#there was a lot of truth in what he told her when he told her not to stay but I think it’s a little deeper

[dayabelle]

Fragments of Us

Pairings: Mha! Shota Aizawa x Fem! Reader

---

It was a late evening, the city lights outside casting long shadows through the small kitchen. Shota sat at the table, head resting on his palm as he watched her bustle around, moving through the small space like she owned it, as if she had always belonged there. Her laugh, light and carefree, echoed as she scolded him for something trivial—he’d knocked over a glass, spilling water everywhere.

"You’re such a mess, Shota!" she said, her voice teasing but warm, bending to pick up the pieces.

He chuckled softly, but as she straightened up, his gaze softened, his heart doing a strange fluttering thing he couldn’t name. The moment held a quiet intimacy—just them, in this shared space, as if everything else in the world faded.

"Hey," he called, his voice suddenly serious.

She paused, looking up with a raised eyebrow, her hair falling messily around her face. "What?"

He hesitated, the words almost foreign to his mouth. "I... I think I might be falling in love with you."

Her eyes widened for a moment, her mouth opening to say something, but instead, she just laughed—a little awkwardly at first, then it broke free into something deeper, more genuine. She crossed the room toward him, leaning against the table, eyes gleaming with that teasing light he had come to adore.

"You think?" she grinned, brushing a lock of hair behind her ear. "You don’t sound very sure, Shota."

He smiled, rubbing the back of his neck. "I’m sure enough." His voice lowered, almost as if to confess something deeper, something more vulnerable. "I’m... sure enough to want you to be in my life, for a long time. If you'll have me."

For a moment, there was only the sound of her breathing, steady and calm, before she broke the silence, her voice softer than he’d expected.

"I want that too, Shota. I want you too."

It was one of those rare, beautiful moments when time seemed to slow—when the world outside felt insignificant and everything about them felt right. They didn't need to say more; the simple truth was understood.

--

Their fights were always the same. Intense at first, the words sharp and the emotions raw, but they always ended with laughter, the absurdity of it all cutting through the tension.

One evening, they were sitting on the couch, neither of them particularly angry, but their frustrations had built up over the past few days. He was tired, she was on edge, and the little things became monumental.

"I told you," she said, frowning slightly, "I don’t need you to fix everything. Just listen."

Shota clenched his jaw, a bit frustrated. "I am listening. But you’re not even letting me help—"

"I don’t want fixing, Shota," she snapped, a little louder than she intended, standing up and pacing across the living room. "I just want to be—without you trying to solve my problems all the time!"

He stood too, the frustration turning to something that felt a lot like guilt. "I can’t help it. I just—I hate seeing you like this. I just want to make it better."

She turned to him, her eyes flashing. "I am the one who has to live with it, okay? Not you! You can’t always—"

But before she could finish her sentence, her foot caught on the rug, sending her tumbling forward in a graceless stumble. Instinctively, Shota reached out to catch her, but in the process, they both crashed to the floor with a soft thud, tangled in each other’s limbs.

There was a beat of stunned silence, and then—both of them burst into laughter.

She couldn’t stop laughing, her eyes watering as she tried to push him off her, still giggling. Shota, his chest heaving from laughter, finally caught his breath enough to speak.

"Well," he said, his voice ragged from amusement, "I guess you are right. You don’t need me to fix everything."

She shook her head, grinning at him through her laughter. "You do realize you are the one who made everything worse, right?"

He smiled, brushing his hand through his messy hair, giving her that sheepish smile she loved. "Yeah, yeah. But hey, at least we can’t stay mad at each other when you fall on your face."

And just like that, the tension was gone. The argument, no matter how heated, dissolved in the air between them, leaving only warmth. Only laughter.

--

There were nights, rare and quiet, where neither of them said a word. They didn’t need to. Those were the moments that solidified everything between them.

They sat outside on the balcony of their apartment, the world around them quiet and still. The city stretched out beneath them, lights twinkling like distant stars. He leaned against the railing, his arms crossed, while she sat next to him, legs folded beneath her. She didn’t say anything, just breathed, content in the silence.

Shota looked over at her, his gaze soft. She wasn’t looking at him, her attention fixed on the skyline, but he felt that familiar warmth spread through him. There were no grand gestures, no words, but everything about this moment felt perfect.

He reached over, brushing a stray lock of hair behind her ear, his touch lingering. She looked at him then, just for a moment, a gentle smile curving her lips.

"I’m glad you’re here," he said, his voice quiet but full of meaning.

Her eyes softened, her lips forming a small smile. "Me too."

It wasn’t a declaration of love, not in the traditional sense, but it didn’t need to be. In that moment, in that simple exchange, they both knew. They knew without needing to speak. Everything felt right in the world.

--

A few weeks before the incident that would change everything, they stood outside a building in the dead of night, a soft drizzle of rain falling around them. Shota’s hand was tucked into hers, and she looked up at him with something in her eyes that he couldn’t quite place.

"Shota," she said, her voice serious, almost hesitant. "Promise me... promise me you won’t ever leave me."

The question hit him like a stone, and he paused, glancing at her with a furrowed brow. "What are you talking about? I’m not going anywhere."

She looked down at their hands, as if she were trying to convince herself of the same thing. "Just promise me. I don’t think I can handle losing you."

His heart twisted, a strange foreboding sense creeping over him. He wasn’t sure why she’d asked, why she seemed so afraid, but he answered, without hesitation.

"I promise," he said softly, squeezing her hand, his words sure. "I’m not going anywhere."

She smiled, but there was a quiet sadness in her eyes. "I know."

And it was the last promise they’d ever make.

--

The Last Day Before Everything Changed

The day everything changed, before the war and the pain, they had spent together like any other day. It had been a simple morning—laughing over coffee, sharing quiet words that meant the world to them. He kissed her forehead as she got ready to leave for an assignment, whispering something playful about seeing her later.

"I’ll be waiting for you," he had said, as he always did.

And she had smiled that smile he adored, the one that always made his heart race, before walking out of the door.

They never knew it would be the last time they would be like that. The last time they’d hold each other so naturally, so without hesitation.

It was the last time they shared the world the way they always had—together.

---

Aizawa’s pov:

This was the first time I had ever seen this woman. And yet, she seemed so... familiar?

An instant flash—a woman laughing under a yellow streetlight—lit up his mind before vanishing just as quickly. The warmth of her laughter, the way her silhouette danced in the faint glow, tugged at something deep inside him. It wasn’t just déjà vu. It felt... real. As if a fragment of another life had slipped through the cracks of his memory.

But he had never seen her before. He was sure of that. No matter how hard he tried to summon a memory, there was nothing—no prior meeting, no passing glance, not even a faint recollection of her face. And yet, it was as if he knew her intimately, as if some unseen thread connected them, pulling her closer to him in ways he couldn't explain.

She felt familiar, not in the way strangers sometimes do, but in a way that made his chest ache. It was as though she had always been there, woven into the fabric of his life, even though they had just met today.

His heart ached the longer he looked at her, a deep, inexplicable pain that made his chest tighten. It wasn’t the kind of hurt that came from longing or sadness—it was something far more profound, as though he were remembering a loss he couldn’t quite place.

The way she tilted her head, the softness in her eyes, even the curve of her smile—it all felt so hauntingly familiar, yet completely foreign. The harder he tried to make sense of it, the deeper the ache grew, as if his heart recognized something his mind refused to acknowledge.

He stared at her, his gaze unwavering, but his mind was a storm of questions. Why was she affecting him like this? Why did his heart ache just looking at her? He couldn’t find an answer, and the turmoil was too much to bear.

Without a word, he turned and walked away. The bustling noise of the conference room, filled with pro heroes discussing critical matters, faded into the background. The head chief called after him, demanding he stay, but he ignored the protests. He didn’t offer an explanation, didn’t spare anyone a glance—not even her.

As he stepped out of the room, his heart was still pounding, and the ache lingered. He didn’t know what had just happened, but he knew one thing for sure: staying in that room, in her presence, wasn’t something he could handle right now.

He knew her. He had to, right? There was no other way to explain it—the ache in his chest, the weight of her presence, the inexplicable pull toward her. He had never felt this way for anyone, let alone a stranger. But was she really a stranger? His heart screamed otherwise, even as his mind came up blank.

He racked his brain, trying to place her name, her face, or anything about her. Every pro hero in that room was someone he could recognize instantly—he’d spent years memorizing names and reputations. Yet somehow, she was a complete mystery. And what unsettled him even more was that everyone else seemed to know exactly who she was.

How was that possible? How could she feel so familiar to him, so impossibly close, yet remain an enigma? It was like trying to think of a new color—his mind simply couldn’t grasp it, no matter how hard he tried.

He didn’t want to deal with this—not now. His mind was already a mess, and the events of the day had left him drained. Teaching at U.A. had been exhausting enough, and now this inexplicable encounter had thrown him completely off balance. He needed to clear his head, to shake off the unsettling emotions that clung to him like a shadow.

Without hesitation, he grabbed his phone and called up Hitoshi Shinso. The student responded quickly, eager as always for a chance to train. Within minutes, they were in the gym, facing off.

For nearly an hour, they sparred, and he went harder than usual. Every strike, every block, every move was sharper, faster, as if he could fight away the confusion gnawing at his mind. Sweat dripped down his face, his muscles burned, and his lungs heaved for air, but he didn’t let up. Shinso struggled to keep up, but he pushed himself, determined to meet his teacher's intensity.

Still, no matter how hard he fought, the ache in his chest lingered, and the memory of her face wouldn’t leave him.

Hitoshi finally threw his hands up, panting and wiping the sweat from his brow. "That's it. I'm done for the day," he said, his voice laced with exhaustion. He slumped against the wall, glaring lightly at his teacher. "You’re not just training me—you’re working something out, and I’m not your punching bag, Aizawa-sensei."

Shota froze mid-step, his chest still rising and falling heavily from the spar. He opened his mouth to protest, to say it wasn’t like that, but he couldn’t. Hitoshi was right. The intensity, the unrelenting pace—it hadn’t been for the student’s benefit. He’d been venting his frustration, his confusion, his... whatever the hell was going on with him.

Hitoshi grabbed his water bottle and slung his bag over his shoulder. "Look, I don’t know what’s going on with you, but maybe talk to someone about it instead of trying to knock me into next week," he said, giving a tired wave as he walked toward the exit.

Shota watched him leave in silence, the words cutting deeper than they should have. Alone now, the gym felt too big, too quiet, and that familiar ache clawed its way back into his chest. No amount of sparring was going to fix whatever this was.

What a nuisance. His schedule was off, his mood was off, and now he felt completely out of place. Normally, he had a knack for pushing aside anything irrational, anything that didn’t fit neatly into his logical view of the world. He could expel distractions as easily as he could expel a failing student. But this—her—it was impossible to ignore.

It frustrated him to no end. He had tried, over and over, to push her out of his mind, to forget the way she made him feel, to dismiss the ache in his chest as nothing more than a fleeting anomaly. But no matter how hard he tried, she remained. Her face, her presence, that inexplicable sense of familiarity—they clung to him, lingering in the back of his mind like an unresolved equation.

The more he fought it, the stronger it seemed to hold. It was infuriating, maddening even, to feel so powerless over something so intangible. Shota Aizawa was a man of discipline, a man of control. And yet, when it came to this woman, he had none.

-

Hizashi and Nemuri's Pov:

The soft murmur of conversation filled the small corner of the cafe where Hizashi Yamada and Nemuri Kayama sat, the warmth of their cups of coffee contrasting the chill that had settled in their hearts. They watched from across the room, the familiar scene unfolding before them like a page from a book they hadn’t read in years. It was strange—how something so simple could feel so surreal.

From their seats, they could see Shota and her walking past each other, as strangers do, each lost in their own world, unaware of the life they once shared.

Hizashi was the first to speak, his voice unusually quiet, the ever-present brightness of his usual demeanor dimming with the weight of the moment. "You ever thought we’d see this day?" He gestured with a flick of his hand toward the two figures walking by. His tone was soft, almost disbelieving.

Nemuri, her gaze focused on the pair, didn’t immediately answer. Her fingers traced the rim of her coffee cup, the steam rising between them, as though it could somehow erase the heaviness in the air. "I don’t know what to think anymore." Her voice was distant, a thin layer of frustration laced with sadness. "I mean… look at them. They don’t even see each other."

Hizashi sighed, running a hand through his messy blonde hair. "I know," he muttered, eyes following Shota first and then flicking toward the woman who had been so much a part of their lives, so intertwined in the rhythm of everything they did. "It’s just... it's like they’re ghosts. They’ve been erased."

Nemuri’s lips pressed into a tight line. She had always been good at hiding what she felt, but she couldn’t hide the ache in her chest as she watched them walk by, both moving forward in life, but completely unaware of the tie that once bound them so deeply. "We all saw it, didn’t we? That connection they had. Like they were part of the same soul. It was... impossible to miss."

