#the names in this game are quite funny
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Toria a.k.a. Thief Girl from ALBW… 👉👈
#altta toria#‘thief girl’ lmao#the names in this game are quite funny#but yeah she is surprisingly enough kinda relevant in one of the comics I’m making#so I thought I’d doodle her as a warmup#albw#a link between worlds#Lorule#altta#a link through the ages#loz
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freak of nature
#your turn to die#yttd#yttd fanart#midori yttd#idk how i shiuld tag him.um#wikoart#finished#i am quite enjoying this game#i just finished one of the 3.1 routes. imstarting the other tommrow#we named him gay people and it was really fucking funny#i adore him. bro laughs like fufufufu. guffaw. hate him#i love the entire cast so much like gottsamn they got me sobbing over mister fucking Burgerberg#anyways#kicking him with hammers
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i like him
#somebody needs to keep me 8 metres away at all times or else ill start chewing on him#i just want everyone to know if i end up making a character who happens to resemble harvey in any shape or form#it probably wasnt a coincidence 😐and it will happen again#if i remember maybe ill try getting stardew when it goes on sale.. my friend showed me her farm and she named her chicken after doja cat#or maybe it was nikki minaj i cant remember. and she also said smth about monsters and passing out if you stay out after a certain hour#idk how accurate tht is all i know is the funny fucked up grandpas bed#i read somewhere that harveys supposed to be in his early to mid thirties and i dont have a problem with it but i think itd be very funny#if hes actually younger than he looks hes just a med school postgrad lmao. idk how well that headcanon would hold up since ive#never played the game and idk how often ppl talk about his age or if itsjust an implied thing. i just think its really really funny#im trying to get into the habit of drawing poses so im using reference images to try and build up muscle memory#i found some cute pictures of two ppl playing by the sea shore and it reminded me of xin and sailor so im gonna draw em like that#i havent drawn em in so long..... maybe i should update xins reference since i changed their lore quite a bit#myart#my art#doodles#stardew valley#stardew#sdv#sdv harvey#kinda wanna see him whimper a little bit. as a treat
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For the micro story ask, how about number 7 (silent fury) for Pete? With your choice of other character/s <3
Ohhh, that's a good one, my friend, thank you so much ❤️ ----------------------- "Hey, P'Pete." "Hm?" "You used to do boxing, right?" "Ah... yes, why?" "What was your nickname?" "My... what?" "The name you'd been given as a fighter. Like how P'Porsche was called The Phoenix." "Well-" "Silent Fury." "Bro, you're not funny." "What? It suits him, doesn't it?" "It sounds stupid and you know it." "It does sound a little stupid, Vegas." "I only meant to emphasize your strengths, Pete." "You did a bad job." "Shut up, Macau." "Phi never answered the question. What was it?" "I... didn't have one." "You didn't? But why?" "No point for a fighter who's bad at his job." "Pete-" "No, I refuse to accept it. We're giving you one right now... Don't laugh, Phi, I'm being serious!" "Fine, Macau. Do whatever you want. But it can't be Silent Fury." "It suits you-" "Hia won't participate in the brainstorming. Only me and P'Pete." "Okay, that's it. No dinner for you." "Will I not get dinner either, Vegas?" "It depends, Pete. Are you going to behave?" "Ugh, never mind, I'm out of here. You started being gross again." "Food will be ready in an hour!" "You better have finished until then!" "No promises."
