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#thats the wrong saying. fandoms censored to avoid crosstagging
imflyingfish
·
3 months
Text
I gotta be less hard on myself. Annoyingly i know that my best work comes from when i am hard on myself. But i keep stopping myself from doing things i want to due to perfectionism. Annoying.
#atm i feel like im just chasing interest after interest after interest
#ive been working on my mimecraft base a lot but i have. complex feelings about the base atm
#im happy with it and its paradise.
#its too paradise that it makes me unsettled
#which is nonsense its my place and my build
#but i feel a lot of pressure to make it perfect
#even though I and vee are the only ones who go there and i dont really care about the likes on my posts anymore
#it still makes me feel. odd.
#i love the work though i love the style and i love using it as a means to imagine a better world
#atm im really enjoying just spending time on the server hanging out with vee
#but i get into my own head a lot about the base
#its not even just the base im talking about everything but the base is the example
#i built a bit of a weird interior today i just went crazy with the terracotta and the plants and a pool of water
#and i keep thinking on if it was the 'right' thing to do
#and if i will be able to complete it properly to a high enough standard
#it also doesnt help that ive improved over the course of the last 2 years in building
#so now my house looks off and weird and theres trees that need to be taken down and paths that are over textured
#but i find the process of doing it and the feeling of completion really deep and important
#i dont know. i feel like im constantly in a battle of pushing myself to be better but limiting myself at the same time by having fun or sthn
#i feel like i should be making youtube videos or at least prepping to
#but i havent because i cant figure out how to organise mods and its freaking me out. theres just loads of excuses stopping me
#i dont know.
#the annoying thing is pushing myself creatively has resulted in massive benefits for me lately creatively
#partly i think why im feeling odd with the base atm is because ive suddenly gone for being barely able to play an hour a night to having all
#the time in the world so its created a sudden influx in development
#idk. this is rambly
#fish talks
#i want to download a minec@ft map and remove the suburban housing to replace with higher density properties becsuse ive been watching too
#much socialist urban planning videos again and c1t1es skyl1nes just isnt cutting the cheese rn
#thats the wrong saying. fandoms censored to avoid crosstagging
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