#there you go i need to study them again
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I think the most unrealistic thing about TSC and TGR is Jean NOT ONCE mixing the prepositions in, on and at
#im projecting#but i swear prepositions are so hard 💀#i’ve studied them extensively multiple times and i still mix them up all the time#jean’s the goat for mastering them#but at the same time he says he can’t read good so yknow#we win some we lose some#nora should throw some grammar mistakes on book three#or in book three?#there you go i need to study them again#aftg#tgr#tsc#the golden raven#the sunshine court#jean moreau#all for the game
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i think part of my problem is i lived with my best friend for two years of my life and have been searching for the same feeling of joy & acceptance & support ever since
#like I’ve sat down and had a think about it and the times I’ve felt the least lonely in the last 5+ years are when my roommates were close#friends I could pray with/laugh with/cry with/unmask with#something something you can’t keep trying to go back somewhere that doesn’t exist anymore you need to go forward#but the only way I can see myself thriving is if I can live with people/someone who feel(s) like home#and I know that can come with time and you meet new people and make new friends and settle down somewhere and slowly build yourself a life#but how do you do that without dying along the way#and I’m here in this new state and I’m trying to be content but there’s the very real possibility everything is going to change *again*#later this year and I just. I’m done I want it all to be over I want to get to find someone and commit my life to them and get to know we’r#we’re gonna figure it out together#and bitterness is so tempting right now bc unless God heals & transforms & really really surprises me#(all of which He CAN do but I just have never thought that was His desire for me); unless that happens I will probably be alone for the#rest of my life#and I can write essays on the importance of platonic friendships and how good and beautiful it is to value them but that grows weaker and#weaker the older you get the more all your friends seek marriage and find their other halves and you’re still. just. There#it’s nearly midnight and I should write a poem instead of processing in the tags of a post but really I may just go to bed#I’m so glad I have a phone call and prayer group to look forward to tomorrow#and the Bible study tonight was good <3 some things were hard about it but my soul was comforted#and I may have even more questions but at the very least right now I know God is Love#and that is the bottom line of any answer that I seek#….which I guess maybe loops back to the processing too. I know He is love I know He’s supposed to be sufficient#so what do you do when that doesn’t FEEL like enough#God I believe help my unbelief. please#elle rambles#[y]#/p
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Hello! I hope it's not rude to chit-chat as an anon. I saw your Mouthwashing post where you said you didn't like Anya, and all of the characters have flaws for sure, but I wanted to defend her a little bit.
Anya picked the pills because they were all she had access to in the medical room. She couldn't use the gun because she didn't have the code to open the case. She chose to kill herself in the medical room because it was unsuspicious for her to be in there and it was one of two rooms with a lock on the door. (The only other room is the cockpit).
I'm not sure if this makes it better or worse, but I also personally think Anya wanted Curly to die too. I don't think she liked leaving him helpless at the hands of Jimmy and she couldn't bear to give him the pills. The door was the only way in besides the broken vent, which I don't think she imagined anyone getting through, so when she locked it, I think she thought that was the end.
Not sure if any of that paints her in a more favorable light, but I wanted to put it out there. Have a nice night/day.
Nah that's totally cool to!
Tbf when I mean to say I don't like Anya is I mainly dislike how people seem to gloss over a lot of her flaws and zero in on her assault, almost in a way victimizing her further. It makes me honestly sad to see how she isn't really discussed as a character while her assault is picked apart in every way possible, because she is a very interesting woman when you put together all the little pieces.
I guess to me with my understanding of her ability to quickly study things is that she still had options to take her life. I believe she could have figured something out in a room full of medical equipment and her own hands. I don't mean that in a callous way, and I also want to clarify I don't find Anya taking her life selfish in itself. She has every right to decide what to do with her own life even if it's to end it.
About the gun: it's such bittersweet irony of it being in the medbay completely useless to everyone, even Jimmy since he had to go find the code anyways. The lightbulb moment I had seeing where Anya hid it makes me further commend the storytelling because wow that just absolutely sucks. You're right and I overlooked that she didn't have the code, my bad.
Personally as a MA and someone physically disabled, though definitely not to the extent of Curly, Anya's choices make me mad. I see a patient completely bedbound and reliant on others to survive, which Anya definitely should have too, having his choices once again taken from him. The fact that they were friends only makes that more cruel to me, Curly couldn't even look away from seeing her die. No matter how she felt about him in the end Curly was ultimately reliant on others and, in that moment, Anya's decisions.
