#the end felt like I was stabbed
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Iām grieving right now.
And I think every fan is as well.
#superman & lois#superman and lois#Superman#Clark kent#cw dc#dc cw#Superman & Lois Cw#Superman and Lois series#Superman and Lois 2021#Superman & Lois 2021#Lois lane#Cw shows#itās actually the end and I canāt believe it#i bawled my eyes out#the end felt like I was stabbed#Iām going to miss this show so bad#Superman & Lois forever#cw dc has ended#š„²#Iām not okay#superman and lois season 4
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yeah so this was insane
#i feel like too many people reduce this interaction to jason being like ālol sameā#but idk :/#this chapter is from jasonās pov#and leading up to it heās like āpeople keep walking on eggshells around me bc of the the michael varus stab woundā#and he hates it so when he goes on deck to help out with the storm#everyoneās like wtf except for percy#and jason states how much he appreciated percy not treating him like a sick kid#and i feel like itās echoed in this sentiment where jason could say so many things like#āyou should never feel that wayā āim here if you need anythingā#but he doesnāt make percy feel alone in his desire to justā¦. end it all#which ik for some people that doesnāt work but youāre not a character in hoo and percy is dealing with so much guilt#and he canāt tell annabeth bc sheās a main aspect of that guilt#and he doesnāt wanna guilt her more and he feels ashamed and when he describes this he feels weird for feeling it#so having jason this tough guy be like āyo i understand it bc i felt the same way#thatās gotta mean a lot to percy#also insane how jason who also struggles to display vulnerability#allows it in one of few times in this moment just so percy this guy heās supposed to be jealous about#feels comforted and not alone in his guilt and shame#and also itās just insane how jasonās wanting to kay em ess does not get talked about AT ALL#and just seeing his mom and the pressure of new rome getting to him#like this scene is insane and iāll never shut up about it#also ignore me iām just finishing my reread of hoo that took all summer#jason grace#percy jackson#pjo#ashla.txt
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assigning each yj core fore member something stupid i did this week
Bart: Got drenched in dishsoap
Kon: walked up to a girl selling lemonade and asked her if she had any grapes
Cassie: Walked around in roller blades then proceeded to fall down the stairs
Tim: stabbed himself in the hand with a pencil while playing catch with a volleyball
#After i asked that girl if she had grapes#she looked so confused#and i felt so bad#i ended up buying lemonade from her for me my sister and my cousin š#And the stabbed hand thing#i have like mocks on monday#And i stabbed my right hand#when it happened my immediate reaction was:#Shit i cant let my mom know#tim drake#red robin#konner kent#kon el#kon el superboy#superboy#bart allen#bartholomew allen#impulse dc#impulse#dc impulse#yj98#conner kent#young justice#cassie sandsmark#cassandra sandsmark#wonder girl#young justice 98#young justice 1998
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3D Printing Rio's Death Crown - Attempt #1 FDM Print
#scaled it about 8% larger than the size it came in but still feels a bit too small#but it also fits very very nicely on one's head#le sigh as one of the front pointy ends snapped off a bit during support removal#which was an experience#felt like i was at risk of stabbing myself in the eye#anyhoo shall treat this as a prototype#playing with this to give myself motivation to do a SLA print#and maybe get stronger resin for this#so it doesn't snap so easily#it IS an extremely cool design
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Castiel telling his side of the story to the audience bc no one in the show would hear him outš
#The most heartbreaking episode in all of history#When he was asking god for a sign at the end of the episode I felt like someone stabbed me#I canāt do this#supernatural#castiel#spn#spn 6x20#tmwwbk
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#this scene hurt SO bad#honestly even after twp ends i will probably still be thinking about it#it felt like a stab to the heart frš#(but was also hella š³ļøāš)#kit herondale#ty blackthorn#kit x ty#kitty#secrets of blackthorn hall#the dark artifices#the wicked powers#sobh#tda#twp#tsc
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I think, for a while, Camila would be really mad at Lilith. She left without a trace then she kissed sided with Adriel, and they lost Ava coz of it, resulting in Bea leaving the Order. And Lilith would feel... irredeemable and nothing really mattered but the Holy War but every time she flies over to OCS hq (coz she likes to check up on them if they're preparing), she'd see Camila training new recruits, and being ruthless, the way Lilith used to be on the woman, but then be a cinnamon roll after that, helping the one she just beat over the mat, and Lilith just, you know, wants to apologize. Make it right. Lilith doesn't really care about the others. Camila's forgiveness was all she needed wanted.
