#the grandma... i know her from something and idk what...
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hauntingblue · 3 months ago
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"Anne's on death's door" DO NOT SAY THAT
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espurr-roba · 3 months ago
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kairi as an ephemer descendant. is this anything.
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bootyful-seventeen · 1 year ago
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i am too mentally exhausted to even deal with this shit anymore with my mom and grandma and low key wish i'd go comatose for a few years to be left alone tbh
#had a clean up service come by to see the damage and give a quote on the estimate and my grandma wasnt having it#she got upset and started crying to them about she has only 1 daughter and is trying to help her and they're trying to tell her that keepin#all that junk isn't gonna be helping anyone especially my mom but she wasn't getting it and i said i'm not helping clean the junk that's#all around the house cuz i'm tired of it all and having to manage my emotions since i am for sure emtotionally stunted from my childhood#and have to deal with a schitzophrenic mom and an absent sister who's balls deep in denial while i'm struggling to find a job here#and my grandma always stressing me ot saying she's gonna kick me out isn't fucking helping here at all like she thinks it does#so when they left she spent all day sobbing on the phone how i'm a terrible granddaughter who wants to throw out good stuff#when i'm not gonna keep helping sell shit for my mom cuz my sister can do it as her family contribution since she did nothing since dad die#and the thing is i gave them all options on clearing shit out cuz i know this family by now and shit doesn't get tossed but it migrates#cuz i said months ago i can ask some friends if they could come down and help sort and declutter#grandma said no to that and said she'll kick me out if i do it and she didn't want to pay for my mom's shit to get moved into a storage uni#she leaves the clean up to my mom and i think the backyard got worse but she didn't call anyone to throw out the junk like she threatened t#so i call a fucking hoarders clean up service cuz that's what my family is on my mom's side at this point and the city will be called too#and she has this reaction cries all day and calls everyone to say i'm horrible and yells at me saying i'm the one killing her with stress#when she's already been doing that for months to herself when i'm just tired and possibly mildly depressed or something idk#i barely leave my room and don't go outside except to walk my dog but idk cuz my family's attittude was we don't go to doctors cuz#cuz they're for crazy people but of course it's gotta switch up for my mom and no one else and i'm just sick of it all#grandma doesn't accept free help and she won't accept help that i pay for myself with my money set aside for school so i'm done#unlike her when i say i'll do something i stick to it so i'm not doing shit anymore unless i can call a friend to help with this mess#it's gonna sound like such a horrible thing but i can't wait for my family to die so i can live in a clean home again and get help#like deep serious help cleaning and big time grief councelling cuz i barely had time to process my dad's death and being the one to find hi#and that was just this february like god i am going to need so much fucking therapy in my future it's almost rediculous#and probably say screw my mom's side and visit my dad's side a lot more since they seem to be the normal ones in this shit family tree#at least they're not stupid and leave junk everywhere where one neighbour getting sick of not being able to sit outside and enjoy their yar#without mountains of junk staring them right in the face and landing a notice from the city to clean up especially since#we have chainlink fences and at least 7 neighbours can see the backyard and everyone can see the front porch when passing by#i'm just tired of living in these suffocating households and even wanna file a report myself to kick them into gear#its horrible living like this and no one should live surrounded by junk and things they never use or even garbage
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orcelito · 3 months ago
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Actually we r at 6 months now without any major deaths in my life, which is great! That's the longest I've gone without any major deaths since last May! The second longest was 4 months between July and November last year. Wow !
#speculation nation#negative/#i mean not exactly but also. ya kno.#really i dealt with death after death in may july november and the biggest in february#actually i think my great grandma died within the span between july and november. but i wasnt close with her & dont remember when#so idk if id count that. if i did then the longest would be 3 months. between november and february.#all this is to say. wow what a Fucking year last year was huh#i still dont rly feel like i have much trust in people staying alive in my life.#but maybe im a bit less scared of even more people in my life suddenly dropping dead.#... then again now i apparently have something wrong with my liver. which i am still not happy about.#the only reason why im not dying of anxiety is bc i still feel relatively normal overall.#but i also just remembered how. well. 28 has Long been my unlucky number. and im turning 28 next year.#so ive been half convinced im just gonna die when im 28. bc thatd be just my luck wouldnt it#and like overall theres no real reason why i Would die at that age. but now theres something wrong with my liver.#and like ok i dont think it's liver failure. i dont have any real symptoms for it#and if it was an emergency my doctor wouldve told me to go to the hospital. probably.#but idk. my truest anxiety about it is that it could be something cancerous. or something.#and really i have no reason to suspect that specifically. it's just one of the potential causes for the enzyme abnormality we found#but bc it's not entirely off the table. well now my mind has latched onto it. and is like 'What If'#and ok i just now looked into possible liver diseases to try to calm my anxiety. with mixed success.#bc i found all sorts of liver diseases. including cirrhosis. which is irreversible damage.#im just clinging to the hope of the fact that my readings werent Too high... just.#every single one associated with the liver was high. which means theres Definitely something wrong with my liver.#and im kind of scared it's bc of my prior alcohol use. i wasnt an alcoholic but i did drink pretty regularly for a bit.#but also how unfair would it be for me to get a liver disease from that??? the most i ever drank at one time was 8 shots#which is a lot but there are some people doing that kind of thing Regularly. and they dont get liver disease???#regardless this has been extra persuasion to stay off the alcohol. especially until i know what's up with it.#heyyyy mr liver inside me i prommy i will take good care of u from now on. pls dont die on me 😭😭😭#see ok this is what happens whem i start to think. i get anxious. i just need to keep not thinking.#it's 10 pm i think thats a good time for sleepies
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arielluva · 5 months ago
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grief is such a weird emotion bc i can be fine most of the time even if it think about it, but then sometimes thinking about it digs it up all over again
#in regards both to my cat and my grandma though i was mostly thinking about my grandma when i wrote this#i was fine the next day after she died bc like. it was expected. she was in hospice for several months#and a nurse had been staying with her 24/7 for the last 2 days. the nurse told us it probably wouldnt be long on the last day.#we knew it was coming so i didnt feel too bad right after it happened. it was only when the mortician showed up that it sunk in#but the next day i was fine. if she got brought up in conversation id get a bit sad but i was mostly fine after that day#and its been. like. a little more than 3 months since then#i havent been thinking about it much but idk. sometimes it just pops into your head and you get reminded that she isnt here anymore#sometimes i still feel like shes still there when i walk into that room. it still partially smells the same#i turn on the light and feel like im somewhere im not supposed to be until i realize that we cleared out her stuff months ato#you wouldnt know that someone was bedridden and in hospice in there just from looking at it#but sometimes i just get that mental image of her being in there. or when she was in a nursing facility for a time and mostly normal#when we thought she was just almost septic and not nearing the end#the stupid doorbell we had her ring when she needed something that made us all jump whenever we heard a similar sound#the fact that the last blanket she ever started crocheting is still in that room and never finished#her rocking chair that has been sitting empty for probably over a year now#the haunted lamp in what used to be her bedroom pre-hospice that keeps turning on#the fact that her cars no longer in the driveway#idk. thinking about it doesnt like. actively make me cry or anything. but it is like. a lurking feeling#like ive been aware and fine with the fact that shes gone. and has been gone#but sometimes i really... remember that shes gone#i still forget that its like. a permanent thing and that shes not just in the hospital again#i wouldnt say i feel too much grief about her dying. i feel more about my cat that died 8 years ago.#but it is a weird feeling to recognize. maybe i only felt sadder about my cat bc (to me) it was unexpected#idk.
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minglana · 8 months ago
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so crazy seeing my cousins post aesthetic pics of my village street. maam thats a rundown house with the roof caved in next to the ugliest house in the village
#and the street pavement is green bc no one cleans it so its full of like algae or whatever the fuck#bc of the winter humidity (and fog). like thats ugly as hell😭#thr comparison between my cousins and i is crazy in regards to how we approach the village#all my other cousins post or have posted aesthetic pics of random streets or like. roads#bc i think to them its just another village. like yeah their grandma/grandpa is from there#but i think that just spending the holidays here (instead of like. staying 3+ months in the summer and normal weekends)#has made them treat the village as just another place. idk what even im trying to say but#it just feels kinda disgenuine when they aesthetize (?) the village like that#like for example my friend who has LIVED in the village her entire life doesnt post stuff like that#she posts stuff from her house or something. but not of like random streets yknow. and if she posts something from the street#its bc something else is the focus. and shes not just using it as a pretty backdrop or whatever#ok that last tag is what i was trying to get at i just didnt know how to word it#and yeah i think the more time youve lived or spent in the village the less you make it into a pretty backdrop#ive even seen my (other) cousins mom do this. and yeah shes older but also the house they have is just a vacation house#in comparison to for example my family. where our house has always been lived in (so far) so i think it just felt...#(it=going to the village) less like a 'getaway' and more as just like. changing living locations for x time yknow#idk idk. maybe its just my weird perception of my village and the weird attatchment i have to it#but yeah#z xarre
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kavehater · 1 month ago
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I’m a descendant of the prophet (kind of) and all I have to show for it is my obsession with an anime blond guy …
#my mums grandma is a descendant of the prophet and like altho#technically I’m not counted as one it’s cool to know like I still have his genes and stuff lol even though I’m not like idk how you say it ?#pure blood ? LMAO THAT SOUNDS HORRIBLE BUT YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN RIGHT ?#coping with the fact my life is trash with the understanding that the prophet suffered so my suffering makes me like him it’s in our dna or#something… anyways ! isn’t that so cool !#like my dad did a dna test ages ago I forgot what he got but he’s yemeni originally like so many generations ago#but the dna test said a lot of places I might be tripping but I think it said Egypt too ?#for my mum she didn’t do a dna test but since her grandma is related to the prophet then she’s from Saudi originally many generations ago#when people aren’t telling me I look like I come from nowhere in particular in the world or fifty shades of Anglo Saxon European white or#Lebanese or Afghan or whatever the case may be … I also recently got told I look like I’m from Saudi#bro it’s every nation except Iraq I’m quite literally full blooded Iraqi bro 😭 where is everyone getting white from#dora daily#I’m not that basic am I 💔#now if I had inherited my mums genes for being blonde and blue eyed then I’d be like ok yeah I can see why you think I’m white#BUT IM NOT BLONDE NOR DO I HAVE COLOURED EYES LOLLL my mums genes didn’t come in clutch 🙁 I have brown almost black hair and semi light-ish#brown eyes that’s it LOL#it’s ok Kaveh can help me revive the generation of blonde children#/J OMG SORRY AGAIN 😭 these jokes are actually hilarious I sincerely apologise tho
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malachitezmeyka · 3 months ago
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Last thing I expected to do today was spend 10 minutes arguing with my grandma over a cat that's been dead for nearly a decade and yet here we are
#I'm sorry but if the woman who took her in after we moved is saying that she spent ages treating her for chronic bronchitis#after you and mom decided to keep her on the balcony in all kinds of weather instead of looking after the kids#and making sure they don't provoce the cat not eat out of her bowl#then I'm sure as fuck gonna believe that over your assurances that a cat spending winters on an unheated balcony is fine. actually#'oh please what does Marina know??'#um. EVERYTHING??? again she's the one who treated the poor thing and managed her alive for another 4-5 years#I'm taking her word over someone who never gave a damn about animals. thank you very much#this is such a sore topic for me apparently. animal cruelty at its finest and it seems like no one cares#they all just think that my auntie is trying to make them look bad and it's actually her fault the cat was sick#this family is so fucking infuriating#stormcloud I am so so sorry. you deserved so much better than being adopted into this fucking family#at least Marina loved her. she and my uncle may not be saints but they are a step above my mom and grandma in my eyes#if for no other reason than them treating Stormcloud with some basic human decency#no idea where this rant came from. but I can't voice it to anyone else so I'm putting it here#I feel like I should write a poem or something#I've never done anything of the sort but apparently there are some unprocessed feelings here that I should probably work through#idk. we'll see. I have to make it home from grandma's first
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itslikejawsbutworse · 5 months ago
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This is just a random venting post but I love how I was able to perceive the difference between my maternal and paternal families respect for one another, and in turn what it meant to TRULY love someone.
My dads side of the family was very toxic with one another, my grandfather hid a secret child (who they left in their home country when they immigrated((don’t worry we came into contact with him about 40 years later and they are wonderful people))) and my grandmother (who I truly loved but was never extremely close too) had some toxic hangups when it came to giving and/or expressing her love for us (for example hating and belittling my mom and not showing any interest or care, honestly straight up ignoring, my baby brother while showering me in gifts that, admittedly, were never in the realm of things I would use/like ex. Diamond earrings or extremely frilly dresses((I have no peircings and was extremely tomboy-ish)), my dads sister I have met maybe 3 times in my life and could barely tell you anything about her.
Compared to my maternal family it’s honestly impressive that I have never once had any questions about what it meant to be cherished and loved. My grandparents on my moms side doted on me and my brother, and all of our cousins equally, we all have personalized nicknames that we call them by (papa and hammer, when I was a baby I couldn’t say gramma so I said “g…hammer” and that’s been her name ever since lmao) and are called by them (I’m cricket… honestly love it even though it’s a bit silly). We spend every major and minor holiday with them, my mom and her sister in law (my aunt who aka is my favourite family memebr) helped raise each others children and helped overcome the loss of my uncle and baby cousin. I can’t stress enough how impactful it was to know that my mom and my aunt banded together to help take care of my aunts two young girls in the face of this loss, only for my aunt to turn around and help my mom raise me and my brother! For gods sake, I was almost born in the back of my aunts brand new sports car because the doctors didn’t believe my mom was in labour, I was very very premature, but my aunt insisted she drive her to the hospital (that’s why my middle name is her name haha) and I am very excited to have a hand in raising my cousins baby girls! We all have family reunions every five or so years and the 80+ of us will all gather and exchange birthday gifts and catch up on each others lives.
I just think that’s it’s beautiful that you can form a bond so strong with people who don’t live near you or that you rarely see, because that’s the real meaning of family. It’s not the people you have blood ties too but it’s the people you care about who step up and support you in the toughest or times.
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the-acid-pear · 6 months ago
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Yesterday I had 3 thoughts but I was like I'll remember tomorrow I won't wake up to type them now and I forgot two BUT I remembered one of them so that's huge
#luly talks#something w Lucis and Dee. I'll draw it later#it's very important to have two ocs for the same franchise so they can do things the other can't#girls who died as kids but are now on their 20s...#i did think a lot about lucis biology and i remember joking about them only being a demon bc they're argentinian#though that's a bit silly ambiguous bc like. sure in their comic everyone is a monster but like#they're also more psychotic than me so there was a thought of them being actually just human and seeing everyone like this bc bleeh!#lucis story really is one of neglect isn't it#i mean same one i faced but worse#bc lucis got too silly w it#i also thought a bit about their biology i think I'm gonna implement the angel demon thing with their grandma being a form of angelic being#but (bio) grandpa a demon#hence why their dad and them are one too#and well something that is STILL canon is that their mom is a clown but clowns are a kind of imp#so that's why their little brother is impish#idk what their step dad would be but i know their older brother would be part ram bc. its funny#he's an aries you see.#but i didnt just think of lucis in general i had had thoughts about dsaf i forgor 😢#aside from this one 👍#i mean i remember L.L. having a breakdown too but WHEN arent they not having one?#something about midori but i remember that too well to be one of the forgotten memories#like i vaguely recall something w the phoneys either harry or pete but nothing coherent#i do remember i y#thought of drawing jake w high heels pussy puss puss style but i think that was something i thought in the afternoon#you people can't imagine how many thoughts per second i experience y'all literally get such a mostly sanitized version of it#I'd make a chart of Lucis' relationships w her coworkers tho........ i rlly like Lucis lmao#OH SHIT I REMEMBERED I THOUGHT OF MIDORI AND DTRAP INTERACTING id think of that further there's something there ok#<- related to l.l. of course. her daughter etc.
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gender-euphowrya · 7 months ago
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the way my grandma tries to shove her irrational fears on me and then guilt-trips me when i don't indulge her
#no grandma your tv won't explode if you turn it on during a storm#yes ''well if i die then it's your fault'' sure whatever this doesn't matter because you won't die from turning on a fucking tv#i'm out here using a computer that's using far more electricity than your tv#without using your tv YOUR home is using up tons of electricity either way. you have a fridge a heating system a stove a router a microwave#we live near a building equipped with a lightning rod Specifically In Place so you & i can be safe during storms#every single time you have ever had a fear of something blowing up in your face killing you instantly. well.#i can't say it ever happened considering i'm still talking to you right now#i will not play along and pretend to be scared with you. i'm not. you shouldn't be. turn your tv on.#you're calling me specifically because you want to know if it's safe to use your tv right now#i'm telling you Yes It Is. did you ever intend to listen to me or were you just looking for validation ?#did you only call so i could tell you your tv's a ticking bomb just waiting for you to hit the on button to zap you into a pile of dust ?#why call me to ask if you only want confirmation of what you already believe and won't accept any statement that denies it ?#you're not gonna die from using a fucking television. nobody ever has.#like... ugh of Course she's allowed to be scared plenty of people are scared of stormy weather#but why does she expect me to tell her GEE YES GRANGRANS THE TV'S GONNA 9/11 YOU IF YOU EVEN LOOK AT THE REMOTE AAAAAA#no. i'm telling you it's safe. i've told you it's safe multiple times. if you don't trust me idk what to tell you lol#ITS NOT EVEN THAT STORMY IT'S LIKE DRIZZLING OUTSIDE THATS ALL
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johndonneswife · 7 months ago
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are you and Ayesha planning on having kids? 🥺
nope never ever!
