#yes trauma is terrific

[cigarette-room]

attachment styles of tiktok have started going into their pathetics once again

"anxious attachment can only be happy when they're loved by you :(" learn to not depend on others for slimmers of happiness dumbass

"avoidant ppl are human too :(" cool and they should stay away from me

[star-anise]

Warnings: Doomerism, climate grief, child death

The thing about having studied history and the psychology of trauma so much is that I can't pretend to myself that the world used to be better at sometime in the past.

Don't get me wrong; things are absolutely terrible right now and need to change, quickly.

But also, they're better than they've ever been for us as a species. It is literally mindblowing how much worse life was for us historically.

Have you seen one of those charts of the human population over time? Have you thought about what it actually means?

Because here's what I see: Humans have always loved things like living to old age, like having sex, like raising babies. Those are things we have always wanted to do. It's not like pre-industrial humans were giant pandas like, "Nah, rather not reproduce as a species. No thanks," and suddenly the Victorians discovered horniness.

Instead, for most of human history, we have died. At terrifically young ages. The few who made it to adulthood could make babies as much as they liked, and then overwhelmingly watched pregnancies miscarry, births end in tragedy, or babies die. Their own lives were constantly at the mercy of a world that could kill them without a second thought. To be human meant to live in a world full of a million little tragedies, all the goddamn time.

And then what happened was: The babies stopped dying. The effects of a lot of things from higher agricultural yields to public health efforts to mass communications made us the master over the diseases and maladies that once had us by the throat.

When we look ahead at catastrophe and terrors, yes, they're bad. But they'd have to be extremely bad indeed to measure up to the number of people who wouldn't even be alive in any other century.

And even the obvious bogeyman then, overpopulation—did you notice what's already happened? On that chart, there's the green measure of total population, but the thin purple line is the rate of population growth. Please notice that it peaked in 1968. It is, in fact, projected as entirely possible that within a century it could go lower than it was twelve thousand years ago, at the end of the last big ice age.

The moment babies started to live longer, people went, "That is too many babies. An absolutely unsustainable number of babies. People are crying out for help because taking care of that many children is completely overwhelming. We need to be able to fix this problem," and they invented birth control and fought to get it legalized. It hit the market in the late 1950s and in less than a decade, it had caught on like wildfire.

To me, this is the absolute opposite of an argument for passivity and political inaction. It's not that everything's going to be okay so why even try. It's that as it turns out, the human capacity to grow and thrive and make the world better is absolutely reality-defying. I don't have faith that all of our problems will be solved, but I do have faith that those problems are all the subject of passionate obsession of millions of people.

And apparently we have a really strong track record at that kind of thing already.

[notroosterbradshaw]

Oh thank you for the compliment :) i'm sure you could do it justice but maybe we could get some generic hangman fluff maybe with them at the beach and he looks out for her by putting sunblock on her and making sure she's eats lunch and stays hydrated and he's teasing her and being very playful with her? Thanks



Okie doke, you get your Hangman on the beach, nonny. I hope you enjoy! Hangman fluff awaits. Dagger Squad future fic.

You liked this new tradition you were able to share with Jake. Each year, around the same time depending on deployments, family commitments, you know the normal life stuff, Dagger Squad came from far and wide to try and get back to the beach for their annual defensive football game and bonfire. Mid-afternoon, the egos start running their mouths about which team will win, and what the stakes are (and the winners and partners always enjoyed the 200 push-ups for the losers and Fanboy's sigh at wishing he never mentioned it).

"Right here, baby?" Jake asked quietly, saying a quiet hello to Bob's partner and burgeoning baby belly and Penny. His warm palm skimming the skin between your ripped jeans shorts and his old Foreigner tee you'd knotted in the back to make work. He nuzzled your neck as he dropped the cooler and whipped off his shirt. He hadn't buttoned it so what difference did it mean as he slid out of his flip flops and put all his gear into a pile and into the beach bag.

Some regiments he just couldn't shake, and neatness was one of them. So was the gym. You would love him endlessly anyway, but he was proud of his body and worked hard on maintaining it as he got older. You were proud he was proud he took such good care of himself and you reaped the benefits.

Ha gave you some space as he unfolded the blanket and flicked it out onto the warm sand as Harvard and Yale approached him and within seconds, they were talking about recent deployments, new kit, and manoeuvres. You were as supportive as you could be with things you'd rather be kept in the dark over. Jake respected that. He knew what he did terrifed you but the boys just understood it better than you ever could. You were absolutely not offended.

You tossed some bits and pieces on the blanket, camera, snacks, and sunscreen. "Ooh," Jake smirked, popping to pick up the sunscreen. "May I?" he asked eagerly.

"May I?" you repeated, biting back your grin. "Aren't you proper today?"

"I would hate for you to be burnt. It's a skin trauma, baby," he protested as you took your sunnies off and glared at him. "And I wanna feel you up. Sue me," he shrugged, his true personality shining through.

"Well, aren't you sweet?" you roughly patted his cheek and the masochist in him loved the lack of caress in your touch. He adjusted his jaw appreciatively. "Okay, Jake. Just to avoid the trauma."

"Your skin is your biggest organ," he reminded you, watching you lift the shirt over your shoulders, licking his lips at the additional skin you'd been keeping under wraps. "Not mine..." he muttered cheekily.

"Jake, knock it off," you laughed as he grinned wide, turning you away from him. You wouldn't complain about the extra touch and affection that lasted a good five minutes, you we melting under his light touch. He kissed the nape of your neck in finality. "I'm good?" you asked quietly.

"You're very, very good," he growled playfully swatting your butt.

You gave him space and sat on the beach blanket, sunnies back on, and Jake plopped your hat on your head. "Thank you."

"Here ya go, sweetheart," Jake handed you your water bottle. "Gettin' hot out here," he grinned. He thrived in hot weather. You smiled against his lips as he laid a gentle kiss on you. "You wanna play?" he could hear the catcalling and jeering for Jake to toss the ball around.

"Would rather put knitting needles in my eyes. Only here to watch the bodies," you joked... kind of.

"You just mean mine, right?" he asked, a mix of unsurity and arrogance as you laughed.

"Yes, Jake. Only yours. Go have fun," you reassured him, taking a seat and a cool slug from your water bottle as he stood over you and squatted to give you another sweet kiss.

"I'm glad you're here, sweetheart. I'm happy as this group gets bigger that you're here with me and you get to meet the people I trust more than my own family."

You cupped his jaw. "They are your family. They are our family, baby. You big softie."

Warm in the sun, but you noticed his ears flush and duck his eyes. "Don't tell anyone or my reputation will be shattered," he teased as you both laughed loudly, and his heart swelled to bring that smile to your beautiful face. "Gimme some lovin' before I go and kick these preppy asses," he smiled against your lips and kissed you deeply. "Another," he demanded. "You're so sweet, I can't handle it," his nose nuzzled against yours.

You knew his friends were mocking him behind his back but you were very confident he didn't change his behaviour around his friends and was comfortable enough to lay some love on you and you were very aware of Penny's stare... and jaw-dropping.

"Jake, Jesus!" you hear Coyote holler.

"Your bestie is pissed," you told Jake as he looked back over his shoulder and gave the team a selective one-finger salute. "Go, before they think it's me keeping you here. And not your that's horribly whipped."

"I'm whipped," he admitted and stretched, this incredible body flexing in all the right places, the golden sun making the beads of sweat his flawless skin glisten. Jesus, he was just so sexy. "I freely admit it."

"Go," you scooted him as his persona changed and Hangman arrived.

"All right, all right, all right, who is ready for some football?" he boomed, drifting over to his friends. It got rough and competitive, sweaty and slippery pretty quickly and you got closer a while later to take some polaroids as the sun set for shits and giggles later tonight to hand out. You had a pleasant afternoon as more friends and family joined you and kept you busy.

As the game was called and losers paid their penance in the form of push-ups, you watched Jake and Rooster put together the bonfire, the part you were most excited for. Yes, Jake Seresin was hotter, if possible, in most light, but the way the flames flickered over his face as you chatted with Natasha and he kept his arm around your shoulder, under the pretence of keeping you warmed before the roaring fire.

"You hungry, babydoll?" he murmured in your ear, the barbecue well and truly cranked and the smells driving your tummy into overdrive. "Beer?"

"Yes to both, please?" you asked and he nodded, kissing you tenderly before leaving you with Natasha. She shook her head in disbelief.

"Who is that guy and what did he do with Bagman?" she asked, astonished. You grinned. "That is a man in love."

[wanderlust-in-my-soul]

Hi, I'm new to BL.

Have watched kiseki, the Japanese drama with the unlucky student, and now Pit Babe. I'm bored with too innocent dramas and I prefer adult story lines with good chemistry. Do you have some favorites from recent years? Would love to look up some titles.

The hornier the better 😉

Uhhh, nice ask! For the answer I made up two categories: the ones with mature storylines and the horny ones. Of course, the two categories overlap in places, but the categorisation was helpful for me for a better horny classification 😅 There are incredibly good series for both groups. And I'm happy to talk about them.

Let's start with the mature ones. And just so you know, this is going to be a very long list 😅

The Mature-List

180 Degree Longitute Passes Through Us

This series had us under its peculiar spell in 2022. I would rate the horny scale at 1/10, the chemistry between the two mains is terrific and the tension cutting, but that's not what this theatrical masterpiece is about. It's about acceptance, grief, guilt and the fact that all of this can either destroy you or make you grow and emerge stronger. Highly recommended.

Ghost Host, Ghost House

The series starts off rather funny and strange and develops over time into a profound story about grief, letting go and healing. It's all somewhat broken up by a love story with incredibly good chemistry and very nice NC scenes. These two can kiss! And yet nothing is easy and grief takes time and only when you have been able to mourn you can heal.

