#there is a lot of emphasis on the bad side of life and so so many people trying to do shit to us and yet. even in the 1800s the 1900s

[pigswithwings]

But do we live? I don't mean survive, I mean live. Is it worth it?

Asking for a very scared teenage trans masc that's definitely not me

it's so worth it man. and yeah we do live. some of us get out of our old houses and some of us get married to people who love us for who we truly ate and some of us get new jobs and some of us start cleaning out our old wardrobes and some of us join bands and start organizations. so we do live. we have always wanted to live, and we will. i can tell you that nothing is permanent in life, but that includes the bad times. you will make it out. the life you've been wishing for? the end of the darkness you see in your daydreams? it will happen. maybe slowly but it will happen. and when it happens you will sleep soundly and wear what you like and people will notice your name and your voice for how cool they are. ok

[thedivinetarot]

Light of my life, fire of my loins, my sin, my soul [Pt.2]

Who is your future spouse?

☆ How to chose the perfect pile for you?

1) Close your eyes.

2) Clear your mind.

3) Take a deep breathe.

4) Ask the question in your head. And open your eyes. The pile you are drawn to the most is your pile.

☆ Note:

- This is a general reading. So, please take what resonates with you.

- Please, Please and I will say it again PLEASE DO NOT think of anyone. Not your EX or crush or EVEN someone you are currently dating. This reading about your future spouse.

- Also the energy is not set in stone. So don't be surprised if your choice change after a period of time.

Lots of love

Arya

Pile 1 - Eternal kiss

Your current energy:

I see that this pile is feeling trapped and lacking something. Pile one I feel like you lack clarity regarding a situation in your life. I'm not really sure whether it is love, or work or even spirituality. I feel like this pile is paralyzed. They are trying to find clarity about something, but you can't even put your finger on. I feel like you are looking forward. You are between the past and the future. I think this pile have been dealing with something and when they found their clarity they are now ready to move on. I see that this pile are deciding whether to stay or leave this chapter and letting go of that situation. You've been trapped into that situation for a long period and now you are choosing to move on and close that chapter. You have succeeded in fighting the demons in your head. You have done the right work, you are taking care of everything. I salute you pile one. At the beginning of this reading, you were confused, paralyzed and you lack clarity but then you realized that the situation doesn't really deserve the energy you are pouring into it. I see that after you healed yourself and closed the chapter you finally received the blessings from the universe. This pile’s energy is sooo great! Guys I feel like the things you manifested are on the way. They are coming so soon especially if you are manifesting clarity or news regarding something. The universe is going to show it to you in the weirdest way. So, be open.

Who is your spouse (personality)

I see that this person is very defensive. To be honest if you are someone with high masculine energy this person is your opposite. He have a very feminine energy. He is nurturing, sweet and motherly. I see that this person is explosive. This might be something negative about him. Or he catastrophically; changes a lot. He might be pluto dominant or scorpio in his big three. I see cancer and Capricorn too, so take what resonates. People with pluto dominant changes a lot internally. I see also that this person is lazy? Or slow? I see that this perosn might be working in a bad job or he hates his job honestly. Like this job gives him a lot of money but he doesn't really like it since there’s a lot of pressure on him. This person like to work in groups or he is an extrovert. I see that he might be insecure physically OR possessive. Again I see that he is so wise and Intelligent. I see a lot of emotional maturity here. This person really loves to take care of people and help them. You see those men with mbti ENTJ or ENFJ 9w8 in movies? I'm picking up on someone like that. Also there's emphasis on the voice too, he might have loud tone. Very nurturing and sweet but manly at the same time. He might even help you balance your feminine and masculine energy. Oooh now I got it pile one! Maybe in the beginning of your relationship with him (the initial stages) you might think he is lazy, feminine and spoiled. But then he will truly show you WHO IS THE MAN at the end of the day. I see that he is the true gentleman that every lady dreams of. I see that despite his emotional side or nurturing side he knows how to take care of other stuff like work, finances and you wink wink ;). I see that once he commit to you; you'll be HIS forever. This person is not the "Oh it didn't work out goodbye" type of person. No he is "Let's work on it" type of person. He is so reliable. And stubborn omg pile 1 that's wonderful now let's look into his physical appearance.

His appearance

Well, I guess this person is naturally beautiful. He might have brown or dark brown hair with light or dark eyes, take what resonates. He has a very light to medium skin tune. Or even olive skin undertone. Also I see that he might be your type or he might be someone you are comfortable to date physically. You might feel comfortable or like how he looks. I see that his aura make you feel safe and cared for. You see that video on tiktok to a girl returning home late in the subway, she was anxious and scared and then she saw a guy with a calming and serene aura that his aura helped her to calm her anxiety down? He might be like this. I see that his weight is medium for his height to a little overweight or curve. I see light eyes also. Between hazel, green or even light brown.

Now, let's look into his finances.

His financial state

I see that in the beginning of his career. When he started earning good amount of money, people who dated him or people in his life used him for his money. But now I see that he matured honestly. I see that his financial state is very good. Like he might earn above the average person and he is very smart dealing with his finances. You see I feel like he gives off daddy vibes. He might spoil you rotten. Like if you were someone who dated dusties he will come in and swap you off the ground and show you how a real man treat his baby girl. I see that financially, he is so generous and giving. Especially for people who he care for. Like if he cared for you or if you want to know that he truly appreciate your presence he will pay for everything that's what I'm seeing. I see also the energy of someone practical. Very practical guys.

So, when will he come into your life?

I got 2,6,7. So after 2 or 6 or 7 months, again take what resonates this is different for everyone. July and November coming in strongly. You guys might meet in those months or this person is born in one of these months. Guys I see that he might be someone you already know. He is not giving any Ex vibe no I'm not seeing that. This might be someone you have brief encounters with. You might went on a date with them or someone from your hometown or childhood. Could be a childhood friend? Maybe. Or someone you dated when you were in school. I'm picking up on a neighbor too.

Possible placements (U or them)

Taurus, Aquarius, Capricorn, cancer, leo. Also I see Venus, Pluto, Saturn dominant energy. Also I see 2nd, 11th, 10th, 4th, 5th house stallium or his big 6 in one of these houses.

Pile 2 - the engagement

Your current energy

I'm picking up on multiple energies in this pile. So, I see that some of you guys started your healing journey and now you are finally seeing the results. I see that this pile is channeling their inner pain into something creative like painting, drawing or writing. And if not; you are channeling this pain into physical activity like working out constantly, and going out to take a walk. Something like that. I see that other people in this group is my artistic people. You are working on a project, a painting, or a book for others I see active manifestations here. You might be manifesting healing, romance or an Ex. Guys what did I say before about moving on? It is so frustrating! Stop trying to manifest a dusty please. Embrace the abundance mindset. Believe me pile 2 you deserve better honey. That person is not that good for you so don't be delusional about them and do not manifest them. I see that this pile also are taking very good care of themselves. Like you are taking care of your health, your mental well-being and overall your fitness level. Or if you are not manifesting someone then I think there's someone (romantic offer) or an Ex who want to get back with you. In this situation (the ex) you decide whether you want them or not. Please be wise pile 2. The dominant placements in this pile are air placements (Gemini, Libra and Aquarius), Aries, capricorn. Mercury, and Uranus dominant planets in your chart.

Who is your future spouse (personality)

Well, I'm picking on a very taurian energy, venusian. This person might be a Taurus, Aries, Cancer. Venus, Uranus and mars dominant. I see that this person is very practical. His mind function when he thinks about money or money is everything on his mind, he is a materialistic person to the moon and back. It is so hilarious 😂, he is very generous, active physically or energetic. I see someone in a constant motion. Also this person is so handsome/pretty? Yeah he take good care of himself. He live in the present moment, his whole life is the 24 hour in his day. He have no regrets over the past and no anxiety over the future. He is so earthy and possessive. He sees his people, or people in his life as his territory. Like you are his and his only. This person might be your twin flame or soulmate. He might enter your life out of the blue. I see a geographical distance between you two. I see that this person is feeling down lately. I feel like he lack motivation or he feel disappointed because of a problem in his job. I see that he is childish or optimistic. I'm picking up on a volcano, this person is like a volcano to be honest. He might display a poker face but inside he is overwhelmed by emotions. You see Mr. Darcy in pride and prejudice? Like he was madly in love with Elizabeth but she never knew because of the stern face he show her. This perosn had a terrible past. I see that he was constantly being lied or deceived to. I see that he had a very heavy karmic lessons. Especially about deceit or lies, people might have used him because he was naive and childish. I see that he is so nurturing. His only goal right now is to work hard on himself and his finances/career. I see someone who is disciplined too. This person enjoys the finer things in life or expensive things I'm seeing. This person adores MONEY he breathe money. But he is so caring and gentle at the same time so don't worry. I see that he is a little bit insecure about how he looks. He doesn't see how beautiful he is, you see those models who complain about their insecurities to the internet but they are drop dead gorgeous. He is like that.

His physical appearance

Okay, this person and you have a wonderful chemistry together. So, I think his physical appearance might compliment yours. He might have a similar features. You see those people who date but everyone thinks they are siblings? He is like that. People might think you are siblings because you kinda look alike. I see someone with medium height. Curve or chubby. Light eyes (Hazel, green, grey) and light hair (dirty blonde, blonde, very light brown hair) round and cute features. I see that this person look like he is smiling or smirking even though he is not. Or his eyes, it seems like they are sparkling. Straight hair to wavy too. Pale skin, light skin and medium skin tone. This person is not too tall not too short. His height compliment yours. Like if you are short then he might be short between men. And if you are tall he might be very tall compared to men around him. This person's physical appearance might be so liked or desired by people. Or there's something sensual about him. Or he is sexually appealing.

His financial state

I see that this person's family or your future family in law financial state is very good. They might own multiple houses or multiple what do we call it? Mmmm lands? Like not estates I'm not seeing this, you see when we go and buy a piece of land? So we can resell it or use it to build something on it? This person's family have this and he might have inherited from his family. I see that his job or career requires him to travel, he might work in the court or justice. He might work in a lawyer office or he is a lawyer himself. And this job give him lots and lots of money. His financial state is sooo good. He never really faced a rough patch regarding finances. When he was young, he never really had to deal with poverty or anything like that no.

So, when will he enter your life?

I see 3 months and 5 weeks from now. This person might watch you or observe you from afar. He is so sneaky. He might push one of his friends to introduce you to him. I see a social event okay. And you are mingling and chatting with people and friends. So, he use this and come to you. And then this is how it is going to happen. This person might enter your life in June, July or he might be born in those months or his birthday on the 6th or 7th of the month (any month).

Possible placements

Taurus, Aries, Capricorn, cancer. Venus, Mars, Uranus as dominant planets in their chart. Or 2nd, 1st, 10th, 4th house stallium or his sun or big 6 in these houses.

Pile 3 - Wounded love

Your current energy

Okay, this pile’s current energy is so happy and giddy to be honest. I see that this pile are finally releasing an old relationship and healing from it. I see that you are feeling more confident and proud because you finally realized your own worth (as you should baby💋). I see that this pile are dating someone or already getting to know someone romantically. I see that this pile were single, got disappointed by someone and then they healed and now they are moving on. This pile is moving on to a better version of themselves and above all more confident. I see that right now you are discovering or seeing how many romantic options you have. I see also that you are helping someone to prepare a birthday party. I feel like this party is for a boy, young boy to be specific. And if it is not a birthday party then you are planning a wedding and helping the family with preparations. I see that you are so excited too. So maybe the person you are going to date or crushing on is going to come to the party and you are so excited and nervous. I see that this pile are coming out of the hermit mode. After a long time of healing and solitude. Anyways, I see that you are finally enjoying the present moment. You are happy of how things are. You might be someone who used to link their happiness to something/person or anything and if that thing is not around you get depressed. But now you finally detached. And got stronger and more resilient. The cards are very joyful; sooo enjoy pile 3. The dominant placements on this pile are fire placements (Aries, Leo and sagittarius) and water placements (Cancer, Scorpio and pisces) I see that you might have your sun or moon in the 1st, 5th, 9th, 4th,8th,12th house. You might also be sun, moon and mars dominant too. So, take what resonates.

Who is your future spouse (personality)

First thing I'm picking up on I someone very strategic. Someone very witty and smart. I guess this person is someone you dreamed of (you saw in your dreams) or subconsciously you manifested those traits. This person is so hot and sexy. I see that his aura is very sexual. Like people can't really resist how charming and sexy he is. I see that person is very blunt and if not blunt then he might be very honest. Like he is very straightforward. What is on his mind is going to be told to you with no filter. I see that this person is very sure of themselves. They are very confident and rigid. This person is very generous or his energy or his appearance is very big. I feel like he is the type of person that when he enter a place all eyes are on him. He is a seducer and he is not ashamed of that. I see that this person have all the tools and he know how to use them. Not to mention that this man is soo dominant. I see alot of masculinity. His voice, there's something about his voice that make him stand out. I see that this person is hard on the edge but very soft and sweet inside. I'm not sure if you are into Japanese anime or not but he might be a tsundere; which means someone who displays hard mask but inside they are a softy. I don't know why Christian grey came out all of sudden. I think this person have Christian Grey's energy. Dominant and horny. This person is very much like that. You see those dilfs who are irresistible? He have their energy. This person was very controlling before. I see that controlling thing didn't really help him or it drove people away from him so he is now trying to change this habit. This person, really knows how to manipulate things to his advantages. I see that he knows exactly when to shoot his shot and when to hold back. I see also that this person was either an alcohol addict or someone with destructive behaviors. And if not so, I see that this person might have anger issues. Also aggressive, I don't know why this aggressiveness came through but this person is kinda rude and aggressive to people whom he don't like. This person is very swift, he have hot temper. If you are not comfortable with someone like this then you can chose another pile. But I see that you are a sunshine and this person is the grumpy baby who feel weak in front of his sunshine 🌞. I see that this person usually look grumpy, but when they see you they change 180° and become that cute tamed cat.

His appearance

This person is taller that the average. Very sporty. He worked soooo hard on his body. I see that when they stand or enter a room they easily draw attention towards them. I see brown or tan skin. This person is tanny. Anyways, this person is so sexy omg. And his... Ahem is very large or big. I see that this person is dirty blonde or have a very light brown hair or he dye his hair in that color. I see also curly hair, and wavy. Might be afro too. This person knows how to dress well and he have a very magnetic aura. Sexy is coming through again. I see that you might be so picky with your taste in men. Like no one easily is liked by you. But when this person enters your life, he will be everything you dreamed and prayed for. Glasses, I see he wear glasses. He is like a sexy nerd if you understand what I mean. The eye color range from brown, grey, hazel. But mostly brown. This person's shoulders are wide. Very wide compared to the rest of his body. Also I see someone mascular. He is lean and mascular. I see that his face shape is triangle, he have pointy chin. The voice as I mentioned above. His voice is very demanding. Scary, it can send shivers down your spine. I see that he scares many people and he got told that many times. So, good luck with being able to face all of that.

