#the only scene I care about
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Mera bachcha? Nahin.
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Kiss Kiss Fallen Tree!
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#Sorry to everyone who was looking forwards to this comic only to find out I put WWX in the ugliest outfit.#Continuity came first. Plus let's be honest; he did *not* show up in anything fancy. Or in all black as seen in most fanart.#We are at the middle of WWX depression arc. His self-care was 100% because Jin Yanli would be sad if he didn't try to look nice.#Okay okay. Fine I've delayed talking about the kiss long enough.#It is absolutely a core LWJ scene over a WWX scene. Which is made even more fascinating because we don't get his POV.#But we get so many insights! His loss of control and his firmness all contrasted against how he trembles.#And all of that wrapped up in a wonderful self-loathing bow! You go Lan Zhan! You hated yourself so much for this!#WWX is a hilarious narrator for this because he is truly just...baffled by what's going on.#He would push the person away but he doesn't want to hurt their feelings or pride (putting other people first again are we?)#I do understand why this one is divisive for people though. I choose to look at it through a character/humourous lens.#I've seen people defend and admonish this scene as a particularly shitty thing LWJ did and let's be very clear here: It was.#That's why I like it. LWJ did a shitty thing and struggles with it. It's part of what makes him so robust as a character.#It's also fine if you enjoy this scene for it's eroticism. You're not a bad person for that. You are just A Person.#People will have their own experiences with this topic. Be kind to each other alright?
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The tac net crash chapter is one of my favorites so far~
Ah and. Guess what. I just discovered that including this post, I made 50 pieces of fanart for Mistakes on mistakes until.. I’m so sane and normal about this story can you tell👍
#maccadam#transformers#fic fanart#momu fanart#jazz#prowl#jazzprowl#considering the speed and the amount of fanart#….yeah I can see why tumblr thought I was a bot lmao#also#I mostly read during night and then drawing from memory during day so uhhhhh the accuracy is questionable haha#mainly I feel like half of the time I don’t know how tf Jazz looks. The guy switching between his looks so often jdjfjfj#IM. SO GLAD THEY RESOLVED THEIR DRAMA EHEHBJGJ#The scene in medbay was so damn cute#oh my goddddd#the scene of the tac net crash#muah#loved it~#you know the thing is - I'm a biiiig fan of mutual feelings and actions#the scene of the kiss was absolutely great but it was a bit one sided#Jazz cared about Prowl but Prowl was far more concerned about information safety and strategy and stuff#but this?? mmmm~ Them caring for each other#Prowl using his last moments of consciousness to ask Jazz if he is mad at him#Prowl actually deeply caring of what Jazz thinks about him now when he knows Prowl killed his friends#i don't know how to explain#kisses are great but this (points) this is my favorite five star meal right here#also there is something so funny about Prowl slowly discovering fow fucked up Jazz is and just accepting it#but being so scared when Jazz discover how fucked up he is. Only for Jazz to be like “boo I knew about your fuckedupness from the start”
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HIS ! LOVE ! LANGUAGE ! IS ! PHYSICAL ! TOUCH !
which is even more depressing when u remember he was thrust into the bottom of a cave completely alone with no one to hold but himself for weeks 🫠
plus FOREHEAD TOUCH !!!!
and bonus lol:
dead!jayce responds to viktors touch
also this bc its funny
#the Bisexual to ever exist🧍🏻♀️#id wanna lay my head in mels lap too tho tbh#i literally went through the entire show whenever he interacted w someone to find these btw HAHA#i have a few more but tumblr has a 30 picture limit HAHA#did not expect jayce to become my favorite character lmfao#i only half cared about him in s1 but now i am STARING at him in every single scene he is in the 180 is insane#jayce talis#viktor#mel medarda#viktor arcane#jaymel#meljay#jayvik#arcane#arcane spoilers#jaymelvik#arcane meta#karcane
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I like to think Dick would react like a crazy big brother when he found out about Jason and Roy getting together.
Like he'd feel so betrayed, how could his best friend and his baby bro start dating and not even tell him for months? And oh god now he'd have to see them kiss? He could never get that image out of his head. He'd have to get used to seeing Roy at the family dinners and sure Jason looked happy but couldn't it be with literally anyone else? Didn't Roy know better than to go after his little baby brother? I mean seriously he's just a baby he is not ready to be a dad. How could he take care of Lian if he can't even take care of himself and-
And that's when it hits him, that technically Jason's her dad now, given the seriousness of the relationship and the fact that he did overhear the girl calling Jason Jaydad, so Dick is oficially her favourite uncle.
