#so for the love of god stop it with needing to be right online im so bored and tired
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yeah we might be brothers in christ but so were cain and abel so shut the fuck up before i decide to find a rock about it
#postscript;#if you try to tell me cain and abel were not brothers in christ shut up pls#i've studied theology for nearly a decade. i know more than you.#christ's harrowing of hell exists to retroactively turn all of humanity even before his existence into ''brothers'' in christ#because it is not a literal term it is an evangelist term. bc christianity in all denominations is evangelistic in nature#not being a christian is 1. a moral incorrect choice according to them and#2. not actually possible. everyone is judged as a christian everyone is fundamentally supposed to be christian#calling someone a brother in christ is just calling them christian.#so ergo according to doctrine cain and abel are in fact brothers in christ#but#and this is far more important than any of that#i was not trying to be perfectly accurate to the theological timeline of the tanakh vs torah vs old testament vs new testament vs apocrypha#i was trying to make a silly one line joke on the internet#and all you do when you try to go Well Actually They Werent is make yourself look stupid and pedantic.#so for the love of god stop it with needing to be right online im so bored and tired
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I literally can't stop thinking about this sequence of pictures, actually completely brainrotting me
#ever since i watched aus 2009 i cant stop scrolling back up in my gallery to stare at these#like pics that genuinely make me roll around on my bed and squeal#GAHHHHHH LIKE THE WAY SEB IS GRINNING UP AT AND HESITANTLY PLACING HIS HAND ON HIS CHEST#AND THEN JENSON NOTICES AND MY GOD THE WAY HES LOOKING AT HIM I CANT I CANT#THE WAY THEYRE SMILING AT ESCH OTHER IM GONNA LOSE IT#AND LOOK HOW HARD JENSE IS GRIPPING HIM GODDDDDDDD#like i really cant express in words how these make me feel its actually just *tv static noises*#i feel like im grinning so hard looking at these that im gonna explode#(also @grace if you see these: ive been reading solar flare lately and GOD YOURE SO RIGHT WHEN YOU REFERENCED IT)#(theres this part where mark says to jb that hes been looking up podium/press pics of them online)#(and that they look like theyre in love HE IS LITERALLY ME FRRRRRR LIKE IM GOING INSANE OVER IT)#(these pics brainrotted me before i started reading it but reading it has only made it 100x worse/better)#anyways i really really like 2009 sebson they're so endearing to me 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#ig its just smth about how theyre so affectionate with each other despite being each others rivals#like constantly patting/nudging/hugging each other IM GONNA CRYYYYY IM GONNA EXPLODEEEE#i put these pics in the comp i made if seb but like bcs of the magnitude to which they affect me i needed to make a posr for them#just imagine me wailing and losing my mind irl and in these tags sob sob sob#if i stay committed w watching races ill just keep on going to the end of the v8 era so dw my wailing can only get worse :D#every time i scroll up out of the tags to look at the pics again i feel my heart skipping a bit HDJFKGKGKGL#anyways unhinged wdym unhinged :)#f1#formula 1#sebastian vettel#jenson button#jb22#sv5#sebson#2009 australian gp
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what if instead of messaging me in the middle of the night about your stupid fucking girlfriend and your stupid fucking problems with her you actually act like my fucking friend and message me like how you message everyone else in our group
#bye ignore my venting bigger problems what fucking ever#im sick of her ass she only messages us for us to help her with her fucking girlfriend problems like we arent even friends atthis fckn point#and i love her shes so funny whatever but god shes literally the worst because i just want to be friends i dont fucking care ab her goddamn#selfish ass gf thats shes obsessed with. be obsessed tell me about it but cant we be friends ab other stuff too#we used to be her 'favorite friend' cause we shared so many interests and we hung around what fucking ever but fuck that right#get a gf and just use us to help better yalls relationship without even telling her you're sharing her private msgs w us huh yeah sure#what fucking ever im so done with this bitch and i cant even get my contacts out cause i have long nails and im js poking my eye#AND SHE WOULD NEVER BE SORRY if our friendship fell apart she would tell everyone i was jealous of her gf or what ever i literally dont care#she was like an older sister before i dont get why getting a gf would have to change shit like ok good for u but what ab us#what about me its not even fucking fair like is it that hard to keep up w ur friends?? NO its fucking not#taking me so long to write a post bc im still fucking helping her with her stupid dumb selfish idiotic gf omfg#just BREAK UP i literally dont fucking care just leave her if she makes u unhappy its literally online tf is she gonna do to u nothing omfg#why am i the one being punished when shes the one with the stupid dumb gf that hates her and herself i dont fucking care i js want m friend#and i cant tell any of our mutual friends cause she dont do that to them its js me so itd be like im being dramatic#and like shit i guess i am but i dont care atp thats all she ever talks to me ab like ok i get it i helped u but stop jfc#but if i said that we'd never talk again bc what fucking ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! cause im just dramatic whatever#if u cant resolve these simple problems of communication on ur own then maybe u shouldnt be in a relationship idk js my thoughts! die#sry the 1 person who knows what xactly i mean is asleep and im so tired of getting late night msgs being like hii can u help me SHUT UP#id love to help if we were actually still fucking friends but we arent so js leave me alone bruh#post#nickpost#will delete in morning my mom keeps telling me to put my phone down bt i need 2 say smfh 2 some1#i hate change i hate slight differences in my normal day to day i hate everything i hate not having smth to rely on i hate change i hate it#sry im alg now im js sick of her ass js leave bruh#nimbhe my moms yelling im tired anyway i need to js isolate myself forever no problems if im on an island alone#living my best life in the shade drinking idk water or whatever and just talking to myself bc who even needs friends right!!!!!!!!#its 11:11 make a wjsh#adding more cz whatever im deleting this ltr anyway#its so clear where i stand with everyone cause its always close but not close enough friendly but not friends and i guess its the same w her#bye im out of tags etc whatever nobody matching my freak ever never comfortable in any friendships
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Vaush almost seems manipulative in the way he talks about religion, like i feel very strongly that he doesn't actually think religion is *quite* as bad as something like toxic masculinity but he wants his audience to feel that way, so he keeps drawing comparisons between religion and all these other fucked up things like antisemities or whatever, to give the impression to his audience that he genuinely thinks its that serious, and knowing how a lot of ppl can be in his audience, whatever vaush thinks they decide to take as like the best most intellectually and well thought out take ever, no self analyzing, no questions asked, and i feel like hes manipulating that fact to his advantage, he literally said in his debate w oceankeltoi (which i wasnt gonna watch but did eventually bc i heard vaush kinda sucked in it (and he did)) that hes okay with using peer pressure to try to discourage people from being religious. It seems like hes going to try whatever he can socially to like. Shun anyone whos religious or any of their beliefs and is probably even totally okay with ppl bullying religious ppl so long as the social pressure gets people to stop. Which. Uh. I feel like i shouldnt have to say is a pretty fucked up philosophy
#you are already putting too much work to control ppl just existing#social. political. systemic. wherever you're putting this energy to control it will only end badly.#anyways this whole stuff kinda made me look at him in an entirely different light.#i think hes become too convinced hes always right and has got really into his ass. idk if hes changed since that debate tho bc#i stopped watching him for a while even before it#the problem w that debate is that vaush is doing the thing where hes actually debating the beliefs of certain audience members#whereas ocean is actually just trying to debate him specifically w/o changing the audiences mind quite as much#oceans here trying to understand vaush and vaush is just here to try to make ocean look stupid. not actually understand or come to a#mutual understanding or literally anything. idk. but its pretty frustrating how he devolved to JUST doing that in debates.#hes decided religious ppl are evil or whatever and thus refuses to meet ocean on an equal and respectful level. theres so much lack#of respect here.#i also sorta feel like vaushs 'what about those ppl who think their gods are always in the right' thing was bc perhaps one of his audience#members decided to screenshot one of my posts where i said 'ppl need to accept that their gods arent inherently good' but accidently#typed are instead of arent and idk. maybe its a reach to decide thats why he brought that up but yknow. i do sometimes feel like yall#(hi vaushs community whos probably stalking me online bc i used to be in the community and you think im cringe bc i love#my main boy shiv)#well. ig obviously i feel like some of yall stalk me to poke fun at me and prolly posted that in his discord or smthn#idk but. its gotta stop if its happening bc im literally just some guy#I WANT TO MAKE CLEAR THAT I DONT THINK VAUSH IS ABUSIVE BC IDK HIM LIKE THAT AND CANT MAKE THAT CLAIM#just bc someones being manipulative does not make them ABUSIVE which is a whole different and bigger step towards Bad
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girls who are generally huge fucking flakes to the point where they genuinely do not have Any Idea how or why their friends still want to be friends at all
#im so stupidly fucking grateful that they DO want to be friends still because i love them so much theyre so so wonderful#but dear god if i do not give them Every Fucking Reason to get sick of my shit and drop me#im really really hoping it gets at least a little bit better once i have a car and can invite them out places or go other places#instead of inviting them over <- never knows what to do when people are at their house Ever she is a SHIT host#but also what if thats just an excuse and even once i do have a car im never going anywhere or doing anything with them??#this CANNOT last forever people are gonna get sick of it eventually its an actual miracle they havent yet#and im just. sitting here not changing anything about it always worrying and never DOING anything about it#its not even just offline!! even online its like i can hardly be bothered to actually do things with people sometimes its so.#girl who claims to care so much about people and then doesnt do a damn thing to actually show it ever#and wonders why shes constantly had people in her life tell her that they dont feel like she cares about them#god. need to talk to my therapist about The Food Thing too.#because the thought of changing anything about it is the single most TERRIFYING thing in my fucking life right now#but it stops me from doing So Much and it makes me So Miserable and So Anxious#and no matter how much i dont want to change it i NEED to change it#sorry for being A Downer ive been in a huge episode/relapse the past 5? 6? weeks and its really starting to fuck me up more than-#-it already was#alyalyoxenfree
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If you can, could I request BEN Drowned fluff / smut headcanons like about himself, with his headcanon age, hobbies, facts, what he is into or would like & want in a relationship, and what he would be like with a gamer girlfriend/ s/o?
