#theres a lot of things that flew over my head

[moonlilyshipping]

people continue to follow this blog????

if anyone goes through the old posts of this blog, my warning is that 2015-2017 were dark times for the sapphic community

[irisintheafterglow]

do you guys ever think about streamer!sakusa because i do

cw: swearing

sakusasbigtits👑👑: wait wtf are they in the room ??? hinatashoyolover: ASHDSFKAJSDFHG ellawantsaran👑: PARTNER REVEAL violetvolley2012: mOVE YOUR FUCKNIG WEBCAM oikawamilkbox7: SHWO PARTNER SHOW FPARTNER miya_osamu: what the fuck is going on

"what the hell is a miya doing in my chat? i could've sworn you guys just finished a charity stream," he dodges, leaning back in his chair as chaotic messages urging him to show his partner flew by. "look, i don't know what you guys are talking about. there's no one in the room but me." cross-legged on his bed and wearing his jersey, you stifle a laugh into your fist just out of sight. his eyes flicker over to you for a moment and soften before he goes back to manipulating his chat.

miyarearrangemyinsides👑: YOU FUCKING LIAR sakusasbigtits👑👑: WHY ARE YOU GASLIGHTING US

"i'm serious." more messages of indignancy light up his screen. "i don't think you guys even know what gaslighting means." a smirk spreads across his face as chat explodes, taking the bait and continuing to argue with their favorite man through a screen. "thank you kuroobella7 for the five gifted-"

stop being a big baby and show us your partner, deadpans the automatic voice reading out his donations. you can't help it, that time, and the laugh that slips out is definitely picked up by kiyoomi's mic.

sakusasbigtits👑👑: WHO WAS THAT oikawamilkbox7: WE HEARD THAT OMI tinygianttwo: hi sakusa!!

"hey, shoyo. welcome back to the hellhole that is my chat," he says, continuing to ignore the outrage rising in his stream. "hop in vc one, i'm gonna see if bokuto wants to play phasmophobia." your attention returns to your laptop and you continue with typing out the rest of your assignment.

you vaguely register kiyoomi saying something about grabbing another drink, forcing an ad onscreen before creeping over to you. his hands rest on the edge of the bed as he leans forward, pressing his lips softly to yours and smiling against your mouth. "i love you a lot."

"i love you more. when are you gonna stop convincing chat that i don't exist?"

"when they earn it," he answers simply, kissing the corner of your mouth and the tip of your nose. if lovesickness were a disease, he wouldn't mind being ill. "which i think will take a very long time."

"you are not making my stream debut a sub-goal," you chuckle, tilting your neck up to kiss the moles above his eyebrow. "i will not let you."

"how else are they gonna earn it?"

"i am not letting you monetize showing my face on your stream, omi," you reiterate with a delirious smile. he continues to push, nudging his nose against yours like a needy cat.

"you're cute when in my jersey. what if i end stream right now and just lay here with you?"

"okay, lover boy," you say, gently pushing his face away. "go back to--huh?" both of your attentions shoot to your phone, where the beaming face of bokuto's contact photo illuminated your screen. you swipe down on the sudden influx of notifications and feel your heart stop.

Less Tolerable Miya👎🏐: CHECK CHAT HAHAHA THERES NO FUCKIGN WAY Better Miya🍙🏐: oi check your volume stupid Bokuhoe Kotaro🦉✨🏐: BABE YOUR BOYFRIEND ISNT MTUED Less Tolerable Miya👎🏐: wait is my name in your phone still less tolerable miya Sunshine Shoyo🧡☀️🏐: SAKUSA'S STREAM SOUND IS ON

"oh...shit," he mutters, pressing one more kiss to your forehead before running to his computer and throwing his headphones on, face bright pink and tripping over his words. his chat is a wildfire, persistent and absolutely uncontrollable. at some point, kiyoomi just gives up and leans back in his chair, looking for you to help.

you raise your eyebrows in question.

he tilts his head to beckon you over.

you appear in the frame of his webcam, wearing his jersey. kiyoomi looks at you like you are the only thing that matters in his entire world.

"alright fuckers, you happy now that you've seen 'em? good, because if we reach subgoal, i'm gonna make them play fnaf with me."

if you enjoy my writing and would like to support me, you can buy me a coffee on my ko-fi! you can also check out my full masterlist here :)

[the-anime-enthusiast]

As per request of @tired-jaz here's some dabi fluff for the touya fans 😈 This is purely fluff but here's a lil quick disclaimer ⚠️ jaz this isn't totally what you asked for but Its still fluff and got some pretty sweet stuff in it 😭(pun intended) HOPE YALL ENJOY‼️

NOT AS SWEET

AS YOU (dabi x reader)

DAY ONE ☎️

"3 months, THREE WHOLE MONTHS NAKI. WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO? I havent felt the touch of aan, MY MAN, in three whole months", you scream into the phone, not caring the damage youve dealt to your sisters eardrums.

"Y/N" she screams back.

"Yes..." you retorted sheepishly with a slight ansgt.

"Isnt he coming bacm in like what? 3 DAYS?? I hate to break it to you gurl, BUT PLEASE, calm down, I get it but he'll be there soon."

"BUT"

"NO. NO BUTS. What happened to the logical and rational you i know? The one dabi fell in love with? Youll have him all to yourself in no time. I know its hard, especially cause you haven't been able to talk to him either, but honey please. Hell be there alright. ALRIGHT?"

you sigh, "I'll calm down. You're right I guess, don't wanna embarrass myself in front of him after 3 months..." you breathe out staring at your feet face reddening at the thought of your desperate actions. "I just miss him, a lot."

"Y/n...I get it, i really do, and i hate to do this right now, but i have to go, if you need anything youll tell me right?"

"Yeah yeah you know I will", you respond rolling your eyes simultaneously.

"REMEMBER" the sudden loud tone sending you to jump up, "3 DAYS THEN HES ALL YOURS. BYE BYE!" she acreams ending the call with a kissy sound.

Your hand drops down, looking at the caller ID

"I know" you wisper to yourself.

DAY TWO 💤

Grogginess? She practically your bestfriend you think rolling over to the other aide of your bed, arm slewn over your back orher cupping the side of the pillow youve found yourself clutching for dear life to the past couple of months.

"Dabi..." you whisper, eyes squeezing shut trying to imagine his face again as you bury your face into the pillow

"please come home" is the last thing your pillow hears before you pass out on top of it wishing it was him you were on top of instead.

Nothing could quite distract you from his absence like sleeping your life away.

DAY THREE 🍰

Anxiety was eating you alive like you were the twilight saga and a book worm was having a feild day.

"Nothing has changed between us right?" you thought. "Right?" you repeat to yourself, a sickening smile creeping on your face with tears pricked in the corners of your eyes.

"NO" you yell sitting up to hang of your bed.

"I WILL NOT BE SAD. I REFUSE. ONE MORE DAY

"Y/N. YOU GOT THIS! I GOT THIS? I GOT THIS." you chant storming to your kitchen. Given the ungodly amount of sleep you got yesterday, you hadnt eaten barely anything but leftover cookies and some milk.

"OH. MY. GOD." you aggravatingly sighed out

"I'M SO DAMN HUNGRY" followed by a whine as the refridgerator swining open, and then the realization hit you, you wouldn't be surprised if dust and a moth flew out with the door.

"DAMN INGREDIENT HOUSEHOLD WHAT THE HELL" you yell falling to your knees while slamming the fridge shut, followed by a bang on the door with your fist.

Your head soon met the door as well with your begging you from 2 weeks ago to stop the decision of purely doordashing food to your front door while dabi was gone, leaving you broke as hell. Checking your bank account wasn't any better than the fridge, but in optimism you tell yourself, if theres one thing an ingredient household will get you, its crazy amazing dessert recipes made out of practically thin air.

-skip to later that night-

"Holy shit-" you breathe out

"Holy fucking shit, so. much. dessert. So many... everything?" you question scanning your kitchen surroundings, brownies, cookies, Tres Leches, cookie dough, instant jello, popsicles?

"How in the actual hell...did i make...popsicles..."

you whisper before collapsing of exhaustion.

Slowly picking up your phone to check the time, you read 2:45 a.m.

Following is a look of worry, exhaustion, and confusion as you pass out on the kitchen floor.

DAY FOUR - DABI'S COMING HOME

My keys slowy make their way into the key hole, first sturggling due to my franticness to see her. My girl.

"y/n" I whisper out getting frustrated that the key keeps getting stuck.

"Dammit!' i whisper yell as the door finnalg flys open crashing against the wall behind it.

"What the hell? Why does it smell like...HUH?"

He screeches feasting his eyes on the copious piles of desserts covering every kitchen surface.

"What the hell..." he whispers, barely taking the time to notice you crashed out on the kitchen floor.

"Y/n..." he whispers leaning down to you, a look of pity and concern stretching across his otherwise emotionless face.

"baby..." is the last thing he says before reaching behind your neck and waist to hoist you up into his arms.

A feeling of warmth overcomes your body, a feeling of comfort, one you cant quit explain while wrapped up in your Candy Land like dream, one where you of all people were a diety of dessert. Slowly coming back to consciousness you hear the words of your lover...

"baby" you feel whispered against your ear, the familar voice sending shocks through your body.

No matter the lack of sleep and energy spent on your Master Chef Desserts you shot up clinging to dabi like it was the last time.

"DABI" you screeched into his ear as he pulls you in closer.

He presses a kiss to your ear, "hey princess, missed you baby" he says pressing a second one right after the other.

The feeling practically melts you, nothing beats some sweet love from your lover, especially the physical lind.

"Dabi" you sigh

"Yes princess?"

"Kiss me again?"

"Hm?"

You grab his collar pulling his face for his eyes to look into yours.

"KISS ME" you growl locking his eyes with yours noticing the sly smirk spreading across his beautiful face.

"Alright alright, i heard you the first time" he chuckles cupping your cheek and pulling your waist flush against his stomach.

"Since you ask so nicely..." he teases bringing your face close to his.

You can't explain it, maybe its the lack of him you've experienced the past three months or his overall deamenor but its like you cant think anymore. Everythings fuzzy, your nose filled with the smell of the previously baked sweets mixed with the ash and cigarette smell on his collar. You lose complete control melting into his hands, making him work to keep your body up as his lips meet yours. You make note of the gentleness he's displaying, something not often seen, even behind closed doors. It doesn't feel like hes going to give you the night of your life, or like hes about to do whataver he wants to you, he feels like he's about to hold you until the sun comes up, bury his head in your neck, lay you on his chest kissing your head, whispering sweet nothings like

"you're so beautiful baby..."

or

"i missed you so much" followed by his nose burrowing in your hair.

'you miss me too pretty girl?"

maybe a

"Im here its alright princess..."

or maybe

"you need anything baby?"

its almost out of charcter for him, but somethings changed, the way he holds you, something happened. He holds you now like hes actaully scared to lose you. His kiss isn't filled with lust, but love, pure innocent love, one you've never felt, you think leaning more into the kiss slowly making your backs way down to the floor.

His lips press deeper into yours, never wanting to leave but nevertheless he pulls away leaning over your frozen body beneath him.

"Baby" he whispers moving your face so his eyes meet his, given you were hiding it out of embarrassment.

"Yes..." you wisper back peering up into his beautiful eyes, taking note of the difference in his stare. He holds there for awhile, staring into your eyes, searching in them like he'll find something, still holding your face lovingly.

Your left hand comes to meet his hand on your face cupping over it shooting him a small smile.

"Dabi? "

"Hm?" he hums back seeming to come back to reality.

"S-sorry" he stutters a bit, a like shade of pink running across his cheecks.

Your smile never leaves as you bring your other hand up to meet his face, pulling it down to your head to rest his forehead against yours.

"I love you" you whisper.

"Hm..." he hums with a slight chuckle sending a look of horror to your face. His laugh grows as he puts more pressure against your foreheads.

"I'm just teasing baby" he says moving his mouth to kiss your forehead as he pulls you up to sit with him, pulling his hand of your cheek to allow more balance on the way up.

"Just teasing" he repeats moving to kiss your cheek allowing another small smile to come up on your face as his hand meets your face again. He follows with small kisses peppering across your cheeks, forehead, nose, jaw line, and even some daring to your neck. All that's heard throughout your shared apartment is small giggles and the sound of his lips coming off of your skin.

