#the whole mostly white thing is something i used to do a lot on my instagram
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moths-in-hats · 1 year ago
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moodboard: kira x lydia
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bassiter2 · 10 months ago
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i'm realizing through this book i'm reading (same-sex affairs: constructing and controlling homosexuality in the pacific northwest) that like... yknow the conflation between homosexuality and pedophilia. well i've realized why that is, and that it's more than just all "sexual perversions" getting lumped together by homophobes. but also insanely enough more mundane
it's literally that for many decades, the only concept most people were able to have of gay men were through the lens of it being a crime. aka arrest records and the newspapers telling you who got put in jail last night. obviously gay men who were only having consensual sex with other gay adult men did get caught sometimes, but you could only catch them if they were doing it in public, if you were sneaking around in their private home, or if someone involved ratted them out. and if you ratted someone out, whatever motivation you might have, you were also ratting yourself out, so why would you do that? but if you were underage, especially if it was non-consensual, you wouldn't be in trouble at all. so of course the majority of the "immoral acts" charges are going to be between an adult and a minor.
not only that but apparently "youth" in referring to a young person used to literally mean anyone under the age of 21. and the vast majority of charges that read "engaged in immoral acts with a youth" it's referring to like a 17 y/o or even 18 or 19. so then ppl in later decades read that and misinterpreted it too.
and that's literally it lol..... it feels obvious in hindsight but i never would have thought about it. crazy what bias confirmation does.
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coffin-flop · 1 year ago
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i know my cat knows i love him but does he know how much?
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stellardeer · 2 months ago
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Yall ever think about how much is passed down between children that adults may be completely oblivious to.
Which goes for positive and negative things.
Like games that an older child taught to a younger one, who then taught it to another child below them the next year. There's plenty of stuff I remember doing that no adult ever taught me.
But that also goes for the bad parts of being young like bullying.
It's why it would be so hard to stop the cycle of bullying altogether. A 5th grader treats the 4th graders like they're all babies and they need to stop doing certain things and act a certain way, and the 4th graders don't like it but they internalize it so they end up doing the same thing to class below them a year later. Or high school seniors treating freshman like absolute dogshit just for being freshman, and they hate it so much but by the time they become seniors they think they've earned the right to do the same thing to the younger kids. So it repeats indefinitely.
And it's not even necessarily something that adults can intervene in if they don't know it's happening. They can give all the bullying PSAs they want and maybe they'll catch one individual act and punish it, but you would have to convince multiple generations of students to drop this behavior in order for it to truly disappear.
#we had something kind of like this at the high school i graduated from#it was a 3 year school but you had to apply to get in and you could only enter as a sophomore or a junior#most people entered as sophomores and there were not a whole lot of incoming juniors cause they already had students from the previous year#but i entered as a junior simply because i didnt know that it was an option when i was going into my sophomore year#well the 'returning' students all treating the 'incoming' students like they were just dirt beneath their feet and didnt belong there#and i had a few people be nice to me at first but ultimately i ended up being friends only with sophomores or other incoming juniors#which i was kind of fine with cause there werent a lot of people in my class that even looked like someone i would like anyway#but it was ridiculous when i entered my senior year and i watched all the same people who hated being treated like shit the previous#year start doing the exact same stuff to the new students. i tried my best to not fall into the mindset but i was also too meek to call it#out in the people around me at the time. but it ended up becoming a whole issue when we got close to graduation#see they had originally only allowed juniors to the school. and the school colors were blue and green. but like UGLY blue and green.#and the graduation gowns were blue with an ugly ass green stole. well when they started allowing sophomores they gave the 3rd yr garduates a#white stole to differentiate them. which was only a handful at first. until eventually it turned into mostly white stoles with a few green.#well the administration finally agreed that the green stoles were ugly as fuck the year the i graduated and decided to give everyone a white#stole but with little green chevrons denoted the number of years you attended so you either had 2 arrows or 3 arrows#for some reason! the entitled fucking 3rd year seniors decided this was an affront to their very existence and make a huge fucking deal#about it. we ended up having a whole class meeting over it. one girl even said that her mom was upset by it because 'she sent her daughter#away so young' (literally only 1 year before us but whatever..) and i ended up chiming in at one point because i couldnt take it anymore#and i explained how nobody in the room was my friend because the returning students were rude to me. they acted like they were better than#every one else. they treated us like we didnt belong there. and its not my fault that i didnt even know the school existed 1 year earlier.#and the whole room just got silent and the admins were like 'oh i see. we werent aware that this was going on'#like it was literally 'tradition' to treat new students like shit and the adults in charge just had no fucking idea#anyway i really hope things changed after that probably not but i can only hope.
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saja-star · 11 months ago
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I've had a hard time articulating to people just how fundamental spinning used to be in people's lives, and how eerie it is that it's vanished so entirely. It occurred to me today that it's a bit like if in the future all food was made by machine, and people forgot what farming and cooking were. Not just that they forgot how to do it; they had never heard of it.
When they use phrases like "spinning yarns" for telling stories or "heckling a performer" without understanding where they come from, I imagine a scene in the future where someone uses the phrase "stir the pot" to mean "cause a disagreement" and I say, did you know a pot used to be a container for heating food, and stirring was a way of combining different components of food together? "Wow, you're full of weird facts! How do you even know that?"
When I say I spin and people say "What, like you do exercise bikes? Is that a kind of dancing? What's drafting? What's a hackle?" it's like if I started talking about my cooking hobby and my friend asked "What's salt? Also, what's cooking?" Well, you see, there are a lot of stages to food preparation, starting with planting crops, and cooking is one of the later stages. Salt is a chemical used in cooking which mostly alters the flavor of the food but can also be used for other things, like drawing out moisture...
"Wow, that sounds so complicated. You must have done a lot of research. You're so good at cooking!" I'm really not. In the past, children started learning about cooking as early as age five ("Isn't that child labor?"), and many people cooked every day their whole lives ("Man, people worked so hard back then."). And that's just an average person, not to mention people called "chefs" who did it professionally. I go to the historic preservation center to use their stove once or twice a week, and I started learning a couple years ago. So what I know is less sophisticated than what some children could do back in the day.
"Can you make me a snickers bar?" No, that would be pretty hard. I just make sandwiches mostly. Sometimes I do scrambled eggs. "Oh, I would've thought a snickers bar would be way more basic than eggs. They seem so simple!"
Haven't you ever wondered where food comes from? I ask them. When you were a kid, did you ever pick apart the different colored bits in your food and wonder what it was made of? "No, I never really thought about it." Did you know rice balls are called that because they're made from part of a plant called rice? "Oh haha, that's so weird. I thought 'rice' was just an adjective for anything that was soft and white."
People always ask me why I took up spinning. Isn't it weird that there are things we take so much for granted that we don't even notice when they're gone? Isn't it strange that something which has been part of humanity all across the planet since the Neanderthals is being forgotten in our generation? Isn't it funny that when knowledge dies, it leaves behind a ghost, just like a person? Don't you want to commune with it?
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headspace-hotel · 8 months ago
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I looked up some stuff about the "domestication syndrome" in animals because I read a couple times in books the idea that domesticated animals are neotenous, meaning they retain juvenile traits into adulthood. The idea being that humans have essentially created more helpless, more exploitable versions of wild animals to "dominate" and abuse nature.
I thought, "Okay, that sounds like something that couldn't be proven. How much do we even know about the juvenile brain development of, say, wild goats or boars, anyway?"
So I found this review of the literature that goes back to the fur farm fox domestication study and it's even worse than I thought: We don't even know that a 'domestication syndrome' in animals exists at all, let alone whether it is a retention of juvenile traits into adulthood.
So the fur farm fox domestication study: you may have heard of it, it claimed to have demonstrated that within a few generations, by selecting for tameness, the researchers bred "domesticated" foxes with a whole suite of traits that appear in many domesticated animals but seem unrelated to tameness, such as piebald coloration and floppy ears. The idea is that the genes for tameness and for these other traits commonly seen in domestic animals are linked, that is, an animal that inherits one is likely to inherit the other.
There's some major problems. First of all, all the foxes used in the study were from fur farms, and had already been selected for some level of docility and for coat color variation. The foxes didn't get white spots on them because they were selected for tameness, instead the pre-existing population they were selected from had those genes in it to begin with. Also, the effective population size of the foxes in the study was pretty small, meaning a small amount of genetic drift could have a big impact.
Second, there isn't very much evidence for most of the "domestication syndrome" traits in most animals. Even where the "domestication syndrome" traits can be found, they are often particular to specific breeds, and it's unclear whether they are linked to domestication as such or just the development of that specific breed.
This study only deals with a few animals, mostly small animals. It would be even more interesting to see a breakdown of even more animals (particularly more large animals). Off the top of my head, almost none of these would apply to horses, and only in specific cases would apply to cattle. Even in dogs, extreme changes in skull morphology have happened relatively recently with breeders in modern times going after extreme phenotypes.
Particular to cats: extreme skull changes and floppy ears occur as part of some "breeds" because they are specific painful genetic disorders that breeders of cats decided to perpetuate VERY recently. Scottish Folds were deliberately developed from cats that just so happened to have a disease that causes them to be in constant suffering due to their messed up joints, it's not just a variation that regularly pops up in cats to varying extents. Likewise with the smushed-face Persians. Their brains are getting squished into where their spinal cords should go because their skulls are so messed up from selective breeding for an extreme look.
What domestication means has been majorly shaken up in the past hundred years. With companion animals, breeders are in a race to make the most screwed up animal with the most extreme, striking traits possible, and with livestock animals, lots of heritage breeds with more variations have straight up gone extinct because they've been flattened into industrial monocultures to produce meat and milk as efficiently as possible, health and genetic diversity be damned.
To study domestication itself, you would have to study landrace breeds, right?
Basically there isn't one thing that domestication is
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renai-fr · 1 month ago
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Perler Flight Banners!
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Made the first of these when I made the flight flags a bit back (my flight, Light), and figured it was a good time to make the rest of the flight banners and share the designs! To the best of my ability, they're also to scale with each other, so I think they'd look pretty good if you wanted to make the whole set and put 'em on your wall or something.
Sort of also for Dergtober's first prompt ("Flight"), but uh, ran into that thing with trad media where sometimes you run out of materials, ha! This is also why they're mostly not fused (Ice and Water share most of their mid/light blue beads, for example).
(Crafting info after the break!)
First off, all of these are either 17x34 or 19x34 (these squares are 17x17 on their own). They fit fine on the larger squares, but my big squares happen to all be either bright red or bright yellow, and don't show off the colors very well. They almost all use transparent beads for structural reasons- if you want to cross-stitch these, the transparent beads are fine to ignore! I was just making them so they could theoretically hang on a wall.
Colors used (my best guess, not gospel! I get most of my beads from kits/mixed bags, and they don't always list the color names :/ )
Light: Cream/Créme, Yellow, Cheddar, Transparent
Lightning: Copper (metallic), Robin's Egg, Parrot Green, Glitter Blue, Turquoise, Transparent
Fire: Black, Cherry, Orange, Cheddar, Neon Orange, Transparent
Arcane: Pearl Pink, Cheddar, Raspberry, Pink, Light Pink
Plague: Red, Cherry, Raspberry*, Pewter, Brown, Kiwi Lime
Earth: Brown, Light Brown, Pewter, Dark Gray
Ice: Robin's Egg, Pastel Blue, Gray, Dark Gray, Toothpaste, Light Blue
Shadow: Pastel Lavender, Purple, Dark Gray, Pewter, Toothpaste, Transparent
Wind: Kiwi Lime, Dark Green, Bright Green, Yellow, Rust, Red, Transparent
Water: Denim, Turquoise, Pastel Blue, Parrot Green, Teal, White, Marshmallow, Pastel Yellow, Transparent
Nature: Olive, Bright Green, Kiwi Lime, Dark Green, Marshmallow, Cream/Créme, Transparent
(* I used Raspberry on Plague's flag because I ran out of Cranberry. Cranberry looks WAY better, but like... mismatched didn't work at all. I highly suggest using Cranberry in place of Raspberry in all places it occurs on the design!)
Another color note- when you fuse metallic beads, the shiny stuff makes a lil halo around the bead's center hole. For Lightning, since they have wires/chains on their banner/support, I figured it would work fine, but you could swap the Copper beads out for Rust and it would look good enough, I think. You do lose the shiny factor doing that, though.
A couple of these extend off of the side of the boards; better to use a bigger board for them if you have one (or like, if you have a third 17x17, sticking it to the side of the others and scooting the entire design over a peg would also work!)
As is very visible on the Light banner, it's really easy to get a faulty fuse where the boards meet. The trick where you put masking tape/painter's tape on the back of the beads before ironing (the OTHER side, and then take the tape off to iron its side, to be clear) helps a lot on multi-board fuses. You don't have to poke holes in the tape, but I find that doing so with a ballpoint pen or what have you can help a lot with keeping the beads from moving around, etc.
Happy crafting- if you end up making any of these, please ping me (or um, whatever I'm supposed to call it... still don't quite know how this site works) so I can see!
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dcxdpdabbles · 1 year ago
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Passion for Fashion Part 4
A loud ding-dong echoes through the house. Danny sits up from where he was lying, inches from a radio playing falling water.
He found it in the garbage a few days after the whole kidnapping of Fiesco- the police got all the models to safety while the Bats were able to rescue Tim Drake, but the primary muscle, some guy named Waylon, got away. - but the station it could pick up was a natural sound effects station.
Danny had been tinkering with it, trying to figure out how to get it to connect to the local radio mostly successfully for days now. He leaned back to look past the randomly hung clothes that Dan had been stringing across their house.
Fabrics still littered the place, and it's become less of a home and more of a fabric storage.
Danny has forgotten the color of the walls, so used to just seeing clothes everywhere. It was a bit embarrassing to be so messy but it's not like they had guests in this dimension.
Which meant the door ringing even stranger.
Ding Dong.
"Dan?"
His counterpart grunts from somewhere behind the blue and green fabrics. "What?"
"Nothing," Danny calls back, side-stepping fabrics and pushing aside some mannequins. Who was on the other side of the door if Dan was in the living room turned studio?
Ding Dong.
They should really think about installing some cameras or even a peephole. Danny hesitates for only a moment before he carefully turns the knob and opens the door slightly, only enough so his eye can see through the crack.
An EverBurning Lizardman stands on his doorstep. That's....not confusing at all. Maybe the ghost was sent by Clockwork? Oh, perhaps the time Ghost was sending them back up?
"Hello?" Danny asks, swinging it open. "Can I help you?"
The Lizardman squints at him. "Dan Fenton?"
"No. I'm Danny Fenton. Dan is my twin brother."
"Right. I'm Killer Croc," The EverBurning says, straightening out his back to tower over Danny in what he thinks is supposed to be menacing. To Danny, it just looks like someone standing to attention, a lot of the ghosts do that when he is crowed.
"Nice to meet you, Killer. Cool jean jacket by the way." Danny responds. He crosses his arms and leans on the doorframe, tilting his head like a bird. Killer Croc seems taken aback by his nonchalant mannerism. "Do you want me to get Dan?"
The EverBruning lips pull back, showcasing all of his teeth. Danny is impressed by how sharp and white they are. He must use a whiting paste. He'll have to ask for the secret later. A model needed a pearl-white smile, after all. "I would like to speak to you both."
Danny considered the request before nodding his chin to his house. "Come on in. Sorry about the mess; we weren't expecting guests."
As the significant being of rippling scales and muscles made its way inside, Danny shut the door and held out his hand towards Killer.
The Lizardman blinked down at him. "What?"
"Can I take your coat?" Danny asked, so used to offering guests back at home that he forgot big city folk may not do that.
Killer's eyes narrowed. "No."
"Alright." Accepting the denial Danny rocked on his heels, pushing a large indego piece of fabric out of his face. It reveals the slight path to the kitchen. "Can I offer you something to drink? Tea, water, soda....heated ectoplasm?"
"...Water is fine." Killer settles on staring at Danny like he is the most fascinating thing he's ever seen. Not surprising. Those from the Elemenal Sector of the Infinite Releams don't see human-shaped beings often. He had plenty of young Yeti children surround him when he visited because they had never seen someone who looked like Danny before.
"Hot or Cold?"
"....Cold."
Huh. An EverBurning who did not take their water boiling? Danny would ask him about it, but he didn't want to seem like he was playing into stereotypes.
"I'll bring it out in a minute. Please make yourself at home." Danny gestures to a corner of the room. "I think the couch is somewhere in that direction. "
He doesn't wait for the Lizardman to reply instead he turns to the last place he heard his counterpart shout. "Dan! Come out here, you have a visitor!"
"No! Tell whoever they are to piss off." Dan screams back. Danny's face twitches. He hates that guy so much sometimes.
"Don't be rude! Come out here!"
Dan makes a loud obnoxious sigh, pushing the fabrics out of his way. He's still wearing the same pair of sweatpants and stain t-shirt grey oversized shirt. His hair has obviously not been comb and there are slight bags under his eyes from where he refused to get some sleep the last few days.
In short, he looks like a right mess.
"Who the hell is even bothering us..." Dan's voice trails off, face paling when he sees Killer uncomfortably trying to sit. Dan glances down at his body and then screams in mortification, warping his arms around himself. He sprints further into the house before they can get a word in. "Don't look at me! I have to get dressed! I normally look hot, I swear!"
Danny blinks. "Well....I'll get you that water while Dan gets dressed."
Killer looks far more confused than before. "Sure, kid."
Now, Danny has always been an alley of the FarFrozen. Not only was FrostBite his doctor, his ice mentor, and his general instructor for the Infinite Realms, but he was also his friend.
Nearly as close as Sam and Tucker- FrostBite had become someone he sought companionship with, which went for all of FarFrozen. Danny spent more time in the winter wonderland than in his home. This meant he knew all about their rivals- the EverBurning.
The EverBurning were a tribe of Lizardmen in hot volcanic lands to the south of the FarFrozen. They were very similar to the FarFrozen in culture and civilization, with a bit more emphasis on arts than science.
Although they were polar opposites, FarFrozen and EverBurning had no abysmal relationship. Their meet-ups reminded Danny of rival high school sports teams at most.
Danny was just an alley to the FarFrozen first.
When he returned to the living room, he arrived with Killer looking highly uncomfortable as Dan sat awful close to him now dressed a looking....well looking like what the locals called "E-Boy" sexy.
Not to be confused with Goth. Danny didn't know what the difference was, but Dan almost bit his head off the last time he pointed it out. Apparently, the fashions were completely different.
"So, Papi. why were you looking for me?" Dan all but purs. Killer shudders and quickly stands up, causing Dan to fall onto the couch cushions.
"I came here to apologize." The Lizardman starts but is cut off by his slight jump as Danny appears at his elbow, holding out the tray. He needs to remember to make noise when he moves.
"Apologize for what?" Danny asks, observing his guest take the glass cup in a scaly hand. He seemed to do so carefully, but surprisingly not uncurling his claws away- does he not know how?
"For almost trafficking you. I ugh...I sell drugs, not people. I wasn't aware those idiots were doing that when I accepted the job to kidnap Tim Drake for a few hours. I have to eat somehow, you know?" Killer shrugs at the twin stare of surprise. "I'm an ugly son of bitch, but I'm not much of a monster."
"Papi, you are gorgeous-" Dan starts, placing one hand behind the couch seat and giving a flirtatious little smirk up at the Lizardman, but Killer cuts him off.
"Okay, seriously, kid you're starting to freak me out. Not that I'm not flattered. You're the first and only one ever interested in me, but I'm twenty-eight. You're way too young for me."