#my opinions on children are too much for tumblr to handle but yeah. don’t want them#have never wanted them#will never want them#the thought of being a mother makes me feel so panicked and sick and depressed#idk i’m the type of person who can’t be held too tightly without freaking out. i need space and i need to be able to do what i want#whenever i want to#ayesha grew up in poverty in pakistan like. eating paper when you’re hungry type of poverty. and i grew up poor / working class in america#and like. idk. i have strong opinions on that too but i won’t get into it here. we’ve just seen too much shit to ever want kids of our own#anyway the thought of having that kind of connection with another human being is terrifying and i don’t want it. my relationship with ayesha#is a choice that we both make#i can leave for work trips at any time without having to worry about her. i can go out. i can go camping. i can make last minute plans. etc#also i just don’t like them enough to have them!! i like playing with my friend’s babies for a few hours#and then giving them back like that’s truly enough for me#being a parent sounds awful. i wish more people would accept that they’re just having kids for the wrong reasons#just bc it’s something to do/you’re expected to have them#i’m also a millennial who can’t afford a house in any of the big cities i want to live in#i’d want to send my kids to private school. sorry but like. i’d want to give them everything i didn’t have and give them whatever edge i can#also school shootings and climate change and child predators. fucking TIKTOK. i can’t#ANYWAY sorry i don’t know when to shut up but like no. i don’t want children 😭#i don’t like them or enjoy being around them and i don’t want to sacrifice my time money autonomy for a child i don’t even want lmfao#i wonder if this is my grandma sending me this ask from beyond the grave#*** I DONT HATE CHILDREN *** i’m excited to have our future nieces and nephews visit and do fun stuff with them and teach them anarchy \m/#aish obviously feels the same about all of this and we’ve felt this way since we met#which is also why i knew i’d be w her forever 🥰
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maxverstappendefender · 2 months ago
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ain't no love in oklahoma // op81 smau
description: twisters actress!reader x op81 but lando is convinced oscar is lying (from request)
a/n: sorry for being completely inactive. life happened and it didn't happen in a good way! i have a huge exam coming up soon so i will most likely still be inactive besides maybe a few short things here and there. anyways first oscar fic so enjoy! all pics found on pinterest, i don't own any
a/n pt2: might do something fun for each day in october but im not sure what so send me some ideas. also might do some more headcannons/blurbs soon here!
requests: closed but feel free to send me some messages since i love talking to you guys
masterlist
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liked by oscarpiastri, glenpowell, and 2,927,641 others
youruser: go see twisters!! if you don’t, you suck and you better hope you don’t get stuck in a tornado because there’s useful information in our movie
tagged: glenpowell
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oscarpiastri: proud of you!!
↳ youruser: 🧡
glenpowell: caption is so real of you
user1: doesn’t yn have a boyfriend? why is she so close to glen?
↳ user2: yes but probably because there’s limited space. yn isn’t like that
↳ oscarpiastri: exactly what user2 said
landonorris: cute!
↳ user3: what are you doing here??
↳ user4: lando in the comments?
user5: such a good movie
user6: yn + glen = power duo
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liked by youruser, landonorris, and 3,951,750 others
oscarpiastri: proud boyfriend award goes to me 🏆 thx for all the bts selfies
tagged: youruser, glenpowell
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landonorris: i just laughed out loud
landonorris: “boyfriend” lmaooo
↳ user7: i cant tell if he’s joking or serious
user8: cutest couple ever
glenpowell: aww so glad you remembered the time you took me to the aquarium, what a romantic!
↳ youruser: get your own boyfriend capybara
↳ user9: yn CLOCKED him
// lando’s phone//
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//
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liked by mclaren, oscarpiastri, and 4,027,835 others
landonorris: POLE BABYYYY!!! everyone ignore my teammates instagram posts, i have told him to stop. i think he took a hit to the head or something
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oscarpiastri: do you want to go to the farm or not?
↳ landonorris: you already said i could go so no take backs
↳ user10: lando is going to yn's farm??
↳ user11: LANDO'S MEETING YN?!
↳ user12: oh i know he's going to fangirl so hard
user13: get me someone who looks at me the way oscar looks at lando
↳ user14: are we sure that they aren't the ones dating?
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youruser: back home finally! pic 1: yeehaw. pic 2: my cat cora had her babies!!! pic 3: dinner date :)
tagged: oscarpiastri
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user15: CORA HAD HER KITTIES
↳ youruser: i am officially a grandma. i feel the gray hairs coming in now
user16: oscar and yn are endgame
oscarpiastri: the best company
↳ landonorris: STOP, idk how you got her in on this joke either
↳ user16: i can't tell if lando knows they are actually dating and is joking or if he truly does not believe oscar
user17: boyfriend is back on the feed!
↳ user18: farmer yn is back on the feed!
glenpowell: miss you lady
↳ youruser: you miss my animals more
↳ glenpowell: and what about it.
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landonorris: OMG HE WASN'T LYING i got to feed so many animals, got to channel my inner cowboy, AND get drunk with the yn? i can die a happy man
tagged: youruser
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oscarpiastri: believe me now?
↳ landonorris: never doubted you
↳ user19: lando seriously didn't believe oscar lol
↳ user20: i fully thought he was joking the entire time
user21: how hard did you fangirl to meet yn, lando?
↳ landonorris: surprised i didn't pass out honestly. i facetimed GLEN POWELL
youruser: so glad you had a fun time!!
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oscarpiastri: everyone clear that this is my girlfriend?
tagged: youruser
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user22: sassy oscar
↳ user23: channeling his inner lando
landonorris: yes sir 🫡
↳ oscarpiastri: stop being weird ?
youruser: MY MANNNNN
↳ user24: oh she's in deep
user25: there is one thing oscar doesn't play about in life: yn
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youruser: didn't even know there was confusion that this was my boyfriend lol
tagged: oscarpiastri
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landonorris: how was i meant to know?!
↳ user26: literally how everyone else knew, instagram.
glenpowell: yn stop posting pics of me and my boyfriend and acting like he's yours
↳ youruser: i dont like this joke.
↳ oscarpiastri: bromance or whatever
↳ user27: they're in a throuple
↳ youruser: ew
↳ glenpowell: disgusting
↳ oscarpiastri: huhhh
user28: couple goals forever and ever
user29: if they don't get married... love isn't real
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miss-oranje-disco-dancer · 4 months ago
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the handyman
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pairing: neighbor! joel miller x f! reader
cws/tags: pure smut, DADDY KINK, oral m & f receiving, p in v (unprotected), an abundance of pet names, reader is under 21 but over 18 (for the plot), reader is kinda stupid, big dick joel, not beta read
summary: pwp honestly. basically a porn plot? idk joel comes over to reader's grandma's house to fix the smoke detector (which she broke) and he teaches her how to be a good girl.
a/n: don't ask why reader lives with her grandma, originally this was going to be longer and it was going to be more relevant
join my taglist!
wc: 2k
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You open the front door to and see an unfamiliar man standing at your doorstep – 40 something, jeans and a t-shirt, progressively more handsome the longer you look at him. You size him up, trying to decide what his intentions are.
“Whatever it is you’re selling – I don’t wanna buy it," you say.
He opens his mouth, but you continue before he can say anything. “I don’t even live here anyway, and before you ask she’s not home, so you can’t talk to her.”
“I ain’t here to sell you shit.”
“Well, I don’t wanna sign anything either.”
“Good. ‘Cause I don’t want you to.”
“Then why are you here? I don’t have a lot of time before One Tree Hill comes back on, so make it quick.”
“I’m Joel. I live down the street. I’m here to fix your smoke detector.”
“Oh, in that case, come on in,” you say, changing your demeanor entirely as you realize that you really need to get in this man’s good graces.
“So, you’re ‘handyman’ grandma’s been talking about?” you ask, as you lead him to the kitchen.
“She’s been talking about me?”
“Yeah. She talks about you like you’re her boyfriend.”
“Oh yeah? What’d she say?”
“I dunno. I wasn’t really listening. I thought it might just be some dementia-induced delusion.”
“Well, she’s told me quite a bit about you.”
“Good things?”
“Better than the things she says about all of your other family members.”
“You know what they say, ‘if you don’t want people to talk badly about you, then you shouldn’t ruin Christmas.’”
“Uh-huh,” he says, only half-listening as he approaches the scene of the crime - a broken smoke detector, now just wires and plastic, lays on the kitchen counter. He studies it for a minute, furrowing his brows. “Jesus Christ. What happened?”
“It just fell off the wall.” You shrug, acting nonchalant and hoping he doesn't notice your shifty eyes from across the kitchen.
“No way,” he says – not with curious incredulity, but knowing disapproval.
He turns to you and crosses his arms over his chest, and engages you in a short staring contest.
“What?” you ask, feigning innocence.
Joel swipes the dish rag from the countertop and reveals the evidence you’d hidden under it like he's performing a magic trick.
He holds up the hammer, displaying it to you. He looks mostly disappointed in you - in an oddly paternal way, but also slightly amused, likely by how poorly you’d conducted this whole covert operation of yours. “Why’d you break it?”
“I didn’t break it.”
“Kid, I’m not an idiot. Just fess up, so we can fix it and move on.”
“Are you gonna tell on me?”
“You afraid of your meemaw’s wrath?” he teases.
“I don’t want her to be disappointed in me.”
“Should she be?”
“I didn’t mean to break it. I just wanted it to stop beeping.”
“It’s supposed to beep.”
You give him a pathetic pout that you hope works. It doesn’t. It only makes his gaze harden.
“I’m sorry. It was just one cigarette, and I really, really didn’t want to get in trouble… so when it went off, I panicked and hit it with the hammer.”
He shakes his head and sighs. “You’re a piece of work, kid. Making me come out here on my lunch break-”
“-I’m sorry," you interrupt, "I won’t do it again, so just please, please don’t tell on me.”
“Why shouldn’t I?”
“I could offer you something… something to show my infinite remorse for my actions and my infinite gratitude to you for fixing the mess I made.”
He raises his eyebrows. “Okay. What’s your offer?”
His smirk makes you think you’re on the same page so you get down on your knees in front of him, but when you look up into his eyes, what stares back at you is complete bewilderment.
“Get up,” he says, offering you his hand.
“I thought…”
“I don’t think you were thinking,” he says condescendingly.
“You’ve gotta learn to listen to the thoughts up here,” he says, tapping you on your temple. “Not the ones down here.” His finger brushes against your clit.
The way he speaks to you only makes it worse, the throbbing, aching feeling between your legs. You can’t find a single thing to say that isn’t ‘please’ followed by some utterly depraved suggestion.
Joel turns back to his work, somehow unfazed by the interaction.
“Normally, I’d think this sounds a bit too chauvinistic to ask, but since you owe me, can you get me a beer from the garage?”
Oh fuck. Three strikes, you’re out.
“We don’t have any beer.”
“You sure about that? I just put a six pack in there last week.”
“Maybe my grandma drank them already…”
“Your grandmother said that Budweiser tastes like cat piss.”
“It does.”
“Yeah? And how would you know that? I thought you weren’t 21 yet. Who’s buying you alcohol?”
“I didn’t know they were yours.”
“Uh-huh, but I bet your grandma would’ve told you they were if you’d asked her. But she doesn’t know about your ‘habits’, does she?”
“No,” you admit weakly.
“Come here.”
You step towards him, and wait for him to give you an earful or to threaten to reveal your secrets.
“I’m reconsidering your little offer.”
Your face lights up at the opportunity to make things right, to expunge this from your record.
“So if I did that, we’d be cool, right?”
“Depends on how good you are, darlin’.”
For a second time that afternoon, you sink to your knees, but this time, Joel gives you the go-ahead. You try to balance the coyness you’ve seen women in the movies demonstrate with the eagerness you feel inside as you undo his belt.
With his jeans halfway down his legs, you place your palm over the bulge in his boxers and feel him twitch at your touch. When his cock is finally released from its confines, you try not to be too intimidated. Your confidence is falling but your arousal only rises.
You begin by wrapping your hand around him and stroking his length, setting a steady pace. Then, you tease the tip with kitten licks and hear his breath hitch when you flick your tongue across his slit.
There’s no way you can take him all the way down your throat – you’d probably bruise your esophagus. Still, you try, sputtering and letting saliva drip down your chin. You can’t help but feel a bit proud of yourself when he has to put his hand on the counter to steady himself.
“Hold on, sweetheart,” he says through heavy breaths.
You pull away, upset at what you perceive to be a failure. “You didn’t cum…”
“I almost did, baby girl, but I don’t want to yet.”
You feel a bit pathetic imagining how you must look from his perspective, with your teary eyes, begging him to let you go on.
“You wanna give me a good apology, right?” He nods slowly, looking into your eyes, prompting you to do the same.
“Then, I want you to come sit on the couch with me.”
He takes your hand and walks you to the living room, patronizing since the two rooms are connected. When Joel sits down on the couch, he pulls you into his lap.
“I was thinkin’ about what I said before – how you’re not using your head. You could be such a smart girl – a good girl - if only you could think with your brain. You just need a little bit of help.”
You can feel his hard cock poking through his boxers and rubbing against your pussy. It’s hard to resist the urge to roll your hips, just to get a bit of friction, a bit of relief.
His hand finds its way between your legs and he asks, “What’s gonna happen if I put my hand in your panties right now, baby? Are you gonna be wet?”
While you try to form a response that doesn’t make you sound too desperate, his fingers toy with your waistband. “Remember, baby, good girls are honest,” he whispers into the shell of your ear.
“Yeah, I am… wet.”
“For me?” His hand meets your bare skin and finds that you are, indeed, dripping wet. “Did I do this to you?”
“Uh-huh.” You arch into his touch, shamelessly using his fingers for your own pleasure.
“If you want more, you have to be a good girl.”
With the promise of a reward, you follow his implied instructions and still your hips.
“I’ll be good. I promise.”
He takes your word for it and begins rubbing circles on your clit. You could cum from that alone but he slips a finger inside you, curling it upward to meet that special spot.
Joel expects a response from you, but not the one he gets.
A single word: “Daddy…”
“Oh, baby. I get it now. Been needin’ daddy to take care of you.”
He’s right. You do need this. He can take care of you, you can be good for him. When he fucks you with his fingers, you swear you could fall in love with him.
But when he takes them away, you cry.
“Shh… It’s okay,” he says, wiping the tears from your cheeks. “I wanna do something else. It’s gonna make you feel even better.”
Before you have a chance to think, your panties are on the floor and his head is between your thighs. You can feel his breath on your clit when he speaks. “I want you to be a good girl and cum on my face – can you do that?”
“Yes, daddy.” The word leaves your mouth more naturally than it probably should, it's almost instinctual.
Joel wastes no more time talking, knowing his tongue can convey much more when it runs along your folds, and his lips can elicit a better response when they suck lightly on your clit.
The only thing you have for him is moans accompanied by breathless chanting of ��daddy, daddy, daddy.”
He hums into your core, an affirmative, a reminder that you are a good girl. You can do this.
You can cum for him. You will cum for him – there is nothing that can stop the euphoria that rushes through you. It’s the kind that makes your legs shake and your eyes roll back into your head.
Joel was right – the orgasm clears your mind. But the realization that the situation you’ve ended up in – naked on your grandmother’s couch with her middle-aged neighbor who is supposed to be fixing your mistake, not helping you make another - is a precarious one. Being a smart girl seems to be a double edged sword.
Euphemistically, speaking.
In truth, it’s Joel’s cock that’s fully-sheathed inside you. Pain and pleasure mix as he thrusts in and out of you. You swear he might split you open, but even if he quite literally tore you to pieces, you'd die happily.
“You’re takin’ it so well,” he tells you, “knew you’d be a good girl.”
And maybe it’s the praise, or maybe it’s his thumb on your clit, but you’re rapidly approaching a second orgasm. All you can do is hold onto Joel, dragging your nails down his back. He bites your neck in response, and hopefully he doesn’t intend for it be a deterrent, because it only serves to heighten your pleasure.
He slows his pace, but his hips slam into yours harder, filling the air with the sound of skin slapping against skin in a steady rhythm.
“Whose pussy is this?”
You can’t breathe when the weight of his cock knocks the wind out of you, so he stops, allowing you to answer.
“Yours, daddy!”
His lips on yours are your cue to cum – or so you hope because it happens regardless of your will.
He has the sense to pull out and let his release spill onto your stomach.
You sigh, relaxing into the couch. “I need a cigarette,” you say.
“Did you not learn anything from today?”
“Mm-mm,” you say grinning dumbly.
Caught up in a daze – absolutely enraptured by his need to have you – he made the mistake of fucking you stupid.