He is suddently very ok with their relationship.
#dick grayson#jason todd#roy harper#jayroy#lian harper#nightwing#red hood#red arrow#batfam#batfamily#i was reading wayne family adventures and thought of this#i love them#dick would definitely go into big brother mode#either this or that one scene from friends ross finds out about chandler and monica#but i like the idea dick just cares about being lian's favorite#also dick is actually just jealous cause he thought he'd be the only one dating his red headed best friend#yes i'm talking about wally#you should always assume birdflash is canon in what i write
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hugs hugs hugs (ID in alt)
#nicholas d wolfwood#vash the stampede#meryl stryfe#milly thompson#trigun#trigun maximum#and i guess#trigun maximum spoilers#i feel like i could talk forever about wolfwood’s unexpected important presence of care for the 3 of them but im also so Limited bc#half of it would be sources:just trust me#especially when it comes to meryl and wolfwood FMSMD HALF OF THEIR MAX DYNAMIC IN MY HEAD are completely pulled from those 4 panels of them#talking - its like the only scene they have together AUGHHG😭😭 But it’s fine. i love making shit up. i also think they have a good deal in#common aside from being vash’s friends (understatement) and their presence in milly's life ueeee.... and when milly BAWLED#hearing that news *explodes explodes explodes*.... anyway... this set is about wolfwood but it doesn't have to be ofc... theyre just huggin#and the 3 of them will have many more brighter hugs to share in the future#ruporas art
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Honest to god Titans Tower is probably the funniest thing that's ever happened in comics to me? Like, there's so much to unpack here it's insane?? The tear-away stripper Red Hood costume? The knock-off Robin costume with the stupid ass yellow tights that somehow looks worse than if Jason just rocked the bare thighs? The way Jason is drawn like he is fully 35 with two stepkids and a mortgage? Jason inventing fanfiction about Tim and Bruce's relationship in his head because he refuses to believe Tim actually stalked his way into being Robin?? Trying to mimic his crowbar death by beating Tim with his own staff but I as a reader am entirely unable to take it seriously because of those stupid fucking tights-
And then you get to Tim's side of things and he says like, all of 5 things the entire time and three of them are a coded 'fuck you'. He has absolutely no time or respect for Jason's pity party and it's actually hysterical because Jason cannot stop yapping. Meanwhile, Tim is like, definitely losing the fight which makes it funnier?? Then the ending?? Jason scrawling "Jason Todd was here" on the wall in blood (or red paint meant to look like blood, up in the air) and signing it with a handprint like he's a middle schooler who just discovered Creepypasta???? Ripping the 'R' off Tim's costume when he's literally already unconscious?? Zipping away from the scene thinking "damn I actually like that kid, wish I had friends tbh"??
And then it's literally never brought up again.
#He's running away from the crime scene and I'm just in the back shouting at Jason Peter Todd to explain himself#Bestie not one of those choices made sense are we hitting the sauce too hard?#This is the only thing Jason does in the UTRH era that actually reeks of 19 year old to me#Also the whole scene has the vibes of that one post#guy in a fist fight very clearly winning but he's sobbing and wailing the whole time#guy visibly getting his ass wrecked in a fist fight but hes talking shit about the other guy like hes winning#That post? Yeah#tim drake#jason todd#red hood#red robin#titans tower#Oh look more Tim and Jason content#I promise I care more about just them but they're so fucking funny I can't help it#This is what happens when you're the middle children DC can't give a fuck about#You get put in a blender and the dumbest shit ever comes out#batfam#batfamily
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“I think I just—Missed it.”
“This. The bases, the blues, everyone together.”
“You, Simmons.”
Please read Red Letter Days it's had me in an emotional chokehold for months
#rvb#tony's art tag#red vs blue#dick simmons#franklin delano donut#rvb art#rvb simmons#rvb donut#yes i know they're not wearing their helmets in this scene i do not care#thank you to my wife for the fic but also waaahhhh wahhahah#i just have a lot of emotions about simmons and donut and how they're like the only two members of red team left but like not really#it's been a long time since i've painted anything like this#i just think simmons and donut should hold hands now okay
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MXTXtober DAY 15 | LANTERN with Jiang Yanli ✨���
I love this scene. That's it.
