#the heroes guilt complex knows no boundaries

[rosetyler42]

For Ericka Van Helsing:

A. Possibly not in so many words, but she gets the gist. She probably more thinks of, like, Pavlov's Dog than her brand of conditioning, but she's got the basic idea.

B. Kind of, yes. She's got YEARS of anti-monster racism, anxiety, hero complex, and repression to unpack and unlearn. Her biggest thing is the anti-monster racism, since that almost led to alot of people DYING and she now has a family of monsters, but she's trying to learn to relax and enjoy her new found freedom too.

C. It's a big drive for the more rebellious, mischievous, and adventurous part of her nature. She's both trying to figure out who SHE is outside of her expectations as a Van Helsing, as well as learn more about the world she was sheltered from - especially what things about monsters she's learned are true and what isn't. It's also a big reason she's less judgemental ("Hey, I'm in NO position to judge ANYONE. I was an accomplice to GENOCIDE and attempted murder 5 times! Whatever you did couldn't POSSIBLY be worse than THAT!") and she loves to push boundaries and see just what she can get away with - remember, she's a rich kid who resented being held to high standards and expected to follow strict rules her whole life and now is looking to indulge herself as much as possible. And more willing to give people who TRULY WANT to get better a second chance. After all...she used to be a hateful killer herself until someone showed HER kindness. She's also learned the best way to learn about someone is to befriend them and get them playing rather than studying or hating them.

However, as bouncy and optimistic as Ericka tries to be...it's a little harder to shake the idea that whatever she does, however much she tries to be better... there's a part of her that'll always be a bigoted, homicidal and genocidal maniac, the guilt she carries of the things she and her family has done, and the fear she could easily relapse and turn into Great-Grandfather in some way. Not only disappointing her new family but costing innocents their lives in the process. One of her biggest worries with the twins is both not loving them enough since their half monster AND treating them coldly because HER parental figure was strict and cold. She wants them to know their loved and for them to have freedom. But Drac and Mavis turned into Vlad and Drac without even trying. Can she really hope to be any different?

questions for conditioned characters

A) do they know what conditioning is? B) do they understand that they've been conditioned? C) how does this understanding, or lack thereof, affect their perception of themselves?

[colibrie]

Day 6: "It should have been me." (Follows Day 4)

"Wild..."

"Don't," Wild snarled, sand spraying beneath golden boots as he spun sharply to pace back in the direction he'd come. Heat rose in shimmering waves as the sun beat down on the Gerudo desert. But the young hero's heart was frozen like the depths of Tabantha as scenarios whirled through his mind, each more gruesome and horrid than the next.

"Wild, sit down before you give yourself heat stroke," Sky tried again, voice gentle as he held out a coaxing hand.

"Voe armor has sapphire's. Counteracts the heat."

"Not the point kid," Time replied, head tipped wearily back against the stone walls of Gerudo town. Their leader had stripped out of his armor in an attempt to ward of the ever opressive desert heat, and with out it he looked some how both older and younger than he should have any right to. "Wearing yourself out isn't going to fix things. Chief Riju already sent her best scouts into the desert to look for-"

"I should be the one out there!" Wild snapped, the fingers of one hand tapping anxiously on the handle of his slate as the other rose to angrily yank a lock of long blonde hair from his vision.

"The Yiga know the desert far better than we do," Wars interjected, only for his worlds to be rebuffed by a sharp shake of Wilds head.

"Not better than me. I know every inch of this damn place. I could find them if you'd just let me-"

"Let you do what? Charge out there all on your own with no back up and no plan?" Legend scoffed, raising his chin defiantly when Wild's eyes snapped up to meet his own in a glare. "I know that's how you usually work, and the Yiga clearly know it too. I'd bet everything I own that they are counting on it."

"So what if they are?!" Wild seethed, voice growing steadily louder as he took a step towards the Hero of Legend. "I have faced those assholes more times than any of you can dream. I infiltrated their based. I killed their damn leader!"

"Wild, no one is doubting your skills here. But-"

"WIND IS OUT THERE BECAUSE OF ME!" Wild bellowed. "THEY ARE HURTING HIM BECASUE OF ME! THEY MAY HAVE KILLED HIM BY NOW BECAUSE. OF. ME. THEY SHOULD HAVE TAKEN ME AND LEFT YOU ALL OUT OF IT. **IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME**!"

[hurtspideyparker]

Tony doesn't tell the Avengers about Peter's secret identity, but Peter starts coming over constantly and chilling around the tower, helping Tony in his workshop or eating dinner with everyone.

Since Tony is weirdly secretive about who the kid is, and the fact that Spider-Man is still a small unknown (presumably adult) hero who isn't on any Avengers radars, they all collectively come to the conclusion that he's Tony's illegitimate child.

Bruce: They do have the same eyes...

Steve: This is an inappropriate conversation to have. If Tony doesn't want to tell us then we shouldn't pry

Natasha: Tony doesn't even like kids. There's no way he would tolerate one if it wasn't because of his guilt complex. I'm surprised there isn't more little Starks running around considering his previous lifestyle

Clint: *cough* drunk slut *cough*. Oh excuse my throat, I meant to say he was a drunk slut

Natasha: Steve they're the exact same. Talk too much, too fast, genius brains that go right over our heads, stubborn, like to cope with humor, same body language. They'll have the same smile lines when Peter grows into them. The only difference is that Peter was raised with manners

Steve: I'm not saying I don't agree, I'm saying it's none of our business. Anyone with basic observational skills can tell they're desperate to fill father and son roles in each others' lives, but Tony's really weird about it, so we should let him keep it private

Clint: We probably make him nervous

Bruce: Because he thinks he's a bad dad?

Natasha: I think he's kinda good at it. Which is extremely unnerving

Steve: Honestly out of all of us I had bets on Bruce having a secret wife and kids hidden somewhere. Tony stepping up to be a father was lower on my list than Nat

Natasha: You have a list?

Bruce: You think I pull?

Steve: That's irrelevant. I think it's nice that they're so close already, but we don't need to press. It might mess up a good thing

Clint: Wait can we go back to this list business. Are these like pragmatic, military leader lists, or are these for pleasure? What other kinds of lists do you have? What about which one of us is most likely to turn on you. Or what you'd turn for. Oh! What about a list of all our weak points based on accessibility and intensity, with contingency plans in case of defection or aliens or brainwashing or alien brainwashing causing defection

Steve:

Natasha:

Bruce:

Steve: This is why Tony won't share his personal life with us.

They last another week before Clint, Natasha, and Bruce team up to steal a strand of Peter's hair and test it for paternity. Steve knows something is up, and follows Clint to Bruce's lab.

Steve: What are you doing...

Natasha: Admit it, you know exactly what we're doing and you want to see the results

Steve: I... well if you already have them there's no point keeping it from me

Clint: Tony Stark is not the daddy!

Tony: Which of my exes have you been talking to?

Clint: AH oh hey Tony didn't see you there

Steve: I'm not apart of this

Tony: Is this about Peter? He told me something plucked his head when he was walking down here. Which of you murder twins was hiding in the rafters

Natasha: Y'know he's not your kid, whoever told you he was lied to you and I hope you get your child support back

Tony: My kid? He's my intern. What funky kool-aid have you all been drinking, that boy is sorting my tool drawer right now. He has slightly better dexterity than Dum-E, it's been quite helpful

Bruce: You have really poor professional boundaries if he's just an intern

Tony: Okay fine. He's actually Spider-Man. I didn't wanna tell anyone cause the Accords were still fishy, but everything should be good now. Anyways, he really wants to train with you guys so you'd have to know eventually

Clint: Who the hell is Spider-Man?

Steve: That guy in Queens who helps bring in peoples' groceries?

Tony: Well, yeah—listen, he's like 14 and he just got his powers. I'm not exactly sending him to fight armed terrorists yet. He'll grow into it, but trust me, there's potential. I'm kind of like his mentor

Steve: You really don't need to do that

Bruce: Yeah we'll all help out from now on

Natasha: Don't take too much responsibility for the boy

Clint: Oh god what have you been teaching him?

Tony: Thanks for the vote of confidence guys. Whatever, now that you all know he'll be hounding you all day for advice anyways. Good luck with that. Friday tell Pete to come down here, the Avengers are gonna train with him

Tony leaves them all, snickering to himself as loud footsteps come crashing down the hallway. If they didn't know any better they'd say several elephants were tripping down the stairs. Then, the doors burst open, Peter's mouth already running a mile-a-minute.

Peter: Really, you guys know, you guys will teach me? Can I use the shield, Ms. Romanoff can you show me how to kick, show me with Mr. Barton, or, or Mr. Rogers. I can take down someone bigger than me, I'm actually really strong. Wanna see? Why are we in Bruce's lab, is that my first lesson! Can I touch this? What are you making here, how long has this been distilling, what about my webs, have you ever seen my webs? I did them myself, but I bet we could make them even better, watch out it's really sticky—

Steve ends up with webs all over his face, several of Bruce's beakers broken from the white spray, one reacting poorly with it and exploding all over Clint and Natasha. Bruce immediately shoves them into the decontamination shower, leaving them as two drenched rats wearing skin-tight combat gear. Natasha is already fuming at the thought of trying to peel it off.

Peter: I'm really sorry, I didn't know it was on ricochet... the splitter webs were just 'cause I panicked

Steve: This is why I told you all to leave it be.

"Noted," they all say in unison.

[sepublic]

In lieu of my latest reblog about people taking compelling characters and projecting their writing onto some other (usually white) dude, I want to bring up a post I had drafted all the way back from April, but never posted because at the time I still had enough patience not to. But now is different. I do think this analysis is a bit outdated because it doesn’t consider the mediocre white dude angle of Belos that I find paramount, but it’s good enough for my repurposed point.

-

            I find it funny when some people complain that the narrative was unfair to Belos despite his “trauma” and circumstances, like there aren’t multiple characters out there who parallel his issues, and get sympathy AND a redemption, in all but one case! Belos is narratively condemned not for what he has in common with others, but for what sets him apart, particularly his stubborn ego. Cases in point;

         “Belos deserved to have sympathy for having an unhealthy attachment to his more confident sibling that was mixed with resentment over being abandoned for someone else, culminating in guilt over hurting them and regretting it!”

         Lilith exists. She’s motivated by a massive inferiority complex with Eda, Gwen favors her. She’s clearly salty about Eda going off to have fun with Raine, and claims to Luz that she’s Eda’s ‘real’ family. She cursed her sister and felt enormous guilt over it… But in the end, Lilith IS given sympathy by the narrative, and the chance to redeem herself. And she takes just that.

         A lot of the people claiming Belos deserved better theorize that stabbing Caleb was an accident, and you know what? So was the permanence of Eda’s curse, Lilith expected it to only last a day and certainly not transform her sister. But Lilith still owned up. And she learned to make other friends while respecting Eda’s boundaries.

         “Belos was an orphan raised in a culture that encouraged genocide and a hatred of wild magic!”

         Caleb exists, he went through the exact same childhood as Philip, but still chose to change. And while they weren’t orphans at the time, Hunter and the Collector were also raised on genocide, taught to find wild/Titan magic apprehensive. But they loved it instead.

         “But Belos actually lost his brother, his loved one died!”

         So did Hunter’s! And he was shown to be snappy and aggressive, pouring himself into a mission to cope! But he still owned up, apologized to Willow for rebuking her. He lost Flapjack, and instead of making replicas of his lost loved one to keep to himself, discarding anyone that wasn’t close enough, Hunter made a diverse array of palismen for other kids, to give them the loving relationship he lost! Even his own palisman was clearly carved to be different from Flapjack, reminiscent but still their own thing.

         Then there’s Darius, who lost his mentor the previous Golden Guard; His own ‘Caleb’, so to speak! And he was also unpleasant about it, he took his grief out on Hunter, who had nothing to do with this! The canon audio diaries even confirm the apprehension has been going for a while… But Darius realized he was wrong to have projected onto Hunter, made up for this by practically adopting the kid and giving this kid the happy ending his mentor didn’t have; Passing the cycle of kindness the Golden Guard started. And his own grief is pointed out to the audience by Hunter himself.

         “They should’ve shown how having a hero complex and a desire to live out a fantasy can corrupt anyone!”

         Luz and the Collector. Luz herself makes these comparisons for Belos, and there were times where she hurt her friends trying to live out her fantasy, and/or planned to leave them under the impression she was doing the ‘right thing’. Luz makes a legitimate consideration that she could’ve been Belos, if she refused to listen to others and change. But Luz owned up! As did the Collector, whose escapism and wish to play the role of the ‘hero’, in this case Luz, causes them to do some pretty terrible things. But they still change after being called out, and are still given sympathy over the loneliness and trauma that fueled their escapism, as was Luz.

"Philip struggled with getting over a different type of fantasy, one that relied upon him conquering and hurting others!"

As did King! And King got over that, he quickly learned that other people would always be more important than his fantasies, even if the 'sacrifices' were a lot more minor. King started off the same, the difference is that he still grew up and that's why we judge his antics as so much more light-hearted.

         “Well that’s not fair, Philip’s examples were more extreme!”

         How about Eda’s curse? Belos never brings up his other sources of trauma as an excuse for his actions, but you know what he does invoke? His curse, claiming to Hunter and Luz that it forced him to act certain ways. But we see Eda, who got a rawer deal with her curse; She didn’t bring it upon herself, as Belos did. She legitimately loses control when it takes over. She scarred and disabled her father because of it, and you know what?

         Eda never uses her curse as an excuse. She never lets that justify what she’s done to people, and she even befriends the creature at the source of her curse, the Owl Beast. The curse she deals with is objectively worse, objectively more unfair, than Belos’. But it’s only Belos who actually cites his curse as an excuse, and the palismen at the source of it? He kills them.

         “Belos’ cursed form is treated as ugly and evil!”

         The palismen amalgam in his mind looked almost exactly the same, to the point where Hunter, who had seen Belos’ cursed form in person before, thought they were identical. But in the end, the palismen amalgam, despite resembling Belos’ cursed form, is a sympathetic and tragic victim who is murdered. Luz and Hunter mistaking him for Belos is justified, but it’s also still regrettable that they are judged by appearances.

         “It hurts people to sacrifice their morals for the greater good, you know!”

         Raine did that, they felt compelled to drag Darius and Eberwolf (one of whom was a childhood friend) into a murder-suicide, because as far as they knew, they were already going to be caught and executed, so may as well take their oppressors down with them! And they aren’t called out for it, because they couldn’t have known about Darius’ actual intentions…

         Because in the end, sometimes you have to punch a fascist, and sometimes you have to oppose a friend or loved one because they took the fascists’ side. It’s why Lilith is expected to change for Eda, not the other way around. Raine is not the aggressor here, it’s all from the principle of self-defense for themselves and the isles as a whole.