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thecherrygod · 2 years ago
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im thinking about my great aunt, who was basically the only family member from my moms side that we really knew. i remember her being kind but like. i was a little kid, if every time i went to visit you youd give me candy, or a toy, or a candy that came with a toy, id think you were a wonderful person
but im not exactly thinking about that, but what i think was the last time i saw her. like im. unsure if im remembering it right. i dont even remember how old i was, maybe a 5 or 6 year old.
it.. felt like a party of sorts, in her apartment. a lot of people i didnt know so i stuck to my mom. i. dont even remember my brothers or my dad being there i just remember being right next to my mom, and my great aunt was in bed i think, i dont know if she simply couldnt get up or what. but i also remember she gave me a... flower? or something like that. she had sculpted it before giving it to me, and the clay, or whatever the material was, was raw.
and i just. remember walking around the apartment. seeing an amount of people i didnt know, in my memory everyone was having a good time? and everyone was dressed sorta like for a party
..... also i think i managed to spend most of the party with the clay flower as a flower but at some point i sorta started playing with it bc i loved doughs and stuff a lot and i couldnt get myself, and i think i got a bit disappointed i couldnt turn it back into a flower
i cant remember if i managed to ask her to make it into a flower again or not, in fact i cant remember if i saw her again that night before leaving
#my posts#i... i guess i did see her once more that night. to say goodbye. but that not in my memories of that day so idk#........ maybe it was a party. maybe it was in fact her last birthday. but... i dont know#... i dont even know her name lmao of course i cant tell if that was her birthday or not#......... shes the only extended family member i ever met i think#apparently i have some.. second cousins from my dads side who lived near from before we moved#... one of my brothers and i only learned that last month#also apparently my dad is on bad terms with them so thats probably why#maybe thats for the best i dont want more of my dads side of the family. us is more than enough suighud#once. once we were on vacation on another city. my grandma was like hey my brothers there can we visit him?#we get there. i dont remember anyone other than my dad and grandma getting out of the car to greet them#....... what the fuck is wrong with this family man.#also i dont have great memories from my moms parents and she was on bad terms with them too tbh#i have better memories of my great aunt and she died before them. man#... idk if great aunt is the right term#we basically called her something between grandma and aunt. but maybe thats what great aunt means idk#anyways... yeah.#.... having thoughts about family i guess#... is it bc today all of the people we consider the full family had lunch together is that it#yeah no i have weird feelings about family in general. i was just.. thinking about that one day#which i will continue to wonder about i think actually but its whatever i guess#..... sigh. anyways#gonna pretend im not thinking about this
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earlysunshines · 3 months ago
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punches to the heart
pham hanni x fem!reader ; angst, fluff
synopsis: hanni watches you beat up her friend, you two get off on the wrong foot, and it's safe to say hanni basically hates you -- the feeling is mutual. what makes it worse is the fact that you two are bound to run into each other time and time again.
warnings: boxer!reader ; hanni is a nursing student who’s fighting lowk (kinda) ; blood ; violence ; pining ; reader is pretty traumatized ummm ; #enemies to lovers (sorta) ; alcohol ; making out ; anything else not mentioned ; not proofread
a/n: ummm I don’t really box lmfao or at least I haven’t done it professionally soooo sorry to any boxers reading this bc there might be mistakes or incorrect terms idk anyways ENJOY!! ^_^ also ignore the fact that yn works at a restaurant in this too LOL half of this fic was from MONTHS ago but i never continued it...
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you’re freshly thirteen, your knees still sting and blood continues to flow out of the scrapes from being pushed onto the ground by two prepubescent boys earlier in the day, but you dab at it a couple of times with spare napkins in your bag to prevent any more crimson liquid from seeping out.
the door opens and you find your grandma knitting something on the couch, she’s also watching something on the tv. the quality of the video playing on the screen is pretty rough, but you can make out a familiar face: your late grandpa. grandpa was grandma’s everything and from what you’ve heard: he’s a sweet, memorable soul. a smile spreads across your face as you watch your grandma continue to knit. a few seconds later you’re trying to sneakily run to the bathroom to clean up the mess on your legs.
“y/n? is that you?” she calls out softly, turning in your direction. usually, she’d be at the little bakery she worked at, but she wasn’t, so you assumed she had worked the morning and lunch shifts. she looks down at your red knees and her eyes widen. “oh! sweetheart, what happened?” 
she drops whatever she’d been knitting down on the cushion and rushes over to you, cupping your face and then kneeling to meet your injuries. her eyebrows crease and she frowns, worry is painted all over her face.
“i bumped into someone and tripped on the curb.” you lie, knowing you had heard snarky remarks in between voice cracks from some idiots beforehand.
“what did i say about lying?” your grandma sighs, rubbing the area around one of the scrapes and sighing. “did those boys give you a hard time again?”
“i—” you start, but she looks at you and raises her brows, making your second lie die in your throat immediately. you gulp and avoid eye contact. “well i got pushed and i’m not lying about tripping on the curb. i got unlucky.”
grandma clicks her tongue twice and shakes her head, then grabs your hand and leads you to the small bathroom of your little apartment. 
she closes the lid of the toilet and urges you to sit down on it. while you situate yourself, she finds a little first-aid kit in the cabinet and a few sanitizing wipes. you gulp, already uneasy about the pain that you’ll feel in the next minute.
your grandma chuckles in that raspy, cliché old lady tone when she sees your clenched jaw and fingers digging in your knee anxiously. she sighs and kneels down to meet your level, then says, “it’ll hurt a little, be strong for me.” 
“i’m not scared.”
“sure you’re not hon. it’s going to sting a lot, but it’ll pass by in no time, ‘kay?” she says, taking out an alcohol wipe and holding it above the scrape on your left knee. she holds your right hand and smiles sweetly—it calms you down in no time. “i’m going to clean it, be strong.” she says, then begins to wipe away the bacteria from the wound.
you close your eyes tightly at the stinging sensation, it hurts a lot and tears well up despite your eyes being shut. grandma squeezes your hand tightly then throws the wipe away.
“there you go, one knee done.” she says, “you’re strong like your grandpa, you know?”
your brows relax and you look at her, tilting your head. “i—, i am?”
“he boxed until he was 42, you were around the age of 4 then.” she explains, smiling as she reminisces. she grabs another wipe and tightens her grip on your hand again before you feel that same pain again, and continues, “he had a lot of injuries like these ones. i took care of him like this.”
through clenched teeth you respond, “he got hurt worse than this?”
“five times worse.” grandma shivers, “blood from his lips, mostly bruises on him though. i stitched him up once and i almost threw up.” she says, cringing when she recalls this memory. “he got cut up a couple of times and complained and groaned much more than you, actually. he got in a lot of fights, but he promised that he’d get into fewer fights when we had to take care of you.”
“oh, were you okay with taking care of him so much? it must’ve been tiring to always do that for him.”
grandma’s expression softens and she smiles. “when you love someone, taking care of them is never a problem. i love you y/n, and your grandpa; taking care of you two is nothing of a problem. maybe it’s rotten work for some people, but for the people i love? never.”
her sweet smile makes your own lips curl up and she pats your leg softly before finding bandages. as she patches you up, her words linger in your mind and heart.
“you know y/n, i won’t be here forever.” she starts, standing back up to put the kit away. “when you grow older i want you to find someone who will take care of you like that, and it’s your job to take care of them too.”
“i can take care of you when i’m older.” you say it like a promise and she shakes her head.
“i don’t want you to worry about my old soul for the majority of your life. i’m talking about a friend, or maybe more. whoever it is, care for them endlessly.”
you nod. 
she smiles once more and chuckles, “come on, let’s go watch one of your grandpa’s fights—i was watching some of it before you got here.”
you follow her out the bathroom and turn off the light, then you two head back to the living room. she sits down on the couch and urges you to squeeze in with her as she picks up her needles and yarn. you sit beside her and she presses a button on the remote, which starts the video back up again.
as you watch, you recognize the familiar figure on the screen jump around on his feet. he holds his arms up and clenches his fists in the boxing gloves, shooting the opponent a nasty glare through the small space in between.
“your grandpa was a great boxer, he spent a lot of time devoted to the sport.” grandma explains.
you hum and ask, “why did he box? doesn’t it hurt?”
“well, he did it to protect himself and make some money for us back when times were rougher, way before you were born. he was passionate about it.”
“that’s cool.” you say in awe. your grandma laughs softly before starting to knit again.
you watch your grandpa dodge a few punches and a swing from the side quickly, he’s fast and your 13-year-old mind is absolutely bewildered by his athletic ability. the opponent throws another punch, which he dodges, then sends a nasty hit to the side of the other boxer’s torso. the opponent stumbles back and falls to his knees, then bends down while he tries to recover. it takes a bit for the other guy to get up, and when he does get up—he stumbles back down.
“i want to be like grandpa, can i learn to box?”
your grandma laughs and grins at you. “you know what—sure y/n, you’re a lot like him after all. besides, you need to defend yourself from whoever pushed you.”
“oh yeah, i punched him in the face.”
“you what?” your grandma asks, shocked by your reply. you shrug and keep your eyes on the screen: your grandpa had won after a hit to the guy's cheek, and now the camera is on his sweaty, smiling self. 
“he pushed me and i punched him, but that’s because he said something really bad…”
“y/n,” grandma starts, but stops after she takes another good look at you and her late lover on the screen. a small breath leaves her lips, then she shakes her head. “you two are practically the same, huh.”
the rest of the night your grandma shares anecdotes of her time with your grandpa, it ranges from a variety of silly stories: your grandpa’s first fight, how they fell in love (and this story elicited a slight face of disgust from you, a playful one of course. you couldn’t deny that it was cute, but you were also 13 and icky about a lot of romantic things), grandpa’s fights out of the ring, and their most memorable moments with you. 
you find out that a lot of your traits are rooted from your grandpa, you were pretty satisfied with that.
-
years pass, you’re not stuck in that shithole called middle school; instead, you’re a junior in high school—still in a shithole, but a little better—yuck.
you’re already pretty sick of high school, freshman year wasn’t the best for you after realizing you liked girls; well, it was alright until your first heartbreak or whatever. 
it was cliché: you made a good friend, she was sweet and friendly, and then you realized that your heartbeat would pace at an unhealthy speed around her. the two of you get into a relationship and it eventually fails, your heart breaks and blah blah blah it’s a universal experience. you managed to get over this heartbreak after a year. besides, you can’t be stuck on one failed relationship for the entirety of high school, that’s a fool’s biggest mistake. 
and you’re not a fool.
grandma get’s sick sophomore year, and grandma is all that you have. it was an unexpected turn, resulting in one of the worst years of your life.
the doctors said it had something to do with her heart, some type of cardiovascular disease that costs a bit to treat. so, as soon as you turned 15, you found yourself a part-time job at a local restaurant to pay for her medicines and treatment while she tried her best to provide you with a stable foundation for the future, or at least some food, a house, and water. grandma had argued that she didn’t need your help, she scolded you and tried to keep you focused on your studies, but you wouldn’t budge; if anything, you argued back.
twenty-four hours in a day, and yet it wasn’t enough time to do everything you needed without sacrificing some of your sanity.
six of those hours were spent sleeping, seven hours were spent in school, eight hours at work right after, and then a few hours to care for grandma—and do a little bit of boxing; nothing got in the way of your passion, especially if that passion kept your grandpa alive. 
ever since that little moment with grandma and her cleaning up your knees, your interest in your grandpa and boxing piqued; you started to push yourself physically after hearing about the contests and tournaments, ones that had prizes worth more than one shift of working.
 it was difficult – boxing, working, going to school – with grandma’s illness, but your passion was just as great as your grandpa’s and the more you developed to become more like him: the more grandma would smile. that was the product you yearned for, and all your devotion (plus your similar features) only made the image of your grandpa increasingly prominent when she looked at you.
boxing made the thought of her illness easier to bear, and that didn’t cost anything, instead it filled your pockets. so, you kept on going, replicating the moves in the old films of your grandpa, winning junior boxing matches and placing the films your grandma recorded next to the ones of your grandpa. 
even when you didn’t win matches, the tapes of you boxing were placed next to your grandpa’s. that was arguably ten times better than a trophy.
it was enough to ease the strain in grandma’s body, and that made you happy too.
--
a year passes and you’re still a part-time amateur cook at some local restaurant. you still smell like sauteed onions and garlic when you reach the door to the apartment and try to blindly reach for the keys to your home; it’s a bit late, you’re tired, and you want to shower then pass out as soon as you can.
the late evening moon cast a soft glow through the windows near the stairwell, creating a quiet atmosphere. you step inside and the air is filled with the comforting scent of vanilla, a lingering trace of grandma’s signature cookies—she must’ve known you’ve been craving something sweet lately.
the only sound that fills the quiet evening is the faint ticking of the clock reverberates throughout the apartment, and then it’s the sound of the door creaking as you close it. 
“i’m home," you called out, a habitual greeting as you kicked off your shoes. usually, you’d get a response—it was half past seven and typically, grandma would still be awake to greet you warmly—but silence lingered, only broken by the distant hum of the refrigerator.
worry pricked at your consciousness as you ventured further into the house. the hallway leading to the bedroom seemed unusually hushed. the gentle rustling of your grandma’s usual activities was conspicuously absent, she wasn’t even knitting in the living room while watching tv like she usually did. it was odd.
turning the corner into the bedroom, a gasp escaped your lips. you dropped your work bag and stood frozen in place, feeling your heart rate spike. there, lying on the carpet, was your grandma, and her face now bore the lines of pain. panic surged through your veins as you rushed to her side.
"grandma, what happened?" your voice trembled as you gently shook her shoulders, desperately hoping for a response.
grandma’s eyes were closed, her breathing erratic. the room seemed to close in on you as you fumbled for your phone, dialing 911 with trembling hands. the operator's calm instructions cut through the air as you listened intently, trying to focus on each word and compose yourself.
frantically, you performed cpr, guided by the dispatcher's voice, but the seconds felt like an eternity. the room blurred as tears welled in her eyes, mixing with the fear that gripped her heart. the paramedics were on their way, but time was slipping away. this could not be happening—not now, not here, not ever.
“please, god, please no. please stay with me, not you too.” you beg, feeling your face dampen.
as you continued the compressions, a heaviness settled in the room. the once warm and inviting space now felt suffocating. in those agonizing moments, your grandma’s fragile grip on life slipped away. it was clear that she was gone, and there was nothing you could do to help her this time.
--
there’s enough money for you to live in that apartment alone for two months. the first week was spent with you sleeping in, missing school, and staring into the ceiling blankly.
you haven’t gotten up in hours, you could hardly take care of yourself after grandma’s passing. 
after a few hours of simply laying down and feeling too much, yet nothing at all; you flip over on your side and catch sight of the framed picture of you and your grandma. your brows turn up slightly as you stare back at the picture. you turn to lay on your back again, closing your eyes and groaning. your heart aches, it’s all too much for you.
the sound of knocking elicits an exhausted sigh from you, and it takes you a moment to get up for the first time in hours. you trudge out of the bedroom and groan when a sudden headache hits you, it almost makes you stumble. the sight of the kitchen and untouched living room makes your shoulders sink, it looks the same as that life-changing night.
you unlock the door and twist the knob to open it; a taller man stands in front and looks up at you with a sincere smile. 
“ah, y/n, am i correct?” he questions. a smile pulls at his lips, his eyes soften upon observing you. “you’ve grown, you have your grandpa’s eyes.”
his voice is soft, you can tell he’s a well-spoken, dignified man just from the way he articulates his words. he's quite fit looking for his age, he seems about how old your grandpa would’ve been if he was still alive; a man with noticeable smile lines and hands that seemed to have experienced decades.
you try to respond and realize that it’s been a week since you’ve uttered something that wasn’t a cry. you resort to nodding; he seems to understand.
he smiles and scans you; it seems that he doesn’t care about your appearance or state at all. 
“my name is michael, i was a friend of your grandparents. i’m sorry for your loss.”
you stay silent, unable to speak. 
“i’m here because your grandma asked for a favor, a big one and it includes you.” he begins, “she knew her condition was getting worse and asked me to come here to talk to you.”
“what?” you croak, now curious of just who exactly this man is and his connections with not just your grandma, but also your grandpa. “you knew?” your voice cracks, your heart breaks.
“i can’t turn down a favor like this, not if your grandma is asking either.” he says, pursing his lips. his eyes scan the room, then they start to well up with water. “she wanted me to take you in and take care of you if anything happened to her, of course i’m willing to do that for her—you’re her family after all, and i owe a lot to the l/n’s. i didn’t know her time would come so soon.”
“what? who, who are you exactly? my grandma told you about her condition? what— how—”
“i was close with your grandparents. i’m someone who owes them everything.”
-
you move in with michael not so long after your first meeting, he warms up to you easily after spilling some anecdotes that threatened your last tears to spill.
it takes a while to grow accustomed to him, you’ve only ever been used to talking to your grandma freely.
michael is a man in his early 50s, younger than your grandparents. he’s a sweet, soft-spoken man that treated you like his own as soon as the two of you met. you learn that he boxed with your grandpa; michael learned everything from your grandpa and explains that your grandpa is the reason he can live normally now. 
something in the way that he talks about your grandparents and the way he looks at you explains a lot, you don’t know exactly what your grandparents did, but it seems like they were his biggest miracle.
he smiles at you when you settle in his house, then goes on to tell you that you remind him of your old man. michael is a generous guy, and though everything happened so fast—recovering from grandma’s death, moving in with this man you’ve never heard of, learning more about your grandparent’s relations, and too much more—you seem to ease into this new lifestyle.
what else could you do anyway?
the new home you’re in isn’t small; if anything, it’s actually quite large and spacious. his home is hours away from where grandma was and it was hard leaving everything behind, but with your situation, the most you could feel is grateful for having a place and person to stay with, and a way to keep you from drowning in misery.
it was also evident that there used to be someone who lived with him, a lover of some sort. the pictures on the wall give you a sense of how he was like when whoever that woman was accompanying him was around; he was a lively, beaming man back then. now, he’s a bit more mellow, but there’s still that slight charm.
