#The first time I listened to that song I almost broke down sobbing in a car of people I just met on the way to a pride dance
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theres-whump-in-that-nebula · 3 months ago
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“You did not live in a house of horrors. I was raised to believe in hellfire; now that was bad!” Okay and impending global genocide of any culture that disagrees with your beliefs isn’t? Being raised mentally preparing to withstand torture at the hands of police in a “do it to Julia” situation isn’t? Being socially isolated from your peers on the grounds that they’re evil uneducated dumb worldly heathens controlled by Satan isn’t a bad thing? No. Those are all good things which every child should be taught in order to experience “the real life.”
The legitimate truth is that we are all in “the real life” right now and in “the real life,” the Governing Body is doing the very best they can to cover up the fact that they’re a cult by relaxing the cult’s rules in a futile attempt to prevent the prosecution in the numerous ONGOING child sexual abuse cases from handing their non-tight-pants-wearing asses to them. And the other legitimate truth is discovering this fact to be the legitimate truth while having to navigate a sea of lies and high school is extremely traumatizing, especially when you feel the need to take a hard stance against the cult to prevent others’ children — children like you — from befalling the same fate by dressing up as some miserable wretch who cooked and ate children, hoping the way you look and carry yourself and stare into the parents’ eyes will scare them away. And even more traumatizing is that your tactics worked; proving that you are just as bad and scary as your preexisting OCD made you out to be. Yes I did it to myself; but consider the reason why I felt so compelled to sacrifice the entirety of my mental health to sabotage you with what little tools I had. I wouldn’t have done it had I not had a very good reason, and my very good reason was that I was a child who loved children. You were trying to protect me and it was a sacrifice; but I was also trying to protect children. My endeavor is not — and was never — a selfish one. It is not that I don’t care about you; I only prioritize the class which is most oppressed, and you are not a part of it because you are adults. Your feelings, unfortunately, are expendable in my mission to end religious child labor. I will not support your corrupt religion to make you happy when I know what it’s done to others and to myself; it is wrong, and you are wrong for supporting it. I, as a paraprofessional, refuse to support a religion which hides the sexual abuse of children for its own gain. By law I am now a mandatory reporter; I must report child abuse when I see it under penalty of law. Therefore it stands to reason that I must report your cult from the top of every mountain for the entire inhabited earth to hear so they may not even take so much as one step in your direction. I am sorry if I seem like I hate you; if the fact that I reject your ideals of theological expectational fascism disturbs you so much, then maybe you need to re-evaluate your choices.
“Your actions affect others.” I know my actions affect others; I know how they affect others as well. You’re crushed and demoralized and suffering physically from all the emotional stress; I’ve likely dug you both early graves. I know what I’ve done and I can live with it — Not easily — but I am not defeated because I know I’m in the right, and have always been in the right. No. The real question is: Do you know how your actions are affecting others? In exquisite detail? Have you listened to the victims? Have you allowed yourself to hear both sides of the story with your human ears, not ones made of tin and thought-blocking strategies and “I had it worse than you” excuses? No? Then you’d better start because the key to healing yourself is to aid in the healing of others. We are all connected as one body; and I refuse to be a cancer cell. Sorry I’m aiding in your downfall but it’s got to happen at some point.
#You know if my mom is praying for me to come back then it’s only fair I perform spells for her to get out. Nonconsensual be our watchword#My dad is surprisingly handling it much better than my mom which I did not anticipate at ALL#Because he was the most volatile when I got forcibly outed. Like yelling and throwing books levels of volatile#I think it’s their respective emotional proximity to the cult. My mom is more in than my dad#My dad is not attending meetings as far as I’m aware (and if he is listening on Zoom then he leaves when a certain person speaks)#All my mom does is study and walk (in preparation for the Tribulation) and work a bloodsucking corporate job for ten hours a day#She attends all the meetings on Zoom#And she’s the one constantly saying in a grave tone of voice “You’ve made your choices. I just want what’s best for you and this isn’t it.#It’s hard when you put in 21 years and your baby is gone. I feel like I’ve lost you. I don’t feel like I know you anymore.”#Because you’ve never known me. The environment did not feel safe enough for me to make myself known#and therefore I split in two at approximately age five or six#Whereas my dad is like “Hey I know we have our differences; but I’d like to focus on our similarities because that’s what matters.”#Like uh… Can I get a hell yeah?#He mentions religion a lot but it’s not as stressful as my mom basically hammering into me that my choices are “bad”#exjw#ex cult#It’s hilarious and sad to see them deny it’s a cult or that they’re brainwashed while trying to impose that same emotional control over me#without even realizing they’re guilt-tripping because they’re running on hurt feelings and faltering religious autopilot#Anyway if anyone’s got me I know “Pink Pony Club” by Chappell Roan has got me good god#The first time I listened to that song I almost broke down sobbing in a car of people I just met on the way to a pride dance#But I kept it together
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repulsiveliquidation · 7 months ago
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Broken || Alexia Putellas
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summary : you're broken but your girlfriend knows how to hold you together. angst.
a/n : i've literally got no time to write but i've been itching so here just a teeny tiny blurb i came up with before class while listening to the song below.
Based on ‘Stay’ by Gracie Abrams
Alexia walked into your apartment to the sound of your sobs. She almost dropped the groceries she was holding, your dog startled at the sound of a wine bottle that nearly broke as it hit the marble counter a little too hard.
“Amor?” she called, standing in the doorway of your bedroom. You were a mess, curled up in a ball in the middle of the king-sized bed.
“Please make it stop,” you begged, words muffled into the pillow you were hugging, wishing it was your girlfriend. Alexia shuffled into the room with tears brimming in her eyes, her heart shattering as she watched you become a shell of yourself.  
The pain was something you learned to deal with yourself. Years and years of self-loathing from bouts of depression and suicide made you numb to love. Your parents were to blame, favoring your sister who was always smarter, better, stronger, and more deserving of their love and attention. Football was your one distraction and injury took that away from you.
The years of hiding behind a ball and suppressing all those feelings came crashing down when your ACL tore. The feelings were overwhelming, thoughts of self-destruction felt like an old friend.
You were better at football than she was. But that was not good enough for them. She had to be first. Not you.
You thought that if you could just be better at something than she was, they’d love you.
Turns out, they resented you for it.
“How dare you be better than her?”
“How dare you take her spot on the team?”
“You don’t deserve it.”
They got one thing right though. You didn’t deserve it. You didn’t deserve their harsh words. You didn’t deserve their criticism. You didn’t deserve their wishes that you weren’t a burden.
Burden. That’s what you feel like now. On your girlfriend who had to deal with your breakdowns and tantrums.  
She was too good for you. If she saw how broken you were, or how much of a liar you were, she’d leave. Just like they did.
“Amor, it’s okay. I’ve got you,” Alexia cooed, curling up beside you with her arms around you.
“Could you hold me without any talking?” you asked, a voice so soft Alexia almost missed your request.
“Of course, I can,” she said, pulling you into her arms.
They were warm. Safe. Strong. Determined to take your pain away.
She spoke after a while, certain you had fallen asleep as your choked sobs simmered down.
“I don't care if you've changed, but you are so much more than football. You are so beautiful, kind, loving, and most importantly, mine. Amor, you are so special to me and I hope we can help you see that.”
“You deserve someone who isn’t such a mess, Alexia,” you mumble; she’s a little startled that you’re awake but keeps her cool to not agitate you.  
“Everyone’s a little messy, cariño. That’s what makes us people who learn how to love.”
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kingpippthe2nd · 1 year ago
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It took me until this week to realise how much season two has changed my perspective on... well almost everything Good Omens.
I finally rewatched season 1 for the first time since Neil broke my stupid little heart. Honestly, I had convinced myself that I was over the heartbreak.
Do I torture myself on this website on a regular basis? Yes. Do I refuse to read fics without a "hurt/comfort" tag? Yes. But I was fine. I was healing. I was good. I was over it.
Did episode 3 hit differently after everything I'd been through after S2? A bit. But nothing I didn't expect.
And then there was S1E6. The Ritz. Nightingales. And I just wasn't ready. I had heard that song a thousand times throughout the last few weeks. But context does seem to matter. Because here I was, three notes in, sobbing mercilessly.
This scene used to be a safe space for me. A warm little patch of sunshine to curl up in, when I felt down. It was hot cocoa on a rainy autumn day. It projected to so much love and comfort. And now it's all twisted.
The contrast to S2E6 couldn't be sharper. Oh, what a beautiful web of similarities Neil has woven for us. Here are our two favourite idiots, smiling at each other, so in love, not a care in the world, because the world is safe and they are toasting it. Yet I know, what the future holds for them. I know, how incapable of truely communicating they are. I know, how they will break each others hearts, paving each others way to hell with all the best intentions.
You have to hand to Neil. He really knows how to tell a good story.
I haven't dared to listen to " A Nightingale sang in Berkeley Square" in the last week. It will take me a good long while to work up the courage again.
I don't even know, how to end this mess of a post. I just hope, Neil will bring the song back in season 3 and make it be all fluffy and comfortable and lovely again.
To the world, my friends.
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dd122004dd · 1 year ago
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Broken & Betrothed 2
Summary: She is the sister of Nefertari and in love with her private guard but its forbidden and so they have to hide their relationship but her father, the pharaoh has betrothed her to another, so with a heavy heart she has to tell her lover that her father has betrothed her to someone else
Warnings: None, unless you hate happy endings
Part 1
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Walking through the palace at night, she had one location in mind. The Medjai had been stationed at the royal pools that night. He stared at his reflection in the dark waters, silent in his contemplation. The moon-less night reminded him of her, of her deep eyes that once twinkled when she looked at him. He sighed. Her betrothal had been broken yet he hadn’t gone to see her. He should’ve been the first to embrace her, he should’ve been by her side yet he couldn’t bring himself to face her. He knew he was right for keeping her safe, even if she would be miserable but he couldn’t stop picturing her grief-stricken face as her heart crumbled. He could still hear her sobs echo through her rooms. Her mournful songs echoed through the halls of the palace where he used to guard. Her voice still echoes in his nightmares.
“You abandoned me. You refused to even look at me!” she screamed in his head, repeatedly.
His eyes welled with tears as he got lost in his thoughts, within an endless maze of pain. His head throbbed; he hadn’t been sleeping properly. His eyes were unfocused yet he still saw her. She was a visage in white, almost ethereally glowing against the dark blackness of the night. Almost like she was the moon, adorned with the light of the sun.
She paused in front of him, simply staring at him. It had been weeks since he allowed her to be this close. She searched his face, noting his tired eyes. They didn’t sparkle anymore, almost as if his soul was removed.
“Ardeth,” she said, breaking the moment of tranquility.
The moment she spoke his name into existence, he realized she was not a mere hallucination, his beloved princess stood before him.
He tried moving away from her, guilt consuming his being, yet she didn’t let him, moving in front of him in a child-like attempt to make him stay.
“I must go, your Highness,” he said, side-stepping her and walking along the banks of the pool.
“No, listen to me Medjai.” She said with authority in her voice, causing him to halt. “You shall not turn away from me again. You will listen to what I have to say. I command it of you.” At her command he turned to her, his desire to turn away overridden by her command.
She faced him with a look of determination, “I have decided that I will no longer be afraid, I will not be bound. I will not be broken by anyone or anything again, not even you.”
He moved to interrupt her, thinking she was finally breaking things off with him. She held up her hand, stopping him from speaking, “I have decided that I’m going to take what I want, what I desire. And what I desire is you. And I do not care about the consequences. Not anymore.”
He stared at her, stunned, his mind processing what she’d said, “Okay.” He said simply.
“Okay?” She said, trying to reconfirm his agreement.
“Okay.”
“Good,” she said before turning to walk away before reconsidering and turning back around. With quick steps, she walked up to the stunned Medjai. Wrapping her hand around his nape she pulled him down before crashing her lips into his. His lips molded against hers. It was wet, hot and full of desperation, as if they were trying to make up for lost time. Their bodies melded into one, relaxing against one another, as if finally coming home after a long time.
She broke away from the kiss, breathing heavily as she looked into the eyes of her lover, “This doesn’t fix anything, you still have a lot of groveling to do, but I’m willing to give you a chance. This is your last and only chance.” She said seriously.
“I will treasure this chance with my life, just like I should have treasured you,” he said, with a slight smile on his face, thanking Hathor for blessing him with a second chance and the beautiful woman between his arms.
