#the heart killers discourse

[khaoala]

I think Kant would have gotten far less criticism or hatred if KantBison were not being shoved into our throat. Like, clearly the showmakers want us to root for KB, everyone from Style to Cop Chris saying how Kant has fallen for Bison yada yada but at the same time Kant casually talks about Bison, the supposed love of his life, getting shot dead or spending his entire life in prison....without any sign of pain in his voice or face...like he's talking about mildly uncomfy weather.

This is clearly a narrative problem but it does make viewers frustrated and Kant's character has to bear the brunt of this narrative folly. I am very sure if the narrative made it clear from the start that KB are not, under any condition ending up together, the situation would have been different....but of course gmmtv has to sell their cp (by which I mean cp merch and stuff). The showmakers already have a pair (FadelStyle) that are hitting all the right spots for how a romantic pair should be and they can be easily shown to be having a happily ever after. Ideally they should have kept KantBison 'lovers to enemies' actually ending up as enemies...but well....cp 😒

i'll start this by saying this is the one and only ask with hate for kant/kantbison that i will answer because from your oh so many words, i can already tell you fit into the exact category of people who already made up your mind about the character and nothing i say will change your perception. but bc i'm not feeling like being the bigger person, sure, you wanna talk about this, let's talk about this.

first of all, i wanna talk about your apparent hatred for cps (or maybe it's just fk, we never know) and gmmtv's system, and you know, that's so funny because that's, and i know it'll shock you, their thing😯. so maybe if you didn't want to see that, you shouldn't have started watching the show, even after knowing that the two couples would end up together in the end because guess what, this was advertised as a romcom. and we what do we get with romcoms? exactly, happy endings. a travesty.

i find it so funny when people say fadelstyle are hitting all the spots for a romantic pairing, because that's what's supposed to be (again, a romcom), they are the more traditional romantic storyline (or as traditional as you can get with a killer and a guy who only started hitting on him and continued to do so because he wanted a car) so they are supposed to be hitting those spots. it's their storyline.

see, kantbison hooked up that very first night they met, clear attraction, kant was besotted by his one night stand and was calling him a ghost because bison up and ran before they could wake up together. their first interaction together and it had nothing to do with the police, or lying or manipulating, so maybe it's not a narrative problem that kantbison are "being shoved down our throats" maybe it's just a you problem if you didn't notice what they were being set up to.

and many people have talked about this already, and if you cared to read either liz's or lauren's meta about kant, you wouldn't have come to my inbox complaining about kant not being expressive when he clearly can't let himself feel the things he wants because his priority will always be his brother (just like fadel will prioritize bison always) in contrast to style who doesn't have to carry the responsibility of raising and caring for a younger brother on his shoulders.

and darling, if you started this show thinking at any point, from the trailers, pilot or official, promotional photos, osts, novel, press, anything, that kantbison would not be a thing, again, it's not on them, it's on you and your poor observation skills. there are plenty of people way more qualified than me to talk about this and how kant actually cares for bison, and how he's torn between his heart and his brain, but you don't really care, so why bother.

[maybe-boys-do-love]

The Only Friends Conspiracy Corner

Welcome to my Only Friends conspiracy theory corner, where I lose my mind on the regular and explain why I believe Only Friends is a veiled commentary on the Thai BL entertainment industry and its relationship to Thailand's soft power economic model, especially Thailand's gay (aka pink money) tourism. As The Heart Killers gets relatively explicit about issues of structural political and economic power, now seems as good a time as ever to talk about Jojo’s last show that seemed to me to put so much of its political work in the subtext. This is just the starter pack. Hit me up with more thoughts anytime!

The Only Friends Hostel business. We have business majors in this show, a rarity in Thai BL, and for their class project they're opening a hostel. Each member of the friend group has a business role to play--Ray provides the real estate, Mew takes on leadership of finances and accounting, Cheum provides PR, and Boston's tasked with creative direction--but the value of the individuals, their roles in the business, and their willingness to collaborate with one another is the tension that drives the series. The characterizations, dialogue, and events in the series ought to be viewed in light of this. Mew, for example, partners off with Top, who encroaches on the friends' trivia group to answer for them a question about Thailand's first hotel, The Oriental, which two Americans established for sailors in Bangkok shortly after the opening of the Kingdom of Siam to international trade in 1855 and later two Dutch business partners reestablished after a fire. A single answer links Top to the influx of Western capitalism in the form of a hotel in Thailand! To count up the economic references in Only Friends would take a massive spreadsheet.

Artistic Passions. Each boy in the Y.O.L.O. bar friend group is associated with one artistic medium. Boston with photography and visual arts more broadly, Ray with music, and Mew with books (lol there's a scene in the last episode in which the translation has Force use the word force in a sentence immediately followed by Book as Mew mentioning his "books"). These are the components of the television and film medium: visuals, sound, and writing. Their romantic entanglements are also colored by their preferred medium and the narrative styles associated with them. Boston has his sensual dark room developments *wink wink,* Ray hooks up with a musician to visit record stores and concerts like a romantic movie couple, Mew makes his ideal seme court him in bookstores and dates straight out of a BL romcom novel. Even Cheum’s girlfriend, April, makes indie movies that go over our token lesbian’s head.