-
michael offers you a job at his little restaurant that he manages—which you accept immediately, you owe him some labor, and honestly everything after what he’s done for you—everything goes well. 
he goes easy on you because of your recent loss, but still, he treats you like you’re his own. michael is quick to correct you, strict when he needs to be, and someone to rely on.
he’s impressed with your skills in the kitchen, enamored by how quick you are to learn recipes and cook them up. your bond grows quickly and easily, it helps you get over the loss.
when he finds you watching your grandpa’s old boxing matches on the couch a month after moving in, he decides to bring you to his little garage. he unveils the trophies that he’s collected over years of boxing and decides to give you a picture of him and your grandpa posing together. in the picture, they’re all sweaty and smiley, beaming so brightly that their teeth almost reflect the light. he insists that “you deserve it more, i never had a place to keep this anyway,” with a small smile that conceals his sorrow, then hands you the 8x6 photo.
you tell him about your background in boxing, your matches, wins, favorite moves, and that you used to teach yourself how to box because of grandpa.
he simply smiles, muttering something that sounds like a “you’re just like him.”
you learn how to box again for the first time in a while on some friday night. this time you really learn, it’s not from copying your old man’s combos on a screen; instead, it’s one-on-one lessons with his old friend. 
he teaches you a lot, beats you down and makes you get back up. despite getting knocked down, thrown around, and given harsh constructive criticism—you get up and try again, again, and again. the thrill of it all surges through your body again, giving you that adrenaline rush and burst of joy that you’ve been missing for a bit.
one month passes, then another, and now you’re learning how to box every weekend – sometimes on weekdays – running miles after school, pushing yourself all the time, and winning—growing. 
he teaches you his favorites combos, then your grandpa’s favorite ones that got him on one knee each time they sparred. you learn all the time, learn whenever you can despite the slight ache in your body and it’s always michael forcing you to take it easy to get rid of that slight pain. 
boxing takes over your mind and you’re set with cooking as your main job, so school was something you weren’t really set on, you figured that out after all your troubles. michael was okay with that—to your surprise—and you decided to devote your time into training and doing your best at the little restaurant you worked at.
time passes and you decide to put yourself up to the test and sign yourself up for matches. at first, they’re just for experience, and then you’re pushing yourself to win these triple digit checks—which you win proudly after making your way up the bracket and succeeding. you’re proud of yourself for these accomplishments, michael is too, he says that your grandparents would be proud as well and it makes you tear up.
everything was going well, and you had michael to thank for pulling you out of the harsh waters that tried to pull you down and drown you in your misery.
--
when everyone was starting out in college, you were opening up the restaurant and getting everything ready.
you graduated with a solid gpa of 3.4. your counselors were practically up your ass because of your lack of interest in going to college. they tried to persuade you by saying that it would be great for your future, they insisted that you could take culinary classes, boxing classes, etc; despite every effort and attempt, you wouldn’t budge. 
there was always that slight uneasiness that came with deciding not to go to college, but at the same time, you were set with how everything was right now; especially after seeing the elderly regulars that always came in for breakfast. one of them patted you on the back as you hung up the “welcome” sign and greeted you with a smile, saying “it’s nice to see you again y/n, as always.” 
this type of lifestyle kept you smiling, there was not much to complain about other than the rare rude customer that would pass by here and there. you were content to say the least.
-
a few months before you turn nineteen, you decide to move out because there’s a small feeling that you may be a slight burden to michael, plus, the area is not bad and the rent is cheap. he assures that you can stay for however long, but you assure that you can hold up on your own. 
the place you decide to settle in is a thirteen-minute run from michaels place and a ten-minute walk from the restaurant you work at. robert says he’s proud that you’ve grown to be independent and strong.
(you laugh because you’ve simply moved out and decided to live on your own. plus, you live near him and work most of your shifts with him too, but you let him hug you dearly). 
you stay in a single-bedroom apartment that has a nice, small kitchen area littered with trinkets you’ve collected and small plants here and there. the living room is homey and has a single couch with a small coffee table in it that you gives you a view of the small market that goes on every sunday in the distance. you love the place. 
it gets lonely some nights, coming home to a silent house. grandma pops up in your mind and part of you (all of you) wishes that you’d come home to the smell of home cooked food and a smile that emphasizes her wrinkles. grandma hated her wrinkles, but you loved them. a few wrinkles never hurt anyone.
-
you huff, taking off the bandana on your head. “i’m clocking out, see you tomorrow.” 
“wait! michael has something for you in the back. uhh--” aki, the junior in high school that works part time, begins. you pause in your tracks, bag over your shoulder. “hold on let me--”
“c’mon, i'm running a little late for the match. i need to get checked in.” you say hurriedly, “just tell him i'll get it later--”
“no, y/n, it’s important. he said to get it to you today.”
with a deep sigh, you give in, watching him put away the plate he was washing and quikcly running to the back where the lockers are. you follow him in and watch him take out a small box with a little paper on it. it's a pretty big box, maybe bigger than a shoe box.
“here,” he says, handing it to you. “michael says good luck and to open it before your match, he knows how important this one is. three hundred is a solid prize, he says you can do it.”
you smile at aki; he smiles back before running off and back to the kitchen. the box is held with your hands, subtle blisters scratching against the cardboard before you walk over to your car. 
when you’re in the driver's seat, you decide to let the box be your little passenger and see what's inside when you reach the address of the tournament. as soon as you do, the box is in your hands again. with your keys, you cut the tape that covered the openings, then eagerly opened the box like a little kid on christmas morning.
inside, there’s brand new boxing gloves. they're white, they’re fresh, and they’re the expensive ones michael caught you eyeing.
“son of a bitch.” you mutter, shaking your head with a grin playing on your lips. 
you get out your old white mazda with a bag hung on your shoulder, new gloves inside.
there's a man at the front checking you in, his appearance slightly older with hair parted in the middle and a somewhat distraught expression on his face, almost disgust. maybe he just... looks like that. 
there's a hint of attitude in his tone when he asks, "you're here for the match?" 
“yes.”
“you’re late, you know? boxers should’ve checked in ten minutes ago, visitors--”
“i’m here now.” you say calmly, looking at him apologetically. “sorry for being late, i rushed from work. i already submitted my medical information and id online, it should be good to go, i got the email. it's l/n y/n by the way, i should be on the roster--”
he snaps his fingers at you, earning a raised brow from you. your teeth grind against each other as you clench your jaw from the sudden action.
“don’t cut me off when i'm speaking. i could have you out of the match as a whole, you know?” he scoffs, glaring at you. “you boxers are so damn impatient, and to think that you’re a woman too... i would’ve figured you had better manners.”
“i’m-- im sorry?” you’re shocked by the sudden disrespect, fighting back the urge to jab his face. “um, sorry. am i still able to check in?”
he narrows his eyes at you, sighing, but still giving you a little snarky tone even as he hands you your name tag and . “fine. go down the hall and to the left, there’s the locker rooms and whatnot. you know, you’re lucky i don’t--”
“thank you sir, have a good one.” is what you say, because you trained two months for this tournament and you can’t get disqualified now if you had let out that: “fuck you, bitch.”
you dash past him, speed walking towards the changing rooms to get yourself situated and weighed in. he almost curses at you, but you’re already too far in for him to stop you anyway.
--
you make weight, meaning you get to indulge in whatever it was that you grabbed from the convenience store.
in this case it was one protein bar – cookie dough, your favorite – some fruits, an avocado, and a few crackers. a decent amount of nutrition to keep you up on your toes for the matches.
michael's little gift to you fits snug, your hands fit perfectly in them, but you should definitely break them in before sparring—so you resort to using your usual gloves, the same ones that won you the last tournament's prize. it's fine anyway, they’re your lucky ones until you break in the new.
the first girl you take on is feisty; she’s quick on her feet and clearly has some type of anger issue from the way she curses at you quietly, sending daggers with that look of hers. it seems that you piss her off the more level you are, and honestly, it’s amusing to see her continuously jab and jab with fury until you decide to step to the side quickly and give a solid swing. 
she stumbles back, losing her composure before gritting her teeth. 
then she’s light on her feet again, you’re still playing defense, simply observing as she shifts side to side. you let her punch your forearm and send a cross before seizing the moment, stepping to the left, and quickly sending a nasty hook to her body. 
she stumbles again, coughs, and falls down on her knees.
“l/n!” the referee shouts, holding your wrist and raising your arm up.
--
you have three more matches until your final round, the one that’ll determine if you win, but you have to get through all of them first.
the second round proves to be more challenging. the woman you're up against lands a nasty cross that connects squarely with your jaw, throwing you off balance for a split second. however, with attentive focus on each of her movements, you manage to anticipate her next move and swiftly counter with a hook to her side. the blow knocks her out, mirroring the outcome of your previous match.
the third round is even more difficult. the woman you're up against this time seems relentless, unleashing jabs and crosses and jabs and crosses and jabs—wow, she won’t give you a break. you're constantly dodging, weaving side to side, but she refuses to give you a moment's respite. another blow lands on your jaw again, causing you to stumble back and exhale sharply, feeling the impact reverberate through your body.
as you try to regain your footing, she continues to press the attack, landing blows to your forearms as you desperately block, trying to find an opening to mount a counterattack. despite your best efforts, she seems to have you on the ropes, leaving you struggling to keep up with her relentless assault.
but still, as you always do, you manage to swerve and find your opening. after all that effort, she has to recover for a second. a second is more than enough time to step and switch angles, sending your infamous hook and leaving her on the ground, almost in fetal position, and groaning.
the fourth round is tough, really tough. the girl you’re up against is shorter, but wow is she bulky. 
she’s buff, biceps bigger than yours, almost as if an orange had been placed in them. her shoulders were like rocks and tensed as she put her arms up a bit. you had a decent amount of muscle, pretty nice definition and whatnot—but compared to her? it was like a shrimp and a lobster put next to each other. no way she was in your weight class, could she really be?
your arms steady as you get ready to fight, waiting for the cue and as soon as the ref gives you the green light, you’re light on your feet again. she throws a jab at you, grazing your forearm as you step back. then a cross is thrown at you, another jab, and a punch to the side that lands on your shoulder. her hits are as strong as she looks, it hurts. 
you manage to throw a jab that hits her forearms, then land an uppercut that strikes the side of her jaw. she lets out a sharp breath as soon as it hits, then curses under her breath. she looks at you with a death glare, then steps forward and to the side, managing to land a nasty hit right on your abdomen, then cheek, making you fall back against the rope.
she chuckles, making you take a deep breath. 
your feet move quick, inching in on her as you sway from side to side, giving her no room to strike at you. and then, just when you find an opening, you land a nice hook with your right—less precise and powerful, but still enough—and she falls back. 
she gets back up again—not without halting a few of her actions—then shakes her head. she throws a cross at you, which you dodge easily since her reach is on the shorter side. this gives you another opportunity to land a hit right on her jaw, and with that final move, she’s on the ground, and you win.
a smile reaches your face once the referee lifts your arm up, but there’s still that last match.
there's some time before finals, you take the time to rest a bit, chugging down a bit of water and wiping away some of the sweat on your body.
you sit down on one of the benches, leaning against the wall and recollecting yourself. the though of your grandma crosses your mind before you’re interrupted by a high pitched voice in the corner of your ear.
“yunjin! i'm so sorry i'm late, i had to finish moving in some things and--”
“it’s fine, seriously. i'm glad you made it.”
you glance over, seeing two women interact. one is obviously a boxer–one that you haven’t seen yet–probably your opponent for the final round. 
she's all sweaty, strands from her hair glued to her forehead from the sweat. she's pretty built, maybe a little smaller than you are muscle-wise, but still, the definition on her arms and abs are no joke. 
the woman next to her, dressed in a simple long-sleeve shirt and jeans, is beaming at her with a wide smile. her eyes sparkle with joy and happiness and rainbows, there’s an infectious energy that seems to radiate off of her. it's funny how bright she is; you can't help but be reminded of old videos of your grandma with grandpa, where similar warmth and happiness seemed to fill the frame.
“how many more matches do you have left? did you win any yet? gosh i missed so much, didn’t i?”
the taller one shakes her head, the boxer. “it’s fine, the rest were pretty difficult, but this is the round that should be the most important. it's the last one, i'm going up someone really good, i saw her--” she catches you from the side of your eye, which prompts you to look away and start to stand up.
the other woman, the one that looks a little like an eager bunny, looked towards where the boxer was looking. catching your last swift look over to the pair before you walk away.
now, yunjin, your last opponent, tenses her jaw.
“was that her?” yunjin’s friend asks.
“most definitely.” yunjin mumbles nervously.
--
you step into the ring, tilting your neck over to crack it just slightly.
your oppenent swings her arms slightly, dynamically stretching again to ease her nerves. you look her up and down, taking a deep breath before you step into the middle of the platform.
the two of you make eye contact, comparable to cowboys pointing pistols at each other before a duel. you look away first before the referee puts his hand in the middle, then lifts it up to cue the start of your match.
slowly circling the ring, you observe her movements. her arms react quick to how yours move, twitching and moving a bit in order to match your rhythm. she's attentive, very attentive, you can tell just by how quick she’s able to react and adjust.
you throw a cross, she backs away immediately and misses, then throws a punch right at you, hitting your forearm. a grunt is heard from you, then a sharp breath as you jab her forearm in return. 
“jen! you can do it!” the voice from earlier calls out, you can’t afford to look over, but it’s that girl. the one who had been accompanying your opponent earlier.
a small smile forms on your opponent's lips before she launches into a flurry of punches aimed directly at you. you raise your forearms in a desperate attempt to block them from reaching your face, but she manages to find an opening. stepping to the side, she delivers a rear uppercut to your jaw once again, causing a sharp surge of pain to shoot through you. it hurts even more than before, the sensation amplified by the previous blows.
you grunt out in pain, feeling the metallic tang of blood filling your mouth as you watch droplets fall onto the platform below. despite the searing pain and the mounting pressure of the match, you force yourself to regain your composure. your brows crease with determination as you shake your head, breathing in and out slowly.
now it's your turn to unleash a boatload of punches. several of them land squarely on your opponent's forearms, but you manage to find an opening and deliver a powerful blow right to her stomach, causing her to gasp out in pain. despite her reaction, you continue your assault relentlessly, delivering punch after punch to the side of her arms and the forearms covering her head. each blow is delivered with precision and determination, as you refuse to let up until the match is won.
but your opponent still perseveres, somehow finding a way to get out of the corner and land a jab right where your ribs are. she's quick, that’s for sure, always managing to find her way out of situations.
you cough out, stumbling backwards and almost falling down to your knees. she looks at you, huffing proudly as you find your balance. 
“tough,” you hear her mumble, so quiet that you almost mistook it for a whisper.
the two of you go at it again, trading blows and dodging many of them. yunjin manages to land a solid hit on the side of your arm, causing a sharp sting, but you fight back with a well-placed strike right on her tricep. despite the back and forth, the pace slows as both of you focus on dodging each other's attacks, slowing down the more fatigued you both get.
yunjin suddenly lands a powerful hit that causes your arms to push your head to the side. you watch as drops of blood litter the ground once again, but even as pain flares through you, you grunt and pull yourself together.
“c’mon yunjin!” the voice cheers again, that same voice.
just because this “yunjin” has supportive spectators, doesn’t mean you don’t have one watching from above.
the thought of your grandma urges you to act swiftly, moving so quick that you manage to fake her out and strike your signature final move.
turning to the left to regain your footing, you quickly pivot back and swing your arm with precision, landing a harsh blow on her side. the impact is so fatal that it nearly elicits a cry from her—a mix of a cough and a groan—as she staggers backward before collapsing to the ground.
despite the fatigue and pain coursing through your body, and the blood flowing down your nose and to the edge of your chin, none of it bothers you anymore; you’ve won. it’s clear.
you watch as yunjin kneels on the ground, groaning and huffing as she tries to fight back the pain. with both fists planted firmly on the ground, she uses the gloves to support herself, unable to look back up as she coughs, desperately trying to regain her composure and recover from the left hook to her side.
your eyes meet the ref’s eyes, then your brows raise to ask the question “is it over?” but you already know the answer: it is.
the referee helps yunjin up, you don’t bat an eye at her.
standing in the middle of the ring waiting for her, you make full eye contact with her little friend, a look of worry and anger plastered on the woman’s face. you feel a little bad, just a little (but not really), but it’s a competition, it’s nothing to worry about – you’ve won.
still, in that moment, you're caught off guard by how familiar this woman looks, her features bearing a slight resemblance to michael’s. but you quickly push the thought aside, it's not important. what matters is the referee raising your hand up in victory and yelling out your name.
“y/n!”
-
when yunjin gets down from the ring, a few moments after you’ve already stepped off; her friend is already by her side to make sure she’s okay.
“yunjin! oh my gosh, are you okay?”
“yes, hanni, it’s fine.” yunjin assures, clutching her right side. “hell of a hook...”
if it weren’t for those gloves of yours, yunjin would have a prominent bruise right on the skin covering her ribs. hanni frowns at her state before someone comes over to hand yunjin a towel and a water bottle. 
hanni catches you in the corner of her eye as you stand there, sweaty and looking at the ground. a towel is handed to you, and you quickly use it to wipe away the blood on your face. then you look up at the ceiling, closing your eyes as if trying to gather yourself and stem the flow of blood trickling down your face.
“do matches usually end like that?” hanni asks.
“what?”
“like that. someone's hand is raised and then they just... walk off the stage?”
yunjin thinks to herself as she chugs on water. “well, i mean, usually we exchange a few words and stuff, but i guess who i just fought is more... blunt? reserved?” yunjin shakes her head, “it's not that big of a deal, really. she's bleeding anyway, i understand.”
