#theres not really a need to freak out
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the gw3 concept hasnt even been greenlit yet calm your horses
#my stuff#it was brought up at an investors meeting where they were like#basically... trying to reassure investors despite their finances being bad lol#and they went back afterwards and mentioned basically its NOT in development they are#considering... greenlighting the Concept of gw3?#which is before development even starts#theyre CONSIDERING letting them come up with IDEAS for a gw3 basically#and it was primarily mentioned to get more money from shareholders#sssoooooo#theres not really a need to freak out#theres so many things that could happen#itd be YEARS before we saw even CONCEPTS of it#and gw2 is ncsofts current big cash cow so its not tanking in the meantime#its also so far off its useless to speculate on it#literally nothing about it has been mentioned aside from title#it might not even be an mmo#it might not even get made!!!
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She wails as though a part of her has died.
oh man. i picked up the sidestory to @just-a-carrot's five-arc horror epic a couple days ago and i'm so glad i did. i'll probably be talking nonstop and/or drawing about it for days
there's a handful of whiteboard doodles with other characters under the cut, but rly i just wanted to pay a homage to the scene that hit me the hardest... enjoy
#theres already PARAGRAPHS upon paragraphs in my partners dms over this freaking thing but like listen to me (jingle jingle) PAY ATTENTION#i feel like i have to add that visual novels arent really something i take interest in at all this one jus JUMPED me#i actually played the side piece (our cinderella) first + was so in love with the writing i went to check out the main story. worth it#and i DEFINITELY won't be able to fit everything i want to say in the tags but its so refreshing to read/play thru a novel where the protag#are regular ass adults. like middle class thirty year olds barely breaking even. and that still get sappy unapologetically.#need more stories like this fr#that aside it's been fucking crazy to look at iggy's character arc through his eyes considering yk.. everything.#theres no universal asexual experience or anything but sometimes there'd be a line in there that made me like. sit up and go damn what the#i did that. i do that.#it's. i cant explain it in depth in the tags its about the way topics are skirted around and the realization that something is#uncomfortable in a way you werent expecting it to be. or even on your radar. theres so much#ugh. im unwell. anyways.#dewdles#our wonderland#gidget bordelle#iggy maxwell#genzou#genzou ichihara#cecil- does cecil have a last name??? cecil.#blood#injury#ask to tag
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Reading shit comics kind of sucks but at least I get the satisfaction of proving my own point w this
#like damn if i really was 100% right about this before i even knew what i was talking about#anyways one of the many many problems with new 52 wonder woman is the fact that diana isnt religious enough#also that azzarello and chiang are incapable of imagining a feminist utopia which is the original genre that wonder woman comics were based#in in the same way that batman for example is connected to the noir genre. and the mythological aspects of the og wonder woman comics were#in fact a common framing aspect of the feminist utopia genre of the progressive era (with many of the deeper greek mythology aspects being#established as the foremost ww genre later on)#anyways this failure to understand this layering of genres in the ww mythology i believe is the principle contributor of why this run which#is popular with many and has such a footprint in other more mainstream media is hated by so many longtime wonder woman fans in that it not#only neglects but actively goes against key parts of her premise#a comparison could be made to a superman run that is heavily based in science fiction and exploring deep sci fi genre plots without any#understanding by the creators of why it matters that superman is champion of the oppressed and disrespecting that core part of him by in#some ways making him actually go against that in service of the high sci fi genre plots and conflict#and then ofc to translate better in this reality this run would function like a can of worms in that while dc in comics would eventually#course correct back to the base version the public opinion would become divided and especially adaptations would need all the canon changes#from that run torn viciously out of their hands bc they refuse to LET IT GO#anyways yeah teehee i swore to someone id never read it but i needed it for fic research purposes unfortunately so i started it. only read 6#issues but meh. first one wasnt terrible tbh id read worse but after that i got much more unhappy#anyways they simply dont understand why people like the amazons or why people should like the amazons. which again is like half the freaking#point bc like. feminist utopia genre. but i digress#its bad but its bad in a way that proves me right about why its bad so at least theres that#someday when i post my rebirth ww fic ill post the analysis of nu52 ww and the comparison to the beat movement/ginsberg that ive got in my#drafts. finally get that A in comic book literary analysis#blah
