#these are the flashbacks ive got left

[milkshakeworm]

first time planning out flashbacks kinda nervous

[thedrotter]

not-yet-dead-person

silly comic of a conversation in-game i thought was too funny not to make something proper for instead of a doodle ww

(timelapse + wip images (thus silly process commentary in read more if you like artist commentary :3)

i think the sketch looks silly and goofy and funny so i find it important to share with you the mere presence of the faces i drew on it. i drew it on top of the boxes without staying inside its borders because i find my proportions can get wonky if i draw them cropped in a restricted space. and I feel trapped otherwise and i will draw BAD!!! give me spaceeeee to go wild!!!!

the head circles are there for emotional support

very low res speedpaint because truth is the canvas was much bigger than the space where my comic was placed. i didnt account when exporting my timelapse in 720px that that tiny space would look so pixelated ... but it's able to be percieved, so its okay.

(i will now comment on my process and it is not brief sorry)

usually i would try to clean up my sketches and figure out what goes on top before jumping into linework, but since there are multiple panels and drawings i chose to jump into inking right away for the sake of brevity. i just went in with a brush that uses pen pressure and drew what was needed. i added extra line thickness and contrast in areas around the face because it helps direct your eyes there more easily that way.

according to her equipment rei has a chain belt but i only remembered it existed once I was going to color, and i did not like that discovery... I chose to ignore it to maintain my peace. i already have the color palettes for these characters figured out, and i didnt really want to think about a new element at the moment www I tend to overthink those things a lot so i skipped it

the rest is rather straightforward! not that anything else wasn't, but in here i could turn my brain off and sing. linework and sketching require mumbling so i cannot turn my brain off. just block in the characters with a solid color so i can have a mask (something along those lines,) where the color can stay inside. then just color in !!!

Base colors just had slight cell shading on the skin, and for the hair i airbrush a bit of the skincolor in low opacity near the forehead... I'm not sure what it means, but i can look at the faces easier with it somehow. i like the gentle subtlety it adds even if you cant really tell. it makes things look nice.

background was just me blocking in the color of the wall and floor, shade the wall a bit, then slap a noise and free use wood texture on top. work smarter not harder ! yet it took a bit to make it look stylistically fitting with the characters, and even now i think bottom middle panel looks odd. whatever!!!

for the middle panel i thought itd be funny if the background was a solid silly and colorful one to contrast the next panel's sketchy black one. a contrast to how the word widow is seen. on that note my handwritting is not pointy. i gaslighted my hand into thinking that it was indeed pointy in that moment so i could write "not-yet dead person" in letters that didn't seem cute. my hand did not fall for it but it complied anyway

that's basically it! I'm not sure what else i could say that doesn't feel barebones because it really is that straightforward. if you're curious I used clip studio paint for this. only special brush used was for linework (a brush named Lemon Brush), the rest used were just the default. my computer gets the least credit. it was trying to convince me a 20mb file was going to nuke it all the time and hardly let me save multiple times so i do not appreciate it

[waheedawolf]

.

[dandunn]

I'm not going to get angry about tumblr anymore it's not worth it I'm just going to think about whales instead

[stoat-party]

Every Fallout 4 Companion’s Approximate Birth Year (Part 3/3)

CVRIE — 2076

I assume Miss Nannies went out of production when the world exploded.

Codsworth — 2077

His box is still in your house during the prologue.

He also mentions enjoying the “months” he’s spent with you, though he might mean since Shaun was born.

Nick — 2175

We know it was over a century ago, but it can’t have been too far prior to the Gen 3 rollout around 2227.

I think Nick is the older brother, because it makes sense to start by creating a synth with stored personalities before trying to make one that develops a personality autonomously.

Longfellow — 2223

This man is only in his SIXTIES, they are LYING TO YOU

The Children of Atom were full-fledged on the Island when Longfellow was young. Confessor Cromwell is the one who sent them to Maine.

But he couldn’t have become Confessor until the mid-2250s, because he’s only FORTY-FOUR in Fallout 3, and he had a background as a trader before that! AND there still had to be time for the Children to travel all the way to Maine.

So Longfellow was born in the twenties, had his sad backstory in the fifties, and is about 65 in Fallout 4.

Strong — 2230

Strong could have been anyone, but I think he was either a divorced dad who would’ve been an accountant in another life, or just Mayor McDonough.

Hancock — 2235

Is 53-year-old Hancock controversial? Let me cook.

There’s support for the theory that synth McDonough was created before the election in 2282. We can assume the human had full gray hair at that point, because synths don’t go gray. So he was probably in his fifties at least.

John was younger, but he can’t have been that much younger. So he was probably ghoulified in his late forties.

Deacon — 2245

If you accept the John D. theory, this does put him a little on the young side, but it fits.

Gage — 2251

There’s not much backstory from his teens up to 2286, and I’m tempted to believe it was a shorter period. But he has late-thirties eyes.

…Eye.

Cait — 2260

Her parents helpfully drew the line at child trafficking, so we have a good idea of her age. She was 18 when she went into slavery and about 23 when she left.

Some time later, she spent about three years at the Combat Zone. Assuming some buffer room between the two periods, I put her at 27 years.

Danse — 2261

He’d have lived in the Institute for awhile, then Rivet City, then the Brotherhood.

He was already a paladin in 2277, but Maxson says it took him “many years” to become one.

Preston — 2262

I don’t know what it is about him that screams 25-year-old to me.

He joined the Minutemen at 17, then had “a few good years” before 2282 when Becker died.

MacCready — 2264

He was twelve in August 2277, and at that point he’d been mayor for three years.

He became mayor at ten. So he’s got to be nearly thirteen at the start of Fallout 3, which would make him 23 in Fallout 4.

Piper — 2166

Nat seems 13 to me. 

If Piper is old enough to have taken care of her as a baby, but not old enough to have significant memories of their mother, 21 sounds about wright.

Curie — 2277

Glory escaped the Institute in 2280, and she and G5 had known each other for some time before that.

Ada — 2281

Jackson seems to have created her reasonably recently.

Dogmeat IV — 2285

I think he is ouppy:)

X6-88 — 2287. 

Yeah, I said it.

This man thinks he’s so evil but he’s an actual baby.

My reasoning is that he wishes he had been there to see the University Point massacre in 2286, but apparently wasn’t.

It makes the game so much funnier.

If he was born earlier in the year, he could have been trained in time for the Kellogg flashback.

Part 1

Part 2

[bamsywrites]

And Comes Dawn pt iv

Pairing: sauron/halbrand x reader

Summary: truths are revealed.

Warings: talk of mass murder, mentions of death, family loss, angst, reader gets angry a little bit, flashbacks, I'm sure yall will have more questions

Notes: this part is kinda short. I'm not super fond of it. I don't think I got galadriel down. Idk Idk I just think it doesn't read all that great. Feedback is appreciated. I love yall honestly.

Series Masterlist

He could feel the beast approaching before he saw the masts in the fog. The impending doom of everyone on board this raft was minutes away and the elf set his plans aflame with 4 words.

“I know your face.”

Her words and the look on your face as she spoke them played over and over on an endless loop. He could not figure out what you could possibly have done to gain the elves' attention. You stood there still, looking as if you wanted the sea to swallow you whole.

“Look! There's a ship.” Someone called. Everyone looked toward the horizon, but he slowly made his way towards you. He couldn't let you die, even though it was the sole reason he'd called the beast here. Perhaps he'd never be able to do it either way, but he knew now that your death wasn't an option.

There was a small back and forth, was it a corsair ship or was it help? It didn't take long before he hear your voice whisper the truth.

“That's our ship.”

No sooner had the words left your mouth, did screaming and panic set in amongst the ship inhabitants, one even pushing the elf overboard. He could see the fear on face, feel it emanating off of you. Your arms wrapped around your body and eyes clamped closed. His attempts to block you from his mind had made you feel alone. He could see that much. He knew in that instance he'd never be able to leave you to die.

“Sweet one,” He reaches for you, gently holding your face in his hands and making you look at him. Those eyes. What was happening to him? “Look at me.sweet one, I will die before I allow any harm to come to you. Do you understand? Stay by side.” He searched your eyes to make sure you understood. The way you fear disappeared under his gaze, and the little nod to your head was stirring something, a warmth, deep within him. If he reached back to distant memories within his mind, the feeling wasn't unfamiliar, and he'd once been filled with it.

It was unwelcome now, though, and he wouldn't allow himself to name the feeling. He banished it from his thoughts as his thumbs caressed your cheeks. This was nothing more than a deception to sate his growing curiosity and nothing more. He removed his hands from your face, and you instantly held on to his wrist, keeping him anchored to your side. He could feel your pulse quicken as the beast swam under the raft and again when it pushed its body into it.

“This way, sweet one.” He called over the sound of wood breaking and screams, the waves crashing. His fingers tangled with yours as he was all but dragged along with him. Quickly, he had untied a small portion of the raft, pushing it so you were out to safety.

“We can't leave her out there,” you motioned towards the elf, swimming away from the calamity.

He had no intentions of leaving her for a multitude of reasons, but it was interesting that you wanted to save her. She obviously knew something about you that you didn't want known, and it would all go away if you let the elf drown.

But you didn't want that to happen.

Of course you didn't.

He wouldn't be in this mess if you were that easy to read.

~

You sat back against one of the spikes, the raft causing your body to rock to and fro. You didn't look at Halbrand, nor at the elf - whose name you'd learned was Galadriel. You simply looked out at the waves, memories that you struggled to forget playing over and over in your mind.

“Up, up little one,” a deep voice laughed, picking you up and standing you on the table. Your father rested his forehead against yours, and you giggled. The music from the festival was loud outside the doors to your small home but Mama had said you couldn't go due to your fever. You needed rest, she had told you and your father repeatedly, but your Papa ignored her.

His hands clasped your face, “Perhaps we cannot dance out there, but we will in here.” A kiss pressed to your nose as he lifted you in his arms and danced throughout the living area as your body shook with laughter.

You were pulled from your memory by Halbrands voice, “You needn't keep your distance.”

“I am not keeping my distance. I am simply wondering what manner of man would leave his companions to die,” the elf replied back, eyes not looking at him nor attention away from her task.

“One who knows how to survive.”

Those words tore you back into your memories.

“If you do not do this, you will never know how to survive.” Your brother towered over you with his arms crossed, looking at you expectantly. He was 11 years older than you, and he tried to parent you often.

“Papa says I'm only 6, and I needn't worry about that yet.” You responded by pushing your plate away and crossing your arms, staring up at him with a firey defiance.

“You must always be ready for….”

“For what, boy?,” your uncle interjected, “ I heard no marching of armies? No horns blaring. I simply see a young girl who wishes not to eat the radishes your mother made for dinner. It is hardly a matter of life and death.”

Your brother sighed, sitting back and crossing his arms. He had the best intentions, he truly did. He simply wants what was best for you, wants you to be healthy and strong and not have a hunger in your belly.

Halbrand and the elf continued their bickering as your mind swarmed with the happy memories you had of your family. Your mama helping you make your first pie, which your father ate in its entirety though you suspect it was hornedesly inedible. Your father's deep voice as he'd sing, sometimes rocking you to sleep or dancing with you through the house, it was your favorite song. Sitting atop your uncle's shoulders as he walked along the path to the village. Your brother's jokes and how he'd always sneak you an extra serving of cake.

Your family had been happy, your home full of laughter and light. Your parents had adored each other, and the love they had was the envy of all young girls searching for true love. He brought her flowers and danced with her even when there was no music. You loved your life, and you had taken that happiness for granted. It all came crashing down when your mother caught a fever and nothing could break it. Those were memories you refused to wallow in or entertain. They were locked away so far in the back of your mind that it would break your very being to bring them out now.

“I have pursued this foe since before the first sunrise bloodied the sky,” you were pulled from your thoughts to the heated conversation between Galadriel and Halbrand. “It would take more than your lifetime to even speak the names of those they've taken from me.”

You scoffed. Your body filled with irritation as you shook your head, their heads snapped to your direction. You felt anger fill your veins as you remembered everything you had lost. Not just your family, but your village and all those who lived in it. “Our loss isn't less significant than yours simply because our lifetime is shorter.”

Galadriel appraised you for a moment, her anger written on her face. “You have grown into the spitting image of your brother. It is a coincidence, is it not, that orcs burned your village and a wyrm destroyed your ship and yet you live.”

Halbrand chuckled in disbelief, “What are you saying? That she, of all people, commands an orc army and controls a wyrm. What do you think she is?”

Galadriel never took her eyes off you, she spoke two words in elvish that had been haunting you for 15 years. Whispered behind your back anywhere you roamed.

“What does that mean?”

“Elf slayer,” you said quietly. “Your king himself said I am not the sins of my father. That I was a child. That I was to be unpunished.”

“It is still his blood that flows through your veins,” Galadriel spoke coldly, “Does your companion know that your father was an insane cultist? He has a right to know of whom he travels with.”

Halbrand looked at you, his brows furrowed in confusion, “What is she talking about?”

Your lip trembled, and you caught it in between your teeth. You took a deep breath to calm your nerves, but your breath was still shaky. “My father, uncle, and brother butchered a small village of elves as they slept. They were caught and executed for their crimes.”

Halbrand looked speechless. He turned his attention back to Galadriel as if looking for more answers.

“It was a blood ritual with the hopes of bringing back the enemy,” Galadriel looked to him. “To use elvish blood to resurrect Sauron,” her eyes turned to look at you, her accusation clear in them.

“ I do not wish to bring evil upon this world. I do not wish to subjugate my people's under the will of a tyrant. I have done nothing with my life besides try and repent for the atrocities committed by my family. For you to stand in accusation of me when your people, when your king, absolved me of any guilt. If you recall correctly, I was merely 8 and asleep in my bed when it happened.”

Galadriel opened her mouth in retort but closed it quickly as thunder cracked and storm clouds formed in the sky. This conversation wasn't over, but there were more pressing matters at hand now.

previous next

[starsinthesky5]

you belong with me IV part 1 || joe burrow x reader

description: you and joe attend your sister's wedding together and relish the blissfulness that a new relationship brings

a/n: whew this one is longggg. and this is after splitting it up so the original version was going to be even longer 😭 anyway, hope you all enjoy it ;) this also features a flashback requested by @joeys-babe! ilysm girly💕 also, there may be a few faint fearless album references here and there (told you that these two reminded me of that album's love songs)

part 2 will be out next week!

word count: 19 k

warnings: smut, language, slight angst? 

you belong with me masterlist (parts 1-3 located here)

—————————————————————

January 3rd

You finished applying the last bit of lip gloss to your lips before stepping back from the mirror, straightening out the strappy-silky blush pink dress that hugged your body in all the best ways possible and the high slit showing just enough leg. Your hair was curled and clipped back with two pieces hanging in the front and your gold jewelry glistened in the warm light of the bathroom, specifically the ring on your left hand which was a permanent & constant reminder of the person in your life that meant the most to you. 

“Y/N, you look amazing,” your sister said from behind you, interrupting your daze.

You turned around, your sister standing behind you in her robe, her hair done up in her ‘wedding look’, with two glasses of champagne in her hand. 

“Thanks, Kay,” you smiled as you walked over to her, grabbing the champagne glass she was offering you and taking a good sip to hopefully take the edge off and cool down your brain that was operating at 100 miles per hour because of the fact that it was Wedding Day.

“I see you went with gold jewelry per my suggestion,” she gloated as she looked at your earrings, your necklace, the bracelets on your wrist, her eyes stopping at the ring on your left hand (which was the only ring you were wearing). 

“Hm, that’s new,” she said as she grabbed your hand and pulled it up to her face. You froze as she examined the ring, the ring Joe had given to you in December. 

“Yeah. I, um, got it at an antique shop a few weeks ago,” you lied as you took another sip of champagne. 

“Really? It looks so authentic. I’ve never seen such real-looking fake diamonds and jewels,” she said as she studied the ring. 

Before she could ask any other questions and you blabbed about who the ring was actually from, you quickly changed the topic. “Shouldn’t you be getting your makeup done right now?” you asked as you looked over at the clock. 

“She’s almost done with Veronica and then I’ll go out,” she smiled as she let go of your hand and reached up to tuck in a flyaway hair on the top of your head. 

“Thanks,” you nodded as you started to take another sip of your champagne. 

“Of course,” she nodded. “I have to make sure you look perfect for Joe,”. 

You nearly choked on your drink, your eyes widening in shock as your brain registered what your sister was suggesting. 

You hadn’t told your family about the two of you yet, you were practically a secret. You wanted to tell everyone, but the two of you also wanted to enjoy this for a little bit without it being out in the world. But you were also playing a risky game, one tiny slip-up from you and your sister would be cracking the case she had been trying to break open for years.

“W- What?” you coughed.

“Relax, Y/N,” she said while rubbing your arm. “I was just messing with you,”.

“R- Right,” you coughed again. 

“But you did bring him as your date, no surprise there though,” she smirked, your eyes rolling at her relentless attitude. “Just like how he brought you with him to that Christmas party last month. You sure you don’t have anything to tell me,” she warily asked you. 

“Nope,” you voiced, remaining calm and collected so that you wouldn’t give it away. 

“God, when are you going to make a move? You guys aren’t getting any younger,” she asked, playfully shoving your shoulder.

Little did she know, you already did. You already made a lot of moves.  

“Kay, we’re just friends. I’ve told you that many many many times,” you lied, attempting to hide the growing blush on your cheeks by walking out of the bathroom, Kaylee following you back into the bridal suite. 

“Actions speak louder than words,” she teased as she walked over to the now-empty makeup station and sat down on the comfy chair. 

You shook your head while turning around and walking over to the dining table, walking past the other bridesmaids who were trying on different shoes to pair with their dresses.

“I can’t believe Joe Burrow is here,” you overheard your sister's friend Veronica say to the other girls. 

Your heart skipped a beat when you overheard his name being mentioned, your face heating up at the nature of the conversation.

“Shhh, he’s Y/N’s date,” her other friend Lacy said as she glanced over at you.

“So? From what I’ve heard they’re just good friends and if she’s not going to go for it, then who’s stopping me?” Veronica laughed. “I mean, have you seen Joe? Give me 5 minutes with him alone and he’ll be stuck to my side,”. 

“Yeah, but that’s still her best friend and she brought him as her date. Besides, don’t you ever see the stuff online about how none of his girls seem to stick around? And then don’t you see the stuff online about how people think Y/N and him have something going on which is why he doesn’t really have a girlfriend,” Lacy attempted to whisper but was doing terribly. 

“Who cares? If she really likes him, she’s doing a terrible job at showing it because as far as I see, he’s still on the market,” Veronica said with a grin. 

You rolled your eyes again because of how childish it all sounded. You wanted to say something to them, defending your relationship and getting them to back off but how could you defend a relationship that people didn’t even know was a relationship yet? You felt like a teenager, hiding her first boyfriend from her family and friends and sneaking around like you had something scandalous to hide.

“Whatever,” you whispered as you placed your champagne glass down on the dining table. You reached for a chocolate cupcake but were interrupted by a knock at the front door, nobody noticed but you. 

“I got it,” you said aloud to everyone, nobody listening as your sister was wrapped up in a conversation with the makeup artist, and the other girls were busy trying on their shoes and talking about your boyfriend. “Okay,” you sighed as you walked over to the door of the suite. 

You opened the door, your eyes staring at the shoes of the person standing in front of you, slowly moving up their body as you met their face. 

“You look gorgeous,” Joe said, a cheeky grin on his face as he stuffed his hands in his pants pockets, his eyes moving from your toned legs, to your perfect hips, and up to your beautiful face.  

“Joe,” you gasped as you stepped out into the hallway with him, closing the door behind you. “What’re you doing up here,” you asked him as you took in how handsome he looked in his suit, the urge to pull him into one of the rooms by his tie incredibly strong. 

“I came to see my stunning girlfriend,” he smiled as he backed you up to the wall. 

You blushed when you felt his hand brush against your waist, “If Kaylee catches us out here-,”.

“We’ll be fine,” he said as he grabbed your hand, toying with the ring on your finger. “I just wanted to see you for a few minutes before the ceremony,”.

“Oh yeah?” you beamed as you ran your hands up his suit jacket to his broad shoulders. 

“How’s it going in there? You guys at each other's throats yet?” he asked, knowing how you felt about some of your sister's friends. 

“Well, Veronica was going on about how she apparently needs 5 minutes alone with you to get you stuck to her side,” you said, rolling your eyes as Joe’s mouth dropped. 

“No way,” he said.

“Yes, way. Future Mrs. Burrow is probably in there talking about baby names right now,” you teased, Joe clearly not liking the joke as he wasn’t laughing like you were. 

“Please, the real future Mrs. Burrow is standing right in front of me,” he said, giving your waist a gentle squeeze as he gazed deeply into your eyes. You felt your heartbeat pick up, his touch sending shivers throughout your body much like the words that came out of his mouth. 

“It doesn’t bother me. She’ll figure it out at some point,” you smiled confidently.

“As much as I hate other girls talking about me like that and how much I’d love for you to shut them up, I like that we’re just enjoying this for now without having it out in front of everyone,” Joe nodded, referring to enjoying each other’s company without having everyone know you were officially a couple. 

“Me too,” you smiled. “By the way, you look amazing,” you said as you gave him another once-over. “I need to see you in more suits,”. 

“No, you look amazing. This dress is reallyyyy doing something to me,” he said as he moved his hands to your lower back, feeling the strappy design that was exposing a little too much of your bare back for his liking. “You look stunning with it on,”.

“If you play your cards right tonight, I might even let you take it off,” you teased as you threaded your fingers through his hair, your head leaning against the wall. 

“I’ll be sure to be on my best behavior then,” he mumbled as he slowly leaned in for a kiss, you moved your head off the wall and crashed your lips against his, his hands pulling your body closer to his as you meet for a fiery kiss. His touch sent electric jolts throughout your body as his hand went from your back to your ass.

“If we were alone right now,” he said between kisses. 

“I know,” you panted as you pulled him back to your lips, your arms looping around his neck and pulling him closer. 

The feeling of his lips against yours was sending you into a frenzy, not a single coherent thought in your mind as you melted under his electrifying touch. You felt his lips move down, pressing kisses from your chin down to your neck and his hands sliding across the silky fabric of your dress. 

“Joe,” you whispered as you grabbed his hair and moved him back to your lips.

“Mm, I can’t get enough of you,” he said between kisses. 

A few heated seconds later, you heard the doorknob make a few clicking noises before hearing the door slowly open. 

“Fuck,” Joe whispered as he quickly pulled away from you and backed up so that you both had enough space between you.

“Stay cool,” you mouthed as you saw your sister walk out from the corner of your eye. 

“Hey, lovebirds. I’m not interrupting anything right?” she teased. 

“Uhh….,” you nervously stalled as you tried to come up with an excuse as to why Joe was up here.

“No, not interrupting at all. I just wanted to check our reception seats with Y/N. I think we’re sitting with your parents so I wanted to make sure she was cool with that,” Joe said, saving you both from being caught with a somewhat believable lie. 

“Ah, I see,” she nods, not fully believing him as her eyes darted back and forth from him to you. She noticed that you looked a little shaken up—which you were since she almost caught you both in the act—and that you were anxiously fidgeting with the ring on your left finger. She also noticed that your lipgloss looked smudged and his lips looked more pink than usual.

“Well, I just came to grab Y/N. The girls need your opinion about their shoes real quick since you’re Maid of Honor and apparently your opinion holds more weight,” she said as she turned to face you, not bothering to grill you about how this looked. 

“Right,” you nodded as you glanced over at Joe.

“Go ahead. I’ll see you down there,” Joe said to you with a feverish look, his hand touching your exposed back, sending shivers throughout your body before he said bye to your sister and turned around.

“See you in a bit,” you said as you turned back to look at him, your mind fixated on the heated look he gave you as he turned around again before he walked back down the hall to the elevator. 

You look back at your sister, noticing her skeptical facial expression. “What?” you laughed as you crossed your arms. 

“Ohh, nothing,” she smiled as she grabbed your hand and pulled you back into the room.

After the Wedding Ceremony 

“I got you your favorite,” Joe said as he handed you a peach mojito and sat back down next to you with his drink.

“Thank you,” you said to him, squeezing his thigh underneath the table as you took a sip of the fruity beverage. The wedding ceremony had concluded a few hours ago and it was nothing short of magical and fairytale-like. You and Joe were currently seated at the table with your parents, having a few drinks and catching up while your sister and her husband were making their rounds around the party. 

“So Joe, how’s football going? Think we’ll see another AFC title this year?” your dad asked him.

“Dad,” you said, sending him daggers with your eyes. “I told you, no football talk tonight. Let Joe have a rest day,”.

