#the talks about community vs the desire to find a better life for yourself vs needing said community to be your true self

[just-a-ghost00]

Crush series - Compatibility test : your kinks vs their kinks (18+)

Minors do not interact.

Group 1

For you my group 1 I intuitively channeled the song Alibi as I picked your picture on Pinterest. Maybe some of you have struggled with intimacy in the past and/or were surrounded by abusive people. You may have struggled with finding beauty in yourself, feeling cared for and valued, setting boundaries. If that is your case, first of all I am sorry that you had to go through all of this. Second of all, then this could be a confirmation you picked the right group.

Your kinks - The World, The Hierophant, The High Priestess

You like to be adored, to be put on a pedestal. In the ideal version of how your sexual life should be, you want to feel powerful and in control of what is going on in the bedroom. You would rather keep your sexual life private. So exhibitionism or sharing your intimate moments online are definitely out of the equation. You want to feel safe and nurtured. But most importantly you want to see in your person's eyes that not only are you important to them but you are their world. You want your partners to keep their eyes on you and treat you as a goddess. You want to be pampered, to be praised, to be venerated. You like to be courted. Your kinks involve being fully clothed or wearing expensive outfits and jewelry. Things that your partner would have provided for you. You likely want to be on top physically or feel like you are on top of things. You want your partner to answer your every request. You would definitely instore a safe word. Also, some of you may be reliigious. So you would want your partner to keep their distances until marriage/commitment. You want to be romanced, wined and dined. You want your partner to be respectful of your boundaries and also adaptable. You would best be compatible with someone that is open minded, that likes to explore new things in the bed room and shares your values and desires. You would want your partner to read you like a book. Some of you may enjoy travel sex, car sex.

Their kinks - 3 of swords, 9 of swords, The Emperor

I think it is safe to say that this person's priority wouldn't be their partner's pleasure. They don't like giving up control. They want to possess and to dominate. This person is into BDSM, fast and rough sex, mind games, dirty talking. They honestly enjoy torture. They would probably overstimulate their partner or keep going even if the person was exhausted and couldn't handle it anymore... They care about their own pleasure more than that of others. They are a taker. They are an abuser. I don't know how to put it any other way. They enjoy mental anguish. They would enjoy keeping people guessing, flirting through texts or phone calls. They are the type to take their partner by surprise or in their sleep. They litterally view their partner as a toy. Do I need to elaborate or you get the picture? I really don't like this person's energy. I can't think of any positive thing to say about their kinks.

Compatibility test result : 0%, this person would make you so unhappy and you deserve better than that.

Group 2

Since I had picked up intuitively on songs for the other two groups, I asked my guides to point me toward a song that could be relevant to you. Punching bag is a song that expresses the tiredness and frustration we may feel when the people surrounding them aren't being mindful of their words and actions, when they are either subcounsciously or consciously walking over us and disrespecting our boundaries, when they are being harsh on us and belittle or bring us down. If that is something you relate to, then this is your sign you picked the right group.

Your Kinks - Ace of swords, 2 of swords, Emperor

Communication and spiritual/mental connection are major factors in your relationships. Your ideal version of intimacy involves words of affirmation, praising, dirty talk, mental stimulation. Foreplay matters to you more than the actual act. You are the type of person that enjoys sexting, teasing phone calls and possibly sending nudes to your partner. For you, sex must be aerial, lighhearted and make you feel like you are touching the sky. You enjoy trying risky positions or positions that are somewhat artistic, that need a good balance. You also enjoy switching roles and positions, though you prefer to be in control. You enjoy giving and receiving oral. You have a fascination for the genital area and this is likely to be the part of the body you would be focusing on the most or would like for your partner to focus on. Breathplay could also be a thing you're into. The throat and the mouth seem to be significant to you. Those could be erogenous zones you enjoy teasing or being teased. Hickeys also. You may like to leave marks on your person's body and have them leave marks on yours that show who you belong to. You could tend to be a bit possessive and jealous. For you, sex could be a way to keep the upper hand in a relationship. If you are the type to be rather submissive in your daily life, you tend to balance that out by being more controling and demanding in the bed room. You are the embodiment of the saying "lady in the streets, freak in the sheets". You could like mind games to some extent. You could also be into blindfolds. You may prefer a partner that is a bit dominant and challenges you for power without being forceful about it.

Their kinks - Page of cups, 7 of cups, Knight of wands

Your crush is a major giver and a romantic at heart. Nothing to them matters more than feeling a deep and meaningful emotional connection with their partner. To them, sex is first and formost an demonstration of love. Thus, their main priority is for their partner to enjoy the experience as much as possible and to feel cared for in their arms. They are quite the charmer. They ally a good mixture of cockiness and gentleness that makes intimate moments feel like a moment of bliss. This person has a thing for fluids of all kinds. Obviously, that includes saliva, semen, even sweat. They could be into shower/bath/jacuzzi/beach sex. This person could also enjoy having a bit of liquid courage before doing the deed. When they are sober, they may be extremely shy so getting a little buzzed could help them channel their inner fire. I don't see this person getting drunk to the point of not being conscious and forgetting it all afterwards. On the contrary, they want to remember every single detail. They also enjoy their partner being vulnerable and emotional. One of their kinks could be to be intimate with virgins or people that are younger than them. They like the "damsel in distress" type of people. People that seem very innocent and submissive. They tend to be more of the dominant type but they would definitely be willing to hand over some control if that makes their partner happy. If they're dominant, they're a soft dom. They like passionate sex that makes them lose their breath and be all sweaty. This person tends to get a bit hasty when they are aroused. They could be the type to whine or moan, maybe even cry of happiness at how good they feel with their partner.

Compatibility test results : 80 to 95%, this person would want to put you first no matter what, they feel genuine and communicative but they maybe wouldn't be as mentally and verbally stimulating as you wish.

Group 3

I have no idea why but upon seeing the picture I picked for you on Pinterest, I immediately thought of The Grinch lmao That might be one of your favorite animated movies or your crush's favorite. Definitely tell me in the comments if that is your case!

Your kinks - 2 of pentacles, 6 of wands, 9 of cups

You enjoy having to work for it. But you also like when your partner is being encouraging and reassures you. You're into praises and pet names. You enjoy switching roles and positions. You are fine with being both dominant and submissive. You're a bit of an adventurer when it comes to intimacy. You are curious and daring. Foreplay is definitely a thing that turns you on. You also like to feel a bit foggy or dreamy during sex. So maybe you could enjoy getting drunk with your partner before. You want to feel emotionally connected to your partner. You're into body fluids as well as water or other liquids. You may enjoy a partner that's a bit resistant, that doesn't show affection easily in their daily life but would be vulnerable only with you, in the most intimate moments. You like to get under your person's skin. 69 might be a position you enjoy. Missionary as well. You might enjoy to be woken up with sex in the middle of the night or to have sex when you've just woke up. You could be into tantra and other sensual practices that could help you connect with your partner through dreams. You enjoy fantasizing about your partner more than you enjoy being intimate with them. The waiting phase or the uncertainty before the moment is something that turns you on. You may be into orgasm denial. You may also like to go back and forth for several rounds until you are sleepy. I feel like you would go with whatever your partner wants as long as they are pleased with you and the connection.

Their kinks - knight of pentacles, 9 of pentacles, King of pentacles

Your crush is both a taker and a giver but they lean more on the giver type. They are quite reserved and uptight but when it comes to intimacy they go all out. To them sex is essential to a relationship for it to be prosperous. They give it a lot of care and importance. They view it as a duty and an honor. They take this responsibility very seriously. They tend to take their time and increase intensity gradually. They enjoy sex that is deep and rich, very earthy and sensual. For it is a grounding step in a couple's life. They may enjoy riding, whether they are the one on top or their partner is. They may have a breeding kink. They are not very communicative during sex. They envision sex as a dialogue between two bodies. Touch is really important to them. Through touch they express their satisfaction, their passion, their needs. They have a tough exterior that is hard to break but once you get under their skin they give you their all. Their arousal would mainly be seen in their eyes, through their fast movements or the tension in their body. They are the type to grunt, to grab and hold on tightly to the sheets or the bed. They want their partner to do the same. They enjoy positions that are stable and simple but efficient. So they are not the type to try out super flexible positions, though they could definitely carry you around without any problem. They enjoy chair sex, desk sex, work sex. Also travel sex, car sex. They could enjoy outdoors sex. They definitely are a hard worker but they also like to make their partner work for their attention.

Compatibility test results : 75 to 80 %, I feel like this person would satisfy you to some extent and make you feel safe but they seem a bit too rigid and old school for the curious spirit that you are, also they maybe wouldn't be able to provide as much emotional satisfaction as you need.

[psychelis-new]

pick a pile: "What do you bring to your relationships"

take a breath and choose the photo/number that calls you the most to read about what are the values and positive traits you bring to the relationships you have or will have (romantic, platonic, friends, family, job/school-related...). I might come back on this subject to take more accurate looks on specific relationships' types (friendships VS romantic VS work...) in the future.

don’t take the reading too seriously. only take what resonates with you and leave the rest. remember that is a general reading and some things may not resonate with you. also, you're in charge of your life.

(photos found on unsplash)

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pile 1

You bring insights. You are able to help those around you to gain more knowledge. You bring change and determination, an agile mind, ambition and development. You help people find solutions or develop projects and ideas. You are supportive. You also bring stability and balance: you may block the excessive energy of someone to turn the attention towards those who are more reserved. In your group, you're the one in charge of making everyone feel known, taken into consideration and appreciated. You listen to everyone. You bring in the ability to heal. You are not scared of the dark sides of others, you kinda see them right away, but you don't judge, you just want to help those people see them and heal themselves. You bring love and courage to the people you meet. You may not have all the answers, but you're not scared to walk through the darkness to find some. You don't give up easily, and want to pass this feelings to others too. Everyone grows affectionate of you. Just beware of not fall into people pleasing habits: take care of yourself. Honestly, for most of you, the energy is of someone who doesn't have a large group of friends right now. Many may be falling in love with you or you have a lot of people trying to get to know you, especially romantically. It's like, you're their dream/desire. You'll probably are/will be your partner biggest wish come true.

songs: burst into flames | cavale; wolf like me | tv on the radio

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pile 2

You bring diversity, and different point of view. You bring enthusiasm. You bring forgiveness, openness about feelings. You bring the ability to see the best in the worst. You are the one that usually cheers others up when they feel at their worst, helping them see the bright side. You bring hope. You are able to talk about emotions, dreams, with no fear of sort. You are also good with words. You are creative (may even like to write, for example), nurturing. You are also reckless, sometimes. You help your friends and dear ones to stand up for themselves and be confident about who they are, but not just them: you literally fight for those who cannot fight for themselves. You have a very good heart. You know that minds play a huge role into our lives and how we can transform them and ourselves, how we can learn to live better, and you want to be a rock, an example for others. You may even have psychic powers, which would help you see through others' needs and answer them. You are someone that will never let down others when they need support, no matter what. Also, you may like to stick to your word: if you know you cannot keep your promise, you won't actually make any promise, but if you can, you'd go lenghts to keep it. As in a romantic situation, I feel like you'll bring communication and lot of affection too. Maybe surprises as well (your person will love to spoil you and see your face, they'll like your child-like energy).

songs: i'll be there | the parlotones; only you | notorius b.i.g., 112, mase

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pile 3

You bring purification. You help people gain new perspective on things/issues/life. You bring guidance, but in a different ways from the other piles. It's like, you work on a more spiritual/teaching level. You may bring lessons yourself to others. And vice versa. You help people reach the end of tribulations, you kind accompany them in their journey, offering support. You bring them a new feeling of completion, and the realization that they have it all inside of them. All they need is there. You take care of their fears, help them manifest something different, their wishes. And they do, without even realizing how. It's like you're magic. And you don't even know. You too don't even see all that you do (sorry, I hope you can now see that tbh). You literally help others take action and change, take them by the hand and never leave until you know they can move on their own. So lovely of you! It may go the same way in your romantic relationship tbh: I feel you bring growth and healing, changing through love, and in particular through the most intimate/physical part of relationships. You may be a healer, maybe you practice reiki (touch is important, either physical or as "touching others souls"). You basically see souls around, especially the wounded ones, and you love to take care of them as long as you can, in any way you can. Please, just remember to love yourself too.

songs: let's go home together | hella henderson, tom grennan; all of me | john legend

[hayqueen]

I’m kinda confused, is there a difference between reality shifting, law of attraction and law of assumption?

