#i havent been thinking about it much but idk. sometimes it just pops into your head and you get reminded that she isnt here anymore

[arielluva]

grief is such a weird emotion bc i can be fine most of the time even if it think about it, but then sometimes thinking about it digs it up all over again

[hyperfiiixate]

the greasers and their favourite the garden songs because they are some of my interests and i will talk about them in conjunction with each other !!!!!

(and you will have to deal with that)

dallas: he would love all the scream-y songs, especially since he would probably walk around with a speaker blasting them just to piss people off.

songs such as:

- hit eject

- please fuck off

- sneaky devil

- vexation

- kiss my super bowl ring

- what else could i be but a jester

- grass

- lowrider slug

- a struggle

- at the campfire

- devour

- all smiles over here :)

- a fools expedition

- interrupt

- have a good day sir

- horseshit on route 66

- orange county punk rock legend

- the king of cutting corners

- call the dogs out

- puerta de limosina

- OC93

- literally just the entire kmsbr album

yeah u get the gist. (i have thought so much about dallas’ favourite the garden songs because he is just ??? so ???? the garden ?????? like if he were a teenager in 2024 he would love the garden. rip dallas winston you would have loved the garden) (he would also love their side projects turkey and penalty kill)

ponyboy: he likes to go digging on youtube, band camp and soundcloud for all of their songs that aren’t on spotify and also search for any vada vada lost media. loves a lot of their earlier stuff. has to listen to the garden with headphones because they’re too annoying for darry (😞). idk these songs have his vibe:

- no destination

- a message for myself

- make yer mark

- everything is perfect

- express - sector 28

- circles

- the life and times of a paperclip

- life as a hanger

- what we are

- together we are great

- freight yard

(i didnt rlly think about ponyboys favourites and i havent listened to all of their unreleased stuff YET so when i get around to that i will definitely edit this post with more for ponyboy)

johnny: doesn’t rlly listen to the garden but has picked up a few songs that he likes because he listens with dally or ponyboy (there will be very few songs here sorry !! i feel like he would love their solo projects more (enjoy + puzzle) because sonically they have his vibe. especially enjoy) (i will probably make a post about their favourite enjoy + puzzle songs) anyway here:

- egg (his all time favourite the garden song ever)

- make this a challenge - we like you

- the apple

- birds nest

- chainsaw the door

- fix

- aunt j

- gumdrops

- i’ll stop by tomorrow night

- crystal clear

yeah !!!! he doesn’t listen to them a whole lot but when he does with dally or pb he makes sure to queue these songs. tbh he would be an avid enjoy listener with a bit of puzzle sprinkled in too. he doesn’t use spotify that often and just listens to his liked songs on shuffle play

two bit: I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS ONE!!!! he loves all the goofy sounding ones with random ass sound effects that just pop up unexpectedly. loves the songs that have the biggest clown vibes and will listen to the garden with soda and steve at the dx. also tried (and failed) to get marcia to listen to the garden. anyway his faves:

- call this # now

- play your cards right

- california here we go

- u want the scoop?

- clay

- all access

- :(

- shameless shadow

- banana peel

- stylish spit

- good news

- thy mission

- haunted house on zillow

- at the campfire

- make a wish

- stallion

- the whole mmsyc album

- haha

- red green yellow

- i guess we’ll never know

- everything has a face

- what else could i be but a jester

yeah. loves himself a good goofy sound effect or two (or more). his taste scares darry a bit (he doesn’t see the appeal for the garden (tasteless)) and he definitely blasts these with dallas to annoy people

sodapop: he likes all the songs that got popular on tiktok lets be honest here, but he’s just a casual listener like johnny, and will sometimes pick up songs from ponyboy or twobit that he likes. mainly listens to the garden when repairing cars at the dx because they make “good car repairing music” (whatever that means). his favourites:

- this could build us a home

- call this # now

- california here we go

- clay

- chainsaw the door

- haha

- freight yard

- thy mission

- horseshit on route 66

- shameless shadow

yeah just likes the popular stuff, he never rlly got into the garden

steve: just likes the same songs soda likes because he too never rlly got too into the garden and those are the songs he’s only rlly listened to. makes fun of ponyboy for nerding out about finding all the obscure songs at any chance he can get (sorry steve)

ALTHOUGH he does have one song that is unique from sodapop’s taste:

- OC93

that’s it. that’s steve’s favourite the garden song that is unique form soda’s favourites and tbh he’s so valid for that

darry: “i can’t listen to that right now i have a headache, turn it off!!” would rather eat rocks than listen to the garden because they annoy him too much. made it a rule that ponyboy and soda could only listen to the garden when he’s out of the house or they are out of earshot from him. HOWEVER !!!! he likes one of their songs!! he can tolerate one song!!!!

- california here we go

YAY!!!! he has taste we must admit, but also his entire music taste would just be either classical music, old soft rock songs or rain sounds.

yeah thanks for reading if u did sorry i needed to ramble about this desperately AGAGDHSJA

[roseworth]

hi lauren 😌 ok if dc were to ever make the elusive jason and rose outlaws team, who would you choose as the third member

hiiiiii im sorry this took a few days to get to i put a lot of thought into it <///3

so first of all. my #1 dream outlaws team is jason rose connor kara lorena. im not even exaggerating when i say i have thought about this team (whose dynamics i mostly made up) at least once a day for MONTHS. i know some of those characters being on a team together doesnt make sense but you just have to trust me. it all makes sense in my rich inner world. and someday i may get into it but i have a lot to say

but if im abiding by outlaws tradition of a trio. i have multiple options of who besides jay & rose.

eddie: obvious answer. hes been friends with both of them so its very common to put him in outlaws. HOWEVER.... i dont really see him as an outlaw. im including him in this list because i like the idea of the three of them together but i dont think he would really fit on an outlaws team. hes kinda just a normal hero and i dont think he would be super into the whole idea of killing people the way jason and rose do

kyle: i just think that the dynamic of jason rose & kyle would be SO funny. disasters. rose with kyle is "he was nice to me like 8 years ago so hes my best friend forever" while jason and kyle. you know. are the most annoying people ever. plus kyles views on killing are sorta "i dont do it unless i really want to but i think its cool" so he would tolerate them

steph: this would be so much fun. mwsl gave me minor crumbs of a jason rose & steph team up and i havent been the same since. steph can be a little bit murderous as a treat and jason & rose are enablers. idk i just think being an outlaw could be good for her

roy: HEAR ME OUT. SHUT UP AND HEAR ME OUT. i could fix rhato roy. my thought is roy post-cry for justice where hes mourning his daughters death and pushing everyone else away. and jason & rose go "quit your job join our emo band" and he becomes an outlaw bc he wants to be Angsty and Away From Heroes but jason & rose are like "sweet we have a responsible adult now 👍" and. roy cannot be around people younger than him without accidentally becoming an older brother figure. also roy & rose make me go crazy so im doing this for ME

eddie fyers: this popped into my head as i talked about eddie bloomberg earlier and i cant stop thinking about it. can you fucking imagine

artemis: yeah yeah she was already an outlaw. but what if she was again in a cooler more homosexual way. jason & artemis had a good dynamic sometimes in rhato 2016 when lobdell wasnt being weird, and rose & artemis would be so much fun given that rose loves to pick fights and artemis would be able to pick her up and throw her. to me it would be good and i want these two to interact

grace choi: okay listen. i just really liked her in outsiders 2003. as a treat to me i think she should be worse. canon toxic dyke getting worse because of a non canon toxic dyke and her boytoy freak

dana harlow: DANA COME BACK. she was the best ever for the two (2) issues shes been in. and rose & dana would be soooooo good and i need it so bad

but ideal jason & rose dynamic is this↓ so maybe its better for everyone if they have a red hood & ravager team up. hand in unlovable hand.