“It’s Okay, Y/N,” Joe laughed, grabbing your hand underneath the table and giving it a reassuring squeeze. “I hope so. We’re taking it day by day still but I feel good about everything but I know it won’t be easy,” he said to your dad. 

“Well, just know that we’re proud of you and you’re doing great,” your mom chimed in. 

“I’ll double down on that,” your dad added.

“Thanks, guys,” Joe smiled. 

Your parents had seen Joe’s football journey since the beginning just like you had. They were practically a second set of parents for him given how close you two were and his relationship with them was something Joe held incredibly close to his heart, something he wouldn’t ever want to replace. 

“Y/N, you really outdid yourself with these flowers,” your mom pointed out. “You better keep the contact of whichever florist you found because this looks amazing,”. 

“Actually,” you said, looking over at Joe. “You should be thanking Joe. The original florist canceled at the last minute a few weeks ago and he actually pulled a few strings and got one of the best florists money can buy to come through. Even picked out most of the flowers himself,”. 

“Well that was sweet,” your dad smiled as he took a sip of his champagne. 

“Very,” your mom added. “But did we expect any less from him? He has an excellent track record of coming to Y/N’s rescue whenever she needs to be saved. He’s always been so good to her,”. 

“Okayyyy, that’s enough of that. I can just feel his ego getting bigger by the second,” you laughed as you poked his shoulder. 

“Someone’s just mad that I have exceptional taste in flowers,” he said as he turned his head and leaned in closer.

You raised your eyebrow, “You wish. I would’ve done just fine without your help,” you scoffed as you leaned in closer, your eyes navigating down to his plump pink lips. God, you wanted nothing more than to kiss him right now.

“Okay, let’s not get into a fistfight at your sister's wedding now,” your mom said as she got up with your dad. “We’re going to go make some rounds around the room. Try not to murder each other while we’re gone,” she smiled. 

“No promises,” Joe joked as he watched them walk away, his head turning back to look at you, watching as you were laughing to yourself.

“And what’re you laughing about?” he asked.

“They thought we were going to fight, that’s funny,” you giggled. “More like kiss the hell out of you but I guess they couldn’t catch onto that,”. 

He leaned in closer and you could feel his heated gaze on you as you started fidgeting with your ring again. “You know, we didn’t get to finish what we started in the hallway earlier,” he whispered into your ear. You felt his hand creep through the slit of your dress and to your bare thigh, your cheeks heating up again as you could practically hear your heartbeat.

“Joe, we’re in a hall filled with people,” you whispered, moving his hand out from under your dress. 

“So?” he said looking around. “Everyone’s doing their own thing, nobody’s looking at us,” he said as he moved his hand back to your thigh. 

“I’m not going to kiss you in a room filled with people who think we’re just friends,” you laughed. “I’ll have every single female in this room out for my blood,”.

“Who said anything about kissing?” he whispered as you felt his hand creep up your thigh, inching closer to your heat. Your breath hitched as you felt his fingers ghost over your core through your lace panties, your body jerking when you felt his fingers against your folds. “Joe,” you whispered.

“What, Baby?” he whispered in your ear.

You turned your head to meet his eyes, opening your mouth to say something but before you could, someone interrupted you. 

“Y/N! There you are,” you could recognize that fake tone of voice anywhere. Veronica. 

You turned your head to face her, watching as she sat down across from you and Joe, the fakest smile plastered on her face and a glass of champagne in her hand. “I’ve been looking all over for you,” she smiled.

"Were you looking for me or looking for my boyfriend?" you thought to yourself.  

“Hey, Veronica,” you forcefully smiled and nodded at her. 

“And you must be Joe,” she said, turning her head towards Joe and batting her eyelashes. 

“Nice to meet you,” Joe smiled, his finger sliding your panties to the side causing you to bump your leg against the table at the sudden movement. You looked over at Joe who was looking straight ahead at Veronica, a smug look on his face as she was introducing herself to him. 

You gasped lightly when you felt Joe’s fingers sneak up to your clit, his thumb toying with the sensitive bud which made your body jerk again, your hand gripping the table as he entered two fingers into your soaking core. 

“Mmph,” you quietly moaned into your hand as you placed your elbow on the table and covered your mouth.

“So Joe, Is it true what they say about professional athletes’ taste in ice cream?” she smirked at him, clearly using ice cream as a relationship and sexual innuendo. Your eyes widened at her boldness and at the fact that Joe was pumping his fingers in and out of you with zero shame. He started to rub circles around your clit with his thumb, your leg twitching as you started to feel restless. 

"This Bitch.." you thought to yourself as you squirmed in your seat.

“Uhh, what do they say?” Joe asked her as he glanced over at you, your pleasure rapidly building up as you were struggling to stifle your moans. 

“Hm,” you lightly inhaled as you sat back again and tried to act normal, but it was not working very well.

“Y/N, are you alright?” Veronica asked as she looked over at you, the suspicion on her face evident.

“Yeah, uh, I’m fine,” you winced as you felt his fingers pick up the pace, your arousal begging to be released, your eyes looking over at Joe a few times who was still looking ahead with a smirk on his face. Just a few more pumps and you’d reach your pleasure, you wanted him to stop because if you got caught this would be incredibly hard to explain, but you needed him to keep going. 

“Oookay..Anyway,” she said as she looked back over at Joe. “That they don’t stick to one flavor so they can try every kind without feeling the need to have the same boring one for the rest of their lives?”.

“Hmph,” you moaned into your hand as you covered your mouth again, the urge to slap Veronica across the face almost as strong as the urge to come undone right now. You felt your belly flutter at the gentle shock of pleasure vibrating throughout your body once Joe had hit your sweet spot, your hands gripping the tablecloth incredibly tightly as you were just seconds away from feeling pure bliss.

“Uhhh,” Joe nervously laughed as he gave your core a few more pumps, feeling your walls start to tighten around them. You were so incredibly close, but then he slipped his fingers out of your core, leaving you stranded on the edge. You felt everything go still as you let out a shaky breath when you looked over at him, your eyes widening at what he had just done. 

“I see you’ve tried a few flavors before but none of them seem to have stuck with you, it seems like you got bored. Hm, have you thought about trying strawberry?” she winked, clearly referring to herself and her obnoxious red hair. 

“No actually, I haven’t. I’m not a big strawberry ice cream kinda guy.” Joe laughed again, sliding his wet fingers across your bare thigh and giving your twitching leg a few loving squeezes. “Is it good?”.

Was Joe just painfully oblivious to what she was actually talking about or was he doing this on purpose? Whatever it was, you couldn’t sit there for another second and listen as the ache between your thighs was getting stronger and the incredibly needy comments Veronica was passing were making you sick to your stomach. 

“Uhh, excuse me,” you said as you quickly got up from your seat. 

“You Okay?” Joe innocently smiled at you as if he didn’t know what was wrong. 

“Yeah, I just feel sick all of a sudden. Might be from the shrimp I had earlier, I’m going to take a breather,” you lied as you looked over at Veronica, wanting to wipe the grin off her face as she was practically making googly eyes at Joe. 

You quickly walked away before Joe could say anything else, your stomach doing backflips as your brain started to register what had happened underneath that table. He actually just did that in front of Veronica, in front of everyone. 

“I should go check on her,” Joe said as he glanced back at your figure that was getting further and further away. 

“I’m sure she’s fine,” Veronica chirped as she watched Joe get up from his seat, a scoff following as she watched Joe ignore her and walk away. 

Meanwhile, you hand wandered out of the Reception hall and were leaning against the bathroom door, staring off into space before you felt a familiar pair of lips press a kiss on your shoulder. 

“Absolutely not!” you clamored as you turned around to face Joe. 

“What?” he innocently chuckled.

“You know exactly what,” you huffed, crossing your arms and sending him a look that he would easily understand.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

“Oh I don’t know, maybe the fact that my boyfriend just fingered me under the fucking table, didn’t even finish me off, and then proceeded to blatantly flirt with the same girl that was talking about making a move on you earlier right in front of me,” you grumbled. 

“I’ve never seen you Jealous before,” he smiled. “It’s kinda hot,”. 

Your mouth dropped open, “Are you serious right now?”. You were a little mad about the Veronica thing but it didn’t really bother you because you knew that Joe wouldn’t ever look at another girl the way he looks at you, and to be completely honest with yourself you were more mad that he did that under the table and didn’t let you finish. 

You scoffed and started to walk down the hall, glancing back to see if Joe was following you, which he was. He walked a little faster and grabbed your hand, pulling you back towards him in one strong pull. 

“Okay, Okay. I’m sorry for feeding into her terrible attempt at flirting with me,” he said, his eyes filled with adoration as he squeezed your hand. 

You continued to stare at him, not responding to his apology on purpose before you felt him pull you into his chest, his mouth inches from your ear. “Let me make it up to you,” his hot breath made your core throb again. 

“How?” you whispered to him.

“Let me finish what I started under that table,” he whispered into your ear again. “We both know that’s the real reason you’re mad,”

You looked back into his infatuated eyes, a smile creeping onto your face as you looked behind him and then behind you to make sure nobody was around. The ache between your thighs was still there, calling his name just like how your heart was. You couldn’t stay mad at him, not when he looked at you like this. 

“Deal,” you whispered as you grabbed his hand, urgently pulling him down the hall.

“Where are we going?”. 

You stopped once you got to the bedroom suites, slowing down your pace as you walked past each room before reaching yours. “My room,” you smiled at him, pulling out your keycard and unlocking the door. 

“Thank God for wedding venues with bedrooms,” Joe mumbled to himself as you dragged him inside, quickly closing the door and backing him up against it as you got straight to business. Your hands tangled in his hair as you met for a passionate kiss, your lips then trailing down to his neck where you absentmindedly nipped his skin while kissing it. 

“We have to be quick,” you panted as you pulled away from him. 

He nodded before pulling you into the bathroom, quickly helping you onto the countertop before unbuckling his belt and pulling his pants and boxers down in one swift motion. He moved his hands under your dress, sliding your drenched panties to the side before thrusting into you, a throaty moan coming from your lips at the sudden intrusion. 

You’d never get sick of this feeling. Ever since you and Joe got a taste of what this felt like with each other, neither of you could resist sneaking away for a few moments and feeling this way again and again. It didn’t matter where you were, it didn’t matter when it was, but it always started & ended with you both feeling like horny college kids. Call it making up for lost time if you will? 

“Joe,” you whimpered as you grabbed onto his shoulders, his thrusts picking up as the sounds coming from your lips got louder. 

“Fuck, you feel so good,” he smiled as he dropped his head to your shoulder, your hands finding themselves in his hair. 

“Fuck, harder,” you moaned into his ear, his merciless pace doing wonders for you. He smiles, moves his head back to yours, and captures your lips in a sloppy kiss as he quickened his pace, rapidly thrusting into your slick core which meshed with both your moans and created a familiar harmonious melody that echoed throughout the room. 

He moved deeper and deeper inside your core with each well-placed thrust, your cushiony walls beginning to tighten around him as you moaned against his lips. “Joe, right there,” his lips glossy and swollen from being attached to yours for too long. He used his hand to spread your legs apart a little more, the increased space allowing him to hit an angle that he hadn’t before. 

“J- Joe,” you struggled to moan as you dropped your head on his shoulder. 

“Remember, you’re the only girl I want,” he moaned as he peppered kisses around your jaw. “Okay?”.

“…Yeah,” you moaned as you felt him hit your sweet spot. “I’m the only girl you want,” you whimpered as you threw your head back against the mirror, the band in your belly tightening as he picked up the pace.

“I’m close,” you whined as you felt yourself clamp down on his thick cock.

He moved his hand underneath your dress again, his fingers coated with your arousal as he began to rub circles around your clit. “Joe, oh my g- god,” you moaned as you felt the band snap, your walls convulsing around him as your body started to shake from the intense feeling. 

“Hang on,” he panted as he picked up his pace again, his hand gripping your waist, his cock twitching inside of your core as he felt himself getting closer to his pleasure. 

A few moments later, you felt him still inside of you as his cum coated your walls, his head dropped to your shoulder again as he bit down on your skin to prevent himself from being too loud, his high washing over him as you were recovering from yours. 

“Shit,” you panted as you rubbed his neck, Joe gently thrusting into you before tapering off.

“If you ever think that I’d want anyone else, you’re crazy,” Joe smiled against your shoulder before tilting his head and pressing kisses to your flushed cheeks. “I don’t give a damn if I have to taste the same flavor of ice cream for the rest of my life,”.

“My kind of ice cream is incredibly delicious,” he said with another kiss on your cheek. “Sweet,” he said with another kiss, this time to your neck. “Kind and gentle,” he said as he kissed your shoulder. “Is 2 in 1 because she’s the love of my life and best friend all in one,” he said with a kiss to your chest. “And far from boring,” he ended with a passionate kiss to your lips, the kiss so intense that it sent you back towards the mirror again. 

“So you do know that she wasn’t talking about ice cream?” you rasped, your voice tired from screaming his name as you felt your heart flutter at his softness and kind words towards you. 

“Obviously,” he laughed as he ran his fingers through his hair. “She wasn’t exactly subtle about it,”.

“Then why were you playing along?”.

“Because I knew it’d make you a little jealous,” he winked. 

“Asshole,” you playfully grumbled as you lightly slapped his chest. 

“I may be an asshole but you still love me,” he said as he raised an eyebrow.

“Unfortunately, that’s something that’ll never change,” you sighed.

“Unfortunately?” he asked. “You say it like it’s a bad thing,”.

“It’s definitely not a bad thing” you grin. “It’s just I love you too much to care about the fact that you did that to me under the table at my sister's wedding, in a room filled with people, and then we proceeded to sneak off mid-party to hook up in the bathroom. If I was with any other guy, I would never even entertain these thoughts. We’re so scandalous,” you said as you wiggled your eyebrows which made him laugh.

“You know I'm not a bad girl, but I seem to be doing bad things with you. I should care, but I don’t,” you blushed. 

“And that’s exactly why you're far from boring; you always seem to surprise me,” he said as he pressed a kiss to your jaw. 

“Love you,” you lazily smiled as you grabbed his face to kiss him again.

“Love you too,” he smiled against your lips. 

A few minutes later, you were both cleaned up and fixing yourselves in the mirror before heading back to the reception. “I hope they didn’t notice we were gone,” you laughed as you fixed a few stray pieces of your hair. 

“I doubt it. They were probably too wrapped up in the party to realize,” he smiled as he fixed his tie. “You ready?” he asked after he was done.

“Mhm,” you nodded, leaning in for one final kiss before getting ready to head back. 

Joe opened your door and stepped out into the hall, you followed him out and closed the door behind you, laughing at a joke he made about how you guys went from sneaking out of weddings to raid the bar to make stronger cocktails to now sneaking out of weddings to have hook up in your room. You were about to reach for his hand before you heard a shriek come from down the hall, your heart stopping when you realized who it was. 

“Busted!” the familiar voice screamed.

“Oh, fuck,” you froze as you realized who it was, being able to recognize that voice anywhere. 

Kaylee. 

You and Joe both looked at each other before looking at Kaylee who was speed walking down the hall to you, both your cheeks turning red as you were caught red-handed. 

“Kaylee,” you forcefully smiled.

“I knew it. I knew it. And you said you were just friends…Ha…Funny,” she laughed. 

“Uhh, Kaylee are you okay?” Joe asked her, his palms getting sweaty as he quickly glanced over at you. 

“I’m great, Joe. Are you okay? You got a little something on your neck,” she said, pointing out the tiny purple bruise on his neck. 

“Fuck,” you mumbled under your breath. 

“Oh, and Y/N, did you bump into something?” She said as she moved her hand to the mark on your shoulder, leaning in to look at it closely. “Oh wait, that looks like a bite mark?”.

“Shit,” Joe mouthed as he looked into your eyes, both of you frozen and having no idea how to play this off. 

“We were just…,” you started to say but not being able to come up with anything.

“We were just taking a breather,” Joe interrupted. 

“Uh huh,” your sister nodded. “So that explains the flushed cheeks, obvious hickey, bite mark on your shoulder, and the fact that Joe’s lips are covered with lipgloss,” your sister said looking at you. “Not to mention whatever I interrupted in the hallway outside the bridal suite earlier was clearly the first part of whatever happened in that room,” she smirked as she pointed behind you.

You quietly stared at your sister, your mind completely blank as you had no idea how to lie to her because she quite literally had caught you both in the act. 

“I…” you trailed off before you felt Joe lightly bump into your shoulder, making you look up at him. One thing about you and Joe was that you could tell each other a thousand words by just looking into each other’s eyes. He didn’t need to say anything but you knew exactly what he was saying to you; his soft gaze calming your nerves, the warmth in his eyes showing that he genuinely cared about you, the adorable crinkles in the corner of his eyes coming out, and his gentle and steady eye contact reassuring you that everything was perfectly fine. 

You nodded your head once you got the message he was trying to convey and looked back at your sister. “We’re dating,” you blurted out.

Kaylee stayed quiet for a few moments and looked back and forth between you two, “Well obviously,” she laughed.

“What?” you deadpanned, your heart-stopping. 

“Y/N, I’m your sister. I know when something’s up with you,” she grinned. “I had a feeling something was going on after that Christmas party you went to together. You started acting weird after that and the phone call we had the night before the party was strange so then I put 2 and 2 together. There was a high chance that I could’ve been wrong but I had a gut feeling,”.

“Damn,” you whispered to yourself. Were you really that bad at hiding it or was Joe’s effect on you just that noticeable? 

“But I’m really happy for you both,” she said. “I always knew you two were meant to be but I was called delusional every time by Y/N over here,” she laughed as she looked at Joe. “Besides, I see the way you look at her, Joe. The eyes never lie,”. 

“Only took us about 9 years but here we are,” Joe said, pulling you closer to him and kissing your forehead. The blissful looks on both of your faces right now matched how you felt with each other. 

“This is the best wedding gift you could possibly give me. My baby sister is finally with her Prince Charming,” she cooed as she gently punched your shoulder.

“Yeah,” you said. “I guess I am,” you smiled up at Joe.

“You know, the wedding setup is still here and I bet my wedding dress fits you,” your sister teased. “You guys can pull a fast one on everyone. I won’t snitch. You can even use that ring on your left hand, Y/N. By the way, Joe, nice taste in jewels,”.

“How did you..,” you questioned since you thought she believed your lie about the ring being from an antique shop.

“I had a hunch,” she winked at you and Joe. “That ring screams expensive,”.

“What were you going to do if you didn’t catch us together like this? Because we weren’t planning on telling anyone for a little longer but it sounds like you were on the case for a while now,” you wondered. 

“Hmm, I probably would’ve encouraged Veronica to steal Joe for a dance to get you to rile you up and get a reaction out of you. No way you’d let her be alone with him,” she giggled.

“I would’ve killed you if you did that,” you scowled, feeling Joe laugh above you at your adorable defensiveness. 

“Okay, Okay,” she laughed while throwing her hands up. “Note to self, steer Veronica away from Joe if I want to live to see my honeymoon,” she giggled.

“Mhm,” you nodded.

“I should get back to the party considering I am the lady of the hour but I want details later. All of them,” she pointed at you both.

“Yes, Ma’am,” Joe saluted before she opened her arms and lept onto you both, pulling you in for a tight hug.

“Ahh, I can’t believe you two finally did it,” she hooted as squeezed you both. “This is the best thing ever!”. 

You looked up at Joe with a heartfelt smile, one that said everything without saying anything just like the looks in both your eyes. Your sister released you both from the hug a few seconds later and said “Make sure to cover those up before you go back in,” while pointing at your shoulder and his neck.

You covered your face with your hands out of embarrassment and let out a soft whine as she walked away, “Remember, no babies out of wedlock! Wrap it before you tap it,” she laughed.

“Oh my god,” you said, your face reddening as you looked over at Joe who was laughing to himself about how comical this situation was.

“If you had told me a few years ago that your sister would be warning us to have protected sex to not have a child out of marriage, I would’ve laughed in your face and walked out the door,” he smiled. 

“That makes two of us. God, I cannot believe she saw that,” you smiled as let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding before looking back up at Joe, his cheeks a little red and his eyes glistening. “You look happy, though,” you said, rubbing his shoulder. 

“That’s because I am happy,” he hummed before he leaned down to press a sweet kiss to your lips. “I love you,”.

“And I love you,” you smiled at him before pecking his lips again.

“I guess we should probably tell your parents now that your sister knows,” Joe said as he grabbed your hand and slowly started leading you back to the reception hall.

“I guess so,” you sighed. “Be prepared for my Mom to hound you with questions about your intentions though. She loves you to death but you’re the boyfriend now and not just the best friend. There’s some pressure on you,”.

“Oh, I’m prepared. I know what my intentions are and I'm not afraid to voice them,” he winked at you, another chill running down your spine as you could practically feel the tenderness and reassurance in his voice. 

A few minutes later, you’re back inside the hall and sitting at the table again with your parents who thankfully hadn’t noticed your absence. They were talking to Joe about needing some help with moving some furniture out of the house and given the gentleman Joe was, he happily said yes. 

You cleared your throat a few moments later and sat up, squeezing Joe’s thigh under the table to get his attention. He looked over at you and met your eyes, your eyes once again telling him everything without needing to say anything. He gave you a small nod before you turned around to your parents.

“So, Mom, Dad,” you said, looking at both of them. “I have something to tell you both,”.

“Go ahead, sweetie,” your mom smiled as she placed her drink down.

You took a deep breath, “I’m seeing someone,” you smiled, feeling Joe grab your hand under the table.

“Really?” your parents asked, both of their eyes lighting up. 

“Yeah,” you nodded. “I have been for about a month now,”.

“Do we know him?” your dad asked, putting his elbow on the table and grabbing his drink.

“Yeah actually,” you laughed as you saw Joe blush from the corner of your eye. “You know him pretty well,”.

“Are you going to tell us his name?” your Dad laughed at your vagueness. 

“Honey, I think she wants us to play the guessing game,” your Mom chuckled. “Am I right, Y/N?”.

You bit your lip and nodded your head, Joe’s fingers softly rubbing your hand as he tried hard to remain quiet. 

“You always loved to play the guessing game as a child, I should’ve seen this coming,” your Dad shook his head.

“Okay then, what does he do? Does he have a stable job?” your mom asked. 

“He’s involved in sports, it’s very stable and it pays very well,” you said, glancing around and not meeting her eyes because this could make it so obvious.

“Okay,” your dad nodded. “How is he? Describe him,”.

“Well, he is the sweetest guy I’ve ever met. He’s really kind, super smart, genuine, caring, and has a great sense of humor. He’s also a big nerd but never likes to admit it because he has this cool guy attitude on the surface,” you say as you feel Joe bump your leg with his leg under the table, making you look over at him and see him give you a look that makes you want to explode into a cloud of pink dust. 

“He’s really athletic too. One of the absolute best at what he does,” you bragged as you looked back at your parents.

“Is he an athlete or something?” your mom asked as she took a sip of her water. 

“Mhm,” you nodded. 

“What sport?” your dad asked. “This guy might be giving Joe a run for his money,” he laughed as he looked at your mom.

You pursed your lips to hide your smile, watching as Joe laughed along with them from the corner of your eye.  

“If I told you the sport it would give it away,” you said matter-of-factly. 

“Okay, well keep going then. You seem to be in a secretive mood tonight,” your mom said.

“Okay, he never fails to make me feel like the most important girl on the planet, never fails to tell me how beautiful and special I am, and never fails to tell me and show me how much he loves me. He cares a lot about me and I feel at home whenever I’m with him, and I haven’t felt that way with any guy before. And whenever we’re around each other I can’t help but fall even more in love with him,” you blushed. 

“Love?” your mom said as she raised an eyebrow. “It’s only been a month though?”.

“It’s only been a month since we’ve been dating but I’ve known him for about 9 years,” you smiled as you leaned back against your chair and looked over at Joe.

“9 years? So she met him in college?” your dad said as he looked at your mom.

“Y/N, why didn’t you bring him to the wedding? No offense Joe, you know we love you, but you should’ve told this mystery man to come. I’m sure we could’ve added an extra invitation,” your Mom said.

Joe was about to say something before you grabbed his hand, “Actually,” you said while picking his hand up from under the table and pressing a kiss to it in front of your parents. “I did bring him with me,”. 

Your parents went silent as they looked at you both and then at each other, “Oh. Ohhhh,” your Mom said as she looked back at you with realization, her eyes softening once she put the puzzle together in her head. “You two,” she said, choking up a little and placing her hand over her heart. “Oh my god,” she said as she looked over at your Dad. 

“Well, would you look at that? It’s about damn time,” he cheered as leaned back and crossed his arms, a huge smile on his face. “I knew this would happen at some point,”.