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starkskeep · 2 years ago
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But if you hold me without hurting me (r. stark)
But if you hold me without hurting me r. stark imagine
Pt. 5 of Oh, all I used to do was pray, Right when I felt the moment stop, And I might be ok, but I'm not fine at all, And the life I gave away
Pairings - Robb Stark x female!Reader
Summary - You have a long-awaited conversation with Robb. It changes things between the two of you.
Word Count - 1,133 words
Warnings - Angst, Possibly unbearable cheesiness
A/N - I broke the Taylor Swift title streak. In my defense, I have been a LDR stan since middle school and Cinnamon Girl makes me sob every time I listen to it.
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Songs I listened to while writing: Like Real People Do (Hozier), Cinnamon Girl, Carmen (Lana Del Rey), Me and My Husband (Mitski)
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Robb feels his heart start to beat erratically as he watches you and Jon. It is obvious that you care deeply about Jon as he does you. Robb knows that he has walked in on something private, feeling jealous but also wishing that he could be the one to comfort you as such. Your moment with Jon is interrupted when Robb clears his throat in order to make you aware of his entrance into your chambers. The sound startles you and causes you to turn in Robb’s direction. Jon also turns to look at Robb, his expression wary that Robb would misinterpret the scene.
Robb begins to speak slowly but his voice cracks ever so slightly, his heart contracting in his chest due to an onslaught of emotions. “Am I interrupting anything?”
You quickly regain your composure. “No, my lord husband, you are not. I lost a letter earlier today. Jon has calmed me down and agreed to help look for it.” You dismiss Jon from your chambers, assuring him that you will be okay. 
Jon locks eyes with Robb as he leaves. Tensions eased between him and Robb once he saw Robb trying to fix everything. However, Jon still continues to be an advocate for you. His brother looks back at him, eyes filled with questions he knows Jon cannot answer. Robb just needs to know that you are going to be okay, regardless of what happened. 
Your husband takes a step closer to you. He looks into your eyes, searching for the pain that he knows must be there. You are a strong woman but no one should be subjected to the kind of abuse that the letter contained. As he moves closer, you notice the letter crumpled in Robb’s fist. “Ah. It seems as I I do not need to search for the letter.” You say with a sad smile, “I take it that you have seen what my father thinks of me?”
Looking down at the letter once again, Robb scowls. The fury that had been burning inside of him returns to the surface. His head shakes in disgust and he quickly closes his fist tighter around the letter, as if the action would make the item disappear from existence. Robb nods once in acknowledgment of her question. “I did. It is nothing less than disgraceful.” He draws his eyes up to meet yours. Robb’s voice shakes with thinly veiled anger. “Your father is a cruel, cruel man. To say such things to you, his own daughter…well, it is unforgivable.” He says the last word through gritted teeth.
You motion for Robb to sit next to you. In your almost year of marriage, this is the first time that you have actually asked him to be near you. It seems as if he has realized this fact as well if his hesitancy is anything to go off of. Robb’s nervous movements are in stark contrast to your controlled stillness. A couple moments pass between you two before you begin to talk. Long-awaited and much-needed words begin this conversation. “It’s cruel but what he says is true. I have failed in my duty as a wife. I should have given you an heir by now.” 
Completely stunned is how the maesters would describe Robb if they were here to record this meeting. You are still calling him your husband, even after everything he has done, but you are voicing something that Robb would never want to believe. Yes, it is a wife’s and therefore your duty to give him an heir, but he would never, never force you to conceive if you were not yet ready. He turns to face the fireplace, staring into the flickering flames as he realizes how truly damaged you have been from a childhood in the Frey household and the months as his wife. Both of you have tried to do everything that has been expected of you, yet it is you who has suffered the most and continues to endure. Robb is angry at the world. Angry at the cruel words of your father. Angry at himself for the way he has treated you. Sighing deeply, he speaks after gathering his emotions. “Do not let them make you believe that this is your fault. It takes two to make a child. I am just as much to blame for the situation we find ourselves in…” 
Robb’s words trail off when he feels you place your head on his shoulder. It seems to be a night of firsts. Much like you never asked him to be near you, you have never initiated any sort of physical comfort. You both enjoy the feeling until you bring Robb back to reality with your voice breaking the silence. “I don’t blame you for anything. I want you to know that. You were forced to marry me, forced to make me your queen, while you still loved Talisa. Why would you want to leave her side for a Frey, especially when Talisa was carrying your child? I ruined your life.”
Feeling a tear soak into the shoulder of his tunic, Robb tilts your head up so he can see you clearly. “You didn’t ruin my life. I made a deal with your father. I knew what I was agreeing to when I crossed the bridge.” He reaches his thumb to brush the tears off your face. “This is not your burden to bear. It is something we must share. Something we must work through so that we can grow together. Something I should have worked harder on at the beginning of our marriage.” Your husband sighs deeply and shakes his head, trying to accept how much he has just spoken. Robb comes to the startling realization that he has never voiced this sentiment to you before, much less even admitted it to himself. 
“Thank you. I need to hear those words said to me.” You say and place a gentle kiss on Robb’s cheek. A blush spreads across your face as you do so.
He freezes when he feels your lips brush against his skin. A matching pink tint blotches his cheeks like yours did. This is the first time you have shown affection for him and it feels…good. Robb smiles and leans over to place a kiss on your forehead, wanting to continue this newfound physical affection that you have started. “I’m here for you. I know I haven’t been in the past, but from this moment forward, I will always be here for you my queen.” The increased presence of his Northern accent betrays the emotions that are overwhelming him. Staring into your eyes, his gaze reveals nothing but honesty and sincerity in his gaze. Robb meant every word he said to you tonight. 
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A/N - Once again, thank you so much for reading. My ask box is always open for requests, comments, or if just want to gush about our lovely Stark boys.
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barcalover86 · 1 year ago
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My heart can't take it 2- Pablo Gavi
The first part here - is one of my favourite fanfiction of him
Masterlist
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Finally, I managed to end this one. It's been some time, and I'm sorry for the wait, but I wanted to write it in the right way and to give you a well-deserved ending. Thank you for your messages and unconditional support! I see every request of you, and seeing that you want me to write your ideas makes me the happiest! Have a nice day, love yourself, and enjoy this! Love to all of you!🫵
I couldn't answer to only one of you because it wouldn't have been fair, so I tried to mention all of you here and announce you whenever it's ready.
I've been writing this for days..
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-------
'Que las noches sin ti duelen'
"How many times do we have to listen to this song, Pedri?"
"What? You don't like it?" he turned to look at his friend who was next to him in the car.
"It's not like I don't like it, I just got bored of it"
Pedri laughed.
"Are you sure that's the reason?" he teased.
"Ok, end it here" Gavi said before the two of them sat silent in the car, while the music was still on.
Pedri was taking Gavi home again after the training. It was already 5 p.m. and tomorrow, they have to do some videos about the new Barca kit, so the moment Gavi went to his house, he went directly to his bathroom to take another shower.
"Why is he showering again?" his sister questioned her mom, being concerned about her little brother. He already showered after his training in the changing room with his teammates.
Her mom remained silent until she decided to continue the conversation.
"It doesn't seem like he is good. Are you sure you don't know what happened to him?"
Of course, she knows. He's been acting weird since the night their friend groups went together on the beach. She knew that you were the reason for his sadness. She stayed with the boy all night while he was crying in her arms. He never told the reason, nor did she asked, because as his older sister, she knows when Pablo is suffering towards a girl. Although, Aurora never told their mom this thing. She respected her brother's privacy.
"No" she just answered simply, before going to her room to not continue this subject.
It was true that Pablo Gavi was showering more lately, which doesn't seem so weird until you question yourself about it. He stays hours in his bathroom.
Crying.
He hadn't seen you since that day and it had been almost 4 weeks. He missed you a lot, and he had no one to talk to. He knew that his sister would be mad at him for falling in love with her friend, who didn't even talk to him, and Pedri.. he was going to make fun of him. He had to keep it all to himself, and the emotions sometimes got him. Crying while people think that he's showering was the best idea that came into his mind. Like that, his family wouldn't hear his sobs.
He didn't eat.. not yet. Aurora started to get more concerned, so she knocked at his door.
"Mami made you some pollo con arroz, want to come down to the kitchen to eat?" she asked hoping for a positive answer.
"Maybe later, gracias"
She barely heard him, but it was enough to know that his voice wasn't his normal one.
"Estas bien, hermanito?"
"Si"
That si had to be a strong word, but it only came from his mouth as a sob.
His sister felt like someone had just broken her heart. Hearing her brother at the edge of crying was something so hurtful. Pablo was one of the sweetest guys, and he doesn't deserve anything that could make him sad.
She waited a few seconds after talking again, trying to find the perfect way to say what she wanted.
"Come here, Pablo"
"Come outside, I know you aren't showering right now. Let's meet in the kitchen in 10 minutes. You have to eat and we to talk. I'm gonna tell our parents to leave, we'll be alone."
After that, Aurora left.
She managed to find a reason for their parents to go out of the house, and when Pablo came and sat on the chair that was in front of her, her heart broke again.
His eyes were red and puffy. The boy clearly had been crying for hours!
She didn't say anything more, only went to him and hugged him. Tight. Pablo returned the hug, trying so hard not to cry in front of his older sister. He accidentally escaped some sobs, but Aurora didn't mind. She hugged him until he calmed down completely.
"You have to tell me what is happening to you, Pablo. This is something serios"
"It's nothing, Rora."
"I know you, Gavira" she said with a serious face.
"I am just scared that the next season I won't play that much" he lied
"Oh, you're getting on my nerves. I really want to help you, but if you keep lying to me, then we won't go anywhere. I won't get mad, I promise you."
"I..I really like one of your friends," he said after some time.
"Go on" she encouraged him.
"And she doesn't give me attention at all. We barely even talked, and I'm sure that she doesn't feel the same way as me. She doesn't even look at me as a friend."
"Y/n, right?"
He started to panick at the thought that she knew.
"I'm so -" he wanted to apologise until he was interrupted again.
"It's ok, Pablo. No worries, ok? It's not your fault that you like her-"
"Kinda love her," he said sadly before turning his head to another direction, afraid not to cry again.
Aurora smiled. Pablo Gavi was never this soft. He was a sweety, of course, but she never saw his little brother like that, and she kinda likes the idea of having you even closer.
"You don't have to worry about me, hermanito. Go talk more to her and I'm sure she will like you. You are a great boy, and let's be serious. Who wouldn't fall in love with you?"
They both laughed.
The next day, Aurora invited her friends to their house.
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"Will Pablo stay with us?" asked one of Aurora's friends.
"Yes, he has some plans to do," she said, and they all looked confused.
"What do you mean?"
She just winked at them and then started laughing.
"Ohh, he is in love, isn't him?" You finally spoke after being quiet for a while.
"Oh, you wouldn't know," answered his sister before you borrowed your eyebrows, confused.
You decided not to say anything anymore, but you felt some pain in your chest, and when you saw Gavi walking past you to sit on the couch near some girl, your heart felt like it just had broken. Your eyes couldn't not look into his.
He wasn't looking at you. Of course, he wouldn't. He is a famous football player, he is for sure in love with some influencer or with a beautiful lady that has the perfect body.
The truth is that he wasn't looking at you because he knew that if he would, he couldn't stop moving his eyes away from you. He knew that if he saw you, even for a second, he would lose control. He couldn't even stand the fact that you were there, far but so close to him.
Aurora saw you looking intense at her brother, so she decided to help both of you.
"Hermanitoo, come here a second, por fa"
"What?" answered the boy after standing up while going near his sister.
"If you really want to stay with us, then we should play something together. God knows when we will stay together again like this. We have to enjoy every minute!"
"What game?"
"Truth or dare!"
"Oh, I'm not playing that stupid game of yours"
"Then you won't stay with us"
Everyone was cheering for Gavi to play, but the only thing that made him not go was you. He really wanted to stay with you. He even sat down beside you, really, really close to another.
The truth is that you hate this game. You never enjoyed playing it, but this time, you felt like you wanted to stay.
You feared that something was to happen, and when it really happened, you couldn't do anything but panick hard. Of course, Aurora would ask you something like this after you said dare.
"I dare you to kiss my brother!"
"What-no"
"It's a dare, y/n"
You argued a lot with his sister, and you didn't even realise when Pablo turned your face into his, and he touched your lips with his. The kiss was everything you've ever imagined, and it was the best one you've ever had.
When you looked into his eyes, nothing was coming out of your mouth. You couldn't love this boy, could you? He barely even talked to you.