Hizashi chuckled bitterly, shaking his head. "Yeah, it was obvious. Even when they fought, it was like they were always gonna come back to each other. You never saw them as individuals. It was always ‘her and Shota,’ ‘them two.’ But now... now it’s like nothing ever happened."

Nemuri’s eyes followed the two of them, watching as they moved through the meeting room, their gazes never locking, their conversations never overlapping. It hurt. "I don’t even think they know what they lost," she murmured, her words quiet but sharp, as though speaking the truth made it more real. "You remember when she’d laugh and his whole face would light up? Or the way he’d lean in when she spoke, like he was hanging onto every word? That was real. You can’t fake that."

Hizashi nodded slowly, his blue eyes flickering with a sadness he rarely showed. "Yeah, I remember. But whatever they had, whatever was between them, it’s gone now. Just gone." He met Nemuri’s gaze, his voice low, tinged with regret. "It’s like they don’t even recognize it anymore, you know? They walk past each other, barely glancing. Like they’re nothing more than strangers."

"Did they even have a choice?" Nemuri asked, her voice a little raw, a little bitter. She knew the answer, but the question was as much for herself as it was for Hizashi. "Could they have really stayed the same after everything that happened? After... everything they had to go through?"

The silence stretched between them, heavy with unspoken thoughts.

"Maybe not," Hizashi replied, his voice soft, more somber than usual. "But it doesn’t make it any easier to watch. They were everything to each other. And now? Now they’re just two people in the same room, passing like ships in the night."

They watched for a moment longer, their gazes fixed on the two of them. Shota, so distant, his face unreadable, moving as if there were no history behind those eyes. And her, the woman who had once been a bright spark in their world, now just a quiet figure who blended into the crowd.

Nemuri clenched her fist around her cup, her gaze never wavering. "It’s so hard to accept. Watching them like this... it’s like we’re losing them all over again."

"I know," Hizashi muttered, his voice barely above a whisper. "But we can’t force it. We can’t make them remember." He paused, his eyes narrowing as he watched Shota and her go their separate ways. "But I’ll tell you one thing, Nemuri. We can’t just forget what they meant to us, either. We can’t let that fade."

Nemuri let out a breath she hadn’t realized she was holding. "No. We can’t."

---

The two of them fell silent, sitting side by side as they watched their old friends, now strangers, go about their day. It was as if the world had moved on, leaving behind a pair of souls that no one could quite reach anymore. And in that silence, the grief of the past, the uncertainty of the present, and the sadness for the future settled over them like a weight they couldn’t shake.

Their friends were gone. They were still there, physically, but the people they had once been—those people were gone. And there was no getting them back.

Not anymore.

-

Aizawa's pov

'

The kitchen was bathed in the warm, golden glow of the late afternoon sun streaming in through the small window above the sink. Dust motes floated lazily in the air, illuminated by the light as if frozen in time. The tiled floor was a mess, covered in a fine layer of white flour that had spread farther than either of them had expected. The overturned bag lay crumpled to one side, its contents spilled out in an unceremonious heap that had them both on the floor, trying to salvage what they could.

She sat cross-legged on the ground, her hands cupped to scoop the flour back into the bag as best as possible. Her long hair, a cascade of soft waves, was pulled back into a loose ponytail, though a few rebellious strands framed her face. Her cheeks were flushed, whether from laughter or exertion, he couldn't tell, but the faint pink hue made her look even more radiant. A smudge of flour dusted her nose, giving her an almost childlike charm.

Her laughter was infectious, a light, musical sound that filled the small space and made the situation feel more amusing than frustrating. It came straight from her chest, unrestrained and genuine, causing her eyes to crinkle at the corners and glimmer with joy. She tried to focus on the task at hand, but her occasional giggles made her efforts slightly clumsy.

He was kneeling beside her, his elbows resting on his knees as he watched her, unable to take his eyes away. There was something mesmerizing about the way she moved—so intent, so unbothered by the mess they’d made. Her fingers worked quickly but softly, scooping up little mounds of flour and pressing them into the bag with care. Her determination was endearing, and he found himself smiling without realizing it.

The sunlight caught the strands of her hair, creating a halo-like effect that made her look ethereal. His heart skipped a beat as he soaked in the moment: her carefree demeanor, her unfiltered joy, and the way her laugh seemed to echo in his mind long after it stopped.

Then she looked up, catching him staring. Her eyes, sparkling with mirth, locked onto his. “Haha, what are you staring at?” she asked, tilting her head slightly, her smile wide and teasing. Her tone was playful, but the way she looked at him made his pulse quicken.

"Nothing," he replied quickly, his voice soft but unconvincing. His lips twitched upward in a faint smile, but his gaze lingered on her a moment too long. It wasn’t nothing—not to him.

This moment, with the chaos of spilled flour, her unrestrained laughter, and the golden light casting her in hues of warmth, felt like something straight out of a dream. The sound of her laugh, the way her nose crinkled slightly when she smiled, and the gentle determination in her hands as she tried to fix their mess—it all burned itself into his memory, searing so deeply he knew he could never forget it.

He turned his focus back to the mess on the floor, his hands clumsily scooping up handfuls of flour. His heart was still racing, the image of her radiant smile replaying over and over in his mind. How could he explain that this seemingly trivial, imperfect moment was one of the most beautiful things he'd ever experienced? So he didn’t try. He let her teasing laugh ring in his ears, silently hoping that she couldn’t see the way his cheeks burned or how his heart had all but leapt out of his chest.

Because to him, this wasn’t just a mess on the kitchen floor. It was a memory—one he wanted to hold onto forever.

Caught off guard, he scrambled for an answer, feeling warmth creep up his neck. But all he could think about was how this ordinary, chaotic moment had turned into something extraordinary—something he never wanted to forget.

'

What the hell? He suddenly had a flashback of something he didn't even remember happening. He couldn't remember the face of the woman in the daydream.

The memory lingered like a soft, unshakable echo in his mind. It was the sound of her laughter, clear and melodic, filling his thoughts until it drowned out everything else. It was a sweet sound, mesmerizing in its simplicity, like the kind of laugh that could make the world feel lighter. He couldn’t remember exactly when it happened or why it felt so vivid. All he knew was that it had burned itself into his memory—her laugh, her carefree smile, the way she had looked at him in that moment.

But when he tried to recall her face, it slipped through his fingers like sand. He could see her in the kitchen, kneeling beside him, laughing as the flour spilled everywhere, but her face remained a blur. Her features refused to come into focus, like a puzzle with a piece missing, no matter how hard he tried to piece it all together. The laughter was there, the warmth of the room, the sunlight bathing her in golden hues—but the face, the very thing that should have anchored the memory, remained elusive.

He rubbed his temple, trying to clear the fog, but the harder he focused, the more it felt like he was chasing a ghost. This had to be a memory, right? Something real. But why couldn’t he place her? Why did her name remain a whisper he couldn’t catch?

The uncertainty gnawed at him, the dissonance between the memory of her laughter and the blankness where her face should have been unsettling. Was he losing his mind? Had it all been a dream or some fleeting, half-formed memory that never fully took shape?

His mind swirled with confusion, and an unsettling thought crept in. What if this wasn’t a memory at all? What if he had never even met her?

He shook his head, trying to dispel the dizziness that was growing within him. No, that couldn’t be right. But the more he thought about it, the more doubt seeped in. How could he feel so sure about something that seemed to slip through his grasp, like a dream he couldn’t wake up from?

His heart tightened, and he felt a strange ache in his chest, a longing for something he couldn’t explain. The sound of her laughter kept playing over and over in his mind, and with it, the unsettling sense that he was missing something crucial. Something important.

But what was it?

It was like a sudden rush of clarity, only for it to crumble away just as quickly. The moment he thought he had almost touched the memory—when he tried to picture her, really see her—he felt it. A crack, like the wall of his mind was breaking down, opening something he hadn't realized was locked away. It was as if the very act of remembering her should have felt natural, but instead, it was like trying to rebuild something that had already fallen apart.

Her face remained elusive, just out of reach, and the more he tried to grasp it, the more fragile everything felt. The laughter, once so clear, began to distort, stretching and warping like a fading echo. The sense of her, the warmth she had brought to the room, all of it slipped away with every effort to hold onto it.

He hated it—hated how his mind couldn’t keep up with the flood of emotions that surged within him. There was a pull, a deep, almost aching sense of familiarity that gnawed at his insides. But it was coupled with the frustration of not knowing why. The feeling of knowing her should have been enough to ground him, but instead, it left him spinning. His heart was a wreck, torn between a longing he couldn't place and a fear of losing something that was already slipping through his fingers.

Every time he reached for a memory of her, it felt like trying to fix a broken piece of glass with his bare hands—gathering the shards only to watch them scatter once more. He wanted to scream in frustration, to pound his fists against the wall of his own mind and force the answers to appear. But they didn’t.

The new feelings—the confusion, the ache, the deep, unsettling sense that there was something missing—were unbearable. And the more he tried to remember, the more everything became a blur. The longer he was left in this void, the more it felt like he was losing himself too, piece by piece.

And that laugh, so sweet and hypnotic, echoed in his mind, reminding him of something he was desperate to grasp, yet terrified to fully uncover. Because every time he tried, it felt like the wall around his mind was cracking even further—falling apart, only to rebuild itself before he could fully understand.

He tried to let it go, tried to convince himself it didn’t matter. After all, how could something as fleeting as an elusive laugh, a memory he couldn’t even place, really be important? It felt silly to dwell on it. He didn’t know her, and she certainly didn’t know him—not in the way those fragments of his mind made him wish. He dismissed it, burying the feeling deep inside where it couldn’t interfere with his routine.

So, he moved on. He went about his days, immersing himself in his work, his distractions, the mundane rhythms of life that felt so much safer than confronting the unknown. He told himself it was just his mind playing tricks—nothing more, nothing less. The more he told himself that, the easier it became to forget.

But then, the next time he saw her, it all came rushing back.

It was in the middle of a meeting, the room filled with the usual hum of conversation. Papers shuffled, pens clicked, and the air was thick with the weight of deadlines and agendas. He sat there, half-listening, jotting down notes, when he heard her voice. It was like a jolt, a spark that set something inside him alight. The moment she spoke, his mind flashed back to that laugh—the sound of it still so vivid, like it had been imprinted on him forever.

She was standing there, as poised and focused as she always was, her hair neatly pulled back, a hint of a smile on her lips as she contributed to the discussion. But the instant their eyes met, something shifted. The familiar pull, that sense of connection he couldn’t explain, washed over him once more, stronger than before.

He felt his chest tighten, his heart picking up pace, and for a brief moment, it was as if everything around him went quiet. It was the same sensation he had experienced the first time he saw her, that inexplicable recognition. But he quickly shoved it down—brushed it off as nothing. It doesn’t matter, he reminded himself. You're just imagining things.

The meeting continued, but he couldn’t shake the feeling that something was off, like a knot had been tied in his chest. He didn’t allow himself to dwell on it. He didn’t let his gaze linger on her too long. He focused on the task at hand, forced himself to engage in the conversation, but the connection—however intangible it was—lingered in the back of his mind, quietly gnawing at him.

He went on with his day, just as he had before, but the question was there now, sitting at the edge of his thoughts. The one he’d tried so hard to forget. Why did it feel like he knew her? And more troubling still, why did it feel like she knew him too?

-

Twelve years ago, Shota and her—no one had ever seen one without the other. Their bond was undeniable, a quiet force of nature that made them inseparable. From the moment they met, their friendship was effortless, a connection that seemed to transcend time. They’d been through so much together—life-altering experiences, each moment filled with depth and meaning. At first, they were friends, an odd pair that seemed to click in a way no one understood, not even them. There was something unspoken between them, a sense of mutual understanding that went beyond words.

The first time they fought—really fought—was an oddity. It was about something trivial, as most fights between close friends tend to be. A misunderstanding, a difference in opinion, the kind of thing that could easily have driven them apart. But even then, their bond was strong. In the heat of the argument, emotions ran high, but it never reached the point of real anger. They had always known how to talk through their differences. She would pout, and he’d smile in that stubborn way of his, and before long, one of them would say something so ridiculous that the tension would break. They would laugh, and just like that, the fight would dissolve, leaving only a quiet understanding.

They were there for each other through the darkest times. When Shota lost people he cared about, she was the one who stood by his side, offering a steady hand when the world seemed to be crumbling. When she had her own moments of doubt, when the weight of her responsibilities as a hero felt overwhelming, Shota was her anchor. He knew her better than anyone. Her laugh, her small gestures, the way her eyes softened when she talked about her dreams—it was all so familiar, so deeply ingrained in him. And she, in turn, knew him—the quiet way he carried the weight of the world, the way he hid his emotions, even from himself.

Their love had grown from that friendship. It was slow, like a seed taking root and blossoming when they least expected it. But when it did, it was undeniable. Their relationship wasn’t perfect, but it was real. They understood each other in a way no one else did. Their connection was a constant, and even in the face of the chaos of their lives as heroes, it remained a source of comfort.