#mdzs#i have stopped caring#so much to draw and so little time#i cant do this#send help#in other subjects#i love this scene with jiang yanli#she is a character i like that is only in the side lines but its kind of important to the story#i feel like we dont talk about her as much as we should#yunmeng jiang#jiang yanli#mo dao zu shi#the untamed#cql#the grandmaster of demonic cultivation#mxtxtober2024#mxtxtober#mxtxtober24
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"why eridan da bus driver all of da sudden" has had such an impact on me. every time time this trope happens in a fic it pops into my head. why is sollux the EMT in this dirk whump hospital AU
#i need to state for the record that i don't care about mediocre dirk hospital whump i just think that this phenomenon is funny#you can have a random nameless character. especially if they only show up for one scene. it's okay ❤️
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Hi @spadillelicious , yesterday I read your fic and I'm normal about it. Take a messy fanart.
#love death and rollerskates#I'm lying#I'm NOT NORMAL AT ALL#it was like watching a tv series#also i love the idea of putting songs in the narrative#and WOAH the whiplash I got in this scene#now everything sun's do makes him look sus#moon on the other hand was sus but now he's not#but I'm scared his memory loss is going to make him crazy obsessed with y/n#what if we become the only thing he remembers and cares about#I hope not :'||#rambling#bilolli's art#can't wait for the next chapters hfjtgjhhfb
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Now I need a lab safety wizard! U
se your PPE, do not microwave food or eat food. Specially in the Ethidium bromide area. Stop touching things with gloves that touched contaminated areas pLEAse!
You can see I'm frustrated lol
I have sent a helpful Lab Safety Gnome your way. May he guide you, and any students in your proximity to respect the Lab Safety Rules.
#wizard#lab safety#ask#This ask/concept sent me blasting back to the past where I (many years ago) wrote a series of short stories-#-about a chemistry teacher who was constantly at odds with his students regarding lab safety.#The concept being that said chemistry class was a notoriously grade booster due to the teacher giving out test answers.#So you have a group of lassiez-faire students ready to kick back- when 3 weeks into the term the 'easy teacher' keels over dead.#And is replaced by a newer teacher who genuinely cares about the subject and wants the students to learn.#Rest in peace Mr.Ratman. You were probably the best anti-villian I've ever written.#Yes. The Anti-villain; because he's only ever portrayed secondhand by said students.#The whole point was about how much they really hated this guy and their attempts to ruin his life.#So it was up to you (the reader) to untangle what was the truth and what was just a rumour.#It was a commentary (and honestly a personal vent) about the frustrations and anxiety of high academic expectations#And the dehumanization of teachers struggling to motivate a students who push the blame of their failures outwards.#The original is lost to time (and a broken USB). All I have is a spotty memory of some scenes.#I remember it being really damn bleak. If I ever revisited it I think I would give it a more hopeful tone.#May Mr.Ratman be immortalized as the Lab Safety Wizard/Gnome forever more.#If you read all that; thanks for coming down memory lane with me. Don't eat in the Lab. Wear your PPE. Know how to access safety equipment.
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Chen Yi + gentle hands in Ai Di's hair KISEKI: DEAR TO ME (2023)
#kiseki: dear to me#kisekiedit#kdtm#kiseki dear to me#ai di x chen yi#chen yi x ai di#nat chen#chen bowen#louis chiang#chiang tien#jiang dian#userspring#uservid#userrain#userspicy#userjjessi#pdribs#*cajedit#*gif#NOT TO BE GAY BUT#watch me gif the same scenes over and over and over in wildly different contexts every time and not get sick of it or them#and JESUS CHRIST this is some gay shit. ai di does this too but not as Much#and some of these just make me wanna scream and lay down on the floor While Screaming#they are so tender and it makes me a little (a lot) insane about how gentle chen yi is with ai di#how chen yi is the only gentle thing in ai di's whole fucking life and how he takes SO MUCH PRIDE in being CAREFUL with ai di#yet never treats him like hes broken or like theres something wrong with him he simply Adores him and shows that#through these adoring and indulgent touches. hes just so Content to be the safe home ai di returns to#because he LOVES HIM SO MUCH AND WANTS AI DI TO FEEL AND KNOW HE'S SAFE AND LOVED!!!!!#okay anyway yeah i dont have much to actually add here i just havent giffed in a while and when i got this idea i got possessed#slightly inspired by the last kiseki set i made from the bts bc god. god.
