#there are so many lives that I totally have no interest in viewing
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That guy in the van has more of a social media presence than he realizes.
#I reference the pic of your boyfriend with his giant fucking dog in that van in the bacm#me: hey Serious looks like WT kinda and you're like: yeah#I suppose I have always been happy to see the stars at night#they understand I have a lot going on down here I think#me later: man I shouldn't have nerfed myself so hard in emotions(haha)#I know I have at least one witness of all the rage I have kept to a simmering heat#I am trying to figure out the deal with the cleaning lady#It is close but I can't quite put my finger on it#it's a headache but it's not a leave this realm to go and.....how....kind of headaches#that was more my crown decided to open up and I am sure it was you calling#it that place perhaps I disregard time or whatever meaning it will form#the twin by twin cube#me: oh God not another one#Like suck me off until I figure it out#I promise to visualize#it won't work if I am doing stuff to you#I'd be like here visualize this all up in you right now#yes ma'am I demonstrate with proof of fit and agriculture#my only advice to you going into that class is look pretty#that mother fucker will do the reat#I appreciate the visual representation of dry(not counting grool)to suddenly not#oh ... I could smell you were turned on whether I knew it or not#one day I caught a whiff of tobacco smoke on you and I puzzled over that because it was crowded and a few smokers in the room#I'm like I wonder if she would like to do a split over me while she smokes a fag#dire straits last night#pardon me did he just say faggots#twice now yup he did#master 11 of the wizard side perhaps#that relationship also goes beyond time I suspect#there are so many lives that I totally have no interest in viewing
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#I get tired of people trying to explain what lens I should view the world through; what way I could think that would make everything better#forgive me but I don't care; I do what I do and I do what I can and you don't see the work I do under the hood#I don't want advice on self validation or whatever; I want... I want someone to hold a mirror up so I can actually see myself#by which I mean I want input on how I'm doing; if it's good enough; if it's worth anything; if anything I make is good#everyone things I'm nice; everyone has always thought I'm nice#but given nice leaves me profoundly isolated I don't think I care#not to mention in my opinion what nice in this instance means is that I'm capable of listening#it's mostly that I have manners rather than some quality about me#I'm well behaved and polite and can listen; and that's perceived as nice or even sweet#and it's not like I'm offended by people seeing me that way; but maybe you can get why... I can't do anything with that information#but if I'm doing enough... if I provide any value to the world... I might have heard that less times in my life than years I've lived#that's where I'm totally blind#people don't tend to offer any input; and also people don't tend to let me know what they're thinking#and I in fact am not a mind reader; I can often accurately infer things; but no of that means a thing till it's confirmed#and... well... hopefully no one reads the stupid shit I say and especially not the tags so this is safe and hidden#but truthfully people just like to hear that stuff they're doing is wanted and matters#and I do not#I don't know... gotta go do more cleaning cause I need to#and I have no idea if... I've got a reason for fighting so hard to clean; but I get very little input so... I expect... well...#and thankfully I don't think they read my tags so I can say this#but I really expect they won't take me up on my offer to come out here and get away from their parents; so there will be no pay off#not that I blame them in the slightest... it's just the only possible pay off for this cleaning would be helping someone I like out#and a scrap of company#but then again... in many ways anyone coming out to live with me is the worst thing they could probably do#sorry... I have a rather bleak outlook on many things surrounding myself purely cause of what I infer from the past#there is never pay off; only more shit I need to get done#I will never be loved; I will never be wanted; I will always just kinda be an afterthought that's occasionally worth venting to#no one will ever be particularly interested in anything I'm interested while I'll chase their interests or at least try to#certainly let them talk about them when they want#...though I take that over my normal total isolation... better to at least be permitted to follow in someone's shadow than have nothing
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ੈ✩‧₊˚ TALES OF CANDOR (LN4)
pairing: lando norris x f!author!reader
summary: lando’s girlfriend has a secret identity. she’s not quite the girl next door everyone assumed, and he might just be the inspiration for more than just her instagram captions.
warnings: some hate comments
* faceclaim: mélanie, aka wailcester on ig (please imagine her as you see fit)
ੈ✩‧₊˚ landonorris just posted a photo
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landonorris some days @ home
👤 tagged yourusername
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user i hope ur enjoying ur time off!
user no hate but like what does his gf actually do?
user literally nothing she’s jobless💀
user it’s giving🏅👷♀️
user lando i love u but half naked pics of ur girl isn’t helping how much we dislike her…
user what’s she reading!!!
yourusername a thousand splendid suns by khaled hosseini!!
user ofc u are. i totally believe u acc read well written books. u probably just read gossip columns but want to seem interesting🙄
ੈ✩‧₊˚ musingsofcandor just posted a photo
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musingsofcandor biscuit approves of the final draft🤍
👤 tagged acatcalledbiscuit
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user HELLO??? CANDOR DOES THIS MEAN WE R GETTING A NEW BOOK
user i love that we know more abt candy’s cat than we do her…
user can’t wait to read it🥹🥹
rickriordan has to be my favorite thing you’ve written!
user RICK’S READ IT??? OH YOU KNOW ITS GOOD
user lando norris in the likes he’s just like all of us fr
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yourusername ‘when she finally got the camera film developed, seeing his face made it all come rushing back’🦋🫧🧚🏻
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user im sorry i know we r meant to be supportive but she annoys me sm. is she just living off of lando’s money?
user omg the caption!!!
user i recognise it, where’s it from?
user it’s from ‘tales of peter rourke’ by candor!!!
user 🤢
user we get it… ur dating someone rich. now get a job!
ੈ✩‧₊˚ mclaren interview
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[captions:
interviewer: what have you been up to in your break?
lando: a lot of lounging around with my girlfriend. read a few books too!
interviewer: anything good?
lando: i’m really into magical reality at the moment! that kind of it’s all normal till it’s not stuff, you know?
interviewer: any good recommendations?
lando: if you like that same genre, i recommend ‘the right side of upside’ by candor! it’s pretty recent, i finished it last week.]
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user he likes candor??? he’s so real for that
user KNEW I COULD TRUST HIM
user bad taste in women good taste in books
ੈ✩‧₊˚ musingsofcandor just posted a photo
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musingsofcandor thank you for all the love lately on ‘the right side of upside’. insane seeing so many of you recommend it, biscuit and i are eternally grateful. love, candy🤍
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user QUEEN DID YOU SEE LANDO RECOMMENDED IT
user CANDY HAS A MAN???
user love u forever ur so talented
user CANT WAIT TO SEE WHAT YOU DO NEXT. CANT BELIEVE WE HAVE TO WAIT NOW
musingsofcandor it might be sooner than you think ;)
user UM. candor is this a soft launch?????
ੈ✩‧₊˚ landonorris just posted a photo
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landonorris got some super helpful race advice today
👤 tagged acatnamedbiscuit, musingsofcandor
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user OH MY GOD MY WORLDS ARE COLLIDING
user LANDO WE NEED TO KNOW EVERYTHING IS SHE CUTE I FEEL LIKE SHES CUTE
user break up w ur gf and date candor when
musingsofcandor biscuit says he can’t be held responsible for the outcome🐾
landonorris can i hold you responsible instead, candy?
user UHHHH WHATS GOING ON HERE
user i just know y/n is feeling THREATENED
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yourusername all mine
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user LMAOOO U STARTED SWEATING HUH
user candor could steal ur man if she really wanted to
user GIRL YOU’RE SO OBVIOUS
landonorris yours🖤
user STOP LYINGGGG
ੈ✩‧₊˚ an exclusive interview with candor : entertainment weekly
interviewer: so candor! tell us how it really feels having the world at your feet!
candor: [laughing] honestly quite normal! it’s a blessing and a curse, really, not having my identity revealed. i get to live my life without those pressures, but i don’t get to see anyone and thank them for reading!
interviewer: do you ever get the urge to approach someone reading one of your books?
candor: all the time! whenever i go browsing in book stores and see someone looking at or buying mine, i have such a temptation to scream THANK YOU at them!
interviewer: do you see a future in which you reveal your identity?
candor: maybe! there are a few of my fans who know who i am, those who attend the secret events and signings, but i’m very lucky that they all respect my privacy and haven’t shared anything further. perhaps one day soon i’ll finally let everyone in on the secret.
interviewer: and we can’t talk to you and not bring up your cat — or rather, who your cat met the other day…?
candor: oh! i’m assuming you mean lando norris? yes! he’s a pretty good friend of mine, he’s been a big support over the last few years and we found some time in our schedules last week to meet up.
interviewer: so you’re a formula 1 fan?
candor: huge fan! i’m a big mclaren girl so lando and i met through their events!
interviewer: oh fantastic! see folks reading this, she really is just like us!
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yourusername cars going vroom vroom makes my heart go boom boom
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user lmao posting before and after candor’s interview. girl ur not subtle.
user im so sorry but ur clearly so threatened it’s hilarious
user i don’t get all the hate in here??? she’s just in love n happy?
user shes a gold digger
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ੈ✩‧₊˚ musingsofcandor just posted a photo
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musingsofcandor told you it wouldn’t be long🫧 ‘thomasin jeffe, the cat, and the diplomat’ will be with you next friday. a lot of love poured into this one over the past few years, i just couldn’t wait any longer to give it to you🤍
already a member on my website? check your emails🦋
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user WHDHSJSJSJSJS
user OH MY GOD ITS HAPPENING
user THE EMAILLLLL🥹
user candy omg where do you live that looks so pretty!!!!
musingsofcandor monaco !!
landonorris 🖤
user lando using the black heart and candor using the white… i’m sorry to his gf (not really) but they’re meant to be
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user the best day of my life!!! thank you so much candor for being the absolute sweetest human and taking time to talk to each and every one of us! i cannot wait to read thomasin jeffe, the cat, and the diplomat🥹🤍
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user YOU MET HERRRRE???
user WHO IS SHE TELL TELL TELL
user candor asks us not to share her identity so i’m gonna respect that but LET ME TELL YOU I WAS SHOCKED
user i recognise her from just that inch of her face but i can’t tell whERE FROM
musingsofcandor it was WONDERFUL to meet you! i hope you enjoy the story🤍
user wish people on twitter were as kind as this,,, there’s photos of her going around :/
ੈ✩‧₊˚ f1wags just posted a photo
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f1wags the internet has been in PIECES after famous author candor’s recent book signing. photos have emerged of the popular anonymous author from the event, revealing her to be none other than LANDO NORRIS’ GIRLFRIEND, Y/N! turns out, she has a job after all👀 (pictures taken from y/n’s instagram!)
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user i… cannot believe this
user see. when y’all were hating on her you were secretly worshipping her
user @ everyone who was an arse to y/n… KARMA IS A BITCH!
user WHAT????
user HOLY SHIT LANDO HAS BEEN DATING MY FAV AUTHOR THIS WHOLE TIME????
ੈ✩‧₊˚ yourusername just posted a photo
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yourusername well. the secrets out. it’s been a long few years, but it’s nice to not have to hold it in any more.
both my accounts will remain active for separate purposes, but i’m excited to be able to introduce you to candor as she is in her whole truth — just like her name suggests🤍
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user ironically this is exactly how i picture marian elsie from thomasine jeffe looking. full fairy
user i am. so sorry. so so so sorry. i know nothing can ever compare for the things we said but i really am
yourusername thank you. no hard feelings on my end🤍
ੈ✩‧₊˚ landonorris just posted a photo
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landonorris my candy. it may not have been how you intended, but i’m glad i get to show off how proud of you i am.
i’ve watched you as both candor and y/n for a while now, and i love both versions of you entirely. i cannot wait to see what you do now you have the freedom to be whoever you want to.
and hey, pretty cool to be able to say i’m the inspiration behind some of your characters, huh?🖤
ps. so glad i can finally share photos of mY CAT. even if he does hate me biscuit is MINE as well
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user love the clarification that the most important thing to lando is sharing photos of his cat😭😭
user MORE PICS OF BISCUIT PLEASE
user i’ve always been in love with her i can say that confidently
user oh so you’re a successful fanboy
yourusername biscuit told me to tell u ur smelly for using him for likes
landonorris you literally said to me omg i can post about biscuit now YOU FEEL THE SAME DONT LIE
ੈ✩‧₊˚ musingsofcandor just posted a photo
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musingsofcandor i’ve had a bit of inspiration for some time🤍
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user MOM AND DAD
user i can’t believe this. my worlds are colliding
user I KNEW CAPTAIN ROURKE FELT FAMILIAR IN THE TALES OF PETER ROURKE
user i can’t believe my fav ever love interest is based on lando….
landonorris i love you. thanks for immortalising me🖤
————
a/n: hello hello! another one whilst i recover!
so this was based on an anon request and i have had so much fUN writing it!!!! whilst i don’t normally do requests generally due to being overwhelmed easily, this one stood out to me as i Love books so i was inspired. to the anon who requested, i hope this is what you imagined🤍
in terms of further requests! whilst i can’t promise i’ll do them, if you have any pressing ideas you think would work with my style , do feel free to send them in ! i always love to hear your ideas (and any thoughts on my works!! please send feedback as well!!) and will try gradually to get through some🤍
fun fact: all the book titles are based on actual books i have written hehe
fun fact pt2: yes her pseudonym is chosen bc i watched divergent last night
taglist (found in pinned post): @idkiwantchocolatee @vellicora @alessioayla @bborra @crimeshowjunkie @minkyungseokie @paolexsstuff @celestialpato @champagnelovers101 @loxbbg @hobiismyhopeu @tsukishitm-a @moonypixel @champagneproblems17 @ironmaiden1313 @lqvesoph @sunflower-golden-vol6 @six-call @skatingiswalkingincursive @peqch-pie @m0cha-bunny @woozarts @he6rtshaker @iluvvmeeee @goldenalbon @izzy-marvel @lucyysthings @lichterfee @tallrock35
#f1 x reader#f1#lando norris#lando norris x reader#lando norris imagine#lando norris au#mclaren#lando norris blurb#lando norris scenario#lando norris one shot#lando norris smau
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🌉Your Exciting Urban Love Story ♦︎ Timeless Pick A Card
Life’s full of twists and turns, and we don’t often know beforehand the kinds of encounters that could change our lives forever. Before events actually take place, do you know if you’re being specifically guided towards a special someone? Have you ever thought of that? Some kind of an unexpected, but destined, rendezvous? Have you ever felt the pull? 🤪⭐️🤯
‘That day, that time, at that place; if I hadn’t met you, we would’ve remained eternally strangers.’ – Suddenly, A Love Story by Oda Kazumasa
series: Friends (2002)
deck-bottom: Queen of Swords, Red Alchemist (John Dee) & Priestess of Contemplation
[PAC Masterlist] [Part 1] [Part 2]
[Patreon] [Paid Readings] [buymeaboba]
☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.
