#there needs to be a reason for a behaviour to evolve. there are two other terms here (benefit and cost).

[exopelagic]

fuck Hamilton (bill) all the homies hate Hamilton (bill)

[fictionismyreality3]

I Can Fight (18+)

Simon Riley x Reader

Tags: Smut, boyfriend!simon riley, possessive!simon riley, 141!reader, kinda dark!simon riley, established relationship

Warnings: romance and everything that comes with it, slightly controlling behaviour, it’s kinda toxic but like also not, military stuff??, clubbing, drinking, violence, choking, slight impact play, SHAMELESS SMUT

Notes: the side eye he’s giving in this photo is diabolical 😮‍💨

There was something about watching you dancing around in the tight red dress Simon bought you that satisfied the primal, caveman part of his mind. Going to the club after a long mission had begun to become a routine for the squad, and Simon never had a reason to attend before.

Not until you.

He salivated as he sat at the bar, his eyes constantly trained on your figure as you moved and grinded against any random person near you. Every hand that someone laid on your hip made his jaw tick and his cock bulge in his jeans. It was a little game you liked to play with each other. Simon still remembered the first time you were in his bedroom standing in front of his mirror, two dresses in your hand.

“I don’t know, the blue one kinda shows my ass.” You hesitated. “Wear wha’ever the fuck you want, luv. I can fight. I’ll rip the cock off anyone who touches you.”

The initial protectiveness he felt quickly evolved into a feral need to keep you all to himself, and you were just as bad as him. It was hard to tell when the lines blurred, but soon you were going out of your way to make Simon jealous, and every night out ended with him beating the shit out of some random guy.

It was wrong. It was fucking sick, really. But, the look in Simon’s eye when he came back to loom over you and grab you by the throat made you want to let him fuck you right there in the club. And the sex you had when you got home was the hottest of your life.

And that’s how Simon found himself sitting on a barstool, his legs spread to accommodate the way his cock was straining against the fabric of his jeans. He could see your eyes darting to him as you rolled your ass back against a scrawny looking guy. He could see the way you ran a hand down the front of your body just to tease him. He’d let you have your fun for a while. Then he’d come over and punch the lights out of the fucker who was touching you.

God, you were such a pretty thing.The little red dress you were wearing was tight enough to be a second skin. The collar dipped down to reveal a frankly whorish about of cleavage, but he didn’t mind.

You were his good little slut.

But he’d had enough now. A low grumble went through his chest as his pushed himself off the bar, following you as you led the guy out of the club and to the alley behind it. Just like you’d discussed. He stood in the shadows, palming himself through his jeans as the man started to try and press himself into you. Simon cupped his cock, liking the burn of the fabric he got when he rutted into his hand.

But then the fucker tried to kiss you and he saw red.

Your little game was suddenly over, and Simon was ripping the guy off you with a snarl. Heat flooded into your pussy, and you were clenching your legs together as you leaned against the wall and waited for him to finish. The man’s desperate pleas slowly turned into panicked gurgling noises, he went limp on the pavement. Simon gave him one last shake and then he was coming over to you.

“Look at you. So fuckin’ pretty f’me.” He shuddered, running his nose from the dip of your chest to your jaw. “You like dressin’ up f’me, luv?”

Simon drew a breathy moan from your lips as he slid his fingers under the hem of your dress. “Like watchin’ me break who ever touches you?”

Your back hit the sheets, the scent of Simon engulfing you with a dizzying intensity. His hands tugged at the fabric of your dress, pulling the fabric apart so it ripped by the seams. Suddenly, your red dress was on the floor, the only sounds in the room were your whispered pleas and Simon’s grunts as he fumbled to pull his cock free of his jeans.

Running a thick finger through your folds, he collected the wetness and forced it into your mouth. “Just couldn’t keep y’self together in the car, huh?” Shaking your head dumbly, you sucked idly on his digit while he began to stroke himself. “Si, please give me your cock.” You moaned, the words muffled when he suddenly shoved another finger down your throat, the intrusion making you gag.

“Gonna be a good girl f’me. Gonna take my cock so well.”

You were such a pretty thing, already needy and messy from how he’d teased you in the car. It was impossible for Simon to stop himself from just shoving his cock inside you all at once. The thickness of him split you open, a hoarse cry ripping through your throat as you clutched at his shoulders. God, you were such a needy little girl.

Simon drew his hips back, lazily pounding his cock inside you again and again. “Tha’s it. Take me so well.” The tip of him brushed against your cervix and he silenced your mewling with a slap to the thigh. Rough and calloused fingers gripped the flesh, tugging your legs up so that they were over his shoulder. “Gonna pound this sweet lil’ cunt.” A darker and more twisted part of him relished in the way you begged for him to slow down.

“Fuckin’ scream f’me.” He growled in your ear, threading a hand through your hair so he could angle your neck to the side. The delicious burn of his teeth sinking into your skin had you clenching around him. “Oh f-fuck, luvie.” He gasped, his hips stuttering before he was slamming his cock inside you relentlessly.

“You’re mine.”

“Mine t’fuck. Mine t’love.” One hand reached between you, rubbing tight, fast circles on your clit. White-hot pleasure sent you jolting underneath him, squirming around and trying to get the overwhelming bliss to stop. “Stay fuckin’ still.” Simon growled, his hand wrapping around your throat.

Simon watched you go all dumb on his cock, your eyes rolling back in your head as you clawed at his hand. He only tightened his grip further, his cock so hard he felt like he might explode. The way you were tightening around him, the way your lips parted, every little sound you made sent him spiralling.

The sound of skin hitting skin filled your shared bedroom, Simon’s balls slapped against your ass with every thrust. “No one’s ever gonna touch you.” He rasped, his own movements getting sloppy.

“Gonna cum real hard f’me?” The only response you could give was frantic nodding and little squeaks with the way he was constricting your airflow. “Gonna- oh, fuck. Gonna make me proud?” Everything felt amplified, and Simon felt drunk, dizzy off the haze of your perfume. He buried his face in the crook of your neck, sucking greedily against your pulse point. “Give me tha’ pretty pussy.”

You could hear every tortured noise he made in your ear, and Simon could feel the way your cunt was fluttering around him. “C’mon, dovie, make me- christ, make me cum inside you.” Your nails raked down his back, leaving trails of desire in their wake. You couldn’t breathe, you could barely see, all that existed was Simon. And then he pinched at your clit and you were falling.

“Oh, atta’ girl.” He groaned. “Good girl, good girl.. gonna make me-” Hot, thick ropes of cum spilled inside you. Simon’s eyes rolled back into his head and he bit down on your neck, letting out a deep, raspy moan. Before you could catch your breath, two large hands wrapped around your waist, flipping you over on the bed. You head was pushed down into the pillow, Simon gripping at the flesh of your hip to tug your ass up into the air.

“You don’t think m’done with you yet, d’you, dove?”

[loveyourlovelysoul]

The fact that you fear not being enough, not being able to get what you want, not feeling able to get where you want, that you feel so insecure about yourself is probably not just related with your childhood but also with past friendships or any other type of relationship that didn't end well or in which you weren't treated correctly. You were probably left out from group activities and jokes or not invited to places; you were made to believe you were very important but at the same time you were kept hidden and later you were left alone and forgotten as something of not great value; you were probably easily judged as uninterested because of your decisions or behaviours without asking for further reasons...

I know all these experiences (and many more than these ofc) hit you deep and now are rooted inside of you as a confirmation of your unworthiness and unlovability but it was not your fault. Or at least not just because of your decisions or behaviour (of which not everyone has the empathy to understand or even guess/imagine the reasons, if you don't talk about it): in relationships there are always at least two people involved. And when one of them moves away or leaves you out of their life without asking for or giving an explanation, it's a relationship that is already crumbling (and it's best if it ended this way, even if it pains you because you felt guilty about it). When there's not communication nor interest in the other and in their feelings, despite how strong and indipendent they may look, despite how far they may have moved, a relationship is already ended.

It's not about your worth or lovability, which you possess just because you're alive. It's just about people's decisions, it's about lives taking different turns, it's about the fact that some relationships just need to end or evolve into something different that is not a deep friendship anymore (if you both agree ofc). It's about people growing and changing, and following their own path. Keep going on onto yours so to find new friends and even lovers if you want (cause you will anyway: life is made of cycles, as you had friends in the past, you'll have friends in the future; as you didn't have good friends in the past you will have good friends in the future. It's all about you, you can change your life at any given minute. Take your time to understand your emotions and process them but then let the past go, heal and move on to something new -and even better, seen how you were treated).

