#the one who everyone goes “but not you. you're like.. a guy”

[corkinavoid]

DPxDC Urgent Call

"I need your phone."

Tim looks up from his laptop. The boy in front of him looks like he's been dragged to Hell a week ago and just made it back: smudges of soot on his face, his not-so-white t-shirt smelling of smoke, and a nasty looking burn on his hand that he somehow doesn't even pay attention to. Tim thinks back to his mental list of 'Rogues currently on the loose', but it's only Ivy and Harley (who don't even count anymore), and Penguin, who is not known for setting things on fire.

"I can call 911 for you, if you want?" He offers, because this is still Gotham. Despite the fact that a slightly scorched guy casually walking into a coffee shop is not something out of the ordinary here, he's not giving his phone to strangers.

The guy grimaces and starts aggressively rummaging through his pockets.

"No, thanks, ACAB and all that, and they won't do shit here anyway," he says, and then pulls a handful of tangled golden jewelry — rings, chains, necklaces with various gems in them — from his pocket and places it on the table in front of Tim. "I need your phone," he repeats.

Tim stares. First, at the gold — these things look antique, and his parents were archeologists, he knows what he's talking about — then, back at the guy. He looks... ordinary, sans the dirt and smell.

But the burn on his hand looks significantly more healed than it did just a minute ago.

Thankfully, Tim has already had his cup of morning coffee. Which means he is thinking very rationally when he does get his phone out of his pocket and hands it to the guy, just to see what he does next.

"Thanks," the guy grins at him, plucking the phone out of Tim's hand and unlocking it. Tim's eyebrows shoot up — there's a password there! — but the stranger is already dialing in a number and pressing the phone to his ear.

It takes less than a second before someone evidently picks up, and the guy starts talking.

"I have less than three minutes before the phone dies, so listen very carefully. Etrigan is fine, Jason is not, Klarion is still being a bitch. Dora won't help anymore, so you're on your own until Sam makes it there with the staff. I'm in Gotham because, apparently, mazes and I don't mix well together, so if you could summon me back, that'd be cool," he says, a look of mild annoyance on his face.

Tim is back to staring at him. He recognizes some of the names, and, well, one could have been an oddity, two a coincidence, but three is a pattern.

"The fuck you mean you can't, I gave you the incantation two months ago!" The guy raises his voice, his foot tapping on the floor in frustration. "Do you think I just go around giving my summons to people for shits and giggles? Like, yeah, have a spell that unleashes a cosmic being of immeasurable power, use it as a bookmark!"

This interaction, despite Tim only hearing one side of it, gets more and more alarming with every word.

But then, the boy suddenly straightens up and stills, his eyes flashing bright, unpleasantly familiar green.

"You what?" He asks, his voice slipping from just angry to quietly enraged hiss, "Sold it to whom?!" But, before he gets an answer, Tim's phone makes a thin, tiny buzzing sound, and the guy takes it off his ear, looking at the screen.

"No, no-no-no," he mutters, shaking it like that would make it work. To no avail, though: the phone screen flashes a few times and goes black. The guy curses. At least Tim thinks it's a curse because he doesn't understand a word, but the stranger's face and intonation are telling.

"Useless fucking moron of a human, I swear I'm going to drown you in cow shit once this is over," he switches to English, dropping the phone on the table right by the small pile of gold, "I'll bargain your pathetic soul from everyone you've ever dealt with and give it to the Observants, and maybe, after a few millenia of endless Council paperwork, I'll have mercy and sell it back to Lucifer and watch him fry you on a skillet."

...Whoever the boy is, Tim absolutely refuses to ever piss him off, okay. That's an impressive threat to even make, not to mention being able to go through with it.

"Do you need help?" He asks cautiously. If he is getting his context clues right, this is something that involves JLD, and maybe John Constantine specifically since Tim doesn't know any other man who is a magic user, sold his soul numerous times, would care about Etrigan's wellbeing, and could invoke this kind of murderous intent.

The boy looks back at him, his eyes back to normal blue.

"Huh? Oh, no, I doubt this can be helped," he waves Tim off and pinches the bridge of his nose, "Sorry about the phone, but, unless you have a way to yeet me across the globe so I end up in London in the next twenty minutes..." he shrugs, smiling in that helpless 'nothing you can do here' way.

Tim picks up his phone. It's dead, wholly and completely, won't even turn on when he tries.

He really, really shouldn't do that. This is definitely none of his business, and very much out of his capabilities and area of expertise.

But he thinks about the zeta-tube in the Cave.

"Actually," he says, and the guy's eyes snap back to him, a bewildered sort of surprise on his face.

[howi99]

King of Teachers Au: Did Jaune get different advice from his parents on how to ask someone out?

He did, actually and not only his parents, but his cousins and sisters too.

Jeanne: *hugging her "big" bro* Don't worry Jaune, i'm sure someone will want to marry you!

Jaune: ... *Sigh* I know you are trying to encourage me, but that kinda came out as if you thought i had no chance in the first place.

Mordred: *sharpening her sword* I mean, no offense but you're kind of the runt of the family-

Jaune: *deadpan* Big word coming from the mouth of the eternal bachelor of the family.

Mordred: WHAT WAS THAT, PUNK?!

Jaune: *crossing his arms* I mean, when's the last time you brought ANYONE home? ... *Pensive* Wait, actually... Did you ever bring anyone home?

Jeanne: Same, i don't even remember her bringing a friend over-

Mordred: *Blushing from embarrassment* HEY! STOP HITTING ME WHERE IT HURTS THE MOST!!! *Pouting* Not my fault if everyone's too weak to play with me...

_ _ _

Artoria: Dating advice? *Point at herself* From me?

Jaune: *deadpan* You honestly think dad has better advice?

Artoria: Touché. *pensive* Well... Girls love guys who can cook, protect them, cook, are good with kids, cook, can fix stuff-

Jaune: *rolling his eyes* You are describing dad!

Artoria: *smile* And you! *Shuffle, Blushing slightly* By the way, could you-

Jaune: Dinner is in two hours! You'll wait like everyone else!

Artoria: Darn it!

_ _ _

Jaune: *sigh, looking up at the sky* Why is everyone in my family bad at dating?

Gareth: ... *Goes to speak*

Jaune: *not even looking at her* You tried dating your teacher; you are probably the worst example to follow.

Gareth: *Crimson from embarrassment* ... I didn't try dating Lancelot... And he's already married...

_ _ _

Jaune: *fishing with Merlin* Is it a curse? Or simply genetic?

Merlin: You are asking me, a man who has stayed single for millennia, for dating advice. *Chuckle* Honestly? Probably just a little bit of idiocy.

Jaune: *reeling up a brook trout from the river* That's fair.

Merlin: *reeling back a boot* Really? Again?

Jaune: *shrug* Add it to the pile; one day we'll have a pair.

_ _ _

Gilgamesh: *flower in hands* Behold how a true king court a woman-

Jaune: *unimpressed* You got rejected by my mom in three different timelines and that's without taking into account fate Zero; you have NO right to give me dating advice.

Gilgamesh: *frown* You insolent mongrel! Be glad that i, Gilgamesh-

Jaune: ... *Turning towards the house* Ma! Gilgamesh isn't respecting the restraining order!

Artoria: *slowly leaving the house, her lance in hand, a murderous light in her eyes*

Gilgamesh: *gulp* -will leave you alone for today! *Start running*

Artoria: *running after him* COME BACK HERE, YOU FUCKTWAT! I'LL RIP YOUR DICK OFF AND SEND IT TO YOUR BOYFRIEND AS AN APOLOGY!

Gilgamesh: *in the distance* WHY CAN'T I USE GATES OF BABYLON IN THIS WORLD!? IT'S UNFAIR!!!