#ahhh I've wanted to write a dialogue-only snippet for quite a while and this prompt gave me the incentive to do so#(in reality it was the fact that I had no clue from whose POV to write this)#(I hope it's clear who talks when if not my apologies)#(I tried my best)#I do love angst and I did want to make this angsty but the wholesome and funny new-minor-family vibes won over#(although a little angst is there if you squint)#about the boxing thing I'm pretty sure every fighter has a name even the bad ones#but this isn't meant to be taken too seriously#and there is a chance Pete never competed in any actual events and stuff so#I took the liberty to write this regardless of what is actually true#forgive me for the lack of realism hahaha#ok I'm rambling now so I'll stop#thanks again my friend <333#vegaspete#macau theerapanyakul#ask game#yu is writing
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Party (group) party (celebratory)! (Patreon)
#Doodles#Pokemon#Gyrados#Ninetales#Sableye#Ampharos#Banette#Politoed#Pikachu#The lot! Mostly my SoulSilver guys but a kind of general mishmash of nostalgia and aiming-fors#Even tho I played Yellow when I was quite a bit younger I never beat it or got particularly attached to my 'mon and ended up selling it#Mistake I know blame the folly of youth lol#So I really consider Soul Silver as my ''first'' game - though I beat X before SS pfft just can't make it simple eh!#But I got veryyy attached to my SSteam <3 It's fun to watch them grow in the photo album! Can see most of them as babies :D#I ended up with a Vulpix named Beauty since Ninetales is my favourite Pokemon <3 I knew she'd grow into a beauty! Thusly named#And a Magikarp that I thought would be ironically funny to name Beast because well - y'know lol#Did not even occur to me Once that they'd be Beauty and Beast haha - the reasoning is so strongly connected it just didn't register!#They're a fun duo :) Fire and Water Fish and Fox hehe <3 Cute lads!#Group of four was speculations about building a really ideal team for me - Mareep Line Obviously and Ninetales goes without saying#Sableye is another really obvious one lol I love Sableye so muuuuchhhh aghhh <3 <3#Banette wouldn't exactly fill in many gaps but I've always leaned more towards Ghost and Psychic types#The Politoed doodles were just for funsies tho lol I really can't decide on a Water type I like that I haven't already exhausted!#They're silly little frog guys which I do enjoy haha#Probably not my personal pick but I like them :)#The aforementioned Yellow playthrough had me with a Pikachu I named Sparks which I then wrote fanfic about haha#Baby's first fanfic and fanart were both Pokemon! I have no idea where it'd be now as it was in a notebook but I remember the gist at least#Thought it'd be nice to bring him back to visit <3#And then some silly ones for myself lol what's a good trainer pose!#I think they're all silly lol but I do like the middle one :D#I'd love a Pokeball shirt like that! All the Pokemon things pls and thank you!
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If you’d told me that I’d be shipping a bunch of classic lit authors with each other say like, a year ago, I would’ve laughed in your face
#thank you Bungou stray dogs#normally I don’t ship real people but like this is just characters named after authors and also they’re dead so#it’s so funny hearing things out of context though like imagine being completely clueless abt this piece of media#and someone says ‘so then Nathaniel Hawthorne partnered up with fyodor Dostoyevsky and Nikolai Gogol because he was in love with#Margaret Mitchell and also at some point John Steinbeck was partners with hp lovecraft and they were in love n shit and then#f scott Fitzgerald shows up and he gathers up all the Americans because he wants to take over the Japan lit scene for his wife for whatever#reason I forgot his motives because i was too focused on everything else but the plot but anyways so then there’s this little partnership#going on between Edgar Allan Poe and his Japanese counterpart Ranpo edogawa and they’re like rivals but also quite fond of each other and#they’re very wholesome and it’s all fun and games#and then there’s the main ship of the series that’s Osamu Dazai and Chuuya Nakahara and they’re like so in love and they hate each other but#they’re also in love and then the same dynamic is shared by their mentees akutagawa and atsushi nakajima and then at some point we get clues#that the same dynamic was shared between their bosses as well and mori ougai and fukuzawa yukichi are also in love because we said so I mean#basically any ship here can and will be canon no matter what and anyways so then they all meet and then fuck shit up <3#is fanfiction abt your favourite authors put in situations <3#.txt#bsd#bungou stray dogs
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so more LN III thoughts (not as many at least, read more is just for users who are avoiding altogether)
I keep thinking abt how the single player you'll be playing with an AI like LN II, and I think the game would offer a lot of replay ability if you can choose which kid you play as as they both do different things (the wrench kid has the wrench for puzzles and breaking things, and the masked kid has the slingshot). in multiplayer it makes enough sense you can pick which one to play as, but if you can choose in single I think it'd make the game have a lot more play value and that's super cool.
the fact it has online co-op can mean so much for cool additional things, and i do hope character customisation is still there (LN with Six's masks/hats and LN II with Monos also) even if you have to unlock it which would also still offer replay ability.
