#the romance plot is a little eh but its not focused on too much at least

[puppysdog]

I love that you are this huge queer dykefag and your favorite movies are the most reddit red pill type shit

DONT INSULT MY KIDS LIKE THAT MAN

[haljathefangirlcat]

Help. I think I'm actually hooked on the 2024 Fallen series. Yeah, Fallen like the paranormal romance YA Lauren Kate novel that I never read because every plot summary made it sound like simply another Twilight rip-off thing with a brooding male lead who just had to treat the Too Stupid To Live female lead like shit from the get-go "for her own good" or whatever. Also Fallen like the movie adaptation I'm like 98% sure I did watch at least once when it aired on tv and I said "eh, let's give it a try" but I remember absolutely nothing of except it being bland and boring and maaaybe also the opening scene.

I said "eh, let's give it a try" again with the series because my mom was like "oh, I heard this is good." And... it actually is good?? Not "masterpiece" or "pretty much flawless" good, or even "I'll probably still be obsessing over this in a few years" good, maybe, but "this feels pretty well-paced and I'm having fun and feeling emotions (and even feels), I'm actually curious about the solution to the mystery (even if I already know what I assume will be the main part of it) and care about the main cast of characters and want to find out more about the more minor ones, and... well, I just want to keep watching this to the end" good. "Do I have the wrong Fallen entirely in mind or was I just being a dick way back when" good.

I'm also glad to report that, four episodes in, the male lead is not a brooding asshole, the heroine does some very, very risky stuff but actually plans it through with her friends and allies instead of going off alone for no good reason except artificially amp up the drama, and I quite like them both. I don't particularly ship them (yet?), but their romance isn't some kind of grating insta-melodrama that just keeps building up and up to obscure anything interesting in the show, either. They're kind of cute, actually. I could do without the hints of a love triangle already sprinkled here and there, but the same "well, at least it's not being focused on ad nauseam" applies. And it's compensated by the fact I mostly like the other guy (in a kind of light "wanna put him in a petri dish and study him" way, at that) and also the male lead gets to have platonic female friends he cares about without the female lead needing to have a conniption over it. Plus, the way the characters go about expressing attraction feels a lot more understated than I would have expected. Which may be a weird thing to like in a romance series, but it just fits?? Between the horrors and all the deaths and gaslighting and "fuck it, we need a way to break out/find the truth"??

I have no idea how much was really changed from the book, or how. I do know that at certain points I happened to think "oh, god, here's Quirky Best Friend/Quirky Anxious Loser Best Friend/Unreasonably Petty Bitch 1/Unreasonably Petty Bitch 2 to really bring in that 2k YA Spirit. Can't avoid the high school dynamics even in a mental-institution/rehab-centre-as-a-front-for-some-kind-of-creepy-sect setting, I guess"... and now I really need all those girls to make it out okay, please.

Hell, I'm even interested in the creepy sect people. And not just in a "the heroes suck so bad that I'll get what I can from the villains" sense. I genuinely like that they disagree on how to run and protect their little cult and they seem to have their own motivations and inner struggles, and that the implication that they may be doing it all for A Higher Purpose doesn't make any of it seem any less fucked up and terrible and hurtful.

I'm not sure I'd wholeheartedly rec this show without a "yeah, the setting is literally a mental-institution/rehab-centre-as-a-front-for-some-kind-of-creepy-sect, and it goes into some really dark places in that context" caveat, as well as another one about how I'm not qualified to talk about how realistic or tactful its portrayals of mental illness, self-harm, anger management issues, emotional and mental abuse, etc. may be. I can say there's a sexually abusive relationship in it that I found depressingly believable in its build-up, with the actual sexual abuse itself kept mercifully off-screen. Aside from all this, there's a non-white character who tends to act as a bit of a handyman/Guy Who Finds Useful Stuff for the white leads' plans? But I feel he has potential to be more than that and I hope he gets some more depth or development.

All in all? I've seen Tumblr go crazy over things I found way worse in quality. And I might have a couple of femslash ships for it already. So, I'm hoping for both a second season and at least a bit of a fandom, lol.

[convenientalias]

2023 Dramas I Watched in 2023

Cdramas:

A League of Nobleman--Slashy historical mystery drama. I loved all the slashiness and all the intrigue and then in the last few episodes I fell even more in love with the villain. Worth a watch but not my favorite slashy historical mystery of the year.

Mysterious Lotus Casebook--My favorite slashy historical mystery drama of the year! Tho more wuxia than historical I suppose. Bromance and archnemeses and identity porn abound. The identity porn in particular was a special treat for me; a character wandering around all these ppl who care deeply about him or idolize him but all think he's dead is my catnip. (I technically have a few episodes left to go on this one but I'm still counting it bc I am very close.)

Parallel World--YE LIUXI. I did a review of this one here! The short version: urban fantasy and parallel worlds in a desert setting, with a badass amnesiac female protagonist.

The Lady and the Lies--Miniseries, one of those short-episode things that China's doing a lot of now. Involved a cheating husband and a wife out to get revenge. I'm sorry but I shipped the wife with almost every person doing her wrong. She should destroy their lives and also dom them. They're all kind of obsessed with her anyway, in their own way.

Under the Microscope--You ever sit down and say, "Okay, but what I REALLY want from all these historical dramas is to just dig into the tax fraud going on in the background"? Me too, my friend. This show and Long River, which I also watched this year, are all about logistics, bureaucracy, and corruption, and the small man's struggle against ppl in power. That makes them both kind of difficult watches in a way, but also fascinating. I have yet to finish Long River, but this one is an easy 14 episodes and not as emotionally draining, so it was much easier for me to binge through.

Ye Cheng--I must admit I watched this for the pretty people. It's set in a matriarchal fantasy wuxia setting, but the gender role reversal feels a little shallow when the strongest good guy and the strongest bad guy are both men, even tho in theory women are supposed to be the warriors in this setting. However, the role reversal can be quite interesting in some ways--watching the male MC run a brothel as the city's top entertainer, try to use his ~masculine wiles~ to charm the FMC in a way that would be more typically feminine, and deal with the power dynamics of joining the FMC's household. Also, the two leads are just a lot of fun and have a lot of chemistry. The plot is sometimes stupid, but it's still a lot of fun to watch. Also, this was one of just two dramas I managed to finish this year that were mostly romance focused. When you reach the "dropped" section you will see that this is an impressive feat.

Kdramas:

Bloodhounds--I love Woo Do-hwan and I love Park Sung-woong but you know I was here for the ACTION SCENES. PEOPLE PUNCHING EACH OTHER AND SLICING EACH OTHER WITH KNIVES. THATS WHAT ITS ABOUT. I've also written a lot of fanfic about the protagonist and villain at this point but honestly they should have interacted more, we were robbed.

Queen of Masks--The only rich woman thriller kdrama I completed this year. But honestly, when it comes to rich woman thriller kdramas, I've seen better and femslashier. Mine did a better job with the whole "your husband told you the mother of his child was dead, but guess what it's actually me and I'm still alive and here to cause problems" plotline, tho I still enjoyed it here. And the sexual assault aspect... eh. I don't love seeing that kind of plotline in a revenge story; it's such a serious issue (and so much more realistic than, say, "this businessman murdered my whole family to acquire our company" a la Eve) that it kind of makes it hard for me to enjoy the fun of the mystery. But I suppose the way they handled it at least had gravity. My favorite plotline was Hae-mi and her husband and the drama they got into, which is serious in its own way (addiction and lies) but extremely well acted and with so much romantic chemistry.

Revenant--Spooky spooky ghosts and Kim Tae-ri, what's not to like? The possession aspects were creepy without being gory or too terrifying for a wimp like me to handle. The acting was great. And I actually shipped the sort-of-romantic subplot, though apparently a lot of ppl shipped the two MCs instead, which is understandable.

Song of the Bandits--A whole ton of gunfighting and other action scenes. One very badass assassin woman, a dude who is equally capable of taking out a whole squad of soldiers or bandits on his own, a villain with a complicated relationship with the dude above, and a woman spying on the Japanese government who's in a sort of spy love triangle with the MC and the villain. the plot was okay but again I was mostly here for the action!!

Thai dramas:

My Dear Gangster Oppa--This year I tried to watch a bunch of different BL dramas bc I was in that kind of mood but the truth is, it's not the het that gets me in m/f romcoms, it's unfortunately the romcom. Despite that! I persisted and did manage to finish this one. The lead couple was cute, and there was gangster intrigue and action etc to keep the fluff and comedy from driving me insane. still mostly a romance.

To Sir With Love--Also has a BL romance in it but not really a romance drama but a Family Drama with lots of familial plotting, the classic first wife vs. second wife scheming-for-their-children plotline along with what could have been a love triangle between brothers... except Tian is gay, which means the love triangle is null (except he's still engaged to his brother's love interest. which is awkward for all involved.). Also Tian being gay is a Deep Dark Secret. There's a lot of homophobia which might turn some viewers off but I loved seeing Tian's struggle between wanting to come out and having been forced to stay in the closet for so long that he freezes even at the thought of telling people he trusts. Also his mother commits a bunch of murders with terrible poison mushrooms so if THAT'S what you want out of a Thai drama, there is also that. Also he and his brother are. so sweet. and I love them. but also the central m/m romance is very good and involves assassination attempts and identity porn and pining and everything good. Also also this is actually a 2022 drama BUT IM STILL COUNTING IT bc it came out in October 2022 and am I really supposed to get around to watching dramas that fast??

Started and dropped:

Kiseki: Dear to Me--Even gangsters and intrigue could not save me from dropping this romcom.

Our Blooming Youth--This is also a romcom. You may see a pattern here. But to give it credit it is quite a plotty historical drama too. I just didn't really care about the two leads and dropped it halfway through.

Pandora: Beneath the Paradise--A thriller that was going places a bit too wild and frustrating for me.

Killing Vote--Can you believe I dropped this with only four episodes to go? I'm sorry Park Sung-woong, I love you but the plot is just so boring. And it plays at moral complexity while being just. not very complex. Like I swear the morality in this thing is "catching bad guys and punishing them is good, not catching them and not punishing them is bad." We could be talking about police corruption, our MC's terrible ethics, innocence until proven guilty, and so on and so forth, but we were just not going there. Also the twists were doing very little for me and the cops are just not very interesting characters. Again, Park Sung-woong, I'm sorry, you were a decent character but you could not save this show. Let's be real I needed either more Devil Judge here or more Death Note.

Legend of Anle--The romcom element was not helping this show's case but I still tried for 1) wuxia with identity porn and 2) Dilraba Dilmurat costarring with Gong Jun. Unfortunately those two had no chemistry and the plot was just very unsatisfying for me in the political intrigue area. One example: Gong Jun can't find the supplies needed to pacify a near-rioting mob. But that's okay bc Anle's subordinates found it. How did they find the super secret hidden storehouse?? we don't know and will never find out bc it was offscreen and never explained. They just did. this would be fine if it weren't, like, the climax of the episode and presented as a victory of the two MC's brilliance. I can't deal with this.

Naughty Babe--It's. A romcom. I'm so sorry I probably should just stop trying.

Other romcoms I quit too fast to give a fair opinion: You Are Mine, Extremely Perilous Love, My Lethal Man, Taikan Yoho.

Well, there you have it, 2023 dramas I watched in 2023.

Fun as it was, I think in 2024 I'm going to try to catch up more with older dramas lols.

Did y'all watch any of these dramas this year?

[mae-i-scribble]

i’ve been rereading wings of fire because a friend was kind enough to gift me with physical copies of the first series and yeah, i do still love these books with all my heart. They have such genuine and compelling characterization, the way that the main five are a family first and foremost, each of them getting their own book to explore their perspective while not diminishing their presence in the other books. The ways that Sutherland quietly and not so quietly showcases the effects of war and trauma and being forced to fight for your life when our protagonists are children. There’s almost too much to gush about, almost everything about these books is something I love to pieces. Though I really do wish that not every book had a vaguely or not so vaguely romance subplot/possibility in them. The only one free of that is Sunny’s, and while some I like such as Glory and Deathbringer(their banter is cute i’ll excuse a 2 day romance based on that alone plus its not exactly a romance just crushing)/ Clay and Peril (less for romantic inclinations and more so how interesting their friendship is with peril’s one sided obssession/love bc it makes total sense from both their perspectives), the others are...eh. I probably wouldn’t mind them as much if they were like, the only romantic subplots but again, when nearly every book has a new one to throw at you I have to start comparing them.

More than that though, I’ve actually never read past the first series before. I’ve read Moon Rises about 4/5 times at least, I adore Moon and that book to pieces. But I’ve never actually read past it bc I could see what was happening with the love triangle setup, and after 5 books mainly focusing on found family with relatively little of the romance bs, I was dreading reading a main storyline romance with one of my least favorite cliches. But I’ve decided to start reading the rest of the series for the first time and I have to say this really does feel like the perfect follow up to the first series based on its plot and focus characters alone. Being so intertwined with dragons and plot threads from the first series is really working in its favor by picking up questions and plot threads and addressing/resolving them. The first 5 books are about ending the war and bringing the tribes together, these books look like they’re going to be about preserving it. Loosely speaking of course, bc these books are also about a number of things that the first and second series are mirroring each other in and I think that’s really neat. Now here’s to hoping that love triangle goes nowhere.

[antiloreolympus]

10 Anti LO Asks

1. ok but thats also i think i dont get? because without the series or character names, what of any of the promo images or banner or anything else give away it's supposed to be a greek mythology story? they just look like people with weird anatomy who are colored like highlighters. at the very least some iconography should be on them, but there's not? like even percy jackson stuff makes sure to give him a trident and have water flowing around him.

2. rachel made three times where persephone could have made the choice to be with hades willingly and didnt do it each time. first time she was drugged and put into his car, where he phsyically handles her unconscious body and puts her in his bed (ew). second is her working for him, which was hera forcing it. third was her going to the underworld not because she wanted to, but because she was hiding from the law/apollo and he found her. where exactly is her agency in all of this?

3. LO seems like the fast food of webtoons. because there's no room to speculate or theorize, you just read an episode and move on, the bright colors distract that it's a rushed and lazy product over something with high quality and effort, the characters are flat and boring, and the plot has no substance. it's meant to be consumed in a rapid binge, because if not you realize what low-effort and what little you're actually getting from it when you slow down and actually think about it.

4. i mean rachel does have some logic to her fancasting, the problem is it seems the only people of color are either demonized for being hypersexual (aphrodite, eros until he's with psyche) or are literally r//pists who are out to harm her white-fa casted persephone (apollo), so yeah, there is logic there, it's just pointing to rachel being (hopefully unintentionally) racist

5. It pisses me so much that I work over time  (using references and looking at paintings and reading history for ideas for interesting character motifs) so that any of the ancient greek characters I draw look cool and authentically greek, and yet fucking Rachel Smythe, who can't even be bothered to do more than 5 seconds of research to learn that not all ancient greek outfits were shitty, minimalist off white and eggshell, gets to be revered as an artistic revolutionary. It pisses me off so. Fucking. Much. Not just for me, but for everyone else like me who absolutely ADORES greek mythology and wants to draw accurate portrayals of these characters! To whoever is reading this, stop. Stop rn and go read Sleep and His Brother Death (a comic on webtoons), go play Hades (the video game), go read The Song of Achilles (a book by Madeline Miller). Those are beautiful pieces of fiction about Greek mythology that deserve your attention more then Rachel and her shitty pink highlighter self inserts.

And a sidenote, I know that this is kinda like a modern AU for the gods. I am aware. Does not change that fact that anytime any character is drawn in ancient greek fashion it's always the SAME. SHITTY. CHITON. Maybe with a.cape or a scarf, but for the most part? It's just the same stupid, off white chiton.

6. oh, i thought you guys were joking persephone is now stuck with red eyes. is that seriously what look we're stuck with now? does rachel know it looks really ugly?

7. i feel like the lineart less style actually hurts LO in a way. way too often you can look at a panel and it becomes really murky where something starts and ends, and it looks even worse on a phone screen, because on an even smaller screen the images look even more compressed, making it even harder to tell stuff apart. this wouldnt be as bad if the comic took back up its more high contrast look from the begging, but now it's all one flat shade and im not sure why.

8. im really confused over the marketing of LO, tbh. like the ads are all hxp focused, but the series name implies its not about them, but focusing on the 12 olympians, but then the synopsis is general mythology and at the very end randomly mentions its about persephone? but then you read it and nots sure whether its a teen romance, a comedy, a serious drama, and can't stay straight with its messaging and timeline? and persephone is not there for a chunk of time. like whats actually going on?? 😭

9. Chapter 173 is like 50% filler. It gives more questions that answers, and not just from the reporters. Like the reporter stuff was mostly filler, and the Persphone and Hades stuff was like yeah we know dont need to drag this on.

My questions are WHAT ARE THE RED EYES? Is it when she’s mad? Horny? Sad? Happy? I feel like the red eyes just show up whenever RS wants to draw them

Flying? I feel like Persphone has always been flying like it wasn’t a bug moment at all. She flew home when Minthe and Hades kissed. But apperently Demeter didn’t know? I guess I don’t remember her flying in the mortal realm but her flying didn’t seem like a big moment, none of the other characters seemed surprised by it.

“Answer mine first!” When i got to that line I reread some of it just to find where the question was. That line normally matters when you’ve already asked the question not if you haven’t gotten there yet. Like of course Demeter is gonna be worried and ask a million questions.

I know the pomegranate pin is gonna be important but I felt the focus on it was a little too much, like an excuse not to cover more this chapter. Because honestly it felt like 5 minutes of the plot was covered in this chapter. 

10. So uh, whats up with Hades weird ass comments... Like "Persephone you look beautiful and if someone says otherwise they can go play on the highway" ???