         And in the end, it’s because Raine is approaching from a place of actual good intent and moral concern that there are lines they still refuse to cross; As soon as they learn about Luz and King, they sabotage their own plans because they refuse to orphan these kids they just found out about for the ‘greater good’. When one of those very kids, Luz, makes Raine promise to keep Eda safe, you can see the conflict between their morals and their obligations in their eyes as Eda accepts the Bard sigil, and ultimately Raine powers through the draining spell to save Eda’s life, simply because Luz asked them to.

         I’ve talked since their debut of how Raine has some similarities to Belos, in particular how they both work their whole lives to infiltrate a group from within to topple it, even as they publicly support it as a celebrated leader. They both had to lie and work under the radar, and make effective rhetoric; They each wear their own masks. Raine has to constantly lie to and rebuke Eda about being brainwashed, and we can see the moral agony it gives them!

         But Raine is opposed to a legitimate threat, whereas Belos is completely making one up; Raine has to work under the micro-management of tyrants with control over them, Philip has been free from his colony for centuries, and even after finding out Gravesfield gave up on its witch hunting mission in the present, still traps himself of his own will. Belos feels no guilt for any of his ‘necessary evil’.

         Raine had actual morals unlike Belos that they did sacrifice, for an actual greater good, and they actually hurt over these choices. They dedicated their whole life to stop a dark and twisted parallel, which makes their inclusion in the finale as the only person outside of the core trio to help against Belos all the more deserved; They even help deliver the killing blows. And Raine is rewarded for all of their effort, allowed to see it come to fruition and rest happily afterwards, because they really were sincere, and actually did make sacrifices, something Belos preaches but never follows. Most importantly, Raine knew they couldn’t justify everything even for their morally-justified mission.

         “Belos was still legitimately wronged by Caleb for nothing, he didn’t deserve to be abandoned!”

         Even if we believe Caleb did ‘abandon’ Philip or whatever; The Collector was legitimately wronged by the Titan, imprisoned and isolated for millennia despite being innocent. But while he justifiably calls the Titan a bully, he never takes this out on King, or any other Titan for that matter, remembering the rest with love. Nor is the Collector expected to forgive the Titan; The Titan accepts she made the wrong call. After all, imprisoning the Collector left them in a vulnerable state to be exploited by Belos, and give him the draining spell…

         The Titan and Caleb’s mistakes were very much that, but the Collector matured for others, without needing an apology from the dead person who wronged him. And based on what we see of Belos’ memories, Caleb probably DID get to deliver that apology when he was alive, and Philip still insisted on being bitter!

         “His only childhood friend just ditched him for someone else!”

         That’s what happened to Willow, and that’s how she understood it for most of her life; Amity leaving her behind because she was too weak, and kids like Boscha and Skara were more popular, stronger, etc. But not only does the show say her rage against Amity is totally warranted and that the onus is on Amity to apologize, even if she didn’t choose to leave Willow (keep in mind she still saw Willow as a weak person to protect without input, as we later see in Labyrinth Runners)…

         Willow is still kind. She still opts to be compassionate to Gus, and to Luz, and in general a nurturing person despite her abandonment. And when Willow is given the chance to take revenge on Boscha by stealing her glory in Grudgby, she doesn’t kick the girl while she’s down to do so; But Willow is also allowed to still hold anger towards Boscha, as we see in Season 3. And assuming Caleb wasn’t malicious about leaving Philip behind, we clearly see how he welcomes his brother back and wants things to get better, just as Amity does; He had his own side of the story. And Willow doesn’t kill Amity despite being primed to very easily do so…

"But imagine finding out they CHOSE to leave you, when you thought they didn't!"

Camila?!?! In fact, Camila was THE precedent for this, and people went and applied her tragic scene to Philip to make HIM into some angsty sadboi! And last I checked, Camila didn't exactly murder Luz... Plus, Philip had infinitely more time to see Caleb and Evelyn interact, and thus figure out that Caleb wasn't being kidnapped or brainwashed; Compare that to Camila who is just dunked into that situation out of nowhere, and is barely even adjusting to Vee's existence on top of finding out Luz was someplace else the entire time, and dealing with Jacob.

"A lot of family members at least start off as well-intentioned when hurting loved ones, they could've shown that!"

Bold of you to assume that Belos' selfish entitlement towards Caleb is the same as Camila or Gwen's legitimate concerns for their daughters; They did unconditionally love and they were misguided. But when shown they were causing pain, they actually shifted gears instead of focusing on how they were fight because they knew better. And what they were doing WAS still harmful, even though they DID care.

         “Belos was probably a weirdo himself, and suffered from internalized hatred for his deviancy!”

         Lilith dyed her hair to fit in with the coven, and be taken seriously. Amity suppressed herself to be a stoic perfectionist, constantly trying to justify her own existence as she says; She had to work to be good at magic while others like Gus, Emira, and Edric were naturally talented, and was made to hate those who weren’t successful as witches. Hunter too loathed his own lack of bile magic!

         Most tellingly, Camila herself was taught to hide her weirdness, grew up thinking she was successful for doing that, and even tried to impose the same on Luz because of that misconception! But Camila realized what was done to her was wrong, and the same applied to her daughter; Accepting Luz’s weirdness meant accepting her own.

         “Even if he still chose to double down in villainy, Belos could’ve at least been given a moment where he was sympathetic, where his sadness was shown, before nevertheless deciding his fate!”

         Kikimora had an entire episode where she agonized over her obligations to a mother that seemed low key abusive, given her threat to disown her. We see her hesitate, cry, and be legitimately disappointed when she’s rewarded for staying with Belos by ‘getting to live’, a reward that doesn’t even last by the Day of Unity! Even after Kikimora makes her choice to betray Luz and Amity, we still get a final scene of her looking uncertain and even regretful of her decision, before she commits. Kikimora isn’t redeemed but is still humanized, despite being less human than Belos, so to speak.

         She’s even a dark parallel to Lilith, having jealousy towards the Golden Guard, an emotionally abusive mother, and an inferiority complex towards other members of the coven despite working directly with Belos! And she is given many chances to escape Belos, a few months where she is legitimately free from him, and chooses to remain in her ways because Kikimora’s difference with Lilith isn’t that life was more unfair to her, it’s that she refused to change.

         Now this is a bit out there, but there’s also the other Coven Heads! Mason, Vitimir, Hettie, and Osran! The show was shortened, so who knows what they could’ve provided for the story… Mason, Hettie, and Osran especially, since they’re not included amongst the coven head loyalists who still cling to power, even after Belos’ death. The show could’ve easily set up sympathetic moments to indicate a possibility of change, paying off in the epilogue; But because of Disney, you can’t blame the writers for not delivering everything they could’ve.

         “How about a character who was just… an asshole, no outside reason given?”

         Boscha, who was popular and privileged. While she does allude to some pressures that motivate her, as far as we know, there wasn’t really anyone or anything that made her be so cruel towards those she perceives as lesser. But despite this, Willow doesn’t see any point in trying to take Boscha’s spotlight as a Grudgby captain, when offered by her teammates; She doesn’t kick Boscha when she’s down. And Boscha is ultimately still recognized as unhappy with the loss of her friends, so even if she does do egregious things during the Collector’s reign, Amity offers Boscha the chance to become better and improve, as she did. And she takes it!

         “Well, none of these characters had to grapple with having done things nearly as bad as Belos!”

         And why do you think that is? Why are Belos’ sins so monumental in comparison, how did they get so bad? Because he kept refusing to change, kept refusing each opportunity, and got worse because of that. His first confirmed murder was Caleb, who right beforehand embraced his brother during what appeared to be a manifestation of the curse. But Philip still chose to commit his first sin despite receiving such unconditional sympathy, because he wanted control, not happiness. He didn’t start off as a genocidal dictator, he worked his way up to that over centuries.

         “They make it seem like Belos was born evil!”

         Our earliest chronological appearances of Philip are as a happy, carefree child who plays games with the brother he loves and looks up to; That isn’t the portrayal of someone ‘born’ evil. This is the portrayal of someone who became that way, over time, because he refused to concede anything to anyone, and wore away what decency he had across centuries, until we see the Emperor that Belos is when the show starts.

         An evil dictator who ravaged an entire world for hundreds of years came from an innocent little kid, and Luz becomes self-aware of how this can apply to her, even as she’s reminded that she also ISN’T like Belos because of this critical reflection and willingness to listen. Belos, on the other hand, consciously cultivated an echo chamber for centuries, killing any Grimwalker he felt disagreed with him, despite their unconditional love and support. He deliberately shut himself off from the isles and ignored the kindness of others.

         Bump reminds Faust that it’s disingenuous to project malice onto children who often simply don’t know any better, and just need to be given a chance to be taught and educated. But kids also have to take initiative to mature when they get older, hence why we hold adults more responsible; The established logic is that Belos wasn’t an evil child, he was simply a child who never grew up and that’s where his evil came from, rather than being some pre-existing source.

         To be honest, I think the narrative doesn’t bother showing sympathy to Belos over his trauma because he’s already HAD more than enough sympathy, across centuries, from his brother, the Grimwalkers, his followers, even Luz and the Collector! So the story doesn’t feel the need to waste tears on someone who already got them, and instead focuses sympathy to characters who haven’t received as much, if any; People like Lilith, Amity, Hunter, etc.

         Belos is the culmination of other characters’ traumas (who prove you can still choose to be better and happier despite these things), and was practically coddled by the people in his life for it. But he still chose to be bitter, never opened up to accept help, and his rejection brought even more pain that he could only blame on himself. Belos’ only tragedy is his refusal to change for the better; Even the narrative has made it clear he had chances, tears wept for him by people he knew.

He is a mirror to so many characters, what could’ve happened if they looked at their own pain and used it as justification to continue lashing out, because clearly they are the underdog heroes who have been wronged and are fighting against an injustice, right? The hero of their own story, if you will. Hell, we still also get that with Kikimora, as I just said! What I’ve listed is not a double standard, but rather proof that Belos was not uniquely condemned by his circumstances, for he is alike many characters as I mentioned. And Belos does not need to be portrayed “sympathetically” in order for the audience to understand the relevance of these parallels; Namely, that Belos has no excuse to still be like this when those similar nevertheless choose not to be cruel, and will accept others’ compassion.

         And besides, with how the show was shortened… Who’s to say the writers didn’t plan to throw Belos a sympathetic moment of genuine loneliness, before doubling down? Not that they really would’ve needed to. But if they planned it, the writers had to leave it out to prioritize the weirdos this show is actually about, due to the shortening.

[minquiec]

A character analysis of a character that doesn't even actually exist besides the boundaries of my own brain

Another essay in which I go completely unhealthily insane about my own character. Once again unchecked, unproofreaded, un-everythinged

Jia is a character who I tried to put layers into, or as much as I have really tried because my brain is far too smooth to come up with well written complex characters. Seeing as I've never actually introduced her personality or lore, I'll occasionally give overviews to give certain contexts. While she still isn't fully fleshed out, I'll just be regurgitating things I've pulled from my brain because it's one am and I need to release this pent up energy somehow.

A core theme of Jia's character is uncertainty. This ranges from parts of her personality to her backstory and her journey as 'Spider Girl'.

backstory

Let's discuss her backstory first briefly. Jia was born outside of China and grew up in various places. As a child, her family was constantly on the move for mostly work reasons from her parents. Her parents themselves weren't bad parents but weren't the kind of people that were meant for raising children. Both of her parents worked as scientists that travelled often for research purposes and while they loved Jia, their love for their work was far greater. Their dreams were far greater than Jia. Being raised in such instability both in terms of location and emotional connection, would inevitably lead to her developing issues with her communication on an emotional level which would then prove to be a problem that contributes to her uncertainty as 'Spider Girl' and her 'not so canon event'.

personality + attitude

The uncertainty within Jia's personality is buried underneath her other qualities. Not in the sense where she's creating a fake personality but she has just pushed it aside to quite literally not think about it. The most literal example of this is her split soul concept. Her dwelling uncertainty of her role and her future as 'Spider Girl' has literally brought a manifestation and caused a split within herself. Unconsciously, Jia had developed a fear for uncertainty which led her habit of often just not thinking about it instead. The uncertainty of her future was increased tenfold when she became 'Spider Girl' which was what caused her to become so hesitant to wholeheartedly accept her role and responsibility. As far as Jia is aware, she only knows she doesn't feel the will to fully commit to her duties as a hero but doesn't know what the cause of this reluctance is leading to guilt because she's aware that 'with power comes responsibility'. This inner turmoil was the main drive of her soul splitting as she very reluctantly took her role as 'Spider Girl' without addressing her issues with it.

Her hesitancy with her duties is subconsciously reflected in her actions and attitudes. For example her 'title' is Spider Girl, whereas most others have deviated from the name spiderman or spidergirl she half heartedly just went with whatever was practical. While the title is technically what she is, it doesn't really reflect her as a person. It was just something to fill in the gaps with no thought attached to it. Another example is her mask. Jia often prefers to have her mask off, primarily because there is this running joke of others calling her an orange because of her suit design. Another reason she insists is that it's suffocating underneath the mask both in a literal sense and a figurative sense as she wears the mask to be someone she doesn't want.

Majority of the time, Jia would be portrayed as this somewhat unserious but easy going character to others. She's relatively friendly and gets along well with most. What she keeps beneath her other qualities is her pessimistic leaning and 'realistic' outlook. Jia tends to take extra contexts and factors into perspective and would take the most realistic approach to things because that's the safest course of action, no matter how much it doesn't sit well with her heart.

Even Jia's location has links to uncertainty. Like I had said earlier, Jia was not born in China and since her parents had always been busy her connection with her nationality has always been a little strained. Being suddenly dumped to live with your grandma in a land you hardly know is bound to lead to uncertainty and ironically she ends up feeling disconnected to the very place she's supposed to protect.

extra

In a way, Jia's character is a metaphor for growing up. Her story can almost be interpreted as a coming of age plot where she, a 19 year old girl, is put through the motions of life while she's left to deal with the uncertainty of the future. Suddenly she must carry a responsibility that she doesn't know how to handle and is unable to let anyone else know, both in a 'This is my secret identity' way and in a 'I'm emotionally constipated because I don't know how to communicate' way. Instead of healthily regulating her thoughts and emotions on the matter, she mentally blocks it away to focus on the much nicer things in life. In this sense, she could almost be seen as selfish or childish as she tries to almost cling onto the last remaining time of having a '-teen' in her age. This is reflected in her hairstyle choice, seeing that hair like hers are often associated with younger children, albeit she does this unintentionally/subconsciously.