#i do like that the new studio whose name i have already forgotten has kept with the hidden faces theme#it feels like the game is being made by actual fans who followed the first two closely or at least did so when being handed the project#but its still got the not quite the same feeling to me but not in a bad way rn#i cannot wait to make my friends die <3333#sixcore as it were#just a little gremlin with a wrench or slingshot here to make your life hell tee hee#im picturing LN II but in a coop setting to simulate in my little mind what LN III could be like#can u imagine doing the final run sequence when mono is getting too slow to keep up and just being on VC yelling at each other#it'd be so fucking funny i cannot wait to see what shenanigans will happen in 3#anyways very funny i was the first time some people have heard of the new game!#i had an anon forever ago tell me there were plans for LN 3 but i wasn't following since then#i actually follow a youtube acc that posts the LN music and they started posting shit abt an ln 3 and i was like#excuse me what#i was not expecting it so soon omg#ln 3#little nightmares 3#text#ooc#anyways i hope they give me the ability to aggressively swing my coop friend around and launch them off of the side of buildings < 3
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these things are always happening to the ones i like :////////
anyways the lighting in this dungeon is so nice
didn't get any good pics bc i was too busy dungeoning but so pretty...best dungeon music so far goes to snowcloak though btw
#ffxivposting#i knew it was coming bc i tried to use the google search bar as a spellcheck for his name (LOL) like a DUMBASS because in the suggestions..#i was like no!! no!! but he's so funny!!!!!! and the second he showed up in game again i started taking screenshots of me n the bestieee#it wouldnt be accurate to say that i am Emotional about this but i am like aw man...but he was so funny...insert montage of All The Memorie#was crazy seeing her looking so distressed in a cutscene. girl me too! he was so funny </3#the loud ass screenshot sound effects throughout the cutscene were funny though.this is who i am#altogether i have like 150+ screenshots of this game thus far.serious shit#IN OTHER NEWS:#- i cant stop laughing at finding out that a.lphinaud is in fact 16 years old. like i was guessing he was 17 or so but man it checks out#so hard. smart fella or not of course the sixteen year old boy naively founded a private army. it checks out so hard. hes cute :)#- since the tail end of arr patch quests ive been checking npc dialogue of relevant characters and thats a bit of a goldmine sometimes#- the first time aymeric(?) (not double checking via google ive learned my lesson) showed up i joked that he was going to be an akc type#and well no. he's really not. but i did cackle when it was revealed that he was a bastard child. clocked him on accident#- addicted to dalamud red dye. was funny when estinien started rocking his blood red armor like omg now we're Extra twinsies!#funny to me when they acknowledge the whole drg class stuff. like ah yes the Other azure drg. sorry estinien this feels like stolen valor#this is just what happens when u play f.fiv multiple times when u are r like 6. and also just think lances are sexy.#- can't wait to find out where tf the rest of the scions went. hi guys. you wont Believe what happened while you were AFK!#that's right! dragons! and then theyre like I Haven't Seen The Light Of The Sun For An Ambiguous Amount Of Time...cowabummer!#i keep joking abt needing to do a wellness check on urianger but honestly hes fine hes living it up in the sand. hes doing fine#- anyway can someone do a wellness check on ysayle(?).#- i've unlocked flight in a couple zones! thankkk god. some of these places are ROUGH to navigate without it sometimes.#- my keybinds are rough. also i have a gauge now. havent gotten to use it bc of level sync but anyway this feels like school#dont worry chat i only do duties with other real players when i Literally Have To Because They Make Me#- anyway. very ? about what theyre going to do with the rest of this story. intrigued. and quite sleepy i must say.
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#dang it do i have a new oc now
Sounds like!! I'd love to hear more if you've got it!
(referring to my tags on this post)
You will meet a stranger, sometimes, if you make a habit to frequent taverns, inns, halls for game, or even the one tree where the young Bracegirdle cousins sneak off to play marbles. Well, you will like as not meet many strangers, except in the last case, but this one will be different. Or perhaps you get lucky, and don't frequent such places, but find yourself in one unexpectedly, and meet them regardless.
Everyone in Gondor knows someone who knows someone who met Lady Luck, no one has met her themself. If you do, starry-eyed romantics say, you'll be blessed with good fortune for all your days. The pragmatists tell you you'll be blessed with the good sense to discern a scam.
He may smirk at you after winning a bet, some dark-haired man, using his earnings to buy a round for the bar. It's always a different man, but it always goes to Alwed's tab. It keeps the crowd from getting too rowdy, even if the more superstitious get on edge.
No one remembers meeting them the first time, but dwarves with common sense avoid Audr's shell games and silver-toothed smile- you always win, but it's never worth it.
A woman with greying-gold hair and stiff fingers might call herself Eadrun, and challenge you to a game of dice. Few decline, and far fewer win.
For as few elves remain in Middle Earth, the one who calls himself Herendil and laughs as though his name is a joke should be recognizable. He seems young and lighthearted in a way most have lost, but he will play you cards, win just as much as he loses, and disappear, never recognized.
A hobbit-lass may giggle, red curls gleaming in the sun, and introduce herself as Peony Sandheaver, her family is visiting from Bree, and she wants to see how Shire-hobbits play Jacks.
Sometimes an orc prays over a set of knucklebones, knowing that at least one god will hear one prayer. Orcs have little luck in battle, but uncanny luck with dice.
There are countless stories, just as many true as not. Countless names, far more unnamed figures, always just out of place enough wherever they are to be interesting and promise new tales, never enough to provoke suspicion, not at first.
Even those in the Blessed Realm may find this dark-eyed stranger. Always dark-eyed, like bottles of dark glass. They stop by Aulë's workshop on occasion, to learn and suggest and play new games. They never win the first round, but most have the sense not to bet anything they aren't willing to lose on the second.
