#the loss is the same
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i kinda like akechi’s status being unknown. him being dead or purposely staying out of akira’s life are net equal, which is fun
#i think it’s fun for p5r as it exists through the protagonist’s lens#the loss is the same#him being alive or not obviously makes a difference for /akechi/ though#for p5r as through akechi’s lens there is a significant difference. i would rather he be alive yeah#more interesting. what do you do with a life you threw away?#fun for the answer to that be ‘live’ and thereby ‘not talk to your ex/homicide victim’#rambles
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cw: omegaverse
Having thoughts about dominant omega Price who helps his lads through their ruts because he's a pragmatist. He's clean, he won't get knocked up because he has that shit on lockdown, and the bloody muppets won't go biting some pretty little thing in the local villages, causing all sorts of issues. It's all part of the greater good schtick he has going on.
He takes them back to his flat when it's time so they get the whole nesting experience, cooks them a nice meal with a few beers, and then takes them to bed for the time they need to get it out of their systems.
He's attentive, performing all the chuffs, purrs and trills they need at the height of their rut to feel like they're doing a good job. Doesn't complain when Soap gets rough, or Simon is big, or Gaz likes to kiss and groom him. He bites his arm, grunts out encouragement, breathes deep through his nose when they knot him for the third time in a row without rest. When they occasionally get too excited and try to claim him, he knows how to stop it.
They're soon back to fighting fit, back on the job, focused, and he doesn't take long to be right again, even if he's feeling tender and his hormones are out of wack for a day or two. He's a professional. Mind over matter is his mantra, and it's nothing that won't repair itself with time.
Price promised them that if they followed him he'd have their backs, that he'd cut through the red tape and the obstacles. For him, using his body to carry them out of a fire fight is no different to letting them fuck and knot him to manage their ruts.
His heat though? He suffers through that on his own. Price, who can't stomach any kind of vulnerability, who can't feel like he's leaning on or needs anyone, who does everything on his own terms and no one else's. The thought of any one of his lads seeing him in that state turns his stomach; a mewling, weak, pathetic mess, unfit for command.
No, Price's heats are his private shame, and he has managed them just fine without interference for two decades, even when Nikolai kisses him one night and Simon's scent begins to change as he reaches his prime, and Price's instincts are starting to fuck with his head.
#captain john price#i just think he would view sex with the same utilitarian outlook as needing to take a shit#but less satisfying and more exhausting/messy#if he were an omega anyway#all the issues that would come with that loss of control for a man like price#he would resent his heats#and hate the loss of control
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I'm a doctor, not a miracle worker.
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#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wen ning#wei wuxian#wen qing#jiang cheng#Truly Massive disclaimer here: I am a Jiang Cheng enjoyer. I like his character. I enjoy that he is very flawed and volatile.#This episode of the audio drama has a lot of great breakdown scenes featuring JC - and they all deserve a feature.#But underlying this comic is a small meta comment of 'ah man I have too many comics of JC just wailing sadly'#My goal is to draw 6-8 comics per episode - I sometimes have to truncate and cut good scenes out.#Especially when a large majority is just different flavours of trauma and toxic relationships to your self-worth.#I would also like to make a note here that just because you lose the ability to do something that is very tied to your core identity-#-does not mean your life is over. It will feel like the end of the world. It will send you into a spiral of grief. It will hurt so badly.#Sometimes we do not realize how tied up our identities can be in certain things until we are cut loose.#You don't lose yourself. I promise the pain will fade in time. I promise you will find other things to tether you. I promise you will be ok#Life moves forwards. Time moves forwards. You move forwards.#Ego death just means an opportunity for ego rebirth. You are never committed to being the same person forever.#To wrap this around to JC: Yeah I love the twist with the core transfer but man I would have loved to see JC accept the loss.#Obviously it happens for a reason (story) but I can have my AUs. I can have these 'what-ifs'.#described in alt text#I'm trying it out! *please* give me feedback - I want to eventually Add image ID to all of these comics one day
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Look how far I went, for fear of losing you.