Atom, Cheum, and Mew’s BL Fantasies. It’s not surprising Cheum’s not about those art house flicks. Her, her brother, and Mew all espouse some BL tropes with harmful consequences. The most blatant is Atom’s stated belief that he ‘turned gay’ because of Boston, which he’s corrected on, but Atom, Nick, and Mew all commit to the BL (and broader romance) trope of equating first affections with true love. And Cheum sorts the gay men of her life into simplified categories of red flags or green flags, predators or cinnamon buns. Not all BLs are so simplistic with their trope usage and characterizations, but Only Friends highlights damaging tendencies that occur in the genre and among its fans.

The Pairings. Speaking of fans, one of the key strategies for creating fan interest are the pairings. While not unique to the BL industry entirely—Hollywood’s been pairing actors for publicity and dollars from pretty early on—BL pairs have a pretty distinct flavor, and Only Friends’ casting takes advantage of that. For our pair associated with the most fluffy BL narratives, we have ForceBook, a CP only ever paired together who have known one another since kindergarten. The maturer second love romance goes to FirstKhao, who both worked in other pairings before landing in their current contractual partner relationship. The situationship to end all situationships goes to two actors who, at the time, were not in a CP, something that Jojo has specifically mentioned as relevant to his interests when casting.

The Boeing of it all. Named after a fucking airplane manufacturer, with multiple references to his dreams of traveling internationally (concerts with Sand), flight (he's working to be a airline attendant), and flightiness (both his flightiness toward his bf’s and his encouragement of others to fly away from their partners). In a show explicitly about the hospitality industry? In a genre dependent on international viewers??? In one name, we get such a fountain of economic insight!

Begin Again. In the finale episode, Ray tells Sand he always wanted to wander around listening to music like they did in Begin Again. In fact, Mew and Top’s silent disco moment plays homage to the same sequence. Begin Again, however, is not a romance, despite what the marketing and weak reviews (from critics who expected a swooning repeat of indie gem Once from its director) implied. Instead, Begin Again uses romantic expectations as a trojan horse for an insider portrait of the music industry as the streaming industry changed its operating models. The leads are Mark Ruffalo who plays a has-been alcoholic producer (an important reference to even better understand Ray’s role in the hostel business) and Kiera Knightly, playing a singer-songwriter betrayed by her rising star boyfriend (acted by Adam Levine from Maroon 5). Spoiler alert: If you imagine something more between Knightly and Ruffalo’s characters than the deep relationship creatives can form making art together, you’ll be sorely disappointed. Ruffalo’s character goes back to his ex-wife (a bad omen for SandRay stans since the characters spend the time preceding their romantic walk in the last episode arguing about whether they still have feelings for their exes). Knightly’s chanteuse gets her former boyfriend to apologize and sing her song without pop theatrics on stage but she chooses not to join him and stick to her own independent path. Importantly, the film by the end respects both the popular and auteur artistic sensibilities, reserving more ire for the business models. No one character or method is completely demonized or sanctified. I can’t help but recognize a similar spirit in the portrayal of the three gay romance narratives in Only Friends—Boston’s queer tragedy, Ray’s tear-jerking gay romantic drama, or Mew’s BL comedy. The show acknowledges the formative role of those storytelling modes in the BL industry and even touches on some economic realities of choosing one mode over another. Some exemplary dialogue from the Begin Again: 

“I just think that an A&R [a record label’s artists and repertoire representative] man telling an artist how they should dress or come across is total bullshit. People don’t want that. They want authenticity”

“Authenticity! Give me the name of one artist that you think passes your authenticity test…I’m not saying you can’t be a real bona fide motherfucker in this business but you’ve got to do whatever it takes and get people in to see your shows where THE MUSIC can start to do its real work.”

Personal Hygiene Lessons. In the last two episodes, we witness Ray’s community service teaching children about hygiene. “Once upon a time…” he begins, which immediately alerts me to television writers depicting the act of storytelling. It’s a story attempting to encourage daily toothbrushing to protect from plaque, but Sand steps in and scares them with the threat of a bug crawling into their body if they don’t brush their teeth—suspiciously more similar to issues of sexual health than teeth brushing. The next clinic presentation is about washing out your nose. Either Thailand’s got some hygiene practices I don’t know about, or Jojo’s writing team snuck in a sneaky reference to douching. Watching, I was reminded that Jojo and his good friend and fellow director Aof Noppharnach (Bad Buddy, ATOTS, so many other huge GMMTV series!) began their careers writing and directing a series directly about sexual health for GayOK Bangkok, produced by an HIV testing organization. After the first presentation, Sand explains, “I’m approachable to all ages and genders,” a prime marketing demographic if I’ve ever heard one! Just like Sand, Aof, who is now the senior director of content production at GMMTV, has made inroads for himself and others into a massive market by developing a writing, directing, and producing strategy for integrating queer content (here’s my post about his recurring motifs around HIV treatment) within family-friendly BL shows, often with a romantic fairytale-like quality hearkening back to Ray’s “Once upon a time…” 

