#the old guard headcanon

[mprosperossprite]

Small, extremely niche new headcanon, upon a The Old Guard rewatch:

The night of the Goussainville attack, Joe and Booker turn on a football match. It is the middle of the goddamn night, meaning no European clubs would be playing live. Could be a replay, but you know what's better?

They're watching MLS.

The TV shows red kits vs. blue kits. Gotta be a West Coast US game for the time zones.

Looking at MLS Kits from the 2018 and 2019 seasons, I've decided it's an LA Galaxy (blue) vs. New York Red Bulls (red) match.

Does Booker have feelings about David Beckham ending his career in MLS? Does Joe despise the way Red Bull has franchised football clubs in Germany and the US? Yes and yes.

[absolutedoorknob]

For reasons I cannot explain, I present TOG as high school sports teams.

Joe: baseball team. Take one look at that backwards cap and try and tell me he isn’t a baseball player.

Andy: all of them, but specifically field hockey. Was team captain for two years.

Quynh: ice hockey. Had a “rivalry” with Andy but really it was just so Nicky could win a bet saying that they’d kiss in the middle of spring term.

Nile: my girl is a rugby player!!! Or soccer/football (international). Tell me u can’t see her tearing up the field with her cleats on!! Also to survive girls rugby you have to be tough as a US marine, so…

Booker: on the soccer/football (international) team but only because his mom is making him. Definitely gets ‘ankle injuries’ early into every game. Keeps a mickey of liquor in his glovebox.

Nicky: plays basketball bc he gives off Tall vibes. Like idk if yes actually talk but he is definitely high school basketball tall.

[drizzledrawings]

They are his dads ok

[lionlena]

☆MASTERLIST☆

Pedro Pascal

One Shot:

♡A kitchen disaster

♡Just let it go…

♡New job, new problems...

♡Just breathe

Series:

♡His Curls - Part 1, Part 2, Part 3 (completed)

♡Hate run, love speed - Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4 (in progress)

♡We don’t love each other - Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7 - Final (completed)

Request:

♡A perfect day for a perfect girl (It's your birthday and Pedro makes you feel loved and special all day)

Headcanon:

♡What sleeping position do they most like when you are with them? (Pedro Pascal characters)💤

♡How will they react to your makeup? (Pedro Pascal and his characters) 👁️👄💅

♡Headcanon: How do they behave when you have a migraine? (Pedro Pascal characters)🩹😴   (+ Dave and Marcus)

♡Headcanon: How will they react if you tell them about CDD? (Pedro Pascal characters) 👰💔😱🤕  

♡Headcanon: Who will be ready to kill for you? From most willing to least... (Pedro Pascal characters) 🔪💀☠️🩸

♡Headcanon: How do they cook for you? (Pedro Pascal characters) 🥕🧑‍🍳🍓

Joel Miller

One Shot:

♡This is just a nightmare… (The Last of Us ff/ Joel/Ellie)

♡Strong for both of us

♡Trouble with ex

♡Dyeing your hair…

♡Together in happiness and depression… (no outbreak)

♡One last time…(no outbreak/angst)

Series:

♡Unforgivable mistake, Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7 Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13, (in progress)

♡I can't be everywhere (No outbreak!) Part 1 , Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5... (in progress)

Request:

♡You need a better place (Joel loving a girl with epilepsy)

♡Blue dress (Joel Miller x plus size!reader)

Headcanon:

♡When Joel goes limp… (JoelMillerxf!reader)🤷🍆🩹

Javier Peña

One Shot:

♡I’ll protect you… (bc you’re mine)

♡I’ll hurt you… ( bc you’re mine )

♡I’ll leave you (bc youre not mine)

♡I'll stay with you... ( bc I love you)

♡You’re hot…

♡A girl from the street

Series:

♡Dancing With Your Ghost - Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV, Part V, Part VI, Part VII, Part VIII, Part IX, Part X, Part XI, Part XII, Epilogue (completed)

♡Too many shadows behind you - Part 1, Part 2, Part 3,  Part 4, Part 5 (in progress)

Headcanon:

♡Nicotine (JavierPeña and You)

Agent Whiskey (Jack Daniels)

Series:

♡Dynasty - Part 1, Part 2, (in progress)

One Shot:

♡Mean (JackDanielsxf!reader)

♡Llamas don't drink whiskey...