#they’re my roman empire#and hell bent isn’t just an episode it’s the breaking point the emotional explosion#It’s where everything gets flipped upside down when it comes to love sacrifice and pushing moral boundaries#It’s the Doctor at his most vulnerable and powerful like at the same time#he’s not just some space traveler anymore he’s a person torn apart by his own contradictions battling his nature his past traumas#his fight with himself with Gallifrey with a world that doesn’t get his pain – it’s a cry of despair straight from his soul#and that cry? It’s all because of her#the Doctor’s ready to go to any extreme step over all the moral lines he used to stand for#It’s about keeping her alive#It’s scary and mesmerizing at the same time#his love isn’t romantic in the normal way it’s more like a raging storm capable of anything to keep the person he loves safe from harm#It’s not a calm harbor it’s a hurricane tearing everything in its path#every move he makes every time he tries to touch her to hold her to protect Clara it’s soaked in this crazy all-consuming love#he’s almost obsessed with it like he’s ready to rewrite reality break every law possible just so she stays alive#and it’s not just about being attached it’s an addiction fueled by the pain of loss and the fear of feeling that pain again#he’s lost and found himself in that pain#doctor who#12th doctor#twelfth doctor#twelve#hell bent#new who#dwgifs#dr who#the doctor#nuwho#clara oswald#whouffaldi#dw#peter capaldi
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not lost on me that the conversation around white women voting for trump is “dumb bitches voting against their own rights, can’t trust them ever” while the narrative for white men is “oh no how can we get them back*? we must have hurt their feelings, we need to be nicer to them!”
*we never had them to begin with
#i don’t necesssrily think that the reaction to white women is unwarranted#but it’s wild to see both happening at the same time#especially considering that democrats had gains with white women and losses with (young) white men
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The only thing I remember is killing people. You say I'm someone who saves people. I won't kill you — but I don't believe you either. Do you think I'm a fool? You're not a fool. Mysterious Lotus Casebook (2023) | Ep. 20
#mysterious lotus casebook#莲花楼#li lianhua#di feisheng#cheng yi#xiao shunyao#cdrama#cdramaedit#cdramasource#asiandramasource#mlcedit#*gifs:mine#the fact that this is one of the rare occasions that li lianhua is actually being honest#because di feisheng ///did/// try to save him#(he didn't succeed but... semantics. *li lianhua voice* it doesn't matter. also — not too important.)#at the same time he's employing the honesty in the middle of taking advantage of his memory loss to get him to do his bidding#this man is unbelievable.#BUT what's even more unbelievable is that despite the manipulation#his smile at the end is 100% sincere.#and it says i know you; you know me#you see — we're a matching set#you have me written in your palm; i have you running in my veins#i know we all like to joke that li lianhua physically cannot stop himself from telling lies every time he opens his mouth#but actually sometimes#even when he's telling lies#he cannot help but be genuine#and every time i think about it too much i want to run into traffic
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they are all the same btw
#they are mirrors etc#they all mean the world to me!!!#i mean they are their own characters obviously#and they are all amazing#but they are the same also#iykyk#spn#it's all about loss and grief#it's about being driven by love even despite of it all#but also the daddy issues the being forced into a role etc#anywayyyy
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Lyra, my beloved cat of 13 years, passed away this year on Father's Day. She's been by my side through very difficult times and was my little rock of steady and unrelenting love. I struggled a lot drawing this, and struggled a lot posting it, but I know I would've wanted to read a comic like this that validated my grief for her when I lost her.
Wherever you are, Lyra my little summer star, I love you always! Thank you for being the best thing in my life.