Despite all, Jia still persists. Despite her being so uncertain on just about everything, she wholeheartedly believes that the city she lives in is something worth protecting. Despite her disconnectedness to her homeland, she loves it all the same within the two years of living there. There is still that 'spiderman' goodness within her that drives her to do what's right to protect her city as much as it drives her nuts, basing off the logic of "if I don't do it, then who will?".

why jia fell for hobie

In a sense, Hobie saves her. To Jia, Hobie is someone who she never knew she would interact with, nevermind become attached to. They are different in so many ways that she never would've guessed they could even talk. However this perspective was only because she grew up in the typical society of norms and labelling of who's who. His views are so drastically different to what she is used to but she feels almost an affinity for the values behind them. Through their time of being together, his way of doing things influences her in many ways. His own commitment to his beliefs essentially acted as a foundation for her to begin solidifying her own decisiveness on her actions both as a person and being a spiderperson. More importantly, it's the way he's against rules and systems. While Jia isn't a stickler for rules, her outlook on life is realistic like I said before. Jia knows that they are from different universes and that realistically, they can never have their ending together. However, for obvious reasons, he doesn't give a damn for what is or isn't possible. His 'organized chaos' brings almost a solace in Jia as she can rely on him to stay true to himself.

their relationship in more detail

Jia is romantically constipated as hell. That's pretty much her in a nutshell. Growing up with semi absent parents will make it hard for you to ask or communicate. Miraculously, platonic friendships are totally fine for her but every becomes awkward for her on a romantic scale. During their friendship arc, Jia found herself finding much comfort in his presence because he was always so easy to talk to. She knew at one point that she liked him but nearly cast it aside because she knew she could never have the courage to do anything about it. In fact just thinking about how she would have to probably ask him out officially and confess made her shrivel at the idea. Or that's what the 'normal' way of asking out was. Luckily for her, he doesn't follow. He never made it a special occasion or anything and it was completely on an ordinary hangout between themselves where he just dropped a 'I like you' which made her brain explode but she appreciated it so much afterwards that he never made a big deal out of it all.

If she was in a relationship with anyone else, her s/o most likely would've become highly frustrated with Jia as she's not one to initiate dates, affection, gifts or any of the traditional romantic gestures because she's just so out of touch with what to do. Hobie has no expectations for such and much prefers spending time together without it needing a special reason. The affections and actions are much more mundane between them to a point where it's not meant to show others but more towards simply being comfortable with each other. It's the simple things that matter more for them like the feeling of warm skin to remind themselves that they are alive after a bad patrol or quick kiss pressed to the cheek for no reason other than the emotion threatening to spill in their chest when they look at the other.

why he ended up liking her

This is all mostly based on my own headcanon of him where he has a preference for simplicity because of the chaos in his universe. Jia is a simple girl. She's the kind of person who really enjoys the simple things in life as a way to forget about her uncertainty. If she was a colour she'd be a pale light yellow, someone who's vaguely joyful and bright but not in a straining way. Besides the bare minimums of being a good person, Jia is a really good listener. While he doesn't essentially force his views on anyone (literally defeats his purpose), he does offer his opinion on a lot of things in a straightforward manner. Jia always listens wholeheartedly and engages actively instead of just brushing him off. While she doesn't completely turn her life upside down to follow him in his ideals because y'know it's hard to change a lifestyle you've lived all your life, she does take small things into consideration in her life after hearing him talk or tagging along for things that he believes is important. It's something he appreciates about her for. He finds himself at ease around Jia and even more so in private where he sticks so, so close to her. I wholeheartedly believe he is a gentle guy but not the traditional sense where he's all smiles or something you usually associate with that but in a way where affections are nearly always soft and meaningful. Prior to Jia, his lifestyle never exactly allowed this kind of mundane comfort that she brings. The warmth of someone else's skin in his hands is something he seriously loves and often grounds his loud brain. Love languages between them is prominently quality time, physical touch and acts of service. He shows care through actions rather than proclamations. Although soft moments are only reserved for behind doors and mostly occasional as 98% of the time he's this annoyingly infuriating loveable bastard rat of a man.

Why they cannot end up together (until the very end)

While it's not established within the relationship, as the creator I see a 'power' dynamic between them. While Hobie saves Jia, she doesn't save him in the way he does. From the creator's perspective, Jia needs him far more than he needs her in a sense which creates an imbalance. This is why the modern au is their true happy ending where Jia doesn't have to face the heavy burden of her uncertainty and both don't need to bear the responsibility of the world upon their shoulders. In a world where instead of night patrols, nights could be spent for spontaneous midnight snack runs or a world where instead of worrying about how to protect their city and loved ones for another day, all they needed to worry about was grocery lists and folding laundry.

[icharchivist]

how is cloud this awkward

he's SO awkward.

Like, Cloud tries to mask his self with the tough soldier's front but he's genuinely a dork and rather socially awkward and doesn't always know what to do and all. He's so, so often awkward, or doing something silly just because.

And generally once his friends manage to peel through the tough guy facade they get to tease him more because actually, he's such a dork, and so he is just even more awkward because his broody face isn't saving him anymore.

He's such a fun character. The only place he's always comfortable with is fighting. Anything else he's like a deer caught in the headlights.

though if you want a serious answer, i'm inviting you under the read more (but also, spoilers)

like on the big why? he was not getting along with the kids of his hometown who found him a bit weird because he was shy and reserved, and while Tifa did like him as a friend, her group of friends were mostly uncomfortable around Cloud because of that

(adding to it Cloud only lived with his mother, who was single, never clarified what happened to the father aside from the fact Cloud never knew him, and there was a stigma over his mom raising a kid alone which also served to isolate them a little due to the rumors and stuff, all while Cloud didn't want to be a burden to his mother so he didn't rely on her heavily).

and then eventually, Tifa had an accident the folks of the village thought Cloud had provoked (she learnt about her mother death and ran into the mountain they lived on to cry, and Cloud tried to follow her because it was dangerous, and Tifa slipped and fell in a huge gap, and Cloud tried to catch her but fell with her. When the adults found them, Tifa has been severely injured, but Cloud got away with it only with scrapped knees. So people basically started rumoring it's Cloud who must have dragged her there and it's his fault. And Cloud started to believe it too.)

All of this to say, it isolated him even more and all, and because of his guilt over it he himself took his distances from Tifa.

So he basically grew up without a real friend group and this weird sense of guilt toward Tifa, and so he played it tough because the one thing encouraging him is that he wanted to be a hero like Sephiroth (who was already a war hero at the time). And because everyone wanted to be a hero like Sephiroth, well, he also had a tad of a superiority complex that he's not like those NORMAL KIDS, HE will make it to Soldier, for sure!

so he left his hometown only after promising to Tifa he'll come back when he can protect her (it's a promise she asked him to make to be clear)

But joining the army as a teen didn't solve any of his problems (who would have thought) because at this point he was already rude and offputting and when he failed to pass the Soldier's appliances and was instead put in the Infantry, he was extremely salty but also soulcrushed that he was not as good as he had hoped he could be.

And so on that level he was already socially awkward from not managing to connect with people as a kid, and when he joined the army he found this gap even more jarring and it's implied he didn't really make a lot of friends there because he's was a jerk to them.

It's when he met Zack that things became a little different, because Zack was this cool Soldier First Class, friend of Sephiroth, who immediately found Cloud cool because of the same nerdy things he would do. He immediately hit off with Zack because Zack basically build him up and encouraged him and mentored him.

Like in Crisis Core there's a few scenes where Cloud is even surprised Zack remembers him while Zack is like "how could i forget you", the others infantry folks made fun of Cloud because he's motion sick while Zack genuinely cared and worried for him, you even have a scene where Zack invites Cloud for dinner and the others Infantry men Cloud was around at the time kinda invited themselves and Cloud was too awkward to set boundaries because he can't quite monopolize their superior right? (but Zack just wanted to spend time with Cloud so it was awkward for him too).

hell, Cloud was in the SAME ROOM AT ZACK and then when Zack JUST LEFT THE ROOM Cloud sent him this:

they were IN THE SAME ROOM. CLOUD STRIFE MOST AWKWARD OF THEM ALL.

and also this is an email Cloud sent him, too, while they were STILL ROOMING IN THE SAME ROOM:

sorry i got lost in the sauce i'm unwell, but basically the tldr, Cloud is this awkward because he literally just mostly was isolated in his youth trying not to be a burden and feeling guilty for anything that happened next to him, was even more isolated and awkward once he joined the army and realized he wasn't as good as he hoped his status as an outcast would make him, and he just sucks at communicating with people.

the two people he ever admired so much that when he got amnesia he based his personalities around them were Sephiroth and Zack.

while keeping in mind that Sephiroth's ultimate betrayal really messed Cloud up and made him unable to look up to him again, while Zack literally died for Cloud.

But as we move in the OG, as he plays up his whole "i'm not here to make friends, i'm here to fight" persona that he carefully crafted without realizing, he gets to meet people who make him drop his mask. and under all of this cool and jaded persona he built up, he's just an awkward kid who never could connect with anyone and the only people he genuinely looked up to ended up fucking him up quite badly.

so i lost track of what i meant but this is why Cloud is just genuinely this awkward. It's honestly more of a surprise that he manages to be as composed as he is tbh

[superectojazzmage]

Ever since Al Ewing’s next big project/sequel to Immortal Hulk, Immortal Thor, got announced, I’ve been wracking my brain as to what it’s going to actually be like and be about. I mean it’s obvious that Ewing is going to try and do for Thor what he did for Hulk; a massive, boundary-smashing run that ties together the character’s entire history into a single coherent epic and returns him to his roots while simultaneously sending him into insane new directions. But what’s that going to actually BE LIKE?

Let’s look at what we know. In the announcement interview, Ewing specifically mentions how Thor as a character and series has always been more fantasy, hope, and adventure-oriented than Hulk’s sci-fi psychological dread and doom. He describes Immortal Thor as basically being the New Testament to Immortal Hulk’s Old Testament. The solicitation puts a lot of emphasis on Thor as a hero who battles impossible odds to protect the vulnerable and oppressed, and whose heroism comes at terrible cost to himself. And there’s, of course, emphasis on Thor being “immortal”; of how he’s been saving the world for countless centuries, such that he’s been known by many different names. There’s specific mention of Thor battling threats like “Elder Gods”, calling to mind some of the classic Thor storylines where he battled forces even greater than he like the Celestials and Surtur and Jormungandr. And clearly there is going to be heavy religious themes to the story, as Immortal Hulk was, at its center, a religious tale, and with Thor that’s going to be even more pronounced given Thor is directly modeled on/inspired by a real deity.

I think that Immortal Thor is going to be a horror story much like Immortal Hulk was. But it’s going to be in a different way. Dark fantasy in contrast of Immortal Hulk’s science fiction. Immortal Hulk was a story about a normal man who stepped into a mad world and tried to understand why these bad things happened to him, to comprehend the strange cosmic happenings, and ultimately was forced to realize that he CAN’T understand the vast, unknowable thing he’s chasing, at least not like this. That he’s getting only a snapshot of an ocean that will destroy him if he keeps pushing into its depths.

Immortal Thor will be the opposite. The story of a hero, a god who understands the vast weight and complexity and terror of what he’s facing, but fights nonetheless to protect the world. A sentinel standing guard over a world that barely understands how precarious its position is. An eternal hero fighting an eternal war in the vein of Michael Moorcock’s protagonists, weathering the horror and trauma for people who barely understand him, like a soldier who leaves his utopic city everyday to hold back the monsters just outside their walls while everyone is none the wiser. That’s he’s deep-sea-diving in the ocean and being pummeled by its tides and pressures and monsters.

Immortal Thor is, like Immortal Hulk, going to be a story of immortality and not being able to die, of trauma and the struggle to find peace afterwards, and of trying to hold yourself together in the face of something incomprehensibly vast. But where Immortal Hulk was essentially the story of a civilian, a peasant’s take on such a thing, Immortal Thor will be that of a soldier or king’s. It will be a story of a shell-shocked, burnt out Thor trying not to buckle beneath the weight of his ever-increasing responsibilities and the unending horrors he faces daily, while also desiring to make a meaningful life for himself, one where he doesn’t have to fight everyday and where he isn’t tormented by the memories of war and all he’s lost. It will be about contrasting the hope that Thor brings to the people of Earth as one of the gods’ greatest champions with the despair and guilt Thor himself grapples with in the face of all he’s experienced, all he’s fighting against, and all he’s done in the name of saving. Essentially, where Immortal Hulk was “powerless against the system”, Immortal Thor will be “heavy is the head that wears the crown”. Something especially potent when one keeps in mind Thor’s roots as a character inspired by Norse religion.

Where Immortal Hulk spent much time driving home what an absolute disaster Bruce’s life has become because of his trauma and powers, dwelling on the wreckage he left behind him, both literally and figuratively, and ended with him having to accept that he can’t go back and undo it, just try his best to move on and that just because his story never ends doesn’t mean he can’t be at least somewhat happy in it, Immortal Thor will ultimately be about emphasizing the great good that Thor has done in the world, while also showing the immense cost to himself or others. The hard choices, the burdens. And it will perhaps ultimately end with Thor being granted some measure of freedom from this role, freedom from the hardship and battlefield.

I don’t know, this is just extrapolating, or perhaps hoping. August can’t come soon enough. This really is the Marvel book I’m most excited for this year and I think it’s going to be exactly what Ewing intends it to be; Thor’s Immortal Hulk.

[artsofmetamoor]

Oh gosh girl what a deep and fascinating analysis of our boy!!!❤️❤️

Caleb is one of those characters who gets overlooked in an already niche fandom yet in my eyes he was always so full of wasted potential! He's perfect as the tragic hero in a dark/high fantasy story! Just his basic backstory from the comics! Created as a mindless slave, yet somehow gaining sentience, escaping to fight for his freedom and his right to simply exist, and ultimately leading a revolution against the very master who made him. The implications of this! His struggles with identity, the pressure of leadership, and the countless challenges he’d face! It's all insanely good material for a proper story!!

And as such we adopted him 😆 to fully develop him from scratch and to try to give him the depth and complex story he deserves! Honestly, at this point, I consider our version of him practically an original character! We made sure to keep him recognizable, but he has also strayed from his canon version in a few of ways. I know some people might wonder why we didn’t just create a totally original concept and story, but 1) this is simply what we love to do, and 2) I’d argue that we’ve already crafted something original by filling in the gaps and connecting the dots with our own ideas! This isn’t meant to diminish the original in any way, it's just our own world inspired by it ❤️

To parallel Caleb and the legendary Diomedes is quite an intriguing thought, but both were indeed forged in the fires of conflict weren't they? And as mentioned above the idea of Caleb as a Whisperer, a creation of Phobos intended to be a soulless servant, opens up so many possibilities to explore themes of identity, free will, and rebellion!