Dan frowns in confusion. "I'm twenty-six. Two years isn't that much of a difference."
Killer gestures at him. "You are fifteen at the least, kid."
Dan's face ripples through various emotions before he leans back and stares at his hands as if seeing them for the first time. He whispers to them in a hushed tone of angst. "I'm seventeen."
Right.
Danny clears his throat. "It's alright, Killer. We weren't sold, and neither were any of the other models. So, no harm was done. Apology accepted."
Killer Croc seems more thrown off balance than when Danny first opens the door. Poor guy. It must have been the ice water. Danny shouldn't have made it that cold. "Just like that?"
"Just like-"
Someone breaks through his living room window. The Fentons let out cries of surprise as Killer quickly grabbed them both and rolled the ground, using his large body to shield them from the shattering glass. The intruder was likely unaware of the strung-up fabrics, for they stumble into the tied strings and quickly become entangled.
They fall to the ground in heap as the strong wire wraps around them. Danny knew he shouldn't have allowed Dan to use metal wire for his heavier pieces- especially one that taught, but Dan had been so persuasive.
(He put them up anyway, and Danny was too lazy to take them down)
"Ah man, I liked that window," Danny whines as he peaks over Killer's shoulder.
"We have windows?"
"Killer Croc! Unhand the hostages!" The person on the ground screams, shimmering around until the clothes fall away, and Danny finally gets a good look at some guy in a red and black costume?
Dan points at the stranger "Who is that-"
"Red Robin" Killer all but snares, suddenly far more violent than usual. Dan takes one look at the EverBurning before he, too, is standing at the ready for a fight- it makes his outfit look really out of place, but Danny can't say much when he's still in his own sweats.
Maybe he should have changed too?
"Should we kill him?" Dan asks, and Red Robin stops, seemingly shocked that the fashion designer would ever suggest that.
"Woah woah woah," Danny says, stepping between the two groups. He has his hands up attempting to appease the ghosts first- for all Dan looked and had been human, he spent far more years as a full-time ghost so he was more ghost than human.
Killer claws have sharpened, and he just knows it's going to be a pain and a half to get them to stop. Thinking quickly, Danny crouched down to place a kiss on the frozen- no pun intended- human on the cheek. "There is no need for a fight. I asked him out on a date and sort of forgot what time he was picking me up."
Killer stared at him like he had grown a second head, but Dan dropped his raised fists. "Oh yeah? Have fun on your date brat."
"Thanks, Dan."
He hurled Red Robin to his feet and practically pushed him out into the street before the other could get his wits about him. Once they were safely out of Dan's hearing range, Danny crossed his arms, raising an unimpressed brow to the dressed-up stranger.
"Alright, who are you supposed to be, and why did you break through my window?"
"I-"
"Danny!" Dan shouts from the broken window. He waves around a duffle bag that he quickly throws at the confused teenager. "You can go on a date dress like that! I have a reputation as a fashion designer to keep. Put that on!"
Danny rolls his eyes, turning back to the other teenager- is he a teenager? Danny can't really tell with the mask but he sort of looks like it. "Do you mind waiting for me to get ready? I'll pay for pizza."
"W-wait what-no I'm here to rescue-are you serious about the date?"
"Yeah, why not? I dated a dead biker before and his crazy girlfriend. Sides, you're pretty cute."
"Are you aware that Killer Croc is in your house?"
"Killer? Yeah, my brother is trying to seduce him."
"......why?" Red Robin whispered in horror, "Why would he do that?"
"Why does Dan do anything?" Danny grins with a shrug. "I get it, though; Killer is a good-looking EverBurning."
"EverBurning?"
"A tribe in the Infinite Realms."
There is a spark of recognition in Red Robin's body language. Now, why does this stranger know about Danny's kingdom?
Red Robin's mouth opens and closes before slowly reaching up and pressing his ear. Danny realizes only after a moment that he's using a communicator as the other says, "I'm going offline for a bit. Got a date with someone from Constitine's Infinite Realms."
Hmmm, does that sound like a problem Danny should be dealking with? Nah, as long as Red Robin's not connected to Batman, he should be fine.
(Meanwhile, Dan is pouting as Waylon slips out the back door once again regretting his offer of going on their own date. Just his luck Clockwork's little twin idea is going to make dating a nightmare. There went the best tail he's ever seen)
Master Post Link
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samandcolbyownme · 1 year ago
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Summary: Request on Wattpad - “Could u write on where y/n is a friend of Sam and colby and they invite her to a party with the intention to seduce her at said party, so the whole night they flirt with y/n and tease and touch her. When they notice that she's all riled up and confused they invite her upstairs and shit gets freakydeakey, like pure filth and name calling and stuffAnd they mostly focus on her but like that thing where they're like "you got your fun, now it's our turn to get our fun" I hope it makes sense”
Warnings: SMUT18+, strong language, alcohol drinking, pot smoking, unprotected sex with both Sam and Colby, creampie, choking, biting, sexual inuendos, praising, dirty talk, heavy teasing, filth filth and filth
Since Halloween is coming up… I’ll do a costume party.. you’re welcome so there is slight references to the devil and other stuff like that.
Word Count: 5.7k | not really edited yet
╔═══━━━─── • ───━━━═══╗
You put in your headband that had your white feathery halo attached to the top of it and looked in the mirror, "Hey, mick? You almost ready?"
You applied your red lipstick, pressing your lips together a few times before leaning back up, "They guys told us not to be late."
"The guys can wait, not like our lives revolve around them anyway." Mick says walking into the room.
Your life actually did revolve around them, you liked them. Both. A lot. But no one really knows it. They really can't. So you play it off, "You're obviously not as excited for this party as I am, so what gives?"
She lays on the bed, staring up at the ceiling, "Rough day, I guess. I need to get drunk, so.." she jumps up, her tinted pigtails bouncing as she does, "I'm excited for alcohol."
Your phone dings and you pull it out from your purse, smiling as you see it's a selfie that Sam sent of him and Colby, Hurry up and get here. We can't wait to see what costume we'll be taking off of you tonight
You roll your eyes, replying, Don't threaten me with a good time, with three added laughing faces.
It was always joke, after joke, after joke. You just wish they would finally give in to you being their girlfriend, hell, you'd even settle for being their little play thing at this point.
Colby pops up in the group chat, only one way to find out if he's joking. Get your ass hereeee!!
You bit your lip, on my way.
You were getting your hopes up, at this point you were excited for alcohol, too. But then again, alcohol, with them looking as hot as they do, probably not a good mix.
But as Colby said, there's only one way to really find out.
.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.
You arrive at the house, and it's absolutely decked out. Orange lights, pumpkins lit on each step leading up to the door, and of course the music is loud as shit.
"They really go all out, don't they?" Mick says leaning into you as you walk up the steps. You laugh slightly and look at her, "They hunt ghosts for a living, Mick. Of course they do."
She laughs and shakes her head, "Yeah, you're right." You make your way to the door that's open and has people flowing in and out of it.
"I'm going to go find a drink, you want one?" She yells to you as she looks around. You nod, "yes please and actually mix it with something."
She laughs as she walks away and you stand there, dressed in your white lingerie, mini skirt, and heels as you try to find someone you actually care to talk to.
Your small angel wings run against your arms and your heels click against the balloon filled floor as you walk.
"Hey angel."
You smirk, you'd know that voice any day, "Sam." You say turning around. He holds out an alcohol filled blood bag, "Thirsty?"
You slide it from his grasp and look at it, then back to him dressed up as a vampire, "Fitting. Very fitting." He smirks and looks you up and down and before he says anything, Colby walks up behind you, "Are you lost?"
You turn and look at him confused, "Am I what?"
"Heaven is a long, long way from here." Colby smirks slowly and your face softens as you laugh, "Ah, that's a good one, Colby. Thank you."
He looks you up and down, "Damn." He glances at Sam, "fitting isn't it?"
You look at Sam, "Huh?" He shakes his head, "Don't worry about that right now, sweetheart."
"Have you guys been drinking already?" You raise your eyebrows and look between them. They both smile and look at each other, nodding while they laugh.
"I need to catch up." You mumble as you push your way through the crowded house, trying to even catch a glimpse of Mick.
"Finally. I've been waiting for my drink." You sigh as you rest your hands on the counter, the bag Sam gave you still in your grasp.
Mick nods towards it, "where did that come from?"
You look at her and look down, "Oh. Yeah, Sam gave this to me." You shrug and toss it down on the counter, thinking about it quickly before opening it and drinking it.
"Oh my god, what the hell is in these?" You make a face and quickly chase it with a shot of something that isn't alcohol.
"That is cranberry juice and vodka." Sam says walking up beside you to make himself another drink. You look over at him, fighting back a smile, "You forgot the cranberry juice."
Mick hands you a drink before she walks away, and to your surprise, it's actually mixed very well, "Thanks."
Sam gives you the side eye with a smirk, "Lightweight."
You want to grab him and kiss him. His smirk drives you insane, along with Colby's.
And speaking of the devil, or to be specific, demon, "So what time do you have to be back in heaven?"
"Are these going to continue all night long?" You spin around, resting your lower back against the counter as you stand between them.
"Depends on how long that costume stays on for." Colby winks at you before walking away with Sam. You watch them as they move away, looking back at you with smirks on their lips.
You bit down on your cup to keep yourself from any embarrassment that might leave your lips. You quickly finish that one and spin around, their eyes still on you, as you pour yourself a drink.
You find Mick, grabbing her and dragging her over to the beer pong table, "Let's get this party started."
"Who wants to play us in pong?" Mick yells, getting almost everyone's attention.
"We will." A tall guy dressed as the joker says as his friend who is dressed as Batman stands next to him, eyeing you up and down.
"Isn't that perfect?" Mick says looking the joker up and down, "Harley Quinn, nice to meet'cha."
You take a long sip of your drink, turning towards the table and grabbing one of the pong balls, mumbling quietly, "Let's go."
You turn to Batman and hand him the other ball, "We'll shoot for first shot, yeah?"
"Anything for you, angel." He winks behind his mask and he walks over to the other side. Honestly, you loved it when Colby made the angel jokes, but from anyone else, you wanted to puke.
You shoot first, sinking your shot and Batman misses.
"We go first." You get your ball out of the cup and joker hands Mick hers and she giggles, already tipsy, "Thank you, Mr. joker."
You roll your eyes and you go to shoot. You feel both sets of eyes on you, and it wasn't from Batman or joker.
It was from the demon and the vampire who are sitting on the stairs watching your movements. You tried not to let them under your skin, blocking them out, and you sink your shot, Mick's following right behind hours.
"Two in one. We win." You hold your hands up, "Boom."
"What the hell?" Batman says and the crowd cheers for you and Mick. You glance up, Sam and Colby smiling and cheering for you as well.
"Rematch." Joker says extending his arm out, "But we get first shots this time."
You motion to the table, "All yours."
Joker sinks his, Batman doesn't. So you and Mick drink.
You and her shoot, both making it, so you get balls back. Soon enough, you knock them down to two cups, balls back again, and you win the game. You lean forward, resting your palms flat on the table, "Wanna go again?"
Batman tilts his head, "We can do this all night, angel."
And there it is, the ick.
You lean up, "I'm just going to get another drink quick. Mick, go for me." You walked away, heading over to the counter where the alcohol sits.
"So, I take it there's no curfew in heaven, huh?" Colby says walking up beside you. He leans down, resting his elbows and forearms on the countertop and you smile, "Actually, instead of being home at ten, I have to be home at 11."
Colby looks over at the clock on the stove, "looks like you got plenty of time to have fun then." He winks and rests his hand on your lower back as he stands up, "Find me later, we can have a dance before you descend back up to the pearly gates."
He stops and leans back in, "Sam too, can't make him too jealous."
You turn around, ready to ask him what he means, but he's already talking to other people. Your eyes move to the stairs and Sam is sitting there staring at you with a smile. He waves to you and you hold your hand up, in a very confused state.
They couldn't be serious. You shake your head, pouting your cup full of liquor before walking back over to the pong table.
.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.
You stumble over to the counter, resting your cup down as you debate on getting another cup. As you go to reach for the almost empty bottle, a voice makes you stop, "You sure you want more?"
You turn around and Sam's body is inches away from yours, "I feel like I kinda need it."
His hand reaches out to play with the crystal beads on your mini skirt, "You know this doesn't cover much right?"
You smirk, "Yeah, it's more for decoration, really." You look up at him, "You'd only know that if you were looking."
"Can't help but stare at the angel who decided to bless our party with her beautiful appearance." He reaches around you grabbing your cup and finishing what you had left in it.
"Hey." You whine out and take your empty cup back, "Not nice."
"I'm a vampire babe, who said I was nice?" He winks, sliding his hand slowly off of your body as he walks away, not giving you a chance to say anything else.
"Babe?" You question to yourself and turn back around slowly. You just wanted to be drunk at this point, you couldn't handle another 'joke' from them, at least if you were hammered you might at least laugh.
You perk your head up, remember what Colby said about finding him for a dance. You smirked slowly as you made your way around, asking if anyone has seen Colby, having no luck.
You make your way out back by the pool area, looking around before you see him sitting with a few other people. They're all passing around a blunt and you watch as Colby takes a hit, tilting his head back to slowly let the smoke roll out.
He brings his head back up, smirking as he sees you. You go to turn away but he calls your name, getting the other people to as well.
You walk over, freezing when you see Sam lean forward from behind the wall, "Look who it is." Sam smirks up at you, "Hey, angel, what can we do for ya."
You smile slightly, feeling awkward as you stand there with everyone's eyes on you, "I was looking for Colby, actually."
Colby raises his eyebrows, "Oh, shit." He smirks and hands the blunt to Corey, "What's up?"
"I need to talk to you." Your eyes move onto Sam. His eyes are squinted as he watches Colby get up and walk over to you. His hand rests right below your wings as he leads you back inside, "What can I do for you?"
"You said about a dance, well I'm here to give it to you." You stop and turn to him and he looks you up and down, eyes meeting yours, "That all you're going to give?"
You take a deep breath, huffing as you push past him and make your way to the downstairs bathroom. Colby follows behind you, "Hey, wait. Slow down."
You glance back at him, shaking your head as you push the door open. He quickly stops you from shutting it and pushes his way in, "I thought you wanted to dance?"
You drop your arms with a sigh, hands slapping your bare thighs, "I-I.." you groan, "Colby." You lay your hands on your face, "I like you, okay? And I like Sam. A lot."
He smirks but doesn't say anything.
After staring at him for a few seconds, you scoff, "Is that a, you don't like me back, because if you don't then I sho-" you go to walk out but he wraps his arm around the front if you and pushes you against the counter, "Did I say I didn't like you back?"
His lips are inches from yours and you've never had a stronger urge to kiss him than right now.
He leans his head back, shaking it slightly with a smile, "Sam will get jealous."
"What the fuck does that even mean? You guys are so weird when it comes to me, I thought I made it pretty clea-"
Colby leans in, pressing his lips to yours, "That's all you're going to get for right now."
"Wh-"
"It's very ironic you dressed as an angel, you know that?" His voice cuts you off, "Dressing up as one of the most pure things in the world, and yet.. you really aren't that much of an angel, are you?"
You shake your head, completely captivated by him and he lets out a low chuckle, "How can you expect to be an angel when you want both of us inside of you?"
His words make you grip his slightly undone black button up, "Colby.." you whimper out and he blows out air, "We should probably get out there.. you know before Sam comes and busts down the door."
"Wait so-"
"Just relax for a little bit and have fun, babe. You deserve it."
He steps back, releasing your hips from his grasp, "Come on, you owe me a dance." He bites his lip as he pulls you to him as he opens the door.
You stop, jumping slightly as you see Sam leaning against the wall across the small hallway, "What's going on in here?"
"Don't worry, man." Colby walks up to him, whispering something into his ear as he grabs his shoulder. A smile slowly grows on Sam's face, "Alright."
You look between them and Sam walks over to you, "Find me when you're done dancing with Colby."
He walks away, making his way to the alcohol counter and Colby wraps his arm around your waist, "Come on."
You make your way to the dance floor as someone puts on Dance (A$$) by Big Shawn. Colby yells along with everyone else and you get right into it.
Colby's hands pressing on your thighs as he grinds into you. He spins you around to face him, pulling you closer. You close your eyes, tilting your head back as you all yell out, "stop..." you look at Colby and you both smirk and say, "Now make that motherfucker hammertime like.."
You start dancing with him again, and soon enough, Sam makes his way in and you dance with him, like you were doing with Colby.
You turn around, grinding your ass on Sam as Colby holds you from the front.
"This what you wanted?" Sam asks lowly into your ear. You nod as you tilt your head back onto his shoulder and look at Colby, "Uh huh."
Sam chuckles lowly into your ear at your response, "Well prove that this little costume doesn't mean anything." His hand slides down between your legs that are on either side of Colby's leg.
You whimper out, worried that people will see and Colby reads you and leans in, "They're all too drunk to care, babe."
Sam presses his fingers hard to your clit and you grind down onto his hand that rests on Colby's, "You put on such an innocent facade, but.." Sam clicks his tongue, "We both know you're more of a devil than a saint."
You nod, completely giving into them, but that wasn't enough.
"Catch you in a bit, angel." Sam moves his hand away and steps away as the song ends. Colby grips your chin between his thumb and the side of his pointer finger, "Told ya."
They walk away, leaving you flustered on the dance floor, bodies bump into you as you stand there in a shocked state.
"Oh my god." Mick says walking up to you. You turn your attention to her, in hopes she didn't just see what happened, "What? What happened?"
"That fucking joker is macking on another Harley Quinn." She pouts, obviously drunk, "Fuck him. Let's dance please."
You weren't sure if you could, but you didn't really have a choice, plus, it wouldn't hurt to prove them right with what they think.
Innocent.
Please. You've went into buildings with them when there was a high chance of getting caught. You summon demons with them, you are far from innocent, or so you thought.
The more you thought about what they meant, it just hurt your head, so you let the music drown it out, take over.
Soon you're dancing as close as you can with Mick.
Your body rolling with here, you guys were the life of the party, until you realized that the people you were dancing for aren't there anymore.
You step back, huffing as you go get another drink. As you're drinking it, you feel a very familiar presence move behind you and lean down, "How about you meet us upstairs, hmm?"
Sam takes your cup, downing the little bit you had left, "This way, angel." He runs his hand down your arm and pulls you with him.
"Where are you taking me?" You ask confused, unsure if your dream was about to become a reality, "Sam?"
He glances back at you, smirking as he wraps his arm around your waist, "a different kind of heaven, sweetheart."
You bit your lip as you're walked into his room. He closes the door and you feel a hand slide up your chest and slowly and gently wrap around your neck, "Glad you could make it. You're way past curfew anyway."
You look at Sam, who's standing there watching Colby whisper to you as his grip on your neck grows tighter, "Looks like you'll be joining us in hell, won't ya?"
He walks you over to the bed, making you get on your knees, your back still pressed against his chest. Sam moves to his knees in front of you, brushing hair from your face, "Do you like it when Colby has his hand around your neck?"
You try to nod, but fail, so you whimper out a quiet, "Yes."
"Your innocent look makes me want to take you downstairs so every time can hear just how much of a whore for us you actually are." Sam traces your bottom lip with his thump and you part them.
His thumb slowly slides in between your lips and you close them around it, swirling your tongue and his own lips part slightly as he lets out a quiet gasp, "See this, Colby? Fuck.."
"I can see right through her act, Sam." Colby leaning, nipping your ear, "The way she looks at you. The way I catch her staring at me.. I know she wants to be our little play thing."
"Please?" You whimper out and reach out for Sam, but Colby stops you, "You've had your fun tonight, now it's our turn."
