#i didn’t cry at the stabbing but i felt myself get teary at the ‘goodbye and good luck’ bit at the end

[lightbluesleeper]

mag 200. my brain chemistry will never be the same

[bakugohoex]

CONGRATS ON 1K !!! can i request iwaizumi with #8 ? pls i love reading angsty iwa—

“don’t leave me, you promised you wouldn’t leave me”

pairing: hajime iwaizumi x gender neutral reader

cw: implied sex, angst, crying 

word count: 1100+

a/n: aww thank you so much bby, bro idk how i even wrote angst, i used to hate it but i love making myself sad, hope you guys like the 3rd oneshot for my 1k event, i’m going to go watch kuroko no basket and cry

summary: in which iwaizumi begins to fall out of love with you, until all he feels is a stranger around you

1k event masterlist

↞ back to haikyu!! masterlist

Iwaizumi didn’t know the moment he fell out of love with you, maybe it had grown over the past months, every night beside you he felt nothing. No love or passion for the relationship, everything he had wanted in a relationship had passed within a year of you both dating. You both had become strangers even when you tried hard to initiate sex or even cook him dinner, how could he look into your eyes and see love when all he could see was nothing.

He couldn’t remember the last time he had wanted to come home to meet you, he knew it must have been the night when he had seen you making dinner months ago. It was supposed to be a happy occasion, you looked perfect to him but in a matter of minutes the perfection that you held swirled into nothing. He felt empty sitting in front of you, your comments on his day, was this what your relationship had come to. Eating dinner, silently talking about your day and then watching a movie, he hated it. He initially had not thought anything of it, knowing how relationships got to this stage and it’d pass over. But it never did. 

Every day for the past couple of months, he had come home with a tired look and an emptiness inside of him. The normal kiss on your cheek felt mechanical as if he was made to do it, he didn't want to. It brought him no happiness nor satisfaction, Iwaizumi kept at it though, he tried he did, he tried initiating sex, tried to feel love every time he thrusted into you. But he felt nothing, he would see you get your high and lie beside him as if you were just a one-night stand. 

He stopped cuddling you, stopped putting his arms around your waist, stopped hugging and kissing. He was making you both say firmly distant, he had fallen out of love with you just as easily as he had fallen in love with you. 

He sat upright on the bed, scrolling through his phone, you laid beside him on your side. You knew he had grown distant, how sex felt like nothing with him, how he’d only refer to you by your name. No more kisses or hugs goodbye, nothing, he looked at you blankly with no will, you refused to meet his gaze, staying in silence as he continued to flick through his phone. 

He had only been doing it to avoid a conversation with you, it was a common occurrence for him to stay late with the boys, which in reality was him sitting in his car for an hour to avoid dinner with you. How could he tell you though, how could he confess whenever he kissed you, he felt no love or comfort. “Hajime.” You whispered softly.

“Yeah.” He muttered not meeting your gaze, he stayed content on his phone not bothering to turn to cuddle you to see if you were okay.

You missed his arms, you had thought everything was going fine but his growing distance made you worry, maybe it was just the stress of the job. Maybe he was just overwhelmed, “is everything okay?” 

Turning to face the boy, he looked down at you before looking back at his phone. “Everything's fine.” He put his phone down closing the light as he turned away from you, your heart shattered at his action, he was hiding something, and he had stopped caring about you in a matter of seconds. 

You faced the other end, you might've been together but, in this moment, you both felt ever so alone. The lack of contact continued until the fateful night had occurred, Iwaizumi knew he couldn't spend hours in his car to spend less time with you, even on weekends he’d spend hours in the gym. 

He came home late at night, hearing the television play of some random movie. He saw your figure on the couch, he already knew his past self would’ve gone to join you, hug you and cuddle inside your hoodie. Leaving soft kisses against your chest but all the truly felt was nothing. “Y/n.”

He could hear your sniffling as he came closer turning the light on to finally see your face. Tears streamed down your face and a silence between you two, “Y/n.” He repeated.

“Hajime.” You whimpered out. 

“I...I don’t love you anymore.” He blurted it out so easily, even with the months it had taken him to confess his love to you, his rejection of you felt like a stab to the heart of how easy it had been for him. Tears streamed down your face, you had had the gut feeling this would occur, the feeling that the end of your relationship with the man you loved would come. 

You stood to meet his gaze, “I...What did i do?”

Even with your crying teary eyed face, he felt nothing, he felt like a stranger without the capabilities of comforting you. “Nothing, I fell out of love with you.” He spoke coldly. 

Anger seethed through you, he looked at you as if he had never met you before, as if you hadn’t spent the past year in love. You remembered his words a couple months into dating, his promise to never leave you, his promise to stay with you forever. You had both watched the stars making random names for the stars and a promise had evolved from the date. But here now, with this stranger, it felt like all the memories you ever had with him were gone. 

“Don’t leave me, you promised you wouldn’t leave me.” You begged through the tears, hoping he’d feel some guilt, but he gave you a low look. 

“I lied.” He took a sharp breath continuing, “you can have the apartment.” It was the last sound you heard, watching him go into the bedroom that you had shared with him, slept with him in, made love with him in. The empty memories you felt watching him with a bag, taking one deep breath before dropping the keys to the side and leaving out the door in a matter of moments. 

Iwaizumi didn’t know when he fell out of love with you, but the emptiness he had had in a relationship with you had only become stronger at every step he took towards his car. He may have not loved you, but he had broken a promise that he thought he’d live by till his death. Iwaizumi never thought he’d find himself free with you crying in the apartment, but here he was in his car, tears dripping down his own face at the loss of a stranger.

i’d really appreciate if you guys could leave a like, reblog or comment, thanks x

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[sector-i-closed]

Replaced?

