#i realized that i feel comfortable Now but there aren’t really any like. supports to keep the same thing from happening again

[ceramicbeetle]

much to be said about how it’s kind of unfair to try navigating life while Touched, but also i think it’s just a normal facet of life that you can’t always get what you want,, so it’s hard to justify bitching Too much sometimes :/

[lavenderspence]

A bunch of cuties in love | A.H.

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x fem!reader

Content warning: fluff, nicknames (i think that's about it?)

Word Count: 2.2K

Summary: Running late to a meeting with Strauss, Hotch leaves Jack with his favorite person - you. The scene that greets him when he comes back leads to some realizations. 

Request: Hotch request: BAU!Reader is Jack’s favorite and always spends the day with them when he’s brought along to the office. They have a cute bonding moment that Hotch secretly watches. Cue the “oh god I’m in love with them aren’t I”

A/N: it’s been two months today since I made this blog, and it’s been wild, it’s been fun, and it’s been a little teary. thank you for the love and support! Please enjoy this cute little hotch piece, I had a blast writing it! Thank you to the anon who requested this, and I’d love to hear what you think! Also, I miss old Disney😭

masterlist

9:23.

On the days you weren’t working on a case, and the only thing you really needed to catch up on was paperwork, your usual start time was 8:30. Yet almost an hour had gone by and he wasn’t in his office like he usually would be.

With a punctual Unit Chief like Aaron Hotchner, it was a shock, and a little nerve-wracking that he was late. 

You’d lie if you didn’t say you were getting a little worried, taking into account the last and only time he’d been late - Foyet attacking him in his own home, leaving him with long-lasting trauma, scars, and without his family. 

You'd never forget that day, and every day after where he was left to suffer, laying the blame on himself. No matter how many times you said it, how many times Rossi patted him on the back, reminding him it wasn't his fault, you knew a part of him still didn't believe it.

And the part of you that cared about him, maybe a little more than you should, didn't have the heart to watch him do this to himself - the silent guilt, the long empty looks. 

You’ve known him awhile, seen him through many of his ups, and just as many as his downs. You’d seen him laugh in glee and beam with happiness, you’d seen him lose it in anger and anguish and you’d seen him cry in heartbreak. 

So much of your life spent beside him, so many memories linked with him, and your team. And much of it you knew was friendly love - your love for Emily and Spencer, JJ and Morgan, Penelope and Rossi. But the love you felt for him was just a tiny bit different, deeper, not the friendly kind. 

You’d only recently started to understand what you were really feeling for him, as recent as the last few weeks. Still new and a little unexplainable at times, you were learning to balance that, within your friendship.

You didn’t think you wanted to pursue anything, right now. It had been a little over two years since he’d lost Haley, since he’d needed to start navigating his life as a single dad, a widower. 

You could still see the pain in his eyes, fresh as the day it had happened. You knew he was managing, but it was still apparent, that it was hitting them both hard.

And Jack? He was a little ray of sunshine in the otherwise gruesome life all of you led - the same could be said about Henry. But Henry was Reid's favorite, as his godfather, you knew the bond between them was unbreakable. 

But Jack? You were his favorite, and he was yours. 

He was your little buddy, your partner in all things art, cartoons, and Disney shows. He was your little helper during all things baking - you'd babysat once and he'd requested chocolate chip, peanut butter cookies and you'd been more than happy to help him make them.

He was a natural baker and a little taster. 

Your love for the little cutie ran as deep as your feelings for his dad.

At the end of the day though, you were a friend, a shoulder both could use to lean on and rely on. You were comfortable in your role within their little family and weren't looking to make any changes then.

9:28.

You were playing with your watch, already having decided you’d be giving him a call if he didn't arrive by 9:30.

Worry was making your hands sweat, and just as you went to wipe them on your pants, the door to the bullpen opened, and in walked a very frantic Hotch - his tie was a little crooked, shirt a little wrinkled, and Jack - a little backpack on his back, and a curious look paired with a timid smile.

Aaron's eyes searched the bullpen, as did Jack's, the little Hotchner noticing you seconds before his father did. You stood up, watching as the blond pulled away from his dad, and on a little run, made his way towards you. 

“Cutiee.” He called out, using the nickname you called him, to address you too. You leaned down when he was a few steps away, accepting his hug, his little arms wrapping around your neck. 

“Hi, cutie.” You greeted him, a wide smile on your face. Hotch had made his way over to you by then, giving you a barely-there smile, but his eyes shone.

“You're late.” You started, pulling to your full height.

“Yeah, Jessica was called on an emergency at the last minute, and Liah is away on a hiking trip, so here we are.” Liah was Hotch's neighbor, she looked after Jack for a few hours when Hotch couldn't stay with him, or Jess was busy.

He looked at his watch, running a hand through his hair, messing it up a little.

“I have a meeting with Strauss…well, right now. Can you please watch him until I get done?” 

“Go, don't make her wait. We'll be okay and we're going to have fun. Right, Jack?” You watched him nod at both you and his dad before Hotch exhaled.

“You're a lifesaver. Be good for Y/N, okay buddy.” Another nod from Jack, and he was on his way to Strauss's office.

‘’Okay Jack, let's see if Aunt Penelope can download a few episodes of ‘The Suite Life’ for us, and then we'll go color and draw for a while. Does that sound good to you?” 

“Very good. Can I also have orange juice?” He asked, taking your hand in his small, soft one, fingers wrapping around your own.

“Let's go see if we have any.” You walked towards the small communal kitchen space, checking the fridge and then you checked the pantry…and, “Bingo. Let's go see the lair.” You led him to Penelope's office.

“Knock, knock, may us mortals enter?” You joked, making your little partner giggle. 

“Us?” Her voice rang from the other side of the door.

“I have sir Hotchner with me. The smaller one.”

“Hey,” Jack said in outrage

“My favorite Hotchner.” You added.

Penelope pulled the door open, beaming at both of you, before she made space for you to enter. 

“Jack, my love, hi,” She raised her hand, letting him give her a high five. Even though she was affectionate, Jack wasn’t as much, especially after Haley. He only hugged a few people now - Jess, his dad, and surprisingly, you. 

It really showed how comfortable he was with you.

“What brings you to my tech cave?” She asked. You raised your brows at him, prompting him to do the talking. 

“Can you, please, download a few episodes of Zack and Cody for us?” His voice rang with its usual child calm and sweetness, fingers intertwined in front of him. 

Penelope's smile softened even more, “Sure thing, sweetie,” Her eyes turned towards you then, “Your tablet?”

“Yes, please.” You knew it was a work tablet, but no one had to know.

“Any requests?” She asked the little guy.

“You pick.”

“Okay-dokey. Should have it in about 10 minutes, my loves.”

“Thank you, Aunt Penelope.”

“Thanks Pen.” You gave her air kisses before you led Jack out and towards his father's office. 

His day had started rocky, hell, the whole night had gone that way. 

Jack had woken up from a nightmare - twice at that. After the second time, he’d asked Aaron to sleep in his bed, too scared and sad to stay in his room.

He’d snoozed his alarm, just once, and had a hard time waking his son up too. He’d had 20 minutes to get himself ready, but Jessica had called 10 minutes before she was supposed to arrive - apologizing because she’d been called on an emergency at work. 

Aaron had to rearrange his whole morning then, already aware he’d be late for work. He’d had to get Jack and his backpack ready and cook him breakfast. All of that, and be in the office before his 9:30 meeting with Strauss. 

Breakfast and preparing Jack for a day at the BAU, he’d done successfully. Arriving on time had been a little tricky, with barely 2 minutes to spare. 

But when he’d walked into the bullpen, Jack spotting you just seconds before he did, and he’d watched your smile grow, he’d known all would be okay. 

Watching you with Jack always brought a warm feeling within him, like he was watching something sacred. You were always patient and kind, always interested in listening to him talk, even though he was a quiet kid, who appreciated quality time more. 

You gave him that too, and a lot of it - you watched cartoons and shows with him. Colored and drew, baked cookies, and played with him whenever he wanted. Any time spent with Jack was about what he wanted, what he liked doing, and above all, making him comfortable. 

Even if it meant cleaning flour off your kitchen floor and whatever had gotten in the drawers too. 

He appreciated, even loved the bond you had with his son, every smile, every hug, and every minute you spend with him. He loved hearing about you from Jack - what you’d done together, what you’d told him, the stories, the jokes, the conversations. 

Hearing his son proclaim you as his favorite person in the BAU had made his heart soar. Taking into account all the time you spent with him, it wasn’t really a surprise. He bonded hard, but once he did, he never went back.

He was much like Aaron himself in that regard. His trust had to be earned, as did his friendship, and it required hard work. Jack was much the same. And you’d successfully earned both of theirs with your beautiful and caring personality. 

He exhaled a breath, checking his watch, step fast, and briefcase in hand. 

11:18.

His meeting with Strauss had run longer than he’d anticipated - over an hour and a half. Diplomacy, politics, budgets, and cuts, they’d run through countless things, half of that meeting already fully blacked out from his memory. 

He was tired - every meeting with Strauss left him drained. Worried,  about Jack and his state of mind after last night. All he wanted to do was get to his office and check up on his son. 

Walking into the bullpen for the second time that day, he quickly made his way towards his office, only to stop short at the window. The blinds were open, having forgotten to close them last night, so he had a clear and full view of his office.

You were sat on the couch close to the armrest, Jack cuddled against you, cheek squished against your collarbone, face almost buried in your neck. 

Your work tablet sat propped on the coffee table, and your arm wrapped around his small body, keeping him close. His eyes were almost closed, your thumb running soothingly on his back. 

He watched, mesmerized by the scene. He felt himself soften, all of him. His face, the furrow in his brow, and the tight set of his lips. His whole body, his heart, suddenly at peace. 

For months he'd observed the kindness you showed everyone - the families of victims, heartbroken by the injustice of life. Passersby, people you might never see again. Your team, especially, your work family. Jack, and even Aaron himself. 

And as he watched you with his son, the one person left in this world who truly loved him, no matter his rights or wrongs - he couldn't help but feel himself unravel. 

Every little thought he'd had about you, every feeling he might have somehow suppressed in order to protect himself and his child, they all attacked him, in seconds. 

Because the truth was, you earned his trust, his friendship, and somehow along the way, you'd won his heart as well.

Right at that moment, his heart pounded in need, in adoration, in pure, clear love. Love he hadn't allowed himself to feel since Haley. Love, he'd frankly hadn't felt in years, ever since he’d put his signature down on the dotted line. 

He wanted to get home to see this. He wanted to see you put Jack to bed, and kiss his forehead with a whispered ‘good night’.

He wanted to stroke your cheek tenderly, pull you into a kiss that made you melt, and stroke a fire within you like no one else could. 

He wanted to tell you he loved you - in the car, as he drove you to work. In the kitchen during breakfast and dinner. In his office, a few stolen moments as you worked. And under the sheets, while you made love. 

And even through the fear that gripped him in a vice, of rejection, separation, and even trust - he still wanted to love you, as if he was loving someone for the first time again. 

“Everything okay, Aaron?” David asked, passing on the way to his office. 

Aaron barely spared him a glance, nodding his head a little, “Yeah, it's okay.”

He pushed the door to his office open and walked in, greeted by his new favorite sight, and his two favorite people. 

Comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated!

[solxamber]

Hi! Just wanted to say I’m in love with your TWST writing. Was just reading the white rabbit series and I’m hooked. In part 3 we see that White Rabbit! Reader is 100% not ok, mostly because nothing has changed. They still have all their work to do, all their school work, all the “requests” from the NRC boys and staff, and they are STILL being teased. Sure the teasing may have changed a little but it’s still there. Reader is still being brushed aside, not listened to. Characters like Crewel and Leona may say they like the change, and that kinda hurts? They like reader being burnt out and just so worn down? Everyone seems to have comments on what they think, but have they asked what our little rabbit thinks? What reader feels? Do any of them realize just how much our White Rabbit actually does for everyone?

I kinda want to see White Rabbit! Reader snap again and just get teary eyed and say how the other overblots got support and can change, but reader still has a role. Reader can’t stop doing their work. They just can’t care anymore because it’s clear others don’t care about them. If others think it’s so good for them to be like this then what does that mean? Reader doesn’t want to be stressed out. They don’t want to lash out and hurt others, they never did. But they just feel so worn and done with it all.

IDK I just see it being such good hurt/comfort fic material. Rabbits may be prey but they aren’t just weak and defenseless. Our little rabbit thought has just had enough. I’d love to see your take on this.

Hope you’re doing well!

White Rabbit! Reader Aftermath

Original Ask ; Rabbit Overblots ; Overblot Aftermath

Characters: All NRC + Staff, Rollo, Neige, Che'nya

hi! I'm sorry it took so long, it went way too long and got out of hand. i hope you like it <3

Riddle Rosehearts:

Riddle noticed something was wrong. It was in the way your shoulders sagged under the weight of another endless list of tasks. It was in the way your normally brisk pace had slowed, as if each step you took was through quicksand. But he didn't say anything—not at first.

You were always like this, weren’t you? Always running late, always fretting about something. He just assumed it was your usual nervous nature.

Except, it wasn't.

The change was subtle, but there was something different in your eyes now. Something darker. You still did the work, you still completed each task with quiet efficiency, but the politeness had taken on an edge of detachment. You weren’t anxious anymore—you were done.

"Here's the report you wanted," you said one evening, handing him a set of documents. Your voice was flat, no longer laced with the apprehension he’d grown used to. There was no fidgeting, no desperate need for approval in your tone.

Riddle paused, looking up from his desk. "Is everything alright?" The question was curt, almost accusatory, as if he was more irritated by your change in demeanor than concerned.

You gave him a tired smile. "Does it matter?"

His brows furrowed. "Of course it matters! You’ve been acting strange."

You laughed—a bitter, hollow sound that sent a shiver down his spine. “Strange? No, Riddle, I’ve been tired. You’ve never noticed that before, have you?”

The air between you stilled, a suffocating weight pressing down as he processed your words. You were always so compliant, so willing to go along with everything. He’d assumed you preferred it that way. After all, hadn’t you always done your work without complaint?

But now, seeing the exhaustion etched into your face, the lifelessness behind your eyes, he realized he’d been wrong. He’d taken your compliance as a given, never once considering the toll it had been taking on you.

“Why didn’t you say something?” he asked, but the question felt hollow even as it left his lips.

“Would you have listened?” you shot back, your voice soft but cutting. “When have any of you ever really listened to what I have to say?”

Riddle swallowed hard, the sting of your words settling deep in his chest. He prided himself on fairness, on order, but he hadn’t been fair to you. He hadn’t been listening.

“I’m sorry,” he said, his voice quieter now, tinged with something that felt dangerously close to vulnerability. “I should have seen it. I didn’t realize how much I was asking of you."

You shook your head, not in anger, but in resignation. “I’m not asking for much, Riddle. I just need someone to care. Really care.”

For the first time, Riddle felt helpless, unsure of how to fix what had been broken between you. But he stepped forward, awkwardly placing a hand on your shoulder, trying to offer some comfort—an unspoken promise to do better.

“I’ll be better,” he murmured, “for you.”

Trey Clover:

Trey always noticed things. The way you bit your lip when you were nervous, the way your eyes darted around as if you were constantly expecting something to go wrong. But now, things were different.

It wasn’t the nervous energy that worried him. It was the stillness.

You sat at the table in the Heartslabyul kitchen, staring blankly at the open textbook in front of you. You had come to help him prepare for the next Unbirthday Party, like you always did, but tonight you barely spoke.

Trey placed a cup of tea in front of you, watching as you absently reached for it. “You okay?” he asked gently.

You blinked, as if snapping out of a daze, and gave him a tired smile. “I’m fine.”

But you weren’t. You hadn’t been for a while now.

Trey sat down across from you, resting his elbows on the table as he studied your face. “You don’t look fine. You’ve been quiet lately. More than usual.”

You shrugged, staring down into your cup. “Just tired, I guess.”

Trey wasn’t sure what to say. He wasn’t good with words, not in the way Cater or Riddle were. But he didn’t need words to see that something was wrong. The way your hands trembled slightly as you held the cup, the way your shoulders seemed to carry the weight of the world.

“You’ve been overworking yourself, haven’t you?” he asked, voice soft but firm.

You let out a dry laugh. “When am I not overworked?”

Trey frowned. “That’s not fair to you.”

“No, it’s not,” you agreed quietly, setting the cup down. “But it’s what’s expected, isn’t it? Someone has to keep things running smoothly.”

He reached out, gently taking your hand in his. His fingers were warm, steady—a stark contrast to the coldness you felt creeping into your bones.

“You don’t have to do it alone, you know,” he said, his thumb brushing over your knuckles. “You can ask for help.”

You shook your head, the weight of his kindness almost unbearable. “And burden everyone else? I don’t want to be a problem.”

Trey’s grip on your hand tightened slightly. “You’re not a problem. You’re important. To all of us.”

You looked up, meeting his gaze for the first time that night, and the sincerity in his eyes nearly broke you. He meant it. He really meant it.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered, tears welling up in your eyes. “I’ve just been so tired, Trey. I don’t know how much more I can take.”

He stood then, moving around the table to pull you into a gentle hug, his arms wrapping around you with a quiet strength that made you feel safe—really safe—for the first time in weeks.

“It’s okay,” he murmured, resting his chin on top of your head. “I’ve got you.”

Cater Diamond:

Cater was all smiles and sunshine. That’s what people saw. But he noticed things—small things, cracks in people’s facades. He was an expert at it because he had so many cracks of his own.

So, when he saw you dragging yourself through the day, your usual nervous energy replaced by something much darker, much heavier, he didn’t ignore it.

“Hey! Let’s take a selfie!” he chirped, pulling out his phone as he bounced over to you.

You blinked, staring at him like you hadn’t heard a word. “I’m not in the mood, Cater.”

Cater paused, lowering his phone. That was definitely not like you. Normally, even if you were frazzled, you’d humor him. You always did.

“You sure?” he asked, tilting his head as he scrutinized your face. “You’re looking kinda down, you know.”

You sighed, rubbing at your eyes. “I’m just… tired, Cater. I’m really tired."

Cater dropped the playful act immediately, his smile fading as he tucked his phone away. “You wanna talk about it?”

You shook your head. “No one wants to hear me complain.”

“Come on, don’t be like that,” he said, sitting down next to you, his tone uncharacteristically soft. “I’m here for you, okay? What’s up?”

You hesitated, biting your lip as the weight of everything threatened to crash down on you. “It’s just… everything. No one listens. No one notices. I do all this work, and no one cares. It’s like I’m invisible.”

Cater frowned, reaching out to place a hand on your shoulder. “Hey, that’s not true. We care. I care.”

You shook your head, tears stinging your eyes. “Do you? Do any of you? Or am I just the White Rabbit, always running around, doing everyone’s bidding, never being heard?”

Cater’s heart ached at the pain in your voice. He’d been so wrapped up in his own facade, his own distractions, that he hadn’t realized just how much you were hurting.

“I’m sorry,” he said quietly, his usual playful tone replaced with sincerity. “I should’ve noticed. I should’ve asked sooner.”

You sniffled, wiping at your eyes as you tried to hold yourself together. “It’s not your fault. I just… I don’t know how much more of this I can take.”

Cater pulled you into a tight hug, resting his chin on your shoulder as he whispered, “You’re not alone, okay? You’ve got me. You’ve got all of us."

Ace Trappola:

Ace wasn’t exactly the most sensitive person in the world, but even he wasn’t oblivious to the way you had been acting lately. You were quieter than usual, more withdrawn. It wasn’t like you at all.

“Yo, what’s up with you?” Ace asked as he plopped down next to you in the courtyard, his usual smirk in place. “You’ve been acting super weird lately.”

You didn’t even look up from your book. “I’m fine.”

Ace narrowed his eyes. “Nah, you’re not. You

Ace narrowed his eyes. “Nah, you’re not. You’re like, super off. What’s going on? You never act like this.”

You finally looked up from your book, your expression weary and drained, like someone who had been running for far too long. “I’m just… tired, Ace.”

“Tired?” He scoffed, nudging your shoulder. “We all get tired, but you look like you’re about to keel over.”

You sighed, closing the book and turning to face him. “It’s not that kind of tired. It’s the kind of tired where you’ve been working non-stop, doing everything everyone asks of you, and no one ever bothers to ask if you need help.”

Ace blinked, clearly taken aback by your bluntness. He opened his mouth, then closed it, frowning as if he didn’t quite know how to respond. “Wait, is this about all the stuff we’ve been asking you to do? ‘Cause I didn’t think—”

“That’s the problem, Ace,” you interrupted, voice tight with frustration. “No one ever thinks. You all just assume I’ll do it, and I do, because I don’t want to let anyone down. But I’m tired. I’m so tired.”

He shifted awkwardly, scratching the back of his neck. “Look, I… I didn’t realize it was that bad. I just figured you liked doing stuff like that—keeping busy, you know?”

You let out a humorless laugh. “Liked it? I do it because I don’t have a choice. You all ask, and I say yes because that’s what’s expected of me. But no one ever asks if I’m okay, or if I need a break.”

Ace’s smirk was gone now, replaced with an uncharacteristic seriousness. He didn’t like feeling guilty—he hated it, in fact—but there was no denying the weight of your words.

“...Damn,” he muttered, looking away. “I didn’t know. I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t mean to… you know, pile all that stuff on you.”

You slumped back against the bench, the exhaustion finally catching up with you. “It’s not just you. It’s everyone. But I appreciate the apology.”

Ace was quiet for a moment before he nudged you again, a little gentler this time. “Hey, listen. I’m not exactly good at this whole feelings thing, but… you don’t have to do all this alone, okay? Next time you’re feeling burnt out, just say something. I’m not completely heartless, you know.”

A small smile tugged at the corner of your lips. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

“Good,” Ace said with a grin, his usual cocky tone returning. “And don’t worry, I’ll be the first to jump in and tell everyone to back off. I got your back.”

For the first time in a while, you felt a little lighter. “Thanks, Ace.”

Deuce Spade:

Deuce always noticed when something was off, especially when it came to people he cared about. So when you started acting distant, quieter than usual, it didn’t take long for him to pick up on it.

He found you one afternoon sitting by the fountain, staring blankly at the water. You didn’t even notice when he approached, lost in your own thoughts.

“Hey,” Deuce said softly, sitting down beside you. “You okay?”

You blinked, looking over at him like you hadn’t even realized he was there. “Oh. Deuce. Yeah, I’m fine.”

He frowned, not buying it for a second. “You don’t look fine. You’ve been really quiet lately.”

You sighed, rubbing your temples. “I’m just… tired. It’s been a lot.”

Deuce tilted his head, his concern growing. “A lot of what?”

You hesitated, unsure if you should even bother explaining. But then again, Deuce wasn’t like the others. He wasn’t someone who would brush you off or tease you for feeling overwhelmed.

“It’s just… everything,” you finally admitted, your voice barely above a whisper. “All the tasks, the work, the pressure. It’s like no one ever stops to think about how much I have on my plate. I keep doing everything they ask because I don’t want to let anyone down, but I’m at my limit.”

Deuce’s frown deepened. He had always admired your work ethic, your ability to handle so much without complaint. But now, seeing you like this—so drained, so worn out—it hurt him in a way he hadn’t expected.

“I didn’t know it was that bad,” he said quietly, his voice laced with guilt. “Why didn’t you say something?”

You shook your head, your eyes cast down. “Would anyone have listened?”

Deuce was silent for a moment, his jaw clenched as he processed your words. He hated that you had been carrying this burden alone, that you felt like no one cared enough to notice. He wasn’t good with words, but he wasn’t going to let you suffer in silence anymore.

“I’m sorry,” he said, his voice firm but gentle. “I should’ve noticed. I should’ve done something sooner.”

You glanced up at him, surprised by the intensity in his eyes. “It’s not your fault, Deuce. I just… I didn’t want to be a burden.”

“You’re not a burden,” Deuce said, his tone resolute. “You’re one of the strongest people I know. But even strong people need help sometimes.”

The sincerity in his voice made your chest tighten, and for the first time in weeks, you felt the weight on your shoulders lighten just a little.

Deuce reached out, gently taking your hand in his. “You don’t have to do this alone. I’ll help you, okay? Whatever you need, just say the word.”

You squeezed his hand, your heart swelling with gratitude. “Thank you, Deuce.”

He smiled, a soft, reassuring smile that made you feel like maybe—just maybe—you weren’t as alone as you thought.

And in that moment, sitting by the fountain with Deuce by your side, you finally felt like you could breathe again.

Leona Kingscholar:

Leona was lounging in his usual spot in the botanical garden, eyes half-lidded as he observed you marching around like some overworked servant. It had been days since your overblot, but not much had changed for you. The requests from students, the impossible deadlines from professors, the teasing from those who had the nerve to think your meekness made you an easy target—it was all still there. But now, there was something else in you too: a biting cynicism that wasn’t there before.

And Leona noticed.

“You’re looking different these days, Herbivore,” Leona drawled from his spot, smirking when you paused to look at him. “I like it. That whole ‘cynical, done-with-everyone’s-bullshit’ vibe suits you.”

You scoffed, shaking your head and trying to ignore him. “Yeah, well. I guess you could say I’ve had a change in perspective.”

Leona raised a brow, sitting up slightly. “About time. You were way too nice, always letting people walk all over you. This version of you? It’s more interesting.”

You should’ve been fine with his words. Normally, you would’ve brushed it off, even if the new cynicism was a product of your exhaustion and burnout. But hearing Leona praise you for being this way, like the months of silent suffering were a badge of honor—it was too much.

You dropped your books and spun around, the words spilling out before you could stop yourself. “Interesting?! You think this is interesting? I’ve been running myself into the ground, doing everything everyone asks of me because I’m too tired to say no. I’m burned out, Leona. I’m not ‘more interesting,’ I’m barely holding it together!”