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time for my big lumax rantpost. I used to be way more of a shipper but upon reexamining some of my GA-era assumptions, I'm here to tell you why it sucks, and why I don't look forward to lumax endgame if it's the same lumax we've been getting.
lumax has fantastic potential, but needs lots of work to actually become the ship most of the fandom thinks it is.
I get the sense most on here consider lumax ST's darling perfect ship which is sullied by weak and/or racist writing. while I wouldn't argue at all that the writing does right by Lucas, I do think it's important to recognize lumax as an intentionally-written badly flawed relationship, NOT a poorly-written perfect relationship. (the writing for 5 has a lot to prove so we'll see)
lumax is obviously happening. no ending to Lucas's story makes sense other than him getting the girl. however, I don't like that from either character's standpoint.
from hers - Max is not a prize. and from his - Max is no prize.
Max is a pretty shitty girlfriend.
we've never seen her show Lucas any interest in learning anything about him. I can't remember a time she's complimented him, said anything nice about him, or done anything purely for his benefit. virtually all of their serious conversations have been about her, and the scant few that are sort of about him are inevitably just a lead-in to him offering support to her.
Lucas and Max's relationship - pre, during, and post dating - is 100% about what he can do for her. he's the one making 100% of the effort.
it seems like most of their interactions are him walking on eggshells trying to placate, reassure, or convince her, all for the reward of.... what. being allowed to continue existing near her? like yeah, she's a cool girl, but. that can't be it.
what good is getting the girl if the girl doesn't really offer anything?
. . .
through the seasons, semiquickly:
season 2
Lucas and Dustin both like Max, so they invite her trick or treating, offering to protect her from bullies and show her where the good candy is. in other words, the first Max / Lucas interaction is him offering something to benefit her. Max returns no appreciation or even response to the invite, yet still shows up to reap the benefits.
that pretty much sets the tone.
Max wants to be included, but that's a sensitive subject, so she puts on aloof airs to protect herself. it's an act, but nonetheless it's all Lucas receives.
the facade slips on multiple occasions though; Lucas is permitted to see her vulnerability, and we can see she's actually more desperate to make the connection than he is.
Dustin seeks Steve's manipulation tactics to use on Max, but Lucas wins her over by treating her like an equal and offering her genuine friendship.
he risks both his place in the party and his safety/life to include her, gives his undivided attention when she talks to him, asks questions that show his interest and concern, he reassures, uplifts and compliments her, and physically protects her.
in return, Max. uhh. well she does apologize for being a jerk, although she doesn't exactly stop, lmao. this is one of only two moments I can think of when Max reveals any regard for what Lucas thinks of her.
lumax is off-balance before it even starts, although s2 is when I think that dynamic is most permissible. since Max is a newcomer, Lucas has the advantage in many respects, and it makes sense for him to be the one extending a hand to her.
when Billy attacks Lucas for hanging out with Max, he could be gravely hurt if not for Steve taking the beating instead. Max joins in the momentary group hug but never says a word about this. (I suspect the writers mean for Max's bus apology to have proactively served as a veiled "sorry my stepbro is racist" but more felt needed in that moment.)
then they go to the dance and she kisses him and it's cute and everything is happy for ten whole seconds.
between 2 and 3
even though the summer of '85 is "the good days," this relationship is already careening downhill.
we learn that Max has dumped Lucas five times - such a regular occurrence that he takes it in stride and is well practiced at winning her back as a result.
unfortunately it's Lucas taking to heart the "happy wife happy life" policy from his dad that's set up lumax as something that seems to serve only Max. her awareness of the policy means she holds all the cards.
season 3
Max has secured her place in the party and the relationship, and now it's time for her to bring something to the table, but I honestly can't name one thing. it's still Lucas bending over backwards and Max sometimes being a bit of a jerk. (another act. we'll come back to this)
from the start of 3 we see an excessively secure Max and an obsequious Lucas. she doesn't show him any of the vulnerability that made her endearing in 2. they share fun moments, but we can infer that she doesn't treat him very well in ways that matter.
at one point she even plays mad just to watch him panic. you get the feeling this boy can never feel secure in his relationship. yeah she's just teasing, but do you think Lucas is allowed to tease too?
when El comes to Max for advice, she tells her that "boyfriends lie all the time" and this is before we see Lucas lie to her.