Oromë's people call them Umbarnica with a laugh and a toast in welcome. They thrive in the drunken revels after a successful hunt, sharp as ever as they dance from game to game, cackling at ill-advised propositions offered as collateral for or against a bet. Usually this means them winning to avoid it, a frequent enough occurrence as-is, but every now and then they'll decide to let someone get lucky. The bragging rights are the real reward.
And there are no guarantees with this stranger. No way to ensure their favor, though many ways to get their attention, few good. They like irony, take pleasure in hubris reaching its fall. They love superstition, even if they don't always honor it, and they love stories. There are gods that can be mistaken for kind, they are not one of them, created to serve the king the Dark Lord could have been. Their favorites are fickle, their grudges subtle but long-held. They love cheaters, unless they're at the end of the attempt. They will always catch you, and you will always regret it. They slink through candle-shadows and pipe-smoke, grinning, dance in town squares turned to faire grounds, curl up on comfy chairs indoors on rainy days.
But sometimes, in these days, you won't meet a stranger at all. Sometimes your storyteller will get a bright-dark glint in their eyes, and some dice will roll strangely high and some dice will roll strangely low and either way the story will be better for it. And if the next time the group meets you need to take a moment to remind the storyteller exactly what happened last session, well. That's why you take notes.
So pray to the dice-god, card-master, quick-sighted. It might do you no good, but they love superstition, and they love stories. And when you play a dark-eyed stranger, don't cheat at cards.
#ask#cuarthol#umbarnica#my writing#my ocs#they play favorites with the orcs because they feel like they have bad enough luck as is so they throw them some bones#and they like the Narrative of it all#i had fun writing this#they're very amoral not in the sense of being Evil and Bad they just. don't have morals.#they're kinda like a trickster god i think. and they like underdogs but not as much as people think#in my headcanon a lot of powerful maiar were intended to serve melkor before he went all evil but not all of them also went evil#and that leaves a very interesting crack for them to fall through because they just don't really. fit. anywhere#my arien is also a case of this (sibling of the balrogs)#and ultimately the deciding factor in turning evil is mostly if they are able to find support and a purpose with people who care about them#even if they still don't quite fit in#so umbarnica is also a case of this but instead of arien who found her niche by following the formula as closely as possible#(find a vala- take a role under her doing something directly related- oh whoops Fate called so i'm going to be a good maia and do my duty)#(if i don't do everything right i'm going to go insane and then go evil. please for the love of eru let me just do my valar-damned job)#umbarnica went 'yeah you can't tell me what to do. if you try to keep me stuck here in aman i will go insane and then go evil.'#'is that what you want? no? then let me cause nice low level chaos and fun wherever i want and i'll stay out of your hair'#i think they like dnd a lot for the sheer novelty of it#a lot of their domain is gambling or adjacent so to have a game of chance that seeks to tell stories and build community is intriguing#namo is probably the one who has official jurisdiction over them? but mostly in the sense that fate and luck are tied up#he does the bare minimum to make sure they don't get out of hand. neither *likes* this arrangement but they're content with it by now#but yes i'm gonna be calling them umbarnica#is that their name? sure as much as anything can be.#i just thought that 'little doom' would be a really funny euphamism tbh
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Saw a game that interested me on steam, read the reviews, and one mentioned the credits having a 'waifu consultant' credit. It's a funny bit, but also feels (very mildly) dystopian. Everything is content, all female characters are marketable waifus.
#oc#Don't want to name the game because I do like its vibe so would rather not mark it as a subject of mockery for people who don't know it#I can think of quite a few games that probably have what effectively are waifu consultants that actually piss me off#While this is funny in a way where even my issue with it adds to the humor
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absolutely no shade to anyone on tumblr bc there’s no right or wrong way to tag things but it is pretty funny every time someone reblogs a post and tags it as every single existing iteration of that media’s name or whatever. like bestie that doesn’t do anything here on tumblr it doesn’t do anything promotional for op. you would only do that if that was your original post and you were trying to gain traction for it. meanwhile for reblogging the only purpose of tagging things is for organizational purposes so you can find it again easily. in other words reblog-tagging is for you. or the people already on your blog. you really only have to pick one tag per thing and commit to using it bestie. spare yourself the effort of typing all that mess. love yourself
#like if you looked at the tags i used you’d see that my only posts tagged as twewy or ntwewy are my original posts#bc i use those tags for traction while i spell out the names for organizational purposes aka all posts#again. do it your way if it makes you happy. but it is kinda funny to me#unless those two separate tags actually mean something different to you#(like ‘the world ends with you’ meaning specifically that game vs ‘twewy’ meaning the IP as a whole including neo and the anime or w/e)#i personally don’t like confusing the two which is why i changed ‘twewy tag’ to ‘subaseka tag’#(meanwhile i only still have one tag for twewy universe original posts and i use ‘mine: twewy’. lol. sorry i’m not quite THAT committed#as to tag og content from the two games separately. read all my posts boy)#maybe that makes me look pretentious but i was tired of having three different tags with the acronym ‘twewy’ in them#it was visually annoying to me#which is also why i changed my neo tag to a full spell out (it was previously ‘neo twewy’)#also the dreaded inconsistency between ‘the world ends with you’ and ‘neo twewy’ was just. awful.#peach rambles
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Honestly one videogame actor is worth 10 movie actors unless it's Willem Dafoe i guess because i did go insane over beyond two souls as a kid and yet never realized that was him until like, a few months ago.
