#atheist to christian

[villainous-homosexual]

My Pleasure

Danny was never fond of Chick fil A. He always heard about their rampant homophobia and conservative Christian politics. Danny considered himself liberal on most issues and his parents were atheists which means he wasn't circumcised. But today he was feeling extra hungry and decided to give it a shot.

He pulled up to the drive-thru and opened his car window. But before he could start ordering, a strong masculine voice began speaking.

"You are late for work, boy"

Danny was shocked by this. It was an unusual thing to say to a customer.

"You must be mistaken. I'm a custo..."

The masculine voice spoke again.

"SILENCE, BOY"

"Pull up to the employee parking and park your car. Then walk into the building."

Before Danny could protest he found himself mindlessly obeying the command.

"My pleasure, sir" he said in a dull tone of voice

Danny began panicking as he walk into the building. His body was acting against his will. But his mind was still conscious.

The second Danny walked through the door he was greeted by a stern muscular man in a grey polo shirt. His nametag had "General Manager" written on it.

"You are out of uniform" the man said

"Follow me into my office and I will suit you"

"My pleasure, sir" Danny said mindlessly

Danny's boss walk him into the manager's office and locked the door behind him. He then proceeded to undress Danny.

Danny stood there unable to move as his boss pulled off his civilian clothes and dressed him in proper a Chick fil A employee uniform. Danny's muscles began to grow and spasm as each article of clothing was placed on his body.

His chest muscles ballooned up and his abs became much more pronounced. As his boss dressed him he also felt his memories of civilian life slipping away. All those years of voting democrat and liberal beliefs were gone. Replaced by a new conservative Christian worldview.

His boss looked pleased now.

"That's my good boy. You look very dapper now."

He grabbed a nametag from his desk and clipped it onto Samuel's red polo uniform. The nametag read "Samuel- Assistant Manager"

"I'm glad I decided to add you to our growing family" Samuel's boss said

"I'm feeling rather hungry, sir" Samuel said

Samuel's boss handed him a white cup

"This is our signature peach milkshake. Our secret ingredient is what makes it so addictive." He said with a wink

"I don't understand, sir. What is the secret ingredient?"

Samuel's boss unzipped his pants to reveal a thick girthy circumcised penis. He then unzipped Samuel's pants to reveal a similar thick circumcised penis.

"We make the secret ingredient in our ballsacks. The reason we are closed on Sunday is so we can harvest the secret ingredient."

"So we worship the LORD by masturbating?" Asked Samuel

"Yes, my son. Jesus Christ himself blessed our cum. Now it is our duty as devout Christians to spread his blessing through our food."

Samuel felt a thrill run through his penis. He couldn't wait to start spreading the blessings of his LORD Jesus Christ.

The next day he was assigned to work the cash register. "Your pleasure is my pleasure"

[corpsekittin]