The Politician. The parents included in the series have distinguished economic and political circumstances they're associated with. Bear with me on the political-economy history lessons here. Boston, most prominently, has a father running for political office, and we meet him for the first time while Boston's wearing a 1998 t-shirt, the year the Thai Rak Thai (Thais Love Thais) party was founded by Thaksin Shinawatra, telecom billionaire and Thailand's first prime minister to lead a democratically elected government through a full-term in office beginning in 2001. He led key initiatives to promote tourism, make healthcare accessible, and, controversially, crackdown on drugs. Essentially, he provided the vision for the government that kick-started Thailand's move to its current project of soft-power. In fact, his youngest daughter, Paetongtarn Shinawatra, (who describes herself as a "socially liberal capitalist") is the current prime minister partly responsible for overseeing the equal marriage bill into law. Thaksin was ousted by a military coup in 2006 following his family's decision to sell its shares in major Thai telecom group to a Singaporean company and, faced with corruption charges in 2008, lived in exile (until September 2023, less than a month after Only Friends started airing). Ousted for not playing his part in supporting a Thai business? Boston, is that you? There is also a comment in the first episode about the massage parlor Boston's father built his financial success off of, and there's a conversation to be had there about Thailand's Thaksin-led shift away from and crackdown on its sex tourism industry. (The Department for Communicable Disease Control shirt on Style's shirt in episode 3 of The Heart Killers is a government organization in Thailand, not Alabama as the shirt says, which among other things monitors direct sex workers for STDs.) How might a focus on constant financial and moral improvement harm those who fail sanctions against promiscuity? What I find so artful about Boston's potential linkage to Thaksin is how he's constructed as Thaksin's parallel--in his journey toward exile and the over-consumption that led him there--and his antithesis. Boston's the victim, at least in his emotional well-being, of a neoliberal legacy. Thaksin's policies, similar to those of Rudy Giuliani and his predecessors in NYC, promoted family-friendly tourism and industry growth by supporting the corporate partnerships and broken window policing to price out and criminalize those unconventional populations who had taken refuge or even just found themselves in these locales after being marginalized elsewhere. In the same vein, the privileging of monogamous pairing in both BL narratives and BL fan-service expectations serve important goals encouraging breadths of people to accept and embrace gay love socially and politically—Thailand’s upcoming marriage rights bill, more expansive than most western countries, certainly has the BL industry’s influence to thank. Without further input, however, they neglect queer experiences beyond the realm of the first love or marriage plot. They neglect greater issues of equity, compassion, and freedom due to each individual human being (both actors and the general population), which the LGBT population, among others, has historically had an intimate experience with being denied or limited. 

Nick’s Digital Underworld. Nick’s our little tech wunderkind in OnlyFriends. His character fixes phones, hooks up cameras and recording equipment, makes digital campaign posters, you name it! And I personally love that he’s both a skeevy pathetic tech wizard and radiantly beautiful. His cute-factor almost lets us forget about his voyeuristic tendencies. He’s just a content enjoyer, and Boston loves creating content—he just doesn’t want himself recorded…So why doesn’t Nick just get off to some porn instead? Only Friends didn’t name itself so closely to the amateur adult content website for no reason! In fact, we got an OnlyFans reference in The Heart Killers episode 4. Imma have to thank this post for noticing an OnlyFans sign in the background of Addicted Heroin Th and pointing out that it’s illegal in Thailand, cuz I had never considered anything about the country’s pornography laws or internet censorship. I’ll try to restrain myself from blabbering too much about the history I found here and here, but the important part: Thaksin’s once again our guy kicking it off. The Thaksin government censorship focused heavily on antipornography and the 2006 military coup brought in a more Orwellian political flavor to the proceedings, both of which have basically proliferated with continuing regime changes. In 2020, mainly because of increased censorship of adult websites (which is a current global conservative trend—I’m looking at you Project 2025—so don’t hate on Thailand too much), Thailand dropped to the third-lowest tier of internet freedom, according to the company Comparitech (which focuses on cybersecurity and online privacy), only above North Korea, China, and Iran. Both content creators and consumers can have some harsh punishments under the laws. With that in mind, it’s hard to imagine Jojo’s team giving us Boston’s pornographic art and Nick’s digital pornographic consumption as mere character dressing. The fact that they are the two excluded from the friend group at the end, excluded from the local business, from acceptance! Meanwhile, having censored the “deviant” contingent out of the equation, romance is alive and well at the OnlyFans—I mean, Only Friends hostel. As one kind of gay content is uplifted, another is suppressed and banished. No, Boston and the pornography industry he seems to signify are not perfect, but neither are his friends, nor the entertainments and political-economies with which they’re equated. 

Without too much moralizing, these are the sorts of observations and hypocrisies Only Friends highlights. In my reading, at least, it depicts these media and economic trends through its characters, allowing them to play out and contend with one another as they have in reality. Sometimes the allegorical tensions or pairing of genres and capital occurs in the dynamics between characters. Other times, as I pointed out with Boston and his Thaskin connection, the tension exists within a single character. These strategies allow the show to engage with political issues while under the government’s censorship laws, but this is also just what great literary political writing looks like! It speaks to its time, but it will stand much longer as simply a character-driven story about the contentions that arise between money, sex, love, and friendship. I cannot wait for Girl Rules to give us Jojo’s GL perspective on related issues and for Only Friends Dream On to explore this territory in the context of an actual BL production! Let the chaotic theorizing ensue!

[fuck-i-like-too-much-stuff]

Ik style wants to haunt the beach or the mountains. But haunting a secondhand store would be very on-brand for him

[sindyswonderland]

so we're gonna give grace to bison to process the betrayal instead of targeting him right?

we can all not hate kant and feel bad for bison at the same time. It's called empathy. They both deserve it.