Pile 1 – Heartfelt Old-School Romance
‘Love, I know that someday real soon, you’ll be right next to me. Holding me so tight, so I will always be yours. Although we can’t be together now, remember I am here for you, and I know you’re there for me.’ – One (OST Friends 2002) by Lee Soo Young
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unexpected rendezvous? – XIX The Sun
OMG this Pile has the strongest old school vibe. It feels very romantic in the sense of what you’d expect from it as depicted in movies, books and other forms of literature XD It’s open, honest, straightforward, without any pretences. This means your Destined Person is likely to show interest from the get go and make it clear to you that they’ve got intentions~ It could also be the other way around, although it’s more likely that you both share this mutual attraction from the start <3
It's very likely you meet your Destined Person during the daytime, but it could also mean outdoors or basically, where there’s a bright light for some reason LOL It’s a cheery situation and this rendezvous could happen as an ‘accident’. Like you’ll think there’s no way you could be meeting someone this important in the manner you find yourselves in! It’s just crazy! Probably even embarrassing for one or both of you XD
But, you’ll be glad the ‘accident’ happened at all. Without this tiny hiccup in the grand stream of Fate, you’d probably never crisscross each other’s paths. And what a delight it is to have met someone so similar to yourself! Someone who also lights up the darkest corners of your heart. Someone so positive and helpful and kind, and possibly also wise ;P Making you feel…what an aspiration of a person <3
ah, courtship! – 6 of Cups Rx
Your Destined Person is totally not an ex or anybody you’ve known in the past. Could also be someone from a foreign land (or you could be the foreigner in town). And yet, in spite of these immediate differences, you really do find yourselves to be very similar! Like two peas in a pod kind of similar! Which is so fascinating especially if you’re visibly different by nationality, race, custom and some such.
And yet, here you are sharing similar philosophies, taste in music, aesthetic, etc. Maybe even some past struggles with personal development, too. There are so many similarities shared between you that makes being with each other feel like a homecoming. You are awash by a sense of renewal of the spirit or of the psyche hahah This ‘foreigner’ is really just me in a different body~! And this whole thing motivates the both of you to become better people in general, but also for each other <3
There’s a genuine sense of appreciation for each other’s Souls, talents, skills and life’s many downfalls and triumphs. You both really connect on a mental level but especially on emotional and spiritual levels. And it’s such a beautiful thing because, all this time, with the people who seem more similar to yourself, you’ve never felt a connection this deep yet effortless. But this stranger… You view the world with eyes that seem to be made of the same cosmic material~
adoration ON – 4 of Cups Rx
Smile, baby~! Because your Destined Person’s smile literally brings sunshine and calm into your Life. If you get to meet them often, every day is a cosy day of fun and meaningful conversations. You see, up until the point juuust before you meet your Destined Person, Life could’ve gotten quite boring, stagnant, or you could’ve been quite disillusioned with your routine or the stream of events you were used to operating with. But when this person popped into your Life, it’s like being reborn in their inspiration.
Surely it’s Love? This much adoration. And how much you feel stronger and more excited about what could be next for you if you keep going? Surely, it’s something such as Love that could move you in this way? Yes, your Destined Person adores you in a mature and sensible way. They think very highly of you, so when you feel seen by someone just as capable, as motivated, someone so strong and positive, you can’t help but view yourself that way, too. Awesome by association, you know? :D
Their inspiration makes you go for a levelling up! That in itself—them adoring and cheering on you like that—becomes the fuel that makes Life full of wonders again! In essence, theirs is a Love that nurtures your Soul just by them having their heart connected to yours~ <3
MANIFESTING A HIGHER ROMANCE🔻💗
what signs are they receiving about you? – Silver Astronomer (Galileo Galilei)
how are they feeling as you’re manifesting them?? – Priestess of Innocence
Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸
☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.
Pile 2 – Business Partners Turned Power Couple?!
‘I kind of liked it your way, how you shyly placed your eyes on me. Did you ever know that I had mine on you? So let me come to you, close as I wanna be. Close enough for me to feel your heart beating fast.’ – Final Fantasy VIII (Eyes on Me) by Faye Wong
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unexpected rendezvous? – Ace of Pentacles
Ah! This the power couple Pile! XD Chances are very high that you could meet your Destined Person at the workplace. This could also be a business partner of yours if you already have a business of your own. This could also mean meeting your Destined Person during a business event, trip or meeting. Basically, your unexpected rendezvous with your Destined Person has something to do with ‘work’. For some, this could also mean meeting your Destined Person at a ‘charity event’ if that’s something that’s deeply important to you <3
You could also meet your Destined Person when doing some ‘charity work’ such as helping the less fortunate or feeding the homeless or even when building a house for somebody else! So, this is a really cute Pile in which on the day you meet, you kinda intuitively know that something special is likely to occur…but you’re not quite sure what it could be. It’s just…such a good, cheery day and your heart is very wide and open. It’s very possible this occurs outside when the sun is out, too~
Even if you’re the type that’s been thinking and manifesting your Destined Person, this sudden meeting will still be very unexpected, possibly because you’ll have forgotten all about this reading LOL On the day you meet, there’ll be other people present and you won’t be at your own house or anywhere near it. Basically, there’s this ‘work’ vibe so you’ll definitely be working on something at some other place that’s not your house or theirs, though it could be somebody else’s house nevertheless😉
ah, courtship! – Queen of Wands Rx
You probably have gotten this from other readings as well but your Destined Person isn’t your usual ‘type’ if you have any. Like you normally wouldn’t fall for a person like this, whether it’s their face, race(?), height, age, or overall style and vibe. Even if you never declared a type, your friends could tell that you had a tendency to fall for a certain look, age group or behaviour LMAO But your Destined Person is kinda totally on the outside of those preferences… AT FIRST GLANCE!
Your Destined Person is without a doubt extremely attractive, but what really draws you to them is how pure and honest they are. It’s giving, ‘With that kind of a face you could be the smoothest criminal and still get away with most things, so how are you so, so… good?’ They may have a look that gets people misunderstanding them because they’re just that attractive, but your Destined Person is really lovely on the inside. Their heart is kind and tender, and this is the type of person who genuinely wants True Love <3 They got no game.
Upon closer investigation you’ll learn that your Destined Person has a character that’s everything you’ve ever dreamt and prayed for. You’ll see how this person opens up to you very quickly because they themselves can’t deny their attraction to you. They’ll be all over you very fast but they got no game on you. That’s not what they wanna do with you. This is a person, who, when they hold you, they hold all of you in their embrace to heal you and make you safe and very happy. Quite gallant, indeed! <3
adoration ON – 3 of Cups
It’s obvious to all of your friends/colleagues that there’s something unusual going on between you and your Destined Person XD The attraction you feel towards one another is undeniable! It can’t be hidden, especially from your Destined Person’s side. Their friends will notice just how different they are when looking at you, talking to you, just being with you. There’s a kind of cheerfulness that seems to shine only when you’re around; and it’s obvious to anyone who knows you both that there’s Love here.
Due to ‘work-related circumstances’ you may not become a couple right away—in spite of the attraction—but everybody at the workplace is whispering, and possibly even gossiping, speculating if there’s something more going on between you two LMAO For the most part, most people are SUPER SUPPORTIVE of you two. There’s just… something quite pure and innocent in the way you treat each other. You two adore each other in the softest, sweetest manner. And that’s such a breath of fresh air—aspirational, even.
As a means to get to know each other, your Destined Person is likely to hang out at ‘innocent’ places with you. You could have lunch breaks together quite a lot hahah They could accompany you to a café; grab a baguette at a boulangerie with you; run errands ordained by your bosses; and other activities that seem work-related and unromantic that could potentially turn accidentally romantic by some higher power XD Well, maybe that Higher Power is really just your intent😉
MANIFESTING A HIGHER ROMANCE🔻💙
what signs are they receiving about you? – Red Physician (Galen of Pergamon)
how are they feeling as you’re manifesting them?? – Priestess of Luck
Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸
☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.
Pile 3 – Unexpected Love After a Total Heartbreak
‘The miracle of our rendezvous changed the colour of my tears. You make me feel brand new and I wanna Love that’s brand new. I don’t worry about the dark night where I can’t see the Cosmos because I can see you. You are my Shinin’ Star and I wanna be your Shinin’ Star.’ – La La La Love Song by Kubota Toshinobu
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unexpected rendezvous? – Queen of Cups Rx
Some time in the future, you’ll have your heart broken by someone who’s irresponsible—prolly downright callous and even narcissistic. The whole experience is very likely to break you apart, leaving you traumatised and may even find it difficult to trust again. In some ways, you could be questioning your worth, wondering why nobody loved you the way you wanted.
‘I asked for snuggles, but all I got are struggles…!’ kind of frustration LMAO In many ways, you could’ve given up on the idea of love and romance. You’d given so much of yourself but got nothing in return—if anything, you got garbage and mistreatment in return! So, it’s likely you’d decide to take this time for self-reflection and building a connection with yourself. But that instead is the magical part!
On the way towards healing and loving yourself, very IMMEDIATELY the Universe sends you a match who’ll answer all of your prayers! By ‘immediately’, I really mean immediately! Like, straight away you will meet your Destined Person to replace all of the heartache you’ve sustained up until that point in your Life! Dang! The manifestation works way too fast it may take you by surprise! <3
ah, courtship! – VI The Lovers
Well, yes, for some of you reading this, the manifestation of your Destined Person could be in the flesh immediately. For some of you tho, this could mean ‘meeting’ your Destined Person in the spirit first! It could be that you begin to wake up to the notion of Soulmates (even Twin Flames, hopefully the real notions of it, if you are a Twin Flame indeed). If you’re meeting your Destined Person in the spirit first…
Their aenergy could come to haunt you regularly in the forms of…let’s see:
angel numbers (this could get persistent!); repeatedly seeing names, numbers and symbols that make you wonder if these signs are related to their identity in the physical realm; coming across memes, quotes and tarot readings online that seem to redirect your attention to this notion of a higher romance—a spiritual kind of Love; aaand receiving messages while seeing glimpses of them in your dreams~
For those that’ll manifest immediately in the physical, you’ll notice—immediately—that your Destined Person is the complete opposite of whoever caused your heartbreak in the first place. That in itself will be very healing for you because, immediately, you’ll believe in Love again—maybe even in the goodness of the Lord, as the religious ones would say LMAO
Basically, your Destined Person is like a mirror-Soul to yours and by this point in your spiritual evolution, you’ll have been able to tell what’s trauma bonding and what’s a real empathetic bond based on kindness and mutual compassion ^o<
adoration ON – Knight of Pentacles
Oh! Seriously, let me just say first that you need to watch or at least find clips of Long Vacation drama on YouTube. Your Destined Person’s aenergy feels quite similar to the main guy, Sena. Very kind and caring, responsible but shy while being quite a tough and stubborn male character LMAO Your Destined Person feels very much like this part of Sena’s personality. He has a lot of compassion for the people around him but especially you, after knowing what kind of bullshit you’ve had to brave through all alone T.Tv
In many ways, they respect you a lot for your strength and courage! They feel like they could learn a lot from you. As much as they admire you in this way, they also want to be the person who babies you—they want to be allowed to take care of you. They will seriously, and carefully, endeavour to make you feel safe, nurtured, cared for…they just…really, really want to keep you safe, feeling secure in the connection. They want you to trust them wholeheartedly and will show through cute little actions how dependable they are. They will plan cute dates with you, all for you to simply have a good time <3
This person is the type that fantasises about having a Life with you, and they’re serious enough, responsible enough to truly plan everything out. Something in you—something very cute in you—motivates them to become a bigger, stronger, more dependable version of themselves! Even if you identified as a demure character and your Destined Person were the more cheerful one, they’d still think of you as the Sunshine in their Life~☀️
MANIFESTING A HIGHER ROMANCE🔻🧡
what signs are they receiving about you? – Green Geographer (Gerardus Mercator)
how are they feeling as you’re manifesting them?? – Priestess of Fertility
Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸
☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.
[PAC Masterlist] [Part 1] [Part 2]
[Patreon] [Paid Readings] [buymeaboba]
#Punk Panda Pick A Pic#pick a card#pick a card reading#tarot pick a card#pac#pac reading#tarot pac#future spouse#future spouse reading#tarot future spouse#fs#divine counterpart#romance#relationship#love story#soulmate#girlblogger#girlblogging#manifesting#destiny#gratitude
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Took some notes from the Wild Life retrospective episode of the Imp & Skizz podcast featuring Grian because I thought the behind the scenes info was really interesting!