Artoria: *activating her "Semblance"* Oh holy spear, removing anchor... Thrust and feast! Thirteen fangs! RHONGOMYNIAD!!!

Gilgamesh: *scream*

Jaune: ... *Look at the bushes* You know i can see the camera sticking out, right?

Medea: *hiding in said bushes* ... Please don't out me, i can't run as fast as him.

Jaune: ... Have any dating advice?

Medea: ... Don't fall for an asshole that will betray you?

Jaune: *sigh* Best advice yet... *Point to a tree* Go there; it's technically far enough from the property so that your restraining order doesn't become a problem, while also giving you a better angle for the kitchen.

Medea: But... That's where she's staying most of the time! Why?!

Jaune: A gift, for being the most useful today... *Frown* And to piss off that guy.

[teruthecreator]

gimme 1 and 17 dialtown ☎️

hiiiii griffin i hope you're having a good time at graduation. probably not since u sent this ask but hey man i get i too was on my phone during graduation. anyway

1. the character everyone gets wrong

oh boy where do i start with this. i mean like. tee bee aych i feel like most people have a fundamental misunderstanding of randy. like he's not pathetic for pathetics sake he kind of intentionally puts himself in the worst situations imaginable to feed his worldview of everything being bad for Him specifically and no one else. the fandom kind of babygirls him? like treats him softer and generally makes him more of a shy uwu guy rather than a person stuck deeply in his own fractured worldview that is intentionally letting himself get worse. like randy's whole route is about making him realize his happiness is His Choice, His Decision and not a work of fate/luck/unseen outside force that he has to relinquish control to, and everyone just goes "yeah but what if we make him sopping wet uwu yaoibait guy with oliver".

speaking of oliver i feel like EEEEEEEEEVERYBODY makes him way too wacky and not actually grounded. like, despite his many odd mannerisms and such, he is still one of the few characters who has a job and is able to Maintain That throughout his route (though, of course, in the good route it changes). oliver is a pretty stable guy, all things considered. sure he talks funny and has a general inclination for the ridiculous, but a lot of people kinda coke him up and let him run loose like he's a wild animal. and i think it's more fun if you ground him in a place of reality and then let him play. instead of being the guy to drag people into stuff, let him be a part of a scenario and see what his reactions are. much more fun. also i feel like a lot of people forget how, like, awkward he is? like he tends to apologize when he says really outlandish/forward shit and seems to view Himself as a "freak" in a way that would suggest he's aware of how he stands in comparison to most people. like dude knows he's weird, and that's not Always a good thing.

and yknow what while im talking about the main dateables i would be remiss to bring up karen because like. WOW. i mean this is a problem with most fandom spaces unfortunately but the way people straightman her is so fucking sad. like people forget she literally quit her job on a Whim because someone vaguely suggested leaving and she went full throttle. karen is impulsive and karen makes bad decisions based on rash judgments and she is generally not that hard to goad into doing something stupid. i mean, she agreed to a date with gingi. twice! that takes some real loose grips on impulse control to just go along with that. like sure she is a bit more deadpan than, say, oliver, but she does have a sense of humor. she likes to use sarcasm! she has wit she has sass. also she is like. INSANELY jealous and i feel like a lot of people dont hone in on that aspect of her being the reason why she is sometimes so rash. she is fiercely protective of those she considers "hers". she wanted to Kill A Giraffe because gingi liked it. she is jealous she is rash she is impulsive PLAY IN THE SPACE STOP MAKING HER THE DEADPAN STRAIGHTMAN ITS SO BORINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

okay that's enough of that but just know i could've done it for every character

17. there should be more of this type of fic/art

maybe i am insanely ridiculously biased but there should more content of mingus and norm. or just mingus. or norm. those two are SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO fascinating and i feel like people kinda gloss over that. like they're similar beasts in their rampant paranoia and flawed perspective on callum/the world and they butt heads about it like crazy. generally their dynamic is one of the most interesting parts of chapter 3 to me and i feel like there really isn't enough chapter 3-focused content out there. we should talk about these guys more. and if i have to stand on a podium and take a stand there should be more content of MINGUS. girl is the driving antagonist of AN ENTIRE ARC. BASICALLY THE WHOLE GAME IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT. AND NOOOOOO I DON'T SEE HER ANYWHERE. IS IT BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T FIT IN YOUR FOUND FAMILY DYNAMIC? IS IT BECAUSE SHE'S A WOMAN? I DON'T KNOW I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DIRECT YOU PEOPLE TOWARDS HER BUT I WANT TO. if my brain was functioning at the capacity it was last july i would've written ten million fics about her i have so many days. alas, i don't know if they'll ever happen... (but if people were curious i would gladly share)

but in a slightly more biased take, i think there needs to be more normingus in the world. how we were the chosen few to proclaim the good word of normingus is beyond me. like don't get me wrong i'm happy tryt had its impact but JESUS CHRIST I SHOULD NOT BE THE MOST POPULAR. SOMEONE ELSE COME TRY AND PLAY IN THE SPACE WITH ME. I CAN GIVE YOU IDEAS. I CAN GIVE YOU SO MANY IDEAS.

[yikesy]

I'm aware of how random this sounds

But because rrverse Apollo and rrverse Hermes have a tense and distant relationship, I was thinking about how differently they interact with their kids, and my thoughts spiralled until I thought of Luke.

I feel like an Apollo and Luke interaction would be so interesting. Luke probably wouldn't like him due how May got all messed up from trying to be his Oracle, but I feel like Apollo would be a kind uncle BECAUSE he knows what Luke's fate is (and probably disapproves about how Hermes treated the whole thing).

Like remember when Apollo once said that he would of adopted Frank if he could? I would like to think he would of wanted to adopt Luke too.

Your thoughts?

oh luke DOES NOT have a good impression of apollo. apart from the may thing let's not forget the event that kinda radicalized him was HALCYON GREEN. it's very interesting actually because he sees hermes as uncaring and neglectful but he sees apollo as actively malicious

so he thinks hermes is The Worst bc of his inaction but then comes apollo who he perceives as too involved, in the bad way (he's not, luke who by pure coincidence witnessed two apollo related atrocities before sixteen is an outlier and shouldn't be counted) Lots of wires crossed

but sadly I think bc of that his reaction to apollo would be very,, measured?? like, he thinks he's evil!! apollo would come down to see what's the deal with this kid everyone's making such a fuss about and luke would be very polite and amiable and and apollo would get hermes vibes™™ that he's just acting like that to hide he's scared and uncomfortable and then apollo would leave bc he doesn't want to keep subjecting him to that by forcing his presence. but he wouldn't know just How Much he was lying then and the depth of his Issues

but if they somehow got into a situation where luke gives up any attempt at preservation and GOES OFF at apollo (which he would) apollo would, well he would respond very calmly and pointedly take responsibility for everything which would confuse THE FUCK out of luke

and then he would go directly to hermes and tell him he needs to get down here now this shit is serious and hermes would be like "you know I can't why are you making it more painful than it already is" and apollo would be like "you're being an extremist and oddly stubborn about this" and they would go at it for a looong time.

apollo's opinion on luke's fate is that hermes may not be able to control or change it but what hermes can control is his own relationship with luke and the way he's hurting him right now, that if tragedy is going to happen anyway and you love the one it's heading to, then it's your duty to balance the scales and steal moments from between the lines of prophecy, so that happiness WAS there, even if it didn't change anything. that hermes is not only withdrawing his love but causing more misery to an already doomed person... he cannot stand for it

in the end apollo would end up routinely dragging hermes to see luke bc hermes does want to but he won't admit anything to apollo and he'd be sooo awkward and pathetic with luke and luke would stare at him with disdain and judgement. in the end apollo ends up acting like a kind of particularly forceful family therapist

so lmao from luke's perspective it would be like "this guy I don't like and I don't understand, for an unfathomable reason, took my dad being absent as a personal offense and now keeps dragging him here like some kind of cat who keeps bringing dead mouse and keeps dropping by to give me weekly updates and lessons on godly psychology and politics"

[boudicasdaughter]

musician here- 15+ years in it professionally- I can! The pop industry can be picked apart pretty quickly, it's not that big.