Gavi, on the other side, was the happiest that he finally managed to do that, and he for sure winked after to his sister as a "thank you". She only returned his smile, being happy for the both of you.
You didn't say anything until it was late and you decided to go home.
Pablo somehow excused himself, finding a way to be only with you. He didn't even know where this courage came from, but he was so thankful for it.
"I'm sorry you had to kiss me" you finally spoke.
"It was just a game after all, it didn't mean anything"
Oh, and how stupid he was for saying that. Full regret starting to feel in all of his body.
You couldn't say anything. You froze there, not being able to leave the room.
You knew he didn't feel the spark that you felt. Even yourself couldn't believe that this past weeks all you thought about was him. The moment he kissed you, your heart felt like it healed and was the best feeling you've ever felt in a while. You felt alive and.. happy.
He knew he fucked everything up.
"I'm so-"
"It's ok. Really. Like, I get it!"
"What-"
"No, like- I get it you don't.. like me. I get it that you don't even want to.. talk to me? See me? I completely understand you. Maybe I would ruin your career if people see us together. Maybe-"
"Para!"
"Maybe you just stood with us, because your girlfriend couldn't meet you today or-"
"Y/n, para!!"
You did anything other than stop yourself from talking.
"And I can't even believe myself how I managed to be like the other girls. To.. start to like you and-"
"You what?"
Now you only stopped, just because you realised that you said it out loud. It was like you admitted yourself to what you feel for him.
You started to panick and quickly got out of his house, with him following you.
"No, wait!"
He managed to take your hand and stop you.
"You like me?" he said softly with tears in his eyes.
"No, it's just-"
"Dime la verdad, y/n"
He had hope in his eyes.
"Por favor.."
You looked at him. You just couldn't stay there and lie to him. Lie to those pretty eyes.
"I don't even believe myself for this-"
"Tell me!"
"Joder, yes! Yes, I like you!"
He smiled.
"I can't believe this."
"Lo siento, Gavi. I know you-"
"No! Don't say anything anymore. You know nothing. You have no idea how long I wanted to hear you say it. To hear that you like me."
He looked into your eyes and smiled.
"Can I kiss you..please.." he finally found the courage to say it.
You were shocked. Completely shocked.
He laughed at your face, but knew that you wanted it so he did it. He kissed you.
This time, it was different. It didn't feel like it was something rushed. It was slow, full of love and adoration.
"I've liked you for so long, you have no idea. Now, can I finally call you mine, amor?"
You smiled widely.
"Por supuesto!"
I hope I didn't disappoint you with this one..
I have so many ideas of how could I have continued this, but it would have been too long, but I could make a part 3???
When they say "I love you" for the first time or when they introduce their relationship to their friends and families?
I can also do one where we have y/n's version of the story????
What do you say about it?
Shall be a part 3 to this one??
Thank you for the waiting, and thank you if you are reading this. It means a lot to me that you also read this part and took some time of yours to enjoy my stories. I wish you a nice day and don't forget.. love yourself!!
I have a request that asks him "Jealous Gavi," so it will be out soon. I hope that it will be really soon done. I'm working on it
Reminder:
@its-astrotea-love
@rens-daylight
@http-isabela
@madelineorionswan
@lilians17
@gavisuntiedboot
@barackosteaa
@magdis-things
@iheartgavi
@coco657
@httpskay
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smilesstyless · 2 years ago
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Needing you
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Summary: Harry and y/n had an huge argument and they broke up. Y/n is worried about him because of his depression
Pairing: singer!harry x fem!reader
Wordcount: 959
Trigger warnings: angst, depression, mention of depression
A/N I was listing to little freak last night and it popped into my mind
Harry was thinking about her all the time, he made a mistake and now he realizes that. He wants to be with her, but he messed up.
He’s lying in his bed and thinking all day about her. Every song he writes is about her. He tries to let her go but he can’t. He needs her in his life. Sarah told him it was a mistake to let her go.
She brought light into his dark days full of depression and anxiety. She was good for him, she made him less nervous before a show or an interview. Since he broke up with her, he is in such a dark place. He got stronger medicine for his depression, if he is honest he doesn’t take them. He lies in bed and waits until this day is over, he can’t do this without her. Sometimes he writes or plays guitar but it doesn’t help that he always thinks about her. He can’t let her go.
He’s thinking about her.
Sarah made him dinner; he hasn't touched it in days. “Talk to her, call her, h. You’re not fine,” she tells him. She misses the old Harry who made dad jokes and who was happy she misses the happy guy who loves kids more than anything in the world.
“I’m fine,” he mutters, “took my medicine,” he mumbles.
“Don’t lie about the medicine, they are—”
“Shut up,” he raises his voice at her. Sarah flinches as he raises his voice at her. She barely heard him yelling at anyone, he’s at his worst right now. He doesn’t listen to her, he listens to nobody except y/n.
“Harry I’m just suggesting that you have to talk to her, she will miss you too,” she just wants him to talk to y/n or anybody else it doesn’t really matter about the break up. She just wants him to talk, she doesn’t want him to eat everything into himself.
But she isn’t doing well. She pretends it’s fine they broke up. She cries herself to sleep every night she hates to be without him. She just wants to lie in his arms and cuddle with him. In the day she looks happy and at night she cries so much until she is asleep.
She knows about his depression and it makes her worry about him. In winter it’s always worse and she takes care of him every day until it is the first day of spring. She made him dinner, she gave him his medicine. When she found out he threw them out they had a huge argument and he told her it wouldn’t work. So he broke both of their hearts. Sometimes she just wants to call him and check on him. Which she does but he never picks up, she guesses his phone is dead.
Today is one of those days she calls him and he doesn't answer. It made her worry even more. It's been over a week since he charged his phone. She grabs her keys and drives over to his place. She wants to make sure he is okay.
It’s been almost a month since they talked.
She opens the front door and closes it quietly. She sneaks upstairs into his bedroom. He is lying in his bed, he hasn't changed since the fight so she assume hasn’t showered in two weeks.
“Harry,” y/n breathes out. He turns around and sees her standing in the doorway. She puts her stuff away and sits down on his bed.
“Hi,” on his lips is a short smile.
“How are you feeling?” She is going through his messy, greasy hair. Harry rests his head on her thighs.
“Now a bit better,” he whimpers. “I’m sorry,” he sobs out.
“Don’t apologize, can you tell me which color you’re feeling?” They talked with his therapist about the colors. She suggested the color thing and it helps them a lot. Harry doesn't see a point in it but he answers it. Green is good, yellow is okay and red is bad.
“Red,” he mutters.
“Sunshine, look at me. It was a stupid fight I know you don’t feel well. Wanna eat something?” He nodded his head.
Y/n made him his favorite pancakes with chocolate chips. She came back upstairs with a plate and a glass of water. “Did Sarah made you something?”
“Yes, couldn't eat. I made you worry because I’m sick,” he took a sip of the water.
“Yes, I was scared. It’s okay to be sick, you will get better again,” she kisses his greasy hair.
“Hate that, I can’t take care of you. You always take care of me. I’m supposed to take you out on dates, but instead we sit in my bedroom and watch a movie,” he sips his water. Y/n hands him his medicine out.
“Please,” he swallows them down. “You’re not supposed to take me out. I like staying in with you and watching a movie. Don’t think that,” she kisses the tip of his nose. “I’m so proud of you,” she kisses his knuckles.
“I love you, sunshine.” He calls her sunshine because he brings light into his dark days like a sun. “Do I have to shower?” He mutters under his breath.
“No, but if you like to I would draw you a bath,” she looks at her boyfriend who has a slight smile on his lips. He looks pale and dark bags under his eyes from staying awake all night.
“Tonight, maybe,” he lies down and closes his eyes. The first time in a while he felt like he’s going to be okay. Y/n is here and the world seems fine, he seems fine. He missed her touch.
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urpaperboy · 3 months ago
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“ Sleep Well, Dear Prince.. “
A YuuriVoice Desolation AU Writing by urpaperboy
Word Count: 806 words
tw//implications of violence + death
And for Better Reading Experience, listen to this song !!
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“Let’s meet up after you close up shop. We can get dinner together!” Those words echoed in Seth’s mind as he walked. As the afternoon started to rise, the places started to close up, Seth was walking towards Alphonse's. They both had agreed to meet up later when Seth closed up the workshop. As soon as Seth was getting closer to Al's place he started getting excited. “Maybe this is your chance Seth, a chance to finally tell him how you feel.” But the closer he got however.. The mood on his face suddenly started changing. As soon as he got closer, Al's door was already wide open, that started growing concern and worry to Seth. He ran towards the entrance, and once he got there he stood there...silently.
He saw.. A mess, a disaster, darkness. As he walked through the mess and called out for Alphonse. “Al? Alphonse? What the fuck happened here? It’s a fucking disa—“ he stopped for a moment and eventually he noticed something... a path with the color red through a hall. He followed the path silently, he thought to himself for a bit as well. This wasn’t blood right? Soon he suddenly stopped. “This is… wait.” He slowly looked up and he felt himself nearly go pale and just dropped down on top of the puddle. There he was, Alphonse, lying by a wall and in the puddle, looking almost lifeless. The white shirt he was wearing was stained in red; however the magenta vest he was wearing on top of that was stained in red, but on top where his chest was, was a dark mark. His face covered in bruises, he must have fought whoever broke in. Seth ran over to him screaming his name. “ALPHONSE, Shit shit shit, what happened?!! Alphonse, speak to me. PLEASE.” He knelt down to pick him up and hold him in his arm, soon he felt his neck. No pulse. “No, Alphonse please tell me this a joke, wake up. It’s time to wake up now.. p.. please. Al.” He sat this with tears starting to fall down his face and hitting Alphonse, he started trembling and soon enough... He broke. He bursted into tears and started yelling holding Al close. He continued yelling, saying that all this was his fault. He continued to hold Alphonse close as he then looked at him "Sleep well, dear prince.." he said resting his chin on his head and gently rubbed Al’s arm as if Alphonse were actually sleeping.
The News suddenly spread like wildfire, some people asked what had happened, some questioned who would’ve done such a thing, but mostly everyone gave their condolences to Seth, the town had basically known the two were close and they had found out he was the first to find Alphonse in his state. A few days had passed, the day of burial happened. Seth stood there, silently, and looked over to where Al was being put to rest. In the background was Finn and Jack, looking over him. They were there for him throughout the whole process, but they did have to admit, it hurt them badly to see Seth in so much pain over seeing the man he loved, gone. I mean, who wouldn’t? “You think we should go get him?” Asked Jack. “No. We need to give him this, if anything he’d be upset at us if we just said it’s time for us to go. Just give it time.” said Finn as he looked over to Seth. Seth was still silent looking at the dirt, in his hand a flower. He took a deep breath and exhaled “I genuinely never thought it would be the day I witnessed this would come sooner than I thought. If anything always dreaded this day.” He said as he dropped to his knees. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there sooner. If anything this was my fault, all of this was my fucking fault but… I can’t say that though, you would tell me now it isn’t my fault. None of this was my fault you would say.” He said chuckling to himself for a bit and slowly shifting to a sob. Seth had always dreamed of some future with Alphonse. A happy one if anything. It was something they even talked about too, almost every time when something happened. Eventually, Seth put down the flower and covered it a bit in the dirt “I promise you, I’ll figure out who did this. Even if it kills me.” He said, and as he slowly stood up he added “And I also promise, you will not be forgotten, not ever.” He took a deep breath as he looked at the burial site one more time, and looked towards where Jack and Finn were, and he slowly began to walk towards them.
End.
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Author’s note - Hi, it’s me Mateo//Oob. This is hopefully the start of me being able to write more for this story !!! Originally I had written this piece back in 2021, way before this AU was even a thing. Now since most of the community now knows that this is an actual story, it’s only fair now I share this piece with you all, along with some edits and a new piece!
So I hope you enjoyed and let me know if you would like more !! :))
Also let me know if i should drop the artwork i had for this :3
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daddycassie · 9 months ago
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Snowbaird Valentines event 2024 - Stars ⭐️ 🌙 ☀️
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Pairing: Coriolanus Snow x Lucy Gray Baird aka Snowbaird - 550 words
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Deep in the meadow
Under the willow
All Coriolanus could do was listen to his songbird. His. Lucy Gray sang, with his head laying on her chest, her fingers combing through his blonde, buzzcut hair. They really were laying in the middle of a meadow, in the tall grass under the starry night where nobody would find them.