when Mike comes to Lucas for advice, he confidently schools him on how to get back in El's good graces by buying her a present - making clear he's been following his dad's advice all summer long and it's been working:
L: Dad? When Mom's mad at you, how do you make her not mad? C: First, I apologize. Then, I get your mother whatever she wants. L: Even when she's wrong? C: She's never wrong, son.
the mall confrontation is the first time we see Lucas really lie to Max, but even then, the girls don't actually have proof Nana isn't sick.
it's telling, actually, that Lucas's loyalty goes to Mike instead of Max in this moment. in s2 it was the other way around (Lucas pissed off the whole party by including her in the group and telling her the truth - a technically banishable offense). but now he's back to his s1 bros before hoes policy, and not only backs up but expands on Mike's lie. after dating almost a year, his loyalty to Max should be even stronger, but here we see the opposite. if Max had been at least as good a friend to him as Mike, I'm inclined to think he would at least have tried to be noncommittal here.
Max is so confident Lucas will have nothing on his mind but winning her back, as always - meanwhile who we actually see Lucas apologizing to is Will.
she may have had Lucas wrapped around her little finger all summer, but we're seeing that start to uncoil. if Lucas apologizes, it's offscreen.
when Billy tries to break out of the sauna to kill Max, Lucas slingshots him and body shields Max during the fight. next thing you know, Max is back to being cliquey with El in the bathroom (making fun of Mike even though he was the only one who did anything to save El's life?? girl you're being shitty to boyfriends that aren't even yours)
they seem to be a couple again by the end of 3, but the relationship is weakened...
between 3 and 4
..which sets the scene for how the two apparently drift when Max ends it once again. she's not playing this time - she uses the term "break up" instead of "dump" and Lucas has accepted that it's over.
depression makes it hard for Max to connect with him, but the way she treated him in 3 has likely also eaten away at his insistence on prioritizing her. if you push someone away over and over you can't be too surprised if they stay further away each time.
so Max withdraws socially and Lucas apparently doesn't go to his usual lengths to pursue her.
he's still making effort though! the "stalking" comment makes it clear he's been trying to approach her. we know he's been inviting her to his basketball games. him already knowing her favorite song as of 4x4 is more evidence of him taking an interest in her between seasons.
he clearly still cares a lot about Max, but good for him for pursuing his own hobbies and friendships as well.
season 4
Lucas finally asks Max to do something to support him for once (come to his game), but she shuts it down hard.
we know Max still cares about him, but that's just it - WE know. he doesn't. to his face, it's bristling rejection even while he literally begs for the chance to support her.
saving Max's life is a group effort, but Lucas knowing her favorite song is the key that saves her life, and it's only after that that she's friendly towards him again.
the only time I can recall Max expressing any concern for Lucas's wellbeing is when she asks if he's okay in 4x6 - and he only gets a few sentences to process Patrick's death before it's time for him to turn it into an apology to her. sigh.
Lucas is the only one of Max's friends to voice any objection to her suicide mission of a Vecna plan, and pitches for them to gamble a stranger's life instead. he once again risks his life to hang out in the Creel house with Max, personally taking on the huge responsibility of making sure she doesn't die.
Vol 2 Max finally shows Lucas some long-awaited appreciation ("you might have been there" and "I'm glad you're here") which is very nice to see.
I'm conflicted about the movie invite scene, but we'll talk about that later. textually: he asks her out, she accepts, it's totes adorbs.
unfortunately, Max being tranced out by the time Jason walks in means it's time for Lucas once again to get attacked by an older, stronger guy who's wrongly convinced he's a danger to her. (again not her fault, but kinda because of her)
everything goes sideways, Max gets Vecna'd, and Lucas holds her while she dies. we end on a bruised Lucas sitting loyally at Max's bedside, reading to her just in case she can hear it inside her coma.
Lucas hasn't been perfect but he has spent yet another season physically protecting and emotionally supporting Max at great personal expense, and with little appreciation and no support in return.
. . .
the movie doodle didn't fix lumax
Max has had an epiphany, but a change of behavior has scarcely begun. being nice isn't the same as making amends. they've resolved zero of the old issues, plus 4 (even if the plan had worked) has heaped a ton of new shit on both of them.
she's still a grieving, neglected, depressed and passively suicidal child of a triply-broken home. dating doesn't fix that. they already broke up once under the same conditions.
plus Max has new catastrophic emotional traumas, some of which which explicitly exacerbate those very issues. she has catastrophic injuries and disability to cope with (and this is a girl who withdraws under stress normally). with a shred of realism, she's waking up in less a mood for dating than ever.
