#the perspectives .... looking at the same scenes how much they change depending who is telling the tale

[andrewknightley]

episode 4 of the afterparty i still dont even have a main suspect 

[bleue-flora]

To be fair I don't see the clip of him saying exile wasn't morally perfect, and the clip of him saying it was torture are not contradictory not to mention in that clip of him saying "I tortured you" Its unclear if hes referring to specifically exile because there are other instances that can be considered torture (aka tormenting c!tommy in that one chase with the threats, beating him up in prison, bringing back c!wilbur with the goal of torturing c!tommy)

If he is talking about exile which I can understand that is the most likely thing he is talking about then referring to exile as morally not perfect to C!sam and then referring to it as torture to c!tommy allign more to me as saying similar things rather than being opposites. Exile both is torture to c!Tommy which c!Dream recognizes, while in his own opinion it is morally not perfect, he downplays it with c!sam because he is speaking from his own perspective but he calls it torture to c!tommy because he is looking into c!tommys own perspective of it and I'd even go ahead and say that he was being empathetic in the finale regardless of if he thinks of what he did as genuine torture or not, he says it in some form of comfort, even referring to himself as a villain in that same sentence and giving back that l'manberg pic. Just my thoughts though. I do agree that usually c!Dream lies when talking to c!tommy and his conversations with c!Sam are a lot more credible, but In this case, I feel he wasn't lying in either clip.

[context]

Okay, good point, perhaps lie vs truth wasn’t my best wording choice, I think sometimes the debate is more so how does Dream see it and does that tell us something about Exile that Tommy’s pov does not or gets wrong. But yea I think for him, he recognizes it as not morally perfect, and as necessary, where he was trying to teach Tommy and helping him not make the same mistakes over and over [clip], but can also recognize that for Tommy it was more so torture. And yea in that other clip it isn’t specifically referring to Exile, though I don’t think Dream sees him chasing Tommy, murdering Tommy in prison, and bringing back Wilbur as him torturing Tommy. I just don’t think it files under his definition of the word, hence my more so assumption about Exile, which he does call in Daedalus “psychological torture”. Now whether he says torture in the finale as a more empathic response or is just playing to Tommy’s view of him as part of his villain persona, is up for debate another time. Though it’s likely a bit of both.

So I suppose it’s not about lies and truth but about how does Dream see it versus Tommy and what does that tell us. In this instance, I don’t think Dream intended for it to be torture, he wasn’t out for blood tormenting Tommy for fun or revenge (at least at first, and consciously), but out of his plan to rehabilitate Tommy. Which is much more contrasting to Tommy’s pov where he just thinks Dream tortured him for malicious kicks and giggles. But yea just because he didn’t intend for it to be torture doesn’t mean perhaps he can’t recognize that it was for Tommy. But he does also say how Tommy deserved it, so I’m not sure he’s empathizing as perhaps as just feeding Tommy’s fantasy of him. Though Dream I think is one of the few characters who has the ability to perceive things from other people’s point of view. Does that make him empathetic or just perceptive? Hard to say from these examples alone. I for one think Dream has empathy, I think we can see it in the trident scene where he tries to raise Tommy’s spirits (almost as if he didn’t realize how bad Tommy would be if people missed the party). I think we see it in how he changes sides so often depending on who’s being wronged, showing sympathy for the hurt side. I think if we see it when he lets Sam go, yes their were reasons but if he truly had no empathy or morals he would have definitely killed him for good, especially knowing the death is off balance or whatever (unless that some lie…) … so yeah hopefully some of that makes sense, words are hard today so I tried.

{I will say I am getting tired of talking about exile and discduo, so if y’all would stop sending asks about them I’d be thankful. I’m gonna answer the ones I have but then I think I’m moving on to a different topic. <3}

[juniperss]

Paintings and Daydreams

A/N: ummm look at me coming out of writing retirement to write this little ficlet for my new Lackadaisy OC, Penelope that @libras-interactives wanted me to write....featuring Maeve. This is set in the same universe as Under the Devil's Moon but these two OCs aren't in the fic.

Characters: Penny (OC), Maeve (OC) Content warnings for hints of neglectful childhood, childhood poverty, and trauma surrounding food and money insecurity. Word count: 1,236 Translations: A Chara: Means 'friend', A stór: "my treasure"

Penelope leaned back on her stool, forcing her to gaze at the painting in a different perspective while at the same time straightening the length of her spine. The tension she had been holding in her shoulders dropping away and each vertebrae of her spine releasing with a satisfying crack. It had gotten dark outside again while she'd been working but she couldn't remember how long ago that was. Only that it had happened twice which meant that she'd been in her apartment for at least two days now with the painting in front of her with minimal breaks. Not that she minded much save for the familiar ache in her fingers now causing her to flex them one by one.

The painting was coming together well; a picnic scene filled with greens of trees and grassy knolls, the blues of the spring sky and a glistening pond, and the blushes and purples of new flowers. She hadn't been hired for this one that much was clear by two simple facts. The first being that it was done completely in watercolor, not a style that brought in many customers, and two being that it wasn't a portrait. Most people who sought Penelope Thompson out were interested in pictures of themselves or their loved ones to hang in their homes. 

This painting was for herself, at least as far as she was concerned, and would only be seen by a handful of people unless Mitzi convinced her otherwise. It was born from another storm of anxiety that seized her chest in a grip so strong she felt as though her ribs were going to crack.

Her anxiety got worse when the weather changed drastically; memories of a childhood were survival depended solely on the kindness of nature, of legs pulled tight to her chest trying to keep heat trapped as best she could during a winter snowfall, memories of cool fingertips pressing themselves to her burning forehead under the suffocating weight of the summer sun.

She had lain in bed for hours trying to breathe her way to peace before throwing the covers from herself and blindly making her to way to a blank canvas. Telling herself over and over that the rabbit trapped in her chest was being silly, that wasn't the same little girl living in the drafty shed of a house with no meals guaranteed. No, she was an artist now, doing well enough that she could paint as she pleased and teach when she needed.

Though that didn't stop her from hoarding non-perishable good or from keeping money stashed away for a rainy day.

Rap, rap, rap!              

Knuckles against the door startled Penelope out of her thoughts and sent her jumping, long legs kicking out directly in front of her and her arms swinging in wild circles and in the process connecting with the glass bottles holding her brushes and the cup of grey paint water.

"Penny! I know you're in there, I can see your shadow," a voice called through wood breaking off momentarily before adding, "and you wouldn't be anywhere else." Penelope knew it was Maeve. She'd know it was her even if her friend hadn't spoken. Mae was one of the small number of people who knew where she lived and one of the smaller number of people who would bother coming to get her in the first place.

Penelope's long legs carried her to the front door and opened it to reveal the smiling and ever friendly face of Maeve O'Connor. Penny was taller than most people, all legs and arms, but the size difference between herself and Maeve was comically apparent. 

“There ya are. Comin’ outta the dark like a ghost.” 

Mae’s accent was more noticeable after a long day of working at the bakery and Penny wanted to wrap herself up in her friend’s voice like a warm blanket. Maeve had a way of pulling the darkness away, illuminating everything that might seem so scary and too dour with the simple action of just being. It had taken Penelope months of interactions before she’d gain the courage to ask Maeve what she saw in her that made her stay when Mae was all the warmth, humor, and jovial spirit that anyone would need. And Mae had just laughed before answering: “Because my warmth is a fire I stoke constantly to stay burning without scorching others and yours is naturally bright and never violent, Pen. You don’t realize how comforting your presence is, how solid you are, do you?” The memory sat in her brain as though a spotlight was pointing directly to it. That’s when she had decided she’d always be as strong for Maeve as Maeve was for her. 

“Earth to Penelope. Hey, you alright?” 

Penelope blinked again and realizing that her friend must’ve been waiting for a response nodded absentmindedly. “Just a little tired, I’ve been painting.” Maeve snorted, tossing her head back slightly with a laugh. “You don’ say? I was wonderin’ why your blush was green.” With the grace of a ballerina and the familiar ease of someone who knew the layout of the home, Maeve weaved her way around Penny’s tall and wiry frame and into the apartment. 

“Gree-” Penelope had just begun to form a question when Mae returned to her with a damp rag, handing it over before perching on the stool that had been Pen’s seat just a few moments ago.

“You’ve got paint on your cheek, A Chara. Well, you’ve got paint just about everywhere but that’s not important. Now hurry up and clean up! We’ve got to meet Mitzi at Lackadaisy!” 

Maeve was right: there was paint everywhere and it took a good five minutes for Penelope to scrub her face, hands, and arms clean. 

“The paintin’ is lovely, by the way. Especially this weird lil fella with the red eyes, he’s rather whimsical. Someone you know?” Penelope glanced up from fastening the buckles on her heels to admire the work that Maeve had just complimented. There were a few cats in the painting partaking in a variety of spring time activities, but the figure Mae pointed out was tucked off to the side, leaning up against a large oak tree watching the others. He was a strange individual by most standards and if it hadn’t been for Penelope’s careful work, Maeve doubted that she would have enjoyed looking at him for much time. But Penny had drawn him beautifully, giving his awkward form a whimsical and oddly endearing quality. 

“No….no, he’s no one I’ve ever met…I..I dreamt of him actually.” 

A hum escaped Maeve’s lips and she raised an eyebrow giving her expression a quizzical look. “A dream man, hmm?”

 Penny, ignoring her friend,  moved to stand next to her friend, holding out her arms and spinning, awaiting inspection and appraisal. “Beautiful, A stór. Now, let’s go!” Mae was always saying how beautiful Penelope was, even with the paint speckles, and over time she had begun to believe her friend. In spite of her big ears, triangular face, gangly body and overall awkward demeanor, Penny was content with the odd beauty that she possessed.

After all, an artist could find beauty in all things. She pulled the door closed behind her, casting one more look at the painting, before locking her apartment and linking her arm through Maeve’s. They were off to see Mitzi.

[wilteddreamsofbaldursgate]

10. Editing and Formatting

So, you’ve written your first draft? Amazing. I’m so proud of you, and I’m so sorry to tell you that this is the point where writing becomes boring. Wait? You thought you’re finished now that your draft is done? Oh, well—it’s really not like that. Actually, this stage of writing is not only the most tedious but most time consuming, because now you have to go hunt for typos and bad grammar, redundant words and irregular spacing. It might just as well happen that you'll find yourself revising your finished draft yet again. I say this is tedious work, but you actually just keep improving your draft, which is a very good thing! Edit your work, constantly. If you read your draft and think “Actually, I could’ve written this or that a little differently, it would’ve sounded so much better!”: Change it, then, honestly—even if it takes half an hour. You’ll regret it otherwise. 

Example:

I edit my work in three stages: 

I read the entire draft just like you would read another writer’s fic. I’m not looking for typos and all that, yet, though if they’re obvious and easy to fix I do that right away or mark them for later. In this round, I’m checking for awkwardness or inconsistency. Things that sound bad or could be better. What really worked for me was being conscious of how I read. I’m aware not everybody has it, but I do have a reading voice, meaning: I hear a voice inside my head while reading. When I’m editing, I try to be very conscious of what that voice narrates. So when there’s a sentence and the narration in my head doesn’t match the actual words written on the page, I will usually change the sentence to what I subconsciously thought the sentence would be like written out. Pretending to be the reader and not writer of a draft can be very helpful, because you have to think about what a reader who doesn’t know the piece you’ve probably read X amount of times by now would expect. In 9/10 cases, my sentences improve.

In this round I re-read the entire draft word for word. Depending on how long my draft is, this can take forever. Now I really get out the magnifying glass and sift through my draft, hunting for typos and such. Nothing spectacular, just really tedious work, but generally worth doing.  

Repeat Step One, but this time I do it after I have copy and pasted my draft to where I eventually want to upload the piece— tumblr or ao3. I save the post as a draft and then re-read it. Two things happen: a) my draft looks different than on my writing program; this has me more alert. b) I see what my draft will look like to readers; helps me get into the reader-perspective. I’m always astonished to see how many more typos etc. I missed the other X times I checked for them! After I fixed them, I usually prepare my post for posting.

There are some online programs that can help you check for grammar and typos, but don’t completely rely on them—especially since free versions of them are not really made for creative writing projects. They just don’t get art, ok? What I can warmly recommend, though, are beta readers. They’re real people who get to read your draft before you publish it. They can help you check for grammar and typos and all the likes, but they can also give you wonderful feedback and tell you what you might improve story-wise. While your beta is more than happy to help you edit your draft, let’s talk about formatting.

Before you share your work with the rest of the fandom, you want to make it look presentable—polish it, so to speak. Your draft can be as good as could be, but it’s pretty exhausting to read a piece that looks bad and it will scare potential readers off. Here’s a very quick list of things you want to avoid:

You don’t want your draft to be one single, long paragraph. Line breaks are your friend. As a rule of thumb: If there’s a new scene (imagine a cut in a movie), you start a new paragraph. Same goes for dialogue—whenever there’s a new speaker, you insert another line break. 

excessive punctuation (e.g. “No!!!!!!!!” He cried.)

weird fonts (choose something that’s easy on the eyes)

overuse of highlighting or emphasising (bold or italics)

bad grammar and punctuation 

If you want to get a feeling for this kind of thing, open a novel and just look at a random page for a moment. There’s a pattern I’m sure you’ll soon recognize—try to recreate that in your own writing.

Next: Polishing your Post 

Masterlist

[phdmama]

Hi! For the Fanfic Writers Ask: #31, #76, and/or #87, if you please.

Oo thank you pal!! xox

31. tell us about one of your characters who’s an absolute joy to write

So one of the things I find interesting when I get a story idea is whose POV it's from. I don't write alternating POV that much (doing one now though), and I've found I tend to gravitate towards writing from Draco's perspective in HP and Louis' perspective in 1D. I may get shit for this, but in most cases I find both of them interesting and flawed characters, and sometimes that's challenging to write. I will say, writing a wise, supportive Ron Weasley is a joy for me! (same for Niall honestly!)