Your voice broke at the end, and before you knew it, you were trembling. All the stress, all the exhaustion, it came pouring out in one unguarded moment.

Leona blinked, taken aback by your outburst. He hadn’t expected you to break down like this. Slowly, he stood up from his spot and approached you, his usual lazy expression replaced by something more serious.

“Hey,” he said, his voice lower now, gentler. “I didn’t mean it like that.”

You tried to hold back the tears, but it was too late. Your whole body was shaking with the weight of everything you’d been carrying, and the stress of it all finally crashed over you like a wave. You covered your face with your hands, overwhelmed and embarrassed.

“I can’t do this anymore,” you whispered, your voice barely audible.

Leona sighed, running a hand through his hair as he stood there awkwardly for a moment. Comforting people wasn’t exactly his strong suit, but seeing you like this—it stirred something in him.

“Alright, alright, come here,” he muttered, pulling you into a loose hug, his arms warm and strong around you. “You don’t gotta keep doing everything, you know? I know I give you a hard time, but even I don’t think you should burn out like this.”

You hesitated, but then let yourself lean into him, your tears soaking into his shirt as you tried to calm down.

“I just… I don’t know how to stop,” you whispered.

Leona sighed again, holding you a little tighter. “Then maybe it’s time to start saying no. And if people give you grief, send ‘em my way. I’ll take care of it.”

You let out a shaky laugh, the absurdity of Leona offering to help in his own gruff way almost making you feel a little better. Almost.

“Thanks,” you mumbled, your voice still small but a little more steady. “I… I needed that.”

He didn’t respond, just held you a little longer until your breathing finally evened out. And though he didn’t say it, you could tell—despite his teasing, despite his indifference—Leona wasn’t about to let you crumble under the pressure. Not on his watch.

Ruggie Bucchi:

Ruggie had always been good at picking up on little details. As someone who thrived on reading people, it wasn’t hard for him to notice that something was up with you. The way you dragged your feet through the halls, the forced smile you’d plaster on whenever someone asked you for a favor—it wasn’t hard to tell you were burning out.

“Oi, you look like you’ve been run over by a stampede,” Ruggie commented, popping up beside you in the cafeteria one afternoon. He snatched a bite of your sandwich before you could react, grinning when you barely even protested. “What’s up with you? You’re usually a little more, I dunno, lively.”

You glanced at him, too tired to even scold him for stealing your food. “I’m just tired, Ruggie. Really tired.”

Ruggie raised a brow, his grin faltering a little. “Tired? Like, you haven’t slept? Or tired like ‘I’m about to drop dead from all the stuff I’ve been doing for other people’ tired?”

You gave him a look, and he immediately understood. “Ahh, the second one, huh? That’s rough, man.”

You sighed, pushing your tray away. “It’s just… it’s a lot. I keep doing everything everyone asks, and no one ever stops to think that maybe I need a break. I don’t know how much longer I can keep this up.”

Ruggie frowned, his usual mischievous expression softening. He wasn’t one for heartfelt speeches, but he knew what it was like to be overworked and overlooked. He had spent most of his life like that, after all.

“Hey, look, you don’t gotta do everything, y’know?” he said, leaning back in his chair. “People here? They’ll keep asking as long as you keep saying yes. But if you’re feeling wiped, maybe it’s time to start saying no. You’re not a machine.”

You let out a humorless laugh. “Easier said than done.”

Ruggie shrugged, snatching another bite of your food before giving you a playful grin. “Well, if it helps, I’ll start saying no for you. Anyone bothers you, just send ‘em my way. I can be real convincing when I wanna be.”

You smiled, a small, genuine one this time. “Thanks, Ruggie.”

“No problem,” he said, his grin widening. “And hey, don’t stress. I’ve got your back.”

Jack Howl:

Jack had always been observant, especially when it came to his friends. So when you started acting different—quieter, more withdrawn—it didn’t take long for him to notice. He wasn’t the type to pry, but he couldn’t just stand by and do nothing.

One afternoon, he found you sitting outside the gym, your head in your hands. He approached cautiously, not wanting to startle you.

“Hey,” he said, his voice soft but firm. “You okay?”

You looked up, surprised to see him. “Oh, Jack. Yeah, I’m fine.”

He frowned, his golden eyes narrowing. “You don’t look fine.”

You sighed, leaning back against the wall. “I’m just… tired. It’s been a lot.”

Jack sat down beside you, his posture straight and steady. “A lot of what?”

You hesitated, but something about Jack’s calm presence made it easier to open up. “Everything. School, work, everyone asking me for favors. It’s like no one ever thinks I might need a break. I just… I don’t know how to keep up.”

Jack was quiet for a moment, his expression thoughtful. He had always admired your work ethic, but seeing you so worn out—it didn’t sit right with him.

“You don’t have to do it all alone, you know,” Jack said, his voice steady. “You’ve always been there for everyone else. Let me be there for you this time.”

You blinked, surprised by his words. Jack wasn’t usually one for grand gestures, but his sincerity was unmistakable.

“I don’t want to be a burden,” you murmured.

“You’re not a burden,” Jack said firmly, his eyes meeting yours. “You’re one of the strongest people I know. But even the strongest need help sometimes.”

The weight of his words hit you, and for the first time in days, you felt like you didn’t have to carry everything alone.

“Thanks, Jack,” you said softly, your heart feeling a little lighter.

He nodded, his usual serious expression softening into a small, reassuring smile. “Anytime.”

Azul Ashengrotto:

Azul was a businessman at heart, sharp-eyed and always aware of people’s shifts in demeanor. He had noticed, of course, that your usually skittish nature had dulled over the past few weeks. At first, he’d dismissed it as another bout of anxiety, something he could handle with a few soft words or requests framed as favors. But now, after your overblot, he couldn’t ignore the change.

The sharp edge of your exhaustion was a palpable thing.

He found you in the library, surrounded by textbooks, scribbling notes with a frenetic energy that felt more like desperation than focus. He watched you for a moment, eyes narrowing behind his glasses as he adjusted them.

“Ah, there you are,” he said smoothly, striding over to you. “I’ve been meaning to discuss our little arrangement. It seems you haven’t fulfilled your duties as of late.”

You didn’t even look up. “Not now, Azul.”

Azul blinked. That was… new. Usually, your nervousness kicked in the moment you even thought you’d disappointed him. Now? Nothing. Just tired resignation.

He sat down across from you, leaning forward. “You seem… different, lately.”

You sighed, setting your pen down with a shaky hand. “Yeah. I guess I am.”

Azul’s confidence faltered. “You’re… not going to elaborate?”

Finally, you met his eyes. “What do you want me to say, Azul? That I’m fine? That everything is just peachy? Because it’s not. I’m tired. And not in the ‘oh, I need a nap’ way. In the ‘I don’t know how to keep going’ way.”

His brows furrowed. That wasn’t what he expected. Azul wasn’t always the best at handling raw emotion, especially when it wasn’t something he could exploit or fix with a contract. But for some reason, hearing you say that struck a chord in him he didn’t often feel.

“Have you… considered taking a break?” he offered, almost hesitant.

You laughed, a bitter sound that made his stomach twist uncomfortably. “A break? When? Between the assignments, the favors, the expectations? When would I possibly have time for that?”

Azul was silent, watching the weight of your words settle in the air between you. For once, he didn’t have a calculated response. He didn’t know what to say to someone who was clearly at the end of their rope.

After a moment, he placed his hands on the table, fingers lacing together. “Perhaps I’ve asked too much of you. I… didn’t realize the extent.”

You shook your head, eyes distant. “It’s not just you, Azul. It’s everything.”

And for the first time, Azul didn’t know how to respond with anything but quiet understanding.

Jade Leech:

Jade had always been observant. His eyes tracked your movements from the moment you entered the lounge, slower, more deliberate than usual. Your once-anxious energy had dulled into something colder, more cynical. There was no hesitation in your step now, but there was no spark either.

He approached you, ever the gentleman, with a soft smile. “Ah, Prefect, it’s good to see you. I hope you’re not overworking yourself.”

You gave him a look, flat and unimpressed. “Funny.”

Jade raised an eyebrow at your tone. “I was being sincere.”

“Yeah, sure.” You walked past him, barely acknowledging his presence. Jade felt something akin to amusement, though there was an edge of concern to it. He followed after you, steps as smooth as ever.

“I must say, your demeanor has changed since the… incident.”

You turned to face him, crossing your arms. “You mean the overblot? Yeah, I guess that’ll change a person.”

Jade’s eyes gleamed with curiosity. “You seem less… timid.”

“Maybe I’m just tired of being scared,” you muttered, rubbing the back of your neck. “It’s exhausting.”

Jade tilted his head, studying you with a quiet intensity. “I see. And this exhaustion—how do you plan to handle it?”

You let out a sharp laugh, devoid of humor. “Handle it? I don’t know, Jade. How do you handle it when you’re expected to do everything and still be okay?”

He paused, not expecting such bluntness from you. His smile softened just a fraction. “Perhaps you should give yourself permission to fail once in a while.”

You looked at him, surprised by the sincerity in his tone. Jade rarely dropped his formal, polite mask, but there was something almost… genuine in his suggestion. For once, he wasn’t teasing or testing you. He was offering something that felt like understanding.

“I’ll try,” you said softly, feeling a lump in your throat. “I’ll try.”

Floyd Leech:

Floyd had always loved messing with you. You were jumpy, reactive, and so easy to fluster. It was fun, in the way that poking at a small, defenseless animal was fun to a predator. But now? Now you didn’t react at all.

He leaned over your shoulder one day in the cafeteria, poking your cheek. “Heyyyy, Rabbity, whatcha doin’? You’re not runnin’ away from me today?”

You barely spared him a glance. “Not today, Floyd.”

Floyd blinked, frowning at your monotone response. Usually, you’d stammer, scurry away, or at least give him something fun to work with. Now? Nothing.

“What’s wrong with you? You’re no fun anymore.” He flopped down beside you, pouting dramatically. “You’re always so serious now.”

You sighed, not even looking up from your food. “Maybe I’m tired of being the punchline, Floyd.”

That made him pause. He tilted his head, eyes narrowing. “Huh?”

“I said,” you turned to face him, eyes weary and tired, “I’m tired, Floyd. I’m tired of always being the one everyone messes with. I’m tired of being everyone’s joke.”

Floyd’s pout deepened, but now there was confusion in his eyes. “I didn’t mean it like that… It’s just fun, y’know?”

“Well, it’s not fun for me anymore,” you said quietly, turning back to your food.

Floyd didn’t say anything for a long moment, his usual mischievous energy fizzling out. He wasn’t good at dealing with… feelings. But something about the way you looked—so small, so tired—made his chest feel tight in a way he didn’t like.

He leaned back, crossing his arms. “You’re no fun when you’re all sad like this.”

You snorted softly. “Yeah, well. Life isn’t always fun.”

Floyd stayed silent for a while, the frown still on his face. Then, suddenly, he draped his arm around your shoulders, pulling you into his side. “Don’t get all boring on me, okay? I like it when Shrimpy’s feisty.”

You couldn’t help but chuckle, just a little. It was a weak sound, but it was something. Floyd grinned at that, squeezing you tighter.

“See? There’s the Rabbity I like.”

Kalim Al-Asim

Kalim had always been sunshine, too bright for his own good. He’d been one of the few who never seemed to notice how much the constant pressure was getting to you. His joy and excitement for life often overshadowed the quieter struggles of those around him, including you.

After your overblot, Kalim’s usual exuberance had dimmed. He’d been visibly shaken, his bright smile faltering when he saw you again. He greeted you with his usual enthusiasm, but there was a tremor of uncertainty in his voice.

“Hey! How are you feeling? Do you want to have a party? To celebrate you feeling better?”

You glanced up at him, eyes hollow. “I’m fine, Kalim.”

He tilted his head, concerned. “Are you sure? You don’t sound fine. Maybe some music and dancing will cheer you up!”

Normally, his carefree energy might’ve been endearing, but today it grated on your nerves. You shook your head, feeling the weight of your exhaustion press down harder. “I’m tired, Kalim.”

His smile wavered. “Oh… well, we can have a quiet party then! Just you, me, and Jamil. We don’t even have to dance if you don’t want to.”

You sighed, finally looking at him, and the moment he saw the weariness in your eyes, his face fell. The ever-bubbly Kalim looked… lost.

“Kalim,” you said, rubbing your temples, “I’m tired. Really tired. And it’s not the kind of tired that a party can fix.”

Kalim’s eyes widened. “Oh… I didn’t realize you were that tired.” He shifted, fidgeting with his bracelets. “I don’t like seeing you like this. You’re always working so hard, and I thought maybe I could make you smile...”

Your heart clenched at the sincerity in his voice. Kalim, for all his obliviousness, genuinely cared. His way of expressing it might have been overwhelming, but there was no doubt that his concern was real.

“I appreciate it,” you said softly, giving him a small, tired smile. “But right now, I just need to rest.”

Kalim’s shoulders slumped, but he nodded. “Okay, no party then. Just… let me know if there’s anything I can do to help, alright?”

You reached out, placing a hand on his arm. “Thank you, Kalim.”

He smiled again, softer this time, but still as warm as ever. “Anything for you.”

Jamil Viper:

Jamil was observant—painfully so. Unlike Kalim, he’d seen the signs of your burnout long before you reached the point of overblotting. But Jamil, being Jamil, hadn’t stepped in. Not because he didn’t care, but because he knew what it was like to carry the weight of responsibilities without complaint. In his eyes, everyone had their burdens to bear.

Still, seeing you now, after everything, was unsettling.

You were in Scarabia, helping Kalim with some menial task that Jamil knew could’ve been handled by literally anyone else. Your once jittery energy had dulled to something almost robotic, and Jamil couldn’t shake the feeling that something was very wrong.

He approached you cautiously, arms crossed. “You’ve been quieter than usual.”

You didn’t look up from your work. “Just tired.”

Jamil’s eyes narrowed. “You’ve been ‘just tired’ for a while now.”

You sighed, finally pausing and turning to face him. “I overblotted, Jamil. What do you expect?”

He didn’t flinch at your words, but the tension in the air thickened. Jamil had always been blunt, but seeing you like this stirred something in him that he didn’t quite like.

“Overblot or not, you’re still here, doing things that aren’t your responsibility,” he said, voice flat. “Why?”

“Because if I don’t, who will?” you snapped, the bitterness in your voice surprising even yourself. You were sick of it. Sick of doing everything and being noticed for nothing. “Everyone expects me to keep going, so I keep going.”

Jamil’s expression remained impassive, but there was a flicker of something in his eyes—guilt, perhaps. He had been part of that cycle, hadn’t he? Always asking, always expecting, never really considering how much you were carrying on your own.

After a moment, he sighed, his voice softer than usual. “You don’t have to keep going like this, you know.”

You blinked, surprised by the sudden gentleness in his tone. “What?”

“You don’t have to be everything to everyone,” Jamil continued, glancing away for a moment before meeting your eyes again. “I know what it’s like to feel like you’re trapped in expectations, but… burning yourself out won’t fix anything.”

For a moment, you were silent, the weight of his words settling over you. It wasn’t like Jamil to be so direct about emotions—at least, not with you. He always kept a safe distance, but now, he was offering something more genuine.

You let out a breath you didn’t realize you’d been holding. “I don’t know how to stop.”

Jamil’s gaze softened, just slightly. “You’re not alone in this. You have people who care. You don’t have to carry it all by yourself.”

It wasn’t much, but it was enough to crack the walls you’d built around yourself. The exhaustion, the stress, it all felt a little lighter in that moment.

“Thanks, Jamil,” you said quietly, giving him a tired smile.

Jamil gave a small nod, his usual stoicism returning. “Just… try not to overwork yourself again. I have enough on my plate with Kalim.”

You chuckled, the sound weak but genuine. “I’ll try.”

Vil Schoenheit:

Vil had always been a stickler for perfection. His eyes caught every flaw, every imperfection, even the ones that others didn’t notice—or couldn’t care about. So, it was no surprise when he caught you slouching, your hair slightly disheveled, and your usual anxious attention to detail completely absent.

You were exhausted—burnt out to the point where nothing seemed to matter anymore.

Vil clicked his tongue in disapproval as he crossed his arms. “You’ve really let yourself go, haven’t you?”

His tone was sharp, but the comment barely made a dent in your shell of apathy. You just blinked up at him, too tired to even flinch at the judgment.

“Yeah,” you muttered, barely audible. “I guess I have.”

Vil’s violet eyes narrowed, and he placed a perfectly manicured hand on his hip. “This isn’t like you. The White Rabbit I know was always meticulous, even when the rest of you was a mess.”

The words echoed in the air, but you didn’t respond. You knew he wasn’t wrong. The old you would’ve scrambled to fix your appearance, to make sure you lived up to Vil’s impossible standards. But now, you felt too tired to care. What did it matter?

Vil’s frown deepened as he studied you, and something flickered in his gaze—something like concern. “You’re not even going to argue?” he asked, voice softer than before.

You shrugged, staring at your hands. “What’s the point?”

For a moment, there was silence. Vil wasn’t used to this—this version of you that didn’t rise to meet his expectations or bristle under his critiques. The fire that once kept you moving, always trying to prove yourself, was gone.

And it scared him.

Vil stepped closer, his sharpness fading as he crouched slightly to meet your gaze. “What’s going on with you?”

You finally looked up at him, your eyes hollow and tired. “I’m just… tired, Vil. I don’t care anymore. About any of it.”

His eyes widened slightly, and for a moment, the perfect image of Vil Schoenheit cracked. He saw the depth of your exhaustion—the weight you’d been carrying for so long. He realized, maybe for the first time, that your relentless need to keep up with him had finally broken you.

Without a word, he reached out, placing a hand on your shoulder, his touch uncharacteristically gentle. “You don’t have to keep doing this. Not for me, not for anyone.”

You swallowed hard, the lump in your throat growing as the apathy began to crumble. Tears welled up in your eyes, and you shook your head. “But if I don’t, who will?”

Vil’s expression softened in a way that you rarely saw. “I’m not asking for perfection. Not from you.” He paused, squeezing your shoulder lightly. “I just want you to be okay.”

That was it. The dam broke, and tears streamed down your face as you finally let go of the weight you’d been carrying. Vil didn’t say anything more, just stayed by your side, offering a silent presence as you let yourself fall apart.

Rook Hunt:

Rook Hunt was, in every way, overwhelming. His poetic flair, his dramatic declarations of admiration, and his constant observations—usually about things you wished he wouldn’t notice—had been a source of both irritation and amusement in your life. But now, you found yourself unable to muster even the faintest reaction to his eccentricity.

He had been watching you, of course. Rook always noticed everything, and this time was no different. He approached you with a grin, as though he had a secret only the two of you would understand.

“Mon lapin! You seem to have taken on a new air of mystery, how delightful!” His voice was filled with excitement, expecting a reaction—your usual nervous laughter or maybe a shy protest.

But instead, you just stared blankly at him. “Yeah. Sure, Rook.”

For a brief second, his smile faltered, his eyes scanning your face carefully. You weren’t biting back, weren’t stammering nervously or trying to evade his intense gaze. You were just… blank.

“Something is amiss, non?” His voice softened, a rare gentleness creeping in as he knelt beside you, lowering himself to your eye level. “You’re not yourself today, mon ami.”

You sighed, your shoulders slumping. “I don’t know if I even know who that is anymore.”

Rook tilted his head, his usual theatrics fading. “Ah, you are weary… far too weary for someone so full of life.” His words were soft, his voice no longer teasing but understanding.

“I’m just… tired, Rook. Of everything.” You rubbed your face, trying to shake off the numbness, but it clung to you like a second skin.

Rook, for once, didn’t offer a poetic response or some elaborate metaphor. Instead, he reached out and gently took your hand, his thumb brushing against your knuckles in a quiet gesture of comfort. “You don’t need to explain,” he said, his voice uncharacteristically quiet. “But you don’t have to carry it alone, either.”

Something in his words broke through the wall you’d built around yourself, and you looked at him, your eyes burning with unshed tears. “I don’t know what to do, Rook. I’m so tired.”

Rook’s expression softened even further, and he smiled, a tender, genuine smile that made your heart ache. “Then rest. You are not a failure for needing time, mon lapin. Even the moon takes its time to rise.”

The tears finally spilled over, and Rook pulled you into a gentle embrace, his arms wrapping around you in a way that felt both comforting and protective. “You are not alone,” he whispered. “Not while I am here.”

Epel Felmier:

Epel had always admired your resilience. To him, you were someone who, despite being shy and quiet, had a certain strength that he respected. But lately, he noticed that something was different. You weren’t reacting the way you used to. You weren’t as anxious or jumpy, but… you weren’t really you either.

One afternoon, Epel found you sitting in the courtyard, staring blankly at the sky. He approached with a grin, his usual proud, determined expression in place. “You’re not lettin’ anyone push ya around anymore, huh? I’m proud of ya for that."

You glanced at him, managing a weak smile. “Yeah, I guess.”

Epel sat down next to you, his smile fading as he looked at you more closely. “But... somethin’ ain’t right, is it?”

You exhaled slowly, leaning back against the bench. “I’m just… tired, Epel. I don’t know how to keep going.”

Epel frowned, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees. “Tired? What do ya mean? You’re always so… strong.”

You chuckled bitterly, shaking your head. “I don’t feel strong. I feel like I’m falling apart.”

Epel’s frown deepened, and he scratched the back of his neck, clearly uncomfortable but trying his best to understand. “I get it, kinda. You’ve been workin’ hard, probably too hard.” He paused, glancing at you with concern. “You don’t have to be tough all the time, ya know. It’s okay to ask for help.”

You smiled sadly at him. “I don’t even know how to do that.”

Epel shifted closer, his usual rough-and-tumble demeanor softening. “Well, ya don’t have to do it alone. We’re friends, right? So, if ya need me, I’m here. Even if it’s just to sit with ya.”

For the first time in a while, you felt a flicker of warmth. Epel wasn’t the most eloquent, but his words carried a sincerity that hit you in all

Idia Shroud:

You hadn’t meant to snap at Idia. Honestly, you didn’t. But everything had been building for so long, like a pressure cooker about to blow, and when he made the comment—one that should have been harmless—it all came crashing down.

“Uh… you’re kinda different lately,” Idia had muttered, his eyes glued to his tablet as usual. His tone wasn’t accusatory, more like an observation, but the words felt like a match thrown onto the pile of kindling that had been building inside you.

Different? Was that what he thought? As if you had just woken up one day and decided to be different. As if all the stress, all the constant work and the endless expectations hadn’t eaten away at you until there was nothing left.

Your chest tightened, and before you could stop yourself, you snapped.

“Of course, I’m different! Do you think I want to be like this? That I’m enjoying any of this?” The words tumbled out, sharp and cutting, and you could see Idia flinch slightly, his usual wide-eyed, panicked expression flickering across his face.

He shrunk further into his hoodie, his hair dimming a little at your outburst. “I-I didn’t mean it like that. I just—”

“You just what?” you interrupted, your voice trembling with the weight of frustration and exhaustion. “You think it’s fun being constantly overwhelmed? Do you think I like the fact that I don’t even recognize myself anymore?”

Idia blinked, his hair now a dull, nervous blue as he fumbled with the edges of his sleeves. “N-No, I—sorry. I didn’t realize—”

The sight of him looking so rattled, so unsure, finally made you pause. Your anger began to fade, replaced by a wave of guilt. He wasn’t trying to upset you—he was just being his usual, awkward self. You sighed heavily, running a hand through your hair as you sank onto a nearby chair.

“I’m sorry,” you muttered, staring at the ground. “I didn’t mean to yell. I’m just… tired.”

Idia glanced up at you, his hair flickering back to a soft blue. “No, I get it. I mean… I don’t get it get it, but… I can see you’ve been stressed. I didn’t mean to make it worse.”

You looked up at him, the frustration and exhaustion still simmering under the surface but no longer directed at him. “I just… I feel like I’m falling apart, and I don’t know how to stop it.”

Idia shifted uncomfortably, clearly out of his depth when it came to emotional stuff. But he nodded, his fingers tapping nervously on his tablet. “That… sounds like a total nightmare, honestly. If you wanna talk or, like, not talk… I can just sit here. No pressure.”

You smiled weakly at him, grateful for the gesture even though you knew talking wouldn’t fix everything. Still, the offer meant something, especially coming from someone like Idia, who was as socially awkward as they came. “Thanks, Idia.”

He nodded quickly, his hair flickering brighter. “Yeah, no prob.”

Ortho Shroud:

Ortho was a bright little ball of sunshine, a constant source of cheerfulness that sometimes felt like too much when you were in the state you were now. But he was also hard to ignore, especially when he zoomed over to greet you, his cheerful voice ringing out the second he spotted you.

"Hi! How are you doing today? Is there anything I can help you with?” Ortho’s voice was filled with such eager energy that it almost made you wince.

Normally, his enthusiasm would have been endearing, but today, it was just too much. You forced a tired smile. “I’m fine, Ortho. Just… tired.”

His sensors seemed to pick up on your low energy, and he tilted his head, his mechanical eyes glowing softly. “You don’t seem fine. Maybe you need some rest! Or maybe I could get you something to eat, or—”

“Ortho,” you interrupted, rubbing your temple as a wave of exhaustion hit you. “I just… I just want to be left alone for a little while, okay?”

There was a pause as Ortho processed your request. His cheerful smile faltered for a moment, and his eyes dimmed slightly, but then he nodded, his voice softening. “Okay, if that’s what you want.”

You almost regretted snapping at him, but to his credit, Ortho didn’t push. Instead, he hovered nearby, his presence quiet but still there, like a little brother who didn’t want to leave your side even when you asked for space. He wasn’t overbearing—just a silent, watchful figure in the background, making sure you were okay.

After a few minutes, you glanced at him. He was still there, his eyes watching you with concern, but he hadn’t said a word since you asked to be alone.

