#kiyoomi x you

[sukirichi]

[ DUSK ‘TILL DAWN : 015 ]

“we who bear the burden of the crown do not need to love. you only need to stay here, with me, in power, in greed, in lust – in victory.”

cw. modern royal au. angst. physical violence (not to the reader.) manipulation. lying. angst. hurt and a little bit of comfort ig??

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wc. 10.4k

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[ FIFTEEN ] scattered ‘cross my family line, i’m so good at telling lies – that came from my mother’s side, told a million to survive. . . i can’t forget, i can’t forgive you. ‘cause now i’m scared that everyone i love will leave me

“This was a mistake. We should get divorced.”

The tranquil song of the sea was deceptive. A vast expanse of silver under the soft glow of the full moon caressed Rintaro’s face, his handsome face heartbreakingly heartbroken. The moon hung low in the sky, casting a serene, almost ethereal light upon the two of you. On the distant coast, a lighthouse flickered, its beam briefly piercing the darkness before vanishing. The momentary light was enough to let you see – the truth, the split-second show of vulnerability within his eyes before it left only the memory of its glow.

Rintaro stood in front of you, at an arm’s length away but your heart worlds apart. The long line of spray marked where the sea met the land, its boundary evident. There, where the moon’s loght turned the sand into a luminous carpet beneath your feet, the waves lulled your racing hearts into quiet murmurs swallowed by the breeze.

You listened to his words – words that carried the weight of an ending unforeseen. Disbelief clouded your mind. You refused to accept what you just heard. Turning your head the other way, you bit down on your lip, hard enough you tasted the coppery tang of blood.

The rhythm of the sea was like the lilt of your heartbeat, steady yet trembling. It began, ceased, and began again, each cycle mirroring this endless round of circles you and Rintaro ran in – to loving, to hurting, to forgiving. Was this how ended? In a poorly-timed farewell?

You always knew this moment would come. Someone would have had to say goodbye. You just never thought the words would come from his mouth.

Your feet rooted deep in the sand, you listened to the melancholy refrain of waves crashing against each other. The moonlight reflected in the water, a silver path stretching into the unknown. You stood there, letting the sea speak the emotions too deep to be said out loud.

And what a moment it was – with the beauty of the night, the serene majesty of the sea, and bittersweet flicker of candles behind you.

It would’ve been easier if the sea held your sadness, with the moon as your witness in your quiet despair, the cliffs holding onto their stone each memory you knew you’d keep for many years to come. The night air, sweet and cool, carried away and brought with the wind your unshed tears.

This was a mistake. We should get divorced.

Rintaro’s words echoed in your mind, a cruel reminder that some stories, no matter how beautiful or tragic, all had its end.

“What did you say?” you licked your lips, forcing a smile despite the wobbliness of your knees. It couldn’t be, right? The night was going well. Fate couldn’t be so cruel – he’d just begun to love you. “I must have heard you wrong.”

Your husband turned away from you, his grip on the bouquet tightening. You watched as the flowers crushed between its force, its beauty drained with one just hand.

“You didn’t. I meant what I said – we should end this.”

“Why?”

His head snapped your way. “What do you mean, why?” he hissed, the bouquet slammed on the ground as he gestured to the air. His eyes were blown wide, frantic and desperate. “Look around you. Don’t you realize none of this feels right? Let’s drop the act, Princess. Neither of us truly want each other, and don’t tell me I’m wrong when I see the way you look at me.”

You reeled back, unknowingly clutching at your chest. “And how do I look at you?”

“Like you’re thinking of ways to get rid of me,” he spat out with a laugh, “Like-like you’re looking for the man who courted you two years ago, the one you truly wanted to marry. Well, I’m sorry to disappoint, because you’re not going to find him. He never existed in the first place. Whatever it is you’re looking for, you won’t find it in me,” his eyes blazed with fury, but then, as if the fire within him had been doused, his hands fell limply at his sides. “But you may find him in someone else.”

Rintaro’s gaze dropped to the floor. Sorrow filled his eyes, his expression softened before he spun on his heel. Turning away, your husband stepped forward.

“Take one more step–” you threatened him, hands balled into fists. “–and I will make you regret it.”

“Do your worst,” came his tired reply, his shoulders slumped. “I couldn’t care less.”

His steps were quick, as if he couldn’t waste any more time in getting away from you. It made blood boil within your veins. Before you could notice, you’d already crossed the distance in one breath, furiously grabbing him by the elbow and spinning him to face you. You were certain you look crazed – your face flushed, your cheeks damp with tears rolling down. He must’ve seen it too, his face falling at the sight of you.

“No! You think you can walk away from me? You think you can do all this–” you gestured to the beach around you, finding it harder to breathe with each word you spoke. “–buy me a house, tell me you envisioned a future with me, made love to me, and even prepared this dinner–”

“I didn’t do it for you. It was Kiyoomi who came up with this idea because he wanted to make you happy.”

Shaking your head, you shoved at his chest. “He wouldn’t do that. Kiyoomi wouldn’t be so cruel!”

“Oh, but I am for going along with it?” he snapped, closing the distance until his wrath enveloped you. “Get out of your head. Just because I did all those things for you, doesn’t mean they meant something. Are you forgetting I spent two years of my life trying to win you over, and I never once felt something for you other than tolerance?” When your face fell, triumph washed over his features. “That’s right. You remember now, don’t you? She’s the one I want. Everything I do is for her. Don’t forget your place.”

“My place? I am your wife. It’s my ring that you have on your finger. What place should I be forgetting? All of this is for me, you did this for me–”

“Oh, wake the fuck up, Y/N!” he bellowed, grabbing at his hair before he turned to glare at you. “I’m so tired of you going around acting like everything I do meant something. Has it never crossed your mind I could have just been bored? It didn’t, did it? Because you’re honestly foolish enough to let your guard down and believe that I wanted you!”

“Then why do all this if you didn’t?” you retorted, “You could become King as long as you married me and I gave you a son. You didn’t have to buy me a house, o-or act like you cared behind the cameras–”

“Well, are you? Are you with child?”

“No, but why does–”

“Then you have no hold over me. Marriage means nothing. This ring? This stupid fucking thing?” You glanced at the gold band at his finger, the one you watched roll over the floor on that day you gave it back to him. Rintaro hadn’t taken it off since, but now he looked at with resentment – like it suffocated him, choked him. “It means nothing. You cannot make me King if you don’t give me a child. And as long as you’re walking around without a baby in your belly, then you mean nothing to me. You have no purpose in my life.”

“So that’s what this is, then? Because she’s pregnant and I’m not?”

Rintaro’s face morphed into despair for a fleeting moment, so quick you questioned if you saw it at all. But almost as quickly, Rintaro’s posture straightened, his eyes hardening with steely resolve. Your breath caught in your throat – your suspicions confirmed.

So it was true. He knew.

And all of this – this house, that mocking conversation of building a family with you – it had been nothing but a cruel joke.

A strangled gasp escaped your lips. Stumbling back, your hands instinctively clutched at your chest as if desperately holding together the pieces of your shattered heart. The attempt was all for naught. The weight of betrayal crashed over you like a thundering wave. Each thought was a daggered stabbed to your soul as the pieces fit together – your husband, the one you loved, and his true love, now carrying his child.

Tears welled up, blurring your vision. You tried to hold them back, refusing to let him have the satisfaction that he’d succeeded in hurting you.

And it had been so easy, wasn’t it? He knew you so well, knew you like the back of his hand, that it came without too much effort that it was so easy to have you wrapped around his finger. One kiss, one tender touch, one proclamation of his so-called affections, and you would’ve broken your back bending to his will. He knew. He knew how easy it would be to win you over, and time and time again, you fell for it like the fool you were.

Everything burned. The pain was too raw, too overwhelming.

“You are cruel, Suna Rintaro. I regret the day I danced with you,” you gritted your teeth, digging your nails into your palm. Hard. “Perhaps you are right. We should get divorced.”

Rintaro sighed. “It’s for the best, even if it’s not what you think.”

“Because you can finally be with her, right? Your dream life is already coming true. You’re going to be a father, you’re going to spend a future with the one you love, and I’m hopelessly in love with you enough that I’ll just let it happen,” you smiled for him, clapping your hands together slowly and mockingly. “Congratulations. It’s everything you wanted. Things are finally going accordingly to plan. Should we open a wine to celebrate?”

He narrowed his eyes at you. “Stop acting like a child. You knew what you were getting into when you caught us together and still proceeded with the wedding.”

“You still blame me for that after everything I did for you?”

The silence hung in the air. Somehow, his lack of response already spoke a thousand words.

Unable to help yourself, you glanced at the beach house behind Rintaro. It stood proudly against the backdrop of the setting sun, its white walls glowing warmly in the fading light.

The memories came flooding all at once – the laughter you shared, the stolen kisses when he thought no one was looking, the whispered promises of a life you’d never life. You could almost see them dancing in front of you, like ghosts of the past, lingering in the shadows of the porch and taunting you with the fact it had been too good to be true. So many dreams built, so many dreams shattered.

Your heart ached in ways it shattered you bone-deep. It echoed from your chest and reverberated down to your feet as you recalled the nights you spent wrapped in his arms. His hands on your cheeks, a small smile on his face – when he still looked at you like he loved you and meant it.

But now? Now, that love felt like a cruel illusion – a beautiful dream turned into a living nightmare. The betrayal cut deep, deep enough it left behind the harsh hand prints on your soul. The wounds stinging hard that it might never heal. You forced yourself to tear your gaze away from it – from the swing on the porch swaying gently on the evening breeze, the window that once framed your silhouettes when you welcomed the sunrise together. Each detail was a stab to your already broken heart.

A stray tear fell on your cheek. Brushing it away, hands trembling, you took a deep breath – forcing the salty air to fill your lungs. “Was… was any of it real?”

Turning away from the house was the hardest part. Each step felt heavy, as if the weight of your memories were trying to pull you back. You cast one last, longing glance over your shoulder, your heart silently breaking anew.

Deep down, you already knew his answer. Still, it did not soften the blow when the words left his lips. It didn’t hurt any less when regret crossed his features, like somehow; a part of him wished it had been. “No. None of it was.”

“Okay,” you resigned, your body turned away from him, so he wouldn’t have to see be so pathetic anymore. When you finally spoke again, your voice came out as a breathy whisper. “You should go.”

You heard a slight shuffling behind you, followed by his mumbled words. “I never wanted to stay, anyway.”

When Rintaro walked away from you, each step he took was daunting, final. You didn’t know what hurt you more – the fact he never looked back, or the fact he never hesitated. But there was one thing that was made crystal clear to you now: it was never going to be you. How deeply unfair it was, that a man could say things he did not mean, do things he did not want to. How he could marry you and buy a house, and then turn you away at the next moment.

Love truly was a dangerous thing. It made you break down your walls, hopelessly and blindly handing your heart in the hands of someone, all while silently hoping they wouldn’t break it. And when it did, who would pick up the fallen pieces? Who would gather the shattered shards of your soul as it spilled like blood through his fingertips?

You didn’t have an answer for any of these.

Knees buckling, you fell into the sand, your palms sinking on it with its weight. You cried your heart out – the skies hearing your anguish as it echoed in the dead of the night. You screamed, begged, and called out for a God who never listened. The betrayal left a bitter taste on your tongue, a relentless ache that gnawed at your insides until it felt like nothing was left. As if you’d been hollowed out, bled out to dry, and discarded to the side.

You laid there for who knew how long. The flames of the candle had gone out, the food forgotten and cold. Sand had made its way into your joints and your hair. Your cheek felt crusty and hard from the dried tears. You cried and cried until there were no more tears left – watching from the horizon as the skies deepened into a darker shade.

Just then, a jacket fell on your bare shoulders. Stiffening, you raised your head from where you rested it on your drawn knees – blearily blinking at the figure before you. The man stood tall even with his legs bent, the faintest hint of spice mixing with the breeze.

Behind you, the Second Prince stood, his face devoid of any emotion. Yet, his eyes said it all. You are briefly shocked by how much you saw of yourself within him at that moment. The longing, the sadness – Kiyoomi wore his grief proudly. At the sight of you, his face softened. He offered his hands, one you took with no hesitance, and allowed him to pull you up to your feet. You two stood like that for a few minutes – unspeaking, and just staring at each other.

Kiyoomi was the first to look away.

“You’re cold. You shouldn’t stay out here,” tightening his jacket around you, the Prince suddenly pulled you in for an embrace. It happened too fast, faster than you could react. Before you knew it, your face was pressed against his chest, his heartbeat – strong and mighty – the only sound audible aside from the howling breeze. And you sunk into his hold as your tears stained his shirt, realizing a little too late how much you needed this – to be held so tightly like he feared letting you, like he could squeeze you hard enough and it would hopefully – eventually – piece back together the heart his brother had broken.

“Shhh. I got you, Princess. I’ll always be here for you.”

You’ve gone past the point of believing such flowery words. But when it came from Kiyoomi, you never doubted he’d keep the promises he’d made.

The once-vibrant beach house, filled with laughter and endless conversations, now stood in silence. Its walls held the unspoken truth that forever was not going to last. The gentle breeze that had always carried a promise of endless days spent in joy now whispered farewells through the rustling palms.

Rintaro had begun his farewells. Now, it was your turn to leave everything behind.

The Princes and their companions moved with quiet efficiency. Ever since that dreadful night, things hadn’t been the same anymore. No one spoke about what happened, but it didn’t take a fool to understand that romantic dinners weren’t supposed to end with you and Rintaro returning to the house hours apart – both miserable and mum. One quick look at you two, and the Princes began packing up.

Everyone knew their time had run up.

Casting a final, longing glance at the house, you breathed in the salty breeze one last time. The memories clung to you, each step you took feeling like a betrayal to the woman you could’ve been – the wife he could’ve had, and the mother you would’ve been. With a heavy heart, you watched as everyone loaded their luggage back to their respective vehicles, each one of them driving off. Their movements – along with yours – had been mechanical, as if the finality of their departure had numbed everyone to their core.

You looked out the window. The sun had began to greet the world with its morning kiss. The sea, once shimmering and glistening with spark-like waves, now seemed to mourn with you. The beach, scattered with the footprints of a happier time you’d said goodbye to, would soon be swept clean by the tides.

Any traces of the memories you made would be wiped clean by the world itself. If only it could give you a new beginning, too.

The journey back to the palace was somber. The rolling hills and distant forests passed by in a blur of muted colors – the world passed you by, in both the literal and metaphorical sense. If anything, the ride back felt like walking into your own death. A death march of duty and purpose. Speaking of duty… your hands cradled your belly. You weren’t pregnant, nor were you experiencing any symptoms. Rintaro knew this, too, otherwise he wouldn’t have thrown it in your face that you were merely nothing but a breeding mare for him – and a failed one, at that.

The palace loomed ahead, its grand spires and imposing walls reminding you of your reality.

Back at the beach house, your emotions were valid. There, you were a brokenhearted person who longed for true love. Here, though? None of that mattered. The Palace was not a place for emotions. It was a pillar, the foundation of what the Crown held – power, victory, wealth, control. Here, you were a Princess, and a Princess should always hold her head high.

You couldn’t do it. Bile rose up your throat each time you pictured yourself walking down its grand hallways, the gold shimmering and blinding you. Just the mere thought of the Queen studying you with her observant gaze made you squeamish.

You turned to Rintaro. “Can we please head to my parents instead?”

He looked at you like you’d grown two heads. The Palace was already in view. Still, his gaze darted at you, and back at the Palace, as if seriously considering it. Then, he pinched the bridge of his nose and slumped against his seat. “If you are doing this as an act of revenge–”

“I’m not. My parents truly did want to see us.”

Rintaro contemplated. Absentmindedly, he spun the ring on his finger, gazing down at it with an unreadable expression. His voice was light, and whisper-like as he said, “You cannot tell them about the affair.”

You pursed your lips. You never planned on doing so in the first place. Crossing your arms against your chest, you huffed. “Don’t worry, Your Highness. I never planned on ruining your perfect image.”

Rintaro didn’t bother with responding. Instead, he asked the driver to head back to the Yuzuru Estate, and quickly informed Her Majesty on the detour. It didn’t take long enough before you were surrounded by the familiar grove of trees that led to your place. The sound of wheels on cobblestone mingled with the soft murmur of the midday breeze. Outside, the manicured gardens and stately mansions blurred into a comforting embrace, their elegant silhouettes nostalgic. You couldn’t help but feel the need to reach out, to run your fingertips over the freshly mowed grass, or admire the shapely bushes designed to perfection.

You missed your home very much – one of the few places you felt solace in before your life turned upside down.

Pulling up into the driveway, your butler immediately opened the doors for you. There was a round of warm welcomes and joyful smiles. You’d missed them, too – all the loyal staff who took turns watching over you, even when they remained hesitant to properly acquaint themselves. Nevertheless, it was home. You greedily breathed the fresh air in, letting it fill up your lungs as you breathed out the darkness pooling at your chest.

The double doors opened, and the two of you were ushered in. A few minutes later, your mother came rushing past – a shawl drawled at the curves of her arms. A smile instantaneously, rising up from your seat to meet her halfway.

“My daughter, oh, how I missed you!” she laughed, the sound of it light and coloring up the room. Pulling back from the embrace, she cupped your face with her gloved hands – all her previous smiles slowly wavering. “My goodness, have you been eating well? Sleeping well? You look… different.”

You winced. It would be hard to hide things from her, but you had to try.

Leaning into her palm, you gave her the biggest smile you could muster – teeth flashed and all. “I’m okay, Mother. The Palace can just get a little exhausting sometimes.”

“Does your husband not help you with your duties?”

It was your father who spoke this time. He must’ve come straight from trimming the bushes; a sunhat covered his head, and he wore gardening gloves that were stained with grass and a miniscule of dirt. You didn’t miss the way his gaze leered at your husband. Rintaro was stiff behind you, having stood up as well as soon as your mother entered. “He does most of them, so I believe he is more tired than I am,” you supplied, pointedly ignoring Rintaro’s relieved sigh. Clapping your hands together, you walked towards your father with open arms. “But let’s not discuss any of that – how is everyone doing? I feel like it’s been forever since I last stepped in here.”

“Ah, no,” your father complained as he held you at an arm’s length away, “My clothes are soiled, and you are pristine. Do not bother yourself with getting dirtied.”

You pouted; your mother giggling behind you.

Being back at home was an instant medication. You hadn’t been here in months, yet the effect was evident – your shoulders felt lighter, your smile more natural. You’d stopped trying to think of Iris, too, yet you remained warily aware of your husband. And it was clear Rintaro was unsure of himself. He lingered longer on the doorways, his interactions with your parents more formal than it had been compared to the first time he called upon you. You couldn’t blame him for his discomfort – the question of his affair lingered on the air.

It was only a matter of time before someone addressed it.

A few hours later, with your stomachs filled with warm, homemade meals, you all moved out towards the back gardens. The garden stretched out in a lush expanse beneath the golden glow of the setting sun, each corner rich with the memories of your precious childhood.

Winding stone paths meandered through vibrant displays of blooming flowers – roses in shades of crimson and blush, peonies in soft pastels, and clusters of fragrant lavender. Elegant statues and an ornate fountain stood in the middle of it, their waters cascading beautifully. Majestic oak trees, their branches spreading wide in a serene embrace, provided cool, dappled shade – your signature reading spot from your teenage years.

You’d made many memories here; time spent with your father chasing you and your mother around as your gurgled giggles echoed through the air. It was also where your father taught you to use weapons (much to your mother’s distaste), and eventually, even a date spot when Rintaro wanted a reprieve from the public eye.

Rintaro and your father went ahead. Your father claimed he hadn’t properly worked out in a while, and that perhaps your husband could help him warm up. Beside you, you and your mother watched as the two men rolled their sleeves up to practice sparring. It’s a silly thing, but one you knew Rintaro enjoyed. He often spent time with your father like this when he was still courting you. They toyed with weapons, hunted birds, and sparred with one another. It was your father’s way of gauging Rintaro’s strength at first. Now, they simply did it as a way of bonding.

You smiled despite yourself.

You could still remember those times vividly, where warmth crept up your neck upon the knowledge your parents liked this boy you adored. You appreciated all his efforts, never once backing down from an absurd request from your mother, or another challenge from your father. Rintaro had proven to them, without fail, that he was dedicated in winning your heart.

He’d succeeded. It would be impossible if he didn’t.

He came every day, always at seven in the morning, with a bouquet of flowers that led you into reserving a room just to turn it into an indoor garden. He’d brought flowers for your mother, too, and you knew the moment she shed a tear at his sweetness, that he’d also won their hearts. The sweet ‘yes’ he’d been working hard finally came a year during the courtship. It was on that memorable night he’d driven you out for dinner – no drivers, no servants, no anything. Just you and I, he’d said with a smile, placing a kiss upon your knuckles.

It was the first night you’d kissed him, and the first night you stayed up awake as you lost the battle of trying to calm your racing heart.

If you’d known that early that his heart had already been occupied… No.

Even if you knew, even after you knew, it was too late. You were doomed from the moment he’d picked you out from the crowd. You’d resigned yourself to your fate when the throng of people parted for him as he made his way to you, wearing the most dazzling, lazy smile befitting for a Crown Prince.

You didn’t stand a chance.

You might’ve fallen in love the moment you stepped on his toes, and all he did was laugh.

“My dear,” your mother’s silken voice pulled you out of your trance. Smiling at her, you turned her way, silently sipping on the tea the servants had prepared. Before you, your mother twitched, playing with her fingers splayed on her lap. “I don’t mean to suddenly spring this up on you, but surely you’ll understand a mother’s curiosity and concern. So, tell me. Is it real? Is it true the Crown Prince is cheating on you?”

Your body froze. You’d seen this coming – known she would’ve asked one way or another.

“No, Mother,” you shook your head, dropping your gaze onto your lap in the hopes she wouldn’t see right through you. “His Highness would never. That article was already proven to be a hoax.”

“I see…”

You shared an uneasy silence. Seated across from each other, you stirred your tea absentmindedly, gaze drifting over the manicured hedges that framed the secluded nook. Your mother, poised and composed, sipper her tea with deliberate slowness. You could tell without looking at her that her inquisitive gaze searched for answers on your face. For signs of the truth you struggled to conceal with each passing minute.

The gentle clinking of porcelain and the soft rustling of leaves did little to alleviate the tension, the silence between you two growing heavier with each unspoken word.

Finally, your mother set her cup down and sighed. “I still remember the day the Crown Prince came to call on you,” she began, her words delicate and careful. Her gaze flitted to the two men before you, still elbow-deep in their sparring. “Your father and I didn’t want to believe it at first. You were always beautiful, of course, but you were such a shy, little thing. We worried you might grow old without striking a conversation with any man, but a Prince? A Crown Prince, no less? We were over the moon,” she shook her head at the memory, a small smile playing on her lips. “But then your father and I both agreed you didn’t deserve any lesser man. There couldn’t have been anyone else for you. The Crown Prince was perfect.”

He was, you wanted to agree, he used to be.

“I remember that day, too,” you mused, the image of the Prince with his slicked-back hair and three piece suit flashing in your mind.

You’d expected he would look out of your place in the Estate, whatnot with the royal crest on his chest, yet he never looked more fitting – surrounded by your family portraits and delicately gazing at your childhood photos.

“He was especially handsome – I’d say even more so than when he showed up for the Palace’s royal events.”