Lucy Gray smiled and he smiled back, dumb and love-struck and her singing broke with a giggle as she cupped his face. Coriolanus leans into her warm, warm hands. In his hair, caressing his cheek. Never had he felt so safe. The night hadn’t begun like this.
A bed of grass
A soft green pillow
It was the anniversary of his mother’s death, alongside his younger sister. Coriolanus had cried and cried all day, going so far as to smash and destroy things. When he’d turned in for the night, lying in his bed, he hadn’t been able to take it anymore. He practically threw himself at Lucy Gray, sobbing.
The way her brown eyes softened like molten honey made him want to cry harder, because somehow it reminded him of her. His mother. His songbird. One and the same.
Lay down your head
and close your eyes
Lucy Gray held Coriolanus tenderly while he cried, rubbing his back soothingly and humming to him. When the covey curiously approached, she excused them, and took him here. He loved her for it, oh how he loved her, almost too much. Coriolanus listened to the sound of her heart slowly beating in her chest. Her heart, that belonged to him.
Lucy Gray’s eyes traced the sky, connecting constellations. The most beautiful view of the stars was from her warm eyes. She who was a star. She who was born to love the world.
and when they open
The sun will rise
He who was born to hate and scorn. Coriolanus was so very different from her, how could she love him? How could he love her? Were they not too different? 
But the way she looked at him with such love and affection, so genuine, he hoped the same showed in his own. Coriolanus hung onto her every word. Every verse. Every soothing stroke to his hair, his back, his hands.
Here it’s safe, here it’s warm
Here the daisies guard you, from every harm
When Lucy Gray sang that part he cried harder and she squeezed him and kissed his forehead. She loved him.
Here your dreams are sweet
and tomorrow brings them true
Coriolanus hugged her, clung to her. If he was holding her too hard, she didn’t show it. Lucy Gray leaned her forehead against his. This time it reminds him of himself, and the way he does that to others when he’s trying to calm them.
He’d done it to her before too, and Sejanus… Tigris had even done it to him. He wondered if it ran in the family. Was Lucy Gray family now? Did he think of her as such? Lucy Gray Snow.
Here is the place
Where I love you.
“Did you write that yourself?”
“Yes.”
That night, laying in a meadow of tall grass, Coriolanus Snow wept into Lucy Gray Baird’s arms. He had no idea how that song would haunt him like a living nightmare, not when it felt like a dream.
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Note: My first ever Snowbaird fic, sorry for the angst, I just couldn’t help myself! The idea popped in my head and I had to write it so I just hope I did it justice! (I may have teared up a little writing this)
anyway hope y’all enjoy this over there @snowbaird-events 😘
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04mxfutbol · 2 years ago
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Falling in or out of love? (Ashley Sanchez x Reader)
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A/N: This is the fic I had in mind for a while now! I was listening to Labyrinth and the song inspired me lol. (So kind of based on my current favorite song Labyrinth.)
You walked into the hotel, holding your suitcase tightly. Walking towards the receptionist.
“I should have a reservation for Y/N Y/L/N.” You say to the receptionist. Handing her your ID.
“Y/L/N. Ah yes, room 313, your roommate has also gotten here. Rebecca Sauerbrunn.”
Score. You got a chill roommate.
“Great thank you.” You say with a smile, grabbing the key card and walking towards the elevator.
You arrive to your room, opening the door, you hear nothing but silence. You walk inside the room and you’re met with Becky laying on the bed, a book in her hands. Glasses on as she reads. A cup of coffee on the table beside her.
“Y/N so nice to see you once again. Sure feels great to be playing alongside you rather than against you.” Becky says making you laugh.
“I feel the same way about you cap.” You say nodding your head. “So roomies huh?”
“I’m just glad I got you as my roommate, I think I’d quit the team if I were to get Emily one more time.”
“You could never leave us, you love us too much to leave us alone and unprotected.”
“Correct.” Becky says nodding her head. “I know you’re a big fan of being close to the window so I took this bed here. Unpack and get ready for two weeks of pure calmness with me.”
“Oh I’m definitely looking forward to it.” You say with a smile, setting your suitcase up on your bed.
After unpacking your stuff you decided to take a short nap because who doesn’t love naps. You’re woken up by Becky who tells you it’s time for dinner. You both start to head downstairs to meet the rest of the team.
“A secret of mine is I kind of hate elevators.” You whisper to Becky.
“Why?”
“It’s a metaphor.” You say waving her off.
You grab a plate, serving yourself some food. You look around and see Christen sitting next to Alex and Rose.
“Can I join?”
“Of course, take a seat.” Christen says scooting over to make room. “How are you?”
“Fine thanks.” You say.
“Are you sure?” Alex asks you, putting her hand on your shoulder.
“Why do you ask?”
“We just want to know how you’re doing, can we not ask that?” Alex asks.
“I mean yeah I suppose.” You say furrowing your eyebrows. You look down to your food poking it around and then taking a bite. “I want my own home cooked food. This is a little too healthy for my liking.”
“We heard about the breakup.” Alex says and you look up.
“So is their a weekly newsletter about stuff like this going around or?” You say curiously. How they knew who knew. You sure didn’t know how.
“Hey guys.” Kelley says.
There’s how.
“We broke up like almost a year ago, mutually.” You say calmly.
You and Ashley broke up mutually about almost a year ago, agreeing that you both needed some space. From what? Who even knows. But something wasn’t right between the two of you which made you both realize you both needed to step back.
“But you’re doing fine?” Christen asks softly.
“Yes. I’m doing fine, sad most of the time, crying on the floor sobbing, screaming, crying. But fine.” You say with a chuckle.
“Y/N.” Christen says softly.
“I’m kidding, sorry I am kidding. I just like messing with you guys. I’m fine. I’m okay.”
A liar.
Oh how miserable you were for the first couple of weeks, the realization hitting you so deep, especially when you were alone in your apartment.
“I’m trying to get over her. Although I think I’ll be getting over her my whole life.” You whisper. “But I remember we both agreed we needed to break up so there’s that.”
“Oh Y/N.” Christen says pulling you in for a hug.
“I’m better though, every day that passes by I think I am closer and closer to getting over her.” You say with a shrug. “But I don’t know how you guys expect me to bounce back from the break up so fast.”
“We’re not Y/N. We just want to make sure you’re okay and dealing with the break up in a healthy way.”
While Christen comforted you, Ashley was just outside the room with Trinity.
“You look like an absolute mess.” Trinity tells Ashley as they walk out the elevator.
“Gee, thanks for that.” Ashley says.
“You still haven’t been getting enough sleep have you?” Trinity asks.
“No and it’s dragging me down like you have no idea. I get so tired quickly, I barely even have energy to put on nice clothes to look decent.”
“And this whole losing sleep isn’t because of the breakup?”
“Nope it’s definitely not that. We broke up like almost a year ago. Trust me it’s not that.” Ashley says opening the door.
As soon as she opens the door to the breakfast area, she spots you laughing with Rose.
“So definitely not because of Y/N. Right.” Trinity says passing Ashley and going for a plate.
“It’s not! I’m like not even bothered by it.” Ashley says following Trinity.
“Sure. You definitely have me fooled.”
“It was mutual.”
“Doesn’t mean you’re over her.”
“I am.” Ashley says making Trinity stop in her tracks, turning around to face Ashley. “Kind of?”
“Thought so.”
“I’m getting there though.” Ashley says. “Soon.”
- - - -
The following day you had practice until sunset. Your legs completely giving out at the end of it. Grabbing your bottle of water and chugging it as if your life really does depend on it, which it does.
“Hey, tomorrow we’re grabbing some food downtown. Do you want to come with us?” Abby asks you.
“Who’s we?” You ask looking at Abby.
“Sam, Rose, Lynn, Alex, Naomi and I.” She says and you think about it for two seconds. “Oh and Taylor.”
“Yeah I’ll come with.”
“Good it’ll be nice for you to get out.” Abby says patting her shoulder.
The following day you dressed yourself in some of your comfy clothes to go out with the rest of the girls. A smile on your face as a nice little lunch with your teammates would be fun.
“Are you going out?” Becky asks as she lays in her bed.
“Yeah with some girls to grab some food.” You say as you put on your hoodie, more specifically a hoodie Alyssa had given you.
“That’s good to hear, have fun Y/N.”
You walked out of your shared room, bumping into Alex.
“You ready?” Alex asks and you nod your head.
Across the hall, in the room next to Rose and Megan was Ashley with Trinity.
“Come on Ash get up, let’s go shopping.” Trinity says shaking Ashley.
“Does it look like I’m in the mood to go shopping?” Ashley says, Trinity backs away, arms up in defeat.
“Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed.” Trinity says.
“I’m tired.”
“You’ve been tired for almost the exact amount of time you and Y/N split up and you’re still denying that she isn’t the reason why you’re like this.”
“I’m getting over her trust me.”
“No I don’t think you are, you’re only telling yourself that to convince yourself but you are not. You’re not over her.”
“Slowly I am.” Ashley says.
Ashley pulls out her phone going straight to Instagram. Watching Naomi’s story. A picture of you looking at the camera, holding your cup of tea, a smile on your face.
“I’m not over her. I don’t think I ever will be. I thought I was. It feels like there’s a labyrinth in my fucking mind and I can’t seem to get out.” Ashley whispers. “I definitely thought I was slowly getting over her but-.”
“You’re falling in love with her again?” Trinity asks and Ashley looks up from her phone.
“Oh yeah.” Ashley says with a sigh. “I’m falling in love with her again.”
Ashley pulls the blanket over her head as she lets out a groan.
“I’m falling in love again.”
You returned to the hotel after an eventful and fun day with the girls. Going out for some lunch and finding an arcade where you totally beat Alex at mini golf.
You go to push the door when someone opens the door making you fall forward.
“Oh crap.” You shout as you almost fall.
Your eyes meet green eyes. Green eyes you knew so well.
Oh no. It’s happening.
“Sorry I didn’t expect someone on the other side of the door.” Ashley says and you stay quiet.
Oh no. You know this feeling all too well.
“You okay?”
“Y/N you okay?” Sam asks and you nod your head.
“Christen is up in her room right?” You ask Sam.
“Yeah why?”
“Great thanks.”
You run up to the room, obnoxiously knocking on Christen’s door.
“Christen open the door please!” You shout.
“Y/N lovely seeing you here.”
“I need to talk to you about something.”
“Sure thing what’s going on?”
“Have you ever been in love with someone and they didn’t love you back?” You ask Christen.
“Of course.” Christen says and your eyes widen.
“You have? Who wouldn’t be in love with you, with all due respect.” You say quickly.
“You.”
“Sorry excuse me?” You ask as you stumble backwards.
“I’m messing with you, sorry continue.” Christen says and you sigh in relief.
“Respectfully I love you but anyway, I think I may have fallen in love again.”
“Okay? What’s so bad about that Y/N?”
“With Ashley.”
“Oh well how does that make you feel?” Christen asks as she sits up from her bed. You walk over and sit on the edge of her bed.
“Like I’m falling in love again?” You say.
“Right but what’s going through your mind as you say it out loud.”
“I thought this plane was going down.” You say. “I don’t know how it turned around and I’m once again falling in love with her again.”
“Pardon? Plane?” Christen asks confusedly.
“Metaphors.” You say. “What do I do? You’re like an expert.”
“I wouldn’t say expert but I will say that you should take a deep breath. Breathe in, breathe through, breathe deep, breathe out. Now relax and tell me what your heart says.”
“I want to tell her I love her and I can’t see my life without her.” You say looking at Christen.
“That’s a choice yes.” Christen says nodding her head.
“It’s a bad choice isn’t it?”
“No, no. Don’t rush it. Talk to her and see where that leads you. If you ask me, I think she still loves you.” Christen says softly.
“Thanks for listening.”
“Anytime.”
You get up from her bed, giving her a hug then head back to your room.
Talk to her, easy.
You walk into your room going into the bathroom to wash your face. The light in the room was on.
“Hey Becky I have a question.” You say but get no response. “Becky?”
You pat your face dry with a towel and walk fully into the shared room. Becky isn’t there, instead it’s someone else.
“Hi.” Ashley says getting up from Becky’s bed.
“Oh hey.” You say looking at Ashley. “Becky isn’t here apparently. Weird. I’d look for her in Alyssa’s room.”
“I’m not- I’m not here to talk to Becky. I’m here because I want to talk to you.”