76. what is one essential thing to remember when writing a villain? 

Ooo I am not sure I really write villains a lot, but the first thing that came to my mind was understanding that (at least, this seems true to me) a villain generally doesn't think they're a villain, so understanding why they believe their actions are justified and correct seems like it would really matter to me. While I absolutely believe people can do tremendous evil and harm in the world, I also think most of us are complicated. How people develop their internal moral compass is actually a fascinating question to me, one I think about fairly regularly! A lot of the times when I read an evil character, they're very one-dimensional (yes I'm looking at YOU Nora Roberts) because it's like their defining characteristic is EVIL.

87. does your writing style change depending on the genre you write?

I think my essential voice remains but certainly the tone changes. I feel like my stuff tends either towards short vignettes/scenes which often are more... I don't know, breezy? amusing? at least to me? While my longer, plottier stuff tends to be somewhat more straightforward, I don't think I'm generally a very lyrical writer, but I do think I have moments of that, especially in my longer things, when I really want something to hit more emotionally, but generally I strive for a clean voice that doesn't get in the way of the story, if that makes sense!

[knockyasocksoff2022]

Chapter Seven: A Traitor Among Terrorists (PT 1)

Junichirou Tanizaki's Perspective

~ T ~ I ~ M ~ E ~ ~ ~ S ~ K ~ I  ~ P ~

(Tanizaki, Yosano, and Kenji are in the mafia corridor where Mori helped them escape too)

Mori-san’s words fill my mind. He wants an agency member. He wants one of the agency members to transfer over to the Port Mafia.

He and Yosano are arguing now but I can’t pay attention to it. All I can think of is who he’ll take. I make a list of all the agency members. Would he take the president? Fukuzawa-sensei might make that sacrifice if it didn’t mean completely sacrificing his morals.

Ranpo - No, the president would never allow it, and Ranpo has no combat or even many practical skills.

Kunikida - No, the idealist would sooner die than let his ideals fall.

Yosano - I don’t know what history she has with Mori, but if he did pick her she wouldn’t go easily. Maybe?

Dazai - Mori-san has made obvious requests for Dazai to return, but every time he has honoured his answer. With how stubborn Dazai-san can be it makes sense that Mori-san would have him return to his own volition rather than deal with that stubbornness. Most likely not.

Atsushi - Perhaps. He’s fierce, and has an intense drive. A gift like the tiger could be of great use to the port mafia, but with how much he hates Akutagawa and the mafia in general, he could be troublesome to work with. But his entire existence depends on doing good to earn the right to live. It will probably depend on if Mori-san thinks he can break him or not. It might be easy enough, tell him that usefulness is more than doing good, that as long as he pulls his weight in the Port Mafia he has a right to live. But he’s unstable, risky.

Kenji - the farm boy is strong but he’s so inherently good I don’t even think he’s under consideration.

Kyouka - No. Her will is like Yosano’s, iron strong but with the stubbornness of a young teenager on top of that. Mori-san seems to have let her go, or else Akutagawa wouldn’t have let her get away when the agency attacked the PM headquarters.

That only leaves me.

Something jumps in my stomach. My ability has already been proven useful for assassination. For me, it’s not about what I have but what I don’t. I may not be cruel, but I know that sometimes people have to die. I've accepted it. I’m quiet, I don’t make scenes. I’m not afraid to do what needs to be done, to be the one to dole out death when it is necessary. I would have killed Mori-san, and Ivan, had I been powerful enough. I wanted to kill the virus ability user, Alexander Pushkin. When we realised it was him I remember I was ready to end it right there but he started shooting and hit Akutagawa just before I activated Light Snow. And then he started running and I wasn’t fast enough. I wish I was. I wish I could’ve killed him for what he did, causing us that trouble, pitting our organisations against each other, putting Naomi in danger. The same feelings of rage that had my hands around Higuchi’s throat.

That’s what I’ve realised these past few weeks. Going to sleep every night, forcefully pressed into Naomi, staring out at those five buildings.

You see curiosity is one of those things that eats at you.

-

With Fitgerald-san’s deal on the table, the look of determination on Yosano's face worries me. I may not feel I fit in with the agency but I don’t want any of them to be killed.

(I’m not sure when I began referring to the agency as them instead of us. But All I know is I don’t feel like part of them anymore, I may not be a mafioso but I’ve separated myself from them.)

I saw her entire demeanour change when Mori-san mentioned he could take her back, she no longer looked like a woman, but a damaged young girl. A phrase arises from my memory, “angel of death”. Whoever this “Angel of Death” is, I will spare Yosano from them.

The words are out of my mouth before I can imagine the ramifications. “You really don’t want to join the mafia that much? Then let me join instead.” She freezes, Kenji’s eyes go wide with shock. I might as well join the mafia since the agency has been labelled as traitors. But would that just make the agency look worse. I might not want to be a part of the agency but I don't hate them. I must tread carefully. Throw the attention off me, and get more information, at least until I figure out exactly what I’m going to do. “I’ll do it for you. My Light Snow is useful to them. So please, tell me why . . . What happened between you and Mori-san? Does it have to do . . . with the Hunting Dogs’ talk of the “Angel of Death”?”

She looks like a deer caught in headlights and then her expression turns weary. I’m sure hearing her story won’t change my mind but I am curious. Why would she rather face death than Mori-san?

“I suppose I can’t keep on having you fuss over me. All right. I’ll tell you as I walk.

–

The “Angel of Death” was Yosano all along. Her story is heartbreaking, it makes me think of the dog tags Tachihara wears. Was one of those soldiers Tachihara’s cousin or uncle? Did Yosano meet them, heal them, indirectly cause they’re death? The world is small, after all.

We arrive across the street from the meeting location and the Black Lizard is already there. They’ve found us. Tachihara is arguing with Hirtosu. They’ve been sent to protect us, and Tachihara doesn’t want to. And why should he?

At the realisation that Mori-san knows her so well Yosano huffs. Hirotsu points at us and I follow Yosano over to them. I’m not sure where I stand now that I’m back with the ADA, and I don’t know where to look so I keep my eyes on Hirotsu.

“Mori-sensei worries too much. He doesn't have to. Fitzgerald isn’t springing a trap on us.”

“Oh. Do you have proof?” Hirtosu’s monocle moves when he raises his eyebrow.

“I believe in Atsushi.”

My eyes fall on Tachihara’s dog tags. If you look at him you can only see the chain, the tags themselves are tucked under his shirt, but it’s easy to tell because of the type of chain they’re on, standard military issue. I notice that the plaster he always wears on his nose is peeling.

Hirotsu and Gin have already moved to stand behind Kenji and Yosano, and slowly Tachihara joins them, flanking me. Now that he’s behind me I can’t see his face. I know what he thinks of me shouldn’t bother me this much but his anger still makes me feel like a traitor, to the mafia, that is, even though I’m technically still affiliated with the ADA. I want to turn around, to tell him what I plan to do. To whisper it to him and only him, so even if I don’t get a chance to tell everyone my plan today, he’ll know. He’ll know it isn’t personal. I don’t know why it matters to me so much, just that it does. I want him to know.

Just as I start to turn, the ambulance pulls up, Kenji runs forward and then there's a bang. The ambulance has been blown up.

Kenji lays on the pavement, I run over to him, something whistles past me, and then there’s a sword in his back. It just flew into him, out of nowhere. Is it an enemy ability? Wait! I recognise that decoration on the blade’s hilt, it’s the Hunting Dogs! Fitgerald must have sold us out for money, just as I suspected he might.

I look around to see if any one of my colleagues are hurt, current and future. We’re all fine, but Kenji is still bleeding on the ground.

“EVERYBODY RUN! THIS MEETING’S A TRAP! FITZGERALD’S ON THE SIDE OF THE ENEMY!” Hitotsu’s shout carries, snapping me out of my shock.

I cover Tachihara and Gin with Light Snow as they take out the surrounding MPS. I want to help but I have no weapon and I’m not strong enough to break their necks. I steal a baton from one MPS and I’m about to whack him when something catches my eye, a green raincoat. A man stands amidst the soldiers. It hasn’t rained in three days, and there's something off about the way he moves . . . Another attacker!

“Everyone, watch out– Kenji!”

I watch helplessly as the blade lifts only to plunge back down again. Kenji flops down lifelessly.

“Hang on Kenji, I can- I can take t-this thing out of you, Yosano will heal you. You-you’ll be okay.” I grab on the sword but it doesn't budge and Kenji only screams louder, the sound a horrid thing.

“Move!” 

The purple aura of Hirotsu’s Falling Camelia surrounds Kenji and he’s freed violently from the sword.

“We’ll use a hidden mafia corridor. Come.”

-

The mafia has so many corridors, its grip on the city is far tighter than i’d imagined, maybe there’s hope to win this fight yet. This corridor is much like the one we came here through, I suspect they’re connected.

“God dammit! I told you! This was all a trap!” Tachihara kicks the wall, sending one of the tiles flying. He sits down and it crosses my mind to Hirotsu. It crosses my mind to sit next to them, but I don’t want to leave Kenji.

“Looks like it.” Yosano looks weary but I can see her thinking. I agree that something about this is fishy but we’ve escaped. I just want to focus on healing Kenji and getting out of here.

“The mafia’s armed forces are fighting but the defence line’s crumbling. If the five hunting dogs come along . . . we’ll be crushed with this escape route.” We’re  going to be trapped. I can see it on Hirotsu’s face.

Yosano shakes her head, looking grave. “No, one of them’s already here. That military sword belongs to the Hunting Dogs.”

“The dogs have supernatural physical strength to go with their abilities, It’s said one of them has the fighting power of a thousand man special forces team.” I don’t know how Hirotsu can sound so calm.

“A thousand!? And there are five of them?” discovering my place with the mafia hasn’t suddenly made me dauntless. I’m plenty willing to admit that I’m afraid.

Yosano leans closer to Kenji and I, “Tanizaki, Kenji we need to talk. Let’s split up and run.”

“What? No, we should stick together. At least you and I, I won’t leave you Yosano.” Not yet, at least. I will protect her for now though.

“Hm, alright. But we’ll let Kenji go off on his own, he’ll be less likely to attract attention all by himself.” She turns to Gin. “What about the escape route Mori planned?”

“It’s good, we can launch with five minutes' notice.”

“Okay Kenji, promise me that if we don’t make it, you’ll stake your life on rebuilding the agency.”

He nods, still keeping that sunny smile, “Let’s do it.”

-

The mafia corridors are a maze just like Hirotsu said they would be.

“The map says it should be here.” I look around and there's nothing but more tunnel. Suddenly there's a clang above us, light enters the tunnel, someone has lifted the service grate. Kyouka’s face peers down at us. She’s okay! 

“Kyouka!” Yosano climbs the ladder so fast I have to skip rungs to keep up. 

“Yosano-san! Atsushi lifts her the rest of the way up, pulling her into a tight hug. And I’m on the outside looking in, I don’t mind, it’s nothing I’m unused to. To my surprise, Atsushi embraces me after letting go of Yosano. It’s a short hug, but still surprising. Usually people avoid hugging me at the agency, because they'll be hugging Naomi too. Not that she's a bad hugger, she just kind of squishes you is all. But now that Naomi isn’t here, they’re free to interact with me as they wish. That’ll change as soon as she sees me again, I’m sure. She may never let me go again. I shiver at the thought.

“Junichirou, you spaced out! Are you listening?”

“Huh, what?” 

“Are you okay?” Yosano is looking at me suspiciously.

“Yeah, it’s just a lot. What did I miss?”

“Fitzgerald didn’t double cross us.” Atsushi says as he opens the divider between the back of the ambulance and the cab.

“He didn’t? Well then who?”

“We don’t know who’s behind thi–” Atsushi’s words are cut off by a squeak. We follow his gaze into the cab. It’s filled with blood, and the Hunting Dog sword is in the driver’s back.

“He’s here!” Yosano points out the window. The man in the green raincoat is back. I nod to Yosano, she nods back.

“Go Atsushi, we’ll take him on.” I shove him back into the truck as Yosano and I jump out.

“No, I can help, if it’s the three of us–”

“Don’t be a fool. Winning isn’t key here. It’s keeping Mitchelle alive. I’ve already treated her. We need to bring her to Fitzgerald before the authorities shut off the roads. That is your only hope for reviving the agency.” The sheer amount of determination on Yosano’s face should make any foe think twice.

“What she said, you must save the agency, it’s the only way to save the Tripartite Framework and the city.” Atsushi gives me a funny look but helps Kyouka into the cab. I hear him whispering, “Please let them be safe and make it out alright.”

Yosano must have heard too because without looking back she says, “Don’t worry, I’m not too easy to kill.”

(A/N: Woo! The longest chapter yet!!! I'm not entiely ahppy with this one, I'm not sure if I'm rambling too much or if I'm too all over the place. Also sorry for all the time skips I didnt want to write out the whole mafia corridor dialogue, (Fitzgerald's call, Mori and Yosano's argument, and Yosnao's backstory) I worried it would get boring since thoes elements mainly adhered to cannon.)

A sample of my Junichirou Tanizaki Port Mafia AU

Chapter One: Bloodthrist

Junichirou's Perspective:

My heart beats violently in my chest, from running up all those stairs and from what I'm about to do. I am afraid of course, of the potential retaliation, what this could mean for the agency in the aftermath, for my sister. But for the battle to end, this is our only option. In this fight someone will have to lose their life. This is necessary, I will do what is necessary, to save the Agency, and my sister. Let this life put an end to it all.

Just as I plunge the blade down there's a flash of light and it's cut in half before it reaches its target. There's a hand around my wrist that feels almost solid but not quite.

"Forgive me, child, if this man dies, the mafia will return to the form I detested so." It's a woman's voice, and its presence fills the whole room.

I turn.

The woman herself matches her voice, commanding, brown eyes with a sharp gaze, held on me. Feeling useless I consider dropping the knife. I consider it, but I don't. Instead I tightly grip the end with the handle and make myself disappear.

