#the look of a 6th form teacher!

[nomilkinmyteaplease]

Ronan Raftery in his new film Royal Rendezvous, coming to us soon :)

[niniiko]

Astrology Observations

*not a profesional astrologer these are just my personal observations

🎀 Leo risings with Saturn in Cancer individuals tend to not like being the center of attention and actually dislike being in the spotlight, they also tend to be shy individuals (all depends on the different placements!!!)

🎀 You tend to enjoy doing daily activities such as cooking, taking a walk, going grocery shopping etc... with the sign that falls in your 6th house, the 6th house is all about daily activities and collegues so if you have an Aquarius 6th house you might enjoy doing daily activities with Aquarius placements

🎀 People who have a LOT of 5th house synastry might have a very intense yet short relationship and if the south node or moon is also aspecting it they could still miss or remember each other for a very long time

🎀 Scorpio moons always have this darkness in their face, they are very intimidating if they are not speaking or smiling, these individuals also tend to have very dark or bushy eyebrows

🎀 If you have an 11th house stellium you could either be very detached from your friends to the point of ghosting them or very close to your friends to the point of thinking of them as your family, these people usually need companionship to be stable and can get lonely and sad if they don't have friends

🎀 Gemini mercuries always have this high-pitched tone of voice, whenever they talk it seems as if they are smiling while talking and i think it's very very cute

🎀 Taurus placements usually show affection through actions not words

🎀 Mars conjunction pluto individuals have a lot of stamina if they are tired they are quick to recharge energies (depending on the sign and its aspects)

🎀 Pisces placements and their eyes or lips . . . they have the prettiest eyes ever and their lips are either very plump or small but they always have something beautiful to them that may be shape, color . . . (could also apply to people who have pisces degrees 12° 24° in their big three, sun moon or rising)

🎀 Virgo placements (Sun, moon, rising and even virgo degrees 6° & 18°) like to do things correct and perfectly or they rather not do it all, they are extremely perfectionist and if something doesn't turn out they way they wanted they can get pretty frustrated with themselves, this is a reminder to be patient with yourself ♥️

🎀 Capricorn over the 3rd house and the way they are so passionate about their goals and studies??? They are always so hard working and they want to be the best in their class, typical bookworm that nobody talks to and everyone thinks they are stupid but they are actually a smartass

🎀 Unevolved Aries placements find it hard to own up to their mistakes and say sorry

🎀 Air moons are always analyzing every single emotion until they become numb, you are not a robot, you are allowed to feel emotions, they are teachers, pay attention to them

🎀 Libra moon over the 11th house might evade conflict with their friends, they despise having fights with friends

🎀 Cancer mercuries most of the time have such femenine and cute voices

🎀 Scorpio moon with an Aquarius MC (midheaven) could be interested in psychology, this is because Scorpio wants to know everything thats hidden, they want to know the unseen and Aquarius is a very humanitarian sign, they want to help society for the better and with the help of Scorpio they make a very great combination for psychologists or someone whos interested in psychology

🎀 Virgo risings love to look put together and even if they didnt put any effort into their appearance they always seem to manage how to look good

🎀 Earth mars women tend to like doing a natural makeup type of look or they don't wear makeup at all

🎀 If someones rising sign is your venus sign there could be some form of jealousy from the venus person towards the rising sign person, but it could go both ways

🎀 Nobody will understand you better than someone who has the same moon sign as you, you will always feel safe and at home with them, it's like you've known them for forever, people who share this placement usually have a one in a billion type of connection

🎀 You might disagree a lot of times with someone who has their mercury in opposition to yours, you might not share the same views in a topic and it's hard to get along with them

🎀 You look up to someone who has their moon in the sign of your 10th house

[cupidastrology]

𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐧𝐞𝐫'𝐬 𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐨𝐢𝐝 𝐥𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝟏𝟐 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐬 *:ꔫ:

do not repost or copy.

read about this asteroid here .

the code for asteroid lust is 4386; please place it in your birth chart through this website (the best <3)

༶•┈┈⛧┈♛ ♛┈⛧┈┈•༶

partner's asteroid lust in the 1st - you can sense the sexual tension between eachother. they adore your style, your looks, and the way you walk through life.

°。°。°。°。°。°。°。゜。°。°。°。

partner's asteroid lust in the 2nd - sexual tension is highly emotional and projected onto your desires, wants, and needs. your partner will want to focus on the emotional intimacy of you completely.

°。°。°。°。°。°。°。゜。°。°。°。

partner's asteroid lust in your 3rd: your thoughts, way of expression behavior wise, and the online world may entice your partner to understand what goes on inside your head. they want to know what happens on the inside, especially in the way you perceive the world.

°。°。°。°。°。°。°。゜。°。°。°。

partner's asteroid lust in your 4th: they may crave scenarios involving reproduction and having a baby. pregnancy kinks, a childhood friend may be a big deal with this position.

°。°。°。°。°。°。°。゜。°。°。°。

partner's asteroid lust in your 5th: sexual influence around music, art, and dance are known in this connection. be careful that this type of synastry may indicate many flings and not exactly a concrete connection with this person sexually (but with lots of fun).

°。°。°。°。°。°。°。゜。°。°。°。

partner's asteroid lust in your 6th: this person's influence may want you to get on your knees and care for them thoroughly. your partner feels turned on when you are able to nurse them back to health, motivate them, or be their general support.

°。°。°。°。°。°。°。゜。°。°。°。

partner's asteroid lust in the 7th: kinks may range from scenarios involving a honeymoon after a wedding, office sex, or engaging in general marriage related sex. they want to feel that they have a complete union with you in all forms.

°。°。°。°。°。°。°。゜。°。°。°。

partner's asteroid lust in the 8th: your partner may have a very strong influence over you in a general strong sexual form. your partner will shower you in gifts and many investments that will want you to stay with them, but also to crave the almost toxic connection you both could have. this is the highs and lows intimacy you can't go back on.

°。°。°。°。°。°。°。゜。°。°。°。

partner's asteroid lust in the 9th : travel and newfound knowledge (and sex) will broaden you and your partner's connection. your partner could be turned on by your intellect or your desire to learn in your own perspective. professors and teachers are an attraction.

°。°。°。°。°。°。°。゜。°。°。°。

partner's asteroid lust in the 10th: the influence of this person will want to show you with attention, causing gossip and jealousy from peers. you will be worshiped like you are a queen or king or a person that is in the heavens. think of the birth of ︎ ♀︎.

°。°。°。°。°。°。°。゜。°。°。°。

partner's asteroid lust in the 11th: you may develop a very keen and strong sexual connection between you and your partner through a friendship; friends to lovers may be a big deal but also a desire to connect with others openly sexually may be a major influence from the partner.

°。°。°。°。°。°。°。゜。°。°。°。

partner's asteroid lust in the 12th: your partner has a very subconscious and dreamlike connection with you. they may have wet dreams or cause sexual notions to happen in the connection, helping you to understanding where they start and where they end. you can both help eachother understand intimacy in your own raw forms.

°。°。°。°。°。°。°。゜。°。°。°。

asteroid lust readings are open! message me privately for details.

[izzywantscheesecake]

sick day-hobie brown

Today was a bad day.

You thought you had gotten rid of your sickness for good yesterday, but that was just the appetizer in the huge buffet of nausea your body was preparing especially for you.

You had begged your parents a second time to let you stay home from school, and they let you, albeit slightly skeptical about how sick you claimed to be. You hoped whatever was in you would disappear by the next day, because they told you after today they wouldn’t let you commit truancy any longer.

Nobody was in the house with you, everyone you lived with had work and their own personal things to deal with, so you had to treat yourself.

You stayed in bed all morning, not getting anything done and occasionally using your energy to get up and use the bathroom or go to the kitchen.

It hadn’t even hit you how much time had passed before it was around 3, the usual time your school ended. You wiped a bead of sweat off your forehead, annoyed about how lazy you’ve been all day even though it really wasn’t your fault.

Succumbing to your low energy, you began to feel your eyelids droop and your body relax. Just before everything went black, a sudden banging at your window caused you to jolt awake.

You shifted up in your bed, thinking the source of the noise might’ve been a squirrel or a pigeon, but a tall silhouette standing by your balcony told you otherwise.

Slowly pulling yourself out of the sheets, you walked towards your window, eyes beginning to sparkle once you recognized what was standing there.

It was your friend, Hobie Brown, from 6th form. He still had his uniform on, indicating he came to your house immediately after school ended, and he was holding about three bags, evenly spread out on each arm.

You unlocked your window, giving him access to your room, and he stepped in, his boots gruffly making contact with your wood tiled floor.

“Hey, Y/N. A little birdie told me you were feeling a bit iffy this week.”

“A bit? I’ve been bedridden all day. I only just got up to let you in,” You replied, swiftly pulling yourself under the warm sheets of your bed again.

Hobie examined you for a few seconds, before letting out a snort.

“Man, you look terrible. But not to fear, Hobie is here. And he’s brought you a whole lot of sacred scroll texts from the lost city of Atlantis.”

Hobie placed the first bag down, and took out a purple folder, which he then handed to you in a mock regal manner.

You opened the folder, and saw exactly what you expected to see in there. Three worksheets of linear algebra, and a packet containing some Shakespeare text with short response questions.

“Wow, thanks. My maths and literature homework.”

“I know, I’m amazing, right? Tell me why when I went to collect your work from maths, the teacher said she didn’t even think I attended school anymore.”

“Well, that lady’s always been quite senile. But then again, you’re constantly skiving so I also can’t blame her for thinking that. What’s in the other bags?”

“Some gifts.”

He opened the second bag, and you were delighted to see a pack of Cadbury chocolate bars, accompanied with a teddy bear and other various confectionaries.

Just as you were about to go all in, he stopped you.

“Wait. Have you eaten any real food all day?”

“No.. I’ve just been laying here.”

“I thought so.”

He opened the third and final bag, which was chicken broth, some spices, and a pack of noodles.

“Why did you..”

“I’m going to make you soup, silly. Consider me your private nurse.”

“You have too much free time. I’ll be fine, just go home.”

“Mmm, no. Any road, direct me to your kitchen. I’ve only ever seen your room.”

“It’s down the hall to the left. But I can show you, just follow m-”

You made a few attempts to stand up, and every time you did, Hobie would just gently shove you back onto the bed.

“Nuh uh. You stay here, let me take care of you.”

Eventually, you realized it was no use trying to fight him and you felt yourself sinking deeper down into the bed as you listened to him cook in the kitchen, humming some tune you’ve never heard of.

After maybe 30 minutes, Hobie re-entered your room with a tray of soup accompanied by tea. Also on the tray was a thermometer you assumed he must’ve stolen from your bathroom.

He gently placed the tray of food down, grabbing the thermometer and setting it closer to your lips.

“Okay, now open your mouth.”

“You’re serious about this nurse thing, aren’t you?”

“Yes. Now say, aaah,” He replied.

You opened your mouth and closed it once the thermometer was in. The both of you waited about a minute, before Hobie pulled it out of your mouth and examined the temperature.

“Holy shit, 38 degrees celsius. You’re burning up, Y/N.”

You shrugged as he put the thermometer down on your bedside table and picked up the tray of food, placing it gently in front of you.

“Start eating this while I get you a warm towel.”

The broth of the soup was better than expected, probably because Hobie also added additional seasoning. The tea was also good, you could taste a hint of honey which was helpful for your sore throat.

Hobie came back with the warm towel and placed it on your forehead to relieve congestion.

For the next hour, the two of you sat together, laughing and joking. Hobie told you about the latest drama at school that you’ve missed, and also talked about things he did over the weekend.

It was a very simple conversation, but you enjoyed it a lot, Hobie really had a way of making uninteresting things interesting.

Suddenly, you heard the sound of a car pulling up to your driveway, and immediately snapped your head up to check the time on the clock.

It read, “16:46.”

“Hobie, you gotta get out of here. My parents didn’t want anyone to show up to the house today.”

He quickly nodded, cleaning up as much as he could before unlocking the window. Before he jumped out, he gave you a glance.