“Me? Oh okay. What’s going on? Is it your roommate? I won’t trade, I’ve been getting the best sleep. Ten out of ten would highly recommend having Becky as your roommate.” You say, face facing down to the floor, your thumb rubbing your pinky because of how nervous you are.
“I’m falling in love again.” Ashley blurts out breaking the silence which filled the room. You lift your head up, looking at Ashley.
“Oh.” You say, you feel your heart break, knowing she was falling in love again. With someone who wasn’t you. You looked back down, biting your lip in an attempt to not cry. “You fell out of love from me, understandable.”
“I feel so stupid but I’m falling in love again.” Ashley says looking at you, taking a few steps towards. “I’m falling in love again.. I’m falling in love with you.”
“Oh.” You say lifting your head back up.
“I haven’t been sleeping well for almost a year. I can’t think, I can’t sleep, I can’t function. Every time I come across any picture of you, I feel like I just fall in love with you over and over again and I can’t stop.”
You stand there in silence, not being able to speak but just stare.
“And I know you’re probably already moving on or already moved on and I wouldn’t blame you. but I-I I’m falling in love with you and it scares me because I don’t know how you feel. I just couldn’t stand and say nothing. I had to say some-.”
You cut Ashley off as you cup her face with you hands, kissing her deeply and softly. You pull away, your foreheads resting against the other.
“I’m falling in love with you again too.” You whisper. “I just also didn’t want to say anything. But being without you has been by far the most painful thing ever. I thought you were over me.”
“I could never be over you. You’re the best of me.” Ashley whispers against your lips. “I want you. Realizing that I was falling in love with you again scared me, I didn’t know if you still loved me.”
“I thought I was but every time I saw you those feelings came back around. I could never stop loving you Ash.”
“I can’t stop loving you and I don’t want to stop.” Ashley says cupping your face, shaking her head as she looks into your eyes.
She knew she was finally getting out of the labyrinth in her head. And you finally knew where the plane was heading, it had landed.
“I don’t want to stop loving you either. Never.”
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mamadarama · 4 months ago
Note
Just unlocked Antique story idc if it cost me 400 gems I want my son anyways it broke me on so many levels I'm going to kill you Madara it broke my goddamn fucking heart the ending AUGH sobbing crying wailing. For once though Double Face operates like a normal ass unit by that I mean they don't try to break up for the third time. Having another duo unit face them was so important though, a senior member like Madara and Shu, and a younger member like Mika and Kohaku do so well to contrast each other and it also built the way for Secret Service and Shinsekai oh wait I just realized all the SS chapters start with S that's crazy anyways back to topic... Madara lecturing Shu about communicating with his unit mate (eye roll) yeah as if. Thing is both of the junior unit mates are ride or die for their leader in different ways, Kohaku aggressively keeping Madara tied down (in a good way) to remind that giant to stop looking at the lonely clouds and realize that just because he's high up, doesn't mean there's people who care about him at the ground. He quite literally needs to look down more (because everyone else is shorter except Kuro and Rei but you get it etc etc) and see the people who care for him. As impressive as they are they complete each other. I keep feeling like Madara is so much happier and lively in Double Face than MaM. I feel like that sheriff outfit is more himself than his own featured scout outfit... That's just me though. I am aware that the other two is just the idol he wants to he: jolly, festive and someone to liven up the party. But he feels.,,, more true to me as Double Face. That's why it's heartbreaking that they disbanded to me... Ough men will literally do anything but get therapy I hate him
Anyways I rambled again hope you have a good day fifjdkdjdkjd
- Madara yume anon 🍀
youre absolutely right and thats actually been acknowledged in canon too. when double face was first formed arashi said she noticed madara seems much happier now and shes glad hes finally joined a unit . (she was disappointed to find out about the darker side of the unit though, and later to hear about their disbandment)
mam is who he wishes he could be, double face is who he feels he really is.
ive talked before about how madara tends to run away from positive emotions because the feeling is so unfamiliar that its uncomfortable , and thats why he disbanded double face. its not that he doesnt notice all the people that care about him either, he sees them and feels that they dont understand because if they did they couldnt possibly love him . so the love looks naïve from his point of view rather than fully understood (even if it isnt), and being loved without being understood almost hurts worse than not being loved at all.
so he knows hes loved but he cant look the people that love him in the eyes and letting them love him blind to who he "really is" feels wrong of him, so his solution is to not let anyone get too close or truly love him at all. he keeps everyone that loves him at a "look dont touch" distance so if and when he self destructs, they dont get caught in the blast (which in theory would work, but in practice just confuses everyone involved) and unfortunately, he decided that kohaku got too close.
you ever heard the song shake the disease by depeche mode. you should listen to it
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dadonbabysworld · 2 years ago
Text
Skz older brother reactions: You got your heartbroken for the first time
Author's Note: Special shout out to @l-luvr for her big brother reaction that inspired me to make this. I hope you enjoy mine as well. Italics are thoughts as always :)
Warnings (?): mentions of violence, nudity, cursing, lots of crying, weight insecurities, discriminatory language
Word Count: 5,937
Chan 
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Why did I have to go to Uni in America?
That thought has been running rampant in your mind as if it was some kind of enigma. You were in your second year of university when you came home for break expecting things to be just fine. 
It was not fine. On the second day of break, your boyfriend broke up with you. 
You were doing fine until someone mentioned he was talking to someone. Already?! It’s only been 24 hrs.… To say you were devastated wouldn’t even be enough to describe how you felt. You locked yourself away in your room fleeing from your parents and siblings – ultimately the world. 
“Go check on her” 
“You do it! I’m not going in there.”
The mumbles of sounds outside your room weren’t your first concern as you listened to heartbreak songs in the dark. Difficult is how you’d describe trying to find your appetite and motivation. The issue was you’d have to return back to school eventually and see him. A knock at the door took you out of your wallowing in self-pity. 
“Can I come in?”
You sighed before getting up and unlocking the door before opening it to reveal a concerned Chan. He looked down at you before hugging you tightly. Standing there in his arms reminding you of why you will always need him: comfort. Chan knew exactly what you needed, just silence reassurance that you’re enough. Your hands wrapped around his torso slowly as you sobbed into his chest. 
In silence, you both stood there not sure where to go from here. As scars played in the background, Chan sang along for you.  He rocked you both side to side slowly trying to calm down your crying. Surprised you watched him sing in awe, not sure when the last time you heard him sing in person was. Your heartbeat slowed to match his, eye heavy and heart heavier.
As the song ended, he asked “Are you ok?”
“Yes. Thank you for singing for me…” 
He smiled softly knowing his sole purpose for singing was to calm you down: it worked. Like you were a baby, Chan lulled you almost to sleep. He was your rock, and it would be helpless for him to try and fight the fact he was. 
“Do you want to lay back down?”
You nod slowly crawling into your bed as he sat next to you. You rested your head on his lap. “Can you sing to me again?”
“Only if you tell me what happened” 
He was very compelling, knowing you wanted to hear him more than anything right now. It was embarrassing to admit to him that you ruined this situation. You were too attached, making him unattracted to you. 
“I ruined it Chan... I didn’t give him enough space. He felt suffocated. I just thought- I wanted to do stuff more often.”
You stared up at his chin. Eye contact made you nervous, so he just stared forward, nodding. Chan had several situation ships in the past. No one in his life currently, but he has been here before. He rubbed your hair back.
“I feel like he just wasn’t ready for the level of commitment and love style you have. It’s ok. Some people are in your life for a season to teach you a lesson.”
Even though you were only two years apart, Chan was way more mature than you are. He had to grow up faster given that he had three younger siblings. Lucas and Hannah were much more independent and attached to each other. You and Chan were closer because of not only age, but you could go see him more often. Once Chan debuted in Straykids, you were already 18 years old. 
Spending time in Korea to be close to him, but also work in a new place to make your resume and work history more diverse. Also, despite being Korean, you had never visited the country before only understanding the language minimally. 
“Do you ever want to turn back the clock?”
You could see the gears turning on his face as he picked out his words very carefully. Not wanting to confuse you or sound stupid in the process of answering. 
“Actually yes. I would make a lot of different decisions, but it would change so much that I just accept the fact that life happens for a reason. What if I changed something then I died because I didn’t do something important.”
You laughed at his antics. Always the philosophical perspectives with him. He took everything literally, and his candor kept you grounded. 
“You know…”
Your words dragged on as he finally looked at you in anticipation. “I love you big brother”
He kissed your head and ruffled your hair teasing. 
“Cutee. You love me??”
“I regret saying that now.”
He wasn’t taking no as an answer. He pulled you up and snuggled you tightly like. It was suffocating but adorable. You patted his head trying to calm him. He plopped down on you content in his positioning. 
“Chan you’re heavy! Also, what about my song?”
He just hummed facing the other way to ignore you as he stayed on top of you. You pushed his torso trying to move him in any way before he got the idea: getting off you.
“Okay my little yeodongsaeng. What song would you like to hear?”
Minho
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You immediately called him to come get you from the restaurant bathroom during your disastrous date. “Oppa” Your voice was barely heard as you sniffled trying to maintain your composure. After you were born, he was always protecting you. His adorable, sensitive sister – the one who constantly pretended there was nothing ever wrong. 
He was with the guys because you heard a lot of commotion. You didn’t want to interrupt their night – they were probably somewhere messing around. You sobbed into your hand; He was so happy meanwhile this is the worst night of your life. He stepped away by the sounds of it. 
“Are you okay?” His voice was low, and his concern was clear as day even over the phone. It was silence from both sides of the line as you thought on what to say. It’s too late to say nothing is wrong… also you need a ride home
“Kai broke up with me. He said he’d rather be with someone who was skinnier…” You couldn’t tell his reaction over the phone as it had gotten silent again. You heard footsteps before he tells the guys what happened. Sighs, gasps, and some murmured comments were made about the situation. The only person you didn’t hear was Minho himself saying something about it.
“Hyung…?” That was Jeongin. Minho had a fire in his eyes. Skinnier? How dare he insult you like that? Did he not understand the threat that Minho told him? On the year anniversary of you guys being together, you took Kai to meet your family. As expected, they liked him since you did. He appeared to be a good guy at the time. 
Minho was the only one weary of him – pulling him aside to talk when you went to the bathroom. His words were very blunt and passionate.
“Hurt my sister, and I’ll kill you”
Trying to grab his attention, you ask him to come get you from the restaurant. He nodded, grabbing his keys. Before you could say anything else, he hung up.
“Hyung, don’t do anything irrational.”
“Felix. Don’t worry. Does anyone wanna come with me to get y/n?”
“Yes, I wanna go!” Jeongin was bouncing off the walls. He needed to get this energy out apparently. 
“I’ll go” 
Minho, Jeongin, and Chan had come to get you. The only issue being that Kai was still there; he decided to actually have dinner. You had no appetite having cried and thrown up from a breakdown. How could you eat in front of him after he basically called you fat anyways?
Minho walked inside to see if he could spot you with Chan and Jeongin on his heels. His eyes scanned the room immediately landing on Kai facing the other way. Before Chan had any chances to grab him, Minho, basically, towards Kai punching him in the back of the head.
“What the fuck?” Kai spins around to see who the culprit was before getting up to fight back. As blows were thrown back and forth, Chan put Minho in a headlock. He tried to de-escalate the situation, but the next words out of Kai’s mouth made it very difficult. 
“Fuck you and that fat bitch” He spat trying to get closer and a rise out of Minho knowing he was being held back. He didn’t expect Chan to punch him in the face – it happened so fast. 
Minho – with a newfound freedom – beat him into the ground. The restaurant workers had no idea what to do; the commotion coming from outside made you wander out the bathroom curiously. Seeing your brother and Kai tussle, it warms your heart in a somewhat bad way. You shouldn’t enjoy his suffering, but he deserved the worst. 
Satisfied with the ass whopping he just gave; Minho grabbed your hand to leave with Chan and Jeongin following once again. Nothing was said on the way back to their dorms besides a whisper from you.
“Thank you Oppa. Can we stop and get food?”
Minho just nodded, changing the route to head to your favorite restaurant. “Anything for you”
Changbin
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You were always all over Changbin when he came home from tour with that being the only free time he ever has. You loved your brother so much; calling, texting, and voice chatting while he was away any time you got any news to share with him. He was like your diary, and you were his – all skz news was never new to you. You were essentially all of the guys’ younger sister. 
They were very involved in your life with Minho, Changbin, and Chan being your favorite ones. They babied you in a way that made you satisfied. In your everyday life, your friends were all younger than you. Meaning you had to be a strong leader for them to look up to, it was the only way to maintain their respect.