[canmom]

choosing the treasure that eats you

the gods in narrative podcast The Silt Verses cover an enormous variety of motifs and subjects - and indeed, we are told how new gods are invented all the time, researched and tested by the government, competing to be the patron of companies and individuals, broken down and dumped when they're no longer needed. but they are all unified by two things: they all demand human sacrifices ('a god must feed' as Carpenter puts it in the opening episode) and they all inflict dramatic body-horror transformations (a process known as 'hallowing'), associated with their theme.

nevertheless, the idea of not following a god seems to be pretty alien to the people of this world. and you don't really get much choice: if, as in episode 7, your advertising company's restructuring decides that the weakest performers need to be sacrificed to their new 'sponsor', you don't get to opt out, it's in your contract and no doubt the police will catch you if you run. we see over and over how the gods (and their chief devotees) pick out the vulnerable, drive their believers to spiral down into life-defining obsession - by stringing them along with vague promises of some kind of final answer or fulfilment, then turn away and discard them as soon as they've served their purpose.

it is a very, very productive theme, and the writers have a gift for furnishing it with evocative words and nasty details so it doesn't get stale. so of course I reflect on the metaphor.

in nier automata, the childlike machine lifeforms search for purpose in a world that doesn't seem to offer any. the answers they find are their 'treasures': small, seemingly insignificant objects which individual machines devote themselves to protecting.

for example, one machine may devote itself to cultivating a flower (as in the second episode of the anime), or looking after a broken doll (as in the story of pathetic failmachine Plato 1728 seen in the DLC/the Deserving of Life single by Amazarashi). other sidequests lead you to encounter machines who obsess over fighting, or travelling fast (easy challenges to implement in a game engine).

the machines' behaviour seems inexplicable and even random to others, but the pointlessness is kind of the point: somewhere the chain of 'why' has to terminate. i choose this one.

sometimes i think about 'art' in the sense of a set of behaviours exhibited by humans. i don't have any interest in demarcating art vs non-art, just to understand what this phenomenon is, why it should be so compelling.

one definition that keeps sticking around in here, despite it not really working, is that 'art' is a word for the thing we devote ourselves for no other reason. you could spend your time drawing, but equally you could spend it speed cubing. we are obsessively optimising creatures so, presented with a defined scope of an activity - something like the rules of a game - we refine our skills within it, pushing the bar further and further, changing the rules as we go to keep it interesting. the art forms that stick around tend to be the ones that continue to be productive and evolve. but it's all, in a sense, pointless - and that's why it's the most important thing, because it's done for itself, not in service of some other goal.

this is not actually a good description of the thing it claims to describe. many things we celebrate as 'art' are done for extrinsic, not intrinsic motivations, like commissioned paintings. indeed, far from being purely intrinsically motivated, there are many extrinsic functions that the various activities we call 'art' perform: communication, entertainment, distraction, a tool to reason with, a safe zone to explore emotions, ideological propaganda, historical memory.

nevertheless, the idea of a thing done for its own sake, defying justification, continues to compel somehow.

art does not escape the logic of sacrifice. if you sacrifice your time, your health, your social connections in pursuit of your art - why, does that not prove the art is more important than your time, your health, your friendships? there's a romance in the narrative about burning up in pursuit of something 'great' - and if you want to undercut that narrative, you likely claim that the object is not particularly worth the effort. it's just videogames. it's just cartoons.

the slogan of The Silt Verses is the sarcastic line of Carpenter (originally her friend Vaughan, part of episode 7's corporate hecatomb): "you get to choose the thing that eats you". a very succinct statement! don't we, indeed.

not that sacrifice is always for some abstract intrinsic goal. in the story, the feeding is often done in exchange for some straightforward, material advantage - and in a sense that is the same in our world, with the threshold adjusted so you have to sacrifice a certain amount to just stay alive.

here's a calculation, because i'm fond of numbers: if you start working full-time at, say, age 21 (a conservative assumption, most people start earlier) up until the UK retirement age of 66 (currently, set to rise), working 40 hours a week (conservative, but then again most people don't actually work the hours they're paid for), the current price of a full human life is 114,793 hours to the gods of capital - pick your fave. if you sleep eight hours a night, the god of sleep gets 160,710 during that same period. harder to fit parameters on the demands of the gods of food, cleaning, caring for others, travelling to and fro, and 'being too tired to do much of anything', which certainly have their own demands.

that leaves you with a certain number to use for your own arbitrary ends. in theory, you get to choose what will eat those ones. in practice? a unified will? consistent intentions? ya joking mate. how many hours go to the god of 'responding to the thing in front of me', known by its sacred name, Aydeeaitchdee?

i used to feel jealous of people, some of them my friends, who seem to have some kind of unique vision, some sort of captivating identity to the creations that they express. the 'spark' that makes that special. i wondered - still wonder - if i will finally find my spark, a reason i'm here, a unique contribution i'm poised to make to the world, the value over replacement - the thing that all this mess was building towards all along, the thing that will make all the efforts so far feel less faltering and haphazard. but why should there be such a thing? if one day i live long enough to, by chance, find something that feels like it's an answer, it's just a retroactive reframing of the chaos - because that's what brains do. convince someone they made a decision they didn't, and they will justify it to you.

there is a song by Sassafrass, an incredibly nerdy a capella band who otherwise largely sing about norse mythology, called 'somebody will'. when i first heard this song i honestly kind of hated it (you can probably find that post if you dig hard enough). it felt like a tragic cope: facing the blatant reality that you will never be an astronaut as you (apparently) desire, to insist on narrativising your life as being part of the great project space colonisation - even if it's so remote as clerking a funding organisation or working at a scifi bookstore or attending a convention (it's from quite a specific milieu), you can claim to be one of the 'sailors' helping to 'conquer' that 'ocean'. i hated it, because why should the space program be all that? somebody will walk on mars someday - so fucking what? what then? job's a good 'un, everybody? is that really worth sacrificing shit ('sacrifice something i don't have for something i won't have') for, here and now? surely your life is about more than putting 'somebody' on Mars one day?

but considering it again today - i mean it might as well be the space program as anything else, right. you need a direction to move in. it doesn't matter what the direction, as long as it keeps you moving. change is life and stillness is death, don't you know. perhaps you drag others along with you and you get a current flowing that way for a while, until the energy driving it runs out, or it runs up against the overpressure around an as-yet uneroded bank. so we all move around and the dynamics of it all, invisible to us, build a delta, which becomes a rock, and against that flows another river one day, grinding down the rock to move it to another delta, all by the nearly-random movements of the water molecules. shit i think i lost the thread of the metaphor and now i'm just talking about geophysics

it seems... almost laughably tedious to be circling this existential drain still. in my milieu: douglas adams cracked his joke about 'the ultimate question of life the universe and everything' 30 years earlier in 1977. randall munroe uploaded 'i'll get the super soaker' in 2007. but navel-gazing has been a joke for much longer, surely at least as long as there have been people to question what the point is.

funny how it always comes back to water metaphors.

[my-coven-is-claudia]

Louis and performance

something that always stuck out to me about louis’s behaviour in the first episode is how almost thrilled he seems to be doing this interview? he full on laughs at daniel’s “so mr du lac, how long have you been dead?” line and overall seems very put together and calculating.

it appears as if he’s fully prepared for this, only interested in giving an informative and educational account of his life. this interview is a heroic pursuit, acting as a warning to others about the harsh reality of vampire life.

but this is all a facade. this cool calm and collected louis slowly falls apart and is paralleled with 1910 louis’s overly violent and macho persona that also falls to the wayside as the series goes along. in both new orleans and present day dubai, louis is putting up a mask. although this time round he’s exchanged stereotypical masculinity for clinical rationality.

and news flash!! he has neither.

he’s trying to conceal the fact that this interview has come about from a distrust of his own memories and recollection of events. that there’s this much more distressing motivation for the interview of louis not even trusting himself to tell the truth and needing someone else to help him parse out what really happened. furthermore, there is also a personal undercurrent to louis’s intentions due to the second interview picking up from his and daniel’s first encounter. unsurprisingly, all of these reasons he neatly skirts around (until push comes to shove). louis meticulously illustrates this picture of his life in new orleans via vivid narration and metaphor, asking daniel (and the viewer) to “let the tale seduce [him].” as he does this he teeters along a tightrope, swinging between expressing his crazed and immense love for lestat and portraying himself as a reserved intellectual detached from his vampiric instincts.

from the very start it is a performance. no argument about it.

the louis of present day dubai is in such stark contrast to the louis of even the 70s. he’s lost so much joy and confidence. this is not the same man who spent hours chatting with lestat under the moon in new orleans, who cheekily danced with emilia in romania, who torched a whole theatre. and with how quickly louis admits to killing lestat in season two it’s interesting how carefully crafted and persistent his ruse of serenity in dubai is. as he’s grown more adept at concealing his secrets, he’s also evolved into this hollow husk of himself. for the past 70 odd years he’s been stuck in a tumultuous relationship, has not properly killed anyone since the year 2000 and tries to paint himself as a passive figure in the tragedy of his own life.