If ya taking requests rn still?✨😇😊💖
Ben Drowned general + NSFW hcs
A/N: yes!! absolutely. i love getting to talk about how the pastas do their pastaing in my mind. i have so many headcanons for everyone that im excited to share!! also sorry i forgot to include the gamer gf part but i don't think it would change a lot of what i wrote!!
btw sorry for fucking dying i have been busy 😭😭 but no one worry i will still continue to work on requests!! if anyone has any marble hornets stuff they wanna request i will zoom you to the front of the queue so fucking quick. anyways enough of me yapping.
cw: 18+ nsfw, toxic relationships, crying kink,
GENERAL
ben is mentally and physically 22, but he can be quite emotionally immature at times. when he died he never stopped growing and maturing, his soul was just stuck in limbo. think like the worst waiting room ever.
he's surprisingly tall, standing at about 5'9. he's lanky but not bone thin. could easily get pretty far in a fight without his ghost powers.
the link costume only appears when he’s in his ghost form. so for example, when he’s messing with someone on their computer he’ll appear as the canon BEN we’re most familiar with. when he’s just chilling in his physical body, he mostly wears beat up hoodies and sweatpants.
contrary to popular belief, ben's not the hardcore gamer everyone thinks he is. sure, he'll play some overwatch or whatever when he's bored but he honestly just prefers to watch tv and browse the internet. understandably REFUSES to play any zelda games. if you were trapped in a video game for decades would you ever wanna touch it again? exactly.
ben loves to draw little comics and troll (see: horrifically traumatize) people online. god forbid you get into twitter beef with this man because he will crawl through your monitor at 3am and leave you with a crippling fear of technology. dude thinks it's absolutely hilarious. a true knee slapper.
lowkey has a sugar addiction. will slam down 4 cans of pepsi in one sitting. he's very lucky that he's basically a ghost because the kidney stones would be plentiful.
ROMANTIC
you know that guy with the blown out speakers in his car, lives off of energy drinks and burnt blue razz ice elfbars, swears aphex twin is the modern mozart and works on the grill at your local wendy’s? yeah thats ben. or at least would be him if he was still human.
“why would you need a chair, my lap is literally right here babe.”
would absolutely wear your skin if given the opportunity. not in a weird way. he’s just EXTREMELY touchy.
he needs someone who is significantly more organized and motivated than him. he can go almost a week without showering and it should honestly be considered biological warfare when he tries to smother you with affection during these episodes.
after awhile of you guys dating he LOVES the idea of y’all showering together. he has a fear of water and while showers aren’t too much of a trigger, your presence helps ease his anxiety.
favorite pet names: bro, dude, dawg, babe, bitch (non derogatory)
not really a romantic but he tries his best. a perfect date for him is just getting some takeout, watching youtube, talking about stupid shit and play fighting. if you want something more traditional or extravagant then he’ll oblige to make you happy but those types of dates make him feel quite suffocated and nervous. try to save those for special occasions.
now let’s talk about his problems because just like the other creeps he is ANGSTY.
he’s probably the most emotionally stable and healthiest of the group but he definitely still has his toxic traits, after all this man is a ghost that mentally tortures and kills his victims through manipulation.
ben would never ever get physical with his partner no matter how enraged he is but he absolutely is the type to do some mental damage when he gets carried away. ben drowned? more like ben gaslighted.
the type to say some shit that would keep you up for years and then kiss you the next morning like the argument never happened. he finds it easier to ignore problems than to actively talk and fix them. you’re gonna have to teach him some important communication skills or else you’ll grow to resent him after all the bottled up rage.
a bit too brutally honest and blunt for his own good so if you have thin skin the relationship would fall apart pretty quickly. he wants someone who can drag him twice as hard as he dragged you. bonus points if your insults are consistently funny as hell.
please watch anime with him and discuss it. he would propose on the spot, especially if you play with his hair.
pro player tip: if you want him to clean his disgusting room, help him and make it fun! he just needs a little push and motivation at times. and being around you makes him want to get his shit together.
big fan of late night make-out sessions. i’m talking like 45 minutes straight of just slobbering on each other’s faces with tongues down throats. if you don’t want his hands running over every inch of your body then you’ll probably have to chain him to the wall.
NSFW
okay. so he’s a little inexperienced with his hands. he’s just a slow learner. be vocal with him about what you like!!
ben's about 7inches and slightly skinnier than average but he will have you seeing stars in record time. the dick game is no joke. he tends to go fast and deep most times.
i can see him being a switch in the idgaf-as-long-as-i’m-fucking way. dude will go with the flow and will try mostly anything.
definitely one of the least aggressive pastas during sex. he has sadistic tendencies but he’s more of a edge/overstimulate you until you cry versus a beat the shit out of you and rip hair out of your scalp type. he’s pretty vanilla given his occupation.
despite his love of roasting the fuck out of you on a daily basis, the only words that come out of this man’s mouth is heavenly praise. he looks at you like you’re the most gorgeous being on the planet and he’ll let you know it.
he loves to whisper praises into your ear while you ride him.
he's more of a receiver than a giver when it comes to oral. he'll absolutely spend hours between your legs if given the chance but nothing beats the sight of you on your knees and teary eyed with his length in your mouth.
he can be a bit of a head pusher but just let him face-fuck you every now and then, hearing his loud moans will be worth it.
did i mention how much of a crying kink this man has? you guys could be on round three and if he stares at your teary eyed fucked-out face for longer than 10 seconds he'll immediately get hard again. you'll have to beg him to give your poor body a break.
he's also into choking but only if he's the one doing it. if you try to restrict his breathing he'll panic and the mood would get ruined.
#creepypasta#creepypasta smut#celia reqs#creepypasta x reader#ben drowned#ben drowned x reader#ben drowned smut#ben drowned x y/n#ben drowned x you#ben drowned headcanons#ben drowned hcs#creepypasta headcanon
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“taping it” with tooru oikawa
this is part four of my kinktober event!
word count: 1.5k
warnings: nsfw, timeskip oikawa, recording, degredation, unprotected p in v, finishing inside, backshots, fingering, squirting mention🙌, nasty nasty nasty. (18+ mdni!)
notes: early :33 enjoy first haikyuu fic. also need recommendations for what to do w toji cus i wanna write for him so badddd😆but im out of ideas. love u!
kinktober masterlist | masterlist
play ▸
0:01
0:02
0:03
“is it recording?” you ask, soon appearing in the frame as your fiancé adjusts the camera. oikawa squints at the screen, grinning when he can see the full view of the bed behind him. he steps back, turning around, walking over to your cute form, and you’re covering your naked body with a fuzzy blanket. his bare body is shown off to the camera, in all of his glory – hard cock bobbing as he struts towards the bed.
the hotel room is lit by the two lamps on either side of the bed, casting a yellow-white glow over the both of you. oikawa crawls over you, coming to plant a sweet kiss on your lips. he’s so sweet and tender with you – and awfully desperate to show the world who he really belongs to. you lean into his kiss, locking your lips with his, holding onto his shoulders. his slim, experienced hands come to drag the blanket off you, but you quickly stop him.
“tooru, wait—i’m nervous,” you squeak, giving your fiancé an utterly adorable look with your doe eyes. he smiles at your expression, cockily soaking how anxious he continues to make you, even after so many years of being together.
“it’s okay, pretty girl,” tooru coos in reply, watching how your eyes cross as they focus on his lips coming to your forehead. the kiss makes you relax into the sheets and let go of the blanket, allowing for oikawa to peel the blanket off. “relax, just gonna show the world how well you satisfy me, y’know, since they’re so concerned.”
right… the whole reason your soon-to-be husband suggested this tape was because of all the hate comments online, the forum posts and discussions had online about how there’s no way a man like oikawa was going to marry you. your engagement broke the internet, and now, well…
the two of you were about to break the internet again.
3:46
3:47
3:48
“open your legs, pretty,” tooru commands, pushing the soft blanket to the side of your body. no matter how many times you did this, you always felt so nervous exposing yourself to him. like he was a god among men—and with his looks, no one could blame you.
“okay, tooru,” you murmur, spreading your thighs slightly. oikawa can’t help but relish in how trembly you are, anticipating his next move. he takes leeway to quickly grab behind your knees, pushing your legs against your chest, holding you in place by the back of your thighs. no time is wasted before he leans down, tongue darting out to meet your slick folds.
you throw your head back into the soft pillows, hand reaching for tooru’s hair to pull it. he groans at his locks being tugged, the vibration sending chills down your spine. the tip of his tongue comes to circle around your clit briefly, before wrapping his lips around the nub and suckling delicately. every squeak and moan of his name is music to his ears – and picked up by the camera, too. his tongue dips down lower, slightly fucking you with his tongue to pull more choked whimpers from your throat.
there’s nothing else like the taste of you to tooru. the way he felt about you would be described as worship – in each conference or interview he quite literally couldn’t shut up about you. he wouldn’t shut up about you. he made sure that everyone knew just how much he loved you.
that’s what he was doing now, too.
