#the important thing rn is to take care
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This is probably very immature and illiterate from my part because some of my twitter friends / oomfies were / are part of the dropout boycott thing and I do get their frustrations with dropout but after the shitshow that was that fuckass man's reelection there's a part of me that is frustrated that people will just direct all their energy towards pushing a company with progressive tendancies to condemn the zionists they "platformed" when a literal fascist was about to take power once again and pretty much threatening the whole world.
Like let me be clear. Israel's fucking evil and committing a genocide for nearly 80 years now. Palestine and Palestinians should and will be free. There's no denying that. And those who deny it are the scum of the earth. I'm really appreciative of everyone helping Palestinians in any way they could, and i'm still giving to godfundmes and campaigns whenever I can. And on the other hand, Zionists (in all shapes and forms) are the scum of the earth and should not be respected.
But my thing is : when you're staring in the face of straight up neonazism, with the misogyny, transphobia, LGBTQphobia, racism that comes with it... it feels extremely pointless and a bit absurd to direct all your attention and energy to boycott a company who, for all their flaws (and they do have a lot), are juggling with both the essence of being a company and their drive to support marginalized people in all shape and forms, just because some of their collaborators, regular or not, have said some shitty Zionist things. Part of me does get it, the frustration and the breaking point, especially from POCs, but after the elections... was it really the bigger fish guys ? Was it all worth the effort and anger to in the end get a milquetoast statement saying what we already knew but in a watered-down PR language ? And then barely 48h after the most dangerous man in the world gets back into power again ?
Like... I don't know. It might be because i've been slowly falling into a depressive episode and ultimately my anger is quite meaningless too because it's just fandom shit but with hindsight, that dropout boycott just felt like fans guiltripping one another while ignoring the obvious immediate danger. Once again, I know those fans have already done a lot for Palestinians and marginalized people overall, because I follow a lot of them firsthand, and I really don't want to diminish their efforts, but as someone who is not USAmerican but has seen some IRL friends directly suffer from Trump's disgusting foreign and internal policies... You guys focused on the wrong thing this time. I get why you did but also I hope you understand it wasn't really worth it.
Anyways, @ all USAmericans who follow me : please take care, because I'm fully aware this is a scary situation <3 Peace and love guys
#this is a bit of a vent and i'm sorry for that#all in all if you're not privy with what happened with dropout these past few weeks just ignore because it's quite meaningless#the tdlr is that i'm thankful i deleted twt lol#i don't think my heart would have taken it today if i was doomscrolling on twt#the important thing rn is to take care#dropout#dropout tv#donald trump#trump#politics
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How do you think velvet is handleing everything in vacco right now
She’s having a great time 🥰
#fooze#rwby#rwby fanart#velvet scarlatina#rwby velvet#coco adel#rwby coco#rwby crosshares#beacon roads take me home~#she’s been upset to be in vacuo day one at this point cinder can turn the whole place to glass for all she cares#in all seriousness I’m sure she’s managing. busy ripping open colossal grimm worms to rescue coco#gotta keep her leader on her toes and reminder which piece of ass is actually worth barking over (hers)#I like to think the first thing vel does when team rwby and friends show up is look for the lil rose and give her a huge hug#there was a point she though Ruby was low key dead and that was so sad to read#time for hugs and kisses and gay reunions#more important than protecting sand rn#I forgot her arm tat. love that for me
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K I've been thinking about this for like a week now. Ignoring any immortal headcanons if you have them. Knuckles knows he's not going to be able to guard the Master Emerald forever and that probably troubles him, but, if he was dying do you think he'd ask Sonic to guard it? He's the person with a unique connection to Chaos and the Chaos Emeralds and he's basically chosen one the most specialest guy, and one of the few people Knuckles could trust with that duty.
Of course I think Sonic would say no. I think he'd never be able to do that and he wouldn't want to.