A small, tired smile tugged at your lips. “You can stay, you know. Just… maybe tone it down a little.”

Ortho’s eyes brightened, and he floated a little closer, his voice quiet and soft now. “I’ll be here if you need anything.”

Despite your exhaustion, you found comfort in Ortho’s presence. He wasn’t pushy or demanding—just there, offering quiet support. And for now, that was enough.

Malleus Draconia:

Malleus had a way of appearing at the most unexpected times. One moment you were alone, wallowing in your overwhelming responsibilities, and the next, he was there, his presence like a calm, steady force that momentarily took the weight off your shoulders.

"You have a heavy burden," he said softly, his glowing eyes watching you with concern.

You let out a hollow laugh, shaking your head. "I don't have a choice, Malleus. I have to do it all. There's no one else."

He was silent for a moment, his expression thoughtful, before he spoke again, his voice gentle but firm. "You always have a choice."

His words struck you, and you looked up at him, tired and skeptical. "What choice do I have, really? If I don’t do it, who will?"

Malleus stepped closer, his large hand reaching out to gently take yours. The warmth of his touch was comforting, grounding. "I will help you," he said, his voice steady, full of promise. "You do not have to carry this burden alone. I would be honored if you would share it with me."

The sincerity in his words broke something inside of you, and you felt a lump rise in your throat. You hadn’t realized how much you needed to hear that, how much you needed someone to acknowledge your struggle and offer their support. Tears welled up in your eyes, and you tried to blink them away, but it was no use.

Malleus gently pulled you into an embrace, his arms wrapping around you in a way that made you feel safe for the first time in what felt like forever. "I am here," he whispered. "Always."

You buried your face in his chest, letting the tears fall as you clung to him. For the first time in a long while, you didn’t feel so alone.

Lilia Vanrouge:

Lilia always seemed to know when something was wrong, even when you tried to hide it. He found you sitting alone, your shoulders slumped, your mind racing with thoughts of everything you still had to do. The old fae’s eyes softened as he approached, crouching down to your level.

“Ah, my little rabbit, it’s important not to lose yourself in all of this,” he said gently, his tone light but with a hint of seriousness. “You’ve been running yourself ragged.”

You sighed, feeling too tired to argue. “What choice do I have? It never stops.”

Lilia gave you a knowing smile, his eyes twinkling despite the concern behind them. “Even so, it’s vital to take care of yourself. If you get lost, who will be there to find you?”

You stared at him, your eyes stinging with unshed tears. You hadn’t realized how much you had lost yourself until now, how much you had forgotten who you were amidst the endless demands and expectations.

“I don’t know,” you whispered, your voice cracking slightly. “I don’t know how to find myself again.”

Lilia reached out, placing a hand on your shoulder. “You won’t have to do it alone. I’ll be there, whenever you need me. You’ve got someone who will always come looking for you, no matter how far you wander.”

The tears spilled over then, and Lilia gently pulled you into a hug, his arms surprisingly strong for his small frame. “Cry if you need to, little rabbit. It’s alright to be tired.”

You sobbed quietly into his shoulder, grateful for the comfort, for the promise that you weren’t completely lost.

Silver:

Silver was different from the others. He didn’t always have the right words, but his presence was comforting in its own way. You found him waiting for you one evening, his eyes calm and steady as always, and yet… there was a softness there that told you he understood more than he let on.

"You should rest," Silver said simply, his tone gentle but firm. "You’ve been pushing yourself too hard."

You wanted to argue, to tell him that you couldn’t afford to rest, but the words wouldn’t come. Instead, you just nodded, feeling a tear slip down your cheek.

Silver watched you for a moment, and then, in his quiet way, he stepped closer. "I can stand guard for you," he offered softly. "While you rest. No one will bother you."

Something about the offer made your heart ache, and you swallowed the lump in your throat. “Silver, you don’t have to—”

“I want to,” he interrupted, his voice gentle but resolute. “It’s okay to let someone else take over, even if it’s just for a little while.”

His words, so simple and sincere, broke the dam, and before you knew it, tears were streaming down your face. Silver, ever so calm, wrapped an arm around your shoulder, pulling you into a hug that was both protective and comforting.

“I’ll be here,” he murmured, his voice low and soothing. “You don’t have to do this alone.”

For the first time in days, you allowed yourself to lean on someone, feeling the exhaustion finally take over as you cried quietly into his chest.

Sebek Zigvolt:

Sebek was the last person you’d expect to understand. When he first saw you, looking worn out and drained, his immediate reaction was his usual loud, indignant self.

"Human! How could you let yourself become so... unkempt?!" Sebek had barked, his voice echoing in the corridor. "You have responsibilities! Standards to uphold!"

You barely reacted, your energy too drained to even muster a response. You just stood there, staring at him with tired, glassy eyes. Normally, you might have snapped back at him, might have told him off for being so overbearing. But today… you didn’t even have that in you.

Sebek stopped, his expression shifting as he took in your hollow look. For the first time, he seemed to realize that something was deeply wrong. His usual bluster faded, and his voice softened, though it still held that familiar Sebek intensity. “Are… are you alright?”

It was such a simple question, and yet it broke something inside of you. You shook your head, unable to hold back the tears any longer. “No. I’m not.”

Sebek’s eyes widened, and for a moment, he looked completely at a loss. But then, to your surprise, he stepped closer, his voice quieter than you’d ever heard it. “You… you should not bear this burden alone.”

You sniffed, wiping at your eyes with the back of your hand. “I don’t have a choice.”

Sebek hesitated, then awkwardly placed a hand on your shoulder, his touch surprisingly gentle for someone so loud. “You do. And you must let someone help you.”

You looked up at him, surprised by the sudden shift in his demeanor. Sebek, the loud and proud half-fae, was comforting you. And despite how awkward he was about it, you found it strangely reassuring.

“Thank you,” you whispered, your voice trembling with emotion.

Sebek’s grip tightened slightly, and he nodded, his eyes full of determination. “I will not let you falter.”

You smiled weakly through your tears, and before you knew it, Sebek had pulled you into a clumsy, but genuine hug. It wasn’t perfect, but it was enough. You held onto him, letting the tears flow, feeling a little less alone in the world.

And for the first time in a long while, you felt like maybe—just maybe—you didn’t have to carry everything by yourself.

Rollo Flamme:

Rollo’s sharp eyes caught you as you wandered through the dimly lit halls, your steps slow and heavy. His brow furrowed slightly, the ever-present judgmental edge in his voice as he approached.

“You’re not really alive anymore, are you?”

It was such a blunt statement, cutting straight through the haze of your exhaustion. For a moment, you stood there, frozen, unsure if you had even heard him correctly. Then, something inside you cracked. All at once, the weight of everything you had been carrying overwhelmed you, and you felt your knees buckle.

“I’m trying,” you whispered, your voice breaking. “I’m trying so hard, but… it’s never enough. I don’t know how much longer I can do this.”

You expected him to scoff, to make some cold remark about duty and responsibility. But instead, Rollo’s usually sharp expression softened. He hesitated for a moment, clearly unsure of how to proceed, but then—so awkwardly it almost startled you—he reached out and gently took your hand in his.

“I… didn’t mean to cause more distress,” he murmured, his voice uncharacteristically gentle. “You have been shouldering too much.”

The simple contact, the warmth of his hand in yours, sent a flood of emotion through you. Tears welled up in your eyes, and you squeezed his hand, your lip trembling. “I don’t know what to do anymore…”

Rollo’s grip tightened, a silent promise that he wouldn’t let you fall any further. “Then perhaps it’s time to stop trying to carry it all alone.”

Neige LeBlanche:

You hadn’t expected to run into Neige when you did—his usual bright demeanor an overwhelming contrast to the exhaustion you felt pressing down on your every move. When he saw you, his eyes widened with immediate concern.

“Oh no… have you been running yourself ragged?” Neige asked, his voice soft and full of sympathy.

You tried to smile, tried to brush it off like you always did. “It’s fine, really. I’m just… tired.”

But the moment you said it, you felt the tears rising again. The weight of everything you’d been trying to handle was too much, and now, in front of someone as kind and gentle as Neige, it was impossible to keep the façade up any longer.

Neige, sensing the shift in your mood, stepped closer, his expression full of worry. “You don’t have to do this alone, you know.” He gently took your arm, guiding you to sit on a nearby bench. “Come on, let’s rest for a bit.”

As soon as you sat down, the dam broke, and you buried your face in your hands, sobbing quietly. Neige didn’t say anything for a moment, but his presence was soothing, like a warm blanket on a cold day. Slowly, he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into a comforting hug.

“You’ve done so much already,” he whispered, his voice gentle. “You deserve to rest.”

The tears came faster, but this time, they felt like a release. Neige held you, stroking your hair softly as you cried into his shoulder. He didn’t try to fix everything or offer any grand solutions. He just stayed there, offering quiet comfort, and in that moment, it was exactly what you needed.

Che’nya

Che’nya’s grin was as wide as ever when he appeared beside you, hanging upside down from a tree branch like it was the most natural thing in the world. But there was something in his eyes as he looked at you, something that said he knew something was different.

“Well, well, well,” he teased, his voice lilting with amusement. “Looks like you’ve finally become like the rest of them—cynical and all that.”

His words were meant to be lighthearted, a joke, but they hit too close to home. You felt your breath hitch, the ache in your chest tightening. The teasing that once might have been playful now only highlighted the exhaustion, the bitterness you had tried to hide for so long.

“I… I didn’t want to become like this,” you whispered, your voice trembling. “I didn’t want to be so… tired.”

Che’nya blinked, his grin fading slightly as he flipped down from the branch to stand beside you. “Hey now… I didn’t mean to make you upset, little rabbit.”

But it was too late. The tears were already spilling down your cheeks, your body shaking with the weight of everything you had been holding in. You covered your face with your hands, embarrassed by how easily you had broken down.

Without a word, Che’nya crouched beside you, his playful demeanor slipping away as he gently touched your arm. “It’s alright, you know? You don’t have to hide it.”

You sniffled, wiping at your eyes with the back of your hand. “I’m just… I’m so tired of trying to keep up with everything.”

Che’nya gave a soft chuckle, but there was no teasing in it now. “That’s because you’re not supposed to do it all by yourself.”

Before you could say anything, he pulled you into a tight hug, his arms wrapping around you in a way that felt both comforting and protective. “You’re not alone, little rabbit. Not with me around.”

Grim:

Grim had been his usual self at first, bounding around and bragging about his latest escapades. But then he noticed how quiet you had been lately, how you didn’t respond to his antics with your usual snark. He had brushed it off at first, but the more he thought about it, the more it gnawed at him.

Finally, Grim came up to you, his tail flicking nervously as he tried to gauge your mood. “Hey… henchhuman. You’ve been actin’ real weird lately.”

You glanced at him, too tired to even muster a proper response. “I’m just tired, Grim.”

“Tired?” Grim huffed, crossing his little arms. “You’re always tired! But this is different, ain’t it?”

You didn’t say anything, and that’s when Grim’s expression shifted. He stepped closer, his eyes wide and full of concern. “Henchhuman… did I do somethin’? Did I make things worse?”

The sound of his worried voice, of Grim actually not being selfish for once, broke you. You had been holding it in for so long, trying to be strong, but now, with Grim looking at you with those big, worried eyes, you couldn’t hold back anymore. The tears came, fast and unstoppable, and you buried your face in your hands.

Grim panicked for a moment, unsure of what to do, but then he scrambled onto your lap, pressing his little head against your chest. “Hey, hey! Don’t cry! I didn’t mean to make ya upset!”

You sobbed harder, your hands shaking as you tried to get a hold of yourself. “I’m sorry, Grim. I’ve just… I’ve been so overwhelmed, and I didn’t want to bother you…”

“Bother me?” Grim scoffed, but there was no bite to his words. “You’re my henchhuman! If somethin’s wrong, you tell me, got it?”

You nodded, tears still streaming down your face as you hugged Grim tightly. He grumbled a little, but then he nuzzled against you, his small form warm and comforting in your arms. “I’m sorry I didn’t notice sooner,” he muttered. “But you’re gonna be okay. ‘Cause you’ve got me.”

Despite everything, you smiled through your tears. Grim wasn’t perfect, but in his own way, he was trying to help. And for now, that was enough.

Crowley:

"Ah, my ever-reliable little rabbit!" Crowley called from across the hallway, his cloak billowing dramatically behind him. He approached with his usual flourish, clearly in one of his grandiose moods. "I couldn't help but notice that your posture is rather… less upright than usual. No doubt due to your recent lack of respect and enthusiasm! You simply must—"

You barely looked up. Everything was gray. Crowley’s usual barrage of demands and flowery speeches washed over you like distant noise, and for the first time, you didn’t even flinch.

“I don’t care.”

The words came out before you could stop them, low and exhausted. You didn’t even bother to meet his eyes.

Crowley paused, blinking in confusion. “Pardon? Did you just—?” His voice faltered as he saw the deep bags under your eyes, the way your shoulders slumped, and how utterly defeated you looked. The bravado drained from his expression as he realized just how far he had pushed you.

“Oh… oh dear,” he stammered, clearly flustered. “I… I hadn’t realized you were feeling this way.” His hands flapped awkwardly, and he shifted on his feet, the image of a man utterly lost in uncharted waters. “Perhaps I’ve… overworked you. Just a smidge! But worry not! Crowley is here to—erm—assist! Yes, assist!”

You stared blankly at him. “I don’t need assistance. I need you to stop.”

Crowley’s face fell, and after a moment of visible panic, he hesitantly reached out, patting your shoulder in what he clearly thought was a comforting gesture. “There, there… You’re very… valuable to us all. Truly. Perhaps… a bit of a break? I will—uh—take care of things while you rest. Just… please don’t break down.”

Though his attempt at comfort was clumsy and awkward, the thought behind it made your eyes well up with tears. Despite everything, he was trying.

“Okay,” you whispered, and Crowley gave an exaggerated nod, as if this small victory had restored his usual bravado.

“Very well! I’ll expect to see you back when you’re ready, my precious little rabbit. Take your time!”

Divus Crewel:

Professor Crewel’s sharp gaze pinned you the moment you entered his classroom. He noted the new tension in your shoulders, the lack of bounce in your step, and the weary drag in your eyes.

“Well, well, looks like you’ve finally grown some grit,” Crewel said, his lips curling into a smirk. “It’s about time you toughened up. I was beginning to think I had a little herbivore in my class, but I see now you’ve developed a thicker hide.”

Those words—meant to be encouragement, or perhaps a compliment—broke the last bit of strength you had left. The tears you had been holding back spilled over, and your breath hitched as you tried, and failed, to keep your emotions in check.

Crewel’s eyes widened in alarm, his smirk vanishing in an instant. “Whoa, whoa, now—what’s this?” His tone softened, and he quickly put down the lesson plan he’d been holding. He crossed the room, placing a surprisingly gentle hand on your shoulder. “I didn’t mean… I wasn’t trying to push you that far.”

You shook your head, choking back sobs. “I just… I can’t anymore. I can’t keep up with everything.”

For a moment, Crewel stood there, clearly at a loss. But then his paternal instincts kicked in, and he sighed, pulling you into a firm but comforting hug. “You’ve been doing too much, haven’t you, pup? Trying to shoulder all of it on your own.”

You nodded, tears soaking into his coat, but he didn’t seem to mind. He gently stroked your back in soothing motions. “You’ve proven yourself time and again,” he murmured. “But you don’t have to break yourself to do it. Let me handle some of the load.”

His words, so uncharacteristically gentle, made you cry harder. And Crewel, despite his tough exterior, let you. “It’s okay, pup. You don’t have to carry this alone.”

Mozus Trein:

Professor Trein glanced over his spectacles at you as you entered his classroom, late, looking disheveled and utterly drained. He gave a soft ‘tsk,’ his usual sternness evident. “I hope this recent behavior won’t affect your studies,” he remarked, a hint of disappointment in his voice.

You didn’t even have the energy to reply, simply nodding and sitting down heavily at your desk. Trein continued to watch you for a moment, then his brow furrowed as he took in the full extent of your exhaustion—the dark circles under your eyes, the slumped posture, the way you barely moved.

He put down the parchment he’d been grading and approached you, his voice quieter, more concerned. “You’re not yourself.”

You felt tears prick your eyes, but you stubbornly kept them at bay. “I’m… trying.”

Trein sighed, and for the first time, his stern exterior softened. “You’ve always been diligent. But there comes a time when even the most diligent students need rest.”

Before you could respond, you felt a soft weight land in your lap. Lucius, Trein’s ever-grumpy cat, had jumped up onto your desk, curling up as if offering you silent comfort.

Trein gave a rare, faint smile. “Even Lucius seems to think you’ve had enough. Take some time for yourself, and… don’t hesitate to ask for help.”

It was the first time you felt truly seen in a while. And though Trein wasn’t the warmest, his quiet concern—and Lucius’s uncharacteristic kindness—were enough to make you finally exhale the breath you’d been holding.

Sam:

Sam’s wide grin greeted you as you wandered into his shop, his usual cheerful energy practically bouncing off the walls. “Well hey there, little rabbit! What brings you to my corner of the world today?”

You mustered a half-hearted smile, trying to match his energy, but it fell flat. “Just… looking.”

Sam’s eyes narrowed, sharp as ever. “Just lookin’, huh? C’mon now, I know you better than that! Somethin’s got you down, I can see it from a mile away.”

You shrugged, not really wanting to get into it, but before you could think of a reply, Sam leaned in closer, his tone still playful but a bit more serious. “You look like you’ve been runnin’ on empty, little rabbit. What’s goin’ on?”

For some reason, the concern in his voice broke through the walls you’d been trying to keep up. The tears welled up without warning, and you bit your lip, shaking your head as if you could will them away.

Sam’s grin faltered, and his usual jokes fell silent. He quickly stepped around the counter, his voice softer than you’d ever heard it. “Hey, hey… none of that now. You’re too important to be runnin’ yourself into the ground like this.”

You sniffled, wiping at your eyes. “I just… I don’t know how to keep going, Sam.”

Without a word, Sam pulled you into a hug, his big arms wrapping around you protectively. “You’ve been strong for a long time, little rabbit. Ain’t nothin’ wrong with leanin’ on someone else every once in a while.”

Ashton Vargas:

“Hey! What’s up, champ?” Vargas greeted you with his usual booming enthusiasm as you dragged yourself into the gym. His muscular arms were crossed over his chest, and he was clearly expecting you to give some sort of equally enthusiastic reply.

Instead, you just shrugged, your energy completely sapped. “Nothing much.”

Vargas frowned, his usually boisterous demeanor faltering slightly as he noticed how worn out you looked. “Hey, you alright? You’re lookin’ a little worse for wear.”

You tried to laugh it off, but it came out weak. “Just tired.”

“Tired?” Vargas echoed, his concern growing. “You’re a fighter! You don’t get tired, right?” He tried to give you an encouraging slap on the back, but when you didn’t respond, his smile dropped completely. “Okay, something’s really wrong.”

You sighed, the exhaustion creeping into every part of you. “I can’t keep up anymore, I’m just… done.”

For a moment, Vargas looked completely out of his depth. He wasn’t exactly the go-to guy for emotional support. But he wasn’t going to let you suffer alone either. He awkwardly reached out, putting a hand on your shoulder.

“Look, uh… I’m not the best with words, but… you don’t have to be strong all the time, okay? Everyone needs a break. Even you.”

His sincerity, even through the awkwardness, made your heart clench. And before you knew it, you were leaning into his surprisingly gentle hold as tears finally escaped.

“Alright, alright,” Vargas muttered, patting your back like a dad who didn’t really know what he was doing but was trying his best. “We’ll get you through this, alright? Just… breathe.”

Masterlist

[trustmypoison]

Ateez finding out that you're pregnant

Requested? Yes!

Request: Hi! <3 I loved your ATEEZ reaction with a low maintenance partner! I was wondering if I could make a request? Either: How each member prefers to sleep with you at night/whether they like to be held or do the holding/etc. I did see the sleeping positions one but I figured this one was different enough. If not that's totally fine!! Otherwise, maybe a pregnancy one, I saw the ones planned for svt and I'd love to see ateez. tysm!! <3’

TW/CW: pregnancy and baby talk. Skip if you aren’t into that. 

Hongjoong

The picture of totally put together. There will be only a split second of shock before he’s holding you tight and telling you how happy he is about the news. If you were nervous about the news (which I think most people are at least a little), he’s putting your mind at ease immediately. No, it’s not too soon. No, he’s not worried about the group or the company. Yes, he can’t wait to start a family. 

Seonghwa

Stunned silence. You actually think you might have broken him. Once he starts talking, it’s one half-finished question only to be interrupted by another half-finished question, but you get the picture so you explain that you realized you were late and took a test. If the shock goes on so long that you feel like this whole thing is going down the drain, he’ll snap out of it to assure you he’s thrilled, he might just need some time to wrap his head around it. 

Yunho

He had a sneaking suspicion when you got a ‘stomach bug’. He doesn’t say anything right away and you’d be too busy being sick to care. So he simply takes you to the doctor. He’s totally silent when you stammer that you don’t need to take a test and the doctor assures you it’s just to eliminate potential causes. When the doctor announces your results, he’s already braced for the shock and handles it far more gracefully than you do. Please, he’d be such a steady partner, change my mind. 

Yeosang

When you tell him, he just smiles and nods. You ask if he has anything to say and he smiles and says no. This sort of questioning goes on until you really aren’t convinced he even heard you. You don’t feel good and this is a tough topic if only because it’s a surprise, and the whole thing makes you impatient. “Are you even listening? I said I’m pregnant!” The frustration will double when he just smiles and says, “I know. At least I suspected.” He pulls you in for a hug as you rage, “Then why didn’t you tell me??? I didn’t know!!!” Irritatingly calm in the face of such news. 

San

The gentlest of guys and you can’t convince me otherwise. After like the third bout of illness in one morning, he puts you back to bed and very carefully brings up the possibility. He hates the panic that flashes across your face at the mere mention of it and he decides now is a great time to tell you that he’d love it if you were expecting. It puts your mind at ease and the conversation is a slow buildup to you finally asking him to get the tests. Super sweet and supportive even before the tests are purchased. 

Mingi

Panic. I could leave it at that but I guess I won’t. He does not know what to do with this information and might not handle it gracefully. He hates that he can see how nervous and upset you are but I envision he’d need to step away. Imagine him going to an older member in crisis mode. Also, imagine Hongjoong blowing up because he just left you like that without any comfort. After some careful coaching, his older members will demand he go and make things right. When he calms down and thinks of the future, he likes it, but a big change like that is scary. 

Wooyoung

He just shows up with a couple of tests and demands that you take it. It’s so perplexing that you’re kind of waiting for the punchline (because he always has one). But he really doesn’t have one now and he’s very serious. Now, that doesn’t mean he’s not a smart ass!! He’ll say something like, “You’ve been biting my head off for weeks, you keep gagging at the food I make, and you missed your period last month. Take it so I know how offended to be.” He’s joking on that last bit because of how pale you get at the implication. He’s thrilled about the news, but he’s equally thrilled to know that you don’t just hate him!! 

Jongho 

Overjoyed. Like there’s not even a moment of shock. The way he holds you close and tells you how happy he is in an instant really smashes any doubts you might have had. Totally doting immediately. I’m serious, do not move, do not pick anything up, do not try to do anything for yourself. I think normally he would not baby his partner quite so much, but he’d do a complete 180 with this news. Prepare to be coddled for at least 9 months, or maybe forever, idk. 

[islandofsages]

So i got some silly idea, Can i request Savanaclaw dorm with male raccoon beastman reader 🦝 (who is also a third year Savanaclaw student) that likes to ✨ collect trash ✨ and ✨ dumpster driving ✨ Like, He is not poor but he just likes to do that. Thanks! Have a great day!

characters: the savanaclaw boys x male raccoon beastman third year reader

tags: platonic, fluff, imagines format

warnings: none

author's notes: i feel like i made dumpster-diving sound like thrifting in this ... i love thrifting can you tell

Leona Kingscholar

“...Whaddya think ya’re doing?”

Oh, you thought it was obvious but apparently not. You're dumpster diving obviously

A better question would be what is Leona Kingscholar doing near a bunch of dumpsters. You point this out to him

He actually seems to ponder that question for a second. What is he doing there, entertaining some dumpster-diver? Then he realizes that it doesn’t matter

His face merely contorts into an irritated frown and he mumbles something about “fucking raccoon beastpeople and their weird habits” then walks off

You watch his silhouette grow smaller by the second then shrug to yourself. His loss

He doesn’t say anything when you come back to the dorms carrying the junk you get from your scavenging but you can tell he’s somewhat curious of what you found

One time you come back bringing a wholeass couch and it’s somehow in mint condition - he’s more bewildered by the people who’s throwing the trash than you at this point

It’s definitely not for him but as long as you don’t bother him and that you’re happy, he doesn’t say a word about your habits.

Jack Howl

He tries not to be too judgemental since there’s all kinds of people in NRC and he feels like he’s definitely seen weirder things by now

He’s a little confused but he got the spirit! Spirit of what exactly? Spirit of supporting you and respecting his upperclassmen obviously

He’s somewhat stiff around you since you’re older and he doesn’t want to offend you in any way - so you make an effort to make him more comfortable around you

You’d tell him about what you find in your little adventures and he seems to be amused by the kind of stuff people easily throw away here

“That’s part of the magic! Plus, once you get used to the stench and filth, it’s really not all that bad.”

He believes and trusts your words but he still won’t try it for himself. He’ll leave it all up to you and your expertise

Sooner or later, with enough storytelling, a smile on his face becomes a common look for him whenever you’re around

You’d even bring him back stuff you found that you think he’d like (after thoroughly washing them and bringing them back to the best condition of course)

Whenever you see him use the stuff you give to him, whether it’s a decoration in his room or it’s on his person, you feel a little proud of the bond you’ve nurtured with him.