this goes to show that louis is very particular about how others view him and how he’s presented. consistently, louis is tugging back and forth with daniel over who he truly is, his true motivations, his true desires. this is most apparent in 2x04 when louis is horribly embarrassed by the work of other photographers somehow ending up in a pile of his old photos. although it’s currently unclear how they ended up there, i think it’s safe to assume that louis genuinely didn’t intend to pass off other’s work as his own. he immediately scrambled to explain himself and apologise, even going as far as to demean himself as a mediocre artist. he’s so enraged by this incident because he fears how it reflect on him and how it will cause readers to perceive him. in order to be able to tolerate himself, louis has to maintain this very specific image of himself where he is this vulnerable but restrained vampire who is totally fine. louis is always barely holding this facade together and his ability to swallow his more intense emotions has obviously been something that he’s struggled throughout his life, from lashing out and killing the alderman in new orleans to triggering daniel’s tremors out of spite in dubai.

and circling back to dubai, this is all wonderfully conveyed via his change in accent in the present day. he no longer retains his new orleans accent, now speaking with an accent closer to a general north american one. his tone is also much more subdued and soft-spoken, rarely even raising his voice. this really hits home how weary louis has become and how he’s become so detached from his true self. he’s not energised, he’s not passionate, he’s not happy. the closest we get to pulling back the curtain on louis’s mask is when he lashes out and acts most like a stereotypical vampire. if there is a “true” louis then it’s likely the one who triggers daniel’s tremors, who digs through daniel’s memories about alice, who argues with armand over the misplaced photographs. i’m not trying to say that louis is inherently an violent or angry person but the most emotion we get from him in the present day is when he’s wrathful, bickering with armand, laughing in daniel’s face. it’s far from the whole picture of who louis de pointe du lac is but it’s the most honest portrayal he’s allowed of himself over the course of the interview. he does have much more emotional and somber moments but his repressed anger is poignantly tied to his repressed vampirism. we don’t know who louis truly is in dubai and and i suspect he isn’t sure himself

[the-al-chemist]

Happy Worldbuilding Wednesday! As you've written a fair bit about Charlie, I'm sure you've thought a lot about dragons by proxy. Are there any headcanons/ideas you have about dragons in your world (that Charlie is likely to talk about at length to people)? - @hphmmatthewluther

Well, look who is here asking me about things that I love to talk about. Dragons? Yes please. Charlie Weasley? Even more yes please.

So, I had a good think about dragons when it came to Learning to Fly. I’m a stickler to canon, so I knew I wanted them to be completely wild animals, but I needed to have Norbert(a) able to interact with Charlie. So, I based my “characterisation” of dragons on a few things, some of which made it into the story, some of which remained unpublished.

Until now.

I’m so sorry, you hit my nerdy/hyperfocus spot. This is such an essay of a response. I’m leaning into it with picture examples and everything…

Anatomy/Physiology

Firstly, I used birds as an inspiration. This is an obvious one, sort of. Generally, you have two different dragon appearances in recent western fantasy: either they have four legs plus a pair of wings or their wings are their front limbs. In the Harry Potter films, they use the latter. It’s less cute, but makes more sense in terms of them actually being able to fly.

All the terms I used to describe Norbert(a)’s body parts were anatomical terms for these body parts in birds, e.g. the keel. The keel is the breastbone, and in birds the muscles used for flight all attach here in order to keep the centre of gravity low on the body for flight. There are tendons that then extend up through a loop of bone and act as pulleys for their wings, the bones of which are actually very similar to our own arms, if you look closely.

As well as their flight mechanisms, birds have a bellows system of air sacs that I wanted to borrow for my dragons. Birds use these for respiration (think about oxygen at high altitudes during flight), but for my dragons, they have another purpose. Because, what else needs oxygen? What is it that dragons are most famous for? What is responsible for those burns on Charlie’s arms?

Fire.

I am not much of a reptile expert, so I didn’t take much in the way of inspiration from reptiles when writing about my dragons. I do, however, have the headcanon that, like all reptiles, dragons are cold-blooded. Most physiological adaptations have more than one purpose, and so, my dragons don’t just use fire for hunting and defence purposes — they use it to keep themselves warm. They produce the flames in their thorax, where there is a good oxygen supply and the blood can be warmed easily due the proximity to the heart, and the muscles and thick bone of the keel are able to protect it.

Behaviour

I used more elements of dog behaviour when writing Learning to Fly than anything else, for the simple reason that it is the animal body language I understand best and that I thought most readers would understand best. However, I would argue that dragons are far more like cat species than dogs in regard to their behaviour, so I included some cat-like tendencies as well.

Dogs are social creatures, and most of their behaviours have evolved in order to maintain order within a pack. They hunt in packs, roam in packs, raise offspring in packs. Other than lions, cats are usually solitary creatures, only joining together as adults to mate. There are exceptions, of course, but this is usually the rule. The same goes for dragons, from what we see in canon. Therefore, their behaviour will largely be based on avoiding conflict in order to avoid injury to themselves, and on solitary hunting. I did put this in with Norbert(a) — in one of the final chapters, she engages in play behaviour by mimicking hunting, like a cat.

I also took a lot of inspiration from orcas, mainly in respect to the ethical arguments surrounding their captivity. If you haven’t seen Blackfish, you should definitely do so. I headcanon dragons to be immensely powerful and intelligent beings with wide roaming ranges, who do not cope well in captivity. In canon, it is known that dragons are too dangerous to keep as pets, and judging by the treatment of the Gringotts dragon, the ones that are kept in captivity do not lead happy and fulfilled lives.

I have written several times that dragons kept in captivity suffer from severe impairments to their physical and emotional health, to the point that they have reduced length of life as well as quality of life compared to their wild counterparts. Most of that has been in the form of dialogue from Charlie.

Three guesses what is the thing he really won’t shut up about…

[dr-eepy]

Hi! You offered so uhhh

My biggest problem right now is the first two gyms, the so called “beginner” ones, are bug and grass. I only have my bounsweet and azumarill. And I know they could do it, eventually, but I also don’t want to push them too hard. Like, Lapis (azumarill) could probably take on the bug gym but she’s still getting back in the swing of battling after becoming disabled. And she’s still learning signs for battles. So it’s not fair to expect her to take on three bug types (well. Ones a normal type terastalizes into bug) in a row, and Bowsette can’t support very well because. Grass type. So I called the battle off when lapis was getting overwhelmed. But also the other “beginner” gym is grass type and neither lapis or Bowsette can do much there.

I’ve tried catching a third Pokémon to add to the team but… I haven’t been able to.

-💎 ( @flowerandjewel)

your pokemon definitely don't have great matchups, but let's see what we can do.

long post + battle strats under the cut

I've never trained or battled with a disabled pokemon, so I can't give you much advice there. keep working on teaching your azumarill battle signs, because that will help with speed and ease of communication. a lot of battling is learning how to work with your pokemon, and your pokemon learning how to work with you. battling is hard work, and takes time. make sure not to push your pokemon too hard. it can be a detriment if they're under a lot of pressure. focus on being encouraging, and reward behaviours you want to see more of.

now for battle strategy.

bounsweet, as a grass type, is obviously a bad matchup against bug types, and it's a similar situation with azumarill and grass. neither pokemon are known to have access to moves that change their type, so that's off the table.

the bug gym will probably be easier to tackle (ha ha) first.

according to research, most azumarill know rollout from a very young age. I'm going to guess and say that your pokemon aren't very experienced yet, but if your azumarill doesn't know/has forgotten rollout I'd see about talking to a move reminder.

rollout is a rock-type move that gets stronger with consecutive uses, though it's a bit more likely to miss than most moves. rock is super effective against bug type pokemon, so I'd give that a shot.

if your azumarill has defense curl and is having trouble, I might use that once or twice at the start of battle before committing to rollouts. azumarill tend to be tanky, and as a fully evolved pokemon they tend to be a little stronger, so you have that on your side.

tail whip is inferior for this purpose because you lower the attack the opponent pokemon, who in an optimal scenario are going to be fainting, and you don't want to break your rollout streak by tail whipping the next 'mon. defense curl raises your own defense, and given what you've told me you're unlikely to be switching out of lapis, so that should last you the battle.

this strategy also has the advantage of only needing two signs, so it shouldn't be too hard to teach.

if you want a bit of an edge up going in and are willing to give your opponent a free hit, you might try sending bowsette out first and having her use sweet scent before switching out, which will lower the evasion of the first pokemon you face and make getting the ball rolling (ha ha) on rollout easier. it shouldn't be necessary, though.

if you are still having trouble, my advice is that you're probably just not ready for the gym yet, and you should practice some more before trying again.

however, if you're willing to spend the time/money, getting your hands on a wide lens will increase the accuracy of rollout so that it almost never misses, but you should make sure it's worth the investment first. they're around P20,000 new in paldea, which is obviously a lot, but you can get them secondhand for around P5,000, which is a lot more reasonable. just make sure they're in decent condition (not scuffed, broken, etc. a bad lens can actually lower your accuracy).

a fire-type pokemon would obviously be a lot of help with both these gyms, and I'd recommend it for type coverage in the future as well. I can't give many tips on catching mons- most of mine picked me, if I'm being honest. there are always pokemon shelters, if you're desperate, and you'll be helping a pokemon in need of a home.

