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arolegos · 1 month ago

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@fiberturkey89 OK HI i love treating ninjago charactes like my oc so heres the umm explanation for my morro design!!! YAP SESSION under cut cause i dont wanna flood ppl with my yapping ...

ok so to me he was a member of the cloud kingdom!!! i know this is a somewhat popular headcanon although im not sure who first came up with it. i just wanted a reason to make him look cool at first

every different realm and region has a majority species . To me . i could go on and on about each one that i Made up but for now i will focus on the CK species (plus euphrasia for additional um. idk. context?)

idk what id call the species name. ill just call them Writers . for now. Ummm as u can see i believe that their species has a LOT of wings. like a whole bunch. each person can have up to like 3 colours for their wings, with white being the main one. the colours don't have meaning Yet but idk . they're mostly whatever colour i think fit best with their character .

they also got Eyes on their wings . this would be the tertiary colour (or the same colour as secondary) . they have a Lot of feathers on their body (neck-chest, arm-wrist, around knee-ankle). They also have . featheered tails . Ok that's about as much as ill detail for their species bc i do have madeup culture for them But i don't want this to turn into a 9 paragraph yap session . I will focus on morro now

MORRO FAKE LORE! WOOHOO!!

ok so in the world where hes my oc. he was a part of the writers of destiny (or rather one in training but he lived in the cloud kingdom nonetheless) . anyways . he didn't really like the life there bc he always wanted to be More than just a writer of destiny. he wanted to be there to experience the damn thing himself, but that obviously wasn't allowed in the cloud kingdom (bc . well. u can see that theyre kinda strict on their rules (one destiny one path sort of thing or whatever) . so he eventually gets kicked out after enough misdemeanours (so probably he misbehaved like One time) . anyways they bound him to a flightless life (bc . flying was . well. a pretty big thing in a community full of people who have wings all over their body) and exiled him to Ninjago .

he cant fly back home so he doesn't. not that he would anyway. this is why he keeps his wings folded/closed almost all the time. they do not serve any purpose. he would love to chop them off if he could

he makes a few friends on the streets but theyre hardly 'friends' in the natural sense of that word.

also. in a fucked up twist of the world, he ends up being the elemental master of wind.

(this ones connected to another thing i also made up but if the Ninjago writers get to forget things and make things up at random So Can I; anyways my point is that wojira was defeated by Nyad . who was one of the two elements that matched the um amulet thing. and since she transformed into the sea i cant imagine the first EM of wind was just like Oh well okay then i guess its all over. In my mind they became one with the wind too and was probably from an even higher plane than the cloud kingdom but their powers ended up there anyway . Taken by some. Freak.)

around this time is when he meets wu and stuff. u know everything that happens from here so i will not be retelling shit but i am sooo adamant on them Not being father and son sorry. or at the very least i think it was only one-sided . i think wu wanted company and morro reminded him of a younger version of his older brother . thought of him as a 'son' bc thats the only way he could really see him. whereas morro thought wu was some stinky old man who was nice. very nice and sweet to him. promised him a destiny bigger than himself. but not a father. what even is a father? he does not see that in wu sorry . tgey will never be father and son to me . that relationship dynamic is too simple for the complexity of their relationship

yeagh well wu 'lied' about his destiny (I mean . of cours i dont actually think that way. wu kind of Had no way to tell if he really was destined to be the green ninja although It is kinda Freaked up to suggest it to a like. 10 year old. i guess he did learn his lesson . ) and morro was like Fuck u i choose my own destiny . And left and died. ok yea this is all stuff u already knew

(also i imagine he went looking for FSM's tombstone (aka he was Really just looking for the realm crystal) so he could go back home . to rewrite his own destiny. to be like Yeah i actually AM the green ninja and you cant stop me.)

okkokokk this is a bit graphic cause. believe it or not. morro dies. so like. i will be describing that a little

annywaayyyysss morro goes to the cave of despair and. gets lost. falls a bunch. at some point he realises hes like completely lost as in like to the point of no return . and while hes panicking there are Fuckinf geysers gushing out and rumbling the damn ground. he falls but he doesn't die immediately. he breaks his wings first though. not that they would've helped him fly out. but im just explaining why his wings look so wilted and like theyre just 'hanging off' in his ghost design. its bc they r. those are broken wings that cannot move naturally . he cannot keep them folded bc they are broken

his cause of death was thirst . starvation was a factor too but like. thirst got his ass first (as it would anyone). he ripped his sleeves while venturing around the cave but he did use some to try and wrap around his wounds . didn't really Help tho cause he died anyway .

Extra fucked up fake lore ? Writers have feathered tails that fall off to impending doom. as a final play on a destined fate (Dying!!!! LOL!!!!). so like days before morro dies the feathers of his tail fall off one by one until there are None left . if it makes it any better it doesn't hurt like a broken bone . just imagine if one day you woke up to your.? idk? leg gone? like it didn't hurt its just gone and you can feel that its gone but not the pain of the loss. if u get what i mean. or maybe thats not the right comparison. idk. your hair i guess?

. in his last moments his thoughts are not of any happy memories Because he straight up has none sorry gang i dont want him happy. Ok kidding im sure he thought of wu. im sure part of him wished wu had come after him. im sure a part of him wished he hadn't stepped into the cave. but i also Believe he probably welcomed death pretty nicely. with a warm hug and all. he probably leapt into that mfs arms.

anywaygsss . he gets sent to the cursed realm (Whicg is crazy im not going to lie but apparently he did a bunch of crazy shit while looking for the FSM's tomb so. maybe deserved. i dont know.) and the preeminent is like Yooo what is this freak doing here . Do my taxes. and morro is like Ok but u have to curse some realms. And the preeminent is like Yeah i already planned on doing that

also its only BC he went to the cursed realm that his wings are black in his ghost form!!! it looks more decayed and Cursed that way

ok yeah thats all the stuff i made up i think . unless i missed something. i dont think i did

also Lloyd would not have had his wings while he was being possessed . he only had like traces of them (ghost feathers would fall off his back when he moved but they weren't /actually/ there . it confused the fuck out of the ninja the first time. they were like Woah your voice got deeper. Why are you shedding feathers.)

morro is my favourite fucked up evil OC im so thankful they didn't give him a redemption arc thank yiu so much i love it when villains refuse to be redeemed even when given the chance im cheering adn clapping. morro never get revived. thank you.

#i know you technically asked for only wing lore #but i thought the other context was necessary for my design of him...#:3 #do i tag this #ninjago #ninjago morro #just so i can search myself #fake lore dump by leg #all of them are my ocs sorry i dont make the rules #genuinely morro isn't even one of my favs for me to be doing all this #but icl hes very silly and i love him #i just realised i never specified any age #i assume he died at early 20? maybe like literally days after his lonely 20th bday #he left the monastery at 15 #so he did fucked up things for 5 years #which i think warrants enough sins to end up in the cursed realm #probably? i guess #not normal about species-making btw #ask me about my madeup species for roby and bleckt. ask meabouGETS SHOT #ask me about what i made roxGETS KILLED BY A TANK #ask me about my madeup species for shintaro. ask me the difference of shintaro and ckGETS MAULED BY A BEAR #blabberpar

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logicheartsoul · 2 years ago

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the room (where you live in)

Summary: Inspired by the just-shower-thoughts post: "Every building can be a museum if you keep it the same long enough."

In which Bucky finds out the Smithsonian has added to its exhibit a recreation of one of the places Bucky lived in before becoming a soldier. A somewhat character study with some subtly hinted sambucky.

Author's Notes:Saw this post and then, I had this thought — we see SOME of the museum exhibit of Captain America but not all of it and I thought if Steve and the Howlies were so important, what if people took pictures of the rooms/houses they lived in before they “died” and did that museum thing where they recreate the room so people can look in or step inside? We kinda get a glimpse of that at the end of TFA to acclimate Steve to 2010 but what if they did that to a room Bucky lived in? And Bucky seeing it for himself? That's this fic lol

Kind of surprised I finished and wrote this in an hour considering how random it was but I hope you enjoy it! It’s a miracle I wrote another completed fic within the span of a week after 2 years.

(One of these days I'll actually finish the Sam character study I wrote but it's a bajillion words longer than this one)

—————————

This is a tribute to the dead; the ghost of their life. Lingering in the shadows, in the dust.

A mausoleum.

Like trampling over the living grave of who he used to be.

This is not his home; this is not his life, at least the life he occupies now. This has not been his life in decades.

This facsimile of his home, his room — one of many rooms he left himself behind — is a pale imitation. It brings memories of the remaining impressions, not of his own reality.

The curve of the bed frame, the thin fabric of the window drapes — these are the same but not his. The hidden history behind all of the details, of the walls, the furniture, even the common household items — it doesn’t exist. Not with these things.

It is all imitation, a living simulation. An exhibit, except he’s not caged in.

(Not anymore.)

But perhaps for all that it is, the details based on the real, like the photos in the frames, the bed linens and the wallpaper and the curtains—

It is the closest thing he can get to touching his past. To the thing that ties him to those memories. The closest he can get to touching those that are gone.

Gone.

His past self is gone, nearly erased: by time, by war, by trauma and torture.

He cannot visit his old home anymore.

He cannot visit the places that were his.

He cannot visit the people who are now long gone. From time, death, disease. Can only touch those they left behind, their remnants: children, grandchildren, cousins, nieces and nephews and niblings.

Their traces of his mother, his father, his sister — live on in their eyes, their smiles, their laughter. The color of their hair, the curve of their chin, the height of their bodies.

And the ache lessens.

It doesn’t go away.

But his life here, this snapshot taken in time:

It’s a memory, not his own but another. Of an observer looking into the glimpse of his former world.

He cannot step back into it as if he’d merely paused.

Time does not stand still, even for those who can defy it.

He was made to stand time, but it went on around him.

And he understands and gets it, truly, standing at this exhibit of his life. People want to know a glimpse of the truth, want context for his life, for Steve’s and the Howling Commandos. Want people to know where he came from, from how heroic people can rise from any circumstance.

Especially with a symbol as powerful as Steve Rogers.

It’s still disquieting.

It’s like he’s the ghost and he’s haunting himself.

This—this life, it’s only a part of who he is, but it’s not him. Not now.

Missing pieces of the puzzle that comprise his whole, messy life.

Doesn’t show the spaces he’s made now, in a far different environment. The spaces made in a new community, in a new home. The room where he lives in now.

One tidy but filled with a life before him and hopefully a life after him. Of furniture sturdy and handmade with a dark, lacquered finish. With pictures of a family that originally wasn’t his but is now. With fuzzy blankets for the cold nights, with quilted bed covers. Decor of a university he never went to but the other occupant did.

And the difference true in his new room—

It is not originally his room.

But it’s a room he shares, one he lives with its first occupant.

Where their clothes line the closet and the dresser together. Where they swap and share shirts and jackets and other clothes. Tight pants and loose jeans and different types of shoes: boots and tennis shoes and flip flops.

But this room, it’s not a museum. It’s not an exhibit.

It’s part of a home.

A home, where many of its pieces and rooms have remained virtually the same. If it is a museum, it is a museum for the testament of a home, of family, of belonging and feeling. Happiness and lows lie among the walls but it’s a place for living.

For the living.

The memories here…

Here, he can touch them and know its history, know its touch is true. The faded, bleached color of the paper behind one of the framed posters in one of the living spaces. The messy scrawl and coloring of a child’s love for their mother. Post it notes for mundane reminders and drawings made of planes, the paper thin and wrinkled, taped on.

And more, much more.

This, this is his place now. His reality, his truth.

Here he is not walking among the dead, he is among the living. The ancestors that remain, do so with loving care, protecting, blessing. They live vivaciously, vibrant. Their remnants are honored and passed on to new descendants and occupants.

And he is fortunate, blessed, to be in such a space. To be invited in, to live in it, to allow it to make a home for him. For him to add to this rich space that existed before him and perhaps will after he is long gone.

It’s a legacy.

A legacy that doesn’t start with him and doesn’t end with him, but one he hopes to protect and help guide on.

In the room where he lives, he is not alone, not like he has been forced to for so long.

No, not alone.

And as he looks down on the other, in the low, morning light, he knows this is where he is meant to be.

Meant to be holding him close, meant to watch over him, the sun’s early rays softening the angles of his face: the slope of his nose, his cheek, the curve of his jaw. Imbuing his dark skin with a glow.

Meant to be loving him with all his heart.

If he is to be remembered, if he is to have another exhibit based on his life, of a room he has lived in—

He wants the world to know of him.

Of the man in his arms. Of his childhood home the man and his sister have allowed him to stay. Of the quilted bed cover they’re under, of the pictures in frames that contain the man’s face, young and older, of family and friends smiling and happy. Of the watch he wears on his wrist when he goes out. The color of the walls.

His memory, how important he is.

And he is important on his own, on his own rights and merits, but he’s important to him. Important to who he is now.

To his heart, his soul, his life. There is no part of him that hasn’t been changed, touched, transformed without the other.

Perhaps, when time has taken them both, if this room becomes a museum of their life, of their love, of the transmutation of their better selves—

That is a legacy worth leaving behind.

—————————

If you like my writing, feel free to check out my writing tag!

#bucky barnes #sambucky #MCU #my writing #not the fic I intentionally wanted to write but it happened randomly #I dunno if this means my writing groove is back #taking that one day at a time #however I hope this is an enjoyable read

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bluiex · 2 years ago

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To try to get over my writer’s block, I’ve decided to write some drabbles of random AUs of mine. Which brought me back to a superhero AU of mine that I enjoy.

Most needed context is that the hero organization isn’t exactly the best kind of people. They defeat villains mainly to get rid of them, not help the people. Scar is the exception to this. Also in this, Grian got kidnapped and experimented on/given powers. With these powers he decides to become a vigilante and take down the heroes. Everyone thinks he’s dead (except Scar, but Scar doesn’t have any idea how to find him). Grian knows Scar is Hotguy, but Scar doesn’t know Grian is Xelqua (his vigilante identity).

—————

HotGuy draws his bow, eyes laser focused on Grian. It’s a horrible twist of fate, he thinks, to have his lover stare at him with such venom in his eyes. Grian knew this day would come, where he’d eventually face Scar, but it didn’t make it any better.

“What’s wrong Xelqua?” Scar says, voice painfully neutral. “Why so silent? My colleagues all say you’re so cocky, what happened?”

It’s easy to be cocky to people you don’t like, Grian thinks bitterly, not your own partner. He’s also worried that Scar will recognize his voice, not that he wants to admit that. He has to anyways, “nothing’s happened, I’m just in the middle of something.”

“Something nefarious, I’m sure,” Scar replies, stance steady, bow still drawn. Grian’s eyes don’t leave it.

“I’m a vigilante, not a villain.”

“You’re trying to take down the hero organization, that’s what villains do.”

“It would, if the hero organization was actually good,” Grian counters. “The heroes don’t care about the people they’re not true heroes.” Grian huffs out a breath and shakes his head, he’s had this argument with Scar too many times before, and that was when Scar trusted him. “Now, I have business to attend to,” Grian says before he could respond. “I’ll see you around, HotGuy.”

Before HotGuy can react, Grian creates a burst of bright light with his magic, taking to the skies immediately after. He hears a surprised shout as he takes flight, soon followed by the sound of an arrow whizzing by after his partner recovers. Grian has already gained too much distance by then, getting safely out of reach. He heads back to the lower class district with a grim frown on his face. He’d been hoping to avoid HotGuy for longer, but he should have known better, Scar’s taken his job as a hero way too seriously. Grian supposes it makes sense, he is the one true hero in this city.

~ ~ ~

Scar isn’t doing so well after his encounter with Xelqua. It was his first encounter with the vigilante who was very different than the others described him to be. Scar should know better then to trust every word said by his colleagues, but it’s hard to not sometimes.

Of course Scar’s problems has less to do with the vigilante himself, more with what he said. What sounded so similar to another avian’s words. Although a lot of things reminds him of Grian.

Scar forces himself to keep himself presentable the rest of his time working. He can’t show any more weakness to them, even if he wants nothing else than to hide in a corner to have a breakdown. But he’s a popular hero, he can’t be seen falling apart. Especially over something so “small.”

His facade dissolves the moment he steps inside his home. Home… Scar looks around at the quiet place. It doesn’t feel much like home anymore. Too quiet, too… empty.

Scar was already thinking too much about Grian earlier, so seeing his partner’s continued absence hits like a truck. Scar drags himself over to the couch and falls face first onto it, burying his head into a pillow.

Void, he misses Grian.

It gets worse after every dead end and faulty lead Scar finds. If only he could get the higher ups to help him, but they already decided he’s dead. Grian can’t just die, it’s impossible to kill him, Scar’s pretty sure.

Scar is also pretty sure that Cub is hacking into the hero organization’s system to help gather info, but he’s resolutely ignoring that fact. Especially because they refuse to help him.

OH I LOVE THIS AU IDEA. Grian being abducted and forced powers onto him.. Hating the hero organization. Perfect perfect perfect. And I'm so happy to see yo writing again <333 I love your writing so much

#bluie gets an ask poggers #long post

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lyranova · 1 year ago

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Children of the Future: Shadows of the Past

Chapter 9: Tensions and Transformations

Hiya guys! Sorry this chapter is late again, i’ve just been busy 😅. This chapter is suuper long (6.4k words 😱), and I wanna thank @thoughtfullyrainynightmare and @loosesodamarble for helping me with this chapter as I really struggled trying to word things. Also Josele Canty, who is mentioned and shown throughout this chapter, and the Nachsele Next Gens belong to @/loosesodamarble as well! I hope you all enjoy~!

Word Count: 6,483

Warnings: None

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In Lumi

“ I’m sorry, ma’am, but the Queen refuses to see you.” The guard said for what was probably the 10th time in the last few minutes, but the woman, Josele Canty, just wasn’t taking ‘no’ for an answer.

“ Are you sure you spelled my name right? And are you sure that you told her it was ‘Joey’, her cousin in law and best friend, and not some random guy?” She asked as she held her hands up to her heart and wrung them together in concern. Nacht watched on, not saying a word.

“ Yes ma’am, as I’ve already told you, the Queen doesn’t want to see you. So please leave,” The guard said with a sigh, but Josele shook her head.

“ That just doesn’t make any sense, Dia!” Josele shouted loudly over the guard's head, making him wince and Nacht sigh. “ Dia come down here and talk, or are you too afraid of what I have to say?” She yelled louder, hoping against the odds that Discordia could hear her and the words would get a rise out of her, as such implications usually did. Nacht sighed before walking up to his wife, grabbing her by her shoulders, and steering her away from the Castle gates.

“ See? I told you that she wasn’t the same Discordia that you knew years ago,” Nacht said as he and Josele walked away. But the brunette shook her head.

“ It just doesn’t make any sense,” Josele said softly. “ I can understand her not wanting to see you-no offense…”

“ None taken.” Nacht replied.

“ But not wanting to see me? That isn’t like her at all!” She added with a concerned tone to her voice, and her husband nodded in agreement.

“ You’re right, it isn’t like her. But people change, Josie, even people like Discordia.” Nacht told her softly, and Josele nodded. It was a sad fact, and one she didn’t want to think about, but maybe he was right about Discordia…maybe she had changed.

“ You know what else is strange,” Nacht began as he began to look around at all the people, and Josele frowned a bit.

“ What?”

“ This city, and the people in it. Something about it seems…off.” He muttered as he stopped walking and just watched the people walking to and fro, and she stopped right beside him.

As Josele was concentrating on the people that walked past her and Nacht, she began to notice just how…cold and emotionless everyone was. It was like they were all dead inside. Their emotions were so weak that she really had to focus in order to sense them. She got trace amounts of fear and anger, but then they would just simply disappear, as though they didn’t exist to begin with.

That was very strange.

“ Sterling said everything seemed fine, and that there wasn’t any danger,” Josele told him as she also began looking around. She sensed it too, but had just put it to being in a different country with different people and customs, but for Nacht to say something, maybe her gut had been trying to tell her something.

“ I know, and I don’t doubt our daughter's Divination capabilities,” Nacht said softly as he turned to his wife. “ But even her magic is limited. So while she didn’t see anything strange or dangerous, it doesn’t mean there aren’t any, it just means that they were able to hide themselves from her.” He added, and she couldn’t help but agree.

Their eldest daughter's magic was very powerful, and very sought after, and she rarely made mistakes. But her divination even had its limits. The future could easily change on a dime, or sometimes she would see things out of order or with little context. It was powerful, and rarely wrong, but it wasn’t completely foolproof.

“ Nacht, look,” Josele said as she nodded her head in front of them. Nacht turned to look and saw a person wearing a black and red cloak, standing a few feet away, with the hood covering their face. But what got the couple's attention was the emblem on the cloak:

It was a Cerberus.