Vampire!San x Pet!reader

Warning: angst

'It happened... I didn't see it coming...' You sniffled quietly into your pillows, still reeling from disbelief at finding your master browsing for human pets on the internet earlier in the evening.

'I was so gullible to think that I meant anything to him...' You choked on the abrupt intake of air into your lungs, unable to get enough oxygen into your lungs because of your nose being obstructed by the phlegm that filled your nasal passages.

It was a shock to you when you glanced over Choi San's shoulder, finding him going over the photos of potential pets to buy that were of both sexes.

Betrayal resonated in your soul and you were certain that he was shopping for your replacement and soon you would be without a master and a home.

'Was I not... good enough?' You thought to yourself bitterly, gripping your pillow tightly in your hands.

To make things worse, the vampire smiled at you cheekily and commented that you were a 'very nosy kitten', affectionately he tapped your nose and giggled as if it was a normal thing to discover that you were about to be replaced.

You thought about the times that he brought happiness into your life as your master and your heart ached at the thought of the bond that you shared with him was meaningless to him.

'I don't want to say goodbye' You sighed in sadness, staring through the window at the darkness outside.

'Maybe I should leave now..." You blinked, slowly standing and approaching the window.

Quietly you raised it and peered outside at the eerie stillness, unable to move yourself to leave because even if you were about to be tossed aside by San, you still loved him and wanted every moment that you could have with him because you would never get those moments again.

"What are you doing, kitten? Isn't it too dark and dangerous to be going for a walk out there? I think you forgot me." Your master whispered against your ear while tenderly wrapping his arms around your waist.

"M-master..." You sobbed out, feeling your emotions resurface in your heart.

"Are you okay, pet? What's wrong?" San spun you around to face him, examining the tears that streamed down your face as his attractive face scrunched up into a look of concern. He had no idea what was wrong since you had seemed off ever since he was shopping for a pet as a gift for his friend Wooyoung.

"It's n-nothing... I just needed air, and was thinking about how much I love you." You gave him a teary smile as he wiped away your hot teardrops with his thumb.

"Then stop crying if you love me so much." San smiled at you teasingly, wrapping his arms around you and allowing you to bury your face in his chest.

A pain stabbed at your heart and you wondered if you would be able to stay with him like this, the pain of believing that he was about to discard you was crushing you and somehow you felt that you needed to get as far away from him as you could.

"Never forget how much I love you, pet. With every moment and second that passes I find myself feeling thankful and fortunate that you are in my life." San murmured softly while pressing a kiss to the top of your head.

More tears filled your eyes as you quietly nodded, convincing yourself that his words were untrue and you didn't know what you were going to do.

[fandomfindings]

Disintegrate

Pairing(s) : (Reader x Peter Parker) (Reader x Dad! Tony Stark)

Word Count : 1.7K

Warning(s) : Infinity War Spoilers. (If that’s still a thing)

Summary : The affects of Thanos’ actions takes a toll on those heroes left on Titan, including yourself,your lover,and your father.

I DO NOT OWN THIS GIF

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Thanos got away. He's going after Vision. The last piece to his plan to rid the universe of half its population. We were all stuck on Titan probably without a way to get home, at least for a while.By the time we do it might already be too late.

Everyone sat in silence, in defeat. I was sitting next to Tony, my father, who was badly wounded. Across from us sat Strange who just gave away the time stone. He saved my father's life but to what cost, we may all die in the end anyway.

Peter, my love, was no where to be seen as of yet. I saw him help out the guardians so he should be okay. Curse those guardians, at least one of them, Peter Quill. How dare he share the name of the one I love? He doesn't deserve it after he cost us everything .We almost had the gauntlet off. If only he had just waited a few more seconds, he could have used the gauntlet to give Thanos what he deserved.  

I understand he lost someone he loved but because of him many others will lose their loved ones as well. Due to his rash decisions we were not able to grasp the upper hand that was just out of our reach. Damn him. I look to see Peter with the guardians he had previously saved, setting them on the ground . In an instant I ran to him enveloping him in the biggest hug I could fathom in such a weak state.

Thanos had done a number in on me as well but nothing that I couldn't handle. I knew that I would be sore tomorrow, that is if we live to see the day. I looked into Peter's eyes giving him a long and passionate kiss, being happy that he was okay. I heard someone talking to my father in the background about Thanos but I ignored the conversation. We pulled a part and just admired each others faces until the moment was disturbed by my dad's coughing. I gave Peter one last look before running off to check on my dad.

"Dad! Dad. Are you okay ?" I questioned, looking down at the stab wound Thanos had given him. Dad patched it up but I wouldn’t be surprised if he had internal bleeding or something along those lines .

"I'm fine sweetie, nothing to worry about." He replied, moving my now unkempt hair out of my face smiling softly. My smile matched his until I heard a gasp in the near distance. I immediately looked over to see Mantis flaking away in a dust like form, almost like she was disintegrating. Everyone eyes widened at this, including Drax who was unfortunately the next victim of the unknown disappearances.

"Dad what's happening?" I said panicking, looking over to my just as lost and confused father. I saw my dad glance over and I followed his eye line to where Dr.Strange sat, he was also now meeting a particle like end .

"It had to be done." Strange said lowly, that being the last words before he was no longer there. I looked around and saw that the only ones remaining were myself, Dad, Peter and Quill. I glared at Quill and stomped over to him not being able to control my anger . As soon as I reached him I slapped him with all of my might .

"You did this! If you would've let us grab the gauntlet we wouldn't be in this mess! I understand you lost someone important to you but now trillions will lose their loved ones as well !" I screamed in his face. He could not bare to look me in my now blood red eyes.