It was nice to be the youngest around Changbin and the guys. Being 2 years younger than Jeongin, he was your happy place, your fashion consultant, and most importantly your best friend. Meaning he was the first one to know when you broke up with your significant other. 
They had called a house meeting over it. It was important to console you in these trying times. 
“Okay so what do you think she needs right now?” Felix asked. He was the most concerned being the sunshine boy he is; he hated when anyone else was upset.
“She needs nice words and a little bit of space to think. It’s a time for reflection on what she wants and truly is.” Chan was always the voice of reason.
“I think I’ll just ask her?” Changbin suggested.
Which led to this moment in which all the guys were at your front door. You in your saddened state looked like shit. Hair slick and greasy in a messy bun, pajamas on, and tear lines on your cheeks. 
“Heyy Y/N. Can we come in?” Chan asks. You nod letting them come in. Taking places on the couch and table, they sit before you lay on the floor in front of them. It was obvious you had been sleeping on the floor; the blankets and pillows as well as some stuffed animals looked comfortably spread out. 
“Can we help in any way? Have you eaten?” Minho asks petting your precious kitten: Mochi.
“I have because Mochi insisted. She kept screaming at me and going to the fridge. Also, I don’t think it’s anything you guys can do… I’m just not that confident. I was hoping it would work out regardless, but he wanted someone bolder than I am.”
“Good girl Mochi” Jeongin and Minho praised her as they pet her. Mochi was comfortable with their presence having been around them enough at this point.
“Well if confidence is what you need… I have a suggestion. The gym.” Jisung says knowing it was a shot in the dark. He didn’t know how you felt about that.
“Good idea! We can go together. The brother-sister duo that was meant to be.” 
You laughed at Changbin’s excitement. He has tried to convince you before claiming ‘Noona goes to the gym. You should go too’
“I’ll think about it. I don’t see myself going every day. I’ll burn myself out.”
“Then don’t. I suggest 4 days on, 3 days off. In any order. Also, you gotta eat right. No more chocolate ice cream at 12 in the morning.” Chan warned.
You pouted before nodding. Chan was such a father, but he just wanted the best for you. The next day you were at the gym with Changbin. 
“Noona gave me her workout for you to experiment with. Also, I bought you this.” He pulls out a water bottle. It was big, but it had writing on it. ‘Stay strong and healthy - Changbin’
You hugged him not wanting to let go as you tear up. In his embrace, you found yourself at home. With his help, you could do anything. Including building your confidence, you wiped your eyes and grabbed some weights for your first set.
Hyunjin
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Hyunjin was never in the know about anything in your life, too nosey. He couldn’t keep a secret for anything; he was the new Tom Holland. All love to the old Tom Holland. Therefore, you didn’t tell him anything about your relationship and how it ended.
He couldn’t handle information like that. Everyone in your family would know. Kkami was the only one who knew anything. He was silently judging you every time you cried at least, so you could assume he knew.
“Hey Y/N. Let’s go out tonight.”
Outside... I haven’t been out in so long. The last time you went out; you were single, and it was Halloween then as well. Enjoying the sluttiest holiday of the year, sounded like a plan. 
“Okay let’s go out” You went to the stores to gather anything to make a makeshift costume settling on being boo from monsters inc. She was adorable and also had black hair: score!
At eight you began to get ready together, doing each other’s makeup and hair as well as pregaming. Tequila shots always get you drunk. It is tradition for you guys to have similar costumes. Hyunjin agreed to be Sulley. 
Entering the party already buzzed, you waved to the guys as you passed each of them. Chan, in the DJ booth, was playing a rather good mix because no one was sitting down. Minho and Jisung were playing beer pong; Minho, being the competitive asshole he is, was winning making Jisung look dejected. Hyunjin and Felix began tearing the dance floor apart with their moves. Literally taking this time to dance like loonatics. Seungmin was bartending as he was also listening to something in his earphones. Maybe a podcast. 
The only one not in the mix was Jeongin; he was dressed as a werewolf, and you had to admit his leather man had him looking good. He brushed back his hair as he sat on the couch sipping his drink. It is some type of jungle juice. You sat next to him with your cup.
“Hey y/n! How’s it going?” He asked, a gleam of happiness behind his eyes. Jeongin and you are the same age and always joked about how old the other is ironically. 
“It’s ok. I’m just trying to have a good time yk?” He nodded, not a care in the world about anyone else. He is so attentive. After finishing your drink and talking a little, you gathered yourself and went to dance with Hyunjin. 
“You good?” He asks, confused on why you came over. He thought you were having a good time with Jeongin. You guys looked good together. 
“Yes, I’m fine. Why? Do I not look okay?”
He leaned closer to not say this to any unwanted ears. “I thought you and I.N were having a moment” 
‘A moment?! Like flirting?!’ Hyunjin thought it was obvious y’all were flirting – apparently not.
“Hyunjin please!” You whine hitting him. You had slightly gotten over your crush on Jeongin by getting a relationship but being newly single meant you found him attractive once again.
He had got you outside to see if you could enjoy your night and find someone to finally date. Confused by your lack of love life — he was trying to be a good brother and set you up with Jeongin.
Jeongin continued to try and talk to you all night; he had a crush on you since he met you at their debut. He was considerate of your feelings, never pressuring anything or trying to boldly make a move. 
Today was more difficult than normal; you had on a very good costume which was ultimately just a giant shirt as you were boo from monsters inc. with shorts. He thought you looked adorable, and it fit your soft personality.  
“Soo... Y/N do you wanna dance?” 
You were dumbfounded to say the least. You just nodded and took his hand as he led you to the dance floor. You began to dance very closely to the slow song playing. His hands on your waist as he whispered. 
“I always thought you were gorgeous. I’m glad we’re having this dance.”
You blushed and looked off to the side where Hyunjin gave a thumbs up. ‘Did he plan this?’ You were almost furious at him, but he was a good brother to set this up. He made this break up, even though he knew nothing about it, way easier to deal with. 
Jisung
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You were wrapped up burrito style because Jisung wrapped you up. He called it a ‘sadrrito’ and threw you over his shoulder. The last two days you’ve been crying and in bed. Jisung had enough of you moping around only leaving your room to get your boba deliveries and use the bathroom. 
He sat you on the couch and cut on the anime he was watching. He didn’t say anything to you about why he bought you out here or what he wanted. You slumped into the couch going on tiktok. Apparently tiktok hasn’t gotten the message you were single because your whole for you page was couples. It broke you to the core. 
Jisung slapped your head. “Watch the anime big head”
You sighed and put your phone on the table not wanting to deal with another slap to the head from Ji. Normally, you’d fight back, but you were so low energy having only eaten small meals and boba. The anime was obviously your type – Shonen. Haikyuu was your comfort anime. It’s all you’ve had for entertainment these last two days.
This was more violent catching your attention quickly considering the main character lost all his family in the first episode except his sister. By the time the sixth episode began, you sat up and pulled the blanket down some because it got too warm. 
“Did you just see that?!” You asked him when the sister came out her box to help the brother fight. 
He laughed and nodded. It only took six episodes for you to be seemingly back to yourself. In a lot of ways, you guys reminded him of Nezuko and Tanjiro. He would do anything to protect you. Also, he just wanted to be the main character so bad. It was the only role he considered “worthy” of him.
“She’s so strong” 
“Yeah, she’s a demon”
“I mean true. Would you still love me if I was a demon?”
“As long as you don’t try to eat or harm me, I don’t see why not. You're still my sister in that form. You have to protect me.”
You hummed in agreement. “I wouldn’t love you if you were a demon. I’d kill you without second thoughts.”
“You’re heartless Y/N. What if I agreed to protect you?”
“I can’t take any chances. I’d probably be a regular civilian in an anime world.”
He laughed looking over at you. Not you considering yourself too normal to be the main character or villain. He thought you had main character potential so like supporting cast 1. 
“I don’t think of you in that way. I think you could be like a supporting character to the main character or the love interest to someone deserving.”
You sighed thinking about love interests. ‘I rather be regular than a love interest’ You had accidently said that out loud gasping when you realized. Jisung just pulled you into a hug. 
“Listen my favorite yeodongsaeng. You are deserving of a love that is unconditional and understanding. Don’t let one bad situation stop you from ever loving again. If one person saw something in you, there has to be others out there. Also, you're like seventeen. You have a long life ahead of you.”
“I’m your only yeodongsaeng!”
“Is that all you got from that?”
You laughed, shaking your head. You heard him loud and clear. He was ever so bossy. You just laid your head across his lap as you continued to watch the anime. His words running through your mind: “there has to be others out there.” He was right; someone out there wanted you. When the time is right, they’ll have you. 
Felix
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You were already depressed before the breakup, so it came as no surprise when you were suddenly more depressed now. It was already hard to manage a schedule and keep appearances. Right now? You could do neither.
As you laid in bed, you watched meaningless Minecraft builds for the fourth hour in a row. It was the only thing you could manage to not cry about while watching. It had no emotions, no music, and it was easy to follow. 
A knock at the door led to you pausing the video. “Come in!” You yelled at the unexpected visitor. In came Felix, he looked concerned but stared at the ground. 
“Hey. How’s it going?” His voice somber. He knew you were down right now. 
“It could be better. I'm so tired Lixie.” 
He came over to your bedside and sat down. He looked you in your eyes finally. He could tell you weren’t lying; you looked like shit. It pained him to see you so discouraged and disoriented. 
It’s been three days since you had a shower or eaten. Only water and vibes have been keeping you here. Hoping that death was soon, you didn’t care about those things. 
Felix had led you to the bathroom and since you were out of energy let you sit as he ran the bath. Normal sibling relationships weren’t something you and Felix knew anything about. You were connected to the hip as if y’all were twins.
Once he drew a bath fitting of his standards for you, he lit some candles. He wanted you to relax if possible, so he spread them around the room for some ambient lighting. He helped you undress and get in the tub; your body relaxed into the hot water as you laid back.
Felix always knew best; he was older and wiser than you most of the time. He knew given the circumstances you needed a push to do better and feel better. He could do this if he tried: motivate you but also help you physically. 
The feeling of water running down your head scared you, but you closed your eyes anyway. Felix began washing your hair; he was so gentle about it. This whole process was just soft and caring; he did this out of love not pity.
The tears that fell from your eyes as he rinsed your hair made him panic a little. His relaxation plan isn’t going well; you’re crying instead of laying back. 
“What’s wrong Y/N?”
“I’m sorry. You just reminded me-me of them. I thought they loved me, but they just did things because of their pity on me. It’s hard for me to- to do certain things on my own because I’m depressed. I don’t always care about my well-being, but I don’t want-want or need anyone’s pity.” You're stuttering from trying to talk while crying probably made you sound very dumb. The embarrassment on your face is obvious due to your blush. 
“Well baby sister. Some people don’t understand that pity isn’t caring or vice versa. I have friends whose parents taught them that pity isn’t a bad thing and that to pity the less fortunate. This is a bad mentality. It can be due to their growing up or just self-deflecting. They feel pity towards themself in the traits they share with you.” 
He helps you wash your body besides your genitalia and breasts not wanting to touch those areas understandably. He was still your brother even if he had somewhat seen them; he didn’t need to also touch them. He has found comfort in caring for you sometimes; it is good practice for having a child in the future. He won’t feel weird touching them if they’re of the opposite sex. 
Eventually, Felix stepped out to allow you time to wash your private areas. In this time, you tried to think of ways to thank him for doing this. The first being to put on your robe before he came back in. The second is to say it and possibly hug him. Physical touch was not your love language, but Felix loved hugs and hand holding. Literally vibrating in your arms when you give him the monthly hug. 
You stepped out of the tub after finishing your shower and put on your robe. You practiced the speech in your head a million times as you did so. A simple ‘Thank you Felix. I love you.’ It should be so easy. Anything longer and you would’ve choked up. Anything shorter and it isn’t saying anything. 
The door swung open revealing a waiting Felix on his phone. He immediately put his phone away, smiling at you softly. You went up to him and hugged him resting your head on his shoulder. 
You were too choked up to say anything. Tears warm your eyes and cheeks. This time from happiness. Felix rubbed your back mumbling an “I love you too.”
Seungmin
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Seungmin was a very rational person, usually. This was not one of those cases. After hearing about your breakup, he wanted this man to suffer.