I like to call it 'the game'.

What music companies do is come up with a brand to target a market, then sign talent to fit that market. Here's The Game: how well each album does determines how much creative control you as an artist have over the next album; you sign for multiple albums at a time, and if you make no money you're done. This means you can be 'shelved' in favor of another artist in your genre; you cannot sign with anyone else but they won't approve release of your next album.

If you come to the table with no writing chops, your job is pretty much to sing what's written for you until you can prove yourself. Example; Taylor Swift used to write pop with the people her teams chose frequently (as you'll see in a moment!), but as a superstar she's been working with Aaron Dessner from The National (and I, a former hater, give folklore a *chef's kiss*)

Aight let's fuckin go let's start with the song that made my mother ban Britney Spears from our house:

there are lots of places that list songwriters, but the easiest way is usually to check the lyric sites (which pull from those places)

Max Martin and Rami. Very famous writing/production team (both men), who have made pop songs for decades now. That album was one of their first projects together. Max Martin you may have heard of before. Here are his Billboard Hot 100 hits; you can see how he writes to the "brand" of each artist:

MAX MARTIN ALSO GOT DR. LUKE FAMOUS. Dr. Luke (of abusing Ke$ha fame) was the fucking guitarist for SNL until like 2007- but he met Max at a house party and they started swapping songs and eventually they wrote a big P!nk song together- THIS ONE:

Their next big hit was "I Kissed A Girl" for Katy Perry (who was discovered and signed as a 15 year old LITERAL CHURCH GIRL SINGING GOSPEL SONGS BY THE WAY!) Are you getting the picture? Dr Luke signed Kesha when she was 18!

Somewhere along the way Max Martin started another writing team called Wolf Cousins, which still functions as a songwriter club where he mentors other men on how to crack the charts. They made 1989 by Taylor and "Talking Body" by Tove Lo and Ariana's My Everything and Sweetener and and and - the list goes on, you can look it up.

Want a different genre? Let's check a song from someone who came to the industry with more influence and social power, at an older age: Cardi B's "WAP" (w Megan Thee Stallion). They're both credited as songwriters, but look at who else is:

Austin, James and Jorden? Yeah, I know em that's these guys, Ayo N Keyz and Megan's ex-boo Pardison Fontaine:

So, this was a kinda meh song Cardi (a brand) was making with Ayo and Keyz (recording) and Pardison Fontaine (writing) - until PF got close with Megan in 2020 and got her involved for some verses, and then they were cooking with sauce:

and THIS WAS THE FINAL PRODUCT! BEHOLD, "HOW TO RECEIVE SEXUAL PLEASURE FROM MEN BY CARDI B"

So yes, I'm sure Cardi/Megan wrote some lines on that song. Only they know who wrote which parts - but my point is this:

If you, as an artist, can't write a charting hit alone, the music companies are gonna stick you in a room with someone who can. Those people - at the company and in the room - are almost always men.

If you want to play The Game, your music gets filtered through the male gaze.

Nothing in pop is exempt from this process.

Everyone uses this model. Everyone. You like Doechii? She was put with Gotye (yes Im serious, the "Somebody I Used to Know" guy). Gracie Abrams? That's Aaron from The National again. Ryan from OneRepublic wrote songs that ended up with Adele and Ellie Goulding. Beyoncé took a song or two from him too, as well as from Ne-Yo and a bunch of others. Jack from Fun/Bleachers has a whole career doing this.

"Fancy" by Iggy Azalea and Charli XCX? I see seven writers credited, they're the only women listed. Remember "Glamorous" by Fergie? Six writers, five are men. Miley Cyrus has star power in her brand and can request to work with who she wants, but she doesn't write well - so her new song "End of the World" credits her, and Molly from Alvvays (an amazing musician and songwriter), and then five men. Miley's first big hit that I remember was "Party In The USA" - but she's not even a credited writer. That song came from Dr Luke and a producer being put in a room with 20 year old Jessie J- and they gave 15 y/o Miley that song because it was a winner and she was an industry baby with a Disney brand who needed a song and could outsell Jessie. "Monster" by Rihanna was another big one. That was Bebe Rexha's (written by Jon Bellion and friends) until it was given to sexy sexy Rihanna and Eminem was added for star power. You can still find Bebe's version leaked on YouTube.

Halsey? Last I checked was Nine Inch Nails. Rosalia? Yes, she plays the game too. Selena Gomez- yup, definitely. Camila Cabello? Haha! Lizzo? Yeah, I think her big hits were all the guy who wrote Derulo's "Talk Dirty". I could keep going. No one is exempt from The Game.

You can be smart about it, like Megan Trainor and Lady Gaga, and study music until you're hooky enough to sign with a label who can see you as a writer and you choose your own cowrites, harmless mostly gay men or older family men, but you can't escape The Game.

As a woman: if they can scout you young and train you to be a consistent cowriter (Lana, Taylor, Lorde) - great! If you can write for others and yourself (Sia, Julia Michaels, Starrah) - even better! If you can't write for shit, you can always be a sexy sexy singer (Katy Perry, Rihanna, Dua Lipa) and have the good ol' boys write for you. (Until you're not sexy sexy anymore, at least.)

Male singers have to play The Game too; Bernie Taupin wrote for Elton John, Jimmy Napes writes many of Sam Smith's hooks, Benny Blanco has a huge career writing for the pop charts- but. BUT. Women write for women, sometimes- while men write for men and women, always.

There's a difference between being a singer/songwriter and being a ghostwriter for people. Being just a writer, as a woman? Difficult as fuck. We can sometimes break into that world (Amy Allen for Sabrina Carpenter, Lauren Christy for Avril Lavigne, Kara Dioguardi, Laura Veltz) and live on royalties without fame, but you must still write for the male gaze brand, selling something that can make music videos and tour and partner with huge sponsors- it's still a boys club. Which is why I started the post with Max fucking Martin who runs a literal songwriting boys club. His is very far from being the only one. His just specializes in this Brand Artist trash for young women, and is good at keeping trend-relevant producers around so they've haunted the charts like misogynistic Swedish ghouls for decades. Look up some recent hits and you'll see Dr Luke is out of favor and Shellback is the new hot sound, and I'm sure some new one on the way.

TLDR- there are a bunch of women in music (hello!) BUT we rarely get signed to write unless we can ALSO perform as the face of a brand; unless we can be sexy sexy marketable. Men are the radio heads, label execs, studio owners, songwriters and producers and gatekeepers, all beholden to a $30 BILLION DOLLAR INDUSTRY.

So yeah. it's a fucking thing. It's at the core of how it works. Women are the face of the brand catered to a market, men hold the power.

Ive been in this since the aughts and it's been horribly sexist the entire time, top to bottom. I've been stuck in those rooms with those men. I've been badgered for sex. I've been groped (and worse) and stalked and threatened and harassed and more, and I know plenty of industry scandals where women took settlement money to stay quiet about sexual assault, discrimination and more. The hierarchy is clear to everyone. Every time you're in the label offices or studio you see some pretty young women with stars in her eyes, being shown around and promised millions by a sleezy old douchebag.

This shit is systemic. Sex sells and the companies that control everything want to make money so they make and sell sex. It's designed to sell over authentic music not produced by a huge team of marketing specialists and predatory and self-obsessed men. Once in a blue moon does someone escape this formulaic hellscape of the music charts I've tried to show here and - lemme tell you - I fucking live for the moments that they do. All of us in the music world constantly have our ear to the ground for aberrations, moments of genuine artistry and authentic creativity powering through to popularity as these huge music corporations fight with each other for space on the charts. I think the most recent for me was Gigi Perez.