His financial state

This person have a job but it doesn't really pay that much. I see he have money, average wage what I'm getting. I don't see someone rich, no. I see someone who is average. After his first saturn return he will earn more money. His job might require him to deal with children. To be a role model for children. So he might be pediatrician, or a teacher or a children mentor. I see that he is very good at dealing with babies and kids. He loves them. I see that this person work with a woman or under the supervision of a woman. And she pay for him. This person is in the education system. He is educated, have higher education. And he is now a new member in the organization he work in. He still struggles a little with money. But I think when you meet him, he will be in a better place. That's what I'm seeing. They are telling me that he is still a page; which means he is a fresh teacher or a new member in his job.

When will he enter your life?

I see 7 months and three weeks. I see also that you might know who this person is. You might be dating someone right now and if yes then this person is your spouse. I'm not seeing any Ex here. You might know this person because of someone, an older man introduced you to them. And if not then you may intuitively know who your future spouse is. Also, if nothing from the cases I mentioned apply to your case. Then, you might intuitively know this person but your head (ego, rational thoughts) is telling you otherwise about it. I feel like you can't accept the fact that someone like this is your spouse. There's an advice to this pile; believe in your intuition. That person is your spouse stop ignoring it.

Possible placements for him

Air placements (Gemini, Libra and Aquarius). Sagittarius, Capricorn. Jupiter, Pluto, Mercury dominant, Air dominant. Stallium in the 3rd, 11th,7th house. A little bit of pisces. Or 12th house stallium.

Pile 4 - the gifted lady

Your current energy

So, I'm picking up on a male and this male (doesn't have to be) or a person is from 20 to 35 (This age range) is either love bombing you. Or pursuing you continously. I see that you are kind of anxious or blinded whether this person is serious or not. I see that this person is smart. He could be a sagittarius, or Aquarius. I see that this person feel that you are easy to get or you are in love with him that any action he does will woo you. What you feel about him is happiness, you enjoy this person's company and you truly like them I see that you are very daring when you are with them. Or this person make you feel like you have infinite possibilities. I see also that this person knows that you love him that's why I got this energy of surrender from you. You might like this person or even in love with them but you feel like they are distant. And you can't truly understand why are those things happen to you. If this is not the case, then the second energy I'm picking up on is that someone is coming in with a love offer to you. This person is emotionally unavailable so please don't bother to build something with them. I see that this person's main motive is sex. If you are expecting to hear from this person; they will text or call you soon. They will offer you two to meet up and you know (hook together). I'm not really sure if you want to be with this person but nothing really will come from them. Nothing serious. I see that you are not seeing things clearly. This person, might come and present himself as someone good and fun to be around but he is a fuckboy so don't give him anything to fuck. Or if you want to then it is on you 🙃. Also I see that many of you know the motive of this person but are paralyzed by their emotions or how they feel towards this person. Please honey leave that dusty to his momma. You need your spouse not this. Anyways, I see that this pile is considering to travel soon, I see a trip after 2 or 3 weeks, days or even months. The dominant energy on this pile are fire placements (Leo, Aries or sagittarius) and air placements (Gemini, Libra and Aquarius).

Who is your future spouse (personality)

I see someone who is very sensitive. Someone who is really shy and dreamy? I'm picking up on a piscesian energy to be honest. This person can detach and leave any situation easily. I also see that this person have a unique perspective on life. He might be someone who is drawn to spirituality and if not then dark science. Like tarot, astrology, magic, occult, Satanism or anything that is considered taboo in your country, this is a general reading so take what resonates. This person is very spiritual too. I see that this person is carefree and can influence anyone easily. You see those people who are cult leaders? I see someone (your spouse) who can change anyone's perspective about the subject he is interested in. Let's say that you think magic is harmful okay? This person have the ability to convince you that magic is not really that harmful. What I'm picking up on also is that this person is very good at persuasion. He knows how to win any argument. This person is very responsible despite his dreamy nature. I'm also seeing that this person is very fair. He doesn’t manipulate people at all. I see someone who is isolated or you know a lone wolf. A classic ISTP or ISFP; since this person is not so rational or you know not ruled by their head or brain. This person is balanced, or when you meet him; he will balance out all the areas in his life. I see also that this person is currently collecting money or working very hard. I see that when you meet him, he will be already lunching a project that is related to his career. This person is smart too. And if not then wise beyond his age. Idk why I'm picking up on mercury in pisces. He might have this placement. I see that this person is not so extrovert, you can say he is selectively extrovert. He got to chose who he spend time with, very selective regarding people.

His physical appearance

Well, first thing I'm picking up on is that this person look exactly like one of his family members. He might have a twin or look like his father or grandpa. I see also that this person will have great chemistry with you too. I'm picking up on green and hazel eyes, round face or chubby face, someone who is blonde, brown or his hair color is caramel. This person is very sexy and active. He might not be mascular but still he goes to the gym and do the things that most gym bros do (channeling his frustration into working out). This person's face is very baby like or he have baby face or he look younger than his age. You see those people who you think are in their 20s but they are in like their 30s? This person have this thing. Also this person have a sunny aura. Or a golden retriever energy. Another thing is this person undertone is very fair; almost pale. And if not he have medium or tan skin color. He look boyish or childish. Hmmm, I'm not sure if this apply to everyone but this person physically is sexy or hot I mean his body but his face is very boyish or cute. He might have a light beard too. I don't know why but his ears might be pointy? Yeah I'm picking up on a pointy ears too. His hair is wavy or straight. This person's height is between medium to tall, mostly between 5'9 to 5'11 (175 to 180). His smile is very prominent. And yeah guys I think the smell? He use trendy perfumes. Or if not his perfume could be so special it lingers in you thoughts.

His financial state

This person work as a soldier and if not then his effort got used in return to a very low wage. I'm not saying that he is now broke but he was broke before. I see that someone hired him and used his time and energy to underpaid him. You see those people who work in malls? As cashiers or even clean the floor? This person endured that job and got nothing in return. And then I see that one day he met a man and that man helped your spouse to get a better job and even better payment. I see that your spouse struggled a lot financially. His family perhaps wasn't really that supportive of him so he had to work and earn the money. Now I see that your spouse in a better place financially, there's no more debts on his shoulder. And honestly I see that he possibly might have worked multiple jobs just to earn money and support himself. I see why in the beginning of this reading I felt like he is paralyzed and stuck! Because his financial state literally traumatized him.

When will he enter your life?

10 weeks from now, the cards are telling me that this person will enter your life all of sudden. Or if not then there's something traumatic that is going to happen to you and at that time your spouse will be there. He might enter your life after you broke up with someone or if you're not dating anyone then you might witness a divorce of someone around you. Capricorn season is prominent here. So, this person might enter your life via a woman who is a Capricorn or have earth placements. I see also that you might intuitively know that this is your spouse. Or you might be having a spiritual awakening at the time he enters your life.

Possible placements

Libra, Cancer, Pisces, Aquarius, earth signs (Capricorn, virgo and taurus). Moon, neptune, Saturn dominant in their chart or he have sun or moon or his big six in the 7th, 4th, 12th, 11th house.

Post date: 7th/Sep/2024-Sat

*Feedback is appreciated

[hup123hup123slapslap]

So a thought has been kicking around my head for a bit...what if Helio knew exactly what he was signing up for by making Kristen his chosen one?

It has always struck me as odd that when describing Doreen in Helioic heaven, Brennan mentioned her flirting with men and women. It also strikes me as odd that Kristen never got any pushback from Helio about turning her back on him. Even if he was similarly 'out of the picture' like sol was while Arthur was wrecking havoc, Kristen's powers should have faded when she fully committed to not worshipping him. You need to worship a god to get powers, and this is emphasized heavily in the latest episode. Kristen worshipping the vague idea of religion but Definitely Not Helio just doesn't cut it. Sure, taking away a PCs powers wasn't really in the cards in season one, but Brennan works very well and very caringly with what he has to establish as canon.

Kristen was looking for a reason to drop Helio from the get-go. His frat boy appearance and non-answer to a nearly impossible question didn't truly matter at the core of her feelings. She wanted an out from the prison she was trapped in with the Helioic faith, even if she didn't realize it fully. She had tension with her mom and her ideals from the scene one! She wanted to connect with people the church actively shunned. Helio was never the true problem.

Now, gods are shaped by their worshippers. So on some level Helio is shaped by people with shitty ideals. But there's still a foothold of good, especially if there are out and proud gays in heaven. Especially if Kristen Applebees of all people is the chosen one.

When you have worshippers misinterpreting your whole deal, going with Sol's shitty messaging and transferring it onto you and using it for bad things, what can you do as a god? Because you ARE what they say you are. So how can you fight back?

Well. You make your chosen one someone that embodies your true heart. Someone that can actually turn the tides of your worship.

There is an emphasis on tracker reinventing and revitalizing her religion. Changing it for the better. Taking the old and not tossing it out, but making it better.

Isn't that what Kristen struggles with the most? That's what she needs to learn how to do.

Tracker also established that she can worship multiple gods when she helped with Yes?. Kristen doesn't need to settle for one even if she (fingers crossed) brings Kassandra back.

Because the season opened with the slow apocalypse of endless night. Endless daytime would end similarly. There has to be a balance. They are two sides of the same coin. Day and night. The surety of the sun and the doubt of the shadows.

Kristen wants both. And she can fucking have it if she decides to.

Ally once said they appreciate that the enemy is always the church. Organized religion. Kristen is perfect for disorganized religion though. Chill frat boy vibes and anxious doubts and the ultimate message of 'just do your best'.

I think religious trauma is a compelling, close to the heart topic for a lot of people. And some turn away from religion entirely and wash their hands of it. But some people don't. Kristen is a cleric. She can't. She wants a god, she wants answers, and she just can't find them in the established community she was raised in. That doesn't mean the core of her religion was wrong. The church was. So you take the religion and you harness it in a way that means something to you.

Maybe Kristen being desperate enough to invite Helio back into her life is what this has all been leading to.

She can remake a god. She's done it before. Because Kassandra was good at the core. Maybe Helio can be too.

[psychicreadsgirl]

Pick a Dish: Your Relationship Dynamics with your next S/O

Pick the picture that draws you most. If you can't decide between 2, then look at the 2 readings. Remember, this is a general reading so take what resonates and leave what doesn't behind.

#1

Very relaxed, kind of lazy. Stay at home dates - a lot of Netflix and chill vibes. Almost literal couch potatoes at times.

You two will feel comfortable with each other really fast. You two won't be scared of sharing your "bad" sides like farting in front of the other or telling them how bad your arm pits smell etc. You also will feel comfortable wearing just casual stuff or PJS or home clothes with them. You won't really feel the need to put on makeup or dress up much for your S/O.

You two will feel like good friends, in fact, almost like best friends. You two will either be very clingy towards each other or will lead very independent/almost separate lives, mostly bc of your work/school or some other uncontrollable situation.

You will both help out each other and listen to one another. There's a lot of positive energy between you two. And a LOT of lazy chill energy - which is fine too. Just be careful of your health - still important to exercise and eat healthy.

Some people may feel like you two are like those super old married couples, but you both feel that's ok.

For some there may be a long distance relationship for you two or it will become one after dating.

#2

You both like to keep things fresh and spicy. Expect lots of surprises and fun. I see both of you travelling a lot together and you might even be the couple that quits their jobs and becomes vloggers or quits their jobs to start some other biz etc. Somehow being together leads you two to create something together, whether it be a career/organization/a place/other friendship maybe. There's some "expansion" or creation aspect to this union.

You will find each other to be very funny and will enjoy spending time with each other. You will have endless of things to talk about--likely one of you will be more chatty and the other just more quiet.

You two don't seem to place that much emphasis on material things in life. You enjoy doing activities together -- not necessarily the fact that you two went to some "fancy" restaurant. You both don't really care about luxury goods or brand names. You both would rather spend money on more practical things or entertainment like travel, movies, vacations, etc.

For some of you you might be polar opposites with the other person so inevitably there may be times where you two will definitely butt heads. However you two will make up usually by some physical touch or sex.

#3

There'll be some traditional undertones to this relationship. Perhaps both of you come from very strict families or one of you does or maybe you/they/both have traditional values. Maybe you two were set up by your parents.

There's going to be some element of cultural significance/foreign element too. Perhaps you both enjoy different cultures' foods. Maybe one of you comes from a multicultural family or has lived abroad in many different places. Maybe one of you is fluent in multiple languages or has many different friends abroad. Maybe you guys even are from 2 different countries.

Oddly there's a mix of non-traditional/traditional elements to this relationship. Sometimes that might make for a very interesting dynamic/relationship. Sometimes it might lead to conflict/disagreements because there are 2 different, sometimes opposite views in play.

There's likely going to be someone's parent that disapproves of this relationship for some reason.

I don't see this relationship as one that's particularly easy, in the sense that there are a lot of factors that are out of your control, which try to break you two apart or cause you two conflict. Whether you and your s/o will be able to work with each other to overcome those will be up to both of your efforts in the relationship.

This relationship will also be a meeting of equals, so you both will be quite "equal" in the sense that there won't be a power imbalance. You both could be equally smart or equally foolish. You both could make similar amounts of money too.

#4

This will be a rather chaotic yet dynamic pairing. Somehow there'll be a lot of gossip/news or something related to your relationship. Perhaps this is some office romance that's a bit judged on (i.e. you are dating your boss) or maybe you two seem like such an unlikely pair that people kind of just assume the worst about you two.

I see a strong physical attraction. Sometimes it might even seem like that physical attraction triumphs other parts of the relationship. There will be a lot of physical touch and bedroom activities. If you've never had your 1st sexual experience, then your s/o will likely be the more experienced one. It's not to say that they have fooled around with tons of people out there, but they will have had more dating experience than you.

It feels like one party will be more mature/experienced, while the other seems to be more naive/innocent/inexperienced. There may also be an age gap at play and this age gap can be quite big. Possibly for some of you, this will be the relationship after you've ended a long term relationship or marriage. Possibly for others, your s/o might have been previously engaged or married. Your s/o might even have married more than once before.

This relationship may also have a bit of like..parental feeling? Getting the sense that 1 of you might suffer from issues related to your parents and somehow your s/o kind of takes on the role of a parent that you didn't have. Some people might feel like your s/o is like your nanny sometimes or butler? One of you will definitely be the one that does a lot of acts of service.