He lets go of your neck and pushes you to Sam. Your hands rest on his shoulders as his hands tightly grip your waist, "We were never joking, y/n."
He leans in to press his lips against your neck and you close your eyes, "Mm." He leans back, gently grazing his fake fangs over your skin, "We've always wanted you."
Colby leans in, kissing the other side of your neck, his demon horns rubbing against your head, "We've always talked about this."
You reach a hand up to lay it on the back of Colby's head, moaning out quietly as he bites down.
"Just never knew the right time." Sam leans back and scans over your face, "Until we seen you walk through that door in this lustful little costume, knowing exactly what you were doing."
He leans in, moving his lips with yours in a slow fashion.
"You know what you do to us, don't you, baby?" Colby pulls you away from Sam and makes you look at him, raising his eyebrows, indicating he wants you to respond.
"Yes." You nod and he tilts his head, "Yes what? Use your words, baby."
"I know what I do to you both." You look into his eyes and he smirks, "Tell us." You bite your lip taking a deep breath as you let out a soft moan at Sam's hand on your thinly covered pussy.
"I tease you." You admit, "I turn you on."
"That you fucking do." Sam says leaning in closer, "tell us how you want us to treat you.”
"L-like a whore." You whimper out as Sam slips his fingers between your costume and skin, "Is that what you want?"
Colby unzips your body suit as you nod, "Yes, yes. Please." You moan as Sam slips two fingers into you.
"Tell us how." Colby slips your straps down your shoulders, making sure to leave your wings on you. His hands slide to your boobs, kneading them.
"Fuck me." You tilt your head back to rest onto his shoulder, "Use me."
"Planned on it, angel." Sam whispers as he pulls his fingers out, "Lay back."
You lay back and their hands roam up and down your body slowly, "Should we take this off?" Sam glances up at Colby and he nods, "she's playing with satan's houseboys tonight."
His words make your stomach do a flip and your eyes move constantly between them as they take off your white bodysuit, leaving you naked in nothing but your wings and halo.
"Sam.." you whimper out as you reach for him with one hand, "Colby.." as you reach for him with your other, "Please?"
They both move to either side of you, Colby's hand slowly working its way in between your legs. Sam hooks his arm under your leg, holding it open as Colby rubs his fingers up and down your needy cunt, "She's so fucking wet."
"She probably always is for us." Sam leans in, rubbing his nose gently up and down your cheek, "Aren't ya?"?
You nod, "Always."
Colby dips his fingers in, slowly curling them as he watches your eyes flutter closed, "Keep them open."
Your eyes snap open and you fight to keep them open as he thrusts his fingers in and out. Sam's hand slides over, pressing little circles onto your clit, "You gonna cum for us?"
You nod, arching your back, "Yes, yes yes."
"She's such a little slut." Colby says lowly was he leans down to take your one nipple into his mouth. Sam follows his actions with your other one, causing your brain to become fuzzy.
You gasp, laying your hands on the back of their heads, moaning as you clench around Colby's fingers, "Fuckfuck, y-yes."
"There ya go, baby." Sam moves to kiss up your neck, leaving a trail of tiny hickies to prove to everyone that you're really not an angel after all.
Colby pulls his hand so he can stand up, "I want that mouth of hers right now." Colby undoes his pants, pushing them down to get rid of them.
You watch as he moves over, pulling you up to you're on your knees. He leans round you, looking at Sam, "You want her on your face?"
"Fuck, come here." He lays back, gripping your hips to guide you over to where he wants you. Colby moves down by Sam's legs, gripping your chin so he can tilt your head up, "Sit down, whore."
You bite your lip, smirking slightly as you let your hips rest down. Your nails dig into the fabric of Sam's pants as his tongue slips into you.
Colby strokes his cock a few times as he watch your face scrunch up with the pleasure from being eaten out by Sam, "You're so fucking sexy. Now open those slutty little lips for me."
Your lips part, a moan escaping as you look up at him, waiting for his cock to slip past them. His own lip pulls between his teeth, muffling a moan as he slides his cock in as far as it will go.
"Have at it, angel." He winks down at you. You moan against him as you bring your right hand up, wrapping it around his cock. You start to bob your head, moaning out as Sam pulls your hips down to him more.
Colby brushes hair from your face, holding the sides of your head with his hands, "That's it, baby. Fuck.." Colby tilts his head down, watching you devour his cock.
You clench around Sam's tongue, your moans muffled by Colby's cock as you cum.
"Y/n.." Colby moans out, "Fuck, fuck. Cum on his face, that's it. Good girl." Your eyes move up to him, indicating that you liked it.
He smirks, moaning lowly as he shakes his head slightly, "Fuck, angel. You keep looking at me like that and I'll cum." He pulls his cock out and moves down to press his lips to yours, "We don't want that yet."
You reach up, grabbing his shirt as Sam gets you to cum again.
"Fuck, again? Sam must really be doing a number on you, huh?" Colby chuckles as he kisses you, swallowing your moan with ease.
"Fuck." Sam pulls away with a sigh, "Colby, you need to taste her."
"Do you want me between those legs next?" Colby tilts your head up to look at him and you nod, "Yes, Colby."
He smirks, "lay down."
You move off of Sam and lay on your back across the bed so your head is handing slightly off the edge. Colby moves in between your legs, pushing them open and not wasting another second.
His lips attach to your clit, sucking as your neck arches off the bed, "Oh fuck." You grip the blanket below you, pulling as Colby eats you out.
Sam watches as he gets himself ready then steps towards you, tapping the head of his cock of your lips.
You open your eyes, moaning out as he glides his cock into your mouth. He groans and lays a hand on your head, "Oh, angel."
Colby digs his fingers into your hips as he groans against you. You dig your heels into his back as you clench around his tongue.
"Be a good little slut and cum for Colby." Sam says, "We know you want to."
Sam's words push you over the edge, spilling yourself onto Colby. Your moans are muffled as Sam's cock is pushed and held into your mouth.
Your eyes roll back and your chest is rising and falling quickly.
"Again, wouldn't be fair that you came for me twice and him once." Sam chuckles but it's quickly turns into a moan as you hallow out your cheeks.
"F-fuck.." he gasps and reaches down to play with your boobs, kneading them and pinching and pulling at your nipples.
"Cum for Colby, whore." Sam's voice is low and raspy, you can tell his trying not to cum himself, "Fuck." He pulls his cock out, bending down to kiss you as you finally reach that second orgasm from Colby.
"You want first go?" Colby looks at Sam as he crawls up your body. Your eyes move to Sam and his meet yours, "I'd be honored to ruin her first."
Your heart skips a beat and Colby leans down, kissing you. You moan at the taste of yourself on his tongue before he stands up.
You feel Sam grab your ankles and flip you around so you're on your stomach. He brings your hips up, teasingly sliding his cock up and down your achingly wet cunt.
Colby moves down to your eye level, "I want everyone at this party to hear those pretty little slutty sounds.
You nod, gasping as Sam pushes his cock into you fully. His grip on your hips is harsh, "Oh shit." He slowly pulls out and slowly pushes back in, feeling how well you hug his cock with the walls of your pussy, "shit."
Your head falls down, resting on the bed as you arch your back, pushing your hips up and back, "Fuck, Sam."
"That feel good?" Colby asks, "let everyone know."
You let out a loud moan, lifting your head up to look at Colby as Sam rails into you from behind, "Fuck." You practically scream, already clenching his cock, "Oh my god."
Colby chuckles, cupping your cheeks with his hands, "Let Sam know how good it feels, angel.”
Sam groans, pulling your hips back to meet his as he pushes fully inside, resting there, "Tell me, baby."
"You feel so good." You say quickly.
"Louder." Sam and Colby say in unison and Sam starts to thrust again, a smirk plastered on his lips.
"Sam!" You scream out, "you feel so good."
"Cum for him, then it's my turn with you." Colby leans in, slowly making out with you, "you're being such a good little slut."
You push your hips back, rocking them as you cum, moans being ripped from your lips left and right, "Fuck, fuck fuck."
Sam slows his thrusts down, pulling out as he tells you to turn around. You sluggishly pull away from Colby and spin around to face Sam.
You feel Colby's hands slide up your legs and over your achy slit before gripping your hips. You take Sam's cock into your mouth before he can tell you.
"Good fucking girl, angel." He moans out breathless, "Fucking hell."
Colby moans deeply as he slips his cock into you, "Shit, I wanna cum already."
You moan around Sam's cock and he nods, "Uh huh."
Colby quickly builds up into a punishing pace. You let out choked moans as your eyes roll back. Sam pulls his cock out, handing down to eye level like Colby did, "Tell em. Let them hear how good we make you feel, angel."
Sam bushes hair from your face, and lifts your head so he can wrap his hand around your neck, "Tell Colby, baby. Tell us how much of a slut you are for us."
"I'm your slut." You whimper out and Sam shakes his head, "Louder, angel."
You swallow as Sam's grip on your throat tightens, "I'm your fucking slut. Whore. Fucking shit, Colby you feel so good."
Colby groans, "Fuck, again. Say it again."
"I-I'm your whore." You lock eyes with Sam, "I'm your fucking slut."
"That a girl." Sam presses his lips to your forehead and looks at Colby who nods at him.
"We're going to cum together, okay." Sam rubs your cheek, "hold it for us until we say."
You nod and gasp as he lets go of your throat, standing up to put his cock back into your mouth. Both Sam and Colby are thrusting into you, Colby harder than Sam.
You're a mess between both of them, wanting to collapse but you're trying so hard to hold it together.
"I'm filling this pussy. Sam can tomorrow." Colby groans and you moan around Sam's cock.
"Fuck, colbs, I don't think I can last any longer." Sam groans, "Fuck, she's so fucking good."
"Wish we would have done this sooner." Colby moans and his thrusts get sloppy, along with Sam's. You feel their cocks twitching inside of you and you taste Sam as he runs down your tongue and down your throat.
You suck him clean, moaning together as he pulls out. Colby pushes his cock in deeper here pulling out, "Fuck, is she okay?"
Your body falls onto the bed slowly as your chest rises and falls fast, "Mhm."
"Need you to tell us, angel." Sam whispers as he runs a hand over your forehead. You opened your eyes and look at him, "I've always wanted this. I'm great."
Sam smirks and looks at Colby, "Think we should call it a night?"
Colby shrugs, "I mean, if she's up here, I'm up here."
Sam agrees, "You're more scary than I am so you go kick these people out." Colby chuckles as he slips his pants back on, "Already on it."
Sam works at getting you cleaned up, taking off your wings and halo and setting them down with your bodysuit, "Did such a good job." He presses his lips to your forehead.
"Never knew if you guys were always joking around like you usually do." You whisper as you shift around in the bed, finding a comfortable position.
He shrugs, "At first it was, but then we got to talking and we both like you.. and we know you like us, we picked up in that a while ago."
You laugh slightly, body starting to ache, "Well I'm happy that it happened."
He nods and sits down next to you, "Us, too."
Colby walks back in, "Alright, where were we?"
.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.
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imtherain · 20 days ago
Text
He Brings Me Flowers: (Sex Pollen/Logan) Part One
Hey hey heyo
I'm only a few days late and this is only half the fic, but I promised I'd publish this sooner, so I broke it in half. I'll probably post a full version too at some point.
Warnings: Sex Pollen, some fighting, plants!, surprise lesbians, newly married Jean/Scott, reader is in 1rst person because I write better that way usually, a lot of internal talking, negative self image, kinda of a cliff hanger, no sex specifically but people get a bit frisky.
I promise I'm trying to finish the rest, but my brain cells are tired
Word Count (I shouldn't tell you): just shy of 10k for this one
tagging @gothamnighthawk because I took a screenshot (promptly forgot which thing she wanted tagged in and took the last 20 minutes verifying I had the right fic)
[Masterlist]
[Logan List]
Here we go!
It all started with what sounded like a basic mission, recon only, investigating a base that had been found in a dense forest a few miles outside of a small town I’d never heard of, just across the Canadian border. The rumor was that the base was working on creating new biological weapons, but when I landed the jet, all we’d really found was a sudden, inexplicable, field of flowers.
Honestly, the place was extraordinarily beautiful, like stepping into a whole different world. The field was entirely surrounded by trees, sentinels against the outside world, holding the flower field in its arms like it was afraid they would escape. Perhaps that should have been warning enough… something too pretty in a place it shouldn’t be.
No one seemed to have any issues as we approached. And there were a lot of us, considering it was a simple recon mission, but it was a chance to stretch everyone’s legs, so basically anyone who wanted to come along had been allowed to join. 
Jean and Scott hadn’t been on a mission at all since their honeymoon, so they signed up. Rogue had been asking to go on a mission for months now, and Ororo only let her because she tagged along to keep an eye on the younger woman. And then there was Logan, who just seemed to be the default on every mission. I heard Scott joke once that they needed to bring him to ‘take the dog for a walk so he didn’t chew up anyone’s shoes’.
Oh, and of course, there was me.
I really enjoyed going on missions, but mostly because I really enjoyed flying the jet. It not only was a blast, but it made me feel useful, which was nice, because my mutations didn’t really seem all that great compared to everyone else’s. All I could do was freeze someone in time for a bit, which sounds far cooler than it is, and there weren’t exactly a lot of cases for that being particularly useful. I’d only really ever used it to hold someone until someone more important than me could come get them. And even that was rare. 
At the end of the day I was just really fancy handcuffs.
Logan and Scott were bickering while we made our way through the flowers. In patches the petals were yellows, some as big as the mammoth sunflowers my aunt used to grow, and some smaller petalled ones that looked like black-eyed-Susans. Another patch was all creamy whites, three or four different petal groupings. One patch was pale orange, another, brilliant reds. Some looked familiar and some were totally alien to me. It was almost as though every flower someone could think of was here in the field around us.
Jean and Rouge were walking behind the boys, trying to deescalate, and Ororo was right behind them. She seemed just as interested in the flowers as I was.
“Wouldn’t be a mission without those two fighting, would it?” Ororo’s voice came from beside me suddenly. I nodded.
“I swear, I don’t even hear it anymore, it’s just like how I got used to the train whistle when I lived near a crossing,” We laughed.
“Do these flowers seem off to you?” Ororo asked carefully. It was almost as though she was trying to check to see if she was hallucinating or not.
“I was wondering how they got so many varieties to bloom all at once,” I agreed. “Because back that way I saw a whole bunch of flowers that shouldn’t be blooming this time of year, right next to ones that shouldn’t be growing this far north at all,” 
“Maybe they have something to do with the intel we received,” Ororo said. 
“What are you ladies talking about back here,” Logan’s voice drew both of our attention away from the patch of warm golden flowers we’d been admiring.
“Do these flowers seem weird to you?” I asked him. Logan’s eyes traced my face quickly before he glanced across the field. Ororo smirked at me but I ignored her.
“Not really,” He shrugged. “It all smells the same,” 
“What does it smell like?” Ororo asked, obviously hoping for some sort of insight. 
“Flowers,” He said unhelpfully. Ororo rolled her eyes at him and went to catch up with the others. Leaving me alone with Logan. 
Who was staring at me.
“What? Is there something on me?” I asked, alarmed. With this many flowers around, it wouldn’t be a surprise for there to be all kinds of bees. I wasn’t allergic that I knew of, but I also didn’t really want to find out otherwise.
“Nothing,” Logan shook his head. “Just thinking about how it’s been a while since I’ve seen you out on a mission,” 
“I literally fly you to every mission,” I rolled my eyes at him and started walking again. I didn’t want to get too far behind everyone else. Not to mention, being alone with Logan had the bad habit of making me daydream about him falling hopelessly in love with me one day.
Which I knew for a fact, was delusional at best.
“Well yeah, but you usually wait in the jet,” Logan pressed. “It’s nice to see you out,” 
“Just another person for you to show off for, huh?” I smirked, thinking I caught him.
“Nah,” He disagreed. “I don’t show off for those losers,” He nodded towards the group ahead of us with no malice in his tone. “I only show off for pretty girls like you,”
I scoffed.
“Laying it on pretty thick today,” I rolled my eyes at him even though my cheeks were red. Logan chuckled and I hated that I had the feeling he knew exactly how warm his compliment had made my chest.
But I also really wished he wouldn’t tease me so much. I knew he wouldn’t want someone like me and that he only did it to make my blush and nothing more. We were coworkers, neighbors kind of since we both lived in the adult dorms, and sometimes I’d even dare to say we were friends. But anything other than that? There was no way. He only called me pretty as a favor, a harmless tease, the way I told every cat I saw that he was handsome. And I mean, every cat is handsome, so maybe that isn’t the right comparison.
All I knew was that Logan wouldn’t want to fall in love with me. No one ever did. 
I had convinced myself I was just fine with that. Just like every other boy I’d ever gotten feelings for. I was a friend at best, never a girlfriend, never even someone to fuck. I’d made my peace with that as a young woman who found herself surrounded by doors that stayed shut, stayed locked, stayed with their flashing signs that read “Love Inside: No Admittance.”
We came upon the building not long after. It looked remarkably like an office building of some sort, but it was only one story tall and sprawling. Logan, as always, led the charge inside, checking corners and doorways as we made our way through the surprisingly unlocked front doors. I stayed with Ororo and Rouge who were both better in hand to hand situations than I was, even though I had gotten pretty good at sparring. Mostly that was thanks to Logan who taught me how to kick someone’s ass without worrying about hurting them, as that had always been an issue I had sparring with the other women. 
I was simply… bigger than them. Both taller and thicker. Hell, I knew for a fact you could add Ororo and Jean together and I’d still have about 30 pounds on them. Not to mention the time I’d given Ororo a black eye when she had finally convinced me to spar with her, and that was the same day I’d knocked the wind out of her when I wasn’t even trying to. 
Clumsy at best, uncoordinated. Not really useful for much of anything when you can’t even control your limbs correctly. Why would they bother to bring you on missions if you couldn’t fly the jet?
We didn’t see much of anything on the first level of the building. A few cameras mounted high on the wall, but they were all busted and clearly not functional. Empty offices with dusty shelves and overturned chairs. A pile of metal folding chairs collapsed near the front doors.
One room was full of empty flower pots, which was strange but harmless. Honestly, it looked as though no one had even set foot in the place in several years.
The lower level showed signs of life, but not signs of weapons being made.
The level appeared to have been mostly conference rooms originally, large glass windows looking into square spaces from a nondescript hallway. The first one was mostly empty, the only thing left was another stack of those uncomfortable metal chairs pushed against a wall. A large, dark stain, bloomed in the middle of the carpet. It smelled like mold and must.
Most of the other rooms were filled, or at least partially filled, with vines. The whole level smelled thick and cloying like a greenhouse with all the fans off. No airflow. All green air and black earth.
“Never seen anything like this before,” Jean mused.
“What, you never saw Little Shop of Horrors?” Logan asked. 
“Let’s hope this is nothing like that,” Scott slid himself into the conversation, as he always did when Logan talked to Jean. 
“Nothing seems to be moving,” I added. “But everything seems to be alive,” 
“Unsettling,” Rouge shivered at the thought. “And weren’t there supposed to be people here?” 
“Oh god, I hope they aren’t in there with all those vines,” I felt my throat constrict at the thought. 
“I don’t really want those nightmares,” Scott agreed. 
“I don’t sense anything with a heartbeat,” Jean soothed our worries, but seemed a bit nervous about whatever it was she did sense. “Not here anyway,” 
“Are you sensing something somewhere else?” Scott paused in front of her, his hands going to her arms to sooth her. They were sweet, Scott always coming to Jean’s aid, trying to make things ok for her in every way he possibly could. I often wondered if I’d like to be taken care of like that, but I figured it would make me feel like a child, and I hated being treated like a child. 