Goodbye, Mother

Nau Van travels back to his home country of Vietnam with his partner. Instead of telling the family that they are a couple, they are caught in the middle of a family drama. The film is very emotional, the characters are well drawn and the story told is touching and well written. If you want to watch something different from the "standard" series, you've definitely come to the right place. Highly recommended, but watch out for triggers such as violence and homophobia.

Happy Ending Romance

I would go out on a limb and say that the gif may be a little misleading here. On a horny scale, the series would be in the lower range. But it's still quite progressive for Korea. The story is very intricate and you have to be careful not to miss anything. An aspiring writer, disappointed and deceived by the publishing world, hides behind his own walls and those built by his partner, a well-known and celebrated author. Until a young publisher sneaks into our writer's life and tries to lure him out of hiding so that the world can experience his genius. Maybe it's the fact that it's about publishing and writing or because I just think the publisher with his fuzzy head and sunshine smile is so cute, but I loved the series!

I Feel You Linger In The Air

Horny? At times, yes. Mature? Definitely. A tragic story set in a past in which homosexuality was frowned upon and the male descendant was expected to take over the business and live his life according to the ideas of the head of the family. And that's where our protagonist Jom, a heartbroken young man from the current century, is thrown in by an accident. He meets Yai, a young man with whom he shares a very special bond. The chemistry between these two is outstanding and the characters are so well written. Such a beautiful series!

Innocent

I must admit, I was a little bit confused when I first started this miniseries. I put it to the side and some time later I started it again. And it finally clicked. It's not an easy series and yet it can give you back your faith in love and trust. Yu Shi has some really bad trauma from his childhood, but chooses to stay witth Wu Zheng and the latter is patient enough for Yu Shi to trust him enough for Noah to accept him in his life.

La Pluie

This series divides opinion. Some find it consistently terrific and well-written and others may have problems with one or two characters. I belong to the latter group, which spoilt the series for me towards the end, but I would still list it here. Because tastes are different and absolutely subjective. You should form your own opinion here. The bottom line is that La Pluie is about soul mates and whether it's something you choose yourself or something that is predetermined. The NC scenes are delicate and appealing and the basic idea behind the series was actually very interesting. It's thought-provoking and packaged in nice pictures.

Life: Love on the line (Director's Cut)

Itou Akira and ishi Yuuki meet on their way to school while walking on the white line. They become friends and fall in love. What follows is a portrayal of their lives as they struggle through high school and college and eventually arrive in adult life. And as in every life, there are obstacles and problems and the older and bigger you get, the bigger the problems become. A film well worth seeing.

Long Time No See

What happens when a contract killer falls in love and the person he's dating isn't necessarily who he claims to be? An excellent film in any case, peppered with a nice story, good NC scenes, great chemistry between the actors, a sister as the best mood enhancer and also very well choreographed violence. In other words, everything you could wish for. And I can't and don't want to say any more, otherwise I could spoil important things and we don't want that.

Moonlight Chicken

EarthMix with a very aesthetic NC scene right in the first episode? Oh yes! But apart from the fact that the two of them really surprised me in this series, Moonlight Chicken simply blew me away with its storytelling, the depth of the individual stories, the well-drawn characters and the emotions that the individual stories evoked in me. The series tells stories about new beginnings, about letting go of the past, about trust, about acceptance, about grief and anger and about finding relationships where you didn't expect to at first and that love can't cure everything, but it can make life a little more bearable.

Old Fashion Cupcake

Old Fashion Cupcakes is a story about adults for adults. It's a comforting series that gives you courage and makes you realise that you're never too old to enjoy life. Besides, the two of them eat the most delicious things and I'm constantly hungry while watching. It is so good to see Nozue open up to Togawa and let the younger one lead him back into life.

Rec

I went into the film without any great expectations. And after the first few minutes, I actually thought that it was just a couple who like to film themselves having s'x. But at some point I was so captivated by the depth of the film. I was really touched at the end and understood why the two of them indulged themselves so excessively and filmed it. I can't put the film on the horny list because it would somehow be out of place there.

The Sign

A current series about two cops who realise that they are connected by past lives. Fate wanted them to fall in love and so they now have to overcome the hurdles that this love entails together. Because in earlier times, this love between Naga and Garuda was forbidden. Yes, there are a few mystical elements built in and they look pretty cool! The two mains have no problems with closeness and the NC scenes are some of the best out there.

Before we move on to the horny list, a few shout-outs for good series, which I didn't want to write about in detail:

Light

Plus and Minus

Manner of Death

Step by Step

Jack o'Frost

My Tooth Your Love

Papa & Daddy

Tokyo in April is...

My Personal Weatherman

The New Employee

To My Star (1+2)

Triage

Our Dating Sim

We are now leaving the mature series and moving on to the horny list (mostly with serious topics).

The Horny-List

Bed Friend

In addition to really good NC scenes, there is a lot of trauma shown. It's not quite my cup of tea, but many others find the series really good. I'll leave my personal opinion out of it and just say that this series is pretty high up on the horny list. However, you should pay attention to the trigger warnings and there are quite a few of them, especially when it comes to SA in every conceivable form.

Cutie Pie

I was pretty hyped about the show until the seventh episode or so. God was I obsessed. After that, the magic that Zee had on me left me a bit. The story really isn't the best, but I think most people didn't necessarily watch the show for the story. The two of them have really good chemistry and that kitchen scene still makes me weak in the knees sometimes. Definitely up there on the horny scale.

Dangerous Dr'gs Of S'x

There is no gif for this. Even if I found it here, I wouldn't insert it. Japan has two sides, either innocent and sweet or hardcore (well not really, but sometimes you can get this image). This one is hardcore. It's not necessarily horny and there's even a pretty heavy story behind it, but this film is riddled with s'x… Not necessarily consensual, at the beginning definitely not consensual. If you're over 18 and can take it, check it out. The film is not bad at all. It's just a bit different…

KinnPorsche

Praised by many, but viewed by me with a somewhat more critical eye, I would still recommend the series if you don't have a problem with dub-con or torture or violence in general. The mafia story is softened somewhat by the love scenes and the slapstick humour is not for everyone. It's a lot about daddy issues and whether you like the characters or not is something you have to decide for yourself.

Love In The Air

I have my issues with the show, but the more I watch and the more I try not to be quite so critical of toxic and destructive phatasies, the more these issues leave me unconcerned. Will I ever watch the series again? Nope. Can I understand why so many people love this show? Of course I do. That's why I don't want to withhold it from you here. LITA has a total of two stories to tell about two friends and their love life. The second story is definitely not an easy watch. There is trauma and SA and some stalking shit and it really can hit you. But for both parts, the NC scenes are, hands down, some of the best ever.

The End Of The World With You | Love At The End Of The World | Till The World Ends

We would have a Japanese doomsday scenario, a Filipino one and a Thai one. I'll summarise it under one point. All three are very explicit in their depiction of intimacy. All three are somewhat confusing story-wise. I had fun watching all three. In contrast to Love at the end of the world, The end of the world with you and Till the world ends are definitely still quite restrained.

Only Friends

The GmmTV actors have taken over and caused a huge mess. A group of friends want to open a hostel as a college project. Whilst in the series this somehow slips into the background at some point and really only served as a location for flings and water adventures, people get to know and love each other and some fall back on old friends to make new loves jealous. Somehow everyone was trying to hurt someone else at one point. I have found a new icon thanks to this series and have cheered for Boston and Boeing in their many endeavours. If I had to say one sentence about the show it would be that it's pure chaos, but damn Boston and Nick... hot.

Playboyy

Okay. I know the majority don't like this series, but I think it's terrific. I'm always amazed at how artistic the episodes are. How each couple has their own special setting, so you know who's about to appear. Yes, there is a lot of s'x, not necessarily horny s'x. It's often used for storytelling or as a catalyst for what happens next. And Prom and Nont are my little favourites. I find Prom only half as attractive without glasses, unless he swaps glasses for a blindfold… Still, on a horny scale it is up there.

Pornographer aka The Novelist

A student runs over a writer on his bike, breaking the writer's arm. As compensation (and because he can't pay damages), the student agrees to write down the writer's story he was working on. It is pornographic literature and while the writer dictates to the student, a kind of relationship develops between the two. This is not a romantic relationship in the classic sense, it's not about a cautious approach and getting to know each other, but about the psychology of lust and manipulation, about loneliness and the desire for more. It's pretty deep shit and I can only recommend it. But always with the warning that it's not going to be an easy watch.

Sweet Curse

Here's a short film for a change. I love short films! And Sweet Curse is one of them. Min-woo is jealous of one of his closest friends Ha-joon and wants to curse him. Too bad when the haunting spirit falls in love with the handsome and kind-hearted Ha-joon. When Korea has the freedom, they go all out. There are some short films that you wouldn't have expected from South Korea. And this here it's quite high up on the horny scale.

Wedding Plan

God, I love this series. No matter what anyone says, it was so good to watch these two fall in love and slowly let their walls down until the clothes followed. A very amusing series in which both mains know what they want and, above all, that they want each other, even if the planned wedding of one of them got in the way a little beforehand.

Why R U

The series may lack a bit of story, but if you want it horny, the Fighter x Tutor storyline is definitely for you. You have to hand it to Zee, the man can kiss. It's not the most adult series, set in college, but the topics are sometimes a bit heavier and the NC scenes are definitely worth watching.

I hope I haven't bored you and that there's something suitable for you in this small selection 😊 It was so fun making this list! Thank you again for this ask!

[moonstruck-poet]

Survive pt.3

Pairing - Carlos Sainz x wife!reader

Summary - Because of your job as a crime officer, a particularly dangerous mission has both you and your husband on the edge.