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#hello to anyone who happens to b interested in the saga of my life... also maybe the irl person i gave my url to... hopefully my blog#didnt freak her out too much lol. anyway so its been a busy week? 2 weeks? month? year? life? its been a lot. my parents helped me move#across the country from the desert to somewhere that's beautiful and green. my dad is so jealous of me lol its so so so pretty and theres s#so much to do. will i do any of it? that remains to be seen but im gonna try to be better about that sort of thing. try to get some help#with the thoughts in my head that keep me from doing and enjoying most things. its weird like im decorating my new room which i love. the#location and living situation seem ideal and i really hope i can stay here all 5 years of my program but i was picking a lot of bright#colors and now it feel uncomfortable. like if i wear things that r too bright or my room is too bright without dark contrast it feel weird#like if im wearing it it kinda makes me feel sick. idk what thats abt. anyway. ill try to heal my brain and im just so happy to b out of the#southwest. i was so so so excited when we were leaving thr city and even more so when we left the state. i cant believe im here. in December#it felt like a million years away and i really truely could not fathom how i was gonna survive that long. my thoughts were so distorted. but#i did and here i am. and in like a month i should b starting my phd program and my parents were telling me how excited ppl r for me and#jealous of where im living and im glad. im glad they're excited. i think i am too but its under a layer of: if i get excited it wont happen#im not allowed to b excited or it wont happen. which is irrational but ya kno. anyway so that's yeah. im so happy to have a fresh start and#the town seems super cool. a liberal blip in a sea of... not that so theyre very visibly pride forward haha and i think itll b way easier#for me to get around without driving. and im gonna try to make friends. i need someone to tell me where to get tattoos haha. so yea im happy#but exhausted and i dont wanna go back to work and so so greatful to my parents for being wonderful ppl idk how bc both of them had fucked#up childhoods. like my mum will say the saddest shit and im like bro this is y i don't wanna talk to my grandma fuck her and my dads parents#r so fucked. like my nana is the reason im so fucking control freaked out but i kno i have issues and she has no insight and thinks shes#better than everyone. anyway hopefully i can get back to drawing a posting more now. ive been drawing it its been in a sketch book#like an actual sketch book for sketching big ideas thst r gonna take fucking forever to draw 😭#so that's all. just uprooted my whole life. thats all. but in a good way :-]#unrelated
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he loves that tea so god damn much
#so many mentions and chapter inclusions of his most beloved magical tea ...... its really so cute#its so serious. olruggios all like ''tea-lover qifrey'' He loves that shit#theres a chapter where olruggio needs to do something nice for qifrey so while hes out he buys some#top of the line handcrafted bookmark tea. and hes like i have to be more creative than just handing it to him ...#and bakes the flavor into a cake. and qifrey is like hahaha. i knew it. olruggio did you bake willow grape tea into this cake#and hes like yes. and then qifrey freaks out because olruggio used a really expensive kind#hes all like To use such an item in a snack .... ahh no ..! thank you .... i mean .... but still !#hahaha#(this is one of the few chapters i was convinced i made up#when the apprentices were like ''is it really okay to use this ? isnt bookmark tea for entertaining guests?''#and hes like ''we dont get guests that often .... so its fine''#hahahahahaha
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Forcing you to Look At Them
#your honor theyre FLIRTING#Martin isnt very good at it tho lmao#call your crush a wuss‚ lie‚ then kick them out of a flying vehicle#YEET#i love their dynamic so much agdjsgsjdg#THEY SHOULDVE BEEN GIVEN THE SPIRK TREATMENT#i think its important to note that they BOTH scream the entire way doen the chute so like#and this scene occurs right after my man Mike gets TWO shots of truth serum which is Prime Fanfic Material#and trust me I'm Working On That#idk how to tag these posts bc theres practically no fandom around this show#and as much as I wanna find other fans i dont want my content to be found by bigots yknow?#small fandoms always freak me out that way#espescially since its an older show#i also need to figure out how to tag the ship bc the names Mike and Martin dont really go together very well#for now i guess ill just use placeholders#mike/martin#screaming into the void about my silly 80s gays#v the original miniseries#v the series#v the final battle#v-posting#gaslight gatekeep girlboss <3