Something in the Water Part 2

Part 2 of Something in the Water

There's been an unexplained epidemic sweeping across the United States all stemming from few months ago. It seemed like in a single day all of Los Angeles was.... changed somehow. They'd all become homophobic, straight, conservative Christians. Nobody could figure out what or who was the cause.  Now, months later a little over half of the United States have been affected. The United States has been completely isolated from the rest of the world due to what's going on in the nation. It's gotten so bad that even the United Kingdom and Canada have shut their borders to all travel from the United States. As far as anywhere is aware the United States is the only country that has been affected by the changes occurring. _________________ Darien left the house after kissing his boyfriend Riley goodbye. He wanted to stay behind to take care of his boyfriend as he had started to feel a bit unwell shortly before Darien had to leave for work but Riley told him to just go and that he will be just fine. He showed up to work his job as an intern for the local water plant and noticed things were a little off. He was let in by a stud of a man with a thick southern accent named Tanner. He thought it odd because it'd always been a skinny little guy named Tommy who'd always let him in. He decided to just ignore it and continue off to work. The whole shift started to be weird to him so many southerners were working today. He figured there must have just been a bunch of new hires and he kept working as usual. After all, he has only been an intern for a couple months now. Who's to say the previous people working those jobs didn't just leave and needed replacing? A few hours into the job he decided to take a break. He brewed himself a cup of coffee using  the "Farmer Joe's Instant coffee" and water from the break room. He walked out to a private area and pulled his cell out and decided to call his boyfriend. As it rang he took a large sip of his coffee. "Hello, Riley." he spoke into the phone. He loved that man so much, they had met when they were freshmen in college. It was love at first sight for him, well for Riley it took him a few days but eventually he fell for him. "Riley? Have ya hit yer head or somethin'?" a man with a thick southern accent on the other side line said "The name's Ryan, how in sam hell did ya' forget that? Is your ass drunk again? Ya better not be plannin' to hog all that beer." Darien felt his body start to freeze as he hung up the phone in a daze. He couldn't believe it. He looked at his phone and saw it does say Ryan. He could of sworn he called his boyfriend Riley... Wait, boyfriend? but isn't he single? He felt his body start to get a little hot and the urge to pee so he went to the bathroom. He kept drinking his coffee as he was headed to the bathroom. His body only got hotter and it felt like his shirt was becoming tighter as he was walking. Unknown to him his body had begun changing and started to inflate with muscle and height. He set his coffee down on the counter as went over to a urinal to take a piss. Dartiy's previously mid length blonde hair receded to become short and brown. His body started to strain on him so he took it off. His mind began to flood with conflicting memories. Suddenly he started to remember being raised surrounded by country boy's despite not living in the country, going to church every Sunday even though he had been an atheist and Durty even remembered his first girlfriend, Kimberly.  That thought shocked him and had him confused because isn't he gay? Wasn't the first person he dated a boy named Kayden? The shirt in his hand had turned into a camo hat as he was thinking that. He felt an irresistible compulsion to put the hat on his head and when he did the world around him seemed to spin and shook his head and suddenly he was somewhere else entirely. He started calling himself an idiot cuz really? Him, Dusty Adams, being a fag? "A fag could never look this good" he thought as he looked at himself in the the mirror and started to flex in all his shirtless glory. He grabbed the beer he had set on the sink counter and chugged the last of it before letting out a loud belch and walking out of his bathroom. He called his neighbor Ryan up and told him his plans and to get ready. He went to his garage and grabbed a case of beers, texted some hoes where to show up and headed off Ryan's to share some beer and get them some pussy. Farmer Joe's plans are working. Now it's not just the water he is affecting and soon, all of the United States shall be changed for the better.

[politijohn]

Source

Source

[animentality]

weirdly... wholesome.

[chroniclesofajewishteen]

Just because your church was a cult it doesn’t mean my synagogue is one

[audreyrose7]

I think about this all the time.

[chanaleah]

It's interesting to me that growing up Jewish seems to have given me a fundamentally different understanding of religion from my Christian friends. For me, I think that your religion (or ethnicity, since Judaism is an ethnicity) is not something you can get rid of. You can convert to another religion, but I never understood friends of mine who said that they weren't Christian, but Atheist.

"But you celebrate Christmas, right?" I asked them.

"Well, yeah," they said, "but we don't celebrate Christian Christmas. I'm atheist."

That didn't make any sense to me. Sure, maybe the version of Christmas they celebrated in their house looked more like treats and presents and less like nativity scenes and prayers, but it was still the same holiday.

So, I came up with the concept of the difference between "Not Christian" and "non-Christian". Which of course my "not christian" friends didn't understand. But my idea was that there are people who are "not christian" - mainly culturally christian atheists - and people who are "non-christian", like Jews, Hindus, Muslims, or others.

Because while both groups generally don't identify as Christian, we have different experiences. As a Jew, my experience as a religious minority is not the same as that of a culturally Christian atheist. They're not Christian, and I'm not Christian, but in different ways.

note (11/27/23)— I don’t entirely stand by the contents of this post anymore, specifically the part where I said that religion isn’t something you can get rid of. I have changed my mind and as of now do believe that atheism fully separate from Christianity is something that can be achieved, and while I’m not apologizing to many of those in my notes who despite their avowed atheism have continued to uphold Christian hegemony— I do apologize to atheists who have taken steps to distance themselves from Christianity and be careful not to uphold Christian hegemony.