You were relieved when Daehyun said he was going on vacation. You loved your boyfriend, but you just needed some time alone. Spending every moment not at work at your shared apartment meant he was home when you got there. 
He was in university and you decided to go into your career beforehand. You determined that being a successful writer did not require a degree. You worked at an office every day because writing at home was too much. 
You didn’t know he also felt the same about you being around too much considering he only had one hour alone every day at home. He decided to go on vacation to hopefully give you some peace.
You didn’t expect to get cheated on and lied to. He had posted pictures and called while on vacation. The only issue came when you checked his friend's snap and saw him in the back kissing another woman. 
You had decided to play it smart and move out your stuff then. By the time he arrived, you only had a mere bag of things. With the apartment and furniture being his because of his parents, he wouldn’t notice anything big missing. Maybe the blender or toaster, but he didn’t use them much anyways.
“Hey Y/N! I’m home!” His voice boomed through the apartment. You made your way out the kitchen and to him. You hugged him gently. 
“Welcome home babe.” The words — bitter on your tongue and weighing heavy on your mind. Did he call her any names? Was she just a one-night stand? Who is she?
His voice snapped you out of your overthinking, “Damn that wasn’t exciting did you not miss me?”
“I did. Trust me just didn’t wanna overwhelm you. I know you’re tired from the plane ride.” Mentally rolling your eyes as he pulled away finally sitting on the couch.
“Yeah, I had fun. Lots of liquor, fun, and good food. You should come next time. I was lonely.”
Ahaha. Lonely?! I saw you kissing a bitch!
“Yea for sure. I just wanna make sure I have the right clothes for the trip. Did you meet any interesting new people?”
“Nope, not that I can think of. I really didn’t interact with a lot of people.”
“So, who was the woman you were kissing?”
“Huh?” He looked like a deer caught in headlights
“Who. Was. The. Woman?” You said clearly stopping after every word.
“There is no woman. Idk what you’re talking about?” 
“Okay well when you remember.. Call me.” 
That led to now: you sitting at home watching anime on your laptop as you laid across the couch. Seungmin was confused as to why you were home so early. It wasn’t a holiday or someone’s birthday.
“Hey Y/N. What are you doing at home?”
You took that chance to explain everything to him. You showed him the video and had an audio recording of him saying he didn’t do it. 
“Okay so is he at home right now?” 
“No, why?”
“Let’s go destroy his shit.”
You liked his idea, but you worried about getting sued. Seungmin reminded you that he would have to explain the reason an ex would do such a thing. With a family as respected as his, he would never. 
You arrived at a quiet apartment; he wouldn’t be home for another two hours. Seungmin made quick work of being petty and taking the batteries out of every remote or thing he could think of and submerging them in a cup of water.
You cut the butt out of some of his pants with scissors. Just small enough that he couldn’t notice if not paying attention. Hopefully everyone likes looking at his cheating ass, literally. 
Seungmin put chocolate syrup all over his bed and couch. You gasped when you saw the couch. He was busy pouring glitter in his shampoo and body wash.
“Min that is so evil!” You hit his arm laughing. 
He just smiled evilly and shrugged. 
“Are you ready to go?” 
“Yea let me just put this back in the bathroom.” He walked back to the bathroom leaving it in the shower as he found it. You both left and you slid your key under the mat not wanting any connections to him anymore. 
This was a very mind clearing experience. You let out your anger, made him feel worse in the process, and got to spend time with your brother.
“Min why did you come with me?”
“Because you’re my sister, I’m the only one allowed to mess with you. He doesn’t get to be off the hook. Actually, he still is on my shit list. If I ever see him again, it’s an ass whooping for him.”
You laughed at his statements. You laid your head on his arm. “Is there anything you wouldn’t do for me?” You questioned.
“The dishes.” 
You whacked his arm laughing. So basically any and everything.
Jeongin
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Jeongin often came to your house given that it was closer to JYP than your parents' home. You had become a big-time model being scouted at 16. Now at 18: you have a fancy apartment in Seoul. 
The only ones in said apartment being you and your cat Mitty. Mitty was the reason you begged Jeongin to come over. You had been confined to your bed with a heart ache, and Mitty just wanted to play with someone. 
“Y/N! I’m here!” His yell alerted Mitty who wasted no time to bolt towards his voice.
He arrived with ingredients in a bag to cook, possibly. He stored it away before coming into your room. 
“Heyy… How are you feeling?” 
“Like shit. Can you give Mitty some water? It’s a fountain that holds a liter of water so you can just pour two cups in it.”
He did just that and fed her a can of cat food he found in the cabinet petting her gently. He washed his hands and began to make your favorite: bibimbap. 
You had quickly fallen asleep after crying. Your life, career, and apartment were all a mess. You had no scheduled shoots for a week now. The state of your apartment was a mess from you just crying and eating take out everywhere. Your partner decided that having a girlfriend that was more successful wouldn’t work. There was too much going on.
Jeongin played some low music as he helped clean up a bit. He successfully cooked at the same time. He knew you deserved it, and your giant heart will be appreciated one day. 
He tasted the food once it was done before turning the heat off. It was delicious, and it would be great once you wake up. He decided to finish cleaning and take out the garbage. What a nice oppa he was being to his yeodongsaeng!
After an hour, you woke up from your nap and slowly stretched. You went and used the bathroom before heading to the living room. You squealed, forgetting Jeongin was there scaring the both of you. He was simply watching YouTube on your living room tv. 
“I’m sorry Oppa. Did you really wait here for me to wake up?” 
“Yea just wanted to spend time together. Also, I made your favorite, let me reheat it. Sit down at the table please.”
That you did. Sitting in the seat you always chose. The one looking at the door. You waited patiently as he went to the kitchen and returned with the food.
“Thank you oppa. You really didn’t have to do this.”
He nods, “I did have to. You are my only sister. I care for you.”
Never saying I love you; always I care for you. I love you is for goodbyes. At the end of the night, he will say it before leaving in case it’s the last time. Never before. 
You began to eat and smiled when he watched in anticipation. Maybe he didn’t think he cooked it well, or maybe he just wanted the praise.
“It’s really good, Innie.” 
“I’m glad you like it. Did you wanna play a game or something today? I understand break ups are hard, but I’m here for you.”
After finishing your meal, you both played minecraft together. You had a shared world where you spent most of the time killing each other, but you both liked it that way. He distracted you from any pain at least for that night.
Taglist: @lino-jagiyaa @moonmukamiamajiki @/l-luvr [please join my taglist]
If you like this post, consider reading my other works listed here. I, also, accept requests here. Thank you!
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zipzapzopzoop · 5 months ago
Text
There's a Great Big Beautiful Tomorrow
Chapter 18: Slipping Through My Fingers All the Time
Franny dropped him without a second thought.
In a fraction of a second, Franny’s anger changed to confusion. She took a step back, trying to understand what was going on.
With nowhere to run, the stranger slumped to the floor and seemed to curl in on himself. Only then did Franny notice the cord and guard attached to the gun she was holding.
“Mom?” 
Franny jolted when the door opened and Wilbur began to walk in. 
“Mom, are you okay? I heard something break.” Franny frantically motioned him out. “Stay in the hall! Don’t come in!” Despite looking startled and confused, Wilbur obeyed.
“What’s happening?” He called.
“I don’t know yet, just stay there! And shut the door!”
Wilbur did so. He waited in the hall for a minute. 
Suddenly there was the sound of something getting knocked over in another room. Who’s there…? 
Wilbur headed towards the noise in the darkness of the house.
Back in the storage room, Franny blindly felt around the walls until she found a lightswitch. 
The light came on, and even without the helmet and goggles, Franny recognized him in a heartbeat. He may be her nephew, but from the moment his mother abandoned him and his sister, Franny and Cornelius stepped up, and he became like another child to her. She didn’t know whether to be relieved to find him or upset that she had attacked him.
“Laszlo! I’m so sorry, I had no idea it was you!”
He didn’t look up at her. Instead he stayed with his face buried in his knees, breathing heavily. She suddenly realized he was having a panic attack. 
For the third time in two minutes, she went into mother bear mode.
Franny kneeled by him. “Honey, look at me.”
A choked sob escaped his throat, and he hugged himself tightly. “Shoot,” she muttered. This is a bad one. He doesn’t have his medicine, that's still in the future. She looked around. His goggles. That might be why he wouldn’t look up. It was discovered a few years ago that when Laszlo was anxious, his goggles always helped.
Franny retrieved them and tried again. “Lasz, look at me. It’s okay, I have your goggles.” Slowly, Laszlo glanced up at her with tearful eyes. He looked at the goggles in her hand and gently reached out to take them. Franny rubbed his shoulder lovingly. He was shaking like a leaf. “It’s okay...”
Laszlo slipped the goggles over his eyes, and Franny could tell almost immediately that they were calming him down. His breathing began to slow, and his shivering lessened. He sniffed and wiped away a couple stray tears that slipped from his eyes. He struggled with anxiety almost all his life, so Franny always knew what to look out for.
She also always knew what helped. 
Gently as a mother could, she pulled him into a warm embrace.
“I-I’m sorry, I didn’t.. I just… I… I thought…” His voice cracked and broke.
“Shh... just take a second and breathe.”
Franny began to sing quietly, the same way she did when he was little. 
When Petunia first abandoned him. 
 As she sang, he closed his eyes and listened, calming down enough to understand that he was safe, and that nobody was going to hurt him. Not here. By the time the song had finished, he was doing much better. Franny’s music could help anyone in times of need.
“I’m sorry, I thought you were somebody else. There were some men that tried to kidnap me. If it wasn't for Buster and Uncle Art, I don't know where I'd be right now. Usually I can bounce right back from situations, but for whatever reason this one just really got to me. I just… yeah.”
Franny’s eyes widened. “Wait, hang on. Someone tried to kidnap you?! Who?!”
“I don’t know who they were. Some men creeping through an alleyway. Their faces were just… so creepy. I can’t stop thinking about them.”
Franny felt like her heart fell through the floor. Her brothers. Her family. Cornelius.
Someone’s trying to hunt them down.
------
Check out the chapter on my Archive!
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beetlebug-bii · 2 years ago
Note
Heya, first of all im sorry for that terrible joke i made in the comment section xD
I'd like to request a Solomon x Reader
I'm a sucker for him and can't find good ffs or more like not much of him TT
Scenario:
Song to listen to if you want too
( hammock - then the quiet explosion)
So I've been thinking of a scenario where MC is kind of annoyed from the brothers always near them and clinging on them, so that they have no privacy.
Solomon ( who has a crush on them) sees that the reader is exhausted and takes her to a quiet place to rest with him ( the rest is your imagination)
I loved the joke so much lmaooo
Alright this is my first one in a long while so please cut me some slack! I did my very best so I hope you like it! O7
How To Cure Depression (Solomon x GN!Reader)
You
Cannot 
Be
Serious
This is the third time this week
THE THIRD TIME THAT YOU HAVE WALKED INTO YOUR OWN ROOM TO HAVE IT BE IN SHAMBLES 
IT IS TUESDAY!?!?
HOW IN THE WORLD
IN A HOUSE THIS BIG
IS YOUR ROOM ALWAYS THE CENTER OF ATTENTION 
OH THATS RIGHT
BECAUSE EVERYONE WHO LIVES HERE BREAKS IN
AND THEY START FIGHTS WHEN SOMEONE ELSE DOES THE SAME THING
You just
Cant
Take it anymore
Lucifer is always critiquing your organization and how clean the room is
Mammon is always stealing your stuff
Levi and Satan are judging your interests all. the. time.
Asmo steals your clothes for selfies
Beel gets food on the floor
and Belphie messes up your bed at least six times a day
Why do they always have to do this
They have their own rooms
Why cant you?
you are so sick of cleaning up after their mess
so tired of always having to mediate fights
and that's why you're here you suppose
You couldn't even handle being in the house to listen to their excuses anymore
So you came here
The courtyard of the Royal Academy of Diavolo
It's the only place you can even feel like you can breathe right now, and even now you're struggling to keep the tears in
You close your eyes and take a breath, your head resting on your knees
Theres a nice breeze today…
It smells like flowers almost…
You can feel the sun shining on your skin too…its so warm…you missed that feeling…
Wait a second
aren't you underground right now?
Why is there a breeze??? Even if there was a breeze, why does it smell like flowers?? 
And there definitely shouldn't be a sunlight feeling??