[princesssmars]

cuffing season

a jim hopper x reader fic

el has been begging hopper to go see a concert of some new up and coming artist. hopper doesnt get the hype until he finally hears you sing.

wc : 1.266

contains: reader is famous and kind of. an 80s sza i guess ??? idk u perform cuffin season and hopper is whipped.

- s/n : stage name -

a/n: as soon as i heard this song i think we all thought of him. confirmed byt the dozens of edits ive seen and shared so yall saw this coming. enjoy.

.

.

.

hopper loved jane with all his heart. her entrance into his life gave a new meaning to his world; a new sense of purpose (even if he sometimes likes to act like an all-tough macho man, almost everyone he was close to saw him for the big softie at heart he was.)

but god damn was raising a teenage daughter hard.

he gave it his all and he could tell that she knew it, remembering to say thank you after every nice gesture. she often liked to throw in a little hug as well. he was lucky she was a sweetheart.

but of course given her upbringing in a government lab and being suddenly thrust into the modern world, she wanted more. she wanted to fit in.

so hop wasnt surprised when she asked to go to her first concert.

she had seen a commercial on the television for it at mikes house while hanging with the party, the artist being a woman called s/n who was going to perform some of her songs that had become very popular recently. hopper only listened to his favorite stations, so hes never heard of her songs on the radio.

but, it was the middle of fall nearing winter, and there wasnt much to do in hawkins this time of year, so he reluctantly agreed to drive jane and the party to indianapolis to go see the concert.

(hes barely able to survive the drive. he loves these kids but jeez could they talk about everything but nothing for hours.)

eventually they check in at their overnight hotel before heading to the outdoor venue, their seats being more near the stage.

(this trip cost quite a pretty penny but only the best he could get for them of course.)

its chilly and even snowing a bit but none of the people here even seem to mind, most on the edge of their seats while waiting for the show to start.

jane and max are excitedly whispering amongst themselves while the boys watch on and occasionally join in.

as the lights start to dim in preparation for the show, hopper catches dustin bouncing on the balls of his feet with a big smile on his face.

"what are you so giddy about? probably just gonna be some regurgitated pop songs..." hopper mumbles, confused at the boys excitement.

"no way! you obviously havent heard her most recent song. ever since it came out girls have been all over me. im dedicated to susie but its super cool."

hopper is about to ask him to elaborate when the screams of hundreds suddenly rings out, the lights on stage coming back up to officially start the performance.

when the lights turn on and the music starts, hopper can feel his breath get caught in his throat at the sight of you.

you, probably the most gorgeous woman hes ever seen, looking like an angel in a red fur coat ready to bless the masses. hes too busy staring straight at you that he barely registers your greeting to the audience, and only starts to pay attention when you start singing.

its cuffing season

and all the girls are leavin

to get a big boy

i need a big boy

give me a big boy

your lyrics and the confidence you give while saying them makes his face flush like a damn teenager. he cant remember the last time (or any time for that matter) where he heard a song targeting someone built like him, most songs in the radio desiring someone younger, thinner, and more muscular.

there are other woman singing/rapping along with you saying little jokes about bigger guys that granted do make him chuckle a bit. but even though your part in the song is small, he mostly keeps his eyes on you.

near what hes sure is the closing of the song, as you sing your repeated chorus and move along to the music, your eyes lock on his and his heart damn near stops when your smile widens after looking him up and down, singing while directing the lyrics to him.

its cuffin season

and now weve got a reason

to get a big boy

i want a big boy

give me a big, big, big boy

you wink at him before turning your attention back to the audience, wrapping up the song before continuing the rest. hopper feels a tugging on his arm, looking down at his beaming daughter who looks happier than hes ever seen her.

"shes so pretty! and i love her voice! isnt this so cool?!" she shouts over the music, slightly jumping up and down in excitement.

hopper smiles at her enjoyment, slightly chuckling along with her. "yeah, yeah shes cool, hon."

throughout the rest of the concert hopper finds himself enjoying it more and more, his eyes staying on you nearly the whole time. you make eye contact a few more times, and each time you send a flirtatious smile in his direction.

eventually the performance comes to a close, the kids still hyped and buzzing talking about their favorite parts. just as they're about to head out a security guard stops them.

"is there a problem? one of these kids didnt so something, did they?" jim asks, sending a pointed look in the kids direction, all of them standing still as statues.

"no, nothing wrong at all sir." the guard assures. "s/n is having a vip meet and greet backstage and invited your party to say hello and get some autographs."

hopper doent think hes ever seen the kids get so excited so quickly, but then again they were going to meet their first celebrity.

when its finally their time to meet you, you give them a great big smile and "hello!". you act so well with the kids, answering any question they have and taking a multitude of pictures. he stares on in fondness until you turn your attention to him.

"hi, your daughter told me your name is jim, right?"

"everyone just calls me hopper." he responds, trying to hide how hes slightly nervous in your presence. it was t everyday he met someone equally talented and drop dead gorgeous. "i uh...liked your song. the first one."

"mmm, pretty sure you more than liked it." you tease him, laughing when he looks away from you. "im glad you enjoyed it. me and my friends just wanted to show more love to guys of our type."

"your type huh? and im guessing by how you kept looking at me id fit in to your criteria?" he asks you bluntly, feeling proud when he sees you slightly flustered.

"youd more than fit, trust me-" youre blatant innuendo is cut off by your manager tapping you on the shoulder, whispering in your ear that you should start wrapping things up.

a deep sigh leaves you, sharing just another little moment with him before moving back to your table, writing something on a note and giving it to him with a smile.

he doesnt have time to look at it until later on during the drive home, most of the kids having tuckered themselves out from talking about the show and falling asleep one by one. he carefully pulls the note out of his jacket pocket, holding it in one hand while he drives with the harder.

its your name and number, with just a sentence of writing below them.

call me whenever youd like, big boy.

and in that moment, hopper has never been more grateful for his daughter.

.

.

.

a/n: i dont have anything to say need him bad. bigger boys girls nd everyone in between we love yall. thanks for reading <3

[cheecats]

hi this is Not a request i just wanted to pop in and say Thank You for your rowanclaw posting bc i do genuinely love that guy and i’ve been focusing a lot on tawnyrowan in my fic but i have no critical thinking skills or braincells so i havent been able to dig into the Meat of his character yet

and you pointed out some stuff i hadn’t thought about!! i read avos recently but its been probably at least 5 years since i read anything else so memory?? no.

but i do love him <33 and i think sometimes about how the erins made him tawnypelt’s mate only bc they felt bad for misgendering him in the beginning and what would the world where that didn’t happen look like….hm but anyway

i will leave your inbox now sorry have a good day :)))

Hey there!! Thank-you so much for the kind words! I'm always keen to jot down my thoughts on Rowanclaw, because there's a lot of potential for both the past origins and the future/current actions of his character to be explored upon... neither of which the Erins ever really bother to look into because they're pretty clueless and careless with the cast of characters they already have. They're always keen to just chuck out characters that aren't main players so they can introduce new protagonists which, idk, its spoiled my enjoyment of the series to say the least. Because Rowanclaw definatley isn't the only example I can think of (hell even Tawnypelt kind of fits that discarded potential vibe.)

How exciting though! Good luck with getting your fic done, I'm happy for you to use some of my ramblings to help flesh out your portrayal of Rowanclaw if it helps! Have a RowanTawny blob as a good luck charm!

-- also secret Rowan + Tawny ramblings in the og tags if anyone is interested hee-hee

[definitelynotshouting]

Do not apologise at all for responding late!! Holiday burnout is so real, theres sm to organise so I understand completely 😅. I hope youre getting some rest between xmas and the new year, or that at least whatever you have planned isnt too hard on you :)

I am 100% willing to believe you blessed my flight lmao, hopefully it works on the way back as well :D

Is it weird to say i dont think ive ever had a blackberry before?? Idk i might have had one when i was a kid but when you mentioned the blackberry jam I completely blanked. So um. Hope it was good?

