#theology jokes
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yeah we might be brothers in christ but so were cain and abel so shut the fuck up before i decide to find a rock about it
#postscript;#if you try to tell me cain and abel were not brothers in christ shut up pls#i've studied theology for nearly a decade. i know more than you.#christ's harrowing of hell exists to retroactively turn all of humanity even before his existence into ''brothers'' in christ#because it is not a literal term it is an evangelist term. bc christianity in all denominations is evangelistic in nature#not being a christian is 1. a moral incorrect choice according to them and#2. not actually possible. everyone is judged as a christian everyone is fundamentally supposed to be christian#calling someone a brother in christ is just calling them christian.#so ergo according to doctrine cain and abel are in fact brothers in christ#but#and this is far more important than any of that#i was not trying to be perfectly accurate to the theological timeline of the tanakh vs torah vs old testament vs new testament vs apocrypha#i was trying to make a silly one line joke on the internet#and all you do when you try to go Well Actually They Werent is make yourself look stupid and pedantic.#so for the love of god stop it with needing to be right online im so bored and tired
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Remember, kids, a sin is only a sin if the act is doing harm.
If you wanna cover your neighbor's wife, you gotta cover your neighbor too.
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The Devotion of Saint Kristen Applebees
"devoted to [her] mission, is faithful to the call of the gods on [her] life. [She] is willing to sacrifice [her] own interests to those greater interests (...). [She] binds [her] will and [her] heart to that task. This is what it means to be pious."
(bastardization of Alan Jacob, on the origins and early meaning of the term pius)
#no joke i spent hours researching eusebia and pietas and greek mythology for this#and comparing to catholic/ christian theology#as one does#totally normal behaviour#kristen applebees#dimension 20#d20 fantasy high#fantasy high junior year#d20 fanart#dropout#dimension 20 fantasy high#fantasy high fanart#fantasy high#d20 fhjy#ribbittrobbit#rounded out the trilogy my dudes
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I’m curious if other communists have like a religious relationship to their political beliefs for lack of a better word? That’s not a good word to use but I don’t know how else to describe it. I’m solidly atheist but all of the feelings and emotions religious people talk about, revelation and spiritual connection to community and so on are all things I experience pretty regularly and I interpret those feelings as fundamentally communist. the way I take in and absorb information in particular feels revelatory in a religious sense. I’m pretty sure this is fairly common with MLs but I’m curious about it in general
#disabling rbs because I don’t want this to leave my blog#I’m using religious in a deliberately loaded way because I lack the language for alternatives#I joke frequently with my friend that communism is the religion of science but like I do unironically believe that lol#also not claiming marxism is ‘just another religion’ I do not think that’s true or useful to think of it in those terms#but if you take political theology seriously the belief in a socialist state is like the modern version of a desire for religious authority#anyway sorry extremely complicated things that I’m not remotely expanding on enough#I’ve just been thinking about it a lot recently#it’s like a totalising force in my life and shapes the way I interpret and understand the world and my relationship to it#I remember reading marx for the first time and in a very real sense I ‘converted’ to being a communist#I need to read more Benjamin because he goes into like jewish mythology and stuff in his work#but like him talking about the divine violence of the state made it click for me and is partly responsible for me making this post
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young devout Catholics: A lot of laity don't really seem to know or understand a lot of core Church teachings, so it's important that we clearly teach and live it :) boomer hippie Catholics: Wow, so arrogant and unkind. Extremist millennials like you will be the death of the Church. young devout Catholics: ??????????
#no joke i see this a LOT#i Don't Get It^tm#i mean i do but....huh??#older priests/laity will make comments about how young conservative Catholics are “misguided” and “lack compassion for others”#and if you ask them its because we *checks notes*#want better doctrinal education in homilies and for clergy to be uncompromising/unambiguous in matters of grave morality#like fuck wow okay sorry i didnt realize asking Catholics to um *checks notes again* know and uphold their faith was so radical???#mea#like they'll see a young priest gently but unwaveringly tell his parish that you're not suppose to receive the Eucharist in a state of sin#and theyre like “wow SO unkind of him we're finding a different parish”#if you dont like having a morally consistent theology that might sometimes be a lil uncomfortable then honey you shouldnt be Catholic
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i think everyone should learn who madame blavatsky is because the majority of horrible racist conspiracy theories goes back to her and having that knowledge genuinely helps you recognize the more innocuous sounding bits and go oh! that's racist bullshit peddled by a fake snakeoil medium over a hundred years ago
#her theology in part led to nazis. not even joking you#and she's just so clearly full of shit when you actually study her.#helena blavatsky i fucking hate you
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Man in a bush burning bush tumbleweed or whatever appears to you but your gf said no talking with strange people
#god#theology#agnostic#SATIRE#the burning bush#please don’t burn me alive#this is a joke#moses#religion#the bible#literally#lol#funny#humor#evil#haha#shit post#original post#text post#freak#textpost#shitpost#goofin
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piergse i wana make an oc 4 obm but i have Zero ideas but i need a stinky mary sue.... uroughh
it’s ok the last person who said they had no ideas for obm ocs left the convo with four 💪💪
#ok it was over like#two convos#but still 🙄#My secret evil method is uhmmmm#stalking the angels in theology wiki page#the demons in theology page#and sometimes the Bible wiki page if I’m desperate#until ideas start ideaing#might not work for everyone works for me tho 💔#I only have uhmmmm#8 not including my joke Joseph Mary and Jesus characters 😨#do u guys still rock w trans lesbian Joseph#who am I even speaking to rn
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to the early medieval person would spontaneous generation equal immaculate conception. are maggots the second coming of christ. in this essay i will
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Me doing precal/chem: And so the End Times begin.