[sinful-skeptic]

Another fine case of “practice what you preach.” It’s not the woman’s fault that you lack self control.

[rabbits-of-negative-euphoria]

you open yourself up to the devil by celebrating Halloween in the same way you open yourself up to the devil by celebrating St. Paddy's or Mardi Gras.

if you play ouija or try voodoo, you open yourself up to the devil. if you dress in a slutty costume or take psychedelics in a cemetery, you open yourself up to the devil.

likewise, if you get wasted on Guinness in downtown Savannah, you open yourself up to the devil.

if you twerk half-naked for plastic beads on Bourbon Street, you open yourself up to the devil.

these kinds of bacchanalia are by no means inherent to the holidays in question, and in fact, are extremely recent perversions of traditions which go back centuries. Centuries of Christian history.

[jessicalprice]

culture isn’t modular

I did a thread (actually several) on Twitter a few years ago about Christianity’s attempts to paint itself as modular, and I’ve been seeing them referenced here in the cultural christianity Discourse, and a few people have DMed me asking me to post it here, so here’s a rehash of several of those threads:

A big part of why Christian atheists have trouble seeing how culturally Christian they still are is that Christianity advertises itself as being modular, which is not how belief systems have worked for most of human history. 

A selling point of Christianity has always been the idea that it's plug-and-play: you don't have to stop being Irish or Korean or Nigerian to be Christian, you don't have to learn a new language, you keep your culture. 

And you’re just also Christian.

(You can see, then, why so many Christian atheists struggle with the idea that they’re still Christian--to them, Christianity is this modular belief in God and Jesus and a few other tenets, and everything else is... everything else. Which is, not to get ahead of myself, very compatible with some tacit white supremacy: the “everything else” is goes unexamined for its cultural specificity. It’s just Normal. Default. Neutral.)

Evangelicals in particular love to contrast this to Islam, to the idea that you have to learn Arabic and adopt elements of Arab culture to be Muslim, which helps fuel the image of Islam as a Foreign Ideology that's taking over the West.

The rest of us don’t have that particular jack

Meanwhile, Christians position Christianity as a modular component of your life. Keep your culture, your traditions, your language and just swap out your Other Religion Module for a Christianity Module.

The end game is, in theory, a rainbow of diverse people and cultures that are all one big happy family in Christ. We're going to come back to how Christianity isn't actually modular, but for the moment, let's talk about it as if it had succeeded in that design goal. 

Even if Christianity were successfully modular, if it were something that you could just plug in to the Belief System Receptor in a culture and leave the rest of it undisturbed, the problem is most cultures don't have a modular Belief System Receptor. Spirituality has, for the entirety of human history, not been something that's modular. It's deeply interwoven with the rest of culture and society. You can't just pull it out and plug something else in and have the culture remain stable.

(And to be clear, even using the term “spirituality” here is a sop to Christianity. What cultures have are worldviews that deal with humanity’s place in the universe/reality; people’s relationships to other people; the idea of individual, societal, or human purpose; how the culture defines membership; etc. These may or may not deal with the supernatural or “spiritual.”)

And so OF COURSE attempting to pull out a culture's indigenous belief system and replace it with Christianity has almost always had destructive effects on that culture.

Not only is Christianity not representative of "religion" full stop, it's actually arguably *anomalous* in its attempt to be modular (and thus universal to all cultures) rather than inextricable from culture.

Now, of course, it hasn't actually succeeded in that--the US is a thoroughly Christian culture--but it does lead to the idea that one can somehow parse out which pieces of culture are "religious" versus which are "secular". That framing is antithetical to most cultures. E.g. you can't separate the development of a lot of cultural practices around what people eat and how they get it from elements of their worldview that Christians would probably label "religious." But that entire *framing* of religious vs. secular is a Christian one.

Is Passover a religious holiday or a secular one? The answer isn't one or the other, or neither, or both. It's that the framing of this question is wrong.

And Christianity isn’t a plugin, however much it wants to be

Moreover, Christianity isn't actually culture-neutral or modular. 