"If you had only waited ten God damn seconds you selfish piece of shit !" I screamed, beating at his chest between each word not being able to stop myself. My punches were weak so they didn't hurt him but my words did hurt his heart and I didn't care. I was soon pulled away by my father as I crumbled to the ground.

I looked up to see that Quill himself was now disintegrating as well. I let a sad yet angry tear fall for the man I barely knew, but I knew deep down no one deserved this ending.My dad smoothed over my hair trying to calm me and it worked a little, until I heard Peter's weak voice, sending me into another panicked state.

"Mr.Stark ?" Peter questioned stumbling over to my father and I. I quickly got up and met him half way taking him into my arms.Tears were streaming down my face at an alarming rate as I looked at Peter.

" I don't feel so good. " Peter said as my father joined, helping me hold the young man up. I sobbed out not being able to say a word .

" You're alright. " Tony said calmly trying not make either of you panic, it didn't work. Peter's eyes began to water as he looked between my father and I, making me cry even more, I hated seeing him like this.

" I don't know - I don't know what's happening." Peter stated, holding on tighter to my dad and I . Before I could try and reassure him he began to talk again.

" I don't wanna go, I don’t wanna go." He repeated, making my heart ache in the process. His eyes began to look distant, as if he couldn't focus on anything .

" Hey Peter. Peter look at me.You're not going anywhere baby okay . I'm right here just look at me. " I reassured, trying to stop my own tears but to no avail. I knew what would become of my Peter. Peter acknowledged my calm tone and his eyes now focused on me. However, the moment was short lived, for we all saw his body begin to float around us . His short and calm state was now a panicked one again.

" Sir please, please I don’t wanna go. I don’t wanna go. " Peter cried out . We lost our balance and Peter was now on the ground looking between my father and I. Peter grabbed my hand as I shook with tear clouded eyes .

" I love you. I always will, never forget." Peter said looking deep into my blurry eyes. All I saw was him , all I ever wanted to see was him, but he was slowly disappearing in front of my eyes .

" I love you Peter.I love you so much. " at my words Peter smiled faintly . He moved his hand to wipe my tears and as soon as he did his hand disappeared in front of my face. I choked out a whimper looking back down to his face as it cracked. Peter had appeared to accept his faith but I refused to.

" I'm sorry. " Peter said giving out one last whisper looking at both my father and I. I refused to blink, if I dared to Peter would be gone forever. I bent down to hug his armless torso a final time. I closed my eyes wanting to hold on to the feeling of him for as long as I could. I felt his hair tickling my face but before I knew it all feeling of him was gone and I was left hugging myself.  

I screamed out to the galaxy as loud as my damaged vocal cords would allow. It was painful but not as painful as watching the love of my life float away forever. I gripped my hair rocking back and forth trying to find a explanation on how this could possibly be happening.

I looked over to my dad and saw him staring at the spot where Peter once was. Him holding own his hand in denial, rocking similar to myself. He looked over to me teary eyed almost apologetically. Then his eyes changed, more sadness written in them, more anger, more denial.

"Sweetie ." Dad stated simply making his way over to me. I wondered what caused his amplified mood change, until he reached to grab my hand.I look down and noticied my legs were slowly leaving. I was so distraught about Peter that I didn't realize I would be soon after him.

"Daddy? " I pleaded out , I was a scared little kid again after a nightmare.  I was still of young age, much like Peter, I wasn't ready to die, especially not like this .

I wanted to continue to save those who needed it. I wanted to go to college and earn a degree for when I decided to settle down. I wanted to marry Peter. I wanted us to have children of our own. I wanted to watch my dad love his grandchildren. I wanted to watch them grow and have children of their own. I wanted to die old with Peter by my side, enjoying the life we shared together. My wants were now only a fantasy I could never live out.

My dad now had me in his arms. He looked down with tears in his eyes, most likely mirroring my own. He wiped them away but not fast enough,for many more followed.

"Daddy I'm not ready. I'm not ready." I explained, holding on tightly to him. The sound of my voice made this scene so much worse for him. He was saying goodbye to his only child. The person he loved most in life.

" I know sweetie, I know. You're going to be fine." He tried to comfort but I knew he was screaming on the inside. He didn't want to freak me out.I seemed to be fading faster than Peter maybe because when he left it was almost in slow motion yet all at once, it was hard to explain.

" I love you dad." I said feeling my self fade. I wanted to have the last thing I said to my dad be the most important.

" I love you too sweetie." He cried out . This was the last thing I heard before I was essentially nothing but dust in the wind. I didn't know this but my dad lost it after that. He couldn't process anything, just that fact that everyone was gone,including me.

A/N: Thank you all for reading! Also sorry if you feel like Peter Quill was not partially to blame, I just felt like it would make the imagine better. Feel free to leave me some feedback on how you think I did! :)

[tigerinthestars]

What Can Go Wrong Part III [Final]

Summary: What was supposed to be a simple heist spirals out of control. Everything seems to be going from bad to worse. What was Murphy's Law again?

Also, the one where Jeremy saves you from certain death.

Pairing: FAHC!Jeremy x FAHC!Reader

Words: 3,052

Warnings: Language and violence.

A/N: Here’s the third and final part! Enjoy!

Read it on AO3!

Part I ~ Part II

You don’t know how long you sat there grieving before you felt a hand on your shoulder. You looked up to see Jack had opened your door and was crouched down on her knees. Her red hair was frizzy and there was blood on her floral shirt. Jeremy's blood, you guessed with a hiccup. Her eyes were kind and sad, flickering between you and the hat in your hands, as she forced a smile on her lips, her thumb rubbing your shoulder in soothing circles.

"He's gonna be okay." Her voice wavered as she said those words, a single tear fell from her eyes. She looked like she wanted to say more but either she couldn't find the words or was unable to without breaking down, you weren't sure which.