It becomes very interesting to then look at how she went about things especially considering it all. If Anya truly believed in a way she was protecting Curly, which tbh was odd considering there seemed to be a tense lull in things at that point, she still doomed him to suffer and either starve or die of infection. Curly doesn't have the ability to say he wants to live or die, he just has to accept what Anya decides for him through her own choices. She also took the ability from the rest of the crew to even just see him and vice versa. Anya saying she was finally taking responsibility for herself in turn took away the choices of everyone else and the ripple that led to how things finally ended because of the way she decided to do so.
And that absolutely fascinates me with her character! I don't find her favorable but I do find her very interesting! To me Anya's decisions and character adds another highlight to how choices and autonomy are things so precious yet can be taken away instantly by oneself or another person no matter the feelings behind the intention.
#im very autistic about this game im sorry for the dump oops#also im s/ck so i can only sleep and spend hrs in bed flicking brain channels#i want to also add that being in the med field means you have to push aside everything to provide optimal care no matter what-#even if it's someone you have issues with you have a duty to treat them and your choices could mean life or death#so to me it's the added frustration of seeing her go against what she's been taught to do and leaving curly to fend for himself#to me you fight for them until the bitter end because THEY NEED YOU and you have their life in your hands#again it adds to the study of morality and expectations of anya and it's honestly cool to brainrot about it#anyways nah yeah you're cool dude it's awesome hearing the povs of others with this#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game
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Chapter 419 Analysis or "How to make allies not pawns" a helpful guide from League of Villains (part 2)
This is now a second part of Tomura character analysis.
With chapter 419 being probably our last time seeing Tomura for a while, since we need to learn what happened with Aizawa now is time to remember that not only bad things exist it Tomura's life.
Warning of spoilers to the whole manga to the point of chapter 419! All of the warnings from My Villain Academy side of manga are applicable
So like... mentions of death, killing other people, manipulation, emotional abuse and many more!
This is Part 2 - See here for Part 1 of this depressing mess
With AFO being so sure that he knows better and actually controlled every single part of Tenko's life creating a Symbol of Fear without any redeeming qualities or even hope for saving after he destroys him. There's one thing that AFO still doesn't understand about Tomura and never did - and that's his allies, or the League of Villains that he created.
Even Kurogiri, being a Nomu who's views do not stray from what AFO thought was important didn't exactly understand what did Tomura think about his allies quick to assume that he thought of them as pawns all the was back in the Training Camp arc. With Tomura making game examples to explain the situation, he still didn't think of LoV as just pawns on a desk, like AFO does.
At the time of USJ arc there weren't many people Tomura called this, which could make you wonder how much it was just AFO's plan rather than Tomura's with him never worrying about those other villains yet getting so worked up over losing Nomu not only because he was strong enough to defend him from All-Might, but treating his defeat as something that must be avenged.
And that was long before Stain even entered the picture, the first of three people who greatly affected Tomura's view of his own motives alongside AFO's manipulation of literally everything else.
Tomura was terrified of fighting All-Might seconds before this and yet as this goes on it's becoming more noticeable - Tomura doesn't care for his own fear or worries as long as he's fighting for someone else's good. Not so different from how Izuku is ready to disregard himself for the sake of others, resulting in many injuries and being so close to dying so many times.
It never was a secret that Tomura is highly dependent on others to keep himself from losing confidence, or even will to fight, getting either too anxious to continue without anyone's reassurance.
And while AFO's "help" was mostly given only with some kind of lesson as we saw in "Tomura Shigaraki: Origin", with AFO literally sitting there, saying how Tenko is weak for not killing but showing some restrain instead suffering himself, never actually helping or comforting him. Only offering what he deemed nessesary for his own plan of making Tenko kill those thugs not caring that he's feeling sick from those hands.
But in USJ it's not AFO who's there with Tomura, it's Kurogiri, who was shown to still have some care that Shirakumo had that even Aizawa and Mic couldn't argue that it's similar to how Shirakumo couldn't just leave a kitten in the rain. No matter the responsibility that it would bring with taking a little one in.
A helpless little kitten that didn't get the help it needs from anyone else. Sounds way too familiar.
This never was a direct order from AFO other than he needs to "tend and protect" for Tomura, which can mean anything from just looking out when Tomura's sick, or protect him from any tread like someone trying to kill him.