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#images that are for me and lucy#i need the women to be more relevant . i need my woman back and not written out like shit .#thoughts ->#i think she should straight up just be osi still/again (maybe temporarily quit for a bit)#assigned during s4 bc fuck hatred#she wants the boys to have a more normal life -> D is drawn to that -> thats what begins the divide between the boys not whatever s7 was#<- not to say they wouldnt get along during then its just when they start being less together#and i think that would allow more stuff w H + R especially seeing how much H values TV + his dad's approval in general#god theres just so much lacking w H + R in general like their dynamic is so tossed aside its just jokes and uncaring#like the hospital talk in s7 could have been something but it wasnt . i just really like H's relationship w his dad#theres just so much potential w it thats not there#B should have the same rivalry he had s SgtH except better this time and not just for one ep#i think they should be at each others throats whenever they see each other bc they have such different expectations from the boys#and the family in general#very much tries to be a mother figure to the boys which H rejects (like how he started w SgtH) and D has complicated feelings abt it#i think she goes back and forth abt hating R because she hates that their clones but is happy theyre alive but hates that theyre trapped#in the life they have and wants to try to make it more normal#but they would start going on adventures again (which freaks B out) because god damn . i miss their adventures#which ik isnt 'normal' but i think she would also have a different view on 'normal' being osi#basically i need my woman back . bring her back . for me#i think her being around would also push the want for finding their 'real' mom more than like . the reasoning in the movie or whatever#actually im gonna toot my own horn . her presence would just make things work better irt family dynamic stuff#vs whatever the hell happened in s4 and s7 .#anyway . bring her back . im about to rewrite so much stuff for the ladies but god damn she is my woman#<- already did NF . now its her time#my art#okay good bye i wrote a novel
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one of my random favorite little tidbits abt coldcase/nosy au ch2 era is knowing that johnny taught maria over those near 20 years how to use his hunting rifle and i just think its at least a Little Scary a Little Heartbreaking to imagine re-meeting your sunshine friend who you've believed to be Dead for Years at that point, realizing that holy shit shes alive, but then getting a warning shot at your feet from one of the windows / balconies / etc bc its now Her Home Too theyre trespassing on and shes got a family to keep safe and for all she knows, and by the looks of things, theyre a Threat-
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#[ ♡ ] ── * maria f. / 𝘭𝘰𝘳𝘦.#johnny teaching her how to use his rifle. teaching her how to handle a knife & for the Fun of it All how to fuckin throw it Way Too Close#to someone and freak them out. him & lee respectively teaching her how to defend herself. how to fight back in a way thats feasible for her#its simply just that 20 years is a Long Ass Time & so much can change & so much Did change & was returning really Worth it now-#was finding answers Worth It. knowing that those you knew & loved have been warped & changed & molded into something else?#cc maria is a little softer still. in most routes there shes a little easier to falter w/ her old friends.#nosy maria? theres a bubbling under the surface thats long been simmering of anger & disgust & hate on lees behalf specifically that he#had gotten left behind & then never properly looked for! like near zero attempts seemingly! and it pisses her off still!!#shes colder in nosy towards them if they show up. but shes also more willing in nosy to use their blind trust against them if needed.#deceive them if needed. play up the part of what they likely have imagined her as this entire time - scared girl cowered in a corner#pleading for someone to finally find her; help her.#[ 𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘦. ] ── * cold case.#[ 𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘦. ] ── * no one saved you.#[ rel. ] ── * johnny s. / 𝘫𝘰𝘩𝘯𝘯𝘺𝘴𝘴𝘭𝘢𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘦𝘳.#[ rel. ] ── * leland m. / 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦𝘴𝘷𝘦𝘳.