"Hey princess" he says looking for some focus as he comes up to cup both your cheeks.

"Yes?"

"I love you."

Your face goes an ungodly red.

"Hm?" you question, face blank, leaving him to chuckle to himself.

"I love you baby" he repeats giving you a warm smile leaning his forhead bacm against yours.

"I..." you smile back... "I love you too dabi" you whisper allowing his lips to come back to yours for one final kiss before your mouths are otherwise occupied scarfing down the pile of treats waiting for you on the counter.

"Pretty sweet huh?" you tease bumping your hips into his.

"Not as sweet as you baby" he replies a sweet smile spreading on both your faces as you match each other's gaze.

[zhvakinnn]

Stop

Y'all need to stop harming yourself that's all

Logan fields x GN reader

Friends to lovers

Angst to fluff

Warnings: self harming, attempt suicide, harsh words

✨as always i don't know much English so if something is wrong correct me✨

"What the hell are you doing"

You look back at Logan

He looked at you with widen eyes as you were stepping at the edge of the building he only stared at me before speaking again

"do you want to kill yourself?"

The words coming out of his mouth was speechless

"why?"

At this point you can't say anything else you just turned around again and looked down

'why?' the words won't disappear, you began to question yourself aswell, why?, why do you want to jump, why do you want to kill yourself?, why... He isn't stoping you

My head and body are already ripping apart my head is telling me to stop yet my body is telling me to jump my head is full of thoughts i close my eyes for a minute till

"i wouldn't let you do that" my eyes open and looked at him

"you.. won't leave me.. right?" His voice breaks as he started to kneel down now his tears were visible

"you need to be here" that was his edge till you can hear him sobbing and sniffing

Your eyes are widen as you watch him cry from afar

You were shock when your own body is walking towards him and just stand there looking at him

You watch him cry as he kept mumbling something, you kneel down and hugged his back

"im sorry" was the only thing that came out of your mouth, why were you saying sorry for?, you didn't do anything wrong right?

"please don't leave me, im not ready for you to die yet"

'why don't you just kill yourself you little brat'

' seriously?! You think cutting your arm is gonna make me feel guilty to you?!'

' your such a worthless child! You know your cousin is way! More better than you!'

' you know when i was a child my family were poor and i work hard everyday i never got to finish school and i wasn't depressed WHILE you're here crying over some shitty tiny problems!'

That was it you remember all of the things those harsh comments that you forgot that theres still someone for you and that someone is

Him

Now that you realize why your sorry, you know now why your sorry

Because you forgot about him

'you look beautiful today'

'there now you won't feel insecure about your scars'

' hey! Did you eat today?! Or drink? C'mon my treat!'

' here let me help you don't pressure you're m'kay?'

You remembered his soft voice were now breaking

"im sorry" "please don't be sorry"

When he raised his face he quickly wipe his tears but you stopped him

"don't be insecure about how you cry" you said cupping his face now that you both have teary eyes look into each other

He raised his hand to cup your face

"please don't leave me, im always here for you no matter what, out of all the colors there are your my favorite one, out of ALL the students in school i chose you"

What was he talking about but his words

He took your hand and kissed the fresh cuts

You hiss in pain but you quickly forget it when the butterflys in the jar flew to your body

"I'll stay longer by your side than your scars"

"i love you too"

Please stop this self harm i know its hard but you can survive this mkay take care of yourself and drink lots of water and eat don't starve yourself

I need a hug

[undressmewithyoureyes]

Devour Me - Chapter 12

               “She was my mother too.”

               The words molted into your brain like lava molts against the soft Earths floor. Alessa’s words replayed over and over as you felt your world spiral. “Th-theres no way,” you say to her shaking your head. “Make it make sense.”

               Alessa looks over at you, “Its something I am still trying to figure out. Time stood still here but as they tried to ‘cleanse’ my mother of being a witch, she ended up pregnant – luckily, no one knew about it until after the fact.”

               One word escaped your lips, “How?”

               “I don’t know.” Alessa’s eyes pierced over at you, “What do you remember of your childhood, Ally?”

               You swallowed hard. Thinking back, you cant remember much of your childhood. Your earliest memory was your teenage years. You had tried hard to think back and delve deep in your mind of your life as a kid, but each time you would get a migraine and your whole body felt as if it was lit on fire – everything hurt.

               “I don’t remember.”

               “Think harder.” You could hear a bit of desperation on Alessa’s voice.

               You swallowed hard as your eyes locked with hers, then to Pyramid Head before closing your eyes and taking in a deep breath. As you exhaled the breath from your lungs, faint memories started coming to you, but it almost seemed like something you dreamt of. “Loud,” was the first thing you said. “With lots of people.”

               The memory was becoming clearer. You couldn’t see where, but the commotion was deafening. You couldn’t move, like you were being held back. “I cant move.” You could tell you were surrounded by people. Angry people that were taller than you – but you couldn’t make out any faces. “Theres yelling. Angry people.”

               “What are they wearing?” Alessa’s voice making the memory come back a little more clearer.

               Your brows furrow as you think harder, but this time the migraine is not there. “Torn clothes. Like they have been wearing them for a long time.”

               “Why cant you move?”

               “I-I don’t know. Its like someone is holding me back. Or protecting me.” The words protecting me, send a chill down your spine. “Wait.” You fought harder to get a clearer picture.

               “Witch!”

               “Burn them all!”

               “Her and her children have plagued this place!”

               You shook your head back and forth. Panic shot through you as you tried to open your eyes, but you couldn’t. “No,” you whisper out. The sea of people surrounding you parted ways and a lady dressed in red walked towards you.

               “Take her and the child,” she snarled. “Take them both down below. Find the other child and lock her down there as well,” she says as she turns her back to you. “Tomorrow, tomorrow we will be cleansed.”

               You felt another set of hands on you and your eyes flew open as you gasped for air. “They knew,” you said.

               “Who?”

               “The church. They knew about me,” you say still gasping for air.

               “No. They didn’t know about you until after you were taken out of Silent Hill,” Alessa says looking at you confused.

               “I was in a room full of people,” you start, “and that fucking red lady was there. She told them to take ‘them’ down below and grab the other child and bring her down too.”

               “Ally.” You could hear it in Alessa’s voice. You didn’t respond back. “That was me. That happened to me.”

               You take in a ragged breath, “That’s what I saw.” Alessa throws her head back. “I just want to know what the hell is going on. Why cant I remember things about…me?”

               “I told you what is going on. Our mother made a curse when she was being burned. Its going to take both you and I to break it,” Alessa pauses, “And im not breaking it. They deserve to die.”

               “What about me?! I didn’t sign up for this!” You said as you stand up. You see Pyramid Head shift out of the corner of your eye.

               “Careful Ally,” Alessa warns. “He may have feelings for you, but he is still my protector.”

               “Fuck you,” you spit as you walk towards the door.

               You hear Alessa laugh, “I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”

               Still walking you say, “I could give a fuck less what you think I should do. I need some fresh air anyway.”

               “Ally.” It was a warning, but when did you ever follow the rules. You placed your hand on the door handle and flung the door open, stomping your way down the hallway trying to find the closest exit out of this disgusting Hospital. You needed space to process all this. You need air to cleanse your lungs rather the dusty molded walls of the Hospital.

               Halfway down the corridor you were walking, the sound of screeching perked your ears. You stop and turn halfway to see Pyramid Heading taking up most of the space around him. “Im not escaping!” You shout, “I just need some damn air!”

               You go to turn back to keep walking, but his footsteps pick up and sound heavier. The hair on the back of your neck stood up knowing that the change in his walking indicated just how pissed off he was. A loud bang made you jump as the walls around you shook. He had dropped his sword and was coming at you in a rage of fury.

               Fear went through you and you started walking faster. You dared not to run, knowing that would for sure set him off and you knew without a shadow of a doubt that he could outrun you – regardless how heavy his helm was.

               You come up on a doorway to your right. The room is open with a broken window and you dart inside – not bothering to shut the door. It wouldn’t do any good anyway. You sprint towards the window and poke your head out. The fog is still just as thick and you cant tell which floor of the Hospital you are on, but breathing in outside air again, eased you.

               Pyramid Head stormed inside the room and before you could protest or defend yourself, he grabbed you by the back of your neck and threw you onto the bed the sat against the wall. “I just needed some air!” The grunt that came from him told you he didn’t care.

               “Pyramid Hea- “. You couldn’t even get his name out before his hand enclosed around your throat. The grunts coming from him were different than they normally were. They were deeper. Raspier.

               Primal.

               His other hand grabs your clothes and rips them off you. Ripped fabric leaving red marks across your skin. His thick fingers roughly enter your tight pussy without any warning – making you arch your back and your pink walls flutter. It doesn’t take long as he pumps his fingers in and out of you for his fingers to become coated in your slick arousal.

               He knows your body. He knows cutting off your air supply will make you bend to his will any way that he wants you. Your eyes start rolling in the back of your head as his fingers roughly devour you. Squelching noises from your wet pussy fill your ears and it makes him pump into you harder. Faster. You feel your walls contract and the sudden urge to pee overwhelms you, but you welcome it.

               Pyramid Head lets go of your throat and you take in the deepest breath you can and scream immediately as the orgasm rips through you. You hear how wet hes made you and can feel yourself squirt all over his hand – making it run down your ass and onto the bed, but he doesn’t stop. He keeps fucking you hard with his fingers.

               Your hands reach down and grab his wrist, a silent plea to stop and that you cant take anymore. He removes your hands from him with his other hand and continues to pump his thick fingers into your drenched pussy.

               “Please!” you moan out, “Please! I cant take anymore.”

               He grunts louder and you feel another wave of having to pee and the more you fight it, the faster it comes. You squirt all over Pyramid Heads hand again, but in the midst of soaking his hand again, he quickly pulls out his fingers and shoves his thick cock into you. Making your screams go silent. It was too much pleasure.

               Just like his fingers, he fucked you hard and rough. He finally let go of your wrists and you immediately wrapped them around his neck, bringing him closer to you. His grunts coming from his helm filled your ears and made your wet pussy flutter around his dick. With each flutter, his thrust became harder – to the point your pelvis was hurting. But it was painful pleasure. Something you would never complain about.

               “Don’t stop,” you breath out a moan, “I need it. I need you.”

               Those words sent him over the edge as he buries his cock deep in your pussy and grunts hard. You feel his warm cum fill you and your walls clench around him – milk out every last drop of cum he gives you. He stays inside you for a few minutes as your eyes grow heavier. You thought you needed space, but this…this is what you truly needed.

               Pyramid Head pulls out of you and watches as your eyes close and your breathing evens out. He loved how feisty you were, but this was his favorite version of you. At peace and all because of him. He fixed the apron around his waist and then scooped you up – your head resting against his shoulder.

               “She suits you.” Pyramid Head looked towards Alessa. “No I wasn’t standing here watching you,” she says with a grin. “Take her back to your place and you both get some rest. Weve got planning to do.”

[fighting-these-demons]

Silly self indulgent mind wanderin thing - The Devil Went Down to Georgia

It's cool if this one gets no notes I get it isn't to most people's tastes. ✌ No worries on it.

I'm just writing it down in case I want to look back at it and to share a couple songs. -Songs are in the readmore with the Blorbo Brainrot.

Theres a better longer post going over it a bit more but basically the Devil plays a lot of perfect and complicated strings but it all sounds like garbage/wracket, whereas Johnny plays technically perfect/beautifully and with flair some established songs.

Charlie Daniels also said there was an intent of Johnny putting the light of God into his playing that he wished later he'd actually incorporated into the lyrics. Ymmv on that bit.

Song for reference w/lyrics below - I get most of my followers have heard it before, but in case anyone else was curious that hasn't. I couldn't find any versions with subtitles so I figured I'd put them in the post.

The Devil went down to Georgia. He was lookin' for a soul to steal. He was in a bind 'cause he was way behind and he was willing to make a deal When he came across this young man sawin' on a fiddle and playin' it hot. The Devil jumped upon a hickory stump and said, "Boy, let me tell you what."

"I guess you didn't know it, but I'm a fiddle player, too. And if you'd care to take a dare, well I'll make a bet with you. Now you play a pretty good fiddle, boy, but give the Devil his due. I'll bet a fiddle of gold against your soul 'cause I think I'm better than you."

