#these are all over the place topic wise and emotion wise

[theealbatross]

Sebastian x Reader: i love you, it's ruining my life (One Shot)

Plot | Sebastian has the worst insomnia known to man and you are not dating him. Tags | none, fluff, slytherin!reader, bad english accent attempt by me, repressed feelings, unhealthy attachment, codependency, teenagers trying to process trauma together, mentions of nightmares, they are both 17 years old [A/N : FUCK JK ROWLING!!!!!!! Also I just needed to write something and somehow a depressed Slytherin boy was just the one to cure my insane writer's block. Enjoy!]

I am not dating Sebastian Sallow, is what you kept saying yet no one seems to ever believe you. Even Natty, bless her kind soul, gave you a look so incredulous as the words went out of your mouth that you couldn’t help but be confused yourself -- were you dating Sebastian?

“I’m not trying to be nosy, my friend. I’m just concerned.”

“About what?” This has been the third person this month with that same irritating expression on their face. Pity.

“I thought … you were always together that I just assumed there was … something.”

You blinked, trying not to let your face slip, afraid that your ever observant friend would read too much into each emotion.

“Well, there’s nothing. So you and the others can –”

“There are others?!”

You widened her eyes, telling Natty to drop it and she wisely did. “The rest of you can stop reporting his rendezvous to me. Understood?”

“There you are!”

Merlin, will the cruel gods of fate ever give you a break?

The deep voice from the door cut through half of the conversations in your table as Sebastian jogged towards you. “Morning, pet.”

He casually grabbed your head gently, pressing a kiss on top of it, before settling down by straddling the chair so he was facing you. “Hey Natty, got lost?”

It wasn’t unheard of for students to not stick to the assigned tables on their houses but it was still odd, especially for someone like Natty who much preferred the company of like-minded people. Always said that the quiet and whispers in the Slytherin table made her uneasy.

Natty looked from you, to him, to the arms that was hidden under the table but was no doubt placed on your waist, subtly but insistently pulling you closer. You silently pleaded for her to ignore it which she thankfully did with a sigh.

“Not at all, Sebastian. Just trying to keep our friend company before you undoubtedly steal her away for the day.”

He didn’t even pretend to be offended by the accusation, only chuckling good-heartedly. “You can be welcome to tag along just for today.”

“Wouldn’t want to intrude. And with the trouble the two of you get into I’d be grounded by my mother for the rest of my life.”

The three of them laughed at that. The conversation thankfully flowing easier and away from the initial topic. Once Ominis arrived and Poppy was called over it was like fifth-year again. The initial circle you had formed has always been a source of comfort, no longer having to have your guard up all the time especially as easy conversation flowed between each other.

“I got some new books for you, just got delivered an hour ago. We should read it tonight.”

You fed him a piece of bread in your hands, knowing that his growing appetite has not been satiated by the plate he made for himself but he would be too lazy to make a new one and would just rather take bits and pieces from your own. “Just for me, huh?”

He grabbed a tuft of grapes before feeding you one as well before he demolished the entire thing. You couldn’t help but giggle when he spat out a small branch that managed to sneak into his mouth.

“It’s that new muggle series you love, paid off one of Ominis’ servant to line for it so you wouldn’t have to sneak out of Hogwarts like I know you had planned to tonight.”

You could feel your face heating up at the fact that he knew you too damn well. “You know I don’t like you spending money on me, Sebastian.”

“Well, you’re gonna be reading it to me so technically I’m spending money for me.”

You gave him a look but he quickly evaded it by feeding you another pair of grapes.

Sebastian had been haunted by nightmares after last year’s events. Ones so bad that the nurse feared he would be a bit too dependent on sleeping potions at such a young age. Thankfully, the two of you had found a solution together, after a late night studying in the Undercroft reading your notes aloud hoping it would stick into your head a bit better – you had turned to find your companion snoring away beside you.

At first, the two of you thought it was the history lesson that put him right to slumber so you borrowed tons of history books in the library for him to read before he slept but an enchanted note later and you were dragging your sleepy self and a blanket out of your chambers as you read about the History of Magic in his bed.

It was that night that you had been eternally grateful that he had no other roommate but Ominis. Especially when you found out that Sebastian was apparently a horrible koala when asleep.

“That’s just –”

“What are you two whispering about?”

You actually jumped, pushing Sebastian away as if the soft voice behind them reminded you of how they had actually drifted closer than what was appropriate.

“Arieta,” Sebastian greeted her with a raised brow, seemingly confused why the Ravenclaw was this far off the room not even all that affected that his new girlfriend just caught him being a bit too comfortable with another girl.

“Sebby!” she shrieked prettily, quickly recovering and pulling on his arm. “We have History of Magic together, remember? You know I can’t survive that class without your shoulder to sleep on.”

She can hear Ominis choke on a laugh yet Arieta shot you a look like it was your fault.

“I, uh,” Sebastian turned to your table, now fully aware that everyone was staring at him with various expression on their faces. “Right, let’s go.”

Ever the gentleman, Sebastian was quick to grab the books in Arieta’s arm as she held on to his hand and dragged him towards the doors.

“Arieta, huh, wouldn’t have pegged her as territorial one,” Natty chuckled, you chucked a grape at her. “What? I am only speaking my mind. Might have to watch out for that one or she might just drag poor Sebastian away from –”

Just before she finished her sentence Sebastian came bounding down the path once again stopping just beside you, catching his breath. “Hey, you’re mine tonight, okay? No adventures.”

His wording left so much to be misinterpreted that even Poppy’s eyes nearly popped out of her head, damn near resembling those mooncalfs she loves so much.

"I stand corrected," Natty muttered.

“Sebby!” Arieta screamed at the end of the hallway.

Merlin’s beard.

“I’m coming!” He threw her an impatient look before holding on to your chin so you were looking at him and forcing you to nod. “No adventures.”

This time the embarrassment of the absolute mess that was unfolding before your unfinished breakfast have overwhelmed your brain that you could only nod with him.

“No adventures.”

Sebastian smiled, one of those real, bright ones that makes your body malfunction and your heart to stop beating. Pressing one last kiss on the top of your head and managing to wave to your shared friends he was off and gone through the double doors.

The entire table was left in silence and you had hoped they would let this go but Natty couldn’t give you that mercy as she cleared her throat.

“Well, now I got even more questions.”

You’re not dating Sebastian Sallow you just think about him a lot.

You weren’t as daft as the rest of them have probably assumed. You did think there was a lot more than friendship between Sebastian and you. But with all the things that the two of you had been through it was difficult to pinpoint what it exactly was aside from their unusually intense loyalty to each other.

Was it a trauma bond? Was it just their kindred spirits refusing to let the one soul who understood them go? Did everything that they went through, the secrets they keep, the curses they threw to protect each other become the bloody ribbon that held the unhealthy attachment they had to each other? It could be love. But it could be a whole lot more complicated than that.

That’s what they were. They were complicated.

After the nightmare that was your fifth year the two of you had kept to yourselves with Ominis in tow, trying to keep as low as profile as possible and give your poor professors a break. With your newfound infamy as the ‘Hero of Hogwarts’ (blergh) and the dark secret you three were desperately keeping for Sebastian, the best you could hope for was to blend in with the rest of the nameless students in Hogwarts.

That agreement got shot into hell when your dear friend Sebastian Sallow proved to be one of the best beaters in Hogwarts’ long, long history. It was a dare that exploded in your own face to try out and irritate Imelda but when he had accidentally proven to be a bit too good at it their mutual friend clutched at him with her demanding claws and put him through the ringer until he got spat out decent enough to be one of the soldiers to secure the honor of their noble house and win the Quidditch cup this year.

Piled on top of that development was his connection to the Gaunt family, the Hero of Hogwarts, and the rumor of his hefty trust fund waiting for him the moment he turns 18 – Sebastian Sallow, just as the gods intended, became the most eligible bachelor of his age.

And thus your hell begun.

The silent charm he always had with him grew with his stature. He clearly enjoyed the attention after having hid his pretty bloody face behind dangerous books all year last year that it was almost like he was compensating for the hearts he could’ve broken. Every moon it was a different girl looped around his arms and every month it was a different friend reporting to you that your presumed ‘boyfriend’ was found snogging a goddamn Gryffindor in the Three Broomsticks.

It was annoying, confusing, and you were getting sick of it.

“Over here.”

Before you could find the source of the voice you knew all too well, a door had already opened and you were quickly pulled into an empty room – well, room was being generous as it was more of a storage space than anything.

“Sebastian!”

“Shh,” you gawked when his opened palm muffled your voice as he firmly presses it on your mouth. The unmistakable sounds of footsteps and a softer call of his name echoed the hallway outside the door. When the footsteps faded and disappeared, he had the nerve to give you a lopsided grin that turned your face red in irritation. Definitely in irritation.

Nothing quite like being forced to face the boy who had been running around your head all day.

“Sorry bout that, pet,” he chuckled, leaning on the wall an arms-length way from you. “I’m not too good with break-ups, especially when they say no.”

“Must be horrifying,” you sniped shortly, also pressing your back on the nearest wall to give you as much space as possible – it would just be absolutely mortifying to faint because your heart was beating too fast it was like it was trying to escape. “Are you gonna explain why you’ve kidnapped me in this dingy room?”

“Come on now, don’t be short with me. I just wanted to hang out with you ‘s all.”

“You want to hang out with me …. Inside a closet?”

He shrugged, “I never see you anymore these days.”

Ah, the nightmares must be back. She tries to swallow down the bitter taste in her mouth.

“That’s not my fault, Sebastian.”

At least he looked guilty. And absolutely miserable.

In the few weeks you had taken your eyes off him it would seem he had another growth spurt. Do boys just not stop growing ever? Looking up at him was starting to get painful. Plus, all those drills they run to prepare for every game had done nothing but well for his physique. You couldn’t help but run your eyes to his broad chest and shoulders before you caught yourself and nearly screamed in horror.

“Hey, I’m sorry,” Rough hands grabbed one of yours. He bent his knees so he could look in your eyes as you now outright refuse to meet his, in anger for the absolute shit friend he had been the past months or in embarrassment that you so casually checked him out you’re not quite sure. “I … I got distracted but I missed you. You know I prefer your company over any other.”

Those damned brown eyes, not even the poor light in the windowless room could dull its effect on you. “Flattery will get you nowhere.”

Your harsh words did not match with the growing smile on your face you failed to suppress. He mirrored your grin, “Do you still have classes?”

You shook your head.

He damn near vibrated in glee. Merlin, you did miss him.

“Let me steal you away.”

In a flash, Sebastian grabbed a hold of your hand to survey the hall one last time before dragging you out of the room and into the nearest Floo. You barely caught the surprise and anger in his ex-girlfriend’s eyes as she gawked by the stairs before you got swallowed up by a green flash of powder.

“Boathouse.”

You’re not dating Sebastian Sallow because this is definitely not a date.

You wouldn’t think the Boathouse would be a romantic place but with the lack of students, the dimming sun and a gorgeous boy leading you in the inside of it for privacy – you couldn’t help but think that anyone who would pass by would be well within their right to think you had become another notch in Sebastian Sallow’s belt.

You’re not sure how you feel about that. A greater witch would’ve been offended but maybe you’re no better than the knots in his belt.

“Sit here.”

Sebastian spread out a worn-out black robe on the ground, patting on it expectantly. Before you could do it yourself, he was already kneeling beside you and removing your shoes and socks. The intimate act forced you to hold your breath, making sure you controlled your face so your jaw doesn’t fall to the floor as he slowly pulled on your socks, gently plopping them on the edge and letting the Black Lake’s water tickle your feet as they dangled.

When you were settled, he nonchalantly laid his head down on your lap. Gods, help you.

“Comfortable, aren’t you?”

He made a dramatic noise of satisfaction, even wiggling in your lap to show his assent. A giggle slipped out of your mouth at the absolute gall of him, your hands naturally falling in his soft, thick, brown hair to play with it.

“What had you been up to, pet?” he mumbles, eyes never leaving your face although you find yourself unable to do the same as you opted to look around the architecture of the Boathouse you rarely visit.

“Nothing much,” you shrugged. “Although I did find that swimming in the Forbidden Forest’s Lake was surprisingly relaxing.”

He hummed, not even surprised at your little antics when you leave his line of sight. The boy had definitely pulled you out of worse situations than roaming around the Forbidden Forest. “You should take me some time. Merlin knows relaxing is what I need.”

A scoff escaped your mouth as you rolled your eyes.

“Yeah, right after I duel your newest girlfriend for the honor of getting to take you out.”

He poked your side at that, “As entertaining that would be you know all you have to do is send me an owl and I’d trek up to Maurenweem for you.”

Your face clearly showed you didn't believe him and he frowned. Carefully, you ran a finger in-between his brows where a frown formed to relax it.

At this angle you could see the toll the sleepless nights he must’ve been having had on him. If the bags on his eyes was any indication it must’ve been a few nights now. You ran your hands on his hair earning you a satisfied hum as he dangled his hand on the edge of the ledge to play with the water below.

“When was the last time you slept?”

He popped one eye open but your gentle touch proved too much as he closed it again with an even longer hum. “A few hours last night.”

“You should’ve woken me up.”

He gently shook his head, grabbing your free hand so he can hold it by his stomach.

“I didn’t wanna bother you.”

“Oh please, Sebastian.”

He chuckled at that, gripping on your hand tightly as he let out a heavy breath. “The nightmares … I thought it’s been better. Barely had any a few months ago. But now it’s just gotten worse.”

The confession broke your heart. Sebastian was not a vulnerable person; despite his usually easy and cheerful demeanor he was quick to wall himself in at the first sign of trouble. You would bet galleons of gold he still feels horrible of all the things he put you through and it was truly in desperation when he had called you over to help him through his insomnia. Which was also why you had welcomed the responsibility with open arms.

“Care to tell? Is it still about Anne?”

His estranged twin has been forefront of most of his darkest nightmares but he shook his head again and for that you were thankful he was spared that at least. “Solomon? Ominis?”

He opened his eyes; it was full of overflowing guilt and fear. And when it seemed he could no longer keep it to himself he sighed, “It’s about you. That’s the reason why I couldn’t …”

The revelation had your blood freezing. “What?”

He sat up, now facing you and taking both of your hands. “I’m only telling you this because you are my best friend and to remind you that none of this is ever your fault. You haven’t done a thing wrong, in fact, I can’t think how I would’ve gotten past any of this if it wasn’t for you.”

You held on to his hands tighter. “Sebastian, you’re scaring me.”

He shook his head, pulling you closer as if to comfort. Why was he comforting you when it was him who had been terrorized by this dream version of you. It was irrational to be mad but how could you not be when apparently you had become one of his problems while you were simultaneously desperately trying to fix it.

A palm on your cheeks pulled you out of your self-loathing.

“All of my dreams … it was of the people I love leaving me. Anne never forgiving me for the rest of my life, Ominis turning me in …”

“Oh, Sebastian,” you buried a sob on the crook of his neck, your hand roping around his back so you can rub on his back comfortingly while he lets everything out.

“And … and every time it happens my brain drives itself insane thinking of plans of what I would do if those nightmares came true. That’s the reason why I couldn’t sleep.” You looked up at him through your lashes but never leaving your spot even as he brings your legs out of the water and over his until you were in his lap.

“But then … they turned to you.” His voice dropped so low you almost shivered. “And for the life of me I just couldn’t … see an out of that. If I lost you – If you gave up on me I … I think I’d turn myself in Azkaban myself.”

“Sebastian I would never –”

“I know that,” he whispered. “But I still can’t – I can’t let it go. I can’t let go of these doubts and fear.”

This time he rubbed the back of his neck, embarrassed. “That’s why I keep hanging out with all those girls.”

You raised your head in confusion, taking a better look at him.

“I thought if I loved you less, my nightmares would be kinder.”

The breath got caught in your throat. What is he – does he mean –

“But I couldn’t do that either,” He sighed, rubbing a hand on his face, clearly frustrated. “So I’ve decided. I’d rather go insane, let the nightmares do their worst because I am done pretending I don’t love you. I’m done avoiding you, I’m done pretending you aren’t the only light in my life. I’m done. And I love you.”

