#then he does two songs back to back
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every role dean had was someone over 30, which is understandable because he was over 30 in every movie he was ever in.
there is one funny exception to this which is bill from that's my boy, who's supposed to be 18. like. fresh out of high school. you spend the whole movie preoccupied with the fact that he doesn't look 18, especially compared to jerry, who looks much more like he's 18 because he had a bit of a baby face and was 9 years younger.
#typewriter dings#damn i wish the 18 year olds i knew when i was 18 looked like dean in that movie#lmaooo#i've talked about this movie before#but this gets me#also this movie sucks so much ass#dean is not even in the damn movie for the first 20 minutes#then he does two songs back to back#then he's barely there#it's hardly a martin and lewis movie#it's an eddie mayehoff movie featuring jerry lewis and guest starring dean martin
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was overcome with the urge to draw "wade tenderly caressing logan's face while he's Feeling Big Angsty Stuff" and then the parallel urge to do a follow-up of "logan kissing wade's hand/holding onto him for dear life"
(anyway hope you like it - I have been looking at this for too long and so of course I hate it now 🫠 art is hard guys lol)
some details below the cut because I am happy with some small aspects - still really enjoying the painting part of doing Wade's scars for example (thanks again @woof-verine for that inspo it is just baked into my psyche now, and also for being a forever enjoyer of pointy ears Logan - sorry couldn't quite get the fangs in this time but they are there trust me!!)
ps. was listening to She Calls Me Back by Noah Kahan for this one. idk it just hits for me in my poolverine-addled state lol
#poolverine#he's just a sad wet angsty little guy (aka 200 year old perfect killing machine)#(sorry wolvie you're not a killing machine really)#(you're just a lil guy who wants nothing more then to kiss your bf's hands while he tenderly caresses your face)#(and tells you everything is going to be okay)#was listening to the song she calls me back by noah kahan a lot last night#idk man the lyrics just hit the poolverine brainrot so good#like???#“lost for a long time/two parallel lines/everything's alright when/she calls me back”#“look at me and dont you lie/I could be your sacrifice” “I do not exist to die/but live to die while saving you”#“does it bite at your edges/do you lie awake restless/why am I so obsessive/hanging on to every sentence”#gah it is so bad you guys#but also so good#anyway hope these make sense#wolverine#deadpool and wolverine#deadpool & wolverine#deadpool#deadclaws#deadpool 3#deadpool x wolverine#poolverine fanart
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do you remember when we felt like the only two alive?
#w101#wizard101#w101 oc#wizard101 oc#dasein#wizsein#oc: aedan#sal art#its missing lemuria prequest hours#aedan will never say it because hes Nice but sometimes he rly does get annoyed having to share dasein's attention#like hes so happy that dasein got what he wanted wrt Being Something#but he does also miss when it was just the two of them#like Way back even before they met Stallion/the other heroes#he wishes he'd had the chance to show dasein around the spiral before things got Complicated#two finished art pieces in as many days. hoo boy#i got to azteca on aedan so im getting like. Excited. this is the last part of the game that really feels like a slog to me#khrysalis is Long but i enjoy it too much to be annoyed by it#and for as much as karamelle sucks its a VERY short world#I CANT WAIT TO DO ARC 3 AGAIN!!! I MISS IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#OH the song is Remember When by Wallows btw#one day ill share my whole wizsein playlist here
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lots of doodles because i forget to post art here most of the time
#lila art#genshin#clorinde#shenhe#kokomi#not tagging arlecchino because that does Not count as an arlecchino drawing LMFAO#He Knows Many Things.#dunmeshi#falin touden#laios touden#sorry that that siblings drawing is so blurry im too lazy to retake it#it has the lyrics to the siblings song below it bc i got it stuck in my head while drawing them#siblings! siblings! siblings! siblings! this is my sister! this is my brother! we are siblings and we care for each other! what we have! we#always share! cuz we are siblings and we have the same hair!!! dun dundun dun dun dun dun dun dundundundundun dun dun dundundun#im actually. rlly proud of those falin drawings on top#and also the clorinde one but i just drew that an hr ago so im probably going to come back to it tmrw and realize its super wonky but wtv#also the kokomi was a request from twt!!!!!#i have. a lot of those to do still#i will do them at some point i just dont have free time a lot#this is the first time ive had to draw in like two weeks i think#and my friends birthday passed and i promised to draw him hkvh so thats my priority#the clorinde was just supposed to be a warmuo#except he called me while i was drawing and we ended up playing sdv#so it was a warmup to nothing#anyway i had fun and i need to go to bed now bye#ALSO i forgot to mention that those shenhe perspectives are meant to look ugly i was trying to draw those perspectives from memory#because i was. in class.#the top down perspective is kindof cute tbh but the Other One.#its ok i love making my faves look dumb and uncomfortable on purpose
