#the employee thing is obviously an entirely different matter)

[two-white-butterflies]

sucked into a bagel

Description: A corporate attorney's life is forever changed by a chance encounter with an actress, who happens to be a former classmate. A mismatched bagel order leads to romance.

Pairing: harvey specter/actress!reader (mentioned!carlos sainz)

A/N: writing style is a bit experimental. reader has a screen name because i hate using y/n l/n. suits but in 2024 because i do not want to adjust to the past.

THERESÈ MARQUINA IS BACK – IS SHE OVER THE BREAKUP?

Theresè Marquina was in a 3-year relationship with Spanish F1 Racer, Carlos Sainz, before they separated July this year. Their breakup was followed by an announced hiatus by the actress. Now, she's making her way out of the woodworks.

Has she finally moved on?

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CLICK HERE FOR MORE ARTICLES RELATED TO 'THERESÈ'

WHO IS CARLOS SAINZ?

THERESÈ MARQUINA AND CARLOS SAINZ IN GOOD TERMS AFTER THE BREAKUP

WHO IS REBECCA DONALDSON?

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New York has always been close to your heart; the uninviting atmosphere, the people that walked past and refused to look back. A hoodie and some sunglasses were the only things needed to remain unknown. "One bagel cream cheese filling, please." You smiled.

This was your favorite bagel place, the cart always found itself standing in front of a corporate building – how wonderful it must be for these employees to eat yummy bagels after a long day of work. "You want any juice with that?" Nathan asks while jotting down your order. "Are you serious?" You scoff and he responds with a chuckle.

"Wait on the side," he says methodically.

You placed your hands in of your pockets, warming your palms against the coldness that surrounded you. After spending the majority of your developmental years in tropical countries, your body has refused to acclimate to the american weather.

Thus, leading to this feeling of coldness.

I hope that Nathan makes my order faster, you thought, not willing to wait another minute outside.

"The regular," a male voice says. You lift your gaze, locking eyes with the man standing in front of you. He has beautiful blonde hair (a weird hairstyle), a manly physique - and he was obviously sharper than the younger chaps standing around you. He was wearing a custom-made suit - silk blend...and he was staring at you.

You looked away.

I hope he didn't recognize me. Of course he wouldn't. I've got to stop being such a narc, you fought with your inner demons.

He was standing beside you at this point. You turned to look at him again, and fuck. He was still staring at you. "Is there something on my face?" Your eyebrows merged together. He shakes his head.

"Y/N L/N." He says your real name.

The way that he uttered your name, the intonation of his voice... "Harvey Specter." You answered with a smile on your face. An old friend – although, you couldn't quite call him a friend. He was someone that you relied on back during your days in Harvard, but then again, you only spent a year in that university. "I can't believe that you already forgot about me," Harvey cracks a smile.

"No, I didn't forget about you. You just look different." Your eyes narrowed. You've never seen him wear this sharp of a suit before. On his first day on campus, he wore this outrageous suit with a skinny tie, and you proceeded to call him 'skinny tie' the entire year. "And you haven't aged a day," he flirts – his charisma untested by time.

"Some things never change, eh." Your smile deepens. "- matter of fact, I thought that you were the one who forgot about me. You didn't return any of my letters, and you didn't accept my myspace request." You confronted him, a bit of your heart wondering why he didn't reach out.

"I've been busy," he informs. "- remember Jessica? I'm working for her now, Junior Partner, Pearson Hardman." He says.

Being a lawyer was the only thing that he wanted in this life. Harvey liked the smell of blood in the water. It made you happy to see him where he wanted to be. "Congratulations. That sounds amazing Harvs!" You placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Bagel for Teresa!" Nathan says your name wrong again. "I'll see you in another day. By the way! This is my phone number, call me." You winked while walking up to the counter to retrieve your order.

He waves goodbye at you, while pocketing the call card.

Harvey holds the warm bagel in his left hand, while playing with the call card on his left.

THERESÈ MARQUINA +XXXXXXXXXX William Morris Entertainment

He remembers the first day that he met you. Both of you were running late for Professor Gerard's class, no doubt, sweating balls; because the professor's name has only been uttered around campus in hushed whispers. He was renowned for not giving A's, and being cruel when it came to his grading system.