Ruggie Bucchi

He understands the need to stoop to that level but when you tell him you don’t even need the stuff you collect and just do it for fun, he’s silent for a bit

Still won’t judge you for it! Plus sometimes he gets the good stuff from your scavenges so he’s not complaining

Once he gets curious enough, he’ll tag along on the diving… and it’s not as bad as he thought it would be

It’s stinky and dirty but sometimes he really hits the jackpot in some of the dumpsters. It’s like a thrift store but even cheaper somehow

“(Y/N), look at what I found! Are you seeing this right now?”

You unironically become dumpster-diving buddies and the two of you would review the stuff you got after each session to decide if you’re going to keep some or not

You guys can probably get a lot of clout if you start a YouTube channel

You two grow a lot closer after enlightening him of the joys of dumpster-diving, which you aren’t too surprised about since it’s a common bonding experience for you raccoon beastpeople

But as you look back on your memories of junk-collecting and look forward towards Ruggie's laugh, you can’t help but laugh with him.

[gublernatural]

Wine-Tainted Water ❤︎ Spencer Reid

from the river to the sea, palestine will be free 🇵🇸 READ: this account stands with palestine, and so— i require everyone who interacts to educate themselves, and support/donate. READ THESE; 1 and 2, HELP HERE, BOYCOTT. silence is complicity, do not scroll past this.

♡ SUMMARY: after a night out with their team, spencer and his lover take a bath together. based on one line of dress by taylor swift.

♡ WARNINGS: alcohol, reader and spencer are drunk, grossly cute fluff, not edited and in all lowercase

♡ NOTE: this is probably my favorite thing i've ever written

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

“i’m spilling wine in the bathtub. you kiss my face and we’re both drunk. everyone thinks that they know us. but they know nothing…”

you were too drunk to understand how the rest of the team didn’t see you and spencer sneak into the same uber. you were sure spencer would also question how you two got away with it, if it were something he was bothered to consider. but, right here with you, the rest of the team was the last thing on his mind.

despite his knees being pressed almost all the way to his chest and his arms being haphazardly thrown over the side of the tub, there was no other position he’d want to be in right now.

you were laughing at something he said—that much he knew. your face was scrunched up and your smile was probably the biggest he’d ever seen it. the alcohol cursing through your blood was definitely aiding in your laughter. you were always a giggly drunk, spencer realized.

not that he was any better. he wasn’t sure if he was more love drunk or alcohol drunk. the bar the team had visited was running a special on vodka cranberries, and he had definitely had a few too many. he wasn’t sloppy drunk or not in control of himself drunk, but he was the kind of drunk that made the tips of your fingers go numb.

he was trying to gauge where you are on that spectrum. you had stuck to wine, so you aren’t feeling as dizzy as he currently is, but you had a few more than him.

spencer quickly gave up on trying to pinpoint your location on this imaginary drunk scale he’d made up. he was too entranced by the words you were attempting to form. “spence!” you cheered, holding out the wine class he’d teased you for grabbing.

“what are you doing?” spencer said with a teasing smile as you made your way to his kitchen cabinet. “you still have that bottle of sangria?” you asked, with a much more stable tone than you had now. “yes?” spencer was clearly confused, “i thought you wanted to take a bath?” you laughed in reply, “there’s no law against having wine in the bathtub.” he couldn’t argue with that.

that was probably over an hour now. the water had run cold and the vanilla scented bubble bath you’d dumped in was starting to fade.

“another glass?” he questioned, taking your glass and reaching for the bottle you’d propped up against the side of the bathtub. “mhm!” you nodded, stretching out your legs a little bit. neither of you were comfortable per say, but the alcohol and love in the air was easily masking the joint pain you were starting to experience. squeezing into a tub with a man as tall as spencer was not an easy feat, but you were desperate to make it work.

“do you think anyone noticed?” spencer asked, referring to your hasty exit from the bar. “i dunno,” you mumbled as he handed the glass back to you, “i don’t really care either.” for some reason, your simple reply made spencer smile. he also didn’t care, he decided as soon as the words left your mouth.

“plus,” you started after taking a sip of your wine. spencer could tell you were about to ramble. it was a thing in your relationship. if one of you wasn’t rambling, the other definitely was. and you both listened to each other carefully, never invalidating or rushing them. it was nice to be with someone who talked like he did, spencer thought.

“even if they did, they don’t really know.” you emphasized. “like, they only really know work us, y’know?” spencer didn’t know. the team was his family and definitely knew more about him than simply who he was at work. with one quirk of an eyebrow, however, he was able to get you to explain your train of thought.

“see!” you gestured to his facial expression. as your body excitedly moved to show that your point had been proven, even if spencer was still confused, your almost full wine glass shook, sending red sangria into the bath water. spencer held back his laugh as you gently splashed it towards him. you took another sip, before continuing your explanation.

“i was very easily able to tell you didnt understand what i was saying. because we know each other. really know each other. so who cares if they think we’re dating? i mean i’ve seen parts of you no one else has, like i’ve seen your butthole, spencer. has anyone else on the team seen your butthole? exactly.”

spencer couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled over from his throat. you were speaking so passionately and so clearly about this, it was the most adorable thing he’d ever seen. he couldn’t tell if the warmth radiating through his chest was from the alcohol or from the way you existed in this space. he never wanted to leave this bathtub.

spencer couldn't help himself as he launched forward. the wine-tainted water that went flying over the side of the tub would be a problem for tomorrow. right now, all he was worried about was pressing a million and one kisses to the part of cheek that bubbled up when you smiled. he gently caressed your face as he moved closer to you. not even the pain in his back from his sudden jolt forward could slow him down.

you grip tighten on your wine glass, making sure it was secure in your hand as spencer moved. the bathroom acoustics made your fit of laughter sound as perfect as beethoven's third sympony to spencer. your giggles bounced off the wall, right into his heart as he kisses moved from your cheeks to being peppered around your entire face. his hands moved down to your sides, pulling you closer to him.

"spencer!" you squealed as his fingers wiggled against your sides. you could feel your grip on your glass loosening as he tickled you. "spencer! stop!" you laughed, using your feet to push against his thighs, effectively pushing him away. the bathroom was silent as you both came down from the giggle high you'd been on.

after another sip of wine, you spoke, "what was that for?" there was no malice behind your words. no accusatory tone or anger from his actions. you were smiling, basking in spencer's rare show of affection. he simply shrugged, "i just love you," he declared. you, once again, giggled at his words, "i love you too."

spencer sighed, holding up his hand to show you his pruning fingers. he was starting to sober up, so the cold of the bath water was beginning to effect him. "it might be time to get out, love." your bottom lip jutted out, expressing a disappointment that was far too dramatic for his simple sentiment. "don't wanna," you mumbled, pulling your glass to chug the rest of the wine before spencer made you get up.

spencer let out a laugh as you chugged, encouraging you to keep going. you finished the glass incredibly quickly. "i'm getting cold," he cooed, grabbing the empty glass and placing it on the floor, out of the way of where either of you would step out of the tub. "m'kay," you mumbled, not wanting spencer to suffer at your expense. spencer slow stood, not wanting to get any more water on the floor. he reached for the towel on the rack, dropping in on the floor, protecting your feet from where he overflowed the water earlier.

"stay here," he instructed before stepping out. he went to grab another towel. he quickly threw one around his waist, before reaching for the fluffiest one he could find. he returned to the side of the tub, leaving the towel to rest on the sink.

"ready?" he questioned, holding out his hand for you to take. in your drunken state, you were extremely grateful for his help to get you on your feet. he held onto you as you stepped over the wall of the bathtub, and didn't let go until you were standing stable. then, he reached for the towel, wrapping you up in it's warmth.

he rubbed his hands along the sides of your body, drying it to the best of his ability. the smudged makeup and goofy smile that painted your face had his heart racing.

"you ready?" he gestured to the door as he spoke. you nodded in response, pulling the towel tighter around your body. "i don't want to go to work on monday," you informed him as you walked the hallway to your room. "me neither," he agreed, reaching in his drawer for two oversized shirts. he slipped on a pair of boxers before moving to grab your comfiest pair of underwear.

you had made yourself comfortable on the edge of the bed, not wanting to wet where you or spencer would lay down. "legs up," he mumbled as he bent down. he slid the underwear up your legs, and helped you lift your butt up when he got to the top. once you were comfortable in them, he slipped on his shirt.

"arms up," you nodded at his words, instantly shooting them straight up in the air. as he slid the shirt over your arms, you spoke. "can we watch love is blind?" your voice sounded tired, despite the facade you were keeping of being wide awake. "yeah," he promised as he helped you lay down. once you were dressed and covered, he moved to the other side of the bed. he climbed in next to you, and you tried to ignore the way your head spun as he shifted to get comfortable.

"do you wanna watch the new one?" he asked. "mhm," you hummed. he pressed play on it, knowing you'd be asleep by the time the intro scene ended.

[romanarose]

Logan Howlett x disordered eating reader

Some thoughts I had with Logan after reading this lovely imagine and having a tough time in recovery the last few days

Cw eating disorders. This is more focused on anorexia but if anyone wants thought on Logan with a bulimic reader just send an ask!!! Or any Logan Howlett asks 🥰

As a reminder everyone’s experience is different!!! No one’s disorder is the same. This is just based on what I know

Logan isn’t gonna pick up on an eating disorder right away, but he’s gonna notice the disordered eating. When you first start dating he’s going to think you just eat light. He’s not stupid, he’ll notice you don’t finish your foot or eat small portions.

At first, once you are comfortable with each other, he’s going to think that it’s about something with him. He remembers seeing some stupid clip or tweets or something about guys not liking girls who finish their plates or eat big portions.

He’s gonna bring it up at dinner like oh you know I don’t care about that incel shit right? Dicks like that probably aren’t going on dates in the first place.

Which of course he means well and of course it’s nice to have the reassurance he doesn’t listen to Andrew Tate, but it has the opposite effect. Now that you know he’s noticed it, you become more secretive. After years of hiding an ED you’re pretty good so you get away with it for a while.

Next Logan is gonna have a bit of concern when he notices how much you work out. He’s going to try and tell you that he’s not trying to control what you eat, but he really thinks you should be getting more protein from food, not just powders since you’re working out.

You thank him, and proceed to panic that he’s onto you

It’s not until he takes you out to a super nice pasta place that he realizes something is wrong. There’s no way you worked all day, worked out, came home and waiting for reservations and had this late dinner only to have a few bites.

Logan thinks you’re sick, wants you to go to a doctor. When he says “well what other reason could there be for you to not eat“ he finally connect the dots.

It’s gonna be confusing to Logan because he think you’re just to beautiful but he’s also been alive long enough enough to know that just telling a person he thinks they are beautiful doesn’t always do the trick. He’s never been with someone with an eating disorder, not that he knew anyway, but this isn’t his first rodeo with someone with body image issues.

He’s going to take it easy. He’s going to try extra hard to make you feel beautiful and attractive and loved.

I won’t lie and say oh yeah Logan is gonna try and get you into therapy. He’s not. I don’t see him as WOO HOOOOOO THEREPY type. Correct if I’m missing something lol

But if you bring it up, if you think that it’s a good thing for you he’s going to support you and hold your hand the whole way…. Even if that means in-patient.

He’s gonna listen to the doctor because his personal pride and guilt over not being able to fix you himself isn’t more important than you getting better. He’s going to do what he needs to do to be a supportive person.

Logan loves you and he’s going to see you though this, through every relapse and bad day.

[generalllimaginesss]

"I'm not letting you drive home in this condition” with Nico. I feel like he gives off protective energy. I’m imagining friends to lovers vibes. He falls first but they’re best friends. Maybe they met when he joined the Devils. Like randomly met somewhere and have been close ever since. And she has a really bad day at work. Everything that could go wrong, went wrong. And she’s crying driving home and drives to his instead because she doesn’t want to be alone. Maybe he makes dinner (idk if this man can cook tbh) and then she’s still upset but tries to leave so he can get on with his night and he insists she stay because he doesn’t want her driving upset. And that’s when she realizes she’s in love with him. Like she drove to his place unannounced because she knew he was the only one who could comfort her and the only one she wanted to go to.

I’ve realized that I’m a sucker for Nico. He gives off golden retriever vibes and I feel like he would be such a nice person to be friends with. I hope you like it!!

••

You didn’t realize when you picked up your friends shift, now making you a double, that you would make very little money and the tables that you served were horrible. Not to mention your anxiety was at an all time high while you were waiting on a letter to tell you if you were accepted into the graduate program to your dream school. When all of these emotions combine, it makes for a shitty day.

Twelve hours after you clocked in, you were only up $150 dollars and finally were able to leave, your last table staying almost an hour after closing. There was dried sauces all over your uniform, your hair was disgusting, and you just felt heavy. With your emotions clouding your judgement, all you wanted to do was go to sleep.

As you made your way to your car that was parked behind the restaurant you worked at, a couple of notifications from your email caught your eye. The emails came from the two schools that you were betting your future on…

You decided it could hold off, the tears burning the corner of your eyes took priority, and you didn’t know if you could handle what the emails revealed.

While running your hands through your tangled mess of hair, tears freely fell, the product of being completely exhausted. The one person that kept flashing in your mind, however, was Nico. The devils played Anaheim and you weren’t able to keep up with the score, so you wanted to congratulate him on the win.

As much as you hated your job, you always reminded yourself that it was temporary, and most of all that without it you wouldn’t have Nico. The one person in the world that felt as lonely as you at one point on a rainy afternoon 6 years ago.

When Nico had first gotten to New Jersey, he didn’t feel close to anybody. Sure, he was the first overall draft pick. Sure, people loved him. But at the end of the day he felt like he had nobody. He felt like he had to keep this persona of “Mr. Tough Guy” up to prove himself.

He found himself all alone in the restaurant you work at, managing to snag you as a server. He must’ve sat at your table for hours, always finding something else to talk about every time you checked on him. He stayed until you got off and proposed the idea of going out to grab a drink or two, to which you happily obliged, finally hopeful that you found a friend.

Where Nico felt lonely in hockey, you felt lonely in school. Making friends in college was hard, especially when you’re from out of state and aren’t in Greek Life or in any extracurriculars. Your roommate and you had hardly had 10 conversations in the first year you lived together, so your studies became your main priority.

When Nico and you realized that you had a lot more in common than you thought, the friendship just developed naturally. When you were off work you supported him at his games. When he had a day off he helped you make flash cards and study. And on the rare chance that you both had nothing to do, movie nights were your thing.

Six years later and he was your very best friend. You told him everything. Every detail of your life was known by Nico and vice versa. You weren’t dependent on Nico for emotional support, but he was sweet to have around.

Tonight, however, was going to be one of those nights where you just needed somebody. You just needed Nico.

The tears cleared your eyes long enough for you to send Nico a quick text letting him know that you were headed to his apartment. He immediately responded with a thumbs up.

While you were driving, just about every depressing Olivia Rodrigo and Gracie Abram song played, reminding you of your relationship that had ended almost a month ago. You felt bad because Nico already had to deal with the mess you were then, and here you are again. Driving to his apartment, an emotional wreck and tired of the world.

You parked beside his car and walked up the flight of stairs that led to his door. You barely were able to knock when he opened the door and saw the state you were in. He could tell that you had been crying, probably only stopping when you parked, and that you needed somebody.

“Come here,” he held his arms opened in the doorway, enveloping you in the coziest embrace, the smell of his body wash lingering from his shower. Since he towered over you, he gently held your head against his chest and rested his head on yours, placing light pecks to the crown of your head.

He held you like that until you pulled away and made your way completely into his apartment, him closing and locking the door behind you.

He watched quietly as you made yourself at home, taking your shoes off and untucking your shirt from your pants. He chuckled to himself when he saw that you were wearing completely mismatched socks. He loved the quirky things that you did.

“I’m sorry, I wanted to congratulate you on the win,” your voice was nasally since you had been crying so hard and your nose was stopped up.

Nico smiled sadly, not wanting to make you feel worse, but aware he should probably tell you the truth.

“We lost, actually. Five to one.”

You groaned, disappointed in yourself that you didn’t bother to look up the score to make sure they won.

“I’m sorry. I worked a double and wasn’t able to watch. I just assumed with Anaheim’s record that you all would win.”

“Yeah, well, it just didn’t end up in our favor. They played pretty physical. You should go back and watch it,” He winked at you, a smile stretching from one corner of his mouth.

“But anyways, what’s wrong? I know you didn’t come here to just congratulate me on ‘winning,” he looked you up and down, taking note of the exhaustion that spewed from you.

“It just wasn’t a good day. I didn’t make money and then on the way over here music that reminded me of-” You tried to finish, but Nico immediately cut you off, reminding you of a relatively new rule that he had made.

“We don’t speak his name,” his eyebrows raised, warning you to not finish your sentence.

You sighed, “Ok, well you know who I’m referring to.”

Nico walked to his sofa, plopping down and patting the spot beside him , offering it to you. You happily obliged, tucking one leg underneath you and the other tucked into your chest.

“They emailed me back…the schools,” you announced, to which Nico instantly perked up.

“And? Did you get in?” A part of him wanted to see you live your dream, but he knew that with you getting into your dream school would mean you would be leaving New Jersey. More specifically, leaving him. The thought of not having you only 15 minutes away made him want to punch a wall. He had let himself fall for you, knowing that while New Jersey was home for him, it was merely a checkpoint for you. It was one step closer to you taking off in life.

“I didn’t look. I’m scared to,” You admitted, pulling out your phone and handing it to him.

“Please read it for me.”

He clicked on the email, his expression hard to read.

He didn’t want to read the news to you. He didn’t want to be the one that told you that you had been waitlisted by the two schools you were betting on, but he knew it was better for him to read it to you than you read it alone.

When you figured he had ample time to read both emails and he wasn’t telling you anything, a pit in your stomach began to take place. Tears quickly puddled, spilling over your bottom eyelid as if they were a never ending fountain.

“I didn’t get in, did I?” Your voice broke, in return breaking a little piece of Nico.

“Waitlisted by both, but that’s not a no,” He tried to make you feel better, but when your body started shaking and the tears turned into sobs, he knew you needed to be held. He obliged, wrapping his arm around your side, pulling you closer to him and rubbing your side soothingly.

You instinctively laid your head on his side, wanting to curl into him as closely as you could, as if he could protect you from everything that’s wrong in the world. Everything that felt like it was out to get you.

“Have you had anything to eat?” He knew as soon as he asked it that you wouldn’t want to eat. He also knew that if you had been working all day that you wouldn’t take the time to stop and eat.

He felt you shake your head side to side, confirming what he already knew.

“I was about to make a quick dinner. I was thinking breakfast? Maybe some pancakes, eggs and bacon?” He ran his fingers through your hair, deciding to take your ponytail holder out and place it on his wrist. You sighed, the relief from the tension of your ponytail helping you feel slightly better.

“Please,” you said, knowing he was going to ask you if you wanted some either way. No matter if you made it into your dream schools or not, you still had to eat.

Nico slowly peeled himself off the couch, finally realizing how exhausted he was. Back-to-back games finally catching up with him.

You followed him to the kitchen, claiming stake to one of the barstools, watching him as he began to prepare the food.

“I know you probably don’t know, but what’s your backup plan? Are you going to apply to other schools?” He asked, cracking eggs into a bowl with pancake mix.

“No. I’ll have to wait until next year. I’m stuck here for another year, Nico,” your voice was strained and scratchy, but he understood you.

“That’s not all bad is it? I mean I’m here,” he attempted to make you laugh, but it was to no avail.

“My roommate is moving back home and I literally have no one else who I think I could room with. We both planned on this being it for Jersey,” you laughed, not out of humor, but at the thought of how much has gone wrong in 12 hours.

“What about staying with me?” He asked the question before he could catch himself. Would you see straight through to his true feelings for you, or would you just think he was extending a friendly offer to one of his friends who needed a little help.

“Nico, why the hell would you want me to move in with you? Have you met me?” Your puffy eyes made eye contact with his sweet ones.

Oh, how absolutely clueless you were. It would have been cute had it not been his feelings for you in the mix.

“You’re not that bad. I’ve definitely had worse roommates.” He smiled as he flipped the pancakes on the griddle and placed the eggs in a pan on the stove to cook.

“I can’t accept your pity offer,” you reached across the counter for a paper towel to catch the snot that was creeping out of your nose.

“Don’t think of it as a pity offer. Think of it as…what’s that word for when it’s not a parasite, but both things benefit?” He looked to the ceiling as if it held the answer to his missing word.

You laughed, finding it cute that he sometimes can’t think of the right English word he’s looking for.

“Mutualism?” You pitch the word to him, to which he points to you enthusiastically.

“That! Think of it as that. I mean, I could use a little help around here,” he motioned to his apartment.

“Yeah, I don’t know about that. I’d have to think about it,” Your tears were becoming manageable with him trying to make you feel better. You’d internally think about everything that went wrong and tears would brim again, but when Nico talked it made it better.

“Well think about it,” he said, his bacon looking a tiny bit burnt as he transferred it from the pan to a dish to serve to you along with some scrambled eggs and a pancake.

You began to dig in to the food, Nico following close behind you as he fixed his plate and sat beside you. The two of you ate in silence. It wasn’t an awkward silence, but a peaceful silence. It allowed for you to think and for him to think about you. He wanted to feel sad about you not getting into the graduate program, but a whole extra year with you? He couldn’t be too upset.

The two of you finished eating and washed your dishes, putting them up, Nico returning to the living room on the sofa and you putting your shoes back on.

“What are you doing?” Nico asked, his eyebrows raised inquisitively as he watched you tie your shoes.

“I’ve got to go home,” you said as you stretched your back.

“I’m not letting you drive home in this condition,” He started, ready to pitch his case for you to stay the night.

“You’re tired, upset, and you don’t need to be by yourself right now. Stay with me,” His eyes were practically begging you, but his tone was stern, evident that he would not be budging.

“I have no clothes-”

“I have some t-shirts.”

“I need to wash my hair and I have no shampoo or conditioner.”

“Nina left some here, use hers,” Nico had a solution to all of your excuses, making you realize that there really wasn’t a reason why you couldn’t spend the night.

“Just stay,” His voice was barely above a whisper, wrapping itself around your heart as you caved into him.

“Fine,” you sighed.

He showed you where all of Nina’s products were and laid out one of his old t-shirts on the counter in the bathroom. It was long enough to be a dress on you, swallowing you whole.

He ran the water for you and left you in the bathroom by yourself, causing you to let out a few silent sobs before getting in the shower, letting the hot water wash away the things you have no control over. You tried to think about the positives. You had Nico for another year.

Nico. Nico Hischier that held up your table all of those years ago. Nico Hischier that helped you study for every stupid exam you had. Nico Hischier that always ran to you first after every home game. Your Nico. Your best friend. The one that always had an open shoulder for you to cry on and open arms when you needed a hug.

Did guys treat girls like this that they just loved as friends? You sure as hell had never had one like him.

While thinking about all that Nico has been there for, tears begin to fall. It hit you like a ton of bricks, the possibility that Nico could be more than a friend. Would he feel the same? Would these newly discovered feelings be the downfall of your friendship?

Just as quick as the feelings surfaced, you shut it down. Nico meant too much to you for you to lose him over selfish feelings. Everything was perfect with him and your stupid little crush would not ruin that.

While you continued to shower, Nico changed the sheets on his bed, putting on fresh ones from the dryer so that you would be warm when you got in. He decided he would take the couch.

The smile that he had hidden while consoling you appeared as he prepared his apartment for you for the night. He thought about the possibility that you might move in with him, relishing in the idea that he could see you everyday when he woke up and at night when he went to sleep. Never ending movie nights and having his best friend 24/7…what possibly could be better?

You being his girlfriend. Would that come in time? Did he need to tell you his feelings or keep them to himself?

He had always been able to conceal his feelings, the fear of losing you greater than the pain of only being your friend. That had worked out fine, but when you rounded the corner of the hallway into the living room with his shirt hanging right above your knees and a pair of his long socks bunched on your leg, his breath hitched.

He let his eyes take in everything about you. The way your hair curled at the nape of your neck from the water, the random bruises that decorated your legs from being clumsy, a few pimples that dusted your face, only visible when your makeup was not, the random bit of mascara that you hadn’t managed to wash off.

He wanted you. He wanted you forever. He wanted you as his wedding date, his girl at the games. He wanted to share holidays with you, exchange anniversary gifts and plan birthday parties with you.

Everything in life he wanted to do with you.

“I can’t do this anymore,” He announced as he walked over to your small frame.

You were confused, about to open your mouth to ask him what he meant, but as soon as you realized he was leaning down to kiss you, your eyes grew wide in shock. His kiss cleared up what he meant.

He cupped your face with his hands, each thumb resting on your cheekbones as he very slightly pulled you closer to him.

Your lips moved in synch, making up for years of him loving you.

He noticed that you had a chapped spot on your lip, but he didn’t mind. The taste of strawberries from your lipstick from earlier lingered, causing him to deepen the kiss, never wanting to forget that taste.

You pulled away, needing to breathe. His eyes were still the soft brown ones that you loved, but you could tell that they looked at you differently from how you thought they did. Just standing in a t shirt and socks, they made you feel like the prettiest girl in the world.

A smile pulled at your lips, causing him to follow, his dimple making an appearance on his face. His scruff itched your face, but you didn’t mind.

“I’m not going to lie to you and tell you that I’m upset you didn’t get into school because I’m not. Call me selfish or whatever, but I need you. You keep me grounded. I want you here with me. Move in here, find something to do while you wait to reapply. I just know there’s nobody else that I love the way I love you,” he ended his confession with a kiss to your forehead.

“Ok,” You whispered, not wanting the warmth of his body to ever be far from you.

