#then Covid hit and he didn’t socialize

[jadetheblueartist]

My dog was a Covid baby and was therefore not socialized very well at all. Now any time he sees a person or a dog, he just screeches his face off until he gets pets or something.

We were just at a trail and he saw someone and screeched. We explained he just wants attention and they were like oh haha and kept walking, but apparently these other people thought someone’s dog literally broke its leg and was dying and turned around to come check on him.

He has problems…

[hauntedhouseghost]

Misogyny in Shifting Criticism

If you’ve heard about “Reality Shifting” but (like me) aren’t yourself involved in the community, it’s probably been presented to you as a TikTok trend amongst teenage girls obsessed with Harry Potter that emerged in response to the COVID-19 lockdown in 2020. The most generous critics have framed it as an online game of pretend amongst bored quarantined teenagers; the harshest have sounded the alarm that reality shifting is a psychosis. This alarmist reaction to a trend amongst teenage girls exploring their sexuality through such a benign thing as fantasizing about Draco Malfoy was suspicious. I thought they were wrong, but I didn’t know enough about Shifting to know for sure. 

Social media in general seems to have become increasingly conservative since 2020. I see Dark Academia and Cottagecore as connected to today’s BookTok and Trad Wife (through shared aesthetics and hobbies), both of which have been criticized as anti-feminist and anti-intellectual. I wanted to see if Shifting would fit into that pattern and have a more conservative 2024 offshoot. After learning more about Shifting, I have found that:

As expected, shifting criticism is almost always laced with misogyny

It doesn’t have a conservative offshoot, but it is ideologically connected to New Ageism and the “conspirituality” wave that has swelled since COVID first hit. 

Misogyny in Discussions of Shifting

People always shit on whatever teenage girls are into, and this is just another example of that. The mindset that teenage girls are vapid/gross/stupid/etc has misinterpreted Shifting as a solo endeavor, a TikTok trend, and a mental illness. Here’s why they’re wrong:

Even though people might practice Shifting alone, it’s still a very communal practice. As researcher Sarah Perez writes:

“...to call reality shifting ‘solitary’ misses the continuous exchange of stories, tips, motivational messages and more…—making the practice highly social” (“Through the Looking Glass” 298).

Connecting to the above: “shifter” refers to anyone who believes in and practices shifting, not just people who have themselves shifted. Researcher Sara A. Kumar found that only 78.7% of self-identified shifters have experienced a successful shift (“Through the Looking Glass,” 299). 

While shifting does involve seeing/hearing/smelling/feeling/etc things that others cannot, those experiences only happen when a person intends them to. In psychotic disorders, people cannot control their engagement with/break from reality. 

Lots of religions have developed within fandoms online. Others have focused on Jedis, the Matrix, or The Lord of the Rings. What sets shifting apart is its association with young women. Interestingly, another fandom religion that got mocked a lot is SnapeWives. Also, Snape is probably appealing for very similar reasons as Draco—both are quite tortured and feminine-coded—but that's a separate tangent.

I was looking at YouTube shifting criticism and found this gem:

What's fascinating is that this guy's whole account is dedicated to videos about lucid dreaming!!! In this video, he calls [air quotes] “reality shifters” "weird," "insane," and "fucking annoying" and says “Reality shifting is just bullshit, it’s just a dream" (1:30-34). He characterizes shifters as all wanting to go to Hogwarts and “fuck Draco Malfoy” (at 1:15-17). The top comment reads: “Reality shifting is the astrology of lucid dreaming.” Astrology is another New Age spiritualist belief that is generally disparaged by outsiders and is also associated with young women. However, as a wise person once Twote:

With shifting, could we say that lucid dreaming is the version of “reality shifting” that is acceptable to men?

6. Another video I found is called “'Reality Shifting': How the Tiktok Teens are Giving Themselves Psychosis” (by Nicholas Black). In this, the YouTuber says (at 2:04-16) “It was a TikTok on Reels with a teenage girl claiming that she shifted realities so she could become Draco’s girlfriend.” He then shows a video along those lines, and afterwards says “You can imagine I was concerned.” Other videos on his page are titled in similarly misogynistic and panicky ways:

“Are Booktok girlies “corn” addicts?”

“Instagram won’t stop recommending me Tradwife Reels”

“When TikTok users get ahold of words they don’t understand”. The example of such a word given in the thumbnail is “Male Gaze,” which is connected by an arrow to the winking eye of a stock image white man. Beside this is the text: “Please actually read Laura Mulvey’s theory. I’m begging you.���

All of these position him as superior to whoever his video focuses on, and he seems to focus on women/women's sub-cultures a lot.

New Age & Philosophical Roots

Western philosophy focuses on skepticism, as in Descartes’s “I think, therefore I am.” This idea that our perception of reality is uncertain underlies conspiracy thinking (ex: QAnon), vaccine denialism, and reality shifting.

Authors Beres, Remski, and Walker coined the term "conspirituality" to refer to the combo of conspiracy thinking and New Age spirituality (think: QAnon believers who rely on healing crystals to protect themselves from COVID and psychic vampires or whatever). They define the central tenets of conspirituality as:

Nothing happens by accident

Nothing is as it seems

Everything is connected

In “Granola Fascism” (ContraPoints, at 37:51-38:06) she says, “New Age and conspiracy thinking share a hunger for meaning. They feel that all of reality should be comprehensible to the intuition of any individual human mind. This is a way of seeing that is epistemically empowering.” These emotional needs that drive people to conspiracy theorizing also drive young people to ShiftTok (and shifting content elsewhere). Of course, there are other appeals of ShiftTok - creative expression, escapism, community. Those and its main demographic are what distinguish ShiftTok, but at its core is still this search for narrative meaning and agency.

How psychologically different really are shifting and ideas about the “deep state”? What differentiates them is their emotional ~flavor~. QAnon believers of a secret deep state cabal of pedophiles craft a reality around soothing fear. Shifting can craft realities around soothing depression and hopelessness. They are both removals from, not engagements in, reality. Some shifters’ Desired Reality is just like this one, but without climate change, or just like this one, but with their family unaffected by depression. In response to the question “Why do people come back to their cr?” one Redditor said this:

Conclusion!!!

Shifting is actually super interesting!

Fandoms generate actual religions/spiritual practices that aren't any less plausible than older, established religions

Teenage girls can't do anything without people pathologizing it or acting like it's freakish and bad

[jostystyles]

i can still see it all | qh

a/n: this is my entry for @wyattjohnston summer fic exchange! @wildrangers this is for you love! i hope you love it <3 im so sorry it took me forever, i had covid and other life happenings that set me back. i picked daylight from the list of songs you gave me, and this was born. enjoy love 🩵

They say when you love someone, you’ll know. There will be a moment of realization, a sort of ‘ah’ moment. Quinn has never really had that. Sure, he’s dated girls and thrown out the L word a few times, but he wasn’t really sure he meant it. Obviously, he loves his mom, dad, and brothers. Love, to him, was all black and white. It was all good or all bad. But sometimes, when you’ve been asleep so long in a 20 year dark night, the scream of color can come along and change your life for the better. (Y/N) came into his life in the most obscure way possible. He met her at the bar 5 minutes after he was dumped by his ex. After she laughed in his face and told him she was, she bought him a drink. After that, he doesn’t know when or even how it happened. Suddenly she was in his life everyday, and his friends became hers. Jack and Luke took to her instantly, and his mom liked having another girl to talk to. The one thing he did know was that he fell in love with her. He was starting to understand that love wasn’t quite black and white, but it could be golden. She was his muse, the one thing that kept him going when he felt like stopping. Even if she didn’t know it.

Quinn was always working. It was no surprise, being an NHL star. Between games, practice, charity events, and just existing. It was exhausting sometimes. He loved it, and wouldn’t change it for the world, but sometimes he just needed a break. When summer first hit and he was still in Vancouver, sometimes he wouldn’t leave his apartment for days. He had to take a break, just to recharge his social battery. (Y/N) knew this. Which is why she came over to make sure he made an effort to eat and have some sort of human interaction.

Unlocking the door with bags in hand, (Y/N) stumbled into his apartment. Brock was away on vacation, so Quinn graciously offered to watch Milo and Coolie for a few days. She heard little footsteps running towards her and looked down to see a dog wagging its tail and smiling up at her. “Oh Milo,” She sighed. “What are we going to do with him?” She finished, glancing around the apartment. It was messy, she wouldn't lie. Quinn was a messy person even if he didn't seem like it. Figuring he was napping as he didn’t answer her texts, she began to clean up his kitchen a bit. As she scrubbed the counters of the residue from last night’s dinner, she glanced at the wall of photos diagonal to her point of view. The first one that caught her eye was a family photo from Quinn’s draft day, his crooked smile reflected on the faces of his family members as they surrounded him in his newly adorned Canucks jersey. To the right of that one, was one she took of him, Brock, and Petey at a family skate event a few years back. The last one to catch her eye was her favorite. It was of her and Quinn, taken last summer at the lake in Michigan. She was on his back, both their faces flushed with sun and noses scrunched up in laughter. To an outsider, they could easily be mistaken for a couple.

As she finished cleaning up, (Y/N) began to walk down the hallway, dog in tow and a bag of takeout in her hands. “Knock knock, I’m coming in whether you like it or not.” She exclaimed in a sing-song tone once she reached his room. She couldn’t see it, but Quinn smiled. He loved the sound of her voice.

“I knew you’d show up sooner or later.” He answered, standing up from his bed and grabbing a shirt from the floor.

“Well, I have to make sure you keep yourself alive, don’t I?” (Y/N) giggled. She looked as beautiful as she always did, her sweater falling off her shoulders and her ripped jean shorts hugging her curves in just the right way. Two long french braids fell just past her shoulders. Her tan sandals scraped gently across the floor. She didn't like to wear heels. “They make me feel like a skyscraper Quinn, I’m too damn tall for them.” She always says. Quinn didn't realize he was staring until she finally said something.

“Earth to Quinton. Hello?” She called to him, waving her hands in front of his face. “I’m sorry what, I keep getting lost in you.” Did I just say that out loud? Shit. He thought to himself.

“What?” (Y/N) replied, blushing.

“Nothing. Just forget I said anything.” Quinn said, rushing out of the room into the kitchen.

“Wait! Don’t lie to me Quinn, what did you mean when you said that?” she said, following him.