And with this comes the question: What does it mean for a being created for servitude to seek its own path? This becomes Caleb's whole life's search! From a lost child found with no real parents, to a boy raised in war and finally a man plagued with many traumas that eventually finds his healing... As his story progresses I think it's both tragic and touching how he finds meaning for everything that he is!

It's too much fun to incorporate things from the series, like Julian as his adopted father in this version, mixed with our ideas of the life cycle of whisperers!

It was also fun to try diving into Caleb’s strategic mind and you definitively pointed this very well here! The way Julian saw that potential and raised him not just as a son (after so tragically losing his biological one) but as a future leader, adds so much to his character, especially considering the weight of those expectations from such a young age. Even in the original canon Caleb’s ability to unite such diverse groups and cross social and racial boundaries is so powerful, making the rebellion a true movement for all of Metamoor!

It’s undeniably one of the most tragic aspects of Caleb’s story that he never had a proper childhood, forced instead to face the harsh realities of war... And yet it’s so touching to think about how he gets to raise his own son in a time of peace, giving him the happy, carefree childhood he never had! It shows his and other rebels' sacrifices were for the next generation! But regardless him and Diego really were children of war and tragedy indeed, and it shaped them in profound ways... Thank you so much for the wink to the title and my drawing of the lads!! ❤️❤️❤️

I cannot hide how the Tribal Galhots are one of my favorite aspects of out story!!! It's not like I draw them all the time!! 😆 The way Caleb identifies with them and bonds and learns with Dilla in a place that’s meant to become his home is everything! It’s like this turning point that shapes every big decision he makes moving forward!

Dilla leaving, even if just temporarily, is such a heartbreaking twist in the story. It really allows us to explore how Caleb’s well-intentioned choices can sometimes lead him down the wrong path, and how guilt can distort his understanding of his true needs and wants. While the complicated dynamic between Caleb and Cornelia has its own intricate reasons, Caleb’s guilt undeniably plays a significant role in his choice.

Oh gosh there’s no betrayal that could cut deeper for Caleb than Diego’s. Being imprisoned for years by someone he loved and considered family is an incredibly visceral and painful concept. It’s such a raw and challenging theme to dive into right at the beginning of the story we’re crafting! Especially since Diego is a very complicated character himself! All of this leaves lasting marks which hurt deeply even while Caleb heals...

And here’s another hard moment to dive into! 😢 Caleb hitting his absolute lowest, even worse than his imprisonment... His body might be free, but his mind is still haunted by all the horrors and traumas. Dilla’s return and their reconnection mean so much here especially when Caleb feels like the world has just moved on without him!

Aww, I’m so in love with this!! ❤️ And it happened without planning! It’s funny how a lot of stories, even in canon, have Caleb and the ex-rebels ending up in roles like joining the Queen’s army or something similar. While that might work for some, Caleb’s ultimate dream in our story is different: he wants his peace, his family and his home! After years of war and commanding men to battle he just wishes to raise his son, wake up snuggled in his wife's arms with kisses, take care of their beloved home, and to relish the most simple pleasures! And no one would believe that the fearless rebel leader ends up as a happy house husband, but here he is!! 😆❤️ Tho yes another struggle will come with the arrival of Corny and it definitely is not what one might expect!

Oh gosh I really love how this character has turned out and I can't get tired of drawing him among others! That's so true, Caleb’s journey, including his quest for personal growth and his ultimate self-redemption, really points out that that being a hero isn’t just about saving the day. It’s also about seeking help when needed and striving to not only be better, but to inspire others to be better as well. I love how you finished this analyses with this note, Caleb’s story is indeed in many ways a reminder that there’s more than one way to be heroic. He's not perfect, he's quite flawed and thus very human, giving in to feelings of pain, guilt, rage and even giving in to his boldness and arrogance at times, but he doesn't get crushed. Sometimes the hardest achievement is saving yourself while still being there for others.

Really amazing perspective on him girl! this is awesome!!! ❤️✨❤️✨❤️ ✨

An Analysis of a Hero (based on the projects I am working with @artsofmetamoor )

So speaking on Diomedes with several friends so far gave me immense inspiration (which is also why I include the name to the tags). And so, I took the courage of speaking of another technically war-raised child. Caleb. Caleb is one of the deuteragonists to the comic series W.I.T.C.H released in early 2000s and later on property of Disney, and protagonist on the series of the same name that is a Disney property and aired by Jetix in the early 2000s.

W.I.T.C.H is a high fantasy teen story that has the acronym of the 5 protagonists Will, Irma, Taranee, Cornelia and Hay Lin who posess the powers of the 5 elements of nature (Aether, Water, Fire, Earth and Air) respectfully who have as mission to protect a veil that is separating earth from the opressed kingdom/planet of Meridian (also known as Metamoor) while combating the forces of Prince Phobos who snatched the throne from his sister, the rightful heir and rules the kingdom as a tyrant. Caleb, the character in question is the young man who has taken the role of the leader of a rebellion against the prince and who served many years for the best interest of his people.

Born in War

Just like our beloved Diomedes, Caleb seems to have been raised at war. His origins differ depending on media; the TV series has him as the son of the previous Rebel Leader and a witch but the comic origins seem to be much deeper than that. In the comic series Caleb is a Whisperer. A Whisperer is a magical creature in the form of a plant that is supposed to serve the will of the master who created them. Plot twist; his creator is Phobos himself! Caleb was supposed to be a soulless servant who careied the wish of his master. This part was actually used for the story I am working with my friend @artsofmetamoor

Broke the shacles

Caleb, somehow, managed to gain his free will and intelligence. In the comics or rather an extra issue that came later, it is hinted that Caleb gained his final shape immediately. In our story with my friend, he is coming as a child. But even as a child he realizes that the environment he was in was not good for him so he ran away. He was eventually discovered and rescued by his adopted father Julian (his biological father in the cartoon) who takes him in.

A Promising Genius

Caleb was proven highly intelligent from very early age. For example in the TV series we see him coming up with plans in a second even if he is officially 15-16-17 years of age in the series. This is actually the concept we follow in our story. Caleb was taken in by Julian as a baby named after Julian's own son who was violently killed by Phobos's regime (headcanon). From day one he was raised to be his father's son. He was raised to protect himself not only from the regime but also from the terrifying creatures at war. That happened because of his mind showing such potential, finding clever solutions in every corner. Julian knew he would be not only a worthy heir but also surpassing him (which does happen). Caleb brings the rebellion to its full potential, adding more people to the cause, including other races and sub-races of Meridian and the entirety of Metamoor including Raio, a noble-born who was inspired enough to follow him.

Born in the fire of War, Raised to its Art

As mentioned above, from very early on, Caleb was introduced to the art of war and the several ways to survive. That meant that he had very small childhood or very faintly enjoyed. Caleb was taught martial arts, sword and combact tactics ever since he was a kid. He would also use these in everyday life not only to avoid war but also predators in the forests. He and his adopted brother, Diego were basically children of war and tragedy

What is more Julian dissappeared after a dramatic battle and Caleb had to technically take over as the leader of the rebellion to the tender age of 14 years of age. Despite his young age, under the careful guidance of some of the older and more experienced members of the Rebellion, Caleb grew into a marvelous leader making him already known to the surroundings by the age of 15.

Caleb received an aditional training coicidentally while still running for his life, by one of the many different Galhot races that exist in Meridian, called Tribes. A society of enormous warriors and blacksmiths who mostly live by hunting, gathering and exchanging goods with each other or other Meridian cities. He was trained by a woman by the name of Dilla, who later on becomes his partner and bodyguard during the Rebellion.

A difficult and probably ultimately a bad decision

Caleb begins having strange dreams about a young woman that was later to become the Earth Guardian. Perplexed by his emotions as well as his concern about hurting Dilla with them, he breaks up their relationship and Dilla is to return to her village. Caleb ultimately would regret that decision for the rest of his life.

Betrayed and Imprisoned

For those who followed my friend's work, know that Caleb was betrayed and imrisoned by the very brother he would protect with his life at all occasions; Diego. Diego, the Shapeshifter, someone capable of taking someone's form by absorbing their life essence, imprisons him and uses him as a battery to recharge himself thus stealing his life. Caleb suffered an eternity during his captivity with the knife o betrayal cutting the worst

Hitting Rock Bottom

After his release (details to be shown in the upcoming comic) Caleb hits rock bottom, roaming about Meridian not knowing what to do, using booze which hopes it will end his life. Rescued as if by a miracle by Dilla who helps to nurse him back to health.

Desire for a quiet life

Unlike many examplesof heroes @artsofmetamoor and I worked a lot on the ideas behind Caleb's future. However we realized that what Caleb truly would have wanted was to settle and have a quiet life; settle down be peaceful and have a family!

He finds this stability to Dilla with whom he also finally after so long time gets to have a son with called Kai.

However difficulties will rise once more when tragedy brings Cornelia back into his life just with a different context!

What makes Caleb the Hero;

Caleb is deeply flawed character; he makes crucial mistakes on his way to achieving peace and some of them are due to his ignorance while others due to his harsh life. However what makes him the hero is that he tries his best for those he loves; he goes through trials and ordeals and he has to come out of them as strong as possible to protect others and succeed in his mission at war. He also survives these ordeals not because he never bended but because he learns to get back up again even after hitting the worst way possible rock bottom.

In our stories we do aim to give him the same if not more screentime to open his wings as in the series but with the complexity of the origins of his comic counterpart and we hope to inspire other people follow the example of aiming to become better and better, aiming to overcome your difficulties and that it is never too late to do so.

We also kinda wanna inspire people that the "dream big" doesn't need to be some successful career or some sort of a loud bang in your life. Despite the fact that our Caleb in our story receives the same amount of love and recognition by the people he helped and that he is satisfied with that as well up to one point, ultimately Caleb's goal was to be calm and have a good life; his ultimate destination according to his dream is to be a house-husband who wants to live in his village and take care of his son instead of some sort of successful businessman or warrior however we do not aim to say he loses his masculinity either; he is deeply concerned for his family and protects them and provides for them as well in his own way. His motivations are clearly out of love and caring for his family, for which he has worked so much for . Having a family and protecting it is for him one of the most important things.

Caleb is also a person with deep concern for people around him and society he lives into. In one way we aim to show there is more than oe way one can be successful in their lives and that is something that comes out of nowhere sometimes.

Hero of a story is not just the person who saves the day (which is already important enough that's for sure) but someone that can potentially inspire other people do something or be better versions of themselves and that there is more than one way to achieve that. Plus that its okay to ask for help. Sometimes that is the hardest part of all.

Caleb reached for help and saved himself the same as he saved many people before. Saving himself was probably the most difficult and greatest achievement he ever did in my opinion despite his already heroic course in his life.

[meyhew]

so i’ve seen far too many comments since s&b came out that are comparing kaz to the darkling. things like, “how come kaz gets to be a hero loved by everyone who hates the darkling when they’re both morally grey murderers?” and frankly i’m sick of every variation of the sentiment.

even though they never meet in the books and their stories have nothing to do with each other, kaz and darkles are foils of one another. just so what i’m saying doesn’t get misconstrued at any point in this point, a foil is “a character who contrasts with the protagonist, in order to better highlight or differentiate certain qualities of the protagonist.”

what we know about the darkling: he dabbles in merzost and the end result is the fold. centuries pass and he doesn’t figure out a way to get rid of it (because he can’t). alina comes along and instead of actually eliminating the fold like he says he will, darkles exploits alina's powers to push boundaries of the fold and sacrifices thousands of lives in order to expand his own power. he quite literally enslaves her for months and puts her through so much psychological abuse—and that’s excluding the torture and deaths of her loved ones. darkles’ ultimate goal is power power and more power. nothing else. he starts by wanting safety for the grisha but delving deeper and deeper into merzost corrupts him from the inside out. by the time we meet him, grisha safety is no longer his main concern; if it was, he wouldn’t have served genya to the king. individual grisha lives are disposable to him. alina is disposable to him, bar her sun summoning powers.

what we know about kaz: he comes to ketterdam with his brother jordie after the death of his parents and, long story short, jordie dies because some rich merchant (pekka) cons them and they’re too young to see it coming. kaz has to use his brother’s corpse as a raft to survive swimming to shore, lest he die too. this all happens when kaz is nine years old. he then becomes consumed with avenging jordie and destroying pekka brick by brick. everything he does somehow serves the purpose of ruining pekka in the long run—or he tells himself. kaz rietveld becomes kaz brekker. kaz brekker is cold and cunning and ruthless and he’ll do the despicable things no one else will but he still has an undercurrent of humanity, which leads me to my point:

out of the two of them, kaz is the only one who is morally grey. darkles is straight up black. there is no actual moral complexity because he feels no guilt or remorse about any of his actions.

in rule of wolves, beloved alina makes an appearance and says to the darkling, “Tell me you regret some of it. Any of it. It’s not too late for you.” and to that he replies: “I didn’t come here to speak lies. Do you really believe this is the life you were meant for? Powerless and pathetic? Wiping the noses of children who will forget you? Telling them bedtime stories that will never come true?”

now. it’s evident how little he thinks of alina’s choices and how much he doesn’t regret his own. the choices that include: putting a collar on alina, pretending to be mal to get in alina’s bed, blinding his own mother and causing her subsequent death, torturing genya more than once, using zoya, destroying novokribirsk and who knows how many cities with the fold, leaving a demon inside nikolai. the list goes on and on and he feels remorse for none of it. and i'm not going to sit here and tell you that kaz is an ethical person who feels guilty and remorseful about the awful things he does, but kaz has an undercurrent of humanity in him. he’s a man driven by revenge, but at his very core he is still human.

in crooked kingdom inej manages to escape getting her legs smashed by telling van eck that kaz would never take her back that way. she’d be no use to him. and she fully believes that. she doesn’t say it to trick van eck; she very much believes that inej with broken legs would be a waste to kaz brekker and he’d simply get himself a new spider. because that is the reputation he has built for himself.