It's easy for this to get obscured by seeing Christianity as a tool of particular cultures' colonialism (e.g. the British using Christianity to spread British culture) or of whiteness in general, and not seeing how Christianity itself is colonial. This helps protect the idea that “true” Christianity is good and innocent, and if priests or missionaries are converting people at swordpoint or claiming land for European powers or destroying indigenous cultures, that must be a misuse of Christianity, a “fake” or “corrupted” Christianity.

Never mind that for every other culture, that culture is what its members do. Christianity, uniquely, must be judged on what it says its ideals are, not what it actually is. 

Mistaking the engine for the exhaust

But it’s not just an otherwise innocent tool of colonialism: it’s a driver of it. 

At the end of the day, it’s really hard to construct a version of the Great Commission that isn’t inherently colonial. The end-goal of a world in which everyone is Christian is a world without non-Christian cultures. (As is the end goal of a world in which everyone is atheist by Christian definitions.)

Yet we focus on the way Christianity came with British or Spanish culture when they colonized a place--the churches are here because the Spaniards who conquered this area were Catholic--and miss how Christianity actually has its own cultural tropes that it brings with it. It's more subtle, of course, when Christianity didn't come in explicitly as the result of military conquest.

Or put another way, those cultures didn't just shape the Christianity they brought to places they colonized--they were shaped by it. How much of the commonality between European cultures is because of Christianity?

It’s not all a competition

A lot of Christians (cultural and practicing), if you push them, will eventually paint you a picture of a very Hobbesian world in which all religions, red in tooth and claw, are trying to take over the world. It's the "natural order" to attempt to eliminate all cultures but your own. 

If you point out to them that belief and worldview are deeply personal, and proselytizing is objectifying, because you're basically telling the person you're proselytizing to that who they are is wrong, you often get some version of "that's how everyone is, though."

Like we all go through life seeing other humans as incomplete and fundamentally flawed and the only way to "fix" them is to get them to believe what we believe. And, like, that is not how everyone relates to others?

But it's definitely how both practicing Christians and Christian antitheists relate to others. If, for Christians, your lack of Jesus is a fundamental flaw in you that needs to be fixed, for New Atheists, your “religion” (that is, your non-Christian culture) is a fundamental flaw in you that needs to be fixed. Neither Christians nor New Atheists are able to relate to anyone else as fine as they are. It's all a Hobbesian zero-sum game. It's all a game of conversion with only win and loss conditions. You are, essentially, only an NPC worth points.

The idea of being any other way is not only wrong, but impossible to them. If you claim to exist in any other way, you are either deluded or lying.

So, we get Christian atheists claiming that if you identify as Jewish, you can’t really be an atheist. Or sometimes they’ll make an exception for someone who’s “only ethnically Jewish.” If the only way you relate to your Jewishness is as ancestry, then you can be an atheist. Otherwise, you’re lying. 

Or, if you’re not lying, you’re deluded. You just don’t understand that there’s no need for you to keep any dietary practices or continue to engage in any form of ritual or celebrate any of those “religious” Jewish holidays, and by golly, this here “ex”-Christian atheist is here to separate out for you which parts of your culture are “religious” and which ones are “secular.”

Religious/secular is a Christian distinction

A lot of atheists from Christian backgrounds (whether or not they were raised explicitly Christian) have trouble seeing how Christian they are because they've accepted the Christian idea that “religion” is modular. (If we define “religion” the way Christians (whether practicing or cultural) define it, Christianity might be the only religion that actually exists. Maybe Islam?)

When people from non-Christian cultures talk about the hegemonically Christian and white supremacist nature of a lot of atheism, it reflects how outside of Christianity, spirituality/worldview isn't something you can just pull out of a culture.

Christian atheists tend to see the cultural practices of non-Christians as "religious" and think that they should give them up (talk to Jewish atheists who keep kosher about Christian atheist reactions to that). But because Christianity positions itself as modular, people from Christian backgrounds tend not to see how Christian the culture they imagine as "neutral" or "normal" actually is. In their minds, you just pull out the Christianity module and are left with a neutral, secular society.

So, if people from non-Christian backgrounds would just give up their superstitions, they'd look the same as Christian atheists. 