So one day, in the middle of the night, she teleports to Camila's room and comes face-to-face with an angry cinnamon roll with a divinium dagger in hand against her neck. Lilith didn't teleport away, she let the blade cut her neck, but her wings unfurled involuntarily.
And the scene might go like this:
Camila, with unshed tears, "Give me one valid reason not to slit your throat right here, right now."
Lilith, mustering up all the courage, knowing she would might die that night, "I'm sorry. For everything."
Then Lilith would fall on her knees, head bent down, neck exposed, while Camila would look down on her, blade on her hand. Slowly, she pointed it down at her neck and Lilith closed her eyes, waiting for the blade, believing she deserves whatever punishment Camila would give her.
Then she'd hear a clang beside her, the dagger near her knees.
Lilith, being all confused, would look up, and see a crying Camila, shaking. With anger or with sadness, she wasn't sure.
For a while, they stayed like that.
Lilith, wings unfurled on her side, kneeling in front of Camila.
#warrior nun#save warrior nun#sister camila#sister lilith#camila x lilith#this started as a random thought#now i felt like i created a scene for a fanfic#i have two endings here#on the brighter side camila would also kneel and hug lilith telling her she forgave her and all and they live happily ever after#on the darker side camila tell lilith she won't hesitate to stab her neck if she ever comes back but lilith would always come back#either lilith really wants camila to forgive her or she wants to punish herself#yes people they're inlove with each other but adriel happened okay?
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Welp that was the longest I've ever been tattooed šµāš« over 7 straight hours. My body is so dead right now. And honestly what sucked the most was just having to sit that long, my ass was fuckin killing me lol
Anyway here's a lil sneak peak I took halfway through š it's all wrapped up in saniderm now š©¹
#me#personal#tattoo#the white highlight at the end literally felt like i was being stabbed with a red hot knife š©
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bittersweet endings where one person or both people leave each other, whether through time or circumstances or the fact things will never be this, exactly this, again, a leaving that just has to happen naturally---
#ohhhhhhhhhhhh I havent felt this way about an ending since tbsym.......................#I feel like sunnyomori when he stabs himself. aUGH#asukies ramble
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mag 200. my brain chemistry will never be the same
#tma spoilers#duh#iāll be talking about my thoughts here#iām so proud they managed to make an audio kiss sound not disgusting#fantastic work gang#ALSO HUUYGGHHHH#i didnāt cry at the stabbing but i felt myself get teary at the āgoodbye and good luckā bit at the end#i just NEED A MINUTE#THEYāLL BE TOGETHER RIGHT?????????????#RIGJT??#the imagery created by the soundscaping was insane#like they knocked it out of the park#and the voice actingā¦ā¦#OH MY DAYS#i donāt know what to do now all iāve been doing for the past 3 or so weeks is listen to the magnus archives#iāll have to find another rq podcast to go crazy over#mag 200
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to this day, this is still the most beautiful samdean first kiss I've ever read. it's just so. ugh. makes me emotional every time. perfect.
screenshot below the cut, spoilers for two-headed boy (the second part of the ballad of the invisible boy)
#fun fact this fic for me ends here#like exactly here#because the direction it took after this (and by that I mean dean's behavior iykyk) felt like being stabbed in the back a thousand times#so for my own sanity I have to imagine the story ending here lol#samdean#fic#ā#the ballad of the invisible boy
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Quick PSA about this blog
The anon and I sorted it out over DMs so all is good now!
I'm not a huge Tetocest fan or anything, I just like it when someone draws really nice drawings of them and they happen to be Teto x Teto, so the chance of me drawing Teto x Teto is kinda low but not zero. Like I wrote in my chart, I mostly treat them as a cute pair of sisters, and that chart was a Miku x Teto chart because Negidrill is my OTP.
If I ever make Tetocest art, it's not with the assumption that they're sisters or related or seeing each other in a familial way. I'm grossed out by incest of any kind, and I'm also grossed out by pseudo-incest. Tetocest (selfcest) is literally Teto x herself/a different version of herself, not a relative or anything, so I wanted to make that clear.
I'll be tagging all my stuff that isn't quick doodles/text, so if you're anti-Tetocest or Teto x Teto or something, you can blacklist that tag or avoid me altogether because I don't hate it. The chance I'll draw actual Teto x Teto that isn't cute platonic love is like 5% though, 'cuz I like Miku x Teto more than anything and that's my main priority.
If anyone has beef with anything I like, I absolutely encourage you to unfollow me or avoid me because this is where I post art of MY interests and I don't want to be treated like a criminal in my own space.