“He was going to break my legs,” she said, her chin held high, the barest quaver in her voice. “Would you have come for me then, Kaz? When I couldn’t scale a wall or walk a tightrope? When I wasn’t the Wraith anymore?” Dirtyhands would not. The boy who could get them through this, get their money, keep them alive, would do her the courtesy of putting her out of her misery, then cut his losses and move on. “I would come for you,” he said, and when he saw the wary look she shot him, he said it again. “I would come for you. And if I couldn’t walk, I’d crawl to you, and no matter how broken we were, we’d fight our way out together—knives drawn, pistols blazing.”

it’s not an admission of guilt or regret or remorse, i admit, so let’s look at one:

“For the briefest moment, Kaz and Van Eck sized each other up from across the bridge. Kaz couldn’t help but be reminded of when they’d faced each other this way seven days ago. He’d thought too much about that meeting. Late at night, when the day’s work was done, he’d lain awake, taking apart every moment of it. Again and again, Kaz thought of those few crucial seconds when he’d let his attention shift to Inej instead of keeping his eyes on Van Eck. It wasn’t a mistake he could afford to make again. That boy had betrayed his weakness in a single glance, had ceded the war for the sake of a single battle, and put Inej—all of them—in danger. He was a wounded animal who needed to be put down. And Kaz had done it gladly, choked the life from him without pause for regret. The Kaz that remained saw only the job: Free Inej. Make Van Eck pay. The rest was useless noise.”

he kills the part of him that put inej’s life in danger, that compromised all of their safety, and he doesn’t let himself regret that. he does regret having landed himself and others in this predicament. he does regret that inej’s life hangs in the balance because of him. because of his trauma and because of the person he has sort of been forced to become, he might not be able to articulate his guilt and regret and but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t feel those things. those feelings are there because, unlike darkles, kaz hasn’t been corrupted by power. kaz is greedy but not for power over other; he has a one track mind and that’s taking apart pekka’s life brick by brick. kaz is a victim of circumstance; darkles is not. kaz commits violence when he has to; darkles commits violence because, after so long of doing so, he relishes in it. i’d go so far as to say that kaz isn’t even greedy, per se. he wants money, yes, but not for the sake of having money. he wants more and more money because that means less and less money for pekka.

(this is a very good post to read re: kaz’s humanity) 

and i’ve seen the argument from occasional showl only fan that kaz is just like the darkling because he own inej (since he’s “buying” her from tante haleen). kaz pays off her indenture to haleen, he does not buy her. kaz gives her a shot at freedom—something she would not have had without him. he doesn’t make her get the crow club tattoo like everyone else because “he wouldn’t be the one to mark [her] again.” in the books, kaz sells his shares of the crow club to pekka so he can help inej. he then buys a ship for inej so she can hunt slavers. he reunites her with his parents. on the show, he essentially liquidates his assets to get inej out from under haleen’s roof. in the books and on the show, at every turn kaz gives inej a choice whenever he can.

try and line that up with darkles sparkles. he isolates alina into the little palace even if he makes it seem like a splendid place. he cuts off her communication from mal and makes her feel abandoned, giving him an easy opportunity to charm a lost girl. who wouldn’t fall for the sexy powerful man doting on you’ve lost everything else? he never gives her any options regarding what she can do with her powers. he tells her what he has to do. when she doesn’t comply, he forces her to. he puts a collar on her. he brands her as his puppet. he perverts her power with his own. he kills the only parent figure she’s ever had. time and time again, he strips alina of her agency, holds her captive, hurts the people she cares for.

to put it succinctly: darkles is the government and kaz is an anarchist. kaz is a byproduct of people like the darkling. darkles is a ruler. his responsibility is to take care of the grisha under his command. kaz is a 17 yr old kid. he has no such responsibilities. his only commitment is the vow he made to avenge his brother’s death, which happened because of a man like the darkling—hungry for more more more. in six of crows kaz says, “When everyone knows you’re a monster, you needn’t waste time doing every monstrous thing.” and like… that directly juxtaposes the darkling, who does feel compelled to do every horrific thing he can do. kaz is mostly bark with an occasional bite; darkles is a feral dog that needs to be put down. 

without using thousands of words: darkling is an ancient powerful being and kaz is a CHILD. there should be no comparison of their morals and ethics.

[harveywritings92]

Bnha dad scenarios: Child default names and background stories.

[Tw: mentions of abortion.]

Dabi's kid/Ayane Name meaning: Kanji (Aya) meaning "Color" and (Ne) meaning sound.

Don't need to tell you that his little Firefly wasn't exactly planned, in fact he was completely blindsided when he found his FWB (now common law wife) was pregnant, he ran away! but, not from her... He disappeared for a couple days then showed up a while later in disguise duffle-bag in hand telling her to hurry and start packing up whatever she can carry; cuz they were leaving! Dabi and your mom relocated to a very small town in the countryside where the population is very small.

(like you could fit the whole township into a Boeing 737 small, and your nearest neighbor was 15 minutes away....)

From there they opened and run a roadhouse bar/motel. Dabi didn't marry his Fairy just because she was pregnant, he caught the feelings a long time ago and had been planning to runaway with her way before Ayane was even a distant thought, her impending arrival just pushed his plans forward. Ayane looks like her mother but her [y/hc] hair has little red streaks and she has partial heterochromia in her eyes, they look like someone colored them cerulean, but remembered halfway through that they were supposed to be y/ec, she also has Dabi's cocky smirk.

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Katsuki's kid/Haruka name meaning:  Distant blossom: Uses the Kanji "Haru" in the word "Distant"  combined with the kanji "Ka" in "blossom".

 Having kids was very distant thought in the back of Katsuki's mind not that he didn't want any, He just thought he wouldn't have any, so then his wife told him that they were having a baby. he was over the moon, he didn't care if it was boy or girl just so long as they were happy and healthy, however as soon as it was confirmed that the the baby in his wife's belly was a girl.

Katsuki went scorched-earth on any boys that went near his little girl and Haruka has him wrapped around her little finger. She's his spoiled princess. Haruka looks like a carbon copy of her mom, but has her dad's temperament and potty mouth, she has partial heterochromia both eyes they're half red-half [y/ec]. 

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Shigaraki's kid/Kururi name meaning:  Black Emerald: "Ku" from the kanji "Black" and "Ruri" meaning "Emerald". (Ngl she was also named after Kurogiri)

 He was completely blindsided when he found out his queen was having his child, he didn't know what to do with it, he considered having it "taken care of" but his queen threatened to leave him if he ever suggested that again! he was huffy and pouty during the whole pregnancy.  

He was also very protective, usually lingering near by or stalking his wife when she was out and about being careful of in case any heroes or lesser NPCs messed with her, then when the baby was finally born... and he held her for the first time, it was like "Holy crap! I made this...!" and suddenly the world wasn't looking so bleak anymore... and now that his wife is gone (rip) Shigaraki's main focus (as aside villainy) was on his daughter and making the future bright for her.

Kururi though not touch starved she is a bit wary of physical affection, and very socially awkward often preferring to read and or play videogames over socializing with other humans, her only friend seems to be Ayane (their friendship is similar to Orin and April from Parks and rec), They hang out mainly because Shigaraki wanted her have some sense of normality that he was deprived as child. however due to her quirk's nature and the guilt she feels over her mother's death, she has a complex over her hands, she doesn't like it when people try holding them or touching them, often seen wearing gloves or keeping them in her pockets. 

Kururi looks like her mom but has a little mole under her chin and has heterochromia her left eye is red while her right [y/ec] and her [y/hc] hair has a single blueish-white streak in it.

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Hawks-Keigo's kid/ Griffin or Finny: as in Griffin the mythical creature.

Keigo and his late wife chose that name because of their respective quirks, His wife had some feline traits cat eyes, and cat ears, it was kind of joke between their two names [Cheshire cat and a Hawk] then they first met, Keigo wasn't really interested in his wife at first, but that didn't stop her! so Keigo said if she could get Endeavor to laugh he'll take her on a date!

So she goes up to Endeavor and says "What happens when a hawk mates with a cat?..." The current number 1 looked at her bemused. "The English call it a Griffin, but I call it a cawk!" Hawks winced It was soo cringy, obscene and made no sense!... But it worked! Endeavor's lips twitched and he snorted! before breaking out in low chuckles, the rest is history.

Though his avian traits seemed to have overrode his wife's feline traits, I.e. {Finny has little red wings on her head instead of cat ears, and Keigo eye brows, However everything else is from his wife. the reality slip quirk {y/hc} hair and {y/eye} etc.

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Kirishima's kid/Akara: Name meaning "Red Lightning" {Aka} meaning Red and [Ra] from the word Rai meaning lightning.

Eijirou and his wife thought they were having a boy so Akara's name was originally going to be Akahito "the red warrior" so when the baby that came out was obviously a girl, he and his wife panicked and couldn't figure out or agree on a new name, until Mina suggest a holding raffle everyone wrote a name down and put it in a hat. and the first name they pulled will be their daughter's name, they pulled out Denki's choice and settled on it and considering Akara's quirk: Hard-charge. it fits pretty well. 

(She can harden her skin like her dad. however, with every hit she takes, she can absorb kinetic energy from it, the energy turns into electricity which she can use to deliver powerful electric discharge attacks.) 

Her mom is Denki's cousin by the way... Her mom's Quirk is called Static pinch, she can store small amounts of static electricity and release tiny zaps from her thumb index and middle finger, if she gets close enough to an enemy she use the stored energy in her body like a taser via "Vulcan nerve pinch".

  Akara looks like her mother but has her dad's sharp teeth.

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Shoto's kid/Koyuki name meaning "Little snow" kanji [Ko] meaning little and [Yuki] meaning snow.

Much like Katsuki children were a very touchy and distant subject for him, He was was always scared that he'll end up just like his father, he was adamant on having no kids, so when his wife announced that she was pregnant and keeping it, Shoto had a panic attack and ran off  for a couple days, until she calls Dabi who tracked him down and talked some sense into him...

(after punching him in the face for ditching his pregnant wife.) The his older brother pretty much told Shoto he's letting Enji win running off like that, and reminds him that they're both Endeavor's sons, but they are not their father, and will never be their father, they're better than him... and with that Dabi send his younger brother back his worried wife, Shoto apologizes and is working to prove he's not like his father. 

He keeps his daughter away from her grandfather who keeps badgering Shoto for another grandchild as he doesn't see Koyuki's quirk (Frost-breath) taking her anywhere in the future, Shoto has more or less politely told his father to go and pound sand.... as it was very difficult for Shoto's wife to conceive children and her pregnancy and birth was very stressful and traumatic for them, Koyuki was born prematurely and his wife had to stay in the hospital with a severe case of the flu.

Koyuki like  Shoto has bi-color hair on the left it's red and on the right it's [y/hc] she has her mom [y/ec] eyes she’s very happy and but timid child and often seen clinging to one of her parent's legs when stranger approaches, though she get's a bit more confident with time.

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Izuku's kid/ Hinamori Name meaning: "sunshine forest" combines the kanji [Hina] for sunshine and the kanji [Mori] for Forest.

Not a surprise when he the number 1 hero's wife started showing a baby-bump a year and a half after their wedding, however what came as a surprise was how protective Izuku became when Reporters and his more eccentric fans didn't know how to keep their boundaries, they would not stop staring at his wife's boobs and trying to touch her belly, Izuku would block their view or slap their hands away and repeat. "Your not my mother or her (Relative.) Don't touch my wife..." he'd discharge his quirk a bit showing that he wasn't kidding around... 

The attention seem to blow over once Hinamori was born mainly due to Izuku buying a house in a gated community so the press couldn't get in so easily and bother the new family, Hinamori looks like her mom but she her y/hc hair is wild like Izuku's and she has his freckles, she likes reading and is often found in Izuku's study reading his old hero observation books. and has actually been working on some of her own, as Izuku has found her little dinosaur notebook with observations on Haruka, Koyuki and Akara. 

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Denki's kid: Raika name meaning: Lightning flower uses the kanji [Rai] for lightning and the kanji [Ka] from flower. 

Raika wasn't exactly planned... See Denki and his little lady were on vacation see? there was this music festival in Niagara-falls, and well...He and his wife had few too many and well details are bit blurred, but... Raika may or may not have been conceived in a handicap stall, but if she ever were to ask everyone's been told to say it was after Denki recued his wife from a villain holding her hostage and Raika was the end result of his reward, luckily she doesn't seem really interested in knowing her parents sexual history.

So there's a good chance shell never know! Raika has her dad's quirk, her hair is y/hc with a yellow/black lighting bolt streaked into it and her y/ec eyes flash yellow when using her quirk. 

[yandere-mha]

Character Guide/analysis

So no one asked for this and I know I have a lot of much better prompts to get to that have been requested by you guys (sowwy <3) but I just wanted to establish a guide for what I personally think each yandere on my fave list’s most distinctive traits about their characterization that you’d have to deal with should you have the misfortune honor of earning their fixated obsession. This is mostly just a reference for both myself and you guys if you want something specific to be mentioned in a scenario/HC post. I may add or redact things from this list from time to time.

TW: ABUSE KIDNAPPING, SELF HARM MENTION, SUICIDE THREAT MENTION.

READ AT YOUR OWN DISCRETION.

Dabi: paranoid jealousy caused by insecurity, unstable mood/neurotic, lack of identity, made uncomfortable by self accountability, selfishness/everything is about him, loneliness, superiority complex, lack of trust/defensiveness, self destructive and suicidal tendencies, tendency to switch between patronizing and seeing you as the perfect being/black and white views, pride for his ambitions/emphasis on the importance of having a purpose, his hypocrisy/tendency to call you criticisms that are true about himself, his shifting between being extremely non-verbal/to-the-point and going on psychotic tangents, his tendency to both be very plan-oriented and act without thinking, his need for your full attention, disregard for your personal possessions, lack of social tact/will say or do one thing and mean another, emphasis on revenge/doesn’t easily forgive, lacks social and emotional intelligence, easily annoyed, optimism about the future/naturally hopeful disposition, and touch starved.

Hawks: paranoid protectiveness/hero complex, loneliness, twisted priorities, self sacrificing (martyr complex), lack of a sense of identity, cold demeaner/emotional exhaustion, extreme alertness and anxiety, prone to rushed movement, a need to feel safe and calmed, tendency to stare, an underlying wish to be more like you, a desire to make you feel comfortable, tendency to take on responsibility for difficult tasks, fear of himself, fear of being like his father, tendency to stalk, anxiety looks like anger, and low self esteem.

Shigaraki: emphasis on loyalty/trust issues, low self esteem, shame in voicing his feelings, emphasis on revenge/doesn’t easily forgive, need to feel babied/mom issues, touch starved, need to feel in control, a need to feel understood/listened to, a need for the ability to relate to you, nervous ticks, the change of your relationship with time/his progressing maturity, a need to root for the underdog, a need for emotional support and community, craving and fear of emotional connection, a fear of showing weakness, protective.

Tamaki: social anxiety/timidness, self sacrificing caused by low self esteem, tendency for suicidal threats and self harm, tendency to worship/see you as the perfect being, refusal to touch you, tendency to monologue about how much he loves you/how terrible he is, extreme guilt, sensitive/easily trigged neurosis, his tendency to grab objects and damage them by clutching it too hard, his tendency to stare/barley restrained desire to touch you, fear of rejection/being judged, protective from other people and himself, sees himself as the ultimate sinner (Eve who eats the apple), easily emotionally manipulated, tendency to cry, likes people who are opposite of himself.

