#the useless comics
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Always Prepared
"I also have painkillers if you need them"
As a single man that raised a girl all by himself Matthias developed a habit of carrying the "lady utilities" with him just in case.
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A reasonable one
#when you find out you have the most useless skill in the world#your first course of action should always be to prank your man with it#art#comic#ask#du drow#astarion
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gale origin playthru from astarion’s pov or smth like that
#bloodweave#astarion#gale of waterdeep#gale dekarios#bg3#baldur’s gate 3#ihhhhhhhhhuuhhhhh bad idea to make a comic that’s not required for work#but finally fucking finished it. excuse the horrible lettering I cannot be fucked#tbh when Tara came in with that fucking ring of agility like#first rest I was like. girl why are you giving me something useful#and I rushed to find the most useless object I could#thank you Komira you’re a real one#also I’m so sorry to astarion for simplifying the swaggy gold decor on your outfit but I was not drawing that twenty times#also yeah this is like early act 1 no one knows about the netherese orb or astarion’s vampirism (supposedly) yet
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get him!
#siffrin? more like sif is out au#inspired by someone that said the panel where everyone turn around and go 'siffrin!' in the useless idiot comic made them imagine sif as#a dog being reprimanded#isat#isat spoilers#?
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…..I should be working rn but one of the songs in my playlist hit harder than usual so
#maccadam#transformers#deadlock#idw deadlock#drift#ratchet#idw ratchet#dratchet#ratchlock#also#this kind of fics that makes them run into each other during the war#while Ratchet is younger and Drift is still Deadlock#i love them#*stops shooting* oh hey Doc#*stops shooting* oh hey kid#both proceed to just casually ignoring each other’s fractions#Deadlock would never even think of killing Ratchet and Ratchet would never betray this trust#…….sometimes I like to think that tfp Ratchet doesn’t like being called ‘doc’ because that was how tfp Deadlock called him#one day I gather enough motivation to draw that one comic I was thinking about for half a year now#about tfp Deadlock arriving to earth to rejoin Megatron#and then humans and Autobots at some point discovering his fucked up romantic situation with Ratchet#….I just thought I probably would need to make Deadlock flying alt mode so he’s not completely useless in space and sky#eh idk#I just wanna draw everyone’s O_O faces when Decepticon’s high in command just casually calls Ratchet doc or Ratch or smth#oh wow I got carried away with these tags
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got a worm nibbling my brain. can someone help me find a piece of obscure media?
webcomic/indie comic from the 2010s. basically a sci-fi short story about a young girl (with red hair?) who was being raised by scientists as part of an experiment. she receives a haircut/has her head shaved, in preparation for her annual brain scan/testing. it is revealed that while her body is human, her "brain" is artificial, made of computer implants throughout her skull and spine. at some point her biological mother (also a scientist on the same campus?) encounters her and is repulsed, viewing her as a machine who has murdered her daughter.
it was very poignant and it bruised my heart and i can NOT find it anywhere
#i thought it was made by the creator of 'O Human Star' for some reason but apparently not?#goddammit goddammit goddammit#'i don't have to write down the title of this piece of media i encountered in my formative years bc i'll always remember it'#*cut to ten years later frantic googling*#fun fact 'a.i.' is now a completely useless search term#google in general is useless#and stuff i read 3+ years ago regularly vanishes from the internet#bookmarks are not enough! if you like indie media--download that shit! buy digital/physical copies while you can#save it to the cloud back it up and organize that shit!!!#keep a list of the stuff you read (organized by date/media type and possibly with keywords if you want it to be useful longterm)#(or a spreadsheet even if you're like me and rabidly consume short stories/comics like a pack of amnesiac piranhas on a feeding frenzy)#(that stuff PILES UP over the years ok. if you wanna make sure you'll be able to find it again a decade later--curation is key)#because art WILL touch your soul and then vanish into the void leaving naught but a 404 Error in its wake#i am an old man shaking my fist at the kids on my lawn but the kids on my lawn are me and my longterm digital planning skills circa 2012
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Valid reasons for interrupting JLA meetings:
Emergencies
You have cute baby pictures. This is a surefire way to distract everyone.
#Hal and Bruce and Diana and Clark all become completely useless.#The others try and fail to get it back on track#But then come the cute baby videos#dc comics#jla#Justice League#Watchtower shenanigans
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don't be fooled by the popcorn button on the microwave. the smoke alarm is actively going off.