"Visible or not, your bloodthirst is clear to me. I hesitate to wound one of Kyouka's colleagues but . . ." I swear I hear her sigh, and then there's a whooshing sound, the room is filled with knives. Only one blade but it moves so fast I won't possibly make it out alive. And she knows it, I can tell.

"There's no use hiding, Tanizaki-san. I can still hit you, and don't bother with the window, unless Dazai's suicide obession has rubbed off on you, that is." She just stands by her boss's bed, not bothering to ferret me out, like she knows she's won.

Anger burns hot in my chest turning the room red, but it's useless. I can't touch her. I'm useless.

"You'll still be useful to us without all your fingers, and I think you would prefer I found you, not my Demon. Wouldn't you agree?" She has a determined expression, it turns tired when I don't respond, "I can feel your bloodthirst from here, this is surely getting boring for the both of us. Reveal yourself."

She takes me by the scruff of my shirt neck like I’m some lost kitten and I wonder why she doesn’t restrain me more, but I guess with her gift she assumes I would be too afraid to run. She’s right.

"Good. Now, let's talk business."

(A/N: This is very experimental, I really just want to see if people like it. If you did enjoy this pls like, reblog, and/or comment to let me know. I am writting a second chapter but I'm kind of unsure where the story will go after this. Also I'm still deciding whether or not to include Tachizaki, I know they're a popular rare-pair, should I? If I include Tachizaki I'm thinking of calling it: What does the Tripartite Scheme have to do with Midwinter Snow. Is that a good name or too cringey?)

[collectionofsinglefathers]

OKAY. THAT SCENE. I haven’t started a full rewatch of the episode but I have put on this scene in the background so I can just go through it beat for beat, cuz I have A LOT of thoughts. And a fair warning right now: this is gonna be a REAL LONG POST.

Now, we can’t take every single thing that Asmodeus said at face value. Like he says, he’s the father of lies. But the thing that’s always said about good liars is that not every single thing they say is a lie. And because there’s no way for us to know right now what is true and what isn’t true in what he said, I’m just gonna discuss most of the stuff in the case where it is true, because it’ll just make things easier for me.

The dream being something that actually happened that Zerxus got pulled into somehow changes SO MUCH for me with that intro. I had been operating off the thought that it was as Patia said and Zerxus was seeing a fight from the Schism.

Zerxus casting Cure Wounds on Asmodeus, even though he’s an evil Betrayer God, in my opinion, is extremely indicative of just how incredibly kind he is. Even when he is told that there’s a Betrayer God in front of him, he heals him because he’s still a being in extreme pain, and he knows how it feels to have pain that seems like it’ll never end. He’s still living with his. And I think, as this conversation goes on, he also sees that in Asmodeus.

I do believe that Asmodeus isn’t fully aware of how he got to where he is. My guess at the moment is that, he knows that Vespin did a ritual that broke him and the other Betrayers out of where they were being kept, but he doesn’t know why.

I also believe that he’s telling the truth when he says he takes on the likeness of whoever the person who is seeing him would view as the most beautiful person in the world. I don’t know shit about the wider d&d lore, or about the Lord of the Hells, even in deeper Exandrian lore, I’ve only read the original Tal’Dorei campaign book and it’s been a MINUTE since I’ve read the passage about Asmodeus. But I don’t know, it just feels like it makes sense, because it’s a great way to manipulate people, especially mortals, to do what you want them to do.

Now, I know some people have some Opinions™️ about the fact that there wasn’t even an insight check attempted against Asmodeus, but I’m not gonna get into that until the end of the post. Depending on how long this gets, I may just make it it’s own post. But I will say. He never actually says to Zerxus either way if this is a trick. He doesn’t say that he is, but he doesn’t say that he isn’t. He just says that he knows people are always going to assume that he is. And I will say, I don’t think this is a trick. That’s not the word I’d use for it. This is a lure. That’s how I’d describe this. This is Asmodeus metaphorically putting a carrot on a stick in front of Zerxus, and I think it’s gonna all boil down to what actually happened to Evandrin, who knows about it, who actively kept it from him and, possibly, who could’ve helped him but didn’t.

I fully believe that Asmodeus is using Zerxus’s innate kindness against him, and it’s very clear that Zerxus seeing his husband’s face, even when he knows why Asmodeus looks like Evandrin, it’s very much having an extreme emotional effect on him.

I fucking love the story that Asmodeus tells from his perspective, and however truthful it is or isn’t when it comes to the details, I absolutely believe that his emotions behind the words are genuine.

I’m also never going to be over that Zerxus has gone from yelling at a god, to healing a Betrayer, and then attempting to change that Betrayer’s alignment. Absolutely wild choice and I am so fucking here for it.

I clocked the look that Travis made at this last night because it was the exact same face I made. Asmodeus gave his word that he wouldn’t forget Zerxus. And that’s it. Someone like him, he is going to choose his words carefully, and follow that promise to the letter. He promised he wouldn’t forget Zerxus, but he didn’t promise not to use him, or to take his pain out on mortals. And just because he says he isn’t currently using Zerxus doesn’t mean he won’t in the future. He does say someone else is, and I guess one could argue that could be all of Avalir, but the wording he uses is very specific. He says Zerxus’s fault is that he’s too trusting, and who in the city would he trust more than the Ring of Brass?

It makes so much sense that Zerxus, as a Paladin who is attached to no god, would be able to have these visions like the oracles who are clerics with no god. Both are divine casters in that way.

It is VERY interesting that, despite having been locked away for so long, he knows that Avalir is a flying city. Maybe he was told, maybe the knowledge has been leaking through this portal to him in this in between place that he’s in for the two weeks he’s been there. At least, I assume it’s been two weeks, that seems to be the general time period.

I can’t find the post that I saw saying this at the moment, but there was someone who posited a theory that Evandrin isn’t actually dead, just incorporeal and trapped on another plane, maybe like the ethereal plane, where he can see what’s happening but can’t interact and he’s just lost all physical form and the thing that Asmodeus says about Evandrin’s spirit being nearby during the original vision Zerxus had makes me think about that, and thinking about that makes me VERY SAD.

I’m no expert in the limitations of arcane magic in d&d, so I can’t say for sure whether or not Zerxus is correct when he says that they had to have known a way to bring Evandrin back and chose not to. But I don’t think that would even matter because he very adamantly believes it to be true, and clearly has believed it for years. I think that, along with the full truth of what happened to Evandrin being revealed to him and him finding out that at least one of his very trusted friends kept that of all things from him is going to, at the very least, lead Zerxus down a very dark path.

Zerxus said it last episode to Purvan, and he’s saying it again to Asmodeus. He told Purvan that Avalir wasn’t his home and that they were approaching his home. But I don’t think he meant Cathmoira, not really. This is just speculative, but I like the thought of his home being Elias. And when his home was at its fullest, it was him and Elis and Evandrin all together. Now, it’s a bit broken. To me, that’s a much sadder prospect than just the city on the ground being his home.

Last night, I didn’t have subtitles. I have them on now, and I thought last night that when Asmodeus said the thing about how he understands that mortals will always have a part of them that recoils from him because of the gifts he gave them, I thought Zerxus said “then you may be wrong.” But according to the captions, he says “Then you made me wrong.” And honestly, I kind of love that a lot more.

The fact that he specifically points out that the Protection from Good and Evil protects him from Fey is very much him pointing Zerxus in Loquatius’s direction and saying “you can’t trust him”. But with the way the episode ended, who knows when he’ll even get the chance to act on that thought.

Now, when it comes to the choice to not make an insight check against Asmodeus. First of all, mechanically, I don’t think it would’ve mattered. Asmodeus is a fucking god, and I think any insight check Luis could’ve rolled would have just resulted in, at best, the Brennan Lee Mulligan equivalent of Matt saying “he’s hard to read”. I mean, yes, he could’ve rolled a nat 20, but honestly I think that might have been why he didn’t.

And that’s why I LOVED it. Because it felt real and genuine. @thedragonagelesbian said something very similar earlier today, and I wanna give them credit because it was their post that spurred this specific line of thought for me today (and it’s also the post that informed me that people were even having Opinions™️ about this in the first place).

This isn’t a story where there’s a sliver of possibility that our heroes we’re following here may win. They already lost. It already happened. It’s the history of the world of Exandria. There’s no stopping what’s coming. And it became very clear as soon as this installment of EXU was going to be about the Calamity that this was going to be a tragedy. Making an insight check there doesn’t feel true to the story they’re telling.

It also doesn’t feel true or genuine of Zerxus in that moment. Like Asmodeus says, he’s too trusting. But even more than that, he’s in a very fragile emotional and mental state at the moment. I reblogged that post from @helltothenaw earlier for a reason. Here’s the post.

Now, I’m not an expert on anything really, but especially not on cults. But what I am is an avid listener to the Cult Podcast, and there’s something they say on that podcast that, to me, feels appropriate. There’s a cult out there for everyone, because what cults do is provide for you whatever you may need at the time, whether that need be physical, financial, or emotional.

Zerxus is a man who doesn’t believe in gods at all, and doesn’t worship them. But he’s also a man who is going through A LOT right now. He lost the love of his life, he’s been separated from his son for seven years, and their relationship at the moment is very strained, probably for a litany of reasons. He’s in a position of power that he doesn’t feel that he deserves, and possibly one that he doesn’t even want. Evandrin was supposed to be the First Knight. Zerxus doesn’t even like this city, in fact he even said that he hates it there. He is most definitely the unhappiest of the Ring of Brass. He feels lost. That to me sounds like a perfect opportunity for a being known for manipulation to take advantage of.

[heretherebedork]

Hi. I really wanted to talk to someone about eclipse but no one I know is watching it😭😭 but then I read all your amazing analysis🥰🥰

I just wanted to ask about your thoughts on how akk is as a prefect.

I’ve been thinking about how beloved of a prefect akk would be if the school and its teachers weren’t so shitty. He genuinely wants to protect the students even if he doesn’t always choose a good method. I think the biggest reason he’s so harsh on the protestors is because he thinks his methods are nothing compared to the school. Especially coming from a lower socioeconomic he realizes what having something on your record can be detrimental to the future and he’s trying to stop them from doing what he thinks they will regret later.

He upholds the schools values in front of the students but also doesn’t go overboard with the power play . Like when he stopped namo from taking the phone from the kid but still confiscated the phone because it was against the rules. At the same time he also brings the students perspective to the teachers too. Like the scene where the teachers were drilling into ayan. He thought they were going overboard and went straight to chadok. This is such a mature way of handling situations like this and I don’t think a lot of ppl realize it. He realizes he has that privilege of directly asking chadok and even gave him the benefit of the doubt of not knowing what the teachers were doing. Because he thought that this isn’t something ppl he respected would do.

For him, the rules with the uniforms and not having phones isn’t a big deal. They are easy to follow. But what the teachers did to ayan wasn’t right. It was a clear power play and he was immediately uncomfortable with it. So when taking to chadok didn’t work he went to teacher waree who still had some power to stop this.

A good mentor could’ve really taught him about flexibility of rules depending on circumstances. They could’ve taught him about how different ppl have different priorities. And you have to let them make their own decisions and choose their own consequences 😭 I just think about how much he could’ve thrived if he had better teachers and just😭😭😭😭

That's part of the real message of The Eclipse, between the revolution and the romance.

It's that good people end up hurting people because they're taught the wrong things.

It's that Akk, who is a wonderful young man just doing his best, is hurting Ayan and The World Remembers because he thinks he's doing the right thing because that's what he's been taught.

It's that Kan, a young gay man, is hurting himself and people around him because he's been taught that the only way to exist is to hide who he is because of 100 year old rules upheld by the people those rules benefit.

It's Thua hiding his earrings and staying silent because it's safe and he needs to be safe and he can follow the rules so he does because if he doesn't he gets punished.

It's the teachers all ganging up on Ayan even though he is a literal child because he goes against the rules they're upholding and nothing else matters to them because all of their power is in those rules.

It's why Akk can go to the teachers and talk about Ayan and receive an answer that troubles him because it calls so many of the reasons he's been following these rules into but he also doesn't know how to question them because they're all he knows.

It's how being around Dika is what led Ayan to revolution but also what helped The World Remembers and how we know they knew him and that he was most likely on their side.

It's how losing Dika is what broke Ayan, what sent him there, but it's also the look Akk and Kan shared at the thought that he might be dead, at the loss that would be.

It's about the school erasing Dika because he promoted equality and he promoted the very idea that not all of the old rules must be followed as times change.

Akk is exactly what Suppalo has shaped him to be and, yes, we can see who he could have been and we can tell that he is a good person trapped in a bad place and that, sometimes, he ever knows it. But we can also see that he has accepted his role in this and that he is not backing down despite knowing that what he's doing isn't right.

Akk and Kan are both proof of exactly what Suppalo does to people. Even Thua, honestly, even Wat. They're all shaped by this school that has taught him values that are contrary to who they are as people and you see how much it hurts them.

Kan has so much self-hatred and aching and yearning and pain and he's hiding himself and pushing people away while Akk fights for the teachers to try for any chance to protect other students and Wat knows his dreams are beyond him.

Suppalo is the enemy. Suppalo is taking these boys, these good boys, and turning them into more people who will mindlessly follow the old laws and uphold the old rules just because that's what they do.

[imagining-in-the-margins]

Alex Blake and Spencer Reid in “Through the Looking Glass”

A Defense of Alex Blake from an Autistic Person

Disclaimer(s) before I get into this: Autistic people/people with autism are not a monolith. We are all entitled to our feelings about how people discuss/joke about autism, and some of us will find things hurtful that others do not, and those feelings are entirely valid. The opinion stated below is just my opinion and only speaks to my interpretation.

Also please note that Asperger’s is, in the United States, an outdated diagnosis named after a Nazi. It’s been changed in the DSM to autistic spectrum disorder (ASD/autism), which is how I’ll refer to it in this post. I also don’t use “functioning” labels, but an opinion on this scene will obviously change depending on the severity of a person’s symptoms.

