johannas-motivational-insults

[johannas-motivational-insults]

June: "Serena, we are NOT together"

Also June: IF YOU TOUCH SERENA YOU DIE

[johannas-motivational-insults]

if i SPEAK

[johannas-motivational-insults]

Mark: *casually mentions Serena*

June: SERENA? DID U SAY SEREN-OHMYGOD HOW IS SHE IS SHE OKAY DOES SHE MISS ME

Mark: *clears throat*

June: I mean- Is her son alright

[johannas-motivational-insults]

The Handmaid's Tale — S6E1: Train (2025)

[johannas-motivational-insults]

If you can change the names and sell your fic (without butchering it), you’re doing it wrong

It really is crazy how if you mention you write fanfiction with people outside fandom, they're always like "you should change the names and try to sell it." It misses the point (fun), but more importantly to me, I get slightly (and I know irrationally) insulted on a craft level. Excuse me, my fanfic is entwined with the canon, thank you very much. I wish sometimes less entwined. You wouldn't believe the stupid bullshit some of my fics have to include because of canon.

[johannas-motivational-insults]

fucking goldfish tiktok made me cry bro

[johannas-motivational-insults]

[johannas-motivational-insults]

Look, I know Serena’s irony deficiency is showing here, but the understated thing in this scene is that she straight up calls Nichole June’s daughter. There’s no more of that bullshit where she’s trying to reclaim Nichole as her own. She gave that baby to June to get her out of Gilead, and that is what June did, and it seems like Serena is finally at peace with that decision. And while I’m sure she is happy to be reconnected with the girl she once considered her daughter, she knows that is not their relationship anymore.

(Of course, now having Noah - a baby of her own - surely plays into this, but I think it’s still important given June’s worry even a couple seasons ago that Serena was going to try to reclaim Nichole.)

June x Serena || 6x01.

[johannas-motivational-insults]

God grant me the strength to do the things I enjoy

[johannas-motivational-insults]

[johannas-motivational-insults]

Porter Robinson - Russian Roulette

This is the messiest web weave ever but the new Porter Robinson song has my mind in a vice grip

[johannas-motivational-insults]

Occasionally as an Australian you'll be talking to someone from overseas, and you'll discover a common phrase you took for granted is, in fact, not universally known outside of our country.

Turns out casually dropping "fuck me dead" into conversation will give unsuspecting Americans an aneurism.

The more you know.

[johannas-motivational-insults]

this feels like a bit. i know it’s not but this is so absurd that it feels like it’s right out of arrested development

[johannas-motivational-insults]

Hey guys, I want everyone to be aware the Hands Off protests are ongoing. Your local org might or might not be doing one this weekend or next or both, but you can find out here:

I had an absolute BLAST at mine this last week and highly encourage you guys stand up and show out. Make a sign about whatever is pissing you off the most!

The events for the 19th may not be up yet, but you can find other local events here: https://www.mobilize.us/

[johannas-motivational-insults]

“Appeal to a wider audience” is corporate lingo for “strip more themes from a piece of media so it’s safer and more sanitized for investors”

[johannas-motivational-insults]

I spent a lot of time handcuffed and in a cage in high school, for a charity bit the grocery store I worked at would do

the bit was that I was "put in jail for having too big a heart" and customers could donate to my bail to get me out (and the money would go to a children's hospital or something)

now. I was very clearly a teenaged employee handcuffed inside a large cage. and I would honestly tell people that I had been in there for hours. and people would say, that's terrible! that's awful! and I would show them my wrists red from the tight handcuffs, and say but I'm sooooooo close to making bail.

and then they would dump some cash in the basket, I'd thank them, and they'd walk away.

and every so often, one of the managers would come by and collect some of the cash, so I could keep being soooooo close to making bail.

I was very good with this bit. Parents with small kids would pay $5-10 if I told their children I had been placed in jail for not cleaning my room/doing my homework, etc. For people in their 20s, I'd threaten that I was very bad at playing the harmonica, but I WOULD play it and we'd all suffer unless they paid me. and for the most amount of money, older men in suits would almost always pay $20s if I avoided eye contact and stammered a lot.

eventually, the managers started to feel bad because I was in the cage so fucking long and often, that I'd need someone to brace me when I got out because I'd have no feeling in my legs. wobbling like a newborn giraffe.

but I would also rake in at LEAST $100 an hour in charity.

so they were like, hey champ. can we, uh, give you a pillow to sit on. in the cage. would you like a pillow so you're not just sitting on a cold metal slab. can we give you a pillow.

and I had to explain to them that if they gave me a pillow, people would think I was more comfortable, so they wouldn't feel as bad, so I'd bring in less money.

the compromise was that they'd bring me a nice coffee every couple hours, which I would have to try to block with my body from the customers.

all this money went to charity. that's what the money was for. it's what was on the sign. but how much they were willing to pay was very contingent on how comfortable I looked, never mind the fact that I was still a teenaged employee handcuffed inside a cage.

and out of the dozens of shifts I did this on, not ONCE did ANYONE say, hey kid I'm going to go talk to your manager because what the fuck is going on here. they would just drop money in the basket, and I'd thank them and sip from my secret drink.

I actually had people get MAD at me that I told them I was far away from bail, they donated like $15, and then 20 minutes I got let out because my shift ended.

again. the money was for charity. it was on the sign that was very clearly placed on the upper half of my cage.

so yeah. even when people think they mean well. people can be really, really fucking stupid.