“I love you, little lady. A lot more than you realize,” He smirked at the blush that spread across your cheeks, the rosy pink that highlighted your skin revealing the effect that this boy has on you.

He pulled you into him, hugging you as if you would be gone any second and he couldn’t let you go.

When he finally did let you go, you both hopped into his bed and began watching Harry Potter, starting with The Prisoner of Azkaban since he knew that was your favorite one.

You fell asleep first, your head resting on his chest as he scratched your back. When he noticed the soft snores escaping your mouth, he smiled to himself. This was how it was meant to be. You and him.

*

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*

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[hannahbarberra162]

Under the Microscope (Yandere Sabo x Reader) Part 8

on Ao3 18+ MDNI

All the other chapters

This particular chapter is fluffy. I promise Sabo's coming back to the island soon. And that he's just as focused as he was before :)

Remember I don’t know anything about science! If you do, just pretend you don’t either!

Your POV

“Make a Logia fruit? Um, that’s kind of the opposite of what I’ve been working on,” you explained, wiggling your toes in your wet socks. Your butt, feet, and sleeves were wet from the sea water lapping gently at you as you sat on the beach. The temperature was dropping steadily and you felt the chill of the night starting to bother you as you splashed. “I’ve been trying to reverse engineer the fruits and find a way to nullify their powers. I was thinking that maybe, um, Sabo…or someone..could um..I’m not sure really. But I can’t - those fruits shouldn’t exist and it’s all my - all my f-fault…S-Sabo tried to tell um tell me -” Your heart started racing again, beating faster and faster as your thoughts returned to the collateral damage you’d caused.

You felt Ace’s hand on the back of your neck. He was probably trying to bring you comfort but right now it felt more like the weight of a guillotine. You shook him off, wanting to wallow in the feelings you deserved in spades. You hugged your knees and rested your head on top as you ran your hands along the parts of your pant legs that were still dry. You realized your hands were stinging from salt water that had entered the open wounds left from biting your fingers.

“I caused a lot of pain and suffering, too. I get it,” Ace said, stretching out his legs. You hummed, you couldn’t imagine any one person had unintentionally brought so much devastation to the world as you had.

“Did you watch Marineford? The Paramount Wars?” Ace asked while observing the sunset. 

You took a deep breath, held it in for a moment, then exhaled. “Um, no, Sabo already asked. I was supposed to watch it live but I was too busy and then I never got caught up. I had just started getting assignments from the higher ups at that time and -”

“That was me. I caused all those Marines to die, my friends to die. Brought my brother into my mess, almost killed him too. Even killed my own father.” Ace said with no emotion in his voice.

“You - you didn’t kill your father. Are you playing with me? I’m sorry, it’s hard for me to tell sometimes,” you said, wiping your running nose on your sleeve. You hoped he was joking but the stiffness of his shoulders belied his calm tone.

“No. I’m Portgas D. Ace, Gol D. Roger’s son. I was sentenced to execution but Luffy came to save me. Whitebeard and the crew too.” You tried to take in all the information Ace was telling you but it had your head swimming. 

“Is Luffy your other brother? The one in the picture with you and Sabo?” you asked an obvious question to avoid the awkwardness of his statement. Helping others with their emotions was never your strong suit.

“Yeah. Strawhat Luffy. Me n’ him n’ Sabo aren’t related by blood. Roger was my biological father but Whitebeard was my dad. Died trying to save me. Buncha my crew siblings died too. Good men.”

“Oh.” You wanted to support him like he’d supported you but you were afraid to say the wrong thing in case he started crying or got angry. “That explains a lot of your lineage factors,” you added quietly. “If your dad was Gol D. Roger, it makes sense you’d have Conqueror’s Haki.”

“Didn’t help me much,” Ace lamented. “Luffy even got me free and all I did was waste the opportunity by taking bait from Akainu. Fucker tried to kill Luffy and punched me through the chest. The only reason I was revived is Law brought me to his sub.”

You blinked rapidly. “Law? Trafalgar Law? Dr. Trafalgar D. Water Law?” Ace grunted.

“Yeah, Trafalgar Law. How come you know him but not me’r Luffy? I’m more famous than him,” Ace said in a half hearted joke. 

“Oh, I’m familiar with Dr. Trafalgar from his articles, not his piracy. He’s brilliant, his articles are always so intriguing. I pay for a subscription out of my own pocket to the journals that publish him, actually. His last article was about heart replacement complications, I wonder if that was from you,” you mused. You cringed as you realized that was not an appropriate statement to make, considering it was likely Ace’s heart he detailed in the article.  

“Probably. He said it was difficult, but I didn’t ask about the details,” Ace said unbothered.

“How did he save your life?” You were curious about the intricacies of Dr. Trafalgar’s devil fruit power and how he used it in conjunction with his medical knowledge and skills. You’d hoped to be invited to a Warlord meeting and catch a glimpse of him but it had never happened.

“I dunno, I was dead for that part,” Ace stated, flicking his long hair over his shoulder.

“Right,” you said, wishing you could bury your head in the sand much like your toes were. If Sabo were here he’d know what to say, you thought. Unlike your own awkward nature, Sabo was suave and charming and would know how to soothe his brother. 

“Are you still healing? Is that why you still have all those bandages?” you asked. Ace raised his eyebrows and looked down at his own chest.

“Oh, no. I’m healed, there’s just a huge scar I don’t like seeing and the yukata doesn’t cover it.” he explained.

“Why don’t you wear a shirt then?” Ace frowned like you’d asked him to eat sand off the beach.

“Nah, not my style. Besides, all the shirts here are Sabo’s and uh…they’re a little too frilly for me,” Ace said. Shirts weren’t his style? What on earth did that even mean? And why didn’t Sabo bring him any? Maybe Sabo was keeping Ace on the island too, not letting him leave. You decided to gently press for information while Ace was in a sharing mood.

“So how long has Sabo kept you on the island?” you asked, hoping Ace would reveal some negative feelings towards Sabo. If Ace wanted off the island, maybe the two of you could work together and figure something out.

“Hm? He doesn’t keep me here. Actually, he’s been trying to get me to leave for a while. Wants me to “reintegrate back into society.” Ace said, using air quotes and mimicking Sabo’s voice, your hopes of escaping dashed. Still, you stifled a laugh at Ace’s impression, trying to keep your composure for the serious conversation. Ace gave you a small smile. “It’s OK, you can’t say anything to me I haven’t said to myself already.” The sun had set, leaving the two of you in the chill of the dusk. “C’mon, it’s cold and I’m sure the water’s making you feel shitty. Let’s go back to the house, get changed. If you get sick, Sabo’s gonna yell at me even more than he’s already gonna.” 

Ace stood up and offered you a hand, pulling you to your feet as well. The two of you walked in companionable silence for a minute before he spoke again.

‘But just hypothetically speaking, could you make a Logia fruit? From a scientific standpoint?” Ace asked curiously.

Ace’s POV

Ace knew you fell for his bait when you slowed your stroll and began chewing your lip. He could practically see the cogs turning in your head as you thought through the possibilities, your wet socks squelching on the path to the house.

“Well….the other fruits were made in advanced scientific labs. I don’t have the equipment needed to engineer something like that…” you trailed off.

“No, no. Not to actually make it here. But could you make an artificial Logia fruit?” 

“I could use the- well, it depends which one,” you said, starting to gesticulate. “The fruit I’d have the most success in creating would be the Mera Mera that you and Sabo ate. You still have the lineage factor which provides a large part of the genetic material needed to make an artificial fruit. Oh, and a strand or two of Sabo’s hair, that’s definitely here. Oh, and maybe part of my own lineage factor? Even though mine is paramecia it might help with some of the active components… And I could probably use any fruit, but for a Logia I would probably want something with a similar quality, maybe some kind of spicy - no that wouldn’t really make a difference, I think Vegapunk used apples? But there aren’t any here so maybe from a common fr- no, no…” you were off in thought, talking to yourself about how the fruit could be made. Reaching the deck of the house, you stopped before you went up the stairs. You stared off in the distance in silence, giving Ace pause.

“Hey, are you alright in there? Didn’t mean to start anything, I was -”

“The flame flower,” you stated. 

“Right.” Ace nodded knowingly, but had no idea what you were referring to.

“I could use the flame flower as the base and the genetic material provided by your and Sabo’s lineage factor. That’s how I could make it work,” you said, nodding slowly. Ace’s mouth dropped open as he watched you staring off into the darkness, Sabo hadn’t exaggerated. Your genius was on par with Vegapunk and other top scientists of the world. You looked at Ace and tilted your head. “But again, I can’t actually do anything without a lab. And a lot of money. So, hypothetically probably. In reality, no.” You nodded to yourself and entered the house, going up the stairs to change your clothes. Ace trailed behind you, pulling on your sleeve to get your attention.

“But can’t you like….” Ace trailed off, using his fingers to pantomime pulling marionette strings.

“What? I don’t follow,” you replied, looking worn out. He should really leave you alone and let you sleep but Ace couldn’t drop the idea, not after you said it was possible.

“I’m not - I don't know how to say it, but like, can’t you like change stuff? Like move the molecules around or cells or whatever?” You blinked rapidly while frowning. 

“Say more,” you commanded, your brow furrowed. You looked like how he’d found you in Sabo’s office, completely focused on one thought. The intensity of your stare almost rivaled Luffy’s when he was serious. 

“Like, um, y’know, like change stuff when you magnify it. Like move the stuff around to make other things? Aren’t molecules the building blocks of life? So move the blocks around?” Ace finished with something Sabo had taught him, trying to get his idea across to you. He wasn’t a scientist but he knew devil fruits could be awakened, he’d tried to do it on his own but ran out of time before his death. Maybe this could be the key to your own fruit awakening and to him getting his powers back.

You stopped walking and stared past him, blinking rapidly. Ace waved his hand in front of your face after a moment. You were on the stairs, he didn’t want you to fall and get hurt when you finally surfaced again. You moved your head away from his hand but didn’t resume walking. Sighing, Ace picked you up, disrupting your thought process.

“H-hey! Put me down! I’m not a child,” you protested while making no movement to get out of his arms. 

“Go do your big thinking after you change your clothes. Like you said, none of this is possible here and if you get hypothermia Sabo’s gonna kill me for real this time,” Ace joked. Depositing you in Sabo’s room, you smiled at Ace.

“Thanks Ace. Good night,” you said, holding the door to shut it.

“Good night, kid,” Ace replied, smiling. He turned and walked away to his own room, getting inside before he heard you yell. 

“I’m not a kid! I think I’m older than you!” Ace chuckled lightly, reaching to unwind his bandages. 

Your POV

You were exhausted from the panic attack and the subsequent heart to heart with Ace. But you couldn’t stop thinking about what he’d said to you. You were turning the thoughts over and over in your mind, thinking about artificial devil fruits and the implications of changing the molecular structure during magnification. Like you’d told Sabo, you could get to the sub-atomic level but it took a lot of concentration and effort. You closed your eyes to rest but you were fixated on Ace’s idea. You tossed and turned for what felt like hours until your stomach rumbled. Oh yeah, you remembered, you hadn’t eaten since earlier that day. It was going to be a long night for you anyway so you might as well eat some food while you thought through the creation of artificial Logia devil fruits.

Heading down to the darkened kitchen, you took out a bowl and some rice. You’d made jambalaya a few days prior so now you’d give your stir-fried rice a shot. There still wasn’t any fish in the house but it would taste ok without it. You were able to make the dish on autopilot, washing the rice and vegetables while thinking about molecular changes. As you thought, you noticed the droplets of water that had landed near the colander. 

You could probably… try what Ace suggested. Changing h2o to h2o2 wouldn’t cause a huge reaction or anything, it would just be hydrogen peroxide. And only one molecule… If you changed the wrong elements or made too many molecules unstable, you could cause a huge chain reaction but that would take so many molecules and this was just one…this was just water…After starting the rice and starting the vegetables sauteing, you magnified a water droplet on the table. Getting down to the molecular level took a few moments but shortly there were two h2o molecules in front of your eyes. Careful not to erase the image, you used your thumb and forefinger to try and pluck one of the oxygens from a molecule and put it into the other. Picking it up felt like static electricity and your heart was racing as you tried to move the oxygen from its current molecule. It almost felt sticky, like it didn’t want to move, but it didn’t take much effort to disrupt its bonds.

You held your breath as you placed it within the bonds of the other molecule. If it didn’t work, at least you tried. You let go.

It worked. 

You were now looking at a molecule of hydrogen peroxide and an hydroperoxyl radical left over. “Holy fuck,” you said softly, looking at the newly formed molecule. You rotated it under your magnification and it looked identical to every other hydrogen peroxide molecule you’d ever seen. The implications were….

“Boo,” a voice said from behind you.

You shrieked like a banshee, jumping in fright. Ace laughed loudly and you swatted him with the spatula you were holding while cursing at him.

“Ace!! What the fuck?! What the fuck is wrong with you?! Why would you do that?!”

“Hey! Ow. Stop hitting me! Ow, that hurts! It was just a joke!” You huffed but you weren’t really mad as Ace dodged your well aimed spatula strikes.

“Why are you awake?” you asked, looking at the clock. It was the middle of the night, surely he had been sleeping like you should have been.

“Smelled good food cooking and I’m hungry,” he shrugged. You noticed he was wearing his yukata but no bandages underneath. The scarred skin on his chest was a deep red and in a circular pattern, blazing out from where his heart was. It was large and raised and had likely taken months to heal. You knew you were staring but the scar was so large and harrowing, you couldn’t stop looking at it.

“Stop undressing me with your eyes. You’re not my type,” Ace teased, sitting at the bar to wait for the food to be done. 

“Oh? And who is?” you asked, genuinely curious. You weren’t offended. Besides Sabo, you’d never been anyone’s type. And even Sabo was just pretending.

“Men,” Ace said offhandedly. Ah. Well, that made things between you a little easier since you didn’t have to worry about any sexual tension between the two of you. 

“Nice,” you replied, stirring the dish on the stove.

“Whatcha cookin’?” Ace asked, standing on the rungs of the bar stool to look over the counter and into the frying pan.

“Stir-fried rice. It’s one of the three dishes I can make, you’ve had the other two. Usually I put seafood in there too but we don’t have any,” you said, giving Ace a pointed look. 

“Well, there is a boat on the island,” Ace began, scratching his cheek. Your interest was immediately piqued - maybe you could use it to escape at some point. “But it’s my old one, Striker. It’s powered by fire and since I don’t have my devil fruit anymore, I can’t use it. There’s a sail but that’s not to propel it, just to direct it.”

You sighed, another plan to escape the island foiled. You thought in silence for a few moments, adding in the rice to the dish.

“What were ya lookin’ at?” Ace asked, watching you cook. You bit your lip, unsure if you should tell Ace about your experiment. You couldn’t think of a reason that the information could be used against you, and it was his idea anyway.

“Um. Well, it’s um. Not that big of a deal and I didn’t think it would work but um. I did kind of do what you said and, ah, changed the structure of a molecule - only one! Just one, it’s fine, don’t worry. And um it. It did work. I changed it by hand, so to speak. So I - that’s what I was looking at.” Ace waited patiently while you stumbled over your words.

“That’s amazing! So what does that mean? Does that mean you can make the devil fruit? The Mera Mera?” He exclaimed, his face breaking into a huge smile and eyes alight. 

“Um, yes, I suppose hypothetically speaking, I could potentially make a Mera Mera artificial fruit. It would be a huge undertaking but again, hypothetically, I could do it. Um, there’s enough genetic and lineage factor material here and I probably could if I worked on it enough but I don’t think -”

“This is wonderful! Oh my god I can’t wait, I’m gonna blow up Sabo when he comes back,” Ace exclaimed. He was off the chair and on his feet, pacing in front of the kitchen. “He’ll be fine, it can’t hurt him. Ooh, maybe we can finally fight each other! That little fucker has been using my moves, I know it. Gonna teach him who’s the real boss, ha! And I can finally make my way back to Wano! Maybe see Luff? I know his bounty is way higher -”

“Ace -”

“But before all that I need to find Marco and the crew. And Deuce, oh my god, Deuce. I miss that man so much, gonna kiss him first thing, did you know he was my first mate? I wonder -”

“Ace!”

“He might be doing better off without me, he wasn’t really a pirate, more of an intellectual type. You’d like him a lot. But I also need to go thank Traflagar and hug Bepo, there’s so much to do -”

“ACE!” 

Ace finally stopped pacing and chattering and looked at you. “Ace, I said I might be able to do it. I just made one molecule , do you know how much work it would take to engineer something like that?” Ace shrugged and waved off your concern, continuing to pace behind the counter.

“So what? You’re a genius, you’ll figure it out. Besides, it’s not like you have anything else to work on right now,” he said, unbothered by your hesitation.

“No,” you stated, crossing your arms. Ace turned on his heel to face you immediately.

“What do you mean ‘no’?” he asked worriedly, racing to the counter. 

“No. I’ve been working on ways to undo the damage my research has caused, not increase the damage. It’s unethical to bring yet another artificial devil fruit into the world, no matter who it goes to.” 

Ace held you in his gaze for a moment, staring into your eyes. Even though he wasn’t related by blood to Sabo some of their mannerisms were eerily similar. He plopped back down on the bar stool with a sigh and ran his hand through his tangled black hair. “You can’t undo what you’ve done. Trust me, I’m the first one to wish things were different, that I could change what I did. But it’s not possible. Doflamingo already made the money, Kaido got the soldiers, Vegapunk made the Seralinas or whatever. You can’t undo it. What were you going to do? Make a new fruit for them to eat? It won’t work, what’s done is done.” Ace got up and walked to where you were turning off the heat on the stove and put his hands on your shoulders. You looked up into his freckled face.

“The only thing to do now is to help the good side win, help people like me ‘n Sabo. Y’know, fight fire with fire,” he said seriously. 

“I don’t know, Ace….I don’t know if that’s something I want to do,” you hesitated. Ace hummed. 

“It could be a one time thing, make the Mera Mera and be done with it,” Ace pleaded, shaking your shoulders lightly. 

“Ace, even if this works, you’ll still be you. You’ll be the same person, with or without the fruit. It’s not going to solve all your problems. You need to work on your emotional healing, not just your body. You can’t even show your chest most of the time,” you said quietly. Ace didn’t respond, looking away to avoid your eyes.

Ace took his hands off your shoulders and went over to the cabinet, pulling out two bowls. His face was impassive but his departed enthusiasm spoke volumes. You plated the food and set the bowls side by side on the counter, Ace bringing you a fork. You ate in silence for a few minutes, Ace mostly pushing the food around his plate. You thought about what he’d said about Striker and getting off the island. If Sabo found out you could manipulate matter, you didn’t think he’d ever let you go. Your only window of escaping closed once Sabo came back to the island. Steeling yourself against your better judgment, you faced Ace.

“I’ll do it. On one condition,” you said, looking at him. Ace’s cheeks were puffed out wide with food.

“Hwaf cuhdihun?” Ace asked, not bothering to chew or swallow.

“You have to take me off the island. Away from here,” you stated. You knew Sabo and Ace were brothers but maybe the desired reward would offset his loyalty to Sabo.

“Hmm,” Ace mumbled as he chewed. You watched him closely to see his reaction, this would make or break your escape from Sabo.

“Sure, why not?” Ace said, quirking his eyebrow with a small smile. 

“You’re sure? You know I mean you need to take me away from Sabo, right?”

“Yeah, I got it. I can get you off the island if the fruit works. It won’t help you,” Ace said, scooping the last of his food into his mouth. His careless attitude made you worry that you’d fallen into a trap you set yourself.

“What do you mean, it won’t help me?” you asked, frowning.

“Sabo’ll just chase you. And he’ll find you, no matter where I take you,” Ace shrugged, literally licking his bowl clean.  

You chewed on the skin next to your nail for a moment. “Are you sure? I mean, I’m not -”

“I’m sure. He’d follow you to the South Pole if he had to. So I’ll take you out, but you won’t get far. He really likes you.” Ace replied, patting his belly.

“He doesn’t, it’s all an act. He’s just using me for - well, for this. To have me finish Project Seraphim for the Revolutionary Army. I heard him tell Dragon,” you protested. Ace stared at you, eyes softening with an unknown emotion.

“Whatever you say,” Ace said lightly, getting up and plugging the sink to begin washing the dishes. You tasted blood as you bit too hard on your already chewed thumb.

Sabo’s POV

Sabo wasn’t sure exactly what set off his internal warning signal. He and Ace had been calling back and forth every few days over the weeks, exchanging information and pleasantries. Ace had been in an elated mood, which he chalked up to becoming better friends with Sunny. Sabo noted Ace hadn’t been wearing the bandages around his chest anymore which was an interesting development. According to Ace, you worked in the morning and took a short walk with Ace before lunch. After eating, you’d work again until the evening when you and Ace would eat dinner and go stargazing or hang out in the house. You’d spoken on the snail a few times, you sounded happy and refreshed. But Ace was up to something and had dragged Sunny into it, Sabo was sure of it. The end of his trip was approaching and Sabo was eager to sail back home and see Sunny. And Ace, of course.

Narrowing his eyes, Sabo wanted to catch Ace in whatever dumbass idea he’d concocted. Sabo was between meetings and ducked into an empty storage room to call. It was nearly lunch, not his normal time to connect with Ace. With luck, Sabo would be able to detect what was going on.

Puru puru puru puru puru puru

“Hey Babo, what’s up?” Ace said, using a childhood nickname Luffy had given him.

“My ‘Ace is doing something stupid’ alarm is going off. Are you doing something stupid?” Sabo asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Almost always. But right now I’m making lunch. Potato salad,” the Ace snail said.

“And where’s Sunny? What’s she up to?” Sunny was an incredibly poor liar, even worse than Ace. With only a little pressure, Sabo would get the truth out of her.

“She’s working in your office, wanna say hi?” Ace asked, the snail throwing a kitchen towel over its shoulder.

“Inna minute. How are you guys doing? How’s she feeling?” Sabo asked, trying to keep from projecting his worries into his voice.

“Good, good. She’s working right now, like always. Sleeping enough, I make sure of it. Eats food, drinks coffee and water ,” Ace said proudly. 

“Alright, put her on.”

“Gimme a sec,” Ace said, the sounds of boots on the wood floor coming through the receiver. Ace pounded on the door three times.

“Yo, Sunny! Wanna -”

“Fuck off Portgas, I’m busy!” you yelled through the door. Sabo’s gut twisted with the ease and familiarity in your voice you used for his brother. He’d been feeling jealous for a few days now even though the jealousy made him feel guilty. He had brought you to the island partially for just this reason - to befriend his brother. And now that the two of you were friendly he was seeing green. Sabo wished you were just as comfortable with him , telling him to fuck off or spending all your meals together voluntarily. Sabo tried to rein his feelings in but it was difficult when he saw that you’d given Ace a haircut, or you were wearing Ace’s old clothes, or saw how well rested you were looking. During the calls between the three of you, it was difficult to contain himself from making snarky comments. Sabo was homesick for you and Ace, his meetings felt endless and the two of you were up to something. He could feel it in his bones.

“Nah, it’s Sabo, c’mon.” Ace urged you. Sabo heard a huff and the door open.

“Fine, but you know the penalty for disturbing me when I’m working,” you said cheerfully as the snail changed its visage to your bright smile. Sabo had never made that smile appear before, he thought.

“Ow! Owww ! That hurts! Stop pinching!” Ace whined in the background as you laughed.

“No, you get five pinches for disrupting my flow. I was moving the mol- er -” you looked at Sabo, afraid you’d almost said something.

“Moving what?” Sabo asked brightly.

“Uh, nothing! Nothing, um just moving the, um, mol- um…mole. The mole,” you finished lamely. Sabo quirked an eyebrow. 

“The mole?” he asked incredulously.

“Yeah, um the mole. It’s um, gotten into the office and um Ace and I have been trying to catch it and I um, oh lunch is ready! I have to go!” you stammered. The snail turned back to Ace, who was laughing into his palm.

“I know you’re up to something dumb and I’m gonna find out what it is. If Sunny gets in trouble because of you…” Sabo trailed off menacingly.

“Ok, love you, see you sooooon!” Ace chirped happily and hung up the snail.

The call ending quickly gave greater credence to Sabo’s theory that some Ace-derived foolishness was afoot. He sighed and leaned back against the nearest crate. He was leaving for the island in a few short days and it couldn’t come quickly enough. 

Your POV

You and Portgas D. Ace stared at the flower-turned-fruit held in the palm of your hand as you sat side by side on the beach. You’d experimented and developed it for the past few weeks almost constantly. You’d worked harder than you ever had in your life, racing to complete the project before Sabo returned in the next few days. True to his word, Ace had locked you out of Sabo’s office at 8 every night but that alone didn’t turn off your brain. For the first few weeks after your discovery, you stayed up late in the night in the darkness of your room, rearranging molecules and perfecting your craft. Ace had figured out you weren’t resting enough and started sleeping on the floor of Sabo’s room to get you to go to sleep. Eventually, you’d invited him into the bed because you were tired of seeing him toss and turn on the hard floor. You enjoyed having a warm body next to you but it wasn’t the same as Sabo’s heat and pleasant aroma.

You weren’t sure if you missed Sabo or not. Ace was fun, dynamic, engaging, and easy to talk to. He made you laugh, either intentionally or from his antics, and he had interesting insight to share. Ace was an endless talker, providing you with background noise to listen to while you walked together. He told you stories about Whitebeard, the Spade pirates, his brothers, anything he could think of. Ace enjoyed your company and would watch you work in Sabo’s office, sometimes falling asleep and snoring to your amusement. You thought you and Ace were friends and you’d miss him when you left the island.

But a little part of you missed Sabo, too. He treated you like you were worth the world, not just what you could make or produce for him. Ace claimed repeatedly that Sabo was romantically interested in you, which always made you flush. You found Sabo attractive and charming, unlike Ace who felt more like a sibling. He was smart and intelligent and enjoyed the same intellectual pursuits that you did. He had kidnapped you but through his actions you’d realized how drained you were from the Marines, subsisting on coffee and loneliness. You had been miserable, sick, and stuck, even if you didn’t see it yourself at the time.