“Well, I wouldn’t be surprised. It was clear he wanted to impress us, and you, especially,” teased your mother with a slight poke of her elbow, her face softening. “I remember it all, my dear. How he would always share with us his plans for the dates he’d take you on, how he always took you home at the exact time he promised he would. He was a perfect son, the perfect addition to our small family. And I could never, ever forget how you changed when you met him.”

“I changed?” your brows furrowed, before you shrugged in agreement. “I suppose I have. Being with someone like him… I had to be conscious and aware of everything I did. Do you remember that, Mother? When I begged you to come shopping for clothes for me when you knew I never was interested in any of it?”

Your mother giggled behind her hands.

“I was so happy that day when you asked me to come with you! I thought my sweet girl was finally growing into a mature woman. But that wasn’t the change I was talking about,” she continued, sliding her chair closer to yours. Her palm landed on top of your knee, and she slowly caressed there – just like how she did when you first scraped your knees. And how healing it was, a mother’s tender touch on top of your wounds. It made you want to rip your heart out and shove it between her fingers, to silently beg her to make it all okay.

“…When you met him, you became radiant. In love. You smiled more often, and you opened up a whole new world that the Prince showed you. There wasn’t a day you didn’t speak fondly of him. And you had that look on your face, sweetheart–” she ran a finger down the side of your face, her eyes glistening with tears. You couldn’t understand why she looked so broken. “–it was in your eyes. Everyone could tell how much you loved the Prince.”

You swallowed, the smiles you wore becoming more and more faded. “Mother, I still love him.”

“I know, sweetheart, I can tell,” she cooed. Prying the cup from your hands, she immediately held your hands in hers, her warmth soothing as it seeped through her gloves. “But I also know you’re not happy anymore.”

Your resolve began to crumble.

“Mother…”

Your eyes began to glisten with unshed tears that you struggled to keep at bay. Despite your best effort, the façade of composure slipped. A single tear escaped, trailing a path down your cheek – and just like that – a dam had opened. The door holding your secrets unlocked. It was hard – painfully so – to pretend everything was okay when it was not. You felt like a little child again. A little girl craving her mother’s soothing embrace, and you couldn’t help it – you launched yourself into her arms, burying your face in the crook of her shoulder as your body shook with each sob.

“Oh, sweetheart,” your mother patted your back. Judging by the way her body quivered under you, she’d been crying, too. “It’s okay, I promise. Please, tell me what’s wrong. I can’t handle seeing you like this.”

“Mother, it’s…” you bit at your lip, trying to muffle the whimpers that passed your lips. “I’m sorry, it’s true. I didn’t want to lie, or have to hide it from you, but Rintaro loves you both a lot and I was afraid you’d hate him–”

“Oh! Oh, my poor baby. Never apologize, okay? It wasn’t your fault.”

You clutched her tight, her dress balled into your fists. A part of you told you that you should feel pathetic, that your actions weren’t Princess-like. That Her Majesty would frown at the sight of you and tell you to act your age. But you couldn’t muster the strength, not when your mother’s embrace was the only thing keeping you together – the only thing that told you it was safe enough to fall apart. And so you cried, your tears soaking her dress and the fabric wrinkling under your grip.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

Your mother’s sniffles was the last thing you heard before the sound of a fist connecting with skin resounded in the area. Pulling back, you gasped at what you saw.

Rintaro was lying on the ground, your father on top of him. Your father grasped Rintaro by the collar, delivering blow by blow to his face until blood spattered to the grass. Somehow, you managed to scream. The sound was ear-splitting as your heels hit the ground, clutching the ends of your dress as you ran for him. Rintaro wasn’t putting up a fight – his arms limp by his side, his head swaying with each merciless punch on his face.

“Stop!”

“You cheating bastard,” your father glowered, rearing his arm back for one final blow. “How could you do that to my daughter?”

“Father! Please, stop!”

The commotion caused servants to pour from every corner. The guards arrived, pulling your father back by the elbow as he struggled to free from their restraints. Meanwhile, your mother stood beside him – crying and dabbing her handkerchief at his blood knuckles. And you? You fell on the ground, uncaring that the grass had stained your dress, and loomed over your husband. “Rin,” you called out. A low groan was all you received, but it was enough. You breathed out a sigh of relief, immediately calling for the servants to bring some ice and towels.

“Get out of here! You aren’t welcome here anymore!” your father kept kicking and screaming, the sounds of your mother’s pleas falling on deaf ears. “I swear by the Gods your title won’t keep you safe, boy, you will regret it–”

“Get up,” hooking your arm around Rintaro’s elbow, you grunted at his weight. “Rin. Come on. Let’s go.”

Still dazed from being beaten, Rintaro’s legs wobbled underneath him. He groaned, finally wrapping an arm around your shoulders as you limped back to the house. Your father was still a screaming mess, but you knew your mother would calm him down eventually. For now, you needed to tend to his cuts.

You brought Rintaro up to your room. A servant had left an ice pack and some towels there already. Making Rintaro get rid of his bloodied shirt, he changed into one of your father’s – his wince displeased yet left with no choice. Once he’d changed into something clean, he sat at the edge of your bed, shoulders slumped and his handsome face bloodied and bruised.

The air was thick with uneasiness in the dimly lit confines of your room.

The soft glow of your candlelight flickered across the ornate furnishings and Rintaro’s wounds. You worked quietly before him, finding there was no need to speak. His face, usually lacking in interest and graced with slow, lackadaisical smiles, was marred by a collection of bruises and cuts.

Your hand trembled slightly as you carefully dabbed a cloth soaked in cool water against a swollen cheek. The Crown Prince, despite his physical pain, looked even more vulnerable under the soft lights – his usual demeanor replaced by quiet resignation.

With delicate movements, you applied salves, ensuring your touch remained tender and soothing. It wouldn’t erase the hurt from his body, but maybe your care would make it ache less. Each gentle stroke of your fingers served as a silent apology for the pain he endured. And the room, filled with the faint scent of healing balms and the soft rustle of fabric, suddenly felt all too intimate.

The silence between you was heavy, punctuated only by the occasional rustle of the bandages and the soft sighs coming from him. As you finished tending to his wounds, your eyes met, and for a moment, it felt like he was that young man from two years ago – fresh-faced, and red-cheeked upon entering a maiden’s room for the first time. He’d been so nervous back then, his hands clammy and drenched with sweat. In reality, that man was just a fragment of who he truly was now – your poor, bruised husband who winced at every tender, caring touch. As if your love wounded him, and cut him in ways he couldn’t heal from.

As if he just waited for that finishing blow to come from you instead, to be his final damnation.

But it never came.

In that fragile moment, Rintaro closed his eyes, leaning into the caress of your palm as it hovered beside his face. This gesture you remembered – of him accidentally cutting his palm open with a letter opener years ago, and when you’d wrapped bandages around his wound. He did the same thing and leaned into your touch, only to kiss the insides of your wrist. He’d looked up at you from under his lashes, his lips full and ready to be kissed. And kiss him you did, because then he’d been yours, and you’d been his.

You didn’t pull away then. You couldn’t pull away now.

Using your thumb to stroke his swollen cheek, you sighed, the sound tired and heavy. “Did you tell my father? Is that why he beat you up?”

“No. We barely spoke during the spar,” he informed, tongue darting out to lick the dried blood off his lips. “But he kept looking over at you and your mother. I reckon he was just waiting for you to reveal the truth eventually,” just then, Rintaro chuckled, wincing when the motion made his cuts split further apart. His smile remained, however, and you drunk his features in – the way he tipped his head to the side, his eyes hooded, with just the barest hint of a playful smile. “You were never a good liar, you know that?”

“Is that so?”

“Hmm,” he hummed, “On our second date, you told me you didn’t want to watch the movies because you were worried people might crowd us. But it was written all over your face how much you wanted to.”

That, you remembered, as well. You found it impossible how a Prince – a Crown Prince – could simply saunter to the theaters like he was any regular man. He was right; you did want to. You’d never been to the theaters since it was always crowded, and you never did well in the dark. But you soon learned the dark wasn’t so scary when he had his arms wrapped around you. If anything, it felt elating – having the Prince play with your fingers, his gaze never really focusing on the movie.

Rintaro’s jaw clenched, more so in thought. “You always kept things to yourself, always did things for me even when it made you uncomfortable. Was it because I’m the Crown Prince that you felt you couldn’t be honest with me?”

“Not entirely. I guess I was just afraid that if I didn’t do what you liked, then you would lose interest in me.”

“That would never happen,” he interjected, “The moment I laid my eyes on you, I knew you were the one I wanted to marry.”

The realization dawned on him a little too late. His words carried weight with its double meaning, and he winced. The moment was broken. The thread snapped right in front of your eyes. Pulling away from him, you quickly gathered the bloodied towels and set it aside. You made yourself busy, fully aware of his eyes on you, but you wouldn’t dare look back. You had a feeling that if you did, your mind would run rampant again on the last time he’d been here in your room, when your sheets still smelled like him, and he’d fucked you hard enough on your bed that your bodies left an imprint.

You wouldn’t look at him. You couldn’t.

“I’m sorry about what my father did.”

“It’s fine. I deserved every punch,” he shrugged it off, then smirked. “Although I’m probably less appealing in your eyes now. Bruised and all. I don’t look very Prince Charming-like.”

You snorted. “Since you wish for my honesty, then I’ll tell you now the whole Prince Charming act never suited you.”

“Really?”

“Yes. I liked you better when you finally became more comfortable around me. You weren’t as poetic as when you first started courting me, but you were more… yourself. You were funnier, and a lot more charming when you weren’t trying so hard,” you broke that rule all too easily, and you did look at him. You looked at him, even if you could never see through him. “To me, it felt like I wasn’t dating the Crown Prince at all. I liked the unfiltered version of Suna Rintaro better. The one who enjoyed silences, instead of filling it with flowery words to get my heart fluttering. The one who preferred phone calls over texts because you wanted to hear my voice before going to sleep. The one who I considered my closest friend, the one I knew I wanted to marry, too.”

He was beautiful like this – his shirt hanging loosely at his broad shoulders, his arms slightly leaning back as it dipped with his weight on the mattress. His hair was tousled, the dark locks beautifully framing his face. And his eyes – hazel and more brown than green as the orange ember glows kissed him – were something you could lose yourself in for hours. For forever, even.

Suddenly, you wanted the world to end this way. You wanted time to stop if it meant picturing him like this, frozen and unguarded, beautiful and smelling like your perfume. You would’ve died a happy man if it meant this would be your last moment. With him on your bed, his clothes on your floor, and your ring on his finger.

You yearned for him so badly your body ached.

“Princess,” he mumbled after a pregnant pause, his voice coming out small as he said, “Why don’t you hate me?”

“Who says I don’t?”

The smile you pulled from him is lighthearted; unresevered. “Let me rephrase my question. Why do you still love me?”

Because isn’t that what love is? To know someone’s flaws, and to accept them as who they are? To see all your bad mornings and watch you stumble into the bathroom, clumsy and hazy. To see you at your worst, to choose arguments with you than silence with you. I thought that’s what love meant – to see the ugliness in another and to defy the impulse to turn the other way in search of another, the ‘someone better.’

You don’t tell him that. Instead, you offer another truth. “I wish I knew how to answer that myself.”

“I’m afraid,” Rintaro admitted, voice vulnerable and small. “I fear that one day, your hatred of me will consume you, and you will forget why you ever loved me.”

The candles cast soft shadows off his face, flickering like the fleeting time of the time you had with him. Each flame pulsed with the restless ache in your heart as you recalled the moments of closeness and intimacy that was half-heartedly reciprocated.

Your gaze drifted toward the space where he’d once lain beside you, the indentation in the sheets a painful reminder of the absence that now filled the void. You wanted to tell him you hadn’t changed the sheets since he last slept here. The scent of his cologne still lingered in the air, he still had his own pair of socks in your drawer, he’d left a wristwatch or two behind. He was here everywhere in your room, even if his heart wasn’t.

And it was so hard – so fucking hard – to accept that he didn’t love you.

Want me, you pleaded silently, at least want me. Just a little bit.

With slow, deliberate steps, your hand rested lightly on the bed’s edge, your fingers brushing against the cool, smooth fabric, as if permanently pushing the warmth of his presence back to the bed. Your heart ached with a bittersweet yearning for a heart that was never fully yours, a yearning that clung to you until it wrapped its fingers around your throat.

He was here now, wasn’t he? He wasn’t leaving. He said he would divorce you, he said it was always going to be her, but he was here – in front of you, in your room. If you dared to reach out a hand and crawl close enough, you could fall into his lap and cradle his head to your chest. And it was exactly that passionate longing that would ruin you – because you couldn’t resist. You couldn’t resist from trailing your fingers up his arm, all the way to his face. His eyes were unreadable; his pupils dilated and his lips pulled apart.

God, you wanted to kiss him.

So you pulled him close. Grabbed him by the collar, and slid yourself into his lap until Rintaro was forced to scoot backwards to balance you both, his large hands coming to rest on your hips. You breathed hard, shaking your head at yourself before your forehead knocked with his.

“Rin… Your Highness,” you corrected, rasping out the words. “I���m sorry. I know it’s wrong, and I know I could never have your heart but could you just – could you please hold me? Just for a minute, please. Pretend that you’re in love with me, I just–” your breath hitched when he squeezed your hips, to stop you or encourage you, you couldn’t tell. “–I just want to feel it again. That happiness I had with you.”

Rintaro hitched you up higher on his lap. Your chest crashed with his, and his lips followed. He tasted of blood and sugary biscuits. His taste, and his scent, flooded your senses until there was nothing to perceive but him.

And the kiss? It isn’t gentle. It isn’t soft. It’s desperate – lips bruising lips, teeth knocking with teeth, and tongues passionately grasping at one another. Your hands fly everywhere after that. Tugging at his hair, grabbing him harder by the collar to deepen the kiss. He swallows every sound you make, breathes them in like he needs them to live. So you give all you can and moan out his name – not Your Highness – and revel in the way he keens. He melts like snowflakes in the heat of your palm, like your touch burns him. You’re seconds away from dragging him back up on the bed when Rintaro suddenly shoves you off him. He flings himself upright and crosses the other side of the room in quick strides, the quick rise and fall of his back facing you the only thing visible from the dimly-lit room.

He didn’t need to say it out loud.

He’d regretted that kiss. Your heart broke once more as you sat at the edge of your bed. His rejection stung, even more so when he wiped his lips with the back of his hand. Rintaro was shivering now as his head knocked against the window. Each breath he took seemed labored, as if even the act of drawing air was a struggle against the overwhelming sorrow that enveloped him. The air around him felt dense with the gravity of his internal torment, and your heart sank as you finally voiced out what he could never say out loud –

“…You really don’t love me.”

The silence falling over the room wrapped around the space like a heavy, suffocating shroud. the absence of sound was deafening. It pressed in on the walls and made each breath feel louder. Every creak of the floorboards or distant murmur from the outside was amplified, heavily echoed in the thick air. And when Rintaro finally spoke, it came with a tone of finality and unconcealed regret.

“I’m sorry.”

You swallowed, blinking back the tears as you fixed your appearance. “Pardon me for a moment,” you began to exit the room, your hands hovering on the handle before you you’re your decision. “Your Highness… is it okay if I stay here at my parents? It’s just for a few days. I don’t think I can handle returning to the Palace anytime soon.”

“Of course. Take all the time you need.” Rintaro did one final sweep of your room with his eyes. Something unreadable passed over his face. In the next moment, he cleared his throat, and opened the door himself. “I should leave. Goodnight, Princess. Please tell your parents that I left already, and I truly am sorry for the mess I caused.”

Rintaro was gone before you could say anything.

Just before his back disappeared from your line of sight, you saw something you thought you would never witness – Rintaro took two steps at a time on his way down, his frown pronounced as he wiped the tears off his face.

It unfolds like a badly written tragedy.

One moment, Rintaro is standing in the confines of your room, his heart racing with a desperate urgency that pulsed through every fiber of his being. He’d wanted to keep kissing you. Pulling away, and resisting his desire had to be one of the greatest pains he’d experienced, but he had to. He couldn’t keep doing this to you. His conscience wouldn’t let him.

That’s why he had to resort to doing the only thing he could think of in that moment – to run away and leave you behind.

Storming through the stately halls and out the grand doors of your estate, Rintaro pushed through. The weight of his regrets made each step harder to take, a burden that dragged him toward the waiting car parked outside the chill beginning to settle.

He jumped into the vehicle, ignoring his driver’s confused queries before slamming the door shut behind him. Inside, the car felt like a confining cell, its leather seats and polished surface now an inescapable prison of his own making. His hands, trembling with a mix of frustration and despair, gripped the steering wheel with a white-knuckled intensity.

In a sudden, raw burst of emotion, his fist struck the steering wheel with a deafening thud. The impact reverberated through the car and sent a shiver down his spine.

Still, he kept going – each strike of his fist minimal in comparison to his anguish. He reveled in it, the sharp pain in his knuckles a fleeting distraction from the deeper, more consuming agony that began to eat away at him.

His breaths came in ragged gasps, each inhalation a struggle. The air inside the car felt stifling, thick with the heavy scent of leather and the acrid tang of the remnants of blood at his face. His tears began to flow uncontrollably, streaming down his face and mingling with the sweat that dampened his brow. In the suffocating silence, his mind raced through a myriad of memories – from when he’d first kissed you, when he first held your hand, and the tender embraces he held you in.  Each memory served to remind him of what he had now – nothing but a fractured connection, a strained marriage, and your fragile heart which he couldn’t protect.

Each image passing through his mind were tinged with bitterness. He recalled the warmth of your presence, the way your smile could light up the room, and the feeling of your hand in his.

He wished he could take it all back – to start from the beginning, to re-introduce himself to who he truly was. But he couldn’t. He knew he couldn’t. It was too late.

He’d gotten Iris pregnant.

Rintaro hadn’t mean to. Sure, he was careless and never used protection, but he thought little of it. Iris’ cycles were irregular and they never worried if she missed her period. She was always on the pill – all because of him, since Kiyoomi wouldn’t have touched her anyway. In another lifetime, Rintaro might’ve felt happy. Instead, he was filled with crushing dread. He couldn’t be a father, he didn’t want to be like his father.

And why hadn’t she told him? All this time… he foolishly thought she’d began ignoring him because it was a mutual, unspoken feeling that they’d just gotten tired. He never handled the media’s criticism well, and Iris wasn’t any better. She cared about her image and reputation more than anything – so why hide this from him? If he had known sooner…

What? his mind taunted, What would you do if you knew sooner?

Rintaro’s head dropped to the steering wheel. The voice in his head was right. He wouldn’t have done anything. Had he known four months ago, he would’ve celebrated. Had he known two months ago, he would’ve been upset, but choose to take responsibility in the end. But now? Now his decision was clear. Without giving it a second thought, Rintaro pulled out of your driveway and headed straight for the palace, dialing Iris on his way.

She picked up on the third ring.

“So it’s true,” he spoke to the phone, driving past the other cars on the highway in full speed. He should drive more carefully, but his blood was pumping loud in his veins – your touch lit a fire in him, and he needed that fire stoked. “You’re pregnant.”

A pause came from the other line. “How did you know?”

Rintaro gripped the steering wheel tighter, glaring at the phone even if she couldn’t see. “You’re heartless, Iris. How could you let my wife find out about it first before I did? Why did she have to tell me?”

“She told you – what? I never planned on letting you know about it, Rintaro. I don’t even know how she found out!”

“What, you were going to use that baby against me? Is that what you planned?” he growled at her, “You’re not keeping that damned baby – you’re getting rid of it right now. I’m not letting you fuck up my marriage.”

“I wasn’t going to keep it anyway! You’re absolutely insane if you think I’m planning to give birth to your filthy child–”

“Shut up!”

Rintaro ended the call. He’d had enough of her and her greediness. How dare she keep something like that from him, aborting his child before he even knew of its existence?

He stepped harder on the gas.

The engine roared in defiant response to his intense, almost reckless driving, its powerful growl a stark contrast to the stifling silence that enveloped the car. The air inside the car was thick with the acrid scent of tension and frustration, each breath he took feeling heavier and more labored as he fought to keep his rage contained.

His thoughts raced with the echoes of the argument, each harsh word and biting remark replaying in his mind like a relentless loop. The sting of her anger gnawed at him, fueling the fire of his own resentment. The images of her face, twisted in frustration, seemed to haunt the darkened windows of the car. Iris seemed to do that often – haunting him both in his dreams and a nightmare.

Rintaro couldn’t fathom why it was too late when he realized she’d never been a good person to begin with.

She was never his friend.

She only approached him because Rintaro was malleable. He was a blank canvas of a man, a lost Prince. He was nothing but an experimental toy for her. She’d kissed him, stolen his heart, and fed him lies that she’d give him what he wanted if he did what she liked. And he did – every fucking time. He drunk himself wasted, because Iris didn’t like drinking alone. He smoked packs of cigarettes for her even when he hated the taste of nicotine, because Iris got antsy without smoking. He fucked her hard and deep, and spent countless nights in her bed, because her husband never wanted to touch her. And what did he get in return?

Fake smiles. Sarcastic, mocking comments. A dry reply from his enthusiastic texts. A quick, good fuck if they were bored enough.

Iris never wanted him. She only ever wanted one thing: security. And when she was married to a Prince, and had another wrapped around her finger? She could do no wrong in the eyes of the throne.

As he drove, the powerful beams of the headlights cast fleeting shadows across the road.

The palace loomed ahead, its silhouette a distant promise of refuge that seemed increasingly out of reach. The anger that coursed through him was a force unto itself, a seething urge that refused to be quelled.

As he approached the grand gates of the palace, his emotions were spilling all over the place. He only had one place in mind: Belleview Manor.

Rounding a corner in the dimly lit hallway of the palace, Rintaro came to an abrupt halt. The reaction of his body was instantaneous: his breath caught in his throat, his muscles locking into place. Before him stood the Queen, her regal presence magnified by the soft, flickering light of the sconces lining the walls. Her silhouette, framed by the rich, opulent draped and the gleaming marble floors, seemed almost otherworldly.

She stood there, unmoving, like she’d somehow known he would be coming any minute now.

Rintaro’s head pounded in his chest. Cold dread washed over him, an icy hand clutching at his insides. The Queen’s serene yet inscrutable expression was nothing but an act, that he knew. In reality, her expressions were alien and foreboding. Her eyes, deceptively warm and reassuring, stared back at him like dark abysses, their depth hinting at the hidden complexities and secrets Rintaro had never cared to consider before.

He felt as if the ground beneath him had shifted, his already unstable world rocked by the revelation of a hidden side to his mother that he never perceived.

He stood frozen, a tangible sense of fear and anger enveloping him as he confronted the unsettling truth: the queen, his mother, was a mystery he had never fully unraveled.

The secrets she harbored, once a vague notion in the back of his mind, now loomed large and menacing, casting a long shadow over his perception of her. The fear that gripped him was profound and disorienting, a jarring contrast to the reverence he had always felt. His whole life, he’d only wanted one thing – to please his mother, to make her proud, to be a Queen’s son worthy of becoming the next King. His whole life he’d only done what he was told.

But in that moment, he was consumed by the chilling realization that the mother he had known and loved was a stranger, and the weight of her concealed truths left him trembling with a profound, unsettling fear.

“You,” he breathed out, his fear now overtaken by his sight going red. He felt mocked, humiliated, used. “Why did you never tell me?”