Because Persephone looking good during a murder trial is clearly the most important thing here.

Also, Perse's response to the reporter who asked her about her friendship with Hades. I mean, on one hand Persephone is right, her "friendship" (or whatever it is they have going on) is nobodies business but her own - but at the same time, its kinda also the underworld denizens right to know in the sense that their future leadership could be affected so they might want to know whats going on if their getting a new co-ruler / Queen that they will be subjects of. They probably will want to know who Persephone is, should she and Hades get married because it's very likely that when (cause lets be real its a 'when' not 'if' they get married) they do get married that Persephone will inherit half the title.

So, eh?

[terreisa]

Love Down the Line: Chapter 10

The last thing Indie musician Emma Swan needs is a gigantic wrench thrown in the workings of her biggest tour to date weeks before its launch.  When her backing guitarist that caused the problem says she has the perfect solution Emma is skeptical but left with little choice but to accept.  Unfortunately she isn’t really prepared for said solution to be former Rock Star and leading man of Emma’s teenage fantasies, Killian Jones.  With no other options and a month of performing across the country ahead of her Emma just hopes she doesn’t come to regret letting Killian onto her stage and into her life.

Ch 1, Ch 2, Ch 3, Ch 4, Ch 5, Ch 6, Ch 7, Ch 8, Ch 9, AO3

~*CS*~

On the road between Oakland and Portland, May 27th

Emma felt the mattress dip slightly behind her.  She curled in on herself but there wasn’t much room in the bunks of the bus for her to completely avoid whomever it was.  It didn’t mean she wasn’t going to try though, stubbornly keeping her gaze fixed on the wall and not making a peep.

“I’m not going away until you tell me something,” Ruby sighed.  She shifted and Emma felt her stretch out next to her, “You can’t avoid it forever.  It might help to talk about it.”

“What’s there to say?” She asked dully. “It’s all over the internet.”

From the moment she’d stormed out of the office building she’d been hounded by paparazzi.  Her Instagram was full of comments that ran the gamut from cussing her out for kicking Killian off the tour to cussing her out over the leaked, and very edited, audio from her ranting at Walsh.  Will had informed her with an impressed grin that she’d been trending on Twitter for two days along with the hashtag MissHighandMighty.  The only good thing that had happened was Regina was too busy putting out fires to rail at her in person over what she probably saw as her failings and shortcomings.  Instead she’d received and ignored multiple texts that clearly communicated Regina’s increasing frustration with her.  She’d blocked Killian’s number completely.

“You know that’s not what I meant,” Ruby chided.  She paused, “He’s been calling me, asking what happened.  I’ve been letting them go to voicemail, mostly because I don’t know if you want me to answer or what really happened actually, but even if I did I wouldn’t say anything.  Chicks before dicks and all.”

Emma felt herself smile, her first real one in three days, “Yeah, but that’s how you like it.  Dorothy okay with you being out here?”

“Eh-” she could feel Ruby’s shoulders lift behind her in a shrug, “She knew I’d be touring when we first hooked up.  We just got a few extra weeks before it actually happened.  She wasn’t too happy with the drop everything and catch a red eye to LA part of it all, though.  We were about to go on a date, by the way, so thanks for that.”

“Sorry,” she whispered, feeling a bit guilty.

“You can make it up to us later,” Ruby said matter of factly. “Nice attempt at a deflection by the way.”

“Thought I’d try,” she muttered.

“And if I was Tink it might have worked but I’m not so it didn’t.  Time to spill.”

She closed her eyes.  It was just one of the many moments she’d been dreading since seemingly everything in her life had imploded.  In a sort of grim twist of luck it was going to be one of the easier of the conversations she knew needed to happen.  With a resigned sigh she opened her eyes and turned onto her back, though she kept her gaze trained on the underside of the bunk above her.

“How much did you know?” She asked, trying and failing to keep the accusation out of her voice. “Did Regina tell you I’d only go for it if you were the one to bring him in?  Did he flirt and flatter his way into getting you to agree to helping him re-jumpstart his career through me?”

Ruby let out a harsh burst of air, clearly surprised by her question.  She could almost feel the glare aimed at her but kept her eyes focused upward.

“If you really thought that you wouldn’t have made me fly all the way out here to replace him,” Ruby said harshly.  Then she sighed, “I didn’t know what plans Regina had for him or his career but I did know that he’d signed with her.  It’s why she didn’t put up a fight when I suggested he take my place on the tour.  I thought you knew that.”

“No.  I clearly didn’t,” she said shortly.

Ruby sighed again, “Okay, but to be fair it also wasn’t this big secret.  He was just a substitute guitarist, you even told him that.”

“Yeah, well, he turned out to be more,” Emma muttered, hating the catch in her throat.

“Emma-” Ruby lifted herself up on her elbow and hovered over her, her eyes wide, “Did you fall for him?”

“No. We were just…”

She couldn’t force the words ‘having fun’ off her tongue.  Instead she gave a one shoulder shrug, hoping Ruby would get the idea.  That Ruby’s first instinct was dead on wasn’t something Emma wanted to dive into.

Ruby narrowed her eyes and studied her before smirking and flopping back down beside her, “Whatever you two were ‘just’ doing it definitely wasn’t ‘just’ fucking.”

Emma couldn’t help twitching at Ruby’s matter of fact statement.  She hadn’t known that Ruby was a goddamn psychic.  Looking over at her suspiciously she was annoyed to see Ruby looking like a cat that got the canary.

“What did Tink tell you?”

“Oh, it wasn’t Tink,” Ruby said with a sing-song tone, “Will has been complaining non-stop about having to share a room with Tink.  Apparently glitter ruins a man’s reputation.”

“He’s with Belle, he shouldn’t be worrying about his reputation,” Emma grumbled.  Then she sobered, “He’s not telling everyone about that is he?”

Ruby’s grin faded, “You know he wouldn’t do that.”

“I don’t know what anyone wouldn’t do anymore,” she whispered.

“Emma-” Ruby turned onto her side and grabbed her hand, squeezing it, “I’m on your side, always, but you haven’t even given Killian the chance to explain himself.”

She scoffed, “You haven’t heard what Walsh actually told me.  He said that Regina was the one that told him to bring up Killian getting back into music.  She had to have planned it all out with Killian at that goddamn lunch, gotten his okay to do it that way.  There’s fucking pictures of them shaking on it right before Regina came to the studios.”

That had been the final blow.  She had been in line at a grocery store the day after the disastrous interview, waiting to buy emergency Milk Duds and microwave popcorn.  Killian had been calling and texting her with increased frequency and she’d ignored them all.  Her phone had started buzzing in her hand again and in her fumbling to pull it out of her pocket she’d dropped the Milk Duds.  When she’d bent to pick them up her gaze had caught on a tabloid with a blown up picture of Killian, Regina and Robin seated on the patio of a restaurant, the remains of their meal strewn across the table.  Killian and Robin had been shaking hands while Regina looked on in satisfaction.  Emma had dumped the candy and popcorn into a basket of french bread and fled the store, blocking Killian’s number as she did.

“There’s pictures of them sharing a meal,” Ruby said, being annoyingly pragmatic, “And that was a paparazzi shot, so you don’t know that they were plotting anything.”

“He never told me Regina was going to be there,” she said harshly. “I was almost willing to hear Killian out, eventually.  He kept calling and texting and I thought maybe I should give him a chance to explain.  Then I saw that fucking picture.  I asked him what he was going to do that day and he lied straight to my face.  He said he was hanging out with Robin and his son.  No mention of Regina or lunch meetings or that he had even started recording again.  He’s lied to me at least twice that I know of and I have no idea how many more he’s told me since we met.”

She was breathing heavily and as much as she wanted to yell, scream out her frustrations and heartbreak, she was all too aware of the others on the bus waiting for her to do just that.  Tink and Will had been watching her closely for days and while deep down she knew they’d never blab to reporters or post anything on social media they also weren’t the ones she wanted to talk to.  Ruby had been her friend the longest and should have been the perfect person to unload on but Emma still felt like a powder keg, ready to explode.  With a heavy heart she realized that the one person she wanted to vent to was the one person she wanted absolutely nothing to do with.

“So you’re just going to ignore him?  You never want to know what was really going on?” Ruby asked incredulously.

“I can find that out from Regina.  She’s underhanded and does things on her own terms but she never lies about it.  At least not when you ask her straight up,” she said bitterly.

“And don’t you think Killian would too?”

A week earlier she would have been absolutely sure how she would have answered.  Instead she felt as though the rug had been pulled out from beneath her and she’d yet to find her footing.

“I’m just not ready to talk to him yet,” she hedged, knowing Ruby would keep at her like a dog with a bone. “Can we just… not talk about it at all anymore?”

“Okay,” Ruby acquiesced after a small pause where she’d merely looked at her, “but can I ask one more thing?”

Emma rolled her eyes and huffed, “Fine.  What?”

“Were you happy?”

Her breath hitched in her throat and her heart clenched in her chest.  She thought back to the couple of times that she’d woken up before him, able to look at him without a suggestive wag of his eyebrows or salacious twinkle in his eye.  There were the nights they stayed up too late, either on the bus or in their room, talking about everything and nothing.  He’d made soundchecks less of a chore as he joked around with Will or teased Tink about the romance novel that was always sitting on top of whatever flat surface was nearest.  Then there’d been the moments when she’d look at him only to find him already watching her with a soft smile that she was helpless to return.

The memories only made the sting of his betrayal hurt all the more.

“I really, really was.”

For the first time since her world came crumbling down she let herself cry.  She’d held herself together with nothing more than stubborn will and ignoring everything that didn’t have to do with the next show.  As she curled into Ruby’s arms with heaving sobs she vaguely realized it might not have been the best strategy.

Slowly, and nearly a whole box of tissues later, Emma regained control of herself.  Ruby was still curled around her, gently rubbing her back.  She was vaguely aware that at some point Ruby had been whispering to her but she had no idea what she’d been saying.  It didn’t matter much, not when just being there meant more to her than anything Ruby could have said.

“I’m sorry,” Emma murmured, her voice wavering and her nose sounding stuffed.

“Nothing to be sorry for,” Ruby said, tugging on a lock of her hair, “You’re just lucky this was a tour shirt you ruined with all your snot and tears.”

Emma snorted and pulled back but only got an inch away before Ruby crushed her back to her.  She sighed in annoyance even though she hadn’t really wanted to leave the comfort of her embrace.

“You’re going to have to let me go eventually,” she said, even as she relaxed.

“Eh, there’s still a few hours until it’s absolutely necessary,” Ruby said, squeezing her harder.

“What if I have to pee?”

“Babe, you just cried out all of your bodily fluids.  If anything you’ll need a Gatorade but I’ll just yell at Will until he brings it to us-” Ruby scoffed.  Emma felt her tense slightly before she asked quietly, “Do you want me to block Killian’s number?”

Her knee jerk reaction was to say yes.  She felt like she should want to cut Killian out of her life completely.  To make him feel even a sliver of the hurt and uncertainty she was feeling.  However there was something deep inside her that recoiled from that idea, that despite the hell she was going through she still cared enough about him to want to minimize his pain.

“No,” she sniffled, “He’s your friend too.”

“Not right now he’s not.  I mean, I still think you should hear him out but maybe he kinda deserves the cold shoulder for a week or two.”

She shrugged, knowing that Ruby would probably ice Killian out for a month instead.  Which, of course, meant that after that she would most likely put all her energy in encouraging him not to give up.  Then Ruby would simultaneously be wearing her down to get her to call him.  Even thinking about that probable future had her wanting to delete Killian’s number completely, if only to stave off the inevitable.

She fished her phone out from under the tangle of blankets.  While she hadn’t turned it off completely she’d put it on silent and had pretty much ignored every text and email notification since the Walsh audio had leaked.  Regina had told her she’d take care of it and Emma trusted her just enough to believe that she would.

After unlocking it she was greeted with the continued barrage of messages she’d been expecting.  Unable to hold back her frustrated sigh she gave up the pretense of trying to hide what she was doing and pulled out of Ruby’s arms to prop herself up to deal with the never ending tidal wave of texts and emails.  She could feel Ruby’s gaze over her shoulder but made no move to hide her screen, even in the best of times it was hard to keep her from snooping.

Scanning through the emails first she was glad to see that most of it was spam.  A few were from Mary Margaret or David and she suspected that half the texts would be from them too.  There was only one from Regina, though it had been sent at the beginning of the shit hitting the fan telling her to keep a low profile while everything was dealt with.  With grim satisfaction she proceeded to delete the spam, glanced over the ones from Mary Margaret and David with a touch of guilt at their concern and her lack of communication with them.

The texts were another matter completely.  She had been right in thinking that half were from Mary Margaret and David, reiterations of the support and concern from their emails but a touch more frantic as they progressed.  After sending them a quick message that she was alive and would call them once they got to the hotel she grimaced at the ten unread messages from Regina.  Having one message go unread from her was bad enough and Emma knew that when she finally responded Regina would probably reach through the phone and rip her heart out.

The first couple were innocuous, more warnings for her to lie low and to ignore whatever reporters might show up at her hotel or the venue.  Several were updates on how things weren’t progressing with the fight against Walsh.  Then there were the admonishments and disappointment at her continued insistence to keep Killian off the tour.  The final text was a directive: Answer your goddamn phone, that had Emma wincing and noticing for the first time the little indicator that she had voicemails to listen to.  Throwing Ruby a worried glance she tapped on the icon and prepared for the worst.

You have six new voice messages.  To listen to your messages press one- 

Message one:

“It doesn’t look like we’ll need to take legal action but be prepared for the possibility that we will.  We also need to discuss the Jones fiasco.”

End of message. To erase this message press seven.  To listen to your messages press one-  

Message two:

“I don’t appreciate having to leave another voicemail along with the unanswered texts.  Walsh has agreed to issue an apology and his employer is sending him on an unpaid leave of absence for a month.  I would have preferred a firing but they will be generously donating to a charity of your choice and will be giving you final say in your future interviewers if we ever decide to return.  We still need to discuss the Jones fiasco.”

End of message. To erase this message press seven.  To listen to your messages press one- 

Message three:

“Reviews for last night’s show could have been better.  This wouldn’t have been an issue if Ms. Lucas had more than twenty-four hours notice to begin rehearsing.  I am still waiting to hear what happened with Jones.”

End of message. To erase this message press seven.  To listen to your messages press one-

Message four:

“Emma, sweetheart, I just want you to know that David and I both love you very much and we’re here for you.  Call either of us back when you can.”

End of message. To erase this message press seven.  To listen to your messages press one-

Message five:

“I am beginning to lose my patience with you, Miss Swan.  You are not my only client and neither is Mr. Jones.  I cannot do my job if you do not answer your phone.”

End of message. To erase this message press seven.  To listen to your messages press one-

Message six:

“I will be flying up to Portland to discuss matters with you in person.”

End of message. To erase this message press-

Emma hung up and dropped her hand to her lap.  She was screwed.  Regina was a nightmare to deal with when she was irritated but still in a forgiving mood.  In the last message she had sounded beyond pissed and was likely to be even more so by the time they were in the same room together.  Especially since she had told her that she wasn’t intending to rejoin the tour until the final show in Vancouver.

“From the look on your face you probably didn’t hear any good news,” Ruby said cautiously.

“Sorta,” she murmured, “Walsh is going to publicly apologize but he’s really only getting a slap on the wrist as punishment.”

“Asshole,” Ruby snarled.

Humming her agreement she turned her phone over and over in her hands.  She contemplated calling Regina to try and get some of the yelling that was bound to happen over with.  The only problem was if Regina was meeting them in Portland then she was most likely on a flight and wouldn’t be able to answer her phone.  There was no way she was going to play phone tag and end up pissing her off even more than she already was.

“There’s something else, isn’t there?” Ruby was watching her with narrowed eyes. “Is it Killian?”

“Blocked his number, remember?” She sighed tiredly. “I’m pretty sure Regina’s going to murder me when we get to Portland.”

“Regina’s going to be in Portland?  I thought her royal ass wasn’t going to be around until Vancouver.”

“Well, looks like I’ve made her mad enough to change her plans.”

“Shit,” Ruby breathed, “Sucks to be you.”

She huffed out a half-amused laugh, “Thanks.”

“Welcome,” she chirped, gleefully. “So, you’ve got at least a few more hours left to live.  Wanna see how much money we can take Will for?”

“Blackjack or Hold-Em?” She asked, already crawling over her to get out of the bunk.

“Hold-Em,” Ruby said with a devious grin, following her, “He has the most obvious tell I’ve ever seen.  Someone should really tell him.”

A few hours, a couple of hundred miles and one pissed off Will Scarlet later the bus pulled up to their hotel in Portland.  For the most part Emma was able to keep her mind off of everything that had been dragging her down.  It helped that her focus had to stay on her cards while ensuring that Will’s boasting morphed into irritated grumbling until he’d finally thrown down his final hand in disgust and stomped off to his bunk a few more dollars poorer.

As she tallied up her half of the take she warily eyed the front entrance of the hotel.  She’d almost convinced herself that Regina would have been waiting for her, pacing like a caged tiger, ready to strike.  Instead she found herself looking at a couple of bored valet attendants and a few of the other guests entering and leaving, some slowing to gape at the bus as it came to a stop.  To her great relief there were no reporters or paparazzi in sight, unlike their hotel in Oakland.

“I’ll let the front desk know we’re here,” Tink volunteered, popping out of her bunk like a jack in the box.

Before Emma could thank her she had already skipped down the stairs and was making her way into the hotel.  Shaking her head at Tink’s boundless energy she stood herself, stretching out her road weary muscles.  Just as she was about to move to gather up her stuff to take up to the room she caught sight of Regina striding out of the hotel’s entrance.  The furious look on her face made Emma’s stomach drop to her toes.