Your secularism is specifically post-Christian

Of course, that culture with the Christianity module pulled out ISN'T neutral. So the idea that that's what "secular society" should look like ends up following the same pattern as Christian colonialism throughout history: the promise that you can keep your culture and just plug in a different belief system (or, purportedly, a lack of a belief system), which has always, always been a lie. The secular, "enlightened" life that most Christian atheists envision is one that's still built on white, western Christianity, and the idea that people should conform to it is still attempting to homogenize society to a white Christian ideal. 

For people from cultures that don't see spirituality as modular, this is pretty obvious. It's obvious to a lot of people from non-white Christian cultures that have syncretized Christianity in a way that doesn't truck with the modularity illusion. 

I also think, even though they're not conceptualizing it in these terms, that it's actually obvious to a lot of evangelicals. (The difference being that white evangelical Christianity enthusiastically embraces white supremacy, so they see the destruction of non-Christian culture as good.) But I think it's invisible to a lot of mainline non-evangelical Christians, and it's definitely invisible to a lot of people who leave Christianity.

And that inability to see culture outside a Christian framing means that American secularism is still shaped like Christianity. It's basically the same text with a few sentences deleted and some terms replaced.

Which, again, is by design. The idea that you can deconvert to (Christian) atheism and not have to change much besides your opinions about God is the mirror of how easy it’s supposed to be to convert to Christianity.

Human societies don’t follow evolutionary biology

The Victorian Christian framing underlying current Western ideas of enlightened secularism, that religious practice (and human culture in general) is subject to the same sort of unilateral, simple evolution toward a superior state to which they, at the time, largely reduced biological evolution, is deeply white supremacist.

It posits religious evolution as a constantly self-refining process from "primitive" animism and polytheism to monotheism to white European/American Christianity. For Christians, that's the height of human culture. For ex-Christians, the next step is Christian-derived secularism.

Maybe you’ve seen this comic?

The thing is, animism isn’t more “primitive” than polytheism, and polytheism isn’t more “primitive” than monotheism. Older doesn’t mean less advanced/sophisticated/complex. Hinduism isn’t more “primitive” than Judaism just because it’s polytheistic and Judaism is monotheistic. 

Human cultures continue to change and adapt. (Arguably, older religions are more sophisticated than newer ones because they’ve had a lot more time to refine their practices and ideologies instead of having to define them.) Also, not all cultures are part of the same family tree. Christianity and Islam may be derived from Judaism, but Judaism and Hinduism have no real relationship to one another. 

But in this worldview, Christianity is "normal" religion, which is still more primitive than enlightened secularism, but more advanced than all those other primitive, superstitious, irrational beliefs.

Just like Christians, when Christian atheists do try to make room for cultures that aren't white and European-derived, the tacit demand is "okay, but you have to separate out the parts of your culture that the Christian sacred-secular divide would deem 'religious.'"

Either way, people from non-Christian cultures, if they’re to be equals, are supposed to get with the program and assimilate.

You’re not qualified to be a universal arbiter of what culture is good

Christian atheists usually want everyone to unplug that Religion module!

So, for example, you have ex-Christian atheists who are down with pluralism trying to get ex-Christian atheists who aren't to leave Jews alone by pointing out that you can be atheist and Jewish.

But some of us aren’t atheist. (I’m agnostic by Christian standards.) And the idea that Jews shouldn’t be targets for harassment because they can be atheists and therefore possibly have some common sense is still demanding that people from other cultures conform to one culture’s standard of what being “rational” is.  

Which, like, is kind of galling when y’all don’t even understand what “belief in G-d” means to Jews, and people from a culture that took until the 1800s to figure out that washing their hands was good are setting themselves up as the Universal Arbiters of Rationality.

(BTW, most of this also holds true for non-white Christianity, too. I guarantee you most white Christian atheists don’t have a good sense of what role church plays in the lives of Black communities, so maybe shut up about it.)

In any case, reducing Christianity--a massive, ambient phenomenon inextricable from Western culture--to the specific manifestation of Christian practice that you grew up with is, frankly, absurd. 

And you can’t be any help in deconstructing hegemony when you refuse to perceive it and understand that it isn’t something you can take off like a garment, and you probably won’t ever recognize and uproot all the ways in which it affects you, especially when you are continuing to live within it. 