So far there has not been enough empathy for bison nor has kant been given the same chances when he has been forced to work with the police and agianst bison to keep his brother safe which bison would understand in a heartbeat.

Let's do better and give our boys a break in the second half folks.

[ichigokeks]

What about Fadel and Style's kiss?

Let's talk about it. The first kiss was kind of in line of Style's teasing and it caught Fadel off guard so he was just surprised. Then it sort of escalated into something that no longer made any sense. Neither Fadel nor Style (!) seemed to enjoy that. Even though Style kept pushing it, he didn't even look like he actually wanted to kiss him. Talking about consent in a dark romance show is obviously a bit out there, as dub-con is to be expected. However, the second and third kiss seemed unnecessary. I'll take the first one and to be honest it had a good effect and it would have had its impact if they had stopped there. After that it was just uncomfortable and SA.

[spear-carrier-number-three]

the rampant kant hate in this fandom isn't surprising but it is exasperating.

[wormchamp72]

hiii!! im a new jeff the killer fan :p how do you recommend i enjoy the character of jeff appropriately? xD

First of all, you need 2 know that NO ONE. And I mean no one. Can tell you how 2 truly enjoy Jeff the Killer. Every person is unique... it is wrong 2 assume that 1 man's pleasure is every man's pleasure. Each person must form their own unique relationship with scintillating character that is Jeff the Killer (though 2 some, he is more than a character).

HOWEVER.

I, Wormchamp72, do have my... opinions.

While no one can dictate how you enjoy Jeff the Killer, there are certainly some ways that are better than others. Some ways, I shudder to think of...

So if you want 2 know how to enjoy Jeff appropriately, you have come 2 the right place.

DO NOT "cutesify" him. Ugh....what a thought. You may be shocked 2 hear me say this...after all, who would do such a thing 2 Jeff? The answer may be far worse than you thought...all too often I am scrolling my beloved "dash" and find nothing but UWU YAOI (2 be clear I do support yaoi it is art too and I support the gay rights movement nothing but love 2 my gay supporteers u are loved and seen by The Worm) BOY BL CUTE XOXO UWUWUWUWUWU OWO I WANT TO KISS JEFF THE KILLER HOT STEAMY MAKEOUT SESH JEFF X TOBI TICCIJEFF EROTIC NSFT. UGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (2 be clear no hate is meant)

Need I say why that is porblematic? I could go on.....send asks if u want me 2 go on or actually i will make my own post about it ugghhhh I am seething just thinking about it I saw art of jeff and Ticci Tobi without SHIRTS uggggh now I understand if it is for a tastefull piece of art such as a rendition of Michaelangelo's David where jeff the Killer is the one pointing and Ticcie Tobi is the other guy (sorry I dont jnow bibnle lore I grew up in an aethiest household) but THIS HAD S3XUAL IMPLICATIONS shown by there blushing UGGGGHHHH I almost thought of BLOCKING THE TAG OF JEFF BUT I LOVE IT 22222 MUCH 2 BLOCK GET OFF OF HERE IF U POST NSFT JEFF ART (Not safe 4 tumbler)

Do not fetishize his pain and suffering. Now, one may take a brief look at my blog (does not apply 2 followers (love)) and think that I am part of the problem in romanticizing Jeff's suffering. However, if you read more than a couple of my posts, you will see that I truly understand Jeff's pain and am not romanticizing it. I simply relate 2 it on an emotional level that others cannot truly understand. Thus it is perfectly alright when I do it but when others try to romanticize his pain it comes off as disingenuous. If you want me 2 judge if you are allowed to relate 2 Jeff the Killer like I can, send me an ask and I will tell you if you can.

Do not make fun of him. I have seen all too many posts calling him "dumb" or a "loser." Grrrrr....How do you Not Understand that YUOU are PART OF THE PROBLEM when u do that????? That is the readon Jeff has BURNS AND CUT HIS MOUTH OPEN YOU 3FFOING #@$%^T!@$%^&*(*&^%$%^&*I(O*&^%!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU ARE HE 3FFING BULLIES WHO DO U HTHINK U ARE BEING A CREEPYPASTA FAN AYUJ U ARE NOT A REAL FAN IF YOU DON THESE THINGS U ARE THE BULLIES NBHJJNN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Do not ignore Jeff's burn scars. They are a crucial part of his character. There are many interpretations, but whatever you do, do not ignore them in favor of making him more "attractive." It is alright 2 find Jeff a little attractive, but if you have 2 take away his scars 2 do so...take a long look at yourself and rethink your values.

Other than that feel free 2 enjoy Jeff the Killer however you please. Lots of Love,

Wormchamp72, resident Jeff the Killer Expert.

[takeadeepbreathandexist]

Yesterday it was at number 1 and then dropped to 7 and today we’re back up to spot 3. I feel like I’ve only ever seen BL in the top ten in day with new episodes

[thequeenofsastiel]

Finally getting around to watching ep 6 of The Heart Killers and I'm ngl it's still weird to see Thai come out of a white guy's mouth.

[29daffodils]

the only time i will not ship something vaguely incestuous is if i think one/both of them have soulmates outside of that ship.

so no, do not count me in your “non illegal” shipper squad. i am very much an illegal shipper. in fact I'm the captain of the illegal ship.

