#and only know vague spoilers for how the 2nd series ends

[mae-i-scribble]

i’ve been rereading wings of fire because a friend was kind enough to gift me with physical copies of the first series and yeah, i do still love these books with all my heart. They have such genuine and compelling characterization, the way that the main five are a family first and foremost, each of them getting their own book to explore their perspective while not diminishing their presence in the other books. The ways that Sutherland quietly and not so quietly showcases the effects of war and trauma and being forced to fight for your life when our protagonists are children. There’s almost too much to gush about, almost everything about these books is something I love to pieces. Though I really do wish that not every book had a vaguely or not so vaguely romance subplot/possibility in them. The only one free of that is Sunny’s, and while some I like such as Glory and Deathbringer(their banter is cute i’ll excuse a 2 day romance based on that alone plus its not exactly a romance just crushing)/ Clay and Peril (less for romantic inclinations and more so how interesting their friendship is with peril’s one sided obssession/love bc it makes total sense from both their perspectives), the others are...eh. I probably wouldn’t mind them as much if they were like, the only romantic subplots but again, when nearly every book has a new one to throw at you I have to start comparing them.

More than that though, I’ve actually never read past the first series before. I’ve read Moon Rises about 4/5 times at least, I adore Moon and that book to pieces. But I’ve never actually read past it bc I could see what was happening with the love triangle setup, and after 5 books mainly focusing on found family with relatively little of the romance bs, I was dreading reading a main storyline romance with one of my least favorite cliches. But I’ve decided to start reading the rest of the series for the first time and I have to say this really does feel like the perfect follow up to the first series based on its plot and focus characters alone. Being so intertwined with dragons and plot threads from the first series is really working in its favor by picking up questions and plot threads and addressing/resolving them. The first 5 books are about ending the war and bringing the tribes together, these books look like they’re going to be about preserving it. Loosely speaking of course, bc these books are also about a number of things that the first and second series are mirroring each other in and I think that’s really neat. Now here’s to hoping that love triangle goes nowhere.

[averyangrytissuebox]

I'm going to level with you for this campaign. I am very biased because I love this campaign. I have lots of fond memories of playing this campaign with my friends by the seaside. Passing nervously as we did the last scenario or doing absolutely busted shit because we didn't realise how overpowered double or nothing can truly be. This doesn't mean you should take my review with a 3 autofails worth of salt because I stand by what I say, I just wanted to gush first.

Path to Carcosa: The perfection of the base formula

This is a big claim to start the review so let me explain what I mean. Path to Carcosa is the quintessential arkham campaign which every future campaign will deviate from in different directions with stuff like Edge of the Earth's large maps or Scarlet Key's open world. If you loved the base game set up in Night of the Living Zealot and Dunwich Legacy then Carcosa is for you.

Path to Carcosa follows our investigators as they investigate a bizarre performance of a mysterious play which pulls them across the world to France as they try to understand exactly who they face before venturing to Carcosa in an attempt to escape their influence. This campaign spans a variety of locations from high society parties to the streets and catacombs of france but always followed by the Man in the Pallid Mask.

The campaign plays with an interesting dynamic where depending on whether you believe what you see or doubt its very existence changes how the campaign is played with whole scenarios being inverted depending on the route and even the final boss being changed. This is a formula which other campaigns follow suite on to varying levels of success (Scarlet Keys doing it well while Forgotten Age's only matters if you want the secret ending / which companion you want and Circle Undone changes some stuff but not noticeably in my opinion.) This does make saying a favourite scenario hard because there are lots of variance.

If I had to choose a best scenario (and I am writing a review here with a specific format so I sort of do), I'd name the last one but this will require some spoilers. Skip to my complaints to dodge spoilers. Dim Carcosa is the culmination of the decisions you've made across the campaign because depending on whether you had conviction or doubted all that you see. If you doubted the existence of the other world, now you have nowhere left to run because he is all around you but if you hold to your convictions, now you must face him head on at his strongest because you fed his power.

That being said, there are some complaints to be had with this campaign. Echoes of the Past snowballs one of two ways: If you get the cultists under control, it is easy but if you don't, you will struggle to get it back on track. Secondly, Dim Carcosa is harder than most other scenarios. I don't have that many complaints about the campaign as a whole if my gushing doesn't make that clear enough

In terms of investigators, brain is the name of the game. Mental damage is way more common than physical so having a decent sanity is needed unless you plan on buying Elder Sign Amulet. Keep relics and spells handy because there is an enemy which can't be beaten quickly unless you use them. An investigator capable of evading is also super useful depending on the route you take. Finally Calvin Wright can achieve godhood in this campaign so yknow go apeshit if you want.

Overall, I love this campaign. It is classic arkham perfected where the scenarios themselves aren't complex but the theming is rich and gameplay is interactive. This is the perfect introduction campaign to try with friends. If you are reading this and are even vaguely interested in trying it out, try it out (If you know me personally, message me pls pls pls pls). Finally the end of review ranking, this is the best campaign so far with Dunwich Legacy 2nd and Night of the Zealot last

Other reviews in this series:

Night of the Zealot: Let's start at the Beginning. It is a very good place to start

Dunwich Legacy: Good but with Growing Pains

The Forgotten Age: Flawed but interesting

[vegaelettra]

Like Ripples in a River: Redacted Records

Ch26 - Out of Thoughtful Consideration (on AO3 ❤)

If you have ever thought "oh, is such a pity that VegaElettra notes at the end of the chapter aren't longer", this is the place for you ^-^

Or, in which I ramble about the the chapters and the behind the scene.

I actually wanted to start with the last chapters, but then I forgot and then it's already one year XD So, I'll mention just a few things as a little bonus ;)

BONUS (Ch24 & Ch25):

***Slightly spoilery***, but it's vague enough (and maybe they'll make you curious if you didn't already read them ^-^).

One, that I love to imagine that Hae-ryung spent the previous two chapters in varying degrees of this:

GIF by candlewinds

And that U-won, instead, spent them in a varying degrees of this:

GIF by mykoreanpersonality

Poor man! XD

And in my first draft, I was honestly even more cruel. Because, before meeting A-ran and Eun-im and being judged, he would've gone home and met Seol-geum and be judged by her too. Lucky him, I didn't manage to make the scene work. XD

And when in the chapters Hae-ryung's mentions that "she's waiting for that book she heard about science and horrors, creatures and monsters"... that's Frankenstein by Mary Shelly ;) Not a clue if it ever managed to to be brought to Joseon in that period but since it was published around 1818, I decided it was good enough for this fic! And something that, I'm sure, would have interested our dear Hae-ryung <3

====================

And now, to then new chapter behind-the-scene :D

Under the cut, because there are going to be a little bit of spoilers XD

Cultural Note: Munhyeong/Daejehak Daegam

AKA the Chancellor of Royal Literature (Chancellor Hong in my fic)

Since in this chapter I decide to try use the korean honorifics in a consistent way, I had to go search for his through the episodes.

And found a nice little tidbit.

The Daejehak was a Senior 2nd Rank position in both Hongmungwan, aka the Office of Special Advisors (홍문관), and Yemungwan aka the Office of Royal Decrees (예문관). From what I gathered (google translating articles from korean), they were often held by the same person.

To be called Munhyeong, though, the same person needed to hold also the top position at Sungkyunkwan.

And this was something possible only if the person had passed the civil service examination and received a special order by the King.

Talk about a political career ;)

And its meaning is something like "a scale that correctly evaluates the learning of the entire country" in the sense that it is the scale of learning, the standard for writing, and is the best among scholars.

SSC truly made sure all the best positions were given to his men...

Second Cultural Note: Sejabin Manora

AKA the Crown Princess

Do you know how in the series they call her "Sejabin Mama"? Well, from a wikipedia page about Royal Titles in the Joseon dynasty I stumbled upon (and think I read it somewhere else or heard in some kdrama), the most correct form is "Sejabin Manora".

Because "Mama" was reserved only for the King, Queens and Crown Prince.

So, yeah, "Daegun Mama" that Sam-bo loved to scream at the top of his lungs? It should have been "Daegun Deagam" at the top of his lungs XD

There were many Daegam running around the Royal Palace XD

Third Cultural Note: officer's wife

In the aforementioned wikipedia page, there's a little table about the titles of the women married to officials.

Our dear Hae-ryung's title is Anin since U-won's is a 7th rank officer, but what I found extremely funny is that, according to it, the rough translation is...

... "Peaceful Lady" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

GIF by candlewinds

Yeah LOL she's such a peaceful lady ^-^

And, I mean, not a clue if it's right (didn't have time to check)... but I'm still going to use it somewhere. I'm already picturing Yang complaining and saying something like "So much for the peaceful lady" XD

BEHIND THE SCENE

Title: it was inspired by the words used by U-hui during the series (and that I reused in a different way in this chapter) during the meeting she had with Ji Yin in episode 9. It felt quite apt ;)

One of the reasons, among many, that this chapter was so late was the fact that dear SSC and U-hui never interacted in the series 😱

At last, with most other characters and relationship I had something to build upon, but here I got nothing except the fact that she didn't quite had a great opinion of him.

I had to read the previous scenes with their POVs and try to mash all together in my mind to come up with something which would sound in-character for both of them.

And I love the fact that I had the chance to show one more time how manipulative and emotional abusive SSC can be. Like with U-won, in some convoluted and messed up way, he cares for her... but the tragedy is that he cares for both of his children more for the way he wants them to be (and hope to mold them) rather than the two real people he has in front of his eyes.

That's why, U-hui in the end is not sure anymore who is the one who deceived the other. She wants to be the one in control, to break free from his threads, but as with Jae-gyeong a few chapters ago, she is still swept up and unsettled by his manipulation. I tried to deliberately parallel a few moments of that chapter like when she runs to meet him in the same way Jae-gyeong was forced to run too. And how both of them (and even U-won with Hae-ryung) are forced to deal with the fact that SSC uses "family" and their fears as a way to try control and manipulate them.

That's also way I tried to parallel Yi Jin and U-hui's scenes. Both are forced in a situation where there's not a clear-cut correct answer and both are forced to do their best with the tricky situation they are forced into.

But in the end, there's a difference. While Yi Jin has to make concessions he regrets somehow, he ends hopeful on being able to have the upper hand. U-hui, instead, in a way not dissimilar of the powerless trapped position she's in, ends up unsure and conflicted, without a solution that could make her situation better.

And, lastly, the female historians are not going in the same places as the series. 😉 And there's two reasons behind this:

the ripple effects of the characters' decisions. With Yi Jin and U-hui's plan underway and SSC's growing interest in keeping an eye on this development, it seemed to me the most logical direction;

me being salty.

Let me clarify point 2. Yi Jin and Sa-hui's interactions in the series are all fine and good (and there's going to be chances for them to interact in my series too)... but why he needs a female historian? And why Sa-hui who was sent spying (the Queen Dowager in primis) was barely be seen doing it in the series? I was so disappointed XD So, this time, *mild spoiler* she'll be spying 😈 and we'll go from that ;)

=============================

If you read til the end, know that I adore you ❤️ I hope it was a fun read!

[rabidrodent]

Attack on Titan thoughts

last night i saw the finale of attack on titan and shared some meandering thoughts on the series on twitter, but i'm reposting it here because twitter is dead and sucks.

spoilers, of course

---

man.... maaaaaan.... is that the ending everybody complained about and said ruined the series? really? that was about as perfect and justifiable an ending as anyone could hope for. aaaaaaaaa im gonna slap someone

god... GODDDD... SLAP SLAP

alright i'm gonna use this thread to wax thoughts on the series

---

so i remember when this series started, it was a huge ass phenomenon. you could not escape it. but personally i wasn't entirely on board

i watched the first season, i got the appeal enough, yadda yadda giant freaky naked guys. i didn't hate it, but just found it kinda dry and unengaging. there was a vague horror aspect which i wasn't particularly into, some dry politics, and that was about it.

so the fanaticism and meme-ry was just something i witnessed from the sidelines. then like... years went by without a season 2, and it all just kinda died down mostly. (if i was clever i would say it was... rumbling... below the surface.... but i don't feel like it)

anyways that 2nd season finally dropped, and it kinda felt like an instant difference? like it finally felt like the story was gaining traction. it still had the mystery thing going, but it also kinda stared focusing more on character relations.

so the 2nd season is when i finally got on board with the series and engaged with the plot and characters. ... of course, the 2 leading characters of the season end up completely benched soon after, which i'm still kinda salty about.

the rest is a rollercoaster, i dunno.

---

but eventually the series swaps to a new production studio, which i was a little concerned about, cause Wit did a great job, but Mappa picked it up and knocked it out the park.

the whole "final season" thing ending up as multiple seasons and multiple specials is silly as hell, but the results speak for themselves and the final product was excellent.

the final season starts from a completely different perspective, which seems like a perfect spot for production to have changed. it's a bit jarring, characters don't look *quite* how you remember, but you get used to it.

this ED... luv it. listened it it a bunch. very sweeping, a perfect last emotional beat to lead each episode into. (plus i'm only just now realizing the foreshadowing of the bird imagery.) mwah.

---

so by the 3rd season on, it's clear the series it hitched on twists and poetic character interconnections. i love that shit. yeah, characters dealing with the results of their actions through the people their actions have affected. that's the good shit gimme that

what i like about this series is that it feels like the directions it takes were thought out and planned ahead? seems like an obvious thing to do with a story, but it's fleetingly rare under the maniac workload of weekly manga production, so you take what you can get.

but i feel the series would still have rewatch value, even after you know the mysteries and twists, because you can refocus on the actions of the characters, knowing the secrets they're hiding, seeing the little clues you never noticed previously. that is good.

---

my friend, who wasn't particularly into anime, got really into the 1st season (it's a gateway series afterall), but fell off with the 2nd season... so complete opposite of me... we argued about it a couple times lol

he's mumbling about the secret of the basement, how it's not a big surprise, and im like.... you are like a tiny baby... you cannot fathom the directions this series takes

and it absolutely does go wild places leading into the final arc, enough to reasonably say it jumped the shark or whatever. but at that point it's a rollercoaster and it's all a means to an end to get the story where it wants to be.

---

and the ending. fuck, for *years* i been hearing how bad it was. {spoilers} did people really want eren to live or something? c'mon. he's clearly miles beyond redemption by that point. and it still tries throwing him a vaguely sympathetic bone in the end you can take or leave.

don't be so clingyyyy about characterssss. not every character needs to be a beacon of moral light, and not everyone needs to get a happy ending. even if you still really like the character, let the narrative take them in the direction it needs to take.

the final scenes of time passing gets very existential. it shows that, despite all hardships, it was all just a spec of sand in the hour glass of time. despite the struggles and victories for peace, war still found its way back around again.

the final shot of the boy and the dog walking toward the tree where eren is buried mirrors ymir's accidental finding of titan powers. the suggestion is it's all cyclical, and the struggle of titans will inevitably begin again, as it reasonably happened even before ymir's time.

i think that's kinda poetic. i like it. leaves you wondering what it's all for. it's nice when an ending leaves you thinking about things.

anyways this rant is aimless and no one's reading. but i'm gonna go ahead and call this shit a masterpiece, idgaf. it's not perfect, maybe not a top fav, but it doesn't need to be. it hits those strong emotional notes cleanly and consistently, and that makes my dog brain happy.

the end.

[transformersvn]

Thoughts on Transformers: War For Cybertron - Siege

General conclusion: Very pretty, though the writing isn't fantastic. I had fun with it. If you're a Transformers fan (and if you’re on this blog you probably are), you'll probably enjoy it. If not, you might have some trouble knowing who's who, but you should still enjoy the visuals.

(Coming at this from a background of mostly TFP and MTMTE/LL.)

Under a cut because this got long. Going through The Good, The Bad, and The Spoilers.

The Good:

It's really pretty. There's an almost claymation quality to the animation and I really like the heavily scratched but polished look everyone has. The lighting is really well done too.

With a few exceptions (coughProwlcough) the G1 character designs work pretty well.

For some reason, I find Shockwave tapping on his datapad with his gun-arm very funny.

The voice acting is mostly good. Megatron's good, and I have to give Starscream and Wheeljack credit for actually putting a voice on rather than sounding like generic Autobot #3.

I liked their approach to Starscream. And Ratchet's backstory is a bit more interesting than just "the medic".

If you're a G1 fan, there's a good chance you'll see your favourite character at some point.

There are a lot of nods to Transformers lore.

Megatron's propaganda moments were pretty well done (and his portraits were amazingly ridiculous).

Megastar shippers will be happy.

The Bad:

There are a *lot* of characters, very few who are named clearly. I'm coming to this from knowing a lot about Transformers and I'm still struggling with the 2nd-3rd tier characters at times. I can make a guess and it's usually right, but I think a newcomer would have a hard time of it - especially given all the palette-swapping.

The writing is pretty mediocre. The plot makes very little sense and everyone's kinda trope-y. At least once it sounded like Optimus disagreed with himself during one conversation, but it turned out he was making a weird reply to Elita.