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I think klavier has The Autisms and/or OCD. Btw.
"he's just a perfectionist" he got so distracted and upset about a missed cue in a song that it distracted him from a literal murder investigation. He felt so strongly about it that he couldn't get past it.
#when he does that thing where he grabs his head and shakes it like hes trying to physically shake out the feeling hes having?#thats something ive done countless times. i know the feeling hes feeling in those moments. its an awful feeling#you cover your ears even though it doesnt help and it doesnt protect you from it but you feel like you need to keep your head on#you shake your head as if you could physically clear out the awful thoughts/ feelings like an etch a sketch but it doesnt work#but neither does anything else#and this reaction in me at least is usually caused by intrusive/obsessive thoughts or being forced out of my routine without warning#he also usually does it when he realizes theres a detail jn a case he hadnt known about/considered: he hates not knowing every detail#whenever evidence/testimony he wasnt aware of comes to light during a trial he freaks the fuck out. he seems to react *really* strongly#like most of the reactions in these games are a bit overdramatic but usually its just like... someone being taken aback !!! not... despair#his reaction really stands out to me#it feels... important.#klavier gavin
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I gotta be less hard on myself. Annoyingly i know that my best work comes from when i am hard on myself. But i keep stopping myself from doing things i want to due to perfectionism. Annoying.
#atm i feel like im just chasing interest after interest after interest#ive been working on my mimecraft base a lot but i have. complex feelings about the base atm#im happy with it and its paradise.#its too paradise that it makes me unsettled#which is nonsense its my place and my build#but i feel a lot of pressure to make it perfect#even though I and vee are the only ones who go there and i dont really care about the likes on my posts anymore#it still makes me feel. odd.#i love the work though i love the style and i love using it as a means to imagine a better world#atm im really enjoying just spending time on the server hanging out with vee#but i get into my own head a lot about the base#its not even just the base im talking about everything but the base is the example#i built a bit of a weird interior today i just went crazy with the terracotta and the plants and a pool of water#and i keep thinking on if it was the 'right' thing to do#and if i will be able to complete it properly to a high enough standard#it also doesnt help that ive improved over the course of the last 2 years in building#so now my house looks off and weird and theres trees that need to be taken down and paths that are over textured#but i find the process of doing it and the feeling of completion really deep and important#i dont know. i feel like im constantly in a battle of pushing myself to be better but limiting myself at the same time by having fun or sthn#i feel like i should be making youtube videos or at least prepping to#but i havent because i cant figure out how to organise mods and its freaking me out. theres just loads of excuses stopping me#i dont know.#the annoying thing is pushing myself creatively has resulted in massive benefits for me lately creatively#partly i think why im feeling odd with the base atm is because ive suddenly gone for being barely able to play an hour a night to having all#the time in the world so its created a sudden influx in development#idk. this is rambly#fish talks#i want to download a minec@ft map and remove the suburban housing to replace with higher density properties becsuse ive been watching too#much socialist urban planning videos again and c1t1es skyl1nes just isnt cutting the cheese rn#thats the wrong saying. fandoms censored to avoid crosstagging
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biting my desk really hard just checked the csp page and EX IS ONLY LIKE $2.50 PER MONTH? GRINS?