#5

There's a very youthful feeling about this relationship. It might even be the 1st relationship that you'll ever have. There's that puppy love/1st love feeling. If it's not the 1st relationship, then it might be that rare serious relationship that you have.

There are very deep feelings within this relationship from both sides - more emotional than physical. Not to say that physical affection doesn't exist here, but you two will feel very emotionally connected with each other. You might even feel like they don't even need to talk to you and they get how you feel and vice versa. I don't see that a lot of communication is needed between you two. Somehow one look or some behaviour will just let you or your s/o know what's going on.

There can be some feelings of possessiveness/obsession with this relationship. 1 of you or both will be rather possessive. That can be bad or can be fine, depending on how it plays out. The possessiveness can sometimes turn into deep obsession/jealousy, which would not be great.

You might feel in this relationship that without your s/o you are incomplete. You feel like your s/o truly understands you. It's possible that 1 of you have had a traumatic childhood/past or both of you have and you two bond because of this. Or one of you will be very empathetic and understanding or somehow maybe even have an occupation as a therapist/healer/doctor that can help your s/o.

#6

Wow there's something really forbidden about this relationship. You or your s/o might both be already in relationships or even in a marriage but somehow you two are very drawn to each other. The lust/attraction is irresistible and even if you or both are already in relationships, you both will still date. Another possibility is that you two are dating when you're not supposed to be like the school/company won't let employees date or you're dating your best friend's ex partner. Or you two come from 2 different religions/ethnicity that traditionally have hated each other. Other possibilities in rare cases could be like incest or bordering incest (i.e. you are in love with your step sibling who doesn't have any blood relations with you or you are in love with your cousin etc). In other rare cases, you may be dating a well-known public figure secretly.

There's a lot of intensity with this relationship. The physical affection/passion is definitely there. There may be like a lot of angst too or suppressed feelings or you know in movies etc where there's a lot of sexual tension but then someone comes and interrupts and so the sexual tension has to be cut short? Something like that.

This relationship while intense may end rather abruptly or have many make ups and break ups. Somehow you both continue to be drawn to each other.

For some there may be some toxic stuff in this relationship - I see a lot of arguments and shouting and then shortly after there'd be intense makeup sex or kissing. A lot of times the physical side of the relationship will dominate everything else, which isn't so good, because the problems of this relationship don't go away.

For this relationship to work, both will need to recognize the issues and want to change and also realize that communication is very important. For some, this relationship will inevitably end for various reasons.

Because of the forbidden element to this relationship, inevitably there can be many misunderstandings and complications.

This relationship, however, will be one that you will definitely always remember - probably the one most dear to you.

[jupitermoontarot24]

18+ 👄 Their Current Sexual Thoughts 🫦

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Piles 1-5

Pile 1 👄

Your person's sexual fantasies currently could be to discover different sides of you. this person could have known you for a long time so they've seen you in different elements but I .think they want to see this sexually. it could be a big emphasis on how you smell. so they might want to see how you smell on a daytime date versus a nighttime date versus a second date and on and on. yeah you smell really good to this person or at least they imagine you to smell really good. they would collect your perfume if they could. like they definitely want your body bottled up .I don't think this person's sexual fantasies are too crazy. I think they really genuinely like you and they don't over sexualize you because of this. it's like almost a best friend type of vibe but of course they're in love with you. but they have a lot of respect for you so when they fantasize about you it's not about your body, it's more about your essence and your smile, the way you smell the way you dress, the way you walk into the room. they think about you a lot at work, especially when they drink they think about you heavily. I think they really fantasize the most about going on different dates with you. like how you would dress on these different dates, how you would wear your hair and style your makeup stuff like that. They actually could be asking for advice; they could be talking to different people about what they should do. they probably shown your pictures to their friends or their family. they're very fond of you and they love to show you off but I think that they're so in love with you that it kind of makes them shy a little bit. They love you a lot pile one this is beyond a crush you are the love of this person's life. I think they fantasize about running into you at a party or at a club and you guys going home together off the spur of the moment. I think this person fantasize about having sex that transmutes time and energy. they could already have sex with you in the 5D if you allow it. but it's something really magical about the sex that you guys will have at least that's what they think about. it's very nourishing on a soul level. but they really just fantasize about slow sensual groundbreaking sex. even if it does get rough it's still very loving and reassuring. This person could also have a breeding King but for you so they  fantasize about getting you pregnant like 100%. or just having a child with you but you guys mixing your DNA together and become parents. and then providing for you they're coming up as a king of Pentacles so they actually do want to like be a father/mother and actually provide financially. yeah they want to have baby with you bad. I feel like they feel as tho a baby with you it's not just for control but I think they would feel like outside sources would be cut off. like nobody will be able to tell them how to navigate this relationship with you because now you guys have a baby together so only you guys can make the decisions because now you're a family and it's different than you just being two single people trying to navigate a relationship. yeah that's their sexual fantasies. 

Pile 2 💙

This person's current sexual fantasies is having angry sex? or make up sex? so like maybe you guys have not been seeing eye to eye so when you get together you guys sex out the anger and then it turns to make up sex. It may even get emotional to some degree is what they fantasize about. Yeah this person could have done something that pissed you off. but they still are so attracted to you they still think that you guys make a really good couple and that you guys are good together but right now it's something that is not matching up. Whatever this is is really weighing down on this person. this person is not taking this lightly at all; they might even have cried about it. I feel like they will definitely cry during the sex as well are or they fantasize about crying during sex or before. this person is really emotional about you. they love you and I think that maybe you're on the the brink of leaving or breaking up and maybe they feel like there's stuff that they didn't get to tell you or stuff they didn't get to show you before this ended something like that. You might have a lot of suitors or just somebody else that you like and this person is afraid that you're breaking up with them and you're going to go to somebody else. so their current sexual fantasy is to have a conversation and talk about it and that leads to sex very passionate love making. If you do have another person this person might even agree to being a side piece? or you having both suitors, like they'll agree to sharing you if that's what it takes.  they really don't want to lose you. This person is really sad right now I'm not going to lie to you. but I think they do fantasize about seeing you bath or your body being wet fresh out the shower. they definitely want to drink with you smoke with you, have dinner with you and have this conversation and then get really nasty in the bedroom. yeah they want you to pack a spend the night bag and stay with them and they just dominate you. they want to be tied to you in some type of way. This person is not going to let you go, they love you too much, they love you too deeply so whatever they got to do they're just going to do it. it's not really sexual because I feel like their emotions are overpowering the sexual nature of this but they definitely do want to have sex with you. they do want to make love with you and I feel like even the sex is going to be very emotional. you guys are going to cry, laugh, smile just bear it all. so that's their current sexual fantasies for you. If this is same sex and you're into both sexes say if you have a boyfriend this person wants to be your girlfriend lol.

Pile 3 💗

This person's current sexual fantasies is to call you up and ask you why you been wilding out on social media. I don't know if you've been trolling or you just been saying things online but this person has been watching you very much so. I think it's been turning them on not going to lie but what's turning them on even more is them confronting you about it. so you know those memes  when people text their partner and they be like take that down off of social media this is what this person is giving. I just heard you acting too single so maybe this person feels like you doing too much or you going off like you single and you're not. even if you are lol this person wants you to dial it back a little bit but not really. it's like it turns this person on but at the same time it makes them angry so yeah. It's something about you like you could pose differently every day or it's just something to where you morph into different versions of yourself and they love watching that.  I think they really want to hear how you're going to respond to them. That's what's really turning them on.  hearing what you're going to say to explain yourself, the explanations you're going to give and the excuses to get out of it. There could be a age difference here. cuz it almost gives me like having to call your parents and tell them why you got suspended or something. this person is really turned on though. it's like they like the fact that you've been a bad girl / boy so they can take it out on you and belike“yeah what's all that stuff that you was saying?” .You guys could be playing this game of cat and dog and I feel like I just said that in my previous reading about somebody and their soulmate. it might have even been pile 3 honestly.  there's this Chase like you've been running from this person and they've been chasing you so hard and it's like they're not going to stop. it's almost addicting alluring like they can't stop even if they try like this siren energy. This person their sexual fantasies right now is to catch you and make you perform for them. they feel like you've been performing and acting on social media so they want to see that in person. they want you to back up all that you've been talking if you know what I mean. it's like if you've been acting really sexual online that's what they want and not even sexually vulgar but just if you've been teasing them online or just teasing at all that's what they want to see, but in a very intimate way. like they want it to be special and natural and forthcoming.  not forced or rough or anything like that they just want you guys to be happy around each other and be your true self. so if you like to sing they want you to sing for them they want you to dance for them if that's what you've been hinting at like maybe if you put a lot of songs on your social media they want you to sing these songs to them and dance to these songs for them. Yeah this person feels like you've been putting them off, you've been dissing them a little bit and they're going to pop up. I'm not sure in what way but this person is going to pop up on you and in a way you least expect it. 

Tyla - Breathe Me (Official Music Video)

J'calm - Call My Name (fficial Video)

Pile 4 💌

Your person's current sexual fantasies could be to stare at you in the face. you're very beautiful this person just likes the structure of your face. like with makeup without makeup you just have a very appeasing face.  I feel like it doesn't even matter what you wear whether you're dressed up, dressed down, like a tomboy, very feminine you're just so gorgeous. you're Aura is crazy.This person's sexual fantasy could be to hear you sing, they might feel like you can sing very well or dance very well. Okay so this person feels like your face card does not decline that might scare them a little bit. You can get anything from them and they cant even say no if they tried. This person sexual fantasy might be to spend money on you in order to keep you around. Yes  this person feels like you are so attractive that you could just easily go meet anybody else and they could do anything for you. so this person spends money on you even though they know that you might have other suitors. so you might have other ppl spending money on you and they're okay with that. it's like they might feel some type of way about it but they're still going to pursue you and still spend money on you because they don't want to be out the loop.Yeah I find this does make this person kind of intimated but they only show this by spending more time with you and money at least that's what their sexual fantasy is. honestly as I'm going through these different piles it seems like these are real life situations and not even fantasies anymore lol. if you go through moments of not talking to this person, you might block this person or just ignore them for a while they could feel like you're talking to other people you're going to see other people.  this person feels like you definitely have the World in Your Hands and you probably spin it when you are not around them. Yeah it's like they know that if they really left that you wouldn't care and you could just get somebody else and that kind of turns them on at the same time. it's like fomo like they have a fear of missing out so they don't really want to leave but they know that you're not going to be a Simp over them. So I think the current sexual fantasy is to continue to simp over you but in the end game they want you to be possessive over them eventually. like that's what they're manifesting that one day you'll become a queen of cups for them and you want them around guarding you to make sure that you don't be with nobody else or nobody else approaches you but honestly I don't think that will happen.Like I don't think that they want to switch roles necessarily I think their sexual fantasy is that in the end that you'll just choose them and that you guys will be happy.

DDG - Trickin' [Official Video]

Ann Marie - The One [Official Music Video]

Pile 5 🤍

So for you I think this person wants to have fun with you. they could want to have a conversation And tell you how they really feel. They really like your eyes and could fantasize about staring into them. Maybe while you give them oral or vice versa. this person might actually want to have children with you Or at least they fantasize about it. There might be a third party situation. it doesn't have to be a relationship but it could be.  this person could be a mother or they could just have responsibilities that make them more prone to being like a housewife or a mommy/daddy.  they might have to be in the house more, they might have to do chores, stuff like that so this person definitely could be somebody's parents. So you might only be able to see this person at night or at least that's their current fantasy is that you would pull up at night because during the day they might be dealing with their ex spouse or their children. If you DMed this person. They fantasize about DMing you back or they're going to DM you soon. I think you love this person and they love you too. I think this person thinks about the future with you. Tbh you might be thinking about right now and just getting with them but they daydream about how it would be to live with you or to have kids with you? or how you would be as a parent. Yeah this is somebody who definitely got hurt by their ex. their last relationship didn't end well. Their ex could have already moved on for some people. or they could have cheated, they could be seeing other people. I think they have some type of tie with them so they might have children with this person because there's something that keeps them tied together but whatever it is it makes your person angry. So this person's sexual fantasies is to escape to you. so they might live with this person or have a child with this person so they interact with them a lot but their sexual fantasies is to be with you instead. I think this person Daydreams a lot about you like your this person escape in their daily life. I think even if this person does get intimate with their ex they think about you during or after the sex they think about what it would have been like to have sex with you instead. while they're kissing on your person they can think about you or how you will look with your clothes off.  they lowkey get aroused by thinking of you. This person could be a Pisces. they don't have to be but they're really good at escaping in their mind. so while this person is kissing on them they could be thinking about you, while this person is having sex with them they can be thinking about you. and it's like almost like they are in their mind? This person's third eye is so strong that they can really disassociate mentally out of the sex. Tbh the only reason this person might have sex with them is because they're not having sex with you or to imagine you instead.  yeah I feel like this person only has sex with their partner when they can't take it anymore. so they might masturbate a lot to you but once  that doesn't satisfy them anymore they have sex with their partner and just think about you and it feels like they're having sex with you. Or maybe sometimes when this person is on good terms with their ex they submit to it but they still think about you either way.

Lola Brooke - No One Else (Official Video) ft. Jeremih

CENTRAL CEE X RAYE - MOI (MUSIC VIDEO)

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[wesstars]

love, at second glance

tara carpenter x fem!reader (no pronouns)

summary: that’s what you do when you love somebody else… wc: 1k tags: all characters 18+; no ghostface au. angst, horribly excessive use of italics (seriously, everything in italics is either a quote, a thought, or actual emphasis. it’s terrible) a/n: what’s up y’all (title from 715 - CR∑∑KS by bon iver)

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Tara wondered when it all began.

You and me, me and you.

A mantra that used to be comforting, it now left her mouth dry, mind frantic. 

Sometimes, when it got real bad like it did today, she’d drive out to your—our—deserted garage, and look up into a pitch black night, blinking away tears. It was easy to scream at the sky: how could you forget about me about us about milkshakes shared about distances closed about how I love you and love you and love you—but to you, she’d say nothing.

She couldn’t say anything, while you basked in the glow of a new hand to hold. It was all over in a helpless shrug. That was it, and really, it wasn’t your fault. Nobody’s fault. You couldn’t help it, Tara reasoned, you weren’t cruel. Even at the very end, you were endlessly kind. Commitment was a choice, but love, love happened to you away from Tara and she couldn’t do anything but watch.

Tara switched the engine off, leaning back in her seat. The stars shone barely brighter than the city lights. It was strange, the way that when she was on the brink of losing everything, the world looked that much more beautiful. Every breath in that particularly cold winter felt like it was being swallowed up by the vastness of air itself, precious in its scarcity. 