“ Don’t let them get away, got it?” Nacht said, and Josele nodded.

“ Don’t gotta tell me twice.”

And soon, the chase was on.

The cloaked man quickly took off running, with Josele and Nacht giving chase. They ducked, dodged, bobbed, and weaved through the crowded streets. The man was quick, but so were they.

Nacht used his shadow magic and debated on using his Bremen devils, but refrained, he didn’t want to cause a big commotion and draw unnecessary attention to him and Josele. But every time he used his shadow magic to get close, it was as though the man somehow knew and was just able to get out of his reach.

Josele tried to use her emotion magic to try to stop the man as well, but again, he managed to dodge her. Effectively making her and Nacht annoyed.

“ Josele,” Nacht called out to his wife. “ Let’s try to corner him down that alleyway!”

“ Alright! I’ll use Vexed Smog to make a smoke screen, maybe it’ll disorientate him, and you can use your Shadow Magic to grab him!” Josele shouted back at her husband, who nodded in agreement.

The couple watched in slight confusion as the man suddenly turned left, down the opposite alley that they wanted him to go down. But the couple would take it, as long as they could corner him, that was all that mattered.

Josele quickly used her Vexed Smog spell and the alley filled with smoke, and Nacht used his Shadow Magic to sneak down the alley unseen and undetected. But frowned a bit as he stood at the end of the alley, where the man was supposed to be.

“ What’s wrong?” She asked as the smoke cleared, and she walked down the alley, she frowned when she noticed her husband standing there, alone. “ Where did he go?”

“ I don’t know,” Nacht admitted with a confused frown as he turned around and around in the alley. “ He ran down here, we watched him, but I don’t see or sense him anywhere.” He muttered as he placed a thoughtful hand under his chin.

“ I don’t sense him either,” Josele agreed as she frowned and crossed her arms. “ Maybe…maybe he was an illusion? Or he was able to disguise himself?”

“ An illusion would make more sense, if he was able to disguise himself we would have both been able to sense his magic here.” Nacht said before he looked at his wife. “ If it was just an illusion, it was a pretty powerful one to have been able to fool us.”

Suddenly the two heard a door squeak and they both jumped and got into defensive stances, but after a few seconds they didn’t see, hear, or sense anything. The two looked at each other for a moment, asking each other if they should go investigate. Nacht’s eyes begged Josele to stay here and keep watch, while her eyes argued that he wasn’t going down there to face an unknown enemy alone. They went back and forth silently for a moment before Nacht sighed and gave in.

He walked towards the door and used his shadow magic to push it open forcefully. He walked inside slowly and steadily, but still didn’t see anything but an empty house. He walked further in and paused when he heard another door squeak, one that led downstairs and into what he imagined was the cellar. Nacht turned to look at his wife over his shoulder and saw her nod, so, he walked down the stairs slowly and stopped once he reached the bottom.

Josele came to stand beside him and looked at him, on the count of three he would use his magic to open the door, and Josele would use her Guardian’s Will Shield spell to protect them. Nacht quietly began to count down, and once he mouthed the word ‘one’ he busted open the door and Josele produced Shield Magic.

But nothing ever came at them.

Josele and Nacht peeked over the shield and peered inside, the room was void of people. All they could see was the faint glimmer of a few candles in the room. The couple looked at each other in confusion before they stood up, Josele did away with her spell, and the two of them walked into the room.

What they saw made their eyes widen.

—----

Back in Clover

Ulla Lunettes quickly walked to her newly appointed Captain’s office, her heart beating anxiously in her chest, why did he call for her? Did she do something wrong? Or was this about the last mission they went on? She couldn’t help but nervously bite her nails as she came upon his office door. She took a calming breath before knocking on it.

“ Come in,” She heard Alistar call softly, and she slowly opened the door and peeked around it. She saw him staring down at his desk, apparently filling out reports.

“ Y-You called for me, sir?” She asked as she walked inside and closed the door, Alistar nodded.

“ I did, give me one second to finish this report.” He told her softly, not looking up from the paper. Ulla nodded as she began to look around.

The office hadn’t changed much, if at all. It looked nearly identical to how the other Captain Vangeance had it, although it was a little messier and there appeared to be a lot more papers on his desk. A lot more.

“ O-Oh wow, Captain, it looks like you really have a lot of paperwork to do.” She said with a nervous laugh as she stared at the stacks of papers.

“ Oh, this isn’t paperwork.” He told her quickly, not looking up from his report. Ulla frowned in confusion at his words.

“ It isn’t? Then what is it?”

“ It’s marriage proposals.”

“ Ah, I see, it’s marriage proposals…” Ulla said, nodding her head as though it were the most obvious, everyday thing. But then her brain seemed to fully register what Alistar said and blinked.

“ WAIT WHAT?!” She shouted in disbelief, her eyes widening, the stack of papers was at least 12 inches tall, if not taller! And they were just marriage proposals?! The thought of having that many suitors made her head spin.

“ I-Is this a…common thing that happens to you?” She asked softly, her head still spinning somewhat, and Alistar smiled a bit.

“ It is, although it seems to have gotten…worse since I’ve become Captain,” He admitted with a small chuckle and a shake of his head. He was used to getting love letters, confessions, and other such things. But getting marriage proposals was something new.

“ Are you…going to respond to any of them, sir?” Ulla asked softly and with a curious tone. Alistar sighed before he set his quill down and looked up at her.

“ I plan on responding to them, but it’s only to refuse their offers, and to tell them that I’m flattered, but I’m not interested in dating or getting married at this time. I’ll also tell them to find someone else to love, and that they shouldn’t waste their time on someone like me.” Alistar told her with a soft smile, and Ulla suddenly felt her face burn.

“ Wow, you’re so cool, Captain Vangeance!” She suddenly exclaimed, jumping up out of her seat. Her eyes shined brightly with admiration and her voice full of awe. “ I mean, you could easily be a cold jerk and say ‘no, thanks’ or just not respond to them at all. But instead you’re taking the time out of your busy schedule to write replies to all of them and are even encouraging them to find someone else more fitting! That’s so, so cool of you, no wonder men and women find you so handsome and charming!” Ulla added quickly and excitedly, making Alistar blink in surprise and leaned back in his chair.

“ Um, thank you?” He said hesitantly and with a nervous laugh, making Ulla realize just how close she was and how loud she had been. Her face turned an even brighter red as she jumped back.

“ I-I’m so sorry, Captain Vangeance! I got carried away and made you uncomfortable, I’m so ashamed!” She cried as anxiety filled her mind, was he going to scold her or kick her out? Or was he just going to mutter that she was annoying?

“ I’m not uncomfortable, just a little surprised you think so highly of me,” He admitted with a nervous laugh as he rubbed the back of his head. “ To be honest, I don’t think I’m very cool or special, but I’m glad to hear you think so.”

Ulla sighed in relief, he wasn’t angry or upset, instead he seemed rather happy that someone in his squad seemed to think highly of him and was actually willing to admit it out loud. She knew he had trouble connecting and getting along with some members of the Golden Dawn, but she never really understood why. He wasn’t a bad or cocky person, he was actually pretty nice and humble.

“ Anyway, I called you in here to ask if everyone was gathered downstairs,” Alistar said with a warm smile, and Ulla quickly shook her head to clear her thoughts before nodding.

“ Yes, sir, everyone's gathered downstairs just like you asked,” Ulla told him before tilting her head.

“ But, may I ask why?”

“ Because I have an announcement to make, and everyone should be gathered to hear it.” He told her simply before standing up and walking towards her. “ Come on, let’s not keep everyone waiting.”

Ulla nodded quickly before spinning around and walking out of the office.

“ Oh, and Ulla,” He called after her, making the red haired girl spin around again. “ Please don’t call me ‘sir’ or ‘Captain Vangeance’. It makes me feel awkward, so just call me Alistar.” He told her, he watched her face turn pink again before she quickly saluted him.

“ Y-Yes sir!” She said before quickly running out of the office, making Alistar sigh, shake his head, but chuckle in amusement.

After a few minutes, Alistar appeared in front of his squad. He stood in the very spot he had seen his father stand in many times before, he felt like an enormous weight had suddenly been put on his shoulders. He had so much to live up to, and had big shoes to fill now that his father had retired.

“ Good morning everyone, and thank you all for coming on such short notice,” Alistar began loudly and seriously, but kept a calm smile on his face. “ I’ll keep this short, so you can all go about your day as you’ve planned,”

“ Firstly, I know there have been some questions and speculations on whom I’m going to make my Vice-Captain, and I wanted to tell you all who that person is,” Alistar suddenly turned. “ Ulla Lunettes will be the next Vice-Captain of the Golden Dawn.”

Everyone stared at him wide-eyed before their gazes shot to the red haired woman, who’s face nearly matched her hair. She began to stammer as her mind buzzed, she…she was going to be the Vice-Captain?! But why? There were certainly other more capable candidates than her!

“ She has shown to be a very capable and trustworthy Magic Knight, she has shown immense bravery and talent when it comes to earning our citizen's trust. And has shown to be one of the most powerful mages we have in our squad. Which is why I’ve made this choice.” Alistar said with a warm smile, and Ulla blinked, her head still spinning.

“ ‘Brave’ and ‘Ulla’, those are two words I wouldn’t put in the same sentence.” Someone muttered as a few others chuckled, and Alistar’s gaze swiftly glided over to them.

“ That’s another thing I wanted to address,” He began, his voice more stern. “ I will not tolerate any bullying, classism, racism, or anything of that towards our squad members or towards any other squad. This squad is supposed to be the best and bravest squad in the entire kingdom, we’re supposed to be united, we’re supposed to rely on each other. If we can’t be kind to each other, then how are we supposed to be kind to the citizens without looking like hypocrites?” He asked, and he watched the Golden Dawn members go silent. “ If I catch any of you breaking these new rules I’ve put into place, then you will be disciplined. If you continue to break or disregard them, then I will have no choice but to remove you from the squad completely, is that understood?”

The Golden Dawn all looked at each other for a moment, he was strict, but was also fair. Some of the members recalled Captain William making a similar speech a few years ago, when Alistar had nearly destroyed the Golden Dawn base. But they all quickly saluted him.

“ Yes, sir!” They shouted as they kneeled down, some more reluctantly than others.

Alistar nodded before quickly dismissing everyone, and Ulla immediately ran up to him, her face red and eyes still wide.

“ W-Why did you make me your Vice-Captain? Surely you could’ve made Leotile or Emery or Celeste-?” She began, but Alistar cut her off.

“ Emery and Celeste are too young and too green to be Vice-Captain, and Leotile has been talking about retiring recently, which is why I didn’t bother asking her.” Alistar told Ulla simply before smiling. “ And besides, I think you’re more than ready for this. Especially after how you handled the last mission.” Alistar added encouragingly.

“ So, please accept the Vice-Captain position!” He said with a bright smile and his hands together in a pleading expression. Ulla blinked a bit but slowly nodded.

“ A-Alright, I won’t let you down, Captain!” Ulla said loudly, her voice shaking slightly, before she quickly saluted him. Alistar chuckled before patting her on the head.

“ Okay, just do your best out there, Vice-Captain Lunettes.”

—---

The Black Bull's Hideout

Yami sat outside with Charlotte and his three children, Charlotte and Hana were working on a small rose garden, while Hikari and Einar were talking and practicing their magic. He hadn’t heard from Nacht or Josele since they left a couple of days ago, but that wasn’t really unusual with them. They would sometimes go off the grid for days or weeks, especially Nacht. But ever since they had Sterling, Dawn, Dusk, Sirius, Merel, and Vivian the two of them had tried to always keep in contact.

Which was why he was worried about not hearing from them.

Suddenly, Yami heard the crackle of the communication device, and he pulled it out of his pocket as quickly as he could.

“ Nacht, Jo, what’s going on?” Yami asked quickly before the image on the device became clear, and he saw that it wasn’t either Nacht or Josele.

It was William.

“ Um, I’m sorry,” William apologized when he saw the disappointed look on Yami’s face. “ Were you expecting a call from them?”

“ Yeah, kind of,” Yami admitted with a sigh before he shook his head. “ Anyway, what’s up?” Yami added, quickly trying to change the subject, and William blinked a bit in surprise before his face grew serious.

“ Well, I have a new mission that’s been assigned to your squad,” William started. “ But if now’s a bad time, I can always give it to the Golden Dawn or Silver Eagles.”

“ Nah it’s fine, we’ll take it, where is it?” Yami asked, and William glanced down at his papers for a moment before looking back up at Yami.

“ I believe it’s towards the Hage Village, which is why I feel that this mission is urgent, especially considering the squad that was originally supposed to take it declined and told me to give it to you.” William said, and Yami nodded as he got lost in thought.

The mission sounded urgent, especially considering how far away Hage was and given that a squad already refused to take it. But…he couldn’t leave right now, he wanted to wait here in case Josele and Nacht returned. He watched Hikari laugh and talk with her brother and an idea struck him, but as he went to speak he suddenly hesitated.

What if this mission was dangerous? Or what if it was more than she would be able to handle? He didn’t want to send her so far away on a mission by herself.

“ What exactly is this mission? Is it a dungeon?” He asked, and William looked at the paper again and shook his head.

“ It appears to be bandits, again. I tried to get some more information from Father Orsi, but he said he didn’t see anything on their cloaks,” William said softly, knowing that Yami was worried that it was somehow connected to the Cerberus group.

“ Should I risk it and send her anyway? Or should I just go ahead and send her?’’ He muttered under his breath, his mind going back and forth, before he finally sighed.

“ I’ll send Hikari and the other kids,” Yami said after a moment, he then looked back down at Williams face.

“ Are you sure, Yami?”

“ Yeah, even if they do end up going against the Cerberus group, they’ll be able to take care of themselves. They’ve done it before.” Yami said with a small grin as the memory of his brats popped into his mind, William nodded.

“ Alright, I’ll let Father Orsi know.” William said quickly before disappearing, and Yami sighed. Hoping he made the right decision.

“ Hey kid, c’mere for a sec!” Yami shouted at Hikari, she blinked for a moment before nodding and running up to her father. “ You just got assigned a new mission.”

“ Already? Isn’t Asta showing favoritism by giving us all these missions?” Hikari joked as she crossed her arms, Yami scoffed and shook his head.

“ Nah, this mission was turned down by another squad, so it isn’t favoritism.” Yami said before he crossed his arms. “ Anyway, the mission is all the way up in Hage Village, so hurry up and grab the other kids and head out.”

“ Hage Village? What’s going on out there?” She asked in concern, knowing that Asta and his family had to be worried about their family there. Yami gave a small shrug.

“ Bandits from what I was told,” He told her, and when he saw her eyes widen a bit, and he quickly waved off her concern. “ They aren’t a part of that Cerberus group, at least, we don’t think so.”

Hikari nodded slowly, she could sense the hesitancy and unease in her father's Ki. He didn’t want to send her and the others out there by themselves, but at the same time, he knew that time was of the essence. So her father didn’t really have a choice.

“ Alright, I’ll gather the others and go! Besides, even if the bandits are members of that group, we can take them, we’ve done it before!” Hikari said brightly and determinedly, Yami laughed before ruffling her hair a bit.

“ That’s my girl!”

—----

Later That Evening

The sun was slowly beginning to set, and Nacht and Josele still hadn’t returned or contacted him. He had tried getting a hold of their kids to see if they may’ve heard from their parents, but they quickly said they hadn’t. When they tried to ask what was wrong, Yami quickly lied and said everything was fine and that they didn’t need to worry.

But that only made everyone worry more.

“ Sterling says she can’t see her parents,” Charlotte said as she came outside to stand with her husband. “ Which leads her to believe that Nacht is in the Shadow Realm.” Yami nodded, his fingers itching for a cigarette.

“ I hope so, ‘cause they’re starting to worry me,” He muttered as he slowly began to pace back and forth. Only to stop when he felt Charlotte place a hand on his arm.

“ They’ll be back soon, maybe they decided to stay just a little longer to catch up with his cousin, or maybe they found a clue?” Charlotte tried to suggest, even though she didn’t quite believe it herself. Yami sighed and rubbed the back of his head.

“ Maybe, although I don’t think Nacht would wanna stay any longer than he has to, considering he and his cousin don’t get along.” Yami pointed out with a small chuckle as he recalled the two bickering many times before.

“ I heard from Hikari,” Charlotte said after a moment of quiet, hoping that hearing about Hikari would make him feel a little better. “ She and the others are going to stay at the Church for tonight and then go looking for the bandits tomorrow. But right now they’re all safe and happy.” She watched her husband's shoulders slump in relief and a smile work its way onto his face.

“ Finally, we’ve got some good news,” He chuckled as he scratched the back of his head.

“ Now all we need is for Nacht and Jo to return with more good news, and this day will be better than any of the last few.”

Right as the words left his lips, he felt a presence appear behind him. He turned around and noticed Josele and Nacht appear out of the shadows, looking just as they had when they left.

“ Sorry for keeping you guys,” Josele said with a nervous laugh as she walked up to Yami and Charlotte. “ We got a little side tracked.”

“ ‘A little’? You guys were gone for two days,” Yami said, his voice rough, but they could all sense the relief in his tone and emotions. “ So, did your cousin have anything?” He asked and Nacht shook his head.

“ She refused to see us, just as I expected she would,” Nacht muttered as he crossed his arms.

“ But luckily we didn’t need her, instead we got some information all on our own.” He added as he pulled out some papers and what appeared to be maps from his cloak.

“ The hell?” Yami muttered as he snatched the papers from Nacht’s hands, and slightly glared at his smug grin. He opened the papers and noticed a bunch of images, words, and ruins on them that he barely recognized, the only thing he recognized was the locations on the map. It had all the kingdoms, and little red dots along with them.

“ How is it Josie and I managed to gather more evidence in 2 days while you and other others haven’t managed to discover anything in 2 weeks?” Nacht asked, his smile staying in place, and Yami frowned.

“ You’re right, how did you two manage to get all of this in 2 days, unless,” Yami muttered as he looked up from the papers and looked at Nacht, whose smile slipped from his face.

“ Unless they wanted us to find this,” Nacht agreed, his tone serious. “ Which means…”

“ They’ve already moved onto something else, something much bigger than this, and they want us to catch up.” Yami finished, making Nacht, Josele, and Charlotte nod in agreement as the surrounding air grew tense and worrying.

—----

Mid-Afternoon, In The Spade Kingdom

Miku sat in the library and quietly read her book, everything in the Castle seemed to go back to normal after Kya woke up. Her mother had grown more protective and rarely let her or her siblings out of her sight, and as suffocating as that was, she tried her best to understand. Especially since her father asked her to be patient.

Patient, the young girl wanted to laugh, she felt that she was always being patient. Whether it came to her siblings, her studies, training. She was always being told to wait or be patient, and she was starting to get sick of it.

“ Miku,” Her father called softly as he walked over to her, Miku was pulled out of her thoughts and quietly closed her book. “ I was looking for you everywhere.” He added with a soft smile as he knelt down in front of where she was sitting.

“ Is something wrong?” Miku asked as she gently closed her book and set it aside, worry etched into her eyes that something had happened to Kya again.

“ No, nothing's wrong,” Yuno quickly said, but her father’s eyes betrayed him. “ I just wanted to ask you something.” Miku nodded slowly.

“ Can we push your training back again?” She blinked in surprise at her father’s question, before the surprise turned into exasperation and annoyance.

“ But it’s already been pushed back twice!” Miku said as she sat up straighter, and her voice slightly exasperated. She had been looking forward to training with her dad again, his smile turned sad and regrettable.

“ I know, and I’m sorry, but-,” Yuno tried, but he heard his eldest child sigh in irritation as her fists clenched the edge of the couch tightly.

“ ‘But something came up’, that’s what you were going to say, right?” Miku muttered, her tone becoming very annoyed. “ Something always seems to come up whenever you and I try to train.”

“ I’m sorry, Miku, I promise we’ll train tomorrow. I’ll clear my entire afternoon, how does that sound?” Yuno bargained, but he watched his daughter roll her eyes before she stood up, which made his eyes narrow a bit.

“ Yeah, right,” She grumbled as she walked towards the door. “ You’ll clear your afternoon, some nobles will come to visit or something else will come up, and you’ll push it back again. If I were Kya or Kito this wouldn’t happen.”

“ Hey,” Yuno called after her, his tone soft but holding a serious sternness to it. “ You know this is my job Miku, and it’s a 24 hour 7 day a week one that doesn’t give me time off or a chance to rest. I know it’s hard, but you just have to be patient-.”

Miku stopped walking and spun around when she heard those words leave her father's mouth, her purple eyes held a fiery anger in them. Her fists clenched at her sides, and she stomped her foot down onto the wooden floor with such force that it made a loud ‘boom’ echo though the room.