You couldn't find your voice to respond, just fell heavily into her arms. A fresh set of sobs and tears spilled from you. Jack wrapped her arms around you tightly, her own tears fell onto your filthy shirt. You both were knelt on the floor, crying into each other’s arms. After a moment, there was a shadow that fell upon you both. You didn't move an inch as you sensed the presence of others around you. You looked up when you heard someone sniffle and saw the rest of your chosen family.

Michael had taken his glasses off and was rubbing his eyes. Gavin was hanging his head in defeat. Lindsay had her forehead pressed against Michael's shoulder, her lips pressed in a hard line and eyes screwed shut. Geoff had tears freely falling from his eyes, a hand covered his mouth and his gaze was fixed on the hat in your hand. Ryan had pulled his mask off and was staring at it in his hands with a faraway look in his blue eyes.

Jack looked up as well, her teary gaze falling on the hurting family as well. You both stood together. All of you stepped forward, together, arms curling around each other’s shoulders. You all had moved into a circle, creating a group hug with your heads bowed. Your arms had remained in front of you, Jeremy's hat still in your hands. You were all painfully aware of the absent member of your family. Your hurt shared between each other as you all stood in silence. That was, until someone was brave enough to break it.

"Is he going to be okay?" Gavin asked hesitantly, his voice small and heavy with emotion. His accent thickened in his grief.

"Yeah," Geoff managed to respond, his voice cracking, "They said he should be fine."

You let out a breathed in relief, your eyes closing as you tried to compose yourself. While the news was good, this still hit too close. It still was a shock. One you will not be forgetting anytime soon.

"Fuck." Michael muttered, his eyes red with tears. "What the fuck happened?"

"He saved her," Ryan answered, "He took the bullet for Y/N."

You looked up then, up at the faces of the people you called family. You saw the remnants of their grief and having verbal conformation that you were technically responsible stabbed you like an ice-cold knife. What if…

"Damn that boy," Jack said, "His heart of gold."

"This would have been a different story if Jeremy hadn't pushed you down." Ryan said, looking right at you.  "Jeremy saved your life."

You nodded at him, but you couldn't help the guilt you felt. Jeremy almost died because of you. If you weren't there. If you weren't involved. Maybe…

"He cares so much for you, you know?" Jack spoke softly to you, perceptive as always. She may not know exactly where your thoughts were taking you, but she probably had a decent idea. She always did.

You nodded again and tried to quell the guilt you felt. Licking your dry lips, you tried to clear your throat. "When can I see him?" Clearing your throat didn't help much, your voice still sounded wrecked.

"They said they would call when they were done."  Geoff answered you, his voice sounding much better than it had moments ago. "Why don't we all get cleaned up? There's no telling how long it will take."

Everyone mumbled their agreements and you moved as a unit to the elevator. In the bright light of the elevator, you were reminded of your sore head. You needed to be checked out by the medical staff. Although, everyone down there is probably busy with Jeremy. May as well get cleaned up and have half their job done for them so you have more time with Jeremy.

The elevator ride to the top floors was filled with a comfortable silence as everyone broke off to their floors to get washed up. You had kept your eyes down cast to the battered hat in your grip. You got off on your floor, biding everyone a nod as a goodbye, not able to force a smile yet. You shared this floor with Jeremy. You felt the lump in your throat reform as the reality of what almost happened dawned on you once again. You don’t know what you would have done if Jeremy didn't make it. If you had to come back here without him.

With a shaky sigh you made your way to your master bedroom with its en suite bathroom. Once there, you laid the hat on your bed, your gaze lingering on the silly thing before you moved to gather up some fresh clothes from your shared closet and enter the bathroom. For the first time since to heist started you got to see what state your appearance was in staring at you from your reflection. You saw red and puff eyes and dried tear tracks; frizzy and matted hair; soot and dirt on your face and dried blood on your temple coming from somewhere above your hairline, probably from when you hit your head in the car; and bruises blossoming all over yourself. You have certainly seen better days. You looked awful.

You began to carefully peel your dirty and ripped clothes off your body. Once done, you turned the shower on and waited for the water to heat up. You inspected your body for any more injuries. You only found shallow cuts and scrapes, thankfully. When the steam began to rise, you stepped into the spacious shower and simply stood there. You watched the blood get washed off your body and swirl down the drain. You wished your pain would wash away just as easily.

You went through the motions of cleaning yourself, trying and failing to keep your mind off what was happening floors below you. You didn't want to, but you cursed him for putting you through this. You were beginning to hate the feelings in your chest. How could he do this to you? What was he thinking? Did he think getting himself killed was going to save you? How damn selfish is that?

You swallowed around the lump in your throat as your scrubbed your scalp. You loved him with all your heart. With every fiber of your being. You were so thankful to have met Jeremy in the first place. But in this moment, at this particular moment, you wished you had never met him. If you didn't know him, then you wouldn't be hurting like this. These thoughts only made you hate yourself. The bitter taste in your mouth grew as you finished your shower and grabbed your towel.

You dried yourself off angrily, though you weren't sure who you were angry with at that moment. Once dry, you peaked at yourself in the mirror and resolved that you looked better. Pulling on the clothes you grabbed, a loose t-shirt and sweat pants and a pair of underwear, and brushing your hair you still saw the emotions flashing through your eyes, you saw the tension in your body.

You were startled from your staring contest with your reflection by a knock on the door. Putting the brush down, you ran a hand through your wet hair as you made your way to the door to your floor. When you opened the door, you saw Geoff and Jack, cleaned up and wearing comfy clothes like you.

"Caleb called. He said they're done. Jeremy is fine, sleeping and pumped full of pain meds." Geoff informed you, a smile on his face.