Oh no your cat!! D: Hope he's all better now

YES I WOULD LOVE TO TELL YOU ABOUT MALAYSIAN FOOD!! I would show u pics but um 🧍->🏃‍♂️💨. Ur gonna have to google it king LOL. The first day back my dad and I went out to a mamak stall (basically just a restaurant for malay-chinese-indian food), and I had roti canai (a type of flatbread with curry) and teh tarik, which I have missed dearly. I dont typically like normal english breakfast tea so getting to have authentic teh tarik was SO GOOD. Teh tarik (translating to "pulled tea") is made with condensed milk and gets its name from how after the drink is mixed it gets continuously poured over and over from one container to another until it gets super frothy.

I've also been getting reacquainted with my favourite fruits 🥰 that you cant get in Australia like mangosteen and jambu air (ai-yer). Mangos and dragon fruit you can get in australia but. um. Theyre bad. They just taste like sweet water. Also unfortunately for me rambutan i havent been able to find rambutan 😔😔. Those look similar to lychee but they taste pretty different, less tangy and sweeter.

Ive gone out with a friend to have cendol (c promounced as a "ch") which is a cold desert with coconut milk and rice jelly, along with other toppings should you choose it. Im also in the process of convincing my bff to do a 3h road trip with me specifically for food in a city called Ipoh 😭 wish me luck.

AND, im getting one of my relatives to teach me how to make rendang and char kway teow. The rendang specifically because the one she makes i prefer over what's usually made in restuarants. I think it's a state difference in recipes or smtg? So the ones you'll find in restuarants are KL/Selangor rendang and she makes from Kedah. Thats just a theory tho im not actually sure.

🧍 i realise this ask has become like 70% about food so i apologise. But. In my defense you asked >:) /j

ANYWAY. I hope youve gotten a break from the holiday work or at least have one coming up <33 Take care of yourself; indulge in your cheeses :D

-☀️

SUN ANON HELLOOOOOO im so excited to hear you got those desserts, those sound AMAZING...... also i looked up all the foods you mentioned and MAN THESE LOOK GOOD.... im a shrimp lover im gazing so hard at the char kway teow...... 👀👀👀👀👀 also holy shit these fruits look so cool???? Thats WILD ive literally never heard of these before and im having a lot of fun looking them up online and reading about their flavours and stuff!!!! Incredibly curious about mangosteen, i was not expecting it to be white inside when i looked it up and just like, the contrast of the purplish rind vs the white insides is SO neat to look at, like that feels really good on my eyeballs if that makes sense JSDBEKDNMDD also also teh tarik sounds and looks amazing i want to try that SO bad now omg

Its so funny you say that about blackberries bc where i live we have them literally growing everywhere on the side of the road AKDNWKDNKWDN in the summer when they start putting out fruit one of my roommates will sometimes go out and just pick a bunch for the whole household, and they always taste SOOOOO much better than the store-bought ones. Im genuinely not sure how to describe the taste of blackberry other than like. Its very sweet but also very tart (i go for the slightly less ripe ones tbh bc i prefer tart things to super sweet) at the same time, and sorta pops in your mouth a little bit when you chew it. Honestly its one of my favorite fruits i would highly recommend them if you can find em anywhere!!!!

My resolution this year is a bit silly but i wanted to go for a very fun easy one, so its to use every sticker i own this year :] ive already started by putting a few on the creeper minifridge that my roomie got me for xmas 😂😂😂😂😂😂 and i have some scrapbook ideas as well to use my fancier ones that my friends have gotten me!!!! Also you are so valid about the writing-- tbh if you wrote more than expected then it sounds like you succeeded instead of failed, so thats awesome!!! :DDD

I hope you're doing well on your travels, sun anon!! And when the time comes may your flight back to Australia be as peaceful and pleasant as the one you experienced when you left it :]

[1028s]

me and i do this again when im 20

nickname(s): hanna!!! jus hanna is fine lmao yeah im not a nickname girl fr T_T just hanna

gender: female yupppp im a girl

zodiac: virgo!!! yes still virgo

height: 5′1 5′3 yay

sexual orientation: who knos @ this point tbh i like girls . but i keep ending up with boy sorry guys this comphet shit really addictive

time rn: 7:39pm :o!!! 6:30pm

hogwarts house: hufflepuff!!! dont ask me this LMFAO

favourite colour: i say i like green a lot but ive been leaning towards blue these days yellow is so cute but . idk all is cool

favorite animal: dogs r nice yes i literally dont care sorry but i like ants

average hours of sleep: like seven maybe six

cat or dog person: “dogs r nice yes” cats r nice too tho but i like dogs god neither

last thing i googled: “attention thank you for your attention” bc i want 2 make a version of the poster abt yuto but i cant find the meme “modern irish names”

favourite fictional character(s): u kno levi from fangirl… hes bf (best friend/boyfriend) material… ummm . . .  chen xiaoxi from a love so beautiful i kin her . and hamlet omg i LOVE him

blankets i sleep with: i used 2 sleep w two but i kept kicking one of them off so i jus use one these days two actually

favourite bands/artists: (kpop) sf9 exo gfriend twice and svt // (non kpop) one direction michael buble frankie valli + the four seasons and the beach boys lmao awwwww . . . carly rae jepsen , twice , gfriend , and sum 41

dream trip: lets go 2 south korea hell yea or or or i want 2 go back to africa or the philippines i need to go back to china or visit ireland

dream job: baker, newspaper editor, early childhood educator, asl interpreter, or jus like general translator for another language idk so cute . i think im gonna be a neuropsychologist hopefully if i get into grad school LMFAO

wearing: radiology sweater and pj shorts! shirt and shortz

age of blog: almost two years bc i made this march 19th 2015 oh my fucking god

url because…: bruh i miss na jaemin so much u have no idea he makes me so happy jus seeing him smile and like i havent seen a recent pic of him in ages like im real sad abt it :( when he comes back idk if i will go back 2 coolboyrenjun or like change to coolboyjaemin lmao i love winwin

go-to ssbb character: idk ive been trying 2 branch out from kirby so i play as the naked ross lynch looking guy sometimes (shelk or smth… shulk i think idk) i still love him

fictional character i’d date: levi from fangirl ok good answer . but i would choose zuo ran from tears of themis LMFAO 

how many blogs do i follow: 568 lmao its like 238 or something and only like twenty are active i think KSDHJDHS

what do i post about: nct and memes idk nothing much just doing my monthly roundz

do i get asks on a regular basis: no lmao only for ask games but regular basis asks seem fun no SLJHSJDHJLS

aesthetic: late night type stuff??? homey thingy sometimes too. like suburban houses w fog and then a pop of smth colorful… idk man what . . . . im a girl who likes kandi and yeah

[babybsweettea]

maybe dont read lol

aaaaaaaahhhhhhhh i had an incredibly long(feeling) in depth and realistic dream abt someone i really do love with my whole heart but havent actually spoken to in 4 years because im such an asshole fuckup. i miss her so much and miss feeling like someone loved me and wanted to be near me and drive around and listen to music with me. i used to listen to music so much. i used to live so much. now all i do is work and then try to cast my brain into oblivion because i cant fucking handle the complete and utter loneliness. i miss you so much A that it feels like someone scooped my heart out and let it melt. i dont even know how to START talking to people anymore because i dont even think im worth the time. if i care about someone why would i want to drag them down to my own level? why would i want someone i love to be miserable because thwyre forced to spend time with me? idk im just being emo and exaggerative but fucking shit i miss being happy and excited to live every day and DO THINGS. ive been watching SU with some friends and yesterday i cried for like an hour about how much i miss seeing myself in steven. i used to be so fun and happy and loving and genuinely wanted to solve situations with love and now im just broken and bruised and ugly. not just ugly externally but ugly in my soul. warped and broken and put back together wrong and grinding my bones against ligaments until they sharpen and just pierce my fucking skin. i wanna put my thumbs against my eyes and pop them out like a grape so you can keep them in your pocket and i can see that you at least think about me sometimes. i think about you a lot. sorry abt that

[perce]

pretty sure i blacked out for the entirety of 2017

[smileysuh]

ok that Lucas infographic was really nice lol, but just wanted to say I'm kinda glad with your choice...