(long response ahead lol)

to be honest i’m not sure what the reality shifting is really about because i never read such posts on here. therefore i won’t be able to speak on it.

the only idea of reality shifting i have is the one that’s like an astral projection thing that got pretty popular years ago that even i almost got into. it overall consists of literally scripting a specific reality (usually with fictional characters) then making yourself shift into it while your physical body stays in this reality resting or literally living life normally until you “come back to it” because it says that there is no linear sense of time. some of the things in this version of reality shifting is actually found in manifestation (i can make a post explaining it) but the one i described doesn’t have anything to do with manifesting overall as far as i know.

when it comes to Law of Attraction (LOA) vs Law of Assumption (LOASS).

you might find some people in the manifestation community refer to both of them simultaneously. overall they both teach manifestation. i’ve mentioned Law of Attraction in my posts before because it was my first ever encounter with the topic of manifestation. i personally find Law of Attraction to have limiting beliefs and somewhat outdated views that distorts manifestation to people (i know multiple with not so great experiences that now switched to LOASS).

so there are quite some differences:

✦ overall Law of ATTRACTION teaches you that the Universe is in charge of bringing you your manifestation, to which you have to surrender and allow to bring your desires. if it doesn’t deliver then that means Universe has something greater in store for you planned.

basically where the “this or something better” affirmation comes from. the notion that some things are just “not meant to be 🤷‍♀️”

✧ meanwhile Law of ASSUMPTION on the other hand tells you that you’re the operant power in your reality. you’re the creator so what you assume to be true is what will be. you are limitless, whatever you mainly believe - goes.

also seen some shame surrounding manifesting SPs in Law of Attraction communities because there is no such idea as EIYPO (everyone is you pushed out). therefore other people have free will in your reality and some would say it’s “karmic” to try and do anything about that. or that they’re simply not on the same “vibrational frequency as you” anymore once you elevate your thinking.

speaking of terminology… there are plenty of buzz words in both communities that kinda overlap. in Law of Attraction you’ll often hear “frequency” and “vibration” used interchangeably. translated into Law of Assumption words it’s basically talking about your state!

★ vibration = predominant state of being, your main thoughts and assumptions

★ frequency = how often you come back to that state, which then allows you to manifest in the 3D

also in Law of Attraction you’ll usually find certain rules attached to how the manifestation process goes and overall put quite some importance on “signs”

like: “something bad has to happen first as a test before you get your manifestation” or “Universe will speak to you through music lyrics which is a sign you’re manifestation is near” etc.

in Law of Assumption you basically experience what you believe you will. it all depends on what you assume. if you even become aware that you keep seeing the same words everywhere then you’ll see more of that lol. your 3D is your mirror, it reflects your 4D at all times.

that’s my perspective on this ❀

[femmefatalevibe]

Hi! How to balance being your own person and doing what you want without chasing a guy and being submissive? And is it possible to act submissive without really giving up full control? And/or what are your thoughts on feminine energy as being submissive? Thank you so much! 💓

Hi love! The short answer is: Absolutely. To expand a bit, here are some of my thoughts on this topic:

Importance of Interdependence (vs. Codependence)

Interdependence (the idea of strengthening your sense of self, acknowledging your needs, and helping others you love to do the same) is essential to a healthy sense of self and relationships. The more you work on bettering yourself, the more attuned you become to your own needs – which sometimes only can be truly satisfied by interactions or support of other people. Make sure to feel secure in yourself and cultivate a life of your own before getting into a relationship or dating for commitment. Focus on your career, health, friendships, family, hobbies, and goals to help you refine your values and daily routines/habits. Learning about yourself will help you discover your standards/needs in a relationship or partner. Use these needs as your roadmap to help you see whose values/lifestyle/love language(s)/needs are compatible with your own.

Codependence is the opposite of interdependence – when you rely on someone to "complete" you or fulfill, rather than complement/enhance, your own needs and desires. If you're seeing someone who will make your life whole or be your "other half," you're seeking out a codependent relationship, which will leave you in a submissive position where your autonomy, voice, resources, and social support can be restricted. Run at any controlling/love-bombing red flags.

Thoughts on Being "Submissive" in A Relationship

A relationship should be a partnership. Outside of the bedroom (if that's what you're into), power dynamics are a sign of control and manipulation. Aside from fulfilling a kink or erotic desire, the reason that being submissive in the bedroom can be a green flag is that it implies complete trust, respect, and clear communication between two consenting individuals. Generally speaking, relationships are about equity – not domination and submission (this is a patriarchal concept that continuously gets repackaged to hinder our progress as women). Equity doesn't mean going 50/50 on finances or housework necessarily but finding a balance in every area of a relationship that is mutually beneficial to both parties.

Feminine Energy & Submissive Tendencies

Personally, I perceive feminine energy as a source of power, strength, determination, and creativity. In my eyes, learning to let go is an essential aspect of embracing your feminine energy:

Learning to relish in pleasure

Accepting love, support, and help as needed

Giving yourself time to relax and for self-care

Finding ways to feel grounded and pleased with yourself daily

Engaging in positive self-talk

Maintain a support system and remain present to engage with your primary circle of influence (friends, chosen family, mentors, etc.)

Allow yourself to feel comforted and provide space for self-acceptance/growth

It is powerful to see yourself as human and cultivate interdependent ties to embrace your feminine side. This is a sign of strength, not submission.

Hope this helps xx

[dropintomanga]

Wotakoi - Coming Out vs. Concealment for Otaku

When it comes to identifying yourself as a nerd/otaku/geek, there hasn’t been a better time to do so. We’re in the age where geeks have inherited the Earth to a major degree. Despite the growing acceptance of all things nerdy, there are people who don’t want to reveal their inner geek to others around them. This subject gets addressed in the very last volume of Fujita’s Wotakoi: Love Is Hard for Otaku.

Way back in the 1st volume of Wotakoi, Narumi Momose doted on Hirotaka Nifuji over her ex-boyfriends. All of them dumped her once she told them that she was an otaku. Narumi lamented her bad choices until Hirotaka makes the bold move of asking to be her boyfriend due to both of them being otaku. Narumi accepts with little hesitation after Hirotaka offers to help work on her Comiket booth. Narumi and Hirotaka carry on as a couple without anyone knowing about their otaku hobbies (with a few notable exceptions).

Narumi’s fear of rejection over being an otaku comes to a head near the finale of the series when she accidentally drops a pile of BL doujinshi at her office with her co-workers seeing them. A visibly distraught Narumi tries to talk to Hirotaka about her concern of being outed as an otaku at work. Hirotaka says it shouldn’t matter, only to bring up Narumi’s past pain with her first boyfriend rejecting her because of her otaku hobbies. Narumi feels it’s best to not let anyone know, but Hirotaka insists that she tells everyone at the office. Narumi yells at Hirotaka to drop the subject and the latter tells her sarcastically that she’s clearly more experienced in handling the problem than he is due to his own lack of interpersonal growth. Their first real fight as a couple leads Narumi down a path where she realizes that being stuck in her own head and fears led her to forgetting that Hirotaka is the one person who’s willing to help her when she’s in distress.

A while back, I read an article about coming out as members of the LGBTQ+ community and the nuance of whether to come out or not. The article discussed how some people may choose to conceal their sexual identity with very good reasons. Sometimes, the environment they’re in is hostile. Harassment of all kinds is sadly a thing despite growing acceptance. There’s also the fact that not everyone will understand and appreciate why someone might conceal their sexual identity in the 1st place. 

You can apply disclosure of your identity towards topics like revealing your mental illness and fandom. I sometimes have felt that once I told people who I thought were great friends my mental illness and fandom years before those topics became mainstream, I was slowly pushed aside for people who were more “normal” and had more popular interests at the time. Like how Narumi felt, that rejection still stings. Coming out personally brought a lot of anguish for me 20 years ago.

There’s also something Narumi said that made me think about coming out. While moping about Hirotaka trying to reason with her, she laments on why he doesn’t understand what she’s going through with regards to outing herself as an otaku. I think back to an online post called “I don’t want you to understand” (sadly, I can’t find it on Archive.org). It was a personal post from someone living with mental illness that they don’t want anyone to emphasize them and wouldn’t want anyone to hear about their struggles. All they really want in the end is for someone to just be there and be willing to stick by them through the worst of times. 

Narumi gets flashbacks of Hirotaka being there for her throughout her life and she sees that she’s letting her personal drama get the best of her. All of a desire to feel understood. It’s fine to seek validation for your thoughts and feelings, but people understanding your problems doesn’t mean that they can solve them for you. Wanting to be understood is often a result of poor self-esteem, which Narumi had regarding her self-confidence in her otaku nature. Plus, not everyone’s meant to be alike no matter what common interests we share. Hirotaka points this out to Narumi when they eventually make up and he explains that through genuinely listening to one another and being present with them no matter what, emotional wounds can heal.

Narumi does out herself as an otaku to her co-workers and much to her surprise, they aren’t bothered by it. One of her co-workers even points out that times have changed for acceptance of otaku in Japanese society. Narumi believes Hirotaka and her friends really helped gave her the courage to take that step to accept herself as an otaku towards people she cares about. While she won’t share her interests to just anyone, Narumi realizes that the people who do care about her will accept all parts of her.

It’s hard to come out as a closet (insert identity) or make a good decision to do so when you’re in some kind of crisis or feel as if you’re in one. You have to be in a really good place mentally to talk about it, just like Narumi with her disclosure about her otaku identity. I know from experience, one of the worst things you can do is overwhelm someone about your pain without giving them any context. I remember a time where I was rejected by someone I was close with and I doted on a friend of theirs I didn’t know well. I came out to them about my mental illness without a care because I was so sad. They replied that they didn’t need to know that. We never really spoke again after that. While it looks like I talk a lot about my condition on my blog, I don’t really talk about my mental illness to people in real life and/or am not willing to disclose a great deal of information about it. I’ll save that conversation for people I really want in my life.

The author Fujita stressed in a interview with Kodansha USA that she wanted to talk about Narumi’s internal struggle over otaku acceptance for the longest time, so I’m glad that she focused on it at the end of the series. I look at Narumi’s case and I think everyone has to decide for themselves on when to out themselves as proud members of a community that’s considered stigmatized. You can’t just force someone to do it all just because the pros outweigh the cons. I now wonder if Fujita wanted to talk about how otaku often struggle with internal doubt and how they need to let unconditional love (when it comes) open their perspective to new ways of thinking.

Like how Narumi’s friends (and the cast of Wotakoi) show, it takes all kinds of people combined with love to help make the decision of hiding vs. showing not so stressful.

Much love to Fujita for writing Wotakoi. I just got the complete U.S. box set after reading the series through copies I borrowed from my local library over the years. I’m very excited to see her next work! (which I hear will explore LGBTQ+ themes with regards to gender dysphoria)

[stormblessed95]

Hello Storm. I love your blog and it has helped me many times when I needed to find sources of content and specific information. Thank you for maintaining this archive of Jikook and BTS-related content, as well as keeping up healthy fandom discussions.

This could be a strange topic but I'd like to talk about "shipper" vs "supporter". I've seen your discussion on the topic and believe most Jikookers share your opinion. I find myself in the minority, feeling that "supporter" is not a well-fitted self-description. "Supporter" to me seems odd since there is no 100% confirmed relationship to support, no matter how likely I think it is. On the other hand, if "supporter" simply means I support their relationships and life choices in general regardless of who they are with, then I am not specifically just a Jikook supporter. I would be also a Jimin supporter, Jungkook supporter, supporter of all members of BTS, etc. I wonder if it is just me being pedantic, or I am not understanding the real reasoning behind the choice of word.

If I absolutely have to choose, I feel like "a shipper who respects boundaries" could possibly describe me better. I do have a soft spot for their interactions, I just have no twisted desire to dictate the interpersonal relationships of other people. However, I have the feeling that deliberately choosing to call myself a "shipper" would almost guarantee misunderstandings whether within or outside Jikooker circles, so I end up avoiding either words entirely😂

Hi, thanks for the kind words. Here is my post on the topic for you/anyone else if they haven't seen it so that I'm not repeating myself

In all honestly, im so over the shipper community at this point, I'm just going to call myself a jikook lover at and leave it at that. Lmfao feel free to also call yourself the same if you want! I think a lot of people forget, as I've gotten quite a few angry jkkrs in my ask box as well these past few days along with just in general when I talk about other duos (specifically one) too, that I am an OT7 army first, a yoonmin biased army second, and a jikook lover or "supporter" third. This mini rant isn't directly at YOU anon, just an in general reminder. Lol

As for me, when I do say supporter, it's what I described in the post above. "Jikook" is also just their duo name. It's supporting their possible/probable relationship, it's supporting their friendship, it's supporting them individually. It's support without expectations to be fulfilled. And honestly, I don't care how you chose to label yourself lol. It's just a label. I care about how you behave and your actions in relation to the guys. So if you have respectable boundaries and you have their best interest in heart and you aren't being shady to them or anyone else? Call yourself a shipper to your hearts content! And that goes for a shipper of any capacity. From taekookers to namgists, to jikookers and taejinnies, to ot7 poly truthers. Don't be hateful, don't be shady, respect everyone's boundaries. And then therefore I'm fine with whatever and it won't bother me.