#my art#comic#comics#pet loss#grief#dealing with grief#truly did not think I would survive her loss#it has been very difficult if I can be honest#it's been 6 months and I still cry most days#But currently I have a foster cat in my home#She's not at all the same as Lyra#But I'm learning the capacity of my heart to grow larger to allow another cat to live in it#my heart is a home to many cats
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'Angel Sua' has eyes that interest me in the "damn,,, I see em" way and the "this must be another aspect of her religious themes" kind of way, I mean that only because her pupils are so big, I almost think it's meant to look similar to a biblical angel, they have eyes like that to signify their all-knowing awareness, I see it as a connection to Sua's inherently omniscient and mysterious nature
#no... i have no idea what im saying... i just love angel sua imagery#i think her abnormally big pupils are more obvious on the 2nd pic#side note... sua...#i love when sua looks creepy#anytoodles#if god is all-knowing of our destiny and sua is mizi's god then sua's knowledge of her fate and the true reality of this world gives me tha#angel imagery#idea#obviously sua's not a typical angel... i also want to know the significance behidn making mizi the demon instead of an angel#or she may be a fallen angel but anytoodles#sua dying was essentially the catalyst of Mizi's loss of innocence and purity but after sua dies she just.. never changes#hhhhh bak#alien stage#alnst#alien stage sua#alnst sua#jjjeez I LOVE SUABUA RELIGIOUS ANGEL IMAGERY#and dialated pupils absorb light same way sua gravitates to mizi... her beacon of life sharts
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The reason I took interest in AI as an art medium is that I've always been interested in experimenting with novel and unconventional art media - I started incorporating power tools into a lot of my physical processes younger than most people were even allowed to breathe near them, and I took to digital art like a duck to water when it was the big, relatively new, controversial thing too, so really this just seems like the logical next step. More than that, it's exciting - it's not every day that we just invent an entirely new never-before-seen art medium! I have always been one to go fucking wild for that shit.
Which is, ironically, a huge part of why I almost reflexively recoil at how it's used in the corporate world: because the world of business, particularly the entertainment industry, has what often seems like less than zero interest in appreciating it as a novel medium.
And I often wonder how much less that would be the case - and, by extension, how much less vitriolic the discussion around it would be, and how many fewer well-meaning people would be falling for reactionary mythologies about where exactly the problems lie - if it hadn't reached the point of...at least an illusion of commercial viability, at exactly the moment it did.
See, the groundwork was laid in 2020, back during covid lockdowns, when we saw a massive spike in people relying on TV, games, books, movies, etc. to compensate for the lack of outdoor, physical, social entertainment. This was, seemingly, wonderful for the whole industry - but under late-stage capitalism, it was as much of a curse as it was a gift. When industries are run by people whose sole brain process is "line-go-up", tiny factors like "we're not going to be in lockdown forever" don't matter. CEOs got dollar signs in their eyes. Shareholders demanded not only perpetual growth, but perpetual growth at this rate or better. Even though everyone with an ounce of common sense was screaming "this is an aberration, this is not sustainable" - it didn't matter. The business bros refused to believe it. This was their new normal, they were determined to prove -
And they, predictably, failed to prove it.
So now the business bros are in a pickle. They're beholden to the shareholders to do everything within their power to maintain the infinite growth they promised, in a world with finite resources. In fact, by precedent, they're beholden to this by law. Fiduciary duty has been interpreted in court to mean that, given the choice between offering a better product and ensuring maximum returns for shareholders, the latter MUST be a higher priority; reinvesting too much in the business instead of trying to make the share value increase as much as possible, as fast as possible, can result in a lawsuit - that a board member or CEO can lose, and have lost before - because it's not acting in the best interest of shareholders. If that unsustainable explosive growth was promised forever, all the more so.
And now, 2-3-4 years on, that impossibility hangs like a sword of Damocles over the heads of these media company CEOs. The market is fully saturated; the number of new potential customers left to onboard is negligible. Some companies began trying to "solve" this "problem" by violating consumer privacy and charging per household member, which (also predictably) backfired because those of us who live in reality and not statsland were not exactly thrilled about the concept of being told we couldn't watch TV with our own families. Shareholders are getting antsy, because their (however predictably impossible) infinite lockdown-level profits...aren't coming, and someone's gotta make up for that, right? So they had already started enshittifying, making excuses for layoffs, for cutting employee pay, for duty creep, for increasing crunch, for lean-staffing, for tightening turnarounds-
And that was when we got the first iterations of AI image generation that were actually somewhat useful for things like rapid first drafts, moodboards, and conceptualizing.