“that’s kind of rude, don’t you think?”
“well, it’s not like she’s actually trying to hurt me for like, terrible reasons. there's a cash prize she wants and she won it.” yunjin shrugs defeatedly.
as you sniffle slightly, you turn to the side, locking eyes with hanni. your look gives the impression of a glare; your eyes narrow, and your expression remains unyielding. it's as if you're sending arrows of scrutiny towards hanni and yunjin. hanni can't help but feel unsettled by the way you hold yourself and the implicit judgment in your gaze. she's not one to judge easily, but your demeanor leaves her feeling a bit wary and cautious.
hanni watches you walk off, wiping a small drop of blood off your jawline, rubbing it off on your towel.
yunjin looks in the same direction as hanni, muttering something under her breath.
“she’s real tough, that’s right.”
--
you walk over to the cafe nearby, you need a little treat after winning, that’s what you deserve.
walking up to the cashier, you order a slice of strawberry shortcake, one latte, and a cookie for later. it’s a quick little action, once you’re done purchasing you head out the door, hearing a little jingle. 
as you walk down the sidewalk, you check your little bag to make sure the container of your cake isn’t tilted, and in the moment, you bump into someone. the coffee in your hand slips and lands on the person in front of you.
a curse slips out your lips, some of the coffee manages to land on your shoulder and upper right side of your chest. you groan, not looking up at the person in front of you and instead crouching down to pick up the bag you’ve just dropped.
“you’re not even going to bat an eye at her?” a voice scoffs from above, you look up to spot two familiar faces: one, the last girl you had knocked out and two, her little friend. “did the win make you so dense?”
“hanni relax, it’s fine–”
“no! she barely batted an eye at you after she won! shouldn’t boxers have more sportsmanship?”
the boxer above you puts a hand on the shorter girl’s shoulder, trying to cool her down as you stand up. the girl you had beat earlier – yunjin – she looks at you and tightens her jaw, hesitating before looking away.
“i’m, i’m sorry for that, for my friend.” she apologizes. you examine her more, noticing that only a bit of coffee landed on her t-shirt and the rest had spilt on you and the ground – it wasn’t that big of a deal. “it’s a small stain, the shirt is navy. sorry for your coffee.”
before you can respond, the shorter woman looks at yunjin confusedly, then pushes her back a bit so that she’s standing closer to you. she has to look up a bit, tilting her head as she meets your unbothered gaze.
“no, yunjin, she should apologize.” the woman spits, “you bump into my friend and spill coffee on her–”
“it’s barely anything–” yunjin butts in, but her little friend puts a finger to her lips.
“you better apologize, that win didn’t make you any better than anyone you’ve beat.” 
you look the girl up and down, then at yunjin who’s looking regretful and slightly embarrassed. you fix the slice of cake in your bag, catching the shorter girl looking at you like you’re crazy, then sigh out tiredly. 
“hey, yunjin, right?”
she nods, then hums, “yeah.”
you glance back at her friend, shrinking her down with just your eyes. you catch the way her jaw tightens and the flicker of fear in her eyes.
“tame your little friend, ‘kay?” you firmly say, then brush past the two of them.
hanni cannot believe her eyes, or anything. how can someone be so arrogant? 
she watches you casually walking off with an empty coffee cup in one hand and a small plastic bag in the other; her brows crease with anger as she starts to storm towards you, hearing yunjin’s attempts at verbally stopping her fading in the back.
you feel someone tugging at your flannel from behind, gasping lowly before turning around to meet yunjin’s little friend again.
“what the fuck is wrong with you?”
“relax.”
“apologize.” she grips your forearm, taken aback from how firm the muscles in that area are. uncertainly, she adds, “now.”
you look her up and down again, amused by the sight. some girl – who is shorter and smaller than you – is trying to hold you – the person who just knocked her friend out – back in an attempt for some stupid, haste ‘apology.’
“what are you going to do if i don’t?” you ask, partly because you’re curious and the other reason being that this is far too entertaining. “punch me? throw a hook? what are you, 5 feet tall?”
“five feet and three inches you ass!” 
“uh huh.” you sigh, shaking her hand off with your forearm. “fuck off.”
hanni watches you walk away again, before she can walk after you, yunjin grabs her and holds her back – this time with all her strength, the rest that she has left after those matches. hanni shouts at you through gritted teeth, yunjin puts a hand over her mouth and scolds her for being an idiot.
“are you crazy?”
“she’s an ass!”
“yeah but… stop making a scene! you just moved here, don’t go starting shit on your first day.”
“but she’s–”
“hanni.” yunjin turns her around and places both hands on either shoulder, looking her dead in the eye and then shaking her head tiredly. “can we just grab something to eat, i’m so fucking tired.”
yunjin’s best friend rolls her eyes before making a small “hmph” noise, crossing her arms before walking towards the cafe that you had just left.
hanni grabs a post fight meal with yunjin, then takes multiple photos at some random photobooth in a mall nearby, and finally gets dropped off at where she’s staying thanks to yunjin, considering the fact that hanni has nothing but a bus pass – not even a metro card.
hanni enters the house, smelling the wonderful aroma of what she believes is garlic and onion being sauteed in the kitchen. she smiles, happy that her grandpa is home and cooking up something delicious.
she kicks off her shoes, then starts to walk over to the kitchen, only to see someone turned to the stove – a tall, athletic, toned, and feminine looking back – someone that is not her grandpa. 
immediately, she gasps, then covers her mouth. she watches the figure turn, then takes her hand off her mouth to gasp again.
“what the hell are you doing in my house?”
“what the hell are you doing here?”
“this is my house?!” hanni exclaims, her voice laced with confusion and a hint of fear. technically, it isn’t really hanni’s house, but through family ties, it might as well be. “get out! are you fucking—are you stalking me? is this because of before? what, are you going to punch me or—”
her breath catches, words failing her as you step forward, closing the distance between you two. you’re in her space now, forcing her to tilt her head up slightly to meet your narrowed gaze. the intensity in your eyes makes her breath hitch again, and she’s keenly aware of how scrutinizing your stare is. she takes in your sharp, intimidating presence, noting how your eyes bore down on her from above. you’re nearly a head taller, clearly stronger, your tank top revealing the evidence of your hard work, while she’s standing there in the casual, unassuming attire of an average college student. she would be lying her ass off if she said she wasn’t scared right now.
“i’m not going to pick a fight with someone like you,” you state, looking her up and down, your tone dripping with condescension. the height difference, the bandage on your nose from the matches you won; everything about you screams physical superiorty, and hanni feels a flare of anger. but even though she’s willing to fight, you’re making it clear that you don’t see her as a threat.
“the hell does that mean you bitch?”
you move your head slight closer so you’re up in her face, letting out a small, amused chuckle. 
“watch your mouth.”
“how about you learn personal space!” hanni groans, using her hand to push your shoulder lightly as she steps back and furthers the distance between you two. “where are your manners?”
“you really wanna start something again?”
“shut the hell up, you’re the one in my place.”
“this is michael’s place.” you correct her. “you don’t look anything like him,” well, she does have his eyes and nose. “do you even know him?”
“the hell? of course i know michael, he’s my grandpa you sack of shit!” hanni scoffs, crossing her arms angrily. 
your brows furrow and you retreat back just a bit. “he’s your what?”
“my–” before hanni finishes her sentence, you two turn your heads to the sound coming from behind the stairs. both of you watch an older man appear with two bags of groceries and a surprised look on his face as soon as he spots you two. 
he looks between you both, grin growing as he approaches the two of you. “oh! i see you two have met!”
“michael, who is this?”
“grandpa, who–”
“ah, i should’ve introduced you two, or given a little heads up.”
a heads-up would’ve been great. 
you’re standing just a foot away from the girl who tried to pounce on you outside a café, the same girl who had to be restrained by her friend—the friend you knocked out cold. and now, as fate would have it, like the universe thinks you’re some type of joke, she turns out to be the granddaughter of the man who helped you get back on your feet. 
a warning would’ve been more than just great, but it’s kind of – very – late to give one.
“well, y/n, this is hanni, my granddaughter, and hanni, this is y/n. do you remember the l/n’s? she’s their granddaughter!”
hanni blinks, her jaw dropping. the l/n’s, as in the l/n’s who saved her grandpa from some gang years before she was born, the same l/n’s that let him stay at their place during his earuly adult years, the same l/n’s he would talk about like they were some type of saviors. 
the same so called ‘saviors’ who’s descendant had been a bitch at in the cafe.
“oh.” hanni says, looking back at you and tightening her jaw. “really now?” she says softly, trying to let the information sink in.
“yes! why don’t you guys introduce each other.” he suggests. you look back at hanni like he’s just told some unbelievable, sick lie. she looks at you with grossed out features, as if you had some type of disease. “come on now,” he walks over to hold both your wrists, bringing you two closer and moving your hands over so they make contact. 
hanni stares at the hands in disgust, and you mirror her.
you sigh before loosely grabbing her hand and shaking it, greeting lowly, “nice to meet you hanni.”
she grips your hand tight in an attempt to intimidate you, but it’s nothing, barely half a kilogram of force. “nice to meet you y/n.”
you squeeze her hand just barely, earning a gasp from her and barely containing a laugh, only flashing an amused smile at the now annoyed woman in front of you.
michael smiles at the two of you, clearly missing the tension and obvious rivalry in the air before saying, “glad you two are getting along. hanni here is moving in, she’s going to the university nearby.”
“is that so?” you raise a brow at hanni, she pulls her hand away and shakes it off like a virus is on her hand. 
“yeah, nursing.”
“i bet they’d love your little self there, huh?”
hanni bites her lip in an attempt to hold herself back from cursing at you. she opts for smiling at her grandpa and saying, “hey, i’m going to unpack now gramps, okay?”
“right! i forgot, you should definitely do that. hey, y/n, why don’t you help her out?”
“me?” 
“her?” hanni asks, earning another offended glare from you. “i’m fine, really.”
“no, no, your luggage is quite heavy – and a large load. go on now, you two can bond while i make dinner,” he says cheerfully, pushing you two in the direction of the stairs. “have fun!”
you and hanni are fighting every single demon and voice in your heads in order to not to insult each other. you stand at the entrance of the guest bedroom, looking at the three boxes on the ground in front of the empty bed. hanni sighs, starting to unzip the suitcase that she rolls from the corner.
“you a hoarder or–?”
“shut up.” hanni spits, opening her suitcase and unpacking her clothes onto the bed. “you piss me off.”
“because i spilled coffee on your friend?”
“well you were a bitch about it.”
“it wasn’t that serious, it’s never that serious.”
“you won that fuckass tournament and now you think you’re better than her–”
“i never said that–”
“shut up!” hanni groans, turning around to glare at you. you tilt your head and she groans again, “make yourself useful with you boxer muscles and move the boxes on the ground out of the way.”
“now you need my help.”
“i’ll fuck you up just you watch.”
“yeah, right.” you snicker, looking her up and down as you lean against the doorframe. “i’m terrified.”
“make yourself useful you asshole.” hanni orders, turning back to stack a pile of shorts on the bed.
you roll your eyes, sighing loudly as you walk over, bend down, and lift a box that’s a bit heavier than you’d like to admit. nonetheless, you manage to pick it up, then put it on the desk in the room.
“jesus christ,” the box lands with a little thud and you huff lightly. “you got all that anger inside you in here or…?”
hanni doesn’t respond, instead, she kicks the back of your leg with her foot. you simply laugh, making her kick you again.
“it’s your ego in there, idiot.”
“uh huh.” you click your tongue against the back of your teeth, turning back to help her out more. 
hanni has settled in well, though that’s unfortunately thanks to your help—help you were more or less forced to provide. moving everything in, showing her around the area, it’s all because you couldn’t say no when michael looked at you with that signature proud smile. 
the two of you exchange few words during what you loosely call a ‘tour.’ really, it’s just you walking her around the neighborhood, pointing out the nicer spots and which neighbors are the biggest complainers, before leading her to the bus stop. hanni, for her part, stays curious, her eyes roaming over anything that catches her interest, offering small smiles to the passerbys and throwing grimaces at you. 
you show her around downtown, just around her campus for a bit, making sure not to bump into her again after you two had made the wrong step and accidentally bumped shoulders.
“are you picking a fight?” hanni asks, turning fully to face you, her eyes narrowing as she sizes you up.
“i’d rather jump off that building over there,” you say, pointing to the ten-story structure looming in the distance. “--than lay a finger on you.”
“asshole.”
she rolls her eyes at you, scoffing in that way she always does when she’s annoyed. the way she looks in her oversized quarter-zip and sweatpants, with those big, clear frames perched on her nose, almost makes you laugh. there’s something oddly endearing about it, even if you won’t admit it out loud. the feeling is enough to tug a small smile to your lips, a quiet chuckle escaping before you can stop it. she looks like an idiot, a stupid, short idiot. 
hanni notices, of course, and pushes you with her shoulder, her expression a mix of irritation and something softer you can’t quite place.
you drop her off back at the house, handing her your spare key and watching her open the door. she unlocks it and the door opens just a bit, but before she steps inside, she turns to you.
hanni huffs quietly, then looks you in the eye. 
“thanks, i guess.”
“i guess?”
“yeah, i guess.”
“you’re welcome,” you say amusingly, looking down at her and analyzing just a bit. “i guess.”
she shakes her head and steps inside the house, you don’t step away until she’s fully inside and you hear the lock click.
the two of you don’t run into each other for a little over a week, but neither of you can stop thinking about the other here and there, despite how much it annoys you.
you’ve been busy with work, fixing up things around your apartment, and spending time with friends before they get caught up in the chaos of school. your days have been a mix of runs, training, and lifting weights at michael’s home, with the surprising bonus of not running into hanni. it’s been peaceful, almost too peaceful, but you’re not complaining.
hanni, on the other hand, has been getting settled into the town and adjusting to her new classes. she’s spent the week mingling with new people, going over her first few notes, and tweaking her schedule to make sure she stays on top of everything. she’s the type who thrives in a flexible routine, something that keeps her grounded and stress-free, so she’s been focused on creating that for herself. 
even though you haven’t crossed paths, the thought of each other lingers in the back of your minds, a low-level irritation (and maybe just a bit of infatuation) that neither of you can quite shake off.
the next time you run into each other, hanni is sitting at her desk, highlighting a few terms and studying some diagrams when she hears faint music and the rhythmic sound of something being hit, followed by the clinking of chains. at first, she perks up, curiosity piqued, but she dismisses it, turning her own music up to drown out the distraction.
but the noise doesn’t stop. in fact, it gets louder, the chains clinking so persistently that hanni finally gives in. she sets her highlighter down and gets up, irritation mixing with curiosity. she doesn’t see anything at first, just an open garage door across the way. so, she heads downstairs, still in her pajamas—an oversized t-shirt and old middle school gym shorts.
when she reaches the garage, she opens the door to find you, drenched in sweat, going at it with a punching bag. you’re throwing a series of rapid punches, each one landing with a solid thud, your breaths sharp and controlled. 
hanni stands there for a moment, caught off guard by the intensity of it all, the sight of you completely absorbed in your workout, the focus etched on your face as the chains rattle with each strike. 
then she shakes herself out of her trance, closing the door behind her loudly and earning your attention.
“what are you doing?”
you land one last blow to the sandbag before looking at her as you catch your breath. “what does it look like i’m doing, reading?” you ask sarcastically, feeling a drop of sweat drip off your chin.
“ugh,” hanni puts on a random pair of slides on the ground before walking up to you. “could you keep it down? i have to study, ever heard of that?”
“nerd.” you mumble, eyes narrowing at the frames she has on. “close the windows.”
“hot air rises.”
“fan?”
“y/n.” hanni groans. “some people are trying to get a degree.”
“and some people need some extra cash.” you retort, turning back and landing another blow at the bag. 
she groans again, shaking her head and biting her lip before she kicks your leg. you stop, turning back over with an annoyed look plastered on your face.
“could you please just lower the volume of your music down? and maybe close the garage door?”
“it’s hot in here.”
“it’s hot up there too, don’t be soft.”
you scoff, raising your eyebrows. “me? soft?”
hanni pinches the bridge of her nose, she looks irritated beyond measure – it’s really amusing. “i could care less if you have to fight later, i’m trying to do some work for uni and if you could just cooperate – please.”
you almost fight back – verbally of course, with some snarky comeback or something like that – but the genuine distress shown on her face makes you back down. you inhale sharply, then exhale slowly, looking out the garage door before you start to take off your gloves.
“fine, whatever.” you mumble before using your teeth to peel the velcro portion off. “i only practiced for twenty minutes but fine.”
hanni feels a twinge of guilt as she watches you angrily toss the gloves into the corner. she sees the way your hands slick back your damp hair, your movements rough and frustrated as you grab your bag. you wipe the sweat from your face with a towel, but her eyes are drawn to the way the light glistens off your back, the defined muscles highlighted by sweat and shadows. when you turn, hanni’s gaze catches on the hint of your abs peeking out from your tank top, and she quickly looks away, her jaw tightening as she forces herself not to stare.
her eyes wander to a photo pinned up on the garage wall. it’s of you and her grandpa, standing side by side. you’re smiling proudly, and he’s raising your hand in victory, a small medal clutched in your other hand. the sight makes hanni exhale, the irritation she felt earlier softening a bit.
before you can leave, she steps forward, stopping you in your tracks.
you turn to face her, looking at her questionably. “what?”
