#also im not saying youre proving my point about people not understanding that women can do bad things sometimes

[tacochippy]

??? Plenty of straight women believed and defended Johnny Depp (despite all the evidence that he was an abusive piece of shit)

A lot of women have internalised misogyny and inherently believe men over women

You see it all the time in fan spaces

These things can be true simultaneously !!

I know this is a thing that happens because it happened to my dad. His job? Lost. His friends? Left him. Nobody (other than our family, which is more than most can say in this situation) beleived my dad when he said he would never do that to my mother or to his kids. My dad would never do anything like that, to anyone, for many reasons. I know this for a fact.

Its a thing that happens. Its not every time (heavens no), but it still happens. Lots of women get beelived immediately.

It also doesnt need to be brought to court! Its mostly just rumour spreading, from whst ive seen firsthand and been told.

Women dont beleived often, but when they do if theyre lying it causes all sorts of problems.

And btw, i am saying this as a sexual absue victim who didnt get help for years because nobody beleived her. So i have seen and been through both sides of the story.

[the-sappho-of-lesbos]

hi, sorry if this isnt a good blog to send this to i just dont know where to turn atm (if this isnt a good blog to ask for help plz lmk where would be better, soz). im 22 and figuring out im sapphic & im trying to join online lesbian spaces but everyone seems so anti-babydyke and im starting to notice that being a lesbian is more about discourse and infighting than it is about wanting to kiss a lady. i thought it was about kissin ladies and thats what i want but how do i make other lesbians not hate me? i feel like all of the other lesbians expect me to have a PhD in lesbianism before i call myself that, before i consider a femme attractive, its like i have to pass thru all these hoops to prove myself even to other queers that im a real lesbian because i can name every lesbian historical figure. again super sorry if this is a bad blog to send this to i do not have a clue who to ask about this or anything im totally lost rn lol (genuinely sorry for literally being that annoying baby dyke ppl complain about rn. ignore me if you want im not gonna be tilted. thx for listening

This isn’t a bad blog to send this too. I’m just genuinely sorry you are going through this and I’m sorry if I don’t have a way to help. But I’ll try my best!! And maybe some more people in the comments will be able to help in ways I can’t.

But just know I’m sending you lots of love and that there isn’t anything wrong with you. At the end of the day, regardless of whatever else is happening, your sexuality really is just simply who you are attracted to. And that’s okay. You are enough ♥️♥️

(I’m also going into this assuming you are at least 18+, so I apologise if I’m wrong on that )

Firstly , you aren’t just seeing things. There is definitely a lot of infighting in the community. Like a lot. I would say it’s typically more intense and in your face online then it is IRL, but I’ve also seen IRL gay groups go really deep off the end with with this stuff.

From what I have read and from people I have talked to, this has sadly sort of always been a thing. We just have different waves of it and different things it might be focused on based on the time period and the world events affecting that at the time. I think in general it’s a very human thing that allllll groups do, but when you are in a marginalised, oppressed and small group of people it can feel a whole lot more concentrated and obvious because there is less room for it to go.

Again, this is just based on conversations I’ve had and things I’ve read, so take it with a grain of salt. But there has also been misunderstandings, disagreements and different beliefs on what things are , what they mean and who should do what in the community. Ranging from politics to fashion to marriage to sex to identities around butch/femme and what it means. For one piece saying something you have another saying something different.

This can cause a lot of confusion and infighting amongst people. A lot of tension at times. And because of trauma a lot of people tend to want to be around people with similar alignments in understanding and belief.

A lot of things can affect that like age , location etc.

But none of that is a reflection of you or your worth or your sexuality. And there ARE people in the same boat as you. Even when it doesn’t feel like it.

There have been waves in the past of some women using and or claiming lesbianism to be a response to sexism. We are currently living in the time after that. And because of that a lot of opinions and thoughts and actions taken place are in a response to that wave. Be it people trying to push it , denounce it , confused by it or hurt by it.

I think this has lead to some of the scaffolding of the current culture we have today.

I understand that need and drive for community and the horrible feeling that can come along when the said community feels like it is in shambles. I feel that way a lot too. And I’m sorry I can’t take that away.

I feel like I’m rambling at this point I’m sorry.

I just want to say though there is nothing you have to prove to anyone. We all figure this stuff out at our own pace. Anyone who treats you poorly for not knowing something or just genuinely not showing interest in it is on them. Your lesbianism doesn’t mean you owe anyone an opinion or a certain way of dressing or feeling. The only person you owe is yourself and that is to show kindness to yourself and be around people who respect you and love you for the wonderful lesbian that you are.

EDIT : I just re-read and you said you are 22 I’m so sorry I missed that 😩

[nellzzzzzsblogg]

Late night thoughts:

Is it silly that I crave some female bisexual representation, I need it so bad, I know nick nelson is good bisexual representation but he's a boy, and I'm a girl, and I feel like my feelings are valid in the same way because I am a female, I just want some bisexual representation that isn't some side character, not like Sarah, I need an actual popular female bisexual character who is the main character and her bisexuality is part of the show, she has to be confident but also have struggles.

I want to play a character like that what I do badly need, it just proves how representation can change people, I crave the representation that I don't have because it makes me feel invalid or that I'm supposed to be secretive about bisexuality when it comes to women, and I know queer representation has come a long way in the last decade but I need more, I need some female bisexual representation, and this doesn't include female Bisexuals who only date men or, their bisexuality has nothing to do with the plot. I need something like a heartstopper, that kind of fluffiness but also angst that makes you understand people's point of view more, I just really badly want that for myself and for other bi girls who feel like this.

I know there is wlw shows but most of them are lesbians or like I said earlier, side characters, I just need a female bisexual character who is confident and nice and like me I want a me in as a character, I'm not the most interesting person but it's what I need, accepting my sexuality would be so much easier if I had that representation that would help me along the way, my problem with my sexuality is that I have no bisexual friends, or I sort of did but they all ended up being like "oh yeah, it was a phase" and it hurts to know that I don't have anyone like me, don't get me wrong having queer Friends in general is a big help but nobody understands my feelings in the same way because they're not me, and I don't think I can truly accept my bisexuality until i have somebody like that.

How long do I have to wait till I can get the representation, me and so many other young girls need, especially during this age when knowing your sexuality is so pressured, it doesn't feel like I can be truly comfortable with it until I have someone demonstrating that for me, and to show me that it is okay and it will be okay, I don't know how long I will have to wait for this, maybe I'll do it myself.

I need a celebrity or something who uses bisexuality as part of their personality, because as much as people complain it helps so many people, and make them feel like it's okay to be who they truly are, but I can't think of any female bisexual celebrities who being bisexual is a staple part of them. For example Chappell roan, she uses being a lesbian as part of her personality which is so refreshing for young lesbians and old ones as well, it can help so many girls, but I don't have that for a bisexual woman, and I want one who actually dates females and males (not that it's invalid but I just need it for myself) I need a celebrity/character who actually likes men and woman equally and isn't afraid to show it.

I don't think people understand how badly I want and need this for myself and others.

If you read the whole thing, thank you for reading my vent/rant

(This is in no way saying that people who are even more underrepresented aren't important I just was voicing my own thoughts and feelings)

[tariah23]

im back to say after reading your tags/ramblings on this new jjk chapter yeah everyone shitting on shoko and yuta for this are like? how.

especially with shoko (as you know i think about her a lot) i'm not surprised she reacted this way considering she has seen all of her friends die basically and she definitely deals with dead sorcerers on the daily that she probably knew in life considering she's the main healer. in my headcanons she recognizes a lot of the people who eventually end up dead on her exam table.

plus as you mentioned her reaction to geto's mass murder is super chill. she was never going to have a breakdown over fucked up shit? at least not outwardly, unfortunately we don't really get a look in her head. also god forbid a woman have interest in dead/macabre things and/or not give 110% emotionally at all times.

personally i enjoy satosugu (insert multishipper nuance here) but the fandom surrounding the ship is very...... can you think about any other character? please??? can you also see satoru and suguru as individuals???? PLEASE?

the manga is not your satosugu fanfiction there are other characters here that matter...