I mean like, you're staying on the safer side by not bringing him up much, but you still kinda support ot23 (from what I understand at least). and yea it's fine that you're more 127 biased (not that you need my validation lol) hence your works are more based around them

idk if I'm making sense, I'm just kinda tired of ppl making up more stories to add on drama honestly... nice that one of my favourite writers isn't doing too much abt it

thanks! I've tried to explain a little more in my response, so again, in case anyone doesn't wanna see this stuff, I've put a cut so you can choose to avoid seeing this :)

yeah- it depends on your definition of 'support'- like, i'm a general fan of lots of groups- i LIKE wayv like i LIKE groups like astro- i listen to some of their songs, watch some content if it pops up in my youtube, and i definitely went through a hyper fixation stage where i learned a lot about them- but for one reason or another, they never went to the next level to become a special interest- i don't STILL actively go searching for info about them the way i do with SVT and NCT 127.

But just because i don't love Wayv or Astro or Itzy the way i love SVT, NCT 127 (and other groups like Pentagon and Monstax) doesn't mean i don't still enjoy them/want to see them successful and happy :)

But because NCT 127 is within the ot23 umbrella, something happening outside of my 9 core members does make waves that reach me- and i know my followers might be more engrained with Wayv than i am- so i think, as someone who isn't REALLY a Wayv stan- it's not my place to make definitive statements about any of the stuff that's been going on- all i can do is respectfully limit the member in question :) and hopefully, the fandom will get some definitive stuff from SM sometime in the future that will clear things up, at which point, i'm sure many people will have to reevaluate how they interact with including Lucas- regardless of what SM ends up saying about all of this.

for anyone who IS a big wayv stan, and has been following all of this- honestly, my biggest sympathies- being kept in the dark about this sort of situation- not knowing what to believe- it's extremely stressful. when there were allegations about SVT's Mingyu being a bully- i was fucking devastated because he's one of my mains- and people were so quick to cancel him or say he was innocent- and it's just- at the time, it's like i A: condemn Mingyu as a bully based on very little facts, and potentially alienate all the fans holding out for a statement, which is horrible, because until we have the exact facts- i'd just be condemning their fav- or B: say Mingyu was innocent, potentially devalidate the victim(s), and latch onto Mingyu even harder if i got pushback- both options lead to the polarization that results in arguments and disagreements- over a situation that NO ONE had the actual facts on until after Pledis investigated-

and this example can be applied to any kpop 'scandal'- Taeyong being called a bully like Mingyu, which were both proven FALSE - or the flip side like the Burning Sun Scandal- which was horribly true

i just- the world has enough fighting and negative energy without me adding my opinion on a 'scandal' that hasn't even been proven- because as i showed above, no matter what i say, someone will disagree with me- because it's still a matter of opinion based on few actual facts

and what even are facts? like- correct me if i'm wrong, because again, i havent been keeping up with this- but some of the evidence presented against lucas was voice messages taken from his bubble and framed to look like personal messages was it not? in this day and age- anything can be warped or edited- but another way to see this is, even if 1 of the persons 'proof' is false, what about the other people who came out with allegations? like- we as fans are not SUPPOSED to be able to sift through and differentiate this shit- which is why they have teams who check the scandals-

however, with this one- this is all we've been given

and looking at sm's track record, this in no way helps clarify what went down- because i believe they made Taeyong apologize when he was accused of bullying too? and it was later debunked???

and while the initial 2 accusers as shown in the article linked HAVE been debunked- maybe i'm blind but the third one seems to have some legitimacy still????

i just- it's a shit show. why would i wade into this- even just looking at the info made my head hurt because things are still so up in the air for Lucas stans (he apologized so is he guilty? some stuff was debunked so is he innocent???)- and again, i feel so bad for everyone involved- because if there's one definitive thing i CAN say, it's: SM has not handled this well

this is how Pledis went about the Mingyu bullying accusation:

and i do think his apology is quite similar to Lucas's- a blanket apology, like- it's true, reflection is good, even if you don't mean to, you can accidentally hurt other people-

the difference is this:

like- did SM even say they were investigating??? did they just- tell him to make an apology then bench him for (7?) months hoping it would blow over and when he comes back, we'd receive him with open arms? (the "distance makes the heart grow fonder" idea)

i think- this tactic definitely worked in some regard- before the lucas allegations, his insta would get like 30,000 comments in a post, then for his apology, he got 700,000 and when he returned earlier this month, his post had 800,000+ when I checked- so like- people HAVE missed him- a lot of fans really don't think he's guilty because i guess someone hired a cyber team- and it's just- very convenient for SM to bandaid it with an apology, bench Lucas, build suspense/longing, and then let him return, with very little actual investigation on their part or communication with the fanbase on what's ACTUALLY going on.

no hate to anyone- i'm not pointing out these numbers to make a judgment, because fuck- if Lucas is ur main, i bet you missed him- i'm merely pointing out the psychological backing of the tactic SM has used in this- and how i really don't agree with it, because as someone who runs on FACTS- i can't fully embrace Lucas ever again until i have a definitive statement from SM in the way that Pledis cleared Mingyu-

maybe this is a low key way of me saying im jealous of fans who trust the debunking in loo of an official statement- because i do wish i could embrace lucas again- i dont WANT him to be this bad person- it's just- it's hard for everyone :/ what a shit show

hopefully we'll get more clear info from sm/a hired investigation team soon- but- i kind of feel like after what SM just did with this- it's unlikely- and they ARE hoping this will just blow over, with as little effort/communication from themselves as possible :/

[pigstepmp3-moved]

holy hell, gamers, i finally reached one whole thousand followers! how bonkers is that! when i first made this blog in december 2018, i was just trying to start over in a new fandom. ive been active on tumblr for a looong time (since i was like 11, which is. not great, but we wont get into that). i cant remember quite why i decided to remake, but i never imagined getting a higher following than i did before, but i did! 1000 followers is bonkers, i’ve never had a thousand of anything! i seriously cant thank each and every one of you enough, whether you followed me for 911 or for mcyt or for whatever!

now, since ive reached this absolutely bonkers milestone, im feeling particularly sappy! so under the cut, i have some friends and mutuals tagged who are super great n who are always an absolute pleasure to see on my dash! <3 again, thank you all so much! (ps, if we’re mutuals and i didnt tag u in this, that doesnt mean i dont love and appreciate you!! i mostly am just picking people to tag based off how often i see them on my dash! i love all of u so much <3)

♡ 911 FRIENDS ♡

(aka the ogs, aka the fire fam)

♡ @lovelessmotel ♡ emily!! god, where do i even begin with how much i love and adore you!! i know youre one of my big sisters, but wow i am so proud of how much youve discovered yourself since we’ve met!! like wow, look at this epic, gorgeous person whos one of MY close friends! im so lucky to be friends with you! thank you so much for being my friend, i appreciate you and all the sisterly advice you’ve given me more than i can ever put into words!

♡ @eddiediaz-buckley ♡ sav!! mom!! i love u so unbelievably much!! i am so unbelievably grateful for you and everything youve done for me! all the advice youve given me and all the times youve let me vent to you have been so important to me and i cannot thank you enough for all that. im soso appreciative of you and im so glad that i have someone as amazing as you as my mom/big sister (we’ll never really figure out our fams family dynamics, will we?) (ps, whenever i go outside and have my keys with me, its always so comforting to feel the keychain you got me! its like my moms with me everywhere i go!)

♡ @liesoverthec ♡ bonbonbonbon!!! i love you so much, you wouldnt BELIEVE how much i love you!!! im so glad we met bc you are so unbelievably kind!! there is a very good reason a nickname for u is bonbon bc you are just as sweet as candy!! maybe even more so!! i love having you as one of my big sisters, you give such wonderful advice and talking to you always makes me feel a million times better!! i love you and i am soso glad i get to call you my friend!

