#i mean I would never be in that situation because everything about it is bad but like. still

[candy-cloud-system]

Guess who’s back speaking their shit ! This guyyyyyy ! . Allow me to write a long ass paragraph explaining everything about why I am NOT going to take back what I said.

First off. Comparing anything I said in that paragraph to racism is wild. Not ONCE did I mention race, and it was a completely irrelevant and honestly just false comparison. Hating someone for being downright ableist is SO much different than being racist. And I can guarantee you, I will never hate anyone for their skin color or race. That is something they are born with, and cannot change. And the diversity of human beings is single handedly the most beautiful thing to me.

Now. A more accurate comparison, if you will, would be saying something along the lines of this: imagine you broke your leg because of someone else’s actions, and it causes you a lot of discomfort, pain, and changes the way you have to function. Often you get frustrated with things you’re unable to do the same as someone without a broken leg, or even get super angry at the person who was the cause of your broken leg, sometimes finding yourself daydreaming about how much better your current state would be if you hadn’t been around them or left the situation sooner. Now imagine the next day you see someone else with a cast on their leg, and you think “oh! Someone who may have a similar experience and understand my struggles!” Just for them to tell you their leg was never broken before and they simply “wanted” to have a broken leg.

Imagine the pure frustration that would give. All the thoughts of everything and all the pain and regret and rage you face daily now being mimicked by someone who woke up and decided to claim they had it simply because they wanted to. THATS what it’s like seeing an endo.

I will say this now. Plural means the exact same thing as a system. There is NO difference. There is no such thing as “systems have trauma, but if they say they’re just plural then they aren’t claiming to have a disorder!” Because that’s bullshit.

Endos cause a lot of harm to our communities, even if they aren’t aware. The misuse of terms and stealing of terms from cultural practices, invading our spaces sometimes with purpose to harm us, convincing actual systems their repressed trauma or even remembered trauma doesn’t exist or wasn’t bad, and wide spread misinformation highly effects people like me who have to live with the actual disorder.

I’ve seen a lot of systems (myself included) who are uncomfortable calling themselves plural. Although it is a correct, and sometimes more used in medical settings term for systems; the association of the word with endos who think slamming another label on themself justifies blatant ableism has made that term unbearably difficult to use on ourselves. I’ve seen the same with the words headmates, host, fictives, and other system terms.

“Tulpa Systems” are stealing a cultural term, AND misusing it at that. Tulpamancy is a term from Tibetan Buddhism. Original concepts of it found in the Buddhist Niramāņakāya, and later came into traditions of Mysticism. It is NOT when a 14 year old on tiktok decides they want a serious mental health condition and “creates an alter” for themself. Tulpas are part of a culture. And are spiritual practices.

Invading spaces that aren’t made for you can be very harmful. Even if unintentional or seemingly “harmless” those spaces are MADE for certain people. Those certain people need places they feel comfortable being themselves with other people like them. That’s very important. Something I’ll compare it to is this; I get very uncomfortable when an abled body person gets in the school elevator with me. The elevators at my school are made specifically for disabled individuals and those who cannot walk up stairs. It with the exception of escorts, when someone who is perfectly able bodied gets on, it creates a tension for me. They’re invading a space made for me and people like me, simply because they wanted to. I feel it’s unfair to me, because I’m not able to fit in comfortably in their spaces, I cannot walk up stairs with ease, yet they can, the elevator is a space where I can feel comfortable and capable with the abilities I have, and I feel very uncomfortable when that’s invaded by others. And it’s the same with system spaces. I’ve ranted to my friends countless times about how I never feel comfortable in the online system community. My spaces get invaded constantly by people who think they have a right to steal what should be a safe space for trauma survivors. I have grown accustomed to the reality that I will never have a space online that I will be completely safe from ableism in this community do to endos. Even in real life I have faced people in the eyes who faked my disorder just because they thought it was cool. They faked and copied my real struggles, lied about experiences and made me miserable. And I feel like i don’t even have to speak about the endos who come into spaces to harm us. We can all tell that’s fucked up.

CDDs are a trauma response. And something it does, and it’s whole point, is to hide your trauma. A lot of people with CDDs will not remember what happened. It’s what makes it so tricky to cope with and heal from. I’ve had a very close friend of mine ignore their plurality and not take steps to heal due to them being convinced they didn’t have trauma or wasn’t enough trauma and they were an endo. That is so incredibly harmful. I cannot stress that enough. Telling people they can have a CDD without trauma, even putting that option of being plural without trauma is SO harmful. Because young people who may realize they have a CDD and not be educated on them will brush it off as being an endo, spread that misinformation, and most dangerously; not be able to take the proper steps to heal. Lucky for me, I understood that it was a trauma related disorder, so I was able to get into therapy, get on medication to help myself combat my depression, and find coping skills that were healthy for me to work on growing and coping with my CDD and other disorders. Convincing someone their CDD isn’t serious, or that it’s not trauma related takes that away from them. It takes away the realization of the need to heal, it takes away the chance for them to cope with serious trauma. And it can even worsen it. People with trauma who categorize themself as endo or are categorized by others as endo may be even more effected, feeling like trauma is now a competition or that they aren’t enough to have a CDD that they may actually be struggling with and wanting help for. I hope you understand how harmful that is.

The spread of misinformation is WILD. One of the first things usually brought to me by my friends at school who don’t know much about DID is usually some misinformation they saw from an endo. And of course I don’t mind educating them properly at all, but it honestly hurts me a bit to see some of the crazy things I’ve seen them believe because of how much misinformation people spread on the internet about this disorder.

CDDs aren’t fun, they aren’t quirky. They’re serious trauma stemmed disorders formed to help someone survive. It’s not “having silly characters I like in my head”. It’s NEEDING them to keep you alive and as stable as possible when in horrible conditions whenever you are in the most vulnerable stage of your life.

Blah blah. Internet rant. Blah blah. I can already feel the comments calling me a loser and telling me to blow up or something 💀 like ima lowkey be mean for a sec but do y’all ever shut up? Learn to literally educate yourself instead of believing a 13 year old who wants the entire cast of Hazbin Hotel in their head cus they think it’s quirky (no shade to actual systems with hazbin alters)

Get ur ableist asses outta here fr 💀💀💀💀😭😭😭 making my life hell

Tw: syscourse ,

Endos DNI with this post.

Hot take; I shouldn’t have to be terrified to read / like posts. I should have to read the tags to make sure it’s not posted by an endo trying to infiltrate our spaces. I shouldn’t have to fear that the thing I’m gonna read is going to send me into a spiral because it’s gonna be some stupid ass shit about how “traumagenic systems are losers” or whatever the other stuff endos say about us is.

WE SHOULD NOT HAVE TO HAVE AN ALTER WHO SITS OVER MY SHOULDER EVERY TIME I OPEN THIS APP THAT CAN PULL ME AWAY INCASE SOMETHING GETS BAD.

THAT SHOULD NOT BE A THING I, A TRAUMATIZED SYSTEM, SHOULD HAVE TO DEAL WITH WHEN LOOKING FOR COMFORT OR SILLY CONTENT TO CHEER ME UP REGARDING THE TRAUMA FORMED DISORDER THAT WILL FOREVER MAKE MY LIFE DIFFICULT.

“Endos don’t hurt anyone🥺🥺🥺”

yes they fucking do.