Not helping him getting over his anxiety to fight or helping him and guiding him to do better as a leader of the League calming him if it got out of control. Which is somewhat opposite to the way AFO deals with Decay and Tomura's temper - letting him destroy anything even the hands that he gave him, just offering new ones when he succeedes and never really caring for his pawns, he can always get new ones.
And surely not asking if Tomura's well the first thing while talking to Heroes.
Which then leads us back to how Tomura never viewed anyone that he chose as pawns calling them his allies, with the word '仲間' which can even be translated as friends in needed context, but usually used as comrade or ally when Tomura says it. And the same thing is usually translated as "friend" when used by Twice.
In any case Tomura never once doubted his allies since he saw them as reliable, even if his first meeting with Toga and Dabi went so wrong that Kurogiri had to stop them from killing each other.
Up to the point of Training Camp AFO describes as him teaching Tomura to be independent which was at that point too far from the truth than he thought. If Tomura begging for AFO to leave with them is any indicator he actually was even less independent after All-Might almost caught them, making him doubt his own worth as a leader. Even if AFO's defeat finally let him think and wonder about himself and his past.
AFO believed that Tomura just knowing how to recruit people would suddenly make him great at using those new "pawns" which was proven wrong by Overhaul no so long after that. Showing how Tomura believed the same thing AFO did as well, fully trusting his judgement of anything including himself, all the while parroting what AFO says without fully understanding what it means.
Only after losing both Magne and Mr. Compress arm does Tomura slowly start making progress in becoming someone more than AFO tells him to do. Even if as we see in part 1 it used Decay as the ground to make it stable since he believed it was his quirk. And yet.
Even if Tomura didn't simply instruct his allies how to choose who to recruit, he never blamed them for it. On the opposite, when Twice was hard on himself after bringing Overhaul to them Tomura just looked at them for the first time without a hand on his face, or even on himself at all, showing how he trusts them as much as he would trust himself and believes that they can do it.
Taking off hands of his family would mean not relying on the conflicting feelings that they bring into the picture, something AFO would very much dissaprove, since he was now like an equal to everyone in LoV instead of being above them. He
And with this instead of making them blindly trust his decisions and following him from fear or adoration like people had been following AFO or Overhaul, he instead was an equal to them both in failure and victory that wasn't even all that guaranteed yet.
Each one of them had their own somewhat selfish goal that just seemed like they were just using each other without any worry being each other's pawns. Or maybe that's just how AFO would see them.
Yet it doesn't explain why did Toga care for Twice's trauma response of not having his mask on, since he already did his part and all that they both needed to do was done. But LoV was never about following orders or giving them, expecting for the pawns to follow without question. It was about a leader of the group that would stand up for his allies while allowing them full freedom, except when they needed to also accept that something is needed to be done for their own sake.
Like following Overhaul for a while all for cutting off his hands leaving him with nothing. Did that sound like something reasonable to do? No! They literally lost their chance at having sushi instead of just living at some abadoned building all the while occasionally searching for money or food, stealing and killing just to survive all while Tomura was just... waiting.
Nothing was really stable at the start of what we call My Villain Academia and yet no one from the LoV left while their state was... bad at the very least. No matter how AFO was teaching Tomura he was still left mostly waiting for something to happen rather than doing something to change the situation himself.
Sure, Tomura now was a famous leader of League of Villains that suddenly needed to be stopped rather that underestimated like before. But that was in the future, now LoV was laying low on funds and slowly Tomura showing his face became the norm, with him usually never wearing hands around LoV.
And with Tomura becoming more and more comfortable around LoV, the LoV itself was becoming more like a place that had one core value that accepted anything else added without anyone wondering about the past of others, like Compress said. Just some selfish people, who still followed their own needs first.
And yet somehow Toga, who joined just because she loved Stain and disliked how life was too hard found her place in the LoV alongside Twice who just needed to be trusted and trust in return. If Tomura only followed what AFO deemed to be the best way to lead no one would actually feel like they're accepted in the LoV as much as they were.
Goal or no goal Tomura succeeded even without having the whole world at the palm of his hands by just never pressing anyone to actually follow him - if they wanted to they could've just left here and there, but since they chose to follow he did what he thought was the obvious best - let his allies do what they wanted.
Which was okay for someone like Toga or Dabi who were either already comfortable by just being allowed to be themselves or being free to plan their own things for their own goals.
But not exactly that for Spinner. Who was instead literally searching for someone to show him what to do, not so different from Tomura, who still only followed whatever 'his Sensei' deemed worthy for him to look into, like letting Kurogiri go find unknown "power" that AFO left along with contact with Doctor.