#luly talks#it is genuinely so fucking funny how despite this man being in some of my childhood classics and like#being an actor my dad too likes therefore he def showed me movies w him b4#and the fact that i saw him in vydeogames and shit like#AND EVEN CONSIDERING HE'S NOT YOUR GENERIC WHITE GUY HE HAS QUITE A FACE DESPITE ALL THAT I NEVER RECOGNIZED HIM UNTIL LAST YEAR#where i just went insane yknow from 0 to 11 thats me babey but like still it is SO FUCKING BAFFLING#back to the post its obviously bc actors in games are there for way longer like. games are like long ass movies 👍 sndgtnvgbg#which are even MORE engaging#that's why i a former DBH fan watched the cabin in the woods and the quarry n wss like omg thats marcus & omg thats carl!#i did also recognize um. i forgot her name miss gilf miss. lin shaye?#oh yeah that's the name i got it right! i did recognize her too but tbf she's. she's hot#mwgekdvcenrvr like she's just too hot and iconic like. sorry i just love women ❓ so i would never forget the old lady from insidious 🙄#but i would forget John Wick's tutor despite being a fan of the movie and thinking of that scene for years i guess 😐#women privileges 😔 KWGWNDVDNRVR
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thinking bout Mei and her summoned undead bestie Mr.Funnybones again
Like, the two would probably find armor for him to trot around in, maybe a daedric set to add to that 'intimidating bodyguard' look while traveling n all. & he'd probably spawn rumors on what his face looks like (which idk if i'm going for full-on skeleton, sorta falling apart undead, or a weird ghost/spirit skeleton thing that can somehow wear heavy armor)
But the more fun thing is just kinda how these two developed into a duo? Imagine chilling in Dagon's realm after serving under his name as a member of the Mystic Dawn (granted, you got your shit kicked in rather early by the HoK) & bam! A teenage Argonian/Altmer kid summons your remaining bones to try and defend herself from bandits, and you're kinda somehow bound to her soul/magicka reserves/idk still thinking on the fuck up in the summoning process here. Neither of y'all know how to fix it either. Something frustrating at first but after a while you kinda just get used to being this weird mage's assistant/buddy
#rambling#i do need to give him a name - mei still calls him mr funny bones but he does have a name#also like he's very aware of things/not exactly in that thrall state most undead summons look to be in the games#so quite the culture shock as well. didnt even have the time 2 see what happened to Cyrodiil before Mei had to hop on her boat to Summerset#mei perdes
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I'm a tiktik influense....
#dies from cringe#lol#the movie is a movie about a stolen diamond from quebec or something like that#dont remember the name but it's a new movie#we watched it with dubs but the original in french#it was quite funny#and the humans are mainly support charecters since the CGI made cat and dog are the main charecter#so i chose the lady's “profession”#since we dont really know the guy's day job#only that he is a thief but all thiefs have a day job#so yeah#anyway#reblog#tag game#tv
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Thought of the morning that refuses to be exorcised from my brain until I release it into the wild: all of Ruju's mounts have the same rebel streak he does, and each one of them he tamed himself in some way.
The most infamous is his raptor, which is actually the very same one hatched by Ploint in that one Metrica Province event chain. Y'know. The one that immediately tries to eat its own researcher. Yeah. Ruju definitely trained it to not do that anymore. And the fact that it's now big enough to ride does not make that a bigger concern. Nope, not at all.
And his griffon? Yeah, the first time he set foot in Lornar's Pass it scooped him up and flew away like a hawk snatching a mouse. The skyscale? It bit him several times before he finally managed to get on its good side with a snack of bloodstone crystals. His jackal? He helped the djinn catch it because it went rogue mid-taming attempt, and now it won't listen to anyone but him.
In conclusion: Ruju refrains from taking his creatures into battle not to protect his creatures from the enemy, but to protect the enemy from his creatures.