- Sharkbite

[evansbuck-ley]

yk what i have been thinking about? the bucktommy beginning was sm about tommy teaching and showing buck new things. and it felt so romantic and hot. but now 8x06 has recontexualized everything in a bad way. 😩

it seems like they never had any casual talks about buck's newly discovered queerness. just, yk, hey, how are you feeling two months into this relationship? do you still have moments where you worry what others might think? buck put a rainbow emoji in his public instagram account during pride, has queer friends, and... he apparently did nothing with his personal queer revelations?

they apparently also never talked about exes and what they did in their lives before meeting and how they want their lives to look like in their future and their personal boundaries and and and... like, you ask those big questions (family plans, financial situation, hobbies, job situation, etc.) in the dating phase, which is before you actually commit to a person in an exclusive monogamous way! why invest in a relationship when you don't even ask if the other is looking for something long-term lol?

the fact that 8x06 also confirmed that they spend a lot of time together just makes things worse because 1.) what the fuck have you been doing all this time then, both individually and together, and 2.) then it makes even less sense for buck to ask tommy to move in or for tommy to break up immediately or for both wanting to reach out because how did they even reach the 6 month mark without talking? without learning anything of importance about each other and themselves?

it makes canon bucktommy look like every other shallow short-term fling that buck had so far. could have simply been fuck buddies and they would have had the same level of knowledge about each other after 6 months. just hate how this one episode retrospectively fucked over canon bucktommy in so many different ways ☹️

8x06 is straight up trash. fact.

if they had always planned for them to break up they could have done it SO much better and not leave a bad taste in everyone’s mouth. And you are right, contextually it makes the whole six months they were together seem so…meh.

and as much as people joke about buck speed running his bisexual awakening, since the first initial story line, has anyone really acknowledged it? are you telling me that hen has not even spoken to buck about what this all means to him? wdym known research freak evan buckley didn’t spent all night after tommy kissed him deep diving into this whole new side to him. they simply said “look he is bi and now has a boyfriend” and moved on. they don’t even SAY the word bisexual in the show. which is just fucking insane to me. they just skate around it in such a horrendous way.

and don’t even get me started on the Abby side of things because I absolutely DESPISE it. it’s such lazy writing.

but on the flip side, contextually 8x06 gave us so much good. buck was ready for something more with tommy, he was ready to live together and grow old together. he was ready for tommy to be just last. same for tommy, he wanted all that with buck. buck was also tommy’s last and they had so much opportunity to really dig into his character, to explore why he was scared to go there with buck. but again, they just wrote it off.

we also have previous episodes that actively show that this isn’t just a fling, especially for tommy. he showed up to the cafe simply because buck asked. he came to the hospital after fighting a fire because he made a promise and buck got a lil pouty about it. he showed up for buck again and again in 8x05 because he clearly cared.

for me personally, 8x06 doesn’t make their whole relationship seem like a fling. for me, it shows that these two characters care about each other so much, but clearly lack some communication of how they feel and where they both are, in the context of their relationship and in the context of their own personal journey’s.

[blackcatnip]

The blue sky in your eyes

Soukoku Ok, you know about when you are crying and it’s the most beautiful day outside, so you think like, “the sky should be as sad as I am”. With that in mind this scene came up, and it’s more of Dazai having that thought, and deciding to latch on another anchor to validate his mood.

Dazai doesn’t remember when it changed. One day, before he could realize, he wasn’t looking up to calm him down anymore.

It was a thing that had stayed in his body almost like a program inside a robot. Whenever he felt overwhelmed, trapped, or just wanted to be gone, he would look up. And see the sky.

It was a dangerous gamble. He knows that, but what is life without a little danger? Look up when you want to burn the world, and if the world apparently wants you to burn it too, it would respond with a shitty sky.

For some really annoying reason, it was rare, and when faced with the most common blue sky sprinkled with some clouds, he would just decide to lay down and do some cloud watching. — If sometimes he happens to be in the middle of the road, what can he do? It’s the system.

It was in that situation that Chuuya appeared one day. Thinking about it now, Dazai is almost sure it was then that it changed.

It was a bad day. He had fucked up, big time, he had too many subordinates killed, the drug he was suppose to retrieve was shattered on the floor, all that piled up, with the dooming notion that, on top of everything, he would have to report back to Mori at the end of the day. He was not afraid of the man, never. But, and with a lot of buts, Mori was his boss, and he, despite how Dazai hated to admit it, had power.

So he laid down, this time in a park, and looked at the sky. Cussing once more at the view of the overwhelming blue with those stupid fluffy clouds.

“What are you so angry about?” A voice popped up beside him and Dazai just closed his eyes.

“I’m meditating, could you please leave? It would be nice.” The guy just hummed at that.

“You fucked up real bad this time uh.”

Leaning on his elbow he glares at Chuuya.

“I did not. They were incompetent and now the one facing the consequences is me.” He groans and lays back down. “I’m here, alive, in the shit while they managed to die, how is that fair?”

After some minutes of silence he hears some shuffling beside him and when he looks over, Chuuya is laying down at his side.

“So? Why are we angry at the sky?”

“We?”

“I hope he didn’t do much, cause it really sucks to fight, the… you know, the infinity blue.”

Dazai chuckles. “You can attack it at night when it’s black then.”

“But I have to see to make it a good fight.”

Dazai looks up at a little cloud with a beautiful shape, he pulls his arms up and tries to grab it.

“I know what you are thinking, that does not look like a hanging rope”

“You are so mean, if it wasn't, how could you know that was what I was seeing, hm?”

“Because I know how crazy you are.” The boy puts his arms in the back of his head and continues to scan the sky. “You want backup?”

“For what? To talk with the boss?” He scoffs at that. “We aren’t kids being reprimanded by our fathers.”

He can sense Chuuya shifting to the side and staring at him.

“No, it’s worse.” He waits some more minutes and when Dazai doesn’t dare to respond he continues. “It’s okay to be scared.”

“I’m not.”

“Bullshit.” At that Dazai looks at the redhead. And is caught by the depth of his eyes.

They are more gray than blue now, even with the sun right upon them. Somehow, that was comforting, to look at them and see something other than just clear blue. Chuuya seemed mad, probably at Dazai, but at the same time it didn’t feel quite that.

“Just a crappy day. It will pass eventually, like any other.”

“You can talk shit about crappy days you know? Instead of..” He waves his hand at Dazai. “Picking a fight with the sky.”

Dazai gaps at that and puts his hand dramatically on his chest.

“For your information, he was obviously taunting me.” Chuuya rolls his eyes at that. “He should be suffering just like me, with rain pouring on us, or with fog, or at least cloudy, this-” He points accusingly at the sky. “Is just outrageous.”

He sees Chuuya slowly getting back up and brushing off some grass from his clothes before walking to him and offering a hand, to which Dazai just glares suspiciously.

“You are blocking my view.”

“Come on, nothing will come out of just sulking in the park, the weather forecast says it will be a sunny day all the way up.”

“And what do you propose?”

“Get it over with and then, I don’t know, open a bottle of wine.”

“I prefer whiskey.”

“I’m not drinking that.”

“So you are drinking too?”

“Well, duh.”

Good enough, Dazai takes Chuuya’s hands and they both start walking to the Mafia building. Before entering he takes one more glimpse of the sky, and sighs, blue as always. And so he turns to Chuuya’s eyes that were already changing their shade again.

So much better.

[maxdibert]

Hii I'm a new follower to your blog, but a quick question (this is after I read your 5 most hated Harry Potter characters, and I agree mostly, ESPECIALLY on Dumbledore): what's your opinion on Darco Malfoy?

Just curious...

Hi there! Thanks for following!! ^^

So, let’s talk about Draco. I always tread carefully when it comes to him because I don’t want to romanticize the character, but at the same time, reducing him (as Rowling does) to this über-evil bully feels shallow and shortsighted.

Draco is essentially a James Potter. He’s a rich, spoiled kid whose parents have always given him everything he wanted and treated him as if he were the most precious thing in the world. And yes, lots of people claim Lucius was abusive, but I don’t think that’s accurate. Lucius was a classist fanatic with terrible ideas, but that doesn’t necessarily make him a bad parent. Some folks don’t understand that you can be a terrible human being while still treating your kids well. History is full of examples of people who were absolute trash as human beings but were doting parents, and vice versa: people revered for their contributions to peace or human rights but who, behind closed doors, were awful to their families (looking at you, Gandhi and Mother Teresa).