#lmao i think even if Knuckles was on his fucking deathbed Sonic would say no#like sure he's got a sense of duty but guarding the me would be absolute hell for him#and he's never really acknowledged if he even gets just how important Knuckles' job is#sure he gets some of it but he doesn't really care that much beyond knuckles cares deeply for SOME reason#and im not saying that as something negative i actually think good for him you know#bad for knux cause he'd be fucking tormented by that#it also makes me think about the conflict people like to write between them in forces fanfics#where knuckles didn't take care of tails enough and sonic gets pissed at him i think this is a great parallel#like i know a kid and a big magic rock aren't objectively the same thing but if you think about how it much it matters to knuckles#especially that it matters to him more than that too because it's literally his entire life#not giving the ME and knuckles' duty the acknowledgement it deserves is like saying he's wasted his life for nothing#ouough okay#sorry im in such knuckles angst mood rn pl if you have thoughts respond idk if im imagining all of this correctly gnjhgcsddgu#gimme some fuckin drama
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I understand the instinct to hear news about something happening and go "ok, now how will this impact me", but folks. With the WGA strike. Please don't make it about your favorite show. I'm sorry something that's important to you has been negatively affected! But the wellbeing of writers should absolutely take priority over that. You can be sad about the impact of a strike and still be glad they're fighting for improved conditions.
#wolfy speaks#wga strike#writers guild of america#current events#its just kind of frustrating to go into the wga tag and seeing ppl talk exclusively about their shows being hurt by it#im sorry! i know its sad! but the human writers are more important rn!#that said it is absolutely an instinct to find out how a news thing inpacts you. i do it too. my first question when i learn something is#'how will this affect my day to day life?'#but then i move past that#some of yall are still in the 'prioritizing me' stage and you have to go to 'prioiritizng others' stage#that said if youre a fandom blog and explaining how the strike will likely affect whatever youre talking about you get a bit of leeway#wanting to understand what the impact of the strike will be is not the same as not caring about why theyre striking#sorry i know im rambling in the tags here... i feel like theyre room for nuance here and i dont want to come across otherwise#just. end of story. you should be more concerned with the wellbeing of the writers who are striking#than the wellbeing of your shows#human lives take priority#but you can be concerned for both
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There's actually nothing wrong with having both rice and noodles in a meal, Americans are just fucking weird.
#solitaretalk#i don't even think this is a west thing i think it must be an americana thing#my mom judged the shit out of me for having both noodles and rice and i'm like bitch. ur watching me starve from an illness#carbs are the most important thing for me to eat rn........... i need calories. my intake has been like 500-1000 calories a day for weeks.#fun lee fact: i resent my parents for taking care of my brother and never me but now i require them to take care of my brother and not me#bc they're frankly bad at it and even when i'm sick i get annoyed by ppl trying to do things for me#shut up. go away. stop talking to me. let me make this rice as if i don't exist in the real world
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Been seeing all the discussion about Tubbo being Em’s parents and…. 😬
It’s like we get a girl egg with all moms and it’s now feels like people are saying “she needs a dad!!” because a male is treating her like family…
I’m all for Tubbo being family to Empanada but being her dad?? It feels a lot like there are some misogynistic undertones there. Like family is not just parents it can be literally anything, same way Pepito has Foolish being grandma. Tubbo can have the same and be family in some way to Em.
But it’s like we have an all girl family but because the egg is interacting with others, people are inserting the males into it(the parent dynamic). Which just reads wrong when a majority of the island is male relationships and prominent male families where the girls are mainly just aunts to the children.
Have your headcannons but don’t try to insert them into the canon with your posts especially when a majority of the server relationships are male prominent.