[ropebunnykant]

#liz im gonna be so real. as interesting as this is i think this is the first time i actually disagree w u#not even necessarily on the religious stuff but more on the bison stuff. bc i get a completely different read on him tbh#like i just don't think i would ever describe him as someone who enjoys killing ppl. 100% he has a violent streak in him#but imo that's not bc he has some inherent penchant towards violence that brings him joy but rather as a result of his upbringing#under lilly's roof. and also bc he's unstable as hell but i think that's also bc of lilly and probably what happened to his parents too#but i don't at all think he enjoys killing ppl. like one of the first things we're told abt him is that he wants out! he's so vocal abt it!#like he always wants to get things over and done with and get out asap! it's fadel who's meticulous and concerned! bison has always seemed#completely detached from the killing to me. the only time we saw emotion that kinda leans that way was in that first honeypot scene#but that imo that was a power thing and not a violence thing. and i think the fact that he FANTASIZES abt doing all these violent things#but in actuality does none of them proves that. he was angry and hurt and defaulted to extreme violence bc that's all he knows atp#but the reality is he did none of it. he easily could have. but he didn't bc he's NOT inherently violent in that way. he just doesn't know#how else to process his hurt. violence is all he HAS. like i don't think he was delighting in it at all i think he's just fucked up lmao#and while i agree that fadel is suspicious of lilly imo bison has always been presented as the thorn in her side#he's the one who questions her. who gets annoyed w her. who doesn't seem to give much of a fuck if the job gets done or not#he's the one who wants to get away and VOICES it. to her face. and while i do think that fadel probably KNOWS more#he's lowkey completely under her thumb in a way bison isn't. he doesn't wanna question her or doubt her and he doesn't want bison to either#now that could be bc he KNOWS she's crazy but either way i just completely disagree w the implication that bison is closer w lilly!#i think she KEEPS him close and butters him up more precisely BECAUSE she knows if she doesn't keep him docile he could be#a v big problem for her. fadel can be trusted to stay in line. bison can't be. so she HAS to give him extra attention. does that make sense#so while i do agree that bison believes what she says and takes what she tells them abt these 'bad people' at face value#imo that's more of a symptom of him just. not caring enough to question it than it is him wholeheartedly believing she's 100% honest#i'm so sorry 😞 u know i love u but this post was just not it for me </3

tags by @sunsetsover

first of all NEVER apologize for disagreeing with me, we're allowed to have varying opinions as long as we can be respectful about it which you very much were and i appreciate and adore the additions because i think you bring up some good points, even if we do clearly disagree. i'm gonna explain my personal reasoning for thinking the way i do, but my intention isn't necessarily to change your mind, just to back up my own thoughts on this because obviously i have reasons for viewing bison the way i do.

first of all, i absolutely agree that bison's violent streak is a result of his upbringing - and i actually would argue that his upbringing is also what led him to have a delight in it, which i do still stand by. because while i agree the instance we see in the first episode is very much also about power, i think it is also about the act of killing. to me, he has always seemed to be in a pretty positive state of mind when they're on the job, and while maybe that is just his way of detaching from it, i don't think he would involve himself so heavily in certain instances if that was the case. i've had this belief about him since episode one tbh, but i think what truly cemented it for me that bison enjoys it, was strangely enough, this gif that antania @riggerbison made from episode six.

to me, this gif is a PERFECT representation of how both fadel and bison cope with the killing and violence they enact (and yes, i know they don't actually kill these guys, but the point stands!). because on the one hand we have fadel, standing straight up, detaching himself from it, not looking at the guy at all. and then we have bison, cradling his guy to his chest, looking right at him, even looking like he's making those soft, sarcastic "hey it's okay" noises you see so often in this kind of media. and to your point, i think you can totally view this as bison also enjoying the power in it as well, but i also think the two are linked in a lot of ways. especially because canonically, bison is a sadist! we know, in great detail, the fact that he gets off on hurting someone else. and while obviously there's a difference between hurting someone in a safe and controlled environment and hurting them to kill them or inflict real damage, i don't think (SPECIFICALLY IN BISON'S CASE!) that the two are entirely divorced from one another, either.

i also don't think this is negated by the fact that bison wants to get out, either. antania and i actually talked about this back just after episode two, but bison's desire to get out is less about not finding enjoyment in the violence and the killing, it's the fact that he has no freedom. bison is someone that has never had control and he desperately, desperately craves it, so of course he wants to get out from under the thumb of someone who forces him into a life of isolation. because that has ALWAYS been bison's main complaint. if memory serves me correctly, he actually only directly states he doesn't want to kill people anymore once, and that's in his outburst to fadel in episode three. and i'm not saying that he's lying there, but i think the fact that the sentence is almost immediately followed "i want a boyfriend!" tells us that it's not actually because he doesn't like the killing aspect, and far more about the fact that he wants a social life. he wants friends, he wants a boyfriend, he wants to be open and honest with those people in his life. but those two things directly contradict each other and while maybe bison does enjoy the killing aspect, it's certainly not enough to rid him of his desire to have a community.