Twice: Touch starved, desperate need for community/emotional connection, an emphasis on looks (not vain but fixated on your physical traits), wants to feel loved and cared for, thinks you can do no wrong, easily trusting/manipulated, wears his heart on his sleeve, sensitive/easily heart broken, tendency to cry, self sacrificing, protective (not jealous), more lenient, highly emotional, friendly and loyal, highly devoted yet dependent, dependent on people’s view of him/values your opinion over his own, sees you as his reason for living, lack of a sense of personal identity/individuality.

Fatgum: Emphasis on conventional family and parenthood, sees himself as the perfect husband/father, odd relationship with gender roles, highly delusional, doesn’t want to be seen or made feel like a bad person, emphasis on food/emotionally bonds with food and the act of cooking, doesn’t like change, highly protective, wants to see you act happy and admire him, doesn’t take guilt or reality checks well, smothering affection, lack of accountability, forgets his own strength/hurts you accidently, uses passive threats and intimidating body language, thinks of himself a lenient but is controlling, demands your time and attention, lack of self awareness.

Stain: Tendency for worship, very controlling/thinks he knows what’s best for you, protective, impatient when you whine, feels underlying guilt, not cuddly but doesn’t respect your boundaries, very non-verbal, only speaks out of utter importance, adoring of heroics yet despises hero society, thinks of himself as a selfless martyr, is actually very self centered, his opinion is the only right opinion, intolerant of most people, has a black and white view, highly strategic and plan-oriented, independent, tendency to patronize while also having an unrealistically high opinion of you, very high standards, untrusting of others and yourself, tendency to use his quirk on you, paranoid of betrayal, tendency to stalk.

Aizawa: Hides shyness by intimidation, very protective, very stern with rules, tendency to test your loyalty, untrusting, emphasis on fatherhood, mostly non-verbal affection, emotionally exhausted/socially anxious, craves emotional and social comfort/fears rejection and being judged, has a staring problem but doesn’t like when you stare, respects your physical boundaries/won’t force affection, tendency to stalk, doesn’t like to be smothered, will leave anonymous gifts, made anxious by affection yet craves it, anxiety looks like anger.

Overhaul: unaware of his self hatred, hypocrisy/tendency to call you criticisms that are true about himself, perfectionism/germaphobia, views you as an object, cold and uncaring, highly critical, strategic/plan oriented, doesn’t like surprises, god complex, self-centered, power-hungry and controlling, fear of looking weak, highly manipulative, violent but doesn’t get sadistic unless you betray him, total disregard for your feelings and physical comfort, loves you but isn’t in love with you, sees you as a valuable object to preserve, emphasis on manners/respect from you, patronizing, doesn’t like others complaining.

Miruko: sadistic, emotional, lack of self restraint/acts without thinking, prone to sentimentality, highly competitive/superiority complex, not prone to anger, doesn’t take many things seriously, needs constant stimulation/easily bored, high libido, easy going, fear of showing weakness, prone to bragging/talking herself up, prone to rebellious behavior, lacks emotional intelligence, likes to be challenged, very talkative, will talk over you/not listen to what you have to say, has a short attention span.

Geten: violent temper/easily angered, fear of abandonment, fear of showing weakness to others, fear of betrayal, easily embarrassed, plan-oriented/doesn’t like surprises, highly devoted, unfriendly, mostly non-verbal affection, trusting of only you, earnest, lacks a sense of humor, sensitive/easily insulted, touch starved, tendency to use quirk in extreme anger, highly emotional, irrational only in anger, prone to tears of anger.

[stagandsteer]

Complete transcript of the Wonderland interview, by Catherine Santino, below the cut :)

In 1993, the year in which Freeform’s new thriller series Cruel Summer opens, actor Froy Gutierrez was yet to be born. Chat rooms and beepers, just two of the symbols of 90’s culture featured in the show, were absent in Gutierrez's own childhood. Instead, the 22 year old grew up among the endless, glowing feeds of social media — and the inevitable pressures that they create.

“There’s a kind of self-awareness that comes from growing up with the internet, which everyone in our cast did,” Gutierrez, who stars in the upcoming series, tells me over Zoom — his boyish charm tangible across the screen. “We’re all technically Gen Z or like, older Gen Z. And so you have to unburden yourself from curating a persona online.”

Due to the dizzying evolution of technology in the past two decades, Gutierrez and I had drastically different experiences with the internet growing up — even though he’s only seven years my junior. I fondly remember a time without the prevalence of social media, while Gutierrez was born into an era where internet presence was not only common, but expected.

Like most of Gutierrez’s peers, the actor was active on social media from a young age, but his presence has quietened over the years — even with 1.7 million instagram followers. “If there’s a general consensus on the internet of a certain readership or viewership, you know about it, because people tweet about it directly to you,'' he says. “There’s a kind of lumping in of the character you’re playing with who you are, that people do. I don’t know if it’s intentional. It’s probably just a human thing, but that happens. And it can be hard not to internalize what you read about yourself, you know? Words have power.”

In 2017, Gutierrez appeared on supernatural MTV drama Teen Wolf, a show with a massive internet fandom. Suddenly, fan theories and commentaries about his character, Nolan Holloway, came in droves, something that the young actor wasn’t necessarily prepared for. “I was still a teenager,” he says. “Around that time, you're an adult, but you’re still figuring things out. So I learned where to set my boundaries because I didn’t know where they were beforehand.”

When Cruel Summer came around, Gutierrez assumed he would be portraying the “desirable young male” he was used to auditioning for. “The first time I read the character, it definitely felt like an archetype. When I auditioned for it, I walked in and was very much myself, and Michelle Purple and Jessica Biel responded very well to it.” However, after he got the role and production ramped up, he was pleasantly surprised. “It didn’t really hit me that they were wanting to take him in such a unique direction until I showed up for wardrobe one day to do my first fitting for the pilot,” Gutierrez recalls. “I looked at the mood board for Jamie and it was like, young Heath Ledger, Keanu Reeves and Kurt Cobain. And I was like ‘Oh shit, I need to step my game up,’” he laughs. “I couldn’t get by doing the same thing that I’ve always done when it comes to characters like that.”

Cruel Summer takes place over the course of three years — ‘93, ‘94, and ‘95 — showing splices of each year in every episode. Produced by Jessica Biel, Tia Napolitano, and Michelle Purple, it centres around the kidnapping of a teenage girl and the fallout of the crime in her community in Skylin, Texas. Gutierrez plays Jamie Henson, the boyfriend of the missing girl, Kate. In her absence, a quiet nerd named Jeanette suddenly rises the social ranks and assumes Kate’s place — including dating Jamie. When Kate returns, Jeanette is suspected to be involved in her disappearance, throwing Jamie into some seriously challenging circumstances. His character could easily be a one-dimensional archetype — and truthfully, I expected him to be — but Cruel Summer took the opportunity to explore toxic masculinity and its widespread impact.

We see Jamie caught in the middle of conflict, unsure how to respond to a traumatic event that certainly no teenager expects to be faced with. He’s not a hero, but he’s not a villain either. It’s unclear whether we’re supposed to root for Jamie or not, which makes him that much more interesting to watch. “He talks a lot about his desire to protect the people around him, regardless of whether or not they asked him to protect them,” Gutierrez says of his character. “He kind of superimposes his own idea of what the people around him need. In order to maintain the peace of the people around him, he kind of robs the people around him of their agency. It’s just a really fascinating character to play in that way.”

Gutierrez has also been able to explore the ethics of true crime in a time when the genre is exploding in popularity. Though Cruel Summer is fictional, it questions the effect that public opinion can have on criminal cases — and perhaps more importantly — the well-being of the people involved. “When it comes to the investigation of a crime, you have to weigh the good it can bring into the world versus the bad it can bring. Or making one person seem suspect, or airing the dirty laundry of a private citizen for the viewership of loads of people.”

Despite his eloquent reflections on Jamie throughout our conversation, it’s clear that Gutierrez doesn’t take himself too seriously. He speaks into the camera like we’re old friends on FaceTime, and when my dog unexpectedly jumps into my frame, he gushes excitedly and asks what her name is. He’s able to laugh at himself one minute and share poignant truths the next. It’s refreshing, much like Cruel Summer.

Another likely contributor to the show’s authenticity? The fact that the cast was kept in the dark when it came to overarching plot points. Instead of knowing the show’s trajectory ahead of time, the actors would receive scripts for the next episode while they were filming — and they were subject to change. “We didn’t know where it was going,” Gutierrez says. “And we were told, “‘This might happen here, or this might happen there.’ And it would shift around.”

Without foresight into their character’s arc, the actors have no choice but to focus only on where they were in that moment — a difficult task when a single episode spans three very different years. Gutierrez faced an even greater challenge, as, unlike the two female leads, his character didn’t undergo any drastic physical transformations over the three years.

“I didn’t really compartmentalise the character,” he explains. “I kind of thought of the different years as different phases in my own life. The first year, ‘93, was a complete absence of any regret. You’re still very young, I was just thinking of like, a complete golden retriever,” he laughs. “A 16-year old boy who just wants the best and isn’t aware. ‘94 is me right before I made the decision to go to therapy, where I was making all these bad decisions and I didn’t know why. And then ‘95 was a whole desire to wrestle with those things and really look at yourself in the mirror and take accountability.”

Gutierrez didn’t only infuse personal experience into his behind-the-scenes work — some aspects made it onto the screen. The actor, whose father is Mexican, grew up spending time between Mexico and Texas and is a native Spanish speaker. Because Cruel Summer is set in Texas, Gutierrez suggested creating a similar background for Jamie.

“I was talking with Tia Napolitano, the show-runner, and I was like, ‘Hey, you know what would be really cool? What if the character is half-Mexican, too?’” Gutierrez says. “And she's like, ‘Oh, yeah, let’s write it in the script.’ And I got to write a couple lines in Spanish, which is really cool. [Jamie] could have been this mould of a cool, likeable jock. And then he ended up being this very nuanced human being, which is awesome.”

Though he is learning to appreciate all parts of his heritage, Gutierrez hasn’t always embraced his identity. “I remember feeling like I might have been not American enough for America, and not Mexican enough for Mexico,” he says. “And I remember having a bit of time in which I had an accent in both languages. Even my name — in Mexico I always went by ‘Froylan’, which is my full name. And then in the U.S., I went by Froy, because I thought it would be easier for other people to say.”

He continues: “I identify as Latino, but I”m also very wary of auditioning for Latino roles because I’m aware I don’t look like a typical Latino person. I don’t want to be someone that you can just sub in for that role, when I’m really white and blonde. And so whenever I do get a role like this, one where he’s not written to be any particular direction and we’re able to collaborate, I’m able to inject some of myself in there. So it’s been really cool to embrace all sides of my history.”

But of course, as is true for Gutierrez, Jamie’s cultural background is only a small part of who he is. Cruel Summer is committed to portraying him as a nuanced character that breaks the moulds of masculinity while tackling complex inner conflict. “Living in his shoes and walking in them, a big question that came up for me was, ‘What is the difference between guilt and shame? [Jamie]’s coping mechanism was terrible and unhealthy, and caused more pain for the people around him. But at the same time, the shame that he internalized made it worse for him. One thing I really learned, is that shame is about yourself and beating yourself up. And guilt is about taking accountability and apologising, moving forward without expecting the relationship to come back. It's just about trying to heal what happened and then moving on, on the terms that the other person sets. It’s not about you, and I think that’s what the character learns throughout the show.”

[trulyhumblenarcissist]

About bnha 303... Such a mess?

This chapter of mha feels so... WEIRD. I don't really know how to explain it, but the whole atmosphere is somehow off-putting.

First of all, I don't like the premise of these "top 3 heroes" teaming up to fight Touya. I do get the point of gathering every last bit of manpower they have to make a move against the league (not that they can do anything more than regroup and collect themselves right now), but on a narrative standpoint I can only see a missed opportunity. I'd have much more appreciated for Hawks to take his own path in chasing after Dabi, because these two characters are foils and their development is a game of mirroring. If from now on Hawks works alongside the Todorokis, I fear his personal confrontation with Dabi might get lost, meddled with all the family affairs that have to be dealt with. We got Touya, the son and brother, who definitely needs to be faced by his own relatives, and we got Dabi, the villain product of a messed up childhood, who has way too much in common with Hawks, another neglected kid who's also a "hero" standing on the other side. Both parts of Touya's self, his past and his present, have different characteristics and can be reconciled with different approaches, by different people. Or at least this is how I see it.

I guess in this chapter Hawks is the main "wrong" element to me. He just doesn't seem right. He looks almost unbothered, uninterested. As if everything happened didn't really get to him. Yes, he does think about his parents and he shows some kind of emotion, mainly guilt, which is not to be really expected from him since they f*ed him up real bad and they deserved to be pushed away, however he's comparing himself with Shoto... He sees Shoto as someone "cooler than him" because the boy tries really hard to acknowledge his past and he's dealing with it head-on. While I can appreciate Hawks having a little bit of self loathing (very much needed at this point) I think his guilt is definitely misplaced. He clearly still sees himself as above everyone else, especially Dabi. Why isn't he comparing himself with Touya? Why isn't he empathizing with Touya, who's arguably way more similar to him than Shoto? I don't know why Horikoshi's framing things like this to be honest. Hawks needs to understand he's not always in the right just because he's a hero. Why doesn't he show a bit more disappointment towards Enji? Apparently he is even preparing Endeavor's public speech in order to soothe people's complaints! He's acting like he doesn't really care about anything he has come to discover and his behavior, all touchy and space invading, shows a completely lack of boundaries (much like his tongue, sharper than ever). The guy literally asks if Endeavor burned Shoto like it is some kind of very light and trivial inquiry... What if Shoto said yes? Would have even mattered to Hawks at this point? He is acting just like an agent of power doing damage control to keep the status quo. And yes, I know he has been raised to be exactly that, but what about his experiences with the league, with Twice? What about Dabi's horrible past? This things really didn't make him rethink even once about his moral compass?

I don't know what I'm even saying at this point. Maybe I completely misunderstood Horikoshi's plans for this character.

Considering the other elements of the chapter, I feel very uneasy about all the attention around One For All too. I don't know if having all these supposed heroes know about such a powerful weapon is something desirable, especially for Deku. He's already been devoided of agency by inserting the element of the vestiges inside himself. He risks to end up like a tool for the strongest pursuer and nothing more...