The memory of that night on the beach was seared into his mind.

He could never forget it – Iris’ sneer, the way her lips curled in contempt, as though he were something beneath her. Her words had cut deep, bleeding into his every being until the truth pounded at his veins. She had looked at him with disdain, her eyes cold and unfeeling, as she spat out how she’d never wanted to be with him, how she’d used him to cure her loneliness. A rejection born from a sick, twisted confession.

And now that he’d fulfilled his purpose in the bleakness of her world, he was nothing more than a disposable distraction. She’d called him worthless, a joke, someone unworthy of her attention – a prince in name but never in her eyes. The wind had whipped around him, cloaked around him like a glacial storm, but it was her biting words that had left him feeling exposed and small.

She’d delivered a stab to his heart that no amount of time could erase.

I never wanted to be with someone like you in the first place.

Didn’t you know, Rin?

You were never the King’s son.

[irisintheafterglow]

do you guys ever think about streamer!sakusa because i do

cw: swearing

sakusasbigtits👑👑: wait wtf are they in the room ??? hinatashoyolover: ASHDSFKAJSDFHG ellawantsaran👑: PARTNER REVEAL violetvolley2012: mOVE YOUR FUCKNIG WEBCAM oikawamilkbox7: SHWO PARTNER SHOW FPARTNER miya_osamu: what the fuck is going on

"what the hell is a miya doing in my chat? i could've sworn you guys just finished a charity stream," he dodges, leaning back in his chair as chaotic messages urging him to show his partner flew by. "look, i don't know what you guys are talking about. there's no one in the room but me." cross-legged on his bed and wearing his jersey, you stifle a laugh into your fist just out of sight. his eyes flicker over to you for a moment and soften before he goes back to manipulating his chat.

miyarearrangemyinsides👑: YOU FUCKING LIAR sakusasbigtits👑👑: WHY ARE YOU GASLIGHTING US

"i'm serious." more messages of indignancy light up his screen. "i don't think you guys even know what gaslighting means." a smirk spreads across his face as chat explodes, taking the bait and continuing to argue with their favorite man through a screen. "thank you kuroobella7 for the five gifted-"

stop being a big baby and show us your partner, deadpans the automatic voice reading out his donations. you can't help it, that time, and the laugh that slips out is definitely picked up by kiyoomi's mic.

sakusasbigtits👑👑: WHO WAS THAT oikawamilkbox7: WE HEARD THAT OMI tinygianttwo: hi sakusa!!

"hey, shoyo. welcome back to the hellhole that is my chat," he says, continuing to ignore the outrage rising in his stream. "hop in vc one, i'm gonna see if bokuto wants to play phasmophobia." your attention returns to your laptop and you continue with typing out the rest of your assignment.

you vaguely register kiyoomi saying something about grabbing another drink, forcing an ad onscreen before creeping over to you. his hands rest on the edge of the bed as he leans forward, pressing his lips softly to yours and smiling against your mouth. "i love you a lot."

"i love you more. when are you gonna stop convincing chat that i don't exist?"

"when they earn it," he answers simply, kissing the corner of your mouth and the tip of your nose. if lovesickness were a disease, he wouldn't mind being ill. "which i think will take a very long time."

"you are not making my stream debut a sub-goal," you chuckle, tilting your neck up to kiss the moles above his eyebrow. "i will not let you."

"how else are they gonna earn it?"

"i am not letting you monetize showing my face on your stream, omi," you reiterate with a delirious smile. he continues to push, nudging his nose against yours like a needy cat.

"you're cute when in my jersey. what if i end stream right now and just lay here with you?"

"okay, lover boy," you say, gently pushing his face away. "go back to--huh?" both of your attentions shoot to your phone, where the beaming face of bokuto's contact photo illuminated your screen. you swipe down on the sudden influx of notifications and feel your heart stop.

Less Tolerable Miya👎🏐: CHECK CHAT HAHAHA THERES NO FUCKIGN WAY Better Miya🍙🏐: oi check your volume stupid Bokuhoe Kotaro🦉✨🏐: BABE YOUR BOYFRIEND ISNT MTUED Less Tolerable Miya👎🏐: wait is my name in your phone still less tolerable miya Sunshine Shoyo🧡☀️🏐: SAKUSA'S STREAM SOUND IS ON

"oh...shit," he mutters, pressing one more kiss to your forehead before running to his computer and throwing his headphones on, face bright pink and tripping over his words. his chat is a wildfire, persistent and absolutely uncontrollable. at some point, kiyoomi just gives up and leans back in his chair, looking for you to help.

you raise your eyebrows in question.

he tilts his head to beckon you over.

you appear in the frame of his webcam, wearing his jersey. kiyoomi looks at you like you are the only thing that matters in his entire world.

"alright fuckers, you happy now that you've seen 'em? good, because if we reach subgoal, i'm gonna make them play fnaf with me."

if you enjoy my writing and would like to support me, you can buy me a coffee on my ko-fi! you can also check out my full masterlist here :)

[viviaj]

you’re housing a glass of something brown.

it’s definitely alcohol and it’s definitely strong. which isn’t surprising, since it’s kiyoomi’s.

kiyoomi is tall amongst his team mates. black slacks and a black shirt loosely tucked in to his frame; he looks vampiric as his skin glows in the shitty house-party lights.

his waist is slimmer than the other’s around him. the curve of his shoulders into his stomach and down to his hip bones are perfect.

you watch him snort and cover his mouth as he laughs at something, quickly waving it off as shoyo asks to do a shot with him. kiyoomi rolls his eyes, and they take the shot.

it’s maybe half an hour later when you see kiyoomi stumble his way back to you and your couch. his hair is sticking to his face, and his shirt looks like it’s been untucked in places.

the sunken-in brown leather couch dips when kiyoomi slides into your side.

“you having fun?” you ask as kiyoomi presses his nose into your cheek, you giggle a bit as his breath tickles your skin.

“so much fun,” he says as he’s pressing open mouthed kisses on the side of your face, his lips moving towards the base of your neck, and all the way up to the bottom of your ear.

“you’re so cute over here, jus’ sittin’ by yourself,” he mumbles, “holdin’ my drink for me.. so sweet and kind,” he’s talking nonsense.

you nod along because what do you even say to that? it’s hard to argue with him as he’s sliding his hand up and down your thigh, teeth nibbling at your ear.

“can’t stop touching you,” you squirm as his hand sinks higher up your thigh, “i want you so badly baby, please.” he’s practically begging you, with his hand moving towards your inner thigh you can’t help but inch closer to him— he’s so close.

“not here omi,” you turn to try and return his kisses but he just whines.

“no, no you don’t— you can’t say that,” he presses his hand in further, all whiny, “please just— baby just let me do this, i can’t help myself.”

there’s an insatiable feeling coiling in your stomach.

“people are looking.” you try to calm down, slightly pushing against kiyoomi’s hands.

“i don’t care,”

you can see his cock hardening in his slacks, and he looks so good.

there’s a distant whoop and cheer in the distance and you have half a mind to think it was aimed at the two of you.

“kiyoomi..” you sigh.

“don’t. just stop talking— please,” he grabs your hand and slowly places it on his clothed cock. his hips immediately buck up into you. you’ve never seen him so needy before.

“you’re so hard,”

“yeah? you feel it?” he’s mouthing against you, “it’s all for you. you know that, yeah?”

and no. you didn’t really know that. kiyoomi has never been so vulnerable. usually the quiet and stern type during these moments, this is the first time he’s ever been so open.

you slowly rub your hand up and down, enough for kiyoomi to whine his way to your lips, pressing light kisses in a way that can only be seen as desperate.

“i love when you touch me. so much. shit,” he mumbles, “i don’t say it enough. i swear,” his lips are so warm.

“kiyoomi, let me take you home,”

he shakes his head no against you, “no. need you now.”

“i cant give you what you need here,” you mutter, embarrassed at even saying anything like that in public.

“you don’t need to,” his slender fingers move over your underwear, slowly touching you. your chest gets caught in your throat and you’re suddenly aware of everything in the room, “feel good?” he kisses your jaw.

he slips his hand under your clothes, his fingers tracing over you and your thighs. your hand covers your mouth as kiyoomi feels you.

“guys?”

you jerk back into the seat as shoyo approaches the two of you. to your horror, omi doesn’t even pretend to stop, his fingers moving over you like it was his job.

“yes?” he sounds bored.

and at that point their voices are gone. all you can feel are his fingers and his breath and his body. it’s just him him him.

and then it’s not.

kiyoomi’s stroking your cheek slowly, “gonna get another drink,”

“wait. what? kiyoomi? why did—”

he looks devilish as he presses a small kiss on your forehead.

“i’ll be back.” voice full of sweetness as you’re writhing on the couch, “i’ll take care of you at home.”

[jadeoru]

SMUDGED LIPSTICK

20: dissipating fear -> prev / mlist / next

now playing: deep red - movements 🎶

The doorbell rang once, twice, and when she showed no sign of answering, it rang a third time. Confused by the insistence, she slowly sat up from her couch. She tugged all 3 blankets off with mourning burning in her chest. It was far too cold. She wanted to crawl back under the warmth and enjoy her second nap of the day. Unfortunately, curiosity got the better of her. She stood up, pulled the cuff of her sweatpants leg, that hitched up as she tossed around in her sleep, down and made her way to her front door. She didn’t look through the peephole. Why didn’t she look through the peephole? How different would the outcome of that afternoon be if she had looked through the peephole? She unlocked the door, and slowly pulled it open. Peeking her head from the side, she would have screamed, only her shock kept her at bay. Standing in front of her, on her own porch, was him. He stood there as if it was all too familiar, reminding you of many things: rainy days spent under the porch, trying to light her cigarette. Her hands were always too shaky from the cold. She never had to worry about burning herself, because he would always end up lighting it for her. He stood on that porch as if it were a monument; a symbol of which he loved and worshipped. Her stomach felt sick.

He looked distraught; his curls were slightly messy, almost frizzy. Her Omi was never like that. He wouldn’t leave the house without making sure each individual curl on his head was perfect. Maybe that was a slight exaggeration, but her Omi cared too much to leave his house looking like that. His haphazardly styled hair was accompanied with dark circles under his eyes, which was also unlike her Omi. Sleepovers. Whenever they had sleepovers he made it abundantly clear that he needed more than eight hours of sleep, never settling for less.  - He always made sure she did too. He barely looked like he slept a second. His clothes looked lazily chosen too, he had a plain dark grey jumper on, with black sweatpants to match. He was without a doubt Sakusa Kiyoomi, but she struggled to see Omi. She swallowed the lump in her throat and it didn't go away; like a pill swallowed dry. 

“Sakusa? What the fuck are you doing here?” She asked, but it wasn’t a question. He could tell; almost reading her mind. What she meant to say was: “Go. Get out of here - Far away from me, and don’t come back.” He knew he wasn’t welcome, part of him wanted to turn on his heel and listen to her unspoken plea. But he knew that was pointless, he’d always come back. “I need to talk to you.” he spoke sternly. She could hear the desperation that stained his tongue - it only served to fuel her anger.  “I don’t want to see you.” she spat, her face twisting with a mix of anger and disgust. Her heart was searching for a reason to forget everything and take him back. Something, anything, but she found nothing. She gave him enough chances, and he wasted them. She wasn’t going to let it slide. She found no reasons to let him back into her heart, but she found a million to slam the door in his face. As her hand pushed the door, he stuck his foot out, preventing it from shutting. He stepped inside, to stop her from shutting him out. He called her name like a prayer, and she couldn’t count the emotions heard in his tone on one hand.

“Please listen to me. Let me explain everything.” He pleaded, his tired eyes were filled with sorrow. She had no more fucks to give him. Her arms crossed, fists clenching as she struggled to keep her volume at a normal level. “I don't want to hear shit from you!” She shouted, her voice trembled slightly. He took a step closer, his hand reaching out to her, she pushed it off of her quickly. “Everything will make sense if you just let me explain!” He shouted back, but quickly regretted raising his voice. He mentally kicked himself, trying to remain calm. “No! I don’t need your explanations! I gave you a second chance, and you fucking blew it!” she began. Her hand pointed at him angrily, enunciating each syllable that left her lips with pure disdain. He tried to cut her off, saying her name to get her to listen, but she kept going. “I just don’t understand you, Sakusa! We were finally on good terms again - great terms! But, no! You just had to fuck it up, didn’t you? Now that you finally had me on your side, you got bored, huh? Was that it? The chase was over? Was I boring you?!” she yelled, not once listening to any excuse he had to explain himself.

“Why did you just disappear again? We were finally good again! Was it because we fucked? Is that it?” her eyes were wide and her eyebrows were furrowed. He quickly shook his head. “Of course not! I just-” she cut him off, unbothered to hear his shitty way of redeeming himself. “What? Was I getting in the way of your little girlfriend?” she asked, disgust on her tongue She wasn’t stupid. She saw all of the news accounts - him going on dates with a girl at their cafe. His eyebrows furrowed, his face scrunching with pure confusion. “What? What are you talking about?” he asked, desperate to understand. She scoffed. “Don’t play dumb! The girl you keep bringing to the café! Is she so insecure that she can’t handle us being friends?!" Oh. Now he knew what she was talking about; Kiyoko. He met with Kiyoko for advice - to help talk to her. The situation was diving from misunderstanding to misunderstanding. But, he had the patience to stay, waiting for his chance to clear everything up.

“Girlfriend?  Don’t tell me you believe those news accounts - They call anyone I look at my girlfriend! They’ve said the same thing about you for fuck’s sake!” He yelled, trying to get her to just listen to him. “Then why the hell have you been avoiding me? I thought we were fine- i thought we were fucking incredible! But then one day you just fucking changed! You just left me like it was nothing! Just like last time! I don’t understand why-” her voice was filled with emotion, and she desperately fought back tears. He let out a shaky breath. Clenching his fists, he cut her off. “Because I fell in love with you!” he shouted, louder than her - louder than the thoughts that whirled in both of their heads, effectively silencing everything. 

Everything went quiet, and for a second Sakusa almost turned around and went home. She stared at him, pure shock evident in her eyes. His knuckles were white from clenching his fists so hard, but they slowly regained colour as he looked down to the ground. “Again.” he added quietly, filling the silence, and adding to the confusion that lingered in the atmosphere. She blinked, dumbfounded. All of the rage slowly dissipated out of her. Not because she forgave him, - it was replaced by a need for answers; an explanation. “What?” she asked, her voice was shaky, and weak from shouting. She couldn’t believe the words she heard. He had to be joking right? Love was an arrow to the heart, that pierced through any worries or insecurities; it pushed through any obstacle, and surrounded the heart in joy. Love wasn’t a bullet to the head, a wound that reopened after years of trying to heal. None of his actions made any sense to her. If he loved her, surely the logical thing to do would be to tell her, right? She needed the peace of understanding. He took a deep, shaky breath, struggling to find the right words. “I… um.. This sounds so unbelievably stupid but please just let me explain.” He pleaded; his usual stoic, unbothered appearance was long forgotten. It was strange to see him so… expressive. Everything about him lately had just been so strange. She didn’t respond, she stared at him, waiting for him to continue.

“When we were younger… um.. before we fought, I really liked you. And… it scared me.” He paused, the room quickly filled with silence. “You were just so… perfect. You were funny, kind, caring, pretty and I couldn't help but want to be yours.  And.. then we got closer, and I started to think that maybe you liked me back… and I got scared. There were so many other people you could’ve been with - so many people that could’ve given you the happiness you deserve. I didn’t want you to choose me. I mean, I'm a mess. I can’t love you like someone else could. You deserve so much better. So I panicked and.. Well, I left. I know it was stupid, I really shouldn’t have done that. And you’d think I'd learn from my mistakes, but no!  I went and did the same thing again!” he clenched his fist as he spoke, his knuckles turned white again and his fingernails were scraping his palms painfully. But that was the last thing on his mind. “When we became friends again I was the happiest I'd been in a while. But, then the feelings came back, and… I left you again. But I swear I tried to apologise. I realised how stupid it was but by that point you had me blocked and I didn’t know what else to do.. So, I met up with your friend Kiyoko for advice, because I really value our friendship and I don't want to lose you again. I thought that leaving you would help the feelings go away but they only got worse. When you’re gone it’s like.., there’s something missing. I can’t function properly without you near me. It sounds pathetic but that’s just what you do to me. I can’t even sleep anymore without thinking about you. You’ve made me into this mess of a person and I should hate you for it but I just can’t. I could never hate you.” He spoke frantically, letting all of his thoughts out, some of which were kept inside since they were younger. His voice cracked as he reached the end of his final sentence, gradually quieting as he tried to calm himself down. “I regret hurting you, and I regret never telling you how I felt. I understand if you never want to see me again, but I can’t live the rest of my life without telling you how I feel.”

She didn’t realise she had been holding her breath until she involuntarily gasped for air. She had never felt so many emotions in a single moment than she had then. He looked at her in a way that made her want to both punch his face and kiss it. She let his words process in her mind, trying to figure out an appropriate response. She was beyond conflicted, and although she hated to admit it, the sight of him so vulnerable; desperate to make things right between them made her heart flutter a little. She was still struggling to grasp the concept of him liking her back. She had so much to say, and yet no words left her mouth. He spoke up again before she could, desperate to fill the silence before it consumed him whole. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry for leaving you.” He almost whispered, the regret in his voice was loud, despite how quiet he spoke. She was silent again, which made him unbearably anxious. He couldn’t stand the aching feeling inside of him; the guilt and regret that surrounded him, leaving him no opportunity to escape. Every breath he took caused the pain to sting a little more. He was slowly crumbling apart under her gaze.

She took a few steps towards him, until they were only a few inches apart. She looked at him with intentions he couldn’t quite put his finger on; he had yet to decipher. He stood there, confused, waiting for her to say something, anything. Despite her confident exterior, not even she was fully sure what she was doing. She was undeniably pissed off. She was also sad, strangely relieved, and ultimately frustrated at her rapidly beating heart. She didn’t trust herself to speak, knowing she didn’t have the right words to say to him - so she let her hand do the talking for her; slapping him across the face with a loud clap. It hurt, and she didn’t hold back; the sharp pain that rippled through his face did a good job at establishing her anger. He stood there and took it without a single complaint. The second her hand left his face his eyes immediately found their way back to her.

“You deserved that.” She said, a shadow of a smile on her face. “I know.” He admitted, breathlessly. He didn’t care about the stinging pain that danced on his cheek, he was just glad she was even acknowledging him to begin with. Months of painful silence really does something to a person.

A part of her was annoyed that he didn’t react to being slapped. The selfish part of her - that wanted to bring him the pain that he inflicted on her. But in all honesty, she didn’t expect him to react any differently. Even though there were times she wished it wasn’t true, she knew him more than she knew herself. The fluttering eyelashes that decorated his harsh, angry eyes, which seemed to soften around her, were as familiar as a morning breeze. He wasn’t just some ‘what could have been’-relationship, he was her Omi. Even after all that came between them, he was hers.

He waited for her next move, not knowing what else to do. He could tell there was something else she wanted to do, or say. He could sense the hesitation in her eyes. His heart banged in his chest; a syncopated rhythm of anticipation and admiration. He found himself struggling to stay in place, his body unconsciously trying to lean in to her warmth. He searched her for a sign of anything; her body language, her eyes, - he tried to find any hint to what was going through her mind. He could see the temptation in her heart, it matched his own. There was something she wanted to do, badly. It was an urge; an itch that she couldn’t scratch unless she went through with it. She knew she shouldn’t, and she was fully aware of the consequences if she did go through with it, but her lips were pressed against his before either of them could fully realise what was happening. Bad decisions were the foundation of their relationship anyways. Bad ideas were a fluent language when it came to them; There was no harm in adding another one to the mix. She pulled him towards her by his shirt, and kissed him like it was what she was born to do; letting all of the love she felt for him out into the air without saying any words. Her anger slowly faded away with every passing second spent with their lips connected.  He was caught off guard at first, tensing up with wide eyes as he realised what was happening. He quickly melted into her touch, cherishing every second of it like it was the last time he ever could. It was quick, and anything but perfect. But it perfectly encapsulated how she felt. It did a better job at conveying her feelings than words ever could. She was mad at him for what he had done to her, but she could never hold a grudge against him when he looked at her the way he did. A single moment has never felt so right.

The kiss was the best and worst thing that ever happened to him. He knew this. She probably knew it too. It was everything he ever wanted, and that was the problem. If he couldn’t push his feelings for her aside then, there was no chance he’d ever be able to from then on. The bittersweet sensation of her lips pressed against his was one he found himself addicted to. As their lips collided, he couldn’t help the fear that loomed over him. The fear he found himself used to; familiar. Now that he got a taste, he knew he’d never want to let her get away, which only served to make his fears worse. But strangely, he had a weird feeling that things would be alright.

After what felt like both the longest and shortest moment of his life, she pulled away from him reluctantly, staring into his eyes. Silence fell over the two of them, as they caught their breath. Their faces remained inches apart, as if an invisible magnet was keeping them together. He gulped, still struggling to come to terms with everything that’s happened. He cleared his throat. “Does.. does this mean you forgive me?” he asked, a genuine tone in his voice. He sounded exhausted. She couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped her lips. Unfortunately. “Would I have kissed you if I didn’t?” She asked rhetorically, a smirk on her face. Her mind still struggled to process what had just happened between them; reeling at the close distance between them. “Fair point..” he muttered, finding himself smiling slightly. Despite all of the worries and fears that plagued his mind for years; a loud constant in his life that festered deep within him, one look into her eyes made it all go quiet. The way she smiled at him had him thinking that ‘yeah, everything would be alright.’

They were quiet again for a moment, this time it was comfortable. It was a nice moment of peace, where they mutually enjoyed the fact that things were finally good again - again. She was quick to fill the silence again after a while. “So you’ve had a crush on me since High School, huh?” She teased, relishing in the way his face quickly grew flustered. He looked down to the ground, a wave of slight embarrassment washing over him.  “Maybe..” he admitted, looking up at her hesitantly. “Quit looking at me like that, idiot.” He added, and her smirk only grew. “What? It’s cute! Who knew that Mr. Serious Pants was capable of feeling this kind of thing!” She chuckled, watching with pleased eyes as her teasing had a visible effect on him; even if he tried to deny it. “Don’t call me that.” he stated sternly, stepping back from her with an agitated pout. She laughed. She laughed and he hated how it was the one sound he had wanted to hear for the three months. But he told her all she needed to know, he wouldn’t tell her that. Not if he wanted to be a victim to her endless teasing. “Shut up.” He tried to remain a calm, uninterested tone, but his voice cracked slightly; flustered.

She was quiet again, before stepping closer to him and  pulling him into a hug. He had a vague idea, but he didn’t know just how much she had missed him. Even if she disguised her yearning with anger. He was taken aback, but quickly adjusted to her warmth, awkwardly wrapping his arms around her and patting her back. She chuckled. “I’ve liked you since High School too, y’know.” She confessed, leaning her head to the side so he wouldn’t see her face. He let out a huff of amusement. “Oh really now? Are you saying that you still like me now?” He asked, beyond desperate to hear her answer, but he didn’t make it obvious. She laughed again, pulling away from him to look at him. “Mm, and what if it does?” she asked, a goofy smile on her face - The smile he would spend late nights thinking about. “Well, I'd probably ask to kiss you again.” He admitted, sheepishly. “Well in that case, I really like you, Omi. - More than just a friend…” She looked up at him with doting eyes, her smile spreading out to her cheeks. She knew that it was stupid to be nervous, especially since she knew he felt the same. But she couldn’t help the anxious butterflies that tore her apart from the inside. She couldn’t prevent the lump in her throat that didn’t want to go away. His eyes softened, trying his best to ignore the blush that crept onto his cheeks. “I..” he began, mentally hyping himself up to continue. “I really like you too.” His voice was quiet, but she heard every word, and clung onto each syllable that left his lips with love and desperation. The smile on her face never faltered, only increasing in size. 