And while Spinner was not fine with still being hollow even while following Tomura pretending that it's the same thing as following Stain... all it took for him to look differently at how exactly was Tomura thinking was the last real "barrier" that there was - Tomura basically spilling his whole backstory and motivations mostly for LoV to listen to, since Doctor was just testing Tomura's will all according to AFO's plan.
And after that it didn't took too long for Spinner to now follow Tomura, even if it was still not the time to really see the 'warped horizon that was waiting for them'. And yet in times where Tomura still showed some doubt over his decisions - that one old trait of his showing up like it was always at the back of his head not so different from USJ, only thing changing that Tomura got better and better at not letting his emotions control him so easily.
Since the price of that would literally be lifes of his allies.
And neither that or using their emotions to his own benefit was ever in his plans, contrast to AFO manipulating Tomura to do just that. Letting his emotions consume him completely just for his own goal and for his own sake. But as a person who was so familiar with this Tomura still was adamant at NOT allowing something like this to happen to his friends allies.
Effectively creating a bond between all six of them, including Toya that in the end kept them together until the very final arc, with Spinner keeping what Tomura would've thought and with him waking up and calling Machia to get LoV first and foremost Spinner did understand their's leader wishes, as well as Twice's who literally died for his friends.

With all that happening in the War arc the moment AFO returned with both being in control of Tomura's body and just abadoned anything that Tomura would care for like leaving Mr. Compress and Machia behind just to punish him for not getting OFA or not even caring to show any actual respect for Tomura's wishes. Instead showing how little he actually cared for anything but his own good.
But while AFO made so many pawns that he could change like gloves at any given moment, threating them and manipulating them with his power and quirks, Tomura only had 6 allies who stayed after AFO was caught and who were willing to die just to live the life they wanted.
And AFO couldn't give them that.
Even if Decay isn't Tenko's quirk and even if he has so much guilt for killing without it being a little bit justified by it...
LoV still followed him as a person who allowed them to live as they please and so what they want, not some all-powerfull overlord but an ally and a leader who had his flaws and fallings.
#bnha#shigaraki tomura#tenko shimura#league of villains#bnha manga spoilers#bnha analysis#character analysis#character study#kurogiri#toga himiko#twice#dabi#spinner#mr compress#and All For One can go to hell I won't tag him again#with the Kurogiri part you may notice how I just want to see Kurogiri actually helping Tomura#it's either him or mr. compress now#and yeah the fact that both Twice and Himiko died remembering LoV was painful#AFO calling Tenko weak all the while he himself didn't make any lasting good empression like that on anyone#while Tenko just was like 'yeah my friends need something they'll get it'#insert that one page where he literally just got them sushi first thing after becoming a new MLA commander#how dares AFO call Tenko pitiful if he literally did his best with what he had#all the while AFO just made his life insufferable for him to be angry and hateful#and yes I didn't call them family or friends for the most part since the canon INSISTS that Tomura is saying allies#which is a really neutral way to say friends imo#I'm still thinking about a Tangled crossover with LoV like Tomura literally got his only taste of freedom with LoV by his side#bnha 419#my villain academia#five years later and it's still the best arc of MHA#an honestly it's more of a ch 418 analysis
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this works with any of them but specifically if langdon became an attending and july 1st there's a new first year resident who means well and knows her stuff and great with patients but has a horrible issue with avoiding eye contact and shaking like a leaf after every encounter with him since he's the scary grumpy divorced attending and she is just a newbie. walk with me here guys
#first of all i know i have a problem#but second of all imagine you're already shy. you always keep it together in front of patients but it comes out around your peers way more#how it's nerve wracking to keep asking for help or having questions or admitting that you don't know something because it feels you should#and a lot of them are great! and helpful and kind and you knew what you signed up for-you love this because normally there's no time#to be shy and restrained and second guess yourself#but everytime you're paired with him. !! him !! you just can't keep it together because you're scared but you don't stop trying#and HE is in love. he wants to take care of someone. he wants to feel normal again and you help him do that#everytime you smile sweetly at a patient and get more confident which each passing day#if you only you'd stop running away everytime you turn around and find langdon right behind you#oh i need to go study for my exam goodbye i've already exposed way too much about myself with this#frank langdon
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I have a question about your overall thesis on motherhood and Loustat. You said the line “a wolf congratulated for not killing her pups line” was “definitely about motherhood”. As for your take on the final scene of Louis looking at a painting of a mother and daughter in a scene that’s very much about him coming to terms with his loss, as his daughter’s dress hangs in the background: “The maternal side there I can see, but I don't think it's as absolute as others, just personally.” Am I correct in thinking you believe the show suggests Lestat is more closely aligned with the role of mother than Louis in their family dynamic?