The boy said, "My name's Johnny, and it might be a sin, But I'll take your bet; you're gonna regret 'cause I'm the best there's ever been."

Johnny, rosin up your bow and play your fiddle hard. 'Cause Hell's broke loose in Georgia and the Devil deals the cards. And if you win you get this shiny fiddle made of gold, But if you lose the Devil gets your soul.

The Devil opened up his case and he said, "I'll start this show." And fire flew from his fingertips as he rosined up his bow. And he pulled the bow across the strings and it made an evil hiss. And a band of demons joined in and it sounded something like this.

When the Devil finished, Johnny said, "Well, you're pretty good, old son, But sit down in that chair right there, let me show you how it's done."

"Fire on the Mountain". Run, boys, run! The Devil's in the house of the rising sun; Chicken in the bread pan picking out dough. Granny, does your dog bite? No, child, no.

The Devil bowed his head because he knew that he'd been beat. And he laid that golden fiddle on the ground at Johnny's feet. Johnny said, "Devil, just come on back, if you ever wanna try again, I done told you once, you son of a bitch, I'm the best that's ever been." And he played:

"Fire on the Mountain". Run, boys, run! Devil's in the house of the rising sun; The chicken in the bread pan picking out dough. Granny, will your dog bite? No, child, no.

(Words in italics / slanted are the names of old fiddle tunes)

--------------------------------------------------------

First and most obviously it would be a funny bit as like a one-shot or something to have the Devil G*nd*m Itself achieve consciousness or something and challenge Dom*n. What if W*ng and Ul*be and Mik*mura and M*ster and Mich*lo are the band? Lol. Anyway.

Alteenatively:

What if Chib*dee decided to play some American Classics for Dom*n while rocketing through dangerous roads at Top Speed? This would be a good one for the playlist.

I've been listening to some songs by Appal*chian An*rchy for fun while driving fast (not illegal fast but probably not prudent fast) out here and they have a vibe that goes well with that too.

Now would Chib*dee actually like Bluegrass? Or Bluegrass/Metal Hybrid songs? Probably not. But he might be showing some music to Dom*n or something idk.

Half of this was an excuse to share the songs so. 🎉

Also the devil went down to georgia is so Yus*ke coded. I know he doesn't win right off the bat but he's really the best there's ever been and the attitude fits him when he's cocky.

[moonlighter]

STORY TIME

When I was about 14 I started baby sitting. Specially one night im doing date night sitting for my neighbors. Their daughter was 7 at the time, we'll call her Susie. We had been playing all night, had dinner, built a pillow fort, ect. It got to be around midnight, we had turned on a movie and sat on the couch, Susie had fallen asleep next to me and I was reading a book.

Everything was normal, but I heard a weird noise in the air duct in the ceiling that lead into the living room. It didnt concern me too much because we we're out in the country, and anyone familiar with rural American houses will tell you they make lots of weird noises at night, you learn to tune it out. After a few times of a strange noise that I didnt pay much mind to, it changed to a loud BANG! Then another, and another. This quickly woke Susie, she shot up and looked at me saying there had to be something in the vent.

I assured her that sometimes things will happen with systems like the air conditioning in houses that will cause noises, and that there was nothing in the vent. Mid sentence as I was explaining a bat flew out of the vent, into the living room and directly over our heads into the large picture window behind us. Susie screamed and I did my best to stifle mine.

So here I am, barley a teenager, alone with a child Im responsible for in the middle of the night and theres a bat in the house freaking the absolute fuck out, bouncing off the walls. Oh and they had two large dogs now also Freaking. The. Fuck. Out.

I jumped up from the couch and ran to the broom in the pantry. My plan? Open the back door and try to shoo it out. Well then I realize I cant just leave it open cause the 2 dogs and cat will make a run for it too. I try to usher the animals into Susies bedroom, but they're loosing their shit and not taking their eyes off the strange bird thats invaded their home. I also tried to get Susie out of the room but she adamantly refused. After what spent like an hour trying to herd a husky and lab mix I finally get them into the other room. All while Susie is loosing her shit. The bat has not calmed or slowed down at all.

The fucker in ducking and weeveing between us, at one point flies under the fucking couch. I get the door open, Im chasing this bat around the room trying to direct it towrds the door but it countinues to do the opposite of what I want it too.

I wish this story ended with me being a hero and getting the bat out. But no. I was 14 so when I failed for at least 25 minutes of an intense bat chase, I called my mom. At first she thought I was joking, but quickly realized I was in fact dead serious. She told me shed come pick me and Susie up. I then called Susies dad, who was currently shit face drunk at a local bar where the band they had went to see was playing. If theres any phone call I could go back and record, that would be the one. I can't even articulate to you now the pure chaoic energy it was as I, freaking out, try to explain to a deeply inebriated man there is a bat attacking me in his living room. Eventually his, thankfully sober, wife took the phone and she was able to comprehend the conversation.

I wasnt able to be there for it, but Susies parents got home around 2am and managed to get the bat out before coming over to my home to pick up Susie. I baby sat for a few years after that, and have been a nanny for even more. And there has yet to be a more bizzare situation Ive had to handle on the job.

So yeah.... I'll take the snake next time.

Here's a tough one:

You have to remove an animal from a room. Your equipment is a long stick, a bucket and a hoodie.

[pwblogarchive]

October 2004

October 2, 2004

“I Wrote The Word “Regret” On My Hand To Remember To Call You”

Its a fixedcat fight. And I’m going down fast, but I’m winking. Faking it. Tbs tour in chicago. You remeber 3 years ago when us and tbs first played chicago. Yeah to like 20 kids. So thank you for tonight. We are having so much fun. We have so many new songs.

Do you ever see someone just sitting alone and feel so bad. Just low. Like you just know they aren’t connected to anyone? Maybe that’s just me. I want this record to make those people feel okay, cause we all get there sometimes… Go read hey chris’s zine. Its pretty good.

Don’t roll your eyes at me I only want to write a song to suit your every mood.

P

October 4, 2004

“Its Not Gossip If Its The Truth”

Day off in omaha. Got some new tricks for you. Including: a green slytherin tie, members only jacket, and napoleon dynamite on dvd (youknowyouwantityouknowyouwantit). My hair is new black on blonde I don’t know what to think of it just yet. Me and dirty have been making funny videos that I hope you get to see soon. I don’t know why I read the internet- aaron from matchbook told me about our kickball game being written about on absolutepunk (jason tate is my homeboy- however it wasn’t teammatchbook that won it- it was team dirty consisting of: dirty, me, andy hurley, judas mbr, fred tbs, and mark tbs- we smoked the competition… So let the internet know. If you wanna play some kickball come find us. We leave for l.a. To record our record in november- I’m excited. We have these shows coming up on the east coast in december please get your tickets early, they will sell out.

I’ve got sunsets in my veins like you don’t even know.

P

October 6, 2004

“I’m A Headache Kid With Targets For Eyes”

Denver. singing one mile up. Had the best time till joe hit me in the head with his guitar. Yes again. It knocked me out. I apologize. We finished the set and we hope everyone still had a good time. I can’t sleep. I need your heart beat. I’ve been working on my other book, I can’t wait to see the west coast again. Then for florida we got great halloween costumes for you.

You could have taken the place of oxygen for me.

Peterpumpkin eater

October 7, 2004

“This Is A Love Song In My Own Fucked Up Way”

somewhere along the line i stopped believing in this. i stopped trying to match our breathing when we fell asleep. i hear about the way you brag about how all the songs are about you. only someone like you could ever be proud of that.

October 7, 2004

“Lets Walk This Romance Until Its Bitter End”

flew into seattle at 6:45 am today. eyes stuck shut with sleep in them. our entire band and crew was pulled aside and searched. we can’t tune guitars, theres no way we could bomb anything. i hate flying. i find myself assessing my life every time we hit a bump- if someone’s keeping score then i am fucked. got to play with a ton of great bands today. hung with my chemical romance a bunch- me and mikey, their bassist, have a gang called “the sweet little dudes”. we’re gonna make a secret handshake. trust me, you’re jealous. don’t be suprised if you see us on tour together in the future. the lost prophets had a party tonight, where they shot their new video. i did lots of monster faces for the camera, maybe you will see it. got another excerpt from my other book (not the boy with the thorn in his side) over at: www.fueledbyramen.com/journal -

sorry for all the complaining. it just comes so easy to me.

p

October 8, 2004

"atlanta to san jose"

The first thing I ever knew about her was a lie. Her lips curl when she’s talking about the “Q”. her middle name is “Q” she says.

but it’s not. She’s regular. She’s normal just like me. But Her lips still curl when she is hoping she isn’t caught.

Except she always is.

She reminds me of the anecdote about the lab rat who chose the intense pleasure button over the food button. He probably starved to death. 

But I’m sure he’s reliving the glory days up in rat heaven. 

I call her up to tell her to build me a model scale version of San Francisco because I have a great idea for a disaster.

She must be on the internet because the phone just keeps ringing. Right now I want to shoot every single fucking employee at Earthlink.

What do overweight Ethiopians, free money, the tooth fairy- and Q as a middle name have in common?

Liar.

I hate how I can’t stop thinking about the liar.

Freud says love is the sublimation of sexual impulses.

I say we are all lab rats. And consider this a failed experiment.

He says we sublimate our sexual desires to make them palatable to society.

This is what love is.

I say this must be a clinical trial.

And I am the control.

She is the “Stockholm Effect”- you know back in the seventies when victims fell in love with their kidnappers.

Yeah. She’s mostly like that.

She is the middle parts of Great Expectations. You know right before things go really wrong for Pip (and This wouldn’t be my story if I weren’t Pip).

God, I love victim culture.

I love Jeffrey Dahmer being a victim of society.

I love Patty Hearst. I love the “Stockholm Effect”.

The great victims of our culture. Aren’t we all?

Sexuality was first examined scientifically in the 19th century. Before that religion fielded all questions.

That didn’t work so well.

Love was not examined scientifically until the late 20th century.

Erich Fromm suggested that infatuation was a plan by Mother Nature to promote the survival of the species. See with out infatuation cave men would never have overcome the fear of interacting and eventually having sex with other clans. Thus ensuring the survival of the species.

This is what is commonly considered a breakthrough. Freud is spinning in his grave.

Our extinction is a Hallmark card away.

He later suggests that in order to love someone else one must love themselves. A classic “needs before other needs” argument.

Unfortunately, no one really loves themselves. And if they do, they need to get to know themselves better. Unfortunately, no one is really happy. So, let’s be unhappy together.

I call her up to tell her to build a mini version of San Jose for me to devastate.

Her roommate tells me she is on the phone long-distance with her aunt. 

I want to kill every member of her extended family.

Phenylethylamine (PEA), the chemical responsible for the swooning and feelings of adoration, is structurally similar to cocaine. Most people choose cocaine over love when given the chance. 

I wouldn’t say that’s a bad choice. 

The endorphins released during infatuation are similar to heroin; only they don’t make you skinny and pale. Oxytocin, “the cuddling hormone” most often found in new mothers and newlyweds, are like ecstasy- every touch feels a bit tinglier. 

Love exists in a bottle. In a syringe. I want mine diluted with water.

Most people would choose gambling over love when given the chance. We are the rat.

Most people choose pornography over love when given the chance. We are the cave-man.

Hallmark cards and boxes of Fanny-May chocolates will save humanity.

It’s all in the marketing. Kellogg and the original Graham Cracker originally marketed their products as a way to stifle teenage masturbation

I call her up to go over the blue prints for a miniature Atlanta because I crave catastrophe.

Her answering machine picks up. Right now I hate her voice.

It reminds me of how much I think about her.

She is the fraud. The faker. I can’t stop thinking about her.

I miss her lips curling with those lies.

I miss her body- See, she has a body that will go to the pornstar retirement home in her golden years- or prostitute heaven. 

to my favorite liar: you were always/never just a line in a song.

- petey

October 9, 2004

Release The Brats

Canada was amazing. Vancouver. Kissing weather but no kissing was done. If you’re coming out to any shows anytime soon I am in need of this one kind of shampoo its called purple shampoo or its in a purple bottle- it washes the color out of blonde hair- anyway the black is sneaking into the blonde and I need some. You can get it at beauty supply places. Ill hook you up with some merch or clan gear… Here’s the hitch I only need one bottle…

I’ve been calling you late at night in my mind. My bed misses me and you.