"I came to walk you down, if you don't mind." Jack added with a smile of her own.

"Okay," you replied, "I just need to grab something really quick." You turned and made your way back to your bedroom when they nodded.

Your gaze immediately fell to the hat on your bed. You grabbed it and one of Jeremy's hoodies and went back out to Jack and Geoff who had stepped inside when you left them at the door. They gave you sad smiles when they saw what was in your arms.

"You ready?" Jack asked.

You took a moment to think, was there anything else? "He almost died." Your voice sounded hallow even to your own ears.

"But he didn't," Geoff said immediately. "It wasn't your fault, Y/N."

"Wasn't it?"

"No, it wasn't. This was his choice." Jack spoke softly. "Don’t do this to yourself, Y/N.”

"Do this to myself? He-" you interrupted yourself and looked at the floor, stealing yourself. "Should I grab him clothes?" You continued in almost a whisper.

"I'll grab them," Geoff offered, "You girls go ahead."

Jack stepped forward and placed an arm around your shoulders and guided you to the elevator. She pressed the button for the basement level and pulled you tightly into her side. "I know it hurts right now, but know that this was not your fault. In fact, you can ask him yourself when he wakes up."

"Oh, I definitely will be." You said, the hint of a smile tugged at your lips.

"I am sure he will love every moment of the verbal lashing you will give him as soon as he wakes."

"He better, the fool."

"Aren't we all?" Jack said with a chuckle as the elevator dinged, signaling that you had arrived at the appropriate floor.

The two of you made your way through the infirmary, one of the nurses pointed out the room to you as you passed. Both of you paused, Jack's hand on the door handle while yours tighten their grip on the cowboy hat and the jacket. After a moment of hesitation, you both pushed your way into the room and you found yourself once more fighting tears at the sight of him.

Jeremy was lying in a hospital bed with a sheet tucked tightly around his body. Both his arms were laid out, IV leads connecting him to the machines that surrounded him, and a blood pressure cuff was secured on his left bicep. The heart rate monitor beeped in an even rhythm and was the only sound in the room. They had cleaned his face of blood and grime, as with the rest of his body, from what you could see. He was dressed in a white shirt which hid, with help from the blanket, the damages from sight. He looked peaceful, completely at rest. That's what got you. All this scare and he is just peacefully lying there, oblivious and ignorant.

Jack guided you to the chair that had been placed by his bedside in anticipation for your arrival. You sat numbly, not once looking away from his sleeping face. Jack pulled the hoodie from your death grip and helped you put it on, breaking your sight with him for a second. You looked to her, then the hat still sitting in your lap, and then you focused back on Jeremy's face.

"Do you want me to leave you?" Jack asked, running her hand comfortingly through your wet hair.

Before you could answer, Geoff entered with a pile of Jeremy's clothes in his arms. His eye flicked over all of you before settling on Jeremy, much like yours. He frowned before moving into the room completely, shutting the door behind him and placing the clothes on a table nearby. Geoff walked to the other side of the bed where he hesitated a moment. His gazed move to you and he seemed to be conflicted with what he wants to say to you.

"They said the operation to remove the bullet went smoothly," so he spoke more with the nurses and doctors, that's what delayed him, "Minor internal damage which will heal with time, so long as he takes it easy. He lost a lot of blood," Geoff's gaze shifted to the IV lines connected to Jeremy's arms, "so they're giving him some of that and morphine and saline. They said he may not wake until tomorrow."

You nodded your acknowledgement, not trusting your voice once again. You wanted to touch him, but he looked like he might shatter if you did. You didn't think he could ever look so pale. Or so fragile.

"They brought in a cot if you feel like sleeping." Geoff gestured to the collapsed bed on wheels behind him. You don't think you'll be sleeping tonight.

"We'll leave you two be," Jack said from behind you with a pointed look at Geoff which you missed, "Unless there's something else you need?"

You shook your head and opened your mouth to thank them, but you couldn't get the words out. Geoff just smiled at you, "It's okay, sweet heart. We know."

"Call us if you need anything." Jack said with one last look at Jeremy before both she and Geoff left you to the quiet room.

You sat and stared at Jeremy. Watching his chest as he breathed. You almost lost him. The sight of him falling on the pavement flashed before your eyes, taking the bullet that was meant for you without a second thought. The tears that you thought were gone began to fall again. You began to sob quietly into his bedside, a hand shakily reaching for his face down hand. It was cold, you noted with a sniffle. Your hand curled tightly around his bigger one, pulling it closer to you so that you could press your forehead against it.

You sat there, hand in his and head laid on his bed, Jeremy's hat squished to your chest by your other hand, for so long you fell asleep. Not even the nurses coming a going to check on Jeremy woke you. What did eventually wake you was pressure on your head. You felt a hand run through your hair. You blinked sleep from your eyes and slowly sat up to hear a gravelly "Good morning" from above you. Your eyes snapped up to meet Jeremy's warm, brown ones.

"Jeremy," you said with a gasp.

"That's me," he said with a smile, "Hi, Y/N."

After a moment of shocked silence, your felt the anger, the sadness, the grief, and the confusion from yesterday come to a front. The anger was the loudest. "What the fuck, Jeremy?"

"What?" Jeremy asked as if he had no idea what you were talking about, the ass.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about! What were you thinking?" You ground your teeth together.

"I was thinking I saved your life."

"And yours? You almost-, I thought you-" You couldn't even bring yourself to finish those sentences. You felt tears prick at your eyes again. You were tired of crying.

"I wasn't thinking-"

You cut him off, "Obviously."

He had the audacity to shoot a glare at you, "Don't look at me like that. You don’t get to be pissed at me. Not after what I went through these past twenty-four hours."