“hey,” hanni looks away, seemingly making up her mind about whatever she’s about to say or do. “i… i get home at around three if i’m studying after classes, that’s a better time to you know… do your stuff.”
“i work, hanni.”
“well, it was just a suggestion.” she looks at you intensely, eyes focused on yours. “or just… turn your music down… or something.”
“thanks for the suggestion, asshole.”
“hey!”
you can’t help but chuckle, a small smile accdientally forming before you put your poker face back on. “you’ll get used to it.”
“i hate you.”
“whatever, tell that to michael.” you add finally before flipping her off as you walk away; you hear hanni scoffing from behind.
you sneak in practice when hanni’s not home or when michael offers to help because there’s nothing better than taking out whatever you feel out on a punching bag or in the air. 
hanni is too preoccupied with work and her new friends to think about what a nuisance you are, but still, she finds time here and there everyday for you to pop up in her mind. she groans everytime your dumb face flickers in her brain, scoffing and shaking her head.
sometimes you even think of hanni, mostly when you’re in michael’s house and not getting scolded – for some reason, the absence of bickering with hanni and the hostility in the air makes you feel strange, almost like somethings missing despite your very little time with her.
neither of you bat an eye – this is a lie, both of you do, but as subtly as you can – when it comes to the thought of each other. it’s nothing, it can’t be.
minjeong kept you out, making you tag along with her little group of friends for dinner. all of you had barbeque and were laughing at the texts from aeri’s new talking stage.
it’s a boatload of cliche, sappy romantic lines that were probably found in a book he had picked up in the library. it’s oddly cliche and corny, things ranging from ‘you’re brighter than the sun, my love’ to ‘van gogh could never pain anything as beautiful as you’ and it has the whole table bursting out into laughter. sure, it was charming in its own way, but still, you cackled after watching jimin nearly spit out her beer after reading through all of it.
“jesus christ, who is this guy?” minjeong scoffs.
aeri sips on her drink, shrugging. “some guy in my statistics class, heeseung or something.”
“and you haven’t blocked him?” you chuckle, sipping on your soda. you were never a drinker despite your high tolerance, always opting for something without alcohol and being the token sober friend. “you’re stronger than me.”
“he’s cute! he’s just… icky over text. i swear he’s better in person. he’s like, super sweet and shit – in a frat too but he’s not like most frat guys.”
minjeong nudges your shoulder and looks at you with raised brows, you give her a knowing look and laugh to yourself. she leans over and mutters in your ear, “how much are you betting that they become official?”
“pftt, two weeks. aeri seems more than entertained, maybe enamored?”
“if it’s less than, you owe me twenty bucks.”
you roll your eyes, finishing your diet coke. “ass.”
“it’s a deal~” minjeong cheers before both of you return to the conversation, watching jimin give another judgy look after seeing his instagram. 
just then, your phone buzzes against the table and you turn to check it. there’s a text from michael, so you quickly look over to unlock your phone with your face and read the message; there’s something about michael asking you to take the morning shift instead of the evening, which makes you sigh. 
you love your friends, but michael and work have to come first sometimes.
“hey guys, i gotta go. sorry.” you sigh, picking up your little bag.
“what?” aeri whines, “it’s only eight?”
“i have to cover the morning, probably aki’s fault. i’m sorry – here.” you slap two ten dollar bills down, offering an apologetic smile. “it’s for the tip, use the other ten for dessert or something. sorry again, let’s hang next week?”
“ugh, fine.” minjeong groans before giving you a little side hug. she smiles at you and pinches your cheek, something all of your friends do since you’re the youngest of the bunch. “see you, asshole.”
“uh huh, fuck you too.” you joke, then wave to the rest. “bye.”
you walk out of the small barbeque restaurant and fix the tank top on your body, groaning at the small oil stain on the bottom of it. you sigh before continuing to walk down the road, fixing your hair as the wind messes it up.
your ear twitches when you hear a whistle, then a remark that makes your head turn.
“hey sweetheart, let me get a piece of that…” just the sound of it tells you it’s some drunkie, when you catch sight of three men, your assumption is proved correct.
“c’mon baby, don’t be shy now.” another one says, leaning against the wall as his other friend walks over to the woman passing by, tugging at her wrist lightly.
“hey, don’t be an ass, you’re too pretty to–”
you step forward, grabbing her wrist and pulling her away from the group. she looks at you, first confused, then with a flicker of gratitude as you motion for her to leave with a quick wave of your hand. she doesn’t hesitate, scurrying down the road while you turn back to face the three men in front of you.
their faces are flushed, a deep red from anger or alcohol—or maybe both. their hair is messy, beards scraggly and unkempt, and their eyes narrow as they take you in. one of them, bolder than the others, strides up and grabs your wrist. but you twist it sharply, making him wince and pull back with a pained groan.
“you wanna be a brave little bitch, huh?” he sneers, rubbing his wrist.
you shake his hand off and shove him back, your gaze hard and unflinching. his friends laugh darkly, stepping up beside him. they’re all taller, but not by much, and the height difference doesn’t faze you. you stand your ground, eyes locked on them with a cold intensity that makes their chuckles falter.
“look at you, you’re pretty too huh princess?”
“and you look like you were made with a quick nut.” you scoff stepping back as he steps forward.
“the hell did you say?”
“you heard me.”
he pokes the inside of his cheek before grabbing your wrist again, his grip tight enough so you can’t repeat your escape from his hold.
“oh, i’m gonna make you regret that, you little whore—” his threat is cut short as your fist connects with his jaw, snapping his head to the side. he groans, clutching his cheek and letting go of your wrist.
before you can catch your breath, his friend grabs your arm and slams you against the brick wall. your shoulder scrapes against the rough surface, tearing the skin and drawing blood. you try to push forward, but another man shoves you back, forcing you to hit the same spot again. the impact knocks the wind out of you, and you gasp, the pain sharp and immediate.
they surround you, blocking any view of the street. their smirks widen, and you can feel the danger closing in. but as one of them makes a move, you react instinctively, throwing a hook that catches him off guard and sends him stumbling back. his friends pause, shocked, before they turn to you, arms raised, fists clenched.
“so you think you’re tough, huh? that’s cute…” one of them slurs, stepping closer.
you don’t hesitate. you drive a jab straight into his chest, forcing the air out of him and making him stagger. the last man lunges at you, but you sidestep him, landing a solid blow to his jaw. he crumples, and you’re left standing, adrenaline coursing through your veins as you face the remaining two who are back up, ready for whatever comes next.
hanni is sprawled out on the couch, completely absorbed in the latest season of her favorite show. she’s nestled against the armrest, legs stretched out so far that her toes nearly graze the opposite end. her eyes are glued to the screen, knuckles brushing her lips as she watches the unfolding drama with bated breath. the sound of the door unlocking barely registers; she assumes it’s just her grandpa coming home.
“hi grandpa!” she calls out, not bothering to glance away from the screen. but instead of the usual warm greeting, there’s only the sound of the door closing with an unexpected force. that makes her pause. she hits the pause button and finally turns her head, eyebrows knitting together when she sees you heading toward the kitchen.
there’s something off about the way you move—your shoulders are slumped, and you lean heavily against the counter as soon as you reach it. it’s then that hanni notices the blood staining your shoulder, her eyes widening. she’s on her feet in an instant, rushing over in her oversized pajamas.
“y/n?” she gasps, her voice tight with concern as she takes in the sight of your scratched back, exposed by your tank top. “what happened?”
“nothing.” you lie, opening the cupboard and grabbing the first aid kit. 
“why are you so–” hanni catches herself before she insults you. “are you okay?”
“it’s just a scratch, go enjoy your show.”
“your shoulder is bleeding, and there are scrapes all over your back.” this is the first time hanni’s seen you in almost a month, and instead of you just showing up to exist and annoy her like usual, you’re battered and bruised. you’ve got blood seeping out from a cut on your shoulder, scratches on your jaw, and more dried blood on the edge of your nostril – probably from a prior nosebleed. there’s even a small cut on your neck, and overall, you look completely wrecked. hanni looks you up and down before pointing out the obvious, “this is not just a scratch.”
“thanks, sherlock,” you mutter as you tear open an alcohol wipe packet. “i got into a fight.”
“for money? how did gloves lead to this?” she asks, bewildered.
“no, not for money.” you wince as the alcohol stings your wound, but you keep going. “some guys were catcalling this woman... probably would’ve done worse to her if i hadn’t stepped in.”
“jesus… what happened after you stepped in?” hanni’s voice softens as she watches you closely, her eyes tracing the tension in your arm as you clean the wound.
“they pushed me against a brick wall and tried to fight me. it was three against one, but they were drunk. it wasn’t easy, but it’s handled. it’s nothing,” you say, brushing it off as you grab the nearest gauze and the biggest bandage you can find.
hanni makes a disgusted face, then it softens into something of worry.
you start to wash your hands and hanni can’t help but gaze at you for a while, you look back at her as your hands rub soap around, keeping eye contact and biting down on your teeth.
“you’re so fucking wreckless.”
“thanks hanni.” you say sarcastically, turning back to rinse your hands and shake them dry. “you’re so sweet.”
“why didn’t you just run? they were drunk and you’re–”
“asshole’s deserve bruises.” you answer. “i fight because i like to, and sometimes it’s necessary in situations like this.”
“do you like getting hurt?” hanni asks, “what the hell is wrong with you.” it unintentionally comes out harsh, surprising you both.
“oh, so i can’t fight drunk assholes who only think with their dicks? what the fuck is your problem? why do you care?” you snap, stepping closer to hanni, sizing her up. “you’re all ‘you piss me off’ until i do something that has nothing to do with you.”
“well!” hanni starts, her voice wavering as she takes in your expression, eventually backing down. “i don’t know, okay? it’s just… you’re hurt. i’m studying to work in a fucking hospital, so of course, i’m going to be bothered by an injury. you should’ve let it go.”
“then be bothered by other people’s injuries, not mine,” you reply, your voice stern as you look down at her, your gaze sharp. hanni shivers under your intense stare, breaking eye contact by shaking her head and scoffing quietly. you start packing up the first aid kit, your back to her as you add, “i’m staying in the room upstairs tonight. don’t come worrying your ass off.”
“fuck you,” hanni groans, crossing her arms defensively.
“go finish your show,” you mumble, brushing your shoulder against hers as you walk past without looking back. but hanni does—she turns around, catching you stomping towards the stairs in silence.
she pinches the bridge of her nose as she heads back to the couch, flopping down with a frustrated sigh. “see if i care…” she grumbles, resuming her show.
hanni tries to focus on the tension between the two leads on screen, but she can’t shake the tension between the two of you. it lingers, gnawing at her, and she finds herself angry at you but even angrier at herself. she can’t pinpoint why, but it frustrates her to the point of a near headache. 
hanni hates you, she hates how stupidly careless you are, how you’ve gotten hurt, and the fact that you’re making her worry.
she despises you.
-
your whole body is sore from what you had endured the night prior, but it doesn’t stop you from making a coffee in the morning. 
you lean against the counter and hold yourself up with your hand, clutching your shoulder with the other. it still hurts, it had hurt even more as you changed the bandaid waiting for your coffee to drop, but it had to happen.
as you pour a glass, you hear someone going down the stairs and the contact of their feet hitting the wooden floor reverberating throughout the quiet house. hanni comes into vision in a few seconds, rubbing her eyes and then tying up her bedhead to reveal a puffy face.
avoiding eye contact, you look away, leaving her with the view of the side of your face and the bandaid on your shoulder. 
it’s silent, yet the tension seems like a siren blaring in your ears. 
hanni walks past you, grabbing an empty glass before trudging over to the fridge. the sound of water filling the glass echoes in the quiet kitchen as you sip your coffee, the gulp a little too loud in the stillness. you can hear every step she takes, the soft shuffle as she leans against the counter across from you, the gentle clink of the glass as she brings it to her lips. each sip she takes seems to resonate, followed by a small sigh that hangs in the air. everything feels heightened— every sound, every movement — everything.
you turn around and make your way to the sink – right next to hanni – and dump the rest of your coffee down the drain because you can’t finish it in front of her. neither of you bat an eye at each other, despite your faces being a hand or two apart. hanni sips on her water, you let the running water fill the silence until you decide to say something.
“i’m going to work.”
“okay.”
“okay.” you respond, turning to finally catch a glimpse of her face again, side profile and all enhanced by the light.
you grab your work bag on the table and put on your cap, not batting an eye at her as you walk towards the door.
“wait,” hanni says suddenly, making you turn around again to face her. you raise your brows, expecting more from her. “don’t be reckless.” she adds, looking you dead in the eye.
you tense up, looking right back at her. 
“whatever.” you mumble, turning back around to leave.
not only did michael make you work from eight in the morning until three, he makes you clock out to see a text saying “hey, could you pick up hanni?” the same hanni that you had argued with last night because you were stubborn, in pain, and still angry at three assholes to the point that you had lashed out on his innocent granddaughter for no reason.
you’re in debt to michael forever (basically – in your mind that’s the case) so of course you respond with a small thumbs up emoji.
now you find yourself back in your car, on the way to the university hanni goes to, which, is conveniently and frighteningly the same university your friends go to. if they had caught you picking up a girl, who knows what remarks they’d bring to the table the next time you see them.
(it’s not the fact that it’s just a girl, it’s the fact that hanni isn’t ugly in the slightest, not at all.)
(pretty even, but that could be pushing it.)
(it’s not pushing it, not at all the more you think about it.)
(you decide to shake hanni off your mind.)
you park by the public health building, waiting for michael’s granddaughter to show up. you sigh, looking at all the students passing by and sighing even harder looking at the dumb couples hand in hand. the last time you tried loving, it made it hard to even consider being in something like that – being enamored.
you’re back to earth when you catch a girl with overgrown bangs in a oversized jersey and sweats in the distance. she’s grinning and giggling with two other women you don’t recognize, even pushing one in the shoulder and smiling wide.
it hits you that you’ve never seen her like this… joyful? it’s partly your fault, holding onto that stupid grudge you can’t let go of, but still, it’s strange seeing her so open. she crinkles her nose, laughs with her mouth wide, and throws her head back just a bit—it’s oddly cute, even adorable. something about it unsettles you, though, like you’re witnessing a side of her you were never meant to see. even then, you feel one corner of your lips turning up just barely.
she’s closer to the car, looking around as her friend says something inaudible. then she catches you in her field of vision and her smile falters slightly, it unsettles you even more.
“i’ll see you guys tomorrow, bye!” hanni waves to her two friends, then walks towards your car. she opens the door to the passengers side and takes off her bag before settling in. 
it’s silent when she closes it, other than the faint sound of your rnb playlist in the background and the click of hanni’s seatbelt. you shift the stick and start to get out of where you are, hanni looks forward and out the window.
once you make it to the stoplight before leaving the grounds, you take the opportunity the red light gives you to speak.
“i’m sorry.”
hanni turns her head at your sudden apology, looking at you like you’ve just spat nonsense.
“what?”
“i’m sorry for… being so,” you grip the wheel tighter, turning your head just a bit to meet her gaze. “you know, stubborn.”
“is this about last night?”
you gulp. “yeah.”
“oh, okay.” hanni says, looking back and watching the light turn green. 
you slowly hit the gas and turn the wheel. “i was really um, angry last night, from everything.” you start again, eyes on the road. “i didn’t mean to be a bitch.”
“look who’s self-aware.”
“shut the hell up.”
“what an apology.” hanni says, though not without smiling to herself a bit. she looks at the bandaid on your neck, then asks, “are you good?”
“i’m fine, it was just a scratch.”
“right.”
“i literally box, hanni.”
“with gloves and a ref.”
“wow! good eye.” you say bluntly, making her snicker a bit. hanni smiles, not quite like you had seen her smile before, but the way her lips turn make you smile yourself.
she looks out the window on her side for a bit, you keep driving and turn up the volume along the way.
“why did you start boxing?” she asks out of the blue. 
you glance at her for a split second, she’s still gazing out the window. “my grandpa boxed.”
“do you like it? doesn’t it hurt?”
“it’s–” you pause, thinking of a response that doesn’t reveal too much. “--thrilling. i mean, i just… bottle up a lot. it’s the only way i get all of it out.”
“is it?”
“i guess? kinda. you should box, seems like you’ve got a lot in that tiny body of yours.” you joke.
“i’d rather jump off a building.” hanni pretends to shiver. “i don’t know how you or yunjin do it.”
“you’d love it, just put on gloves and go crazy.”
she rolls her eyes, leaning against the glass as you turn the corner. 
the rest of the ride is silent.
two weeks later, you’re sitting down on the couch in your apartment and watching more of your grandpa’s matches. there’s something beautiful and equally as admirable in how swift and agile he is with each move, easily taking down anyone in his way. you replay certain moments, specifically his hooks that you tried your best to replicate.
in the middle of it all, you hear a knock on your door.
you turn, looking confused because why would anyone be at your place? maybe minjeong left something again, but she hasn’t been at your place in over a week.
you open the door, not minding that you’re literally in a sports bra and boy shorts looking like you’ve just gotten out at bed, and widen your eyes at the sight of hanni in your view.
hanni, on the other hand, tenses up at the sight of you. 
your whole body is on display, but not in the way yunjin does it—dressed to impress, ready to make out with whoever catches her eye at parties. yours is a different kind of exposure, casual and unintentional, almost domestic. it catches hanni off guard, all of it. her eyes trace the small strawberry tattoo just above your waistline, lingering on the subtle curve and tone of your abdomen. the way your skin glistens under the dimmed light overhead makes it even harder for her to look away.
she’s staring – blatantly. 
you clear your throat, leaning your head down a bit as you put your hand against the doorframe.