I'd recommend avoiding the grass gym until you get another teammate or are much more experienced unless it's necessary. paldeans don't have a set order for the gyms, right?

my only tip for the grass gym with your team as-is is that grass resists grass, so avoid using those moves on your opponents. go for rapid spin instead, which hits for neutral effectiveness.

[tallerthantale]

What Does Aziraphale Actually Believe, Part 2: The Veil

This is a series of my takes on what Aziraphale believes through the timeline of the show. It is all my personal interpretation, and I am happy to hear others. You don’t need to read them all in order, but know that I am coming from a perspective on Aziraphale’s machinations that may be difficult for people without a psychology background to follow without the first post as a primer. The quick version is that Aziraphale has a set of beliefs that exist in some form or another within his mind. However, at any given moment, only some of them exist ‘with awareness.’ The context of the moment will determine what lives on the surface and what stays invisible to him.

This post still has a bit of psychology set up to it, but I’m getting a lot more into the details of how everything relates to Aziraphale specifically, and talking about how I apply that understanding to the motivated reasoning Aziraphale demonstrates in Before the Beginning. About 2.6k words. 

In the spicy meta I mentioned how some of Aziraphale's behaviour reminds me of a pattern IRL, where some people want to bottom CNC (consensual non-consent) roleplay, while entertaining a fairly permanent pretense that they don't actually have any desires or want anything in particular. That pretense is about keeping those desires outside of conscious awareness because they conflict with the sense of self. I am repurposing some of my word choices from that discussion and dubbing the walls separating the conscious!Aziraphale from the rest of his mind ‘the veil,’ the area stuff lives when it isn’t in his conscious awareness ‘behind the veil’, and the cognitive mechanisms that operate in that space veil!Aziraphale. 

Immortal Memory

There are two main complications to making sense of what Aziraphale believes. The first complication is that what conscious!Aziraphale believes is heavily changeable within a set of options due to being regularly reconstructed based on what will preserve his sense of self in that context, as described in the first post. The second complication is that the set of Aziraphale’s potential beliefs evolves and adapts over time as his relationships to the world and to the institution of heaven change.

When we think of a person’s beliefs changing over time, we often like to think of it as a draft that gets overwritten as it is updated. The new version is up, the old version is gone. New update, this is what it is now. Replace that line with this line, done. 

Minds don’t actually work like that. We essentially have muscle memory for our thoughts and opinions. While we can collect an expanding set of potential opinions, and we can neglect to load an inconvenient one into awareness, the old ones don't tend to leave the set of options even when we intend to reject them. If you interpreted something wrong the first time you saw it, you form the memory of the misinterpretation, and you reinforce the wrong memory every time you recall it. This is called an encoding error. Then one day you find out you got it wrong, and you are trying to fight years of ingrained conditioned memory with one data point. It doesn’t matter how unambiguously true that new data point is, years of conditioned memory doesn’t just go away. It’s like trying to forget how to ride a bike. Consider the Mandala Effect. 

Aziraphale has millennia of lived experience. He may decide he is changing his mind about something, even with extreme conviction, but that won’t erase thousands if not millions of years of habitually thinking something else. We have ourselves an angel who has a capacity to swap out what he believes depending on the situation in front of him, and who has thousands of years of evolving belief systems conditioned into his mind’s ‘muscle memory.’ So not only is he normalised to switching his opinions around, he’s got a lot of options for what his opinions can be.

You Play the Hand You’re Dealt

The metaphor I’m going to go with is like a deck of cards. Anything Aziraphale has ever believed is somewhere in that deck. When a major event happens that forces him to think about things in a new way, he gets a new card, but the old cards don’t leave, the deck just gets bigger. The hand of cards he draws is what shows up in Aziraphale’s perceptible mind. That makes up what he believes in that moment. All the other cards functionally don’t exist to conscious!Aziraphale unless and until they get drawn, and they stop existing to conscious!Aziraphale when returned to the deck. 

Cards are not drawn to the hand at random, they are placed there by veil!Aziraphale. That part of Aziraphale makes the calls on what cards from the deck end up in conscious!Aziraphale’s hand. Veil!Aziraphale also has control over when cards leave conscious!Aziraphale’s hand. Conscious!Aziraphale doesn’t know that veil!Aziraphale exists, and assumes everything in the deck is consistent with his current hand. The result is a split Aziraphale, one part that will passively reshape his own opinions and judgements on autopilot to what is useful in the short term at that particular time, and one part blissfully naive to all of that, living as if he is the only part of Aziraphale that could exist, treating the hand he was most recently dealt as the only reality that could exist. The next day it's a different hand, a different reality, and a different conscious!Aziraphale.

Veil!Aziraphale functions like a computer program with a very basic code targeted to reducing specific kinds of imminent stress. It will keep things that are abrasive to Aziraphale’s sense of self out of his hand, keep things that conflict with whatever action he's about to take out of his hand, and not let contradictory things exist in his hand at the same time. It has no sense of long term strategy and cannot be reasoned with. 

The deck doesn’t contain all things. It contains the set of things Aziraphale can believe, and while that is a highly self contradictory set, it is not an infinite set. Veil!Aziraphale will run into situations where there is no arrangement of cards that keeps things happy and easy. There will be situations where there is something someone could believe that could be useful, like Gabriel and Michael thinking it is a great idea to kill Sitis’s kids and have her give birth 7 more times, but that is going too far for Aziraphale to believe. He has a sense of what feels right, at least by Eden, and he can't make cards that conflict with that. He will try to play the best hand that he can out of what isn’t going too far, and make new cards that stay within what can feel right. Making new cards doesn’t get rid of the old ones, it will always be an option to bring them back.

A Case Study in Motivated Reasoning

In Before the Beginning, we see an Aziraphale who is already terrified of heaven's wrath, while the Star Queen is still naive.  (Why I like to use the name Star Queen) This difference matters on a few levels. First, it shows that the seeds of Aziraphale’s ideological separation from the other angels predates Crowley’s involvement. While we will see Aziraphale convince himself to experience believing things out of fear, that isn't quite the same thing as being a true believer the way the other angels are. I would speculate that Aziraphale has already been having disciplinary issues with the institution. Whatever Aziraphale is ideologically speaking, it is not the result of Crowley’s temptations.

Second, it fits in with the manner of trauma response they develop. Aziraphale looks to have been traumatised from a very young start. The Star Queen was having a blast until suddenly they weren’t. This isn’t trauma olympics, this is just to point out that the age of onset correlates with different patterns of likely reactions, and Aziraphale and Crowley’s behaviour as we progress through the story fits those patterns. 

Aziraphale comes along with an attitude about what it is or is not their place to do or question as angels. It is not their role to give feedback. He feels positively about the universe being set up to be fancy wallpaper, and is surprised that the Star Queen is upset about it.

Why does Aziraphale seem to actively like the fancy wallpaper plan? Because he is supposed to. He is terrified of heaven, why would he believe something just because heaven says so? Because he is terrified of heaven. Literally that is why. Which experience is the more threatening to the sense of self, the universe where what you believe gets you on heaven’s shit list if anyone finds out, or the universe where what you believe organically happens to be what keeps you safe? Veil!Aziraphale's mind generates conscious!Aziraphale’s beliefs on the spot as a defense mechanism in a way that feels organic. Believing what dangerous people want him to believe is safer. Veil!Aziraphale is incentivised to form that hand of cards, which is a fully automatic process, and conscious!Aziraphale only has access to the hand he was given. The other cards functionally do not exist to him.

For those for whom this is hard to follow, you may be imagining it as being a person who knows they believe Y, being told under threat to believe X, trying to convince yourself to adopt a belief you know you don’t agree with. That doesn't tend to work. Belief follows action, but when there is a readily available belief of ‘I was forced to go along with it,’ there is no need to alter your worldview to explain your behaviour to yourself. So you likely end up pretending to believe X while getting extremely resentful.* That lines up with how the Star Queen sees being asked to like the wallpaper plan, but that is not what Aziraphale's mind is doing.