[m0tel6mxzzy]

idk how to explain but i swear there is nothing “youthful” and thus inherently attractive abt being a girl who is suffering mental illness.

i feel like being 19, you’re hit with the realization you are finally adult and are either forced to manage your internal battles w mental illness and what you can control in terms of how you treat yourself and others vs creating spaces where you can harm yourself and others and perpetuate the idea that cassie feeling so alone and isolated in her disorder was something attractive.

i look at myself from ages 12-17 and i do not miss her for her sickness. i miss her because i am now trying to build a better life for her, who is now myself. i do not miss her for the fact that she was struggling silently with zero resources to assist her mental issues attractive or desireable. i find it sad that i was too young to understand i was deserving of help and that if you have to ask yourself if something is bad enough, it usually is.

you can put on a confident online façade, but it is very obvious when ur a pro ed/sh account hidden under a pretty aesthetic that occasionally cross tags, you are hurting. no one thinks you’re effy stonem and cool and calm and collected. people think you need help but have little resources, but that it is no excuse to encourage any sort of toxicity toward others esp to online communities that have nothing to do w that.

i bring up age bc usually when it comes to characters glamorized for dealing with mental illness manifesting itself in maladaptive behaviors, it’s often young women, usually white and between their late teens to early 20s being glamorized rather than older people or poc.

speaking as a black girl, we often do not get the luxury of glamorizing our illnesses as in older black generations, their mental health was largely ignored in favor of resiliency during civil rights and many of them internalized that and passed that emotional suppression onto their children.

i felt that firsthand which is why it took so long for my family to even grapple with the fact i struggled mentally. it just wasn’t talked about unless in “extreme” circumstances where it could no longer be ignored.

tldr: literally nothing cute or romantic abt “being” cassie howard and daisy randone but devoid of the personalities they had. these were very sensitive, traumatized girls and cassie was able to rise above and recover while daisy sadly did not have a strong enough support system.

[thecpdiary]

Distancing Yourself from Envy

Envy can be considered a poisonous emotion that can significantly impact relationships. If you know someone who is envious, there may be times when it's best to keep your distance.

Envy

We know envy is an emotion that occurs when a person lacks another's superior quality, achievement, or possession and either desires it or wishes that the other lacked it. It is often characterised by feelings of discontent, resentment and longing and can cause negative behaviour.

Here are some signs and reasons why maintaining distance or taking a break might be beneficial: Persistent Negative Feelings

If you consistently feel negative emotions as a result of another person's envy, and you feel resentment and bitterness, it might be a sign to take a step back. Comparison Trap

If you find the other person constantly compares your achievements and life to them, and it’s affecting your self-esteem and happiness, again keeping your distance can help. Impact on Self-Worth

When envy leads to a significant drop in your self-worth or makes you feel less valuable, distancing yourself can provide the space needed to rebuild your confidence and self-esteem. Strained Relationship

If the envy is causing tension, arguments, and a breakdown in communication between you and the other person, it will be healthier to take a break. Reasons for Keeping Your Distance It's Time to Focus on Personal Growth

Keeping your distance, means you can focus on your own goals, strengths and achievements without the distraction of envy, of comparisons. Temporary Distance

Temporary distance can help prevent further damage. Separation and reflection can help with personal growth and is sometimes all it takes to understand your journey vs another person's journey. Envy and jealousy comes from a lack of self-worth and confidence. Mental Health

Envy can lead to stress, anxiety and in some circumstances, if it's left unchecked, depression. Reducing exposure to triggering situations through better mental health is crucial.

Rediscovering Appreciation

Through self-reflection you can rediscover positive aspects of your own life, fostering a sense of gratitude and contentment. How to Maintain Distance Respectfully Set Boundaries

Clearly define your boundaries. Limit Social Media

Reduce the time spent on social media platforms where you might see posts that highlight envy. Engage in Self-Care

Focus on activities that bring you peace. Seek Support

Talk to a therapist about how you feel. They can offer perspective and support as you navigate your emotions. Gradual Re-connection

If and when it's right for you, and it's mutual, you can gradually reconnect with the person, ensuring that the relationship is based on mutual respect and positivity. Keeping your distance from someone who is envious, or it could even be you, is about giving yourself the space needed to heal and grow. It's a proactive step towards maintaining your wellbeing and preserving the relationship in a healthier, more balanced way.

For more relatable, inspirational, lifestyle blogs, please check out my site https://www.thecpdiary.com

[wanderthroughtheruins]

started watching reservation dogs and i just have so many thoughts i don't even know where to start, i just love it so much pqp

[logicalbookthief]

Christmas Movies Ranked by How Anti-Capitalist They Are

It’s a Wonderful Life

Movies that make you want to pick a fight with the 1% and also weep with joy. Absolutely a classic and anti-capitalist at its very core. Will convince you we need to start oppressing landlords again.

“Just remember this, Mr. Potter, that this rabble you're talking about... they do most of the working and paying and living and dying in this community. Well, is it too much to have them work and pay and live and die in a couple of decent rooms and a bath? Anyway, my father didn't think so. People were human beings to him. But to you, a warped, frustrated old man, they're cattle.”

SAY THAT!!! George Bailey said fuck landlords, all my homies hate landlords, they have NO rights. Local man believes poor people are human, dedicates his life to helping them, and in his time of the need literally the whole town comes together to support him and his family. Class solidarity ftw!

“Remember no man is a failure who has friends.” Bitch I CRY EVERY GODDAMN TIME. 

10/10

Home Alone

Soundtrack goes hard, the wacky hijinks even harder. 

Loses points because the bandits had a prime opportunity to seize and redistribute some of the wealth from this ritzy Chicago neighborhood and instead they focus their energy on trying to kill an 8-year-old who outsmarts them at every turn.

2/10

Elf

A family favorite in our house. Touches on the overworking and mistreatment of employees through Greenway Press – Walter forced to choose between being with his family on Christmas Eve or losing his job, it’s implied Deb has a pet grooming business on the side to makes ends meet despite being a receptionist at a NY publishing company, etc.

Honestly most of the points come from Jonie’s underrated yet highly relatable storyline. She works in retail, exhausted and cynical towards the high-paced Christmas season which gives her little to no relief or reward, since she’s surviving on ramen noodles and using the employee showers because her water was cut off. Not expanded on enough to be considered a true Marxist piece but the effort is appreciated.

5/10

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer

Although the meme is correct in that Rudolph’s red nose becomes desirable only once it proves to be useful, it does get points for exposing the harmful nature of forced conformity and those alienated by these capitalist ideals -- Rudolph, Hermie, the island of misfit toys -- are given a place to belong despite the perceived “flaws” that before made them undesirable.

Also the elves definitely have a free dental-plan now thanks to Hermie and are hopefully on their way to unionizing. Fucking superb you funky little misfit.

6/10

Klaus (2019)

Turns a member of the bourgeoisie into a man I’d trust to carry my mail. Respect for postal workers this movie contains was ahead of its time.

 No direct takedown of the establishment but a heartwarming message -- “A true selfless act always sparks another” bITCH I may be crying -- that emphasizes the importance of giving to others even when there is no selfish motivation to do so, which is inherently anti-capitalist.  

8/10

The Santa Clause

Scott Calvin starts as a toy executive who takes part in the commercialization of Christmas. He was probably a business major so automatically loses points.

The Santa dynasty itself seems to operate under the cutthroat rules of the business world where you must overthrow (or in this case, throw him off the roof) the former CEO in order to seize power. 

Elves have not unionized or seized the means of production by the end.

0/10

A Christmas Carol 

THE ORIGINAL. Charles Dickens was not even in the neighborhood of fucking around with this one. CREATED the anti-capitalist Christmas genre!!

Rich man treats his employees like shit and gets terrorized by three ghosts on Christmas Eve. Force him to redistribute his wealth by dragging him through a montage of his most epic fails -- oh, hey, remember when your fiancé left you? -- and make him listen as all his employees and relatives complain about his stingy ass. 

They end this slideshow by throwing this dude into his own grave. DIRECT ACTION. 

Like damn, the ghosts really said, “If you hoard your resources and ignore those in need when you could directly improve/save lives with no cost to yourself, you will die ALONE and you WILL pay for your crimes in hell.” Literally watching this movie is a catharsis for anyone who is or has been poor and working class. 

I’m including all versions of this movie but a special shout out to the Muppet version because it fucks the hardest. 

100/10

How the Grinch Stole Christmas (2000)

Listen I’m not even in realms of joking with this one. This movie is THE anti-capitalist film of the holiday season. 

WhoVille commercializing Christmas and a fixation on consumer culture to the point where anything and anyONE who cannot be commodified -- aka the GRINCH -- is alienated? The Whos rediscovering that people should be cherished over material items once it all is stolen and they must confront how empty the holiday has become??

Cindy Lou becoming disillusioned in Christmas -- at an age that coincides when many children (those who celebrate Christmas at least) lost belief in Santa and had to wrestle with what the holiday means with the magic gone and they’re more aware of the rampant consumerism that taints the season?? Her resolve to find a meaning that goes beyond material consumption because if a holiday founded on goodwill doesn’t extend that goodwill to everyone, even those society deems undesirable, then what’s the point???

The Grinch despising Christmas because he is unable to participate and isolated from the Whos and also the better qualities within himself? His alienation serving to demonize him further as it allows the public to narrow his valid criticisms of the holiday down to him being different and thus inherently predisposed to evil?? And hmm isn’t it interesting that a LOT of this demonization comes via Mayor Augustus “generously paid for by the tax-payers of Whoville” Maywho, Mr. 1% himself.

The upper vs working class divide evident in the light show competition between Martha May and Betty Lou Who?? The opening scene of the shopping frenzy that mirrors our own consumerist culture and overworking of retail/poster workers??? This entire monologue:

“That's what it's all about, isn't it? That's what it's always been about. Gifts, gifts... gifts, gifts, gifts, gifts, gifts! You wanna know what happens to your gifts? They all come to me. In your garbage. You see what I'm saying? In your garbage. I could hang myself with all the bad Christmas neckties I found at the dump. And the avarice... the avarice never ends! ‘I want golf clubs. I want diamonds. I want a pony so I can ride it twice, get bored and sell it to make glue.’" 

MARXIST KING. MENTION IT ALL.

1000/10

[rutilation]

A Brief Meditation on Being Your Own Grandma and Drinking Your Own Blood

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.

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Well… that turned out to be a lie.  Guess all you need to reel me back in is reincarnation drama and a weird grandma.

In my July essay, I laid out the elements of the story I found frustrating, and had tentatively hoped that said elements might have… mellowed out?  Following the break?  I’d say this chapter actually doubled down on all of my gripes.  That lingering aftertaste of misanthropy is spelled out plain, Ayumu’s curt dismissal of her former allies feels like it’s also being directed at the supporting cast in the present, and Phos is still the only person motivated enough to make decisions or affect the story at all, and that was apparently the case long before they were even born.

As such, while I found this chapter to be captivating, and honestly a breath of fresh air… I’m not sure if I actually liked it or not?  Galling and intriguing in equal measure—that about sums up my experience reading HnK from the moon arc onward.

But, one thing that I do know I like?  How this adds an extra layer of ambivalence to Phos and Kongou’s relationship.  When Ayumu talks about her arrogance, I believe she’s referring to the path she set Kongou on.  Thanks to her prophetic dreams, she now knows she’s saddled him with an impossible task that will bring him terrible misery—and all for the sake of her own insecurity, her desire to leave a mark on the better world she’s banking her hopes on.  But by the time she knows enough to regret her choice, it’s far too late to change course.  All she can do is apologize to him in her final moments, and implore her future self to clean up the mess she will leave behind.

I think one of the most compellingly tragic aspects of Phos and Kongou’s relationship has been their ability to keep hurting each other all while neither one of them is truly more at fault.  That being the case, I didn’t like how the last arc ended with Kongou being put decisively in the wrong; it just felt out of character.  But, this chapter recontexualizes his complicity in Phos’s grizzly fate as… him faithfully honoring the wishes of Phos’s past self at the expense of their present self.  How do you even begin to untangle that?  This whole situation is messed up and completely unfair to both of them, which is exactly the kind of food I want when I eat out at The Sad Rock Buffet.

One could even argue there’s a certain cosmic justice in Ayumu paying for her hubris by growing up in the shadow of the generational trauma that she precipitated.  On one hand, I find the concept interesting, but on the other, it feels too late in the story to start ascribing justice or meaning to the slings and arrows of Phos’s life.