Speaking of Optimus, his voice actor isn't the best. It's a very Batman-y take on Optimus and it's plagued with weird pauses in his speech that muddy his meaning. Not helped by his vague motivations.

Ultra Magnus. Just, Ultra Magnus. I can accept him making poor choices (ones that are kinda justified in fairness), but he doesn't follow through in any meaningful way. Then his arc makes even less sense as the series unfolds. Plus, he didn't quote a regulation once - if you can shoehorn in Soundwave saying "inferior", why not have Magnus do what he's well-known for doing? It's worse than Shockwave not getting to say "logical".

The fight scenes are a bit confusing at times, weird cutting mostly.

Can we stop coding the Decepticons black? Please? The former-slaves-who-rose-up-but-then-grasped-power-and-turned-evil narrative is pretty uncomfortable these days. Yes, I know this is coming from a cartoon in the '80s, but there's only so far you can mitigate things with Optimus's stance on revolution.

It could've used a few more episodes to let things breathe and maybe show some of the consequences of Decepticon and Autobot choices.

The Spoilers:

If you'd lined up the main Decepticons and asked me which one was going to switch sides, I wouldn't have needed previous knowledge of SkyJetfire to know who it was going to be. It's a bit bad when you colour-code their optics, even if it is staying true to G1.

Speaking of Jetfire, someone needs to slap the word "honour" out of writers' hands until they can figure out what they're actually trying to say. The only reason Ultra Magnus didn't shoot Megatron in the back when given a chance should've been because he still thought there was a way to reason with Megatron, *not* because his honour couldn't allow him to shoot someone in the back.

People "die" offscreen way too often only to reappear and have other people surprised. How durable are Cybertronians? It's a bit plot-armour-y and the Decepticons have quite a bit of generic mook stupidity that's a bit frustrating when they fail to check bodies. And even when they do and find Impactor's arm, he's still alive? But Skywarp didn't survive despite being good to fly for a while after being shot?

My goodness, who could this mysterious cloaked stranger with Ultra Magnus's distinctive shoulders be? Ultra Magnus?!?! I never would've guessed.

If Ultra Magnus had the Alpha Trion Protocols and *still* ended up doing a wishy-washy surrender (it could've been so much better if he'd actually had any kind of leverage against Megatron and truly attempted a peace treaty, but it ultimately felt like a drawn-out suicide by warlord) what's to say that him passing on the Protocols to anyone else would work better? Why would Optimus listen any better to someone new?

(I would've liked it if Bumblebee had kept the Protocols and then they could've leant towards Hot Rod showing up to get passed the Matrix of Leadership too, get a new generation of people who can actually make use of the things and not spend their time waffling about faith.)

Optimus is such a bad leader. I don't think I can stress this enough. Especially when you've got Megatron on the other side who's mostly decisive (if evil) and it's clearly working for him. Optimus feels very impulsive and always falls back to "just have faith in me" when he can't find a good reason for what he's doing. I shouldn't come out of this thinking that if I was in Megatron's position of having to work with Optimus Prime and Ultra Magnus during the initial revolution, then I would've snapped too.

Optimus's decision with the Allspark made so little sense. Yes, keep it out of Megatron's hands, but it seemed highly likely that he was going to kill *everyone* left on Cybertron with his stunt. How is that better?

[comradeocean]

I haven't read Arya x Gendry in like ... 6 years. I caught up a bit this week. Here are some I really like! 

[30 some fic recs after the jump]

post 8x01 Arya keeps looking for reasons to visit Gendry in the forge. - mmh post episode askbox fic

Somewhere to Begin, MissAtomicBomb (mrs_nerimon) The Stark sisters share a moment in the wake of some impactful reunions. - lmao my most frequently used GoT tag was "westeROS" (remember Ros???) followed by "Stark famly dynamics." So Stark sisters hashing things out... my kryptonite

Beautiful & Deadly Sharp, vlaurie17 Learning to fight with a sword were some of Arya's best memories. Sansa, however, was hesitant. “What do I do with it?” “Stick ‘em with the pointy end,” Arya smirked. Sansa just rolled her eyes, “Obviously." - also Stark sisters revisiting being Vengeance-made-girls together and practising to knife someone

I'll sing for you, Ravenclawpride06 Set post 8x1. Gendry wants it bad. Arya wants it worse. Was going to more explicit but I left it vague, felt it fit better in the end. All the pining! - I’m soft for the pining

This is my wish, crazychipmink "As he studied the drawing she had given him, he slowly began to let himself believe that she was real and alive and well. He had thought about Arya so many times that the memory of her was worn in his mind. Fragile and faded, like a piece of parchment that had been read too many times. To tell the truth, sometimes, he couldn’t even remember what she looked like, only that she was the only thing he ever wanted, ever wished for.” - season 8 episode companion fic series - ao3 tag: weapons design processes are long and require many iterations - “Davos assumed he was waiting to play his part in the great war to come, but in reality, Gendry was waiting for the next remarkable thing to happen to him. Perhaps if enough remarkable things happened to him, he would finally let himself believe that the most remarkable thing that had ever happened to him had happened.” wow ok

Who are you waiting for? crazychipmink [incomplete] "She had Arya’s face and Arya’s voice and even Arya’s smile. But despite all that, he felt like he had just spoken to a ghost. An unnatural ghost of Arya, pretending to be the girl he was in love with. Gendry had traveled to the end of the world to find her, but now that he finally had, she was gone." - the angst universe evil twin version of the fic above - we will take it bc we love to suffer - and also bc the author promises "fluff" and "eventual romance" ok sounds real but ok

the thing with feathers, yanak324 If anyone is capable of bringing the old Arya back, it’s this man in front of her, which is precisely why she must walk away. - a more (immediately) optimistic read of how Arya's in episode enactments of being No One might have gone

and in the end, jeeno2 [incomplete] Five times Gendry Waters is an idiot and the one time he figures things out. - Gendry being dumb is kind of a thing and I'm not always the biggest fan of how it plays out in fanon but this is sweet!

 The She-Wolves of Winterfell, vixleonard The pack survived. So has the Stark habit of keeping secrets. - 2nd generation Stark girls. Arya's daughter matter-of-factly saying "Stark women don't get married" - a whole ass mood.

Mid-Battle, Mary_West Sandor has something important to say to Gendry - if only Gendry can live long enough to hear it.

season 8 AU My Lady sanctuary_for_all Gendry and Arya find each other again. (AKA the plotline Gendry deserved in 7X07) - fic convention I am 100% here for: Arya scrabbling around Gendry's face looking for the seam. fic convention I am 100000% here for: Arya throwing off her glove in order to do so and then holding her hands against his cheek

Nights are for You (or Five Times Arya Visits Gendry in the Forge and One Time Gendry Visits Arya in the Castle) ASwornStark She hasn’t visited the forge since Jon returned home with the dragon bitch (the Stark sisters’ favored name for her) and him in tow. - reunion fic

season 7 Before We Jump, MissAtomicBomb (mrs_nerimon) Arya Stark's bastard boys bond on their way to the Wall. - anything for some good rowing references and bastard subjectivity

earlier laughing 'till our ribs get tough (that will never be enough), belasteals "Gendry took one look and laughed so hard that wine came out of his nose, until Harwin gave him a thwack alongside his ear." - A Storm of Swords, Arya IV (or, Gendry's POV on Acorn Hall) - real ones can't get enough of book canon and Acorn Hall.

Butcher, elephant_eyelash Gendry and Arya by the fire, discussing jacket potatoes and thinking murderous things. - perfect meditation on food and hunger and care

Dissimulo, Somnio, jeeno2 She is no one, now. But still the boy with the black hair haunts her dreams. - honestly the showrunners are cowards for not going there. let No One be Vagina Dentata Personified 2kwhenevertheBraavosiseasonsaired

post canon/canon divergent Charcoal, elephant_eyelash All about winter and feeling the cold. - weird how I'm obsessed with self-loathing and wintry alienation and the weight of history and ancestry but also devotion also love. super weird totally unexpected

Five Things Gendry Only Says in the Dark, jeeno2 Where no one else can hear him. - loneliness, shame, self-loathing. the important emotions. oh and spoiler alert some joy.

Like Wenda, Furious_Winter "...she could ride with Gendry and be an outlaw, like Wenda the White Fawn in the songs." - my favourite canon AUs are Arya and Gendry with the Brotherhood and my absolute favourites of those are when they are apart (who's ever heard of a marauding smith??) but have some of miserable bittersweet understanding and they glower at each other and make each other jealous and everything is unspoken but this is it this singular love they have for each other that doesn't quite work out. I've just realized that most of these recs are highkey angsty oops. anyway, this fic is like the most complete and perfect distillation of everything I want. - also this is so richly detailed and complete in itself. immensely satisfying. - yeah ok Furious_Winter is actually the master of post canon together but not Arya/Gendry love is not always enough fics. I'm just going to recommend all of them: - The Wolf's Head Helm [The Starks are back in Winterfell and Sansa is Queen in the North. One day, Arya receives a gift from an old friend... - Arya is in Sansas's queensguard.]  - A Means To An End (incomplete) [Arya Stark has returned from Essos and has been staying at the Inn at the Crossroads. Things are not nearly as simple as she sees them. - fuck this one hurts so good] - A Bastard At Heart [Arya and Gendry marry other people for the good of the kingdom 'cause they're self sacrificing like that. the last line took me outtt]

the truth is, baby you're all that I need, belasteals “You were jealous,” he laughed, almost shocked. “Arya Stark of Winterfell, jealous of a whore.” - sirens This One Is Not Angsty sirens

A Girl Meets a Boy, Hotpie A girl takes a face; a girl takes a lover. - possibly my favourite Crossroads Inn fic. love the Faceless Man stuff. love the detail of Needle having a smallest spot of rust, from Braavosi Steel Pox and Arya feeling a ways about it. love picking up the Melisandre thread.

So Easy To Love, Val_Creative She misses Gendry's complaining, too enthralled with staring. "You smell like Dennett's underarms," Arya murmurs, leaning in, going for blunt honesty. Gendry opens his mouth, beginning to laugh, turning uproarious and smiling. She's never seen anything more beautiful than this. More kissable than Gendry's mouth. - the summary makes it seem like it's all kissing when there is actually a big chunk of plot - in service of eventual kissing, yes, - but! spoiler alert! they don't even get to it in this fic! not exactly - maybe why I love it a lot??

With Bells in Her Hair, semicolonlife [incomplete] The further south they travel the more Gendry starts to wonder if he truly knows this woman who wears Arya Stark's face. As he begins to doubt himself more and more, Gendry becomes obsessed with the strange bells she wears in her hair. - ruthless slightly wonky Arya is my favourite Arya.

Wayfaring, Rainfallen An accidental series centered on the same basic headcanon of how Gendry found himself in the North and how Arya found her way back to it. - wolf girl Wolf Girl WOLF GIRL

Seen, sanctuary_for_all Being important matters less than who you're important to. - He wasn't sure what that verdict was, however, until she returned the unfinished sword to rest position with a deeply satisfied expression. "I am going to kill so many people with that sword." It was probably a bad sign for his long-term sanity that Gendry felt deeply complimented by that. "Happy to help." my useless heart: pikachu face - see! I like fluffy HEAs too

Hearts, sanctuary_for_all Arya comes home to her family. (Future flash) - look, I just think it's really important that even married and with children, Arya continues murdering people uwu

other AUs/misc I'll Run (Run To You), belasteals “You would rather marry a lowborn knight than a high lord, then?” She grinned, all bared teeth and sharp eyes. “I’d rather marry no one at all, else I'd not play at this mummer’s farce.” “What about the man who outruns you?” “Nobody outruns me.” (Greek mythology fusion: Arya as Atalanta, Gendry as Hippomenes. Arya vows only to marry the man who can outrun her in a footrace) - Atalanta, Mononoke, Arya. same energy.

[courage-a-word-of-justice]

Aniplex Fugou Keiji Livestream | Fugou Keiji 2 | Kitsutsuki 2 - 4 | Arte 3 - 12 (FINAL) | Fruits Basket 27 - 32

During the Millionaire Detective: Unmissable livestream (part of FunimationCon and Aniplex Online Fest), I watched and took notes, so you might find these handy upon retrospect. To be honest, this is how I do the posts for magicalgirlsandcerulean’s livestreams as well, but there hasn’t been one of those in a while...

Otherwise, these are all normal notes.

Aniplex Fugou Keiji Livestream

Look out for the dancer from the OP

Onuki was the model for the dancing for the anime – he was told to do it out of the blue

Episode 11 might have one of these^ be relevant

Daisuke’s cup ramen has shark fin in it and he made the packaging from scratch – that’s why it’s so expensive!

The director Tomohiko Ito omits important information, allowing people to decide for themselves what happened. (Miyano) – This might be why the series is stylish. (MC)

Attractiveness of character design is important! (for adapting Fugou Keiji to modern day)

I’ve never watched a livestream where the stars were so conscious of their English and Chinese audiences! This was interesting, especially because Onuki is not normally known as a VA!

“We still have a little bit of recording to do.”

Fugou Keiji 2

I keep misunderstanding my own instructions…this starts again in July after ep 2.

Todai = Tokyo Daigaku (Uni).

I believe this is the 2nd time I’ve seen a rich person like commoner’s instant noodles, although I forget where I saw the 1stinstance.

Kambe switched to the back seat now, huh?

Ah! Now I remember! The first time was seeing spoilers for this episode on Twitter! (LOL)

I see Suzue has a sensible naming scheme for her data.

Hmm…judging by the Google hits, the name visible in the background (Betbeto bin Abura) is the Arabic prince from last time.

SYN-ACK. I see these guys did their work – that’s the final stage of the 3 stage handshake required for things like internet sockets (used to send “packets” of data).

Way to crash a party, Kambe siblings…(LOL)

I really wanna see someone draw Kato slapping (Daisuke) Kambe in the face with a wad of cash…or a “shut up and take my money” meme with Kambe in it.

I like how “special cup ramen��� is on the purchases list and it costs 100000 yen. I also like how the reporter Mita was bought out for 5000000 yen (bigger than all the other individual costs except for buying out the Tower)…that’s how he showed up.

Kitsutsuki 2

I gotta finish this show and then pause it…3 shows in my normal lineup are safe.

Did Kindaichi take the bones of the fish out for Ishikawa…? Like a child would have had done for them?

Why is Ishikawa being referred to as “Hajime”…?

Draw this prostitute like one of your French girls…(LOL?)

Ishikawa clearly dropped those coins into that book earlier.

Way to diss the potential asexuality/celibacy in the house. I mean, it’s the 1800s – early 1900s, so there was less LGBTIQ+ stuff then and certainly the further back you go, the more sexual prowess becomes a sign of masculinity, but still, if the guy doesn’t want to go through with it, don’t force him.

Notice how the borders were pink for Ishikawa’s version and blue for Kindaichi’s.

Notably, Otaki didn’t seem to have that hairpin…but maybe that’s because we saw things from Ishikawa’s perspective.

Ooh…who are these bois? Also, crab.

Kitsutsuki 3

…cat? Now there’s a new perspective. That’s like saying the butler did it.

Yay! Hagiwara is Ume!

Notice Hagiwara’s version has a purple frame, while Yoshii (?) has yellow and another person has dark blue.

I think “consumption” was tuberculosis, once upon a time.

I love how the crowd is fed up with Ishikawa’s bulls***.

Ooh, chuuni Akutagawa…

In a Grove is the Rashomon story.

Tarou Hirai = Rampo Edogawa.

You stalker, future Rampo!

I kinda suspected Otaki when I thought through the possibilities…Ishikawa, Kindaichi, an outsider, Otaki (and as of this ep, Rampo too).

Gaiheikan? Is that Ishikawa and co.’s lodging?

Did they have pencils back in that day?

Kitsutsuki 4

Humouresques.

Kabayaki.

I think it was in Detective Conan that I learnt (one of) the only way(s) a man can get his nails done is by his wife doing it for him, possibly as a prank or to indicate he’s “taken”. Note this was early Detective Conan, so it’s very much a 90s attitude…considering the widespread acceptance of drag queens and the LGBTIQ+ movement these days.

Kozukata.

Lace flower.

Maichou seems to be a hybrid of Asahi Shinbun and Mainichi Shinbun.

[Monkfish/dictionary/going home] - Is this how Ishikawa shows consideration…?

The purple letterrboxing is back but this time with Ishikawa…meaning that’s just an aesthetic thing for all flashbacks after all.

Just from vaguely hearing it (I’ve got the volume on low), the words are nodo tsuki/nodo zuki. “Throat moon/throat wound” works just as well, if not better.

Balsam flower.

Update: Since enough anime fulfilled the special COVID-19 criteria, Kitsutsuki was put on hold after this.

Fruits Basket 2 2 (27)

I’ve read Another, remember?…so I kind of know what happens.

Uo’s got purple nails…that’s surprisingly cute of her.

Aw, Kureno! Another Ume role!

Why is “shisho” (master) not translated…? A weird Tokyopop-era translation quirk?

Aw, Shisho cut his hair…? Bummer.

Who was that? Shigure…?(!) Update: We find out his name later in this ep.