What hegemony doesn’t want you to know

One of the ways hegemony sustains and perpetuates itself is by reinforcing the idea not so much that other ways of being and knowing are evil (although that’s usually a stage in an ideology becoming hegemonic), but that they’re impossible. That they don’t actually exist. 

See, again, the idea that anyone claiming to live differently is either lying or deluded.

There are few clearer examples of how pervasive Christian hegemony is than Christian atheists being certain every religion works like Christianity. Hegemonic Christianity wants you to think that all cultures work like Christianity because it wants their belief systems to be modular so you can just ...swap them. And it wants to pretend that culture/worldview is a free market where it can just outcompete other cultures.

But that’s... not how anything works. 

And the truth of the matter is that white nationalist Christians shoot at synagogues and Sikh temples and mosques because those other ways of being can’t be allowed to exist. 

They don’t shoot at atheist conventions because there’s room in hegemonic Christianity for Christian atheists precisely because Christian atheists are still culturally Christian. Their atheism is Christian-shaped.

They may not like you. They’re definitely going to try to convert you. They may not want you to be able to hold public office or teach their kids.

But the only challenge you’re providing is that of The Existence of Disbelief. And that’s fine. That makes you a really safe Other to have around. You can See The Light and not have to change much.

What you’re not doing is providing an example of a whole other way of being and knowing that (often) predates Christianity and is completely separate from it and has managed to survive it and continue to live and thrive (there’s a reason Christians like to speak of Jews and Judaism in the past tense, and it’s similar to the reason white people like to speak of indigenous peoples of the Americas in the past tense). 

That’s not a criticism--it’s fine to just... be post-Christian. There’s not actually anything wrong with being culturally Christian. The problems come in when you start denying that it’s a thing, or insisting that you, unique among humankind, are above Having A Culture.

But it does mean that you don’t pose the same sort of threat to Christianity that other cultures do, and hence, less violence. 

[villainous-homosexual]

This former atheist nerd allowed Jesus Christ into his heart and the LORD fixed him(brainwashed him). Now he is a GOD fearing and patriotic nerd who attends Mass every Sunday.

Perhaps if he continues to be a good and obedient Christian boy, Jesus Christ will give him a husband.💪✝️🇺🇸

[corpsekittin]

A Curative Spell

Hey y’all~! I know it’s been a hot minute since I last wrote a story and I appreciate all those who have followed me, still do follow me and Like/Reblog the stories I have written. I hope that I can get into writing a bit more actively now though. Hope enjoy what I’ve written here~!

———————————————

Aster Shawcross is a 29 year old gay man has always had a huge kink for gay to straight stories where gay men are against their wills transformed into hot, attractive and homophobic straight men. He never thought that he himself would have to live through such a transformation himself. The stories were supposed to be just fiction - not actually possible.

It all started when his best friend, Connor, got him drunk at the local bar one night after Connor had been dumped by his boyfriend. They'd spent most of the evening getting sloshed and complaining about there being no good gay men.

"I know exactly what I want," Connor said as he downed another shot of tequila. "You know how much you love those gay to straight stories?"

Aster nodded. "Yeah."

Connor smiled. "Well, tonight I'm going to make those stories come true."

Aster looked up in confusion. "What do you mean? What are you talking about?"

"I was given this spell here by the local pastor” Connor said holding up a slip of paper with text on it “he said it’ll cure me if I recite it”.

"Cure you?" Aster asked skeptically.

"Yes, it'll cure me from being gay. It’ll be just like those stories you read all the time! You're my best friend and I trust you, so why don't we try it together? Maybe then we won’t be forever single and actually be happy."

Aster stared at his friend for a moment before nodding. "Okay. It’s not going to work, it’s surely a scam to get you to become a member of his Church but fine, I’ll go along with it."

"Great! Now let's get out of here and go home."

The two friends left the bar and headed back to Aster's apartment. When they arrived, Connor and he began reciting the words on the piece of paper.

"Oh my god!" Aster cried out in shock a few moments after the spell had been recited by them. His body felt like it was on fire. His skin prickled and burned. Connor feeling the same as well.

“Gnh!” Connor asked grunted at the pain rushing through his body.