IT’S SO BAD!!! THEY ARE ACTING LIKE HIS STUDENTS AND FRIENDS WANTED THIS!?!! And are refusing to look at the story from a narrative standpoint outside of shipper/fanon shit… They do this literally every time something huge and awful happens. They always end up making it about a damn ship, completely glossing over the characters themselves and their intentions. It’s so frustrating. The Gojo and Getou they talk about is barely even them… those are OC’s!!!

And the only reason why they’re talking so negatively about Shoko is because they hate women 🗣️🗣️🗣️!!! It’s crazy, she’s literally a doctor who specializes in the dead. She’s a mortician!!! Like, you’ve stated, she’s been burying her colleagues and friends since she was a teenager. I’m sure she’s used to the business now. Even if it’s hard, if you’re in this line of work, people who work with the dead tend to not find it as torturous and haunting as any normal person would because death is an extension of life. They don’t view death as this big, scary, horrible thing they way people who don’t work with the dead/aren’t used to dealing with death, are. That’s why in rl, morticians and doctors might come off as extremely fickle and end uncomfortably nonchalant regarding death. They don’t view dying and the dead in the same way we would. They find comfort in knowing that they can help the grieving pass on the best way that they can by taking care of their bodies in their most vulnerable moments on earth. It would’ve been nice to see more of Shoko’s reactions and knowing about more of her feelings regarding Gojo’s passing because like I’ve stated before, Gege really fumbled her character and because of the way he wrote her, it makes it easier for fans who already don’t care about her, to mischaracterize and misunderstand her intentions, labeling them as “callous,” and “inconsiderate,” despite her having always been this way since the very beginning. She didn’t even so much as flinch when Getou had confirmed to her that he’d committed a massacre, killing over 100 people in the process. They were talking so casually as if they were talking about the weather. She had to fix up Haibara, probably one of their very first friends who she’d most likely ever had to work on… it’s just, I hate how the people bashing her really DON’T understand her character at all and have never once tried to and they’re constantly proving my point. They expected her to be sobbing in every panel, grabbing onto Gojo’s tight…, Sexy ass, black t-shirt, holding on for dear life and screaming at him to wake up and they absolutely HATE that a female character wouldn’t give that to them 🚶🏾‍♀️. I’m so sorry Shoko… they’re acting like Getou would’ve been the only one to feel bad about all of this simply because they ship them and forgot all about canon.

As for Yuuta… oh brother. The fact that all of Gojo’s students do care about him and have always admired him… Yuuta didn’t want this at all… but he knew that he HAD to do it in the end and so did the others. Knowing the kind of trauma that he’d suffered himself. The pain and isolation that he had to deal with because he was too afraid of hurting people so he pushed them away and purposely isolated himself. He’s canonically tried to take his own life on multiple occasions. After meeting Gojo, he learned that he had just as much as a right to live as anyone else and that he mattered. He chose life. Gojo, alongside the friends he’d made, made a huge impression on him and it makes me happy whenever I think about it. He used his strength to protect others and learned to see his strength as a good thing instead of a curse that separated him from society. Gojo already knows what it’s like to be lonely and lived with that till the very end. But he made sure to let his students know that they all were worth living. This is literally why he wanted to become a teacher in the first place!!! Have the fans forgotten just how much he adores his students!?!! Yuuta knew exactly how Gojo must’ve felt… even taking over his body, he didn’t need to view his memories to find out.

Even if it is, from a narrative standpoint, incredibly disgusting, Gojo gave them permission because he values the lives of the people he cares about, especially the kids (ppl always forget that he loves children 😭… he’s do anything for them), above his own. When it comes to the kids, he knows that he’s the adult in the situation. Just like Nanami, it’s the adults duty to protect the children and he feels the same way. His corpse gave them a way to fight back and he gladly gave it to them as sad as this might sound… He’s always been this way and we all know why. Come on. He’d always seen it as his duty to protect and shield them from the horrors of the real world that would soon hurt them back. I hate that he’s still being used as a weapon in his death so much, it really makes me want to cry, I could barely sleep 😭… but man…, whenever stuff like this happens, it just goes to show that not everyone was reading the story with their eyes open. Blame it on shipper brainrot.

[oh-my-damn]

So sorry about the long ask im about to submit! I know you may not post because your asks are getting repetitive but i just need to rant. I just want to thank you so much for unpacking how unhealthy all of this bullshit is, hopefully it opens some eyes to how problematic every aspect of this situation has been thus far! I sent in a long ask to Maddy earlier this morning (more like a novel ranting about this lol) but it sounds like assholes are harassing and bullying her again so asks are understandably off right now and mine may have been lost in what sounds like a mountain of hate that is wrongfully being sent her way.

I'm just so soured on Chris at the moment it's even ruined his characters for me unfortunately (hopefully that's not permanent lol). This all just has such predatory undertones in my opinion. Especially the video from yesterday, and the seemingly very intentional power imbalance, it's all very questionable to me. In that chin video in particular he seemed very mean spirited and almost malicious if that makes sense, almost like he wanted to humiliate her. And like you said in a previous post and I touched on I'm my ask to Maddy, everything we've been told has been a lie to sell a narrative, it's all so disingenuous now. The whole I grew up around women, I'm a feminist, looking back it's such bullshit. The whole copy and paste milestones and moments from woman to woman proves that too. To my mind, there's only two conclusions to draw from that, either you think women are all the same and are not in fact complex human beings with their own desires and interests and so you copy and paste! Or you don't like or care enough about women as people to even consider their interests and all that matters is what you want to do and so you copy and paste. Either way its gross to me. Real or pr doesn't matter to me anymore, I'm staying for the implosion because I've sunk enough time into this for it to feel like a waste to bow out now. Either way I don't think I'll ever look at him the same way again.

The chin video - I can't watch that video with grimacing. The way he pans off and bursts out laughing at the end really does it for me. She is unaware of what exactly is going on, seemingly, and doesn't know what it looks like. To me, her laugh sounds more awkward and hesitant but she's going along with it because he's laughing and thinks it's funny. But then when she says "I don't know what to say" and he pans off, his laugh sounds almost mocking, more like he's laughing at her than with her.

And I think that's the point for me with those two videos. He's not posting her saying or doing something funny on purpose. He's not posting a video of her in a cute moment, for example, getting ready for her movie premiere and he captures her humming along and he thinks it's adorable, he's not capturing a genuine sweet moment that happened organically between them. All of the videos he posts are things done to capture a video (scare, chin, mario), almost setting her up like a little fucking doll to make content on her expense, BUT those last two, they were not filmed because she's funny.

They were because she was doing something not purposely funny that he finds funny at her expense. Even the end of the mario video, if you watch it back, you can tell he actually isn't the one filming. Someone else is.

At the end of it, there's a another mans chuckle, and if you listen carefully (I was wearing headphones) when she loses the game and covers her face, you can HEAR Chris turning in the direction of the person filming and laughing at her, to him, where this third person then chuckles in response before ending the video.

To the naked eye, the videos may seem endearing and them "having a good time" but a lot of it is also him laughing at her for looking stupid or making a mistake, like not being able to play mario, a video we know she doesn't like (probably because she thinks its embarrassing, in some way. We all know how it can feel when people are watching you do something and you fail at it. If you feel completely safe, it's not scary, but if some part of you wants to impress said individual, it can be terribly embarrassing).

That's not endearing, it is not cute, and especially not with everything else taken into account, like the fact that he holds all the power in their relationship, and right now, he also holds all the power in how she is portrayed to the world, because she doesn't have any social media herself. So all the GP knows about this girl is what he's putting out there.

The feminism point is spot on. I remember in Jenny's book, she mentioned how her "head exploded" because he wouldn't stop talking and that he would care so much about the issues he couldn't accept any situation where he wasn't right about it. So in translation: if she told him something about what it's like to be a woman, he would argue with that and try to mansplain what it's like to be a woman and why all men should be feminists. It's talking about feminism in a healthy way turned on it's head because the conversation still ends up being about the man and what a great man he is, for being a feminist. I've experienced it before and her words rang so true to me, I could picture it immediately.