Petey

President of the brats.

Sweet lil dudes gang

October 10, 2004

“Status Report: I Am Missing You To Death”

so the update. i got the shampoo so ignore the earlier post, though thank you for even caring at all. im in portland.

i used to have headaches.

then i met you. now im onto

something new.

October 11, 2004

“143”

I could tell she was searching for something. Something punishing. Something unforgivable.

“I hope your plane crashes.”

Somewhere deep down so did i.

she always had this look of awe on her face when i looked at her (i should have told her, i don’t do “awe” but i will settle for “sympathy”). we all settle- sometimes you want chocolate and all they have is vanilla- sometimes you want romance, and instead you got me. im the sick feeling in your stomach the next morning when you remember the night before. i am the trash on the floor after the last dance.

i can only sleep on tylenol pms lately and they cant touch these headaches.

i swear to god i would give this all up if you asked.

the way i’d pretend that i could see you and not have my hands all over you if you would pretend i didn’t know everything.

the way i wrote every song about you, because of you, for you. but you were still always the first person i played them for.

how i cant pull the trigger.

im all the parts of a bullet but the powder.

if you were smart you’d skip this part.

you’d just stop reading.

i know this jumps around everywhere and doesn’t make much sense. i didn’t write this one. my moods did.

somewhere along the way. you decided i was settling.

but i never gave up on anything as pretty as you.

everytime the plane bumps, i think of you.

we cant stand being this close to eachother, even inside of IM windows.

and you said “im turning my phone off, ive had enough of this conversation for the night”.

and i think maybe that theres still a chance.

its like roulette- if the phones on then you still love me, theres still a chance. if it’s off- then i was wrong.

its like roulette, and im putting all my chips on black.

(your phone is off).

i never stood a chance. the house always wins.

imagine me at my worst- and i am just past that.

the sign on the road says “welcome to rock bottom”.

i own all the real estate.

this is us both signing off.

October 15, 2004

“Songs Don’t Settle Scores So How About Me And All My Friends Vs. You And All Of Yours”

If you’ve seen me around lately, I’m not sad or in a bad mood. I’m sick. It gets me really quiet and weird. I apologize. The west coast is so much fun. My mom is the cutest. She thinks someone broke into our house to steal new fall out boy demos, hehe, pretty good. Just on this side of crazy. I love my mom. This journal entry is all over the place. So I posted some pics of the new hair- you gotta look around and you’ll find them… Its not too hard. Got some good news for you soon.

P

October 15, 2004

12:08 am.

fuck your friends page, cause i said so

October 19, 2004

“Jason Tate Doesn’t Ever Call Me Back”

Vegas. The luck only goes one way. Piece of advice. Don’t bet all your merch money on red. Don’t dream of anyone except me. Were half way there. We’ve got even newer songs, some new merch, and some new ways of throwing it all away.

Jared tell jason to call me.

Peter

October 21, 2004

“If Its Any Consolation”

Every song on our next record will be about killing the head cheerleader.

October 24, 2004

“Cowboys And Girls.”

There’s something intensely foreign but endearing about texas. Put the love on hold. We move slow.

Were sitting out dances on the wall of club after the show. You said “I’m faded, but you should think this over cause it could take all night”. But I’m pretty sure you were just faded. My bunk feels like a coffin tonight. The airs humid here, hard to breathe- it makes every pull worth it. You’re lighting cigarettes off of eachother. You say it calms your nerves, but it doesn’t show.

Texas is the reason: apple soda, frozen poptarts, holister kids: ashley, jamie, renee, my dad, long letters vs. Short emails, laguna beach, zombie make up, dirty, cranberry and vodka minus the vodka.

Oh yeah, I guess some people brought me cigarettes to the show. I don’t smoke. That’s joe who posted that. Also, don’t feel like you have to bring anything.

Take this as it is. Spit: this is the curtain call on desperation. So come out and take a bow. Depression is so 90s. Hit it or quit it. There’s a world out there and I’m almost ready to feel alive in it. This is me telling you no one will ever feel like that again.

Lateralligator.

Peterpan

October 26, 2004

“Everywhere I Go I Keep Her Picture In My Wallet”

Sometimes you take chances. You take and and take. And then you take when you should have folded. Read this as: I’m sorry. Please forgive me. And know its true. No love is unconditional.

See you soon.

….fellas like me only spit lines like we’ve got somthing to prove. And all the boys want to dance with girls like you…..

October 27, 2004

“Where America Goes To Die”

Florida: we’re gonna have a new limited shirt just for you, beginning at the st. Pete show.

Also, if anyone wants to carve pumpkins. Come to the show early and ask for me or our tour manager dan. Here’s the catch. You have to supply the pumpkins, the knives and the spoons.

Peter

October 28, 2004

You know the funny thing is I already know how its gonna turn out. 

Get the book: www.clandestineindustries.com  

- petey

October 30, 2004

“My Wrists Are Black And Blue Cause I Don’t Have The Balls”

Fuck. I wish I could scream this into the screen. I don’t feel too eloquent right now.

Icalled you to save me. Voicemails don’t mean shit these days.

Its not worth the wishes on clocks and eyelashes anymore.

[bmpmp3]

new favourite genre: media from other countries where one specific middle entry or adaptation was localized in english but with like no context about the rest of the franchise (bonus points if its heavily reliant on prior knowledge of pervious entries)

can’t stop thinking about what it would have been like in 2009 if you were a person who knew nothing about the kill the past series or even suda51 stuff in general and you just like. picked up flower sun and rain from your local gamestop on like. a whim. can you imagine

[yioh]

in the drama version, did wwx mention that his puppets were not meant to kill anyone during nightless city? like didn't people die ? Sorry im dumb dkxncncndb

[venom-system]

i very recently came to the conclusion that I may have DID and at least two more alters, out of wich i'm only "getting to know" one.

the problem is everyone's experience with DID here on tumblr seems to be the same, and it confuses me. not that their experiences aren't valid.

speaking hypotetically since I don't want to assume anything until I get a clear diagnosis, if I were to have DID i'd have at least two more alters. for now, ive only been semi-conscious about potentially switching at least once, and as I did, i realized it wasn't the first time. when it happened, I barely had control over myself and what I was doing, and when I snapped out of it my mood changed drastically. as I said, not the first time.

it's all extremely blurry right now, i can't actually interact in any way with this possible alter, and they don't seem to have a sense of self/identity, at least for now. i briefly refer to them as 2, and have associated some traits to them that I've been noticing. so when others talk about how their alters all have names and distinct personalities and feel like actual people, it makes me slightly lose hope that this might not be the right hypotetical diagnosis.

yet I have almost every other symptom of DID, the most prominent one being memory loss, and I do have to say I endured quite a lot of emotional trauma the past 18 years. not to mention that since my thinking is mostly visual, it's hard not to notice when it seems like theres another voice in my head.

so, i'd love to hear your opinion. do you think there may be a possibility i have DID? or am I just overthinking it too much?

Hey,

sorry that it took me so long to respond but I have to focus in 100% when messages are long, I don't want to miss any part of it.

I don't know if you heard about OSDD-1A

You have amnesia like in DID system but your alters are.. you.

They have their own memories, they have their own hobbies, age, style, gender but they represent one person.

For example you but 12 years old you.

Talking about alters- to diagnose DID or OSDD you need just one alter = you + someone.

When switch in DID system takes a place you can't remember what happend, because ''someone'' else takes control of your body.

In OSDD-1B system you can remember when it happend, it can be blurry sometimes but you don't have amnesia.

You don't have to be a system to have some kind of dissociative disorder. That's why you can feel like someone else or have a feeling that you can't control your body. Dissociation + personality disorder= ''idk if it's still me or maybe someone else''. As you probably know you can loss your time or have a problem with your memory because of dissociation as well.

Another thing is- don't take everything on tumblr serious.

The truth is- every system is different and people like to misinterpret everything.

Some systems can't talk with eatch other , some of them can but after therapy process.

Switch is not like a super power or something, it doesn't work like this.

Sometimes you can say when it is happening but usually, expectly when you are ''new'' system you won't even know about it. That's why sometimes people are diagnose with DID when they are 60+.

Switch in OSDD-1B (usually, no, you are not alone) doesn't look like- I was green and now im red- it's more like... I'm yellow (if it makes sense for you).

You don't really feel like you are someone else ''now'' because you will always be you. You can see a difference in your actions or you can wonder why you did something even if you can't imagine to do it right now but that's all. Zero magic, zero fireworks.

Your body is not like a robot (still writing about OSDD-1B system)= someone else takes control while you sit and watch. There is no wall you stand behind. It's more like you are in the balloon, you never know which way the wind will blow and what your reaction will be. Sometimes the balloon bursts and you are here again wondering why you even flew when you are afraid of it...

(sorry for so much metaphor, but it's hard to explain otherwise)

Plus you don't have to have names and backstories to be 100% valid system.

I think that most of the people on tumblr experience DID/OSDD the same way because rest of them just remain silent.

Alters comunicate in their own way- they don't have to talk to you. Sometimes they can show you something, sometimes it's just a thought in your head but you can feel it doesn't belong to you.

Sorry that it took me so long to respond- once again.

If you have any questions I'm here for you.

I hope it helped you.

Thank you for your question

- Karina

[tedwithhairclips]

I'll Stop The World and Melt With You

yeahh bnt fic remember these🤩☝🏼 i havent done one in a while so cut me some slack

Summary: Its valentines day and ted is yearning. that's it thats the whole thing

It was the day of the Valentine's dance at San Dimas High School, and Bill still had yet to find a date. Every babe he asked would either laugh or say a sarcastic variation of "Yes, totally!!". He sat on the side of his bed, holding a card that he offered to every girl he could think of at his school. It was a light pink with a small paper heart on it. It wasnt much but it was basically the best he could have done in such little time. But it was sort of, well, sucky. Bill had been talking about the dance for weeks with Ted, Missy, and the princesses. He would have taken Joanna but she wasn't enrolled in school. Bill stared down at his small card and rubbed his nose. He had started crying. Not much of sob but more of a pitiful tear up. He wiped his eyes quickly when he heard his door crack open. It was Ted. "Hey dude." Ted made his way around the crowded room and crawled up onto Bill's bed right next to him. Bill turned his head to the left, trying not to make Ted see him crying, mostly because he'd ask why and saying that you were crying over no one taking your valentine is a pretty dumb reason. "Missy told me that the chicks didn't take your invite." Ted said. Bill sighed and fell onto his back. "Dammit." he groaned into his hands. "I mean, it's not that bad. You don't need a date at the dance, man." Ted turned around. "Yeah but thats the thing, my most favorable colleague, is that if we show up without any date, we're gonna be even bigger dweebs than the computer kids." Ted cocked his head and thought to himself. "Well, what if we-" he paused. He clearly hadn't thought his sentence through yet. But Bill liked that. He thought it was humorous. He found a lot of things weird about Ted, but not weirdo weird, like funny weird. The kind of weird that made Bill laugh, and when Ted realized it himself he laughed along. "What if we went together instead?" Ted asked. Bill froze. He lifted his head and grabbed his Valentines card a bit harder. "Ted. If we go together, we'd look like," Bill stopped. He didn't want to say it but he knew exactly what he was thinking and he knew Ted did too. "Oh. Yeah." Ted looked down at Bill's floor. "I still made you this though." He handed Bill a small chocolate box in the shape of a heart with a small card taped to it. Bill took it and opened the card. Bill finished reading it and looked over at his friend. Silence filled the space "You can say no if you want to Bill, it was pretty strange anyways, i wasn't thinking all that much when making it so y'know you could probably just-" "Ted." They both looked at each other. Ted's card had asked Bill to be his Valentine. He was hoping that Bill would see it as a gesture of kindess since Bill had been rejected but after what he had said earlier he was sure Bill saw right through him. "Are you weirded out, dude?" Ted waited for Bill's answer. "Well.. I mean its not like a couples Valentine right?" he asked. Ted hesitated. "Uh- yeah. Yeah we'd just go as friends." "Excellent!" Bill shot up from his bed and ran into his bathroom. "I'll get ready. I myself have created a bodacious suit for our love-themed dance." the bathroom door closed, and Ted got up to get ready at his house. He passed Missy on his way out the door. She peered at him and smiled. "You really like him don't you?" Ted blinked, thinking about what she said. "I mean, I guess so." he said. Missy raised her eyebrows and Ted shook his head and chuckled. "Theres only one reason people give each other Valentines cards, Ted." Missy continued, "Get home safe." Ted was looking at his outfit in the mirror, hoping to honest god it would look okay. He had already worn this suit before. It was black with the pants cut into shorts. There was a knock on his front door. Ted practically flew down the stairs to answer it. The door swung open and sure enough Bill was there. He was wearing the same thing as Ted, except the words Wyld Stallyns had been sewn into the back. "Woah!! You look amazing dude!" Ted smiled as he ran onto his front porch.