He was someone that you couldn't risk offend. He was quite particular about tardiness. You smiled at him, walked hand-in-hand through those intimidating doors - swallowed the sermon beside him, and he found himself having a slight crush on you.

It was rare to see a beautiful, kind, and smart person. God normally grants a person one of those three things, but seldom all. You gave him all of your notes, helped him through torts and explaining all the labor laws in New York. Just when he was about to confess his feelings, you suddenly told him that you were shifting to another school. Juilliard to Major in Fine Arts.

You were moving to New York. He was in Cambridge. It wasn't going to work so he held his tongue. He let you slip away, and after graduation he figured that what he felt for you was nothing but the caprice of his youth. He's all but forgotten about you, until today.

"When are you going to eat that bagel, Harvey?" He hears Donna's voice through the small intercom. "Have long have you been watching me?" He asks a question. He sees Donna roll her eyes through the glass window. "Give her a call. I'm sure she'll pick up." Donna makes another smart guess.

Donna knows everything.

"Do you even know who she is?" Harvey raises an eyebrow. If Donna finds out, then she'll totally freak out. After all, she was the one that told him to watch Pretty Woman.

"Boy loves girl. Girl gives boy her number. What more should I know?" Donna shrugs. "If you say so..." Harvey switches off the intercom.

You slowly unraveled the foil away from your bagel. "Finally," you breathed while taking a long awaited bite. "What the fuck," you groaned realizing that there was no filling inside your bagel. It's basically a bread at this point! Why eat a bagel if it's going to taste like absolute nothing.

"Fuck, maybe Harvey got my order." You placed the bagel down. Slowly, reaching for your phone inside your left pocket. "Damn, I should have asked for his number." You tell yourself.

Suddenly, your phone starts ringing. It was an unknown number.

"Hello, this better be Harvey." You pick up.

He responds with an amused chuckle.

"Nope, I found this number on a bathroom wall." He teased. "Ha ha, very funny." You scoffed. Your eyes suddenly landing on that boring excuse of a bagel with no fillings. "- have you eaten your bagel yet?" You asked. Was it too late for a switch? Yes, I've already taken a bite.

"Nope, I'm about to." He says.

"I think we messed up our orders. I got this boring excuse of a bagel with no fillings." You played with the sesame seeds on top of the bread. "Oh are you insulting my order?" He raised an eyebrow. "Yes, there's no cream cheese or peanut butter or banana in here. Respectfully, this is worst than wheat bread." You groaned.

"I'm sorry that my order is ... vanilla. Not everyone is like you." He jested in return, earning a slight giggle from you.

"Why did you call, by the way?" You inquired.

"I was wondering if you wanted to go and eat dinner with me. We have a lot of catching up to do, only if a few hours is enough to cover all that's happened in ten years?" His eyebrows merged together. He was beginning to sound like Harvey from before - the one that strived to be the best version of himself, before the reality of this world was made evidently clear.

"If it's not enough, we can always schedule a part two." You hummed.

"Where will we meet?" You asked, looking at your empty schedule.

"Send me your address, and I'll send my driver."

"I'll send my driver, okay fancy pants."

You take a deep breath, staring at your reflection through the mirror.

Is it a date?

"Fuck," you cursed while combing through your hair.

Harvey is just a friend. An old friend rediscovered in a world filled of people who wanted to use you for their own benefit. In a fast paced world, it is easy to let go of relationships – to be numb when it comes to abandonment because everyone always moves forward, or back.

You slip on the Alaïa dress that you bought years prior. Harvey didn't specify if the restaurant that you were going to was casual or formal, therefore you chose a dress that was carefully sitting in the middle. If it was a casual affair then you'd slip in a black YSL jacket. If it was formal then you'd put on the earrings that were carefully hiding in your bag's pockets.

You could only hope that the paparazzi wouldn't be snapping pics.

"Thank you for inviting me to dinner." You pressed a kiss to his cheek, inhaling his scent of expensive cologne. "- it's been a tough year," you added while settling on the couch in front of him.

Everyone was dressed to the nines; and it seemed to you that Harvey was permanently attached to his suits. "I've not been updated. I'm sorry." He handed you the special menu while taking sip of wine. "- but I did watch that film of yours. My secretary recommended it." He informed with a smile on his face.