I'm the same regarding bowing out. Right now I also just want to be able to offer a space for all of you who send me asks (more than I can keep up with) while still trying to keep some semblance of the fandom I used to love. So I still adore his characters, I don't want to cut ties with them, and in some parts I still like the Chris we used to know because a small part of me still hopes it wasn't all a ruse, that some parts of that were the real him, and that right now he's having a meltdown because of turning 40 and not being at the point in his career and life he had hoped he'd be. Desperate men do desperate things.

It's not an excuse though, and I hope people remember that regarding this whole con thing; it's another desperate move on his end. He's losing control and he absolutely hates it.

[maddyshome]

hey just wanted to say that gege akutami has a lot of astrological knowledge. I definitely think that moon square mercury is one of the main aspects to realize this. gege akutami has this aspect too, and it's even more clear because gojo satoru also has this aspect in his birth chart. I've always wondered why gege akutami says in his interviews how he hates gojo satoru and it's clear when you realize their moon/mercury square each other!

interesting opinion but moon square mercury represents a blockage to verbally expressing your own feelings. people with this aspect most of the time gaslight or joke about a situation to not express how they truly feel. so the aspect itself doesnt show interest in astrology or occult, but more like the incapability of expressing yourself.

nevertheless, i see your point and i do agree that gege hates gojo because well...he acts like gojo. on the flip side, he loves nanami because nanami is the kind of man he would like to be. someone genuinely caring and responsible.

truth is...hmm gege is most likely identifying with gojo and he hates it. you know being a boy not a man. since gojo himself..his ideals and mindset is something that a boy would have, not a grown man who has developed himself as a person. im saying this just looking at his author notes. not saying its a bad thing, but it can be a bad thing in certain aspects of life.

for example a grown person would not really care that much about proving anything to sukuna. would not care if sukuna is the strongest or someone else is since its just not that important who is the better jujutsu sorcerer here. whats important is what you do as a sorcerer. you know, how boys want to be admired and have a high status with all the money they want, many cars, a lot of women etc. they see these things as very important in life. but we, most of us, know that they are really not. of course money is important. you need money to live and have a good life, but it doesnt matter how many women you have if none truly loves you, it doesnt matter how many cars you have since you cannot drive them all. youre just going to let them get rusty in the garage.

gojo, like a boy, seeks understanding, but he is not trying to give the same understanding to others. see my point?

so yes gojo is a man child to me. and maybe gege is kind of aware he can act like one too so thats why he hates him.

i do think im right with saying this because in canon gojo's afterlife is his teenage years. that's the moment he stopped growing up and moving outside of his box, society. he was stuck, even as an adult, in that time. it's very important to notice that he and his friends were back to being teenagers and not adults like how they died.

he didn't see geto as he truly was, but as his past self, his close friend.

he didn't see nanami as he truly was, but as his junior.

and if that was part of his friends souls then nanami absolutely called him out on this.

[redtail-lol]

heyey dw abt dykepridee

everything theyve sent was in assuming bad faith and theyre not worth arguing with. they're just trying to stir up discourse to feel superior about themselves

dont worry, dont waste your energy, Im sorry theyre bothering you. they came up to me and 2 other people as well, assumed I romanticised stalking with 0 proof past the gender itself, called faunic attraction 'no-dick attraction' which is super insensitive, and reblogged someone else assuming a term related to sleepiness must be romanticising... narcolepsy, out of every other possible sleep disorder?

I have no idea how someone is okay with being a pan lesbian while they constantly assume bad faith about identities theyre unfamiliar with, aka you know, the same thing people are doing to mspec lesbians.

@kirugorture

Thank you. I don't get why someone, especially someone who is nonbinary, sees a post that essentially boils down to "nonbinary people are not men or women and they shouldn't be misgendered by people calling themselves monosexual because apparently being attracted to nonbinary genders 'doesn't count' as mspec because they're not one of the 'REAL genders' and people who are attracted to women and enby genders only can call themselves mspec lesbians or just lesbians but by calling themselves mono they are saying those nb people are just women" and has an issue with it.

Also good to know about faunic, because I literally... Am faunic?? It's not "no-dick attraction" it's being attracted to people who are not men, and I'm actually favorable to dating non-op trans women and AMAB enbies. I'm a non-man and I'm attracted to non-men and I'm allowed to have a label to describe that. If it's a bad definition for lesbian then fine now it isn't for lesbian it's for faunic/daunic. Not being attracted to men, and wanting a label for that... Isn't wrong? At all?

(also genital preferences are valid so L + Ratio dykepridee people are allowed to not like dick or not like pussy and that's FINE.)

I don't think they even understand what I was saying. I wasn't excluding nb-attracted lesbians from being lesbians, or even exclusive lesbians. I am one! I call myself an exclusive lesbian all the time. It's just not mono. It will never be mono to be attracted to women AND to people who are not women!! Yet exclusionists constantly define themselves as mono even though they include nb folk, which is misgendering them, and my post was to call out the rampant misgendering of nonbinary people that these lesbians partake in, even some being nonbinary themselves, because otherwise they'd have to acknowledge that mspec lesbians make sense and are valid

In short: my whole purpose in writing the post was to call out the rampant misgendering of nonbinary people within the (exclus) lesbian community for the purpose of pretending lesbian is a strictly monosexual label. People never talk about it and it needs to be talked about.

Their "counterpoint" that no one cares in real life is so... Bad. It missed the point, it was pretty clear they had entirely missed the point, and also, "no one in real life cares" is a stupid counterargument in any "debate." For one, I exist outside of tumblr and I care. For two, I don't care what happens at pride parades. Misgendering nonbinary people (who do not identify as women at all) is not okay, no matter how much people at a parade care about strangers. If you can't actually prove why I'm wrong, your point is null and void.

Also "I'm almost 30, my back hurts, and I just woke up" bitch nobody gives a fuck about your back hurting, it's clearly too early for you to use your brain, and you're a whole grown adult arguing with a child online. That's real mature.

[cruelsister-moved2]

hi im not reblogging ur post bc i like to keep my blog lighthearted but i wanna thank you for calling out bad behaviour in the community while still acknowledging that trans men can have experiences with misogyny and less power than cis men. i see so many posts lacking this kind of nuance (in either direction) and seeing your post was a breath of fresh air also youre so right

aw thank you i appreciate this<3 i think we get a ton of crossed wires because when trans men are held accountable for misogyny they feel like they're having their own understanding of misogyny invalidated and being told that they have to choose between being a man and being a good person. the thing is, you can understand misogyny just fine and still benefit from it. i posted a great article a while back about how men in gender studies and women's studies can demonstrate an extremely in-depth understanding of misogyny and yet still benefit from & even perpetuate it.

the point i was trying to make is that misogyny isn't just men saying bad things and it isn't just men being inexplicably evil in some way. it's a system we all live in, and marginalised people are also capable of upholding it for their own gain (or just passively benefiting from it without even knowing) even when it's not in their best interests in the grand scheme of things.

tbh i feel like where 99% of people go wrong is not understanding trans men as like, just another type of marginalised man? we KNOW that marginalised men's access to male privilege is conditional and situational and usually it means power over marginalised women in exchange for obedience to white heteropatriarchy. it feels like we r constantly being roped into a childish debate over whether trans men are essentially identical to white cishet men, or are they something which is shaped like a man but doesnt actually function like a man in society in any way.

and the thing is... a man isn't an essential thing. manhood is a jealously guarded institution of privilege. marginalised men often find themselves defending in the hopes of gaining access to it, and sometimes in some contexts they do. there aren't monolithic male and female experiences. black men can know what it's like to be afraid to walk down the street, disabled men can know what it's like to have your reproductive freedom restricted, gay men can know what it's like not to be seen as a man at all. i dont like the conversations where both sides are trying to sort people into static victim/perpetrator categories. so for one side, examples of victimhood prove they can't be perpetrators and for the other, examples of perpetration prove they can't be victims. i feel like the fact that certain trans men's response to these conversations is "well im not perceived as a man/don't access white male cishet privilege in xyz situation" shows a fundamental misunderstanding of what privilege even is. it's all very essentialist!!