(3:15) The wild cards were all kept totally secret from the players (apart from Grian), with the exception of the superpowers and finale (as they required the players to set keybinds)
(3:45) The players were given files containing the required mods each week, which were named things like "creeper rain" to throw them off
(4:12) Wild cards were a combination of data packs and mods
(4:38) Grian told them not to read the folder name to avoid spoilers (which is kind of impossible), so everyone fully believed there would be creeper rain lol. Grian was saying it in jest but everyone took it seriously and were apologetic about having seen it, to which Grian told them not to worry
(6:58) Grian originally contacted a data pack dev called Brace for help with programming the wild cards. Some, like the shrinking/growing could be achieved with minecraft attributes, but the snails were too janky and unusable. Grian still liked the idea though, so he reached out to mod developers Henkelmax and Breadloaf, who designed the pathfinding/behaviour from scratch
(8:49) They had a debugging mode used to test the pathfinding of the snails, shown in the podcast and in Grian's credits
(10:09) Grian wants most of the credit to go to the development team and artists, as he was mostly in charge of ideas & organization!
(10:39) Grian's only regret with the snails was that they were too fast in session 3, leading to unexpectedly many deaths. They were apparently not so difficult to get away from during testing, but perhaps the testers were more used to them than the players were
(11:44) Grian: "We did develop to the lowest common denominator" ie. prioritizing how players would struggle over how worrying about if players would do too well
(12:56) Oli's voice for the snails was iconic. It cost Impulse a life because he intentionally stayed closer to it to hear the voice lol
(13:42) Danny was in charge of the snail models and animations
(14:11) During testing, the snails just sounded like Oli, which made it feel weird. They pitched up his voice so that it'd be less immediately recognizable
(15:18) The snails' jumping attack was meant to be clearly telegraphed: they would stop, wiggle, make a "ooeee" sound before jumping. Many players had their friendly creatures volume turned very low/off (as cows and other mobs are loud), which made this attack much less obvious for them
(16:57) The growing/shrinking had the least testing done for it, as it was the simplest conceptually and to program. This meant that the falling off of blocks due to the shrinking hitboxes wasn't anticipated
(17:55) Before the 1st session, Grian told them that he didn't think anyone would die to the wild card. Pearl's death made Grian pretty nervous, as he didn't want everyone dying too early in the season
(19:29) 6 lives were given, knowing that many of the death to the wild cards were unexpected/unfair. The intent was for ~3 lives to be allocated for wild cards, and ~3 for PvP.
(21:13) The developers were all fans of the Life Series!
(22:43) The shrinking/growing was intentionally pretty simple to ease players/viewers into the concept and build up toward more dramatic wild cards like the snails
(25:38) In the hunger episode, Grian didn't know which foods would be good
(25:58) Grian thinks that "it's unfair that Grian already knows everything" is valid criticism, but that it's important for him to be involved with the ideas. Having someone else do that is like having someone else record his videos: Life Series is his brainchild
(26:35) Well before the season began, while they were still developing the concept, Grian asked the other players for wild card ideas that would meet a few criteria. All of them ended up being unused for one reason or another. Impulse thinks his ideas were very "inside the box" because he was viewing things through what was possible in vanilla Minecraft. His idea was to have a scavenger hunt where the players would search to find a relic. The first person to find it would get a buff. Skizz's idea was for every player to turn into a random passive mob for every given interval of time. They would have to find every other player of the same mob type as them or else the whole group loses a life.
(29:44) The food qualities were weighted by the rarity of the item, so very common blocks like dirt and cobblestone would never give anything good. The other items were randomly selected
(30:23) Regular blocks/items cannot be made edible normally, so they had to circumvent that and custom code a fix for items not stacking correctly
(32:41) While a lot of players do want to win, the main priority is creating entertainment, which prioritizes playing recklessly
(33:20) The food wild card wasn't included in the finale because it would've felt like "too much". There was a higher risk of technical issues since it changed the data values of items, and Grian didn't want someone's last death to be because they ate their sword. In his mind, it was a good and fun wild card, but didn't need to be repeated in the finale. Impulse points out that they all would have collected more rare items by that point, removing the incentive to search for blocks to eat
(33:46) The wild cards in the finale were nerfed from their original sessions. The shrinking/growing had a smaller height range, the snails moved slower, etc.
(36:21) The personalized snail skins were a late addition by Danny, who made 18 skins very quickly
(36:49) Grian did not anticipate the snails becoming as popular with fans as they were. After the session released, they had the idea to release the snail merchandise, which directly funded the rest of the season
(39:20) Grian spent what "felt like every day" testing with the developers. They'd record the sessions on Tuesdays, meet up with the dev team, talk about what need to be done, testing, bugs, etc, edit and upload on Saturday, and would get a few days grace before starting again
(40:01) After the snail session, Grian was worried that the season would be very short due to all the deaths. They were considering toning down the later wild cards but ultimately didn't change them too much
(40:36) The time wild card was carefully balanced. If it had gone even a little faster, many players likely would have died because they wouldn't have time to react to threats like baby zombies or creepers.
(40:57) While sessions normally run for a variable amount of time, session 4 was hardcoded at 2 hours. Grian ended the session ~10 minutes early, just after they hit max speed, because he felt like things were getting dicey
(42:46) When the wild card first activates, it looks a lot like the server had frozen or crashed. Grian told the players before the session started that it would look like the game was broken, but that it isn't broken. Skizz tabbed out anyway and missed the beginning 😔
(43:30) Having the rain start just as the wild card began was a good visual indicator of time slowing down. This was a suggestion from the dev team (probably Brace)
(44:41) Impulse and Grian "cheesed" the end of the session by going branch mining. Grian wanted players to take advantage of the wild cards (eg. mining quickly, helping to kill someone), and not have them just be an annoyance.
(45:30) Keeping the client and server-side time stay in sync was challenging. The sky's motion was changed to be smoother on client-side. The players were also not as fast as the server (around 2x faster), the server was going faster than that, and the time of day was even faster
(46:56) The sounds were pitched up/down based on the speed to add to the effect
(27:46) In testing, if the players were made 7x faster, it would be basically unplayable, which was why it was capped at 2x speed. This made mobs very dangerous, as they were now faster than players and could catch up to you and kill you easily
(49:01) On several occasions, they had to extend the fuse duration of creepers to make them more fair. In the time session, their speed was only increased by ~10%
(49:39) Usually, Grian was the one to test the wild cards and notice when things like creeper speed would be an issue, since he was the one with experience making videos
(50:50) A challenge with balancing wild cards is accounting for the playstyles of so many players: reckless players like Scar and Skizz, "kind and gentle" players like Bigb who would stay off to the sides, and "the sweat squad" (Scott, Impulse) who play very cautiously
(52:48) Trivia Bot was the only wild card that was not planned in advance. Grian was struggling to come up with a wild card for that episode, and wanted to have a wild card available that could give people lives in case many people died to early wild cards without it feeling cheap.
(53:33) Trivia seemed a little boring on its face, so presentation was essential
(54:34) This one made Grian the most stressed due to all the moving parts involved in making it (coding and pathfinding mostly by Henkelmax, visuals by Hoffen, audio/music, questions)
(55:08) Trivia Bot's design was based on Grumbot and Mettaton from Undertale. Hoffen drew concept art shown in the video
(58:32) They show Trivia Bot's custom animation for becoming a snail and it's really cool
(59:12) The music was the most stressful part of the project. Grian spent 2-3 days looking through Epidemic Sounds for a Trivia Bot theme song and couldn't find anything good. He commissioned Zera @hopepetal for a theme song, which is played in the podcast. However, Grian realized he needed a full audio package, so he commissioned Oli late in development, who created the final soundtrack and many audio variations
(1:01:38) Grian wants to send appreciation for everyone who worked on the project, even if their work ultimately went unused
(1:02:58) Skizz was happy to give back however he could by staying on standby in the final episode as a zombie, as the players were able to "reap all the benefits" of the hard work of the development team
(1:05:21) Grian didn't know any of the trivia questions beforehand, which were done by fans of the series. The goal was for ~50% of the questions to be answered correctly, which was approximately met
(1:07:11) Players couldn't get questions about themselves because it would be too easy. This would encourage players to leave their bot, allowing other players to mess with them
(1:07:57) Grian felt a little left out from the discovery element of the wild cards, and decided to mess with Scar by hiding his bot. He wasn't expecting Scar to die from it, and could tell that he was genuinely a little upset by it. Grian felt bad about it, which led to a genuine in-game alliance between them
(1:12:32) Grian was very close to letting Trivia Bot give lives as rewards, but decided it would feel too cheap
(1:14:38) Mob swap was slightly toned down, with more camels and sniffers spawning
(1:15:07) Evokers didn't drop totems anymore. Instead, there was a minuscule chance a warden or wither would spawn, which would drop a totem if killed. Grian was a little disappointed that the warden got cheesed in the end
(1:17:45) Having the mobs start passive and turn hostile was mostly for the presentation, building anticipation, and so players could predict where mobs would spawn and react accordingly, making things feel less unfair
(1:20:32) There was no superpower made for Skizz (or Mumbo presumably)
(1:20:38) The superpowers were another late addition. There was a large design doc where Grian created all the powers, which were handed over to Henkelmax and completed over 4 days
(1:21:42) Grian avoided superpowers involving strength, that could cause someone to die easily. Most of the powers were social or movement-based, which couldn't be used for offence as easily
(1:22:25) Some powers were randomly assigned, others weren't. Impulse's was random. Cleo's, Bigb's, Lizzie's, Grian's were assigned.
(1:24:25) Grian gave himself the mimic because it could easily backfire (like in Grian's fall damage death), and because it would've been confusing for a player who wasn't aware of the other powers. They likely would've spent the episode just figuring out how everything worked and not actually using the power to its best ability
Lots of discussion about the superpowers and how they interacted in the episode itself, go watch if you're interested :)
(1:33:38) Talk on how the series "standard" rules evolved since 3rd Life. There was no keep inventory, and no restrictions on enchanting levels or potions, which created slow or unbalanced fights
(1:36:23) 3rd Life was designed to be an experimental series, which made Grian eager to improve it. For example, some people just weren't dying in 3L, leading to the boogeyman in LL, and so on
(1:37:17) The goal with the seasons isn't to one-up the previous one, but to create a different experience every time, which keeps things engaging for the creators
(1:38:31) At the end of each session, Grian would ask the group if they had fun and how they felt about the wild cards. According the Skizz, the answer was "a resounding yes"
(1:39:08) Grian had moments throughout the season where he personally felt like things didn't go well for him, and was anxious for the rest of the group's episodes. Things worked out while editing the raw footage, though. His issues were never with the wild cards themselves, but his own actions (traps not working, spending too long branch mining), but would always find funny moments in his footage
(1:43:41) Everyone in the Life Series cast genuinely likes and genuinely respects everybody else in the group. This allows them to make the show and get mad at each other, because they know it's all just in-character
(1:44:50) It'd be hard to top Wild Life in spectacle, and Grian doesn't want to start an arms race with himself. The next season could potentially be closer to 3rd Life, but Grian's not sure yet. For Grian, Wild Life was the most enjoyable
(1:45:20) Grian: "As long as people keep enjoying [the Life Series] then I'd love to keep doing it"
(1:49:35) With the finale, Grian knew how the wild cards played out the previous sessions and was able to adjust them
(1:49:56) Grian's goal was to create safe chaos where everyone knew what was happening and wouldn't die to them, which didn't go entirely to plan. The snails were 60% of their original speed and people still died
(1:51:03) Grian made a precise timeline of when each wild card would start/stop, it wasn't randomized.
(1:54:16) All the superpowers were randomized, with Bdubs' power being removed from circulation because it didn't have much use in a finale setting
(1:56:10) It was important for Grian that in the final moments, the wild cards were removed, so there were no interruptions. The timing worked out well because there were a few people left and it ended within ~10 minutes (this implies that the change wasn't based on # of players alive, as people had speculated based on Gem's death)
(1:58:48) The players all randomly switched to zombie skins throughout the session to mess with people on NameMC. Well-played :)
#og post#wildlife#grian#impulse#impulsesv#skizz#skizzleman#imp & skizz#mc meta#wild life smp#wlsmp#life series#trafficblr#traffic smp#<- dunno which life series tags are most commonly used but i hope i got all the major ones#long post#“i should write down the behind the scenes!” i thought. “it'll be quick!” i thought :')#as someone who did had some critiques about the structure of the season#i found it really insightful to hear about the design decisions from a behind the scenes perspective#digging into why it was made the way it was and what exactly about it worked/didn't work honestly helps me to appreciate#it more for what it was!#and it helped to truly understand and appreciate all the work that went into it#i probably included more details than needed but i just thought they were all really fascinating#like trivia bot being designed to have the option to give lives in case the early sessions were too deadly!#i was also surprised that the snail merch wasn't planned ahead of time#and i also tried to keep all the credits grian listed bc i think it's important!#i would recommend watching the full podcast ep! i didn't include a lot of imp & skizz's commentary since i was focusing on the technical &#behind the scenes details but they had lots of great insight
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Ok so, thinking about this post, specifically the "dumb au where the Uchiha just really like Kakashi for some reason (clan stuff??)" part, and it got me thinking;
AU where the Hatake's have a reputation for being "good luck charm" to the point where some clans view them as genuine symbols of prosperity, and marrying one / getting one to join your family in some way is supposed to bless you, your family, and your fields for as long as they remain yours
Maybe their white chakra specifically is actually some sort of good luck thing? Idk, but like, there's that abstract idea.