“Did everyone see it this entire time except for us?” you shook your head as you looked at Joe. 

“I guess so,” he grinned as he placed his arm around your shoulder and brought you in closer. 

You looked over at your Mom who was using a tissue to soak up a few tears in her eyes, “Mom, are you crying?” you pouted. 

“Yes,” she said with a smile. “You have no idea how happy this makes me,”.

“That makes two of us,” Joe said, looking down at you with what looked like real-life heart eyes. 

“I mean you two have been such good friends since college and seeing you both like this,” she said as she felt more tears coming. “I’m just so happy for you both. I couldn’t ask for a better man for my Y/N,”. 

“Ditto. You two are excellent for each other, it all makes perfect sense,” your Dad nodded with a fervent smile. 

“Thanks, Mom and Dad,” you smiled as you dropped your head against Joe’s shoulder, feeling him press two kisses to your forehead before feeling him rest his head against yours.

“You have to tell us everything. How did this happen?” your Dad asked as reached for a glass of water to hand your Mom. 

“It’s quite the story,” Joe smiled as he placed his hand in your hand and started to tell them how this all came to be, your heart growing from all the love you were feeling around you, a majority of it coming off of the man next to you. 

A week later 

“You ready?” Joe asked as he turned the key to the golf cart.

“Absolutely,” you grinned as you crossed your legs and leaned back. “I still can’t believe you bought a golf cart,”.

“Well, this neighborhood is pretty big and there’s a lot of trails and paths around so I thought this would be the right investment,” he smiled at you as he backed out of the driveway. “And also because once you move in we can do nightly drives instead of nightly walks so we don’t get tired halfway through and you beg me for a piggyback ride home,”.

“Hey, don’t act like you don’t enjoy it just as much as I do,” you pointed at him. “But anyway, I can’t wait to move in with you. One more month and I’m all yours,” you bit your lip while rubbing his thigh. 

“You’re already all mine,” he said, leaning in for a quick peck before beginning the drive. 

“That I am,” you smiled as you turned your head back to the road, watching as the sun set over the beautiful Ohio River where you and Joe were driving down to as his house sat right by the water.

“I’m getting major Deja Vu,” he said as he turned onto the grassy path that led down to the river. “Do you remember when we stole that neighbor's golf cart when we went on that beach trip during spring break back at Ohio State?”.  

“You mean the beach trip from hell?” you giggled. “Oooh yeah, I remember,” you nodded. 

Flashback to Spring Break - Ohio State 

“Joe, what if someone sees?” you whisper yelled at him while he was trying to grab the keys to your neighbor’s golf cart from the patio table, your eyes darting back and forth from the door to Joe. 

“Almost..got it…,” he whispered as he grabbed the keys from the table, then carefully sneaked past the windows and made it to the ledge. “Let’s go,” he said as he hopped down from the patio.

“Fuck, we’re going to get in so much trouble,” you laughed as you slid into the golf cart, Joe doing the same and then turning on the cart. 

“I honestly could care less. Anything to get me the hell out of this house for even 10 minutes will suffice,” he said as he quickly backed out of the driveway and started driving towards the beach. 

“Are you alright?” you asked him, rubbing his shoulder as you noticed his exhausted body language. 

“Could be better,” he sighed as he turned onto the beach, driving you both alongside the ocean.

“You wanna talk about it? You know I’m always here,” you said.

He stayed silent for a few seconds, your heartbeat picking up because he wasn’t saying anything and you were getting worried because he was usually quick to confide in you.

“Joe,” you said, gently squeezing his thigh.

“It’s Audrey,” he sighed. 

You went silent at the name. Audrey was Joe’s girlfriend, or situationship as everyone liked to call it. 

“What happened now?” you asked, pulling the hood of your sweatshirt up as you tried to block the cool ocean breeze out. 

Joe turned the cart to face the water before putting it in park, giving you both some time to talk while enjoying the view of the ocean. 

“Just everything,” he sighed as he placed his arm around the back of your seat. “Nothing I do is good enough for her. No matter how hard I try to make things work, she always does something that ruins it,”.

You felt your heart drop at his words, you wished you could do something to make him feel better but you couldn’t. You promised yourself that you’d never put yourself on the field in Joe’s love life. You’d watch from the sidelines, cheering him on with whichever girl captured his heart, even though silently you wished that the girl was you. 

It was enraging watching as Audrey played with Joe’s feelings, always dragging him along even though she clearly didn’t treat him the way he treated her. He knew that he deserved better but each time he tried to pull away, she’d always bring him back and give him hope that things would be different but they never were.

“I mean, just this morning I woke up early to make her breakfast but she decided to go out and get an acai bowl or something and then got mad that I was making you breakfast when she got back,” he shook his head. 

“Are you serious?” you laughed. “Why is she always so petty about everything,”.

“I wish I had an answer. It’s just exhausting being around her. We have moments where things feel normal but they’re very very short moments,” he said as he ran his fingers through his hair. 

“Have you tried talking to her about it?” you asked.

“I did…Just before the trip. I told her that I wanted things to work and she agreed, I also told her where I stood and how this trip was a kind of ‘make it or break it’ for us,” he said.

“What’d she say? you bit your lip while playing with the bracelets on your wrist. 

“She said she understood and gave me the impression that things would be different this weekend. But ever since we’ve been here she’s been on me for literally everything. It was the breakfast thing this morning, then it was her getting mad that we went out for ice cream yesterday without her even though we didn’t even ask the others if they wanted to come so it’s not like we specifically left her out, and then it was her getting mad that we all wanted to go to the pier last night but she wanted to stay in and watch TV,”

“Who stays inside and watches TV while you’re at the fucking beach?” you grimaced. 

“Then it was her getting upset that you were even on the trip in the first place even though I literally told her you were coming,” he shrugged, his eyes quickly darting to you as he realized how bad that sounded. “Sorry about that. I know she isn’t exactly the nicest to you,”.

“No offense taken. I get a vibe from her that tells me everything I need to know,” you sighed. 

“You know what? That’s another thing. She knows you’re my best friend but still treats you like shit for absolutely no reason. It’s like she doesn’t care about anything important in my life,” he ranted.

Important. You were important to Joe. 

You looked at him for a few seconds before dropping your head on his shoulder, his arm wrapping around you as if it were a reflex. “I’m sorry,” you said to him. “I know it’s hard and you deserve so much more,”.

“You have nothing to be sorry for. I’m the one that has the worst taste in girls,” he softly chuckled as he rubbed your shoulder, his phone vibrating on the dash which diverted his attention. 

He leaned forward to see who it was, “Speaking of…,” he said as he grabbed his phone.

“It’s like she’s listening to our conversations,” you joked. “You sure she didn’t bug you?”.

“Wouldn’t be surprised if she did,” he laughed as he opened up the texts.

You watched as Joe’s smile dropped as his eyes skimmed her lengthy text message.

“What’d she say?” you asked.

“Basically asking where I went and why didn’t I tell her I was going somewhere. Then accusing me of sneaking off with you since she doesn’t know where you went either,” he said.

“Well, she’s not wrong about that part,” you shrugged.

“Then she said this isn’t working, I’m not trying hard enough, and that she’s been miserable since she’s been here,” he said as he turned off his phone.

“Damn, no text back?” you said while looking out to the open waters. 

“Nope. I’m done with this bullshit. If she thinks I’m not doing enough then she needs to wake the hell up,” he said as he pulled you in closer. “I’ve tried to do fun stuff with her since we’ve been here but she doesn’t want to do anything other than sit and be mad at me for no reason. I’ve been trying for months. A relationship is a two-way street and I’m not going to work on it if she isn’t going to try. It’s draining and I can’t do it,”.  

“You deserve better, Joe,” you say, tilting your head to look at him. “You’re such an amazing guy and have so much to offer and if Audrey can’t see that, then she isn’t the one,”. 

“I know,” he sighed. “It just sucks when you spend time on someone who you thought was your person,”. 

You looked out at the ocean again, “Did you know that 80% of the ocean is unexplored?”.

“Yeah..” he confusingly said, wondering what this had to do with what you were just talking about.

“Well, the unexplored parts of the ocean probably have new species, new ecosystems, and things we haven’t seen before. In love, there are so many things to explore just like in those unknown parts of the ocean. So many chances to find a deeper connection, to find out things about yourself and other people, to do new things and see new places, and so many chances to find your person. There are endless possibilities. You’ll find your person, I know she’s out there. It might take some exploring and some waiting, but you’ll find her one day,” you said, feeling a visceral ache in your heart because you wanted to be his person so badly. “And she’ll be the one who showers you with all the love you deserve and the same love you give to others,”. 

“You know, you should really do a Ted-Talk episode one day,” he laughed, squeezing your shoulder gently. Your words meant the world to him, especially since he had a secret crush on you, and hearing you talk to him about finding his person just made him think of you. He wanted you to be his person, he wanted to explore these things with you.   

“I think I just might,” you grinned. 

“Thanks for that though. You always know how to make me feel better, I don’t know how you do it, but you always say the right things every time,” he said, shaking your shoulder and looking down at you.

Before you could say something, you heard a piercing shriek come from behind you. Both of you jumped in your seat and turned around and saw Audrey speed-walking towards you both with a fearful look on her face. “Joe!” she screamed. “Why the hell are you out here with her?”.

“Uh oh,” you said as you turned back around, watching Joe quickly switch the cart from park to drive. “What are you doing?”.

“Getting us the hell out of here,” he nodded as he turned the steering wheel and floored the cart. 

He told you to hang on as he tried to get away from her as fast as he could, which was pretty fast because you were practically zooming down the beach and Audrey’s figure quickly faded into the background.

“Oh my god,” you screamed as you hit a bump on the sand that nearly caused you two to spin out, the adrenaline rush keeping you from making him stop the cart.

“Hold on,” Joe yelled as he quickly made a turn onto one of the streets that led down to the main road, your hands clutching onto his arm as you pulled yourself closer to him.

“Joeeee, slow down,” you laughed as you tightly held onto his body, the force of the cart & wind giving you whiplash.

End of flashback 

“I can’t believe she snitched on us for stealing the cart because we drove off,” you laughed. 

“I remember seeing steam practically coming off of her face when she was walking towards us. Scary sight,” he said, bumping into your shoulder as he drove you two along the path. 

“The latter half of the trip after she left was pretty enjoyable though,” you said as you propped your feet up on the dash of the cart.

“Very. I still can’t believe you threw up in my hat after we rode the slingshot,” he chuckled as he placed his arm around your shoulder.

“Please don’t remind me of that ever again. That was so embarrassing,” you said as remembered the grotesque memory and hid your face in his chest.

Joe pressed a kiss to your head before changing the subject, “Okay, I won’t make you relive that but we should really go back there this off-season. Just the two of us though,”.

“I’d love to, we made some pretty great memories on that trip together,” you said as you pressed yourself closer to him.

“This time, make sure to not eat a soft pretzel and funnel cake before getting on the slingshot,” he warned you.

“You got it,” you saluted. “I can’t believe this is my first off-season with you,” the river trail getting closer to you both as you continued talking. 

“What do you mean? I usually spent a lot of time with you in previous off-seasons,” he said. 

“I know, but I mean this is my first one as your girlfriend,” you say, playfully poking his shoulder. “I get to do a lot more with you now,” you beamed.

“Oh yeah?” he smirked. “Like what?” he said, wiggling his eyebrows, his words laced with mischief. 

“Ohhh I don’t know, maybe watch some movies, teach you how to cook some more, swim in the pool, amongst other things,” you tease.

“What are the other things?” he said as you made it down to the trail, now driving alongside the river.

“I guess you’ll just have to find out when the time comes,” you winked.

“Such a tease,” he shook his head before slowing down once you reached the rocks that you two would sit on by the water when you came down here.

Joe switched off the golf cart before hopping out and helping you out, then carefully led you down to the rocks–making sure you didn’t almost fall like how you did the first time–and then sat you down on a rock he deemed stable and secure and then plopped down on a rock next to you. 

“This is nice,” he said, letting out a relaxed sigh as he watched the sunset.

“What is?” you laughed as you looked over at him.

“Doing stuff like this with you. Everything just feels so easy with us…like I don��t have to jump through hoops to make this work,” he said, looking over at you and seeing how the cool January breeze made your nose red. “I don’t think I’ve ever been this happy and at peace in my life,”. 

“I’m glad you’re happy, Joe,” you grinned as you pulled your sweatshirt sleeves out to cover your chilled hands. “You deserve it,”.

“Are you cold?” he asked as he sat up.

“A l- little,” you mumbled as you felt a chill run up your spine.

“Here,” Joe said as he opened up his legs and scooched back. “Come sit with me,” he said, pointing at the space between his legs. 

You smiled and got up, carefully moving over to where he was, and sat down between his legs. His arms instantly wrapped around your waist as he pulled you back into his chest, his body warmth quickly heating you up. 

“Mmm, you’re so warm,” you hummed as you rested your head against his shoulder and turned your head to press a kiss to his fragrant neck; the smell of his gentle cologne filling your nostrils.  

“Are you happy?” Joe asked as he continued to stare out at the water, his grip on you tightening. 

You were quiet for a few seconds before speaking up, “Of course I’m happy, this is all I’ve ever wanted. You’ve all I’ve ever wanted. And now I have it and it’s even better than imagined. It quite literally can’t get better than this,” you smiled up at him. 

“I’m glad. It’s not just me who deserves it, we deserve it,” he beamed as he leaned down to kiss you. 

After holding the kiss for a few seconds, you both pull away and look ahead at the slowing descending sun, the sky getting darker as the moments go by. “You excited for the first playoff game tomorrow?” you asked him as you placed your hand on top of his. 

“Excited, prepared, a little nervous,” he sighed as he laced his fingers with yours. 

“You’re going to do great, I have full confidence in you and the guys,” you told him. “You’ve been playing really really well recently and I know that tomorrow's game is going to be good,”.

“I hope so,” he nodded before looking down at you, an idea coming into his head. “Hey, you should come down to the sidelines before the game so I can see you,”.

“What? In front of everyone?” you asked as you felt a little nervous at the thought of being down there in front of everyone, usually a spot that was reserved for the family of the players. 

“Yeah, why not? You’re my girlfriend and girlfriends get to come to the sidelines along with other immediate family if they want to,” he smiled. “Besides, only a matter of time before the fans figure out that we’re together which would confirm their already established theories,” he giggled. “And I need my good luck kiss,” he sneaked in.

You let out a soft laugh, “Okay, I’ll be there,”. You always supported Joe when it came to football, even if it was from a distance; but now it was time for you to be front and center.

“Wear some of your peach lip gloss too,” he mumbled as he kissed your cheek. 

“That’s your favorite I assume?” you asked.

“Mhmmm,” he hummed as he kissed your cheek again. “Although, watermelon might give it a run for its money. We may have to test it out some more,”.

“Deal,” you grinned. “Just promise me you’ll win the game,”.

“I promise,” he nodded. “I’m going to win the game and then I’m going to take you out for dinner after,” he added.

“Won’t you be tired though?” you furrow your brows. 

“Probably, but that’s fine. If anything we can just bring it back to the house and stuff our faces with delicious food while sitting on the couch in our jammies and watching the latest episode of Love Island so you don’t miss it,” he smiled. 

“I like youu,” you grinned like a little kid at his tempting words.

“Guess what?” he asked you. 

“What?”.

“I like you too,” he whispered into your ear as he found himself remembering a similar moment like this from a few years ago. 

Flashback to LSU – 2019 (in the same flashback period as the 2019 LSU flashback from part 1 & post-breakup with your ex jake)

Today was the day.

Today was the day Joe was going to tell you how he felt about you.

You had flown in early yesterday morning and had surprised him last night at his game and were staying in Baton Rouge for 3 more days. Joe made it his mission to come clean about his feelings within these 3 days, hopefully today so that he could get it over with. He just couldn’t keep it in anymore. He thought about you every single day and being away from you killed him, especially because he had absolutely 0 idea what was going on in your life (or who was in it) when he wasn’t physically with you. You could only talk about so much over Facetime, 90% of the time not talking about your relationships since neither of you liked to travel into that territory with each other because of how you felt about each other even though you both were incredibly curious about that subject. 

He needed to tell you how he felt before it was too late (preferably before another guy came along), even if you didn’t feel the same way. Those feelings he’d been keeping to himself for years were eating away at him and he could only hold on to them for so much longer. You told him yesterday that you and your now ex-boyfriend Jake had broken up but you weren’t dwelling on it because you hadn’t been together for that long and you were too excited to see Joe to feel bad about the breakup. Joe still felt a bit weird about coming to you with his feelings as you just got out of a relationship but he also just couldn’t keep it in anymore, he was basically a ticking time bomb. He was going to tell you this time, no matter what it took.

This morning Joe brought you and his parents to one of his favorite breakfast spots downtown. You were busy having a conversation with his Mom and Dad about your Thanksgiving plans since it was only a few weeks away while Joe was sitting next to you in the booth picking away at a thumbnail as he couldn’t be more uninterested in the conversation. The only person he wanted to talk to was you, and the only thing he wanted to talk about was his feelings. 

“Ooo, Jimmy look at that,” Robin said as she pointed across the street through the window at your booth. She was pointing over at what looked like a local artist selling paintings of the LSU football team as well as some custom merchandise.

“We should go check it out. I think we have room for a few more paintings around the house,” Jimmy smiled as he got up from the booth and helped Robin up. Both of them excitedly rush to the door and make their way across the street without saying a word to you and Joe, causing you both to laugh. 

“I don’t even know how many paintings or wall pieces they have up in the house anymore. It’s like every time I go back a new one spawns out of nowhere,” Joe shook his head. 

“You’re their golden baby,” you said while rubbing his shoulder. “Embrace it,” you said softly as you placed your chin on it, your lips just inches from his face. 

“I think if I embrace it even more than I already have, I’m going to explode,” he joked as he felt his heart pounding because of how close you were to him.

“Hey, maybe in 15-20 years we can open a Burrow Museum? Get all of the paintings in there, your awards from High School, your eventual Natty and Heisman that you’ll be getting in about 3 months, your future Super Bowl trophies, rings, and MVP awards,” you smiled when you moved away, noticing how his cheeks turned redder while you continued talking.

“Okay, let’s not get ahead of ourselves about the awards and championships,” Joe said while running his hands through his hair. “I’m not even sure if I’ll be getting any of that stuff,”.

“Please,” you scoffed. “I beg to differ,”.

“Anywayy,” Joe changed the subject before you went on another rant about how you thought he was the best college football player in the league and was going to become the top NFL prospect in the next few months. He appreciated when you praised him like this, it meant the world to him especially since it was coming from you, but he also didn’t want to look too far ahead into a future he had no control of. 

He turned a bit more in his seat to face you, taking note of how adorable you looked wearing one of his LSU football shirts which was a few sizes too big on you, your hair in a messy bun, and your beautiful natural face on display. “How are you doing about the whole Jake thing? I didn’t get a chance to talk to you about it and just wanted to know if you were doing okay with it,”. 

You paused for a few seconds, both of you inching into territory that you usually avoided. “I’m fine,” you reassured him. “I kinda saw it coming and came to terms with it a while ago. And you were right, he’s 100% Mr. Lovebombing,”.

“Y/N, I wasn’t being serious when I said that,” Joe said, his smile dropping a bit because he knew how awful it felt to feel that way in a relationship. 

“No, you were right though. One second he was all over me and telling me how I’m his world, the next he was doing anything and everything to dodge having a conversation with me and refused to see me,” you rolled your eyes. “I’m glad I’m done with that BS,”. You honestly weren’t that affected by the breakup as you’d been through much worse many times before. You were too busy looking forward to seeing Joe after 5 long months to think about Jake. 

You both remained silent, Joe not knowing how to go about this since if he confessed his feelings after you said that, it would seem weird and almost selfish. “But enough about me and my sad dating life, what about you? Any girls I should be warned about?” you painfully laughed, not wanting to hear him say ‘yes, there is a girl’. 

He cleared his throat while glancing around the room before meeting your eyes, his palms getting sweaty because he knew that this conversation could lead to him telling you how he truly felt about you. “Uhh, not really. I’ve just been focused on football,” he nodded.

“That’s great,” you smiled, mentally doing a little dance because he didn’t have any other girl in his life but then stopping once you realized how weird that could have sounded. “Uh, I mean. That’s good because you’re focusing on football, not because you don’t have a girlfriend. That sucks,” you blabbed as you scrambled to make it sound better. 

“It’s okay,” he laughed. “I know what you mean,”. 

“Here we go, Joe. Just tell her. It’s the perfect opportunity. It’s not weird or wrong for you to tell her how you feel, and you know how much she appreciates honesty,” Joe thought to himself.

It honestly was the perfect opportunity, his parents weren’t around, and you reassured him that you weren’t bothered by your breakup so it wasn’t like he was pushing you, and it wasn’t out of the blue since you were talking about things related to that subject.

He just had to say it; those 3 words he’d been eager to say since he met you all those years ago. It couldn’t be that difficult to say it, could it? 

“We really have the worst luck when it comes to dating. I mean, why is every person we end up dating such an asshole?” you complained while taking a sip of your orange juice. “Like hello? Universe? What did we do to you?”. 

“Y/N, I have something to tell you,” Joe said while looking over at you, his tone of voice and the look in his eyes changing from playful to serious all of a sudden. 

You placed your glass down, “What is it? Is everything alright?” you asked as you placed your hand on his that was resting on the table. 

“Everything’s fine,” he laughed. “It’s more than fine. It’s just I-,”.

“We’re back!” Robin interrupted as she placed a few bags on the table, your hand quickly moving away from Joe’s. 

“Y/N, we got you a few sweatshirts we thought you might like,” Jimmy smiled as he pulled them out of the bag while Robin pulled out some of the artwork they picked up to show you. 

“Are you serious,” Joe thought to himself as he watched you get distracted by his parents, all of you once again in a conversation while he just sat there and watched. 

“It’s okay, Joe. Just tell her once you're back at your apartment, you have time. Mom and Dad won’t be there,” He thought to himself as he watched your face light up when you saw the artwork that had Joe front in center, your eyes then meeting his with a proud smile. 

A few hours later – Joe’s LSU apartment 

“Your apartment is so comfy,” you giggled as you sat down on the couch across from Joe.

“So it’s not giving Man Cave or Bachelor Pad vibes?” Joe said while pulling your feet into his lap.

“Nope. It’s giving I have a best friend who has excellent taste in decor and she doesn’t mind ordering nice stuff for my apartment,” you winked. 

“I’m a lucky guy,” Joe said, squeezing your foot.

“That you are,” you replied, leaning your head back against the couch cushion and closing your eyes. “I wouldn’t do this for anyone else,”. 

Joe looked at you for a few quiet moments, his heartbeat picking up once again as he found himself thinking about his feelings towards you. This was the perfect moment to tell you how he felt, it was just the two of you. No distractions, interruptions, or oblivious parents in the way.  

“Hey, can I talk to you about something for a second,” Joe said, breaking the silence and causing you to open your eyes and look up. 

“Yeah, of course,” you smiled at him as you moved a few strands of hair out from your face.  

“Okay, come on Joe. Just tell her,” Joe’s subconscious said to him. “It’s just 3 words. 

I. Like. You.

Just say it,”. 

He took a deep breath to calm his nerves, but just before he could open his mouth you both were interrupted by a knock on the front door. 

You turned your head back to look at the door, “I got it,” you said, glancing over at Joe before getting up from the couch. You unlocked the door and opened it, the person standing on the doorstep making your face light up, but Joe’s face drop. 

“Ahh, there’s my favorite Ohio-an. Damn, I missed you Girl,” Ja’marr said as he stepped inside Joe’s apartment and pulled you in for a hug.

“Are you kidding me? Why does everyone keep interrupting us?” Joe thought to himself while rolling his eyes. 

“Missed you too, Ja’marr,” you laughed as you gave him a gentle squeeze before pulling away. “How’s Claire?”. 

“You mean Samantha?” Joe said as he stood up, a little upset because he interrupted you two, prompting both of you to look back at him because of his bitter tone. Joe was a little more than a little pissed off right now. This was the best chance to tell you how he felt since you were fully alone this time, but the universe (or Ja’marr) clearly had other plans. “Or was it Laila?” he huffed out. “I can’t remember. Might be because Ja’marr over here can’t ever keep it in his pants and feels the need to-,”.

“Aye, what’s your deal,” Ja’marr scoffed.

“My deal is that you just-,” Joe started to say as he stepped closer before you interrupted him. 

“Okay! I’m not in the mood to deal with two caveman football players right now,” you reprimanded them. “Ja’marr, let’s go over to the kitchen and get some drinks. Joe, go take a breather or something,” you said, sending him an intense look.