“And don’t forget, that’ll be £150.”

You scoffed jokingly. “I said, get out of here.”

He smirked, before jumping out the window and taking off down the street.

As soon as Hobie was out of the picture, you heard your room door open, and your parents walked in.

They questioned the soup and tea on the counter in the kitchen, and you told them you had started to feel better, and made it for yourself.

Today might’ve actually been a good day.

[moon8th]

Thoughts on Sagittarius Risings 💭

Spreading their Truth

The Ultimate Rebel placement, there are literally too many forms of pictures/music/art in general I can’t fit on this 1 post about these expansive Jupiter natives

Sagittarius is tapped into the higher chakras, (knowing, thinking, speaking) acting as “The Teacher” archetype, some able to touch the world 🌍!! don’t get too self righteous about that saggy, stay grounded, honestly I think life naturally humbles us anyway

~Bob Marley ~Jimi Hendrix

Rockstar Lifestyle!! Bc of there Gemini 7th house ong these natives want to learn about anything they deem will expand their minds for the best! Most Sag Risings desire to travel the world!! Explore and experience, they deeply impact there partners life by expanding their psyche and expanding their own

Aries 5th house,, these natives are most creative when they are just expressing themselves, (Aries is the self) so whatever fires them up emotionally and makes them passionate is wholeheartedly what you’ll see them lean into!

Humanitarians! Every single person I list on this post is/was for the people, Libra 11th house makes them see “the other, the partner” on a societal level. They really do care and want to help the world as much as they can

~Jhene Aiko ~Erykah Badu

“I am Alice, I’m in Wonderland” ~Jhene Aiko Bc of their Pisces 4th house, ooof these people come from such a confusing upbringing! As they grow, they wake up from their dream-like state and feel the extreme need to bring big truth and healing to the world (Virgo 10th house)

Sag 1st house, something is always big about them lol, it most likely is their presence in general (aura) but added to that it can also be their huge smile/muscle prominence/really tall/ really short/eyes/voice/etc.

Aquarius 3rd house, our mouths are slliiiicckk lmaaoo fast and sharp🔪, maybe we should check ourselves before we speak 😭😭, but some ppl need to hear the truth 🗣️🗣️

~Bruce Lee ~Wiz Khalifa

They are heartthrobs. please just look @ them broo 😭 too unique

But fr bc of their stubborn Taurus 6th house, they should build a healthy everyday routine, they can really benefit from doing some form of spiritual/traditional/body centering workout such as martial arts/yoga/kickboxing/swimming/weightlifting/etc.

Tattoos for us can be spiritual af, I have very sentimental ones, but look up Jhenes fr

As a Sag Rising, I always get called “spiritual” by ppl whether they mean it in a nice way or not.. which is fine when ppl are being nice🫶🏽 , but the people that are judgmental, they’re just trying to tame me, it backfires- I dare someone to try to tame a Sag Rising 😭😭✌🏽🖕🏽

~Nelson Mandela ~Princess Diana

Wellllll I feel as though these 2 don’t need an intro lmaoo, I forgot that they even knew each other!! Big Humanitarian Energy!!

Scorpio 12th house.. tbh it’s hard for me to fully grasp this placement bc it’s mine, however I do know it can make someone very intuitive- you can literally look at Diana in old videos and tell by her eyes she was reading everyone correctly

Tropical Sagittarius in Vedic can be the nakshatras Anuradha, Jyeshta, and Mula, which one is your ascendant?

All I can say is wHAT a line up! I tried not to be too bias, but I love us fr lol 🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽 lmk what y’all think

[strxwberrychocolate]

˗ˏˋ bittersweet ࿐ྂ Fujio and the girl who’s been in love with him since middle school

notes: based off the boy I've loved since 6th grade who I know will never like me back and resembles fujio's personality a little too much. It's going to be 8 years as of 2023 October and I'm still not over him but it's okay, I'm alright with pining. the oc is literally just a self-insert so it's a mirror of myself and this is written in first-pov. long story short, this is my life story put into a short fic

warnings: canon-typical violence, recreational drug use, underage drinking, alcohol abuse, smoking, mentions of abusive relationships, implied physical abuse, mentioned eating issues, weight-related talk, shotgun kisses, blood, mentions of periods, references to depression, victim blaming, unhealthy coping mechanisms, mild gore, this is basically a trauma dump in the form of a fic so plz be aware, not edited

pairing: fujio x oc (one-sided), sachio x oc (one-sided)

word count: 6309

❝how did love become love?❞

—

I don’t really remember life before Fujio Hanaoka. But then again, who genuinely remembers life before middle school? I met Fujio in middle school, 6th grade to be exact. Fujio came to my middle school around a month after it started because he was visiting his grandfather in the countryside and his mother decided to prolong their stay. One thing I noticed was that Fujio was popular. Very very popular among all the kids in class. It was then I realized that I was the outsider in this classroom. Everyone had gone to the same elementary school in this classroom and they all already knew each other. But I didn’t feel like an outsider for too long because the teacher had Fujio sit next to me since it was the only empty seat left. I had always been a pretty shy kid so making conversation was always hard but it seems that Fujio knew that so he talked to me first. We talked about the elementary schools we went to, the area we lived in, what we wanted to be when we grew up, and the annoying people in the class. Fujio talked and talked and talked to me and all I did was listen. 

It wasn’t long till I fell in love. 

Fujio knew everything about me. He’d been there at almost every major stage of my life.

Fujio was the one that taught me how to ride a bike, he was the one that listened when I felt insecure about the way I looked, he listened to me talk about my dreams and aspirations, we celebrated when I got her first period with cake(It was more like comforting but it was still a core memory). We’ve been with each other for really most of the important parts of our lives. But I wasn’t his best friend nor was I the one he loved. He loved me but not in the way I wanted him to. 

Middle school ends quicker than I wanted and high school starts. We don’t go to the same high schools but at least it’s in the same area. Fujio goes to Oya High and I go to Meiwa Girls School. It’s like a 5-minute distance from each other. Fujio stays at Oya High for a week until he has to go to the countryside to help his mom take care of his grandfather. I was absolutely devastated but there isn’t anything I could do. I became friends with Tsukasa Takajo during Fujio’s year-long absence. It seemed the blonde boy misses Fujio too. Things happen in SWORD but that isn’t too important. Nothing was really important to me while Fujio was gone. It sounds stupid I know but I was a bit of a hopeless romantic. It was horrible, I know. I waited and waited and waited. 

Things happen during Fujio’s absence other than that whole shit show that is SWORD’s politics. I meet a guy. He’s sweet. He goes to Shutoku Boys High School. We got together too fast. I used to say it was love at first sight. I think I was wrong. No, I definitely was wrong. I don’t really remember how we met— they say the brain blocks out things that were traumatic and too much for it to handle. Was that how it was for me? Things were sweet at first, we’d text and call each other all the time. He was sweet. I think I loved him at one point, at some point. But none of that matters. None of it matters after everything he’d done. We’d talk to each other all the time, eventually, my sleep was gone trying to comfort him about the breakup he had 3 years ago, going out with my friends after school stopped and so did so many other things. I used to really like swimming, I don’t remember the last time I went. I guess I lost all the motivation to do anything. 

I thought it was fine. I thought this was love. I was wrong. 

It was a conversation with Tsukasa I had during my 6th month with him that made me realize what was wrong. “Sweetie, you do know you’re getting abused right?” Tsukasa said with his signature blank face, using the pet name akin to an insult

I laughed awkwardly because I in fact did not know that. It took all night for me to convince Tsukasa not to go beat the shit out of my boyfriend. I think if Tsukasa hadn’t been all burnt out since Fujio’s departure he definitely would have gone to Shutoku and beat the shit out of the guy.

Breaking up with him had been the hardest part. It took 4 months, and 4 tries. Todoroki had been helpful in that. The last try was where Todoroki came in. I won’t go into detail but jealousy and me having to stand my ground was involved. The breakup wasn’t pretty but I was free. Surprisingly I didn’t cry. The breakup happened at 6 am, the morning before a major math test. I’m pretty sure I failed but it was okay, I was free and it was all that mattered. I went to Oya High that day and skipped the rest of my afternoon classes, I wanted to tell Tsukasa and Todoroki about it in person. Turns out, everyone knew about my little problem. Maybe it was because of my very obvious physically deteriorating health and the depression I think I had that made me lose so much motivation that my curly hair was now straight and frizzy. It was nice to have all the support. 

Mostly everyone was supportive and I think I may have talked about it too much, my past relationship I mean. But I just wanted the validation that I wasn’t wrong, that I wasn’t going crazy and all the things he did to me were in fact wrong and disgusting. But some people said it was my fault. Some said I should have left earlier. It made me feel worse. Tsukasa says they’ll never know what I went through unless they’ve experienced the same thing. No one will know about the nights I stayed up crying, not eating and— ah~ I’m rambling again. 

This guy had been a huge factor as to why I changed so much. When I was young, I had issues with eating, I didn’t eat that much and it bothered my mom. But when I did eat she’d encourage me to keep eating so I didn’t fucking die of starvation or something. My ex had been the first to ever tell me to stop eating. I guess it messed me up a lot. Even after I broke up with him, getting back into my usual more healthy habits was hard. Really hard.

My confidence had already been non-existent before but after the breakup, fucking hell I felt terrible. 

It was 3rd year and my grades were horrible, my skin, my teeth, my hair. I just really wasn’t having a good time. I used to drink before. For fun. Now it was just to forget. I wasn’t sad about the breakup itself, I wanted to forget about all that he’d done to me, everything I went through. I was angry. It made me angry that I went through that. How could I let myself go through it? Why didn’t I leave? I think all the anger I was feeling just drowned out all of my sadness. 

I let go of the chance of ever falling in love again. I didn’t want to. I didn’t want to feel that way, this way ever again. 

But I guess one part of me knew that if Fujio ever came back and asked for my heart, I’d tear through my skin and muscles and pry open my ribs to give it to him.

—

❝I’m hiding in the rain, always smiling❞

—

It was like the universe finally had pity on me and one day finally, Fujio comes back. I see him outside the gates of Meiwa. Girls are staring at him of course, watching from afar, giggling. I don’t blame them. Fujio was handsome. He had a nice smile and nice features. He was really really good-looking, even more than the last time I saw him. “Fujio” I said walking over, a huge smile on my face

Fujio smiles right back at me. “Hey, long time no see! Miss me?”

“Definitely didn’t” That was a lie, I did, I missed him a lot

We stayed out that night, catching up. I patched up Fujio’s knuckles as I usually did and now we were sitting at an empty park just on the border between Oya and Sannoh. We were sitting on the swings, Fujio right next to me. The sun is setting, lighting up our surroundings in a warm orange and pink. Fujio looks pretty. His tanned skin it lit up in gold. He looks gold. For all I know, Fuijo was spun from pure gold thread. “Tsukasa told me about it… You and that guy” He says

I already knew Tsukasa was going to tell him. I was always a bit scared of that, telling Fujio. Would he be one of the people that supported me and comforted me or would he be one of the people that blamed me for what happened? “Yeah…” I say hesitantly “It was… a lot”

I close my eyes silently waiting for some kind of belittlement or blame but instead, I feel someone stand in front of me. “Hey” Fujio says

I open my eyes. He’s standing in front of me looking down at me while I stay sitting on the swing. “You haven’t been taking care of yourself have you?” Fujio asks, hand coming up to take a strand of my hair between my

I flinch. That was a huge mistake. Anger flashes through Fujio’s eyes as does pity. I feel terrible. Fujio looks like he wants to ask me something but he doesn’t. What he does instead is crouch down in front of me. “Hey” He says, his voice is a little quieter now

I’ve never heard his voice sound like that. It’s new and for some weird reason, I feel guilty. Fujio is looking up at me from where he’s crouched down. The swings are pretty low to the ground so he isn’t tilted his head too far back and I’m not tilting my head too far down either. “You didn’t deserve that” Fujio says

He takes my hand. I know this was supposed to be something heartwarming but my heart was just beating so fast and I started imagining us getting married and having kids and having grandkids and— yeah I got carried away. “And I mean it” Fujio continues “I know whatever I say isn’t going to make it better or change anything that happened but you didn’t deserve that no matter what other people have been telling you”

Figures. Fujio knew what people were saying. He always did. “What if they’re right?” I ask

There always has been this voice in my head telling me that what happened was my fault, that I deserved it. I know I didn’t but, your mind tends to be your own enemy. Fujio scoffs. “Be fucking for real! You…” He tugs a little at my hand and takes the other one as well “...You are the nicest person in this shit hole that I know. You’re so nice to everyone, you may not be the smartest and you are a little stupid and slow but… You’re so sweet. Don’t fucking let anyone tell you it was your fault because no one except you knows what happened. Never, never in your life will you ever deserve to be treated like that.”