"Which one? Don't tell me it was First Daughter." Your eyebrows merged together. That movie was particularly difficult to film. "No, it as Pretty Woman. I might say, Richard Gere is a fine man." His eyes narrowed and a small laugh escapes your mouth.

You continued talking after that - the waiter delivered your meals. You both had pasta. A dish that you bonded with Harvey in the first year. He has never been blessed with skill in cooking, so you always popped up in his condo (that Jessica paid for) to make meals.

As the laughter died down, you took a deep breath.

"For what it's worth. I made the right choice choosing Juilliard, but gods did I miss our friendship." You confessed. "- it wasn't the same. I did make some friends but we were all in over our head trying to impress the next producer, the next director, the next casting agent. It was physically exhausting that I began to miss the mental exhaustion of studying law." You chuckled, taking a bite of your pasta.

"You never did tell me the reason why you left - or why you chose to be an actress instead of being a lawyer." Harvey says.

"I told you that it was my dream to become a lawyer, but along the lines I realized that it wasn't really what I wanted. I was just doing what my parents were telling me to do." You paused.

"How did you tell your father that?" He chuckles, aware of your father's strict demeanor. "I told him that it didn't matter if I was going to live in a smaller house, with a smaller car, and a simpler life. I wanted to do something that made me happy. It didn't matter if I had to scrape my knees trying to make it movie to movie. I just wanted to be able to film." You continued.

"- thanks to my parents support, I'm fucking famous." You added.

Harvey's eyes drift to the figure behind you.

You turned to look, and it was a man with his phone out. Recording. "Oh, it happens." Your face suddenly turns stoic. Aware that someone was watching - and that you needed to act appropriately. "I can't believe this shit is legal in our country," Harvey rolls his eyes.

"Sometimes, I just want to go and break their phones." You whispered.

"Destruction of Property." Harvey smirks. "- I'd like to add assault to that list." He says, standing up and walking towards the man.

"I've done that before, actually." You smile.

"Wanna do it again?" He offered.

theresèmarquina: Thank you for the wonderful dinner & for getting that man to delete his 'paparazzi' pictures of me. I didn't look good in that angle. You are 100% NYC's best closer @harveyspecterlaw

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DonnaPaulsen: @harveyspecterlaw

Donna places the stack of files on Harvey's desk loudly. He raises an eyebrow, noticing her annoyed demeanor. "I found out through social media. I can't believe that you didn't tell me!" Donna raises her voice. It was the first time in a very long time that Donna lost her cool.

"You didn't ask," Harvey shrugs, signing a few contracts.

"Theresè Marquina is literally every woman's favorite actress. Pretty Woman, First Daughter, Noting Hill! She's literally who I want to be when I grow up." Donna paced back and forth.

How was it possible that this flew under her radar? She was Donna for god's sake. She knows everything. "I didn't think that it was that serious." Harvey pretended to be unbothered. "How did you even manage to date her?" Donna suddenly asks.

Harvey's face relaxes, then tenses up.

"I'm not dating her." Harvey groaned. "Why the hell are you not?" Donna looked behooved. "- because we are just friends, Donna." Harvey cleared up, while placing some of the files inside the drawers.

"Wait a minute," Donna takes a deep breath. Everything was starting to make sense. "She's the girl from Harvard." She accuses. Harvey frowns. "How the hell do you know about that?" He queries.

"When we were still working in the DA. I got you drunk - and you couldn't stop talking about this girl who left you in Harvard. You kept rambling on and on about how you were in love with her." Donna remembers. Of course, she remembers everything.

"Donna, get the hell out of my office." Harvey groans.

"I'm not telling you to go out there and tell her that you love her, or loved her. I just want to say that yesterday, while you were talking to her - I saw the real Harvey." She informs, walking out of his office before he can say another thing about her getting out.

PART TWO TO BE POSTED.

FOLLOW ME AND TURN YOUR NOTIFS ON BECAUSE I'M TOO BUSY IN SCHOOL TO HAVE A TAGLIST :((

[zaebeecee]

Helluva Boss Full Moon Episode Analysis 🌕 ✨

My very long and detailed personal analysis of the scene we were all waiting for below the cut. Spoilers, obviously, so don’t click if you don’t wanna see that. Also, this is just my own opinion, it’s cool if you don’t agree.