"I just-. Y/N, I wasn't thinking about what happened to me," You crossed your arms and sat back in your chair, "I was thinking about you."

"So? If you," you closed your eyes for a moment and took a breath, "If you died, what was I supposed to do?"

"And if you died? Y/N, I was presented with a choice, you or me. I chose you. That's all." Jeremy tried to sit up a bit, but a groan of pain stopped him in is tracks.

You shot forward and put a hand on his chest, "Careful! You were shot, remember? You need to take it easy!" You gently pushed him down back on the bed.

Jeremy let you push him back and once he was settled, he reached up with a hand pushed your hair back behind your ears and looked you in the eyes, "If my legacy is to throw myself in the path of a bullet to save your life, then so be it."

You reached up to cup his hand to your face and shook your head, tears in your eyes, "No, we go down together. You understand?"

Jeremy laughed at that, "Fair enough." He smiled at you, love in his eyes. "Com'ere."

With the hand on the side of your face, he brought your head to his, your lips met in a chaste kiss. You tried to convey all the pain and relief you were feeling into that kiss while Jeremy responded to you with an apology. When you both broke the kiss, you pressed your foreheads together and just breathed.

You heard gagging sounds come from your right and you both turned to the door to see the rest of the Fake AH Crew stood in the doorway. The gagging sounds had come from Gavin and Michael judging by their matching grins, Lindsay giggling along. Jack had warm smile on her face and Geoff was busy trying to hold in his laugh from the lad’s antics. Ryan even had a soft and amused look in his steel eyes, the ghost of a smile on his lips.

"So, how's the moron who got himself shot?" Geoff asked after he rained his laughter, only to burst out laughing along with everyone else and the crowd in the door made their way into the room.

Tears fell from your eyes, this time from happiness as you looked upon your family in fondness. There really isn't a dull moment in the Fake AH Crew.

(Anyone who says otherwise can kiss ALL your asses.)

[ineffable-writings]

Wanna Bet?

HAPPY HALLOWEEN

Word Count: 2424

Genre: Angst, Fluff, Zombie Au

- Admin Spring

Your feet ached as you trudged down the path with the heavy luggage. You were standing near the middle of the group. Your team had been walking for almost two days straight and you thought every step could possibly be the last.

You had spent yesterday complaining all day off and on, but today you were too tired to do even that. Hyunggu tried nudging you to cheer you up, giving you a reassuring smile.

You and your group hadn’t had a break since your last camp had been overrun by zombies. You were all exhausted and half of them almost insane, the rest too drained to have any emotion, you a part of that half.

You were pretty sure Yanan and Jinho were crying together behind you. Yuto carrying a lot of the bags and you had been avoiding eye contact with him. He scared you with his emotionless gaze and dark circles.

Hwitaek was leading at the front with his hand on the holster of his gun in case of a surprise zombie. Hyojong had one hand holding the onto a strap from Hwitaek’s backpack. Hongseok and Changgu were walking together in silence.

Shinwon was walking along the far side of the road and had been talking to himself for the past half hour. Wooseok was walking closest to Shinwon a little worried that he would get too far from the group.

“Hwitaek, we should stop soon for the night…if we keep running on this low energy we may end up dying sooner than we expected.” Wooseok said a little concerned still for Shinwon.

“I know, but there hasn’t been any safe places to stop.” Hyojong sighs.

“Please, just somewhere!” Jinho cried from the back.

“We can just take shifts for sleeping, it’ll be fine” Hyunggu chimes in and you nod.

“Okkk,” he sighs while the rest of them cheer, “I mean I wanna stop just as much as you guys, I’m just worri-”

“Awww you care so much for usss” Changgu says being a flirt as always which you rolled your eyes at.

Y'all pulled off the road into the treeline a little ways into set up a mini camp for the night.

“Ok, let’s split up so we can set up as quick as possible” Hongseok suggests.

“We should have some people sleeping while others do work.” Wooseok adds, “Shinwon really has got to, he’s not ok.” Hyojong says quietly to Hwitaek.

“Ok, Shinwon, Jinho, Yuto and Yanan y'all need sleep.” None of them protest as they lay down altogether on the cloth blankets packed in one of Yuto’s bags.

“I can go get firewood, it’ll be dark soon, we will need it!” you say.

“Take Changgu with you, you can’t carry all that by yourself.”

You glance over at him who had taken a seat on a fallen tree trunk. He sighs before pulling himself up back on his feet. You also roll your eyes to yourself.

“Ok, I’ll help out!” he says shooting you a charming style.

I don’t even need his help…

You both walk into the forest and you walk a little faster than him. You pick up sticks quietly while he keeps getting further behind. He jogs up a little to be at your side.

“Hey what’s wrong? You keep leaving me behind?”

You mumble an apology and try to slow your pace. You would never admit to even yourself how conflicted he made you feel. It bugged you how flirty he was, probably because you were jealous…

Shut up

You think to yourself.

“what?” he asks you and you realize you had said that last part out loud, your felt your cheeks heat.

“Uh nothing, I was talking to myself.” you say picking up another stick and then stop dead in your tracks seeing the sight in front of you. Changgu stops too, confused.

“What?” he asks again, he looks to where you’re staring and freezes also.

Probably about fifteen or more zombies stand in front of you all crowded. He takes a few small steps back, but you stay in your spot. They all start lifting their faces, you assume smelling your scents in the air. They look over at you with callused eyes.

They had caught you now.

There was no way you could fight them all off. Thinking the only way out is to make a break for it you quickly without thinking chuck the sticks in your hand at the zombies. You spin back and start running the other way and in the process grab Changgu’s wrist to inform him of the unsaid plan.

You noticed he had dropped his sticks too and was sprinting next to you. Since it was a rushed plan, you hadn’t thought through it in the long run. As you had been running, and causing more commotion, stray zombies had collected into the cluster.