She wasn’t sure of what she heard when he said it. It gave her a sense of false hope when he said it. Sometimes she wanted to scream out how much she loved him, but was afraid he didn’t feel the way she did. This was one of those times where she thought it to be true that maybe, just maybe, he loved her back. If she was honest, she loved him from the moment she met him. He was an idiot, but a lovable one. She never understood how anyone could stand to break his heart, even on the night they first met. Love, to her, was something that she once believed to be burning red. It ignites a fire in your heart, body, and soul, and burns for that one person. When she met Quinn, she wanted him to be that person more than anything. As they grew closer, she realized he was. But the love she held for him wasn’t the one she always dreamed of. It was different. It shone a bright golden hue, and encapsulated everything about him. (Y/N) was pulled from her thoughts by the sound of Quinn’s voice.

“Can we please just forget that I said anything, (Y/N), please?” Quinn said, turning around to look at her. He began to walk away when she grabbed his hand and pulled him towards her. Looking up at him, she said softly, “I see the way you look at me when you think I’m not looking. You look at me like I’m the only other person on this earth. Don’t you realize that I look at you the same way too?” Quinn was processing what she just said to him, his heart beating a mile a minute. He glanced at their hands intertwined at the side. Neither of them let go. Finally he gained the courage to say something back.

Looking into her eyes, he confessed to her. “I think I’m in love with you and that scares me half to death. No, scratch that, I know I’m in love with you. I’ve been in love with you ever since the day I met you. I don’t want to look at anything else now that I saw you.” She didn’t say anything back. She wrapped her free hand around his neck and pulled his face down to her height and kissed him. It was exactly the way they both pictured it would be like. They kissed lasted for what seemed like an eternity, until they finally broke apart.

Their heads were pressed against each other, just looking into each other's eyes. (Y/N) was the first one to speak. “I’m yours.” That was all she needed to say for Quinn to know that she loved him too. And while he was sure of it, there was a part of him that hesitated.

“Are you sure about this? Like, are you sure about me?” He wondered aloud.

(Y/N) stared at him, confused. “I just confessed my love for you in the cheesiest and most embarrassing way possible and you’re asking me if I’m sure? Quinn, I know you’re not that dumb.”

Quinn laughed. “No, it’s just like, I know you love me. And I love you too, but like, I don’t want to fuck this up. I’m not really good at this kind of stuff” he confessed, not making eye contact with her out of embarrassment.

(Y/N) put her finger under his chin and pushed it up. “Hey, look at me. It’s me you’re talking to. You don’t have to try with me. Just being the way you are is enough. Love is weird. But the best part is when you get to love your best friend. And that’s us. You’ve just got to step into the daylight, you know? Let it all go. We can figure the rest out on our own. Just let it go.”

Quinn kissed her again. As he was getting older, he wanted to be defined by the things he loved. And he loved (Y/N). She’s his daylight, afterall.

tagging: @2manytabsopen @lam-ila @laurenairay @comphy-and-cozy @comphyjost @smileysvech @tinyhockey @prettytoxicrevolver @hotanddistraught

[gor3sigil]

Detransition - My Story

[CW for Domestic Abuse, S*xual Abuse, Social Detransition, Misgendering, Alcoholism]

Recently, I watched “I Saw the TV Glow”, and it blew me away.

The ending really made me want to tell a story that happened to me.

Between the end of 2020 until the end of 2021, I detransitionned, mostly socially as I hadn’t started transitionning medically at the time. I did so because of many factors, and I never really wrote about it in details or reflected on it deeply as it was a very hard time for me. But I think that I now have enough hindsight as to why it happened and how it affected me to be comfortable sharing.

So, 2020 was a crazy year for everyone. I was in a T4T poly relationship, living with my partner of almost 5 years and started to go out with another trans dude. Long story short, because this isn’t about this, but I got into a physical altercation with my living partner during quarantine after years of emotional and verbal abuse, financial manipulation and isolation. I had to flee and live with my boyfriend for almost 8 months after leaving. And it was hell on earth.

I tried to not make a big deal out of what happened, but the fact of the matter was I had no place to call home, I was separated from my cat because she couldn’t live with us as my boyfriend’s place was a one room student flat and we struggled to live both of us here, and I had very little money due to not being able to work because of Covid.

What happened next to me leaving was constant harassment for weeks, the people whom I called friends siding with my abusive ex, and I felt so defeated. I couldn’t go back to my local trans community out of fear, and the community that I still had I struggled to trust again. I was supposed to start HRT before Covid hit, but it was cancelled. I got so much shit for just telling my story because so many people treated it as “slander” to accuse a trans woman of abusing me. I had receipts but never showed them, to protect her and myself. While she hurt me, she still was in a vulnerable position and it was out of the question to put her in danger. Let’s just say that I didn’t receive the same treatment in return and got lied about, harassed and bullied by people who thought she could do no wrong.

I started to totally lose trust in the community I used to feel safe in. And one day, I met a cis man. I talked to him, we got a coffee, he invited me to his place later, he got drunk and SAd me.

Two weeks passed, two excruciating weeks during which I felt so far away from everything and everyone, I coped by smoking a lot, I was in a deep dissociative state. I was disgusted, I felt so betrayed, I felt like I had no safe space. I still can’t explain why I did what I did, but after these two weeks, I still had the hoodie he handed me to go home, and I decided to meet him to give it back and talk.

He gaslighted me, using the fact that I was mentally ill to prove that I must have imagined what happened, and I believed him.

Meanwhile, I started getting nasty comments from my boyfriend and his friends for going out with a cis man.

Let me say that again.

My boyfriend was not upset that I was putting myself in danger, that I was starting a relationship with someone who had abused me, that I was in deep distress and not trusting anyone from my community anymore so I basically ran the other way, in the polar opposite way, with someone who treated me like a woman and called my desire for top surgery “mutilation”. What he was the most upset about was that I was going out with a cis man.

I became a running joke.

And when I told him that I had slept with my new boyfriend, he told me that I had “slept with the enemy”.

We had a two weeks break, after which I broke up with him for good. I had my own flat, and I was so fucking traumatized about what had happened with my ex and the vitriol I received for my new relationship that I decided it was enough. I was trying so hard to fit in my local trans community, that barely supported me when I got abused, and now what was left of it shat on me for going out with a cis man, it was the last straw.

For a year, I was having the most isolated relationship I ever had.

J, my new boyfriend, was my world. He told me that I thought I was trans out of fear. That it was a lie. That I just was scared of being abused again so I decided that to become a man was to be safe, but it was not. That all I felt was internalized misogyny I could work on, find my inner feminine self again and be happy as a woman. And I believed him. Oh, how I trusted him. I was not even in my mid twenties yet and he was in his early thirties, he must know better. I started using my deadname and feminine pronouns again. I bought dresses, skirts, even wore make up on occasions.

For a year, I killed myself. Slowly but surely. I was a full blown alcoholic, the relationship was becoming more and more abusive and isolating, I spent most of my time with him, most of the time we were drunk, most of the time things weren’t consensual, and it became my new normal.

I was retraumatizing myself. Relieving things I lived in the past because I felt so betrayed.

I had no friends left, the only one I still had didn’t hear about me until the end of my relationship with J. One time I saw her in the street, I was drunk, and J corrected her when she called me “he”. Said it was “she” now. And I said nothing.

We were in a poly relationship, and after the one year mark, after a few traumatizing hookups with random dudes on Tinder, I found my current partner. And when I started to get treated like I deserved to be, I started to snap back. I started fighting back when J acted out, I started seeing the dark place I was in.

Two things made me realize how bad I had been lying to myself.

The first one was a TikTok trend, the one with the song “My Little Dark Age”. The first time I saw a trans man doing this trend with photos of him being himself, then going back to the closet, and in present times, out. “Just know that if you hide, it doesn’t go away”. I sobbed uncontrollably for hours after seeing it.

The second one was one time, drunk, with my partner, I was telling them about the “time where I was trans”. And I was telling them about binders, and offered to show them how it was when I was wearing it. I had thrown away everything I had related to being trans in a cardboard box. I took it out and put it on. Looked at myself in the mirror. And burst out in tears. My partner hold me while I said in between sobs: “how could I do this to myself ?”, “it feels so right, why does it feels so right ? I though I’d be happy as a woman !”. And I cried and cried and cried.

Two weeks later I changed my name again. 2 months after, I broke up with J.

I wanted to tell this story as a cautionnary one. I know that I failed myself. But I can’t help but think that I was also failed in a way. By my community, by the spaces I was in both online and IRL. I am not blaming the individuals. This isn’t about “detransition”. This is about care.

This is a reminder to care. To be kind.

I don’t regret what happened. It’s part of me now. But sometimes I can’t help but wonder how things would’ve turned out if, instead of making fun of me for going out with a cis man, my then friends would’ve asked me kindly why I decided to go out with him. What changed in my mind between the night he SAd me and now. Or just offered a shoulder to cry on. What would’ve happened if I had been offered support for the trauma I was going through, if I hadn’t been told that in the end, J had won, he “have gotten what he wanted”.

“Why is it always so easy for cis men, to get what they want ?”

And in these statements, I became an object. A “want”. And I think that’s one of the main reason I lost every ounce of trust I had left in people who swore they were on my side and had my back.

You may not understand why people make some decisions. But please, before any politics get involved, remember than whose around you are people. Human. With complicated and sometimes conflicting feelings. Flawed. And worthy of your understanding.

This is about not letting politics and theories make you forget to care for one another, to protect each other, and to be here. It can change everything.

[mariacallous]

Earlier this week, after warping across the galaxy for 90 hours in a sentient spacecraft, Twitch streamer John Wissmiller realized that Concord was the best first-person shooter he’d played in a decade.

“The gunplay was crunchy, the movement was smooth, and the progression felt rewarding,” he says. “I was even more enthralled by the world the developers had created when I looked into the lore.”

He wasn’t alone. “One of the biggest perks about the game was the absence of toxicity within the player community,” says Kelle Dees, a content creator at KDeesGamez. “Everything about the game was positive and inclusive.”

On Wednesday, less than two weeks after the game’s August 23 launch, Sony announced it was taking Concord offline and offering full refunds to anyone who had purchased it on PlayStation 5 or PC. “While many qualities of the experience resonated with players, we also recognize that other aspects of the game and our initial launch didn’t land the way we’d intended,” wrote Ryan Ellis, Concord’s director at Firewalk Studios, a division of Sony Interactive Entertainment.