I mean, I'd argue that I don't have a thesis, anon. This isn't Tumblr University, I'm not writing dissertations, and you're certainly not peer reviewing me when you send asks like this that are pretty blatantly trying to goad me into arguing a point you want to rebut.
But no, I'll answer in good faith, and say that I think Claudia's mother is dead and that she has two fathers, and the desire in this fandom to ask 'well, which one is the mother' is just another way of asking a gay couple 'well, which one's the woman?' Neither of them are, and the fact that they don't fit into a heteronormative understanding of what a family is is, I would argue, literally the point of the unholy family.
When I talked about Lestat's line about being a wolf as being about motherhood, that - to me - is about connecting him to his past, and relating him back to his own mother, and I also think from the show's writers perspective, it's about Anne.
Lestat's mother in TVL is the one who relates child birth to Lestat killing the wolves, and it was Lestat killing the wolves that lead to his own death, as it's a part of why Magnus picks him. He is sitting on that stage now watching the death of his child, in the city he died in, in the city his mother did too. It makes sense to me that he would be thinking of his mother, who birthed five dead children, who lost two more through mob execution in the French Revolution, as his own daughter is executed. It makes sense to me that that would relate back to Gabrielle's major, arguably character-defining monologue from TVL where she talks about child birth as an act both violent and entirely isolating, so as to be like killing wolves alone in the woods, and it makes sense to me in that moment that Lestat would relate for the first time not to being the killer, but to being the thing that he hunted. It's death, violence, isolation, loneliness, birth, all things Anne relates to motherhood in TVL.
Which is to say it's thematic, not literal, because Anne - a woman, and the author of this female gothic series - was clearly interested in exploring death and motherhood as a theme, which makes sense as she herself is a mother who experienced the loss of a child. It's not about literally saying that Lestat is 'more closely aligned with the role of mother', it's a scene that - again, to me - feels like it's in conversation with the female gothic components of the books, with Anne, and with a formative experience in Lestat's life as he's on the cusp of experiencing a new one.
Regardless of that though, Lestat is Claudia's maker, but he's also his mother's maker, Louis', Nicki's, Antoinette's - it's not always a parental act. In fact, it's usually not for him, and I don't think it is for Louis who made Madeleine either. There is a blood bond there though between Lestat and Claudia that does not exist between Louis and Claudia. Does that make him her mother? I don't think so, no, but it does add a layer to their specific dynamic that Louis doesn't have with her because, again, he did not make her.
The scene with Louis and the painting and Claudia's dress at the end is a loving act, absolutely, and it's a scene that I adore, but it's also intrinsically tied to the painting of Paul, and the apartment with Armand (which inherently calls upon their fractured dynamic in Paris where Louis existed as Claudia's brother too), which to me, shifts the meaning away from motherhood specifically. Again, I can appreciate that other people read it as being maternal, and obviously I think Louis' her parent, not her brother, but in terms of the visual language of that sequence, I think it's a lot wider than some acknowledge.