To the extent that there is a pre-existing Y belief, his mind will not let it out of the veil into his conscious awareness, because that would be dangerous. He is on the verge of existential crisis from even hearing that someone else might believe Y, because it is safest for him to not even have the hypothetical to consider. Veil!Aziraphale decided that he believes X because that is safer and decided Y is contraband, conscious!Aziraphale only knows he believes X.

I Can't Make Bricks Without Clay

This is how motivated reasoning works, and that’s why calling the people susceptible to it stupid and / or irrational isn’t helpful. There are no logical tools someone can use to think themselves out of the problem if the problem is that the relevant facts wont load into awareness. The reason I stick to the term 'motivated reasoning' rather than the more common ‘wishful thinking’ is that it is very common for motivated reasoning to get us to believe things that are highly unpleasant.

For example, people don’t experience survivor's guilt because ‘they want to.’ They experience survivor's guilt because the alternative is experiencing the awareness that any of your loved ones could die at any time and you can’t do anything about it. You can only believe it's your fault people died if you tacitly believe you had the power to stop it. You can frame survivor's guilt as wishing to have the power to be able to protect those you love, but people experience it as guilt and suffering, not as a power trip, because that component doesn't get loaded into awareness. When Aziraphale convinces himself to believe what he is told, he doesn't 'want' to be a bootlicker any more than a school shooting survivor 'wants' to believe it’s their fault their friends are dead. 

While susceptibility to motivated reasoning does vary across individuals, we are all vulnerable to it. The basic cognitive mechanisms that allow these patterns are present for everyone. I could just as easily talk about conscious!Star Queen and veil!Star Queen. So why do they have opposite reactions to heaven's imposing authority? The age of onset. (IRL these are differences of average, not categorical rules.) Aziraphale’s conditioned fear is baked into his development in a way that gives it more power than usual to keep things out of his awareness (we will see a demonstration of that at Eden) and Aziraphale has 'authority should be feared' and 'authority shouldn't be questioned' cards, because he added them to the deck when he was too young for them to feel wrong. Because Aziraphale has those cards and a particularly aggressive veil, he can pull off the 'have the experience of believing what you are told to believe' survival strategy. 

The Star Queen hadn't previously encountered a use for having 'authority should be feared' and 'authority shouldn't be questioned' cards, and they are developed enough now to respond to those concepts with an appropriate 'fuck that.' The Star Queen doesn't have extreme early onset fear baked into their development, so instead of veil!Star Queen keeping their disagreeable opinions behind the veil, it is keeping the reasons to be cautious behind the veil. We might like to think that the young Aziraphale who made those cards was wrong to do so, but I would encourage you to stay your judgment. In the IRL parallels having those cards is often what keeps those children alive. 

After the Star Queen expresses the intention to offer suggestions, Aziraphale is concerned for their (singular) wellbeing. He is terrified of how heaven will react, and he is right to be. Aziraphale doesn't want them to get into trouble. And that is very interesting. If Aziraphale was a proper true believer in operation 'shut everything back down again' he would want the Star Queen to get in trouble. He would see their attitude and like them less for it. That doesn't happen. It's not a genuine endorsement of authoritarian hierarchy, or he wouldn't be encouraging the Star Queen to play it safe. It is not a coherent belief system, or he'd have an argument in favour of the shut down plan, not an argument that 'it's not our place to question it'. It's also not an acted position, or he wouldn't be that excited about the fancy wallpaper. Aziraphale's belief in God and the ideal of heaven exists as a defense mechanism against his fear, to preserve his sanity. Ironically, it spends the next 6000+ years making him act fucking insane. 

Post 2/10

Post Note: When forced to do things under threat, ‘belief follows action’ can (not always) reverse and cause a backlash effect in the form of ‘I believe I am being oppressed’ making you reject beliefs that would support the behaviour (Fair.) However, when we are paid to do things, we don’t tend to blame the money, we experience that as we were intrinsically motivated to do the thing. (Tisk.) This is a big part of why political bribery is such an issue.

The money alters what the autopilot parts of our mind allow into our conscious experience, slanting us toward the incentive, blocking any awareness of the influence of the money on our decisions, and then construct a belief system consistent with the decision.  People believe the money isn’t affecting their judgment, they totally would have had that position anyway, that's just what they believe. They are incorrect.

On the plus side, we have a pretty reliable method for changing people’s opinions if we decide to use it. If you want to make someone believe something, pay them to do something consistent with that belief. (Vaccines…cough… cough… vaccines…)

[thelunarsystemwrites]

Documenting the unknown.

(TW for death and zombie like infections, and being restrained!)

Enter 0.1 - New log - Title: Possible evolution of infection.

Blue found an infected... that isn't.... normal.

We were out on a raid, mostly collecting snow from a post-genocide underfell AU, we needed it for the freezers, helps keep our produce fresh longer. When suddenly we were ambushed by a hoard of infected.

Immediately, we lost our story-shift Torial, and a Swapfell Papyrus, the hoard had atleast thirty in it's cluster, including an Error type Geno.

Somehow, one of the infected started opening portals, and our group was disbanded by force... Blue was missing for twelve hours.

We manged to Dust the hoard after awhile, though we faced a total of three confirmed causalites, having lost our classic Temmie...

Six people were missing. Blue, a storyshift Chara, underfell Muffet, and three different Froggets.

Immediately a search party was sent after them. We teleported across our nearest AUs, found two infected froggets of ours, who had to be dusted. We did recover Chara—As of writing this, Muffet and the other Frogget are still missing...

We did recover Blue... along with a 'survivor.' Which I write that with heavy hesitation, due to the state of said 'survivor.'

Lust, an old friend of Blue's, is currently infected. Physically, he is no different then a fully infected victim, however, he appears to have full sentience, not quite different from an actual survivor.

When I saw Blue helping Lust up, once he was located that is, at first I didn't know he was infected. As Blue had carelessly gifted his protected cloak to the other, it covered the lightning pattern Lust had, along with the greenish tint to his bones. Both were defined signs of being fully infected.

However, once I got a look, I drew my bow, assuming Blue was too in denial to end the suffering life...

Blue begged me not to shoot Lust, Lust begged me not to shoot. Normally an infected has lost all cognitive abilities, such as speaking, and especially that clearly... I decided to spare him, on the condition that we detain him to avoid him possibly infecting others.

So luckily, Ink was equipped with handcuffs, and a mask. After making sure the infected put on the mask, he was restrained as a precaution.

We manged to transport him back to our base, the entire time the infected was rather... chatty, with Blue.

Proper equipment was then used. We've put him into a muzzle, one that requires three steps to unlock, and cannot be unlocked without my direct input. We have also required him to wear full length gloves and socks, shackled hia legs and cuffed his hands, and put a double chained collar onto his neck, making head jerking very limited.

He has been detained in a quarantine cell, he has limited body movements aa of now, so we believe he is unable to attack. Even if Blue tells us that Lust was the one protecting him those twelve hours, I have no reason to believe this isn't some sort of trick. For all we know, the infection has now evolved enough to mimic sentences and behaviours of the host, to lure in prey...

I do not have the heart to dust him, I made a promise to Blue... and the infected. Plus, I do think it would be wise to research him first...

I do hope Blue doesn't get too attached again.

Logging off, Dream.

(Author note: this isn't exactly canon, as I want Dream and Ink to not know Lust was infected for awhile, atleast a day or so? But idk lol)

[blubushie]

Opinion on criptids? not including yeti, Yowie, bigfoot, or similar ape beings.

Aha! I'm talking about primates anyway.

Lucky you, cryptids are a former hyperfixation of mine. What else is a bored kid in the Outback supposed to do except obsessively read his book on cryptids and plot journeys to discover them?

Disclaimer: reason I'm not mentioning some obvious cryptids here (cough chupacabra cough) is because I'm not including cryptids that are likely misidentifications of other things (like how chupacabras are most likely coyotes and dogs with severe mange).

Listen, I've seen a yahoo. Maybe those yams went bad and I was just hallucinating. Maybe my childhood vivid visual hallucinations kicked back in for one evening. I don't know. All I'm saying is that I find it very interesting that practically every culture and continent on the planet has a story about large, hairy, ape-like beings that walk on two legs and have similar behaviours of reclusiveness, evasion of humans, piling things in their environment, knocking things like wood and stones, and chucking things at people who get too close. Also a lot of them supposedly pong quite a bit.

Almost like we had a distant ancestor that evolved and maybe spread around the globe some 300,000 years ago before humans even evolved...