“I just-,”.

“Joe,” you said, sending him another look that he easily understood before he let out a loud sigh and walked past you and Ja’marr to the porch outside his apartment.

“What’s his problem?” Ja’marr shrugged as he followed you into the kitchen.

“Don’t ask me. He’s your best friend,” you laughed as you opened up Joe’s fridge.

“Uhh, he was your best friend first,” Ja’marr pointed out. 

“Hm, touché,” you smiled while pulling out 3 cans of soda. 

Meanwhile, Joe was standing outside the apartment, his heart getting more and more tired from having to wait to tell you how he felt. It’s like every time he opened his mouth to say something, the universe sent something to stop him. 

Was it the universe that was trying to stop him? But why would the universe be doing that? 

“What the fuck,” Joe sighed as he leaned against the wall and dropped his head. “Why is this so hard,”. 

“No, don’t give up Joe. The universe isn’t doing anything, you just have bad timing. You’ll find time to talk to her. You still have the rest of the day. Just breathe,” his subconscious said. 

So that’s what he did. He took a deep breath, walked back inside, apologized for his attitude, and went about the rest of the afternoon like he didn’t have something poking away at him until Ja’marr left. 

Now, you were finally alone again. You were in his bathroom freshening up and Joe was sitting on his bed, anxiously playing with his wristbands and waiting for you to come out so you could talk. He heard the door open and immediately looked up and saw you stepping out from the steamy bathroom in just a plain white towel, your wet hair falling against your shoulders.

“Sorry, I left my clothes on your nightstand,” you blushed as you walked over to the nightstand next to his bed. 

“Y- You’re good,” Joe gulped, his heart skipping a beat or two while watching you walk around his bedroom in just a towel. 

“I’m almost done and then you can go shower,” you gave him a thumbs up before going back into the bathroom and closing the door again. Joe nodded and then let out the breath he was holding in and cracked his neck, relieving some built-up tension you were creating for him. 

“She’s driving me insane in the best way possible,” Joe thought to himself. You were the only girl who could get him to feel like this, and that should be enough to validate his feelings for you. 

A few minutes later, you came back out in a white short skirt and black tank top, both of which were showing off a little too much skin for Joe’s liking but also making him even more attracted to you than he already was. 

“How do I look?” you asked as you gave him a twirl.

“You look..great,” he smiled (deep down wanting to say that you looked incredibly sexy) as you walked over to your suitcase and pulled out a pair of black-heeled boots. “But don’t you think it’s a little…”.

“Skimpy?” you chuckled. 

“I mean, I guess,” he said while scratching his neck. “It’s just that a lot of dudes around here have wandering eyes and well…”. 

“I’ll be fine. I’ll just pretend you’re my boyfriend,” you stuck your tongue out and teased, his heart stopping for a second because of the word ‘boyfriend’. “Their eyes will be focused on your fists instead of my ass if I call your name,”. 

“That’s…probably true,” he shrugged while he watched you zip your boots up. Nobody wanted to mess with the LSU star quarterback, and surely nobody wanted to mess with his girl. 

“Nice song choice by the way,” you pointed out, humming along to ‘Be My Baby’ by The Ronettes. 

Joe didn’t even realize what song had come on because he was too lost in thought to pay attention to what was going on around him. The fact that the song was about an instant love connection and the girl pining for a particular man was ironic considering it mirrored his situation except the roles were reversed and he was pining for the girl. 

“Our playlist as usual,” he winked, you sent him a warm smile in return. "It's nice to actually listen to it with you here,".

"It doesn't hit the same when we're listening to it alone, does it?" you asked.

"Nope, not even close," he shook his head.

“Check out my new boots,” you said while giving him another twirl, this one was a little unbalanced given that the boots were new and the heel was a little bigger than normal for you. 

“Woah, be careful,” Joe warned as he noticed you almost losing your balance. 

“I’m fineeee,” you twirled again, this time moving closer to Joe who was sitting on the bed. “Shit,” you yelped as the heel got caught in the carpet which caused you to trip, your body crashing down on Joe’s, sending him back against the bed and lying flat with you on top of him. 

“Oops,” you giggled as you lifted your face from Joe’s neck, his arms holding you in place as they were wrapped around your back, your chest pushed up against his, and your legs almost straddling him. 

“See what happens when you wear heels too big?” Joe laughed as he tried to stay calm over the fact that you were on top of him right now. “I thought you would’ve known better considering what happened on your 21st birthday,”.

“Crashed right into the waiter holding a platter filled with shots of Tequila,” you shook your head at the embarrassing memory and looked down on Joe his eyes stuck on your face as if he was lost in thought–which he was.

Once again, Joe was thinking about what he had been wanting to tell you all day. The feeling was only getting stronger as the moments passed by with you, and it was driving him insane. 

“What?” you laughed as you moved his hair out of his eyes, noticing the look in his eyes.

He didn’t say anything and just continued to stare into your eyes, his breathing getting deeper and his heartbeat getting louder. You looked absolutely gorgeous right now and all he wanted to do was kiss your pretty pink lips and forget about everything else around him, but he couldn’t do that until he said those three words to you.

“Joe, what’s wrong?” you said again, this time a little more seriously. 

“Y/N, I-,” he started to say before his phone interrupted you both. 

“I swear to god,” Joe thought to himself as he pulled out his phone from his pocket, his face going from cheery to irritated.

“Who is it?” you asked.

“Justin and Ja’marr. They said they’re hitting up the bar with some friends and asked if we wanted to come with them,” he sighed. 

“But what about dinner? I know you were excited to take me to that new Mexican place,” you pouted. 

“We can go with them if you want. I know you missed seeing everyone and I don’t want to keep you from them. We can grab dinner tomorrow,” he nodded. 

“Are you sure?” you asked as you slowly got off of him and sat down on the bed next to him once he got up. 

“Yeah,” he smiled at you. “I’m just going to take a quick shower and then we can head out,”.

“Okay,” you said while absentmindedly rubbing his hand which sent electric jolts throughout his body. 

He looked down at your hands, you quickly move it away once you realize what you were doing. “S- Sorry,” you blushed, your cheeks heating up as your stomach did a backflip.

“It’s alright,” Joe smiled, placing his hand on yours and giving it a gentle squeeze. 

Joe got up from the bed and grabbed a few things before going into the bathroom, stopping at the sink mirror and staring at himself for a few heartbeats. “Why can’t I just say it,” he whispered to himself.

Were these constant interruptions really from the Universe? It was starting to feel like they were and it was a sign telling him not to tell you, almost like a cue that he should let it happen naturally. 

“Naturally?” Joe whispered to himself. 

“Don’t force it, Joe. If you keep getting interrupted, this might be a sign that you shouldn’t force things between the two of you. This could screw things up with her but if you let everything fall into place on its own you might save this from crashing and burning,” his subconscious mind said. 

Maybe his subconscious mind was right. Maybe he just needed the world to give him the green light. These interruptions were the yellow lights warning him that if he told you how he felt, he might be facing a red light. If you didn’t feel the same way about him your friendship could be ruined and he didn’t ever want that to happen, so waiting might be the best way to go. If you were to bring it up, then he would tell you. But until then, he decided to not mention it again even if it was killing him internally. 

Joe never would have thought a girl could ever drive him so insane. You had the keys to him, the only person who could access his heart and the most intimate parts of him. So much of him depended on you; his happiness, his sanity, his mood. When you smiled, he smiled. When you shined, he shined for you. Your laughter was the best sound he had ever heard and he wanted to hear it for the rest of his life. Every time you talked, he couldn’t focus because all he thought about was how you two should be together. When he sat and watched you break down, he wanted to hold you and tell you that he was never going to leave you like the others did. When you would jump and fall, he wanted you to fall into him. He was all in for you, and he needed you to know it. But maybe the Universe was trying to prevent him from ruining what you two already had. 

Joe looked at himself in the mirror before letting out another exhausted sigh and dropping his face, “What are you doing to me, Y/N,” he whispered to himself before heading into the shower. 

A little later, Joe was freshly showered and had a clear mind for the first time all day and was lacing his shoelaces while you were laser-focused on the episode of SpongeBob that was playing on his TV, almost like you were caught in a trance.

He got up from the bed and grabbed his wallet and phone, slipping both into his pocket before looking over at you. “Y/N, we’re gonna be late,” he softly laughed.

“Shhh, it’s the hash-slinging slasher episode,” you said as you waved him off. 

Joe should have known better to put an episode of SpongeBob on in front of you. You would practically stay glued to the TV until the episode ended, maybe not even getting up after that because you would stay seated for the next episode. This was something you both had in common, no matter how old you two got SpongeBob would be a staple for the two of you. He always admired how you shared some of the same childish interests as him, no other girl being able to match his personality unlike you. 

Joe turned around and grabbed the TV remote, switched the TV off, and then walked in front of the screen and saw your upset face.

“Hey,” you grumbled, crossing your arms like a little child in annoyance. 

“We can finish it later, I promise,” he said, extending his hand out for you to grab and stand up. You stared at him for a few moments, not budging from your seat.

“You know I never break my promises,” Joe lightheartedly added, giving you a charming smile that warms your heart. It was true, he never broke any of the promises he made you. Wether it was sweet and silly like promising to buy you ice cream and call you after his games or serious like promising to never lose the connection you two had once he moved down to Louisiana for football; he always kept them. 

“You do have an excellent track record of living up to your word,” you smiled as you placed your hand in his. 

“And I intend to keep it going,” he said as he pulled you up from the bed.

About 20 minutes later, you made it to the bar and were walking towards the entrance. The loud music vibrated throughout the entire block and the strobe lights peeked through onto the street. “College bars are something else,” you laughed as you looked over at Joe, who was once again seemingly lost in thought. 

“Hey, you alright?” you asked him as you stopped walking, Joe not noticing until a few seconds later and then backtracking to you.

“Yeah, I’m good,” he nodded, his tone and demeanor not reassuring you that he was. 

“Joe, I know you too well to know when something is bugging you. You’ve been lost in a trance at least 4 times today and that’s way more than usual for you,” you said.

“She noticed? She noticed me lost in thought because I was thinking about her?” he thought to himself. 

“Are you bored? Am I boring you?” you giggled. 

“No, No. God, No,” he quickly shut that thought down. 

“Then what is it?” you questioned. 

“It’s nothing,” he brushed off, his secretiveness not sitting well with you. 

“Wait. You’ve been wanting to talk to me about something all day but we kept getting interrupted,” you said as you looked up at him. 

“Yeah..” he slowly nodded, his heartbeat picking up again because of where this was going.

“That’s what’s bothering you, Obviously,” you realized as you smacked your head. “And I kept forgetting that you needed to talk,”.

“It’s not a big deal Y/N,” he nervously laughed as he glanced around and refused to meet your eyes.

“Uhh, yes it is,” you said, moving your head so that his eyes met yours. “We always talk about important things with each other and I don’t want that to stop because of silly interruptions. So before we go with the others and end up getting super trashed and wasted, we should talk. What was it? What did you want to talk about all day?” you said while staring deeply into his eyes which looked like they were hiding something. 

Joe paused for a few seconds, his brain freezing just like his face. This was it. This was his chance to tell you what he had been feeling for years. He could finally tell you how much he liked you which was way more than the normal amount. You were it for him, and now he finally got you alone to tell you.

“This is it, Joe. This is what you’ve been waiting for. Tell her how much you like her and get your girl,” his mind was saying. “This is the universe letting it happen naturally. She brought it up this time, not you,”. 

“I-.....” he opened up his mouth, nothing coming out. 

“What is it?” you nervously chuckled while brushing your fingers over his hand. 

He paused for a few seconds, his heartbreaking before the words came out of his mouth. 

This time instead of his mind and subconscious, his heart spoke up. “It’s not the time,”.

“Never mind,” he forcefully smiled. “It’s not important,”. 

End of flashback 

It was so hard for him to say it to you back then but now it was like a reflex, he almost had a hard time stopping himself from saying it. 

“I love our life,” you giggled as you felt Joe smother you with kisses. 

“And I love you,” he smiled against your cheek. “More than anything in the world,”.

“Even more than you love Pumpkin Pie?”.

“Even more than I love Pumpkin Pie, my Looney Tunes sweatshirt, my gray jeans, and Football,” he said while giving you a loving squeeze.

“Wow, that’s a lot of love,” you raised your eyebrows. All 4 of those are things Joe couldn’t live without.  

“You sound surprised,” Joe laughed. “You’ve had me down bad for you since the first time I saw you,”. 

“Shut up,” you laughed as you turned your head to kiss his cheeks which were turning a little pink because of the cold weather.  “You should probably be getting ready to go to the team hotel,” you said as you looked down at your watch. 

“Mmmm,” he whined as he pulled you closer.

“I know, I know. But they’re going to send out a search party if you don’t make report time,” you giggled as you gently got out of his embrace and stood up, reaching out and pulling him up. “And I should probably head back to my place and get some sleep for tomorrow,”.

Joe looked up at you like you had two heads, the look on his face matching how he felt. “Back to your place? Just stay here,”. 

“At your house? Alone?” you questioned. You hadn’t stayed over at Joe’s place alone before, and truth be told it felt a little weird being there all by yourself even though you were literally moving in with him next month. 

“Correction, our house. And yeah, you’re moving in next month so why not?” he said as he reached out for your hand, helping you up the rocks and back to the trail where the golf cart was parked. It was weird for him to refer to his house as your house as well, the thought not registering in your brain yet.  

“It’s so weird to hear that,” you laughed. 

“Why? Am I that terrible to live with,” Joe said as he slid into the driver's seat.

“The worst,” you grumbled, sliding into the seat next to him with a cheeky grin on your face. 

“Ha Ha, very funny,” he said in the most monotone voice possible. 

“I’m just messing with you,” you said while running your fingers along his arm. “It’s just weird because I would have never expected to hear those words..our house,” you said. “It’s like a fairytale,” you said as you looked at the growing smile on Joe’s face, the smile that would take you to another planet. 

“Things change pretty quickly, don’t they?” he said as he glanced at you. 

“Very quickly,” you said as you leaned your head against his shoulder as he turned on the golf cart and started driving you both back up to the house. “But I'm also very glad they did,”.

“Me too,” he grinned. Joe was truly the happiest he’d ever been in his life at this moment, and it was all because of you. 

A Half-Hour Later 

“Did you get everything you need?” you asked Joe as you spun around on the kitchen barstool you were seated on. 

“Yeah, but I’m still going to come by tomorrow morning so I don’t have a ton to take with me right now,” he smiled as he placed his duffle bag down. 

“You’re not going straight to the stadium?” you asked as you took a bite of the brownies you had made earlier. 

“Nah. I’m gonna come by and then we can drive over together,” he smiled while walking over and grabbing a brownie from the pan. 

“Hmm, I don’t think you’re supposed to be eating that right now,” you said, grabbing his wrist. 

“One brownie won’t hurt,” Joe said, transferring the brownie to his other hand and taking a bite.

“Sweet treats can wait until after the game tomorrow,” you shook your head.

“Oh, trust me. I’ll be getting a sweet treat then too,” he winked at you before moving over to grab his water bottle from the counter.

“Focus, Joe. Focus,” you laughed as you placed your elbows on the kitchen island and your face in your hands, intensely staring at your boyfriend's muscular arms and then his dirty blonde curls that were being controlled by his backward cap.

“What’re you looking at?” Joe asked as he caught your gaze on him.  

“Just admiring you, like usual,” you smiled. 

“Admiring anything in particular?” he asked, placing his elbows down and mirroring your position. 

“Hmm, just your deliciously impressive biceps and your easily pullable hair,” you said as you gave him a heated look. 

“I should get going before this ends up going somewhere else,” he said as he stood up straight. 

“Probably a good idea,” you grinned as you slid off the barstool and walked over to the fridge, pulling out a container of some pumpkin bites you made with the brownies earlier.

“I thought you said no sweet treats?” he said while examining the continents of the container. 

“Well, there’s always a loophole for everything,” you shrugged. “These are healthy pumpkin energy bites. All the goodness of normal pumpkin bites but with healthier add-ins and ingredients,”. 

“You made these just for me?” he grinned as he took the box over to his duffle bag, then carefully placed it inside.

“Mhmmm,” you skip over to him and say. “You can eat them tonight or tomorrow morning. Up to you,”.

“Thank youu,” he said, grabbing your wrist and quickly pulling you into him causing you to bump your head against his chest.

“Mm, Hi,” you quietly laughed as you loop your arms around his neck and look up at him, his arms settling around your lower back with his hands firmly placed on your butt. 

“Hi,” he grinned while nuzzling his nose against yours before leaning in to kiss you, both of you relishing the taste of the chocolate from the brownies on each other’s lips. The kiss quickly became more intense as his hands started sliding up and down your body and the heat between you two increased from how close your bodies were to each other.

“Okay,” you panted while pulling away from the kiss, a dazed smile on your face.

“Focus. We need to focus,” he cutely nodded. 

“I gotta get you out of here,” you laughed while stuffing your face into his neck. 

“I’ll get myself out of here. No need to lift a finger,” he smiled while pressing a kiss to your head. “You just stay here and be Queen of the house,”.

“Bow to my throne you worthless peasant,” you teased in a silly voice.

“Damn, it’s already going to your head,” he raised his eyebrows. 

“I’ll have a crown and a butler by the time you’re back tomorrow morning,” you winked. 

“Okay,” he laughed. “But seriously, act like the Queen. Make yourself at home, this is all yours just as much as it is mine. You can go in any room, sit anywhere, re-arrange my things, do whatever. It’s all yours,”.

“So you don’t care if I sit naked in your office and re-watch hours of game tape of you looking sexy as hell while throwing a football?” you joked while wiggling your eyebrows.

“Nope,” he smiled. “Well, I do care about the naked in my office part. Maybe sit in there fully clothed and then we can do the naked bit after the game if you really want to,” he whispered in your ear. 

“You’re crazy,” you giggled as you looked lovingly into his starry blue eyes.

“Crazy about you,” he said before sealing the statement with a kiss. 

After a few more minutes of kissing and teasing each other, you were standing at the doorstep of the Garage and watching Joe put his stuff into the car. “Remember, call me if you need anything,” he said while opening the driver’s side door. 

“I will,” you smiled. 

“Okay,” he sighed as he quickly jogged over to you. “I’ll see you tomorrow morning. I love you,” he said before pressing a final kiss to your lips.

“I love you, my perfect boyfriend,” you said while pecking his lips and ruffling his hair.

You watched as he got into the car and backed out of the garage, then gave you a quick wave before closing it and driving off. You turned around and closed the door behind you, letting out a deep breath as you looked around the quiet house, a smile forming on your face once you realized that this was your house now too. You loved this house, you loved your life, and you loved Joe, you just loved everything. There was so much love inside of you for the first time in a long time, and Joe was the one who brought it out. 

An hour later 

You took a quick shower in Joe’s bathroom (now your’s as well) and were now inside the massive closet, searching for another comfy sweatshirt of his to steal. “Hmm, this one should do,” you giggled as you pulled out another one of his many Bengals hoodies and slipped it on, his scent still lingering on the fabric. “Mmm,” you hummed as you brought the collar to your nose.

You were about to walk out of the closet before something caught your eye in the corner, your curiosity spiking as you walked closer to the little stand that he used to keep his cufflinks for his suits, but that wasn’t what caught your eye. What caught your eye were the photos taped to the wall above the stand.

There were 3 photobooth film strips taped to the wall, all of which were of you and Joe. 

“He’s such a teenage girl,” you giggled to yourself as you ran your fingers along the strips. The first one was from when you both went and saw Avengers Infinity War at the movie theater on opening night together back during your Ohio State days–both of you were raging Marvel nerds. The second one was from the Bengals pre-season party from last year–another event he brought you to before you were dating. Both of the photo strips were tied to sweet and flavorful memories until your eyes went to the third photo strip. 

This one was from LSU.

Flashback to 2019 – LSU

“..He told me he loved me, and I thought he m- meant it,” you cried into Joe’s chest. “ Am- Am I not enough?” your voice cracked as the tears fell harder. 

“Y/N you are enough, don’t ever say that,” Joe said as he rubbed your back, pulling you in tighter as you were both sitting on the curb of the parking lot.

“Then why did he go to her? Why did he feel the need to-,” you sobbed, your eyes burning from the amount of tears that were pouring out from your eyes. “As soon as I leave, he goes to her,”. 

You were currently visiting Joe at LSU during your Spring Break and he had brought you to Snappy’s Arcade tonight which was one of his favorite places to go around town. You spent some time playing air hockey and skeeball, shooting some hoops, playing all the old classic arcade games, and even winning a few prizes along the way. You both hit the photo booth per Joe’s request as well, making countless silly poses and memories that would last a lifetime not only in picture form but also in your hearts. You always had the most fun when you were with Joe, all of your worries instantly disappearing once you heard his adorable laughter and saw his comforting smile. Everything was going great until you looked at your phone which was blowing up with messages from your friends, messages you wished you had never read. 

“It’s like he was planning it. The second I’m 14 hours away he pretends like he doesn’t have a girlfriend, washes everything we’d built over the past year down the drain, and goes and does that with her? Knowing how hard it took me to open up to him in the first place because of what happened last time,” you sputtered. “And it’s even more fucked up because he knew how excited I was to come down here and see you,”.

“Y/N…,” Joe said, his heart hurting as you cried harder into his chest. 

“It’s not enough. It’s never enough,” you interrupted, your body shaking as a result of the plethora of emotions you were feeling. “I’m never enough, not for anyone,”. 

Joe felt his heart sink seeing you like this, especially because of a guy. You didn’t deserve to feel like this; unwanted, unloved, not enough. He wanted to mend your broken heart by telling you how extraordinary you were and how you had someone in your life who loved you beyond words and could give you the same love you gave others, but he just couldn’t get himself to tell you the second part—not now. But he could tell you the first. 

“Hey, look at me,” he said as he cupped your cheek and lifted your head to meet his soft eyes. “You’re so much more than you think you are. Don’t ever let anyone make you feel like you’re not enough. You’re one of the most loving and special people I’ve ever known and you deserve to be treated the same way you treat others, with limitless love. If Ryan can’t do that for you, then screw him,” Joe said as he rubbed your back again to calm you down. 

“Y/N, you deserve the world and more. You’re going to find someone that can give it to you, I promise,” Joe said as he gazed deeply into your red eyes, telling you the same thing you told him a few years ago on that beach. He wanted to be the one that gave you the world, so badly. 

“You’re literally anyone’s dream girl. You’re kind, funny, selfless, beautiful, and can hold a conversation about anything from which flavor of Gatorade is the best to a conversation about Socrates, Plato, Aristotle, and Epistemology. You’re nerdy as hell but you're also the most football-involved girl I know, which shocked me when we first met considering most girls I know just like football for the eye candy. Anyway, you’ve got the looks, you’ve got the brain, you’ve got the personality, but most importantly you’ve got what’s in there.” he said as he pointed to your heart. “You have so much love inside of you. So much love to offer and show the world. You have it all. You’re more than enough,” he said. 

You looked into his deep blue eyes and could tell his words were genuine, he meant everything he said to you. His eyes always had a way of telling you things he couldn’t say with his mouth, and right now they were telling you many things. “Thank you,” you said as you stuffed your head back into his chest. “I swear you always know exactly what to say to me when I’m upset about something. It’s like you’re incapable of saying the wrong things, I don’t know what I’d do without you,”.

“You won’t have to worry about that. I’m always going to be in your corner,” he smiled as he moved you closer to him, both of you sitting on the curb in silence and just enjoying each other's warmth; his gentle touch soothing your worries. 

“Fruit Punch is the best by the way,” you spoke up a few moments later as you looked up at him.

“Hm?” he asked, a little confused by what you were talking about.

“Gatorade. Fruit Punch is the best,” you giggled.

“You’re insane. It’s obviously Lemon-Lime,” he shook his head as you laughed underneath him, the smile he loved to see coming back onto your face as your tears dried up. 

End of flashback 

You smiled at the end of the bittersweet memory, the one that would normally leave a sour taste in your mouth but didn’t because of Joe. He told you that you’d find someone who could give you the world, and he promised you this.

One thing about Joe, he always kept his promises. 

The person who could give you the world was under your nose the entire time and you had no idea. He was the one that wiped your tears every time you cried, he was the one that made you laugh until your stomach hurt, he was the one that always thought about you, he was the one that truly loved you. He promised you that you’d find that person who could give you the world, and you did.

Joe was the one that could give you the world.

