#but i havent because i cant figure out how to organise mods and its freaking me out. theres just loads of excuses stopping me | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

imflyingfish · 3 months

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I gotta be less hard on myself. Annoyingly i know that my best work comes from when i am hard on myself. But i keep stopping myself from doing things i want to due to perfectionism. Annoying.

#atm i feel like im just chasing interest after interest after interest #ive been working on my mimecraft base a lot but i have. complex feelings about the base atm #im happy with it and its paradise.#its too paradise that it makes me unsettled #which is nonsense its my place and my build #but i feel a lot of pressure to make it perfect #even though I and vee are the only ones who go there and i dont really care about the likes on my posts anymore #it still makes me feel. odd.#i love the work though i love the style and i love using it as a means to imagine a better world #atm im really enjoying just spending time on the server hanging out with vee #but i get into my own head a lot about the base #its not even just the base im talking about everything but the base is the example #i built a bit of a weird interior today i just went crazy with the terracotta and the plants and a pool of water #and i keep thinking on if it was the 'right' thing to do #and if i will be able to complete it properly to a high enough standard #it also doesnt help that ive improved over the course of the last 2 years in building #so now my house looks off and weird and theres trees that need to be taken down and paths that are over textured #but i find the process of doing it and the feeling of completion really deep and important #i dont know. i feel like im constantly in a battle of pushing myself to be better but limiting myself at the same time by having fun or sthn #i feel like i should be making youtube videos or at least prepping to #but i havent because i cant figure out how to organise mods and its freaking me out. theres just loads of excuses stopping me #i dont know.#the annoying thing is pushing myself creatively has resulted in massive benefits for me lately creatively #partly i think why im feeling odd with the base atm is because ive suddenly gone for being barely able to play an hour a night to having all #the time in the world so its created a sudden influx in development #idk. this is rambly #fish talks #i want to download a minec@ft map and remove the suburban housing to replace with higher density properties becsuse ive been watching too #much socialist urban planning videos again and c1t1es skyl1nes just isnt cutting the cheese rn #thats the wrong saying. fandoms censored to avoid crosstagging

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