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Something about how Heart is being compared to mythology, Minds referencing the bible & Soul being the one to use both of those things
#its so fun to my brain. its interesting to me#idk if that actually means anything i just find it neat#Heart being referenced as Juno [the greek moon goddess]#Mind referencing the bible [he does it mainly in TME but also the whole judgment & punishment talk as well]#then there's Soul with the end of Dream & all of Two Wuv [also a couple extra lines in TSE NMtK & such]#this has probably been said before but i still find it interesting#also to add in. Whole does none of those things really#not including some songs since they're more CJ centric/not Whole based [if that makes sense]#but Whole is much more literal non-metaphorical way of explaining things/singing#the most he talks about anything that's a metaphor is like the Time Machine bits in TMR#THO whats also kinda fun is that when he sorta talks less literal. its in the back & forth part in TWWaY#like showing all separate parts of HMS are there but as one person#again idk if im making sense#im rambling now but its interesting to me#chonny jash#moss post
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Listening to Only One Story while reading the lyrics (here), they are beautiful (especially the "no matter how many times you cry, you'll be fine" part).
I think everything written before verse 2 is going to be the TV version of the opening which we'll get to see accompanied with visuals. I am personally curious which lyrics will be associated with Amethio in the opening itself. One of the lyrics mentions "rainy days" so I wonder if they will take this opportunity for the wordplay ("ame" meaning rain, and Amethio's name has "ame" in it..). Also curious about the lyrics mentioning the "promised place", I'm thinking it refers to Rakua and meeting Lucius there.
The second verse is probably the part that won't be used for the TV version. Though, I'm looking at the lyrics mentioning "eternal feelings" because the reading for the kanji "永遠" is specifically "towa" (same reading used for the "eternal blessing/towa no megumi" in the series itself). "Eternal feelings" makes me think of the Six Heroes' feelings towards Lucius. Even Gibeon's, maybe, if he held on to his feelings towards Lucius (whatever they were) for the past decades (and maybe at the cost of everything else... since it feels like he wants to settle something that is in relation to Lucius and that he won't get to rest until he does). Eternal feelings overcoming the passage of time, etc.
Anyway, pretty nice lyrics! It feels like a melancholic song, but also encouraging (the initial promo for the opening mentioned that it was a cheerful song, here). Reminds me a bit of Halo in some ways. Now, just to wait for the visuals.
#reading the lyrics makes me think about many characters at the same time#i'll wait for a more thorough translation of the song#so i can get more insane about the lyrics again later#for the time being this is what stands out to me the most#(though some other things do too)#like the '上昇して 輝け Starlight' with 上昇 meaning rising or ascending#and it's neat. that they are referencing the chapter title (rising) in the lyrics in some way#i need to check if they did so for the first two chapters in the first two openings#i know they did for terastal debut#anyway. if i think too much about lucius' pokemon missing him i get sad :(#i hope we'll get more insight on rayquaza's feelings since he is lucius's greatest partner#oliva and the others cried over lucius back in ep 32#so i wonder how rayquaza feels. does he believe in lucius so he knows they'll all meet each other again#chapter notes#opening notes
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Odypen definitely and equivalently adore each other BUT I weirdly can't see them as the type to actually say "I Love you".
They still definitely vocalize their love for each other but it's more so in "My Joy", and "Extraordinary Woman", "Strange Woman/Man", etc. And very cheesy lines (both say some cheesy shit in the Odyssey, and he definitely does in the Iliad as well. "Joy like a drowning sailor seeing land" bit???)