♡ @marauder-girl ♡ sabsabsab!! i love u so much, u funky lil future lawyer!! im so proud of u and i can hardly believe ur gonna be my Lawyer big sister!!! thats so awesome!! i cant believe such a rad person is one of MY friends!! how lucky am i!! i love having you as one of my big sisters, youre so kind and funny and talented and your advice has always been so helpful to me too! thank you so much for being my friend and for always being there for me!!

♡ @nighting-gale17 ♡ cait, my love, my wifey!!! wowowow i love u so much!!! im so glad we’re friends, you are so unbelievably lovely!! youre also so unbelievably talented like??? hey queen wanna hand some of ur writing ability over to the unfortunate (like me). i’m so glad we’re friends, youre so sweet and even tho we dont talk as much as we used to, i still have SO much love for you in my heart

♡ @africaneuropean ♡ rae, my father!! i love u so much!! i know we havent talked at all in. who knows how long. but i still have so much love for u in my heart!! you are so iconic and cool and funny, im so glad i met you n became friends with you!! ur one of the coolest people i know, i hope i can be as cool and mysterious and wonderful as you one day

♡ @evaneddie ♡ DHYL!!! dhyl pickle i love u so much!!! whenever u pop into my inbox with random nice messages, every part of me lights up!!! u are so kind to me and for what!! i miss talking to u as much as we used to, you are so sweet and you are such a good friend!! i love u n im SO proud of how far youve come with gif making, i still remember when u first started n youve gotten SO amazing at gifs lately!! i love u soso much n im so glad we’re friends, youre so awesome!!!

♡ @basil-the-writer ♡ des!!! i love u so much!!! i know we’ve never rly talked all that much but im glad we have interacted in the ways that we have!! u are so sweet n so talented!! like the fact that u have the patience for those lil video edits u do?? that is so cool!! all ur edits are so cool, i cannot imagine being able to make stuff like that without dying every single time. u are so cool n i love being able to call u my friend!!

♡ GRIFF ♡

(aka griff)

♡ @yawnralphio ♡ u get ur own section bc u are my only 911 friend who isnt an og, but thats ok bc u are so swaggy!! i love being friends with u griff, u are so cool and funny and i am so glad that u still want to be friends with me despite all of the horrifying things u’ve learned about mcyt from me jdhfajkdhfa. i love u so much n i am so excited to get to know u more n get closer to u!!

♡ FRUITBLR ♡

(aka mcyt friends)

♡ @fear-epidemic ♡ atlas u are so swaggy and funny!! tumblr funny man!! im so glad we’re mutuals, i love u a whole lot. that one time u me n wilby played bed wars together was so fun even if we’re really bad! n that one time we played on the fruitblr server while on vc was so fun, i loved talking to u n playing with u so much, we gotta do that again sometime. i love u so much chapin n im so glad we’re friends!!

♡ @netheritedream ♡ hari my beloved... i love u so much. like literally so much that its really embarassing. i am so glad u tagged me in that one follow forever post n put the offer on the table to let me join the server. i love being ur dumb lil husband!!! jus like actual fundy, i would risk it all to watch treasure planet with u. i love u sososo much, i wish i could live closer to u so i could actually talk to u more often </333 im going through severe withdrawal, pray for me. im gonna stop talking for now bc if i kept going on, this post would be several miles along n nobody has time for that </3 just know that i love u so much and i love having matching icons n i love being ur husband, i love u so much

♡ @sootswilbur ♡ tommy... i care you so much. little bromther!!! im sososo glad we’re friends bc u are so kind to me all the time n u are so easy to talk to!! ur also so talented, ur writing n ur gifs are so amazing n im so proud of all the awesome stuff u make!! seeing u experiment more with ur gif sets n trying new things is so awesome n inspiring and i love seeing ur experiments work out!! i love u soso much n im so happy to be ur big brother!! (or one of them at least)

♡ @fruitbur ♡ virgil my Other beloved... i love u so much!! u are one of the kindest people ive ever met n im so glad i met u!! i know ive already told u this before but ur tagging system is so sweet n i love seeing u reblog my posts bc im like “yay alastair is gonna tell me that he loves me in the tags :D” i also lovelovelove ur theme, i love the soft pink and the lil aesthetic board that u have pinned, its so nice to look at!!! ily sososo much <333

♡ @theartofmining ♡ hey fruit ily. like genuinely, u are so unbelievably funny that u make my ribs hurt so much. i know we’re like never rly that serious but i love u so much. as much as i joke about hating u, i really am glad we’re friends n i really look forward to becoming better friends with u. i love u a whole lot rain, i love seeing u on my dash bc ur full of good takes n funny posts

♡ @sapnaplive ♡ dream.... bonks our foreheads together... i care u so much. my other half!!! i love u with my whole little heart. u are soso cool and im so lucky to be able to call u my friend!! ur themes are always so cool, i wish i could be half as cool as them!!! ur art is also so epic like??? u are a triple threat: good at art, tumblr themes, AND minecraft building. and ur also so kind!!! u are one of the sweetest people i know, i love u so much and im so glad im friends with u!!

♡ @dreams-little-kitten ♡ corn u are so weird and i mean that in the kindest way possible. u are so cryptic n i love that so much about u. ur like the wilbur to my philza sometimes and i think thats so awesome. that one time u came into my inbox to talk shit about that one cuphead boss was so funny and absurd, i loved that so much. i love You so much. i love how ur just so effortlessly funny, n im so glad i can be friends with u

♡ @dreamsmp ♡  JEL!!!! i love u so much holy cow. u are so sweet!! all the time!!! ur also so talented, ur gifs always look so good!!! i love being friends with u, ur always so nice to me n u always leave rly nice tags when u reblog my gif sets that make me so happy!!! i think about that one time u rbed my fundy gif set n said “FUNDY GIFS” and “GIFS BY FUNDY” it made me so happy!!! i love u a whole lot, im so glad we’re friends :)

♡ @leaguelol ♡ damien!! i love u so much u funky little cryptid!! i love when u pop into the gc just to share cryptic thoughts, u are so strange but i think thats so cool of u!!! i honestly see u kinda like a lil sibling, im always so proud of u when i see ur art on my dash!! u are so talented at art!! i love u so much n i love being ur friend, ur rly sweet n i love seeing u on my dash and in the gc!!

♡ @its5undy ♡ idk why im putting u on this, ur my mortal enemy. jkjk, i actually love u a lot clay! i love joking around with u, ur so funny and for what. im so glad u joined the gc bc i love talking to you so much!! i still love that one time u reblogged that fwt gif set n tagged me in it moments after I reblogged it. i love that u thought about me, that rly warms my heart! i love being friends with u sososo much

♡ @cavalreee ♡ oh hey, another great big fruit!! i dont think we talk all that often, which is a shame, bc ur so sweet!! and also so fucking funny, why is everyone in this friend group so fucking funny, its not fair. i love seeing u on my dash talking with ur other friends, u always have the funniest convos ever. also? ur desktop theme is SO epic, it threw me off the first time i saw it but its so swaggy, just like u!! i love u soso much azzie, n i hope we can talk more in the future bc ur so cool

♡ @technosoot ♡ i love u even tho ur a br*t /j /j /j. jannat u are so unbelievably sweet. im so glad u joined the gc bc u are such a kind presence both in there and on my dash! u radiate very Warm, Friend energy. ur friend shaped. i love u so much n i love being friends with u!! im very eager to become closer friends with u bc u seem like a really amazing friend to have

♡ @sortasortaspicy ♡ les where are u in the gc i miss u </3 i love u so much, u fit in so well from the very beginning n brought so much more fun and laughter into the gc. i dont know u all that well n i dont think we’ve talked one on one like. at all. but id love to get closer to u bc ur so rad and ur so sweet!!