Warnings - breakdown, trauma, mentions of harassment, blood, injury

"No absolutely not," Elijah shook his head firmly, "No way in hell am I gonna let you drive yourself home. You can barely stand for Christ's sake!"

"Elijah," you began but were cut off immediately.

"He's right," Stephen crossed his arms, shooting you a look of finality and you sighed, throwing your hands up in the air in defeat. "Good work then team," he said after a moment's pause.

Chris snorted, grabbing his coat and pulling it on, not even wincing as the fabric grazed against his bandaged wounds, "That's an understatement".

"I'll have you know that your names have been given to this year's award ceremony".

"Holy shit," Jess voiced everyone's feelings, her eyes wide with excitement. The award ceremony hosted by the country every year was a dream for the militant force like you. Earning the badges given was always the biggest source of pride.

"Should we go then?" Elijah asked making you roll your eyes. You two were going home together in your car while Jess and Chris were in hers, her and Eli being the less harmed ones.

"Bye everyone, take a well deserved break," you muttered, grabbing Jess and pulling her into a tight hug, both of you grimacing at the pain which only amplified as the boys joined it.

"Goodbye Cap, looking forward to the team dinner," Chris grinned, throwing you a wink and you laughed, accepting his request.

The pair of you walked downstairs to the parking lot, your steps guided and slow, unlike your usual confident, quick strides.

"Here," you held your key to him, watching as his mouth opened in slight shock.

"You sure?" He bit his lip, trying his hardest to not snatch the key of his favourite car.

"Yes. You're dropping me off, that's the least I can do for you," you replied, smiling at the way his face lit up like a child's as he ran towards the door, getting into your sleek black Aston Martin. "Take it home, keep it for a day or two. I'll pick it up".

His lips could've split his face with how wide they seemed to stretch. Buckling in the seatbelts, you began the drive home.

It didn't take long considering it was quite late and you didn't live far off. Opening the door you cautiously got out, groaning as your extremely sore legs bore your body weight making you lean against the car.

"Should I come up?" He asked, getting out too but certainly not wanting to overstep any boundaries at all. "You'll be fine by yourself?"

You nodded, "You've helped me enough already, 'lijah. Go home now, your mum must be waiting".

He pursed his lips before gently giving you a side hug, his eyes tearing up a little as the terrific day came rushing through.

"I know," you rubbed his shoulder, "It's okay".

He exhaled heavily before drying his eyes and giving you a smile, "Also can you congratulate Carlos on his podium? The race was simply amazing," he slightly bounced on his feet, his inner Ferrari fanboy peeking out making you grin.

Bidding your crazy but loving friend goodbye, at long last you walked towards the elevator, your strength slowly deteriorating but your determination was strong. The lift seemed teasingly slow, as though wanting to keep you away from your husband for as long as it could.

Alas it stopped at your floor and you stepped out immediately, almost jogging to the door and ringing the bell, not bothering to find the keys because you knew he was waiting on the other side.

A second later the door opened, revealing your Carlos and you didn't even have the time to properly look at him before you were whisked in his embrace. His arms wrapped around your waist tightly as he held you close, breathing heavily and unconsciously gripping you tighter. His face was pressed into your neck, and for the love of god the love that emitted from him made all the pain fade away.

He simply held you there, your hands turning into fists as you grasped his shirt, finally inhaling his soft scent and as though your body had had enough, as though a switch had flickered on, tears fell down your cheeks. Silent at first, before transforming into sobs that tugged at your husband's heartstrings. Hu pulled away from your shoulder, allowing you to copy his position as your arms wound around his neck, face buried in the crook as you cried.

Every horrible scene that happened today was running through your mind like a movie, and relieving it again made the horrors even more real.

"C- Carlos," you stuttered before letting out another shout, filled with such an ounce of pain that tears were quick to well up in his eyes.

"I'm here, my love," he whispered desperately, clutching at your body, pulling you impossibly closer as he provided you with comfort that seemed useless. "You're home, you're safe now. Everything's okay, cariño". [Darling]

Cariño.

Cariño.

The nickname just somehow poked at your emotions again, reminding you of the moment when you had been lying helplessly on the ground, eyes almost closing as you were being beaten mercilessly. Your mind had gone numb, the only thing echoing in it was your husband's soft, gentle voice as he called you his darling, his cariño.

"I- I'm sorry- I can't- I can't breathe-" you managed in between the cries, trying your best to take in the air but you didn't want to lift your head up, afraid that you would be transported back to that hotel.

"Amor," he said softly, shutting his eyes furiously to stop the incoming emotions because right now he had to be strong. For you. You had been through hell and back, emerging victorious with a smile of confidence. But now? You were merely a human, having had enough for a day. It was his priority, you were his priority. He must be strong. For you. [Love]

He controlled himself, driven by the spirit to bring you back to him. With one hand still wrapped protectively around you, he closed the door with the other. Then he slightly lifted you up, walking backwards to the couch and settling you down, but making sure to not distance him at all.

Knowing that you needed him more than anything, anyone else in the world. And he was going to be there for every second of it.

"I'm here, love. I'm not going anywhere," he reassured you but felt the way your hands pulled him closer and he swallowed, placing his palm on the back of your head, trying to soothe you.

"It's okay," he murmured in your ear. His deep, low yet tender voice steadily penetrating through the darkness plaguing your mind. "You're okay, mi corazõn. Everything is okay". [My heart]

"Shhh," he repeated, now starting to rub slow circles on your back as you quietened down, not speaking anything and instead turning your head sideways, allowing your nose to inhale some air.

You didn't know how long you stayed in the position, but your legs had started throbbing, a dull ache spreading through your body, lighting every part but you ignored it, as it was all physical.

Right now, your mental health was way more important and you owed it to yourself to pay attention and give it what it needs.

You had calmed down completely, just enjoying the feel of him as you played with the ends of his hair when a thought struck your mind. Carlos hadn't even seen you properly, even though your wounds were bandaged, your bloodied shirt was enough to give him a scare. You grimaced at that, cursing yourself for not having brought a change of clothes. You had your jacket over it but that didn't actually make it any better, as the sleeves were ripped.

So praying that you wouldn't give him another heart attack, you deliberately pulled away, before giving yourself the chance to look at his face that you had been deprived of for so long.

His eyes met yours, and as they scanned every cut on your face itself, they widened. Worry immediately seeping through those brown irises as he looked at you incredulously.

"Oh my god," was all he managed to utter as he took your hands, his trembling after noticing every cut and bruise that marked your body. Then his gaze fell down to your once light blue shirt which had stained crimson and he felt his stomach churn.

"What the hell-" he couldn't bring himself to finish the sentence as his eyes moved around wildly. His heart burning with pain, discomfort, rage, on seeing the condition of his wife.

"Qué te hicieron, mi amor..." He trailed off, a lone tear falling down his cheek as his heart ached uncontrollably. An everlasting torment infecting his soul as he looked at you, a sight that he would never be able to forget. [What did they do to you, my love]

"Hey," you called him, hesitatingly raising your hands to cup his face, and his eyes fluttered close, leaning against your touch as though it were muscle memory for him.

"Sé que esto pinta mal, créeme. Pero te prometo que saldré de esta". [I know this looks bad, believe me. But I promise you that I will get out of this]

"No estoy preocupado por eso," he chuckled, his voice hollow as he looked at you, your pain being reflected in his expressions. "I know you'll get through this, you always do. But I can't help the pain that I feel on seeing you hurt, mi vida". [I'm not worried about that] [My life]

You could only give him a sad smile as he covered your hand with his, not failing to notice the way your face had contorted ever the slightest.

He gently pulled them away from his face, before turning them around and seeing your bruised knuckles. Some were still raw while others had turned dark blue.

"You get a small paper cut and I can feel my pulse racing like anything. Every time you tell me you're going to visit a site, or- or have a small mission my insides freeze with fear. I feel so afraid over the smallest of stuff," he sighed, ghosting his thumb over your skin.

"I'm so sorry," you apologised sincerely, knowing how bad it must be for him to constantly worry about your well being. You understood it all too well, as you always held your breath during his races, not taking your eyes off of the track, worried that something bad may happen if you did so.

You couldn't imagine him being alone, farther away from you, not even knowing your exact location. The only thing in his hands was to pray.

"No no," he shook his head and now smiled more genuinely. "I knew what I was signing up for, but I actually didn't have a choice as you had to be my only best friend since childhood".

You laughed at that, "Having second thoughts now are we, Sainz?"

"Never," he muttered, giving you a crooked smile and you leaned closer, snaking your arms around his neck to bring him in a kiss and he sighed at the feeling, not wasting any time as he joined you, hands on your waist as he kissed back. Love, worry, longing were the major emotions you felt from his side as he closed the gap again before moving back, resting his forehead to yours.

"Oh Dios, te quiero tanto," he spoke, eyes opening as he placed a lingering kiss on your forehead and your heart swelled at his action. [Oh God, I love you so much]

There was just something about these types of kisses that made you feel so, so loved. Maybe it was because you felt secure, or the feeling on his soft lips against your temple, or maybe it was the way he looked at you after, his eyes tender but burning with a flame of protectiveness.

"I should take a shower," you mumbled, "And I'm also very hungry".

"I knew you would be, I've made your favourite. Come on up you get," he stood up making you frown at the warmth disappearing but you followed his lead, momentarily forgetting about your heavy injuries and as a result you stumbled a little, his arm around you instinctively making you smile.

He helped you enter the bathroom, taking off your jacket for you and removing fresh, comfortable clothes from your wardrobe. The shower felt incredible after the long day, the warm water rinsing off every bit of dirt and grime that had remained on your body.

And you walked into the kitchen, wearing his hoodie and sweatpants, the delicious smell of pasta greeting you as you entered.

Dinner was a rather interesting affair as you filled Carlos in with the incidents of today. Trying not to laugh on seeing his expressions that changed every second as you told him the story.