Jean said something back to Scott and he smiled at her softly.
After a while, watching them just sort of hurt my teeth.
I paused at a desk that was half covered with the greenery spilling out of the room next to it. It almost looked like the vines had either pushed the desk out of their way, or were trying to pull it back in. And these vines seemed to be leafier. Broad expanses begging to get sunlight. I wondered who would be cruel enough to grow plants like that in the dark. Or rather mostly dark, as there were a few fluorescent lights still doing their best.
Under the reaching leaves, I found some papers. Most were water damaged and useless, but one appeared to be an old magazine clipping of a man smiling at the camera, a greenhouse in the background. The way the picture had been torn from the magazine had removed the top half of the man’s head, but you could still make out the smile, still see the teeth.
There was a boy next to the man, but the boy wasn’t smiling. He was holding a potted plant to his chest, as if hoping he could hide behind the many different flower heads all coming out of it. He wore a black jacket that seemed all the more dark next to the taller man’s white lab coat.
“I found a picture,” I said, just loud enough that the others could hear. “Not sure it means anything,” 
“Let me see it,” Ororo came and took it from me. “Hmm, don’t those look kind of like the field outside?” Scott took the old clipping from her next. 
“Yeah, seems close enough to be related. Think the boy or the dad is behind all this then?” Scott asked. He flipped the image over and part of the article was visible, but he didn’t bother sharing it with the class.
“That’s an old magazine,” Logan said, not needing to look too close. “I’d wager the son,” 
“Ok, but either way, why would they be making weapons out here if they were plant people?” I asked. “I haven’t seen anything to suggest a weapon is even being made here.” 
“There’s someone coming, hide,” Jean said suddenly. Everyone moved without questioning her. 
Ororo pulled Rouge under the desk I’d been searching, the vines hanging down enough to shield them. Jean and Scott moved to slide into the nearest-to-them conference room, barely squeezing in amongst the plant life there.
I looked around, panic in my chest as I realized I didn’t have anywhere to go. The conference room to my direct left had vines pushing their way out the door. The desk was already hiding two people. I couldn’t help but freeze as I realized there was nowhere for me to hide and I was too big to just slide in somewhere. I’d get caught and blow the whole mission.
Logan caught my eye and came running towards me, which honestly, didn’t help my panic. I opened my mouth to tell him to hide himself, but he was faster than me, covering my mouth with his hand. His other arm came around my middle, holding me flush with his chest, effectively stilling us both and preventing me from making any noise.
I tried to wiggle away from him, confused as to how us standing still was going to prevent us getting caught. Logan just shushed me, and held me tighter as he listened for the threat I was sure he’d be able to hear even though I couldn’t.
Heat bloomed in my cheeks at the nearness of him. He smelled like leather and his last cigar and whatever it was he put in his hair. I heard him sniffing, trying to figure out where exactly the threat was, and probably what it was.
“Come on,” Logan’s voice was low and directly against the shell of my ear and it made me shiver. He took my hand and pulled me with him, back the way we’d come, but only into the previous section hallway so that we could hide behind the open fire doors. One side was off its hinges, leaning heavily against the wall, the other side was only partly open, making a nook between the metal and the wall behind it.
Logan pushed me into the space first so that he was on the outside should anyone or anything come for us. Always the ‘walk on the road side of the sidewalk’ type.
“I could just freeze them maybe,” I offered in a hoarse whisper.
“We don’t know who they are or what they can do,” Logan’s whisper was harsher than mine. “Best let me handle it,” 
Normally, I would have sassed him, but my heart was in my throat as if this was the worst possible game of hide-and-seek. Which, it kind of was.
There was a loud banging and the sound of someone cursing at themselves. I could almost make out their muttering as they made their way down the hall to where the others were hiding. I couldn’t see much through the opening at the hinges, but I could see the edge of the room filled with vines and make out the corner of the desk.
“Hmm, didn’t think you’d make so many leaves down here… brave girl,” A male voice praised one of the vines. I could just barely make out the reflection of his back on the glass window of one of the nearer conference rooms. He wore a white lab coat that was clearly dirty at the bottom like some mad scientist. Working with plants was dirty work, so I guess the look was warranted at least.
The man turned and began walking our way again. I felt Logan’s hand press itself against the soft part of my hip as he reached blindly behind himself to find me. He wanted to know where I was so that if and when this went sideways, he could step in front of me. I knew how he was, always a protector, and me always needing protecting. That was part of why I often stayed in the jet on missions. I didn’t want to get in his, or anyone else’s, way.
I turned to look up at Logan, listening to the mad scientist muttering to himself as he checked another section of vines. I hoped Logan could read my face as I tried to tell him not to worry about me. Logan held my eyes and I gripped onto his arm as the muttering got closer. I watched in fascination as Logan raised his free hand and his claws came out, slowly enough that they hardly made any noise at all. He looked back out the open side of our hiding spot.
I tugged on his sleeve, trying to draw him closer to me, farther from where the door wouldn’t cover him well enough. He cast me a glare that normally would have had me shrinking away from him, but as much as he wanted to protect me, I needed to protect him too. I shook my head at him, begging him to stay put. Begging him with my eyes, please, for once, just stay still.
The muttering suddenly stopped and I held my breath. Just as Logan made to move, I touched the back of my hand to his cheek and he froze, my powers temporarily holding him out of time.
I felt bad for having done it to him as I knew it wasn’t a fun experience. While it did not have any lasting effects physically, the entire time you were frozen, you could not breathe (not that you needed to), you could not move, you could not do anything but perceive the world around you. The longest I’d ever held anyone was just shy of 47 minutes. And I hated that someone had had to experience it for that long just to prove something to Charles, who had requested such a test. 
It had been one of the scientists that Charles had hired on as an intern at the time, a young man who’s name I didn’t remember. I did, however, remember how he told me it was fine, that he could take it. We even did a short session first, just a few minutes. Then he wanted to see just how long I could hold him for. Everyone else involved was so fascinated the whole time, even the scientist who had had to suffer for me to learn about myself. To learn how hard it got to hold someone like that. How I felt them struggle against my teeth.
And the scientists had learned that my powers simply paused the existence of someone, and then when I let them go, they were fine as though no time had passed. Their bodies, perfectly fine.
The mad scientist went on his way down the hall. Muttering about fertilizer and wondering where he’d left his coffee. His lab coat fluttering behind him as he went.
Once I could no longer hear him, I touched Logan’s cheek again and released him from my hold. It was easier to let someone go if I touched them again, but it wasn’t really necessary. My hold would wear out eventually, and Logan was always quicker to flee my hold than most. I figured it was because he struggled more than others.
He took a deep breath, grumbling a bit as he adjusted to having control of his limbs back, and glared at me.
“What the fuck was that for?” He demanded. 
“I didn’t want you to hop out and start clawing people without knowing what’s going on,” I snapped back. “And I could tell you were about a half a second away from doing just that,” 
Logan glared at me some more, but then shook his head, not wanting to admit I was right. 
“Let’s go get the others,” He said, taking my wrist and pulling me back into the hallway. I pulled my arm from him, rubbing the warm spot he left behind. Without the threat of being caught, him touching me at all seemed really uncalled for. Entirely inappropriate.
And something I knew I’d commit to memory for the next time I wondered what human connection felt like on a physical level.
But whatever, he shouldn’t be touching me… but since it was for extenuating circumstances, I supposed I could let it go for now. 
“Thank goodness you two are alright,” Rouge’s accent always got stronger when she was worried. “Did you see where he went?” 
“He was headed for the stairs we took to get down here,” Logan told her. He was hovering near me, and I wondered why I had the feeling he had something he wanted to say to me. But when I looked up at him, question marks in my eyes, he looked away.
He didn’t normally look away from me, and it stung. But now wasn’t really the time to be That Girl about it. If he was going to be mad at me, I could apologize again later and he’d forgive me. He always did.
“Well I say we go thata way,” Scott deadpanned, though he clearly said it like that to get a reaction. He was pointing in the opposite direction of the mad scientist.
“I hate to agree with Cyclops, but,” Logan chimed in.
“He’s right,” Ororo said, brushing a wayward bit of plant matter off Rouge’s back. “And we should hurry to find our information before that man comes back this way,” 
We moved faster now, not stopping until we found what was clearly the only office still being used as such. There were about fifteen different computer monitors stacked up on each other. Some were the big old CRT monitors, flickering dully with lists of data. Most were newer models, LCD screens or what seemed to be old flat screen TVs. Some were bolted to the wall.
Ororo and Rouge went to investigate the computer screens closer, reading the data and trying to figure out what he was doing. Jean joined them after a moment of whispering with Scott. Part of me always felt like she was up to something when she did that, but Logan told me he could always hear what sappy shit they were saying and that I wasn’t missing anything.
I had told Logan once that if he ever saw me get like that about a man he should just kill me. Logan had laughed, and promised me he would.
“Well, looks like we’re dealing with the son,” Logan said. He had gone to dig through a pile of papers and manilla folders. He held out a newspaper and I took it, reading the headline.
“‘Henry Mitchelle, Father of Renowned Botanist Prodigy Malachi Mitchelle, dead at 52. Cause Still a Mystery’.” I said aloud. I skimmed the article. “Sounds like daddy dearest’s greatest accomplishment was having his son. And this says the police should blame Malachi for the death, since Henry had been of solid health until suddenly he, well, wasn’t.” 
“He had heart failure, which had nothing to do with me.” A new voice said from the door that none of us had thought to watch. Everyone turned to him, ready to fight. He held up his hands as if he were surrendering.
“That why you started making weapons?” Logan asked. He was the only one that didn’t look like he was ready to fight, but I knew he was likely to be the first one to get in front of whatever Malachi would surely throw at us.
Malachi scoffed loudly. He was probably 35 or so, his hair needed a brush and probably a good scrub. There were soil smudges on his cheek, his forehead, and on every article of clothing he wore. His hair was mousy brown and his eyes were a terrifyingly bright shade of green.
“You think I make weapons?” Malachi sounded like we had just accused him of trying to water a fake plant. “The reason I’m out here in the middle of nowhere is so that everyone and their uncle will stop asking me to make them weapons. I suppose that’s why you’re here, you all look official.” His tone conveyed his annoyance with the idea of “official” anything. 
“We’re not government,” Scott offered. Malachi stepped into the room and took the newspaper out of my hand. He ignored Scott entirely.
“My dad always told me that I was so gifted, that I could change the world. But he also wanted the money, so he sold me off to whoever wanted my plants for the highest price.”
“I’m sorry he was like that,” I said, empathetic. I knew far too many people, fathers or otherwise, that likely would have done the same. “You deserved better,” 
“I actually had ‘better’ too, my mother.” Malachi’s face softened with the memory of her. “But she passed as well, someone told me once it was careless to have lost both parents,” 
“Are the flowers for your mother?” Ororo’s voice came from behind me. Malachi’s neon eyes turned to her.
“Originally, yes, and she loved them. I call them Feel Good Flowers because they helped the body release happy chemicals,” He smiled so softly at the memory. I wondered how this man could be dangerous. He mostly seemed to be sad, but content enough to keep living.
“I take it dad wasn’t thrilled with your Happy Flowers,” Scott said. He was standing in front of Jean and Rouge, who were both still trying to investigate while we held Malachi’s attention.
“They were deemed ‘inefficient, ineffective, and useless’ so… no, my father wasn’t exactly proud of them. Couldn’t make him money, couldn’t bring back the dead,” 
“Sounds like a jerk,” Scott’s attempt to hold Malachi’s attention was weak, but worked well enough.
“It was a blessing when he died,” Malachi agreed. “Even if they tried to blame me for it,” 
“Nice sob story, bub,” Logan said, obviously bored with this conversation. “So what are you doing out here then?” I felt my gut twist with the way Malachi’s eyes turned to Logan. Logan clearly felt the shift too because he was suddenly a lot less nonchalant about this whole thing.
“Trying to be left alone,” Malachi’s voice grew echoey as he snarled the words. 
“We were told there were weapons being made here, that’s why we’re here…” Ororo tried to cut in. Normally, her voice was soothing and cut the tension. I’d seen her talk down several potentially dangerous mutants before, which was also why she made an incredible vice principal at the school. 
But this time she’d picked an unfortunate choice of words.
Malachi’s eyes were fully glowing suddenly, just like he was a halloween decoration with those stupid LED eyeballs. A loud crash came from behind us and the wall broke in, vines shooting through. 
A flash of Cyclop’s eye bolts cut through most of them. Another crash and this time, the ceiling came down under the weight of thick plant life. There was shouting and I reached forward, trying to grab Malachi. I figured I could freeze him and it would hopefully stop the vines. 
But Logan was closer, and saw my play, so he stepped between us, swinging claws at the scientist’s face.
“Cut the crap, asshole,” Logan snarled as Malachi dodged him. “We were playing nice,” 
“You came in here to disturb me,” Malachi moved away from Logan easily as vines tangled his legs. Logan fell to the ground with a grunt, but was able to slice the vines off in one easy swing. 
“If you’re out here killing people with plants, yeah!” I shouted after him. I was out in the hallway now, both trying to be out of the way, and block Malachi from escaping towards the stairs. Malachi laughed. 
“The only people my plants have killed are the ones who came in here looking for weapons,” His face, which had been so normal before, was now a twisted snarl. “Care to be next?” The skin of his lips, and the waterline around his eyes, both seemed to have darkened to a deep green. His eyes still glowed that eerie LED green that was unsettlingly fake, but only because I knew he wasn’t made of plastic. 
“How about we don’t kill anyone?” I offered. I eyed the vines that were now crawling on the floor towards me. They curled up on themselves when they got cut down the line. I saw Logan move away from the spot the vines ended, chasing after Malachi.
“Y/N, take Storm and Rouge back to the jet, we’ll handle him,” Jean said, pushing Rouge in my direction. 
“What? We can help!” Rouge snapped.
“We can cover that end of the building while Logan deals with Malachi,” Ororo’s soothing voice came out again and Rouge bristled at it. But also, Ororo had a point. Plus, I could work on getting the jet ready to go, and it would keep Rouge, who was still not really an official XMan, out of harm's way.
“I’ll keep the seats warm,” I relented easily enough, even though the roar I heard down the hall made my anxiety spike. Logan was fighting hard, and the building shook every time he took a hit. “Y’all best go get Logan in check before they collapse the whole building,” Another crash and Jean winced, knowing it was just a matter of time before I was right. 
“We’ll go get him,” One could never see Scott’s eyes, but you could sure hear how hard he rolled them whenever Logan was up to his…shenanigans.
I grabbed Rouge’s arm and turned her towards the exit, cutting her off in the middle of arguing with Ororo about how the fight was being broken up.
“Trust me, no one’s going to get to fight much, you aren’t missing anything,” I told her. She brushed me off with a huff. 
“I know, but I hate feeling like I’m being sidelined just because I’m a newbie,” 
“I’ve been doing this for ages, and I get sidelined more often than not,” I said, a poor attempt to sooth her ruffled feathers. “There are worse things than being needed elsewhere,” 
Rouge groaned because she knew I was right.
We made pretty good time getting back to the first floor. As soon as we saw natural light again, we all sort of sighed in relief. I think we were all a bit nervous about getting buried alive and didn’t want to admit it. 
The floor behind us shook as vines shot up through it, a wave in the ocean of speckled beige. When they receded Logan’s body was lying face up and groaning on the old tiles.
“You know what? Fuck this guy,” Logan muttered as he hauled himself to his feet. A blast from Scott cut through the same hole Logan had just popped out of. “Watch it Summers!” 
“Come on,” Ororo grabbed my arm and pulled me away from the fighting again. Logan looked up and our eyes met for a brief second. I knew he’d be ok, but I hated how many hits he always seemed to have to take first. As I turned to look where I was going, I swear I saw him wink at me.
Even in the middle of a fight he found time to tease me. He really was a bully at the worst times. I told myself I didn’t care if it made my chest warm to see him so at ease in a fight.
Plus, I sometimes wondered if he liked getting hit.
“Can’t go that way!” Rouge’s voice cut into my thoughts as a mass of vines covered the front entrance.
“I thought he wanted us to leave?” I groaned. The vines tangled into each other and seemed to solidify into a new wall. “You got anything Miss Storm?” I asked. She thought for a moment.
“I can’t do anything inside the building with all the windows blocked.” Ororo lamented.
“Logan!” Rouge’s voice shouted behind us. “We can’t get out!” 
“He’s a little busy,” I rolled my eyes looking for something to help us. There were some more old chairs, but that didn’t really seem useful at the moment.
“Never too busy for you,” Logan’s voice at my shoulder made me jump. He’d come running when Rouge shouted but it always surprised me how fast he was when he wanted to be.
“Think you can open the doors for us?” I asked him, pretending he wasn’t smiling at me. Pretending he didn’t look amazing fresh from getting shoved through who knows how many walls (and also the floor) of the main office.
“One weed wacker, coming up,” Logan unsheathed his claws with a smirk and I rolled my eyes at his joke wondering how long he’d been working on that one.
Logan chopped through one layer of vines, just for it to be replaced by another. He growled and went after it with both hands, but still, each vine he cut was replaced by another. 
The floor shook and jostled me into the useless metal chair pile that occupied the space behind me. The noise was far more obnoxious than the pain it caused me. Rouge cursed as she also lost her footing and landed against the vine wall. Luckily, the vines didn’t seem to care since she wasn’t trying to prune them.
“You good, sweetheart?” Logan called over his shoulder, still slicing at the wall.
“I’m fine,” I snapped, pulling myself back to my feet. It was hard to stand up again because the chairs shifted and I couldn’t get a good spot to push myself up from. Plus, if I were honest, I had landed on something pokey that jabbed me in the ribs hard enough to make breathing hard for a second, but no one needed to know that. They’d just worry about me and we didn’t have the time for that.
“Hurry!” Ororo shouted at Logan.
“You wanna try it?” Logan snapped back angrily. Ororo rolled her eyes at him.
“Umm, guys?” I swallowed hard as I watched a mass of plants swell up through the hole in the office floor. “That doesn’t look good,” 
“Where are Jean and Scott?” Rouge asked.
“Want your friends back?” The voice sounded like three or four of Malachi all speaking at once. I felt my stomach drop. Wherever his mutations were made him look like a monster now. All glowing bits and the wrong colors. “Have them back!” 
Suddenly another couple of vines burst through the floor and flung two bodies at us. They both slid to a stop in front of me and Ororo. 
“Scott! Jean!” Ororo cried out. They both got to their feet and dusted themselves off.
“Hey guys, the elevator here sucks,” Scott coughed. Jean smacked his arm. “What?” 
“We need to get out of here,” Jean told him as though that wasn’t already obvious. 
“Trying to, but this wall is really persistent,” Logan grumbled.
“The vines are trying to protect him,” Jean said. “Which means they’ll only let him through,” 
“And that helps us… how exactly?” I demanded, watching as Malachi and his vines moved closer. If he moved slowly to toy with us or to give us time to realize how futile fleeing turned out to be, I didn’t know. I was more confused as to how things had gone so far south so fast. Malachi had seemed reasonable enough…right until he started glowing.
“Like this,” Jean held up her hands and Malachi’s advance froze. “Logan?” Jean asked in the same tone of voice she’d use for the most mundane requests.
“Yeah?” He sounded skeptical of this whole situation. 
“Go stand by the girls please,” Jean nodded towards Ororo, Rouge, and I. Logan raised an eyebrow but took the three steps he needed to clear the doorway. Jean turned and thrust her arms out.