A fully grown crying Mandrake could drop from the sky and you don’t think you would’ve heard it over your own heart. You could barely comprehend anything but that his grip on your waist was so tight it was almost painful and that his pleading, terrified eyes was in the perfect angle that the late dying sun made it look like it was in a golden fire.

And that Sebastian Sallow … is in love with you. Just as madly as you were with him.

“I’m not forcing you into anything. I needed to let it out. If you want, I fully intend to formally court you until –”

“I love you.” You could no longer bear to put him in such misery. As long as you were alive, he would not question the adoration you’ve felt for him that just kept growing since the first day he had taken you to Hogsmeade. “I love you, Sebastian.”

Just for a moment there was quiet then he burst out laughing. “Thank you, darling." His body visibly shuddered as he sighed in relief, burying his face in your chest. "I’ve already planned to throw myself off the highest cliff in Hogwarts if this had gone south.”

You wrapped your hands around his neck, accepting the gentlest kisses on your neck. “Don’t say that. I plan to be your girlfriend for a very long time.”

His body shook from laughing, this time a kiss under your jaw, “Not that long I hope?”

You frowned, pulling away from him, though his unrelenting hold prevented much space to be in between the two of you. “What do you mean?”

“Well,” his thumbs rubbed circles on your thigh, now seemingly shy. “If all goes well, I had hoped to be engaged by the time we graduate. You won’t be just my girlfriend then.”

"You bastard," You gawked, laughing at his proclamation. The happiness was overflowing in your chest that you couldn’t help but just squeeze him into you hoping maybe that your souls would fuse with each other.  “You haven’t even kissed me yet and you’re already pre-proposing?”

He licked his lips, his sleepless eyes now full of vigor. “Ah, we gotta fix that, don’t we, pet?”

“We’re dating.”

Natty sighed in relief.

Poppy clapped.

Garreth passed Imelda a silver coin.

"Excuse me," Ominis muttered, standing up. “I'm gonna request a room change to the Headmaster.”

[hatosaur]

it's pretty implied that ellie never came out to joel in the proper sense. she lets him assume that she's into men, gives him the false satisfaction of "seeing" her "crush" on jesse, does not correct him. she's fairly confident in being gay in public for others to see and having others close to her know; so why not correct him? why dodge the topic?

was it out of fear? could it be that she never broached the topic despite being close to him in the early years because of the possibility of his reaction being negative? that she was afraid that out of all things that could force them apart (further apart after they split), him reacting badly to her being gay would be the worst?

what about at the dance? would she have been as wound up as she was if the moment hadn't been an encounter with a vicious homophobe? maybe she would've still snapped without this context, but why is she immediately on the defensive against joel after he sticks up for her?

what about the porch scene? why did she refute his question of dina being her girlfriend so insecurely, looking away, nervously and quietly stumbling over words? why isn't she mean about it? why doesn't she get defensive at the question? why did she lash out again when he expressed acceptance?

i think these scenes revolving around her queerness indicate it as such; that ellie never told joel for fear of a response, that she lets him think what he wants because that's the easiest way for it to be. then, when she's ready to face off against a homophobe, because that's the way things are, that's what she can expect, and joel defends her, she lashes out.

it's such a clear juxtaposition of support and hatred between joel and seth, and being faced with joel's acceptance is too much, makes her turn to the anger she'd been holding onto and reinforce what she thinks is true -- that she doesn't need him. and in the fallout, as her regret dawns on her, so too does the realization; he was protecting her, like always, without hesitation, over this thing she was always afraid he wouldn't accept her for.

in the porch scene, joel chooses his words wisely, and asks if dina is her girlfriend -- not "so you're gay?" or "why did you never tell me?" or "how long has this been a thing?" -- with such a casuality that it seems to throw her off. it's like ellie can hardly get the words out. she refutes the idea, fumbles for each following part of her response, is tense. she wasn't prepared for the question.

and when he finally asserts his support for her, in as explicit terms as he can, you can see ellie become emotional, touched for a moment but overcome, before she launches into the defensive again, exactly like at the dance scene -- meeting his kindness with hostility as a way to cope with her emotions.

and then, in response to her basically saying her life doesn't matter, he affirms that it does.

so he's now affirmed two things that ellie has doubted: that he accepts her being a lesbian, and that her life matters. a conflation of the two, in ellie's mind, may have come after; and after that, her olive branch.

and yeah, him affirming these things for her is fully in the context of his overwhelming parental love for her and her complex feelings about being the cure, but within a queer subtext, it means more. it's such a familiar thing to slink around loved ones and hide being gay/queer for fear of any type of response, and lying by omission in conversation just to keep that state of peace, of normalcy. ellie, with all her brutishness and bravery, falls into it like anyone else, because even while mad at him, she valued that response from him.

a lot of people seem to think that the approach to ellie's queerness is nonchalant, that it's just some unrelated thing about her, but i think that it holds more weight in the narrative that what is explicitly spelled out. it's subtle but it was a deliberate choice to place her queerness at the center of the confrontation. i think that's why ellie's relationship with dina took center stage in the story, and why so much time is devoted to just them -- because her being queer matters to her character, but in a way that perhaps only a queer person can see, analyze, and appreciate (without being blatant enough to anger certain other fans).

[marimology]

Pairing: ichiji vinsmoke x charlotte! trans masc reader

notes: smut, cnc (consensual) , arranged marriage ( mentions sanji and pudding), somewhat romeo and juliet inspired trope, Getting caught, almost getting caught, only ‘person?’ who knows about the relationship is y/n’s door because it lets them know if someone is nearby, transponder snail sex (phone sex), this is me letting my brain cook like sanji , cuckholding

a/n : I love this red headed loser, also my requests are open , ichiji is a girl dad argue with the wall

ICHIJI VINSMOKE who did not expect to fall in love with the 7th son of Charlotte LinLin when he and his family came over came over to whole cake to discuss the marriage between sanji and pudding. ears perking as you heard that they would be here for the next four months.

ICHIJI VINSMOKE who when he saw you sitting next to mama his heart would flutter whenever you would try to hold a conversation with him and you would stop as you noticed big mom staring down at you.

ICHJI VINSMOKE who after a month of being on whole cake finally got the courage to ask you out con a date and being surprised when you said yes but you two would have to choose wisely as the public only knew about Sanji and puddings wedding. so he took you out for a picnic underneath a bridge.

ICHIJI VINSMOKE who loved to leave hickeys around your body but in places where you would be able to hide them after every day so you wouldn’t get in trouble with your family and vise versa.

ICHIJI VINSMOKE who loves to threaten you with cumming inside of you every time that you both fuck so that you could walk around with his baby and your family would be wondering whose the father.

ICHIJI VINSMOKE who once him and his family left whole cake,missed the touch of your skin and your velvet walls clenching around his cock begging him not to cum inside of you, and your whimpers as you felt his cock form a bludge in your belly .

ICHIJI VINSMOKE who loves to call you after a raid, jerking off to your wanted poster each time your bounty raises saying that he’d turn you into the marines only after fucking you in front of them first. you both have memorized your respective family members sleep schedules memorized as you would masturbate on a call together as the transponder snail would capture all of your pretty noises.

it has now been over a year

ICHIJI VINSMOKE who kept a calendar hidden in his room where he’d count down the days until the next time they’d go to whole cake so he could show you how much he missed you and could pepper your skin with kisses once more, and that night he brought up the topic of getting married in secret which you happily said yes to with tears forming and he wears a cape on his suit that has a button / ring that’s actually his wedding ring whilst you wear yours as a pair of earrings

ICHIJI VINSMOKE who only hated sanji more because he couldn’t publicly say that you were his husband.

sanji vinsmoke who when walking past ichiji’s room heard him end a call with a “love you” but couldn’t pick out who he was talking to … it’s not like he wanted to anyways he care less as to what that asshole was doing he knew he couldn’t feel any emotion towards anyone

ICHIJI VINSMOKE who as soon as Germa docked back on whole cake and they had sanji meet pudding. went to find you in your room and embraced you in the warmest hug that you’ve ever felt and it was your first embrace as husbands. and later that night had you whimpering on his cock and told you how much he missed you as your brain was being turned into mush as you were being forced to take his cock after being overstimulated.

ICHIJI VINSMOKE who was happy that straw-hat came wanting to save sanji because that meant that if sanji leaves then he could publicly marry you

brulee charlotte who should’ve minded her own damn business when she was looking through her mirror realm and saw you being made to look at the mirror by a siluette that she couldn’t make out nor did she want to

yonji vinsmoke who wanted to spar with you and went to your room and asked your door to speak with you but was pissed off when it said you were busy and snuck around to try and see what you possibly could’ve been doing that was more important than sparring with him and almost falling over when he saw the sight of you sitting on his brothers lap taking his dick with your face buried in his neck and a Visual Den Den Mushi recording every moment of it as ichiji whispered praises. he should’ve minded his own damn business, but he could see the love in his brothers eyes as he looked you

ICHIJI VINSMOKE who’s heart shattered when big mom announced that she had arranged a marriage between you and a princess from a neighboring kingdom. and you both spared quick glances at eachother, but the poor girl clearly looked like she was in love

later that same night he took both you and the girl to your room and fucked you in front her. telling her that she’d never get a chance to feel how good you are and she should just go somewhere and die because she’s a homewrecker.

And ironically she was found dead the next day and you didn’t know who it was that killed her….. it was ichiji

YOU AND ICHIJI who took the chance to feign your own deaths during the fight between the big mom pirates ,vinsmokes, and straw hats and ran away to be able to live a happy life together only yonji knows you two are still alive

ICHIJI VINSMOKE who is definitely not the worlds most perfect husband but is happy that you even decided to give him a chance

it’s been four years since that day and everyone mourns the lost of you two but little do they know you both live in the same secluded town with your older sister lola and are raising 2 children

TAGLIST: @henrioo @gomugomuslip

©marimology do not steal or copy my work

[pearlywritings]

Alive

synopsis: the fall of your homeland is a catastrophe as it is, however, it's not only the home you and your husband lost. It's just a miracle you didn't lose each other.

prompt: 21

requested by: a lovely anon

pairing: Pierro x fem!reader

tw: angst, hurt/comfort, established relationship, pre-Fatui Pierro (he is more open and emotional), topic of pregnancy and children, a couple of my personal headcannons about Khaenri'ah and how the curse affects the body. [...] - is used in places where Pierro and reader use their real names.

word count: 1.3k+ words in total

a/n: part of my Token of appreciation writing event! Closed now, still have 1 more requests to write. Also this fic is from the same AU my other fic is - Behind the wall of falling snow we love. You can check it if you'd like some more

Bright Sumeru sun is blinding and the evergreen forests are dizzying when you look long enough. And yet [...] forces his eyes to take in the life itself blooming in front of him, tired gaze mindlessly following the movement of a red butterfly, flying by. Red. Red, red, red, r e d╴

Khaenri’ahn stars hide behind the eyelids, fingers clenching in a fist unconsciously. So much blood, everything is dirtied by the curse. To this very second he can hardly endure it - two months later and it still haunts him as if he’s back there, at the beginning of the end. Screams, cries, loud screeching of machines, rumbling of collapsing buildings and deafening booming of explosions… It’s hard to forget, he believes he never will. There is blood on his hands yet he hasn’t killed anyone. He only tried to save, but he managed to save only one╴

The one he can’t imagine his life without.

The one the healer is examining behind his turned back. This old man was tolerable, he kept his mouth shut about two refugees from the fallen nation hiding here, above the surface and under the sun. The two previous ones had to go.

“Your wife’s condition is better,” the silver-haired man shivers, torn from his thoughts and finally lets go of the blindfold, dimming the natural light inside this small house you had luck buying. Your love for wearing jewelry and the rules that dictated adorning his mage’s robes in those helped you both survive so far.

“Be more specific,” he demands, returning to the bed, gaze immediately on your body, resting under the covers. Your eyes, equally as mysterious, momentarily dart from the healer to your husband. Before you could even lift a hand resting atop the duvet, he already leans in and slides his palm under yours, squeezing.

“The healing process is complete,” you see the way his breath shakes when your beloved exhales in relief. Fingers flex around yours in a comforting gesture. “I can’t get rid of this curse mark, but I succeeded in eliminating the harm it caused to her internal organs. But,” the wise man looks at you, no longer talking to the man at your side and his gaze turns sorrowful. Your heart stops in fear, knowing what he is about to confirm. “As I said before - I am afraid you won’t have children again. Ever. From what is known of the medicine right now - the closeness of your reproductive organs to the fetus most likely made them more exposed to the damage. On the bright side, I estimate that this factor won’t stop you from continuing living your life. I am still not sure how exactly this ‘disease’ got into your body, however from my observations over you I can state with all confidence - it’s a miracle you stayed alive, dear.”

It’s a miracle you stayed alive.

Big hand squeezes around yours. He doesn’t know yet, that the two of you were cursed with immortality, he doesn’t know yet, that sooner or later even the damage of the severely cursed part of your body would’ve naturally healed either way (not completely, but still). All he knows right now is that there was a possibility of him losing you.

When the healer leaves your humble abode - this one deserves to live - you ask your lover to help you sit, which he does and immediately takes a seat on the edge of your simple bed (it groans a little under his burly mass, but you both ignore it). He still hasn't let go of your hand.

A few moments are spent in silence. You are deep in your own unease, while he is wrecking his head over the way to start the conversation. Gently. He doesn’t want to bring those memories back - how the curse targeted the weakest spot in your body - your womb, how he had to save you, to make a life-changing decision of ridding your body off what was slowly killing you - *your own unborn child*... How he used his best knowledge in healing magic to keep you stable and get you out of the falling land. Everything else is a blur. But everything else doesn’t matter.

All that matters is that you are alive.

“My heart,” he starts slowly, but these two words are enough to gather your attention, “I am relieved to know you are alright. Forgive me my selfish desires, but I can’t fathom a thought of losing you, of spending the rest of my life without you. I ask a lot from you, but, please,” he covers the hand he is already holding with his other one, “I know it’s hard, but I beg you not to forget the happy days we spent together, the love we share,” your gaze falls to the wedding bracelets clasped around your wrists and your heart clenches when you hear desperation in his voice, “and above all, do not let go of your desire to live… For any reason, understood?”

“If you tell me this one more time, I will let go.”

Your abrupt response surprises you. You didn’t mean to lash out, but suddenly it just happened. Is it the brewing pain in your heart? The dull ache and emptiness in your stomach? The settling understanding of the loss and that life will never be the same? You don’t know. You feel too much.

He is taken aback and you notice. Eyes widen and anxiety settles in your heart - have you pushed him away?

"You know you are not guilty, [...]?" Your husband reaches to cup your cheek. You hopelessly cling to it with your free one, leaning into the warm palm, closing your eyes. "At that time nothing else could've been done."

"But if I was stronger, if my body was stronger-"

"But we were not, my heart. It's a cruel reality, but every time I see you I am so glad you were spared. Even if it happened like that."

He knows his words are cruel and he says them to your face now, raw and hurting, but that is the only truth he has. And he is not going to lie to the woman he vowed to treasure.

"Sorry for being rude, I didn’t mean it,” you swallow the lump in your throat, and the man beside you reassuringly caresses your cheek. He understands. “And sorry we have to have this conversation… I am not the only one hurt after all.”

"I am not mad, [...]. And you are the one who’s been hurt the most, so we will return to this topic as many times as you need. I will remind you that none of it is your fault,” his promise is soft and you make yourself believe it. He climbs next to you, wrapping an arm around your waist - gently, almost feather-lightly, - and brings you closer to his chest.

"I just really wish it wasn't our one and only chance to have a family," you snuggle into him, diving into the warmth of his body. "You don't hate me for it, right?"

"Of course I do not. There will never be a thing I'll hate you for."

"Thank you…"

"No, thank you for being alive."

He can feel your lips pulling in a small smile against his chest. He is aware that so little time is not enough to numb the mind and heart to the memories and that this pain is hard to heal - he is sure it never completely will, and even though he is pushing his own despair to the back of his head, he fully shares your hurt. He keeps reminding himself, that you got to stay alive and you are right here, he can see, touch, hold, love you…

And even in the frozen lands of your soon-to-be-destination he’ll continue doing so.