“I was completely devastated,” Wissmiller says. “We’ve never seen a first-party title from Sony get this kind of treatment.”

In fact, we’ve never seen any AAA video game get this kind of treatment—and that’s what could make Concord a horrifying canary in the coal mine for gamers and game workers alike.

“It’s unprecedented for a game of this scale to be shut down so quickly,” says Liam Deane, a video game analyst at Omdia. “Usually publishers keep games that struggle at launch on life support for a while, but in Concord’s case the launch was so bad there was clearly no way back.”

Like Fortnite, Destiny 2, and Valorant, Concord was meant to be a live-service game that constantly released new updates over the course of several years. But while those other games are free to play—and rely on microtransactions to make money—Concord cost $40 up front. “It's just very difficult to break into competitive multiplayer games [and] displace the existing top titles,” says Simon Carless, an industry analyst who publishes the GameDiscoverCo newsletter. “These are the kind of titles that players socialize with their friends in, and they're often not motivated to switch games.”

Sony hasn’t revealed how many copies of Concord sold between August 23 and September 3, but the number of active PC players on the Steam platform peaked at just 697 on launch day. That’s abysmally low for a major release that spent eight years in development; Sony’s previous live-service game, Helldivers 2, had over 155,000 players on its first day, back in February, and later peaked at 458,709.

Helldivers 2, though, was a breakout hit that already had an established fanbase. Concord, on the other hand, was a brand-new franchise that didn’t get much of a marketing push and drew the ire of “anti-woke” snivelers who complained about the game’s use of pronouns on its character selection screen.

“For big companies, it's difficult to work out what bets—and how large bets—you should make,” says Carless. “Some of the corporate overexuberance during Covid and low interest rates has meant that large companies overextended, and the pullback has been—and is going to be—painful.”

Over the past 20 years, the brutal blockbuster-or-bust mentality of Silicon Valley startups has spread to executives across the entertainment industry. Movies with $100 million production budgets are considered dead on arrival after a bad opening weekend and are quickly ripped from theaters. TV series are canceled after failing to meet undisclosed performance metrics in their first seasons.

Now, the quick death of Concord, which officially went offline today, points to a similar mindset in the video game industry that could kill creativity, reduce jobs, and shutter entire studios.

“If you have a stable parent company with a balanced set of single-player and [live-service] releases, you should be in decent shape,” says Carless. But “the middle of the market is disintegrating. The games industry is deprofessionalizing in many ways; games as a stable profession will be tricky for many people in high-GDP countries.”

If studio C-suites keep cutting all the buds that don’t instantly blossom, the golden age of gaming of the 2020s—a mix of AAA blockbusters like Elden Ring, The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom, and Baldur’s Gate 3, alongside smaller-budget gems like Tunic, Chants of Sennar, and the reimagining of 1997’s Riven—could already be over.

“I think innovation is more likely to come from smaller companies with lower budgets that are happier to take risks,” says Piers Harding-Rolls, who leads the games research team at Ampere Analysis. “This has really been true for many years, but the current commercial environment makes that truer than ever.” Still, even the future of indies is uncertain and may be somewhat dependent on funding efforts like Innersloth’s Outersloth initiative.

Concord may have gotten off to a slow start with gamers (most of whom hadn’t heard of it yet) and critics (who didn’t love the initial character designs), but the same could be said of Elder Scrolls Online, which has since made more than $2 billion, or the Destiny franchise, which celebrates its 10-year anniversary this year, or No Man’s Sky, which has become a cult classic.

If those games were released now, would they survive longer than Concord did—longer than the lifespan of a honeybee? The answer lies with the most ruthless beekeepers in the industry, and all they care about is the honey.

[writtenonreceipts]

Rowaelin Month Day Six: Forced Proximity @rowaelinscourt

link to masterlist here

She is a mess because I wrote her in one day between doing my real job and trying not to cry xoxo

Warnings: mild covid references/quarantine days, very poorly edited

level of concern (tell me we're alright)

The apartment was too small.  Aelin hadn’t noticed it until now, but two rooms and a single bathroom with a kitchen that easily melted into the living room was hardly enough space for two people.  Two people who hated each other.

Aelin threw herself down on the couch, gripping her coffee in one hand.  She’d long ago mastered the art of equilibrium where any sort of caffeine was involved so she didn’t spill anything as she sprawled across the plush cushions.  Groaning, she leaned her head back and tried, so very hard, not to lose her ever loving mind.

It was only week three of quarantine and she was going insane.

She missed going outside whenever she felt like it.  She missed going shopping.  She missed her friends.  She missed people.  Instead, she was trapped here with the one person she did not want to be.

“Do you always have to sound like a dying whale?” A very unamused voice called from the kitchen table, a grand ‘ol four steps away.

Aelin flashed a single finger over the top of the couch.  She got a grunt of disapproval in return.

“It’s eight twenty-two, well outside of your precious quiet hours,” she informed her roommate. “I can do whatever I want.”

Another grunt.

Aelin shifted to peek over the couch to glare. “You sound like a dying walrus.”

And Rowan Whitethorn promptly choked on his cereal.  Two days in a row—Aelin was on a winning streak.

When Aelin first moved to Doranelle three months ago, her plan was to have her own apartment, a dog, a perfect new job, and a social life.  What she got was a crash landing with her nemesis, no dog, the worst job known to man, and quarantine.

She and Rowan had been at each other's throats since they met one fateful night at a bar.  Rowan spilled beer on her, an accident, and promptly insulted her two minutes later after trying to hit on her.

As it turned out, he was friends with Aelin’s old roommates' boyfriends.  She should have known he was the worst considering he and Lorcan Salvaterre got on.  

The bar scene ended with a fight, more beer spillage (on purpose), and a promise of vengeance.

Unfortunately for Aelin, her prospective lease fell through and she would have been homeless if not for the extra room in Rowan’s apartment.  And then covid struck and Aelin was trapped.

Hence, her beached whale position (and sounds) from the couch.  Life was one cosmic joke after another.

“You don’t always have to make your presence known, y’know,” Rowan commented as he pretended, he hadn’t almost had multi-grain Wheaties shooting out of his nose.

“Of course I do,” Aelin argued, “how else can I annoy you before quiet hours begin?”

His green eyes flashed and he rose from his seat at the table, already dressed in a button up and slacks.  For Zoom meetings.  Like a lunatic.  If he’d been wearing a tie she would have teased him for it.  Of all things the man should still be in shorts and a t-shirt.  At least the button up stretched in interesting ways over Rowan’s broad shoulders.  He might have been the bane of her existence but he was nice to look at.

“Don’t you have a job?” he asked, putting his dishes in the sink. “Ah, I forgot, you don’t.”

“Freelance writing is a job,” Aelin said.  She sat up straighter so she could better glare at him. “It’s not my fault things have slowed down.”

Indeed, Aelin’s literature degree had taken a hit given the state of the world right now.  She’d hoped she would have a job at a major publishing company or magazine or something.  Instead, she’d been rejected from job after job and was trying to write freelance articles to keep up on rent.  It…wasn’t going well.  Which had led her to content creating for Instagram.  She read books and talked about them and it kept her somewhat sane.  Until Rowan mocked her for it.

“Rent’s due on the fifth!” he called as he disappeared down the hall to his room to shut in for his work day to begin.

Aelin had no idea what he did, only that it involved not having a sense of humor.  Something with marketing?  But his degree was in history if Elide was right…

She shrugged and took a long sip of her coffee.  She had less than twenty minutes before quiet hours started at eight-forty and ended at five thirty when the work day ended and she had every intention of making as much noise as possible.

…

Rowan knew he was an ass.  He’d always been known as the asshole throughout high school, college, the steps in-between.  Even his friends often thought he was worse than Lorcan.  Lorcan of all people.

Granted, ever since Elide came into the picture, Lorcan had mellowed out and even smiled once a week.

Rowan found scowling to be more beneficial.  Especially when it came to getting Sam Cortland to shut up in the daily staff meetings they had over Zoom.

His degree was in art history and appraising--a limited degree where all he’d wanted to do was work in a museum organizing exhibits.  Not writing legal documents for rich men to take art from their rightful owners.

The irony was not lost on him that perhaps he shouldn’t give Aelin such a hard time about her job and the fact she wasn’t using her degree very much.  

The only problem was he’d dug himself into a hole and now he had no idea how to get out.

Aelin, for all eccentricities, was smart and did work hard.  She was doing everything possible to stay afloat--sarcasm included.

Their first meeting at the bar had only gone so miserable because Rowan didn’t know when to shut up and apparently had a unique skill of insulting beautiful women.  What a time to learn that.

English?  Isn’t that the easiest thing to study?

She should have slapped him and not just dumped beer in his lap.

Rowan leaned back in his seat as the project manager started talking over the new contract that would be drawn up between a client and their acquisitions.  It continued on for too long and Rowan just wanted to get back to his own assignments.  By the time late afternoon rolled around, he was ready to log off and be done for the day.

He’d always considered himself to be a homebody, but this was getting ridiculous.  He wanted to be out doing things.  But the trails were closed, his friends were spread out over the country, and there was the risk of a disastrous illness running amuck.

So he was trapped in an apartment with Aelin Galathynius.  The place had always felt enormous until she’d moved in.  But she had a way of filling every space she occupied.  Other than the various bathroom accouterments she had there were the dozens of fleece blankets, the books, the personality.  Even he had to admit she was different from anyone he’d met before.

Unfortunately, she was very good at holding grudges.

He’d tried apologizing for getting off on the wrong foot when she first moved in, but her mind was already made up.  Then came the way she was loud, talkative, rambunctious.  Quarantine was not meant for her.  After one day he’d realized that she needed space and freedom and the ability to do whatever she wanted.  The jury was still out on how he felt about that.

He was finally able to mute his other coworkers when a loud crash echoed from the kitchen.  Rowan rolled his eyes.  It was two, so of course Aelin was getting snacky.  He’d clocked her eating habits and quickly learned she needed to eat at least eight times a day to be in a good mood.  Seven of those times had to involve chocolate.

