#theology jokes

[victusinveritas]

[flagellant]

yeah we might be brothers in christ but so were cain and abel so shut the fuck up before i decide to find a rock about it

[gargoyle-zoo]

Remember, kids, a sin is only a sin if the act is doing harm.

If you wanna cover your neighbor's wife, you gotta cover your neighbor too.

[celesteisbest]

[ribbittrobbit]

The Devotion of Saint Kristen Applebees

"devoted to [her] mission, is faithful to the call of the gods on [her] life. [She] is willing to sacrifice [her] own interests to those greater interests (...). [She] binds [her] will and [her] heart to that task. This is what it means to be pious."

(bastardization of Alan Jacob, on the origins and early meaning of the term pius)

[and-her-saints]

"the virgin mary didn't feel labor pain when delivering jesus because she is free of original sin!!!!" if you don't have any meaningful and healthy relationships with the women in your life you can just say that <3

[chunkecheeks]

i think everyone should learn who madame blavatsky is because the majority of horrible racist conspiracy theories goes back to her and having that knowledge genuinely helps you recognize the more innocuous sounding bits and go oh! that's racist bullshit peddled by a fake snakeoil medium over a hundred years ago

[moomoocowmaid]

Man in a bush burning bush tumbleweed or whatever appears to you but your gf said no talking with strange people

[coffinkissez]

piergse i wana make an oc 4 obm but i have Zero ideas but i need a stinky mary sue.... uroughh

it’s ok the last person who said they had no ideas for obm ocs left the convo with four 💪💪

[iztyping]

to the early medieval person would spontaneous generation equal immaculate conception. are maggots the second coming of christ. in this essay i will

[idylls-of-the-divine-romance]

Me doing precal/chem: And so the End Times begin.

[defendglobe]

i have observed that there are two divergent species of lotr fans: mentally unwell gay people and Goddamn Fucking Catholics.

[meat-pvppet]

Sigh starts writing a story with demon characters and hell as a setting with worldbuilding based on demonology

[alittlebitoftruthcan]

Two types of people are needed to run a temple: a learned person and a very stupid one. And this is how all temples are run—two types of people: the learned who have become the priests, and the stupid who follow them. This is how every temple is run. If stupid people disappear from the earth there will be no temples. If learned people disappear from the temples there will be no temples. A duality is needed for a temple to exist. That’s why you cannot find God in a temple—because you cannot find him in a duality. These temples are inventions of the clever people to exploit the stupid. All temples are inventions—clever people exploiting… they have become the priests.

Priests are the most clever people, they are the greatest exploiters, and they exploit in such a way that you cannot even revolt against them. They exploit you for your own sake, they exploit you for your own good. Priests are the most clever because they spin theories out of nothing: all the theologies, all that they have created—tremendous! Cleverness is needed to create religious theories. And they go on creating such big edifices that it is almost impossible for an ordinary man to enter those edifices. And they use such jargon, they use such technical terms, that you cannot understand what they are talking about. And when you cannot understand you think they are very profound. Whenever you cannot understand a thing you think it is very profound—‘It is beyond me.’

Remember this: Buddha speaks in a very ordinary language which can be understood by anybody. It is not the language of a priest. Jesus speaks in small parables—any uneducated man can understand it—he never uses any religious jargon. Mahavira talks, gives his teachings, in the language of the most ordinary and common people. Mahavira and Buddha never used Sanskrit, never, because Sanskrit was the language of the priest, the brahmin. Sanskrit is the most difficult language. Priests have made it so difficult—they have polished and polished and polished. The very word SANSKRIT means polishing, refining. They have refined it to such a pitch that only if you are very very learned can you understand what they are saying, otherwise it is beyond. Buddha used the language of the people, Pali. Pali was the language of the people, of the villagers. Mahavira used Prakrit. Prakrit is the unrefined form of Sanskrit; Prakrit is the natural form of Sanskrit—no grammar, not much. The scholar has not entered yet, he has not refined the words so they become beyond common people. But the priests have been using Sanskrit, they still use it. Nobody understands Sanskrit now, but they go on using Sanskrit because their whole profession depends on creating a gap, not a bridge—in creating a gap. If the common people cannot understand, only then the priests can survive. If the common people understand what they are saying they are lost, because they are saying nothing.

Once Mulla Nasruddin went to a doctor—and doctors have learned the trick from the priests: they write in Latin and Greek, and they write in such a way that even if they have to read it again it is difficult. Nobody should understand what they are writing. So Mulla Nasruddin went to a doctor and he said, ‘Listen, be plain. Just tell me the facts. Don’t use Latin and Greek.’ The doctor said, ‘If you insist, and if you allow me to be frank, you are not ill at all. You are just plain lazy.’ Nasruddin said, ‘Okay, thank you. Now write it in Greek and Latin so I can show it to my family.’

The clever have always been exploiting the common people. That’s why Buddha, Jesus and Mahavira were never respected by brahmins, scholars, clever ones, because they were destructive, they were destroying their whole business. If the people understand, then there is no need for the priest. Why?—because the priest is a mediator. He understands the language of God. He understands your language. He translates your language into the language of God. That’s why they say Sanskrit is DEV-BHASHA, the language of God: ‘You don’t know Sanskrit?—I know, so I become the intermediate link, I become the interpreter. You tell me what you want and I will say it in Sanskrit to God, because he understands only Sanskrit.’ And of course you have to pay for it.

— Osho (No Water, No Moon)

[wawek]

Everyones so weirded out by me talking about jesus rn, i dont think ive kept my interest in religion this close to my chest this whole time have i? Maybe gnosticism and megachurches are a bit easier to tune out than me talking about the ressurection of jesus but its all the same to me... and the arctic is the same and construction work and utilitarian hedonism as well

[ethosnap]

Getting mad about mcyt ships is like losing chess to a dog