[likesomanywrecksdo]

fun fact: full moon made me throw up (srsly)

ALSO SPOILERSSSSSS FOR FULL MOON (HELLUVA BOSS S2 EP8)!!! DON'T READ IF U HAVEN'T WATCHED PLSSS

STOLITZ PART 1/2- STOLAS IN FULL MOON

I AM NOT A STOLAS HATER, I LOVE STOLAS WITH ALL MY HEART (i have two hearts, one for stolas and one for blitzø). JUST WANTED TO POINT OUT SOME THINGS HE COULD'VE HANDLED BETTER IN FULL MOON.

Look, I feel SO BAD that Stolas' beautiful love confession was (in Stolas' POV) basically ridiculed and that his first "ily" was a complete joke. I love Full Moon because it explored the many facets of both character's and their complexities.

So let's talk abt where Stolas went wrong in Full Moon (making a part abt Blitzø too, dw nobody is safe heheh)

Stolas knows this is a hard conversation, he's taken into account IMP and keeping it alive and everything but the way he approached the actual topic (deal getting cut off) was very rash. Stolas does not think wisely about his words ("i need it back...permanently" (18:15) + "there's no need, i've made up my mind" (18:39)). Even though Stolas is giving him an out, he does not understand the leverage he has over Blitzø. This is the main thing I noticed abt Stolas in Full Moon, He seems to have come to a realization abt how wrong their deal is but has not come to terms abt how wrong their dynamic is. So when Stolas was pouring his heart out abt how he "wants Blitzø to stay", he is not realizing that Blitzø still has not had time to process him taking away the book in the first place and saying Blitzø does not need to fuck him anymore. This is something that Stolas and only Stolas could ever have the power to do bc of the power dynamic between them. Stolas think he's doing Blitzø a favour but all he's doing is reminding Blitzø that no matter how hard he has worked, it can all dissapear at Stolas' command.

"Blitzø, I think so very highly of you....i didn't realize you think so low of me" (HES CRYING FROM BOTH PAIR OF EYES, MY BABYYYYY)

Stolas babe, if you call someone ur little impish plaything, literally hide ur face with a menu when u get spotted in public with him, literally give him no choice but to fuck you in order to have a livelihood and successful business, HOW IS THAT TELLING HIM U THINK HIGHLY OF HIM? Look, i get it, Stolas does rlly care abt Blitzø, but the problem is, Stolas doesn't see his actions as harmful, he sees the deal as harmful. Stolas doesn't understand that such a huge power, stature and literal socio-economic gap is going to cause some issues that no crystals can fix. Stolas' ingrained bigotry towards imps as well as desperation to escape from his awful marriage cause him to be impulsive and abuse that power, unconsciously.

Stolas' biggest character flaw is his impulsiveness. He realised his sexuality extremely late and now is trying to experience as many things as possible to get back his childhood. He did it through the deal so he could find enjoyment in one thing in his life as well as experience a pivotal point in his queer awakening. The Full Moon Talk, despite being under the guise of maturity, is just as impulsive as the arrangement. Stolas is expecting a certain answer and expecting it immediately. Stolas has had time to understand his emotions and he knew exactly what he wanted to say before Blitzø came. Blitzø came in blind and Stolas knows he's bad with his feeling EVERYONE KNOWS BC IT'S SO OBVIOUS, so the fact that Stolas was expecting some grand love confession when Stolas literally speedrun the difficult parts of the conversation is unfair.

[jyeshindra]

ALL ABOUT GEMINI RISING

Ah, we've made it to the witty chatterboxes of the zodiac, our lovely Gemini Risings! Let's go over the traits and energies of this dynamic, Mercury-ruled placement.

As a reminder, our ascendant is a very personal point in the chart. It is what we see when we gaze out into the horizon. What shall we claim? How do we see the world? And how does the rest of the world see us? In ways, I do believe our ascendant is more revealing than the sun sign. It tells the story of our soul's...why we are here and what we are meant to learn.

We begin with the chart ruler, Mercury. How does Mercury behave in the mutable, airy sign of Gemini? Especially when geared towards one's direction in life?

Mercury is a special planet, having no gender and being one of the fastest moving planets in astrology. In mythology Mercury is associated with tricksters, messengers, writers, and magicians. Mercury is here and there, playing both sides and aligning with motivations not entirely rooted in blacks and whites. Mercury is one to see the grays and to ask "why?". To seek out information and to feed their mind.

You are much like Mercury, Gemini Rising. What you wish to pursue is knowledge itself! You have curious souls that seek to know and explore everything. Information is valuable to you and you know how to get it and what questions to ask. Your mind is hungry and always searching for stimulation.

You are also a connector. Gemini, like the other air signs (and Virgo), are represented by humans, not animals. This speaks to your purpose Gemini which is to connect. You have an ability to understand the intricacies of a situation, of a people, of a culture, and make the necessary connections. If Aries pioneered the land and Taurus settled it, Gemini finds the trade routes and explores other parts of the land and the surrounding peoples.

These risings are often seen as scattered, talkative, and witty. They are blessed with the gift of gab and often charm those that they talk to with their youthful disposition and excitable mannerisms. Mercury makes these sensitive to stimuli and you can often spot a Gemini Rising by their plethora of expressions! You may seem all over the place to some, Gemini, but your mind is constantly assembling and processing and searching. It makes sense!

Appearance-wise, Mercury gives one a child-like or elfin appearance. I've seen these ascendants have bright eyes, a dazzling smile, and maybe even a high-pitched voice. They may also be wiry, with large foreheads and beautiful hands. Perhaps your face is adorned with glasses to give you your mercurial edge?

I believe it is you, Gemini who becomes the mirror for others. You are impressionable, taking on the characteristics of everyone you meet; their speech, their mannerisms, their thoughts even. You take what you need and leave the rest. You are changeable and always open to a conversation or to a new idea. It's this quality that makes you the perfect vessel for your soul's true desire; to reach large audiences and spread your information with the world!

I think with the Virgo 4th house, Gemini often had to teach themselves a lot. Information played a huge role in the household, either in proving oneself as knowledgeable or avoiding criticism from others. Perhaps the Gemini had siblings to care for, or parents who weren't really around. Or maybe there were overbearing guardians who left a sense of helplessness in the Gemini, so they compensate with information.

There may have been no room in your home environment for emotions, Gemini, and so you over-think everything. Your attention to detail is innate, and you can study any topic thoroughly and deeply (Scorpio 6th House), but you are, in ways, avoidant of your own emotional experience. In fact, all your water houses are in Earth, Gemini! This is also likely a sign that your ability to persist and stay strong, to persevere and commit, is a bit unconscious to you. There is some wound of authority here with that Capricorn 8th house, and perhaps your power lies in discipline. In applying yourself time and time again to master whatever it is that you wish to give to the world. 

There are beautiful things to be shared from your mind Gemini with this Pisces 10th House. You want to be seen in your multi-faceted-ness with all of your creative and awesome gifts. You want to be acknowledged and appreciated, not used or taken advantage of. Others may see you in a Piscean way when you take the stage, Gemini. You may have many different things going on at once, or you become someone who can reach a lot of different people. You may change careers a lot! Some famous Gemini Risings include Gordon Ramsey (restaurants feat. world cuisine is very Piscean), Drew Barrymore (isn't she the sweetest?), and Mindy Kaling (so many different projects!)

Lastly, the Taurus 12th house speaks to an inner beauty and artistry within you Gemini. Truly you come from the Earth, with a purity in you that seeks to understand everything in this earthly plane. No stone shall be left unturned! You have left behind a more solid approach to something more airy and exciting. There is so much for you to learn Gemini! But do not forget to rest! Do not forget you come from the Earth and you shall return to the Earth. Take care of your body, eat good food, cover yourself in oils and balms, and appreciate the body you have been given. Your mind is beautiful, but so is the rest of you, Gemini! Adorn it.

Your 7th House is ruled by Sagittarius, indicating you need partnerships that allow you to step outside of your comfort zone and explore your physical reality. You may stay glued to your screens or to your books or to your own mind when you truly do yearn to see and experience and live. Sagittarius will teach you this Gemini, that there is much to be learned and wisdom to be gained from LIVING. You want someone who can teach you about the world and brings you depth and perspective.

You will learn so much through your experiences Gemini and you must acknowledge the darkness within your own heart. That Capricorn 8th house may urge you to close it forever. Fear and paranoia may surround you in matters of merging, despite your desire to connect everything. Dive fearlessly into your own abyss, for this is the power of Capricorn! The strength to persevere and overcome!

That's all for the Gemini Risings for this week. Next week we'll dig into the Cancer Ascendant and discover more about these lovely Moon-ruled folk.

[theyhavetakenovermylife]

Over Mountains and Sea part 2

2003!Leonardo x reader

Part 1

—-----------------------------------------------

The reader misses her best friend, and decides to take a trip to Japan to surprise him and talk things out💙

Warnings: None, other than spelling of course.

—------------------------------------------------

The sun dipped below the horizon, casting hues of orange and pink across the serene landscape of the Japanese mountainside. Between the tranquil rocks and cliffs, nestled among cherry blossoms further down the valley, Leonardo practiced his katas under the watchful eye of the wise Ancient One.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the world, you couldn't shake the feeling of emptiness that consumed you in Leonardo's absence. Master Splinter’s decision to send his oldest son to Japan for advanced training and gaining emotional control under the Ancient One had left a void in your heart. You missed your best friend. You knew Leo had had a hard time over the last few months. You haven’t talked about it. The few times you had tried to open up a conversation on the topic, Leo had shut it down, hard and fast. Not even Usagi had been able to make him talk. It was heartbreaking to watch Leo struggle from afar. It only made it more unbearable with the feelings you had developed for your best friend. You watched the man you loved struggle and leave without a word, leaving you back with many questions.

But unable to endure the separation any longer, you made the bold decision to embark on a journey to reunite with him. When you asked Master Splinter for direction, you had expected him to tell you off - that this was Leonardo’s journey and not yours. But instead he smiled and told you where to go.

The journey was arduous, but fueled by determination and love. You meet giants that sensed the meaning of your journey, and sent you in the right direction. As you left the way they had told you, you heard them talk about how; “the little baby won’t stay angry for long”.

You meet traveling ghosts along the roadside, that all left you in peace. As you notice them pass, you couldn’t help but wonder, did Leo meet any of these on his way to the Ancient One?

You finally reached the mountains where Leonardo honed his skills for the past few weeks. The air was thick with the scent of cherry blossoms in the valley as you went up the mountain pass, approaching the place the Ancient One had been training Leo, your heart pounding with a mix of anxiety and anticipation.

Leonardo and the Ancient One was meditating in the mountains. Both of them balancing with their legs crossed on a bamboo stick that was placed over a deep drop. The wind blew, causing the tails of Leo’s bandana and the braid on the Ancient One to sway in the breeze.

The Ancient One noticed a new presence amongst the mountains, before you ever came into view. He already knew you were the girl Leonardo had told him about, and a small smile spread on his lips. He rose from his seated position on the bamboo, before jumping back onto safe ground, causing Leonardo to look at him in slight confusion.

"Sometimes, destiny brings those we care about back into our lives", he remarked cryptically, stroking his thin beard.

“Sensei, what are you talking about?”

“You have a visitor, Kumquat”.

“What?!” Leo jumped from the bamboo and next to his master. He had a slight suspicion of who this visitor might be, but he didn’t dare to hope. Because that could be exactly just that - a hope.

You turned the corner of the rocks and came into view. Leo eyes widened in disbelief, unable to comprehend that you stood before him in the very place he sought solace and growth. The Ancient One started chuckling low enough for only him to hear. It was like watching history repeat itself. Leonardo and his brothers may not have been related to Hamato Yoshi in any way, but the Ancient One saw much of his adopted son in the mutant turtle.

"(Y/N)?" Leonardo's voice, a mixture of surprise and joy.

A smile tugged at your lips as you met his gaze. "Hey, Leo", you greeted, your voice carrying the weight of the emotions you had bottled up for so long.

Leonardo approached you, his eyes scanning your face as if to confirm that you were real. The Ancient One took this as his sign to leave, and started walking down the path you had just followed, continuing to chuckle to himself. He couldn’t wait to tell Splinter about this.

"What are you doing here?" Leo asked, his tone a blend of curiosity and concern.

"I couldn't stand being so far away from you," you admitted, your gaze unwavering. "I missed you, Leo. I’ve hated not being able to talk to you".

Leo sighed, a mix of guilt and gratitude etched on his features. "I didn't think anyone would follow me all the way here."

"Some journeys are worth taking," you replied, a soft determination in your eyes. "I had to see you, Leo. I couldn't let you go without telling you how much you mean to me. You’re my best friend and I wish to talk to you and help you".

Leonardo's gaze softened. He remembered all those times you had tried to talk about his thoughts and his struggles, and all those times he had shut you out. He still remembered the hurt on your face clearly, and the fear in your eyes after he had hurt Master Splinter. And yet, you still followed him all the way to Japan to talk to him. You never gave up on him, and you never turned your back to him. With that realization, Leonardo couldn’t help but think of the words of wisdom the Ancient One had spoken to him.

Leo gestured for you to follow him, and so you did, down the path until you came to the valley of cherry trees. The two of you sat down underneath them, the petals of cherry blossoms danced around you like whispers of fate.

Leo started picking at the grass under him, unsure on how to explain himself towards you. He decided to start with what he thought to be the most pressing matter. How much he had missed you too.

"I thought about you every day", he confessed, his eyes staying the grass in his hands. "Training here has been intense, and I've grown in ways I never imagined. But there was always something missing".

You reached out, gently placing your hand on his, making him look you in the eyes. "You weren't missing, Leo. You were just in a different part of my world".

Leo swallowed hard, his vulnerability surfacing. "I didn't realize how much I needed you until now. Not even back home. I’ve always cared for you, I really have, but I thought I could bury these feelings and focus on my training, but seeing you here..."

A tender smile played on your lips as you finished his sentence, "Changed everything?"

He nodded, a mixture of relief and uncertainty in his eyes.

"I feel the same way, Leo", you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper. "Being without you made me realize that my world is brighter with you in it. But, I kind of knew that already. I got really sad when Splinter told me you were leaving, but seeing you again makes me feel so much better".

The ground underneath the trees became a sacred space, where unspoken feelings intertwined with the essence of cherry blossoms. In that moment, Leonardo took a deep breath, the weight of unspoken words lifting from his shoulders.

"I love you, (Y/N)", he confessed, his gaze unwavering. “I always have, and I always will”.

Your heart skipped a beat, and you whispered back, "I love you too, Leo".

The kiss that followed felt natural. It had been long awaited, not just by you and Leo, but all the people around you. It was slow and passionate, just like the two of you had always thought it would be. It was how Leo had always dreamed of it, and in that moment he felt more calm than he ever had.

And so, in the heart of Japan, beneath the blooming cherry blossoms, two souls found each other again - a love rekindled amidst the tranquility of the cherry trees and the whispers of destiny.

—---------------------------------------------

Bonus: The next morning, the Ancient One wasn’t surprised when he didn’t find his newest pupil meditating or training in the dojo or in the garden. As Leonardo’s current caregiver, he decided to check up on Master Splinter’s son. He went to his room, and pushed the shoji slightly open. There you and Leo were, sleeping soundly on his futon, holding each other tight, just like the Ancient One had expected.

The Ancient One closed the shoji and left for the kitchen. It was about time Leo and their newest guest got some breakfast.

[witchofhimring]

Loyalty Chapter 11

Synopsis:

Pairings: Aemond Targaryen x Tyrell Reader

Aemond Targaryen x Ellyn Baratheon

Alys Rivers x Aemond Targaryen

Jaecerion Targaryen x Reader

Jason Lannister x Reader (minor)

(more to come!)

Y/n Tyrells Profiles

Warnings: Angst, heartbreak, childbirth, emotional turmoil, death, unrequited love?, humiliation by Ellyn Baratheon, marital abuse, marital consummation, misogamy (internalized as well as external), brief depictions of smut, moontea/abortions, suicide, mentions of rape (not to the reader), Plot twist at the end!