Aster tried to speak but could only manage to cough. He grabbed his head and fell to the floor.

"A-Are you al-alright?" Connor, who was holding onto the wall slowly sliding down it, said with pain evident in his voice

"I-I think so..." Aster managed to say.

He got to his feet slowly and stumbled over to the couch. He collapsed onto it and lay there panting heavily. He looked up at Connor who was on his knees looking at him with concern.

"He didn’t say it would hurt!” Connor said, regretting his decision. If he knew it hurt this much he’d have never done it. It felt like his body was burning and his head was splitting.

"My...my chest," Aster gasped. "It feels weird."

Connor looked down at his own chest. He too noticed that it felt different. It felt bigger, harder and more muscular than usual.

"Our bodies are growing," Connor said.

Aster looked down at himself and saw that Connor was right. His pants were loose around his waist and his shirt was tight across his shoulders.

"How long does this last?" Aster asked weakly.

"I don't know," Connor said crawling to the couch where Aster was "He didn’t tell me”

They both laid on the couch trying to catch their breath. Their bodies continued to grow and change. Their minds were also undergoing a change as well. Both of them now found themselves thinking about women in a way they never had before. Their views on religion were also changing.

"I used to be an atheist, but now I feel like I should convert to Christianity or something," Connor said.

"Me too," Aster agreed “my mind is screaming that at me for some reason”

Their clothes began to change alongside them. They were both wearing jeans and tshirts when they went to the bar, but now they were both wearing dress shirts, ties and slacks as if they were missionaries for the church.

Both men stood up and looked at each other. Connor was now 6'3" tall and Aster was now 6”0. They’d gained a lot of muscle compared to what that they had previously had but were not super fit. Their hair was now short and brown, whereas Aster had been a blonde and Connor had had dyed his hair blood red. They also looked much younger than they were. Before they were 29 year old but now they looked no older than 21. To boot, their clothes didn’t just RESEMBLE that of a missionary - their clothes WERE that of a missionary. Something seemed off though, because neither of their name tags showed their names. It was someone else’s.

"Hey," Connor said. "Look at this."

Aster looked down at his name tag. "Whoa! My name is not on this."

"Mine either," Connor said.

Adtem looked at the name tag he wore which Said Adam Smith and then looked up at Josner’s name tag which said Joseph Johnson. "This is weird. Why aren't our names on these?"

"I don't kn-," Josener said before grabbing his head

Josener and Adem both grabbed their heads as they felt a ripping through their heads and their mental changes proceeded further. Their memories changed to that of having been raised in a church, having become friends young after meeting in said Church and when of age becoming missionaries. They also had memories of having had girlfriends before but nothing serious and of shunning those who live life as homosexuals. The house had also changed to fit their new lives. The house was incredibly clean, had pictures of Joseph at different ages, him in the church with the other boys, him with a whole new and highly religious family and some of him with his best friend, Adam.

“What were we just talking about?” Asked Adam.

“I don’t remember,” Replied Joseph.

Adam Smith and Joseph Johnson were two of the newest missionaries to the Church. They went to bed, not knowing anything had even happened to them or that they’d been someone else entirely.

Adam decide to stay the night at his friend’s place so that when they wake up ready to spread the word of God and help save people, especially homosexuals, from their sinful ways.

“I hope we find a lot of people to convert to the Lord today,” Adam said.

“I pray that we do,” replied Joseph.

Joseph and Adam happily walked down the street in the southern town they lived in to find those who need guided to salvation.

[politijohn]

Source

This should never have been a thing

[oceanicmarxist]

1929 cover of Bezbozhnik u Stanka, the magazine of the League of Militant Atheists in the U.S.S.R. Cover depicts industrial workers tipping Jesus into a garbage disposal while another smashes a church bell with a big hammer.

[jesusinstilettos]

“Oh I’m just not the creative ty-“

Wrong, all humans are inherently creative in some way when their needs are met and they are given the leisure time to pursue hobbies. It came free with your being a social species wired by evolution to love doing stuff with your hands. Don’t define art through a consumerist lens where it’s only worth existing if it’s something someone would buy. Connect with your inner monkey, create to create and let it just be.