“ Patient?! I’m tired of being patient, dad, I’m tired of waiting while everyone else gets a turn or a moment with you! I’m tired of always having to be the grown up and waiting my turn!” Miku shouted angrily. “ I’m starting to think you and mom are pushing my training back on purpose!”

“ What is going on in here?” The two suddenly heard from the doorway, Yuno and Miku turned to see Neva standing there, a serious look on her face, and her arms crossed.

It was rare that Yuno and Miku argued or disagreed, the two of them had been as thick as thieves ever since she was born, so for them to be doing this now meant something was very wrong.

The two looked at each other icily for a moment before Yuno looked at his wife.

“ It’s under control, don’t worry.”

Neva knew better. By the looks on their faces and what her gut was telling her, this was far from ‘under control’.

“ I may not be able to read minds, but from what I’m seeing and sensing from you two, this is far from being handled. So, what’s going on?”

So she crossed her arms and raised a brow, waiting for one of them to begin explaining, before Yuno sighed and relented.

“ I asked Miku if it was alright that we push back her training to tomorrow, and she…got upset.” Yuno muttered with a shrug, and Miku glared icily at her father.

“ I’m not upset,” She exclaimed angrily as she stomped her foot against the ground. “ I’m just mad because you’re being a jerk and aren’t keeping your promise to spend time with me!”

“ Hey, don’t call your father a jerk,” Neva warned seriously as she looked at her daughter.

“ Apologize. Now.”

“ No, I won’t!” Miku said angrily at her mother.

“ Why should I when he’s a liar and keeps breaking his promise to train with me? He always says he’s too busy and can’t drop everything, but when Kya went missing he was able too!”

“ Don’t call your father a liar ever again. And what happened to Kya was different, and you know it,” Neva pointed out, her purple eyes narrowing. “ And why are you so determined to train? You’re only thirteen, it’s not like you’re getting your grimoire tomorrow.”

Miku clenched her teeth, why was she always having to explain herself to them?

“ Because I want to inherit Sylph, and in order to do that I need to get strong like dad!” She shouted, causing her parents to blink in surprise as they looked at her. She wanted to inherit Sylph? This was the first time they heard of it.

“ Miku,” Yuno said as he crouched down to her level. “ While I understand and appreciate you wanting to inherit Sylph, I don’t think you’re ready yet.”

“ Obviously. Which is why I want to train with you!”

“ But I’m not just talking about magical or physical strength, Miku-.” Yuno tried to continue, but he was once again cut off by his daughter.

“ So it’s just that you don’t trust me to take care of her? Or is it that you don’t want to give her to me? Or did you already promise her to Kya?!” Neva quickly shook her head at her daughter.

“ That isn’t it either Miku, your father’s only saying that taking on Sylph is a big responsibility, and that he wants you to mature a little more before he-.” She tried to tell her, but instead of cooling her daughter's temper, she seemed to fan the flames instead.

“ You two just don’t want me to inherit Sylph and always want me to be dependent on you!” Miku shouted as she backed away from her parents.

“ That isn’t true-!” Neva began, but Miku’s gaze shot towards her mother.

“ Yes it is! You just want me to stay weak, like you!”

“ Miku Vega!” Yuno shouted, his voice raising for the first time during the entire disagreement. He could handle any insult their eldest daughter threw at him, but he wouldn’t allow her to insult and be disrespectful to her mother.

“ I hate you both,” The girl muttered. “ And I never want to see either of you again!” She shouted before running out of the library, leaving her parents standing there irritated and somewhat dumbfounded.

Yuno felt his shoulders slump, he had never once had to raise his voice at his children, and out of all his children, the last one he ever thought he would have to raise his voice at was Miku. He watched Neva crouch down beside him, and she sighed heavily.

“ Are you okay?” He asked softly, even though he already knew the answer. Neva shook her head.

“ Well, our daughter thinks the world is ending because she doesn’t get to train with her dad. She suddenly announces that she wants to inherit Sylph, she thinks that I’m weak, and to top it all off she said she hates us and never wants to see us again.” Neva said with a humorless laugh. “ So I’m doing just great.” Neva added sarcastically.

“ I’ll try talking to her,” Yuno muttered slightly as he looked at her. “ She shouldn’t have said any of that.”

“ Just leave her be for now, she just needs some time,” Neva said softly. “ Right now, she’s upset, angry, and hurt. So just…let her be.” Yuno sighed and shook his head.

“ The worst part about this is that I get it. When I was her age, and Father Orsi told me to quit practicing and training, I felt like the world was ending and would get so angry that I wouldn’t talk to Father Orsi for weeks.” Yuno muttered with a humorless chuckle, and Neva smiled. That sounded just like him.

“ I was the same way too,” Neva admitted softly. “ William would come and train with me once a week, and whenever he skipped a week, I would try to do it on my own. But that went about as well as you would expect.”

Yuno chuckled and nodded, and then they fell quiet. They understood Miku’s feelings well, and they would both admit they hadn’t been spending as much time with her lately as they would like. But that still didn’t make her outburst right.

“ She didn’t mean what she said, about you being weak,” Yuno told his wife softly, he knew those words cut her like a knife, they probably hurt her a lot more than when Miku said she hated her.

“ Yes, she did,” Neva muttered with a small sigh. “ She meant every word she said. Why? Because she’s a hurt teenage girl who wanted to hurt us back. Every word and insult we say at that age we mean, because we’re still learning just how much our words can affect people.”

“ You’re right,” Yuno admitted with a nod as he moved closer to his wife. “ And since you were once a thirteen-year-old girl, can you tell me when she’ll talk to us again?” He watched his wife hum in thought.

“ Well, since she inherited your stubbornness, I imagine she’ll talk to us again in about two weeks to a month.” Neva said with a small chuckle, and Yuno’s eyes narrowed slightly.

“ She inherited your stubbornness too, y’know.”

“ Ah, then should I add another month?”

“ Excuse me, Your Majesty,” Ralph said urgently as he walked into the library, and Yuno turned from his wife to his Guard Captain.

“ What is it, Ralph?”

“ The Nobles and merchants are waiting for you,” Ralph said, making Yuno sigh and shake his head, he really didn’t want to deal with this right now. But if he didn’t, he knew they would all get angry and wouldn’t leave until they saw him.

He stood up and then helped his wife to stand. He kissed the top of her head and told her that he would try to talk to Miku later before he followed Ralph out of the library and to his office.

As soon as he walked into his office, he was inundated with loud voices and shouting from the nobles and merchants. He sat down in his office chair and quietly listened to their worries and concerns about shipping and selling things to Lumi and the other countries. He listened as they demanded protection from the Mage Defense Force, and that if they didn’t get it, then they would have to hire mercenaries, which would cost them more time and money.

And as soon as Yuno was about to snap at them, the office grew dark, making everyone pause in confusion. Yuno and Ralph looked at each other for a moment before they looked out the window, it was mid-afternoon so…

Why was the moon out?

-------

Thank you all so much for reading and I hope you all have a good day~!

#black clover fanfiction #children of the future shadows of the past #black clover oc #oc; alistar #oc; ulla #oc; hikari #oc; josele #oc; miku #oc neva #yuno grinberryall #yami sukehiro #charlotte roselei #william vangeance #nacht faust

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thylacinetears · 2 years ago

Text

I've taken forever to post this, but here's my full ESC2023 ranking!

With comments and scores out of 10! Long post obvs:

#37 Romania: DGT - Theodor Andrei: (0.5) Gross, boring, just all-around terrible. The staging is awful. The singing is bad ("aLL oF YouR DEmoNs coMe SCREEEMIMANNEHHH" haunts my dreams). The lyrics are gross, and the attempt at wordplay doesn't even make sense? All of it is trying so, so hard to be sexy and failing miserably. Half a point for having some Romanian, but that's it.

#36 San Marino: Like An Animal - Piqued Jacks: (1.0) Worst singer this year and it's not even close. The lyrics are also terrible and kinda give me creepy vibes. 100 songs in the national final and this is the best they can get? But it does get one point for having a pretty good instrumental, and the drummer is killing it.

#35 Albania: Duje - Albina & Familja Kelmendi: (2.0) Really overdramatic. I don't like the instrumental, it's way too sparse and random. The message is meant to be pro-family but it just comes off as anti-divorce? But the intention is nice, and Albania having a song in their own language for once is nice.

#34 Greece: What They Say - Victor Vernicos: (2.5) Just generic. There's not much I can say about this song because I forget it every time I stop listening. It's not intolerable to listen to, I guess?

#33 Germany: Blood & Glitter - Lord of the Lost: (2.5) It's unique, but somehow really boring. I don’t really like this genre so I'm biased, but this is just noise to me.

#32 Switzerland: Watergun - Remo Forrer: (3.0) Nice voice and piano, but wtf is Switzerland doing singing about war? I don't like the lyrical execution of the concept at all. Definitely not a fan.

#31 Malta: Dance (our own party) - The Busker: (3.5) It's a nice sax riff, but they run it into the goddamn ground. The rest of the song just isn't very good. It's cool, but kinda annoying.

#30 Ireland: We Are One - Wild Youth: (3.5) Also very generic, but it has a nice arena-pop sound to it. The message is well-intentioned, though so incredibly overdone.

#29 Lithuania: Stay - Monika Linkyte: (4.0) Nice concept, but it just sounds really bland to me. I don't really know what I don't like about this song, but it just doesn't click with me.

#28 Denmark: Breaking My Heart - Reiley: (4.0) It is very much corporate TikTok bait. But there is a good song underneath all that, and I actually like the vocoder.

#27 Croatia: Mama SC - Let 3: (5.0) Yeah, it's very weird. I don't like the repetition, but I do unironically like the instrumental in the "Onaj mali psihopat" part. Not the best novelty/political song, but not the worst - solid 5/10.

#26 Azerbaijan: Tell Me More - TuralTuranX: (5.5) I like it, it's quite nice and feel-good. But it seems like a complete rip-off of Something Good by Bic Runga?

#25 Poland: Solo - Blanka: (5.5) Ignoring the context and that live performance… It's a bop! It's not super original but it's really catchy and fun.

#24 Israel: Unicorn - Noa Kirel: (6.0) Kinda disappointing, after all the hype. (Why couldn't she have saved Thought About That for ESC instead!) But it has a nice chorus, and some good hooks.

#23 United Kingdom: I Wrote A Song - Mae Muller: (6.0) Very British, and very pop! But that chorus just doesn't really hit for me, and I'm not a fan of the spoken word part.

#22 Cyprus: Break a Broken Heart - Andrew Lambrou: (6.0) This is actually a banger though! I'm biased because Australia, but still. Simple concept but good execution.

#21 Georgia: Echo - Iru: (6.0) No, I don't know what on earth is going on in the lyrics either - guess that's just Georgia though. I love the drama of the instrumental, and Iru has a really powerful voice!

#20 Portugal: Ai Coracao - Mimicat: (6.5) It's cool! I love the culture, and Mimicat has a great voice. But for some reason it doesn't really click with me.

#19 Moldova: Soarele si luna - Pasha Parfeni: (6.5) I'm usually a big fan of the folktronica entries, but this doesn't quite hook me as much as Fulenn or SHUM. But it's still pretty good, and I love the concept of the lyrics!

#18 Serbia: Samo mi se spava - Luke Black: (7.0) Super unique! It's good, it's just that there's so many good entries this year, so it doesn't stand out so much. Gives me Grimes vibes, like a hybrid of Violence and My Name Is Dark.

#17 Belgium: Because Of You - Gustaph: (7.0) So incredibly unapologetically queer, and I love it for that. Such a fun song, makes me want to get up and dance!

#16 Iceland: Power - Dilja: (7.0) Uplifting, upbeat, poppy - this season needed a song like this. She absolutely kills those vocals, too!

#15 Italy: Due Vite - Marco Mengoni: (7.5) Really gorgeous and emotional, with incredibly beautiful lyrics. I get chills when that second chorus comes in, honestly. But it's just not quite as good as Italy's other entries.

#14 Armenia: Future Lover - Brunette: (7.5) Has a real 2000s pop/RnB diva vibe, and I love the lyrics. The instrumental is amazing, and I love the blend of genres.

#13 Ukraine: Heart Of Steel - TVORCHI: (7.5) I love the RnB groove mixing with the dramatic violins! It's really grown on me since it was first released, it's just super slick.

#12 Austria: Who the Hell is Edgar? - Teya & Salena: (7.5) So wacky, and yet such a bop. It manages to successfully balance a hilarious concept, catchy beat, and somehow a serious and relevant message? I actually can't believe they managed it. Well done, enjoy your gas station champagne from me streaming it, lmao.

#11 Latvia: Aija - Sudden Lights: (8.0) There's no other song like it this year (or maybe any year!), and I love its post-rock sound. However I admit that at least 50% of why I love this song is that outro.

#10 Norway: Queen of Kings - Alessandra: (8.0) THE pop banger we needed! I love the electronic bassline and Alessandra's incredible vocals.

#9 Australia: Promise - Voyager: (8.0) Not at all my genre, but I love it! That electronic intro and his vocals are everything. I don't like the scream after the second chorus, but the rest is amazing.

#8 Czechia: My Sister's Crown - Vesna: (8.5) Unique, cultural, powerful, and arguably the best chorus of the year. Those harmonies, man. Czechia is absolutely killing it at the moment.

#7 Estonia: Bridges - ALIKA: (8.5) This makes me really emotional, as I definitely relate to the lyrics. But even without considering that, this is just everything good about ballads - gorgeous piano, excellent vocals, and beautifully convincing delivery.

#6 Spain: Eaea - Blanca Paloma: (9.0) I'm so glad Spain went traditional this year. Hypnotising, gentle and yet powerful. The imagery of the lyrics is so beautiful, and of course Blanca's incredible voice carries the whole thing.

#5 Netherlands: Burning Daylight - Mia Nicolai & Dion Cooper: (9.0) The Netherlands continues its sad era with this gorgeous song. I love the two voices, the lyrics, the slightly detuned piano... But most of all I love the outro - I relate to it so much.

#4 Finland: Cha Cha Cha - Kaarija: (9.0) THE icon of the season. This really is worth the hype - fun, dancey, crazy, party! It really hits its stride in the second half, but honestly I just love the whole thing.

#3 France: Evidemment - La Zarra: (9.5) I'm a France stan, what can I say! But they just keep sending quality - from the dramatic intro to that incredible disco-pop beat drop to the amazing bridge.

#2 Slovenia: Carpe Diem - Joker Out: (9.5) Basically my favourite from the beginning! It puts you in a good mood from the first line, and just keeps the energy all the way through to the end. My favourite part is the guitar solo after the first chorus leading into the second verse. It's so cool...

#1 Sweden: Tattoo - Loreen: (10.0) Right in my dance-pop loving heart. Loreen is truly like no other - a once-in-a-generation performer. When that second chorus hits... It's almost too perfect. But I love how there's that unusual chord progression to keep you interested, too. There's just nothing to fault about it, I love every single second!

#eurovision #esc 2023 #eurovision song contest #eurovision ranking #eurovision 2023

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fiymywings · 2 months ago

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i wont drag this out too long i prommy but i just wanna get some of my ymkr thoughts out

the one thing im most sad about ymkr eos'ing is, karma and alma genuinely were one of the better (i wont say one of the best since "best" in context to a very personal disorder that changes person to person is very very subjective) DID reps, esp in mobage

karma isnt this murderous evil dude and he doesnt attack people at random or for fun or anything, hes cold sure but its very clear in story he holds resentment towards the world and himself for being the "evil" that he feels alma cant bare to hold himself and talks a lot about just wanting to disappear once his job is over which i think is smth that resonates with quite a few alters that hold onto the trauma of the system and protect the host both in one

alma isnt scared or afraid of karma either, both because of his own personality and emma's own word that karma isnt a bad guy

i also really liked that switch triggers didnt feel too janky, though it did lead to me also getting jumpscared With emma when karma did show up but i much prefer that over a 10 second thing where someone yells "HES MORBING!!!" or overemphasis on the switch, sometimes switches do feel overdramatic but a lot of the times it just kinda happens

and to reiterate on my point from "karma isnt murderous", while he does attack people in some of the stories, a lot of it is justified in that alma is about to get seriously injured and hes often trying to de-escalate with no results. this is Wildly Different from media where say the alter is killing people to relieve stress (COUGH.) or just attacks people for being mildly annoying (COUGH .) protective alters, surprisingly, tend to be much more harsher or strict on perceived threats than random people! thats their whole job!

i know from experience some people tend to be iffy on the whole two alter only system format but i really truly dont think the alter count really matters, CPTSD does tend to cause more issues with your identity in context to dissassociation but if someone only developed one extra person in their noggin despite everything then more power to them, im Still splitting even in my mid 20's because of horrific depressive episodes alongside me recovering from some other trauma i experienced

this doesnt necessarily make the 2 alter thing Unrealistic, but its a testament to how strong they are at heart and moreover how strong their traumaholder is for having kept themselves together and helping the system move together as only two. obviously some people will also only have some issue with the same trauma while others will develop really bad issues (i.e. alma developing a system from his families death while hollow seemingly only developed OCD tendencies as a trauma response)

i think the difference of circumstance kinda matters here because almas case was a genuine arson due to slander while hollows case was a genuine accident that he holds guilt over unknowingly feeling like if he'd just taken the machines apart the fire wouldnt have happened (speculation! i dont know if he ever actually came to this conclusion yet but ... well :,) )

ANYWAY . going forward due to my lack of knowledge on the main story i hesitate to say i'll continue to write alma and karma's/hollow's story in plot to ymkr, but i cant really bare to leave them behind either, so ill probably just keep writing them with my oc/sona (oc for hollow, sona for alma/karma) and continue developing them within what i can !!! i'll love them forever and no service end will ever change that for me \o/

again, i'll be trying to archive their things, but i will have to do so cautiously because my phone storage isnt infinite...

i don't know, i think i just need some time T_T;; this isnt the only thing i'm kinda grieving the loss of in the span of a few weeks, though as silly as it is considering the game isnt living breathing, because its so personal to me im actually feeling a bit pained about it + the back to back losses is kinda taking a toll on me so i'll just be logging in and doing what i can... ill start archiving in october since i have quite a bit of time to grind and get the last meister pieces to fully max out the recent hollow

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blizzardtheartisticfox · 3 months ago

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🎨 wip ask game!

Ok. I will do this. I will. As soon as I can

6 days later:

IM HERE! I SHOULD BE DOING OTHER THINGS BUT IM HERE. Oh yeah and if you are likely to play D&D with me in real life please do not read. PLEASE.

🌍- Setting… hmmm… well we’re gonna talk about hollow tree because I need to regain motivation to work on it. The village they emerge in is very isolated. There used to be other places nearby, but they are completely abandoned. When the tree became active, most people fled the area and found another way of living, but the braver and more adventurous were, in many cases, forced to stay behind. Many generations have passed since then, so the people only know that there were inhabitants of those towns at some point in the past, and that they left because of the tree.

👑 - Rulers. When everyone left, the adventurer’s guild sort of.. took over in many ways. People turned to them for guidance, and the leaders of the guild now control most affairs of the town. This does mean that some abilities of trained rulers, such as monitoring production and keeping crime rates down were half-lost in the transition, and at this point, the leaders in the essential crafts are included in the ruling class, and the adventurer’s guild has lost some of its initial influence.

🏆- So, the end goal. This is kind of muddled because this is brainstorming for a D&D campaign but. The village is afraid of this tree because it leaks raw chaos magic (leaks may have been the wrong word but I’m keeping it now!). If the tree is left alone for too long, with no one traveling into it, monsters will emerge from the tree to attack the town, and occassionally, someone in the town will disappear into the tree during these attacks. Theoretically, the goal of the adventurers (in this case, Grian, Scar, and Gem) would be to stop these invasions and stop the seeping of chaos magic into the world by killing or destroying the source. This gets… a tad complicated.

⌛️- I’m honestly not quite sure what time period this takes place in. I think the realm in the tree is somewhat outside of time, and the village is advanced enough to have writing and whatnot. It’s probably sort of like medieval times, but… this isn’t Earth and everything developed differently

⛪️ - There are a couple of religions within the village. Although, it might be more accurate to call the majority of them cults. There is a dominant religion which I don’t think I’m going to go into too much, but it’s polytheistic and the clash of chaos and order is important. When the tree appeared, the group split, with most people believing that the attacks came as some sort of punishment from a god of death or something, but some people believing that the tree was a manifestation of some unknown and very powerful deity. The latter group devoted themselves to the tree and sought ways to appease it, rules shifting and changing when members were taken. The other group regarded the tree with fear, and most accepted its judgement as random, some seeking to pretend the tree was not there in the hopes that it would ignore them. Oddly enough, this didn’t not work.