This chapter has a suicide in it so do not read if this topic triggers you.

Great torrents of blood threatened to engulf you in its furry. Here and there you were buffeted with no power to stop it. Utterly bereft of the power to save yourself there was only despair. Owen's cried wailed in your ears. Desperately you tried to find him, but had not the power. "Owen!" You cried out. The babes crying suddenly stopped and the torrents of blood ceased. Now all there was before you was a sea of blood. An eerie quietness settled over the scene. Suddenly a deep moan shook you. Collapsing, you fell into the blood. Your green dress was stained, dripping with dark blood. From the bowels of the sea rose a great Weirwood tree, blood cascading down its great trunk. "Turn back." I moaned and groaned. Faces twisted themselves into the bark. Horrid, terrifying faces peered down at you, each more ghastly than the last. "Time. Time!" It bellowed down at you. Then the tree twisted into a great circle. The circle of time.

"Are you well, My Lady." You were slumped against a chair by the fire. Lady Mari pressed a hand to your forehead. "You have been mumbling in your sleep. How long has this been going on for?" You were not sure if telling Lady Mari the truth was wise. She might take you for something unnatural. Lady Mari had brought up a strong smelling drink that smelt of pine. The taste sat heavily on your tongue and lips. Warmth flooded through your body, making the toes and fingers tingled. "Since I got to the castle." You lied. "It is a strange place, My Lady. I will not be sorry to leave it behind." You had informed your ladies about the impending departure. None looked too sad. It might also be good for Clarissa to get away. If word had not yet spread to Highgarden then things may go well. You had asked Prince Aemond to make them keep silent. But that may not be enough. Even if they said nothing now there was no guarantee that things would stay that way. Most of these women came from great families so threats or bribes would not work.

"How is Clarissa?" "Not much better." Lady Mari said gravely. Clarissa was like poor Queen Helaena, driven mad by grief. Harrenhal was no place for a woman of her condition. Hopefully the entourage from Highgarden would arrive soon. Prince Aemond mentioned that Jaecerion would be arriving soon. You missed him, however complex your feelings were. Letters were rendered null as he often disappeared to Gods know where. You had asked if Alys might come. But Prince Aemond said she was a servant of Harrenhal and he had need of her. Why Prince Aemond needed Alys in particular way beyond you. Too bad there was nothing to be done about it.

You were starting to feel better. Although the dream still dwelled upon you, its power was not so strong. Deciding to visit Alys you got up and threw on a robe. Owen was with his wet nurse and would be fine for a while longer. "I need to be alone. You may go." Lady Mari nodded and left. You opened the shutters to bring some natural light into the room. The shutters flew open and a great wind seemed to pull. Your hands were pressed against the windowsill forcing you to look out on the forest bellow. Except it was not a forest. There was a sea of flood stretching far and wide. A Weirwood tree stood out far in the distance, its branches reaching towards you. "Save yourself! Come to me!" A voice cried out. With a frightened cry you stumbled back. The ground sent an echo of pain through your body. "Fuck." You groaned getting up. Once again you went to the window, warily this time. To your astonishment everything was normal. A forest, not a sea of blood, greeted you. The wind was blowing but weakly. There was no haunting voice, just birds in the trees. Had your fear over dreams bleed into the waking world? "It is just a dream." You tried to convince yourself. Tried being the word. You wanted to tell someone but who could you trust?

Alys might know. After all, she did not follow the New Gods. So down you went. Never before had you been to Alys's room. But you knew the way. Alone you went, bringing anyone else was counterproductive. It got colder the further down you went. You received several glances but no more than that. Finally you arrived at the entrance with its enormous iron double-door. To the left hand side there was a small wooden door. A guard stood there, spear in hand. Despite the curious look he threw your way no one stopped you. The flight of steps was slightly steeper than what felt safe. With one hand on the railing you descended. The servants hall was empty as most of them were unused. The servants Harrenhal did posses were likely out and about. You reached the end of the hallway. At the end was a thick wooden door. It was locked. Damn.

You knocked on the door and waited. Hopefully Alys would hear. After about a minute (or so you thought) there was still no Alys. Turning on your heal the door suddenly opened. "Y/n. I am surprised to see you here." "I do not mean to intrude its just...well this is rather important." You looked back to see if anyone was spying. "I something the matter?" She inquired. "Yes." At the moment it was best to be honest. "Alright." Alys opened the door and stepped inside. Instead of a room you entered another staircase. Alys lead the way, you followed. It was a short journey and Alys unlocked the next door. With a creek the iron hinges moved. Although you had never been inside the servants quarters you doubted the rest had a room as large as this. It was slightly larger than the room yourself occupied. Was Alys in charge of the servants? It would at least explain her accommodations. It was not only the size but objects that lay around. Her bed had comfy green sheets that were likely filled with feathers. The candleholders had engraving imbedded into the metal. Heavy leather books lay around. Not many could read. Maybe the books belonged to the library? Your brain could explain away the books, but the other objects were more mystifying. A gold necklace, silver cuffs, an amethyst! What had Alys sold in order to get these? And they were all there in the open, just lying there!

"Like them?" Alys did not seem the least bit perturbed. There was much about Alys you did not know. She was charismatic and could read. But right now you had so many more questions. Was she just a servant? The only explanation you could think of was that these were gifts from wealthy patrons who's children Alys had taken care of. None of it was hidden, like Alys did not give a damn. Alys pulled out two chairs and bided you to sit down. Going to the fireplaces she ladled a drink into two cups. "You do not need to do that." Alys smiled. "It's polite." You took a sip. Suddenly relaxed you leaned back in the chair. "I have been having these dreams. Though I am not sure if they are just dreams. They recur and today I saw them in the waking world." Alys leaned in slightly with unfeigned curiosity. "What type of dreams?" "There is always a Weirwood tree and blood. Lots of it. And I hear voices. They cry out and I think it is some sort of warning." Alys seemed to ponder your words, thinking them over. "What are these warnings?" "They tell me I am in danger. They tell me to turn back." "Turn back where?" "I do not know."

You left after that. Solidarity was greatly desired. Harrenhal was large and one could be utterly lost in its walls. Being lost was what you wanted. Maybe you could simply disappear into these walls and become another ghost. To Widows Tower you went. Over a hundred years ago another widow had lived here. Princess Rhaena Targaryen, whom some called the Queen of the West had withered into a white haired crone. Rendered old before her time, the woman who could have once been Queen died. Princess Rhaena Targaryen died alone and bereft when she might have been Queen. Although men came first there had been female contenders. As you looked out of a window, thoughts about how Princess Rhaena Targaryen must have felt. Ever woman who had been considered a Queen or heir in her own right had died rather nastily. Was this a curse by the Gods, raging at a woman's impudence. Or just pure bad luck?

The trees rattled bellow you, their leaves clicking in the wind. A great whistling had been blown up. From the north it blew like a herald of warning. Dread filled you. This war had dragged on for over a year. So much of Westeros was burned or bathing in blood. They spoke of how Prince Aemond had set the Riverlands ablaze, how Rhaenyra starved Kings Landing, thousands of families trampled into the dirt. One side would win, but what would be left to rule? A bereft kingdom left to slowly rot like a diseased body. And what would be left of you. If the Greens won you knew things would still not go back to what they once were. The safe trappings of your childhood had been ripped and shredded. If the Blacks won that was even worse. You might flee abroad to Essos. But what life was that for your son? Stripped of his birthright and thrust into a foreign lands. He would never know Westeros and live a shadow of what he might otherwise have been.

Voices emanated from the other side of the door. Who else was here? Alys and Prince Aemond stepped through. It was Alys who noticed you first. "Lady Y/n." Alys curtsied. Prince Aemond simply gazed at you. "Pardon." You nodded and quickly left. Leaving Prince Aemond and Alys to their conversation you descended the stairs. You wondered what Alys and Prince Aemond were discussing. Prince Aemond was not one to interact with servants personally. Even if they did why come here? What was it about their conversation that was so private? Even though it was not your business curiosity still dwelled inside. Ellyn suspected Prince Aemond of an affair, and you wondered if it was true. Though why anyone would want to carry out an affair in the Widows Tower was beyond you.

Once you might have been hurt by the thought of Prince Aemond with another woman. These days all that remained was a dull squeeze of the heart. An residue of your feelings was all that remained. You body remembered the pain, but the heart felt little. For some time you had mourned that girl. Stopping on a flight of stairs you swayed slightly. This hurt was greater than an unrequited love. A girl dressed in green laughing and dancing with her friends. Long walks in the garden and eating lemon cakes. Hiding with Prince Aemond in the alcoves. Those days had been bright and full of laughter. They were another life far removed from this one.

That night you dreamed not of blood and Weirwood tree, but of light and happiness. In this dream you ran through halls, the back of a green dress following. The laughter of other girls rang throughout the corridors. The pink flowers brought over from Essos were in bloom. Some of the girls plucked them creating flower crowns which they worse. Sunlight showered down from above illuminating the Red Keep. On and on you ran, wishing it would never stop.

When the woke a cold reality broke over and you wept. "My Lady, are you well?" "Yes. I am fine."

"Is that everything?" The maids were accounting for your things. Any day now Jaecerion would arrive and take you to Highgarden. You were not sorry to leave Harrenhal in the least. This place could crumble for all you cared. In Highgarden you might be happier, where the sun was strong and flowers bloomed. There was no great love for Lady Jenna but that was such a small sacrifice. You did not want your son to grow up in these walls, there was already a foreboding over Owen being born there in the first case. "You may pack that. I doubt there shall be any need for those before leaving." Your jewels had not been used in a while. There seemed to be no need to wear anything fine in Harrenhal. There was one set you would keep out. A gold and ruby necklace with matching earrings, rings and headpiece. You would not arrive in Highgarden looking like a maid.

"Will we have a guard?" Asked Lady Dara. "Of course, we will be very well guarded." You reassured Lady Dara. "What of Lady Clarissa?" That was a harder question to answer. Clarissa, poor girl, was hardly better. The maester finally gave up trying to make her chose and it became clear that Clarissa would have this child. She was not so far along that some thick clothing could not cover it up. Lady Joan would likely already know, even if you had yet to receive any letters on the matter. As Dowager Lady of Casterly Rock you could have Clarissa stay. In the meantime she could stay in a room and give birth there. The baby could be cared for by another and hopefully Clarissa's reputation would mend. Maybe you were being too optimistic about the outcome. You just prayed this would all work out in the end.

"She will come with us." Lady Cara looked perturbed. "Will a maester be accompanying us, or at least a midwife?" You shook your head. A request had been made and denied. The claim was that Clarissa was not far along enough to need one. A ridiculous claim, you knew the true reason. Lady Mari had seen babes delivered but that was about it. Otherwise you best pray Clarissa remained well during the journey.

Lady Mari entered, announcing her entrance with the words; "When will the papers arrive?" By papers Lady Mari was refering to the business of getting Casterly Rock under the authority of your son. Or rather his regents. Your deceased husbands brother, who had been his brothers heir until your son was born, would rule until Owen was of age. "They were sent to Highgarden." Surprisingly, Lady Mari looked unsettled. "What is is?" "I just find it odd that the documents were not given right to you. Why send them to Highgarden when currently you are here? I am not accusing your family of anything but one may take it upon themselves to witness matters not concerning them." Lady Jenna might not be the warmest person however she was a Tyrell, just as you were. "Be my etes and ears" she had said. She needed you as well, with your status as a Tyrell. Either way, Lady Jenna's granddaughter would marry your son so why would be conspire against you? "We need all parties present and some can not make it to Harrenhal any time soon." That was the less important part, at least for you. You just wanted to flee this place. The greater distance between yourself and this place the better.

"Well I think its taken an awfully long time for this matter." Was all Lady Mari said. You sensed anxiety in her, back rigid with warry dark eyes. You assured her that all was well. The past year had been a horrid stain on everyone so perhaps it was no surprise Lady Mari was so anxious. But you did have to wonder why Lady Mari so mistrusted Lady Jenna. To your knowledge Lady Mari had never met the woman nor did you know of any correspondence. Lady Jenna was not the most a agreeable woman and had long fingers, all the better for taking things. And there were certain papers you would keep out of her hands. On the other hand she was still family, and you were a Tyrell. It had been her who suggested you marry Jason Lannister in the first place. Just because Lady Jenna was unlikable did not make her a traitor.

"Who's book is this?" Lady Dara held up a heavy leather bound book. The symbol of the Wheel of Time was stamped on its cover. You immediately took it. Normally you were careful not to to be caught reading books of this nature. While not witchcraft some might consider reading of the Old Gods heretical. Most nights you hid them under a mattress, but in the chaos of the past few days you had neglected to take precaution. "Oh, I had taken a few books from the library." You tried to sound innocent and silently thanked any god out there that only those two were present. Quickly you took the book and told Lady Dara they would be put away later. You made sure to put it out of sight. While both ladies fussed over some furs you quickly hid the remaining books.

The remaining books that were not place in the library belonged to Alys. You wrapped them up and went downstairs. The guard let you pass silently through. You made sure there were no servants present to witness anything. Knocking on the door Alys let you in. "Finished them already? You're a fast reader." Commented Alys. You took the opportunity to look around the room again. A crude carving on a hand sat beside her bed. Another book lay on the bed, embossed with golden lettering. You examined closely a glass scull looking out through hollow eyes? This was so strange. Despite what Alys said you felt she was holding back. Even if these had been gifts from grateful patrons all of it would have been confiscated by Prince Aemond. Unless he truly was having an affair with her. He trusted her, headed Alys's council.

"I notice you like my objects." You had just spotted an odd bronze contraption. A circular globe surrounded by three thin discs. Alys reached out and the discs spinned. "What is that?" In wonder you inched closer, examining the engravings. "These are the constellation. The Old Gods broke apart a woman and casted those pieces into the air. To guide passengers to their destinies." Here you were regarding a symbol of the Old Gods. Both entranced and anxious, for the Seven may consider it heresy, you gazed further. "Would you like to see more?" A weak protest knocked at your consciousness. Something was off but you did not know what. Deciding to indulge in curiosity you said yes, you would like to see more. Alys unlocked a cabinet and a treasure trove of wonderous devices and objects. You had only seen such things five years ago when in Old Town. Alys reached into the back, pushing past serval objects. A metal box was pulled out and Alys pulled out a key from her dress. Unlocking it, Alys pressed her lips to it. The lid clicked and opened. A small pinch of disappointment prodded you. Just as small piece of bark with a painted design. In dark red was the symbol of time. Alys seemed to hesitate for a moment. A look of trepidation passed in her deep eyes. But she quickly blinked at it was gone. "Is everything okay?" "Yes. Sorry. Pick it up." Alys reached outYou reached in and carefully touched the delicate piece of wood.

Pins were digging into your index and thumb. Little fiery flames were pinching at every nerve. Your right arm seized up in agony. It spread to your chest, wedging deeper. Your heart hammered painfully like a hand was wrapping itself around the organ. The ground was pulling you down. The room was melting before you pooling into a great pool of blood. Hands pulled you back, blood enveloping your body. Iron in strength they held you down with all their might. Flashes of a past that was not your flitted past. A hidden passage, a staircase descending into darkness, a circular room, a brown tattered tapestry obscuring what lay beyond. You reached out and a young woman suddenly appeared, e/c eyes boring into yours.

Something, or rather someone, pulled you away. It was like being pulled out of a great body of cold waters. Laying there dazed and shivering you made out Alys's frantic form above you. She was saying something but she might as well be talking a far way off. Her very touch burned hot in contrast to every inch of your body which was so cold. Slowly feeling and sense returned. Everything once more became clear, and with that horror set in. With a great cry you lurched up. It did not matter that Alys was looking beseechingly up at you, one trembling hand extended. All you could focus on was the light in her eyes which looked mysterious and now so terrible. And in that fear came mistrust, fear and anger. Before Alys could even say anything you were gone, footsteps echoing into the darkness.

You did not stay long enough for Alys's tears.