Draco trusted his father to the point that he felt comfortable writing to him and complaining about every minor inconvenience at Hogwarts. That’s not indicative of abusive or neglectful parenting—it’s quite the opposite. It shows a kid so confident in his parents’ support and protection that he doesn’t hesitate to make a fuss over, say, the Saturday meal in the dining hall. Draco, like James, also believes he has the right to pick on certain people based on what identifies them. Draco mocks people for being Gryffindors or Muggle-born, while James bullied Severus for being a Slytherin and having an interest in the Dark Arts. Both of them feel justified within their own moral frameworks to target specific groups. However, one thing we can say in Draco’s favor is that he never publicly stripped anyone or orchestrated a “prank” that nearly got someone killed by a werewolf (that was Sirius but still-)

That said, if there’s one way Draco differs from James, it’s in the political alignment of his parents. But ultimately, it’s the same situation: rich parents fervently instilling a set of values in their upper-class kids who, because of their privilege and never having been told “no,” completely believe in these ideas and stomp over anyone who challenges them. The only difference is that the values James’s parents passed on were “the good ones,” while Draco’s upbringing trained him to be a massive bigot.

Draco is the typical smug, self-satisfied kid from an ultra-conservative family who has never stopped to question those ideas—and why would he? They’re part of his privileged world. He has a comfortable, conflict-free life. His parents love and support him, his friends share the same beliefs, and in his social circle, these ideologies are considered virtuous. Why would he question them? Nothing in his life sets off any alarms. He’s never suffered, and this ideology has never negatively impacted him or his family.

Then Voldemort returns. The chaos in the Department of Mysteries happens, and Lucius falls from grace. Suddenly, Voldemort’s followers aren’t these wealthy, powerful wizards he always thought they were. They’re pawns to a psychopath who severely punishes anyone who becomes useless. That’s when Draco begins to realize this isn’t a game. It’s not something to joke about with his friends or mock other kids over during recess. This is war, and war costs lives. And he’s on the side of a madman who wants him to kill Dumbledore. But Draco doesn’t want to kill Dumbledore. Sure, Dumbledore’s a dick, and maybe he shouldn’t be headmaster because he clearly plays favorites, but just because Draco dislikes him doesn’t mean he wants him dead—let alone that he wants to be the one to do it.

Draco can be nasty, petty, and insufferable, but he’s not a murderer. He doesn’t want to kill anyone, but he has no choice because if he doesn’t, Voldemort will kill him and his family—or worse, kill his family first and then him, just to drive the point home.

Draco never particularly interested me as a character until this moment when he realizes what his ideology truly entails and what it means to follow someone like Voldemort. That’s when he stops being a kid playing at being a dark wizard and starts seeing the real consequences of it—and he doesn’t like what he sees. There’s a big difference between holding certain political ideas and being dragged into a spiral of gratuitous violence. He doesn’t want to be part of it. And I think that makes him incredibly human (despite whatever Rowling might say, because she can eat my ass). It’s something that happens to a lot of kids who grow up in environments like his.

I went to a Catholic school full of kids from ultra-conservative families, and I knew people like Draco. People who, as they grew older, started to realize that the ideas they’d been taught to repeat without much thought could become genuinely dangerous. I don’t think Rowling intended this—because she’s pretty one-dimensional when it comes to aligning her characters into good and bad camps—but what she ended up doing with Draco in the end was turning him from a caricature of a bratty bully into a painfully realistic character.

I have a lot of compassion for Draco. He learned his lesson the hard way. But honestly? That’s fine. He needed a reality check, and he got one.

[touyas-multi-purpose-saline]

NSFW ALPHABET - CHISAKI KAI

cw: Overhaul is the Biggest Virgin Ever, Dom/Sub Undertones, Masturbation, Slight Exhibitionism, Cunnilingus, Thigh-Riding, Use of Toys, Slight Voyeurism, Slight Gendering (Fem), Cum, Descriptions of Positions, Overhaul is Also Kind of Creepy, Brat Taming, Orgasm Control, Paddling, Restraining / Restraints, Slight Teasing, Fem! Reader. 18+ Only!

author's note: This is a NSFW Alphabet, so there is honestly a mixed bag of NSFW themes. Be aware of that when you read this. Anyways, thanks for being patient! Exams have been hitting me hard and I've had to make multiple presentations. I hope you enjoy this! Remember, Overhaul is super weird and kind of creepy - but at least you love him!

word count: Approximately 3.2k words.

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex.)

Depends on the situation—how rough was it? How messy was it? When? Where? All of these things are important to how Kai reacts. If he was too rough and hurt you, he’ll silently do whatever you need, but he won’t apologize. In a perfect world, Kai’d command you to come with him and bathe, and he’s adamant about how thoroughly you clean yourself. However, time and location matters. If it’s extremely late at night, or if he was irritated enough to have sex somewhere else besides the bedroom, he’ll sometimes sacrifice his proclivities just to be pragmatic, but don’t expect him to keep his sly and disgruntled comments to himself. 

B = Body part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s.)

Stereotypical or not, Kai’s favorite part of his body is his hands. They’re how he does everything that matters to him. His whole life hinges upon whatever falls into the palms of his hands. And the way that your blood pounds to life underneath his fingertips is addicting, and he loves tracing his fingers all over your body to watch it physically react. He loves to see what he does to you from a simple touch, and he can feel what he does to you. 

As for his partner? Kai doesn’t really care about that stuff. If he’s attracted to you, then he’s attracted to you. However, Kai would be lying if he didn’t say he had a preference for your belly. It’s perfect to squeeze, to rest his head upon, to hold, to watch—he thinks it makes you look really womanly, so you better prepare yourself for really uncomfortable comments. 

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum, basically.)

Always inside. He tried a couple of times to finish on your stomach, but he felt queasy whenever he watched it dribble down onto the bed sheets. Even if he’s not wearing a condom, he’s still not pulling out because he doesn’t want a bigger mess than he’s already going to have to handle seeing. Kai will also definitely order that you hold his cum inside, even if he knows that’s not how it works, but it makes him feel more in control of the situation and he’ll say you’re a bad girl if you don’t do it. 

D = Disinfectant secret (Pretty self explanatory: a dirty secret of theirs.)

Does he look like the kind of man to be ashamed about being clear on what he wants? Kai doesn’t have any dirty secrets. You know everything that he likes and wants, and he makes it known. 

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Kai was a complete and total virgin before you. He had never dated anyone, gone on a date, kissed, hugged, held hands, or even held eye contact with a woman longer than a few seconds. The first time you had sex with him was really awkward, but just because he was a virgin doesn’t mean that he doesn’t know how sex works. He never cared before he met you, but he definitely researched how to pleasure you and make you orgasm after he fell in love despite how it made his skin crawl, even if he isn’t as good in practice. Kai doesn’t give up, though, that’s not the type of man he is—just… don’t point it out or offer to help or show him how to do something because he’ll mutter that he knows what he’s doing, even if it’s already been over half an hour. 

F = Favorite position (This goes without saying.)

Anything where he’s on top. Kai doesn’t want to be on the bottom. The only time he’d even consider being on the bottom is if you beg him enough to ride him, but you have to promise to let him set the pace, to be the one with his hands on your hips and controlling each thrust. Even then, that’s rare. He likes missionary, as plain as it is, because it’s one of the best ways to cage someone and it’s the perfect angle for him to watch every little expression that crosses your face, to watch how you react to what he does and what he says. Kai also likes when you’re on your belly and he’s on top of you, chest again back, and he’s gripping your jaw with one hand and massaging your clit with the other. He just likes to be the one in control—regardless of the position. 

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment? Are they humorous? Etc.)

He’s not humorous. Kai might make a sleazy comment here or there, a condescending grin smeared across his face before he coos and thrusts in a way that has you gasping and forgetting what he’d said. Sometimes he makes rhetorical comments that make him chuckle about how much you’re enjoying yourself or how dedicated he is to you, but they’re not funny and you don’t comprehend some of what he says anyways because he murmurs them. 

H = Hair (How well groomed are they? Does the carpet match the drapes? Etc.)

Completely groomed and clean-shaven. However, yes, if he let it grow out, his bush would be just as curly and mahogany as the hair on his head. 

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment? The romantic aspect.)