“C-” you started having trouble breathing and running and speaking all at once, “Changgu…we can't…go back…” Hoping he would understand what you meant with the short sentence.

“C’mon, let’s lead them off…we can find the others later.” he said understanding what you’d said, and had said it much clearer. You both made a sharp turn not stopping for a breath. You had gotten back onto the streets when you see a bunch of cars all over.

“I’m sure one of those are unlocked, if we cut off our scent, they won’t be able to find us.”

You run up to the cars and split to check them all individually. Your heart pounded in your chest as you frantically pulled on the handles of each door, checking over your shoulder at the herd getting closer and closer.

CLICK

“OH MY GAH CHANGGU CHANGGU IT OPENED”

“WHAT YOU GOT IT?” you don’t see him but you can hear him yell out over the cars. Suddenly he comes into view and runs quickly over to you.

“GET INNN” he says as y'all both notice the dead getting closer, he puhes you in first as you attempt to climb over the middle console as quick as possible.

Once inside you were backed up to the window of the passenger side and he had pulled himself into the driver’s seat.

You sat there with him in silence other than both your heavy breathing. Until you suddenly jumped when one of the zombies had thumped against the window you were leaning on. You didn’t notice how close you had gotten to Changgu, but you felt a hand grab onto yours.

“Here, I’ll hold your hand until it’s over…”

He could probably feel, and see, how much you were shaking right now and you felt comforted knowing he was there for you. You did feel a little more calm after that.

Y'all sat together watching them walk past your car. Somehow you had gotten into small talk and it was nice getting to hang out with him one on one. It surprisingly never crossed your mind that it was awkward keeping your hands interlocked because it somehow felt natural. You would even feel him squeeze your hand when you had been flinching because of the zombies.

“No no, there’s no way!!!” he laughs.

“I swear! We weren’t even high and this happened!” He shook his head at you still laughing. You had started laughing with what you thought was such an obnoxious laugh. You had voiced this opinion as you covered your mouth.

“No, I think it’s cute,” he says as his flirty self leans over to pinch your cheek.

You brush away his hand giggling with your newly red cheeks, not because of the pinch, but because the boy. You continued talking for awhile as the herd finally passed a while back, but y'all hadn’t noticed since you were caught up with each other.

“Hey! We can leave now,” he says, “They are gone.”

You look around at the windows noticing he was right and they had all left.

“Thank God, ok we gotta get back to camp before the others start worrying too much!”

You both got out and met up at the trunk of the car together. You started back towards the campsite, it wasn’t far that y'all had ran from there luckily. Just as you were about to take a step you felt a hand grab your ankle coupled with a growl.

“OH MY FUCK!! CHANGGU HELP,” you cried out to him who was ahead of you. He pivoted on his heel back to you and ran over. He pulled out his knife and stabbed the legless, crawling zombie.

You felt the grip loosen on your leg as you thoughtlessly fall into Changgu’s arms. Your sweaty hands gripped onto his shirt and your teary eyes soak into it too.

“Goodness, I bet you couldn’t survive a day without me.” he says cockily, but it contrasted with how sweetly he pet your head to his chest. Once the words registered in your head, you pulled back.

“What in the hell?? I can totally survive without you ugH, you are really too much.”

“Listen, let’s really bet, if you lose you let me kiss you.”

Your mouth dropped. Was this the same guy ohmy-

“No no I can. You’re wrong and I. Will. Prove it.” you said punctuating each word with a jab to his chest.

—

Once you finally arrived Hyunggu stood up with a surprised, but glad expression. It notified Hwitaek and he ran up to you both hugging you around your necks tight. he had to get on his tiptoes to even reach the both of you.

“God, I was so scared that y'all were dead.” he says quietly before pulling back. You explain the whole story to your group, leaving out the cute stuff that was unimportant to them.

“I don’t think this is good…we aren’t safe stopping anywhere!!” the newly revived but paranoid Shinwon speaks up.

“We need a new home. I think it’d be best if we split up, just in half at least, we can cover more ground!” Yuto says. You bite your lip at the thought of separating. Wondering if it was really a good idea, but you stay quiet.

“I think it’d be best, guys…” Yanan says.

—

Your group decides to stay there for the night anyways. So that the others who hadn’t slept could sleep.

You wake up to see you are the last one up and everyone had already started packing.

“Hey Y/N, we decided the groups while you were sleeping.” Jinho informs you, “Me, you, Yanan, Hyunggu and Yuto are going east and Hongseok, Shinwon, Changgu, Hwitaek, Hyojong and Wooseok are west.”

Your heart dropped a little at the fact that Changgu wasn’t in the group with you, but you didn’t argue. You helped packing the last couple of supplies up and separating them as evenly as possible so both teams could have a fair amount.

You all headed up to the road and said your goodbyes to the opposite group before turning away to the sides you’d been assigned. You looked up shyly and Changgu hoping he could somehow understand your feelings through your look. His own look back was a sad one.

You stayed at the back of the group and just before reaching the edge of the road, you heard your name being called. You spun to meet the familiar voice calling you.

“I just came to say goodbye,” he says quietly. “Come back safe.” You now realize he has your hands in his. You look up at him with a sad smile and put your arms around his chest to give him a tight hug. You felt him return it and a soft kiss was planted on your head.

How did so much change in a day?

—

Your group had been walking for days it seemed and you were starting to get hopeless again. You were constantly worried too about if the other group, especially Changgu was ok. It didn’t help with your stress.

You were broken out of your thoughts by a scream. You looked up to see Hyunggu being backed up to a tree while he tried to hold the zombie as far away as possible. Jinho luckily took care of it quick, but it didn’t matter because they soon realized the screams had caused the wandering zombies to near them.