Also, I took all these screenshots on my phone because it’s all I have, so I apologize for the constant presence of the “hey you wanna change apps now or something” bar at the bottom of the screen.

tl;dr: Both Stolas and Blitzø are at fault here, and that’s the point of the episode.

So, I’m gonna start right after Stolas requests his book back and informs Blitzø that he needs it permanently.

Blitzø argues that he needs the book for his job. And that’s true, Moxxie already spelled that out earlier in the episode. But we have seen Blitzø trying to persuade Stolas before, and this is not how he does it. Whenever he persuades Stolas for something that is based in purely selfish reasons, he leans on his sexuality and on Stolas’ desire, not on straight up begging. All day, he has been plagued by Loona’s words that Stolas has been getting bored of him, and the fact that the first thing Stolas does is request his grimoire back is proof that she was right.

But Blitzø, being Blitzø, can’t just say that he’s scared Stolas has gotten bored of him, so he goes back to the thing Stolas already knows: he needs the book for his job.

Stolas, of course, was anticipating this. That’s why he has the Asmodean crystal prepared and within reach to give to Blitzø in exchange, probably to assuage his fears about the future of his company. He genuinely cares about Blitzø’s passions, and because of that, he is genuinely invested in his work and wants to do whatever he can to help him. Additionally, not only will the crystal end the transactional nature of their relationship, it will free Blitzø—and his employees—of the burden of being held accountable for law breaking.

Blitzø, on the other hand, wasn’t expecting anything like this. He has known from day one that if Stolas ever takes his book back, that’s the end of I.M.P. For Stolas to then turn around and tell him that he got a crystal for him (and advocated to Asmodeus on Blitzø’s behalf, no less) is something he probably never imagined would happen, much less anticipated.

For Stolas, a member of demonic royalty and of a privileged class of demon, this isn’t that big of a gesture. It’s big, of course—Stolas isn’t stupid, he knows how difficult it is for a non-Lust demon to acquire one of these crystals and is aware that his connections are the reason he was able to do this at all—but to him, it’s something of a no-brainer.

Stolas could not imagine a reality where he denied Blitzø anything, at least not right now. So, in his desire to end the transaction, it’s only natural to him that he would find another way for Blitzø to do his job, one where he doesn’t have to rely on anyone but himself. And in a rational situation, Stolas would be entirely right.

But this isn’t a rational situation. Blitzø doesn’t hear that he’s not beholden to anyone anymore, what he hears is that his excuse to see Stolas and pretend that it isn’t emotional has been taken away from him. That’s why he says they can just keep doing things the old way: he’s so emotionally constipated that if he loses the book, he either has to confront his feelings for Stolas or never see him again. And it might not matter anyway, because if Blitzø believes that Stolas only wants sex and has grown bored of him, this is simply a very expensive way to say “I don’t need you anymore”.

I think Stolas placing the stone on Blitzø’s bracer is a very important detail for the way things go in both of their minds, and it is very different:

For Stolas, he has proven to Blitzø that he is serious in his offer, and that this crystal belongs to him. He knows Blitzø is suspicious and untrusting, and by fastening it to him in a way that means Stolas himself cannot take it back, it shows Blitzø that Stolas truly means what he’s saying. It’s a display of selfless sincerity, and of trust, because if Blitzø took off that moment, there would be nothing Stolas could really do about it.

However, for Blitzø, Stolas has just taken away his autonomy and made the decision for him. Before he even had a chance to parse his thoughts on what’s happening, Stolas places the crystal on him, even though the only answer he has given is a fairly explicit “but I don’t want this”.

When Stolas tells Blitzø that he doesn’t have to stay, but that Stolas wants him to, he is showing an emotionally vulnerable side of himself that he only ever lets Octavia see. He is bearing his soul to Blitzø, because he wants to make it perfectly clear what he wants. And it’s so very important to emphasize that Stolas is very clear and direct in what he wants, because he doesn’t want to accidentally give Blitzø the wrong impression. He’s put a lot of thought into this, primarily because he’s been obsessing over what he was going to say ever since he went to ask Asmodeus for the crystal in the first place.