Also Aboriginal Australians and Papuans have DNA from a, as of now, unknown human species. We have no idea what the fuck it is but it's presumed to be a situation similar to how European humans mated with Neanderthals (and eventually assimilated them into the human genome to the point of extinction). This coupled with so many mobs having stories about yahoos stealing away women in the night? I ain't saying nothing besides something's crook in Tallarook.

Anyway! If there's anything out there it's probably in the ocean. I'm keen to believe that maybe there's a freshwater plesiosaur somewhere in Loch Ness since plesiosaurs did travel from ocean to estuary to brackish water to freshwater and then out of the rivers back to the sea again. And with fully-freshwater plesiosaurs being likely, who's to say they didn't end up in the Loch? Well, science, since the Loch only formed by melting glaciers about 10,000 years ago and is completely landlocked, but fuck that we're talking cryptozoology! I think it's more than feasible that some juvenile plesiosaurs (much like crocodiles) survived the meteors and continued to reproduce... Just not in the Lock. I've been on the open ocean. I believe in sea monsters.

I'm fully convinced of the Blue Mountains panther because I've found the fucking tracks. No, dipstick I mentioned it to one time in person, big cat tracks look nothing like fucking dingo tracks.

Megalodons. Cliché, I know, but hear me out. A lot of people think that Megalodons pulled a colossal squid situation and went deep. I don't think so. See, Megalodons wouldn't have remained at a 15m size in the depths. There's too much pressure at deepwater, and the amount of food they'd need to maintain that level of mass without starving is much higher than the amount of food available at that depth. They'd need to feed so often that they'd defo be spotted because even colossal squid arise from the depths at night to feed, though they still remain pretty deep.

So deepwater? No. HOWEVER. However. A Greenland shark situation where Megalodon gradually evolved to maintain colder body temperatures and moved to the geographic poles to feed, remaining under the ice caps? More likely. Additionally the colder waters would mean that the Megalodon's metabolic rate would be incredibly slow to the point they'd only need to some up to the surface maybe once every six months to make a kill and then return, unpotted, to the darkness to digest. Now if only there were large, blubbery, calorie-rich prey items big enough to sustain a 15m apex predator's nutritional needs in frigid waters. Oh, if only the Megalodon had specifically evolved to hunt these large, blubbery, calorie-rich prey items... Hmm...

There's something in Lake Champlain. There's been recorded echolocations of an unknown animal. Do I think it's a plesiosaur? No. Do I think it's a freshwater dolphin or other caetacean? Yes.

The thylacine still exists somewhere in Tasmania.

Aliens.

Other miscellaneous ones I think are real are:

British big cats. Escaped/released exotics, especially after the 1976 Dangerous Wild Animals Act. There was even a puma caught alive in 1980 near Cannich in Scotland. She was named Felicity after her capture. You can read more about her and other (Scottish) big cats here.

Eastern cougars, Puma concolor couguar, haven't kicked the bucket yet.

Queensland tiger is either a surviving small population of mainland thylacines or a bloody Thylocaleo population that survived to the modern day. (They also might just be tree kangaroos though--far more likely.)

Min-Min Lights (I've seen them)

Zanzibar leopard. This was a leopard subspecies that lived on Unguja Island in Zanzibar, Tanzania. They went extinct in the mid-1990s after a bounty program enforced by the government and due to habitat loss. A living leopard was recorded on camera in 2018, but scientists keep whinging about how it's probably just a feral African leopard that was introduced to Zanzibar. I pity the hopeless.

Malagasy hippo. Supposedly gone extinct ~1,000 years ago, the last known sighting was 1976.

Aliens (again)

Humanity's greatest sin is thinking ourselves so wise that nothing remains a mystery to us.

[crossingalaxies]

hot take apparently but to me it’s tiring and boring and frankly a baffling way to approach tv or any other media to engage with fictional characters only to ‘judge’ them. like you can’t just let them make whatever mistakes they’re making or be as flawed and fucked up as they want without judging if they have behaved well enough for whatever standard you hold them up to and how they should correct their behaviour moving forward. are you watching a fictional show or filling up an employee evaluation sheet???

‘this character should have done this’ ‘that character should not have done that’ okay???? who cares. it would be supremely boring, not to mention unrealistic, if fictional characters only behaved in the most adequate perfectly reasonable way possible. so they fucked up? so they fucked up again and again and didn’t learn their lesson the first time? okay??? that’s life???

‘but we didn’t see this character learn from their mistakes and grow’. you ARE seeing it, it’s a process, not something that happens after ONE time they were confronted with their mistakes, especially if said mistakes are tied to one of their cardinal flaws rooted in the very essence of the character itself. it’s so much more interesting and rewarding to me as a viewer, not to mention easier for me to get attached to characters who are complete and utter messes, characters who stumble and fall, even when they should know better, characters who don’t immediately learn from their mistakes, who fail again and again, but keep trying to be better, and still through it all, they are loved, because they are deserving of it no matter what they think.

‘but this conversation should have happened sooner’ okay well it didn’t. people make dumb choices all the time, they act irresponsibly and unreasonably all the time, no matter how mature or level-headed they might be.

‘but this relationship doesn’t feel healthy’ okay here’s the thing: ‘healthy relationship’ has become just another buzzword that tiktok users throw around without understanding at all what it means. ‘healthy relationship’ doesn’t mean two people need to be on the same page about everything, it doesn’t mean mistakes are made once, dealt with and never made again; a healthy relationship isn’t based on 100% compatibility or perfect communication at all times and perfect solutions to every problem. it’s based on mutual respect and love and the willingness to make compromises, and to keep trying to understand each other better and choose each other every day. if there is a failure of communication or a disagreement or an inability to come to a perfect soultion for whatever issue, that in itself doesn’t make a relationship unhealthy. and honestly even if it did, so what? it’s fictional, it adds flavour! (not to mention expecting humans to always be perfectly emotionally healthy is... well not realistic, to say the least).

‘but they should learn to communicate better before they get married’ marriage isn’t some kind of prize that only perfectly functional couples are worthy of, some final achievement for the perfect relationship. relationships are changing and growing all the time, they don’t have to reach a perfect final level of ‘healthy’ before they can be awarded the prize of marriage. relationships keep evolving and couples keep learning more about each other all the time, during marriage just like before. the idea that a relationship is doomed unless it reaches its final form of perfection before marriage is crazy.

and on a final note, HOW do you watch a fictional couple that disagrees on having children work out not necessarily a final solution, but a compromise, with one of them admitting they have issues to deal with and trauma to process, and the other realizing that the kids issue is not a dealbreaker because ultimately what they want most is their partner, and come away thinking ‘well that’s not a very good relationship’?????

[salparadiselost]

A Quick Review of the Faie Auricula ("Itty Bitty") species

Hello and Welcome to the first step of owning your first Faie Auricula, or as most people call them, Itty Bitty! Now, we are sure you have many questions, but hopefully, we can clear some up and get you on the road to bringing your best friend home! First things first, what is an itty bitty?

Faie Auriculas are a tree-dwelling, mildly magical creature that initially came from the forests of North America and Europe. They are a semi-quadrupedal, semi-bipedal species that use their powerful hind legs and hooked claws to climb trees. In the wild, they live in large family groups and nest in tree hollows, often foraging for food at night. Their natural predators are owls, wild cats, and wolves, all of which wouldn't hesitate to hunt a bitty that strays too far from their hollow. Today, bitties don't have to worry about such scary things because bitties were domesticated many centuries ago. Originally, bitties were the pets of kings and queens and royalty often sent their knights on months-long expeditions to capture elusive bitties. As time passed, though, bitty craze spread to the masses and the demand for them grew despite the difficulty in acquiring them. Today, bitties still have the reputation of being a "rich man's" pet despite the great efforts to make them more accessible.

Why do they have such big eyes? One of the most notable features of a bitty (and one of the reasons they are so irresistibly adorable!) is their large eyes! Their eyes originally evolved to help them see in the dark and protect them from predators, but now they are mainly used to endear them to their human owners. A bitty's eyes are large from the very beginning and bitties grow into their eyes as they age.

The most common eye colour for a bitty is green or yellow. Teal eye colour is slightly rarer, and the most coveted eye colours are deep blue or purple. These colours are extremely rare in wild-type bitties, but through selective construction, the eye colour can be achieved.

What is selective construction? Selective construction is the magical process in which bitties are reproduced. Selective construction is a necessity in creating pet bitties because natural bitty reproduction is still a modern mystery!

Despite centuries of research, humans have never been able to breed bitties together, but groundbreaking research from Drake Industries discovered how to magically construct bitties. The magical construction process is a secretive, patented process so no details are known to the public, but we do know that construction requires material from at least two bitties to be viable.