#dipper pines#mabel pines#gravity falls#gravity falls comic#my art#digital art#pines twins#mystery twins#dipper and mabel#another real life thing that happened with my sister#the popcorn button is useless on a microwave
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hal and johns turn to be shot by my woman beam
extra-
#dc comics#green lantern#hal jordan#john stewart#kyle rayner#projecting my uselessness on kyle#also projecting my perverted brain on hal by turning him into a muscle mommy. sorry world. i cant help it
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"no one can remember what happened in the previous seasons"
(except scar was totally playing dumb)
#wild life desert duo has me on a chokehold.#they started with toxic enemies situationship that shared a bed and went onto a healing era after an extremely long divorce#we love to see it!!!!!!!#lots of thoughts about this scene.#i wanted this to convey the actual tone used in the conversation more or less#but then its less obvious that scar is just straight up lying hsjdhskfhsks#we all saw you answer nearly every question correctly scar!!!! you more than anyone know what happened in third life!!!!!!#anyways. first mcyt art!!!! would have liked to give more thought to wild life grian design but i dont have enough braincells#settled for 3 useless belts for the 3 bridges#ok enough commentary.#grian#gtws#goodtimeswithscar#desert duo#wild life#3rd life#art tag#comic#life series#life smp#traffic series#traffic smp
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Protector
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Angel Dust turns Human
Part 7
Pt1 Pt2 Pt3 Pt4 Pt5 Pt6
This one is a bit short, sorry😓🙏!! I just thought that the last drawing was a good way to end this segment; I really enjoyed drawing these parts. Idk why🤔! I know the quality is a bit low, but if I make the canvas bigger, then my laptop will glitch and probably delete the whole drawing💔. If I make the drawings bigger and just make them as separate images, then my storage will run out and glitch! Nothing ever satisfies my old laptop😮💨...it's 6 years old as of now, I think!
Anyways, Angel (or Antoní🤔) gets a new hairstyle bc it was rlly messy in the first place, and GOD DAMN I hated drawing his old hair, I'm sorry😓😔🙏! I hope you guys noticed that Alastor hoped Angel was referring to him when talking about his father's business🙂🤫 (HE MISSED HIS SON). I rlly liked drawing them hug for once🫡🫶
Husk was truly no help at all (can't blame him), and Angel just truly wants to cry since he missed Alastor but also is terrified BECAUSE he's Alastor🫥. Charlie and Vaggie are back, YAYA!😁 This time, I don't know what else to add, sorry; my brain is super tired today😓!
Taglist: @diffidentphantom @cloversnstrawberries @birthrightversemain @dawn-sky-collective
#angel dust#hazbin hotel#alastor#fanart#hazbin art#no romance#/platonic#charlie morningstar#vaggie#comic art#fan comic#parental alastor#parental yandere#parental figures#yandere parent#fatherlylove#found family#platonic yandere#yandere#possessive alastor#possesive love#protective#Angel dust was a really lonely kid in the mafia; no one truly respected him but thought his knowledge of the human body was useful#Alastor's teachings truly did help him in the long run; otherwise his Pa probably wouldve gotten rid of him if he was useless☹️#He was still disturbed when he first cut up a body to pieces; he wished Sir was there to help him but he was dead at the time so💔#Angel dusts death will probably not align w the canon but also kinda? The death of an overdose will have a different backstory to it tho🤔#Interrogated by another mafia group is not nice; they didnt mean to drug him TOO much#but they did and he choked up on it and died in a chair; his pa wasnt looking for him anyways#Angel Dust is truly just a lonely character☹️#i love you angel dust🫂🫶
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Miguel is Fine, Actually (Being Spider-Man's Just Toxic As Hell)
Before I watched ATSV I said that I would defend my man Miguel O'Hara's actions no matter what, because he's always valid and I support women's wrongs. I was joking, and I did not actually expect to start defending him on Tumblr.edu. But I'm seeing a lot of commentary that's super reductive, so I do want to bring up another perspective on his character.
Miguel wasn't acting against the spirit of Spider-Man, or what being Spider-Man means. Miguel isn't meant to represent the antithesis of Spider-Man. Miles is the antithesis of Spider-Man. Miguel represents Spider-Man taken to its extreme.
Think about Miguel's actions from his perspective. If you were a hero who genuinely, legitimately, 100%, no doubt about it, believed that somebody is going to make a selfish decision that will destroy an entire universe and put the entire multiverse at severe risk - if you had an over-burdened sense of responsibility and believed in doing the right thing no matter what - you would also chase down the kid and put him in baby jail to try and prevent it. He believed that he was saving the multiverse, and that Miles was putting it in danger for selfish reasons. Which is completely unforgivable to him, because selfishness is what he hates the most. And then he goes completely out of pocket and starts beefing with a 15yo lmfaooo he's such a dick.