"The Hatake, with their steely hair and blessed white chakra said to bless any fortunate enough to see it"
Could totally mash this in with the Sexyman Sakumo agenda and say part of his insane popularity was bc of the rumors about how his bloodline limit is supposed to give fortune to any who might tie him down
Oooo what if after his mission gone wrong, the rumors and reputation twists and suddenly people are saying no, they got it opposite, the Hatake's bring bad luck
Then Sakumo offs himself and Kakashi suddenly has to live with the reputation of being a bad luck charm
Could be fun.
Anyways, rewinding:
Gonna think ab the warring states with this idea first.
So, half Hatake Tobirama, right? Senju Butsama marrying a Hatake woman would be such a power move for him,,,
Oh my god wait ok: Something about the Senju clan and their planty stuff, then marrying a Hatake woman said to bring prosperity to their "clan and crops" is so good.
And then she also goes and proves it right by popping out the first mokuton baby in forever
So fun !!
I like the idea that their luck is said to specifically be in their white chakra, so like. None of the Senju boys being born with white chakra and their dad being upset by it bc that means the luck wasn't passed down. But Tobirama, being an albino, looks pretty Hatake so maybe some of the charm passed onto him...?
(It hadn't, but there's some fun to be had in the belief that it had.)
Tobirama never marries in part because he has no interest in it, and in part because many of those who approached him only wanted him for his supposed 'Hatake Luck'
You could so easily turn this into sort of a parody to a blessed eyes au by rolling with Tobirama having the social flex of being a Hatake, a good luck charm in human form.
Skipping back ahead to Kohona back to Kakashi— umm supposed "bad luck" Hatake Kakashi (to the general population of Kohona) being fuckin pspsps'ed at by the older clans who know Hatake's are good luck and are so trying to get him to join their clan (and bring them luck)
He's an orphan now!!! That means he's free realestate!!! Pspsps cmere little boy come let the nice old clan people adopt you teehee <3
This was meant to be a funny silly lighthearted thing but I can see several ugly paths to take with that actually. Let's stick to lighthearted fun for now tho
Ummm Obito actually survives the rock fall bc of Kakashi's Hatake luck, pass it on. He so should have died but he didn't and it's bc of Kakashi taking him as his "best friend" and suddenly boom, luck.
Ooo maybe when they swap eyes, uh, yk, Kakashi's eye has a bit of white chakra in it and now it's in Obito.
So now Obito suddenly has this double conundrum of "physically has a Hatake's white chakra in him (in his eye, even, which is a culturally and spiritually significant body part to highlight)
And he's considered family by Kakashi, who Kakashi thinks of (and unknowingly sends good luck towards) every day,,,,
Obito's plans keep going so well even when he does a half assed job at them bc of the fucking Hatake blessing Kakashi unknowingly placed on him, pass it on
Alternativley: silly fluffy 'everythings good and nothing hurts' au that's just older Kakashi being aggressively pursued by people both bc hes hot and also the Hatake luck.
Mothers want to adopt him to get him into their clan and fathers want to fuc—
Sorry what was I saying?
Anyways
Good luck charm Kohona sexy man Sakumo and his son Kakashi who grows up into a good luck charm Kohona sexyman himself....
Hatake good luck charm au. Make it happen. I believe in us
#hatake good luck charm#kakashi hatake#birds fic talk#naruto#naruto au#hatake kakashi#hatake clan lore#tobirama senju#senju tobirama#hashirama senju#senju hashirama#half hatake tobirama#naruto shippuden#warring states era#hatake clan#half hatake hashirama#obkk#kkob#obito uchiha#uchiha obito#obikaka#kakaobi#kakashi
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According to this tweet from Endo, today's new chapter will be the final installment of the "Henry x Martha backstory" arc...and it definitely went out on a high note! The part where Martha meets Henry's wife was absolutely heartbreaking...in particular the below page, starting with an upside down view of the scene, showing how the world is literally warping for Martha, followed by shards and shreds of her various memories with Henry, all the while the "throb, throb" of her heart is overlaying all the panels. Definitely one of Endo's best portrayals of a truly shocking moment.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/50e969066c182e49ed3b44adad8d87b1/d5b1d954196d10ea-ed/s540x810/507d7343dba77f998e3dfeada9a8332e94925c53.jpg)
It's also interesting that we never see Lucia's face, despite her having a big panel when she first appears.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/b7fd7eeaf8fec490276f0cd8290d2d58/d5b1d954196d10ea-f8/s540x810/87d903cecf59078e9a117d291c309e27c4927719.jpg)
Endo has done this before with other characters, Loid's parents being the other big example. We also never see their faces, despite them appearing several times during his flashback arc.
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With the few examples we've had, to me it seems like Endo hides the faces of characters who 1) appear as flashbacks only and 2) who have had a significant emotional impact on the character whose memories they appear in, but at the same time, that character has since done their best to get over the painful memories associated with them. So they basically represent some past trauma for the character (even if they don't necessarily dislike them) but in the current time, they've more or less left that part of their past behind. Hence why their faces are obscured in the character's memories. This is also why I think we'll never see Loid's parents or Lucia's faces outside of flashbacks. This is just my interpretation of course, and I'm curious if there will be more examples in other characters' flashback arcs.
But back to Henry and Martha, I also liked the fact that, despite her broken heart, Martha still saw Lucia as a good person and became friends with her. Henry seems to love her as well. This actually ties back very well to what Martha tells Becky at the end of her story about how dangerous it is to latch onto preconceptions and prejudices without knowing the truth.
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In Becky's simple world, she would see Lucia as the "evil seductress who stole Henry away" and Martha has to get him back. But as Martha said, things aren't always that simple and don't always adhere to our preconceived notions. Sometimes things can't end up exactly how you want or expect, so you have to be grateful for what you have and see things as they truly are, despite living with lingering regrets. In fact, this whole speech from Martha at the conclusion of her flashback was extremely deep and profound. Not many people can write both comedy and drama so well, but Endo is certainly one of them.
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Also, is this Wiesel's first appearance? Still waiting for the doggy play date chapter with Wiesel, Bond, Max, and Aaron! 🐶
Since it's been so long since I read the first chapter of this arc, I couldn't remember if Martha had actually revealed the identity of her lover in her story, but makes sense that she didn't. I can imagine Becky storming into school yelling at Henderson and causing total embarrassment for all 😅 Funny that she almost guessed correctly though.
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I'm surprised we never found out how Martha started working for the Blackbells, but that's an easy enough mystery to solve - she needed work after the wars were over, and being a bodyguard suited an ex-soldier. Also seems like she never told Henry her true feelings either...maybe by the time Lucia died, it was too late and they had both grown somewhat apart by then, and/or they had some additional falling outs about Martha joining the other wars, etc. It just wasn't meant to be and the message of the story was Martha coming to terms with that and being wiser for it.
In conclusion, this was a great arc that really shows Endo's range as a writer who can do both comedy and drama very well. Despite Henry and Martha being side characters, I have a feeling that the struggles they experienced will have relevance later in the series. But for now, I look forward to seeing the Forgers and other characters again (and getting back to the last major uproar of Anya telling Damian about her powers...seems like ages ago, lol). Endo will be taking a well deserved break, so the next new chapter will be on August 19th!
I also have some new posts planned in the coming weeks, so stay tuned for those as well 😀
#spy x family#sxf#spy family#spyxfamily#henry henderson#martha marriott#becky blackbell#sxf manga#sxf manga spoilers#sxf spoilers
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Red Wave
January 1st, 2025
Yo, so I started this Red Wave trial thing today. The docs said it’s supposed to, like, make your brain work better or something. Was told to track my thoughts in this journal thing. Honestly, I’m just here for the cash. I’m not buying into any of their science-y shit. Took the first pill this morning. Feel normal so far. Guess we’ll see if this stuff actually does anything.
Since I was told to describe myself a bit, I guess I might as well if I want that cash they promised. Name's Blake. I'm 26 and work at a local manufacturing company in the finance department. It's a pretty chill gig. Don't gotta wear a suit either which is good. Didn't even wear one to my graduation and I don't plan on starting now.
Anyway bro, I'm also a proud atheist. Never got into politics, but I guess I'm more liberal. I mean, just let people do what they want, right?
February 10th, 2025
Alright, not gonna lie, I’ve been feeling kinda sharp lately. Like, my head’s clearer, and I’m getting more stuff done at work. My boss Emily even said my presentation didn’t totally suck, which is rare. Oh, and I actually ironed my shirt today before work. Don’t know why—just felt like I should look decent. Weird, right? Maybe these pills aren’t total BS. I don't know why, but I've been thinking of wearing a tie to work...
March 12th, 2025
So get this, man: I bought a suit over the weekend. A whole grownup suit and a tie to go with it. I dunno know why, but I just felt like stepping up my game for my presentation at work today. And man did I look good. I got so many compliments on my fit. It honestly felt really good. My bros thought it was weird and so do I, but now that I have it I guess I'll use it at another presentation in the future.
April 15th, 2025
Something weird is going on. I heard some chick at work talking about her church today. Instead of scoffing and rolling my eyes, it made me, like, think a little. Like I got curious about it. I don't know what's going on, but I might have to check it out sometime.
Speaking of work, I've been wearing a tie more and more. It feels... right. People seem to notice too. I get so many compliments about them. I went back to the store and pick out a whole bunch of different colors. I may be the only guy in the department wearing one, but standing out isn't a bad thing I guess.
May 18th, 2025
Alright, so… I went to church today. Yeah, me. Blake, the proud atheist. Walked past St. Mark’s on the way to grab Starbuck's, and something just made me stop and go in. The music was kind of awesome, and the pastor’s talk about purpose hit me harder than I expected. I don’t even know what’s happening to me, but I’m starting to think there’s more to life than what I’ve been living. I might go back next week to see what I've been missing, but I'm not sure yet.
June 30th, 2025
This morning, I prayed. Like, actually prayed to God. I’m still trying to wrap my head around it, but it felt… good. I’ve also started reading bits of the Bible over the past week. There’s some deep stuff in there. Work’s going great, too. I’ve been mentoring one of the new guys, and Emily says she’s impressed with my leadership. Suits are now my everyday thing. Who knew dressing sharp could feel so right?
July 23rd, 2025
I’ve been pulling away from my old friends. Their whole sarcastic, edgy vibe just doesn’t sit right with me anymore. Instead, I’ve been hanging out with people from church who share my interest in self-improvement and faith. I’m even thinking about joining a volunteer group at the church. Life feels more meaningful now. My mind still feels so clear too. I don't know what this pill is doing to me, but it's working.
August 11th, 2025
I’ve been reflecting on some big ideas lately: responsibility, tradition, family values. They make so much sense now. I’ve also started watching a few commentators online who align with these views. Their logic is compelling. Honestly, I don’t know how I didn’t see it before. It’s like a veil has been lifted. Why should abortion be legal? Why should we violate the second amendment with gun control laws? Why do gays think thy can decide how the rest of us live our lives? So many questions I'm learning the answers to. I never paid much attention to politics, but maybe I should.
September 7th, 2025
Sunday service has become the cornerstone of my week. I’ve officially joined St. Mark’s and volunteered for their community outreach. Pastor Williams’s guidance has been invaluable. I’m entirely committed to this new path. My wardrobe, my habits, even my worldview have all transformed. I’m proud of the man I’ve become. I've said this a million times already, but it just feels right.
October 20th, 2025
Today is my birthday, and reflecting on this past year astounds me. My former self seems like a stranger. I’ve embraced faith, order, and purpose, and it just feels right. I got my hair cut to be a lot shorter than I once had it as a special birthday gift to myself. It feels more appropriate for my new image.
I had some friends from bible study over for a small party. I wore my best suit for the occasion. We played games, ate good food, and prayed of course. There was a riveting debate on the role of faith in politics. All in all, it was a good time. I can't believe how much my life has changed just in 10 months.
November 30th, 2025
Today was the final day of the trial. The scientist leading the study asked me all sorts of questions, from my conservative views to my faith in God and my new sense of style. I'm not sure what it all has to do with a mental focus pill, but I didn't feel like asking questions. I'm sure they know what they're doing. Anyways, I better get going. St. Mark's is having an event today to celebrate God and all of His glory. I wouldn't miss it for the world.
December 1st, 2025
The Red Wave trial has concluded with a 100% conversion rate among participants. Subjects exhibited profound and permanent shifts in personality, behavior, and worldview. Pre-trial skepticism and liberal inclinations were entirely replaced with conservative, faith-based identities. This case highlights the pill's efficacy in aligning individuals with structured, traditional conservative values. Further research will examine long-term societal impacts of widespread application. More subjects needed.
#lib to con#liberal to conservative#atheist to christian#transformation#male transformation#suit and tie#preppy tf
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heyo- a friend is trying to get me to read 1984 because 'it'll totally change your worldview on government and anarchism', but i've heard some bad things about the book itself/george orwell. should i read it? is there anything similar/more theorylike i could read instead?
thank you! your blog rocks <3 <3
Go ahead and read it if you want. It's a classic entry into the genre of dystopian science fiction and it has spawned many imitators since its publication. However, if you're looking for actual theory or history, you won't find it there. I would recommend Pat Sloan's "Soviet Democracy" or Anna Louise Strong's "The Soviets Expected It" and "The Stalin Era" if you want real accounts of the Soviet Union under Stalin.