When you start paying attention, it's easy to see who's making money for what. The harsh truth, from a woman in music, is that a lot of women in music are just recording artists who decide to play the game and let men write their brand while they tour and dance in music videos, and it's insidious as fuck what the end result is.

fuck this business

anyways go GO FORTH with this knowledge on how to pick apart a pop song and slay. sorry for ruining the radio for you.

oh, and don't fall for the "breakout indie music" schtick either; Chappell Roan's cowriter is Dan from As Tall as Lions and his other recent project was Olivia Rodrigo:

NONE OF US ESCAPE THE GAME

most female pop singers are a face used to market songs written and produced by men, styled and choreographed and directed by men, dressing men's thoughts up as women's thoughts and then convincing the world this is how women think and feel because men's words are coming out of a woman's mouth

[sparrows4bats]

Another Damian as Selinas Sidekick AU

I love the idea that Damian becomes a doctor so much, but I am also aware that he is a little adrenaline junkie and would be bored and miss vigilantism.

So, instead of going to his father and asking for the occasional patrol or spar. Damian decides to go to Selina with his boredom.

Selina and he have bonded over the years. Their shared love of cats, their rough past, and their very different yet complicated relationship to the batman. So Damian meets her for coffee every couple of weeks to vent.

It's therapeutic, and Damian quite likes having someone who listens to his side of things without rushing to defend everyone else. Selina has been around a long time and is well aware of the flaws of his father and siblings. She understands his frustration and the fact that it doesn't change how much he loves his family.

Selina has a soft spot for the boy who was so hurt and angry when she first met him but decided his own path to helping people. So when Damian tells her how he misses the adrenaline, the adventure, but can't hurt people anymore. (He took an oath, and he doesn't want to anymore, never again if he can help it.) Selina has a wonderful idea.

If he won't be a vigilante anymore, why not a thief?

Damian protests when she suggests it. At first.

Then Selina mentions how an awful lot of the money she takes ends up in the hands of the community and that she is not active nearly as much as Batman. A good heist takes quite a bit of planning after all.

The thing that really sold him is when Selina said she needed back up anyway to steal this artifact from a private collector and return it to its country of origin.

Doctor Damian Wayne sits across from her, a cat in his lap, and smiles as she outlines the plan and agrees easier than she thought he would.

Now Damian is highly trained, turned into a weapon from birth, but Selina insists on showing him some of her own moves. Damian excels in flexibility and the more arobatic elements. He picks pockets and exploits alarm systems like he's done it for years. He grins as he tells her exactly how he got around his father. No one wise ever lets anyone know all of their skills, even allies.

Selina delights in teaching him social exploitation, how to use his looks and charm to convince marks to just let him in. She laughs at the disgisted face he makes as she describes how to flirt and distract. Selina is actually a little impressed with how well he does at it after a bit of practice on regular people.

They melt at his accent and pretty green eyes, tripping over themselves to give Damian anything he wants if only to have his attention a moment longer.

Selina giggles at the thought of Bruce's and the other bats' reaction to their baby becoming the object of admirers. She reminds herself to get him to use his new skills at the next Wayne Gala so she can watch the chaos.

Finally, Selina declares him ready and hands him his new costume. Which happens to be a skintight black catsuit made from what he guesses is reinforced material, complete with a mask to cover his mouth and a hood with cat ears sewn on top.

"No."

"But you'll look so cute kitten!"

"I'll look like an idiot!"

"You need a suit, I altered one of mine, so unless you're going to rob this guy wearing the Robin outfit, it'll have to do."

"Fine!"

"Do you have a name? Or am I calling you kitten all night?"

Damian sighs and thinks, "You can call me Stray."

The job goes extremely well. Catwoman and Stray get in, grab the artifacts and a few extras that catch their eye, and get out without anyone noticing. It's the most fun Damian has had in ages, flitting across rooftops once again.

After that, Stray makes regular appearances, robbing the corrupt and returning culturally significant objects and wealth to where they belong. Afterwards, he goes to work and saves lives.

Damian and Selina don't tell the others about their escapades. Damian doesn't want the hassle of explaining his choices to them, and ever since he hung up the cape, his father and brothers have been overprotective to the extreme. Silena is waiting until the world's greatest detective figure out his civilian son is now her sidekick.

Batman notices Strays existence months after Damian starts his new hobby. He meets his father in the house of a mob boss Catwoman had been targeting for years.

"Catwoman, whose your friend?" Batman grunts

"Oh, Batsy, meet my kitten, Stray."

Damian pitches his voice a little lower and carefully imitates a Gotham accent.

"Great to finally meet you Batman, my mentor has told me so much about you." Damian offers a clawed hand. His father doesn't take it.

"Get out of here. This guy is involved in a human trafficking ring I'm tracking down."

"All the more reason to liberate his ill gotten gains, don't cha think?" Damian asks with a smirk.

Batman glares at him but let's them leave with a few nice paintings and doesn't bother giving chase. Damian ignores Selina winking at the Bat and whispering in his ear for his own sanity.

It goes on like this for weeks. When he sees his father outside the mask, the man is doting and worried if he's eating enough. When he he meets Batman, the man is cold and standoffish.

The other bats enjoy his humour but are thoroughly confused at his ability to evade them.

(Bruce is losing it because the last time a masked figure showed in Gotham with vaguely familiar moves, it was Jason on a revenge mission. At least, Stray isn't beheading people, but Bruce needs to know who he is, like yesterday.)

Silena says nothing but laughs at their confusion. Her kitten is having fun for the first time in years, and not even the bats are going to ruin that.

It works well, Damian helps Silena while he keeps his new life as a doctor without his family knowing his secret. He enjoys the adrenaline and sleeps better with some sort of outlet.

Then, all of the Batfamily are kidnapped.

Damian doesn't know how it happened or why he is the only one left to deal with it, but Silena called, and now he has to go rescue his idiots. Silena is with the sirens out of town, so Stray goes in solo. (he doesn't have time to find a robin suit.)

He finds his family tied up and mildly drugged in a large basement.

"Why are you here?!" Nightwing asks as he is untied.

"Because apparently you all are incapable of keeping yourselves out of trouble without my help!"

"We've never needed your help before?" Red Robin interjects, looking at him like a puzzle.

"Yes, take that tone! Agent A is waiting at the cave for you all, and God help me if any of you patrol again without me clearing you!"

"Wait-" Batman starts. "Damian!"

Every other bat looks at him in shock.

"No names in the suit, Father!"

All of the vigilantes start to talk over each other as Damian sighs. He has a shift in 5 hours and probably won't be able to sleep before it now.

Just as Damian has untied the last of his siblings, the door to the basement busts open to reveal a very serious looking Jon Kent. Tim had apparently activated the distress beacon.

Stray holds his face in his hand. "Bit late there, Superman." As he turns to a hovering Jon Kent.

"Damian?!" The Super gapes at him.

"No names in the suit, Hayseed!" Damian crosses his arms, his glare visible even if his scowl is hidden. Jon immediately turns bright red. Damians family look on in dread.

"I didn't know you even had a suit anymore!"

"It wasn't important!"

"Looks pretty important to me! What? Trade in the bird theme for... Are those cat ears??"

Damian glares harder. "They weren't my choice."

"Yeah, I got that. This is very different from your old Robin get-up." Jon looks him up and down. "Suits you, though."

Damian hopes his heartbeat doesn't give away how that comment affects him, but going by the smirk on Jons face, he already knows.

"NO!" Damians brothers shout from beside him.

"Stray, you are coming back to the cave." Batman orders

"But Father-"

"Now."