Their bond was the kind that made everyone else take notice. It wasn’t just "Shota" or "her," it was always "them two." Wherever one was, the other was sure to follow. They had so many shared memories, countless adventures, moments of quiet joy that felt like they could last forever. Their laughter, their shared glances, their whispered words in the dead of night—these were the things that made them who they were. A couple built on trust, on shared experiences, on a love that felt like it could withstand anything.

---

The war changed everything. The world was thrown into chaos, and they both fought valiantly, side by side, with all the strength they had. It was a brutal battle. Her quirk, a powerful ability that she had honed over the years, backfired during a fight with a villain whose quirk turned things in the opposite direction. It was a freak accident—a perfect storm of chaos—and it shattered the balance of her mind and body.

Her quirk’s backlash altered her chemistry, messing with the way her memories and emotions interacted. It started subtly, at first. Small gaps in her memory, moments where she would forget something that just happened. But it quickly spiraled out of control. The more she remembered him, the more it tore at her, eroding her mind in ways that no one understood. The doctors and quirk scientists were desperate, trying to find a solution, but there was none.

Shota sat in that hospital room, surrounded by cold, sterile faces. The weight of the decision before him pressed down on him, suffocating him with every passing second. Her eyes were closed, her body fragile and broken from the fight, but her mind was the real battlefield now. The doctors had explained it to him in the most clinical of terms. "Her memories of you, Shota, they’re eating away at her. If you stay together, if she remembers you, she will lose herself. Her mind will break down. It’s the only way to save her—to make her forget everything."

The room was a blur of conversation, voices echoing around him as he fought to keep himself together. How could they ask this of him? How could he make this choice?

"I’m sorry," one of the scientists had said, "but it’s the only solution."

The words were like a weight, crushing him. He glanced at her, her face so familiar, yet the pain he saw in her eyes broke him in ways he never thought possible. She would become a stranger to him, and he to her. Their love—everything they had shared—would be erased. The thought of it was unbearable.

But in the end, it wasn’t about him. It was about her.

He looked at her one last time, his hand trembling as he reached out to hold hers. She had to live. She had to survive this, even if it meant forgetting him. He couldn’t bear to watch her become a shell of the woman he had loved for so long. His love for her was greater than his own pain.

With tears in his eyes, he whispered, "I’ll forget too. I can’t… I can’t be the reason you lose yourself."

The doctors began their work, and the last thing Shota remembered was her hand in his, the warmth of her skin a fleeting memory. Then, everything went blank.

---

The procedure was done, and everything was different.

They walked separate paths now. She left, moved far away, to start a new life, a life without him in it. The memories of their time together—his memories—were wiped clean. It was as if they had never existed.

Shota returned to his old routine. He continued as a hero, as a mentor, just as he had before. But it felt wrong. There was something missing, an emptiness in his chest that he couldn’t explain. He went through the motions, interacting with the same people, doing the same work, but there was no joy in it. He didn’t know why, but he couldn’t shake the feeling that something had been lost.

And then, one day, she walked into a meeting room, as if from nowhere.

Shota looked up, not expecting to see her there. For a brief moment, his heart skipped a beat. The connection, the strange familiarity, surged through him in a way he couldn’t understand. But she didn’t look at him like she knew him. She was cold, distant, a stranger.

Her name was called, and she responded, her voice flat and professional. She walked to a seat, never once acknowledging him.

Shota watched her, a strange knot forming in his stomach. It was like seeing a ghost, a reflection of a life that no longer existed. The room buzzed with conversation, but all he could hear was the rush of blood in his ears, the pulse of his heart. There was a connection between them—he could feel it—but it was a flicker in the dark, something just out of reach.

He wanted to approach her, to speak to her, but he knew better. They were strangers now, both of them lost to their own pasts. And so, he sat there, watching as she spoke to others.

He couldn’t remember.

The others spoke to her with a familiarity that seemed so natural, but to Shota, it felt like they were all speaking a language he didn’t understand. They knew her—knew things he didn’t—and yet she remained a ghost in his mind.

Days passed, and Shota found himself continuously haunted by an odd sense of emptiness, an aching void that seemed to be centered around the woman he had seen in the meeting room. He didn’t know why, but he felt unsettled when he saw her—like he should know her, like something about her was his. But that something couldn’t be touched, could never be reached.

The truth was, he had no recollection of the woman—her—at all. He couldn’t recall the warmth of her laugh, the way they had once shared a life. He didn’t remember the fights that never truly lasted, the small touches, the quiet moments they spent together. The world they had built—woven with love, loyalty, and history—was now just a fog in the back of his mind, dissipating with every passing second.

The decision he had made—to forget—was one he couldn’t recall clearly anymore. It had been a blur of doctors, quiet words of explanation, and the weight of something he knew was vital, but he couldn’t grasp.

Even his own pain, the anguish of erasing her from his life, was now a distant memory.

What had I lost?

The question lingered, but there were no answers.

Some piece of himself that had been removed. But he couldn’t name it. The feeling of loss clung to him like a shadow, but it wasn’t a shadow he could identify. He didn’t know what he was mourning. He didn’t remember her.

The others spoke of her often—her, the woman from the meeting room. They spoke as if she were someone important. She was now part of the team, her presence here to stay. They would nod when he asked about her, giving him only vague responses, as if they could sense his confusion, but they didn’t press it. They didn’t know he didn’t remember her.

Shota’s interactions with her were brief and professional. There were no sparks of recognition when they crossed paths, no flicker of old familiarity that once had been so vivid. She was just another colleague, another face in the sea of people he interacted with every day.

-

He made that decision knowing deep down that he could never really get to know her again.

He had chosen to protect her. And in doing so, he had lost her. He hadn't even said goodbye, she didn't even know she would have to have said goodbye.

And it would stay this way forever, that's what he knew needed to be done.

A beautiful relationship formed so deep, drowning in the depth of their connection. Their life together life died that day. Both of them gone just like that, and they were never coming back.

[mossyscavern]

Not spies, just a bit incompetent.

_________________________

“Now, are you spies? Or just incompetent! Lackeys!”

The winged bot asked, leaning forward with a harsh yell as red optics flared. “Whoa, we’re not spies.” Orion ushered, servos up. “But he is incompetent.” Elita adds.

“Scanning electrical impulses: he speaks, the truth.” The bot with the face guard and yellow visor states after scanning-. ‘Is that bee?! Why’s that mech holding bee?!’ Orion thought, worry coursing through him.

“That just means he believes himself, like any spy would.” He states, leaning against the other armrest of the throne. “Hmh! M! M! Mh!” Bee tries to say, kicking his peds excitedly, but thanks to the treat he’s eating, he can’t talk.

Orion’s glad that he’s alright.. but he still can’t help but worry about the young sparkling. “Uhm.. Why is he holding him..? Is that an energon treat?” Elita-1 asks, pointing and threatening.

And from the looks of it, D really doesn’t like how they’re holding bee, judging by the obvious death stare. “He wouldn’t stop talking.” The one eyed mech explains. “Even when he was unconscious?” She wondered, optic ridge raise-.

“WE DIDN’T KNOCK OUT A SPARKLING!!!” He shouts stomping his ped, sounding offended by her question.

“Enough. Two options for you, 1: we slowly dismantle each of you, one bolt and screw at a time! And really make sure you feel it for potential kidnapping.” He says, listing off one of the two options with a scowl.

“Or 2: in exchange for a quick death, you give us intel on the energon trains, access to the mines or anything else that could hurt your boss, Sentinel Prime.” He threatens, darkening his optics more towards the three.

D-16 darkens his optics, not entirely trusting any of them.. especially with the sparkling in their arms. “Who exactly are you?” Elita asks.

Bee ate the energon treat more quickly now, trying to finish it in 20 seconds. “Wait!! Not too quickly!” The one eyed mech warned, too little too late by the time bee finished the cube.

“The cybertronian! *hic* high *hic* guard!” Bee says, hiccuping as he spoke. “*sighs* I told him not to eat it quickly.” The mech sighs, shaking his hexagonal helm fondly, handing an energon drink to the sparkling.

“Prestigious *hic* defenders of *hic* Iacon. *hic* prest-*hic*-igious?” Bee asks, hiccuping each word, then drank the energon and thanked them.

“Right. I read all about you in the archives. You were the most legendary warriors in all of Cybertron.” Orion exclaims, pointedly before remembering a very important detail about them. ‘They’ll always protect our young.’ He thought.

“Look, look! There’s starscream! Shockwave! The bot carrying me is Soundwave!” he exclaims, pointing to each main three before raising his hand.

“Hey, are all of you named wave? There’s a lot of waves” bee asked, getting an answer from shockwave’s shaking head.

“Silence!” Starscream shouts. “The young spark is correct.” The seeker states, giving bee a smile when he celebrated. “We were once the High Guard,” he starts, leaning back on the throne.

“We witnessed Sentinel’s Betrayal, saw the Primes fall. Ever since then, we’ve been fighting from the shadows to sabotage Sentinel.”

“That’s great! We’re also-.” Orion was about to stand before a multitude of weapons are levelled to his face. “Woah, okay! We’re good, relax, we’re all friends here. I just wanted to say that we’re all allies here.”

“Hah! Yeah right, like we’d believe the bots that probably kidnap a sparkling.” Starscream stood up, screaming in rage at the last bit, making everybot quiet… all but a small voice broke the silence.

“… what?”

_________________________

I’m… making this one a 2 parter.

1: I like to make these things short and sweet so it’s not too overwhelming. 2: … I can’t fit in some of moments from the movie and pair it with the baby au.. like that fight scene between D-16 and starscream.

I got permission to write this from @yuukirita … and here’s their art and writing for the inspiration -> high guard and the baby please go check it out.

[murfpersonalblog]

Sincerely, thank you SO much for all of the input you (and @alleyskywalker) have been giving me; talking to y'all has really raised a lot of excellent points that I hadn't considered. I'm definitely doing a revised Trial Timeline Pt2d, to make a few changes based on everything we've discussed together.

Sam's presence by Armand's side

"When Daniel points out the inconsistency of the memory of Sam’s role in the trial, Louis experiences cognitive dissonance, because Armand has told him and most likely wants to believe that his companion of 77 years was also a victim. To resolve this dissonance, Louis ends up blaming himself by saying he’s the one remembering things wrong."

Yes, y'all have convinced me that Sam was probably NOT a fake memory from Armand or a hallucination from Louis' thoughts. Sam was just moving back & forth b/t Armand's box to watch the Trial play out, and the Wet Room to torture Louis.

Which is a theory I really like, cuz it makes Louis' excuse that he never went after Sam cuz "time heals all wounds" seem even more sus, cuz this is the man largely in charge of writing the play & all of the horrible things about you & Claudia. You killed the frikkin musicians, but not the actual writer?????

Same with when people point out Louis' strange personality changes b/t 2x4 & 2x5, how he's mad one second and hearteyes the next, like...?

So I'm VERY excited to get Sam in S3, cuz he's got SO MUCH explaining to do.

Coup & Script

From the show, Santiago went to Louis’ apartment to find evidence they could nail him on. Before that, they didn’t really have anything to put Louis on trial: the maitre had given him dispensation from joining the coven; he’s not the one who turned a child. They could kill Claudia based on her being ‘deformed’ alone, and I think until Santiago knew about their killing of Lestat, that was the plan. So can we assume that Sam started writing the play in April 1949, but it was a meatless play, which is why Santiago went looking for something and ended up finding Claudia’s diaries in June/July, a time when Armand was heavily distracted because Louis had committed to a companionship with him. 

No wait, Santiago went looking for the diaries in late 1947/early 1948, way before Sam wrote the Trial script in 1949 (AND Godot). Sam already knew they'd tried to kill Les in 1949, he already had the diaries by then.

But it was still a meatless play, agreed, cuz they wanted LESTAT'S testimony. Which is why we then get Roget's interrogation in 1948ish, and them climbing the Eiffel Tower in 1949--they wanted the drama of Lestat being on the stage, "swearing on his own blood" that "his" version of (scripted) events was true. Cuz they're vicious; it twists the knife to have Les' testimony be the thing that condemns them.

Maybe what we saw of Celeste and Estelle's conversation on the bridge was one of those times the audience got a rare objective reconstruction of events. But since Louis is the one doing the retelling at this point of the story, let's assume he was privy to their conversation, and that Santiago’s insistence that he was Maître probably convinced him that Armand was telling the truth about his involvement. (I think the show was doing that thing where they’re trying to tell us Armand wasn’t the mastermind behind the whole thing, but it was done so clumsily that it feels out of tune with the tone of the show).

Celeste & Estelle give 2 reasons--the London coven targeting their weakness, or Eglee being mad that Santiago dumped her for Celeste. So yes, their convo speaks to the coven's insecurities about their tenuous loyalties to e/o--no honor amongst thieves, a group's only as strong as their weakest link. Santiago insisted that he was the mastermind of the whole Trial the same way he wanted everyone to follow him as Maitre. Louis was right about him in the park, "He wants your job."