Orwell never actually visited the Soviet Union, and 1984 is based not on his own personal experience with the country but instead on Western propagandistic views of the country and his own displeasure towards the fact that during World War II, when the UK and the USSR were allies, the British press was much less keen to publish anti-Soviet works right at the same time he was trying to get Animal Farm published. You must also understand that his wife worked for the UK's Ministry of Information as a censor and Orwell himself worked at the BBC producing wartime propaganda. It is not a coincidence then that the main character of 1984, Winston Smith, is a censor and propaganda official working with the fictional "Ministry of Truth" and eventually finding himself battling against state control of information.
Ironically, after stylizing himself so much as a defender of liberty and freedom against the "totalitarianism" of the time, Orwell would write up a list of alleged subversive writers for the British Information Research Department, a secret department tasked with publishing anti-communist propaganda during the Cold War. Some of this propaganda would end up being a comic strip version of Orwell's Animal Farm. There is a significant throughline in both Animal Farm and 1984 that clearly betrays Orwell's political views. In both works, the proletariat are depicted as nothing more than idiots and sheep who follow the orders of anyone willing to give them work and are easily duped by intellectuals. In 1984, he phrases it as the proletariat being more "free" simply because they're so insignificant as to warrant no government surveillance.
In 1984, the fictional society of "Oceania" is a far cry from a dictatorship of the proletariat. The proletariat have no political power, they all live in slums and are mollified by bread and circuses. How is the building of the slums organized? Where does the money go when one buys their bread? We are not told anything about this except that the process is slow and inefficient. The story isn't interested in material concerns. The "proles" do their work, we are told, but we are never shown much more than informal labor. We don't know who is telling them to work or how they are getting paid. The "Outer Party" is supposedly the white collar "middle" class of Oceanic society, but despite the amount of focus the story has on this class, we are never shown a single Party member managing a workplace or poring over receipts. We are to believe that the proletariat are simultaneously left to their own devices and unmolested by the state, while also completely under the control of the state through invisible mechanisms that are never elaborated upon. While Winston will complain endlessly about his own quality of life, not once does a single prole gripe about their job. The cost and quality of goods come up sporadically and only to illustrate the deterioration of English society under Party rule, never to illustrate any material basis of said rule.
Even more at the periphery are the colonized peoples (although never described as such) within the war-torn areas never under the permanent control of any world power. All three of the global superpowers are said to be in a constant struggle over the control and enslavement of these super-exploited workers and the resources of their nations, which are said to make up a significant proportion of the material resources of each superpower, however at the same time they are not considered to be part of the proletariat and are dismissed as entirely disposable and unnecessary for the maintenance of any of these superpowers. To Orwell, it seems, colonialism is simply a thing the colonizers do out of habit and not a phenomenon with an actual material basis or actual material effects. In turn, the colonized are not actual people who might take umbrage with the constant conflict imposed upon them, but rather chattel that is perfectly content to be traded back and forth among the colonizers.
The importance of the middle class in society is a recurring theme in 1984. For example, the Trotsky-esque political treatise Winston reads within the story, "The Theory and Practice of Oligarchical Collectivism", begins with a twist on Marxist historical materialism - while it recognizes the role of class conflict in human history, it asserts a transhistorical narrative of the eternal existence of three separate classes within society since "Neolithic times": the upper, middle, and lower classes. It is then asserted that it is the middle and only the middle class that is ever revolutionary, and that when it appeals to the lower classes it does so only to use them as a cudgel against the upper classes and never out of a genuine concern for their wellbeing. The treatise, idealistic as it is, provides little definition of these classes. The lower classes are described as "crushed by drudgery" and in a constant state of servitude that places them incapable of achieving political consciousness, something reserved solely for the upper and middle classes. The upper class is defined simply as the "directing" class, and the middle as the "executive" class. The identity of the middle class within Oceania is made clear: they are the "Outer Party", the white collar intelligentsia and managerial class which Winston and Julia belong to. One must assume Orwell viewed himself as a member of the middle class as well. If this section of the book is at all reflective of Orwell's own views (and to be clear no part of the book refutes this outlook,) then Orwell's rejection of Marxism-Leninism is rooted in his view of the vanguard party as simply a mechanism for the intelligentsia and bureaucrats to trick the stupid proles into overthrowing the bourgeoisie, rather than as a genuine means of proletarian liberation.
The politics of the Party are entirely idealistic in nature. "Big Brother" dominates through control of ideology and speech. The goal of Ingsoc, the ruling ideology of Oceania, is to make dissent impossible through the thorough alteration of language and the removal of words which could represent ideas that are not in line with Ingsoc, a process called "Newspeak". It is explicitly stated, however, that none of this ideological control is directed towards the proletariat, which is said to make up 85% of Oceania's population. The proles are not expected to learn Newspeak, they are not monitored by the telescreens, because as is stated quite frankly in the book, "the masses never revolt of their own accord, and they never revolt merely because they are oppressed." That this line is given by the villain of the story is unimportant, because the story never refutes it.
While Winston routinely repeats his belief that "hope lies in the proles", he is consistently met with scenes that challenge his faith whenever he winds up interacting with the proletariat. His conversations with proles reveal their total lack of concern with politics or history. He hears a crowd erupt into chaos and briefly hopes it's the proletarian uprising he is waiting for, only to find it's simply a riot over consumer goods. They are more than once compared to animals. While it is said in exposition that intelligent members of the proletariat who might end up fomenting dissent are eliminated, this is never actually depicted. We don't see Winston meeting with a single intelligent and politically conscious prole. The most intelligent prole he meets turns out to be a secret member of the "Thought Police". And so, the concept remains theoretical.
Winston is depicted as an ardent materialist, desperately defending the notion of external reality against deranged idealists who believe that through control of thought, control of reality becomes possible. But the world he lives in is not material. It is fictional, of course, but more than that, the fictional world described operates on idealistic principles even from Winston's own perspective. Winston's worldview is a faith based one, appealing not to any material basis for liberation but purely to emotion. It is love and the spirit of humanity that is the basis of freedom, and material freedom springs forth from it. Anyone who thinks otherwise is merely a trickster trying to control the masses.
Orwell rejected the material basis of history because he rejected the idea of a revolution on a material basis. To him, the revolution must be an ideological one, and the problem lie not in how society and the economy are organized but in the existence of hateful "authoritarian" ideologies governing the world. He believed the material basis was already here, that industry alone was the solution to material inequality, and so we must concern ourselves now only with the idea of equality and freedom, and from an abstract and universal viewpoint to boot. It is intolerable to him that a revolution be fought against an actual enemy in the real world. The problem is not that the capitalists are in control of the means of production, the problem is that the workers are too stupid to disobey them. A real revolutionary class would spontaneously throw off its own shackles through thought alone. It doesn't matter that Orwell was a lackey and a snitch, because in his mind he was freer and smarter than everyone else.
The bravery of Winston Smith was in recognizing the existence of a material reality that lies and propaganda could never destroy even while being tortured into believing such absurd notions as "two plus two equals five". But Orwell was never tortured into any of his incorrect beliefs. His incorrect beliefs stem purely from accepting the official narrative that he was fed and refusing to investigate its veracity for himself. Orwell's writing was used as propaganda against the designated enemy of the UK throughout the Cold War, adapted countless times in the forms of radio plays, TV shows, movies, and comic books. He never made an effort to actually travel to the Soviet Union to find out if what he was told about the country was true. All the other upper middle class "left-wing" intellectuals he hung out with seemed to be just as concerned as he was with the rising tide of "totalitarianism" and the supposed excesses of the Soviet Union, so why shouldn't he agree? He was in this regard no different than the Western "socialists" of the modern day who have no shortage of vitriol towards China or North Korea. Yes, he might performatively rail against chauvinism and nationalism, but only enough to ensure that he wouldn't be seen as a conservative. He still knew in his heart that his country was surely better than those barbarous communists in the East.
Yes Orwell was sexist and homophobic, and despite his best efforts he remained plagued by racist and antisemitic attitudes, but in addition to all that his books promulgated a view of the world entirely in line with British bourgeois values, which is why they were so eagerly used as propaganda by the British government. The Nazis were bad and the Soviets were bad because they were both authoritarian, and the differences between them were negligible and unworthy of mention. The references 1984 makes to the shifting alliances in Oceania, "we are at war with Eurasia" becoming "we are at war with Eastasia" and vice-versa, are most likely allegories for the shifting alliances of Britain at the time, how they viewed the Soviets as an enemy before the war, as an ally during the war, and as an enemy again once the war was over. Orwell viewed himself as above all of this simply because his view of the Soviets never changed at any point throughout this.
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Worth the Wait
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Pairing: Fem!Reader X Togame jo, character all 21+, readers hair color/texture and skin color unspecified
Summary: You never thought much of you're little brother's best friend when you were younger. He was just another annoying kid your brother brought around. But Togame grew into himself in adulthood, totally changing your view of him. Little did you know he has been crushing on you for quite some time.
Word Count: 3k
Warnings: smoking, Togame has like some pervy thoughts I guess, face sitting, unprotected sex, cream pie, Choji calls while they're fucking and Togame answers, don't read if aging up characters bothers you. Not proof read. MDNI
Togame could remember the first time he saw you easily. The sight of you laying out in a bikini was quite literally seared into his brain.
He'd been friends with Choji for awhile at that point. They became fast friend after Togame had moved into the neighborhood and started at the same middle school as Choji. They bonded over their mutual disinterest in academics and a shared interest in getting in trouble.
That day was the first time Togame went to Choji's house. It was warm, one of the first days of summer break. Togame was excited to have a whole 2 months of freedom from the drag of classes and homework. He was certain this first summer in Choji's friend group would be one to remember. But first, they needed money for the arcade.
When Togame rounded the corner into Choji's backyard and saw you laying there he stopped dead in his tracks. Choji had mentioned he had a sister, but pretty much only spoke of you being a bitch. Togame really hadn't thought much of what you'd look like. Really, he just imagined Choji with long hair and lipstick, which wasn't a pretty sight. It was safe to say you were nothing like he expected.
His eyes had shamelessly raked up and down your body as you tanned. The skimpy bikini you wore made him damn near weak in the knees. He could tell you were older, probably in high school. Realistically, it was only a few years older than he was, but it made you seem so adult, so out of his league.
"What are you losers doing here?" You had grumbled when you noticed their presence. The look you gave them was disinterested, bordering on rude, but it sealed Togame's fate. He reckons his affinity for mean women was sparked in that moment.
And so for many years he's harbored this crush on you. Of course he had other girlfriends and hook ups, but none could live up to the enigma that you were. His want of you was the only secret he kept from Choji, considering it to be bad bro code to tell your friend how hot you thought their sister was. His secrecy proved to be good judgement.
Every once in awhile, some idiot new recruit would make a comment about how hot you were within Choji's earshot and let's just say they met a very unpleasant ejection from the gang. The worst he saw was the guy who said he'd 'like to have your lips around his dick.' Nobody dared even look at you for a while after that.
That comment was crude, even for Togame's standards. But he would be a hypocrite if he didn't admit he thought things like that. He wasn't particularly proud to admit what he'd done with those thoughts. Many times he had fisted his cock to the thought of you, wishing he could blow his load inside you rather than in his hand.
He'll never forget the time he was over and you walked out of the bathroom in just a towel. Your skin was flushed and glistening from the shower. "Out of my way weirdo," you had snapped, pushing past him. He hadn't cared you called him a weirdo, not one bit. Your skin had brushed against him, all while you were wearing nothing but a towel. The thought of just a single strip of fabric separating your naked body from him is what really did him in. He ended up jerking off in the bathroom, shooting ropes of cum into the toilet. Definitely not his proudest moment, but better than having someone notice he was rock hard.
For you, Togame was not someone you payed much attention to for the longest time. When Choji was a kid he was... a bit much. He often didn't keep friends long and so you never bothered to learn names or even faces. Togame, though, was the first friend Choji had that lasted. But that didn't really change your opinion of him for awhile. He was just another one of your brother's weird friends.
However as you got older, the bickering between you and your brother lessened and you developed a closer relationship. Because Choji and Togame spent so much time together, it naturally led to you becoming more acquainted with him.
On this particular evening you were at a Shisitoren party. Choji tried to keep you from attending his gang's parties for the longest time, but it would be a cold day in hell before you let your little brother tell you what to do. When you slipped out of the packed house to get some air, you found Togame smoking a joint in the backyard.
Togame had changed a lot since you met him. He'd always been on the taller side, but lanky in his youth. In adulthood he had shot up even more, towering over you. But it wasn't just height that grew, it was his whole stature. He'd become so much broader, muscle defining his body. You would have once described his eyes as goofy, too big for his face. Now they sat perfectly with his features, the emerald tone entrancing. It hit you one day that you found your little brother's friend attractive and you didn't really know what to do with that.
"What are you doing out here Togame?" you questioned, pulling his joint out of his hands and taking a hit. If anyone else did that, he'd find it annoying, but from you? He loved it. He couldn't pull his eyes away from your lips as the wrapped around it, his mind immediately going to a very inappropriate place.
"Think you've known me long enough to call me Jo," Togame replied, purposefully brushing his fingers against yours as you passed the joint back to him. He could taste your gloss on it as he took another hit. It was sweet, like candy. He wished he could taste it on your lips.
"Guess you're right about that," you said. Togame held out the joint for you to finish. Instead of taking it, you leaned and allowed him to hold it as you took a hit. "Thanks Jo." You made a point to over emphasize his name as your eyes flicked up to his. Togame grinned, the sound of his name as you smoked his weed making his body buzz.