That covers the grandma part, but with regard to drinking your own blood…

A lot of the thoughts I had this month were about the story’s attitude towards relationships, about the love you give yourself vs the love you get from others.  I feel like the story’s perspective is that community is a powerful and uplifting force… for other people.  But outcasts like us, it seems to say, are up shit creek without a paddle.  Indeed, the story doesn’t seem to believe in honor amongst thieves, or solidarity amongst the marginalized.  Even someone who could conceivably empathize with your situation will always sell you out to better themselves when the chips are down.  Whatever love anyone else has to offer you is shallow and contingent.  Therefore, the only love fit to be called transcendent or divine is the love you show yourself after you’ve struggled through the mire of self-hatred.

It’s cynical and bleak, to an unrealistic extent, in my opinion.  But as I contemplated the story’s perspective, I started to interrogate my own. How do I feel about love, and the places it might come from?  Like many who give any thought to the matter, I think that the platitude “You can’t expect others to love you if you don’t love yourself,” is wrong, and a terrible thing to tell someone struggling with depression.  It’s through the perspective of others, after all, that we escape the quagmire of our own thought patterns, that our inner world opens up, and we come to acknowledge the possibility that others can see something in ourselves that we cannot.  That said, I don’t think inverse is true either.  Or at least, I don’t want it to be true because it’s scary and hopeless in its own way: “There’s no way to love yourself without the love of others.” There’s a million different ways in this life to fall through the cracks of society, or community, or family, and end up with no one to rely on but oneself.  For such people, they can’t afford to wait for self-love to blossom in its own time, nourished by the love of others.  It’s imperative to create that love ex nihilo, because the alternative is to look on helplessly as their emotional self dies.

After mulling it over, the conclusion I arrived at is that while people probably need each other in order to truly flourish, I do think it’s possible to at least subsist off of the love you give yourself.  But, I considered, it’s kind of analogous to drinking your own urine after you’ve spent weeks lost in the wilderness: you really never want things to get that bad.  But, you do what you must when your survival is at stake, whether that survival is physical or emotional.  As I was thinking this to myself it hit me: that’s the meaning behind Ayumu drinking her own blood. 

You pop an artery out of your heart, drain out your own lifeblood before putting it right back in via martini glass.  You’ve watched as your future self becomes just as alienated and miserable as you.  So, as you apologize to the son whose life you’ve ruined, you brush back your own hair, give yourself a tender kiss on the forehead, and tell them to burn everything down.  What exactly does burning everything down mean?  Can’t wait to find out.  Whatever it is though, I hope it pisses off Aechmea.

Some other stray thoughts:

That master scholar joke from chapter one hits different now, doesn’t it?  So does Kongou tasking Phos with an encyclopedia, for that matter.  Even if he probably didn’t put two-and-two together until Phos received the pearl eye, they quite possibly reminded him of Ayumu long before that point.

In light of all this blood symbolism, I’m of the opinion that a vampire Phos AU would be kinda hot, and I think the fandom should milk it for all its worth.

As heavily implied as it is, the concept of Phos being Ayumu’s reincarnation technically exists only in the realm of subtext.  But there’s one aspect of this chapter that makes me 100% sure that, at the very least, Ayumu knew she was speaking to Phos: she brushes their hair back before kissing their forehead—a pointless gesture when the person who’s physically in front of her is bald.  She would only have taken the time to do that if she knew that someone else was also there. Someone with greasy emo bangs.

I want my Wolf’s Rain ending to be real.  I want Phos to be like: “Sorry.  No dice.  Try again.” And then they send everyone’s souls back into the earth.  And then we cut to 50 million years later when the dominant species on the planet is sapient carpets of marine bacterial slime.  We all know that’s who you really want to write about, Ichikawa.

And the cutest slime of them all?  Phos.

I’ve seen people speculate that Phos’s pearl eye is the exact same one Ayumu used, but after looking closely at the panels, I don’t believe that to be the case: the pupil in Ayumu’s replacement eye is black, whereas the whole of the pearl in white.

There’s probably an additional metaphor to be found in the fact that a meal of potato chips and one’s own blood has to be the most efficient method for dehydration ever devised.  Truly, only someone Phos or Phos-adjacent could come up with it. 

Speaking of additional symbolism, I’ve seen people point out that this scene is possibly a reference to the Last Supper.  If so, it figures that while most people who didn’t grow up with the religion find the concept behind Catholic communion to be off-putting, Ichikawa apparently just… started taking notes.  “Hmm, this is nice.  But how can I make it even weirder and grosser?” she asked herself.  Queen shit.

I was curious as to whether there was any significance to Ayumu’s name.  After a little googling, I think that it’s quite apt.

Back a few years ago, I saw quite a few Fist of the North Star fans complaining about losing the hnk tag to our beloved manga.  These days, when I search hnk on twitter, I find myself assailed by posts about some kpop dude.  Truly, samsara comes for us all.

[thebibliosphere]

So I'm currently unemployed because I got fired for taking too much sick leave (it was legally sketchy blah blah blah but in the end I just can't work and take care of myself and investigate my mystery health problems at the same time). So I've been spending more time writing!

I really admire your writing and loved Hunger Pangs. I'm looking forward to the poly elements developing and I'm wondering if you have any advice for writing about poly. I've made one of my projects a snarky take on "write what you know" ... Apparently what I know is southern gothic meets Pacific northwest gothic, chronic illness pandemic surrealism, and falling back-asswards into threesomes.

I know this is a very open-ended question and I don't expect an answer, I'm just curious about it if you have the energy. As a writer, trying to write honestly / realistically about polyamory/enm, I'm curious if you have any thoughts on what's different about portraying monogamy or nonmonogamy in books, romance or erotica or otherwise.

I'm trying to read examples but it's hard to find examples that fit the niche I'm looking at. Excuse me if this question is nonsense, it's the cluster headaches.

I'm sorry to hear you've been dealing with all that and solidarity on the cluster headaches. But I'm glad you're finding an outlet through writing! And I hope you're happy with an open-ended ramble in response because oh boy, there's a lot I could talk about and I could probably do a better job of answering this sort of thing with more specific questions, but let's see where we end up.

There's definitely a big difference between writing polyamory/ENM (ethical non-monogamy) and what people often expect from monogamous love stories.

Just even from a purely sales and marketing standpoint, the moment you write anything polyamorous (or even just straight up LGBTQIA+ without the ENM) you're going to get considered closer to being erotica/obscene than hetero romances. It's an unfair bias, but it's one that exists in our society. But also the Amazon algorithm and their shitty, shitty human censors. Especially the ones that work the weekends. (Talking to you, Carlos 🖕.)

So not only do you start out hyper-aware that you're writing something that is highly stigmatized or fetishized (at least I'm hyper-aware) but that you are also writing for a niche market that is starving for positive content because the content that exists is either limited, not what they want, or is problematic in some fashion i.e. highly stigmatized or fetishy. And even then, the wants, desires, and expectations of the community you're writing for are complex and wildly varied and hard to fit into an easy formula.

When writing monogamous love stories, there is a set expectation that’s really hard to fuck up once you know it. X person meets Y. Attraction happens, followed by some sort of minor conflict/resolution. Other plot may happen. A greater catalyst involving personal growth for both parties (hopefully) happens. Follow the equation to its ultimate resolution and achieve Happily Ever After. 

But writing ENM is... a lot more difficult, if only because of the pure scope of possibilities. You could try to follow the same equation and shove three (or more) people into it, but it rarely works well. Usually because if you’re doing it right, you won’t have enough room in a single character arc to allow for enough growth, and if ENM requires anything in abundance, it’s room to grow.

And this post is huge so I’m going to put the rest under a cut :)

There's also a common refrain in certain online polyam/ENM circles that triads and throuples are overrepresented in media and they may be right to some extent. Personally, I believe the issue isn't that triads and throuples are overrepresented, but that there is such minuscule positive rep of ethical non-monogamy in general, that the few tiny instances we have of triads in media make it seem like it's "everywhere" when in actuality, it's still quite rare and the media we do have often veers into Unicorn Hunter fetish porn. Which is its own problematic thing. And just to be clear, I’m not including this part to dissuade you from writing "falling back-asswards into threesomes." If anything, I need more of it and would hook it directly into my brain if I could. I'm just throwing it out there into the void in the hope that someone will take the thought and run with it, lol.

I’d love to see more polyfidelitous rep in fiction, just as much as I’d like to see more relationship anarchy too. More diversity in fiction is always good.

Another thing that differs in writing ENM romance vs conventional monogamy is the feeling like you need to justify yourself. There's a lot of pressure to be as healthy and non-problematic as possible because you are being held to a higher standard of criticism. Both from people from without the ENM communities, and from the people within. Granted, some people don't give a shit and just want to read some fantastic porn (valid) but there are those who will cheerfully read Fifty Shades of Bullshit and call it "spicy" and "romantic," then turn around and call the most tooth-rottingly-sweet-fluff about a queer platonic polycule heresy. That's just the way the world works.

(Pro-tip for author life in general: never read your own reviews; that way madness lies. I glimpsed one the other day that tagged Hunger Pangs as “ethical cheating” and just about had an aneurism.)

And while that feeling of needing to justify yourself comes from a valid place of being excluded from the table of socially accepted norms, it can also be to the detriment of both the story and the subject matter at hand. I've seen some authors bend so far over backward to avoid being problematic in their portrayal of ENM, they end up being problematic for entirely different reasons. Usually because they give such a skewed, rose-tinted perspective of how things work, it ends up coming off as well... a bit culty and obnoxious tbh.

“Look how enlightened we are, freed from the trappings of monogamy and jealousy! We’re all so honest and perfect and happy!”

Yeah, uhu, sure Jan. Except here’s the thing, not all jealousy is bad. How you act on it can be, but jealousy itself is an important tool in the junk drawer that is the range of human emotion. It can clue us in to when we’re feeling sad or neglected, which in turn means we should figure out why we’re feeling those things. Sometimes it’s because brains are just like that and anxiety is a thing. Other times it’s because our needs are actually being neglected and we are in an unhealthy situation we need to remedy. You gotta put the work in to figure it out. Which is the same as any style of relationship, whether it’s mono, polyam or whatever flavor of ENM you subscribe to* And sometimes you just gotta be messy, because that’s how humans are. Being afraid to show that mess makes it a dishonest portrayal, and it also robs you of some great cannon fodder for character development.

Which brings me in a roundabout way to my current pet peeve in how certain writers take monogamous ideals and apply them to ENM, sometimes without even realizing it. The “Find the Right Person and Settle Down” trope.

Often, in this case, ENM or polyamory is treated as a phase. Something you mature out of with age or until you meet “The One(tm).” This is, of course, an attempt to follow the mono style formula expected in most romances. And while it might appeal to many readers, it’s uh, actually quite insulting. 

To give an example, I am currently seeing this a lot in the Witcher fandom. 

Fanon Netflix!Jaskier is everyone's favorite ethical slut until he meets Geralt then woops, wouldn’t you know, he just needed to find The One(tm). Suddenly, all his other sexual and romantic exploits or attractions mean nothing to him. Let's watch as he throws away a core aspect of his personality in favor of a man. 

Yeah... that sure showed those societal norms... 

If I were being generous, I’d say it’s a poor attempt at showing New Relationship Euphoria and how wrapped up people can become in new relationships. But honestly, it’s monogamous bias eking its way in to validate how special and unique the relationship is. Because sometimes people really can’t think of any other way to show how important and valid a relationship is without defining it in terms of exclusivity. Which is a fundamental misunderstanding of how ENM works for a lot of people and invalidates a lot of loving, serious and long-term relationships.

This is not to say that some polyam/poly-leaning people can't be happy in monogamous relationships! I am! (I consider myself ambiamorous. I'm happy with either monogamy or polyamory, it really just depends on the relationship(s) I’m in.) But I also don't regard my relationship with a mono partner as "settling down" or "growing up." It's just a choice I made to be with a person I love, and it's a valid one. Just like choosing to never close yourself off to multiple relationships is valid. And I wish more people realized that, or rather, I wish the people writing these things knew that :P

Anyway, I think I’ve rambled enough. I hope this collection of incoherent thoughts actually makes some sense and might be useful. 

----

*A good resource book that doesn't pull any punches in this regard is Polysecure by Jessica Fern. It's a wonderfully insightful read that explores the messier side of consensual non-monogamy, especially with how it can be affected by trauma or inter-relationship conflicts. But it also shows how to take better steps toward healthy, ethical non-monogamy (a far better job than More Than Two**) and conflict resolution, making it a valuable resource both for someone who is a part of this relationship style***, but also for writers on the outside looking in who might have a very simple or misguided idea of what conflict within polyam/ENM relationships might look like, vs traditional monogamous ones.

** The author of More Than Two has been accused of multiple accounts of abuse within the polyamorous community, with many of his coauthors having spoken out about the gaslighting and emotional and psychological damage they experienced while in a relationship with him. A lot of their stories are documented here: https://www.itrippedonthepolystair.com/ (warning: it is not light material and deals with issues of abuse, gaslighting, and a whole other plethora of Yikes.) While some people still find More Than Two helpful reading, there are now, thankfully, much, much better resources out there.