Selective construction gives bitty owners the wonderful opportunity to choose which traits and behaviours they would like to put in their bitties! Prospective owners may choose traits such as eye colour, coat colour, coat length, coat texture, coat type, and tail type. Some traits are pricey than others, though, so be careful to keep track of your budget while ordering your bitties a la carte.

What should I know before my bitty comes home?

The most important part of owning a bitty is to be ready to love your bitty!

Bitties are an extremely social species and require lots of attention from their owners. They will need attention for at least two hours a day and it's highly recommended to give them outside time at least three times a week.

Bitties often are easily crate-trained due to their natural affinity to tree hollows, however, bitties will often grow unhappy if they are put into a crate for more than five hours a day. If you think that you will need your bitty to be comfortable in a crate, make sure to order a bitty constructed with a calmer temperament and train them early in their lives to be okay with being alone. Despite their high social needs, though, it is not suggested to adopt more than one bitty at once. If a bitty is adopted with another, they may try to bond with the other bitty instead of you! It's important to place yourself as the most important aspect of their lives as early as possible. When your bitty is older you may slowly introduce another into your household, but if the other bitty is an itty (a juvenile bitty that hasn't become bipedal yet) make sure it remains isolated until it is fully attached to its owners.

If all steps are taken to appropriately care for your bitty, you should expect to enjoy your bitty for approximately 12-14 years! As your bitty becomes a teenager, you should expect your bitty to start "slowing down", which means your bitty is entering its final stage of life. When you see that your bitty is slowing down, be sure to contact your vet to arrange end-of-life services for your friend. Although it is sad, slowing down is a painful, drawn-out process and it is much kinder to arrange these services for your bitty. Additionally, by arranging your services, you will be given the option to recycle your bitty into another construction for your next bitty! This gives you the ability to keep what you love about your bitty (and improve the parts that you don't love). I know you don't want to think about this now, however, it is best to know beforehand!

We are so glad you're starting the exciting journey of ordering a bitty! Please be sure to email our customer service department!

With Love, Drake Industries Building Your Best Friend from the Very Beginning - Excerpts taken from "A Quick Guide for Caring for Bitties" from Drake Industries

Written by: @salparadiselost Art from: @jube514

[melis-writes]

Fanfic Disclaimer: If you don't like it, please don't read it.

After writing and working fanfics continuously now on a daily basis for almost two years now, unfortunately it seems like making this post now is sadly unavoidable. 🫤 I feel the need to finally mention the disclaimer I'm putting on all my fics/work now due to a constant pattern of anon hate, insults, de*th threats and unwanted "constructive" criticism on my work.

I can't stress enough: if you don't like a fanfic for any reason whatsoever, you don't have to read it! You really don't. Nobody's making you read anything you don't want to and you're not a bad guy if you put it down the first paragraph in or five chapters in. Another thing you don't need to do at all whatsoever is send hate comments/asks, or tell fic authors they're writing is shit and their fic is too. Unwarranted, rude and hateful comments only make you look like the awful person, not someone with a "different opinion". 😕

This exact kind of disgusting behavior is a huge cause of why many fanfic authors delete all of their works, stop posting, and stop writing. I ignored it for some time myself but seeing that it's clearly going to continue periodically and not stop, I'm addressing it all in this post.

From the past almost 2 years since I've been writing Moth to Flame, I've been repeatedly a target of this behavior/bullying up to the point where it's evolved to anon hate/blogs that I've blocked changing locations to send me asks, sending me and my fics hate while making new blogs to interact with me, actively reading my fics and writing hate comments on them, and interacting with my blog while continuing to send me hate over a fanfic. 😶 What it's evolved to is downright ridiculous and insane and I am no longer entertaining it in any way, shape or form whether it comes on AO3 comment sections or here.

I'm not going anywhere. I'm never going to stop writing fics or my original work. Writing is my hobby, my passion, one of my favourite things to do and this hasn't changed for 16 years and it never will. I'm not going to delete my fics/works for anyone or anything and that includes anon hate and every nasty message inbetween. I'm here to stay, and nobody is obligated to read my fics or even interact with my blog so please, if you don't like me, my writing and anything regarding it from the style to the characters' personalities and down to the plot, unfollow me. Block me. Please don't interact with me in any way if you don't like me/my writing for whatever reason.

My welcome onto Tumblr after beginning to post the first few chapters of Moth to Flame was anon hate and nasty messages. Because of a fanfic, I've been told to "stop writing it because it discourages other fanfic authors" due to Moth to Flame's soaring popularity, that I have "ego problems" from accepting and being grateful for feedback and compliments, that I "think I'm better than every other fanfic writer" because I'm confident and comfortable with my writing style and skill and refuse to insult myself or downplay my own talent in some way, that I have a monopoly on Michael Corleone x Reader fics and that I supposedly think "nobody else can write good Michael Corleone x Reader fics". ??? None of these are remotely true at all. ☹️

Since then, I've had growing suspicions this kind of bullying and behaviour was coming exclusively from The Godfather fandom and unfortunately, I was right. 🫤 Being in many fandoms for long periods of time on and on for years, The Godfather fandom is the first fandom I've ever been in where I've seen blogs group up and gang up on other blogs to send anon hate/make nasty posts about them, have someone tell me to k*ll myself over a fanfic, encourage other blogs/users to individually send hate (over anything, ships, headcanons, etc.), make new blogs to send hate and to follow/stalk from and so much more disgusting, awful behavior.

It got all the more concerning when I had friends and mutuals telling me they're distancing themselves from The Godfather fandom and choosing to have nothing to do with it or follow anyone from it. I've had beloved mutuals and friends deactivate their blogs over witnessing this behaviour in the fandom. 💔

Over a fanfic, I've had anon hate telling me I'm a misogynist/hate women because Moth to Flame is based in the late 1940s/1950s, that Victoria has "too many children", that there's "too much smut" in a SMUT fic, that Victoria "isn't shy enough" (just to name a few) and users telling me how I should write my own fanfic and my portray my own characters differently because they don't like how the plot went or how the character acted. These are no longer bits of "constructive" criticism, but condescending insults coming from individuals who clearly don't like my fics or my writing, but refuse to stop reading them, refuse to stop interacting with me and continue to send more anon asks and anon AO3 comments.

I believe that one of the many great things about second person perspectives in writing/fanfics is that you get to step into a new world and experience the plot with or as the character. This doesn't mean the character is going to be 100% like you and it's not my intention or wish to do that or change my characters entirely so someone likes them better either.

I'm all for difference of opinion and love the unique ways my readers enjoy my works and react to them. 🥰 I've received many intriguing comments/feedback on my fics where readers were shocked by a plot twist or didn't expect a character to behave a certain way, even that to them the characters weren't good people, etc, or have asked questions about why something happened the way it did or why a character is the way they are. I've always been happy to answer and been more than okay with welcoming all opinions and comments on my fic so as long as they are kind.

I'm not accepting any type of comments/submissions/asks of the sort received containing "constructive criticism" of any kind over a fanfic, telling me how to write/portray my characters, telling me to alter/change the plot, etc.

I'm very happy to block, report, rinse and repeat whether it be here or on AO3. I've met some amazing people from The Godfather fandom on here and made the best of friends with many, but to ignore the toxicity here is to ignore the obvious. This isn't okay. Please for the love of God, read fanfiction you enjoy and interact with blogs you enjoy, not the opposite.

I will always love and welcome thoughtful and kind comments/feedback on my fics but I'm not going to stop writing my fics, I'm not going to change my characters or alter the plots because someone doesn't like them.

To my beloved readers, followers and mutuals who love and support my writing and fics: thank you. ❤️ I'm forever and always grateful for every bit of your appreciation and feedback. Thank you so much for everything. I can't wait to write more fics and share my writing with you guys!

If you don't like it, please don't read it and please don't send hate over it to any fanfic writers and to their fics.

[actually-factually-anonymous]

The appealing Rebis known as Marinette Dupain-Cheng

I've criticized Marinette quite a bit at this point, and I likely do so with great frequency for the foreseeable future as it's one my great sources of catharsis for Miraculous-related frustrations.

But just for a break of pace and for the sake of some semblance of balance: let's go into the merits of her character. Because after all, Marinette isn't just a collection of faults and frustrations in jumpsuit; she has things like make her enjoyable to watch as a protagonist.

Let's boil it down to the basics :

Marinette has two distinct but enjoyable sides to her. One is Marinette the (alleged) "ordinary girl", the other is course Ladybug the nigh-invincible heroine.

Marinette, at least in her early episodes, is a klutz, a bully-victim and emotionally compromised around her crush. These are all highly relatable things, both for the children watching and for older viewers who can easily recall being at least some of those things when they were younger- or at least seeing some of their friends and family be subject to them.