9:59
10:00
10:01
“you ready, baby?” tooru coos into your ear, peppering a few tickly kisses to your neck and cheek. you giggle and nod your head. a sweet gasp is drawn out from your lips the moment oikawa lines himself up, your sensitive hole fluttering around just the little bit he had given you. tooru lifts his head up to look at you; with your eyes screwed shut and mouth slightly agape, all in anticipation for him.
tooru slowly begins to push himself in, aching length stretching you out so easily. you whimper loudly at the familiar stretch, a heavenly feeling the more he slips into you. when he bottoms out, tooru stays still for a few moments, giving both of you time to get lost in the feeling. your mind goes halfway blank, and all the way when he begins to pull his hips back and slam them into you.
his back facing the camera looks a bit awkward at this point, as it shows his whole body tensing up with each harsh thrust he gives you. the camera only picks up on the loud slapping of skin together, and each moan you give that’s loud enough.
oikawa allows himself to let loose for this first part, jackhammering his pelvis into you meanly. he kisses your cervix every time he slams his cock all the way into you, earning confirming moans and whimpers that you just love it so much. all your noises are compliments to tooru, they each make his head grow bigger and self-esteem rise—as if he needed that, anyway.
28:47
28:48
28:49
“tooru—,”
“what, hmm?”
you slap your hands over your face in embarrassment, all to the pleasure of your fiancé as he opens your legs to rest atop his own. he has you comfortably sat on the corner of the bed, while his legs come on either side of you, trapping you into a position with your thighs open. this position gave the camera a good look at you, feeling more exposed than you had thus far.
but the second the tips of oikawa’s fingers poke your spongy g-spot, those worries practically melt.
it would be no surprise to anyone how good the tooru oikawa was with his fingers. but unfortunately for anyone else, they’d never have a chance to experience his skills in the way you did. he had come to know all the sweet spots of you, inside and out, and he used them to his full advantage. tooru took pleasure in making you crumble by himself, and how easily you did so.
the camera picks up the lewd imaging of you spread out, the famous setter’s middle and ring finger slowly yet surely pumping in and out of you, your body quivering each time he hit that spot.
49:56
49:57
49:58
“tooru—please,” you plead, choked sobs coming from your throat.
your fiancé has no intentions of giving up on his crusade—but you’re beginning to regret allowing him to make this tape. he had been fingering you for realistically about 20 minutes, but in your mind, it felt like 20 years.
it was insane how much pleasure can be brought to you by someone’s hand.
a nasty squelching is halfway picked up by the microphone, but unfortunately, the viewers wouldn’t be able to hear the filth being poured into your ears. it was unholy, the mouth on that man. yet he whispered so quietly, just to you, some things that would honestly ruin his career—almost as much as this sex tape would.
tooru’s constant switching of attitude gave you whiplash.
“you’re so disgusting, getting off like this in front of a camera.” “this feel good, baby? ohh, what about this?” “so pretty, baby, look at yourself.” “tell them how much you love me.” “oh my god, did you just squirt on me? nasty.”
you practically cry of embarrassment, shame, and pleasure all in one as you gush around tooru’s fingers. eyes roll into the back of your head, crying out more when he rips his fingers out of you just to rub your clit and force more out of you.
chest heaving, you throw your head back onto tooru’s chest, waving a white flag to tell him you were ruined. yet, after giving you a whole minute to calm down, he kisses your cheek and begins to shuffle, moving you and flipping you around. before you know it, your eyes can’t help but make out your figure in the camera, in a deep, lazy arch.
“almost done showing ‘em, babe.”
1:12:17
1:12:18
1:12:19
tooru revels in the reflection of himself in the camera, a smug look on his face when he clutches onto your hips even tighter. your poor body is all the way fucked out, pathetically shoving forward into the sheets.
“where do you want me to cum, angel?” oikawa smoothly asks, cocky grin apparent just from the way he speaks to you, “tell ‘em where you want it.”
“inside, tooru—cum inside, please,” you reply, making sure it’s loud enough to be picked up on film.
your fiancé wastes no time to harden up with his thrusts, bursting inside of you after a few pumps. your walls squeeze around him and milk him dry, keeping inside every bit of seed you were gifted. shaky legs twitch and spasm when tooru pulls out of you, leaning down to give you a sweet kiss on your left temple.
mere seconds pass, and oikawa steps off the bed—somehow, still hard—and walks over to the camera, smiling at your tired body, leaving an awkward angle of his face as he picks it up to stop the recording.
1:15:43…
replay? ⟳
#haikyuu#haikyuu x reader#hq#hq x reader#tooru oikawa#oikawa x reader#haikyuu smut#oikawa smut#kinktober 2024#pepperyduck's kinktober 2024
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Dress | AA23
in which alex’s reputation of sweet and innocent comes crumbling down after a risqué insta post, so you fix it in an unconventional way…
warnings- fluffy fluffy fluff , inappropriate comments , risqué pictures , online bullying (jokingly)
a/n- alex girlies rise up!! he doesn’t get enough attention and when he does it’s about how sweet he is so here is this for a change … also i haven’t been feeding you guys but dw because i’m officially on vacation so more is coming!!!
your.username
liked by alex_albon , kellypiquet , and 607,528 others
your.username only bought this dress so you could take it off…
username this feels like something i wasn’t supposed to see
username so basically…
your.username im spilling wine in the bathtub
alex_albon actually she was kissing my face and we were both drunk
liked by your.username
alex_albon baby you just ruined my sweet and innocent reputation
your.username sorry , you were a fraud anyways
username not on my 2023 bingo card
username this isn’t even that bad it’s just shocking because it’s alex
username oh he is never gonna live this one down
liked by logan sargeant
lando.jpg never wanna see either of you call each other baby online again
alex_albon
liked by your.username , danielricciardo , and 405,679 others
alex_albon carve your name right into my fucking bedpost .
your.username id let him **** my ****** till i ******
alex_albon gladly.
username fed. absolutely fed.
williamsracing don’t quote me on this but i think this is a breach of contract-
liked by alex_albon
username they cant keep getting away with this
username these 2 need to be stopped
liked by logansargeant
your.username pook i love you but we gotta go somewhere because you are looking super pasty in the fluorescent lighting
alex_albon why are you mean when i’m just trying to love you :((
oscarpiastri please for the love of god stop stop stop
username i expect this behavior out of daniel and heidi but not them
danielricciardo um what does that even mean ??
alex_albon and your.username
liked by williamsracing , heidiberger_ , and 1,254,703 others
alex_albon and your.username we figured we’d really shut you up with this one. 💌
your.username let the record show we fought about the caption
alex_albon i still think i’m right
your.username i never said you were wrong
username they really shut us right tf up.
username congrats!!!
username i feel like it’s just gonna get worse from here
danielricciardo congratulations to be the best couple out there 🍾🍾
liked by your.username
alex_albon everyone thinks that they know us
your.username but they know nothing about
alex_albon all of this silence and patience
your.username pining and anticipation
alex_albon my hands are shaking from holding back from you.
oscarpiastri we are so happy for you guys!! keep making us sick to our stomachs
lando.jpg what oscar said
username first paddock wife in a while
username mom and dad got married
#fluff#formula 1#formula one#f1 x reader#logan sargeant#smau#daniel ricciardo#dr3#dr3 x reader#f1#alex albon#aa23#williams racing#alex albon x reader
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NICE ERA -
[ ot7 x reader ] > pt one HERE
🍼👨🏼🦲⁉️
8 participants - 8 online
———————————
yoongi: love you guys
jimin: are you killing yourself or something?
jk: 😧
yoongi: no i just love you guys
jk: i think yoongi is killing himself 😣
namjoon: here if you want to talk
yoongi: can i not just say i love you guys?
y/n: holy shit
yoongi r u killing urself????
yoongi: no i’m just spreading love
hobi: WOAH WHAT THE HELL
YOONGI ARE YOU DYING??
yoongi: no
jk: pls don’t kys yoongi 😢☹️💔
jin: yoongi is being more open with his feelings guys
hobi: his suicidal ones?
tae: pouring one out for you yoongi 🍾🥂
jin: no just his love for us all
isn’t that right yoongi??
yoongi: right
hobi: nothing about this is right
jk: i’m so scared rn 😓
y/n: is he drunk???
jin: on love!!
yoongi: on love.
namjoon: ew yoongi man what the fuck??
yoongi: we should all have a sleepover at my house like we did on kooks birthday
it will be fun
jimin: uhhhhhhhhhh
hobi: i’m literally shaking in fucking fear rn
yoongi: i’ll order food
tae: are you gonna poison it
yoongi: why would i do that?
tae: guys….
namjoon: in shock
y/n: jin done performed a lobotomy on yoongi ohmygod ☠️☠️☠️
jin: i did no such thing
jk: yoongi look at me this isn’t you
yoongi please
yoongi: hi jungkook
jk: MAKE IT STOP
GUYS MAKE IT STOP WHY IS HE BEING NICE MAKE IT STOP
namjoon: yoongi are you like actually ok?
yoongi: perfect
tae: have i shifted to an alternate universe
jk: shift
tae: night shift
jimin: you need one
tae: no i don’t
jimin: ok mr wire me 10k
tae: that was ages ago thank u very much
get over it
but guys tell him i have money tho lol
yoongi: jimin tae has money
tae: STOP iT???????