[thotja]

thoughts on Predator: Eyes of the Demon

overall not as ground breaking as I was hoping for (granted im a weird transsexual fag IRL so i guess i have a lot of expectations that are unlikely to be met by the average sci fi author), but still some decent stories! i'd say 6.5-7/10 overall. rating for each of the stories under the cut (to keep this post from being like. a mile long):

• "The Titans" by Tim Lebbon – underwhelming plot but i enjoyed their poetic rivalry. 6/10 • "The Distance in Their Eyes" by Stephen Graham Jones – good little story with a twist. Didn't think much of it at first but I keep thinking about it. 9/10 • "Aftermath" by Bryan Thomas Schmidt – ENOUGH. OF. DUTCH. let the poor guy rest! that being said, the way we get a tantalizing 3 paragraphs or so of "baby's first hunt" is SO charming. would have been more if it was focused on HIM not dutch but it was ALL about Dutch so. 3/10 • "Proving Ground" by Linda D. Addison – yautja-centric! and focusing on political maneuvering! yippee! sadly still kinda whatever. 7/10 • "Lion of the Himalayas" by Ammar Habib – human focused but a much needed change of setting and at least was unique. One of the better stories imo! 8.5/10 • "The Fix is In" by Jonathan Maberry – another capitalist-military future story (i hate this genre btw) but i'm obsessed with the single surviving yautja tricking a group of humans just to hijack their ship since his was irrevocably fucked. kudos to you, bro! 5.5/10 • "Bitter Hunt" by Kim May – this one just raised too many questions it didn't have the length to answer. why was your son going around killing women and children??? at least u killed him yourself. i would be sooooo embarrassed in her shoes. i would say if it got more space to flesh itself out, it could've been great. but this version we get is solidly a 6.5/10 • "Field Trip" by Robert Greenberger – THE INFAMOUS BIRTH AND NURSING STORY!!!!!! i think i have the most beef with the world building in this story out of all them. like. why the fuck were her novices such misogynists??? hello?????? like ZERO respect / understanding of reproduction. u were a baby once too you know?! funny setup, annoying teen boy type behavior, questionable mom choices too (if she didn't want to have da baby on earth then why sign up for this job so close to your due date?), but ultimately, the reason i chose this book in the first place. so 10/10 for getting me, keeping me, and making me mad. • "Cannon Fodder" by Gini Koch – girl power! would have been better if they were lesbians at the end. 6/10 • "Little Miss Nightmare" by Peter Briggs – I like this writer's style the most out of all the other authors featured. I thought his human characters were at least interesting. AND the yautja featured was more of an anthropologist vs being exclusively there to trophy people. so she had more curiosity. I think a lack of curiosity in people's yautja characters is the most disservice they can do to them. 9.5/10 • "The Trophy" by A.R. Redington – NOT HOW IT WOULD'VE GONE DOWN. TAKING LOTSA POINTS FOR THAT. 2/10 (objectively not a bad story. but makes me mad) • "The Monster" by Michael Kogge – hey I've been there! really funny to have bigfoot fight predator, but underwhelming-ly written. 6/10 • "Ghost Story" by Joshua Pruett – I suspect you are not a geologist. 5/10 • "Sly Dark in the Daylight" by Yvonne Navarro – really funny to have a Bad Blood be the main yautja in the story. human centric of course but at least it was a different setup than typical "yautja hunting humans" type thing. Kinda addicted to the ending but also not how it would've ended in my opinion. 6/10 • "Dead Man's Switch" by Scott Sigler – yeah yeah engineered super beast hunting facility attracts yautja. of course. 6/10

[a-moment-captured]

my gosh you're problematic again?? not really surprised. This situation only proves even more why you have no problem with women like Tori. Literally nobody would care if you didn't post this in the jack harlow hashtag. Which I also don't understand btw like I am sure there is a hastag that fits whatever it is that you're posting just find it. It's not that hard. And why a grown ass woman, with children and a family is feuding with strangers online? you must not have anything better to do, go check your patients or something

Babe, do yourself a favor and go back to whatever corner of Tumblr you came from.

Problematic again? So because an anon wants to send messages about me and @heavyhitterheaux to people then that means we are a problem? Obviously you need a dictionary. Do you want me to get you one?

I’m confused…what in the hell does Tori have to do with that anon sent to multiple people I’m friends with?

Like can you not read anon? Do you need someone to break it down so you understand?

Ummm…let me see if I can:

Anon sent messages.

Anon sent rude messages because they don’t like me or Ree.

Anon decided to mention my child

Anon mentions our careers.

Anon said to those that got the message that they need to be friends with other people.

Alright I think that covers it darling. So tell me where I amthe problem, Ree is the problem, and where the hell Tori comes into this at?

Oh I don’t have patients to check. Im off 😁. I only work weekends to be off for my son (niece and nephew) and mom during the week. I’ve reached the point where I can do that.

So instead of being concerned with me, go to school or go get a job where you can enjoy life too 😘

I will not make another post about that anon and their pathetic attempt to create drama. If you have something to say, be an adult, say it off anon or in a message.

[o-wyrmlight]

Anons on this site have such brainworms "this real life person expressed an opinion and analysis over something i dont like so im going to go into their inbox and tell them to kill themself, i am so smart and stand for justice"

Grow the fuck up, get off the internet, and realise that your little bubble is actively making you a worse person. Not you Bill, you are delightful <3

Fun fact: The word 'gay' used to mean 'happy or carefree' for centuries before it became re-adopted to refer to homosexual men, and even then, it became a slur.

Nowadays, gay is a reclaimed phrase that now references anyone under the homosexual and homoromantic umbrella. I'd bring it up as being the same pretense as lesbian, but with the whole crimew debacle, it's not what people are focusing on. And like I said--nowadays 'gay' is used as a broader term, even though it's still more associated with men than not.

Words change and shift in definition over time, like it or not. No one definition of a word is ever going to be universal--there are always going to be people who have a different interpretation of the word than you do. The word 'gay' once meant (and still does mean, though not nearly as frequently as it did before) cheerful and jovial. Then it became a slur of hate before being reclaimed by the community it was being used on. Now its definition has broadened, even if the very general definition still speaks by and large to men liking other men.

There's a lot more to it than that, but yeah. While I definitely don't know absolutely everything about LGBT+ history (a lot of the time, I get a bit stressed out about how people in the past were treated), it is something that I will do more research in.

The point is, you can't control how other people identify themselves and how their words are used. All that it does is make it more difficult for people to find words to identify how they identify and makes them much less likely to even try.

Even if you don't understand why they use something like 'bi lesbian', it isn't your role to come up with a narrative about what that person is trying to imply. And it isn't a good mindset to automatically assume that your perspective is more 'right' than them. All that it does is is exacerbate the whole 'us vs. them' mentality, which is terrible because all parties involved are in the same community.

Regardless of your opinion in the matter, your perspective does not deserve demeaning the life and existence of someone else just because they use a word a little bit differently than you. I understand that lesbian is a term that was specifically catered to exclude men, but calling yourself a lesbian does still carry its meaning in strongly implying that you at the very least prefer women over men.

Besides. The people who aren't going to respect lesbians aren't going to care whether people call themselves bi lesbians or not. It's not going to change their mindsets over whether or not they 'deserve' a particular woman, because there will always be people who think that they can 'change the mind' of a self-identifying lesbian, even if she's both homoromantic and homosexual. People are entitled like that. But there are also always going to be people who respect those preferences, as well, because--here's an important thing to remember--not all men are evil and out to get you.

I could go on about this so much more, but frankly, I'm just writing down my thoughts as they come, and if I continue, I'll be here all night. So. Yeah.

I have a lot of thoughts in my mind about this and other tangential issues, but I don't want to ramble on for too long.

I'm going to leave this off by saying that going up to other people, telling them to kill themself, and saying you hope they die in a fiery plane crash will never be helpful to anyone, and it doesn't prove you're right.