Headcanon:

♡What does Jack's ranch look like? 🤠🐴🐓🐮🧑‍🌾

Javi Gutierrez

One Shot:

♡Too hot

Frankie Morales

One Shot:

♡Lost cat

Marcus Pike

One Shot: 

♡"7.44 am"

Headcanon:

♡If Teresa tried to get Marcus back after years...

♡Marcus tells you about his meeting with Teresa...

Marcus Acacius

One Shot:

♡Even if you fall apart...

Oberyn Martell

Series:

♡Red Viper and Fox - Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4 (in progress, soon english version)

One Shot:

♡♕Queen's Milk

♡I Hold You

♡Remember me… (ANGST!)

♡Leave... (ANGST)

Headcanon: 

♡Headcoanon: Oberyn's finger kink... 🤤💦🤌

The Old Guard (movie)

One Shot: 

♡ Amira

♡ It hurts like hell    

[non-un-topo]

Thinking about the sniper duo

[1-800-crscnt]

i like to think that the Coruscant Guard, Jedi Temple Guards, and Senate Guard don't all necessarily hate each other, but just argue a good bit and are generally passive aggressive towards each other while also collaborating to get jobs done. The CG and SG tend to work together just fine and the most; neither really work with the TG that often and consider them "strange but efficient". Also, by coincidence, the Commanders and Lieutenants of the CG interact with the SG more once they become the Red Guard, but "got along" better with the Blue Guard, and the TG interacts with them even less (so basically never) after this change. Smaller hc, but the CG (mostly the younger ones) started absorbing a handful of slang and speech patterns from the more relaxed SG members before the change.

[immortalmuses]

ㅤㅤㅤ"…ah. I see my heart is turning himself into a prune."

ㅤㅤㅤNicky's mouth twitched at the corner, a small thing, but he otherwise didn't move. The immortal reclined in a massive sunken tub, his eyes closed and head tipped back against the rockface it was built into. He and Joe were in South Africa for the moment, laying low in a cottage somewhere outside Touws River, and Nicolò had decided there was no better opportunity to indulge…

ㅤㅤㅤ"Will you love me even if I am all wrinkly?" He murmured, slow and quiet in the peace of the bathroom. The water was hot. Hot enough that sweat gathered in the hair at his temples, every muscle in the Genoan's shoulders unraveled like loose yarn, leaving him to feel indolent and sensual and needy. He thought, passingly, that he'd quite like Yusuf to join him. But as the silence stretched between them, Nicky opened his eyes, making a querying noise.

ㅤㅤㅤJoe was there (of course, always), leant against the edge of the sink. His expression was open and stricken in a way that spoke to Nicolò without words, that his beloved's emotions had become too immense for his body. The other immortal inhaled sharply, eyes gone liquid-soft, "…If… when… your beautiful body becomes marked by the proof of our many years together, habibi…" He said, beautiful and hoarse, "…then I will love every wrinkle, every line scrawled across your blessed skin."

ㅤㅤㅤAnd, oh. Yes. Okay. For a moment Nicky's throat closed, taken by the bittersweet image Joe painted with his words. Wordlessly, he lifted his arms from the water and reached towards his love, beckoning.

ㅤㅤㅤAnd Yusuf came into his arms, as he always does. As he always will.

[materassassino]

I think my silliest Mildly Autistic Nicky headcanon is that yes, he adores spices and seasonings and authentic flavours, but very occasionally (like once every six months) he will want a Plain Food day where he eats nothing but pastina in brodo and bread and butter and other boring things and everyone goes along with it. Joe is happy because Nicky is happy, Andy and Booker will eat anything if it sits still long enough. Nile was surprised but anything Nicky cooks is nourishing even if it's not mind-blowing.