I could see "I adore you" but even then, that's probably during very specific moments but the actual "I love you"??? I just typed it just now for fic shit and... It weirdly just didn't feel right and I don't know why. 😅
Idk maybe it's kind of because I see them as over the top in ways, they love wordplay and riddles and I think they'd almost think "...That's not good enough >:( " about it??? I don't know???😂
#I wrote this last night. I'll do the asks I got later. don't worry! :D#I am the cheese god remember?😅#I think these two would try to “out-cheese” each other and whoever is left speechless first loses#“I would forget my own name before I would ever forget you” bullshit. CHEESY#And yes. “I sleep in our nest with you or outside on the dirt” stupidity >:D#I plan for Odysseus as a beggar to ask why she waits so long. As he's been gone a longer amount of time than the time they had together#(Simply asking as reassurance. He knows his answer. Calypso asked him. but what about Penelope?) but she gets mad at the#“Beggar” and pities him as he must be telling the truth about having a miserable life if he never got the chance to know such devotion#How what they have could never be sullied by#something as trivial as distance and years. How the years with him were the best in her life. Only made better by their son.#'My dear Joy made songs and poems about love a reality as that was simply the life we shared. Even separated our 'song' will always echo#no matter how long it's been. I'LL make sure it always does. And I know he's doing the same... That strange man used to say that#even if he died his corpse would drag itself back to us before he'd ever give up.'#...I'm not one for 'odyssey zombie au' but when I first heard it yeah. :'D Came up with this back then#“His eyes as hard as flint or horn-” Bullshit! The sad lil fuck is hiding sobs with coughs and telling her to keep away for fear of her#catching whatever “illness” he has. The nice thing about being disguised as old means sickly old man works.#...#I'm noticing that Odysseus has a lot of silly oneliners while I write Penelope with a shit ton of set up :'D#They are so silly and I love them so much#...I wrote a lot :'D#Mad rambles#shot by odysseus#my headcanons#odypen#yahoo!!!#sometimes I wonder if I should tag this with more things but I don't want to taint the regular tags with my bullshit :'D I KNOW I'm insane
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Gear 5 luffy's laugh is so contagious I just hear the drums and go insane how does this work. What did he do to me
#i still cant believe how much this new opening theme goes off.... DREAM SAVE ALL OF US 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH 💥💥💥💥💥💥#wait a second. the robot attacked 200 years ago. the void century was 800 years ago no????? what#oh see it was made 900 years ago.... but why did it attack 200 years ago then.... what happened#it is still so funny how they made evegapunk einstein but with some cunty long legs#200 years ago they gave rights to the gyojin!!! i see i see ✍️✍️also i still wonder why law and kuma have similar hat and pants designs#like there is NO WAY that much similarity isnt done on purpose. NO FUCKING WAY!!! I NEED ANSWERS!!!#are they annihliating cp ships akdhakskd yeah vegapunk letsgo#also the opening song is about dreams and the end one is about luffy reaching shanks...... havent got a clue why but there it is#talking tag#watching one piece#episode 1098#also is lucci named lucci bc it kinda sounds like luffy. SERAPHIM KUMA HAS HIS DEVIL FRUIT???? vegapunk could only make zoan fruits????#also wdym when cp0 acts it means its some historic event. lucci is like 25. where are the experienced people here#sentomaru works for vegapunk??? maybe i forgor about this tbh also do theu have a doffy seraphim??? the fact they have animal names....#stussy letting kaku get hurt akdhsjsn oh atlas has lamb ears..... and lucci said she is is prey... no..... the foresahdowing :(#lucci you fucked up she just gave luffy food... that a death sentence look what happened to kaido#episode 1099#<- oh my god btw. god. jesus.#why is akainu telling the cp0 what to do or thinks he can do that... thats the world gov... also thinkng about how garp should fight him#and not luffy.... because of ace you know... i still wonder how did sengoku know who ace's father was... there is only one man who knew....#everyone trying to stop them from fighting ajdhsksjks two rabid dogs fr#LUFFY TAKING OFF HIS JACKET WHEN LUCCI ASKS FOR HIS WANTED SIGN!!!! GO OFF KING!!!! SLAY!!! THE CREW SAW HIM!!! FINALLY!!!