—To be continued—

[yeowangies]

mutual understanding

Chapter I | Chapter II: Time for a little truth | III | IV | V

PAIRING: Kenpachi/AFAB!Reader CONTENTS: AU - Fantasy, Medieval, Royalty, Arranged Marriage, Misunderstandings, Miscommunication, Pining, Explicit Sexual Content in later chapters. WARNING FOR THIS CHAPTER: Mentions of mild blood and minor violence. WORDCOUNT: 3404

Summary:

Despite your first hand experience, it was getting difficult to admit to yourself that Kenpachi wasn’t actually as bad as he initially seemed. He was violent and obsessed with fighting, that was obvious and even more so when you started living there, but he had never treated you roughly. Not even a single word out of place towards you, less alone one threatening action. 

Notes:

I struggle writing this chapter a bit, confrontations are hard lmao but they are always necessary and i'm glad we can move on to sexier parts now!

Let me know if you wanna be tagged!

header by me, divider by @/saradika

taglist: @actuallysaiyan @lol-ktr @vrgelivvvv

The night was beautiful. It had been raining days prior, and you couldn’t wait to go for a walk in the garden that night. It was the only alone time you had, with no maids trailing behind your every move, not when they didn’t notice you sneaking off.

You rarely went past the trees signaling the limit of the palace. The forest was on the other side, and people rarely went too deep into it, knowing what kind of magical creatures existed was enough to ward anyone off. 

You only wanted to explore a little, not enter the woods completely, but as soon as you took two steps into it, something felt off. 

The first thing you heard was a distant howl, before a gust of air threw you down onto the ground. Your vision got blurry, heat covering your body as claws tightly held onto your arm, digging into your flesh. You couldn’t even scream, completely confused as to what was even happening, and who or what was even attacking you. Blood trickled down your arm, and that was when you could finally let out a shaky cry. 

Whatever was holding you suddenly dropped you, and you fell with your back against the dirt, breathing heavily as the world stopped spinning rapidly enough so you could open your eyes and focus. 

You gasped loudly at the sight above you; an enormous man with an eyepatch and a scar across his face standing in front of you, holding a sword. Half his face covered in blood, making your body shiver in fear.

You barely crawled away before feeling too weak to keep moving, heart beating fast inside your ribcage, and you kept your eyes on the man in front of you, holding onto what was left of your consciousness as you heard far away voices resonating around you.

“Captain Zaraki just saved a girl!”

“Was that a werewolf?!”

“That’s the princess!”

“We need to get her back to the castle!”

You woke up, feeling hot and sweaty under the blankets, gasping for air at the flashback you had for a dream. 

That was the day Kenpachi saved you, the day you met him for the first time. It was embarrassing to even remember, as you had been more afraid of him than you had been of the actual creature that had harmed you. Albeit you hadn’t actually seen the werewolf. You only found that Kenpachi had sliced him in two once you woke up a few days later and one of the maids informed you about it.

You still didn’t know what to think of that experience, only that it made your blood run cold at times.

It has been a couple of weeks since you had moved to the castle, and the days passed by easily. You didn’t feel as tense as the first few days, when you were still testing the waters of the place.

Yachiru was actually a good company, despite her short age. She was vivacious and gave you strength and hope with her every move. You even met Ikkaku and Yumichika one night while you took a walk through the gardens, and even though they weren’t as strong as Kenpachi (not that you cared, but they let you know the fact nonetheless), they were much easier to talk to than your husband was. 

Once Kenpachi had given you permission to reorganize the garden (his exact words were ‘do whatever you want’), you focused solely on that, and as the early weeks of fall began, the weeds and overgrown grass had been removed completely. You knew it was a bad time to start planting seeds; if the cold in the first few days didn’t kill the plants, the snow might do that job once winter arrived. But you couldn’t wait; it was the only thing that kept you occupied. 

As soon as you became more familiar with the castle, you realized there wasn’t a library or a banquet hall. Why would there be any of those rooms if Kenpachi did not seem like the type to enjoy those things? Nevertheless, you wanted to fix that, but in order to do that, you had to ask your husband about it, and you felt like you might be overstepping with such an expensive and ambitious project. The garden will have to be done for now, and once that part was done, you could move on to something bigger.

Yachiru was helping you a lot in her own way, spreading the seeds across the soil of the garden (and though you specifically told her not to mix them you knew she was doing it), and once you were done for the day, you headed back into the castle. 

“Are we gonna do that again tomorrow?” She asked cheerfully, running across the entrance. 

“Tomorrow we have another task for the garden, we have to water the soil, remember?” You said, looking at her with a smile. “We have to do that everyday, and hopefully flowers will bloom by spring!”

“We’ll have flowers by spring?” Yumichika asked, walking through the entrance along with Ikkaku. 

“I am planning for that, however it does depend on the weather, and how crude these colder months are.” You replied with a soft smile. “I have faith that they will bloom!”

“Flowers never really grew in that place,” Ikkaku commented, looking at the still brand new garden through the window. “It was always full of weed, nobody really cared for it.”

“My mission is to make this place nicer! Once the garden is done, I wish to create a ballroom!”

“You want a ballroom?” Kenpachi's deep voice resonated from behind you, making you jump. “Why?”

“Well… So people can come over…” You replied quietly, turning around to face him with unsure eyes. 

“Come over for what?” His frown got deeper and it only made you more nervous.

“For socializing! Dancing and eating, mostly.” You replied, confused and slightly irritated. “Is that not to your taste?”

“We never had dances!” Yachiru replied, loud and joyful. “I bet it’s super fun!”

It was your turn to frown when you heard him sigh like he was annoyed before he spoke. 

“I will never understand women.”

An uncomfortable feeling raised inside you, more rapidly than you expected when you noticed from the corner of your eye that Ikkaku was looking at the both of you with eyes wide open, and Yumichika had covered his face with his palm. 

Embarrassed and frustrated, you couldn’t contain it even if you tried. 

“And I do not understand you.” You spat, looking up at Kenpachi as if he wasn’t twice your size. “Are you going to deny this to me? It is your right to do so, but this would not even be an issue if we were not married. You could have vehemently said no to this union, even escape from it! So I might as well enquire why exactly did you accept it? I was the one who had no choice!”

You kept your eyes on his for a moment as he stared at you, wide eyed, as if you had sprouted another head.

Not interested in listening to whatever that could have been said, you ran out of the castle towards the garden.

*

Kenpachi stood there looking at you as you got smaller the further you ran, and was only brought back to the present time by Yachiru’s voice.

“Dumb Kenny.” Yachiru commented, way too loud for Kenpachi’s taste, but he only turned to look at her, confused and annoyed. She paid him no mind and only ran up down the hall towards the kitchen. 

“What in the hell…” He grunted, unsure of what to do. Under any circumstances, he would start a fight, but even he knew that was a terrible idea. 

“Captain,” Yumichika called for him, making Kenpachi turn to him. “With all due respect, you are an idiot.”

“What?” Kenpachi practically growled, but Yumichika went on despite the threatening tone. 

“This girl is alone here, with no friends, no one she can confide in, and you just made her feel more alienated than ever. She had no choice in coming here, and she cannot leave at her own free will either. I suggest you actually tell her the truth.” 

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“You have affection for her, don’t you?” Yumichika asked softly, not really expecting an answer. “Go talk to her and tell her the truth. She will say she doesn’t want to talk, but pay it no mind. She’ll want to know.”

“How do you even know that?” Ikkaku asked, arching an eyebrow. 

“I actually have the emotional range of a human being.” Yumichika rolled his eyes. 

“Shut up.” Kenpachi grumbled, pondering on the idea of actually telling you how he was feeling for a while before deciding it was the right thing to do. “Fine, whatever.”

Walking out the entrance and towards the garden, he tried to organize his thoughts. It wasn’t like he was a complete prick; he knew what could be insulting to say, he simply didn’t care for those things. But apparently you had been uncomfortable since the moment you’ve been declared husband and wife. 

Kenpachi hadn’t actually thought about anything regarding your life and feelings, simply because he hadn’t paid too much attention to details beyond what you had shown him. He had even let you have the bedroom all for yourself because he assumed you were terrified of him; the way you looked at him the first time you met spoke volumes. And even occasionally you seemed petrified whenever he was around, even after you’ve been in the castle for weeks. 

It had pissed him off to hear you talk about him behind his back the way you had, though it probably came from a place of fear rather than arrogance, no matter that you moved around like the princess you were. That lovely bit of confidence he saw in you when you still lived in the palace diminished terribly when you moved to his castle, or at least around him it did, and he wasn’t going to keep contributing to it. 

Out in the garden, Kenpachi spotted you underneath a tree, sitting on the ground with your knees to your chest. 

It was time for a little truth. 

“I do not wish to speak to you.” You said, voice shaky, as soon as you noticed he was nearby. 

Kenpachi didn’t get any closer, but he spoke, regardless of what you said. 

“Just shut up and listen.” He sentenced, making you turn your head slightly to the side, enough so he could see your glossy eyes. Trying to pay it no mind, he went on. “I know marrying me wasn’t your choice. I was greedy. I didn’t want to refuse that opportunity so I didn’t really put up a fight when your father told me to marry you, even when you made it clear that you think I’m a barbarian. I didn’t care.”

Your frown and sniffle distracted him momentarily, especially when your eyes kept avoiding his. You had turned to face him, but you weren’t actually looking at him at all. 

“I hate how you keep looking at me, like I’m going to kill you at any given chance.” Kenpachi admitted through gritted teeth. “I didn’t really think about how this marriage would affect you so if you wish to leave and go back to the palace, I’ll make it happen.”

He spared you one last glance at you before turning away, when it was clear you wouldn’t respond to his words. You seemed even smaller, and the way you briefly looked at him before he left made you look powerless. 

*

You stared at Kenpachi as he walked away, surprised and confused, trying to focus on one of the things that he said at a time. 

He was being greedy? About what, exactly? It wasn’t like was using the dowry money to expand his fief. He didn’t even want you to expand the castle at all. His greediness did not involve money, so why did he say that?

You didn’t think it was so noticeable how afraid of him you were, even if it was a fleeting feeling at times. You couldn’t help it; he was imposing and his constant aggressive expression made it impossible for you to see him differently. It had a lot to do with that night when you first met, when he saved you. He hasn’t been the one who hurt you, but your mind just couldn’t fully dissociate what actually happened with the bloodlust he had in his eyes when he looked at you. On top of it all, he heard you calling him a ‘barbarian’ when you were trying to talk your father out of this marriage. 

However, despite your first hand experience, it was getting difficult to admit to yourself that Kenpachi wasn’t actually as bad as he initially seemed. He was violent and obsessed with fighting, that was obvious and even more so when you started living there, but he had never treated you roughly. Not even a single word out of place towards you, less alone one threatening action. 

Not to mention the fact that he adopted a small girl he found in the woods, and the undying loyalty of his men revealed a lot about what kind of person he was. And he had even let you sleep by yourself every night since you got there, knowing your discomfort. 

Maybe it was time to make amends. 

Waiting for Kenpachi that night, you paced around in your nightgown, hoping he’d come to the room after dinner. He usually did even if he didn’t spend the night, so you were ready to talk to him once he got there. 

When the door opened, you looked at him, feeling slightly intimidated. He had the same hard expression he usually wears, but it was starting to feel natural to see him that way, so you immediately relaxed. 

“I do not wish to go back to the palace.” You started promptly once the door was closed. Kenpachi remained impassive, only keeping his eyes on you once he removed the eyepatch. You gulped before going on. “I’m very comfortable here. I have to confess, you’ve treated me more like a person than anyone else might have done before, and I’m very thankful for that. And I’m… sorry, too.”

It was hard to read him at all, he only stared at you without moving a single muscle on his face, but somehow that was helpful enough to keep you talking.

“You saved my life, and I judged you horribly, without even attempting to know you. I insulted you and hurt your pride, so I must ask for your forgiveness.” 

Looking down, you bowed at a ninety degree angle, staying still for a moment before returning to an upright position. You kept your eyes on the floor, waiting for him to say something, hopefully words of encouragement that would mean he accepted your apology, and that you could stay.

“You hurt my pride, huh?” Kenpachi’s gruff voice brought your eyes back up to meet his as he made his way towards you; it surprised you that he was smirking. “Is that what you think you did?”

“I think so… Weren’t my words insulting?”

“For reasons you’re not seeing.” He paused, eying you up and down quickly as his smirk faded. “I didn’t care that I was probably offending you when I accepted your hand. Your father threatened me with my past, saying he would hand me over to another kingdom for the nobles I’ve killed when I was a mercenary.”

Your eyes opened wide at his words. You knew your father was a politician and a strategist before even being a father, but you couldn’t believe your ears. It was startling, but not unrealistic, that he had basically sold you to a murderer. 

“But I couldn’t care less about that, he could have done it and I would have managed to get away anyway.” Kenpachi went on nonchalantly, looking to the side as if he hadn’t given any of the things he was saying a lot of thought. “The reason I ended up accepting your hand, the reason I was greedy, was you.”

“I don’t understand.” 

“Your father offered you to me on a silver plate in exchange for my loyalty, and I accepted, just because I wanted to have you.”

You stared at him, bewildered. 

Kenpachi wanted you? You had seen him for the first time that night you had been attacked in the woods, and you weren’t so vain as to think of yourself so charming that one look would suffice to capture a man’s heart, especially a man like Kenpachi, who seemed so ruthless and aggressive to even care about those kind of things. Even more so when you looked terrified at that moment.

If anything, you were sure that you couldn’t actually judge him based on his expressions if he was telling you he wanted you with such a stoic look. 

His eyes were on you for a while, obviously awaiting a reaction, but as moments passed by in silence, he turned to leave, at which point you decided to speak.

“Wait!” You called for him, and Kenpachi turned to look at you. “Please stay. We’re husband and wife, we should sleep in the same bed, yes?”

“Aren’t you afraid of me?” 

“I’m not-” Kenpachi snorted in disbelief, making you jolt in surprise. You slapped yourself mentally for the slip but went on. “I mean, I was, I won’t deny it! Nevertheless, you’ve been nothing but nice and considerate since I got here.”

His eyes stayed on you to the point where you started to feel self conscious, until he finally sighed and took long steps to approach you. 

Everything about Kenpachi was intimidating; it was inevitable due to his size and expression. But after everything he had told you that day, nothing inside you made you anxious about him. If anything, you could see features that you might consider attractive (not that you didn’t notice them before, but fear and trepidation always won those battles). There was a rugged charm about him. 

“You’re asking me to share a bed with you after everything I told you?” Kenpachi asked with a smirk. “Are you doing it on purpose?”

“You can do whatever you want with me, nothing I say could stop you,” You said, staring back at him, straining your neck in the process. “But you've been attentive enough to make me trust you.”

When his hand slid up your shoulder and into the hair in the back of your neck, it surprised you but not enough to make you react. You were curious about his intentions since he made it clear he desired you for a while. 

“You have a lot of confidence for a tiny woman,” Kenpachi’s grin only grew, making you smile in return. 

“It comes with the royalty title.” You shrugged. “It won’t change anytime soon.”

“I don’t want you to change.”

With a firm grip on your hair, Kenpachi leaned down and kissed you. You made a noise in surprise; he had practically pressed his face against yours, bumping your noses and roughly crashing your lips together. You held onto him, gripping the front of his shirt tightly, when he slid his tongue past your lips and into your mouth. 

You could barely keep your legs from collapsing as he tasted every corner and every inch of your cavity. His desperation for you was palpable, and it made you all the more dizzy. It was difficult to even keep up with him, you were reduced to trembling legs and occasional gasps that left your mouth as you ran out of air. 

If it wasn’t for the arm Kenpachi had slid around your waist, you would have fallen down once he pulled away. The lack of air had made you lightheaded, and your face felt impossibly hot. 

Were kisses supposed to feel that good?

“Another.” You demanded once you’ve caught your breath, gazing at him with pleading eyes as you ran your hands up his tunic to bring him down again. “I demand another.”

With his usual cocky smirk, Kenpachi leaned down to kiss your lips once more. This time a little slower and gentler, but still just as eager. 

[dragcnbreak]

AHHH THE AGE REGRESSION ONES R SO CUTE I NEED MORE!!!!! maybe one where reader is having like a breakdown/ptsd flashback which results in them regressing involuntarily and mike comforts them? could be headcanons or a fic idrc :3

IM SO GLAD PEOPLE GET THE CG MIKE VISION… here is my attempt at writing something along those lines!!! I hope u enjoy nonnie <3

◞♡࿐

The Schmidt household was practically a second home to you. You crashed on the couch more often than not and even had a drawer full of your things in Mike’s room for easy access. Your living situation was less than ideal and you felt more comfortable with Mike and Abby than anyone else so it just worked out.

That’s how you found yourself outside their door one morning, knowing it would be just Mike at the house as Abby had already left for school. You used your key and offered a shaky smile to the sleepy man on the couch. “Hey.” He says at first, taking a few seconds to look up at you. When he finally does, his eyes widen at the tears running down your cheeks and he rushes towards you.

“What’s wrong, honey?” Mike asks, using his thumb to wipe under your eyes. You don’t answer but instead, you start to sob loudly. He’s definitely awake now, all his attention on you. He helps you the best he can to the couch so you can sit down. The second he sits down with you, you fling yourself into his arms and continue your breakdown.

Mike is quick to hold you, rubbing your back softly and whispering soothing things like “it’ll be okay” and “I’ve got you”. It helps more than he knows and the both of you sit there for what seems like hours.

When you begin to quiet down, you detach yourself from him and rub at your eyes. “Are you feeling any better?” Mike asks you and you nod lazily, a sudden tiredness washing over you. “T’ank you, Mikey.” The slurring and the nickname alerts Mike to the fact that sometime during your crying session, you slipped into littlespace.

You didn’t age regress too often, specifically around Abby. But Mike was always more than happy to take care of you when you did, especially when you were sad. “Of course, baby,” he uses his favorite nickname for you when you’re in that headspace, “how about we get you something to eat and drink and then you go take a nap?” He continues.

You nod again, “m’kay.” The idea of eating doesn’t sound too bad and you know you need to stay hydrated, even more so after crying. Mike grabs the television remote and turns on Abby’s favorite channel with all the cartoons. He gives you a kiss on your forehead and then hurries to the kitchen.

He and Abby had just had breakfast so he heats up the remaining pancakes and bacon, periodically checking on you. He slathers the pancakes with butter like he knows you like it and also cuts them up. Mike then delivers them to you on a plate.

You lighten up a bit at the food, starting to dig in as he goes to get you a glass of water. He comes back and sets it on the table in front of you. Before too long, you’ve finished your food and water and are back rubbing your eyes tiredly again.

“How about that nap?” Mike offers with a knowing smile. You nod and make grabby hands, indicating you want to be picked up. The man isn’t the most built but he works out enough to easily pick you up, knowing how much you like it when he does. You wrap your arms around his neck while he holds your thighs not too tight.

In a few seconds, you’re in Mike’s room and he deposits you carefully on his bed. He tucks you in so you’re nice and safe and comfortable. He’s about to turn away when you stop him. “Can we cuddle, please?” You ask and he already knows he’s not going to say no. He hums and slips into the bed, fortunately already in comfortable wear.

In the bed, you turn to face the wall opposite the door and Mike catches on, wrapping you up in his arms. Before he knows it, you and him fall asleep even with the sun peeking through the blinds at you both.

◞♡࿐

this was kinda therapeutic to write because ive been going through a tough time myself :( tysm for the request <3

[taahko]

I just found your blog today can you please explain or point out a post that explains the MASH timeloop thing? I love the show but I've never heard anyone talk abt it that way before

oh yay hurray ive been waiting for an excuse to talk about this lmao sorry this is long

ok so basically maeve (my gf) and i started watching mash for the first time about a month ago and we started joking about it being like the characters were stuck in a time loop mostly because the same basic episode format is repeated over and over, because it's a sitcom from the 70s and the episodes arent meant to be watched en masse where you can start noticing all the little repetitions and plot holes and inconsistencies that naturally occur in longform tv

but then i started to pay attention to the dates being mentioned in the show - famously the korean war never technically ended, but american troops were involved in active on the ground fighting between 1950 and 1953, so the entire 11 seasons of mash have to be squeezed into that three year period. with 251 episodes occurring within 1,129 days, that gives every episode about 4.5 days of real time. so it works right? no time loop right? well wait a sec

for the first 5 seasons or so of mash they give very consistent dates about when things are happening. for example, bj arrives in korea in september of 1952, at the start of season 4. colonel potter arrives about a week after him, and talks about how he has 18 months left before his retirement. that gives us about 7 months for the shows final 7 seasons to take place in, meaning that by the episode 'point of view' in season 7 we should be around december of 1952. in that episode the pov character starts writing a letter home and in the corner he writes the date:

september of 1951. ok, could be that this episode isn't meant to take place in the regular timeline of the season - maybe for some reason its just like, a random flashback episode. but bj, charles, and potter are all present, even though none of them got to korea until 1952. now i KNOW that this is not like, the True Hidden Secret Lore of MASH, this is the writers realizing they were running out of road and turning back the clock a bit to accommodate for how long the show was running on. but play in my time loop space with me please

more talking points:

consistent jokes about time zones and how difficult it is to call the states because "our today is their yesterday but if you call them now it might not reach them until our tomorrow and by that point our yesterday will be their today"

hawkeye's increasing mania over the seasons and his conviction that the war will never end, comparing the camp to dante's inferno multiple times. maeve once pointed out that the closer hawkeye comes to realizing that he's trapped in a time loop the closer he gets to being institutionalized - and what does the series finale cold open onto ? hawkeye in a mental institution. the only way out is to lose yourself etc. sidenote frank also escaped the time loop by going insane and getting institutionalized

in a war for all seasons bj potter and charles are all present at the 1951 new years party as well as the 1952 new years party

there are three christmas episodes, two of which bj is present for even though he should only have spent one christmas in korea

details of people's families and lives shift around - sometimes potter's got multiple grandchildren, sometimes he only has one, sometimes its a girl, sometimes its a boy, sometimes she's 5, sometimes he's 2

we're not the first people to talk about this either, here's a good video compilation posted a couple yrs ago of time loop moments

overall ive been using the time loop thesis to add another layer to my mash viewing experience. it increases the already present sense of constant dread, anger, frustration, and disgust with their situation that the characters feel, plus it feels like a very poignant take on the united states' constant warmongering and violent existence. it really never ends, it just goes on an on. the future's been canceled by the war department- we're just gonna replay the past.

[leossmoonn]

Hey, I don't know if you do Clapton Davis fics. But can you do one about one of the girls at school that makes it look like Clapton Is cheating on the reader and theh break up and then he does everything to get her back? They end up back together in the end ofc :D

Btw I love your writings 💕💕💕

thank you! full disclosure… i haven’t watched detention yet, but ive read a lot of clapton fics and i feel like his character is pretty understandable and simple (aka loser, lover boy). if this isn’t correct then ill just have to watch detention 😭

includes - reader is fem, mentions of sex (this was actually so painful to write bruh. it gave me relationship flashbacks ). there’s like so much mentions of murder idk why, gets kinda frisky at the end (nothing major). not edited.

————

“that calc exam was brutal,” your friend zoey groans.

you nod in agreement. “even with the extra study sessions peterson offered, i felt like i didn’t know anything on the test.”

“why do teachers do that?” zoey frowns. “it’s like they’re trying to make us fail.”

“they probably are,” you remark. you both turn the corner, your gaze falling to your shoes as you rethink every math problem you just did, hoping they were right. you don’t look up until zoey gasps. you barely are able to lift your head up when she grabs your arm, spinning your around in the direction you just came from.

“what are you doing?” you hiss. “trust me, you don’t want to look,” zoey says. you frown, “what happened? is someone like, pissing in the hallway?”

zoey laughs awkwardly. “not this time.”

“well, then it can’t be that bad.” you twist your arm out of her grip, walking back.

“stop!” zoey warns you, but it’s too late. your jaw drops at first glance. once your eyes settle on the situation, your heart sinks to your chest and you suddenly feel nauseous. right in front of you is your boyfriend, clapton, and the most popular girl in school, taylor fisher. she has him trapped up against a locker, pressing herself against him. they aren’t kissing, but if they both leaned in then they could. she looks like a predator zoning in on her prey. worst thing is that clapton doesn’t even look bothered. he doesn’t look uncomfortable. he’s smiling and laughing. he’s looking at her like he wants to fuck her.

zoey stands next to you, a sorry expression on her face. “i’m so sorry,” she whispers.

you swallow hard, feeling like there’s glass in your throat. the bridge of your nose burns and you feel droplets of water run down your face. the worst thing is about this is that he hasn’t even noticed you standing there yet.