Finally taking a moment to look up, you lock eyes with the one and only shady wizard 
You almost want to sigh
There goes peace…goodbye peace…you will be missed…
But the way he's looking at you is…different
He's missing his signature smirk that always seems to be plastered on his face
Instead it's been replaced with something slightly softer…kind…
"Hey" he took a few steps forward
Leaning down next to you, and wiping a teardrop from your cheek
"...hey…" you said back, still unsure
Solomon sits beside you, leaning against the large stone wall hiding you from the rest of the world
"What happened?"
And with that
You broke
You cried on and on and on
Sobbing about how overwhelmed you were, how nothing you did was good enough, how exhausted you were all the time
You really hadn't meant to
But by the end you were just a bundle of tears
You were expecting a comment on how small your problems were
or maybe even a laugh because what did you expect? They ARE demons after all…
What you weren't expecting
Was Solomon gently taking your hand
And whispering a slight follow me
Gently he led you deeper within the courtyard, getting ever so slightly lost between the hedges
"Close your eyes" he said, with a slight smirk
and in that moment you werent sure if you should trust him
On one hand, he has yet to bully you
On the other, you might commit homicide if he starts now
You sigh and close your eyes
After a few moments of absolutely nothing happening you open them
And poof the wizard is gone
Are
You
Serious
He led you into what is basically a hedgemaze and then left!?
You huff, more annoyed now than you were before
You could go commit arson
You could ask diavolo so politely
He would probably say yes ri-
AAAAAAAA
you let out a short scream as a hand shoots out from within one of the hedges
You can hear Solomon laugh slightly from inside 
oh you motherfu-
The hand grabs you and pulls you in
After being yanked through the bushes, you find yourself in a small cove…
Flowers filled the ground, and the grass was so soft….and there was sunlight- how?
"Where…" you whispered, still a bit awestruck 
A place like this definitely shouldn't exist in the devildom…
"This is a little piece of home" Solomon explained, while taking a seat on the soft ground, "I made it with an illusion spell of sorts…I come here when things get difficult" 
You gently sat next to Solomon 
Taking it all in
Who knew the shady wizard had a soft side…
Solomon pulled your head down to his lap, one hand gently running through your hair while the other pulled out a book
He softly began to read
"I don't trust stairs…they are always up to something"
…huh
"Where do ghosts become pilots?...fright school"
…no
"Why did the cookie go to the doctor? It was feeling crumby"
…you were going to kill him
…but maybe later
You laughed and gently swatted Solomon's book of "1000 dad jokes to cheer up people with depression"
How sweet of him
Solomon laughed and poked at your cheeks
you really were beautiful when you smiled
Not that he could say that of course
…not yet
He wanted to savor this moment by your side for just a bit longer
Just the two of you
Safe in your little bubble
Away from the rest of the world
Solomon gently pet your hair until you fell asleep
Watching with a gentle smile
Before placing a small kiss on your forehead
He would give the brothers a piece of his mind later
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tayfabe75 · 9 months ago
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Do you think Maroon is about Matty?
Anon, you know I do! lol But hopefully I can make a little sense of why I think so!
Let's start with the title, itself. Obviously, 'Maroon' is a color, a dark red. This of course hearkens back to Taylor's Red album:
"The album's title refers to the tumultuous, "red" emotions Swift experienced during the album's conception; its songs discuss the complex and conflicting feelings resulting from fading romance."
The term "fading romance" reminds me of how red can "fade" into maroon, think bright red autumn leaves fading to brown. Taylor is reminiscing about a love that faded.
Though, the title could have a double meaning. Maroon is also used as a verb, meaning "to abandon or isolate someone". These are themes we see in both 'Cardigan' and 'Question…?', and I'd argue that Taylor visually shows herself marooned in the video for 'Cardigan', as she desperately clings to her piano in the middle of the ocean…
Once we get into the lyrics, we see that our mystery muse has a vinyl shelf, and our suspect also likes to collect vinyl:
"I love vinyl and I've got a lot of vinyl, but I'm more of a t-shirt collector."
Matty has also historically had roommates: he lived with his bandmates for a while, and he lived with George in London for a time, and later, with Sam Burgess-Johnson.
The first thing to strike me while listening was actually this line, but the way Taylor sings it makes me hear it this way:
And I chose you (pause) The 1 (pause) I was dancing with in New York
If this is a reference to 'The 1', well, that song almost certainly references Robbers lyrics!
And speaking of dancing in New York… that's quite reminiscent of Cardigan: "Dancin' in your Levi's, drunk under a streetlight" and "Your heartbeat on the High Line" (the latter being a New York landmark).
We have splashing wine, and a man who has a heavy association with wine, to the point that it became part of his persona, stagecraft, and silhouette circa 2013-2014 (as well as his clumsiness)
"The rust that grew between telephones" is reminiscent of Matty's lost verse from "Slut!": "Plus 44 on an American phone"
"Sobbing with your head in your hands" reminds me of this performance from late 2014 (just after they allegedly broke up) which ends with Matty literally sobbing with his head in his hands (jump to the last ten seconds of the video to see it). He would go on to describe what happened that night as being partially due to "girl stuff"…
Lastly, and this is admittedly, a strange one. But that sort of foreboding synthy undercurrent throughout the song… reminds me so much of a pitched-down version of the same sound from the Real World version of 'I Like America' (compare them here and here).
Whew! Hopefully that's everything! Thanks for the ask ♥
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thekinkyleopard · 11 months ago
Text
Hybrid HeartBreak
A Canon Drabble for AlxKoxNai
⚠️Content Warning⚠️
Sad, Angst, Pregnancy mention, No Snz
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Author’s Notes: I heard this song “I see you everywhere” and the artist is by /0/0/0/ (without all the dashes). It inspired me to write this short angsty Drabble in relation to Draeko finding out Alistar got Indi pregnant. Enjoy 😉 @aller-geez did the cover, and owns Draeko as well as Kanai. I should have Snzfire p. 2 up by the 17th if not earlier! 😇 this literally just came to me and is pretty short from what I normally do.
“Get out.” Draeko said quietly at first, small tears forming in his duo-colored eyes. He sniffled, quickly rubbing them away at the illusion he could hide his feelings.
“What?” The crimson eyed demon looked over at the smaller with confusion written all over his face, almost like maybe he had heard him Incorrectly, but truthfully, he hadn’t.
“GET OUT, ALISTAR!” Slamming his fists down at his sides while he shouted from his chest, he looked up to make eye contact, he needed the demon to know he was serious.
“Dr-“ he tried again but was immediately cut off. He couldn’t believe what was happening, Draeko never acted like this towards him or Kanai. Speaking of, he was the one to cut the red head off, now having entered the space when he heard the commotion.
“Donnie? Luciftias?” He looked at each of them with curious concern, slowly trying to piece together what might have happened.
“GET OUT ALISTAR, I SAID LEAVE!” He shoved the red head with his flattened palms and the tall demon stumbled backwards with an even more confused expression as his eyebrows bent forward. A slight sparkle of hurt behind his ruby gaze.
“Pup-“ he tried again, but it wasn’t of any use before the mutt was popping off at the mouth again.
“Don’t FUCKING call me that!” Growling low and snapping in between, it was a whole other side of the hybrid that the anti-Christ had never seen. He would almost be turned on if he wasn’t so taken aback.
“Can you just… HEAR ME OUT??” He tried but he couldn’t hold onto his patience anymore, between the constant interruptions and lack of respect, he had had it.
“NO! I TOLD you to stop fucking her! I TOLD you! I let you fuck whoever you want, I let you do and be and HAVE whatever you WANT ALWAYS!!!! And you couldn’t just give me ONE fucking thing? One rule? JUST ONE?” Tears poured down his mint and grey colored eyes, stomping his left foot with passionate force, an attempt at intimidating the large red head.
“Dude that thing means NOTHING to me, when are you going to understand that?? I don’t know why you expect so much out of me all of the fucking time, Draeko, seriously, IM FROM HELL. IM SATANS SON. IM NEVER GONNA BE ANYTHING MORE THAN THAT,” Kanai looked between the two of his closest mates and furrowed his brows.
“What is this? Why are we yelling?” His voice was flat but his eyebrow raised in concern because he had never seen them …do this.
“WHY AM I YELLING?!” He furiously turned on his heels to face his best friend who glared daggers, a look he’d seen only twice, and never at him. Alistar now realized just who it was he was targeting now and took a deep breath, and with an edge of irritation, spoke. “Nai….Tell him, tell Draeko, again. And again. Because he won’t LISTEN,” hissing and snapping his words with emphasis. “That we can’t LOVE HIM, and he needs to get a GRIP on his fucking HUMANITY, redirect that shit somewhere the fuck else….I fucked up ! I get that! But I’m still HERE, aren’t I?? IM coming HERE aren’t I? It’s me and YOU and Kanai isn’t it??” Now he snapped his gaze to the other with force, the mutt fell to his knees and broke down into a massive puddle of sobs.
“I’ll NEVER have that with you….I’ll NEVER be that close to either of you that way….and it hurts so deeply, Al…you can’t even begin to imagine…” he gasped between words whilst he spoke and flung his hands about as he spoke. His nose leaked of snot and his tears covered his cheeks.
“WHY, does it hurt? Explain,” Alistar was still not sold, what was so upsetting about this? He couldnt comprehend why him expecting a child he doesn’t want, was making Draeko so angry.
“Because I’m in love with you….Im in love with both of you…and I want to be close to you both, always…forever…I know you guys can’t-….but I can…for all of us..” he snubbled rubbing his nose against the sleeve of his sweater.
“Luciftias….don’t leak…it is okay, I think what you want and what we have together is compatible…right, Al?” He reassured the small male while looking over at the red head hoping to mediate the anger.
“Look, I’m having a fucking kid, so what? Big deal, you shouldn’t want that with me because /I/ don’t fucking want it….its a CURSE…” he sighed deeply gripping the bridge of his nose in a pinch of his fingers.
“It’s a blessing, Alistar! Children are blessings here!” He spat again, defending his argument tooth and nail because what if someday he wanted kids! He knew he’d be a hell of a lot better of a parent than his own were.
“FUCK kids dude! They’re so annoying…and they turn into adults that are even more annoying….reproducing is a virus, and I’m glad I got snipped last week,” Putting his hands at his hips he looked upward triumphantly while Draeko went completely pale.
“W-what?” He asked hoping he’d heard the red head incorrectly.
“Yep! Can’t have that happen again….seriously…my dad is NOT gonna be happy with me,” shaking his head back and forth, running a hand through his Ruby locks.
“So we can’t ever….” Alistar and Kanai looked at each other almost as if the mutt was completely delusional, cause he was. They didn’t need Alistar’s unhinged genes to have kids IF they wanted them. Which both demons had agreed upon not wanting them long ago. However, none of them had a vessel with an incubator. So that also made Draeko look extremely odd in this moment.
“Dude, I never wanted to, and how could we? You don’t need me! This doesn’t make SENSE!” Alistar threw his hands in his hair trying to resist yanking every last strand of his hair right out from his head.
“What about me?? We could’ve used a surrogate, you don’t know!!” He interjected, arguing against them. He wasn’t stupid, he was aware they’d need other things, it’s not that he ever thought about it, it’s just that the option was ripped away.
“What-….IM AN ANTI-CHRIST DRAEKO, do you realize what breeding MY genetics DOES?! That fucking kid is going to be stronger, and more powerful than me and my father, I accidentally created my predecessor before my time of retirement, and he’s probably going to fucking KILL ME SOME DAY!” He reached down and shook the hybrid by his shoulders. The mutt drooped, and despite the other’s words, he couldn’t deal with the emotional deregulation inside of his disordered brain. He shut down, closed his eyes and allowed himself to check out completely. Al mindlessly mumbled and continue to shake the mutt’s limp body, Kanai stepped up, putting a hand onto Alistar’s shoulder.
“Alistar…enough,” he said sternly but still without much force or emotion and the red head immediately halted his actions, looking down to see the other fully blacked out, and passed out. “Let go,” Alistar listened as he effortlessly released the hybrid into Kanai’s arms who had bent over to scoop the small mutt up.
“But Kanai…” he tried, reaching a hand out only for it to fall back down to his side.
“We are just going to have to take this one day at a time, Donnie…he is brain sick, remember? But…it’ll be okay,” and for the first time Alistar had ever seen him, he cracked his left side mouth into a half smile. It was just enough to make the demon’s brows lift and his head tilt as they disappeared and he was left alone to his own devices.
The End
Author’s Notes: Ouch 🥲 Did you like the ouch? I liked the ouch. 😗 thanks for reading!
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