#qsmp neg#qsmp discourse#just can we not have something for the girls?? also it feels even more weird when you do say that and people say well Tubbo’s gay anyway-#which how does that have anything to do with it??? like all for being strong family as in tio or smth like that#but pushing the hc of a gay dad in an all girl family feels like it has undertones i dont want to unpack rn#im not going to stop yall from having your headcanons but like take a step back and look at what the situation is and then think#also this literally happened when jaiden and roier were treating tilin and flippa like their children some people weren’t happy but not -#many weren’t watching multiple streams at the time so they’re wasn’t many complaining but its happened before#also happened a bit when bagi became richas mom#the only difference with those relationships where that the eggs choose and agreeds for them to be their parents#also it’s like yes we would love to see her parents log in more but literally they are all busy people and weren’t always incredibly active-#on the server apart from bagi which is smth the admins probably should have thought about if the new eggs were going to be taken care of#yes let em have her family and her lore but also let us have our female mums rep bc there is so little of it in qsmp#but calm down about em lore bc yall think its the most important thing out there when a whole losd of the eggs rarely have lore esp old eggs
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;~; (tags vent)
#i feel so lonely and i dont know how to fix it#im trying to engage with people. im trying ot take space. im trying but nothing is helping#and like im hormonal so i wanna cry about it today#and like this loneliness isnt for one reason only#there's no One Thing#but so so many things making me feel like i cant connect#and even wiht making progress and even with coping and even with reminidng myself its okay to just feel bad sometimes like#i want company. i dont want online company i want irl company. i want friends. and im so miserable about the fact that i struggle to#make irl friends - not bc im not a good friend!! honestly tehre's been plenty of opportunities for me to make friends is the worst part#between work; disabilities; energy; and like interests/things to talk about its really hard to make friends (and tbh the first three-#really are the biggest drains). and i love my online friends i do i jsut. miss them all so much when i talk too much and then it hurts more#and i lost a friend group recently so im feelng really out of place#nearly everyday for the last idk. 5 months i had a group of people going “hey. love you” (even if they didnt say it verbatim daily) and lik#im so sad! and the feelings are coming out today ig cause i havenothing to do at work so im just. here#but yeah - ik part of this grief im experiencing is YET AGAIN experiencing change and loss re:friendships bc of things largely out of my#control /: and every time this happens it just brings up every single wound#im talking with my therapist about it too i just. wish friends were more permanent in my life yk?#or at least that i had friends irl still /: but all my deepest connections are all So far away#and it hurts so much to miss ppl rn im just. isolating myself#but i dont awnt to TALK. i dont want to TEXT. i dont want to hang out on a vc. i awnt to be held and loved and just talked to about anythin#other than the stresses in peoples lives. i want people to infodump to me w/o me having to Beg or Engage Correctly#i want people to tell me about themselves. jsut fucking lore dump in my inbox. its not dumping. i dont care about trauma dumping. if you do#cw i guess i jsut. im so tired. im tired of the “haiiiiii love you!!!!!” i have to do over the keyboard to have social connections#im tired of being so disabled i cant make friends bc no one wants to be friends w/ me irl and all the reasons (“ur a flake” “u cancel plans#“u never want to go out” “u never have energy” “why do you disappear when you need to recharge it makes me feel bad?” etc etc etc) all#relate to me being disabled and like.i feel like the problem. my existence is a problem. and the worst part is all iwant to do is just.#go run errands with someone. do important tasks &get a little treat to celebrate after. go to the doctor. the hospital. wherever im allowed#i want ot be a PERSON#): i jsut miss my friends#and liek im going to a thing later this month to try and make friends irl even if its just exercise friends
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Random reminder to just, y’know, take a chill pill on yourself. Take a lil break and just rest your silly little anxiety-filled brain for a bit. Like, yeah, you’ve got imperfections but don’t drive yourself delulu over it.
You might be cringy but that’s okay!! You might suck at something or people might not like what you do but that’s also okay!! You might be a little bigger or a little smaller than others, but that’s okay!! You're cool!!
Now go get some water and maybe a snack and go take care of yourself!!!
#evil says things#reminder#positivity#body posititivity#important reminders#self care#Self love#I’m being really cringy and sappy rn#but#take a chill pill#y’know???#Edit: HELP I posted this to the wrong blog#welp#too late now
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I snapped today at work, and by snapped I mean I politely commented on a help desk ticket by summing up an mess of an (type of) issue that's come up for at least the fourth time in the 2+ months I've been managing user accounts, and asked the person responsible to fix it (himself for once) because last time I fixed his mess-up it took me two whole days to work out the details with at least four other colleagues from different departments and I really don't want to do it again. there's other shit that needs doing, I've been working 10+ hour days for most of this week already, so I need to cut down not add on more.