The only sweet element of this confusing set-up is Bakugou actually showing in front of everyone his concern for Deku, to the point his friends need to restrain him. He definitely grew up a lot... And I really appreciate the type of person he's becoming, especially since it wasn't easy for him to come to terms with his complexes (and he still has work to do obviously)

So well, that's all. Maybe after the official release I'll say something more if I the translation provides other nuances. I'd really like to know what other people think about this... So feel free to comment and reach out if you want!

[johannas-motivational-insults]

Demons Plot Synopsis: Arc 4

Some chapters are more plot heavy and/or emotionally intricate than others and have much longer summaries, as I’ve tried to include the most relevant information to follow the plot and character/relationship growth.

Notable flashbacks are summarized in italics after the main chapter plot, including the character’s approximate age at the time. (The Horde doesn’t do birthdays, so they all change “age” at the same time regardless of actual birth date, but it’s not like Adora or Catra know their real birth dates anyway.)

Spoilers for Demons ahead!

Arc 4: chapters 21-26 (Catradora U-Haul, break up, and go back to being best friends in the span of 2 days like any good lesbian couple)

Chapter 21: Amends (a.k.a. The hurt/comfort smorgasbord)

Now eight days post-jail break, Adora is certain Catra is not coming back and believes she deserves it for abandoning Catra so many times before. But Catra shows up, explains she was injured and unable to come sooner. Adora badgers Catra into admitting that Hordak assaulted and demoted her and gave her an ultimatum to kill Adora. Adora can’t help fearing Catra has come to do just that, so Catra calms her with a kiss and tells her she left the Horde.

Catra apologizes for making Adora worry and Adora cracks a joke, asking her to repeat the rare apology. This triggers a flashback for Catra, who tries not to flip out but does anyway when Adora persists. Adora says it’s not fair that Catra can tease her but she can’t tease back, and Catra argues that what’s fair isn’t the same for everyone because of their different experiences. She goes on to mock Adora’s poor social awareness, which Adora says isn’t funny either. They deescalate with unspoken apologies.

Adora inquires about Catra’s plans post-Horde and Catra invites her to go with her to Dryl. Adora surprises Catra by agreeing enthusiastically, then invites her to follow her into the Castle while she packs her things. Catra’s wary of the place but she’s a sucker for Adora and easily convinced. Once inside, Adora asks if she’d like to stay for a bit and take a nap together. Catra understands that Adora has been touch starved since leaving Bright Moon to save her, so she gladly gives her the cuddles she needs. Adora feels hopeful that she can continue to make up for past mistakes.

[4 y/o] Catra shows off to Adora by climbing a high pipe but gets stuck, causing them both to panic. Adora insists they need Shadow Weaver’s help and runs to get her, despite Catra’s fearful protests. Shadow Weaver says she knew this was bound to happen and tells Catra she can find her own way down, threatening to punish them if they get help from anyone else. Adora can’t handle her guilt over leaving Catra there, so she sneaks back in the night and coaxes Catra down. Catra breaks down in tears when they return to the barracks, and Adora consoles her with cuddles and pets.

[9 y/o] Post-punishment, Shadow Weaver tells Catra to repeat an apology louder. Catra obeys but with obvious anger, and Shadow Weaver decides she needs to make her more sorry.

Chapter 22: Violations (a.k.a. The PSA on trauma and touch aversion)

Catra wakes from a nightmare paralyzed and with Adora’s hands all over her, attempting to provide comfort. Her skin is crawling and she tells Adora to stop but Adora insists on cuddling her. Catra pushes Adora away and yells at her, roasting her hero complex and need to feel useful, and says if Adora really wanted to make her feel better she wouldn’t have left. Adora snaps right back that Catra can’t say she doesn’t care about her after the jail break, but Catra chalks this up to the heroism and says Adora can’t fix everything by smothering her and needs to ask before touching her like that.

Adora is confused based on their earlier intimacy and Catra admits she gets touch-averse sometimes when she’s upset. Catra drives the point home too harshly, triggering a meltdown for Adora, and she quickly regrets her approach. Catra attempts to comfort Adora but continues to show resentment and Adora says maybe Catra should just go on to Dryl without her if she’s such a bad friend.

Adora accidentally summons Light Hope, who berates her for allowing an enemy in the Castle and threatens to sic the spiders on Catra. Catra jumps to Adora’s defense and says she’s not an enemy anymore, and Light Hope demands to scan her brain again to be sure. Catra initially refuses, but when Light Hope continues to lecture Adora for poor judgment she allows it just to prove her wrong. Light Hope is unimpressed to find out all that Adora’s been hiding from her but says Catra can leave without a fight.

Catra urges Adora to come with her despite their fight but Light Hope insists she stay and continue to focus on training. Adora implores that she’s not a machine and she’s miserable there by herself, and promises to return and train with Light Hope each week after the Alliance meeting. Catra is disturbed by the implications of Adora’s poor mental health and how unaware of it she seems.

[9 y/o, cont. from ch. 21] Catra begs for mercy and apologizes repeatedly, but Shadow Weaver says she had her chance to apologize and continues to torture her with magic. Eventually Shadow Weaver stops and demands the apology again, and Catra has no fight left to respond with attitude. Shadow Weaver rubs in her authority with unwanted touch, humiliating Catra further by petting her and calling her a good kitty.

Chapter 23: Rubble (a.k.a. Is it a break up if you’re not officially together?)

After her resentful and cruel outbursts in the Castle, Catra feels she needs to take a step back from Adora until she’s in a better headspace, but is nervous to tell Adora and hurt her feelings. Swift Wind flies them to Dryl and takes a moment to threaten Catra not to hurt Adora again before he leaves. Entrapta greets them and accidentally reveals that Catra told her and Scorpia and Hordak about Adora’s betrayal of Bright Moon, which irritates Adora. Entrapta directs them to their new quarters, two adjacent rooms of which they can use one or both.

Catra says she wants her own room, surprising Adora and prompting some accidental confessions of affection and desire that leave them both blushing. Catra explains that despite those feelings, she doesn’t feel ready to go back to how things were or take things further because she still resents Adora and doesn’t want to take things out on her. Adora can’t help interpreting this as a punishment and Catra assures her it’s not, and that her resentment of Adora is Shadow Weaver’s fault, not Adora’s.

Catra explains she’s afraid of messing things up by moving too fast and that being in a physical relationship will mask their issues and leave them unresolved. Adora asks if that’s why Catra stopped their almost first time in Bright Moon, and Catra admits it’s because she felt vulnerable and like she was losing control of the situation. Adora asks if Catra thinks she’ll ever get over being mad at her, and Catra assures her with a chaste kiss, saying she doubts it will be their last.

Chapter 24: Socialization (a.k.a. Autistic solidarity)

The next day, Entrapta and Adora take the skiff to Bright Moon for the weekly Alliance meeting. Adora is dejected and feeling like a fourth wheel after Catra left her alone the previous evening to hang out with her friends and didn’t invite her. Entrapta remarks that Adora seems upset, based on what she’s observed regarding her body language. Adora is creeped out that Entrapta analyzes her behavior, but Entrapta points out that everyone does it, she just has to put more conscious effort into it. Adora admits that she can relate, prompting Entrapta to remark that she’s noticed Adora has similar difficulties as her.

Adora asks if Entrapta has any notes on Catra, and Entrapta produces a list of feline body language and delivers a scathing psychological report about Catra’s insecurities. They commiserate about how most people never say what they actually mean. Adora expresses frustration over Catra holding her at a distance and having no way to fix the problem, but Entrapta points out that learning to understand Catra and respect her boundaries is still helping the situation.

The Alliance is thrilled to see Entrapta alive but disappointed to learn she was indeed working willingly for the Horde. Entrapta explains that she stayed because the Horde had superior technology to work with and because she thought the princesses had abandoned her. When Glimmer blames Catra for the misunderstanding, Entrapta points out that it was a reasonable assumption for Catra to make given her and Scorpia’s gripes with the princesses, and reveals they all left the Horde together. The Alliance is not pleased to hear Entrapta is aligned with two of their greatest adversaries, throwing her shade about how she nearly caused Bright Moon’s destruction. Adora jumps to her defense and says Entrapta is here to make it right and they should lay off her.

Entrapta clarifies that she’s there to rejoin the Alliance, offering Horde intelligence in exchange for their protection. Adora reveals she’s staying in Dryl too in hopes that will sweeten the pot, but it only sows more discord. Perfuma questions how Entrapta can be sure Catra and Scorpia aren’t secretly still working for the Horde, and Entrapta points out they have done more to earn her trust than the Alliance. That silences all objections, and Entrapta is brought back into the fold.

[16 y/o] Shadow Weaver lectures Adora for her tardiness and skewed priorities after she loses track of time playing games with the other cadets. Adora was grateful to feel included for once but Shadow Weaver asserts that socialization is a waste of Adora’s time and the other cadets are beneath her, that she needs to focus on becoming a Force Captain.

Chapter 25: Almost Maybe Possibly (a.k.a Adora hits peak awkward)

After an exhausting meeting, Adora and Entrapta return to Dryl. Entrapta reports her success rejoining the Alliance and shares the highlights of the Horde intelligence with the others, including how Hordak is a clone and he found a baby near a spontaneous portal almost twenty years ago. She also confirms the Alliance has promised to protect them from attacks and says she’s building an early warning system for Horde attacks. Scorpia calls Catra ‘Wildcat’ in a playful moment, shocking Adora as Catra usually responds to such remarks with hostility.

Leaving Scorptrapta to their PDA, Catra asks Adora to play a game with her and Adora snarks if that’s because her friends are busy. Catra recognizes Adora is bitter about something and asks her to explain, not wanting to add to their pile of baggage. Adora admits she feels left out and insecure about Scorpia’s closeness with Catra, and also feels awkward around Catra because of the uncertain nature of their relationship. Catra says she wouldn’t have invited Adora if she didn’t want her around and that she’s overreacting, but eventually admits she needed space from Adora because she felt bad for hurting her feelings.

Adora tells Catra that being left alone after that tough conversation made her anxiety over it way worse, and Catra admits she didn’t think of that. She suggests Adora try to bond with the others, and when Adora points out she can’t confide too deeply in either of them Catra suggests she spend time with her Bright Moon friends. This surprises Adora but Catra says she hates seeing her feel so alone and doesn’t want her life to be miserable. Adora assures Catra that she’s not miserable, that she’s happy they’re on decent terms and get to see each other every day.

Chapter 26: Protection (a.k.a Who died and left you in charge?)

Adora remembers late that night that she was supposed to train with Light Hope after the meeting. She freaks out and devolves into a panic spiral, dead set on finding a way to get to the Crystal Castle in the dark, and Catra orders Entrapta not to help her do so. Adora is offended that Catra thinks she’s in charge of her, and Catra asserts that someone has to look out for Adora because she doesn’t take care of herself. Catra crafts a convincing lie for Adora to tell Light Hope and offers to sleep in her room to help calm her down.

Catra curls up at Adora’s feet but Adora’s distress quickly triggers her protective instincts and she moves up to cuddle with Adora. She tells Adora she wasn’t trying to boss her around, just protect her. Adora says that’s not her job and Catra snaps, laying out all the little ways she has always protected Adora. She needles Adora’s ego and hero complex and Adora protests that she doesn’t like the responsibility of being She-Ra, but Catra doesn’t believe her. Adora is upset by this and admits she fears losing Catra, but Catra says she just wants Adora to acknowledge that she’s not a weakling.

Adora is surprised by this and Catra explains that Adora’s overprotectiveness made her feel powerless and worthless. Adora assures Catra that she’s not worthless and that she makes her feel safer, and Catra breaks down in tears. Adora admits she acted the way she did because she didn’t want to feel weak either and Shadow Weaver drilled into her head that she couldn’t need anyone else. She admits she liked feeling stronger than Catra because it made her feel needed, but Catra says that whether she needed her or not she wanted her. Adora says she wanted her too.

[lyssismagical]

Hurt/comfort prompt! Harley and Peter get in an argument after Peter comes home late. Harley is so stressed and worried that he doesn't notice Peter is injured until Peter collapses. 💖💖 No pressure to complete though.

As fiancés, compromises were important to keeping them from fighting.

They’d had a few rough patches since changing from boyfriends to fiancés, changing from living separately to cohabitating. It was hard balancing everything and still putting time into their relationship.

The biggest compromise they had to make was because of Spider-Man. The superhero took up the majority of Peter’s free time. Whenever he could, he’d be out swinging through the streets, stopping crime, and looking out for the little guy. And Harley was proud of him, of course he was. His fiancé was out there saving people, being a hero, how could he not be proud?

But when he’s left alone at restaurants when Peter races off to save somebody, when he’s left to an empty apartment most nights, when he’s alone more often than not, it hurts.

Being fiancés meant they were supposed to spend time together. They were supposed to be so wholly in love with each other that they couldn’t do anything but spend every moment attached at the hip.

Harley understands boundaries. He knows that Spider-Man is Peter’s escape from the real world, from the stresses of being Peter Parker, to give himself some time to think, Harley gets it. He does. He prides himself on not being jealous or angry or desperate.

But there’s a breaking point.

“I’m sorry, Harley. I’m so sorry, I just- There was this girl who lost her parents and she needed someone to get her home, and on my way back, I got caught up in a bank robbery and then there was this-”

“I’m done,” Harley says, voice flat and refusing to meet Peter’s eye. “I can’t do this anymore. It was one thing when you missed dates or movie nights or outings or even holidays. I could do it. I understand. But this?”

Peter’s face falls and he reaches out like he wants to comfort his fiancé, but he hesitates, hands hovering between them where Harley’s slumped on the edge of their bed, head in his hands.

Harley runs his hands through his hair again, further messing up his once perfectly styled curls. “I’m done, Peter.”

“I’m sorry, honey, I’m so sorry, really. I thought it would only take a second and then I got caught up and-”

“Our wedding!” Harley says, voice rising before he can stop it. He stands from the bed, arms lifting and shaking, before he lets them fall, defeated. “You missed our wedding.”

“Practice wedding,” the superhero corrects but his eyes are wet and his voice is tremblingly soft.

Harley rolls his eyes and pulls off his engagement ring, tossing it carelessly at Peter’s chest. It bounces off harmlessly and hits the ground. “I can’t do this anymore. You obviously care more about Spider-Man than you do me. I’ve put up with so much bullshit when it comes to this, but I never thought you’d miss something like this. How am I supposed to trust that you’d show up tomorrow? That you’d show up to our anniversaries? That you’d be there for me? I don’t want to spend the rest of my life waiting for you.”

“I’m sorry. I don’t know what you want me to say.”

“Nothing. I don’t want your excuses or your- your apologies. I’m done. I can’t do this anymore.”