He leaned in close to her, something he could never get used to, and paused when they were only a breath apart; their noses almost touching. “I believe I owe you a kiss.” A small smirk filled his face. She chuckled, “I believe you do.” No other words were uttered, nothing else needed to be said. He leaned even closer, before he finally connected their lips again. His lips moved gently and tenderly against hers. It was sweet and unhurried, wordlessly expressing the love for each other that they had to keep to themselves for so long. All of it seeped through their lips and into the other’s. He was inexperienced, and struggled to figure out where to put his hands; opting to place one at the back of her head. She placed her hands on his cheeks, stroking it lovingly with her thumb. He hummed into the kiss, slowly losing his mind at the pure satisfaction that coursed through his veins. The only reason he pulled away was to catch his breath, and even then, he immediately missed the sensation of their lips pressed against one another. She looked into his eyes with a lovesick smile, seemingly drunk on love. He wasn’t aware that he was looking at her in the exact same way.

“Omi?” She asked, quietly, removing her hands from his cheeks, and nervously fidgeting with her fingers. He could’ve whined with annoyance as her hands left his face, but for the sake of his dignity and pride, he didn’t. He noticed the sudden change in the atmosphere, and couldn’t help but feel like he knew where this was going. “Yeah?” he asked, reluctantly. She hesitated, swallowing and taking a deep breath. “Could we.. maybe give this a try?” She asked him, a hint of nervousness and yearning spreading across her features. He was silent, and she could practically see the mental contemplation he was facing in his mind; a silent battle between his love for her, and the lack of love he had for himself. “Are you sure you won’t regret it?” he suddenly spoke up, his voice quiet. She smiled softly, placing her hand on his shoulder in an attempt to quiet his whirling mind. “The only thing I regret is not asking you sooner, dumby.” She tried to lighten him up, but she could still see the guilty fear that silently tore him apart. She noticed how his eyes strayed from hers, looking down to the ground. “I know I won't regret it.” She reassured, and his eyes reconnected with hers. He spoke up again, his voice was barely above a whisper. “I’m sorry that I won't be able to love you like you might want me to..” His eyes were clouded by a guilty melancholy. “I.. I don't know what I’m doing, but I can try.” He added, a tone of promise and determination laced in his words. He might not be able to love her the way a normal person could, but he wouldn’t go down without trying. He tried to move on twice, and it didn’t work out either time. He couldn’t just stand there and let someone else take his place. He needed to grow up. He wasn’t sure if he could make her as happy as someone else could, but the selfish part of him couldn’t even handle the idea of seeing her with someone else. He was gonna try, - and he was gonna try hard.

“It’s okay. I can teach you.”

The way those words left her lips fed him with a new confidence, and suddenly the tormenting fear began to disappear. Things were gonna be okay. His lips curled up into a wide smile, and it had her heart pounding in her chest.

“Then.. will you be my girlfriend?” He asked, and a chuckle left her lips.

“Of course I will, Omi. You big idiot.”

She wrapped her arms around the back of his neck, and pulled him in for another kiss; full of relief, passion and devoid of fear. Fear was left behind - An old friend whisked away into the night.

He was going to love her like it was what he was born to do. 

bonus thingy for the funsies:

“Hey you left your door open dumba-” Nishinoya stood there in shock; eyes flicking from Sakusa to her as they quickly broke apart from their kiss.

“WHAT THE FUCK!” He yelled, eyes wide with disbelief as he stared at the scene in front of him.

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?” She asked, a rush of embarrassment crashing over her like a tidal wave.

“I DITCHED THE PARTY TO SEE IF MY BEST FRIEND WAS DOING OKAY!”

“WHY DIDN’T YOU KNOCK?”

“WELL I FIGURED YOU WOULD BE TOO LAZY TO OPEN IT FOR ME - NOT CANOODLING WITH THE ENEMY! Hi by the way..”

“..Hey Nishinoya.”

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a/n: i typed a wholeeee sappy speech and tumblr fucking obliterated it this was my last straw

we're done!!!!! it's finally finished!!!! sorry this took so long my life was literally insane i was homeless at one point lmfao BUT WE PERSEVERED!!!! thank you so much for being patient and thank you for the love and understanding i hope all of you are well and taking care of yourselves!!!!1 shoutout to the lovely @eggyrocks ! i made a cheeky reference to their smau maneater (the dj and bouncer enemies to lovers) ITS SO GOOD PLEASE CHECK IT OUT !! THANK YOU FOR READING!!! THEY'RE FINALLY TOGETHER!!!! HAPPY EVER AFTER!!!!!!

[mollyrolls]

MOLLY CONGRATS ON 500 BILLION WHAT THE HECK !!!! so deserved youre so talented!!! i sprinted to ur inbox the second i read u were writing for sakusa…..

could i possibly request sakusa, left for dead, wanted sign, & canyons !!!!!!! waves empty cup in your face LOVE YOU !!!

here in LONESOME TOWN... @jadeoru and @nectardaddy are

✪ tied between a rock and a hard place

tags: sakusa x fem!reader (only gendered terms (darling, etc) but tagged fem just to be safe), enemies to lovers, gunslinger, "left for dead"

warnings: animal death, guns, knives, threats, fear, uhhh something else im sure

an: requests are scary. i hope u guys enjoy i have no idea if this is up to standard or not. also, since jade and dodger requested pretty much the same thing this will be a two parter hopefully out tmrw

wc: 1098

mlist. ✪ event mlist.

You probably should’ve known better. 

Normally, there’s no harm in having a drink with a stranger in town, most of them just passing by for the night until they continue on their way out west. It’s a way to get free drink, and they’re normally harmless.

But, just your luck you suppose, these fools weren’t so harmless.

You’re currently struggling against the restraints, willing the bite of the rope to lessen just a bit to return the circulation that’s quickly fleeing you. 

The attempt is to no avail, but that doesn’t stop you from trying. The sick fucks that took you knew what they were doing. 

You’re stranded out in the middle of the canyon, but in an cave that echoes your cries for help back to you. Ropes tied not only around your wrists and legs, but your torso is taut against the rock behind you. Not to mention the nasty bump on the back of your head that continues to swell from where they took you out. 

You know the coyotes are coming soon. The air stills but the energy begins to rustle as the deep reds of the sun finally dip beyond the horizon. 

As the final moments of light leave you, the struggling returns with an intensity you’ve never known before. Trying anything at this point, you feel around for something you can use.

Right as your fingertips graze a rock you might be able to use as a knife, you hear the scraping of something across the ground.

There’s a small part of you that hopes that someone managed to find you, that coming around the corner would be your savior. A larger part thinks that your captors have come back to finish the job, too greedy to leave the satisfaction to anyone else.

The largest part is the one that comes to pass, as you look up to see dark eyes blinking up at you. There’s a deep growl from the back of the coyotes throat as it sizes you up, waiting to see who makes the first move. 

Trying desperately to remember if you’re supposed to get loud or back away quietly for an aggressive coyote, the animal begins to stalk toward you. 

Taking your chances with the former, you begin to make as much noise as possible. Kicking the lump of your legs against the ground and yelling at it to ‘get on’, the coyote begins to tuck tail. Right as it’s about to turn, it suddenly drops to the floor as you hear a clear gunshot sounding through the night.

Your heart drops to your stomach, thinking surely that your captors have returned. You know it’s a human this time, and there’s no way anyone could have tracked you out here. 

Scrambling again for the stone you found earlier, you fervently begin to scratch at the ropes, praying to all that is holy that you can escape unharmed.

The entry to the cave suddenly gets covered, a large mysterious figure blacking out everything behind him.

You can’t help the gulp you take, finally resigning yourself to the scariest demise you could’ve ever imagined.

The stranger tosses the bottom of his coat back, sliding what you assume to be his pistol back into his holster. He stalks toward you, not too unlike the coyote moments before. His steps are slow, calculated, almost reserved. It sets you on edge.

“Listen stranger, I don’t know what you want from me but I’m beggin’ you to leave me be.”

As you speak, the man’s steps falter. He adjusts to the side, letting a bit of the moonlight pour into the space. With just that amount of light, you’re able to make out the dark mess of curls under his hat, and the broadness of his shoulders becomes more identifiable.

“You’ve got to be fuckin’ kidding me.”

Sakusa looks down at you, barely suppressing a smirk.

“I would be nicer with your words darlin’, unless you want me to just leave you here.”

Suddenly, you think the coyote was a much better option. Anything would be better than being in a debt to Sakusa Kiyoomi.

"You can do just that. I've been fine on my own, I don't need any rescuing from the likes of you."

The venom lacing your words rolls off him in waves, looking no more bothered by them than an unpleasant chill in the air.

He hums in consideration, one of his more irritating traits. Trying to take your mind off it, you avert your gaze to continue sawing at the ropes binding your hands.

"That's not going to do anything. You'll just tire yourself out."

He doesn't make any effort to move though, opting to just stand there and watch you with distant humor.

You drop the stone in frustration, unwillingly admitting to yourself he had a point. "Can you leave? I don't want your help, but I don't need your heckling either."

"No. 'Wasn't doing anything better with my time. Situation seems fine to me."

Sakusa emphasizes his point by grounding his heels into the dirt, sturdy in place as he towers over you.

The two of you stay there, eyes locked in bitter anger. Neither of you willing to be the one to look away. 

After what feels like ages of pure torture, he breaks the silence. “Just ask.”

“Ask what?”

He shrugs. “To untie you.”

The position your arms are in has been getting uncomfortable, shoulders twisted in a way they should not have been. Is the pain enough to win out over your humiliation in getting his help?

“Fine. Can you untie me?”

He moves forward without hesitation, walking around you to crouch behind the rock. 

“You have a knife?”

“Why would I have a knife? If I did, don’t you think I would’ve gotten out of here already?”

He stays silent, not buying it.

You hate how well he remembers you.

You have to gesture with both your legs, but you haphazardly kick to your left. “It’s in my saddle bag. Probably in that corner.”

As he walks over, you actively fight the urge to size him up, see how much his stature has changed. It’s futile.

He kicks around in the dark of the cave before finding your bag. He unbuckles the straps, before sliding his hand inside to find it. 

You open your mouth to tell him where it is, but he draws it out before a sound can even pass your lips. 

“Kept it hidden. Attagirl.”

“Don’t call me that, you bastard.”

He only grins to himself as he returns to his spot behind you, finally cutting you free.

to be continued...

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[bby-bo]

When the Boss Comes Knocking pt. 2

the love on part one has been so wild ❤️ thank you guys sm for reading, I hope this drags you on an even wilder emotional rollercoaster than last time 🤠🤠

I sure as fuck have no proper explanation for my actions here, brace yourselves.

Summary: Sakusa knows he screwed up, but he’s quick to get on his knees to work for your forgiveness.

Warnings: solid combo of angst, fluff, and smut, reader is all over the place, Sakusa eating p*ssy 🫶🏼

“Always Yours, Kiyoomi”

The note had sat on your desk for 3 days, staring you down with the heat of hell tucked into the ink scratched on the paper.  It was Friday, the day the Sakusa Group was to officially purchase the small publishing house you wrote for, but the man himself had yet to show up since your last encounter.  

3 painfully slow days of no contact or sign of Sakusa had felt like 3 years, and you couldn’t help but feel angry. Angry that he thought he could come back into your life at his own convenience, with no explanation of his leaving for so long. Upset that you wanted him to come back. Pissed at yourself for letting him treat you like this. 

The back and forth in your own brain was clouded by the memories of him, one hand on your throat and one in your hair, pulling you in. The look of satisfaction on his face when you finally called him by his first name again. The sweet bliss of his deep voice directed at you. It was inescapable even on your morning commute to work. 

Opening the door to the lobby, you greeted Josie as always. 

“Morning Josie”

“Oh good morning! There was a message left for you, actually. Mr. Sakusa’s secretary called and mentioned setting up a lunch meeting today around 1 pm.” 

Surprise and irritation shot through the fog in your brain. He couldn’t even call you himself?? His behavior was getting ridiculous, and at this point you were going to completely miss the next 4 deadlines for the book you were working on if this distraction kept up.

“What?! Don’t respond please, I’ll just eat lunch here like usual” A guilty blush immediately spread across her face and you just dreaded whatever she was about to say.

“Um… I already scheduled it. Sorry! It felt like maybe you guys got along last time since you spoke for so long in your office and I thought maybe it would be a good idea to-”

“What??? Josie NO!” Complete horror washed across you like an ice bath, and you immediately realized that you were not dressed for a CEO level lunch date. 

“I’m sorry to spring it on you like this. But hey, at least he’s sending a car to bring you, right?” She finished her sentence with a bright smile, totally not understanding why this was the absolute worst thing in the world. 

You gave her a fake laugh and a smile, trying not to be too mean to her in your mind before heading straight into your office and slumping into the seat. 

“Always Yours, Kiyoomi”

The note stared back at you, and you narrowed your eyes at his name. Fuck. Off. Sakusa. If he wanted to play this game, you certainly weren’t going to make it easy on him. 

You had no time to let the regrets from your last encounter stew when time was not on your side today.  Stealing your nerves, you got to thinking of all the things you’ve been wanting to say to him, all the things you’ve been dying to ask.  But time raced against you, and when Josie knocked on your office door it felt as though no time had passed at all. You were still just as nervous as before, but an unfamiliar man in a suit followed behind Josie, ready to take you to your demise- a.k.a the Sakusa Group headquarters. 

It was 45 steps from your office to the car, 30 minutes in the car between offices, and now only 10 steps from the car into the massive lobby of the tower where the beast resided.  Someone greeted you straight away, and escorted you all the way to Sakusa’s door.

Shit. Shitshitshitshit. Your mind and heart were racing, but you took in a deep breath and reminded yourself to resist his efforts to win you over. Yea right, resist the irresistible. Great plan.

The door opened, and there he was. Goddamn this was going to be more difficult than you thought. 

Sakusa’s deep voice rang out, smooth and rich like dark chocolate. His usual black button down and slacks made him the picture of all your work romance fantasies- not that you were thinking of anything like that. Certainly not.

“Thank you George, you may go.” Your escort bowed in respect, and closed the door on his way out. Sakusa said nothing, just smirked as he stood and walked toward the door, and locked it. 

You stood frozen, feeling the heat of his chest warming your back. A large hand brushed your hair away from your face on one side, exposing your neck as Sakusa planted a soft kiss beneath the corner of your jaw, letting his breath tickle over your skin. You could just feel the smirk widening across his face. But as much as your knees were already growing weak, your anger refused to be forgotten this time. 

Your figure’s sharp turn cut his growing smile off into a small frown, those dark brows furrowing slightly.

“Stop that. You owe me an explanation and I won’t let you near me until I get it.” Your voice was shaky, but you got your words out clearly. 

Sakusa just closed the space between you again, towering over you with slight irritation on his face. This was obviously not how he expected this meeting to go. 

“What is with these horrible greetings each time we meet? I’ll teach you this lesson as many times as I need to-”

“YOU were the one who told me not to call you Kiyoomi all those years ago, so don’t gimme that bullshit!! You don’t get to break up with me, be a total dick during our last conversation, disappear with no contact then return into my life like nothing happened years later! There is absolutely no way I can accept anything you offer me when you have completely shattered the very foundation of our relationship, Sakusa!”

The pent up energy, anxiety and ire that had slowly been collecting in your heart and mind this week was at its boiling point, finally spilling over as angry tears gathered in your eyes, your finger jabbing into his chest. 

His demeanor changed entirely as he listened to your rant, and a serious look crept over his face, but he made no move to interrupt you. Even now, when you were so worked up that you couldn’t see straight, you couldn’t decide if you wanted to push him away or wanted to cry into his arms. He let you finish before speaking. 

“So this is how you’ve been feeling. Come here, sweetheart.” 

Simple acknowledgement was all it took for your tears to fall, and strong arms gave you comfort as he tucked your head beneath his chin. His fingers stroked your hair, and that damn cologne filled your senses as you tried to contain your emotions.

He brought his palms to your cheeks, thumbs brushing away the salty tears beneath your eyes as his gaze softened into something you’ve missed so desperately since high school. His tone was serious but gentle as he spoke his next words.

“I know you’re angry, yes?” You nodded aggressively, refusing to meet his eyes.

“I hear you. I want you to look at me sweetheart, tell me how I can make it up to you. What can I do to fix this?” 

“I don’t know if this can be fixed Sakusa, I thought you just walked off and forgot about me after high school and I-”

“You couldn’t be more wrong.”

“If I’m wrong then prove it! Some explanation, anything is better than the nothing you left me with!”

Sakusa let out a heavy sign before pushing his hands into the roots of your hair, and kissing your forehead. He took your hand, fingers intertwined with yours as you swiped at the last of your tears. 

“It doesn’t excuse the way that I’ve treated you, and I sure as fuck am not proud of it but I can give you an explanation. Let’s sit while we talk, yeah?”

You followed him into a connecting room, a dining room of sorts, complete with cushioned seats and a glass coffee table. Sakusa settled in a seat next to yours and turned to set his serious gaze on you, so you might understand his sincerity.

His chest expanded as he took a deep breath, and released it slow.

“My family has always been demanding, and I knew their wish for me was to take over the Sakusa Group as early as possible. But I was young and dumb, and I didn’t have the confidence that I could actually do it. I know it’s no excuse for leaving you like that, but I was scared to fail. Disappointing you was something I couldn’t handle, and I wanted to prove to myself that I could become someone worthy of taking care of you one day. So I made sure to cut ties and cut them sharp so that if I did fail, you would hopefully never find out.”

This… this was not what you expected. Had he always been so concerned with your judgment of him? Why did he not let you support him? You had every confidence in your Kiyoomi back then, and you had always tried your best to show that, so why..? Did you not tell him enough? How could you ever possibly be disappointed in him?

“I didn’t forget what I said to you back then. I’m sorry I was so selfish, sweetheart.”

Tears threatened to spill over again, and you pressed the heels of your palms into your eyes. There was a soft shuffling sound and the scraping of a chair across the hardwood, and when Sakusa tugged your wrists from your face he was kneeling before you. Still tall enough on his knees to be nearly eye level with you. 

“Don’t cry baby, look at me.” His fingers tucked beneath your chin, raising your head slightly. 

“Tell me what I wanna hear. Come on love” You knew what he wanted immediately. 

“Kiyoomi” Your voice was just above a whisper, but enough understanding was translated in that one word. Not quite forgiveness, but understanding. 

This had always been a thing between you two, even in high school. When first names were used after an argument, you could both recognize that things were back on the right path. So it wasn’t quite forgiveness, but it was a step. 

“Again.” But he was still just as greedy as ever. Gripping your chin a bit tighter, he brought his face right up to your neck and softly nipped at the skin on your jaw, tongue laving over the skin to sooth it.

“Kiyoomi”

“That’s my girl. Now, how should I make it up to you, hm?” His hands gripped your thighs just above your knees, squeezing into the flesh.

The tone of his voice switched, dripping with honey and saturating your mind with memories of twisted sheets and bated breaths. 

“I think I know just where to start” Shit, that voice. You were sure it would be the death of you one day, but right now, it was your lifeline. 

One of his thumbs hooked under the hem of your dress, baring one thigh ever so slowly, as his other hand guided your fingers into his hair. His gaze held yours as he began to kiss and bite a trail upwards following the exposed skin. 

If there was one thing your romance readers raved about, it was the smut that some of your books contained. But you could hardly claim any credit when your inspiration for those scenes came from Kiyoomi. The Kiyoomi who loved seeing you flustered and blushing beneath him, hand around your throat and embarrassment crawling up your cheeks. Loved seeing tears of overstimulation roll down so he could lick them away. That was this Kiyoomi, the one that knelt before you now.  

A hard bite on the inside of your thigh brought you back down to earth, a yelp of surprise escaping as your eyes snapped open.

“Be a good girl and keep your eyes on me.” You nodded as you tried to catch your breath, small bits of air coming out in light pants. 

Pushing your dress all the way around your waist, Kiyoomi gripped your ass roughly with both hands and tugged your body to the edge of your seat, legs thrown over his broad shoulders. His eyes closed as he turned to bury his face into the thickness of one of your thighs, fingers dipping into the waistline of your panties. He watched completely enamored as he pulled them off your body, the evident wet spot sticking to the source of your arousal. 

In one quick movement, he sat back on his heels and rid you of your panties entirely before settling back in on his knees. Two thick fingers swiped at your slit, gathering the stickiness there and bringing it to your mouth. 

“Open.” You did as he asked without hesitation, and you could taste the saltiness on the pads of his fingers as he pressed down on your tongue. But you knew better than to wrap your lips around his fingers- knew to wait for instruction. His smirk returned in full as he realized you hadn’t forgotten his rules.

“Suck.” 

His grip around your thigh tightened as you obeyed. Taking his fingers from your mouth, he pressed them back at your entrance, teasing you up and down as he finally, finally, brought his mouth to your clit. His tongue circled the nerves as he watched your eyes roll back, your mouth open just slightly. 

Now Kiyoomi was never a religious man, but he would’ve prayed to any god to never forget this sight. Legs open for him, pretty face silently begging him to touch you. He wanted it permanently imprinted in his memory, wanted it to be the only thing he saw every time he closed his eyes. His control snapped.

Fingers plunged forward into you and Kiyoomi was lost in your tight heat as he set a quick pace, teeth tugging lightly on your clit before circling it with his tongue over and over again. He still knew your body so well even after so much time had passed, and he knew exactly how to drive you over the edge. 

“O-omi” 

“Hm?” He refused to pull his face away from your sweet pussy, humming against you in response, sending light vibrations that tickled up your spine.

“G-gonna cum Omi” His fingers curled upward and hit that spongy spot, as he pulled his mouth away for just a moment to respond. He pressed a thick forearm down across your hips, not letting you escape.

“Go on baby, cum in my mouth. Wanna taste you” 

Kiyoomi shoved his tongue inside you, nose buried right up against that sensitive bundle of nerves as he reached up to fill your mouth with the fingers that had previously been fucking in and out of you. His other fingers gripped your jaw roughly as he pressed down on your tongue, sliding them further and further back into your wet mouth. Tears gathered in the corners of your eyes, doing your best to take what he gave you without gagging.

The release that spread over you had you crying out around his fingers, legs shuddering on his shoulders as his forearm held you in place, never pulling his tongue from you until he was satisfied he had tasted every drop. 

But he only allowed you a moment to catch your breath.

Kiyoomi tugged your whole body straight off the chair, pulling your thighs to sit over his where he knelt.  He secured his arms around you and slotted his mouth against your lips, tongue slipping against yours to let you taste yourself on him. Crushing you against his chest, he let out a low groan and let a large palm tangle into your hair, tugging it slightly. 

“Always been Omi’s favorite girl, you know that? Missed you so much sweetheart. Promise I won’t leave you again. Ever. And I’m so sorry I upset you my love” 

And as he pressed his forehead against yours, you realized the signature on his note had always been true, more so than you realized. 