The menu resumes as normal the next day.

(Actually I don't know if this is silly or not. I just like the idea. I would also imagine that they've eaten their fair share of fucking atrocious meals over the centuries, stuff that not even Nicky's skill could save, so anything is better than ship's hard tack, tripe or rotten rice.)

[enchantedchocolatebars]

Here's an idea that just came to me: There's this song by Peter Gabriel called "Come Talk To Me": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=12xFB3zXBSg, which Gabriel said is about about the breakdown in communication between him and one of his daughters

So imagine either:

Beardo Philip singing the song to Luz because he wants to get along with her and show he's good enough for her mother.

or Redeemed Belos singing to Luz and Hunter because he wants to prove to them he has changed.

Aww, yes! ❤️

I heart both scenarios! 💖 🩷 💕 💟

@pokeycub and @talisman975 .

I'm not sure if it'll entirely resolve everything (the song), but it's certainly a promising start and could prompt Luz / Luz and Hunter to give Philip / Belos a genuine chance.

[getvalentined]

I love when folks ask me Fandom Old questions and I get to be like "Yeah, uh, that's from my old online RP group, no it's not canon at all, yes we just made it up, no we did not claim it was canon but the mid to late aughts were a strange time."

It's honestly a shock to realize how often this has happened. I mentioned earlier that Reno's fanon surname came from this same group, but that's not even the half of it. I once made a bunch of screenshot manips based on the most ridiculous ships anyone could think of—someone slapped a random line of text onto one of them and to this day it's used as a "cringe FF7 fandom" meme. I saw it on the twits a bit back and almost fell out of my goddamn chair.

If you've ever heard Scarlet referred to with the surname "West," read about Tseng fighting with metal fans, seen Elena's older sister being called Anna instead of Emma, come across Vincent portrayed as having a PhD in spite of being a Turk, or caught references somewhere to Grimoire experimenting on Vincent as a child, that started with this group. That was us.

One of the funniest examples of this, for me specifically, is that we don't actually know which arm Veld is missing? The fandom generally goes with his left because that's how I drew him in the first picture of the guy ever posted on devart way back in 2005, but it may very well be his right. I've seen people offer "proof" that it's his right based on a scene in the opening cutscene, but you can't tell there either, and with BC's graphics there's literally no way to tell on his sprite.

Hell, this year we found out everyone's assumed timeline of the Kalm fire is wrong, and that's our fault too because we made some assumptions about Felicia's age for an LJ RP that were entirely wrong. She's around Zack's age, not Sephiroth's! She's old enough to run with a terrorist group in BC, but she was a child when Kalm burned, and that happened in 1997—we know this because NPCs in Rebirth literally refer to the fire in Kalm having happened "just ten years ago." Veld has only had his prosthetic for three years when BC starts. (This also implies that, contrary to popular belief, Veld may actually be younger than Vincent. Vincent may have been the senior partner, and that's why he was sent to Nibelheim alone while Veld was left at headquarters.)

We were really wrong on this! But we were working with what we had. There's no canon evidence for the vast majority of these things (the most notable exclusion here is Vincent being educated) but we weren't claiming there was. We were filling gaps, and canon was so sparse that we had a lot of gaps to fill. So if it turns out that Veld lost his right arm, then I'll just have to start drawing him that way—because losing his left was never canon.

Tragically, there's nothing any of us can do to make people stop assuming these things are canon at this point; there aren't a lot of us still in the fandom, and it's not like any of us have those old chatlogs anymore. People from this RP group have DIED since those days. It's been over 20 years since most of us met, and around 15 since most of us were in a public fannish space together.

"Prove it," people say, and I literally can't. Do you know how many computers I've been through since then? 75% of the platforms we used no longer exist. This all started on a BBCode forum! There is no proof!