That being said, I’m here to explain why I love Alex Blake, why I don’t think this “joke” was ever a joke at all, and why I actually really love these scenes as an Autistic person.

So, to start, I think that this scene is filmed in a way that leaves it very open to interpretation. I personally find that myself and a few of my autistic friends interpret it a way very different from most allistic (non-autistic) people I’ve talked to.

This scene is, above all, extremely relatable to me. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve discussed something just to be unknowingly describing things that apply to me. This exact scenario has happened to me several times, where someone points out as I describe autism that I was describing myself. When I saw this scene for the first time, I laughed. I laughed because I’d been there, and I was watching it happen to someone else. Things always seem more obvious when it’s happening to someone else, ya know?

This scene makes me happy, too. It makes me happy because I can see the love in Alex and Rossi’s faces when they share that moment after it goes over Spencer’s head. A lot of people view it as a mocking smile, but from my perspective I see two people who clearly don’t view autism as a bad thing and are just finding an innocent joy/humor in his obliviousness.

And I think that’s what a lot of this comes down to. For a lot of people (like my allistic boyfriend, for example), implying that someone is autistic is seen as an insult. But I do not feel that way, and I don’t think Alex or Rossi do, either.

In fact, they are two team members that don’t regularly roll their eyes at him or mock Spencer’s autistic tendencies (unlike Emily and JJ, both of whom I love, although they do regularly kind of hurt my feelings, lol). I mean, in this same scene, I don’t see people talking about JJ’s expression, which is clearly (also innocently) screaming “Do you really not hear yourself right now?”

Later in the episode, Alex is once again confronted with Spencer’s relatively obvious autism, and she actually feels bad about the fact that he might’ve understood what she was saying and interpreted her silence as mocking him. But then it’s very obvious that he didn’t realize it, and she’s just kind of overwhelmed with how much she appreciates him for his autistic traits.

It’s not often that obliviousness to social cues or a blunt, non-sarcastic personality is depicted as something admirable, but that’s exactly what Alex does. She tells Reid that his personality is why she loves him, and that she basically thinks that there is nothing wrong with who he is. She does all of this without ever denouncing his autism or speaking in spite of it.

And I think we also have to acknowledge that Spencer specifically said that he doesn’t take offense to the fact she insinuated he is autistic (and doesn’t deny that he is, either). He outright says that he doesn’t take offense to that idea, and I’m guessing it’s because (1) he also doesn’t view it as a flaw and (2) he knows Alex respects him.

We talk about the rest of the team as being close to Spencer because we see it on screen, but Alex and him knew each other before she arrived at the BAU. Their relationship went further back and in more detail than we saw. To her, he is an intellectual peer and a son figure.

So, yeah. Idunno. I think part of why some people interpret this scene as a bad thing is because we view autism as a problem/flaw. But there are autistic people who exist that don’t feel that way. I love who I am, and that includes my autism. Of course, it comes with its own struggles, but I’m forever grateful for a character like Alex who doesn’t take it too seriously. Someone who clearly loves an autistic person for who they are and doesn’t try to change him.

That’s my defense of Alex Blake. You don’t have to agree (obviously, lol), and if you were harmed by her lines as an autistic person, I deeply sympathize with you. We all feel different things about ourselves, and they should all be respected ❤️

And to all the allistic people who made it this far, thank you for listening! I hope this gives you a different perspective of how deeply anti-autistic narratives and beliefs can bleed into how we write, perform, and interpret autistic characters and storylines.

[notcorrect-persona5]

In Defense of Yosuke’s Parents

I’ve seen so many posts about Yosuke having bad parents which really surprised me because I didn’t get that impression at all. I’ve been meaning to make a post in defense of his parents, but I’ve been working on a Yu analysis. After I saw @personuhh​’s post I thought I’d offer an alternative perspective. I’ll be addressing some of the things they brought up first, and then I’ll get into additional evidence. I have edited this post since I originally posted it because I I wanted to elaborate and reword some things.

My Response

You’re right, Yosuke does take on way more responsibility than a part-timer should. However, I don’t think that’s his parents doing. It seems like Junes is extremely understaffed. In his social link, Yosuke says his dad was “bugging him to find helpers.” I volunteer at a small location of a large church (much like the Inaba branch of Junes), and I have been asked to find more volunteers over and over again because they’re desperate for more help. It’s a lot of work and not enough people. Additionally, both Yu and Chie come in to help due to the lack of staff. I wouldn’t be surprised if Mrs. Hanamura helped out too as Teddie’s under the impression that Yosuke’s parents are always together (which I’ll talk about later). 

On top of that, Yosuke mentions part-timers ditching work and slacking off. When an employee doesn’t show up, Yosuke (and Teddie) are often called in because their managers know they’ll show up. People who are reliable are given more responsibility, period. It sucks, but if someone needs help they aren’t going to ask someone who they don’t see as dependable. I volunteer at church every week, and I have been asked countless times if that’s okay because they don’t want to overwork me. Every time I say I don’t mind, and I assume Yosuke would have the same reaction if asked. Not only is it Yosuke’s natural instinct to help people, but he was kind of a pushover before the events of (and at the start of) Persona 4. In his third awakening, Yosuke says he was overworked and taken for granted. That’s not okay, and it’s a huge problem, but Mr. Hanamura isn't the cause of that. Mr. Hanamura is the general manager; his job isn’t to create the part-timer’s schedules. 

It’s true that Yosuke tries to work out the problems of other employees and listens to their complaints. There is no indication that Yosuke was told to do this, and I don’t know why he would be. In his social link, there are two girls who act as if he has more power than he does. They demand a raise, ask him to give them the day off, and assume he has knowledge about another employee’s schedule. Yosuke says he doesn't have the power to help them, and in a manga page he says “I may be the manager’s son, but I’m still just an employee.” Yosuke is doing much more than the average part-timer, but he isn’t being given the responsibilities of a manager.

As for the Junes concert, Mr. Hanamura did not tell Yosuke he was going to be fired. Yosuke came to that conclusion himself. Mr. Hanumura did not ask Yosuke to find a solution or ask Rise for help. Yosuke only asked Rise for help because he was scared of moving again. I understand how the phrase “awfully nice for some reason” could come across as odd, but I don’t think he meant his dad isn’t usually nice. In the Persona 4 Manga that scene is translated as “My Dad’s been extra nice to me” meaning his dad is nice, he’s just being extra nice, and I’m not surprised. Yosuke was extremely unhappy when he moved to Inaba. Despite trying to hide his feelings, you can see in The Magician that he didn’t do a very good job of it. And now that Yosuke is finally happy, they might be forced to move again. Of course, Mr. Hanamura would feel guilty. Oftentimes, when people feel guilty, they start acting nicer - unnaturally so - to make themselves feel better. Chie (who is already very kind) even does it after she and Yukiko spend Yosuke’s money on clothes for Teddie. Yosuke notices the shift in her attitude and tells her that he’s worried. It’s the same reaction he had toward his dad’s behavior.

The only reason I bring up Chie is to show an in-game example of someone being overly nice due to guilt. What Chie did was wrong, that’s why she feels guilty. The reason Mr. Hanamura would feel guilty is his job may have to move his entire family again. The cause of their guilt is different, but they are responding the same way.

I don’t think Mrs. Hanamura not wanting her son to own porn is unreasonable. My mom doesn’t like magic, so I wasn’t allowed to read or watch Harry Potter growing up. Similarly, a friend of mine wasn’t allowed to watch iCarly. As for Mrs. Hanamura burning Yosuke’s porn in Arena, that’s the third time (that we know of) that she’s seen his porn. I assume she’s told him she doesn’t want him looking at pornography, but he continues to do so anyway. Burning his magazines may seem dramatic, but she was likely just frustrated that he kept disobeying her. 

I don’t think Yosuke’s parents are the reason why Yosuke wants to be seen as manly. I haven’t seen anything that implies that. I think Yosuke’s desperation to be seen as a man comes from Japanese society and his fears regarding his sexuality.

Mr. Hanamura came up with this slogan because they were selling jinbei's which are traditionally worn by men. It’s a play on words. This isn’t the first time Mr. Hanamura has come up with a cringey slogan.

It seems Mr. Hanamura has that stereotypically “dad humor” which is typically associated with positive father figures (it’s not always). Yosuke saying his dad is still saying the “MANsoon” slogan gave me reminds of kids being like “Dad, that’s a bad joke, stop”, but the dad continuing to make his bad jokes regardless. It’s very Disney Channel and sit-com like.

I don’t remember Teddie saying he watches violent war movies with Mr. Hanamura, but I don’t see how that connects to the idea of Mr. Hanamura pushing Yosuke to be a “more masculine, traditional, unshakable, unemotional man.” The idea that only those types of men watch war movies is the type of thinking Kanji’s and Naoto’s shadows were trying to address. I don’t think Mr. Hanamura cares about being that type of stereotypical/traditional man because of his relationship with Teddie. Teddie is not very masculine (he even says so in Persona Q, screenshot will be later), and he isn’t hiding it. 

This exchange is from Kanji’s Persona 4 Club Profile. Teddie went to the store to buy female clothing, and he asked Kanji to make him a dress (the one from the cross dressing pageant). He already owned his “Alice dress” before the cross dressing competition, and I assume he’s worn it. In Arena, you can see the dress is hung out in the open in their bedroom. He also wears hair clips. 

This is not “masculine behavior” yet the Hanamuras don’t seem to have a problem with it. If anything, I’d say they’re pretty open-minded. If they disliked that way Teddie behaved, Teddie would change himself to fit the way they want him to be. I mean, the kid literally grew two new bodies in effort to get people to like him. Due to Teddie’s low self-esteem and need to be loved, he takes any sort of criticism to heart and does his best to act the way others want him too. In Persona Q, Yukari says he’d be cute if he was quiet, so Teddie stops talking. 

In Persona Q, Teddie says he’s realized that to steal hearts he needs to be manly. He gets this realization from Koromaru. He did not think this prior. 

Teddie saying Koromaru gave him this realization means the Hanmuras never said anything to him about his less masculine behavior. 

As for the song lyrics you posted, I don’t really think that means anything. Yeah, people often relate to the music they listen to, but they don’t have to relate to every lyric or even song. My favorite artist is Taylor Swift, but I don’t really like romance. I don’t relate to most of her songs, but I still jam out to them. I could be super wrong about the song thing though because I’m not a huge music person.

My Own Additional Analysis (with some elements of response)

In this section I’m going to talk about Mr. and Mrs. Hanamura’s character and personality, their relationship with each other, Teddie, and Yosuke.

Let’s start off by talking about their personality. They seem to be very carefree people. Yosuke has less than average grades. In the Persona 4 Animation, he didn’t even show up to one of the exam days. Academics is extremely important in Japanese society, yet his parents don’t seem to be pushing him to get better grades. Considering how carefree Yosuke can be, it makes sense that he may have gotten that trait from his parents. 

Yosuke’s family is pretty wealthy. It’s mentioned more than once. They also live in a pretty big house (you can see it in The Magician), Yosuke’s cell phone seems to be a newer model, and he has a large, flatscreen TV in his bedroom which wouldn’t be very common when the game took place. Despite this, Yosuke works for his own money. He complains about being broke and needing save up. I think the reason why Yosuke has a job despite being well-off is because his parents want him to have work experience and grow up to be a hardworking person, so he can succeed in life. It makes me think that hardwork is important to them.

Due to this conversation, I think Mr. Hanamura is a very honest man. Yosuke says he was surprised his dad was against selling gas masks, likely because from a business standpoint, that’s a really big missed opportunity. I think it’s also worth noting that ATLUS talks a lot about how people naturally fit into the masses, including the main characters. That’s why it’s surprising that his father is going against the masses. Although he’s losing money and has faced many hardships running Junes, Mr. Hanamura refused to do something that was against his moral compass.

In Persona 4 Drama CD #1, Junes is closing down half of the electronics section due to a lack of sales. Despite this taking place in March, Teddie panics and hopes to sell a TV set in a month in exchange for keeping the TV they enter the TV World through where it is. 

Yosuke isn’t afraid to ask his dad two huge favors with a not very good reason (side note: Yosuke had to lie because the truth is that’s the TV he and his friends used to go into the TV world and fight shadows). Despite Yosuke’s best efforts, his father says no. He doesn’t really have any choice but to close part of the electronics floor. Junes is losing money by keeping it open. I think Mr. Hanamura gave him the vouchers because that’s the only other way he can help. Teddie made a deal that if he sells one TV set by the end of the month, they’ll keep the TV that leads to the TV world. He’s trying to advertise the TV set by promising other surprise items coming with it. These Junes vouchers are part of those surprise items. 

It’s no secret that many of the shopping district families despise Junes and the Hanamuras. Many horrible things have been said about their family, yet Junes still teams up with the shopping district in the YasoInaba Case File to help keep them afloat. Whether or not this was Mr. Hanamura’s idea, he’s the one who has to approve it, and he does. Despite being treated horribly by them, he still wants to help the shopping district. Junes teaming up with shopping district might be a good business move, but they didn’t really need to do that. The problem is that Junes is taking away the shopping district’s business. Junes doesn’t need to team up with the shopping district to do well. The two of the teaming up benefits the shopping district way more than Junes. It doesn’t do much for Junes other than the shopping district maybe not hating them. At the end of the day, the shopping district families would still shop at the shopping district to keep their businesses afloat, so Junes isn’t getting a lot more business.

When Teddie came to the real world, Yosuke offered to take Teddie home with no hesitation. He didn’t think it would be a problem with his parents or show any concern about how he would convince them. I think this goes along with them being pretty carefree as well as showing that they’re kind and generous people. Not everyone is willing to take others in like that. Yosuke’s also comfortable with asking his parents such a huge favor.