So I have no doubt that it was Santiago's plan from the start--he wanted Louis dead the second Louis fell asleep during Santiago's performance in 2x2 & didn't wanna watch anymore of their plays, "persona non grata." This whole Trial is about Santiago's beef with Louis ever since, and he dragged Claudia, Lestat, AND Armand into this mess. I was shocked that more people blamed Armand for Claudia's death than Santiago, like wtf? He literally said IT WAS ME!

But the juicy question is: WHEN did Armand agree to follow Santiago's schemes? WHEN did Armand start lying REALLY? 🤷

Loumand

Did Armand lie to Louis about Gabrielle and Nicki, or was he lying/not telling stuff to Daniel?

Louis said in 2x3 "He abandoned Nicky. He abandoned Armand. He abandoned the coven. Lestat is, was, and will always be, for Lestat." So Armand has obvs lied by omission TO LOUIS before about Lesmand's past, cuz that is NOT the full truth, as I explained in the post I linked--Sam even says in the article that Rolin deliberately wanted Gabrielle's absence to be a red flag about Armand's unreliable narration.

Which makes me think Armand can’t just snap his fingers and rewire a memory. It’s probably easier when someone is ‘half in love with easeful forgetting’, but even then, a vampire who’s feeding human every other day, as Louis is in Paris, isn’t so easy to memory wipe to the extent of never remembering anything despite interacting with the memory wiper every day compared to a drugged up, drained human who manages to retrieve important memories while dying of a neurodegenerative disease. I guess this is me coming out as the person who believes that Louis asked Armand to erase the memory of him going into the sun (Armand took advantage, of course, and painted himself as a saviour, but I’m convinced the initial decision to erase those memories was Louis’).

Agreed! It could very well have been Louis' decision to ask Armand to wipe his memories.

BUT.

That loops us back to this:

Same thing with the pages he removed from the diary. Louis knew what was in those pages, he’d had access to them for a while, he was okay with them being shown/not shown to Daniel. He also knew that Armand had made the unilateral decision to remove some of the diary pages because he didn’t want Daniel to know certain things about him.

SOME of the pages Armand removed WITHOUT Louis' knowledge and consent/permission, behind Louis' back, "on my own", Armand admits this himself:

Cuz like I've said 1000x times, Armand abused Louis' trust, and took advantage of Louis over & over again, and played him for a fool. YES, Louis ripped pages out (eg: Claudia's rape). And yes, Loumand obvs agreed to the Rashid ruse together, to protect Armand's true identity from Dan cuz of what happened in SanFran.

But the pages Armand removed "on my own" were NOT part of their agreement--Dan would've just read Armand's name & been like WHO? And Louis & "Rashid" would've just been like: Oh, the coven master, move on. Armand didn't cover his tracks well enough--he was sloppy. And revealing himself "this time I won't save your life" blew that whole "Rashid" plan out the water. And ironically, revealing himself was the string that unraveled this whole web of lies. Cuz Dan had his scent at that point, and followed it all the way to Sam & the Talamasca & the rest of Armand's lies.

It ain't a good look, and it casts Louis' agency asking to be mindwiped in SanFran into HIGHKEY question. No mental health expert who works with traumatized neurodivergent victims of abuse would EVER agree that Louis was in the right mind during that time:

fresh off a suicide attempt and STILL burned from it (even when they took Dan to the drug den he's got the burns on him in the Talamasca photos; so Louis wasn't even healed at the time & was still in incredible pain)

AND a mental breakdown (triggered by drugs, Dan's rudeness demanding to be Louis' Lestat, and Armand's deep cuts during their fight)

AND a traumatic phonecall he did NOT ask for (thanks Armand) with the Maker he was told (by Armand) had sentenced him to death in the Trial

So yes, I also believe Louis asked Armand to mindwipe him. But Armand should've never done it, cuz Louis wasn't mentally well to make that kind of decision with full consent, and his anger about it in Dubai strongly indicates that if he HAD been more cognizant, he wouldn'tve wanted it done either.

Again: Armand is well aware that it makes him look better in Louis' mind to have those memories removed--not just that Louis tried to kill himself, but also the entire fight Loumand had--Louis admitting how he was bored to dangit death being with Armand & hated having sex with him; and Armand mocking Paul's suicide (a la SanFran) and Grace burying Louis alive (a la Paris) and Claudia resenting Louis (a la Merrick). Their whole fight was about Louis' deep discontent being with Armand anymore, and by erasing Louis' memories of the fight, it allowed Armand to rewrite history so that Louis never even remembered that he didn't like Armand anymore & that Lou was READY to call it quits with Armand in 1973--even if it killed him.

Which ofc brings us back to the complex self-preserving/self-sabotaging choices Armand makes. Cuz on one hand, he's terrified of being alone, and is not above lies & mindewipes to keep someone with him; but on the other hand, he's also not above throwing them to the wolves like castoffs the second he has better options. Which is KINDA book accurate...but kinda NOT book accurate. Which is my personal beef with AMC!Armand vs book!Armand.

But, we’ve seen Armand distracted and unable to use his powers in Dubai, like when Rashid and Daniel lie to him about what went on in the restaurant, or when Rashid brought Daniel a fat-ass newspaper, or when Daniel was plotting to reveal everything at the table. The only person who used mind reading often in Dubai was Louis, not Armand. Now, maybe it was the show not knowing what to do with Armand since they’d made him too powerful and if he was a Master Plotter, there’s no reason why he wouldn’t be able to see the plotting around him in Dubai. But let’s go with what the show has told us: when in love, Armand fails to see what’s happening around him.  Let’s say he was so in love with Louis, that he not only lost interest in the coven and broke the rules he’d enforced for centuries, but he also deluded himself into believing that other coven members wouldn’t rebel against his selective tyranny.

That's been my deep suspicion since Day 👏 Effing 👏 ONE. 👏 I'm convinced Rolin never intended for Armand to get so popular in the fanbase, and was fully prepared to throw him under the bus with the "Banishment" plot twist & make him the bad guy & look even worse than he was in the books; by helping to plan his own companion's murder, and lie about saving him for 77 years.

Cuz IMO book!Armand is MUCH easier to defend; he's my fave character in TVC, BECAUSE to a large extent he was right: toddler!Claudia was an abomination, she was the ONLY one who stabbed/poisoned Les, Louis was 100% oblivious to her plotting, and Armand never had any intention of killing Louis. The effed up part was killing Madz, who had nothing to do with anything. The whole duplicitous backstabbing aspect of the Trial only pertained to Armand torturing Les to force him to condemn Claudia, and lying to Lou that Les had died after the Trial/fire. Armand was THE most powerful vamp, and Santiago was more in the background. AMC!Armand's actions against Louis are skeevy AF, casting into question how he could be so painfully oblivious, both to Santiago AND Daniel plotting. book!Armand loyally stayed with Louis until Louis was literally too depressed to be around anymore. He never wiped Lou's memory or anything, he just left Lou to his own devices, which was the SMART/BETTER thing to do--regardless of if AMC!Lou asked him to erase the memories or not (post-suicide attempt & mental break; the dubcon is through the ROOF 😩).

I'm in the same position as Lestans who hate AMC!Lestat, cuz I find AMC!Armand SO much worse; I don't like or trust him AT ALL. And I see no logical explanation for AMC changing so much, other than that that's what AMC intended us to feel about him here. 🤷 Only difference is that Loustat's still endgame, so there HAS to be a redemption arc for Lestat, "can I cry and say I'm sorry, too!?" in order to make Loustat getting back together palatable. Lestat's the new MC, and Lestat's endgame for Louis, period, Rolin's said it 1000x. AMC has zero obligation to make Armand look any better, cuz Loumand's not endgame; Armand's not a focal point going forward. I reckon fan pressure from the Devil's Minion side will be MOST influential for getting AMC to give Armand a redemption arc--but that would be making a Armand better person for Daniel's sake as his Maker, NOT Louis' sake as his ex. But who knows, time will tell.

Loustat

Did Lestat do this literally, or did he recount the events out loud from his point of view, and Louis remembered? Because Claudia saw/heard the same things: it’s why she told him that Lestat was doing the retelling to hurt him further and what made her get on her feet to mock the audience for believing him.

I like your earlier point that AMC is obvs. adding objective POVs, where I responded about my own suspicions wrt 3rd person POVs AMC has included.

And I also like @alleyskywalker's point that maybe it's Armand sharing/projecting images/memories to Louis & Claudia--although that still leaves the door open for him to interfere with things.

Another thing that bugs me about the extent of Armand’s memory wiping powers is, if he’s time and time again used this power to paint Lestat in a negative light: 1: What purpose does softening Louis’ perception of himself serve? From what we’ve seen, Louis’ belief that he’s unable to control his temper and often causes grave damage to himself or others is crucial to the control Armand has over him. Making him believe he was helpless to stop Lestat’s turning of Claudia or unable to go through with burning Lestat because of Claudia doesn’t serve Armand in any way because then Louis would think he’s incapable of causing harm when he’s not under the power of stronger forces (older vampires, a child he loves unconditionally, etc). Having Louis believe he has self-control wouldn’t do Armand de I Need to be Needed any favours.

The Trial's EP4 revisit wasn't about softening Louis' perception of himself or making Louis think he could/couldn't stop Lestat. It was about implicating Louis in being aware of the coven's Great Laws forbidding turning children, and him making/manipulating/forcing Lestat to do it for him anyway, deliberately breaking the law & thus being guilty & deserving to be put to death. It painted Louis negatively to the audience AND the IRL fanbase. It wasn't about benefiting Armand per se; rather, it was just another coal on Louis' head to guarantee that he would be found guilty & killed. (And I've spoken sat length about why I think the revisit's scripted AF, even though SOME parts of it DO match with what we already saw in 1x4.)

I don’t think is entirely true. I think Louis blames himself for minor things or stuff he knows he didn’t do. But not about the things that would make his worldview take a 180-degree turn. Louis’ One Thing, Only Thing, has been Claudia’s death. As we saw in 1973, he cannot live with the memory of what happened to Claudia. In episode 5, when they start to talk about the events that directly lead to the trial, Daniel calls Louis out for using language that distances him from the narration, because it’s a difficult memory and one he’s never actually had himself recount, ever.  Raglan said 3 or 4 other journalists had tried to get the full story out of him and ended up dead or undead. Even in 1973 we see Louis and Armand use ‘Her’ instead of Claudia’s name when talking about Paris. In Season 1’s finale, we see him remember that it’s not Claudia who stopped them from burning Lestat; he was the one who used violence to stop her from finishing the act. Armand tells Daniel that he’d be ashamed of calling Louis a liar for his faulty memories after learning the full extent of the repercussions for not burning Lestat. I say this also applies to Louis. He is ashamed/cannot live with the fact that what he failed to do in NOLA is what led to the events in Paris (I’m speaking purely about the character’s mindset. I don’t think burning Lestat would’ve changed anything; it might have made things worse).  Cognitive dissonance again, and this time he resolved it by blaming Claudia. He’s believed the kinder version of events because he can’t face the fact that his refusal to burn Lestat is the reason why he could come to Paris and testify in the trial that ends up killing his daughter. To know himself as the man who picked Lestat and ended up condemning Claudia? That would send him to the sun 10 times over. And it’s easy to blame Armand for this again, say that he messed with the memory of Lestat’s killing and that’s why Louis blamed Claudia for the failure to burn him (which okay, if it kept Louis from the sun, is almost a sympathetic and loving edit, as messed up as that is lmao). But, Louis has read the diaries and knows Claudia hated him for 5 years while they were going through Europe. Daniel also mentions this in Season 1 iirc. So it’s not like Louis doesn’t know it wasn’t all roses between them after leaving NOLA.

Agreed.

Revisiting the Trial

2: Why would he leave his involvement with planning the trial in there? If he can basically snap a finger and rewire a memory forever (or drone on and on about a version of events until the victim fully believes him), he could remove himself from knowing about the planning altogether. If he can even make his victim hallucinate something (like Sam being next to him during the trial), he could’ve made Louis hallucinate him next to them on the stage during the trial. Why doesn’t he? Why leave the memory of his culpability in there despite knowing it’s the one thing Louis wouldn’t forgive Lestat for, let alone him?

EXCELLENT questions. 😂🤣

AMC's Trial changes very important bits from the book, that bring all of Armand's actions into question, and make him look either sinister AF (malicious!), or incompetent AF (in love!), or both (nuance™???). IMO he just grossly underestimated Daniel's ability to pick his lies apart (more on that below)--and for some strange reason, he never went after Sam (or got Louis to kill the last person involved in Claudia's murder, which is ALSO wildly OOC for Louis--unless he's been brainwashed with that "time heals all wounds" BS), to make sure Sam kept his mouth shut, let alone ran blabbing to the Talamasca. I've seen some fan theories that Sam was an agent for the Talamasca the whole time, which is WIIIIILD~! I can't WAIT for S3.

