#there have been dates

[astorae]

break up!

it might come as a shock to everyone but aster has never been in a relationship that’s lasted longer than a year :/ she came close before but that it turned sour after she found out something he’d done so she broke up with him and ended up back on square one..

come play along!

[sunbentshadows]

Hey all, you know how internet searches suck now? When the results are awful, full-of-AI, death-of-the-internet levels of bad?

Start appending date constraints to your searches - "before:2023".

My results have gone from 90% AI bullshit to ~60% usable - which frankly at this point is a huge improvement.

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

the fact that shakespeare was a playwright is sometimes so funny to me. just the concept of the "greatest writer of the English language" being a random 450-year-old entertainer, a 16th cent pop cultural sensation (thanks in large part to puns & dirty jokes & verbiage & a long-running appeal to commoners). and his work was made to be watched not read, but in the classroom teachers just hand us his scripts and say "that's literature"

just...imagine it's 2450 A.D. and English Lit students are regularly going into 100k debt writing postdoc theses on The Simpsons screenplays. the original animation hasn't even been preserved, it's literally just scripts and the occasional SDH subtitles.txt. they've been republished more times than the Bible

[coffee-scrub]

Mia would have some choice words on Phoenix’s taste in men

Bonus:

[fanaticalthings]

the muskification of twitter except it's lex luthor instead of elon lol

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[hinamie]

9 / 266

[wispscribbles]

you know the art you made of Soap "accidentally" giving Ghost a kiss before going on a mission? (before they started dating) what do you think happened when Soap came back from the mission? :3c

follow up to this post

They start dating of course! <3

[dapper-lil-arts]

Anyone else finds it hilarious that pony posting not only is going through a Renaissance but simply does not die lmao. i'm having a good time!

[noodles-and-tea]

Woodworms…

[parisoonic]

'It took four people to give you this? You're getting sloppy my friend.'

[regonold]

Danny x ra's but their a fresh from a nasty breakup and danny is just going through the breakup motions watch your favourites eat ice cream cry all that jazz but in gotham why?

Because i want the bat's to come across this guy crying on a roof eat ice cream and comforing him trying to get him off the roof and when they ask what his boyfriends name is he juat says ra's fucking al ghul

"It's not fair" he whines "why are tge hot ones always the leaders of some murder cult"

I just want the bat's trying to wrap their head around the fact that this twink was sumhow dating ra's and presumably dumped him because he was the head of a murder cult and HOW IS HE STILL ALIVE

[asterronomical]

me and the baddie i pulled by being silly and whimsical

[arunneronthird]

the thinking chair

[im-totally-not-an-alien-2]

Danny, at 17, did not have the best love life. This is partially because two of his must haves in a partner are " Will protect me with their life" and "Will commit unspeakable acts of violence for me" or at least beat someone up for his honor.

Naturally, this doesn't always result in the most stable of partners.

His first girlfriend, Valerie, became an anti-hero and broke up with him for his safety.

He finally got with Sam in sophomore year only for the feds to come into class one day to arrest her. To his surprise, her crimes had nothing to do with ghosts but rather an incident where she went too far and committed a few acts of economic terrorism. Danny and Tucker never really learned the specifics of the crimes, and her parents hushed up as many news outlets as they could, so there wasn't much info to go around. All they knew was that she saved thousands of lives by doing it.

In the end, she was sentenced to eight years, and she broke up with him so that he wouldn't wait around for her to get out.

His third partner was a guy named David who was really sweet. Unfortunately, Danny got kidnapped one day by David's arch nemesis, who was some villain with a corny edge lord name. Yeah. David had become a a super hero after they started dating.

And if you guessed that he freaked out and dumped Danny for his own protection, you'd deserve a cookie.

Danny was noticing a pattern here. One that continued with everyone he dated. They always became some kind of hero before dumping him for his own protection, and it was infuriating. Sure, danny could defend himself, but he was never deep enough into the relationship to reveal his phantom half, and frankly, his hero career was something he left behind when he left Amity and destroyed the portals.