“Always Yours, Kiyoomi”

[heich0e]

"That the last one?"

Kiyoomi slumps down torpidly into the chair at the end of the dining room table, nodding silently in reply to the question you'd posed. He looks tired, but not weary, a satisfied exhaustion making his eyes flutter as he rakes a hand through his curls.

"You didn't have to walk every single one of them out," you tease him, turning the music off that had been playing through the speakers in your home and setting your cellphone down on the edge of the table as you step towards him.

"They were my guests," Kiyoomi murmurs, his breath hitching ever so slightly as you sneak behind him and knead your thumbs into the muscle at the base of his neck, just above his shoulder blades. He sighs, his entire body slackening as you work the tips of your fingers into the knot beneath his skin, feeling it slowly begin to unfurl under your careful ministrations.

"I'm pretty sure the Miya twins know their way out by now," you remark, laughing lightly, knowing that the two brothers have stumbled out of your front door on their own two feet and own cognizance on more than enough occasions to merit taking on the task without a guide.

Kiyoomi tips his head back so he can look up at you, a little pout dragging down his bottom lip. "It's polite."

You smile, sneaking your hands up over his shoulders so that your palms can glide gently along the front of his shirt. As you dip down towards him, his eyes never stray from yours, even as you grow nearer.

Softly, you hum. "You're right. But you're also the birthday boy."

Kiyoomi's lashes flutter, and you see the way his gaze lowers to your lips just for a moment. You tilt your face towards his until your lips brush, the ghost of the kiss you know he really wants, a whisper in place of a scream. All too quickly, you pull away, and Kiyoomi groans as you step towards the opposite end of the table again.

"Did you have fun?" you ask him, plucking one of the last few unopened bottles of wine from the collection at the end of the table, and then two clean glasses to accompany it. Kiyoomi watches raptly as you make quick work of popping the cork, and then the slow trickle as you fill both glasses with a healthy pour.

"I did," Kiyoomi agrees quietly, his eyes trained to the steady flow of red wine from the bottle in your hands to the waiting glass below. A few years ago no one would have ever imagined that Kiyoomi would concur to a similar sentiment in this way. Just hours ago this home–his home, your home–had been filled to the brim, near bursting, with people. Every single one of them present to celebrate him. His friends. His family. You. But neither the crowd nor the invasion of his personal space that night were enough to unsettle him. Not even the mess that had been left behind seemed to dampen his spirits.

You smile to yourself as you realize it: realize just how much has changed in what feels like so little time. You love Kiyoomi now as much as you loved Kiyoomi then–the one who never would have allowed so many people to infiltrate his carefully guarded sanctuary, the one who scarcely let enough people close to him to fill a sofa let alone a home.

You turn to look at him, and aren't surprised to find him watching you again. You can't remember a time when you've searched for Kiyoomi's eyes in a room–whether crowded, empty, or somewhere in-between–and not found them already staring back at you. That's one thing that hasn't changed, and you're endlessly thankful for it.

You bring Kiyoomi his wine, setting the thin-stemmed glass in front of him as you lean against the edge of the table at his side. He watches as lift your own up to your lips, taking a sip, and his hand reaches to caress the warm skin of your thigh where the hem of your dress rests.

"You look pretty," he says quietly.

"Thank you, Kiyo," you reply, the same way you have each time he's told you the same thing that night.

"This is my favourite colour," he continues, pinching the hem of your dress delicately between his thumb and his pointer finger. You already know that too, of course, but hearing him say it still makes you feel good.

"That's why I wore it," your voice is breathy when you reply, your tongue peeking out to moisten your lips. You taste the wine that lingers on them as you do. "But I'm glad you like it."

Kiyoomi is still fiddling with the edge of fabric, his eyes glued to the skin that he reveals beneath it the further he eases the material up. He hasn't touched his wine, but his skin has begun to stain high along his cheeks not dissimilarly to the merlot waiting for his attention in his glass.

Finally he sighs, letting the hem slip from his fingertips, leaning forward and resting his cheek against your abdomen. Your fingers thread through his curls like second nature, holding him against you as the soft ringlets tickle the sensitive skin between your knuckles.

"Are you tired?" you ask him, though you're sure you already know.

He hums, nuzzling against you a bit more. Social events like this one do still take a lot out of him, regardless of the fact that he’s enjoyed himself. They make him a little needier–a little clingier–but you don't find that you mind it at all.

Kiyoomi pulls away after a few more moments of your comfort, reaching out for his neglected glass. He lifts it to his mouth, and as he swallows down a mouthful of the wine he finally lets his eyes sweep along his surroundings for the first time. You watch as his gaze traces the room while he swallows, admiring the delicate bob of his throat, and then he looks up at you again.

"There's a lot to clean up," he says, setting his glass back down atop the table. There's a drop of red wine clinging to the edge of his mouth, and you reach for him on sheer instinct, cupping his warm cheek in your hand and dragging your thumb along his lip to clean it off. Kiyoomi stares, inky eyes blown-wide and completely captivated, as you lift the digit up to your own mouth and lick it clean.

You can't help but smirk a little at how completely transparent his expression is to you now. How plainly you can see what he's thinking behind those ever-watching eyes.

"It's still your day, you know, birthday boy," you say to him, reaching behind you on the table until your fingers brush the unmistakable shape of the bottle of wine. You drag it towards you by the neck, the glass rumbling as it slides across the tabletop. As you lift it up, the bottle swings precariously in your grip. "That means you're allowed to make a mess."

Kiyoomi swallows, only this time theres no wine in his mouth. He reaches up and catches the base of the bottle as it sways idly before him, and you let him take it from your hand into his own. His eyes trail back to your dress–your pretty dress, his favourite colour dress–and yet again, you know exactly what the man in front of you is thinking, without him having to say a single word.

You and your dress would look even prettier in red.

[kiyoobi]

kiyoomi sakusa takes care of you when you have a migraine

-(-)-

Having migraines for YEARS, ever since you were a kid, you’ve had the pain of being shut inside a dark room hoping you’d pass out soon. So you’ve gotten used to them by now. it starts out with your vision blurring, the lights around you slowly being more and more annoying. Then the familiar dull ache behind your eyes, followed by the nausea, and so on. You’re used to it. Sometimes you wake up with a headache, ready to form into a raging migraine if you don’t reach for those pills to ease the pain.

Sakusa knows this, but it doesn’t stop him from feeling that ache in his chest when you slip on your sunglasses with a weak smile. He can’t stop the twinge of annoyance when he sees someone give you a strange look for wearing those glasses inside, he stops himself from glaring at the baby screaming not too far away. When you both are finally home, finally away from overstimulation the world brutally gave to you, he quickly flicks all of the lights off.

“‘M sorry Omi, I know you wanted to go to that new restaurant tonight-” You start to apologize, your hand massaging your temple even though it doesn’t ease the pain.

“-It’s okay. It isn’t your fault,” he softly interrupts your apology, his heart aching when he sees you slump onto the couch. He watches the way your body curls into itself, how your hands gently caress your head. Seeing you this way, he doesn’t hesitate to put down his things and make his way into the medicine cabinet.

Sakusa remembers, though, how you refused lunch early. The migraine had, by that point, been in full swing and you couldn’t even stand the smell of food. You can’t take this medicine without eating, and he knows you will because you’ve done it before much to his disdain. As quietly as he can, he takes out the emergency crackers and ginger ale. Sakusa winces at the crack of the can opening, but a quick glance at your figure reassures him. He pours the can into a glass and sets it on top of the coaster within your reach, and gently taps your hand so he can feed you a cracker. Your amused chuckle warms his chest, even in your worst pain you manage to smile. In fact, you’ve been making jokes all day despite being in this unbearable pain.

What do you want to eat?” He asks, rubbing your forehead as you nibble on the cracker.

“Ugh, I don’t even wanna think about eating.” You close your eyes and groan, but the sound of your stomach loudly rumbling says otherwise.

“Right,” Sakusa rolls his eyes playfully, “Are dumplings and rice okay?”

“Since when do you know how to make dumplings?” You tease. You risk opening an eye, and despite the room not being as dark as you’d like, you can’t help it when your heart swells at the sight of your boyfriend. His eyebrows are furrowed, his dark curls frizzing from the amount of times he’s run his hands through them (most likely because he’s worried about you). It doesn’t matter how many times you tell him that it’s okay, you’re used to this, you’ll be fine, he still doesn’t stop fretting over you. With his cheeks tinged pink from being called out, he throws your a playful glare and kisses your forehead.

“Don’t be a smartass,” His lips are warm against your hot skin, and he frowns. “Do you want some ice while I cook?”

“Yes please,” you say. For the first time your voice finally gives in, and you can’t help it with a painful moan slips through you. He nods and makes a quick dive into your freezer, hoping there’s even ice to offer you.

Every so often, Sakusa glances at your figure. You look beautiful, even though you would immediately reject this thought, you do. His eyes soften when he sees the curve of your wrist, your fingers gingerly holding the ice to your forehead. It requires effort to pull his gaze away from you and back onto his cooking, but a small smile plays on his lips when he thinks of you. Kiyoomi silently prays that the smells aren’t too much for you, knowing that even if they were you wouldn’t say so.

It breaks his heart having to pull you upright, but you reject his apologizes. You lean into his body, grateful that he brought you a fork instead of chopsticks because you just don’t have the energy for it. He notices the TV is on, which at first used to surprise him, but once you explained you need a distraction or else all you can focus on is the pain, he doesn’t question you. Unfortunately, you’re not in the mood to continue the series you both have been entranced by lately. Instead, he watches you watch the bakers onscreen explain their pastries to Paul Hollywood. The light gently dances across your face, and he watches amused at how despite you barely able to keep your eyes open you still can’t stop watching.

Sakusa knows he’s staring, he just doesn’t care. You don’t eat everything on the plate, which he knew would happen, so he accepts the plate from your hand and takes the fork from you. If someone would’ve told him a year ago that he would eat from the same plate and eating utensil that another person had used, he would’ve looked at them stupidly and ask if they even knew him. It’s funny, it truly is, because yeah sometimes he gets grossed out if he thinks too much about it, but when it comes to you.. he knows you’re clean. Not just in a physical sense (although he admits you’re incredibly messy at times), but in your soul too. Everything about you is pure (even the dirty jokes and the shameless flirting you throw at him) It’s cheesy, he knows. On those early morning jogs, all he thinks of is you. He thinks of your bed head, the stretch of your body, the way you pay careful attention to ridiculous little habits and repeat them yourself (he can do without the incessant teasing though sometimes). Sakusa, is completely enamored with you.

It’s the only reason why he can eat from the same fork you just had in your mouth just now. Gently he puts the empty plate down, and pulls your head into his lap. From there, he can see you better now. Your eyes flutter shut when you feel him place the ice back onto your forehead, while the other gently strokes your cheek. Ever so often he moves the ice pack to the back of your neck, because he knows that you feel pain from there too. He knows it all, he has to, because how else will he show the same careful attention and love that you show for him?

“I’m gonna close my eyes, okay?”

“I know,” Sakusa smiles.

“I’m telling you this because I’m not gonna take a nap, Omi.” You say, still stubborn as ever. “Just tell me what’s going on, I don’t remember who gets Star Baker.”

“Are you sure? Last week you called my voice annoying-“ His body shakes from laughing, as quietly as he can, feeling the way you jab his side. “Anything for you, love.”

You did fall asleep though. Sakusa tries to engrave this moment into his heart, because even with the TV on the lowest setting and the ice pack melting on the table, he feels the intimacy and romance in this setting. His fingers still gently trace your features, the curve of your jaw and cheekbones, your soft lips. His eyes flicker to your shared bedroom, knowing that his jacket is carefully put away in the closet. Knowing that inside, is the very ring he found on your pinterest that you saved many many times. Your hands grip onto him, pulling his eyes back onto you. Whatever you’re dreaming about, you’re holding onto him tightly.

He debates on whether or not of asking you the question when you wake up. Knowing you, you’d feel bad that you had him cancel the reservations because of your cursed migraine. Sakusa smirks, imagining the way you’d scold him for canceling his romantic gesture. He doesn’t care, all he wants is to be there for you. Through sickness and in health.

-(-)-

a/n: i wrote this almost two years ago, and it started my journey. i wanted to repost and share again :) im not going to edit since i want to keep it as original as possible. this is dedicated to the moots i met through my writings

[marcia-11111]

Kinktober (2/10): Shameless. Sakusa x you

MINOR DNI

The reader is gender-neutral, however they have a vagina. Everyone is aged up to 21+ years old.

It is my first time writing smut, so any feedback would be nice 😊

All "Haikyuu" characters belong to the authors of the manga and anime "Haikyuu"

Please don't translate, plagiarise nor use my works on other social media platforms, etc.

------------------------------------------

It was filthy. He could even describe it as repulsive. Sakusa considered the desire he had for you and your beautiful body a weakness—something that could expose him to the external world he would like to avoid, especially the paparazzi, who did not have an issue with invading the poor outside hitter’s life. The infamous ‘light, camera, action’. 

Everything started with a rumor about you and Sakusa dating. It was back then when you accidentally bumped into him, and he told you to have been more cautious. He had not known even your name, and you heard only the rumors about the cold and distant spiker of Black Jackals. 

Since that day you dreamed about each other, how would your bodies blend together? You had wondered about his muscular silhouette on top of you, his manhood pounding into you relentlessly. The rumors did not help either. Fans shipped and edited both of you, not knowing for how long you masturbated to each other. It was shameless, but felt so good… Both of you were not able to tell what would have emerged from that. 

But everything he valued ended with the fact that you, the object of his desire, were an actress. A popular one on top of it. He needed you more than he wanted. It had been a secret for such a long time. The hidden kisses, short glances, and passionate nights in small spaces—everything made this affair more thrilling. The distance between you got even larger when you were outside; only sheets remembered the tiny “I love you’s” and the sounds of pleasure. Even though both of you wanted to give in fully to your primal desires, your consciousnesses did not grant you access to fulfilling those cravings. Until one day... 

The tension between you was too high, causing him to take you to his hotel room. Therefore, you had to take care of each other's needs at a hotel. The shame was due to the fact that Sakusa wanted you more than his mindset allowed him to believe. Just why? Why you out of all the people?

“Shh, baby, do not let a sound out,” Sakusa murmured while he kept pounding your tight cunt. You struggled with holding your moans in, scratching his broad back from pleasure. You were so close but so far away at the same time. You cried out and wriggled, but he did not care about anything else but the filthy pleasure. Sakusa did not know what turned him into someone, but rather something so filthy. Maybe it was your pretty face and incredible body that made him insatiable and yourself tempting. 

“Kiyoo-” You wanted to cry out, but he quickly covered your mouth with his large palm. You tried to sway your body against him, so eager to moan, but the circumstances did not allow you to do so. He only sped up, causing you to choke on your tears, with him holding his other hand on your throat. 

“Shhh, baby. Let me fill you up. Shhh, we don't everyone to hear. Fuckdolls are quiet,” Sakusa replied sternly. And he started to thrust even harder. However, he did not predict what would happen in the course of the next few minutes. “My perfect slutty pussy. So tight." 

“Kiyoomi! I am close! Ahh!” Sakusa missed the fact that his hold on your throat loosened, allowing you to moan out his name. Furthermore, your pussy clenched around his large shaft while you were cumming, causing him not to know what to do. That sound seemed magical to him, prompting the muscular wing spiker to put his hands on your legs and spread them wider. He hit the spots inside your body you did not know existed, his dick caressing your cervix with each thrust.

“My perfect little slut.” He groaned while continuing to do his job. He no longer cared about people outside hearing your noises, as he pleasured both of you with his long and strong strokes. 

“Kiyoo!” You came as he ravished your tight walls. Slowly after that, he filled you up with his seed, not wanting to dirty the sheets with the “filthy liquid”. 

“If you want to be a whore, so be it.” Then he allowed you to let out loud moans and emptied his balls inside you. 

“Ahhh~Kiyoo!” You could not have stopped crying out, causing him to be proud of himself and not caring about the other people hearing you both outside. 

He continued to pound into you without mercy, wanting you to scream the loudest you could. The night was far from ending. 

[renardiererin]

do not bother kiyoomi sakusa while he's working. your distracting tactics will only work so well until he gets frustrated enough to do something about your behavior. he'll rub soft circles on your arms to make your body ease up, and he'll utter soft words into your ear to make chills line your spine. "how do you feel about being touched right now?" once he gets the confirmation he seeks, kiyoomi will lean his head closer to yours and ask if you're alright with being kissed. all it takes is a simple nod of your head and his lips are on yours. softly, at first. he'll start by moving his mouth against yours as if your lips were meant to be molded together; he'll slowly turn his head to lock his mouth perfectly in place on yours. despite how it seems from the way he starts out the encounter, it takes less than 30 seconds of his mouth being on yours before his tongue is sliding past your soft lips and making its way down your throat. he'll press his face into yours to get as close to you as he can, one hand on your waist and the other on your face while you kiss in the moonlit dark. he'll kiss you breathless until the both of you are forcing breaths through your noses and moaning into the mouths of the other. not until your back has arched up into his front, desperate for any form of contact below the waist with your beloved boyfriend kiyoomi. "you're blushing," he'll say once your lips separate, only connected by a shining string of saliva from your mouth to his while the only sounds echoing off the walls of the room are the heavy and breathless pants of the two of you. exhausted from simply kissing. "no i'm not, it's just hot in here." "i'm sure it is, sweetheart." he'll slide his hands up and down your sides, ever so slowly raising the bottom hem of your shirt to reveal your lower abdomen. he'll lick a slow stripe up your stomach and leave soft little kisses and bite marks as he works his way up your tummy. "just let me know if you want me to stop, alright?" "yes, kiyoomi." his skilled hands with use their delicate magic to lift your bra up with your shirt, revealing your breasts for only a split second before he has his lips latched onto one and is caressing the other with his hand that isn't resting on your hips. his hand slides down from your hip to your pussy, gently rubbing shapes over your clit through your shorts. a phantom smirk hides upon his lips at the whimpers leaving yours, yet all he states is: "no cumming. just in case you were thinking about it." only to earn more whines from you. "please me, love." kiyoomi sakusa can make your entire body crumble with only a few slight touches, but when you so desire you can crumble him with only a few words. his head lowers, one hand still rubbing shapes onto your clothed clitoris, and the other holding your thigh up by the back of your upper leg to get him the angles he so desires. he'll litter sloppy, open mouthed kisses down your stomach and up your thighs before placing one onto your covered clit and licking a stripe up your pussy through your pretty panties. his tongue swirls around your clitoris, tasting the fabric softener mixing with the sweet flavor of your precum. "i'm sure you would just love it if i made you feel good, wouldn't you, dear?" "yes kiyo, please." "sorry sweetheart. i've got work to do."

[poursomesunaonme]

hello my sweetest beanie. congrats on your milestone!! i love your event idea so much 💕may i request a sakusa drabble for your event?

he loves to use ‘darling’ as a pet name but also can be so sarcastic about it. which makes me think of him as the king of the meet ugly

i’m thinking “itch” as the lyrics and whatever strikes your fancy with sfw/nsfw. thank you bb 💐

GOD I OVE HIM SO MUCH TY PHON !!

cw: friends to lovers, mention of ushiten hehe, smooch, black jackals cameos

"although i'm oversaturated / know i'm earnest too / and i know i'm eager / but i can't fucking wait for the day that i finally get to kiss you"

“c’mon, c’mon.” tendo’s in the same boat as you, just rooting for the opposite team. you ignore the red-haired man’s pleas, watching intently as kiyoomi swiftly takes position as the ball makes it to the setter. it’s a perfect pass.

the ball flies straight into kiyoomi’s hand, and with a practiced ease, he lands the hit right in between the players in the back line. the entire crowd jumps up to cheer. from the corner of your eye, you see satori slump down as his boyfriend’s team loses, but you can’t console him now, not when your best friend just won one of the biggest games of his life.

you sprint down the stands, careful not to lose your balance in all the excitement. you know that he had to meet with his team first, debrief and all that, but you couldn’t wait to meet him in the spot he said that he would be after the game, win or lose. you fiddle with the hem of your shirt—a copy of his jersey that he told you to please not get because it’s embarrasing, but you did it anyway. that’s what friends are for, after all.

you hear a rowdy crowd from behind the main doors and suddenly, they burst open, revealing the tangerine head and the legendary setter. they scurry off after waving to you, knowing that you’re kiyoomi’s friend. teammate after teammate file out, but no sight of him. you begin to let out a sigh, but your breath stops as soon as he steps out as the last of his team.

his mask just hands barely underneath his nose when his eyes flit around the scene, landing on you. the corners of his eyes crinkle in a smile that’s conveniently hidden behind his mask as he walks over to you. his pace is slow, and you quickly close the distance by sprinting up to him and nearly jumping on him to give him a massive hug.

“congrats!” you all but shriek into his ear, wrapping your arms around his neck. “i’m… i’m so proud of you.”

the tops of his cheeks redden from above his mask as his eyes flicker away when he grumbles a thank you, but wraps his arms around your waist. the hug is brief, as he doesn’t enjoy too much physicality with anyone, but his hands stay on your hips when you pull back, knowing his boundaries. he looks down at you, then pulls his mask off his ear to reveal a small, proud smile.

“thank you,” he says a little louder, the adrenaline of the game still pumping through him too much for him to keep up a stoic appearance. “thanks for being here.”

“i don’t think satori would’ve let me miss the game,” you breathe, your hands still around his neck. you don’t want to let go, even if he’s sweaty. “but i wouldn’t have missed it for-”

you’re effectively interrupted by his lips crashing into yours. you make a small sound against him, but dont draw away. instead, your grips tighten on each other. everything else melts away, even his teammates turning around to see his the way your jaw hangs open to let his tongue explore your mouth.

“damn, oomi!” atsumu calls before shoyo shoves him out of the door. you pull away from each other as that, kiyoomi’s eyes shining as he looks down on you.

“let’s… let’s get dinner tonight, yeah, sweetheart?”

submissions for the promised event are now closed but you can still click here to go to the nav page

© all work belongs to poursomesunaonme. do not copy and repost.

[sukirichi]

[ DUSK ‘TILL DAWN : 013 ]

“we who bear the burden of the crown do not need to love. you only need to stay here, with me, in power, in greed, in lust – in victory.”

cw. modern royal au. infidelity. slight angst. toxic characters & toxic relationships. 18+. smut (nothing explicit.) unedited. suggestive. fluff. alcohol consumption.

notes. feedbacks / reblogs/ comments are appreciated <3 ALSO!! i am very bad at describing places (i tried my best) but just so you guys can visualize things better, i included photos of where this chapter took place at the end of the fic

wc. 12.1k

series masterlist 

[ THIRTEEN ] it hurts to be something, it’s worse to be nothing with you. i’ve done the math, there’s no solution. we’ll never last – why can’t i let go of this?

“Rin,” you stopped his hands from going any further, your fingers closed around his. He paid you no mind as he merely flicks your hands away. The top three buttons of your blouse have already been popped open, the white lace of your bra visible to his eyes. They visibly darkened with lust. Grasping his hand again, you held him tighter this time around, preventing him from exposing you to him. “Rin, please. Stop.”