“But I love you.”

You said nothing for a moment, a troubled little frown twisting on your lips. “Tara, I—”

“I love you.” She heard, rather than felt, herself repeating it. As if stopping you from speaking would make that cold reality any less crushing. “That’s all.”

It was odd, Tara decided, to go online and see your life in the pictures she used to be part of. She put her phone down. From tide pulls to seasons changing, there wasn’t exactly a world where she envisioned herself going on without you. There was something in that sinking feeling, like you were holding her down with a hand on her chest, when she saw you laughing with your friends, with anyone, a smile so brilliant it couldn’t possibly have Tara as the cause. 

You’d always wanted a little cabin in the woods (“not in a creepy way,” you’d insist) surrounded by mist, and it would always be raining. “You’re the only sunshine I need, Tara Carpenter.” She could still hear the way you’d tease her, lying on your side next to her, tracing the bridge of her nose with your fingertip. So easy it was, to tumble back into those shining memories where absolutely nothing would go wrong, you wouldn't let it, because she was yours.

The top floor of the lot was empty, and the moon spilled onto the windshield, into the empty passenger seat. She was lucky, you both were lucky, to have even come as close to the sun as the two of you did. Tara knew, deep inside herself, that if she just let it all go, she would be okay. The blood would rush back into her fingertips—you wouldn’t be there to massage the feeling back into them, the way you often did on winter nights like this—and then she would be okay.

Tara thought that she remembered too much for someone so hurt. Your hand on her thigh while you drove, wiping her lipstick off your cheek, the way you seemed so so so unhappy when you sat her down for one last time. You didn’t even look the same then, like you were somebody else, you weren’t hers anymore. It was getting colder in the car, but Tara didn’t feel anything but the searing coil of shame. 

Sunkissed March found you and Tara lying side by side on a picnic blanket, sodas losing their fizz as time forgot to move the two of you. A breeze ruffled the leaves, and if she really listened, Tara could hear the frogs in the nearby pond. You loved it here—you said it reminded you of hot summers spent in the countryside, the days as long as wildflowers. Not half an hour ago, you were braiding together the stems of daisies into a lush crown. 

“For you, Queen Carpenter,” you said in a posh accent. “A gift from your humble knight—each braid represents a ‘forever,’ and each flower is an ‘always.’” You set the crown atop Tara’s head, kissing the tip of her nose as she rolled her eyes.

“And what has compelled my knight to bring me such a gift?”

“Only all of the love I carry for you, your majesty.” You scooped her up in your arms, smiling as she giggled, rolling the two of you over to settle into the knolls of grass.

There was a certain bravery in the way your fingers wrapped loosely around hers, the way the heels of both your shoes made indents in the dirt—proclaiming, we were here. Even in her doze, Tara could feel you there, each moment stretching on like strings of eternity, unfailingly. 

The moment did end, as moments do. The crown, dried and shrunk, still hung from the rear view mirror in the car. The daisies themselves were long gone, but the dried stems had somehow stayed bound together. Tara’s head dropped into her hands, eyes sore and red. She’d thought so much and so often about where the two of you went wrong, she felt like she had turned over every stone in your path, ones that didn’t carry with them the weight of a goodbye. Tara would give anything to even know what it would take for you to stand in the sun with her one more time.

The abrupt knock on the window should’ve startled Tara more than it did, given that it was four in the morning in an empty parking lot, and she was supposed to be all alone. But all she could do was watch with wide eyes as the knock came from you, at your tight lipped smile. She rolled down the window, unable to feel anything but shock as she took in your mismatched shoes with untied laces, your shirt way too thin for the cold night. You weren’t looking at her, guilt evident in the hunch of your shoulders. Your voice comes out exactly as she remembered it. 

“Hey… can we talk?”

--

a/n cont'd: don't super feel like i like this but writing it came naturally so

please do not repost, reproduce, copy, translate, or take from my work in any way. thank you!

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[gotham-daydreams]

Chapter 3 'Sneak Peak'/Teaser 2

This is more of a teaser above all else, and the only real 'sneak peak' part of it is just a small scene that happens in the chapter, but from a different POV. Regardless, I hop you enjoy this little look, and just like the last teaser- this is all a glimpse that won't really be shown in the final chapter when I post both parts. Though more emphasis on the "you won't really see this outside of this teaser" part.

Nevertheless, enjoy :]

-----

The moment you went into the diner, he took a moment longer to watch you walk inside before quickly realizing his phone was blowing up. So, reluctantly, he turned his intercom back on, and was swiftly met with a tidal wave of voices - most of which were shouting at him. Even if he couldn't blame them too much, that didn't make the experience any less annoying or loud. So, so loud.

He tried to explain himself and calm them down like he usually did, and it did kind of work - even if a few jabs and venomous words were thrown his way in the process. Again, he couldn't really blame them, but that didn't make things better. Not really, anyway. Their words hurt, sure, but hey, on the bright side - he was still with you. No matter what they said could change that, with a little bonus being that, deep down, you were the reason why all of them kept away too, and haven't interrupted your little get-together — since there was an untold but very present fear that he himself still felt when it came to you, and that being the possibility that you hated them. That anything they did now, would only worsen whatever image you already have of them, and if it was bad already - well, they’d have to work extra hard to repair things, wouldn't they?

It's not the potential work ahead that frightened them per say – more so the thought that they had pushed you so far away that you couldn't help but despise them. That you'd refuse to come back home and have them back into your life – refuse their effort and how they were now trying, even if it may have been a month or so too late – that you'd put an end to whatever they were hoping to have now, and refuse them at every turn simply out of spite and anger. Even if it made sense, and you have all the right to be mad, the thought and possibility didn't hurt any less. They didn't want you to hate them – no matter how reasonable that reaction would be – and most of all, they don't want to know that they've hurt you to such a point. He didn't, anyway, but he didn't want a lot of things when it came to you.

It's not that he didn't want to hear you out or be made aware of his faults - for crying out loud, he basically missed out on your entire life! Of course he's bound to have hurt you, and you're bound to be mad about it, he knew that even if he still didn't like the idea. If anything, a part of him did want to know so he knew where he had to really shine. So he knew what he really needed to get done and work on when it came to you, but that wasn't the point.

He never wanted to hurt you, never. None of them really did, but he especially – in his mind – didn't mean to. So, in a way, he was almost afraid to have to face that outcome.

It wasn't the anger he was afraid of, but the pain coupled with it, since he didn't know how bad it was - none of them did. Each of them only saw pieces, some more than others, and even if he stood here knowing that, he dreaded seeing the full weight of it.

There was more, he could feel it, and he hated that more than anything. He hated not knowing, but also feared what he'd find – even if there wasn’t much he could do about that. Despite himself and the feelings he and the rest of the family seemed to share, he knew that whatever they got – they deserved it. He already knew that this wouldn't exactly go smoothly, and despite it only being a few minutes – he could already feel it. The rockiness, the edge that seemed to hang in the air whenever you spoke, the unease you felt, and the nervousness coming from you was beyond evident.

Even if there was clearly a long way to go, he still couldn't help but… hope. Sure, it was wishful thinking, and honestly not very realistic, but he couldn't help himself. As much as it hurt looking at you, it made him soft, and untangled the most messy parts of himself. He couldn't explain why even if he tried, especially because he was only beginning to feel this now, but all he knew was that it felt… good, and made him regret not trying harder sooner.

He had a lot of regrets since he saw those things in your room and learned what he did, but as time passed and the night continued on, he found those regrets growing and becoming bigger. Though this wasn’t about him – of course it wasn’t, why would it be? – it was about you, they all knew that despite themselves, and all they wanted to do to make up for lost time.

Speaking of, the shouts never truly stopped. Sure, some died down and tried to get some information out of him, and even if he did say a few things here and there to give the impression that he was paying attention, most of what he learned he sort of… kept to himself. He just couldn’t help it. There was something so… special, so good that came with knowing more about you than the others. That came with being able to pick up on these little, small things about yourself that the others didn’t have the luxury of knowing just yet.

Maybe they’d learn eventually if things go smoothly, he knew that much, but at the moment he was more than willing to take in this rare moment and opportunity. The fleetingness of it only making it more enticing, and worthy of taking.

Yet, when one of them mentions you again, and asks how you’re doing – he can’t help but look back at you through the glass of the diner, but what he sees isn’t what he expects and he pauses.

You both hold your stares for a moment, and he ends up being the first to break it as he looks away, unable to take the sight any longer. He didn’t like that look in your eyes, the look you gave him – the look of untold worries and concerns that he knew dealt with him or were about him in some way. Granted, he couldn’t read your mind, but for a moment he wished he could. For that moment, he wishes he could take even the smallest peak into your thoughts just so that he knew what made you give him such a look. So that he knew what he could do to take away that conflict in your eyes and ease whatever worries you had – so that he could try to make things better.

He doesn’t know what he did wrong, but suddenly, just from that alone, he finds himself growing antsy. Even as he talks to the others over the comm link, he finds himself becoming subconscious of everything he’s done up until this point, trying to figure out what he did to make you wear such an expression. Even if it was just a little thing, he can’t help but worry over it, especially considering what he’s here to do. The voices of the family fall into the background with automatic, lame responses leaving him as he falls deeper and deeper into his own thoughts. He’s usually so confident and sure, but with you he’s a mess and is suddenly worrying over all of the little things he didn’t think of before. Did he act too soon? Should he have tried to be more patient? Sure he was worried at the time, but if this was the consequence of those actions then they weren’t worth it at all. God, he knew he should’ve been more-

Then, suddenly, you step out of the diner, and all is right with the world. His head empties, and without even thinking about it, he turns his comm link off once again.

It’s just as he thought earlier. You made him soft, and undid even the worst parts of himself.

With you, it’s like nothing else mattered, and that the past was far behind him.

Yet, he failed to realize that it was only that. A feeling and nothing more.

[wufflesvetinari]

ok fine, wyllstarion rec list

the demons bade me write this. i have a lot of Thoughts and Feelings and a fabulous bookmarks list. come with me....and you'll be.......in a world of pure wyllstarion nation

note that this is like. an intermediate/advanced, 201-level list. i am trusting you, and assume you've already read asidian's body of work. you've read nothing is safe. you're reading Nothing Like the Sun &etc. Really anything that appears on the first two pages when sorting by bookmarks/kudos is disqualified due to pre-recognized excellence. (you could, however, go read them again)

are you back? good. now read:

"We Happy Few" - @geometea. listen to me. listen. i am looking deeply into your eyes. read this fucking fic. it's hard to shill without spoiling anything, BUT: wyll is a still-pacted grand duke. he used to have a bunch of unresolved romantic tension with astarion and now hasn't spoken to him for 15 years. now take that premise and add body horror, beautiful ominous surreal images, and SURPRISE BIG EMOTIONS. just trust me on this one, guys

"Crossed Blades" - @rebelontherocks. this is a...i think i have to call this a cozy sex romp. wyll and astarion are married, wyll is a busy duke, astarion needs more enrichment, astarion invents a very silly sex game by roleplaying teenage-wyll's smut books. wyll is So Deeply Into It. i love this fic for its characterization, its banter, and its commitment to paralleling character psychology to what sounds like an absolutely wild in-universe smut series (that is sketched with an impressive amount of detail and care tbh??).

"Comfort" - @acephalouscreature. short and sweet. wyll is injured and everyone expects astarion to take care of him. luckily, astarion has a dastardly plan to fake feelings for wyll by thinking about his feelings for wyll. you sure fooled them, astarion!! also featuring: astarion trying to figure out how to comfort someone by thinking about horses

"False Compare" - @jellyfishline. i'd recommend checking out their work generally, but i fell in love with this one first. wyll writes a sonnet! astarion is mean about it until he isn't! deeply in-character with an emphasis on how each of them communicates affection. gorgeous prose

"how to escape the torment nexus" - @ushauz. this series is incredibly unique, set in a fucked-up bad end where wyll is a lemure, astarion is still on the run from cazador, and almost everyone else is dead. where this really shines imo is wyll's POV: he's been through literal hell, doesn't remember his life, and is wading through his unconscious attachment to astarion like a foreign language. (side note also read Heart of Stone for a great lae'zel character piece)

"An Acorn in the Moonlight" - @anonyhex. this is one of the first wyllstarion fics i ever read and it has a special place in my heart!! it's particularly cathartic to read for Wyll reasons, including him actually getting to Have Emotions about what Ulder put him through. and they are so sweet with each other!!

"temporal displacement" - @purplecatghostposts. ok this came out like. yesterday but listen, i LOVE outsider pov of an astarion who's learned to show affection somewhat, seen from the eyes of someone who doesn't know his history and has no reason to suspect All Of That. and when that "outsider" is a dying 20-year-old wyll who just saw astarion step out of a time portal. well.

"nothing to make a song about" - @grey-wardens. for when you want something meaty and casefic-adjacent, set in a post-canon where wyll is the blade and not the duke (for once). contains bonding on the road, getting romantically snowed in together, and Symbolic Fetch-Quests.

i am also watching closely: "One of Those Prince-Types" by @lesbianralzarek and "sigh no more" by @tomorrowsrain. both are one chapter in and promise to be meaty, with execution that already feels very very promising

SPECIAL MENTION TO "Like Death (or Birth)" by The_Dancing_Walrus, which has some fraught implied background wyllstarion and is just generally completely baller. astarion kind-of sort-of accidentally adopts yenna, who got fucked up by her time as a potential sacrifice to bhaal. it works! i promise it works

[korasonata]

Was bored and also procrastinating other things, so have a ranked list of Hermits based on whether I think they can cook or not for funsies. Vibes only.

—

Beef: The expert. Is well versed in almost all manners of cooking, and is an extremely skilled chef, particularly with regards to meat dishes, and is a particularly skilled butcher.

TFC: Also up there with Beef, but TFC is also a master of rare ingredients. He’s good at foraging, and he uses ingredients in his cooking that aren’t typically used in just every day life. His techniques may seem a bit primitive, but they are highly effective and his style of cooking might be called simple food made complicated.

Stress: Also a very good cook who puts a lot of emphasis on nutrition. She makes meal plans and prepares a lot of her food at the beginning of the week, and her cooking always makes sure to include a balanced diet. She enjoys cooking and likes to have fun with it. Makes a killer roast chicken.

Impulse: Is surprisingly good at home style cooking. He doesn’t make anything fancy or anything, and his presentation is always a little sloppy, but his food at least tastes good.

Cub: Doesn’t cook much, but when he does he is actually secretly a very good chef. He cooks for himself a lot, but it’s only once in a blue moon that someone else gets to eat his food.