She had failed. Alys numbly sat there, bereft. Her mission had failed. Entrusted with everything Alys knew now she had failed. It was too soon and there was no taking this back. The girl would never trust her again. Getting up with some difficulty, Alys slowly approached her cabined. Our of everything this was the most ordinary object. A simple wooden bowl. But it was forget from a Weirwood in the days when Andals hued both Northern flesh and trees. She had saved this small bit and fashioned this. Going to the Weirwood was not always an option, especially not in these times. Alys picked up a jug of cold water and poured it in. Leaning over its surface Alys muttered in a language no man living today would understand. Once many could speak of this tongue, now only Alys remained. In the waters depths Alys saw, and despaired. Now there was only one logical outcome. But as Alys turned one last image came, yet she did not see.

You had ignored for some time the whispers surrounding Alys. You more than most understood the maliciousness those rumors carried. These people who called Alys a witch likely did it out of petty jealousy. Well, you once thought that. The truth was that your suspicion had mounted. In defiance of all the rules Alys exercised considerable power. Prince Aemond did not easily take to women. You had been his only female friend of the opposite sex. The most beautiful women had been presented and yet Prince Aemond had turned his back. These women all came from great families and yet he gave not a damn. Alys's looks were head turning. Alys was not just beautiful, she was gorgeous. All this was not truly suspicious. Alys's looks were extraordinary, where even Prince Aemond could not ignore her. The worst bit was bitterness dwelling inside. She had a strength and power you could only dream of. A strength you could not even fathom.

Some said Alys was the daughter of Ser Lyonel Strong, a bastard. Others protested she was much older. One said Alys, on the day Aegon the Conqueror burned Harrenhal crept out from the woods. To this day, so she said, Alys took the form of a woman and stalked Harrenhal. Images of what you had seen flashed before your eyes. The darkness seemed to close in around you. Servants in the corridor threw themselves out of your way in haste. Away you fled, the brief bond forget with Alys severed.

Your babe was held close. Owen was innocent as to the happenings, you on the other hand were not spared by innocents. Ordering Lady Mari to never let Alys near again you barricaded yourself inside. Fear was a powerful feeling and it confined you to bed. There you lay shivering despite the warm fire blazing. Owen was securely attached to you. Most of all you feared for his safety. How many times had you allowed Alys near your son? Never again. That night you fell into a fitful sleep, seeing Alys's green eyes in the shadows. And dreadful dreams came again.

This time there was no blood but a vast stretch of barren plain. Everything was grey and cold, dark as a cloudy day. You were dressed in green and looking down one could see blood. Pulling back the sleeves you saw bloody wrists weeping as the sticky red substance poured out. Out from the ground half rotting corpses clawed their way out. Ellyn, Vaeron, Alana's and others unrecognized. One was a man with brown hair and blue around his mouth dressed in Tyrell green and gold. In a great throng they rose and surrounded you. "You are one of us." And together each seized a limb and bellow you were dragged.

Never before had you woken with such terror. Barely managing not to tumble you raced out of bed. Owen was barely secure on your arms. He started to fuss and then let out a weak cry. Cold air rushed past as you raced down the halls. This was witchcraft and Alys was behind it. You had been such a fool. Even before arriving you saw her face yet ignored every sign. She was cursed and so were you.

Prince Aemond's door was nearly broken from its hinges. The Prince, alarmed, was on his feet. Only in battle had his ears rang as they did now. You stumbled in and were at his desk. "A witch. Alys Rivers is a witch. Your Grace you must believe me! Warily Prince Aemond shifted. His eyes shifted around, right hand gripping a sword. "And why would you think this?" He did not sound convinced and it frustrated you. "She is! Alys Rivers gave me an object which when it touched it transported me to another realm. Many nights I have dreamt of that place but in that moment I was there." Prince Aemond sat down and pondered your words. Against your wishes he did not look alarmed. Did he think you a liar, or mad? You were shacking with fear by now. It you had your way you would flee this place, now. But everything relied on Prince Aemond and him believing you.

"What does this object look like?" Prince Aemond leaned back, his elbow resting on a knee. Now there was concern and it helped temper your fear. "A simple bark of wood, no larger than my palm. It has the Symbol of Time drawn in red." "Symbol of Time?" You supposed he should not know as a follower of the Seven. "Circular with runes around the rim. You will find it in a cupboard, it is in there." Prince Aemond steadily rose, this brows furrowed. He had grown thin in the past months. Shadows highlighted his gaunt features. He now reminded you of his grandsire Lord Otto who himself had looked older before his time. Worn out by war Prince Aemond was no longer the young boy who spent his days cowering the library. Once he was flushed with youth, just as once you could have trusted him with anything. You clutched Owen to you as he paced. Finally Prince Aemond said he would summon men and bid you depart. He would search her chamber and see if your worries held merit. In your chambers you lingered. The sun set and blood red bleed across the sky like a great blanket. Eventually Prince Aemond turned up alone. Alys Rivers had already disappeared.

You were unprepared for the grief that was reaped upon you the next day. Sitting in a chair you realized that Alys's presence would be sorely missed. She had been the closest thing to a companion these past months. The ladies were fin enough company, but Alys had been something special. And you had a feeling her like would not be seen again. Something great had been lost to you and was now far away. Doom had cast itself upon your mind as everything felt hopeless. The world now felt so small with to end to the misery. Far from solving everything Alys's sudden departure had done more ill. A witch she was but was someone to you. Anger still remained, only now it was directed at yourself. With the shock gone you wondered if this all had been a horrid mistake. The worst bit was that all of it was your own making. The only thing that helped was the notion that she may have wished you ill. Witches could not be trusted.

The nightmares still came. Alys's departure had not stopped them. This was not a surprise. These dreams had perpetuated your mind before she came. You checked your room for tokens, anything that would curse. At least you knew she could slip in nothing after you sent Prince Aemond after her.

The days dragged on until a week had passed. Time was spent solely in your room. The only thing to occupy your sullen mind was Owen. Your son had grown fast with thick hair growing on his head. Nothing gave you more joy than to see this child growing strong. You has sent letters to your sons great uncle to make sure everything was in order. It made you antsy that the business of getting your son recognized as Casterly Rock's lord. Lord Gerard Lannister (your sons great uncle) would be regent. While slightly miffed at having been passed over you understood why. It was not even as if you knew anything about being regent in the first place. Going back to Casterly Rock was not safe as of now. The only reason Lord Gerald Lannister was meeting you so soon was because after you left he had disappeared. By disappeared one meant Ser Gerald was assisting in the hiding of King Aegon. After, he had slipped into Highgarden. The Westerlands were in ruins and too dangerous.

Almost everything had been packed. Waiting, which had been an annoyance before, was becoming unbearable. You wanted out right now. This place was horrid and haunted, ghosts or not. The full horror was falling down all around you. Nothing could forestall the fear you now felt. Sick with worry you clutched Owen to your chest and hid from the world. Lady Mari would read to you, choosing happy stories of maidens finding their prince. Those stories always ended happy, although you supposed that was why Lady Mari chose them. Instead of being a balm such stories were a torment. It just put into stark focus how wretched your own way. Even Ellyn's fate seemed tempting. Cold in the ground with no feelings. Oh to be in a place were nothing could hurt you.

The sweet dreams of days in Kings Landing were worse than nightmares. At least when free of the blood and haunting voices waking was a relief. But those sweet dreams of times long past were the only times you were free. Far from the cold cruel world you basked in the memory of light and a sweet spring. Or you were in the alcove enjoying peace. Prince Aemond, when he was Aemond, was there. The two of you would talk of happier things. Because in those times there was no war. No death stalking the link gobbling up lives. Bitter tears broke over when you woke. Owen was all you lived for now.

"Let me see." You cooed. Owen opened his beautiful eyes and he had you. A tiny smooth hand grasped yours eagerly. You pressed a kiss to his forehead and Owen made a happy squeal. You laughed. "My beautiful baby boy." Picking his up Owen was deposited in your lap. He loved being surrounded by silk. The material of your dress enveloped him in a hug. Owen stretched up happily and you smoothed his curls. A rapid knock at your door was heard. Scooping up Owen you called out. The door had been locked and tightly bolted. "Hello?" "My Lady, Prince Jaecerion has arrived!" Immediately you were up and unlocked the door. Lady Mari looked as relieved as you felt. "When are we leaving? Now?" "First thing in the morning My Lady." With a sigh of relief so much weight was suddenly lifted. You walked past Lady Mari down to the entrance hall where surely Prince Jaecerion sat. The second you entered his head turned. Jaecerion looked the same as he always had. His silver hair was longer but that was it. The brightness in his eyes remained undimmed and the second Jaecerion laid his eyes on you he was on his feet. In just a few short strides Jaecerion had pulled out into a tight and completely informal hug. His hair fell around you like a curtain and although no one else could see it, pretty lips ghosted your forehead. A hand ran down your back. Its thumb gently tracing the path of your spine. "Y/n. I have missed you."

Hardly anyone else was here. Just Prince Aemond and Lady Mari who just walked in. Jaecerion then noticed your son. "This is Owen Lannister." You did not see the look in Jaecerion's eyes, only that he was taking in every inch of your sons face. "He looks like you." You smiled, pleased by the compliment. "Would you like to hold him?" "No." Realizing how he came off Jaecerion quickly covered it up. "My armor might harm him." He quickly said. Disappointed you fastened your hold on the baby. Jaecerion seemed to gather his bearing, for the next moment he was smiling, cheerfulness in place. "I hope your stay was comfortable." He said no without conviction. For anyone who got a look at Harrenhal knew this was no place to relax. "Hardly My Prince. I shall be glad to leave it." Jaecerion chuckled. Gallantly he extended a hand which was excepted.

Meanwhile Prince Aemond seemed removed from his surroundings. His gaze was focused on the steadily dying flames. As you came closer he looked away and your gazes locked. There was something dancing in his eyes. In the purple was fire, images dancing in an erratic trance. Then you blinked and it was gone. "The fire. Does strange things, light does." You though looking into the flames. And then something strange happened. As you looking to the flames a fiery tree was conjured from the flames. Its image flickered and licked at wood. Eyes seemed to be on you, peering onto the very depths of your soul. Suddenly you were far away from this place, only the dancing fire existed. The, just as suddenly a face appeared in its place. Skeletal and thin its evil eyes pierced you with a penetrating glare. It opened its wide mouth with sharp teeth and a cold breath swept the hall. Suddenly everything was dark.

"Y/n!" You were back. Or at least you might have been. Everything was still dark with the scent of smoke filling the air. Someone on your left stumbled into you. You could tell it was Prince Aemond. "Apologies Lady Y/n. What in the Seven Hells is going on?!" Owen had started to wail and you clutched him to you. "I do not know. Guards!" This time it was Jaecerion. Frightened, you just stood there. You could still see that face, although it had disappeared. Its momentary presence made you could in a way nothing else did. That horrid rotting face that emanated cold. And not just any cold, but the type that snuffed out all life. Was this Alys's doing? Had the witch retaliated against you in her anger?

You only saw light when the doors came in. The contrast was so intense you looked away. Owen felt so heavy in your arms. "Y/n, are you hurt?" Jaecerion walked towards you. "Yes." Shivering, you felt a cold sweat run down your back. Your legs quacked underneath you and Prince Aemond immediately darted forward to secure Owen. "Thanks." Was all you could muster. Jaecerion lead you out of that hall. You left that room where unimaginable things took place. While you could leave the room, some things you would never leave behind.

That night you prayed fiercely to the Gods. Hands clasped and on your knees feverish words tumbled from cold lips. To The Mother you prayed, for she may be the most merciful. An idol of her you kept was clutched in a trembling hand. For months it lay forlornly at the bottom of a chest. May The Seven spare you. However some said that there were evil powers beyond the gods. Evil ones in the shadows. Had you come so close to falling into their grasp? All you could do was pray and hope against hope that their mercy would extend to you. So little mercy in the world, even The Seven was limited in that regard. But retribution they had plenty and you may yet fall under its knife.

Owen lay on the bed beside you. He was awake by made no sound. His breathing was all you could hear, with the occasional sniffle. You prayed for him most of all. "Please, I beg of you, let my son live." And yet The Seven may punish him too. Children were often a victim to their parents crimes. And you had been a bad daughter of the faith. Alys may have been your punishment. Praying it would go no further your knees throbbed. Still, you prayed.

Something was looming out there, you just knew it. Far away, yet its malice was great. Carrying with it cold wind imaginings of an endless cold came. This thing, whatever it was, wanted to kill. You imagined it might be Alys, out there with her powers. They had yet to find her and with a war raging no one cared to. The threat may be greater. Your brief flirtation with heresy may have brought the attention of more sinister beings.

When your door opened you jumped and and scooped up Owen. Sagging in relief you realized it was only Owen. "Oh Gods. I am sorry I thought you were something else." Jaecerion looked around the room. "Who else were you expecting?" You sensed jealousy in his tone. "No one in particular. This place is haunted." Jaecerion seemed to relax. "I never took you as one afraid of ghosts. You use to read them to me." Back with you, Jaecerion and Prince Aemond were children you used to take turns reading stories. It was mostly you scaring the living daylight out of the boys. "Harrenhal changed that." Jaecerion walked over to the bed and sat beside you. "Will you had him off to a nursemaid." "No. I want my son with me. At least until we leave this place." Jaecerion looked up at the canopy above. "Afraid of Harren's ghost?" He joked. You on the other hand did not find it funny. "We are leaving early?" "Yes." You stood up and walked over to the crib. Your arms were aching so you allowed the crib to do its job. You flopped into a chair and Jaecerion followed.

"How is your mother? I know she is a captive but have you heard everything?" It was odd to think that once you saw Dowager Queen Alicent every day. Now two years had passed and her face was a mere memory. "Exhausted, last I saw. My sister is treating her well so they say. But I don't trust that cunt." You did not bother to enquire after Helaena. Everyone knew poor Queen Helaena had gone made. You thought about the girls who had been your friends. Lady Lenita and Lady Flora were still alive, but that was all you knew. Strange to think of days when you had all been together.

"Will you be staying with me when I get to Highgarden." "Regrettable no. My brother will need me. So long as Rhaenyra continues to live, and her bastards, there will be a war. The only satisfaction I can get is that two of hers are dead." You looked away. Now as a mother yourself something akin to pity and revulsion stirred within you. Pity for Rhaenyra and revulsion at the satisfaction of Jaecerion's face. A surge of panic came when you realized you actually felt pity for Rhaenyra. "Of course you feel sorry. You are a mother. That does not mean you support her." You told yourself.

"I want you to marry me." It was so sudden you nearly forgot to breath. With a tightened chest your eyes shot towards Jaecerion. Your heart hammered. Was Jaecerion serious? "Do you....want to?" Unsure, you regarded him warily. Although Jaecerion had made his feelings quite well known you still felt uncertain. Of course at twenty you were still young. Remarried was on the table but you had put no great thought into it. "Of course I do!" Jaecerion seemed eager. Jaecerion was handsome and all a woman could wish for. As Prince his wife you would be a princess. You did not love Jaecerion but you cared for him a great deal. Such a match was not bad. But you felt that by saying yes you were deceiving him. Likely Jaecerion would believe you loved him in a way you did not. "May I have time? I am not saying no but there is so much to consider." Jaecerion did not look too upset. He would rather you say yes, of course. But you were not spurning him either. This was simply asking him to wait.

Jaecerion took one hand in his. "I know these past years have been difficult." A thumb stroked worn knuckles. His pretty mouth was not far from your own. "If I can provide anything, all you need do is ask." His voice sent shivers down your spine. The way his eyes looked at you was one gazing at something they desired. Your heart was beating almost painfully, facing beyond belief. "And what would that be?" You knew what he wanted. But what else could you say? In your defense you knew what he meant. But a feeling of trepidation had dawned upon you. Sleeping with Jaecerion was not a good idea. At least not at this moment. They might talk and there was just something nagging at the back of your brain not to. You could not deny that a man gazing at you in such a way was exhilarating. Starting to feel hot between your legs you closed them together. For the first time you felt intense lust stir up within your belly. It enveloped your core and threatened to take over. Jaecerion came even closer, his hands impossibly hot against your knees. A lusty part of you wanted him to continue. To take you here and now, consequences be damned. "Do you mean it?" "Of course! Y/n I want no other!" He had taken your elbows and set you on your feet. While his grip was not painful there was an iron strength to it. Jaecerion was pressing you to his warm body. Despite the layers of clothing you could feel his cock stirring beneath. His desire made it harder to ignore your own.