"You never answered my question by the way."
Togame shrugged. "It was a bit crowded in there. The new recruits are..."
"Lame?" you finished for him. All of them seemed too nervous to talk to you. It made these parties rather boring.
"Ya know if someone talks shit about our guys I'm supposed to kick their ass," Togame replied.
"I'd like to see you try. Choji isn't the only one in the family that can fight," you said.
Togame smirked. "That's kinda hot."
The last few months, your relationship felt shifted with Togame. You weren't sure if it was just because you realized you were attracted to him, and thus you were reading into things more. You noticed he dropped little comments like that, seemingly a joke but certainly could be suggestive. Not that you were innocent of this; you had done your fair share of flirting recently.
"Just kinda? That's disappointing," you replied. "Though I guess that's all I'm gonna get from you Shisitoren guys. My brother's got you all on a leash."
"The guys are scared of Choji," Togame shrugged. "You know how he is."
"Well I'm not scared of him. I'm his older sister, I don't need him trying to control me," you said.
Togame put his hands up innocently. "Hey don't shoot the messenger. I'm just saying that's what the guys are thinking. They fuck you or something and Choji will be on their ass." Togmae couldn't contain his interest. "Is there a guy here you're trying to hook up with?"
It was moments like this you felt that Togame could look right into your head and read your thoughts. "Wouldn't you like to know."
Togame grinned. "Oh I would." He was silent for a beat, considering his next move. Maybe it was the weed lowering his inhibitions, or the way you've been more flirtatious, or just his patience wearing thin after all these years, but he was feeling bold. He took a step closer yo you, his scent filling your lungs. You had to tilt your head up to look at him. "But you may like to know that I'm not scared of Choji."
Oh?
"Hmm, I think I'm gonna need you to prove that to me, Jo," you challenged.
Togame's eyes twinkled with desire. He had a good feeling you were gonna take him up on the offer, but hearing you confirm it made him almost giddy. "We could leave now and no one would notice." Togame gesturing to the party going on inside. "You have your own place now, right?"
And the next thing you knew, Togame was on top of you in your bed. He kissed you deeply, his mouth confident and languid against yours. You had a sneaking suspicious Togame would be a good kisser and you were absolutely right. You slid your fingers into his dark hair, gripping it to pull him closer.
"Fuck," Togame pulled away, slightly breathless. "You have no idea how long I've wanted to do this." His eyes slid over your body, licking his lips at the thought of stripping your clothes off you.
"Don't tell me you've had a crush on me Togame," you teased. You nipped at his neck, grinding your body up against his.
"Guilty," Togame replied, slipping his hands under your shirt. "I'll never forget the first time I saw you. You were in this tiny little bikini. Been dreaming bout what your tits look like ever since."
You laughed, vaguely remembering the day he was talking about. "But I was such a bitch to you."
Togame squeezed your tits over your bra. "That's why I liked you." He yanked your top off and made quick work of your bra. "Even better than I imagined," he grinned. He licked up the valley between your breast as he massaged them with his hands. His lips found your right nipple, sucking on it to the point of sensitivity while he rolled your left nippled between his fingers. You let out soft moans, rubbing against him for friction. He could feel himself getting harder by the minute, but he was not rushing this after all this time. He kissed is way over to the other breast, repeating the process.
When he finally pulled away, he couldn't help but smile as he admired his work. Your tits were red and swollen from his sucking, glistening with his salvia. He wished he could take a picture.
"You look hot like this," he mused. You took the opportunity of him being distracted to flip him over so you were on top of him straddling his lad. Togame looked up at you with surprise and desire.
"Bet I look even hotter like this," you replied, slipping your hands his shirt and pulling it off. Togame couldn't argue with that. He went to grab your tits, but you slapped his hand away. "No touching till I say so."
Togame let out a groan as you pinned his hands over his head and kissed him. It was maddening, feeling your lips and tongue tangle with his all while you rocked your core against his hardened cock. He wanted to touch you so bad, but not being able to mad it hotter some how. He'd never been with a woman who took charge at all and he loving every second. You both knew he could over power you if he really wanted, but he didn't. He enjoyed feeling at your mercy.
"What do you wanna do to me, Jo?" You asked against his neck. You licked and sucked at his skin.
"Wanna taste you so fucking bad," he replied, his hips grinding up against your. His cock was staring against his boxers and pants, desperate for release, but there was no way he was passing up an opportunity to bury his face in your cunt.
"Mmm want me to sit on your face, huh?"
"Please." There was an edge of desperation to his voice that drove you wild. You released his arms, allowing him to help you out of the rest of your clothes. He licked his lips as you crawled up his body, positioning yourself over him. Togame gripped your hips and pulled you down on to him. He moaned into your cunt as he licked up your slit.
Togame took his time, exploring your cunt with lush, languid strokes of his tongue. He swirled around your clit, sucking it lightly, before teasing your hole. He pressed his tongue deeper inside you, pulling a sensual gasp from your lips.
"Fuck Jo." You rocked your hips against his face, chasing the high that was building up in your body. His nose brushed against your throbbing clit, heightening your pleasure. Togame fucked his tongue into faster, desperate to feel you cum on his face.
His wish was granted with just a few more flicks of his tongue. You cried out his name, the sweetest sound he ever heard, as your body pulsed with pleasure. Your release coated his lips and and tongue and he drank it all in.
"Fuck you're so sweet," Togame panted when you finally slid off of him. He was shamelessly licking his lips clean. He climbed on top of you, an eager glint in his eyes. "If I have to wait any longer to be inside you my dicks gonna explode."
You snorted and rolled your eyes. "How charming."
Togame stripped off his pants and you shamelessly stared at the size of him. Not only was he long, but deliciously thick. Your thighs rubbed together in anticipation.
Togame couldn't contain the deep groan as he slid inside you. He's fantasized about this moment countless times. He's dreamed of how it would feel to have your cunt wrapped around him, sucking him into your wet warmth. Not one of his fantasies compared to the real feel of you.
"Fuck angel you feel amazing." He slowly rolled his hips, savoring every inch of you squeezing him. He couldn't go any faster, not just because he didn't wanna rush this moment, but because he didn't trust himself not to bust too quickly. You were happy to let him take his time as you adjusted to stretch of him deep inside you.
Suddenly, Togame's phone buzzed on where he left it on your nightstand. "Shit it's Choji," he grumbled.
"Are you seriously answering that right now?" you questioned.
"I gotta, he'll be suspicious if I don't." You were about to protest, but Togame already clicked the little green accept call button. "What's up Choji?" he said casually. You could only hear one side of the conversation, but you got the gist of it.
"Your sister?" Togame replied. His eyes dropped down to where he was buried deep inside. "No, sorry I don't know where she is." He winked at you, smiling wickedly. You rolled your eyes, not a Togame, but at your brother for questioning your whereabouts.
"Oh, I'm sure she's doing just fine," Togame smirked at you. "Probably just got bored and went home... yeah I went home too, recruits were boring the shit out of me... sure, if I hear anything about it I'll call you." Togame hung up and tossed his phone aside. "You might wanna text your brother, he's annoyed he can't find you."
Your grumbled, reaching for your phone. The last thing you wanted to do was text your brother while a man - his best friend no less - was literally inside you. But you didn't trust him to not show up unannounced. Unsurprisingly you had a few missed texts from him.
Relax dude I just got tired and left
And I don’t need you calling Togame to hunt me down
"Alright now you better fuck me good enough that I forget you literally answered a call from my brother mid sex," you snapped at him. You wrapped your legs around his hips and pressed him deeper into you. The pressure caused him to lean lower over you, his face just inches from yours.
"My pleasure." Togame was so deep in you as fucked into you. You nipped at his neck and shoulders, stifled your moans against his warm skin. "God, you feel so fucking good," he babbled, "Never had pussy like this."
Your cunt fluttered at his words, only egging him on more. You could feel him throbbing inside you as you dragged your nails down his back. Togame gritted his teeth, loving how the pain of it missed with pleasure. It didn't take much more of his fat tip brushing your sweet spot to pull another orgasm from you.
"Jo -ngh." Your whole body shook with bliss. You clamped down on Togame impossibly harder, pulling a string of curses from him.
"Fuck, can I cum in you?" Togame groaned. He was so grateful that you nodded eagerly because honestly he wasn't sure if he would have been able to stop himself. With a low grunt his hips stuttered and spilled inside you. You rolled your hips up to meet his, savoring the full, warm feeling. Togame held thought he died and went to heaven.
"My middle school self would be so proud of me right now," Togame said when he finally rolled off you. "So worth the wait."
"You're still kinda weird," you replied, "but that was good enough that I'll let it slide."
Togame grinned. "That's all just part of my charm." You rolled your eyes and reached to check your phone. 5 missed texts from Choji.
Okay good. Don't leave without telling me next time
Wait... how did you know I called Togame?
Are you with Togame?
Y/n fucking answer me
I'm going to fucking kill him
Shit.
"Uh, I may have gotten you in trouble," you said. You flipped your phone over for Togame to read. You expected him to get angry or freak out, but he only shrugged.
"Like I said, I'm not scared of him." Togame yawned, truly unbothered. "Besides, you were so worth as beating."
#finally I release something#it's been 5 million years#togame smut#togame jo x reader#togame x reader#togame x you#wind breaker smut#wind breaker headcanons#wind breaker x reader
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could I request creepypasta x reader who can take their head off
Various crps x reader who can take their head off
pretending that i didnt tear up the roof of my mouth while eating my dinner shhhshhhh ignoring that my bottom front teeth rest on the roof of my mouth right where its all torn up thus making me hyperaware and by extension making me clench and grind subconsciously characters: jeff the killer, laughing jack, ticci toby, eyeless jack notes: reader is gn, reader isnt really human but theyre written to look human, focusing on first reactions cws: none unless you found taking ones head off as body horror? does it count? im not sure tbh.. mentions of anatomy and stuff in ejs part.. canon typical violence
LAUGHING JACK
finds it so cool, entertaining even... i like to think that he has "clown physics" to him, but im unsure if being able to dethatch limbs would be one... if he cant take his own head off hes going to be a tad bit jealous of you
sometimes yoinks your head and holds it up to his height so you can "see the world from his perspective", this is more likely if youre significantly shorter than him
if you allow it hes going to juggle your head or even "go bowling" with it... you... may get dizzy though, so agree with caution
if your head is loose and has a habit of falling off hes going to take it as a win if it falls as you laugh at one of his jokes
EYELESS JACK
honestly? not all that phased by your little party trick, at least hes not grossed out by the clear view of your necks insides- hes seen those plenty of times... both in the form of images as well as in person when hes needed to silence someone
that said looking at in tact neat remains is different than seeing it all messed up or in a diagram, so if you dont mind he would like to take a look at least once... totally not making notes for future reference
not many questions otherwise, surprisingly... i mean hes a man eating demon of sorts who mostly gets nutrients from eating the organs of humans- he doesnt have much place to ask you what you are exactly or what caused this sort of thing to happen
doesnt ask you to show off your trick, finds no interest in asking you to take your head off and goof off with it unlike some of the others
TICCI TOBY
oh! thats his partner taking off their head.... OH! THATS HIS PARTNER TAKING OFF THEIR HEAD- he... genuinely needs a second to process what hes looking at because it catches him so off guard, you only told him you had a party trick to show him
lots of questions, main one being how and why- were you not a living human this whole time? a little betrayed that you didnt tell him sooner, actually- and even if you did, why didnt you show him this sooner?
traces his fingers along your neck where it separates, after you put your head back on- even more impressed if theres no mark left behind
like jeff, hes going to try to get you to play some jokes on people- though its likely hes going to pull them on masky and/or hoodie
sometimes carries your head around with him while hes working- ignore how morbid of a sight thatd be..! he just wants some company without making it too obvious!
JEFF THE KILLER
stares wide eyed for a few seconds... ignoring that he doesnt have his eye lids anymore so hes always looking at you wide eyed-- thinks he may have actually lost it for a second before cracking up
probably one of the last things hes expected you to do but hey, he thinks its pretty wicked!
oh hes definitely going to try to get you to use your quirk to scare some unsuspecting people who are walking around- perhaps do it late at night for some added effect? and if they lash out he can always swoop in and come to your aid
will push your head off of your neck if youre being a smartass or generally lightly getting onto his nerves- not a hard push, but enough to knock your head loose
#creepypasta x reader#creepypasta x you#creepypasta imagine#crp x reader#crp x you#crp imagine#laughing jack x reader#laughing jack x you#laughing jack imagine#eyeless jack x reader#eyeless jack x you#eyeless jack imagine#ticci toby x reader#ticci toby x you#ticci toby imagine#jeff the killer x reader#jeff the killer x you#jeff the killer imagine#canon x reader#canon x you#x reader
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I don't know...I know Elain isn't a fully fleshed out character yet and she's kind of "there" sometimes (compared to her other sisters who have more "strong-willed" personalities). But I guess I don't like the hypocrisy where some people can recognize, understand, and sympathize with Nesta's trauma responses, but can't do the same with Elain's. We can acknowledge that Nesta's abrasive and sharp disposition is due to trauma and her upbringing (which makes her such a compelling character in how she deals with the world around her), but when it comes to Elain, we can't give her that same grace. Instead, she's considered spoiled, or selfish, or hiding behind "big strong Azriel" or "mean vicious Nesta" to "protect her" from "nasty people" and like...ugh that's such a one dimensional, cartoonish view of her after what she's been through? I don't want to deny that Elain has probably been spoiled during her upbringing (mainly by her father) or that she's sheltered (by Nesta but also Feyre) but I don't think it's a stretch to think that her treatment in the past influenced how she deals with her trauma (and you can say the same for all the sisters...).