With a multilayered scream, Malachi and his chunk of vines blasted their way through the blockaded door. 
I peered through the opening long enough to assess that Malachi was down for at least a few moments, and before anyone else said anything, I moved to push Ororo and Rouge, the closest two to me still, out the door.
“Time to go!” I shouted. The others all agreed and the six of us bolted out into the afternoon sun, back out into the impossible field of flowers. 
We could hear Malachai groaning as we hurried past. Maybe we should have checked on him, or arrested him, or something? But we were all too ready to be back on the jet. We could come back for him another day, much more prepared for him.
“Why do I always park so far away?” I complained as we moved through the field. Everyone else was what felt like miles ahead of me and I could distinctly hear Malachi and his vines moving behind us. I risked looking over my shoulder and almost instantly tripped over my feet and crash landed into an entire bush of flowers. 
I heard the stems break under my body and something in me lamented that I’d killed such a beautiful plant. But then I noticed why I had actually tripped. The vines were under the ground now, wiggling their way between the plants so as to not disturb them.
“Y/N!” Someone shouted my name and it felt so far away. The flowers that lay crushed on the ground beneath me looked like white chrysanthemums, each flowerhead the size of my fist, only they had red stamin sticking out of them. They were so beautiful, but also alien to me.
“Just go!” I shouted back, getting to my feet. “The vines are underground!” I added. I noticed then that the mound of vines that had held Malachi had disappeared. 
And there Malachi stood where we’d left him, still as a statue, as a breeze rushed through. The wind kicked up dust from around what might have been a million different flowers. I felt the fine powder get whipped against my face and closed my eyes against what felt like the tiniest grains of sand. I coughed, knowing it was surely in my lungs too. 
When I opened my eyes and looked at Malachi standing there in the distance, he was tousled and dirty, but also looked almost exactly the same as when we first saw him. He didn’t move to follow or attack us anymore.
And his eyes were no longer glowing as he stared blankly after us.
I caught up with the others just as they got the jet’s door open. It always took such a terribly long time to let the ramp down when we closed it, which was why we usually left it open for a quicker getaway. But since no one was sitting with our only ride home, we decided to be more careful and close it for once.
“Move, move, move,” Logan’s voice was loud as he ushered everyone on board. I noticed that the front of his uniform had the same fine dust that had pelted me in the face after I’d tripped. I probably wouldn’t have noticed had it not been for the fact that Jean had left a barely there handprint in the powder on his chest when she touched him as she climbed on board the ship.
It always annoyed me when she did that to him. Jean had literally married Scott less than six months ago and yet she still touched Logan like they were maybe more than friends. Not that it was any of my business, but leave the poor man alone.
Nevermind the green thing in me that wished I was allowed to touch his chest like that.
Scott was flipping switches to turn on the jet as I crested the ramp. I counted that we had everyone on board and hit the button to close up the hatch again.
“Well, that wasn’t great,” I complained, moving to the captain’s chair and shooing Scott from the controls. When I sat down I noticed that my chest felt funny, like I’d been holding my breath too long. And I was really warm, like maybe I was getting a fever.
“Scott?” Jean’s voice was worried and of course, her husband came running to her. I tried to tune them out while I finished the sequences to get us fully airborne. 
“Something’s off, something doesn’t feel right,” Jean was almost babbling. I had to focus on getting us safely into the clouds, so I didn’t notice the change things took until I heard Logan swear.
“What the fuck you two?” His anger made me turn in time to see Jean straddling Scott’s lap while she kissed him. Clearly with tongue. 
“I… I need you,” Jean stammered into Scott’s throat. Scott seemed to be under the influence of whatever nonsense had its hold on her too, as he was not trying to stop her from kissing him, nor from grinding down on his lap. When she moved up, his suit was clearly struggling to contain whatever it was he kept in his pants. 
“Guys!” I snapped.
“Can’t…stop,” Scott panted. “Need you,” The second part was directed at Jean. I scoffed out loud and turned back to the controls because I really needed to get us to the altitude to use the autopilot. It took all of two minutes max, but with the idea of what was happening behind me fresh and spiky in my mind, it made it feel like a hell of a lot longer.
And my head was feeling strange, like maybe I was getting a migraine or something.
I could hear a scuffle and some moaning as Logan tried to break apart the lovebirds. 
“Don’t make me shoot you,” Scott’s voice was low and a kind of menacing that I didn’t know he was capable of. 
“You wouldn’t risk bringing this entire jet down just to get your rocks off,” Logan was clearly struggling with someone else while he snapped at Scott. 
“MMm,” Jean’s voice moaned. “Logan,” I stood then and punched the button for auto pilot with my entire fist.
“What the actual fuck is going on back there?” I demanded turning to face them. Jean was trying to rub herself on Logan, begging for any sort of friction while he did his best to keep her at arms length. I felt a sharp hit of anger and jealousy ricochet around my ribs. It was stronger than any such similar feelings I’d had before and I was confused as to why I suddenly wanted to grab Logan and pull him behind me.
Or under me.
Shaking that thought from my head, I tried to ignore the heat on my face.
“Need Scott,” Jean said, sounding like she’d forgotten what syllables were. “Or Logan,” she purred his name in a way that made me want to jump out the window. Logan shoved her back at Scott, who happily caught her.
“Both of you knock it off,” Logan reprimanded them as though they were children. But when he turned to look at me, it was obvious that part of the reason he’d shoved Jean off was because whatever it was that had affected them was doing something to him too. “Fuck,” The curse was quieter and more to himself as he shivered.
“Is it actually getting really hot in here?” Rouge’s voice was shaky as she asked. 
“I think we were drugged,” Ororo managed. She had a light sheen of sweat forming along her brow as she watched Scott and Jean making out like teenagers. Her eyes were stuck to them as though looking away would be a crime.
“How? When?” Logan snapped. He looked a bit twitchy, standing too close to the lovebirds. “You two need to fucking stop,” Irritated both for good reason, and for the uncomfortable pressure that was forming in his chest.
“Storm?” Rouge questioned as Ororo put her hand on her thigh, far higher up than was normal for either of them.
“Marie, since when do you smell so nice?” 
“Ok, I am not dealing with this,” I said, feeling a weird mix of fear, anxiety, and heat blooming in my chest. “Everyone, it’s nap time,” I decided all at once. I had no idea if I could hold more than one person at a time, but if ever there was a need to…
“You taste sweeter than sugar, honey,” I felt the blood rush to my ears and to my stomach as I registered the Ororo and Rouge had just kissed. I had to physically push Logan out of my way so I could make a direct path to the original problem… Jean and Scott, who were about three seconds from peeling off their suits.
I grabbed each of them by the back of their neck, as if scruffing a misbehaving pair of puppies, and pulled them apart. They both looked up at me in shock for a moment before falling back together, limp and frozen in time.
“Secure them in their seats please,” I commanded Logan as I made my way over to Ororo and Rouge. Logan finally moved to do as I asked and I wondered if he was feeling the same wobbly feeling I was as I stopped in front of the next pair of us.
“Yes ma’am,” Logan purred and I ignored that wave of want that his graveled voice pulled through me.
Ororo and Rouge at least appeared to be trying not to cause a scene, but they were eyefucking quite openly. And their hands were wandering.
“It hurts in my chest,” Ororo told me as I pulled her hand off Rouge’s thigh. Rouge whimpered at the loss, but had steeled herself for at least the moment. “Like I need to touch her or I’ll die,” she sounded so scared. I broke my heart because I didn’t know what was going on and so I couldn’t help her. Or my other friends.
“We’ll get you home and Hank will know what to do,” I assured her. The best I could think of.
She buckled herself into her seat as Rouge reached for her arm, begging for contact again. I pressed my fingers against Ororo’s cheek and her eyes went hazy and she went limp, her seatbelts holding her upright.
I had never figured out why some people froze more solidly than others. Logan always seemed to keep his feet when frozen, but almost everyone else turned into noodles. I turned to Rouge who was looking at Ororo with a sort of pained look that I couldn’t place. It was somewhere near lust, of course, but there was something that spoke of fear in it too. I wondered if either of them had lusted for a woman before.
“I promise, I’ll release y’all as soon as I can, so please don’t fight me,” I told her. I wasn’t particularly southern, but y’all was something I’d picked up from someone and never managed to put back down. I touched her face carefully and she laid back in her seat, her hand still resting on Ororo’s arm.
“How are you so calm?” Logan demanded through clenched teeth. I could feel my heart beating at a higher rate than normal, but if Logan thought I was calm, he didn’t realize that. Which was good, he didn’t need to worry about me.
Also alarming because usually he could tell when someone’s heart was racing (and he’d teased me about it more than once).
“I was hoping you weren’t being affected,” I groaned. My head felt full of cotton, like everything was in a soft focus and there was tea waiting for me when I sat down, that kind of feeling. 
“All I can smell is them,” He growled, taking a step towards me.
“Sit down and buckle up,” I told him, my voice a bit shaky. There was a terrible ache between my thighs, like someone had scooped out my insides and were about to carve me like a pumpkin.
Logan stepped closer and for a second I thought he was going to listen. If I had them all held, maybe it would be easier. Maybe I could focus on holding them still instead of the fact I really wanted to know if Logan’s tongue tasted like cigars or not.
I bet it did.
“I want to smell you,” Logan’s pupils were blown beautifully wide. “And only you,” he was staring down at me like I was the only thing in the entire universe. I wished it was true, that he felt that way about me. But I knew it was whatever we’d been covered with. I knew it wasn’t real.
“Sit down,” My voice was weaker than I wanted it to be.
“Why can’t I smell you?” He was almost just talking to himself, annoyed that he could smell everyone else’s arousal over mine.
I walked backwards towards the captain’s and copilot's chair, pleased that Logan followed. But I wasn’t quick enough and he managed to get his hands on my hips. I brought my hands up between us, pushing him away.
But he was always so much stronger than me, so I struggled to get any space between us. Besides, as soon as he was in my space, something in me really wanted to drown in him instead. Consequences be damned.
“If I drop you here, I can’t lift your heavy… heavy ass off the floor,” I panted as he leaned down to inhale deeply at my throat. I surprised myself at the whimper that left me when he placed the first open mouth kiss at the only skin exposed on my neck over my suit.
“Fuck,” He moaned so low in his chest I could feel it vibrate in mine. “Let me just… just touch you for a second,” 
“Logan, it’s not real,” I told him. It didn’t ease the ache in my gut but it helped keep my mind clear. Plus there were four different strings already pulling my brain tight. I was wildly, uncomfortably aroused, but I wasn’t about to lose control just because the man I had a crush on was kissing my neck.
When did he unzip the top of my suit to get to more skin?
“Please,” He moaned against my throat again. ���Just one kiss, then I’ll behave, promise.” 
“I don’t believe you,” I murmured, trying desperately to push him away. But it felt so nice to have him like this. It was something I’d thought about far more times than I’d ever admit to anyone. And my hand was in his hair.
But it wasn’t real, he didn’t really want me. 
Why would he? 
“Y/N,” Logan groaned as his hands moved to find my chest. I gasped at the sensation of his warm hand covering one of my breasts. I wanted so badly to surrender to the feeling, to let him touch and feel and devour me whole.
But I knew it wasn’t real, and that hurt differently enough that I finally got my last two working brain cells together to push him off.
“Fuck, Logan, sit your punkass down,” I snapped, feeling tears in my throat. It would be so much easier to give in. To at least feel something good for once. To finally figure out what it would feel like to be with him.
But it wasn’t real, wasn’t real, wasn’t real… and I knew I would hate myself when it was over if I gave in now.
Logan gave me a sassy smirk, watching me breathing hard as a reaction to him and what he’d done. 
“Don’t you feel it too?” 
“I don’t feel anything,” I lied. The snap of my words seemed to surprise him, but only deterred him long enough for me to sit myself in the Captain’s chair and buckle in. “Now, don’t touch me,” I commanded him. I knew if he touched me too much I’d give in. That at some point, the effects would overwhelm me too. Best to keep him away.
“No,” He growled. “Wanna smell you, wanna touch you, wanna fuck you,” His eyes were so hazy and it made my center pulse with need and that empty, endless ache. But the endless ache was an old friend, I’d sat with her before. I could sit with her now too.
“I need to call the mansion,” I told him. 
Maybe ignoring him would help keep him at bay. I knew it wouldn’t. Even without the nonsense going on, he’d never been a particularly good listener unless he wanted to be. 
And he sure didn’t want to be right now. 
“Don’t interrupt or I’ll not let you smell me ever again,” I told him. This seemed to work better as he sat cross legged next to me on the floor, perked up like a dog waiting for a bone after having done a trick. I felt a wave of lust wash over me at his eagerness to please me. My core ached, knowing he’d gladly lap me up for his reward.
“Did you find it?” Charle’s voice over the radio should have been a relief but it made me angry because it wasn’t the right voice. But I bit back my annoyance and tried to respond coherently.
“We’re flying back.” My voice was choppy as I took too many breaths. “I have everyone but Logan frozen, we…we were dosed with something,” 
“Y/N,” Logan grumbled impatiently.
“What’s happening?” 
“Umm…” I suddenly was too embarrassed to say what was going on. 
“Y/N? Is everyone alright?” The alarm in Charles’ voice snapped my brain cells together with enough force I was able to manage one sentence.
“They’re trying to fuck each other,”
“Oh.” The embarrassment would have killed me had Logan not gotten impatient and started sniffing along my leg, pressing open mouth kisses along the seams of my pants. I swatted at him, trying to get him to knock it off. He just smirked and kept pressing, glad to at least have my hand in his hair.
“I have them frozen, but Logan…” My voice got caught in my throat as Logan moved to bury his face in my hip, nuzzling and smelling his way up my ribs until his face was in my armpit. “Jesus fuck, knock it off,” I whined like a kid who was late for nap time. All upset and no anger. I felt tears in my eyes and in my throat because this was all simply Too Much. 
“Are you safe to get everyone home?” Charles redirected. I grabbed Logan’s face and glowered at him.
“Take a nap,” I told him and tried to snag him in my powers. It worked but he was frozen with an arm across my lap and his face trying to find a way into my suit. “Sorry, I had to freeze Logan too, but he’s harder to hold onto.” I tried to keep my words even. But I could feel all five of them now, like trying to hold onto the strings of too many balloons but only with my teeth. 
“Y/N, can you fly everyone home?” 
“Yeah, I think so. Best prepare them for us, tell Hank it was Malachi Mitchelle, maybe that’ll help.” Logan’s string slipped in my mental grip and he growled as he pulled himself free.
“Gotta go,” Logan said loud enough for Charles to hear as he sat up on his knees to turn off the radio connection. “Now, you,” His eyes were hungry and his gaze made my insides twist with want.
“Logan, please just stop,” I begged. I was specifically trying not to feel anything for him, to not let him do something he’d regret later. I knew he didn’t want this. At the moment, I’m not sure any of us really did.
“No,” He challenged me. Logan’s hands traced my body, one moved around to the inside of my thigh and inched its way closer to my center. He held my eyes, daring me to tell him I didn’t want this.
But this wasn’t about what I wanted.
“It’s not real, you don’t want this,” I felt those tears again, warm in my throat and stinging behind my eyes. He looked up at me and brushed the tears from one of my cheeks with his thumb.
“No, I do want this… I’m always gonna… never going to stop,” He was breathing heavily but smirking. My center pulsed and squeezed around nothing because dammit all if that wasn’t exactly what I wanted to hear.
Logan’s smirk got lost when he buried his face into the crease made by my leg and hip. He breathed in the scent of me again and the moan that escaped him had my heart ricocheting in my chest. 
“Never going to get enough of the smell of you.” I found my hands in his hair, fingers intertwined in his tuffs as if I had the strength to pull him away from my lap.
“Why?” I asked more as a general question, ‘why is this happening to me?’ or ‘why do I bother trying to be good?’ or maybe even a bit of ‘why would you say that to me?’
“Cuz I love you,” Logan murmured against my stomach. I looked down at him, that ache in my pelvis shimming at the closeness of him. But the ache in my chest? That longing for something real? It burned brighter. I knew he wasn’t trying to tease me this time and somehow that made it worse. 
While influenced he probably thought he was telling the truth.
I couldn’t take it when I knew the fall would come when this madness passed. The look in his eyes when he realized ‘oh god, what have I done?’.
I felt tears in my throat again. I wished what he said was true, that his ardent behavior was stemming from somewhere real and true. But it wasn’t.
It simply wasn’t.
I grabbed his face in one hand, the other still in his hair, and squeezed his cheeks together while he looked at me like he never wanted to look at anything else.
“Go the fuck to sleep, you petulant child,” I ground out, all the anger in me aimed at myself and the fact that I had to deny myself this wonderful thing. This thing my body craved.
This time, Logan’s eyes went hazy and blank, his jaw went slack, and his limbs all buckled under him. I finally had him wound tight enough to hold. 
But now I had to hold him, and the other four, for the next 43 and half minutes. Which was the expected time remaining, according to the flight data that flashed on one of the panels. I had no idea if I could hold on to everyone that long, especially Logan who was too good at shaking off my powers.
[Masterlist]
[Logan Masterlist]
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stargazedwinchester · 8 months ago
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Soft Sounds | Dean
Summary: Dean mocks you for listening to nature sounds/lo-fi music while you sleep.
Based off of this request here, thank you! <3
Word count: 996
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♱⁺. ⋆˙✧⋆✧˙⋆⊹.♱
Sleeping with any sort of noise has always been so comforting for you, having to live with the loud sounds of the world, all of the trauma you've endeavoured keeps you awake at night, memories creeping back from the most horrific times in your life.
You bought yourself your own little white noise machine a week ago, it makes multiple different sounds, and your favourites are lo-fi music and rain/thunder sounds. It's not every night that you have to use this, though, but it really does help. Especially with sleeping alone, your brain loves to play tricks on you during your quietest hours.
Tonight, you turn on your machine, clicking the button on top to change which sound you'd prefer to hear tonight. Your door is slightly ajar, knowing that the brothers were in the kitchen sharing a couple of beers and catching up. You had already told them you're going to have an early night for once and try to catch up on a lot of sleep you've missed out on recently. Doing this could probably help your awful sleep schedule.
You change into your pyjamas, a t-shirt and shorts combo that you threw on from the night before. Trying to look good while you slept is never the first thought since you literally live with two men who couldn't give any less of a crap, also, you're not dating either of them. You climb into bed and throw the covers over you, moving your hair out of your face, and lay on your side. Scrolling through your phone, you try to focus on the sounds coming from your machine, and within minutes, you're knocked out.
♱⁺. ⋆˙✧⋆✧˙⋆⊹.♱
As Sam and Dean call it a night, Sam stays to watch a movie in the main room, whilst Dean makes his way down toward the bedrooms. He notices your bedroom door is still slightly open, and he assumes you're awake.
"Hey, Y/-" He pauses, seeing you're fast out with your phone screen lit up, the lights still on and some noise coming from a weird-looking radio. He frowns, not knowing what is going on. He very quietly makes his way into your bedroom, and locks your phone, placing it on your bedside table. He dims the lights as he pads on over to your radio. "What the Hell is this?" He asks himself, keeping his voice just above a whisper. He glances at the tiny screen that presents what's playing. "She sleeps to this?" He scoffs, and a small grin appears on his face. He looks back at you, huffing. "This is such a Y/N thing to have." He says, standing back up and glancing over at you. Why would she ever own something like this? He thought to himself. It's stupid.
Your positioning in bed makes Dean chuckle to himself. You quite literally take up the whole bed, sprawled out like a starfish. It's mostly funny to him because of how cute you look when you're completely conked out. Your hair in your face, your shirt slightly riding up your torso from the amount of times you've tried to get comfy. "Hold on, is that my shirt?" He laughs quietly, admiring how natural you are.