and i do agree bison is the thorn in lilly's side! but i don't think that comes from suspicion, i think it comes from again, a desire for freedom. i don't think bison views lilly as evil or doesn't believe the things she tells him, i think it again comes from his desire for control. i also think he's ALLOWED to be the thorn in her side because again, he's portrayed (at least from the limited scenes we've seen) as her favorite. like she has a soft spot for him. and i actually agree, like you said, i think it likely comes off that way BECAUSE she knows she has to butter him up so he won't make the wrong moves. but i also think it gives him more leeway than say, fadel, who while more visibly obedient, is also the one that will openly lie to her, will make sure bison keeps things from her, and he's the one that we suspect has already disobeyed her once before. i think the difference isn't so much who's more under her thumb so much as it is who is more strategic about her. and i think the fact that fadel is more strategic about his approach, while bison is willing to be vocal, does show which one of them actually trusts her more. if bison didn't have some level of respect and trust for her, he wouldn't be willing to speak up at all - he'd go behind her back more readily in the same way fadel does. because fadel is the one going behind her back and around her - and that's infinitely more dangerous than the person letting her know upfront what he thinks.

obviously i don't expect you to suddenly change your opinion, but i do hope this explains my thoughts on it all better :)

just woke up in a cold sweat because i think i’ve realized exactly what all the fucking religious symbolism is actually pointing out and like hoooooly shit. holy shit.

the fact that bison wears a jesus shirt in his fantasies of killing kant has been nagging me since the moment i realized it and i think i’ve realized why it is - and the reason for all of the things pointing towards and symbolizing bison as jesus.

it’s because that’s how bison views himself. not as actually jesus and the second coming, no, but he views himself as righteous, as a reckoning for all these people that they kill. he believes their mother when he says they only kill bad people, and that’s why he gets so much enjoyment out of it, why he involves himself far more in it than fadel, who always detaches himself. it’s why he delights in the idea of killing kant now, fantasizes about it, because he thinks that’s what’s right. kant betrayed him, and he’s a good person. he’s righteous. so that means kant deserves to die for it.

and that’s why kant is judas the betrayer AND john the beloved. because when bison knows it’s coming and turns a blind eye, he views himself the same way as jesus turning a blind eye to judas’s betrayal. and he’s the one the makes kant into john the beloved finding the tomb empty first because he hides from him (notably after kant had confessed to not wanting to lie to bison anymore)!

bison views himself as righteous. as jesus.

but he’s not. because jesus would never take joy in killing anyone. jesus would never have fun with it, in the same way bison does. and even if he did, jesus wouldn’t want to stop to date.

but you know who doesn’t take joy in any of it? who detaches himself from it? who seems, in the very least, suspicious of their mother?

you know who’s birthday is on christmas?

fadel. and if fadel is jesus… then bison can’t be. actually, i think that might make bison far closer to judas the betrayer. and that’s just awfully poetic, isn’t it? because didn’t judas think he was doing the right thing, too, when he sold jesus out? when he took money in exchange for telling the soldiers which one jesus was? just like bison thought he was doing the right thing when he told kant to get fadel off his back. just like he exchanged his brother for a lover and took them both down in the process.

[starsanddragonflies]

Just me tag-ranting again bc that’s my fave about tumblr tbh

[redfoxwritesstuff]

Why Is Misdemeanor Of the Heart's Reader...

White Coded?

Yep, I said it. Come, take a seat and get cozy in the Fox Den while Mamma Kit answers some questions.

CW: Discussions of race and racism in a historical context and me being a wordy ass bitch

I've seen some discourse around Human!Alastor readers and writers and have gotten some of these questions myself over the last few months.

Firstly- I am white. I'm so fucking white that I use SPF 100 sunscreen. I grew up in Alaska. The history I learned growing up wasn't African American history; it was Alaska Native history. I didn’t learn about how we fucked over African American people in America’s early history. Instead, I learned how we fucked over the villages of the land I was raised on.

Why does this matter? The current accepted fanon for Alastor's human life is that he was a Black or mixed-race radio host who died in 1933 and reached his mid to late 30s or 40s. We know he had a successful career and was also a serial killer. He favored jazz, and rye is his drink of choice. He exists somewhere on the ace spectrum.

Time for a little math. Let's go with the middle ground—he was 40 in 1933. That means he would have been born around 1893. Let’s assume his mother was 25 when he was born. She would have been born in 1868. Using the same age for her mother, Alastor's grandmother would have been born in 1843. Remember this—it’ll matter in a minute.

For MisD and all of my human Alastor writing, as well as the works of many other human Alastor writers, we approach Alastor's life through a historical lens. I, like many others, enjoy exploring a time period rich with change—dynamic and vibrant with energy, money, and hope.

What does this mean? This means Alastor would have faced significant amounts of racism. Being Black, mixed-race, or how well he could pass as white would all drastically impact his life. It affected what opportunities he had, the education he received, and how laws were applied to him.

Ready for a history lesson? The Emancipation Proclamation was issued by President Abraham Lincoln on January 1, 1863. It declared all enslaved people in rebellious areas of the United States to be free. Alastor's grandmother—based on the ages we used earlier—would have been a 20-year-old woman at that time.

Alastor would have been raised by a first-generation free woman. He likely wouldn’t have had access to public education, instead being taught in group homeschool-like sessions by those who had learned to read and write.

If he was mixed-race, he would have faced significant discrimination from all of society.

The Civil Rights Movement in the USA didn’t begin until the mid-1950s—a full twenty years after his death.