Wels: Is a decent chef, but is incapable of cooking for a single person. He makes way too much food every time and is incapable of portioning, and as such he is the direct inverse of Cub, and he never cooks for himself if he’s alone. Is also very good at desserts.

Ren: Has a bottomless pit of a stomach. Has a big appetite and loves all food and really enjoys big dinner feasts. Is also good with cooking meat specifically. He has a special smoking method that is a real crowd pleaser. Is also good with basic rice bowls and his cooking tastes very homely.

Gem: Is good at treating fish specifically. Also anything involving wild game. Like TFC she is very good at foraging and using ingredients found in the forest. Her cooking is a bit unrefined, but has a very light, refreshing sort of feel to it.

Cleo: An average cook, but is very good at a few specific dishes. (As a side note I’ve actually tried one of Cleo’s recipes that she talked about on stream and it is literally the greatest thing ever, I made it once and people request it all the time)

Joe: Is good at making drinks specifically. He makes a mean margarita and is good at making mixed drinks and cocktails, but otherwise is an average chef with regards to food. Makes very good nachos though.

Doc: Like Cleo, Doc is good at making a few very specific dishes. He makes several German specialties and is also very good at treating vegetables, but outside of these specialties he is rubbish.

Bdubs: Stereotypical grill dad. At least he thinks so. His seasonings consist almost exclusively of basic spices. Meat is the only thing he cooks, but otherwise possesses no real flare for cooking. Despite this, he thinks very highly of his skills, and the food he puts out isn’t bad really, so the Hermits still let him cook every once in a while.

Scar: Scar always tries his absolute best, and his cooking swings wildly from perfection to the most disgusting thing you’ve ever eaten in your life. There is no in between. It’s 50/50 what you’re going to get, but he has fun either way.

Jevin: makes a mean Mac and cheese, but outside of this, he is a very basic cook. He makes himself sandwiches and grilled cheese and maybe some pasta, but otherwise doesn’t cook much else.

Hypno: Ok. He can kill something and cook it, but he’s not the best butcher and his food is just kind of thrown together. There’s no real theme to any plate he puts out. He’s half decent with seasonings and spices though.

XB: Can make fried rice and that’s about it.

Keralis: Can copy other people’s dishes when given instructions, but when left alone has no idea what he’s doing.

False: Doesn’t really cook much. She probably could, but most of the time she’s after something quick and easy. Whenever she gets hungry she just grabs an apple from the bowl or eats whatever leftovers are in the fridge cold.

Etho: Lives almost exclusively off of instant ramen.

Zedaph: treats the kitchen like a chemistry lab and anyone eating is a test subject. He’s not allowed in the kitchen very often.

Xisuma: This man could burn juice. I don’t know how, but he’d do it. He is a sopping wet cat in the kitchen. He’s the type that tries to cook but fails so miserably that every time he just ends up making a bowl of cereal for himself instead.

Grian and Pearl: have cooking battles competing over who can make the most disgusting dish. Grian is like the little toddler that always wants to help but is so bad that no one will let him. He’s also always the one standing over your shoulder and sneaking bites of things when you turn your back. Pearl can’t cook herself, but she has good knife skills so she is often allowed to help out with the prep work.

Mumbo: Will eat anything and everything you throw in front of him. He does not care. He also does not cook at all. When left to fend for himself he demolishes the kitchen by eating every raw ingredient in the pantry. This man would eat a sack of flour if you let him.

Tango: This man does not eat unless you make him. You have to physically drag him to the table to get any kind of nourishment, but he is always very appreciative of other peoples cooking.

Iskall: Orders takeout exclusively.

[astrobydalia]

Saturn🪐

by astrobydalia

There’s a lot of emphasis on the ‘delay’ aspect of Saturn. It is true that the house where you have this planet are themes that might be delayed in your life until your Saturn return (your 30s) or until you’re mature enough (age and maturity don’t always go hand in hand). Up until then, you could struggle to find stability in these house’ themes to the point where you might think you’re not cut out to have them like everyone else since nothing here seems to come easily or naturally.

Example:

Saturn in 4th - could face early abandonment from family (emotional and/or physical). May spend a big chunk of their lives feeling like they have no support or quite literally no family. Constantly feeling rejected by the people and places they try to call home and lack a sense of belonging. Eventually they learn what it really means to become a support system for themselves and the people they love, this might have come at the expense of their own comfort, but learned to build this stability within themselves once they mature

However, that is the most forgiving manifestation of Saturn in my opinion because it can actually do the exact opposite. Saturn placement can also show themes that are imposed on you very early on and you have to stick with for a veeeeery long time until you’re ready to mature out of it or until you know better. In other words, a karmic lesson. This is because Saturn also represents burdens

Same example:

Saturn 4th - could actually have a strong bond with their family and have a stable place to call home, but they could be inseparable from family/roots in a way that is detrimental for the native. Could feel the pressure to stick up for family and what they want at the expense of their own needs which results in another form of emotional abandonment. Family is limiting, could feel like you can’t escape from them or their influence. Ultimately the lesson is the same cause it’s the same placement, but instead of learning it through trial and error like the last case, they learn it from being hands on in a less than ideal situation

There’s also a combination of both: having to deal with a certain burden because you it’s like you lack the possibility of anything better in the long run. Following the example: could be the case that your whole family is gone and you only have one relative to relay on but they’re abusive

Saturn isn’t here to make sure your life is crap, it can actually bring blessing if you’re patient and resilient. After all it rules karma, so it eventually delivers what’s fair. That’s why Saturn’s exalted in Libra and also because the concepts of boundaries, respecting the common rules and detaching for the sake of compromise are things both Saturn and Libra understand perfectly. “time ends up placing everything where it should be”

It’s true that Saturn is tricky because it’s all about prioritizing growth over comfort. It’s about the sacrifices that make you tougher, stronger, bigger. So at its worst it actually be very bad. The shadow of Saturn is all about doing whatever it takes for growth and benefit. In the case of Capricorn that relates to climbing the social and economic ladder. For Aquarius, that’s detaching from your humanity in order to be more ‘evolved’. It has a lot to do with detaching from your heart and soul in benefit of the 3D world, that’s why Saturn is debilitated Aries, Cancer and Leo, because these signs are all about checking in with yourself and staying true to yourself and your heart so don’t like accepting Saturn’s limitations in terms of these things. I’d argue that it can even be worse than the other ‘malefic’ planet because it’s associated to all of the things that can be devastating for any human in a permanent basis: loneliness, depression, coldness, abuse of power (saturn=limits, control, authority)

On the flip side, Saturn at its best represents everything a healthy person needs: stability, structure, boundaries, the barriers that keep you protected and responsibility. The growth over comfort motto is actually positive when channeled healthily. As we all know, in order to mature and be a better person, we have to take responsibility and compromise some of our comfort zone, we need to learn to ‘tame’ and take control of ourselves and that’s not always a walk in the park but it’s worth it at the end. This is what helps you build a solid ‘you’ and that’s what Saturn can teach you. Saturn also represents the matrix, the rules and limits of this big game so at its best, it can be the most helpful planet when it comes to teaching you how to navigate this world and to grow from your lessons. It other words it can help you manifest!!!! Saturn gives you clues on what you can do to materialize what you want, how you can translate things into reality

Saturn is actually very rewarding and liberating in the long run if you embrace the process of growth and take responsibility for yourself in the themes it is influencing in your chart. It gets to point in your life were Saturn’s like “yeah it is what it is. It sucks. Too bad. But the ball’s in your court now, what are you gonna do?”

Anyways this was a little spontaneous ramble of my thoughts. As always, don’t hesitate to share yours :)

by astrobydalia

[wonkawinka]

we’ll meet again

“we’ll meet again… don’t know where, don’t know when..”

alastor x angel!daughter!reader

CHAPTER THREE: weak ankles!

warnings/notes: NOT PROOFREAD (at least thoroughly haha), no use of y/n, uses she/her pronouns, reader is on the fem side, cannibals(?)/cannablism

wc: 2449

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

“CAN you believe it?! actual human souls!,” emily paced around her room, if it could even be called that; a couple square feet more and it could just be a house without rooms, “and she let it happen! those poor human souls… HUMAN! like- LIKE YOU!” her hands shake violently in your face in deep emphasis

she groans in frustration as she flops down on her bed. “ugh… if only i can do something.”

“thats the thing, emily. you can.” you state, turning to face her displayed body lazily splattered on her bed. one flick away and shed immediately melt into a pile of goop.

“how?! we’ve been trying to find ways for the past week! even then…” she turns “i dont want.. you know.” a rare frown settles on the seraphim’s face.

“you dont want to let sera down, huh?” she groans solemnly at your assumption, face down into her pillow now.

“no…! well, not fully, atleast.. i mean, its not like i can go to hell myself…”

that rang a bell in your mind, it vibrated throughout your whole body. maybe she cant. you open your mouth to vocalize your opinions before shutting it, turning back around. unfortunately for you, this doesnt go unnoticed by the second seraphim.

“youre not thinking of going down there… are you?” ah, you shoudlve known you cant hide anything from her. besides sparkles or rainbows, she was basically built to detect things like these. despite how naive she can come off, people do tend to underestimate her actual abilities.

“i cant just leave them there em– i just.” you frown “i can do something for them. its not like theres anything else waiting for me up here. you havent been on earth like i have.”

“this is about your father… isnt it?”

static rings in your ears as the assumption brings you to a halt. maybe. you were mad at him, though. so was it for him?

“you dont understand.”

she calls your name, “its just— its dangerous down there.”

“look, if youre not going to try and fix this directly, i will. its not like i have nothing to lose any way…”

“thats not true, though.” she grabs your hands and looks at you, a frown resting on her usual joyful face.

“i help people, emily. thats all i do. thats how we met. i help. … but my fa..fami…,” you hesitate, debating over your word choice, “… they’re down there; it seems like my life attracts ‘bad things’, hah. i just.. i need to go.”

“i understand that but… do you really think hanging onto the past will fix that?”

her statement bites back at your tongue, inhibiting your ability to speak on the matter any longer.

“…good night, emily.” hah, your non-confrontational mind pushed you out the door of her room. guilt rushed into your veins but you pushed along, you had something you wanted and you took it.

thats one of the things the heaven-borne angels will never understand. ambition. the human need to strive for success and borderline obsession in something they want. need. hand cuffs dragging you along some sick deal you signed with yourself.

you wandered aimlessly throughout the halls of the heaven’s court, navigating your way to the exit. Before you could, the annoying, sadly familiar voice sent radio waves through your mind.

“WELL WELL WELL isnt it little miss goody two shoes! whats a bitch like you wandering around at this hour?” adam and lute stop you dead in your tracks. ugh, you had to put your pretty face on if you were going to get past these wretches.

“good evening, sir adam, maam,” you nod to them with the politetest smile you can offer to a lot like them, “dont mind a gal like me, just strollin’ her way home.”

“AH, well, since we’re here already. say youve heard about the fun little endeavor we got goin on, yeah? why dont you–”

“no—,” you take a deep breath, “no, thank you.”

“bitch, you didnt even let me fini–.”

“well pardon me, but i dont need you to finish. i will absolutely not be joining you on your little… excursion to hell.”

“OH, come on! first of all, wouldnt kill ya to stop interruping me, kinda RUDE.” your smile has tightened that it nearly imprinted on your face “two, you got kickass aim! you shot… squirrels and shit when you were alive. what, your old man teach ya that or something?”

“whether i can shoot or not is none of your concern, adam. now if youll excuse me, i have places to be. errands to be run.” trying slipping past them, you cant help but notice they were still attempting to hinder your steps.

lute stands in front of you with the same old face she had. it was never even her face. it was a mask. a helmet. one shielding the exorcists from the physical reality of the state of man.

adams voice booms at you “LISTEN, bitch. any low life creature like you should be GRATEFUL that i even tried recruiting you in the first place. its a fucking HONOR to work with me.”

“uhuh. well this low life creature is oh, soooo grateful that the one and only adam, first man of heaven and earth, invited her to your um,” the man smirks as she continues , “outings, but she has more important things to do that day. good day to ya’.”

you shouldve flown off a long time ago.

— — — — — — — — — —

the clock ticked quietly. the minute, second, and hour hand all moving in direct correspondence with one another to simply label the concept of human events in mathematical sequences. the clock struck three.

it was exactly two weeks till the extermination. you had to do what you had to do anyway. you may or may have not stolen something of emily’s to get where you were today, but oh well. shed understand… hypothetically.

its not like that stop you anyway.

flowing energy of pure essence and magic floated aimlessly through the air, twisting and curling with each individual atom. each surged with enough power to bend events on earth.

whispers of the ancient and calls from the deep filled your ears as the quiet grew louder towards you. it was overwhelming, but yet, each medley made you seem like you were being relaxed.

a portal opened, supposedly to the destination you needed to get at. before stepping in, you thought.

i can die here. again. a cannibal could yank off your arm. you might get assaulted. you might mawled. robbed. the possibilities were endless. hell was free will with no bounds.

a frown appeared on your lips as you stared at the blinding light. you were one step away from the sole thing you have been searching for weeks.

your soul could be enslaved.

.

you were never that dumb, anyway.

you hurried through the portal, making haste as if someone on the other side has caught you in the act. if you were caught, youd be banned. banished. fall—

“MMPHM!” you walk right into a random hold llady with a cane.

“WATCH WHERE YAR GOIN’, YOU WRENCH!” the old lady screamed at you, causing you to frown. “BETTER GET SOME EYES BEFORE I EAT THEM MYSELF!”

“sorry, maam…”

“sorry, my ass! hmph.”

you laugh nervously as you circle around the woman to escape, only to be surrounded by… a lot more people. even through the crowds compaction, from the distance, there was a sign.

CANNIBAL TOWN.

ah, just what you needed. seems like youre just a magnet for every cannibal, even in death.

“haha… hello… there, good sir.” some man goes to examine your wing and sniffs it… he gives a nod of approval to his friend before you snatch it away from his hands, hugging it close to your chest. “that is mine, thank you.”

your nose twitched at the stench of hell. the grim and soot combining into various airborne particulates that filled your lungs like toxins.

however, one goes in and tries to chomp your ank—

sharp pain reaches the area as you shriek back in pain, earning some recognition from passerbyers, and especially, a certain someone.

see, its not everyday people of hell see pearly white wings on their doorstep. it's like these cannibals just hit the goldmine of a chicken dinner and you were the first thing on their menu.

right before you started throwing hands, a lovely woman showed up. she reminded you of some of the ladies that babysitted you as a kid when you were alive. had the dress, the hat, the heels, everything. just taller. and with black… PITCH black irises.