Not only did it make my heart feel like it was doing an Olympic-level gymnastics routine in my chest but, I think I finally got the validation I needed after everything that happened. Fujio did just call me stupid in the middle of it but that didn’t matter. Not now. “I’m so so proud of you for getting out of that relationship” Fujio’s thumbs rub along my knuckles, I think he felt me shaking “It doesn’t matter how long it took you, it matters that you did it. You’re okay or… You’re going to be okay. I promise I’ll help you and I’ll make sure that fucking piece of shit will never hurt you again”

Finally, finally I was comforted the way I wanted. I finally got to hear everything I wanted someone to tell me in the first place. Being told you weren’t too broken and you could still be healed felt good. 

Hearing it from Fujio was really just a plus point.

—

❝Eyes meeting but hearts apart, it’s so sweet yet so bitter❞ 

—

Fujio was… Friendly. He was charismatic and very handsome so of course he’s had a bunch of girlfriends and talking stages and friends with benefits. A lot of girls liked him as well, many asking me to set them up with him. I guess in the end I’ll always be that one rare girl best friend that actually isn’t something to worry about. I’m not too sure how to feel about it. Sometimes it feels like Fujio has kissed everyone but me. Am I jealous? Of course, I am. Even now as he shows me a picture of the new girl he’s dating. “She’s pretty” I gush and nudge him, because if I don’t nudge him I might just kiss him

I think I’m a pretty good actor. I’m good at pretending that my heart isn’t tearing itself to shreds every time he talks about another girl. I should definitely win an Oscar award for these performances. I’ve never tried to make Fujio like me. Because I know he doesn’t and no matter what I do, it is no use. I’m not his type nor the one he will ever love. Love can happen eventually, I know that but Fujio will never love me, I’ve already come to terms with that. But even if I have, that doesn’t mean I’m over him. “You think so?” Fujio says with a grin looking right at me

I nod. It’s really all I can do.  

One thing Fujio likes doing is try to set me up with his friends. Today, it was Sachio. Don’t get me wrong. I like Sachio, but not the same way he likes me. 

Sometimes I think my unrequited feelings for Fujio is just karma for all of Fujio’s friends I have rejected. 

Fujio tells me Sachio really likes me. I think at one point I did like Sachio. He’s sweet. Really nice and respectful and would definitely be a better boyfriend than Fujio ever would be. But maybe it’s just me holding on so tightly to my first love, only ever having my eyes on Fujio that I’m not ever able to look at anyone else. I want to. I really do. But at the end of the day I always come back to him. I don’t expect for Fujio to return my feelings I just… I don’t know. 

Maybe one day I’ll get over Fujio, move on. But I don’t think so it’ll happen soon. 

I hope it does. Soon I mean. 

Because my hands are starting to burn from the rope called first love I’ve been holding on so tight to. 

—

❝Ruinous imagination consumes me, makes me dream sweeter dreams❞ 

—

“You really wanna meet Sachio?” Fujio asks me

“I’ve already met him Fujio” I tell him

Sachio was nice. I wasn’t over Fujio but I could stay stuck up on him either. It wasn’t healthy and I knew it. I should get over it, I should try. Not only to get over Fujio but also what my asshole ex did to me. Fujio aside, I was tired of feeling so angry all the time. I didn’t tell anyone that I felt angry rather than sad. What if I tell them and everyone that was supportive of me starts calling me crazy too, or stop supporting me through it? I think my emotions were always something I kept to myself. I didn’t want to tell anyone about it. It didn’t matter to me who stopped supporting me just not Fujio, never Fujio. I might actually go crazy if he does. Honestly speaking, I think I already am crazy. I won’t be surprised if I go for some psychiatric test and the results come out with a diagnosis telling me I’m crazy. After everything that’s happened paired with my weird dependency on Fujio, I think I am crazy. “Yeah but, no you know he likes you” Fujio says “Are you gonna give him a chance”

We’re inside a convenience store. Fujio wanted to get something to drink. He’s standing in front of the fridge trying to figure out what he wants while I’m standing in front of one of the glass doors of the fridge staring at my favourite drink. I want it. But I don’t really have the energy to bring my arm up and open the glass door. It’s weird. I don’t have the motivation to even do the things I like. I want to stop feeling like this. I thought being here with Fujio would distract me from the feeling but I guess not. I thought my heart was only filled with Fujio but that void after my breakup is getting bigger and it hurts. “Maybe…” I say, staring at my blurry reflection in the glass

I look tired. I’ve always had eyebags due to having low iron and a shitty sleep schedule but now they were darker. My skin thankfully looks the same and isn’t dull. I think I should thank myself for being so strict about my skincare routine and eating habits. But the glow in my skin doesn’t matter when the look in my eyes just shows how fucking exhausted I am. It’s not really my eyes that I’m worried about. It’s my hair. I’ve always loved my hair. Everyone has. It was curly and long and Fujio really liked it. It wasn’t curly-curly with ringlets but more wavy-curly. Now it was kinda straight and a little frizzy at the ends. Oh. It feels like I was seeing my own reflection after years. I look like this? This is what Sachio likes? I don’t think I’ve ever felt more ugly in my life. To make things even worse, there’s an annoying pain in lower belly. I’m on my fucking period. “...Hello?” Fujio nudges me

I look at him then look away. I can feel Fujio looking at me. I want him to stop. I feel gross. Fujio opens the door and I watch him take the drink I was staring at. “You were just staring at it” Fujio says

Before I could tell him I don’t want it, Fujio’s already heading for the counter and he pays. Oh. I think I’m going crazy. “Come on” Fujio calls

I follow his words and go outside. Fujio’s already sitting outside the convenience store on the curb. I sit down next to him. “You didn’t have to get that for me” I say

Fujio shakes his head. “You were just staring at it… So I got it for you” He says and opens up the drink before handing it to me

I take it. “Why were you staring at it?” He asks

I know I shouldn’t be admitting it out loud, but I tell him anyways. “I don’t know… I wanted to get it but like… I don’t know. It felt like too much work”

Had I been making any other expression, Fujio would have laughed at me and called me lazy. But no. Instead he gives me a sad look. “You’re fucking depressed” he says

Wow. I definitely wasn’t expecting that. “H-huh?”

“Don’t h-huh me!” He says, mimicking my words

Fujio grabs the drink he just gave me and aggressively puts the cap back on. “You need help” He grabs me by my shoulders and shakes me “Why didn’t you tell me before”

I feel weirdly ashamed right now. Tears well up in my eyes. “I told you that I’m here for you. If you’re feeling like fucking shit then you should tell me” Fujio says

He takes his hands off my shoulders and now he’s holding my face. Something wet touches my cheek and Fujio’s eyes soften. Oh. I’m crying. This was more embarrassing than it needed to be. “You don’t need to pretend to be happy or a certain way around me. I’ve already seen you being weird and fucking embarrassing! So please” Fujio says, his thumbs wiping away the tears running down my cheeks “Please just tell me what you feel. Tell me when you don’t feel okay, tell me when you’re sad, tell me if someone is hurting you, tell me if you’re scared. Just tell me”

I’m shaking. Fujio just keeps telling me everything is okay, that he’ll make everything okay. It’s unrealistic for him to say so, even I know that but any kind of comfort, even the unrealistic kind sounds nice when you’re hurting. “I promise… I promise, everything will be okay” He tells me and presses his forehead against mine

I guess there was a reason I was never able to fall out of love with Fujio. When he does things like this, how could I ever get over him?

—

❝I close my eyes but thoughts of you bring turmoil to my nights❞ 

—

“Has anyone ever told you how obvious you are?” Tsukasa says to me

I stare at him in confusion. We were on the top of the temple. Yes, the temple whose stairs Fujio falls down on a daily basis. We were meeting his new girlfriend. This sounds horrible but I’ve already forgotten her name. “Huh? Obvious about what?” I ask

Tsukasa nudges me. “You like him”

My hands tremble. I didn’t expect him to say that. “What? No” I deny it immediately 

The blonde boy next to me on the bench only laughs. “You think I’m an idiot? You’re really really obvious. You like him, everyone knows”

Um. What? Tsukasa sees my reaction and sighs. I’m not sure what face I’m making but I think it might be the same one where Tsukasa told me I was getting abused. Fun right? “No one has told Fujio about it but he does know”

This just keeps getting even worse. “What?”

I want Tsukasa to stop talking. I don’t want to hear anymore but I have to. “Fujio knows you like him. He’s known all along. But Fujio also knows you’ll never confess to him because you know he doesn’t like you back. That’s why he keeps you here with him unlike the other girls who have confessed and then got rejected” Tsukasa explains

I’m not to sure how to feel about this. I look over toward Fujio. He’s with his girlfriend further away. It looks like she’s arguing with him but he’s only smiling. I watch him reach over and he grabs her waist. Instantly she stops and her cheeks flush red. Or I think they do. I can’t really see far away and I don’t want to wear my glasses. You know anxiety and stuff. Seeing the world clear just doesn’t help and I think the 480-720-pixel resolution that is my eyesight really helps with calming my nerves. But right now it feels like I can see everything clearly. Fujio’s lovestruck look, his girlfriend’s shy smile. I can see it all. I wish I couldn’t. “He… Knows?”

“I won’t tell him that I told you. But yeah he does know. That’s why he’s always been trying to set you up with someone else because Fujio thinks you don’t deserve him”

I frown and look away from the two lovebirds. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Tsukasa scoffs. “Oh please, we all know how much of a shitty boyfriend Fujio would be. I’m his best friend, I know. Fujio is to friendly and you’re still healing…” Tsukasa tells me “But okay, let’s say all that with that motherfucker from Shutoku didn’t happen. Being with him would make you so fucking insecure. He’s talking to new girls every day. He’s so fucking affectionate with everyone, you’d be wondering if he was cheating every other day”

Tsukasa was right. I knew he was. I thought about this before. Fujio wouldn’t be a good boyfriend. If there was ever a day that he maybe did like me back, it would be painful being with him. But still, I was still so fucking in love with him. I hated myself for it. “I know” I mutter quietly “I just can’t get over him”

Tsukasa next to me sighs and he rests a hand on my shoulder, lightly squeezing. “Try talking to Sachio more. I know him, we all do. Sachio’s nice. I’m telling you to use Sachio to get over that idiot over there but… Maybe you should try looking for other guys. You’re not gonna get over Fujio without actually looking” He tells me

He was right. Ugh fuck. Maybe I should talk to Sachio. 

Why not?

—

❝Don’t wanna let go so I let go❞

—

Today was one of the rare days I was wearing my glasses. Fujio insisted on some bonding time with resulted in Sachio Ueda, Yuken Odajima, Tsukasa and Fujio’s girlfriend and me going to the movies. Now Fujio and I were waiting outside the bathrooms on the bench, waiting for all of them. I had sat next to Sachio during the movie, sharing popcorn with him. Fujio told he didn’t tell Sachio that I know he likes me. I guess now that I do know, things are pretty clear. I don’t know why I haven’t noticed it before. Maybe it was because I was too focused on Fujio. “Why does he like me?” I ask Fujio “I’m not pretty or like… Smart. There isn’t really any redeeming quality about me”

Fujio is fiddling with the movie tickets, his and his girlfriend’s. He looks at me, giving me a weird look. “You don’t think you’re pretty?”