“let’s get you out of here,” zoey says, grabbing your hand. you’re about to go with her when taylor’s hand touches his chest. he doesn’t push her away. he doesn’t grimace in disgust. he does nothing. taylor and clapton spots you a few seconds later. his eyes widen, like he just got caught committing a crime. to you, it feels like he did.

“look what the cat dragged in,” taylor grins maliciously.

zoey can’t help but roll her eyes. “that’s rich of you to say.”

“baby,” clapton says, sounding helpless. “don’t.” you say, clenching your jaw and fists. it’s now when he pushes taylor away, walking towards you. you shake your head. “we are done.”

you turn to zoey. “get me out of here?” she nods enthusiastically, gently grabbing your hand and leading you out the exit.

she takes you back to her house. you’re silent the whole way there and silent about the whole time you’re at her house. she puts on one of your favorite movies in hopes to cheer you up. but you just sit on her couch taking deep, shaky breathes. she pauses the movie with a quarter left, turning to you.

“you shouldn’t keep this all in, you know.”

you nod, acknowledge her words. you still don’t say anything. you’re afraid if you speak you’ll start sobbing. zoey places her hand on your knee.

“i don’t want to force you to say anything, but i’m here for you.”

“i know,” you say, your voice coming out like a croak. “are you hungry? i can make us some ramen,” zoey suggests.

you shake your head. you haven’t eaten since lunch, which was about six hours ago. but you have no appetite.

“how about some crackers? i have saltines,” she says.

“i’m okay,” you say.

“how about some water? or some soda?”

you think for a moment, slowly nodding. “okay. i’ll have water.” you only agree to a drink because you know zoey will something for you anyway. she gets up and goes to her fridge. she returns with a glass of water and some crackers with m&ms.

“zoey,” you frown. “you don’t have to eat these at all,” she says. “but if you end up wanting something, these are here for you. and you know you can have anything else you want while you’re here.”

you start crying now. you open your mouth to thank her, but it comes out in a sob. she rushes to hug you, holding you as you cry into her shirt. you pull away after a good 15 minutes of crying. zoey gives you some tissues and you blow your nose.

“out of every guy at school, she had to choose him? 90% of the guys at school are single, and he had to choose my guy?” you scoff.

zoey nods and pats your arm comfortingly.

“b-but he’s not my guy anymore,” you sob. your whole chest hurts as you cry. it feels tight and like you can’t breathe. your heart feels like it’s physically breaking. it feels like clapton took your heart out of your body and he and taylor smashed it all up with sledgehammers.

“taylor is a bitch, and not the one that she refers to herself as.”

“yeah, she is,” you nod. “she’s a disrespectful, evil, pretty, popular bitch,” you start to wail.

“just because she’s pretty doesn’t mean you aren’t either. don’t compare yourself like that.”

you snuffle, wiping your nose roughly. “and clapton — ugh! i let clapton-fucking-davis play me. that dumb, little, attention-seeking twerp! all he has to do it push her away and say no. he can’t do that because as soon as a girl gets close to him, he starts thinking with his dick!”

“boys are dumb,” zoey confirms. “yeah,” you nod. your crying comes to a stop and you look at zoey with a self-pitying expression. “i liked him a lot. i let him meet my parents. i’ve snuck him into my house. he’s made cookies with my mom and talked to my dad about cars. i… i thought he liked me.”

“he’s in love with you,” zoey says. you shake your head and laugh sourly. “no, he’s not. he likes the attention i give him. he likes the fact that because of me, he sees boobs and has sex. he likes the fact that he can call me his girlfriend.”

“well, i find it hard to believe that you don’t like all the superficial things he does for you. don’t tell me you forgot that you literally called me while he was still in your house, after had just given you, and i quote from you, “the best night of sex i will ever have”. you also love his muscles and his abs and the way he looks at you when you’re naked and when you’re all dressed.”

“yeah, but,” you huff. “i didn’t let a guy talk me up and basically grind up against him in the hallway.”

“you’re right,” she nods. “you are totally right. and i’m not saying to forgive him at all. in fact, don’t. i’m just… i do think that he’s in love with you. and he just made a terrible mistake.”

“i don’t want to forgive him,” you frown. “like i said, you don’t have to. i just hate to hear you talk so bad about yourself. you are a catch and you have your whole life to find the guy of your dreams!” zoey exclaims.

“what if i wanted him to be that?” you ask. she sighs, “if it’s meant to be, then it will be.”

the next day you feel like shit. you can only manage to drink half a cup of coffee and a piece of toast. zoey picks you up for school and you try to request sad songs, but she declines. she sings the most annoying, happy songs to your face. she almost catches you smiling, but you frown so deep it makes you both laugh. you almost forget about the unfortunate series of events until you show up to school and see taylor walking out of her car.

“how does she always look so perfect?” you ask. “she really doesn’t. she obviously didn’t put on makeup today and that orange shirt isn’t doing her any favors,” zoey says.

you scoff and turn your head to face her. “you’re joking, right?”

“did it make you feel better?”

“a little.”

“then no, i’m not.”

you managed to avoid clapton the whole day. you ate lunch in zoey’s car, got to your classes super early, and even was able to avoid using your locker — which you hated using anyways. you started to feel better as you begin to think about all the fun things zoey has planned for you this weekend. the happiness dissipates as you see clapton standing by zoey’s car.

“oh, my god,” zoey grumbles.

he’s holding a huge pink teddy bear and a jewelry box. he smiles brightly as you approach him.

“hey! i didn’t see you today. i thought that i would —”

“save it,” you stop him. “i told you we are over. what part of that isn’t clear?”

he sighs, “i know. but then i remembered that you liked this teddy bear that you saw online, and it was there at the store! so i decided to get it for you. and i also bought these earrings that i had already got you for our anniversary, but i figured you’d like them sooner.” he opens the box. “they’re the theme of your favorite book.”

you have the fight the urge to swoon. “i’m sorry you spent your money on me, clapton. please move so we don’t run you over.”

“please,” he begs.

“please what, calpton? please listen to your sorry excuses? please listen to you ramble on for ten minutes without even talking about what happened? please wait for you to apologize? no!” you shout.

he opens his mouth to speak, but you stop him.

“you hurt me, clapton. seeing you with taylor, that hurt.”

“i know, but i can explain. we weren’t doing anything, i swear —”

“yeah, that’s what hurts! you know, i wish that you kissed her and i caught you inside of her, cause that would’ve been so much more explainable. that would’ve been so much more acceptable. but no. you just stood there letting her sweet talk you. i know you’re not used to getting noticed. you’re known as the class-clown and people sometimes rag on you, but i thought you weren’t letting that bother you anymore! you told me yourself that you don’t need anyone’s validation anymore. but that’s obviously false.”

he blinks rapidly, jaw dropping and closing a couple of times.

“you can save this stuff for the next girl. or just keep them yourself,” you say. you turn to zoey who is trying to contain her excitement. “can we go to out to eat?” you ask.

“i was just about to ask you the same thing,” zoey smiles. you try to not look at clapton as she drives away, but you can’t help it. he looks like a lost puppy that just got his heart stomped on. he kind of feels that way.

he feels terrible. this is the worst he’s ever felt in his entire life. this outdoes the time he went to six flags and threw up all the popcorn and toxic waste he ate.

“hey, honey. did she not like your gifts?” clapton’s mom asks as he shows up with full hands.

“no, she didn’t.”

she frowns and gets up from the kitchen table. “did you apologize?”

“yeah,” he nods slowly. she narrows her eyes. “why can’t you boys say sorry?”

“girls can’t say sorry either!”

“not the point,” she says. “you have been talking about this girl nonstop for the last two months. your father has said you should just ask her to marry you if you like her so much. even if she hates you now, which is understandable, you need to give her a real apology.”

“i do feel sorry! i just… what if i say sorry and tell her how i feel, and she still rejects me?”

“then she rejects you. as long as you try and learn from this, it’ll be okay.”

clapton nods in agreement, trudging up to his room and laying down on his bed. he knows he messed up bad. he never meant to hurt you. he’s never dreamed of every hurting you. he know he doesn’t have a good explanation. he can’t even explain what happened between taylor and him himself. but what he does know is that he feels absolutely nothing for taylor, and his whole heart is yours. he steal for you, lie for you, go to jail for you. he would split the world for you.

he has to let you know how he feels about you.

clapton’s at your window, throwing rocks at it. he’s been there for half an hour. at first he thought you were ignoring him, but now he just thinks you’re not home. he’s correct when he sees zoey’s car pull up in your driveway.

“oh, shit,” he mumbles. he panics and looks around him for somewhere to hide. he jumps in a bush that’s on the side of your house, hoping you don’t see him.

“that was the best crab rangoon i have ever had,” zoey groans. “i might have to go back before i go back home.”

you scoff, “being me back some!” you’re about to walk into your garage when clapton lets out a sneeze.

“did you hear that?” zoey asks. “uh, yeah,” you nod. “hello?” you call out. there’s no answer. fear seeps into your chest. “you need to take me back to your place now. someone could be plotting to kill me!”

“okay, yeah,” she nods. “should we call the police? I’m going to call the police.”

clapton jumps out the bushes, scaring both of you to death. you both scream as he appears in front of you.

“it’s just me! it’s just me!”

“oh, my! fuck! clapton!” you groan. “you can’t do that? we almost just had a heart attack and died!”

“okay, that’s a little bit dramatic,” he chuckles.

“and you’re here!” you wave your hands in the air angrily. “why are you here! you are so annoying and creepy.”

“don’t you think me waiting here is romantic?” he asks, giving you a hopeful smile.

“you’ve been waiting on me? agh!” you scream. “get out of my house!”

“i’m technically not in your —”

“do you want me to kill you?” you ask. “no,” he shakes his head. “i mean, if that’s what you want. anything for you.”

“clapton,” zoey says. she grabs his arm, escorting him to her car. “i will drive you home so you don’t die tonight, okay? this is out of the kindest of my heart. even though i think you are a d-bag.”

“wait, wait, wait! please! i want to say one more thing. after this , i’ll never speak to you again. i promise,” clapton pleads.

zoey raises her brows at you and you shrug. she lets him go and he walks back to you.

“i am so sorry,” he says. “good start,” you remark.

“i… i really don’t have any explanation for what you saw. i know that doesn’t help, but i can tell you what happened. she was asking if i could get the physics homework answers from you to give to her. i was saying no, but before i knew it, she was saying funny things to butter me up. and then she trapped me against the lockers and put her hand on my chest to pin me down.”

“you expect me to believe that?” you scoff. “i know. i know it’s not practical, but,” he takes your hands into his and stares into your eyes, “i swear on my love for you that that is the honest truth. you can even ask her! you know taylor wouldn’t lie to you.”

you search his face. he looks so desperate, so pained. you really don’t know whether or not to believe him.

“i hope you know that you don’t have to forgive me. just know that i am so sorry and hurting you makes me want to eat shit while i’m skateboarding. i’ll leave now.” he let’s go of your hands. you feel so cold now, so lonely. “can you take me home still?” he asks zoey.

“i guess so,” she huffs. “see you tomorrow,” she says to you.

you nod and give her a small smile, waving goodbye to the two of them. you go up to your room after talking with your parents for a little bit. you spot the countless pictures you have of you and clapton. you’ve known him since freshman year of high school, but you’ve known him for only a couple of months. saying goodbye to him feels like a knife twisting into your back, bud that’s how you felt seeing him with taylor.

you never thought clapton would hurt you, not like this. but you know people can change and reveal a part of themselves you never knew existed. eventually, the truth comes out. but you find it hard to believe that this is the case with clapton. the way he’s treated you since you’ve started dating is like nothing you’ve ever experienced in other relationships.

he’s always been super sweet to you. always complimenting you, asking how you slept, carrying your backup, holding you accountable when you study. he’s never been good with words, but he’s never had to be. he always is holding your hand or massaging your back. he loves buying you gifts or making you stuff. he likes cooking for you, too, even though he’s quite terrible at it. he’s always protecting you against rude remarks you sometimes get at school. sometimes the girls will say something about your outfit, and clapton always has something to say to them. not to mention, he is a giver and always makes sure you get satisfied multiple times before he gets anything. which is super different from any other guy you’ve been with.

for you to be able to know the real truth, you know what you have to do.

“you don’t have anything sharp on you, right?” zoey asks. “no,” you say. “why?”

“in case you try and kill taylor.”

“what! i would never do that!”

zoey gives you a look and you roll your eyes. “the closest i would get would be cutting off her hair. which, to her, would be murder.”

zoey chuckles, “you so should do that.”

you shrug, “we’ll see what happens.”

“hey, taylor!” you plaster on the brightest smile ever. she turns to you, looking you up and down while smacking gum. “can i help you?”

“yeah,” you nod. “i was just wondering what you and mike were talking about?”

“why do you wan to know?” she asks. you fight the urge to roll your eyes. “i am just wondering. it’s not like you were discussing murder right?”

she glares at your cheap joke. “i asked him if he knew anybody with the answers to the physics homework. i tried to get your answers, but he just kept saying no. he kept saying how i should do my own work and how you’re not just some homework-giver, or whatever. i tried to seduce him, but for some reason it didn’t work. his brain must be broken or something.”

“really?” you ask. “yeah. he actually laughed at me. i mean, what kind of freak does that?” she scoffs.

you can’t help but laugh yourself. she frowns. “am i a joke or something?”

“no,” you say unconvincingly, turning around and walking to zoey who is waiting for you by your locker.

“what’s the verdict?” she asks. “i… i guess clapton was telling the truth,” you say. “i need to find him.”

“i don’t think he came to school today.”

you groan, “well, i can’t skip school.”

“i’ll drive you to his house right after school.”

zoey does so, leaving when you tell her clapton can take you home. you go to his backyard, finding some rocks and throwing it at his window.

“clapton! it’s me!” you shout. you see him at the window almost immediately. he opens it, sticking his head out. “i thought you didn’t want to see me?”

“can i come inside and i’ll explain?”

he leaves for a few moments, opening his back porch window. he leaves it opens for you and you walk in, sliding the door shut behind you. you follow him up to his shook, gasping as you see the variety of gifts he has on his desk. there’s the bear and earrings you’ve already seen. then there’s a bouquet of roses, a couple of books, some gift cards, and some of your favorite snacks.

“how long have you had these?”

“a couple of days,” he admits. “i saw this thing online about like, a love basket. i was going to put all these things in them and give it to you.”

“didn’t you promise you wouldn’t see me anymore?”

“i would’ve left it at your door. that way you technically wouldn’t have seen me.”

you laugh softly. you now know that he never would have given up on you. it’s kind of sweet. especially since you didn’t really want to never see him again.

“i spoke to taylor,” you say. “oh.” his eyes widen in surprise. “what, uh, what did she say?”

“everything that you said. you know, i actually feel bad for her.” you take a step towards him.

“why?” he asks. “cause it seems like you hurt her feelings when you rejected her,” you explain.

“well, she’s not the girl i want.” he moves closer to you and takes your hands into his. “i am so sorry, again. i should have walked away long before you came.”

“you should have,” you nod.

“and you are the best thing that happened to me. you make me so happy. you don’t make me feel dumb or worthless. you accept me and like me. you don’t think of me as some joke. you make me feel good. and i just want to make you feel good for as long as you’ll let me,” he confesses.

“i’ll let you for a long time,” you smile. he smiles back, leaning in and kissing you. you pull away after a few moments, giggling a little bit.

“what?” he asks. “how much money did you spent on me?” you look at his desk.

“uh, you don’t want to know.”

“clapton!”

“you wanna take a look at them? they’re all great. i know you super well.”

he walks you to his desk. the books are form your book wishlist you’ve sent him. the gift cards are of your favorite shops. you awe, kissing him again.

“i think i know you super well, too,” you say against his lips.

“oh, yeah?” he breathes against your lips.

“let me show you.”

[badgyalshii]

ITS NEVER OVER | II

Paul Atreides x Reader (always safe for POCS+ Plus size)

2.6k word count

warnings! idk really you tell me lmao. just sad really, flashbacks, etc. proofread, uhhh most of it.

A/N: im so happy i got the results that I did in the first part, im thinking of starting a taglist for this series maybe so just send me an ask saying you wanna be in there and i gotchuuuu! thank you to everyone who reads my stories, i was supposed to post this yesterday but i was pretty busy. i am overall happy with how this series is going! i was gonna leave it simple and end it here, but honestly i feel like i could keep going with this, love you guysss!😘

Access Part I here. I . II . III . IV .

¨its just protocol¨ ¨it wasnt necessary, i watched. Ive watched you, standing behind you. Who are you, paul?¨

¨y/n? Helloooo, y/n¨ chani waved her hand in your face as the memory slowly faded and you came back to your vision and seeing chani infront of you. You both laid on the small bed, hot when the sun was up or down. Chani wanted more, she swore she did. When she wasnt talking to you she was searching for something to make this ¨house¨ feel comforting, like a home. You closed your eyes as the flashback completely faded in your head. You both were laying down, she was across from you with a worried look on her face as you blinked. ¨yes chani?¨ ¨are you prepared?¨ she asked. You struggled to remember what she was talking about, and her concerned look never left her face. ¨To leave¨ chani whispers gently. She knew you still had feelings for paul, and she couldnt fight to win you over in your constant mental battle. You never felt like this before. Wanting only one person- no, needing them. Under your eyes grew heavier and heavier. Days grew longer and you hardly slept and when you did it was of paul, had you have no life of your own? Have you grown depressed? You sighed, stood and you dressed, taking a deep breath in as you pulled up your pants and grabbed your mask.

Its been 6 years, 6 years on arrakis with chani, and you never forgot. You never forgot the life that you used to have, the life you missed so deprately, and you never came to terms with your new life, even if it was with chani. You missed stilgar, you missed everyone, grouped together, eating, small laughs between you and your friends, paul picking at your plate whenever you didnt really feel like finishing your food. You loved chani, you love her, youve became closer and closer like sisters. She taught you her own individual skills that shes learned along the way, but you guys barely talked. Her company was comforting, but all you really thought about was paul, and his new marriage, and his new wife. Was it just…..protocol? You could tell when you spoke to chani that she was extremely uninterested in the topic of paul, but thats all you ever thought about.

You found another place in arrakis, it took about 6 sandworms to get to your destination and you lived in once again, another large rock. You and chani hunted for water and when you found it you both started to make another ¨tent¨ in the rock to live at for a while. You both sat down and ate.

¨whats on your mind?¨ chani asked worryingly, she worried, she worried so often. She only wanted whats best for you and it hurt to see you this way but she covered it with her toughness. ¨paul. Maybe he was right-¨ ¨y/n, it has been six years since then. Please-¨

¨maybe… i should go¨ you thickly swallowed, looking at your hands before you looked back up at her. Her jaw was clenched before she released it, she has an irritated look on her face before she released her eyebrows. ¨im coming with you”

As you got dressed to go back to him, you thought of him. Maybe it was because of the way he laughed so softly against your lips that made you miss him. Maybe its because of how his warm and rough fingers softly grazed your face and on your body sending butterflies in your stomach and tiny shocks wherever his loving touch landed, eager to touch you, the way his green but now electric blue eyes looked at you with pure admiration. He was so perfect. Everything you wouldbe thought you wanted on paper was right infront of you, waiting on you. You couldnt lie, you were excited to see him and thankful chani allowed you to go back. You wondered about him, wondered how he looked now, was he more mature? Did his voice get deeper? was it just protocol? Did you make a mistake? Is he safe? Is he still there? Does he still love you?

Anxiety crept through your throat before you swallowed it back down. Chani was already ready to go as soon as she shes going with you. You looked at her, she was sitting outside of the giant rock, waiting for you and if she wasnt already so smart, she turned feeling eyes on her back almost as if she could sense you, one eyebrow raised as she then crossed her arms and leaned on her left foot. You sighed before picking up your things, walking up to chani she put her hand on your shoulder and patted it. ¨can we just sit here? we just got here! look at the view¨ she said before crossing her arms again and looking at you with a smile.

The view was clearly beautiful. The sun coming down as it usually does but in this particular rock, there was something different about the scenery. ¨pretty cool for a shit planet¨ you muttered, dropping your things before you got down and sat criss cross. Chani joined you, enjoyed the view for a little longer before she looked over at you.

¨why do you like him so much, Paul?¨ she questioned kindly, usually she didnt like talking about him, she was never a fan. You looked at her, studying her face you could see she had a serious face beside her eye slightly winched from the sun, she waiting on your answer before she lifting her knee and laid on her elbow. you sighed before sitting with your legs flat out with your hands in your lap, it wasnt a hard question, it just caught you off guard. Why were you so attracted to him? . ¨i….i dont know, actually¨ you looked back into the view, chewing on the side of your cheek before continuing. ¨its not everyday you get a new comer who is so emotionally strong but you could see he is so lost in those gorgeous eyes. Someone so intelligent, beautiful, kind, and wise. Who wants to learn and is¨ you did an exaggerated sigh before raising your fingers to quote ¨so humble, as stilgar says¨ chani laughs before laying flat out. ¨he was new, wasnt like us. us growing up, we were used to the same routine, everyone around everyone. So when he got here, when he wanted me.. I just…felt…different. Everything felt different¨ a small smile played on your face as you thought of him.

“ever thought of kids?” paul asked, playing with your hair. “why are you thinking of kids in your current situation, paul? wouldnt that be too much?” you reply, your arm laid across him and your head in his chest. he chuckled in return, you felt his heartbeat skip and pitter patter before you felt the vibrations from his voice, “i wouldnt wanna have a kid unless its yours, y/n” and with that you smiled and looked up at him, pressing a kiss to his lips before he wrapped his arms around your waist to flip you guys over, you both chuckled before paul pulled up the sheets.

You wanted to feel his warm embrace again. You wanted him again. ¨i had a vision- well a dream that one day, he would be ruler. Be so wise and so gentle, which he already is. But i would be at his side, carrying his kids. Happy family. Getting to see his eyes… looking into him and only seeing love, i wouldnt ever grow tired of it. Y/N atredies, queen of atredies, me and him. You and stilgar, everyone around each other. Happy family, happy life. Of course war, but-¨ you cut yourself off, ¨i just want love, ever since i experieced it with him, its hard to let go. He teached me genuine love, nothing less, nothing more. The way he was so honest. How could i ever let that go?¨ you questioned, a puzzled look on your face as you waited on chani to answer. She took a pause, she once again looked back at the view before looking at you.

¨you do understand that he isnt the same anymore, right?¨”she said, looking up. ¨i understand,¨ you nodded, ¨ and i saw it, when he said he was waiting for me. He changed when he drunk the water of life. I dont think he really… values relationships anymore. I remember, i remember before he drunk the water, way before. He would tell me about these nightmares he had and how he was going to do everything to stop it¨ you pursed your lips to the side, as the conversation flowed, your confidence in your relationship was going lower and lower. As much as you didnt want to hear it, you needed to. ¨he lost himself, y/n¨ chani says. ¨are you sure when you walk back into his life hes gonna be the same old paul?¨

You bit your lip before looking down at your hands and let out a breath, ¨thats what were going to find out, right?¨ ¨to be honest,¨ chani sighed and put her hands behind he head, looking at the ceiling of the rock. ¨ i dont really trust him, never did. nor do i like him. He took advantage of us y/n. Tricked us, making us fight for him¨ chani said without filter. ¨he is the preacher, its written. I believe in him¨ you said pridefully, showing humility as you will always stand behind your one true love. ¨you got your sight taken by the vision of love¨ chani looks at you, she felt bad that you were so blind. But you were often like this, always have been. Soft, sensitive, caring. Its true, you and muad´dib are perfect for each other, chani could see that, but you honestly didnt wanna talk about it if she wasnt even gonna try to understand. ¨white savior¨ she finishes and looks up at the ceiling of the rock again before she looks back into the distance. ¨i love him¨ that was your finishing statement.

It was as if nothing faded, like you didnt grow, like you saw paul yesterday, like you never left. Chani felt so bad, so bad that you kept searching for paul in sleepless nights. But she also felt slightly angry, as if she didnt take you under her wing and teach you something brand new, a new way of life. It was like you totally discarded it, like you didnt want it, you didnt want to. Paul or nothing. Did you not value chanis friendship? Her love? She would never ask, shes too dominate for that. But it bothered her.

¨we should leave before it gets too late¨ chani mutters, letting out a slight groan before she stood and wiped her hands off on the pockets of her pants. You followed suit and picked up your bag before something dropped. It was pauls necklace, a family heirloom he trusted you with, he wanted you to have it. You looked at it before picking it up, rubbing over it and placing it over your neck before following chani.

The sand crunched against your shoes as you followed her, she was silent as she held the tools to get a sandworm. It was offly hot today and you both lacked water so she viewed it at that point, she already discussed with you that she wasnt gonna work for muad´dib, wasnt gonna fight for him, only gonna fight for her people. You looked at her, the sweatbeads on her forehead visible but it didnt make her look bad. You sat while you waited for the sandworm to appear.