“If you continue to change, I’ll continue to protect you.” – Another quote for the archive.

Great…I feel personally called out by this ep.

Fruits Basket 2 3 (28)

It seems all male designers wear their designs if they have no one else to wear them…at least, that’s what I’ve gathered from Hajime (Runway de Waratte) and Ayame.

I remember Ayame stood in for Yuki’s parents in the manga at one point. This must be it.

(Spoilers for later!) I also remember Mine and Ayame get married at the end…This is the prelude to that.

Dang, Ayame, you moment-ruiner!

Fruits Basket 2 4 (29)

Did anyone in the doorway hear about Hatsuharu turning into an ox?

To quote Sailor Mercury, “Douse yourself in water and repent!”

Ooh, window splitting Yuki and Haru. Nice cinematography going on here.

I bet all people think they only think about themselves, in one way or another.

Arashiyama tofu.

Yatsuhashi are great. They’re these sweet triangle things like samosas that come in various flavours. Mitarashi dango are sticky brown skewered balls of glutinous rice…which I’ve never had, but I’ve seen them in enough anime to know what they are.

I only just realised this, but Yuki’s hairstyle isn’t even on both sides, like Atsushi from BSD’s.

Huh…you can see a copy of Mogeta and Ari (as it turns out, “Ari” is the name of a character and not “ant” at all in this case) on Haru’s bed. There’s also an article in one of the magazines discussing how denim is the popular thing now and which types are in right now.

Fruits Basket 2 5 (30)

I realised Yuki isn’t calling Tohru by her first name – he’s going against Haru’s advice.

Hmm? Why should anyone ask a rabbit to hold their horses…? (LOL)

CGI cars…*sigh*

Tororo is grated yam, IIRC.

I learnt recently that nanban means “savage” or “uncivilised”…for a potato and chicken dish, the name and the contents don’t really match…Update: Nanban means “savage” (noun) or “barbarian”. Close enough.

17-26…age gap 9 years…yikes…

The words “(a happy, yet) caged bird” come to mind when Kureno describes himself. Also, Kureno is an Ume role! Yippee!

Ahh…young love…even if it has a bit of an awkward edge to it. Mind the (age) gap!

Me being the Ume stan, of course I want to hear those sweet nothings in his voice, even if it has to be via a proxy like Uotani…I wouldn’t be an Ume stan if I didn’t.

…Ah, I see. Uotani reminds me of Minare from Wave and vice versa.

Oh, I just remembered Akito is 20 or thereabouts. Kureno/Akito is only a bit more legal than Uotani and Kureno.

Arte 3

Notice Leo never once uses Arte’s name in the lady’s presence. Her name does have some infamy to it, after all.

“She’s got some guts.” – You say that at a live dissection…LOL.

Is this love~? What’s the age gap between Leo and Arte, anyway? Update: We know for sure Arte is older than 13…that’s it.

Make the things you want prominent with perspective and such. I thought that much was obvious, but for someone straightforward like Arte, I guess it ain’t so. (Maybe it’s because I’m self-taught to some degree when it comes to art.)

*sketching by candlelight* - You’re gonna ruin your eyes, Arte!

Arte, ma girl! You’re getting’ a raise! Good job!

Arte 4

Anime makes this courtesan stuff sound like a host club…(?)

I thought Leo was saying “Aria” for a second instead of Arte, LOL. I’m getting too used to that being my alias…

Arte 5

The speech bubble said “so annoying I could die”.

Arte 6

The video’s gone all pixelated…at least, the subs have…

I bet she’s going to fall over…Update: Nup, she didn’t.

Arte 7

I thought Yuri was a Russian name…or a Japanese one.

This is basically Oushitsu Kyoushi Heine all over again! (LOL)

I thought Yuri would be pushy…like, “Here’s an offer you can’t refuse.” That kind of thing. Likewise, I didn’t think Arte would refuse.

Leo? *dun-dun-DUN!*

Siena is apparently in Tuscany. Also, I did see the Silent Manga Audition page had a chapter on a pregnant woman, so this is ch. 17 or thereabouts.

Is Ruthanna not getting the money because she’s pregnant…?

Epidemic? The Black Death?...Speaking of which, Arte is very much of that ganbaru spirit. By being progressive for her time, she becomes ordinary in our time.

Ohhhhhhh! It’s a reverse harem in progress here!...This would be a good otome game, come to think of it. It’s framed the same way.

Leo can be surprisingly childish at times, don’t you think?

Arte 8

…Really? She fell overboard? *raises eyebrow*

Ooh, china (with and without capitalisation).

Is this another sarcastic child…? Oh, bother. Still, I can see why Hamefura crossed over with Arte now…Katarina vs. Catarina!

Arte 9

Bigoli is a type of pasta, as can be guessed from context.

The kanji for the episode title literally translate to “bad child”! Like the Tones and I song, LOL!

Mikata (ally).

Arte 10

This episode is giving off a Katarina x Gimo ship vibe…but with how young they are, I’m not sure I should ship it. They’re 6, aren’t they…?

Oh, you can see Katarina and Sofia’s hug in one of the ED frames.

Arte 11

Arte’s let her hair grow out…

An Italian man…bowed. In Renaissance Italy. Now I understand what all the ANN complaints are for.

What’s up with that kid’s face…? *grumbles*

Leo’s just being Leo, I see.

That’s right, Angelo and Leo never met.

Instead of a father or a brother overly cherishing his daughter, it’s the uncle…I never thought I’d see the day I saw something like that.

Arte 12 (FINAL)

Is this like Orientalism, but with gender…? (What would you call that?)

Lemme guess…Leo is working on the church mural and so he’s away?

Was that Leo, in the middle of the mural somewhere…?

Another Japanese bow in this anime, which is set in Italy.

But where is Arte herself in that mural?

Fine = end.

Fruits Basket 31

The word Momiji is using is “hisso” or something like that. Hissho is secretary, so the translator made it “secret getaway” to make it work.

That hat! *laser stare*

*one of the textbooks has “high school chemistry” on it* Tohru can do chemistry?! I suck at chemistry!

The episode title is translated as “Are you really this stupid?” It seems the real line for that was “Are you an idiot?”

Something about high school girls appeared in my head when Haru mentioned Shigure wanting to see Tohru in her tight swimsuit…*mumbles grumpily about pervs*

Kyo’s not wet, even though he got in the water! Amazing!

I think it’s sad that Tohru responds to “stupid girl” like it’s her own name.

“…that makes you suspect me?” seems better.

The Akito and Shigure age gap is somewhere between 6 and 8 years, IIRC.

Fruits Basket 32

Tohru switched from okaasan (mother) to okattekita (a formal past tense verb meaning either “bought”, “lent” or “won” based on the characters…which I don’t have a reference for). I assume because it was so off the mark, the subbers chose a similarly off the mark word.

“When I was a kid, I thought watermelons would sprout in my stomach if I ate the seeds.”

We only know about Kyo’s dad so far…hmm…what about the mother? Update: (TW: suicide) I think it was at this point we already knew that Kyo’s mother didn’t love him and committed suicide, but it’s not certain until later.

Why do doctors always use scalpels and syringes as weapons…? I mean, even Jakurai’s symbol in ARB is a syringe!

I’ve been wondering…how big is the Sohma family? Is it diluted enough that Haru and Rin can love each other without genetic problems for their child/ren? (From Another, I would say the answer is “yes”, but shoujo normally doesn’t care about this sort of thing, which is why I ask in the first place.)

Shigure seems like the type to say, “U mad, bro?”

The mansion looks like the one in Haruhi Suzumiya, if I remember the appearance of that one correctly.

[wigwurq]

WIG REVIEW: FOSSE/VERDON

Are you ready for another prestige limited series from FX? Do you like the legitimate THE-A-TRE? Can you do jazz hands upon request? Well then Fosse/Verdon might be for you. MAYBE.

But what about the wigs? Let’s discuss. As this an eight episode series, I will be updating this post weekly and adjusting whether or not the wigs do or do not wurq. Spoilers, obvs.

So this show is about legendary director/choreographer Bob Fosse and his wife/Broadway legend, Gwen Verdon. If you have never heard of either, I suggest that you stop reading because this show is definitely not for you. Sorry? Produced by Lin-Manuel Miranda and directed by Hamilton’s Thomas Kail, this show is made ONLY for theater megageeks and basically no one else. As a former drama club president who definitely got Joel Grey’s autograph after seeing the original Broadway revival cast of Chicago, I thought I fit that bill but after watching this thing, I don’t even know that I qualify. My husband, who spent most of the episode asking questions until finally just deeming the whole thing “boring” was absolutely not the key demographic and yes he went into this knowing who these two people are and has seen several musicals. Similar limited series focusing on very specific pop culture such as Feud: Bette and Joan did a much better job catering to the uninitiated. 

EPISODE ONE: LIFE IS A CABARET

We begin at the end, then go straight to the middle, which is: a choice. We first see Sam Rockwell in old man makeup (sorry - I could find no images of this to share) and then backtrack. Much of this episode is focused on Fosse’s transition from choreographer to film director. This is when Fosse had already lost much of his hair and had a bad combover and Rockwell is given this wig that is giving me Ed Harris circa 1998 feels and like all bad man wigs, looks terrible from the back.

We are then plunged straight into production for the film version of Sweet Charity without any explanation of anything other than the fact that (duh) he’s directing the iconic Big Spender number. But wait - there’s a twist! Turns out Michelle Williams as Gwen Verdon did a lot of the directing! DUN DUN DUN. I am all for giving ladies their propers and approaching narratives as if they are Glenn Close’s The Wife character but this does not change the fact that this red Marilyn Monroe wig is not very good. 

This is all very Theatre-y with a capital T and an ending in RE NOT ER. Everything has a Theatre quality to it - but not in that Tony winning Hamilton way, more in that Emmy winning Grease: Live! way (Kail directed both) which is to say that there is no immediacy or intimacy to anything - all the characters feel like they are far away, performing on a stage - and it leaves the viewer feeling empty and, well, bored. TV and stage are just not the same! Oh, and Fosse just found out that movies and stage are not the same because Sweet Charity was a big flop! Look at how sad they are in their gorgeous apartment and terrible, bent wigs with backs that jut out from their necks! THE HORROR!

So then Paul Reiser shows up. He is fine and I’m glad he’s getting work and he’s thankfully not wearing a wig! When a new character shows up in this show, you spend the first five minutes or so trying to figure out who they are supposed to be playing, like an IMDb charades game since no one explains who they are and simply give vague context clues. At first, I thought he was Neil Simon, then he mentioned making a movie with homosexuals and Nazis so I was like: DEFINITELY MEL BROOKS but it turns out it he is Cabaret producer Cy Feuer. You, know - CY FEUER? You don’t?? WELL WE’RE NOT GOING TO EXPLAIN IT TO YOU WE ARE FOSSE/VERDON.

Aaaaanyway, Fosse gets the job of directing Cabaret and goes to Munich and meets Liza Minnelli who in this tv reality looks like this which is not how Liza Minnelli ever looked. AND THIS WIG. AT LEAST GIVE LIZA A GOOD WIG NOT ONE YOU FOUND AT RICKY’S. NEXT.

Then Paul Reiser gives Sam Rockwell a lot of guff about taking too long to direct things and not deciding about costumes and hiring ugly German prostitutes to be extras yet somehow allows him to wear these really ugly shoes. Throughout, Rockwell’s wig is a mess of a tumbleweave, not unlike this show. And then Michelle Williams shows up to save his ass like all capable ladies ever and even goes to buy a gorilla suit in NYC only to arrive back in Munich where Rockwell is boning some German translator who looks way too much like Ann Reinking. There’s also a lot of nonlinear theatrical vignettes into Fosse’s past that play like, well, All That Jazz. Which this is not. 

In the end, we go back to old man Fosse, and it is told to us that he has only EIGHT MORE MINUTES TO LIVE. Kudos to the production team for somehow trying to turn  Bob Fosse’s 1987 death into a thriller. Spoiler: it’s not.

EPISODE TWO: WHO’S GOT THE PAIN?

We (obvs?) begin in Majorca, where 70s-era Fosse and Verdon have gone to patch up their marriage. Also can you think of a more bougie place to go in the 70s to patch up your fancy marriage? There are a lot of scenes on the beach where Sam Rockwell’s 90s Ed Harris wig gets blown around and Michelle Williams cries into a cardigan. And because misery loves company, apparently their best friends, the Neil Simons, are along for the ride. Joan Simon is Gwenny’s best gal pal and her wig is something one might find in a pile of Halloween wigs to play Uma Thurman in Pulp Fiction.

We then travel back to 1955, or “267 since Gwen Verdon’s first Tony Award.” Yes, this show is still doing this insufferable titling which really is a lot of fun facts that add up to nothing. Regardless, we’re at the point where Verdon and Fosse meet as he “auditions” her for Damn Yankees which he is to choreograph. I have to say that this scene, with both actors dancing and wearing much better wigs than their characters wear in the 70s (still terrible though!) was pretty fun! They can dance! 

They also obvs fall very much in love, though weirdly the scene of them actually having sex for the first time is buried in a montage. You have very odd priorities, Fosse/Verdon! Complicating matters is Gwen’s perpetually bent wig, Fosse’s kind of ok in comparison wig, and oh and the fact that he’s married!

This show not only wants but DEMANDS that you wikipedia everything that is happening, mainly from its distinct lack of good storytelling. Anyway, Fosse’s 2nd wife was Joan McCracken and OMG CAN WE PLEASE HAVE A PRESTIGE TV SHOW ABOUT HER? Wiki tells me that her first husband ended up being Truman Capote’s lover and that Capote based the character of Holly Golightly on her and seriously why are we wasting our time on this Fosse/Verdon mess when we could be learning more about her?!?! Anyway, what the show does tell us is that she has a mysterious illness that makes her sometimes not be able to walk (Wiki explained that she had some heart attacks around this time). Also, she is no fool and fully realizes that Fosse is gonna leave her fabulous ass for Gwenny - just the way he left his first wife for her! Also please look at Sam’s terrible lace front here. Also Joan’s wig is very much Joan Allen in Pleasantville which is to say: the best wig on this show. 

Anyway, the rest of the episode is devoted to working out some musical kinks in Damn Yankees and watching Michelle Williams dance around in a bad wig. Oh, and then finally leave Fosse in Majorca when she realizes he’s about to leave HER fabulous ass for some German translator (I’m sensing a theme here). And the show ends trying to make Joan McCracken’s death into a thriller! Spoiler: Wikipedia tells me she died in 1961! Wikipedia is a much better show than this, also. 

EPISODE THREE: ME AND MY BABY

We begin in some random editing suite where Fosse has gone to begin editing Cabaret and because this show cannot and will not stop trying to be All that Jazz (which I rewatched this weekend and LORDT IS THIS SHOW TRYING TO BE THAT MOVIE - AND ALSO BOTH ARE GARBAGE!) there is an elaborate dance number with random editing assistant (?) ladies. The one good part of this is: Sam Rockwell dancing. Otherwise: garbage fire.

Speaking of garbage fires, the (4 hour!) rough edit of Cabaret that the editors put together for Fosse while he was in Majorca (which he was really pissed about because HOW DARE THEY DO THEIR JOBS) is a friggin mess. Speaking of messes, THE BACK OF THIS WIG. Is Fosse a monk? What is happening here? However, I do appreciate the casting of the dude who played SpongeBob on Broadway as Joel Grey. 

Back at Casa Verdon, where Fosse DOES NOT LIVE ANYMORE, Gwenny is making dinner and trying to get her own career back together when Fosse shows up unannounced with Chinese food and pleas for Gwenny to help him edit the mess that is Cabaret. RUDE! Gwenny and her bent wig have their own dinner dates with her agent, Peter Scolari at the Russian Tea Room to get to THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 

Thus, Gwenny leaves their daughter with Fosse and his epic combover at the editing suite to go to her dinner date and HE CAN’T EVEN HANDLE being with his tween daughter for a few hours (since he definitely has to make time to bone his editing assistant) and ropes Norbert Leo Butz in a very shaggy wig to come hang out with his kid in a hotel room. Gwenny is NOT HAVING IT. 

Even though Butz basically just ate a bunch of sloppy food and made the daughter watch a b horror movie, Gwenny points out that leaving a tweenage daughter with a random dude in a hotel room is INAPPROPRIATE EVEN IF THAT DUDE WROTE MARTY WHICH IS A PERFECT MOVIE. 

This makes her reflect on her own (somehow very Magdalene-Sisters-like) tweenage years (as played by a younger actress whose image could NOT be found on the internet, gurl) when she was raped and impregnated and then slut-shamed by her parents into marrying a much older alcoholic. YIKES. 

So back in the 70s,  despite the fact that she’s in some rando straight play called Children! Children! (yes really) which is being directed by a condescending asshole and taking care of her kid, she somehow finds time to go help her estranged idiot husband edit the movie that she basically co-directed. SERIOUSLY WOMEN HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING. Also all these wigs look like crap. Just when you think Fosse is maybe being redeemable, he decides to bring up the Gwenny’s illegitimate son AT THE VERY WORST MOMENT DUDE YOU ARE THE WORST.