“Uh, you guys should go,” she called out, keeping her eyes on the advancing Regina.

“You already drained me dry and now you’re makin’ demands?  I’ll go when I’m good and ready,” Will scoffed, his voice muted.

She felt Ruby come up behind her, “I’ll just wait for- oh.  Will, let’s go!”

“What the bleedin’ hell for?” He growled, she heard him drop from his bunk and stomp towards them, “It’ll take Tink at least twenty minutes to get everythin’ all sorted out and since I’m bunkin’ with the crew, thanks to you and that wanker havin’ a row-”

“If your accommodations aren’t to your liking Mr. Scarlet-” Regina said icily as she ascended the stairs into the bus, “I can arrange for something more suitable, a Triple A recommended motel perhaps?”

Looking over at Will she saw his Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed hard before grinning cheekily, “Ah, won’t be necessary, luv, seein’ as motels never have a decent bar.  Shall we, Red?”

Ruby looked torn.  Emma nodded, giving her the okay to leave even though she desperately wanted her to stay.  Unfortunately she knew that Regina would lay into her no matter who was there to witness it.  Regina had already made it clear that she was annoyed that Ruby had replaced Killian.  If Ruby stuck around she’d most likely fight on Emma’s behalf and get sent back to Maine for her trouble.  The last thing she wanted was to give Regina the opportunity to bring Killian back on.

Will had already left the bus and Ruby followed reluctantly, her gaze narrowed at Regina’s back until she disappeared out the door.  Steeling herself Emma waited for the oncoming tirade.

“Have a seat Miss Swan,” Regina said icily, brushing past her and sitting down at the bus’ small table.

“A please would be nice,” she muttered, low enough to not be heard while doing as she was told.

Regina watched her silently.  Emma fought against the urge to fidget, feeling a lot like she was an unruly student about to be reprimanded by the principal.

“Mr. Hoakley’s apology has been released-” Regina began without preamble, “His producer and the company have also issued their statements.  Unfortunately, the edited audio is still being circulated despite the original recording and a transcript being released and you’re still trending negatively on Twitter.  We haven’t seen any major drop in overall sales or requests for ticket refunds but there has been a dip.  Enough of one that the label is insisting that you release a statement of your own.”

“What?  I-”

“I am talking Miss Swan, you will only listen,” Regina said sharply.  She paused, clearly waiting for her to try and argue.  When she didn’t she continued, “I have already written the response which will be posted to your Instagram today along with a photo from the tour.  You will also be doing a live session tomorrow morning to answer fan questions.  The questions will be chosen and looked over beforehand to prevent any more mishaps.  If everything goes well we should see a solid bounce back by the time we reach Vancouver.

“Now, concerning Mr. Jones-”

“I could have kicked him off the tour at any time, we put it in the fucking contract,” she said hotly, annoyed at having been dressed down and feeling defensive over the decision she still wasn’t sure about.

Regina’s brown eyes flashed, “Yes, which saved you from being dropped from the label entirely.”

“Wh-” Emma could feel the blood draining from her face, “What?”

“Despite what you may think you are not as indispensable to them as to take the liberties you already have.  The fiasco with Mr. Hoakley was bad enough and while you were in the right the label saw your combativeness as a strike against you.  Dropping Mr. Jones from the tour at the same time was a misstep that jeopardized both your careers.  Yours more so than his.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?  How is that fair?” She asked in disbelief, feeling irate heat crawling up her neck.

“It isn’t, but that’s how this industry works, Miss Swan,” Regina said flatly. “Mr. Jones is an established artist with a built in fan base and therefore guaranteed record sales.  His past troubles are well documented and any misstep he could make wouldn’t come as a surprise even with his turnaround and the years spent in reclusivity.  You, on the other hand, have only begun to bring in returns on the investments the label has made.  Having Mr. Jones on the tour was his tacit endorsement of you and could have drawn a new demographic of listeners to your music.  Instead you’ve made it appear as though you were doing him some great favor instead of the other way around.”

“I don’t need his or anyone’s help,” she growled. “I’ve already made it this far on my own.”

“You made it to open mic nights and small bookings at bars on your own.  A world you are closer to returning to than you think,” Regina warned. “I suggest addressing how thankful you are that the label has been supporting you during this time.  It’ll be a step towards getting back in their good graces.”

“This is ridiculous-” she threw up her arms in frustration, “I did nothing wrong and I’m getting punished for it.”

“Again, this is how things work and you are not the only one being reprimanded for your behavior,” Regina snapped.

She frowned, “What do you mean?”

“I have been in meetings and taking phone calls for the past three days fighting on solely your behalf-” for the first time Regina seemed to soften, a wry twist to her lips. “There is nothing worse than trying to convince a group of old, out of touch, decidedly male record executives to consider for a moment what a young woman in the industry has to deal with on a daily basis.  Let alone trying to explain the capriciousness of social media trends.  Regardless what you may think, I am on your side Emma.”

“Wait, I’m confused-” she sat back, crossing her arms over her chest, “You just spent the last fifteen minutes chewing me out.”

“And you spent the last three days ignoring my calls-” Regina said pointedly. “If you’d actually answered any of them I might have been more patient in explaining everything to you.”

“So if I’d answered you would have been less of a bitch?” She asked sardonically.

Regina pursed her lips and glared at her, “Seeing as I’m the one currently keeping your ass out of the fire I’m going to pretend you didn’t say that.”

“So, I post my statement and do an awkward live thingy to get things back on track,” she said in lieu of apologizing.  There was no way in hell she was going to give Regina the satisfaction. “Anything else?”

“We still need to discuss what happened with Jones,” Regina said with a raised eyebrow, folding her hands together on the table.

“Jesus,” she muttered under her breath.  Dropping her head back she sighed, “Do we really or can we pretend we did and go get drunk at the bar instead?”

There was a pregnant pause before Emma heard Regina shifting in her seat, as though she were uncomfortable.  Curious she swung her head back down and was surprised to see an almost concerned look on Regina’s face.  She must have let her confusion show because Regina rolled her eyes.

“We may not exactly be friends, Emma, but I do have your best interests at heart.  What happened with Jones the day of the interview? You were eager to be done with the day and back with him as soon as possible, then a few hours later you dropped him from the tour and cut off all communication.  As your manager I need to know if there’s going to be any issues in the future that can be quietly dealt with now-” the concerned look returned, “As someone who worries about you I want to know that he hasn’t done anything to hurt you.”

Emma burst into laughter, unable to help herself.  She should have known that Regina would have no clue why she’d practically fallen apart.  In Regina’s mind she was merely doing her job of getting her clients’ careers to the next level.  It wouldn’t have occurred to her that she might have been the reason for it all going to shit.

Catching sight of Regina’s bewildered stare threw Emma into a fresh gale of laughter.  As tears of mirth streamed down her face she fought to catch her breath and wondered almost idly if she’d finally lost her damn mind.  Several minutes passed before she was finally able to get ahold of herself and look Regina in the eye.

“Are you quite finished?” Regina asked, clearly exasperated.  At her nod she leaned forward, “Now, will you please tell me what it is I said that had you laughing like a madwoman?”

“Do you worry about me or my career?” She said instead of answering, quirking her lips in a wry smile.  Regina’s brows drew down in consternation and Emma sighed, knowing they were only heading towards a fight, “Killian didn’t do anything.  He got what he wanted out of touring with me so it was time for him to go.  End of story.”

“That sounds more like the middle of the story-” Regina leaned forward, “Explain.”

“There’s nothing to explain,” she sighed, completely over the conversation. “Being on tour got him back in the saddle or taking that first giant leap or whatever.  He’s working on new, amazing stuff with the hit-maker Robin Locksley, which is what you want from a new client.  Right?  So I let him go and we’re both moving onto bigger and better things.  Everyone’s a winner.  Can I please go get a drink now?”

Regina had slowly straightened in her seat during her small tirade.  She was sitting rigidly, looking at her with an unreadable expression.  After a moment she shook her head, Emma somehow felt it was in disappointment, and stood from the table.

“I’ll send you the statement to post and options for the photo to go along with it.  The live Q and A needs to happen before nine tomorrow morning, I will be sending along the pre-approved questions as well.  Stick to those and hopefully you’ll come out of this relatively unscathed.”

Emma stared up at her, almost annoyed she hadn’t pushed the Killian issue further, “Okay…”

“Have a good evening, Miss Swan.” With that Regina strode off.  Emma watched her go, flabbergasted by the abrupt departure when Regina stopped at the top of the stairs leading off the bus and turned back, “Just so you know, Mr. Jones is refusing to do any work on the album the label has him on contract for.  Mr. Locksley, a close, personal friend of his I believe, is having difficulties convincing him to even pretend to work on it to appease the label.  He is perilously close to being in breach of contract with them and is refusing to answer my calls as I try to salvage what’s left of his career.  But everyone's a winner, right?”

Regina didn’t wait for her to answer, stepping down off the bus without any further acknowledgement.  Emma sat there with a growing sense of unease, staring blankly at the spot that Regina had been standing.  The part of her that hadn’t wanted to see Killian in pain was trying to twist Regina’s words into lies, make everything she’d said another ploy to boost sales or something, anything to keep her mind clear of the idea that Killian was sabotaging himself for her.  Yet the longer she sat there the more her unease grew, knowing that what Regina had said was exactly something that Killian would do.

Antsy she got up from the table and paced between it and her bunk.  She no longer wanted a drink, just the thought of drowning her sorrows and problems had her remembering Killian’s hard fought for sobriety to face his own issues head on.  With each pass she made in the small space she teetered back and forth between believing Regina and vilifying her, both of which would have her making decisions she wasn’t ready to make.

Groaning in frustration she dove into her bunk, wanting nothing more than to hide away there and hope that everything would just fix itself.  Her self pitying was interrupted by a phone buzzing at her hip.  Reaching underneath her she pulled it out, expecting to see her old, battered but still functional phone and instead found her fingers wrapped around Ruby’s practically new iPhone in its protective red case.  Surprised that she’d left it behind Emma flipped the phone over to see who was calling.  When she saw Killian’s name on the screen she nearly threw it across the bus.

She eyed the still buzzing phone like it was a snake about to strike.  There were a million reasons for her to ignore it, to let it go to voicemail and have Ruby give her the gist of the message.  There was only one reason for her to answer and it was that that had her swiping up and pressing the phone to her ear before she could think better of it.

“Thank god,” Killian sighed in relief, the sound shooting straight to Emma’s heart, “Ruby, lass, I don’t know what’s going on and I won’t ask but please, just tell me that Emma’s alright.  I’ll stop calling, anything, I just... please, I just need to know.”

Her breath had backed up in her throat at the plea in Killian’s voice.  He also sounded exhausted, his accent dragging across the words much like they had when they’d stayed up too late, nose to nose talking the night away.  The memory had her breath hiccuping out of her in a half sob.

“What’s wrong?  Is it Emma?  Ruby, is she okay?”

His panicked questions had her biting her cheek to get a hold of herself.  She closed her eyes and gripped the phone as though her life depended on it.

“I’m okay, Killian.”

“Swan?” He breathed and she could hear his unfolding hope in the single word, “Love, is that you?”

“It’s me,” she whispered.

“Swan, Emma, I…” he huffed in either frustration or disbelief she wasn’t sure, “Dammit, love, I had so many things I wanted to say and now I can’t think of a single thing.”

She took in a shuddering breath, “Just tell me why.”

“Why?  Why what?”

“Why didn’t you just tell me that you were trying to get your big comeback?  That’s all this was, wasn’t it?  You could have just told me that.  You didn’t have to lie to me,” she had tried to keep her tone even, unaffected, but had ended on a growl nonetheless.

“I never lied,” he said vehemently.  She scoffed and he made a strangled noise, “Emma, listen to me, when have I lied?  Yes, I admit, being on the tour may have begun as a stepping off point but it became more than that.  We became more than that.”

“A lie by omission is still a lie, Killian,” she said emphatically.  She couldn’t focus on how heartfelt he’d sounded when talking about them, not when he’d also confirmed everything she’d been worrying about. “It’s not like it matters anyway, you got what you want.  Your name’s back out there, people are interested.  Congrats on the record contract by the way.”

“None of that bloody matters to me,” he snapped. “If you’d just listen-”

“No,” she said, cutting him off, “You had your chance to explain when you first auditioned.”

“Emma-” his voice cracked, “please.”

“I- I can’t take the chance that I’m wrong about you-” her voice wavered, tears lodged in her throat, “I’m sorry.”

She cut off the call but not before she heard him say her name once more.  The phone immediately began buzzing in her hand but she swiped to ignore the call, quickly shutting off the phone completely to resist the temptation to answer.  She then curled into a ball and gave into her tears.

[stina-is-a-punk-rocker]

‘always and forever, lara jean’: a bungled mess of my thoughts while watching the movie

Alright, cards on the table: I never finished reading the book. I got bored a couple of pages in, so I just read up the summary on Wikipedia and called it a day.

Not gonna lie, I expected better from the movies. I loved the first movie; it was cute, it was fun, it hit all the right places. The second movie was… eh. Jordan Fisher is cute, so that’s a plus.

And then we got the third movie; the final in the To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before trilogy.

And it was somehow even worse.

Maybe I’m exaggerating. Despite its shortcomings in the plot and character development-related departments (the fact that Lara Jean wrote addresses for letters she never meant to send is something that will bother me on my deathbed), the movies have their merits. They’re cutesy and charming and enjoyable, overall; movie-LJ is sweet and unashamedly a girly-girl, which is a refreshing change from the #NotLikeOtherGirls, pick-me girls and bruh girls we had in loads of other YA movies growing up. Peter’s pretty cute, too; he’s not a possessive freak like so many other love interests (The Kissing Booth, After, Anna and the French Kiss), and his and Lara Jean’s dynamic is cute, too. Not to mention- we finally have an Asian lead whose Asian-ness isn’t the whole focus of the story!

Again, maybe I’m being extra with all this. The series is, at its core, solely for entertainment purposes. Not every piece of media has to have an underlying message and you shouldn’t need to read between every goddamn line to find something worthy of enjoying. They’re certainly helpful for whiling away a couple of hours; perfect for bingeing with a pint of ice cream in hand, and all of this is in good fun.

Also, it goes without saying, but: spoilers ahead.

The film beings with Lara Jean scribbling a postcard to Peter while she’s in Korea with her family. The inclusion of that little snapshot of Asian culture made me so happy- seriously, fuck everyone who says diversity in media doesn’t matter. I’m not even Korean, and I was overjoyed at seeing a couple of scenes just from the same continent I’m on. The K-pop music in the background was a fun touch, too (although all Korean music isn’t K-pop, but that’s a rant for another day).

(Also: Blackpink has so many more suitable songs than Pretty Savage that go with the theme of the movies. Kill This Love in the second movie while Lara Jean is getting ready to go to her boyfriend’s match is bad enough- they’re supposed to be in love in that scene, goddammit.)

One thing that bothered me throughout the movies is how obviously non-Korean Lara Jean and Margot look. It’s like whoever chose the cast went for any random Asian- Lana’s Vietnamese and Janel Parrish is half-Chinese, and it’s so obvious. You seriously couldn’t find two Korean-Americans who even vaguely resembled each other so they could pass for sisters? The actresses do a stunning job and I don’t want to shit on them, but I just wish they didn’t go with the ‘all Asians look the same, what’s the difference?’ mindset.

Also, a nitpicky thing I’ve noticed in movies with characters who read a lot: no one holds their books up while they’re reading. Your arms start to cramp, which is why you keep your book in your lap while you’re reading, or you rest on your belly and hold the book in front of you. My spine and shoulders didn’t suffer years of torture as a chronic reader for you to include characters who hold their books up while reading.

A major gripe I have with Always and Forever, Lara Jean is how the characters are almost jarringly out of character- not from the books, but from the two previous movies, too. Lara Jean didn’t have much of a character to begin with, so I can’t say much about her (she dissed Oasis at one point; it’s okay for me to be mean to her), but the rest of them are either caricatures of themselves or just totally different people.

Movie Peter >>> Book Peter. He’s almost too perfect (except for the fact that he unironically loves The Fast and the Furious, which… ew), almost too much of the ideal boyfriend. Not that my perpetually single arse would know. How do boyfriends even work? I wouldn’t know the first thing to do with one; how often should you feed it? Do you need to take it on walks?

(In the notes I’ve written towards the end of the film, I’ve complained about Peter being immature and making Lara Jean feel bad about following her dream to go to NYU. He confuses me.)

Not to mention how distractingly adorable Noah Centineo is from some angles and under certain lighting conditions (other times, he reminds me of the human version of Shrek and that bothered me). King of weird Tweets and Instagram captions though he may be, he’s got a really nice smile, and his gravelly voice is both parts sexy and disturbing.

But I digress.

I’ll never forgive the directors for what they did to Kitty and Chris- two of my favorite characters, from both the books and the movies. Kitty’s annoying to the point of being borderline unlikeable- gone is the occasionally snarky comic relief we all came to love; in her place is an annoying brat whose every line comes out forced. Also, making soap is fun; fuck you, Kitty.

Chris is essentially Dixie D’Amelio’s character from that TikToker Grey’s Anatomy ripoff; the main character in One Direction fanfiction from 2012 who doesn’t want to go to the concert but her best friend gets a ticket for her so she can’t bail but Harry Styles sees her in the crowd and falls in love at first sight and 50k of mutual pining and misunderstandings late, they get together. She’s cynical and snarky and hates capitalism and consumerism and prom (because of course she does), but secretly, she’s into it (because of course she is). My guess is that she’s there to appease all the arseholes (including myself) who accused the characters of being too one-dimensional, but it seems too out of place in a movie that doesn’t have much plot to begin with.