Damian really just wants to sleep, but his father isn't giving him a choice in the matter. He looks towards Jon and has a wonderful idea.

"Superman, I could use an evac." Jon takes a moment, smiles, and grabs the cat themed thief and flies them both away. They both ignore the other heroes yelling behind them.

After a few minutes of flying, Jon sets him down in the middle of a field.

"So you're Stray now?"

"I needed an outlet that didn't hurt people, Silena suggested it." Damian says while taking down his mask and hood. "Thank you for the escape."

Jon chuckles. "Anytime." He steps closer. "If you want to repay the favour, you could take me to dinner?" He flirts.

Damian raises a brow. "Really?"

"I'll even pay."

"How is that repayment?"

"Was thinking more of a date, actually?" Jon looks at his lips as he says this.

"The Cat Costume really does it for you, huh?" Damian teases.

"No, you do it for me. I've been trying to ask you out for ages, but seeing you in skintight leather is definitely a hell of a motivation."

Damian hums. "Tommorrow then, you can pick me up after my shift. If you let me sleep before I have to work in the morning"

"Deal."

His family eventually interrogate him about being Stray, but not before they find Jonathan Kent waiting for him with flowers and a kiss.

Needless to say, Selina is highly entertained when she returns.

[ywpd-translations]

Ride 818: The red bean!!

Pag 1

2: …. they're coming

3: They swallowed Midosuji

4: and tore that Huge-cchbori off

5: Hakone Academy!! Is getting super close!!

Pag 2

1: With his blood redder than anyone's

Pag 3

1: with a heart bigger than anyone's, he runs the fastest and flashily!!

Pag 4

1: 1700m left until the finish line!!

They passed the 2km point!!

They're entering Beppu City!!

2: Everyone in the chasing group swallowed Kyoto Fushimi and they're now chasing Sohoku's Naruko who's running alone!!

3: The distance is shortening so fast!!

It's 100m.... 50m!!

Pag 5

1: It's only a matter of time!! They're gonna catch Sohoku!!

Pag 6

1: Sohoku's Naruko

Going ahead alone was just a brave move...!! Even though I was surprised when you jumped ahead at 5km left...!!

2: Alright, a quiz for you, Yuuto

Huh

Again? Even though I just pointed it out earlier

3: In how many meters do I plan on catching him!?

4: Ugh!! Isn't that just up to you to decide!?

Pag 7

1: It's 300m!!

Pag 8

3: Hakone Academy is accelerating again!!

They're gonna catch Sohoku!!

4: So this time you give the answer so quickly!!

Pag 9

2: I caught you!!

Don't push yourself, I'll make it easy for you!!

3: 1500m left until the finish line!!

Pag 10

1: Sohokuu!!

Do your best, red guy!!

They'll catch him soon...

Pedal..!!

3: Oi oi, just when I thought Kyofushi's wave had calmed down

4: Next is Hakogaku!?

5: Seriously?

6: What is this... I really am popular!!

7: They're getting closer... they really came so far

8: I've pedaled hard to get here, so my legs are becoming numb

You think....

Pag 11

4: you can catch me for sure!! Hakogaku-san!!

You basically caught me already!!

Pag 12

1: Me!!

4: Naruko's

5: aura has changed!!

Pag 13

1: Bikes have to fight against opponents, terrain, and one more thing – the wind!!

2: To fight the wind, you can't just use your strength

3: It's also important to minimize as much as possible the total area of your body that defies the wind!!

4: You think you got me, Hakogaku-san!?

Move up on the saddle as much as possible

5: Bend your elbows and grasp the handles at the top

6: Lower your body until your legs hit your chest

7: Lower your head and only look forward!!

Pag 14

1: And then, fold your body!!

2: Naruko... Naruko, who is already supposed to be small got even smaller!?

3: The careless moment you thought you got me was fatal

Pag 15

3: Look at this Naruko's killer technique!!

Pag 16

1: The compact transform Naruko Origami!!

Pag 17

1: He'a accelerating!?

2: We were alread about to catch him, and in that situation....

He's small but... he's fast!!

3: Jou-san!!

4: This highway is the national route 10, and it goes from north to south

5: and right here it's

6: a headwind from the south!!

In a headwind section....

Pag 18

1: the smaller the section, the fastest you are!!

2: We're being left behind!!

Don't tell me he even took into account this wind!?

3: Haven't you heard? If you don't know, I'll tell you, Four-eyes-Jou....

4: The speedman of Naniwa...

Pag 19

1: is a friend of the wind!!

3: Amazing! Sohoku is slowly leaving them behind again!

What's with that form!! He's small!! He's so small!!

Amazing!

He's small and flashy!!

Pag 20

1: Jou-san, the plan of catching him in 300m is over!!

2: I know!!

My calculations went awry!!

3: You're amazing, Naruko...

4: Last year, you

5: you lost to Hakone Academy because of the difference in your reach

And no matter how hard you try, there are difference that can't be changed

6: It must have been so frustrating

7: Naruko, this year you're on that same first stage

Pag 21

1: but this time, with that small body, you outwit Hakone Academy!!

Pag 22

1: That's Naruko Shoukichi!!

So he kept this special killer technique until now!!

2: Naruko use the fact that he's a “bean”....!!

3: Amazing

4: 1000m left!!

5: Keep going like this, Naruko!!

6: Until the finish line!!

Pag 23

2: I can hear the cheers from the other side's of the park's trees!!

Yeah!!

Naruko-saaaan!!

Narukoooo!!

3: Go, go Naruko!! Keep going like this...!!

That small style is so cool!!

4: Just now Naruko is running on the other side of that goal gate!!

Pag 24

1: The other side of the goal gate!!

3: The park separated the harbor with the gate from the national highway

You have to pass the position of the goal gate and then turn around

4: This year's Inter high's first day's finish line, once they pass the 1km mark it's a technical section

Pag 25

1: The race turns around twice, turns around by 180° and then turns towards the finish line!!

Pag 26

2: Cornering skills, speed, and technique

3: Intuition for the race

Physical

4: And luck!!

Pag 27

1: The one who is superior in all of this will win!!

[when-noodles-form-words]

One Joongdok AU (criminally good flavored) to go

legit had this idea just a while ago, like fresh outta the oven and cooled and ready to serve with milk kinda while ago too lazy to format so here we go

yjh is a terrorist/criminal head of a syndicate/notorious delinquent idk, but he gets arrested

kdj is an overworked prison guard who does shifts and security surveillance (and the actual warden but nobody tells that because....reasons, and they're very good reasons) and is the one who processes yjh in

and yjh gets annoyed by this guard who tries to get him to cooperate in this prison by seeing what he wants as soon as they hit the interrogation room. he's let out without making a deal, and at least agreeing to be cordial and warn kdj if he's ever in any danger of being attacked by the inmates (yjh is very confused at that - are all the inmates here violent?) and is let into his cell for the night, given the schedule of when to expect food, and how the next few years of his life will go

its slowly revealed, as yjh interviews the other prisoners, that this is how kdj has been able to secure his position so low on the chain, remain there for years, and maintain some semblance of peace within the prison; by semi-baiting the prisoners to be on their best behavior with under the table dealings and reforming them. he's found that incentive is the best way to keep riots and fights down, pacifying people is easier than beating them into submission, and literally has every single inmate wrapped around his finger

and he chooses to slack away all day because of it, and everyone knows it. he's the unofficial warden because he's allergic to paperwork (yjh learns he got bed sick for almost a week when promoted to second-hand man, and since then the inmates have kinda taken care to make a hierarchy around this man so nobody, cooperative or not, disrupts the delicate balance they have)

he also learns kdj likes investing emotionally in these people, and while contemplating what kind of deal he should strike with kdj (because its kinda an unwritten rule that until you converse with kdj and make a 'deal with the demon king' you're better off as an outcast, and it signifies that you'll be doing less time, being one of those in and out cases) that, as long as he has kdj's better interests in mind, he could figure out how far he can go

asking one of the inmates, he learns that kdj, because he's on surveillance, uses it as a chip to put inmates in place, by either ignoring what he sees or fabricating evidence, so its best to not get on his bad side or if one wants to cash in a favor for the right price, a quick meeting should be able to go unnoticed

thus, yjh years of scheming what to do with kdj begins, and progresses to the point he even starts to begin pursuing romantic intentions with kdj