♡ EPIC PEOPLE  ♡

(aka mutuals who are so cool n id love to be friends with u pls talk to me)

@eurytherm ♡ @vampkings ♡ @weelbur ♡ @wilburtheesoot ♡ @quackityskarl ♡ @wimblrscoot ♡ @technofarmer ♡ @wooteena ♡ @bloodforblood ♡ @smpsapnap ♡ @literallynotfound ♡ @hearty-an0n ♡ @enderanboo ♡ @springbonniecpu ♡ @pandascanpvp ♡ @tommylnnits ♡ @strawberrygogy ♡ @timedeo ♡ @nymika-arts ♡ @h-isforhome ♡ @eboykarl ♡ @joe-alkaysani ♡ @betwecouldmakesome ♡ @squirrelstone ♡ @maddieandchimney

[eirian]

im going insane so im going to tell you about it and by that i mean make a post to scream into the void about my troubles

this will be a rambly, stream of consciousness post so watch out. unmedicated adhd brain shenanigans are afoot

i feel like i need to draw for myself more. i try to very often, i do, but i still feel like im caught in the whole “if i dont draw for attention then whats the point” hellhole that ive been trying to get out of for years. but i feel like the reason for this is that i literally Need the attention to up my chances for commissioners??? because thats how i make a living rn???  like i literally rely on commissions as my main source of income and that pays for shit like rent and medication and appointments and food :( i barely buy shit for myself anymore b/c im putting it all towards needs and not wants

also im worried my merch wont pop off as well as it did when i first released the submas merch. i know those were in high demand, but im afraid the demand will go to single digit sales for them as well as everything else i sell.  im honestly thinking about just buying very small stock, maybe 10 of each item at most, and opening the orders that way (after i ship things out of course).  speaking of shipping my last shipment STILL hasnt come in and im a little frustrated b/c im like. bruh i need to ship out these preorders. im not gonna do preorders in the future i dont think, im waiting way too long for this stock to come in :( i dont want yall to wait forever for like..a keychain

ive been trying to work here and there on both villain + school and facets (facets is completely written and scripted, v+s just recently got solidified as an outline Finally) but i kinda only had energy to do so for One Day so im not sure when those’ll be out lmfao. sorry bout that

i want to make more ocs, i havent made new ocs in a hot minute and im like :( wah. my character design brain is kaput right now.  i wanna make more cool db ocs and such like i used to. it used to bring me so much joy.  or maybe even inazuma eleven ocs idk im just wanting New Boys

i have so much to do or at least so much i could be doing. like i could make new merch art but that feels pointless if i dont have the money to buy the merch. i still need to ship out my FIRST orders, christ.  and im trying so hard to get commissions rolling so i CAN ship out my shit but :( its a struggle. im struggling. god im stressed to hell and back hi

sometimes i do be like i wanna die !  but i wont.  i’ll be ok things will be ok.  i will get commissions its only the 6th.  i have time. and im going to check out some cons that i can maybe table at in the future. thatd be wonderful. fuck i need to reprint my business cards with my updated twitter im a little mad i ended up getting my account unsuspended right after i made those cards. at least i only made 50 of them i guess

i need like an online journal or something to write this shit into instead of like, a public tumblr post LMFAO. but i cant use washi tape online so there goes that /hj

i really really need to figure out a way to let the general furry population know that i will draw their stuff for commissions. like. i Will. i Have. i Can.  just give me a chance bro i’ll draw your inflation fetish art just give me a chance to make some money to live LOL.  i would draw more furry art but i am so unmotivated and sluggish its so hard..

i kinda feel like i should try to get back into adoptables too but ive been so depressed and down and unmotivated its really really hard for me to design things for myself let alone to sell. so im like ok now what i have no income. im too brain fucky to get a “real job” so im just like. sits here on my ass doing absolutely nothing except being sad.  ok so i might have depression

anyway life is hard thanks for putting up with me

[ofieugogyshz]

7, 17, 29!

7. What is your deepest joy about writing?

getting to escape, experience another world, be someone else entirely and experience catharsis from that. stuff like that.

17. Talk to me about the minutiae of your current WIP. Tell me about the lore, the history, the detail, the things that won’t make it in the text.

i havent touched anything lately, my most current wip is over a few months old i think. I'm not even sure what will or won't make it into it, because it's the db xenoverse squad fic. there's just. SO MUCH to ramble on about, following 5 diff characters even tho it'll focus mostly on Chikori.

i will admit that i still dunno what i'm gonna do for Kian for most of the series. but the story starts about 3-4 years before the events of xv1, with the Majin Time Patrollers Nanna and Mulla investigating a time anomaly/rift, and coming across Chikori. after vague exchanges in which both parties have varying levels of suspicions, the majins decide to drop the saiyan off on the saiyan rehabilitation planet Earth. they go back, chikori spends 2-3 years living on the peaceful planet in a sort of dull haze (and i'm... just realizing how that echoes my own irl... chikori so full of parallels of life for me circa freeing of my previous shackles.) meeting Fallafal and living with his family, until the Majins come back 2-3 years after dropping chikori off, going "oopsies" (well, nanna mostly) because they got yelled at by the supreme kai of time (skot) for not bringing her back. and then chikori goes with them and fallafal is just like wtf and demands to go with bc he has a crush on chikori is concerned about her wellbeing and doesn't trust people who just. forget to take someone back with them? and drop them off in the woods on a planet they're not even from???? so yeah that's def sus but also golden retriever puppy dog fallafal :c

and then they both become time patrollers over some time (maybe a year, maybe less), making friends with a few others' xv ocs, and then... the events of xv1 happen!!! and then it just becomes a regular retelling with ocs slapped in. there's a different saiyan arc, of sorts, that is centered around Chikori and her PTSD and closing the doors on some parts of her life that she was forcibly extricated from, and learning how to walk away and/or heal from that. Fallafal learbs some self-confidence/to not attach himself so closely to Chikori bc he feels all alone and useless being a human among super warriors that could destroy earth with just one finger, and his own feelings of inadequacy because he can't keep up with the squad. i don't know what the others' arcs are, beyond Kian opening up to the squad on the side, a la "powerful lone wolf joins the friendship squad and begrudginly accepts their friendship". Maybe something where Nanna's just been set up as this frivolous squad leader and then it's revealed how much she actually protecc/care her newbies. Mulla.... idek yet.

then idk somehow they defeat demigra with the power of friendship or some shit and chikori never learns ssj bc i'm just following my og playthru and i never used that skill at all LMFAO

this is a lot of pre-game story to set the fuck up though, a lot of fucking "how they all meet" details, and oh also i love fallafal's sister bc she's trans and gr8 but i'm sad bc i didnt make her a mc and she deserves to appear more but just. wouldn't fit in with most of the story. but she deserves her own shit. love her.