I really, really hate how Lucas was done dirty- throughout every single movie. Of course, it’s Lara Jean’s story so not every side character has to be fully fleshed out- but you’d think three. entire. movies. would be enough to give Lucas a bigger role than the GBF and the token black guy for the diversity brownie points. Every single time Lucas shows up, it’s to push Lara Jean and Peter’s story forward. I would’ve liked to see a romance for him pushed forward instead one for Chris- especially because he says, at one point in a previous movie, that it’s hard to find other gay boys, so it would’ve been sweet to see him find love- and Chris’s character arc could’ve been focused on reconciling with Genevieve. Instead, we see the OG Reggie from Riverdale be the one to show Chris the bright side of monogamy, and Lucas gets a date to prom as an afterthought (another darkskin black dude, so no one thinks the film is racist).

Genevieve’s character in this movie gives me whiplash. Look, I’m all for girls supporting girls- healthy female relationships are something way too many YA movies lack- but she goes from bitch queen extraordinaire to friendly the moment the next scene calls for it. Her character isn’t consistent. A redemption arc should be executed cleanly and believably; you can’t have a character be a total prick one moment and then suddenly be, “Hey, if you get into NYU, let me know,” the next.

And Genevieve’s still an arsehole to Chris; at one point, in NYC, while they’re at the NYU campus grounds (I knew that Lara Jean was going to go to NYU the moment she saw all the banners; I fucking called it), Genevieve tells Chris, “University is for people who actually have a future,” and I recoiled. I’m not the nicest of people and yet that was going too far. Chris doesn’t hesitate to shoot back a, “You peaked in high school,”, but still. Y i k e s. You can’t convince me someone’s turned over a new leaf when they say something like that.

Lara Jean’s dad (forgot his name; gonna call him Dr. Covey) is as unremarkable as ever, and his new wife (forgot her name, too… Trisha? Trina? Eh, something like that) is… unsettling. I mean, I get that they’re all loved up and twitterpatted, but there’s something about all the smiling they’ve got going on that chills me to the bone.

Also, Trisha/Trina kinda looks like TikTok’s ThatVeganTeacher and it bothers me.

Another huge problem with this movie even being made is that the series never had enough plot to continue onto a trilogy. Lara Jean’s letters are what the plots of the first and second movies revolve around; the third only mentions them in passing. The final love letter from Peter was a cute callback, but there’s a massive continuity issue with the first two movies and this last one- both character and plot-wise.

Maybe I’m not articulating this clearly enough, so I’ll use an example: take Harry Potter, for example. Harry’s main goal throughout the series is defeating Voldemort. And it takes all seven books for him to get there, to finally achieve this.

Lara Jean’s goal in the first movie changes midway; from keeping up the façade with Peter so she can avoid the crap with the rest of the letters getting out, to making her fake relationship real. It forms a bridge with the second movie; the letter that went out to John Ambrose, and her dithering between Peter and perfection (I’m not sorry). But what does the third movie have to do with any of this?

There were way too many music montages. You couldn’t go five minutes without a random pop song playing in the background, and it was annoying as hell. Don’t Look Back in Anger was w a s t e d on this stupid film. The artsy scenery shots were even worse- no, I don’t give a fuck about the New York skyline or a bird’s eye view of whatever vehicle Lara Jean is in. A few shots of Seoul would’ve sufficed; the rest was overkill. This movie is way too damn long already (almost 2 entire hours!!!); cut out a couple of those. No one cares.

I thought they’d pull the whole Aladdin trope with character-A-keeps-trying-to-tell-character-B-the-truth-about-a-lie-B-believes-in-about-A-but-B-keeps-interrupting, but Lara Jean (typing her name out is annoying, why couldn’t she have a single name, like both of her sisters?) comes clean earlier than I expected. Peter’s reaction about LJ not getting into Stanford is… uncharacteristically mature? No “Why did you lie to me?”, no accusations, not an ounce of betrayal. Which I did not expect from a guy who’s a little bitch for the greater part of book one (I really don’t like Book Peter, in case you couldn’t tell). I know fuck-all about book three’s Peter, so I can’t tell if he really did adopt this mature, well-adjusted persona, or the movie did it to make Peter seem like less of a dick (like they did it with the sextape-that-wasn’t-a-sextape in the first installment).

On a sidenote, how do these main characters in YA books get into really good colleges with zero to no visible effort? These arseholes fuck around for the entirety of the story and have way too much going on to actually do schoolwork, but they waltz into Ivy Leagues at the end. And apparently, I’m not the only one bothered by this.

There’s something to be said about how the movies don’t really sexualize minors (characters who are minors, to be fair. None of the MCs look anything like teenagers), though. It’s almost weird to see them not getting drunk and partying and having sex all the time. Maybe that’s why Lara Jean trying to get her hand on Peter’s dick felt so stilted and awkward (I cringed so hard when she kept trying to touch him and he kept pushing her hand away, holy shit).

And the kissing. It’s to be expected from a romance film, but there was so. Much. Kissing.

The amount of product placements (… actually, I could count only two: Apple and a pair of Beats headphones Lara Jean puts on at one point, but the movie shoved so many iPhones in my face that I’m obligated to exaggerate) would’ve made anti-capitalist Chris mad.

I’m guessing this all takes place in a parallel universe, sans the coronavirus. Still, being in quarantine this past year and being socially awkward for every other one, it was agonizing seeing everyone so close together in NYC. When Peter kissed the ball (lol) (I have the sense of humor of a straight boy in middle school, don’t judge me) when him and Lara Jean go bowling, I had a visceral reaction. And what are the odds of Peter meeting his estranged dad at the very same bowling alley?

Speaking of Peter’s daddy issues (I’ve written “Hardin but diluted” in my notes; I watched this movie at, like, 1 AM; I’m not entirely sure what was going through my head at that point)- I hated how they guilt-tripped Peter into giving his father another chance. In the wise words of Hannah Montana, everybody makes mistakes- but leaving your wife and two kids for another woman is pretty far from a little oopsie on Mr. Kavinsky’s part. I don’t blame Peter for hating him, and I’m not in a place to judge whether Mr. Kavinsky (does he get a first name?) should be forgiven or not, but I feel like they let him off too easy and made Peter seem like a misunderstood teenager with anger issues for not accepting Mr. Kavinsky’s (crappy) apology at once.

And it adds nothing to the story at all; Mr. Kavinsky peaces out after having one (01) coffee with his firstborn, and he’s never seen again. If you’re going to introduce a subplot, make it tie into the main storyline- the very least you could do is make it an important enough part of the story to have more than 10 minutes of the run time. It makes no sense as to why they’d bring up Peter’s dad in this last film, when he’s already gone through two perfectly fine. I guess it was a ‘tying everything up’ part… even though no one cared.

Lara Jean’s handwriting is surprisingly ugly for someone who’s written that many love letters. And her styling took a definite nosedive; her outfits in the first movie were so effing cute, but now they’re just… meh.

There are so many conversations and lines that the writers must’ve thought sounded good enough for someone to type out the quote in curly font and slap it on a screenshot from the movie to post on Instagram, but when it comes to the actual delivery, they just sounded… weird.

Peter says one time near the beginning of the film, “You know what I’m looking forward to the most in college? Never having to say goodnight,” because he expects him and Lara Jean to get into the same college.

But I guess the word they should’ve used was ‘good-bye’, because this just makes him sound stupid.

At one point, Lara Jean asks Kitty how much Kitty’s gonna miss her when she goes off to college, and Kitty says, “A four.” Later on, she confesses, “I’m gonna miss you a twelve, Lara Jean,” and all I could think was, “But we’re endgame, Archie!”

(In hindsight, I probably shouldn’t let people know I’ve watched Riverdale; it lessons my credibility.)

Still, there remains some good to be found: all the baked goods looked very delicious and made me crave chocolate chip cookies. Peter wearing the socks Lara Jean gifted him at the beginning of the movie was a cute gesture, and Lara Jean giving Peter her teal hatbox? The one she kept her love letters in? Was so? Cute? Help?

And hey, it’s a cliché that’s been done to death, but I’m always a sucker for that part in movies where the girl walks down the stairs in a pretty dress with her hand on the banister and the boy turns around and his mouth falls open and all he can say is, “Wow,”- and this film did not disappoint! Not to mention how cute both Lara Jean’s and Chris’s prom dresses were.

Dr. Covey and Trisha/Trina’s wedding was cute, too- I struggled to decide whether Kitty wearing a necklace that says ‘feminist’ and a tux is a bit too on-the-nose, but I’ve decided that it’s nothing to get my knickers all in a twist about (for clarification: it’s not the necklace or the crossdressing that made me debate this; I just wish they didn’t make a big deal out of it- I wish they didn’t have Kitty and Lara Jean get into an argument about her not wearing a dress, if that makes sense?).

And the final letter- the one from Peter to Lara Jean- I ate that shit up; it was so, so, so cute.

In conclusion (why is it so easy for me to crank out 3k about my thoughts on a Netflix movie and yet when it comes to English Lit. at school, I’d stare at a blank sheet of foolscap for ages?), did I enjoy the movie? Not really. There were parts of it that I liked, but it was overall too boring and I kept wishing I’d watched the new SKZ Code episode instead every few minutes.

But that doesn’t mean that it was bad. I kinda feel a little sad, actually, now that Lara Jean and Peter’s story has come to a close; To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before, the first movie, is one of my favorites, and bitch though I might about them, the kinda grew on me… like an innocent plant, at first, but then like a fungus. Not a parasitic fungus, just not mutualistic, either… kind of like a commensal.

Maybe I should stop with the biology similes.

[deltaengineering]

Winter Anime 2020 Reviews: brought to you by quarantine

aw shit look who’s got the time to do some of these again yeah that’s right it’s me

22/7

For 11/12 of its runtime this was an astonishingly forced exercise in hacky tragic backstory that thoroughly answers the question of what happens when assembly line jobbers jump on the already rickety KyoAni bandwagon. So I was ready to give it a well deserved meme score of 3.14/10. Then it remembered it actually had a gimmick and managed to completely fail at that as well, with one of the most thematically misguided endings I can think of. Oh well, if nothing else I laughed. 2/10

Asteroid in Love

Well, it’s competent and inoffensive. What else can I say? I guess it’s pretty amusing how blatant the gay marriage implications get by the end, but that’s not really, you know, quality all by its own (and Harukana Receive does it better). It’s also weird how its first season clearly ends at episode 9 and it just quickly does a second one in the time it has left. Apart from that it’s a slightly above-average Kiraralike with good character moments but a real drought of content (note: dropping exposition on your topic isn’t content) in the middle. Fun enough, but really doesn’t leave me wanting more. 6/10

Dorohedoro

This had much potential to suck but then it didn’t. The biggest surprise was that Dorohedoro is a comedy; a splatter comedy with a core story worth taking seriously, yes, but this is not horror, or mystery, or even action, even if it has all those elements at points. And it manages to be consistently funny. The other big surprise is that the nonsense really does start to come together and is meaningful where it counts, so it has much better worldbuilding than most. Looks really good too - you might take exception to the CG, but it allowed MAPPA to make the rest look great so it’s overall still a plus. Definitely needs a sequel though, because the plot seems to just get started and then it ends like there’s an episode next week. 8/10

ID: INVADED

Ei Aoki’s Inception fanfic turned out very nice, with neat visuals, cool characters and a story that comes together in the end. I mean, come on, it’s an anime where Kenjiro Tsuda literally talks people to death, how can I not like it. It’s not perfect; it’s stuck with some pacing problems, strangely superfluous side characters and ultimately less ambition than it could (maybe even should) have. But it’s also weird in a good way and moderately thoughtful without being pretentious about it. 8/10

If My Favorite Pop Idol Made It to the Budokan, I Would Die

Romantic comedy? Eh, maybe not quite. Funny riffing on wota dumbassery without being mean-spirited about it? Yep. Oshibudo gets the tone (the critical aspect in a show like this) right and it actually ranks fairly high simply as an idol show when that’s not even the point, which is really surprising. It’s just very charming, even if a little simple. 8/10

Keep Your Hands Off Eizouken!

So everyone’s losing their shit over how great Eizouken is and I’m just like nah, man. Not that it’s truly bad, it certainly has its fun moments and undeniably cool animation at times. But it really says a lot when in a show supposedly all about how amazing creativity is, the no-fun-allowed producer is the only character I like - Kanamori is indeed great, shame about Nerdlinger and Plot Device though. And it’s full of the kind of standard boomer animation bromides that just make me think “well, if Ghibli is supposed to be so great, why am I watching this instead of the real thing?” It also has notably poor and uncreative use of background music, which wouldn’t irk me as much if it wasn’t lecturing on the topic. At this point I’m fairly certain that I simply don’t like Yuasa’s style much, no matter what he does. 6/10

Magia Record: Puella Magi Madoka Magica Side Story

So I’m watching the “final” episode of this and I realize that I care about this random, poorly explained fanservice fight between Mami and Sayaka much more than I care about any of the characters this show is ostensibly about. And that’s pretty much Magireco in a nutshell: It has very little of its own, what it does have is split among way too many video game characters, and it’s at its best when it’s just being dumb and bombastic or lazily replicating the style of Madoka. It’s definitely not good (and the things it does to the Madoka lore are double ungood), but as long as you keep in mind that it’s just meaningless Madoka-ish things, it’s barely entertaining enough. 5/10

Natsunagu!

Natsunagu turned out to be a pleasant (if very cheap) short film that’s severely compromised by broken up into weekly 3-minute chunks. Episodes that short can work, but not for material that depends on atmosphere and character engagement. I can only assume I’d like it more if I watched it all in one go. 5/10

Science Fell in Love, So I Tried to Prove It

This one started out as a one-note romantic comedy with the rare novel note, which then got more and more tired as it went on, and the introduction of decidedly less novel characters didn’t help. But by the end it recovered somewhat from not being much good at comedy anymore by being actually pretty good at paying off a romance, which is maybe even rarer. Remove bear though, what the hell. 6/10

Somali and the Forest Spirit

Somali just kept doing its thing (which is dadfeels/protect the blob). Still can’t think of another show so intensely laser-focused on that one thing, to the point they’re constructing an entire fantasy universe around it. I liked the fluffy/introspective parts a lot more so than the grimdark/”let’s get Somali into some danger so dad can rescue her” ones, but at least the former ones are more common overall, and I understand that both are important for the other one to work. So yeah, good show, even if I wish it used the big guns less often. 7/10

Toilet-Bound Hanako-kun

I wasn’t too hot on this one at first (apart from the looks, which were always really cool), but I have to say it has won me over by the end. It has likeable and occasionally funny characters, some meat to its setting and a mildly interesting streak of intrigue running though it. Of course it also doesn’t really answer anything, but I’m satisfied. 7/10

Yatogame-chan Kansatsu Nikki S2

Peer pressure presents: the other tourism short of the season, ft. material that fits the format. While it’s still not really good, it’s an improvement over S1. Mainly because it stops trying to extract humor from the characters themselves and gets back to dropping the hot #nagoyatruths, which are the thing I’m here for. 6/10

[coll2mitts]

#65 Beauty and the Beast (2017)

I’m burning through my Disney+ subscription, and instead of this forever cursing my drafts section until I work my way through the other lower movies on this list, you’re getting this one now.

Beauty and the Beast was my favorite Disney movie as a child.  Belle was smart, she read a lot, and she was a bit of an outcast, which were my only identifiers as a wee lass (other than being obnoxious and constantly having tangled hair).  I'm going to bet that this movie is the reason so many girls my age went through a Paris phase in their tween years.  I did take 3 years of high school French that I have almost no memory of.  

The original's animation is gorgeous, the songs by Alan Menken and Howard Ashman are iconic, and the romance between two people who learn how to trust and support each other... it's probably the reason why I've stayed in terrible relationships for way too long.  My father took me to see this movie in theaters when I was 6, and it is the first movie I remember crying during out of sadness.  There I was, while the Beast was dying, trying to hide the fact tears were streaming down my face because I didn't want my dad to see I was crying and not take me to see another movie again.  When they adapted it for Broadway, I listened to that soundtrack over and over...  "Home" was my favorite song, and the end still makes me cry like a 6-year-old.  It's perfect.

I had attempted to watch this remake once before.  I hated it so much I started drinking, and then peaced out so hard when Lumiere started moving that I had to watch Moana to normalize myself.  Visually, this movie is what happens when the Uncanny Valley turns into the fucking Grand Canyon.  Little did I know that this movie gets worse... much worse... as it goes on, and that Stephen Chbosky, the author and director of The Perks of Being a Wallflower made it this way.  A man who wrote one of my most beloved novels and movie adaptations helped in creating this narrative monstrosity, and that, out of all of this, was the deepest cut of all.

I'm not rehashing the plot, because I have too much to say about why this remake shouldn't exist, and I’m going to guess you’ve either seen the movie or are familiar with this almost 300-year-old story.  It took the source material and just murdered it in its attempts to update it.  I'm going to start positive and work toward the biggest issue I had with it, because I'm currently writing angry and that never turns out well for me.

Things I liked:

This may be controversial, but I did like Josh Gad's performance as LeFou.  I'm not saying what LeFou did made any sense (he suddenly was upset Gaston was making things up again?), but as an actor, Josh Gad was working with what he had, and I think he owned it.

Chip's introduction to Maurice - I actually paused the movie because I was laughing so hard.

The piano playing the funeral march when it tackled LeFou.

When Mrs. Potts said Chip smelled good when he turned back into a little boy.  It was a cute little detail.

The guillotine joke in "Be Our Guest" and the Les Miserables barricade reference.

I actually thought Cogsworth was adorable for being a CGI nightmare.  I don't know how much of my opinion of this was influenced by the voice of Ian McKellan.