(later on, after releasing from parole, he'd get arrested with the right charge he'd get put in prison again, just long enough to tease kdj more, until kdj made him realize that yjh could become a head prison master given enough years of reform and all that jazz. kdj then watches as yjh is let out one final time, and doesn't see him again for a while, and sorta forgets about him like the man he is, until he's introduced to the hardass new warden (think sp now that yjh has had to prove himself worthy of leaving the underground network, it wasn't easy to cut off his connections so he escaped with the most valuable thing being his life) and wanders around for like a week wondering why this guy looks so familiar and then approaches yjh and goes 'wait a minute i know you' and proceeds to say he looks like that one guy who stayed for maybe a month over robbing milk from the store, aka someone who is not yjh. then, yjh gets pissed and makes it his mission to make kdj remember who he is, and falls back into his flirty habits, then they live happy the end)

yea idk how it got to this long and filled out in like *checks time* thirty minutes?? from the three sentence summary of:

Criminal who falls for the local prison guards and who keeps getting arrested after being released just to keep seeing him

Is very specific in how he’s arrested so that its not too tight or loose for security so that he keeps seeing the guard

Guard does not get paid enough for this

but i found it very joongdok coded since theyre already both having a foot in crime, so why not

take it as you may, i really think this is hilarious personally, but i hope yall liked it too

stay healthy keep urself hydrated and have a wonderful day ~

[cccakessslicemeee]

Spoilers!!!!!! For fantasy high !!!!!!!

Thinking about Riz and Kristen at the end of junior year past Kipperlily and the bullshit and everyone is chilling the fuck out.

Maybe they have a party. They call it a "party" but it's just a little get together and there's some alcohol sure but nothing too crazy. Riz is in his feelings and a lotta alcohol. He's drinking a lil stupid but hey he's earned it.

Kristen and Riz are on the roof looking at the stars. Kinda dumb considering Kristen's -4 dex but what's life without the risk? Anyway they are up there and it's kinda chilli. A soft breeze and Riz looks at Kristen but he can't ask the question.

She knows what he's looking for.

".....I can try-no I'd like to try. For you I'd try."

"It's been years..."

"yeah... I know it's been awhile. I can still try right? What's the worst that happens? Nothing happens"

"we don't have a body."

"it'll make things harder for sure....no bones? Nothing?"

"nothing....although....maybe we shouldn't? He's doing work up there. Or down there? Somewhere he's working on stuff."

"why not just ask him? You have that wrist thing right?"

"I don't have the coins for it."

"Fabian does. "

"...I don't want to bother him for stuff like that-"

"Hey can I be serious for a second? Like for five minutes I just wanna be real with you. If it wasn't for you I wouldn't have been class president. We wouldn't have had a chance against Kipperlilly and her bullshit if you weren't painting the prettiest of pictures about me and my campaign. By rights you should have been class president you're so much smarter than I'll ever be. You believed in me when the teacher didn't and you helped me study on top of attending so much shit. I feel like you've done way more for me than whatever stupid amount of coins it is. We'll get the coins. Promise. And I *want* to try. Okay? It's the least I can do."

They pass out on the roof.

Kristen does want to try and bring Pok back to life but she doesn't want to get Riz's hopes up so she doesn't tell him about it. She does have the other bad kids with her. Fabian for coins and Fig for moral support.

The first attempt fails. Of course it does. Fig says something about "oh it's like a knock at the door from an uninvited guest right? He don't know us." Which kinda makes sense.

Kristen introduces herself. All the bad kids do, to Pok's grave. Her grandmaster plan is to try and bring him back to life in time for graduation but that only leaves so much time. They spend so much time on this, tweaking little things and studying up on how to do a true resurrection. Good news, Pok hasn't been dead for 200+ plus years and there doesn't seem to be any force controlling or hell bent on keeping his soul so it should work. Cassandra and Ankarna are absolutely willing and able to lend a hand.

Riz is invested in his clue board because he's got another case, something less intense than murder but he's shuffling pictures and yarn around while he tries to figure out who has the better motive to steal the deed to some outdated historical building in Bastion city. The door to the apartment jiggles but Riz doesn't pay it any mind. It's Fig or Kristen or maybe mom came home early. Anyway he's just hyper focused on his board, eager to solve this low stakes case.

Pok comes into the apartment. It's different and yet so familiar. It's nicer now than he remembers it and there are so many more pictures on the walls. He says something to Riz who probably responds with something dismissive but not super rude. He's busy with his work. Pok comes close enough to see how his son goes about putting the pieces together. Focused and entirely calculating.

"I don't suppose you'd like a hand?"

"I think....that I've got....this one almost figured out. Petty theft. Family heirloom."

"Is that so?"

"Yes. The family is insufferable."

"Oh? That's a shame. It's safe to assume then they are a wealthy lot?"

"Loaded....the guy here sells engagement rings-well all sorts of rings but he's known for engagement and wedding rings."

They chat loosely back and forth but it's Pok just asking questions about his son's current project until Riz realizes who he's been talking to. It's a little silly to see how long it takes Riz to pull himself away from his clue board but when he dies there's a moment of solid, unbreakable silence as he realizes his father is right there. Completely corporal. They embrace and they both go to tears. He's fucking here! And he's home!

Kristen did it!

[klysanderelias]

Maybe the thing I hate the most about Critical Role's influence on ttrpg culture is the 'How Do You Want To Do This' shit - I hate it so much.

And like, y'know, there's a conversation to be had about the way it centers grotesque, over the top violence, and how it often produces wildly dissonant moments where a character suddenly goes wildly outside the bounds of who they are simply for a 'cool moment' or where it dramatically changes the tone of a fight and thus how I feel about it (and that's not even mentioning the way that players will do shit like that randomly - I will never not be upset about the way that Dim/ension 20 had the whole 'goblin up the asshole' thing)

And there's also something to be said for like, it's just a fun thing matt mercer wanted to do to let his players feel cool and give them the mic for a second to cut a promo, and it's definitely not the only thing that the show is about, but like...

It's like the GBBO Handshake, y'know? It's something that's Iconic, and gets this sort of following because it feels momentous or special, and suddenly all anyone cares about is getting it. Like, it is annoying to me how people will fall over themselves to get a handshake from paul hollywood but literally no one cared about impressing Mary Berry to the same extent. She didn't have a Thing and so her feedback was always rated lower than Paul's because the Handshake Mattered.

And I don't think it's Matt Mercer's fault the way I think it's Paul Hollywood's fault, exactly, but it is one of those things that I do have to assign blame to him as the originator of a thing that I hate.

Specifically because.

It creates this culture where the biggest moment you can get, the thing everyone wants, is to get the messy kill. It creates this culture where getting to describe an over the top Doom finisher is an ideal, and where it feels like it's the one moment where every GM is willing to share the spotlight a little.

And that sucks. For a lot of reasons, but primarily because it decenters like, any other agency the player can exert.

It sucks so bad when the only time you get creative agency as a player is to say how much you kill a thing. Throw out as many ideas as you want in the rest of the game, and get ignored or shot down, but this one guy? This rando bandit? This is your moment, brother.