#my posts#gw2 asura#gw2#Commander Ruju#this can have some tags because i said so#i'm planning to snag 2 skins when the licenses rotate back in#because the griffon is gonna be the northern featherwing and the jackal is the fulgurite ridgeback#none of the raptors feel right tho. primal maguuma is CLOSE but not quite#hopefully we get more types of feathery raptor without the metal headpiece in the future#anyway. that raptor paragraph was sarcasm he has taught it nothing#he still has to pry Inquest out of its mouth every time he takes it anywhere#(it does NOT want to spit them out)#on the bright side by the end of the ordeal they're promising to never do unethical science again#so. mission accomplished?#it also tends to eye any other asura around but it doesn't dare go for friends#hence why it keeps grabbing Inquest. he's fighting them anyway so why no snack??? HFHDHS#the jackal is just moody tho. arguably the safest as long as you don't bother it#the others all bite tho. do not pet them unless you've befriended them first#and the griffon STILL grabs Ruju and flies off sometimes. he hates that.#(the griffon thinks it's funny)#they all still need names but i'll figure that out once i have them in-game#anyway. throws this and banishes myself back to the void
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somethin’ sweet before i go ˚ ♡ ⋆。 vi + fem!reader
synopsis : when your arrest turns out to be an attractive, arrogant zaunite who’s, obviously, had a bad night, there’s one thing she asks for before being turned in. c’mon, can’t you give her something sweet before handing her to a cold cell?
—TW : kinda hate fucking , fingering , dom!vi , afab , post jinx attack
“hey, princess, any chance you’re sweet enough to loosen these up a bit?” your pinkette prisoner grunts, rolling a kink out her neck.
your expression is nothing short of unimpressed for the taunting games your newest problem has come up with. glaring up from your paperwork, you bit the inside of your cheek in frustration, “quit with the pet names—do you find your situation funny?” you turn around to face the arrogant zaunite, cuffed hands extended behind her back. you found it rather annoying how nonchalant she was—or worst, she found this amusing. “you are being detained for assault,” you continue, “that’s a night in jail, ‘sweet stuff.’” mocking her previous taunt.
she just scoffed, but it was far from being insulted. a sly smirk and dangerous blue eyes peaking beneath cherry strands looked up at you.
“ya’ think i’m sweet, princess?”
you hear the familiar clanking of metal rubbing against each other, bringing attention to her restraints.
“undo the cuffs and i’ll treat you sweet all nigh-“ her prurient statement cut off by the force of your forearm knocking into her chest, subsequently shoving her against the wall.
“you forget yourself, trencher,” your arm jabs in the smug, although rather charming (and quite attractive), outlaw’s chest, and her eye twitches in a wince. “you’re in my territory now—it’d suit you well to not make a fool of me; i’m sure you’ve been taught the same in that… mess of a city across the bridge.”
your tongue held venom as you almost seemingly spat out the insult like it was truly sickening to speak of. there’s an unspoken challenge being held between the both of your glares. you tack on a huff from your flared nostrils to seal the conversation and to warn the zaunite in front of you from talking back.
but as the tense silence subsides, the cherry-haired woman draws out a teasing smirk, scoffing again, “ever been to the undercity, sweet-cheeks?”
her question seemed more rhetorical than anything. you didn’t answer, clenching your jaw, keeping your eyes fixated on hers as to not give a look of submission. she took your quietness as a ‘no’ and raised a brow,
“thought so.”
she leaned her head in closer, as close as your arm would allow—although, there wasn’t much distance to set you apart anyways. her eyes lidded now as your confidence wavered from the almost predatory air hung around her; like when a lion, hidden in the tall grass, gets a perfect angle of their prey.
“they’d eat that pretty, little ass up as soon as you stepped foot beyond that bridge.”
you gasped, quietly, eyes widened at her obscene words. you could already feel your body betraying you, blood involuntarily heating up the plump of your cheeks.
the arm held sturdy against your prisoner was now weak, a second thought; not to her, no, that was accordingly.
calloused hands snaked their way to your waist, armored with enforcer gold, a symbol of integrity to wear, resolute.
your eyes flicked to the (god, she is attractive) woman near inches away; you were trapped in a lion’s den, she was already staring back at you.
“how di—when did you…”
so much for standing your ground—your stuttering voice gave it all away.
“what? get those things off?” she chuckled, motioning back behind her, “you were right ‘bout one thing, princess: i learned a whole deal in that ‘mess of a city’.”
she near whispered your quote, not hushed, but emphasized, troublingly so. her hands wandered, dangerously, coming to settle at the plush of your hips, hips that had you bent atop her. a deft thumb pushed pass your attire and gently circled into your bare skin.