Teddie talks about Yosuke’s parents in a really positive light, and I would say they treat him like their own son. For example, on January second Teddie says, “I got New Year’s gifts! Yosuke’s mom and dad gave them to me!” (edit: Someone said “notice how Yosuke doesn’t say the same thing.” He doesn’t need to. It’s Japense culture to give younger family members gifts for new Year’s. Yosuke saying something would be the equivalent of, “omg my parents gave me a birthday present!!” It would have been weirder if he did say something then. Teddie is excited because because this is his first New Year’s. He’s never experienced this before. Also, Yosuke did get New Year’s money. He talks about saving it on 1/10 when walking to school).

I think I remember Teddie saying he watches movies with Mrs. Hanamura, but I have no idea where he says that. There’s a 50/50 chance I made that up and convinced myself it was canon, so don’t take my word on that one. 

Teddie breaks A LOT of rules at Junes. He steals topsicles, rode a handi mover through the store, slept on both a display bed and the floor of electronics department, been yelled at for eating samples, been chased by store security, and Yosuke had to monitor Teddie during his late night shift because they didn’t trust him to work alone. Teddie’s a terrible employee, yet he hasn’t been fired. I think the reason for this is he’s basically the manager’s son. I do want to say that just because they consider Teddie as their own child doesn’t mean they treat Yosuke as anything less. I haven’t seen a single thing that has implied that there is favoritism going on.

Yosuke and Teddie act a lot like brothers (Naoki even suspects that they're related), and Yosuke’s parents seem to treat Teddie like their own son. He even wears their family crest in offical art. I looks like ATLUS wnted the four of them to be a family. And If that’s the case, it wouldn’t make any sense for Mr. and Mrs. Hanamura to be bad parents.

Additionally, if Mr. and Mrs. Hanamura treated Yosuke badly, and Teddie noticed, I think Teddie would say something.

The second Yukari said something slightly mean about Yosuke, Teddie defended him. He doesn’t like when other people say mean things about Yosuke. Not to mention conflict really stresses him out. If Yosuke’s parents treated him badly, I there’s a chance Teddie might see the problem.

I think it’s also worth noting that Yosuke’s parents have a really healthy marriage.

This quote implies that they’re rarely apart and get along really well. A happy marriage doesn’t automatically equal a healthy household or good parents, but it really increases the likelihood. 

For context, Yosuke is talking about Teddie in this picture. I’m not from Japan, so I don’t know if most families there eat breakfast together, but my family - despite being very close - does not. We all eat and start our day at different times. In my mind, eating breakfast together is a very domestic thing to do. Even the phrase “Hanamura family breakfast” screams domestic to me.

This conversation gives me the sense that Mr. Hanamura has a great deal of trust and respect for Yosuke. I mean, I don’t think he would accept Yosuke’s idea if he didn’t. Adding a kid’s menu would be pretty exspensive. Not only do they have to print the kid’s menu, but they have to design them, create new menu items, and depedning on what’s on the menu buy more food or ingredients. That adds up, and if it isn’t successful then they’ll lose money. Mr. Hanamura has to approve that idea, and he’s putting in trust that it’s going to be successful. Also, Yosuke is comfortable enough to “push really hard” for his idea.

All in all, it is my personal opinion that the Hanamurs are a really close family. It would make sense for ATLUS to go in that direction to create a contrast to the Narukami’s, after all. That being said, neither headcanon is wrong. It just comes down to how we interpret the very little information we’re given.

[mostlymovieswithmax]

Movies I watched in July

Once again I’m doing my monthly round-up of movies I’ve watched. This was a good month for the cinema getting back on track and seeing new releases including the new M. Night movie, Old and James Gunn’s The Suicide Squad. Pretty sure Marvel put out a new movie also. I’m hoping that this list can help in guiding a decision about what to watch (or what to avoid) and introduce people to movies they may otherwise not have heard of or bothered to see. These short reviews are my own subjective opinions on each individual movie and maybe a more informal approach to movie criticism can help include others who are just passing through. Here is every film I watched from the 1st to the 31st of July.

Bridesmaids (2011) - 4/10

Off to a good start. I won’t say Bridesmaids is a terrible movie but I don’t think I’m exactly the target audience. As far as I know, this is a beloved comedy but I just can’t get on board with all the boring, juvenile humour; with Maya Rudolph shitting in the street, with Rose Byrne and Kristen Wiig trying to one-up each other at a toast that went on forever, with Melissa McCarthy shitting in a sink… the conflict is so done to death and makes the movie feel unspecial. I do understand the appeal of the film, especially for women in that before this movie the likelihood of seeing something like this, where women play up the more crass and gross side of comedy, was probably few and far between. But the story is very tired and while I did appreciate some moments, namely a couple of decent jokes and some of the more intimate scenes, for the most part it felt like they wanted to corner a more quiet type of line delivery in a way that was supposed to be understated but very funny so as to not rely on over the top body language or musical cues, and it ended up being super dull.

Spectre (2015) - 7/10

As far as I can tell, a lot of people don’t like this instalment of the James Bond franchise… but I really enjoyed it! I’ve really taken a shine to these Daniel Craig-era Bond movies and while I can’t say any of them are the most amazing thing, I have a lot of fun with them. The biggest problem I have with Spectre is the villain being utterly pointless and uninteresting in basically every way. The idea of every villain Bond has fought before being tied to this one organisation controlled by this one guy is ridiculous, and what makes it worse is that the villain is barely in it! There’s so much that doesn’t come together in this but as it goes, I still had a really good time. Daniel Craig holds the whole thing together; he is excellent as 007 and the main reason I’m up for each of these movies is because of him. Sam Mendes directs again after the previous instalment and for what it’s worth I do think he does a good job with some of the action set pieces and the locations. I’m so ready for No Time To Die.

Shazam (2019) - 7/10

Shazam is a genuinely fun superhero movie that doesn’t take itself seriously at all. I was having a great time throughout and while it could conform to some of the same tropes we’re used to with these kinds of movies, it still remained playful and used the character of Shazam to his fullest potential in a way that showed an understanding of just how silly the idea of a kid who can turn into an adult and shoot lightning out of his hands is.

High School Musical (2006) - 6/10

So as you may or may not know, I co-host a podcast: The Sunday Movie Marathon. It’s a film podcast and every week I get together with my other co-hosts and watch movies. For episode 38, we watched the High School Musical trilogy. This first movie blew me away. I was really surprised with just how much fun I had, and if you want to hear more of my thoughts on the film, please listen to episode 38 of the podcast.

High School Musical 2 (2007) - 4/10

We then jumped into the second and while it’s certainly not as good as its predecessor, there are still some brilliant songs that manage to top the last movie. Again, more of what I have to say can be heard on episode 38 of the podcast.

High School Musical 3: Senior Year (2008) - 3/10

Senior Year was pretty hard to get through. I don’t remember it being as bad as it was, but then I didn’t really remember it anyway. It did however have one redeeming quality, which you can discover on episode 38 of the podcast.

The Piano Teacher (2001) - 9/10

What the fuuuckkkk. The Piano Teacher is horrendously affecting and I was so upset when it ended, maybe not because it’s not what I wanted but because it’s just so fucking dour and unrelenting. This is the second Haneke movie I’ve seen (after the original Funny Games) and I’m so impressed with how well executed it is. Following a woman who teaches piano, we get a glimpse into the life she lives, how sheltered she is from living with her mother at an age where you’d reasonably expect a person to be living alone or with a partner or friends (even going so far as to be sleeping in the same bed as her), and how repressed she is sexually. It’s clear she’s never experienced any kind of sexual interaction or romantic love with another person, so she goes out of her way to take control and make that happen. The upsetting nature of it comes from just what she does in pursuit of it or as a result of her repression, and what is done to her. It is by no means a movie to recommend to your parents but The Piano Teacher offers so much in terms of the ideas it presents (and I’ll admit there seems to be a lot more going on than I think I picked up on a first go round) about women in modern society, and about the portrayal of sex and expectations of people when it comes to how that is represented in a person’s character depending on their gender. I really enjoyed this movie but it is not for the faint of heart.

Sharpay’s Fabulous Adventure (2011) - 1/10

My podcast co-hosts decided it’d be a right laugh to add Sharpay’s Fabulous Adventure to this episode and that might have been a fun idea for them because they got to watch it together, but I was just watching it alone. Just a 24-year-old man watching Sharpay’s Fabulous Adventure alone and having a miserable time, I might add. But for a short and sweet ramble on what we all thought, please listen to episode 38 of The Sunday Movie Marathon podcast.

Dr. No (1962) - 6/10

A lot of very iffy parts of this movie. A lot of discomfort arising from how black people are portrayed that really didn’t sit right with me. As far as a Bond movie goes, this first instalment in the series is one I’ve seen before and it’s not wholly engaging but it plants the seeds for the rest, with Sean Connery breathing life into the role and making an otherwise lacklustre plot bearable.

Black Widow (2021) - 6/10

I think probably the best part about Black Widow is the experience I had while watching it. It was great being back in the cinema with a couple of friends in a packed theatre. The energy was high and I’m sure for a lot of people, this is the first time they’d been to the cinema since Endgame. For what it’s worth, I did have a lot of fun with Black Widow and I’ve explained more of what I thought about the movie in episode 39 of the podcast.

The Climb (2020) - 10/10

The Climb was added to Now TV recently and I already knew I loved it, having seen it in an empty cinema theatre last year, which I had an absolute blast with. The Climb details the years of a rocky friendship told over scenes filmed as one-shots. Not only is the presentation something to gawk at, but the performances by the two leads playing these friends with a terrifically dysfunctional dynamic is truly captivating. They’re both trying to figure out their own lives and where one can come across as being rather selfish, the opposite is true in his counterpart, whom everyone loves. This is a truly funny and heartwarming movie with a lot to say about how we choose to live our lives and who we choose to be with. It’s a shame the distributors of The Climb didn’t do a very good job because if not for it being available on Now TV, it would be near impossible to watch without forking out more money than is necessary to purchase a film.

From Russia With Love (1963) - 5/10

The second Bond movie. I thought perhaps I’d change my mind on it with another watch, having seen it for the first time maybe a year ago. But no, it’s still largely boring and it treats women like absolute garbage. From Russia With Love is one of those movies I forget as I watch it, and I was trying very hard (in the middle of the day!) not to fall asleep.

The Good, The Bart, and The Loki (2021) - 1/10

I don't usually talk about the short films I watch but for this I'll make an exception. As we all should know, Disney owns The Simpsons now, through their acquisition of Fox, so, coupled with another of their properties, that being Marvel, they decided to make a six-minute animated film wherein Marvel’s Loki is stranded in Springfield. This felt as though it was a minute long due to the horrendously jarring pacing; it is a movie that feels adamant that it needs to exist, while trying as hard as it can to be over as soon as possible. It serves only to stare the audience directly in the face and say “look, characters from The Simpsons are dressed as Avengers”, shit out three credit scenes, then end before you’ve even processed the atrocity you just bore witness to.

Russian Ark (2002) - 8/10

For this next episode of the podcast, we watched a few Russian movies, starting with Russian Ark, a film shot completely in one take as the camera moves about a luxurious museum in a first-person perspective as this main character watches what is happening around him, seeing people moving about the place but unable to interact with them, guided only by another man who seems to be just slightly out of his own perception of reality. This is a tremendous feat in filmmaking and more can be heard about what I have to say in episode 39 of The Sunday Movie Marathon podcast.

Ivan’s Childhood (1962) - 7/10

For my own pick of Russian movies to discuss on the podcast, I chose the debut feature from one of my favourite directors, Andrei Tarkovsky. It’s amazing that while this is not his best film by far, Ivan’s Childhood is still such a stellar debut, jumping around in its timeline as it details a child’s experience in the second world war. Again, I do go into more depth in episode 39 of the podcast, so be sure to check that out.

Outlaw (2019) - 1/10

The third movie chosen for this marathon is apparently the fourth Russian LGBTQ+ movie ever made. I’m unsure of the ultimate goal of this movie but what seems to be clear is that it hates the LGBTQ+ community. This is perhaps the worst film we’ve discussed on the podcast to date, so listen to episode 39 to understand exactly why it’s such trash.

Almost Famous (2000) - 7/10

I too love heavy music and also studied journalism so it stands to reason that a movie about a teenager who makes his way onto a band tour, following them through America and interviewing them as they hang out and play shows is going to be a premise that resonates with me. This certainly did. I enjoyed Almost Famous a lot; this kid is living the dream and I was so along for the ride, seeing a lot of myself in what was being portrayed. That said, the story itself is at times a bit by the numbers and I really would’ve been more on board if the visual component was more interesting. For what it is, technically it’s fine enough but nothing in that department ever jumped out at me.

Minari (2021) - 8/10

It’s crazy that this didn’t get a theatrical run where I live in the UK. It feels as though I complain about film distribution all the time but I really don’t understand the process by which a movie gets no cinematic release and yet, months later will pop up on the front shelf of hmv, taking pride of place. But of course I got the blu-ray straight away. Minari has a lot to say about the immigrant experience, specifically in America as a family comes over from Korea and tries to start a business and make something of themselves. You get to see a lot of what you might not think twice about when you think about immigration: the hardship of coming from a place where you know everyone to somewhere rural and sparsely populated, having to make friends with locals and integrate within the community; the strain it can put on a family and on a marriage where this idea is presented about the importance of making it on your own in order to live and not just survive, while also taking into account why you’re doing it in the first place and the value you place on being part of a family that you decided to make because that was more important than money, than economy, than proving you were good enough to make it in a place that gave you very little advantage from the offset. This concept of the promised land, of the American dream is a construct. There are times when it’s not pretty, when you have no running water, or you’re in debt, or a family member is dying and it just feels like you’ve been dealt as bad a hand as you can get. But it is better to know you’re not facing all that alone.

Roma (2018) - 10/10

This was my recommendation for the podcast episode on Alfonso Cuarón movies. Roma is as beautiful as it is heart-wrenching and I would recommend listening to episode 40 of the podcast to find out more about my thoughts.