And again, I don't think this is necessarily how Critical Role is run, but it's definitely how it's played, and how it models behavior for players, which is why it's so upsetting. I love listening to ACTUAL actual plays, where things are discussed openly at the table, because it gives people a model for how to handle things. Critical Role, all that stuff is discussed off-stream, all the backstory stuff is worked out ahead of time and all the major story beats are pre-planned, even if just in vague terms, and I think that's fine! IF you're doing a stage show, and not an actual play. Yes, players should discuss ahead of time whether they're interested in having their characters pursue a romance, and yes, if a GM is going to introduce a major plot arc based around a PC there should be discussion about it ahead of time, but obfuscating all of that just means that people listening don't understand how to DO it.

And what it means is that the big moment where players get to hold the reins for even a second, on-screen, is the kill.

And all the other stuff? Well, y'know, you don't need to ask the players for input. Just be a good DM, like Matt. Just tell a great story and they'll all sit in raptured silence and be so excited to follow the tracks to the next plot point, and the only time you need to check to see if they want to DO anything is when they roll a crit.

And it's just like, there are basically no 'how do you want to do this' moments in the HUNDREDS of episodes of Friends at the Table, and all of the memorable moments are players taking agency and pitching ideas. Like, there are big kills in Friends at the Table that fucking HIT, and none of them are because they're Doom Finishers. Hadrian in the Hieron holiday special fucking HITS because it's a meaningful, powerful character choice. Mother Glory in the other Hieron holiday special HITS because it's such a tragic, hateful thing to have happen. Hella killing [redacted] isn't cool or exciting, it sucks, and it plays directly into her 'I would rather destroy something than try to understand it' morality, so it fucking HITS.

And like, I could go for hours, and I couldn't tell you ANY of the 'how do you want to do this' moments from the 50-60 episodes of critical role that I watched, because they all suck. They're all just spectacle, just getting keys jingled in your face for a few seconds, and it's so frustrating that it feels like that's the only thing people have taken away from Matt Mercer's GMing (I have a lot of OTHER critiques about his GMing, so I'm not saying that learning from him in other ways is better, but I'm also a hater).

But y'know, they clip well for tiktok or whatever.

It's just one more goddamn thing I hold against 5e culture, but it's also so quintessentially AMERICAN - of COURSE we're going to want to spotlight a grotesque kill, have you watched ANY of our tv shows. Of course the only time that a player's input is needed is so they can narrate their finisher - that's EASY and it's FUN because we have no concept of the humanity of the people we kill. It's fun to climb up a monster's asshole because no one has to consider whether that COUNTS against a nonperson.

And it's just like, y'know, I feel like there's this glorification of violence as long as you can feel justified, and it's easy for us to feel justified, so you end up with people making zombie movies just so that they can sell fantasies of shooting your neighbor in his face for mowing the lawn too often, or you ignore any morality because someone hurting you in the past DEFINITELY justifies waterboarding them with isopropyl.

And like, I don't want to be too high-and-mighty because I do think there's a place for over-the-top violence, and for retributive violence, in storytelling, but I just don't think it should be as a highlight reel, and it shouldn't be a candy-coated reward for rolling good.

It matters, it's noticeable, how you as the GM frame the camera. It's obvious what you care about depending on what details you ask for. And y'know, it's obvious what you're not interested in when you don't ask.

And again, it should not be the only time you ask a player to describe something.

[neverendingford]

.

[squireofgeekdom]

Oh no. Don't let me start plotting out a Leverage Redemption / Moon Knight crossover. I don't need more wips. Help.

[cigarette-room]

attachment styles of tiktok have started going into their pathetics once again

"anxious attachment can only be happy when they're loved by you :(" learn to not depend on others for slimmers of happiness dumbass

"avoidant ppl are human too :(" cool and they should stay away from me

[rupertholmes]

i think if you grew up in my household you would have put a gun to my mom and dad's heads already

[dukeofriven]

Star Trek Discovery literally grouped all its gay character together in the engine room set in the ship's basement and had them interact primarily only with one another. It's not enough to have diverse characters they have to fucking do shit otherwise it is PR window dressing for some progressive headlines on Screenrant.

[miihho]

Can you please write type of guy headcanons for dae ho and gi hun 🥺? Thank you ❤️

THE KIND OF GUY

(squid game edition boys) nsfw

Dae ho / Player 388

— DAE HO IS THE KIND OF GUY who radiates warmth and loyalty, like a golden retriever. When Dae ho saw you effortlessly take down the two bullies harassing someone else, his eyes gleamed with admiration, captivated by your strength and resolve. As the crowd erupted in applause, he couldn’t help but feel an even deeper respect for you. In that moment, you earned not only their admiration but his as well. (His crush on you was developing gradually.)

—He's the kind of guy who blushes whenever you're near, his nerves getting the best of him as he stammers while talking to you, laughing awkwardly. It's all because you're so sweet to him—and to everyone else, too! He can't help but adore that about you.

—He’s the kind of guy who genuinely wants to get to know you better, not just the surface-level details, but the little things that make you who you are. He asks questions with true curiosity, listens intently, and cherishes every story you share. To him, understanding you isn’t just about filling in gaps—it’s about building a connection that goes beyond the ordinary.

—He’s the kind of guy who secretly gives you his food. One day, after returning from your bed, you noticed some milk on it. Curiosity piqued, you wondered who could have left it there, but hey, free milk, right? So you drank it. If he saw you enjoying it, he'd be totally happy inside, his heart warming at the thought of you drinking it. But if you didn’t, and instead gave it to someone else, he'd feel a little sad, pouting as he quietly watched from afar.

— He’s the type of guy who daydreams about you even in his sleep, a soft smile playing on his lips as he imagines taking you out on a date, giving you flowers, and writing you heartfelt letters. He’s kind and sweet, but also shy around you.

— He’s the type of guy who supports you wholeheartedly, cheering you on through every victory. He wishes and prays that you’ll make it through the next game, and when you do, his heart swells with happiness. He desperately wants to run up to you, hug you tightly, and lift you off the ground, spinning you in the air while admiring you. But his nerves hold him back. Instead, he smiles shyly from a distance, watching as others celebrate your success, his joy quietly battling with his anxiety as he longs to be the one to congratulate you.

—He’s the kind of guy who admires you from afar, his heart skipping a beat every time you smile. When you're talking with your teammates, he can't help but stare at you lovingly, a soft smile creeping onto his face. But when Jung Bae notices his smile and asks about it, he panics, nervously brushing it off as nothing. If Jung Bae catches on to who he's looking at, he’d tease him, leaving him blushing and flustered, unable to hide his feelings.

— He’s also the kind of guy who would protect you no matter the cost. One night, when it was time to sleep, he stayed watch over you, ensuring your safety. In the process, he nearly put himself in danger, but managed to take care of the threat. Just as he thought it was over, he noticed someone about to ambush you from behind. Without hesitation, he shouted your name.

“Y/n!” he called out, grabbing your attention. As you turned to face him, he ran toward you, tackling you to the ground just in time to shield you from a knife aimed at your back. He placed a protective hand on your head, his heart pounding in his chest.

After dealing with the person who tried to harm you, he was consumed with worry, his concern for you evident in every glance. His hands trembled as he checked for any injuries, his eyes scanning your body for bruises. When he finally saw you were okay, relief washed over him, and he couldn’t help but smile, saying softly, “I’m glad you’re alright, Y/n.”

— He’s the kind of guy who, when you're speaking to him, finds it hard to hear anything at all. You're simply glowing, and he's so completely lost in admiration for you, smiling without even realizing it. When a strand of your hair falls across your face, he can't help but gently tuck it behind your ear. The moment you look up at him, his heart skips a beat, and he suddenly becomes acutely aware of what he’s done. Flustered, he starts to stutter out a flurry of excuses, his nervousness betraying him. But all you do is laugh softly, calling him "cute." That single, simple word sends his heart into a frantic race, leaving him breathless and unable to shake the warmth spreading through him.