Lo! A savior! It might as well have been the digital messiah to the business bros, and their eyes turned back into dollar signs. More than that, they were being promised that this...both was, and wasn't art at the same time. It was good enough for their final product, or if not it would be within a year or two, but it required no skill whatsoever to make! Soon, you could fire ALL your creatives and just have Susan from accounting write your scripts and make your concept art with all the effort that it takes to get lunch from a Star Trek replicator!
This is every bit as much bullshit as the promise of infinite lockdown-level growth, of course, but with shareholders clamoring for the money they were recklessly promised, executives are looking for anything, even the slightest glimmer of a new possibility, that just might work as a life raft from this sinking ship.
So where are we now? Well, we're exiting the "fucking around" phase and entering "finding out". According to anecdotes I've read, companies are, allegedly, already hiring prompt engineers (or "prompters" - can't give them a job title that implies there's skill or thought involved, now can we, that just might imply they deserve enough money to survive!)...and most of them not only lack the skill to manually post-process their works, but don't even know how (or perhaps aren't given access) to fully use the software they specialize in, being blissfully unaware of (or perhaps not able/allowed to use) features such as inpainting or img2img. It has been observed many times that LLMs are being used to flood once-reputable information outlets with hallucinated garbage. I can verify - as can nearly everyone who was online in the aftermath of the Glasgow Willy Wonka Dashcon Experience - that the results are often outright comically bad.
To anyone who was paying attention to anything other than please-line-go-up-faster-please-line-go-please (or buying so heavily into reactionary mythologies about why AI can be dangerous in industry that they bought the tech companies' false promises too and just thought it was a bad thing), this was entirely predictable. Unfortunately for everyone in the blast radius, common sense has never been an executive's strong suit when so much money is on the line.
Much like CGI before it, what we have here is a whole new medium that is seldom being treated as a new medium with its own unique strengths, but more often being used as a replacement for more expensive labor, no matter how bad the result may be - nor, for that matter, how unjust it may be that the labor is so much cheaper.
And it's all because of timing. It's all because it came about in the perfect moment to look like a life raft in a moment of late-stage capitalist panic. Any port in a storm, after all - even if that port is a non-Euclidean labyrinth of soggy, rotten botshit garbage.
Any port in a storm, right? ...right?
All images generated using Simple Stable, under the Code of Ethics of Are We Art Yet?
#ai art#generated art#generated artwork#essays#about ai#worth a whole 'nother essay is how the tech side exists in a state that is both thriving and floundering at the same time#because the money theyre operating with is in schrodinger's box#at the same time it exists and it doesnt#theyre highly valued but usually operating at a loss#that is another MASSIVE can of worms and deserves its own deep dive
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universal healthcare is not broken and anyone trying to convince you it is is delusional and a dckrider for big health insurance. yes there are wait times but waiting for care is Not the same as being denied care.
in america your physician prescribes care and an insurer can still cuck you out of it because someone across the continent who has never met you can say: doesn’t seem medically necessary. Leaving you to handle a bill that is wildly inflated by the same insurers that just denied you.
let me drill it through your head you can pay thousands a year in premiums and still end up sick and financially burdened for years by One incident. no insurance company is Avoiding going broke by denying claims. theyre doing it to profit off your misfortune and your illness. Because healthcare fundamentally does not cost the amount that they claim it to be.