Oh yeah and there’s also an underground cult for shits and giggles that worships the lane-oiling machine at a bowling alley. Idk if I will include this in the fic but it will be discoverable in the campaign.

💥- The conflict is definitely between the town/adventurers and the tree and it’s inhabitants. I don’t know what else to say about this. Words.

💣- The climax is triggered by two characters you haven’t met yet, who will be played by Etho and Joel. When they determine that Grian, Scar, and Gem have the abilities, they will lead the group deeper into the forest to find the creature who is causing all of this.

🤫- Big spoiler out of context? It’s just, like, some random old person. And they’ve been asleep the whole time.

🦋- This is hard. Because it’s a D&D campaign, the main characters can’t really have a lot of transformation- that’s determined by the players. The one NPC who I can say has a great deal of character development is Joel and Etho’s son. I can’t decide whether this is gonna be X, Mumbo, or Bdubs. We’ll see. He gets a little more fun at the end though. The other character who would have good development isn’t in the fic, soooo

🤒 - Is there a whump in the wip? See, this is even more difficult because I do plan on almost playing the campaign myself as I go through it. So yeah, someone might almost die or something. There will be stress. NPC friends might die depending on if we make friends with them. We’ll see!

🎧- Oddly enough, I do not have a playlist for this yet. So hold on while I think. It’ll be fast for you but not for me. This is taking a long time but I have one: Afraid of Quiet by Lydia the Bard and Ben Tomalin applies to the creature causing the chaos. Won’t Give Into Darkness by CK9C, but more Won’t Give Into Chaos technically. What words there are fit pretty well. OH! The Milk Carton by Madilyn Mei FITS SO WELL. That’s three. It took me like an hour 😅

🐱- The animals. So on the same side, the animals are fairly normal. They are far more susceptible to the chaos than fully conscious people, so they aren’t often kept as pets and animal farming and hunting is impacted significantly by the fact that animals occassionally go crazy and start attacking everything. On the chaos side, animals generally look rough, and the fauna consists mostly of monsters and of animals who went crazy or were taken during attacks.

🤝- Clearly the adventurers met when they entered the tree to play the newest Decked Out, and they meet shopkeepers as they explore the village. They meet Etho, Joel, and [undetermined]’s characters soon after entering back into the tree the first time. Most of the initial paths lead to their cottage. Perhaps I will write this bit sooner rather than later. I need to stop limiting myself to writing chronologically. As to how they meet the “antagonist” [undetermined] leads them to see it. I really don’t know whether they’re going to speak to each other or not.

🥀- Yea, I think I mentioned this earlier. Characters will die. No characters played by HC members will die, but likeable full-NPC characters will die. I’m not giving you any more specifics yet..

👀- piece of lore I really want to share? Etho and Joel play old gay grandfathers and Joel’s character has a violently blue fashion sense.

🕳️ - Plot holes. Uhhh… I’ll bet there are some but I am not far enough into the writing to have found any I don’t know how to patch up. 🌑 - Symbolism! I’d love to say I’d thought about that! There will be a creaky bridge! Simple things like darkness = danger, light generally being safe, but neon colors, which will often glow, are contradictory, also representing danger. I might try to use which plants are in an area to represent things. We’ll see.

🔮 - Magic system? Erm.. it’s D&D. So uh. Yes? Scar is going to be a wizard. I feel like I’ve already explains anything that might deviate from that base.

🎨 - OOOOHHH DARK GOOPY PURPLE AND VIBRANT GREEN. Also wood texture.

💡- Inspiration! So, the whole thing was actually inspired by a dream I had, which, oddly, I can still remember as vividly as it originally was months and months ago. Then I went, “Oh! D&D!” And then “Book for brainstorming!” And then “ooo what if fanfic?!” And that’s how this happened.

AND IM FINALLY DONE! Thanks for the ask Varteeny! Link to og post: https://www.tumblr.com/the-finch-address/688729684165459968/get-to-know-the-wip-ask-game?source=share

#hermitcraft #fanfiction #hollow tree fanfic #d&d #dnd campaign brainstorming #writeblr #<- is that allowed on fanfic brainstorming?#bliz says words #Long post

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boreal-sea · 1 year ago

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Hi, trans person here who hates TERFs.

"First and foremost is that people use the 'TERF' descriptor for opinions that are in no way linked to radical feminism or feminism in general."

I agree. Many folks have taken TERF out of context as a synonym for "transphobe". For someone to be a TERF, they have to be a radical feminist.

"TERFs support homophobes/anti-abortion activists/racists, a claim with no basis in reality...and ignores that many radical feminists are lesbian or bisexual, and are of every race."

Actually there's a lot of basis for this in reality. Sure, there are lesbian/bisexual TERFs, but in reality, studies have shown that lesbians in particular are the most trans inclusive part of the LGBTQ spectrum. There are plenty of straight radfems, and plenty of radfems who are just "political lesbians".

And yes, there are radical feminists of color. But in the USA specifically, racism is a really big problem in the radfem community. It's literally part of the reason why intersectional feminism was born. And you can just do a search here on Tumblr and find plenty of evidence of white women being incredibly racist towards black men simply because they can, under the guise of "feminism".

Plus, I hate to tell you, but there are TERFs quoting Hitler out in public at TERF rallies. NAZIs are showing up at these rallies because they see that TERFs share at least one shared goal with them: eradicating trans people.

"Secondly, advocating shit language like 'uterus havers' or 'menstruators' does not help anyone...it's usually overenthusiastic non-trans 'allies' that push for it."

Honestly I've never actually seen anyone use phrases like that in any serious capacity, trans or cis. I mostly just see transphobic women complaining about it.

"Third, I've seen the word 'TERF' thrown about for opinions that are nothing to do with trans at all."

I haven't seen that but if you have, then I believe it has happened. I think it's probably a far smaller issue than you think. Now, are there a lot of things you listed that are red flags that someone might be a radfem or a TERF? Yeah, honestly.

I do not find very many pro-trans feminists who are also anti-porn and anti-sex-worker -- being transphobic and being against sex work and porn generally go hand in hand.

"Fourth, if you really want to help trans people, attacking radical feminists is the lowest hanging fruit there is."

Yeah, but it's fun, and I don't spend time on Tumblr to be miserable, that's what my day job is for.

"It's objective fact that men (and more specifically, non-trans heterosexual and bisexual men) are the ones committing the vast majority of transphobic violence."

Do you have sources for that?

"If you really want to help trans people: * Call out the male violence that threatens them every day"

Can you phrase that in a way that isn't bioessentialist and transphobic towards literally every trans person on the planet? Some trans women are male. Some trans men are male. Some genderqueer people are male. Literally any trans person you meet could be male, so what is this "male violence" you're talking about?

"But 'TERFs' really don't hold the power that the Internet would have you believe they do."

Yeah, the random TERF on tumblr probably doesn't, but some of them DO. These people harm trans people in real life. These people vote, these people are famous authors, these people donate thousands of dollars to anti-trans legislature, these people are in office. They are, on a day to day basis, absolutely trying to make trans people's lives worse.

Hot take, but I'm convinced that the majority of people who love to demonise 'TERFs' don't actually give a stuff about trans rights and are just using it as an excuse to shit on women without being called on their misogyny.

Why do I say this? Several reasons.

First and foremost is that people use the 'TERF' descriptor for opinions that are in no way linked to radical feminism or feminism in general. The more terminally online elements of Twitter/Tik Tok/etc. would have you believe that TERFs support homophobes/anti-abortion activists/racists, a claim with no basis in reality (seriously who thinks that anti-abortion advocates would EVER ally with radical feminists or vice versa?) and ignores that many radical feminists are lesbian or bisexual, and are of every race.

Secondly, advocating shit language like 'uterus havers' or 'menstruators' does not help anyone, trans or otherwise, and is dehumanising towards women and AFAB trans people alike. Almost no trans people I know want it either- it's usually overenthusiastic non-trans 'allies' that push for it.

Third, I've seen the word 'TERF' thrown about for opinions that are nothing to do with trans at all, including being critical of porn or sex work, or any opinion that isn't part of the 'acceptable' mainstream. It's starting to lose all meaning.

Fourth, if you really want to help trans people, attacking radical feminists is the lowest hanging fruit there is. It's objective fact that men (and more specifically, non-trans heterosexual and bisexual men) are the ones committing the vast majority of transphobic violence and are the biggest pushers of laws that hurt trans people and prevent them getting the healthcare they need.

If you really want to help trans people:

* Call out the people with actual power in society that would cause them harm.

* Call out the male violence that threatens them every day

* If you can afford it, donate money to trans inclusive homeless or domestic violence shelters that support the most disenfranchised trans people of all

* Tackle the many bullshit misconceptions about trans people that still exist in society

Are there radical feminists that hold shitty, transphobic views? Absolutely. But 'TERFs' really don't hold the power that the Internet would have you believe they do, and outside of the odd rude comment online, they aren't out there attacking trans people, going out of their way to make their lives worse etc.

If you believe 'TERFs' are your biggest enemy, in honesty you need to spend less time online and more time focussing on the issues that will improve trans rights in the long term.

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emdotcom · 2 years ago

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Made (bad?) motivational images out of quotes that bounce around in my skull like the DVD screensaver.

“Felix. I need you to pick up the phone. Now.” -- Jack Walten, the Walten Files.

“Have these statements always been true? Or have I cursed you? Is such a thing possible? A curse that changes your past?” -- ???, Petscop

“Like a thunderclap to a small dog... I felt a strange powerlessness... Countless wonderful things were happening... ‘I want to be kinder.” -- Toby Fox I had to horribly misrepresent this quote to get it to fit. GO read the full post where they say this.

“There’s just no peace for me, anymore.” -- Wolverine, X-Men: The Animated Series (1992-1997)

#petscop #twf #the walten files #jack walten #rainer petscop #undertale #yeah i think these actually say something abt me. not sure what other than i have trauma lmao #the last one i heard when i was like 8 & it stuck with me too hard even though i didn't realize why #i have always attributed that specific petscop quote to rainer as the maker of the game but lmk if that's wrong or whatever #anyhow proud pilferer of gettyimages i love open source #i made these in krita in like 30 mins & the 2nd one made it crash #v inspired by that one time everyone was posting around inspirational images w/ the 'i survived bc the fire within me burned brighter #than the fire around me' quote which was from a video game & was meant literally #the power of some of these is that random words taken out of context can mean a lot #but these are all special bc of the context around them!#the 'felix i need you to pick up the phone scene' is so strong. can't say more bc i detest spoiling #'have these statements always been true or have i cursed you?' is a character trying to explain a day shrouded in mystery #trying to put the viewer in the mindset of a little girl that experienced something she never told in full to anybody #to get them to imagine what happened to her on that day #but it also is directed to that girl in a way. reminding her of something that never happened but did occur.#in full context the toby fox quote is about the terror of creating something that becomes bigger than you could imagine very quickly #combined with the fact that he had once begged content creators not to cover the game it paints a picture #but also he is talking about what good undertale did for the world & in turn him #& in the last one. wolverine has nothing. he has nobody. he has no name. he is naked and covered in blood.#he has just attacked a woman. she is the first person he is seen in months if not years.#he does not know why he has attacked her. she has done nothing to provoke him. it is simply that his mind is so contorted by pain & fear #conditioned to fight or die that it is all he can comprehend. he has become nothing more than a bloodthirsty animal #he speaks for the first time in a long long time. he screams out into the ice & trees. 'there's just no peace for me anymore.'#this too they have taken from him.#it will get better from here. but in this crystalline moment this is what he has become

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nightferns · 3 years ago

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The Third Variant to the SootCraft Fundy and Wilbur family drama that Maybe Accidentally Started it

So yesterday me and @bigbraveboop came to the conclusion that C!fundy had an arc in early early L'manburg that we were kinda unaware of. And it cracks the case of... how the family drama started. And also is why is this exists

C!Tommy was the catalyst of the c!Fundy | c!Wilbur family drama in S1 and i promise i have proof

all /rp

So what does Fundy repeatedly say is his biggest gripe with Wilbur currently and multiple times after his death? Well:

“You were there for me for a very very long time and then when i needed you the most, you skedaddled fuck the out of my life and died. Because of what? L’manberg’s causes, huh? You thought that was- You thought that was justice? You thought that was good for me? You left me, man.’

“The dad that- my dad that exploded himself for the sake of a country, just for that country to be demolished in future hands?-"

“He put me to priority number 2, man. He put me in the second place.”

So its about L’manburg being more important than him to Wilbur.

Now lets dig deep, where did that insecurity start? Why did Fundy arrive at this conclusion? Why did he feel like this in the first place about his position in L’manburg and his Father?

We kinda assume it was always there or was because of Wilbur actually prioritizing L’manburg over his son/being negectfull. But no! Fundy was very confident in his realtionship with Wilbur and his position in L’manburg at the Start and we see tha change so!

I want to argue that this insecurity... didn't come from Wilbur or any of his actions or lack thereof. Not directly.

“Wilbur? I dunno, Wilbur’s a man of chaos, alright- due to the lore of the server, Wilbur may or may not have been the father of our nation, but- that doesn’t mean he’s for everything I do. That doesn’t mean he stands behind me, alright? Not necessarily...not necessarily.”

This is the first instance of Fundy doubting his connection to Wilbur helping things, i'd argue it still was a part of a lighhearted bit that isn’t to be taken too seriously in the context of the larger story but i realized something that made me change my mind, i mean it is still a lighthearted bit but it connects to a certain quote from uncle Innit:

“What would father think?”

And then that got me thinking and:

Part 1 aka Early L'manburg Fundy had different feelings towards Wilbur than Civil War Fundy

So how did Fundy act towars Wilbur early on?

Fundy: "Don't speak to me ma- hey that's fucked up don't talk about that. That's-"

Tommy: "Listen Th- you gotta kn- you gotta know you don't speak to the boss's son like that. Nevermind about- about the boss's wife to the boss's son in front of the boss's right hand man! You really gotta- You really gotta read the room Thunder."

Fundy: "Yea you don't. You don't."

JM: "fine ok let him do what he wants to do, i just don't wanna hear about it [..]"

Tommy: "Listen to me Fundy- Listen to me Fundy- he didn't mean that- he's just a bold man- he had- he had a little-"

Fundy [turning to JM]: "I will tell on you."

Tommy: " NO no no no Fundy- Fundy He had a little flirt with Dream- he had a little flirt with dream, he's- he's a- he's really new, he's learing his boundaries, he's over stepped them, alright, listen, but you don't have to tell Will, you don't have to tell no-one. "

[To JM] "Thunder you need to to calm your fucking- holy shit."

"-Please, please give him a rest."

JM: "no i- im sorry, im sorry, i'm sorry Fundy"

Fundy: 'I don't want this behavior again, alright."

JM: "no i wont- i wont-"

Fundy: 'Don't talk to my Dad OR my salmon Mother like that ever again, i will tell on you, keep it in mind. I have privilege to speak up against-"

JM: "i understand."

I will come back to the i have a privilege line later but first, from this we see Fundy being confident that Wilbur would take his side because he is his son. He is the “i will tell my parents about this” kid, alongside that he doesn’t feel like he has no imput in decisions, he doesnt feel insecure here he is in the position of power.

So again when did it appear?

Well,

Fundy: “I may or may not have scammed a bunch of people, including all of L’manburg people, um…”

Tommy: “You scammed L’manburg members?!”

Fundy: “But here’s the thing – I’m willing to pay you a part of the profit if you help me out here!”

Tommy: “Fundy…okay, can I tell you what’s happened from my point of view? The son of the President has gone around scamming the other presidential members, and as the Vice President whilst the President’s not on, this is my duty to make sure that this doesn’t pull apart L’manburg. And what you’re saying – what you’ve essentially just said is, ‘hey, can I bribe you?’“

Fundy: “…Can I?”

Tommy: “Jesus Christ…No, okay, we need to settle this now, ‘cause I mean if this happens on my turf, I’m gonna fucking take the blame from this from Wilbur, alright…so listen, Fundy, under no circumstances can you bribe anyone!”

Fundy: “I got two Netherite scraps?”

Tommy: “Okay, okay – explain to me what’s happened, please.”

[Fundy explains the conflict]

Tommy: “What would father think?”

Fundy: “Well, he always – he always sides…by me…obviously.”

Tommy: “Would he though? I mean, you’ve gone against the other members of the nation he fought to build.”

Fundy: “Well only because my loot has been stolen! Alright?”

Tommy: “This sounds petty, Fundy.”

Fundy: “Okay, okay, I can word this differently in my favor.”

Tommy: “No, okay, no – you’re not meant to say that out loud! Okay, I’m gonna ask Tubbo what’s happened, and then from there on we’ll – but please do not do any – we can’t have L’manburg falling out over this, alright?”

So here we see Fundy the president’s son being put in comparison to L’manburg the nation the president built for what Wilbur would prioritize for the first time, and Tommy sows the seeds that maybe L’manburg matters more to Wilbur than him, that Wilbur would choose the nation. this is also first time Fundy has been sort of excluded from the Whole of L’manburg.

and we see Tommy’s words affect Fundy,

Fundy: “We gotta list everyone who’s against me:”

“I killed Tubbo twice, I stole his bow. Tubbo’s probably against me.”

“Tommy has always been against me from the start.”

“Sapnap is against me because I killed his animals and stole them.”

“Punz is against me ‘cause I stole his bees.”

“Eret is against me ‘cause I went after Karl.”

“Karl’s against me ‘cause -- I just realized I’ve made a lot of enemies...I just realized I don’t have many -- I don’t have many allies on the server. There’s not many allies.”

“Who’s neutral? Niki! Niki is with me! Niki is friendly.”

“Wilbur? I dunno, Wilbur’s a man of chaos, alright...due to the lore of the server, Wilbur may or may not have been the father of our nation, but...that doesn’t mean he’s for everything I do. That doesn’t mean he stands behind me, alright? Not necessarily...not necessarily.”

“Quackity? Quackity’s definitely not -- no, listen, Quackity’s definitely not for me, okay. I called him a whore. There’s definitely -- there’s definitely many things Quackity has against me.”

so here is my argument... Fundy’s insecurity started with Tommy.

Part 2 Development Of Those Feelings (Uncle Tommy you’re not Helping)

Fundy, growing disillusioned with Wilbur and L’manburg, lead to this one coversation between Fundy and Wilbur,

Wilbur: Well the uh- the ballot entries have closed now.

Fundy: Who's in it?

Wilbur: Well it originally was just gonna be me and Tommy, me and Tommy tired to do it so- tried to do it so we will be the only ones running, then suddenly out of nowhere Quackity joins and enters himself on the ballot-

Fundy: Ok.

Wilbur: -so it's me and Tommy against Quackity and someone else.

Fundy: Who's someone else?

Wilbur: We don't know yet, he hasn't announced,

Fundy: Wait then- oh, so it's just a random… sneaky person who put himself in the ballot not announced who he is.

Wilbur: yeah, yeah. I mean if you wanna try and convince Quackity that you wanna run against your father.

Fundy: Yeah ok.

Wilbur: Wait, you- you wouldn't though.

Fundy: What if i win? What are- what are you gonna do?

Wilbur: Well then you'd be Vice President.

Fundy: but-What if i win?

Wilbur: Why do you want power in L'manburg so much?

Fundy: Why do you want power?

Wilbur: Because- i led the revolution, i'm your… i'm your president.

Fundy: That's history.

Wilbur: Wh- d- Do you not think i- i'm suitable to run for president?

Fundy: I think you are, but i think I am as well.

Wilbur: I don't know man. I don't- i think- i think you- i think you'd be s- i think you'd be getting into a fight you wouldn't want to start with me. You've only been on the positive side of me, you've only seen my nice side, because y'know? being my son you get- you get special- y'know? You won't ever see me going against you.

Fundy: Wait so you're a biased person going for presidency.

Wilbur: Biased to my son? Yes. But, if you're gonna run against me then i'm changing, i'll- i'll go guns blazing.

Fundy: I'll have a word with Quackity.

Wilbur: Fundy i… i've got- i've got- i've got a bad feeling about this. I think you're just gonna… you're just gonna get hurt.

Fundy: That will happen-

Wilbur: Fundy yeah- Yeah someone in my chat just pointed out, Fundy you started the civil war.

Niki: I mean technically Sapnap started the civil war.

Fundy: I mean- i mean technically- Yeah y' know, technically- and i'm gonna win it! It's fine! I mean what does he have on me, really?

Wilbur: I thought it was you fighting Tubbo?

Fundy: what?

Wilbur: I thought civil war was you and Tubbo?

Fundy: No, Tubbo's just a prick.

Wilbur: Sapnap's not even- not even part of L’manburg how is it a civil war?

Fundy: I don't know you brought it up!