I push my glasses up my nose and shake my head. “No. I’m not. I mean come on Fujio, look at me” I tell him

I guess I’ve always been pretty insecure about myself growing up. Especially when middle school started. My parents and relatives have always told me I’m pretty, backstabbing cousins and aunts say things to me out of apparent jealously. I pretended to think I was pretty when I was at home. I don’t think I’d ever be able to tell my mother how I actually felt about myself when she was always so proud of the way I looked, that I was so pretty. I think it would break her if I told her I hated myself— that I hated my face, my body, my own skin. I could never tell her. It was with my friends I could really spill out all my feelings. “Yeah I am” Fujio says “You’re not ugly”

I roll my eyes. “Uh-huh”

Fujio nudges me in the ribs. “I mean it. You’re definitely not ugly”

He leans over and brings his hand up. He’s so so close to me right now, I can feel his breath, see every pore and blemish on his skin— he’s still so beautiful. Fujio pulls my glasses off my face. I have told him many times not to do that. Taking my glasses off for me always felt so unnecessarily sexual. I didn’t tell Fujio it was like that though so he still continued doing it whenever I wore them anyways. “You’re very pretty, that’s one of the reasons Sachio likes you. But Sachio aside, you’re not at all ugly. You’re pretty” Fujio tells me and his other hand brushes a piece of my hair behind my ear “I’d never be friends with an ugly person”

My cheeks are no doubt red. But I play it off by punching his arm. “Fuck off” I mutter “Let me wallow in my misery in peace”

Fujio laughs softly. I want to kiss him so bad. “You are stupid though” he says

I hit him again and suppress the urge to kiss him. Fujio isn’t mine so I can’t kiss him. 

—

❝will our eyes ever meet each others again?❞

—

I often wonder what kind of a person I would have been if I never met Fujio, if I hadn’t fallen in love with him. It sounds like a nightmare. I can’t imagine my life without Fujio. Maybe I’m just that much in love with him. Sometimes I wish I wasn’t. Sometimes I wish I was in love with Sachio instead. But now, sometimes has turned into an almost every day wishing as I watch Fujio and his girlfriend play around in the park while I sit alone on the bench. It’s 12:30 am. I should be going home. I’m not even allowed to be staying out this late. But I haven’t gotten any calls from my mom, maybe she’s already asleep. I say and lean back into the bench. There is something painful watching the person you love fall in love and be in love with someone else. Even more painful watching them receive it back. “Hey” Sachio sits down next to me

I look at him and smile. After the movies Yuken insisted on going to get some stuff because he hadn’t smoked in so long. Stuff meaning weed and next to me Sachio is smoking some as well, the spliff between his fingers as he leans back against the bench next to me. Yuken and Tsukasa are off to the side talking quietly amongst themselves while smoking and Fujio’s still with his girlfriend, pushing her on the swings. “You feeling okay?” Sachio asks me, taking a drag before slowly exhaling “I heard about what happened with the guy”

Sachio has always been the kind of guy everyone went to when they had some kind of problem. He was nice and gave really good advice. “Yeah… I mean… It’s taking a lot longer than I expected for things to get better” I say quietly

I started taking a lot of painkillers after my breakup, not just alcohol. Thankfully Fujio seemed to catch on and stopped before things could get serious but I still feel like absolute shit during random times of the day. “Well you can’t expect to get better overnight. Your relationship was 9 months… That’s a long time. So you can take your time getting better too” Sachio says

I turn my attention to his lips, watching them wrap around the spliff and slowly exhale. Sachio sees and grins. That’s kinda hot. “Wanna try?” He asks

I stare for a moment at the drug wrapped in brown paper. “I don’t know how”

Sachio’s red-rimmed eyes are saying so much but so little at the same time. I don’t know what he’s thinking. But whatever he is thinking is making him hesitant to do whatever he wants to do next. It’s a short moment before he speaks again. “Come closer” he says

I obey without thinking, the sides of our thighs pressing together. Sachio takes my glasses off my face. Haha fuck. He brings the spliff up to his lips and then pauses, still looking a little hesitant. “Inhale okay” he says before taking a drag

Sachio leans over and I don’t move. He takes my chin between his thumb and forefinger. He leans in closer, closer, closer. I can see his pore, the blemish, the moles, I can see all his skin up close. I think he’s going to kiss me but Sachio hasn’t closed his eyes. I realize he hasn’t exhaled yet so I have an idea of what he’s doing. Sachio’s lips press to mine but not to kiss. Well kind of. He exhales smoke into my mouth and I inhale. His lips feel soft. It feels nice. Sachio pulls away not too long after but I can still feel his lips on mine. I exhale, coughing a little bit. My throat burns but it’s not as bad as I thought it’d be. “Didn’t know you knew how to do that” Sachio says with a little laugh

My face is probably red right now. “Uh… I saw Odajima teach a girl how some weeks ago” I mutter

Sachio laughs. “Of course you did” he says

He’s smiling hard. I wonder why he he likes me. I wish he didn’t. Sachio shows me how to properly smoke after that. He doesn’t let me smoke to much though. It’s not too bad but he says he knew I probably didn’t each much so I shouldn’t else I’d feel nauseous. It feels weird being high. I’ve drank but smoking was a new territory for me. I feel a little lazy. But not the bad kind. This doesn’t feel too bad. I have a feeling I’ll get an earful from Fujio later, he’s been giving me looks. Fujio doesn’t smoke, Tsukasa does. Tsukasa gets scolded by Fujio on a daily basis when he comes back smelling like weed. I probably won’t do this again. I look at Sachio who’s already looking at me. Maybe it’s the weed that is making me lose lipped but the next words leave my mouth like vomit. “Why do you like me?” I ask and regret it immediately

Sachio smiles. “Why? Do I need an exact reason?” He asks

Something twists in my chest. It hurts. I don’t want him to like me. Not because I like Fujio, but because I don’t deserve to be liked by someone as nice as him. I’m a horrible person. “You deserve someone better,” I tell him “I’m not fishing for compliments here but I’m not exactly the most extraordinary”

Sachio sighs. The spliff is finished and now all we’re left with is uncomfortable questions. Thank god I’m high or I probably would have ran into the middle of the street and got myself hit by a bus on purpose. “I don’t care if you’re not anything extraordinary” He tells me shaking his head “I like you and you don’t get to decide who I deserve… That’s for me to decide”

I want to cry. I want to so badly feel better again or maybe at least get over Fujio. “But I… I’m not okay. I probably won’t be for a while. And no matter how hard I try I… I don’t want you to wait for me forever Sachio. What if I can’t ever fall in love again?” I tell him, almost whispering at the end

Sachio turns his entire body and is facing me. “I don’t mind waiting” He says with a smile “But me and my feelings aside, you can take as long as you want to feel better. It doesn’t matter who’s waiting for you. Me or Fujio or anyone. You need to feel better for yourself”

I fumble with my hands while staring right into his eyes. Does being high make you emotional? I don’t know. But fuck I felt like crying. “How do I know if I’m better… It feels like I never will” 

Sachio is smiling so softly at me. It makes my heart hurt. His hand comes up and he takes a stand of my hair between his fingers. “Your hair. Maybe when your hair is back to how it used to be is when you’ll be better” He tells me

It’s 1 am. I should be at home. But here I am, with Sachio— the boy that loves me the way I wished Fujio loved me. I wish I loved him back. There are so many things I want to ask Sachio right now but I don’t. How do you get over someone who was never yours, to begin with? Who do you blame when you’ve broken your own heart? I don’t say anything but Sachio keeps talking. “I’m not forcing you to love—like me back… Right now I’m just telling you to take your time and maybe love yourself first” He says

Stop loving him goes unsaid but I know he wanted to say it. At that moment in Sachio’s eyes I see something of myself. He looks at me the same way I look at Fujio. It hurts. I wonder if this hurts him as much as it hurts me. But here’s the thing, I could get over Fujio and maybe I could even one day love Sachio back. But I’d never be able to forget the feeling of hurt nor the thought that I may only be loving Sachio back because I don’t want him to feel the same way I feel right now. I look toward Fujio who’s wrapping his girlfriend up in his arms and kissing her forehead. It feels like pieces of glass are tearing into my heart. 

Had someone told me being in with would be so painful I would have never fallen for Fujio in the first place. I look at Sachio and feel almost a little better. 

Does he wish I get over Fujio?

Does he pray at night for me to love him back?

I’m not sure I want to know. Maybe my problem is that I love Fujio way more than I love myself. Maybe the day I start loving myself again will be the day I get over Fujio. Sachio’s hand comes up and he brushes a strand of my hair behind my ear. 

It’s 1:35 am, I’m supposed to be at home sleeping but instead here I am; high in front of a boy that doesn’t love me back and sitting next to one that does. I feel ungrateful and cruel.

I hope I never break Sachio's heart like I broke my own.

[heavy-swing]

Aelita Tirasch

B A S I C S

Name: Aelita Tirasch Nicknames: None as a child, Yugiri has taken to calling her "Aya" (which means "colorful" or "beautiful" in Hingan) Age: 35 by the end of Endwalker Nameday: 6th Sun of the 4th Umbral Moon (8/6) Race: Bozjan Hrothgar, technically Lost as she's not in service to a queen Gender: Female Orientation: Big ol' lesbian (and taken by Yugiri Mistwalker as of mid-Stormblood) Profession: Marauder/Warrior (ARR), Dark Knight (HW), learns a bit of Machinist tangentially to HW and Gunbreaker after Shadowbringers

P H Y S I C A L A S P E C T S

Hair: Steel-y, pastel blue Eyes: similar to her hair, pastel blue Skin: has black fur with "tiger" stripes in a similar shade of blue Tattoos/scars: thin slash scar across her chest from her battle with Esteem/her dark side

F A M I L Y

Parents: She was raised by her parents as refugees in La Noscea near Summerford Farms, though they left her to return to Bozja when she was 15. Mother: Lunya Tirasch - She was a working artisan (primarily a blacksmith); she had a small forge that she ran in Bozja before she got pregnant with Aelita and then eventually had to flee. It took a while after she gave birth and escaped Othard to take up smithing again, but she eventually formed a small-time partnership with Naldiq & Vymelli’s, providing them with parts for use in shipbuilding and occasionally taking small tool or armor commissions from locals. She made Aelita’s working tools, and Aelita is sure to wear or carry a piece of metal her mother worked on with her at all times, eventually getting some of it worked into an earring with a blue-green mineral that her friend Chrysocolla gave to her. Father: Jaromir Tirasch - He was royal guard in charge of protecting the Queen of his clan. He was urged by said queen (Tira) to flee as they’d just had a child and she wished the baby to survive the incoming invasion. The shame at abandoning his people to the fate of the Garleans haunts him, and learning of the Bozja Incident spurs him to eventually return and try to make things right. Aelita looked up to his strength and desire to protect the things he cares about and it’s a big reason for her headstrong fighting style. Siblings: No siblings, though she sees her friend Chrysocolla as like a brother. (More about him below) Grandparents: None living. In-laws and Other: Yugiri Mistwalker - Her current significant other. They'd started to have feelings for each other fairly early on in the course of the MSQ, and then Aelita felt she had to say how she felt after Yugiri's failed assassination of Zenos nearly got her killed. They've been happily together since, with Aelita making frequent trips to the Doman Enclave and writing when she can't be there. She has been to Yugiri's home village and technically met her parents, but given Yugiri's complicated relationship with them, they don't really know who Aelita is or what she means to their daughter. Chrysocolla - A friend she made as a teenager, Chrysocolla is a geologist who she met while he was studying the rocks of La Noscea for his coursework in Sharlayan. He struck a deal with her when he noticed her exceptional strength with an axe, and they've been close ever since. He helps support her campaign against the Empire by supplying her with raw materials and commissioning artisans to keep her stocked with supplies and gear, and she tells him everything. Aurienne - A former Ishgardian living in exile after escaping a death sentence for an unfair charge of heresy, Aurienne has tremendous martial prowess, and as a member of the Marauder's guild, quickly spots teenage Aelita's strength and lack of parents and decides to take the young girl under her wing. Aurienne is responsible not only for Aelita's ability with an axe, but also a cynical view of politics and a sarcastic streak, though without a lot of the meanness of her teacher. Aurienne becomes a sort of mother figure to Aelita, and though she knows it's not a role she's particularly well suited for, she tries her best anyway. Pets: Has a little calico cat that's followed her around since her time in La Noscea that she's named Latani (meaning patchwork).