"I'm glad the others are safe too," he frowned, having heard everything at last. "Also happy that you managed to get all the children out".

"They were so happy, you know," you told him, your heart clenching as he took your hand in his. "So happy to get back to their parents".

He smiled, though feeling your sadness, "I can't even imagine what they had gone through".

A hiss from you broke his thoughts as you rubbed your shin that had bumped against the table in your eagerness to stand up.

"Love," he scolded you, going over to your side and helping you out. "You have to be more careful".

"I can do it by myself," you grumbled, but obliged anyways as he shot you the look, similar to the one your mother used to give you when you refused to listen to her.

"Let's patch you up," he brought you to the bedroom and you laid down, a satisfactory groan escaping your lips as your body rested. But your back had also bore many beatings, which were now aching.

"Can you take it off?" He asked, tugging at your hoodie as you crossed your arms to lift it over your head, your lips turning downwards as your muscles throbbed harshly.

"Hey wait- I'll do it," he stepped it rather gladly, cautiously pulling it off of you and on seeing your torso, his heart had once again broken into tiny fragments.

Your stomach was spotted with yellowing bruises, and he forced himself to swallow the lump hurting his throat.

"Oh baby," he said sadly, seeing the long, red scar on your neck. Involuntarily his fingers touched the area around it, caressing the skin. His touch travelled down to your collar bone, where again lay a long, but slightly deeper scar.

"How did you handle so much," he asked, not expecting an answer but he was too overwhelmed on seeing the marks on your body.

"I'm just a little strong I guess," you replied anyways, squeezing his hand as it circled the gashes on your arms, applying the antiseptic cream.

"I wish I could've hit that bastard myself," he growled, anger taking over his features as his emotions heightened.

"He's dead, Carlos. He got what he deserved".

"He harassed you!" Carlos said, clearly agitated and grabbed his hair in frustration. Tears threatened to fall and he offered no resistance, shutting his eyes as he cried silently. Internally feeling like a failure, a failure of a husband who couldn't even protect his wife. Logically he knew that there was absolutely nothing that was in his hands, but his emotional part had his soul trapped in guilt.

"Darling," you placed your hand on his shoulder, while the other gently removed his hands tangled in his own hair. You took his face in your palms, wiping away his moist cheeks and shooting him with a small smile. "I know it hurts you to see me like this, believe me I do. But you should know that there's nothing you could've done!"

"I just feel bad," he frowned, his cheeks puffing out a little as he pouted making you chuckle softly as you caressed his cheekbones.

"Carlitos, Sí, no estuviste durante la misión, pero sé que estarás ahí para ayudarme a recuperarme". [Carlitos, Yes, you weren't there during the mission, but I know you'll be there to help me recover.]

"Siempre, lo prometo. Te ayudaré en todo, mi amor. Por siempre y para siempre". [Always, I promise. I will help you in everything, my love. Forever and always]

And you couldn't help but smile again at the love and adoration visible in his eyes, feeling your heart starting to fall for this man. Again.

"Y eso significa mucho para mí," you grinned softly, pulling him by his shirt for a deep, passionate kiss and he obliged. "Te amo, mi corazón". [And that means a lot to me] [I love you, my heart]

"Yo también te quiero, mi vida," he replied, sealing his sentence with another gentle, reassuring peck on your forehead, which then travelled to your nose, then to both of your cheeks making you start giggling a little as his stubble started tickling you. [I love you too, my life]

He didn't stop, feeling nothing but encouraged at the sounds of your laughs as he continued his tender assault on your neck, being mindful of the scars and you arched back, your fingers tangling up in his soft hair, something you could never get enough of.

"I'll always be your number one supporter, sweetheart," he kissed your knuckles, his touch as light as a feather.

"Not more than me being your number one fan," you retorted, gesturing towards the mini model of his racing car that rested proudly on the side table.

====================================

After a week, your body had begun healing quite well. The deeper injuries closing up while the smaller ones already starting to fade away. You were sitting in the passenger seat, donned in a black shirt paired with blue jeans and staring outside the window.

Carlos was your driver tonight, well almost every time since you came back from the mission. He had used his break to his maximum advantage, always helping you in every way possible.

You two were on the way to your office, they had called you to collect some documents and had also informed you about something important that was to be given. And since you had been out already, Carlos agreed to tag along.

"I've always wanted to see your office," he said, pulling up in the parking lot and getting out, holding a finger up, signalling you to not move and you rolled your eyes though a smile broke free. He ran over to your side before opening your door and offering you his hand, his eyes full of nothing but pure devotion as he intertwined your fingers.

"It's not that interesting," you laughed, knowing he was probably thinking about what they always showed in the movies.

But he didn't take no for an answer and followed your lead, a curious expression on his face which transformed into delight as you entered the building and some of the officers immediately saluted you. You nodded, accepting their respects as their senior officer walked past them.

"Morning ma'am!" A group of new interns greeted you excitedly, almost fangirling as you wished them back and smiled.

"I think I have competition," Carlos murmured in your ear with a teasing smirk, nodding to all of the admirers you had.

You merely shook your head at his antics and led him to your cabin. He let go of your hand and did a slow spin, taking everything in. The interior was quite simple and comfortable, various frames lining the walls, some being photos and others being certificates, quotes. He studied the pictures carefully, they ranged from your rookie years to your current position. What caught his eye was the frame lying on your desk, it was a gorgeous picture of you two smiling at the camera.

"Like it?"

He nodded enthusiastically, about to say something when a knock was heard. The door opened to reveal a flustered Elijah, who turned even redder on seeing Carlos Sainz standing feet away, Jess poked her head under his and Chris was seen above him.

You chuckled at their shenanigans, the three musketeers as you called them. "I doubt you've ever asked my permission for coming in, until now," you raised a suspicious eyebrow.

Chris scoffed, "We've always knocked".

"Carlos, this is my team that I was telling you about. That's Chris, Jess, and Elijah".

The second you took his name and Carlos' attention turned to him, Elijah could almost feel an incoming heart attack. He smiled nervously, his hand on his neck as he tried to not do anything stupid.

"Elijah here is quite the fan," you added making the said person shoot you a small glare.

"Oh are you?" Carlos asked genuinely, stepping closer to shake his hand and his awful team snickered at the way he seemed to hyperventilate. "That's great".

"T- Thank you," he fumbled, staring at someone whom he had watched on nothing but a screen for years, and that someone had just shaken his hand. "I love you so much," he blurted out, regretting his entire existence instantly.

The room burst into laughter and cackles from Chris as Carlos smiled good naturedly, pulling the already flustered boy in a side hug.

"Alright alright you'll make his heart stop," Elijah's best friend grinned teasingly, already having recorded this moment.

"Planning to steal my husband are you, Eli?" You questioned playfully, crossing your arms as he shook his head frantically.

"Of course not," he muttered, flushing pink again.

"Come on then, sir is calling us all," Jess reminded them all when the chuckles ceased. "Oh it's okay if you come too, there's nothing confidential," she addressed Carlos who was about to sit on the chair.

You looked at his expectantly and he nodded, having the intense urge to place his arm around your waist but he resisted, knowing this was your workplace, a lot more strict and formal than the rest. So he settled on being close to you so your fingers kept on brushing against each other.

"Ah there you are," Stephen brightened visibly as you walked in followed by the rest, the four of you gave him a proper salute while Carlos bowed, a hint of nervousness on his face.

"And this must be your husband," he looked at you for confirmation before shaking hands, "Good to see you, Mr Sainz".

"The pleasure is all mine, sir," he replied respectfully, keeping his head bowed as they shook hands.

"Really sorry to have called you on such short notice, but I felt it appropriate to hand this to you in person instead of on the phone," he said and you furrowed your eyebrows as he handed you an envelope.

You opened it, scanning the letter and a smile quickly spread across your face. "We've been invited??"

"Yess!" Jess nodded in excitement, "Which means we have a potential chance to earn a badge".

"You all deserve it," Stephen said, pride filling his chest as he looked at the future standing before him. "Make sure to turn up in your best uniform".

"Thank you," you muttered, nothing but gratitude in your voice as he nodded kindly and you bid your team goodbye before exiting the office.

"What's this about?" Carlos asked you curiously as you walked in the hallway.

"It's an award ceremony that the government holds every year, to award deserving candidates from the special forces," you explained.

"And you are nominated?"

"So it seems".

"This is great," he whispered, looking at you with newfound admiration. His arm was quick to rest on your hip, the gesture casual but also loving and he kissed the side of your head.

You leaned into him, always finding solace in his touch. Your husband was someone who could make your heart both race and calm down.

You were talking, when suddenly you heard the pattering of feet as they ran and someone had hugged your waist. You both halted as you looked down, seeing a familiar, young face as she grinned at you widely, her eyes shining so bright.

"Ana," you smiled, letting out a laugh before wrapping your arms around her too while Carlos watched the exchange with slight confusion but a grin was seen on his face too.

"See I saw you again!" She giggled happily and you kneeled down, nodding at her happiness as you brushed stray hair from her forehead.

"You did huh," you responded before picking her up and twirling her around, your insides swelling with joy on hearing her loud shouts.

When you stopped she rested her head on your shoulder, feeling slightly dizzy when her eyes spotted Carlos standing beside you.

"Who's he?" She questioned immediately, her curious eyes looking at his face.

"His name is Carlos," you answered and he stepped closer with a warm smile, "He's my husband".

Ana's eyes widened as her head danced back and forth between you two. "You're married!" She exclaimed, giggling again as another thought struck her. "He looks handsome".

You smirked at that, looking at him to see a bashful grin on his face as he pushed his hair back, "Am I?"

"Yes," she said solemnly. "You look like Prince Eric from Ariel".