“oh, shoo! leave the poor woman alone! did cha mothers teach you anything?!” she shoos off the boys, hands resting on her hips and frown resting on her face. she turns around and formally greets you.

“ALRIGHT, lets see. whats a doll like you hanging around a place like this? i gotta say, im a little flattered someone as cute as you showin’ up at my doorstep!” she thoroughly examines you and obviously takes note of your nearly obnoxious feathered wings.

she clicks her tongue and smiles “ah! you really did fall from heaven, huh? ohhh, im just teasing ya’, hun. but i do say, your one the make the mens ankles go weak! quite the bees knees!”

“as much as i love the enthusiasm, seems like ive had the opposite effect.” you display the very clear bite mark, making rosie laugh at your matching energy.

“ohh, we’ll get you fixed right up! dont mind those boys… you know how they are, especially in this time of age, YEESH!” she pushes you inside a cute ol’ building Franklin and Rosie’s Emporium.

“sit, sit! make yourself comfortable,” her motherly tone calms you down, “can i getcha anything! ooo, where are my manners, i forgot to introduce myself! the names rosie, its always a pleasure to find poor unfortunate souls like yours end up on my doorstep, especially cute ones.” she winks at you as you settle yourself in a chair, taking note of the wonderful hues and coziness of the environment. it was nothing you wouldve expected from hell.

you introduce youreelf formally, “its a pleasure to meet you. quite the pleasure, especially for a gal’ like yourself.” you smiled warmly at the woman, making her giggle.

“awwww, you’re so sweet! no wonder the boys wanted a taste of ya’, you drip with honey, hun!”

“i could say the same for you, maam.” you smile, offering the same compassion she showed. she grabs some bandages in a miscellaneous cabinet and lifts up your ankle.

“here, i’ll getcha fixed up in no time.”

silence, oddly comforting silence, filled the hall as she wrapped bandages around your ankle.

“thank you, by the way.”

“oh, don’t mention it honey, but i must say, seeing a gal like you is quite rare down here.” she states, and despite her irises being pitch black, they still held emotion.

“well— um,” you were interrupted by the static of the radio, making rosie gasp and smile in delight. she grabs a radio by the nearby coffee table and places it closer.

“oooo, you got here just in time for my good friend alastor’s podcast! quite the charmer, he is!”

his voice filled both of your ears, for a second your face falters with shock and mixed emotion, something that doesn't go unnoticed by the self-built overlord, but it fixed itself right away.

“greetings, dear sinners! it is i, your favorite radio sh…”

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

you sat at your desk, scribbling away as you studied on yet another miscellaneous biology lesson. the radio turned on, comfortably listening to your fathers voice as he spoke.

pangenesis refers to the creation of pangenes during one’s lifetime which will then be passed down to the organism’s offspring.

the blending traits theory refers to the combination of traits from the parents. however, this fails to acknowledge the reappearance of traits in next genera…

genetics was truly something. dna wrapped and packed perfectly by histone proteins, compacted in nucleosomes, and turned into the primary foundation of lives.

you and alastor were never related. he scooped you up from some miscellaneous dumpster on the side of the road. it was quite cinematic, actually. right out of a book.

newcomers always questioned your sudden appearance next to him, especially since you looked nothing like him. some assume your father had an act with some women, but those who truly knew of the two of you were ones you hold dear.

“thats it for tonight, folks! its pouring hard, tonight! i better get home and start cookin’ dinner before my daughter starves to death. good night!” his acknowledgement made you smile as the radio filled your ears once more. you turned it off and yawned, shutting the biology textbook in front of you.

some kids at school would ask you who your real parents were. youd always respond the same. you said yes and you always, always responded with your fathers name. they would protest and would ask you for a real answer, in which you continue to justify your answer.

even if the two of you werent bound by blood, you were bound by bond.

thirty minutes later, keys rattled, a door opened.

the sound makes you run down the stairs as you didnt hear his usual announcement of his presence. you skidded down hallways on your socks.

you turned the corner and saw him drenched with rainwater.

“im no genuis, pa, but it seems you got a lil’ water on ya’”

exhaustion evident in his eyes, he still manages to smile and roll his eyes at you.

“hush, now, i know i forgot my umbrella,” very unlike him , “be a dear and grab a towel?”

you laugh and walk to the storage closey and threw him a towel. “you need a lot more than a towel. a shower, new change of clothes..” you smiled “and a nice cup of tea, hm?”

he embraces you in a hug, getting you wet “hey! i already took a bath, you smell like wet dog!”

“aah, am i not allowed to embrace my favorite daughter in a sincere act of my care and love for her?”

“im your only daughter, pa.”

“and you are also my favorite daughter.”

you push him away and roll your eyes, but your bright smile remains, “go shower! ugh, now i need to change..” you stretched out your shirt to examine it. he hung his coat and kicked off his shoes. “shoo, go shower before you catch a cold, ill cook ya somethin’.”

“thank you, dear.”

“anything for you dad.”

anything for you.

[ambling-rambling]

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

C/W: honestly not much. Angst. Drunk reader. Softest of fluff

I started out intending to write drunk sex but ya sad bish needed something soft instead so have the first time Bucky Barnes hears I love you and the way it wrecks him.

Don't Leave Me

The two of you didn't actually fight that often, surprising as that was to some people. You supposed you couldn't blame them, what with the ex-Winter Soldier's perpetual frown and surly demeanor.

You knew better, though. He held people at arms length for a million different reasons, each as valid as the next, but the truth was, his core was all marshmallow fluff, soft and squishy.

In the six months that you'd been an official couple, you could count on one hand the number of times you'd so much as bickered. But this? This was different. A genuine fight, where you couldn't agree and neither was willing to compromise.

It was bad enough, his being gone on missions all the time, worrying about whether he'd come home at all, and what state he'd be in when he did. And now he was talking about some sabbatical back to Europe, trying to chase down memories and make some amends clear on the other side of the planet, indefinitely.

And it sure sounded like he didn't want you to come. Sure, his excuse had been that he didn't want to drag you away from your life, make you uproot everything. Part of you knew he didn't feel worthy of that kind of devotion, that he couldn't truly comprehend that he was your everything now.

But if still felt an awful lot like a rejection, and that stung.

Maybe that was why you'd gotten so drunk, just trying to ease the tightness in your chest, drown the ache in your soul with the burn of alcohol. It would have been bad enough on its own, but the fact that it was your first legitimate fight just made it that much worse.

So you'd gotten a little carried away, and Jaeger sure as shit did have a way of creeping up on you. You'd stumbled your way into the ladies' where you now sagged against a sink, though you'd forgotten to turn the water on.

"Honey, are you alright?" a voice startled you, and you spun, or tried to. You barely managed to keep yourself upright by clinging to the edge of the sink.

"Uhhhh..." Were you? Alright? What did that even mean? You weren't dying, but you felt like you were shattering into a million pieces. Surely that was just the alcohol talking, making everything extra dramatic. "No? " It came out a question, and the woman tutted softly. She was probably a little older than you, beautiful, and you found yourself half lost in the liquid brown of her eyes, hooded in deep gold eyeshadow, and the dreadlocks that framed her face.

"Can I call someone for you, honey?" she asked.

Call someone? Shit what a great idea! "Uhhh, my boyfriend," you said with a nod. "Er, well," you hedged, as the memories came flooding back in. "I think. We hadda fight." The words were slurred, and your new friend's eyes were sympathetic.

"Are you safe with him?"

Even drunk, you immediately understood the implications of what she was asking. "YES." Your response was so emphatic that she laughed a little. "We never fight like this," you said, pouting now, staring down at the toe of your tennis shoe. "Ever," you added, uncertain why you felt the need to add so much emphasis.

"Well, honey, why don't I call him for you? If he's got any brains in his head, he's probably missin' you just as much as you're missin' him."

You nodded, because Bucky definitely had brains, he was so smart, and beautiful and you just wanted to be with him always. Why did he have to make everything so fucking difficult?

Without really making a conscious decision, you unlocked your phone, open to your text conversation with Bucky. You hadn't even realized you had a slew of texts from him. It ran a course from appeasing,

I'm sorry, I just don't know what to tell you...

to irritated ,

Really? You're blowing me off?

to worried,

Okay well I deserve it. We don't have to talk but can you just answer so I know you're okay?

Y/n. Please. I'm really getting worried. I just wanna know you're alright.

You felt a little bad. You hadn't been blowing him off intentionally, you just hadn't been paying attention to your phone.

Your friend, god you really needed to ask her name, hit the dial button. Muffled through the speaker, you could nonetheless hear Bucky answer before the second ring, practically shouting your name.

"Sorry, my name's Meredith, but I've got y/n right here. She's fine, just pretty drunk. You should probably come pick her up."

There wasn't any hesitation in his promise to be there in a few minutes.

Meredith handed your phone back to you, and you tucked it away in your pocket, feeling a little guilty. You tried to stand up straight, annoyed with the way the world tilted and swayed under your feet.

"Easy there, honey. Let's go get you some water before your fella gets here."

You nod, because that seemed like a good idea. You clung to Meredith's arm as the two of you wound through the bar and the bartender handed you a glass of water. You sipped it carefully, uncertain if even that would settle. You had definitely never been this drunk before, and now that it was setting in you felt a little childish and stupid.

You heard your name and half turned. The sight of Bucky there, beautiful as ever in that leather jacket and his gloves, made you want to weep, and you sniffled.

"I was worried about you, doll," Bucky said gently, brushing one leather-clad thumb along your cheek bone.

You wanted to be mad at him, but the genuine concern in those blue eyes and the way he was hanging back, not pushing you, just made you want to fall into him.

"I'm sorry," you mumbled, not looking at him. "I wasn't tryna make y'worry." The words came out slurred and you felt petulant and nauseous and why was everything such a mess?

"You good now?" Meredith asked, drawing your gaze. You nodded. "Yeah, I'm okay," you said.

"Thank you," Bucky said softly, extending a hand to Meredith. "Genuinely. I'm glad she found you and not..." he trailed off with a helpless shrug, and it wasn't a leap to know he'd been thinking about all the creeps out there who'd love to take advantage of a drunk and vulnerable woman.

"Nothin' to thank me for. Us girls gotta stick together," Meredith said with a grin. She gave your hand a little squeeze, and then disappeared into the crowd.

Bucky sighed, turning to look at you again, ducking his head to try and catch your eye. "C'mon doll, you still so mad you can't even look at me?" he asked, with a little note of frustration creeping into his tone.

You shook your head. "Not that. I just feel...Dumb." Suddenly you were crying and you couldn't even really articulate why. Bucky looked panicked, jerking the glove off his right hand to cradle your face, applying pressure to encourage you to look up without forcing you.

"What? Why? You're not dumb, y/n..." Bucky looked perplexed, worried still as you sniffled again, scrubbing at your leaking eyes.

"You still w-want me right?" The words came out slurred and choked, and you were suddenly clinging to him, clutching at his biceps. The world was unsteady under you and you just wanted to be in bed, wrapped up with him, safe and wanted.

Bucky looked genuinely shocked. "What...y/n, of course I do. You're all I want. Why would you think otherwise?"

He was so confused you almost laughed. It was so obvious to you.

"But you d-don't want me to come to Europe with you," you pointed out, your voice a drunken whine.

"I don't...y/n, I don't want to go without you," you could see he was struggling to articulate himself, the way words so often came as a fight, caught up in his head. "I just don't feel like I can ask you to walk away from your life..."

"You're not asking! I'm offering!" you interrupted, your voice a little too high, a little too loud, even to your own ears.

Bucky looked... Inexplicably sad. He stepped a little closer, so his body was pressed to yours, bare hand cradling your cheek. "I ain't worth it, doll. And I don't want you to be an ocean away from home and not another friend in sight when you figure that out." .

You felt like you were choking. Oh, or maybe that was just the alcohol in your stomach revolting. Bucky must have read the expression on your face, because he wrapped an arm around your waist, mostly carrying you toward the door. "C'mon, let's get outside," he said.

The cold air hit you like an Arctic front, had goosebumps prickling all over your skin and a shiver running up your spine. But it served to still the boiling mess in your stomach. You knew you were drunk, that he'd probably convince himself it was just the alcohol, but you had to try.

"Please baby," you whined, clutching at him. "I don't wanna be here without you. I just wanna be with you , always. You are worth it to me." Your voice cracked when you begged "don't leave me here."

"I'm not leaving you anywhere, doll. Let's go home," he murmured. You nodded, slumping into Bucky's arms, content to let him carry you to the car.

You didn't even remember getting home, just waking up in bed, a little panicked, launching yourself toward the bathroom, your stomach revolting against the ill treatment of the night before. Bucky was there within moments, sweeping your hair back out of your face, palm smoothing down your back.

You slumped to the floor when your stomach finally settled, cool tile heavenly against your heated skin. "I'm sorry," you mumbled.

"For what?" Bucky asked, brow furrowed in confusion.

"Getting so trashed that you had to come get me. Being so extra and now...this," your lip curled in distaste as you waved a hand at the porcelain throne.

Bucky 's lips quirked in that ghost of a smile that was his most common expression of pleasure or amusement. "That's nothin' to apologize for, doll," he said dismissively.

"Shower with me?" you asked, and Bucky nodded, starting the water before helping you to your feet. You shucked out of your clothes and ducked into the shower with a low groan of relief, only too eager to wash the night off your skin. Bucky followed you in, and his hands skimmed tenderly across your body, helping you rinse off, his nose nuzzled into the crook of your neck.

You lingered like that, for too long, really. It would have been easy, so easy, to just stay like that, pretend nothing had happened, but you couldn't.

"Bucky?" you whispered, voice rough and more than a little hesitant.

"Yeah, doll?" he asked, without lifting his head, voice muffled against your skin.

"I...I meant what I said last night. I know I was drunk, but it was still the truth. I don't... I don't wanna be here without you. I don't care where you're going, if it's anywhere even sort of long term, I wanna go. I'll go anywhere Buck, just .. please don't leave me here. Don't go without me."

He drew back, cradling your face, his expression a study in internal wars, looking both miserable and infatuated. "I just don't want you bored over there, by yourself..."

"I wouldn't be by myself," you interrupted. "I'd be with you and that's all I want."

You could practically see that self deprecating smile even before it painted his lips. "That's not all you want, doll," Bucky argued, and you felt yourself huff out an irritated breath. "You have a job that you really love and friends you love going out with, not to mention the cat..."

You sighed. "All those things will be here whenever you've done what you need to. Or I'll meet new people and make new friends. People do it all the time, Buck. Mallory would take Alpine for a while if I asked her."