y/n: this is so unsettling
yoongi: isn’t it nice us all being together
having fun
and stuff
tae: what is stuff?
pls elaborate on stuff
jk: maybe joon gave yoongi cocaine
namjoon: shut up
tae: yoongi when you say stuff do you mean cocaine?
yoongi: love
us being together
friendship
we are friends
jk: yoongi can i be your best friend
yoongi: you are my best friend jungkook
jk: :D
yoongi: :D
jk: nvm this is really scary sorry
jk left “🍼👨🏼🦲⁉️”
tae: i agree
tae left “🍼👨🏼🦲⁉️”
yoongi: i miss you all
let’s go out to eat tomorrow yeah?
i can pay idm
jin: YESS IM IN
jimin: ofc ur in
yoongi: guys let’s not argue
jimin: ewuuuuu shut up
namjoon added tae to “🍼👨🏼🦲⁉️”
namjoon added jk to “🍼👨🏼🦲⁉️”
yoongi: welcome back ^^
jk: STOP
tae: i’m gonna throw up
jin: please accept the new yoongi
jk: NO
y/n: yoongi have you experienced any serious head trauma in the last 24 hours?
yoongi: no
hobi: i think he’s lying
yoongi: let’s all drink together today
jk: NONONONO
yoongi: oh do you have plans today jungkook?
we can move it to the weekend if you want
jk: girlfriendsaveme 😨
y/n: yoongi….
yoongi: yeah?
tae: yoongi send me a stack
jimin: LMAO u not getting that
yoongi: sure
jimin: fake
tae: HOLY SHIT YOONGI JUST SENT ME MONEY GUYS???
namjoon: oh my god….
hobi: he’s truly lost it
y/n: no fucking way
jimin: WAIT YOONGI ME NEXT HELLO????
yoongi: kk
jimin: I JUST GOT MONEY OHMGODDJJD
jin: isn’t this nice guys??
isn’t yoongi nice??
tae: yeah yoongi ur the best
jimin: love you yoongi
nicest man ever
yoongi: :3
namjoon: oh
yoongi: what can i say
jk: words probably
yoongi: i love my team
i love my crew
namjoon: oh wow
y/n: did he just….
hobi: MIN YOONGI JUST QUOTED SEVENTEEN?/!/£3
jimin: this is insane
jk: our biggest enemies in this life…
tae: WOWWWWWWWWW
jin: so proud!!
how mature how nice !!
jk: i’m going to commit murder and it’s going to be on myself
tae: i think i just threw up
hobi: yoongi you know woozi is in that group right?
yoongi: yes
jimin: and mingyu
the one she went a date with btw
y/n: stop
yoongi: i know.
hobi: he’s mad
yoongi: no i’m not
namjoon: it’s ok if you’re mad yoongi
y/n: no it’s not
jk: yoongi pls be mad
yoongi: i’m not mad
y/n: he’s not mad
jimin: normally he would be mad
yoongi: well i’m not mad so
jin: right he’s a changed man
namjoon: why?
yoongi: what
namjoon: why are you being nice
it’s like freaking us all out
jk: so much 😣
yoongi: i am nice normally
hobi: well no!
yoongi: i am nice
jimin: again no!!
tae: not even 24 hours ago yoongi told me to kms
yoongi: it was a joke
tae:
jimin: publicly executed is crazy
tae: right like omg?
jimin: understandable tho
tae: ok no
yoongi: it was a joke
tae: DIDN’T laugh
jk: yoongi punched me once
twice
three times actually
yoongi: as a joke
jin: guys let’s not focus on yoongi’s past but his present
and his present is nice!
jk: present
y/n: ?????
HELLO WHAT
YOONGI PUNCHED KOOK???
yoongi: as a joke
y/n: WHEN???? NAMJOON DID YOU KNOW?????????
namjoon: no actually i didn’t
jin: y/n joon ur in the past pls join us in the present
yoongi’s present
jk: i want the present
where is the present
yoongi: i’m nice
jk: i can travel to the present if need be
hobi: i’m confused
tae: in what context
hobi: this context ??
tae: oh ok
hobi: what other context is there
tae: sexually
namjoon: why is everything sexual with you?
hobi: sexuality by taemin lol
jimin: WHERE
tae: gay
jk: gay means happy
namjoon: guys
y/n: girls
jk: jimin are you not happy?
tae: jimin are you gay?
jimin: shut up
tae: me when taemin doesn’t call me back pt 407
jimin: why would taemin be calling you
tae: LOL
namjoon: guys enough
tae: one taemin mention he looses his mind you see that guys
namjoon: taehyung
tae: ok sorry
hobi: i’m still confused
NOT sexually
jk: i hope we are all gay (happy) toady!!
yoongi: me too
jimin: (kill yourself)
tae: (taemin)
jk: tae
min
tae min
tae in a min
tae in a minute
jimin x taehyung in a minute
y/n: fork in kitchen
hobi: oh ok
jimin: EW????
tae: that’s my name lol
WAIT WTF
ME AND HIM ????????
I KISS NO MEN
jk: one time you kissed me
tae: ON ACCIDENT
hobi: “accident”
yoongi type “accident”
yoongi: punching jungkook WAS an accident
tae: GUYS ME KISSING JUNGKOOK WAS FR AN ACCIDENT LIKE JOKE
jimin: yeah ok
namjoon: sighs
y/n: liar!!
tae: I WAS KNOCKING AT Y/NS DOOR CUZ WE WERE SUPPOSED TO GO OUT
AND WHEN THE DOOR OPEN I JUST WENT FOR THE KISS OK? EYES CLOSED AND EVERYTHING
jimin: sounds like he likes men to me
tae: NO
I DONT I JUST
STOP
DIDNT KNOW ITVWAS JUNGKOOK UNTIL I PULLED AWAY
jk: it’s ok my lips are very soft like that
y/n: fact
tae: NO ITS NOT OK
jin: wait that’s lowkey so crazy cuz how didn’t you notice the height difference
kook is like way taller than her
tae: thought she was wearing heels
y/n: it was 10 in the morning..
hobi: hold on
you didn’t know it was jungkook until you pulled away…
….
…….
……….
jungkook why did you let tae kiss you?
jk: i thought he was coming out to me
and i’m no homophobe !!!!
i didn’t know if that’s was a normal thing people did when they come out so i just let him do it
because like if i didn’t let him i didn’t want him to take that as me not supporting him yk?
i support him so yeah
idk
i was really confused
and no i didn’t kiss him back
i kinda just stood there
like
🧍🏻♂️
that and yeah
and he was all like “don’t be like that babe” and when he pulled away he screamed fell to his knees and then left
tbh i thought it was a dream
but i guess not
namjoon: how long did the kiss last?
tae: NAMJOON
namjoon: sorry just wanted to know
jk: maybe like 15 seconds
i think my lack of kissing back got to him
jimin: THATS CRAZY LMWKEORIFJFN
hobi: homophobe turned homosexual
tae: I AM NONE OF THOSE
jk: if it makes you feel better the kiss was really bad ur lips were really dry
tae: DON’T DESCRIBE MY LIPS SHUT UPLD
y/n: LMAO
tae: STOP TALKING ABOUT THIS LETS GO BSCK TO THE ORIGINAL TOPIC
YOONGI
YOONGI WYA
YOONGI HELLO
YOONGI
yoongi: i support you
hobi: #somuchsupoort
jimin: so brave
y/n: be who you are
namjoon: 👍🏼
jin: !!
jk: i support you for who you are❤️🧡🤍🩷❤️ (idk the flag )
y/n: lesbian
jk: really 😨
y/n: yeah
jk: but you kiss me 🙁
y/n: what
jk: i can be a woman for you
namjoon: okay !!!!!
enough sexuality talk
um yeah
yoongi say something
yoongi: i love you all
namjoon: omg…
jimin: ew man
hobi: gross
jk: i feel lightheaded
tae: gagging
y/n: 😟
jin: ok i’m not enjoying this as much as i thought i would i must say
yoongi: ?
jimin: ‘i must say’ 💀💀💀
hobi: bet he stroked his nonexistent beard while saying that
jimin: likeeee 😭😭😭
jin: can i live
there was literally nothing wrong with what i said
yoongi: right
jin: STOP
sorry force of habit
yoongi: don’t be upset with me jin
i’m sorry
y/n: yoongi
talk to us
normally
please
yoongi: i’m nice
y/n: i’m aware
yoongi: i’m being nicer
y/n: why
jin: wait omg let’s move on
isn’t it such a nice day lmao
yoongi: great weather we’re having
jin: summer sure is coming!!
hobi: ewww
y/n: this old people conversation ☠️☠️
jimin: imagine what their dms look like
jk: yikes
yoongi: jungkook
jk: sorry
yoongi im sorry
i actually meant
(Y)es (I) (K)now (E)very conversation they have is (S)uper cool
yikes
yoongi: thanks
just wanted to say i like your hair
jk: oh
jimin: his hair has been the same for like the last 5 months
yoongi: i know
just wanted him to know i like it because he’s my friend and he has nice hair
jk: wow
ok
is this real
wow
GUYS
yoongi likes my hair
y/n: wow
jk: YOONGI MY FRIEND
guys at first the new yoongi was really scary but now i think i like him
he’s my friend
pls be kind to MY FRIEND
MY BEST FRIEND
jimin: i still hate his yoongi tell me to kms right now before i do something crazy
tae: please
hobi: no joke
namjoon: yoongi i understand that you are being ‘nice’ now but i hope you don’t lose your true self and personality in this new chapter of your life
y/n: what joon said
jin: yoongi tell us what you like about ME next
ik it’s like really hard so i’ll let you pick 5
yoongi: jin i like
your
um
hold on can we talk about out contracts for one second
hobi: ohmugod guys he’s killing himself fr now
jimin: it was fun while it lasted bro
namjoon: sure
jin: NO WE CANT NO
yoongi: we’re all renewing right?