She's creative, talented and has a mix of personal interests. She's a very feminine girl with her interests in fashion and a clothes making. But she's by no means shy or demure- and she certainly has a share of traditionally boyish interests, as her enthusiastic competitiveness with video games demonstrates. Her clothes seemingly reflect this, with her blatantly pink pants and the flower pattern on her blouse showing her femininity: but the actual clothing combination in question (pants shirt and jacket) being unisex. It would be easy for the target audience of young girls to see themselves in her.

She's silly and eccentric enough to be amusing, but also down to earth enough to avoid becoming outright annoying with her screentime. Importantly, she's kind-hearted and cares for those around her, and even when she falls into selfish behaviour (when the episode recognizes it) she's quick to try and correct it once she understands her fault. Combine that with her cute design, entertaining expressiveness and enthusiastic pursuit of her ideas and she's both endearing and entertaining.

Side note: Marinette's many strange expressions are legitimately some of the funniest things in media. The Hungrybug scenes in Dearest Family and especially, and the scene when Bakerix is reaching for her earrings while she gormlessly chews down on Gallete is my favourite moment in Miraculous

Ladybug meanwhile is Marinette's opposite. She's confident, reasonably sensible and capable to the point of overshadowing anyone else on her team (not always a good thing it has to be noted) and her power and wits allow her to leverage her creativity into a solution for seemingly any problem. And at the end of the battle, she has a Reset Button to repair and heal any damage that the villain might have caused. The city she protects loves her and she is showered with support from all sides save the villains', not the least among that support is her the partner who is so hopelessly in love with her that it's downright annoying.

This is important because her most notable inspiration Spider-Man is the memetic symbol of a life damned to cycles of varying levels of misery. Ladybug however is a true power fantasy by any measurement.

This isn't automatically bad thing, especially for the age range the show is aimed at. The ideal of a kind, competent heroine who gets appreciated by those around her for her efforts being a source of escapism for children isn't something to get up in arms about. Not everything needs to be gritty and realistic, or an examination into the human psyche. There's a place for trope-heavy, simple and gentle storytelling and young children's media certainly falls within it.

Certainly the writing of Maribug's character varies from episode to episode and how she's evolved under over five seasons could be debated about. But the core of her appeal is simple and understandable:

She is a Rebis: the Girlfailure and the Girlboss in one. Endearing and relatable for her fault and human experiences on one side, inspiring and a heroic power-fantasy on the other.

Certainly, there's plenty of criticism to be made, and plenty of exceptions for the "Girlfailure" and "Girlboss" claims. But she's got plenty of merit as a character, she's just subject to the same principle of almost everything in Miraculous:

Great Concept: questionable at best execution.

[ofthenoseclan]

hey. talk abt reimari. unless you already have then any other specific combo of charas u find interesting or particularly like

REIMARI... oh it would be my honour to,, sorry for not getting to this sooner im not very eloquent when it comes to ships but i wanted to do this ask justice

funny enough both characters took a lot of time to grow on me. i didnt dislike either of them when i began the series, but they didnt quite click for me until i got to the latter half of the franchise, and after reaching that point i had a newfound appreciation for what came before it as well

a huge strength of both reimu and marisa is how dynamic and malleable their personalities are over the course of the series, and despite the large changes in outlook as time passes they still continue to act as two halves of the same whole, complementing each other by evolving to fit the roles that the other grows out of.

as a child, marisa is extremely brash and impulsive, marching to the beat of her own drum. in contrast, reimu is a lot more mature— comparatively, at least; at the end of the day she can be as much of a kid as marisa at times (see many early chapters of touhou kourindou ~ curiosities of lotus asia.). she is carefree, but still pragmatic when need be. she often fills the tsukkomi role whenever the two interact with each other in the early era of the franchise.

over time, though, reimus worldview changes from a generally optimistic one to a rather jaded one when it comes to her role in gensoukyou. as she starts to become disillusioned with her identity and her lifestyle, marisa begins to take up the more responsible role in many instances. while still staying true to her laissez-faire, free-spirited self, she is also more down to earth, considerate of others, and able to see the big picture.

you can see this big shift on display most distinctly in touhou ibarakasen ~ wild and horned hermit. the manga is framed from kasens unreliable point of view, so the duos behaviour should be taken with a grain of salt, but not so much as to doubt it entirely. at many points of the manga you can see reimu at her most irresponsible and vulnerable, and marisa very often acts as a straight man in those situations. one persons attitude is fitted to complement the other at their lowest point, and to match them as equals at their finest.

theres also a LOT of parts in ibarakasen where marisa is visibly affectionate with or worried for reimu. chapter 37 is iconic in the fanbase for showing them being blatantly flirty with each other, but theres many other points too. chapter 47 is an honest-to-goodness official sick fic, and during it marisa is noticeably way more worried for reimus health than everyone else, feeling annoyed when no one can nurse her back to health fast enough.

its also telling in the first place that marisa frequently makes visits to reimus shrine at all, seeing as shes very often a loner, living secluded in the forest of magic and studying danmaku techniques in her spare time. aside from leaving to find more to research, visiting reimu seems to be the primary reason she ever leaves the forest. likewise, reimu is characteristically rude and annoyed at anyone who visits the shrine if they arent donating patrons, wanting nothing more than to be left alone. the sole exception to her surly attitude toward uninvited guests is marisa, whom she expects to show up on a whim rather often, and casually and unconditionally welcomes her if she does.

i know this isnt even close to the amount i can say about them (i havent even MENTIONED their date at the end of 4, for example) but im gonna leave it here at least for now. theres so much to their dynamic even if you ignore the romance side of things. they have been perfected and chiseled down into a beautiful intricate sculpture of a protagonist duo over the years. reimari nation represent

[oro-e-diamanti]

The one where it takes Thomas a year, please :))))

...and no one was surprised at your choice haha, but I'm far from complaining since it's one of my favourites as well, so thank you for letting me talk about it 🥰

this one is the first Thomas fic I ever wrote, I remember thinking the others were easier to write for at first but then something clicked in my brain with Thomas and this story (and many many other ideas!) evolved out of that

I really enjoy stories that have some kind of concept and I played with the idea of cycling through some sort of time frame before and as I started thinking about this one, it just seemed to make sense to chronicle them going through a year of ups and downs

Obviously that's also where the title stems from because as much as the ups in this can be great, it really does take Thomas a full year to commit to this relationship

I did like the idea of throwing y/n into the situation with no idea about any of them and simply being enamoured with seeing Thomas exactly the way he is

I also like how straight from the beginning there's a sort of alienation also because she can't keep up with his Italian and not keeping up seems to be a minor theme in general

Also I very purposely used a bit of different style of story telling and excluded all direct speech and I think it definitely works in this context

I played a lot with mirrored scenes here as well, and I quite like how it turned out, for example the end of January with her leaving him there followed by February where he's doing the same to her

Also, I'm not sure why, but I really enjoy the short scene of them having sex on the balcony, I think that's something I could write pages about (maybe I should)

As for the other three, I didn't want to go the picture perfect route of them just loving her unconditionally immediately because as much as I think they're absolutely capable of that, they'd also be fiercely protective of their friends

May is very much about the realisation that you might want different things and the disconnect happening between them emotionally and how they're just not talking clearly about what they want

I also found it important to highlight that even though Thomas is super close with his band mates, he very much doesn't tell them everything and in fact may hide things, reasons for this are open to speculation but I have my own

Again, with the mirroring of scenes, in June I maker her leave him in the morning but I think it's quite a contrast to his behaviour because she seems to do it with a much heavier heart

The August chapter was a little painful to write, because as much as she had been aware that they were far from perfect and that their expectations of their time together kept diverging further and further, to actually catch him with someone else in what seems like a bleak proof that none of what they had was special was... ouch

I also made Vic interject here because I think she loves her friends very much but she's also not one to shy away from telling them when they fuck up

I quite like what I did for September in October, it's a very simple structure that hopefully mirrors the way she feels in those days, there's little contrast in those two months that suggest it's getting better (or is it getting worse?) but still shows she's very stuck

When he apologises in November I really wanted to make sure she didn't forgive him too quickly because I wanted this story to feel honest and not like a quickly-written, barely-planned-out, unrealistic type of romcom where one sentimental gesture and an apology makes everything okay

It's also why they don't have sex that night because Thomas needed to prove that he's in this for the right reasons, for her, and not leave a single doubt about him potentially only being after the physicality of it

December feels a bit like an epilogue and I hope I didn't wrap the story up too quickly but I quite like this part either way because yes, things are good, and yes, there's love in the air and it's fluff but it still feels real and fragile, only in a more positive light this time around

Anyway, I still love this story with all my heart and I really want to write something like this again, I just need to figure out how and what makes this story (is it the style? the concept? the content?) so I can get the feeling back and put it in more fics 💕