S K I L L S

Abilities: Very physically strong from many years of farm work as a child/teenager, and channeled that through training from Aurienne and Fray into wielding an axe and a greatsword (as a Warrior and a Dark Knight). She also inherited some of her mother's knack for smithing and manufacturing, and falls in with Stephanivien at the Skysteel Manufactory to help him produce handguns and rifles. Eventually after a return to Bozja post-shadowbringers, she learns the way of the Gunbreaker from a comrade of her father's. Hobbies: fishing, metalcraft, cooking (she's trying to learn but it's rough), assembling little model kits, entertaining local kids, gardening

T R A I T S

Most Positive Trait: Will absolutely throw herself into harm's way without hesitation if she thinks it will save someone she cares about (or even if it will piss off someone she hates). Bonus mention to her being a fierce advocate for and defender of refugees. Most Negative Trait: She rarely thinks long before acting, leading her to end up in some sticky situations that a bit of forethought might've been able to avoid. Luckily, she's tough enough to take some blows on the chin, but it does get her in trouble.

L I K E S

Colors: turquoise green, steel blue, silver, burnt orange Smells: furnace smoke, sea breeze, cooked fish, citrus, cherry blossoms Textures: unpolished iron, soft fur, Au'ra scales Drinks: lemonade, green tea, whiskey

O T H E R D E T A I L S

Smokes: Never smoked herself, but has been in the presence of those who do. Finds the smell a bit nostalgic, for some reason. Drinks: Not something she seeks out all the time, but if invited to have a drink, she's hard-pressed to refuse. Can definitely be goaded into drinking games/contests. Drugs: Hasn't tried any, but is open to the idea in the future. Mount Issuance: since she never joined a grand company, she was given a chocobo by Alphinaud as part of the formation of the Crystal Braves, which she resented him for. Over time she's come around on both him and the bird, and she named her chocobo Lojalni (meaning loyal), or Loja for short. Been Arrested: Was arrested for drunken conduct once or twice as a teenager after her parents left but before she'd met Aurienne. After defeating Leviathan, Merlwyb formally wipes them off of her record (though they were misdemeanors at worst). Otherwise, she's stayed out of trouble beyond the events of the MSQ.

More general blog info below the cut:

Universe tags: WoL universe - warrior of light; civilian universe - daughter of the forge

Blog organizing stuff: ama - questions asked to Aelita; wol writes - questions answered in character; my writing - out of character writing/fic; tag game or ask game - for memes/games going around; gpose - for gposes

[nicoline1998enilocin]

School trip

PAIRING | Teacher!Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader

WORD COUNT | 2.3K

SUMMARY | Luca is going on a trip with his school, and you're chosen to come as one of the chaperones. Bucky is very pleased about this, and finds it hard to move from your side and keep an eye on the kids like he's supposed to. When you accidentally hurt yourself, he won't move from your side until you're doing better.

WARNING(S) | This is your official trigger warning. Do not proceed if any of these topics upset you. Smut [ Masturbation, oral (F receiving) use of vibrator, daddy kink ], a broken ankle.

A/N | This one shot is part of my Teachers Universe AU, but can be read as part of the story, or a standalone one shot! 🖤

Likes and reblogs will be very much appreciated 💜

Main Masterlist | Bucky Barnes Masterlist | AU Masterlist

''MOM, MOM, MOOOOOM!'' Luca was trying to get your attention, but you were on a phone call, so you held up a finger to let him know you'd listen to him shortly. ''Okay, thank you very much. Bye,'' you said as you hung up the phone. ''Bubba, I get that you're excited, and that is perfectly fine, but when I'm on the phone you have to be quiet. You know the rules by now,'' you told him, and he looked very sorry. ''Sorry Mom,'' he said, his bottom lip started quivering a little bit. ''It's okay bubs, come here!'' you say as you pull him onto your lap and you give him a big mama bear hug. ''What is it that you wanted to tell me?'' you ask and he hands you a form, telling you about an upcoming school trip to the aquarium with all 6th, 7th, and 8th graders. ''Ah, I get why you're excited! Let me see when it is, and I will see if I can get the day off to come too, how about that?'' you ask him and he bounces excitedly up and down.

''You can go play until dinner time, and after I can figure out more about this trip. Right now I have to make sure we have a dinner to eat!'' you laugh and send him to his bedroom. ''I love you, Mom!'' he says on his way to his bedroom. ''I love you too, bubs!'' you yell after him and you walk to the fridge, getting all the ingredients to make your 'famous' mac and cheese. You always made too much of it, so there was more than enough to share with your neighbor Anna, who was always very thankful when you saved her some. You turn on some music at a low volume so you can still hear Luca in case he needs something, and you start cooking. You treat yourself to a glass of wine too, and you realize you're enjoying the life you have now.

You're going to school to become a veterinary assistant, you're working as one as well, and your son is having the time of his life here in New York. Everything seems to fall into place now, and you're grateful. There will always be rough nights when you sit on your fire escape and just let go for a bit, letting the tears fall you're always holding in. Sometimes you need to let go and let your anxieties out, but those nights are getting further and further apart. If there's one thing you're specifically grateful for, it's your beautiful son. He's the reason you keep going every single day, and it feels so good to make him proud because you're always proud of him too.

When your mac and cheese is almost done, you put it in the oven to finish it off, and you set the table. Usually, this is something Luca does, but he was playing so peacefully that you decided to let him be for now. When the oven timer goes off you take the dish out and place it on the table before getting Luca. You walk into his bedroom and kneel next to him. ''Are you ready for dinner, bubs? I made mac and cheese tonight, so after dinner, you can bring some to Anna if you want,'' and he immediately jumped up. ''Yes, I would love to bring some to Anna after dinner!'' he ran to the dining room table where he quickly sat his butt down on his chair, waiting for you to scoop some of the food on his plate.

During dinner, the two of you talk about the upcoming school trip, and Luca is extremely excited, he can't wait to go to the aquarium. It has always been one of his favorite places to go when he still lived in Sacramento, so he was already extremely excited. I have good news for you, bubs! I already asked Junior's mom if I can have the day off to go on the school trip with you, and she said yes. So I can come with you to the aquarium!'' you said and he practically jumped out of his chair, giving you a big hug. ''But first, you have to bring some of the mac and cheese to Anna!'' you say handing him the Tupperware you put it in. He runs to the door and goes to your neighbor's door, you lean against the doorframe and give her a big smile when she gladly takes the food. ''Thank you again, Y/N,'' she says. ''You're welcome, Anna,''.

When Luca is watching some cartoons on the TV before bedtime, you fill in the form for the school trip, so he can hand it in tomorrow, together with the fee he has to pay to go. You put it all in an envelope and put it in his backpack, so you won't forget it. When it is time for bed, Luca is already in a deep sleep for a few hours, and you slip under the covers, and there is only one thing - or rather, one person - on your mind. Bucky Barnes. You decide to let yourself indulge in your fantasies and grab your vibrator out of your nightstand. You turn it to your preferred setting and first rub it along your clit, before slowly working it into your entrance. All while thinking about Bucky.

''Mmh, you taste so sweet, doll. You're such a good girl for me,'' Bucky says in between the stripes he's licking from your entrance up to your clit. ''Feels so good Daddy,'' you moan and this makes Bucky even harder than he already was. ''Doing so good for daddy, making me so hard for you, doll,'' he growled, the vibrations pulsing through your entire body. He keeps his arms wrapped around your thighs when he starts licking and sucking your clit, bringing you closer and closer to your orgasm. He moves lower and tongue fucks you right into your sweet spot inside you. When he starts to rub your clit with his vibranium arm, you shatter all around him. ''Oh fuck, Daddy, feels so good when I cum!'' you scream as he rides out your orgasm with his tongue. ''Fuck, can't wait to be deep inside this sweet cunt of yours,'' Bucky said before taking his underwear off and positioning himself in front of your entrance.

You turn your vibrator up one more notch and you come violently around your vibrator, trying to keep your moans muffled to not wake Luca. You've been fantasizing about Bucky more and more lately, but if the orgasms he gives you from just fantasizing about him are anything to go by, you can't wait to feel him deep inside you. These fantasies kept becoming more and more intense, and more frequent too. Little did you know, Bucky was having these same fantasies about you.

~ 2 weeks later ~

It is time for the school trip, and Luca is very excited to go, even wearing his special shirt with fish all over it. When the both of you arrive at school, he runs inside his classroom, excited to show his shirt. ''Good morning Mr. Barnes! Look at my shirt!'' he said enthusiastically and Bucky was very impressed. ''Oh wow, I wish my shirt was as cool as yours! You have the perfect shirt for today!'' he said while giving him a high five, making Luca beam up at him. ''You hear that Mom? My shirt is cool!'' ''Yeah, but I told you that this morning already, didn't I?'' you say with a smile. ''You can still go and play a little bit before we go, bubs. Go ahead so I can discuss something with Mr. Barnes!'' and off he went.

''I have a bit of a weird question to ask, but when you were at the vet clinic recently, Chay addressed you as Bucky. But your name is James, right?'' you asked wondering. It is something you've thought about often, and you just couldn't come up with an explanation for why she would call him that. ''It's okay, I get that one more often than you'd think. Well, my full name is James Buchanan Barnes, and Bucky is a nickname that stems from my middle name. I'm fine with either James or Bucky, although most friends call me Bucky,'' he explains with a hint of a smile. ''Oh, that makes perfect sense! I've been thinking about it ever since you came by and I didn't have the time to ask you until now,'' you explained. The two of you chatted some more until it was time to get all the children onto the bus and on their way to the aquarium.

''Can I sit with you, Mom?'' Luca asked, and you looked at Bucky to see if it was okay. ''As long as Mr. Barnes says it's okay, then it's fine with me, bubs!'' and he agrees, so you sit down next to Luca. You would catch up with him later, right now you were talking endlessly about different species of fish with Luca. Bucky can't help but smile at the way you're interacting with your son like he's an equal instead of a small child. ''Which ones are you most excited to see, Luca?'' Bucky asked, and he started a whole rant about clownfish and why they're his favorite, mostly stemming from the fact that Finding Nemo was his favorite movie growing up. Bucky listens with all his attention and it makes you swoon a little bit.

Not long after you arrive at the aquarium, but you're barely even inside before something goes wrong. You were talking to Bucky about your job as a veterinary assistant, and you missed a small set of stairs inside the aquarium. You roll your ankle, but before Bucky can catch you, you hear bones snap and you fall with a scream. ''Mommy, no!'' Luca screeches when he sees you fall and he immediately runs over to you to see if you're okay. Tears are streaming down your face and you're sobbing from the pain, not able to move your ankle at all. ''Shit, doll!'' Bucky hisses and he crouches by your side. ''Luca, your mom is hurt, so can you get Ms. Jones to get some help?'' he nods and quickly runs to get her.

Bucky wipes some tears from your face, softly whispering that it's going to be okay, and that help is on the way. ''Oh god, Y/N, what happened?!'' Ms. Jones said as soon as she was by your side. ''I- I missed a-a step...'' you say between sobs and Luca is plastered to your side again, holding your hand and holding back his tears. He always hates to see his mom upset, and this was even worse because you were in pain. ''Why were you being clumsy, Mom?'' he asked and it made you laugh a little bit. ''I'm always clumsy, you know that right?! But I was talking to Mr. Barnes and missed the steps,'' you explain. ''That is not nice of you, to let her fall like that! Now she's in pain!'' he says to Bucky, who can only agree. ''I know, and I'm sorry. But I will make it up to her by getting her to the hospital, okay?''