#i was honestly expecting a lot worse considering its freaking 200 for the one time purchase#really really tempted. i want to make animatics sooooooooo bad#i get a big bonus in a few months so maybe ill just pay for the subscription for a couple now and then buy the full later#theres SO many animatics ive really wanted to make but ive been slowed down by struggling how to figure out new programs#and before long then my own interest in the project wanes i need to be able to strike while its hot#im gonna do it i think im gonna get ex
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why does no one understand the importance of privacy any more (/nobody here)
#Like my irl friends are not totally freaked out by the whole live 365 thing#Like I HATE the idea that someone can know where you are at all times#It's so scary#And then if you voice this opinion#People are like are you trying to hide something? And the thing is I want to be able to should i need to#Like i dont want people asking why I'm going to a certain doctor or why I shop where I shop#Or like who's house I'm at#And I know it is genuine concern on the part of some people but it's so fucking scary#And then theres the whole instagram thingy#Which I only really have bc I hate being left out#and it makes it really easy to start conversation bc someone can post that they went to a movie and I can say oh I saw that one did u enjoy#And so on and so forth#But like I dont like that everyone has to have it and wants to have yours#And my brother who I detest came into my room and was like what are you trying to hide#When I turned off my phone#Like I wasnt even doing anything other than watching a youtube video abt conservative book banning#Which he would find boring. And I dont want him to know what I'm watching because I hate him and I dont want him to know what I care abt#Bc anything I care abt can be something he can bully me over#And he never fucking listens when I tell him to stop. Not sure how I'm going to get through another year at home#He makes me so miserable and then nobody does anything abt it and when someone does make a consequence hes like 'oh its bc your the fa..#..favourite child'#And he was like I know you have an Instagram account which like i was technically not supposed to have as a teen. But I'm a legal adult and#I can do what I want now#at least in that aspect#Oh and ppl excuse his behaviour bc hes a boy. Well I'm a fucking boy too and I never pulled that shit. (Ig I'm a man now. Weird to call mys#...myself that. Young man makes a little more sense)#Damn this started as a vent abt privacy but it's really abt my brother#Honest to god wish I wasnt related#Or at least that I didnt have to deal with him#And he calls me stupid sometimes bc I dont get his jokes and I respond seriously to his jestful questions and
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man idgaf about what treville and richelieu have going on (mostly nothing) (they dont like each other but they work together a lot bc of their jobs.) (i guess treville holding onto a sense of honour whilst working with the cardinal is interesting but like that's not. thats not really those two having something interesting going on). lets talk about the king and the cardinal man.
#the way the king sometimes resents the cardinal's influence but is so easily manipulated to feel lost without it.#the fact that he'll openly acknowledge the cardinal wants him to rule unfairly and play favourites. with a fond look on his face#''i will disband their whole regiment if that's what it takes to make you happy. only please don't leave me alone'' with tears in his eyes#all of which was exactly what the cardinal was going for and he just gets away with it!#the queen finds out he was trying to have her Killed and she says yeah fuck you obvi but i wont tell the king tho bc he loves you ?#i'm not saying any of this is like romantic to be clear lol. it's just very interesting#i mean i dont think it can probably be categorised really. but im definitely not calling it that#it is super interesting though the way the cardinal needs to undermine the queen and place himself closer to the king to succeed in his aim#it would be somewhat appropriate for sure to say its kind of a parent-child relationship in some ways but that's definitely not all of it#in terms of the way the king relies on him and his guidance. but again thats not all of it and he's not a child. or not actually a child.#and i could say this about any of the relationships between men on the show but of course Because they're both men that means the#Possibility of it being anything but fully platonic is not something he can acknowledge and for that reason whether it is or Not there's#still going to be a level of repression and denial that just complicates things. even though/if theres not truly anything to deny#meanwhile honestly i think the cardinal is personally being normal about it even tho he's a freak about a lot of other things#i mean idk that was my impression. i am sorta-watching through s1 again so maybe i'll develop my ideas on that#anyway#me.txt#musketeers posting