“Hey, your hand’s shaking,” Ace noted, bringing you out of your thoughts.

“Yeah.”

“Haven’t seen that in a while,” Ace mused. You didn’t answer, too nervous about the outcome of your experiment. There was no way to test anything and make sure you’d gotten everything right. You used parts of your other research, Sabo’s hair, Ace’s saliva, and sheer willpower to craft the hideous looking fruit in front of you. It didn’t look like the Mera Mera no Mi, it looked like a sad black sea urchin covered in molten red spots. Your lips were bloody and Ace had bandaged all your fingertips after you bit them too much.

“This is a bad idea,” you said.

“Yeah,” Ace replied.

“It might not work. You might not get any power and you won’t be able to swim.”

“Yeah.”

“It might kill you.”

“Maybe.”

“Sabo will be mad.”

“Furious.”

“You gonna try it?” 

“Yeah,” Ace said, taking the fruit from your sweaty palm. You had the urge to reach out to take the fruit and fling it into the sea, to let life stay the way it was. But Ace’s brow was furrowed and his jaw set, you knew he wasn’t going to hesitate. You held your breath and covered your eyes with your hands as Ace bit into the fruit, scowling as he chewed.

“You got the taste right. Not something you forget,” he joked, trying to lighten your mood. You took a little peek and he hadn’t exploded or projectile vomited. That was a good sign.

“Did it - did it work?” you whispered. Ace ate the fruit in a few bites, one of the advantages to his eating habits, you supposed. He wiped his hands on his yukata and stood up.

“One way to find out,” he grinned, pointing his index and ring finger like the barrel of a gun.

Fire bullets shot out of his hand rapidly, making you scuttle backwards on the beach. He whooped loudly and beat his chest with his fists, screaming at the top of his lungs. Turning and running full force at you, you squealed as he picked you up under your arms and spun you around in circles. His arms were too warm, almost burning you as he laughed wildly and spun.

“Ace! Ace! Too hot!” you yelled into his ear, trying to get him to put you down.

“Ah! Sorry, kinda forgot about that,” Ace said, grinning from ear to ear. He set you down only to give you a huge kiss on your cheek. You couldn’t help but share in his happiness and laughed along with him. He looked so much younger, his face radiating pure joy as he raised his arm to continue testing his strength.

“Hiken!” he yelled, his arm outstretched. A column of flame burst forth from his fist, the raw destructive power it posed sending a shiver down your spine. He turned and winked at you, finger still made of flame. 

“And that’s why they call me Fire Fist Ace.”

Tag list: @mfreedomstuff

[milkb0nny]

Second Option

Pairing: Dean Winchester x neutral!reader

Summary: You’re tired, tired of begging for attention, love and time. You tried your best to support Dean and Sam with their job, making them space and time for those activities. Though at some point, you feel like a leftover mission, and not the priority anymore. Dean had been treating you as if you were invisible, and at some point you snapped.

Note: I craved some angst so here we go, deep down into arguing… I‘m currently taking requests to get back into writing again, so don‘t be shy.

Warnings: established relationship with Dean, cursing, swearing, heavy arguing, shouting

Word count: 1350

You heard the motel door creak open, followed by heavy, dragging steps and the deep, tired sigh of someone who used to walk in with so much more life. You expected this mood already, even though you had hoped it would be different. You turned toward the sound, moving quickly, but the man who once lit up at the sight of you barely looked your way. Another shot, another aching pain in your chest and another moment where you questioned his love for you.

Where you once saw a smile, a mixture of desire and longing, you now faced a distant, cold gaze. Nothing that would charm a romantic person like you. Nothing that would comfort anyone - yet alone you. The eyes, that avoided yours as if meeting them might shatter something fragile, belonged to Dean. That look made your heart sink to the bottom, filling you with a hollow ache.

This situation had been building for weeks, that gnawing weight in your heart did so too. Especially the little moments hurt you; the sting when he turned his back to you in bed or the tears you swallowed because asking for love felt like begging.

Dean barely acknowledged you as he tossed his duffel onto the cluttered bed, already peeling off his jacket to head for the shower. The same routine, the same expression, the same tiring air between the two of you. The brothers’ endless hunts had become a black hole, pulling him farther away from you with every passing day. You watched him enter the bathroom, your chest tightening as you wondered if saying anything would even matter. You’d tried before, only to feel ignored; brushed aside like your feelings were just noise.

But tonight, the silence was crucially suffocating. After some moments where only the sound of water ruled, he finished cleaning all the sweat and dirt off of his body, yet one bother remained sitting in the other room - you.

He stepped out of the bathroom, towel draped over his shoulders, his expression taut with irritation. When he finally broke the quiet, though his words cut sharper than any blade.

“Why aren’t you saying anything? You mad?”

You stared at him, battling for self control. Of course, he couldn’t see it. Of course, Dean Winchester, with his armor of deflection and duty, couldn’t take a moment to notice the pain in your eyes.

“Dean, really?” you began, your voice trembling with frustration. “Do you even realize how you’re talking to me right now? Like I’m some burden you have to deal with?” Again, you felt as if you would just hit a wall. A wall that would push you back into your little corner, a wall that would distance itself in the same moment too. Dean, you wondered, why was he running away from you, when you did nothing but try to love him?

His brow furrowed, confusion giving way to irritation. “How should I know? I was...”

“Working all day,” you snapped, cutting him off. “I know. It’s all you ever do. You haven’t done anything else for weeks!”

The words tumbled out before you could stop them, years of bottled-up anger coming to the surface. Dean threw his towel on the bed, his hands on his hips, his jaw tightening as he stared at you. The tense air intensified, and while you begged and cried, you met someone who didn’t understand you. Oh, where did it all go wrong?

“My job is to hunt! To save lives!” he shouted, his voice ringing out like a slap. His cold tone sliced through you, and for a moment, you forgot how to breathe.

Flashbacks of the person you encountered a year ago popped up, a loving smile, a cocky tongue and someone who would adore and admire you all day. Someone, who you fell in love with - though you felt as if the person in front of you was someone else.

“And what about my life?” you choked, standing now, your hands trembling at your sides. “What about me, Dean? I’ve been begging you for love - begging! And I get nothing. Do you even notice me anymore?”

The tears you’d been holding back for weeks finally broke free, spilling down your face in hot, stinging streams. Your voice cracked under the weight of your pain, the rawness of it echoing in the room. Your face turned so pale, yet you were on fire.

“I’m not just a convenience for you! I’m not some... some chore!”

Dean looked away, his shoulders stiffening, his lips pressed into a thin line. Like a kid, he tried to avoid this uncomfortable conversation, he didn’t want to deal with this right now. He refused to deal with … you. His silence only made it worse, fueling the anger and heartbreak clawing at your chest.

"Bullshit,” he muttered, his voice low but sharp enough to hurt. “Just tell me what you want instead of blowing up at me.”

Your breath hitched. “What I want?” you repeated, your voice trembling with fury. “I want you to think for yourself, Dean. To notice me - to really see me. Should I start wiping your ass too? Would that help?”

The vulgarity in your words shocked even you, but you couldn’t stop. Months of hurt and neglect poured out in a flood. “I’ve been here for you, Dean. I’ve cleaned up after you. I’ve cheered you up. I’ve stayed up waiting for you to talk to me, only for you to shut me out over and over again. But what have you done for me? When was the last time you made me feel like I mattered?”

His face twisted, and for a moment, you thought you saw regret. A little light of hope. But then his voice rose again, defensive and brittle. “Baby, I’m doing my best. We’re in the middle of a war, for God’s sake! The world doesn’t revolve around you!”

You sat down onto the chair as if he’d struck you. The words hit so deeply, they felt physical, leaving you breathless. Weren’t you his tiny world? Didn’t he say that at some point in your relationship?

“A war,” you whispered, tears streaming down your face. “And where am I in that war, Dean? Somewhere at the bottom of your priorities? Another thing you have to take care of? A second option?!”

Your voice broke completely now, your sobs wracking your body as you looked at him, defeated. “I feel lonely. I feel like I’m invisible to you. Like I’m just... a placeholder for something you’ll never have time for.”

Dean took a step forward, but you flinched, shaking your head. He stopped in his tracks, guilt flickering across his face. Now he got it, but was it worth? The cost for this realization was your fragile love, your shared bond, was that the price only to realize he had been wrong? It ached in his chest too, and he felt helpless. Just as you did.

“Babe, I -” His voice cracked, softer now, but it was too late.

You grabbed your jacket, your movements shaky and desperate. It was enough for today. You didn’t want to think about that situation any further. It pained enough already, so why should you force yourself to endure more?

“Where are you going?” he asked, his voice laced with panic.

“I need space,” you said, your voice barely above a whisper. “I need to figure out if this… I don’t know… if we are even worth it anymore.”

The door slammed shut behind you, leaving Dean standing in the emptiness of the room. He stared at the space where you’d been, his chest tightening with a pain he couldn’t name. His eyes burned as he sank onto the edge of the bed, tears slipping down his face.

„Fuck,“ his voice whispered. He would have preferred you to snap at him, but to leave him alone just made everything worse.

For the first time, Dean Winchester felt truly alone. And it was his own damn fault.

[thebomb-thebird-andtheburntbitch]

Wishing On Golden Stars [FINAL]

Kamisato Ayato

k.ayato/fem!reader

genre: isekai, slow burn, fluff, hurt/comfort, humor(?), series

chapter warning(s)!!!: ayato scolds you but thats really it!

chapter w.count: 3.7k

a/n: its finally here! the finale! let's give these fools a happy end, shall we?

When you wake up, it’s properly dark out. There's a cooling sensation on your forehead and you’re snug in a futon. A sense of deja vu washes over you as you hiss at the pounding in your head. At least whatever was on your head tried its best to stave off the headache. Not that its really working all that well.

There’s rustling to your side before the presence of something settles next to your laying form. You crack your eyes open and even though there’s only a few candles lit for visibility in the dark room, the light still makes you suck in a short breath. Electro currents really aren’t to be underestimated it would seem. The deja vu remains stuck to your mind as the cloudy visage of Ayato knelt in front of you clears up in your haze. 

“Do you always make it a habit to stick around when I’m sleeping,” you slur, your voice coming back to you in groggy waves as you try and lighten the frown on his face. He sighs, his shoulders dropping as he places his head on top of the cool cloth on your forehead. Some of the water drips out of the edges of the fabric as he applies pressure. 

He's changed into his night robes and he looks comfortable without all his layers and armored pieces on.

“Only when you make it a habit to worry me,” he counters with a bitter, unamused scoff. You let out a huff as you avert your eyes to the ceiling. 

“It’s not like I try to.” 

“Your track record of staying out of trouble fails to support your claim.” The rag of now lukewarm water that had been heated by both your skin and Ayato’s palm is lifted from your head. The remaining dampness feels sticky on your forehead as the air quickly begins to dry it. “Do you realize how reckless you can be?” His voice has a bite to it that you knew was coming. “Thoma sends you out on a brief errand and you do not return back home all day. Naturally, I would worry.” You don't watch him, but you can hear him dunk the rag back into water and wring the cloth out. “I go to retrieve you from whatever it was that was keeping you, and through various people’s testimonies, I found you outside Konda Village. That itself is not the issue, however.” The rag is placed gently back on your head, the action kind and delicate despite Ayato’s bitter tone. He was clearly upset. “Can you begin to understand the depths of my stomach when I saw you in the middle of a battle on the verge of unconsciousness because you were subjected to injuries?” 

You finally turn your head and look at him. The look on his face is soaked deep in so many emotions. His eyes were scared, his lips snared in a frown, cheeks flushed in anger at the memory. Even his posture was rigid. 

“That was you who showed up?” You knew it wasn’t Aether at the end of it all. Part of you was glad it was Ayato. 

“It was,” he sighs. “Luckily for us both, Aether is more familiar with the Priestess of Sangonomiya Shrine than I. He was able to transport you to her for healing swiftly.” You open your mouth in awe. That would explain that even after being shocked with so much energy, all that ails you was a headache and minor pains. “I shall be in her debt for some time for her service.” 

“I apologize. I didn’t mean to place you into any difficult situations that could strain the Tri-commission and the previous rebellion leader.” Ayato says nothing and you’re not sure if that’s a good thing or not. “I’ll be sure to pay my respects and gratitude to Sangonomiya as soon as I can.” Still, he says nothing in return to your words. He must be angrier than you thought. 

Silence swallows the dim room in a gloomy air. Ayato remains beside you, just staring out of the room’s window while you continue to stare at the ceiling between prolonged blinking. This was the last thing you needed to happen. Talking to Aether gave you the advice, courage and push you needed to come up with an answer to the one thing that had been plaguing you- that being Ayato’s feelings. Out of the corner of your eye, you glance at him. 

Sitting there, he still looks so stupidly beautiful it was envy inducing. How this man saw anything desirable in you when he looks like he could sweep even a God off their feet with a single smile, you’re not sure. In the same breath though, it does inflate your ego to know one of the most powerful men in Inazuma has the hots for you. Then, you frown. 

“Ayato,” you whisper, foregoing his title that has him humming towards your call without looking down at you. “I’m sorry.” His shoulders almost slump. “For worrying you.” 

“Indeed. As you should be.” You almost pout. He could at least try and accept your apology. Still, you’re understanding and know where his emotions are coming from. 

“You must’ve been scared,” you whisper. Afraid that you might be crossing a line in assuming his feelings. The man who had his childhood ripped away from him when his parents passed. The boy who had to grow up in the span of hours to even begin to know how to protect and raise his little sister. The boy who grew up into a man who was probably more lonely than he lets others know. Losing someone he’s confessed love to right in front of him? It must’ve been awful. 

Ayato’s fists clench in his lap. You can see the tensing of his muscles going up his forearm in the corner of your eye. He takes a deep breath in, before holding it and letting it out harshly. 

“Petrified.” His admittance was so quiet you could’ve confused it with the passing wind outside. It’s like your hazy vision clears perfectly when you see the way his face twitches. The Commissioner disappears, even if just for a moment, and all that you see before you is the man, Kamisato Ayato. Fitful, fearful, and so stupidly scared in love. 

You spring up with strength you didn’t know you had in your limbs. The rag on your head flying off towards the foot of your futon. Ayato’s body jolts, shifting back away from your sudden movement. You ignore the dizziness in your head that threatens to push you back into the mattress as you swivel your body towards the pale haired man. Still, your brow twitched at the pang of pain that shoots through you like a current. 

“Do not move like that!” Ayato scolds. 

The Commissioner’s hands move from his lap to grasp onto your shoulders. Whether to steady you or push you back down to rest, you weren’t sure. Maybe both, maybe none; maybe it was just instinctual. Still, it was a chance.

Your hands shoot up, palms latching around his wrists to keep him anchored to you and once again Ayato is faced with your brute strength when he feels shackled onto your body. It wasn’t an entirely unpleasant sensation. 

“Ayato!” You raise your voice firmly, once again dismissing his pedigree and refusing to collect it from the floor on which you throw the title. “I love you,” you boldly declare. You swear he blue screens. “I’ve been thinking about what you told me on the night of the meteor shower; like thinking about it a lot. I wanted to properly answer you, but you’re such an important person in Inazuma- I just needed a lot of time. Time and advice. Thoma and Ayaka were encouraging, but I needed someone like me to talk to. Someone not from Teyvat. Someone like Aether.” 

Ayato watches as you talk and talk and pour your words out like some sort of unclogged drain. Words washing over him like a silken blanket that fell from Celestia, coating him in warmth. 

You feel his arms twitch in your grasp, lifting from your shoulders and you panic. What if he’s changed his mind? What if you had caused him trouble enough times that he was over it?

“Wait-” you scramble when he manages to peel his wrists from your grip. Instead of standing up and leaving you alone on the floor, Ayato’s wrists twist so that he was the one now holding your hands.

His palms were warm. You could fully feel the difference of skin between the heel of his hand that was calloused from swordplay and the deep softness of the dip in his palm. His thumbs run across your knuckles as his hands encase yours. 

“Relax,” he instructs and to your credit, you do try. Ayato can feel the slight tremor in your hands as he holds them. Feel the cool sensation of your nervous skin under his. See the stiff stature of your shoulders and the way your eyes panic at being left. The Yashiro Commissioner is the pro at reading facial and body ques, but even if your squirming is adorable, he won’t let you steep in disconcerting emotions right in front of him. Not right now. “I understand” -he brings your hands up to his chin, clutched fingers resting just under his bottom lip- “you don’t need to worry.” 

“Do you really?” You press, swallowing the lump in your throat. 

“I do.” 

“Ayato-” you’re sure you’re about to start rambling again, words so desperate crawling their way up your throat to explain yourself. Your actions. Your avoidance. And your feelings. All so he could understand crystal clear that how you feel isn’t just because he confessed to you. Or because he was a powerful figure.

These feelings aren’t being coerced out of you or being fabricated because he’s a man of power. You need to tell him that you’ve had these stupid feelings for him for so long- even before he was flesh in blood in front of you and just data inside a computer screen. 

Ayato is a smart man. He knows. He knows what actions, feelings and emotions being pulled out of someone by force looks like. It looks nothing like your flustered expression and shaky hands and glassy eyes. You're being so genuinely cute he wants to combust. 

Chuckling to himself, he sees your jaw drop again. Before anything comes out, he leans forward to place a kiss to your cheek, just below your eye on the apple of your face. He’s sure if you were to smile, he’d feel the skin push up against his lips.

Oh, he hopes he can experience that soon. 

Backing away from your skin, Ayato stays within your breath. Hands still clasped gently- so delicately in his own- between you both. 

“Calm down,” he almost teases you. He watches you take deep, unsteady breathes, and finds your obedience endearing. “Good,” he praises. His suave nature of the situation cracks after you collect yourself from word vomit central as he lets out a deep breath of his own. Letting his head slump down, he rests it on your shoulder. Face turned so his nose was ghosting against your neck. His fingers start tinkering and toying with yours like some sort of fidget toy. 

Nothing else is said for the remainder of the night. Ayato ends up falling asleep on your shoulder and you take it upon yourself to lay your employer and potential lover down to avoid any neck strain. Taking your place back in your futon next to him, you make sure to keep a space between you both. When the sun rises and the air is new, you’d be able to talk things through properly. 

When Ayato opens his eyes the next morning, the sun isn’t the golden color of dawn he’s used to seeing. It’s warm and yellow and from the ruckus outside the door sounds like late morning activities and chores being done. He’s on his back and he knows the ceiling he’s staring at, knowing the futon he’s half on and knows the warmth of the body next to him. Turning his head, he’s convinced that waking up to you is the only thing that he wants for the rest of his time on Teyvat. He’s seen you sleep and rest plenty of times, between being ill and being caught in the middle of battle (albeit the latter is a new experience he strongly dislikes), but this is different. It’s intimate. 

Sitting up, he places one of his hands on your head, careful not to stir you and wake you from the rest he’s sure you need. Even if you didn’t need rest and were completely healthy, he’d be more than accepting if you wanted to spend all day in bed and forget your job completely. Of course, you’d probably just freak out realizing you slept in and hadn’t been earning your keep as part of the Kamisato staff.  

Ayato wonders if you’d still want to be under his payroll if he’s to properly court you? Would that be too risqué? Pursuing a member of his own staff… or perhaps thrilling? 

There's a soft knock on the door you both occupy and he knows that it could only be Thoma or his sister since this was his room after all.  Ayato doesn’t let just anyone interrupt his business in his own personal quarters. 

With his hand still gently playing with your head and twisting your hair around his fingers, he speaks quietly and allows the person entry. Thoma’s head popping in was no shock to the Commissioner. Walking fully past the threshold and into the room, Thoma shuts the door behind him. Giddy and pleased as punch, he sits himself down near his boss and friend. 

“Thoma,” Ayato starts, forgoing any good morning pleasantries. “Would it be considered distasteful to announce y/n as my lover while also keeping them on staff?” 

Instead of acting shocked or repulsed or even confused, the housekeeper cups his chin and closes his eyes as if in deep thought. He hums even, adding to Ayato’s glee. 

“While I personally see no issues with it, others- especially outside of the Yashiro Commission and Kamisato Clan- could potentially see it as something… tacky.” Ayato joins in on Thoma’s air of serious thought. 

“Yes, I could see how that could be taken by others. They could even try and slander y/n’s good name and hard work should I let my guard down.” Then, he scoffs; promptly dismissing the outside opinion entirely. “Pity I care not for public opinion on such important personal matters.” Ayato twists his torso so that he’s looking back down to your sleeping form. His hand moves from your head to your forehead. Finger tracing down the slope of your nose to push against your lips and trail from the corner of your mouth to your cheek and up and around your ear. If he was a blind man, he could still easily see your beauty this way. 

Thoma clears his throat with a flushed face, feeling like he was suddenly intruding. “I’ll go and prepare something easy on the stomach for y/n to eat when she wakes up. Surely she’ll be hungry.” 

“Yes,” Ayato nods, “see to it. After her situation yesterday, we’re not sure how well her stomach will be, so please be mindful with the selection. I shall also eat with her.” Thoma nods, already to standing back up and excusing himself. 

Once alone again, Ayato lays himself back down on his side to just look at you. He’s not sure how much time passes or when your eyes open. Perhaps he zoned out, and just didn’t realize you were now awake looking back at him. 

“You have a staring problem?” You ask him, groggy and cranky just as you always are when you first wake up. He chuckles, bringing a hand up to pinch at your cheek. 

“Don’t be cheeky now,” he hums and you groan, swatting away his hand. He catches your assault and brings your knuckles to his lips, kissing each one delicately and individually. “Good morning.” 

“Who’s being cheeky now,” you mutter but don’t move to pull away from him. Ayato’s exceptionally pleased as he sits up, pulling your arm so you join him. You slip your hand from his and stretch, looking outside and realize that you should probably get up. It hasn’t been that long since you recovered from being sick and now you’re back in bed? That can’t look good to the other staff members.

If you had said that out loud, Ayato would have snickered a cheeky ‘I knew it’ in your face at his initial assumption to the current time and your work.

“Thoma will be back shortly with something for us to eat,” Ayato tells you, seeing you start kicking the covers off your legs. “Stay until then.” 

“I’m kind of sick of eating in bed like a patient. If I have to eat, I’d rather do so at a proper table.” You sigh. While what you say isn’t untrue, the real reason for you wanting to get up was to maybe get out of the futon and get some air. Ayato nods. 

“I see.” He stands to his feet, his clothes that had been well slept in from the night well beyond wrinkled. “Just a moment,” he walks away from you and heads to a pair of sliding doors that reveal more clothes. During the moments he spends rummaging around, you finally realize where you were. Fanning your face, you look away as soon as he starts undressing into something not wrinkled and meant for sleeping. Maybe you could sneak out as he changed- so blatantly- in your presence with his back turned. Being in Ayato’s room made you feel woozy on top of everything else. 

“I’m just going to-” You mutter to yourself, pushing the futon cover off your legs fully. Before you could even get into a position to get up, Ayato’s voice stops you. 

“Stay put.” Looking over your shoulder, he’s not even looking towards you. A new shirt on his torso and fussing with the tassels that hang over his shoulders. You conceded almost immediately, deflating back onto the futon. He struts over once presentable, bends to grab your arm and trail his hand down it to grab your hand before lifting you to your feet. “Now, we can leave.” Ayato leaves his room with you tethered and pulled along by him. 

You pass Thoma with a tray of food set for two and you can tell he’s trying not to laugh at your expense. Everyone who’s within the path is obviously staring at the Kamisato Clan head guiding you through the halls by your hand and the attention makes you squirm and heat up. Clearly, it must be entertaining.

“Thoma, we’ve decided to eat in a proper setting.” 

“Of course!” He’s well ahead of the game and shifts gears to lead you both to the dining room. Ayaka hears rumor of Ayato’s hand holding scene and rushes- as dignified as possible- to join the fun. 

The day goes by in a blur. You’re returned to work, under the strict supervision of Thoma, while the two siblings huddled together in hushed giggles and schemes you were sure is just more trouble. Every time Ayato spied you in the halls or out in the yard, he would come trotting over unrestrained. Saying something quick to you before taking your hand, squeezing it and letting it go. Ayaka shot you giddy looks at any chance she got and Thoma... kept his mouth shut. Mostly because he was the only one who you would probably get away with smacking if it came down to it. 

When night falls, before turning in for bed, you had changed into your night clothes before deciding one more task needed to be done. It wasn’t for you, or maybe it wasn’t even that important, but for Ayato’s sake you wanted to try and ease his worries. You knocked on his door, cradling something in your hand when he slides his doors open to come face to face with you. 

“Y/n,” he smiles. “What brings you here?” 

“Hold out your hands,” your face was hot. Why was this so embarrassing? He does as you say, holding out a single, empty palm. You place what you had into his. 

“A handkerchief?” He questions. Was this a custom from your world maybe? He takes the folded cloth and starts unfolding it before his eyes widen at what was being held inside of it. 

“You can keep that. It’s” -you wring your hands- “It’s hard to explain, but I think this is part of the reason I found myself in Inazuma. Maybe if you keep it with you, you’ll feel better about things.” Ayato’s free hand comes to grab the small, circular piece of purple and blue twined bead-sized ball. It felt light like candy and reminded him of the stars the night before he met you.

It was the very same item he somehow knew you had in your pocket when he saw you in the Tenryou prison cell for the first time. “I don’t have all the answers on how I got here, or why. And I can’t make any promises that I won’t end up… leaving..?” You scrounge around for more reassuring words but fall short. “For what it’s worth though, I want to stay. Here. With you.” 