*** Some people consider polyam/ENM to be part of their identity or orientation, while others view it as a relationship style.It largely depends on the individual. 

[the-ghost-king]

About the cupid scene, Nico was forced to come out, but its also made very clear that Cupid is the bad guy. So is Aphrodite to an extent. They have a twisted and fundamental misunderstanding of love and how it works for mortals. I get that people could be mad about how Nico was forced to come out and putting him through more emotional trauma, but I also think its very realistic in showing how callous and cruel the gods understanding of love is.

I am reminded of the quote by Madeline Miller, "There is no law that gods must be fair..."

I also understand why the scene might be traumatic for other young LGBTQ+ readers, I've seen a lot of people talk about the fear of being outed in regards to them reading that scene as a kid. I completely respect their feelings on that, and I understand that as well. However, as someone who had been forcibly outed once before reading that scene, that scene really helped heal me. I don't think the Cupid scene is inherently homophobic, and I'm often bothered by the lack of nuance regarding around how it's handled.

I recognize it's a very emotional scene, and that people may have a hard time fully separating their emotions from that scene, but at the same time if there's a group of people saying "hey I understand why you disliked this scene but it was really helpful to me as a child because of the different experiences I had" maybe slow the breaks and hear what others also in the community have to say before determining if the scene is homophobic. You don't have to like the scene, and yeah maybe the scene did hurt you but that doesn't make it homophobic.

I want to specify on my word choice there a little closer, because of course outing someone is an act of homophobia, and the scene is homophobic in that sense. However often times the conversation about homophobia in this scene goes to "Rick was homophobic for writing this" where personally I would say this scene toes the line at being too far without ever crossing it. Some people may think this depiction crosses the line into "Rick was homophobic for writing this" which is fine, but just because something depicted homophobia and hurt you doesn't mean it was homophobic. Something doesn't have to out rightly be stated to be bad, in order to be read as bad*, and the Cupid scene does a wonderful job of depicting this.

I talk here about how Nico is shown what love is, and how love is treated by Nico, and how it affects his character. I think it's important to note that Nico's entire storyline can essentially be encompassed in an Orpheus-like or Odyssey-like tale. Nico's undergone this huge emotional and physical labor all in the name of having some form of unconditional love. I think that post is a really important read in the context of this one because I very carefully outline how love shapes Nico and how Nico shape and chooses his own definition of love, but I want to specifically dig into the Cupid scene on this post.

The big criticism often seen is "it's homophobic" which I covered above, and I want to clarify I'm not upset with or mad at or trying to tell anyone they can't dislike it or even say you can't say it's homophobic (my words on my one post are a bit off I'll admit) but the problem I have is when people believe they hold a moral high ground for thinking it's homophobic, or they remove all nuance from the discussion with "it's homophobic". Which is frustrating and annoying because it's a very complex scene, and it really changes Nico's arc and personality and it does help characterize him.

The big reason it shapes him so much is because of the other largest reason the scene is criticized, Cupid's behavior. What often fails to be recognized in those scenes is that Cupid is intentionally painted as the villain, this is very important to the scene.

In the context of this scene Nico makes an unspoken choice, a choice of "what is love to me?". I talk about how Nico claims his narrative in BoTL when he overcomes Minos, and he partially peaks that arc by convincing Gods to join the final battle of TLO. Following that arc however, Nico falls into his second arc, his crush on Percy was important in PJO, but not as important as it is in HoO.

By HoO Nico's entire character revolves around Percy, how to help Percy, how to aid Percy, etc. All of this has to do with Nico's crush on Percy, but also as an act of repayment because Nico hurt Percy- Nico lied to him about knowing him at New Rome in SoN, and he goes to Tartarus shortly after... This mirrors what Percy did after Hades tricked Nico... Percy choked Nico because he was upset with him, so Nico tried to win back Percy's affection by bathing him in the river.

The Cupid Scene is the resolution of Nico's arc, he is essentially given a choice- Cupid or Jason?

For this reason, we do see Nico recognize love for what it has been vs how it could be.

Cupid is there to represent what love is, to Nico love is brutal, and painful, and a lot of hard work... Nico has made himself utilitarian in love simply because it is the only way he can find any affection. Love to Nico is about flaying yourself for the benefit of others, to trample any and all parts of yourself simply to appease those you care for, because you want them to love you so much as you love them. The parallels I could draw between Nico and Orpheus, or Nico and Odysseus... I'd be here a long while...

In that scene Jason represents the alternative form of love which Nico chooses after his interaction with Cupid.

Jason says during the scene that he "preferred Piper's idea of love" which has to do with kindness and caring, etc, and then Jason becomes the embodiment of that idea during the scene- which showcases the alternative of what love can be, thus making Jason a personification of love in the context of that scene.

Jason looks to Nico, he doesn't ask for more, he simply looks to Nico with understanding and acknowledges him for who he is, and he does the exact opposite of what Nico expects:

Jason loves Nico where he is, without conditions, without forcing Nico to become something more. Jason didn’t force Nico to say more than what was necessary for him to understand, Jason looked at Nico and he called Nico brave.

Cupid is a more volatile form of love than Aphrodite, Cupid shoots arrows that makes people animals, that can make a god grow insane, but Aphrodite's form of love is about acceptance and humanity (think to how she picked Ares over Hephaestus even if it was perhaps "wrong")- both are about truth but one is about force and the other about acceptance.

When Nico walks out of there, he makes his choice- he is forced to come out yes, Cupid is wrong for doing this, but Jason again stays a figure of love in Nico's life. Jason basically says, "Good job, I know that was hard, thank you for sharing and let me know if you need anything, people will care about you and understand you," again and again and again to Nico, he doesn't tell Nico he has to come out, and he agrees to keep it between them for now. Jason is love as acceptance, Jason is the first person who unconditionally loves Nico, and that's the choice.

Will Nico accept unconditional love? If the answer is no, then Cupid wins and Nico is denying himself. If the answer is yes, then Jason and Nico win, and Nico no longer needs to make himself utilitarian in love in order to be loved.

The choice is made with Reyna and Hedge, most specifically Reyna.

When he accidentally comes out to them, and they accept him without making a big deal of it, without show, just that acknowledgement and "thank you for sharing" and Nico accepts their words and friendship still- Nico made his choice then to accept the love he was being freely given.

“He carried so much sadness and loneliness, so much heartache. Yet he put his mission first. He persevered. Reyna respected that. She understood that. She'd never been a touchy-feely person, but she had the strangest desire to drape her cloak over Nico's shoulders and tuck him in. She mentally chided herself. He was a comrade, not her little brother. He wouldn't appreciate the gesture.”

This is where we see the slow and steady, and healthy, end to Nico's arc in regards to love really grow into itself, and he begins to heal. He no longer sees such an intense need to make himself utilitarian for love, and he begins to heal from his internalized homophobia too.

(Internalized homophobia discussions with Nico also bother me too often times, people too often assume you can't date while struggling with internalized homophobia or at least very heavy handedly imply that which is just not true... You may have some issues in your relationship, but you can work through the internalized homophobia while building a new relationship and be just fine. Also to assume someone has an unhealthy relationship because of internalized homophobia is weird and lowkey reinforces the idea that "broken" people don't need love, but also does a huge disservice to so many LGBTQ+ people who are happily married/themselves but still struggle with these feelings, and to see a healthy relationship depiction despite someone in that relationship struggling with internalized homophobia is fine and good actually. As long as the individual can recognize what they're dealing with, and work through it in a healthy and constructive manner, then there's nothing wrong there...)

When I started this post to be honest I thought I would have a lot more to say, it's a scene that touched and changed me so deeply as a person, and beyond that in a more objective experience it completely changes Nico's character, by turning his arc around and beginning his healing process. To be honest, there probably is more to be said on it, I just haven't found the words yet... I know parts of this post are clunky and in a year I'm going to read this and see all the places it could be better but for now I'm content with it.

Whether or not someone considers the scene homophobic is a subjective experience, but I think this is a very well written scene purely for the characterization and symbolism, intentional or otherwise. I don't really care that much to debate if it's truly a homophobic scene or not, I can see both why people say it is and why people say it isn't and that can be culminated into "people have different needs" and "minorities aren't a monolith". Personally my much larger complaint is the complete lack of nuance and insight scenes like this are handled with, not the matter of personal opinion an individual reaches on the scene.

*the post uses the word "adult audience" and yes, fair point, children should not be able to decipher symbolism to the extent adults can. But older children and young teens, which the RRverse series are sold for, is when critical thinking skills and media analysis do begin to become parts of classroom curriculum. The scene does an excellent job of not outright stating Cupid is evil, but of depicting that in a very clear cut way.

[notyetbulletproof]

@ahoyjacaranda and I were chatting about this past Ted Lasso episode and our thoughts about Keeley Jones have resulted in this post:

What if all this drama is a step in the “Delivering on the Keeley Jones Character Arc” direction?

From the moment we meet Keeley and through her friendship with Ted and Rebecca, she is lovely and kind to everyone she interacts with. She’s sassy and will put you in your place but she’s not cruel. We do however learn about her through her relationships (expected in an ensemble show sure) then watch her come a little into her own. Watch her find new dynamics with others. She takes care of people, leaves people better than she found them. She’s allowing people to add value to her life too.

(Side-note: the writing lifts her out of the trope they played on and then Juno’s acting makes her the beautiful stunning awesome girl we know and love).

Anyway!

We kept coming back to what she said in that conversation in the bathroom with Rebecca. About her dating footballers. About getting older and growing out of certain things and still having the same dating patterns or making the same choices in her relationship. The fatigue of that. The monotony of it. The discontentment. Not breaking the cycle and excepting something different. And Rebecca asks her “what about being accountable?”. Being accountable (both to yourself and others) matters.

Then she and Roy got together. We kept thinking about the little things. The fact that Roy’s insecurities or struggles with vulnerability and letting people in is focused on more than Keeley’s. At the moment, that’s what it feels like. Probably because Roy (canonically) finds vulnerability and open communication more difficult than Keeley does. AND ALSO what happened between S1 and S2 and Roy needing to find his way back to himself and his life outsid of Roy Kent the soccer star. He’s still fucking Roy Kent(just new roles).

Perhaps the exploring of their vulnerabilities, insecurities and communication skills are gonna come back to a more balanced point soon. We’ve seen bits of it. We’ve seen her insecurities and struggles through communication issues, through her genuine fear when she thought Roy was leaving (as opposed to realising that he finally understood what she needed). Keeley is used to being the mature one in her relationships. The one that looked after the other person. The one helping. The one who stays. The one who comes back. The one who acknowledged her missteps and accepted it when the other party didn’t. Till she stopped and realised that equal accountability is important.

With Roy, she has a partner. Someone who wants to work as hard as she does. Someone who wants to help as much as she does. Someone who wants to listen as much as she does. Someone who calls her out the same way she calls him out. Someone who takes responsibility and accountability. Someone she does the same thing with. She takes accountability for her actions when she’s with him, takes responsibility. It’s having a partner VS being “the girlfriend”. It’s having someone you root for who also roots for you. We didn’t see that before. It’s not that it never existed but it’s supposed to be different with Roy, that’s why it works so well.

She’s used to relationships with dramatic exits, angst(!), poor communication or always being the one to “teach” the other. It’s not like her relationship with Roy is perfect, it’s just that now she’s with someone who is as invested as she is. In it as deep as her. Doesn’t want to screw it up as much as she doesn’t want to screw it up. So yes the dramatic shit still happens but it’s the follow up. It’s the coming back. It’s the working it out. It’s the let’s table this until we can actually communicate. It’s the lets talk to each other- because clearly not saying anything and bottling things up leads to outbursts and cold shoulders. Which are all counterproductive and can be annoying—- COMMUNICATION TAKES WORK. And they do the work??? It’s not always gonna be easy but that’s what it means to build a life with another person.

As for why this could be more part of Keeley’s arc than Jamie’s regression or self-sabotage or transference or (fine!) growth— is that we haven’t really seen her character arc play out outside of her relationships with other people. I’m not saying it won’t be an overarching arc or interwoven with both Roy and Jamie because we’ve seen the way Keeley impacts the people around her, we’ve seen her find joy and happiness and love. Still, in the same way we’ve been learning what fuels these characters, what has made them who they are, it would be nice to learn more about Keeley.

Why we think this is part of a confronting insecurities/vulnerabilities/preventing self-sabotage arc is simple—- It’s like when you want something for so long and then you finally get it and it takes more adjustments than you thought necessary. You know you want it and you love it but you’re also incredibly scared to lose it. So you revert to old coping mechanisms. It leads you to engage in self-sabotage because you don’t know how else to be. You have to call yourself out. Hold yourself accountable too.