#delete later#out of pocket rant#i hate these god awful takes on universal health care#and i hate this oh he killed a father#how many fathers do you think uhc let die be real with me#oh 8 billion is only 6% profit margin#bitch it could be 2 percent it could be a negative loss#this is me saying oh i resold a shoe for $60 after buying it for $50 when i also made it for 80 cents#i have been denied things like chest xrays and lung exams#i btw have had a chronic cough for 4+ years#in canada i got this done on the same fking day and results back within a month#there are indeed horror stories and on both sides of know ppl who died due to delayed diagnosis#and ppl who died bc they didnt even want the diagnosis it would have cost them too much#but robbing someone of the choice in my opinion is the worse of the two#putting someone in an impossible position like that is evil#this country love god so much better start praying u stay healthy bc thats the most important thing#also like those horror stories of wait times in the er#im gonna be real if u have severe stomach pain are actively bleeding heart attack or stroke#you will be seen asap#yes if unfortunately everyone around u that day decided to have a stroke or heart attack ur appendicitis will be punted down the line#this is a resource issue NOT a cost issue#this is a they also cut funding to nursing school and limited the number of ppl who can pursue medical degrees issue#not a we dont have privatized health care issue#bc ultimately u need a doctor to see u#not someones sister who is taking stabs at it#and every doctor is bound by the concept of time???#u still have to wait in america ur Charged for it also#and yall it doesn’t even have to be a Big incident#ur local urgent care might just be closed after 8pm and at 9pm u need stitches#or have severe stomach pains and just want it checked
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You know what? You know what I think?
I think that if we lived as we were meant to, in larger intimate ("extended family") groups and with more shared labor and time to do it (UBI NOW) people like me would not feel so useless and burdensome because there would be people around to help and to do what neurodivergent people can't while making valuable space for the neurodivergent to do what they ARE good at.
The way we live right now, all right, the way we live right now forces units of two adults to be able to do EVERYTHING or PAY to have someone come do it for them. I have to do the housework. I have to do it! But I am having to do a million different things and most of them I am not good at. I suck at them.
I wouldn't feel like shit, okay, if I had more than one other person around who was not a child and who could do the things I can't, like do the yard and cook and do repairs and basic maintenance; and someone else to split everything else that I like but is too much for me. It would free me to do what I am good at and enjoy. Cleaning, as in the sink and toilet, the windows, the blinds. Taking out trash. Folding, hanging, and sorting laundry.
But because all the shit I can do often relies on other shit being done first, and I can't do or have trouble doing those things, the shit I can do often can't be done. And even the shit I can do, I can't do ALL of it. So I can't keep up, and things get very bad.
We aren't meant to live like this. We are not meant to live like this.
That thought hurts so much because being able to flee the birth family is integral to survival for so many people. I'm so afraid that living in larger family groups would create more opportunities for, say, queer kids to be isolated, rejected, bullied, and abused. But if we gave people enough money to survive, and stopped considering children the property of their parents with no system in place to help them escape bad situations except a system that is often just as bad, just different.
I'm aware that communes and collectives aren't all that successful and are kind of a joke. I don't mean that. I mean a fundamental shift to multigenerational families where taking in "strays" (which my family did) is also normalized so people escaping abuse into existing households was accepted, with these families centered in maybe a couple of different larger residences so not everyone has to buy and maintain their own fucking washing machine and vacuum cleaner, and so people can benefit from large group meals that yield leftovers, and so child and elder care can also be centralized.
Then disabled people and the neurodivergent and sick and injured people, and pregnant people, and grieving people, would not have to either labor through all those stressors or consign themselves to living off an unlivable pittance or being put under legal guardianship.
I'm not saying anything new. People live like this in other parts of the world and maybe it sucks and I am wrong. But I'm just really mad right now because I can either do laundry or clean the sink but not both, and I really think we could improve society somewhat by making it so I did not have to choose one without sacrificing the other.