29. Where do you draw your inspiration? What do you do when the inspiration well runs dry?

we just don't know. sometimes it's a "i have a MUCH more interesting idea based off this one random thought and i am going to take it and RUN WITH IT." most times its just "this random idea popped up and it sounds so amazing for a fic that i have to write it RIGHT NOW OR LOSE IT."

sometimes it's just the "here's how events would unfold if it was me or my ocs" and that's how you get my retelling fics LMFAO.

when the well is dry:

[bytedykes]

hEYYY tell me more about your domestic malec hcs bc theyre excellent 👌👌

YESSS of course <333

-im a firm believer that in mundane aus alec owns one of those hair shaving/clipping whatever kits and cuts his hair himself (hc brought to u by my memories of my dad shaving my brothers’ hair in the middle of the kitchen hjksf) so he. god i dont know the right terminology. he would help magnus keep the shaved parts of his hair crisp and clean kwjehfds and also they’d make a day out of re-dyeing magnus’ streaks !! basically just them doing magnus’ hair together idk!!!<3

-magnus leaves the door to the bathroom open when hes showering or doing his makeup routines and he makes a big show out of pretending it was TOTALLY on accident and he is just SO SURPRISED when alec joins him! truly! this is completely unexpected! (alec smile-scoffs and rolls his eyes and shuts magnus up with kisses. every time) (it never gets old tho fhjsdk)

-they have laundry baskets in every room in the loft because alec has the unfortunate habit of randomly stripping off his socks or jacket and leaving them around kwjfhds

-chairman sucks up to alec more but he sleeps exclusively on magnus’ side of the bed so they’re lowkey in constant competition for the affections of their cat fkjsdhks <3

-alec doesn’t like bananas unless they’re perfectly unicolored and it drives magnus up the wall because “its a TINY SPOT of brown its not ROTTEN alexander its just a little bruised because you DROPPED IT” so magnus is the primary consumer of bananas in this household

-these are all so random asdlfaksdjfsd

-magnus doesn’t like washing the dishes so when its his turn he always spells them straight into the dishwasher, or sometimes just immediately clean and shelved. which makes alec fondly exasperated because HE still has to wash them down and put them in and out of the dishwasher by hand

-the “BANE” nameplaque by the ringer? doorbell? buzzer? i havent been in an apartment building since like 2016 sorry sdjkfskdf. but yeah that thing gets changed to “LIGHTWOOD-BANE” :))

-magnus has days where he just needs to listen to the most teenage 90s pop music and he dances to it around the apartment and everything and that is why alec has been caught humming britney spears lol.

-whenever they listen to music magnus pretends he knows the current musician personally and they both know he very much doesnt but alec goes along with it anyway and its a fun little game they have idk !!!!

-magnus will occasionally fall asleep in weird places with the chairman. like you know those pics that are of cats sleeping in the most uncomfortable looking poses? yeah thats magnus bane and his cat curled up on top of him

-idk if my family is just weird but u know how sometimes u pick up ur cat and pretend its gun... yeah they do that fhsdjk. “pew pew” -the high warlock of brooklyn, holding a disgruntled feline like a weapon (no cats are harmed ofc)

-ive already said this i think, but them going “MY HUSBAND!!!” at any opportunity!! like they’ll be at the store and magnus will be like “hey do you want green or red peppers?” and alec will say “one second let me just check with my husband<3” and walk to the next aisle and call magnus and ask him what peppers he should get and theyre both trying to keep a straight face but end up grinning and laughing the entire time and uh YEAH THEY’RE DORKS <3

-they have a table but they only use the 2 chairs right next to each other so they can bump shoulders and just be very close fhjdskds I LOVE THEM SO MUCH FUCK

-theyd go to a pottery class or smth together and spend the entire time poking fun at each other hgjdfkjwhfdsfjdjs

-sometimes they are so dramatically fake-mad at each other and like <3 thats love baby... like for example one of them will forget to hang up the towel after they shower and then the other will arrange it very carefully on their side of the bed and when the perpetrator finds it they arranger will laugh to themselves smugly,,, imaginary point system if you know what i mean fhsjdfsd

yeah thats what i have for now!! i love them 🥺🥰

[theroguequeenaniki]

Questions 2009 -> 2021

This is from my Facebook. It popped up on my memories page thing. I originally answered this in 2009 when I was 15, it’s now 2021 & and I am 27, so I’m gonna do it again. Leaving the original answers. Original answers will be italicized. Commentary on the original answers in parentheses & crossed out? Lol. (I’m not gonna tag anyone, but, like, I guess if you want to answer these random questions from Facebook 12 years ago, go ahead lol) 

Questions

Can you fill this out without lying? You've been tagged, so now you need to answer all the questions HONESTLY. At the end, choose people to tag. Don't forget to tag me so I can see your answers! To do this, copy this entire message, then go to “notes” under tabs on your profile page, paste these instructions in the body of the note, delete my answers, and type yours. Easy! Next, tag people that you think may enjoy this (in the right hand corner of the app). Click publish (at the bottom). Have fun! :) 1.What was the last thing you put in your mouth? My cup with my Big Red in it The straw to my Kate Spade tumbler to drink my HEB Cola Lol.

2.Where was your profile picture taken? I got it off the internet. it's a random anime girl. My bedroom. 3.Can you play Guitar Hero? Never played it. Probably wouldn't be good at it. Not to good at video games. But I am good at Mario Cart, both 64 and the Wii. plus I'm good at some Sonic games. Still never played it. Idk if I’m any good at Mario Cart or the Sonic games anymore, I haven’t played either in years lol

4.Name someone who made you laugh today? Doctor Who TikTok. My cats.

5.How late did you stay up last night and why? Umm, probably about 10:00 cause it took me forevor to get into bed. Uh..Past 4am. Lol. B/c my sleep schedule is fucked. I was in bed by 3am though, but I was playing games & watching TikToks on my phone. Lol.

6.If you could move somewhere else, would you? Yes. I'd move to either New York or Sweden. I don’t know. Part of me says yes. But part of me says no..b/c even though Texas has it’s faults (a LOT of them), I cannot imagine living anywhere else long-term..

7. Ever been kissed under fireworks? HAHA. Yeah right. I've never even been kissed! Still nope. I have been kissed though. He just didn’t kiss me under the fireworks the one NYE we spent together...

8. Which of your friends lives closest to you? Um, I think R, but D might also. D is accross Stasney from me and R is a couple blocks down (I don’t talk to these people much anymore & I’m not going to share their names on Tumblr) Uh. I think Maybe Raven? B/c they’re the only one who lives in the same city still. But, Sarah might technically be closer distance wise? Hold on. Ok, yeah, Sarah’s closer, even though she doesn’t live in this city anymore.

9. Do you believe exes can be friends? It all depends on the situation.(I totally stold M's answer but it's true) (I don’t talk to this person anymore & I’m not gonna share their name on Tumblr) I mean, yeah. Two of my best friends are each others exes and they’re still friends. I haven’t stayed friend with my ex, but, uh, he ghosted me so? Lol.

10. How do you feel about Dr. Pepper? I love it. I still love it. Lol.

11. When was the last time you cried really hard? I can't remember. I don't think it was that long ago, I had a light cry on Saturday, but I don't remember the last time I cried really hard. When we got back from our trip in July. Had a full on breakdown that night. Overheated all weekend. Overwhelmed. Anxiety. It was not a very good vacation..I cry a lot though.

12. Who took your profile picture? I got it off of google. I did. 

13. Who was the last person you took a picture of? Umm, either myself, or one of my family members. Aside from myself. I think my dad, on his phone, b/c there was a cicada on his shoulder and he wanted to ask the family group chat if he could keep it. Lol. I take a LOT of pictures of cats though. Lol.

14. Was yesterday better than today? Hail yes! To much drama today! And I couldn't avoid it cause I was in the middle of it! (Oof, what drama was 15 yo Linda dealing with that she couldn’t avoid? Lol. I mean, I guess, Sophomore year was a bit full of drama lol) Anyway, I mean, they were pretty much the same. One wasn’t better than the other. One wasn’t worse than the other.

15. Can you live a day without TV? yeah. Now Music there is something I can't live without! Yep, Do it almost everyday. Sentiments about music remain the same. Lol.

16. Are you upset about anything? Yes. I'm annoyed about something and it's making me upset. (I assume this has something to do with the the drama mentioned earlier lol) Always. Anxiety & depression are a bitch. My rooms a mess & I can’t get myself to clean it. My shelves are still a mess.

17. Do you think relationships are ever really worth it? yeah. though i havent really had one yet. I mean, yeah. Even though I haven’t had one last, aside from friendships, but they’re worth it. 