“are you… are you gonna hurt me?” you pressed your lips in a fine line, apprehensively awaiting a dreaded answer.
but to your surprise, she paused, then snorted, and in a quick motion, she manhandled you to sit on her lap. you yelped in shock, your hands were rigid against her chest that you were so very close to now; stiff as a board as you feared for the worst.
“can’t a girl want somethin’ sweet before you send me to a cold, hard cell, huh?” now the finger in charge of exploring your supple skin came to swipe at your plush bottom lip. “but if you want it to hurt i can make that happen too.” her voice was sultry, thick with an insatiable desire.
your proximity gave you a chance to see the small initial tattooed on her cheek, “vi.” you spoke out loud, really only for you to memorize.
vi smirked, “yeah, princess? don’t wear it out just yet.”
your brows furrowed, pursing your lips; you tried to move, but vi had a firm hold on your hips that just wouldn’t let up… (not that you even tried that hard). “piltover station will be here soon… we can’t—i can’t be seen like this; this is unprofessional.”
“when’d you make that call?” honestly, vi was barely listening to your reluctance and excuses, busying herself with unfastening your gold belt that you hardly even noticed.
“an hour ago.”
“then we have an hour to ourselves. c’mon, do you really think ‘proper piltover station’ is any more worried about a call for an undercity scum than the rest of the hundred they receive a day? they’re preoccupied with the councilors after that attack… seems to me like they left you out the loop, hot stuff.”
you took offense to her insulting jab at your importance, disregarding her sing-song mockery of addressing piltover station. you reached for her wrist that was unbuttoning the blue fabric of your enforcer two-split skirt, “what is that supposed to mean?”
she took no notice to your grip and pushed aside the outer garment, glancing back up at you through that addictive, crimson hair. she gave a dry smirk, “didn’t mean to rile you up, princess—just meant that i could treat you better than them.”
that betraying flush tickled your cheeks once again, and you, rather hesitantly, let way of your grasp, allowing her to do what she needs.
she snorted, in an amused manner, tapping your thigh, “sit up.” how shameful it was for you, an enforcer, to take commands from anyone else—let alone an… undersider. yet, here you were, standing upright as she told you to, albeit a little more eager than intended; you hoped she hadn’t noticed.
she noticed.
her legs spread out on the chair, making her appear even larger than her stature gave her credit for. she bent over, resting her elbows on her thighs as she pulled at the hem of your khaki shorts. you assisted and looped two thumbs at the waistband to shimmy down your legs. your shorts pooled at your feet and vi leaned back to admire the sexy sight she had in front of her with a grin on her face.
a pretty enforcer, nervous as can be, with a half-undone uniform and pink, lace panties exposed just for her. what a contrasting view. you were captivating. already trained to take orders like a puppy, she’d think in her crude mind; you’d be her good girl for a while, you’d be so good for her.
with two fingers, she motioned for you to come sit back down on her lap; the way her legs manspread was inviting enough. you obliged, holding onto her broad shoulders.
those engrossing fingers came back to handle your hips, slowly moving to cup the mound of your ass and kneading. you huffed, painted nails digging into her trapezius.
“ya’ like pink, princess?” she mentioned your cute, lacey panties; although, now stained a darker shade.
your eyes flickered up to her hair before timidly searching anywhere else to keep your focus busy. vi found that cute, not admitting that that turned her on way more than it should.
“i don’t disdain it.” you purse your lips, “and quit calling me that.”
vi chuckled, “but you’re poised, like a princess.”
“you have no idea of me.”
“well, i know you’re risking your title just so i can get you off,” fingers go to trace the hem of your panties, her middle drags along your clit muffled by the fabric. she grins, “and by the looks of it, you’re enjoying the thrill.”
you gasp at the sensation, a feeling your pussy was aching for. “is it because you know we might get caught? geez, princess, you into that kind of thing?” she almost laughs at you, but not to mock you; she finds that hot as fuck.
adept hands push the annoying polyester to the side. fingers, rather spider-like, creep over your throbbing cunt; middle and index gather your pooling slick to act as lube as she glides over your clit.
you bite your lip to suppress a moan. you find your legs begin to tremble, being forced open by her own, keeping you spread for her to do as she likes.
“i didn’t know topsiders could be so dirty.” this time she does laugh. she rubs at your clit long enough for your heart rate to pick up, long enough for your head to find stability on her shoulder, long enough for you to become a mess in her hands… but, not long enough for you to get off just yet.
vi reaches down to your neglected hole, pressing her index atop it, deep enough for an audible squelch to echo through your office, which in turn makes vi groan. you mewl, nails digging deeper into the muscle of her back.