But why did Miguel believe that? Why did he believe that Miles choosing himself and his own happiness over the well-being of others was the worst possible thing? Why did he believe that tragedy was inevitable in their lives, and that without tragedy Spider-Man can't exist?
Because he's Spider-Man.
Peter Parker was once a fifteen year old who chose his own happiness over protecting others. It was the greatest regret of his life and he never forgave himself. Peter's ethos means that he will put himself last every time, and that he will sacrifice anything and everything in his life - his relationships, his health, his future - to protecting and helping others. Peter dropped out of college because it interfered with Spider-Man. He destroyed his own future for Spider-Man. He ruins friendships and romantic relationships because Spider-Man was more important. If Peter ever tries to protect himself and his own happiness, then he's a bad person.
That is intrinsic to Peter. Peter would not be Peter without it. A story that is not defined by Peter's unhappiness is not a Spider-Man story. If Peter doesn't make himself miserable, then he's just not Peter.
That is a Spider-Man story: that not only is tragedy inevitable, that if you don't allow yourself to be defined by your tragedy then you're a bad person. If you don't suffer, then you're a bad person. If you ever put anything above Spider-Man, then you're killing Uncle Ben all over again. Miguel isn't the only one that believes this - as we saw, every Spider-Man buys into what he's saying. There's no Spider-Man without these beliefs.
Miguel attempted to find his own happiness, and he was punished in the most extreme way. He got Uncle Ben'd x10000. He tried to be happy, and it literally destroyed his entire universe. It's the Spider-narrative taken to the extreme. Of course Miguel believes all of this. Of course he believes this so firmly. He's Spider-Man. That's his story. And the one time Miguel tried to fight against that story, he was punished. And like any Spider-Man, he'll slavishly obey that narrative no matter the evil it creates and perpetuates. Because if he doesn't, the narrative will punish him. The narrative will always punish him. It's a Spider-Man story.
I don't think the universal constant between Spider-Mans, the thing that makes them Spider-Man, is tragedy. I think it's the fact that they never forgive themselves. And Miguel is what that viewpoint creates. He doesn't believe this things because he's an awful, mean person. He believes them because he's a hero. He's a good person who hates himself.
Across the Spider-verse isn't really a Spider-Man story. It's a story about Spider-Man stories. Miguel's right: if this was a Spider-Man story, then Miles acting selfishly really would destroy the universe. But Miles' story isn't interested in punishing him. It pushes back against Peter's narrative that unhappiness is inevitable and that you have to suffer to be a good person. It says that sometimes we do the right thing from love and not fear, and that Peter's way of thinking is ultimately super toxic and unhappy. ITSV was about Miles deciding that he didn't need to be Peter Parker, that all he needed to be was Miles, and ATSV is about how being Peter Parker isn't such a good thing. Miguel shows that. Whatever toxic and unhealthy beliefs he holds - they're the exact same beliefs that any Spider-Man holds. He's a dick, but I don't think he's any more awful a person than Peter is.
TL;DR: Miguel isn't a bad person, he just has Spider-Man brainrot.
#across the spider-verse#atsv#atsv spoilers#across the spider-verse spoilers#across the spiderverse#across the spider verse#miguel o'hara#atsv meta#source: i recognized an embarassing amount of those cameos#im also seeing a lot of ppl make a lot of assumptions about what miguel was injecting and why#we dunno guys! im not gonna suppose anything#I just think that Miguel and Miles are great foils#and that what makes them interesting as foils#is the fact that they're both good people who want to do the right thing#miguel shows how that gets twisted#to the point where you beef with a 15yo sometimes which is still so funny#im a big spidey 2099 fan#which I love bc it is NOTHING like spiderman and yet it's such a good spiderman story#but talking about comics migs is useless bc he has 0 in common with atsv migs#but there is a lot of VERY cool stuff to say about how#the sm2099 comic has nothing to do with spiderman at all whatsoever extremely pointedly#but its still a wonderful spiderman story that finds its own way#tbh it was kind of a breath of fresh air to read a spider-man story that wasn't about spider-man for once#and that was just about miguel#anyway stan women's wrongs#miguel o hara#miguel ohara#my writing
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On the discourse (that somehow still exists) of why the X-Men are feared and hated but other genetically modified heroes like the Fantastic Four or some of the Avengers aren't :
I still see this argument online that some people, usually not X-Men fans, pull out in a sort of gotcha moment. To kind of stick it to Marvel for being unrealistic or to vouch for the fearing of other heroes in the marvel universe to tip the scales.
There are two points for the "why is *random x-men* oppressed and not *random marvel hero*" discourse that people are always intentionally missing.