Rintaro finally stopped. His fingers froze in the air, his thumb caressing the button like he’s fighting back an itch to completely rip your blouse apart. Maybe on another day, you would’ve found his hunger to be flattering. But not here, not in the middle of nowhere, and definitely not when he smelled like smoke. Not when he smelled like all the horrible things he’d gotten from her.

Cocking his brow, he leant back at the hood of his car. He stared up at you, his pretty eyes narrowed into slits.

“What? You don’t want me to touch you?”

You vehemently shook your head no. You awaited it – some sort of angry response from him. It wasn’t often you rejected his advances, but it was written crystal clear on your face: he made you uncomfortable. He found it sickening, how you looked at him like he was some vermin.

“Fine,” he spat out, rounding the vehicle as he opens his door. “Get in the car.”

“But… I can’t just leave–”

“I’ll have someone take care of it. Get. In. The. Car.”

You glance back at your car. Kuroo’s cellphone was still inside, along with your gun engraved with your family crest. If anyone were to peek inside, it wouldn’t be far to assume that you were out to kill someone. Not to mention, it was your private vehicle, not the Palace’s issued ones. Quickly, you raise a finger to Rintaro and ask him to wait, running back to your car before slipping the phone inside your pockets. In less than a minute, you’d opened the passenger’s seat and buckled the seatbelt.

The silence was painful.

There’s nothing but the smooth hum of the car’s engine, the rhythmic tapping of Rintaro’s hand against the wheel. He didn’t bother turning the radio on, and you were too lost staring at the trees whizzing by to strike up a conversation. There were too many things to ask, too many answers that demanded your attention, and so little time for it all. You wanted him to break the silence first, until sleep beat you to it. With the clock reading half an hour past four, you found yourself nodding off, shaken awake by the constant road bumps ahead.

Six am.

You straightened your back. The scenery had shifted from the dense forestry. Beside you, Rintaro looked half-awake, cracking his neck from side to side.

You watched as the gentle fingers of dawn painted the sky in hues of rose and gold. With the car travelling along the coastal road, you glanced sideways, captivated by the mesmerizing vista unfolding before your eyes. You’d seen the sea before, but never at this time – never when the sun was beginning to stretch its arms as if to embrace it. The sea, that of liquid sapphire, shimmered under the first light of day, each tiny, soft wave crested with a translucent luminescence – something both haunting and mysterious that made it hard to look away. It was deep and bewitching, like it would whisper to you the secrets of the deep if you looked close enough.

Rolling the windows down, you gazed at the horizon – right where the ocean kissed the sky, and birthed with it the symphony of color. Pastels of pink and lavender blended into a cerulean blue. The sun, a radiant gem emerging from its slumber, cast a golden path across the water and shimmered across the ripples, inviting the soul to wander its glittering trail. You felt the need to reach out to it – to skirt your fingers across the horizon, wondering if somehow the sea could drown you in its beauty and your pain could be forgotten.

As the car cruised along, your eyes remained transfixed on the sea. Drawn to its endless, vast rhythmic dance of a push and pull. The waves rolled in a timeless cadence, their gentle roar a comforting lullaby. Each surge and retreat of the water mirrored your own steady breaths – in and out – a silent meditation that made you feel as if everything was almost okay.

Through the open window, the scent of salt and the crispness of morning air filtered through. It filled the car with the essence of the sea, masking the scent of Rintaro’s stumped cigarette. For a moment, you were filled with a profound sense of peace. A moment of stillness amid the journey. The sea, with its infinite expanse and eternal ebb, seemed to hold all the answers. It wasn’t like Itachiyama whose beauty brought calmness to your soul and silenced all your fears. It was entirely a beauty of itself, one that haunted you and prodded at your bones, picking your soul apart and gently sewing back them together.

Like an unstoppable force, like watching a car crash into another – it was hard to take your eyes off of it.

“Where are you taking me?” you broke the silence after a while, choosing to keep the windows rolled down. Beside you, Rintaro spared you a quick glance before turning his eyes back to the road.

“You’ll find out when we get there.”

Nodding, you propped your chin onto your arm. Now that you were awake, the events from the past few hours finally caught up to you. The meeting with Kuroo, Atsumu’s sex tape, being chased by Rintaro, and your call not reaching Kiyoomi – Kiyoomi. Gods. He must be so worried. But your phone’s battery died long ago, and there was a bigger matter at hand – Rintaro’s accusation, and the way he’d hid his hurt with a smirk.

It was a side of him you’d never seen before.

Sure, he’d been angry when you did anything that concerned Iris, or when you left for Itachiyama after his displeasure about it. But this time, he looked more hurt than angry, as if he couldn’t believe you would go so far.

You rolled the windows up. The sounds of the humming of the car and the breeze slipping through muted.

“Rin,” you mumbled, toying with your fingers in your lap. “I didn’t try to kill you, you know.”

Your husband snorted. “Oh, you didn’t? Could’ve fooled me. It’s not every day you see your wife’s new maid slipping something in my drink, but if you truly did not have anything to do with it, then I guess it’s safe to assume your maid is out to assassinate me,” grip tightening on the wheel, he forced himself to exhale through his nose. “Do you deny this?”

“Airi has nothing to do with this.”

“Do enlighten me, then, because I don’t know what to think of you anymore,” he gritted his teeth, and you were shocked into silence. It was quite the confession coming from him. “I have made mistakes. Many of them. I have hurt you, again and again, but do you really wish to end my life?” he shot you a look, only to turn his head away – staring out into the sea before you. You wondered if it’s because he couldn’t stand to look at you, or he didn’t want you to see whatever might show in his face.

“I didn’t think you could be so cruel, Princess.”

Your face fell, the light in your eyes dimming as his words sunk in. “I told her to crush some sleeping pills in your tea so I could sneak out without you noticing. I wasn’t trying to ‘kill’ you.”

“And where would you go without me? A lady like you should never leave the castle premises unsupervised,” he reminded, the edges of his lips curling into a dissatisfied smile. “Unless you don’t want me knowing who it is you’re meeting.”

Sighing, you let your head drop to your hands. “Enough with the accusations, Rin. How many times do I have to tell you I have never cheated on you?” you rolled your eyes at him, your arms crossed to your chest, irked. “If you really must know, I met up with Kuroo Tetsurou – yes, the man who wrote that article about your tryst and ruined your reputation. You know what I did? I paid him to disappear from this country, and to completely erase any traces of what he’d written. I did it for you. I did it because I no longer want to see you suffering from the hands of another, so don’t you dare go around treating me like I’m your enemy, because at the end of it all, I’m the only one on your side. Do you understand?”

It was a half lie, but a white lie in your defense. The end would justify the means. Rintaro didn’t have to know the whole truth, not when there was a chance he’d ruin your plans. He only needed to let his guard down, to completely trust you on this because that last part you would not lie about.

He could hurt you – take your heart and crush it until there was nothing left. But it would not change the fact that you were his wife, and he your husband. It wouldn’t change the fact you were bound by vows you’d spoken in front of Her Majesty, in front of the Gods they worshipped in a sacred chapel. You would never, and could never, go as far as to make Rintaro detestable in the eyes of others. He was yours to hate and love. No one else could take that right away from you. He simply wasn’t for the world to pick apart.

Silence clouds the car. With a quick glance, you saw his grip loosening on the steering wheel, his shoulders visibly relaxing as his brows pinched together. “You did that… for me?”

You scoffed. “You have no idea the things I would do for you.”

“Then why keep it a secret from me? I would’ve gone with you. I could’ve sorted it out myself.”

“You couldn’t. You’ve barely been touching any of your work ever since the scandal happened,” you pointed out, holding your hand up to flash him your ring – the one you never dared took off, not even in the shower, and especially not when Kiyoomi had been nudging his way into your heart. “I’m your wife. I promised to share the burden of the crown with you. If a time comes that you’re unable to handle the troubles coming your way, then I will step in and do it for you.”

Rintaro blinked rapidly, as if clearing away the images that troubled him. “I’m sorry,” he finally said, “I’m just… You said you hated me, and that you regretted marrying me. So when I saw Airi mess with my tea, I immediately thought you wanted me out of your life.”

You looked out the window. Pursing your lips, you couldn’t help but think to yourself – if only it were that easy.

“You’re my husband. I would be devastated if you died.”

Rintaro drove around for a few more minutes before finally arriving in a gated community. Although community was a stretch, considering there were no other houses around. Not a single person could be seen. The entire beach was closed off from that point on. He wouldn’t answer any of your questions either, simply smiling to himself as he drove past a grove of trees until you broke through – the sounds of the waves audible and muted, as if they were from a distance. Before you stood a large white mansion, hidden by the tall trees, but peeking just enough to be highlighted by the golden dawn.

“We’re here,” Rintaro announced, bouncing out of his seat to run around your side and open the door for you. You couldn’t help but snicker at his sudden chivalry. Nevertheless, you slipped your hand into his, following him as he led you to the pebbled walkway leading up into the house. “I bought this beach for us.”

“Rin, you can’t do that. The beaches should be open to the public.”

Rintaro squeezed your hand. There was a lightness to his step, almost as if he was floating through air – or maybe your reassurance had simply made his body feel lighter. “Indulge me a little, wife. Let me show you around first, and if you really don’t like it… then I’ll put it up for sale, okay?”

You couldn’t argue with that. It was hard to, anyway, when he struggled to open the doors as he refused to let go of your hand. After fumbling for the keys, he finally got them in and pushed the doors open.

You could see much from where you stood. At the break of dawn, the sun’s first golden rays began to dance across the tranquil surface of the sea, casting a gentle, shimmering glow that greeted the grand beach house with a tender embrace.

The luxurious abode, with its elegant arches and expensive terraces, stood proudly against the backdrop of the awakening sky. Its hues of pink and orange melded seamlessly into the lingering blue of the night. Your eyes widened, watching as the colors bounced off the water and reflected back onto the sturdy white pillars of the house’s exterior. The soft, ambient light illuminated its exquisite architecture, revealing intricate details and the soft contours of its stone façade.

Stepping onto the grounds for the first time, you let your hands run through the textures of the pillars, feeling its smoothened out surface. 

The house, a vision of opulence and warmth, beckoned you with its ethereal allure. Each window and glass wall, strategically placed, welcomed the sunrise with open arms, allowing the light to flood the interior spaces with a radiant glow. The reflections danced upon the surface of the pristine pool outside, playful patterns dancing along the walls and the ceiling. It made the entire house seem alive with its morning gentle touch.

You felt your breath get caught in your throat – stunned by the beauty of it all.

You moved towards the edge of the expansive backyard, where the manicured lawn stretched out like a verdant carpet leading directly to the soft sands of the secluded beach. The sound of the waves, a soothing melody, called out to you. It mingled with the rustling leaves of the palms that framed the house. The air, crisp and salty, invigorated your senses and filled you with a sense of profound peace and connection.

Unbeknownst to you, Rintaro was drunk on your expressions. He lit up each time you smiled at a corner, his heart blooming and swelling he felt it would burst out of his chest. For one of the few times in his life, he felt proud of himself.

“I bought this mansion a year after I started courting you,” he said, his gaze transfixed on the way your hands were still intertwined. It caused him to trail after you like a lost puppy; not that he minded. He just liked being here with you. With that thought in mind, he absentmindedly caressed your wedding ring with the pads of his thumb. “I didn’t have concrete plans in mind yet, but I knew I would end up marrying you someday, and the Palace didn’t seem like a good place for us to enjoy our married life. But here… we can live separately from the rules imposed on us. Here, we are not Princess or Prince. It could just be the two of us.”

You bit your lip, your heart hesitant. It fluttered at the sincerity of his words, swooned at the revelation he’d been planning this for years. You could imagine it – Rintaro walking through this property a year into your courtship, the young Prince nodding to himself because he just knew this place would be yours.

“It’s still mostly empty, of course. I didn’t want to decorate it without asking for your opinions, and I figured maybe you’d want to take the lead in that area,” he encouraged with a smile.

And really, who could say no to that? When he gave you such a beautiful house and handed you the reigns to do as you pleased, then you would turn this house into something you could call your home.

Every detail of the beach house was meticulously designed for both grandeur and intimacy. The spacious terraces offered the perfect setting for private dinners and joyful gatherings with family and friends, promising countless evenings of laughter and love under the starlit sky. You could already envision long, leisurely breakfasts on the balcony, the sea’s gentle murmur a constant, comforting presence.

You would sip your morning coffee in your nightgown, reading the newspaper, or letting your eyes close as you let the sea breeze gently wake you up from the remnants of your slumber. Behind you, your husband would sneak up in nothing but his sleep shirt, his voice deep and croaky with sleep laced to it. He would wrap his arms around your waist, coo good morning in your ears as he buried his face on the crook of your neck.

It was the perfect house to live the married life in.

The moment is too beautiful that it let the walls you’d put up slowly crumble. It gave way for your mind to entertain the thought of hope, of second chances, of a life where Rintaro apologized for everything he did and you forgave him for it. A life where he finally left Iris behind, and moved in here with you – being a loving husband and wife like he’d promised.

Regardless of his mistakes, you couldn’t deny he chose this haven with care.

He understood your yearning for a sanctuary that felt both majestic and personal. You could see his vision in every corner of the house – in the way the morning light filled the rooms, in the carefully carved openness that invited the outside world to become part of your home, and in the promise of countless memories waiting to be made within its walls.

“It’ll get very bright here in a few minutes,” he murmured, his voice echoing through the spacious expanse. “I know you hate dark places, so I wanted something that had a lot of room for sunlight.”

You hummed. “That was thoughtful of you.”

“I only had you in mind when I was looking for our place.”

Tugging at your hand, you let Rintaro drag you upstairs and show you around. “This is our bedroom,” he gestured, and you stepped inside, glancing back at him and down at your intertwined hands in a silent query. Rintaro smiled, nodding as he gently let go of your hand to let you look around the room.

Taking small, careful steps away from him, you let your eyes take in the sight before you. The room was a sanctuary of tranquility, bathed in the soft, warm hues of the rising sun. The bed, dressed in crisp white linens with accents of deep red, invited you to sink into its comfort. Candles flickered softly on a low, modern nightstand, casting a gentle, ambient glow that complemented the natural light streaming through the expansive glass wall.

The true masterpiece, however, was the view.

The entire far wall of the room was made of glass, offering an unobstructed vista of the ocean beyond. Palm trees gently swayed in the morning breeze, framing the horizon perfectly.

You moved closer to the glass, your heart swelling with awe and contentment. Outside, on the spacious terrace, two elegant lounge chairs awaited, promising peaceful mornings and serene evenings spent with the one you loved. The lush greenery surrounding the room blended seamlessly with the view, making it feel as though you lived in harmony with nature.

“Want to see the best part?”

You giggled. “You mean to tell me something could get better than this?”

“Of course. You know I’m only choosing the best for you.”

Leading you into another room at the end of the hall, Rintaro smirked – proud and barely holding back his excitement as he swung the door open. As you stepped inside, a gasp of pure delight escaped your lips – followed by bubbling laughter in disbelief.

The morning sun streamed through the grand, arched windows, casting a warm, golden light that danced sprightly across the room. The room seemed almost enchanted, a perfect blend of nature and comfort, invite you to lose yourself in your own world and let the time pass you by.

Towering bookshelves lined the walls, filled to the brim with volumes of all kinds, promising endless hours of exploration and discovery. The rich, earthy scent of aged paper and polished wood filled the air, wrapping around you like a comforting embrace. A graceful spiral staircase wound its way up to a second level, where more books awaited, their spines gleaming in the soft light.

Your eyes were immediately drawn to the cozy seating area, where a plush of sofa beckoned you to sink into its depths and get lost in a story. The soft, muted colors of the cushions and throws added a touch of warmth, making the space feel lived-in and inviting. A quaint reading lamp stood nearby, ready to cast its gentle glow over late night reading sessions. Behind you, you could hear Rintaro move through the room as well – gently picking up knick-knacks placed along the way.

“–And here is your reading corner, or… whatever you’d like it to be really. If you want to crochet, or paint with Tobio, you can use this room.”

“I thought you said this place was empty,” you joked, gazing up at the myriad of books displayed.

“Yes, it is,” smiling to himself, he leant against the wall and crossed his arms across his chest, content to let you indulge yourself by exploring. “But I made sure to fill this place up first, as I figured this would be the room you’d spent the most time in. I went ahead and collected all the books I know you liked, along with other things I thought you would enjoy.”

There it was again – the thumping of your heart over his words.

It was too easy to get carried away, especially when Rintaro was being unnecessarily sweet. It almost felt as if… nothing was wrong at all. And for a moment – just for now – you let yourself forget everything and focused on the present. With your heart tucked and hidden away for safety under your sleeve, you pointedly averted your gaze from your husband. You knew you wouldn’t be able to handle seeing him like that – content, unguarded, with hooded eyes watching you tenderly. Like he was in love with you, and he meant it when he said he wanted no one else to spend his future with.

You turned your attentions back to the room, the lush greenery that adorned the space, with ferns and potted plants that brought a taste of the outside world in.

You could already imagine yourself curled up on the sofa with a book, the sounds of the waves gently crashing in the background, or perhaps sitting by the window on a rainy day – the patter of raindrops providing a soothing soundtrack to your literary adventures.

You couldn’t help but feel your heart swell in adoration, even as you tried so hard to fight against it.

The Prince had carefully curated this heaven for you. He’d ensured you could have a space where you would spend countless mornings in, a cup of tea in hand, watching the sun rise over the horizon. Afternoons would be spent exploring the vast worlds in the many books that lined the shelves, each one a new journey waiting to be embarked upon.

This reading room was more than just a space; it was an escape from the world. A place where you could retreat and recharge, surrounded by the things you loved most. As you stood there, bathed in the soft morning light, you were bombarded by a mix of emotions – an internal debate whether to feel elated or depressed.

How could someone know you so well, and still hurt you in the process? Love truly was a dangerous thing.

However, you pushed that thought out of your mind. You did not want any arguments tainting this space, this home. Rintaro’s efforts didn’t deserve to be shattered, either. You would save it for another time. For now, you would explore every inch and corner of this house. “And here’s the backyard – plenty of space for our future kids to play in. I’m thinking twins, one boy and one girl, and then we’ll stop trying for another. Two little devils should be enough. The boy needs to be the eldest though, so he can protect his little Princess,” his eyes lit up, and you can see it already.

Rintaro must’ve seen it, too – the scene of your children running around, chasing other. Your little boy would be screaming at the top of his lungs, your little girl blowing bubbles as her hair bounced around her cute little face with each tiny step she took. If she ever tripped, her brother would immediately be there for her. He’d cradle her soft cheeks in his equally small hands, wiping her tears away and telling her it’d be okay. And then they would run to their parents for comfort – Rintaro would bring them into his arms, pressing kisses to their foreheads before he brought them back to their mama. Then, you’d pull out the first-aid kit, plastering band-aids on every scraped knee and kissing all the boo-boos away.

It was a beautiful thing to imagine. Letting your kids grow up in a beautiful place, with a loving father who would stop at nothing to ensure their happiness, building a family.

It put a smile to your face. “You do know I can’t control who comes out first, right?”

“Yes, but a man could dream,” he shrugged and faced your way, his eyes softening as he scanned your face. You didn’t know why Rintaro looked so beautiful in that moment. The picture perfect image of a Prince Charming, his hazel eyes seeing things you couldn’t, his smile hesitant yet hopeful. “I hope our little girl looks like you. She’d be very pretty just like her Mom.”

Heat rushed at the nape of your neck. It was a flood of emotions all at once – flustered, flattered, frustrated.

You immediately pointed your body in a different direction. Sliding the glass doors aside, you kicked off your heels and sunk your feet into the grass. It was a much needed reprieve after walking and driving for hours with those darned heels. Soon enough, you could hear Rintaro trailing behind you – a quick, curious glance letting you know he’d picked up your heels, your shoes dangling on his crooked fingers.

“Can we have a dog?”

“We could have a dog,” he grinned, and then gestured for you to come follow him. Feet sinking into the sand, your hands found solace in his bicep. Rintaro practically puffs up with male pride the moment your nails sunk into his skin. It was silly, enough to make you roll your eyes, but you kept on walking and walking – the sounds of sand crunching beneath your feet and the delicious warmth emanating from your husband a great way to start the morning. Eventually, you’d made it to the front of the house, where the crystalline pool stood just before the sea announced its presence.

“And in the beachfront, well, we could do pretty much anything. Barbecue, invite friends over for dinner. Oh, and there’s a wine cellar in the basement. I think I had that filled up, too. Do you want to have a quick drink before we go?” Shaking your head at him, Rintaro nods, gnawing at his lip before he decides – fuck it – and finally lets his hand rest on top of yours.

The position was oddly intimate. You weren’t embracing each other, yet you’d never been so close to him before. Your sides pressed against one another, your hand curled onto his arm, with his large, veiny hands caressing yours. It’s a little too perfect, and it makes you just a little too in love. Unable to help it, and drunk in the serenity of it all, you let your head fall back to his shoulder. Eyes closed, breaths shallow – your heartbeat in sync with his.

Thump, thump, thump. The schwaa of the waves. The whoosh of the wind.

It was like heaven on earth.

Above you, Rintaro cleared his throat. “So? What do you think? Is it to your liking? If it isn’t, I could always look for a different house–”

“It’s beautiful, Rin. Thank you.”

“You like it?”

“I love it,” you told him, opening your eyes to smile up at him, your cheek still smooshed against his broad shoulders. “It’d be a perfect home for us.”

“O-Okay,” he blushed, averting his gaze from you as he stared at the sea instead. The motion made you chuckle. It wasn’t always Rintaro could be such a flustered, affected man, but you adored the rare times when he was. Just then, an idea popped up in your head and you grinned, tapping his shoulder with your nails.

“Hey. Why don’t we have a little housewarming party to make it feel more like home?”

“We can?”

“We can do whatever we want, Rin,” you reminded him, and then scrunched your nose as you thought of the whole process. Furniture shopping, talking with interior designers, adding your personal touch, bringing in some of your most important things to this beach house that was literally miles away from the Palace. “–Although decorating it would take a lot of time and you must be busy–”

Rintaro’s eyes widened in panic. “I’m not busy. Well, I am, but I’ll make time. Let’s – Let’s decorate. I want to turn this into our home, too.”

You squeezed his bicep, warmth flooding your senses.

As you wandered through the house, your heart swelled with love and gratitude. The beach house wasn’t just a place to live in; it was a dream woven into reality. A testament to the life you would build together. Standing there, bathed in the tender embrace of the sunrise, you felt an unbreakable bond to this place, knowing that it would be the backdrop to your love story – however complicated it may be – a place where you both would grow, laugh, and find solace in each other for the years to come.

For the next few months following your arrival, you and Rintaro dedicated yourselves to transforming the beach house into a true home. It was a long, arduous process – infusing every corner with your touch, and Rintaro with his love for knick-knacks. Countless mornings were spent wandering through local markets, hand in hand, searching for pieces that spoke to you – the future you would create.

It was a great opportunity to fool the media, too, a silent declaration to the world that your marriage would not be swayed by petty rumors.

Well, they were not just rumors, but the Queen seemed ardently pleased by the amassed support.

Rintaro, suddenly the considerate partner and doting husband, would often pause to hold up a delicate vase or an intricately carved wooden sculpture, his eyes seeking your approval. You, in turn, would smile and nod, trusting his impeccable taste and loving the way he always seemed to know what would make your heart sing.

It was as if he knew what you’d like before you even said it out loud. Maybe it was because he’d spent two years of his life courting you that he now knew you like the back of his hand.