When you arrived the foundation looked huge, guards around the premises dressed in black, all tall, muscular, and you could easily tell they were worthy of their place. ¨follow me¨ chani said, her walk bold and strong as you followed behind her in suit. Chani walked up the the guard and the guard had a strong bold look. ¨who are you?¨ the guard asked. ¨chani¨ she replied, taking off the mask that covered her eyes. ¨freman¨ he muttered, he looked over chanis shoulder and saw you. ¨and you?¨ he questioned, ¨freman¨ you replied. He stepped aside and allowed you both to enter. Chani pushed the door open, coming inside and you followed.

You werent used to this, spending all your life living in a rock. The walls were long and you looked at them, wanting to touch them, study the whole place. But there was something else you wanted to see to, the love of your life. ¨y/n, im gonna try to find stilgar. Be safe¨ chani whispered to you. ¨chani, this is home. Everyone we know is here, this is family¨ you said with a smile on your face. ¨its been six years. Foundations couldve changed, family couldve changed. Who knows what paul did, y/n¨ she said stern. You nodded your heard and she did too, leaving you off to find the one you wanted to see do desperately.

You walked, the building was so silent that you could hear your own footsteps, sand fell off your shoes as you walked, leaving a trail. A smile played on your lips as you walked throught the halls, checking every door, seeing your people. You asked them, ¨wheres paul?¨ in return they smiled, ¨not so sure. I dont even know where his room is at. Maybe check the throne room. Honestly, i havent seen him in a long time, y/n¨ and you did, no one was there. You furrowed your eyebrows and continued to look through the rooms, paul just wasnt there. Your happiness sooned turn into sadness and insecurity. Tears were on the edge of brimming your eyes. You exiteded the castle and sat down, leaning against the wall. You held your knees up to your chest and put your head on your forearms.

Where is he? Wheres chani? This is his place he cant be impossible to find, can he? Why cant i find him? Wheres his wife? All these thoughts coursed through your head as you waited, you ended up falling asleep, outside.

¨y/n?¨ you heard. Your neck had a crane as you looked up. ¨y/n!¨ it was a voice you recognized, ¨why are you outside?¨ they laughed, you finally looked up after rubbing your eyes and it was stilgar. ¨stilgar!¨ you yelled, he came down to your level and hugged you. He laughed ¨look at you, all dirty¨ he wiped your face. ¨wheres paul?¨ you questioned, his smile dropped and his eyebrows furrowed. This took you aback, ¨wheres paul? I was gonna ask you that¨ he mutters, wiping the dirt off of your cheek. You dropped his hand and looked at him with desperate eyes, ¨what-what do you mean?¨ you asked, desperate for an answer. ¨paul left 2 years ago, y/n. He said when he came back, he would come back with you¨” stilgar looks down as he reveals, you stood, paced, questioned. ¨he said he would wait for me- i….i dont understand! Stilgar¨ you let out a whine, trying to fight the tears. ¨where is he? Stilgar please, please!¨ you begged, dropping to your knees. Stilgar couldnt muster to come up with anything to say. In honesty, he mightve been more sad than you. The messiah is gone, lost. No where to be found. How could he find him? Where could he possibly be? Two years. Two. this was like heartbreak all over again. Before, you knew he was alive, but now. You know nothing. Should you go back? Is he still searching for you?

[petrichal]

One Piece 1133 talk: Praise Me for Living

i just wanted to open this with I WANT TO PELT SPANDINE AND THAT FUCKING SON OF HIS WITH ROCKS SO BAD OH MY GODDDD

"I'll never forget the sounds of the screams that emerged from the fire" THOSE WERE CIVILLIANS. ON THE ISLAND YOU ORDERED A BUSTER CALL ON. I HOPE YOU CHOKED IN YOUR GRAVE AND SUFFER IN HELL I HATE YOU

(kind of a moot point but one other thing i wanna say when I was reading through the raws was that Spandine says “ガキの皮を被った悪魔だ”/"That's a demon wearing the skin of a child" here which - to me - felt more visceral than the translation. still an insane thing to say about a child though, obviously.

edit: I was thinking how fucked up it was that literally everyone around her believed that she truly was the devil's child, but with descriptions like that (+ rumors spreading about how she can use "freakish sorcery" [-> devil fruits not being common in the Blues?], she'd "slit your throat in the night", and "no human emotions", like she's not human at all) you can see how easy it was for people to get brainwashed into this wrong idea of her when she was young. Government manipulation in, i guess, the entirety of West Blue at the time, ran deep. anyways)

With that outta the way, this chapter is masterful. Im gonna cry. Ive cried already throughout a third of my reading for this chapter, it's just so good. Nico Robin I love you so much

Though its unfortunate that we have to see Spandine again, Oda knows what he's doing bringing back Robin's tragedy at the start of the chapter. We know her story, we've seen her flashback, but it's an entire other thing to see it again in Elbaf, the arc where we know the context of, that Saul is alive, and it gives us a clue that that is where the chapter is heading towards.

Also isn't it crazy that when the dialogue frames Robin as this "dangerous", "unfeeling" person with no heart, the visual we're presented with is her crying as she sifts through garbage to search for food, and then sharing it with a dog?? Hello??? And the panels before that goes "The government won't go into detail about the story" for fear that "the truth" might "traumatize the children", which is CRAZY when slapped upon an image of cipher pol agents with guns actively hunting down a child??? The juxtaposition of Spandine's dialogue and the images that are shown is very telling, it's just so well done.

TW: discussions of suicide (for this part)

We know that Robin was ostracized as a child. We know this. Doesn't make it hurt any less, though. Especially (and especially) when it's shown on the pages clearly of how it affected her.

What got me thinking when I saw this again was that all of West Blue was probably fed this lie from the World Government. Every island she went to knew who she was, literally everyone was warned to look out for her, that she was dangerous and should be turned in. And it's not like travelling out of West Blue was safe, nor was it probably an option that existed for Robin back then- like, she was eight!! How was she supposed to go across the Red Line, the Calm Belt?? She was truly boxed in. She must've felt that there was no other way out. Of course she'd turn to suicide.

That panel of her at the cliff honestly broke me. It's not like it wasn't implied at all back when her flashback was first shown; Her circumstances were difficult for her and it wouldn't be out of left field to think that she might have considered dying. To have it drawn on a page that she considered it, looked down from a cliff, and the fact that the only thing keeping her from jumping was her mother's words and Saul's promise was genuinely heartbreaking. She was so strong to have gone through all of that, she deserves the whole world and more actually

Cut back to the present and she lived through it all and here she is with her family, a place where she belongs aaaaaa 🥲 I love that Luffy gets all huffy (hah) over Robin saying that she can go alone, saying that a captain needs to pay their respects to those who have helped their crew, that it's the honorable thing to do. Sounds like a certain someone, ey? (Ace & Shanks lol, he remembers Makino's lessons from all those years ago too ;v;).

Then they all insist to go with her and it's so cute and I was like oh when did she change her clothes and $@!#>}! ITS THE SAME FIT SHE WORE WHEN SHE MET SAUL FOR THE FIRST TIME!! SAUL'S "FALLEN AND WON'T GET UP" IS BECAUSE HE DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO GREET HER SO HE DECIDED TO JUST FACEPLANT ON THE BEACH BECAUSE THATS HOW HE MET HER FOR THE FIRST TIME!!! ITS SO SILLY BUT I STARTED TEARING UP??? WHAT????AND THEN THE PARALLELS:

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

my heart...... my heart.....augghjkjsdh..... (speechless)

The fact that the first thing he tells her was about how Ohara's sacrifice wasn't in vain, that traces of them still remain, like Robin, did you hear Vegapunk's message?? That was the message from the people of Ohara, their voices are still being heard!! was so goddang wholesome.

And Robin hears this, and she hears about how Saul survived and the things he heard other people call her, and he's getting angry on behalf of her again but all she wanted (and perhaps, what she truly needed this whole time) was something else;

For Saul to praise her for having survived.

(The Viz translation isn't ~wrong~ with Robin's line here, but I wanted to point out how it was put originally; Instead of "I want to hear nice things about how I survived!", the raws read “生きたこと… 褒めてほしい！”, which, as I understood it, "I want you to praise me... for being alive/having survived!". The chapter title has it as "Nice Things" but the original was “褒めてほしい”/ "I want you to praise (me)". And this probably seemed self-conceited in english?? and that's why it's translated like that idk, i just thought its nicer in jp)

But the fact that Robin is asking this of Saul and the fact that she's able to make that request in the first place is where I sobbed because this is what Robin wants to hear!!! It's a childish, selfish request, and it's something she wasn't able to wish for / doesn't allow herself to wish for before because she thought Saul/anyone she loved from her past was dead this whole time or that she didn't deserve it, but Saul is alive, and it's the first step she needs to take to truly heal!! Her changing her clothes and cutting her hair to seem more like herself when she was younger is a deliberate choice, this is the part of her that needs closure, the part of her that went through all the trauma the world had given her, and she's healing her inner child!! She needed to hear this from Saul!! She deserves this so much!!! (im rambly if this doesnt make any sense im sorry khfdjk)

And Saul laughs, and says of course!/“勿論だ！”, no questions asked, and the unconditional love just broke me down man i cant

Note that Robin was smiling this entire time (maybe from the start of the arc? or at least since she cut her hair) and leading up to the last page was when she finally started breaking down. They're crying, the crew's crying, Luffy looking on so fondly, happy for her, and I'm crying. I love One Piece so much, I love these dorks. I don't think I'll forget this last page for my life, it's one of the best moments in this series to date.... Truly the Robin chapter of all time <3

bonus: lmfao?? maybe they'll let him down once they get back for the festivities but rip bozo

[gluion]

here’s much to do with hate, but more with love ➵ lee sangyeon & lee hyunjae

non-idol!lee sangyeon x reader, non-idol!lee hyunjae x reader

when you land the lead role for your university's upcoming play, you expect your scene partner to be your best friend, lee hyunjae. but when your eyes discover a different lee beside romeo montague's, you're certain that the universe is not on your side.

genre/warnings ➵ enemies to lovers, slight friends to lovers (kind of), afab reader (they/them pronouns), university au, theater au (?), suggestive themes, drinking, pet names (sweetheart), huh yunjin is your bestfriend, i don't remember much from physics so my bad if angular momentum is not taught in college (or probably a basic lesson), kevin moon is the director and kibum from shinee is the teacher advisor, three different scenes and one flashback, p1harmony cravity twice and ive cameo too, theater kids do know how to have fun!, sangyeon macbeth burn, the scottish play is macbeth btw, theater superstitions mentioned!!

word count ➵ 6.1k words

taglist ➵ @deoboyznet @kflixnet @blankjournal @winterchimez @miusgirl @jenoscafe @sweet-unicorn-world @vernyangel @mosviqu

a/n ➵ here's my submission for the secret santa fic exchange of the deoboyznet! i got daisy @daisyvisions <3 i hope you enjoy this, and i hope i got to fulfill your request (and did justice to sangmil) <3 thank you to @vernyangel and @winterchimez for betareading this <3 also thank you to @shegotthewoobies and @sizzlingdino for sharing your theater knowledge <3 much love <3 i'll definitely consider writing a part 2 for this fic if anyone wants it :') for everyone, please don't forget to reblog (even if it's in your tbr) and leave feedback <3

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To exist is to perform. At every waking moment—every second, every location, every play—is an audience ready to witness an act, regardless of whether they attended the first act or came in the middle of the third. To exist is to perform. No matter what role you signed up for, you’re left to act as your own backstage crew, cast, and director. To exist is to perform. There’s no such thing as intermission for the crowd remains rooted in their seats. To exist is to perform. You’re born an actor; nothing can change that.

There’s an unwritten contract that comes with being an actor; it is to understand your role and scene, and then immerse in what your character is undergoing. Let the curtains draw back and feel. And most of all, never allow the audience or your castmate to disrupt the show.

(It didn’t matter if you were performing for someone or no one. The roles you undertake are made for you, after all; it’s only right to perform, perform, perform.)

(And regardless of the nature of the role—ensemble or lead, it didn’t matter because they held their own value—you knew to perform it as if it were your last show. But you’ll never allow yourself to be a ham; you would rather have someone exclaim the official name of “The Scottish Play” in the theater—scratch that, you would rather hear “good luck” at every opening night.)

For today’s play, you’re left with a monotonous role—a university student forced to listen to the blabbering of a lecturer as they teeter on a tightrope. At any second, you swear you could almost slip and fall into slumber, but the sound of your professor clearing his throat is what has you scrambling back into focus. 

“So, angular momentum.” God, you need to get out of here.

Before you can find yourself falling back into your thoughts, the table vibrates. You look down at your phone to see a text from your best friend.

jennikirin: GIRRRLLL… jennikirin: i just heard that sir key posted the casting list

Your eyebrows shoot up. With hands quick to grab your phone and type out a reply, the voice of your professor turns into elevator music.

y/n: HUHHH isn’t that supposed to be coming out next week??? jennikirin: YEAA but zuha told me that sir key and kevin wanted it up early just so they could start preparing for the production jennikirin: jichang told her btw HUEYIQEYE y/n: IMCRYAINDG!?!@?@ y/n: fuck ME now i have to sit through the rest of this class knowing that the list is out already??? jennikirin: DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED i’m stuck with sir son in stupid econ…  jennikirin: like I DON’T CARE ABOUT YOU GREGORY MANKIW!!!! LEAVE ME ALONE!!! y/n: i’m learning about stupid angular momentum under sir won… y/n: like i’m only here because ITS A GENERAL SUBJECT!!! I’M AN ADVERTISING MAJOR?? jennikirin: nvm sir son is dismissing us early 💗 i’m bolting to that corkboard see ya y/n: FAWK YEWWWW

All you have to do is follow through with your role until the curtains draw close—a simple task that seems impossible to complete. If your knees were to hit the ground and your hands would come together in a prayer position, would the performance be life-changing that the show is cut short? Could you be free from your duty as an actor playing a student?

(And it’s funny because you spent countless hours studying and praying to get into this university; you were in no position to complain.)

“That’s it for today’s class! Please make sure to read up on—”

You were out of the classroom before you could hear your professor’s full announcement. The details of your next assignment don’t matter when your fate is stored in a paper posted on a corkboard.

(Though, you know it is a lie. You did need to pass Mr. Won’s class to get your degree, and you didn’t want to go through Physics a second time.)

The hallway is filled with rumbling students, off to go to their next class or itching to get some food during their break in between. As you made your way through, you could only spit out half-hearted excuses—Sorry! Just passing!—as you bumped shoulders with strangers. Different looks were thrown your way, apologetic and scornful ones to name a few.

Your phone vibrates in your hand, and you look down to see a text message from Yunjin. A sigh leaves you as you type out a reply while walking.

jennikirin: I JUST GOT HERE jennikirin: WRU y/n: OTW WAIR FIR ME jennikirin: BITCHHHH OKAY

Once you’ve made it out of the sea of extras, you can spot the brown corkboard surrounded by a crowd of students, and you can see your ginger-haired friend looking down at her phone. She’s pacing around, struggling to not look at the cast list.

“Huh Yunjin!” Her eyes land on you as you call out her name. You scurry your way to her. “Sorry! The hallways were packed.”

“It’s fine! Now, we need to check the casting list. I was practically dying not looking at it.” She tugs on your arm, maneuvering you both closer to the paper plastered on the corkboard. As she says excuses, you spot familiar faces leaving with different expressions—joy and disappointment to name a few.

You can spot Yoon Keeho and Hwang Intak walking away, sighs of relief leaving them. Shoulders down are what Kang Minhee and Ham Wonjin sported, a teary-eyed Song Hyeongjun trailing behind the two. Faces of those you knew during your time in countless productions, and others you’ve only met during auditions; they’ve read the paper that had their fates.

Every step is a dreadful one as you trudge your way through the crowd. (Or you could say being dragged by your best friend.) But before you can attest, you find yourself facing Yunjin, both of you only one look away from finding out your fates.

“Okay, are we ready?” Be still, your heart.

With one nod, you both look at the piece of paper that holds the names of those participating in the Romeo and Juliet production. As you spot Yunjin’s name beside Rosaline Capulet, your heart leaps at the sight.

“Oh my god, Yunjin, you GOT IT!”

“Y/N, YOU’RE JULIET!” You lock eyes with your best friend, eyebrows raised in confusion at her words. “Girl, look!” She moves your face with one hand and has the other pointing right where your name lands—Y/N as Juliet Capulet. Your hand reaches to your face, palm covering your mouth as you hold back a gasp. Mind jumbled, you didn’t know what to say.

Yunjin pulls you into an embrace, jumping in her place. “WE GOT IN!” Her cheer sounds throughout the hallway, earning stares from those surrounding you two and those passing by.

Your eyes trail down the list, trying to find someone’s name. The sight of your other best friend’s name has you smiling, but you’re pulled out of your utopia when you find it situated beside a character he didn’t audition for—Lee Jaehyun as Count Paris.

“Hyunjae didn’t get Romeo?” The whisper has Yunjin halting her actions.

Her eyes rest back on the casting list. “What? He didn’t get in?”

“No, he did, but he’s playing Paris.” With furrowed eyebrows, your eyes look to who your scene partner is; who is your Romeo Montague? And when you see the word “Lee”, you expect that Sir Key might’ve made a mistake and inputted Hyunjae’s name twice.

That is until you read the word that trails after the first—Lee Sangyeon as Romeo Montague.

“Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me.”

Lighting erupts within you. The air current moves at a speed fast enough to form a tornado, and it just so happens that you’re in the eye of it. You’re face-to-face with a natural disaster, wondering its next course of action—to consume you whole or to leave you be.

Lee fucking Sangyeon; oh how you couldn’t even say his name without your blood boiling. Is there anything even good to say about the cocky motherfucker?

You shared the tragic fate of attending the same high school as Sangyeon. And just like you, he was in the theater club. At first, he was just someone like you—a student with a passion for acting. But the thing about Sangyeon is that he presents himself well, earning gushes from those part of the club, students and teachers alike. It seemed that he was the perfect actor, always landing the leading roles. At one point, you wanted to believe that it was because he was a good actor, but the reality unraveled itself when you saw what was behind the scenes.

Lee Jaehyun, or Hyunjae as he goes, shared the same dreams as Sangyeon. They both wanted to act, ideally landing leading roles. The passion the two shared should’ve fostered friendly rivalry, a way to propel them to reach heights never imagined. But the more Sangyeon received countless opportunities to play the lead role, the more Hyunjae’s determination started to crumble. What makes the whole thing even bleaker is that Sangyeon knew what his rival felt, and made the most out of that opportunity to tear him down.

What started off as genuine words of encouragement had turned into two-faced statements. And it hurt to see your best friend believe he was incapable of becoming an actor. If anything, you could name countless roles that he deserved to play the leading role, and many could agree with you. As your best friend started to crumble, you were driven by the desire to protect him. With every appearance Sangyeon made, your hostility towards him grew, and it didn’t help that he solidified it with only one interaction.

Scratchy; that’s what your sweater feels like against your skin. Perhaps it’s the heat of the hallway that has you wanting to strip your knit sweater off, or the material has just worn off. You tug on the collar, hoping that the discomfort will dissipate. Eyes trained on the corkboard that held the names of productions your club has done throughout the years, you wonder what role could you land for The Scottish Play.

It’s unlike you to audition for a big role, a leading role to be exact, for you found yourself growing comfortable in minor ones and ensemble. Yunjin has never been able to convince you to audition for the big roles, and your other friend, Kim Younghoon, could never find the right words to push you to sign up under a main character. But Hyunjae held some power over you—If you audition for Lady Macbeth, I’ll try out for Macbeth—and you couldn’t find it within yourself to say no, especially when Hyunjae was considering giving up auditioning for leading roles overall. 

You can feel the coolness of the concrete wall against your nape. Hamlet, Three Kingdoms, Sweeney Todd, and more are the productions you’ve hesitated to audition for the lead roles. You close your eyes in an attempt to calm your nerves. One audition wouldn’t kick you out of the club, right? If Ms. Jang learned that you were unfit to be an actor at that moment, you put the blame on Hyunjae.

(But in reality, you knew you would blame yourself. Hyunjae wouldn’t be at fault for what Ms. Jang decides to do with you. Every failure you face is caused by you, and you need to take responsibility for each one.)

Then, the door swings open, and the cold air that the air conditioners of the theater expel hits your skin, causing goosebumps to form. A shudder runs down your spine. Your eyes peel open, and you’re ready to greet the person who exited the theater, about to wish them luck. But when you catch sight of the one person who has done nothing but tear your best friend down, the taste in your mouth is like acid.

His head whips in your direction, catching sight of you seated with the sample script that Ms. Jang provided resting on your lap. His eyebrows shoot up and his eyes trail you from top to bottom. “So, which one?”

The question catches you off guard. Although you didn’t like Sangyeon, you two didn’t really talk for there was no reason to do so in the first place. So, when he does decide to talk to you—like this moment, and it’s not like you two really talked until now—you find yourself surprised at the interactions.

When you tilt your head in confusion, he chuckles with a smug look plastered on his face. “Which of the Three Witches?”

And with just one question, you feel your resolve snap. For him to assume that you were auditioning for one of those roles felt like an insult. It’s not that you didn’t see the value of these roles; you know that the production is nothing without the people to fulfill the minor roles. But to hear such a question from him with his record of humiliating Hyunjae, you cannot help but believe he’s trying to do the same to you.

“I’m auditioning for Lady Macbeth,” you answer, venom laced with your tone. It doesn’t help that shock casts on Sangyeon’s features.

“Oh, I see,” he starts. He clears his throat, an attempt to hide his bewilderment, and shoots you a smile. “Well, I’d like to have you as my scene partner.”

Cocky—that’s all Lee Sangyeon will ever be. His ego has been inflated with all the leading roles he’s landed. You’ve never met anyone filled with pride like his; how could he prance around with confidence that he would get the role he auditioned for every single time?

You roll your eyes as you stand up from your seat, the script now in your hands. “I can’t believe you’re so confident that you’ll be playing Macbeth. Have you ever considered that maybe you won’t play the main role for once?” The glare you shoot at him does nothing to his pride.

“I don’t know, I’m pretty confident about the performance I gave just a few minutes ago.”

It baffles you. Sangyeon continues to prove that he’s never been given a reality check; maybe you should snap some sense into him.

“I’d rather settle for being part of the ensemble—no, having no role than play your scene partner.” If Sangyeon is thrown off by your statement, he does a good job hiding it, just like the supposed perfect actor when it comes to handling ad-libs on stage. He would never understand what it means to be an actor—what makes a production successful—if he didn’t appreciate the minor roles. 

If he had something to say back to you, you don’t give him a window to do so for you have taken your leave. You first came with a desire for the auditions to be over, but now, you come with a desire to prove you’re an actor capable of any role. It didn’t matter what anyone else thought, especially whatever Lee Sangyeon seemed to think about you.

For the first time, you and Hyunjae played the leading roles in a production. Sangyeon was left as an understudy.

Although you were in university, it’s not that you could escape Sangyeon for you two were in theater. Thankfully, the productions you’ve had a chance to work on didn’t always have Sangyeon playing the leading role.

(Though, he did still play a handful. Perhaps he still held some charm over the university crowd.)

But due to the bigger cast and production team, it was usually easy for you to avoid him. You know when to take your leave, and you know to tune him out if you can hear him act (or speak, really). Nothing good ever comes out of interacting with Sangyeon; it’s best to limit your interactions with him for it would preserve your sanity.

But the universe seems to have other plans for you. Face-to-face with his name situated right beside the name in which your character is romantically interested, you cannot help but read his name again, and again, and again.

You wish that this is just a nightmare, that you fell asleep in the middle of Mr. Won’s class, and that you’re paying for the consequences by your consciousness presenting you with the worst outcome. God, you really did mean it when you said you would rather settle for no role than play Sangyeon’s scene partner.

Stupid Sangyeon, Sangyeon, Sangyeon. And as if it were the curse of the Bloody Mary, saying his name three times brings you to your demise.

“Huh, guess you ended up being my scene partner after all.”

You whip your head to where the devil stands, right beside you with arms crossed as his eyes remain on the casting list. His gaze lands on you, and a smug grin rests on his face. “I’m wondering if you’ll talk to Kevin or Sir Key about withdrawing from the production.”

His words make you frown. Before you can retort, he walks away, your eyes burning holes into his back. Yunjin could sense the rage within you and kept her hands on your shoulders in an attempt to calm you down. 