jk: yes bff ^^
jin: STOP
tae: yeah
hobi: yes sighs looks out window
jimin: thumbs up
namjoon: ofc??
y/n: lol i already renewed
yoongi: what
namjoon: are you thinking about not renewing??
jin: GUYS STOROORIRNRJIRJ
yoongi: y/n
you already renewed???
y/n: yeah?
yoongi: you’re not leaving
y/n: no…
yoongi: were you thinking about leaving?
y/n: no?
yoongi: so you didnt tell jin you i wish nicer????
y/n: lol no
didn’t jin say that in this gc himself like a few weeks ago lmao?
jin left “🍼👨🏼🦲⁉️”
yoongi: bye
going to find jin
yoongi left “🍼👨🏼🦲⁉️”
jk: um
yoongi joined “🍼👨🏼🦲⁉️”
yoongi: also jungkook you are not my best friend all of you can kill yourselves i’ve never prayed on anyone’s downfall as much as i do for all of yours i can’t believe this is my life ur all so annoying taehyung you WILL die the most painful death i promise you if any of you mention this day to anyone ever i will have your nudes on every website known to man and your address on twitter
fuck you all
yoongi left “🍼👨🏼🦲⁉️”
tae: does he know twitter is x now?
y/n: he didn’t mean that
he’s just a little upset
hobi: rip jin
jimin: how the hell does he have MY nudes
tae: didn’t know he was freaky like that 😈👅
hobi: bet you did
man kisser
tae: STOP
jk: best friend…
y/n: he still is your best friend kook he’s just upset at jin rn!!
jk: really?
y/n: yeah!!
jimin: she lying
y/n: SHUT UP
namjoon: so jin told yoongi that y/n was leaving the group because he’s mean
so to get her to say he was nice to us
jimin: glad your following joon
namjoon: ew
hobi: right?
namjoon: okay
cant believe we experienced that
let’s just sleep this one off boys
and girl
jimin: awoman to that
hobi: i have to smoke after this geez
jk: y/n pls hold me i’m traumatised
y/n: on my way
tae: ok but how did he add himself back into the gc tho…
—
didn’t even plan this but look jin did fr do this for HIMSELF LMAO
yoongi dumb as hell for not remembering this
tags: @piw6n @92jinnies @birdie-vhs @blairebangtan @hob3loveofmylife @jujubiism @bloopkook @ratchetpizza1 @myntalks @arloo00 @watamotee33 @y2kcy3brz @taiwan0618 @freyadanvers @gguksbeloved @raetf @bbsantc @winuvs @medicinemybish @bxnnyhime @seokmyballs @batukki @zyaaaszn @thelilbutifulthings @jazminethecreator @meowgiz @jmnscutie @threeopossumsinacoat @cynicalyoongs @lightningpussy54 @eunthv @gigiiiiislife @lowkeykin @iammeandmeisiam @socksfirstalways @knjlvr06 @lailaisarmy @thvkives @xstfudaisyx @xxxanimangxxx @solstice34 @ml8dy @hoeforseoks @futuristicenemychaos @featjunranghae
#bts crack#bts fanfic#bts fluff#bts imagines#bts fic#bts text#bts x reader#btsxy/n#btsxyou#namjoon × reader#jin x reader#yoongi > reader#hoseok × reader#jimin x reader#taehyung × reader#jungkook × reader#bts texts#rm x reader#suga reader#vx reader#hope x reader#hobix reader#bts fake chats#bts incorrect texts
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hazel has a massive crush on the reader but doesn't think she's gay and reader has a massive crush on hazel but doesn't think she notices her
thank you for the request! i hope you like it <33
☆
That's it.
When the tap water hit Hazel's face, she knew what she had to do.
The night before she had read an article online about how to get over someone you had to ignore them for three months. Or something like that. The point was, she just needed just three months free of you to finally end this agony called love and be free.
It couldn't be that hard.
Yes, that's what Hazel was going to do. She couldn't go on suffering in silence, pretending to want to fight you at the club just to enjoy the (violent) rubbing of your body against hers. No. Of course not.
Her case was so severe that she had flunked the literature exam for staring at you during the long classes of 10 minutes - literature was her favorite class!
So yes, Hazel knew what she had to do, and the moment she walked through the school bathroom door she knew she made a decision she couldn't regret.
"Hi!"
God. It was you.
"I gotta go" Hazel said, running from your grasp.
"Wait!" the rubber of your sneakers squeaked against the corridor tiles as you tried to keep up with Hazel's hurried pace "We need to study for the class of Mr G"
The class of Mr G. Right.
Last week there had been the class to determine the pairs for the final project in Mr G's class, "Why should be more male presidents than female?", and you and Hazel had come out together. At the time Hazel had thought it was a sign of destiny, now she wanted to die.
"Uhh..." Hazel's legs were moving with great speed, at a pace you had trouble following "Im gonna quit school"
Your body slammed on the brakes "What!?"
Finally, Hazel stopped her walk and turned to look at you. The corridor was empty and silent, the only sound that could be heard was both of you gasping for breath.
"Yeah" Hazel said, looking at anything but you "Sorry".
Ever since she had met you, Hazel knew how you were going to be her downfall. Entire nights had been spent thinking about you, imagining scenarios where the two of you would magically fall in love and spend the rest of your lives together. Then Hazel would wake up, ready to face her harsh reality where you were not a part of it.
You clearly didn't like girls. Hazel knew this and as much as she would have enjoyed knowing that that wasn't true, the reality was that she was never going to be reciprocated by you. According to her intense pursuit (stalking your social media) your previous partners had all been guys, good looking guys and jocks and funny and with bright futures. Everything Hazel was not.
Liking you had become an act of torture that she willingly subjected herself to every day.
"You are not going to quit school hazel" you shook your head quickly "Let's go".
You offered her your hand, and for a second Hazel was about to take it and abandon her whole master plan.
But no.
"Im sorry" she said "I gotta go"
With a quick movement, your hand made contact with Hazel's arm, stopping her. Your touch felt warm against her cold skin, a contrast that made perfect sense.
You dragged Hazel into an empty room and pushed her body in roughly, then closed the door.
"Ouch" she said "The fight club is tomorrow"
"Im sorry" you said, locking the door.
"What are you doing!?" Hazel exclaimed, her body expression showing surprise "I told you i gotta go"
"We need to talk"
The empty room turned out to be the school chemistry lab. Large jars of liquids and colors adorned the shelves, the sunlight streaming behind them causing a reflection to rest on the faces of both of them.
"We have nothing to ta..." Hazel said, still avoiding your gaze.
"Did i do something wrong?" you said abruptly, and Hazel's eyes finally met yours.
She could easily detect the pain that your eyes transmitted, making her feel like the worst person in the world "Of course not" she said, "You never do nothing wrong".
"Then why are you acting like this?" you whispered.
Hazel had caught your attention from the minute you two fought in the club. Her punches were timid and light, and even when you almost broke her nose in one round, she still asked you worriedly if you were hurt.
Her nobility and gentleness got you from the first moment. From that day on, Hazel left you wanting more and more of her, you felt like you could hardly get enough of her presence.
But she was Hazel, and she was never going to love you.
"I don't know" she whispered too "I just can't keep like this,"
"Like this?"
"Yes, like this!" her voice rose, becoming slightly higher pitched "i cannot stand to be with you anymore."
The words came out of her mouth before she could stop them. Unconsciously, your hand went to your heart.
"Im sorry?" you said, trying to ignore the sudden stinging in your eyes "You cannot stand be around me anymore? fuck off, Hazel"
Hazel laughed unwillingly, shaking her head "You don't understand".
"Oh, why? " you moved closer to her, feeling the words come out of your mouth fiercely, totally controlled by the pain "You think i'm dumb right now? You cannot be around me anymore because you think i'm too dumb? Is that right?"
Hazel continued to shake her head as her hands rubbed her eyes in frustration.
"What, Hazel?" Their bodies were inches apart, the two of them with two completely different emotions "Oh you are not gonna speak now? C'mon Hazel!"
"Stop"
"Then explain to me what the fuck is happening!?"
"Quit now"
"I do not fucking understand why are you acting like such a bitch Hazel!"
"Because i cannot keep pretending that i'm not in love with you!"
The room was silent. The smell of kerosene danced in the air.
"What?" you murmured
"I'm sorry" she said, playing with her own fingers in an attempt to distract herself "I'm sorry"
"Why didn't you ever tell me?" you felt your heart pounding.
"Because we are friends" Hazel murmured in such a sad tone that you just wanted to hug her and never let go "And I'd rather stay friends than lose you".
"Haze..."
"I know nothing will ever happen between us" she said "I understand if you don't want to be my friend anymore".
Carried by the impulse, your body eliminated the space between you and Hazel's lips met yours.
Her lips matched yours perfectly, dancing in sync as if they had been waiting for this moment for a long time. Hazel's hands found home on your face, holding you so gently that you thought you might faint from such bliss.
After a few seconds and to the regret of both of you, you had to pull apart for air, your lips suffer instantly from the lack of warmth of the other.
"I want to be more than your friend, Haze" you murmured, and you could see a smile form on his face.