I really liked the costumes, except for Belle's gown, which was definitely a downgrade.  Micarah articulated the issues with it perfectly.

Celine Dion singing the credits song was a nice homage to her cover of "Beauty and the Beast", although it sucks she's associated with this nightmare of a remake.

Little quibbles:

Whatever they did to Emma Watson’s voice made her sound like a robot.

Almost all the CGI, especially the Beast, was completely unsettling.  The wardrobe was the worst of it, holy shit.

They went out of their way to explain plot holes like "Why don't the villagers remember the castle?" or “Why is it snowing when it looks like the middle of summer in the village?” or "How did Belle get the Beast up on that horse?" when none of that really matters to the overall narrative.

The reaction to Belle teaching a little girl how to read was unbelievably eye-roll inducing.  Lindsay Ellis' video on this is so fucking good, watch it now - You don't have to read the rest of my ramblings if you do. #beastforshe

Ariana Grande slurring her way through "Beauty and the Beast".

It was nice to see Maurice updated from a manic inventor to a level-headed, sweet, competent, reserved man who treats his daughter like an equal.  Clock-maker Maurice that actually takes care of Belle reads better to me, and I like how they had him wander into the garden to get a rose for her - it's a nice callback to the original story.  The problem with doing this, however, is it negates the "crazy old Maurice" narrative that plays heavily into why the villagers don't believe his tale of the Beast in the first place.  If Kevin Kline, a put-together man (up until this point), wandered into the tavern looking disheveled and conveying a story about his daughter being kidnapped, I'd be like, "Shit, Maurice, what did you see?!".  But instead, the story goes out of its way to put him at the mercy of Gaston, and shoehorn in an attempted murder plot to really turn everyone against him - it's bizarre.

Medium quibbles:

Gaston went from being a well-liked, athletically inclined dude to a literal predator and murderer.  Belle was a beautiful status symbol in the original movie, but she becomes literal game to Gaston in the remake, as he refers to her as prey, or something to be hunted.  When Maurice gets in-between him and Belle, Gaston punches him in the face and leaves him out in the forest to be eaten by wolves?!  What does this add to the story?!  Gaston wasn't right for Belle because he wasn't kind and didn't intellectually stimulate her, but that nuance is wasted on the remake, turning him into a full-blown vengeful villain that will literally kill Belle's family to get what he wants.

The first time Belle is brought to her room, there is this long panning shot showing off how nice it is, and she comments, in wonder, how she thinks its beautiful.  They had the fucking nerve to play “Home” in the background of this scene, completely ignoring the original context of the song is sadness and despair.  But go off, I guess...

The Big Enchilada:

This is where my notes went from eh????? to WHAT THE FUCK, so be prepared.  How someone with enough emotional maturity to write Perks can make the Beast into such an abusive asshole is so fucking beyond me, I'm still trying to process it.

Beauty and the Beast is a romance at heart, which you would never know by watching this movie, as Belle and the Beast have so little chemistry it's painful.  This might be because the Beast is abusive to Belle at every turn in the beginning, making the pivot from enemies to lovers so completely unbelievable it's shocking.  The remake is already at a deficit as the CGI Beast is terrifying, in contrast with the cartoon, which has the ability to make the Beast cuddly with big eyes and an expressive face.  But they still decide to take all of the Beast's inner conflict out of the remake, remove his agency completely out of the relationship with Belle, and make him supremely unlikable in every interaction they have together.

There are a few scenes that illustrate this, starting with the dinner invitation scene:

In the original, the Beast sees the pain he's inflicted by pulling Belle away from her father, and offers her a tour of the castle and a bedroom instead of a prison cell.  He also invites her to dine with him, although he could have gone about it wayyyy better.  He confides in his staff that she is beautiful, and he realizes she can break the spell, but he doesn't know how to appeal to her.  His staff give him tips on how to be charming and not so intimidating.  He is receptive, but overwhelmed, because he hasn't had to interact with any other human in years.  When he discovers she doesn't plan on eating with him, his anger takes over because she refused his hospitality, and he's a king, so how dare she?  The staff try to help him appear genteel, cause again, HE expressed interest in being appealing to her.  When this doesn't immediately work, he throws a massive tantrum and tells them not to feed her.  When he looks at Belle later in the mirror, he hears the direct result of his actions as Belle is ranting to the wardrobe.  He laments she'll never see him as a human because his actions have pushed her away.

In the remake, it's not the Beast’s idea to give Belle a room, or to invite her to dinner - it is his staff's intervening that puts him in that situation in the first place.  He doesn't even want to get to know her because she's a daughter of a thief, and that's somehow below his current social status of recluse animal/human hybrid.  His staff persuade him to give Belle a chance as they're all invested in breaking the spell because they'll turn into furniture if they don't!  They give him tips to manipulate her into opening the door, he tries it, it fails spectacularly, he gets angry and he leaves - but not before calling his staff idiots...  I appreciate he's not as physically violent in this version, but he just acts like he couldn’t be bothered with Belle.  He does spy on her from the mirror, but she looks bewildered.  He doesn't know if she's lonely, or missing her father, or what...  There's no indication that how he treated her in that moment has pushed her further away.  Then he just stares at the rose like, "Well, shit, this ticking time bomb is still ticking!".  It's completely self-focused.

Oh, and then Mrs. Potts tries to handwave the Beast’s behavior away with, "People say a lot of things in anger.  It is our choice whether or not to listen," which, excuse me, WHAT THE EVERLOVING FUCK DOES THAT MEAN?!  You are in charge of how to interpret someone's actions, and you could just choose to ignore when they are being abusive??  I CAN'T.  She also tries to gaslight Belle into seeing how great the Beast is when Belle has had zero positive interactions with the dude since she's been there.  The wardrobe brings it up in the original, but this is after he's offered Belle a room and invited her to dinner himself, not by his staff...

The west wing scene and the Beast turning into less of a dick:

In the original, the Beast himself tells Belle not to go to the west wing.  Her curiosity brings her there, because she wants to understand more about him and what he is hiding.  She's invading his space knowing full well that she is invading his space.  When she is discovered, she's about to fuck around with something that is literally tied with the Beast's livelihood.  His anger is disproportionate, but justified, and you see that he immediately regrets his reaction after she runs away from him.  That’s why he goes after her.  Belle watches him risk his life to save her even though she broke a promise to him, so she decides to repay the favor by bringing him back.  They fight while she's trying to clean his wound, and they're both right in their perspectives, but the Beast acknowledges that yes, his temper got the best of him - he realized that the moment she bolted.  Belle then rewards his selfless act by thanking him, which sets his entire transformation in motion.  

He gives her the library because he expresses interest in doing something to make her happy, and he vocalizes he's falling in love with her.  He's delighted by her reaction.  During the ballroom scene, the way he looks at her, you can see he absolutely adores her.  He asks, "Are you happy here with me?" because he loves her, and her well-being is the most important thing.

In the remake, the staff tell Belle not to got to the west wing because it's a storage area.  She wanders over there anyway, for whatever fucking reason, and takes a glance at the rose behind the glass.  The Beast finds her looking at it and gets mad at her, even though he never told her not to visit him in the west wing, and she didn't fuck around with the rose.  When she runs away, he doesn't even look like he cares.  There is no reason for him to go after her, and there is no reason for her to help him back to the castle other than the plot told them to do it.  She doesn't help him with his wounds, and the staff are the ones to thank her for returning him.  She even asks the staff why the fuck they care about him, because he's such an asshole.  They justify his behavior because he had a cruel father, and damn themselves to his fate because they didn't stop a literal monarch from raising his son.  Belle continues to take care of him because she pities him?  He repays her kindness by insulting her taste in literature.

He doesn't even show her the library because he knows she likes books, he does it because he wants her to read "better" books.  Then he makes one joke about not reading Greek and THAT IS WHAT MAKES BELLE SWOON.  THE FUCKING GREEK BOOK JOKE.  I mean, I sort of get it, I fell in love with my ex because he made a bread pun, but he hadn't been continually abusive to me up until that point.  Belle starts to read out loud to him, and that's supposed to be the event that incentives the Beast to be better?  Even while Belle is singing about how much he's changed (he hasn't), he throws a boulder of snow in her face. The cherry on top of this sundae is his stoic question after they dance, "It's foolish, I suppose, for a creature like me to hope that one day he might earn your affection?" which not only sounds like complement fishing, it is primarily motivated by breaking the curse!  Only after she gives an indifferent answer does he ask if she'd be happy at the castle.

Oh god, and the death scene is cut off in the middle because we have to watch 2 minutes of the staff members permanently turning into furniture, which, like, I wouldn't think they'd want to castrate the emotional climax of the movie, but this whole thing is an exercise on how to fuck something already good up.

This movie fails so spectacularly at this basic love story, I can't begin to justify its existence.  I wouldn't recommend this to anybody.  If you want to watch new Alan Menkin content, watch Galavant, because this movie just pissed me off.

It was bold of Disney to end it with a beastiality joke, though.

[venenorita]

HE MEGA RP PLOTTING SHEET / MEME.

First and foremost, recall that no one is perfect, we all have witnessed some plotting once which did not went too well, be it because of us or our partner. So here have this, which may help for future plotting. It’s a lot! Yes, but perhaps give your partners some insight? Anyway BOLD what fully applies, italicize if only somewhat.

Mun Name: Mercy      Age: 27      Contact: IM, discord

Character(s) I rp: Bambi, Candice, Giselle, Loly, Tier, Emilou, Nanao, Hiyori, Kuukaku, Yoruichi, Ariugrette Tsetsara (OC), Tatsuki Arisawa, Kobu Merani (OC), Ajora Faengerhol (OC), Medusa Gorgon, Subida Roja (OC), Noriko Tsunayashiro (OC), (I’m gonna stop here for my own sanity @n@) Which muse(s) inspires you the most atm?(for MM): Bambi, Loly, Tier, and probably Noriko.  Current Fandom(s): Bleach presently.  Fandom(s) you have an AU for:  Errr, none really? Not that come to mind at least. My language(s): English Themes I’m interested in for rp:   Fantasy / Science fiction / Horror / Western / Romance / Thriller / Mystery / Dystopia / Adventure / Modern / Erotic / Crime / Mythology / Classic / History / Renaissance / Medieval / Ancient / War / Family / Politics / Religion / School / Adulthood / Childhood / Apocalyptic / Gods / Sport / Music / Science / Fights / Angst / Smut / Drama / etc. Themes/Genres you have an AU for:None Really dedicated to any particular genre or theme. Not that I’d be unwilling to make some. AUs are my jam. 

Preferred Thread length: one-liner / 1 para / 2 para / 3+ / novella. Asks can be send by: Mutuals / Non-Mutuals / Personals / Anons. Can Asks be continued?:   YES / NO   only by Mutuals?:  YES / NO. Preferred thread type: crack / casual nothing too deep / serious / deep as heck. Is realism / research important for you in certain themes?:   YES / Depends / NO. Are you atm open for new plots?:  YES / NO / DEPENDS. Do you handle your draft / ask - count well?:  YES / NO / SOMEWHAT. How long do you usually take to reply?:  24h / 1 week / 2 weeks / 3+ / months / years. I’m okay with interacting: original characters / a relative of my character (an oc) / duplicates / my fandom / crossovers / multi-muses / self-inserts / people with no AU verse for my fandom / canon-divergent portrayals / au-versions (as main or only verse). Do you post more ic or occ?:  IC / OOC. Are you selective with following others?:  YES / NO / DEPENDS.  

Best ways to approach you for rp/plotting:  IM  An IM will usually do the trick since I usually don’t go about giving my Discord in most cases. But yea, literally just send me an IM, preferably with an idea in mind. Alternatively if you’re particularly bold you can send an ask or a meme. 

What expectations do you hold towards your plotting partner:  .  I dunno how to really word this one in particular. I  usually don’t like overplotting, so be open to some flexibility. Frameworking is fine but I don’t wanna script stuff from the getgo. Also please work WITH me? If I’m the one throwing out ideas and all I’m getting is a simple ‘eh’ or ‘no’, or just in general if you’re not helping contribute. Like....I get being anxious but I need something to work with? Suggestions. Recommended alterations to my ideas? There’s nothing more absurd to deal with than someone who agrees to plot with you only to contribute nothing and just shoot stuff down. 

When you notice the plotting is rather one-sided, what do you do?:  I’ll try my best to work with it. Some people aren’t great with cranking out ideas, I get that. Heck sometimes I myself don’t feel like coming up with a lot of stuff. But at some point I’m gonna ask them to put in a little effort if we’re not getting anywhere. 

How do you usually plot with others, do you give input or leave most work towards your partner?: I at the VERY least give input. Ask questions, things like that. I’ll generally come up with a few off the top ideas to try and get things rolling. 

When a partner drops the thread, do you wish to know?:   YES / NO / DEPENDS. - And why?:  I wouldn’t mind a poke, but I know stuff can be complicated. Wether you’re busy, losing muse, or you just don’t know how to progress a scene? I’ve certainly had plenty of threads, enjoyable or otherwise, where I say to myself ‘.....I think this is fine here’. Or ‘I don’t know where I’m supposed to go from here’. So I don’t mind if you kinda let it slip into the night. Though a heads up is always appreciated.  - What should your partner do when dropping a thread?:  Kinda outlined up above. But MOST of all, don’t be AFRAID to let me know. I’ll understand 

What could possibly lead you to drop a thread?:  . Business, fatigue, lack of enthusiasm, not knowing how to progress. Or characters that clearly do not want to interact with my muse icly. I know some people really like playing these sorts of individuals, but like yea...uphill battles of that kind can really take it out of me.  - Will you tell your partner?:   YES / NO / DEPENDS.

Is communication in the rpc important to you?   YES / NO. - And why?:  As much as I don’t really require it, because well, I know people have a lot of followers and such, I do feel like a rapport while not required is definitely very constructive to interaction. And honestly, communication tends to help smooth out drama a bit. Which honestly is one of the only big negatives to this kinda community.  - Are you okay with absolute honesty, even if it may means hearing something negative about you and/or portrayal?: Absolutely! I very much encourage people, off anon (though I understand if they prefer the metaphorical mask), to inform me of something they may not like about me or my muses. Even if it may hurt my feelings, I enjoy being able to address and explain things. Cuz it sure beats the hell out of people making assumptions.  - Do you think you can handle such situation in a mature way?  YES / NO.

Why do you rp again, is there a goal?:   Enjoyment. This is a hobby, and I think some people take this a bit too seriously. I’m here to have fun, explore my muses, and that of those I interact with. Get messy, make mistakes, and for pete’s sake chill. 

Wishlist, be it plots or scenarios:  Nothing comes to mind speeeecifically... Honestly for most of my muses, just having someone who WANTS to interact with them is golden. Though I admit to being a bit of a ship goblin from time to time. 

Themes I won’t ever rp / explore:  Nothing outright disgusting or gratuitous. Torture, psychological trauma, ect is fine. That’s how things roll, and I don’t mind them being part of a scene. What I don’t get into is something that’s there for the sake of it. Am I ok with my character being tortured for information? Absolutely. Will I indulge in a thread that’s just some kind of weird torture porn? No. Don’t let it get out of hand. I won’t judge you because cmon, it’s rp. But I reserve the right to decline being a part of it. 

What Type of Starters do you prefer / dislike, can’t work with?: Anything tbh. The only real awkward starters are like.....really specific shoehorning. Or like, an immediate conflict at my character’s detriment. I get having an unusual introduction. I’ve had people who start with shit like “WHAT ARE YOU DOING BREAKING INTO MY HOUSE?” Like cmon. Number one, even I don’t know why my character would break into your house, so they probably Didn’t. Please do not assume the worst and START things off on a bad foot. 

What type of characters catch your interest the most?:  Multifaceted. Not that I judge anyone for being more ...affixed on a particular aspect of their character. Some people are very keen on getting a certain type of rp. Some people just outright play a character who isn’t really shown to be anything other than one thing. But I enjoy exploration of a personality. And a personality, no mater how dull, stupid, or simple someone is, is NEVER monofaceted. I enjoy a muse that has something to dig for or explore emotionally. 

What type of characters catch your interest the least?:  Asocials. I’ve had some decent rp with them SOMEtimes? But like....there’s nothing more aggravating than trying to interact with a character who wants to be left alone and be isolated. Especially ones that are AGGRESSIVELY against it. Especially since I have to WORK to MAKE my character even want to interact with them. 

What are your strong aspects as rp partner?:  MY.......errr....en...thusiasm? I don’t actually know tbh. My malleability with my muses perhaps? Errr I like thinking about stuff. IF you ask me a question, I will do my best to answer it and explore the realm within that question. I dunno what you would exactly call that though... I am ...headcannony?

What are your weak aspects as rp partner?: I am flaky. Sometimes it’s cuz of real life getting hard. Sometimes it’s because I need a break from tumblr. Sometimes I just poof and forget about tumblr for like a while. But yea. I have a tendency to vanish, it’s something I’m working on but it’s something that happens. 

Do you rp smut?:  YES / NO. Do you prefer to go into detail?:  YES / NO / DEPENDS. Are you okay with black curtain?:  YES / NO. - When do you rp smut? More out of fun or character development?:  It can go either way? Sometimes things develop that way because of specific characters. But I’m not gonna lie, sometimes its just for the heck of it. Sinday and all that.  - Anything you would not want to rp there?:  Interactions with Real life people as a muse. I respect people doing it. If people wanna rp as Miley Cyrus or whatever, more power to them. But leave me out of it, it just makes me uncomfortable. This also applies to a lesser degree with real life face claims? But I’ve learned to kinda make my peace with that one tbh. 