He met Tim at a skatepark after Tim fell off his board cause of some jerk speeding out in front of him on his own board, forcing Tim to stop or else hit the guy. The guy was unrepentant and Tim calmed him down (this did not stop him from melting the guys wheels with an ectoblast when no one was looking).

Tim then asked him to coffee. Danny, noticing how cute Tim was, agreed.

Danny was up front with his parents being mad scientists in Illinois. He always was with all the people he dated. It was better not to hide these kinds of things or worse, wait until you're already attached and afraid of losing them. So he always told potential partners as early as possible. Tim seemed a bit put off by this but was calmer about it than most, and they continued chatting.

Tim didn't seem like the type to turn to heroism or anti heroism so he felt safe on their later dates. It was only after he had known Tim for a while that he put the pieces together.

Tim was always covered in bruises that he hid with his clothes and make up, he had complained about batman over the phone when he thought danny couldn't hear, he was rich, he knew how to fight as revealed by his stances and footwork dispite trying to pretend he didn't, and lastly he held a lot of political power and influence being Bruce Wayne's son. Power he had no reservations using when it suited him or he was just feeling petty (that pettiness was part of why danny was falling for him harder than he thought he could)

No wonder Tim was so okay with his parents being rouges.

Tim was a villain!

At least Tim wouldn't leave him like all his exes. Danny doesn't think he could handle it if he did. Another good thing about this is now he can talk more freely about the more villainous and morally gray ideas and inventions when he was alone with Tim.

Tim didn't see anything wrong with Danny's idea to use something similar to cloning pods to make synthetic meats like rump roasts and steaks as a way to end world hunger and was eager to add to the conversation.

[zephyrchama]

What are the chances the Obey Me demons natively speak human languages? Like, they can probably speak whatever human tongue they want to with a bit of hard work (studying?) and magic, but is there a demon language?

If MC keeps hearing all kinds of gutteral snarls and shrieks from the denizens of the Devildom (their classmates, shopkeepers, random folks on the street), they're clearly going to start noticing patterns. Naturally noticing that demons tend to make the same deep vocalization when they're excited, or chatter their teeth in a specific way when they're thinking hard, or make a high-pitched howl when something is especially funny. Certain syllables are always brought up in conversation with certain objects. Through this, MC can slowly pick up bits and pieces of the demonic language.

~~~

You might be out with Lucifer and Mammon one day shopping when you unfortunately drop something and decide to growl the same phrase you've heard other demons make hundreds of times. Lucifer and Mammon both freeze. They look at you, then to each other as if to say, "Did you hear that?" Then their focus goes back to you.

If they hadn't been so synchronized, Lucifer would've suspected Mammon and tied him up for polluting the exchange student's vocabulary with demon swears. Luckily, they both ask, "Who taught you that?" at the same time.

Lucifer looks concerned, he doesnt know how to react. He didn't even know humans were capable of mimicking those sounds. He crosses his arms, conflicted. Your accent could use some work, but the word itself was perfectly understandable. He's very proud, but also mad and would surely find something to lecture you over later.

Mammon looks thrilled, like he hit the jackpot. The situation is hilarious. He tries to tone it down so as not to draw Lucifer's ire, but he's grinning and brimming with curiosity. That's his human! What else did you know how to say? Does this mean he doesn't have to watch his language around you anymore?

[countess-of-edessa]

the world is so fucked up and i can't help but think the damage is irreparable when i see people talking about how unusual and prudish it is to wait six to ten dates before having sex with someone. ten dates??? roughly like twenty five hours of interaction????? ten old timer burgers and mango iced teas from chilis equals sex?????? the possibility of pregnancy, STDs, emotional devastation, lifelong consequences, not to mention just straight up the possibility of getting murdered, with a STRANGER you have hung out with for maybe like two months???? and that's a LONG TIME???? and if you feel weird about that and don't want to do that that makes you NOT HETEROSEXUAL????? THATS AN ORIENTATION???? BECAUSE ITS SO OUTSIDE OF THE NORM OF HUMAN BEHAVIOR ????? i hate all of you i hate you i hate you i hate you every day i hate and I hate and I hate you