An American Werewolf In London (1981) - 8/10

In all fairness, London is enough to make anyone a little crazy at the best of times. An American Werewolf in London showcases some fantastically grotesque effects, akin to something like Carpenter’s The Thing, in showing the dead brought back to life and a horrifically gory transformation scene. Although the film is from the perspective of an American protagonist, directed also by an American, the depiction of British culture and climate is something I’ve not seen many films pull off quite so well, and I was pleasantly surprised at the more comedic tone the film has overall, which is something that works more in its favour than straight horror would.

The Party’s Just Beginning (2018) - 6/10

Karen Gillan’s directorial debut is… pretty good! There are a lot of ideas I like in this movie: a woman living life and through convenient circumstances, is confronted with death in many ways. Gillan obviously knows her homeland as well as she can, imbuing the whole thing with an intensely Scottish vibe (though maybe not in the same vein as something like Trainspotting) that makes it a bit more unique than a more run of the mill movie of this ilk, backed up in no small part by her own main performance. The plot itself is no great diversion from the kind of story I’m used to with these smaller movies and for something that’s trying to include messaging about transgender issues and suicide, it probably could have been handled better or done in a different way.

Solaris (1972) - 9/10

Another Tarkovsky joint, one I thought I’d revisit to see if there was indeed more to get out of it a second time. Well, it’s no surprise that yes, there was certainly more to get out of it. Solaris is a crazy trip of a movie and I would liken it to Kubrick’s 2001 in terms of how grand the scale of it feels. Yet this is a film that comes across as deeply personal, choosing to focus on a specific character as he goes to a space station to help those on board who are experiencing some kind of emotional crises, only to feel the effects of the planet, Solaris invading his own mind as it has the crew. To many, I can see this lengthy Russian sci-fi being a tad slow but my personal experience is one of deep engagement. Solaris pulls its viewer in a lot of different directions and it is always doing something unexpected in terms of where its narrative goes. There’s a lot to think about with the movie and thankfully it’s no chore to watch again.

Y Tu Mamá También (2001) - 9/10

Another recommendation for the podcast episode on Alfonso Cuarón movies. This is a very relaxed experience, following three young people as they go on a road trip, visit different places and have sex. Listen to episode 40 of The Sunday Movie Marathon podcast for more of my thoughts.

Children of Men (2006) - 10/10

My favourite Cuarón movie, one that never stops being tense as its characters are constantly moving towards the end goal. Set in a future where humans are infertile, the oldest living person is 18, and London is the last city in the world that’s still keeping it together, somewhat. This is masterclass filmmaking. Listen to episode 40 of the podcast for more insights.

Minority Report (2002) - 5/10

I’m really not the biggest fan of Spielberg… Minority Report is an interesting movie in terms of its concept of stopping crimes before they happen by way of prediction, but I just didn’t connect with the heart of it. The colouring is way too overexposed in a way that’s supposed to be eliciting a futuristic vibe but instead feels so early-2000’s in the worst way. My biggest problem with Minority Report is just how long it is, clocking in at two hours and twenty-five minutes which allows for a lot of meandering, all while never quite developing characters enough for you to care about.

Caché (2005) - 9/10

Oh god! Another Michael Haneke movie! Here we see a couple periodically sent video tapes featuring hours of footage of the outside of their house. The anxiety ratchets up and the mystery gets deeper with every minute. There’s always at least one moment in any of his films that have so far made me realise just how out of my depth I am. Caché is no exception, and I won’t spoil anything here because I think it’s better just to watch the movie and see for yourself. He is a director that wants the audience to know something and that something is never what is explicitly shown at face value; it is pressed into the fabric of the film - plainly evident, yet hidden. Caché is so stupidly clever in displaying its themes and messaging - making reference to the Siene Massacre of 1961 as well as a deeper study of colonialism - and there’s no way to change a single detail of it without risking the Jenga tower crumbling to the ground. It all works in tandem. It is passion and fury and haunting.

Coco (2017) - 7/10

Pixar had a string of around seven forgettable movies before this point so thankfully Coco emerged to show the company still had something good in them. Coco deals a lot with themes of death and legacy, remembering those who are gone in order to preserve them and while its plotting is quite basic and there are certainly moments that either drag or cannot escape the same Pixar formula, most of what the movie has to offer is a lot of fun, with creative, colourful animation and emotional beats that resonate the way they’re supposed to.

Incredibles 2 (2018) - 5/10

Oh, they almost had it! There's a lot here that could have been explored in far more interesting ways. Setting Incredibles 2 directly after the events of the first movie was not a good idea. If it had taken place five or ten years after, the characters could have been in different places in life and it would feel as though they'd actually changed and developed. But instead of trying to be a film that actually cares about its characters and the journeys they go on, a lot of the film is wrestling with the idea that Bob isn't supportive of his wife and Jack-Jack has to fight a raccoon… They have to shoehorn in a villain that in no way compares to the genius of the original. The ending of the original introduces another antagonist that gets wrapped up within this film's first ten minutes, except they don't catch him and he's never mentioned again. It's a real shame because the animation is fantastic and the acting is superb and there are great ideas sprinkled throughout. It just doesn't come together.

Toy Story 4 (2019) - 6/10

I was rather reluctant to watch Toy Story 4 because from the get-go I’m not really here for sequels being made just for the sake of it. Everyone loves Toy Story and making another one is a sure fire way to make money. This is the first time I’ve seen Toy Story 4 and for what it’s worth, I did enjoy it. The animation is immaculate and that alone feels like a huge flex from Pixar who tend to step up the game when it comes to animation in film, despite not having the best track record for films generally at this point. While it was nice to see these characters again, I found a lot of them to be side-lined (namely Buzz) in favour of a story that focuses mainly or entirely on Woody, who I just don’t like as much as in the previous movies. Generally the movie is good and decent enough but there’s no real antagonist and the plot is quite loose… it doesn’t feel as though it needed to be made from a story point of view.

Onward (2020) - 6/10

And with that I have seen every Pixar movie. And Onward is a fine one to go out on. While I don’t think it compares to the likes of earlier Pixar it’s still pretty fun. Or maybe I’m just a sucker for a medieval setting filled with bright colours and magic! Speaking of which, the animation was super and the medieval quest element is something that hooked me with the film. Again, plot-wise it does feel very familiar and I don’t know, maybe I’m past the point now of expecting Pixar to mix it up where their formula for story-telling is concerned but the movie is quite predictable. Nonetheless, while I’m not rushing back to see Onward I would hardly turn it off or refuse if someone wanted to watch it.

Old (2021) - 3/10

Oh boy! New M. Night movie dropped and my word, was it fun! For more of my thoughts on this… masterpiece (?) of a movie, please direct your attention to episode 41 of The Sunday Movie Marathon podcast.

T2 Trainspotting (2017) - 5/10

Trainspotting is perhaps one of my favourite movies and I had never bothered with the sequel, 20 years on, because the ending of that first movie is so conclusive. T2 felt more an excuse for these guys to get together again and in that, I probably would have preferred a couple of pictures on Twitter of the main cast and director, Danny Boyle having dinner or something. This is a fine movie - very arty in its presentation but meandering and dull in its story that doesn’t offer much in the way of proof that it had to exist.

Taste of Cherry (1997) - 9/10

What makes life worth living? This is a central question and theme of Taste of Cherry, and one that leaves such interpretation not only up to its central character but to the viewer as well. This film got me thinking about times in my life when I truly have had no answer to hard questions. Because it’s hard to convince people of things they are so adamantly against and harder still to rationalise what you believe if you’re not even entirely sure why you believe it in the first place. We are all of us alive and in recognising that, does that make it precious? And if indeed living is not a happy thing, why then should we fight so hard to preserve it? I felt upset as I watched this movie because I’ve been asked these kinds of questions before and it makes me feel stupid when I’m unable to answer. But the only real answer I can give is, everything. And if you can’t see the point then you’re not looking hard enough. Taste of Cherry is beautiful in its exploration of these topics and in its overall presentation, offering some of the best visuals in any movie I’ve seen - fitting for a feature with so much to say about the beauty of life - and an ending that as much pulls the rug out from under you as it does pull you out of the dark and make you realise just how lonely you’ve felt.

Bones (2001) - 2/10

Snoop Dogg is Jimmy Bones! This film is super funny but I’m not sure it’s trying to be and I really didn’t love it overall. But I do talk more in depth about it in episode 41 of the podcast.

The Duchess (2008) - 5/10

Another recommendation for the podcast. The Duchess was pretty much exactly what I thought it was going to be and there’s a lot to like about it but generally it’s a bit sparse. For more chat on the movie, listen to episode 41 of the podcast.

The Man With One Red Shoe (1985) - 1/10

This was another one for the podcast and man, was it awful. We had to watch it at 1.5x speed towards the end because it just wasn’t getting finished otherwise. To find out more, make sure to listen to episode 41 of the podcast.

The Emperor’s New Groove (2000) - 7/10

Pull the lever, Kronk! Haha! Slays me. I do quite miss this era of Disney, where the animation was hand-drawn and the stories were actually compelling and funny. The Emperor’s New Groove is vibrant, it’s got great characters and memorable moments that will forever be ingrained in the memory of culture. All in all, it’s just a solid flick that doesn’t waste time, developing the standard fall from glory type of arc but smoothly and in an entertaining way.

The Suicide Squad (2021) - 8/10

Oh, bloody hell! They actually made a good one! The Suicide Squad is not only better than the ‘Suicide Squad’ of 2016 in every way, it’s a genuinely great film! This time, James Gunn (director of Marvel’s Guardians of the Galaxy movies) is at the helm and it seems clear that Warner Bros. basically let him do what he wanted with the movie, as it doesn’t seem to bog itself down with the restrictions of a more family-friendly rating. The result of this is a far cleaner, colourful film with a clearer vision that takes from early Vietnam movies and uses that style to craft a superhero/villain movie that differentiates itself among the copious amount of existing films of the genre.      The Suicide Squad wastes very little time, introducing fun, crazy characters we’ve not seen on the big screen before and isn’t worried about killing a whole bunch of them, with standouts being Elba’s Bloodsport, Melchior’s Ratcatcher 2, Stallone’s King Shark (expertly rendered with fantastic visual effects), and Robbie’s returning interpretation of Harley Quinn.      A lot of Gunn’s trademark sense of humour is laced throughout and more often than not, it hits. The audience at the cinema were truly loving this movie and I’ll admit, I was right there with them. This mix of the gritty, gory and absurd is not something that should work as well as it does but the basic premise of the film is already so silly (and boy, do they know it) that it just works! Certainly one of the best DC movies since The Dark Knight and one I’d be more than happy to watch again. This is what the modern comic book movie should be: just balls to the wall fun!

[bangchanswolfpelt]

Aight I'm a good 6 years older then Yeonjun, and I don't stan any 4th gen groups, but fucking Yeonjun and Taehyun dragged me kicking and screaming into TXT when they passed their cutie concept phase and I can't get out. I couldn't find anything for Taehyun on your blog, maybe I didn't know what to search for, but how do you see him? Soft dom, hard dom? Switch? Sub? He gives me a really, really interesting vibe. Very intense, as if he's not afraid of anything when it comes down to it and would try anything, but also reserved?

ahahahaha, i feel you—i'm right around your same age i think and i was lured in by Soobin being an adorable Jin stan, only to find out that once i was in the door, Yeonjun was waiting there to ambush me with his face and his voice and his stupid sweats that say "run up" right on his dick. 💀

you were probably searching just fine, it's just that there was nothing to find! this blog's only a month old and most of the asks i've been getting are about Soobin. so nearly all of what i've been writing is about. Soobin… 😂 (this is NOT me telling anybody to stop btw, i love it, i just also think it's deeply hilarious when the point of this blog was to stop yelling at my roommate about petplay and just write about getting railed by Bang Chan in a fursuit😂😂😂) re: searching my blog, tho, the most consistent set of tags i have is [group name/abbreviation][emoji]; for txt it's txt👾. if you're in the browser, you can find them all to the right of the page under 'Trending Tags'; i also have a link in my pinned navi post, but i'll add them all as actual tags to that post too, just so they're easier to get to.

i wasn't actually planning on writing for Tae or Hyuka, even though they've hit age of majority they're still very much cutie babies to me. (watching Hyuka in Lovesong felt too much like watching a babby cousin try to relive my high school days on tiktok 🥺) i DO know that the latest teasers have been fucking people up, tho, so like. check back in a bit and i might be singing a different song. 👀 (also if anyone wants to send anything my way that might make me change my mind... 👀👀👀)

looking at your question from my currently extremely clinical, well-hydrated perspective, tho—

i think you actually have a really good read on Taehyun! especially in regards to him being kind of reserved—when it comes to romantic/sexual relationships, he’d be very cautious with his feelings up until a certain point, but if you DO manage to get that far with him, then it’s all or nothing—like, following you out of the shire all the way to mt. doom kinda all or nothing. 🥺 and he's definitely the type to only get into d/s stuff with someone he really trusts (honestly, i don't think he'd even get too far along with vanilla physical intimacy without that level of trust, unless something had him really caught up in the moment). once you’re that person, though, buckle the fuck up cause you weren’t wrong about intensity. 😅

he'd take any kind of power play really seriously, even if you’re not interested in doing anything hardcore at first. he does a lot of research and wants to have serious, sit-down talks about what you both want and need, even if he has a hard time looking you in the eye for the first few conversations. it’s actually probably very sweet, because he tries really hard to make sure that you’re comfortable, even as you can see he’s clearly struggling.