I see so many popular posts on Tumblr advocating for the "soft girl" archetypes because we don't see enough of that in fantasy and when we do, they're often cast off to the side or are undervalued. We want to see different types of female empowerment and strength instead of "aggressive girl with sword". But when a female character's trauma isn't "loud", when their trauma presents in the form of people pleasing instead of people bashing or becoming catatonic and doted on by everyone instead of becoming self-destructive and isolating themselves from everyone, then we don't recognize that as a trauma response. Instead, it's spoiled, or selfish, or golden child syndrome.
Because Elain's trauma responses aren't destructive, it's like people think she's "living it up" in her "perfect, sheltered" life where everyone loves her because she's kind and agreeable. And maybe the IC might see her that way, but people pleasing and being sheltered are also unhealthy coping mechanisms, as are lashing out and pushing people away. We wanted Nesta to stop drinking and self destructing, we wanted her to improve her mental health. And she did I guess...(though the methods for how the story went about it are so controversial to say the least....). We also want Elain to stop being sheltered and being a people pleaser. We also want her health to improve.
It's more than okay to dislike Elain (sometimes her character archetype isn't everyone's cup of tea, totally valid). But I just wish fandom gave her a little more nuance and grace like they do other characters. I'm personally interested in seeing Elain develop as a character and gain strength in her own unique way.
#elain archeron#pro elain archeron#acotar#nesta archeron#a court of thorns and roses#bookworm#my posts#as i always like to say....nuance is dead
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If you're willing, would you share some of your thoughts about zenos? I just met him in my playthrough and I'm already obsessed and curious about how people misinterpret him
I have many thoughts on Zenos ahaha you can find a lot of my long-winded rambles about him in my tag for him! There will definitely be spoilers in this for both stormblood and endwalker, so if you're just going through stormblood for the first time I'd advise saving this to read later!
But in reference to the thing I was talking about with my partner yesterday was mainly like, how there's this idea people have of Zenos that he enjoys killing when it's simply not the case. Now don't misunderstand-- he doesn't hate it either. He's not remorseful. He's not even trying to justify the action. It's just totally meaningless to him.
When he's urging on the wol to be more violent and to let themselves loose against him, it's not for the sake of simply sowing more destruction. He wants to bring the wol down to his own level in order to debase himself. The reason he wants to encourage the wol to hurt him is because being challenged by them is the only thing making him feel alive. The destruction is something of just a natural consequence of that, of showing the wol that Zenos sees them as two sides of the same coin. Zenos is the emperor's attack dog more than his son, the wol is in turn the alliance's attack dog more than their ally (or so he thinks!).
When he talks about "the hunt" it's less this whimsical mass murder that people point it out to be, and really him seeking purpose, meaning, and happiness in the only messed up way he knows how. As a child he was only given praise and attention for causing harm, so he seeks an opponent that can harm him in return so he can feel something, anything. When he's collecting weapons from fallen warriors, they're not trophies or spoils of war, he's specifically interested in the history of the weapons.
I think it's maybe easy to forget, I mean stormblood was so long ago now and while the characterization is still there in endwalker, it's colored by the perception of others. Isse and the other Domans choosing freedom over fear, no matter how hopeless things are.
Jullus wanting to know why he would betray his countrymen and pleading to his empathy, when Zenos was shaped into a weapon by that empire and holds no love for his nation. Alisaie telling him that while he may have found a spark of joy in fighting with the wol, without empathy for others he will find himself alone and bereft of the one thing that makes him happy.
Zero trying to wrap her head around the way Zenos discarded lives as though they were nothing, while bearing some undefinable emotion toward the wol (obsession, competitiveness, devotion, fondness-- she's not able to define it and I think it's meant to be vague for the player's sake). All these characters in their words with and about Zenos do lay it out clear that he is someone who is devoid of emotions except for the relationship he has to the wol, but I think because they are rightly condemning him for the lives he has taken and destroyed, people misconstrue that to mean he likes killing. There's a sort of malice attributed to his actions when it's really just nihilism.
Now, I'm not saying that because he didn't like it, it means it's fine or something. I know people like to interpret it that way when you like a villain in anything lol. All this to say, this idea of Zenos being a psychopath gleefully murdering people is so far from the truth. He's a very broken man with deep traumas and depression, finding happiness only in wanting to be hurt and killed by the wol.
Maybe at the end of the day, it doesn't matter whether he likes it or doesn't-- I find to most people it makes no difference, so it's easy for them to conflate the two things. But I think Zenos' very existence challenges how the player views their own actions. In the same way that Elidibus in the ShB 5.3 quest Faded Memories reflected back at them all the death and destruction that the wol has caused-- intentional or not-- I think Zenos serves a similar purpose narratively. He questions why, he questions what are good or evil really, and asserts that there's no point in trying to find a justification for death and murder.
I can see why it makes people uncomfortable! He's reminding the wol that they have killed just as much as he did, and questioning the "justice" behind the wol's actions. It's an uncomfortable thing to think about. I think it would be fun to have a wol that comes out of endwalker as a pacifist tbqh!
(Not to get on a tangent, but I totally thought post-HW and especially with the DRG 70 quest, that Estinien was going down that road. I was really sold on the idea just by my own interpretation of his actions and words, only for him to be not only just fine with fighting still but to be actually kind of into it for the sport, just with more humility and empathy now. Total missed opportunity imo! But this is not a post about Estinien!! 😤)
Going back to Zenos though, I think it's easier for people to not grant him a shred of empathy and to write off all his actions as those of a madman. He does after all say he wants the world to burn, for the selfish reason of having the wol all to himself. I get it's uncomfortable for the player character to be the one at the center of his attention. I get it!! But gosh there is a much more interesting character in there than just "guy who gets off on killing", if you just open your eyes and ears for a moment.
I do think that, given the themes in ffxiv's story overall, that granting empathy and forgiveness to even the worst of people is kind of the driving force behind a lot of characters' motivations. Raubahn recognizes Ilberd did all he did for the sake of their shared nation's freedom and future; Estinien recognizes Nidhogg was grieving and in pain as much as he was, leading to vengeance; Hien recognizes the cruelty of her family and others in Doma failed Yotsuyu every moment of her life, shaping her into a tyrant; Lyse recognizes the unrest in Ala Mhigo failed Fordola, pushing her into the false hope the Empire offered; all the scions and the wol recognize how the unsundered ascians bore the responsibility of their entire people on their shoulders and did the unthinkable to try to save their own; Wuk Lamat recognizes Sphene acts out of love and preservation for her people, no matter what it takes. On and on and on.
So I find it odd that Zenos never gets that sort of grace! It's easier to just make an enemy out of him than to see things from his perspective, even while most of the other antagonists are given some degree of empathy while still acknowledging they were wrong and had to be stopped.
He's really neat. I'd put him under a microscope and study him if his ass wasn't too big to fit on the slide.
#me: yeah I'll just write a quick explanation here#also me: let me cite my sources tho 🤪#I've probably said a lot of this stuff before but yeah here you go#hope that any of this makes sense#endwalker spoilers#ffxiv#text#zenos yae galvus
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Last night I was discussing with @ernestonlysayslovelythings that one of the things Gilmore Girls does really well is nuance. In terms of conflict, most characters will be a little bit right and a little bit wrong (as it tends to be in life), and yet many viewers will automatically side with one particular character. Lorelai and Rory (Rory in particular) tend to often be seen as in the wrong, and this intrigues and frustrates me. While a lot of the time they are 'in the wrong', so is the other character, and yet this is rarely acknowledged. Information which the other character has (and the audience has) is not given to Lorelai and Rory and yet they are still criticised for it (which other posts have gone into).
Emily and Paris are fan favourites and it's easy to understand why; they are funny, sarcastic and outspoken and yet also have vulnerability. Viewers will often take Emily's side in an argument with Lorelai and Paris's with Rory, which I find frustrating, because the reasoning seems to be either that Emily and Paris are 'more funny' or that Lorelai and Rory are 'annoying'. Emily and Paris are funny (Paris in particular is exaggerated as a side character) but they can also be very mean. Lorelai and Rory are not intentionally mean, generally speaking, yet a key element of Emily and Paris's characterisation is unkindness. Of course, this is largely for comedic effect (such as Emily firing maids and Paris making Brad cry), and yet Lorelai and Rory seem to be held to a higher standard. Emily and Paris can be very cruel to Lorelai and Rory (ie Emily's ongoing disgust over her daughter's romantic life or lack of and Paris bullying Rory at school) but it doesn't seem to 'count'. Viewers identify the reasons for this; such as Emily's hurt over Lorelai running away or Paris feeling intimidated by Rory, but do not extend the same understanding to Lorelai and Rory. Lorelai can be immature and shut out her parents, which is due to an unhappy childhood, and Rory sometimes wants space (which I don't personally find unreasonable), but that apparently means they're 'arrogant'.
This lack of nuance is also notable with Jess. With non-Literati shippers, many viewers write Jess off as the asshole exboyfriend who has 'exaggerated' his unhappy life with Liz and is 'ungrateful' to Luke. On the flip side, many Literati shippers take the view that Jess never does anything wrong and Luke is a total jerk. Again, there is nuance here; Jess is not infallible and, like all the characters, he is right and wrong about certain things. While there is zero evidence that Jess exaggerated anything (although some fans seem to exaggerate for him), he can be rude and perhaps seem ungrateful, but it is understandable. He acts this way because he had an unreliable mother who sent him to live in a strange town with his uncle without any say, and he lashes out because he is angry and not listened to. In S6 when Jess has grown up, he appreciates what Luke did for him, because he has the maturity to see it. Luke, for his part, did his best and also messed up because he stubbornly thought he knew what he was doing, and didn't think he needed advice. It does not negate the fact that he cared and tried his hardest. As with Lorelai and Emily, Luke and Jess are both right and both wrong with their reaction to things.
It's also interesting that within Literati shippers, the majority of people will take Jess's side in a conflict with him and Rory. Jess and Rory are flawed people (who are also very young) who manage to hurt each other deeply. Rory runs away after kissing Jess because she does not know how to handle her feelings, which Jess perceives as her thinking he isn't worth staying for and, a year later, Jess leaves town without saying goodbye, which Rory also wrongly perceives as a rejection. Neither of them intend to be cruel and yet, according to numerous Lit shippers, Jess was hurting and Rory 'couldn't see it'. Of course she couldn't see it - Jess never communicated to her that he was in trouble at high school and had to drop out, or that his father showed up, or anything else going on with him. She could see something was wrong but couldn't help him. Likewise, Rory never communicated to Jess that she was feeling mixed up about being with Dean and later with Logan, but somehow this understanding isn't extended to Rory. Jess and Rory are both fallible and are both written with excellent nuance.
One of the best things about Gilmore Girls is how well it reflects growing up and our relationships in real life. Situations are rarely binary and, as we mature, we can often look at conflict more objectively and see 'the other side'. Lorelai and Rory, along with most of the characters they interact with, are written with depth. When they mess up or miscommunicate, it doesn't mean they 'wrong' or not worth caring about - it means they have something to learn from. They are funny, frustrating, vulnerable and have moments of clarity, just as with real people.
#gilmore girls#lorelai gilmore#rory gilmore#jess mariano#lierati#kind of#analysis#I don't get the number of people who watch gilmore girls yet hate the main characters#like why are you even watching it#and I'm sure lorelai and rory have moments of unkindness#but it is not their main character trait#as it is with emily and paris#and side characters are always given less of a hard time#and this is all with the caveat that all of the characters' choices are for plot#they don't have an agenda outside the page#mistakes are made for an interesting storyline
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love trending
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pairing changbin x reader
genre romance, meet cute, love at first sight, humor, fluff
summary somehow, someway, seo changbin finds and likes a TikTok of yours, and you think that single like is the end of your fleeting encounter. but fate has other plans...
a/n hi, hello, hope everyone is doing well! so how many times do we think i can sneak post on roo's tumblr before she removes my access. lol anyway. this is her birthday present that i totally didn't write in literally two nights on a whim. and misled her about the plot (but not really). i hope everyone enjoys, and happy birthday roo :)
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You'll be honest - most of the time you hate your job.
It's not about the people, or the place, but mainly because you would much rather spend your time doing anything else. Singing, drawing. The puzzle books your aunt got you last year that you never found the time to glance in. Dancing, above all else. Moving to the music, dropping on beat, and matching that rhythm perfectly...the views on TikTok didn't really matter to you at the end of the day, because at least you were able to do something that you loved.
Performing on your own time, doing your own thing. It was freeing, and exciting, and made your chest swell up in pride when you looked in the mirror and were happy with what looked back at you. You weren't someone held down by the push and go of life, when you danced, or after.
You were exactly who you wanted to be.
"You know I think your break was up like, five minutes ago," Seulji whispers as she slides into the booth next to you, shoulder bumping with yours. "Do you think anyone noticed?"
"Aren't you supposed to be serving customers?" you say without looking up from your phone, flicking to the next social media post. Your lips curve in a smile when one of your favorite groups pops up, starting a live. You click into it, and send a few hearts as soon as you're able to. Your chest fills - something small to help get you through the day. It was nice having silly little things like this to look forward to from a music group you enjoyed listening to.
"Only when they ask," Seulji quips, sliding closer, tone playful. She's been your co-worker for ages, and you got along better than most, sarcasm your second language. The customers always left gleaming reviews about the two of you, so the manager was lenient. You really couldn't complain.