There were other matters to concern. What would Lady Jenna think of? As a widow and groan legally you need to rely on her leave. But you were also a valuable asset to your family. A bad marriage could put you on their bad side. "I will bring this up with my relatives and heed their council. I do want to marry you Jaecerion, but I want to make sure this is the right decision." Jaecerion knelt before you in a startling gesture of passion. "But you want to?" Your fingers held his in a tightening grip. "Yes. I do."

After that he had left. It was late and most were in bed. You watched him leave with the desire to call Jaecerion back. Your breathing was ragged like one after a run. Desire swelled within you, heating by the minute. "Oh Gods Jaecerion." You closed the door behind and slumped against it. The dress felt too tight and warmth pooled between your legs. You might have called him back if discretion were not a thing. Closing your eyes you lingered on this new sensation. You had never felt this way with your deceased husbands. It was shameful, you knew. But Lord Jason was dead, so would the Gods punish you? Desiring a man in widowhood was not a sin. Plenty women, as so often their husbands outlived them, remarried.

For the firs time you imagined what it would be like to marry Jaecerion. Living in Kings Landing, being a great lady. You would have a husband who loved you. And Gods willing you may have more children. They would be Targaryens and perhaps ride dragons. Everything you would posses. Nevertheless something was still lingering at the back of your consciousness. Eyes went to Owen, soundly sleeping. How would this decision affect Owen? Marrying Jaecerion would tie him closely to the royal family. His half siblings would be first cousins to the king. A union between house Lannister, Tyrell and Lannister would bolster your sons influence. You would hate to have him fostered elsewhere. Despite not being adept at politics you knew they would never allow the heir of Casterly Rock to remain in Kings Landing. That was the sacrifice parents had to make. Despite this, it would bring advantage and in Kings Landing you could keep him safe.

You summoned Lady Dara to undress you. The entire time your mind was racing. "You are shaking My Lady. Shall I get a maester?" "No. It is just cold and I am tired. That is all." Wearing a nightgown and cloak you went to Clarissa's room. You brought Owen as a precaution, trusting no one with the babe. While unwell Clarissa was not dangerous. The stench of sweat hit you. Gathering courage you walked inside. A sputtering candle was all the light provided. On the bed covered in sheets lay Clarissa. You thought she might be asleep until the floor board cracked beneath. A small whine, gentle yet strangely loud, and Clarissa rolled over. "My Lady?" Her voice passed in a wheeze. Her dull green eyes were only illuminated by candel light. "Yes, it is me. We leave tomorrow. Is that not good?" You sat down beside Clarissa. All she did was continue to stare. You noticed she was now looking at Owen. Then you looked to Clarissa's belly, swollen. Bringing Owen may not have been such a good idea. "I feel so alone." Clarissa's eyes welled with bitter tears. Something caught in your throat. You had to remind yourself not to cry. To see one brought so low, especially Clarissa, would make anyone pity this poor girl. A lonely young girl away from home with only despair in sight. "You have us." Brushing a messy piece of hair back you gently stroked her cold cheek. Briefly Clarissa closed her eyes and tears streamed. "And I swear I will protect you." You wanted to protect Clarissa and make this all feel like a bad dream. No one deserved to be bereft of companionship. "Tomorrow we will leave this place. Is that not nice? Highgarden is beautiful and we can spend days under the trees. We have everything planned out for you. You will have the best care and want for nothing." Clarissa looked away and started to cry aloud. You tried to comfort her but Clarissa was in a world of her own. She was practically gasping with sobs, shaking as if ill.

It was not your words that finally made Clarissa stop but exhausting. Finally she slumped against the pillow. You were now sitting on the bed, one hand on her for head.

Clarissa had stopped crying, leaving only hopelessness in those haunted eyes. Your belly ached when you realized there was nothing to be done. Clarissa was so deep in her grief that pulling her out seemed impossible. All you could do was pray Highgarden would bring Clarissa the peace she needed. "Good night Clarissa. Tomorrow we leave and I promise it will get better.

Liar.

"You must shed your colours." The voices called out as they always did. The blood and trees were back terrorizing your dreams. This time you could not move. Something beneath the blood had you rooted. Whatever had you dug its small claws into your flesh. They were small possessing sharp tips. You tried to pull free but it was hopeless. As always you were completely helpless in these dreams. Then there was laughter, the type that sent a chill. Curling into yourself the only thing to do was pray for a reprieve. "The Seven will not reach you here." A voice chuckled. The ground rumbled and you closed your eyes. The voice laughed and laughed and laughed. You looked truly pitiful.

Suddenly you were being pulled by the legs. Whatever had its teeth into you was yanking you along. Trees grew higher and higher. Their leaves were a bright green and its trunks a golden brown.

"Stop it!" This voice was new. Turning around you saw a young woman. She had the same hair and eyes as you. From a distance one may think she was. But despite the similarities she was not. She was trying to run towards you. One hand reaching out, terrified eyes. Instinctively you tried to turn back. Closer she came and you realized she wanted to help. "I can not move!" You were still trying to get free. Finally one feet was free and you looked down. Vines covered in thorns had winded into flesh. Trickles of your own blood dripped with a sickening plop.

She was almost to you. Just a few more steps and.... "No!" Both of you tried out. A vine struck out like a serpent and wound itself around her neck. Now it was you trying to get to her. The girl struggled, her eyes never leaving her face. Slowly she choked, legs frantically kicking. It did not matter how much you struggled. There was nothing you could do. An when her body was let go she fell to the ground. And then something, or someone, let out a bloodcurdling scream.

The screaming did not stop. Sunlight replaced the bleak landscape and the screaming went on and on. You stayed in the bed not daring to move. Footsteps came closer and fear pounded in your heart. When the door slammed open you burst out of bed and seized Owen. Instead of a stranger it was Lady Mari. "Are we under attack?!" Then you noticed the tears in her eyes. Lady Mari was shaking where she stood, red lips trembling. It was she who had been screaming. "Wh-whats happened?" Lady Mari sobbed and gripped at her dress. "It's Clarissa. She's hung herself."

Notes: A grim ending to a grim chapter. This chapter made me sad to write😅. Clarissa was originally mean to die last chapter by I felt it was getting too long. Part one of this series is coming to a close with about 3-5 chapters remaining. Thank you to everyone for reading this far!

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[yourheart-inmyhands]

Hi there! If you don't mind, I would like to request something.

How do you think Knights of Favounius (you don't need to write for all of them, just pic few please) would have handled it if they found out their lover is a spy/traitor?

Sorry if it doesn't make much sense.

no this made pretty good sense don't fret! for the Knights of Favonious i went with who i assumed you met playable character wise, i hope you enjoy!

Warning: this post contains yandere-themes, including delusional behavior, being held against will, and other potential topics. Please read at your own risk!

Yandere!Jean would be impervious to it, she doesn’t care who you are or where you came from, what matters most to her is that you remain hers. She’ll do to you what she often does to Klee, locking you in a room until you’ve learned your lesson. Except instead of it being a spare room in the Favonius headquarters it’s a room in the basement of her home. Somewhere no one is allowed to go. 

“Don’t fret my dear, I’ll be back to check on you later.” Jean smiles warmly at you, double checking the locks on the iron cuffs to ensure that you’d stay put. One cuff kept your left hand stuck directly to the wall while two others sat snugly around your ankles, just in case you managed to get your wrist free. She kindly left you a glass of water and a few snacks, just to tide you over until she could return from work. She’d keep you in the dark, windowless room for as long as it takes. You claim to be a traitor but she knows you’re lying. But that’s alright, she’ll keep you here in this room, just for you, until you clear your head and remember who you are.

Yandere!Kaeya would simply raise a brow, mildly intrigued by your confession. He doesn’t believe you, putting more faith into this being a ruse to get away from him than it is the truth, but he sits you down as questions you anyways.

You don’t remember how long you had been sitting in this chair. At your insistence that you were a spy and not really in love with Kaeya, said male had sat you down in a chair in his office. Your wrists were bound to the back of the chair with some spare fabric Kaeya had laying around his office, your ankles and legs remained free though. Kaeya hadn’t brought any physical harm to you, but somehow it seemed that his words alone burned deeper than that. The two of you had been at this for long enough for Kaeya to shed his fur overcoat piece, leaving him in just his cavalry captain uniform. If you wanted to continue to play the act of a spy, then he’d treat you as one, ruthlessly questioning you with a fierce intensity until you give in and break. 

Yandere!Lisa would give a look of surprise, a soft ‘oh?’ leaving her lips as she processes the information. While she had never suspected you of being a spy, she could certainly see where the pieces fell into place. She doesn’t care that you’re a supposed spy, it doesn’t change her love for you.

Lisa’s curious gaze looks up at you from the book she currently had before her, wordlessly she marks her page and closes it. Slowly she stands, coming to a stop before you and bringing her hands up. Her left hand rests on your shoulder as her right comes up to cup your cheek, her thumb gently caressing your skin as she gazes into your eyes. “Dear, such stories should be saved for children’s books.” She smiles kindly at you, placing a kiss to your cheek that wasn’t held in her hand. “Come now, it’s nearly time for lunch. I packed enough to share.”

Yandere!Albedo will act indifferent to the emotion, telling you that he already knew. He’ll tell you that he took care of whoever you were supposed to report back to, and that now you need not worry. Now you are free to spend all your time with him, helping him with his experiments and such.

Albedo doesn’t even need to look over his shoulder as you stand there at the entrance to his lab. He heard everything you said, but simply didn’t feel the need to turn around. “Can you pass me some lizard tail, it’s in that box over there.” Albedo absently points to a box across the room, turning to look at you when he doesn’t hear you move. He takes note of your astonished look. “I already knew of you being an informant. While I don’t appreciate being left in the dark, I did already handle the situation. You no longer have anyone to report back to.” Once more, he motions to the box, asking you to grab him so lizard tail, this time with a little more weight to his words.

[rosepetalkitty]

hi hey hello please read this its important info!!

about!!!

what is this? who am i?

hi hi hi!!! finally caved and made an nsfw/kink altblog. no i will not be linking this to my main blog even if u know me there. i doubt im ever gonna post anything thats just outright sexual here bc im acespec and not really into that stuff very much but like kink is such a fun topic so that'll come up a lot. also for the record, this is not a "men dni" page but i am generally sapphic.

call me Rose if you're subby or rosie if you want me to be ^-^ my pronouns are she/her, kit/kitty and ella (es.), i'm an 18y/o trans girl, and i've been diagnosed with adhd, autism and tourettes, among other things.

also, as of october 30th, 2024, i am a voice actress!!! my audios are posted on my reddit page!!! i don't do commissions (yet!) but im happy to take suggestions, so if you have an idea, shoot me an ask!!

and uhhh dunno what else i was gonna say. plspls send me asks i love the attention!!! i'll leave anons on until it becomes a problem~ anyways uh yeah! enjoy!

please read below the break for more information, especially if you plan on interacting with this blog!!

where you can reach me:

here, obviously, though tumblr dms are pretty bad. on the bright side this is like zero effort. you're on tumblr, im on tumblr, yay

simplex! you can click that link to add me, and if you don't have simplex it'll explain to you how to set it up, which is super duper easy. it's really really great privacy wise!! i would very much appreciate it if you send me a tumblr dm telling me your simplex display name so that i know who's who.

discord. my discord tag is the same as my url here. i do prefer simplex over discord though (mostly cuz i don't switch discord accounts on my phone bcuz it's a pain, and also bcuz of the privacy thing)

some links!

you can send me praise here!!!!

i write my stories on this neocities page now!

my cashapp is here!! it's essentially a virtual tip jar and if you appreciate my va work i would really really appreciate a tip, but please don't feel obligated to!

and here are some posts that are significant to me for one reason or another

this blog is a persona, a ranty short essay about identity, emotional freedom, masking and what it really means to know Me

my first real audio post!! oh my goddess this was so exciting!!!

on fear regarding human domestication guide, and on my hope to someday overcome it

regarding my roommate, myrrh

as of writing (2024-11-08), myrrh (murmur unless you have been given permission to use the prior! check baa pinned before interacting with bah!) and i are now comfortable interacting on tumblr. this is awesome because discussing kink as an interest is great and ba's my bestie, but i need to make this incredibly clear:

we are strictly platonic! we are not dating, we are not fwb, we do not do any kinky or sexual stuff together at all and never will. we chat about kink and sometimes make jokes about it at each other's expense, but we are friends who live together, not partners. do not insinuate otherwise, it makes both of us very uncomfortable.

An important note about dominance...

If you're exclusively a dom(me) you can skip this, otherwise I would appreciate it if you could at least skim it.

i do not like the expectation that i will be dominant at any given time, but I do enjoy showing some dominance sometimes, in some situations. I do enjoy being a brat, when I'm not already feeling really subby but want to be put in my place.

Hell, I do enjoy hypnotizing people. A lot, actually. I've been a hypnotist (in both a purely for fun way and occasionally a kink way depending on the person) for a relatively large number of people over the past several years, including in person for a handful of people, though much less so in the past year or so. I would love to make files for people to listen to, and I totally would if I had the creative energy and a private space to record (reminder that I live in a college dorm and have a roommate — they're awesome, but we don't have that kind of relationship and have zero intentions of changing that ever).

The problem is, I get burnt out very quickly if I force myself to be dominant when my brain isn't just doing it spontaneously. How do I know? In past relationships my partners saw me as a switch, and expected me to dominate them as much as they dominated me. I really can't do that. My dominance is as much within my control as my hyperfixations — I can make good use of it when it's there, but when it isn't there's nothing I can do to force it without causing myself lots of stress and burnout.

For that reason I'm not willing to be your domme or anyone else's. Instead of seeing me as a switch, please consider me a sub who can be dominant sometimes. I can't do it on demand, and I can't promise that I will be able to do it for any given person at any given time.

some notes for the page!

if ive tagged a post with #pull my trigger! then that means im ok with ppl playing with my brain in the notes!! otherwise, please just message me directly. im always okie with dms.

posts with #mean rosie on them have me teasing/messing with/bullying (in a /lh way) other people~ don't ask me to do this to you unless it's like a reblog responding to me doing that to you or smth. i don't usually enjoy showing dominance like that. sometimes im just the flavor of brat that likes to tease people. other times i do kinda feel a little bit dominant but. meh. even then ill pretty much always slip down into good girl mode on the spot if anyone shows any dominance towards me, usually even more so than i would normally.

posts tagged #angel rosie are ones that make me really happy~

#rosie rambles and #rosie rants go on serious/out of theme posts, with the latter being for emotionally heavy ones

#rosie speaks goes on all my audios~

plspls ask me about my triggers, my kinks, etcetc!!! i love getting told to answer questions >w<

dni list

any adult is free to view my page. minors, please leave. im serious. that said, there are certain things that will get you blocked from interacting with my page, so if your blog falls into any of these categories please kindly just look, don't touch.

agepl@y

transphobes, and anyone else who doesn't think trans women are women

s!ssy, crossdressing and detrans themed pages. i have nothing against you for liking that stuff, but it makes me really uncomfortable because of some past experiences. please dni.

blank blogs, no age in bio or pinned, blogs that seem to just be spam reblogging everything, etc. sometimes this is case by case — "18+" is usually not chill, but "20s" or "30s" usually is. if you have nothing at all that's a nope. having a pfp is important, by the way.

blogs that just spam ai generated pictures. im sure youre chill, but ai pictures take the humanity out of your blog and frankly just look bad. posting one here or there on an otherwise human blog is thin ice, but i care a little less when there's other content too, as long as your other content is good.

my kinks, my limits my triggers

obviously im very very into hypnosis, especially intelligence play (aka dumbification), especially especially when there are bimbo themes involved. im also into everything on this list (in no particular order), but its definitely not exhaustive because theres things ive never tried before. please try new things on me!

light/medium bondage

pet play (as a kitty or a bunny, totes open to others but those are ones i luv)

spanking and other light pain, including light scratching/marking

being groped

praise and degradation, especially when its condescending

gentle doms (not that other styles are bad, but gentle+manipulative+condescending+possessive is my favorite)

other people picking my clothes

physical affection (headpats, scritchies, cuddles, kisses)

medical play (very specifically anesthesia, limited interest in other parts of it)

gaslighting

exhibitionism (especially when im being shown off)

behavior modification (especially clicker training!)

edging and denial

i have a voice kink for certain types of voices. generally my favorites are deep femme voices with really soft tones that get sharp to add emphasis to certain words like "drop" or "now". i also sometimes like higher softer masc voices, but deep or rough masc voices make me uncomfortable most of the time. if you want me to give you examples of hypnotists on the internet whose files i like, please send an ask or dm me.

when im in control (especially when it's about my audios!!!), i love being told how i make you feel, what you think of me, etc, so go on, feed my ego ;)

sooo yeah!! next are my soft limits — things i don't necessarily love but can tolerate in an otherwise fun context. please ask before acting on these because i would generally prefer to avoid them.

hypno audios narrated by text to speech — most of them are just grating and i can't relax with them.