So no! You are not correct in your thinking, anon. :-)
#are you the same anon i said was being a bit silly yesterday?#because the language in your ask feels like a hard swing y'know?#look i know i talk a bit about my academic history#but i am also not here to get a make believe doctorate in fandom studies lol#i'm just here to have a good time#and my opinions might change on things who's to say#again though i don't think either of them is the mother although they are both her parents#i do need to finish my long reply on the wolfkiller thread at some point#not today though#today i am writing haha#but yeah the nature of tvc as a female gothic series is that it's going to explore certain themes#that doesn't mean the characters are 'female-coded' though#it just means certain themes are baked into#it's a feature of the genre#and i think embracing these things as thematic and not literal can be very freeing#it's kind of funny that the take away from lestat relating to the mother wolf too is the pronouns instead of the animal he picks#but that feels right re: this fandom#lestat asks#iwtv 2.07#iwtv 2.08#louis asks#vampire family discourse
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(vent in the tags) me thinking i've finally escaped financial problems: :DDDDD
life:
#idk why the image pasted like that but anyways haha im once again in a fucking pit#last month i was able to accumulate enough savings from collectively work and also other stuff#so i have a bit of extra in case of emergencies and additional expenses like taxes and stuff#but then guess who decided to not tell me he can't send me money by the end of the month - the time when i have to pay rent?#:DDD my beloved father#so i end up using the savings to pay for it#and i dont blame him or im not mad at him at all#especially because sending me money is already enough of a privilege that not a lot of people have#but at the very least if you don't think you can send me money can't you just tell me?#that way i can work for it???#because now im literally sitting with no money with food running out quickly in the fridge#i can't pick up a shift because whether its out of town or in my city it doesn't matter#i have no way to transport myself there other than on foot or on my bike#and i cant even cycle there without eating otherwise i'd basically sentence myself to death#so im trying to get by without eating for a couple of days right now but its just#sigh#i keep telling my father that i don't blame him and im not mad at him if he can't send me money when i need him to#but please tell me because i literally cannot take a shift this month because i need to study for the exams#and if i fail these exams i literally have one more chance to do them or else i have to repeat a year#which is going to cost us more in the long run#and just#yeah#maybe the hunger is getting to my head#im not going to open emergency comms this time because technically speaking i do have a job i can do#its just i need to just wait for the money that was supposed to be in my bank account to be sent#so i can eat and also i can have money for transportation#haku vents#venting#yeah no im just not in a good spot right now#apologies to mutuals and friends if i can't be on often
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"Noé" being the name of the biblical savior of all life.
"Vanitas" meaning vanity, futility, something that is ultimately meaningless and doesn't last. I am unwell.
#there is also this interesting thing going on where their dynamic clearly represents the conflict between selfishness and selflessness#but vanitas ends up being the successful savior despite doing it for his own benefit#while noé fails to save the people he actually cares about time and time again#I'm very curious about how they're gonna handle the theme of salvation and what it really means#I think it's implied that killing vanitas would be an act of salvation for him#when his formula gets rewritten to the point he's no longer himself#but chloe d'apchier's storyline seems to kind of contradict the notion that death is the answer and a perfect escape#and with how vanitas views himself as a lost cause already... wouldn't it be nice if they kind of turned it around#like no. you don't get to die. you need to life and that's harder#because I think showing a character who doesn't see a future for themselves and has given up on hope#be forced to confront the fact that that's not the case at all. that there is in fact hope for them#would be more interesting that simply proving them right#<<me delusional about a character that's clearly doomed by the narrative#vnc#the case study of vanitas#moje
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americans being unable to say that there are people who are certifiably smarter than you and better than you at many things is why we got to this place in the first place. like no the "research" you did on the covid vaccine is not better than the research done by the scientists that have degrees in the field. you are actually dumber than them in this area because they have spent far more time in it. you have so little knowledge on the subject that you don't even know what you don't know. obviously
#this is the same for like every field btw. i’m not as good of a writer as people who went to school for writing. or art. or architecture#or physics or etc etc etc#i AM a better chemical engineer than people who didn't go to school for it#american individualism ruining everyones life once again#this isn't to say you can’t be intelligent or know anything if you didn't go to school for it. but you have to be able to acknowledge that#there are some things you are dumb about!! regardless of education level#and there are ways to study up on topics in a non-academic setting (and you should do this!!) but those methods need to be reputable#and not joe rogan.com#like there are WAYS science is verified for example. and if you don't know those and you go into reading a paper or a “study” you can VERY#easily be lead astray because you simply don't know what you don't know you are not always the smartest person in the room#MOST of the time you're not actually#and no one can admit that anymore!!!!!!!!!!!!! so they just believe and do whatever they think they know instead of asking questions#and learning things#they just blindly believe they are right and they like the people who don't challenge them so now trump is in power#(this is why they want to dismantle the doe by the way)