They both did air guitars before entering Missy's car to be driven to the dance. The dance had started and the two sat on the bleachers of the gym while almost the entirety of the teens there were dancing or talking. Ted was drinking some punch and Bill was tapping his hands to the music playing. It was playing I Melt With You by Modern English, although it was hard to hear past the clutter of people. Ted glanced over at Bill, and noticed that his chocolates were in his suit pocket. "Have you eaten the delicacies yet, Bill?" Bill seemed to have woken up from whatever zone he had been in. "Oh, uh, no not yet." "Can i have some then?" Bill nodded and took out the chocolates. The card was gone, but Ted thought it may have fell out when Bill put it in his pocket. Ted took a piece, Bill took a piece, and they both sat still. "Bill?" "Yes Ted my friend?" "Yes or no." The boys eyes were both on each other, neither moving an inch. "To?" Bill said obliviously. "My card. Do you want to be my Valentine." "I thought i said yes earlier." "No, i mean as in, like, not a friend." "Like a.. Like a girlfriend?" Ted laughed and slid closer to Bill. "Like a boyfriend." Ted grabbed Bill's chin and pulled his lips into his. Bill had flinched at first until he got more comfortable and started to kiss back. Bill had grabbed Ted's waist and pulled him in more. They were both very aware that people could be watching them but they didn't care. They seperated for air, both giggling at the fact that they were two dudes who just kissed each other. "Queer." Bill straightened his belt. "Man lover." Ted teased. "You love me and i'm a man, therefore you're the man lover." Bill pointed at Ted before the two fell into each other. The whole gym stared in shock. The card Ted had given Bill was thumbtacked to his bedpost, with a smiley face drawn on it. Wanna be my Valentine this year? Yes

[thesunicarusfellfor]

Small Actions (Create Big Ripples) CC!Plat!Ranboo x GN!Reader

I've been thinking lately about this little drabble and it makes me a bit upset? Like.. I'm in this position high key but theres nothing I can do about it...

(R/R/n) stands for Ranboo's real name. Also if you're really tall.... No you're not. Shhhh. For plot purposes

You stayed away from social media as much as possible. Now, don't get me wrong, you used to love watching Youtubers play their games and happily interact with their fans.. But growing up, you never seemed to have enough money to donate when they streamed, or go to events where they were.

You had always wanted to tell them how much they've helped you through life, or shaped your personality.. Or saved you. But... They get told that every day by over hundreds of people.. So there would be no real sentiment behind it..

You'd probably just get a simple, "Aw. Happy I could help." Before turning back to their game without blinking twice.

So, you just watched silently. It hurt, you know? Wanting to thank them, or send them something to show your appreciation.. But you never seemed to be able to send it, with the thought that 'it won't really matter to them after five minutes.. You'll just be brushed over. It's pointless.'

Eventually it hurt too much to keep watching the content creators that raised you, so you just stopped and went on with your life.

It was hard, but at least you didn't have to deal with the fact that you would never be able to thank the people you watched for making your life that much better.

As time went on, while you still heard about the creators, it was just... less. Now people were non stop blabbering about these people from something called the DreamSMP?

Your sister was obsessed with it to say the least, and you always heard her mumbling about strange people like Technoblade? Or Sapnap? And apparently some people had children with inanimate objects?! Like a Samsung Fridge and a salmon?! Yeah you didn't even bother trying to understand what she was rambling about most of the times. It just spun your head in circles.

"Okay, I gotta take my mutt to the vet," Your sister and closest friend, (S/n), tilted her head towards the backseat to her dog as you sat in the passenger seat. "You think you'll be good to do the shopping for two or so hours? I'll call when I'm finished, and plus I know how you can get distracted with looking at some things."

"Yeah, I think I'll be good." You nodded slightly, going over the list in your hand of things to get for your classes, food and just some clothing for the changing seasons.

(S/n) pulled into the parking lot and looked you over briefly, "You forgot your mask didn't you?" She watched as your hands flew up to your face to feel for the fabric, but you didn't find it so you fished through the pockets of your sweater before smiling nervously at the driver. "Uuugggggggghhhh. Of course. Okay, I got a new one from the merch store that you can use, but do not damage it! I spent a whole $30 on it!"

Scoffing as you rolled your eyes, you snagged the half white and half black mask away from her, "You and your merch. Honestly, (S/n), your obsession scares me. But anyway, thanks. I won't get it damaged, I swear." You pulled the mask onto your face after giving her a smile and walked into the store as she drove off.

Sighing slightly, you walked in, sanitized your hands, and set off on your journey to find the things you needed. Surprisingly, today seemed to be a good day as you miraculously pulled the card that didn't have the busted wheel!

Humming a soft tune to yourself, you paced up and down aisles in search of (S/n)'s favourite coffee. Pausing for a moment as you scanned the shelves, you finally spotted it and made a noise of anger as you realized it was on the very top shelf. "Oh, I hate it here..." You mumbled, a phrase you had picked up from your sister who was really big on trends like that.

Grumbling to yourself, you stood on the tips of your toes, jumped up and down, even climbed the shelves a small bit, but it just seemed to brush by your fingertips every time. Apparently it had been long enough to the point where someone had wandered into the aisle as well.

"Hey... Uh.. Nice mask? You need help?" A male voice asked very hesitantly making your head turn towards him. He was t a l l and literally could tower over you if you got close enough. He had fluffy dirty blonde hair possibly? It looked a little damp so you couldn't really tell. Rain had been in the weather report, but guess it couldn't hold off long enough. Oddly enough, he was wearing dark sunglasses and the exact same mask as you?

'Maybe he's a fan of one of (S/n)'s fandoms?' You stepped back with a sheepish smile and a blush. "Oh! Yes please! Uhm.. Also, could you tell me about what these masks represent? This is my sister's... And I kinda want to make sure I'm not looking like I'm part of some gang or something."

The tall boy reached up for the coffee before pausing midway through and looking at you in surprise. "You don't know who... Oh, it's just from a Twitch Streamer.." He murmured rather softly as he got the coffee down for you.

With a cheerful "Thank you!" You placed the container in the cart. "Oh? Yeah that makes sense. My sister loves that kind of stuff. Are they... A good person?"

"I-I'd like to think so." He nodded quickly. "Are you not.. Like, a fan of content creators? Like.. Uh.. Dream or (P/F/C)?" (Past favourite creator)

"Well... I mean I used to really like (p/f/c) when I was younger. But it kind of... Saddened me, you know?"

He looked at you again and tilted his head a bit, "Saddened you? Did they do something bad?"

"No no! It's just... I try to avoid joining fandoms, even if they make me really happy while in them despite the toxicity. I really enjoy the people who create content, and I like watching them have fun... It's just.." Were you really gonna spill some personal stuff to some stranger who showed you the slightest bit of kindness? Not originally. But he kept watching you, patiently waiting for you to continue the sentence. "They'll... Never know.. How much they saved me."

"Oh.. I see. Yeah.. I've had that happen a lot. When, I watch this guy's streams," He pulled at his mask for a moment, "People always donate money and tell him how much they appreciate him for getting them through rocky times.. It's heartwarming to say the least but he does sound genuinely thankful."

"Oh that's sweet.. What does he do? Or what's he like?" You asked with a smile, although he couldn't see it, as you crouched down to get something from the sheleves. "Unless you have places to be of course!"

He looked a little surprised at first, "Ah... I got time. It's just.. Kinda nice being able to talk to people again after quarantine..." He trailed off briefly before taking something off the shelf as well and putting it in his basket, "Uh.. The streamer is a popular minecraft player. He recently hit a record during a stream and everyone lost their minds. He's a little painfully awkward at some points but he enjoys playing the games and interacting with his chat."

"Oh he sounds nice! I would definitely want to friends with someone like him!" You chuckled softly before frowning and glancing away. "Oh.. Popular.. So I'd be another comment in the flood of a chat.. Damn. I got a little excited. Oh! My bad, I'm (Y/n). Nice to meet you!" You laughed softly in an attempt to brush off the sad atmosphere you made.

"(R/r/n). But everyone just calls me Ranboo. Nice to meet you too." He sounded as if he was smiling but there was a soft sadness in his tone. "Do you not like popular streamers then?"

"No, it's just... that I had always wanted to tell them how much they've helped me through life, or shaped my personality.. Or saved me.. But... They get told that every day by over hundreds of people.. So there would be no real sentiment behind it.. I suppose it just left me feeling a bit hopeless and like a broken record of every other fan of theirs. So, I just watched silently. It hurt, you know? Wanting to thank them, or send them something to show appreciation.. But I never seemed to be able to send it, with the thought that 'it won't really matter to them after five minutes.. You'll just be brushed over. It's pointless.'.."

Ranboo seemed slightly more upset and he shifted his basket into his other hand, "I don't think it's like that at all.. I believe that streamers and creators truly cherish anyone who even interacts with their videos, and even though they know there's some people in the world who can't say anything or buy their merchandise, the creators still know that they're there. They appreciate everyone who comes along their path, whether they support them by giving them money, criticism or their attention!"

You blinked at how... Passionate your new friend was about this topic before smiling softly. "I guess... It never passed my mind.. Thank you Ranboo.. Hey, you wanna be friends and get to know each other more?"

His expression was unreadable due to the fabric covering his mouth and nose, and the glasses covering his eyes. "Oh! Sure!" He sounded quite happy, so you were guessing that you weren't being too awkward. "Here's my number, as long as you promise to never give it to anyone. Even if someone wants to get to know me, okay?"

You took out your phone and looked at him with a strange expression, but quickly nodded. 'Maybe he is just really strict about his privacy.' Once he gave you the number, you sent a quick text to him to give him your contact in return. "Great! It was wonderful meeting you, I hope we can hang out more often! After.. covid of course."

Eagerly nodding, Ranboo finished writing your contact into his phone and slipped it back into his pocket. "Oh yeah definitely! I'll see you soon, (Y/n)!"

Parting your separate ways, you looked down at the newly added contact, 🤍Ranboo🖤 (Platonic hearts), with a smile.

Maybe small actions weren't as useless as you thought...

[cherriesradio]

Soulmate Headcanons with The Big 3 cause why not

(Gn reader) (no warnings) (fluff)

Mirio

Cliche - can hear his soulmate sing

The first time was when he (and y/n) was 5

Y/n was watching the little mermaid for the third time and was like “hey I remember the lyrics to the song so ima sing it too!”

And Mirio, who was eating his lunch at the time with Tamaki, was surprised

“Mom theirs a person in my head should I try to get them out? I don’t wanna though, I like their voice”

And his mom gets so excited (I haven’t reached the flash back scenes so uh yeah) and is like “Mirio that’s your soulmate!”

And he just has a happy grin and is like “Whoa! That’s cool! I wonder when Tamaki will hear his!” And Tamaki is just blushing at the thought

And then in fourth and fifth grade y/n is in choir and he has a love/hate relationship with it

On one hand, he loved hearing his soulmate and having the constant reminder that theres someone out there just for him

On the other hand it got really annoying having to hear them sing the same song over and over again lol

He dealt with it tho

And then comes UA

He has this one classmate…… their REALLY cute……

Low key feels bad for liking someone who (he thinks) isn’t his soulmate

But he doesn’t really think about it much cause he’s busy workin hard hard to be a hero

And then one day he finds this class mate in the dorms commonroom

Singing

And before he finds them he’s like “oh cool soulmate™️ is singing”

And then he walks in the room and at first he’s like “are my ears ringing or something? I hear doubles”

He has just sees y/n sitting there sing it under their breath while studying or something and just

BLUSH

BLUSHING SUNSHINE BOY

And he just plain walks away

After a day or two (where he quickly realized “whoa y/n is actually really amazing” and gets a crush) he just casually goes up to y/n and says “hey can you sing for me for a second? While I walk in the other room?”