[lateonthereylotrain]

le-sam

LMAOOOO WHAT. That last reblog(?) was entrenched in the most juvenile whataboutistic rhetoric I have ever seen. To the point where the whole response could be summarised as "well what if I could pretend it's not as you say?" ROFFLLLL

Autore originario

smokestarrules

@le-sam my personal fav part is the 'don't try to control people' like sorry i said that some people need to care more about women and you took that as an insult to you specifically. telling on yourself a little bit there

cluuny

@yxamilover420 the issue isn't "people writing about men" it's "people ignoring women when talking about media"

Autore originario

smokestarrules

@yxamilover420 op here: keywords are “lack of women”. It’s not that people are writing about men, it’s that people are writing about men 90x more

Autore originario

smokestarrules

@yxamilover420 it doesn’t really matter what’s being written; it’s the fact that out of the top 100 ao3 ships, there are very few that involve any women at all, especially f/f ships. It’s not inherently misogynistic to write more about men, but women’s lack of existence in fandom proves that there are many people who don’t consider them interesting characters at all, which /is/ misogynistic.

Autore originario

smokestarrules

@yxamilover420 it's very funny that you literally just regurgitated the talking point I joked about in the post. yes every woman character is more boring than any man character youre so right actually

mationstw

i think it sheds more on how most media use 90% men. the female characters are so often used just as a fan service slave, or barely even important to the plot. Us fic writers dont *have* women to write about. I love writing about women and I love having female characters but theres so FEW in any media that arent just...a fucking accessory to the male main character that its hard to write about them because of their lack of...everything. We need to get more female charact

mationstw

@mationstw i just really with i had women to write about. we need to get media producers to be run by more women and actually have them pass the Bechdel test >:(

mationstw

and i saw your comment OP about how some people just assume "shes a woman. shes boring", and I do not wish to regurgitate that. I mean to state that a lot of female characters, because of their writers that dont bother, arent fleshed out enough. theyre not given the light of day and we need to FIX that. we need to flesh out our female characters more and actually give them a personality rather than just pleasing proportions

vohalika

Lmao "what if the ratio on ff.net is different???" Have you been around fanfiction, it is WORSE. And even more Harry Potter ships would be winning.

Autore originario

smokestarrules

@mationstw no yeah you 100% are correct as well and professional writers are also a huge part of the problem, just not at all the Only problem. im so glad some people can understand the concept of nuance

samusaransimp

@mationstw there's a ton of media with good female characters the fact that you don't engage with any of it is a choice that you are actively making

knife-red

ppl are also ignoring that even in series with like. majority female casts w well written female characters m/m will still have more content like we gotta be real here 🧍

mationstw

@samusaransimp Im sure thats true, but that highlights that,,you need to actively search for good female characters. theyre not a given, which is the problem. I shouldnt need to go 100% out of my way to find a good female character, they SHOULD be in most content. its bad that theyre not. its bad that theyre not just, a given, like male characters are

mationstw

@samusaransimp and also im not *avoiding* female characters and content. it needs to get more traction and be the norm. i dont see a woman and go "ew", i AM a woman, at least at birth. i live through the struggles. i understand the anger and annoyance of living in this male dominated world.

neosaneo

Idk dude MLPs top ships were all f/f... Maybe the problem is what people use fanfiction for?

neosaneo

but I think your point is actually stronger than you give it credit for. A large portion of these "m/m" fanfiction are written really.. girly? Like they talk about their feelings and go to the spa and flirt passively with little commentary on toxic masculinity that's present when people are actively writing these as Subversions.

neosaneo

like if you can turn a male character in a patriarchal society dealing with the fallout of those ideologies like Miguel atsv as a "sweetheart wiremom that only means the best actually" but can't find similar depth in Doc Oc but Female . . . and go out of your way to write genderbent fiction of male characters rather than the chippette equivalent already present in the story... Maybe you need to unpack this "girls = boring" thing in your head

evenstarfalls

@mationstw I agree female characters tend to not be written well or at all however the top 100 had multiple harry potter ships about characters that barely even existed so like. clearly that's not a barrier for some people.

every year the ao3 stats come out and every year people insist that the lack of women isn’t misogyny but because ‘most fic writers are female and therefore enjoy writing about men more’ and every year they don’t seem to understand that they themselves have just described a version of misogyny

[horrorknife]

here it is yall. the famed mary and james tumblr essay that i keep talking about doing

i’m gonna break this up into chunks because it’s just. easier for me to think that way. also wrote this in one sitting so im really sorry if some of it is grammatically horrific or phrased weirdly lol

part 1: james and misogyny

so first off, yes, james’ misogyny is prevalent and actually a bit of a theme throughout the game--this mostly manifests as his struggle with his sexual frustration (as the meme goes). it’s so potent that people who don’t even know anything about silent hill know that a theme of sh2 is sexual frustration.

looking at the bubble head nurses and mannequins, we can see that james’ sexual frustration may have led him to fantasize about the nurses tending to mary. the mannequins are just two sets of legs put together at the hips, which suggests that james sees women only as sex objects. whether or not he was always like this is uncertain, though i believe these thoughts were always present in the back of his mind since...i mean he’s living life as a white man somewhere between the 70′s and 80′s.

more misogyny springs up with maria’s appearance. maria looks facially identical to mary, but she’s got a less conservative hairstyle and shows much more skin, complete with a tattoo on the exposed skin of her stomach. i find maria’s sexualization to be the most in-your-face of all of these examples, simply because her colors are so loud compared to literally everything else in the game--it really gives you the feel that, before all else, james wants to have sex with his wife. this idealized version of her that silent hill provides to him is what he wants from mary. we don’t know much about their marriage prior to the game’s events or mary’s sickness, but it’s possible that she was once a lot more sexually present. i believe this to be true simply based on the fact that their relationship is described as being “very intense” in the first few years before plateauing into a normal, homey love.

part 2: did james really love mary?

of course james loved mary! everything that happens in the game suggests that james loves his wife more than anything. i don’t believe that their relationship was ever onesided or abusive prior to mary’s sickness, and even then, i strongly hesitate to use the word “abusive” in reference to their relationship at any point.

anyway--james’ devotion to mary is the driving force of the game. as far as we know until the end, james got a letter from mary, who has been “dead for 3 years”. when angela tells him that the town is dangerous, james’ response is that he doesn’t really care that it’s dangerous. from what the player knows, james has fallen into a depression so deep that he is passively suicidal and without hope for pretty much anything. the mere possibility of seeing his dead wife is all the excuse he needs to thrust himself into the pits of hell, because that would make any suffering at all worth it.

i would say that, in my personal opinion, the most damning evidence to prove that james loves mary is the fact that he was so distraught by what he did to her that he became delusional to the point of driving back to their beloved vacation spot in the hopes that he would see her again. he has her body in the back seat of his car and is so horrified by what he’s done that he forces himself to forget.

part 3: if james loved mary, why would he kill her?

okay. now we’re getting into the meat of this. i’ve seen people argue that james couldn’t possibly have loved mary because he killed her. this take is problematic because it completely disregards all of the onscreen evidence that suggests the complete opposite. is james a horrible person for murdering his wife? YES! is that what you are supposed to understand about him? YES! silent hill, and pyramid head in specific, is literally punishing him for his sins. pyramid head is a product of his own desire to be punished for his actions, which he realizes at the end of the game.

so, why does james kill mary? let’s dissect the complete situation first.

part 3 part 1: mary’s sickness

silent hill 2 does something very effective (at least in my opinion) by putting you in the shoes of someone who is watching a loved one die in real time from a terminal illness. despite james’ unforgivable actions, the player gets a very close and personal look at what he was going through while watching his wife wither away. james indicates to us that he did as much research as he possibly could about what could possibly be wrong with mary, to no avail.

it’s implied that james stopped visiting as frequently and instead turned to drinking. we’re allowed to overhear mary’s end of a conversation from when he visits, bringing her a bouquet of flowers. mary, at this point, is convinced that she is ugly and unlovable, and above all else, is suffering through a disease that is killing her. she’s frustrated and upset, shouting at james to leave, get out of here, don’t look at her, etc. i’ve seen people reference this as abusive behavior, which, like i said before, is something i hesitate to call it. this is typical behavior from someone who is dying. it doesn’t justify her treating him poorly, but i don’t think james is mary’s victim at all. i don’t think james sees it that way, either--he knows she’s suffering. directly after this, we hear mary break down and apologize. she tells james that she wants to die, for her pain to end, etc, and then quickly takes it back, because as any sick person would be, she is having a very complicated relationship with her mortality.