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do you know what its something that i hate. teachers that are pieces of shit and take a big part of your grade because the person you had to work with didnt do their part and because of that you said hey. ill do all myself!!! just gotta add that they didnt work!!!! and the teacher says fuck you get a 70 this is what you get for not doing every single possible way of communication with your partner to get them to write one (1) one thing in this paper
#mind you i had been sending emails over and over and over AND OVER to this person and they just. ignored it.#<- i study online#<- we are in fucking university come ON MAN JUST READ THE EMAILS#i even asked on the whatsapp group if they had their number!!! no one had it!!!#and then in the class!!! the piece of shit says!!!! sorry i didnt see the activity but eh we got a 70 right? KILL YOURSE#studyblr#uniblr#uni life#even more of a piece of shit of a teacher bcs ???? what the fuck???? so alllllll my research gets me less of a grade of what i deserve#but this fucker gets a 70 FOR FREEE#and my teacher has the audacity to send ME an email saying well you shouldve tried to yknow. get them to work!#HOW????? HOW THE FUCK AM I GOING TO GET THEM TO WORK IF IM JUST YELLING AT A VOID WITHOUT GETTING AN ANSWER???????#I EVEN ADDED ON THE ACTIVITY THAT I WASNT ABLE TO CONTACT THEM BEFORJANkdsfdsmahf#hipster looking ass teacher when you go to the barber shop your hair WILL get fucked#you WILL have a ugly fade and your glasses will crack#I hate this teacher so much this isnt even all that he has done and its been only 4 weeks#i need this man to be struck down by zeus rays and for him to never wake up again#college#university#study#<- study mentioned but i feel my will to study go bye bye thanks to this man#coronangelic1 thoughts
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I'm kinda late to the info but damn—I really have no words but disappointment ww
#tbh raiemo did feel rushed and as a cover up for the disaster from erm... years before#and i remember like early on?? someone mention that broccoli's hiring for a mobile game and i assume it's for raiemo?#they're definitely like little chicks who just hatched to the world =w=#i know utapri is their ip and they probably wanted to handle it themselves unlike before#but i hope they actually HIRE ppl who knows things around y'know#their game system kinda feels ancient ngl#they really need to do research and reach out to other game dev and just... study them more?? or maybe just hire them pls----#plus since this is a rhythm game i'm begging you broccoli go and hire some other good charters :"))#like yeah there's a few beatmaps that i like here and there but sorry not sorry most of them are... something(?)#the whole starish tours campaign was such a disappointment... why in the hell most of them are so low lvl :/#to me the only good things from raiemo is prolly the actually good main story + haruka's existence and mentions of other sub characters#seeing shining in action once again kinda reminds me of old days#private story is like 50:50 for me#like there's some that I like and some that just give me ???#it kinda shows that haruka is written to suits the idols there :/#this game could actually be good if they properly planned it and didn't just...rush things
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the unfortunate state of sonic cartoons where everything from the 90s looks Like That and even if one of them has a supposedly interesting premise the aesthetic repels me, sonic x has chris and a pacing that iirc was the main reason i ended up dropping it, boom exists to be funny and while it accomplishes that goal and is an enjoyable watch it isn't terribly compelling beyond that and fun aesthetics, and prime is multiverse slop that i would not be able to digest even if i tried to. like you'd think they could do more with a furry guy who oozes the dictionary definition of cool and yet
#soda offers you a can#was thinking abt prime again and it just encompasses the core of why im disinterested in the general idea of AUs#“i have put the blorbo in a funny hat” cool does the setting enrich their character in any significant way#are you exploring aspects of their personality that are hinted at but suppressed in their natural habitat#are you forcing them to have conversations they would otherwise be unable to have#are you elaborating on what their relationship with another character would be like if they were allowed to know each other for longer#or did you just want a funny hat to make merch out of#yes i know they do something interesting with the dystopia cyborg tails but is that the extend of it#does pirate rouge get a distinct character study or is she there for window dressing#old man yells at cartoons i need to go and start weight painting
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I NEED. TO DO. OR MAKE SOMETHING. PLEASE
#actually I haven’t had this overwhelming creative energy in a while it feels TERRIBLE thank you very much#okay the thing is. there’s like many things actually so I am going to go Explode in the tags now#the first thing that I am like painfully terribly aching to do is Write something#I talked about this the other day but like. first of all I haven’t added anything to my poems collection for a while and the other day I re#d this beautifully beautifully written story and now I’m like. INEED. TO WRITE A FUCKINGN BOOK#and then there’s also Knitting. a few months ago we impulsively purchased a bunch of knitting tools and now it’s just sitting in my house b#cause I tried it once and I couldn’t do it so I kind of. gave up. now suddenly I want to like. knit a scarf AND ITS EATING AWAY AT ME#I NEED TO LIKE. SIT DOEN AND WATCH A YOUTUBE TUTORIAL AND MAN I COULD TOTALLY DO THAT BECAUSE IM ON HOLIDAY#BUT LIKE. THERES A MILLION OTHER THINGS I WANT TO DO SO IF COURSE THE OPTION MY BRAIN PICKS IS#DO NOTHING AT ALL.#also this is a bit of a silly one but like. I have this long long loooong list in my notes app that I started in 2021#and it’s just Big words. and like. the thing is they used to stick in my brain. I used to be able to add them to the list and use it whenev#needed. now I just write it down and it’s GONE and that makes me want to put myself in an oven because WHY.#I NEED. TO BE THAT PERSON. WITH THE USELESSLY ABYSSAL VOCABULARY#SO I REALLY JUST WABT TO SIT DOWN FOR 2 HOURS AND MEMORISE AND STUDY BUT then again. my brain is all or nothing and#usually it is the latter#another thing is my sketchbook. haven’t added to that in a while and I want to do that but then I will have to wait til sunset or daylight#because I physically cannot create art with artificial electrical light. but then I’ll have to wait til tomorrow and#I really also want to go outside and just exist before I have no time to after break ends#so Yeah.