And y/n is like “uhhhh sure”

*does that*

Mirio comes running in and is like “YOUR MY SOULMATE!” With the widest grin in the world

And y/n is just so happy as well cause they’ve definitely been crushing on him forever

And their relationship? Most wholesome thing in the world

Cause he’s super caring and stuff he’ll always ask before he does anything at all

“Hey can I hold your hand” “mirio we’ve been together for almost a year” “so can I hold your hand” “*sigh* yes, thanks for being considerate”

Tamaki

Cliche - Red String

As soon as he realized what it’s for he’s just blushing

Sometimes he just looks down at it and blushes

(His parents and Mirio/ Nejire find this to be the funniest thing)

Once y/n flew to Korea to visit family and the string was really tight compared to normal

And Idk about you but I like to think that this can mean two things: their soulmate is more far away then normal or they died

And Tamaki being Tamaki immediately starts think they died

“Tamaki it’s probably fine, their just traveling or something” “y-y-yeah but-but wh-what if if th-their no-not??????”

And then they come back and he just has the three day equivalent of a relived sigh

And then when they move closer to go to UA????

Jesus when the string loosens he just looks down like

O////////////////O “shoot”

And when he sees them in his classroom for third year and the string is so short and then sees them look down

OH YOU BETTER BELIEVE HE DID A MILLION FLIPS TO TRY TO MAKE IT SEEM LIKE THEY WEREN’T HIS SOULMATE

cause he’s a shy baby 👉👈😳

And one time y/n goes up to him and asks to train with him cause “he’s the strongest in the class” (and y/n has a crush on him)

And he just awkwardly nods through the whole thing while y/n is like “where do you wanna meet up? What time?” And then has to have Nejire tell him what they said

And then when they meet up and their like right in front of each other and Tamaki is just STARING at the string as if y/n can’t see it too

“Can you see it?”

Tamaki’s response: O ///////////// O

“So that’s a yes?” *nods* y/n smiles

“That’s nice. Anyways, let’s go start training”

He fidgets with it a lot

He also tugs on it slightly when he wants y/n but their talking to someone else or their working

On a missions when he gets really hurt and goes to the hospital and y/n isn’t with him he’ll tug on it so they know he’s okay

They get a cat when they move in together and once it sat right on the string and Tamaki’s paranoided mind was like “what if we can’t lift it from under him????”

And then y/n had to reminded him that it only affects them two

Whenever Tamaki’s having a panic attack he shakes and trembles and y/n feels it

And then just feeling them running as fast as possible towards him to help

“Y/n where are you going aren’t you on patrol in only half an hour-“

“GOTTA GO TAMA’S PANICKING

Nejire

Cliche - wrist writing

They have knew each other since they were kids, family friends and all

Always knew they were soulmates but still acted like friends till high school when both were finally ready for dating

Every morning one will wake up to a little “good morning honey ❤️”

And all though the day they’ll both doodle on their wrists and some times write little funny things to make the other laugh

It’s like when couples keep each other awake texting till 1am

Once she tried to cook and told y/n and then after half a hour just a wrote “please come to the kitchen help”

Y/N WAS SWEATING

She started a grease fire and was easily put out by Mirio don’t worry ❤️

She’s the type that will get bored and just draw those amazing looking sharpie tattoos

And then she’ll find y/n with them and be like “twins!!!!!!!”

When she was introduced in the show when they visited 1-A?

She gave y/n the wrong time so half way through they wrote “soooooo how’d it go????”

“Oh sorry we’re half way through! Mirios beating them all up :)”

Y/n was concerned

At some point she finds out that it’s not just the wrist but all over their body so one morning she gets a marker and draws little freckles on her face because y/n talks about how they always wanted freckles

She was out shopping and she was like “hey I just found this shirt you would like should I get you it” and when y/n asks what it looks like she draws it instead of bothering to take her phone out and send a pic

Never texts lol

“Why would I text them when I can just write on my arm??????”

Sometimes she’ll pull them by the wrist to drag them somewhere and she does it to herald sometimes and check her wrist and think “on its smuggling that means I’m pulling to hard” and then apologize for ten mou straight

She’s a angel and no one can change my mind

[omegawolverine]

Plesse tell me about queerness in the get down!!

okay okay queerness in the get down let's fuckn goooo

disclaimer: I havent watched this show in full for like 5 months at least, probably gonna get something wrong and/or forget some more important bits. also this wasnt proof read I just word vomited

tws: period typical homophobia, abuse mention, f slur use, bury your gays trope, overdose mention, mention of a creepy possible age gap (the age gap hasnt been confirmed so that's why its possible), cops

going from least to most prominent queer characters, let's start with mylene cruz!

so, from the beginning of this show she has an established romantic relationship with ezekiel (although the status of their actual relationship changes frequently throughout the show) and though this was a relationship she was hesitant to pursue, it is clear that she does have romantic feelings for him and if not for them both having growing careers in very different music genres (zeke specifically working in a genre that she repeatedly labels as bad because she thinks they're ruining records + that it isnt real music because they're using someone elses piece and rapping over it, that's not really important here tho lol) they probably wouldve had a much healthier, smooth sailing romance. that being said theres a few things that happen in the show that, while not explicitly clear, or even really good coding at that—to the point where you wont catch if you really arent looking for it (and trust me, I always look for coding, hers was just so little that it flew over my head until I saw someone else mention it)—are still cool to think about!

so, for starters, I wanna mention the toy box performance, which was performed by mylene and regina, who are best friends. that's all cool and shit, and you dont really think much about it...until you hear about the fact that the show runners purposely colored a lot of the scenes in that performance with the bi colors. like. the writers after the show ended basically said "oh yeah there was plans to make her coding more explicit, but our shit got cancelled soooo" and then dropped the fact that she was gonna be bi (or at least implies bi) in the series, which puts a new twist on a few things.

now, besides the bi coloring in the background of the toy box performance (which was mostly on scenes with her and regina, which involved a lot of uh,, lowkey lewd dancing. with each other. in very revealing outfits. wooooo), there's her music! I dont tend to read too much into this one bc, like I said before, her coding is fucking light and the writers themselves said they didnt really get to do much with it, but I think some stuff with her music is interesting. specifically how her, yolanda and regina's song set me free blew up because dizzee, resident (lowkey enby coded) bicon, got their song played in a queer club. also that the song was majorly important to dizzee and started playing literally right as he kissed a boy for the first time and realized "oh shit I like boys that's bonkers". also that the song can be taken in a gay way since literally the entire thing is about becoming your true self, fully and unapologetically, which is what both dizzee and mylene's entire character arcs are about. dizzee (and a lot of other queer people, apparently), heard this song about being set free and it resonated with them so much that they got that shit most of its popularity.

speaking of dizzee and mylene, they parallel each other a lot in the way that their arcs are about them realizing who they are, coming into themselves and no longer just letting people treat them like shit in a sense (dizzee starting to tell people essentially that they can call him weird all they want, they can make fun of how he acts, what he likes, how he dresses, etc. but he likes how he is and quite literally saying "it's okay to be an alien" as he has consistently compared himself to one throughout the show vs mylene learning that if she wants to be a disco singer she needs to put her foot down, not let anyone, not even the love of her life, not even her abusive father, stop her from achieving her dreams, etc. and continuing to pursue her career with or without their support). one more little parallel that I think is interesting is during I think s2 towards the end of the show is when dizzee and thor are shown together having fun with each other, painting all over the building and each other and are basically just being happy and in love together and then they have these clips of them being interspersed with clips of mylene at a party where she is starting to realize that if she wants to get anywhere she needs to be her own main priority and that she needs to put her career and her dream, which is what makes her the happiest, above all else if she wants to succeed. idk I just think how the show made these two into a weird parallel, accidental or not, is neat. maybe not an explicitly queer parallel, but I think at least how her music and whatnot helped dizzee, the main queer character in this show, blossom, is important.

moving on we got shaolin fantastic also known as "oh no your internalized homophobia is showing-"

so, heres a quick list of...interesting shao facts:

Consistently referred to as fag/faggot (shaolin fanfaggot is my personal favorite); he gets really defensive about this despite nobody actually thinking he's queer, it's just people being assholes to be assholes, and he is the only character consistently referred to using a slur, especially a homophobic one, especially for a "straight" character. dizzee, a canonically queer character, is called a fag less than shaolin is even though dizzee actively goes to gay clubs, has a not so secret dude he "hangs out with" and wont let anyone properly meet, paints his nails, wears less than straight clothes even by the 70s standards and is just all around the definition of fucking queer (and I mean like in the weird way, not the gay way). in fact theres only like once I can remember him being called a fag and it had nothing to do with him actually being gay it was literally just like thrown out there the same way you would call someone a bitch.

Has only shown sexual interest in women, yet refuses to have deeper relationships with women in general (possibly because of trauma but who knows) but takes his relationships with his "brothers", specifically zeke, very seriously

Tells zeke and zeke ONLY his real name when zeke was planning to stop being his friend bc shao more or less got boo boo, a like 14 year old black kid, arrested for selling hard drugs; he was clearly scared and trying to do anything to keep zeke around, literally chasing him down the street and hounding him until he got zeke to stop and argue with him

Kept threatening to beat up zeke in the end but couldn't actually bring himself to do so, instead saying that zeke is "fucking lucky" before walking away

Let's zeke get away with things that nobody else can, in general just has a weird soft spot for ezekiel that he shows with nobody else

when shao found dizzee with thor in a vaguely compromising situation (like they were just shirtless covered in paint sleeping next to each other but shao had also seen everything they painted on the walls ((which some of it was sus)), it was clear they had painted on each others bodies and dizzee had been routinely disappearing with this guy for weeks now yet not producing nearly as much art, at least, as far as we audience members know) he didnt judge him but instead, waited for him to get cleaned up and then told him something along the lines of "theres a reason why im so secretive blah blah blah [not everyone needs to know everything about me]", which, in context, kinda implies that he might be a lil. a lil homiesexual. jus a lil.

whenever even the possibility of zeke leaving him comes up he absolutely loses it. he has literally cost ezekiel life changing opportunities because he thought zeke would just up and leave him for them. this could be abandonment issues bc he's a severely traumatized character, and that probably does contribute to it, but it also is just not a reaction he has to any of their other friends just randomly dipping in and out of his life soooooo

generally speaking, this mfer has got either bisexual with a big hard on for zeke coding or homosexual with terrible internalized homophobia and still a hard on for zeke coding. either fucking way, that nigga gay. he gay as hell. gay as fuck man. there wasn't really much to analyze here tbh bc the coding is just so fucking obvious if you look for it or you are/have been a gay person who's dealt with at least a little bit of internalized homophobia.

also, just a sidenote, idk how fucking old shao, but I'm praying hes like at max 19 bc I'm pretty sure zeke is a minor in this show and shao definetly is not so the whole him being heavily implied to have a crush on ezekiel thing is kinda. oof. not oof if zeke is like 17 but any younger than that? OOF.

edit: apparently the characters are only supposed to be a year apart in age but i had no clue about that before writing this post and since shaos age was never actually stated in the show i naturally assumed he was an adult since his actor Looks Like An Adult. this is definetly on me to a certain extent, but i also never saw anything about this when trying to find our their ages so 🤷‍♀️ maybe i just didnt look deep enough, sorry!

now moving on to the main event...marcus dizzee kipling :]

so, first things first, let's talk enby coding bc him being bisexual was already confirmed!