(good thing tho - at least we managed to fix the issue where the dataset of a newer employee got mixed up with another one of the same name and therefore wasn't able to apply for any of the access/accounts she needed. technically not entirely my area but it does impact us not being allowed to create an account for her so I figured I might as well track that issue down. took three days and at least three other people, but hey - it should all work out now. yay for that)
#been feeling anxious af ever since bc it's the first time I've been this firm in a reply and idk how they'll take it#there's underlying issues in inter-departmental communication that need fixing that cause these issues to happen again and again#but my boss is on parental leave and his substitute is sick not that she cares or is up for doing her job where communication is concerned#so there's no real sense in addressing that rn esp by me who's only been there since June. but it does frustrate me a lot#anyway. I'm sure I'll get over this too. but yeah.. ppl not thinking things through for the two mins it takes to create an account#or the twenty seconds it takes to check if one already exists before creating a new one#or the minute it takes to check if folks still have an active contract past their time working in your department before deleting an accoun#just jfc. put in a smidge of effort and five mins total and save the rest of us from spending half a day to fix your mistake#oh well. if I get a pissy response I'll just blame it on being new as an intern and being too motivated and idealistic I guess#god forbid I expect people to do their jobs thoroughly or with at least a singular thought..#anyway. I feel like I'm allowed to be grumpy abt this since we are the folks who end up having to fix this shit#and by we I mean pretty much mostly me at this point bc one colleague is sick atm. my boss barely has time for this and is on leave#and my other colleague only works half time so I'm the one who's been handling most of these over the past month or so#which.. is still insane considering how I'm a goddamn intern who shouldn't even have admin rights tbh#but without them I couldn't do anything at all lol so here I am. nice that they trust and believe in me I suppose#that's why I try to do my best. (who am I kidding that's always the case anyway)#but yeah. definitely a 50% staff support job and only 50% of the other important things that need doing rn it's more like 90/10#and it's funny how I still dread my two hours of hotline. but every time the line is too busy I still jump in#we are also only 6 people atm out of 10 and three of us are still in training. and one of the trained folks had to come back in mid time of#next week we'll likely be 4#depending on if our substitute boss lady is back.. not that I'd look forward to it. she's a mess and she's been horrible to deal with latel#sure. she's stressed. but she's either snapping at me when I ask abt shit I can't know yet or she's ignoring me. great basis for team work.#so honestly I'd rather she not return on Monday. esp not if she's gonna spread her germs everywhere#but now sleep. sorry for the rant. it's certainly been quite the month since I returned from my own wisdom tooth rated sick leave..#gotta be up again in 6.5 hrs so I can be at work at 6 to let the electrician in. I'm gonna sleep so hard over the weekend I stg#a day in the life of..
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HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYBODY!!!!!!