#im feverish feeling (not a real fever just malaise that i have no other way to describe) from the IBS (which can affect you like that#)#and i don't actually want to do ANYTHING#i would have to even living with others but it would be easier#at the very least i wouldn't have had to clean the microwave earlier which is hard because my arms are like the size of a meerkat's#and i can only reach the back with my fingertips#where is my BF in all this?#WORKING FULL TIME WITH BACK PAIN#yes i AM going to want him to have to do as little as possible when he comes home#he's neurodivergent too and struggles with the same shit#it's all a mess#we are doing way better i didn't realize how deep a drain three very sick cats were#but there's still only two of us#if you are disabled physically OR MENTALLY you should at least get in-home household help once a week or so#there's places that do that but the limitations are usually severe and always rule me out#because im not single im not an elder im not a veteran and im not physically disabled#if we have to ration that sort of thing i can see how on the whole it is more caring to allocate those resources to for example elders#but the fact that i celebrate what help there is doesn't mean i don't get mad that more people can't access it#is2g if i was functional enough snd physically sound enough i would start a charity that did intervention cleaning for people like us#who have fallen behind and can't catch up but can MAINTAIN#and who helped people clean for a few months during and after an illness pregnancy trauma major loss etc. so they could stay on their feet
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art by Chris Trevas/// Mhairi McFarlane, You Had Me At Hello/Holding On by Shane/ Lang Leaf, Twin Flames/ first eye drawing by Alice X. Zhang/ second eye close up art by Tony Pro/ The Song of Achilles/ to speak of precious evenings by littlekaracan/ battlefront ll stills/ Hamilton the Musical, who lives, who dies, who tells your story/mark z. danielewski, house of leaves/ 5000 letters/ Bastille, the Anchor/ fyodor dostoyevsky, the brothers karamazov/ Kote Darasuum/ Vode An/ street art/ The Arcadian Wind, envy green/ Margaret Atwood, There are better ways of doing this/ Power Politics Emily Dickinson, In this short life that only lasts an hour/ Maggie Smith, First Fall/ Carl Friedrich Lessing, "The Hermit" (art) + November by Margaret Atwood/ Brandon Sanderson, The Final Empire/ The Bad Batch s2EP03 screenshot of Cody/ Alan Stephan Foster, "The Fall" (art) + poem by @erdarieldraws
a gift for my codywan besties cilly, tea, kasey, aixa and lauren🫶
#star wars web weaving#codywan#obi wan kenobi#commander cody#codywan web weaving#web weaving#star wars#the clone wars#tragic love#loss#grief#betrayal#star crossed lovers#almost lover#soulmates#this was a fucking pain in the ass to make and at the same time such a joy#i hope people scream at me in the tags lmaoo then I've achieved codywan feels#more incoming#long post
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Alas, this beautiful dream could not last.
#dungeon meshi#falin touden#dungeon meshi spoilers#better drawn mdzs#(<- my higher effort art tag. I need to get a new one.) While it's different from my usual style I really loved how this came out!#Strolling back to the art scene to remind everyone I am still a lover of botanicals.#I had a blast with the symbolism for this one:#White lilium longiflorum (easter lily) for rebirth. Purple hyacinthus orientalis for sorrow and forgiveness.#Red spider lily (Lycoris radiata) for loss and death.#'Rebirth into something new' is so well done in Dungeon Meshi. She is back but she is not the same.#The last few episodes/chapters gives her this dreamy quality to her. As if she's not quite real. She's so perfect in their memories.#And as we know of dreams - no matter how sweet- they must end once we wake up.#It is so painful to lose someone twice. To see someone you loved in a dream and wake up and remember that loss again.#Dungeon Meshi being a grief allegory is important to me. I'll explain more as the story continues B'*)
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pretty janky gif but I wanted to compare my simon design to my ice king design. behold! old person
#adventure time#simon petrikov#ice king#gif#adventure time fanart#artists on tumblr#character design#my version of ice king does wear glasses. but he doesn't need them#in canon his glasses are missing to indicate a loss of Self. right.#with simon putting on his glasses showing that he's regained his sense of self#HOWEVER!!! I'm also very fond of the idea that he IS still in there somewhere. with the glasses representing that#GET HIM BROWN CONTACTS NNOOWWWW!!!!!!#I have ANOTHER version of simon where he has one eye that's still blue. same side as his white hair#but that's not super canonical considering golb returned him to his ORIGINAL original state#the glasses don't look great here I'm aware!!
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whatever happened to the man of tomorrow?
#for the record this has nothing to do with the story#i was gonna use a song but i couldn't have 'legible without zooming in' and 'the illusion of it being a spread' at the same time#and was at a loss of how to caption it otherwise dskjfhs#orphan farmboy. you understand.#Ardbert#speedpaint#fanart#i draw sometimes#Final Fantasy XIV#trying to figure out how to colour this though#i've tried my usual light + desaturated colours for ardbert when limited to cmyk and it didn't come out how i wanted it to that time#so finding something new was in order
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