Back with Young Gwenny, we see her giving her infant son to her parents to raise so she can go be a dancer. We then cut to her triumphant turn in Can-Can (some years later but Fosse/Verdon definitely doesn’t specify how many). Gwenny’s show might be a triumph, but her wig is still a mess. Oh, and she’s still haunted by the cries of the baby she gave up BECAUSE WOMEN CAN NEVER FULLY HAVE NICE THINGS.

EPISODE FOUR: GLORY

We begin at Cabaret. Isn’t life one, you guys? Fosse is all poised for this to be the flop that (apparently?) Sweet Charity was but nope: it’s a big huge critical and commercial hit! Do whatever you want, now, Fosse! Oh wait, you already do everything you want anyway? Cool! Fosse and his circa 1997 Ed Harris wig are now unstoppably arrogant! Get ready! So Fosse’s next project is the medieval/psychedelic nonsense musical, Pippin which will definitely give you contact highs. 

JUST LOOK AT HOW HIGH THIS MUSICAL IS. I think when people from the Mid Waste think of Broadway musicals, this is what most of them still think that looks like. Also this is how I fear I’ll die. 

Speaking of! Gwenny’s best galpal, Joan Simon (wife to Neil) is dying of cancer! It’s very sad because she’s really nice and despite her bad Uma Thurman in Pulp Fiction wig I appreciate her dedication to half updos with bows that match her outfits. 

Gwenny does not even have time to be sad about this because she needs to take her bent wig over to Pippin rehearsals to pick up her daughter only to find that Fosse has given her FOUR TABS TO DRINK THAT IS LIKE 3 1/2 TOO MANY. She handles it by smiling through her hatred and truly this was a very Miranda Priestly moment and also I like Gwen’s top. ALSO LOOK AT THE BACK OF FOSSE’S WIG NO THANK YOU PLEASE.

Over at Pippin rehearsals, we also meet Ann Reinking (who will become Fosse’s lady love for the next decade or so) but for now she’s keeping things professional and also this is Andie MacDowell’s (wigless, thank god) daughter. Ok!

Fosse is definitely NOT keeping things professional and basically boning the rest of the Pippin ensemble cast, whether they like it or not! There is a very #MeToo moment where Fosse ends up getting a knee to the groin and GOOD.

Not so good? Gwenny’s play Children! Children! (that title - I still can’t). Despite asking Fosse to come over and FIX. IT. he is too busy becoming the poster dude for Time’s Up and Gwenny’s show ends up getting bad reviews and closing immediately. Also her wig is fully turning into a Jean Stapleton in All in the Family lewk. Whilst Gwenny’s professional life is going to crap, Fosse is winning ALL THE AWARDS as shown in a really confusing montage which suggested that the Tony Awards are before the Oscars. INCORRECT.

In the end, Fosse drunkenly tries to go bone Gwenny but she has wisely shacked up with that dude from Obvious Child which literally leads Fosse into a MENTAL INSTITUTION and the entire show to basically just turn into All that Jazz which I will remind everyone is a very derivative and terrible movie! OY.

EPISODE 5: WHERE AM I GOING?

The title of this episode should really be an question for the viewer: where are you going? Where are we all going? Are we still really watching this show? Sadly: yes. UGH I think we’re more than halfway through now? Let’s just finish this thing!

We begin at the mental hospital where Fosse ended the last episode. Gwenny and their kid are visiting him and Fosse is basically catatonic. This does not stop Gwenny from moving FULL STEAM AHEAD ON CHICAGO! Then cut to: Southampton? Huh? Sure! There, Fosse and his best bros, Neil Simon and Paddy Chayefsky are having a beach weekend which leads to the above upsetting 70s mens shorts (which thankfully Norbert Leo Butz did NOT sign on for). I love dudes who refuse to wear shorts in the summer, no matter how hot it is. My husband is one of these dudes. 

The one problem with this beach weekend? Everybody together in their best impression of Renee Zellweger in Cold Mountain: IT’S RAINING! So everyone is stuck inside. And also it’s kind of a Big Chill sort of scenario except the role of Kevin Costner as the dead friend is now: Joan Simon. And also Fosse just got out of a mental institution 3 months ago. And he’s there with his girlfriend and Gwenny is there with her boyfriend. AND ALL THE WIGS ARE TERRIBLE. 

So Fosse’s girlfriend: Ann Reinking! When last we saw her, she was ignoring Fosse at Pippin rehearsals but it’s explained that after his (1 week!) stay in the looney bin, he gave her a ring and now they’re in LURRRVE. Ok? Andie MacDowell’s daughter plays Annie and she doesn’t wear a wig and she’s fine. Fosse’s circa 1997 Ed Harris wig is still very upsetting. As is his tan!

Also upsetting? Gwenny rolls up with this RAT TAIL (it’s hard to see in this pic but it’s the best I could do!) We’re supposed to believe that in the last 3 months she suddenly grew this monstrosity out?!?! MORE ON THE BONE CHILLING TRUTH ABOUT THIS RAT TAIL LATER.

Gwenny also has a really nice boyfriend named Ron. He is played by that guy who played a nice guy in The Office, Obvious Child, and Girls. He doesn’t wear a wig and he is very nice! Fosse’s combover is not! 

Oh also along for the ride is Fosse/Verdon’s daughter Nicole who is definitely too young to be dealing with all these effed up grownups and also is bored and ends up giving herself a cigarette/pickle-induced stomach virus. GET IT TOGETHER, PARENTS.

Most of the episode is about whether Fosse should direct Dustin Hoffman in Lenny or proceed with Gwenny’s vanity project, Chicago, despite the fact that his doctors told him to take a year off work from either! Spoiler to anyone who has never seen All that Jazz or who does not know enough about Fosse to even bother watching this: HE DOES BOTH! WHO IS THIS SHOW EVEN FOR?!?! Also Norbert Leo Butz’s man wig is not as bad as the rest. Great work on not wearing shorts again also! Also Fosse/Verdon bone again in secret even though they are married but have lovers. The 70s! 

 And now to the critical and bone-chilling facts about Gwenny’s rat tail! After a night of drinking and making terrible professional and personal choices, Gwenny sits down to a breakfast of coffee and one single piece of fruit and then....UNCLIPS HER RAT TAIL AND POUFS IT UP! So first off, that clears up the whole “how did her hair grow so long so fast” question. HOWEVER. This now leads to another case of WIG GASLIGHTING. This is when a wig (which is being passed off as real hair) is of equal or lesser quality to a wig that is a known wig within the context of the narrative. In other words - the quality of this rat tail (which we now know to be a wig) is of the same exact quality as the wig Michelle Williams wears to play Gwenny. WIG GASLIGHTING! For other bone-chilling examples of past wig gaslightings please see my reviews of The Danish Girl and Oceans Eight. WIG GASLIGHTING IS TERRIFYING.

EPISODE 6: ALL I CARE ABOUT IS LOVE

And here we are. Throughout this (limited) season, we’ve gotten hints and asides, teases and tosses of All That Jazz but this episode fully just is a remake of the movie All That Jazz. Which I recently rewatched and is terrible. Terrible still? Anyone who would be watching this show would clearly be familiar with this awful film - so why make an episode that is that entire movie with absolutely no new information?!?! Again: WHO IN THE HELL IS THIS SHOW FOR?!?!

Anyway, if you haven’t seen All That Jazz, this episode is about Fosse editing Lenny while also directing/choreographing Chicago AND having some heart issues that end in hospitalization. Gwenny’s wig is bent as ever and Fosse’s circa 1997 Ed Harris lewk is still the same. Truly, there is no new information in this episode at all except that some of it is presented with Fosse AS Lenny Bruce which was an AWFUL IDEA. 

OH! Except this lady playing Chita Rivera who is really good and has the brunette version of Gwenny’s bent wig. 

ALSO! Nicole Fosse is now played by this slightly older actor who looks nothing like her younger version (or the actual Nicole Fosse) and is in a definitely terrible wig (and also forced to wear heavy makeup to visit her dad in the hospital because kids aren’t allowed to visit hospitals? IS THIS REALLY A RULE?)

Anyway, there’s a lot of All That Jazz hospital drama here and a lot of terrible flashblacks to Fosse’s burlesque tween years which attempt to explain his messed up relationship with women in an extremely Don Draper in Mad Men flashback way. There is also messed up hospital sex with Ann Reinking! THIS EPISODE IS AWFUL IN EVERY WAY!

EPISODE 7: NOWADAYS

Fosse recovered! For now! Back at Chicago rehearsals, everyone is wearing extra socks and doing just great. The most important addition to this show this week is that they got some dude to play Jerry Orbach! His man wig was terrible!

He also very did not look like Jerry Orbach! Anyway, this episode was mainly about Gwenny being TOO OLD for all this choreography, y’all. She was huffing and puffing all over fake Jerry Orbach so Fosse had to cut a lot of her dancing but once the show opened guess what? Gwenny got better reviews than the show itself! Take that, dance steps! However, there was a whole part where Gwenny read Fosse for filth and said that he owed his entire career to her and how dare he make the finale a duet between her and Chita! (He made the finale a duet). There were also many flashbacks about Fosse and Gwenny’s fertility issues and I almost believed that Nicole was adopted until Gwenny got legit pregnant while Fosse was too busy dancing to construct cribs. You almost taught me something, Fosse/Verdon!

OMG I CAN’T STOP LOOKING AT THESE PICTURES OF FAKE JERRY ORBACH. Anyway, Fosse/Verdon then legit DID teach me something: apparently a few weeks into the run of Chicago, Gwenny inhaled some confetti during the finale and it effed with her vocal chords but she refused to leave the show, thinking it might close if she did. BUT THEN Fosse got LIZA EFFING MINNELLI to take her place while she got surgery and recovered! This was news to me! HOWEVER, Fosse/Verdon refused to show me any footage of even fake Liza in the show which was a real missed opportunity. 

Anyway, Liza revived the show and Gwenny was kind of pissed about it but on every level: THE SHOW MUST GO ON. Here is Gwenny during the finale which she was forced to share with Chita. And this show didn’t even show us the full finale! I DEMAND TO SEE MICHELLE WILLIAMS DOING THE HOT HONEY RAG WHY DID YOU EVEN MAKE THIS SHOW IF I CAN’T SEE IT. There is literally no reason for this show to exist if it can’t show me Michelle Williams doing a cartwheel in a top hat.  What a world. What a wig. 

IN CONCLUSION: LOOK AGAIN AT THE TERRIBLE MAN WIG ON FAKE JERRY ORBACH. 

EPISODE 8: PROVIDENCE

We begin (or should I say end?) with some grumpy old men talking about what they can and cannot eat (spoiler: they can’t eat anything good!) Both Fosse and BFF Paddy Chayefsky have heart conditions and creative conditions. And I have a condition with this wig on Norbert Leo Butz. NO THANK YOU PLEASE. Anyway, Paddy tells Fosse how to rewrite All That Jazz aka how to rewrite his life and Fosse DOESN’T WANNA HEAR IT. And then Paddy dies and Fosse quite literally dances on his grave but in a really sad and mournful way. Yes, really. 

Meanwhile, Fosse interviews Gwenny in preparation for All That Jazz which honestly is just way to meta at this point, and she kinda tells it like it is. And I kinda know I’m not gonna miss this bent wig! 

Meanwhile, Ann Reinking is forced to audition to play herself in All That Jazz while under the painfully awkward and terrible direction of Fosse in this circa 1996 Ed Harris wig and LORDT I WILL NOT MISS LOOKING AT THE BAD OF THIS THING!

Then over at All that Jazz rehearsals, Gwenny and Nicole are met with bizzarro visions of themselves much like these bizarro visions of themselves in this show and omg everything just got way too meta and NIcole’s wig gives me hives. 

AND THEN. AND FRIGGIN THEN. LIN-MANUEL MIRANDA HAD THE AUDACITY TO PLAY ROY SHEIDER PLAYING BOB FOSSE IN ALL THAT JAZZ. JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT THIS SHOW COULDN’T GET ANY MORE VAINGLORIOUS. MY HEAD AND MY TV JUST EXPLODED. 

Honestly, this is the only way for this terrible show to end - in a blaze of glory and nonsense. Well actually, it ended with Gwenny and Fosse reteaming in old age makeup to direct the revival of Sweet Charity but the internet refused to give me any pictures of that and fine. And then Fosse died on a sidewalk in the arms of Gwenny. And then for some reason the whole show ended with a shot of Nicole Fosse’s Vermont house. 

WHAT A LONG STRANGE TRIP IT’S BEEN YOU GUYS. But now we can finally be rid of these terrible terrible wigs and this terrible terrible show. 

VERDICT: DOESN’T WURQ

[anistarrose]

Illusion (Pokemon x Gravity Falls One-Shot)

Summary: When you're afraid you'll never have a chance to hug your brother again, there's only one thing to do.

Word Count: ~2300

Warnings: Some self-blame and self-hatred

[Can be read without prior knowledge of Pokemon. However, it may be helpful to know that (caesar ciphered for vaguely implied spoiler) Crurdun kdv wkh delolwb Looxvlrq, zklfk ohwv lw glvjxlvh lwvhoi dv rwkhuv.]

July 2nd

It’s only the beginning of my third week in Gravity Falls, and already, I’ve encountered far more strange Pokémon than I could have ever anticipated! Just this morning, Decidueye and I nearly captured a strange creature wearing a decorated rag over its body, as if to mimic a Pikachu! Based on how easily it escaped the trapping power of Spirit Shackle, I’m tempted to classify it as a Ghost-type, but the attack also seemed to do no damage whatsoever to the Pokémon itself, only busting its disguise. We’ll be keeping an eye out for this “shadow of a Pikachu” to show up again it to show up again, of course, in hopes of exposing its true form!

Beheeyem has also been especially delighted lately — I can’t help but wonder if it senses the presence of other extraterrestrials! Perhaps that’s even the origin of all the anomalies in this town?

Stan buried his head in his hands. He’d reread the damn journal four times now, and it was still half useless information and half information he was too stupid to make any sense of.

His Pokémon — except Gyarados, for obvious reasons — were milling about the basement, unsure of what to do to help but too loyal to leave. Pangoro sat cross-legged in front of the portal, as if guarding it, while Persian slowly paced around the room, sniffing things he had definitely had time to sniff before. Even Gabite, who hated the cold and would definitely rather be upstairs under a pile of blankets, was lying at Stan’s feet, wrapping his fins around Stan’s leg for warmth.

And then there was Zoroark — good old, reliable old Zoroark, who’d gotten him through more rough points in life than Stan could count — who leaned over his shoulder, offering a faint murmur of reassurance. There were no words, but twenty years of time spent together made the message clear:

You can do this. We believe in you.

But Stan was tired, so tired. His brain was crying out for coffee, but his limbs felt too heavy for him to get up and make any, his mouth too dry for him to ask any of his Pokémon to bring it to him…

He was tired of being the dumb twin, tired of being the failure twin, tired of being the twin who wasn’t good for anything but protecting others and ultimately just ended up doing the complete opposite. He was tired of being seen as a shadow, as a poor pathetic imitation of something better. He was tired of Ford and everyone who saw him like that not being wrong.

He didn’t remember falling asleep, but he must have, because a hand on his shoulder was suddenly shaking him awake.

A six-fingered hand.

“You’re not a failure,” Ford told him gently.

“And you’re not real,” Stan responded.

“I’m saying what he would say if he was here.” Ford’s nose twitched slightly, in a very inhuman — yet still familiar — way.

“Pretty sure just about the last thing he said to me was that I’d never done anything worthwhile in my life. And he was right.”

“He was angry,” Not-Ford replied. “Angry and wrong.”

He gestured around the basement, to where Stan’s Pokémon had all drifted off into sleep. “Was all the time you spent with Persian and Gabite and Pangoro not worthwhile? Was training Gyarados up from a weak little Magikarp you found stranded on the beach one day not worthwhile?”

He rubbed his shoulder, where his trench coat was singed — though subtly, in a way that Stan might have missed if he didn’t know exactly what it meant. “Was convincing your parents to adopt me and Vulpix off the street in the middle of the winter not worthwhile?”

Stan closed his eyes and shook his head slowly. “No, it was — it was worth something.”

Still wearing Ford’s appearance, Zoroark wrapped his arms around Stan and hugged him tight, in just the same way that Ford always had. Stan hugged back, and a sob caught in his throat, just in front of his heart, blocking any other sound from coming out.

“If Ford was here right now, he might still be angry,” Zoroark told him. “But I know he wouldn’t say that any of those things were worthless. You’re not worthless, and you can figure this out. We all know you can. That battle won’t be the last one Ford will ever have with us, and calling you worthless won’t be the last thing he’ll ever say to you. I promise. You’ll get to hug him again for real.”

“Thank you,” Stan choked out as the illusion melted away and Zoroark buried his long black snout in his jacket. “You’re right, buddy. You’re right.”