Are ships important to you?:   YES / NO. Would you say your blog is ship-focused?:   YES / NO / Sometimes? Do you use read more?:  YES / NO / SOMETIMES. Are you: Multi-Ship / Single-Ship / Dual-Ship  —  Multiverse / Singleverse. - What do you love to explore the most in your ships?:  The Nuts and bolts. Sure the honeymoon phase is alright. And bunny-rabbiting has it’s fun times. But what I love most about a ship is finding out how they work as a dynamic. What do they argue about? How do they absolve issues? How do their world views mesh?  - What is your smut tag?: nsfw

Are you okay with pre-established relationships?: YES / NO / Depends - And what kind of ones?: I like a good premise. Just a nice kickoff point, ya know? Soemthing to get past that first awkward phase if anything/ 

► SECTION ABOUT YOUR MUSE.

- What could possibly make your Muse interesting towards others, why should they rp with this particular character of yours now, what possible plots do they offer?:  She’s a bitch. But a bitch for a reason? She’s an absolute piece of shit, but a complicated one. She will never EXPRESS appreciation or affection outside of just sexual indulgence. She won’t ever SHOW fluffy affection, or gratefulness to most people. But that doesn’t mean she doesn’t FEEL it. With Loly you will get to see a gal struggle with her own inability to trust or love people, while also trusting and loving people. Also ngl she kinda hot? I guess some people consider that a plus?

- With what type of Muses do you usually struggle to rp with?:   I mentioned it before, but muses who aren’t interested in interacting.  - With what type of Muses do they usually work well with?:  Anyone willing to interact with her! Wether that’s to help her, harm her, or just witness the mental gymnastics this little centipede will go through to keep her mental restrictions intact. 

- What interests your Muse(s) in general:  Power, Indulgence, Being a rotten Bitch, maintaining the survival of Las Noches,  Hot people, Strong People, anything that can benefit her in some way.  - What do they desire, is their goal?:  She wants to be able to escape her fear of her own kind.  - What catches their interest first when meeting someone new?:  Wether or not they are a threat to her survival, if they have something to offer her.  - What do they value in a person?:    Lack of Aggression, Visual Appeal, Power.  - What themes do they like talking about?:  Herself or someone else she is interested in. Her Race. The state of the world.  - Which themes bore them?:  Criticism of her, Anything about Aizen. 

- Did they ever went through something traumatic?:  Aizen’s Betrayal, Grimmjow’s assault on her, Yammy’s attempt to kill her. The Quincy Invasion.  - What could possibly trigger them?:  Grimmjow, Yammy, the subject of Aizen.  - What could set them off, enrage them?:  People trying to kill/maim her arbitrarily.  - What could lead to an instant kill?:  Aggressively trying to kill her, making it clear you have no intention to let her live peacefully again. 

- Is there someone /-thing they hate?:  Aizen. Orihime. Hueco Mundo. Being a Hollow/Arrancar.  - Is there someone /-thing they love?:   Menoly, People that try to help her.  

Is your Muse easy to approach?: YES / NO / Kinda - Best ways to approach them?:  It’s a little complicated. But if you’re persistent enough and you genuinely want a positive interaction with her, she will bitch about it but she will eventually soften up. Especially if she feels no reason to fear you. She absolutely won’t trust you at first and it’ll be an uphill battle, but its doable. 

For Antagonists ehh.....just give her breathing room? Feel free to torment her but like....if you get real incessant about it, or outright try to kill her she will actively avoid you like the plague. And if you corner her she WILL try to kill you, and her venom means that no matter how strong you are, she MIGHT pull it off if you are careless.  - Where are they usually to find?:  Verse dependent, but tbh she could be found just about anywhere. She’s usually in  Las Noches, ut she sneaks off to all kinds of places for some peace and quiet, or just to try and enjoy her generally unpleasant existence. 

Something you may still want to point out about your muse?:  Patience WILL pay off eventually? And she’s not a bitch 24/7. Sometimes she’s too tired/bored to be her usual bitchy self. 

CONGRATS!!! You managed it, now tag your mutuals! ♥

Tagged by:  Stolen from @pacifv Tagging:  WOOF, this is a REALLY long one lol. So uhhh anyone who WANTS to do it? 

[monkey-network]

Good Stuff's Best of 2019

WARNING: Just wanted to say cheers to you for making it through another year. I send you best wishes for next year to be fruitful. Thank you, take care out there, and enjoy. (Best of 2017) (Best of 2018)

Dedicated to Russi Taylor, John Witherspoon, Rip Torn, Tartar Sauce, Caroll Spinney, Peter Matthews, and the many of KyoAni lost in the arson incident. You all did wonderful; rest in peace.

Welp, I figured the last year of this decade would be the most chaotic one by far, then again everything peak after 2012. As for now, I am counting down the best cartoons/animations/comics I’ve seen and loved this year in no particular order other than #1. Same rules apply: No sneak previews of future projects, no repeats, and this time anything goes.

Runner Ups: Superman Smashes the Klan, Marvel’s Aero, Infinity Train, Enter the Florpus, Amphibia, Mao Mao: Heroes of Pure Heart, Helluva Boss, Meta Runner, Lego Movie 2, Forky Asks a Question

Anyways, Badda boom bang whiz, let’s do this shizz...

10. Super Mario Bros GT

Nostalgia can be quite a mystery, especially one that can come out of nowhere. Super Mario Bros Z kicked so much ass as a kid that now, it still frustrates me to this that it got a cease & desist from Nintendo, even the reboot from the same person couldn’t last long. But the gods have offered a slight miracle in the form of this new spiritual successor that has heart and soul put into every pixelated frame. There is much to celebrate with Youtube animation, where many say it’s dying due to the algorithm and all of the site’s corporate bullshit, but it’s stuff like this which helps me understand why we should celebrate. Against all odds, channels like Smasher Block willfully put their works out their for the people and continues to because on top of getting a little dough, it’s what they want to do.

9. DC SUPER HERO GIRLS (2019)

Awwwwww yeah, this is She-Ra and the Princesses of Power done right. Diverse female squad, each given a quality screen time to truly shine (Beecher especially) on their which makes the episodes where they’re all together feel earned and joyous to watch. Certainly reminds me of Friendship is Magic, which is coincidental since they were created by the same woman. I’d like to think this and MLP G4 were the answers to Faust’s cancelled project Milky Way and the Galaxy Girls where multiple personalities collide to one extraordinary superhero team of girls capable great feats that are lifted from their insecurities or drawbacks. And on top of this being a fun series to kick back to all around, it’s a comforting, somewhat aspiring thought to consider.

8. JOKER

I am somebody that rarely goes to the theaters to watch a film; you have to hook my tight just for me to even think of buying a ticket, no less plan to. But honestly, Joker was worth the hype, the ticket, and the fact that it wasn’t the incel uprising that buttfuck normies tried to make it out as. It’s lower on the list because in thought, there definitely could’ve been some tweaks to the dialogue and a couple scenes that I felt didn’t work in the long run. But really, this movie to me worked because of the escalation that leads to a cathartic climax and ending that left me in actual tears. I don’t give a shit if it “doesn’t fit”, having Frank Sinatra sing the film's credits put me in shambles. Joaquin Phoenix was phenomenal as Arthur, and this movie felt authentic in its many details. This is definitely up there with my favorite comic book films of all time. Good thing, too, Spider-Man was taking up most of that shelf.

7. TUCA & BERTIE

This series being what I can’t help but say is a spin-off to Bojack Horseman, a show I respect, was enough to pull me into watching it. But it being like Bojack where it’s tight-roping between a bouncy comedy and a grounded drama was what kept me around for more. It is a damn shame this was cancelled after one season (while 13 Reasons Why gets FOUR seasons like what the fuck), because while this did feel enough like a complete series, I was certainly interested for more because I really enjoyed it all. I have my issue with a couple choices in the show, but I am sure this series would’ve addressed them later down the line. I can see why some women would find this personally endearing, it felt like the personal stories of actual people, and it deserved better. Either way, I enjoyed this series and I recommend it just as much as Bojack.

6. PRIMAL

Genndy Tartakovsky is that kind of cartoon creator where you feel he’ll go beyond if you give him the right amount of space. He’s not a perfectionist like John “Dirty Diddler” Kricfalusi, but with things like Hotel Transylvania and Samurai Jack, he certainly has proven to have the range in animation where you know how he plays. Primal showcasing his noted skill in dialogue-less storytelling and dynamic action scenes, able to convey everything clear with its ruthless yet careful protagonist and his dinosaur friend, all on top of the most luscious backgrounds. This is a series that definitely feels like Genndy’s taken what he’s used from his previous works and putting it together for a brutal yet passionate look at the prehistoric life. He truly brought us an adult series to enjoy and to look forward to more in the coming year.

5. SPINEL

Bet you didn’t expect a character to be on this list, eh? Spinel is the best thing to come out of Steven Universe in general; makes me wish she was in a better movie. The crew certainly did their darndest to make her not only an enjoyable and connectable character through and through, but a very versatile character that the fandom could take in any which way. Call it corny, but Spinel perfectly represents SU as a whole: a lovable goof that can certainly mean business but deep down is deserved of a hug because of what she’s gone through. Wish she had a more satisfying resolution in her respective debut, but really it’s the balance between those three elements mentioned that makes Spinel almost eternally wonderful.

4. MOB PSYCHO 100 II

As someone that doesn’t like reading, I’m a firm believer that the best animations or visual medias elevate the writing to a memorable degree; the visuals hook to the point where you want to think about what you saw and how it was conveyed. Mob Psycho 100, for two seasons now, does this in spades where Studio Bones throw them bones in animating one of the most dynamic animes of the modern era, providing the writing and characters a proper chance to flex its muscles. The characters are especially what makes this and MP100 as a whole work so well, the story being about a boy learning to be more sociable as well as emotionally stronger all while helping others understand maturity and empathy. For more on this, I recommend Hiding in Public’s video(s) on Mob. But with the animation, Bones was able to provide a sense of impact and immersion to the moments that matter, not making it an overstimulating mess, and putting some respect on ONE’s webcomic art style. 

3. KLAUS

Hands down, this is a great Christmas movie. Take away the animation and you have a charming, wanna say ground and authentic, story about the makings of Santa Claus. With memorable and likable characters, a nice escalation in terms of the plot, and moments that are/can be so satisfying, they can bring you to tears. A couple overdone tropes in the road that doesn’t make this the most perfected story, but those sincerely minor compared to everything else that makes this story the best. Now. Add in the animation, and you have a gold, nay a platinum animated story of the year where the visuals definitely enhance the story to a degree where they’re undoubtedly inseparable. The visuals alone is enough to check this movie out and it’s eye-opening when you learn of how it’s all done. Klaus is a film that did it’s job and then some, and I hope this will be well remembered as a classic holiday film for it deserves that status.

2. BEASTARS

I’ll be fair, I’m mostly referring to the manga and not the anime but since the anime premiered this fall, it counts. Because be it the anime or the series overall, Beastars has such well intricate world building all while offering a little something for everyone (violence, romance, slice of life). The story is well paced and even when we aren’t focusing on the main characters momentarily, Itagaki is surprisingly able to make every supporting/side character we come across memorable in their own way; like I said before, the city is much a character in this story. Oh yeah, and the mangaka is the daughter of Keisuke “Grappler Baki” Itagaki, that in itself is a treasuring bit of trivia for this. Everything about Beastars is enticing and Studio Orange certainly helped in giving this series more of a following.

1. GREEN EGGS & HAM

Well, well, well. Guess Netflix is three for three in terms of bringing its best foot forward among its few steps back each year. The best term to describe this series is surprising. Surprising that this is a Dr. Seuss story that got expanded a 13 episode series, that has fleshed out characters, fun hijinks, an easy story, lovely emotional, more quieter moments... on top of being 2D hand drawn animated. I mean, what else is there to say? Green Eggs and Ham is to Dr. Seuss what Seven was for Final Fantasy, what Friendship is Magic was for MLP, what watermelon was before a nice menthol cigarette. This definitely took the top spot because to me, it was able to bring many good elements from the previous entries and knot it all together into a well kept bow that I never knew I wanted until now. I’m genuinely glad this show got to exist the way it is and I am hoping, praying, that the second season keeps that momentum up.

That leads us to the actual number one which is

1. STEVEN UNIVERSE FUT-

Total Dramarama is now the two time World Heavyweight Champion, babey. Will 2020 give us a quality contender? Will the streak last another year?

Stay tuned, and always seek out the Good Stuff.

[sp4c3-0ddity]

cliche “what I would do differently in season 8″ post

Warning:  contains plance and some kallura bias

Disclaimer:  my memory on the season (especially some details and the order of certain events) is already rather hazy, and this is more focused on characters and relationships than on plot, with which i was mostly pleased (and it’s probably crap besides)

all right here we go:

first of all when Hunk gives Lance the run-down of the Voltron tv show and mentions that it hints at romance between Keith and Allura, Lance doesn’t react except to maybe look uncomfortable. Hunk is surprised he doesn’t have anything else to say about it and wonders why he’s unusually subdued, and Lance admits Veronica (not Hunk, who’s more aware of the dynamics within the team) is encouraging him to ask Allura out. Hunk wonders what’s stopping him and Lance, still a little cagey about it, says he doesn’t know but decides he’s gonna...so he does and Allura accepts reluctantly with Romelle’s encouragement as portrayed

Pidge still agrees to go shopping with Allura but when it comes to bartering for the dress the Unilu fixates on her glasses as a “Voltron collectible”. she’s reluctant for a good second before admitting she never needed them anyway (implied they were an emotional crutch while her family was missing more than anything else) and handing them over

Coran still puts Lance through his paces but in a less humorous and more uncomfortable fashion that implies he might be a little out of his depth

after the mall Pidge, not wanting to return to her “imprisonment” on the eve of leaving Earth again, goes off to watch the sunset. Lance finds her, and at first she’s a little stiff until he teases her about her “appreciation” for something so mundane (to her). Pidge muses it’s not so mundane if it could be the last time she ever sees it, then wonders what he’s doing with her when he should be getting ready for his date, but before he answers Keith interrupts. Pidge takes the opportunity to leave (she’s still grounded and Romelle and/or Rizavi have probably suffered for covering for her). Lance properly apologizes to Keith for his antagonism

the date isn’t awkward, Lance’s family still likes Allura and she appreciates their warmth, but something is still wrong and, when they’re off alone. Allura looks like she’s on the brink of saying something (after the tree healing incident) when Lance confesses he’d liked her for a long time and had a good time with her that night but that he realizes they’re better as friends. Allura breathes a sigh of relief that she didn’t have to break his heart because she agrees and doesn’t really have time to dabble in a romance anyway and they share an amiable hug

Krolia (because i missed her) is in “Battle Scars” and makes the realization that they’re dealing with Ranveig’s monster and communicates a warning seconds before Keith does

in the Olkarion episode Pidge’s grief bonds her more strongly to the Green Lion, which is how she connects with the planet enough to view its last moments. Lance and Hunk show a bit more concern for her and both comfort her (Allura’s still with her most of the time and insists she’ll be safe with her when they go with Keith to deter the weblum). also the Olkari refugees contact the Coalition after the fact and Pidge (and the Holts) greets them and they all mourn Ryner and the rest that didn’t survive their planet’s destruction. Pidge carries the anger with her for most of the rest of the season (so she now has another personal stake in seeing Honerva defeated)

the team splits as Lance/Pidge and Allura/Hunk. Ezor is actually dead and Acxa made the whole thing up to get Zethrid to surrender, but the Olkari guy does repent after Pidge and Keith “chat” with him about his choices (i.e. survivor’s guilt when he learns Olkarion was destroyed) so he still saves the ATLAS’ crew’s butts later

Honerva doesn’t drain the Guardian but rather takes it hostage to siphon off its quintessence. she still retrieves Lotor’s body and Sincline and they’re still on the verge of slicing the Red Lion (i.e. Lance) - made more meaningful since they’re explicitly friends and not romantically entangled - when Allura’s about to spear Honerva

rather than Lance, Keith gives Allura reassurance (and there’s no “romantic” mush but Kinkade still rebukes Rizavi for spying on a private conversation). also Krolia is interviewed alongside Kolivan, ostensibly to remind him of things he might’ve forgotten. she’s also shown reacting to Coran’s...excessiveness; there’s a brief glimpse of Pidge and Lance playing the new game while Rizavi observes they’re at it again and wonders if they’ll let her play seeing as she helped Pidge procure it, right in time for Hunk to interrupt and ask if they’ll taste something for him

Allura says that, after some rest, she’ll remove the “entities” from the other Altean colonists (she never does because...the one she removed from Tova ends up in her). all of them (especially Coran) are reluctant to leave her for the Clear Day carnival but she insists they go (Keith maybe gives her one last look before agreeing). alongside Lotor she hallucinates versions of Keith (who says he senses no hostile intent from it and that Lotor did have good intentions so maybe she should trust him), Shiro (who reminds her that he once had a direct link to Haggar’s mind, but if she knows about it she can use it to her advantage), and Coran (who tells her she’d be honoring her father’s memory experimenting with something he once did) in turn. Allura, despite her skepticism because she knows this isn’t real, sees no recourse and promises them that she’ll give it up as soon as they no longer need it

meanwhile at the carnival Hunk and Keith still get stuck on the ride (it was a Highlight). callback to “Space Mall”, Lance and Pidge go off together. when she doesn’t get enough tickets to earn the “best” prize, Lance cheers her up by challenging her to a pricey and rigged carnival game that he almost wins...which is when Pidge suffers the family portrait for more tokens. they retry, Lance wins and relinquishes his prize to Pidge, who may or may not blush only to observe he might be a good sharpshooter after all

(Pidge and Hunk both question how Shiro won at arm-wrestling without an elbow)

Coran is the most adamant about Allura not using the entity, though the others are still doubtful. Keith confronts her properly about it after the meeting, but Allura shuts his protests down by saying they need to defeat Honerva even at the cost of one of their lives (possibly alludes to his near-sacrifice at Naxzela)

Lance has a “wtf” moment when his bayard turns into the sword. he and Alfor only talk briefly about his appreciation for Allura before telling him he really should train in using that thing

Alfor to Allura about Keith:  why is the red one in the Black Lion??