um, to start off, I just wanna say I dont think this enby coding was intentional or even really coding, it's just moreso me being a dizzee kin on main and knowing as a transmasc enby he has very transmasc enby vibes. for example:

cool, gender neutral nickname that everyone calls him

paints nails various different colors

the whole wardrobe is just a transmasc enby heaven...fishnet shirts, jean overalls, jackets and cuffed pants galore, the big colorful pins, etc

gender neutral hairstyle (when I had my fro it was very sexy and made it easy to transition between hyper masc and vaguely fem, which is pog)

comparing himself to/representing himself consistently with an alien character (though this is meant to represent his sexuality, it could also double as a gender thing too, not neccesarily bc of the whole nonbinary alien trope but bc an enby who likes aliens might heavily identify or compare themselves to whatever their idea of an alien is, whether that just be a genderless entity or a motherfucker with fly style and no need to be perceived as anything other Wacky As Hell)

moving on from there, let's talk about how his queerness is presented to us and how, while it may be a really good piece of representation, especially coming from netflix, it still lacks in A Lot of places.

so, let's start with good things!

i personally really like the get down's queer rep with dizzee bc it's (for the most part) nonsexualized and very very soft, about dizzee figuring himself out and realizing there is a place where he fits in, and about two teenagers in the 70s falling in love over their shared passion for street art. it also features an interracial couple where both boys challenge stereotypes both about queer men and men of color, which is epic poggers and very sexy. this piece of rep specifically is very important to me bc I am a queer black person and even tho interracial relationships are mostly normalized now, I've still had people give me shit for primarily dating white people in a town that is...primarily white lol

mm anyways, I can also appreciate how in the get down, dizzee being represented by rumi the alien is not a thing specifically related to gender (as it often is) and instead is about his sexuality and just in general weirdness and how it has led to him being alienated amongst his peers, poc or otherwise. him seeing himself as an alien is not about just his queerness, which is important, it is about him being a queer black man who talks different, acts different, dresses different and is "soft"—he isnt a walking black male stereotype and he wouldnt have been seen as masculine back in the 70s by any stretch of the imagination. this can be relatable to a wide spectrum of queer poc, from queer black men currently who still have to deal with this shit or to people like myself who are afab neurodivergent mixed race enbies that have always been signaled out as weird and alienated for it. dizzee is god rep bc while he has a small part in this show, his parts are very impactful, hard hitting and show queer poc of all ages that they arent alone and that it's okay to "weird", you just need to embrace it because somebody will love you for you, as thor did for dizzee.

that being said theres um. some minor problemas here,,,

namely:

dizzee and thors first kiss

the lack of development this pairing got

the way dizzee was confirmed bisexual off screen, he never said the words himself, just showed interest in both genders

the way dizzee and thor were never even confirmed boyfriends or just fwb so most of the fandom just calls them boyfriends bc Why Not

dizzee was implied fucking DEAD??? AT THE END OF THE SERIES?????? AND THOR WAS IMPLIED ARRESTED?????????????

now, these might have been things that wouldve been fine had the show been given it's full run but it wasnt which is why we are now left with probelms.

so, from the top, let's go over these: dizzee and thor's first (and only "on screen") kiss was one that was shown in a montage of other queer people making over and doing other vaguely romantic/sexual things, one of those things being a whole ass naked titty being mouthed at, but the actual kiss...was just not shown? like they really did just say "yes they kissed <3 you know this from the context clues of it being in a montage with kissing, hickey giving and titty sucking <3 but no we will not show it <3" LIKE HELLO? I SAW A NAKED BOOBIE BUT NOT TWO MEN KISS??? HUH????????

also, dizzee and thor were both fucking high as hell during this bit like this isnt a terrible thing but it's also like sometimes you do shit when you're high that you wouldnt do sober and they just never kissed again on screen so like?? like idk that's not that bad but it does kinda irk me since they deadass got no other on screen intimacy after that unless you including painting on eacher other or sleeping next to each other on a shitty mattress but not touching at all during it bc they were both at opposite ends of the mattress like half way off it

so yeah, that was trash. then we got lack of development, which kinda goes with the "dizzee being a bisexual but he never says it in canon" thing cause like...okay dizzee was already sort of a side character from the get go like he wasnt the mc by any means, but he became way more of a background character as things continued until we basically only saw him for performances or when he was with thor, yet they got no fucking development as a pairing other than "dizzee realize he gay, he like thor, he and thor spend time together and ig probably do some gay stuff but we dont really know bc we only ever see them do graffiti together now" like?? tf am I supposed to do with that shit. answer. quickly. and then theres dizzee not being confirmed bisexual, which is just a running problem with shows literally doing everything to say a character is bi except for having the character just...say they're bi? which would be so easy? like a good way dizzee and thor couldve had some development is by thor teaching dizzee things about the queer community that he didnt even know existed, thor couldve helped him understand what being bi meant and helped him label himself and whatnot but instead we got an off screen confirmation that the writers had bisexual in mind when writing him. which is garbagé.

the whole thor and dizzee never having a confirmed relationship status is also a development problem cause like literally nobody knows if they were just friends who made out, maybe fucked, who knows, or if they were dating bc dizzee does give a love confession but a love confession doesn't mean there is a relationship, especially since thor didn't say he was in love either (as far as I remember, I could be wrong, plus whether or not that really happened or was apart of dizzee literally overdosing during a performance is unclear so 🤪)

and now for the biggest issue...bury your gays trope.

during the season 2 finale, dizzee and thor are chased by cops after they are found doing graffiti, one of the cops is able to catch thor while the other chases dizzee into a train tunnel and there is a train seen headed straight for him before the show cuts to black on a train horn. the show writers claim that if they had gotten another season, dizzee wouldve been alive but since they didnt and since that's essentially super fan trivia knowledge, most people dont fucking know that and instead had to watch a black queer teenager chose death over being fucking arrested by a white cop. on top of that, thor didnt see any of that shit because he was caught and the cop started hauling him off while dizzee was still being chased so thor literally has no clue where his friend/possible boyfriend fucking is or that he's likely dead in a goddamn tunnel all alone, unless you count the fucking pig that chased him in there who wouldve died too. this shows rep was so fucking good as far as most shows go on not having major fucking problems, on not being toxic and over sexualized, etc, etc. and then they just. killed a black queer teenager for no fucking reason. like it was literally the last episode ever, it would add nothing to the plot, it would just devastate fans and devastate it fucking did. I dont cry easy but seeing a character I identified with, who I had hyperfixated on, die because he'd rather that than be arrested is terrible. it fucking sucked.

so yeah. that's my all too extensive thoughts/analysis on the get down's queerness. theres definitely stuff I missed, or misinterpreted, or looked too much into, etc, etc., but this was a fun thing to spend time writing sooo yeah!! thanks for the ask anon, sorry this was just a big rambley info dump, but hopefully you get some enjoyment out of it since it took like 3 hours at least 😭😭 feel free to ask clarifying questions lol

[creepyalienghost]

literature club

Warning: suicide

——

“Henry. Please join. You would love the literature club.” Wally begged his friend Henry, as they walked to their lockers. This year they were next to each other and for the pass month Wally’s been wanting Henry to join their little book club after school.

It wasn’t like Henry didn’t want to hang out with Wally, he did. They have been best friends since they were kids. He just wasn’t sure that was what he wanted to do. He was an artist not a book worm, Art was his thing.

But he didn’t like to see his friends sad and eventually he gave it to Wally’s request. “Alright Wally.” He replied opening his locker and getting his books for the next class, history. “I’ll come check it out today.”

“Yay!” Wally jumped around with happiness and a big smile across his face that Henry loves to see. “Thank you Henry! Meet me outside room 278 after school!”

Henry nodded. “Will do Wally.” He shuts his locker just as the bell rang. “See you then!” He said with a wave as they go there separate classes.

The school day drags on for hours but eventually 3 o’clock finally came and everyone rushed outta there classes, some to get home others to hurry to their clubs or sports. Henry searched for the room Wally told him to go and found it within minutes. Outside Wally was there waiting and when he saw him that big smile came. “Henry toy came!”

He nodded. “Of course! I never back down on my promise.”

“That’s true.” Wally replied. “Come on in! Meet the others! Sammy even brought cake today!”

Henry followed Wally inside the class room and was amazed at how it looked. It was a regular classroom with desk and all but they made it more cozy. They had a soft chair in the back corner for anyone to read on and there was soft yellow fairy lights hung up on the ceiling. Calm low music played from the radio next to the chocolate cake and drinks. A long bookshelf ran under the windows and quotes from different book lined the walls.

“It’s so...relaxing In here.” Henry stated looking around the room.

“Thank you kind stranger” said a tall brown haired boy walking up. “You must be Wally’s friend, Henry. Welcome to the literature club. I’m Joey.”

Henry nodded in response. “I am. And thank you Joey! It actually looks fun! What all do y’all do here?”

Joey prompted himself on a desk before answering. “We read books of all kind. Horror, poetry, the classics. He decide on something and read that.” He paused for a minute before continuing. “We also right short stories and poems.”

Henry nodded while listening. “That sounds fun but I don’t think I can write poems.” He chuckled.

“Nonsense.” Joey chuckled with him, waving his head away. “It’s easy! If you join I’ll teach you how to write poetry.”

“Really?” Henry ask, feeling a bit excited to learn something new.

“Of course!” Joey nodded. “My mother taught me when I was young. Now I’m teaching these boys.” Joey gestures to the other boys.

Henry accepted his offer. “Yeah. Alright. I’ll join!”

Joey smiled in excitement. “That’s great! We should celebrate! Good thing Sammy brought cake!” He announced. “Come. Meet the other two!” He wrapped his arm around Henry leading him to the table where the others were heading.

Henry sat down next to Wally as Joey handed out pieces of cake and drinks. That hour he got to know the the three more better. Joey was the leader and starter of the club. He love to read the classic books like, to kill Mockingjay, and enjoyed writing about love. Jack was quite opposite from him. He loved reading manga and climes that it is literature. His favorite being the promised Neverland. The last boy, Sammy was the shortest out of all of them. His thing was dark and creepy literature. Anything Edgar Allan Poe he loved. Henry also found out Wally’s favorite books were funny books. Anything that would make you laugh in tears he would read and Henry found that suited his friend.

——

After school the next day Henry headed in the club a bit early. Sammy and Joey were already there and were talking before he came in. “Hello Henry!” Joey called out when he saw Henry, heading to him. Sammy smiled and waved before going to his book.

“Hello Joey! Hey Sammy!” He replied happily.

Joey sits upon the near by desk, facing Henry. “You ready for today’s activity? I thought it would be fun for the group!”

Henry nodded. “I am! I can’t wait to hear what it is!” He said just as the other two arrived.

Joey chuckled in response. “In do time Henry! Until then you can hang out with whoever for a bit. Hell these two just joined us! Welcome boys” he left Henry, going over to Wally and jack to greet.

Henry glances back at Sammy and noticed he had been watching them and he quickly turned back to his book once He looked at him. Henry thought he must be a bit shy for Conversation so he turned to Wally and jack. Wally was hanging out with Joey and jack was reading a comic book. He went over and sat next to jack. “Hey. What comic you ready?”

Jack shook his head. “It’s not a comic book, it’s manga!” He informed Henry. “Have you ever read one?”

“I haven’t.” Henry shook his head. “What is a manga?”

“You don’t know?” He chuckled. “Ah Henry you have lots to learn!” He added before tapping the chair next to him. “come. sit. I’ll teach you.”

Henry sat next to jack as he began talking about all he knew on manga. Henry didn’t interrupt he sat there listening to everything this excited boy to say. He was learning quite a lot about it as time went on. Like where it came from and what was the latest issues of the popular manga. Henry noted some titles he should pick up so they both could read them together.

Time quickly flew by and the hour was almost at a closed. Joey dedicated the last quarter for reading the poems so he left Wally to stand at front. “Alright boys. It’s time to share our poems.” He announced before turning to the newest member. “Henry you can sit this one out and listen to the others today.” Henry nodded in response giving the ok for Joey to continue. “Alrighty. Who wants to read theirs today?”

“I will!” Called out Sammy standing up and grabbing his poem then heading up to the front as Joey sat back down. He held up the poem and cleared his throat. “My poem is called hands”

The hands around, allow me to see

Show me things only they want me to see

The hands around, allow to speak

Using my voice as theres

The hands around, hold me in place

Guide me to one place to another

The hands around, pull the strings

And I can not escape

“Vary good Sammy!” Joey said while the others boys snapped their fingers. Sammy Smiled and headed back to his seat. “Is there anyone else that wants to read there’s?” Joey ask and waited. There was no takers today for anymore reading. “Alrighty boys. I hope to hear from y’all tomorrow. Club Dismiss.”