part 3 part 2: mary’s death

james kills mary when she is allowed to come live at home for a few days because she is clearly nearing the end of her life. james kills her via suffocation with a pillow, directly after kissing her on the forehead. at the end of the game, when james is speaking with mary, he first says that he killed her because he wanted her to be free of her illness, and then backtracks and says that, no, it’s because he despised her and wanted his life back. mary (who is not actually mary, remember, but james’ projection of her) responds by saying something along the lines of, “if that’s true, then why are you so sad?”

since we understand that this is not james and mary conversing, we know that this is an internal conflict that james is resolving by talking it out with his approximation of mary. james’ resentment for mary is not deep; it’s quite common for these feelings to arise in people who have to watch their significant other die when they can do nothing about it. i don’t read this as resentment specifically for mary, rather a frustration with the entire situation that ends up seeing its fruition in the only place it possibly can: the person causing the pain. he can’t be angry at something intangible, so he ends up feeling angry with mary.

this is as true as it is that he also wanted mary to be relieved of her suffering. james did not have one singular reason for murdering mary--he had justified it to himself as both of them getting relief. in the end, this clearly wasn’t what he wanted, but it does speak volumes to his desperation that he actually went through with it. i don’t believe that he thought this would solve anything; i don’t think it was even premeditated. it’s presented to the player that he just wanted both of them to stop going through what they were going through.

james’ instant horror at his own actions (the ultimate betrayal of his wife, the murder of another human being, and the intrinsic selfishness of the act) speaks volumes to me from a character standpoint. i’m not sure how people are able to miss this, but then again, *gestures to the silent hill fanbase*

btw, i wasn’t sure where to fit this in, but mary’s up and downs are clearly reflected in maria, based on how her attitude fluctuates so intensely with james.

anyway: james’ love for mary is ultimately what ended up killing her, because it became unsustainable the worse her situation got. i think it’s worth pointing out that despite everything, james never cheated on her (as far as we are told--though i think if he had done this, it would have been seen or mentioned in the game). also, please don’t come away from this with the idea that i’m defending james, because i’m not--i just think that he actually has a lot of depth and he gets very one-dimensionalized by fans! james isn’t innocent, he’s a horrible person who let his love warp him into a toxic, angry person. this can coexist with the fact that he loved his wife beyond all measure!!!!

i’m not super sure on how to wrap this up but this is...most of my thoughts on their relationship. it’s skewed towards james just because we don’t have too much of an idea of what mary was like but i will defend her with my life because this woman was not abusive, she was fucking dying and lonely. honestly i could say a lot about her, laura, and james as a group but i feel like that’s probably suitable for another post sometime. :-)

[daenerystemper]

"So, are the smallfolk sexist too just because they rioted under Rhaenyra's rule, since you claim things were essentially the same under Aegon?" im gonna be so honest i never said anything about that but it's nice to know that you have to scramble for points occasionally. the smallfolk do not care about who is sitting on the throne which is why their opinions on the matter sway with the wind. were the positions somehow swapped & rhaenyra emptied the treasury before aegon ascended the throne, they would have rioted regardless of gender. i'm sure that's a hard concept for you to understand.

"For once, we can all agree it’s not the Greens' who supposedly brainwashed Westeros into patriarchy (as the other poster claims) by contesting Rhaenyra's rule. The Targaryens themselves set precedents that worked against her." this is also not what i said <3 i said by employing misogynistic tactics to keep rhaenyra from the throne, like letting her father rot for a week & keeping this news from her so that they could ensure aegon sat the throne, this further setback the rights for women. i'm not sure what precedents you're talking about with the targaryens when the great council all but proved that whoever the king says is heir is heir in times of unease & viserys was steadfast in holding up rhaenyra's position as heir to the iron throne so much so that not even alicent attempting to convince him to marry her to aegon could sway his opinion (which wasn't her being nice btw it was just another way to try to get hightower blood on the throne.)

"Honestly, this entire discussion is making a stronger case for Rhaenys and Visenya as champions of full equality in power, rather than Rhaenyra." im going to hold both your hands when i say that but that's literally the point of the dance. rhaenys & visenya were women who were unobstructed by the faith of the seven at the time & still held fiercely to their valyrian traditions. my entire point is that by subscribing to the teachings of the faith of the seven, reinforced by alysanne & jaehaerys, weakened the power that targaryen women held which is become increasingly evident post-aegon iii's rule with the likes of naerys, rhaella, daenerys. im not sure why this is a hard concept for you to understand. the faith of the seven is an oppressive religion when it comes to the rights of women.

"In a system rigidly set up in a certain way, anyone challenging the status quo had to conquer their rights like those before them did. That's how medieval societies work, especially since there's a thing called "right of conquest" that tramples even usurpation." i'm not sure why you think you have to explain the right of conquest to me like i'm the one who has issues reading asoiaf text, but i feel like this is another case of "rhaenyra wouldn't have to conquer her throne if it hadn't been usurped from her." god, you're like talking to a wall LOL.

"She seemed to believe that power would simply be handed to her on a silver platter when Viserys died despite the amount of scandals that had already weakened her, despite having three brothers who could easily challenge her claim because her dad didn't bother to at least make things easier for her officially issuing another ceremony after his sons were born, creating instead more loopholes" because....it should have been handed to her on a silver platter.... & the only reason it wasn't was because the green party left her father to rot & decompose in bed for a week while planning to usurp her..... her father proclaimed for years post the original ceremony that rhaenyra was his heir & that the iron throne was hers. this opinion didn't change even after he had three sons, because the word of the king is law. having another ceremony to reinforce this wouldn't have changed the fact that the greens were going to let his body rot while they usurped her. i mean, cersei even proves during a game of thrones that precedent hardly matters so long as you have the support of people surrounding her which is why robert's will is torn up & discarded. if people want to usurp the throne, they will & no amount of the king repeatedly issuing his commands is enough to make them stop. sure, rhaenyra's greatest crime was not being there while he father passed but i don't think that takes away from the green party being shit. obviously i am well aware their rights aren't protected "by a piece of paper."

also, lol. not the scandals, oh no!!! the implication that rhaenyra's children are bastards are propped up by alicent & the green party alone. & before you point to their hair color, i just want it to be known that rodrick arryn had brown hair, rhaenys had brown hair & even if rhaenyra had managed to have children with her gay husband, it's very likely that the greens would have found another way to imply that her children are bastards. even circling back AGAIN to the original draft shows that even if her kids had been trueborn, the greens would have usurped her anyway because she's a woman. the only other notable scandal is how quickly she got married after the death of laenor then i suppose we should call out viserys for marrying alicent at all since it was only ~a little under a year that he married her after aemma's death.

"Hence we return to my original post: Rhaenyra's general passivity, poor management during her rule and consequent loss of the war is equally responsible for setting a negative precedent and stronger barriers for women in power and contributed to a lack of sympathy in historical revision, even with her children eventually taking the throne." aegon iii was attempting to be conciliatory, the same reason jaehaerys didn't strike maegor for the list of kings. his rule is overshadowed by his heavy trauma after witnessing the death of most of his siblings & the death of his mother. it would have reignited the previous conflict, especially after jaehaera's murder. the greens won ideologically, which is exactly why there were no other female heirs after rhaenyra until daenerys, who became viserys's heir after rhaegar's line was disinherited. (& she's written to be a stark contrast to rhaenyra anyway by being a politically adept ruler who doesn't sway to cruelty & acclimates into whatever culture she's surrounded by, out of respect.) this is based off a very real historical event: queen elizabeth i didn't clear her mother's name once she ascended the throne because it was politically sensitive. the point was for aegon iii to bring the realm together & secure his claim to the throne, the same way that henry ii claimed the throne through king stephan & not his mother, the empress mathilda. rhaenyra isn't equally responsible for being a victim of misogyny & smear campaigns lol.