The reality is that we don’t know a lot about the Black experience during the early to mid-1900s. Much of this history wasn’t recorded by (white) historians. Instead, it was passed down through stories from parents to children, and so on. Only now are we starting to uncover and listen to the histories, stories, and experiences of Black Americans during this time period.

Remember how I mentioned at the start that I’m white as fuck? I don’t have grandparents I can go to and ask about the Black experience when they were children. First—my grandparents are all dead, and second—they were somehow whiter than I am. Their perspective wouldn’t help me because it isn’t my family’s story to tell.

What I can do is look at what we do know, listen to the voices of Black Americans who are finally being allowed to share their stories, and reflect that in my version of human Alastor. I can spend the time to research and learn. For instance, Alastor would have been ahead of his time—the first Black radio host was in 1929, a man named Jack L. Cooper from Chicago. He hosted the first Black-produced weekly variety show and showcased Black entertainers.

I can listen to stories of how mixed-race men were afforded the privilege of their lighter skin as long as they were useful to their white employers, only to be scapegoated the second anything went wrong. I do my best to reflect these stories in Human!Alastor's experiences and behaviors.

Why A White Coded Reader? I cannot even begin to hope to understand the Black American experience as it is now, let alone how it was in 1922, when MisD is set, or in the late 1910s, when my other Human Al fics take place. What I can understand on a deeper level is the white woman's experience, the experience of poverty, the experiences of abused women, and what it’s like to view the Black experience from the outside looking in.

And so that is what I try to highlight with my Human!Alastor fics. Yes, when I’m writing a Human!Alastor fic that deals with racial, class, and social politics as one of the themes to be explored (such as MisD), the reader is coded as white. It is through a white reader that I can have conversations with Alastor about why he feels he has to be perfect, why he straightens his hair, and so on. I cannot do proper justice to these feelings on a deeper level from a Black perspective because I can’t even begin to hope to understand it.

I cannot truly understand what Alastor’s Blackness would mean to him or how he would feel about being mixed. However, I can learn and understand how it impacted his life from the outside looking in. This is what I strive to do—to shed light on what Alastor’s accomplishments would have meant and how much his mistakes would have cost him.

I would love to see more Black writers in the fanfic space, especially within the Human!Alastor space. I would also love to see fewer readers written as blank slates. The Black experience in America and other white-dominated cultures is still not spotlighted often enough, both in present-day and historical settings.

These are stories that need to be told—perspectives that need to be explored, seen, and heard. However, they are not my stories to tell. Personally, until I am far better educated on the matter, I feel it would take away from these stories and be disrespectful to the lives of the very real people who lived them if I were to write from a perspective I cannot hope to understand.

I will continue to strive to write readers as racially neutral as often as the plot allows. However, I also ask that readers respect that, when the plot deals with racial, social, and class divides in a historical setting, if the reader is coming from a place of privilege, their skin tone is often the reason for such privilege.

Of course, I encourage readers to suspend disbelief and insert themselves into the fic regardless of their personal skin tone. I write from a historical setting, but as readers, you can imagine a set of historical laws or circumstances that allow for the same dynamics without requiring a white reader.

Can I do better? Absolutely—we all can. We’re always growing, improving, and learning. I was blessed to be raised in one of the most diverse places in the country (over 45 languages were spoken fluently at my high school). However, since leaving, I’ve struggled with the realities of having that bubble burst—not that Alaska was without racism.

I always welcome respectful discussions about the themes in MisD and all of my fics, as well as the reasons things may be portrayed the way they are. I prefer to write dark content, and with that comes the opportunity to educate and shine a light on topics many people avoid discussing. I simply ask for respect in return for the respect I give.

Much love, Kit

[summerofofelia]

One more thing about The Heart Killers ep this week - Kant and Bison’s kink negotiation/trial was meant to be that bad. The show isn’t trying to portray ethical, healthy BDSM relationships and I don’t think it’s worth having discourse around whether or not it was morally right or sexually functional because the sex wasn’t actually the point.

Kant is desperate to get close to Bison in order to give the police what they want so he can have a clean slate. He realises that he can use Bison’s kink to manipulate him further and gain his trust. Bison seems reluctant at first but when he is given what he thinks is the green light, he is giddy with excitement. It’s about power and freedom and exploration for him.

And so we come to that scene. I don’t really see this as a sex scene because again, it’s not about the sex. It was never meant to be about the sex. It was an uncomfortable scene to watch because everything that could possibly go wrong was going wrong. It was a mess. Kant miscalculated Bison’s alcohol/drug tolerance levels and suddenly has to play along with a very excited but very loopy Bison who can’t see clearly (and see that Kant is not suuuuuper into it). Even though Kant wants to say “penguin”, he can’t, because he needs to keep Bison on side, he needs to keep this charade up. If he fucks up, it could be the difference between freedom for him (and his little brother) and prison.

It’s a super weird and uncomfortable scenario, yes, but I think to read it as a bad sex scene ignores the context and what lies beneath the surface of these characters’ actions and their intentions.