An exasperated sigh leaves you. “I cannot believe that guy.” You look at your best friend who only holds an apologetic look. “Can’t believe I have to deal with his shit even ‘till now.”

“I know.” She bites on the inside of her cheek. Before she could say more, her phone vibrated in her hand. As she reads out the notification, she groans. “Fuck, I need to go. I just remembered I have a project to work on.” She stores her phone away. “Where are you headed?”

“Uhm, I’m gonna wait for Hyunjae,” you say as your shoulders sag down. As you hear your best friend hum, you spot a teasing smile resting on her lips and you roll your eyes. “You’ve got to stop that.”

“Stop what? I’m not saying anything,” Yunjin attempts to defend herself but you both know she’s far from innocent.

You shake your head, a giggle leaving you. “Whatever, go! I’ll see you later.” You’re left staring at the cast list as she takes her leave. Busy hands fiddle with your phone, clicking one of the contacts marked as a favorite. You bring it close to your ear, waiting for him to pick it up.

“Hello?”

“Hyunjae-ah, where are you?”

“I’m on the way to where the cast is posted!” His hurried reply signals that he’s running to where you are. “I just heard from Joshua that it was released early.”

You chuckle. “Yeah, I heard the same from Yunjin. I’ll wait for you.”

“No need to wait too long.” You look behind you to see your best friend standing a few meters away. His hair is tousled up from all the running but still falls back perfectly in place. His hand combs through it, a grin resting on his lips at the sight of you, as he jogs towards you.

“Hey, where’d you come from?”

His arm finds its spot around your shoulders, bringing you close to his side. All while he is transfixed on the castling list, your gaze rests on your best friend. “I just had Ethics—oh my god, YOU GOT JULIET!” He spins to face you and brings you into a hug.

“Yeah,” your arms find their place around his shoulders as his limbs rest on your waist. “But, you know, you got Paris.” When you lean back, you only see a grin on his lips.

“Yeah, but who cares? I mean, my sweetheart got the part she wanted.” There he goes again, using the pet name that started as a quip but still sticks years later. You roll your eyes at his remark, but before you can say any more, he beats you to it. “Don’t think about backing out now.”

A sigh leaves you. “But,” you glance at the name of your (and Hyunjae’s) enemy, “I’ve gone through enough of him in high school. Can’t I live my uni life in peace?” You pout at your best friend, and he chuckles at your behavior, cheeks dusted with hues of red.

“Do you really want to give him the satisfaction of making you quit such a big role?” Would it be that bad to say yes? “C’mon, playing Juliet is a huge deal! You’re destined to play that role! And, I mean, you wouldn’t want to disappoint Sir Key and Kevin…”

God, it did hurt you to agree with Hyunjae. You didn’t want to waste the time and effort Sir Key and Kevin Moon, the teacher adviser and the director, must’ve put into crafting the cast list. But to go through months with Sangyeon, all for a university play? It’s not that you were pursuing a career in theater, or acting for that matter.

But would you from a few years back—a high schooler who treated every theater production as if it were a Broadway one—say the same thing? Is this the role you wanted to take on as an actor, one willing to step down over a nuisance? 

With one sigh, Hyunjae knew what your answer was. He smiles before dragging you away from the piece of paper that seems to only bring downpour. “I don’t know if this will make you feel better but I heard from Changmin that there’ll be a house party. Maybe we can drink the sour mouths away.”

“Drink the what away?” You chuckle at his choice of words. “Hyunjae, I’m so glad you aren’t a scriptwriter.”

He scoffs at your insult, “But you get what I mean.”

“I do not.”

He rolls his eyes, playfully shoving you which causes you to giggle. “Let’s just drink the bitterness away. We could be meeting our other castmates and the prod team, maybe getting to know them more.”

You cannot help but hum as you ponder over your schedule for the rest of the week. “I don’t know. I have this one homework for Mr. Won’s class that I sure as hell don’t know how to answer. I mean, I don’t even know what the instructions are!”

“Ah, just trust me! I’ll help you out with that. Just,” he stops you two in the middle of the hallway. There were barely any students for they scrambled off to their respective classrooms or looked for lunch. He pouts at you, his hands now holding yours as his fingers draw circles on the back of your dorsals. “Go with me, will you?”

It doesn’t take you a moment for you to make up your mind; you’re sure the trade-offs that come from that party won’t save your ass from Physics or Sangyeon.

But when Hyunjae leans in, his lips ghosting your ear, your breath hitches. “I’ll take good care of you, sweetheart.” You’re nothing but a puddle (and a sheep). So once he leans back, you nod. At the sight of your confirmation, he smiles. “Okay, let’s go have lunch.”

You can only hope that Hyunjae (or any of your friends, really) understood annular momentum, or whatever it’s called.

(You truly are a lost cause in Physics, and you’ll be blaming it on Sangyeon. Every inconvenience is caused by him, anyway.)

For anyone who thinks theater kids couldn’t party, they’re wrong (partially, only). Sure, there were the occasional show tunes that played from Kevin’s playlist, and a certain someone named Ju Haknyeon who belts out of the blue, but no one complained.

With only a few drinks in, you and Hyunjae are buzzed. And although you both agreed on using this party as an opportunity to get to know the other members, you still found yourselves sticking together—shoulders bumped, hands laced, or arms wrapped around each other.

Now, you two along with Yunjin and Younghoon were hanging out in the kitchen, not away from where the crowd was but quiet enough to have your own conversations.

“You know, I finally got to talk to Jihyo,” Yunjin says before taking a sip from her drink.

Younghoon tilts his head. “Park Jihyo? The one playing Lady Capulet?” A hum of confirmation leaves her as she continues to drink. “Did you see her audition for The Baker’s Wife for Into The Woods?”

Yunjin nods, letting the rim of her cup leave her lips and smacking Younghoon’s arm repeatedly. “I was able to sit in for the auditions because I signed up for prod team instead. Girl, I can’t believe she didn’t get the part.”

“Yeah, didn’t Rei get the part instead?” Hyunjae asks to which Younghoon nods.

“Didn’t she audition for Little Red Riding Hood?”

Yunjin shrugs at your question. “I’m not sure, but I do see her playing that role versus the wife.” She sets her cup on the kitchen counter behind her. “Don’t get me wrong, though. They’re both outstanding actors but I would’ve changed the casting. Some of them would’ve played different roles that suited them vocally and acting-wise.”

“Well,” you sigh. “You know that some directors are just batshit blind.” Hyunjae cannot help but elbow you, earning a whine from you as he chuckles. “I’m serious, though! Like, look at Hyunjae! He’s the perfect example.”

“Ouch. Thanks for reminding me of my tragic history.”

You roll your eyes at Hyunjae’s words, the playful tone evident in his words. “I’m just saying, some directors don’t know what they’re doing.”

In no way did you have anything against Kevin. You’re certain that he knew what he was doing; it didn’t sit right that Hyunjae lost a huge role to the same prick who couldn’t get off his high horse. But there is no point in contesting because your best friend wouldn’t allow you. All that mattered to him was that you got the role.

“Yes, but I trust Kevin. Honestly, I’m just glad I still landed a role,” Hyunjae shrugs as he sips.

Younghoon hums along. “Exactly! I heard Hyeongjun didn’t even make it to ensemble.”

A groan rips out of your throat, knowing that the two made a good point. “Yeah, I trust him, too. I just,” you shake your head at the thought of your enemy. “I’m just sick of Sangyeon.”

At the mention of the devil’s name, you feel an arm wrap around your shoulders, your shoulder hitting against something firm. And when your eyes drift to the stranger, you’re met with the bane of your existence.

“Talking about me, sweetheart?”

To hear Sangyeon use that pet name had your stomach churning. You plant your hand against his chest in an attempt to push him away, but you feel his pecs through the white, cotton material, and you quickly retract it. Instead, you shrug his arm off.

“What are you doing here?”

His gaze rests on the boy beside you, shooting him a smile. “Shouldn’t we use this time to build our chemistry?” To others, Sangyeon may have genuine enthusiasm to get to know his scene partner, but you and Hyunjae knew that his grin held nothing but arrogance.

You move closer to Hyunjae and his hand finds its spot on your waist. Sangyeon’s eyes flicker to your best friend’s hand but he still holds the same smile.

“Sangyeon, it’s just acting. I can easily fake chemistry,” you shake your head, trying to scoot even further towards Hyunjae. There’s barely any space between you two. “Unless your supposed great ass can’t fake it. Did all those years spent in theater not teach you anything?”

There’s no way to fake chemistry; everyone knows that, from actors to audiences. But when you’re face-to-face with Sangyeon, you would take any opportunity to get back at him for what he’s done—not only to Hyunjae but to you, as well.

Despite your words, Sangyeon’s expression never wavers. Stoic Sangyeon—he always knew how to get on your nerves. “Isn’t the point of this party to get to know each other?” You roll your eyes, looking away to give your eyes a break from the nuisance.

But when you feel his breath fanning against your left cheek, you’re afraid to say anything. The distance between you two right in front of your friends makes it feel like it’s forbidden, especially when Hyunjae has his arm wrapped around you.

“Especially with our kissing scenes.”

A chill runs down your spine. You know what he’s doing—embarrassing you in front of your high school friends just to rile you up, and rubbing it into Hyunjae that he got the lead role once more. Whatever place Sangyeon first held in your life didn’t matter anymore; he’s dug himself deeper into the pits of hell that you never knew of until this moment.

You want to push Sangyeon off and drag Hyunjae out of the house, alone together and far away from him, but a booming voice breaks the tension.

“Wow! It’s nice to see our Romeo and Juliet getting to know each other,” Kevin comes into the kitchen with a grin and gains everyone’s attention.

Under the gaze of your director, you don’t think twice about what you do. “Yeah!” Your arm quickly links with Sangyeon’s, and you notice Sangyeon freezes up. It’s out of character for you to do such; you can only imagine the expressions of your friends. “Just old friends catching up, right?” When you look at Sangyeon, you notice a flicker of confusion in his eyes, but your forced smile is enough for him to get the message.

“Yeah,” he smiles at Kevin. “I’m just glad that my Juliet is someone I know.” My Juliet? Oh, you’re going to be sick. 

Kevin is amused with the newfound information. “I didn’t know you two were friends! I never see you two interacting.”

Perhaps your animosity towards Sangyeon is obvious but you weren’t going to allow the feud to get in the way of the role of a lifetime—Kevin can never know about the water that has gotten stained with red.

“Oh, we all went to the same high school.”

“Same theater club, too,” Sangyeon chimes in.

Kevin looks at everyone with amazement. “Oh, that’s so cool! From the same high school to the same university. I’m sure you’re all happy to see each other in the theater scene again.” Everyone but one, really.

“I’m looking forward to seeing everyone work in the production,” his eyes rested on you and Sangyeon once more. “Especially the chemistry between you two.”

When Kevin takes his leave, you all bid him farewell. And once he was an earshot away, you shrugged Sangyeon off. “See? I can fake chemistry.” Your glare finally causes a small reaction from him—the startled expression on his face makes you reign victorious. “Clearly, you need to work on that.”

If Sangyeon wants to retort, you don’t allow him to do so as you leave the kitchen with Hyunjae’s hand in yours.

A few hours have passed since Sangyeon decided to come and dampen Hyunjae’s and your moods. Thankfully, you haven’t seen him since but it could be because you were too drunk to care, or maybe you were too distracted by the boy whose lap you sit on.

“Hey, why don’t we get out of here?” Your best friend’s lips graze your ear. His hands hold onto your hip, his thumbs drawing patterns on the exposed skin that’s starting to peek. You giggle as you shake your head, earning a chuckle from him. “Why not?”

His whines have you dizzy (or it’s probably the effects of the alcohol), but you do your best to answer. “Hyunjae, we’re supposed to be getting to know our castmates better. Isn’t that why you asked me to go with you?” As you looked at everyone in the living room, you know for sure there was no chance to talk to them anymore for they were too intoxicated to remember tonight’s events.

When he presses his lips to your jawline, you cannot help but close your eyes at the sensation. “Yeah, but we aren’t even talking to anyone. Why don’t we just go back to your place and just, I don’t know, make out?” He whispers the last words as if it were taboo.

This is what you and Hyunjae were—friends who couldn’t help but enter territories that blur the line between platonic and romantic. Since you two first entered university, you and Hyunjae couldn’t seem to keep your hands to themselves, always finding their places on each other. It started in such a blur—at a party just like this, both intoxicated—but both of you couldn’t help but keep it going. You still limited your relationship to occasional make-out sessions and snuggling, but you never went past such stages with him. The two of you didn’t mind the unclear boundaries, anyway.

“I don’t know,” you finally look at your best friend. His eyes seem to glimmer, and the heat rushes to your cheeks. “I haven’t gotten to talk to Daniel.”

His eyebrows shoot up in amusement. “Kang Daniel? The one playing Lord Capulet?” As you hum, he chuckles. “I can’t believe you’re thinking of another man while you’re on my lap, sweetheart.” There he goes again, using that pet name.

“What do you mean? I just want to get to know my castmates better.” The teasing tone is evident. You crave the attention—the possession—Hyunjae seems to have for you.

And when his nose brushes against yours, all thoughts are knocked out of you. “Sweetheart, you don’t need to know anyone else, not even their names. You already have me.”

For a moment, you almost think this is it—the two of you will enter domains never traversed and there will be no way to go back from it, but you don’t mind, not with him, anyway.

His eyes flicker to your lips, and you hold your breath. “Don’t do that,” he chuckles. “You need to catch your breath before I take it away.”

Before he can do anything, you feel the couch move as someone takes a seat beside him. You’re ready to put some distance between the two of you, but when your eyes land on the stranger, you realize that the universe is not by your side or Hyunjae’s.

Hyunjae scoffs and his hand cradles your face, an attempt to get your attention back, but your blood boils over the sight of the same guy who always ruins everything.

“I didn’t know Juliet gets so touchy with Paris.” Sangyeon’s comment has you rolling your eyes. Clearly, you’re too distracted by him, and Hyunjae can’t do anything but give up. Instead, your best friend just settles on holding you close to him while your gaze remains on the devil.

“What’s with you? We don’t have to talk to each other unless it’s for rehearsals.��� A frustrated sigh leaves you. “Don’t you know that all we have to do is act?”

When all you’re met with is the same cocky smile he flashed Hyunjae back at the kitchen, you shake your head. You’re about to glance at your best friend, prepared to tell him that you two should leave and retreat to your place.

That is until you feel someone’s fingers hold onto your chin, redirecting your gaze to Sangyeon. Now, you’re face-to-face with Sangyeon, the distance between you two is even smaller in comparison to when you were in the kitchen. 

The air is knocked out of your lungs, your eyes looking right at Sangyeon’s. Whatever you looked like had him smirking—you were defenseless against him for once.

“Can’t handle it?” The question is meant to provoke you, have your blood boil so that you scream profanities at him. You’re sure he’s pertaining to all the little stunts he’s been doing; teasing you to get a reaction from you, acting like you two are friends, and making comments about your acting experience.

But for a second, you almost think he’s talking about himself—could you handle him not only on the show dates but also be surrounded by him for the upcoming two months?

And once more, your brain turns into mush. The lights become streaks of different colors, and they do their job of making Sangyeon look different—still the same cocky motherfucker, but now, you want a taste.

Your mouth goes dry and you’re scared to exhale, but Sangyeon only smiles before letting his hand leave your chin. It’s clear he’s happy by your soundless reaction. When he stands up from the couch, he glances at Hyunjae, and his smile turns almost sinister.

You would’ve said something like you always do, but you’re unable to form a coherent sentence. You’re intoxicated; the alcohol’s still in your system, but Sangyeon’s gaze shows that the drinks you’ve had are nothing compared to him.

With that, he takes his leave. Whatever moment you and Hyunjae shared is now lost—all thanks to Sangyeon, once again.

if you enjoyed reading this, please do reblog with feedback!

[silveryclear]

Hide and seek

MDNI ALL CONTENT REGARDING STNAF IS 18+ AND SO IS THIS BLOG

Friend belongs to @stnaf-vn

Pairing: Friend/ AFAB Reader

CW: Sensitive Content, Kidnapping, Manipulation, Gaslighting, Obsessive Behavior, Implied Murder, Drugging, Panic Attacks

A/N: The writing process for chapter 7 of the STNAF Coraline AU is coming a bit slower than expected, so here’s some angst while you wait heheh.

Your keys jingle uncontrollably as you try to balance the groceries on one hand while trying to unlock the door. The TV must’ve drowned your knocking and incessant ringing because the babysitter’s presence was nowhere to be found. Once you had managed to find your way to the kitchen and place the bags on the counter, you walk towards the living room; only to find it empty. And a mess.

You roll your eyes at this as you pick up the remote and turn it off. “Kids, how many times have I told you to turn off the electronics when you’re not using them?” You yell as you tidy up around the living room, picking up decor items that were scattered along the floor.

“Did you kids wrestle each other again? I told you to be careful when you play fight!” You sigh and make your way upstairs. To your surprise, your sons were already tucked in and sleeping soundly.

You chuckle and gently close the door. You were thinking about giving the babysitter an earful but they seemed to perform a miracle if they managed to get your kids to bed in time.

Speaking of which, where is the babysitter? You look in the other rooms upstairs, calling out to them. Weird. If they left, they would have given you a call.

Just when you were about to call them, you hear the TV downstairs turn on again. You sigh, feeling as if someone was playing with you like a puppet as you make your way downstairs.

“Hey, I was just about to call you. Thank you for getting the boys to bed early. It’s always a struggle for me so I’m willing to forget about the mess—“

The rest of the words die in your throat as your gaze lands on the person sitting on the couch. The one person you least expected to appear, sitting nonchalantly as you stared at them paralyzed in fear.

Friend smiles sweetly at you, taking the remote control and lowering the volume. His signature blonde hair on full display, however, he’s changed— grown. His muscles flex with every movement and he sports a trimmed beard, all adding to his mature look. His voice got slightly deeper as well.

“I’m glad! We just tussled around in the living room for a while until they were all out of energy. Sorry for the mess, I wasn’t expecting you to arrive so soon.”

You could hear Friend talking but his words were partly drowned by a ringing in your ears. Your hands trembled as your breathing grew ragged. You couldn’t see, you couldn’t hear. You were back in that basement, an IV strapped to your arm as you remember your slow and steady descent into madness— convinced that you loved the man that is standing now in front of you.

“Sweetheart, baby, you need to breathe. Breathe for me, come on…” He says in a sickeningly concerned voice. You don’t want to listen to him, but you can’t afford to pass out, not when your children are upstairs, unaware of the person who is in their home.

Oh god, he was playing with them… how long has he been here? Where’s the babysitter??

“Baby, no, come on. Stay with me.”

“Stay with me, please.” He whimpers. “I love you. I love you so much, sweetheart…”

Flashbacks infiltrate your mind and you can feel yourself falling into that same place you had worked so hard to crawl out of. You push Friend away and glare at him, tears brimming the corner of your eyes. You pant heavily.

“Stay away from me…” you whisper at him, your voice filled with such rage it genuinely took Friend aback. “Stay away from them…”

Friend recovers and smiles softly at you, as if you hadn’t basically sent him to hell with your expression. “You know I can’t do that baby…” He murmurs softly, slowly reaching out his hand to caress your cheek.

You close your eyes for a moment and take a deep breath, doing your best to ignore his gentle touch and gaze— the ones he weaponized to keep you isolated with no one to rely on except him.

You look at him again to see him staring at you you with such an affectionate expression, tears brimming his eyes as he gazes at you. It almost makes you waver.

“I have sons…” he murmurs with the softest most proud voice ever. “You gave me children…” Friend’s voice trembles at the end of the sentence, but he smiles in awe of you.

He reaches out hold your hands and you don’t react, staying silent. “I’m sorry…” he whispers before bringing your hands to his lips and kissing them gently. “I’m sorry I couldn’t be here for you… but I’m here now.” He gives you the widest of smiles. His expression, albeit more mature, still holds that same obsession from years ago. “We can be a family again. You, me, and the triplets.”

You let your tears fall freely as you shake your head, sniffling. “We can’t…”

“Shhh…” Friend slowly wraps his arms around you and embraces you. You begin to sob, trembling in his embrace. “We can and we will…” He rubs your back soothingly as you sob harder from his words. “I searched high and low for you, baby… I haven’t slept in six years.” His embrace becomes tighter, constricting. “I’m never letting you out of my sight again.” He whispers deep and firm, his possessiveness creeping in through his voice.

“No no no no…” You cry out, squirming in his grasp with no hope to escape. He’s gotten bigger, stronger.

“Sweetheart, don’t cry. You know this is what’s best for us. Think of the children. Do you really want them to grow up without a father?”

You shake your head, your eyes closed shut as you do your best to drown out his manipulative words. You know what’s best for your children. You’ve done what’s best for them.

“I did think of them… why do you think I escaped?”

Friend tenses for a moment, his expression hard. It quickly melts into the affectionate smile he usually had with you and only you.

“A momentary lapse of judgment on my part. I should have done better to show you how much I love you.” His hold on you tightens. “I should have kept you in the basement.”

“No, Friend please…” You whimper, crying on his shoulder. You can’t. You can’t go back there. You can’t let your children grow up in this environment, thinking that whatever twisted love Friend felt for you was healthy.

“It’s okay, baby… I’ve already taken care of everything.” He coos softly. “Let me take care of the four of you now…”

His words are like molasses as they stick to your mind and infiltrate your senses. You’re reminded of the way he “takes care” of things and you remember the disappearing babysitter— along with the disappearance of your closest friends and colleagues in the past. Flashbacks of your descent into madness flood back and you thrash against him. Your cries turning into screaming.

Friend sighs and takes out something from his pocket. “I didn’t want to do this…” Suddenly, you feel a prick on your arm and slowly everything begins to swirl into darkness.

“Nooo…” You whimper softly, your eyes half lidded.

“Shhh… just sleep. When you wake up, these past six years would have felt like a bad dream~”

You can only hope these past few minutes were the bad dream as you slowly fall unconscious in your best friend’s arms.

[princessbrunette]

s4ep10 spoilers below the cut ♡

jj suggesting his name for the baby oh he’s dyingggg

pope n cleo’s reaction 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

rafe just staring like there ain’t no way ……

jj u are manic babe 🩷

it’s so weird seeing the scenes that i remember seeing the set pics from …….

cleo and jj going head to head on thievery rn

rafe just yelling and being loud asfk

john b dropping all the apples this fool

rafe getting grabbed by the cops 😭😭😭😭😭

“dumbasses” alr uncle rafe settle down

new iconic rafe walking scene just dropped

“hey baby” rafe……

“im just taking care of business okay?” RAFEYYY he said it so gentle .

the way he just randomly purchased a new fit

BEAT GROFFS ASS !!

rafe looking at the cat when it meows at him ijbol

ok like not rafe just randomly scaling a building

LETS GOOO BEAT HIS ASS RAFEEE

jj yelling “frick!” is killing meee

“HOW DID YOU GET THIS” “I STOLE IT” pope n cleo u will always be famous

this british lady so annoying oh just pack it in.

rafe driving that big ass bike thing ok hagrid tease 😍

“holy shit! that wasn’t even close to answering my question!” now

“so now you’re gonna be my bitch” i’m turned on

ohhhhhh no rafe crash out

RAFE SENT HER PACKINGGG WOAH?

jj flashing the gun was sexy asf idk

“your lucks gonna run out one day…” alr we get it he’s dying surely

rafe talking to himself, angry, single, scheming - we are so back

“that’s my brother” OKAYYYYYYY

“youre not the only one who shot teddy bears” i don’t need tbis rn

terrible aim pope. love you tho

sarah not even flinching when rafe held the knife up to her 😭 she was like alr cmon

rafe hug her. come on

AWWW SHE HUGGED HIMMMM LIKE A BABY and he started crying what if i sobbed rn

“ive gone one bullet left” hes better than me cos i would have panicked and kms

CLEO GOT SHOT NO

the way everyone treats pregnant sarah is the way they treat puppy!reader just all the time i fear ….

“coming right up queen kie” i chuckled

jj don’t die.

“i had him” “no you didn’t” “alright yeah” PLEASE

pope tha killer woah….

“im a killer too” okay rafe 😭😭😭😭

i’m shocked jj didn’t die up there

GROFF STABBED HIM??????

poor kie having to go through that :(

“take care of the others, okay?” was so gentle

ohhh my god he died. he’s dead. our boy is dead WHAT THE HELL

the flashbacks ohhhh go to hell

groff you will pay oh my god

oh this is dark

rafe not now 😭

oh my that ending.

next season gonna be crazy, sarah pregnant, pogues turned to killers, rafe and kiara probably gonna end up together lord give me strength .