Louis prefers to believe a version of events that paint him in a kinder light, and so he wouldn’t willingly upset his worldview by reading an account that challenged it (“I knew who I was without those pieces.”) I don’t know whether he does this deliberately or by not fighting against Armand’s (supposed) control of the archives. I say deliberately because, once he gets the memory of Lestat’s non-burning right, he needs very little prodding to remember what happened next..... ....it’s Louis who decides what memories he carries and which ones he forgets or edits to maintain his self-perception. He doesn’t do this maliciously. I think everyone believes they’re better than they actually are. Not many people are willing to look in the mirror and truly see themselves, flaws and all. Louis “I didn’t put those there - You sure about that” de Pointe du Lac has gone through life refusing to look in the mirror. What likely happens is similar to what happened with Claudia’s turning: he made the story gentler for a child’s mind, like how mothers do with their kids’ birth stories, and likely retold it to her enough times that it became the full truth to him too. 

Louis' lost pieces come from A LOT of different places; and his triggers don't ALL react to the same stimuli or amount of prodding:

I think THE BULK of Lou's lost pieces are cuz of his own repressed memories & coping mechanisms from decades of trauma & PTSD & grief. He just doesn't WANT to remember bad things in his life ("I want to die!"), so he mindwipes himself; cuz suicidal tendencies & mental illness BOTH run in his family. (Dan has to GRILL Louis in 1x7 "was it raining; what murder? You don't need a memoir, you need 100 sessions of EMDR!"). Ofc by 10 sessions (2x8), we learn the truth about "Banishment," which changes the trajectory of the whole interview (Louis goes from toasting Armand across the table; to setting Dan's laptop on fire & running to NOLA)--

--because other lost pieces are predicated on The Seismic Lie that said "Lestat wanted US dead," (ie: Banishment); which have THOROUGHLY confused Louis wrt Les' motives, going alllll the way back to NOLA--"And then something real. This is Lestat." He's unsure if Les EVER loved him, or if Les EVER felt anything real for Lou beyond having "all the emotional acuity of A MONSTER~!" (a la ranting in 1973; a la book!IWTV)

And some are memories/lies Louis fabricates for himself, cuz he KNOWS Loustat shared real love (a la Dreamstat--did Les REALLY have Lou's initials monogrammed, or is that something Lou WISHES Les did for him?). Which makes the Banishment lie the deepest betrayal, cuz he's been operating for the past 77 years thinking Les hated his guts. He KNOWS that can't be true though, which is why he's so determined to get this 2nd interview right in 2022, where the 1st one in 1973 went wrong; "the more nuanced portrait."

Some are cuz of faulty memories & GAPS in his knowledge--during the Trial he was in & out of conscious cuz the coven kicked his head in & knocked him out cold in the Wet Room and he had a bleeding head wound the whole time he was on stage; and he was mind fogged so bad he was hemorrhaging from one eye; and had all these different versions of events thrown at him that had him confused even in Dubai 77 years later.

And ofc others are cuz he's been mindwiped ON; some of his memories are tampered with, and we'll NEVER know the full extent of what Armand did & didn't remove/replace; "I had a hunch."

LDPDL is the dictionary definition of Mentally Unwell, ("If I had been an actual journalist and, you know, not fried on coke and ludes, I would have realized what a dangerously unstable psyche I was with").

So I wouldn't say Lou needed "very little prodding"--he needs the entirety of S1 to even START the process of properly unlocking all of these memories, once Daniel realizes that the ravages of TIME aren't the problem with Louis' odyssey of recollection ("I never owned a Buick; you don't need a memoir!"). There's a bunch of other internal & external factors affecting Louis' memory, and it all goes back to the seeds planted when Dan said in 1x1: "I do my best work 1 on 1," without "Rashid's" constant interference.

The memories come flooding back, including and especially the more correct version of NOLA events that Lestat showed him during the trial re: Claudia’s turning, the fight, etc. If Armand had maliciously edited these memories, then he’d stop Louis from recovering them (kill Daniel and make Louis forget he even thought of doing an interview). But he doesn’t. He’s right there as these memories come back and, aside from suggesting Louis stops during emotionally charged moments, doesn’t prevent the remembering, despite this making it more likely that the extent of his betrayal would be uncovered. Why?

Both revisits were intended to show Louis in a bad light & condemn him to DEATH.

The 1x4 revisit was supposed to implicate Louis in breaking the Great Law against turning children. Neither Louis not Claudia could corroborate these events, and Louis gave up and just accepted it, "you should go with Lestat's version."

The 1x5 revisit was supposed to push Santiago's narrative of "mutual" abuse--"what's as bite between paramours; remember that we are monsters~!" and diffuse the brutality of Lestat's actions by minimizing Louis' pain "it was a hard fall, nothing more!" Claudia wanted Lestat dead after his actions in Ep5 proved to her that Les was no better than Bruce.

"I refuse the idea that Armand is some passive “I couldn’t prevent it” character. If he’s been editing Louis’ memories at will, then he’s a very actively malicious creature (even if he doesn’t think so). Moreover, the renewed memories paint Lestat in a much kinder picture, which doesn’t serve Armand de Possessive. "

The Trial was deliberately designed to prove that Claudia & Louis had NO right or reason to kill Lestat, and that NOTHING Lestat did warranted him being killed by his fledglings ("The father, duped by his ungrateful and diabolical children"). The Trial was meant to end with Claudia AND Louis DEAD. The malicious edits to the revisits are embedded in the script itself, with all the deflecting Santiago does to keep the narrative on track that Lestat is NOT the one on Trial (LESTAT: "I broke the Second Law. When you sentence them for their crimes, you sentence me too." SANTIAGO: "Ha! But you were manipulated into it...teased until you toppled!").

Armand doesn't HAVE to hide the Trial events from DanLou, cuz the Trial still ended with the seismic lie about "Banishment." By painting Lestat as the ultimate betrayer, Armand expertly diffused any & all forgiveness Louis could give Lestat; painted HIMSELF as the ultimate hero. Like, YES, Armand took care of Louis, and allowed him to stick to his vegan diet, and was never physically abusive (beyond NOT putting Louis in his coffin for hours (days?) on end in 2x5 so he could sleep & heal). But the decades of psychological manipulation are Armand's misstep, when he had SO many chances to come clean & never did--what hides in the dark comes out in the light! Louis tagged Daniel in for the 2nd interview & Dan came in clutch ("it's his job" "it's his drug" "I know. It's my job. I'm built this way!"), cuz Louis knew in his SPIRIT that something wasn't right about Armand; Jacob's talked about this several times.

What makes Armand de Possessive "more likely that the extent of his betrayal would be uncovered" is NOT the Trial proceedings being recounted to DanLou & Armand letting it happen (a la Lesmand in 2x3). It's Daniel's snooping with RAGLAN. If Dan hadn't gotten Sam's script from Raglan at the last minute, that interview would've ended with Loumand STILL together & Louis STILL lost in the sauce for another 77 years. 😬

Dan would've died from Parkinson's Disease, and NO ONE would be able to get close enough again to help Louis--god, when I think about how things could've turned out for Louis I get chills. Which is why I keep comparing IWTV to Get Out--the HORROR of psychological abuse & trauma effs me up way more than physical abuse--physical wounds heal, but mental damage can last forever; esp. when you're rewriting entire histories.

Cuz 100%, Armand should've killed Daniel the second he threw the real script at Louis. 😭🤦 Armand underestimated how much Lou would side with "insignificant" Dan over him ("She was a destitute little girl, destined to live an inconsequential little life!"); and Armand overestimated his ability to KEEP Lou & keep him mind-controlled.

I suspect that he was actively TRYING to mindwipe Louis when they ran into the living room, and that Louis was being mind-fogged offscreen.

"One night, 70 years ago. You are over this, Louis! The pain of it has left you. Don't let an insignificant detail, delivered from am insignificant mortal… You have forgiven me for what part I played in her death! And time has opened back up to us and we are once again teachers of one another. Louis, everything that gives you happiness gives me--Louis!"

But we've seen in 2x7 that even a BARRAGE of mind fogging CAN be shaken off if a vamp tries hard enough--Claudia did it several times, and even Louis managed to do it, even though it made his left eye start hemorrhaging.

So yeah, as to why Armand didn't rip Dan's head off, IDK. 🤷🤷 I think the DM fans might be onto something, that even then Armand was "hedging his bets" and kept Dan alive as a contingency plan to make his own fledgling if Louis left him. Which IS book!Armand's pattern of behavior.

Armand’s hold over Louis isn’t because of some insidious memory edit, it’s the ‘prison of empathy’. He doesn’t challenge Louis’ version of events, mostly because it puts his position as companion at risk. And Louis stays in this prison of empathy even as it suffocates him because he doesn’t want to face memory, the monster.

AGREED. Armand's "maliciousness" isn't cuz he HATES Louis & wants him dead (a la Santiago); it's cuz he's fatalistic to a fault and has twisted ideas about the world AND about love-as-service. He selfishly thinks he's doing Louis a favor/kindness/mercy by having his mind stay as scrambled as eggs, cuz Armand is thoroughly unequipped to handle ANYONE'S mental illness--not Louis, and as we'll likely see in S3, definitely not Nicky's. 💀 Lestat's fledglings keep ending up either suicidal or dead under Armand's watch ("Does he want to lick my boots or chop my hands off? Is it the gremlin or the good nurse tonight?" ).

Even Armand torturing Nicky & chopping his hands off was what Armand thought was an act of kindness/mercy, when he thought Nicky's obsessive violin playing was unhealthy. But violence isn't the answer. 😭😅 He does the wrong things for the right reasons; the road to hell is paved with good intentions, as I've constantly said about book!Armand.

But AMC's twisted that by having Armand actively trying to have Louis killed & lying about it, which takes the wind out of the sails.

TL;DR: My problem with blaming Armand for everything/most things Louis remembers wrong is that 1. It removes Louis’ agency and flattens his personality, and 2. Turns Armand into this Big Bad who plans and executes shit meticulously but somehow doesn’t do anything to stop people who’re 1000X weaker than him from unraveling these plans. I think most of these problems are because the show fucked with Louis’ and Armand’s characters in favour of Lestat’s, but that’s a story for another day.

So IMO, defending Louis' agency & autonomy WITHOUT addressing the roles played by Armand (and even moreso Lestat) in ABUSING Louis' agency/autonomy misses the point wrt this story's overall point about the abuse of power.

Who is ARMAND to determine the trajectory of Louis' life? He was all up in Daniel's face, "Why did I owe YOU my shame? Why did I owe YOU my one act of cowardice? The series of abhorrent consequences that followed?" Well, why does LOUIS owe ARMAND his life or sanity?

Cuz Armand's brand of empathy IS a prison--Louis built it, yes (as I said: the BULK of Louis' lost pieces is him coping with trauma & grief); but Armand holds the keys. Armand equates companionship to covenship, as if there has to be a master & a slave--same way Lestat did. (Only Claudeleine saw e/o as EQUALS.) And Louis' been beat down all his life that he comes to just accept when certain roles present themselves, even when they make him miserable--esp. when they're twisted to use his strengths & weaknesses against him.

Louis can stay in his mind palace of delusion all he wants--it's HIS life, and it should be HIS choice, HIS agency & HIS autonomy if he kills himself or starves himself or wtvr.

Armand treated Lou like a possession the same way Les did ("I GAVE you to Armand"), and not like his own person; it's ableist AF.

Only once Daniel exposed everything was Louis FINALLY able to "LEARN to live honestly." Lou can't learn or grow or KNOW himself, if Armand's ENABLING his worst habits, and SUPPRESSING Louis' identity, by REFUSING to "allow me my odyssey [of recollection]," just cuz YOU'RE too scared to be alone if I kill myself or leave you. Armand POUNCED at the opportunity to wipe Louis' memories, and LEAPT at the chance to remove extra pages from Claudia's diaries, taking undue ADVANTAGE of the trust Louis had in him.

Also, by lying about Banishment, he simultaneously ROBBED Loustat of the chance to grieve for their daughter properly. 77 years have been stolen & wasted on helping Louis AVOID uncomfortable truths about himself, rather than facing everything honestly. It's a childishly immature act that is in line with 17yrs!Armand, so I get what AMC was tryna do, but I agree that it doesn't do AMC!Armand any favors, when we see this uber-powerful vamp CONCEDE power to people 1000x weaker than he is--

--at least not without adequately contextualizing those concessions in ways the audience can understand/accept; what with the convoluted chronology and muddy motivations blurring the lines between clever plot twists & cheap plot contrivances.

But like I said, IMO S2 wasn't interested in exonerating Armand or painting him in a good light. IWTV's been about the abuse of power, and the various ways that ALL vampires have wronged e/o, Louis & Lestat & Armand included.

But it's also about the mishandling of power--not realizing the ways that ALL of these vamps really COULD have prevented the bad ish that happens.