Lucas has also taken on new traumas, between the basketball team stuff, getting beaten up and almost shot/strangled, and watching Max get Vecna'd and die. he already has a history of guilt about not being there for her enough, so he's going to have a lot more about failing her in that moment (definitely not his fault but he'll still feel bad) and will likely be even more focused on her.
to me, this all sounds like a recipe for the same old dynamic except worse than ever. if they get sleeping beauty'd directly back into lumax, it'll be a disservice to both characters.
. . .
now let's talk about why Max treats Lucas the way she does 🔬
she's not a conniving bitch, she's just a scared kid from a toxic home. that doesn't excuse her behavior but it does make it understandable.
Max CAN be a great friend. she's just not to Lucas.
Max absolutely showers El with the good qualities she'll barely show Lucas. in fact I could loosely say Max is to El what Lucas is to Max.
Max is suspicious and disparaging towards Lucas, even while trusting that he can be counted upon to grovel. meanwhile El never apologizes for intentionally hurting Max both physically and emotionally, yet the moment El acknowledges her (only because she wants help), Max is instantly forgiving, kind, gentle, caring, generous and supportive towards her.
she throws her loyalty behind a friend of 1 afternoon over her boyfriend of a year who's been the only person in Hawkins to show her any true kindness and emotional connection.
if Max was half the friend to Lucas that she is to El, she'd be a decent girlfriend. why isn't she?
we can name a few reasons why Max IS so nice to El, but why she ISN'T to Lucas is a separate question. kindness isn't zero-sum.
she told us why. boyfriends lie.
and it's ANY boyfriend, not just hers. Nana's sick? more like Mike's a lying piece of shit! Suzie from camp? fake! Dustin's obviously lying! the only one of the boys Max has never accused of lying is Will - the only one who's been single the whole time.
just. the state of being a boyfriend (or even just liking a girl is close enough), makes any boy automatically a liar.
Max believes "friend" and "boyfriend" are mutually exclusive
"Friends don't lie!" "Yeah, well, boyfriends lie all the time." <- it's all right there.
back in 2 when Lucas was her friend, she was more open and trusting. she gave him the benefit of the doubt that monsters were real and he knew a girl with magic powers. starting to date flipped the switch, and now she doesn't trust him about mundane stuff.
now they're not friends, they're boyfriend/girlfriend, and she expects to be treated in a whole different way, including all the baggage that comes with romantic relationships in her mind.
what baggage?
Max's childhood is full of examples of awful, manipulative men and abusive, broken relationships.
her dad: I'd only be speculating about why her parents' marriage failed, but in 2 Max misses California because her dad is still there, then by 4 acts like it's doubtful he can even be tracked down for delivery of what's basically her suicide letter. it's clear she desired a relationship with her dad but was abandoned. Neil: abusive asshole who rules the household with an iron fist. I'd be shocked if he hasn't abused Susan, and see little reason he wouldn't do it in front of Max (after all, we see him verbally and physically abuse his first wife in front of his son, in a bad fight over suspected lies/infidelity). in his grief over Billy, Neil and Susan have "bad fights" and he leaves the family. he's not missed, but it's still a second abandonment by a father figure. Billy: Max's peer example of guys in relationships: a sleazy, two-faced asshole who treats girls like trash and completely changes his persona to manipulate them for sex or whatever else he wants (Max appears to be all too aware of his sex life and is disgusted). abandonment issues with him too: a good relationship with a big brother would've meant the world to her, but he rejected and probably abused her for years; her letter at his grave reads "ever since you left" - same word she used for Neil.
Max desperately hopes Lucas is an exception to the rule, but these are the behaviors she would naturally fear from any guy she dates.
Max is especially terrified of being abandoned (and that she deserves it)
to be abandoned over and over can naturally leave a kid wondering if it's their fault, if this is the treatment they deserve.
Lucas is overall quite honest, and there's not an abusive bone in his body. the most realistic one of Max's fears to apply to him is that someday he'll leave her, too.
and that's the worst fear Vecna chooses to voice in Lucas's form: realizing he's been wrong about her, that she's fundamentally bad and he's glad she's going to be killed. a gutting abandonment from the guy she most wants to trust.