“what are you doing here?”
“what?” hanni shoots her head up to match your level. “oh, my grandpa needed something.”
“did he? shit… i borrowed his cooking shit for a house party–” you groan, “just come inside, sit down on the couch.”
hanni does as she’s told, you let her inside and she’s taken aback by how… neat it is. 
hanni always thought of you as someone angry and stubborn—your first impressions and the way you carried yourself made her believe you’d be disorganized, a bit all over the place. but now, sitting in your apartment, she realizes how wrong she was. the earthy tones, the carefully placed trinkets, the neatly arranged shelves, and the thoughtfully chosen furniture all speak to a side of you she didn’t expect. as she sits on the couch, her eyes drift to the small plant by your tv and the man locked in the middle of a match on the screen. she glances at the coffee table, stacked with boxing and vintage magazines. your place is nice, unexpectedly so.
you return with a box balanced against your side, holding it in place with one hand while you use the other to clear the coffee table. placing the box down, you settle into the smaller seat opposite her, leaning back with a sigh. you manspread casually, your posture relaxed as you take a moment to unwind. 
it’s oddly alluring, hanni thinks, she wants to stop thinking forever as soon as the thought even processes through her brain.
“that should be all of it.” you yawn and rub your eyes. “tell michael i said sorry for forgetting.”
“right, yeah.” hanni’s staring at you, she can’t seem to take her eyes off you, not when you look so… tolerable?
“did you need something else or…?”
“no,” hanni coughs, shaking her head. “but i need you to take me somewhere um, this saturday. my grandpa is gone for the weekend.”
“am i your uber now? i don’t know if i can, i’m going out on saturday.”
“oh, nevermind then.”
“where do you need to go?” you ask, “i can make arrangements, i guess.”
“a party”
“you party?” you snicker, looking at her amused. “i didn’t know you had a social life.”
“you are actually the most annoying person i know.” she grabs the box, then starts to stand. “nevermind, you ass.”
she starts to walk away, heading toward the door, but your touch halts her. hanni feels the gentle tug of your finger hooked around the back of her zip-up’s neckline, the fabric pulling her back slightly. she turns to face you, confusion etched in her expression as she meets your gaze.
“i’ll take you, loser.” you release your finger from her hoodie. “what’s your number?”
“my what?”
“number hanni, what you use to text and call people. one, two, three, four, five, six and so on… you know, the digits on your little phone.” your tone reminds her of a kindergarten teacher talking to a child, or some soft parenting method – it’s teasing and hanni would punch you if it weren’t for the box she was holding.
she manages to stomp on your foot, making you say ‘ow’ jokingly. then she gives you her number, you send a text, a simple ‘asshole’ and smiling when you hear the little buzz from her pocket.
“just text me the address, oh, and by the way,” you say, tugging lightly at the sleeve of her zip-up hoodie, your fingers brushing against the soft fabric. “where’d you get this?” your eyes trace the way it drapes over her, the oversized fit somehow flattering. it falls just past her waist, the sleeves hanging slightly, giving her a cozy, effortless look. maybe it’s just her that makes it work so well. maybe it’s just her.
she shrugs, muttering, “i don’t know, my grandpa gave it to me and said it’d fit.”
“it’s a little big on you,” you tease, a smirk playing on your lips. “might fit someone taller.”
“i will throw this box at you,” hanni groans, rolling her eyes. you laugh softly, opening the door for her, watching as she steps into the hallway.
“hey, hanni,” you call after her, making her pause and glance back. she tilts her head, curious, as you add with a mischievous grin, “that’s my zip-up, by the way.”
she freezes, her cheeks flushing as she processes your words. she looks down at the hoodie, suddenly aware of how comfortable it feels, how it smells faintly like you. you’re terrible, she thinks, hating the weird flutter in her stomach, the way her blush deepens. everything about you, your stupid remarks, your annoying personality, and that oddly cute nature—it all makes her feel things she can’t quite name, and it drives her crazy.
hanni hates you.
(just a little less now, or maybe more – she hates how confused you render her.)
you send hanni a simple ‘here.’ text and stand outside the door waiting for her, hands in your pockets as you look at the overgrown grass that needs to be cut soon – most likely by you. as much as you dread it, you’ll be getting some good food after, that’s always promised.
the door opens a few minutes later and hanni appears, you’re taken aback.
she’s fucking gorgeous.
a loose white baby t-shirt clings to her softly, revealing just a hint of her delicate stomach and the subtle curve that draws your eye without meaning to. her low-rise jeans ride low enough to show the waistband of her underwear, adding to the effortless appeal. when you finally look up at her, your lips part slightly, caught off guard by how striking she is. her full, plump lips are highlighted by a touch of makeup that emphasizes their natural shape. though her makeup is minimal, the slight smokiness around her eyes and the rosy blush on her cheeks bring out her features in a way that feels almost intimate. her bangs fall just above her eyes, partially obscuring her forehead, and the hoops in her ears add a finishing touch. everything about her compels you to take a second look, your heart skipping a beat in the process. 
“are you ready?” hanni breaks you out of your trance, you blink and then look past her. 
“yeah, sorry.”
she tries to read you, then shakes it off and walks past you and towards your car. you subconsciously look her up and down, furrowing your brows when it hits that you basically just checked her out.
was hanni always this… nice on the eyes?
hanni gets in the car first after you unlock it, you plop in the drivers seat check your messages, there’s an address in your groupchat with minjeong and the others. you decide to check it later, instead asking hanni to type her address in your phone, which is almost too similar to the one you had just seen in your notifications.
“hold on,” you mutter under your breath, staring at the address hanni had typed in and then at the one in your group chat. it’s the same address. “i think… we’re going to the same party.”
“you party?”
“okay you can’t ask me that, nerd. and yes, i do when i want.”
“whatever.” hanni rolls her eyes as you wait for the directions to pop up on your carplay screen. you take the time to settle your phone down in the cup holder, then gaze at hanni for a little, eyes flickering from her eyes to her lips once, then twice. hanni raises a brow, then asks bashfully, “what?”
“nothing,” you mumble, looking at her lips again. you reach her eyes one more time, making eye contact. “you just look really… good.” you admit, “i guess.”
“oh.” hanni just stares at you while you shift the car from ‘p’ to ‘d’, turning the car away from the curb and driving. she stares hard, focused on everything about you – from the satisfying curve of the side of your features to the sharp jawline of yours, and then to the skin of your abdomen that’s peeking out from the work jacket you have on.
she doesn’t say a word after that, instead scoffing playfully and making you smile softly. she puts on some random song from her playlist after forcefully taking the aux, accidentally playing a more intimate rnb song, making the tension in the air thicker.
you two make it to the house in less than ten minutes walking side by side. both of you can hear music blasting from inside, glancing at each other from the side and smiling to yourselves. 
“my god…” hanni scoffs.
“what, you don’t like astroworld? travis scott isn’t even that bad, they could be playing fucking… juice wrld or something.”
“i hear sicko mode playing every other day outside the food courts… no thanks. and ew! who plays juice wrld at a party?” 
you stifle a chuckle before walking over, hanni follows behind. you two make your way inside – the door had been unlocked already – and walk in. there’s more than just a handful of people, it’s like whoever hosted the function invited anyone they looked at. you spot your friends somewhere in the distance, locking eyes with aeri who smiles immediately after seeing you. 
you nudge hanni’s shoulder, she glares at you while you throw a cocky smirk and say, “text me when you wanna leave, i’m gonna be sober, trust.” hanni nods at you, catching the way your eyes linger on her for a few more seconds, especially at her revealed skin, then watches you leave.
she walks through the house, eventually finding her own group of friends – including yunjin. yunjin questions hanni, mentioning that she saw you earlier with her, asking if she was just more than tipsy and seeing things. but hanni sighs, pretending to be bothered by your presence as she explains a shorter version of how you two grew to tolerate each other. 
she leaves out the fact that maybe it’s because you’re just as charming and cute as you are annoying and cocky. she sugarcoats a lot about you, both the good and bad, making sure yunjin isn’t too bothered. thankfully, her older friend doesn’t mind, instead she shrugs and switches topics when minji arrives with haewon.
it’s been at least three hours of meeting a bunch of people from the university your friends – and coincidentally hanni – go to, playing beer bong without doing the whole drinking part, and for the past thirty minutes you’ve been watching minjeong flirt with girls from across the room and making stupid bets with aeri and jimin as she did so. ningning even snapped pictures of the tipsy flirt, making sure to remind herself to send it to the groupchat in the morning.
you check the time, brows raising at how late it is – nearly one in the morning.
“i’m going to find someone.”
“someone?” aeri raises her brows.
“it’s not like that, this girl i know.” you shove her playfully, then add, “might not be back, she has curfew – i’m giving her curfew, don’t trust her at all.”
“when did you get a girlfriend? let me meet her–”
“she’s not, shut up. i gotta go, i’ll text you or appear or something if i end up staying, see you.” you wave at your friends and then to the three others that had joined your little group conversation, lily? bae? yujin? you can’t remember clearly, but you’re probably right – you’re the only one with a functioning, sober brain in the moment anyway.
heading inside, you check your phone again. hanni texted you fifteen minutes ago saying she’d be waiting in the basement since her friends had left – most of them, the others were probably doing much more… thrilling things.
the basement wasn’t too hard to find. the music was loud, the room dimly lit, and the smell of alcohol mixed with something that is probably weed heavy in the air. you scan the room, jaw tightening and fists balling up when you catch some guy – the guy that you swear aeri was defending the night you got into a fight – all up on hanni.
what was his name? hongjoong? haneul? no, heeseung. that guy, heeseung, you catch him leaning in closer to hanni, his words drowned out by the music and his smile overly confident. hanni tried to laugh it off, but the discomfort was clear on her face. heeseung didn’t seem to notice, or maybe he didn’t care. he reached out to touch her arm, and that’s when rushed over and stepped in.
you pushed through the crowd, even the two guys about to lock lips, your heart pounding as you saw how close heeseung was getting. you knew he was drunk, and that made him unpredictable. you couldn’t stand by and watch this happen.
“hey man, back off,” you said firmly, stepping between him and hanni.
heeseung’s eyes narrowed as he looked at you. “what’s your problem? we’re just having fun.”
“she’s not interested,” you replied, keeping your voice steady. “leave her alone.”
heeseung’s expression darkened, and before you could react, he shoved you hard, making you stumble back. your instincts kicked in, and you quickly regained your footing, shoving him back with equal force.
“you wanna go, huh?” heeseung taunted, his voice dripping with bravado as he squared up to you.
the crowd around you started to take notice, some backing away while others watched with eager anticipation. you knew this wasn’t going to end well, it never does when you’re involved, but there was no turning back now, not with hanni on the line and at risk. 
you didn’t want to fight, not really, but heeseung swung first, a wild punch that you barely dodged. now you have to fight him, it’s what you train yourself for anyway. 
you retaliated, landing a solid hit to his side and yelling through the music, “back the fuck up.” but it only seemed to anger him more. hanni hides behind you, stepping back as you put a hand out to keep her away from the intoxicated asshole in front of you.
he lunges at you and you feel a sharp sting on your side, followed by the warmth of blood trickling down your ribcage. heeseung had managed to land a hit that split the skin over your rib, his ring slicing what wasn’t covered by your sports bra and jacket. you didn’t have time to dwell on it; you were so focused on keeping hanni away from him that you didn’t even notice the fist hurling at your face while you looked back to check on her. you could taste the metallic tang of blood in your mouth, realizing he had hit your nose 
but you weren’t backing down. you pushed through the pain, throwing another punch that connected with heeseung’s jaw, sending him stumbling back. he tried to come at you again, but you were quicker, sidestepping his attack and delivering a powerful hook to his gut. heeseung doubled over, gasping for breath, and you took the opportunity to finish the fight.
with one last punch, you sent him crashing to the floor. he groans in pain, clutching his side as he lay there, defeated. you stood over him, breathing heavily. your body hurts, there’s blood dripping down on the wooden floor below you, and there’s still the taste of metal in your mouth. 
hanni rushes over to you, her eyes wide with concern as she saw the blood on your side and face. “y/n, are you okay?” she asks, her voice trembling.
your breath shakes, then you wipe the blood from your nose with the back of your hand. “it’s nothing,” you replied, though the pain was starting to set in. “we should go.”
hanni didn’t argue. she helped you out of the crowded room, the two of you leaving heeseung behind as he lay there, too stunned and beaten to follow.
she also doesn’t say a word as you walk away from the fight with a bloody nose and cut skin over the skin of your rib as well as on the corner of your lip. she doesn’t say a word as she follows you to the car, but to be fair, you hadn’t let her anyway.
your breath is shaky the whole way back, you gasp as you flop against the headrest of the car.
“y/n, are you okay?” you don’t respond to her inquiry. instead, you grip the wheel tightly, eyes fixed on the road, and bite down on your back teeth. there’s an unreadable expression on your face, you’re angry and hurt and god knows what else; there’s so much going on with you that hanni can’t point out. 
hanni doesn’t want to feed the fire, you look like you’ll punch anything if she even considers saying another word. she just stares ahead, letting you drive back to her place, following you after you slam the door of your car and lock it, walking in behind you as you open the door without looking back.
“you’re okay, right?” you ask quietly, voice practically a hum. “he didn’t touch you or anything, did he?
“no, he didn’t.” she stares at your back after you take off your work jacket, throwing it at the couch. “you’re–”
“i’m going to stay the night, i’ll be in the shower.”
“i–” hanni watches you disappear up the stairs, then her features relax into defeat.
some of your clothes are still in the room you used to stay in, you grab an old black t-shirt and throw it on, along with your old high school gym shorts. 
everything hurts. your body is a mess of bruises and cuts, but it’s your heart that aches the most. your chest tightens with a mix of regret and self-loathing, each breath a painful reminder of how stupid you were to get into a fight with another drunk idiot. the fact that it all happened in front of hanni makes your stomach churn. you can’t shake the image of her wide eyes, the surprise—maybe even fear?—etched across her face as she watched you throw punches and take hits right in front of her.
there’s a gnawing doubt that settles deep in your mind. did she think less of you for losing control like that? did it make you seem weaker in her eyes because you’d gotten hurt in a reckless, impulsive moment? you replay the scene over and over, each time the look on her face twists the knife in your gut a little more. it shouldn’t bother you, none of it should, you fight for fun, you’ve fought her fucking friend – but still, your flop onto the bed with a groan.
you wonder what she’s thinking now, if she’s disappointed or disgusted, if she sees you differently after witnessing your bruised and battered state. the thought that she might judge you, might see you as less capable, gnaws at you relentlessly. what if she thinks you’re just some bigger asshole than you already are to her, one who can’t control their temper, who gets beat up by nobodies in a drunken brawl? 
you shoot up when you hear a knock on the door, staring straight at it until it opens slowly to reveal hanni in the universities crewneck sweatshirt and shorts, as well as a first aid kit in one hand and an ice pack in the other.
“hey.”
“what do you want?”
“sit up.”
“hanni–”
“are you ever not an asshole? what did i say? sit up straight.” her tone is venomous, you’ve never heard her this serious or angry – seriously angry, angrier than when you spilled coffee on yunjin that one time. “please, just please listen to me for once.”
“fine.”
she sits down next to you, watching you shrink a bit just from her being there. she sets down the first aid kit, you watch her open it and grab a little wipe. then your gaze is redirected when she grabs your chin and moves it, facing it towards her as she examines close, making you gasp and you even feel your cheeks heating up. 
hanni gently cradles your chin between her thumb and pointer finger, her touch firm but surprisingly tender. she carefully dabs at the blood on your lip, her focus intent as if the world outside this moment doesn’t exist. when she lets go, there’s an unexpected pang of disappointment in the pit of your stomach, a slight desire for her touch to linger just a little longer.
but then, she holds you again, tilting your head slightly upward as she tends to the small cut on your lip. her fingers are cool against your skin, and you can’t help but wince at the sting. her expression softens, a brief flicker of concern crossing her face, but she doesn’t say anything. the silence between you is thick, loaded with everything unsaid, as she continues to care for you with a careful, almost hesitant touch.
“you’re an idiot, you know.” hanni says lowly, eyes focused on that little wound. “but less of an asshole.”
“what?” you inhale sharply when hanni presses harder on the cut, most likely intentionally. “ouch.”
“you’re hurt, and it’s because of me. i understand if you’re mad at me for that.”
you pull away, looking at her in disbelief. “what? i’m not mad at you.”
“really?”
“you dumbass.” you start, hanni just stares. “i don’t care about getting hurt, i just… i got so angry, and then he swung and… i just… i don’t know.” you grip the edge of the bed, avoiding her gaze. “i just didn’t want you hurt. i seriously don’t care that i’m hurt, i don’t care at all, i’d take another punch or two if it meant you being safe.”
“really?”
“i mean, yeah. you’re… i don’t know. why would i not do that?”
“i didn’t know you cared for me like that.”
“of course i do hanni.” the words slip out before you can stop them, carrying a weight you didn’t intend. you meet her eyes, your expression showing some sort of longing, exposing something unclear to both you and hanni, maybe unspoken or unknown feelings. your voice, soft and genuine, takes hanni by surprise. “i mean,” you quickly add, clearing your throat as your voice drops to a murmur, “you’re… you know. i couldn’t just let heeseung do that.”