"brainwashing" files that are just someone saying the same thing over and over with no induction or deepener or triggers or anything to put me under. i need to be in trance before that stuff does anything.

"hypnosis audios" that have loud music, or where the script is turned into a song. i've heard it done well maybe once or twice, i've heard it done wrong a million times.

hypnosis content as long form videos, especially when i need to read text in the video. my eyes get exhausted from staring at a screen for too long. i really really prefer audio, and text is good too, but videos longer than a couple minutes are rough.

and finally, here are my hard limits. please don't bring these things up. full stop. these are non-negotiable.

everything on my dni list

the drugs haloperidol/haldol, lorazepam/ativan and promethazine/phenergan

heavy pain

blood, knives/sharps, heavy scratching/marking

being asked/"forced" (i can and will block you if you're pushy) to send pictures or videos. audio is a hard maybe and very much depends on dysphoria at that moment and vibes. but yeah pictures and videos are a no-go.

being sent dick pics. please don't. im not into that. other pics are probably fine as long as you're chill.

extended degradation with no praise (i start having genuine self image issues past a certain point - i like being degraded, having my behavior changed, and then being praised as a reinforcement mechanism)

intox play, especially alcohol and weed. it scares me because of some past experiences. this is specifically about being intoxicated in the traditional sense (drunk/high), so like for example being sedated is something im cool with (and actually love the idea of)

feeding kink stuff

and here are some of my hypnotic triggers, in no particular order

"brain goes bye bye" melts my brain and makes it really hard to think

"control goes bye bye" takes control of my brain and my body away so that i just do as im told

"memories go bye bye" makes it really hard to remember anything for a while, which mostly just shuts my brain off. these first three are all from Miss Lilith, i love her files~ <3

"sleep" and "drop" both put me under, to varying degrees of success. might take multiple uses to really take me down deep, and really everything works better with a snap

"good girl" makes me happy and a tiny bit more obedient

"look here", "listen" and "focus" draw in my attention and make it hard to look away from/ignore whatever is being shown/said to me. they also usually make me more suggestible.

"lightning" makes me feel weak and dazed and when im like that "thunder" puts me under and gets me really floaty and fuzzy

"submit and obey" makes me obedient and super duper suggestible

i have a lot more, im just not remembering them all right now. theres probably dozens in my brain from all the files ive conditioned myself with over the years

[thejockout]

As time passes and I release more files, an increasing number of people DM asking whether I'd be interested in trancing them personally. A few have even requested to do this with me as an altered commission, which they'd pay for on a regular basis as I work with them! To date, I have not said yes to anyone: and I'd like to take a minute here to explain why. If you're one of the people who's asked, offered or suggested this, don't feel bad - I've never given a stance on it. But I'm doing it here now!

Reason #1: As a subject and tist, my "field of expertise" lies in pre-made mp3s. I had my dalliances with sites like Hypnosis4Guys and a few sessions over Skype/Discord back in the day, but they were almost all disastrous. Of maybe... 8/9 separate individuals, 6 violated my set boundaries (by recording me, by jerking off when we'd established it would be a sfw session, by trying to change the topic of trance to get their own suggestions in place) and I frankly have no interest as a subject in repeating this experience. So I stick to MP3s.

But that also means that I have little practical experience of live trance work on either end; I'm sure that I could improvise some BS as well as anyone else can. I'm not so down on myself that I think I'd never figure it out. But I don't have a history with it, and I'm pretty hesitant to pick anyone as my "first subject" who'd have to sit through me fumbling my way through a few sessions before I figured it all out.

Reason #2: Compared to producing 'nosis MP3s, live trance is a whoooole different ballgame intimacy-wise. And it's one I don't feel equipped for because of how seriously I'd want to take it. Needing to provide aftercare, working with safeties, ensuring a sub's comfort and ease... these are all considerations that are uniquely challenging to account for in live trance, and ones I'm very hesitant to do with a stranger as a result. Even something as simple as needing to guarantee my internet doesn't go out, or that I don't get interrupted... I wouldn't be able to live with myself if something went wrong/a subject had an abreaction when they were under for me.

Hypnosis is a tricky business, and it can dredge up unpleasant/unwanted emotions in people pretty easily if you strike the wrong chord (which, in this whole space of TF kink, is possible if not common.) I have had panic attacks a not-insignificant number of times in trance, and I know how scary it can be. I would want somebody more experienced/educated than myself to help me through it if we were trancing together.

Reason #3: To date, I don't consider I've gotten enough training to be engaging with these pseudo-therapeutic topics on a specifically one-to-one basis. I already try to step lightly around certain topics like image and self-worth in my files because I'm not a psych grad and my only "qualifications" in hypnosis or therapy are short-form courses. (I am, however, pursuing further education in hypnosis and doing a course on it right now.)

But this is complicated because the suggestions a lot of subjects in this space want, me included, can really put you in a psychological minefield. Things like habit change, strong TF ideas, ego effects and permanent change ✨... they're closely tied to our sense of identity, self, sexuality, etc, and there IS a risk of some butterfly effect when you go plucking these strings. I'm not criticising other tists for tackling these issues/themes via live sessions. Their choices are their own, and their subjects are choosing their tists just as much as the other way around... but personally, I would feel irresponsible dipping into people's minds in that way.

But then... why are files different?

Ultimately, a file is different because it's premade; I am writing a script, I'm telling you what it contains, and it's up to you to decide if that's right for you. There is no learning on the fly what I'm speaking about (assuming you read a file description), and you've at least broadly decided you like the theme I'm exploring. After pretalks and setup, a live trance is improv; even if you're working repeatedly with a subject on their specific desires, that requires a flexibility/change that demands a lot more "Navigation" of the sub's psyche than files do. It's more involved. As I said earlier, it's more intimate. And it's a lot more responsibility.

I still try to be responsible with my files. I pay attention to safeties, ethics, etc. I am wary of encouraging irresponsible behaviours without appropriate softening, and I generally temper my own desires a little when writing to avoid causing harm inadvertently. But that same caution would make live work very challenging to do well, so I haven't yet.

Sorry for the seriousness of the post, but I figured it was worthy of a full response. Thanks for reading.

[genericaces]

I always got the impression Illyria was a he/him in their original god king form but defaulted to she/her when taking Fred as a vessel. In general though I don’t think pronouns actually matter to Illyria. I think he/him was assigned by followers and she/her is assigned by ats crew.

Valid! Canon doesn't dive too deeply into it, so I think a lot of it is up for interpretation. AFAIK all we get in canon is that Knox and Drogyn refer to Illyria (the original god-king) with it pronouns (as do the ATS crew), and it's only when it's in Fred's body that the crew start using she/her. Which is to say that I think that you're correct that it's other people projecting a gender onto it and struggling to disentangle Illyria from Fred.

But also! What I've always found interesting is that Knox (basically the only character on the show with an emotional connection to the original Illyria) entwines a... crush? For lack of a better word? on Fred with his worship of Illyria, and I can't make up my mind, personal headcanon-wise, if he's just projecting or if there's historical precedent for this. Like, what's the thought process behind, "yeah sure I'll resurrect my epic god-king (gender neutral) in the body of my beautiful co-worker"? Also there's this adolescent crush/obsession vibe when he says:

And when I first saw this, I thought this was going to lead into a parable about how some dudes will 'worship' women and make them into god-like figures in their heads, but in doing so, also infantilize them and want to control them? Like I legit thought this was going to evolve into an "I Was Made to Love You" type lesson about objectifying women, where Knox both worships Illyria and feels "owed" for resurrecting her, and when he throws a tantrum about her not being appropriate grateful, she kills him. And this would mirror the condescension that Fred experiences throughout the show -- that ultimately what kills Fred is Knox putting her up on this pedestal as a "perfect woman" rather than seeing her as a complete person:

Like, Knox says this to Wesley just before Wes pulls his gun on him, and I thought this would be about Wes being forced to confront the ways in which HE could also flatten Fred into a symbol of goodness and not see her as a whole person at times. Which would then mimic the ways that nearly every member of the Angel crew harbors feelings of guilt over what happened to Fred.

(Alternatively in my AU where Wes gets Illyria'd, I think it's ultimately about Wes CHOOSING to die in Fred's place, against her wishes, in a way that's heroic/tragic but also intertwined with the complicated feelings Fred has about being patronized by the others and being perceived as the one who needs to 'protecting.' Like, how do you grapple with that grief alongside that resentment? *Wesley voice* "I think I hate her a little for that." But this is getting way off topic.)

ANYWAYS. Obviously none of that happened, so maybe I'm reading subtext where there isn't any or I just missed something. This is all a long way of saying that much of Illyria's arc feels very gendered in my interpretation, not just in the god-king-beyond-human-comprehension way but in the conflict surrounding it. To get back to your ask, I do agree that Illyria doesn't care about pronouns. I do think it's funny in the Wes!Illyria AU if the only person who DOES care is Fred, who's out there pulling (in the most well-intentioned way) the "its pronouns are she/her" move

[taravangianlistenstothebeachboys]

Some notes from watching Ghibli's Tales from Earthsea:

I guess they were hoping having Lebannen be a killer runaway would make him more engaging a character than he was in Le Guin's books. Certainly its a more exciting introduction than "was sent to Roke and Ged decided he should tag along." But this is hampered by how Lebannen and all these characters have maybe two character traits between them.

No matter how bad the movie is, if its a Ghibli film its gonna be beautiful. The background artists for this should be given a medal. Hork town especially is incredible:

Although these are clearly Ghibli asthetics more than Earthsea aesthetics. We got all your Ghibli staples: the weird mammals that are almost real animals, the random fighterpilot elements in the costume design, that one weird type of hood, etc.

I do like the action scene of Lebannen dealing with the slavers. Only well-paced part of the film I've seen.

The shadow "visiting" Lebannen while he rests was done very well. The color dimming, the shadow on the water, the rushing wind towards him, its all great. I'm especially a fan of how when Lebannen looks over his shoulder, he sees nothing but a stream of water coming out of a wall. Fits with what's actually happening on in the dryland very well.

The "Ged rescues Lebannen but only takes the chains off the other slaves" is a weird detail to keep in the adaptation, though I guess it's less an obviously dick move when the slaves aren't trapped on a boat with their former captors.

I feel mixed about this version of Cob? Making him the slaver lord isn't a bad choice, though it does kind of positions slavery in Earthsea as "the bad thing that the one bad guy is doing" instead of, y'know, a cornerstone of Hork Town's economy.

They don't make him an especially originally villain either. He's literally introduced with the old "flash of villains castle, lieutenant comes in nervously to report on escape, almost gets killed until he mentions something important" trope. They did kind of flatten him into the stock fantasy big bad.

But Cob from the books didn't really have a lot going on character-wise either, so its less offensive a flattening than some of the other characters. And I do like his character design alot. That eye makeup is some Hot Topic Shit but it works. The thin lips and tall everything is a type of exaggeration I don't see in Ghibli's character design very often.

Christ, Ged's monologue about the balance and true names is really just plopped on the audience's lap like a dead mouse. The bridge from "why does a wizard like farming" to "everything has a true name that wizard's use for its power" is nonexistent. They really couldn't find another place to explain the basics of the magic system? Couldn't seed it with Ged using true names while freeing the slaves? No? Lord.

The ghibli food twitters aren't gonna touch this movie. No love was put into that cheese.

Oh this depiction of the dry lands fucks. Love how the sky is a completely different artstyle than anything else in this movie, really sells this as a weird and alien place.

Hare and two suspicious women clutching each other and going "they're not from around here" are the only time this movie has felt like it knew what it was doing. They're giving them banter and the actors are being allowed to put emotion into their voices. They're actually breaking out facial expressions for these guys.

God all the dialogue is so bad.

WHEN IS THIS SONG GONNA FUCKING END

What the fuck is Lebannen and Tehanu's relationship. None of their emotional beats have any real connection.

The thing haunting Lebannen (are they giving him the gebbeth plotline?) always makes the best scenes. Lebannen struggling to wade through the muck while the shadow casually strolls atop the water's surface creates such great tension and horror.

Tenar keeps talking about being rescued from the tombs and pausing like there's about to be a flashback. Why are they bringing so much attention to that detail if they're not gonna tie it in to anything. Either have it be an aside to make the world feel richer without it being a thing your constantly gesturing at, or don't bring it up at all.

It really was a choice to take the worst Earthsea book as the main thing they're adapting. All the "life without death is no life" rubbish and not even Le Guin's prose to save it. It's not even a theme the rest of the movie seems concerned with.

Why are they taking something called "Earthsea" and making 90% the outskirts of Hork Town. We saw the ocean like twice. This supposedly expansive fantasy world feels twenty feet across.

Having Tehanu follow the gebbeth to the castle is honestly a really cool adaptational choice. I do like the weird conflict they set up between the gebbeth and Cob over who gets to have Lebannen.

Great shot of Cob getting amputated. Thats some Mononoke-level satisfying gore.

See when Ged didn't do shit for most of The Far Shore it was fine, because it was the third book in the series and the reader already knew why he was a big deal. Here we keep hearing how cool and powerful he is but get shown nothing.

2D has grown odd in his old age.

They have not set up dragons as a thing (or connectd them to Tehanu) nearly enough for this ending to work. Having Tehanu transform instead of calling Kalesin works adaptation-wise though.

Final analysis: I liked Hork Town. I like how the dragons trail sparks from their eyes. I like Cob going all gooey. I like Hare. These were the isolated pockets in an otherwise bland experience. The plot was barely held together and I can't imagine someone who hadn't read the books would be able to enjoy this at all.

[kaileedraws]

Tell me, why did you want to turn Miraculous into a dark adult-themed story even though you thought Adrien being a senti was too much?

Long story short: I love psychologically dissecting stories and Miraculous is the perfect target for my madness. The characters have so much potential and I want to explore that.

I started this journey before I even connected the dots about Adrien’s origins. Actually, what started this was when I started to realize how many dark alleys were glossed over in the show. For example: Ladybug’s PTSD, Marinette’s panic attacks, bullying, lack of gore, grief, literal abuse, stalkers, relationship trauma, the fear that everyone has so they must regulate their emotions properly or they will turn into a supervillain, etcetera etcetera. Also, watching the show Invincible and (part) of The Boys gave me the idea to try and create the Miraculous world if it actually took place in real life. Heroes would be just like celebrities - and the world of celebrities is actually messed up. For example, as a celebrity and a model, Adrien would be exposed to copious amounts of peer pressure to do drugs, be sexually exploited, and a bunch of other fun stuff that no one talks about. It also bothered me that people are so blind in the show and the amount of plot holes I just — ok.

The miraculous world was all too sunshine and rainbows (I mean, it has to be for a kids show but) for what was beneath the surface, and I wanted to expose the truth. I want to show what life is really like underneath all the frosting. It’s all just so interesting.

It’s a super twisted and dark story but it’s also bringing awareness to the world because people actually experience some of the things these characters go through, and I believe it deserves to be brought to the light instead of hidden under the rug. Many of the miraculous characters have the start of these concepts, I just want to explore them a little bit more. (The coming-of-age and sexualization stuff is also why I needed to age them up — cause its a topic that deserves the limelight, but inappropriate for an adult to explore in the context of 14 year olds— even if it does happen (me lolololo)).