(possibly he also comments on his quintessence-sense...because someone should)

Trigel lowkey chides Pidge for neglecting her connections with people outside her family while also commenting on her kinda adoption of the Olkari

when Alfor is incredulous about Allura’s use of the entity (even Zarkon reminds her of the damage it caused) she insists it was the only way (Keith, internally:  i told her so); the Paladins, horrified, stop her from tormenting a younger Zarkon with the memories of what his older/possessed self did, and she has a moment where she’s incredulous about what she’s doing/what she’s become; she promises that she’ll happily destroy the entity once they reach the end of the line

Allura admits to Coran that she saw her father while in Honerva’s mindscape. Coran begs her one last time to release the entity only for her to admit she’ll need someone else’s help

and when she’s recovering (when was that in the season?? can’t remember) everyone visits her, but it’s Lance reassuring Keith that Allura will be all right rather than the other way around...and he admits to remembering the “bonding moment”, Keith is like i knew it and rubs it in Lance’s face while still seeming troubled

Pidge still assists Slav and Sam but Trigel’s (and Slav’s hehe) reprimand sort of sticks with her and before they do battle she tells her teammates how much they all mean to her (maybe prefaces it with “i’m not good with people but you guys taught me how to be better”). there’s a group hug, but Lance lingers and they hug properly while she tells him that he’ll do great and he says that he knows (and he means it)

Battle proceeds. Maybe a little trimmed down so Lance, at some point, can “properly” bond with the Red Lion

Allura shows Honerva her work and tells her they can fix it if only she releases the Guardian. Honerva agrees, but it’s not enough and Allura reluctantly admits a life must be given too (and that the entity must be destroyed), at which point her teammates (Keith’s loudest, again bringing up his near-sacrifice at Naxzela as the wrong answer) protest...and Honerva offers something, that she started this and that she’ll finish it too and that Allura should live the life she never got to. she even uses the last of her power to take back the entity

“one year later”, Allura is shown mourning the person Honerva (and Zarkon) was by erecting a memorial to Alfor and to the Alteans that perished when Zarkon destroyed the planet and when Lotor harvested the colonists’ quintessence. she mentions to a few former colonists that they should never forget the mistakes of the past but learn from them, and she’s shown with Romelle and Coran, who begins briefing her on what Keith’s been up to with the Galra...

Pidge is with Matt, finishing up Chip (eh might as well keep it). he teases her about being late to her “date”, but Pidge insists it’s not a date (because all her other ex-teammates will be there)

the seven of them reminisce

Pidge works with her family but she’s also an ambassador spreading science ideas around the universe. Lance is an instructor at the Garrison (he basically has Iverson’s old job probably), and they’re implied to be happily in a relationship. Keith’s fate is pretty much the same but it’s mentioned he gets inspiration from Allura and her memories of old Altea. ditto Hunk

the show ends with Allura’s coronation as queen rather than Shiro’s wedding (though it can be implied he, attending wearing his black Garrison uniform, met Someone at the celebration afterward), and the Lions flying their separate ways, ostensibly to return when the universe needs Voltron again

[algernoninwonderland]

Miraculous, the Monster of the Week Format and the Status Quo, or Why Things Barely Change At All

TLDR; while the monster-of-the-week format doesn’t mean there is no overarching plot in Miraculous, these monsters are variable in terms of quality and the overarching plot itself is not something the show explores. 

The fact that you can watch 80% of the show in any order without feeling lost is quite telling: the goal is to have self-contained stories during the space of one episode, not to have things that happened in such and such episode have consequences in the following ones. Which is frustrating in the long run, even more so when the monster-of-the-week format doesn’t mean that episodes are aired weekly. 

It isn’t that the people working on Miraculous aren’t talented enough to write something good, simply that the format they have to work with makes the story what it is.

Now, if you want to read something a little more detailed, just click the thingy!

With now 64 episodes aired, it’s safe to say that Miraculous is a show that is meant to stay on our screens for quite some time. For exactly five seasons, so far. Yay! Or perhaps not?

With its reused villains (when you’ve got 2.0 in your title, that screams Electric Boogaloo, I’m sorry), its apparent lack of character development and little focus on the overarching plot (if there is any, at this point), it sounds like this is pretty much stretched out. 

The show has two focuses, so to say, our two cinnamon buns and their love story, and superhero stuffs with different villains in each episode (and that guy alone in his lair, and sometimes that woman with the fan but eeeeh, don’t sweat it, besides they’re interchangeable so far)

What do I mean by Monster-of-the-week format?

Exactly what the title says. For each week/episode, one villain. Who is defeated at the end of the week. Yay! The prime example of this is the original Scooby Doo cartoons, Scooby Doo, Where Are You!

Now, what do we think of that show? Other than the laugh tracks, it holds up well enough. More importantly, though, every story is self-contained, and the appeal of the Scooby Doo is its mysteries. We don’t care about Velma’s backstory, or how Fred became the leader, these characters have very little depth and that’s OK, their interactions is not the main point of the story.

Scooby Doo has a very simple formula: 

The gang goes somewhere, finds mystery, chase one, traps, chase two with a bubblegum pop soundtrack this time, then the mystery is solved, very basically. And we can move on to the next mystery

You can air any episode in any order, you can get the story without feeling lost.

And for most Miraculous episodes, it is true as well! They follow roughly the same recipe:

Something something civilian life, Hawk Moth akumatises someone, Superhero Time, Lucky Charm, Status Quo again.

The first episodes that aired never explained how Marinette got her Miraculous and… It didn’t seem to matter all that much?

But there’s a problem here. MLB isn’t just about Superhero Thingies™. We’ve got that Love Tesseract™ thing too. And a love story requires a progression and character growth to work. 

You can’t have a monster-of-the-week format if you try to explore things that are character-driven, unless there is a clear follow up, an overarching plot.

Like, say…

Revolutionary Girl Utena.

Utena is one of my favourite shows of all time, and I’m talking live action and animated. It is stylish, the writing is great, the direction work is awesome. It’s a masterpiece and for a show aired in 1997, it aged pretty well in the way it handles it themes. (some of the animation is wonky, though, characters are definitely not always on model, it’s not perfect but hey, 1997)

You should watch Utena. It’s available on Nozomi if you’re from Americaland, otherwise I’m sure you’ll find a way to stream it somewhere. Or buy the BluRay.

So, Utena has a “Duel of the Week” format, it follows a clear formula. And just like Miraculous, it recycles animation and some sentences are said at least once or twice per episode. Hell, Miraculous references Utena quite a few times (but I’ll make a post just for that).

Having a repetitive formula does not mean you cannot have a sense of progression. And Utena shines because of that. Things… Things have consequences, a duel leads to another because of reasons that become clear. It’s not a “we need that many episodes” thing, everything is needed, you cannot not watch an episode, even the recap ones, even the Nanami ones, especially the Nanami ones (Nanami who is a much better Chloé than Chloé is).

Unlike Miraculous, Utena has an overarching plot, you can’t play the episodes in any order. Repetitions and variations are meaningful in Utena, it is not simply a matter of style, or rather, style in Utena is meaningful, not only there for “the show”, a spectacle which in itself is meaningful too. Hell, everything in Utena is meaningful. Meaningful. Could you imagine that much meaning in Miraculous? Me neither.

But, you may say, you’re not fair; you’re comparing Miraculous, a show aimed at schoolchildren, with Utena, an anime aimed at an older audience.

And you wouldn’t be entirely wrong if you thought so. Which is why I’ll reiterate my point with a show for which Thomas Astruc himself worked.

Code Lyoko

Code Lyoko is super formulaic, replace Hawk Moth with XANA and superpowers with going inside a computer and that’s about it. It recycles a lot of its animation, the character design is… A bold choice. I barely watched it when I was younger though it was a pretty big thing for us Frenchies  (but hey it’s available on YouTube now in French so I binged the entire thing in a few days and while it’s not groundbreaking, it does some things really well)

Code Lyoko is all that, repetitions, terribly formulaic, XANA-tised person/plushie of the week thing with towers to deactivate and whatnot, and a “return to the past” to erase whatever has occurred during the episode. Literally. 

But. 

Once again, a visible overarching plot, and can you believe it, things have consequences. William is lost on Lyoko, and the kids spend episodes looking for him. There’s romance, and though it is dealt with clumsily, there’s a sense of progression to it. Things… Happen… With… Consequences.

Miraculous is, for the most part, an inconsequential show

Yeah, the problem with Miraculous is that its overarching plot is muddy and flimsy, the status quo is very much that, I’d argue that it’s a show in which nothing truly happens because nothing has consequences. I mean… Nino and Alya are dating, I guess? Adrien… Is still allergic to pigeon feathers? There are sometimes more than just two heroes? But it doesn’t really matter.

And Oblivio is the perfect example of that.

That’s the message of the episode. Even if we forget things, it still works, there is no need for memory, for remembering what has happened in all the previous episodes because we still make it work somehow. What happened before this episode does not matter to the story we are telling now.

The show keeps telling the same things about its characters, over and over, and whenever something new is introduced… Well it’s great but don’t expect to see it in the episodes after that one.

Which is why specials, story arcs which last two episodes, are good. There is room for developed character moments, interesting interactions, plot, sometimes good fights too. Chloé shines in Queen’s Battle, “Origins” is, for me, probably the best bunch of episodes in the entire show so far because things happen and we can see change happening. Like, actual change. Characters who learn how to do stuff, whose interactions with one another changes over the course of these two episodes. 

Outside of this however… Here, have that very important book, we’ll see it in one or two episodes because we need a macguffin and voilà. Here, have new heroes, but don’t expect to see them after that episode, unless we need a real showdown. 

It’s hard to get hyped by Jeremy Zag’s posts, because no matter how cool Dragon!Kagami looks, because of that format of self-contained stories with the only connection being them being the same static characters. Kagami with a Kwami? Eh. It’ll be a one-off thing, sure it’ll be cool but to make the plot move on… Don’t sweat it. 

Speaking of Kagami, she is presented the exact same way in Frozer and Selfinsertepisode Animaestro, nothing has changed about the character, don’t worry, she’s still going to be used the exact same way, perhaps we’ll show once again that she really cares for Adrien but hey, we already knew that, there’s nothing new in Onichan. And that is symptomatic of the entire cast.

Is that format something the creators of the show absolutely wanted? Is near-stagnation what they wished for? Let’s decide it’s not their choice, and that they try their best with the limitations they have.

Would these flaws be this glaring if new episodes were aired weekly? Like, say, air three episodes during three weeks, a break and then some new episodes again? I think not. The wait and the lack of follow-up from one episode to the next makes them really noticeable, and watching them feels unfulfilling.

So that airing schedule I just suggested? That’s not how things work, that’s not how television works apparently and there’s nothing the people who work on Miraculous can ask about it. Thomas Astruc doesn’t know when the episodes will air, blah blah blah. Television networks not really caring about the shows they air? Never heard of that before, huh. SU

So I guess this is it, then. I hope you enjoyed this overlong post!

(shameful self-promotion moment, but about Kagami, I wrote a Kagaminette/Marigami fic, it’s 80,000 words so far and I update it on Mondays so give it a look if you want! It’s here.)

[violet-bookmark]

The devil between us, by S.C Wilson

Remember the book I was reading during the train ride and that made me finish RAR? This was it. I bought it for the same reasons as La bastarda: saw it somewhere, synopsis looked great, read the free sample of the prologue and immediately wanted it because the plot looked promising and the writing style was beautiful and captivating yet simple. A lot of people, straight people included, seemed to love it: it was one of Amazon's #1st best sellers of 2018! What could possibly go wrong?

A lot, as the first chapter showed me.

Massive trigger warnings for rape and murder. If these are things that affect you, please be cautious when reading this book, or just skip chapter five completely. I am not triggered by these things and even I had a panic attack while reading because it was fucking horrifying.

This book starts in the year 1853, during the Californian Golden Rush. It tells the story of Jessica Pratt, a young girl who lives with her lovely family near Mount Perish. This life does not last long for her, as her family is all horribly murdered during the first chapter. She manages to escape, and after being found by a mysterious woman who lives by herself in the mountains, she begins to live with her in the wilderness. After a decade, circumstances force her to leave the mountain and to seek civilization again, concretely on the town of Ely. Since it is dangerous for a young woman to travel alone, she disguises herself as Jesse, a young man who ends up catching the eye of the town's sweetheart and singer, Abby.

The writing style was amazing; very evocative yet simple, not falling into the mistake of being too convoluted. It striked the balance between descriptive, beautiful and natural perfectly, letting the story flow at a very easy pace and trapping the reader between its pages in no time. Despite its bleak beginning I found myself reading it eagerly and not even realising how far down the story I was. I had no problem imagining the scenery, and the action was described in a very cinematic way, easy to visualize. The setting is also well done and cohesive, but I can't talk much about the realistic side of things since I am not very familiar with that time period. It was definitely detailed enough to feel like the author cared about realism.

The plot was good: I was surprised by how romantic it was, as I expected something more like "the protagonist tracks down the men who killed her family and takes her revenge, getting a girlfriend in the process", or at least something far more thriller-like, since the prologue is about the protagonist about to die from a bullet wound. Instead, the story had much less action and was more focused on Jessica/Jesse as a character and her growth as a person, her fear of her true sex being found out, her budding romantic relationship with Abby and her maternal relationship with Frieda. This disappointed me a little because I expected something else from the plot, but I also didn't like it because Jessica/Jesse's character development was not as well done as it could have been.

Let's start by her character development: her sadness felt unrealistic. She just lost her family, she had nightmares about her parents being murderer and her sister being raped, but it was all very linear before the ending. She never felt rage, or frustration, or any type of "bad" emotion outside of fear and sadness. Her trauma doesn't evolve, and I don't believe that. As a child she saw her dad and brothers die, her sister being raped and her house burning down with her mother and her sister inside. This is huge. This is no normal loss; her family was humiliated and murdered in front of her. These events should have traumatized her for life and left her with a lot of complex emotions to deal with. The way her feelings were described, you would think that she lost her parents to an illness, or perhaps to an accident, which is traumatic but at least you know they were not unnecessarily and horribly tortured before they died. I would have expected her to feel some type of anger or denial at the circumstances more often. You just don't get the feeling it impacted her character as much as it should during the book, and when everything explodes during the ending it does feel forced.

Before starting to rant again, I will give kudos where it's due: I deeply appreciated that the author acknowledged that in order to pass as a man it is necessary to have a deep voice and "manly" mannerisms. A lot of authors only make their women dress as men and bam, instant disguise. It doesn't work like that at all and for once it was very nice to read about a character putting effort in practicing the social cues that people associate with the opposite sex, that was very well done. That being said, it frustrated me how inacurate the book was in regards to chest binding. I know this book is not supposed to be "How to pass as a man 101", but since the story is about a woman who wants to disguise herself as one you should take realism into account, especially in regards to something as dangerous as chest binding. When the protagonist bandages her chest it is not hard at all for her, which is complete bullshit. Anyone that has ever tried to bandage their chest can attest to the fact that it can be quite difficult to get it right the first time. She also leaves it bandaged for several hours without feeling any pain, nor any discomfort, or having any difficulty breathing; she sleeps wearing it, performs physically exhausting tasks wearing it, goes on long walks and horse-rides wearing it with no effects whatsoever. At this point I was like "damn, this woman's ribcage and lungs are made of steel or what?". Very unrealistic, 0/10.

As for Jessica/Jesse's reaction to having to disguise herself as a man... It was badly done. The author didn't stop hitting us in the head with "she is wearing pants, but she REALLY wants to wear pretty dresses! Pants and shirts make her uncomfortable and she hates them! She is a feminine woman!" And at first I was like "eh, I thought she wore animal hides during that decade in the mountain? The last time she wore a dress was like... 10 years ago, when she was 10 years old? She didn't care before and she cares now? What? Oh well, I guess the animal hides were shaped like dresses, which doesn't seem very practical but hey, at least it makes sense". But then in a scene where she is talking to Abby about the mountain, she is like "Oh yes, you can't wear dresses or skirts in the mountain, you have to wear practical clothing like pants" and I was like ??? You have been moaning to hell and back about how you miss dresses, and now you say that you have to wear practical clothing in the mountain? So then your animal hides were not shaped like dresses? So then what you wear at Ely is really not that different to what you have been wearing during 10 damn years at Mount Perish? What are you so hard-pressed about, exactly??? There is a difference in a character just wanting to wear dresses and... This.

If she should have had to disguise herself as a man immediately after she had been wearing dresses all her life and taught that skirts are the proper thing for women to wear, I would understand her anxiety. But if she has been wearing pants during 10 years out of her own volition, why does she suddenly care the moment she goes down to the city? Especially when at times she says that she does not understand the women in Ely? It was confusing. Maybe the author had an intent there that I am not able to see, but she did not transmit it very well through her writing, in all honesty.

And then, towards the end, Jesse sees that Abby is worried about wearing pants and out of the blue she is all like "don't worry, they are just clothes." I just... What?

I did like some things about Jesse: she was a good person, she liked to travel, she was a good hunter, she helped a prostitute when she had the chance and was generally nice to everybody, but was not afraid to fight if somebody mistreated her or Abby. Overall she was not a bad protagonist, but she did not feel cohesive. Her development felt forced and not very organic.