But...there's no evidence any of these things are canon, either, so maybe think about that? The Kalm fire, Tseng's weapon of choice, Veld's arm, character surnames—none of these are retcons because there was no lore there to retcon. We made it up for our specific purposes, and it escaped containment in an era when there was really no way to do online contact tracing.

It's just one of the weirdest feelings in the world to see younger folk arguing about A or B point in canon, about X or Y retcon—referencing something my friends and I thought up at like 10 o'clock at night on a now-defunct IM client in August of 2005, because we needed something to refer back to for a specific scene in an RP and the source material had nothing to offer.

Absolutely fucking bonkers.

[blackholesun321]

I just want everyone to know unless explicitly stated otherwise Fox will always in my heart be a red head, in any and every fic I read of Him!!!

And in every fic I write if not stated or he isn’t mentioned, know somewhere out in the big wide Star Wars universe, probably drinking out of a permanently stained ‘worlds best dad’ mug written over in pink glitter sharpie to say commander. Fox will be living his worst life with his twizzler ass hair!

[nickeverdeen]

Asking The Old Guard characters for a hand picture while they’re away

Andy (wlw/lesbian)

Andy is both amused and flattered by your request, a smirk playing on her lips

She teases you playfully a bit, “Just my hand? You sure you don’t want more?”

Despite the teasing, she quickly obliges, sending a picture of her hand in a relaxed pose

Makes sure her vains are visible

Adds a personal touch by wearing a ring or bracelet that you gifted her

Accompanies the picture with a flirty comment, “Hope this keeps you company until I’m back.”

If you hint at needing more, she sends additional pictures, each more suggestive than the last

Promises to make it up to you in person when she returns

Gets slightly possessive

“Remember, I’m the only one who gets to see you like this.”

Stops acting possessive very quickly as it happened just when you asked for it for the first time

Texts you through it from time to time

Checks in with you later, “Did my hand do the trick, or do you need a video call?”

Gladly gives you one if she can

“Don’t worry, I’ll give you the real thing soon.”

Nicky (mlm/gay)

Nicky blushes slightly at the request but finds it endearing and kidna hot

Replies with a gentle and loving message, “Of course, anything for you.”

Sends a picture with his hand in a graceful pose, showcasing his artistic side

Flirts subtly, “Does this help, or do you need something more?”

Ensures you feel comfortable and not embarrassed about your request

Pays attention to detail, ensuring the lighting and background are perfect

Mentions plans for a romantic evening when he returns to make up for the distance

Being more of a bottom he is Nicky when he can and wants kidna joins you

Makes a phone call and blushing through the entire conversation

Makes sure no one is looking into his phone

Nile Freeman

Nile is surprised but also curious about the request

Replies with a light-hearted joke, “Just my hand? What’s the plan here?”

Is kidna innocent and confused at first as being in the army she didn’t have a lot of time for this

Takes her a sweet minute or two to understand

Chuckles and blushes a bit when she does and gives you a small teasing

Quickly takes a picture of her hand, making sure it looks good

Adds a personal message, “Miss you, can’t wait to see you again.”

Teases you later a bit

Keeps the conversation going to maintain closeness despite the distance

Adds a playful comment, “Hope this helps, let me know if you need more.”

Talks about future plans and how much she’s looking forward to seeing you and using her hands on you

Ensures the whole interaction is fun and not awkward, keeping the mood light

Gets a bit paranoid when Andy sees her texts, but after some time the paranoia dies down

Joe (mlm/gay)

Joe immediately flirts, seeing the humor and intimacy in the request

Takes a quick, yet well-composed photo of his hand

Adds a romantic message, “Only for you, my love.”

Ensures the shot is detailed, showing off his strong, capable hands

Mentions how much he’s looking forward to being back with you

Doesn’t shy from doing this again

Sends a boice message when he’s alone

“We’ll be together soon. Stay strong for me.”

Booker

Booker chuckles at your request, finding it kidna funny

Takes a quick photo of his hand without much fuss

“Is this what you’re missing?”