She had been doing better at keeping quiet while he was in his zoom meetings so Rowan tried to control his ire.  Really, she hadn’t been a bad roommate.  She’d tried to keep the peace between them and even offered to include him on DoorDash orders.  All of her orders were from the local dessert shop and Rowan didn’t eat much sugar so that didn’t help matters.   

Another crash from the kitchen followed by the patter of feet to the linen closet.

“Damndamndamndamn,” Aelin chanted as she went.

Rowan froze.  She’d broken his sink again, hadn’t she?  He glanced at his computer but no one was paying attention, all engaged in their own work.  Besides, he could step away from a minute if he needed to.

Standing, Rowan slipped into the hall and down to the kitchen.  He braced himself for anything and everything.  Knowing Aelin there could be a dead body.

What he was completely unprepared for was the settling plume of flour and mess of various baking items scattered around the kitchen.

“What the hell are you doing?” he blurted before he could stop himself.

Aelin turned from the counter, her blonde hair spilling out of a messy bun.  Her t-shirt and shorts (that showed off her lean legs) were covered in a mix of flour and butter, her face smudged too.  He knew he should stop staring.  Really, he’d seen her first thing in the morning looking like the walking dead and in the middle of the night crying to Taylor Swift.  And now, covered in flour, eyes wide with panic.  He would admit it only to himself and deny it if anyone asked him--but she was still the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen.

“It’s cookie Friday,” Aelin said, she had a towel in one hand, spatula in the other.  A bottle of vanilla was tipped over as she was trying to mop up the mess. “Sorry.”

“You hate cooking, or baking, or anything involving an oven,” Rowan reminded her.

“Which is why I’m only going to eat the dough raw,” Aelin said, voice growing quieter with each word.  Her blue eyes were comically wide as she gestured around the kitchen. “Then the thing exploded and the other thing tipped over and it turned into a mess and I was trying to be quiet because you are a grumpy buzzard, even on Fridays, and I know you’re at work but I really needed cookies.”

Aelin continued to look at him with her large eyes as she offered a sympathetic shrug of her shoulders.  

"Sorry?"

Rowan didn't know if he should laugh or be irritated or something else.  But all he really could do was stare at her.  It was such an Aelin thing for her to do that really, he couldn't be mad.

"You know raw cookie dough is bad for you right?" He asked.

"No, it literally feeds the soul," she set.

With a wet thwack, she dropped the towel in the sink and righted the vanilla bottle.  Most of it had spilled out leaving a sickly-sweet scent cloying in the air. "And I don't care what scientists or other miserable things you read say."

Rowan rolled his eyes. He should have known better than to try and reason with her. "Alright fine.  Eat your salmonella."

"I will, thank you," she said.  A patch of flour still clung to her cheek giving her bravado a little less umph than he was sure she wanted. "And I'll clean up, no need to worry your poor old heart about that."

"I'm not old," he said.  Thirty was a perfectly reasonable age.

"Yeah, yeah."  She patted herself down, sending little plumes of flour all over the place.  She tried righting her hair, but it seemed to be of no use—most of the tendrils had broken free and she was stuck with a curling mass in the nape of her neck. "Go back to work, I'm sure nothing will get done without you."

And Rowan in a bought of what had to be pure reckless abandonment shook his head. "Nah.  I'm not that important."

Aelin raised a brow. "Really? Even with your real degree and real work you put into college."

Well.  He deserved that. 

"Yeah?"

Aelin eyed him skeptically before tossing another clean towel at him. "You get the floor I'll get the cabinets."

And then because the apartment had somehow shrunk in the last three months—they were continually in each other’s way.  Rowan brushing her leg, Aelin grabbing his shoulder when she nearly fell over while reaching for the top cabinets, both going for the sink at the same time.  It was chaos.  And because Rowan didn't know how to sort out his own feelings, he found his skin heating at each touch, his heart race at each glance.  And he knew, he knew he was a fool.  But if the past three months had taught him anything—it was that he could be very wrong about a great deal of things.

When the kitchen was somewhat restored to order.  Aelin sighed. "I guess that'll have to do.  I'll dig out the real cleaning products in a minute, I have to meet with one of my editors.  Hopefully one of my articles was accepted this time."

She said the last part flippantly, but Rowan could sense the tension rolling off of her.  She wanted that job to go through, needed it.  

"I'm sure it will," he said.

Aelin rolled her eyes. "You don't have to offer a pity compliment buzzard; I know it's not your style."

“It’s not--” Rowan cursed and looked away, running a hand through his hair anxiously. “We both know what I said back then wasn’t true.  I know it must have taken work and dedication to get your degree.”

“Thanks.  It did.” She was unapologetic with her bold words, just as he would expect her to be. “I won’t keep you.  I promise I’ll have the rest of this cleaned up before bed.”

“It’s fine,” Rowan said. 

Aelin grabbed the dirty towels to take to the small laundry alcove but Rowan stopped her.

“You’ve got flour,” he tried to explain that there was still a steak of flour on her cheek, but he was already reaching out, brushing it away with a quick swipe of his thumb.

Aelin froze, watching him as if she didn’t recognize him.  Not that he could blame her, he was actually being nice.  Her lips parted as if to say something, but Rowan’s phone gave a loud ping from where he’d left it in his room.  He’d hooked his notifications onto a larger speaker setting so he wouldn’t miss anything during the day if he got up to leave his desk.

“Work calls, right?”  Aelin joked with a small, half smile.  And then she was gone down the hall.

Rowan cursed again, running a hand over his face. 

“Get it together, Whitethorn,” he muttered, before he too returned to his room.

*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*

tags are a joke rn. please consider reblogging?

love yall

[ashwithane]

happy 5th anniversary, fire emblem three houses!

i didn’t have time to do anything super elaborate, but i’m glad i could at least make some simple drawings of how i looked when the game released vs how i look now. i tried to give them a similar vibe to the in-game portraits haha

rant below about my feelings right now because there’s a Lot to say! content warning for mental illness and childhood trauma 🫠🤙

as you can see in the drawings, i’ve come a long way in the past five years. when three houses first released, i was a deeply insecure high schooler who never dared to speak up or express themself. i struggled with self worth issues and had long since begun developing ocd symptoms as a result of the fear i had that there was something wrong with me, something i couldn’t possibly know or change but that everyone would see if i made a single wrong move.

throughout high school, and my adolescence as a whole, i had a hard time connecting with people. but when i played three houses, i connected with the story, the characters, the ability to replay it again and again and always try something new, change characters’ classes and find new paired endings and discover the little details i hadn’t noticed before. i was playing three houses the weekend after covid lockdown was announced, and i remember talking to one of my friends about this cool game i’d just started my second playthrough of. we laughed and talked about the game, figuring that lockdown would only last a few weeks, and then things would be back to normal.

lockdown was difficult for me, as it was for most people. but at the same time, not going to school in person meant i could afford to let my guard down. i could afford to unmask, and discover who i was when i didn’t spend every moment in fear of what others would think. and so when lockdown ended, i started college still timid, but somewhat more familiar with who i was inside.

and then, one day, a thought hit me out of nowhere.

“am i trans???”

and thus began the journey of self-discovery that was my first summer after college. i started using the name ashe, started using any pronouns and later switched to just they/them. i also finally got up the courage to tell my parents i wanted to get tested for autism, and came back with that diagnosis to explain almost everything i hadn’t had the words to understand before.

recently, my mental health has gotten worse. i got diagnosed with anxiety at the same time i got my autism diagnosis, but nobody told me i have ocd as well until earlier this year. things took a nosedive for me over this past school year—i stopped taking risks, barely left my college campus, barely allowed myself to put effort into social connections out of fear that i’d be forcing people to put up with me. but through therapy and medication, i’ve been working through those feelings, and the fears my brain internalized as a result of the way i grew up: feeling like something was wrong with me, but not knowing what. today, i feel pretty good! i’ve been having more and more good days, so i’m overall optimistic about what my future holds.

to bring this back on topic, fire emblem: three houses has gotten me through countless tough times, and has been immensely helpful in figuring out who i am. so in honor of the anniversary, i’d like to give a special thank you to the characters who have been the most important to me over the past five years.

ashe: i’ll start with the obvious. ashe is the character i stole my name from, so of course he will always hold a special place in my heart. in addition to that though, ashe’s earnest personality and commitment to doing the right thing is immensely inspiring to me. he proves that it’s possible to make mistakes and grow from them, that your life isn’t over after one misstep. ashe has taught me to never give up on doing the right thing, and being the best version of myself i can be.

felix: this list would not be complete without the scrunkly of all time! obviously i find felix to be a very compelling character and fun to write, but his significance to me goes beyond being a writing muse. i’ve often thought that i wish i’d had a friend like felix when i was younger, and even now—someone who would drag me into situations i found stressful and encourage me (in his own rude way) to have confidence in myself. someone who would have stood up for me against the people who treated me like i was lesser. felix inspires me to fight for what i want, his shield symbolizing the ability to make your own choices for what and who you defend. he reminds me that there’s no glory in being a martyr, and so i shouldn’t make my well being a second priority. i love you felix and i’m sorry i put you through the horrors regularly (but not sorry enough to stop).

marianne: it’s probably concerning to say i see a lot of myself in marianne. her journey is incredibly inspiring to me, especially now as i see that the past five years have taken me along a similar path to hers. marianne starts out thinking she’s too different from everyone else to deserve a life like theirs, and condemns herself to crushing loneliness all to avoid the possibility of her hurting the people she loves. and yet she learns to live for herself, realizes that her mere existence doesn’t cause any harm, and learns to embrace her right to enjoy life. i hope to have the same strength she does, so that one day i can reach that point as well.

linhardt: no joke, i realized i was neurodivergent because of linhardt. so many of his lines and support conversations made me go “ha, he’s so autistic/adhd coded!” i made these comments repeatedly, but i also kept noticing all the little ways in which i related to him. linhardt was one of many autistic people who made me go “huh, i do that too! what do you mean that’s not normal???” his character also serves as a reminder that it’s okay to take a break once and a while, and that looking after myself doesn’t mean i don’t care about others.

if there’s one thing left to say, it’s thank you. thank you to ashe, felix, marianne, linhardt, mercedes, sylvain, ignatz, hapi, yuri, hell—my oc rowan, all the characters i’ve connected with and loved so deeply over the past five years. thank you fire emblem three houses, not for being the only reason i am where i am today, but being a major part of it nonetheless. and if anyone’s still reading, thank you for making it this far, and happy timeskip! 🎉

[artdcnaldson]

your post about the college experience kind of hit me because i feel like i had no college experience. went for three years, lived at home and i wasn't allowed to attend social events or go out after dark or with friends my parents didn't know. as a result i feel pretty behind my peers now as an adult in all ways :/

I went to community for 2 years, lived at home, didn’t date, my friends all moved away and lost touch. Went to big university during covid, so no in person classes until my last semesters. I had like 1 friend who I would hang out with, never dated bc at that point I was so far behind just thinking about dating felt like impossible and I’d get so nauseous I would throw up.

