#therapy is torture to me

[neptunediary]

Spent most of the week at home recovering from a throat efection. So it felt great to go out today. I had lunch with my brother at his favourite sushi place. Then I went to take a walk by the river by myself. But my day couldn't end without a random creepy old man trying to interact with me.

Also, I'm starting therapy again next week, and I've already cried my eyes out just from the thought of it 🥲

[nipuni]

The Hardys 🥰 some more Broadchurch sketches

[calciumcryptid]

Kinn would use pet names because he is the type of dork who would find them genuinely romantic.

Kim would use pet names because he thinks it gets him a good grade in boyfriend, a normal and possible thing to want to achieve.

Vegas would use pet names because he is trying to exert ownership in the ways deemed socially acceptable, but he has to be pretentious about it.

[amereslare]

I'm unwell. Send help.

[merriclo]

BSD characters as things me and my friends have said part two <3

> part 1 <

[houseswife]

find it sooo funny that foreman is cuddy now and chase is house because although cuddy was an enabler she at least had some semblance of what you’re meant to do as a doctor. so she could hold up the facade a tiny bit. chase is gonna walk in like “I need approval to amputate this guy’s perfectly working legs and then re-attach them using dental floss. without anaesthesia btw. and we’re gonna hypnotise his medical proxy to get consent. we think he has a mild mint allergy and I need the answer” and foreman isn’t even gonna look up from his paperwork before responding “k lol”

[ruvviks]

PLEASE DO NOT TAG AS YOUR OWN OC OR PAIRING.

Nathan and Ruben share a bond more powerful than most; mutual understanding through past experiences no one should ever have to go through, and through past actions so horrible they cannot be spoken of. Their grief and the blood on their hands binds them to the STEM technology they created, which has alienated them from the rest of the world— but they give each other the comfort they have both longed for so desperately for years, and that is all they need. They are each other's counterpart; you cannot imagine one without the other, like two sides of the same coin. Through their pain, their grief, their desire, and their regret, they have become one.

anna akhmatova, the guest // bones; equinox // 'i won't become' by kim jakobsson // agustín gómez-arcos, the carnivorous lamb // by oxy // achilles come down; gang of youths // czeslaw milosz, from 'new and collected poems: 1931-2001' // 'extended ambience portrait from a resonant biostructure' and 'migraine tenfold times ten' by daniel vega // a little death; the neighbourhood // marina tsvetaeva, from 'poem of the end' // by drummnist // katie maria, winter // 'nocturne in black and gold the falling rocket' by james abbott mcneill whistler // micah nemerever, these violent delights // body language; we are fury // 'the penitent' by emil melmoth // chelsea dingman, from 'of those who can't afford to be gentle'

taglist (opt in/out)

@shellibisshe, @florbelles, @ncytiri, @hibernationsuit, @stars-of-the-heart;

@lestatlioncunt, @katsigian, @radioactiveshitstorm, @estevnys, @adelaidedrubman;

@celticwoman, @rindemption, @carlosoliveiraa, @noirapocalypto, @dickytwister;

@killerspinal, @euryalex, @ri-a-rose, @velocitic, @thedeadthree

[therantingsage]

uh oh. I was trying to sate my ISAT hyperfixation by just reading fics and looking at art and NOT coming up with a story to write myself and it was working because I had no ideas that felt compelling AND unique but I just came up with one. no. oh no plz not when I have other things to write I can't keep doing this no plz-

[bokettochild]

hey when legend randomly gets hit hard with feeling of depression what is his immediate reaction

just an innocent ask nothing more

and by depression I just mean the sudden like big sad of i can't even do this anymore please- I just want to sleep-

anyways yeah just an innocent cute lil ask

His immediate reaction is "crap not again" quickly followed by stuffing it down and telling himself "I'll cry about that later" and then he just never does, because when later comes he is physically unable to cry. In general he can't actually cry. I speak as someone with the same affliction, it just doesn't happen even if he's not stopping himself.

I think Legend tends to muscle his way through whatever thing is overwhelming him until the end of the day, at which point he just curls up on his bedroll as tightly as possible to burrow away and just.... feel. He can't fix the things that trigger his depression, and while answers are usually there, they require burdening someone else, a big no-no, so he just stews until he falls asleep or just sits up overthinking until he's choking on sobs that won't come.

And come the next day he's just the same as any other day, because that's an issue for another day and when there's the security and safety to actually sort it out (AKA never)

[chaos-bringer-13]

@void-of-unparalled-chaos did you see me going through Epic the musical tag on your blog? It's because you infected me. I am no longer sane. Because of you posting about Epic I went and watched both streams recordings on youtube and am currently making my way through literally every video about Epic on Jay's channel. I am obsessed. I ranted to my parents for an hour and then started sending memes to my friend who barely has any context. I am vibrating through walls. There is something fundamentally changed in me now. I am losing my sense of humanity. Please if you ever want to infodump and have someone to share your freaking out - message or tag me. I need to know every single detail and I'm too bad at noticing the motifs and instruments myself. Someone save me

[mediapen]

do you think j if i made this my lockscreen and went to the doctor they would give me anti depressies no questions asked

[dykevanny]

every time people misinterpret the ar emails I go even more insane

[i3utterflyeffect]

also here's a loc!dark. they are comfy

[minhosimthings]

Um..