Remind yourself that you deserve to be happy. And happiness more often than not, takes work. It’s a choice to push through the mud. Not every day will be a happy day but reminding yourself that it doesn’t always come easy, that taking work does not make it LESS good is helpful. The work is necessary. Not all the time sure but the things that matter are worth the tough work of communicating needs/wants/desires, being vulnerable, being accountable, being honest. Showing up. Doing the work.

Listen, we’ve been burned by writers before. So while we’re optimistic, we’re not putting all our hopes on this because LIFE you know?? Still wouldn’t it be nice?

———-

As usual, this got away from me. I’ll stop now.

[veeranger]

So you want to watch Precure!

Version 1.3

(Google Docs Vers & Changelog)

Maybe you follow people who like it, maybe you just love magical girls and never got into Precure, but there are over a dozen seasons and you don’t know how to jump in. Never fear, this masterpost is here to give you a rundown of Precure, and hopefully by the end you’ll have an idea of where you want to start. 

What Is Precure?

Precure (short for Pretty Cure) is a Toei Animation franchise started in 2004 and has been on the air nonstop since then. It’s a magical girl franchise, y’know like sailor moon or ojamajo doremi or other such shows. The main demographic is children so you don’t have to worry about any weird “fanservice” or panty shots or anything nasty like that, it’s very G rated. 

What Are The Shows About?

In a general sense, Precure is about a team of 2-6 middle school age magical girls fighting bad guys and giant monsters and saving the world on a weekly basis with pretty outfits and big flashy finishers and the power of love and friendship. Each season follows a pretty standard formula (toku fans should be pretty familiar with it for the most part), and each season is around 48-50 episodes long. 

In keeping with this toku-esque formula, most seasons will feature mid season additions to the cast, in the form of new precure heroes. For the sake of not spoiling these shows, these mid season cures will not be mentioned in our plot overviews unless they appear extremely early or something like that. Just know that almost every season will feature an additional cure joining the team later in the show. 

Additionally, every season has at least one movie, these days there’s usually two per season. Usually you’ll find the movies are a standalone self-contained romp, and a crossover movie with the preceding seasons, with a focus on the most recent 2-3 teams. These movies might as well exist in a continuity of their own, and have absolutely no bearing on the plot whatsoever, save for one except which I’ll mention when we get to that season. 

Why Should I Watch Precure?

Because it’s good. It’s a really stellar franchise with a ton of content and genuinely engaging characters and stories. Also this isn’t your mom’s magical girl show, these girls throw punches, and kicks, and big lasers. Precure is pretty well known for being extremely hands on with its combat compared to other magical girl shows, though don’t expect the same kind of fights you’d find in kamen rider or anything. Also a main draw for a lot of people is the amount of gay subtext in, frankly, every season. While there’s only one season with an explicitly confirmed gay relationship between two cures, every season has varying levels of subtext between cures, it’s pretty cool. We won’t discuss the subtext in every season overview but trust us, it’s in there. 

What Show Should I Start With?

It doesn’t actually matter which season you watch, every season is a new setting and with new characters and set in a new world (except for two sequel seasons i’ll explain later), so you’re free to watch whatever you want in any order! We’re going to spend the rest of this post talking about each season to give you, the beloved reader, a glimpse at what each season has to uniquely offer. Don’t worry, there’s no spoilers down there. 

Futari Wa Precure (We Are Pretty Cure) & Futari Wa Precure Max Heart

The original precure show that aired in 2004, and even received an english dub. Misumi Nagisa is a star lacrosse player living a normal life until one day a shooting star she wishes on turns out to be a fairy that careens right into her room, or rather, smacks her right in the face. The fairy, named Mepple, explains he comes from the Garden of Light, another world that’s been taken over by the evil Dark King and his Dark Zone in order to capture the Prism Stones, a number of heart shaped crystals that, if collected, could give Dark King the power to destroy not only the Garden of Light but also the Garden of Rainbows, Earth itself. Meanwhile, Yukishiro Honoka finds a box in her grandmother’s shed containing an item just like the one that smacked Nagisa in the face, and inside is the fairy Mipple, who explains the situation to Honoka. The two fairies, seeking to be reunited, drag Nagisa and Honoka along and the four of them end up meeting up, but are attacked by an emissary of the Dark Zone. Mepple and Mipple grant the confused duo the power to transform into the warriors of legend, Precure. As Cure Black and Cure White, Nagisa and Honoka manage to fight off their attacker and protect their new fairy partners. The girls are then more or less dragged into the battle against the Dark Zone, as the only hope for both Gardens, they fulfill their duty as legendary warriors despite their hesitations and desires to go back to being normal teenagers.

Futari Wa doesn’t exactly have any major themes to speak of, it’s just your standard magical girl vs evil bad guys kind of thing, forgive it for being the first season. What it does have to offer is the relationship between Nagisa and Honoka, as well as the action in fight scenes. The girls don’t start the season as best friends, in fact they barely even know each other’s names when they’re first flung together. It takes a few episodes and a major fight between the girls for them to really start opening up to each other, but soon enough they become inseparable and support each other in everything they do. It’s clear, especially near the end, that the girls cling to each other for support and strength in the face of the increasingly overwhelming odds they face as the Dark Zone gains strength. It’s very compelling to see their relationship deepen in the early season and see how deep their bonds truly go near the end. 

Futari Wa received a sequel show, Futari Wa Precure Max Heart, picking up the story where it left off in the first season’s finale. Honoka and Nagisa are still the main characters, and they’re still fighting the Dark Zone, but this time they’re joined by a mysterious girl named Hikari, who can transform into Shiny Luminous, not a precure but precure-ish. This time the girls are trying to recover the heart and soul of the Queen of the Garden of Light, before the Dark Zone can recover and destroy the queen in her weakened state. Also their precure costumes have changed slightly. 

The first season (that is to say, not max heart) is currently one of the few seasons available with official english subtitles on the streaming platform Crunchyroll

Futari Wa Precure Splash Star

Hyuuga Saki (Cure Bloom), a tomboy who loves playing softball, and Mishou Mai (Cure Egret), a quiet transfer student and aspiring artist, meet each other by chance one day under the Sky Tree, where they discover two creatures from the Land of Fountains named Flappy and Choppy. The two girls transform into the legendary Precure and are tasked with restoring Princess Filia and the Seven Holy Fountains, which were sapped of their power by the evil forces of Dark Fall.

Splash Star's main theme is the appreciation of nature. The main focus is on the girls rediscovering their relationships with their town and the nature and people in it. You get to meet a whole cast of characters in their community, who have a lot of heart and charm behind their writing and the show does a good job of getting you genuinely invested in their stories.

Unfortunately the romance in Splash Star isn’t much better than Futari Wa's (sorry to any Fujimura/Kazuya fans), but the main girls themselves are so engaging that it's easy to ignore. The villains are pretty goofy, but entertaining if you can accept that the show doesn’t take itself very seriously. There are two villains in the latter half of the season that really stand out, though. Without spoiling too much, I can promise you their character arcs will tear at your heartstrings in the best way.

If you've watched Futari wa Precure, Splash Star will probably feel familiar. Although it's the first "reboot" series in the franchise with completely new characters, Toei overall played it safe and Saki and Mai in many ways still feel like "Nagisa and Honoka 2.0". Splash Star is different in enough other ways to make the show stand on its own merits, but if you watch it immediately after Futari wa you might find yourself feeling some deja vu. Personally, I think it's interesting to see what Splash Star builds on and explores when compared to Futari wa, since it has many of the same themes and character archetypes but they play out quite differently.

Yes! Precure 5 & Yes! Precure 5 GoGo!

Nozomi is a cheerful, carefree girl, but she doesn’t have a dream. One day she meets a hot guy and finds a mysterious item called the Dream Collet, capable of granting any wish once all the fairies known as Pinkies are gathered inside it, in the school library. She discovers that the hot guy is actually a tanuki from Palmier Kingdom named Coco, and that the Kingdom has been destroyed by the Nightmare. Coco’s dream is to restore his kingdom using the Dream Collet, and Nozomi decides to make it hers as well. 

She’s joined by her jock friend Rin, Urara, an aspiring actress, Komachi, a writer, and the rich student council president Karen. Together they form Yes Sentai Fiveranger Yes Precure 5 and work together to prevent Nightmare from obtaining the Dream Collet before they can gather all the Pinkies. They also save Coco’s “”””””friend””””””” and fellow hot guy squirrel, Nuts, and he joins them as the second mascot/handsome love interest.

The theme of Yes is dreams and heterosexual furry romance. It pulls off the dreams part very nicely. The het furry romance is bad, mostly because Coco is Nozomi’s teacher at school and also her love interest. However, Coco and Nuts are fairly gay and if you look past the romance part they have very good dadly relationships with the rest of the team. 

Yespre, like Futari Wa, received a sequel show, Yes! Precure 5 GoGo!. After the defeat of Nightmare some time ago, a new faction called Eternal rises up and starts stealing treasures from various dimensions. When Eternal targets the Rose Pact belonging to the Cure Rose Garden, the precure are called back into action to fight against Eternal, with new cure outfits, a new fairy named Syrup, and a new cure-like teammate named Milky Rose.

Fresh Precure!

Fresh is sort of the defining series for modern Precure, introducing a lot of plot and thematic elements to the franchise that would be used repeatedly later on. 

A concert Momozono Love attends is attacked by a monster called a Nakewameke. When Love stands up to it, she is nearly killed, but is saved when she is chosen by a mysterious power to become Cure Peach. She is joined by Inori and Miki as Cure Pine and Cure Berry, and, together with the talking ferret from the Kingdom of Sweets, Tarte, they have to prevent Labyrinth, a grey world led by Mobius, from taking over the Parallel Worlds and transforming them into identical, machine-like dictatorships, and also figure out the secret behind the Magic Baby, Chiffon, that Tarte is entrusted with. 

Fresh’s themes are happiness and nature/technology and donuts. The donuts are important. Labyrinth operates by gathering misery; the Nakewameke are created from it and their function is to create more of it and fill the Sorrow Gauge. All the girls (and the mascot) have love interests and their familial relationships are explored a lot to bring out the general stakes and emphasise what they’re fighting for.

While Fresh is very strong in characters, plot, and thematics, its lack of budget is very apparent. It looks terrible. Fortunately, it isn’t that difficult to get used to the bad animation once you get into the show, although the lack of means tends to show up at inopportune moments, like new powerups.

Heartcatch Precure!

Featuring character designs and art direction from Ojamajo Doremi’s character designer Umakoshi Yoshihiko, and written by Ojamajo Doremi and Onegai My Melody writer Yamada Takashi, Heartcatch should look and feel familiar to fans of either franchise, especially Doremi.

After having a reoccurring dream about someone called Cure Moonlight being defeated trying to defend the “Great Heart Tree”, the shy and reserved Hanasaki Tsubomi moves in with her grandmother and ends up inheriting the will of Cure Moonlight and becomes the newest precure, Cure Blossom. Finding out her grandmother used to be the legendary Cure Flower, Tsubomi vows to protect the world as a precure and learn to change herself for the better. She’s joined by her new friend and the first person she saved as a precure, Kurumi Erika, a loud girl with a big heart who means well, but doesn’t hesitate to speak her mind. Erika becomes Cure Marine and the two become Heartcatch Precure, the newest precure in the long legacy of those who have stood up to the evil Dune, a mysterious invader who destroys planets and turns them into lifeless deserts. Heartcatch Precure fights against Dune’s minions: the mask wearing Professor Sabaku, his Desert Apostles, and the mysterious Dark Precure. Along the way they meet the former Cure Moonlight, now stripped of her power, and try to help her cope with her defeat.

Heartcatch Precure’s main theme is flowers and flower language. Everyone has a “heart flower” that the Desert Apostles take and use to create their monsters every week. As an interesting result of this, the monster of the week will be the main character in the plot of the week and often their big monster form will vent about their issues which will usually lead to a resolution when the precure return them to their regular bodies. Heartcatch also has a very nice backstory and lore to it. Unlike most iterations of precure, the Heartcatch girls are not the first precure to exist in their world, there are dozens maybe hundreds of precure that came before them, fighting against Dune and his forces for hundreds of years. It adds a lot to the narrative in small ways, especially later on in the season. Also the fight scenes are extremely excellent, especially when Moonlight is involved. 