Sends a follow-up message, teasing you gently

“You know, I’m looking forward to being back with you.”

Doesn’t make a big deal out of it

Kidna proud

Keeps the mood light and playful to avoid any awkwardness

Mentions what he wants to do with you when he gets back

“Miss you. Can’t wait to see you.”

Merrick

Merrick is surprised but finds your request intriguing

Takes his time to get a good shot, making sure it’s perfect

Adds a professional touch to the photo, making it look polished

“Here you go. Hope it’s what you were hoping for.”

Adds a playful edge, “Now you owe me one.”

Ensures the picture is sent securely to protect your privacy

Follows up with a curious message, “Did it help?”

Teases about how he’ll make it up to you in person

Next time, let’s try something more… direct.”

“Take care. I’ll be back soon.”

[wittyrogue]

we all like to joke that zevran's failed contract in origins has lost the crows an entire country but in this essay i will tell you how actually crows are afraid to go further south than the free marches because the black shadow will get them.

lets set the scene: early 9:30 dragon, a hit goes out on two grey wardens from the "ruler" of ferelden. zevran wins the bid and effectively disappears. two grey wardens are still seen out and about. taliesen is later sent to clean it up and also disappears.

their fates, canonically, are "unknown" (per world of thedas, vol. 2 pg 96, screen capped at the bottom of the post for reference).

grandmaster eoman arainai (zevran's master and the one who ordered rinna killed) is killed four months after the blight ends. four other members of house arainai are also killed over the next three years (9:30-33 dragon), taking house arainai from being the house with the eighth talon to obscurity.

grandmaster runn and grandmaster availa are also killed (honestly unclear if they're house arainai or not, but we'll run with them being eoman's replacements 1 and 2), likely around 9:33 or at the latest, 9:34 dragon.

at some point, zevran makes some friends and seems to have worked to fill the ranks of those rising within the crows with those who are similar in his mindset--those that have been cheated out of well earned coin, driven into hiding, or silenced in one way or another, slowly building a rising generation of crows less keen on the old house structure way of doing things.

during this time, whenever zevran is discovered in antiva, he's chased out by the crows, who get as far as rivain or the free marches and then those crows go missing--the implication here being that they chase zevran, only to at some point have the chase twisted and end up killed by zevran's own blade.

also at some point, zevran is caught in a trap by the crows, who continued to hunt him "for the honor of antivan crows" aka a crow never breaks a contract (though at this point claiming zevran as a crow seems like a clerical oversight).

in case you were wondering: - crows: 1 - zevran: 3 grandmasters, 5 assassins (rank or higher), innumerable rank and file lured south

by 9:35 dragon, the guildmaster of rialto has been killed and two guildmasters are said to be in zevran's pocket. first caveat: unclear if this is widespread to all of the crows, or limited to just house arainai. second caveat: guildmaster and grandmaster seem to be used interchangeably? which is mildly frustrating but it is what it is. this is also assumed to do with zevran's escape from wherever they were keeping him captive.

relative radio silence from the maker's perfect boy until 9:40 dragon when he sends an "oops i did it again ;)" letter to leliana apologizing for killing a crow hired to do inquisition business. for the record, this crow is doing business in hercinia at the time, which is in the free marches. this exchange speaks to a pattern of continuing the crow killing business, specifically those going south to the free marches.

now we're up to the current year and lucanis and harding have our oh so charming exchange below (emphasis mine):

Harding: Lucanis, you've never really been to Ferelden? But I thought you traveled all over!

Lucanis: The Crows don't take many contracts there. Not since the Fifth Blight.

Harding: I heard Teyrn Loghain hired Crows in his fight over the throne.

Lucanis: And that's why we don't work there anymore.

Harding: So the Crows don't work in Ferelden anymore because of Loghain? Why, exactly?

Lucanis: House Arainai embarrassed themselves so badly on that job, the Crows buried six different Eighth Talons.

Harding: You're... you're saying they actually die of embarrassment.