Peter’s crying, arms wrapped around his stomach, eyes wide and glassy. “Harley-”

But Harley doesn’t have anything left to give. He loves Peter, more than he’s ever loved anyone, more than he thought possible, but he’s spent the past six years doing everything in his power to hold their relationship together when it feels like Peter’s hardly trying, like Peter just assumes Harley will work it out without his help.

He can’t do it anymore. He can’t spend every night wondering if Peter will come home to him, he can’t spend every waking moment wondering when the next time he’ll get a chance to see his fiancé will be, he can’t spend forever feeling like he’s at the bottom of Peter’s priorities. He’s sick of it.

“I can’t do this anymore,” he repeats. He hates that this is where it ends, that the end comes the day before their wedding. He hates that he’s hurting so badly, that he’s hurting Peter, that despite everything, the only person he wants to turn to is Peter.

Peter opens his mouth, probably to argue, to beg, to ask for another chance, at least an opportunity to explain himself or find a solution, but instead, all that comes out is a choked cough and then his knees are buckling.

Diving forward, Harley barely manages to catch him, body limp in his grip, and lowers them to the floor, cradling Peter close to his chest.

“Fuck, you had to be hiding an injury, didn’t you?” he says, hands fluttering nervously over his body, needing to find the source of the injury. “Now I’m the bad guy, huh?”

He finds the wound, a deep cut in his side, blood soaking through his suit and sweater, and it stains Harley’s hands where he presses his discarded suit jacket against it.

With his free hand, he grabs his phone and calls Tony.

“Was Peter home? Have you two talked?” He sounds sympathetic, upset for Harley’s sake, because he was there at the practice dinner where Harley paced and paced and paced, getting more frustrated the more unanswered texts he sent to his missing fiancé.

“I’ll explain later, but he’s hurt. He passed out. Could you send a car? Meet us at the Compound?”

Tony curses under his breath and then there’s the sound of a car engine. “You need any help?”

“No, I can get him there. Just- Make sure Cho’s ready for us.”

“Be safe, kid… And I’m sorry things are tough for you both. I’m sorry this happened today.”

Harley chokes out a laugh through his tears. “I think the wedding is the least of our worries right now. I’ll see you there.”

He hangs up before Tony can offer anymore comforting words. Harley deserves to be hated, to be yelled at, for fighting with Peter without realizing he was hurt.

“C’mon, darling, we need to get you downstairs without making our landlord explode.”

He’s about to lift Peter up when he sees his silver engagement ring sparkling on the floor a few feet away. It looks so harmless, lying there on the hardwood, but it makes Harley’s chest ache and hands tremble where they hold the jacket to Peter’s side.

He grabs his ring, pressing a kiss to the cold metal, and sliding it back onto his finger, where it rightfully goes.

“I love you,” he whispers, pressing a kiss to Peter’s forehead. “I’m sorry, I love you.”

He stands up, carrying the superhero in his arms, head lolling against his shoulder, and he sets off for the car.

* “It’s not your fault.”

Harley looks up startled from where he’d been busy twisting his ring around his finger like he’s forcing himself to remember their relationship for what it was. Pepper’s standing in the doorway, Tony a few steps behind her.

“I know things get tough, trust me, I know better than most. I’ve been where you are. I married a superhero,” she says, sitting down on the other side of Peter’s bed where he’s still unconscious.

Tony leans against the wall behind her, expression soft. “I don’t know how this will turn out, but Peter’s a really good guy. He’s got a guilt complex the size of New York, and I think sometimes he forgets he isn’t responsible for everything that happens here.”

“I know that.” Harley’s voice comes out angrier than he thought it would and he crosses his arms, leaning back in his chair. “I know him. I knew what I was signing up for. I didn’t care when I was stood up or left halfway through dates, I didn’t care that he disappeared for weeks on missions with barely a goodbye, I didn’t care that I was always going to be second to Spider-Man. But he missed our practice wedding. It felt like he’d left me at the alter.”

“He wouldn’t do that.”

Pepper sighs, glancing down at Peter before focusing on Harley. “I’m not going to tell you what to do, but I think Peter would do anything for you. He’d give up Spider-Man in a heartbeat if that’s what you told him to do-”

“I’m not going to make him give up Spider-Man.”

“Of course not because you love him just as much as he loves you.”

Somehow, the simplicity of the phrase is enough to settle the decision for Harley. Pepper’s right, if he explains just how much he worries, just how much he hates feeling like he’s never going to compare to the luxuries of swinging through the streets, how much he wants to have confidence that Peter will show up whenever he’s needed like for their wedding or for date nights or for whatever promises he makes. If he explains, Peter will change. Peter will compromise. Peter will find a solution to make this better.

Peter stirs, eyes blinking open blearily, hand squeezing Harley’s.

Pepper nods confidently. “We’ll give you two some time.”

“Oh, and leave wedding re-planning to us and May this time, yeah? How do you feel about a Winter Wedding?”

“Wait, no.” Peter’s voice is rough and low, eyes barely able to stay open. His thumb is rubbing over Harley’s ring over and over again. “Wanted to marry you tomorrow.”

Harley tries to smile through the tears that fill his eyes. “I want to marry you too, honey. I just don’t think we’ll be able to get you out of a hospital bed and into a suit in time.”

He doesn’t want to say that he was having doubts just a few hours ago, that he thought he was through with their relationship not long ago.

Pepper smiles fondly at them, takes Tony’s hand, and then they leave the two boys alone.

“I’m sorry,” Peter says, squinting up at Harley with glassy eyes. “I should’ve been there. I was nervous and I thought I could get those nerves out by swinging, and I got caught up. I was never going to be late to the wedding. I wouldn’t have done that.”

“I know. I’m sorry too. I never want you to feel like you can’t be Spider-Man because of me, I never want to hold you back.” Harley sighs running his free hand through his hair. “I do want to marry you, Peter. I’m not done trying.”

Peter squeezes his hand weakly, thumb still twisting Harley’s ring. “I’d do anything for you, Harley. I hope you know that. I’d give it up for you.”

“No,” he says certainly. “We need to work on communicating, on compromising. It’s not all or nothing. I just want Sunday Breakfasts with you or Friday Night Movies or something. I want you to be there when it’s not important so I know you’ll be there when it is, too.”

“I love you.” Peter pulls Harley’s hand up to kiss the ring around his finger. “I wanna marry you. I don’t care if it’s right here in this hospital or if it’s in a park or on the moon, I wanna marry you.”

Harley grins, leaning down to kiss Peter. “I love you too, Parker. If we’re going to get married tomorrow, then we both need our beauty sleep so move over.”

Peter obliges, shifting to the side of the bed to make room for Harley, immediately curling into his warmth when he’s settled. “I love you, I’m sorry about yesterday.”

“We’re getting married, Peter. Things happen, I forgive you, we move on. As long as you’re there on time tomorrow, I think we can do anything.”  

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[doux-amer]

The reason Wandavision ultimately was a big disappointment was that it didn’t say anything new or add any depth to Wanda. Some people have argued that we shouldn’t have expected much because this is the MCU we’re talking about, but I hate that logic for two reasons: 

Marvel is using the Disney+ series to expand upon characters and plots that they couldn’t/didn’t get to explore in the films

This dismisses the existence of MCU works that have, while dealing with the trappings of being a blockbuster/studio film or “just” a superhero film or show, tried to go beyond that with their stories and characters

You can’t ignore Marvel’s goal with D+ nor can you paint all the works with the same brush.  

This was Marvel’s opportunity to give a side character who has been given such shoddy writing the growth she sorely needed. We didn’t get that. Wanda is very much the same person she was in Age of Ultron; we still barely know anything about her besides the fact that she’s powerful and traumatized. She is very much defined by that. Who is she outside of that? Who is she outside her grief? Why, for instance, does Vision love her so much? We know why she loves Vision. In fact, I’d argue that the star or at least the heart of Wandavision was Vision because we learn more about him and see him grow. 

There’s no movement, either positive or negative, here. Wanda continues to behave the same way, never learning or truly being shaped by her actions for good or bad in any significant way, and the MCU refuses to commit to making her anything. She isn’t a good hero. She isn’t a good antihero. She isn’t a good villain. They want to make her someone complex, but we’re left not understanding if we’re supposed to root for her despite her troubles or see that this is a troubling evolution towards emotional and moral corruption. Is she a messy hero? Or is she a sympathetic villain?

As a recap, here’s what we’ve seen of Wanda and why I’m saying she hasn’t had any meaningful growth:

Wanda volunteers for Hydra. You know, Nazis? If you want to quibble about whether they’re “technically” Nazis, whatever; they’re still a terrorist organization, and Wandavision explicitly states it as such. Here was a chance to address the awful decision Whedon made, but we get a white woman nonchalantly excusing her voluntary involvement with the world’s most famous terrorist group with a blasé “We wanted to change the world.” This is the most we get from her about this.

Wanda mentally violates and assaults the Avengers. She forcibly traps them in their worst nightmares. She coerces Bruce into transforming into the Hulk against his will, ripping him of his agency and sanity. When Bruce confronts her about this later in AoU, she straight up refuses to apologize. Wanda has yet to apologize to any of the Avengers.

In her thirst for vengeance, she decides to use the Hulk to hurt innocent people, most of whom are black, in Johannesburg. The only reason people aren't killed is that Tony tries to get people out of harm's way, get Bruce away from civilians, and help Bruce regain control before subduing him when he fails. We never see Wanda thinking about what she did in Johannesburg.

Wanda knows Ultron is evil and follows him, standing by as he hurts Helen Cho, yet another innocent civilian POC. She only cares about Ultron’s destructive nature when she reads his mind and realizes he wants to commit global genocide. Wanda is also arguably one of the Avengers most responsible for creating Ultron. Without her, there is no Ultron. Without her interference, we get Vision. We don’t ever see her grappling with her culpability. This is not the case with the others who made Ultron.

Wanda therefore plays a huge role in the destruction of her home country of Sokovia and the countless resulting deaths including Pietro’s. We see her sad, but we don’t see any guilt. We don’t even see survivor’s guilt.

Because she can’t control her power, Wanda commits manslaughter, killing innocent black people in a Lagos hospital. Other than seeing her react in horror at the scene and turn away from the video that Ross shows later, we don’t see how this impacts her or the way people treat her as an individual. She’s briefly detained under house arrest, essentially grounded, a logical response to what happened. 

Despite the damage she caused, she flees the compound with Clint to the airport even if Clint doesn’t give her a valid reason for doing so, not before slamming the person she cares about the most, Vision, through dozens of feet of concrete and earth.

Rather than seeing Wanda be reluctant to use her powers after learning she doesn’t know how to control herself, we see her chiding Clint for being soft and taking it easy on the other side. The Avengers are doing that because they’re fighting against their own teammates and friends; they’re acting to escape or subdue. She doesn’t care if she gets people hurt while trying to stop them as evidenced by what she says to Clint and her actions thereafter. 

Wanda takes a whole town hostage and mind controls them. All of the people whose identities she wipes and whom she turns into her puppets are in extreme pain. While what occurred happened instinctually rather than as a deliberate, conscious choice, she becomes aware of what she’s done at some point (Dottie’s cry for help, Wanda’s refusal to listen to Jimmy’s message, Monica breaking free of her conditioning, Vision bringing it up, etc.). She doesn’t let them go. She refuses to believe that they’re in pain even when she’s told that. Only when she’s backed into a corner does she let them go. She then never apologizes or even speaks a word to them. (It doesn’t matter whether or not she thinks they’d accept her apology; you don’t apologize on the condition that you’re heard and forgiven. You do it because you should, even if it doesn’t change anything for the people you hurt. She only apologizes to the one person whom she knows will accept her apology/be lenient on her.)

When Monica starts to remember the real world, Wanda gets hostile and slams her through multiple houses, past the ends of town, and through the reality boundary.

When Vision becomes aware of the problem at hand, she repeatedly gaslights him and tries to control what he can/should and can’t/shouldn’t do. She gets upset when he doesn’t act the way she wants him to. She doesn’t apologize to him beyond saying she should have told him earlier which is only part of the problem.

Wanda tells Agatha the difference between them is that while Agatha did what she did intentionally, she didn’t. This isn’t true.

What Agatha says about Wanda is true; she’s cruel. For the third time in a row, Wanda decides to violate someone’s mind and control them. She essentially murders Agatha, even if it’s bloodless and reversible (and she only says she’ll reverse it if she wants to use Agatha).

After the fight is over, she decides to leave Westview rather than face any consequences or help clean up. She leaves the Westview residents with all their trauma and the destruction of their town without a word to them.

In the post-credits scene, she has fled the country and is isolated in a remote cabin, reading a book she doesn’t understand about concepts she doesn’t understand instead of seeking help when she has a terrible track record of self-teaching or understanding her powers.  

When you put all of this together, everything screams “villain,” but as I said, the writers refuse to come out and say that she’s that. They refuse to say anything, and maybe you can argue that they don’t have to make it clear right this moment. You can argue that Wanda should be allowed to be messy, just like many other characters in the MCU are. 

The thing about that line of reasoning, though, is that those other characters who are messy? The writing acknowledges that, and we see them deal with the ramifications of their actions and they’re held accountable to them. We see them apologize. We see them try to be better people. We see them work to make up for their mistakes or sins. We need to see Wanda do that if we’re supposed to see her as a hero. Or if she isn’t (and there’s nothing wrong with that! Wanda doesn’t have to be a hero, and in fact, she could be a compelling antagonist or villain which can be exciting), well, she still needs to face consequences. 

She doesn’t. She is, by far, the uncontested champion in getting away with what she does; yes, we get some handwaving for certain things other characters do, but no other character has nearly all of their deeds and behavior ignored to the extent Wanda does. It’s extremely frustrating to see. We keep seeing a cycle:

Wanda is full of anger/vengeance and/or grief. 

She acts from a place of trauma and prioritizes her desires. 

Something bad happens.

Often, it’s something she didn’t mean to happen or she didn’t mean to go that far.

She’s horrified or sad.

Very occasionally, she gets a slap on the wrist, but it’s so brief and doesn’t actually change anything that it might as well not have happened. Most times, it’s as if she never did anything and the story never brings up what she did again (unless it’s to show how she’s sad or powerful).

She doesn’t do anything. She does the same mistakes/crimes again. Wash and repeat.

It’s so unbelievably vexing and tiresome. Despite all my issues with Wanda up until Wandavision and, most importantly her casting, I wanted to like Wanda, whether it was as a hero or villain or someone in between. BUT WE GOT NOTHING NEW. I don’t know anything about Wanda even now beyond “vengeful, sad, powerful white woman who is traumatized and clings to family because of that”! This is the SAME EXACT THING we’ve been dealing with since the beginning, and it’s so frustrating. Wanda deserved better.