Wilbur: Tommy told me- Tommy told me it was Tubbo and Fundy.

Fundy: Yeah no Tommy is a little bit delusional.

Wilbur: I think i've spoiled you.

Fundy: How?

Wilbur: I think you need to learn some manners.

Fundy: I dunno- power seems nice.

Wilbur: Fine, you can run against me, it won't end well for you but you can give it a go.

Fundy: Like i said i'll- i'll have a word with Quackity i'll think of my actions, see what will happen, i'm not saying necessarily that i'll go against you, then again i'm not standing beside you because you may or may not be the father of L'manburg

Wilbur: And you! The father of you!

Fundy: That's irrelevant. To-

Wilbur: No it's not irrelevant! It's very relevant to this!

Fundy: I don't- i don't think that's relevant to presidency

I’ll talk over Wilburs pov here in a little bit but focusing on Fundy,

He wants to run, other than everything we established before here Fundy wants to run to prove himself to himself, and we see the other part of this conflict more internally is,

(“[..] may or may not be the father of L'manburg- “ , “ That's irrelevant.” )

Well, here is the insecurity about Wilbur choosing L’manburg (here his position as president) over Fundy, the being second place to L’manburg part matters here becasue i think this is where Wilbur and Fundy fundamentally clash, so Fundy doesn’t want for it to matter to Wilbur, he doesn’t want for his position as son to have any influence over Wilbur here beacuse of this fear that that’s why he may be in the second place.

now let’s move on to,

Uncle Tommy ‘helps’

Fundy: “I’m wearing glasses…are you making fun of my eyesight?!”

Tommy: “Yes.”

Sapnap: “Your father would be very disappointed.”

Fundy: “Wh – disappointed for wearing glasses?!”

Tommy: “You got glasses, like what are you wearing…”

Fundy: “What do you mean?”

Tommy: “Sapnap, Sapnap, over here. Fundy, Fundy, Fundy, I’m really sorry to say this – I’m just here to publicly denounce you.”

Fundy: “…What?”

Tommy: “I just, I – yeah. You’re stinky, you’re shitty, the fur that’s sewn onto your skin, I look at it and I go (retching sounds) And whilst you’re a lovely guy, you’re actually not, you’re really…and all the viewers are like ‘oh no!’ But they can’t smell you. I can! Holy shit, you know? I mean you know, Sapnap…”

Fundy: “I showered two hours before the stream…”

Tommy: “I know, and that’s what makes it so remarkable, how you smell that terrible.”

Fundy: “I used coconut oil…it smells good…”

…

Tommy: “Fundy, I’m just here to kinda let you know that I – if you weren’t Wilbur’s son, you would be out of L’manburg, alright? Just remember – you need to keep that relationship with your father. I saw how asshole-y and bratty you were acting in the courtroom the other night. You need to pull your shit together young man.”

Fundy: “Being neutral is – is asshole?”

Tommy: “Yes. Come with me, Sapnap. Yeah, I’ve denounced you – well no no no, you were challenging him. You were challenging him.”

Fundy: “Denounced to what?”

Tommy: “I just – it’s just a formal way of saying you suck.”

(Tommy and Sapnap leave)

Fundy: “…They are mean…They are mean! Why are they so mean? That is so mean…”

Fundy: “Listen, it is one thing making fun of a person’s appearance…it is one thing making fun of a person’s blindness, but hey – don’t fucking make fun of my coconut oil! Listen dude…that shit smells tasty! That smells good! Man…that’s…god…coconut oil, man…dude.“

…

Fundy: “TNT their houses? That will just prove their point, chat. That will just prove their point. That will just prove their point…they’re just mean. They’re so mean. But it is okay, chat. It is okay. The reason why it’s okay…that’s actually true. Why is he talking to the enemy? Wait…wait a minute. Wait a minute! So let me get the story straight real quick.”

“Chat…just hold up a second here! Hold on a second! So Tommy is demoting me, right? And he’s saying you’re only in L’manburg because of Wil. So Tommy says…in theory, he would kick me out if he had the chance. But considering that, while he’s together with Sapnap…it leads me to believe…Tommy wants to destroy L’manburg!”

“Why would he do that? Why would he team up with Sapnap? He had no correlation with this conversation at all. What was the reason for that?”

“…Do we have another traitor in our midst?”

…

Fundy: “Listen, Tommy, here’s a really interesting theory, alright…here’s an interesting theory, Tommy. I got a little theory on my mind! Listen, boy, we’re part of L’manburg, you and me. Wil as well, Tubbo, all of us, alright? And we’re supposed to be a union! Now here’s the thing! Here’s the thing. If you said, due to Wilbur I’m still basically part of L’manburg – in other terms saying that if it was on your hands you would get me out of there, right, why would you excessively bring Sapnap, out of all people, for that conversation alone?”

Tommy: “Shall I explain to you? It’s because, Fundy, we fucking need votes, Fundy. We need votes! This Quack City guy, son of BadBoyHalo? He’s just – he’s just, like, oh my god. We needed votes. And listen, Fundy–”

Fundy: “You basically just lost my vote, and I feel like that’s your purpose!”

Tommy: “You’re in L’manburg! You vote for us already – you vote for your own father, don’t be an idiot!”

Fundy: “I feel like you’re trying to bring us apart, Tommy. I feel like your goals are not supportive towards L’manburg at the moment…”

Tommy: “From my perspective, Sapnap hates you, Fundy. Sapnap hates you. And if I go listen, if I had to tier list all of the members of L’manburg, Fundy would be in D tier. He needs to hear that.”

Fundy: “…Tommy, are you Eret?”

Post the court debate Fundy was more decided on running on his own,

“Honestly, I feel like everything just needs to change. Honestly, I feel like neither of the parties have done enough right to deserve leadership, to deserve presidency in the first place. I feel like a lot of shit needs to change.”

Fundy didnt want to endorse any of the parties, SWAG2020 was endorsed by Dream, and he belived POG2020 to be corrupt because of the bribing Karl situation, so he was more keen on running on his own, and then came the public denouncing situaion.

Obviously Fundy was hurt by this, especially considering Sapnap was his enemy, and Tommy’s words didnt do Fundy’s and Wilburs already shaky relationship many favours, but his behaviour both pushed Fundy futher away from the POG party, and started Fundy’s ‘traitor Tommy’ theory that he shared with Niki after which the Coconut2020 party was formed.

Part 3 Wilbur is a oblivious dumbass but it makes sense now.

now lets look at Wilburs pov of things, which means we are coming back to the privilege line,

-----

JM: "no i- im sorry, im sorry, i'm sorry Fundy"

Fundy: 'I don't want this behavior again, alright."

JM: "no i wont- i wont-"

Fundy: 'Don't talk to my Dad OR my salmon Mother like that ever again, i will tell on you, keep it in mind. I have privilege to speak up against-"

JM: "i understand."

So coming back to this quote, i belive Wilbur didnt realize Fundy had these doubts about thier relationship, because he was used to Fundy sharing his problems with him, and he was left kinda drifting in an ‘why is my son suddenly against me now??’

Wilbur didnt realize Fundy’s feelings about him had changed, as in Fundy no longer WOULD come to him if he had any probems, because Fundy used to come to him with problems, ("I will tell on you.") But Tommy’s first comment knocked him down and the debate and the Sapnap-Tommy situation had as well and the denouncement, (which Wilbur also knew shit about) because he was already insecure about his place in L’manburg and Wilbur. AND he wouldn't come to Wilbur like he used to because Wilbur was the point of his insecurity even if he wasnt the couse of it.

So we see Wilbur kinda be sad and confused and misstepping becasue of that,

Fundy: Wait so you're a biased person going for presidency.

Wilbur: Biased to my son? Yes. But, if you're gonna run against me then i'm changing, i'll- i'll go guns blazing.

Fundy: I'll have a word with Quackity.

Wilbur: Fundy i… i've got- i've got- i've got a bad feeling about this. I think you're just gonna… you're just gonna get hurt.

------

Wilbur: Tommy told me- Tommy told me it was Tubbo and Fundy.

Fundy: Yeah no Tommy is a little bit delusional.

Wilbur: I think i've spoiled you.

Fundy: How?

Wilbur: I think you need to learn some manners.

Fundy: I dunno- power seems nice.

Wilbur: Fine, you can run against me, it won't end well for you but you can give it a go.

-----

Wilbur: Wait, look who’s coming, look who’s coming.

Tommy: Uh oh!

Wilbur: My son. My boy.

Tommy: Your ex-son.

Wilbur: Yeah. Well, I mean, he’s still my son in blood, but, he’s just…

Tommy: You should put him up.

Wilbur: What d’you mean, put him up? What, for adoption?

Tubbo: For adoption.

Tommy: Yeah. You should see if Big Q will adopt him.

[They discuss Fundy’s Twitch Prime cape. He runs up on stage, to the microphone, and starts punching the air. He’s not in the same vc as them.]

Wilbur: What’s he doing, what’s he doing- what is this? What is this bit? What is he doing?

Tommy: What the fuck are you- no.

Wilbur: He’s just not- he’s not- he’s really upsetting me.

Tommy: Just- just- he’s not President is he? He’s got no manners, he has no manners. No etiquette.

Wilbur: Look, he’s supposed to be my son.

[Wilbur types in chat: “fundy talk to me” and Fundy immediately leaves the game.]

Tubbo: He is trying.

Tommy: Tubbo, you’re gonna get murdered, my friend.

Wilbutr: He said, he said, “I am here for the Presidencialcy-” He just left.

Tommy: And then he- [sighs] I’m so sorry you have to deal with him.

W: I don’t- I- It’s really sad, like I… Honestly, I- when he turned around to me and he said he wasn’t gonna vote for me, and then he decided he was gonna vote for the opposition, and then he decided he was gonna run against me, that was- one of those was the straw that broke my back. I’m not sure which one- I’m still contemplating which one was the- are you listening?

[Tommy has jumped off the podium to join Tubbo in the audience.]

Tpmmy: Yeah, I’m going down to Tubbo, I just- I’m just letting you vent, Wilbur, I want you to have time to vent.

Wilbur: Yeah I just- I miss me son! I miss me son! I miss when he was my boy! Do you remember when he was my boy?

Tommy: Yeah, I’m not really good at handling… People who are emotional.

Wilbur also didn’t know anything about the denouncement situation,

Sapnap: “Will you continue to have your son banished from L’Manberg if I vote for you?”

Wilbur: “My son. My- My son. Look, we’re talking about politics here, I don’t want to talk about my family, if that’s alright. … I would like to say, thank you, Sapnap, for the question, I very much appreciate it, but I’m not gonna be fielding responses about my family situation, thank you.” (Alivebur)

*Wilbur proceeds to step off the podium and cry*

Wilbur: “Fundy...!”

Besides that fundamenatally Fundys and Wilburs views about the presidency oppose eachother,

“Tommy, I’m- I’m- I’m- I don’t know what to do, Tommy, I’ve never not been President.”

Fundy sees Wilbur and L'manburg as two separate things that he has to unfiairly contest with and for

1. for Wilbur because of his fears, for a place among L’manburg members

2. Because He wants to prove himself to himself. he needs to know what Tommy said, isn’t true/he can thrive regardless without his fathers support he can still be a great member of L’manburg and even a president

Wilbur sees himself as inherently connected trough L’manburg with everyone to the point that he thinks that without his position he cant do anything for his loved ones/ he wont be usefull. he thinks of l’manburg as something he does FOR all of them including Fundy.

“My son… My son is tearing down the walls, in front of me! My son is tearing down the walls in front of me! The walls I built to keep him safe! I promised him this world, Tommy, I promised him this world.”

----

“Fundy was the closest thing I had to something I cared about in L’Manberg, when it all began. You know, when it started, the closest thing to anything I cared about was Fundy. Fundy was my, he was my, he was my boy! My rock!”

----

Ranboo: "I don't know if they actually needed me, but I was there.(about his work in the NLM cabinet)"

Wilbur:"I know that feel."

This why Fundy and Wilbur clash fundamentally here,

Wilbur: And you! The father of you!

Fundy: That's irrelevant. To-

Wilbur: No it's not irrelevant! It's very relevant to this!

Fundy: I don't- i don't think that's relevant to presidency

Part 4 Tommy WHY? (he is propably protective and and a tiny bit jealous )

----

Tommy: “Hey, you know about Fundy’s little rebellious stage he’s going through?”

----

Fundy: “You basically just lost my vote, and I feel like that’s your purpose!”

Tommy: “You’re in L’manburg! You vote for us already – you vote for your own father, don’t be an idiot!”

Fundy: “I feel like you’re trying to bring us apart, Tommy. I feel like your goals are not supportive towards L’manburg at the moment…”

----

Wilbur: Wait, look who’s coming, look who’s coming.

Tommy: Uh oh!

Wilbur: My son. My boy.

Tommy: Your ex-son.

Wilbur: Yeah. Well, I mean, he’s still my son in blood, but, he’s just…

Tommy: You should put him up.

Wilbur: What d’you mean, put him up? What, for adoption?

Tubbo: For adoption

---

Wilbur: He said, he said, “I am here for the Presidencialcy-” He just left.

Tommy: And then he- [sighs] I’m so sorry you have to deal with him.

[Tommy has jumped off the podium to join Tubbo in the audience.]

Tommy: Yeah, I’m going down to Tubbo, I just- I’m just letting you vent, Wilbur, I want you to have time to vent.

Wilbur: Yeah I just- I miss me son! I miss me son! I miss when he was my boy! Do you remember when he was my boy?

Tommy: Yeah, I’m not really good at handling… People who are emotional.

Besides Tommy genuinely wanting to get more votes during the dennoucemnt situation, his seconddary motive was well, he was protective over Wilbur, he noticed that what Fundy did during the debate hurt Wilbur, and kept acting bitter towards him from then on. ( “ I saw how asshole-y and bratty you were acting in the courtroom the other night.” / And then he- [sighs] I’m so sorry you have to deal with him.” )

the he a was tiny bit jealous point IS more up in the air but we can compare this to how Tommy acted towards Ranboo just after leaving prison, when he learned of the c!beeduo marriage.

Quotes from @/kateis-cakeis, @/findingjoynweirdstuff, @/ace-enderchest and my own transcripts, thank you guys!

#dream smp #dsmp #wilbur soot #fundy #tommyinnit #night's talk tag #dsmp analysis #night's meta tag

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moonbaby26 · 4 years ago

Text

Title: Escape

Pairing: Peter Maximoff x Reader

Notes: Actual pairing interaction starts in the second section after the Reader character gets out of the elevator, feel free to skip down to that if you like. Reader thinks about Peter in the first section, but it is more setting up how they got so separated from the others, plus a Wolvie cameo. I wanted Peter x Reader to be able to have more interaction away from the group.

Summary: Continuation of previous chapter. Set during X-Men: Age of Apocalypse. You and the others have been taken to Stryker’s base and must survive to find your way out together.

Warnings: Wolverine cameo advisory with a 100% chance of stabby stab. Mild language.

Chapters: Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Taglist: @drikawinchester , @n0obmaster69 , @alexloveskili , @what-a-silver-lining , @bluesprings18 , @weakmoony-stuff , @slytherinsi-mp

Peter Maximoff x Reader Masterlist

——————————

“The day of reckoning is here.”

Your eyes opened at once, that unmistakeable voice now reverberating through your mind as fluorescent lights passed one after another above you.

“Professor?” You breathed aloud, immediately trying to sit up on the moving gurney.

But the restraints were drawn too tightly as your head only rebounded backward just as quickly when your torso didn’t rise in tandem.

“Shit!” the guard to your left cursed, his hand drawing back from the gurney rail at your sudden movement.

You turned your head towards him, confused, even as the professor’s words continued in your mind.

Yet Xavier’s voice sounded strange, forced. And you didn’t understand the context. Was it a warning? A threat to someone?

It didn’t really seem to fit the current circumstances to say it was directed at you or your captors. But he only kept speaking.

“The dawn of a new era will emerge. For there is nothing you can do...to stop what is coming.”

The two guards were looking around too then, reacting in sync with the telepathic message leaving you no doubt that they could hear it as well.

But why would Xavier be in their heads too? Did he already know where you were?

One guard chided the other, as if the two of them didn’t both have the same frightened expression. “Damn stun pulse is wearing off it is all, just hurry up and finish this transport. Colonel Stryker wants it taken to the lower testing bay,”

“Don’t tell me you aren’t hearing that voice?” The other guard retorted, “What the hell is that?”

Did they just call you an ‘it’? What was this place? Not a hospital surely. But you could barely dwell on the implications of the guard’s words ‘lower testing bay’, and the impending threat that represented as your last memories finally began to bubble up.

The X-Mansion in rubble, the helicopters swooping in over the trees, the students and staff unconscious in the grass, that soldier cracking your ribs, and-

Peter.

He was a stranger to you still, but he’d been right there against you. Surely you had drawn more attention to him just because your powers had let you resist a few moments longer than the others. Because you’d been so stubborn, not going down until you’d been forced to.

If these men had hurt any of your friends, you would be furious. But if Peter, who had also saved so many of your friends was now in more severe danger because of your actions, you wouldn’t forgive yourself.

“Where did you take the others!?” You arched against the restraints abruptly, your palms opening to face upward, trying to summon any bit of your energy at all. A wisp, an orb, anything that could have helped you right now. You had to find your friends.

But nothing came. Not even a glow or flicker of what you truly were as you now had both guards’ full attention.

“Freak! Just shut up!” One of them shoved the gurney in retaliation to your outburst, the caster wheels rattling across the concrete floor before the bed rail hit against one of the walls, jarring you painfully.

“Those with the greatest power. Protect those without. That's my message to the world.”

Xavier concluded his words then. And somehow, that sounded more like himself than any of the rest of it. The real meaning still eluded you, but hearing him in that tone at least meant he was okay. He was somewhere urging the rest of you on. At least this part you knew was true as you took a calming breath, realizing panic and anger would serve you nothing right now.

Something was blocking your powers. That much was obvious. It would be unrealistic to think that the effects of any stun weapon would be this long lasting though.

On the other hand, you knew chemicals existed that could also temporarily block mutations. Hank used one almost medicinally whenever he didn’t wish to be in his true “Beast” form. But it had to be injected direct into the veins to have any real effect.

You could feel that they hadn’t removed any of your clothing, nor had they rolled up the long sleeves you were wearing. You doubted they would risk a chemical like that wearing off at an inopportune time and likely would have started an IV if they possessed anything of that nature.

There were no tubes or lines attached to you that you could tell, only the restraints now holding you to this bed. Leather straps across your body, metal cuffs on your ankles and wrists-

But wait, you were able to move your head as you’d already discovered. You shifted it again, trying to get a better feel of what was around your neck. Metal as well, but loose as you could still lift your head up enough to see it just a bit. It and its dull, red status light.

Inhibitor collar, you realized with an all new dread sinking in. You had heard of these of course, but it was the kind of thing that students sheltered at Xavier’s school would never have to dream of really. Something you never thought you’d have to experience personally.

How naive.

But you still couldn’t give up. Your mind was racing as you tried to come up with any strategies now. Your options were so limited, but they couldn’t keep you tied down forever. Surely they’d have to move you to a more permanent containment at some point, untie you if even for a moment.

Yet, there were guns as well. You hadn’t missed that detail, but you considered it more fully now as you glanced to the long barrells swaying behind each guard’s back as they pushed you along.

They were slowing now though. You raised your head enough again to see elevator doors nearing. The lower testing bay, you remembered them saying.

But just as one guard had started to reach for the keypad beside the doors, an alarm blared, all three of you startling at the sound.

Orange lights lit up along the walls, spinning in time with the sirens.

“Weapon X is loose. I repeat, Weapon X is loose!” A man’s unnerved voice sounded over speakers you couldn’t see, echoing down the corridors.

You could only watch as both guards spun around on their heels at that, guns immediately drawn. The one thing you could be absolutely sure of then, was that you were now the very least of their concerns.

Before you could consider how to use this surprise in your favor though, screams and the echo of gunfire erupted seemingly on top of you all.

The guards were terrified. This could be your only chance.

“Take this collar off of me, please! I can help you!” You weren’t begging as much as you were truly trying to reason with them. “Look, this is serious right!?”

More men were screaming just around the corner. Only feet away now. Clearly their time to consider had run out.

You saw one of the guards glance down at you, weighing your offer if just for that moment. The other was still staring straight ahead, gun braced, body rigid.

“FIRE!” The one not looking at you screamed, and that was it. It was too late.

You flinched as the gunfire rang deafening in your ears, the muzzle flashes just above you while empty bullet shells rained onto the floor.

You didn’t know how many bullets their gun magazines could hold, but the barrage seemed to just go on and on until an inhuman snarl rose even above the pounding gunshots.