Ayato’s hand curls around the piece of fate and brings his fist up to his lips. Smiling with his eyes, crows feet crinkle his skin. He grabs your wrist and drags you into his room for the second night in a row, sliding the door shut at your back. The candle he has lit is soon extinguished afterwards and you don’t come back out. 

It took all of one, simple day for rumors to run around the estate, and even beyond its walls, that Kamisato Ayato had finally shown romantic interest in someone. Rumored still that the person he’s supposedly now courting is not only someone he picked up from a prison cell years ago and not from Inazuma, but is one kept on his payroll. 

None of that mattered though. Not when he’s able to look up and watch the next meteor shower with you, holding your hand instead of worrying you’d fly away with them at the end of it all. That’s all he wants; you, safe and happy with him in his home with his family.

And Kamisato Ayato usually gets what he wants. 

-END-

a/n pt.2: if you've decided to take the time to read through 9 parts of an insanely messy ayato fanfiction, words can't describe my appreciation! i worked pretty hard on this series and seeing it come to an end makes me feel satisfied. It's not the most popular by far, but its finished and for those who read it- i thank you from the bottom of my heart <3

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[notjustjavierpena]

Terror

Series Masterpost | Main Masterpost | Support a disabled creator

A/N: By popular demand! This turned awful in my brain very quickly. I know instantly that this won’t be everyone’s cup of tea, so please read the tags before jumping into this. Not everything is fun and games for hubby. 

Summary: Javier doesn’t think that he has nightmares about Colombia anymore until he suddenly does. The difference is that he also has you and the family that you have given him.

Pairing: Javier Peña x f!reader (no y/n)

Tags: +18, graphic description of gun violence, some gore, PTSD night terrors, major character death (but not really), panic attacks, domestic, cuddles, hurt/comfort, family time, love confessions, pregnant reader dies in this dream

Word count: 2.6k

Link to this work on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54592621

Terror

Javier searches and searches to no avail. He walks with frantic determination between burning cars and bullet shells, occasionally hitting the latter with the tips of his shoes so they go cascading down the asphalt with a clinking sound. He doesn’t trip on them though, as his steps are sure, moving around the chaotic scene of the aftermath of an ambush by grabbing at whatever he can to push himself forward. 

He knows where he is but he doesn’t remember getting here, and he has no clue if he was involved in the shooting that has evidently occurred here. However, when he looks down at himself, he finds no bullet wounds and no tactical gear either. So why does he think that you are here? He yelps as he accidentally grabs the hood of a car that seems to have been burning for a while, the metal so hot that it scorches his skin. The heat radiating from the vehicle makes his body prickle with sweat, his shirt clinging uncomfortably to his skin that is riddled with damp sweat from anxiety. He clutches his burnt hand and continues down the never-ending street. 

Where are you? Where are they? He searches through several empty cars, nearly ripping the doors off of their hinges to get to you quicker. Perhaps you know where they are but he doesn’t even know where you are. 

When he gets to what feels like the hundredth car, finally reaching the end of the road that somehow resembles a labyrinth despite only moving forward, panic has started to rise in his throat. He calls for you but you don’t answer, and then he calls for Lucas in case he has managed to hide himself and his sibling somewhere. 

“Lucas! It’s alright, it’s just me!” He yells out but it’s just the echo of his own voice that answers him, “You can come out now, it’s over, te prome— (I promi—).”

Javier has turned the corner. It is the sight of Horatio Carrillo’s face that makes him realize that this isn’t real. Carrillo is dead, and he has been for nearly twenty years. Javier will never forgive himself for not having been there. He should have been there with everyone. It should have been him; he had had nothing waiting for him back in Laredo. 

In front of him, a row of children and teenagers are kneeling but he doesn’t recognize any of their faces. He has seen this scene before. He remembers doing nothing back then, and the thought is enough to make his gut twist with guilt and nausea even if nothing could have been done to change Carrillo’s attitude towards the kids. He hears a gunshot and a young child falls to the ground, head split open from the way the bullet has torn through soft, young flesh. He flinches in a way that he didn’t back then, in a way that only a man who is a father can. 

Carrillo’s blank and indifferent stare terrifies him to the point where he wishes that he could wake up. It is clear that this is a nightmare, so why hasn’t he woken up yet? Aren’t you supposed to wake up when you have figured it all out? He tries pinching his arm but nothing happens, and the claustrophobia of being stuck in his own head makes his chest constrict and his heart, too big for his rib cage by now, hammer with the speed of a hummingbird’s wings. 

The stare he is watching is not one of being rid of emotion but rather the look that washes over a face when the person it belongs to is dead. His old colleague is standing in front of him in a zombie-like state and Javier cannot shake the feeling that Carrillo looks less like a person and more like a thing. 

“Carrillo,” he says sternly. On the ground, the blood oozes towards his feet and he shifts to avoid it soaking through his shoes. 

His colleague turns to him but doesn’t say anything. He still has the weapon in his hand, arm stretched out, and pointing the gun at the row of innocent children. Javier speaks quietly despite his anxiety, “C’mon, they’re just kids. Look at them; they’re just ki—“

He turns to look at the kneeling figures but the faces aren’t unknown to him anymore. His blood runs cold at the sight of his eldest son who has his arms stretched out to hold Inés close to his body, effectively shielding her from any shot that may be coming at her at any moment. 

“Lucas,” he croaks, “¿Dónde está tu madre (Where is your mother)?”

“I don’t know, Dad,” his son replies, “I’m scared.” 

“I know, don’t worry, I— I’m gonna take care of it,” he replies with a dizzying heartbeat followed by the urge to throw up. 

It’s then that you appear too. His heart skips a beat as you materialize right behind your kids, pregnant with his child and vulnerable as tears stream down your cheeks. Your arms are in front of you, wrapped around your children as you try to protect them while whimpering in a way that makes Javier more than desperate. He tries to sound more assertive than anxious but listening to his own voice, he doesn’t feel very successful. He turns back to Carrillo who hasn’t moved the firearm even an inch, “For fuck’s sake, get that gun away from my family!”

“Están trabajando para Escobar, Peña. Si quieres justicia, entonces esta es la única manera (They are working for Escobar, Peña. If you want justice, this is the only way),” is the only reply he gets. Carrillo spits at the ground.

Javier takes a step forward but suddenly, a shot is fired at his feet and he is forced to jump back with his hands in the air. His eyes are pleading, his voice wavering, “Jesus Christ, Carrillo, they’re not working for him. Put the damn gun down! They’re mine. They are my kids. You’re pointing a gun at my wife!”

Lucas shifts on his spot on the ground. His knees can barely hold himself up anymore, gravel gnawing at his kneecaps but Javier holds out a hand to stop him, “Don’t move, mijo (my son). I know you’re scared but—“

But Lucas’ eyes are wet with terrified tears. He panics, throws himself to the side to crawl away and the ghost of Javier’s previous colleague seems to come to the conclusion that it is too risky to attempt a shot in the boy’s direction in case he misses, so instead—

Javier flinches at the loud sound of the gun going off. You lie on the ground in the next moment. He lets out a cry of anguish, crawling across the gravel road to get to you until his hands are scraped and his knees are dirty. The love of his life and his unborn child.  

“No,” he yells as tears spring from his eyes. He clutches at you whilst you breathe rapidly and try to hold onto him as well but your grip is slowly loosening on him with every beat of your heart. He can see the way your pulse slows in how your clothes soak slower and slower, knows where it is going. You try to say something but he cannot understand it, your voice having been replaced by gurgles of blood, “No don’t try to talk, baby. Shit, I— look, it’s not even that bad. Shh, it’s okay, baby. It’s not even that bad, it’s fine, you’re gonna be fine, mi vida (my life). You and the baby. I promise.” 

The same blank stare as the one that Carrillo sports washes over your face. He says your name over and over, “Mi amor (my love), no, no, look at me. No, no, no no no.”

Inés has started screaming in panic. She’s crying for you in the most heart-wrenching manner, terrified when you don’t react to her words like you always do. Her pitch climbs with each passing second but Javier has no strength to soothe his daughter because he yells your name until it feels like he cannot breathe. 

Lucas yells for his mother in the background. The agony of hearing his children cry mixed with hearing you say nothing is too much for him. He panics, shakes you violently— 

He jolts awake in the next moment to the sound of your voice. Fear still has him in its grip and leaves him disoriented, ready to fight whatever comes his way. He hyperventilates until he feels lightheaded and tries to figure out where he is, beads of cold sweat having collected on his forehead during his restless sleep.

“Javi,” you say with a hand on his shoulder and he whips his head around to face you. A moment ago, your eyes had been glazed over by death.

Immediately, he grabs your wrist in an iron grip. You place your other hand on top of his, speaking softly, “Javier. Let go.”

“Are you alright?” He chokes out and grips you harder, eyes wild in the dimly lit bedroom. He wants to run a million miles, “Are you alright?” 

“I am okay, baby. We’re both safe,” you reassure him with a hand on your pregnant belly. Tears start to roll down his cheeks. He is unable to shake the image of you lying dead on the ground, “Shh…”

“Are you sure?” He whimpers, eyes flickering from your face to your stomach and back to your face again. 

“Yes. It was just a bad dream. It was just a nightmare,” your voice is still ever so gentle and nowhere near the way it had been in his state of terror. He releases the clutch on your arm and you carefully run a hand over his forehead, “Breathe. Hold my hand. Tell me you love me.”

You offer your free hand to him and he carefully takes it, trying to convince himself that you won’t slip away from him in the dark bedroom. You squeeze his hand slightly. It’s a silly thing you came up with years ago. 

“I love you,” he says quietly, already feeling a little better but when you say it back ever so gently, he finds himself bursting into tears. He cries and it is the kind that comes from the very bottom of one’s lungs; frantic and breathy sobs that sound almost painful.

He thought that the nightmares had stopped. They had been bad when he first met you, and he connected it to his decreasing alcohol consumption because back in Colombia, he was sometimes too boozed up to even dream. However, meeting you - marrying you - had been a glimpse into a future where he could get better because you were together. So why does his brain still do this once in a while? 

“Pensé que te había perdido para siempre (I thought I had lost you forever),” he sobs when you engulf him in your arms. He rests his head against your soft chest, grabbing onto whatever he can of you to make sure you are real. It’s only times like these when his strong, broad hands feel unsure on your skin. 

“Oh, baby. I’m right here,” you rock him carefully in a way that a mother does, “I’m not going anywhere, te prometo (I promise you).” 

“No puedo vivir sin ti (I can’t live without you),” he continues. You reassure him that he won’t have to, that by then, someone will have discovered eternal life or made all of you into kind-hearted robots. Despite the chuckle he lets out, you also let him cry for as long as he needs to. 

It takes you a while to calm him down again, resting your chin on top of his head as he lets himself fall into you instead of going out of his mind. He mumbles, “Where are the kids? Where’s Inés?”

“They’re in bed,” you promise him, arms cradling him and rubbing his back until his breathing starts to slow again, “They’re okay. They’re just asleep.”

Except they are not asleep. Your hand stops moving on his back, and he looks up at you to find your eyes on the door. 

“Inés. Lucas. Stop standing at the door,” you say gently. 

“Sorry,” they say in unison.

Relief floods Javier’s system at the sound of his children’s voices. His chest expands as he breathes in deeply for what feels like the first time since he woke up. He watches their little faces, hears the click of the lamp on your nightstand as you turn on the light. 

“Is Daddy okay?” Inés asks carefully. Her eyes tell Javier that he has noticed the tears on her father’s face.

“We heard you yelling,” Lucas elaborates to his father, “Inés didn’t want to go in here alone. I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologize, sweetie,” your voice is sweet and calm. It is in these moments that he loves you the most; when you prove to be the anchor in any storm, knows that the only times he might actually get a good night's rest is when you are right here beside him. 

“Come here, mis amores (my loves),” he scoots a little away from you to open his arms. His children look uncertain for a moment but then Inés rushes forward to climb into bed and into his embrace. Lucas follows a moment after, the both of them earning a kiss on top of their heads. 

Inés’ eyes are wide as she stares up at him, “Papá, you scared me.”

“I had a bad dream,” he explains to both of them and attempts to smile, pulling them closer to his chest. They make faces as they are squished but he doesn’t let go, “but I’m okay now. I’m sorry for waking you.”

“Then why are you crying?” Lucas gets out of the embrace to study his face, shocked to see the tears running down until they drip down from his chin. 

“Daddy! You are crying!” Inés parrots her older brother as she notices too. She kneels in front of her father and tilts her head. 

“I am?” He asks, pretending not to know. Inés’ tiny hand reaches to wipe a few tears away without much success and his heart clenches in his chest with how lucky he feels to have such a beautiful family. 

“It’s okay to cry,” Lucas explains softly, “That’s what Mom says.”

“Alright, let’s give your father some space,” you lock eyes with your husband, cup his cheek for a moment before brushing away the last traces of tears from his face with the back of your hand. He smiles at you and it is completely genuine for the first time. 

“I don’t want to sleep,” Inés protests loudly.

“What if you both sleep in here for the rest of the night?” You bargain whilst still smiling at Javier, however a little more goofily now, “Just for tonight.”

Lucas is already crawling under the covers to cuddle up next to you, and Inés lays down next to her father. It takes a moment of quiet chatter and soothing caresses to make them both fall asleep again, their bodies exhausted from being awake in the middle of the early hours of the morning. 

Javier can’t fall back asleep but from the way you breathe, he can tell that sleep hasn’t found you either.

Outside, the first light of dawn has begun to filter through the curtains. There’s a warmer glow in the room now, and he peeks at you from where he lies, looking like someone catching a glimpse of their crush. 

"I love you," he whispers, his voice barely audible. 

You turn your head to face him and smile tenderly, the morning glow illuminating you from behind. You are so beautiful, he thinks, beautiful and pregnant, and he is so lucky. 

Your voice is filled with genuine happiness, warm and loving. You look down at your sleeping children, place a hand on your bump, and then look back up at him, "We love you too.”

.

.

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[dreaming-medium]

Animals Without Direction

Chapter Forty: Mortal's Touch

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Masterlist

WARNING: CHAPTER CONTAINS GRAPHIC DEPICTIONS OF TORTURE.

“We are going to try a different approach, little mouse,” Allerick’s rough voice reaches your ears. You can barely hear him over your own heartbeat hammering away in your skull as if it resides there.

A fistful of your hair is yanked upwards and your limbs scramble to meet the movement. Your mangled ankle screams in agony. The bones aren’t healing right.

Unceremoniously, you’re dragged to the middle of the cell. Allerick’s hold on your hair is the only thing that’s really keeping you standing. The muscles in your legs are no longer strong enough to keep you upright on their own.

“Skye, bind her hands to the ceiling. I have an idea.”

Up until about three hours ago, all the torture that you were being put through was at Seungmin’s command. It was your typical torture methods: punches, whips, waterboarding, choking, everything under the sun. 

Three days of non-stop torture have plummetted your mind into a headspace you’re not sure if you’ll ever come out of. All you know is pain and suffering anymore. 

Just like Seungmin had begged you, you had come up with tiny, fake pieces of information to tell to them, acting as if it’s real. But it was nothing even remotely useful.

When Allerick had grilled you on the whereabouts of camps on Miroh’s northern border, you had told him the name of one farm nowhere near any of Miroh’s forces. 

It was the only thing your mind could come up with in its pain-swallowed haze. You’re not even sure if it’s the name of a real farm.

What did you call it again? Oak…? Oak Frost…? Gods, you hope they don’t ask you to repeat it again. Did Allerick even believe you when you had said it the first time?

Seungmin walks towards you with a large bundle of rope in his hands.

Both of the men were sweating and disheveled from the hours upon hours of interrogation they’ve been putting you and Hyunjin through. The top buttons of Seungmin’s tunic are undone and his shirt is untucked from his trousers.

Sweat has his hair sticking to his forehead which he keeps pushing off his face, only for it to come down and stick to his skin once more. 

He grabs your wrists and ties you to a hook hanging from the ceiling. Your entire body feels like it somehow weighs a thousand pounds despite your emaciated state. Not that you would be able to stand on your ankle anyway. When Allerick releases your body and they both stand back, your head falls forward and the binds are the only thing keeping you up now.

Your shoulders already feel sore. The rope digs into your wrists. Your bare feet barely touch the ground.

It feels like you’re no more than a prized pig hanging in the back of a butcher shop. 

Allerick walks over towards Hyunjin, his hand reaches out and he yanks him up by the shirt collar and throws him into a wooden chair about five feet away from your hanging body.

“I have come to a realization,” he says, moving around Hyunjin’s body and bringing his wrists behind the chair and binding them. “Obviously, the two of you are much stronger than we anticipated.”

The mage is just as broken as you are. 

Truthfully, you don’t know how either of you are still alive. You also don’t know if it’s a blessing or a curse that you’re not dead yet. 

Hyunjin looks up and meets your eyes with his. His skin is gaunt and looks paper thin, his pupils seem to be permanently dilated. His chest moves slowly as his lungs try to take in oxygen.

The two of you just stare at one another.

He’s your only comfort in this pocket dimension of the Void. 

Yes, Seungmin is here; and he slips you food and water when no one is looking, he comes down to your cell in the wee hours of the morning to treat your wounds in ways that no one will notice.

But only Hyunjin knows what you’re going through. So, when your eyes meet, wordless conversations take place each time. Silent support is conveyed just through weak blinks.

“But everyone has a weak spot,” Allerick growls. He slowly walks over to the cell door, wiping the sweat off of his brow. He leans forward and murmurs something to the guard on the other side of the bars before turning back towards you.

Under normal circumstances, you probably would have been able to hear what he said, but not anymore. Now, everything sounds like someone has their hands over your sensitive ears. There’s always a faint ringing in them as well, slowly driving you mad.

“I believe I figured something out.” Suddenly, Allerick’s voice is even deeper, even more evil sounding. You didn’t even know it was possible for him to become scarier than he is at this moment. 

Seungmin moves just as slowly, standing behind you. He’s so close, you can feel his hot exhales on your clammy skin. When you try to swallow, it feels like sandpaper and an involuntary whimper comes from your lips.

A large hand winds through your hair and roughly yanks your head backwards. An even louder whine of pain comes out of your mouth. At the same time, cold metal presses against your neck. You don’t even need to see it to know it’s a dagger.

At the same time, you hear Hyunjin suck in a large gasp of air through his teeth. 

Allerick’s voice comes from directly next to your ear. “See that?” he rasps. His hot breath fans over your cheek and you want to recoil, but your muscles won't listen. “I know not why I did not see this sooner.”

Seungmin shifts from his spot next to you, moving around to stand more in front of you.

The gears of your mind try to spin, but the cogs wont lock. What is he talking about? What weak spot? You’re sure you don’t have one. At least, not one that you’ve made known. 

Behind you, the cell door opens and Allerick clicks his tongue once. His hand in your hair tightens more and more, causing you to wince and hiss. 

“Watch the mage,” Allerick instructs Seungmin.

After he says that, he presses the dagger into the skin of your neck more and more. The pressure gets greater and greater until you feel it pierce your skin and blood trickles down your throat.

Weakly, you whine in pain and try to squirm away from him, but to no avail.

It’s a sharp, searing pain. No matter how many wounds they inflict on your body, they all hurt so badly. There has been no getting used to the sensations, everything just hurts. Your body feels so achy everywhere, it just amplifies the agony.

Gasps fill the air as you try to recoil.

Hyunjin’s voice breaks through the haze. “Stop.. stop !” he croaks. His voice is so different from what you remember. In your memories it’s melodic and smooth, like he’s somehow talking in script. But now, his voice is no more than a boot scraping over cobblestone. 

A dark chuckle hits your ear.

The dagger is taken away from your neck and you let out a shaky breath. The blood drips down your skin, down past the collar of your tunic and smears onto your bruised skin.

“Our little mouse may not have a weakness. But the mage does.”

Seungmin shifts in the corner of your eye. 

The heat from Allerick’s body disappears for a moment and he walks around behind you. His boots thud dully on the stone floor. 

“I heard something interesting, little mouse,” he starts. “About two months ago, you had a run in with a few of our scouts just over the border into Miroh’s territory, no? You and the Court Diplomat.”

He’s talking about the incident with you and Jisung.

A dull ache rips through your leg at the memory of being stabbed and poisoned. Flashes of Felix drawing the poison out of your body flick through your mind like phantoms. The burning pain that tore through your veins was one of the worst pains you’ve ever experienced. 

The rogue stays silent, watching your face carefully and then looking over at Allerick, waiting to hear him speak. 

“When other scouts found the bodies, they noticed a particular dagger on the ground. An Erban dagger. We thought nothing of it.” Closer and closer, he steps towards you. “Then, an inside source says that Jarl Bang’s Mercenary suffered a near death injury. A stab to the thigh with a poison dagger. Now, even a fool can put those pieces together.”

A moment of silence rings through the cell. Condensation drips from the ceiling down into a puddle. 

Allerick steps forward into your field of view. His hand reaches out and grabs your chin with a shockingly gentle grasp. Still, you flinch away from him. 

He sucks his teeth and guides your eyes to meet his.

Oh, those eyes. Those beautiful eyes. They used to hold so much love and compassion. They used to glint in the sunlight when he sparred with you on those warm June afternoons. Whenever your stance would slip and the weight of the sword would carry you in a circle, his hearty laughter used to make you giggle with him.

“I taught you better than to leave weapons around, poisoned or not,” he scolds you. His tone is so soft, it’s just like you remember. “How could you be so foolish, little mouse? A simple stab wound? You know better.”

A memory flashes through your mind. The day that he taught you how to parry. The two of you were outside the entire day. 

That same day, the baker was testing a new recipe that he just couldn’t perfect. He gave you and Allerick all of his attempts. Countless dozens of sweetbreads were eaten that day.

From all the sugar, you both stayed in the yard until the moon was high in the sky.

“I taught you better than to let your guard down like that.”

You’ve shed so many tears in the last few weeks. Tears of sorrow, pain, exhaustion, anguish.

But the ones welling up in your eyes right now? They’re tears of heartbreak.

Allerick pauses for a moment, his eyes scanning over yours, watching as your tear ducts fill. Something flashes across his face for a moment, something completely unreadable. His nose twitches and his eyes seem to shake.

His grip on your chin falters for a moment and then he takes a step to the side, clearing his throat thickly. 

“How did that wound feel, little mouse?” he whispers. “Burned, aye?”

Weakly, you nod, using every ounce of strength you have to keep your head up.

Allerick nods in agreement, circling around your body. “There is one thing about Elves that is just so… obnoxious . One thing that bothers me more than the rest. Do you know what that is, Skye?”

“Nay,” Seungmin responds immediately. “What?”

There’s a flash of movement and you feel a quick, paper-cut like pain slice at your cheek. A hiss of breath sucks through your teeth and you flinch away from it. A hand grabs your chin, fingers pressing into your cheeks.

“Watch,” Allerick grumbles.

After a few seconds, the pain is gone.

“Look how fast the dagger ears heal.” His voice is low. “It is not fair. Now is it?”

“Nay,” Seungmin repeats.

Allerick releases your face and walks around behind you. “Erbus noticed this problem long ago. It was not until recently that we came up with a… solution .” He chuckles. “I have heard my men refer to it by a few different names. ‘The Equalizer’, 'Ralios’ Remedy’, ‘Void Toxin’...”

Seungmin sucks in a quiet breath. Hyunjin’s eyes widen. Both of them are looking behind you. Fear courses through your body and makes your heart skip a beat.

The poison. The poison!

“My favorite by far has been ‘Mortal’s Touch’.” Allerick walks slowly behind you until he comes around, standing right in front of you, blocking your view of Hyunjin. His gaze travels all over your face in a way that makes your skin crawl.

“Because that is what it does, little mouse. It makes you just like us. Just like us mortals. You know, the ones your entire kind like to look down upon?”

Allerick holds up a small bottle, the tincture is completely black. A sharp shiver runs down your spine just looking at the vile liquid. Even in your exhausted state, you recoil; your body moves away from it, driven by pure fear and the phantom memory of the pain it put you through.

“Our alchemists really outdid themselves with this, I have to say. In small amounts it only stunts an Elf’s healing abilities. But in larger doses, like the one you received, little mouse, it is absolutely lethal.” He snickers and then, after a moment, lets out a sigh. “I have heard the burning pain is insurmountable.” 

A small, terrified whine comes from your body as you continue to hold your body away from the little bottle. You look like a caged animal with the way you’re shrinking away from it. 

“Would you like to know who we tried it on first?” Allerick looks at you, then turns to Hyunjin, then back to you again. “Bang sent a messenger with his measly declaration of war.”

Your heart drops through the floor.

That poor little boy. He was so broken and bruised that not even Felix could fix him. That.. That ooze that was coming from his wounds. The poison that drove Felix mad… It was Mortal’s Touch.

Again, you feel another crack spider web in your heart thinking about that young Elf. 

“How ironic that you were the second victim.” An evil snicker comes from his lips.

The air in the room feels so hot despite it being the dead of winter. A few days ago, you thought that the cold was going to be the death of you. Now, sweat drips down your back and drenches your tunic, making it stick to your body.

“It is such a shame, you know.” Allerick’s free hand comes up and cups your cheek. You desperately try to move out of his grasp, your eyes wide and your body trembling. “To have survived this poison, you must be so much stronger than I thought…”

His look turns wistful, like he’s remembering old times. “I had hope when I heard you were the one we captured, little mouse. I had thought that maybe… just maybe I could convince you to come back to Erbus, come back home and join us. How wonderful would it have been to have you by my side again…”

After shaking his head, he continues. “It would have been like old times… I would have taught you all the new techniques they taught me in the Jarl’s guard. We could have taken on the world together…”

His eyes darken as his chin dips and he bares his teeth. Suddenly, his grip gets tighter and tighter, his fingers digging into the delicate skin on your cheek. “Now imagine how I felt when I learned the truth about you. It made me sick to my stomach to learn that my little mouse is nothing but a filthy, rotten, vile little creature.” With each word, his voice gets louder and his nails begin to dig into your skin.