Whatever it was, the media ate it up. The article regarding his cheating scandal eventually became nothing but measly gossip. You remained in contact with Kuroo, however, his article about Iris only waiting to drop at your signal.

It should’ve been released months ago. You could’ve ruined her already, snatched your husband back right under her nose – you just couldn’t do it. Not yet. Not when she’d been pointedly avoiding Rintaro, and your husband was acting like he forgot she existed. Could it be both of them couldn’t handle the criticism, after all? Did they care more about their reputations and image than their ‘passionate love affair’?

But then again, neither of them wanted to be exposed for their trysts.

It was all Atsumu’s doing.

And that actress – poor Hiroda Yuki – still remained oblivious to the sex tape you hid under your closet. A secret you would bury there forever, a secret you’d take with you to your grave. You hadn’t heard news of her getting knocked up, and her career was still soaring. For now, you had nothing to worry about. It seemed peaceful – for now.

In the meantime, you dedicated your afternoons in the arrangement and rearrangement of everything you’ve collected – snow globes from your trips overseas with your parents, Rintaro’s random collection of weapons and key chains from his own adventures. The living room, with its expansive glass walls and view of the endless ocean, became a canvas for you to experiment with. There were no rules here.

You placed a soft, oversized rug in the center, its deep blues and greens echoing the colors of the sea. Comfortable chairs and sofas were positioned to invite conversation and relaxation, while vibrant cushions and throws added splashes of color and warmth. You insisted on color, ensuring that the beach house had to be vibrant and thrumming with life. You refused to let it be like the Palace – dull yet overwhelming with all its arching marble statues and golden chandeliers.

And then the dining area, envisioned as the heart of your home, where family and friends would gather, received special attention. You chose a large, rustic wooden table, its surface polished to a warm glow. Around it, you placed mismatched chairs (which greatly bothered Kiyoomi when you sent him photos), but you told him that each had its own story and character. The space was an organized mess, eclectic yet coherent. Above the table, Rintaro hung a chandelier of delicate glass orbs that cast a soft, magical light during evening meals.

The master bedroom was a different tale itself. It was the room you and Rintaro spent the most time on. You established several rules before proceeding, drilling it into his head that:

Rule no. 1: He was not allowed to bring any women inside. (He scoffed at it, offended, but agreed anyway.)

Rule no. 2: Lavender essential oils were the only scents allowed. Vanilla scents were forbidden. (He didn’t understand why you were so vehemently against it, but again – whatever makes the wife happy, was what he said. That alone made you question… did he not know what Iris smelled like? He knew all your favorite perfumes by heart, yet could not recognize the distinctness of vanilla? You quickly dropped the subject.)

And finally, Rule no. 3: No arguments inside the bedroom.

(Rintaro was barely able to hide his shock at you suggesting it. His eyes widened for a moment, an expression he quickly schooled into that of nonchalance. “Of course,” he’d said, “Any conversation that may require a debate will always be had outside. Never here.” To which you replied, “Never here, Rintaro. This is our space. We will not be enemies here.)

There it was, the master bedroom, a sanctuary of tranquility and intimacy. Soft, sheer curtains were chosen to filter the morning light. The bed was adorned with luxurious linens and a variety of textured pillows, making it a perfect retreat after long days spent exploring the island or entertaining the guests you would have over.

Personal touches, like framed photographs of your wedding, and the candid ones he’d taken of you each time he called for you in the Yuzuru Estate, were placed on the nightstands.

All that was left was to invite his brothers over for the housewarming party.

You and Rintaro decided to keep it a secret for now. After all, it wasn’t every day that the brothers all gathered together for dinner outside the Palace. You debated inviting the Queen over, too, but after that recent fiasco and her snide remarks about your mother, you were heavily against it. Rintaro, on the other hand, couldn’t care less. He just wanted to spend time with his brothers – saying they’ve never done that before. Hopefully, it wasn’t too late for them to rekindle their brotherhood.

It sounded like an absurd idea at first, you admitted. You didn’t have to go so far to help your husband get along with his own brothers, but whether you liked it or not, you were married – and marriage often came with demanding responsibilities.

Of course, there was still the issue of Iris: would she be invited or not?

You gauged it for the first few weeks. Waiting, listening, and watching with a careful eye on how Rintaro would be acting. You’d also piloted the agenda, peering over it like a hawk to see if he would sneak in a thing or two. Or maybe he had a room for her. But – much to your surprise – there was none. There were exactly nine guest rooms; one for each brother and their wife, and one for the Queen or your parents, whoever wanted to visit.

Still, it made you turn your nose upwards.

You didn’t fancy the thought of Kiyoomi sharing a room with Iris. In fact, the image of them sharing the same bed was enough to make your stomach turn upside down. But knowing Kiyoomi? He’d probably make her sleep on the floor than be anywhere near her.

Finally, after some finishing touches, you both sent out the invitations.

The housewarming party was an intimate, private event. It was challenging at first – their schedules did not align with each other, and Prince Wakatoshi was not warming up to the idea. However, his son, Wakashi, badly wanted to see the sea. That was all it took before he’d agreed, and soon, even the busybody Shinsuke accepted the invitation – with the promise Airi could also come.

Pride bloomed in your chest. It seemed like an impossible feat at the beginning, gathering all the Princes into one place. But they’re all here now – Keiji was reading books to Wakashi, Tobio is playing beach volleyball with Tooru, Rintaro, and Atsumu. Osamu declined his brothers’ invitation as soon as he caught sight of your kitchen, pushing past his blond-haired twin and declaring that your kitchen was now his. You all laughed about it, and Osamu hasn’t left since.

Wakatoshi was there in your living room, cuddled up on the couch with his wife, Camilla. They both snoozed in peace, lulled by the Princes’ distant shouts and yells from their game. Behind them, Shinsuke crouched over the paperwork he’d brought with him, Airi happily gazing at her Prince as she wiped glasses and silverware.

Kiyoomi and Iris, for some reason, did not participate in any of the activities. The Second Prince has worn a stormy expression the moment he parked his car, his wife in tow. Iris didn’t look great either – her face pale and lips chapped.

You made a mental note to ask him about it later. For now, you would enjoy yourself.

Stepping out of the living room, you walked past the pool and to the beach. The Princes were still playing on a 2v2, Tobio and Tooru on one team, Rintaro and Atsumu on the other. As you got there, your sundress puffing up from the wind, you noticed Maiko was already on one of the lawn chairs – smiling fondly at her husband who scored once more.

You followed her gaze. Now that was a sight, indeed. All the Princes were shirtless – their muscles rippling with each jump or aggressive spike of the ball. They’d already been tanned after playing under the sun for hours, their healthy golden glow illuminated by the setting sun. Rintaro himself had you struggling to look away. Wearing sun shades, a black compression arm sleeve, and his shorts hanging low on his hips – it suddenly felt hot despite the breeze.

Shaking your head to yourself, you tore your gaze away from him and sat next to the Princess. “Maiko,” you greeted, handing her a watermelon juice.

“Your Highness!” she beamed, gladly accepting the drink and playing with the umbrella before she continued, “Thank you for having us over.”

“It was my pleasure,” Smiling, you watched her closely, not missing the way her cheeks flamed each time Tooru scored and he looked her way. The movement was subtle, barely noticeable from another’s eye, but it was clear in that moment it meant the world to Maiko. Beside you, the Princess hid her giddy smile behind her drink, her bare toes curling into the sand beneath you. “So. You and Tooru seem to have gotten along more.”

“Hmm, I wouldn’t say that,” she scrunched her nose, “He was really worried for you, you know. He wouldn’t stop telling me how he was going to beat the Crown Prince up. And when that article went out…”

“We’ve moved past that.”

“You have?” she perked up, “I mean, that’s good. Have you forgiven him?”

You took another sip of your drink, and then snorted. “Of course not. But I think we’re at this point in our marriage where we’re pretending to be happily married, and it’s hard for me to not play my part,” when Maiko titled her head to the side, confused, you gestured to the grand abode behind you. “He’s bought me this house, helped me decorate it. We spent many nights talking about how we’d like it to be, and now we’re all here. His brothers, their wives – everyone is laughing and having fun. How could I ruin it by dwelling on the past?”

Maiko didn’t look entirely convinced. You couldn’t blame her – you weren’t very convinced yourself.

Things were going a little too smoothly for your liking. Until now, you still had your doubts that everything was suddenly okay, that Rintaro and Iris have suddenly decided to end their relationship. But you’d asked around, bribed the maids in Belleview Manor, and they all said the same thing.

Rintaro and Iris have not spoken to each other ever since your return.

It felt as if Rintaro had been sincere when he said he only slept with her because he felt lonely with you. A pathetic excuse, of course, something only an imbecile would fall for. But you’d long accepted that Rintaro was an oddity and complexity of itself.

The only way to truly understand him was to let him show all versions of himself, both the good and the bad, before you could see which one of him you could love the most.

And this Rintaro?

The loyal, caring husband who’d given you this home? The one who wouldn’t stop stealing kisses even when no one was looking? The one who proved to you that the master bedroom upstairs indeed had very soft, luxurious beds by fucking you in it all the way until the morning?

You liked that Rintaro very much.

“I’m always here for you,” Maiko said after a moment, her smile genuine as she gazed upon the secluded area. “The house is beautiful, by the way. I can see why you looked so happy ever since the Crown Prince showed this place to you.”

“It’s our home. It was the best thing he could’ve given me.”

Saying it loud felt like an accomplishment. Your mother had always told you that you would be great at managing your own house someday. It felt surreal to see with your own eyes that she’d been right.

“To be honest, I never expected I would have moments like this,” quipped Maiko, her smile wavering as she plucked out the cocktail umbrella. “Before I married Tooru, it was lonely in the Rai Estate. My mother died giving birth to me, and my father married the next woman who presented herself to him. Sometimes I think he did that because he wanted me to grow up with a mother, but my stepmother was never fond of me. It was a lonely childhood, I must admit,” she confessed with a sarcastic chuckle, lifting her head to stare at her husband. “But then Prince Tooru came along. The Queen started bringing him along whenever she visited my father, and the Prince and I would always have playdates. I remember I would cry each time they had to return to the Palace.”

You tipped your head to the side, curious. “The Queen brought Tooru to the Rai Estate?”

Maiko nodded. “Yes. You didn’t know? Her Majesty is my godmother,” she informed, absentmindedly spinning the ring on her finger. “She was close friends with my father, and they remained in contact even when she married the King. I’d say she was the closest I ever got to having a mother figure, but Her Majesty is too busy to waste her time looking after a little girl.”

“I see,” you murmured, and reached over to clasp her bare shoulder with a comforting squeeze. “I’m sorry about your mother, Maiko. I hadn’t known she’d already passed.”

“It’s alright, not a lot of people mourned her death anyway. And people easily forgot she existed because my father remarried very soon,” she shrugged, a forlorn look crossing her sharp features. “My father said I don’t look like her. Sometimes, I think that fact made it easier for him to move on, because he never saw her in me.”

“Did your father love her?”

“Probably not. You know how marriages between nobles are; I wouldn’t be surprised if it was arranged. He never talked about her either, so I wouldn’t know.”

You hummed to yourself, “Does the Queen still visit Lord Rai?”

“Not lately, no. She got occupied handling the Kingdom’s affairs when His Majesty passed away, but they still send each other letters during birthdays. I’m not sure the Queen has written back to my father in a while, though,” as quickly as she said it, Maiko’s back straightened, her free hands waving frantically in the air. “Oh, I hope this doesn’t change the way you see me, Princess. I promise the Queen does not hold any special favors to me.”

“Not at all, Maiko. You’re still the same Princess in my eyes.”

“TAKE THAT!”

Both of your heads snapped in the Princes’ direction. Tobio, pumping his arms in the air as Atsumu tugged at his blond locks from the other side of the net. Tooru was running around – or more like bouncing – while your husband was down on one knee, panting heavily with sweat dripping down his chest.

Before you could process what was going on, Tooru bolted for Maiko’s direction, whooping and hollering as he picked her up and twirled her. Maiko’s squeal was lodged in her chest upon Tooru’s crushing hug. He kept spinning her, enough to have Maiko wobbly on her feet when he finally put her down, holding her at an arm’s length away as he exclaimed, “Did you see that? Rintaro couldn’t receive my serve!”

“It was just a lucky serve!” defended your husband.

“Yeah, right.”

Rintaro turned to you, his ears turning red as he stood up and dusted the sand of his abs. “It was a lucky serve.”

You put your hand up to your mouth, concealing your laughter. “I’m sure it was.”

As the sun began to set, casting a warm glow over the horizon, the air buzzed with excitement and the scent of blooming flowers from the garden. The sound of waves crashing softly in the background added a serene rhythm to the lively conversations that flowed as effortlessly as the wine. The brothers, their bond evident in their playful banter and shared stories, mingled around the spacious terrace, their laughter mingling with the music that floated through the air.

You eventually left Maiko, seeing as the Princes did not have any plans on stopping their game anytime soon. You didn’t want to rush them into dinner either, not when Rintaro looked like he was having the time of his life.

Dusting sand off your dress, you took yours and Maiko’s empty glasses back inside. Airi and Osamu were still in the kitchen; the former smiling at you when you handed her the glasses, while Osamu remained elbow-deep in some dough. You left them soon to their devices, heading out of the kitchen when you nearly bumped into a firm chest.

“Hey.”

“Kiyoomi,” you blinked up at him, joy radiating from every pore now that he was here. Kiyoomi looked handsome in just his cream, short-sleeved linen shirt, his curls tousled and falling beautifully to frame his face. Until now, you were still beguiled by his striking beauty. “Thank you for coming on such short notice. I heard you’d been occupied with some things in Itachiyama.”

“Nothing out of the ordinary, and I would never decline an invitation from you,” he said softly, dipping his head so you could hear him better. His close proximity set your heart racing, and before you noticed it, you had your dress balled into your fists. “You did a great job with the place. It’s lovely.”

“Thank you,” you breathed out, voice light and airy as you gestured outside. “Are you not going to join your brothers in their game?”

Kiyoomi shook his head, a mischievous smirk gracing his handsome features. “If I did, then Rintaro’s team would lose.”

“Oh, are you a better player than him?”

“I’m better than him in all aspects,” he declared, offhandedly gesturing to their brother on the couch.  “Though I could never hit as hard as Wakatoshi. You should’ve seen him in his prime – he was a monster as long as he had the ball in his hands.”

“I didn’t know you played volleyball, too.”

“We used to play a lot when we were younger. Before duties called.”

You nodded, silently escorting him out of the kitchen. You could already feel Airi’s gaze burning holes at the back of your head. “How is Iris, by the way? I don’t think I’ve seen her around.”

“She said she wasn’t feeling well, so she’s been holed up in bed ever since,” informed Kiyoomi, scratching his cheek in thought. “Did she have a fight with Rin?”

“No, I don’t think so. I think… it’s because Rintaro is ignoring her, and she might be upset about that,” wrinkling your nose, you raised both hands in the air as a form of surrender. “But let’s not talk about unpleasant things. How was your trip to Itachiyama? And Kanami! How is she? I didn’t get to properly say goodbye to her last time.”

Kiyoomi’s lip twitched with amusement. “She’s fine, just a little mad that I took you home without informing her beforehand. She really wanted to spend more time with you.”

I didn’t want to leave either, you almost told him, biting back your tongue at the last moment.

Finding yourself alone with the older Prince, the air thickened with unspoken tension. A palpable static seemed to crackle between you two. Every glance exchanged was laden with unvoiced words, and every accidental touch sent a jolt of electricity through you. He stood close to you, his presence comforting and warm, yet an invisible barrier held you apart – neither brave enough to bridge the gap.

Your heart raced as you felt the weight of his presence beside you, the magnetic pull urging you closer. The silence was almost deafening – filled with the potential of what could be said, yet the fear of breaking it kept you mute.

Finally, Kiyoomi, with a nervous swallow and a shy, almost boyish smile, broke the silence.

“How was the meeting with Kuroo?” he began, his voice soft but trembling with the same tension you felt.

You told him everything without a detail to spare. Your words were hushed, voice barely above a whisper in case anyone accidentally walked in on you. Kiyoomi nodded as he took everything in, the tension on his shoulders increasing. “I see. Has he contacted you ever since?”

“The last message I got from him was from a few days ago. He says he’s got everything he needs – he’s just waiting for the green light.”

“So we’re just waiting for him to drop the bomb.”

“Practically, yes,” you agreed, when an idea formed in your head. Clapping your hands together, you tugged at Kiyoomi’s sleeve. “Actually, could you come with me? I wanted to show you something.”

Kiyoomi wasn’t able to say his response before you’re dragging him upstairs. You already knew the house like the back of your hand, confident you could navigate through it even with your eyes closed. Once you’d reached your destination, you swung the doors open – arms outstretched to show it off. “This is my reading corner, a library of sorts. And here–” you led him to a wall you’d intentionally kept empty, “–is your corner.”

“My corner?”

“Yes, you know, like how everyone has their own space in your library back at the farmhouse.”

“That’s a family house. This is your house with your husband.”

“Rintaro bought it because he wanted to have a safe space with his family, and you’re his brother. That makes you my family too, doesn’t it?”

Your smile was warm, sincere and elated upon presenting him his ‘corner.’ Kiyoomi couldn’t blame you for not noticing the fleeting hurt in his eyes, his disappointment quickly masked with a practiced, cordial nod.

“Family. Right,” he echoed, “I’ll make sure to add my own things someday here. Thank you.”

“FUCK YEAH!” roared Atsumu from below. All too quickly, the moment is broken. You and Kiyoomi stepped away from each other, both releasing a breath you didn’t noticed you held.

“I should go–”

“Of course,” Kiyoomi agreed, his nods a tad too hurried. He’s looking at everywhere but you now. “I’ll follow in a bit.”

You were hesitant to leave. It’d felt like forever since you’d last spoken to Kiyoomi. Ever since that night your call did not push through when Rintaro chased after you, Kiyoomi had been restless. He’d text you every morning and night, without fail, to reassure himself you did not come to harm. He was sweet – undeniably so – and it felt like a waste. Everything did. You couldn’t spend time with him, or speak to him freely like you did in Itachiyama anymore. Here, in Inarizaki, the cameras devoured everything you and Rintaro did.

It came without question you’d unknowingly distanced yourself from the Second Prince.

With a heart heavy of doubt, you exited the room. The last you saw of Kiyoomi was him slouched over his corner, his eyes closed and his head resting on his arm.

You skipped down the stairs, careful of the ankle-length of your sundress. The living room was already a mess when you got there – Atsumu was shaking Wakatoshi awake by the shoulders, screaming that he’d won against ‘stupid Tooru.’ Tooru, on the other hand, was being comforted by his wife, a pout permanent on his face.

“Hey,” an arm wrapped itself around your waist. Tensing, you quickly smiled when you saw it was just Rintaro – now dressed in a plain white button-up, the top three buttons left open to cool himself.

“Hey back.”

“Why didn’t you watch me play?”

You almost laughed at him. It was a comical sight – your tall husband slouching and pouting like a kicked puppy. Shaking your head at him, you let him pull you into an embrace, his arms engulfing you completely. You’re wholly warm like this, his head on top of yours, your cheek on his warm chest that’s still slightly damp with sweat.

“We have guests over, Rin. I have to make sure everyone’s settled.”

“But I played good,” he whines above you, his head dipping to playfully nibble at your ear. Rintaro crushes you in the embrace, your bodies pressed close enough that the growing tent in his trousers poked you through your sundress. Breath hitching, your tilted your neck to give him more access – warily looking out for onlookers. Thankfully, his brothers were all occupied with searching for snacks.

“I’m not inviting my brothers over next time. They take up too much of your attention.”

“Don’t be weird,” you teased, “I’m all yours tonight.”

Tipping your chin to look him in the eye, Rintaro presses a tender kiss at the insides of your wrist. “All mine for a lifetime, hopefully.”

“We’re married. I don’t think we have much of a choice in that aspect.”

When Rintaro smiled, his whole face lit up, his teeth flashing wickedly. Squeezing your waist, his eyes took in the warm, golden lights of your house. The bustling noise his brothers made, and the aroma of dinner being prepared. “We really outdid ourselves, huh. This place turned out better than I expected.”

You patted his firm stomach. “Should we all celebrate with some dinner?”

Nodding, Rintaro pressed a kiss to your forehead before disappearing in the kitchen. Atsumu followed not long after, complaining that ‘Samu was taking ‘too darned long’ preparing his food. You can’t help the smile making its way into your face. Rintaro was right; you really outdid yourselves. The night was a success – everyone was happy, and it finally felt like everything was normal.

“Nee-chan,” Tobio appeared before you, a towel wrapped around his neck. His grin is bright, cheeks flushed from the game and still breathing heavily. “Thank you for the party. I don’t think I’ve had this much fun before.”

“I’m glad you’re enjoying yourself, Tobio,” you beamed at him, watching from behind him as Wakatoshi shook his head at all the noise his brothers made – not missing the way his lips curled just the slightest when his son joined in on the joyous atmosphere.

“You should teach me how to play volleyball someday.”

“Of course!” Tobio said, a little eagerly. Just then, his eyes dimmed, his smile wavering as he approached you, a hand cupped at the sides of his mouth. “But sis… are you sure you’re okay with Rintaro? He seems oddly clingy to you today. If he bothers you, let me know, okay? I’ll beat him up. I’ll ask Shinsuke-nii to help me too–”

“Calm down. No one’s getting beaten up today. Let’s just enjoy dinner, alright?”

Tobio sulked, his shoulders closing in together with a frown. However, all that disappeared when Osamu and Airi appeared with dinner. Within minutes, all of you were situated in the long table. Everyone dug in, a mumbled ‘thanks’ and a quick prayer led by Wakatoshi.

Beside you, Rintaro squeezed your thigh before standing up. The scraping of his chair alerted everyone – multiple pairs of heads turning your way as he raised a glass.

“I wanted to make a toast – to thank everyone for coming despite their busy schedules. This home – our home – means the world to me, and there’s no one else but family who I’d rather share this moment with. I want to thank my wife, too, for bringing light into my life,” he gestured your way, causing a bout of sniggers coming from Atsumu. You rolled your eyes and decided to ignore him. “Also, I am very happy to announce that the scandal has been officially cleared. The writer of that article has left the country, and the media is no longer attacking me. I am officially an honorable man again.”

“To honor?” Osamu raised his wine with a snort, and everyone glared at him. “Oh, my bad, I thought that’s what we were toasting for.”

“Osamu,” warned Shinsuke.

“To good memories,” you announced, followed by a chorus of echoes, “And to family.” Pointing your drink in Kiyoomi’s way, the Prince raised his drink, his small smile hidden behind the glass.

“To family.”

As twilight deepened into night, the garden lights twinkled like stars, and the gathering moved inside to the cozy warmth of the living room. Stories and laughter continued late into the evening, the house filled with the comforting sounds of family and the promise of many more cherished moments to come.

It was a night of celebration, not just of a new home, but of the bonds that made it a true haven—a place where love, laughter, and the warmth of family would forever reside.

It was a moment you would cherish while it lasted.

Everyone headed straight for the wine cellar after dinner.

It caused a ruckus – half of the Princes were passed out drunk in their rooms, while the rest stayed up playing Mario Kart. It had been Tobio’s idea, and with Rintaro eagerly joining in, it soon turned into the competitive bout it was now. Whoever lost would skinny dip in the pool without turning the heater on.