The rest of the kids and chaperones went on the trip through the aquarium, and Bucky picked you up bridal style which surprised you, especially how effortless it was for him to do it. You wrap your arms around his neck and Luca is walking with the both of you towards the entrance of the aquarium. ''I'm going to call an Uber to the hospital, so I'm going to put you down for just a minute, okay?'' he asked and you nodded, keeping your ankle still as he sets you down so you can lean against the wall. Luca uses this moment to wrap himself around you and hug you. ''I don't like it when you're in pain Mom, so I hope you will feel better soon,'' he says and it makes your heart melt. You kiss him on his head when he said it.

~ At the hospital ~

Once all three of you arrived in the hospital, they take you away for some X-rays, which show that your ankle is indeed broken, and will have to be in a cast for at least 6 weeks. ''What color shall I pick for the cast, Bubba?'' you ask Luca, who is very interested in everything they're doing. ''Green!'' he exclaims happily, it's his favorite color so this does not come as a surprise to you. ''So, you're gonna be part Hulk for the next few weeks, huh doll?'' Bucky laughs, but you blush when you hear the nickname he calls you. ''I guess so,'' you chuckle and when they're done, you get some crutches to keep yourself upright. ''Let me bring the both of you home, it's the last I can do after I made you fall down those steps!'' Bucky offered, but you didn't want to impose. ''It's okay, Bucky. We can do it, but thank you anyways. You were a great help,'' and when Luca wasn't looking, you softly kissed him on his cheek before hopping out the door.

Bucky put a hand over the cheek you just kissed, trying to hide the deep red color that he was sporting now. You didn't look around, but you were supporting that very same color on your face. ''Mom, can we have dino nuggets for dinner?'' Luca asks. ''Of course, bubs, especially after today!'' you say with a laugh before stepping into the Uber Bucky had ordered for the both of you. Both you and Luca waved at him when the car took off, and you couldn't hide the smile you were sporting. ''I love you Bubba, you took really good care of me today,'' and you gave him the biggest kiss you could on his cheek. ''Love you too, mom''.

[haunted-xander]

Chiaki and Ryota had been traveling together for a while now. Surviving the apocalypse isn't exactly... easy. So grouping together is always a good idea, even if it means you'll have to split your resources. At least all those survival games made it seem like it. Teamwork is always better than working alone, I think.

"...Huh? what's that sound?" Looking up from where she'd been seated on the ground, she noticed a pair of lights in the sky. "Is that... a helicopter?" As the sound of harsh wind resistance got louder, she could confirm that it was, indeed, a helicopter. And not only that but... "HEY! YOU TWO, DOWN THERE! WE ARE MEMBERS OF THE FUTURE FOUNDATION, AND WE ARE HERE TO SAVE YOU!" a voice shouted from the airborne vehicle. Oh, and is that...?

The helicopter descended nearby, and out walked two men and a familiar woman. Yukizome-sensei... "You two. Based on your uniforms, you must be former Hope's Peak students, right?" A gruff man spoke out. I feel like I've seen him before... Ah, right. He worked security... I think. "Oh, there's no need to wonder. Nanami-san, Mitarai-kun! It's so lovely to see you again! I'm so happy you two are safe and sound, your dear old teacher was so worried!" Chisa ran towards them with her arms outstretched, clearly aiming for a hug. Both Chiaki and Ryota flinched and side-stepped her.

"Huh...? Aren't you happy to see me? C'mon a little reunion hug won't hurt!" Chisa looked confused and upset at their rejection, but Chiaki could see the underlying frustration at the lack of trust. ...I want to be happy to see her but... I know she's still brainwashed. If only I... "Come now, Chisa. They're probably just shaken, is all. I'm sure they will be more open to your affections once they've calmed down." The other man, wearing white, said placantly at Chisa. A light scoff could be heard coming from the gruffer of the two, unheard by other.

Looking back at the white-dressed man, Chisa smiled softly. "Ah, of course. You're absolutely right as always, Kyosuke!" Ah, so his name is 'Kyosuke'. "I'm so sorry if I scared you two, I was just so relieved that you where safe!" Liar. Kyosuke and the gruff man then approached them and gestured for them to enter the helicopter. "Ah, but first things first, we should introduce ourselves! Of course, you already know your dear old teacher, Chisa Yukizome - former Ultimate Housekeeper and currently the director of the Future Foundations 5th division! Buuuut these two men are probably total strangers to you, right?" Looking slightly embarassed, Kyosuke let out a small chuckle. "Yes, of course. How impolite of me. I am Kyosuke Munakata, the vice leader of Future Foundation and the former Ultimate Student Council President." With what seems to be a perpetual scowl, the gruff man followed suit, "I'm Juzo Sakakura. You might've seen me around Hope's Peak since I worked security there. I'm the former Ultimate Boxer and currently the director of the 6th division."

As they entered, Chiaki noticed that Chisa was still standing outside with her back turned to them. Even though she couldn't see her former teacher's face, she felt her form oozing with malice. Munakata-kun and Sakakura-kun don't know she's brainwashed... I'll need to tell them eventually.

I need to make sure Yukizome-sen- ah, san? Yukizome-san doesn't cause any more despair.

[just-some-random-blogger]

Hi! Can you write a Morpheus x child reader (like father daughter) where the reader is a dream that he was working on when he was captured and never finished and she was brought to life as a baby and grows up in the dreaming as it’s collapsing with Lucian as their care-taker/parent figure/teacher and everyone is just like wtf because dreams arnt supposed to age and are created as adults that already know everything they need to know but the reader doesn’t and needs to be taught manually.when dreams comes back he’s presented with a pre-teen reader and after his personal wtf moment he acknowledges the reader as a unique dream and takes them under his wing and basically becomes their dad and presents them to his siblings as his child and everyone is just like *niece acquired* even Lucifer has a soft spot for them and makes sure they know that their disdain for Morpheus doesn’t extend to them.sorry it so long lol I had this idea for a while but I can’t write so I hand it off to you.

Birthday Girl

Dream of the Endless & Dream!Reader

Summary: Hooray! It's your 6th Birthday! It's a costume party where all your classmates are invited, and, boy, are their parents are sure freaked out about your aunts and uncles.

Word Count: 1k+

Warnings: THIS IS A WHOLESOME FIC READER IS DREAM'S CHILD MISS ME WITH THAT BULLSHIT, Fem!reader, Endless Family Chaos™, Lucifer my beloved, Papa Bear!Dream, fluff, typos, etc.

A/N: NGL this req kinda stumped me. it's a pretty tall order but i think i thought of something good enough to make what you wanted nonnie! ... or at least i hope so, since you wanted a pre-teen and I gave you a barely out of diapers kid lol ALSO you referred to the librarian as Lucien (well lucian), so it leads me to believe you had The Sandman Comics in mind but I have not read a page from the comics, and so i'm just going to fashion this to the show, ok? i did try to add more of the endless siblings though Tagging: @pinksirensong @deniixlovezelda @shadow-pancake9

"Papa," she mutters as she hangs on Dream's raised arm. "Yes, my heart?" he mutters, swinging the dangling child absentmindedly as he read his book while standing in the middle of the library. "Where do babies come from?" Dream turns to the wide eyes looking up at him. "Lucienne told me it's when an egg and a sperm meet, so does that mean you're a chicken?" "No." "Am I a chicken?" "You are a dream. My dream." "But you're Dream, papa." "Yes, I am."

"Oh wow," one of the parents who took the liberty to dress up as a really bad Dracula noted, "this is a gnarly getup. The wings look so real-"

Lucifer grabs the man's hand before he could touch her wing, "do not touch me."

The words were so simple, so plainly stated, and yet the man could not help but shiver. He plays it off with a chuckle as he withdraws his hand, "wow. Uh. Don't tell me. Are you supposed to be a fallen angel or something?"

"The fallen angel," Lucifer corrects.

"Oh," he nods his head, "so like..." he chuckles, "Satan."

"Yes," Lucifer grins softly, "precisely."

There was something so eerie about the smile of her face that the man could not bare to be around her any further. A shiver runs down his spine. Morningstar's grin widens as he walks away and when she hears a squeal.

"AUNTIE LUCI!" you run up to the fearsome being, giggles melting her very being into nothing but fluff.

"My dear dream!" Lucifer bends down to catch you in her arms as you jump to embrace her form.

"I've missed you so much!" you exclaim against her neck, little arms wrapping around her. Your voice is soft when you mutter, "I wanted to go to you but papa says hell is no place for a dream like me."

"Well," Lucifer pulls away, "perhaps I could steal you away from your-"

"Watch yourself, Lightbringer," Dream's voice echos in the WcDonalts, making the lights in the fast food chain flicker, and all the present parents survey the room in concern.

"Papa!" you turn to Dream and move in Lucifer's arms to go to him.

Dream raises his hands to get you, but Lucifer does not allow it. She greedily keeps you in her arms, "I was only telling my niece that I would bring her to my realm if her father holds her back."

"That was not the term you used," Dream narrows his eyes.

"And she is not your niece," Death speaks, earning your attention, "not really."

"AUNTIE!" you squeal, more eager to leave Lucifer's arms than ever. She has no choice but to drop you as you run up to your Aunt Death and seal her legs in a tight hug.

Death chuckles, crouching down, stroking your cheeks with the gentlest of touches, "hello, my love. How have you been?"

"I've been doing maths... it's horrible."

Death chuckles as she finally realizes, "are you dressed as the grim reaper?"

Death turns to her little brother, who shakes his head and raises her hands, "I expressed the impudence of it all, but she adamantly insisted."

"Didi told me about how cool the grim reaper is!" you bounced on your feet.

"Oh," Death releasing a breath, understanding, "did they now?" She bends down to meet you face to face, "do you know that the true grim reaper is actually your Auntie Death?"

Your face contorts, "you?"

She nods.

"But you're not cool, Auntie," you innocently say as you push her hair back.

Lucifer snots, suddenly glad to have not left for some WcBorgers just yet.

As Death's jaw hangs low, Dream could not say share a word of comfort, for suddenly, a group of children begin to cry. These were the group of children that were not accompanied by their parents and Dream had sworn to keep an eye on. Yet they were now being terrorized by Didi themselves.

Dream is appalled by the shreiking, and acts quickly to put a stop to it, giving Death a knowing look.

"How about a burger, child," Lucifer calls, making you squeal and run to her.

On his way, Dream grabs Delirium, who was talking to her reflection on the window. It takes a moment for her to speak, "oh! HeLlo bRothEr!"

"I need you to make the children stop crying."

"Well, h0w do i Do tHat?"

Dream and Delirium are upon them.

"Dream, Delirium," Didi smiles, "come for your cry babies?"

"De$ire!" Delirium says, "i d1d noT reaLize you W3re here."

Dream peers down at the crying children and turns to his sister, "how about some bubbles?"

"BuBBles?" Delirium says, manifesting bubbles around her in an instant.

Dream grabs Desire. The latter shoots a look, "what? It's a party, is it not? It's supposed to be fun."

Delirium herself is distracted by the bubbles as the kids crying begins to falter.

"You are to stay away from the children," Dream mutters darkly, making his sibling roll their eyes and pull away from him, "oh, you killjoy. I'm surprised you even let your daughter have a birthday party as WcDonalts. Don't you despise indulging her desires for fast food?"

"It is her day; she is queen."

Desire's lips curve up.

Dream is alerted by another cry ripping in the air. He turns around and finds that Delirium had stolen an ice cream cone from the child.

"She has made you soft, brother," Desire notes.

Dream has no time for either of his siblings as suddenly there is a loud crashing sound followed by an excited squeal.

The parents are immediately clamoring, grabbing the children.

"Destruction!" Death calls, running over to the gaping hole at the wall of WcDonalts right in front of you.

"Auntie!" you mutter, struggling to hold up the enormous teddy bear in barely in your clutch, "Uncle Desie gave me a gift!"