He laughed at that, taking her small hand in his and pressing a kiss on it, "And how are you this morning, princess?" He asked with a posh accent.

Ana giggled uncontrollably at the nickname and threw her hands around his neck, hugging him tightly from your arms before pulling back.

Your heart warmed up seeing the wholesome interaction, Carlos had always been good with kids which made your thoughts run wild sometimes.

Ana's parents greeted you too, thanking you non-stop for your help. Her mother almost cried as she kept on expressing her gratitude, and that they owed you forever.

You were both now outside, on the way to your car when your husband grabbed your waist and pulled you against him, his lips twitching slightly as he held you close, relishing in the feeling.

While you too mirrored his actions, your eyes roaming from his fluffy hair, to those gorgeous melted honey eyes, to the curve of his long, sculpted nose and down to his beautiful lips. He truly was a sight to behold.

"¿He mencionado lo mucho que te quiero?" He asked, trying to be serious but of course he couldn't. [Have I mentioned how much I love you]

"Probablemente lo mencionaste una o dos veces," you played along, pretending to think deeply. "Pero me gustaría que me lo recordaran otra vez". [You probably mentioned it once or twice] [But I wish you would remind me again]

His mouth stretched wide as he was but centimetres away from you, looking deep in your eyes as he joined your lips before answering, "Te amo profundamente, cariño". [I love you deeply, darling]

You felt the rush of your pulse before it steadied underneath his comforting gaze, "Te quiero, mi corazõn. Más que a nadie en el mundo". [I love you, my heart. More than anyone in the world]

====================================

Part 1

Part 2

We're finally done with the mini series! Thank you so much for all the love, everybody <33

[rise-my-angel]

'BuT NeD ThInKs PoSiTiVeLy Of RhAeGaR' Ned thinks of Rhaegar ONCE that he was a man unlikely to visit brothels. From this we can conclude that he was not a sex pest like Robert. How on earth does this inform of Ned's personal feelings though? Ned is comparing Robert and Rhaegar and thinking in factual terms. Its similar to how he thinks of Aerys killing his father and brother but not once does he express hatred against Aerys. But we do know what he would think of Aerys, its common sense. Even if we go by 'Lyanna was willing' idea, Lyanna still died because Rhaegar impregnated her at 15 and then left her imprisoned without proper healthcare. She died because of Rhaegar's actions. People who use this argument are usually those who don't understand Ned's character very clearly, he is a man who while suffering from ptsd, suppresses painful emotions and feelings.

Ned Stark is SO MUCH more complicated then those people will ever give him credit for. They are desperate to paint him as so easily black and white when he is the most "living in the grey area" man to literally ever exist. They also refuse to give any context to that scene.

Because it isn't really Rhaegar Neds thinking about in that scene, it's Jon. Ned is in a brothel looking for one of Roberts many bastards, and connecting Robert to Lyanna to Rhaegar he wonders if Rhaegar was like Robert in that sense. The question Ned is really asking, is if there is a possibility that there are more people out there like Jon. He's asking himself if he's sure that Jon is alone and comes to the conclusion that yes, Rhaegar probably didn't sleep around like Robert and this comes to the conclusion that the only secret child of Rhaegars is in fact, still Jon.

But it's like you said, Ned strongly buries his true emotions deep down. He is a very traumatized man who has never truly gotten past the point in his life where his sister died in front of him. Ned is still trapped in that room and the haunting smell of blood and roses. Ned was described as catatonic for a while after Lyanna died and he never truly came out of that emotionally. He keeps everything inside very deeply and is utterly haunted with that upcoming trauma once the main story starts. His every action in Kings Landing is rooted in that trauma of what happened to Lyanna and the deep fear of what will happen to Jon. Everything he does in Kings Landing is about that, Neds priority in the story, is Jon. That dicates everything he does in the main plot because he is deeply traumatized and terrifed of what will happen to his son.

There's even a strong argument to be made that had Robert never come to Winterfell and involved the Starks directly within the dealings of the Crown, that Ned wouldn't ever have let Jon join the Nights Watch. That agree or disagree with letting him, that a big reason he allows it, is out of the fear of Jon being anywhere near the people Ned's spent Jons entire life protecting him from. That Ned would rather Jon be in the Nights Watch, then hunted down and murdered by Robert.

Ned the entire story and half of his life has been burying very deeply rooted trauma of what happened to Lyanna, and has been motivated that same time to put Jon as one of his biggest priorities right up until his death. But because he keeps this all buried deep inside, its easy for people, mostly Rhaegar defenders, to paint him as black and white, a bad father, a mindless soldier with no autonomy outside of Robert, a selfish man.

Ned Stark is one of the best written characters in recent literature, theres a reason he's still remembered and talked about to this day, and it is certainly not because he is as black and white as Rhaegar stans desperately try to slander him as.

[bpdbeehive]

I recently watched the game because I had to see if it was as bad as everyone says and it actually isn't? Yes, these two are fucking weird and uncomfortable to watch be touchy feely and I don't support that and if you ship incest block me.

But I really want to dive into their psyche, Ashley is so fucking BPD coded (I have BPD) and Andrew is UNFORTUNATELY her FP, she's so jealous of anyone who tries to get close because he's always been all she's had, she says she should kill herself when upset with him, she is terrifed of him not liking her and accuses him of it irrationally multiple times and her mood swings are drastic to the point anger goes to tears to happy in minutes.

And Andrew could have possible DID (I have DID) that Ashley finally noticed at the end of one route where she's hoping for the one that's more anxious yet loving, the other is unfeeling and cold and doesn't put up with her shit. On the other hand, it could just be symbolic of how his innocence died the second he was partly responsible for taking a life and he has to completely shut off to deal with the trauma that happens later on. He's definitely depressed too with his uncaring nature with some PTSD as shown with his repressed memories.

The reason for their codependency and unhealthy relationship blurring the lines between family love and romantic love is their parent's fault, Ashley was excluded by everyone but Andy, and Andy was expected to raise her himself as a child, they shared a room their entire lives, and they were abandoned, they've always been all each other have and Ashley belittles him into thinking she's the only one who really loves him as a coping mechanism for her fear of abandonment. These parents saw a child with physiological issues that make empathy hard and gave her up to a kid to fix, they feel like no one cares but each other.

Incest is disgusting though, I'm just saying they're fascinating to me and every single time I mention them I'm going to clarify there's more to this game and I don't associate with that side of the fandom

[thevindicativevordan]

it’s a shame that after Tom King’s Strange Adventures clearly positioned Mr Terrific as the clear avenue character for DC to do modern sci-fi adventure stories, they still never choose to do anything fun or worthwhile with the guy outside of the short lived Terrifics and lame ass JSA stuff. he’s SEVERELY underutilized and i’d love for Waid to have him be a big part of the new JL run. personal thoughts on the guy?

I love Holt because he’s such an American character.

We Americans love our trash talkers. Oh we publicly make a big deal about the need to stay humble and respectful, but don’t believe that for a second. Look at our heroes and icons! Only thing Americans really respect are winners, and we love winners who can walk their talk. Michael Holt comes from the proud tradition of American heroes who can do just that. He’s incredibly smart and he knows it. He’s fantastically competent and he shows it. He’s Mr. Terrific! - able to cut through the bullshit with his mind or his fists as need be. And he doesn’t take crap from anyone.

Like Hal Jordan or Barry Allen before him, Holt might not be the first character to hold the mantle, but he’s the one who made folks respect the name. No offense to the Terry Sloane fans out there (if you exist), but there’s a reason Holt is the only Mr. Terrific who ever gets used. He’s simply cooler than his predecessor in every way. His backstory, his design, his attitude, his powers, despite sharing the name I even hesitate to call Holt a “legacy character”. He’s more in the vein of a Hal Jordan, taking the title but reinventing the concept, than a Barry Allen or Wally West who is steadfastly trying to live up to a pre-existing ideal. How many people even know that Holt wasn’t the first Mr. Terrific? Who would care if they did know?

Holt is living in the timeline that John Stewart fans wish they had gotten after the DCAU. Far as the general public is concerned, there’s only one Mr. Terrific. Which I would be happy to see DC continue to act as if that were the case, I know this rubs against how most people view legacy as central to DC, but I don’t believe that any story about Holt “struggling” to live up to his predecessor’s example will ring true. Besides, it’s unnecessary.

Mr. Terrific already has plenty of baggage on his own to deal with. His unresolved trauma over the deaths of his wife and their baby, his mentally disabled older brother dying young also, his need to excel at anything he sets his mind to, his atheism in a universe where the gods are not only real but actively involved, the all but stated fact that he might be smarter than Bruce and Lex, but put himself in third place to not attract attention, and leading his own team the Terrifics. Returning to OP’s statement, I too bemoan Holt being trapped on the Boomer Squadron. Yes it’s expected given Geoff Johns created him to be part of the team in the first place, but like Wally on the Titans, Holt has outgrown his original team.

Making him the leader of his own team simply makes sense. Unlike most of his peers you can justify all sorts of adventures for Holt on the basis of SCIENCE! or simple adventure-seeking. The JL are not wont to taking field trips but the Terrifics have no problem doing that. Holt became an Olympian athlete simply to prove he could. He’s exactly the type of character who can easily justify a trip to space or through time simply because he felt like doing that. DC made it explicit but Holt always has been the natural counterpart to Marvel’s Reed Richards.

DC struggles to create teams that don’t languish in the shadow of the League. No matter the protestations to the contrary the Titans and the JSA absolutely are stuck in said shadow. Mr. Terrific and his Terrifics however don’t have to be. Market them as explorers and adventurers rather than crime fighters and they would have a niche that isn’t covered by anyone else at DC, with a mandate to go anywhere and do anything.

[callsignbaphomet]

I saw a Tag talking about how you sometimes think about having Jelani heal from their trauma but you'd rather keep them in the space they are in.