Taehyun definitely starts things out sitting across from you at a table because that’s how Serious Grown-Up Converations happen, right? reach over and hold his hand, or better yet, make him move over to the couch with you to cuddle. he’s the type to get into his own head about this kind of thing, i think, so a reminder from you that this is something you’re both in together will go a long way towards him chilling the fuck out. especially if you’re older/more experienced than him—he won’t admit it, but he’s probably looking to the way you behave for cues and feeling like he’s got to try and keep up with you.

i think his personality would have him be slightly more inclined to dom, but inexperience might make subbing a little easier on him to start with; a lot of it would also depend on his partner. so basically, he’s switchy but distinctly dom-leaning. either way, he’ll want to go hard—while for some of the boys, i feel like d/s dynamics with them are more of a natural extension of your regular relationship dynamics, Taehyun would want them to be something distinctly different from your day-to-day. this isn’t a boy who goes halfway with things; whether he’s domming or subbing, he wants it to be exciting and intense and boundary-pushing. by the time the night is over, aftercare will involve putting one of you back together again.

once he’s confident he knows what he’s doing and (most importantly) knows how to read you, he’d honestly be a dream of a dom. he’s observant and careful, learns all your little nonverbal tells, so he knows what you’re feeling maybe even before you do, and uses that to play you like an instrument.

he’d be a really great partner for experimenting with, too, i think. unless it’s something that really squicks him out, Taehyun’s willing to try pretty much anything you’re interest in at least once. going to him with new ideas might be a little intimidating, because he’s more serious and measured, and not the type to immediately jump onboard enthusiastically like some people would *cough*Yeonjun*cough*, but he’ll always hear you out and never judge or shame you for what you want. even if it’s something he’s not that into at first, he’ll read up on it and look up videos; he’s the type of person whose response to “weird” kinks isn’t ‘what the fuck?’, but ‘what’s the appeal there?’, so he ends up rationalizing himself into a lot of new kinks, including most (if not all) of yours.

the only thing i would worry about is honestly him not letting you know where his limits are—he feels like the kind of person who would have trouble safewording when you hit a point that's uncomfortable for him in a scene, just because it's not something he brought up while you were establishing boundaries and rules. he’s the type to be very concerned about safewords and hard limits and aftercare for you, but forget that those things apply to him as well. if the way you two play gets really intense, you’re probably going to hit a point where you need to talk to him about being upfront and honest about what he needs.

tagging: @jensdior

[kiingocreative]

The Structure of Story is now available! Check it out on Amazon, via the link in our bio, or at https://kiingo.co/book

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I recently discovered the work of couples therapist Esther Perel, and I’ve been fascinated by her work on erotic intelligence. In her book Mating in Captivity, she proposes that what kills desire and eroticism within a couple is proximity and familiarity. From there, she argues, it goes that instilling a dimension of distance and mystery in a relationship is the best way to reignite the flame of desire. By doing so, we learn to look at our partner in a different light, we discover new sides of them and all that unknown sparks attraction again.

This got me thinking…

I’ve been working on my second novel, The Dhawan Brothers, for a little over a year now, and it feels to me that my relationship to my manuscript has evolved over that time. From intrigue and mystique working on the initial drafts, to excitement and enthusiasm polishing and editing later versions to, slowly but surely, a sort of ‘been there, done that’ attitude that makes me prone to procrastination. I’m at a stage now where little in the story will change, or at least not dramatically. I know the characters and the plot, and I love them dearly,but they just don’t make me feel those same stomach flutters I had in the beginning.

And so I wonder…

Could our relationship with our writing be affected by proximity and familiarity the way desire is in our human relationships? Is it that, the moment we get too close, when we know everything there is to know about the other entity, it loses some of its appeal?

If that’s the case, is the key to making sure we remain excited about our writing diligentlycreating distance from it every once and a while?

To Take a Break or Not to Take a Break?

In a highly unofficial poll I ran in my Instagram storiesrecently, I asked the writing community about their experience. 94% of respondents said that, in general, they find it useful to take a break from their WIP. Whether it’s because ‘sometimes you just have to recharge’, because it’s ‘like refreshing your mind to be able to focus better’ when you get back to it, or because it ‘helps your brain work out problems behind the scenes’, writers seem to think a little distance goes a long way.

I was intrigued by the manyresponses that indicated taking some time off their WIP gives writers a chance to get back to it ‘with fresh eyes’. By stepping away from our work, we gain the perspective needed to look at it again from a different angle or through a different lens. That time and space away from our manuscript spark new ways of looking at our stories that we might have been too close to see before. We meet it again under different circumstances and in a different mindset, and it helps us rediscover it entirely. This, in turns peaksour interest and eagerness again.

Too Close for Comfort

But then… Isn’t that exactly what Perel’s theory is? That proximity and familiarity lessen desire in a relationship, whilst distance, mystery and fresh perspectives reignite it? When it comes to a writer’s relationship with their work, it feels to me like an interesting similarity.

In that same unofficial Instagram poll, when asked if there tends to be a stage at which they lose interest in their WIP or find themselves procrastinating, 75% of respondents said that’s indeed the case. The additional answers people gave as to when that happens were incredibly varied, for instance:

‘It depends if the passion for the project stays strong’

‘During the first draft’

‘In the middle’

‘In the editing process probably around the fifth or sixth draft’

‘This happens a lot because of self doubt. I struggle with it in all my life’

‘When things are not going the way I want them to’

‘There’s no particular stage, it just ebbs and flows. But I always come back to it’

‘It depends on the book’

There were as many distinctive responses as there were respondents. When I think of my own experience, I find my interest in my own work flaking right about the time the manuscript is polished. That moment where what’s mostly left to fix are stray typos and minor details, but the core of the story is there to stay. That’s the stage where there’s nothing in the writing process that’ll take me by surprise.

When I think of it, that’s exactly how I view and react to everything,in my relationships and in life in general. I like variety, and excitement, and adventure. The moment I get too familiar with anything, my attention starts to stray, until and unless I can find a way to make that situation or relationship appealing again.

Writing as a Relationship… With Ourselves?

I tend to believe that what we write says a lot about who we are as writers. I’m now also tempted to think that how we write says almost as much about us.

What if our relationship to our writing revealed what turns us on as people? And what tells us more about a person than their inner desires?

Yes, there seems to be a trend amongst the people I’ve heard from, in that most writers find distance from their work to be beneficial, and a large portion see their levels of interest in their WIP dwindle at some point or other. When and how and why, however, varies.

If there are as many ways for it to manifest as there are writers out there, I wonder if this becomes less about a relationship with our craft as it is about ourrelationship with our inner selves. A situation where observing how we treat our writing is like holding a mirror back at ourselves, reflecting our approach to any other of our relationships — and life — in general?

Know Thyself

In her book, Perel explains that exploring and understanding your own underlying desires sheds a great deal of light on how you’ll show up in your relationships, what will make you do the things you do, and what might cause you to stray. That sometimes your actions say less about the other person, or the situation, than they do about which of your buttons are getting pushed.

I think looking at how we deal with our writing follows the same logic.

So, if you’re like me, someone who craves new experiences and mystery and excitement, you may find yourself bored when things stabilise and all that’s left is maintenance and housekeeping. On the other hand, if you’re someone who thrives on stability and certainty, you may find the first draft excruciating, but the later stages more enjoyable.

And Then What?

What does that even matter, you might say? Just like any relationship, writing’s a journey and there are bound to be ups and downs we all need to navigate. Right?

Right. But I’d argue knowledge is power. Knowing how desire works, in any form of relationship — with others, with writing, with yourself — helps you understand that, not only there will be ups and downs, but also what specifically triggers your own ups and your own downs, and why. And that, in turn, can greatly help you smooth out those otherwise dizzying curves. If you know your buttons, you don’t have to let them control you. You can take charge.

The writing journey can be fraught with surprises and pitfalls, and every little helps. Understanding how your approach to your writing reflects your own inner tendencies can help you predict when an up or a down isabout to start. With some introspection, you can better prepare for these, capitalise on the highs and give yourself some kindness on — or even minimise — the lows.

If it can help make the journey that little bit easier, isn’t it worth a try?

[thoughts-on-bangtan]

Memories of 2020 - Initial asks and a small discussion

*cracks knuckles* Here we go.

If any of you have spent any amount of time today on any ARMY sns platform, I’m sure you’ve seen the mess which, as seasoned ARMY, I can tell you was the exact same mess we see...every single time. I can’t particularly say I’m surprised by any of it, especially when watching the entire process, as in the first clips hitting the TL and then the rest slowly following suit like a flood building steadily as the hours went by.

From anon: be ready for insecure vminies 😂

I’m pleased to report it wasn’t actually as bad as I expected, though now that I’m typing this I probably jinxed my own luck and the flood of asks will come soon enough, but maybe not. I’m holding on to the latter.

Based on the cycle in which these things happen every time, as in that the first clips that hit the ARMY spaces are Xkook ones, followed by vmin and other ships, and lastly more OT7 content, I expected our asks to go haywire after that clip, you know which one I mean. But we’ve only gotten two (?) about it, kind of, so I guess most people understood that it was just for laughs and nothing serious that anyone would have to get insecure over.

From anon: Sigh. This is my first memories of bts as army and i'm already tired of how all of twitter seems to be about 1 j*/k*ok moment now. There were so many j*n/kook m*ments and hugs and a sweet h*pe/k*ok backhug moment and a good number of vmin moments including slow dancing so why is the focus always on that one ship?

Here’s the thing, maybe my TLs are just well curated, I don’t know, but on mine no one really focused on that moment? Even non-shipper OT7s just briefly had a chuckle and then moved along to other things, awww’ed at vmin moments, there was lots and lots of talk about J*nk*ok being super cute and there being so much content when it comes to their interactions, there was a lot of chatter about basically every duo and OT7 moment. I know ship specific spaces went nuts, Xkookers butting heads like their lives depend on it, but outside of them?

“All of twt” is an exaggeration and I know, believe me I do, that Xkookers have the ability to make it seem like everyone just cares about their moments because they themselves (the shippers) are loud and seemingly everywhere, but when you look past them, that isn’t the case. Shippers have a tendency to generalize, especially those who follow a lot of their fellow shippers, but when you step outside of shipper spaces, things look very differently.

Like anon said, though I’d like to preface this by saying that I haven’t seen the entirety of Memories of 2020 so I can only go by what I have seen though I’d say I’ve seen nearly everything that was posted on twt or at least as much as I could find (including Xkook things), there were a lot, and I mean a lot, of amazing moments between basically all the members, regardless of who your favorite duo might be, I’m sure there was something for you there. Even those who are supposedly a rarity. And even as vminnies, this time around we had a feast with so many amazing vmin moments, some funny ones, some random ones, some super cute ones, whatever you want, there is something there for you to find. And the same can be said about so many other duos, we even got Yoongi and Hobi FaceTiming each other, and Yoongi saying they look like a couple while looking at the pictures Hobi chose for the coffee truck he sent to Yoongi’s Daechwita MV filming set.

There’s one discussion I’d like to get out of the way below the cut, but after that I will have another post very, very soon in which I want us to just have some fun and look at vmin, namjin and the other moments because there is just so much to find. And this is just day one of people having the DVDs, these discussion will continue for a while because, like I mentioned before, Memories are a treasure trove for OT7 content and fun stuff, and there’s more than eleven hours worth of it to be watched, discovered and discussed.

But, okay, let’s get into that moment since anons wanted to talk about it and know my thoughts on it, so let’s do just that. And yes, other anon from a while ago, I remember you once mentioning how I shouldn’t talk about other ships and shouldn’t “debunk” them and their moments, though I’d hardly call this debunking, but as I said many times since our first post, I’m ARMY before I am a vminnie and namjinist, and our blog is called thoughts on Bangtan and, as far as I’m aware, both JK and Jimin are part of Bangtan, so I don’t see a reason why I can’t show my perspective on it and also voice my grievances with shippers when it comes to that moment. And, before anyone comes into our asks to yell at me for being toxic/problematic or only doing this to make my ship look better or whatever, no, that isn’t the point, like at all. 

“Debunking” moments makes literally no difference whatsoever in the grand scheme of things and doesn’t affect reality, all I am doing is having a chat just like everyone else. I’m not even asking you to agree with me, you’re more than welcome not to, I can’t and won’t stop you. Also, just so you know, my initial reaction was just to laugh amused by it, no hard feelings, so I’m not the bad guy.

That being said...the Xkook moment.

Here’s the thing, when it first surfaced many hours ago, the moment itself was cut down to show just the moment of Jimin leaning close to JK and JK leaning back and turning his head away so his cheek faced Jimin...and cut, some even cutting off the video before JK turned his head. That’s it. People, as in shippers, freaked out, and everyone else had a good laugh and moved along to other things, even vminnies were joking about it and everything. I saw none of my fellow vminnies getting angry or insecure about it. Then, as time went by, someone else posted that scene but this time also showing the things leading up to it, so putting it into context instead of removing it. With the context suddenly the whole thing looked and felt completely differently since moments prior Jimin was pretending to stab JK with the pointy end of his mic and then acted as though to check if he was d*ad, as in the end of the scene. Turns out it was just for giggles and not some grand romantic moment in a room full of people and a camera close to their faces.

By that time, of course, those who cared most about that moment had long decided what meaning this holds and didn’t care once context was shown. Gifs and art had already been created, the yelling was loud, and the fights between Xkookers were reaching levels of toxicity I hadn’t seen in a while, which was disgusting and fucked up the say the least. But, the thing is, I don’t think the moment itself was the issue. In context and as rational ARMY you know it was just Jimin playing around with JK as they usually do, things we’ve also seen other members do in similar (though not quite like this) fashion, and after eight years since debut and nine of knowing each other, this isn’t shocking or new in any way. No, the issue were Xkookers and the way they treated this moment, some even going as far as taking screenshots and editing them to make it seem like they were about to kiss, as in they changed the placements of their heads to fit their narrative, as well as others making gifs where they play the moment backwards (leaving out the part where JK leans his head away and to the side) and thus they created their own version of the moment which was different from what had actually happened.

That is my biggest issue with this whole thing. The blatant manipulation of moments to create narratives that don’t match reality, twisting them and using them in stupid pointless fights. But imagine vminnies were to do any of that, all hell would break loose and we’d be attacked without mercy because how dare, and yet they don’t follow their own “logic” and “rules”. It’s more than okay to find any and all moments cute, we all do, to make jokes and whatnot, but twisting context, manipulating it and basically creating your own version of it goes too far. 

Take what we are given as what it is, instead of what you want it to be.