"My, my," Desire crosses their arms, "it seems not even the prodigal is immune to your daughter's charms."

Dream's dark stare at Desire sequentially darkens the room.

Desire raises their hands in surrender as one parent scream something about leaving, which makes Dream drop his guard and turn to the mother who drags a child dressed as a tomato away, "I would not dare to hurt my beloved niece."

"I've had enough of you, Desire," Dream chides, snapping back to them, "I do not want you-"

"PAPA! LOOK!" you grunt, dragging the huge teddy bear over to your father with much difficulty, "UNCLE DESIE GAVE IT TO ME."

Desire is the one who responds, "an exquisite addition to your collection, my dear."

Dream blocks Desire's view of you, "where is Lucienne? You should ask her to hold on to your gift for-"

"NO!" you quip hugging the bear tightly, "it's mine."

"I did not say it was not. I was only saying-"

"My 💖 NiEcE 💖!" Dilirium calls, swooping you up in her arms, "wheN did yOu g3t here!"

You giggle as she swirls you around.

Another child cries from the other side of the room, making Dream release a deep sigh.

"You best attend to the crying broccoli, brother," Desire points, pulling a disgusted face, "I say, what is with their shabby vegetable costumes?"

[xatsperesso]

I wonder what if, when Kalego is in his evil cicle, Iruma summons him. Would he have a different familiar form?

So, realistically, he'd just appear as a more ruffled up flufflego. Just a bit more irritable kalego, maybe a tired and moody flufflego, and will probably try attacking iruma. Like, sure, he accepted his situation with iruma, but that doesn't mean he isn't a little salty about it

But when was realistic fun?

So! from what i understand so far, evil cycle is how demons would act like if they weren't restricted by little things like social norms and law, they become there true self in their wicked phase. so it'd make sense for kalego to have a true form

That's why i headcanon WP kalego to become a giant ass hawk when summoned. He straight up becomes a cool looking, very intimidating hawk (who is very protective of his master and nearly bit azz's head off once or more) and like, can you imagine expecting your regular birb to come but suddenly a monster looking hawk is standing in your favourite teachers stead and all the students are doing this face like

...huh?

But also kalego looks like a dog. Why must he be a birb? Why not become a three headed giant wolf that's somehow capable of summoning another, bigger, three headed wolf?

But also also, circling back to the 'true form' theory. What if he's just summoned as kalego. But neither he nor iruma know what's going on because kalego was one moment in his house and the next he's in royal one and since when do these kids know how to teleport high ranking demons? This is a spell in 6th grade magic theory class why do they know it now??

Meanwhile iruma is Very Confused™️ because he was trying to stop his classmate from summoning Kalego-sensei while he's unwell but suddenly Kalego-sensei is there when he's not supposed to be at school and he looks slightly unhinged which is Not Good™️

So, yeah, chaos

[tasmiq]

Jumu'ah Sohbet: 13 September 2024

This Sohbet will take you on a proverbial flying carpet through the past, present, and future. With Allah, we go, Bismillah!

#1. We are living such turbulent times in our modern era!:

However, intellectuals Mehdi Hassan and Rob Delayney advised those of us deflated by man's state of affairs: "Don't be pessimistic about the future because this is your moment to relive history." Implying that at some point in our history, this sense of apocalyptic demise has been experienced before. Look, despite COVID, Climate change and War, they are continuing to make my accident old news 😅

Spiritually, Hazrat Jalaluddeen Rumi (RA) says: "Lovers find secret places inside this violent world where they make transactions with beauty." I couldn't agree more because what keeps us grounded, apart from the maddening crowds, is our spiritual connection through our Tariqa (spiritual school) that keeps us conscious of the truth and reality of La ilaha illalah (There is no god but God / Allah)! We are therefore programmed to see the positivity and beauty of Allah, no matter how much human ugliness is projected around us. Shukran Ya Allah (Divine gratitude)!

#2. We just passed the 6th of Rabi ul-Awwal which marks the Wisaal (Divine meeting) or Urs (Divine wedding) of the spirtual monarch of our country, Hazrat Shaykh Sayed Ahmed Badsha Peer (RA). His resting place was round the corner from where I worked pre-accident, and at a particularly sad time in my life, his spiritual solace carried me through it! In the middle of Durban's humble inner-city within a multiracial cemetry during a racist passage of South African history itself. Subhana'Allah (Divine glory)!:

Hazrat Badsha Peer (RA) arrived in Durban from South India as an indentured labourer in 1860 and was recognised by the British authorities as a spiritual personality and discharged of his duties. I remember telling visitors that his legacy as an indentured labourer was that his plot of sugarcane was always harvested at the end of the work day, without him having to sweat, were some of his mystical abilities. He passed away in 1894 in the precinct of the Grey Street Juma Masjid and buried in the Brook Street Muslim Cemetery. He was from amongst the Majzoob category of Sufis, who are totally drowned in the love of Allah, making them unaware of their own physical conditions. Due to this, people never recognised his spiritual position! It was in 1895 upon the arrival of Hazrat Soofie Saheb (RA) that in pure Sufi ethic, he first went to pay homage to the great Awliya (Friend of Allah) of this country. And, in doing so, located the grave of Hazrat Badsha Peer (RA), making it known for the first time that here lies "BADSHA PEER" (A King amongst Spirtual Guides)! [Chishty Sabiree Jahangiri Khanqa and Research Centre]

This was at a time when I was not even a Sufi murid (follower). As the Sufi adage goes, when the student is ready, the teacher appears. Shukran Ya Allah that he did, in the form of Shaykh Taner Ansari of Allahistan! It is also where your Mimi's Ummi is laid to rest with Allah in this world. Allah blessed your Mama and me with Mimi's blessed presence in our lives where she sought me out at the nearby offices and spiritually enlivened my consciousness of the blessing round my corner. Allah, if Hazrat Badsha Peer (RA) was involved in the spiritual mechanics of keeping me alive after a 2-month coma as it was while I still worked there, please convey Your love and eternal gratitude on my behalf:

Ya Shakur Ya Wadud!

#3. Anne (our spiritual mother) asked us to contemplate on the English translated version of Sura 89 of the Chronological Edition of the Qur'an as renewed by our Tariqa, Al-e Imran (The Family of Imran). I couldn't stop the outpouring of insights and awe within me towards Allah's words in those 200 verses. For example, I will just share 3:

- V4: Allah as the mighty establisher of consequences. (Yes, us human beings with free will must be made to feel the consequences of our choices!)

- V7: Some messages of the Qur'an are clear, but others are allegorical. Allegorical means containing a moral or hidden meaning. (As a past Qur'anic Arabic student herself, I had felt that the Qur'an is either too simplistic or too deep which drove me to keep trying to connect to it or altogether evade it! Until, unexpectedly and gloriously, did our Tariqa delve into it as richly as it did, where at virtually every other verse I am compelled to contemplate!)

- V86: The community of disbelievers who reject truth after it has come to them! (Like extremist Jews and extremist Christians that firmly hold onto their forefathers' practices! But, Islam was the most recent of Abrahamic religions, which affirmed their paths and with reasoned caveats. Another reason the community of the middle path [ummatan wasatan] makes more sense, if you ask me):

In conclusion, we enter Yuwm un-Nabi, which is an annual celebration of the birth of Rahmatul lil 'Alameen (Mercy of the worlds), our beloved Prophet Muhammad (PBUH)! Insha'Allah, it is a well-executed success as planned, which unites us deeper:

Ya Ghalib Ya Azim (Yearning Allah's ability to succeed)

Ya Wadud Ya Salaam Ya Jami Ya Nafi (and Allah's love, peace and unity in goodness)

[unknownfortuna]

Planets in Astrology

SUN~ Planet of self and our identity; speaks of our inner creativity, inner heart strength in rising to meet challenges, authority, confidence, and ability to lead.

Associated with the following: Father, Husband, Masculine energy, rules Leo and 5th House.

MOON~ Planet of emotions; mood swings, how we feel about certain topics, our soul, intuition, nurturing style, desires.

Associated with the following: Mother, Pregnancy, fertility, childbirth, feminine energy, Cancer and 4th house.

MERCURY~ Planet of communication; Logic and processing, how we express ourselves, short trips (workday commute, visit neighbor, going across town), siblings, transportation.

Associated with the following: Virgo=feminine energy and 6th house, Gemini=masculine energy and 3rd house

VENUS~ Planet of love and money; Pleasure, harmony, emotional attachments, marriages, friendships, business partnerships. Spreads happiness and tenderness, while teaching us how to love and appreciate others, things we possess.

Associated with the following: Beauty and art. Feminine energy, taurus/Libra and the 2nd/7th house.

MARS~ Planet of Passion; Energy, passion, drive, determination, Rules, military. Standing up and getting noticed for what your getting done. Our inner power (not heroic energy like the sun but much more intense), confidence, ambition, competition, aggression, stamina.

Associated with the following: God of war (Ares), sexuality, sexual energy, weapons and surgery. Masculine energy, Aries/Scorpio and 1st/8th house.

JUPITER~ Planet of luck; Higher learning, yearning for exploring ideas of spirituality all the way to intellectually, forming ideology, religion, philosophy, Long distance travel, games of chance.

Associated with the following: Luck and good fortune, expansion (ex. weight gain), masculine energy, Pisces/Sagittarius and 12th/9th house.

SATURN~ Planet of Karma; Doesn't make things come easily. The task master. Discipline and responsibility. restrictions and delays, wisdom, perseverance, structure, order.

Associated with the following: Old age and lessons, teacher (traditions and patterns), contracts, masculine energy, Capricorn/Aquarius and 10th/11th house. 1st Saturn return 27-30 years old.

URANUS~ Planet of rebellion (1st outer/generational planet); Expanded consciousness, new perspective, originality, interventions, computers, cutting edge, technology, future events, break tradition, revolution, dictators, autonomous state, free will, bizarre behaviors, freedom, creativity

Associated with the following: androgynous energy, earthquakes, natural disasters, unpredictable, Aquarius and 11th house. Higher octave of Mercury.

NEPTUNE~ The planet of illusion, generational planet; dreams, illusions, thoughts, the mysterious. Spirituality is important to harness for personal development. Any meditative state (or reaching a 'flow state') such as dancing, poetry, singing, baking, and music. Delusion, hypochondria, hypnosis.

Associated with the following: God of the sea (Poseidon), rules movies, fashion, glamour, creating illusion. Drugs, alcohol, and escapism. Sleep and dreams. Feminine, Pisces and 12th house. Higher octave of Venus.

PLUTO~ Planet of Power; Transformation, regeneration, rebirth, secrecy, out with the old/in with the new, transcend what we believe- redeem ourselves- come out stronger knowing better. intensity. asking generation to look within to subconscious (fear pushes buttons needed to transform).

Associated with the following: God of death (Hades), reproductive system/ genitals, death, destruction, obsession, kidnapping, viruses, waste, underworld, undercover, dictatorship/terrorism=power, atomic power. feminine energy. Scorpio and 8th house. higher octave of mars.

"Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself..." Pg 130 -The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho

[shock]

hey! ik you work at a school and based on how you post about it, you really care a lot about your job and it seems like the kids really like and trust you. i'm about to start a job as a para working 1:1 w/ a middle schooler, and my prior experience is all tutoring college students- do you have any tips on getting kids that age to engage w/ you? im worried ill be awkward around him and he'll think im cringe 😭 would really appreciate any advice u have to give

middle schoolers are developmentally in a place where they are experimenting with independence for the first time. they will test rules, boundaries, expectations. be clear and consistent but not rigid. if you make it integral to your relationship and their success that they tell you what motivates them, they have agency, and that you want to work WITH them, they may not believe that immediately but the more you prove it the easier it will be to know how to support them.

if you know anyone who has worked with this student before, ask about and be ready to filter the information you learn. I ask questions like "do you remember a day that was successful, and how did you get there?". ask "was there a time you felt that you connected?". "What strategies did you find helpful?".