To answer the second part of your question, Adrien being a sentimonster isn’t too much dark-wise, it just doesn’t make sense plot-wise. Plus, it just seems sort of irrelevant and almost like a half-assed plot point that was just thrown in carelessly at the last moment - and it’s just such an obscure detail that I didn’t even catch it the first time watching the show. I dunno, it just seems too convenient? And the fact that there are so many plot holes that doesn’t support him being a sentimonster? (Chat blanc destroying everything and still existing).

I’m going to play with ideas surrounding sentimonsters but I’m probably going to dumb the power down a little bit - like creating little guys that are built for one task and then upon fulfillment of that task, can’t endure the pain existence causes. I mean these are creatures created from a single powerful emotion - existence must be painful.

Also, also, I’d love the help from the community with this!! Please exercise my brain muscles and asks me questions you have about the show/my au so we can psychologically dissect miraculous!

[irkimatsu]

physical or emotional characteristics you would like in a human husk

Sorry for sitting on this for a bit! I'll admit, part of me was being autistic and overthinking this. Is this about what I'm personally attracted to in Husk, or what I think would be best for his story in canon? Is this about what he was like before he died, or what he'd be like if he could be human again after everything that's happened to him in hell?

I'm going with "how I see him as a human on Earth before death, and who I thought he was regardless of my own personal attractions and biases". (Well, a little bit of my own biases. No such thing as unbiased fiction. But accuracy is my priority on this one.)

First and foremost - human Husk is black. I will die on that hill until canon tells me otherwise. There could be other pieces of heritage in there somewhere - I don't think I'm qualified to speculate on that too hard - but as far as skin tone goes, he's black. I also like when art gives him dreads, it just looks right, though I'm not as much of a stickler on that matter. Gotta have some scruffy facial hair, though, I demand that much.

As for why... is it all the good fanart that made other options look wrong in comparison? Is it because he's voiced by Keith David and I just can't imagine a white guy sounding like Keith David? Those are definitely pieces of it. I know it's not canon and I'm not out here attacking people who lean otherwise on Husk's race, but as for me, he's black, end of discussion. On the shorter end of the average as far as male heights go, but he's not noticeably short in isolation. Definitely taller than my short and stout self. Weight probably fluctuates depending on his situation - his finances as a gambler would be all over the place, and so would his diet, varying between lavish meals in overpriced steakhouses, and dinners at home consisting primarily of cheese puffs and bottom-shelf beer. I do like him with a gut, though. Maybe he's just naturally predisposed to having a gut, even when he's starving. (Told you there'd be some bias.)

I'd definitely want to put decent thought about what it was like for him as a black man growing up in early 20th century Las Vegas, but without being 110% certain that anything I'm saying makes any fucking sense, I'm biting my tongue on that one. Definitely a topic I'm interested in, though.

I should also probably mention that yes, I know it's a common headcanon for Husk to be a trans man. It's interesting! I have no actual reason for not writing it myself. Not sure what to do with it, I guess? If it was canon I'd of course pay more attention to that aspect, but for now, whoops. You guys have fun, obviously! Just like with the popular ship, if anyone ever took "Irk doesn't write this thing" as "Irk thinks that thing is bad" I'd cry, don't do that

I like the name Oscar for him while alive. Saw it in a post on here once and it just felt right. Thank you, random Tumblr user I forgot who you are whoops again! Until canon tells me otherwise, he's Oscar in my heart.

I think his dress style while alive would match a similar trajectory to his Overlord-to-servant transition - a snappy dresser when he can afford it, would never be caught dead looking the least bit disheveled. Button-up shirts, freshly ironed suits, the finest colognes! But after he's a washed up divorced drunk, who gives a shit. His clothes are a lot more tattered now... but honestly, living in a place like Vegas where half the population are various flavors of downtrodden, washed-up addict, he doesn't stand out. At least he has that going for him.

Personality-wise, I think as a child and a young man, he was a big dreamer, even a bit of an attention whore. He's wanted to be a performer for as long as he can remember, ever since he started seeing magic shows and jazz bands as a kid. He may still be introverted in the sense that putting on a show is exhausting and he needs his space, but when he's in the right frame of mind, the stage is where he belongs. He worked so, so fucking hard to be a performer! He really could have been something if Vegas didn't chew him up and barf him out...

That dreamer attitude also made him a serious romantic when he was younger. If you accept a date from that man, he will spoil you. Flowers, fancy dinner (if he can afford it), a personal serenade... he doesn't fall into actual honest-to-god love very often, but when he does, he falls hard and puts everything he has into showing the person he loves that he cares. He does lean toward monetary gifts = affection, though... please, Husk, sometimes your partner really would be happiest with a hug and a song. But he doesn't see it that way, he has to keep gambling to be able to afford the lavish lifestyle his lover deserves. Fucking Vegas.

As an older man on Earth, after a turbulent divorce and decades of addiction and depression, he's a lot like the version of himself in the hotel. Doesn't give a shit about much besides where he's going to get his next drink. He does miss his dreams and wonder what could have been if he didn't screw it all up... but there's no point thinking about wasted opportunity. It just hurts. Drink it away instead. He spends his last few years alone, gambling and drinking and just waiting to finally fucking die.

Death was supposed to be a second chance for him, you know? He could pick himself, become someone again! Too bad for him that "someone" was once again a gambler, and that addiction is always going to catch up with him...

This is a rambling mess. I apologize! I just hope I answered the question correctly! Sorry if I messed it up!

[visiblenostalgia]

The Future Of The Internet: Data Sets

(and dominant sign+planet calculations)

as fated by my last post, I’ve since ran the numbers and figured out what planets/signs to look for in regards to the future of the digital space.

FYI:

-> All shortened key points will be shown in the graphs alternative description.

The Process:

(personally, not professionally) calculated planets all have been started with a base value of '1.5' to give leverage so there wouldn't be any wonky zero's and non-values for extra measure. These will be dependent variables based on if there was a case of exaltation or dominance which adds a point, and if they were in fall or detriment to dock them a point. That way, the minimal value that can be traced was a '0.5' at the lowest. The highest (because of adding another point based on how many times a sign got ticked, therefore the ruling planet gets emphasis), can result in a '5.5'.

However, what can be said for the signs, is that all have a base value of '1'. signs have been added points based on how many planets have touched it and which degree they were applicable too (therefore giving them an extra point based on degree theory). These would be our independent variables. Because of the fact it's all based on how many times this sign was marked in the ephemeris at the time of data collection.

Without further ado..... more after the cut

The Content:

Date 1: The Internet

April 30th 1993

In terms of planets:

Because of how new it was back then and due to the fact that it was an open ticket to letting the creativity of the people manifest quickly, small businesses and people alike would begin to put their external or internal personality out there. Hence the Sun and Moon being the two most dominant objects within the chart.

It makes sense because of the rapid non-retrograde cycles for the two Luminaries to rule over the internet. Those change day by day and seeing at how we do things around here in the digital space, you can see where things change without a second thought.

One day it's the Kendrick n' Drake drama. Hitting you in the feels and getting you hyped up for the next drop. The next day it would have been.... god knows what else.

For it to cast lunar dominance also makes sense because of the strong pull to cast out emotionally-pulling articles/topics. Protests have been emotional, songs and influencers have this emotional spin on them, there's nothing stopping someone from expressing their issues on the internet. Hence why there's a bigger influence of people who have had it rough IRL on there. People flock to a place where they can be real.

Sadly though, since empathy also occurs within people, sometimes there's a propensity to worry about someone you don't know about irl. Be wise you never know if it's emotional bait either.

That can align well with lunar dominance as an Achilles heel for it. Manipulation and baiting.

Solar dominance would also and more likely be aligned with influencers. Check out any youtube's chart and look to their sun for a basic run-down on how their internet influence looks. Heck, if you're thinking about your hypothetical brand, what's your sun sign? Look for that!

The achilles heel for the solar dominance? Power. More preferably: Absolute power. You'll see THAT with some political figures or influencers. Dogma. Lots of ego. Not knowing when to slow down.

In terms of zodiacal sign:

Leo, Sagittarius and Capricorn take top spot.

The Leo energy can apply to the solar dominance stuff as stated above. But it's also inclined to rule over beauty standards and lots of glitz and glam. Enhancing the need to be 'popular' online.

Sagittarius would make sense due to the nature of the internet being what I like to call "man's greatest philosophical experiment". Not to mention the fact that libraries do give sagittarius energy as a whole. Internet Archive being a perfect case.

Capricorn as the final taker would have to stand a good case for being a business oriented place. Meant to be a second-hand referral place to a business. Paper-free business cards anyone?

The Possibilities and Vibes (Good):

For Lunar dominance = I don't know why but, being at your relative's/friend's house during Christmas, working on a website at their place while drinking a hot cocoa in the evening with that soft vintage glow of the ceiling fan. It's a second home for your internal self. Your *Alter* ego.

Solar = Pinterest. Lots and lots and lots of 'art hoe' vibes. Yellow colors and sunflowers. The sunflower caseify case for an iPhone. Sunflower stickers for your Macintosh/PC/Laptop (whatever you use).

Leo = wholesome beauty influencers. And I MEAAN wholesome. They bring everyone up legitimately instead of bringing someone down using subversive tactics to make someone think they look ugly. It's the kind to be all about 'good vibes' and even adding in sentences like 'if_____ isn't for you, that's okay! here's some alternatives.' and they go off.

AND LASTLY for our great giant ruling signs, lots of friendship energy. Getting together to have fun. Christmas break energy once again. The internet is a refuge. A vacation from real life whilst also being a place to work and get stuff done. Made for higher learning and business.

In fact on that last point I made. If the little ones weren't on it, I'm pretty sure the respect people have for one another like they did back in the 90s would still exist. (part of the Post-Break energy I see)

The Possibilities and Vibes (Concerning):

Lunar = Propensity to the manipulation and baiting people go looking for or creating online. Mental illnesses. Too much awareness that leaves people thinking too much, therefore poor mental health.

Solar/Leo = Popularity/Clout, unchecked ego

Sagittarius/Capricorn = Ghosting energy. Unchecked power. Hard serves of karma. Hacking. Communicative issues (Sag opposes Gemini (debilitated mercury))

Date 2: Geocities + Yahoo

January 28th 1999

In terms of planets:

The moon seems to still have a hold when the geocities website was acquired by yahoo. So, same good and bad from the above statements on the internet itself.

Jupiter dominance seems to show more of a propensity to expand ones horizons mentally. It sort of aligns well with the past energies of Sagittarius (due to the ruling planet BEING Jupiter). So, because of that, websites and internet hubs that were formally in the grid of being on their own network, hence "geocities", then the acquirement via Yahoo is quite literally a Jupiterian move. Choosing to merge and expand horizons for online dwellers.

In terms of zodiac signs:

Aquarius takes the top spot. Very much adding onto the effect of how humanity can turn their own piece of the internet into a hub for their own niche group. Must this point be the start of forums? Most likely.

Taurus sets itself up to be the next dominant sign right after Aquarius. Which, for Yahoo at the time, this was a big financial win for them. A good move to boost revenue while the people gained a positive aspect to be seen by more people online. Increasing availability and access to the people.

The Possibilities and Vibes (Good):

Because we look back on that now with nostalgia, it brought up the influence of Fruitger Aero. Or at least was the catalyst of it back then. Aquarius' ruling color IS an ice blue while Taurus has the earthy green tones that add to the welcoming energy of this proto-2.0 internet.

Gen Z and Xennials happy place. Lowkey was more fun back then cause of it, right?

The Possibilities and Vibes (Concerning):

Aquarius does have some bits of edgy humor. Many sites that were dedicated to some people's internal lives were sorta... gothic and sometimes even a little uncanny to be fair. But that was the allure of the internet since we had respect for people's aesthetic decisions. Everyone's ma'am's and grams wanted in on it. And you ended up going in too cause you were curious.

It was sort of like how the boomers said 'the kids played in the 100 degree weather with a metal slide. but they grew up and did okay' kind of energy.

For older Gen Z's (20 & over btw (basically myself as well)) it might go a little something like this; 'we went on supposedly haunted websites, played grand theft auto on the '360 and played slenderman games as well as found adult party websites cause we thought we were cool for doing so. it was funny and sometimes still is today, but we grew up alright. Right? Some of us have gone off to college...." you can include the rest here. Go nuts as you wish.

Date 3: Neocities

June 28th 2013

In terms of planets:

Lunar dominance still has some sway. Same for Jupiter in close third. Take what's been said above about the conjoining and accessibility of Geocities and Yahoo as reference.

The biggest dog by far here has got to be Neptune. Because of the fact that at the time of this website coding hub's creation also coincided with the first ten degrees of the Neptune in Pisces transit, there's a lot of illusive and mysteriousness to the vibes of the Neo-y2k internet. Alt/indie-sites were much on the chagrin of the looks of proto-2.0, but have also been inclined to be inclusive and welcoming to all those that wish to be here. Increased sensitivity and overbearing energy. A 'don't hurt them they're small' energy.

In terms of signs:

Cancer and Pisces dominance.

Notice how this place doesn't subject you to push for anything other than a hub to kick back and relax in. Scour through the psyche of many people and learn what they're into. Not to mention this also acts as a place where people can ignite their 'alter-ego's once again.

There's no need to be a business here. This is all for hobbies and nigh else. Sometimes it can also work as a family blog. And that makes sense. It brings people together to show what kind of coding they can pull off.

The Possibilities and Vibes (Good):

Lunar/Jupiter/Cancer= A second place to call home returns. The Alter Ego can return. Respect comes back full front and center. The vibes of being around the Christmas tree or with the universal/generational/found family come back.

Neptune/Pisces = you can create... whatever your heart desires. Because the internet has expanded so rapidly over the years after the merger between yahoo and the former geocities, there's so many textures and designs out there for people to use and conceptualize. Truly a place to get creative without scrutiny.

The Possibilities and Vibes (Concerning):

Cancer/Pisces/Moon/Neptune= Due to the way that the world works now, it's tough to get into. It's not like Wix and with people tending to now procrastinate (because of the technology addictions we've been getting ourselves into), it's rather small and niche. Nothing is ever handed to you on a plate, and it shows in some of the sites that people take forever to master/decorate it due to how much their own personal life outside of their tech takes up.

Jupiter = ..... I will say this much about it.... I find no negativity here with this planet when it concerns the iffy vibes I get with Neocities. It's just the struggle of finding your feet here.

For the future of the internet:

Points to check:

Anything aspecting Neptune or wherever Neptune transits to. Online culture and pop culture follows

Jupiter for how information and higher thought processes are taken into account

The Moon for the drama and what/how people will be beefing about in the online space

My predictions (shortened):

BREAK (which seems more likely with all the rage being sent everywhere online and especially within comment sections in certain places):

Smaller sized networks. More individualistic networks. Like Neocities, Tumblr and Discord will gradually be flocked to.

Great decrease in social media by some generations. (If parents don't watch their time on social media, the kids won't either. be a good model is all I can say)

Greater emphasis on learning how to use the tools we're given (at least with the upcoming Jupiter in Gemini transit)

If there are kids online (17 and under, yes I'm calling that out), they're gonna be talked to about the dangers in being online. Communication on the digital space. Confidentiality being the big main issue. Figuring out what's real and what isn't. Separating yourself FROM the addiction before the brain fully develops.

If political content reigns somewhere, may it be 4chan forever and always. Reddit seems like an easy blame, but 4chan is most definitely the place for political slander and content.

Big names like X, Meta, Wix and Youtube for example are gonna be the center network. People will still do their content through there, but it's greater emphasis on business suggests children shouldn't be roaming there in the first place.

Your best case of kids on the internet would be on Edmodo. If you don't know what that is, look it up. I used to use it back in the day during my days in elementary school because they were experimenting with that sorta thing.

As always, take what resonates and I hope y'all's weekends go well.

Thank you for your time in reading the statistics and the ratings. I hope I made my mark well!

See you on the flip side!

~visiblenostalgia