Kai is oddly romantic in unintentionally creepy ways. He’ll have his fingers around your throat as if he were about to strangle you, but then he’s kissing against the shell of your ear and telling you that he likes feeling you swallow. If his fingers are buried inside of you, he’ll whisper that he can feel your pulse and how arousing it is. Kai also makes comments about how the both of you are perfect together, or how you belong completely to him, how you’re his Angel and he’s your God. He loves to remind you that you should feel honored and special because you’re the only person who will ever get to have him like this. Despite it all, Kai is still mean and vain, even if he’s looking at you with adoration in his eyes while he grinds into you. 

J = Jack off (Masturbation headcanon.)

Kai masturbated regularly because it’s healthy, but he didn’t have anyone on his brain or any fantasies whenever he did so until he met you. He jerks off more now that you’re together, and it’s definitely because he can’t comprehend or handle the sheer amount of emotions he feels in relation to you. He’s constantly overwhelmed by his attraction to you—before the two of you were together, he was constantly getting hard around you and having to excuse himself to masturbate. He gets extremely weird about you—in an endearing way, of course. Before he met you, Kai didn’t know how to properly masturbate. When he was going through puberty, he just rolled his palm across his erection and oddly fondled and squeezed until he orgasmed. Even once he was older, he didn’t look into pornography or educational sites because they grossed him out and made him nauseous, and he didn’t really have a totally prominent male father figure in his life who gave him decent advice that wasn’t generic. 

You really saved his life in this aspect. 

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks.)

Kai is definitely a brat tamer. He likes to put naughty girls in their place—this can include controlling your orgasm: when, how, if you cum. He’ll also paddle you, not spank. Kai insists there’s a difference, but you can’t focus on that whenever his belt is leaving welts across your cheeks. He enjoys dirty talk because he loves pointing out how much of a mewling mess he makes you, how you look, what he feels, how it all feels—and he’s so cold, stiff, and formal about everything he says, and it makes your heart twist in embarrassment and your toes curl in ecstasy. Kai loves making you use your words, loves hearing you ask exactly for what you want, wants to hear you say please and thank you. Even though he won’t call it roleplay, Kai enjoys whenever he treats you like a little angel who’s found a new heaven with him and he’s your god that’s making you feel things you never would have dreamed of. Kai also likes when he can pin you down, or keep those wrists and ankles bound so that it’s easier to hold you against his body. Another thing that gets Kai going is whenever he’s in a meeting or something, and he’ll purposefully pat his lap to signal that he wants you to sit on it no matter how squeamish it makes you. He loves to show people that you belong to him, and he likes to bounce his leg a little to hint that he wants you to try something, do it. Start casually grinding against his thigh, or wiggle yourself against his growing erection—Kai wants to see how far you go, how much of a needy little girl you become, and how much he’ll need to punish you later for whatever you do because how dare you let other men see you pleasuring yourself? Aren’t you dedicated to him or does he have to show you how to behave? He also likes being in public and displaying how much power he has over you, and he find ways to casually touch you—which it’s light petting of your inner thighs or your hips, or if he’s sitting across from you roughly rubbing the toe of his shoe against your cunt to make you whimper and gasp back tears. Just don’t be too loud, angel, those beautiful songs you make are just for his ears only. 

L = Location (Favorite places to do the do.)

Overall, Kai prefers that sex stays in the bedroom. However, he’s been known to throw caution to the wind and do whatever he needs at the moment. Kai has pinned you up against a wall, legs wrapped around his hips and arms tossed around his shoulders, while he thrusts into you just so that he can stare into your eyes and tell you just how upset it made him whenever another man stared at you a little too long. He’s also had you bent forward over his desk whenever he’s had a particularly infuriating conversation with a business partner, a lackey, or he’s hit a wall in his research—hives bubbling all over his skin and angry wheezes of air hissing from his teeth. 

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going.)

Unfortunately, a lot of things turn Kai on when it comes to you. He’s obviously not going to pounce on you while in the middle of a meeting or whenever you’re preparing dinner, but Kai will definitely stare at you creepily. It’s unsettling, but it’s not meant to be threatening. As stated earlier, he doesn’t know how to handle what he’s experiencing whenever he’s around you, so Kai is always on the cusp of being extremely aroused. 

N = No (Something they wouldn’t do; Turn-offs.)

Nothing with bodily waste, nothing involving actively spitting into one another’s mouth, nothing involving anal, nothing involving degradation for himself, and nothing involving him being the submissive one. 

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Kai’s not too crazy about receiving. It makes him feel like he’s not in as much control as he would like to be in. Feeling the flat of your tongue trail up the underside of his shaft before that pretty little mouth kisses down on his cock is amazing, yes, but it makes Kai into more of a whiny mess than it should—even whenever he’s the one moving your head—and he finds it humiliating. So he prefers giving. That way, he can control your pleasure, the sounds you make, how you beg, when you’ll cum—everything and more. He’s not the best at it because he’s constantly pressing too harshly or using his teeth on accident or he’s sucking too hard, but he’ll slurp and lap at your clit until you eventually do cum or you’re begging him that it’s too much to handle. 

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? Etc.)

Once again, it depends on the situation. Is he upset or angry? Then Kai’s got you slammed onto the bed underneath his frame, one hand connected to the back of your head while he quickly pounds into you. He’ll moan, and whine, and whimper, and he’s hyperventilating between glued teeth. He can also be rough whenever he’s slow and sensual, too. He likes to take things slow whenever he wants to drive you mad, even whenever his cock is throbbing, yearning, to be inside of you, to cum inside of you. Each thrust is definite, and it makes you gasp and choke for air whenever he withdraws and pushes back in. It’s these times that Kai likes to tease you, likes to talk dirty, and likes to remind you who you belong to. 

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

They’re fine, Kai guesses. He doesn’t really like doing quickies because that usually implies that they might not happen in the bedroom, but he’ll settle if he has to. Sometimes they happen early in the morning, when he has only a few minutes before he has to get ready and head out for business-related shenanigans. Or they happen whenever he feels so full of emotion—whether good or bad—that he steals you away to have you for just a few moments. Kai will take what he can get basically. 

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment? Do they take risks? Etc.)

As long as it doesn’t cross any of his turn-offs, Kai doesn’t necessarily care whether or not you two attempt something risky together. He’ll try anything until it makes him queasy or hives are powdering his face. 

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for? How long do they last?)

Kai can go for a few rounds, but time, place, circumstance, mood—all of that matters. Kai’s pretty quick to recover after orgasming, with a very small refractory period. Typically, he aims for a solid two rounds because it sends his head spiraling at the thought of being inside of you, but is fine with one. 

T = Toys (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

If the two of you are both naked and engaged in intercourse, Kai doesn’t want to use toys—it makes him feel self-conscious about his own skill, and jealous because he wants to be the one to make you orgasm. However, if he’s fully dressed and you’re completely naked, he loves to use toys on you because it makes him feel so dominant and powerful to watch you crumble and beg for his touch despite the sweet smile on his face telling you no. While he might not be too keen on public displays of affection, he gets a bizarre sense of satisfaction at being able to control you sexually in public. He’ll make you use a vibrator whenever the two of you are on a date or if he’s meeting someone for business related issues, and he’ll have a remote control tucked away in his pocket that he casually plays with to make things worse or better for you—typically worse. And no matter what, Kai isn’t too keen on using toys on himself. 

U = Unfair (How much they like to tease.) 

Teasing you is one of his favorite things to do. It’s the perfect time to be so mean, to breathe into your ear about how much he wants you, about what he wants to do to you, about how you’re already trembling even though he hasn’t even kissed you yet. However, he can only do this for so long. Kai can’t really hold back whenever he’s about to have sex with you, so he doesn’t make you wait for very long because it’s like a backhanded way to tease himself. Which, yeah, don’t you dare tease him, angel, you know what kind of man you make him into. 