I don't always agree with all of my colleagues in their approach or their view of the kid in front of them, but that doesn't mean I can't learn from them and apply it in my own way. about the same student, I was warned that successful only happened when they were elevated by using a neutral tone and that they will try to trick me so be aware of that. another said that they are very funny and sometimes needs pressure to be grounded- when I suggested a weighted shoulder blanket, she lit up and said "that would be an awesome idea!!". another colleague said that they do very well with expectations given in the form of "If X happens, my expectation is to [action]". I can keep all of these things in mind and also not let them be more deciding than the kid that I will have in front of me.

You have your own style and that can be translated to a lot of ages if you take steps to learn to communicate with them and dont make them feel stupid or inexperienced. I invite suggestions and try to apply their voice as appropriate and safe. I don't make promises I can't keep, and if I can't keep them I am upfront about it. Model integrity and honesty.

Also, because of the rapid development both hormonally, socially, physically, 6th, 7th, and 8th are all WILDLY different. The ways I can talk to my 8th graders about deeply personal social-emotional reflections doesn't look the same my 6th or 7th graders. You'll naturally find out where your student lies in terms of maturity and understanding, and there will be a LOT of growth in a single year.

Kids will accept and grow fond of your cringe if they know you express it in solidarity and from a willingness to learn. Anything will be cringe if they want to haze you for it, including things YOU SEE THEM DOING ALL THE TIME 🤣 I tell my kids all the time that there are things that come naturally to them that amaze me and impress me that I don't know about. I put my kids in positions to be teachers. Being cringe is a natural part of working with kids and its ok to be silly and weird IF you are there for them when it counts. IF you don't patronize, condescend, or talk down to them. They are intelligent, thoughtful, and often know much much more than they ever say. They are extremely resilient. they will genuinely think you are just as likely 17 or 40 years old no matter what age you are. Don't worry about being awkward or cringe, take steps to understand the passions and joys of your students. Be willing to suck at things they excel at. Be willing to play basketball with them even though you suck ass, and ask them how to improve. Be willing to make bracelets that are so fucking ugly they're worth laughing about while they're making 400-braid works of art. Acknowledge when they have skills you aren't familiar with. They will learn to appreciate yours if they know you see theirs.

They don't accuse me of being lame when I act goofy, to them it's just part of who "Mr. Jack" is. I'm not above getting pranked. I'm not above getting razzed on. Im not above getting something wrong. I'm a professional who knows how to navigate systems and wants to share that with them. I explain why things happen. I answer "why" with a genuine, thoughtful response. Middle schoolers always want to know why, and if they don't know why by the time they get to high school because it's been held hostage by people in power, they believe there is no "why". I never say "just because" or "It's the right thing to do". I say what will come out of it. If I ever have to report something happening or have to have another colleague help with a mandated reporting/need help from social work to wrap around, I never just do it. I say things like "you know, X is someone I really trust and respect here. They have more information than I do and I think if we worked together we would be able to really find a solution, can we try to do that". I explain that I will never abandon them or shove them on others or destroy our trust, but I have Profesional obligations and that I will walk through the whole process with them. I have sat in ambulances with kids. I have stayed into the night at hospitals with kids. I have exercised my right to refuse to send a kid home out of an immediate safety concern and updated them the entire time what every call I made was about, what I did and did NOT share, checked in with them... and my worst fear of ruining my relationship with a kid and destroying their trust has not happened because I make sure that the pieces are not moving around them while they are helpless. So much is already out of their control.

I have coached multiple students who admitted to me that they vaped or smoked, and i think this is a good example of applying that mindset: My job isn't tell them to stop because it's bad. My job is to say "look, I'm not going to say what everyone else has told you or pretend that I've never done something that could harm my body. Anything you do, I want you to do research and use that to decide what is worth it." And I share knowledge, we get to the root of it, we talk about the reasons, we talk about the risks. One of my students who smoked nicotine without parents knowing didn't know that it would seriously impact a surgery they had coming up that they had been waiting for their whole life and were excited for. Me sharing that information not with the threat of consequences but with a need for them to understand how to move forward was how we got to develop a plan to quit that was seen through.

Sorry that was a lot of rambling!! Basically work as a team and find ways to come up with strategies together. You can be professional, "in charge", and provide direction without insulting the newly budding agency your middle schoolers are unfortunately learning that they don't have in a lot of environments. Start EVERY SINGLE DAY new. I have bad days and have cried because of how hurtful something was from a student, but I don't let that stop me from greeting them in the morning, or feeling like they have a right to education, or that they can't try to do things differently. They're incredibly impulsive, and you will have an hour long conversation that seems to really sink, and the second you get out of the room they will still immediately do the thing they shouldn't. Over time with consistency they really do change, and it's normal for that to not be always immediate. Days, weeks, years... sometimes you won't even see that growth, and that's really hard, but you have to trust that it will happen.

[hypersonic04]

I honestly can't get enough of teacher Ross and I'd love a little blurb of maybe the two of them getting spotted in public together - out of school hours! - and maybe some kids at school, older boys, probably thinking they can 'blackmail' Ross into giving them good grades or they'll spill the beans or starting rumours which Ross overhears himself or getting hauled in by the head who has heard.

Or something similar where it's a lockdown/home schooling sitch and the two of them are holed up together and pupils start to notice little clues, like the same mug being spotted in Ross's Zoom lesson, then the next day she has it, or the same picture on the wall behind. Or basically any other way they're forced to come clean when people put 2 and 2 together.

Also, one where teacher girlie has some girls in her 6th Form class who clearly have a crush on Mr MacDonald too and she just loves overhearing them gossiping over how good he looks, guessing what colour shirt he'll be wearing next and bickering over whether his hair is nicer up or down. She has to resist agreeing with them out loud.

hi anon! these are such great ideas!

I think for the first one, maybe you're just having a bit of a 'running errands' day, you know, picking up a birthday present for someone, maybe taking some clothes back, etc. You've stopped for food, and you're kind of just stood together in the queue at a Costa or something, laughing at something he's said, him smiling down at you, and a group of boys from your school walk in. Like you said, they're a bit older, Ross talks to them about football and has a bit of banter with them when they're in his class, so they come over and they're immediately teasing him for it (maybe it's the same boys that said he didn't have the guts to ask you out all those months ago), so he's laughing a bit when they're all like 'finally got the bottle to ask her out, sir?'. They leave you both with a quick 'give me an A on that test, Mr Macdonald! Imagine if we told everyone we'd seen you out with Miss!'. Like yeah, they're laughing and joking, but Ross kind of rolls his eyes at the thought of it. Anyways, like you said, the rumours circulate (like they have done for a while, actually), and the head teacher just gives a little word to Ross - 'you and Miss y/l/n are together, I've heard?'. Ross goes all smiley, hand on the back of his neck as he's all like 'uh, yeah, we are'. I don't think it's an issue at all, all of your colleagues really like you both, so they're just happy for you!I love love love the idea of the second one. Maybe you're wearing the same sweater he'd worn in his lesson that morning, and like you said with the backgrounds, maybe the same office on some days. It's a sure giveaway and the kids are all giggly about it. It always makes you laugh when you can hear him in another room on staff meetings.

I love the last idea! Yeah, like you said, they're sixth form girls and I think you're just covering the lesson for the day, getting on with some marking whilst they 'revise' (talk about their plans for the weekend with coloured pens in hand). The minute they get onto the conversation of teachers they find attractive, you know where this is going, trying to suppress your smile when they bring him up. Like you said anon, they start discussing his hair, and you're mentally agreeing or disagreeing with their observations. You want to chip in so bad, but obviously you don't. They're talking about how he's wearing the pinstripe shirt today (one you'd picked out when you'd laid in his bed that morning, watching him walk round the bedroom in his boxers, your cheeks are pink at the thought), and it takes everything in you not to giggle.

[youareunbearable]

I've been rereading Here Be Dragons by thorinoakentwig and I've been daydreaming of the concept of Maedhros (after his death and being sent to the void) begging for redemption, if not for himself then at least for his brothers and father for failing to complete the oath. Eru listens to him and grants him his wish, allowing his family to rest in Mando’s halls instead of the void. Feanor is furious, not for being upstaged or whatever, but at the idea of his son suffering for him, more than he already has

(Fingon got to see a glimpse of red hair that burned like molten lava in the Halls before Maedhros was taken again. He closed his eyes for just a moment to feel and settle his grief before moving into action once again)

As per their agreement, Maedhros must save a life for every one he and his kin have ruined, however, he is not sent back as an Elf, but instead is reborn again and again in the form of Men and Dwarves and Hobbits with their mortal lifespans and limitations. He struggles with each rebirth to remember the last one, for mortal memories are so flawed compared to those of the Elves, but he gets the sensation of deja vu often and has strange dreams, and knows he has a Purpose.

But no matter the life he lives, he always has brilliant red hair, his eyes are always light in colour if not grey, he is always tall for his race, and at some point in his life he will loose a hand. Its not always in response to the Enemy- one lifetime he was whittling a toy horse and cut his palm, which became so infected that it had to be amputated.

He goes around helping people, as a doctor, a smith, a teacher, but more often than not he feels at home with a blade in his hand and the burden of responsibility for a people on his shoulders. He has led armies, villages, bands of mercenaries, counciled lords and ladies, and on one occasion commanded a ship full of Men. He never knows why he has such a drive to help people, why helping makes him feel so guilty, why he has nightmares of dark shadows and pain and three brilliant lights, why the chill of winter makes him feel safe, why he's always wanted a large family yet never once in all his reincarnation has had any desire to marry.

That is, until one day when he is reborn as a Man by the name of Doegred, he is take to the sea side by his parents as a gift for his 6th birthday. He looks west and is filled with such a profound longing that when asked whats wrong, he points towards the setting sun and says "i used to live there. I miss my home." As the sun sets, and as his parents digest the strange statement of their son, a voice comes floating by on the wind.

Its melodic, but melancholic in such a profound way that it moves all those that hear it to tears. Young Doegred tears away from his parents and races down the sand towards the vpice, red hair snapping behind him like licks of flame. Once his parents catch up to him, they are met with a strange scene.

An Elf, for no other being is as tall or looks as beautiful even in such a neglected state, is knelt on the shore, weeping and clutching their son to him as if he is afraid he'll vanish if he lets go. Doegred, for all that is worth, is making calming soothing croons while patting the matted hair of the Elf. He looks up at his parents, and with a glint in his blue eyes that almost makes them look grey, says "this is my younger brother. I left him behind once and I dont plan on doing so again."

(When they go home, it is with a much cleaner elf named Maglor in tow and much confused acceptance as two exasperated parents of a strange child can bare.)

Maglor stays in their village for a time, helping Doegred help others, until the Man becomes 18 and is leaving home for an adventure. He takes Maglor with him to the Elven city of Eregion, where they meet with the Elven lord there and much tears are shed. Doegred slowly begins to remember his past lives, reliving moments in dreams and second hand from tales told by Maglor and Celebrimbor. They in turn start to learn the full details of his agreement with Eru, of the burden he placed on his shoulders for his kin.

He helps his former nephew with the more political side of running his city, and tries his best to ignore the reverent whispering of the Feanorian Elves. Celebrimbor, not wanting to the news of his guests to spread, shuts his city's gates to outsiders and turns away a slightly peeved Maia in the process.

Doegred ages, as all Men do and it isn't long by Elven standards that he is once again on his deathbed and soon ready to start life once again, to have another turn at penance for he and his family- even if he still does not fully remember them. When Doegred closes his eyes for the last time a city wails at loss, and scouting parties are sent out in search of a red haired babe.

A red dawn breaks with a hobbit babe opening grey eyes for the first time. Black smog forms from the mountains in the southeast. War is the horizon. And a boat sailing from the west comes with two passengers bearing ill tidings and offering support against the growing Evil.

One has hair of spun golden silk, the other with braids of thick ebony ropes. One carries a sword and a flag with a golden flower. The other has only a harp and a bow.

Within the safety of Gladden Fields, the new Hobbit mother adorns her baby's swaddle with a golden ribbon. It seems like it will bring good luck