As Henry grabbed his bag Joey came over. “Hey Henry. Do you wanna go to the bookstore? I can recommend you some easy poetry books?”

“Sure!” Henry smiled with a nod. “That would be cool. Thanks!” He and Joey walked out of the room heading for the book store. Sammy and jack looked at wally before he signed and left on his on.

——-

During brakes in classes he read a few pages of his new poetry book. Joey had helped him pick out one for beginners which has a little of all kinds of topics to figure out what was your style. Love, light, happiness sadness, funny, horror and dark. Henry seemed to be most interested in the poems about happiness and love. He was excited to talk about poetry with Joey, Wally and the boys in the club as well as read his poem today.

When he arrived in the room after school Joey was the only one there at the point, getting the club sit up, Cleaning and fixing the desk back. “Hey Henry!” He greeted as Henry came in. “How’s the book?”

Henry waved at him as he walked up. “Hi Joey! And the book is lovely!” He smiled as he helped him with the table. “I quite enjoy happy rain and pink so fair. There really fun to read!”

Joey chuckled. “That’s great! I’m glad you found you style Henry!” He replied as he started sanitizing the food table.

“Thanks man. I wouldn’t have if it won’t for you Henry.” Henry praised Joey.

Joey smiled with pride. “Aww thank

You Henry.” He replied.

Henry nodded at Joey Just as the rest of the boys joined them. “Hey! There they are!” Joey announced happily . “Hia boys!”

After everyone greeted each other and got settled down with there books, Henry decided to read with Sammy today. He spotted him setting in the comfy chair next to the window. It was storming outside and judging by his book title, it was the right kind of weather for it. Henry pulled up a chair from the desk near by and sat next to him. “Hi Sammy. Hope you don’t mind if I read with you today.”

Sammy looked up from his book and shook his hand. “N-no. Not at all.” A small kind smile spread across his face. “I’m not sure if you’d like my kind of reading through. It’s dark poetry.”

“Oh really?” Henry replied. “That’s alright. I might enjoy it.” He said giving a smile back.

“Well. Alright.” The boy nodded and opened his book up to the first page to a poem called darkness. While Henry scooted his chair closer.

The two of them sat beside one another and silently reading each page as the storm raged outside. There was a lot of emotional and death related poems as well as depression and anxiety. Henry had question himself if he needed help but didn’t wanna asked. Besides the boy seemed happy every time he seen him so maybe it was just interesting to Sammy.

However when Sammy turn the page after reading a while his sleeve slipped down revealing a deep burn, making Henry worried. “Are you alright Sammy?” He ask looking up at him. “What happened?!”

“Uh. Y-yea...” Sammy calmly rolled his sleeve back up while nodded. “It j-just a cooking accident last night. Don’t worry..” he replied with a slight chuckle.

Henry nodded believe him. After all cooking does lead to accident. “Alright. But you might need to bandage that later.” He smiled.

“Thanks. Will do.” Sammy nodded. They both went back to reading the poetry book, Sammy only glancing up once to find Joey staring at him form across the room for a moment before returning to his book. Sammy didn’t dare to look again for the night.

Soon the last quarter of the club arrives and the boys made there way to the front role desks. “Alright boys. Today I want Henry to come forward and share his poem.” Joey replied. “Don’t be shy Henry, we all had our first time.”

Henry came up to the front with his poem ready to share. He’s been waiting for hours for this and now it was his time to shine. He held up his poem and reads it.

I look out in the night

To see a bright shining star above.

I wish upon that star

Things I wish to become.

That star with guide me to

places that I wanna be.

And one day I’ll find that

The whole time the star has been me.

The boys have a round of applause for Henry’s first poem as tradition in the club. Henry smiled confidently as he walked over to Joey. “I’m impress Henry! Vary excellent, for the first time!” Joey commented. “Soon you’d became a natural!”

“Thanks Joey. You are a good teacher.” Henry beamed.

Joey blushed. “Aww thanks Henry.” He chuckled. “Alright guys. Club meeting over. See you tomorrow!” He announced to the others

Wally gathered his two books and bag from the desk in the back then headed to his friend. “Hey Henry. Do you want to head over to the arcade?”

Henry frowns as his friend. “Sorry Wally. I would but I already made plans with Joey for tonight. We can tomorrow though!” He replied.

Wally nodded with a wide smile on his face. “Of course! That sounds awesome!”

“Cool” Henry nodded. “See you tomorrow”

Wally frowns watching his friend leave with that monster he know trusts, as jack and Sammy came up to him. He looked over at them and sadly sighed. Jack gives Wally a hug. None off the boys said anything. They didn’t have to. They knew each other’s pain. They knew there plan wasn’t working. Henry wasn’t noticing the signs even when Sammy purposely showed a big one. Eventually the three left the classroom and went to there homes for the night alone.

——-

Last night had been fun! Joey had taken Henry to poetry slam. Together they watched as people came and read there poems in front of an audience. Some good, some bad. Some short, some long. Some about happy times, others about horror. Henry was enjoying his time with Joey and the boys. He was actually really happy that Wally begged him to join. It turned out great and he couldn’t wait to tell talk to him.

However when Henry walked though the door the vibe was a bit different. Sammy, jack and Wally were in the back of the room talking quietly to each other about something Henry didn’t know. When they all

Saw Henry standing there they all welcome home. “Hello Henry!” Wally was the first. He jumped off the desk with a big smile, walking over and given a hug.

Henry, feeling better then a second ago, hugged back. “Hey Wally! Sorry I couldn’t hang out last night. We will tonight though.”

Wally nodded eagerly. “Great! I can’t wait. We could go to the movies to see one of the new ones showing! Or we could go to the park! Or the arcade?” He listed off things to do, happily

Henry chuckled and nodded. “Ya! We can! You can choose where we go!”

Wally nodded as Joey came in. Everyone then gathered there books there on and choose a comfy spot to read at today. Henry decided to buddy read with Wally today. Another chance to be with his best friend. Wally was on the the couch and reading a book that looks like it was funny. “Can I read with you today?”

Wally looked up and nodded. “Of course you can!” He replied and scooted over for Henry to sit then patted the space. “Come sit.”

Henry did indeed sit down beside him, getting comfortable. After he was settled he looked at his friend and asked. “So what’s the book about?”

“It’s about this guys Journey in a wacky world. There’s all certs of funny things about the world and it’s people.” Wally answered him. “It’s one of my favorite books.”

Henry nodded. “That wonderful to hear. What page your own?

“Oh I’m on page 208 but we can start from the beginning.” Wally smiled and opened the book to the first page. Wally read quietly out loud as Henry followed along. He found himself enjoying the characters the best as they read together. His favorite became a purple man who helped the main character in his Journey.

As always Joey was on time with the last quarter of the club. He got to the front and ask for volunteers. This time jack wanted to read his. Jack got his notebook and flipped to the latest poem he had written. “Alright. This ones called The field.”

In my dreams I see a field.

One so beautiful. One so elegant.

It’s golden sunlight like rays spread across

No darkness can be found.

In my dreams I see a field

Surrounded by friends

Happy as ever

No sadness can be felt.

In my dreams I see a field

Laugher is the only thing to hear

Peace all around

No cries can be herd.

Jack finishes and bows as the others snapped their fingers. He went back to his sit as Joey took his place up front. “Nice job jack! Your getting better!” He replied before turning his attention to the rest. “Alright before we go I have an announcement.” He waited for a moment before continuing. “As you all know the festival is this weekend. I think we should give it a shoot and try to bring more people to our club for once, like the others.”

“Oh! That would be fun!” Wally agreed. “I second that!” Sammy jack and Henry agreed as well.

“Alright guys. I can make the pamphlet but I’m no good with designing them. Wally want to help me?”

“Sure!” Wally nodded happily. “We can start it tonight after hanging out with Henry.”

Joey nodded. “ perfect.” Joey looked at jack and Sammy. “I think we should have a banner as well as treats for the other students.”

“I’ll make the treats!” Sammy suggest.

Jack nodded. “I’ll take care of the banner.”

Joey smiled. “Thanks you guys.” He looked at Henry last. “You can choose who you want to help with.”

Henry turn his attention to jack and Henry. He has to decide who to help. Sammy with the treats or jack with the banner. After some thought he turn to jack. “ I’ll help with the banner.”

Jack nodded and Exchanged their Numbles for later. Once all roles were settled each one began to leave. Henry and Wally left with each other as planned. Joey left after getting belongings, giving a warning glare to jack on the way out, and jack left with Sammy after they cleared up the room.

—————

The next morning, Henry woke up like Normal and started getting ready for school. As he got ready he was reminded of his and Wally’s time together and how he got the sense Wally was off. He had looked and sounded happy but it was like there was sadness. He asked Wally about it the night before and Wally told him he was good. He didn’t bother him again on it that night but was still worried.

Henry grabbed his phone and decided to call him but he didn’t answer. He wasn’t to worried by this as Wally liked to sleep in a bit longer. He’ll meet him outside and everything will be all good. Henry continued getting ready for the day. He got dressed, ate some breakfast then brushed his teeth and headed out to there meeting spot.

There was no signs of Wally as he arrived which was also normal behavior of Wally. Henry decided to read some of his book as he waited and pulled it out, flipping to the page he was on.

He got lost in the book and read longer then he thought. Almost half an hour has gone by with no Wally showing up. This was strange. Wally would have call him if he was sick or not going to school. He would’ve been here if he was. Something was off.

Henry headed to Wally’s house and knocked on the door then waiting. No one came to the door so he tried again meeting with the same results. He turned the noob to see if it was unlocked and sure enough it was. “Wally?” He called out opening the door. There was no answer in the dark house making his stomach to knot up. He walked deeper in the house, calling out again. “Wally? Are you home?” And again no answer. He got to the bottom of of the stairs and looked up calling one more time with no answer.

He claimed up the stairs and approached Wally’s bedroom, knowing on the door. “Wally it’s me, Henry. Are you in here?” He ask pressing his ear to the door. After a long moment with no answer he opened the door only to find a Horrible seen.

His friend...his best friend was hanging from a noose. His desk chair kicked away from him. Wally’s skin was a pale blue grayish color and there was no light in his eyes.

Henry was frozen in place there, unable to look away from his friends corpse. He felt cold tears pour down his cheeks but he couldn’t acknowledge them. It felt like his would just got turn upside. “N-no...” he finally spoke after a long while of Silence. “Wally....” he said then fell on his knees and sobbed in his hands.

Once the shock was gone and he was numb he pulled out his phone to call for an ambulance. It took 20 minutes for them to arrived there and was taking out of the house for them to take down the body. Henry watched them carry his friend out in a body back and loaded in the back of an ambulance, driving away soon after.

He went back to his own house after answering questions and sat on his bed. He didn’t feel like going to school today. He didn’t feel like doing anything today after that. But it wasn’t long before his phone rang. He looked at it and saw it was jack. He didn’t want to answer but he did. “ y-yea..?”

“He-hey Henry.” Jack spoke sounding nervous” I herd what happened...it’s so sad..” he said.

Henry was suspicious of this. How would Jack know if he was at school and why was he sounded so scared. “Jack how do you know..?” He ask.

Jack went silent for a long moment before speaking quickly into the phone. “Henry, Joeys not a good person!” Right then his phone hung up on Henry.

“Hello?” Henry asked. “Jack you there?” After no answer he tried to call him back a few times but couldn’t get a hold of him again. After the fourth try he gave up and wondered what he was taking about. He laid back in his bed in thought staring at the ceiling. He let his mind wonder in memories of him and Wally. The first time they meet, there times at the fair and the last movie they seen.

His thoughts got interrupted again with another phone call, But not jack. It was Sammy. “Hello?” He said once he answered. He immediately herd crying from the other end

“Henry..” Sammy said after taking a moment to calm himself down. “I-I need to tell you s-something...but first I n-need you to p-promise me you will believe me..” he ask sounding desperate.

Henry was so confused and didn’t want to deal with anything more today. But the boy started scared and Henry could swear he herd pounding on a door on Sammy’s end. “Yea I promise Sam. What’s going on.” He ask sitting up.

“It’s Joey...” He told, sniffling fight after. “Joey isn’t a kind person...”