Like a blur he was upon them. One guard was immediately thrown against a nearby wall, as if he were made of paper. His gun didn’t even faze the attacker.

You were frozen as you had to watch him die in front of you. Metal blades impaled the guard, blood splatter running down the wall as his body fell. You wished the other guard would have just turned and ran, but that probably would have been fruitless now too if you were being honest.

The attacker had turned immediately back around, one slash knocking the gun away from the remaining guard, and the second taking out his throat.

You were too in shock to do anything but close your eyes in the moment you felt some of the blood hit you. It was warm was all you could really process, before you opened your eyes again to now see the killer standing over you.

His breath was fast, eyes black, no emotion evident but rage. He had no clothing on him above the waist, just muscular and bloodied with metal cords coming out of his body and attaching to some sort of helmet.

You heard the random sound of more bits of metal hitting the ground, and thought you saw a few bullets working out in reverse from his flesh.

He was one of you then, a mutant.

But you were afraid to speak. Anything could set him off again.

He was looking down at you, through you really. You thought you saw his eyes go to your throat. The collar? Or maybe you just imagined it. Everything was happening in just seconds.

His arm swung suddenly, those blades were part of him you realized, attached to his fists as they came for you. At least it would be a quick death.

You felt a burning, heard ripping and even the metal of the bed breaking as he struck more than once.

“He’s here!” Someone else screamed from back down the hallway and the gunfire started all over again.

You moved at the sound, why you didn’t know, it should have been all over regardless. But in your amazement, you realized you could move. His claws had broken through the restraints, broken the bolts that held you to the bed. You were bleeding, but only from cuts as he’d grazed you.

He’d freed you.

The gurney tumbled over with a clatter as you jumped from it. But bullets were hitting all around you as the guards continued to fire at him. You still had the inhibitor collar on, so you couldn’t defend from that. You weren’t bulletproof like him.

And he was already charging them again, but there were so many this time. A bullet grazed your arm, and you knew you had to get out of there now.

You turned, hitting the elevator keypad. You had no choice as you wouldn’t make it out of this hallway otherwise. You ducked inside as soon as the doors opened, trying to stay against the sides even as bullets were now hitting the back of the elevator. The only way was down, and you took it.

As the doors closed, and the elevator finally sank below the firing line, you allowed yourself some real breaths.

To think, just hours ago your main concern had only been whether or not you were ready for Hank’s organic chemistry final. You’d laugh if you weren’t still trembling a little, clothes torn and blood all over, most of it not even your own.

Now it was time to find the others and a way out.

—————————

“(Y/N)?” You heard in your mind, pausing in the abandoned hallway you were now wandering down. You’d left the elevator behind some time ago, but hadn’t yet found any other way back off this level.

“Jean?” You answered aloud, both surprised and relieved. “Are you okay?”

“Yes. We are now. I saw them take you too, but where are you?”

Talking to a telepath was always a bit strange. You could feel her own stress and anxiety as she began to fill your mind. She wanted to see what you were seeing.

You looked around you to oblige her, but from what you could tell every corridor only looked like more of the same in this labyrinth.

“I got into an elevator when all the shooting started, when that man-“

“Logan. We met him too. He’s escaped now, he-” She paused, your recent memories now visible to her. “He helped you.”

“He did.” You felt she both was and wasn’t surprised at this.

“Anyway,” She continued as if something was distracting her, like she was physically talking to someone else, while mentally talking to you. “The Professor needs us. We’re sending Peter to find you. He’ll bring you to us and then we’re leaving together.”

“Okay,” Was all you could answer, as you felt Jean leave your mind abruptly at that. You remembered Xavier’s odd speech earlier, something you really hadn’t had time to deconstruct any further with everything else that had happened immediately after. You supposed they would fill you in when you were all reunited.

But you did feel a significant weight leave your shoulders at the mention of Peter’s name, even though it sounded like this horrific day was still far from over. He was okay too then at least. You hadn’t screwed up enough to get him hurt in a way you couldn’t take back.

Yet how long would it take for him to find you? Should you just stay in place, or go back to the elevator now? You hadn’t found any stairwells or other-

“(Y/N)?”

You’d be lying to say you didn’t almost fall over in surprise as a tiny gust of air was the only other thing that announced him as Peter was suddenly standing beside you.

“You’re as bad as Kurt!” You gasped, before you could stop yourself. You clenched one fist at your side, at least having the self control not to punch him right in the arm as you might have done with some of the boys at school if they had given you that kind of scare.

“That’s the blue kid with the tail right? Not to be confused with the big blue hairy guy, he’s the one that told me your name by the way, or the blue famous chick from TV?” He shook his head, but his eyes were amused. “You guys have some kind of quota on the color blue or what?”

You stared at him. He did like to talk didn’t he?

When you didn’t respond right away, you saw his eyes wander down, then back up. “Red said you’d be a bit of a mess, but you sure you’re okay?”

Your shirt was torn from well, now you knew him as Logan...that man’s claws. Those cuts were still bleeding a bit, but the guard’s blood was on you as well. The metal shackles were also still on your wrists and ankles, though their chains had been broken, and the inhibitor collar was around your neck. Yes, you must look quite a sight.

“You mean Jean,” you corrected. She must have given him some warning at least before sending him. “Yeah, I’m fine. So you found another way out of here, we should-”

But he didn’t seem to be listening, either that or you weren’t very convincing on the being okay sentiment.

He looked quite serious all of the sudden. “I’m sorry I didn’t help you when Colonel douchebag was trying to work you over.”

You blinked. What was he talking about?

“Stryker I guess they said his name was, the guy that kicked you back at the house.” He just continued. “That piece of shit bailed already.”

“How did you know about that?” You asked honestly. Peter had been unconscious as far as you’d known.

“I mean I was in and out,” He answered, seemingly understanding your confusion now. “But uh...” He hesitated, kind of an awkward smirk building then. “I definitely remember you laying on me. The impact wasn’t that great, but afterward was pretty nice.”

Your felt a heat rising to your face immediately. The absurdity of being physically embarrassed at his implication and tone, as you stood here literally bleeding in the belly of some mutant torturing black ops lab was not lost on you.

“Look, I...” You didn’t even know what to say, but you knew if you didn’t start talking now you were never going to recover control here. “I’m really glad they didn’t hurt you, and I’m sorry too if I got you involved deeper in all of this. And I want to thank you for pulling everyone out of the mansion this morning. We owe you so much. I just-” Oh man, where were you even going with this? You looked to him still feeling like you were just digging yourself deeper, “You can stop me anytime now you know?”

He was now outright grinning. “You’re welcome, babe.”

Not helping. AT ALL.

You were staring at him again. “They’re going to be waiting on us, you know,” You felt you were going to be pleading with him in a moment.

“I know, places to be, worlds to save...” He just moved closer and you tensed a little bit. He noticed, but stood his ground. “I have to brace you or you’re just going to be hurt even more when I run you back to them.”

“So is that how you do it, then? You’re just that fast?” You asked honestly. His actual mutation wasn’t something there’d been any chance to discuss. You could infer only so many ways he would have been able to evacuate those in the mansion almost instantaneously. But you knew teleporters too, even people who could move through reality on other planes. There was always more than one way to do something.

“I’ll show you mine if you show me yours,” He chuckled, smirking enough for you to know he was still just picking with you as one of his hands went behind your head and the other to your ribs to brace you. He really did know where you’d been hit then.

His hands were warm, and you could smell that damn cologne again now as you tried to ready yourself for whatever was about to happen.

You didn’t know what you had expected. You knew how it felt to take off in a jet, or slam the gas pedal down in one of the Professor’s expensive cars, or ride on a really intense roller coaster. But this wasn’t that. There wasn’t even any time for your brain to register the acceleration. It felt like just a single heartbeat before you were standing back in front of those elevator doors with him.

It was the deceleration that hit you. By the time your body knew it was moving, it had already stopped again, your organs lurching and your equilibrium completely thrown off as vertigo took over. You leaned forward immediately, trying not to dry heave as puking seemed almost imminent.

He took one of your hands, his other hand moving down from your ribs to your waist as he helped support you still.

“It’ll pass. It happens to everyone the first time,” He spoke, probably the softest tone you’d heard from him to this point.

“You’re telling me there are people who have been-” You swallowed, fighting that nausea back down. “have been with you multiple times?” You meant to say multiple times like that. People who needed to be rescued this way multiple times. You stood up, still queasy as you tried to face him and correct this blunder immediately. Why did this guy have you so flustered!?

“I’m not normally like this,” you stammered, waiting for some great retort from him as you’d just left yourself wide open with that slip.

It was only then that you realized he still had one hand on your waist, and you were now facing him, just inches apart. And the silence was worse. It was much worse while he was just looking back at you.

“No,” He finally said, “I uh...I don’t have anyone that’s stayed around long enough for that.”

He wasn’t joking at all now and you knew it.

“I didn’t mean...” You started, but stopped again when you didn’t know how to finish.

But the vulnerability was gone just as soon as it’d come. His smirk returned as he let go of you, moving forward to hit the keypad for the elevator. “I did look for stairwells by the way, if you were wondering. It only took me as long as it did to find you down here because this damn elevator is slow as hell.”

You actually were a little relieved to finally be focusing back to the task at hand. But you still felt an unspoken conversation lingering that would need to be continued later. You wanted him to know who you really were.

And honestly...you now wanted to know who he really was.

The harsh buzz from the keypad brought you back to attention as Peter hit it again.

A tiny screen blinked “CODE ERROR” in red as he groaned. “It didn’t need a damn code to come down, that makes no sense!”

You responded in a few moments, realizing the likely truth fairly quickly. “But it would make sense if you were more concerned about things getting out of the lab than you were of things getting in.” The same would be true for the lack of entry and exit points. They surely weren’t concerned with fire safety or anything else but keeping their specimens captive when they built this place.

“Ugh, that’s dark,” He answered, glancing at you and then back to the keypad. “You’re almost making me not feel so bad for all the guys that looked like swiss cheese on the way down here. But lucky for you, you’ve got me, and these five hombres.” He waved his fingers at you before immediately beginning to punch in multiple codes in faster succession than of course would have been possible for anyone else.

“Peter, I don’t think-” You started, already having a good suspicion of how this might play out, before the keypad abruptly quit accepting inputs, the tiny screen then blinking LOCKOUT. The only thing that did surprise you was a new even thicker door suddenly closing over the original elevator doors.

And you couldn’t help it then. You laughed. A real laugh. It was just the dumbest icing on the cake. “Okay, Han Solo. I think that will do.” You didn’t care if he would understand the reference or not. You needed that laugh right now.

But he didn’t let you down. Not even for a moment. “Okay then Leia, then you show me how we’re getting past here to save the ugly little ewoks.”

You were still snickering a little, but you shook your head. “I can’t,” You motioned to the inhibitor collar still around your neck. “Not with this on. It’s blocking my powers.” You had hoped once you were all back topside that Hank would be able to disarm the thing. It was probably radio controlled or something like that. “We’ll have to wait on Jean and the others to realize we’re taking too long, they’ll come for us.”

“I don’t wait,” Peter retorted. “Besides, like I said, I showed you mine. Time to show me yours.” He tilted his head, eyeing you. “Really, I’ve been dying to know.”

“Sure you have,” You were skeptical, but it was actually hard to read him right now. Was he actually that curious about you? “And I’ve already tried to take it off, it doesn’t budge.”

“Again, babe. You didn’t have me before.” The smug tone was back, as he evidently had some plan you didn’t know if you were going to like or not.

“You realize, this thing is nearly against my jugular veins, right? What are you going to do?” You had every right to be hesitant you thought. Especially after the keypad failure.

“Just be still. I’m going to vibrate it apart.” He answered confidently.

Okay, now you really didn’t like this. “Again, head, throat, things I need to stay in one piece. What if it has some self destruct thing and explodes?”

“I can pull you away from that before it even burns you. How do you think your friends lived when your house blew up this morning?”

You could have mentioned Alex’s fate then, but that would have been needlessly cruel. Alex must have already been gone before Peter even entered the building. He did save everyone else you thought.

“Trust me,” Peter looked you in the eyes and you could feel yourself relenting.

You really did believe him it seemed. Hopefully that faith was not misplaced. “Please be careful,” You closed your eyes, going stock still.

“For you? Of course.”

You heard his jacket move, which told you he was raising his arms. Internally you tensed-

And then all you heard were pieces of metal and circuitry skittering across the floor in every direction. You were still standing exactly as you had been as you opened your eyes to a too pleased with himself Peter.

“Some shrapnel did try to go into your face, but I moved the pieces. No kaboom though.” His expression changed then to happily expectant, “So come on, I’ve helped three times now, the stage is now yours,” He made an exagerrated motion to the big metal door now blocking the elevator. “What’s your poison?”

Poison? An interesting way to put it, but you knew what he meant. All mutant abilities were both a gift and a curse. Yet even after all these years of meeting people of your own kind, it was still very personal to show someone your real self for the very first time.

Especially when you evidently cared what he thought of you as you realized your nerves were suddenly about much more than just being able to get open a door or not. How would he react?

You took a breath, still extremely aware of his eyes on you as you turned your palms upward. It was always easiest to start with your hands. But you’d need to bring the energy all the way through you to get the kind of power it was going to take to pull this door out.

There was a slight relief in you as your hands began to glow white after a moment. At least you knew you were no longer defenseless, that these people hadn’t taken your abilities permanently.

In your peripheral vision you could see Peter shift, but you didn’t look to him, trying to concentrate as the energy spread up your arms and you closed your eyes. It always felt so warm, like being in the sun on a clear day. It spread to your chest, legs, up your shoulders and over your face. Even through your hair as you willed the energy to lift you up, now completely enveloped until you were a silhouette of a person. Glowing in soft white light and levitating about a foot off the floor.

You opened your eyes again, feeling you had things in control enough now to speak to him. The tone of your voice changed slightly in this form though. There was a hum to it, the energy moving across your vocal chords like every other part of you.

“I’m going to try and pull the door out of the way and into the hall. Please be ready to move as I won’t have a lot of control over it once it gives. My effort is going to all be on breaking it.”

You looked to him after a moment though when he didn’t respond. You knew he was fast enough to keep himself safe obviously, but you had to be sure he was ready. Was he really just staring at you? “Peter?”

He blinked. “Yeah, uh. That’s...” He stepped back from the door, but never took his eyes off you, this weird expression on his face. “That’s cool.”

“Please mind the door,” You reiterated gently, not quite sure what to make of his reaction to your powers.

“Sure, sure thing.” He sounded more like himself then. “Do your deal.”

Your deal as he put it, involved willing this same energy now in a field around the door as you rose your hand up to control it. Once you were sure you had it solidly, you began pulling your hand back, trying to pull the door out of its railing.

It gradually started to creak, but like you’d thought, this was going to take some real doing. You pulled harder and harder, the metal just groaning louder. “Come on,” You spoke, not really sure if you were talking more to yourself or the door.

Your arm was starting to really ache with the effort. But just when you thought you might have to try something else after all, you finally felt the door give. And when it gave, it did so spectacularly. This massive chunk of metal collapsed, exploding out of its rail as it rocketed down the hallway. You just moved to the side to avoid it, the smaller pieces hitting you harmlessly in this form.

To your eyes it only looked like Peter disappeared and then reappeared as he also easily missed all the debris.

Once that obstacle was out of the way, you glided down, back to the normal elevator doors. They were slightly damaged from the removal of the larger door. But now it only took minimum effort to force them open.

You entered the elevator, the inner keypad was also blinking that same “LOCKOUT” error from earlier. So the elevator itself was going nowhere. But this was now no longer an issue for you.

“I can carry us up,” You looked to Peter, though unsure how comfortable he would be with this new idea.

He was standing at the entrance of the elevator already, watching you still. You could see the wheels in his head turning. And then he finally asked. “So, you’re glowing...and flying. Is this like radioactive glow, or I just need some sunscreen kind of glow?”

“It’s just light energy in the visible spectrum.” You answered reflexively. “But not even UV, the wavelength itself doesn’t cause any damage. It’s only when I make it solid or make it unstable that I can do anything harmful with it.”

You could see he may have skipped the lessons on long and short wave energy and radiation in science class as he just kept staring.

“You’re fine, it’s safe” You smiled. Certainly not the first time you had heard such questions. “The Professor and Hank had me tested from the very beginning, I never would have been allowed so close to other students without more precautions if I was that dangerous.”

“So you’re...close to some other students?” He asked almost tauntingly, one eyebrow raised, and it took you a moment before you realized he may be getting back at you for your comments from before.

It was probably just the fact that you were in your energy form now, but you felt confident enough to respond just as quickly, “It’s more like the Brady Bunch than what you’re thinking. Like having a whole house of little brothers and sisters.”

You had already opened up the ceiling of the elevator while the two of you talked, looking up now to the empty shaft and elevator cables. It’d be much easier to move the two of you rather than to try and lift the whole elevator. You reached a hand out to Peter. “I can lift us up the shaft to the floor that the others are on and open the doors, then you can take us to them. Deal?”

You had trusted him to bring you here, as well as to remove that collar from you. Would he now trust you to bring him up several floors without dropping him?

He was looking at your hand. “I probably could just run up the walls you know.”

You paused, realizing you hadn’t considered that. You didn’t really know what all he was capable of truly. But just as you started to lower your hand, he surprised you by grabbing and holding it.

“Yet how many guys can say they flew with you, huh?”

“Practically none,” You admitted. “I don’t make a habit of picking up my friends.”

“You aren’t quite building confidence here.”

“I’m sure that door weighed more than you.”

“And look how it ended up. Again, not comforting.”

This guy was truly something else. “Come here, we take much longer and they really are going to be sending a search party for us.”

You extended the energy from your hand across his body gently. He was obviously much lighter than the door, and the closer you kept him, the easier it would be to move the both of you.

You tried not to make eye contact with him again as you levitated the two of you through the top of the elevator and up through the shaft. Even though you knew you were fully capable of doing this, you still didn’t want to lose focus.

But his voice didn’t sound frightened at all as he spoke up to let you know how high to go. “They’re on the top floor, we’re stealing a jet to get out of here.”

“Wow, but okay. Got it,” You sped up a little at that, no longer worried about passing your landing point as you went straight to the top.

When you reached the highest doors, you were able to force them open with a turn of your free hand, bringing you and Peter safely through and back onto solid ground.

You powered down immediately as your feet met the floor, the light fading back into your body until you were just standing there in your torn, bloody clothes once more. “Okay, I’m ready to get nauseous again, let’s go.”

He actually squeezed your hand before he let go of it in order to brace your head and ribs again. “For the record that felt pretty good. You’re really warm. Zero g’s was cool too. Thanks.”

“Um...you’re welcome?” You answered, a little flustered all over again to your own dismay, and really not knowing what else to say before he whisked you away in an instant.

It really was going to be the longest day ever.

——————————

(Continued in next chapter here)

#quicksilver x reader #quicksilver #peter maximoff #peter maximoff x oc #peter maximoff x you #peter maximoff x y/n #peter maximoff x reader #peter maximof x reader #x men apocalypse #quicksilver x y/n #quicksilver x you #x men fanfiction #x men

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mybg3notebook · 4 years ago

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Astarion Analysis

Disclaimer Game Version: All these analyses were made up to the game version v4.1.101.4425. As long as new content is added, and as long as I have free time for that, I will try to keep updating this information.

“Morals are all well and good, but power always wins.”

“If all I want is shallow praise? Hardly, there is also gold, sex, revenge, quite the list, really. But failing any of those, I will always settle for shallow praise.”

--Astarion

The majority of sources used for this article are in the game itself (including Astarion-solo playthroughs) and the dev’s notes and datamined information provided by pjenn. Astarion as origin is (almost) not taken into account since it’s not finished and is highly unpolished.

The itemised list will show some instances of approval or disapproval as seen in the game. To make the reading of this article easier and shorter, you can skip them since they are basically the proof I use to sustain the introductory concept of each block.

We can infer a lot of Astarion by analysing what he approves and disapproves of. Sometimes, we can even lightly infer some information from his neutral reactions, but let’s be honest: this way of analysing a char is pretty poor since it leaves everything to speculation. Neutral reactions can only be analysed by contrasting the same situation in other contexts, and seeing what other options Astarion approves or disapproves of. With these considerations in mind, we can proceed to describe this character.

Disclaimer: this is a meta with my personal interpretation of the character, sticking as much as possible to the facts and leaving little to “desires” or “projections” of what I want him to be. If I do so, I will state it explicitly in the text for the sake of analysis honesty. I want to be clear about what is canon (facts shown in bg3 EA), from what’s personal interpretation with little proof.

Also, this list is extensive, gathering as much as I could in my many playthroughs, but I’m sure it’s not absolutely complete. Some details may have escaped to me, but honestly, I believe they will be easily fit in these blocks once the pattern has been seen.