I’m in the same boat. It feels like I’m still working to check boxes most people check by fifteen, like I’m a decade late, you know?

I also have very fuzzy memories of being in college. I don’t remember most things about my experience bc I was on such a high dose SSRI that I can’t remember how I met people or what my classes were or what I did day to day. I kind of just was a zombie.

Anyways we visited my brother today to go drop off more things and finish moving him in and he’s already got so many friends and he’s doing fun stuff and it’s hard not to feel jealous but like it’s not his fault that he’s doing things right it’s my fault for never leaving my comfort zone.

Sorry for the rant hehe I promise I’ll write something fun or smutty or smth to make up for my pity party

[she-karev]

Meeting Luna (Jolex Sweet Imagine)

Age Rating: 12+

Chapters: One of One

Fandom: Grey’s Anatomy

Ship: Alex Karev x Jo Wilson/Jo Karev

Canon Episode: Season 17 Episode 3

Summary: Alex and Jo help a patient deliver a baby that formed in her liver. Later Amber Karev gets news that devastates her and her loved ones.

Words: 3554

April 12th, 2020

Jo comes out of the hospital exhausted and rubbing her strained neck. It’s been four days since Meredith Grey was found passed out in the parking lot by Alex. He brought her inside the hospital where she was tested positive for covid. Since then, he has been checking in on her as her medical proxy, making sure she’s stable while Jo has been covering Meredith’s service. So far Jo hasn’t been outside in four days and the stress of the new job is getting to her.

“Hey.” Jo looks up to find her sister-in-law, Amber Karev, and best friend, Link, approach her in their casual clothes, “I’d ask how you’re doing but I think your appearance is answer enough.”

“Despite what you may read or hear in the news, sunlight does not in fact kill Covid 19.” Link says when he sees Jo has her mask off to take a breath.

“Ha. I've been covering Meredith's service. I haven't been outside in four days.” Amber hisses at that feeling bad for her, “What are you doing here?”

“Hand trauma.” Link explains.

“You left Amelia alone with four kids for a hand?”

Amber oohs at that, “You are so gonna be in the doghouse tonight.”

“She told me to come in.” Link explains.

“Oh. You're already annoying her.” Jo teases causing Amber to grin, “What's on your shirt?”

Link sees a sticky spot on his shirt, “Ooh, that's, uh, syrup? I made pancakes this morning.”

“Weird. You're a dad.” Jo jokes.

“Missed you!” Link sings before going inside leaving the sisters-in-law to catch up.

“How’s it going on your front?” Jo asks Amber, “I’m sure it’s not as painful as mine.”

“Normally I would disagree, but I know me complaining about my life right now is just gonna piss you off.” Amber says before changing the subject, “Any luck getting DCFS to do a home inspection?”

Jo frowns at that reminder. She and Alex bought a suitable two story 4-bedroom house back in February so they can raise a family there. They started the adoption paperwork, and the agency was gonna send a social worker to do a home inspection and interview them face to face.

But then March 13th happened, and social services has limited home visits in favor of public safety. The news broke Jo’s heart who was getting happier every time she and Alex were one step closer to having a baby of their own. So far, she has been trying to get past the pain with virtual therapy and work.

Jo sighs, “No they said other matters take precedence which as a woman who wants to adopt an abandoned baby pisses me off but as a doctor working in this terrible time I get it. I just wish I finally decided to have kids one month or hell even one day earlier. Maybe it might have made a difference.”

“I’m really sorry.” Amber says sad as well, “I know it doesn’t compare but my life hasn’t gone the way I envisioned it would five months ago either.”

Jo nods understanding, “Yeah if you had told me a year ago a pandemic would hit and instead of shopping for a car seat and looking toward the future, I would pray for toilet paper and hand sanitizer I would think you were crazy.”

“I would think I was crazy too.” Amber says bitterly, “I really am sorry I know how much you and Alex want a baby.”

“Thanks. We’re fine, we have each other, and we’ll just wait until social services finally does a visit and approves us. And to practice we have Schmitt living with us.”

Amber laughs, “I still can’t believe your letting him live with you. And I can’t believe Alex agreed to it, were you guys running low on rent or reasons for pity?”

“Okay he was sad and lonely, and he didn’t have a place to live I felt bad. It’s how Jackson felt with you after DeLuca broke up with you so…”

“…Touche my friend, touche. I gotta go, we’ll complain together later.”

“I’m holding you on that.” Amber walks past Jo and enters the pit when Levi Schmitt comes out and approaches Jo from behind.

“Abdominal pain consult in the ER.” Jo groans at that before snapping her fingers at Levi.

“I have faith in you.

“Covid test is still pending.” Levi informs Jo who slumps in defeat.

“I feel like I could just lay down and die.”

“Ah.” Levi imitates spitting to Jo’s confusion, “You really shouldn't say that during a pandemic.”

Levi goes back inside with Jo sulking for a minute before she puts her mask on and goes to her patient inside. Jo puts her protective shield on before going inside the trauma room where a blonde woman wearing a mask, face shield and gloves is sitting on the table clutching her stomach in pain.

“Val Ashton?” Jo starts, “Hi. I'm Dr. Karev. Okay, so you've had abdominal pain and vomiting for the last two weeks?”

“But it's not Covid.” Val insists, “I have gone nowhere, seen no one, touched nothing. I couldn't stop talking to the nurse that took my blood. It was the first in-person conversation I had had in months. I told her about the fight with my co-worker, all about my ex. And I think I invited her to lunch.”

Jo chuckles, “Don't worry. They're used to it.” Jo goes over Val’s chart in her tablet, “Okay, so your labs came back already, and…congratulations. You don't have Covid. You're just pregnant.”

Val looks at Jo in shock and utters a single word, “What?”

“Pregnant.” Jo repeats.

“What?”

“Yaay?” Jo says in the form of a question leaving Val to look at her in utter shock at this news.

An Hour Later

After the ultrasound from Carina confirmed there was no fetus in the uterus Jo ordered an abdominal scan for Val to find the underlying issue for her stomach pains. She asked Amber to assist her because she knows with Webber restricting residents from treating covid patients her resident sister-in-law is bored from doing scut and mandating patient entry.

“Thanks for letting me in on this I really needed it especially since Webber decided to punish Koracick by making him residency program director which also punishes us.”

“Yeah of course I figured it was either let you work close with me or risk getting Koracick punched in the face and you losing your job.”

“You make it sound like those are bad things.”

Bailey comes inside the monitor room, “Karev, I need you to keep covering Grey's service. I'm hoping to persuade Dr. Webber to come back to the OR, whenever he finishes adjusting his crown. Chief of chiefs. I could be chief of chiefs.”

“You'd be really good at that.” Amber says.

“What do you got?” Bailey asks

“Abdominal pain, vomiting, positive beta HCG. She's not pregnant, but I want to rule out a mass.” The scans pull up.

“Okay I see a mass it’s in the liver.”

Bailey looks at the scans astonishes, “That is no mass. That is a fetus.”

“She is pregnant, but her baby is attached to her liver?” Jo gasps at this in wonder while Amber chuckles in delight until Bailey steps in.

“Mine.”

“Hell no.” Amber retorts facing her boss, “This patient doesn’t have covid and I need something to lift up my spirits.” Bailey stares down at the resident who stares back with equal intimidation, “I’ve faced scarier things chief the only way you’re getting me out is tossing me across the floor.”

“Do you want to see that happen?” Bailey asks threateningly which doesn’t faze Amber as they continue to stare down with Jo looking on in worry.

“Okay as primary I will call the shots. Amber, I love you, but Bailey is my boss so get out.” Amber scoffs and turns to Jo who speaks before she can, “Go.”

“Fine.” Amber growls and stands up stomping out of the room with Bailey taking her place in joy as they look at the scans of the baby inside Val’s liver.

Later

Jo sees Alex in the middle of the empty peds floor and approaches him with a tablet in her hand.

“Hey are you busy?”

“Well, my best friend is being monitored by her sister and my sister’s ex-boyfriend so that leaves me time to sort out my empty floor where every surgery has been rescheduled for the next three months. I’m free for whatever you have as long as it’s not mundane.”

Jo chuckles, “Oh then you are gonna love this.” She hands him the tablet and shows Alex Val’s scans, “Val Ashton 35, came in with abdominal pain and vomiting, labs showed that she was pregnant but there was nothing in the ultrasound so we ran scans to see what the issue was.”

Alex looks at the scans, “Tumor in her liver that released HCG? I’m lost on why you came to me with this.”

“Because that mass in her liver is a fetus.” Jo explains and grins at Alex looking at her with wide eyes, “Yep you heard me my patient has an abdominal pregnancy.”

“I can see why you came to me.” Alex says with a grin relieved to have a case, “Is the fetus viable?”

“Carina DeLuca is about to do an ultrasound and we’ll get answers. If the baby is viable, we need to get them out so the growing placenta doesn’t rupture Val’s liver. We want you there so you can explain the risks the baby will face if she decides to keep it.”

“Okay yeah I can do that lead the way.” Jo leads Alex away from the peds floor to Val’s room.

Later

“There's a baby in my liver?” Val asks Jo with Alex next to her while Carina does an ultrasound on Val’s side where her liver is hearing a heartbeat.

“You have what's called an abdominal pregnancy, where the fetus develops outside of the uterus. You're about 26 weeks.”

“And so far, the heartbeat is strong which indicates viability.”

“That’s right and it’s very good in cases like this.” Carina says as she wipes away the gel, “Val, these pregnancies don't normally survive to term, but your baby is very much alive. Your case is extremely rare.”

“He made me feel like crap for eight years.” Val explains, “Every time IVF didn't work…he would look at the doctor and say, ‘Well, what can she do differently next time?’ When clearly it was his fault. Because I had a one-night stand with a guy that wears square computer glasses, and I'm knocked up.”