I just wanted to say you've done a terrific job showing how slow the healing process is with all your boys! Even if he never fully heals he has had such a fun (thats a word for it) journey and seeing how he and Angelus balance each other out and keep each other grounded is such a great way for the characters to experience the horros but still have a place to go and repair themselves.

<333

Okay first of all, thank you! OMG that is some serious high praise especially when it comes from someone as important to me as you are. Holy shit! Totally flattered right now! I saw this ask way, way earlier but had to get some cleaning done and was on standby due to car problems but I wanted to get this answered and if you don't mind me saying I'm gonna word vomit the heck out of this with so many details.

Read more's there for length.

I'm always worried that I misrepresent some things when it comes to trauma responses and after effects of it. I do so much research and add in my own experiences with stuff. I go over it over and over and over and read so much on the subject that it tends to get to me sometimes but I want this to feel as real as it feels for me.

Also, in the case of their Fallout counterparts, I didn't want a happy-go-lucky AU, I have so many others for that but mainly the Skyrim AU for it. When I revamped it (Fallout AU) I was determined for it to be the AU I come back to when I'm not doing good because as sick as it sounds it's my balm. Those three shorts I wrote are just messed the fuck up but I was going through some shit and I needed to hurt myself in a healthier way if that makes sense.

Also confession time: most of what happened in the Fallout AU is stuff taken from Oracle. Things I've only ever hinted at but was never blatant about. So yeah, long winded way of saying that what happened to Jelani in Fallout happened to him in Oracle, just slightly different and for other reasons. I feel like I downplay his trauma of it in Oracle a lot but in Oracle he was able to get help and he wasn't alone to deal with that trauma. Did it affect him? Yes, very much so, something like that isn't just tossed under the carpet and forgotten. But he had Loke, Angelus and Trevor to help him through it, not to mention actual professional help too in the form of therapy. The worst part was dealing with the guilt because he felt like he'd betrayed Angelus by letting it happen, that took him a long time to come to terms with but Angelus was right there for him. Honestly, who better than his own, at the time, boyfriend who went through years of that shit himself. Literally no one else could understand what he was going through better than him. Not Loke and not Trevor. Then years later when he dealt with Iain who outed what happened to him to everyone else opened up those old wounds if only for a little bit. Then his suicide attempt because of the whole Iain thing and finding out he's the Arch-Maker--She really messed him up emotionally and psychologically, the damage She did to him was massive and from that point on it affected him as a person and would play a part in how he dealt with future problems. Once again Angelus was there to help him through it and he was the best to do so because he understood what it was like to have that kind of self-loathing. Angelus spent almost 2 centuries hating his own existence and during that time he tried to kill himself so many times it's almost obscene to think about. So when Jelani was hurting so much that he wanted to end his own life Angelus was the perfect balance to it. That little puppy picked up the pieces because not only had Jelani done the same thing for him for centuries, he understood what it was like to go through something like that and knew him well enough to know what to do with and for him.

Then years later after the Halo virus caused him to lose control all those feelings of self-loathing came back along with a guilt that was rotting him on the inside. Again, Angelus understood. Angelus was conditioned by his abusers to believe that he's a monster and one that will eventually hurt those that he loves so he was the best one to help his,now husband, through it because Jelani felt the same way.

Both of them have a lot of trauma and they balance each other. When one's injured the other helps him and cares for him. They have such a deep love for one another that they can heal each other. Not to mention Loke, Trevor and Uthorim are there too, can't forget them.

In Fallout it played out a little different. When it happened to Jelani it was more brutal and a lot sicker in my opinion, not only that but he was left for dead and was threatened to not say anything or else they'd find him and Loke, do it again in front of Loke and then kill Loke. Not only did they do that but they threatened him with taking away one of the two people he had left. On top of all of that it happened when he was only a 17-year-old kid. I'm not downplaying severity of traumatic events due to age (Fallout he was 17 and in Oracle he was 1,126). However, like I said, in Oracle he managed to get help and had a support system. In Fallout it happened and in that same month he thought Loke had died so for a year he was completely by himself dealing with crippling trauma that led to him attempting suicide several times. It wasn't until he met Angelus that he found some sort of support.

Angelus was a huge help. Lol now that I think about it, Angelus is the only one in that AU that has zero traumas and pretty much never had anything bad happen to him. I mean, was his childhood ideal? No. Did his grandmother sell him to an ex-raider? Yeah. But if you ask him he had the time of his life and honestly he really doesn't care about any of that. Anyway, he didn't exactly know what to do with Jelani but damn it did he not try his best and I think that was nicely displayed during the second short where he talked Jelani out of shooting himself and the way he talked to him and asked what he was comfortable with. Even at its darkest that AU still has so much fluff in it between them. Even when it comes to sex Angelus is there helping him recover by being someone he can trust. One of his biggest fears is expressing his own desires when it comes to sex because he is TERRIFIED that Angelus or whoever he's having sex with will get angry and hurt 'im. So when it involves Jelani it's always really soft and tender, a lot of loving and reassuring words.

((I'm not sure if you wanna continue the polycule between Uth and the boys in Oracle and other AUs or just the Skyrim AU. That's why I left that last bit ambiguous. But I am game for it on everything but only IF you want to (don't feel pressured to, I so seriously don't wanna limit your options). 'Cause quite honestly I love the chemistry between 'em all. I think that even though sex is a vital part to their relationship it also goes beyond that, like they genuinely care and love each other in ways that are hard to put into words 'cause their actions towards one another speak better and louder.))

Like no matter how dark Oracle or the AUs (again, exception being Skyrim) can get I like to make it fluffy to even it out. And you know what even the Skyrim AU has it's share of not so nice things what with the whole Loke having to run away from home because Iain wanted to kill Jelani (at the time a baby that was less than a year old) out of some delusional sense of revenge. Angelus running away from home because his grandmother wanted to make sure he didn't "sully" the family line like his mother did and basically raising him to think the A.D. were good.

Jelani and Angelus balance each other out in this one pretty well too. Like, Angelus's entire world view is very skewed and wrong because of his upbringing and he's just angry. Deep down, behind all the glamour, the pretty words, the elegant jewels and expensive clothes and that air of superiority he is ANGRY. So meeting Jelani just kinda felt like he cooled down his anger towards everything and everyone. Jelani, Loke, Uthorim and Trevor really turned him around and he learned that his grandmother was completely wrong and to be fair to him he never really bought into the A.D. propaganda, he was just expected to and the only person in his life who was very anti-A.D. died when he was super young so he didn't have a countering point of view to his grandmother's upbringing. The Angelus a year after he moved in with the boys is an entirely different one than when he first got to Skyrim. Well, for the better anyway, he's still a spoiled brat of an elf with a superiority complex about him, it's just that now he's not an asshole about it surrounded by people that love him and he loves back.

But yeah, holy shit, long way of saying that yes, I do take great care in how I try to manage their traumas and the way they deal with 'em. Some get mostly better, like the Oracle version of Angelus and even then I think you can recover from traumatic events but you will never go back to the way you were before it happened. It took Angelus such a long time to get to the point where he had enough of punishing himself and even if Jelani was right there for him every step of the way he was the one that had to make that choice for himself. I wanted to move him past all that and I did. He's so much better now, I'd say since the 1970s. He still has moments and days that are much harder to deal with stuff but he actually wants to move past shit and has an excellent support system like Jelani who would do anything for him.

When it comes to Jelani he mostly recovered from his assault, took a few years but he recovered. The thing that to this day eats at him is guilt. He feels so much guilt for technically everything and to be honest it's all in his head but no matter how much therapy or medication he's given it just doesn't go away which was greatly exacerbated after he found out he's the Arch-Maker. He also has bouts where he feels alienated and lonely even though he isn't and he's aware of it but it just comes on and no amount of logic will pry those feelings from his head. He's torn between two identities, divine and non-divine, and it conflicts him a lot. Oracle Jelani is wounded, he's trying his best and for the most part you can see it but sometimes that wound opens up again and festers for a little bit and he has to balance dealing with it and going on with life.

Fallout version of Jelani is very broken, he went through a horror that a lot of people don't survive either by the person(s) responsible for it or by the victim's own hand. Like I said, I wanna keep him in that space he's in for selfish reasons and to be honest not everyone recovers and I wanna show that side too. Within Oracle you see a Jelani (Angelus as well, credit where credit is due) that managed to recover from surviving such a traumatic event but the Fallout version really didn't and it affects his life pretty heavily and it may be ugly but that's the reality of it.

There is the topic of whether I want him to get some type of closure by killing that ones that...you know...but in all honesty I think it'd be in vain and would only end up hurting him more. He cannot see or smell rum much less drink it because it reminds him of the man that orchestrated the entire thing so seeing him would send him into a panic. Not to mention he's a serious piece of shit, this man is not gonna go down without a fight or without saying and doing things that'll outright trigger him. As much of a capable marksman that he is Jelani would freeze like a baby deer in headlights and that could lead to getting assaulted again because let's face it, that man wouldn't be above doing it again and that's just bad all around.

The idea of revenge is not very realistic. Yes, in Oracle Loke, Angelus and Trevor got to the group that assaulted Jela but that kill was more for Loke if we're being brutally honest. They hurt his brother, they went after his brother. Keyword here being his. True revenge would've been if Jelani himself would've pulled the trigger but he didn't, he really didn't wanna face them again. He wanted to forget it ever happened and put it behind him. Loke, Angelus and Trevor were the ones that wanted recompense for what was done to their brother/boyfriend/friend. Same thing goes for the Fallout version. And to be honest exposing him to that would do more harm than good. To be honest, if I ever do write it it might be that I'm going through something and need to reach into dark content because no matter what the outcome won't land in Jelani's favor.

Honestly I have so much more to say on this topic but it's already really long.