Lucanis: Some of them weren't dead at the time. But they got it eventually.

hey scroll up for a second, back to the part where i told you the crows vs zevran tally.

ok come back. thanks.

now at least one of those six #confirmed kills of zevran's is grandmaster eoman arainai, the eighth talon. clearly being a grandmaster and a talon are not conflicting roles. i'd gather, actually, that being grandmaster of the house holding a talon position makes you the talon as well. so zevran's killed at least three arainai talons (eoman, runn, availa). if we put house arainai in rialto, that makes a fourth in 9:35 dragon during zevran's escape from imprisonment for four dead talons, just between 9:30 and 9:35 dragon. i really think in the following handful of years, zevran can do two more. as a treat.

all this to say--in this dialogue with harding, lucanis is putting on his professional customer service voice and saying that no, they just don't really like working in fereldan all that much.

please don't look at the line of dead crows that starts in the free marches.

please ignore the pile of dead eighth talons.

please stop looking at house arainai.

honestly, i think there's a solid argument to be made that zevran's hunting of crows affected a widespread change in his generation of rank and file crows, to the benefit of any follow-on generations. it was mentioned a little how zevran was gathering allies, even paying off guildmasters, and i think it's seen in the fact that arainai hasn't prospered and crows like teia even exist at all.

references under the cut.

[devilsrecreation]

Rating headcanons on the Outlanders made by a character hc generator pt 2

Okay hear me out….if Brutus and Nero from The Rescuers can play the organ, WHY CAN’T KIBURI PLAY THE PIANO????/hj

No but honestly, I can see Kiburi playing the piano as a secret talent of his in an au. Is he Beethoven? No. Does he do it often? Nah. But can he? Yeah, why not? 6/10

Literally hc the same thing cuz he’s that stupid. He’ll flirt with someone but be completely oblivious if that same animal flirts back. 10/10

Personally I hc him to have abandonment issues. Baby boy has lost a lot of friends and his mom at a young age so he’s always with someone. Even if he didn’t appear in “Beshte and the Beast”, I like to think he stuck with Neema. Agree 100% 10/10

I’M CACKLING HE PROBABLY WOULD JDHFHRGRG

I can see him “borrowing” his roomates’ (aka his float’s) clothes and just…never giving them back. Maybe he doesn’t realize, maybe he only does it out of spite, any way, I can see it. 7/10

AHAHAHAHAHAHA EMO VULTURE

4/10 just cuz it’s funny

Ndhdhdhdhddgdh?????

Although it’s funny to think about, I can’t really see him in any au having a diary, let alone a glittery pen. 2/10

And as a treat, I did it with Makuu, Hodari, and Pua

YOU KNOW WHAT? HE PROBABLY HAS JDHFHFGDG. Bro likes to pretend they don’t exist. If someone were to find his yearbook photos, he’d adamantly deny that kid was him. Who is that? That’s not him. He was never that scrawny. Now put that away and get back to training!

8/10

Hodari being the type to make oc’s is really interesting to me. I’m gonna go ahead and give it a 5/10 cuz it could go both ways. He could make an oc but at the same time, maybe oc’s wouldn’t he his thing. But if he did, he’s BOUND to have at least one

Yes you do, old man. Yes, you do/aff

10/10

[druckkugelschreiber]

Consider all the old immortals are actually lactose intolerant (because being able to process milk is actually a mutation) and immortality doesn't fix it.

Nile and Book are fine tho and they will brag about it

[nnicky]

I lowkey hope Joe and Nicky's introduction in TOG 2 is chaotic. Like, Nile and Andy are meeting with an important associate of Copley's and they burst in fresh from a mission/stakeout. Neither of them have slept in three days, their eyes are bloodshot, they definitely need a shower, and they are so overtired to the point of being delirious. They can barely stand up. When Andy introduces them and she's poised as ever, Nicky definitely checks out the guy and he's like "oooh oooh oooh". Andy dismisses them right after that obviously.