#i have been smiling since he started the transformation this is so sick...... i have got a case of the luffy brain#zoan fruits steal the personality of the user when they awaken ✍️✍️ luffy???? nami being the only one who saw gear 5 <3 twins manifesto#robin being so shook about luffy being a god ajdbjansk wdym devil fruits exist because people wish for them. fairy magic real????#WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY ARE FROM ALTERNATE REALITIES WHERE SOMEONE DREAMT ABOUT THEM??? DOES HE TRAVEL THRU REALITIES FOR THEM???#jinbe has been making this face 😧 every episode three times it is amazing ajdhaksnsk poor man... now he sees a kid angel version of himself#after seeing hia captain turn into a god... he is gonna get a stroke OMG SENTOMARU WE JUST GOT YOU BACK#episode 1100#<- CRAZY. INSANE. OH GOD. ONLY 12 LEFT. THATS A WEEKEND!!! I CANT DO THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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WAIT WAIT WAIT CONSIDER THIS: TOM AND BARBARA AS ORPHEUS AND EURYDICE, ALAN AND ALICE AS A DOOMED RETELLING
#alan wake#like this is fully what they already are - not in a 'someone make this content' way. they just Are#alan wake 2#alice wake#tom zane#barbara jagger#barbara dies in a tragedy and tom is overcome with grief and through art and song (film/poetry) moves heaven and earth to bring#her back from the darkness - only to discover the dark place did not grant him his love again merely a shade of her#and so in that same roiling grief he destroyed himself - cast himself back into hell#the dark place took Alice so Alan followed her into hell - but despite Thomas's guidance he could not save both himself and Alice#and so he did the impossible and trapped himself in exchange for her freedom#Alan was taken by the dark place and so Alice followed him into hell once more#and she - knowing he could not afford to look back if he was ever to escape - tricked him into thinking she was already lost#sacrificing herself to lead him back to the light#and now the cycle is broken. alan cannot follow her into hell again - at least not in the same way as before#but in breaking the cycle he has declared himself the master of two worlds - is this hubris? has he doomed himself again with those words?#or does he hold the reins now? will he be able to reach into the underworld and free her? have they trancended myth itsel#*itself?#anyway. I'm a genius (jk)
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stump-salsa on March 30th, 2024: Wow, Zim is my favourite character of all time! I can’t believe that today marks 23 years since the very first episode of Invader Zim aired! I will be hyperfixated on him for the next few months, I can tell!
Cheese Sandwich from My Little Pony:
#Sigh#I was in denial for a while but#my mlp obsessed best friend corrupted me I’m afraid#the weird al hyperfixation also returned for obvious reasons#I have not listened to a single song that wasn’t weird al for the past two weeks and I have the airbuds history to prove it#I am also the number 1 weird al listener on airbuds and I have proof (my friend sent me the screenshot)#anyway#sigh. again.#I’m sorry everypony#don’t worry zim will come back…he always does…#my little pony#friendship is magic#mlp#fim#mlp fim#cheese sandwich#weird al yankovic#𝒲𝐻𝒪 𝒲𝒜𝒩𝒯 𝒞𝐻𝐸𝐸𝒮𝐸𝒮𝐻🪗𝒯𝒮
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“You keep my old scarf from that very first week, cause it reminds you of innocence and it smells like me. You can’t get rid of it, cause you remember it all too well” 🤝 “I keep finding his things in drawers, crucial evidence I didn’t imagine the whole thing”
something about the way both these songs use a lover’s personal belongings as a means of trying to grasp on to positive memories of a relationship that’s ended, and how both parties involved need these belongings in order to reassure themselves that what happened was real and genuine at all…. almost like that’s the entire point of the muse in all too well keeping ahold of her scarf in the first place, and why she wants him to do so, even though she knows exactly where it is and could go get it anytime