Vecna-Susan also tells Max that she deserves what's going to happen to her, that she's "broken everything" and that her letters can't make things right. because he's in full Vecna mode when he says it, I just took those as very general condemnations at first. but they hurt even worse when I remember they're still coming from "Susan" - revealing that Max feels she has broken her family.
she wanted Billy to die, and she figures Neil left because Billy died, so that's two of the abandonments being "her fault". if that's true, Max would also feel responsible for destroying her mom's life - having cost her her marriage, home, and financial security.
in her addictions Susans has, in an emotional sense, abandoned Max just like all her other family members - and Max fears she deserves it. how desperate she was for this hug... :(
anyway, back to lumax: let's reexamine those s3 dumpings
what exactly did Lucas even do? we never find out.
on first watch, I took "boyfriends lie" at face value and assumed Lucas got caught fibbing. but that doesn't fit so well.
he's maybe the party member most invested in "friends don't lie". honesty to his friends is a pillar of his character. again, he caused friction in 2 because he so strongly prioritized honesty to Max. to assume based on one line from an unreliable narrator that he randomly became a huge liar over the summer is unfair.
via their counseling of Mike and El, Lucas and Max tell us what's been going on with lumax
Max tells El:
He'll come crawling back to you in no time, begging for forgiveness. I guarantee him and Lucas are totally wallowing in self-pity and misery right now like "ohh, I hope they take us back!"
I think we all clocked that one: Max thinks that because El followed her technique, Mike will come crawling back - because Lucas has come crawling back to her several times now.
but I haven't seen much discussion about how the spying scene (which "he'll come crawling back" is paired with) shows Lucas assuring Mike that he's been dumped for an unfair and illogical reason because that's what Max has done to him several times now.
M: I just don't understand what I did to deserve this. L: Nothing. Nothing. That's my whole point. You are the victim here. Stop asking rational questions. M: I know, I know, you're right. Because women act on emotion and not logic. L: Precisely. It's a totally different species.
Max is pissed. but has she been irrational, acting on emotion and not logic, and dumping him for no apparent reason all summer? signs point to yes.
and I understand Lucas saying this. it's not pure misogyny out of nowhere; he's been told that his mother expects gifts and apologies even when wrong, Max acts that way too, and now so apparently does El. all of his examples concur that this is just how women in relationships are. (Charles Sinclair how many relationships will your advice destroy lmao)
both Max and Lucas are bringing preconceptions from home.
Max acts this way on purpose
I don't think she's dumped him over truly nothing (although that's how it looks to him). I'm thinking she blows real, minor missteps out of proportion.
any time Lucas does something slightly insensitive, it looks like the first red flag to her, and instead of communicating in a constructive way, she just throws up this "boys aint shit" force field and dumps him. of course she doesn't truly want to be rid of him, she's just sorta snapping the leash.
I think Max knows what she's doing. I think she wants to keep Lucas always on his back foot, because the relationship isn't as scary if she feels like she holds all the power.
she's always trying to cover up fear/sorrow with anger, because anger gives an illusion of control. and she's been conscious of that anger, and the fact that it's unfair to Lucas, since the beginning - that's what she apologized for on the bus. "I guess I'm angry too, and I'm sorry."
she was mature enough at 13 to see the error in her behavior, but still not mature enough by 15 to fix it. every season has just been a slightly different flavor of "leave before you get left".
so, that's my take on Max's relationship behavior. but again, explanations aren't excuses. Lucas deserves to be treated well, and that's not happening.
what needs to happen?
simply maturing more will help them both a lot. being 15 is a terrible condition in of itself.
I don't see Lucas dumping Max's ass, but she should take her own advice before the relationship continues: explain herself and fix the garbage parts of her behavior.
before Max can be the girlfriend Lucas deserves, she needs a substantial period of physical and emotional healing.
she needs renewed connections with her friends and family, and a lot of general growth in the area of communication and processing her feelings.
in regards to Lucas, she needs to work on her trust issues, and learn to extend him the treatment warranted by his behavior, not the behavior she fears from others. she needs to learn that "friend" and "girlfriend" aren't mutually exclusive, that real friendship is the key to their relationship, and is a two-way street.
any Billy racism/assault acknowledgement would be better years late than never, especially if grieving Billy continues to be a focus in front of Lucas.