#AHHHHHHHHHHHHH#IT FEELS SO GOOD TO BE ON HERE AGAIN#I HOPE EVERYONE IS DOING SO FRIGGIN AMAZING#HUGGING YA'LL SO MUCH RN#I'M STILL TAKING CARE OF STUFF#SO I WON'T BE ON A WHOLE LOT#BUT I'M FEELING SO MUCH BETTER#I HAVE READ ALL#A L L#OF YALL ASKS#AND LET ME TELL YOU ALL ONE VERY#SUPER IMPORTANT THING#I ADORE YA'LL P/#SERIOUSLY#YOU GUYS ARE LIKE SUNSHINE TO ME#PLEASE KNOW THAT I AM SENDING SO MANY HUGS#AND LITTLE ORIGAMI HEARTS YOUR WAY#LIKE JARS FULL#SO MANY JARS#A WHOLE POOL FULL#YOU COULD PROBABLY SWIM IN IT JSSMKSSLAOSKSJWKWMWK#BUT SERIOUSLY#I ADORE YALL#I HOPE YOU ALL HAVE AN EXTREMELY WONDERFUL#AND VERY HAPPY NEW YEAR#AND MANY MANY MORE TO COME#*HUGS YOU ALL AGAIN AND AGAIN BECAUSE I CAN*#<33333333333333333333333
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sometimes i forget that most people don't take notes while they watch things. i only really do it for toku, but it's really helpful for my lore recognition and just figuring out the types of sets i want to make :)
#i handwrite them and have been doing them for some time having filled a few notebooks could this be connected to#a fear of forgetting things? probably but that's something i will not be unpacking rn#it may also connect to my need to observe every detail i can and analyze things#is it important to know that asuna likes cotton candy? idk but i think it's important that melto takes note of it and i think it tells me#about how observant he is and how he cares about what his friends enjoy#what do things mean? why are those details there? what narrative purpose do they serve?#umbrella.posts#umbrella.other
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spectragus dont get enough credit for being a sun and moon ship but like. destructive sun and moon ship. sun and moon ship but they're the forces of nature the sun and moon actually are. the sun is harsh and relentless and unpredictable in its evil but also it's kindness, the moon is sharp and cold and cruel, a harsh light that doesn't allow you peace, but can also guide you, a light in the darkness. even on nights with a new moon, with no light in the sky, the moon is always reflecting the sun, and it'll be that way until they come to their end.
#spectragus give me a dopamine high that any sort of drug couldn't even come close to giving me#its the loyalty. its the seeing each other at their worst and still staying.#its the being the only person still around who knows and understands what youve been through#its the being so important to each other's characters that u cant mention one without recognising the impact the other has on them#i dont rlly do shipping unless its funny but also im a huge gus fan so like. yea. plus my view on romance is a bit all over the place anyway#something something my skrunkles deserve complicated relationships that are more than romantic but something else#its the trust thats the most important thing to me. trust and loyalty and devotion and#im sorry but i would have exploded if i like. didn't write down these thoughts#anyways fucked up gay people who are a package deal and that is a threat thats them#ik the majority of my posts are hee hee funnie and i usually dont take things too seriously#but these two have taken up part of my brain permanently since i was 8. like. they just live there. rent free.#i am like rabid rn. i am feral and i am insane and i am crazy and there are so many things wrong with me#i cant even write down all my fuckin thoughts there's so many my brain is going to Explode pray for me#idk if u understand how important it is to me the times they show kindness even while at their worst#they're not good people but they have people they care about and they care abt each other and that matters SO much#i take 0 criticism on my posts i only take cash. however there is no possible criticism to be made bc i am RIGHT#also this all kinda sparked from me getting obsessed with a certain kh character who has a connection to the moon#who is also one of my favourite characters ever#and if u know who it is and u also like him ur very cool#im not tagging this w character tags. im like. very shy. but#i love gus i love spectra i love spectragus#anyways see u next time where i should hopefully have art maybe potentially#i found the brushes i used to use back when i did lineless art so i am rlly happy
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#hii.. im still not really here a lot re kpop its just not really like the most important thing in my life rn lol#but uh i guess my dog's passing is something i gotta deal on my own entirely. my mom seems pretty much over it without really taking me int#account at all. today shes even sorta like. making odd comments/jokes about it like 'i talk to toto sometimes' because we say this#weird lady on tv talking ab how she talks to deer heads. and i just stared at my mom like deadpan and just looked away#bc what the fuck. and ofc she wouldnt consider its not an ok thing to say . otherwise shes really like trying to make out that im being a#really good kid and taking care of her and her feelings bc shes inventing things in her head about me being extra nice and careful with her#shes like awww youre taking care of me <3 and im like no im actually treating you like you're a total stranger in my house because you#basically are. and anyway. im basically on my own like i always am. i just have to deal with it all alone. as always. which is like fine#its just im extra lonely and alone so <3 ive also been suicidal and really really on the edge. that's your alex update if anyone cares#to be completely honest it's been taking everything in me not to just od right now its all i can think about and i havent felt like it in#years. ive just been sleeping for 12 hours at a time lmao........ anyway yeah thats it?#mrow.org
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Can't believe that im A) scientifically and mathematicaly planning out conditions for what i need to do before i get my self-care day and that B) my plans for that self-care day is researching peekaboo galaxy and getting an official word doc for all the info i get to be more accessible for when i want to talk to people about it. Yes this includes researching the myth of Heracles, specificly the 12 labors in regards to the hydra. This also is probably going to include general more understanding of galaxies and the specific star that moved out the way to reveal peekaboo galaxy.