#angel.txt#anyways people who joke abt atw muse needing to give the scarf back are missing the point!!#if he gives her the scarf back it means he’s denying the entire truth of the song and the relationship#and he’d basically be saying that she’s insane for feeling this strongly at all#the fact that he keeps it—and that she KNOWS he keeps it—means they’re on the same page#him keeping the scarf is him saying ‘yes’ to her asking if the love affair maimed him too#wild how so many ppl joke abt him giving the scarf back. as if if that wouldn’t undermine the entire purpose and point of the song#all too well#i can do it with a broken heart#all of this is why the virginity interpretation of the scarf also doesn’t make sense either#like she does not care one lick about the scarf at All gskdhd it’s literally just a narative tool to prove he has Feelings™️#‘you can’t get rid of it cause you remember it all too well’ is supposed to be as smug and self-assured as all of ibytam#him keeping her scarf means SHE has the power here and is being entirely truthful in her recounting#like none of this speaks to a theme of loss of virginity/innocence in the way people interpret it to be and ESPECIALLY not like wcs#she wants her girlhood back but she wants the scarf to stay where it is. these two are not the same#textposts#analysis#album: red#album: the tortured poets department
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flashbacks to dialogue that happened less than a minute ago are annoying and a little insulting for obvious reasons, unless it's in bad buddy episode 5 [2/4] and pat is having entirely serious sepia toned flashbacks to fifty seconds ago while almost shoving a set of drumsticks he hasn't even paid for yet up his nose. then it's brilliant and world changing
#don't mind me i'm just chewing glass today#when the architecture band starts playing at freshy day and ink says to pat hey isn't that the song you two played that christmas?#it's like yeah... but that's a maddeningly casual way to refer to an event that in the context of the series wide metaphor#is really more like their parents caught them making out in a closet. and then pran got sent to boarding school over it#and NOW pran is up there on stage playing that same song again. looking right at pat when he announces it. but plaYING IT with WAI#and not intentionally. not in a mean sort of way. because pran doesn't know#he doesn't KNOW that pat's been shoving drumsticks up his nose while being struck cold by Love Signs#because how could he. all he knows is that very recently pat was sighing in relief that pran isn't his rival for ink. because pat likes ink#pran does NOT know that in the (very short. more than fifty seconds but still very short) meantime#pat has tried to figure out if ink might like him back. pat has in the process accidentally figured out that HE might like pran#AND pat has tried to confess his feelings to ink only for her to go. very kindly. are you sure you like me that way? i don't think you do#(because he's the wrONG SIBLING. she likes the OTHER SIBLING. which is hilarious but a different thing to go insane over)#and it's like. pran doesn't know!!! pran is just having a day like any other. pran has Known forever#he doesn't KNOW that when they're standing there surrounded by guitars (it's essentially a gay bar. don't even get me started)#(because that's a joke but it's also not. not really. it is but it's not. you know)#!! that when they're standing there surrounded by guitars. pat is suddenly going OH. in sepia toned flashbacks to fifty seconds ago#when they were ALSO standing there surrounded by guitars btw. which is the point. nothing has changed but maybe everything has#it's the same thing it was fifty seconds ago but maybe it's not. maybe pat suddenly hears the music that's been playing forever#and maybe this is way too many fucking tags. i don't even think this is the glass i was chewing originally#*#bad buddy#bad buddy the series
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emotions overtaking everything
#me#it's probably a good thing#i trried to sleep last night with music playing but i ended up just crying about every song#for an hour or two#and then i finally slept#and now i woke up and feel like cryinf about everything again#aometimes i feel like my episodes of depression are just emotions trhing to get out and they don't know how#until it eventually leads to this and then i start climbinf back up again#and i will climb back up#eventually#why does it always have to be like a rollercoaster#but anyway russ helps#he gives me so much to think about#he's always there when i need him for anything#excuse my phome typing typos
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Listening to coinstar by the growlers and thinking about mel so hard I get nauseous
Ridiculous stream of conscious in the tags apologies but not really