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why is life so hard
#for those who dont know i'm retaking med exams#because i didnt pass them last year#and im just so... sad#because it's never easy#why do all my friends get the life i dreamed of? and i stay here#1) i dont have a job 2) i live with my parents#3) my twin sister has a fianceé and lives in another country for gods sake#can you name a bigger disappointment? my TWIN sister#rock bottom. again.#i promised i wasnt going to let my emotions play such a big part again but#i just cant#it's inhumane#i do everything i can and i'm still dumb and i can't fix this#and it's not even that hard i'm just not good enough for this#sorry i needed to vent urgently#yes it's all i've wanted and all i've dreamed of#so i'll keep trying but wow. it breaks my heart#i studied so hard. for so long. i did everything i could. it's such a hard lesson#sometimes it's not enough#sometimes it doesn't happen because I physically can't push past my intelligence#i'm simply not intelligent for this#i know i'm victimizing myself but wow i wanted it so bad#i spent days dreaming about it and nights studying#and to see friends get positions i wanted just breaks my heart#always watching never participating#yes i've learned when I was 13 i was way less intelligent than my sister but still#this was such a different path from hers and i still couldnt do it#now i have no idea what to do because it's a fortune every year to pay for these exams#and i dont know if theres anything else i could do#sofia rambles
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Another important thing though...
#is just like how takumi is already loved and cherished and has his own things going on#so much so that he's never excluded or 'chosen over'. when it comes to moe/alfonse/the dynamics there#and VERY MUCH . the same way takumi makes the choice/has the opinion himself 'yeah you guys are insane. LMFAO'#mani is never unwanted.#WELL. huge fucking disclaimers and citations needed BUT. BUT. the biggest thing IS#how eventually alfonse does come to love and care for mani. just in a different way he does w moe#and the takumi comparison is directly in reference to me deciding. it's not that deep actually#takumi again has plenty of connections and his own problems AND. his own feelings about things.#mani is somewhat similar. in the same way i'm using my authority to give it the agency#of. mani doesn't want alfonse to love it the way alfonse loves moe. moe doesn't want alfonse to love mani the way he loves moe.#alfonse understands this. respects this. and his feelings are mutual. he does fundementally have different feelings about them.#anyways again mani is just. a study in SO many things.#also it's extremely fascinating to pick every character's brain here when you factor in lif#for the record i don't think lif even knows mani exists (in. the non-existent way it does.)#i think his moe died before then.#but i'm moreso talking about like. digging into The Character Studies. why moe feels the way it does about lif#why alfonse feels the way it does about mani. and why both alfonse and moe feel the way they do about each other Specifically.#and the core differences between lif and mani. which informs how moe and alfonse feels abt them respectively#THERE'S JUST... A LOT..... GOING ON HERE........#mani tag
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getting my driving licence tomorrow.. 😐
#for the record when i say i got it so I'd have it later i mean my licence. i did not want nor get a car ->#i feel really bad for my car coz brother i am never ever gonna drive you sorry. devil's machine#literally living in a city with one of the best public transports in the entire world and my parents expect me to drive...#i got it so I'd have it but like broooo im not gonna drive anywhere i fucking hate driving😭😭😭#also fun fact getting a licence in hungary is literally harder than getting into heaven as a rich person like holy fucking shit#I've been going through the process for well over two years now. my god#you need 4 different exams and many many many hours of studying and practice#which is good in that i know most ppl who drive trained really hard to do it#but bad because boy they don't act like it<3 also bp traffic is fucking nuts. JUST TAKE THE BUS#or the metro. or the trolley bus. or the tram. or the hév. or the train. or the fucking . boat#no the boats stopped running during covid and they still haven't started again which makes me so sad. bring them back...#barking
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