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Kai is quiet and formal in person, but he’s so fucking loud in bed. He’s constantly moaning these beautiful and deep chords, these heavy notes filled with sounds from within the bottom of his chest. He’s whimpering, little staccato gasps playing on his lips as if he were sobbing. Crying out your name, growling about how good you are, how good this is, how good you make him feel. He’s panting, and he releases whines that make him sound pathetic, and they all blend into his dark chocolate voice, the one that’s baritone but yet so wispy and silvery. 

W = Wild card (A random headcanon for the character.) 

As ironic as it sounds, Kai is the messiest kisser you’ll ever meet. If there’s one thing you can’t teach him, it’s how to kiss. Perhaps it’s too involved, too intimate, too romantic, too many overwhelming things that Kai can’t possibly sift through the insanity it makes him feel. But he hasn’t improved since your kiss together. They’re all filled with slobber, saliva painted across your mouth, your chin, the ridge of your upper lip, the button of your nose, maybe lining the outskirts of your cheeks. He’s sucking your lips in, and it’s one of the few times that he’s begging for you to make him feel good. Sometimes he sips you in too hard, other times he’s chewing your lips, or he’s accidentally clicked your teeth together while he desperately swipes his tongue around. And it doesn’t matter if he’s going fast or slow, they’re all sloppy and immature. 

X = X-ray (Let’s see what’s going on under those clothes.)

The skin of Kai’s cock is a little darker than the rest, and his sac is decently sized and evenly balanced. He’s uncircumcised, and the color of his head has a slightly violet tint. Whenever he’s fully erect, he’s about 6.7 inches / 17.02 centimeters long. His girth is roughly 6.2 inches / 15.75 centimeters wide. 

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Before Kai met you, it was below average. He just masturbated if he felt that he was getting too pent up or if he figured it was a good time for a release, but he didn’t really have the urge to have sex. However, after he met you, it’s like he doesn’t know himself anymore. His libido is unpredictable now, but Kai almost never wants to not have sex with you. He’s unsure of himself, but it’s high with you. 

Z = Zzz (How quickly they fall asleep afterwards.)

For the last time, it depends on the situation. If he has work to return to, he doesn’t fall asleep. If he was angry and cornered you, then he’ll just be even more awake. If the two of you just spent a passionate evening making love in your room? Then he’ll want to make sure the both of you use the restroom, bathe, brush your teeth, change your clothes, and change the sheets before the both of you lay back down. After that, Kai’s all over you, and he only manages to fall asleep after you do, body on top of yours. 

[agentlizardofowca]

Hi sorry to bother you again but I was wondering how you think these situations would go?

I mean I know there’s probably 1000 fics about this already but what if Doof created a “HUMAN-INATOR” or something like that and accidentally turned Perry into a human?

Also unrelated thing and I think I may have asked you this before about Doofs arms, but since they’re both titanium do you think his family knows? Or do you think at a family’s reunion he just pops one off and everyone freaks out.

So, years ago I had a vision for a fic that I never ended up writing because I couldn’t figure out what direction to take it. It would be very long, kinda angsty, etc. I love the premise still, and tbh if someone else wants to write it, feel free. I don’t think I ever will.

So, Doofenshmirtz is annoyed that the specific screw he wants to buy isn’t available, his only option is this alternative screw that has something else attached to it, and he doesn’t want that other bit. “I just want my 2.3 Inch ecto-titanium screw, Perry the platypus! It makes me so mad, just like those lunch deals where you have to buy a piece of fruit. I don’t want a banana! Don’t make me buy a banana! Anyway,” He sighed wearily, and for once Perry found that he sort of agreed. “So I made THIS! The base component-inator! Everything I shoot with this with be divided up into the things it makes up.” And then to prove it he shoots a packet of pre-marinated sausages and he gets a loose sausage and a packet of sauce.

So they fight, right? And Doof throws his platypus nemesis straight into the beam and BWAM! Big explosion, smoke everywhere etc.

When the smoke clears, Heinz is shocked to find a (dead?) brown platypus on the floor. And although he knows he is bad at recognizing Perry, he is sure that’s not Perry. And then he hears something else, and there is also a very confused, very beautiful, naked man on his floor., who doesn’t know anything for sure anymore. But he knows that he is Perry.

The rest of the fic would be about Perry and Heinz working together to figure out what OWCA had done to their agents. Where the human subjects came from. What to do about all the other OWCA agents, etc.

Meanwhile, Phin and Ferb are looking for their pet platypus, and Perry has no clue how to tell them.

I had 2 ideas; one where Perry could have Doof rewind the inator so he could be a platypus whilst he figured it all out.

Or the other where the platypus is straight-up dead, and Perry is stuck in his human body, forced to stay with Heinz.

(yes, of course they are in love.)

[thecountoflondonfansite]

Two Brains drove surprisingly calm this time down the roads. It made Henry and Hyde somewhat nervous. Both noticed the grim expression on the mad scientist’s face. “Is everything alright, dearest?” Henry asked with concern. Two Brains didn’t immediately respond and seemed to ponder on what he should say. He seemed to relent as he began to respond to his boyfriend’s question. “Honestly, I’m not…and you won’t be as well. The truth is, I gave a half truth about our lunch date. I’ll stop by somewhere and pick us something to-go, but I’m taking you to my warehouse. The chaotic four and I need to talk to you about Lucian.” Two Brains admitted. Henry looked shocked. He understood why Two Brains gave a lie earlier since there were other people around including Amber. For pete’s sake he nor Edward mentioned Lucian to Rachel yet. “Did he bother ye as well today?” Henry asked in a worried tone. Two Brains looked alarmed by Henry’s question. “Not me, but that’s not important right now. What do you mean by today?” Two Brains asked, looking just about as panicked as Henry and Hyde even though he couldn’t see him. “Well ah unfortunately ran into Lucian at the park earlier. Ah was taking Amber there to play because she had a terrible nightmare last night about her experience. Ah was trying to make her feel better. Luckily, Adrian came by and scared Lucian off. Turns out he is part vampire as well. Ah asked Adrian to stay with us until we had to leave so Lucian wouldn’t try coming back. Unfortunately, Tobey had launched his robots to attack because he was upset with Gabriel and was worried about me when ah didn’t come to class today. Ah asked Adrian to take Amber back to the apartment while ah tried to convince Tobey to calm down. Luckily he did, but then his mother came and took him away. She was quite cross with him. Wordgirl took me back to the apartment but Adrian had already left by the time we arrived. Wordgirl returned back to school by the time ye called me.” Dr. Two Brains was feeling a mix of worry, relief, anger and irritation after Henry told him his story. “I’m glad you’re okay and Lucian didn’t hurt you or Amber. I just wish you wouldn’t risk your life again even if it was to help Tobey.” Two Brains exclaimed. Henry gave him a sheepish smile. “Rachel already gave me a lecture about that. Ah honestly feel bad for Tobey and consequently his mother. Ah know it’s not me place to judge others parenting, but ah feel Tobey and his mother are having a hard time compromising on how to help him properly express his emotions through non violent means. He is a brilliant child, but he doesn’t have to use his robots for nefarious deeds.” Two Brains was amazed and moved by Henry’s concern for the kid, just another reason why he loved that man. “Mrs. McCallsiter isn’t honestly a bad parent. I met her a few times and she does love her son. It’s not the villainy she gets frustrated with mainly, it’s the bills and complaints she receives from Tobey’s destructive rampages that get her mad. Tobey does love his mom as well even though he is also terrified of her anger. She definitely does a much better job than her ex husband could ever do.” Two Brains remarked with a huff. Henry looked surprised. He hadn’t met Tobey’s father and assumed his parents were either divorce or it was similar to Becky’s situation with an absent or dead parent. “Ah never met Tobey’s father. Does Mr. Mcallister live in Fair City or not?” Henry inquired, momentarily forgetting about Lucian. Two Brains winced as he realized he admitted too much and he knew Henry would not like his answer. “His last name isn’t McCallister, it’s Claire’s maiden name."