Dean usually goes for the typical blonde, blue-eyed type of girl. The ones that show that they know they're sexy, that they can get any man they desire, but you - you were different. You never gave a damn about how you looked. If someone liked you, you'd make sure they get every single side of you, every single flaw and weakness. Having Dean see you completely barefaced and look like you just collapsed on your bed was the least of your worries.
Dean's gaze hovers over you for another minute or so, he catches himself smiling, noticing how comfy you are. You shuffle, which scares him a little, panicking that you're going to wake up to him watching you sleep.
"Dean?"
"Y-yeah?" He whispers, taking his hands out of his pockets.
"What are you doing in here?" You groan, wiping your hair out of your face, barely opening your eyes. "I um, heard your little radio thing and... I got curious." He says, an awkward smile appearing on his full lips. He reaches up and scratches the back of his head. You hum quietly in agreement with what he said. Whether Dean understood or not, it didn't matter. "Are you staying?" You mumble, shuffling yourself to the side to make more room. You quietly pat the side of the bed, inviting Dean to join you.
His heart skipped a beat. Sharing a bed with the only girl who genuinely liked him for him? It's almost unbelievable.
"Are you sure? I can go back to my room-"
"Dean, just get in." You say, pulling the covers open for him. His eyes lit up and the smile on his face looked as if it had been slapped on. He takes off his flannel shirt revealing his dark grey t-shirt underneath, and also taking his jeans off down to his underwear. He gently sits down on your bed, ensuring there's still enough space for you. He keeps his space, though, not wanting to give any wrong ideas. "Why were you looking at my machine?" You say, and Dean grins. "It looks weird. Why do you sleep with it?"
"It's to help me sleep."
"It's to help me sleep," He mocks, shutting his eyes. "Just sleep in silence, it's not that hard." He adds, and you huff. "So funny." You grin, slowly moving closer toward him. "It's nice though, really nice..." He trails, his eyes are fully shut, and his body is relaxing. "Come here," He says, adjusting himself so he's lying slightly above you, and you move in to lay on his chest, your leg intertwined with his. He keeps his arm rested above his head, his other hand caressing your hair. "This is nice," He mumbles, almost instantly drifting to sleep.
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stagefoureddiediaz · 2 months ago
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We’ve been looking at this all wrong the entire time...
So my brain is a weird place that I don’t fully understand, but sometimes it connects dots and I figure something out that has been staring us in the face the entire time! Lets just say it explains so many things - right down to the very pointed use of tommy calling Buck Evan!
This all stemmed from me looking at colour theory and costuming for Buck and Eddie (and by extension Tommy) season 7 again, because I was going to try write the buddie costume metas for episodes 9 and 10 that I never managed to get done before we started season 8 I will hopefully get to those posts, but this post - while technically about Tommy and his costumes (yes me ant Tommy person writing a post on him I know!) it does also look at the costuming for Buck and to a lesser extent Eddie more widely across the season and what the colours used actually mean - getting some distance and some time on the season has been a blessing!
Im not going to go into it in detail, but, broadly speaking the show has given each character a signature colour - this doesn’t mean they wear it all of the time - but they do wear it a lot of the time and especially in key scenes - characters can have more than one key/ signature colour, and it can change and develop over time. We can ignore season 1 because it was a pilot season and very often shows won’t choose to establish a signature colour for a character (911 s1 is all over the place from a costuming perspective - because they had several designers working across the 10 episodes but since s2 we’ve had much more continuity with Alayna Bell-Price at the helm for most of it). So for example Athena’s signature colour is mostly black with white and khaki green also in the mix. She’s moved away from that subsequently - wearing less black and more white/creams but both colours are still staples of her wardrobe.
Eddie we all know mirrors Athena from a costuming perspective - his signature colours are also black and khaki green with some white/cream as well. The khaki green was much more dominant than the black to begin with - which played into his military past -  that had evened out on the black and khaki front whilst the cream had stayed fairly steady, but now we’re also starting to see a little bit more of it as well as some darker blues. this mirrors Athenas own journey t healing - the more she heals the less Khaki we see and the more white/cream - Eddie is starting to follow the same path from a costume perspective. 
Bucks signature colour has always been blue, but he also wears a fair amount of yellow and grey, so those are his three colours. He obviously wears a lot of other colours, especially white, but white has its own specific use in Bucks costumes that sits separately from his signature colours. 
We all know about yellow/ blue and green blue colour theory - I’ve gone on about it enough (especially yellow blue colour theory and its queer coding) and others such as @lover-of-mine have as well. Well both yellow/blue and green/blue continued to play out in season 7, I’m not going to go into them in too much detail - there are posts on my pinned post that cover that much better and I want to get to the good stuff (and I know you all do too!) 
We do need to remember that Buck and Eddie very very rarely wear blue and green in scenes together - if Eddie is in green Buck won’t be in blue, and vice versa - this is because of the ties to blue/green being Buck and Eddies break up colours - the colours they wear opposite their respective girlfriends when the relationships are ending. This is a little less set for Eddie - who actually wears white/cream much more when he’s ending relationships than blue or green - but the one time he has actively done the breaking up he was in green.
As I was starting to do a bit of work on the 7x9 and 7x10 metas, I ended up going back and looking over the Buck and Eddie costumes for the season as a whole, and how Tommy fit into all of that as well - as we’ve all been billing him as Eddie lite.
While I do still think there is an element of Tommy being Eddie lite, I don’t actually think that is what the show has been doing -that concept is a bit of a red herring. I’m sorry that this is likely to get a bit convoluted and wordy - but my brain is  still reeling and incoherent so bear with me - I hope it all makes sense.
Right this post is super long so the rest is going below the cut! I hope you enjoy!
Because I was looking for Eddie and Tommy parallels in the costuming for the season, I had been looking at the choice to put Eddie in red/black for his dinner date with Kim and Buck being in green for the scene at Bucks loft, and the fact that back in 7x04 Tommy had been dressed in the same colours - a red henley which was shot with black giving it a red/black colour way. I naturally started looking at the other Eddie - Tommy costume parallels - and there are plenty - lots of the khaki green we see Eddie in - playing into Tommys own military background.
These are Tommy’s scenes - where he wasn’t in uniform of some description (which is a good chunk of his scenes to be fair) 
7x04 
at the hangar - white tee, greenish stone coloured shirt and a tan jacket with stonewash jeans
at the court - light grey marl cut off hoodie and bright blue shorts
at Bucks loft - red/black short sleeve henley and stone wash jeans
7x05
at the restaurant -dark khaki green shirt (I would also like to point out the blue green colour theory here with the addition of tommy having a blue phone case - which is relevant later I promise!)
coffee meet up - light grey henley and navy blue hoodie with mid wash jeans
7x06
karaoke club - navy blue short sleeved henley
7x10
light grey marl tee and greenish denim shirt 
So what you can see from this is that besides the use of henley’s, the only time we get actually get direct reference to Eddies costuming is through the use of khaki green and his first outfit at the hangar. There is of course the direct parallel of the red/black colour way I spoke of before, but, beyond that if you look you’ll see that Tommys outfits actually parallel Bucks far far more. I would even argue the Henley’s are more similar to Buck than Eddie - because they are short sleeved and Eddies are invariably long sleeved.
Bucks colours are blue and grey - and so are Tommy’s - particularly in scenes that are 1-1 with Buck. What I’m trying to get at and will explain is that this has never ever been about Tommy being Eddie lite - this is all about Tommy being Buck - Buck’s subconscious if you will. (I know you all this I’m completely mad at this point - but stick with me!) I have a lot to say about all of this which will explain the why of it all and how we ended up here so we’re going to go through it Tommy costume by Tommy costume!
Lets start with the hangar scene - the most Eddie like Tommy looks throughout the entire season. this is very much intentional - this is about the red herring of it all, but it is also about Eddie (I’m not discrediting anything we’ve talked about regarding Tommy being Eddie lite etc - it is all relevant - but that’s what makes it such a good red herring!) and about Buck being an unreliable narrator. This is in part why we also still see Buck in his too short trousers and his white sneakers. This is his journey (the sneakers), but he’s still trapped in his old self at this moment in time - but aware that he doesn’t fit his skin anymore (as an aside I will be writing a post about Bucks trousers and their changing fit throughout the seasons at some point soon!)
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Script wise the key lines are plentiful - the entire scene is full of double meaning. We get Buck stating that he is ‘happy where he’s at’ and Tommy’s response of ‘you’re thinking of changing things up’. viewed through the idea that Tommy is a version of Buck, this then plays out as an internal conflict - a battle about wanting what you already have - being happy with what you have, but also wanting to change things.
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Eddie saying ‘you aren’t thinking of leaving us are you’ and Bucks response ‘I’m keeping my options fluid.’ Eddie needing reassurance that what they have isn’t going to change, while Bucks reply is about him not really being sure of himself - of who he is - keeping his options open because he’s figuring out if he wants to change - the line is said to and directed at Eddie so its about Buck keeping his options open about possibly changing their dynamic - becoming something more, even in the face of Eddie not wanting things to be different.  Tommy stating in this scene that Buck doesn’t need to leave the 118 to get certified to fly - that its something he could do for fun on his days off - becomes even more loaded through the internal monologue lens - Buck considering how he can stay at the 118 and have the joy, fun and benefits of ‘flying’ when he isn’t at work - that he could fly with Eddie (Eddie going flying with Tommy to do something fun and date like is a very literal visual metaphor for Bucks internal monologue - showing him what it could be like if he changed things up). There not being three tickets - only two is also important - its again a metaphor this time about how if Buck and Eddies relationship changes - it would only change for the two of them - it would become a relationship that doesn’t have room for another in it. When I say that’s about Chris not being involved it sounds really harsh, but the reality is Chris cannot be a a part of Buddie - he cannot be a part of something romantic. it isn’t saying Chris isn’t important or central to Buck and Eddie - simply that he cannot be a factor in a romantic relationship - that has to be just between Buck and Eddie alone - its kind of about Eddie (and also to a certain extent the same is true for Buck) not being able to hide behind Chris anymore when it comes to Buck.
Fundamentally its all tied back to his death in season 6 (we even get the being struck by lightening reference from Buck just to bring that aspect home) and subsequent resurrection and rebirth  (post linked on my pinned post if anyone wants to read it!). we have to keep at the front of our minds that Buck has died and that is still playing on his mind - its still influencing who he is and who he is becoming and it was all throughout season 7 - even if it wasn’t obvious or stated.
The basketball costume is actually the one that has always stood out for me - Its the most Buck outfit of all Tommys outfits. The bright blue shorts especially. 
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So in that scene, which we know is supposed to read as being from Bucks view point, not only are we getting golden haloed super happy bouncy Eddie - Eddie the way Buck sees him -  but Buck is also projecting and seeing Tommy in the place he (Buck) has always existed in. It’s a visual representation of what Buck talked about with Maddie and Tommy replacing him in Eddies life.  Its unreliable narrator buck in visuals he’s seeing Eddie replacing him with Tommy - occupying the same places Buck has and more - from the calendar to the basketball court.
But that’s actually wonderful, because not only does it give us information on how Buck views himself (as expendable/replaceable) and how he thinks others view him - because if he thinks he’s similar to Tommy (which for a purely visual stand point he is - Lou looks more like Oliver than Ryan) but it also gives us information about the reality of how much Buck is actually intwined in Eddies (and Christophers) life - its telling us that Buck is in fact on Eddies calendar (and therefore fridge - fridge magnet theory for the win!) and how much space and conversation he occupies in the Diaz’s everyday life.
So he isn’t actually seeing Eddie in Tommy at all - he’s actually seeing the version of himself he doesn’t think he is but wants to be in Tommy. The version of himself that takes Eddie to vegas etc - that’s the Buck that Buck wants to be - the one openly flirting with Eddie and taking him on dates etc. That’s why the vegas fight is so seemingly ott (especially when you think about the fact Tommy and Eddie have known each other a week or so at most by this point) its the grand gesture Buck wishes he could be making.
All of this also makes Bucks ‘attack on Eddie’ more telling (it’s still the boy pulling the girl he likes pig tails in the playground concept) because Eddie is being receptive to all of these advances by Tommy - adding further weight to the Buck being jealous of and threatened by Tommy. 
Tommy is this version of Buck swooping in and doing all this stuff that Buck wants to be doing (subconsciously still at this point - willful ignorance be winning) but either didn’t know how to or didn’t know Eddie if would be receptive to. Remembering that this is all Bucks viewpoint of things its essentially Bucks brain showing him what dating Eddie would be like and Buck being Buck misunderstands what his brain is telling him (forever misunderstanding the assignment).
There is a second aspect to this and it ties into Tim’s comments about the hamster wheel Buck has a been stuck on and it being time he got off it - the hamster wheel is actually multifaceted and has more than one meaning. The most important is that the hamster wheel hasn’t ever been about his relationships or about the women he’s dating (or men now). The hamster wheel he’s stuck on is actually the fact that he’s built this strong relationship and family with Eddie and Chris - (you don’t find it son you make it) and its something safe and stable and predictable in his life. Getting off that hamster wheel is about being brave and moving that relationship - that family dynamic onto the next level - removing the platonic aspect of their family and making it a fully formed family for real - romantic love and all - so the ‘platonic’ family is the hamster wheel he actually needs to get off of. 
The other aspect of Tommy actually being Buck and the hamster wheel of it all is that hamster wheels are solitary pursuits - the implication is that Buck is the one standing in his own way - and coming back to the basketball game we see that played out in the moment where Buck tries to literally run through Tommy - only you can’t act out at yourself, and Tommy is a literal solid unmoving barrier and Buck won’t get past himself by just trying to bulldoze his way through.
This all then plays into the final Buck and Tommy scene of the episode - in bucks loft. I already spoke above about the red/black of it all, but now with the added concept of Tommy being A version of Buck things start to become more interesting. The red/black of it all is a warning (and the poker date red/black velvet suit and eddies red and black suit from s6 actually play into this as well!) - its dark romance - ‘forbidden’ dangerous romance or love. So for Eddie and his date with Kim that meaning is very self explanatory. The two season 6 suits are also fairly self explanatory - for Eddie again its the dangers of looking for romance that isn’t on your own terms and for Buck at the poker game its about the danger of falling in love with the person you are when you aren’t being truly yourself. Tommy being a version of Buck and this concept is a little more murky - essentially is about a similar thing to his poker suit - with a twist - its about the danger of seeing more value and loving a version of yourself that ‘used to exist’ as well as a version of yourself that you think will make you more attractive to others.
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We do also need to Talk about Bucks costume here as well - the fact that it fits him almost perfectly - he’s in well fitted if slightly loose jeans and a navy shirt that isn’t tight with buttons not clinging on for dear life (to the same extent). The colouring is still on the dark side - so its not entirely positive - much in the same way that other scenes with buck in a dark navy shirt are moments where things go a bit askew for Buck (think the  taylor ‘I kinda love you for it’ scene from s5 as an example). The implication is that - before Tommy comes along Buck is at his most content with who he is - he’s fitting into his skin better than he has in a long while but it’s not perfect. This is key, firstly because of how the scene unfolds and secondly, because of how he is then costumed from here on out for the rest of the season.
I do also want to mention the yellow blue colour coding in this scene and that is mostly done through the lighting - Buck is in blue and the light behind him is always yellow - he is surrounded by yellow light. In contrast - Tommy is barely touched by the yellow light - not until Buck starts to figure things out - then we get him briefly touched by the yellow light - the rest of the time he is lit very cooly - which is in contrast to the warmth of the loft - and further plays into the idea of Tommy being a stand in for Evan - Evan who isn't loved and accepted in the same way Buck is - Evan who Buck needs to learn to love.
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If we look at the script for this scene, it also fits in perfectly with the idea of Bucks internal monologue.  Tommy and Eddie being ‘buddie’s’ making perfect sense is a literal aside to the audience telling them that Buddie makes perfect sense - but it is more than that. This is where I have to bring up the ‘Evan’ of it all. I know a lot of us shudder with horror because of the fact Tommy only ever calls Buck ‘Evan’ and how both jarring and rude it is. How it shows how little Tommy knows Buck. We’ve always known it was being done intentionally. Well, if we view the use of Evan through the lens of Tommy being a version of Buck and things become clearer.  Because Tommy is basically the old version of Buck - the Buck who existed before he knew Eddie - before he joined the 118. And this is where the choice to bring back Tommy specifically for this role becomes a really smart one - because ‘Evan call me Buck Buckley’ was Tommys replacement at the 118. Tommy who has a problematic past that has never been dealt with on screen. This isn’t about the nature of the problematic past. This is the show playing on the idea of Buck’s software upgrades - before Buck 1.0 there was Evan, and using who Buck replaced at the 118 as a plot device to actually dig into Evan more so that Buck can deal with, accept and move on from Evan and become who Buck is meant to be.
Tommy saying he couldn’t replace Buck furthers this - because Buck cannot go back to being Evan - Evan can never replace Buck. invoking Christopher adds weight to this - because Chris never knew Evan - he’s only ever known Buck and Buck is ‘his Buck’ and irreplaceable. Tommy then stating his jealousy is about Evan feeling the lack of family that he grew up with - the recognition that as Buck he has made a family for himself - Bucks assertion that Tommy (Evan) was a part of it is valid - because without Evan Buck couldn’t build the family he has. The entirety of this conversation is about Buck choosing to ‘get to know’ his past (remember this is coming of the back of Buck crossing out the ‘LEY’ on his nameplate in s6 and his struggles with his parents acceptance in that season before the lightening strike), choosing to learn about Evan and embrace him as a part of Buck.  
Bucks assertion that he was ‘trying to get [Tommys] attention and it being exhausting’ is part of that as is the confusion Tommy expresses. The choice for Buck to use the word ‘exhausting’ - it’s Bucks subconscious trying to get his own attention - its his subconscious telling Buck that he’s exhausting himself by not listening to what his inner voice is saying. It’s of course a play on Buck being called exhausting by other people (and is perhaps why he doesn’t have the confidence to listen to that inner voice) and that also plays into the Evan of it all and how Buck views himself. Tommys confusion also plays into that - bucks own mind is confused - it was getting ready to ‘pursue’ Eddie but now we’re pivoting into what is essentially self love.
The continued bringing up of Eddie also makes sense with the contact of Tommy being alt Buck - because Eddie Eddie Eddie fills Bucks heart and mind - Both Evan and Buck recognise Eddies importance if not his full relevance in this moment. The resulting kiss then becomes less about Bucks bi awakening (I am not diminishing the importance of that in any way shape or form - its a vital aspect of Bucks journey) and more about Bucks decision to pursue loving himself - this ties into his statement ‘it wasn’t about me wanting to leave the 118 - it was about wanting to get to know you’ - its about Buck wanting to get to know himself - on the other side of his death and resurrection. It’s a continuation of his comments about Natalia ‘seeing him perhaps better than he sees himself’ - it’s about Buck starting to see himself better now he’s died and essentially been reborn and bout Buck now being in a place where he feels ready to confront that idea of being reborn and becoming someone new.