My Miku x Teto is NOT proship (I always ship them around the same age) and I don't support proship or anything weird/immoral. I'm fine with criticism if I do something wrong but please don't be aggressive towards me because Mktt is extremely precious to me and I don't want to be chased away from my own space. You won't believe my ability to self-isolate lol but I'm not afraid of being alone, even if my love for Mktt will never die (especially not 'cuz of anyone).
For now I'll continue to draw/write Mktt/Voca/UTAUloid art at my own leisure with my own headcanons and interests, and I'm not doing it for attention. I'm doing it out of love for the characters.
Thanks for reading! ^^
#tldr; i'm not a diehard fan of tetocest but#i dont hate it either#mktt is still my otp#dont trash my interests pls since i'm in my own lane#that is all!#btw i might be low activity for a week or two cuz finishing something i procrastinated thru mktt#but after that i wanna go all in on mktt art!! i love ngdrll a lot#it makes me extremely happy so if people trash it or attack me then i'll get defensive/heated#im sharing stuff out of love and spreading the love but if i am only greeted with hate then#i wont disappear but u will not be given access to my stuff or me. like?? please.#looking forward to miku's bday! i havent figured out if i can do anything for her yet!#dont hate on anon btw it was a misunderstanding#they're anonymous anyway so u cant namedrop but i want to put this behind me now#mktt stop putting me thru rollercoaster emotions challenge (failed)#it's cuz i love them so much ok. sob š#u would get it too if you loved them as much as me#it's like being stabbed btw whenever anything bad happens lmao.#idk how that feels but all i know is the pain is felt and sharp and sad#it's not an addiction or an obsession. i just love them. end of.#hopefully forever#if u were me u'd get it but im not writing my backstory heh#i dont love them in a pathetic/unwilling way. it's all 100% choice and conscious#the really strong emotions however. those i do not choose lmfao.
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it's been 3+ years but i stay a jmart hater btw
#martin is genuinely one of my least fave characters every time he's there i get annoyed his role could've been combined w someone else's and#it would've been fine and all his fans are annoying cottagecore 'good cows' bitches who project onto him#literally if you want jon to kiss a guy there are better options like gerry or oliver . i don't want to see the protagonist of my horror#podcast in a healthy supportive relationship i want to see toxic doomed yaoi . i want him to fall in love w something he can never have#which will make him so much worse if he has to fall in love w something at all.#it's why the finale sucked sm i felt nothing when martin stabbed him bc it just seemed so melodramatic .#and one thing you should know abt me by now is that i love it when one of the tragic lovers kills the other at the end.#romeo.txt
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i had a dream that i made little cards that say "THEY!" on them that i handed out to people at work who got my pronouns wrong, immediately after they got it wrong. and in smaller text (or on the back) it said "i don't want an apology, i want you to do better" or "don't say you're sorry, DO BETTER" and ..... i kind of want to do it. maybe i'll get some moo cards made lmao
various scenarios included:
me slamming it down on a desk in front of them.
instead i had stickers, would slowly peel one off while they watched, and stick it on it on them.
handing out a quarter sheet piece of paper based on the 'i caught being good' tags we'd get in kindergarten which said 'i got caught misgendering hallie/my coworker'. it would have their name and date on it and a giant š face. i had them as a pad of paper and would hold up a finger to say 'wait a second', dramatically pull it out of my back pocket, take my pen out of another pocket, slowly fill it out in front of them, and hand it to them while staring them in the eyes.
getting a whiteboard for the outer side of my cubicle wall that said '[days] since i was misgendred' (with a bonus by saying 'last offender: [name]'
i also dreamt that i got into trouble for it because i was making people feel bad and was 'creating a hostile work environment'. i was just like.... okay and how do you think i feel? and my boss shut up real fuckin quick. dunno if that would be the case irl but if that does happen i can only dream.