“not so poised now, though.” she mutters, mostly to herself. with your dripping slick, it takes nothing more than a swift movement for vi to slide her index inside you, bottoming out knuckles deep. you keen, arching off her chest. the scratch from her bandages only added fuel to the fire.
“fuck.” vi’s grip on your hip strengthens, almost certainly leaving a prominent bruise later. “do that for me again, princess.”
and she didn’t have to ask because as she pulls her finger almost fully out, tantalizingly slow, she greedily shoves it right back in, curling the tip of it to hit in that, god, that perfect spot you know so well.
and, again, you keen, long and guttural—like a silent scream. subconsciously, your pelvis bucks into her hand, searching for more than you could even take.
after a few minutes of this, vi deems herself your voice and determines you’re ready for two. she pulls out entirely, much to your dismay, teasing you with a pause.
you brace yourself for something that never comes, and you huff, slightly pushing yourself up off her shoulder,
“vi… don’t st—“
and she stuffs her middle and index into your pretty, impatient pussy.
“ah!”
“who said i was stopping, pumpkin? we just started.” you slam your head back to its assigned spot.
vi thought she was right in this moment: you looked a complete and utter mess. it was one thing to fuck a pretty girl, it was another thing that she had a topsider, an officer—someone who, to piltover, was a woman of dignity and honor… a rich, privileged somebody who hated zaunites, found them filthy and worthless…hunched over her shoulder with a sopping cunt you were practically begging her to abuse. now that’s ironic. (and was you coming undone for her maybe a little bit of a victory for her hatred of topside, that she was degrading—fucking someone so noble?)
“shit, baby,” vi cursed, biting her lip. her whole train of thought did nothing but make her more horny, and she pumped extra hard this time, making sure even the graze of her knuckle filled you up.
“when’s the last time someone’s fucked you like this?” she chuckled—you hated her smug little laugh.
you sneered, just not before you moaned into the crook of her neck, breath fanning over her black-inked tattoos. “that’s, fuck, none of your concern, underside.” you spat, but, really, your words held no weight, not like this.
“hey, no need for the name calling, princess; if you’re a virgin too that’s totally fine—honestly kinda hot.” she teased, grabbing the mound of your ass to raise you up and slam back down on her fingers. you cried, your hands instinctively reaching up to tangle in that (rememberable) cherry hair.
“i’m not!—i’ve had—ugh! i’ve done this plenty of times… not that, ah, you should need to know.”
“oh yeah? you fuck a lot of your inmates then?… or is that just my privilege?” vi leaned into your ear, knowing that’d get you going. and what do you know? it did.
and you would’ve argued back, head picked up and everything, had she not curled her fingers the way she did or twist to find an ever better playing field or, god! even the lechery in her voice had you toppling over, had you right there! yes, fuck, right there!
“fuck, vi, right there! keep going! yeah, right there, ugh!” you moaned, legs shaking, trying desperately to close and hide away from how fucking good this felt.
you bucked into her hand and you didn’t have to tell vi twice because she was already pumping extra hard and faster than before, with a combination of her thumb rubbing circles into your swollen clit.
“shit, princess. almost there?” she already knew the answer. she was groaning as if she was fucking herself; just the pure sight of you, of this, was enough… although, she’d need to engrave this memory into her brain and use it later to get off herself (she could use this picture of you to get off for years it felt like).
“vi!”
you sang like gospel, pulling her hair like you’d fall if you hadn’t. you came hard, right on her bandaged fingers and she road you through it until the only thing you could hear in the room was the lewd, wet noises coming from your hole.
she stuffed you full of your own juices and at that point, you couldn’t tell if that or her hands were more filling.
you were both panting, one more than the other. vi hoisted your left leg over hers to hold you bridal style as you settled down. bringing her hand to the light, she pulled apart her middle and index to watch your slick web between them and she weakly laughed.
blue eyes looked over to the gold, industrial clock you had sitting on your work-desk, reading a quarter til’ 12. she sighed, picking you up with her before setting you on the chair you had originally handcuffed her to.
“looks like i gotta go, princess.” she feigned innocent, as if this whole interaction was a drive by. one by one she picked up discarded clothing and crouched at your legs to dress you back up. you, too tired to protest to being treated like a child, let her dress you like a doll, even buckling up your belt.
you watched as she went to write something on a piece of sticky note paper you had sitting by your confidential files before turning to walk out the door, running a hand through her hair.
“you can’t leave—you’re… you’re under arrest.” there was no confidence in your tone, just a fucked out raspy voice.
vi stopped before leaving, hands in her pockets, “tell ‘em officer kiramann already came to pick me up, they won’t give you trouble.” she threw the hood of her red jacket over her head, reaching for the doorknob.
“oh, and… meet me at my place if you wanna do this again… okay, princess?”
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