Suite Precure♪

The musical paradise of Major Land falls under siege by the forces of Minor Land, led by King Mephisto. His goal is to steal the living notes of the “Melody of Happiness” and remake them into the “Melody of Sorrow”, throwing the world into a permanent depressive state. As a last resort, Queen Aphrodite scatters the notes into the human world and tasks Hummy, the cat-like fairy, and the Fairy Tones, to find the notes before the forces of Minor Lands can capture them. In the human world, Hummy meets Hojo Hibiki and Minamino Kanade, two girls who were best friends as children, but drifted apart as teenagers because of their tendency to bicker with each other. The two find themselves thrown together again by fate and transform into Cure Melody and Cure Rhythm to protect the things they hold dear. Not long after, the two rekindle their relationship and become closer than before, despite their bickering. Soon the girls run into the mysterious Cure Muse, a girl who appears to be a precure like them, but hides her face with a mask and refuses to join in their fight, claiming to be neither friend nor enemy. Melody and Rhythm battle against Minor Land and the giant Negatones they create from the notes they gather, as well as Siren, another cat-like fairy who used to be Hummy’s best friend before turning to evil and joining Minor Land. 

Suite Precure’s main theme is music, and it is a very encompassing theme. Hibiki and Kanade bond over their piano practice, the town they live in celebrates music frequently and is aesthetically music themed, and their powers take the form of musical instruments. Harmony is also a large theme for the two girls. Their precure power increases as they harmonize with each other, and the early season is very much about them learning to harmonize with each other. Suite also features several extremely well done mystery arcs, about the identity of Cure Muse, and various other things that I can’t very well talk about without risking spoiling things myself. If you manage to go into Suite not knowing anything consider yourself extremely lucky and be super sure not to get spoiled. The show staff went to great lengths to hide certain things, including leaking fake cure designs, and creating a second version of the second dance ending to further mask the identity of Cure Muse until her true reveal. 

Also something to note, usually precure movies have nothing to do with the plot of the show itself and can be watched whenever but the Suite movie is best enjoyed right after the arc revealing Cure Muse’s identity is concluded, it has a nice resolution to plot elements in that arc and sets the stage for the last few arcs of the show, so be sure to watch it then.

Smile Precure!

Written by Kamen Rider Kabuto head writer Yonemura Shoji, Smile Precure is the second season to feature a 5 girl team after Yes! Precure 5 Gogo!. Running late to her first day of school, resident happy-go-lucky klutz Hoshizora Miyuki runs face first into a small creature called Candy, a fairy from a place called Märchenland. The two are attacked by an anthropomorphic wolf named Wolfrun, and Miyuki transforms into Cure Happy to fight against Wolfrun and the big clown faced monster he summons called an Akanbe. After Candy explains that the legends say there are five precure, Miyuki recruits four new friends: the hot blooded Akane (Cure Sunny), shy artist Yayoi (Cure Peace), responsible older sister Nao (Cure March), and refined student council vice-president Reika (Cure Beauty). The five of them become Smile Precure and fight against Wolfrun and his allies in the Bad End Kingdom, who attempt to revive the slumbering Pierrot by trying to put the world in a “Bad End”. 

Smile Precure’s main theme is fairy tales, in a general sense. The Bad End trio are based off of the big bad wolf (Wolfrun), the oni from Momotaro (Akaoni), and the witch from Snow White (Majorina), and Miyuki herself is utterly captivated by fairy tales. The secondary theme is happiness, and the happy go lucky tone of the series often turns on its head during serious arcs to deliver extremely powerful emotional moments. Smile Precure is light on plot, and most episodes are an ultra happy experience, but the show knows how to get serious when it needs to and Smile is exceedingly competent at pulling off drama when the time comes. Smile knows how to get you invested in its characters and use that to pull on your heartstrings during the big moments. The last 10 episodes of the show are the absolute pinnacle of the show’s emotional drama, and each cure gets her own episode for closure before the finale sets in and emotionally destroys you. Also you get to play rock paper scissors with Cure Peace during her roll call so that’s always fun.

Doki Doki! Precure

Doki opens with Trump Kingdom’s destruction by the Selfishness as Cure Sword looks on, helpless. Switching to our world and brighter topics, we meet Aida Mana, Student Council President of Oogai Middle School, whose dream is to become the Prime Minister of Japan. Whenever Mana sees someone in trouble, she’ll help them out, so when a monster attacks the city, Mana does the obvious and tries to stop it. And when, chosen by the fairy Charuru (Charles? Cheryle? Cherry?) to become a Precure and defend the world, she meets Cure Sword, she has to befriend her and help her restore Trump Kingdom and find her happiness. 

Mana (Cure Heart) is joined by Rikka (Cure Diamond), her studious companion and supporter, and also the immeasurably powerful and rich (in that order) Alice (Cure Rosetta). Together they have to unravel the mystery of the man who gave them their transformation items, the missing princess of Trump Kingdom, the strange, evil girl called Regina, and Ai, the chaotic neutral baby who hatches out of an egg. 

Dokipre’s theme is love and selflessness. It also has Deep Lore, a lot of which is established in extra-series material. The show does try to explore concepts like past cures and manages a very nice repeating pattern effect with the plot, in terms of past and future happenings. There’s a lot of foreshadowing. Compared to most Precure seasons it’s very plot-heavy and even the filler usually ends up being plot-relevant. 

Happiness Charge Precure!

The 10th anniversary of Precure! The Phantom Empire is spreading across the world, and Precure are rising up all over the globe to fight them off. In Japan there are two active cures, Cure Fortune, strong and capable, and Cure Princess, scared and unsure of herself. As Cure Princess, Shirayuki Hime, struggles desperately to do her duty as precure, Cure Fortune refuses to work with her for reasons Hime doesn’t fully understand. Realizing her only hope is to find a partner to work with, Hime bumps into Aino Megumi, a super friendly girl who has a tendency to drop everything and help others any time she sees someone in need. Megumi becomes Cure Lovely, and bolstering Hime’s confidence, the two of them become Happiness Charge Precure, tasked with protecting Japan from Queen Mirage and her Phantom Empire. The two are joined by Cure Honey, and eventually Cure Fortune, and the four of them receive support from Blue, the God of Planet Earth. As the girls continue to fight and defend Japan, they are assaulted by Phantom, the ruthless Precure Hunter who has defeated and trapped countless Precure in his Precure Graveyard, and the Oresky Trio, the Phantom Empire generals who oversee the invasion of Japan. 

Happiness Charge Precure’s themes are romance and happiness. There are several arcs dedicated to the budding romances of the cures, and the backstory of the show is heavily tied to romance. Happiness might as well be Megumi’s middle name, she makes it her business to spread happiness to as many people as she can, and takes every chance she can to help others. Happiness Charge is also the first season to have form changes for the precure, each cure has a small selection of forms they can change to for different big attacks, and this concept would later be expanded and used as a core concept in Maho Girls Precure. Like Heartcatch before it, Happiness Charge exists in a world where multiple precure exist, but unlike Heartcatch all those precure exist at the same time in the present day. Other precure teams make cameos every so often and the concept creates a great world in which the whole planet is being protected by teenage girls with superpowers, creating a wonderful sense of scale that really makes the big victories of Happiness Charge Precure feel even bigger. 

Go! Princess Precure

The first precure series to take place at a boarding school! Years ago, a young girl named Haruno Haruka meets a very royal looking person named Kanata who gives her a Dress-Up Key, a big key shaped like a dress. A teenager now, Haruka starts attending Noble Academy, a prestigious boarding school, all the while holding tight to her dream of becoming a true princess, in a quasi-literal sense. Not long after starting the school year, Haruka meets Pafu and Aroma, two fairies from the Hope Kingdom desperate to revive the legendary precure to fight back against Dyspear and her minions who steal dreams to create their giant Zetsuborgs. Realizing what her Dress-Up Key is meant for, Haruka uses it and the Princess Perfume to become Cure Flora. Together with student council president Kaido Minami (Cure Mermaid), and Amanogawa Kirara (Cure Twinkle) a fashion model with huge aspirations, they become the new Princess Precure, tasked with learning to become true princesses along with protecting the Dress-Up Keys from Dyspear’s forces. 

Go! Princess Precure’s main themes are princesses (duh) and dreams. Dreams are a driving force behind all of the cures, and most of the plot of the week characters. Dyspear steals dreams to make monsters, and the precure fight to return those dreams. Characters follow their dreams with conviction, pride, and full commitment. This is also where the princess theme intersects, since it’s Haruka’s dream to become a true princess. One should note that princess is used sort of liberally in this series, it’s not that Haruka wants to somehow become someone of noble birth or have political power, she just wants to be strong, kind, and beautiful, the traits of a true princess in Princess Precure’s own terms. Also she wants to wear pretty dresses and such but who can blame her really. 

Mahou Tsukai Precure! (Maho Girls Precure!)

Quite literally putting the magic in magical girls for the first time in the franchise, Mahou Tsukai Precure was the first season to have its cures be actual magicians. Izumi Riko lives in the magical world, a world where magic is real and she attends a magical academy to hone her craft. She leaves the magical world to travel to the “non-magic” world, to search for a legendary item called the Linkle Stone Emerald. In the non-magic world she ends up catching the attention of another girl, Asahina Mirai, who sees her using magic. After trying to show off some magic and messing it up, Riko is attacked by Batty, a servant of the dark wizard Dokurokushe, who is seeking the Linkle Stone Emerald as well. As fate would have it, both Mirai and Riko carry stones that turn out to be the Linkle Stones Diamond, and the two of them use them to become Cure Miracle and Cure Magical, the legendary Mahou Tsukai Precure. Additionally, the power of the Linkle Stones grants life to Mirai’s lifelong companion, a teddy bear named Mofurun. Having discovered the world of magic and become a precure, Mirai is invited to spend time in the magical world learning magic alongside Riko, before the two, joined by Mofurun and a baby fairy named Ha, return to the non-magical world to search for the Emerald and protect it from Dokurokushe and his minions.

Mahou Tsukai Precure’s main themes are bonds and separation. It’s strengths lie in how it shows the relationship between Mirai and Riko. The show takes its time building their relationship in the first dozen or so episodes of their adventures in the magic world, highlighting their similarities and differences as they grow closer and learn to live with each other and fight as precure together. Well before the halfway mark it’s clear how strong their bond is and how deeply they care for each other, and the lengths they would go to for one another. Mahou Tsukai is an emotional ride in so many ways, every emotional moment hits its mark and the more you get attached to the characters the more the show will hit harder and harder with its moments, both sad and happy. Even side characters get satisfying and emotional conclusions to their storylines outside of the episodes they’re introduced in, it’s all wonderfully crafted.

KiraKira☆Precure A La Mode

Another return to the five cure format, Kirapre is also the second season to feature a sixth team member after Yes! Precure 5 Gogo!, as well as the second season to feature high school age precure after Heartcatch Precure. Usami Ichika is in her second year of middle school and loves sweets, especially making sweets. One day a hungry fairy named Pekorin finds her way into Ichika’s kitchen, and after being fed teaches Ichika about Kirakiraru, an energy source that exists in all sweets, and something that can be stolen and used for evil, leaving the sweets gray and tasteless. Utilizing the power of kirakraru in the shortcake she baked for her mother, Ichika becomes Cure Whip, one of the legendary patissiers, Precure. One by one other precure appear, the smart but shy Arisugawa Himari (Cure Custard), the rock band headliner Tategami Aoi (Cure Gelato), the fickle catlike Kotozume Yukari (Cure Macaron), and the responsible and helpful Kenjou Akira (Cure Chocolat). The five of them fight against the evils of Noir and those he has influenced: Julio, the mysterious masked boy who runs “experiments'' using kirakiraru, and Bibury, a mean spirited girl who uses her talking doll to steal kirakiraru and create monsters.

Kirapre’s main motifs are sweets and animals, and it has a pretty general togetherness and happiness theme going on, the standard precure stuff, mostly viewed through the lense of sweets and sweets-making. All the precure work as patissiers for one reason or another and it’s the main way the team bonds early on. The team, as well as the people of their small town, love sweets as a part of their culture and sweets maintain an important role as the emotional tie that binds most things together in the story. Overall Kirapre is a wonderful show with a great cast on both sides of the conflict, and a lot of care has been put into the show to make sure characters have their moments to interact with each other as well as have their own stories , even on a team of six every precure gets more than enough time to shine on her own. Kirapre is at it’s best when it takes two girls and puts them together for an episode, letting each unique dynamic play out in a fun and satisfying way. Kirapre is also noteworthy for the almost inarguably canonical relationship between two of the cures. It's not exactly explicit and it does leave something to be desired, since this is a Toei children's show, but there’s not really any other way to read the evolution of their relationship or their duet song, so I’m more than satisfied calling it canon.

This season is currently one of the few seasons available with official english subtitles on the streaming platform Crunchyroll 

HUGtto! Precure

Precure’s 15th anniversary! This season is in many ways a celebration of all things Precure, bringing together a lot of familiar elements from past shows into one. Hugtto! is another five cure season whose main themes are destiny and future. Nono Hana (Cure Yell) is a thirteen-year-old girl whose dream is to be a "cool and stylish woman," although she worries that others see her as childish. One day, a hamster named Harryham Harry and a magical baby named Hugtan fall out of the sky into Hana's house. They're being chased from the future by an evil organization called Criasu Corporation, who are trying to use Hugtan's power to freeze time forever. Hana makes friends with two of her classmates: the responsible class representative Yakushiji Saaya (Cure Ange) and the reclusive ex-figure skater Kagayaki Homare (Cure Etoile), and together they fight Criasu while taking care of Hugtan and figuring out the many mysteries surrounding her. Expect some light sc-fi elements and an emphasis on modern technology/social media.