Your body guided you towards Hazel's lips again, following a path that you had never traversed but felt so familiar.
#bottoms movie#hazel callahan#hazel callahan x reader#one shot#ruby cruz#willow#save willow#bottoms 2023
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What They Text You: Applies to any...cause they're all a bunch of dorky teens and i dont care what anyone says.
Leo:
• look at my new plant
• would you like to have tea tomorrow?
• you look so pretty 😍 leo you cant see me and? i bet you do
• am i really an old man???? 😭😭😭
• be honest, do you think raph can beat me in an arm wrestle? if you dont answer in 5 minutes, i will assume it's yes and i will prove you wrong.
• good morning honey. have a wonderful day today! ❤️
• are you still mad at me...? LEO YOU SET MY MICROWAVE ON FIRE. so is that a yes?
• have you eaten yet? you need to eat...and drink something other than (your favorite drink)
• i got benched because i can't stop throwing up. i'm fine! leo...you threw up blood literally 10 minutes ago. it was only a little 🙄
• i'm in desperate need of a kiss right now.
• check out my new katanas
• remember that i love you 🥰🥰❤️
• for the last time, i wont download tik tok. you know how bad i hyperfixate 😠
• stop playing candy crush and pay attention to me
• keep it up and you won't get the knots worked out of your shoulders.
• mikey just called me a boomer...i feel like i should be offended. you are a boomer. I DONT KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS.
• y/n, i love you, but for the love of god, PLEASE PICK UP YOUR SOCKS.
• *drunk* im in a relationship why do i have your name as my love cause my girl/boyfriend/partner will definitely not like that and i dont know who you are but they will kick your ass and i dont even feel sorry cause you arent love leo...you're drunk. NO IM TAKEN
• call me cause i would like to hear about your day and i miss you
• i love you my love ❤️
Raph:
• come watch me bench im bored
• can you please come get mikey before i hit him?
• wear that giant sweatshirt to our date. ya look adorable in it
• why did you ask donnie to help you with your homework?? um...cause it's about neurons and receptors in the brain. i could've helped with google! 😒
• YOU NEED TO COME KILL THIS COCKROACH RIGHT NOW.
• hey babe. how was your day? ❤️
• have i ever told you how beautiful you are? what did you do. nothing...? i just think you're beautiful. raphael. fine..i broke casey's nose. AGAIN!?!
• i'm so tired...wanna come nap with me?
• facetime me so i can show you this cool trick spike can do
• remember how i said i was going to be more level headed? well donnie's new robot almost broke my arm and it's no more. you lasted 1 day more than the last time.
• *you sent a selfie* yeahhhh that's my baby 😍😍
• eat or im fighting you.
• jokes on you ive always been completely unhinged and it's bold of you to think i cant be worse.
• im sick. can you bring me some soup? 😣
• i miss you like a lot and i hate when you're gone
• i love you a whole lot 😘
• im just gonna start carrying you everywhere if you dont stop tripping over NOTHING. im just gonna trip harder. Y/N NO.
• mikey said we're his parents just an fyi. he's always been my son
• i made waffles. you better come eat some
• damn babe you're fine 🤤
Donnie:
• no i wont do your homework for you
• tell shelldon to stop talking back to me before i ground him for eternity
• im in a house of IDIOTS. technically it's a lair. not now y/n.
• you look like a pile of swans in that sweater 🥰
• i can't sleep. wanna play online scrabble?
• sweetie you need to eat more than a bag of gummy worms and a bag of doritos
• you need to come sit with me while i work because i need an extra set of eyes. you just miss me 😏 don't start.
• don't call a plumber! i know how to fix the sink. i got this 😎 donnie the pipe exploded the last time you "had" this.
• *you sent a selfie* you look nice
• im gonna blow up. a person, a thing, a place, all of the above? yes.
• you need to drink straight broth, it'll help soothe your stomach ache
• im dying. you have a cold.
• i love you but please stop trying to assemble ikea furniture on your own.
• good luck on your exams/work project! 😘
• TELL RAPH TO STOP PICKING ME UP TO MOVE ME.
• leo just called me an asparagus. i didn't know how to respond so his phone will self destuct in 5 minutes. DONNIE.
• you're so pretty 🥺
• i made you something and you have to come get it right now. im literally about to have my wisdom teeth out. reschedule it
• listen to the playlist i made you or else im disabling your pirated tv show service
• thanks for listening to me 💜
Mikey:
• babe come snuggle with me
• i made you brownies so come eat them with me while we watch crognard
• i haven't seen you in so long 😭 you saw me this morning. BUT THAT WAS HOURS AGO
• angelcakessssss i love you
• look at this cat video i found
• FACETIME ME THERES A PUPPY
• are you awake? mikey it's 3 am. good, so would you still love me if i was a worm? go to sleep.
• i bet you look like a cuddly bear today 🥰
• im so hungry. can you bring me ice cream?
• raph wont stop being mean to me. can you beat him up? cause a (your height) tall human can beat a 6ft turtle's ass 😑 i believe in you.
• im coming over with my new call of duty game and we're having a game a thon!
• i found a cat. mikey no. his name is gerald. MIKEY WE ALREADY HAVE 10 OF THEM. HALF ARE NAMED GERALD.
• i made you a mixtape i cant wait for you to hear it
• how mad would you be if i crashed the shell razor in a derby and broke my arm? very. then i did not do that.
• im sick. come help me feel better 😭
• call me cause april just told me something about casey that's wild
• i found this cool rock that i think you'll like
• it's so cool i can date you. you're for real the coolest. you broke my coffee table again didn't you? no...maybe.
• im bringing you lunch cause my baby needs to eat!
• this song reminds me of you 💕
#rise of the tmnt#tmnt 2012#tmnt ask blog#tmnt bayverse#tmnt donatello#tmnt leonardo#tmnt michelangelo#tmnt raphael#ask blog#tmnt 2003#tmnt headcanons
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Hobie gotta beat a mf up cause they stared being a misogynistic asshole to his girl🙏🏽🙏🏽
Problem?
Summary: You start your dream job as a journalist, only to have a sexist co-worker and your boyfriend won't let that slide. Warnings: a misogynistic man (icky icky), fem! reader (she/her pronouns used), not proof read bc im tired, let me know if i missed anything :) Notes: hobie would NOT let that behavior slide period
You loved your job. It was your dream since middle school to be a journalist at one of the top news companies. It was everything you wanted, and more. You had the freedom to investigate what you wanted, when you wanted. You had control over how your stories looked in the paper and online, and you weren't as censored as other places were. It was perfect, except one thing.
Your co-worker, James, wasn't the most...welcoming to you or your ideas. You preferred stories about everyday people doing good things in your community, or focusing on local and small businesses. He thought that your stories weren't as gripping or enticing as they needed, and told you to try harder.
At first, you thought it was just because you were a new employee. But when his targeted critiques didn't stop, you realized it was something else. He wouldn't say the same things to your male counterparts. He also didn't respect your assistant, a sweet girl who needed a job during college. He treated her like garbage, which pissed you off even more.
You had a meeting with all the journalists to get updated on what everyone was investigating and reporting on. When you stood up and explained what you were doing, a simple piece about a bakery owned by a sweet lady and her girlfriend, James rolled his eyes and leaned over to his buddy to whisper something.
"I'm sorry, James, but I'm talking right now. You whispering is distracting me and getting me off track, I'd appreciate if you'd stop," you said calmly, trying to call him out as well.
He sighed dramatically. "Oh, I'm sorry, sweetheart. Didn't mean to hurt your precious feelings."
You wanted to slap him, but you took a deep breath and went back to what you were talking about.
----
You kicked your door shut behind you and dropped your things next to it. "Hobie, I'm home!"
You walked into your living room where Hobie was on the couch, tuning his guitar. He looked up and smiled, immediately setting his guitar aside and going over to you.
"Hey, love, how was work?" He asked, pressing a kiss to your cheek and giving you a hug.
You grumbled and hid your face in his neck.
"That bad, huh?"
You pulled away from him, pacing up and down the room. "It's my god damn co-worker! He doesn't know how to keep his mouth shut! All he does is criticize me and belittle me, along with the other women in the office, but not with the guys! That sexist piece of shit! It's just...I hate it and I can't do anything with causing a HR nightmare, and I don't wanna lose this job, Hobie. It means so much to me and I…I just can’t lose it.”
You stop and wipe the frustrated tears that had slipped down your cheeks. You look at Hobie and give him a wobbly smile. “‘M sorry, didn’t mean to explode on you like that.”
“Don’t apologize, babe. You’re frustrated, I get it,” he replied, walking over to you and running his hands up and down your arms soothingly. “How ‘bout we order your favorite take out, yeah?”
“And we can watch my favorite movie?”
“Anything you want, love.”
----
On his patrol as Spider-Man, Hobie kept his eye out for your…problematic co-worker. He didn’t know what the guy looked like, but he could figure it out. He swung by your office and took a look inside.
There was only two people left, a man and a woman. He was at his desk, sipping some drink and yelling at the poor woman who was just trying to organize some files. He eyed her like a piece of candy and yelled at her for putting the papers in the wrong place. Then, he stood up and grabbed his things before heading to the door.
Bingo.
Hobie swung down to the front doors of the building and waited for the man to walk out. A few minutes later, the man strolled out on the phone.
“Exactly, Tim. I don’t get why she got hired. She just does some stories with zero…what’s the word, content to them? I don’t know, it’s just a matter of time until she gets hit with reality. She even had the nerve to stand up to me-“
“Pardon me, mate,” Hobie said, catching the man’s attention.