However, it’s also important to remember that Stolas is the one who prepared himself for this conversation. Of course he has a beautiful speech prepared and has reasoned out his arguments and knows exactly what he plans to do.

Blitzø is not prepared for this, however. Blitzø, who has convinced himself that a prince could never actually want an imp (especially one like him), who has spent all day telling himself that he isn’t feeling emotional over this and running all over town to acquire as much as possible because he’s afraid Stolas is getting bored, is completely blindsided by the sudden deluge of real emotion that’s pouring out of Stolas. Blitzø is already exceedingly bad with words, and because of his self-hate, he leans on the idea that it’s a kinky roleplay because that’s so much easier for him to believe.

Stolas, of course, has no reason to know any of this. To his eye, he just presented his heart to Blitzø on a platter, and Blitzø immediately turned flippant and dismissive, an obvious rejection of what he just metaphorically gutted himself over. To him, Blitzø has just affirmed that he doesn’t take this seriously, isn’t anywhere near as invested in it as Stolas is himself, and doesn’t actually want him.

To Stolas, this is the end of the conversation. He ended the transaction, he asked Blitzø for a real relationship, and Blitzø said no. With nothing else to discuss, Stolas leaves the room, probably assuming Blitzø will leave the way he came in. I would imagine that, after living with Stella for so long, the best way to deal with an awkward situation has always been to remove himself from that situation entirely. For him, this is a kindness, because otherwise the room is about to get very uncomfortable.

To Blitzø, this is a dismissal that Stolas would give to a servant or someone else he deems as lesser. He even asks if Stolas was serious in a disbelieving manner, because the idea of everything Stolas said being genuine is too alien for him. When he runs after Stolas, he clearly still doesn’t even know what he’s going to say, because things are moving too fast for him to process.

Stolas is, in my opinion, completely justified in his feelings. He’s hurt, because he’s cared so much for Blitzø for so long, and he tells him as much because Stolas is still trying to be fully upfront and honest. He believes he received Blitzø’s answer, as well as confirmation that everything has always been about sex.

I think it’s this, in particular, that sets Blitzø off. The transactional relationship was Stolas’s idea. Stolas spent every moment they were together, especially early S1, doing nothing but hitting on Blitzø. He even tells Stolas, in his mind, that he knows he only wants sex after the disaster at Ozzie’s, which was also the last time they talked in person. Blitzø is hearing his own words being used against him, realizing how much it hurts, and lashing out because anger is how he responds to strong emotion. (This is a bad thing, by the way. I’m not condoning it, just making an observation.)

Because he’s lashing out, Blitzø proceeds to verbally dump on Stolas, but he says something very important: he tells Stolas he needs a minute to think.

Blitzø was, again, blindsided by this conversation. He was then put on the spot and made to give an answer immediately, and when he wasn’t able to provide an in-depth, soul-searching, thoroughly considered answer off the cuff, he lost any opportunity to even attempt to recover the situation. And in my opinion, this is the most unfair thing Stolas does this entire scene. He seems to have completely forgotten that Blitzø isn’t prepared, and expects him to be as ready for this as he is himself.

When Blitzø tears into Stolas about his station, and about how the rich treat people like him, it’s clearly something he’s been wanting to say for quite some time. But he’s emotional, he’s not thinking straight, and he says things far harsher than he means to (which I’ll expound on in a moment). One of Blitzø’s flaws is saying things without thinking them through, and it definitely fucks him over right here.

Blitzø has no way of knowing that what he just said to Stolas is almost identical to what Striker said when he kidnapped and almost killed Stolas. But it is: both of them directly state that Stolas uses people beneath him because he can. Just like Blitzø didn’t hear Stolas’s sincerity, Stolas isn’t hearing Blitzø’s turmoil. Instead, he hears that the man he loves has the same opinion of him as someone who tried to kill him multiple times. That has to be a heartbreaking feeling, especially since Stolas seems to have been actively working to not be like his fellow royals, and it hurts him that Blitzø doesn’t see that.