***

From the moment the memory gun slipped out of his hands and clattered to the ground, the end of Ultramageddon dragged on and on for Ford like some kind of eternal punishment, even as it only registered in his memory as a series of blurred and disjointed images. He barely registered the bricks of the Fearamid flying out from underneath his feet as he grabbed Dipper and Mabel and Decidueye and Ninetales and held them tight as stared up to the chaos that was the sky.

The Ultra Wormhole closed itself like cracked glass being melted down into one cohesive whole again, colors streaking from horizon to horizon and until they finally, finally subsided to a uniform blue dotted with white clouds, a faint rainbow forming above the falls in the distance.

Ford thought, for a moment, that he saw the silhouette of a winged creature above that rainbow, lit up from behind by the blazing summer sun — but he blinked and it vanished, and he had a million other things to worry about, the most horrible being the man who wore his face but was no longer his twin.

It wasn’t hard to find Stan (he almost wished it was), because Zoroark, whose bright red mane stuck out in the woods like a sore thumb, was waiting by his trainer’s side, standing down on all fours like he hadn’t since he was a Zorua and whimpering faintly as the others approached.

Mabel, wonderful blessed optimist that she was, ran up to Stan, returned his fez to his head and and was greeted by a confused smile and a question. “Uh, hey there… kiddo. What’s — what’s your name?”

“Grunkle Stan?” Mabel asked. “Grunkle Stan, it’s me! It’s me!”

“We had to erase his mind to defeat Bill,” Ford explained, the words sounding hollow in his mouth — because no explanation could ever make this any better, could ever lead to anything but more sadness. “Stan has no idea, but — he did it. He saved the world.”

Ford let out a ragged breath.

“He saved me.”

Not a full minute ago, he’d made a promise to himself that he wouldn’t expect Stan to still be Stan, wouldn’t expect him to behave like his brother would, wouldn’t say anything to this poor confused man that we wouldn’t say to a stranger.

But he’d known, in his heart, it would been a promise he wouldn’t be able to keep. All of a sudden he was hugging Stan and crying, tears seeping into his own trench coat, the coat of the man who should have taken the fall.

“You’re our hero, Stanley.”

Stan remained limp and silent, not making any move to return the embrace.

I’ll never hug my brother again, Ford realized. I haven’t in forty-three years and I never will again.

Soos joined them on the way back to the Shack, his Bibarel tailing after him, and Stan just blinked at them slowly. Zoroark pressed his nose to Soos’s shoulder and let out another mourning whimper, as Soos’s smile melted away and he wiped at his eyes with the end of Zoroark’s tattered mane. Waddles waited for them at the doorstep of the Shack, as if he’d known they were coming, but his expression remained as blank and innocent as a Pignite’s could be as he followed them inside.

Stan settled into his chair in his chair comfortably, his expression a little brighter, a little less confused-looking, and for a moment it was as if a stream of pure oxygen was being blown at the last spark of hope in the back of Ford’s mind. Maybe, just maybe, there was a bit of Stan left —

“Hey, what’s wrong? You guys look like you’re at someone’s funeral!”

And then it was gone, extinguished by the deluge that was reality, and while Ford knew the kids needed him, that their Pokémon needed him, he couldn’t stay, couldn’t keep looking at this — this shadow of a brother.

He remembered the time when he’d convinced himself that Stan had always just been his shadow, an inferior imitation, and hated himself for ever thinking it. He deserved to be hated for thinking it. If anything was a shadow, a warped reflection, a mockery of what it was supposed to be, it was the stranger sitting where Stan should have — which wasn’t fair to this amnesiac man, Ford knew, but he couldn’t keep looking at his once-brother like this, couldn’t stay here —

Hurriedly, awkwardly, he excused himself and rushed to the wreck of a kitchen, where sitting amongst the rubble was… Stan.

Except it wasn’t, because this Stan’s suit was singed and ripped over his left shoulder. The place where Ford’s Ninetales had struck Zoroark with a far more powerful than intended attack in the heat of that fateful battle thirty years ago, an attack that still left a scar to this day.

“Why are you doing this?” Ford blurted out. “Why are you being him?”

“I don’t know,” Zoroark replied, voice close to that of Stan’s yet somehow different, as if with a very faint accent. “Denial, maybe? I — I miss him. I miss him a lot already.” The sorrow in his voice, on the other hand, sounded very, very believably human.

Ford flinched as Zoroark leaned towards him, only to be drawn into a hug just like the one he’d hoped so desperately that he’d receive from Stan back in that clearing.

This isn’t real, he told himself. It’s just an illusion. It’s not really Stan.

But he also hugged Zoroark back.

“He didn’t hate you, you know.” Zoroark murmured between sniffs. “Was frustrated by a lot of things you did, maybe. But he forgave you for all of that in the end.”

Ford nodded slowly. “Do you want to go back to Stan? Together? The kids… the kids need us.”

“Mmhm.” Zoroark let its illusion fade away and withdrew from the hug. When the two of them got back to the living room, Mabel was sitting on Stan’s chair with him and crying, flipping through pages of a scrapbook.

“This’ll work! This has to work! Here’s the first day we came to Gravity Falls, Grunkle Stan, and here are the seals I used on my ball capsules that ended up blinding you!”

“That time we went fishing with you and Gyarados?” Dipper offered. “That time a giant Aerodactyl kidnapped Waddles and you punched it in the face?”

Stan shook his head sadly.

“I’m sorry,” he told them, “but I don’t know what any of this is, or who you are — ah, quit it, Waddles, I’m tryin’ to remember my life story here!”

Ford nearly collapsed with relief, and next to him, he felt Zoroark jump.

“What did you say?” Dipper gasped.

“I said get Waddles off of me!”

“It’s working!” Ford exclaimed, rushing over to Mabel’s side and putting a hand on her shoulder. “Keep reading!”

“Skip to my page! He needs to remember our boss-employee relationship!”

“Hey, just because I have amnesia don’t go tryin’ to give yourself a raise, Soos!”

From somewhere above them, something let out a caw, so loudly that it had to have been from an absolutely giant Pokémon. Between the cracks in the roof of the Shack, Ford could see a rainbow of colors in the sky — and for just a moment, a giant red and white winged creature flying past.

Ho-oh, the Pokémon of rainbows… and revival.

“You okay, uh… Ford? You’re Ford, right?” Stan asks. “My brother? Or is that just short for somethin’, or —”

“No, that’s my name — and I am fine, now. I just…”

He shook his head. “Never mind. It’s not important —”

Stan frowned, and met eyes with Zoroark, who also frowned.

“Alright, fine. Could — could I have a hug?”

Stan got a strange look in his eyes, but Zoroark nodded to him, and he stood up and let his head rest over Ford’s shoulder.

“I missed you,” Ford told him, and for a moment Stan was quiet and Ford was afraid he’d said something wrong, triggered some unpleasant memory to come rushing back without context.

“I don’t know why,” Stan finally said, “‘cause as far as I know I’m the only one who got my mind wiped lately, but… I missed you too. I don’t know what happened, but… I get the sense I’ve been really worried about you lately. And maybe, uh, not on the best terms with you.”

He sniffed. “But I’m… I’m really glad you’re here.”

Ford nodded. “It’s thanks to you that I am. You and your team.”

Overhead, Ho-oh cawed again, and a single feather drifted down between the crack in the roof, shining in red, white and green.

“To new beginnings?” Ford asked, catching it.

“To new beginnings,” Stan agreed.

***

Thanks for reading, feedback is appreciated as always! I definitely have plans for more stuff in this crossover, but also some other fics I want to prioritize over those, so it may be a while.

[sparklyjojos]

Some final commentary on Cosmic

which turned into yet another analysis of JDC, Tsukumojuku and Jorge Joestar because I have zero self-restraint. Half this post is searching for overarching themes and wacky theories, have fun with my ramblings I guess

[big spoilers for Cosmic and Tsukumojuku, not really for Jorge Joestar]

While I decided to finish Cosmic first, the recommended reading order is Cosmic (1st half) -> Joker -> Cosmic (2nd half). I guess this better ties both books together and helps avoid some Joker spoilers that are in Cosmic. The new edition even encourages it by labeling the tomes of Cosmic with Ryu and Sui, and Joker with Sei and Ryo. So you’re supposed to read “Seiryo in Ryusui” *rimshot* The cover art is also meant to be put together in that order (notice that the last cover also connects to the first though, and you can try putting the shorter edges together too):

On the book’s theme, and some meta:

I’m actually glad I’ve read Tsukumojuku before this, as it gave me a solid grip on the meta and the ridiculous detectiving. It made me LOVE the very ending, especially the “walking towards the end of the story with this tiny last moment lasting forever” part -- in hindsight of Tsukumojuku’s ending I almost cried at this point. The meaning’s a bit different, of course: Tsukumojuku has the triplets realize they should leave their daydream, and so it was both a sad and joyful ending, with them trying to stretch their last moments being ‘Tsukumojuku’. Cosmic has Juku and Yasha being a little apprehensive but determined to reach ‘the end of the story’, and at the end, they’re happy and joking around while (wittingly or not?) walking into eternity as the book ends, and with it their existence (...which doesn’t sound nearly as dramatic when you know there's a sequel).

Adding to that, I believe the last words imply the author (=the heavens forever watching over the characters) is joyful about the end (’the heavens themselves laughing’). Note that when Juku (or is it?) first appears in the book, in that post office scene, right after the 19 consecutive tragedies we just had to read through, we learn that ‘the heavens have been crying, but now it was as if they started laughing’, and Juku looks up at the sky and smiles. The end of the epilogue has the second-person someone (the reader?) be sad about the book coming to an end, with statements like ‘just two paragraphs remain until the end’ (and there really are only two short paragraphs in the book left after this!), and describing the heavy rain that starts in those two paragraphs as ‘the heavens crying’ (so... the sadness of both the reader and the author?). Finishing a good book, whether as a writer or a reader, is indeed both a joyful and a sad event. Similarly, the detectives are all happy and inexplicably sad when Juku claims the case has been solved. (There’s an echo of this theme even in Jorge Joestar, when with mere 15 pages left until the end of the book Jorge cries because ‘this adventure’s almost over’.)

I love the reccurring existential theme having to do with being a fictional character. It wasn’t as in-your-face as in Tsukumojuku, but it was there. While I skipped that in recaps, one of the locked room stories features a delusional man who believes he’s just a character in a novel. While scary, this belief is somewhat comforting too, and he notes it’d be nice to have a role to fulfill; to die with the sense you achieved all that you were meant to do, that The Author loved and appreciated you for who you were, and that you’re going to live eternally through a novel. (Jorge Joestar has Tsukumojuku mention how having a role to fulfill under Beyond’s care gave him comfort -- same thing, really.) But the character understands that all stories will eventually undergo destruction, and dreads it. Of course, the final message of the book, strengthened by the final events (the cult’s failure, Shiranui dying right after Juku’s birthday, and even --the book itself ending--), is that we have to accept that nothing can last forever, and the old will be replaced by the new, stories included.

When Juku and Yasha revealed the culprit’s initials, I honestly thought that he’d turn out to be the author, and the reason why they got different initials was that Juku saw the pen name (Seiryoin Ryusui) and Yasha the real name (Kanai Hidetaka). Since Yasha seemed shocked that Juku said ‘S’, I thought it meant that Yasha saw a full name but neither of the initials was ‘S’. I also thought Otohime’s advice -- to ‘look at the events from a distance’, to ‘withdraw yourself from events’ -- actually meant you have to look at the story from a distance... that is, lean back and look at the book you’re holding, which has the author’s name on the cover. Later, the sudden fourth wall break during the press conference scene, with the author prompting the reader to think carefully about who the Locked Room Lord may be, and writing his signature right under that question, only made me more sure. And there were a bunch of scenes before the Big Reveal in which other JDC characters reacted to the solution with feeling as if their world was destroyed, or getting drunk, or stressing out rather hard, so I expected they got hit with existential crisis upon learning The Truth, and that Juku will just go full meta and say that the culprit is the author: the one who really designed and 'committed’ the murders. Though with the book ending as it did, it’s not a stretch to say that Seiryoin really IS confirmed to be the true Locked Room Lord. In a way.

Other random comments:

This book is positively untranslatable. It features stuff like extensive kanji wordplays; messages in Caesar cipher but using the dictionary order of hiragana; deciphering a number as if it was an old-fashioned pager message; or reading the final message by putting the first syllable of the last kanji of the victims’ names together. And that damn Matsuo Bashou pun. All the name puns, really.

The language is rather hard, definitely harder than Maijo’s works. I think I’ll take some time to get better Japanese skills before going for Joker. (The JDC book I expect to enjoy the most is The Simons’ Case, though -- young Ajiro dadding over solving a case with kid Juku sounds amazing, and it’s a lot of fans’ fave)

For some reason, the main characters sure like to have the ‘castle’ kanji (城) in their names, like 鴉城 蒼司 (Ajiro Souji), 龍宮 城之介 (Ryuuguu Jounosuke), and  天城 漂馬 (Amagi Hyouma). ...I can’t help but notice that a certain 城字 ジョースター (Jouji/Jorge Joestar) would fit right in, lol. He pretty much is a meta-detective already, what with all the confidence and insight he gets from his Beyond.

I live for Ajiro’s and Juku’s relations. LOVE this stressed detective dad being proud of his ridiculously kind detective son.

Unexpectedly I also loved the friendship between Juku and Yasha. (With added tears because, y’know. Inugami Yasha. Investigating with Tsukumo Juku. Being friends and stuff.)

I like Ryuuguu Jounosuke quite a lot, both because of his character / reasoning skills, and because he’s as canonically aroace as he can be in a 90s book. not that you’d know that with all the Hikimiya/Ryuuguu yaoi fanart on pixiv

Unfortunately, I can’t praise Seiryoin for good rep as he’s miserable with other representation. The locked room chapters feature the depraved rapist bisexual trope, then a Bury Your Lesbians trope, and then this weird thing where a young guy has a gay crush and concludes that he must have become gay because he was abused by his mother (???)... but as it later turns out, in reality (ie. not in the manuscript) the object of the crush was a woman, so the gay part didn’t even happen. The fuq? Also there’s a one-scene-only black woman officer who’s only there so we can be told how physically strong and intimidating she is and I’m not sure how I should feel about that. I’m also pissed off that when a male detective uses vague reasoning out of nowhere, more a supernatural feeling than anything else, he gets called a meta-detective and is oh ah so elite and amazing!, but when Nemu does it it gets called ‘woman’s intuition’ and ‘fuzzy reasoning’ and she’s not considered a meta-detective, fucking really? (Maybe it is a little different, idk, she wasn’t detectiving a lot in this so we didn’t really see what she’s capable of)

On the other hand, I liked that the way Juku encouraged Nemu to become a detective involved using his connections to arrange meetings with other disabled detectives, so she could talk frankly with them and get a feel for how high-tier detectiving while disabled (esp. in terms of sight-related disabilities) is like. That’s a nice detail.

Speaking of him... Tsukumo Juku is pretty Mary Sue-ish in this, which I don’t mind (and I would be more surprised if it didn’t turn out to be intentional later), but I can imagine other readers not really liking him that much. I’ve read that Juku unfortunately doesn’t really get deeper characterization until the Carnival books, where we learn fun little stuff about him, eg. he’s horrible at cooking, and his ringtone is the opening for Manga Nippon Mukashi Banashi (an old anime introducing little kids to folktales). (I’m wondering whether or not the Kintaro thing in Jorge Joestar is related to this somehow? I don’t have many spoilers for Carnival, maybe there’s more folktales references... aside from the Ryuuguu family’s names referencing Urashima Taro, that is. And now I wonder why Jorge gets a folktale-related kids song stuck in his head so easily hmmm)

It was never explained who sent the manuscript to JDC. So far, judging by the scene with the beautiful androgynous person at the post office, and retroactively by the entire Story-sending mess in Tsukumojuku, I’d say it was Juku himself, somehow. A time-travelling Juku from the future, maybe? I don’t know anymore, man, but I’ve read that previous cases of the series come together in Carnival, so here’s hoping it gets explained better than as “a ghost did it maybe”.

For the longest time I kept wondering where the personality dissonance between this Juku and the Detective God in Tsukumojuku came from. Why would this ever gentle, kind and forgiving character be written as some vore murderer monster dude? So, here’s my current Reaching Theory TM. We know the Detective God really is ‘an Angel’ as he claimed, since in the Seventh Story, Tsukumojuku realizes that he himself is actually not ‘the Angel’ but ‘the Beast’ (he thinks about it during that, er... awkward chest pipe moment, if you remember). Now, canon Juku actually is compared to ‘an angel or a god’ in Cosmic, and it’s a good descriptor: he’s kind and forgiving, but has the sorta detached, not-quite-human air; he’s androgynous, unnervingly perfectly beautiful, and one shouldn’t look directly at him for too long. The Detective God, on the other hand, is an Angel in the same way those demons from Jacob’s Ladder are: only when you stop holding onto mortal life (the imaginary world in Beyonds’ case) and accept your death (accept you have to go ‘outside’), you may notice they’re actually angels who have been trying to help you realize the truth. Through brutal means, but still. I guess the Detective God was created by the part of the Beyonds’ subconscious that understands they have to accept the reality, or something. He’s a bit like Silent Hill monsters in this way. Note that the person the Detective God mainly attacks (and possibly talks with him off-screen earlier) is the Original. And the Story it happens in, Fourth (II), is the point after which the Original probably started thinking about the plan involving killing everything they hold dear to make them face reality. It was really Detective God who first made the Original and the Second One aware of ‘God’ -- even if indirectly: getting them to think about ‘God’ by making them refute the claim that Seiryoin is their God, getting them to think about what the presence of ‘the canon Tsukumo Juku’ before them means for their own existence. Or Maijo just likes to write hard vore and i’m thinking too much

[alexandrabracken]

A little bit more about the Special Edition short stories...