Moving on to the romance: I disliked the scene where Abby was introduced. It was promising at first, because this author is very good at writing impactful scenes and introducing characters, and I thought that I was in for a really great moment. But then, as we are being told about the reactions that Abby awakes in all the men in the crowd, the narrator starts to describe Jesse's. And she is feeling, guess what: jealous and insecure. She is not even awestruck, or feeling even a hint of attraction to her, or feeling something that she can't determine (which we all know what would have been). But instead she wants to get dolled up like her and be as pretty as her, and she looks at her reflection with insecurity to check herself out in comparison to Abby. That is all that the author describes to us; no hint of any possible romance. If I had not known that Abby is supposed to be the love interest beforehand, I wouldn't have known from that scene. Then some moments after Abby approaches Jesse, and she notes that "he" looks at her like "a kid caught with his hand stuck in the candy jar". But then again she thinks that Jesse is a man, and it would be easy to misinterpret any other feeling that Jesse might be feeling as attraction. We certainly don't have any indicators from Jesse that point to her being attracted to the other woman. Abby's own attraction, while well described, relies on perceiving Jesse as male. This has to be the most "no homo" romantic introduction of a lesbian love interest that I have ever read.

Don't get me wrong, the romance gets better, but their first scene together didn't have any chemistry whatsoever. After that, however, their scenes together are way better written and heartwarming. Only thing I didn't like was the fact that Jesse reveals her sex way later than I expected, which made everything worse because their relationship was built on that lie. I really disliked that and I wish Abby would have found out way, way sooner.

I liked Abby more than Jesse: her character felt more coherent, she was a brave woman surviving in a harsh world, and always there to support her friends. I also found realistic that she tried to move on after Jesse had been rejecting her advances for a long time, because honestly, life is short. At first I thought she was bisexual but the story leaves it quite ambiguous; she has been with men before but wherether it was out of love/attraction or not is not clear. I loved that one of the things that made her be attracted to Jesse was the scent, which she described as being sweeter than a man's. I empathized with that, because one of the first things that made me realize I was not attracted to men, apart from the anatomical aspects, was the fact that I don't like how they smell. I am not being rude and saying that men don't wash, it is not about that; men and women smell differently per se. Men's smell does not attract me; women's smell does.

I also liked Frieda, she was a great mother figure and the relationship between her and Jessica was very beautiful and emotional. She cared for her as if she was her own daughter and made sure that she could survive in that harsh world by herself.

Which brings me to the appearance of native americans in the story: I disliked how they only appeared when the white characters needed some spiritual or physical healing. They felt like walking Deus Ex Machina instead of characters. Even the background characters from Ely felt more three-dimensional than them. I also think the book may have showed the conflict between white people and native americans through rose-tinted glasses; not in the sense of it being something to romanticize, but in the sense of painting both sides as having suffered equally, which obviously was not true.

From the prologue I imagined that this book would be bold, realistic and harsh. And it certainly was at the beginning (way more than what I would have expected) but then it just toned down and didn't live up to the expectations I had for it. The book spends so much time reminding us that Jesse is a woman (as if we would forget), that she wants to be feminine and that she is afraid to be discovered that does not develop other potential plot points that would be way more interesting, in my opinion. There is no real tension to her being discovered out, really: no character suspects anything, her ribs and lungs of steel prevent her from having any real need to remove her bandages and the only moments where characters ask her things that could potentially expose her true sex, she just refuses and they go like "Oh, alright. Tell us if you change your mind okay bye!" So there was no tension at all. It was just so easy for her to pass as a man that I didn't understand why the author insisted so much on emphasizing how afraid Jesse was of being found out. Instead of hitting me over the head with it, make me feel afraid she will be discovered! Create tension! I know you can, S.C Wilson, because you had me at the edge of the seat during the first part of the book!

During the Pratt's family manslaughter, the author was amazing at making us feel as miserable, traumatized, empty and defeated as the characters were feeling, and created a powerful scene that was very hard to read but that had a lot of merit in terms of moving the reader, all without being too graphic to the point of being distasteful. I would have expected this to extend to the rest of the book, but it was not the case; the rest of the story made me feel things, but it fell flat during the moments that mattered.

By the ending things pick up again: the plot gets back on track and the book grabs you again, making you feel the same trepidation that it made you feel at the beginning. I was grateful for that but everything was kind of rushed. Things would have felt more natural if, instead of so many romantic moments, the author had left the climax some time to build up during the middle of the story. The resolution also felt very rushed.

I think I may have bashed the romance and plot too hard; the author has obviously worked hard to write this book, it does have a good plot and the writing style is excellent, as are a lot of details from hunting, history, etc. Research was obviously done, something that a lot of authors don't do, even famous ones. But it just didn't do it for me. I expected more. I would not discourage anyone from giving it a read, but some moments are so cringey that I would not recommend it too much, either.

I recommend this book if you like stories set during the Golden Rush, with harsh conflicts, characters that are attracted to women and beautiful descriptions of american landscapes. I don't recommend it if you are searching for an exciting story, gnc characters or romances that you can ship (lying about one's sex is a deal-breaker for ships, imo).

[curestardust]

if you want: wholesome stories / great comedy / slice-of-life

Hinamatsuri was a last minute addition to my Spring watchlist (yes, I’m STILL watching Spring Season anime) and I almost dropped it based on the first episode. But I’m very glad that I didn’t because it turned out to be a very fun and wholesome experience.

Let me explain. The first episode starts out with Hina appearing at Nitta’s house. She has psychic superpowers. Nitta gets sent on a suicide mission cause he is part of the yakuza and Hina helps him out with her powers. We get some backstory on the place Hina came from and how they used her to order her (possibly) to kill people and such. There’s some minimal comedy as well but it’s not very prevalent. This episode is one of the worst pilot episodes I’ve ever seen. Why? Cause NONE of the rest of the anime even resembles the tone set up here! The yakuza bussiness? Irrelevant. Hina’s powers? Irrelevant. Hina’s backstory? (Almost) irrelevant. Comedy? Cranked up to the max. 

Even if you aren’t quite fond of the dynamic of Hina and Nitta, or their personalities in general, no need to worry cause there are actually 3 main characters in Hinamatsuri. First we’ve Hina of course. She is very careless and childish and I’m not going to lie, I had trouble tolerating her at some parts. Second is Anzu, who’s sent by the “organization” to bring Hina back. She uses her powers for about 2 seconds, loses, realises that she can’t go back and becomes homeless. Her story is the most touching out of the three, with the least comedy. Our third character is Hitomi who’s completely seperate from the superpower/organization plotline as she is just a normal schoolgirl who gets dragged into having to work (keeping it as vague as possible).

Episodes consist of 1 story in the first half and a completely seperate one in the second half. The main character keeps changing which is great, cause as I said all 3 characters’ stories have distinct feel and tone to them. 

The comedy is really good imo. Great timing and great reactions with the jokes being surreal but not too much as to become too weird. The art style may get a little to get used to however the animation quality is up to par. [8/10] (x)

Recommend: HELL Yeah! | Yes | Eh??? | Nope | This anime killed my parents 

if you want: cute girls / cute female friendships / some pure fun / exciting story / good character development / basically no fanservice!

And in today’s “only Japan could come up with something like this” we have racing horse girls, The Anime!

And I’m going to start with what’s all on your minds when you look at this the first time. “Horse girls, anime of a mobile game = bad production, no story and lots of creepy fanservice” right? Actually, no! Not even close. I avoided this as well cause that was what I thought it was going to be like but I gave in and I sure am glad I did! Because there’s no fanservice, the production quality is great and the story is actually thrilling! 

So in Umamusume there are girls who are half horse and half human which basically means that they have the physical capabilites of a horse but the looks of a human (with cutesy ears and tails of course because anime). These girls attend schools to take part in races. That’s it, that’s the anime. But wait! It’s actually...pretty exciting?

First off, from reading other people’s reviews and doing some minor googling, it turns out that the characters in the anime are actually based on...real life, actual racing horses. Not only that, but their hair colours are actually based on those horses’ fur! This is why a lot of them have weird white streaks in their hair because the horses often have white spots of fur. I know that’s a minor detail but I was amazed by this because...it shows that the creators not only have knowledge of the base material but are actually dedicated about it. I’ve also come to know that the races we see in the anime are also based on real races that happened with the same outcomes.

We basically have 2 main characters, Special Week and Silence Suzuka. Suzuka is an already established and talented horse girl who however is losing her love of racing. Spe-chan (Special Week’s nickname [incredible]) is new to the school and taking part in races and we follow these two on their journey. 

In regards to characters, there are a shitton of them. First we have the trainers of the 2 teams. The male trainer is the one whom you would expect to be the “fanservice/self-insert” thing character and they kinda set him up as such in the first episode however he becomes more of a father figure to the girls. Then, there’s Team Spica with their members who are the main supporting chars and Team Rigil who’re the secondary supporting characters. We get to know the Spica girls more but they’re mostly there to provide some additional entertainment. Which is a big shame cause they’re shown racing in the opening and they all seem to have different techniques but we’re not shown that in the anime itself. BUT! While I’m sad about that, I’m also glad that the anime knew what to prioritise in its short runtime of 13 episodes. In the end, the focus was Special Week and Suzuka’s character development in which the races WERE the focal point.

And the races! Yes, it’s just a bunch of girls running in a big circle but they made them so exciting! There’s one quite impactful race where the main character is not doing quite well and then the background and sound dissapears and she takes a deep breath. And I was rooting for her so hard and so stressed that I unconsciously took a breath WITH her. That’s how invested the anime can make you. 

Oh and side-note, the winning girls put up basically an idol performance at the end of the day of the race with singing and dancing and all that but the anime basically pays no attention it so I’m guessing that it was only included because it’s in the mobile game(?).

Umamusume is a surprising little gem. The creator’s dedication to horce racing bleeds through the anime and is one of the big reason that it’s so enjoyable. With lovable characters and an exciting and heartfelt story, I’d recommend this to anyone. [9/10] (x)

Recommend: HELL Yeah! | Yes | Eh??? | Nope | This anime killed my parents

if you want: (hetero) romcom / adults juggling IRL and being weebs / some not cringy romance / to go “uwu” / relatable shipping problems / relatable gaming problems

Wotakoi is definitely not something that’d be my first choice when deciding what to watch. Romance focused anime isn’t really my style but I saw another user that I like blog about it and saw how high rated it was and as there was the “comedy” aspect I thought...eh there isn’t really much to lose here, at most I’ll just dislike it. But I’m incredibly glad to say that this, just as the other 2 anime included in this post that I only gave a chance due to “peer pressure”, actually didn’t dissappoint!

Our main cast is made up of adults in their mid-twenties, working an office job. In the first episode we are introduced to Narumi who’s switching to work at a new firm where she founds out that her childhood friend Hirotaka is also employed at. Narumi was first planning on hiding her hobby of being a big-ass weeb but she soon finds out that 2 of her co-workers also share this hobby of hers. The first episode then ends with Hirotaka and Narumi deciding to “date” purely because they’re both weebs and it would be convinient not to have to hide it.

There’s a great chemistry between the 4 main characters and the shippers are probably having a field time with this anime as basically all of them are shippable with each other. 

So, obviously this being a shoujo, the main appeal to most fans would be the romance but that definitely wouldn’t be enough for me to enjoy something. But this is where the comedy and the “relatable :100_emoji:” aspect comes in. The 2 work in tandem, with most of the humour steming from typical “otaku problems” and how much being a weeb affects their everyday life. 

One downside would be the kind of rushed ending. Wotakoi isn’t a plot focused anime but they introduce a new character like 2 episodes before the finale and I just didn’t see the point. It DOES show the text “See you later” or something at the very end, so maybe there will be a second season? (Would watch). I also thought there was a missed opportunity with the last character introduced as she is obviously also set up as a love interest for another character (not one in the main cast, don’t worry) but this char thinks that she is a guy. Now, the main 2 female characters are BL lovers and I thought that introducing an actual gay couple into the anime would force them to realise that, you know...it’s not very polite to fantasise or obsess over gay people just cause of their sexuality...but eh, I guess that’d be a too serious topic for something as lighthearted as Wotakoi.

All in all, it was a nice, short and fun 11 episodes and if you like comedy, romance or both, I’d definitely recommend! [7/10] (x)

Recommend: HELL Yeah! | Yes | Eh??? | Nope | This anime killed my parents

[serenity-writes]

Collar x Malice Spoiler-Free Review

My first review of a VITA game~ Thank you to @himiko-kaze​ for the suggestion :)! I’m a little late to the handheld since I just bought one a few months ago for all the gorgeous otome, so I’ve been playing catch-up. This one I picked up because I really love the art style, and I’m so glad I did. So, if you’re still on the fence, let me attempt to convince you to give it a try ;) *This review will contain details of the prologue/basic premise, and all CG’s are taken from the prologue/product page, so there will be no/very minor spoilers.

So, what is Collar X Malice?

Dystopian feelings run amok in a fictional creation of Shinjuku, Tokyo. You play as Ichika Hoshino (name changeable, will be referred to as MC from now on), a rookie cop. Currently, a series of terror attacks have been plaguing the city, all leading up to “X-Day”, a day that the terrorists Adonis promise will purge all sinners. One day, MC is captured by the mysterious Adonis; they lock a collar on her that will poison her if she doesn’t do as they wish. Our dear MC is rescued by the LI’s, and she begins to work with them to uncover the truth behind these attacks and to hopefully prevent them all.

OVERALL RATING: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♡

PRODUCTION QUALITY (ART/MUSIC/VOICES): ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

STORY: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♡

STEAMINESS: ♥ ♥ ♡ ♡ ♡

SUSPENSE/DRAMA: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

MC LIKEABILITY: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♡

DOES MC HAVE EYES: YES!

Let’s break it down.

If you’ve read any of my other reviews, you know by now that the production quality of a game is very important to me. CxM really hits all the sweet spots in that aspect. I’ve never really seen a game with this much uniqueness and style. It’s really in a category all on its own. Don’t ask me why, but the words that spring to mind when I think of the art are ‘edgy’ and ‘sharp’. This is some of the promotional art:

The CG’s are drawn with a slightly softer tone, but it’s not nearly as romantic as, say, Code:Realize’s art style. It very much suits the themes of the game. The eyes of the characters are a smidge unsettling to me, especially Takeru’s with those snake-like ones, but I don’t mind it too much.

This background and many others are done in this vein to really perpetuate the dreariness that is Shinjuku under rein of terror.

The music does a fantastic job at contributing to the suspense and intensity of it all, as well as the voices. They all seem to fit with the characters, and the actors did a fantastic job with displaying emotion, especially during tough scenes or cute scenes (especially during Mineo’s route <3).

I also really love the way the text is stylized. Dialogue lines aren’t just in the text box on the bottom, they actually jump around depending on the speaker’s location and are color-coded, like this:

And sometimes characters come on the sides instead of having full sprites appear:

They’re such unique touches that I never thought I needed, but ended up really appreciating throughout. With Vita otomes from Aksys in general, I’ve come to expect a very high production quality regardless of story quality, and CxM definitely doesn’t disappoint.

This story is unlike any other otome I’ve ever played. It’s definitely more of a plot-driven story, with romance being more of a side dish rather than a main course, if you know what I mean. It definitely has its sweet, adorable moments full of team bonding and flirty flirting. But if you’re looking for a story that focuses fully on romance, better look elsewhere. Our characters got shit to do, like saving their city first haha. I feel that the main mystery of X-Day and Adonis is interesting on its own. I wouldn’t say it interested me enough that I would play a game strictly with the story and none of the romance, but it was definitely well-crafted and incredibly unique. I was genuinely baffled by the mystery sometimes. I really like that the game takes the time to force you to think about the case and draw your own conclusions.

Of course, I can’t not mention the love interests:

From left to right, it’s Takeru Sasazuka, Mineo Enomoto, Aiji Yanagi, Kei Okazaki, and Kageyuki Shiraishi. They’re all representatives of the typical tropes you can expect to find in an otome, but they didn’t feel overdone and they all had their unique quirks that really made them memorable in my mind. This game, like Code:Realize, forces the player to play through four routes before unlocking the final “true” route. I did the recommended route order of Mineo -> Takeru -> Kei -> Kageyuki first, then Aiji was unlocked. I think this order allows the story and mystery to be unlocked piece by piece, which was the intent. This progression felt much more natural than it did in Code:Realize, for it’s an actual mystery with cases.

There was little in terms of steaminess in the game. The furthest they really get is kissing, with some implications of something more. But it’s sweet all the same, and I don’t think more would have improved the game much in terms of enjoyment. The suspense was ramped up allll the way and I was really left guessing throughout the entire thing. Maybe I’m just bad at these games haha…

In terms of a main character, I really like Ichika. She’s rather outspoken and unafraid. She tries really hard to be a good sister and a police officer that helps the citizens. She has her own sense of justice. She even admits when she’s wrong, and makes efforts to repair things and apologize. I really like the proactive role she takes in these cases, and she actually tries to solve them instead of only relying on the expertise of those around her. Sometimes I felt she was a little naïve, but hey, nobody’s perfect. However, one thing that I could not get over was ICHIKA’S HAIR! It’s this random mix of short, cropped hair at the back, accompanied by scattered long strands at the side that seem to go on forever. It’s pretty much the epitome of anime hair and makes no sense whatsoever. I’d show you a picture but the CG’s that show it are spoilery, so I won’t. Play the game and you’ll know what I’m talking about, haha…

One more shot of some of the boys:

Overall, this game gets a solid four from me. If you can get it on sale, absolutely do it. There were definitely some routes I enjoyed more than others, but I think there’s something here for everyone, no matter what type you’re into. My favorite ended up being my first route, Mineo, though Yanagi is a close second. I know others really loved Kei and Shiraishi, but eh, they weren’t for me. I’ll hopefully be doing a route by route review as well, so look out for that ^_^. Thanks for reading~