Henry felt devastated for his oldest friend. "That's absolutely horrible. I can't possibly imagine what Robert is going through. Even though he had issues with his father, this would no doubt affect him greatly.” His heart ached for Robert. Having lost his father due to a murder. Who could've done that? Was it the same person who attempted to kill Mr. Danvers Carew with the fire which Hyde got framed for? “You said it seemed personal. Why do you say that, old friend?” The lawyer took a moment to answer. “The murder was grisly and there wasn't anything stolen from the crime scene. It sounded more than just a robbery gone wrong. If it was truly that, expensive items would've been missing yet it all remained. I'm honestly shocked that Robert never told you. You two were always so close. Practically inseparable from college.” Henry looked visibly uncomfortable and solemn due to what his friend had said. “Thank you for telling me this. I do hope Robert will tell me about this on his own time. I won't force him or rush him.” Gabriel nodded at that. “Are you going to tell him?” The teacher seemed hesitant to answer that. “I will, once he has his own problems sorted. I would rather not add onto his problems with my own.” While it was true, Henry also didn't want to make things more complicated for Robert. He knew that his best friend had HJ7 and possibly could have ingested it. Leading to his own soul being split. It would only stress him out which could lead to his possible version of Hyde to get better control over him. It would only serve as ammo Robert's counterpart could use against him. “That is quite understandable. You two have been through a lot. Also considering the incident with your former employee. Mr. Hyde. It's been so stressful for both of you.” Hyde felt nervous whenever Gabriel would mention him. It felt like he could so easily uncover who he truly was to Henry. It was why he never appeared around him either. It's not that they didn't trust him. Not at all. As crazy as Hyde thought he was, he didn't want to possibly lose a friend he technically never met. He actually liked Gabriel and knew that the lies Henry kept would hurt the man deeply. It was a shared fear between Henry and Edward. “Thank you for understanding that, Gabriel. Also thank you for helping me.” Gabriel offered him a warm smile. “Of course. I would do anything for my dearest friends.” It troubled Henry. Why didn't Robert say anything about his father? Yet again, Robert did keep it a secret that he had a vial of HJ7 too. Becky looked confused, she had known about the murder of Dr. Lanyons father before he did. She was sure he would've known. Before the young girl could think about it further, she heard a voice calling for her. It was her uncle's voice. She listened to him calling, luckily Gabriel was too occupied with Henry to notice that. She went over to her father and tugged at his sleeve. Making Dr.Two-Brains lean over so she could whisper into his ear. “Dad, Uncle Alan is calling me. It sounds really urgent, I'll be back as soon as possible.” The mad scientist seemed reluctant to let her leave but nodded. “Alright, please don't take too long. Be careful.” With that said, Becky left. The moment she was alone, checking to make sure it was safe, Becky transformed and flew straight to Alan's and Hugh's apartment. She wondered why he called for her instead of going there himself. It must've been something serious. When she arrived, Becky went to the apartment she knew they resided in. Giving the door a couple of knocks before it was answered by Alan. Behind him were the other three of the four. “Uncle Alan? What are the others doing here?” His expression remained stoic. “We wanted to tell you something. We need you to tell your dad to turn his phone on. We have urgent information to tell him. Something has happened. We need to tell him what as well as the information we gained from it.”

Becky looked alarmed at what her uncle had just said. "Does it have something to do with Dr. Barriton?" Becky inquired as she remembered her dad telling her about the blonde scientist. Becky never really met him since the guy was fired when she was a baby. Her dad did describe him as an absolute narcissus and prick who was Athena's cousin. Becky didn't hold it against anyone to be related to that psycho woman since her twin brother Eris was a good person. She held the man's character and lack of morals against him. Alan shook his head. "No, it wasn't Calvin. Have you heard any of the adults speak of a Lucian Bennett?" Alan asked his niece. Becky pondered the question a bit and shook her head. "Not really, no." She answered. "Who is he?" The four looked at each other, not really sure how to explain. Hugh decided to speak about the man and his encounter to a degree. "We are not entirely sure who Lucian is as a person, but we know he is like Edward Hyde. By that, I mean he is the counterpart of someone who took the HJ7 formula." Becky's eyes widened at Hugh's explanation. There was someone out there who had their own Mr. Hyde! "Does Dr. Jekyll know about Lucian?" Becky asked in an urgent tone. The others gave a nod. "Yeah, he is aware of Lucian. He is also aware of the man having his own variation of the HJ7 formula though he isn't entirely sure how it is possible." Jenkins explained. "Listen, Becky. We really need to get in touch with your dad. It's difficult to explain but Lucian had nearly gotten physical with Hugh. We need to tell your dad what we know and what happened. Alan couldn't fly to Henry's house since it would have caused some alarm and we know the others are still recovering from Athena's attack. That is why he contacted you." Patricia explained in a serious tone. Becky nodded as she understood the gravity of the situation. "Okay, I'll get my dad." The heroine then took off back to Dr. Jekyll's apartment. "Where did your daughter run off too?" Gabriel asked. "Oh, she remembered she had to go outside and call her uncle Alan and let him know she couldn't spend the night at his and Hugh's home this Friday since personal things came up." Dr Two Brains quickly explained. Utterson looked surprised at the response. "She had to take her phone call outside." The lawyer exclaimed with a slightly suspicious tone. Two Brains internally panicked. 'Why can't this guy be as dumb as the rest of the civilians in this city.' "Oh well it was special bonding family thing they had this weekend though Becky is no longer feeling up to it. She and her uncle Alan have unique traditions that are not meant for other ears to hear. It shouldn't take to long for Becky to speak with Alan." Two Brains exclaimed. Henry seemed to catch onto the hidden meaning of his boyfriends' words and decided to help cover for him. "It's a strange but endearing characteristic that my boyfriend's family has. They like to keep their personal businesses private, even if it is just regular, family matters." Henry added. Gabriel looked a bit confused but quickly shook it off for now. "If you say so, Henry." He then turned to Dr. Two Brains. "So your brother is dating Dr. Mann?" Gabriel asked Two Brains shook his head. "No, Alan is dating Hugh, but he isn't my brother. He is technically my brother-in-law. He is Becky's mom's sibling." The mad scientist corrected. In what seemed to be a short amount of time, Becky returned inside. "Hey, kiddo. How did your talk with Uncle Alan go on the phone?" Dr. Two Brains inquired. Becky greeted her dad with a smile but Two Brains and Henry could tell that it was faked. "It went well, but he wanted me to let you know to turn on your phone. Hugh and the other four have been trying to reach you and see how you were doing." Becky respond. Two Brains looked embarrassed and quickly pulled out his phone to turn it on. His eyes widened as he saw the missed calls. "Oops. Sorry. I turned my phone off because I was having a conversation with Henry and didn't want to be disturbed." Two Brains exclaimed. @unhingedexperimenter

[countess-of-edessa]

the world is so fucked up and i can't help but think the damage is irreparable when i see people talking about how unusual and prudish it is to wait six to ten dates before having sex with someone. ten dates??? roughly like twenty five hours of interaction????? ten old timer burgers and mango iced teas from chilis equals sex?????? the possibility of pregnancy, STDs, emotional devastation, lifelong consequences, not to mention just straight up the possibility of getting murdered, with a STRANGER you have hung out with for maybe like two months???? and that's a LONG TIME???? and if you feel weird about that and don't want to do that that makes you NOT HETEROSEXUAL????? THATS AN ORIENTATION???? BECAUSE ITS SO OUTSIDE OF THE NORM OF HUMAN BEHAVIOR ????? i hate all of you i hate you i hate you i hate you every day i hate and I hate and I hate you

[hecksupremechips]

Mizuki and Date though like. Imagine being 8 and your parents are filthy rich and going through a bad divorce. Your mom treats you like shit, lashing out at you, hitting you, saying she wishes you were never born all because you were behaving like a child. Your dad is more comforting, but he doesn’t do anything to stop the abuse and he spends his time invested in a completely different family, a girl who you love and look up to but he loves her more than you and it fucking shows. Then your dads new friend, some fucking bachelor in his late 20s, is just like "wow you guys are the worst fucking parents ive ever seen" and next thing you know your dad is sending you off to live with him. And it’s just a massive kick in the head cuz you go from a rich lifestyle to living in some really shitty tiny ass apartment with this guy who’s clearly never been around a child in his entire life and he doesn’t know how to behave and does a really bad job of censoring himself like he has a bunch of dirty magazines that he can’t hide very well cuz it’s literally a studio apartment and also he talks to himself sometimes, it’s really weird. He doesn’t even have the slightest clue what he’s doing