Alex nods understanding her pain from having his dream of having a baby with Jo stalled by covid.

“Val.” Carina sits by Val’s side and asks her cautiously, “Do you want this baby?”

Val inhales with tears in her eyes before nodding.

“Okay. Then we need to deliver her today.” Jo explains, “The growth of the placenta could cause the liver to bleed at any moment, and we need to operate to save you both, now.”

“It's a girl?” Val asks with a smile behind her mask.

Alex grins and nods, “Yes, it is.”

“Luna.” Val says rubbing her own belly, “That's her name. Ever since I was a little girl, I knew my daughter's name. I want to call her Little Moon, like the book, my mom would read it to me all the time.”

“Val.” Carina says and Val looks up nodding.

“Yeah, okay. Let's get her out!” Val gives consent in joy and the doctors look at each other knowing it’s not gonna be an easy surgery.

Two Hours Later

Jo and Bailey expose the liver revealing the baby inside as the scans show waiting for Alex and Carina to gown up so they can take the baby.

“Is she viable?” Alex asks as he spins while the nurse gowns him.

“Come see for yourself. Liver's exposed.” Bailey says causing Alex and Carina to observe the liver where they see the amniotic sac attached to the liver to their wonder.

“Wow.” Carina says in shock.

“Hello there, Little Moon.” Alex greets the baby before Bailey and Jo go over the steps of the procedure. Alex and Carina start the c-section and take out the small baby immediately, putting her inside the incubator while Bailey and Jo try to save the liver.

“Alex, I'm not seeing any movement.”

“Damn it.” Alex curses, “We need to intubate.” Alex and Carina try to intubate Luna while Jo and Bailey try to stop the heavy bleeding.

“How's Luna?” Jo asks.

Carina responds while helping Alex, “Apgar 2, maybe 3.” “We’re still trying to get the tube in.” Alex tries to intubate Luna, “Come on Luna you got this come on.” He successfully intubates her, “I’m in, bag her and get her up to the unit now let’s go!” Alex and Carina hurriedly take the incubator out of the OR while Jo and Bailey work hard to save Val’s life.

That Night

Jo is in the NICU looking down at her and Alex’s patient, Luna, who is hooked up to leads and wires in an incubator. The sight of the tiny premie breaks Jo’s heart but knowing the baby’s story gives her hope in a hopeless time.

“Hi, Luna.” Jo coos at the baby as she holds her tiny hand, “Hi. Your mommy is asleep right now, but she is gonna be so excited to meet you.”

Bailey approaches them with a grin, “See? Joy.”

Jo chuckles lightly, “She developed in a liver and was born in a pandemic. She is a survivor.”

“Your work these last few days hasn't gone unnoticed.” Bailey compliments, “Thank you.”

Jo nods and grows solemn at the reminder knowing why she’s so busy, “Meredith has to be okay, Bailey. She has to be okay.” The woman stand there looking at the baby hoping their good friend will make it through this virus.

Later

“We’re gonna need to keep you for observation for the next month.” Alex informs Val who is bleary from her surgery, “Dr. Karev and Dr. Bailey did their best to resect your liver without doing too much damage but we need to be safe and keep a close eye on you. Now we’ll do daily scans on your abdomen to make sure your liver isn’t failing. Worst case scenario we put you on the transplant list and wait for a match to fall through. And until then we would put you on dialysis to buy you some more time.”

“And what about Luna?” Val asks worried, “Is she gonna be okay?”

“She needs to be constantly monitored in the NICU while her lungs continue to form. Now she’s 26 weeks so we would have her incubated for the next 19 weeks till she reaches full term.”

“Can I hold her? Or visit her?”

Alex sighs, “I want to say yes but her immune system is still compromised and you’re still fresh out of surgery moving one of you could raise complications. We would need to wait until you’re discharged so you can visit her. Now I can set up a camera so you can watch her and talk to her while you’re both recovering. I’m sorry but it’s the best I can do right now.”

Val sighs in sadness, “…This is not how I imagined having a baby after all this time but I wouldn’t change it if it meant finally having Luna.”

Alex nods understanding, “If it makes you feel better my plans for having a baby have been recently stalled too.”

“Fertility issues?”

“Not exactly.” Alex sits in a chair next to Val, “My wife, Dr. Karev, told me she was finally ready to start a family and I was excited to be a dad. We were gonna adopt instead of getting pregnant because we were both kids in the system and we know it can be a brutal upbringing. We bought a house, we bought furniture to make it look picture perfect for social services, we were finally ready to start a family…but then March happened, and all our efforts went out the window. We’re now waiting as patiently as we can to get a social worker to visit and approve us and every minute that passes feels-”

“Like an eternity?” Val finishes understanding, “It’s how I felt before, during and after IVF. It felt like I was never gonna have a baby, like it was my fault somehow and to find out it wasn’t my fault at all makes me angry…but you telling me my baby is finally out. It makes all that anger disappear and I feel joy. God, I feel so much joy.”

Alex grins at that, “I could use some of that joy right now, can you share?”

“No.” Val’s blunt answer makes Alex chuckle. She frowns as a horrible scenario comes into her head that makes her look at Alex square in the face, “I need you to promise me something. Promise me that if I die, you’ll make sure Luna walks out of this hospital if I can’t.”

“Val…I can’t make promises.” Alex sadly tells her.

“I know but I need you to promise you will do everything you can to make sure Luna is okay. You will try any procedure, you will get her into a trial, you will do anything to make sure one of us makes it out of this alive. I need you to promise that you will take care of my Little Moon if I can’t, from one desperate parent to another please promise me.”

Alex looks at Val in awe before holding her hand and looking into her eyes with conviction, “I promise.” Val sniffles and looks at Alex gratefully as he holds her hand with the both of them feeling hopeful.

Epilogue

Amber is alone in the resident’s lounge putting her casual clothes on feeling drained once again after another long day in charge of the check in station outside. What was supposed to be her first surgery in weeks turned into little arguments with people who refuse to fully wear their masks and keep a six feet distance.

It got to the point where one of them spit on her and she spent ten minutes furiously scrubbing her face with rubbing alcohol afraid of the germs and angry at the ass who demeaned her. Now all Amber wants to do is go to Jackson’s penthouse, drink his expensive alcohol and watch bad reality tv. A knock on the door calls her and she turns to find her roommate Jackson Avery standing outside the door in his casual wear and black mask looking at her in worry.

“I heard what happened. Did the guy really spit in your face when you told him to stop acting like an idiot and put his mask on and keep a safe distance?”

Amber groans putting her black mask on, “Yep, I did the silkwood shower on my face right after I think I peeled off a layer of my own skin. I don’t want to talk about it I just want to go home, watch The Bachelorette and wonder where my life is going after today.”

“I’ll join you; I got a feeling Hannah is gonna eliminate Peter.”

Amber scoffs at that, “Please you wish, Peter is going all the way, Mike is next mark my words.”

Jackson’s eyes widen offended, “Oh we’ll see about that Mike is her dream man, loser does the laundry?”

Amber chuckles at her friend, “You’re on, make sure to fold my delicates I like them neat and organized.”

“Same. Let’s go.” Amber slings her backpack on and is about to walk towards him when Owen Hunt comes in with a numb face wearing his scrubs and mask.

“Good I caught you both before you left.”

“What’s wrong?” Jackson asks concerned.

Owen looks solemn but faces Amber with regret getting straight to the point, “Amber your test came back just now, your positive for covid 19, I’m sorry.”

Jackson and Amber are stunned by this with him standing by the doorway looking at Amber worried she’ll faint like Meredith. Amber is standing by her cubby with her backpack on looking frozen with shock before she chuckles uneasily.

“Is this a joke? I’m not symptomatic, I feel fine. Did Koracick or Alex put you up to this because it is the worst punking in the history of ever.”

“No this isn’t a joke.” Owen says with a serious tone, “The test is right here you can look at it if you want.”

Owen puts the tablet on the table six feet away from Amber who takes it and looks at her results with a small gasp. She looks up at Jackson who looks down in worry but pulls out his phone.

“I’ll book you a hotel room to quarantine and tell your family.” He puts the phone to his ear, “And April we should get tests too.”  

Amber swallows the lump in her throat before sitting on the bench while Jackson makes calls. At this moment she feels a fear in her chest she’s never experienced before as a doctor and as of now a patient.

[fenrislorsrai]

Tameka’s kids have essentially been out of school since COVID hit in March 2020. She and her kids have had a consistent place to live, but nearly everything else in their lives collapsed during the pandemic. (Tameka is her middle name. The Associated Press is withholding her full name because Tameka, 33, runs the risk of jail time or losing custody of her children since they are not in school.)

Tameka’s longtime partner, who was father to her children, died of a heart attack in May 2020 as COVID gripped the country.

His death left her overwhelmed and penniless. Tameka never graduated from high school and has worked occasionally as a security guard or a housecleaner for hotels. She has never gotten a driver’s license. But her partner worked construction and had a car. “When he was around, we never went without,” she says.

Suddenly, she had four young children to care for by herself, with only government cash assistance to live on.

Schools had closed to prevent the spread of the virus, and the kids were home with her all the time. Remote learning didn’t hold their attention. Their home internet didn’t support the three children being online simultaneously, and there wasn’t enough space in their two-bedroom apartment for the kids to have a quiet place to learn.

Because she had to watch them, she couldn’t work. The job losses put her family even further below the median income for a Black family in Atlanta — $28,105. (The median annual income for a white family in the city limits is $83,722.)

When Tameka’s children didn’t return to school, she also worried about the wrong kind of attention from the state’s child welfare department. According to Tameka, staff visited her in spring 2021 after receiving calls from the school complaining her children were not attending online classes.

The social workers interviewed the children, inspected their home and looked for signs of neglect and abuse. They said they’d be back to set her up with resources to help her with parenting. For more than two years, she says, “they never came back.”

When the kids missed 10 straight days of school that fall, the district removed them from its rolls, citing a state regulation. Tameka now had to re-enroll them.

Suddenly, another tragedy of her partner’s death became painfully obvious. He was carrying all the family’s important documents in his backpack when he suffered his heart attack. The hospital that received him said it passed along the backpack and other possessions to another family member, Tameka says. But it was never found.