Something team black does not seem to compute is the total lack of revisionism post Dance in Rhaenyra's favour, especially since they claim she "won" because she was the one with surviving children and the green faction poisoning Aegon. That alone makes Rhaenyra look even worse because at this point there are all the elements to make Aegon the usurper and legitimising instead those 6 months of Rhaenyra's rule. Stannis' quote from ASOS sums this up. Rhaenyra was the daughter of a king and mother to two more. But she is still remembered as a traitor and nobody contested that, not even her children after taking the throne (as Aegon's cousins through Daemon). The history books list him as Aegon II, the following successions invalidate Rhaenyra even more by pushing all women behind not just their brothers but even their uncles, cousins, nephews etc... No other woman has ever been named after her. Whoever still claims it's just fire and blood being green propaganda by some biased maester is just being delusional. There are historical facts that prove Rhaenyra's claim being belittled by the Targ clan themselves.

[dancingintheraindreamingonday]

You will always be the winter soldier - Chapter 5

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4

Author’s Note: 

This is a flashback of your past with Bucky. Somethings weren’t witnessed by Bucky or you because I just want to give more details about the thoughts of other people as well. So this is definitely written in a third person perspective. This chapter is really long but I hope you’ll enjoy it anyway. 

Bucky sits in a plane to Munich. Sam got information that the leader of the Flag smashers are currently working there. 

Bucky remembers the last time he was in Germany. It feels like an eternity ago.

„Tell me why I need to watch this series again.“, Bucky looked absolutely annoyed. 

„Its a classic. Everyone knows this series. It’s like general knowledge.“ You answered while scribbling something on your paper. 

„ And why aren't you watching this series?“ 

„Well my love, I know this series by my heart.“, you smiled at him and then saying the exact same thing the actor said on the screen proving him that you really do know this series.

Minutes later you closed your math book with a loud thump and throwing it on the ground. 

"I'm sorry. I don't want to torture you with this series. Maybe I can make it up to you." You winked at Bucky and kissed him on his right cheek. 

„Probably you will find a way.“, Bucky smiled mischievously and kissed you right on your lips with both of his hands on your cheeks. 

You and Bucky weren’t virgins but you both never had sex with each other yet. It made you nervous. 

And Bucky was nervous as well.The last time he had sex was an eternity ago and women changed through the times. Now women are so much more emancipated and strong-minded.

You kissed him. On his face, throat, neck and down his torso. You wanted him as much as he wanted you. 

In this night you and Bucky didn’t have just sex- you made love that night. It was something absolutely soft, and warm and caring about it. 

There was no much of talking and there was no pressure- it was just pure love without saying the word itself. 

Everything changed from that night on. From that day on you both were a couple, without labeling it.

Two weeks later Bucky accompanied you to university. It was something he did regularly and you enjoyed it. It gave your the feeling he was just a normal guy spending time with his girlfriend. And James from Bucharest was  indeed almost a normal guy. While you were bubbling about a math problem no one except math students could understand, he noticed a man.

Bucky knew when he was being followed and it agitated him. 

Now that he wasn’t just concerned with his life but also concerned with your safety it made him anxious. 

He grabbed your right arm and pulled you in a small alley.

You looked at him confused and scared. „What’s going on?“, you asked not understanding his sudden behavior. 

„I wanted to give this to you.“ Bucky pulled out a small mobile phone from his pocket. You looked confused because you already had a smartphone in your trouser pocket. 

„It’s a safe line. So, if you’re in danger or you just think you’re in danger- call me and I will come and get you.“

„You’re scarring me. Are you in trouble? Are WE in trouble? Do we need to run?“ You looked at him, touching his face to make sure he calmed down.

„No. Don’t worry. Everything’s alright.“ Bucky lied. „I’m just taking precautions.“

You doubted this reassurance.

„I can ditch university. I can come with you.“

„No. It calms me down to know that you’re safe at university.“ 

„Okay. But don’t forget: If you jump, I jump, remember?“ You quoted the movie you both watched last night. 

„You’re stuck with me. Where you go, I go.“

He kissed the palm of your left hand. „I’m not going anywhere.“, Bucky lied again. 

And with that he accompanied  you to university. As he left, you walked into your class and you took out your phone and your homework. You checked the latest news. The day before there was a bombing in Vienna but on this day there were breaking that there’s a picture of a suspect. The picture showed no other than Bucky himself. Your heart stopped for a moment and you couldn’t think clearly. This explained his behavior and fear. You knew he was innocent- no doubt about that. You knew the man you fell in love with and James would never do such thing. The only conclusion was that he was being fraud by someone else. You decided to skip the class and go home to find James. 

When you arrived outside, the campus was quite empty because the majority of the students were already in their classes. As you walked to the gate a man was calling you.

„Hey! Wait!“ He jogged to you. 

„You’re working with Bucky, aren’t you? You’re his accomplice.“ The man in front of you assumed. 

„None of your business.“, you muttered. You wanted to pass him but he stopped you by grabbing your shoulder. 

„My name’s Sam Wilson and you really need to come with me.“, he said, scarring you with his words.

His grip was so tight that you couldn’t break free.

„Im not coming with you. Who do you think you are?“

„I’m working with Captain America.“ He said. You could hear the pride in his voice.

„So? That doesn’t make you an authority. I don’t trust you.“

„You saw the picture, didn’t you? You saw the picture of him in the newspaper. You don’t strike me as a dumb person, yeah? You know what this picture means. They are after him. They are already here. So I need your help.“

„Why do you need my help? He’s innocent. That picture is fake and I know it. But do you? Do you believe in his innocence or what aim do you really pursue?“

Sam didn’t answer but he also didn’t let go of you. So the only thing that you could do was to kick him between his legs. But your head start wasn’t for long. You can’t outrun an athlete. He caught you with his hand which made you stumbled and you fell face forward on the ground. Your lip was bleeding. 

„Im sorry. I didn’t intend to hurt you.“

As you looked around you saw police officers pointing their guns at you and Sam. 

„You called the police?!“ You asked unbelievably.

„Ey. They’re pointing their guns at me too. So no- I didn’t call the police.“ 

They handcuffed you both and took off. Sam talked with someone via earpiece: „I’ve got her but the police got us both. I’m sorry.“

At the same time, Bucky, Steve and King T’Challa were also handcuffed. Steve looked at his childhood friend and shared the information Sam just gave him: „I’m sorry, but they’ve got her.“ 

To say that Bucky was furious was an understatement: He would burn down the whole city if they’d hurt her. 

When you arrived at the office in Berlin you couldn’t stop all the questions that were floating in your mind. „Why are we here? Since when is Germany responsible for crimes that happened in Vienna or Bucharest? Why were German police officers in Romania? What the heck is going on?“ You asked but everyone was ignoring you. 

Minutes later a man entered the room and you realized that this was Tony Stark. „Who is that?“ He asked, pointing his finger at you. You didn’t bother to answer him. You just turned your head away. „Alright. Kinda mean but we will get the answers anyway.“ He sat down next to Steve. „Is the thing you have with him even legal?“, he asked you again.

„You tell me. He was born in 1917. I was born 80 years later.“

Tony scrunched up his nose. 

The screen was turned on and you saw James. „Why is he in a cage? Why is there no lawyer? Is this how Germany practices its law now? Did you tell him his right to silence?“ You asked almost aggressively 

„You’re audacious and naive.“, said a man in a suit. 

„Stop insulting me. James is as innocence as I am. He wasn’t in Vienna and I told you that from the beginning. And no one in this damn room is listening. You’re just looking for a guy to take the blame. I don’t know how America treats their suspects but here in Germany they have human rights as well. They have dignity and they are still treated with respect and decency. All people have rights. We learned that 70 years ago and we will never ever forget it, understand?“, you spatted. „You imprisoned and treat him as if he’s a monster.“

„My dear child, do you know what he just did today in Bucharest? The damage he caused?“, the man screamed. 

„But it were you with the loaded guns, right?“

„He’s not just a suspect. He’s the delinquent.“

„In some countries there is a trial for this question to be answered, but you seemed to be hangman and judge in once.“ You provoked him. This was so unlike you that you really couldn’t understand the anger that was inside you. 