Whatever argument he was about to pop off with now, you silenced it, pressing a finger to his lips. "Stop telling me what I want or don't want, Buck. I just want you. I love you."

You watched the emotions play across his face like he was a projection onto a movie screen. Incomprehension, and then disbelief, giving way to awe, and then something so, so soft it had his eyes welling up with tears.

He was searching your face, as if trying to sniff out a lie, and then abruptly, his gaze jerked down, swallowing hard. You'd been together a while, slept together, built routines that were comfortable, that he adored, but neither of you had ever broached the "l" word and he hadn't let himself believe you were building something like a life together, something lasting and permanent.

"Really?" he asked weakly.

His surprise broke you. All this time, it had been clear to you, that this was something permanent, that you were building patterns you wanted to live the rest of your life in, a comfortable place to rest and be at home. Meanwhile, he'd been holding himself apart, waiting for his fantasy to end.

"Oh, Bucky," you whispered, felt yourself choking up against your will. "Yeah, I love you , so much, baby. I'm sorry I didn't say it sooner, that I ever made you wonder. I love you, Bucky Barnes, completely and irrevocably."

The arms he wrapped around you were all encompassing, squeezing you tight, with a hint of trembling. "I love you too, doll. So much." His voice was rough with emotion as he clung to you, and you clung right back, arms wrapped tight around his waist, lost in the touch so long that the water started to run cold. You whined as you hurried to wash your hair before it turned to ice and then crawled out.

Wrapped in a towel, you pressed yourself in against Bucky's side. "Does this mean you'll take me to Europe?"

Bucky almost snorted as he wrapped an arm around your shoulders. "Let's be real, I wouldn't have lasted a week without you anyways."

[libraincarnate]

astrology notes: 2 🌱

quick note: i'm absolutely not an astrologer. these are just a culmination of some observations, thoughts, theories, and personal experience. with that being said, i'm still learning along the way & i may come back to edit this post to make corrections. above all this is just for fun. lastly, keep in mind that i’m not reading your birth chart and i know nothing about you. these are just some possibilities that may or may not apply to you. enjoy!

🕊 gemini in the 1st house:

curious about yourself and wanting to understand yourself. you like learning about yourself and may enjoy self-improvement. wanting to know why you like/do this and that. quick to notice something new about yourself like a new interest, hobby, desire, style, physical change, habit, and personality trait.

scorpio in the 1st house:

there is no point in hiding from yourself. the pain, traumas, things of the past, your dark side, fears, all these things are brought to the surface so that you can see and deal with them. this is needed to bring about the transformation. to shed the old skin.

capricorn in the 1st house:

confronting yourself. your flaws, your bad traits, the choices you made, what areas you lack discipline, being hard on yourself, being aware of your strengths and weaknesses. it causes you to be honest with yourself. to reflect on yourself, to be and do better. 

^ having one of the 3 placements above can make someone very self aware and introspection can one of their strengths.

🕊 positive aspects between asteroid kiss (8267) and venus: being a good kisser, you love kissing, probably kiss your lover a lot, and you’ve been told you’re a good kisser.

🕊 2nd or 8th house stellium: money being a prominent factor in your life whether it be due to inheritance, marrying someone wealthy, having a job involving finance or managing money, or people giving you money just because.

🕊 capricorn in the 5th house: may initially feel like you aren’t creative but later you start to see that you actually are. someone who takes their talents seriously. might struggle with finding a balance between work & play. you can feel guilty and lazy for having too much fun, guilty when you’re not working which makes it hard to relax and enjoy your hobbies.

🕊 mars/pluto in 6th house: you’re light headed and about to throw up why are you still forcing yourself to work? you might need to pay attention/listen to your body more. learn to balance the energy you put into your work and health. if you work too hard you can get sick, and if you’re sick it’s hard to be productive which leaves you miserable. you are human, respect your limits. learn how to take a break.

🕊 aries moon men have the prettiest eyes.

🕊 having a lot of opposite aspects: can make you feel split, half & half, or like a walking paradox. you’re this but you’re also that, you are the synonym and the antonym, you’re both night and day, gray because you're both black and white. this can mean you have an interesting personality yet some confusion when it comes to understanding yourself and others understanding you.

🕊 lilith/venus in the 11th: your friends tend to have a crush on you or flirt with you. but lilith here might make your friends more hesitant to flirt or pursue you romantically. you could have a beloved/alluring/powerful presence on social media, easily attracting followers and building some kind of a presence because there is “something” about you.

🕊 taurus: when it comes to taurus & food (hear me out lol), the emphasis is usually on gluttony. this can be true but wait, there’s more!

food brings comfort (might be emotional eaters), cooking might make them feel beautiful and sensual, cooking for themselves is a form of self care and self love and cooking for others can be a love language. sharing a meal can create a bond and connection with others. their creativity may be used & seen in the recipes they create.

taurus is also associated with the mouth/throat and venus (taurus’ ruling planet) & venus is associated with pleasure so it makes sense why they like to eat.

furthermore, they could be farmers, gardeners, or be interested/knowledgeable in gastronomy, agriculture, or herbs/plants.

🕊 uranus-moon aspects: struggling with emotional stability which may lead to rebellion or acting out of order. may not be able to rely on your mom, and instead could find comfort in your friends. philanthropic deeds or making a contribution to society can be cathartic and liberating.

if you read this until the end I hope you enjoyed it & thank you so much for reading. ♥︎♥︎♥︎, those hearts are for you. 

[kachowden]

Hello! Just found your blog recently but i really like it here :3

Could we learn more about Apis the bull demon, specifically i would like to know about these special "needs" u mentioned

Of course! And thank you so much that means a lot anon <3 （＾∇＾）

TW: nsfw themes, degradation, Excessive cum, size difference, “milking”, overstimulation, slight masochism

——————————

The hallow, thundering sound of your bedpost smashing against the wall filled your once neat and tidy bedroom.

“For fucks sake Apis not again!”

The beast mewled in embarrassment

It was a filthy sight really.

The bed was misshapen, sheets falling off, pillows thrown across the room. The only exception being the two head pillows, that cushioned the bull demons heavy cock. Just barely.

It twitched and pulsed to life under your stare, thick globs of pretty cum dripping from the flaming head, soaking your pillows more than they had already been.

You’ll have to get those thrown out.

This wasn’t the first time this had happened. No, the first time it happened you damn near passed out in shock. Actually no, you did pass out. You woke up the sight of large pecs squished into your face, and a hefty weight strewn across your lap. You passed twice that day actually.

To be perfectly honest you weren’t very well versed in the needs or biology of demons, nor more specifically bull demons. So how could you have know these guys needed a regular “milking”?

You pitied the poor fella who first discovered that.

Speaking of.

Apis whined needily at your wandering thoughts, forcing a multitude of disgusting, filthy lewd visuals to flood in, and encouraging you to take a deep breath and squeeze your thighs together tightly.

He practically purred at the sight, hips stuttering forward slightly and smearing cum against your sheets.

“Apis didn’t we take care of this last week? Isn’t it supposed to be monthly?”

Emphasis on supposed to be. Apis was a special case though.

You’d taken him to a “demon expert” once, to find out why he was so consistently hot and bothered.

Apparently since he was “infatuated” with you, and you two had yet to mate, the “milking” period was had become much more frequent in an attempt to coerce you into having sex with him. You know like how some demons have pheromone’s and heats and all that?

Except you don’t know because you literally knew nothing about demons before meeting Apis.

Just your luck right?

Painintheassfuckingmotherfucker-

Anyway.

It was annoying to put simply. Granted, bull demon seed sold for quite a lot to most “farms” and “grocers”. So in terms of some extra cash it really wasn’t all that bad. It was just a massive blow to your pride and mental stability.

Not to mention it made your back hurt something awful.

The poor guy was a fucking mess during milking time. It was hard to keep him to sit still half the time, especially with his whip like tail occasionally smacking you in the face, and him trying to grab you or grind into your side.

Typically he was pretty well behaved, just not on days like this which has become more and more frequent.

You guessed this “milking” period was pretty effective.

Your hand wasn’t nearly big enough to wrap around the full girth of his cock, so more often than not you’d have to use both to successfully lift the thing up. It was heavy too, which often meant you had to take breaks. But you’d gotten better!

You supposed that wasn’t really something to be proud of.

Luckily it wasn’t that difficult to get him going after that. You were pretty sure you could breathe on it and he’d ejaculate at least a pound or two worth. But that never solved the problem. He needed direct stimulation, from you, before his dick would go back down and he’d be good for a few more weeks.

So typically you had to be extra hands on. Which is what you were doing now.

The bull demon rested dutifully against the sofa, length stood proud and pulsing above the metal bucket on the floor, meant to catch whatever came out.

You’d done this enough times to have finally bought a big enough bucket. You could probably take a bath in the thing if you really wanted to even, though that wasn’t really important to mention right now.

Apis let out a half growl half whimper, as his hips bucked upwards, cock head rubbing against your cheek disgustingly.

Motherfucker had the audacity to moan at the sight.

“Watch it!” You pushed the appendage away, unfortunately causing Apis to release another deliciously filthy moan at the split second contact, as more pre cum rushed from the sweet Cherry red tip of his cock.

He was such a pathetic mess.

why was he such a pathetic hot mess?!

His teary eye urged you to continue, your mind being overwhelmed with the desperate and erotic imagery he sent to you.

You were 90% sure you couldn’t bend that way.

You supposed you had to finish this quickly now, less this bull decided to finally take matters into his own hands.

Your hands gripped at the base of his cock, encouraging even more pre cum to dribble out, before you finally began pumping.

It was an arm work out for sure, but you couldn’t help and admire the visuals at this point.

His head was thrown back, and his pretty pattered fur fluffed up with pleasure. Delicious, sultry moans poured from his jagged teeth, and his shoulders shook with the force which he gripped the couch head. You could hear it cracking under the pressure of his fingers. The implications of those hands holding you down made you shiver, and pump your hands a little faster.

At some point however, the pathetic mewls and moans began to fade into white noise, as your previous trance quickly turned into irritation.

Especially at the sight of your ruined furniture.

Whyd this happen to you exactly anyway? All you did was find the guy when he was wandering in your back yard at night. You thought he was trying to rob you or something! But he looked so sad that you stupidly took pity on him.

You didn’t have to offer him to stay though! Maybe he hypnotized you or something. Maybe he hypnotized you into naming him too! Maybe he’s the reason your stuck here, say and night, helping an overgrown cow jerk off in your living room, in your house, when you could be doing literally anything else after a long, exhausting, annoying day! Maybe he-!

“Ahhhgn!”

A loud blaring, thundering wave hit your thoughts like a truck, forcing you away from your angry inner tantrum.

Apis had never done that before.

Oh.

The bull demons eye was screwed shut, tears pouring out from behind his eye lids, his whole body riddled with tremors as orgasm after orgasm was ripped from his poor abused cock. He whined deeply and pathetic, choking out moans with strangled pants and furious blush that swelled over his cheeks and shoulders.

He slumped back tiredly, as fat bursts of seed shot from his cock all over the floor and couch. The bucket overflowing with cum that you hadn’t even noticed till now.

Holy shit

This was probably the most disgustingly sexy thing you’d ever seen. He looked utterly ruined

You would have felt bad for the poor bastard too, had it not been for the stupid wobbly grin and your name being sang like a prayer from the bulls thoughts.

What a pain in the ass.

“?”

“Not an invitation.”

———————————-

A/n: hope you enjoyed <3

[tumblingxelian]

The "real" Batman

I see people complain about the emphasis some people put on Batmans more negative character traits a lot.

"That's not the real Batman, that's flanderiztion, fanon, a few bad but popular adaptions, the 90's only" and the like are common refrains and it really gets to me. Cos see, while I am aware no incarnation of Batman is totally one note, I emphasize the more negative sides of Batman for reasons that aren't "Edgy, badass, GRRR, Toxic masculinity woooh" bullshit and I hate being dismissed as such.

So, here's why I do it:

First is because of general frustration at the dismissal of any incarnation of Batman, regardless of popularity, or ongoing presence in the main-line comics and timelines, being invalid. IE, the "HE's not the real Batman so he doesn't count" when he canonically is, & as done stuff like that.

60s/80s Batman smiles after sending a purse snatcher away in an Ambulance, kidnaps & others relies on torture style interrogations. Just like 90s/2000's Batman threatens people with assault in prison & looms over a Mugger he slammed so hard into a wall it left a giant blood splatter.

It is fair to ague that brutality is not all of what he is, that's valid. But that side of him is not something I feel one can just handwaved away as "not canon" & people doing so frustrate me in large part because it feels intellectually dishonest. Its refusing to engage with a metric ton of the canonical lore of a character they are discussing.

Secondly is the fact that a lot of the lore, history, character development, derailment, treatment, tone, framing and more for characters OTHER than Batman relies on him having a history of problematic behavior.

Cassandra basically living in a Bat-Cave with no civilian life or identity because Bruce is giving her what HE wants for himself even though its bad for both of them is just an example of a huge part of their dynamic. One that can be deeply damaging, self destructive and messy, but also makes perfect sense given the characters involved.

How Jason's entire shift in character and framing was done largely to insulate Bruce from criticism over his death, IE, Jason being characterized post death as violent, arrogant, not particularly bright and then coming back as a villain also ties into 20 something years of smearing his name to protect Bruce's.

Stephanie's entire character history begins falling apart if Batman doesn't treat her like the trash he did in canonical mainline comics, and leaves her with only a couple of borderline cameos at best. Hell, even 'new' stuff where he's "nicer" still has him do things like fake therapy appointments to trick her.

Hell, even Dick in a lot of incarnations as well as mainline comics at different times has a lot of issues that came from being raised/trained by Bruce. No, it isn't universal, but it is far too common & recurring of an element to just say "doesn't count!" & declare the discussion over.

& the thing is, when people say they want the "Real" batman or the "Good" Batman, they not only erase these characters histories. They don't replace it with anything worthwhile for anyone but Bruce himself.

If ignoring all that meant replacing it with stuff like Jason never died & or never became Red Hood & is a totally different character. Or Cassandra and Bruce having arcs about their obsessions with vigilantism at the expense of their personal lives, or Stephanie actually getting to be ROBIN. Then it would be something at least somewhat interesting to engage with. But they don't, instead Jason still became a supervillain & is the Red Hood, Stephanie still got fired if she was Robin at all.

They are either forgotten (Cass & Steph) or end up being warped (Jason) so their characters history, everything is different and all to better serve making Bruce look good. I really find it vexing that even in "Batman is not a jerk" stuff, he still warps the narrative to everyone else's detriments.