“right,” hanni whispers, studying your face before resuming her careful attention to the cut on your lip. “um, your bruise looks rough, by the way.”
but the bruise doesn’t matter. the pain had faded the moment she touched you, the moment you became hyperaware of every little detail—the way your breath caught each time her thumb brushed against your skin, the soft part of her lips, the way she looked at you with that unreadable expression. she looks really beautiful, and you find yourself utterly captivated, unable to think of anything else but how you’re drawn to her, completely entranced by her presence.
hanni doesn’t hear a response from you, she looks up to meet your eyes, they’re staring deep into hers, brows upturned in the slightest. you two stare at each other for a moment again, hanni’s fingers still on your skin, the wipe in her hand hovering over the corner of your lip, and blush tinting both of your cheeks simultaneously. 
even with the ice pack pressed against your bruise, it feels like your skin is so warm that the ice is melting faster than it should. hanni takes your hand and places it over the pack, guiding you to hold it there. then, without a word, she reaches for the water bottle on the bedside table, setting it within easy reach before grabbing a bottle of tylenol from the kit. did they always have that in there? you really don’t care, not when hanni is carefully placing a tylenol pill at your lips and gently tapping your jaw twice.
“open,” she murmurs, her voice soft and comforting. you comply, opening your mouth just enough for her to slide the pill onto your tongue. she follows up by lifting the water bottle to your lips, helping you take a sip. you swallow, feeling the cool water slide down your throat. “good,” she whispers, her eyes lingering on your lips before meeting your gaze. she smiles, and it’s like everything else fades away.
something shifts in the air between you two, a subtle but undeniable change that makes your heart race, something that won’t easily fade. you’re certain now—whatever this is, it’s here to stay.
“can you lift your shirt up for me? i’m going to patch up your cut, okay?” you nod, keeping the ice pack on your bruise as you lift the shirt just enough for hanni to see the cut – still fresh – and furrow her brows just a bit. nonetheless, she grabs things you don’t pay attention to from the kit, then starts to work her magic.
(“when you love someone, taking care of them is never a problem. i love you y/n, and your grandpa; taking care of you two is nothing of a problem. maybe it’s rotten work for some people, but for the people i love? never.”)
her features etch into concentration, she bites the inside of her lip just barely, and it’s familiar in a bittersweet way.
(“you know y/n, i won’t be here forever.” your grandma’s voice rings in your head. “when you grow older i want you to find someone who will take care of you like that, and it’s your job to take care of them too.”)
she finishes tending to the cut, her knuckles grazing the bandage before she says, “you’re really tough, y/n.” 
the softness in her tone, the evident care, how she’s handled you so sweetly; you feel your eyes watering and before you know it there’s tears sliding down your cheek. hanni doesn’t notice until you sniffle, she looks up at you, surprised to see you in the vulnerable state.
“oh my god, are you okay? did it hurt? you should've told me–”
your voice cracks as you say, “you’re just like her.”
“y/n, what?”
“hanni, you’re, you–” you cut yourself off, bototm lip trembling as you fight back more tears. 
what catches hanni offguard again is the sudden hug she’s being pulled into, feeling your arms wrap around her, holding her close. hanni freezes, but melts into you, rubbing your back and mumbling soft reassurance, “it’s okay, it’s okay i’m– i’m here.”
“you don’t think i’m weak, do you?”
“of course not, you beat someone up for me.”
“good.”
“you’re stronger than everyone i know. you’re anything but weak.” she assures, hearing you sniffle again.
hanni is confused to say the least, but she’s not going ot let go until you’re ready, she’d stay with you the whole night if you asked, really.
you haven’t broken down in years, every punching bag you’ve ever come across has already met everything you’ve bottled up and left unsaid. but something about hanni and her care, it left you crying in her arms to the point where she had to pull away to wipe your tears here and there.
hanni listened to you talk about your grandma, her dying in your arms, her care, her, really the whole latter. she listened to everything, sitting there next to you even when you couldn’t speak and all you could do was stare right at the ground. it was almost like every grudge had fizzled away into nothing, there wasn’t any space for that anymore.
you chuckle, regaining awareness of the whole situation. you feel like an idiot. “i’m sorry you had to hear my sob story.”
“it’s nothing, seriously.” she squeezes your hand tightly. “i just want you to be okay.”
“it’s just, you remind me of her a little, i can’t remember the last time i cried like that. she said something to me once and… i guess seeing it in real time made me break down like a loser.”
hanni tended to you like no one else did, no doctor or nurse you’ve seen has ever done anything like that other than give you a little warning that boxing is dangerous and to be careful not to overtrain yourself. no one has held you like that, looked at you like that, or even spoken to you like that since your grandma.
“you’re not a loser y/n, all those times i called you an asshole, it’s just because of that stupid grudge i had.” she explains. “don’t beat yourself up over it.”
you and hanni have made up after that night, it took a while for you to open up fully and stop avoiding her due to your embarrassment, but it worked out.
you pick up hanni after her classes nearly everyday, michael makes you work hours that let you do so, he seems to enjoy your growing bond. 
sometimes you wait inside your car near whichever building she’s in with a drink or meal just because, and sometimes you two end up at your place for a short bit of time just to mingle and hangout. it’s a growing routine, a recurring thing that you’re fond of.
hanni’s noticing a more vulnerable, caring side of you. before all of this, she’s seen you as some fighter with anger issues, but you’re just like that on the outside. when she’s inside your skin, she’s exposed to the more calm side of you, the side that’s not always on edge, the side that makes her swoon a little bit – she’s always found you alluring no matter how hard she tried to deny it, but now that your real self is constantly in front of her; you’re someone she can’t help but smile at everytime she sees you.
she takes pictures of you rarely, but each one is favorited just because she’s telling herself that they’re funny moments worth looking back on, even if some of them are just you doing domestic things or even driving. she even mentions you to her friends sometimes, sometimes, even to yunjin (who isn’t against this whole growing bond, the rivalry had died down anyway, it was just a tournament for money) which caught her by surprise. 
hanni found herself seeking you out more often, even if it meant enduring the relentless thumping of your fists against the sandbags and the blare of your obnoxiously loud music while she tried to study. it was a small price to pay for those fleeting moments where she could catch a glimpse of you – she kind of (really) enjoyed watching you workout to the point where she’d fake complaints.
“ugh, i have a longass lecture tomorrow. please keep it down, it’s in the morning.”
“and i need to stay in shape you loser.”
“you can go a day without it, just skip today, please?”
you stop your movements, breathing in deeply to catch your breath before looking at her.
she’s wearing her glasses again, and something about them makes her look especially cute. her hair is braided into two neat plaits that hang off her shoulders, framing her face perfectly. when she looks at you, there’s a hint of playful annoyance in her expression, though it only makes you smile wider. your grin broadens even more as you take in the full picture of her—she’s drowned in oversized clothes and you can’t help but be captivated.
“is that my t-shirt?”
hanni looks down at her top, then stutters, “i- i don’t know? i just grabbed it…”
“you’re a thief, that’s what.”
“shut up oh my god.” she groans.
you chuckle, then take your gloves off and hand them to her, she looks at you confusedly. “put them on.” you urge, watching her look at you like you’re stupid. “c’mon now.”
“what?” she feels you grabbing her hands, you place the gloves on yourself for her, then push her towards the sandbag. “i’m not going to–”
“take a hit, it’s a stress reliever.”
“y/n please–”
“go on,” you smirk, raising your brows. “your grandpa was great, you have to have inherited some of his skills.” she immediately punches you in the shoulder, causing you to pout playfully.
with a sigh, she gets into a fighting stance that nearly makes you burst out laughing. she throws a punch—surprisingly decent—then looks at you expectantly.
“happy?” she asks, a dumbfounded expression on her face.
“fix your form,” you murmur, moving behind her to adjust her arms. hanni’s breath catches slightly as you correct her stance, your hands steadying her waist before tapping her thigh to shift her leg back. “there you go, but don’t stay so loose. someone’s going to knock you over.”
“it’s not like i’m going to fight anyone soon—” mid-sentence, you give her a gentle shove, causing her to stumble and lose her balance. “hey!”
“stay tense. if i’d used all my strength, you would’ve hit the ground,” you giggle, helping her back into position. she blushes as you guide her, the warmth of your hands lingering on her waist, making her hyper-aware of every touch. “okay?” your breath hits teh back of her ear and she shivers.
“yeah, whatever.” she says before punching again, a better one for that matter.
“you’re actually not bad.”
“are you lying to me?”
“a little.” you joke, then smile at her. “you’re cute.” you say under your breath.
“what did you say?”
“nothing.”
hanni had heard you say it, but she doesn’t push further. 
���
the next time you pick hanni up, you decide to head out onto her campus and find your friends before picking her up. her class ends in thirty minutes anyway, and ningning had promised to buy you coffee the next time she had seen you.
you stand near your car with her, leaning against the brick wall beside her with your hand against it as you sip on the latte she had bought you. you stare at the cup, impressed by the quality.
“this is good.”
“i know right.” she agrees, taking another sip. “jesus, your lip is still busted.”
“is it?” you ask, feeling ningnings thumb grazing the injury. “it feels fine.”
“it’s still dark. heeseung got you good, didn’t he?” 
“shut up, i knocked him out, that’s what matters.” you roll your eyes and hear her laugh. she pushes your shoulder playfully, laughing even more.
hanni walks towards your car only to see you not inside, which throws her off. she looks around, scanning the area for a bit until her eyes land on you leaning against the wall with a girl. she feels her heart sink a bit just watching her touch your lip and push you lightly. you laugh at her and smile, making the weird feeling in her stomach even worse.
she walks over and taps your shoulder, earning the attention from the two of you as she clears her throat. 
“hey, i had trouble finding you.” hanni says, then looks at ningning, almost glaring. “who’s this?”
“oh, a friend.” you simply state, then wave at the girl beside you. “i got to get going, let’s catch up soon again, okay?
“mhm, see you n/n.” she winks at you and you have to fight back a gag. hanni feels like there’s a pit in her stomach.
the two of you get into your car, but it’s odd considering hanni hasn’t insulted you or even said anything. she just gets inside and looks out the window while you turn on the car, you raise a brow.
“is everything okay? bad day or…?”
“you into her?”
“what? no. don’t be ridiculous.”
“she kept touching your lip.” hanni scoots closer to the window, not daring to look at you. “i think she wants you.”
“you’re actually an idiot.” you sigh, shrugging her off as you start to drive away.
hanni stays silent the rest of the car ride, not saying much other than responding to your questions bluntly. you don’t know what’s gotten into her.
you’re very aware that it’s easy to piss hanni off, or maybe that’s just because it’s you. 
half the time it’s really just you being playfully irritating, she’s never actually been mad at you in months. but these days, ever since you picked her up that one time after hanging with ningning, she’s been distant, avoidant even.
hanni stays cooped up in her room, you even knock on her door after training to ask to grab a bite or really just anything. hanni’s always throwing the same excuses at you, she never did this before, but now her university work suddenly keeps her away from you.
you knock at her door again, opening it to find her in bed on her phone.
“you busy?”
“who’s asking.”
“what the hell is up with you?” you sigh, walking over to sit next to her. “i just wanted to ask if you wanted fruit. your grandpa cut some for me, like, so much. do you want to eat it together?”
hanni's grown fond of the way you look at her, something she never expected to happen. there's a warmth in your gaze that catches her off guard, especially when you give her those pleading eyes, head tilted just so, with your hair falling perfectly to frame your face. even then, as she shakes her head, she can’t ignore the little flutter in her chest. despite everything, there's an undeniable allure in the way you look at her now, one that she's finding harder to resist.
the whole reason she’s been giving you the cold shoulder is because the realization hit her as soon as you leather tend to your injuries: she likes you, she likes you so goddamn much. seeing you with ningning the other day made her realize that she likes you too much, so much that the fact that someone likes you, and you might like them – this ‘ningning’ makes her heartache.
for fucks sake, she’s a nursing student, she can’t be wallowing away because of a crush.
“not hungry.”
“have you even eaten?”
“yeah.”
“you liar.” you get up, looking at her worryingly and fighting back the words you want to say. “i’m heading out then, i’ll pick you up tomorrow after school.”
“you don’t have to.”
“i’m going to, don’t leave me hanging.” you give hanni a serious look, tightening your jaw before letting a small huff out. she avoids your gaze, turning on her side in her bed, then catching the sight of you leave as soon as your back is turned towards her.
-
you cannot believe what you’re watching unfold right now. 
hanni, hanni, hanni who you beat up a man for, is in the distance talking to that same man you beat up. heeseung is saying something to her that you can’t catch, hanni’s giving him a smile, and you would’ve gotten out of the car to smack him in the face if hanni weren’t already walking towards you.
she gets inside, you look at her like a police officer interrogating a criminal.
“was that him?”
“oh, it’s nothing.”
“hanni.” you start, but decide to close your eyes tight, poke your tongue at your cheek, and simply start to back out of your parking spot. “we’ll talk about this later, we’re going to my place.”
“yours?”
“we’re going to talk.”
“you’re abducting me.” hanni raises a brow, if it were coming from anyone else it would for sure be mildly concerning. “you’re kidnapping me.”
“yes.”
-
you two make it inside and as soon as hanni is in after you, you shut the door and cross your arms.
hanni heads over to your little kitchen and grabs a waterbottle from your fridge, then leans against the counter.
“what did i do?” you ask, walking over to her. “did i piss you off in the wrong way again? did i say something wrong?”
“what are you talking about?”
“don’t give me that, you’ve been avoiding me.”
“no i haven’t.”
“then why haven’t you been over to watch your stupid shows at my place in the past two weeks hanni.” you step closer, sizing up with her and drilling through her skull with your eye contact. “why haven’t we gone out for smoothies in the past two weeks, why haven’t we had a full conversation in two weeks, and hell, why were you talking to heeseung earlier.”
hanni gulps the water she’s sipped, turning her head away, but you use two fingers to redirect her attention back to you. hanni feels her breath shake when she exhales.
“i, it’s nothing. and besides, heeseung was just… asking me out, saying sorry and whatnot but i didn’t give him my number or anything.”
“so you rejected him?”
“i mean, i just told him i’ll think about it.”
you laugh, you laugh because this is fucking ridiculous. 
“he beat me up hanni, he punched a woman – me – right in the face and gave me a bruise. you said you’d ‘think about it?’” 
“what does it matter to you! you already have that ningning, why do you care about me?”
you pause, looking at her confused. “is all this shit because of ningning? she’s just my friend.”
“well you look at her like it’s something more!” hanni blurts, looking stressed.
“it’s not– hanni, you’re being ridiculous.”
“am i? because she was touching your lip and pushing your shoulder and it seemed like you enjoyed being around her sooooo much–”
“and because of this you’ve been avoiding me? and you’re really going to consider seeing a guy who beat my ass up.” you can’t believe what you’re saying, you can’t believe any of this.
“what, i can’t do my own shit now?”
she can’t, she can’t because only you should be doing that shit with her. you’re looking at her like she’s crazy, utterly confused as you scan her features. for a split second, she looks at you like she’s reconsidering things, like she’s longing or something. 
then it hits you, it hits you after you run through every mental note of hanni: she’s jealous, she’s jealous of you because she thinks you and ningning have something going on. 
you pause, stepping closer until there’s hardly any space between you. leaning in, you narrow your eyes at her, voice dropping low. “because,” you murmur, placing one hand on her waist while the other gently cups her jawline. her breath hitches, and you can feel the tension in her neck, but she doesn’t pull away. instead, she drops her gaze to your lips, then down to your collarbone, avoiding your eyes. you tilt her chin up, forcing her to meet your gaze. your eyes trace over her flustered expression – flushed cheeks and parted lips – and you let out a sigh. “because it should be me you’re thinking about seeing, asshole.”
her hand slides to your upper chest, sliding up to your collarbone before you kiss her.
you kiss her like you want her, like you need her and she kisses back with the same force. she reels you in closer and melts into you without thinking. hanni smells like pears and a sunday morning, you could die like this.
she parts to catch her breath, shivering when your hand trickles right under her shirt and your skin grazes against her own. her eyes are still closed when she says, “you’re not with ningning, are you?”
“i’d rather get hit by a bullet train than do anything with her.” you mutter, then pull her closer by the waist. “i want you to be the one i’m kissing, it’s always been you dumbass.”
hanni kisses you again, pulling you in with her arms wrapped around your neck. 
it’s been two hours, you’ve had your lips on hanni for at least two thirds of that time.
but now, on your couch after two long weeks, hanni is by your side leaning against you. she’s always been hesitant with physical touch when it came to you, but after making out with you – with you closer than ever to her, hovering above as her back rests on the cushion of your couch – she doesn’t have to be hesitant whatsoever.
“i don’t understand,” your lips are still swollen, you can feel the swell as you speak. “so is does he want her or not?” you ask, pointing to the two leads on the tv.
“he does but it’s like, complicated.”
“literally how.”
“she dated his brother, and i think she also likes girls.”
“you’re kidding.”
“i swear.” hanni says, eyes focused on the screen. 
“whatever.” you don’t really care, not as much as she does about this show. but that doesn’t stop you from putting an arm around her and looping her hair around your finger, then smiling to yourself. hanni scoots closer into you, and an episode later you’re laying on top of her, fighting sleep as her fingers comb through your hair and press into your scalp relaxingly.
(your grandma was onto something, maybe there was someone out there that you could love and be loved by just as much as her.)
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