And he’s the best parent you’ve ever had

Because fuck, it all really hurts. You have to cope with having never received any love from anyone, and with the fact that your parents clearly don’t want you and can’t even be bothered to send you with anyone even kinda responsible. And this guy has a scary job with crazy hours and you don’t know anything about him and neither does he. But still, he never once hits you or tells you you’re not allowed to cry. He just gives you space and doesn’t push you to feel any sort of way about him. And sometimes, he’s even kind. He makes you some stew, even though it’s a bit chunky. He lets you sleep in the bed and takes the couch for himself, even though he complains about the massive back pain he’d never trade his spot for a second. He pays attention to events at your school and gives you your favorite stuffed animal when you make good grades, even though you called it ugly. He gets worried sick when you come home with bruises and puts on a goofy voice and trains you to defend yourself and you develop some highly deadly skills and even though it’s really abnormal, he buys you a bench press so you can get stronger. There’s this distance there, and you feel really weird caring about someone who you aren’t related to, but you find yourself wishing it was meant to be like this all along, that maybe, he’s secretly your real dad and he loves you like his real daughter

And when you say "I’m back" he says "welcome home"

[agalychnisspranneusroseus]

Got any trans HCs for the amphibia trio? I love the many different interpretations I've seen from this fandom

I don't know about specific headcanons, I know I'm considering making Anne trans in RiAAU but I haven't decided yet.

In one hand: it would be interesting to think how she deals with her first periods because, well, amphibians don't have those, and Hop Pop assumes she's dying (she doesn't tell anyone else because she's so embarrassed). Not that he tells her that, but it really freaks him out. He thinks she has some sort of internal damage, and it's only after months of research that he finds out about some rare mammalian species, such as a few monkeys and rodents, that experience the same cycle Anne goes through. The whole point of this is that it makes Anne feel even more out-of-place. She doesn't remember her world or her parents, only that she came from "somewhere" (possibly another continent) full of people of her species, and she wonders if things would have been easier if she grew up with her biological family. I mean, surely this would be easier. It just serves as a reminder that she knows nothing about her species, not even its name, and she has no idea of how her biology works or what is good and bad for her or how long she'll live or what changes she'll go through.

.

BUT, on the other hand: Trans Anne. Let's start with the obvious: amphibians don't have penises or vaginas and they reproduce externally, meaning they like... release eggs and sperm in the water and they mix without the involvement of either parent, meaning no one knows what the cultural significance of a "penis" or a "vagina" tends to be in most human cultures. As a literaly 3yo, Anne probably didn't have an extensive understanding of s.ex and gender, and it wasn't like the clothes she showed up with told Hop Pop much. She just knew that, as time went on, she found herself relating more and more to the female frogs of Wartwood, and she almost subconsciously began to refer to herself as a girl. There wasn't any big coming out moment, more like a point in which, after months of ambiguity (this kid kept using different pronouns for herself) she just settled on some good ol' she/her and began picking somewhat girly clothes when Hop Pop took her to the market.

It's not like the concept of trans people doesn't exist in Amphibia, it's just that Anne didn't realize that was her situation until, at least, meeting Marcy, and noticing the differences between them. It's not like either of them had ever seen another human from up close, so they didn't know what to expect anyway. Anne's only encounters with Sasha beforehand had consisted on magical girl swordfighting in the sky and whatnot. Certainly not enough to discuss their unique biology, which is something Marcy is very excited to discuss, since she's never met anyone with her same "condition" before, and she wants to know everything, so she uses her as her little rat lab whenever she has the chance. Even then, since she also lacks all knowledge of human s.exual dimorphism and its cultural implications, she doesn't associate anything about either of their bodies to any specific gender that could possibly be asigned to anyone based on biological feautures. Since Sasha remembers the most from Earth, she's probably the only one who could maybe possibly remeber her mom or the kindergarden teacher saying something about "the difference between boys and girls", but by the point she's in speaking terms with Anne, and by the time she realizes their bodies are different, she doesn't really care.

That's not to say Anne doesn't experience dysphoria or that she never undergoes any kind of physical transition. It was probably around the time her voice started to change during puberty that she realized her case may be kinda unique: neither Marcy nor Sasha's voices have changed that much, she can tell even though she only sees Marcy in person like once every 3 years and all the words she exchanges with Sasha consist of death threats and insults. Plus, there's a clear difference between """male""" and """female""" voiced in frogs too. She doesn't want to sound like a man! She doesn't want to be anything like a man! Men are gross! Sorry Sprig, Hop Pop, but it's true. Men are icky icky yuck yuck and Anne is a girly girl. She doesn't want to turn into Stumpy! Or Buff Loggle! Oh, no, is that her future? She commits the triple mistake of 1) sending a letter to Marcy that same day, 2) knocking on Maddies' door promising her firstborn if she can save her from turning into Stumpy, and 3) she becomes obsessed researching mammalian biology in the archives. Bad decision. Bad bad. She's discovering things to feel dysphoric about she never even knew existed! Did you know mammalian mothers feed their offsprings with "milk" that comes from their "mammary glands"? Did Sasha and Marcy have those? She hates herself a little for checking out Marcy next time she sees her and she realizes that, indeed, in the past years she's grown a pair of those that Anne does NOT have. She notes that both she and Sasha are pretty much hairless. She used to think hair was a normal mammalian trait! That weasel that tries to eat the frogs every winter sure is covered in it!

Maddie shows up to her door with a bunch of new spells to try out, happy to have a willing subject. Most embarrassingly, Marcy starts doing her own research as soon as she gets Anne's letter and sends her all her discoveries, and now Anne feels mortified because Marcy knows about all the bad bad very bad changes she's going through (Marcy, for her part, is just fascinated by the nature of their "condition").

It takes a bit, but after a few very frenzied weeks, Anne comes to understad what's going on: her species had certain level of sexual dimorphism and she just happened to have been born with the supposed "sex" usually associated with "men" as a social category. When Hop Pop finds out, he burst into laughter. Oh, it was THAT all along! Anne made it sound so complicated, but it was just the same things he went through when he was younger, just the other way around ("Say what now Hop Pop?")! A few curses here and there and she won't have to worry about these so called "mammary glands" and "hair" anymore, though in the meantime, as Maddie perfects a human-friendly curse, she gets turned into all sort of different creatures. By the time it's done, she just wants to feel like... herself.

It's true that there are some things about her body that make her feel weird, like they don't quite fit in, but there are others she only worries about because she compared herself to Sasha and Marcy, which wasn't fair to anyone involved. Did she really want to fundamentally change parts of her body because of insecurities she developed last week over a book about lemurs? Then, a second set of fears come in: what will happen when she goes back to her place of origin? Because she does want to find her birth family. Will they recognize her, if they're looking for a boy? Will they think she's lying if she claims to be their daughter? If she changes only a few things but doesn't "go all the way", will people there think she's a freak? Will she ever be able to fit in with those of her species?

Does she really care so much about what other people think? She just wants to be herself. Some of the changes she's been going through are making her feel less like herself and more like she's being turned into a tax collector from Toad Tower. Those things have to go - her voice, for example. And she wants a more femenine silhouette (she may or may not show Maddie photos of young Mrs. Croaker as a reference). She wants a softer face. She's seeing her face changing in the mirror and she doesn't like it. She wants it to stay round and soft, not to grow hard and sharp or big and rough. She's not so sure she wants those "mammary glands". It's not like she ever thought about having kids, and the whole "breastfeeding" thing just seems gross, but after her research, and finding out she could have kids with, I don't know, maybe Marcy one day (a thought that makes her blush), she thinks it may be a good idea. She'll consider it. Maybe later. Her genitalia... well, she's used to what she has now. It already took her like 10 years to fully figure out what it was and how it worked and starting over with a whole new set just feels like too much work (also, the babies, the potential babies with Marcy). Frogs and toads have neither "penises" or "vaginas" so there's not a lot of information, and based on books about lemurs and her own empirical experience, comparing herself to other mammalian species isn't too useful. She'll leave it the way it is. She'll see if there's anything else she wants to change later, or if she wants to go back on something.