[tokiwarcube]

The Bad Kind

Pickles hates his family, and everything to do with them… but there’s still that small piece of him that holds out hope for a normal life — for some modicum of love to be tossed his way. So maybe it isn’t weird that he’s attending this way-too-expensive wedding party… but what is weird is how chummy his mom is being with you.

Or, in which Pickles throws hands after Seth tries to get a little too friendly with you.

Pickles/Reader (GN) (Established relationship.)

Warnings: Seth. Nonconsensual touching (above belt)/sexual harassment, canon-typical violence. Happy ending, 3.1k. Enjoy!

He’s gonna pass out if he keeps breathing like this.

If Pickles had it his way, he'd never see his family again. It took a lot of work, and even more drugs, to forget the bulk of his childhood memories. And truthfully, few things would make him happier than to forget the rest of them, too. Just throw them away, leave them in the dark, and let him live. But try as he might, the past always has a way of clawing its way to the forefront of his mind, and into his life. Like right now.

His leg bounces rapidly from his seat at the edge of the ballroom, arms crossed over his chest as he picks incessantly at his cuticles. Seats flush against the wall, this small area has been your one place of refuge for the night. The rest of your small group had separated early, with most of the boys presumably wandering over to raid the bar and buffet, although from where you’re sitting, you can’t quite tell if they’ve stayed there or not. It's only once you reach out to take his hand in yours, smoothing over the blossoming red lines with your own gentle touch that he halts his movements. He turns to look at you then, finally tearing his eyes away from the crowd, gritting his teeth and pressing his mouth into a flat line. It’s a strained smile, but it’s something, at least.

You’re sure he’d burn this whole venue down if you weren’t in it right now.

"Inhaler?" You mouth.

He nods in turn, patting his pocket for emphasis, before interlocking his fingers with yours. He taps repeatedly, turning your hand this way and that as his eyes rake over the crowd, searching. You should be thankful that he’s staying seated, you suppose. Last time his parents guilted him into coming to one of these events — all hosted on his dime, mind you — he couldn’t help vying for some sort of attention and support from his mother, and the damage her umpteenth rejection left lasted far longer than you’d like to remember.

You lean into him, keeping your voice low: “You sure you don’t want to leave, hun?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine.”

He very clearly isn’t, but you know well-enough that dragging him out of here right now would only make things worse — no matter how badly you want to leave. You hum, cupping the other side of his face with your free hand and press a kiss to his jawline.“Well, just let me know, okay?”

His lips upturn a fraction then, and he tears his eyes away from the crowd again to place a proper kiss to your lips. You smile softly as you pull away, and your mouth has just parted to distract him with some conversation — he had fallen asleep during your shitty little movie marathon last night, and you weren’t going to let him off the hook that easily about it — but before you can speak you’re interrupted by the click of heels on porcelain tile, and a harping voice that has you stiffening.

All things considered, time has treated Molly rather well — your lover had to have gotten his looks from somewhere, you suppose, and she’s contributed her half well enough. Although you doubt she would ever let you see her in any other state, judging by the expertly layered wine-red box dye. You absently wonder if the dye job was on Pickles’ paycheck as well. His grip tightens on your hand as she approaches, and you can feel the warmth leave his body almost instantaneously as she comes to a standstill in front of the two of you.

Her gaze is piercing, and all at once he feels like a child again -- punished for crimes far too severe for his small hands to commit.

"Pickles, I was wondering when you would show up." Her voice is uncharacteristically chipper, but it lacks an element of invitation. She turns to you then, and when you lock eyes with her, her pinked lips turn upward, although this too lacks something critical.

“And it’s so good to see you again, too.” Your name rolls off her lips with ease, and your eyebrows bounce in surprise. “I hope my son hasn’t been giving you too much trouble at work? I mean really, with all the work that you do…”

Frankly, you hadn’t expected her to remember you at all — your first (and last) interaction could hardly even classed as a “meeting,” with how quickly it had ended. Vague memories of tequila and flashing lights — the faint recollection a firm handshake as you introduced yourself as his partner glimmers somewhere in the back of your mind — before being pulled away by a clamoring crowd. The memories are a bit fuzzy with all of the commotion — one of the boys had thrown hands with a waiter during the annual (mandatory) Christmas get-together, and after that, everything beyond getting the hell out of there was irrelevant. You can’t quite recall if you had ever told her exactly what you do for Dethklok, but you chalk it up to the trace alcohol that was in your system at the time.

“No, uh,” you stumble, “Things have been going great, actually. Smooth sailing, always a blessing to do what I love for a living.”

Her eyes crinkle at your reaction, laughing politely. She swirls her wine around in her glass absently, eyes trained on you. Pickles’ brow furrows in your peripherals, and you’d be lying if something didn’t feel off.

“Mom—”

“Now, don’t be modest dear,” she extends her hand towards you, manicured nails glimmering in the white light of the venue, “I’m sure it must be hard, corralling all of those boys. You really must have your work cut out for you!”

“Ah, really, they’re not much trouble at all.” You squeeze Pickles’ hand affectionately, dragging your thumb across his index. Her refusal to acknowledge her son isn’t lost on you. “Plus, it’s nice being able to make art with my boyfriend. It’s a good gig.” You titter out a soft laugh of your own, to be polite — don’t cause a scene.

She hums, sipping her wine. That seems to be the extent of her acknowledgement, however.

“Really, your work is incredible. Sure, it might not be my cup of tea…” She pauses then, tilting her head to the side. “But it’s good. Very good. I’d love to hear more about your process over a glass. Do you drink wine?” She shows you teeth then, eyes darting between your hand and her own.

“Ah, not—”

“Babe,” Pickles squeezes your hand, patting the top fondly before shooting a soft smile at you, “It’s fine, go have fun.”

There’s a glimmer of hope in his eyes when he says it, and this is quite frankly the opposite of fun to you — especially with the growing unease brewing in your stomach at her insistent gaze — but with a look like that, you find it hard to say no. You wonder if this is the most amiably she’s acknowledged him in recent years, and it’s that exact thought that pushes you to your feet. Maybe you can slip in a good word or two.

You smile back at him, drawing your hand from his hold to cup his face — beard scratching fondly against your hand — and press a kiss to his cheek. “Yeah? Alright hun, let me know if you need anything, okay?”

And with that you’re taking his mother’s hand, and letting her drag you across the room. It’s a bit too pristine and white for your tastes — white marble walls melt into the ground, creating a strange sort of homogeneity that, even with the towering pillars that intersperse the room, make the expensive sight rather… bland, visually. You move through the crowd towards the small bar at the front, talking all the while about the newest album and your contributions — the crowd is larger than you would have thought for Pickles’ family, although to be fair, he couldn’t remember whose wedding he was paying for this time, so you suppose they could have simply been one of the more tolerable extended members. The boys are nowhere to be found, surprisingly — you absently wonder if there’s another bar in the building, or if they’ve simply fucked off to cause mischief elsewhere.

She hails the bartender, signalling for another glass of her own drink as you speak. And for what it’s worth, you are engrossed in your conversation — you swirl the wine in your glass, watching the dark drink cradle the glass again and again as you walk her through the creative process. She nods, humming politely with a sip from her glass every now and again, occasionally casting a look towards your untouched glass. You have half the mind to offer it to her with how she’s staring it down — you wouldn’t miss it, really.

“Well, that is quite a bit of work, now isn’t it?” She smiles at you again, and that growing unease returns once again.

“You know, my son Seth is getting into the music business too. I’m sure he’d appreciate any pointers you have.” Her eyes look past you for a moment, brightening sincerely for the first time tonight as she rises from her seat. You follow her movements as she walks past you, and you feel your stomach sink when you see where she’s pacing off to.

Or, more accurately, to whom.

“You two will have so much to talk about, I bet you'll get along just perfect."

Seth trades places with her, and you feel your stomach sink. Of course she has ulterior motives. You’re being used as a business consultant. You sigh internally, forcing a smile onto your face when your eyes lock. The smarmy grin on his face leaves a growing pit of disgust in your stomach, and you realize that this has absolutely been the plan from the beginning. Fucker. You sigh to yourself, gritting your teeth: All you’ve gotta do is give him some vague pointers, you tell yourself — nothing you haven’t done before.

It’s easy to get along with someone when you can’t get a word in, edge-wise.

You sip at the wine absently, letting your eyes unfocus as he rambles at you — it isn’t a particularly good wine, certainly not the exact drink you would have chosen — although to be fair, if you knew you were going to be listening to Seth talk for the rest of the night, you would have chosen something stronger.

“It’s gonna be great, I know it—”

Like absinthe.

“— I’ve got a producer lined up to work with us and everything—”

Or Everclear.

“—We’re only missing a few people in this whole thing—”

Hell, you’d do a shot of lead-radiator moonshine, if it would put you out of your fucking misery. Maybe you’d go blind, so you wouldn’t have to look at him anymore. You don’t think bad moonshine could make you go deaf, which really would be the ultimate reprieve right now, but you’d be damned if you wouldn’t give it a shot, anyways. You hum absently, letting your eyes roam the wall behind him in search of a clock, but no cigar. You feel like you’ve been here for a fucking century.

“—and it's like, I get it, the money must drive you crazy. But listen, you and me, we could really do something. A babe like you would drive sales crazy—”

Hold on.

You blink back into focus and furrow your brow at his words, pausing at you bring your glass back down to the table.

“I’m sorry?” You can’t help the incredulity that bleeds into your voice, but he seems to misconstrue your offense as something else entirely.

"I mean it, you're gorgeous. You could do so much more than this… thing, you’ve got going on with my brother." he leans forward into your personal space, "You've just gotta let me work my magic."

You feel the bubbles of anger rising in your throat, but you quickly shove it down. Don’t cause a scene, you repeat to yourself. You grit your teeth and force a tight-lipped smile onto your face.

"I'm not sure what you're implying," you force, "but I'm perfectly happy where I am, thank you."

You pat the top of the bar, signaling the end to your conversation, before rising to your feet. It’s not worth causing a scene over a shitty sales pitch, or bad flirting. You polish off your glass in a final sip, tossing a $20 onto the granite top before moving to stride past Seth; only, you don’t.

“Come on, babe,” His hand lands on your bicep, pressing you back gently towards the seat. But you don’t budge, pulling your upper body away from him further. The nickname, ordinarily sparking such sweet feelings in your chest when spoken from the lips of your lover, sounds repugnant in Seth’s mouth. But worse than that is his touch — the unwanted contact, however brief it might have been, makes your skin crawl. You take a step back, looking to put some distance between you two.

“Don’t touch me, thanks.” You keep your voice steady despite the repulsion, and even as anger and anxiety begins to take over when he rises from his seat to follow you. You know he’s not going to do shit in a public space like this, but that doesn’t help to assuage the nervousness brewing in you. You step back again, trying to make distance and filter into the crowd, but he mirrors the movement.

“Listen—” he starts as he reaches forward -- to touch your arm? Your hair? You can't be sure, because as you step back to dodge his advance again, Pickles appears seemingly out of nowhere.

You hear the crack of fist on jaw more than you see it, and the sound of shattering glass follows just after. The people at the bar flee from the scene in a panic as Seth’s back meets the granite where you had just been, but he doesn’t have time to strike back at Pickles as the smaller man’s fist meets his face. Crunching cartilage gives way to a sudden cacophony of shrieking, and you’re shoved harshly in the panic, with only brief snippits of words filtering through it all.

"Don't fucking touch them!"

"Get off of him!"

"Oh, fuck you!"

You stumble, pushing yourself forward as you right your footing. A circle has opened up around the two of them, and with rapidly darting eyes, you see Molly on the edge of the ring — face as red as her hair as she screams something you can’t quite make out, but it's then that you see his father stomping his way through the crowd on the other side, and you leap back into action.

Pickles has his fists curled in the front of Seth's dress shirt, pressing him flush against the bartop, and he seems torn between hitting him again and simply throttling him — although with the blood pooling from the latter's nose and mouth, you suspect he’s gotten more than a few good hits in already. It’ll have to do.

“Babe, we’ve gotta fucking bail.”

Calvert’s shoes sound like gunshots on the marble flooring as he stomps towards the three of you, and you don’t know what the fuck he thinks he’s gonna do, but that’s exactly when you decide to simply hook your arms under Pickles’, pulling him off his brother. He’s about to duck in for another hit, but your insistent tugging combined with the head tilt you give to signal that it’s time to fucking leave is enough to get him to let up.

His breathing is labored — he put his inhaler in his pocket this morning, you’re certain, — and you all but drag him through the crowd the second he nods back at you.

Clutched pearls, wide eyes, and parted mouths — the faces in the crowd blur into a smear of shock and fear, stoked further by the frightened whispers that seem to choke the room. But you don't spare the time to bask in the tension, parting the crowd with a determined stride, and before you know it the cool night air kisses your skin.

You vaguely hear the rest of the guys follow you out the door — where the hell they were for all of this would be a question for the next day— but the two of you don’t stop running until you reach the car.

A breathy giggle escapes you as you bounce into the velvet interior, and you realize at some point in your scramble you had lost a shoe to the night. You stretch yourself into the corner space of the limousine, holding your hands out towards Pickles.

He pants, stopping just before the lip of the door, bowing with his hands on his knees.

“Jesus Christ,” he pants, “Hold on, just gi- give me a second.”

You laugh, leaning forward to pull him in. “You can breathe better sitting, you know.”

He makes some sort of unintelligible noise, glancing up before taking your offered hands.

“I’m not made for running,” he says, dropping into your arms. He catches his breath for a few minutes — left pocket has inhaler, you remember, although he never pulls for it. His breathing evens out slowly, and once he’s capable of speaking again, he pulls back to look at you. His brows are knitted in concern, hands coming to cradle your biceps.

“Are you okay? Did he hurt you at all?”

You loop your arms over his shoulders, dragging the blunt of your nails along the back of his neck fondly. Maybe you should be more rattled — maybe you’ll crash in a little bit once the adrenaline high of the past few minutes comes down — but with the lightness in your chest, you suspect you’ll be okay. The feel of him on your biceps, and not the vile hands of moments ago, soothes over the residual anxiety. You smile, squishing his face between your fingers and placing a kiss to his pouting lips.

“Call me babe?”

He furrows his brow, searching your eyes for something, before murmuring a quiet “babe?” through your grip on his cheeks.

You laugh to yourself, grinning wide. Yeah, you’ll be fine. You place another kiss to his lips and return your hand to its home around his shoulders, gazing at him fondly.

“Yeah, I’ll be fine. I think I should have got to hit him at least once, though.”

Laughter filters through the limo as he relaxes in your hold, and that’s when you know that he’ll be okay, too.

“He’s a little freak, Pickles.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“The bad kind.”

“Yeah dude, I know.”