#i am aware this is horrible theology#let me have my bad joke please lol#christian tumblr#christian blog#christianity#jesus#christian#bible#faith#faith in jesus#bible scripture#keep the faith#jesus christ#christian faith
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i have observed that there are two divergent species of lotr fans: mentally unwell gay people and Goddamn Fucking Catholics.
#its always kinda a shock when im looking at lotr shit on tumblr#and i see catholicposting in between jokes about legolas and gimli sucking each other off or whatever#you do you i guess but im into LOTR for narrative reasons rather than theology related ones (even before i left christianity lmaooo)#lotr tag
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Sigh starts writing a story with demon characters and hell as a setting with worldbuilding based on demonology
#not to drag on others stories btw if it comes off that way#I like demonology and theology in general and kinda just recently thought about making a story cuz of common demon story things that kinda#dont make sense to me#Ie. lucifer's last name is morningstar because lucifer means morningstar#The sin of lust is about sex and sex alone#The sin of gluttony is about eating too much haha insert fat joke#Like???? Idk hell and demonology is so much more interesting and has way more story potential than this and as they say#Be the change you want to see in the world#Yes this is sorta because h*lluva boss and h*zbin hotel is rising in popularity recently#yes i will admit i dont like either of these series#But yeag#Been thinking#Will make designs eventually#Sorry to the three lucius fans i have not touched his story in a while again because sci-fi worldbuilding makes me want to blow up#My demons want me to make demons#.txt
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Two types of people are needed to run a temple: a learned person and a very stupid one. And this is how all temples are run—two types of people: the learned who have become the priests, and the stupid who follow them. This is how every temple is run. If stupid people disappear from the earth there will be no temples. If learned people disappear from the temples there will be no temples. A duality is needed for a temple to exist. That’s why you cannot find God in a temple—because you cannot find him in a duality. These temples are inventions of the clever people to exploit the stupid. All temples are inventions—clever people exploiting… they have become the priests.
Priests are the most clever people, they are the greatest exploiters, and they exploit in such a way that you cannot even revolt against them. They exploit you for your own sake, they exploit you for your own good. Priests are the most clever because they spin theories out of nothing: all the theologies, all that they have created—tremendous! Cleverness is needed to create religious theories. And they go on creating such big edifices that it is almost impossible for an ordinary man to enter those edifices. And they use such jargon, they use such technical terms, that you cannot understand what they are talking about. And when you cannot understand you think they are very profound. Whenever you cannot understand a thing you think it is very profound—‘It is beyond me.’
Remember this: Buddha speaks in a very ordinary language which can be understood by anybody. It is not the language of a priest. Jesus speaks in small parables—any uneducated man can understand it—he never uses any religious jargon. Mahavira talks, gives his teachings, in the language of the most ordinary and common people. Mahavira and Buddha never used Sanskrit, never, because Sanskrit was the language of the priest, the brahmin. Sanskrit is the most difficult language. Priests have made it so difficult—they have polished and polished and polished. The very word SANSKRIT means polishing, refining. They have refined it to such a pitch that only if you are very very learned can you understand what they are saying, otherwise it is beyond. Buddha used the language of the people, Pali. Pali was the language of the people, of the villagers. Mahavira used Prakrit. Prakrit is the unrefined form of Sanskrit; Prakrit is the natural form of Sanskrit—no grammar, not much. The scholar has not entered yet, he has not refined the words so they become beyond common people. But the priests have been using Sanskrit, they still use it. Nobody understands Sanskrit now, but they go on using Sanskrit because their whole profession depends on creating a gap, not a bridge—in creating a gap. If the common people cannot understand, only then the priests can survive. If the common people understand what they are saying they are lost, because they are saying nothing.
Once Mulla Nasruddin went to a doctor—and doctors have learned the trick from the priests: they write in Latin and Greek, and they write in such a way that even if they have to read it again it is difficult. Nobody should understand what they are writing. So Mulla Nasruddin went to a doctor and he said, ‘Listen, be plain. Just tell me the facts. Don’t use Latin and Greek.’ The doctor said, ‘If you insist, and if you allow me to be frank, you are not ill at all. You are just plain lazy.’ Nasruddin said, ‘Okay, thank you. Now write it in Greek and Latin so I can show it to my family.’
The clever have always been exploiting the common people. That’s why Buddha, Jesus and Mahavira were never respected by brahmins, scholars, clever ones, because they were destructive, they were destroying their whole business. If the people understand, then there is no need for the priest. Why?—because the priest is a mediator. He understands the language of God. He understands your language. He translates your language into the language of God. That’s why they say Sanskrit is DEV-BHASHA, the language of God: ‘You don’t know Sanskrit?—I know, so I become the intermediate link, I become the interpreter. You tell me what you want and I will say it in Sanskrit to God, because he understands only Sanskrit.’ And of course you have to pay for it.
— Osho (No Water, No Moon)
#osho#priests#theology#temple#esoteric#jargon#stupid#exploitation#simple#ordinary#language#sanskrit#destruction#business#jokes#lbotca
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did you hear pedro is in trouble over illegal betting?
haven't you heard of Pascal's Wager?
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