#the things you do for family

[waves314]

Somehow I agreed to make a baptismal gown out of my mom’s wedding dress. I am so nervous about cutting into it. I feel like I’m not a good enough seamstress. This should be interesting

[doctorsiren]

Gravity Falls AU where everything is exactly the same except Bill’s parents are alive and well, and they’re just so proud of their chaotic dream demon son

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[where-that-old-train-goes]

not normal about orpheus and eurydice. you loved someone so much it opened the stones of the underworld. so much that death had to listen. so much that everything stopped for your love. so much that you turned around. so much that even when you did wrong. she forgave you.

[canisalbus]

✦ Trick or treat ✦

[justa-smalltown-gargoyle]

This is not meant to be a dig more just an observation at why opinions differ, but I feel like the people who view Dick as being a fatherly figure to Damian/them having a Parent-Child dynamic vs a Older Sibling-Little Sibling dynamic don’t know what it’s like to have siblings that are waaaaaaaay older than you in a big family! They may take on a more guardian role but it’s still a different dynamic idk

[sysig]

Permission to headbutt: Granted (Patreon)

[rotzaprachim]

A list of household things which MANY ethnicities seem to think are specific to their culture:

a) a plastic bag stuffed full of other plastic bags

b) cultural/religious knickknacks which your grandparents will scream at you for touching

c) a set of items that are specifically for Company (often the relatives your parents feel the need to impress and/or secretly despise)

d) a very loud woman

e) a butter cookie tin full of sewing supplies

f) mass Tupperware collections and/or ice cream and yogurt containers filled with surprise cold vegetables in the fridge

g) relatives overly involved in the physical appearances, profesional, and reproductive lives of the young women in the family

h) arguing

anyway I think the really interesting cultural identifier is what b) and c) are, because those are a little more specific even if the impulses behind them are not

[andsewingishalfthebattle]

Novice sewing pattern: Cut out shapes. Line up the little triangles on the edges. Stitch edges together. We've also included step-by-step assembly instructions with illustrations.

Novice knitting pattern: yOU MUSt uNDerstANd thE SECret cOdE CO67 (73, 87, 93) BO44 (63, 76, 90) 28 (32, 34) slip first pw repeat 7x K to end *kl (pl) 42 * until 13" (13, 13, 15) join new at 30 pl for 17 rows ssk 27 k2tog mattress lengthwise BO and sacrifice a goat to the knitting gods. WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU WANT "INSTRUCTIONS," I JUST GAVE THEM TO YOU

[anemovisionuser]

Furina and Neuvillette really do have one of the relationships of all time. I have been by your side unfailingly for five hundred years. We don't really talk. I wish the best for you. I don't understand you. I wish I knew what you needed. Sometimes I know you more than you know yourself. When we do talk, we argue. I think I trust you. I am alone. I still know where to find you on instinct

[meamiiikiii]

silly comic based on a time i struggled to read live on stream :thumbsup:

context clip compilation below ASDASDFASA

(cw for brief mention of hospitals/strokes)

[spielzeugkaiser]

How it started-

How it's going!! They are a family and I am!!! also draw the hug you want to see in the show but they are forgiven because them meeting in brokilon was still soooo tender my HEART-

[medusas-graveyard]

Damian's...a big brother?

He's been babied by the rest of the Waynes so what'll happen if Danny suddenly show up in the family being ± 2/3 years younger than him... Traumatized kid who thinks Damien's pretty cool yk.... The rest of the Waynes are pretty damn impressed that he hasn't killed Danny yet for being curious about him...Damian doesn't know why he's letting the newest stowaway follow him around either?

Eventually being Danny's favorite sibling (Totally not because he could go all out sparring with Dami. What? Psshh, no...) And the first name he screams when he's in trouble.

[nidbaesenpai]

Context: friend got Memory of Sadness on their first friendquest to the end of the House. Big emotional whiplash but I love it, Siffrin just wants to stay in this happy bubble with allies. :)

[captainjonnitkessler]

also. hate discourse around indigenous knowledge because it's like Yes the indigenous people have knowledge based on historical uses that should be adopted into the mainstream. But then somewhere down the line it becomes "white people can NEVER truly understand indigenous lands, their ancestors came from EUROPE" and its like ok that is anti-immigration & blood quantum rhetoric. people's knowledge do not come from their genetics Nor do they come from ancestor spirits. Why is this a left position

Oh yeah supposedly-left people on tumblr are fucking weird about bloodlines and heritage. I genuinely can't stand it.

In this case it's perpetuating Noble Savage stereotypes about how indigenous people are inherently good and pure and magically connected to the land, instead of literally just being regular people.

A lot of times people insist you need to Find Your Heritage in order to "heal yourself spiritually", which I think is insulting nonsense. And as a mutt with no real intention of finding out my family history, it's really disconcerting to be told that I can't ever really love or understand the place I live, because my great-great grandparents didn't live here. It's extremely anti-immigrant, it reeks of blood and soil nationalism, and I will be ranting against it until the day this website dies.

[redysetdare]

All this aroace character shipcourse has proven to me that a majority of people that interact in fandom cannot actually interact with characters and media outside of shipping and genuinely I believe you need to learn how to interact with media outside of shipping.