Understanding Astarion by enumerating his reactions

Astarion is usually seen as a character whose behaviour is the embodiment of “randomness”, and after several Astarion-solo playthoughts, I began to see the patterns that showed little randomness in my opinion.

We can say that he likes gratuitous cruelty and murder. He has a special taste for animal cruelty too. He is greedy, but mostly if it leads to murder or to make little people suffer. Sometimes this greedy side comes from the fact that he doesn’t like to “work for free”: most quests should have a reward for him to be neutral to them. Accepting them without asking anything in return tends to earn a disapproval. He is more reticent to humiliate or outsmart NPCs that may be potentially stronger and more powerful than him.

[[1]] Situations showing his greed:

He supports the robbery of the fishermen that were helping the mind flayer (MF) after the crash.

Astarion supports stealing the “magical” ring from the tiefling kid (Mattis). This could be seen also as a gesture of outsmarting a person or mere trickster behaviour (see below).

He supports asking for compensation from the deep gnome we saved at the windmill.

He agrees to force Tulla (dying gnome in the myconid camp) to give you her magical boots.

Denying Baelen the scrolls because “they don’t come cheap”.

He approves pickpocketing Mirkon while being lured by the harpies.

[[2]]Situations displaying plain murder or violence:

He supports joining Lae’zel against the tieflings if you persuade them to free her, since this means killing (which is always an entertainment for him) creatures he considers lesser.

He supports killing Gimblebok and his gang near the Jergal ruins if you avoid any attempt of persuasion. This can be shown as a demonstration of power. (see below)

He supports killing Kagha without trying to persuade her or change her ways, not because he thinks Arabella’s death was an aberration (he enjoyed the show, as his approval and later comment confirm it) but simply because he enjoys murder.

He supports attacking the goblin camp. It’s a great spectacle of murder combined with his personal dismiss towards goblinoid races.

He approves of joining Minthara and massacrating the tieflings. It’s another great spectacle of murder, but in this time, of weak people (He detests weak creatures, and despises Tieflings in general).

He approves of killing Lae’Zel in the scene where she attacks Tav during the night, out of fear of turning into MF.

He approves of killing Rugan in the hideout.

Still related to this level of violence and cruelty, he supports learning more about Shar once Shadowheart explains Shar’s teachings, all about violence and death, fighting against the illusion of safety.

He approves killing Ellyka, the tiefling spying on the Gith patrol, if Tav is a Githyanki (true or disguised as) and chooses “Attack.”

He approves of helping Glut in massacring the whole Myconid colony.

He approves of sacrificing one of the companions to the fish-people who worship Booal.

He approves fighting the fake god Booal because it’s a massacre; where there is bloodshed, there is Astarion’s approval.

For the same reason he approves killing the Githyanki patrol: pure bloodshed.

[[3]] Situations of gratuitous cruelty: I understand that a lot of people confuse this trait of his personality as a “trolling attitude”. There are different archetypes of tricksters in DnD, and he is not particularly the silly-funny one (e.i. Jester in Critical Role), but the cruel-funny one. His “pranks” don’t cause annoyance or silly troubles, they usually end up in murdering the person he is pranking, or causing them great pain. What he considers “funny” is always related to a lot of blood and suffering. Examples of this:

He disapproves of diffusing the situation between Aradin and Zevlor after the first goblin attack. He is “missing” his show. This situation is also related to enjoying humiliation of others (see below).

After letting Arka kill the goblin and take her revenge, Astarion will approve the comment that refugees are desperate and they will do anything. He is enjoying the show of despair of weak creatures. And he is also expecting for some of them to become survivalist beasts.

He approves of telling Kagha that you enjoyed the show of Arabella’s death as an answer to her question about if she is a monster.

He also approves of telling Arabella's parents that Kagha will release their daughter when the Rite of Thorns is completed (while Arabella, in fact, has been killed by Kagha's snake). This is another example of Evil Trickster, a prank with a really dark taste. This also shows that Astarion likes to give false hopes [One of the most iconic characteristic of Cazador]

He approves of telling the tiefling kids training with Wyll that they are going to die, inspiring that despair he enjoys to see in weak creatures. (see below)

He approves of breaking Alfira’s teacher’s lute, leaving the tiefling heartbroken because that had been the only memento she got from her teacher, and could not finish her tribute song.

Astarion approves of interrupting the goblinoid couple having sex, which he considers disgusting. After killing them, Astarion will support the idea that it was funny. Another example of Evil Trickster where the prank ends up with the death of the pranked one. But we also know Astarion despises goblinoid races.

He approves of killing Crusher after humiliating him.

He supports Tav who volunteers to torture Liam at the goblin camp.

He supports of laughing at Lorin (the elf trapped in Ethel’s house) after pretending to be the monster he sees (psychological torture). This example can be part of the list of humiliation too.

He states that seeing Mayrina’s horrified face after resurrecting her husband was funny. Another example of false hopes [One of the most iconic characteristics of Cazador] On the contrary, if Tav kills the undead afterwards, Astarion will disapprove, since he missed the “fun” of seeing Mayrina tortured.

He enjoys every state of Abdirak’s torture upon Tav. This can be seen as a fine bloody show he is enjoying, or as a way to put Tav in a humiliating situation (as he approved the dung-smearing or the foot-kissing instances)

Using the leader gnoll Flind to attack her own gnolls earns his approval. Asking her to devour herself increases approval once more. This situation could also be seen as enjoyment of animal cruelty (since gnolls are considered animals by Astarion too) but also as the reflection of Astarion’s inner desire of becoming a Master of bending wills.

Probably the most innocent prank so far we saw, he approves of doing Baaa at the redcaps in the Bog.

[[4]] As I said previously, he suports any form of animal cruelty:

He approves of kicking and killing the squirrel Timber in the Druid Grove. According to the dev’s notes, he is “shocked and annoyed” because “you stamped a squirrel to death when he could’ve eaten it.” (DEN_General_Squirrel)

He supports prodding to death the bird that Nettie was healing during the dialogue (you need Speak with Animals for this).

He supports freeing the Owlbear cub at the Goblin Camp, and feeding it later, because he wants to bite the owlbear cub eventually (he uses the word “delectable” to describe him, and when the owlbear escapes, Astarions states “You‘ve scared off the little snack.”)

When we find Halsin in his bear form, Astarion will have two instances of approval: the first one when Tav tells the goblin kids that throwing stones with sharp edges would hurt the animal more, and then when Tav themself joins the goblins in throwing rocks at Halsin.

We can also add the confrontation with Flind, the Gnoll leader, as another example of animal cruelty since he approves a smart yet twisted way of killing her by double-using the tadpole. First to command her to attack the gnolls, and then to devour herself. However, since Gnolls are considered aberrations lore-wise, this point could be left aside in this particular case.

If we take into consideration that Astarion sees Goblins, Kobolds, and Gnomes as animals, killing them always increases his approval. This happens when we kill, out of the blue, most goblin NPCs, or simply attack the camp. (Datamined content) He will also approve of killing slave gnomes in Duergar Encampment (place you find after the boat). All these moments can be also seen as “animal” cruelty if we take into account Astarion’s perspective.

He approves of killing Priestess Gut in the Goblin Camp. It could also be interpreted as his usual dismissal towards goblins (he sees them as animals), since he never believed that she could help them in the first place. Or this approval can fit perfectly fine the cruel, murderous aspect of Astarion. As I said, many approvals overlap different aspects of Astarion, but all seem to fit his patterns either way.

I suspect that the reason behind this particular kind of cruelty comes from those two hundred years of torture, in which he had to drink animal blood. Considering he was such an unfair magistrate, directing his rage against the ones who are not the root of the problem seems fitting.

[[5]] Astarion is filled with racial bias and prejudices.

He only sees elves and humans as the only creatures capable of thinking. (Scene after the bite)

However, he has strong biases against a particular ethnic group of humans: Gurs. He thinks they are all cut-throat, and probably would approve the rest of stereotypes that Gandrel added in that scene. (Scene of meeting Gandrel)

He mocks halfling and dwarf Tavs, who he thinks are naturally weak, until they prove him wrong. (Stargaze scene for short-sized Tav)

He supports the idea that tieflings have demonic powers just because of their heritage. (Speaking with the Grove halfling seller). During the party, he compares the lives of the tieflings with the lives of the goblins as something of similar value (which we know he considers as animal).

He sees goblins, kobolds, and gnomes as animals. (Scene after the bite)

After killing the goblinoid couple which was having sex, if Tav choose to say that the situation made them scrub their eyes, Astarion would add and extra “dehumanizing” comment against gnomes. “I’ve seen worse. Gnomes can be… ughh.” (Scene of interrupting sex)

[[6]] He finds pleasure in humiliating people or in outsmarting them, especially if they are trying to outsmart Tav. He dislikes weakness and loves to humiliate weak people in particular.

He approves telling Lae’Zel to say “please” when we met her again in the cage, humiliating her.

He disapproves of diffusing the situation between Aradin and Zevlor after the first goblin attack. We know he is “missing” his show where one of them is being humiliated.

Astarion approves of telling Elegis that she is pathetic for being scared of a few goblins. Once more, humiliation due to weakness.

He disapproves of telling Arabella's parents that the Druids overreacted when speaking in the Druid Grove’s stairs. He is disapproving for defending a weak and silly creature who was not smart enough to survive on her own.

Astarion supports stealing the “magical” ring from the tiefling kid. This is another situation of humiliation of a weak person and outsmarting them. This could be considered a prank of a more silly-funny trickster doing an innocent prank.

He approves of telling the tiefling kids that they are going to die.

He feels disappointed when Lae’Zel did not kill Zorru, the tiefling that she forces to kneel and confess where he saw the Gith patrol. He approves the psychological torture of the interrogation.

He enjoys interrupting the goblinoid couple having sex. This is an example of the prank cruel-funny trickster. This “prank” ends up with the goblinoid couple being killed.

Astarion approves of smearing dung in the guard's face at the goblin camp entrance. The show of seeing someone being humiliated is satisfying.

He supports booing and humiliating Volo off the stage in the goblin camp.

He supports licking the goblin’s foot (It could also be considered a prank).

He supports kissing the goblin’s foot while stealing the ring. This situation puts two things he enjoys in the same place: the humiliation experienced by Tav and how the Crusher was outsmarted in the process. Astarion will approve if Crusher is the one humiliated and forced to kiss Tav’s foot.

He approves of laughing at Lorin (the elf trapped in Ethel’s house) when the elf is scared of Tav who pretends to be the monster that’s torturing him.

Humiliating “low people'' is an important aspect of Astarion’s personality, since it’s a small petty pleasure he can have now, when during the last two hundred years it had been done to him. Humiliation has to do with power as well, another symbol tight to Astarion’s personality. Through humiliation Astarion can taste a little bit of power, that power he lacked for two hundred years. That power that, if his backstory is not retconned in future versions or in the full release game, he had before turning into a vampire, abusing those groups he considered less.

[[7]] If we think in power, we also have to think in manipulation. And of course, Astarion is a great master of it. Sometimes the events that stand out his taste for manipulation overlap with the ones displayed in the humiliation section.

Since the moment we meet Astarion, we know he keeps working in turning himself into a pleasant and useful companion for Tav. Astarion knows he has bigger chances to succeed and survive staying with this group. A lot of his “neutral” behaviours respond to this goal: he doesn’t want to enrage Tav to the point of being kicked out of the party, it’s not about a hidden gentle side inside he is showing with an apathetic neutrality, it’s, once more, raw preservation and survival. During the first scenes of the game, when we don’t know he is a vampire, Astarion tries to avoid taking a position in the situations we face: he is just feeling the ground all the time: with Sazza and with Arabella’s death is clear. He doesn’t judge hard, he is testing Tav, he is trying to understand their mind, and acting as pleasant as he can according to what he sees. It’s a natural use of manipulation to guarantee his survival in a group of strangers. During the bite scene—when this façade finally ends—he is truly nervous of being killed for his vampiric nature, and tries to convince Tav of keeping him in the group using arguments that go from seduction to practical usefulness.

The scene of stargaze also shows his usage of seduction as a manipulative tool to guarantee his survival (he weponises seduction and sex). Although he says mostly the same, he reacts very differently in tone depending on Tav’s approach. If Tav is wary, Astarion will act encouraging their ego and enumerating several feats, while getting uncomfortably closer. If Tav is already interested in Astarion, the elf will use softer manners to keep the seduction into a more intimate tone. This is a scene of a predator tasting his future prey as well (Dev’s notes are pretty clear about his manipulation). In this scene, also, Astarion is light-headed because he has not drunk blood in a while, and has “his head foggy” (something we can repeat during his origin as a personal tag). Exact words he will use as a narrative hint during the bite scene. Therefore, this scene has little of “Astarion falling for Tav”, and has everything of vampiric hunger combined with a raw sense of survival and usage of seduction to guaranteed it.

(potential interpretation) He approves when he is persuaded into sharing his dream with Tav. In any other character, we usually would understand this as an approval for caring about the character himself. In that scenario, failing the approval doesn’t cause a penalty (unless the character understands this failure as prying, as it happens with Shadowheart). In Astarion’s case, when you fail this persuasion, you are penalised with a disapproval. We can understand this in the same way we see it with Shadowheart: this is his annoyance for prying into his personal business. But there is another interpretation in this disapproval: he recognised a bad execution of persuasion as a manipulative attempt, and Astarion is in particular very sensitive to manipulations and mind games (see point [12]).

Most of his “romance” is manipulation as well, keeping in mind the first point of this section: he becomes pleasant for Tav, using whatever shape he needs, so he can survive (this is especially noticeable with a good-aligned Tav). Astarion has weaponised seduction and sex without any hint of subtetly for the player (As the Dev’s notes say: “For Astarion, this is a game of power - one he’s played many times before in the taverns of Baldur’s Gate, trying to lure people back to his master. He’s an old hand at seduction, very self-assured at first, but the player might not go along with the script he expects them to follow.”) We can assure that Astarion will find more satisfaction in having “fun” with a high-approval Tav rather than a low-approval Tav.

If Tav is not evil enough (and therefore has a low approval), Astarion will need to be the one inviting Tav to have sex (to be sure the control is still in his hand, still pushing for “catching” Tav). If a low-approval-Tav invites Astarion, he will decline saying that he “has standards'', implying he needs to be the one controlling the situation (he is basically playing “hard to catch”. Astarion already knows that he “caught” Tav in this scenario since Tav was the first one showing their interest). If Tav is evil-like (and has enough approval), Astarion will not only weaponise sex, he may express some degree of personal desire in having “fun” with Tav. After all, evil characters can like one another. In this case, he would accept Tav’s invitation for more hedonist reasons such as personal pleasure and not mere survival. Still it’s always present the layer of using this situation as a manipulative tool to have control on Tav.

Approves persuading Crusher without a fight, understanding it as an approval earnt for the good manipulation tool used. Of course this scene is combined with the natural approval that Astarion gives when outsmarting creatures he considers lower or animal-like (See point [6]).

Successfully persuade Lae'Zel to "play along" when meeting the Githyanki patrol, and pull off the deception.

I personally found funny that Astarion, without the intention of the writer, is so good in his manipulations, that he broke the fourth wall and ended up manipulating a good amount of players as well into believing him.

[[8]] He supports revenge in all its forms and degrees, which is not strange since it’s his main motivation against Cazador.

He approves of letting Arka kill Sazza in the cage as revenge for her brother’s death.

He approves of the attack against Nettie when she poisons Tav.

He approves of telling Edowin's siblings to find the beast that attacked him as a way to avenge the True Soul.

Astarion approves of Arabella’s mother killing Kagha at the party.

He approves of helping the Sovereign to take revenge against the Duergars that killed their young. However, it’s not clear if Astarion approves the revenge itself or the method proposed, which is, according to his own words, “a bit genocidal” and therefore more entertaining for him (we need to remember he enjoys the display of murder and violence in all its forms, [2,3]).

He approves of helping Glut in massacring the whole Myconid colony, since according to Glut’s words, they saw Glut’s circle being killed by the Duergars and did nothing, so Glut is looking for revenge.

[[9]] He doesn’t like to get involved in anyone’s problems unless you can obtain a benefit or a reward for it (this is directly connected to his greed aspect [1])

He approves of telling Mayrina’s brothers that they are on their own, and actively disapproves if Tav agrees to help them find Mayrina.

He approves of declining to help Halsin in killing the Goblin leaders.

He disapproves of helping Wyll to save the Tiefling refugees in the Grove.

He disapproves of helping Zevlor.

He disapproves of finding evidence that confirms that Kagha is working with Shadow Druids. He will additionally disapprove again if, after exposing her, Tav asks her to change her ways. From Astarion’s point of view, Tav is basically meddling too much in the Grove’s problems for free, and ruining all the instances where murder could happen.

He also disapproves if Tav agrees to help the two Zhentarim humans that are attacked by gnolls without asking for compensation.

He approves of not getting involved in the rescue of the Duke when Tav speaks with Florrick

[[10]] Despite having been a slave, he lacks of empathy for those who shared his fate and, instead, he supports slavery:

If we take into consideration what Swen said about his background in one of the first playthough he showed, we know that Astarion, as a magistrate, used criminals as food for local vampires, and in an attempt to outsmart them, he began to sell them into slavery (we can see in this brief background that Astarion has been greedy and cruel before turning into a vampire).

Although he disapproves paying for Oskar, the painter in the Zhentarim Hideout, he does it because of the money. When Tav buys the painter and demands him to stay silent because “slaves should speak when they are spoken to”, Oskar will think this is a joke (which is not the case, since none of those options has, in this patch at least, a (performance) tag). When Tav reinforces the idea that this is not a joke, and Oskar is now a true slave, only then, Astarion will approve.

When seeing one of the servant Duergars of the Myconite Colony, Astarion will comment on how useful they are, and how Underdark drows should learn about these creatures, since these slaves are more efficient than the standard ones. If Tav brings awareness about the contradiction that those thoughts cause coming from an ex-slave, Astarion will justify his thinking saying that they are husks without mind, claiming that his feelings “may be different, had they been conscious beings. Or maybe not.” He emphasises in this dual possibility. And we can be sure that he certainly would not care slavery on conscious creatures, as we confirm it later with Oskar (A human who is not a Gur, and therefore, a creature that Astarion consider thinking acceptable beings).

(Datamined content) When reaching the Duergar Encampment, once Nere is rescued, there is approval for killing the slave gnomes when the True Soul orders it. One can interpret that Astarion minds little for these slaves because they are gnomes, and therefore, animals.

[[11]] He looks for power and dominance, to have control over others and also as a way to guarantee his own freedom.

In the discussion after every dream, Astarion supports the use of the tadpole's power in every opportunity, dismissing their effects. He is thrilling for the ability of bending everyone’s will (curious note, this is one of Cazador’s characteristics most hated by him)

He approves of letting the Koa-Toes bow before them as the Booal's chosen. This scene can be understood as a typical prank of a trickster, but also as a taste for being adored as a master/entity with more power. This scene shows that he and Tav are placed in the “Master” position. This reinforces the idea that Astarion wants to be a Master/Cazador, eventually. (Check post about Astarion and Power 1 and 2)

If Tav claims that the worship to them as True Souls can be useful after letting Edowin’s siblings leave, Astarion will approve. He shows in every instance more delight for having Cazador’s powers, making emphasis in the mind control ability, again.

Astarion approves of keeping the Necromancy of Thay tome. As we see later in his scene, he believes that there is something powerful hidden in it that may help him against Cazador. He wants to muster all the power of any kind he can.

Astarion approves of sparing Auntie Ethel’s life when she surrenders during battle because she will grant them power in exchange. He wants to muster all the power of any kind he can.

[[12]] Astarion is particularly sensitive to mind control. His expressions and the tone of his voice against any type of mind control are filled with feral ire (video here):

He is angrily affected by the movements of his worm in his own head,

He screams against Ethel’s control when using the mask,

The insults at the harpies when he is lured,

The way he is annoyed by the telepathic spores in the Underdark,

He disapproves failed attempts of persuasion (understood by his character as failed, obvious attempts of manipulations).

And, potentially, this is the reason why he disapproves of Priestess Gut cleaning Tav’s mind.

[[13]] Because he likes power, he also likes the demonstration of power whether his own or his allies’, therefore he likes most intimidation options in general

He approves of intimidating Gimblebok and the gang near the ruins.

He approves of intimidating or provoking both Aradin and Zevlor at the Druid Grove.

At camp, when discussing preferred methods of death, he approves if Tav tells him "If I die, I'll take you with me." (after first picking "Try it and I'll spill your guts") . He also approves if Tav chooses a method of death (decapitation, knife, poison). Both options show resolve, strength, and freedom in deciding one’s fate. Since Astarion died at the hands of strangers, he values the freedom of choosing how to die. He will disapprove picking the option of letting others decide your death.