The backpack contained the children’s birth certificates and her own, plus Medicaid cards and Social Security cards. Slowly, she has tried to replace the missing documents. First, she got new birth certificates for the children, which required traveling downtown.

After asking for new Medicaid cards for over a year, she finally received them for two of her children. She says she needs them to take her children to the doctor for the health verifications and immunizations required to enroll. It’s possible her family’s cards have been held up by a backlog in Georgia’s Medicaid office since the state agency incorrectly disenrolled thousands of residents.

When she called for a doctor’s appointment in October, the office said the soonest they could see her children was December.

“That’s too late,” she said. “Half the school year will be over by then.”

She also needs to show the school her own identification, Social Security cards, and a new lease, plus the notarized residency affidavit.

She shakes her head. “It’s a lot.”

Some of the enrollment requirements have exceptions buried deep in school board documents. But Tameka says no one from the district has offered her guidance.

Contact logs provided by the district show social workers from three schools have sent four emails and called the family 19 times since the pandemic closed classrooms in 2020. Most of those calls went to voicemail or didn’t go through because the phone was disconnected.

[stylespresleyhearted]

I didn't follow the elvis promo closely: what happened between Austin Butler and Olivia Dejonge?

hiiii ohh well i’d say it’s more about what happened before promo ??? i.e more specifically during filming and covid lockdown. it might be a bit lengthy so bear w me sweet anon

*if you don’t like olivia don’t read won’t tolerate hate against my girl 🌚*

so sometime in dec 2019 deuxmoi got a tip about olivia and austin checking into a hotel together and keep in mind this is before any vanessa + austin break up that i know of although DM didn’t make this public until either 2020 or 2021. there’s also two infamous photos :

that’s bebe orleans (a best friend of olivia’s during the time of filming i don’t think they’re friends anymore tho opp-) and a shirtless austin butler hugging her (apparently during this time olivia would post A LOT of stuff and austin or something of his would be in the background and as soon as fans pointed it out she would delete it poor girl is still so spooked by social media to this day)

Then there’s the infamous shirt-gate. Olivia wearing Austin’s Hawaiian shirt and this was posted to Olivia’s IG jan 2 2020 about two weeks before vaustin break up hit any headlines. vanessa fans clocked this and tore olivia apart. i’m not saying it was alright for olivia to post but she was young, she was about 20/21??? and we don’t know where austin and vanessa stood during this time. idk just ~ drama really. filming continued, life went on, austin was in london filming mota and then DM was sent in this tip right after the austin x lily rose photos dropped

Olivia followed DM when this was posted and only unfollowed them *after* this had been sent in. Now as much as I love Olivia and Olivia x Austin I actually don’t think they ever officially dated either like where Austin was claiming her as his girlfriend or girl or anything. I think they were just something ya know? Fucking, hanging out, feelings unrequited maybe but no titles. So yeah I don’t think Austin “cheated” on Olivia with Lily Rose but maybe they were still hanging out or Olivia was still waiting on him when the photos dropped so she was just hurt/heartbroken? Personally I think someone Olivia knows (or maybe Olivia herself) sent this in and knew using words like cheated would just make Austin look worse so they went that route with those words.

If you watch Elvis promo interviews/videos Olivia and Austin seem to get along just fine and this is where Kaia (austin’s long term gf) comes in. the photo of olivia holding austin’s face in cannes with kaia sitting behind them will always make me laugh because its so relatable i too would be messy having to see the guy who broke my heart be in love with his new gf while we promote the movie we’re in. olivia and kaia follow each other so i think they’re friendly as well. i think its kinda obvious that olivia did have feelings for austin/was hurt by him and then had to do promo with him where he sometimes brought along his new gf. this is when i really started to feel for her and began looking into her.

But then of course press tour ended and so did anything between austin and olivia??? they have different friend groups, live in different cities but then comes austin’s aacta speech

now austin robert butler why in the damn hell were you waxing so poetically about your co star who by this point wants seemingly nothing to do with you? i love this speech and can rewatch it and cry especially when you realize olivia didn’t mention austin by name not even once in her acceptance speech. i don’t think she did that to be petty i think she didn’t want the drama of it which i can understand. so i think she was just distancing herself from the elvis experience already by this point and trying to move on. there’s one (1) photo of them at the Oscars greeting each other but idk as much as it hurts me i think olivia really just wanted to move on from this part of her life. she’s good friends with sophie turner (who i also love and think is so awesome) and one night last year went to dinner with sophie and taylor swift and unfollowed austin. she tried to play it off by unfollowing 100 people the next day lol but girlie u didn’t fool anyone!

fun fact and unrelated but in 2022 kaia was having a girls night with charlotte lawrence (her best friend) and this same night charlotte followed olivia on ig (olivia who was in australia) so i always wondered if kaia was maybe talking about olivia lmao

now i think i’ve covered the most important parts but honestly it’s a lot of lore and most of it unconfirmed you just have to use your basic common sense and critical thinking skills it is not hard to see there was obviously something between them and olivia was hurt. i think if timing and the elvis possession and austin’s identity crisis during all this played a big part in them not publicly dating but i think in a different time/life they could have been “the one” and i associate maroon and the 1 by taylor swift to them. i love olivia, she’s gorgeous, talented, chill, minds her business, kind, idk what everyone has against her.

also gonna tag @bcofl0ve on this because she knows a lot more than me on this subject and was auslivia president she can correct me on anything if im wrong.

[sheinthatfandom]

Well some good news we were able to get our covid shots and with the good rx discounts and the pharmacist doing a solid on that using the cheapest option she could it still cost a lot but not $600 so that’s good but we were also able to get free flu shots cause she had vouchers for us (I hope her pillow is always cool that her plate bank account and gas tank is always full)

Beanie is donen for a nap now and we both got the double bandaids lol

Debating if I should put the photo under the cut or not but

other personal stuff under the cut

I started selling off some of my hellaverse pin collection the ones I’m most ready to part with. I was hoping to not have to just yet but the pins I made aren’t moving and I just can’t put more money into making my own pins if they’re not selling. It sucks to get rid of something I was so obsessed with but our health was more important. Beanie is just glad the person I sold the pins to didn’t want the lenticular one she loves. Hubby’s court case is coming up we thought it was the one with the social security disability but it’s the one against his job for basically going to the doc and having him say he can go back to work before he ever even had his appointment which is illegal but the lawyer said to not expect much from this first hearing it’s an establishing one. His ss diability case isn’t even until next year and that’s got me worried.

Also idk what happened but on insta a lot of my friends are now sending me I love you and I’m glad you’re here messages and it’s nice but also I’m like not all of ya’ll are on tumblr so like how’d you know I was feeling some type of way or is it just a nice message and you thought let me send it to Loren.

I’m almost done with the zelda game im really enjoying it and it was so nice to have something fun and positive to focus on. Unfortunately now my thoughts are gonna go back to the uncertainty of this next term and to a lesser extent the anxiety over the in-law Xmas party. For the most part I expect everyone to behave but there’s 2 one that’s for sure coming and one that might not come who might say some shit and start some shit and I might hit them with a crock pot………. We’ll see how this goes.

Beanies just so excited about seeing her cousins and I don’t wanna take this away from her. The kids are fine honestly they’re good kids it’s some of the parents.

So yeah I’m trying to focus on positives my brain is already like words are hard again so no clue when the two fics I was actively working on will be finished especially while I’m also trying to download my fics and fics from other authors I’ve enjoyed cause again who knows

[arrtieart]

I wanted to give a little history to this piece.

Back in 2019 I was a senior in high school. I was looking for a group to play D&D with. I didn’t find one until I was in my second semester of college. A classmate complimented my necklace and then he asked if I wanted to try D&D with his group. Little did I know that these folks would become lifetime friends and my first ever D&D character would become legendary.

“The gay adventures of Marsibil.” Was what we referenced the game as once we ended it.

Marsibil is a High Sun Elf. A Rogue Assassin multiclassed into Wizard Necromancer. Though we only made it to level 7, it still consisted of a year and a half-ish of time. In a current game that we are close to finishing is years in the future, Marsibil is lvl 20 in the alternate universe and is a npc.

(I would love to post stories in the future about that campaign.)

The most legendary thing about Marsibil is how any time she would use her bow or dual daggers she often hit a nat 20. It was so funny as a new player. Maybe the universe wanted to make sure I had a good time with these folks.

I digress. The computer this piece was drawn on died. Something broke and one day it never turned back on. It was in the middle of a semester of school right as covid hit. I *had* to buy a new laptop. With $700 I bought a new laptop and grieved over the loss files. I lost the original piece of this art. Until today!

Out of all social media SNAPCHAT sent me a “hey remember what you did back on this day?” text and it was the original file! Wasn’t even from the camera roll. I’m shocked and excited. In my pinned post is when I posted it to instagram in ‘21. I’ve been using that screenshot to show people. I’m so glad I can show the og file now. So here I am showing it to you!

Marsibil means a lot to me. Not just because she’s my first character but because she led me to some amazing people. Additionally a few years later I ended up dating the DM of the campaign (we’re still together) (it wasn’t the person who invited me to the game, that one stayed a friend).

This friend group still jokes about Marsibil. “That’s Marsibil coded.” “That character reminds me of Mars.” “Are you attempting a Marsibil?” “This song is Marsibils theme.” The comedy that has come from this character is thrilling and I want to share it with anyone to make them laugh and have a good time too. :)

Now it’s coming to almost 4 years later and we may be going back to that campaign with new friends and new characters. I hope I can make more art soon :) Otherwise I’ll have to give her an Alternative Universe.

[jockey-joe]

Jockey Joe’s Election Take

Howdy Buckaroos! It’s your old friend, Jockey Joe, coming at you once again!!!

Since I am not on any type of social media other than LinkedIn, I had to find the most technologically advanced platform to share my thoughts on the election—so I chose Tumblr. This post will take up about 3 or 4 minutes of your time.

Let’s get started…

I think 10 years of constantly being inundated with this orange-hued Pap smear has normalized Donald Trump and eroded society’s ability to think logically about him. Everyone knows he lacks the intellect and temperament to be the overnight manager at a Denny’s, let alone serve as President of the United States. However, his one skill is that he plays in his quarter pounder-smelling fecal matter all day, so none of the outrageous things he says or does look abnormal.

I’ll use this example to outline my point. 