#tired of the people who say 'i'm trying but i'm going to make mistakes'#ok sure i definitely mess up sometimes too but when it's not even close to 50/50 let alone merely uncommon ............. fuck you#what's sad is it's all people i like and it hurts so much#in the dream it the cards also said something about how i'm not a girl. not a lady. not a woman. stop saying that word to me ...#... in plural when i'm with female coworkers. about half the time i say 'not a lady' and only about half the time it's acknowleged#or that one who constantly posts female-empowering images on ig which are alienating bc it's clearly very binary#and getting comments like 'well it applies to you to!!!' why bc i have a pussy? fuck off#and she'll sometimes say 'thank you for your patience' (what patience) or 'have patience with me' (no.)#i've also thought of holding up my name tag in their faces bc my previous boss had it specially made for me#it's got my name position and pronouns#same boss tho..... he was REALLY consistent about using my pronouns but one day used she/her three times in a row before eventually...#... correcting himself and the next day i told him that really sucked especially from him and he later told me i should have been nicer...#... about it. i was PISSED. i said 'well then how should i have said it?' i don't even remember his answer i just know i wanted to go...#... off on him SO BADLY bc he said it 'hurt his feelings'. well too fucking bad bc every time i'm misgendered it makes me want to...#...die inside a little and feels like at the very least a tiny punch to the gut but that felt like being stabbed esp since it was a new hir#he also said 'ok but i corrected myself' yeah AT THE END after doing it THREE TIMES and that's not the point here#anyway lol this dream definitely stirred up shit unfortunately but i'm serious when i say i might actually have these made#like both my internal email and external emails have my pronouns in them (i had to campaign for this btw so thank you me)#but i recently added my own custom signature with 'they/them' in it that has a link about using pronouns correctly#me#lgbtq#nonbinary
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when someone's adam's apple is so prominent you get scared & start picturing it getting removed & shaved off with knives scalpels & scissors
#it bothered & disgusted me to no end in ninth grade literally made me physically ill to see them just jut out like that#i still feel like there is something painful going on in that area & i avert my eyes lest the thoughts run wild#i remember one time when i was really young i watched some daytime doctor talk show i forgot what it was called#but i have a vivid memory of them removing something behind the bellybutton like as big as a gallbladder IDK if it was a tumor or hernia#but it seriously freaked me out for Life i already felt stabbing pains whenever i touched that area & i had developed a new Fear ever since#like i keep imagining that growth or organ or whatever that was in the same way i think about adam's apples#i just feel pain in my throat like OMG GET THAT OUT OF THERE !!!!!!!!!#sorry
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going to make my own version of those "that girl" videos that used to go around on tiktok (which were basically aesthetically-styled disordered eating so far as i could tell tbh) but mine will be me eating stuff like hard-boiled eggs slathered with mustard & enjoying it with a degree of enthusiasm that viewers find off-putting. my "that girl" trait will not be yoga or drinking five gallons of water a day or even having nice hair or clear skin, it will simply be my joie de vivre or however it's spelled
#i used to eat hard boiled eggs w mustard on them all the time in college bc they had them in the vending machines#and they also had packets of mustard#and i forgot my lunch like every day lol#so that became my lunch#it's a humbling experience to eat a wholeass hard boiled egg in public with like. no knife to cut it in half btw. like you just have to#take bites and it's fine but you feel silly and inelegant#it does not help if you are very gender nonconforming at the time but like. aren't trying to be. jfhfhfjgh#<- was really bad at fitting in during college bc i had super short hair and wore men's jeans and sweaters from goodwill#all of which are actually swag things to do btw but like it doesn't feel swag at all if you like. are actually trying to fit in#and are just very bad at it#and genuinely cannot connect the dots on Why Girls Don't Want To Be Your Friend (it CAN'T just be that you're getting read as queer. right?)#(because that would be so messed up if it was because of that.)#[narrator voice: it was because of that]#anyways this is off the rails bc it was supposed to be about eggs and my love of them but#a lot of people say that college is better than high school. and for me it WAS by a lot but it still was really hard in a lot of ways#i felt deeply isolated. i went to an ag school in the middle of a midwest state and studied STEM#in high school i associated with basically only queer art kids (not a huge high school and a lot of us weren't out yet but. y'know.)#and then in college i felt very out of place#and towards the end of college i decided to try and take a stab at looking more traditionally feminine. grew out my hair#got rid of my bangs#it was fine#i definitely noticed that people treated me much nicer once i had long hair and women's clothes that actually fit me#and i was like okay yeah so i guess i just should try to pass as straight then. that seems like it'll be easier#during the pandemic i gave myself bangs again. just a lil bi girl swag yk. and then last august i got my hair cut into a real short bob#and i immediately felt so much more like myself. idk how to explain it. but i was just like not meant to be feminine in that exact way#i'm honestly still pretty feminine presenting overall but#i love the fact that if i wear my hair messy now it looks kinda boyish. and if i style it nicely it looks girly.#i feel like i have options yk. and i still don't think i get read as queer now tbh? though i'm bad at knowing these things#but i don't feel like i'm HIDING anymore#WOW THAT WAS LONG SORRY LMAO
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