Marcy is surprised next time Anne visits Newtopia. In her letters, she described this strange transformation in excruciating detail, but seeing her in person now, holding her face in her hands, all she sees is the same Anne she's always loved.

A few more ideas:

HEADCANON: in Amphibia, two people of the same "s.ex" can reproduce through magic, which means there has to be a concious effort and intent. The external fertilization process there's no such thing as a pregnancy, and there's no such thing as s.ex. All reproduction is intentional, which means there's no need for abortion either. There are processes to destroy fertilized eggs and embryos, but they look completely different from human abortions.

Amphibians may perform acts resembling s.ex for pleasure or fun but they look different from human s.ex and have no relation to reproduction.

Andrias is the only person in Amphibia who knows enough about humans to know how they reproduce (a process he finds repulsive). He never tells Marcy, of course, though once she becomes queen, she finds his secret library and his hidden tomes on "alien biology", some of which talk about humans. He's also the only one who knows humans can have children on accident, and that Anne is the only human in Amphibia who could cause something like that to happen (he reads all of Marcy's correspondence). He knows his daughter is very close to this weird farm girl penpal of hers, and even though she's still a child, he worries for her future and the future of the crown. This new discovery could land the crown in the hands of a dynasty of aliens if he's not careful. Is it weird that he spends so much time worrying about his 12yo daughter getting pregnant from another 12yo? Yes, yes it is, but he already controls every aspect of her life, it's not like he's going to stop at her sexuality, future, real, or imaginary.

Man now that I wrote it all down, I think this option is more compelling than the first. Maybe I WILL go with this one.

[al-luviec]

still haven't moved on from zane in this episode (aka I hit tag limit again and am unhappy about it)

[dairyfreenugget]

I could count the amount of original stories of mine that don't have horror elements on one hand and idk what that says about me

[selfinflictedgunshotwound]

having twin peaks thoughts & theories bc i just started watching the return (i know spoilers ofc) and i have literally nowhere else to put my thoughts so i'm just gonna dump them here.

obviously i don't every single thing about twin peaks was meant to just be like... One Thing and that's it. i think there's room for interpretation for a reason butttt the one thing i just keep going back to about the show is just that. like. it's about the corruption of innocence and the perversion of family. of cycles of violence and abuse. children being sexually taken advantage of by "trusted" adults. teenage prostitution rings. barely a single relationship in the town wherein people aren't cheating on someone/cheated in the past. bob being "the evil that men do" (tbf this is technically just albert's theory but i choose to believe it) and now this weird thing with judy/the experiment (are they the same thing? idk yet) being the thing that CREATED bob? there's this weird thing i get with the black lodge/waiting room like... good people can't survive there without disappearing completely (nonexistence) or being permanently changed (in the case of annie, ig)

and then ofc you have the tormented souls being trapped there (laura, maddy, caroline(tbh idk what was going on w her doppelganger being there?), leland(he was originally a victim too, i'm getting there)) because of the things that were done TO them. i was thinking like. in regards to the frogmoth that crawled into sarah's mouth (when she was a child) and everything that's going on w/ her in the return (watching insanely violent things on tv, "eating" men, etc.) ... compounded with leland's story about bob "I was just a boy. I saw him in my dreams. He said he - he wanted to play. He opened me and I invited him and he came inside me." ... mr. c's introduction song being a twisted version of "american woman" (i've heard this is also related to diane's doppelganger, as well. makes sense) w/ the stand-out lyrics (aka the backwards ones) being "all my headstrong women... don't let em put you in a corner. make em salute you like a flag on the fourth of july." and sarah palmer having a shortened and remixed version of "good man" blaring in her house that just repeats the lyrics "i'm a good man. i'm having fun." like. there's smth to this i'm not insane...

anyways to go even FURTHER... there being specific emphasis on being in the right time and the right place. opposites (giant and dwarf, young and old, black and white, etc.) and the planets jupiter and saturn.

the experiment violently killing that couple that was watching the glass box bc they were having sex? or because they were(n't) watching? or both? the experiment very obviously being the thing inside of sarah but it pulling off it's own face within sarah and revealing a smile that looks eerily similar to laura's (even if not exact... ppl are such pedants about things being exact in this show where literally everything is drenched in like 8 metaphors at any given time) AND the laura in the black lodge/waiting room removing her own face in the exact same way. it's weird that in this instance, laura's dialectical opposite or opposing force is her own mother who she claims she has so much in common with. but this goes even a step further because when the experiment spawned in the glass box, it has a gold orb (or smth like it) like the one laura's like... spirit? was born from? AND APPARENTLY there's a little clip of what sounds like sheryl lee's voice saying "gone" or "the one" or something like that while the experiment is flying towards them (not unlike an owl) to kill them... hm. not to mention the experiment has a proboscis-like knife that comes out of its mouth that it uses to kill the guy sexually harrassing sarah at the bar... and carrie page has a dead guy in her motel room that has a hole in his head... could obviously def just be a bullet-wound LMAO but idk let's have fun w it!

i do think there's a crazy connection between sarah, laura, and the experiment/judy/whatever. "the room seems different... and men are coming. something happened to me. i don't feel good..." obviously, i will be able to make more connections and add to this theory as i watch more but from what i've seen i think there's a huge connection to children and how easily it is for them to be taken advantage of (literally every member of the palmer family was taken advantage of as a child when an evil entity entered them. i mean. how more on the nose can you be!!) or for their innocence to get stolen (prostitution, drugs, murder, becoming child brides to abusive older men... the list goes on). and there's obvious themes of intense sexual violence and dreams and blahhhh. it's like 5:30am and i'm theorizing about a show that will never have an actual answer LMAO... to be fair though it's not ABOUT actually "solving" it for me. i think most media works well when you get what you want or need from it and just kind of make that The Point and, for me, twin peaks will always be about the tragedy of laura palmer before it's about anything else!

i really do like that theory that dale cooper is just like. an entity that laura dreamed up to save her originally but in the end, after she had finally escaped being laura palmer and that life and that house and her trauma, he ended up bringing her right back to it. it's like. how does that not make people insane?

[uselessnbee]

saw my favorite bylers talk about the relationship between Mike and Joyce again and now i just can't stop thinking about it

not just if she saw the airport fiasco but what if she saw the conflict between willelmike

or after they're all finally in hawkins again maybe she saw there's something going on and asked Jonathan and he told her some things he knew he could let her know

and then she comes to Mike and he expects it. he expects her to be angry to start criticising him cause he fucked up and hurts everyone and he knew this was coming but god does it hurt. this is the woman that feels like a second mother to him the woman that sometimes feels more like a mother to him then his actual mom and he knows being criticised by her is going to be the last straw and a part of him is dreading this but a part of him also thinks he deserves this. of course he does he fucked up he's the bad guy he hurt people he hurt her children she loves more than anything of course he deserves this

so he can take it. it will hurt. it will be like a punch in the face but he can take it it's what happens after that's the real question

but Joyce just smiles at him so gently and asks if he's doing okay. if everything is alright if something is going on. she tells him she cares about him and she knows he's been through a lot but if he needs her she's here for him. if he needs to talk she will listen if he just needs someone to be there for him she will be and she's just so caring and gentle and loving to Mike and Mike just. fucking. breaks.

he doesn't even remember when was the last time someone treated him this way like his feelings matter like he matters and he just can't help it. someone finally sees more than his snarkiness. someone finally sees more than him being a jerk. someone finally sees there's something more going on. someone finally sees the pain behind it and cares enough to actually ask him of he's okay and so he just lets himself cry in front of someone for the first time in years

[youremyonlyhope]

why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up

[sysig]

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