Hissing, your neck cranes away from his hand but it's to no avail, his grip is too tight.

“You were perfect, Y/N. Absolutely perfect, you rotten thing! You wasted my time… my resources… my gold. All for naught on a fucking Elf. ”

His words hurt more than his grasp.

More tears prick at your eyes. It’s like a knife is being continuously plunged through your chest. 

“Do you know how many days I gave you my meals instead of eating them myself? I sacrificed my own health for a disgusting little creature. Your kind truly is nothing but scum.”

He takes another step closer to you. “I wanted to come back. I desperately wanted to come back to recruit you, Y/N, I did. But I guess Ralios was looking over me since he made sure I did not return to that dank little village.”

“Allerick…” you croak out with a sniffle.

His hand reels back and just as quickly as it left, a sharp punch is thrown right into your jaw. Your head snaps to the side as pain blossoms across your skull.

If you let out a cry, you don’t hear it over the cracking of your own heart. 

“Do not say my name,” he mutters darkly. “Do not ever let it grace past your lips again.”

The tears fall down your cheeks and a sob wracks your chest. Allerick laughs.

“Cry all you want, little mouse. It does not erase who you are or what you stole from me,” he growls and throws another punch directly into your gut. It’s a miracle your stomach doesn’t empty onto the floor. “I could have taken any one of the street urchins under my wing, but I chose you! You rotten fucking liar!” 

Another punch to the face and this time you’re sure you let out a wail.

You’re not even sure what hurts more, hearing him finally let out the words you knew he was thinking or the punches that he’s landing on your already brittle and broken body. 

“I treated you like you were my daughter! My sister! My little protege!”

This isn’t even torture. There’s no question for you to answer to make this attack stop.

“Nothing but a criminal! Scum! Trying to blend in with society! Trying to mask who you are!”

If it wasn’t for the ropes, you would be a heap on the floor. But they’re painfully keeping you upright to receive every single one of his blows.

His knuckles are red.

Whose blood is it? Yours or his?

What does it matter?

His fist pulls back and before he can swing again, another hand stops it. 

“Enough!” Seungmin roars, shoving Allerick away from you. “This is not helping anyone!”

Allerick’s expression shifts dramatically, going from rage to surprise, then back to plain, evil malcontent. He clears his throat and wipes his hand off on his already ruined tunic.

He then shoves off Seungmin and grabs a dagger from his belt, popping open the tincture while keeping his eyes on you.

Sobs continuously tear through your chest. They’re deep, coming from some hidden, locked away part of your soul. When your head hangs down, the tears no longer flow down your cheeks, they fall right off your face and onto the floor.

There was always some hope in the back of your mind that you would run into Allerick again one day. In your imagination, it was always at a tavern.

You would be sitting at the bar with a mug of ale, perhaps chatting with a companion or another patron when you would feel a warm hand clasp your shoulder. Then, when you turned your head, you would be greeted with a brilliant smile and a–

“Little mouse,” Allerick growls, bringing you back to reality. “I think it is time we finally got some answers.”

His fingers move to put a few drops of Mortal’s Touch on his dagger.

Whimpers and whines of fear and panic come tumbling from your lips. “N-No…” you cry desperately pulling on the ropes around your wrists. “No, please!”

It’s like you can feel the burning in your leg once more. Suddenly, you’re back in Miroh on the dining table, all of your limbs held down to the wood while you scream for mercy. 

“No!” you cry as Allerick steps forward towards you. “No, no, no! Get away from me!” Your legs scramble for purchase on the floor, but you can barely find a grip. Every ounce of weight you put on your ankle makes the bone feel like it’s breaking all over again.

Behind him, Seungmin’s eyes widen and all the color drains from his face. 

In all the time that you’ve been in this cell, never once have you begged for mercy. Never once have you so much as pleaded for them to leave you alone. To stop.

But the very sight of this poison has you turning into a little girl crying out for her mother. 

His entire body shifts for a second and he has to take a step backwards to catch himself. Your begging and pleading is affecting him more than he should let on.

“No! No! Please!” you wail. Your voice doesn’t even sound like you, you’re so broken. “M-Mercy!”

“We are well past mercy now, rat.” Allerick goes around behind you and grabs a fistful of your tunic, pulling it up to reveal your emaciated abdomen. He brings the dagger around you and holds it against your stomach. “Besides–”

The blade is so cold it feels like it’s burning into your skin.

“My questions are not for you, anymore. They are for the mage.”

Hyunjin’s eyes, which have not left your face, widen even more. You watch the panic settle into his features and he weakly tugs against his binds in the chair. 

Oh . It’s come to this.

“Your fellow Elf here is going to tell us where your northern camp is or else–” His sentence ends with him turning the blade and holding the sharp edge against your skin. You let out a startled yelp.

“No! No! No, please! Please! By the S-Six!”

Hyunjin’s mouth drops open and he shakes his head. “N-No.. I… I…”

“No? Very well.” 

Without waiting another second, Allerick cuts a wound across your abdomen, right below your belly button.

The pain is instant. 

It’s searing, burning, excruciating. It shoots right down your legs.

The veins in your neck pop out as you scream at the top of your lungs. The sheer volume makes your own ears hurt. It echoes down the halls of the prison and shakes some of the dust off the stones. 

“Y/N!” Hyunjin calls out with a sob. His body folds in half as he leans forward as much as his binds will allow him. 

It’s like fire is injected into your veins. It’s just as fucking horrible as you remember. It hurts just as bad as every memory of that day. 

“Stop! Stop!” Hyunjin pleads. Tears begin streaming down his face as his own veins pop out of his neck from straining against the ropes. 

“Let us try again, mage! Where is the northern camp?!” Allerick screams over your wails, moving the dagger down right under the first wound which is oozing blood.

Instead of answering, Hyunjin only lets out a loud cry of anguish. Allerick doesn’t wait again, he slashes right across your body once more. 

This scream is just as loud as the first once, if not louder. They sound the same as they did that night when you thought you were going to shatter all the windows in Miroh’s Keep. Except this time you don’t have Chan’s hand running through your hair, whispering that everything is going to be okay.

After a few seconds, another gash is ripped into your skin just above the first one.

This time, you don’t have Jisung and Seungmin holding down your legs while yelling out comforting words as the poison was removed from your body. 

It feels like your vocal chords are going to collapse after the next wound is inflicted. The poison infected blood flows down your stomach and leaks into the other wounds, ripping them open over and over again every second. 

This time, there’s no Minho holding down your wrists and gazing at you with more concern than you’ve ever seen on his face. 

Bile rises in your throat after the next wound and you throw your head forward just in time for it to flow onto the floor at your feet. The word ‘pain’ doesn’t even feel like enough to describe what you’re feeling.

This time, you don’t have Felix– lovely, sweet, adoring Felix, working harder than he has in his life to make sure that you survive. No one is here in this godless cell.

Are you even screaming anymore? All your brain knows is pain, pain, pain.

Your vision goes from blurry, to white, to black, to clear over and over again while you scream to the high heavens. 

Every soul in Olera must hear you at this rate. 

“ Where is the camp, mage?! ” Allerick screams at Hyunjin who lets out his own cry of anger, frustration, and mental anguish.

Another gash is slashed across your stomach and you swear that you feel a snap in your throat. The taste of iron floods your mouth and your screams no longer carry the same volume. 

Your wrists feel as though they’re on fire from the ropes digging into them. 

In a split moment, you manage to capture a glimpse of Seungmin who seems to have slumped against the wall, leaning all his weight on one arm as he looks down at the floor. The other hand is covering his ear.

Make it stop, please! Make it stop! Make this end!

Why can’t you just die already?

“ HOLLYPOND FARM! ” Hyunjin’s voice is raw, stripped bare of any emotions other than anguish. You’ve never heard anything like it in your life. 

The dagger does not cut you again. 

Instead, it cuts the ropes that you hung from.

Your body collapses to the ground like no more than a sack of dirt. You never thought you’d see the day where you’d be relieved to have your head crack against stone.

------------------------------------------

You’re already crying before you wake up.

There is no combination of words you can put together that accurately describe the agony you feel. 

If you were to be tied and roasted over a spitfire, you’re sure it would hurt less than this.

Your body is trembling and cries are tearing your horribly sore throat. 

And despite all the woe, there’s a warmth wrapped around you. Instead of cold cobblestone, your back seems to be pressed against something soft and equally as shaky as you are.

It’s not until hands very gently run down your arms that you realize you’re laying against another body.

“Ne minuial tôl lû… Ir tirich er-'îl gelair awarthannen…” Hyunjin’s trembling voice whispers in your ear. His exhales fan over your ear. “Ir in-elenath gwennin… I 'îl thinna, i amar ú-dhartha…”

It’s been so long since you’ve heard Old Elvish. The language was almost dead at this point. Most Elves didn’t even speak it anymore. You only recognize it since your dad knew a bit.

He would sing Elvish lullabies to you when nightmares plagued your dreams.

On the edge of the bed, he would sit there and comb his fingers through your hair while the low timbre of his voice would soothe any fear in your mind. 

Much like Hyunjin is doing now. Somehow, hearing the language sends a calming wave over your broken body.

“Am man darthon a linnon… Nu galad hen fireb?” He sniffles and huffs. He’s crying. Against your back, you can feel just how much he’s quivering. 

The palms of his hands begin to warm up, a tingling sensation running over your skin. It’s not unpleasant, not at all. Especially not when all you’ve known for the past weeks is anguish.

“Eirien vi elenyr. Enni e bain. Brethil nui mellyrn…”

Very slowly, his hands move up your arms and then down, hovering over your chest and abdomen.

Your wounds begin to heat up. Not in the same burning way they’ve felt, something entirely different. Like drinking warm tea to soothe a sore throat. 

Oh.

He’s healing you…

“Enni e bain. Gwilwileth or alph. Enni e bain. Tinnu aphada Chelluin. Enni e bain.” 

His voice sounds so gorgeous when he speaks Elvish, even moreso than when he speaks normally. You didn’t think it was possible for him to sound even more melodic than he already does.

After a moment, you realize how much that burning is beginning to fade.

“I laiss e-mallorn ernediaid. El-lass dithen, el-lass fíreb.” He’s beginning to sound weaker and weaker. His voice is getting quieter in your ear.

It’s probably taking an insurmountable amount of energy to heal you right now. 

“Gâr chinnen. Ir dannatha?”

You’re no longer crying. Your breathing is beginning to even out. It doesn’t feel like you’re about to die every single time you take a breath.

At your sides, your hands twitch and a sigh of relief leaves your lips. Hyunjin seems to have heard it by the way his own breathing hitches. 

“I-'îl gelair fîr… Si e gwanna Menel,” he chokes out. The warmth from his hands flickers.

“Hyunjin,” you murmur. Your throat hurts so bad. ‘Hoarse’ isn’t even a proper way to describe what your voice sounds like. While screaming, you must have torn a vocal chord or something.

The mage shushes you gently, cooing in your ear as the warmth from his healing flickers to a stop like a dying campfire. 

“Si gwannathon i amar… Garel lass vi cammen…”

Your body relaxes.

It feels like nothing short of a miracle. 

When was the last time you felt anything remotely like this?

Life outside of these stone walls seem like nothing but a fake memory. Did you ever have a life outside of Fort Mire’s dungeon? It certainly doesn’t feel like it. 

“I have you, mercenary,” Hyunjin whispers in your ear. Shakily, he wraps his arms around you, holding you as close as possible to his chest. “They… They did not even tie us up… it has come to this. They know we are too weak…”

He must know you’re awake but unable to talk. You can’t even open your eyes, you can only listen.

There’s a long moment of silence as he gathers his strength to continue speaking. After healing you, you’re surprised he even has the wherewithal to wrap his arms around you, nevertheless speak to you in such a gentle, soothing tone.

“I know you are only here because you saved me, Y/N,” he chokes out. Another tiny sob is stifled. “You stayed by my side that day. Instead of retreating, you chose to stay with me.”

Your heart hammers in your chest for a moment. 

“Foolish little girl, you are…” his thumb rubs against your skin gently. “You got yourself into this mess because of me…”

So badly you want to open your eyes, you want to tell him he’s wrong, that you don’t regret your decision even for a moment. But you just can’t.

“I do not even know if I would do the same, if I am being truthful with you, mercenary. You are much stronger than I am… much more courageous…”

Hyunjin hums, the sound comes out a bit garbled from his soft cries. 

“You truly are one of a kind, Y/N. You are a gift to Miroh, to the court… to me .”

He hugs you tighter against his chest. Gently, he turns his head and rests his cheek on the crown of your head. Every exhale puffs into your hair. 

“I know it is more than selfish… By the Six, it might be downright evil… but I am… so beyond grateful that you are down here with me, Y/N. There is no way I would be able to survive this without you.”

You hum painfully, your fingers itch to reach up and lock with his lithe ones, but they only twitch once more.

“Save your energy, mercenary,” he says in a soft, condescending tone. “I… I know not what is in store for us tomorrow.”

He hesitates.

“I gave up Hollypond Farm,” he whispers simply. You know. 

Again, he falters. “And I would do it again to never hear you scream like that ever again.” When he says this, his voice sounds so haunted . Your heart aches in your chest for him. “In fact, I would do absolutely anything to never hear it again. I would even give up my own life for it. And I am certain that Seungmin feels the same.”

Seungmin. Poor, poor Seungmin. He’s going through his own version of torture, isn’t he?

Sure, you and Hyunjin are the ones receiving the physical torture, but the mental toll alone is immeasurable. 

Hyunjin doesn’t speak for a long while. In fact, he stays silent for so long, you think he might have finally fallen asleep.

But then.

“‘Love’ does not feel like a strong enough word to describe how I feel,” he murmurs.

This time, you’re sure that your heart does a backflip. Why can’t your body just cooperate and move?

“But I do love you, Y/N.”

At your sides, your fingers flex and the only movement you can manage to muster is turning your wrists and grabbing at the fabric of his pants with a weak grip.

Another puff of air fans out over your hair as Hyunjin chuckles weakly.

“We will make it through this, mercenary. I swear to you on everything I own, we will survive this.”

Your brain starts feeling fuzzier and fuzzier, Hyunjin’s voice seems to be acting like a lullaby. You still feel a bit floaty from before. 

Sleep slowly begins to draw you into her embrace; more and more your body melts backwards into Hyunjin’s and his arms tighten around you.

“Rest now, Y/N,” he says to you, just like that night in his tent when he put you to sleep for the first time in what felt like eons.

History repeats itself as you drift off.

But not before murmuring back.

“I love you too.”

[crazylittlejester]

hello. i have come to the realization that you also think Warriors has a bunch of sisters.

as someone who is a firm supporter of this headcanon, I want to hear your thoughts because it's such a fun idea.

i mean. if you'll thoughts. pls thoughts.🙏

HELLO!!

That man has the energy of someone who was raised by a bunch of women /pos he has sisters, SEVERAL of them, and I will die on this hill

I headcanon he’s like, the dead center middle child with three older sisters (if you count Linkle being his slightly older twin as an older sister) and three younger ones, and he’s the only boy. I know everyone keeps saying Wars has that “Eldest Daughter Trauma” energy and yes i see it however i like the idea that he had older sisters and a mom around when he was growing up. he’s got plenty of trauma in every other aspect of his life let him have this 😭/j (i do headcanon his dad is dead tho. rip Wars, you grew up without a father-)

Like yes he’s an older brother, he’s got that chronic older brother disease bless his heart, but hear me out and consider: Little Wars who had the love and support of older siblings and who tries to be like them every time he tries to comfort any of the chain. They’re all jealous of what a soothing presence Wars has and they’re all like “What would Wars do?” when they’re out of their element and don’t know what to do, but WARS is like “What would my older sister do-”

He was definitely pretty close with them before he left for the army, and though I headcanon he hasn’t physically gone back to see them since he’s definitely sent them letters and it makes him really happy to hear back because at the end of the day he’s the little brother who gets excited to talk to his older sisters because he STILL thinks theyre so cool and awesome (theyre a few years older than he is) and he’s glad they’re all finally old enough that they aren’t just looking at him and seeing stupid baby brother (they’re VERY proud of him, and they miss him a lot)

Also I love the idea that somewhere out there in a village on the edge of Hyrule kingdom is at LEAST one lady who every time someone mentions the hero of hyrule goes “you mean that dork ass little brother of mine? oh no, I’m VERY proud of him, but that doesn’t erase the time he threw a tantrum in the middle of the kitchen at age three because he was bored and I didn’t want to play with him. Absolute brat that one” or “Hero of hyrule? Little nerd got himself locked in the bathroom once when he was two and we couldn’t unlock the door from the outside and his dumb ass couldn’t figure out how to undo what he did so we had to break the door down to get him out. Very glad to hear he’s gotten at least a little smarter”

his younger sisters all definitely miss him too, so does his mom because i WILL give that man a living mother if its the last thing i do he’s EARNED it 😭

Plus I think it’s more tragic that his family (except his dad) IS alive but he feels like he can’t go home because he’s Different now and he’s been ruined, and that if he goes home it won’t be the same and his family won’t be able to love him for who he is now and they’ll grieve instead the boy who went off to war so he keeps himself away out of fear (he’s wrong and they want him back more than anything)

[divinesangel]

katseye dynamic reading pls

it seems like there’s no bad blood between them. they really enjoy each other’s company and are eager to see what new projects they’ll undertake and what achievements they’ll reach together. they’re very hard workers, putting a lot of effort into everything they do, and they genuinely want this group to succeed. however, lately, they’ve been feeling like they’re being tricked or played. some members aren’t doing well, and it feels like some are being portrayed in a way that doesn’t reflect who they truly are. there’s a sense of, “oh, i’m being tricked” or “they’re doing this on purpose.” but they know that this isn’t who they truly are. it seems like all they wanted was to show others how much effort they put into everything and how hard they work, but they feel hurt and disappointed that people misinterpreted that. they might be thinking, “why can’t you see how hard i work?”

besides that, it feels like they really encourage each other and make an effort to be there for one another, helping the group feel stable and supporting each other’s overall stability. they’re aware of the incredible things they’ve been manifesting for the group and appreciate the steady growth they’re experiencing, which excites them about the future. however, there are also some underlying fears or worries. they understand how challenging this industry can be, and there’s a lingering concern that things might not work out in their favor. despite their hard work and dedication to their dreams, there’s a fear of potential disappointment. but the girls themselves have changed a lot. whatever was shown in the documentary is not who they are now. they’ve undergone a significant transformation, both individually and as a group. once they began working together and viewing things from a new perspective, all of them evolved. after leaving the survival show, many of them shifted their outlook and started to see things differently. their connection has definitely experienced a profound change.

at the same time, i'm also seeing that they might seem close to each other, but behind closed doors, their communication doesn’t seem as strong. it feels like some of them are walking on eggshells, hesitant to express everything they want for fear of causing any tension. it seems like there are opinions they hold back on, carefully choosing their words to avoid disruption. there is a genuine desire to maintain a harmonious relationship and to keep the group strong.

when it comes to the whole manon situation that arose from the documentary, it seems that while they were on the show, they were very aware of the power she held, which made them feel incredibly stressed and influenced their actions. they recognized that manon had a unique energy and presence that allowed her to get what she wanted, and this realization made the girls feel insecure and added more pressure on them to perform better, while manon felt quite differently about the situation. now, it seems they view her in a different light, as they’ve moved past that period and found closure. they feel more comfortable with each other now, but as the situation resurfaces, it’s causing them pain. this ties back to the trickery i mentioned earlier. they are currently trying to let go of the past and take time to heal and clear their minds, especially after seeing all the comments and discussions about the topic.

[littlehypnone]

Hey Hypno!

I really like your fics and I was wondering if you would maybe write some little phantom and cg Swiss where phantom is having a rough day just waiting for a meltdown and Swiss being there. Like he’s just getting overstimulated and overwhelmed by everything and he feels like everything is too much. But Swiss is there and helps him find food that feels safe and find things to doo that doesn’t make his brain feel yucky. And then when the meltdown comes swiss knows exactly what to do and helps phantom get through it

I hope you can understand what I mean, I have been craving swiss/Phantom. I’ve just been struggling with overstimulation a lot lately and it’s just been not great. But your fics bring a lot of comfort and always helps take my mind off things.

Massive thanks in advance if you choose to write anything, your writing is so good and brings so much comfort!

-anon

hope this is okay. warning for phantom's history of hurting themself during a meltdown but swiss keeps them safe here

From the moment they woke up, they knew what kind of day it was going to be. Phantom dropped just thinking about it, about all the ickiness they were feeling around them and decided to go find Swiss right away. They thought that if Swiss always knows how to make them feel better, he’ll be able to help today.

His door opens immediately after the little ghoul knocks. “Good morning, buggy. You alright?”

“Icky,” Phantom pouts, shaking their hands by their sides.

“Oh, I’m sorry! Would you like some support today?”

“Y–you always help,” the little ghoul says. “You always k–know what to do.”

“I like to think so, yeah,” Swiss chuckles. “Come in, then, I’ll do my best to make it better.”

Phantom runs inside and goes straight for one specific corner of Swiss’ room. They squeeze themself into it—a tight space between two cabinets.

The multi ghoul doesn’t waste any more time before grabbing everything he knows Phantom needs when they’re overwhelmed and overstimulated. He leaves most of it on his bed, but takes a few to the little ghoul in the corner.

Swiss crouches down by them and speaks in a quiet voice, “Here, have your chewy.”

“C–chewy?”

“Yeah, the watermelon,” the multi ghoul hands it to them and Phantom snatches it with a gasp—once they realize it’s their watermelon chewy—and immediately puts it in their mouth to gnaw on. Swiss smiles. “Can I touch your hair, buggy? So I can clip it away from your face. I’ve got the bat clips!”

Phantom nods and the multi ghoul gently moves their fluffy black and white hair away from their face and clips it back. Next, he offers them their noise canceling headphones and the little quintessence ghoul takes them and puts them on with a quiet sigh of relief.

“Do you want to sit in your corner a little bit or would you come out to me so I can help you change into something cozy?” Swiss always makes sure to call everything theirs when Phantom is like this; they get anxious about belonging and deserving, and the multi ghoul putting ‘your’ in front of everything helps.

“C–Cozy,” they tell him and start wiggling out of the tight space. Swiss backs up and goes to pick up the jammies so he’s ready to help Phantom get into them. They aren’t wearing much clothes and they get out of them quickly—staying only in their bat boxers—before sitting up on Swiss’ bed and sticking their legs out for the multi ghoul to put a soft onesie on them.

In no time at all they are dressed and comfortable.

“Do you want space or cuddles right now?” Swiss asks and Phantom doesn’t reply—they crawl towards the multi ghoul and plop themself in his lap. “Cuddles it is.”

Having received a clear answer, Swiss wraps his hands around them and squeezes—knowing they need a heavier, grounding touch when like this. For a few minutes they stay like that, until Phantom’s morning ickiness goes away and Swiss can find something sensory-friendly for them to do.

He knows it’s alright when the little ghoul begins to purr contentedly.

“One question, buggy,” Swiss starts, “do you think we can avoid a meltdown or is it happening regardless? Could you tell me?”

“Uh…” Phantom pulls back to look at him and scrunches up their eyebrows as they think, “fink is’ h–happenin’ rega’d–dle’.”

“Okay, thank you for telling me.” The multi ghoul smiles down at them. “We’ll handle it when it comes, yeah?”

“Mhm.”

“Do you want some breakfast now?” They nod and the two leave for the kitchen. Swiss turns to the cabinet containing Phantom’s safe foods right away, leaving them with a simple—not overwhelming—choice. He keeps it all sensory-friendly as they eat and when they’re done Swiss does the same in his room—just keeping them as comfortable as possible.

He knows he can’t keep this meltdown from happening, though, and while he’s not sure what exactly triggers it after a few hours, he sees Phantom falling into it just at the right moment. He knows their meltdowns and how to deal with them by now, having both experienced and discussed it a lot with Phantom while big.

They tend to get aggressive while in a meltdown, so Swiss shuffles in closer behind them and grabs their hands as gently as he can while still being firm enough to keep them from hurting themself. He crosses their arms over their chest and holds them against himself, rocking them back and forth as Phantom cries silent tears of frustration with a clenched jaw. Swiss doesn’t speak now—the little quintessence ghoul doesn’t like that, then.

It’s at least ten minutes before it stops and Phantom goes from being as tense as a guitar string to folding in on themself limply. That’s when Swiss speaks, “I’ve got you, buggy.”

They get really tired after a meltdown so the multi ghoul picks them up and moves them over to the top of the bed to get them cozy. He doesn’t break contact for even a second—even though it’s quite tricky—and keeps talking quietly through it.

“Was b–bad,” Phantom whines, “‘m s–s’eepy now.”

“Oh, I know, baby,” Swiss coos, “I know. Gonna get you to sleep in a second, yeah?”

“A–are you st–tayin’?”

“Of course I am.” The multi ghoul smiles at them kindly and gets settled next to them on the bed, leaving the little ghoul to choose if they want to cuddle or rather keep Swiss at an arm’s length. Phantom gnaws on their bottom lip for a second before shuffling closer—not quite snuggling into the big ghoul, but laying close enough for them to feel his body heat.

Still, they keep chewing their lip and Swiss knows they want something more. “What do you need, buggy?”

“C–can I hold your h–hand?” they ask shyly—as if the other would refuse. He doesn't, of course, extending his hand for Phantom to take. They grab Swiss’ index finger with one of their own little hands and use the other one to bring the multi ghoul’s entire forearm to their chest—holding it like a stuffie.

It’s an adorable sight; Swiss could just about melt.

“Thank–k you, Swissy,” Phantom mumbles, finally relaxed and half-asleep already.

“Sleep well, buggy.”