#it speaks#white woman moment#its really funny bc like. its very much a her to jfk song#(everyones favorite problematic short king)#but she looks at him with uhhh#like heres this kid(hes 28) standing on the precipice o what she had been all those years ago#but he KNOWS it she didnt know she thought she had mold poisoning from her shitty apartment until she died#and she is projecting so much onto him. which is part of why she doesn't respect him at all#'im a sucker just like you'#its also funny bc like. it is Too Late for Phoenix.also its scary that theyre hungry bc as far as she knows death avatars arent supposed 2 b#but also theyre the first one shes met. and Phoenix is kind of just scary in general.#but being around those two is like. almost flashbacky(jfk also reminds her alot of her ex aroun that age tho audreys dad was Worse)#(she never met him but heard enough stories about the guy and i mean. he fed her to the hunt on purpose.#i dont think jorges dad wanted what was going to happen to happen)#part of why she texted her so fast tbh. not that they hadnt talked at all since the divorce.#i thinj they talked. not alot bc mel WAS in europe and international data rates pre smartphone age oof ouch#and also like. they did irrevocably harm eachother physically and mentally but they do both careeeeee#tho. i do not think melissa wouldve ever dropped everything to go help audrey like audrey would and did for her.#(girl who runs away from her problems x girl who is a dog)#auuughhhhhh#she really is my chew toy.#i also think alot about her sky mafia years but those r fun and sexy little secrets for me#as much as i love Basil's motw campaign i do with it was easier to unentangle her from tma lore.#bc like. normal vampire works well but it loses so much of the flavor. various sea beasts keep the flavor but loose the morality.#for pathfinder if i were to redo her id go with storm oracle and then spec into kineticist. which does work Ok I Guess.#but like. even that its still not what i want#one scene that probably would've never happened in game but i thought ahout if we ever went back to the item storage or maybe a wierd thrift#shop or something was to like. have her come across a violin and pick it up and make it scream horribly. like. really concentrate on making#it make the worst noise imaginable. shes trying to reach that wonderful horrible music avatars mention alot in the earlier seasons#and then realizes everyone else Hates That So Much and jokingly play one of the devil's riffs from tdwdg. tbh i should finally draw that
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Song of the Day: February 17
“DYWTYLM” by Sleep Token
#song of the day#Sleep Token really saving my sanity as we navigate this dark and uncertain time without an upgraded sibling singalong playlist#had to go out into the snow on under two hours' sleep to get groceries#(the farmers' market gave me kefir cheese so any amount of suffering would've been worthwhile but I couldn't know that at the time)#and getting into Nick's car knowing there was music I could request that he could play loud as he wanted and I wouldn't want to cry#I mean blessing isn't even a strong enough term. baking a cake for the Sleep Token guy (his name is Vessel) as we speak#anyway this song sounds incredible in the original and then so odd sung acapella. like singing a bass line just a couple beats repeating#polar opposite of my lady indie covers. a song rendered fully unrecognizable when I wander the house mumbling it to myself#the verses do alright I suppose but the chorus is out of the question. the lyrics are so strong too real gut-punch lines#'and my reflection just won't smile back at me like I know it should / and I would turn into a stranger in an instant if I could#and there is something eating me alive I don't know what it is / maybe not that you conceal your feelings they just don't exist'#the whole song is like that it is so so so good. every new Sleep Token song I hear I'm like oh of course yes I see why these are fic titles#(Sleep Token catching up to Fall Out Boy and Hozier in terms of lines I've seen as fic titles. I mean we are really getting up there#and I am definitely not immune. if/when I put up those fanmixes y'all are gonna be seeing some Sleep Token let me tell you)#edit: it stands for 'Do You Wish That You Loved Me' I just realized I never said#didn't even pick lyrics that include it which is nuts when you realize that every verse does twice. whoops
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“You did not live in a house of horrors. I was raised to believe in hellfire; now that was bad!” Okay and impending global genocide of any culture that disagrees with your beliefs isn’t? Being raised mentally preparing to withstand torture at the hands of police in a “do it to Julia” situation isn’t? Being socially isolated from your peers on the grounds that they’re evil uneducated dumb worldly heathens controlled by Satan isn’t a bad thing? No. Those are all good things which every child should be taught in order to experience “the real life.”