Lucas could also use a little work
the relentless positivity doesn't serve Max well. often it turns out to be empty reassurances which make her feel let down (so, a soft version of the lies she fears). she let him know in 4x4 that this hurts her, but he kept doing it for the rest of the season.
but the big one is that "happy wife happy life" doesn't serve him well, and rewarding unfair treatment perpetuates the problem. yes, the ability to compromise, swallow pride, and be the bigger person are healthy parts of a relationship, as well as the willingness to extend grace to your partner/friend when they're struggling. but it always being on one designated person is a recipe for dissatisfaction and resentment.
Lucas should voice to Max that he, too, has struggles and needs support. I'd like to see him pursue outside interests unapologetically.
no, this isn't an exhaustive list, and I don't expect to see everything fixed at once, or explicitly processed onscreen. but I sure hope we get some evidence of change, and that this has all been part of an arc.
for instance, I'd love for the final lumax reconciliation to be Max asking Lucas to take her back.
I kind of hope not to see them officially together until the very end. in fact I'd so much rather see ST end on a good Max / Lucas friendship with an implied romantic future than jump back to the status quo.
l don't want to see lumax until it's a new lumax, based on real, reciprocal friendship.
#even with the length I rambled this is still oversimplified and left out stuff re: both. but. just to get the conversation started.#you don't want elm*x because lucas. I don't want lumax because lucas. we are not the same#I think people fawn over lumax because they're kind of a milkvan foil and therefore must be perfect?#lowkey seeing lucas date someone else for a bit would straighten 4 max out. girlie careful acting like you're the only fish in the sea <3#the more I think about it the more I'd like lumax to completely break up and live in different towns and then try again as adults#if the max waking up scene has a kiss in it I'm turning off the tv#lucas sinclair#max mayfield#lumax#givehimthemedicine analysis
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At the start of each Animorphs book, before the first chapter begins, there is a page. On it is a simple acknowledgement. Two names. The first name is Michael - Katherine Applegate's husband and co-writer on the series. The second name is that of a boy. This name belongs to their son. Or, should I say, belonged to their son. Because they don't have a son anymore. They have a daughter. Every time I pick up an Animorphs book, I can't help but linger on this page as I quite literally hold her deadname in my hands. It's a peculiarly beautiful feeling. Peculiar because the context behind that name makes it seem all the more personal. I feel like I've violated her privacy simply by knowing it, even though it's openly out there for anyone to read. But beautiful because dammit, doesn't this represent this series's relationship with the queer community so well? Animorphs is often regarded as a queer (and especially trans) narrative, despite the fact that such subtext was completely unintentional. Applegate did not write Animorphs to be queer media, but she's embraced the fact that it has became so in the hands of the fans. How perfectly fitting is it, then, that she unknowingly dedicated the entire series to a trans woman?
#the name doesn't appear until book 14#you can mark the exact point she was born based on when the acknowledgement page changes#which then led applegate to taking on ghostwriters#so she wpuld have more time to take care of the baby#and now applegate's open support of the trans community is one of the biggest legacies of animorphs#(especially in comparison to a certain other children's author)#and her daughter coming out has only bolstered that message#like#it's insane the degree to which she has influenced this series behind the scenes#i think about this so much#animorphs#ka applegate#katherine applegate#transgender#trans#idiot teenagers with a death wish#koolmathgames.com
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Our Flag Means Death 1x4 | 1x6 | 2x6 | 2x7 ⇉ if the bed nook could talk...
#ngl it's driving me bonkers a little that ed was about to kill stede IN the bed nook like behind the curtains#and the scene is filmed so erotically??#the lighting and ed's low voice when he says “scary as hell” and the hand he gently places on stede's back#and instead of killing stede he relives his trauma related to killing#and stede takes care of him so so gently and that scene is ALSO very intimate#they could've just as easily put jim's shadow show in the bed nook and ed's hiding place in the library nook but no#they put ed and stede together in the bed nook#and it's the only other time they're both in there with stede drawing the curtains closed BUT we're behind the curtain with them#sorry this just set off a lot of thoughts on my latest rewatch aksdhjsk THERE'S SOMETHING THERE#also i know i made a similarly themed set with just the 1x4 and 2x7 scenes but the “murder attempt” scene being one of these 4 intimate one#with the two of them together in there#idk i've been rotating it in my brain#ofmd#ofmd s2#our flag means death#ofmdedit#ofmdsource#ofmd gifs#ida.stuff#ofmd 1x4#ofmd 1x6#ofmd 2x6#ofmd 2x7#edward teach#stede bonnet#blackbonnet#gentlebeard
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