He approves if you intimidate the mirror into allowing passage.

[[14]] He is a survivalist character, and therefore, a lot of his approvals are related to elements that will guarantee his life, such as looking for his own freedom, the acceptance of his vampire nature, and the encouragement in looking for strong alliances or keeping alive strong individuals that can be useful as allies.

He approves of being accepted with his vampire nature and allowing him to feed on Tav’s blood. He keeps approving if Tav defends him during the exchange of opinions in the camp.

He approves if he has permission to feed on enemies.

He approves of killing Gandrel. This approval is also mere raw survival.

He approves if during sex, Tav allows him to drink their blood.

He disapproves of promising Nettie to take Wyvern Poison if you feel symptoms of the Tadpole, since it goes against his survival instinct.

When Lae’Zel is killed by the Gith patrol, he will state in banter that it was a waste since Lae’Zel was a powerful/strong specimen, so clearly he is lamenting the loss of a powerful ally.

Despite appreciating his freedom, he has explicitly stated that he “would choose servitude over oblivion any day”, showing how extremely survivalist he can be.

[[15]] He likes to find a solution to their tadpole problem using unconventional ways, or at least, using options that may lead him to the twisted solution he needs (which is not exactly being cured of the tadpole, but to control it, he certainly needs more exceptional means)

He approves of telling Auntie Ethel about the tadpole in the Druid Grove simply because she “looks lunatic”.

At first, Astarion disapproves of Raphael's invitation to remove the Tadpole, claiming that he would not change one master for another. However, when the situation starts looking dire, he will approve of the idea, because anything “may be better than Cazador” adding later that he “would choose servitude over oblivion any day.”

A bit contradictory when he was the first one claiming that Raphael used mind games similar to Cazador’s, games they know they have won before starting.

[[16]] He has a “soft spot” for helping people to escape their masters or killing/rejecting people that can be seen as Masters. However it’s requirement that those escapees could be seen by Aastarion as strong and capable creatures. He would mind little for creatures he sees as underlings. (Weak concept, seeing it with squinted eyes)

He approves of helping Karlach to get rid of the Tyr followers, since they are in fact working for Zariel, Karlach’s previous master. With all what Karlach explained about her past, she certainly qualifies as a strong person who is trying to get rid of her master.

He disapproves of Tav who tells Raphael that they would do anything to remove the Tadpole. This is probably resounding in Astarion: his past bad choice when he was at death's door due to the Gur attack and Cazador appeared to “save” him. He knows that going to that extent has poor results.

Astarion approves of Tav if they say that they won’t become Raphael's pawn (conversation in the camp after the encounter with Raphael). It’s true that when the other options narrow, Astarion starts to consider the possibility of changing a vampiric master for an infernal one.

This post was written on April 2021.

→ For more Astarion: Analysis Series Index

#astarion #bg3 early access #bg3 meta

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diavolosthots · 4 years ago

Note

Ignore this if it's too weird. Can you do a headcanon of the brothers having to deal with some random person spewing nonsense, like "I'm the main character!" and "You're suppose to love me!" (Basically a trashy, false, isekai main character) It gets annoying to the point where they try painting MC as the villain of their delusional love fantasy.

***REQUESTS ARE NOT OPEN THIS IS FROM LAST TIME***

I uh... Have no clue if this is what you wanted

Warning: mentions of violence, mentions of death threats

THE BROTHERS dealing with a delusional person

Lucifer:

I'm sorry, who even are you? Besides this person's obviously delusional speech, they're also causing turmoil with the one peaceful thing in his life: you. Say the word, MC, and he'll have this person gone before you can say 'cookies'. Or you could just wait for Lucifer to completely lose his patience and get rid of another person thats useless in his eyes, anyway. Up to you.

Mammon:

At first he kept them around for entertainment because lets be honest, them painting a weird ass picture in their head of Mammon loving them for any other reason than money is quite hilarious. But then they painted you as the villain, and that doesnt sit right with Mammon. As a matter of fact, he hates it. Youre the hero, if anything, but honestly he doesn't want you near that person or in their head, like, ever. Might just blow off on that person.

Leviathan:

At first he thought it was almost... Cool. Ya know its like that ONE anime with the stalker who had schizophrenia and blah blah blah "Levi this is no joking matter!" And youre right. It's not. Because soon after he went on his little rant, you got a death threat text messages and hell no, all bets are off and Leviathan goes admiral mode aka hes totally going to use his power as an authority figure to kick that persons ass big time.

Satan:

He has absolutely 0 tolerance for that bullshit. You're his, he's yours, and that person needs to be gotten rid of. Personally, he wants to go all out, all demonic, for interrupting your peace and time together with him, but chances are youd be mad and he doesnt want you mad at him. So.... He does it in the dead of night. And no, MC, those are certainly not blood stains on the wall, don't be silly.

Asmodeus:

Of course someone else would want him! What did you think? He's popular and obviously the best suitor for just about anyone. Don't be jealous, because he only wants you, but that doesnt mean he cant relish in the attention, right? If it gets really bad you need to sit him down and have a heart to heart because its not unusual for demons to become jealous and a little... "Delusional" as you say.

Beelzebub:

Completely oblivious because his eyes are on you and you only. So? Let that person talk smack and form a fantasy world in their mind, it only becomes an issue when that fantasy world is taken out of context and youre at risk, then everything comes to a halt. Beel is unstoppable and he's definitely out for blood. No one messes with you, or him, and he's quick to have himself some demon flavored beef. Want a burger, MC?

Belphegor:

It's almost funny to him because he rarely ever leaves the house with you so this person is most definitely also a stalker. Growls in annoyance and gives that person a warning, then tells you to just sleep with him forever because if neither of you are awake then nothing can happen right "belphie they can kill us in our sleep!" And then... Well he has to fix that. So he puts you to sleep while he gets rid of trash.

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me headcanons #obey me scenarios #asmodeus obey me #obey me lucifer #belphegor obey me #mammon obey me #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me beelzebub #cheys headcanons

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rumblelibrary · 3 years ago

Text

The Diary of Doctor Laszlo Kreizler

Chapter 1 - Chapter 2

Synopsis: Alienist’s notes are private, sometimes gruesome, secrets of others and of himself.Those pages belongs to secrecy and decadence, have a glimpse to this world made of drafts, notes, accidents and reflections. Or maybe it is you the only person that should ever reach for it.

While you read this imagine Laszlo mostly at the end of his day, scraping the ideas and the thoughts, adjusting previous notes with additions, closing the day behind himself with a couple of sentences while sitting in his evening robe, a good glass of whiskey and his glasses bridged almost at the tip of his nose. Or maybe imagine yourself, you sneaky thing, reach for it from a far shelf.

Word count: 3.5k

Warnings: listen, this is the set of ideas and confessions of a man living in the 1890’s. Most of them will be outdated, rough, even deprecating in some analysis of the roles of men, women and social status, religion, etc.So be prepared, my point is to make Laszlo reflect upon those topics, but to be as faithful as I can to his time. Mention of death, mutilation, self harm and sex. Psychologically troubled young children ahead! Author’s note: The story is placed between season 1 and season 2. Thank you for everyone that encouraged me to keep going. I have to wait for my local drop of serotonin to get fully Laszloed to go through this.

Lyra’s Contellation, Illustration taken from Uranographia by Johann Bode

Routine. Routine is comfort. Habit stabilises the character.

If you follow a routine, you won’t ever be victim of imprudence, of evil jokes of fate. The stability earned through calculated and repeated actions brings a sense of fulfilment that forbids other thoughts to come bashing in, breaking rules, breaking hopes that a solid scheduled routine forbids to have. I take my time to begin this week, I planned the things to do, the next steps for the case, the people to meet, the resources I am allowed to contemplate. I feel good, I feel back to myself and the events of the weekend seem far from me and my own perception. I probably got ahead of myself, carried by some instinctual though and random rush of emotion, to be always in contact with the same people and mostly kids probably doesn’t help my stance in the presence of other adults. I feel silly now reading back the last page, I felt tempted to tear it off, but to keep it there should be a small memento of not losing my temper so easily. I read it over and over and I know I am not as charmed as I thought I was. I am just lonely. I have always been and it is normal to face ups and downs even for a man of my age who is more accustomed to it. To desire a partner is a natural instinct, to find somebody attractive is meant by nature, it is the body calling for the natural fulfilment of the reason we are put on this very Earth. But even in a state of nature my own condition would be forbidding me to be part of the natural process of growing my own kind. I am the type of male that would be excluded because of his impossibility to give the protection to the pack, therefore it is just more reasonable to me to adapt to my condition. No matter what my Potentia generandi might be (the ability to procreate).

With all the smugness that characterises him, Niki showed off that he passed my challenge. But to be really of an help to his antics I didn’t show any kind of surprise. I treated him like he did the bare minimum, like he didn’t prove me any kind of superiority. He has a natural attitude toward challenging the figure of power, he is trying to overpower me, but I won’t satisfy his need. I have noticed he has a very technical brain, he finds ways to solve problems in ingenious way and not by throwing himself into the task. I proceeded giving him to work on a clock, an old broken one we had in the institute, one of the kids hit it with a ball years ago and nobody ever worked on repairing it. I gave him the clock, a couple of screwdrivers and a book. He called me a number of German names I won’t transcribe, but it gave me a certain amount of satisfaction. If my intuitions are right, I am sure the clock will be repaired by next week.

Analysis of the victim’s body through John’s eyes. The drawings and sketches are as detailed as I requested, all of this thanks to you joining him. I deal with art critic section, I am used to notice these things. You assure me, you play yourself low and I wonder why, nevertheless you did notice things neither John or I did, which pleased me. It fooled me, distracted me from my purpose to not give in to your witchery, as I leaned closer watching your pale hand move across the pages tracing this or that line, showing how this must be done with the killer on this side and not that side, with words so deliciously elaborate, your way of composing your speech is compelling, you could sell the drawing of a kid like it was a Botticelli. I noticed the shape of your hands, the way you move them, I wonder if you play an instrument, or played, some habits just stick with you through life. I focused on taking notes, your ideas and instructions giving me a new point of view, a new stimulus. What if that is the only way the killer can communicate? Or what if this is the communication that works for him? Could our killer be mute or deaf? Or that’s how society made him feel? This man, or woman, needs a listener and I am afraid that now, since he got our attention and the public’s, he won’t stop. Another killing could be just as close.

Scheduled: meeting with the parents of Alex Garel for new admission, Monday next week at 11 am. Love at first is a fetish and like all fetishes it is based onto an object that hides a deeper meaning, like gloves mean hands, to love at first sight means to see somebody that you think, and think only, to have the chance to share not only a sensual kind of bond, but an intellectual. Love at first sight is based onto not knowing someone well enough, but having the time to idealise most of that someone. I can see why I feel this attraction, using a particular phrase that Sara often mutters when investigating: you tick all the boxes. I know you do, your beauty is everything but conventional, you’re the kind of face that painters would paint and musicians would write hymns about, but any animal on the street would never be allowed to see. You have the grace of the body and the fire in the eyes, and then you speak. When you speak, I realise, you could bring the world to its knees. Also, you never speak out of context, and if you do it is to ease somebody’s position. You do it often with John or with Stevie, you say something really silly in order to put them back to a place of comfort. Some women would call it self deprecating, but I see that you only pick wisely your fights and your wins. You don’t need to earn your peace and quiet by neglecting, but by lifting up the others. I wonder if you do it with me too, if your silences are just you allowing me to be in a better place while instead your judgment is tearing me apart. I shouldn’t care, but I keep wondering, sometimes I take my time to answer you, I analyse every shade, every peculiarity of your question, I am looking for sarcasm, for a condescending voice, for something to hang on and bare you open. To prove myself you’re not perfect. But deep down I know that you do, you judge me and you do well.

Mother never said so. That’s what one of the girls in my care said today. Ursula. She is tough. Skin as thick as an alligator and the tendency to pull her own hair at night or when under a massive amount of stress, enuresis alongside erratic episodes of mutism. I tried the soft approach, it didn’t work. She is too accustomed to be indulged. Therefore today I pushed her a bit overboard, I teased her over opinions on the female body, the female role, she is only 12, but she is soon to bleed, she knows, I can tell from the way she clenches to her skirts, from the way she looks at me as a threatening figure. I am the incarnation of danger to her. Under her steady silence, I pushed a bit more, asking how her mother taught her to be nice and submissive. Does her mother tells her she is going to be a good wife? The phrase, which I reported at the top of the page, surprised me. What is her mother teaching to her then? What closed her so much, locked her soul away, making a small bird like this choose the silence and the retirement of self inflicted pain over, what? Mankind? Or just Men? Is that even a curse? Should I cure her from a truth that her own mother whispered to her ear one night before bed and made a child decide that the world wasn’t a place to share her time with? Am I the man supposed to teach her that men are worth of trust? In the eyes of modern society, who measures its own value over the modesty of the women, she would be a champion, but at what price? I can’t in any way let her parents bring her back home after our recent meetings. Nevertheless, I have to make up my own mind on how to give her troubled soul ease without making her believe in fables. I, as a man, regard myself not worth of any of the trust they expect me to teach her.

In all of my years practicing with people’s feelings and traumas, I challenged myself to find those same traumas within my own mind. It is a tricky game, terrible, anguishing at times. But it straightens me, the pain of others, the pain of kids mostly, so unadulterated and pure, breaks the curtain between me and the lies that I often surround myself with. Pain is made of method, you can open it up, you can scrutinise it, part it piece by piece dividing it in sectors and, partitions, centre part, side part, heart of the problem. Pain is reliable. Happiness is not. It is random, cruelly sudden, unexpected, it washes over you in such deflecting way only to leave you alone a moment after ashamed and alone. I saw you again today. You were in a table full of what I could only guess as your former university colleagues, I saw pain in you, not heavy but constant. Annoyance, a bit of sadness. Your head titling on side and your eyes drifting on the left, you’re imagining something away from them. A place? An object? Or maybe someone? Your hands play circles at the bottom of the flute of your drink like kids do, your smile only one sided. I don’t see you speak at all, only listen. What could keep your voice down? I almost gulped down my own breath as you looked up and I realised how I must have looked. I was having lunch on my own, in a very private table and even entertaining myself with a newspaper on the side. I wish you didn’t, but you came over, your eyes shining. Did I save you? Or maybe I was just a good excuse to leave that painful meeting behind. Don’t be so nice to me, it is not healthy. Don’t look at me like you expect anything more from me than me listening. I won’t smile back at you, I won’t give you care, attentions or thought. I won’t lean for your perfume, I won’t obsess over that dress you wore, that pin that adorned your neckline keeping your undershirt in place, a silver robin, I remember. I won’t remember the number of the buttons on the side of your glove, three. I won’t observe the little moles just under your ear. A small constellation, I later realised, hidden between your ear and the beginning of your neck. I don’t need to check in my books. It is a constellation. It is Lyra. Why? Why you must be like this? Are you the Lyra? Are you the instrument of Orpheus come to me to drag me out of Hell? The Tartarus holds my soul and you should know already, I am not worth the quarter part of Eurydice to be saved and she never came back anyway. I won’t be now recollecting the way your teeth sunk in the inner side of your cheek when you apologised for the annoyance. You apologised twice, I ignored you both times with a raised hand to request peace and silence. I am not letting you in.

Reserved: Tickets for Wednesday’s evening Traviata by Giuseppe Verdi. The guest female lead promises a beautiful show.

Leonardo, as I am learning through Paul Valery essay, is who I would define as a figure of projective identification of the Subject or, to better explain it, of the knowledge of the Subject that formed and grew through the use of sketches in the experience of the Artist. I have always thought that the finest form of art was the representation of knowledge duly undressed by any personal identification. Leonardo, instead, proceeded to represent the figure through the essence of the artist, a representation technically unlimited on objects and symbols and that keep expressing the transformation and development of Leonardo’s own being.Some artists are testimony of the destruction of the world, of the loss of eternal beauty over decadence. And then you have Leonardo, who creates an art that is the gravity of the world’s system, of the nature, of thoughts and abstractions. I wonder if our killer does the same, if the way they presents the victim through their own personal view, if what we can read there it is their stories, their pains, their needs. Their happiness and troubles. What are they trying to tell me? I need to know, I need to know to save a life, of course, but I also need to know to be able to sleep at night. Hair, hair are the epitome of femininity in any era. I keep studying Ursula and her habit to pull the. I took notes on it: she picks them by the bottom, slowly separates them until she gains an amount her mind defines satisfactory and then she rolls her finger and pulls, she does it until her finger is empty and there are no hair left. I find her process incredibly interesting. In men’s case the display of physical attributes is not as vital, a beard can be appreciated but does not modify the power of seduction of a grown man. On the contrary, for women hair are a vital part of their attractiveness toward the opposite sex, society sees the hair of a woman as part of their vital characteristics, also in ancient times for a woman to cut her hair or have her hair cut was a sign of deep separation from the society. Only heroines or whores wore that mark and the association of the two is so rooted into the way society always parted the role of a woman in two that it is nauseating to think of. I am still fearing to let Ursula go away, the repulsion that she is showing toward her own body makes it difficult even for me to crack her shell open as a man, but my deepest worry is when that hate will take a scarier and deeper tool on her. How a girl with such a fear of what her body can do, like sex or pregnancy, can endure in the future to have an husband? Or even to be courted by anyone?

John is helpless and I admire him for that. He doesn’t hide it, he just is. He is vulnerable and exposed, he is an open well bursting with doubts and feelings and troubled waters. He is genuine in a way I could never be. Maybe that’s why I despise even more him talking about you, how he sees you every morning, how you greet everybody, how you behave even with interns, how you like your coffee. Your talents, your wits, how you said this and acted like that and reasoned through him. How you forbid him to drink even when he felt tempted. How you stayed late over to help him collect all the informations I requested him to get. To him. Not to you. The evil demon of envy scratching in the back of my head screaming like a siren out in the sea, he demands to be heard, he demands to be allowed a part in this game. I won’t allow him that. I won’t allow myself any of that. This is a pure game of chess, if I give in a pawn now, I will lose my knight, and I know it. I advice him to not be so closed minded when he praises you, only to get surprised by the charms of a natural logical mind. I find a way to hurt him, he is an easy target, I look at him as his eyebrows twitch and he summons his patience on me. He lost the plot about you already, his bruised pride taking over. You won’t come into my life.

“Un dì, felice, eterea, mi balenaste innante, e da quel dì tremante vissi d'ignoto amor.” (“On a day, happy and ethereal, you appeared in front of me and from that day, trembling, I lived on an unknown love”)

The words of Alfredo in the first act of the Traviata keep running through me, a chant that won’t let me go, almost painful. The Opera House, that was my hiding place, a place where in plain sight I could let out myself, unleash. The catharsis of the characters involved running through me, I didn’t need anything but their voices and those musical instruments to let out my fears, doubts and anger. When Alfredo came to the scene tonight, the lights were strong and slightly pinkish, the performer bursting out of the seams with passion. My eyes diverted only to see you there. Alone. Those blinding lights gave you the the radiance of a vision singing the notes of greek myths and heroes, that dark blue evening clothing rang through my eyes like it was a bright yellow, the little shiny details that adorned you so clear against the heavy lighting to look like transparent pieces of water collected to adorn your beauty. I wasn’t me, but Alfredo, and I was helpless against you sitting so far and yet too close from me. I was naked in front of thousands. I am aware of the effect you have on me and our last conversation was barely regarded as one. This is infatuation, this is the pure work of a lonely mind and not something worth of any of all the words that I am dissipating here. Yet. I saw you cry at the climax of the opera, Violetta, the protagonist, heartbroken falling on stage consumed by pain and regret for her lost love and ultimate sacrifice. Your eyes shone as you tried to hide the tears and collect yourself. Through my binoculars, I saw your throat tremble and gulp down something more than just a sigh of pain. Your jaw clenched, your gloved hand moves to hide your shaking lips. I reckon, I have never seen such sad lips look more inviting. You look at the wall on your side breathing through your nose and not even that can save you by the strength of the voice of the soprano. You’re defeated and so you brought a fine silk handkerchief to your eyes, your shoulders bent inward in self defence. The Opera won. It won you like it always wins me. I wonder if you felt like this because of a past lover, somebody that broke your heart and made you feel wrong in any way. And because of that little wonder it is even more clear to me why I am a man worth of no trust. Because for a moment, I know, I wished to be the one that broke your heart. That gave you just the pain you’re inflicting on me so mercilessly by offering intoxicating kindness and beauty. To own your thoughts, tears and shame. To be the one man you have to look away from. I want to own all of that and, maybe, I will be freed of you the day you’ll be just another human being that hates Dr Laszlo Kreizler.

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