—He’s the kind of guy who would go to any length to protect you, even if it means hurting the people who’ve hurt you. He’ll keep going until his fists bleed, unable to stop because his care for you runs so deep. He doesn’t want to see you in pain, and his love for you pushes him to act without thinking of the consequences. Even when you beg him to stop, he’s torn, unable to hold back the intensity of his emotions. But deep down, you know that right? That he just cares for you more than anything.

—He’s the kind of guy who’ll do whatever it takes to cheer you up when you’re feeling down. When you're crying, he'll be right there, comforting you with soft, reassuring words like, "I’ll be here for you," and "It’s okay, everything’s going to be alright." He’ll pull you into his arms, wrapping you in a warm embrace, rubbing your back gently as he holds you close, offering a quiet strength that makes you feel safe. His presence is enough to ease the weight on your heart, as he promises to always be there for you, no matter what.

—He’s the kind of guy who, when in love, will sneakily try to get closer to you, even if it means "accidentally" bumping into people in the crowd. Just being near you makes him happy, and the slightest touch from you sends a thrill through him. If your eyes meet by accident, he’ll hold your gaze for a second, but then quickly look away, his face turning bright red with embarrassment. When he tries to glance at you again and you catch him, his heart races uncontrollably. He’s sure he even heard you chuckle, and in that moment, he can’t handle it anymore—embarrassed and flustered, he tries to hide in the shadows, wishing he could escape how you make him feel. (You have no idea how much you’re making him nervous.)

—He’s the kind of guy who would shower your face with kisses, making you giggle and laugh, completely captivated by the joy he brings. He’s also the type who’s hopeless at flirting, but he still gives it a shot, despite knowing he’s not great at it. When he catches you staring into his eyes, his confidence crumbles, and he can’t find his words, stammering as his mind goes blank. And when you laugh, a soft, teasing chuckle, it only makes him more flustered, his heart racing as he awkwardly tries to recover, unable to stop the warmth spreading across his face. (ARGEUWHRAHHH)

— When he's in a relationship with you, he's the kind of guy who'll ask for a good luck kiss before every game you play together.

—He’s the kind of guy you’ll wake up to, his comforting voice gently pulling you from your sleep. “Good morning, baby,” he’ll say, his smile already softening his features. “Morning, sunshine,” or “Good morning, sweetheart, did you sleep well?” he’ll ask, his voice warm and full of affection as he watches you slowly wake up.

—He’s the kind of guy who would tenderly kiss the places you’re most insecure about, as if to remind you of how beautiful you truly are. He’s the one who won’t stop kissing you, pulling you back every time you try to pull away, as if he can’t let go of the warmth you bring.

—He’s also the kind of guy who craves you in the purest, most innocent ways. He craves the chance to say goodnight and press a soft kiss to your forehead, to tell you how much he adores you, especially when you feel at your lowest. He doesn’t need anything more or less—just being near you, sharing quiet moments together, is all he could ever want.

—He’s the kind of guy who kisses you slowly, with so much passion that it feels like time itself has paused. To him, every moment matters, and he wants to make it last—pressing his lips softly against yours, savoring the closeness. His eyes remain closed, his hands resting firmly on your waist as he pulls you closer, as if he can’t bear to let go. When he finally pulls away, his gaze locks with yours, filled with love so deep it leaves you breathless. And just when you think it’s over, he leans in to kiss you again.

—He’s the kind of guy who would stay outside your house all night the moment you mentioned your parents weren’t home. You said it in a teasing, seductive tone, hoping he’d catch the hint—but instead, his protective instincts took over completely. Without a second thought, he made it his mission to ensure your safety. The cool breeze and late hours didn’t faze him; his only focus was making sure nothing could harm you.

—He’s the kind of guy who values your comfort above all else, always asking for your consent to ensure you’re at ease. When you overstimulate him, soft whines and gasps escape his lips, his breathing uneven as he tries to handle the intensity. He’s incredibly careful, his fear of hurting you evident in the way he constantly checks in, asking if you’re okay. If you show even the slightest discomfort, he immediately stops, gently comforting you with soothing words and touches. Only when you’re ready does he proceed, moving slowly and tenderly.

—He’s the kind of guy who would be endlessly obedient for you, hanging on your every word just to make you happy. When you call him a “good boy,” his cheeks flush a soft pink, and he can’t help but feel a swell of pride, as if earning your praise is the greatest accomplishment. The way he gets all shy and bashful in response only makes the moment sweeter.

—He’s also the kind of guy who whispers a breathless “please” when you tease him, his voice trembling with both desperation and longing. When you refuse to let him cum, he’ll keep pleading, his tone growing needier, begging you to finally let him release cum since you've been edging him for hours straight.

—He’s the kind of guy who moans a lot and would be needy for you. Like he's breathy and full of unrestrained moans as pleasure overwhelms him. His voice, low and husky, spills out between gasps as he murmurs how good you feel. For example.

In the cramped confines of a public bathroom stall, he tries desperately to not make a sound. His trembling hand rests on your head, fingers tangling in your hair. He was desperately trying to keep quiet, not wanting anyone outside the stall to discover what you were doing. But you decided to tease him, to push him just a little further. Holding his gaze, you slowly ran your tongue over the tip of his cock, maintaining eye contact that had him on the verge of losing all composure.

“Baby, please...” he begged, his tone barely audible but dripping with raw desperation. His hips bucked slightly, seeking more friction, his body betraying how badly he needed release.

You smirked, letting your lips hover over his slick, aching member, your warm breath teasing his already overstimulated skin. “Hm? What’s that?” you teased, maintaining a deliberate slowness. “You’ll have to speak up.”

His head fell back, and a quiet whine escaped him, “I can’t—please, I need it so bad baby, please let me cum... Want you. I want you so bad.” he whimpered, the faint sound of his soft, needy whines filled the stall, his breathing uneven and ragged as he clung to what little composure he had left. His head tilted back against the wall, his lips parted, and his cheeks flushed as he whimpered softly.

His chest rose and fell in shallow breaths, his flushed face and sweat-dampened skin making him look utterly undone. The way he squirmed and whimpered under your control had you tempted to keep teasing him, but his broken whispers and the raw adoration in his eyes made you relent.

"hng...—oh fuck," he gasped, his breath uneven as you gave in at last. "Your mouth feels so good baby, so damn perfect, fuck keep going just like that baby." His praise spilled out uncontrollably, barely coherent as you pushed him closer and closer to the edge.

—Hes also the kind of guy who cries during sex. (Something about men crying is just hgnngjdhe)

“Baby, please stop..” he whimpered, his voice trembling with the weight of his plea. “It’s too much… please, it’s too much.” His hands weakly gripped your waist, trying to stop you, but his body trembled with each movement, and yet there was no escape from the overwhelming pleasure.

“Aww, sweetie,” you cooed, not slowing down. “Just one more round, mkay? I know You can handle it for me."

“N-no, please… it’s too much… I don’t think I can…take it,” he said, his tear-filled eyes locking with yours, his flushed face streaked with the weight of his emotions. The sight of him so vulnerable made your heart ache, and without hesitation, you gently wiped away the tears rolling down his cheeks with the pad of your thumb.

“Aww, don’t cry my love,” you whispered softly, your voice tender as you leaned in, brushing your lips against his forehead. “You’re my good boy, right? You’re doing so well for me. Just a little more, baby.”

“Fine… just one more.” he said, his voice soft and shaky. The way he melted under your touch, still willing to give more despite how overwhelmed he felt. (You made him cum multiple times 🫶🏻)

I decided to do dae ho first cuz he cute(⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠) HAPPY NEW YEAR