Sunghoon....

"Tch tch. Can't even suck properly like my good girl can you princess?"

The Adam's apple I need to suck them so bad MIZU WHY

[livwritesstuff]

couldn’t stop thinking about this, so here’s a followup :)

When Eddie does eventually get a tattoo for Steve, it’s on a whim.

Kind of on a whim.

He hadn’t forgotten about the idea by any means, but he had yet to come up with an idea that came even close to encapsulating the love Eddie had for Steve, so he waited.

Then, one day, around a year and a half after their initial conversation on the subject and when Steve and Eddie were enjoying a lazy morning arguing over the grocery list (Steve wants to try a new pasta salad recipe, the fancy bastard, and Eddie just wants him to make the same cheesy marinara pasta sauce he’s been fiending over for years), Steve gets called into the hospital.

His second-to-last clinical rotation for his psychology doctorate sent him to the psych floor of a nearby emergency room, which has meant, for the first time, Steve is on-call even when he’s not scheduled to be at the hospital.

Steve is miserable — the most miserable Eddie’s ever seen him when it comes to his psych program — and annoyed with the school for assigning it to him when there had apparently been others available that were closer to how he actually wants to use his doctorate when he finally earns it, but, like he tends to, he’s being a decent sport about it.

He’s on the phone with his C.I. affirming that he’ll be in as soon as he can when he picks up a pen, grabs Eddie’s wrist, and scribbles fresh mozzarella, penne, tomatoes, lemon juice on the underside of his forearm. Below that he writes love you, and below that he adds - S, followed by a heart, a sideways smiley face, and a star, like Eddie’s seen him do hundreds of times. It’s how he signs off every post-it note stuck to the fridge, every message swiped into the fogged-up bathroom mirror, every letter he folds up and mails to Robin or Nancy or both or some other member of the Party.

Eddie isn’t even totally sure Steve realizes he’s doing it, that maybe he just likes that first doodled heart so much he can’t help but keep going, but he loves it either way. It’s sweet and charming and cute and just so, so Steve that it almost hurts.

Steve presses a swift kiss onto Eddie’s lips before making a bee-line for the door, still on the phone with his C.I, and Eddie’s mind is moving so fast he can’t sit with it anymore, so he jumps to his feet, checks his wallet to see if he’s got cash (he does), and then he too is on his way out the door.

Thankfully, at eleven on a Tuesday morning, his tattoo artist is accepting walk-ins, and before his brain completely catches up to his beating heart, he’s got Steve’s words (minus the groceries, obviously) in his neat writing and his heart, smile, and star tattooed on his forearm and it’s fuckin’ perfect and Eddie couldn’t be happier.

Steve returns sooner than Eddie thought he would — before dinner, which is still late, but not as late as it usually is whenever he gets called into the hospital — and as he lets himself into their apartment, Eddie meets him at the door.

“Hey,��� Steve says with a tired smile, “Hungry?”

“Look!” Eddie ignores him, holding out his arm so Steve can see the tattoo through the protecting plastic wrap.

Steve looks down blankly at it for a moment or two before the corner of his mouth upticks just slightly.

“You...you did this today? From the-the stupid thing I wrote?”

“Yeah,” Eddie grins, “Isn’t it great. i’m so fuckin’ thrilled with it, man. It’s just — it’s you.”

“Yeah, it’s-” Steve shakes his head like he always does when he’s being bashful, “If you say so.”

He pulls Eddie into a tight hug, which Eddie immediately reciprocates, pressing his lips to Steve’s neck.

“I really love you,” Steve says.

“Love you too,” he replies, “in case that wasn’t clear.”

And Steve is pulling away, so Eddie catches the way he smiles as he shakes his head again. Steve’s eyes travel to the kitchen and then snap back to his own.

“Wait, so did you get the groceries?”

“Ah - fuck.”

part 3

[snarltoothed]

i genuinely hurt my mother’s feelings the other day by saying something i thought was just like a well-known fact about her personality and i feel a little bit guilty but she’s always been hyper-critical of the way i interact with other people and frequently tells me how i am bad and wrong and really difficult to enjoy talking to or being around so like… i’m not apologizing. if she feels guilty and bad about herself as a person because i casually mentioned how she’s not the most emotionally supportive person in the world… well so be it. i didn’t say anything untrue or even attach any moral value to being an emotionally supportive person or not. she attaches moral value to how appropriately i am able to engage in small talk… she’ll live