BUT also also, the ways that all these vamps are doomed by the narrative to some extent ("But the suit changes nothing!"). Innocent children end up dead. Abuse victims either get back with their abusers; or they start the cycles of abuse in other ways. Guilty parties (like Sam) get off scott free for no reason.

IMO, saying Armand & Lestat are abusers is not flattening Louis' personality--it's the avoidance of Armand & Lestat's culpability and the overt insistence by Louis-antis/Lestans/Armstans that because Louis DOES make bad decisions that everything IS his fault that flattens Louis as a character. Louis can be a naive effing idiot AND his husbands can abuse him--both things can be true--and ARE. The denial of which is what I see as Santiagoisms, that strip away all context behind WHY Louis makes the decisions he makes; by deflecting/diffusing/minimizing the damage caused by the agents, factors & forces at play that move & direct & shape him in very specific ways:

from his homophobic godawful mother making Lou think he "failed my brother" (THE domino effect that set this whole story into motion in the first place)

to the white racists "It was the call and response of my entire life. I had let them talk to me like that so long, I stopped hearing it. 'Yes, sir. Of course, sir.' Subject, verb, agreement, 'sir.' Smile, nod, 'yes, sir.' They all came from the same organ inside me, an organ unknown to science at the time. Because what scientist would look for an organ found only in BLACK MEN who use their weakness to rise?"

to French White Lestat's constant God Complex rhetoric ("you need to show restraint, fledgling!")

to the obligations Lou felt towards Claudia conflicting with his love of Lestat despite all the heinousness Les had done to BOTH of them ("You want to kill him too, and you will enjoy doing it!")

to Santiago ("I handled folks like Santiago both my lives. I don't need you flying in like vampire papa.")

to Armand ("You think I need to be coddled, hyped up, lied to?")

to Daniel disrespecting Louis at every turn, up until 2x6 ("I could be your Lestat, your Claudia, but better! I mean, I got a little bit of both of them in me, plus a few things they don't.")

And it's using one's weakness to rise that I love most about Louis, cuz I've been saying since Day One that Louis has POWER IN SUBMISSION; playing INTO people constantly underestimating him; ESPECIALLY Lestat & Armand, by NOT seeming like a threat. It's not that he's victim = weak = helpless damsel = blameless = victim, it's that he's weaker → vulnerable → victim → unreliable narrator → weaker. And the TRIUMPH of Louis' story arc completing in S2 (that CELEBRATES the fact that he is NOT a flat & hollow shell that's had his whole identity scooped out of him by BOTH his p.o.s. husbands) is that he's FINALLY able to break the cycle & Get Out of this Sunken Place!

He shoves Armand into a effing wall & throws the script at his effing face & reconciles with Lestat & declares he's "companion enough FOR MYSELF" & redecorates the whole penthouse & puts Paul AND Claudia on his wall in places of HONOR--to HONOR their memory, and all that that implies; cuz Memory is NOT the monster--ABUSE & DENIAL is. The bloodstains are still on her dress; he didn't get it cleaned off--he didn't remove the rocks from his feet for 70+ years. He's WANTED to fully remember the good AND the bad this entire time, and Armand ("you're lingering, Rashid!") never let him. He tells Armand "you need to be GONE," so Louis can FINALLY start healing & relearning who TF he is bless and amen I LOVE this for him. 😤👏❤️

IWTV S2 Tentative Timeline (Pt2c) - Unreliable Narrators, Armand & the Trial

Thanks for the response to Pt2b, @usuallydeepalpaca-blog! I really want people to talk to me about the IWTV timelines, cuz this show is SO confusing! 😩😭

"I think if you create the timeline with info the show doesn't provide, i.e. Armand was involved from the start, then you're bound to get it wrong."

Absolutely. I fully expect that I got some stuff wrong, which is why I said it's a TENTATIVE Timeline.

I've in no way said it's THEE CORRECT™ timeline, cuz chile IDKWTF is going on. 😅 I openly say what confuses me, questions I have, and how I come to the conclusions that I draw. I'm being as transparent as possible to let y'all know that I DON'T know. 🤷 The show doesn't provide EVERYthing, so I'm just piecing things together in a way that makes an iota of sense to me, following the logic of what the show HAS provided. The only solid details we have are diehard IRL dates, that gave us a time range when certain events can/can't happen. AFAIK I'm working with the same set of details everyone else has, until AMC gives us more info in S3+. And unfortunately, the 2 biggest unknown variables are Lestat & Armand, and to what extent they were/weren't involved in the Trial that got Claudia killed & Louis buried alive.

"saying Armand messed with Louis' memories re: the trial is also something not supported by the show."

The show obvs. wants us to assume that Armand made Louis hallucinate Sam guarding him in the theatre box (thus painting Armand as a "captive" along with Louis & Claudeleine).

Even if Armand didn't use the Mind Gift on Louis, he lied at least twice:

lies by omission: letting Louis think a hallucination of Sam was real

lies to Louis' (& Daniel's) face: going along with the premise that he was Sam's "captive" & Armand sat there the whole time thinking of a way to rescue Louis

And we KNOW this is a lie, cuz Daniel calls it out explicitly, asking how Sam can be "in two places at once," allegedly "guarding" Armand, but ALSO helping to torture Louis in the Wet Room.

Armand never denied or contradicted Louis saying Sam was in either place. Maybe Louis really did misremember Sam being in the wet room--the ONLY one who can corroborate all this is SAM--whom Armand ALSO lies on, throwing Sam, Daniel & the Talamasca all under the bus by saying the script with his handwriting all over it was forged! No honor amongst thieves I guess! 🤣

(Eff Lestat's POV in S3--when is SAM gonna give HIS POV of the Trial?!)

So I'm operating on patterns of behavior, and the logic that if he's deliberately lying about one thing (a VERY BIG THING, actually), then what else is he lying about? How are you "atoning" for anything, when you're just heaping lies on top of gaslighting on top of manipulation?

Armand has used Louis' obvious confusion to his advantage, just going along with whatever will make him look better & more sympathetic. Which ofc, is the exact same thing he does with the "Banishment" lie. "They gave me a choice...I could not prevent it" is the truth and a lie all rolled into one incredibly manipulative cocktail, cuz if it was just a simple matter of Armand selling Claudia out to save Louis, that would be one thing--but Armand KNEW the script planned LOUIS' death the whole time. The "seismic lie" about "Banishment" effs up Armand's whole defense.

Cuz Sam already wrote the script in April 1949 (and I said this is confusing, cuz if it's the WHOLE script, then this implies Lestat's half was written by then, too, and NOT in September after the Eiffel Tower crime--which means he was ALREADY in Paris & working with the coven; inc. Armand (which would also explain WHY Armand took Louis to the library so much--perhaps anticipating that Loustat would feel e/o's presence if Louis was around the theatre too much? But that doesn't explain Claudia)--omfg I'm confused). Wtvr--we KNOW that at some point b/t April & September 1949, Armand made his edits & directed the entire production--from Santiago to Lestat to Tuan's projections--ALL of it. And we know Tuan's projections started being made in June/July 1949.

Armand KNEW Daniel had been given the OLD script from the archives, WITHOUT Armand's edits & directions, and LET Daniel AND Louis think that was the truth--

--same way he went behind Louis' back and removed extra pages from Claudia's diaries that would reveal MORE of his shenanigans--

--and the same way he lied about Nicki (& Gabrielle) in 2x3.

The show ALSO provides us with quotes like this:

And this:

And this:

Which in retrospect make Armand look even more insidious, esp. when we wonder to what extend Louis' been "driven to form new conclusions about myself" when he doesn't even KNOW himself; let alone WHAT memories he has that are real or false.

It's so effed up, and it makes me side-eye all the insistence that LOUIS is the one mostly at fault, when he's got literal double-hypnosis Brain Scramblies from WWDITS. 😭🤦

Ofc there are unknown-unknowns when dealing with unreliable narration. But there are also known-unknowns, too, that also make Armand sus.

Sure, Loumand was away at the library in July (IF that memory's even real, Mr. "I Had A Hunch")--but how on earth would Armand have NOT known that the coven was working on the Trial right under his nose for MONTHS prior & after July--Luchenbaum sewing new barrister costumes & wigs; Tuan painting projections & testing new lens/film tech; and Sam writing a new script (when we already KNOW Sam can't multitask when his "head's in a hat")?

July is only ONE month in over HALF A YEAR of Trial prep. Louis was never around the coven to know what was going on--but ARMAND was; it's where HE lives.

Whose POV was it that showed the whole coven passing around Claudia's diaries? Whose POV was it that revealed Santiago being called Maitre in every scene that ARMAND was also in?

Armand was in the park with Tuan when Tuan called Santiago Maitre; and Armand was in the theatre with Sam when Sam called Santiago Maitre--so this is clearly either Armand's POV telling on himself; or it's AMC screwing with us.

It's TRUE that Turning Madeleine was the straw that broke the camel's back, as Armand was like I can't keep THAT a secret from the coven, too (and ofc he couldn't--they're VAMPIRES; they'd FEEL a new vamp in their territory). But Loumand's problems PREDATE Madeleine; the same way Loustat's problems predate Claudia. I blame Les for not dealing with Lou's BS, just like I blame Armand, cuz THEY are the Coven Masters, NOT Lou--esp. cuz Armand had 14 other vamps in his coven he SHOULD be prioritizing over Lou. The same way Loustat's guilty of being bad fathers (which they BOTH admitted to), Armand's guilty of being a bad coven leader (which HE admitted to).

IMO, all this makes any & all discussion about Armand's trustworthiness difficult, when his "seismic lie" throws EVERYTHING else he's done into question. Esp. since the show ALSO provides us with the FACT that Armand knew from DAY ONE that Claudia lied about "Bruce"/Lestat; and that Louis was a terrible liar & terrible with the Mind Gift; and that he'd ALREADY planned on killing Louis in 2x3! Armand knew from the get-go that he couldn't do EFF ALL to keep Louis & Claudia out of danger, and TOLD Louis so.

"It also ignores that Louis softens his participation in certain things because he can't live with the guilt of his full participation, e.g. Claudia's turning, which he continued to lie to Claudia about even during the trial and only accepted the extent of his involvement in Dubai"

The Trial Timeline's purpose is to pinpoint when the preparations took place, NOT to hash out how bad of a father Louis was to Claudia. 🤨

And it certainly isn't meant to provide a timeline for the events in S1 wrt Claudia's Turning--we already know the dates for all of that, that she was made in 1917. I focus on the 1940s in S2, and the European dates, NOT the NOLA dates. LOUIS did not participate in the Trial's preparations, ARMAND & LESTAT did. My timeline has ZERO bearings on Louis' guilt for not warning her, etc.

But on the subject of Louis & Claudia, I've cussed Louis out for not telling Claudia about Armand b4 (x x), I don't ignore it at all. I fully understand & even agree with Armand being fed up with dealing with Louis' BS. But HE CHOSE not to kill Louis when he had the chance, and it's obvs that whatever arrangement they made when they had sex in 2x3/2x4 allowed Louis to TRUST that Armand would keep "the secret" & keep Louis & Claudia SAFE from the coven. (Which is a BOGUS claim for him to make, when Santiago'd ALREADY peeped that they were lying about Lestat & being from NOLA, but wtvr). I've called Louis a naive idiot 1000x for overestimating Armand, putting his life in Armand's incapable hands--just like he would AGAIN by trusting him about "Banishment;" and AGAIN by asking Armand to wipe his memories in SanFran (and LIE by omission about Les saying "I love you, Louis").

"Louis remembers the trial, he remembers what was said and what Lestat showed him."

HOW can Lestat have showed Louis ANY memories during the Trial (inc. the Ep4 revisit), when Makers/Fledglings CANNOT read each other's minds???????

I love this show so much, but I effing hate this show--they don't even give us an answer, Daniel just moves right past it, like wtf are we supposed to do with that, AMC? There's plot threads, vs plot HOLES. Louis' TOO unreliable, Armand's a shysty liar, white savior Lestat to the rescue~~~! "BANishMEnT~!" As if Lestat's any less impartial?

Esp. when at least SOME parts of the Ep4 Revisit were OBVIOUSLY Scripted lines written by the coven to implicate Louis in breaking the Great Laws that Lestat allegedly taught him AND Claudia to follow?

Like, Louis HATES himself, and is quick to blame himself for things beyond his control (a la Paul, a la the Ordinances; "Can we be forgiven if we do not forgive others ourselves?"); so if one is determined to see him bad faith then of course one can easily pounce on him Florence DPDL style / Santiago style, and blame him.

(Esp. since in 1x4 we literally SEE Louis admit to begging & emotionally baby-trapping Lestat into turning Claudia--the revisit in 2x7 is more (melo)dramatic & extended, sure, but it does NOT contradict Louis' account in S1. So I get REAL confused when people say he lied about 1x4 or wtvr.)