They all panicked noticing that even amidst the forest, you could be corralled in. All five of you whipped out your weapons preparing yourselves to fight.

As each of you handled your own battle, you didn’t notice the zombie that had been sneaking up behind you. Suddenly you felt a hand pulling your whole ponytail back and you shrieked.

Your eyes shut tight as you prepared for the worst. Maybe this was the end you thought. You were wrong. Suddenly you heard a bunch of new yelling and felt the hand let go. You opened your eyes to see that the other half of the team was there.

“Changgu,” you cry out seeing him standing behind you, assuming he was the one who had saved you due to the dead(dead?) zombie on the ground. You looked around noticing everyone was okay and you ran over to hug Changgu first. You smiled into his chest, ecstatic to see him and the others too all there and ok! After a chorus of thank you’s and cheers, they explained.

“We finally found some place safe!! There was a place a couple miles down, it’s a whole community and they have barricades and supplies and everything!!” Wooseok told them excitedly.

This led to more cheers as they all started basically sprinting at first, glad to have somewhere they could feel safe again finally.

—

They had finally arrived, luckily in one day due to their enthusiastic running. Once you had all settled you saw Changgu hanging around by the fence and you went to go meet him. As you got closer you noticed he had a smirk on his face.

“Whatttt?” he said nervously laughing, “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“I just remembered something.”

“Okkkk”

“I bet you and you lost so now you have to let me kiss you.”

You smirked and shook your head at him.

“WHAT? But we bet??? You can’t do that!”

“I won’t let you kiss me,” you said and he opened his mouth to argue before you put your finger up to his mouth to silence him, “But I will kiss you.”

You grabbed him by his collar and brought your lips to meet his.

[that-girl-in-the-shadows]

Princess Diarist

Okay...

*sighs deeply*

Here we go.

To start, I just want to say that reading this took a lot from me. It was like getting rid of the thorn in my side and replacing it with a stake. 

Not just because of Carrie Fisher. Okay...maybe it was because of that, but it was more, intense than I thought it would be. So emotionally draining. I read this after I read “Talking As Fast As I Can” and that wasn’t as emotionally frustrating as this. Sure, it had its times, from “A Year in the Life” to lost jackets (still crying over that). 

But this...oh, my. It was heart wrenching. It was like being stabbed in the heart every other sentence. 

The reason I took so long in finishing it was primarily because I just needed to put down the book because it was getting too depressing. And I have a high tolerance for that kind of stuff! 

It wasn’t just in Carrison part either. It was in the entire book. This felt so...final. It was like she was pouring herself one last time and it was. 

I stalled in reading this book because I knew that it would be hard. And combine that with the things she wrote, then you have me, lying in bed and sobbing into my pillow.

This was so very raw and palpable. I could feel the subtle complexities of her emotions. Her uncertainties, insecurities and all of the things in between.

My heart was literally breaking for her.

That was just in the beginning. As the chapters went on it became more...grizzly. Then came the Carrison chapter.

Oh, my. I could not stop myself from sobbing. From sighing deeply and basically doing all the things I do when I read something so beautiful but tragic. And man, I’m still crying.

She loved him so much. This book was overwhelming. Especially that part. She was so in love with him. You could feel it through her words. You could feel that she was desperately giving everything so that he could love her back. She had fallen for him and...he hadn’t.

The entire time I was reading this there were two things in my head.

One: Harrison Ford may not have replied to her because he didn’t know. Sometimes people just don’t know how deep we really are. And she was in deep. Drowning in him. 40 years, she was in love with him. 

The things she wrote took my breath away. It was like being waterboarded. That was me. And I wasn’t even in the relationship. I didn’t even know them personally. I wasn’t there. He was. If that’s how I felt when I read it, I can’t even imagine how it must have felt for him.

I mean, man. It was so tragic. Especially since...this is her last book. One of the last things she ever wrote was their tragic love story. How she was so in love with him that it scared her. How she was still in love with him. How she would never really fall out of love.

I cannot even begin to realize what that was to him. Especially if they didn’t speak before...she died. How it must hurt. I can understand how that can make someone off-balanced. 

*sighs*

Two: Carrie Fisher is...was one of the strongest people I’ve ever known. Yes, I knew this beforehand, but it still marvels me just how strong she was.

This book is so personal. It’s her. Gritty and real. I’ve written a lot of personal stuff but I would never actually publish them as me. Anonymously maybe, but never as me.

The idea of people knowing something that personal, it terrifies me. I have issues that way. I can never really reveal anything personal to anyone. It’s just something that I can’t do. But that’s what she did.

Her poems, her stories. It was...her. And it was painful and tragic. Sure, she tried to put some comedy but ultimately this book was the real her. 

Carrie Fisher. Princess Leia. How those two can never be separate but never the same either. She was stuck in an eternal tug-of-war and it was heartbreaking to read it.

I can never understand her strength. Or her. I just thank her for allowing us to see her. Even just a little bit.

This book was not just Carrison. Although that may be a factor of it. It was Carrie Fisher. Her life. Her emotions. Everything.

As emotionally heavy this book was...it was beautiful. She’s a magnificent writer and it seems that she becomes different and freer when she writes. However, her wit and comedy still are very present.

Would I read this book again? I honestly don’t know. This book is beautiful but...it’s too emotionally draining. I don’t think I have it in me to go for a second round.

But this is one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever read. Now every time someone asks me for a book recommendation it will be “The Giver” and “The Princess Diarist”. 

This book is tragic, heartbreaking, but beautiful and the perfect way to say goodbye to the late but awesomely great, Carrie Fisher.

*chokes up and becomes teary eyed*

*looks up*

Thank you.