„I like her.“ Tony said. „She’s loyal like a golden retriever.“

„Stop insulting me even more. I’m defending the man I love that doesn’t mean I’m a puppy wagging its tail.“ 

Before anyone could say anymore to worsen the situation the power was gone for merely seconds but the power was back, Bucky disappeared from the video. Everyone in the room turned around and looked at you. 

„How are you going to explain this.“ Tony asked you 

„Kid, you stay here. Don’t even think about leaving this room.“ As Tony walked downstairs he asked himself if you’re related to a woman he met over 20 years ago who happens to have the same last surname like you did. No, unlikely. Almost impossible. 

Bucky, in his winter soldier mode only had one aim: to kill as many people as possible. But something was off. He hasn’t been the winter soldier for quite some time and the impact you had. The thought that you were hurt made him even more lethal. His priority was to find you and made sure you were okay. So everyone who fought him was a threat, an enemy.

It ended in a cafeteria where Bucky held a gun to the head of a seemingly important man. Bucky was circled with dozen of agents, all pointing a gun at him. 

„Where is she? Where is (y/f/n)?“ Bucky asked

„She’s okay. You don’t need to worry about her.“, Steve assured Bucky

„I don’t trust you. I need to see her.“ 

„We can bring her here. So you can see it for yourself.“ Steve suggested while Bucky just nodded. 

Steve and Tony ran upstairs and Tony grasped Steve by his arm. „What the fuck do you think you’re doing? You can’t bring her downstairs to him. He’s dangerous and she’s just a kid. You can’t control him.“

„He isn’t dangerous and I don’t think he would hurt her. After all they are something like a couple. She knows him. And we will be there as well. Trust me, Tony. Nothing will happen.“

So they both accompanied you downstairs. 

You’ve got nervous, shaking uncontrollably. „You don’t have to do this.“ Tony said. 

„And I’m really sorry that I compared you with a golden retriever. I just think that loyalty is a great character trait.“

You smiled at him. „It’s alright. I’m sorry too. For being so angry and impulsive and arrogant.“

„Are you scared?“ Tony asks. „No, I’m not. I trust him. I trust the man I love. He isn’t the winter soldier anymore. And that he remembers me in this moment- that’s a good sign, isn’t it? So I had a little impact on him.“

Steve opened the door. You felt all the eyes of the agents on you. Thats really made you uncomfortable but you tried to ignore and only concentrate on James. You tried to relax. Your hands where cold as ice- something that always happens when you get nervous. You walked towards him. „You need to let go of this man, James.“, you pointed with your eyes at the man. „I’m alright. I’m safe.“ You approached him. „You really need to let go of him.“ Your voice was firmer. „The agents here are scared of you. They see you as a threat. So I’m begging you: let go of him.“ 

And Bucky let go of him. „They hurt you.“ He stated looking at your bruised lips. „No, they didn’t. I stumbled.“ You reassured him. „James, you need to put down the gun as well. The avengers aren’t the enemy. We can trust them. I do. I trust them and I think we might need their help.“ And you kissed him. Right in front of anyone. You heard the thump of the gun greeting the ground as James let go of it. 

You broke the kiss and caressed his cheek. But before Bucky could say anything you looked to your right and something you saw made you so scared. You pushed Bucky with all the strength you’ve got, making him stumble a few steps backwards. But that was enough to take his spot. 

Bucky saw the redness on your shirt before he heard the bang of the gun. Steve and Tony screamed „NO!“, but it was already too late. You looked at it and all the color of your face vanished. You started to fall but Bucky caught you, laying you softly on the ground. Soon you lost you consciousness.

Steve used the chaos to get Bucky out of there. „They will help her. But you need to come. It’s not safe for you here.“ 

During that time agent Sharon Carter kept Steve and Bucky informed but Bucky had a really hard time. „She’s still sleeping. You are not missing anything.“ She assured him. 

When you woke up you were greeted by non other than Tony Stark itself. He read a German magazine. „Do you understand what you’re reading or are you just looking at the pictures?“ 

He looked up and grinned. „Really nice pictures. But I also get help with the translating.“ He pointed to his high technology-glasses. 

„How do you feel?“

„Exhausted but okay.“ 

You looked around and you saw James standing in the door frame. „James“ you whispered, reaching out for him. „I’m so relieved that you’re fine.“ Bucky looked at Tony who faintly shook his head indicating that you were still oblivious about the fight in Leipzig and the separation of the avengers. 

„What happened after I passed out?“, you asked

„You mean after you got shot.“, Tony corrected you. 

„Why did you pack?“, you ask James, forgetting the last question you just asked. 

„I’m leaving for Wakanda. They offered me to free me from the mind control and I’m gonna take that chance.“

„Take me with you. I want to be with you. I can’t imagine a life without you. Please, James.“ 

He looked you deep in your eyes. You could see how he’s debating on the inside. „Okay.“ And he kissed you passionately. 

Tony didn’t like that idea at all. „Okay, lovebirds. We better should look for a doctor to sign the release papers and you can rest a bit more.“ He ushered Bucky out of your room and when the door closed he let go of his facade.

„You can’t take her with you. Thats really selfish of you. She’s kid. She can’t throw away her life for you. She is not your psychologist. You know exactly what you are. You’re a murderer. Nothing will ever change that. You’re destroying her life. And you don’t care because after all you will always be the winter soldier. Nothing will change that.“

Bucky looked at Tony like he just got slapped. „I know who and what I am. I will never be good enough for her. Yeah, maybe I’m selfish taking her with me but I can’t imagine a life without her. I love her and I will protect her. I promise.“

„But can you protect her from yourself?“ 

As you packed your belongings James waited outside your room. „You don’t have to go with him. You don’t need to throw your life away. You don’t owe him anything.“, Tony stated. 

„I’m not throwing anything away. He’s my future. He’s anything I’ve ever wanted. Wakanda will be an adventure and I’m ready to take it.“

Tony suppressed all the things he wanted to tell you. He hugs you and said instead. „If he hurts you in anyway, call me. I’ll come and get you.“ He caress your hair and without noticing he took a single hair of you. He needed to know who you were to him. He couldn’t ignore his curiosity anymore. 

Chapter 6

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[rorykillmore]

what is it with writers/showrunners somehow completely misunderstanding what their own shows are about and just. COMPLETELY fumbling the ball in the endzone out of nowhere for no reason?

it's entirely not the same situation because villanelle and eve being queer women carries with it a whole other dimension to what was done to them in ke, but rob thomas pulled the exact same shit with the fourth season of veronica mars, destroying everything that meant anything about what the show existed for, about the reasons fans loved it, up to and including blowing up the character w the history of abuse and torment who'd clawed his way to some measure of happiness in the final minutes of the last episode. hell, the 100 somehow managed to go from being a show all about survival and HOPE in the face of darkness into a show where the entire human race is doomed to go extinct and any 'happiness' is hollow at best. like it's just... idk how people can spend years working on these stories and then get to the final hours and just... not understand ANYTHING about what had gone before, about why audiences were invested in these characters, about what would be a satisfying and cathartic ending after all they'd been through???

anyway im so sorry and also sorry for wordvomitting in your askbox i just keep looking back at your posts and had Thoughts. but the fandom deserved better and so did villanelle and so did eve and im mad DDD<

ily kitty <3 no need to apologize, tbh the solidarity is appreciated!!!

i feel like a lot of it stems from this idea that tragic endings are somehow more groundbreaking or unpredictable than happy ones, which is -- frankly just oblivious on the part of any writer who believes that, because tragic endings are everywhere. they've become mundane. "villanelle sacrifices herself for eve to prove she's Changed" is literally a prediction people were making by the end of season 3 (so two years ago, now) (and by the way, that was a concept i kind of liked, but you've already seen me talk about all the reasons i feel that what we got was insulting).

to touch on your point about writers being so completely out of touch with the core of their show, i do not understand it. it's not to say that writers are beholden to cater to their fans' whims, but like!!! surely they have to have some awareness of when a story choice would be deeply dissatisfying to virtually everyone? but your examples are all the more reminder that it happens enough to be baffling. idk man. as a prospective television screenwriter i wouldn't want to feel like i was writing only fanservice, but i also wouldn't want my work to feel almost universally pointless or dissatisfying, lol.