Louis invalidates his perspective cuz he KNOWS he's an unreliable narrator--he spends 2x1 sobbing about wanting to remember & "get every detail right"--and ARMAND is there constantly tryna STOP the interview; having directly contributed to his already deteriorated (& inherited?) mental illness, by bending Lou's trauma into "a Lestat shaped-effigy" with all that "I will not harm you" bullcrap.

TL;DR: We won't know for sure what the Trial timeline actually looks like, unless S3+ revisits it with more context.

But as things stand at the end of S2, NO, I don't trust Armand as far as I can throw him, cuz there are waaaay too many instances where he's deliberately lied & obfuscated & omitted in ways to deliberately confuse the narrative surrounding the Trial--that go beyond Louis' already confirmed trauma, PTSD, mental illness, repressed/faulty memory, and guilty conscious.

If y'all want a timeline of S1 events, those have already been made by other people in the fandom (this one is goated).

I wanted to know what was going on in S2; so I used every single date and IRL reference possible, and put them in chronological order in a way that makes sense based on how I TENTATIVELY understand things currently; NOT how AMC has confirmed yet--if they ever will.

If anyone has more relevant in-show references & IRL sources we can cite, to help make better sense of S2 than I did, let us all know!

[gremlinmodetweeker]

I Entered Daniel's Den and I Saw the Truth Before Me

So I'm struggling a bit writing fanfiction because it's getting dark out and I'm so tired these days. However, the show must go on and so I push forward! However, just so you're all aware, there very well could come a point where I admit, I may struggle to make content and so we might not have some for a bit. But Winter will come to an end, and I will be back to normal! I just need to power through!!!

Tws: Yandere, Kidnapping, Pyschological Horror

Wordcount: 558

Art From This Post

Story Below the Cut

I Entered Daniel's Den and I Saw the Truth Before Me

König sat at the marble kitchen counter, drumming his fingers idly as he looked over the charcuterie boards again. You watched as he took inventory of the crackers, cheese and cut meats again and again, obsessively absorbing every detail into his mechanical mind. You sat silently on a bar stool as you waited for someone to make the next move.

“How long until they come?” you asked quietly.

König glanced at the clock on the oven again.

“Not too long,” he told you as much as he told himself, “Mama will be here soon.”

“Did she tell you when she’d be here?” you tried again.

König’s eyes narrowed briefly before he relaxed and said, “Soon. It shouldn’t be long now.”

You fiddled your thumbs mindlessly. Earlier you were playing with a string on the hem of your sleeve but König was quick to put an end to it, reminding you to keep up a good appearance for his family. You didn’t think a pulled string would matter too much, but König had warned you that they were far more observant than they let on. You wondered if that was true or not. You supposed you’d figure out soon enough.

For his part, König had ensured that the house was immaculate. You thought his incessant fussing would never come to an end, but it seemed that he’d finally come to a point where he couldn’t do any more. You figured that the table of hors d'oeuvres was the final piece for preparation.

If nothing else, you’d enjoyed cooking in the kitchen with König. He’d fully trusted you with the knife, though you noted he was a far more meticulous cook than you’d expected. He had been looking over your shoulder at every turn as you’d sweated a pan of mushrooms. He’d been even worse when he’d been inspecting the size of your diced onions, but at the very least he seemed to be content. He’d been sweet enough to pat you on the head and praise you for a job well done. The simple praise still had your heart fluttering.

König glanced back at the clock and muttered again under his breath. You wanted to ask what exactly he was thinking about, but he was far too focussed on the time to hear your questions. The longer you waited, the more you could see his biceps tense under his silk dress shirt. You were a bit shocked that he was determined to keep his hood on, but maybe that was a family trait? It would make sense. Or, well, you hoped it would.

You hadn’t heard anything at all about König’s family, except that his mother was the matriarch of the home and his siblings were just as demanding. Apparently, his youngest sister was a bit soft-hearted for König’s tastes, but then he’d barked out a laugh and said she probably thought he was the most cruel of the lot of them. You had only recently learned that her name was Klara. You wondered if she was similar in age to you.

Just as you turned to speak to König, the doorbell rang.

König was off like a shot to the front door. You followed behind him nervously as he strode to the front entrance.

You watched König put his hand on the brass doorknob and open the door.

Konig Dump

Alternate Universes

[lukedruid80]

MY PROBLEM WITH MINDSETS

I possibly have OCD, and i am very much sick of the shifting community always saying "Don't say you don't believe, it'll ruin your mindset" well buddy some of us CAN'T control our intrusive thoughts, can we?

Here's my tip/take on how to deal with this for shifters struggling with mindsets, especially mental health like OCD included. (Disclaimer: This works FOR ME, it is no guarantee for everyone, but this is just my tip. If it doesn't work, it may not be for you.)

I figured, why hasn't anyone talk about that we can literally rely on our emotions instead of mindsets?? Our minds can TALK, it can say unspeakable things that YOU don't even want to think about. Some of us are BUILD to be talked over by our own minds. The ONLY THING that doesn't betray our nature is our emotions.

In my personal experience, when I use my mind to say affirmations, intrusive thoughts starts sparking and it's so frustrating because I can't deal with it, and it betrays my mindset. The only thing that is REAL enough for us to believe is our hearts. Mouth, mind, words, writings can LIE. But our hearts doesn't, it only beats for truth.

I've tried to rely on my emotions, and I literally felt my s/o's head laying on my chest. That was the closest i have ever felt him, because I relied on my emotions of him. I focused on how I feel, I just let myself feel how much I miss him, how much I'm sad because I need him. Hell, I actually let myself CRY, my emotions is the strongest quality i have than my untrustworthy mind.

It's the saying in Once Upon A Time (most shifting coded show ever in my opinion), Rumplestilksin told Emma, that magic doesn't come from our mind but our emotions. He said "Stop thinking, feel it." Emma represents how a lot of people are like in this reality, she always need PROOF when all she had to do is BELIEVE. That was her flaw, and I think that's also a lot of our flaws as shifters.

If you think about it, a lot of magical or power portrayals in stories are surrounded with emotions. Avatar The Last Airbender, Zuko channeled by feeling his anger for firebending, eventually using the feeling of peace to bend. Harry Potter, the patronous spell can only be casted with happy memories, to FEEL those memories and that's how it can be casted. Teen Wolf, werebeings use anchors to help them stay grounded, the anchors are a connection to their most humane thing in life, and they feel it in order to shift back.

We overcomplicated things with our mind so much, but what makes US HUMANE is not our minds, but our emotions to feel for passion and love. Everything in this reality, is created with our hearts before mind.

Sure, mindset IS important, but what made us want to shift in the first place? Certainly it's not our head that went "oh this seems fun", it's our desires, and desire is an emotion.

Look at you, you're still here on shiftblr, you're still here to want to shift. Why is that? That FEELING of your desire, is what drives your motivation. Who's to say that emotions can't be reliable to shift?

[brighteststar707]

Set towards the end of V's route, after the explosion at Mint Eye. Seven asks questions he doesn't want the answer to.

Circling the Drain

“Will you please tell me about him?”

He tries, really tries, to not sound desperate. He’s not sure if he succeeds.

This is the first time they’ve broached the subject so openly. Ever since he connected the dots (and finally addressed the growing elephant in the room), he had been grasping for every shred of Saeran he could hold on to.

She swallows visibly and she starts to fidget with the stack of papers in front of her. They’re all scraps, things he was using to jot down sporadic notes on earlier now left over in a heap on the table.

He isn’t sure he’s ready to hear it, truth be told. He is fighting the urge to simultaneously grill her for every little detail she has and also cover his ears and start humming. Having to let go of that image of the smiling, happy boy he had clung to for so long feels like pulling up the anchor and letting himself be carried by the waves. That memory was the only thing that kept him grounded for so long.

The result is this badly-hidden desperation that he can tell she’s pretending not to notice. A small kindness.

It hangs in the room for a moment too long. He can see her assessing, maybe cutting and polishing some pieces for him so they won’t slice into him when she tells him. Or, maybe, she’s just trying to make it all fit together in her head too.  

He doesn’t fill the space. He doesn’t know what else to add. He doesn’t know how not to sound like he’s begging.

They’ve been talking for less than two weeks, but when she looks at him, he knows that she can see straight through him, down to the bone. If it’s because he’s hiding his own feelings badly for once or if she just knows him well enough already, he’s not sure.

She clears her throat. Then, voice shaky, tries to start.

“Ray… was kind.”

He notes her use of the past tense and tries not to move. Not to scream or run or bash his head against a wall.

“He was gentle and sweet. And timid. He was always worried about my wellbeing, despite the fact that I wasn’t doing anything.”

She purses her lips together. A small crease forms between her eyebrows, and Seven can see the gears turning.

“Yet he had somehow rationalized kidnapping me and holding me hostage. He genuinely believed he was keeping me safe. It’s strange, because it was obvious that Mint Eye was hurting him, even if he never said it.”

Seven flinches.

“I mean – not in front of me but it seemed – ” And her voice cuts. There is no recovery. They both know it.

“I never saw him eat properly. Or rest. He seemed to always be awake; I mean, you saw that too. And…”

A breath.

“He was scared. He pretended not to be in front of me, but he was. Of the outside, but also of Mint Eye itself. As if it was going to hurt him again.

Towards the end, he was so… desperate. It scared me, but I still can’t stop thinking about the fact that he was there till the end. Alone.”

Oh. No polishing for him then. It slices clean through him and he’s grateful for the sting of it.

He sits there, knotted around himself, waiting (hungering) for more. There has to be more. She was there, with him, in the flesh. He wants to wring her out for every little detail. Maybe, if they can remember him properly, they can bring him back somehow.  

“I’m sorry, Seven.”

He shakes his head. “No. Thank you.”

He tries to unwind himself, piece by piece. She watches. It feels like his whole being is shifting to accommodate this new information. The brother he once knew. The stranger he fought for hours.

He stands upright, unmoored. The waves toss him back and forth and he doesn’t know which way is up.   

“I’m going for a walk now.”

He will ask her again. Once the DNA results come back and he is reduced to a chasm, he will beg with a lot less composure. He will hear the good and the bad and the ugly and the scary and will spend many hours trying to piece a person back together.

But for now, he will walk until day breaks and refuse to believe the worst.

[bnhaobservation]

Thank you a lot for contributing to the discussion!

And yes, undoubtedly Quirk counseling is very likely based on the idea of teaching children to show the expected Tatemae, because, according to Japanese people, ‘Deru kui ha utareru’ (出る杭は打たれる “The nail that sticks out must be hammered down”) but in the whole fallout of Quirk counseling there's more than Himiko just behaving in an 'inappropriate way' and needing to learn which is the correct way to act, in fact it ends up being judged a curse by Heteromorphs as well, so I'll say it's also based on racistic pregiudices and the idea of 'impure blood'.

We see that Joki Joki doesn't manage to do something inappropriate with his Quirk, his 'sin' which lead him to being imprisoned is his Quirk was different than the one of his family.

Quirk discrimination started, after all when Quirk owner were accused of being a subbranch of humanity and the 'Meta' people ended up being considered freaks.

My guess is that the Quirk counseling of pre-AFO defeat is still tied to this, to the fact that not only it has to push people to drop 'undesirable' behaviours, but that he pressures who's different by using the idea if they don't conform they're subhumans, freaks, and where it's just impossible to conform (Shouji can't really cut his extra arms for example, nor Shuuichi can not look reptilian) they place in them the idea they are to blame.

Uraraka's new Quirk counseling might be expanded to include also children who instead 'fit the norm', so as to teach them to be more accepting, that the 'tatemae' they've to show toward who's different isn't one that pushes them to run away in disgust but one that accepts the differences.

Also Ochako's words previously implied that Himiko's Quirk wasn't a freak one because since she could share blood with people, she could help with transfusions, like how Eri's Quirk isn't a freak one (even though her mother thought so) because she could heal people, so it can be that the idea is that now Quirk counseling would focus on the positivity of different Quirks as well, not just tell kids they've to hide what's different because it doesn't conform but that their Quirk can do something good if used in this and this way so as to help them find a way to conform not by suppressing themselves but by using their differences positively (it's Himiko's speech at the end, how she could have lived better if she had known she could take and give blood, instead than being told solely she couldn't take it and being left unaware she could give it).

However all of the above are just speculations.

The truth is the series don't explain how exactly Quirk counseling was administered (if to all the class together or to each child in private), if children who had problems with their Quirk could have a level of privacy or if said problems were tossed in the open with a negative judgement attached (completely possible as in Japanese schools teachers often saw bullying as a way to force kids to correct their behaviour) and so on... nor it explains which exactly is the reform Uraraka brought beyond 'expanding' it.

So yes, the fact that western readers might not know about honne and tatemae or how the counseling work in Japan, nor be familiar with ideas of outcasts like eta and hinin makes undoubtedly harder to figure out how Quirk counseling work... but the fact remains that the whole thing with Quirk counseling was pretty vague, as it got mentioned a total of 6 times in the manga (Chap 22, 165, 226, 370, 392 and 460) often without going in deep with it, the last time just praising its expansion without really explaining how this would suddently make it work.