At the restaurant in 7x05 we have Tommy in an Eddie colour, but in a shirt that is much more Bucks style. There is also the green/blue colour play with Tommy stating Buck isn’t ready and Tommys ‘mismatched’ clothing bears that up - the play is on Bucks lingering confusion and uncertainty about what he wants - is it the Eddie side of things we’re pursuing the self love of Evan aspect we’re looking to explore? The entire scene is not just about Bucks first ‘date with a dude’ its also about Bucks fumbled attempts at self love - at not getting it right - its why Bucks outfit doesn’t fit him- why they’re now too big and baggy (I wrote about this in my costume meta for that episode - which like all the other costume posts can be found linked on my pinned post).  The innuendo about closets and Buck going into masculine bro mode is as much about his nervousness about being on a date with Tommy and being seen as it is about the fact that a man practicing self love is still taboo and so often met with derision - hiding that you are pursuing that is a kin to hiding queerness - at the start - until you get to a good place with it.
We side step into the Buck and Eddie loft scene briefly to look at Bucks confession to Eddie - I could write a whole thing on Eddies acceptance of Buck and its importance - but that is for a different post that isn’t already a million words long! what I want to mention in this scene is the why Buck can’t stop thinking about Tommy of it all - how it is essentially establishing the idea that Buck is starting to listen to himself.  He can’t stop thinking about Tommy because it isn’t Tommy he can’t stop thinking about it’s actually himself - Evan - in a learning to love himself and embrace who he is and was kind of way - all being done through a bi lens. it is essentially about Buck doing the thing he needs to do to be ready for a forever relationship with Eddie - which is love and accept himself - all of himself and acknowledging that to Eddie.
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Buck switches back to better fitting clothes for the coffee date - and tommy is now dressed back in Buck colours and no trace of anything resembling Eddie in sight - making it clear that Buck has chosen to pursue himself. To get himself to the place he needs and wants to be first - the line about not knowing what it is he’s ready for but being ready for something is key - its a very self love line, but it also puts a very clear time frame on things - it makes it clear that Tommy is not endgame - because Bucks choosing self love and embracing and understanding ‘Evan’ isn’t his end game but a part of his bigger journey - a part of becoming who he needs to be to achieve what he actually wants - to get him to his endgame.
Then we have the Karaoke - brief scene(s). There isn’t really a huge amount in these scenes. But I do want to point out two things - the awkwardness of Buck and Tommys hug - and how that plays into the tentative nature of Bucks self love journey - and also Eddies behaviour towards Tommy - and the way it was very very clearly a lot cooler than we saw in 7x04.
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We all jumped on the Petty Eddie train - and I agree there is an element of that. But - there is also the fact we are not seeing that scene through Bucks eyes - its through external eyes and we are therefore seeing the actual reality of Eddie and Tommys friendship - in that it isn’t this heightened date like - flirty new love type relationship - its simply two people who are loosely friends. Its remarkably normal and no threatening - only furthering the entire purpose of 7x04 being from Bucks viewpoint and Tommy being an alt Buck rather than an alt Eddie. It also therefore serves to further establish the Buddie of it all (but we all already knew that!). Tommy is still in Buck colours and the short sleeved henley is still something I would put more into the Buck costume camp than the Eddie one - especially in this season! 
The final Tommy scene and costume is the date at Bucks loft and the conversation about daddy kink. I still don’t like this scene (which has a lot more to do with execution and the script than the actual daddy kink of it all) but I am much more sanguine about it now that I understand what it is setting up.
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Bear with me here I probably won’t make sense, but with the knowledge that Tommy is actually buck lite - a less good and developed version buck (Evan and in part the version of Buck that Buck himself thinks he is) the daddy kink scene actually becomes about setting up Buck addressing his past and his actual real daddy issues - because bucks past self sees his worth in those issues and without them it means both Evan and Buck have no worth. Buck confronting and dealing with them and choosing to forgive and move on means the end of Buck and Tommy because Tommy is no longer needed - he has served his purpose and Buck would be ready to start his future - Evan stays in the past and Buck completes his rebirth and closes his lightening strike arc.
Onto Bucks season 8 journey - Bringing Gerrard in to Bucks arc rather than the others who have far more connection to Gerrard now begins to make much more sense. Tommys past under Gerrard actually echoes Bucks past - in different ways and to vastly different degrees, but the parallel is there.  S1 Buck being a play boy and sleeping around and not treating women especially well (objectifying them etc) because of his own hang ups - is a pale echo of Tommy being closeted and racist sexist and homophobic under Gerrard. Like I said before - Buck is a pale imitation to Tommy here and that’s intentional (more in a sec) because once Tommy is under the wing of Bobby when he takes over the 118 we see him begin to grow and change. Buck follows the same pattern - Bobbys guidance pulls him away from his destructive behaviours and sets him onto the right path (Bobby is arguably the birther of Buck - Look I could write a whole thing off the back of my death and resurrection of Buck post about Bobbys role as God - the heavenly father - in Bucks life and how that is the overarching theme of Bobby and the show but I don’t have the time tbh!) to ‘redemption’.
Bucks behaviour is very intentionally not as bad as Tommys behaviour, because if Tommy is the plot device meant to essentially represent Bucks subconscious and how he views himself, then the reason we haven’t been shown Tommy atoning for any of his past sins and behaviours is because Buck hasn’t forgiven himself for his own. Buck is his own worst critic and will self flagellate to a ridiculous degree - and again with him being an unreliable narrator - he views his past indiscretions as being the equivalent of Tommys - therefore in his mind he hasn’t yet done enough to deserve absolution (Buck and Bobby being father and son in this as well!). 
Which brings me to s8 and the return of Gerrard and what Bucks arc is going to be (this is slightly incoherent and not fully formed - I’m still percolating!). Gerrard being central to Bucks arc - and Bucks push back is imo going to be about Buck taking a good look at himself and recognising/ facing up to and accepting his past. And that actually does come down to the daddy issues of it all. Because if Bobby is as good as Bucks dad - and allowed him (and his subconscious in the form of Tommy) to develop and grow - then Gerrard is Phillip Buckley (obviously a heightened more terrible version of reality in the same way Tommy is a much worse version of Buck) who parented Evan through apathy and taking the easy route - we saw Evan pushing back against Phillip in Buck Begins and being rewarded for it and thus establishing Bucks self destructive and self sacrificing pattern of behaviour. Acting out and getting hurt got him attention - so Buck acting out against Gerrard is this reduced and will ultimately have the same results just in an essentially more destructive way.  This is is a good thing - because this is about Buck recognising that he is worth and acting out etc is detrimental to him progressing as a person - its going to actively prevent his self love journey to flourish (and this is why in part I maintain my belief that Tommy is going to, if not encourage Bucks behaviour, then at least tell him to go along with Gerrard demands - for an easy life and also part of why I don’t think we’ll see a huge amount of Tommy - at least to begin with - until we get to a point where Buck is really motoring on the self love journey and getting to the point where he needs to do some pre break up face to face conversations that move him forward!).  It’s about forgiving and accepting his father for how Evan was raised - Bucks arc is going to be about forgiving himself and allowing himself to be happy, and he cannot do that if he doesn’t go through the Gerrard stuff - which is essentially a type of therapy. That’s also where I think the golf comes into it - it’s a metaphor for Buck building bridges, gaining understanding and accepting his past with his father - the metaphor of the driving range being the idea of standing side by side and performing the same thing, but landing in different places. There is also the concept of improving ones self and choosing to not repeat the mistakes of the past.
It also means the thing Tim said about Buck and Tommy becoming more comfortable with one another makes much more sense, and why he’d flip the question to talk about Eddie and about Eddie feeling a bit left out in the cold but not out in the cold! Buck is becoming more comfortable with himself and while he’s doing that and learning to be happy etc as I described above. Eddie is going to feel left out - because this is about Buck not Eddie - because it’s about Buck being ready for forever with Eddie - and Eddie ultimately cannot be a part of that journey - Buck has to do it for himself in the same way that Buck cannot help or be there while Eddie goes through his reckoning with the Catholic Church, and faiths place in his life and also dealing with the ghost of Shannon and his mother issues(because he has those and they are all set up to go in s8 - Chris being in Texas really sets that up nicely!
Bahaha Tim I’ve finally figured out your question answering methods and how they tell us all we need to know!! 
All this to say - Tommy is actually alt Buck - not Eddie lite (I mean he is still also that but it’s a bit of a red herring) he is a plot device for the biggest thing about Buck as a character and it all means Buddie here we come!
Thank you so so much if you have read this epic piece of waffle - I hope you enjoyed and I truly look forward to hearing all your thoughts on this and to you being as insane about it as I am!
Tagging some people who asked (and some who didn’t but might be interested anyway!)
@spotsandsocks @exhuastedpigeon @lover-of-mine @fruityfirehose @leothil
@bewitchedbewilderedbisexual @theladyyavilee @livingwherethesidewalkends @craigyxo
@izzysbeans @buddiediaz118 @inell @hotshotsxyz @winterskydragonx
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dreemurr-skelememer · 2 months ago
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Hello :D
I have been following you for the last year or so (a few days after I got my Tumblr lmao) and I absolutely love your art!
I have been wanting to study your art style for a while but don't really know where to start,,,
Could you please show me a small portion of your art process, if it isn't too much trouble of course. Thank you and have a nice day!
hello. oh my god. this took forever to find.
im sorry it took 2 WHOLE FUCKING MONTHS for me to respond to this but i wanted to put it off until i felt happy with my art process again, so here it is
my fall 2024 rendering tutorial!
(this will be very very long)
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FLATS AND WHATEVER YOU WANNA DO WITH LINES GIRL. then make sure to recolor the lineart to better match your base. trust me it helps, bold dark lines are Not your best friend when rendering. wait for that post-rendering
i start off with a doodle or a sketch, and then filling it in with flats and other details such as blush
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FIGURE OUT YOUR LIGHT SOURCE. FIGURE IT OUT GIRL YOU CAN DO IT you can make it as simple as possible, make it as big as possible, dont even THINK about the details.........just make it really fucking big so you at least know where the shadows and the light goes THEN add smaller shading details LISTEN TO ME. LISTEN TO ME OKAY!!!!!!!!
my key point with this is for you to learn lighting fundamentals.
it's SOOO ANNOYING but alas......they are all correct. it helps a lot.
one thing i also really want to point out is that i like creating a big shadow shape first before fixing up the little details (such as folds and whatever) because it helps me focus on the way the lighting actually works instead of tunnel vision-ing into making the shading make sense on the clothing.
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contact shadows (i dont remember if thats what theyre called okay) theyre fucking ugly because im not actually thinking sorry 💔
okay so basically:
contact shadows (if that's what they're called) are the spots in shading and lighting where light will NEVER hit.
shadows are still influenced by the colors and lights around it (it's why a blue shadow and a yellow shadow feel completely different, despite both being shadows) so it's not always COMPLETELY dark.
BUT! there are small points in shadows where light never hits, and they're almost always super dark or pitch black.
it's hard to explain shadow and light so briefly for a tutorial, but you'll notice it when watching fundamental studies and when trying it out for yourself
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YES i unclipped the multiply layer YES its ugly and terrifying but it makes coloring the multiply layer easier okay the colors merged w multiply so now it looks cool and has depth overlaying colors that actually make sense
so basically what i did was color the multiply layer that i used to shade the overall drawing
adding a band of red/orange/yellow around where the light hits, and blue where the shadows get big and wide, gives it a fake ambient occlusion effect in the way that a person would get if they stood under the sun with a clear blue sky
the colors don't have to make sense, especially because i never draw backgrounds, but coloring the shadows really help it give a sense of depth and extra subtle detail and effect that just helps make the painting look nicer
around the end, i also put in colors (in an overlay layer with a low opacity brush) that actually make sense in context of the drawing, which is the lit cigarette and the yellow eyelights
mostly because none of the colors were making sense and i needed to actually make use of the lighting that DOES exist in the drawing lol
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adding a muddy golden yellow pin light layer (opacity turned down to like 40-50%) to make the light colors less ugly lol
i SWEAR by the fucking pin light layer style. it's so useful and so so underrated.
i used an almost brown-ish gold color on stop of all the layers, and with the pin light layer, it helped make the bright (almost blue-ish) white colors more warm and more yellow. it just helps make things more warm (something i prefer)
i could probably show what it looks like without adjusting the layer opacity to truly show off what i mean (like in the coming section) but i sadly forgot to do that lol
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make a layer on top of your drawing with this color in these ranges YES the drawing is fully merged NO don't be afraid, the base was fucking ugly anyway 💔 make this layer into an exclude/exclusion layer style TRUST turn down your exclusion layer opacity from a range of 10% to 40% literally until you're happy with the contrast and the way the color over the drawing. use your eyeballs. i know you can do it im so proud of you
this is pretty self-explanatory instruction-wise, so i'll go into why i do this instead
i really like art that seems like it has low contrast, with almost mid-gray shading and lines. i don't personally use dark and bold lines and shading, unless i find it necessary for the tone of the piece, so using this method helps lower the contrast of the art and make it look "pleasantly muddy" in the way that it's easier and softer on the eyes.
the inverted blue color also helps makes things warmer!
the exclusion layer style is still a bit of a mystery to me but i really like the effect it gives, even if i don't completely get how it works lol
if you want an alternative method to this, and if you have access to it (because i primarily use sai and sai only),
i absolutely encourage you to play around and experiment with gradient maps.
there are so many out there you can make yourself or even get from others that just give the painting an extra amount of depth and color variation. they're SO fun.
personally, if sai2 gets a gradient map update, it's over for y'all it will literally be so over no one will be able to stop me
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then i merged everything and actually adjusted the contrast back up because it was looking too muddy for me 💔 but the color adjustments are still there so all hope is not lost here's a comparison of the adjusted contrast in black and white (adjusted on the left) (newly merged layer without adjusting the contrast on the right)
as you can see, i actually turned the contrast back up (despite talking all about how i liked things with less contrast lol)
i wanted to demonstrate that doing adjustments should be done in moderation, and is why i adjust layer opacity often when making color effects
you are free to play around with colors to help your style, but don't lose your initial idea and colors along the way.
you still need to trust your own colors and intuition!
along with that, i just want to say that it's completely okay to change your mind mid-painting, and it's okay to make somewhat drastic changes.
don't be afraid to change things you don't like or change your mind about certain aspects way later on
that's basically the whole thing of this!!! don't be scared!!!
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now im gonna hold your hand when i say this..........but you need to learn how to render by yourself. it seems like i can teach you but i literally can't, because rendering is different on every piece and depending on how clean your base is. i have to render A LOT because of how fucking ugly my sketches are LMAO to simplify it, think of it as obsessively cleaning up every detail you can see, but with a color picker and a clean, hard edged brush. if you have shit lineart, you don't have to redraw it cleanly over and over, just paint over it. that's basically what rendering is
THIS especially is where you need to be brave and stop being scared.
like i said, i can't teach you how to render, and it's something you have to discover yourself because rendering is something that will always be personal to every single piece you make. the way you render on every piece is different.
on one piece, you will barely need to render, and on another, rendering is more than half of your ENTIRE process.
don't be afraid to paint over your old art.
rendering is a process that's both very perfectionist yet also very careless.
find your balance and just go for it.
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and then that's it……..u did it………..now yuo know how to paint and render. it's literally just layering shading and lighting knowledge until you think it makes sense and looks okay lol additional note: since i render in only one layer (you don't HAVE to do this, but it'll be harder for you…), i also made slight adjustments with the transform (and liquify, if you have it) tool to make things more proportionate. (i drew the head too big lol)
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if you compare the finished piece to the final unrendered base, you can see that a LOT changed, including a bit of subtle proportion adjustment.
particularly, the sleeves changed A LOT (because i really didn't like them)
but it's also over all cleaner and more coherent, instead of having haphazard colors and shading just thrown about.
rendering is when you finally use all 100% of your brain to finalize and figure out where the shading should go, where to clean up your lines, where to ERASE or ADD BACK in lines, and make sure all your colors look coherent.
it's not as intimidating as it seems, i only use a hard edged brush with a little bit of color mixing and my color picker.
it's like dragging and dropping colors to cover up mistakes, it's really quite fun when you get used to it
i wish i could explain it clearer but it's hard to describe without visuals!
i hope this helped, and i hope all my yapping isn't annoying (art as a special interest beloved)
have fun studying and trying to render in my art style!
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thediaryofaurora · 3 months ago
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General HCs
Bloody Painter/Helen Otis
This bad boy is LONNGG, I included a lot of his backstory in this. Writers block is beating my ass. 💔
- Twenty one!
- 6’1. When I say this dudes lanky, I mean LANKY. Slim and naturally toned, his main exercise comes from chasing or climbing stairs.
- Both of his parents are Korean, but he was raised in Pennsylvania.
- His parents struggled with getting pregnant, most ending is miscarriages. His mom was completely batshit, so when the pregnancy stuck she swore she had some divine intuition that made her believed he’d be a girl. She didn’t even bother having an ultrasound, so when he was born and she saw that he was a boy she thought him being a girl was some sort of prophecy she needed to fulfill.
- His whole life she had always told him he was meant to be a girl and he would be going against ‘God’s will’ if he didn’t follow through. He was always dressed in feminine clothing and had an extremely girly room. His mother didn’t put him in school until he was about thirteen, since she thought the kids would taint his mind and make him think he’s a boy.
- When he was put in school he got bullied RELENTLESSLY. His name, the way he dressed, everything. After meeting Tom he slowly started to realize that all the shit he grew up with wasn’t normal and his mom was psycho, so he started borrowing his clothes and changing in the school bathrooms so he could feel less weird. Once Tom admitted to planting Judy’s watch in Helen’s bag, they argued on the roof while getting slightly physical. Tom had slipped off the edge, but Helen managed to grab him. Of course, a middle schooler isn’t necessarily strong enough to hold another off a building without going down with them, so Tom let go to save Helen. Rumors spread that Helen had pushed him, but no one cared enough to investigate.
- After that school year was over he started to dress more androgynous/ masculine and ignored his mom’s pressure, which lead to her abusing him both physically and mentally. Eventually, with his ignored mental issues and the abuse he completely snapped, killing his mom and several of his bullies right before a Halloween party. He was sent to a psychiatric hospital that Slender ended up taking him from.
- VERY polite and proper. He’s pretty soft spoken and his grammar is like never flawed, big word user. 1000% the type of guy to kiss your hand as a greeting. The most he’ll do if he doesn’t like you is give you the silent treatment or a dirty look.
- Weird little detail, but his fingers and SLIM and LONG. His nails are neatly kept. He likes to pamper himself.
- He does botany in his free time! Any flower arrangements in the mansion and the gardens outside are his doing. There’s a few residents that he brings bouquets to every other week so they can have something nice. EJ, Sally, and Jane are his usual market. Also does flower pressing.
- Used to do ballet when he was about 4-7.
- Definitely the safest driver, but that makes him a pain as a get away driver. Always goes the exact speed limit and follows every possible law.
- Mainly listens to classical music. However, he does like Billy Joel, Fleetwood Mac, David Bowie, even a little bit of Queen.
- His room is SO nice and very big. Long sheer curtains, velvet & silk bedding, a grand piano, flowers, tall bookshelves, chairs, a large bed with a canopy, big windows, and lots of sculptures and framed paintings done by him. He’s really into elegant things and floral patterns. Has a mural on his ceiling!
- Hangs out with EJ, Liu, Puppeteer, and Jane. Rarely does he talk to any of the proxies or any creeps he’s not close with. Awfully reserved.
- Loves the fine arts. Painting, writing, music, sculpting, all that jazz. Occasionally does poetry! Him and Liu both like to write, so sometimes they’ll get together and talk about it. He mostly reads old classic books & poetry.
- Jane has taught him how to sew, although he doesn’t find much use for it.
- He has a white persian cat named Juliette in his room no one knows about other than his close friends. She never leaves the room, but she’s content; it has enough room to have lots of things just for her. He has a MASSIVE painting of her renaissance style by her bed. (He got her one of those fancy cat beds that look like a tiny rich person couch.) Pampers her to death.