Hi guys! I hope your holidays were wonderful! I haven’t been around much, as I’ve been trying to figure out a social media strategy that helps me stay in touch with everyone but also preserves some balance in my life. Stepping away from social to work on TDL really helped my emotional and mental health, but I don’t want to disappear on you completely as I’ve always really loved chatting with you guys over here. You might hear from me a little less on Tumblr and Twitter especially, but I’ll still be checking in with updates and tidbits—like today! Since I’m no longer taking Asks and I don’t have as many opportunities to get into talking about the story behind the stories as I used to, I wanted to share a little bit more about the short stories in the special editions before they hit bookshelves on January 2nd. These are a bit spoiler-y as they get into what ideas or questions I wanted to focus on in each story, so you might want to come back and read this after reading the stories if you hate spoilers. Or, maybe they’ll help you decide if you want to read them? In any case, putting them under a cut…

TDM/Cole + Liam: My mini playlist for Liam and Cole’s story is called “The Boys” which is how I think of this one in my mind. The story is designed to answer a few questions that I couldn’t truly get to in the series, at least not in a meaningful way. The biggest of those questions being why the dynamic between Liam, Cole, and Harry is so complicated, and why Cole and Harry had their falling out. I jokingly told my editor that there were some East of Eden vibes to this one, which maybe isn’t completely off. Another question I wanted to tackle was why Liam was SO anti-Children’s League in TDM/NF, even though you could argue that the organization operates in a morally gray area versus being all-out bad (at least as far as they know). It was really interesting to get to explore the League in its infancy and compare it to the more established, more disciplined League we see later. Liam and Cole kill me because they love each other so much but it’s like they operate on two different frequencies. I have a relationship like this in my life, and while sometimes it clicks and is wonderful, other times it allows for hurt feelings and misunderstandings. Liam and Harry have such similar dispositions, and Cole saw himself as the protector of their family from a young age, and his own secret—and fear of his family’s rejection—tears him up inside. You might remember that this story was originally centered on the Betty crew in the days leading up to when they crossed paths with Ruby; ultimately, this felt like a bigger emotional story and it gave me the opportunity to write a bit more about Cole. I think you’ll find a different Liam and Cole here than you’re used to—I would describe them both as being very raw.

NF/Vida: Vida’s story, in a way, serves as a parallel to an aspect of In Time. Specifically, the horrible choices that people are asked to make in times of great economic and social strife. The central question of In Time is “Why would someone ever become a skip tracer and hunt kids?” whereas here it’s “What circumstances would prompt one sister to turn her younger sister into the PSFs?”  Fear and desperation are two of the most powerful human emotions/motivations, and it can drive people to do things they might never be capable of otherwise. In fact, fear and desperation are THE two primary forces in TDM world, especially at the beginning of the IAAN crisis. I’d never written anything set during that first year where everything truly went to shit in American and people of all walks of life were suddenly without their kids, homes, money, and jobs. Just after the big collapse is suffering, hopelessness, boredom, and anger that has no place to go. With the exception of one person in this story, no one is wholly good or bad, they’re just messy humans surviving the only way(s) they know how. All of it was interesting to portray through the eyes of a twelve-year-old only at the edge of really understanding what’s happening in the world. One important thread in Vida’s story is way the world fails young women and girls—especially young WoC—asking more of them just to survive and often leaving them incredibly vulnerable. In this instance, leaving them vulnerable to the manipulations of predators presenting themselves as the only option for “safety,” and vulnerable to the self-serving ringleaders offering “stability” that come to fill the void left behind by the collapse of orderly systems. I started off this story as angry as Vida was about her sister in NF/ITA and ended up feeling sympathetic to Nadia, who, at sixteen, has had waaaaay more thrown at her by life than anyone ever should and hit a breaking point. Vida thinks she’s wise to the world, and in some ways she is… but her age and relative innocence at times prevents her from seeing what the rest of us can about why Nadia feels she has to make certain hard, awful choices in an attempt stabilize their impossible situation. I’m a lot less certain than Vida is about what actually happened, and I’m curious to hear where you guys land on that front.

ITA/Clancy: As for Clancy’s story… the first thing I want to stress is that this is in no way a redemption story, because, let’s face it, Clancy doesn’t want to be redeemed—Clancy wants revenge. He wants to fill that bottomless hole that exists in his soul, without ever stopping to examine the reasons that hole is there and how he might do the work of mending it. It’s not even a justification for why he does what he does throughout the series; there’s no justification for most of it. I don’t want to tell you more about the plot itself because it spoils the story’s framework, which I hope will surprise you. To be a little vague, if Liam’s story is centered on love, and Vida’s on fear, Clancy’s is really a story about anger. How poisonous it is, how it festers and builds over time, and how there’s no easy end to it. Throughout the series, Clancy’s primary goal is revenge against his father, and this story goes deeper into the why behind that and gives you a little more about President Gray himself. While I do believe our pasts play a part in shaping us—especially how we relate to others—the choices that we make every day are ultimately what define us. One of my favorite things about the original trilogy is how Ruby and Clancy foil each other. They both have tragedy and suffering in their past, they both have every reason to be angry, but Ruby chooses to use her powers one way, and Clancy chooses to use his in a very different way, and that ultimately sets them on two very different paths. Interestingly (to me at least!), this was the one short story I was thinking about the most while working on The Darkest Legacy. There ended up being an unexpected parallel in Zu and Clancy’s stories…

[megamanxfanfics]

Did the Risk pay off?

Did you enjoy my little April Fool’s Joke? Did anyone even notice it??

Sorry about that. It’s not usually like me to joke like that, but the reason I did so was because its probably the last time I’d have the opportunity to ever pull an April Fool’s Prank about this project again.  That is to say, I am very confident that by next April Fool’s Day - 2022, I’ll be long done with Season VI.

It’s a little sad to say that, but mostly triumphant on my end. There was a little truth in that 4/1 post. I Did go on a Marvel bend and rewatch the entire MCU for funzies, and I was taking a long ass time on getting out Ep. 13, but believe me. I wasn’t over or burnt out from X at all.  I just needed a little time to figure out how to execute what I wanted to do properly.  I’m mostly satisfied with the turnout. =D

For those of you who haven’t read S. VI - Ep. 13 yet, I highly suggest you do so, because there will be Massive Spoilers ahead.  Since the tail end of Ep. 11, I set X up for a risky fanficky side-adventure.  And now that I’ve committed to it and it’s officially out there, the only question that’s left to ask is... Did the risk pay off??

First, I guess I should admit that my planning for the 2nd Arc was always hazy, even after finishing up Ep. 7, when X defeated the Nightmare Zero.

I knew in Ep. 8, we were going to have a lot of Zero getting reacquainted with the gang and that I was going to have to resolve the plot hole of X5′s Bad Ending, lining up with the way he acts in X6 - as a Zero fanboy.  So the returning Memory thing factored in big time.

Ep. 9 was Zero’s first mission out while X recovered.  My plan was to always have X get in that portal and face Dynamo.  But what would come after was a giant mystery to me.  

I didn’t want X to keep bumping into to Dynamo every time he got in a portal.  And I also didn’t want him to keep bumping into High Max either.  All of High Max’s dialogue and interactions thus far indicated that he wants X dead, and based off of the rules I set up for the Portal Dimensions, X couldn’t just leave in the middle of a fight.  That’s also not his style.

So in a way, I kind of wrote myself into a hole.  I’d either have to end High Max early, (which I didn’t want to do), or I’d have to get creative.

Then something clicked out of nowhere.  Something that could be very Nostalgic and Special, but would it work??  When X gets to the Fire Portal, he could face a Nightmare Vile from X1.  Then in the next portals, he could face Nightmare versions of his other bullies from the rest of the games. X2 - Violen & Agile, X3 - Bit & Byte, X4 - Double...  It could be great!  But what purpose would it serve other than Fan Service?

It’s a great question that I’m still asking, but ultimately - my alternative was to have X face High Max prematurely and lose [where it would be very hard to have High Max spare him.] Or to have X prematurely defeat High Max, which again I really didn’t want to do.  And Dynamo was way too injured to just keep taking beatings from X.  That’d get very boring and annoying very fast.

So I went for it.  It took 2 episodes to get there, but in Ep. 11 X took on Nightmare Vile...  And honestly, I thought it was great!  While he was doing that, Zero was facing Blaze Phoenix, which was equally exciting to me.

Honestly, in Ep. 12, I wanted to get right to it and call that one Nightmare Lane, but X & Zero needed to recover and I already had planned on them talking everything out, which I was putting off again and again.  That episode named itself once their conversation about X5′s encounter in Antarctica really got going.  I also really kinda loved that ending with X’s failure in the Inami Temple portal.

This set us up for Ep. 13, which I wanted to be an Action-Packed showstopper. So that was the plan all along for this episode, once I committed to the Nostalgic Nightmare idea.  My goal was for X to get to Double, and I made it there. It worked out.  But this is admittedly a very dense chapter.

Part of the point of these Nostalgic Nightmares is to show X’s growth after all this time.  He’s been whining and complaining this whole time about how the Nightmare is too tough, but guess what? He’s already so much stronger than he ever was to previous threats like Vile, the X-Hunters, the Nightmare Police & Double.  I felt like this could be a much-needed confidence booster for him, but also serve as a dual purpose for the bad guys to wear him down, psychologically.  Any excuse I can have to make the villains banter, I’ll also take.  I really like how this is all build up to Metal Shark, but will it pay off is the question?  Will I be able to stick that landing?  Time will tell.

I'm looking forward to writing Ep. 14. Honestly, I wanted to have a whole fight with Double and then some aftermath planned as the true closer to Ep. 13, but upon rereading, it was already dense enough.  [Frankly, it probably could’ve ended when Zero was about to set off to the North Pole Area, but that’s fine.]

Also, I really surprised myself with how good X’s meet up with Phantom was. [His Rescue Reploid name in the game was the ONLY reason for these MMZ Easter eggs.] But now I’m so happy that I’ve been including them, because I’m feeling a bigger picture coming about for when I end this Season.

Levy was just this flirty inclusion to spice up the Alia & X dialogue at first. Anything else with her would be a bonus. Fef became a very necessary device to keep Hal & Kassy safe, while they’ve been stranded in the Magma Area for so long.  Making him a junkie derelict was an interesting choice too. And of course, Phantom was in the Portal at the Central Museum revisit.  I always had this vague sense in my mind that X was going to have a very harrowing rescue mission that kept failing at every revisit, but then he’d bump into Phantom who was holding his own and he’d get this giant sense of hope. Boom. Grainy Effect. Episode ending right there on Phantom.

But of course, in execution that couldn’t happen with the rest that I had planned and that’s fine.  Still, I was surprised at their dialogue with each other. Phantom was really impressive and cool.  Just the premise of this exhausted warrior, whose resigned himself to protecting himself for days, only to bump into X and consider him a fool for getting stuck here with him.

But no. Now, Double has entered the Portal.  And X knows there’s a way out.

[I also never thought about the fact that Phantom would be stuck in the room with him during the fight, so now I’ve got some thinking to do.] lol

Harpy’s save will be next and I don’t mind spoiling that he’ll be in the Recycle Area.  [I did my best to keep to their elements, but the X6 stages didn’t really lend for that.]

Phantom was always gonna be in the Central Museum, because that is game-dictated. Levy could’ve been in the North Pole, I suppose, but the Inami Temple is ridden with females, so it made the most sense to me to make that her domain. Fef being in the Magma Area was spot on. I love that it was his old hangout spot - Dark Haven.  So teen-angsty/broody.

Harpy being in the Recycle Lab is kind of just a circumstance thing, but we’ll talk about it when we get there.

I wanted to go over the writing process to this one, but this is already getting quite lengthy.  I guess I can say that it was straight forward, writing through X’s battle against Violen & Agile. I always wanted Isoc to come in right after, to give us the hint that he’s Serges 2.0. But then, that revisit to the Amazon Area got draggy...  I did my best, but I had to make cuts.  I liked what I did once he got in the portal. His refight with Bit & Byte was pretty cool.  Bringing Marty into it was a fun choice. I did like, how X got his moment of catharsis after all.  [I know there’s a real lost-opportunity with not including iX, but honestly that’d be too much.  If I ever write iX again, I think it’s best if I save him for the Mega Missions series.]

This thing fell apart when I got to the Central Museum revisit. I didn’t want to write that at all... In my script, I had marks at the bottom of the doc for what he’d say in the other totems IF he revisited.  And here we weeeeere.   Yet again, I was in the same position as last year at this time, when I wrote out Ep. 3.  I handled it better, then!  Playing over and over again to find right parts of the stage I wanted to write was annoying.  I bet I missed out on Rescue Reploids too, or Zombie Reploids at this point, but it’s fine.  It’s been so long, they probably just died.  I could always edit that in post, that X passes a bunch of dead bodies.  That’d make for some spooky atmosphere.

At this point, I re-analyzed the entire chapter and decided it was high-time for Zero to wake up and go about his original directives.  Time to add to the layers. It brought parts to life, for sure.  It even cemented other transitions, which was really cool.  I liked that I gave Douglas something else to do other than just, be there...

Once I was actually writing Zero’s stage, it did start to feel like a different episode, but I had a goal to reach and damn it, I was gonna get there! lol What’s good about this is that it moves Zero along in the stage without it being a real pain in the ass.

And that basically takes us to where the episode left off.

For the broken Central Museum part, I wrote X’s interactions with Phantom first. Then, with every Totem, I caught up to it as I could.  Once the Zero layering came about, things pieced together.  Same goes for any extra Villain narrations. The episode definitely started a certain way, and I wanted to keep that up as much as possible.  While also having Alia commentary, when appropriate and necessary.

I like this one. There’s a decent balance amidst all the nonsense I set up for myself.  And I definitely think that all these Portal Revisits are more interesting for X’s Nostalgic Nightmare encounters.  It spins the premise around that they didn’t just create a Nightmare Zero, but also a Nightmare Vile, a Nightmare Violen, a Nightmare Bit, a Nightmare Byte and now a Nightmare Double.  The possibilities are endless.

Yes, X’s mission is a complete side-quest, but guess what?  It makes you think that if he didn’t do this, the Nightmare would be that much worse for everyone later, down the road.  It’s Preventative Action.  It’s pretty neat.

Also, again - every Investigator thus far has been relatively good, but mislead in thinking that X was the enemy.  So once he’d explain it to them, they'd be at a standstill, and pretty much at a loss for motivation.  Go figure that Zero actually battles the evil ones with Infinity Flea and Blaze Phoenix.  But he’ll get a real taste for the good/mislead dilemma soon enough with Blizzard Wolfang.

Then we’ll see how I handle Metal Shark when I get there.  I’m looking forward to it.  I can’t believe I’m almost up to the 3rd Arc already!

But that’s exactly what I was getting at at the beginning of this rant.  This is definitely gonna be my last Season.  [Unless we get an X9 that suddenly ends all cliffhangers.] So with that said, I think the Nostalgic throwback was the right thing to do.  Show us that growth and remind us of where he’s been in a short time span, before we end things proper in MMX’s final season.

I’m getting misty eyed thinking about it already. =P

I’ll see you next time for Episode 14.

[climate-bison]

Rating the Assassin’s Creed games

I often to rank the assassin’s creed series in my head but I thought it would be fun to write it down for a change. I’ll start with the games I like the least and move towards my favorite games in the series. Please note that if you disagree that’s totally cool, I’m not judging! We all have different opinions. I haven’t played all the games so I list them first. Some spoilers but I try to be as vague as possible!