18. Are you a bad influence? I hope not. If so, let me know.(again I took M's answer but it's true) Probably. Idk. Lol.

19. Night out or night in? Depends on what's going on and how I feel about it. Night in usually. I do like going out sometimes, but, like, to dinner. Maybe a movie or a show. But, you know, we’ve been in a panini press, the only thing I’ve been comfortable doing is going to dinner (fully vaxxed & masked). But I also prefer staying home anyway. (Like I usually just go to dinner with my family lol)

20. What items could you not go without during the day? my computer. my book. my journal and a pen. My phone. My journal (b/c I write in it every night, as a diary, 14yo Linda wrote stories). Uh. I didn’t take food or drinks into account in the og, so I won’t in those. But, yeah. My phone & journal. I can go a day without my laptop if I need to. (Went the whole trip in July without pulling it out, though maybe that’s not a good example since my anxiety on that trip was so high..) I want to say a book, but I’ve been in a massive reading slump so...I wish I read as much as 15yo Linda did..

21. Who was the last person you visited in the hospital? I don't remember. I think it was myself.(if you want to know, ask me in person) I honestly don’t know. I don’t remember the last time I was in a hospital. 

22. What does the last text message in your inbox say? "Mrbobbybones:  wish ted would finally meet their mother already. geez. get to it. However, I see myself in that character more and more each episode." yeah. That's what it says. It's from Twitter. (Huh? and I can’t even go check b/c my inbox doesn’t go back to 2009 on Twitter?? (I haven’t had my account that long) Wait wait wait just remembered I used to get tweets to my phone as text messages lol)

Facebook messenger: “ Cool” From our group chat. Lol.

From actual text messages on my phone: “ heeey! Just put up the Tuesday PDS just for you  it’s a big one.” From Phillip Defranco’s text line Lol.

23. How do you feel about your life right now? I'm loving and hating it. but hey nobody gets out alive right? Uh..I mean. I’m alive. I have WiFi. Food. Family. I haven’t seen my friends in 2 years. (Minus Alex, b/c they were here in July to cat/house sit, but I saw them for like, one night..) There’s a lot that could be better. A lot that could be worse. 

24. Do you hate anyone? yes!!! Oof. I mean, kinda.

25. If we were to look in your Facebook Inbox, what would we find? some random conversations. most of my convos on her though have been in chat or through comments. Facebook Inbox is now Facebook Messenger. So you’ll find all my Facebook Messenger convos. Mostly our group chat. And side group chats for secret planning (birthdays & stuff). Plus other chats? Lol.

26. Say you were given a drug test right now, would you pass? I better! (excuse me miss 15yo Linda you absolutely could have passed a drug test you ALSO didn’t drink or smoke or take any drugs lol) Yeah. Absolutely. I don’t drink or smoke or take any drugs so, yeah? Lol.

27. Has anyone ever called you perfect before? 

Yes. But I can't remember when... Yeah. Pretty sure. 

28. What song is stuck in your head? Gee by SNSD(Girls Generation) They're Korean. A few My Chemical Romance songs

29. Someone knocks on your window at 2:00 a.m., who do you want it to be? EDWARD CULLEN! Joke! lol. No I don't know. If it was Edward, I'd call the cops. whoever it is though better have an explaination or they are gonna get hit in the head with my Book of Shadows. (Maybe I wouldn’t mind Edward at my window though? Lol.) Uh. My friends? Lol. Idk if I want anyone knocking on my window at 2am.

30.Wanna have grandkids before you’re 50? I don't know....... Uh. No? Idk. Most likely not gonna happen. 

31. Name something you have to do tomorrow? I can't think of anything right now... Eat. Should probably clean my room.

32. Do you think too much or too little? Way to much! lol. Way way way too much

33. Do you smile a lot? i try to. I think I do. I get told that alot in Theater...

I think so

[jaeyunzie]

your first -- jay

pairing: park jongseong x reader

word count: 987 words

genre: angst!

there will be a pt 2!!

----

jay was beautiful. you were never the type to be interested in love, rather, the concept confused you. coming from a household where love wasn’t prominent clouded your perception of love; until you met him. you didn’t know what made you felt that way, was it his looks? the way he was always ambitious? the fact that he never gave up? you still don’t know what it was but you knew that you fell in love with the park jongseong. 

in jay’s eyes, you were unique; in a good way. you didn’t treat him like a bank like most people he had met, you never doubted him everytime he would make the wrong step and you were always there for him. he liked this. he liked you being there for him and believing in him. so naturally, he fell in love with you too.

it was a surprise to your friends that you ended up with him. how could you? the person who was never keen on love, the person who never payed attention to any conversation about love; ended up falling inlove? they felt transported into another universe. but you couldn’t disagree. being with jay made you feel like you were in another universe. everything felt just right.

today was your 6 month anniversary and you wanted to surprise him. his parents had approved of you, they loved you probably just as much as he did. so it was to no surprise that his mother welcomed you into his house with open arms. “y/n ! what a surprise. jay isn’t home so what’s the occasion?” she welcomed you as she cups your cheeks and slightly pinching them. “hey mrs park, it’s our 6 month anniversary so i wanted to ask if you could maybe help me make some food? i’d love for us to celebrate it with you guys.” you smile at her, pulling up the bag of groceries you’d just bought. “of course! well I have to leave in a few hours to meet some friends so I don’t think I could celebrate but I’d love to help cook.” she replied, taking the groceries from your hand and putting them on the kitchen table.

besides the groceries, you already had a store decorated cake, a gift and some flowers prepared. taking off your shoes, you enter their house. you’ve been here so many times yet you can’t get used how big and how beautiful the interior design was. you wanted to put the gift in his room, as it was special and you wanted him to see it in his private time. “mrs park, is it okay if i put these in jay’s room?” you asked, and the moment she nodded; you head upstairs to where his room is located. you twist the door knob and it was unlocked, as usual. jay had a habit of always leaving his door unlocked no matter what. when you entered, the lights were off and as your eyes scanned the room, it landed on something peculiar. it was a diary. jay has a diary? was your first thought. he had a hard time expressing his feelings and sometimes you would have to beg for him to spill it out, so it was surprising to see but also made sense maybe this was how he relieves his stress you thought. 

for some reason, albeit you knowing it was wrong, you wanted to read it. setting aside the gift, you sat down on his chair and opened what was inside. as his girlfriend, you expected to see your name pop up once or twice. but as you examine the pages even more, another name popped up constantly. you recognised this name, it was his ex, the person he loved before you. this diary is probably old, it’s only been 15 pages was the thought that lingered in your head. you were jealous and there was no denying it, he wrote about her as if them as if they were his whole world. 

10th February

i can’t live without them, i don’t wanna let them go but they wont even look at me. 

you decided that looking through old pages wasn’t gonna help your jealousy problem, so you find a page that had a date in which you knew was significant to your relationship. march 28th, the date you got together. you sighed out of happiness when you saw that your name was the first thing on the page, but that smile on your face did not last long when you read the page even further.

28th March

y/n , they’re beautiful. reminds me too much of them though. i can’t get them out of my head and it has been 2 months since we broke up. i see them in y/n and it hurts when i have to pretend y/n is someone else.

as you flipped the pages even more, his writings were just full of regret and sorrow. Regretful that he was not honest to you, regretful of letting his ex go, regret and regret. the book fell out of your hand and laid on the table, you closed it making it seem as if it were never touched. tears didn’t come out. you don’t know why. it hurt too much to cry. it hurt so much you couldn’t feel anything and you wished you never picked that stupid diary up. you wish you never knew.

as you stood up, you looked down on your gift. your head was filled with voices, should you take it back or act like everything is okay. how could you leave; his mother was downstairs waiting for you. but what do you mean by how could you? the real question was how could jay? how could jay pretend this whole time. he told you that you were unique, he told you that he loved you just as you loved him. how could he?

to be continued

--------

author’s note HAI THIS IS MY FIRST EVER UM work?? idk what to call it lmao im so sorry its crap i havent written anything since my 2018 middle school fanfic phase n now im HORRIBLE at writing anyways yes stay tuned for pt 2!! ill edit this later cuz i wrote this on a whim n theres probably plot holes and mistakes here n there