As I said in my post having more cultural knowledge can surely help, but I still think the story would have benefitted of more expansion/development on this side since it's apparently one of the important improvements... but like the whole Heteromorph situation instead it ended up being mostly sidelined so it ended up feeling less impactful... though, of course, that's just me. Again thank you for the contribute!

There something I don’t really get: Uraraka said to have expanded quirk counseling along with her group, but wasn’t that one of the factors that sent Toga spiraling: counseling only be used to push people with certain quirks to be “normal”? I agree on the surface level it’s a noble cause and the closest we got to specific actions being taken by the characters helping to fix society, but if it’s just expanded on and not reformed wouldn’t it just push people like toga feel excluded again since nothing is actually changed in the system? I don’t remember, but did Toga tell Uraraka her time in quirk counseling?

Let's start in reverse.

No, Himiko didn't tell Uraraka about her time with Quirk counseling. If Uraraka figured it out that it was the people in Quirk counseling that tolkd Himiko to stop grinning, kudos to her.

There's to say Curious knew Himiko went to Quirk counseling, so Uraraka might have also discovered about it later. It would be nice if Uraraka tried to learn more about Himiko even after her death.

Now... what's Quirkc counseling and what's wrong with it?

According to Curious:

CURIOUS '“Kosei” COUNSELING', jita rikai no yugami o kyōseishi shakaisei no suri awase o hodokosu jōsō kyōiku (read: PROGRAM). Mochiron, kanpekina PROGRAM de wa naishi, kojinsa o yori tsuyoku kanjite shimau to iu mondai o kakaete imasu. Chi o nomi henshin suru, umaretsuki motsu sono inō ni yotte anata wa “chi” ni tsuyoi kyōmi o hikareru yō ni natta. Shikashi shin no fukō wa “akogare” to iu dareshimo ga daku futsū no kanjō. Chi to akogare kamiatte shimatta nitsu no yōso wa tōtei shakai ni ukeire rareru MONO de wa nakatta. Dakara, anata wa FUTA o shita. Jishin o yokuatsu shi kamen o tsukutta.' キュリオス「『〝個性〟カウンセリング』、自他理解の歪みを矯正し社会性の擦り合わせを施す情操教育（プログラム）。もちろん、完璧なプログラムでは無いし、個人差をより強く感じてしまうという問題を抱えています。血を飲み変身する、生まれつき持つその異能によってあなたは〝血〟に強い興味を引かれるようになった。しかし真の不幸は〝憧れ〟という誰しもが抱く普通の感情。血と憧れ噛み合ってしまった２つの要素は到底社会に受け入れられるモノではなかった。だから、あなたはフタをした。自信を抑圧し仮面を作った。」 Curious "Quirk counseling, it's an emotional education (read: program) to correct distortions in self-understanding and others, and to adjust for socialization. Of course, it's not a perfect program, and it has the problem of making individual differences even more apparent. Your innate ability to transform by drinking blood has made you very interested in "blood". However, your true misfortune is "admiration", a normal emotion that anyone can have. The two elements that go together, blood and admiration, were never going to be accepted by society. So you put a lid on it. You suppressed your confidence and made a mask."

Basically the purpose of Quirk counseling is to help people harmoniously cope with their Quirk and society... but the downside of Quirk counseling is it doesn't really work toward having people accept themselves and be accepted by society, but just tries to remove whatever undesirable trait by suppressing it.

In Himiko's case they told her to stop acting 'abnormal'. I don't know how they handle Heteromorphs but the Heteromorphs have a bone to pick with Quirk counseling as they can't really hide/suppress their appearance.

Now... how expanding it might help something that doesn't work?

It can be that the whole expanding was a typing mistake, early on in chap 22 it was implied all the kids in elementary school receive Quirk counseling, so what does it mean to expand it if all the kids have access to it when they turn 6?

Or it can be that 'expanding' refers to expanding the resources put into Quirk counseling. If more people work at it with more time they might figure out which problems it has and help the children better.

In fact if few resources are put in the program, of course the program will rush to a quick and easy fix that will often not work in the long run. However, if more resources are put in it, people might put more efforts in helping the kids.

Said all this, Quirk counseling was really not well expanded or explained in the story, and mostly tossed in.

It might make sense for Japanese readers as Japanese schools have a counseling program (it seems schools in USA also have it but their own is different) and it turned out this Japanese counseling program needs reform so Japanese readers might see the Quirk counseling program as based on the counseling program of their schools, think it work the same and guess it also have the same problems.

For who's not Japanese, especially if they don't come with a school with a counseling program, the whole thing feels like something Horikoshi tossed in, left it mostly unexplained and generally showed it was bad/poorly working.

We don't see value in it because the story hardly showed us it had value (with Himiko it ruined her, with the Masegaki kids it didn't work, with the Heteromorphs it made them feel worse) so an ending that says 'yay, let's expand it' feels like they want to expand something that makes more harm that good out of nowhere... but again, this might be because we miss the cultural context in which said program is meant to be read.

Still, I really wish Horikoshi had developed it more because while it had potential, it mostly went untapped so it lost it's potential when it got mentioned again at the end of the story.

Thank you for your ask! I love to talk about BNHA! I hope my reply was somewhat of some help!

[pocketramblr]

Absolutely love your writing for all the AU/5 headcanons asks. Can I ask: AU where Rei cheats on Endeavor with All Might? It happens after AM's injury, so she doesn't recognize him, and he ofc doesn't know that she's married in the first place, much less to whom

you make this very difficult for me by giving me a window of 6 and half years for them to have an affair and for every single moment of that window, Rei is institutionalized. how am i supposed to get them to meet, much less take their clothes off. ok. think. there are other fic writers who specialize in this kind of thing, surely. what would they do....

1- ok so. The fire alarm at the hospital goes off. Rei doesn't know if it's a drill or not, but she's been there for seven years and generally does not need a lot of support during something like this like other patients do, so the nurses wave her out and she stands around outside a bit waiting for the fire alarm to stop and them to go back in. (It isn't a drill, they wouldn't have evacuated everyone if it was, but Rei is on the other side of the building and facing away from seeing any smoke) (This smoke is from a villain attack that All Might is taking care of, though he's only got seconds left of his power to use that day. he quickly rushes off, deflating and stumbling out on the other side of the hospital. Where Rei is.)

2- Rei is like "huh that guy doesnt seem to be in good shape" and kinda waves attention at him, and a nurse who's passing out water to patients and keeping an eye on the road gives Toshinori some too, getting more concerned when he dazedly answers that he's All Might and coughs up blood, but the nurse figures he's concussed since he smells of smoke and must have been closer to the fight, and is just reeling from being able to see the number one hero in person. Then they get distracted and wave Toshi to wait nearby, where Rei offers to chill his water and asks if he's alright, if he breathed in any smoke.

3- They chat and then go back into the hospital as it's un-evacuated together, Rei hanging out in the lobby where he sits as the hospital staff focus on getting everyone else back to their rooms. It pays to be low priority sometimes. Eventually she tells him her name is Rei and that she's in room K18, if he ever wants to visit or call. She doesn't get to talk to anyone except doctors, family visitors, or other paitients, and most of them don't stay nearly as long as she does. It's been seven years, and she's very lonely. Toshinori is lonely too, and when he's out of time for a day and feeling useless with nothing to do, he likes to talk to a friend.

4- Rei has been in the hospital for eight years when it gets physical. At that point, Toshinori knows a bit about her family. She has kids, mentions visits from a son and daughter, and then quietly mentioned when her son turned seventeen- her daughter's already twenty. She's been there for so much of their lives. He asks if she's married, and she admits she isn't sure how to file for divorce in a hospital like she is, if she even can, if she wants to because she'd lose custody, if it matters when she's not raising them anyway. He doesn't ask much more, knows there is a dead child and a baby she says isn't safe with her there. Toshinori never called Nana 'mom' to her face while she was alive, and had a reason for it, and has a similar reason for not asking more, not asking for the other names when he gets Fuyumi and Natsuo's. Yes, the doctors and nurses all know Rei has a boyfriend who visits. they don't say anything. who would they even tell, anyway. I debated the humor of reusing the bit from candlelight shoto that Toshi and Rei could have a kid with a fire quirk, but yeah here? Rei ain't getting pregnant, absolutely not.

5- When Natsuo turns eighteen, Rei does actually file for divorce, or at least tries to get the ball rolling on that. Toshinori's trusted her that her marriage is over in all but name, but he's more at ease with it ended fully. Fuyumi is crushed but burying it all deep inside. Natsuo is like 'what are you talking about. divorce is the most normal possible outcome here.' But anyway, Rei also begins to bring up being discharged- something she never bothered with earlier, when it seemed like she'd never be able to go home while Shoto was there, and never would want to go back anyway. (Her parents are absolutely not an option either so where would she go once discharged? the hospital was her only security.) Toshinori then tells her at this point about his diagnosis, that he's supposed to be terminal, in a way. He doesn't have a lot of time he can give her. Rei says that's ok, she'll take what she can get. She moves in. Fuyumi still goes out to eat with her once a week, though Rei doesn't say she's moved in with a boyfriend, just says she's in a safe place and it's not Fuyumi's job to worry about it, please, let her do that, relax, be her daughter instead of a mother. Natsuo adds her to his cellphone plan and gets her one. Rei doesn't tell Toshinori her ex's identity. Toshinori doesn't tell her about OfA, though she does know he's mentoring a student for heroics and is very proud of him. (Toshinori is a secretary at Might Tower, he's a great mentor. Oh huh, he got a job position at UA at the same time as All Might, she wonders if they carpool.)

+1- OK THE REVEAL so the reveal is. Toshinori gets home from the SF. And Rei almost knocks him out by the door, eyes wide and panicked, asking if he's ok, if Shoto's ok. Toshinori is like "... young todoroki? yeah he's alright? i know his fight with young bakugo looked bad but- Rei???" And that's when it all clicks for him, he's having dozens of horrible realizations at once, all while Rei weeps over her youngest. Toshinori's been a hero for a very, very long time. He's felt hopeless, before. But even then, he's known what needs to be done, he just isn't able to do it. But now? he's at a complete loss with no idea what he should do.

[queencaramilflinda]

Everyone during neverafter 15: oh my god these social interactions are going horribly they’re all doing so bad!

Me, neurodivergent and cannot read social cues: idk mostly these seem fine

[faaun]

oh my god ! haha . anyway a bit buzzed perhaps. anyway here's what happened on the date

[neck-thats-made-for-bruising]

Whenever this gets brought up my mom always says "aw I know how you feel I have body dysmorphia too :(" bro I don't have body dysmorphia I know I'm skinny and most of the time I like how I look that's not even the problem so literally just stop brining it up constantly

[the-hopeless-haze]

Ok but Wilson baby girl this isn’t why House told Stacy to leave.

I think it’s interesting how House didn’t tell Wilson that he talked to Mark. That scene is probably the best Mark is in and like the desperation like he’s at the end of his rope and he’s where House was five years ago. House’s face when Mark says “I don’t know how to stop yelling at her” he recognizes that…. I don’t know how to not transfer this pain I’m feeling and I don’t know how to not resent you. That scene where both of the men Stacy fucked over (the original girlboss fr) that scene where both of them are struggling to walk up the stairs and Mark has to lean on House like it’s so good.

But Mark will get better. House knows Stacy is running to him because it’s bad right now but Mark is going to get better. House is not. And… he knows the pain of being left behind by a partner when struggling with a disability.

[mars-ipan]

currently thinking abt the despair disease and the character analysis potential it brings

[tacochippy]

??? Plenty of straight women believed and defended Johnny Depp (despite all the evidence that he was an abusive piece of shit)

A lot of women have internalised misogyny and inherently believe men over women

You see it all the time in fan spaces

These things can be true simultaneously !!

I know this is a thing that happens because it happened to my dad. His job? Lost. His friends? Left him. Nobody (other than our family, which is more than most can say in this situation) beleived my dad when he said he would never do that to my mother or to his kids. My dad would never do anything like that, to anyone, for many reasons. I know this for a fact.

Its a thing that happens. Its not every time (heavens no), but it still happens. Lots of women get beelived immediately.

It also doesnt need to be brought to court! Its mostly just rumour spreading, from whst ive seen firsthand and been told.

Women dont beleived often, but when they do if theyre lying it causes all sorts of problems.

And btw, i am saying this as a sexual absue victim who didnt get help for years because nobody beleived her. So i have seen and been through both sides of the story.

[chemicalarospec]

My experience with Hannibal so far:

Jeff the killer: kills people. Mutilates and eats them too.

Me: Yeah that's alright with me (skipping the eye gore tho)

Jeff the evil liar: evilly lies to someone about the cause of their psychosis

Me: I Am Not Okay With This

[fragmentedblade]

I hate that when I look up the "Kalpas" tag here there's me and then there's me again, but on another blog. Fake moustache me