Games that I won’t be including: all AC on the Nintendo DS, AC Unity (on my list to play), AC Origins (also want to play), AC Vahalla (I’m currently playing but I’m not far enough along to rate it, although I like it a lot so far), AC liberation, and any non main series games

9th place: Assassin’s creed 1. I disliked this game a lot. The gameplay was repetitive, the stealth was annoying, the combat was clunky, and it crashed often. I only made it through about 80% of the main story before the game crashed and destroyed my saves, and I didn’t want to replay the rest of it. Altair wasn’t a character I connected to very much, which isn’t a huge negative, not all characters will work for all people, but it is why this game is at the bottom of the list. 2/10

8th place:  Assassin’s creed Revelations. This game is leaps and bounds better than AC 1, but it still falls short for me. I disliked the environment because I found it difficult to see things and the minimap was nearly useless. Combat was okay, not great but it was faster. I also disliked the random people who would try to murder you. The story wasn’t very interesting to me, I was really sick of Ezio by then. I did enjoy the conflict that Desmond had with his past lives and the conclusion with Lucy. 5/10

7th place: Assassin’s creed Rogue. This game is difficult for me. I love the location, I’m Canadian so I’m kinda a sucker for Atlantic Canada. But god I hate the story. It is so lazy and short. Also sometimes they will play story mission dialoge when you are trying to explore the world and it gets really annoying hearing the same shit over and over again. I hated killing some of characters we had grown to love in the previous game. The sailing is fun, just like Blackflag. I enjoyed seeing Haytham again. I didn’t like Shay, his stubbornness drove me insane. 5/10

6th place: Assassin’s creed 2: This was the game that started me in the series. I had played a little blackflag, but I just sailed around while playing on my cousin’s save so no missions or anything. This game though was the first one I played through. The downsides of the game were that it gets pretty repetitive as you go along. Everyone is gonna disagree with me here but I didn’t really relate to Ezio. I liked him more than Altair, and way more than Shay, but I still found him kind of dull. I can appreciate his character growth/change throughout the series, he def. becomes more likable over time. 6/10 (prob because of nostalgia) 

5th place: AC Brotherhood. This game def improves on the last. The map is very interesting to explore and I enjoyed taking “outposts” (not sure if they are called that). I’m glad that they addressed one of the issues I had with AC2 in this one, being the ending *spoilers* where Ezio doesn’t kill the big bad for no reason, like you’ll kill a bunch of grunts who haven’t really done anything wrong, but the guy orchastraing it all you won’t kill like why??? *end spoilers* This game is my sister’s favorite and I can see why. Lots of missions and the addition of optional objectives make even more content to explore. 7/10

4th place: AC 4 Blackflag. Now we are getting into the top tier games (in my opinion). I loved this game. I like Edward a lot, he was a really strong character with heavy moral greyness that I enjoyed. He also got a lot of development, going from a money hungry pirate to a respectable and true assassin. This game improved on the sailing from AC 3 by huge strides. The environment was very pretty. Upgrading and customizing the ship was cool as well. I didn’t enjoy the underwater sections though, that being one of the downsides. Sleep and beserk darts were very entertaining and useful for stealth. 8.5/10

3rd place: AC Syndicate. Great game. I loved being able to play as a woman for once, even if the majority of story missions are for Jacob. Customization of weapons and outfits was cool, along with the perk upgrade system. Combat became far more interesting in this game, and less of mashing x until everyone is dead. I loved the environment, industrial London was super cool to look at and explore. I enjoyed the child liberation missions and gang outpost missions.  Going forward in time to WW2 was pretty cool as well, and makes me hopeful that they will make a game in a more near history, though I doubt it with the most recent games seeming to stay in the more distant past. Being able to crouch on command was great, I like playing stealthy so not having to find a bush to crouch was helpful. The final assassination/boss battle was a little weird but I didn’t hate it. Evie and Jacob were both really interesting characters, though I related more to Evie with her more cautious and thoughtful approach to things. I was also kind of a sucker for the romance between her and Henry Green. Their romance through the flower collecting quest was super sweet. 9/10

2nd place: AC Odyssey. I loved this game. I’ve played this game now three times and each time I’ve fallen more in love. I played as Kassandra both because I’m a woman and I like to play as a woman, but also because I find Alexios’ character model terrifying. The environment was beautiful. The finding her family story was great and compelling. Having mult. endings was a good touch with being able to decide what to say and do, it made the choices feel meaning full. Character customization was great, I was able to make the stealthy rogue/archer character of my dreams, all while carrying around a trident for when stealth fails and enemies close the gap. Also love the romance options, I’m gay so being able to date woman in a game while playing as a woman allows me to live vicariously through the character. Loved the number of sidequests, ie countless. I also enjoyed the overpowered god feeling that character had for 90% of the game. 10/10

And in first place on the list and in my heart: AC 3. This game is a masterpiece. The location and differing weather effects were cool. It was actually difficult to move through the thick snow. The twist with the character swap a quarter of the way through the game was crazy. Connor was and continues to be my favorite character in the franchise. He goes through so much, but continues on, continues to fight for his people because no one else will. If not him then who? Haytham was an interesting character and replaying it you can see some of the dark sides in his personality from the start and the twist remains believable but still surprising. Some people say that it glorifies the American side of the revolutionary war, but I disagree. We see multiple times that neither side of the war is truly good or bad, because nothing is true. At the end of game the Americans are celebrating the victory (the first 4th of July actually) and we see Connor looking over to a stage where some Black people are being sold as slaves. Shaun has some interesting commentary about how people use the founding fathers as sort of divine figures but that they were nothing but men. Men who did bad things, like owning slaves. The parallels with Connor and Haytham and Desmond and his father were also interesting. It was good to see Desmond resolve his differences with his dad before the ending of the game. I enjoyed the homestead part of the game (something I am also enjoying in AC Valhalla) because it allows for character growth. We get to see Connor enjoying his life and making friends. I was really glad to read that he ended up getting married and having children in his later life, contrary to what was being said about him dying young, sad, and alone. The game isn’t perfect (CONNOR GET BACK ON THE HORSE) but its a game that I will love for the rest of my life. 11/10

So that’s my rankings. Super long post I know. If you got this far, thanks for reading! I leave you with a quote from my favorite assassin, Connor.

“Sometimes standing against evil is more important that defeating it. The heroes stand because it right to do so, not because they believe they will walk away with their lives.”

[just0nemorepage]

Eona: The Last Dragoneye || Alison Goodman || Eon #2 || 637 pages ----------------------------------------------------------------- Top 3 Genres: Fantasy / Young Adult / Dragons

Synopsis: Eon has been revealed as Eona, the first female Dragoneye in hundreds of years. Along with fellow rebels Ryko and Lady Dela, she is on the run from High Lord Sethon's army. The renegades are on a quest for the black folio, stolen by the drug-riddled Dillon; they must also find Kygo, the young Pearl Emperor, who needs Eona's power and the black folio if he is to wrest back his throne from the selfstyled "Emperor" Sethon. Through it all, Eona must come to terms with her new Dragoneye identity and power - and learn to bear the anguish of the ten dragons whose Dragoneyes were murdered. As they focus their power through her, she becomes a dangerous conduit for their plans...

Finished: December 2nd, 2017.

Progress: 10 / 50. 20% complete.

My Rating: ★★★☆☆. [3/5]

My Review: [Under the read more - NOT SPOILER FREE]

Okay, so I finished this book a lot faster than I thought I would. The first half dragged on for the longest time, but after I passed the halfway point I had a legitimate hard time putting it down.

And, I have to give it some credit. There were a lot of things that had been done well, like the existence of a transgender character who was always properly gendered (that one is HUGE), Eona's character development, the myriad of different powerful female characters, how attached you got to all the characters by the end, and the world itself, with how detailed and developed and flushed out it was.

But there are several things I take issue with. Such as: the existence of a love triangle, because of course there was (and it annoys me but I actually kind of enjoyed it). Eona being the only female Dragoneye and the only one with healing powers, because of course she is. Ido's revelation to still be evil and not having ever changed at the end – I DEEPLY disagree with how that was handled. Eona's chronic lying and never really facing true consequences for it. Eona's attitude that to be disabled can never, ever possibly be anything other than shameful, so of course all disabled people would want to be healed. (e.g. "fixing" her own leg, and "fixing" Chart's body without his permission on the assumption that "of course he'd want to be healed, why wouldn't he." Like, yes, in this society, disabled or disfigured people are treated lower than dirt, but so are women, and to assume anyone disabled would naturally want to "be healed and made whole" would be like assuming anyone female would naturally want to "be healed and made male." It's a matter of identity, and it doesn't work that way.) How Ido's character and development was handled. Yes I know I already mentioned that one – that PISSED me off. There was no reason why he'd just revert back to his old, cruel, evil self. He was going from a character with an excellent, delightfully messy redemption arc, to HAH NOPE nvm back to who I was before. It'd be like if Zuko in ATLA decided at the last minute to go back to being evil. YEAH NO.

There are other things that also did not sit well with me but I can't remember them right now.

I am so, so torn though on how I feel about Ido and Eona's relationship. In the first book, Ido tried to rape Eona. So YEP that settles how I feel about a character pretty damn fast. But here, he became part of a love triangle – and it was well handled and felt real and exactly how it would have been done after such an act was attempted and I truly do not know how to feel about it.

I do kind of like how the book ended so abruptly and vaguely though. It doesn't end all neatly and there's only a kind of happy ending, and the rest is left up to your imagination.

That reminds me though – I'm confused about how there can be a literal army of thousands loyal to your enemy surrounding you on a small platform, and you can strike back against and kill the leader and his top men on this small platform with NOBODY RETALIATING. Maybe they were under strict orders not to interfere? ?? ???? I really have no idea. It did not make sense how they got away with what they did at the very end.

Or how they could hope to leave the platform without getting completely shanked by the enemy's army. The book ended before that could happen.

So I mean. I still kind of like how the book ended so vaguely. But at the same time – I AM ANNOYED.

Overall, I don't feel like this series was a waste of time to read. It was interesting, unique, and kept me going enough to actually finish the books and still walk away with a generally positive opinion. But, there are definitely better books to read and stories to pursue (for example: Avatar the Last Airbender and The Legend of Korra, if you're looking for an Asian fantasy world), which I would recommend for ages before we would get to this one.

It's not a waste of time. But that time would still be better spent pursuing something else with fewer flaws and loopholes.

[izzyizumi]

Digimon Adventure(s) x 02 x tri AMV ~ x Kagerou Project “ OUTER SCIENCE ” AMV [ music ( C ) Jin, singer: IA / Vocaloid ] featuring CHARACTERS / IMPLIED: KOUSHIRO(U) IZUMI + TAICHI YAGAMI (w/bonus background Taishiro) + the rest of the main 8 Adventure Chosen + DIGIMON ADVENTURES VILLAINS ENSEMBLE ( this amv initially completed on January 11, 2019 )

PAST AMVS / VIDEO EDITS IN THIS SERIES: Kagerou Daze (Heat-Haze Daze) / Children Record / RED / Additional Memory and Imaginary Reload music edits for KageDaze / Days (short edit) / Lost Time Memory / Yesterday Evening / Summertime Record / Shounen Brave ( * It’s ok to start on/only watch this current AMV “ Outer Science ” ! ) [ *You may understand the story/implied timeline of things better if you begin from “Kagerou Daze” though it’s also not required! “Children Record” is also recommended as a starting point/upbeat song! ]

- part of my Taishiro [Taichi x Koushiro] REPEAT?_ ficverse (please note any and all notes/trigger warnings for said ficverse!!) [seriously, please note the warnings, the plot is kinda heavy] (please note any and all warnings for Kage-pro’s plot too if you look into that!!) - no, it’s NOT a direct parody (but v[ERY] inspired) (if you can’t tell) - WATCH THIS IN HIGH DEFINITION ( click the ‘HD’ / 1080p on the player !! )

- THIS IS AKA " NIGHTMARE FUEL: THE SONG " - IMPLIED PSUEDO CHARACTER-DEATHS ABOUND BUT TAKE CAUTION - SCENES USED AKA: " DIGIMON ADVENTURES WAS ALWAYS NIGHTMARE FUEL " - IF YOU THOUGHT OTHERWISE YOU WERE FOOLING YOURSELVES

- DIGIMON 02 IS HERE - TRI IS HERE ( SPOILERS THROUGH TO “BOKURA NO MIRAI” END ) - PIE(D)MON IS HERE ( VERY HERE ) - OH HI BACKGROUND DIABOROMON, MUGENDRAMON, DEVIMON, VAMDEMON [MYOTISMON], ETEMON ----- - THE REST ARE PROBABLY IN THE BACKGROUND TOO - HI DIGIMON KAISER ! KEN ICHIJOUJIIIIIIIIIII OH YOU’RE HERE TOO - HI NOT ! GENNAI WHOAAAAAA WHY IS HEEEEE HERE --------------

- AND THIS IS WHY YOU SHOULD NOT " REPEAT " DIGIMON ADVENTURE'S 1ST SERIES

- TOEI IS VERY MUCH NOT LISTENING TO ME RIGHT AT THIS MOMENT - OK THEY'RE ACTUALLY SUPPOSED TO ( M A Y B E ) HAVE A FIGHTING CHANCE - YOU MIGHT SEE THEM RESISTING - CAN THEY DO IT - WHO KNOWS - BUT I REALLY LIKE THEIR    FIGHTING SPIRIT - ( I’m bad at keeping spoilers vague ) - DO THE VILLAINS KNOW - DO THEY - D O T H E Y

- I'M STILL WORKING ON THIS ACTUALLY - THIS IS THE UNEDITED 1ST DRAFT - I MIGHT TRY TO FIT THE REST OF THE VILLAINS IN TOO - I also need to replace some small subbed scenes etc - might fix some transitions later and replace filler placement scenes

- " OK TBH WASN'T PUPPETMON THE ONE WITH THE-------- " - " ok no I'm not gonna go there " - “ MY VERSION IS NOWHERE NEAR THAT ----- ”

- DO NOT WATCH THE KAGEPROS ORIGINAL VERSION UNLESS YOU WANT TO SEE MUCH MORE GRUESOME IMPLIED “"DEATHS"” - DIGIMON ADVENTURES IS ACTUALLY SAFE IN COMPARISON

- Lyrics / Translations under the ‘ read more ’ !

LIVING A LIFE IN SLIGHT MISERY The dead are knocking on the door, aren't they? The small master cannot watch indifferently,

" It's an unpleasant story "

THROATS AND BODIES THAT SPLIT OPEN AND WIDEN

IN ORDER TO MELT

A DEAD HEART

Leisurely SWALLOWING UP LIFE

I GOUGE OUT EYES .....

HEY

YOU WISHED FOR IT TOO ,

DIDN'T YOU ?

AS YOU GLARED AT ME

THAT KIND OF TRAGIC SPIRIT IS

MY FAVORITE FOOD , YOU SEE ... [ 1ST CHORUS ]

WELCOME TO THE INTERIOR OF MY WOMB

THE ENDING PLACE for BOTH   LOVE AND EGO

EVEN YOU WILL SOON BE REBORN

INTO A MONSTER

WON'T IT BE FANTASTIC?

SAYING THINGS LIKE " AA, GOD, WHY "

CRYING, " I DON'T WANT THIS "

JUST ACCEPT IT , THIS IS YOUR FATE , AFTER ALL

LET'S TOIL AWAY for  THE NEXT, THE NEXT, THE NEXT   MASTER

MYTHS and LIVES and PEOPLE and FATE

... And even THOUGHTLESSLY , FALLING IN LOVE ...

THE SNAKES   LAUGH AT IT ALL   SILENTLY,

" SUCH IDIOTIC THINGS "

AAH, WHAT'S THIS, WHAT'S THIS, I CAN'T COLLECT ANY MORE

Can't lick up any more DARKENED SPIRITS

POSSESSING A SMALL LIFE

AAH, IT'S RESIDING IN YOU, IS IT NOT ?

THE POWER TO COMBINE THE EYES TOGETHER

YOU ARE THIS TRAGEDY'S " QUEEN " [ 2ND CHORUS ]

ENJOY IT , THIS LIFE OF YOURS !

WEAVING TOGETHER LOVE AND EGOISM

THE SWAYING DAYS are BEGINNING TO CRUMBLE

MATCHING OUR STEP to THE "FIRST TRAGEDY"

LAMENTING, " RETURN IT "

SOBBING, " I DON'T WANT THIS "

DO YOU THINK I CARE ?

THIS IS YOUR FATE AFTER ALL !

THIS TERRIBLE, PETTY AND FRAGILE STORY

IS " THE REAL THING " , YOU SEE

[ POST-INSTRUMENTAL INTERLUDE ] YOU'RE SUCH AN IDIOTIC EXISTENCE, YOU KNOW ?

HOWEVER MANY TIMES   YOU KEEP OPPOSING

BUT IT'LL ALL GO BACK

TO THE SAME STORY

RECKLESSLY, CLUMSILY

CRYING, CRYING, CRYING, CRYING

AAH, WHAT AN UNSIGHTLY EXISTENCE

BUT BEFORE YOU ASK, " WHY ? "

YOU ASKED FOR TOO MUCH

AND NOW SERVE TO SIN

THE HOLLOW MIRACLE IS

BURSTING OPEN AND CRUMBLING

SAYING, " OH, IT'S STILL FINE ? "

NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES YOU JUST CRY

EVEN THE END

WILL FADE AWAY IMMEDIATELY

AND THE NEXT,

THE NEXT

THE NEXT

THE NEXT TIME IT COMES

THE NEXT, THE NEXT DAY

EVEN THE NEXT,

THE NEXT,

THE NEXT -

I'LL     LAUGH

original translation inspiration from one of the 1st subbed uploads here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Wg2OgJgSQ0 ^ THIS IS THE ORIGINAL KAGEPROS VERSION [ YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED IF YOU COMPARE / WATCH IT ]

redone/updated translation with Japanese lyrics for easier following from here: https://kagerouproject.fandom.com/wiki/Outer_Science ^ I basically combined both translations, using lines I felt fit better from the 1st and 2nd versions while comparing them to the Japanese lyrics * The last line is one I’ve also seen thrown around in other translations over the years!