You shook your head at their antics.

You cleaned up after everyone, Maiko and Camilla apologizing that they wanted to tend to their drunk husbands and couldn’t help. You quickly waved them away, unbothered. If anything, you appreciated how the noise slowly dissipated – leaving you alone with Kiyoomi who’d volunteered to help clean up. The silence is comfortable as you maneuvered around the dining room.

“Your Highness!” exclaimed Airi, wiping her hands on her apron as she rushed to you both. “Please, leave that behind, I’ll take care of it!”

As gently as you could, you snatched back the wet rug from her hands. “Airi, darling, you can go ahead and rest. I’ll take over here.”

“Oh but Princess, I could never! I’ll clean everything up–”

Kiyoomi smiled at her. “It’s okay, Airi. I’m sure Shinsuke’s been dying to talk to you, too,” Airi flushed red, causing the Prince to rumble in laughter beside you. “Go. We’ll handle this.”

“T-Thank you.”

Airi dashed upstairs, sending you both one last grateful glance before disappearing.

Guilt washed over you at the sight of her. Airi and Kita seemed to be happy together, but you knew the harsh reality that the chances of them working out were low. Not only was she a maid, but she had completely nothing to her name – no family, no college degree, and had a mouth that required dire control. At least here in the privacy of your home, they would receive no criticism, but as soon as you all returned home to the Palace… you sighed.

You couldn’t tell whether you were comforted at the thought you were not the only one suffering when it came to love.

You’re elbow deep in the sink washing the dishes, Kiyoomi at your side silently wiping the plates, when you remembered an empty seat at the table. “Iris didn’t come down for dinner. Should I bring her some leftovers?”

Kiyoomi grumbled, uninterested. “I’m sure she’ll come around once she’s hungry, and that should be soon. She’s had a mad appetite lately.”

Speaking of the devil, a light tap came from the countertops. You whipped your head at the soft, lilting voice. Iris stood a few feet away from you, a basket covered with red cloth held in front of her stomach. She looked sheepish; her brown hair falling down her in graceful waves, but her eyes were red and swollen, as if she’d been crying the entire time.

You snuck a glance at Kiyoomi, questioning, but he merely shrugged, turning his back to her and resuming with his task.

“Your Highness. May I speak with you?” her eyes darted to her husband’s figure, shifting from foot to foot. “Alone?”

“Of course. Excuse me for a moment,” bowing to Kiyoomi, you quickly washed your hands and followed Iris. She led you past the living room and out to the pools. The Princes’ shouts and banters became nothing but background noise. There, Iris situated herself in the picnic table under the willow tree, tucking her hair behind her ear.

“What is it you wanted to talk about?”

She nudged the basket your way, lifting the red cloth to reveal… pastries? “I baked these cookies for you this morning before we left the Palace. Please, have some. Consider it my peace offering.”

You fell silent. Mouth opening and closing as you searched for the right words, you settled for a forced smile. “Thank you. That’s very kind of you.”

Iris gnawed on her lip, and dragged her chair closer to you. Much to your surprise, her hands landed on your knee, her big, green eyes pleading. “Listen, Princess, I know we got off on the wrong footing, and I really want to put that behind us and start new.”

“Uh,” you blinked back, “O-Okay?”

“I’m sorry for everything. I really am. I didn’t mean for Rintaro’s lies to drag on and go this far, and if you must know, I never supported him on his plan–”

“Why?” you didn’t mean for your words to come out harsh. But it did, and you tilted your head to the side, oddly calm as you asked, “Why don’t you support him? Don’t you want to be his?”

Iris’ bravado faltered for a minute.

“I-I did at one point. It gets tiring having to hide your relationship, you know? But his plans seemed too absurd to me, and it sounded impossible that he could achieve it.”

“Do you think he’s not fit to be King?”

“That’s not what I said.”

“It’s what you implied,” you reiterated, scanning her face for answers – for the truth – when realization dawned on you. Leaning back, you flicked her hands away from your lap, lips curling in distaste. “You look down on him, Iris. You don’t think he’s a capable Prince at all.”

Iris clenched her jaw in an attempt to bite back a retort. “He has his many great qualities, but sometimes the Crown Prince loses touch of what is real and what is not,” she said, her placid tone betraying the fire burning in her eyes. “This is why I’m hoping we can be friends and start anew, Princess. I’m letting you know I’m breaking up with Rin. In fact, we have not been talking as of lately–”

“You fucked him in my bed lately. Do you really expect I would believe you?”

Her gaze was ice cold as it cut to you. “That was months ago, and he was the one who brought me there.”

“Let’s say he did. But who’s to say you did not seduce him beforehand?”

“He said his room felt lonely without you there, and he brought me for company. Don’t you realize, Princess? Your husband longs for you more than you know.”

Unable to help it, you chortled out a laugh. “What, are you saying he loves me?”

“He might,” she gritted her teeth, “But he needs to get over me first. That’s why I’m letting him go – you’re a kind person and you don’t deserve to be treated as second best. I’m putting my heart aside so you can finally enjoy your marriage.”

Your jaw dropped. “You’re doing this for me? How very benevolent of you, Princess.”

“It’s really not that hard to believe I want you to be happy.”

You shook your head, refusing to believe it was this easy. “Why the sudden change of heart? Is it because you couldn’t handle being called a slut by everyone?”

“I am not a slut, nor am I a homewrecker. He loved me first, don’t you forget that,” she spat out, her words laced with poison. It had you narrowing your eyes at her, and the Princess cowered for a moment, dropping her gaze down her lap as she stumbled over what to say next. “But the truth is… I never loved him. Or if I did, it wasn’t to the point where I would throw away my marriage to him. I want stability, Your Highness, and my union with Kiyoomi provided me that. Stability, security, and power – I have it all. There’s nothing more I could possibly want.”

“Then why were you sleeping with my husband?”

Iris shut her eyes, her hands balled into fists at her lap. “Because my husband wasn’t around. He avoided me like the plague during the early stages of our marriage, and the Palace is too big a place for someone like me. I’m human, too. I got lonely. You cannot blame me for seeking out the warmth of another. He wasn’t yours during those times, so you can’t put this over our heads again and again.”

“You were using him,” you stated, shooting up from your seat. Kiyoomi had told you about it. Hell, even Maiko had an inkling their relationship was nothing but exploitative on Iris’ part, but hearing it coming from her – hearing how she used your husband like he was a mere toy or puppet for her to play with as she pleases… your blood boiled.

“You knew Rintaro was in love with you, and you took advantage of that. How could you?”

“Because he was there when no one else was.”

You stood rigidly, trying to quell the storm brewing within you. Fixing your gaze on the horizon, you avoided Iris’s eyes, afraid that even a fleeting glance would betray the torrent of emotions you fought to contain. Each breath was a deliberate effort to maintain your composure, your mind a battlefield of unspoken accusations and restrained fury.

Despite the turmoil, you held yourself with regal poise.

“I think I’m going to have a drink,” you decided, sending one last forced smile her way. “Care for some?”

Color drained from the Princess’ face. “No, I-I’m laying off the drinks for a while. I’ve never been a drinker anyway.”

You watched Iris from the corner of your eye, noting how she subtly used her arms to hug her stomach, her movements slow and deliberate. Since arriving at the beach house, Iris had looked unusually pale and sickly, her vitality drained. She kept her distance from Rintaro, a fact that hadn’t gone unnoticed by everyone.

A wild thought flickered through your mind – could Iris be pregnant?

You quickly dismissed the idea, shaking your head, but the possibility lingered – filling you with a growing sense of dread. The realization settled in her chest like a heavy stone, the implications threating to unravel the fragile ‘peace’ between you all.

“Hmm.” You dug your nails to your palm, licking your lips as you tried to still your beating heart. “I think I’ll head to bed soon. Good night, Iris.”

“Princess,” Iris called out from where she sat, her beautiful face crestfallen and desperate. “Have you forgiven me? Can we be friends?”

“I’ll think about it.”

You headed back inside the house, your breathing growing shallower with each step you took. Faintly, you heard Rintaro’s concerned voice calling after you. You paid him no mind, taking two steps at a time as you pushed open the door to their shared bedroom.

Kiyoomi was already inside, in the middle of taking off his wristwatch when you came bustling in. Your name fell on his lips. You ignored him, too, heading for the bed with crumpled sheets from where Iris must’ve slept. You threw the pillows on the ground, the blankets balled and discarded to the side, as you looked for something – searched for answers. Her belongings all came crashing to the ground as you picked it apart one by one, hauling her suitcase from the drawer before kicking it to the floor.

“Princess,” Kiyoomi sounded worried, his hands coming up to reach for you when you slapped it away. Concern flashed over his face, more so when he saw the tears welling up in your eyes. “What’s wrong? What are you doing?”

“She’s hiding something. I know it.”

It didn’t take much effort to open her suitcase. Clothes, shoes, her makeup bag – you emptied it of its contents and felt around for any hidden zippers. None. It was empty, save for some unused tampons scattering right beneath your feet.

Your vision began to grow blurry.

Pushing past Kiyoomi, you dashed for the bathroom and knelt on the ground, opening the trash bin and digging through the heap of dry paper towels. You stared at it, confused. Why throw away perfectly good and unused napkins? Determined, you flipped the bin upside down. A white, thin object fell on the ground with a soft clink.

You reached for it with shaky hands.

It was a pregnancy test – one that read positive.

Behind you, you heard Kiyoomi’s sharp inhale. “It’s not mine,” his words faded into the background, “I never touched her.”

When you found the strength to speak, your voice came out weak and cracked.

“…I know you’re not the father.”

from the left: beach house → master bedroom → reading room

[irisintheafterglow]

to tell you is too scary (so I'll just say something else)

↻ ◁ II ▷ ↺ now playing: lizzy mcalpine - "pancakes for dinner"

summary: nightmares don't usually translate to reality, but you call sakusa for the first time in years. just to be safe.

wc: 1k

cw/tags: gn!reader and post-timeskip!sakusa, nightmare about a plane crash but nothing descriptive, angst/comfort with happy ending, childhood friends to lovers (??), dialogue-driven, he hates everyone but you

note: yayy first @ficsforgaza gift post for @froggiewonder17 !! i tried out a different layout for the top section of this post, lmk if y'all like it! thank you again for donating to help palestinian families, i hope you like this :)) my f4g masterpost can be found here!

likes, reblogs, and replies are appreciated!

Your thumb trembles over the call button next to his contact, hovering and waiting for some unseen force to make you stop. Your hand keeps shaking, no matter how hard you try to stop it; the ravaged skin of your cuticles is stained with dried blood from your constant picking and scratching. Dread crashes again in a wave and you find yourself trapped under the water, gasping for air that wasn’t being inhaled. With a knot in your lungs, instinct takes over and taps your phone. 

The three ascending notes of the phone dialing his number sound far away and you unexpectedly heave out a choked sob. He’d probably changed his number or deleted yours. Maybe he would simply glance at the unknown caller ID and ignore it entirely, returning to his drink with all his teammates at the bar. You didn’t know him anymore. 

You didn’t know him anymore. 

Your palm slams onto the red circle and you curl into as tight of a ball as you can muster, disappearing into the corner of your bedroom. It’s stupid, calling him because of the first night terror you’d had in a decade. When you were kids, he was always your first call when your eyes flew open. I’m with you, I’ve got you, he said. He guided you when adrenaline turned into anxiety, when the void outside your window was unfathomably dark. He’d stay until your breathing evened into a sleeping rhythm and wouldn’t hang up until your phone died or you woke up the next morning. He was there every time you were drowning, and your soul didn’t know what to do without its safety ring except sink, 

and sink, 

and sink…

INCOMING CALL. 

CALLER ID: Kiyoomi💛💚

You stare at your phone screen illuminating the blankets like a beacon. Blinking once, then twice, you wait for it to disappear like a hallucination or a trick of your psyche. It doesn’t, and when you have half the mind to reach for your phone, the screen disappears. You’d missed the call. Maybe it was a trick of the mind? 

(1) MISSED CALL - Kiyoomi💛💚

INCOMING CALL.

CALLER ID: Kiyoomi💛💚

You’re faster this time, snatching your phone from the covers and swiping the “answer call” button to the side. It’s quiet on the other end of the line for a moment, but he’s there. He always was, wasn’t he?

“...Omi?”

“Hey,” he says gently. There’s faint noise in the background of where he is, sounds of conversations and telecom announcements. Even with the sound of rolling wheels, he’s still clear. “You called.” Fifty minutes away, Kiyoomi imagines you nodding in the silence, maybe wiping a stray tear with the corner of your fitted sheet. “You’re safe?” You hum a shaky mhmm, still unable to force out any words. He murmurs your name, coaxing you out of your tight ball. “I need to hear you say it.”

“I’m safe,” you reply after a breath. Based on your voice alone, he could tell the night terror happened no more than five minutes before you called. “I just–I’m sorry if I–”

“I’m here if you want to talk about it,” he reassures you, immediately shooting Atsumu a withering glare when he tries to dance up to Kiyoomi’s less busy part of the airport. The MSBY team’s international flight was canceled an hour ago, but he was still trying to figure out if he wanted to stay with his teammates at a closer hotel. The present situation felt, literally and metaphorically, like you were calling him home. 

“There was a plane,” you say in a broken whisper. He strains to hear your crackling voice and shakes his head adamantly when Bokuto and Hinata try to join Atsumu’s antics. Now was not the time to fuck around with him. “You were on it, and something went wrong, and it–There was an accident and…I just had to watch it happen. I had to watch it happen and I couldn’t do anything.” Your voice cracks and trails off, making Kiyoomi’s chest twist like a wrung towel. Your friendship was strained after Kiyoomi’s second Nationals, fading completely until there was nothing left when you graduated except photobooth strips from third grade. He kept your number, though, in case something like this ever happened. In case you needed him again or he needed you, he never decided.

“Are you–are you home right now?” Another broken mhmm. “Can I see you?”

“You’re not overseas?”

“I was supposed to be, as of an hour ago,” he admits, running an exasperated hand through his curls and straightening his track jacket collar. A flash of light catches the corner of his eye. Cameras, cameras, cameras, always. He clicks his tongue disapprovingly, continuing, “But, the flight got delayed and ultimately canceled because of maintenance issues. We’re probably gonna have to postpone the game.”

“I’m sorry, Omi.” You hear him shrug in that indifferent manner that always seemed to come down when he was with you. All his walls, actually, came down when he was with you. 

“I don’t care, honestly. My question still stands.” He swallows thickly, begging you to say yes for both of your sakes. When his phone showed your contact photo for the seven seconds you called, it awakened grief in him he thought he’d buried years ago. By all accounts, Sakusa Kiyoomi desperately missed you. “I can be there in an hour. I’ll take a car, I don’t care how much it costs.” 

“It’s–it’s fine, you really should stay with your team and rest,” you mutter, always the selfless one worrying about his well-being. You were too good to him, letting him cancel plans for training camps and tournaments, always letting him go. “I don’t want you missing another flight if it comes up.” 

Too bad that, when it came to you, Kiyoomi had decided long ago he’d always be selfish. 

“Say you need me and I will be there.” You don’t hesitate. 

“I need you here, Omi,” you murmur. He’s gone in seconds–mind, body, and soul. His body acted instinctually, running on nothing else but the sole purpose of getting home to you. With a wad of cash and an Olympic athlete’s intellect calculating the fastest way to reach you, he vows that you would never need to say you needed him again.

Because he’d say he needed you instead.

if you enjoy my writing and would like to support me, you can buy me a coffee on my ko-fi! you can also check out my full masterlist here :)

[aureoaerosmith]

Thank you, Universe 🌌

A Kiyoomi Sakusa Fanfiction

Reblogs are appreciated

Sakusa noticed that Y/N had been quieter than usual in class. Her usual lively and enthusiastic demeanor was replaced with a somber and sullen expression. He couldn't help but feel concerned for her.

During recess, instead of heading to the courtyard to practice volleyball like he usually did, Sakusa found Y/N sitting alone in the library. She was staring blankly at a book, not even turning the pages. He approached her cautiously, not wanting to startle her.

"Hey," he said softly, "Is everything okay?"

Y/N shook her head slowly. "Not really," she whispered. "My friends have turned against me, and I'm failing my classes. I feel like a disappointment to everyone."

Sakusa didn't know what to say at first. He was not good with words, but he knew he had to do something to comfort her. So he suggested playing poker together.

Y/N looked at him incredulously. "Poker? But we don't even have cards."

Sakusa reached into his bag and pulled out a deck of cards. "I always carry them with me," he said with a small smile.

They played for a while, and Y/N found herself enjoying the game. She laughed when Sakusa's poker face slipped and he gave away a tell.

As they played, Sakusa noticed that Y/N's mood had improved. She seemed more relaxed and at ease. He took a chance and spoke up.

"You know," he said, "I don't really believe in a higher power or anything like that. But I do believe that everything happens for a reason. Maybe this is just a tough time for you, but it will make you stronger in the end."

Y/N looked at him, surprised. She had never heard him speak so openly before. But she found his words comforting, and she felt grateful for his support.

As they packed up the cards, Sakusa pulled out a bookmark from his bag and handed it to Y/N. "Here," he said, "I thought this might help you feel better."

Y/N looked at the bookmark, which had a beautiful illustration of a night sky with the words "Trust yourself. You can do this." written on it. She felt a warmth spread through her heart and tears prickled at the corners of her eyes.

"Thank you," she said softly, "I really needed this."

Y/N smiled, feeling touched by Sakusa's gesture. She realized that despite his cold exterior, he was a caring person who always carried a little bit of positivity with him.

She looked up at the sky and whispered, "Thank you, universe."

As they parted ways, Y/N couldn't help but think about Sakusa's words. Maybe everything that had been happening to her was just leading her to something better. And maybe, just maybe, the universe was conspiring to help her achieve her goals.

With renewed hope and determination, Y/N walked out of the library and into the world, ready to face whatever challenges lay ahead.

Note from the Author: Just so you know, that pic isn't mine! The fanfiction is actually the result of me feeding my wacky ideas to ChatGPT and seeing what it came up with. Thanks for checking it out, though!!!

[eternallyei]

a short one for sakusa kiyoomi ♡

fluff, sakusa kiyoomi x reader ~ 800 words

Usual dates be like, you’re going out with your boyfriend (or not yet one, you get me) and then everything’s romantic.

Holding hands, kissing, hugging, sharing things like snacks. I guess this is normal, right ?

But here’s the thing.. what if your boyfriend is slightly germophobic ?

Sakusa really tries though, but holding hands more than some seconds is hard. Kissing has never been one of his favorite thing either.

Dates ? Oof..

"no love, I prefer we go out on another day.. there seems to be.. a lot of people outside.."

Crowded places definitely aren’t his thing..

But you two do have dates though, that’s for sure. Not everyday of the week but you do, and they’re the best moments.

Sakusa tries to make things unforgettable for you from the beginning of you two. He really is adorable, also a little perfectionist, we must admit.

He gives you all his attention, looks at your gestures and listens to everything you’re saying. Even the 'one thought' things are heard, he never skips any of your words.

He loves it when you get shy from how fast his responding while you were just thinking out loud. He easily gets you flustered.

His eyes tell you everything about what he’s feeling, they’re just too expressive. Sakusa usually got his mask on or just tends to not smile that much, and expressing his feelings are hard for him.

But he loves you with all his being, you’re special to him, and you know it by the way his eyes always wander around your features.

He’s so down bad for you, but anyway-

That very special day was when you two went to this fancy place. You wanted to have a nice little cake for the afternoon walk, and Sakusa got your back again.

You two were walking, and looking around to find some place to pull Sakusa into and sit for a good little 'recovery'.

Suddenly, Sakusa takes out a hand from his pocket and tugs at your sleeve.

"this one, it looks clean and empty"

It doesn’t look only clean and empty actually.. but let’s say that’s what he saw first ?

It was actually pretty, the facade was black and the inside was classy and pretty much cozy.

Taking out a tissue, he opened the door and you were hit by a smell of coffee and.. and soap ? But it smelled good.

You two got to a table, things were done like they should and here you were waiting for your order while talking about the leaves decoration.

Sakusa preferred to look at you, knowing well he would feel things going up his spine if he began to think about whatever could hide between the leaves.

"can i take a picture of you?"

He asks, while you nod. He does as said and stares at the photo. 'you look pretty' that’s what it meant.

He cleans the little spoon you were about to eat with, with another tissue and then you two eat your cakes together.

He takes a bite, you too. Another one, and then you think.. why not?

"can i have a bite of yours, please?"

"mine?"

"yes, i want to taste how yours is"

"..okay"

Then he cuts a small part with his spoon and goes to put it on your plate. But nope, you gently grab his wrist and lead it to your mouth.

His eyes widen for a second, he slightly gasps as if he wanted to say something.. and then he tighten his lips and looks back at his cake.

The poker faced man has finally been defeated. It seems he stopped breathing for a split second, before his cheeks got pink.

He’s so stressed about whatever just happened. In a good way though, he’s just.. not used to this.

Your small giggle gets him out of his blank moment.

"how is it?"

"it tastes sweet"

And this was the beginning of a bunch of event that helped him out with his phobia, at least a little with you.

He isn’t confortable with everything yet, but kissing you more than before is something he feels more confortable doing.

He loves how your lips always taste sweet and soft, it never fails to make him blush. He sometimes smiles when the kiss gets a little longer than usual.

It just tickles. Tickles his sweet heart and brain.

And, every morning he stares at the post-its he leaves you on the fridge before he goes training.

The words that describe his feelings. Words that he never manages to tell you face-to-face.

His favorite ones has been..

"All I want is you with me, today, tomorrow, and every day until we both give our last breath away"

"Words can’t describe how I feel for you"

And.. "i love you"

hope you liked it.

anyway, bye bye (=

©eternallyei. please do not copy/translate/use as your own.

[panally]

More than Enemies- Chapter One

My last job as an assassin was him, Sakusa Kiyoomi.

Would have thought the key to my freedom lay in the death of an underworld mob boss and not just any mob boss but the goddam heir to the Russian empire. Just my luck.

I marked him for months, my job clean with no slip-ups. This was supposed to be the perfect job, a record for the book so how did I end up blindfolded, cuffed, and wet in some storeroom that stank like broken dreams and missed freedom.

How did I get here? The last thing I remembered was being at the airport, Mr. Kiyoomi's plane was to land any minute and I was well prepared to nab my chance with his death. I had seen him through my dark shades as he strode with authority down to his waiting car where I had installed a bomb, I just needed him close, and boom! So close, with each step he took I held my breath but then nothing, I was here. . .

I didn't say a word and made effort not too move much in my attempt to feign still being unconscious. Try to assess my situation and know who in the world would court their end by taking me.

I heard heavy footsteps approach me and I steadied my breathing, almost to nothing. "Boss, she still sleeping."

"Is she now?" That voice, I know that voice. "Leave us." Sakusa bloody Kiyoomi.

He knew all along I was on his tail, played my game, and won like a master. Well, fuck me.

"Keep pretending girl and I will make it real_" in a low voice he said. "Permanently."

I raised my head, not that I could see him but I could tell where to look.

He may have seen through my plans and kidnapped me but he had nothing on a ghost, try as he may wondering who the stunning girl who rocked in everything black is, I didn't exist anywhere so he may have said his checkmate but the queen still has a role to play.

With a sweet smile on, I started a new game. "Hello,"