Until Seulji glances at your phone screen and the teasing begins.
"Your boyfriend's doing a live again?" she questions with a knowing curve to her lips.
You blush, stomach twisting with an emotion you don't know how to name. Sure, you were a little too interested at times, but what was wrong with that? You weren't over the top, or crazy, or...anything you wouldn't want to admit. You were just up to date on their next shows, the newest album, the cutest member of the group...
"Stop that," you chide quietly, pulling your phone closer. "And this isn't even the right one."
At the end of the day, Seulji was just playing around, and you knew that. She had even gone the extra mile to try and learn some of their names, though she was still confusing one or two. But still -
"Oh right, sorry. Wrong arms," she groans, though she's still smiling wide. "Is this one...Hyunjin?"
You're happily shocked. Had she finally dived into the video folder you'd left sitting open for her a few weeks ago? You knew it was a slippery slope; it was easy to sink in once you were hooked. Maybe she finally took the bait. "Yes, actually," you say, turning to give her a look, "how did you know?"
Seulji shrugs, busy fiddling away on her own phone.
She's probably texting her boyfriend. It was all she ever did these days, and the thought didn't make you all that jealous. Or maybe it did? You weren't sure. All you knew was that they got together one Friday evening through a cupcake prom ask, and it was all Seulji did since. It was maybe the one thing she did that left a bad taste in your mouth, but what did you know? Maybe you would act the same if you ever got a boyfriend of your own, though the ten cats and barn idea was still something you were starting to prefer after every failed attempt at a date.
The bell above the front door rings a few times then, and you lift your head once you notice that the chatter around your hidden corner booth has grown. The line for coffee and pastries has grown enough that the two left behind the counter have grown frantic, rushing around each other. The manager is busy dealing with a very not nice-looking customer at the end, going over their receipt line by line.
You exhale and drag yourself out of the booth, throwing your phone in your pocket and fixing your apron as you go, strapping your hat around your messy bun. "Wish me luck," you tell Seulji, who gives a wave of her hand and a few words of encouragement in response before turning back to her phone.
The sudden crowd is easy to manage once you get back into the swing of things, and the noise of the small cafe has died down considerably as you turn back around to help the next customer in line, who was hiding behind the rest of the line in a baseball cap and a dark sweatshirt and baggy pants. A face mask covers the bottom half of his face as he greets you, eyes crinkling with his hello.
And something about his eyes, the tone of his voice, the rough edge - you swear you've heard it before.
For a long moment, you just look at him, lost in thought. Why did he seem familiar? You don't think you've met him before, because you were usually good with faces, but this was throwing you off. It was a nice day out too, why would someone be so keen to be hidden when -
"I might sound absolutely crazy but do I know you, somehow?" The words are flying out of your mouth before you can stop them, and you are mortified, but then to your surprise, he simply laughs and ducks his head, fingers fumbling around the crumpled money he holds in his hands.
When he lifts his head again, he's looking right at you, searching for something. After a minute that feels as though it lasts for eternity, it seems he finds whatever it was he was looking for, and leans in, one arm against the counter. He lifts a hand up to tug his mask down, and you're meant with the softest smile you've ever seen, and a face you would never forget.
Your heart jumps, and you wonder if you gasp out loud by accident.
"Oh my god," you whisper, barely able to contain yourself. But there's still a good amount of people in the shop, and he obviously left the house in the best disguise he could muster, so the last thing you want to do is be the cause of him being recognized by anyone else, especially if he seemed to trust you enough to reveal who he was in the first place. "What are you doing here?"
You're so dumb, you think a second after the words have left you, and you're preparing yourself for him to say it right back to you, but he simply chuckles and gives a small wave of his hand. "I'm hungry," he replies easily, grinning, an echo of a long-lost moment you swear you've watched on a few too many times. "Where else would I go?"
You're absolutely freaking out.
You can't believe this is happening right now, let alone to you. Oh gosh, what if someone sees? What if you say something too loud? You want to say his name but then you're too afraid you'll draw too much attention, and what with phones and cameras everywhere these days, but oh good god it's Seo Changbin in front of you and you have never felt more like a fangirl until this very moment.
"I'm - oh my," you stumble and stutter for a moment, and your face is burning hot, and your stomach is fluttering and your chest is tight, and all too suddenly you don't understand what is happening as your next breath falters in your throat -
And then a warm hand is gently gripping at your wrist.
"Hey," he says. Kind. Far too kind. "Take a deep breath for me." He pauses, and gives a tiny squeeze to your skin. "Can you do that for me?"
You nod, and then blink, once, twice. Your eyes lock with his, tracing his every feature. The concerned turn to the corner of his lips, the look in his eyes. The unruly curls that have fought their way from under his cap. The warmth of his palm pressed against your arm.
An idol is standing in front of you, and you've gone and made yourself out to be a complete fool. You're definitely someone special alright.
Eventually, you're able to push some air through your lungs. Your chest shudders with one breath, and then another, and another, until you're able to properly breathe again, and you exhale, shaking your head as soon as you're able to.
"I'm so sorry," you mumble, feeling ashamed. You're wasting his time, and there's customers still waiting, and you can feel your manager looking over at you like you've done something wrong. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean - I don't know what came over me."
Changbin's hand slips from your wrist. You miss the contact more than you'd like to admit.
"Please don't apologize," he rebukes, leaning back. He doesn't bother to put his mask back. "Are you feeling better?"
"Yes," you're quick to say, moving back over to the register. "Thank you. Sorry again." He looks happier now, eyes locked on you. His hand lingers on the counter, money nearly forgotten. If you had no restraint, you'd reach down and hold his hand. Something tells you to just say what you want to say. You decide to listen to it. "Thank you for the music that you guys make. You're amazing, and you probably don't remember but you - you liked a dance of mine a few weeks ago. I just wanted to say that it meant a lot to me. Sorry for the cringey caption."
Changbin shifts, and then...is he...blushing? You must be going crazy, or seeing things.
"I remember, actually. You were amazing."
He moves again, and you glance down, trying to avoid his gaze. You feel like some giddy schoolgirl, and you needed to reel it in. A few minutes longer and your manager would be over asking what was wrong. Be thankful and move on, right? He said he was hungry, maybe he'd like a coffee too. You could do that at the very least. Maybe he'd -
"Can I..." he stops and sighs, holding his phone out now, looking over to the left. His cheeks are dark enough for you to not be imagining anything. "Can I have your number?"
You look over at him, and then down at his phone.
You take it.
And then you put in your number, and pretend you don't see the smile he tucks into his shoulder.
---
---
Logically, you know this is the worst way to go about this. You know you'll come to regret this in the morning, mortified and blushing. And yet, as he pushes you back against the wall, and kisses you like no one else ever has, you find that you can't really bring yourself to care about what you might think of yourself in the morning.
This isn't just some random guy kissing you - this is Seo Changbin. The Changbin. The one who sought you out of millions, billions even, of users and took it upon himself to like your TikTok. And not just any TikTok, but the one of you dancing silly and stupid, a cheesy caption dazzled with hearts and arrows around his name below it.
God, the embarrassment.
(God, the thought of him seeing you out of trillions - )
"Y/N," he breathes, hot breath fanning across an exposed collarbone, shivers racing down your spine. You hadn't even noticed him pulling away, so lost in...in all of this, speechless and dumb and flushed, and then he presses a kiss to the cusp of your shoulder, and you positively melt.
You want to say something, anything, but it's hard to talk when all you can focus on is the feel of his lips, and the warmth of his chest pressing against yours, and the curve of his arms your fingers can barely wrap around -
He bites down, and your cheeks burn at the sound that escapes you, pleasant shock coursing through your body. You feel his smirk pressing against your skin, before he makes sure to take care of you, and then he's back to kissing your lips, and you wondered how you even made it through the concert.
He's gentle. Kind. It almost annoys you how careful he's being, pushing close to the limit, and then backing away before he breaks it. He's a tease like this, and you're not sure if he's doing this on purpose or waiting for you to make the first move, so you decide to make things clear. He's kind, but you know there must be something else hiding beneath, ready to take control and leave you gasping for breath.
"I won't break," you whisper, pulling away just enough that your lips brush his in the intermittent. "Just so you know." He breathes heavily against you for a long moment, one of your fingers trailing along his arm before coming to a stop on his chest, resting your palm flat against it, right where his heart is.
You swear you feel it skip a beat, and wonder how your own doesn't stop beating.
The next moment is a blur of movement as Changbin wraps his arms around your middle and lifts you up, kissing you madly as he carries you towards the couch that sits on the other side of the room, your heart racing. He holds you above it for a long moment, and then tosses you down, enough that your back bounces against the springs, but he's climbing on top of you before you can worry that you'll tumble to the ground, thick arms boxing you in.
You look up at him as he stares down at you, getting lost easily in his eyes so close to your own. He's beautiful really, up close like this, flawless honey skin and an easy smile. Saying he's handsome doesn't do him justice when he's close like this, and you find yourself at a loss for words again.
How could anyone not like him?
"I like you," he says, leaning in close. "A lot more than I should."
A feeling you can't put a name to erupts in your stomach, leaving room for nothing else. You don't know how it's possible for somebody to be this charming, on and off the screen, and you don't know how someone like this decides on you when he could have anyone else in the world.
You don't know how that makes you feel, really, when he looks at you like you are the very world itself.
"I - I like you too," you whisper, though you nearly stumble your way through, his eyes crinkling at the corners as laughs, the sound encompassing the room. "A lot."
He closes the distance, his lips brushing against your own. "I noticed," he teases, and you wonder if your cheeks can get any more red. "Is this okay?"
You nearly laugh out loud at the question, though it warms your heart that he even asked in the first place. How would this ever not be okay? Your past self would be screaming, and your future self probably still is. "Yes," you say, eyes flickering between his own and his lips, "A million times yes."
He kisses you rough then, pushing closer, arms closing you in.
You kiss back and tell yourself that you won't regret one single thing.
#stray kids#stray kids smau#skz smau#seo changbin#changbin x reader#seo changbin x reader#skz#skz fluff
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Their S/O Is a Gamer, But They Arent Really One
Characters: Pantalone, Childe, Albedo, Nilou, Tighnari x GN reader
Summary: Your partner doesnt really into playing online games, but you do, so what do they play when you introduce them and what would they be interested in playing.
Warnings: mentions of blood, and horror games but nothing bad jsut the mentions of it, otherwise just fluff, modern au
Note: love the idea of playing games with someone who has never really touched an online game, so you introduce them to some not so weird games and play with them. i sound so lonely- love you
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Pantalone
He definitely lives in a giant place, so you have your own room with a pc and all that stuff, even though he doesnt really understand it he loves you, and your hobbies are apart of you.
Would love to play something with you, but he for once isn't sure how to ask, and he doesn't have much free time. But would love to play some cozy games with you, either on a console or with him sitting in your chair while you teach him how to play.
Likes playing more business-focused games, just so he can also show off all his knowledge of marketing to you, but could also get into horror games if you played with him.
He plays the sims with you at times, and he definitely has one of the sims run a store and can make a lot of money really quickly, even without knowing what he's really doing.
Childe
He has played a few games, but only combat games where you could also see blood, so think shooters and that stuff. so if you play more cozy games, or just sweet games i dont think he would be very interested at first.
But if you wanted to play with him he totally would, he would sit next to you at his own desk and look over to see what you were doing once in a while when he was lost.
He likes playing with you but doesnt do it often, only when he really feels like it. Also loves horror games, but especially if you get scared easily so he can tease you and comfort you, plus he gets to hold your hand.
Albedo
He is definitely interested in video games, and has some on his phone that Klee can play when she's with her but he's busy.
So he has gotten you to talk a little about the games you play, and seen you play as well. But has never actually tried playing it, so he would like to try.
Likes to play dress up games, just for fun but also because he can draw the outfits and get inspiration form them. Plus he has you beside him so he can tease you by drawing you in a rather embarrassing outfit.
He's not really into the concept but still likes to just watch while he's doing an experiment, but would play science games on his own if he found one he liked.
Think if Dr. Stone made a game, so stuff with a lot of scientific aspects to it. Games that would put you to sleep after he started talking about it.
Nilou
Loves to look at you play, she sits on your lap at times to get a better view. She doesn't really take an interest to what you're doing as much, but would still love to play with you.
She would like playing the sims, making both of you and building a pretty house for you to live in. She has also made you kiss many times, but got embarrassed when you commented on it.
Would also challenge you in fitness type games, but she wins almost every time. You now have a Wii in your living room where you both do yoga together every week.
Tighnari
He is way more interested in nature, plants, and the outside world of living beings, so he hasn't really touched the concept of playing games on a computer, more so looking up information.
But he would be so into Stardew Valley, yes he does know way more about all these plants and will rant on and on about why these plants need to planted in the spring and stuff. But he would have so much fun playing if you got im into it.
GRASS, did i scare you? go out and touch some please, you need it
And yes, he is interested in what you play otherwise without him, and would encourage you to talk about it for hours just like he does with plants. He's very supportive of you and likes just looking at you play games while he studies a special species of fox that he just learned about.
Walks into your room from time to time and opens the windows, because you need more sunlight, and he doesn't accept the excuse of him being your sun, though he does blush if you say that.
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Thx for reading pookie, luv ya-Masterlist
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#genshin impact#genshin x reader#gn reader#noelle´s maiden#albedo x reader#nilou x reader#tighnari x reader#childe x reader#childe tartaglia ajax#pantalone#pantalone x reader#video games#online games#gaming
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