Like this election, the 2000 contest was very close. If, during the final leg of the campaign, George W. Bush did the following: held a rally at The Palace of Auburn Hills featuring Gallagher, Steve from The Jerry Springer Show, and Captain Lou Albano—filled with racist, xenophobic, and sexist rhetoric; suggested putting Geraldine Ferraro to death via crucifixion; fantasized about the media being infected with Typhoid Fever; dressed up like one of the Village People; and simulated anilingus (also spelled analingus according to Wikipedia*) during a speech—he would have lost. 

That was essentially how the final ten days of Donald Trump’s campaign unfolded. However, most people didn’t find his actions abhorrent and Trump didn’t lose. A majority of voters chose to elect a horror of a human being because they were deprived of the chance to own a third home, saw their cleaning lady rates go up, and could only afford two pairs of Pace Breaker joggers at Lululemon under Biden.

Instead of looking up the issue and discovering that post-pandemic inflation was not just confined to America, they decided to “like” images on Facebook of inbred hillbillies with TRUMP shaved into their back hair, watch PornHub videos of Japanese businessmen jerking off onto a squid or read articles by Larry the Cable Guy outlining his favorite Covid remedies. 

And let’s not forget, he’s a twice-impeached, rapist and convicted felon who attempted a coup. On top of that, his organization was found guilty of criminal tax fraud and hit with a $355 million penalty. Oh, and did I mention he got caught in an elaborate scheme straight out of Downton Abbey, using his personal valet to hoard top-secret documents at his syphilis-infested compound in Mar-a-Lago?

However, his sycophants remain unfazed by his criminality or incompetence. They dismiss it all as "fake news" attacking their Cheeto-faced savior. They nostalgically reminisce about the "good old days" of his first term, conveniently overlooking that those days included him suggesting people inject themselves with bleach to cure Covid, advocating for the military to shoot protesters, and inciting a violent insurrection that led to a police officer being beaten to death, 174 cops injured, and three more committing suicide within months following the so-called "Day of Love." Thats a hell of way to Back The Blue. 

They couldn’t care less about his constant grifting—convincing them to fork over $500 for worthless digital baseball cards of him riding Godzilla in a cowboy hat, or a gold-plated double-headed MAGA dildo. To them, it's all part of the spectacle. 

They like that he’s entertaining, that he 'owns the libs,' and that he struts around, wiggling his little white-haired, mushroom-shaped pecker while boasting about how big it is. That’s their standard for who they’ll vote for—and who their kids and grandkids will look up to as President.

This is who they want as a role model for their children: https://youtu.be/uNXgjnBpxGI

The Democratic Party is also culpable. For the past few years, they've lived in a bubble, convincing themselves that Joe Biden was fit to be president and could serve another four years. Meanwhile, the rest of America saw that he was more suited for making hand turkeys in a nursing home than running the country. Had they pushed him out sooner, they could have had a legitimate primary, giving a more popular centrist candidate like Josh Shapiro the chance to secure the nomination. Though the mere idea would appall the left-wing members of the party—who believe Shapiro is personally to blame for the deaths of Palestinian babies in Gaza, and who consider issues like the correct pronouns for non-binary dogs to be among the nation's most urgent priorities.

It’s sad and pathetic, but this is the reality we now live in—an American public that willingly brainwashes itself through the endless barrage of their preferred social media and cable news sources, all of which is driving us toward the eventual destruction of our democracy.

I'm done with my rant now. As many of you know, I have a deep appreciation for Turkish proverbs. I'll leave you with one I came across the other day on LinkedIn.

“When a Clown moves into a Palace, he doesn't become a King. The Palace instead becomes a Circus.” 

Enjoy the kakistocracy, folks!!! (I had to look up that word too) 

God bless you, and God bless The United States of America. 

If you enjoyed this article, please hit the like button and subscribe to Jockey Joe’s LinkedIn page. 

-Jockey Joe

Cowritten by ChatGPT

fn.*: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anilingus 

[louisupdates]

BEHIND THE CAMPAIGN: LOUIS TOMLINSON

MUSICALLY | 19 APRIL 2023

Former One Direction star Louis Tomlinson released his debut album in 2020 through Sony but moved to BMG for his second album, Faith In The Future, in November 2022. Lisa Wilkinson, director of UK marketing (new recordings) at BMG, explains how they looked to reposition him in the market, what learnings were coming from his live success as well as his own festival, why his merchandise strategy directly informed his multi-formatted record release strategy, how they were able to build him without mass radio support, where a wider male audience was targeted this time round, why Twitter remains his most powerful social media platform and how a highly vocal and engaged fanbase was nurtured further and directly involved in the campaign.

Lisa Wilkinson, director of UK marketing (new recordings) at BMG, explains how they looked to reposition him in the market, what learnings were coming from his live success as well as his own festival, and more.

[The article will be broken into sections, linked below.]

1. Coming to BMG for his second solo album

2. The centrality of merchandise

3. The radio conundrum

4. Targeting a male audience

5. Building his songwriting profile

6. Targeting the press

7. Boosting the digital strategy

8. QR code and interactive community map at his Away From Home festival

9. Twitter as his main platform and setting him up on TikTok

10. Chart battle with Bruce Springsteen and the power of in-stores

11. Stationhead and Tim’s Twitter Listening Party

12. Fan-made Spotify Canvases

13. Documentary and the next steps

☆彡

1. COMING TO BMG FOR HIS SECOND SOLO ALBUM

This is his first album with BMG. His debut album, Walls in 2020, was with Syco Music [via Sony]. That was off the back of X Factor with Simon Cowell.

He had done a couple of more commercial singles – one with Steve Aoki [‘Just Hold On’] and one with Bebe Rexha and Digital Farm Animals [‘Back To You’]. They were really successful streaming singles, but that’s not who Louis is. For the boys in One Direction, the ones that have been successful and the songs that have been successful are the ones that have stayed super pop and commercial. Louis did that but it’s just not who he is.

I think he felt, in that structure, that he just wasn’t getting the support to be who he wanted to be. That’s exactly why people come to us. It’s an artist services deal and we’re there to support you and advise you.

You can see from his live business and his merchandise business – and every other thing that Louis does – that there is an incredible fanbase there for him.

When they [Syco] released Walls, they achieved 14,000 units in week one and got to number 4 in Q1 in January 2020. We thought that just didn’t feel reflective of what was happening [around him].

We went and saw him at various venues on his world tour. We went to New York and saw those two shows and we went to Italy and watched his Milan stadium show in front of 30,000 people.

You’re looking and you’re thinking, “Those numbers don’t make any sense. How on Earth did you fumble that?” We were confident that we could do better than that.

He had a signing dinner in October 2021 and then his world tour started in February 2000, which was the delayed tour [due to the pandemic]. It went all the way through to September, pretty much nonstop.

They sold half a million tickets that year. All the while he’s on tour, he’s still making the album.

‘Out Of My System’ was released as a DSP-focused track before the album. It’s the rockiest and heaviest track on the album. He came straight off stage, went into a vocal booth off the side of the stage [to record it]. Because of the energy, he was so fired up. It was a difficult process because it was creating an album on the road.

He wanted to make an album for live. It was a totally different experience for him. Covid hit just a few months after Walls dropped so the tour was out of the question.

Before we started working on the album campaign, he did a show at Crystal Palace Bowl, which was the first incarnation of his Away From Home festival that he’s created and curated, which is for up-and-coming indie bands.

He gave away 8,000 tickets in August 2021 when we could start doing outdoor things again. I was there and was thinking, “There’s something big going on here.” The fans were so committed and dedicated.

Considering this is someone who hasn’t had real radio support or is seen in celebrity magazines or on social posts, this is a huge phenomenon.

That continued into the tour.

[volchekshotme]

ArtBlitz 4: A DIY Creative Showdown with a Mission in Orlando

If you were anywhere near Arena Art Bar last weekend, you likely felt the buzz radiating from inside as the 4th Annual ArtBlitz turned up the heat. Eight artists faced off in a head-to-head creative battle, where paint flew, the music bumped, and the crowd held their breath to see who would emerge victorious. But ArtBlitz is more than just a competition—it's a project born from a love for creativity and community.

The article is made possible by:

John Q, one of the masterminds behind ArtBlitz, has been pushing this event since 2018. “We did two rounds before COVID hit,” he said. “Afterward, it was tough to find venues that made sense financially, but we knew we wanted to bring it back. The first post-COVID event was a hit, and now here we are with ArtBlitz 4.”

But John didn’t do it alone. His long-time collaborator, Kyle, joined forces with him to bring the vision to life. “Me and Q met about five or six years ago at the Social,” Kyle explained. “The owners wanted to give the staff a chance to run passion projects, so we thought, why not put on a live art battle with local artists and some chill music? It turned out to be way bigger than we expected.”

The structure of ArtBlitz is straightforward but high-pressure: artists have 30 minutes to create a piece in the first two rounds, with votes split 50/50 between the audience and hidden judges. The top two artists from each round move on to the finals, where cash prizes are awarded.

“It's not just about winning,” said Kyle. “We wanted to give these artists a platform. The first time we did it, some of them sold their work, and that was the goal—getting them exposure and helping them make connections. Even if we didn't make much money from the event, that alone made it worth it.”

John Q echoed this sentiment, saying, “What I love about ArtBlitz is watching people do things I can’t do. It’s just exciting to see these artists come in and create under that pressure. It’s a vibe, and we’ve been fortunate to have such a great turnout.”

Part of what makes ArtBlitz special is the culture around it. “John is the glue,” Kyle added. “He’s built a community with his radio show, events, and just being a connector for people who love local art and music. That’s why this event has grown.”

With a DIY spirit and punk-rock attitude, both Kyle and John have managed to turn ArtBlitz into something more than just an art event. “We’ve always been about taking our own path, saying ‘screw the traditional way,’ and doing things our own way,” Kyle said. “That’s the heart of this event—giving local artists a space where they can break through and show off what they do.”

As for the future? Expect to see more of ArtBlitz. With quarterly events planned, the art battles will continue to bring out Orlando’s finest talents. “Follow us on Instagram at @artblitzorl to catch the next one,” John Q said. “We want this to keep growing, and we’re always looking for fresh artists.”

If you missed out on the action this time, don’t worry. The next round of ArtBlitz is just around the corner. Whether you’re an artist or a fan, this is one Orlando event you won’t want to miss.