- I know in his canon design he has that denim kinda jacket on with the pin, but in my HC he wouldn’t be caught dead wearing that. Usually wears jeans and baggy button ups while he’s painting, but his day to day outfits are well put together. Rich person style in clothes — turtle necks, slacks, dress shoes, almost kind of dark academia.
- Super high standards in general, but especially when it comes to food. Fine dining for sure. Usually buys only enough ingredients for a serving just for him so he doesn’t have to leave them in the fridge. He doesn’t trust the other residents at ALL.
- This guy is ROLLING in it. He has so much loose cash from victims he can do whatever the hell he wants, big reason why his cat is living like royalty.
- Drinks at least one glass of wine a day. He has an entire rack in his room of old, fine wines. A lot of them are from Europe.
- For whatever reason, he’s an amazing masseuse.
- All of his candles and soaps are very high quality and expensive. He won’t settle for anything less.
- Can play the piano and the violin! He would kill to have a harpsichord, he might.
- He’s not big on history, but he could talk for hours about the titanic. He’s done paintings of it and has watched every possible documentary on it. Thinks the movie is a work of art.
I hope you all liked this! I love this fine man.
❤︎︎❥❤︎︎❥❤︎︎❥❤︎︎❥❤︎︎❥❤︎︎❥❤︎︎
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unbearableblog · 11 months ago
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My Christmas gift for you.
Messages (Carmen Berzatto x reader)
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Summary Carmy’s actions towards the reader might eventually lead to consequences.
Word count ~2,8k
Warnings 18+, No use of Y/N (there is rarely a name but it’s just for aesthetics, you are welcome to insert your own name), action set in S2 so possible spoilers, cursing, angst, relationship problems, possible mentions of smut
A/N God this took a lot from me! Legit flew to Copenhagen haha. I am very grateful to each and every one of you who read, liked, commented or reposted and supported this! I would never think that this would happen. I hope you’re not going to crucify me over the plot. Thank you so much for waiting!
Merry Christmas everyone!
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Chapter 1 (the one with departure, Denmark, and desserts)
Things were a little different at the Beef lately.
“Richie, shut the fuck up!”
“You first, child!”
Well, maybe not so different. But they certainly were different with you. Amongst the neverending screaming, cursing, and fighting, you somehow survived getting shot at, losing the power, dealing with the IRS, and everything else that constantly went wrong with this cursed place. The amount of experience you had in this short amount of time has topped anything you've done before. You couldn't catch your breath. But that's what you do for the ones you love, right?
It's been some time since you started helping Carmen with the Beef - serving the customers on a particularly busy day, calming down Carmen, sometimes giving Richie a pep talk when he needed to keep his shit together. But mostly you just chatted with Sydney and sat in the kitchen, doing your college assignments while watching Carmen work. You could never get tired of it - he looked so professional and smart. It was his element. Well, when everything was going well.
The entire time, you were there, talking to Carmen as he prepped for the day, giving him a smile and getting one back, just watching him go on about his day and move so swiftly like a well-oiled machine. Seeing him in an apron drove you wild. You'd have to stop yourself from going up to him and touching his god-given curls or rubbing his back through his white T-shirt (but more often you failed to do so). Most of the days you patiently waited to go home and show him everything that was on your mind all day.
One time he caught you staring, mind far away from the Beef. His voice brought you back.
“Are you thinking about my fingers again?” He said while putting his arms at his hips, almost offended.
You bit your lip and looked at him with a guilty smile.
His hand went up to brush through his curls.
“You’re not gonna get any work done if you keep thinking about that. And with the way you look at me, can say the same thing about myself.”
You whine and playfully pout, not wanting to keep studying.
“Come on, princess,” he comes closer to you and whispers in your ear so that his whole voice goes through your body and his lips brush your ear “And when we get home you can tell me all about it while you sit on my ‘pretty’ cock”
Sometimes he would explain what he was doing or why things weren't going the way they were supposed to, sometimes you would share something you found fascinating in your assignment. He would always listen, even if he didn't fully understand, but you knew he was trying to. It made you feel so special - you got the whole attention of this hot 3 Michelin star chef, covered in tattoos and buff, but he looked at you with such care and softness. His muscular arms touched and wrapped around you with strong tenderness and appreciation. Sometimes you saw the same attention to the details in the food he was making - he really cared.
Everything changed after the Beef closed down.
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Carmen was a little taken aback when you told him you were going to Copenhagen with Marcus. You were at the restaurant, like any other day, figuring out a thousand things that were wrong before the opening, when you heard Denmark being mentioned amongst the guys.
“Someone's going to Denmark?” you asked, turning around on your chair.
“Marcus is,” Carmen brushed off, and continued having his conversation with him.
“Wait, to Copenhagen? Why?” you felt ignored.
“Uhh, to learn everything about desserts,” Marcus answered. Carmen didn't even look in your direction.
“When? Why didn't you tell me?” you sounded excited because you were, but your heart felt like it was placed into an iron cage. Carmen knew how much that city meant to you, and to not even mention that your friend was going there felt neglectful. But maybe you were overreacting - he was probably busy, he doesn't have to tell you everything, and it surely wasn't for long anyway.
Berzatto shrugged his shoulders. “Why? It's just for some time.”
“I was actually thinking about going there too. I haven't seen my sister in a while. Maybe we could fly together? I know everything there,” you were ready to help Marcus as a bonus. You really appreciated him as a friend, and returning the favor for all those delicious pastries he made at your request would be terrific. You could also use a fucking break from Chiberia.
“For real? That would be awesome!” Marcus exclaimed with his arms, his smile releasing your heart from its prison.
“Uhh… yeah-yeah, sure, I guess,” Carmen squinted his eyes and rubbed his forehead. “I- uhhh, have to go out for a minute. Umm,” he swallowed “-meet that rep for me, yeah?”
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An entire work shift of flying has gone by the time you started seeing the bronze-roofed houses sprinkled like decorations on a Red Velvet cake. You made Marcus promise you not to judge the country by its airport, as it usually was surprisingly dirty. Nevertheless, there were hints of what life there was like - a burst of energy, culture, and flavour. You walked what seemed like forever through the endless white halls with blue sections, wondering how many times Carmen had been here and whether you ever crossed paths. You kind of wished he was there. Your excitement rubbed off on your friend - Marcus was beaming with happiness, anticipating your time there. He knew it was going to be life-changing.
The moment you went outside felt like you could breathe again. The weight of The Beef, Carmen, stress, problems problems problems dropped off, was left behind, and never got on the plane. Your chest wasn't encircled by snakes that only pushed until you suffocated. Your mind was clear.
You helped Marcus settle in his awesome boat, and after reading the owner's note to "keep the water in Coco's bowl", searched for the cat for like 20 minutes. Unfortunately, your efforts were fruitless.
Marcus only let you go back alone because you assured him of your safety (you gave him a speech about how it wasn't like Chicago) and experience. Still, he made you text him when you got to your sister's. The two of you were always trying to make your relationship work, but the distance didn't make it easy. That did not mean that you were going to give up - you were used to making a lot of effort for the people you love. She was ecstatic and grateful to see her little sister. The rest of the evening was spent eating, sharing your lives, and talking about your mysterious boyfriend.
“I don’t know, he’s just so… distant. He always leaves somewhere, does god knows what when he knows we don’t have much time! Sometimes it feels like I care about the restaurant more than him. Which is so weird because he was so into it before! He planned the whole thing! And I am so fucking stressed from it all! I never even wanted to work in a restaurant but I was there for him!” you expressed your pain very loudly.
“Have you thought of… breaking up with him?”
You exhale and almost completely give up mentally.
“I don’t know… it feels like we don’t have much of a relationship at all anymore. We don’t go out, all the time is spent on the opening. I swear sometimes I’m there just for our friends and his sister, I can’t just leave them without help while he’s wandering somewhere”.
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You couldn’t sleep because being in bed without Carmy by your side felt plain wrong. You were also jetlagged which meant that the peaceful world of Morpheus was avoiding you like a plague. The same thing happened to Marcus, so you both were just texting about what you were doing.
“idk, i gave up and went to get some tea” you typed, a warm mug in your hand as you cozied up on the couch with a blanket.
“yeah, same shit here. bout time to get ready anyway”
Your whole house was asleep, and probably would be so for a while. It was too dark to go out for your liking. Boredom kind of crept in.
“what is it exactly u're gonna do there?”
“uhhh i wish i knew. make some things from the pics i showed u i guess”
“can i watch?” Was it too much of a request? Who even knows if you'll be allowed there?
“yeah i think so. i'd love to not have to do this alone”
You smile, finish your tea, and get up to find some clothes.
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You finally reached the place and were met by a tall man in an apron. He introduced himself as Luca, and you heard a very sultry voice softened by an accent. You wondered where he was from.
“I'm Chef Marcus. That's Liv. Is it cool if she just hangs around and watches me?”
“Hi,” you smile at him.
“Hello. You could also join in. What kind of a chef are you?”
“Oh I'm not, I'm -”
“Well, with the amount of time Liv spends in our kitchen listening to every word of the CDC, I'd say she might as well be a chef by now,” Marcus only half-jokes. You give him a look anyway.
Luca prepared everything and soon he and Marcus were working. You were sitting on the other side of the table, able to see everything. Only now you were starting to notice how strong he was, you have to be, you thought, if you stay on your feet all day. His arms were also covered in tattoos that didn't seem to make sense, like Carmy's.
“So who are you?” Luca's question doesn't sound rude, just curious.
“I'm his boss' girlfriend,” you nod as you speak.
“Wow,” he seems to be thinking something, but maybe it's just him being focused on putting the peanuts on dessert, “What are you doing here?”
“Uhh, visiting my sister? It was time and I thought Marcus here could use someone to show him around. As for here, I was really jetlagged and bored.”
Luca was amazing. The way he coached Marcus even when he made mistakes was consistently calm, stern, and leading. Not once did any of you feel berated or hear his voice go louder, all you knew was to just try again. His entire presence excreted stability and equilibrium.
After an extensive lesson, it was Marcus' turn to try. All of you leaned closer to the dessert in hopes of seeing more. You held your breath as you watched Marcus carefully place a tiny piece in the clockwise direction of the dessert when in the blurred background of your vision you felt something change. Instinctively, you looked up from the dish, and your eyes met the gaze of your friend's teacher. There he was, almost lying on the table, looking at you. As if he wasn't busy right now. As if the dessert didn't matter. Hypnotized. “Got it!” Marcus smiled and stood straight up. “Great job, chef,” Luca switched back to Marcus.
Suddenly a firework of spice embraced you in its scent, making your head go round from the all-encompassing desire to taste it.
“Oh my god, are those cinnamon buns?” you had to put your hands on the counter to keep yourself up. “Yeah,” Luca stood straight. “You like them?” “They smell amazing!” you could swear you saw a quick prideful smile brush Luca's lips.
“They are her favourite. And she's very specific about'em too,” Marcus threw you under the bus.
Luca seems interested. “In what way?”
“I'm not, okay? I just believe that cinnamon buns should have a lot of sugar and cinnamon, or else they're just buns. There was this place near the park, and the pastry they sold was like 90% dough. I didn't like that at all” you defend yourself, and Marcus scoffs, having heard you rant about it many times at The Beef.
“Abomination,” Luca shakes his head.
“Exactly! I love it when there is so much sugar that it's oozing out, that's how it'd supposed to be.”
Your lighthearted banter somehow led to Luca opening up and talking about his life and experience. He also shared a couple of stories about determination, his acceptance of not being the best, and some of his failures. Soon all of you were joking around and laughing at your pasts. You felt your heart warm up to him and thought that leaving the house was a good idea.
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Marcus stepped outside to check on his mom. He called her sitter as often as he could, and every time you hoped that everything would be alright. Luca was silently doing his work, kneading some dough. It was a demanding process, but so meditative, and you couldn't help but float away watching his big hands grab and squeeze the smooth dough, throwing it back onto the table occasionally, his long fingers dug into it, leaving an impression. “So where is he now?” you ask. “Who?” “The chef who was better than you. Where is he now?” you wondered if Carmen knew him or told you about him. “Well, you tell me. Apparently, opening up a new restaurant,” the chef said, as he threw a careless nod in your direction. Huh? Your heart drops. What? You let out a nervous scoff. “You're saying it was… Carmen??” Your question was met with a simple nod as he kept working. “Carmen Berzatto, the chef that was better than you at everything?” you almost spell out. Luca just takes his eyes off the dough and watches your reaction. He is also confused. “God, he really is the best?” the question sounds more like an exhale. “People keep saying it, but I guess I didn't realize” you sit down, defeated, and stare off. Your mind keeps pacing - what happened to Carmen? How did he go from being the best to being a yelling mess of chaos? Why is someone who looked up to him so calm and collected but still successful? Why can't he be like that? “You sound surprised. What, he doesn't feel like it?” He asks while kneading the dough, this time slower and a little softer. You look at him, then shake your head away and look down. You want to tell him everything about the way Carmen treats you, and how different that is from what your beginning used to be, how he doesn't appreciate you even though you spent so much time in and on The Beef, and how unfair that is, and have his deep voice tell you the answer, but you can't. That would be weird. Luca notices your hesitation. “You know, when we worked together, he would often be… difficult,” there is a pause after he says it because he is reading your face, trying to understand if he's walking on thin ice. He isn't, so he continues. “Partly why I didn't become better than him was because he wouldn't let me.” “Yeah, he shared something like that.” His brows went a little higher, and his grip on the dough hardened and stayed there. “My point is, being with a person like that can't be easy. Man, we only worked together and I already wanted to smother him, can't imagine being in a bloody relationship,” his smile makes you laugh and for a second you forget every bad thing in the world.
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Later that day you wanted to call Carmen. “Carm, you free?” You wished to tell him everything - how much you loved the city, how nice his friend was, the fun you were having, and how good this was for you. Kinda wanted to beat his ass for being so mean to Luca too. “not rn, Liv, busy”
Of course.
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“Olivia! Come here!” your sister screamed to get your attention. You noticed she was standing at the door, talking to somebody, so you got up and approached her. “What's up?” you asked. She closed the door and turned to you, holding something in her hands. “It's a gift from your boyfriend,” she said in a teasing tone, and you could swear that the last time you saw her that giddy was in high school. “What? How do you know?” A drop of hope celebrated its birth in your chest. “The delivery guy said it's from a chef,” the last word she playfully stretched out, so it came out a little funny, like Tina says it. You couldn't believe it. There it was, a white box carefully tied with a red ribbon. Finally Carmen realised how distracted he was and decided to apologize. Obviously, you were gone, so he missed you. Your heart filled with warmth and you smiled to yourself - you knew things would get better. You take the hefty precious gift from your sister's hands, sit on the couch, and open it with anticipation. Inside, 9 breathtaking gourmet cinnamon rolls with caramelized sugar barely fitting, leaking out of the mouthwatering, well-kneaded dough. And a note.
"You deserve all the best in the world - Luca"
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I hope you enjoyed it! Part 2 might come quicker if you comment how you liked it
Snippet from the next chapters
🏷️ Tagged everyone in the comments! If you want to be excluded, just let me know♥️ @carma-fanficaddict @eternallyvenus @sia2raw @helloheyhihowdyheya @soursopsista @m1dnightsnackz @custarrds
Dividers by @saradika
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yet-another-haven-of-dollya · 11 months ago
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Finally! My DoL PCs and their LIs
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My friends asked me if I wanted to join the School AU with their OCs and I thought for the longest time before bringing Lya to the party. Then I kinda just felt like it and drew the whole gang :D They came out beautifully so more information and separated images undercut!
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The First one is of course Lya the Blossom
Main PC
Harpy transforms, Mate for Life.
Wears all white if she can.
Very light in weight, makes her defiant attempts usually ineffective.
Went through a lot to make things easier for her loved ones.
Skilled in segg but doesn't really enjoy it anymore at this point if it's not with her loved one. What she seeks in segg with her lover is intimacy and the feeling of security.
Secretly a meanie. Gets jealous easily and envious of almost anyone, but doesn't show it or act on it often.
Despises the Temple to her core but believes Jordan is a genuinely good person. Wanted to fuck him just because.
Protective toward her lover and the children at the Orphanage.
Very insecure about her financial state. She tried to make money anytime she could.
CONSENT YOU MOTHERFU-
Can't cook. Literally. Keep her away from the kitchen.
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Male Robin the Lover~ (Sorry I love this title)
The one and only.
Maybe he's trying his best, maybe he's hiding from something so terrible, who knows.
Love the purple color.
Easily scared and would cry out loud if Lya was there to reassure him and demand a lot of hugs, head pats, and kisses afterward.
Clingy as hell, but luckily he's cute just enough to let it pass.
Hell lots of freckles, everywhere all over his body even though he mostly stays at home or in the shades. Sensitive skin then.
Squishy belly.
Occasionally cross-dress when going on a date with Lya but keeps it as a hobby only.
Love to do makeup for Lya and skin care together.
Grow in height a LOT since the game started and wondering why Lya still stays the same, not that he complains about her growth of boobs and ass.
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Lyah the Emancipated
The second PC, made with a lot of feast boots, almost all of the Vrel coins Lya earned.
Wears all black if he can.
Demonic Harpy Chimera Transforms.
Waiting for Robin's preg contents.
2m14. Larger body type, 6/6 physic, S athletic, Vengeful Sadist. Basically all offensive.
Fucking huge manboobs produce fucking lots of milk
Almost always wears a buttplug
The only one taller than him is Jordan.
"Blood moon? Fuck Ivory Wraith I'm out."
Still works at Strip Club, mostly because he loves wearing bunny suits and he wants to look out for Darryl.
Chef. Let him cook.
Housekeeping skill F-. Drops and crashes everything every time trying to clean or deco his room.
Doesn't know how to smile but will unconsciously do so when he's near Robin.
Doesn't understand why he's still sometimes mistaken as female.
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Fem Robin the Lover~
So cute and squishy.
People unconsciously smile when she smiles.
"Too precious must protect."
Her weight is top secret.
Knows it all too well that Lyah intentionally feeds her more sweet treats and creamy drinks every day during every school break but can't resist the temptation of sweets.
Accepts gaining weight during the leisurely times, but has to lose it a bit before school starts again so she can fit into the school's uniforms.
Pretty proud that her lover is a chef at the biggest Cafe in town.
Slightly less freckle than male Robin. Just slightly.
Wardrobe full of checkered pattern clothes.
Of course she can cook well.
Perfect housewife material.
Timid when using strap-on but usually gets absorbed in the moment too much she forgor to pull the buttplug out before diving her strap in.
Lyah is not complaining though so it's all good.
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Last but not least Kariya the Alter Ego!
"Well somebody has to go to prison and asylum and... hmmm"
Devil transforms
Full name Sesshouin Kariya. Kariya means "Midnight' Swallow"
Not a new save file but one of Lya's older saves. Hence the Alter Ego title.
Was born cuz I was bored and wanted to go to places Lya and Lyah can't go because they're worried about their lover being left alone.
They don't set a love interest because of that, so they can't get attached and can freely roam everywhere.
Enjoy segg as it is, purely seeking more pleasure day by day.
Drooling Masochist. Prefer group.
Get bored easily but are also quick to forget, so after a while that very same thing may pique their interest again.
Zones out a lot. Absent-minded. Sometimes clueless to things that are not segg-related.
"Ahhhh Nii-chan, nee-chan, help me it's 23:55 already and I forgor to cum inside somebody today waaaaaaaa-!!"
Intentionally dress more feminine because they love showing off.
The color palette is reversed from Lya's.
" I wonder if it's blood moon soon..."
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