The legitimate truth is that we are all in “the real life” right now and in “the real life,” the Governing Body is doing the very best they can to cover up the fact that they’re a cult by relaxing the cult’s rules in a futile attempt to prevent the prosecution in the numerous ONGOING child sexual abuse cases from handing their non-tight-pants-wearing asses to them. And the other legitimate truth is discovering this fact to be the legitimate truth while having to navigate a sea of lies and high school is extremely traumatizing, especially when you feel the need to take a hard stance against the cult to prevent others’ children — children like you — from befalling the same fate by dressing up as some miserable wretch who cooked and ate children, hoping the way you look and carry yourself and stare into the parents’ eyes will scare them away. And even more traumatizing is that your tactics worked; proving that you are just as bad and scary as your preexisting OCD made you out to be. Yes I did it to myself; but consider the reason why I felt so compelled to sacrifice the entirety of my mental health to sabotage you with what little tools I had. I wouldn’t have done it had I not had a very good reason, and my very good reason was that I was a child who loved children. You were trying to protect me and it was a sacrifice; but I was also trying to protect children. My endeavor is not — and was never — a selfish one. It is not that I don’t care about you; I only prioritize the class which is most oppressed, and you are not a part of it because you are adults. Your feelings, unfortunately, are expendable in my mission to end religious child labor. I will not support your corrupt religion to make you happy when I know what it’s done to others and to myself; it is wrong, and you are wrong for supporting it. I, as a paraprofessional, refuse to support a religion which hides the sexual abuse of children for its own gain. By law I am now a mandatory reporter; I must report child abuse when I see it under penalty of law. Therefore it stands to reason that I must report your cult from the top of every mountain for the entire inhabited earth to hear so they may not even take so much as one step in your direction. I am sorry if I seem like I hate you; if the fact that I reject your ideals of theological expectational fascism disturbs you so much, then maybe you need to re-evaluate your choices.
“Your actions affect others.” I know my actions affect others; I know how they affect others as well. You’re crushed and demoralized and suffering physically from all the emotional stress; I’ve likely dug you both early graves. I know what I’ve done and I can live with it — Not easily — but I am not defeated because I know I’m in the right, and have always been in the right. No. The real question is: Do you know how your actions are affecting others? In exquisite detail? Have you listened to the victims? Have you allowed yourself to hear both sides of the story with your human ears, not ones made of tin and thought-blocking strategies and “I had it worse than you” excuses? No? Then you’d better start because the key to healing yourself is to aid in the healing of others. We are all connected as one body; and I refuse to be a cancer cell. Sorry I’m aiding in your downfall but it’s got to happen at some point.
#You know if my mom is praying for me to come back then it’s only fair I perform spells for her to get out. Nonconsensual be our watchword#My dad is surprisingly handling it much better than my mom which I did not anticipate at ALL#Because he was the most volatile when I got forcibly outed. Like yelling and throwing books levels of volatile#I think it’s their respective emotional proximity to the cult. My mom is more in than my dad#My dad is not attending meetings as far as I’m aware (and if he is listening on Zoom then he leaves when a certain person speaks)#All my mom does is study and walk (in preparation for the Tribulation) and work a bloodsucking corporate job for ten hours a day#She attends all the meetings on Zoom#And she’s the one constantly saying in a grave tone of voice “You’ve made your choices. I just want what’s best for you and this isn’t it.#It’s hard when you put in 21 years and your baby is gone. I feel like I’ve lost you. I don’t feel like I know you anymore.”#Because you’ve never known me. The environment did not feel safe enough for me to make myself known#and therefore I split in two at approximately age five or six#Whereas my dad is like “Hey I know we have our differences; but I’d like to focus on our similarities because that’s what matters.”#Like uh… Can I get a hell yeah?#He mentions religion a lot but it’s not as stressful as my mom basically hammering into me that my choices are “bad”#exjw#ex cult#It’s hilarious and sad to see them deny it’s a cult or that they’re brainwashed while trying to impose that same emotional control over me#without even realizing they’re guilt-tripping because they’re running on hurt feelings and faltering religious autopilot#Anyway if anyone’s got me I know “Pink Pony Club” by Chappell Roan has got me good god#The first time I listened to that song I almost broke down sobbing in a car of people I just met on the way to a pride dance#But I kept it together
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