One- A base of mutant fear and repression is the argument that "it could happen to your children too". It could happen to ANYONE, from birth, and there is nothing you can do about it. No being careful of scientific experiences can stop your close ones from becoming a mutant. (Kind of like people are okay with gay celebrities as long as they're doing their thing from afar but it's a threat when it comes to their children/Friends/family being gay)
They layed it on thick with this amazing advertisment back in the day: "do you know what your children are"??? I mean come on it's not rocket science
Fun fact, the kid labeled "mutie" here is actually Franklin Richards, son of Mister Fantastic and Invisible woman. He used to be a mutant and this goes to show how somehow johnny storm can be beloved but his super powered nephew doesn't get the same treatment.
Two- Spider-Man, the F4, the Avengers etc... All these heros who get some powers by some incident. They're supposed to be rare and few in between. The fear of mutants mainly comes from the fact that they started popping up in the MILLIONS. A mutant isn't necessarly seen as an honorable individual that acquires powers and realises they have the responsibility to use it for good. To humans, they're millions of people (or at least hundreds of thousands) that are, just by existing, threatening the status quo of humanity. They are changing the natural dominance of humans for good.
So of course humans love the F4 (usually). Because they're not scared to be replaced by them in their day to day life, however they are scared to be rendered obsolete by mutants. When humans look at the F4 they see brave selfless HUMAN heroes. They relate to them, they identify with them. They're a sweet family dedicated to the world's safety. In contrast, the mutants represent a world changing threat that truly shifts the balance. And that's not comfy at all no matter how cute or harmless the power is.
This difference can even cause very understandable tension in between the X-men and other super powered groups:
In short, the mutant moral panic comes from the fact that for exemple:
-humans are afraid to loose their jobs to super powered level talents.
-humans are scared from groups of super powered people that could threaten their safety.
-Governments are scared of these groups being the equivalent of entire armies concentrated in a single individual.
- They're scared that their children could turn into something unimaginable once they hit puberty
-And some just hate the idea of being manipulated by a random telepath on the street without ever knowing.
In contrast of Spider-Man, humans feel like nature is done with homo sapiens and THAT'S what brings hate and fear.
That's why everytime a mutant hate crime happens in the comics, it's always accompanied by some human saying "y'think you're better than us weirdo".
+ Contrary to the avengers, mutants also claim a culture, a shared history and common experiences between thousands. This binds them together in a way they doesn't necessarly make them identify with humans. And this is overall irritating and scary to humans.
Also, religious fear-mongering of mutants is rampant!!! It does a ton to set appart the mutants from the scientifically modified heros of the marvel universe.
In the end, one of the best comic to portray this whole thing is still God loves man Kills.
It depicts a villain, Striker, that gains popularity by spreading religious propaganda to justify mutant hate. In an emotional and shocking twist, we come to find that Striker has had a mutant son, that he killed with his own hand because he was a "monster".
You can understand how Captain America, with his super body, doesn't really evoke the same existential dread. Bigotry isn't rational, but also, a shit ton of things complicate the mutant's inclusion into society that doesn't necessarly parallel perfectly with real world struggles so that's also to take into consideration.
#the only part of truth i'll concede to this discourse is that yeah it's blurry how humans wouldn't assume#that any super powered person is a mutant#but this is i think a useless gripe that would just make mutants too present in other marvel books#xmen#marvel#comics#x men comics#scott summers#comic panels#jean grey#xmen 97#the x allegory#mutant 101#magneto#professor x#charles xavier#storm#kitty pryde
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Do you possibly have any more vortex doodles...? He’s my fave and you draw him so good 👉👈
Oh thank you fkfjfj. And yeah I do :D I just kinda stopped posting them bc people didn’t really look interested. But since you asked
These were made by me and @hodd1 during some Magma sessions👆
#maccadam#transformers#Vortex#Swindle#First aid#Texaid#little useless fun fact#the third sketchy thing was made as a part of a comic#it was some short comedy bullshit about Texaid#because I went searching for fics with Vortex#and just like it was with Shockblurr I decided I need my own take#I wonder if I can still find it somewhere in my folders lol
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Adami and Crawly
#my art#baoko's art#fanart#homicipher#mr crawling x adami#mr crawling#adami adashino#homicipher mc#homicipher mr crawling#originally i didnt want to add much text but then changed ny mind lolol#however just some useless facts cuz i thought those are funny to write them out so;P#OH AND i consider Adami as a separated character more#i don't entirely see her as a representation of ourselves (myself included lol) so i decided to add my headcanons and stuff on her tho:^]#....And i made Crawling's hair longer [intentionally lol]#but that was for an upcoming comic idea👁👁
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