- I’M SORRY

- I PROMISE THIS SERIES GETS BETTER

- WATCH THE OTHER AMVs ( PARTICULARLY “ SUMMERTIME RECORD ” )

- OK BUT YES TAKE CAUTION WITH THE KAGEPROS ORIGINAL

- IT’S A TIMELOOPS SERIES FOR A REASON

- I ALMOST DIDN’T POST THIS THING OUT OF FEAR MAYBE IT WAS A BIT TOO VILLAIN-Y .................................................

- OK BUT THE MUSIC IS REALLY COOL / CATCHY LOOK. LOOK. YOU HAVE TO ADMIT IT

* The lyrics are also HILARIOUSLY chuunibyou and others in the original fandom this song came from have described it as such too: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ch%C5%ABniby%C5%8D

- I MEAN - “ WELCOME TO THE INTERIOR OF MY WOMB ”

- THUS I WOULD LIKE TO THROW FORTH THE IDEA THAT NOT!GENNAI

- IS A CHUUNIBYOU-LIKE VILLAIN TYPE BECAUSE HE SEEMS - VERY VERY SIMILAR IDEK ...

- i’m sorry

- TOEI I STG YOU DO NOT WANT TO “ REPEAT ” DIGIMON ADVENTURE - YOU DO NOT WANT TO YOU DO NOT . YOU DO NOT . YOU DO - NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT

[seenashwrite]

Hey! I was wondering if you could help me out a bit? I'm about to post a one shot, as I was wondering what I put st the top other then how many words and such? I'm just beginning to actually post stories and I want to get things right haha. Sorry if I'm disturbing you or anything!

Oh lovely @spookyphsyco - you have come to the right type-A advice-giver. And you have graciously made this about me, so that I don’t have to. [wink]

Legit apologias if any of what’s below the cut seems patronizing. I’ve tried to inject snark to make it an easier read. I also say sh*t, possibly other blah-blah of a potty-mouthed nature. 

Short version:

Status: Word Count: Category: Rating: Character(s): Pairing(s):Warnings: Author’s Note(s):Overall Summary:

Essentially I put what I like to see, with ever-so-slight, atypical tweaks. Long version/breakdown is after the jump. The ones with stars I think should be exactly where I put them, with the others shuffled however you’d prefer.

* Status:

Complete 

Part ___ of ____

for multi-parts (a.k.a., a mini-series) 

IMO, the ones around 2 or 3 parts; for me, it’s treading on “series” territory after 3

I just stick a ____ after “of” til I’m sure about how many parts

In-Progress 

could stick this after “part __ of ___” thought I find that redundant - this is definitely to be used for series, and which part you’re on should’ve already been noted above, a la “Title: Part __”  

* Word Count:  

I just round up the decimal point if it’s close to/over halfway to the next number, so…. 3,422 could be ”3.4K” or “3.5K”, whatever you like

If you put 3,422 it scares the shit out of people, even though that’ll maybe take 15 minutes to read. Maybe.

* Category: 

A.K.A. - what’s the genre?

The top ones you’ll see are “angst”, “fluff”, “smut”, “crack”, “real person fic/RP/RPF” - confusingly, I also see RPF = “role play fic - advise just type out “real person” and “role play”

I also see “series”, which, whatever - I’d prefer knowing that right off the bat at a glance, hence “status”, that’s up to your pref  

I mostly see Category kick off with either that, or something indicating what’s to come in terms of the life expectancy of your story line, followed with the above genres

Others by life expectancy would/could include:

drabble

imagine

request/”ask”

head canon

Side note: “cannon” = big boom, artillery-style; “canon” is short for canonical, a.k.a. - the official last word on fill-in-the-blank, so for us - the scripts/what we see on the show, Kripke, the writers, the actors, etc.

multi-part

one-shot

alternate universe/AU (which could branch into “AU: Historical”, “AU: Fantasy, “AU: Science Fiction”, etc.)

cross-over

Now, if it’s a cross-over that I want to be a surprise? I don’t mention the title of the movie/book/show If it doesn’t matter? Stick it in the Category (so “Crossover: Brooklyn 99″) plus it’ll also be made clear via the Character(s) category by listing them after the SPN peeps & before the O.C.

I personally don’t use those main five (see above, RE: anal-retentive stubborn mule) as they are too vague for my taste. 

When peeps pass my stuff along or in the rare instances they put me on a rec list, I couldn’t care less when they whip me under one of those or tag it as such, because that’s common parlance that I’m willfully eschewing. I sleep just fine on my fanfic pillow at night.

I use words like “behind-the-scenes canon-compliant”, “mystery”, “introspective”, “melancholia”, “friends-maybe-more”, “family”, “canon-compliant”, “friendship”, “adventure”, “humor”, “parody”, “spoof” - all [IMO] give a clearer idea without spoiling the plot

Special Nash Note regarding a specific pet peeve of mine that you can certainly take or leave, I won’t adore you any less:

Regarding Real Person Fic - the authors who disclaimer the tar out of these Wear. Me. Out. Just own it if you’re gonna do it, no caveats. I more-than-snark/borderline ranted about this here - surprisingly succinctly - should you want to see why

Take home: I find being really specific in your category helps keep your warnings/author’s notes blessedly tight & trimmed, more on that below. 

Rating: 

On this, I essentially use what I see around town, which is “Any”, “Teen & Up” and “18+” - or variations on this.

Nine outta ten, I’m going with “Teen & Up”, because I most always have dense, meaty plots or dry humor that require a fairly well-read person - I’m not being an asshole, it’s for their benefit. They’ll find it boring and/or too complex, it’s not their fault, they just haven’t had enough years on the planet to knock out a lot of books, y’know? 

Character(s): 

I list the not-mines first, and shut it down after maybe three or four, then cap it off with O.C. mention(s)

Sometimes I’ll do a parenthetical - like “Castiel (mentioned)” or “Crowley (briefly)” - because some people hate certain characters but love you or love the plot in general, so if they know someone they don’t like is only gonna be there vaguely, they’ll likely still give it a go

If there’s more - the minor not-yours or minor O.C.s - just put “various” at the end & and move on 

Also nice on multi-parters/series for you to only list the characters that appear in that specific post

I phrase the primary O.C.(s) like: “Female O.C./Reader/You”, something of that ilk.

Negates the need for “Reader Insert” in the categorization, because… well, it’s not how books are arranged online or in stores or in libraries. Perspectives [1st/2nd/3rd] are just that - perspectives - they aren’t genres.

Pairing(s): 

N/A if none, of course

This is one I am completely leaving up to you.

Having said that - dig through other folks’, see what tickles your fancy.

If you dig through mine - I think one I straight up said “Sam x Reader/Female O.C.” because it was an Ask, so the end result was pretty much out there, and on another I put something cheeky like “Endings are better when you don’t know what’s coming.”

And really, aren’t they?  Lookit, I figure if back on your Master Page/Master Post, you’re gonna end up categorizing them by “Angst” with sub-cats a la “Dean x Reader”, etc., may as well blow your wad from the get-go. 

Also remember this is coming from someone who keeps their O.C.s as vague as possible, so that anyone can imagine themselves in the character’s shoes. That’s for reader satisfaction. 

The selfish reason is because I want “Y/N” to die in a horrific fire where it is alive for >65% of the charring. It is so distracting. I’ve now digressed, tangent-style.

Warnings: 

Writing detailed canon? Or an AU that’s cribbing on canon? Whip a little “Spoilers up to Season _″ or what-have-you right out of the gate. 

Otherwise…. okay, biggest over-arching tip:

Things either ARE or they ARE NOT - refrain from going down a huge explanatory road here, a la “Could be considered this, but also could be looked at as that, and there’s sometimes….”

Oh. Sweet. Lord. Bring the chariots & take me now.

There’s a word for this, and it is “dubious”.  

So: “dubious non-consensual situation(s)”; “dubious incestual situation(s)”; etc. 

It’s the formal way of saying “YMMV”, a.k.a. “Your Mileage May Vary”.  I am likely not going to read into the threat of fill-in-the-blank if I’ve not experienced fill-in-the-blank. That’s why it is an “in the eye of the beholder” sort of jam - it’s open to interpretation….

…..but you gotta make sure it is - if Dean and Sam kiss each other with tongue, even once? That is incest. Not dubious. Nope. 

If there’s stuff possibly of concern that you’re not balls-out detailing, the tidy word for that is “allusion”. 

So: “allusion to past sexual trauma”; “allusion to past physical assault”; “allusion to sexual encounters”,etc.

On that last one: again, meaning off-handed comments about rolls-in-the-hay, not anything specific with vivid detailing.

Might want to tack “eventual” in front of these in certain circumstances - more on that in a sec. 

(PS: Writing tip? Shit in the past that made the characters who they are? Leave it there. Allude to it. Unless it is actually happening, no one caaaaaares - we only care about any ripple effects potentially impacting the current story.)

Language - again, things either ARE or they ARE NOT. 

I don’t care if it’s twice or every-other-piece-of-dialogue, or only in a couple of chapters - “mature language” or “coarse language”. Boom. You’re done. Covers cursing and dirty talk and the lot.

Sexy Times - yeah, it may say “smut” under your category/genre, but it doesn’t hurt to toss a clarification or two  

Some folks consider smut “he touched me here” and some folks don’t consider it smut til “he ran his tongue here”. 

I’d go with “graphic sex” or “explicit sex” if you have any wavering on the issue of what to put. But, again: it either is, or it isn’t - if it’s not allusion, then it’s graphic/explicit

Some folks tack on really, really, really specific facets here, where I think a parenthetical would do, and one that covers a gamut, so:

Graphic Sex (anal) this covers digital penetration & toys

Graphic Sex (multiple partners) this covers three-ways and four-ways and… and…. and….

Graphic Sex (kinks) this covers role-playing and toys and voyeurism and… and… and…

Side note: I have noticed that dog-in-heat genre - A/B/O, right? - is listed separately from kinks. Not my jam, so ya got me, I ain’t your gal to consult on this area

I’m not going on - you catch my drift. People who list every type of toy and kink baffle me. Cover the spread, move on, you can always put an asterisk and stick it below the “read more” to be as specific as you like. 

I say this because if a person’s not into “toys” in general? Why on earth would they read on after that warning above.  Also plays into my whole “stories are often better when you don’t know the end” stance. Because they are, dagnabbit. 

Some folks tack on “unprotected sex”, and fine, okay. Would suggest that if you want to add on some sort of advisement of “don’t do that”, “glove up”, “be safe” and what not, you whip an asterisk on there - “unprotected sex*” - and stick it in an Author’s Note post-story, more on those in a sec.

Violence - go with “graphic violence” and “mild-to-moderate violence”

The latter implies TV-level gore/horror, and the former implies movie/cable TV-level. 

If you want, you could quantify it that way - like “show-level violence” or “movie-level violence” (if doing Avengers or Star Trek or whatnot)

Side note: if you’re going for no-holds-barred, Ash Vs. Evil Dead-level action?  Go on & stick “horror” in your category/genre, methinks

Character Death / Major Character Death  

I have never understood this as a warning, seek advisement from someone else on this point. Legit.

That is a major plot point. Why in this world people would want to spoil themselves on major plot points is beyond me. 

Besides, can we stop treating readers like infants? You’ve given an age range/rating. You’ve said there’s violence. You’ve categorized it as angst (or “sorrow” or “mourning” or WHATEVER) and that paints the picture for me, an over-18 adult, one who has heeded the violence and sorrow alerts and has chosen to proceed. YMMV. Nash don’t get it. I’ve gone all tangent-y again. 

Warnings, Part Two - Stories With Two Or More Parts:

So let’s say there’s a kidnap-and-ransom that involves the villain making a threat of raping the captive. But it happens in Chapter Five. 

That “allusion to non-consensual situation” is, of course, told to the reader up front, and here’s the times when you may wanna tack “eventual” on it. 

Then have an “Additional Warnings” or “Chapter Warnings” section on just this chapter post. They chose to read the thing after seeing that broad warning, I know, but it’s still nice to warn them so they aren’t reading it on lunch break at the office or something.

Side note: when doing multi-parters/series, just copy/paste all this stuff on top of each post, then tuck this “extra” note below the overall warning items

Author’s Note(s):   

N/A 

Use this liberally. There should not be a ton to say after you’ve done all that’s above.

The exception here - as in, a “regular appearance” kind of Author’s Note since it doesn’t really fit anywhere else, is an acknowledgment of any editor(s) who may have assisted.

Another to file under “common parlance” - they are called “Beta(s)”/”Beta Reader(s)” around here, even though technically a beta would be someone who’d be your first reader of the final product, post-edit, and pre-publish. [shrugs]

Advise you not wax poetic on their awesomeness - takes up too much space - do your gushing privately, no one cares about your excited feels for that person [sorry-not-sorry] 

Plus it’s kind’ve bizarre - for me, at least - to see effusive praise heaped upon an editor should I read on and find myriad mistakes I’d naturally assume they missed, which brings me to an example of another unneeded note….

…the one post-beta acknowledgment that goes “…so any mistakes below are all mine”.  ????  What, so you had ‘em do all that for you, followed by ignoring the errors they pointed out? Error’s an error. I suspect they mean not altering verbiage or flow or a suggestion of that ilk, but still. Just acknowledge them by their “@” and move on. I digressed.

Regarding challenges - and this is a “Nash Thing” - I advise you don’t put the challenge info here, above the story. 

All it does it lengthen your top note and keep people from the story once they’ve decided to read. I actually went back & re-formatted for this on a lot of my stuff because it made the top part way too long. 

I suggest you put “Author’s Note(s):Post-Story” and lay it out there - the challenge name, whose challenge it is and the prompt. Why?

If you tell readers the prompt - and another “Nash Thing” is that I don’t bold mine - they will subconsciously be on the lookout for it, which takes away the point of the challenge - to seamlessly integrate a random thing

Other “post-story” can be any inspiration you may’ve used - like songs or the details on a cross-over piece. 

For cross-overs, this is a nice place to do a little “Various characters/settings used, verbiage style and minor plot points inspired by Joss Whedon’s Buffy the Vampire Slayer”. 

Plus, you can put links to vid clips or pics of the cast or links to the song or c&p lyrics of the song - whatever. Point is, it doesn’t take up story space so readers can pass it by if they so choose

* Overall Summary: 

My preference is that this is the last thing I see before I start the story, because I’ve seen all the details above, I’m almost sold, and this is what’s going to get me to scroll. Well, initially. First-scroll page-closers are another topic. 

“idk, i’m not good at these/i suck at these/omg these are so hard/i can’t really say”   –  No, no, no, you said plenty. You just told me you write garbage & that I shouldn’t waste my time.

Sometimes these will be a handful of sentences, and I’ve found that when I’m being cheeky on a parody/humorous story, that’s when they tend to be longer - mainly because I’m really trying to drive home that this is not merely “fluff” or “crack”. It’s what I said it was in “Category” - it’s “humor” and/or “parody”. 

Normally: one-to-two short-ish sentences or three quick sentences. 

No really. 

No, really. I don’t care how long the story is. 

Now, the novel-length ones? Maaaaybe a quickie paragraph of, say,4-to-5 brief - BRIEF - sentences for the umbrella. Then - like we were talking about with the chapter specific warnings? - you can delete the “overall” summary or tack on underneath a sentence about the chapter below IF something pertinent should be noted/you’d want to know it if you were the reader.

Am I an asshole if I put examples of mine? Eh. Here you go, and I stuck an example of an atypical A/N below, as well as what my longest looks like. The Mobile Master has pretty much the same descriptors as the story post itself, but none of the rest of this stuff - if the summation grabs ‘em, then they’ll click through for more of the scoop.

A Delicate Desiccation - they’re told about melancholy, but my stories had been out for awhile, so I *did* pop an atypical A/N (because it wasn’t really a warning, per se) on there to tell the regulars that this was a darker piece than they’d be used to; if I told more than I did in that summary - and shit, I give a big ass breadcrumb via the title card, not to mention the wording of the summary - it would wreck the ending.

Top of the World - novel-length, and readers get blips of a summary for each chapter (at least, on AO3, as FFnet doesn’t allow for it). The chapters average 10K. I did not come to play. It’s structured to read like you’re watching a season of behind-the-scenes-canon SPN, I’ve been clear I’m doing it in tandem with the active season(s), so I’m not gonna warn them “SPOILERS!” every chapter. I’m tired. I’m old. My fingers hurt, Spooks. My keyboard’s angry with me.  

Hope this helps! Or at least didn’t give you a headache. You’re ahead of the game already, just by asking the question. I think you rock. And I’m always right about knowing these sorts of things about people.

So sayeth the Nash, so say we all.