So, now that that’s done, please fellow vminnies and ARMYs, don’t be insecure or let people ruin your mood and fun over it. It’s not worth it. Instead let’s check out and have a talk about some of the fun vmin and OT7 moments we got, along with other ones, including my reply to another anon when it comes to namjin. Of course what I will mention in the post (HERE) is basically just the tip of the iceberg since tumblr has a limit on pictures and everything, so just know there is so much more still left to see than just that.

Before I’ll go, for those who still feel a little insecure/doubtful/whatever else, while I was working on this post and the other one, another anon sent in this well timed vmin ask:

From anon: I have to say this as a Vmin supporter. Whatever is going on with Vmin we can rest assure what they is special/untouchable. They graduated HS & college together, going for Bachelors together. Jimin-ah I like you the most. I want to live with my lovely Taehyung for the rest if my life. Their future is together, friends/soulmates or more they said it. I won’t tear down other members closeness (good for them) their bonds don’t erase Vmins. I’m just happy with the moments Vmin allow us to see.

[createandconstruct]

My fav scene in FF9, is right at the end of burmecia when Beatrix party wipes you. Up until that point you felt like a hero (through Zidane generally) who is galavanting through a fantasy world. Yeah there are dark aspects like in the village of Dali, the war, and why the black waltz exist. But they are all things you could overcome with enough grit, can do attitude, and a bit of luck. But in Burmecia things are different, the devestation already happened, the heroes weren't there. And throughout this Freya is struggling between her guilt and pain at leaving to chase after her love, only to come back to the place she once protected covered in death and destruction. Even Zidane can't pull a brave face, its bleak and clearly so.

And then we finally see Beatrix, the woman who stole Fratley from Freya, standing and taking orders from the queen and her assistany as if she was some common knave. And I think that thought is what spurred Freya on, the fact the woman who turned Freya's world grey was just a lapdog to the queen.

During the fight proper, I imagine Freya being filled with too much fury to think logically. Zidane knows Beatrix, everyone does, and he's only fighting to stop his friend from killing herself upon Beatrix's sword. And then, all of that didn't matter.

Thats the most amazing, and horrific part. None of it mattered to Kuja, Brahne, or Beatrix, just another interruption (obviously Kuja was enjoying the show, but it wasn't pivotal to him.) And we as the player feel just as helpless, as powerless, and in some cases just as weak was Freya was feeling. It is such a good and poignant way to get the players to emphasize with the characters and doesn't feel heavy handed/forced.

This is such an absolutely perfect analysis of why Burmecia is such a potent part of FFIX. The only thing I can add to this phenomenal breakdown is my own experience which I think reflects how well the game forces the player to feel the tonal shift that comes from Burmecia. And how it does so using Garnet and Zidane's argument after the Harvest Festival.

I remember playing the game for the first time and during Disc 1, when the Burmecia soldier crawls his way into the royal chambers to inform Cid and Lindblum of the attack on Burmeica, and absolutely not jiving with Zidane's perspective and attitude towards Garnet. Garnet demands to come with him and Freya to Burmecia so that she can confront her mother and hopefully stop the war that has already begun. We've been given small hints that Brahne's plans for Garnet are maybe not entirely good-natured and motherly (calling her 'wretched girl' not great mothering) but there isn't any true evidence of malice, yet. The Black Waltzes that came before also all spared Garnet of any harm and so as a player (at least for me) its possible to think that Garnet could be the one person to stop Brahne.

Also, at this point, Garnet has been an integral member of the party as a healer and she's been struggling with her own shortcomings that you want to see her overcome. Despite her work and effort, her own planning and consideration for Alexandria and her mother weren't as original as she thought. Cid was steps ahead of her, already planning to evacuate her from Alexandria (and it was not for plans of collaboration with her on how to stop war but instead to keep her safe from it). And so Garnet argues to come along so she doesn't get left behind and anyone who doesn't want to lose their healer would agree. As Brahne's daughter she could be the one person who can talk sense into the war-bound woman. The tone of the game at this point makes it seem like a possible card that could be played.

Yet for the first time Zidane says no. And as the player I found the way he spoke to her condensing and his argument lacking. And you're exactly right: with enough grit what can't the party face? They've done it thus far after all. That's what's running through the players ahead. Instead Zidane doesn't exude that confidence. He simply asks Garnet how she felt seeing the soldier die and questions her attitude in the face of war, which she has never experienced. Even freaking Steiner agrees with Zidane, after Garnet has knocked out the party, telling her its not her battle to join, and one he would never wish her to. Without Ultimania's added info to Steiner's character you could interpret it that Steiner once served as a solider for Alexandria in the previous Gaian wars however it makes sense that now (with Ultimania) he was speaking of his experience as a child orphaned by war. We later see that Garnet does take some of this heart as she doesn't venture to Burmecia but instead to Alexandira so she can directly face the source of the problem and avoid the battlefield.

During this whole scene I was on Garnet's side and I think the game intends you to be. At this point Zidane has been swinging and missing with her because of his own developing feelings and insecurities (he pulls a line on her that he used on another girl, uses a date with her as a reward for Vivi, and then seemingly looks down on her) all while Garnet has been faced with the limits of her title and her own power as person. By the start of the war, Garnet and Zidane aren't on the same page and as a player you can feel that, it just depends on who you side with. Though tonally, it feels right to side with Garnet. Her view of war (or specifically her mother) and your ability to overcome it as the player are in tune.

And so you have the original core party splitting in half. It's awesome to watch Garnet declare and fight for her own agency in this conflict, doing all she can to save her mother, kingdom, and others from this brewing war. It's refreshing to see a female character fight back when male characters stress her naivety and ignorance, and there's expectation that the characters will all reach Burmecia together and Garnet will prove Zidane and the others wrong.

But... then you reach Gizmaluke's Grotto. Bodies litter the entrance and your path. You make your way through and hit Disc 2 and after we learn that Garnet and Steiner have aimed their path towards Alexandria (unbeknownst to Zidane and co.) the fun lighthearted fantasy world ends. The battles you could take single-handedly are over. You find North Gate which Freya declares smells of blood and smoke and you walk your way to the gates of Burmecia....

...and you understand Zidane's words. When that soldier crawled his way to Lindblum, only to die at everyone's feet, war had already begun. While the party waits for the gate of Burmecia to open innocent people have already been killed and are being killed. When you visit North Gate before the Ice Cavern Alexandria has raised its war banner, and now they have attacked. There is no matter of convincing Brahne of anything, at this point, she must be stopped. Yet when you arrive at Burmecia you're already far too late. A kingdom and its people have been decimated. The corpses of citizens are strewn about in the city streets. Zidane only prays Garnet hadn't come this way.

At some point when reflecting on the game I realized the weight behind Zidane's original words I had found condescending towards Garnet. He questions her feeling of sadness towards war because he knows his own. He's afraid. At the prospect of war even Zidane is scared and by walking through the ruins of Freya's home, you know why. Watching Beatrix, Brahne, and Kuja think nothing of the loss and destruction they've caused you know why. The game shows you the true colors of war and while Garnet knows the significance she does not know (or rather cannot yet remember) the experience of it which is why she can still face her mother, the perpetrator, with hope of change and pacifism. Such a realization hit me hard. Add it to the list of why FFIX is incredible.

[blorbosexterminator]

I have been rereading some of your posts and I stumbled upon the unpopular LCDP opinions again, and here I present the thing that has been haunting my mind for a while:

I have been reading many Berlermo fics where Martín is portrayed as almost, if not completely, innocent: it’s all because Andrés left him. Martín is just a sad, small, soft cutie who needs someone to love him, and y’know, do... him, because that is also ALWAYS the case in these kind of fics.

And??? That is not the Martín I saw. Maybe it is (partly) how Martín sees himself after Andrés left, as a poor, innocent victim (because I feel like he does). He is no way a victim, nor is Sergio (completely) responsible for his problems (which is often a topic too). Andrés and Martín are idiots and they should both have gotten their heads out of their arses. They both are responsible. Martín could have said he loved Andrés years ago, no one stopped him... And I get that telling your best friend you love them is A Big Thing, but still... 10 years...

I saw no innocent victim in the show, I saw a cruel, harsh, mentally disturbed man and a terrible person. He is just as terrible, if not worse, as Andrés. I still love him, just like Andrés (and them together is even better), but I would and could never defend his actions or the stuff he says.

Adding on this, I don’t think Martín had ever been the “lover” before, I feel like he always would be the “beloved”. He had others worship him, and when he fell in love with Andrés that changed. He is mostly portrayed as always being the lover, when the topic is discussed in fics.

I even believe this more since I rewatched the scene where he tries to leave the bank: he calls Helsinki a “princess” which is first of all NOT OKAY, which was my first thought upon watching the scene. When I rewatched, I found it an interesting look into Palermo’s perspective: Martín actually sees himself as ‘the man’ (and believe me, I hate that I had to write that, I do NOT support the vision) in the relationship, and he sees Helsinki as a ‘princess’. This further confirmed for me that Martín is not some sweet smol man in need of a hug, but also really not the bottom everyone writes him as. What I saw in the show, was someone who revels in power (and not just the aesthetic, like I feel Berlin does) and being in control. And even if he would have a relationship with Andrés, I feel like Andrés would easier let go of being in control than Martín does, I feel like Andrés much less needs the control the way Martin does.

And I mean, everyone can have their own opinions and write characters the way they want, 100%, I am just surprised that I seem to be one of the few thinking like this of Martín? And I probably am one of the very few to prefer seeing Berlín letting Martín be in control in bed (although I believe they switch).

Anyways that was my ramble, I hope I was somewhat understandable and that this possesses just the slightest bit of eloquence :)

Have a nice day!!!

Hello! I know this is quite late, but I've always wanted to return to this ask, because really everything you say here is a gem and I agree with 100%.

First, yeah, that is very similar to my experience in reading fics as well. Actually, interestingly enough, I read quite a lot of fics early on without having watched the show, only having watched the kiss scene and few other detached flashbacks. It was only when I watched it that I realized how different the way Martín presented himself to me in the show from the dominant view of him.

It really depends. I do agree that Martín victimized himself to a large extent in his relationship with Andrés, but I don't think he saw himself as that much of an innocent; someone who would have never even joined the life of crime if it weren't for Andrés or so.

But yes, Martín is definitely not a victim and I don't think Sergio is responsible for his problems at all to be honest. Andrés did what he thought was the best course of action and that is that. Sergio isn't responsible for a grown man leaving another grown man. Like other than the factor regarding whether he should have told Andrés or not, he chose him, he chose to remain with him one marriage after the other. I do understand, to an extent, why both Martín and Andrés did what they did, but at the end of the day, would it have gone better if Martín had told him years ago? Who knows. Martín probably thought no and remained with him anyway, he's in no way a victim in this, like forgive me, but Andrés doesn't owe Martín anything. Even if we take Martín's words and say he reveled in being adored and worshipped, then it was still Martín who allowed it, it was still Martín who gave him this and asked for nothing in return and never left.

But going back to your words, yes, that is exactly what I saw when I watched the show too. Martín is cruel, ruthless, selfish and guess what? He was still all of those things before Andrés left him and died. It's just he wasn't those things with Andrés, the same way Andrés wasn't his worst parts of himself with him and Sergio. It doesn't mean they "changed" really, it just means they put each other above everything else and in a whole different category than all other people.

Oh yeah, this is one of the things that I headcanon to. Obviously, we don't have any history of Martín other than the parts with Andrés, but if we take his treatment of Helsinki then yeah, I'm willing to bet the same. I think him being the lover with Andrés was definitely the exception not the rule. Def agree with all you said about his relationship with Helsinki, Martín obviously doesn't see himself this way, and like aside from the princess scene, every time we saw them interact (when he flirted with him in front of everyone, when he kicked him out if his bedroom, etc) it seems very well that Martín is the one who is in control there, and is the one dictating exactly what the relationship is and isn't with sharp, even cruel, confidence.

Now the part about control, I agree with you 1000%, like the funny thing is it's not just the way Martín presents himself, it's the way the team sees him. Not only that, it's the main reason Sergio fears and is very wary of working with Martín, and I think that does come from experience, especially if we assume Sergio knew Martín for those ten years as well. I perfectly believe Sergio knows Martín well enough for those words to come from some actual place and not just his headcanons about Martín or something. Like it's very interesting to me as well, that Andrés couldn't even refute. Hell, not even Martín was able to say 'ah, I'm not really like that.' Even more interesting, actually, is the person Andrés likened Martín to after saying 'yes, yes he is obsessed with power and control' is Sergio! Sure, in that moment he was comparing their genius, but I do find it intriguing that he does put them on the same scale considering how a complete fucking freak Sergio is when it comes to being in control of everything. Andrés is outside this category. He enjoys the aesthetics of power, but he's much, much more at ease with letting go of control than either Martín or Sergio are. Martín doesn't just want the look of power, he wants complete power, period! And I do think he revels in it big deal. Lmfao, the show built the entire premise of a whole ass season on that one trait. It's not exactly something you'd need to argue for.

And oh yeah, I agree to an extent. I think when it comes to their specific relationship, things aren't really easily put in categories of who would most likely want more control, cause you know, they are very abnormal people ESPECIALLY with each other. At the end, I sincerely believe both of them regard the other as 100% an equal and wouldn't even want in any way to "control" the other or have more of that control in the relationship, but yeah, I definitely don't agree of the view of Andrés needing this control 24/7 and Martín being his subordinate just letting Andrés control him or whatever lmfao.

Of course, people can have their own interpretations and write what they want! But yeah, I did share that same suprise with you after I watched the show for the first time, mostly because I didn't know where exactly it sprung from? I do have some ideas for that now, but irrelevant really. Oh yeah, bottom!Andrés (or sub!Andrés) isn't very common, if I can tell from the amount of fics that has top!Andrés vs the amount with top!Martín or vers!berlermo. Generally, I do think they switch and all.

You were very understandable and eloquent, have no worries! Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me, I loved reading them!

Have a great day too!