#I'm being so incredebly riduculous about this. I am ill rn i am fully allowed to take a self-care day if i wish#but i also need to get a few things done that arent super important but i dont have the motivation for#so im dangling peekaboo galaxy infront of me like a carrot to a pig or however that expression goes#space rambles#my posts
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#sry I need to vent more abt my tattoo pain bc I physically cannot do anything productive rn im completely and totally incapacitated#can’t read anything beyond short posts or texts. can’t eat or move at all#tried to sleep through it so it would at least Be Tomorrow so I can get medical help. but the jolts of pain make me like Jump#hence me being sent home from work early today like it’s not even that I was complaining I was just flinching involuntarily so much#and was unable to work or function at all. thank god I don’t work retail rn I remember the pain of tattoo infections in that context#it’s so Abrupt it feels like I’m being stabbed or repeatedly bitten#literally trying not to scream bc I have a roommate. but he almost certainly hears me crying and saying ouch#which sucks bc I barely know the guy lol he has no context. At least on my drive home I could scream as much as I needed#literally would go to the ER if I could afford it and that sounds so dramatic bc it is#it doesn’t feel like it can wait. genuinely don’t know how I’m gonna get through the night#I haven’t slept in like 60 hours and I doubt I will tonight. but it hurts too much to even tell if I’m tired#and I don’t have time for this!! I have so much I need to be doing. I hate that the only way I can have Time is to be Extra Disabled#in a way that leaves me completely unable to do the things I normally can fight through despite burnout#and I was just at health services yesterday asking them to do insurance paperwork that they couldn’t do#it’s embarrassing having to be like hey I was just there but can I come back#I have Another tattoo infection but I pinky promise I take such good care of them#and my artist is like the best of the best too. it’s like it doesn’t matter what either of us does to keep me safe#and I know if anyone responds to this it will be to tell me to stop getting tattoos#but that’s literally like telling me not to get top surgery if I’m immunocompromised n might have recovery complications#both are equally important gender affirming medical procedures to me I’m not joking#and I hate always having to justify this whilst in agonizing pain. I hate answering the same things every time bc still no one believes me#I say this as someone who lives every moment in baseline pain that would have your average person writhing on the floor and I ignore it#this is truly unbearable if I hadn’t been through it a million times I would think it was life threatening#just needed to get it out ig. bc it’s all I can physically do. until health services opens in 12 hours#PLEASE let them have availability tomorrow bc i have literally no option on weekends#this is just. so upsetting and embarrassing. I don’t have time or emotional capacity for this#personal#mine#vent post
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I'm not on the internet bc I don't have a life or need to be constantly entertained I literally spend car rides thinking and daydreaming and my idea of fun is making shit and organizing and being outside. I just have adhd and chronic fatigue and need to be able to do something interesting when i have no focus or energy to do something which is a lot of the time. I swear I am doing everything in my ability. Thanks 🙏
#im just#im literally sitting in my closet taking a break from reorganizing and putting away my clothes#scrolling on my phone to occupy my brain for a second#and seeing posts about getting off your phone and reading instead#and its like wish fulfillment it's not meant to be guilting like 'technology rots your brain' stuff#I'm not blaming anyone or anything#but I still feel guilty all the time for not doing more#for not taking a break in the right way#and maybe they have a point maybe I'd be happier if i was reading rn instead#but the guilt paralyzes my brain#no one's fault#things i gotta work thru#but yeah#i think that being able to be productive for your own sake is essential to self care#getting out and doing stuff#it's also important to understand the difference between executive dysfunction and depression and fatigue etc etc#cause different problems need different approaches#laziness is just a bunch of competeing needs making it difficult to move
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