Hugtto! explores its themes primarily through the lenses of childcare and the workplace, giving us a look at how each girl comes to terms with the transition from childhood to adulthood. This season does a good job of letting each member of the team shine; you spend several episodes with each girl (or duo of girls) and there's a real sense of a complete character arc for all of them. The romance aspect is, unfortunately, pretty bad: there’s a return of hetero furry romance between Harry and Homare, and Hana’s love interest exhibits some really creepy behavior towards her. There’s uncomfortable age gaps in both of these relationships too so it’s a just a bit…. Yikes. Thankfully, it’s fairly easy to ignore like past seasons, but a warning for it nonetheless.

Something that makes this season stand out is its LGBT subtext; there's a TON of it even compared to the normal amount that Precure is known for. Without giving away too much, two of the cures this season are heavily coded as lesbians (though not with each other per se), and there's a subplot concerning a side character who is pretty explicitly (well, as explicit as Toei dares to be) a gender non-conforming man/nonbinary person in love with another man, and it's all very wholesome and presented in a positive light. Again, this is Toei, so don't expect anything too radical, but I have to admit I was pleasantly surprised with how Hugpre handles it.

Finally I'll just say that while Hugpre is a fantastic season on its own, I would personally recommend waiting to watch it after you've seen some other seasons (notably Futari wa). It's not required, but since Hugpre is an anniversary season, there are a few episodes (especially near the end) that will really hit different if you have an emotional connection to the franchise already. Ultimately though this is a fairly minor part of the show, so watching this season first won’t ruin it or anything like that, it’s just something to keep in mind.

Star☆Twinkle Precure

Precure… in space! Our protagonist, Hoshina Hikaru (Cure Star) loves space and cryptids, to the point of drawing her own constellations. One of her constellations is an adorable alien puffball, who warps into Hikaru’s room almost immediately after she draws it. The puffball quickly befriends Hikaru, who names her Fuwa. They are later joined by Prunce, the team dad friend/alien mascot, and Lala (Cure Milky), a humanoid alien who is an adult in her own culture. After our initial duo gets off to a bit of a rocky start, they are joined by the student council president, Kaguya Madoka  (Cure Selene) and a biracial upperclassman who is considered to be the “sun” of the school, Amamiya Elena (Cure Soleil). Together, they explore the universe and befriend all sorts of aliens, while also defending them from the Notraiders, who want to rid the universe of all imagination. On top of that, the universe is dying and the cures need to find the 12 astrologically themed Star Pens to save it and the 12 Star Princesses. This series is notable for attempting to break the “monster of the week” format, instead making it a “fight of the week”.

The major themes of Star Twinkle are space, imagination, and maturity. The cures have to explore the universe to find the Star Pens, and in doing so, visit a bunch of different planets. About half the series is spent on Earth, but the world still feels developed! Honestly speaking, the theme of imagination is forgotten pretty quickly and I’d refer to it more as free will. The theme of maturity is where Star Twinkle really shines. All of the cures have had to grow up too fast in some way, and the series is partially about just allowing them to goof off. Lala is considered an adult on her planet, and this plot point is treated realistically. Well, as realistically as it can be. This is one series I’d recommend avoiding spoilers like the plague for, because part of the fun is in how the plot twists are pulled off. Also Star Twinkle is notable for featuring the first ever dark skinned precure, as Elena is half-hispanic. 

Healin’ Good Precure

The currently airing Precure season, as of this writing. The Byogens seek to revive their king by inflicting viruses on Earth, the Healing Garden sends three medical interns to combat them. These interns, fairies named Rabirin, Pegitan, and Nyatoran, along with a baby fairy princess named Latte, journey to Earth to find partners to become Precure. They end up meeting Hanadera Nodoka, a kindhearted girl who was hospitalized for most of her young childhood. After Nodoka risks her life to protect Latte, Rabirin chooses her to become Cure Grace. Joined by older sister type Sawaizumi Chiyu (Cure Fontaine) and the outgoing Hiramitsu Hinata (Cure Sparkle), they form Healin’ Good Precure, and defend their friends and the Earth from the Byogen’s newest wave of attacks. 

This season is currently one of the few seasons available with official english subtitles on the streaming platform Crunchyroll.

Where To Watch Precure Online

Unfortunately for us, Precure isn’t really a thing in the west. There was a dub of Futari Wa back in the early 2000’s and Smile and Doki both got “adapted” into Glitter Force over on netflix (I don’t really recommend checking those out), but really Precure just doesn’t exist over here.

However, as mentioned above, there are currently three seasons avalible for streaming on crunchyroll. The original Futari Wa Precure, Kira Kira Precure A La Mode, and the current season, Healin’ Good Precure.

Beyond these isolated examples of official releases, you can really only watch precure online on streaming sites or through torrents. You can find precure pretty much on any major anime streaming site, kissanime, gogoanime, the works. You can also try your luck torrenting the seasons, i’ve found that pretty much every season has a working torrent you can find on sites like nyaa.si or the like. For more recent seasons you should have little difficulty getting torrents, and last time i checked every season was on one of the aforementioned streaming sites. What I’m saying really is there’s no single place to find precure, but it’s not impossible to find for sure.

Thanks for reading this post, I hope you decide to check out precure and I really hope you end up loving it.Thanks to my wonderful friend @meltorights​ for writing the sections on Yespre, Fresh, and Dokipre, to @wonderlilane​ for writing the sections on Splash Star and Huggto, and @cure-cosmo​ for writing the segment on Starpre. 

If you have questions feel free to drop me an ask I’d be happy to help. I will literally go out of my way to help you if it means getting someone new into precure so please do not hesitate by any means. 

[wisteria-lodge]

lion primary + bookkeeper badger secondary (unhealthy badger secondary performance) (in-process lion secondary model)

ok so hi. i'm definitely a lion primary, that much i'm sure of. i've been stuck between badger secondary and lion secondary recently (for what it's worth, intuitively i'm leaning more toward badger secondary, but i wanted to get a second opinion because there's one thing that's not making sense to me)

basically, i'm very focused on my truth and communicating it

So the FIRST thing you said was about the importance of communicating your truth. Which doesn't sell me on Lion secondary by itself. But still. Interesting that's what you lead with.

But I'm very naturally badger secondary i think. i tend to fall into mirroring people and making them feel comfortable quite often. hard work to me is its own reward. the catch is, i don't think i feel *good* doing it? i do in a sense. it's easy for me to do and i like helping people sort their problems out by kinda becoming what they need

This is definitely a description of a Badger secondary, but I'm going to point out the negativity of the word "fall," which suggests loss, loss of control.

So this could be a Badger model, or a somewhat tired and Burnt Badger secondary, or maybe even a Badger secondary in a bad situation. It can be brutal when you find yourself mirroring people you don't want to mirror, or mirroring people you don't like.

i have a *constant* fear that i'll lose myself to it. i feel disgusted with myself for not being true to myself in that moment.

That does sounds pretty Lion. And whatever is going on with your Badger, it's not happy.

that being said, i can't help but wonder if this is just the lion primary coming through.

i solve problems in a badger way, but i think maybe my lion primary values solving them in a different way.

It's possible to get a kind of disconnect between your primary and secondary. I know Badger Snakes will struggle with this, reconciling the bad reputation Snake secondaries are given with the community that they value so highly. But I don't think that's what's going on here.

being myself and speaking my truth is ultimately what i want for myself.

I would break that down into 'Being myself'= Lion primary. 'Speaking my truth' = Lion secondary.

i want to be able to connect with people, help them with their issues, etc. but i'd feel better about doing it if i were more secure in myself during the process. i feel very insecure thinking about the idea of being badger secondary, because it matters to me to have presence, take up space, be known for myself as i am, but if it's the truth i want to work with it.

You have a very, very negative idea of what a Badger secondary is. Like good lord, wallflowers who are doomed to have inauthentic relationships forever because they constantly turn into whoever they're talking to? That's out of a horror movie.

You're thinking of immature Invisible Badgers. Adult Badger secondaries can have so much weight and power and presence. Even if you want to keep it to just Lion Badgers - that's still Moana, Steve Rodgers, Neville Longbottom, Sansa Stark, Castiel, Will Graham - that's off the top of my head.

I think some soul searching is in order. Why is the idea of being a Badger secondary so scary? Is there a doormat Badger secondary in your life that's coloring the whole thing badly? Are you struggling to find a sense of self in general, and think that with a Lion secondary it would be easier?

Because as it is, I can't tell if you're a Lion secondary modeling an unhealthy Badger secondary, or a burnt-out Badger secondary who thinks Lion secondaries are cool.

some additional details in case they help: really unsure between improvisational vs planned. i think i lean a lot more toward improvisational? for example, i'm kinda infamous among my friends for... never planning. ever. they want to make plans a few days ahead, and to me that just narrows my options down. if i'm going to do something, i want to do it naturally and spontaneously, or it just feels stifling.

That's definitely improvisational.

that's not to say that i don't plan ever though. in situations where i genuinely don't feel equipped to manage something, and i've kinda "checked out" of trying to be myself, i'll often plan just to get through whatever it is.

That's definitely a model. And a really negative model, just look at that language - "don't feel equipped" "checked out" "get through whatever."

for example, i do this at work a lot. i've kinda given up on trying to put myself out there there

BURNT SECONDARY

along with that, i have a history of building communities that i feel safe to be myself in, which to me suggests a badger model and lion secondary.

I mean, everyone wants communities where they are safe to be themselves, people just define "being themselves" and "communities" differently.

But your read is definitely possible. Slightly burnt Lion secondary, Badger secondary that makes the Lion secondary feel safe to use... but feels sticky and wrong when you use it too much.

at the end of the day, my gut is telling me i'm probably badger secondary. lion secondary feels more aspirational to me, just cause the tools that badger secondary has feel so natural to me and i tend to revert to them so often (plus it comes with its own rewards).

Well, that is what we are after here. What is the easiest, what is the most... obvious...

ultimately, i do want to be true to myself, but badger techniques do feel good: work to me is zen. i like being able to just work on the things i enjoy.

This sounds really, really Bookkeeper badger. I think that could easily be what's going on here - you're a Bookkeeper Badger who doesn't like having to bring out the Courtier Badger skillset. That's a thing.

i do make people feel safe, and i enjoy it. i have a talent for becoming a tool of sorts, and being what people need me to be in the moment, although i feel really bad about myself if it goes on for too long or i feel like i'm losing myself to it.

Sounds like a Courtier Badger being used in an unhealthy way/non-consensually/for unhealthy reasons.

in short, i'm a very direct person, and i aspire to be even more that way, but i also strongly value badger methods and enjoy them.

You can be an incredibly direct Badger! These two things are not mutually exclusive! Just yesterday I wrote about the super direct Lion Badger from Catch Me if You Can.

i don't honestly know which i'd sacrifice for the other. in theory, being true to myself is a lot more important to me

Lion primary

but in practice i tend to walk the line between pushing boundaries and blending in.

Badger secondary

***

there is one thing i wanted to add to my ask, sorry for sending in two!

i have a complicated relationship with "being myself." i have a super idealized version of what "myself" looks like, and it's pretty standard lion secondary.

So you really like Lion secondaries, and especially with all the improvisational stuff and a desire to "put yourself out there" it sounds like you're building a Lion model. I mean, you're literally constructing a Lion secondary space to exist in.

i tend to get pulled between being myself and giving out my true opinions and shoving myself into this kinda reductionist "helpful and harmless" model that i feel like i get stuck in.

Oh ouch. That barely even sounds like a Badger model, that's a Badger performance.

ultimately i want to be myself for two reasons: one is that it feels more comfortable, and two is that i want people to *see* me that way. i want to be seen as someone bold and direct.

Okay. Here's how I'm reading you. You're a quite loud Lion primary who values "being themselves," and because of that you like and idealize Lion secondaries who seem able to "speak their truth" whenever and however they want.

However, when it comes to solving problems you are extremely Badger. You have a Bookkeeper Badger aspect that you love, and is extremely near and dear to your heart, but you also have a Courtier Badger that you're much more conflicted about. Partly this is because you have a very negative interpretation of what it means to be a Courtier Badger, and partly this is because you've got a constricting Badger performance that you squish yourself into.

So basically... yeah. It's fine to be a Badger secondary who exists in single-player mode most of the time. And it's okay to be a Badger secondary who is really, really direct. Heck, Doctor House is a Badger secondary.

~ thanks @luftschl0ss for the submission ~