[taeminie]

i’m glad nobody in the heart killers is a good person so we can just leave the whole morality discourse at home

[starfallforest]

Stop putting 'Too Sweet' by Hozier in your Sylus playlists

I am sorry—this was clickbait. I don’t actually care what you do with your life. But I need you to hear me out for just a second, okay? I am extremely not neurotypical about two things: Love and Deepspace, and Andrew John Hozier-Byrne. And I have seen more than one person in the tags talk about "Too Sweet" by Hozier being a perfect song for Sylus and MC. My only discourse about this is that Too Sweet is a song about a man who makes continuous self-sabotaging life decisions being incompatible with a partner who has her life put together. In my humble opinion, both Sylus and MC are hot messes of people in completely different ways. Anyway, it’s a good song so I don’t blame you for putting it in every playlist ever. In fact, you should. But if you're into this song, I want to show you a couple more pls pls pls 🙏​

I might just be autistic, but both Hozier's music and Love and Deepspace have something extremely important in common… and that’s BEAUTIFUL MEN YEARNING!!!1 And that’s not even to mention the haunting, raw sexuality we can project onto the stories that each of these things feeds to us. That's why I needed to make this post on the 1% chance that someone might hop on this brainrot train with me. So let me present, for just a moment of your time (if you're willing): other Hozier songs that fit Sylus so well I want to combust about it.

De Selby (Parts 1 & 2):

“At last, when all of the world is asleep You take in the blackness of air The likes of a darkness so deep That God—at the start—couldn't bear.” [azlyrics] [gaelic translation]

Imagine just casually writing THE love song that so beautifully says, “Before you were in my life, I kinda understood how God felt before he created the universe.” Excuse me? Andrew just dropped this stanza on us without so much as a cw: fuck you. And if that sickening portrait of gnawing loneliness isn’t enough, we have all the Genesis God references. Since all the LIs in the game are at some point likened to gods or rivaling gods with their power, then add the reverberating instrumentals and chillingly slow vocals in this 2-minute killer, tell me how this song does not fit Sylus. Not only that, but we also have imagery of his lover descending upon him like the night (which is invoked during Part 1 in the Gaelic verse), and I know that’s on the nose for Sylus but come on. I need you guys writing smut to have an orgasm during De Selby (at least Part 2) because it might change ur brain chemistry I'm just saying.

“When you fall on me like night—I wanna kill the lights.” [azlyrics]

This song still rules irt its playing with darkness symbolism, but it also refers to the darkness in the singer’s lover—which in Sylus’ case is MC and we all were there when she shot the guy in the heart like his freaky eye was telling her: “And your heart, love, has such darkness—I feel it in the corners of the room…” my goddddddd stop right there I can’t handle the METAPHORrrr. You think Sylus gives a flying fuck about MC’s frivolous morality bullshit? No he wants her to embrace her own darkness, sit under the blankies with him and cuddle after doing crimes and a beat poetry session. This is some fucking Hannibal Lecter beyond-dark-romance shit. I’m not even trying to write a dissertation here (and yet…)

Talk (from Wasteland, Baby!):

“I'd be the sweet feeling of release mankind now dreams of, That's found in the last witness before the wave hits, marveling at God… Imagine being loved by me.” [azlyrics]

Not only does this song utilize insane Greek mythology metaphor and Biblical comparison but the overall meaning of it is, “I want you so bad, I need to speak poetically to hide how down bad I am for you.” That sounds kinda like Old World Sylus and all his pretty nicknames to me.

NFWMB:

“If I was born as a black thorn tree, I'd wanna be felled by you, held by you, Fuel the pyre of your enemies… Ain't it warming you, the world going up in flames?” [azlyrics]

This whole song just some hard, deep and steady yearning for 4 and a half minutes. Are you kidding? The acronym in the title stands for Nothing Fucks With My Baby, which is sung in the chorus like some quietly violent war chant—soft, dark, and powerful. Anyway don’t tell me Mr. Sylus “Give me a list and then go to bed. I’ll take care of it” Loveanddeepspace wouldn’t scorch the earth for the love of his life—or do one better and stand by her side while she scorches the earth herself; here’s the protective/supportive mans anthem you ordered babes.

It Will Come Back:

“I know who I am when I'm alone—I'm something else when I see you. You don't understand, you should never know How easy you are to need.” [azlyrics]

This song has repeated imagery that warns of the dangers of taking care of a feral animal, and then compares the feral animal to the singer as a lover. Like fuck off, that’s sexy and haunted. And we know that not only does Sylus love animals more than people, but he’s pretty animalistic himself if we are to believe that maybe he’s secretly a demon or something.

Arsonist’s Lullaby:

“Don't you ever tame your demons, but always keep them on a leash.” [azlyrics]

Remember in Lost Oasis when MC goes on some tangent wondering what Sylus' past was like? Well it was this song. It's about troubled youth and learning to grow in your darkness. Also how cool is that imagery of demons? Hey Sylus, what do you have to say about demons? I'll wait. In the meantime I'm tattooing this shit on my clavicle

BONUS ROUND Through Me:

“Everytime I’d burn through the world, I’d see that the world—it burns through me.”

We got a man and we got some fire allusions so there ya go.

Blood Upon the Snow:

“To all things housed in her silence, Nature offers a violence.”

Blood upon the snow—it's red and white! Red!! And white!!! Also kind of a Sylus x Zayne anthem lbr

Ok I hope you found another song that inspires you to make Sylus art or fanfic with!! And before you ask, yes I've already assigned Hozier songs to every other love interest in the game. Ok thanks for reading!!! 🏃‍♀️​💨​