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#ay ay ay. i dont wanna do my job so bad. it makes me so unhappy also i fucked up a thing by letting someone take part of a culture when i#shouldnt have. it happened so many months ago that i fucking forgot abt it and then the person emailed me abt when we received the stain and#i thought it was someone from another project so i cc'd my boss who was like. wait. what the fuck is this? and now its like oops sorry but#like wtf am i supposed to do abt it now? she askrd me to take some when i was rushing out of someone else's lab and i was like what? sure.#whatever i dont give a fuck i feel like im dying every second i stand in this room. i didnt even think to ask to share it which is what i#should have done. oops. cant do anything abt it now other than feel abt abt causing drama between labs. ugh.#i just wanna cut all ties with my old work. theres no joy there. only pain and anger. which makes it hard to work with it but the sooner i#do. the sooner i dont have to fucking deal with it anymore. ugh. also i really need to find a therapist but my insurance changes in like 18#days so i might as well wait for the semester to start. ugh. like i can feel the pull of my bad habits trying to drag me down and i dont kno#how to stop them. like its weird. i noticed while my parents were here. they can just do things and enjoy stuff. and everytime i do#something i feel like im holding my breath the entrie time waiting for it to be over and for what? its not like i had other stuff to do#i just needed to kno when things were gonna end and i dont deal well with flexible situations. which makes it hard to do things. so its#like do i succumb to my control freak lil bubble of not doing anything and being miserable or do things outside my comfort zone and be#miserable? one of those things is way easier. plus i dont even kno anyone here so its like wtf do i do?#try to make friends with my sometimes roommate maybe. i just need to corner her and be like hey i need to establish a dialog with u so i can#tell u that if i seem like a weird hermit im not trying to b standoffish i just dont kno how to do human interaction well. can we b friends?#id like to b friends but if i dont talk now then ill get stuck not talking ever. which is whats happened with past roommates... god my 1st#roommate must have thought i was so fucking weird. ugh. point is. these bad habits must stop. and i really need to get work done so i can#never think abt that shit ever again. at least now that ive moved i can run up the side of a mountain when im frustrated#unrelated
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my irls who ive just barely gotten into the series were like "u like this angel & she doesnt even speak she just sits there" & its excusable since they dont know better but No. She Definitely Does Speak. She's Got Quite A Few Spoken Lines In Her Song & none of them are joy-bringing
#aru sekai series#all the charas have strong voices tbh to say any of them are empty blank slates is just so wrong#she means everything to me#like. the resolve it takes to die for someone uve already committed to making it out alive with. unreal#like yes she very much was fighting it as much as she saw she could but even then that whole#'only i can save you' like it really feels more like convincing herself going along with it is the right thing#it Hurts Me. Deeply.#also the songs definitely say 'you' singular as in the opposite one telling the story#so tenshi's 'save you' is singular for apoptosis'& apoptosis' 'doing it for you' is singular for tenshi#theres just no other song tied in closely enough for it to mean anyone else#the only plural is when apoptosis is freaking out like why the hell havent you guys noticed#in which she says minna rather than anta#i need to go blair witch it in corner brb
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Im going through it so hard but I'll survive I prommy *I'm facedown on the floor and burning*
#i'll live#just getting overwhelmed by everything#stress of symba behavioural issues#darkness cold and wetness from winter#shit load of unprocessed trauma and suppressed emotions#a lil worried about my fishtank because my shrimp population just crashed for some reason#amanos are fine but the neocardinia are disappearing :(#maybe its my assasin snails eating them when they molt..#Also hair algea are driving me insane and moss (?) is growing on plants and the leaves keep falling off#also big orange's daughter appears to have the same cancer that she had to be euthanised for so thats fun#other fish are fine#in other things that worry me#gonna get my blood drawn on Tuesday to exclude medical causes for my exhaustion#wednesday im gonna go to the vet again to see if they can finally solve symba's armpit irritation spots#on the 7th of January i need a cavity filled#i need to still call some government thing to ask for clarification about an aspect of my welfare#i feel shitty about not being able to draw or work on my ocs#or on lore#i really want to share my ocs and world with you guys..#i also really want to launch koc for my friends before the year ends..#its been in the works for way too long#i got a million art wips..#just ugh so much to do..#havent been able to visit my mom since ive obtained Symba either#because he will freak out the second he sees a dog and i cant predict wether a dog will get on the bus or be at the station#and also he still gets snippy with people sometimes when overwhelmed#and my mom is scared of him because he bit her once#god theres just so much going on in my head..#but i will stay safe i promise#lena whines
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