[exosorcery]

KELDEORIN'YAA WORD OF THE DAY

KIV - CHILD, YOUNGLING

I am a teacher. I think it shows sometimes.

So, hear me out...

Kel' Dor infants are incubated in a marsupial-like brood-pouch for 4 months till they emerge in what is called their "Emergence Celebration." (They actually hatch in the brood-pouch). There was a time when the eggs were taken out and incubated (in the distant past). On their inimical world though, this proved too dangerous for the offspring (Momma Kel'Dors are EXTREMELY protective).

Sometimes (due to marsupiod trauma of some sort like a bump/ massive jarring/trauma to the mother) a little one will opt to delay emergence. I say "opt," because in adulthood many of these children will tell you that is exactly what they did. They needed some more time of empathic safety and quiet space, till Momma could telepathically coax them out. Her body is so closely intertwined with theirs (with not one BUT TWO umbilicus - one for waste and one for sustenance) that only when the child consents are the cords detatched - and Baby emerges to see what's for lunch.

Poor Momma gets pretty big when this happens, as you would expect - but not as big as you might think (because Kel' Dors stay pretty small to fit while they're in there, and then undergo a MASSIVE growing spurt when they're out). However -

Their growth spurt is not as extreme. instead, they take their time as much with that as anything else. As they grow there are telltale signs in their morphology. Their heads are larger, with smaller eyes, taller craniums and lower-set kolmi (sensory horns... Levin'yaa, as some other races call them). They are thinner than other kids but have a ravenous appetite when they eat. They are hyper-sensory and start at the smallest things... particularly auditory stimuli (it has been put forth that in some cases there may be a sensory sensitivity issue at play with these kids - and they are born having a hard time with noise. This has not been conclusively proven). Mentally, they are typically sharp as a tack and often mathematically inclined (it is a fallacy that they experience universal mental delays). Eventually they catch up in all ways to their peers... and many very important Kel' Dor were in fact late-emergers in their infancy.

Plo Koon was one :)

This is an original character of mine who is a late emerger. Her name is TORN LI. She is beloved by her friends and peer group, and fiercely defended from bullies (yes- there are some. Like everyplace).

She is the math whiz who will happily help anyone with their homework, and loves her friends to a fault. She has issues with being hyper-sensory and is easily startled (she loves SIM the troublemaker, but HATES that he is noisy and shrinks whenever his loud voice is around).

I love that her world ADORES and supports these little ones and they all have kinds of advocates and emotional supports in their early life - from their momma and siblings, to the school system and their network of friends. It's really sweet.

( I have a story on the burner of the sometimes humorous form "emergence" takes if it happens, say, in a supermarket or a restaurant. It's kind of an ordeal... but a happy one for all involved. Stay tuned!)

Many thanks, as usual, to @plokoonsdisapprovingeyebrows for the terrific Keldeorin'yaa Conlang Dictionary, which you can find here:

keldeorinyaa conlang dictionary - Google Sheets

I love it - and you will too.

[slowthunders]

i will stand for myself and deffend my integrity perfectly fine as i have no absolute silly bitch to be afraid of and i have the godamn right to get this off my chest.

i have a life to live, a job to keep, an adulthood to survive and real serious things to focus on. which why this is the only post addressing my position on this mortifying incident that i got dragged on by bambi. these levels of slander i was placed on are beyond disgusting, i will no longer tolerate such false dirt.

i will break down my side little by little, with pears and apples. as many of y'all have shown your evident illiteracy.

tw: mentions of fatphobia, death wishes and transphobia

1. masha and applewillowstone

how foolish is to somehow revisit the deal with said person in which i previously addressed, it can be found here for what its worth. i never denied the toxicity or her and apple's actions, i gave masha the benefit of doubt back then and that was part of my mistakes, i still admit with transparency.

this prompted me to re-value who i was supporting, reflect through it, eventually chose to do the right thing by unfriending her, get critical of her transphobia her hostility and privately apologize to whoever i needed to.

bambi, you're getting your 180 wackadoo claims out of nowhere with the purpose of making me look like this shady form, it ain't working.

yes, there were moments i was catty and problematic in my conversations with masha, many of that is dumb shit i am not proud of which i grew up from ever since i cut ties from masha, except what i admitted directly to you. suck it up.

it is wild that for my involvement, which really wasn't as horrific compared to the abusive thing these individuals did, makes people believe i deserve to receive fatphobia, being called a whore, being falsely acused of transphobia and even be told to fucking kill myself through anonymous hate. y'all are taking your unconformity with the wrong bitch.

i refuse to go on an apology tour to the whole community as i did not get involved in the serious trauma infliction that these individuals were exposed for. i refuse to be punished for things i did not commit.

my job with this dead horse was already finished and even after that, some of y'all chose to still think whatever fugazzi ass rumour about me story your tiny little brains decide to stick with then fine, stick with that imaginary idea of me. life goes on.

for the ones up to question me and have doubts on this situation like the civil grown human beings with zero hateration you are: great! i'll be more than glad to answer as i technically have nothing to hide and lose. my DMs are always open.

i no longer know what else to do to prove i worked with this deal with what i had and i did the correct things at the end. i no longer care. flip the page and stop lying on this right here, bambi.

2. the "bullying" acussations

it has come to my attention how now valid open criticism equals bullying. what an interesting case to study...

bambi, i'm still trying to figure out how the hell, you were told by ivy that he can't fuck with your friend for valid reasons politely, then you chosing to try making ivy feel like shit for asking you to respect boundaries and rather than being quiet, mind your own business and be a grown woman about it you CHOSE to be rude to ivy, fight him which rightfully prompted him to block you, still you decide to cherry pick the pieces for your own gain to paint yourself as the victim once freaking again for pity points, yet seeing how literally no one except the cult of enablers that you are part of, disagreed with you with solid facts...

tell me how did you think this will be a terrific idea and allow you to get away with shit without proper backlash?

criticism ≠ bullying

you fucked up and got yourself canceled. stop twisting the deal arround me and my choice to stand and support ivy. this is nobody's fault but yours.

3. the reason why i blocked you

is simple: you constantly brag out loud in pompous ways how you swear to be an innocent love and light little birdie full of rainbows and sunshines and cupcakes yet your actions demonstrate the whole rancid opposite.

i started to look through your shit long time ago. you are the epitome of wolf in sheep's clothing, you pretend to be something you definitely are not online, you love stirring pots but once it all backfires on you with valid disagreements, you run behind your 'but i hate discourse!!' shield.

i'm not the only person who has noticed it. this particular pathern is not normal.

the sky is blue i did not make the rules.

i am erratic, problematic, argumentative, mean ill-tempered and raw which 93% of it is thanks to my ptsd and autism spectrum, sure. but i'm not around claiming i'm a good person. that right there bambi, is the big difference between me and you.

now if you and your little bunch of cult weirdos excuse me, i'd like every single of you bitches to leave me the fuck alone, stop putting words that my devices did not touch and rub some grass. bambi, quit twisting the scenario to surround me. admit you did whole wrong and apologize to ivy, as your actions messed him over and prompted him to close HGC.

you assholes, you childish turds, specially Y'ALL, bitch about antis on billy hargrove tumblr but y'all are doing the whole different agenda of textbook rancid that only feeds our already fucked up reputation. congratulations, your nonsense division is also actively giving us all a bad name.

bambi, put yourself together and get the fuck off my dick.

[nebulouscoffee]

Favorite alien species and favorite villain!

Thank you friend!

Bajorans and Cardassians are undoubtedly the two species I've spent the most amount of time thinking about, so I'm going to have to put them in for a tie- I just can't look at one without the other! DS9 is very much a show I enjoy for its postcolonial themes, and their histories and societies and foremost issues are deeply intermingled. There are so many fascinating contrasts between them, in the starkly different yet occasionally similar ways in which they approach concepts like freedom, love, devotion, truth/reality, memory, community, family, and sacrifice- I could chew on it forever. There are so many terrific characters like Kira, Garak, Kai Winn, Dukat, Bariel, Ziyal, and more- plus, the static setting of DS9 allows for so much cool worldbuilding, and I feel like there's a ton of nonwestern influence in both (yes, both) cultures that borrows quite heavily from real-world ones (including their issues) which allows me to write a lot of self projectey fanfiction haha. (Honourable mention to Trills though! I have soooo many headcanons about them I could talk about Trills for hours :D)

As for my fav villain, I'm leaning towards Kai Winn here! I think she's absolutely tragic and fascinating. She loves her people and her planet, but then there's this love of power and control that runs at odds to it. She comes so close to redemption, so many times- yet, she just can't seem to let go of her desire to be The One (that saves Bajor) long enough. She has these deeply heartbreaking moments of humility, and then this painfully performative mask of politeness she slips on to get away with awful things. She's too mistrustful to accept the help of multiple people actively offering it, but spends her whole life begging for acknowledgement from gods who were always going to ignore her.. and the saddest part is, there's plenty of good reasons why she is the way she is. (I'm very grateful for the recent wave of Winn appreciation on this site, but I honestly still disagree with some of the positive meta I see about her too- I don't think calling her purely a victim with only Bajor's best interests at heart is an accurate read of her either; her politics and creative interpretations of Bajoran prophecies in ways that serve her (plus her willingness to throw fellow Bajorans like Neela under the bus) very much mirror real life corrupt and dictatorial politicians across the third world who use their trauma (specifically colonial trauma) as a deflection and shield all in one, to cover up what their true priorities are (her actions in 'Shakaar', for example.)) Winn's crises of faith and deep personal insecurities (and Louise Fletcher's complex and layered performance) make her a deeply sympathetic villain to me, and I don't think her orthodox beliefs, corruption, or refusal to share the spotlight even at the cost of her people should be ignored either- they're what make her so fascinating!! Though I do understand the urge in an environment that's historically been so needlessly hateful towards her lol. Anyway- Winn Adami my beloved!!!