The man froze at the sight of Spider-Man, hanging up the phone. Hobie glanced at his badge and saw his name.
“James, is it? Well, I heard you were giving the women you work with some grief.”
“W-what do you want?” James stuttered.
Hobie started to back him into a corner. “You know how Spider-Man believes in…fairness and what not?”
“Y-yeah?”
“Well, I believe your attitude isn’t very fair to your co-workers.”
“Listen, man, I don’t know what you’ve heard, but I-“
Hobie didn’t let him finish, giving him a shove back to cut him off.
“Consider this your warning, James,” Hobie said in a low tone. “Stay away from my girl, and you won’t see me again.”
With that, he swung away, leaving James shaking like a leaf.
----
The next day, when you got home from work, you immediately went to Hobie. He was in the kitchen, fixing some dinner for the two of you.
“Hey, babe, how was work?” He asked, putting his spoon down and going to you to give you a kiss on the cheek.
“It was…good. James didn’t bother me at all, or any of the girls, actually. It was weird, but I’m not complaining.”
Hobie hummed and went back to his cooking. You tilted your head to the side, confused at his reaction. You hopped up onto the counter next to where he was working.
“Hobie…did you do something?” You asked.
“What? Nah, I don’t even know this guy,” he answered.
"Hm, okay," you said. You hopped off the counter, gave him a kiss on the cheek, and went to get changed.
Hobie smiled to himself, knowing that James wouldn't mess with you anymore.
#hobie brown x reader#hobie brown x you#hobie brown fanfic#hobie brown fanfiction#spider punk x reader#spider punk x you#spider punk fanfiction#spider punk fanfic
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Gaslit about covid? Me too. [RANT]
as you all can tell by my page im so new, but for context, im trying to find COVID-19 safe/conscious groups online. i started with Instagram and ive moved to here.
something thats on my mind recently is how i have been severely gaslit to just think covid isnt a thing we should worry for and that im a conspiracy theorist about covid just because i still use mitigation in my daily life and i give a shit about disabled/immunocompromised/chronically ill people in my community and in my life. i genuinely am so scared for whats happening and what will happen to our collective health.
like i had like a breakdown after all my roommates stopped masking last fall and it lead to me being triggered and disassociating for almost a whole year because i felt unsafe with people i previously felt safe with (feeling/being unsafe in my home is a major trigger for me). i was lost touch with reality, i have never felt so disconnected from my friends, mind, and body. it was so bad. And it took a lot of energy, effort, and practice to communicate my needs and boundaries with them only for them to be like "Cool you sound like you're living in fear and im not changing". in the end i decided to move to a different apartment because i coulndt deal with all of them being like that.
the past 4-5 years have made me feel a lot of things and i wrote a poem about the grief ive felt specifically around the pandemic and how it has drastically altered my late teenage and young adult years. maybe ill put it here one day lmao.
a silver lining in this is that all my way of life as i knew it is gone and dead. and that makes more room for me to find people who care for and value our lives at a basic fundamental level and furthermore are willing to act daily to show our love and care for one another. this new life makes more room for me to really question my consumerism [god forbid we stop eating indoors at restaurants and risk getting a deadly virus for shitty food] . it makes me question how i interact with the world with a COVID-safe/mindful lens. and most importantly put disability justice at the forefront of my activism.
I have grieved how life was and i have come out the other side accepting and wanting to do everything in my power to protect my community in the ongoing pandemic. i understand my responsibility and i have begun to see how disability justice connects all of our collective oppression and how disability justice/rights/activism is a key part to our collective liberation. i have seen how covid conscious or safe people [idk what to label it ive been going back and forth bc i think a lot of people have different definitions of these labels im sorry] are so kind, so caring, so compassionate, so giving, and so loving in a way that i dont see or truly feel in other activists/advocates groups. I personally feel the safest, most loved, and understood by my friends, family, and peers who are covid safe and practice community care.
much love to all of them it has made me love them in beautiful new ways. xx im so grateful to have them in my life. if u made it this far ur real asf. if u want share whatever covid related rants id like to read them or if you have thoughts on what i wrote let me know 🥺.
rn i just feel like im shouting into the tumblr void and its been cathartic.
#still coviding#mask up#covid isn't over#covidsafehotties#covid conscious#rant post#sorry for the rant#venting#disability justice#activism#black women#doll divine#doll design
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pretty boy pt 5
ethan landry x reader
warnings: smut, little bit of plot, “nipple play”, masturbation (m!receiving), dirty talk, thigh riding, lowkey sub ethan
notes: oh my god hey guys. i’m sorry i’ve been mia, it’s been a long week but i cracked this bad boy out for y’all so hopefully you enjoy it, i’m too tired to proofread so i apologize for any typos. i tried to lessen the amount of plot and get to the good stuff ;)
also i think the next part will be my last for this series because i wanna write other like pov of ethan in different scenarios so im gonna try to wrap this up. enjoy!!
pt 1 , pt 2 , pt 3 , pt 4 , pt 5, pt 6
————————————————————————
for the next couple of days you and than found anytime to hang out. whether you were skipping class or making tara and chad hang out so you could spend your time with ethan, you made it happen. every since he gave you head the last time, it’s like he can’t stop. he was quite literally pussy whipped for you, the way you moaned out as he devoured your clit, the endless praises you’d give him, calling him pretty boy, he didn’t said a chance. it got to the point where he could get himself off grinding on the bed with his head in between your legs, attacking your cunt. he’d groan when you’d slip your fingers through his curls, gripping his hair as you came closer to your unraveling.
chad had left to go the gym and afterwards he had class so he wouldn’t be back until much later. you came over shortly after he left to hang out with ethan. it wasn’t just sex, you enjoyed his company too but god the sex was good. well not “sex” by definition. you hadn’t fucked yet, and he hadn’t really complained about it. even thought you’ve been with each other in every possible way he still shyed away at the deed. he was just simply happy to be involved in any way which somehow made him even hotter.
you came over in a pair of baggy sweats and an oversized, just some stuff you pulled out of your closet, ‘easy to get out of’ pieces. you laid next to ethan on the couch as he sat watching a lecture and jotting down notes. he was wearing some athletic shorts and a tshirt with a random logo on it. you guys may or may not have skipped some classes to be able to hang out with each other without the rest of your friends in close proximity. and may or may not be required to watch these online lectures for review.
“do we reallyyy need to watch this ethan, i’m bored,” you whined kissing up his neck. you couldn’t care less about biology 101. i mean who gives a fuck.
“we missed class, we have to do this,” he replied shifting in his seat as you still trailed kisses over his chest. he struggled to focus on the video when he felt your lips on his skin. he loved kissing, his biggest turn on you learned. he’d always kiss you whether you just came on his tongue or swallowed a load of his. he was addicted to your lips. and the way he looked after a long kiss, lips soft and plump waiting for more. he was struggling to resist you now, eyes fluttering shut.
“i mean technically only one of us needs to be paying attention,” you whispered into her ear. you nibbled his earlobe playfully as you continued to tease him. you could see he processing what you said.
“you’re not w-wrong,” he faltered as your hands traveled under his shirt over the ridges on his stomach, “but i can’t focus when you’re kissing me and touching me.”
“ok, then i won’t,” you shrugged sitting back into your spot.
he quietly groaned at the absence of your lips and touch on his skin, “the thing’s almost over, then i’m all yours.” he leaned over and kissed you softly, lips molding together as he slipped his tongue inside your mouth lightly before pulling away. he hadn’t even realized this just spurred you on modern but he’d readjusted timely, refocusing on the video before him. you sighed loudly next to him, slightly exaggerating to draw his attention. he wouldn’t budge though, smiling in your direction, still working on you guys’ notes.
“i’ll be right back,” you quipped before hopping off the couch to head to the bathroom. you couldn’t watch this boring ass lecture any longer and you couldn’t stop thinking about ethan. you eventually decided to take matters into your own hands. before leaving the bathroom you took off your sweatpants, revealing your black panties that hugged your waist under your shirt. you walked back into the room, noticing his eyes on you from the second you walked in.
“where um where are your pants,” he asked dumbfounded. you’d broken his focus from your assignment.
“it’s a little warm in here,” you shrugged sitting down right next to him swinging one of your legs over his own, spreading then so lightly to expose your clothed core. he glanced down quickly before looking up again clenching his jaw.
you reached between your legs, circling your clothed clit. you let out a sharp breath as you brushed the bundle of nerves. you reached to palm one of your tits over your shirt, kneading the mound. the stimulation was enough for you to let out another gasp as you played with your nipple. your shirt tickled your hardened nipples sending shocks to your core. you breath grew heavier as you sped up your fingers on your clit, closing your eyes as you felt your panties grow wet with your arousal.
ethan couldn’t take it any longer, he let out a huff, “fuck.” shutting off the tv and tossing the remote somewhere in the room he embraced you quickly. he kissed you roughly, holding your face to his forcing his tongue into your mouth. he’d almost sucked all the breath out of you. you climbed over his lap, pressing your wet center onto his growing erection. he bucked his hips as you grinded on him, kissing his neck softly. he could feel your arousal through your panties. you felt his hands creep up your legs, groping your ass under your shirt. they soon moved to your thighs, and closer to your center until you stopped him.
“no, you had your chance and you wanted me to wait,” you said after pulling away from the kiss, “remember only one of us has to be focused.” you shifted your position so you were now only straddling one of his legs, his bare thigh directly under your mound.