[the-star-and-the-smols]

I'm Irish and I love Sean's bouncy strut, something I like to call the Dublin walk. Also he's probably the best Irish character in a game I've ever seen. Not just booze stereotypes and a bad accent from a VA who can't do accents. He's the best and he deserves the world.

Ah hi! I can't resist an opportunity to talk about this man. Nice to hear he's a positive Irish character in your opinion! I'm glad they got Mick specifically to voice him because he did a terrific job (though as an American I can't say whether Sean actually sounds like a Donegaller when Mick is from Cork which is. Opposite side of the country lol.) Nice to hear Irish folks' opinions on him; the ones I've heard were mostly positive though I've heard a few people say he's kinda a stereotype. I listened to a podcast where Mick said he was glad to see and be a part of positive Irish rep that wasn't just a walking stereotype. I thought that was pretty neat.

As for his bouncy strut, I love it too, and I think about it a lot. So it's an Irish thing? That's pretty cool. His character, like all the other red dead II characters, in my opinion is just really well made and fleshed out with a lot of nuance and subtleties that are easy to miss if you aren't paying close attention. I think that's what makes the character feel real (plus the voice acting fr). He definitely does drink a lot, though, but I feel personally like a lot of that is due to trauma/stress and not just for the sake of Irish Stereotype. And yes our bby Sean deserves all the good things, I love him so much 💖

Tysm for the ask I love talking about him so much

[endaisgayandtrans]

The Letter T

Let’s get something straight,

I’m not

Or at least, that’s a situation in question

But that’s not what I’m here for, you see

The acronym LGBT has a terrific little tail that everyone tends to trip over

And the conversations that transpire when I attempt to try the closet door

Leave me frequently swept under the rug

Maybe I’m just a little lost in translation

But they should know that identity is not orientation

And it can be tricky to articulate, so I don’t mind the extra explanation

But I’m telling you there’s a tipping point where you can’t expect me to take it

To tally up the talks I’ve had tearing apart the phrase

“So, genderfluid is like another word for bisexual, then, right?”

Because there’s already this his-and-hers internal tug-of-war

So tying in other types of ignorance just gets tiring at times

And trying again and trying again and again to get the point across

Leads me down a tangled train of thought that runs off the tracks in unclear tangents

Because conversations transition without the intended Amendments

Because these transcripts would transcend the usual transfer of data

Into transgressions and obsessions with more than I’m able to

Confirm or confer without temperamental reactions

Feeling entirely translucent overlooking their infractions

Wondering why more words aren’t composed in a way that allows them

To be transposed to neutrality or at least farther from

Specific definitions testing how gendered things can get

Wondering why I don’t make any sense yet

Let me be perfectly queer

The acronym LGBT has a tetrad attraction detailing at least part of this

Just a trifle of understanding if you’re looking to comprehend it

And if you don’t care to learn then don’t bother to ask

But take some time from your day and I’ll try to make it fast

Go ahead and interrogate, I don’t mind all that much

Whatever trips your trigger, as long as it’s not pointed at us

I can’t speak on behalf of every transgender teen

But if you don’t know a word, I can tell you what I mean

I can text you a trillion terms to absorb

Or trim down the lesson to the basics if you’re bored

But don’t tell me that pronouns are a hassle to learn

When they catch in the throats of those just waiting Their turn

To stop hiding their tears and be treated the same

Teaching one person at a time until the world hears their true name

Don’t expect trophies, but I’ll give you my thanks

Don’t tease us about the clothes that make our spines and souls ache

I want to wear this letter T like a cross from my neck

Saying the prefix trans- means across and I like it like that

Traversing the spectrums and binaries all mixed

Transcontinental, transatlantic, transfixed

By the beauty in boys and the glamour in girls

But mostly the neithers and boths in this world

Don’t tell me it’s a transient, temporary tale

Or that I’m totally enamoured with getting off the most followed trail

I’m taking back traumas and tense muscles and taunts

Until tentative trespassers give us what we want

A presence, a voice, and all human rights

It shouldn’t be a privilege to feel safe at night

Don’t tiptoe around troubles, just stand with us here

Add a voice until we trumpet our triumphs and cheers

Take my hand, hear my voice

Listen, learn something new

Because LGBT has a cross and

Cross my heart

I’m with you

[gentil-minou]

I'd love to go into psychology. I think that diagnosing people is absolutely fascinating, but I have a really hard time with empathy. I can understand characters in TV shows and books and why they do the things that they do, but when it's real people it feels like there's a mental block or something? I just have to try really hard to be understanding and patient and I think that doing that for years would make me feel terrible. I have the right personality to be a psychiatrist, but I hate science and I know that I'd hate doing medical school. I know that there's other jobs in psychology (like a research psychologist, or a professor or something maybe) but getting a PhD is phenomenally hard and I'm not sure if I can do it. I feel like, for a therapist or really for anyone in psychology, having a lot of empathy is almost a requirement. Can you be a therapist if you have a hard time with empathy and relating to people?

Hi! I'm so excited to hear you're interested and I always love talking to folks who are passionate about this as a career! We need folks, yes including folks like you!

For starters: psychology is a broad field and not just one career. There's different types and paths to follow, not just the stuff you see on TV. It can be stuff like psychiatry (which is more medication based and why more like med school), therapist (my field which I didn't need a doctorate for in the USA, only my masters and liscensure hours), occupational therapy (which is its own field and so so very important), school counselor. And etc etc. Some folks even use psych in other fields, like teachers and I know it helps im advertising and marketing. It's so multifaceted that there really isn't a limit!

What I mean to say is, in short, it's about figuring out what you're comfortable with doing and what's the right fit for you. And you have time! One of my classmates in my masters was 50, and they're terrific. Higher education is necessary, but there's many paths for the same thing. I'd say see what opportunities might be available for you now to test the waters, see where your interests lie. Do you like working with kids or adults? Do you prefer play therapy or talking about feelings? Do you like moving around and working on motor skills or helping someone in a crisis or trauma situation? Are you interested in social work or working in schools? Start with researching and see what sparks your interest, the more passionate you are about it the more motivated you'll be to go to school for it.

And as to your second question: you already HAVE empathy. You said you understand what a fictional character is thinking and why they act a certain way, and that's a start.

It's true having empathy is an important skill in this field, but it's a SKILL for a reason. It's something we have to practice, and that's part of why school is so important. Part of it is understanding how someone's experiences lead to they way they act, which comes from not just empathy but understanding the symptoms in play here.

I'll give a real example: a parent comes to me and says they don't like the work I'm doing with their kid and they want a new therapist, even though the kid doesn't. My instinct, and this I cannot stress enough is valid and normal reaction, is to be hurt and upset. I'm even angry, because I know I am doing good work and it's the parent who has been causing issues. I'm frustrated and so very very hurt.

But I can also acknowledge that my feelings are separate from the situation, that I need to dig deeper to find out the full bigger picture here. This career is a lot like detective work, because we have to search for clues that might tell us why someone does or acts a certain way. So for this parent I might think about what I know of home life, current events that might he impacting them. Does the parent have their own mental health that causes issues? Are they upset with me or the situation? And can I help them figure put and communicate? It builds on more than just empathy I think, and it's something that comes largely from experience and recognizing patterns.

It doesn't always come naturally, but it does come with practice. You definitely have empathy if you are able to think about how your reaction affects another person. It's just building on those skills! Gathering experience and letting yourself learn, recognizing what might be a weakness that you can build on. And crucially: Practice practice practice!

[esther-dot]

Hey, do you believe the Snow sequel will actually happen at this point? There doesn’t seem to be much progress happening. Is there an actual release date? Love your blog ❤️

Thank you so much! 💗

Yes, I think it will. No release date yet, as far as I know, but HBO seems invested in building out their ASOIAF-verse. Martin talked in one of his blog posts about how long it takes to get a show into production, years and years, and they weren’t ready to announce SNOW. Someone let the cat out of the bag and everyone went nuts until GRRM confirmed it in a blog post last June.

Yes, it was Kit Harrington who brought the idea to us. I cannot tell you the names of the writers/ showrunners, since that has not been cleared for release yet… but Kit brought them in too, his own team, and they are terrific.

Various rumors are floating around about my involvement, or lack of same. I am involved, just as I am with THE HEDGE KNIGHT and THE SEA SNAKE and TEN THOUSAND SHIPS, and all the animated shows. Kit’s team have visited me here in Santa Fe and worked with me and my own team of brilliant, talented writer/ consultants to hammer out the show. (link)

So, I think maybe our timeline expectations were skewed by learning about it before we were meant to? Last Fall Kit was saying he couldn’t talk about it, but by December when he gave an interview at a convention he talked about GoT/where Jon was emotionally, and the way he was talking seemed pretty comfortable and confident about where we will find Jon and what was in store for him. No details about the show’s plot, he just seemed to have fairly specific thoughts about Jon’s traumas, formative life, current circumstances, his future. To me that indicated things were chugging along.

I imagine all the chaos at the company may have some impact on things, the writers strike too, there’s also HBO’s decision to order full first seasons for some of these shows, not just pilots, so we may still have a ways to go before ever seeing it, but apparently, it’s been discussed since shortly after GoT ended, spearheaded by Kit. I can’t imagine HBO letting the opportunity of a sequel, essentially, with one of the stars from the og series slip through their fingers.

Also, I just saw this article this morning:

(link)

which amused me because this has been what Jonsas have been saying since we heard the rumor. Honestly, this reads just like some of our posts! But according to @sherlokiness ‘s rude anon, we can’t imagine what the sequel will be about because we hate Jon, not because a lot of us love stories and are acutely aware of the difficulties plaguing this concept. 🙃