“cmon you know we have to catch up on this class, i’m ready now,” he pleaded, looking down between the two of you at your cunt glistening with arousal. you pulled your top over your head exposing your bare chest to him. your hardened nipples poked out massively, erect from the stimulation. you brought his hands to your chest and he kneaded your boobs, capturing your nipple in his mouth. he nibbles on the bud, soothing the pain with licks over the mound.
“so i’m gonna focus on me,” you whispered into his ear as you lowered yourself onto his thigh, gasping at the feeling of your clit on his sculpted thigh, “a-and you can watch, but no touching.” you moved his hands away from your chest and placed them by his side. he looked at you in awe as you started to move back and forth on his thigh, your arousal slicking his skin. you played with your clit as you rocked your hips on his leg, feeling the pressure build in your core.
honestly ethan may have been enjoying this more than you, his breath hiked with your own. the feeling of your cunt on his thigh made him rock hard. when he flexed you could feel his muscle massaging you core, causing you to whine out and move faster. his eyes were trained on your cunt moving back and forth, breathing heavy. you wanted more from him, needed more.
“l-look at me,” you cooed, he looked at you, watching as your eyes screwed shut at the feeling of his bare skin between your folds, “you know what i want you to do.”
“touch yourself,” you said, “i wanna see you fuck your hand, and i want you to think about me.”
you kissed him harshly, biting his lip as you pulled away and rested your forehead against, “can you do that pretty boy?” he nodded as he pulled his cock out of his boxers and began to pump his length. his tip had already been oozing precum as it glistened under his touch. you spat between the two of you, your saliva falling onto his cock, lubricating it as he pumped faster, tightening his grip around his length. you followed his rhythm. as he fucked his length faster, you rode his thigh harder, coming closer and closer to your orgasm.
“what does it feel like baby,” you asked breathlessly while you relentlessly fucked yourself on his leg.
“tight,” he groaned, looking down at your cunt gliding across his thigh, “and wet.” he whimpered as he jerked on his cock harder. “y-you wanna know how you feels,” you moaned, “hard.” he groaned as you described your feelings to him explicitly. “feels like i’m gonna cum all over you any s-second, fuck.”
you could hear your slick on his skin, along with the noises of ethan fisting his cock and it sent you over the edge. eyes screwed shut you gasped as you released your arousal all over. you clenched around his leg, riding his thigh through your finish. rambling about how good he felt and how good he was listening to your instructions, “ethan y-you’re so good, so good for me.” you opened your eyes only to find he hadn’t finished yet, he was still jerking himself off, eyes on your cunt. you could tell he was close as his hips bucked into his fist and his breathing became sloppy.
“you know what i thought of while i came all over you,” you whispered as you wetly kissed all around his neck, “your cock inside me, big, stretching me all out.” he groaned at your words, increasing his pace even more to reach his orgasm.
his eyes were screwed shut now, focused on cumming. he hummed as you spurred him on with your dirty words, teasing and taunting him, “imagine my cunt wrapped around your pretty cock,” you spoke, “can you feel me?”
“mhmm,” he whimpered, “oh shit.” his orgasm ripped through him as he came hard into his hand and onto your stomach. he shuddered underneath you, jaw clenched as he experienced his high. he’d never felt anything like it. he felt weak, breathing heavy as you sat smiling at him, looking at the mess the two of you made. you kissed him softly, tangling your fingers in curly hair.
“can’t wait until you fuck me pretty boy,” you giggled into his ear. when you pulled away ethan was bright red, still shy of your bluntness. regaining his composure he realized, “we’re uh- we’re gonna need to clean up before chad gets back.”
“ok, but chad won’t be back anytime soon,” you bet, “it hasn’t been that long.”
seconds later you heard three knocks on the door.
“ethan, i forgot my keys again can you let me in?,” chad yelled.
“oh i guess it has been that long,”
“oh shit”
#scream fanfic#ethan landry#smut#ghostface#scream#ethan landry smut#ethan landry x reader#scream 6#no plot whatsoever
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you're absolutely disgusting for glorifying fascist characters
james married lily and they would both vomit at the idea of being anything close to friendly with a death eater
Okay this is so stupid but I feel like I should speak up about this because it is HORRENDOUS.
Also really? An anonymous hate comment? Thats just sad, if you’re going to be hater at least have the guts to say it to my face.
I actually laughed when this came into my inbox. They are wizards! Fictional wizards, to clarify. We know next to nothing about regulus, james or lily! So, if i want to make a post about jegulus, i will make a fucking post about jegulus.
You can’t go around calling people fascists just because you dont agree with their opinion, it is so childish and it takes the meaning from the word.
I respect everyones opinions, you dont like jegulus? Thats fine, i respect that. You ship jegulily? Cool, I don’t massively ship it but id never hate on someone who does. You ship jily? Yay, me too! So how about you send a prompt to my inbox and ask me to write a jily oneshot, you dont need to flood my inbox with stupid hate while being anonymous! If you really want to say something, you wouldnt do it anonymously.
There is so much to this fandom, so many headcanons and so so many opinions. And everyone has the right to their opinion, I really dont give a shit that you dont like jegulus, but calling me a fascist is just so pointless.
How on earth do you want me to react? “Sorry, I will stop shipping the couple that have offered me comfort on a daily!” Or “oh wow, you’re being pointlessly stupid, that is such a good point!”
No, because at the end of the day, no one reacts like that. No one will listen to you if you act like that! If you dont support me for liking jegulus, get off my page, honest to god. If you dont like jegulus but you like wolfstar, just skip the jegulus content. Its so easy!
If you want less jegulus content on your feed, maybe stop actively searching for jegulus creators to hate on?
Jegulus brings me so much comfort, if im having a bad day I can just do some writing, or make a video, or read some more of the fanfic i was in the middle of. And you are calling me a fascist simply because i seek comfort in a couple of fictional wizards? Just let people be happy, it really isn’t difficult. And if you cant understand that, you really shouldnt be commenting on it, because you are obviously uneducated and not mature enough to be saying and speaking up about things like that.
I am literally just a another human trying to have some fun and find happiness in the things that I love, and you are some random person online who clearly only finds joy in trying (and failing) to make people feel like shit, get a life. And again, if you have a problem with this post, please DNI, hate is not wanted and is really not needed.
Anyway im off to write some more gay fanfiction about said ‘fascists’, bye!! 🫡
#marauders#jegulus#james potter#regulus black#james x regulus#sunseeker#regulus x james#starchaser#wolfstar#jegulily
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my ramblings about eurylochus :DDDD :
eurylochus is such a interesting and like amazing character. he’s introduced saying to burn down a island and pillage for food for his and his mens hunger. he shows that he holds his crew within high regards and do many stuff for them “six hundred reasons to take what we can”. ody may be captain eury is the person who has more of the crews trust(i personally believe this is cause eury listens and communicates with them more? idk just silly brain). some of this is shown that while odys instrument is a guitar, penelopes is a viola(i think thats what it was?), eury’s ‘instrument’ is the crews vocals, showing that what he says is usually the echoed sentiment of the crew. also with him during the entire musical leading up to when he opened the wind bag it is shown how his distrust grows. every time he gives his opinions or worries to ody its just brushed off like it was nothing due to odys hubris(he was right pretty much every time BUT STILL. its a cause for eurys distrust to grow which eventually causes him to open the wind bag(and not blaming ody theyre all complex characters who have their faults)). when eury suggested to pillage the lotus eater island, run away from the cyclops, not go to the wind gods island, and more ive probably missed eury was just kinda brushed off in my opinion. AND IN PUPPETEER he goes to ody to confess his wrong doing, to apologize he once again gets brushed off “whatever you need to say can wait some more. of that, im sure”. then when he comes back without his crew who were scouting, explaining this great power who took his men, his brothers. he is scared, he wants to run and not lose any more people, he believes the men turned pigs are now gone, this is a powerful being who he believes wont be stopped and he says these wories but guess what. ody ignores again. he’d probably have been turned into a pig or even died without the moly root from hermes. (skipping the underworld saga cause he doesn’t have any lines besides backing vocals. maybe this is intentional showing that he’s now trying to not question ody anymore as ody’s been right every time?? idk) In the thunder saga he finally confesses about him opening the wind bag. his guilt is finally to much to bear(and maybe whispers from scylla and being hungry made himself more prone to confess?? idk). and what does ody do? he just seems to brush it off and tells eury to light six torches. attempting to send eury to a death sentence. he broke the final straw. this intentional killing of six men and not even giving the crew the choice to give up, to not go through scylla’s lair not even the knowledge that this is scyllas lair. so he mutinies. they don’t kill ody they wrap up his wounds and don’t kill him. they’re brothers and love each other(fun fact eury is actually odys brother in law). eury and the crew are tired. they are so tired and hungry. their captain just sacrificed six of their brothers. eury isn’t thinking straight and kills the sun gods cattle even with odys begging for them to not. it’s just heartbreaking. as ody picks his wife over his crew(don’t blame him for that choice) eury just sounds dejected. he knows what ody will choose and is just so tired.
eurys story in epic ends as it started. in hunger
these characters are so complex i just AGH i love eurylochus. he may have made some super terrible decisions but i still love him and think he’s over hated online
im normal.. definitely 😸
#eurylochus ramblings#im definitely normal#im so autistic#and gay#god i love epic the musical#and the characters are so well written#AGH#me when eurylochus called him ody ☹️#eurylochus#epic the musical#epic the musical spoilers#epic the thunder saga#full speed ahead#storm#luck runs out#puppeteer#scylla#mutiny
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