Blitzø doesn’t just feel bad when he sees Stolas crying. When he hears Stolas’s words, he realizes what it was that he just said and that he didn’t mean it. He even tries to apologize; when he reaches out, he’s halfway through “I’m sorry” once he realizes he’s been teleported outside. And Blitzø never apologizes, not so directly, which means he knows that he hurt Stolas and he knows that Stolas didn’t deserve it.

I also think so much of his frustration stems from the fact that he wasn’t given an opportunity to explain himself. It was explaining that started healing his relationship with Fizzarolli, after all, and not having the same chance here was clearly fucking him up.

Here’s my takeaway from this episode: this argument needed to happen if their relationship was going to evolve in a healthy way. Both of them had put too much baggage into what they currently had, and the only way to fix that was to dump it out on the proverbial table the way they did. And, because they needed to dump their baggage, it makes sense that it ended with both of them wounded.

Both of them need time to work things out, be alone with their thoughts, and try to get over their own bullshit.

Blitzø needs to learn how to let himself open up to emotion, even just a little bit, and how to express himself without sarcasm, anger, or tears.

Stolas needs to learn how to actually listen to others (which we know is a problem from the time he took Via to Loo Loo Land after being told point blank she didn’t want to go).

Both of them did things wrong. And both of them did things right: Stolas was so honest and straightforward, and Blitzø immediately realized a place he had fucked up and tried to fix it immediately. And I think this argument needed to be both of their fault, ultimately, because something on this scale would be almost impossible to come back from otherwise.

Painful, but necessary. And it’ll just mean their making up will be that much more satisfying.

[thesnazzysharky]

Something interesting about Deer Lord and Beef Demon

Something that came to my mind recently that I've been thinking about for a bit is the similarities/opposites between Deer Lord and the 100% Beef Man. Obviously I knew about how the both of them have you get teleported to a whole different dimension entirely before you get their death screen, but I've noticed some other things.

Similarities

When it comes to similarities, they're both demon-like entities with religious connotations who can go through walls, float over pits, teleport you to different dimensions entirely, and can be sealed in the Hellgate. They also both put their victims in a fate worse than death situation; with Deer Lord absorbing victims into his torso where you can see them eternally screaming and the Demon taking away his victims souls entirely. Presumably trapping them in hell or something just as horrible. One last similarity between them is that they both have something to do with children. With Deer Lord referring to the carnivorous deer as his children and the Beef Demon's locale having a play area where children would go to.

When it comes to how they're polar opposites of each other, for starters, their personalities are completely different.

Deer Lord

Deer Lord ingame is portrayed as having a sorta moral code to him. Said to be effective against violent subjects, Deer Lord presumably doesn't harm anyone that have no history of violence or aggression and don't try to harm his deer. Even once he does become aggressive towards you, he doesn't seem overly violent or aggressive about it. One of Deer Lord's motifs is submission. While hunting you down, he wants you to submit and willingly join the other suffering souls within his torso, hence him waiting for you when you're teleported to his dimension and opening up his cloak once you get closer. His chase theme being called "Your Consenting Mind" and one of the images that flashes whenever you're hit by him or his deer simply saying "join" further enforces this.

Then there's his voicelines while he's chasing you (which you can view here). Deer Lord speaks in a very matter of fact, calm, and god-like way (he is referred to as a lord for a reason after all). There's the "Join us" line which again goes back to the submission motif. There's the "Your flesh will sustain my children" and "Your submission is inevitable" lines which go along with the matter of fact part of his personality that I was talking about. The way he says these lines doesn't feel like he's trying to threaten or scare you necessarily, but rather stating a fact. He's fully confident that you WILL submit to him and your flesh will be fed to his children, whether you like it or not. Out of all of them, the most interesting line to me is the "Why do you run, child?". Once again, the way he talks doesn't come across as outright aggressive or threatening. He sounds like he's genuinely questioning why you're choosing to run away from him instead of just accepting your inevitable fate. Once again, he's fully confident that he will catch you.

Beef Demon

Then there's the Beef Demon. Not only does he lack a moral code and just targets whoever he sees, but he's also much more evil all around. While Deer Lord is about submission, the Beef Demon is about force and manipulation. He formed what was basically a cult at the failing fast food restaurant through his burgers containing his special "beef". Causing nightmares to those who eat the beef or even altering their minds entirely. Completely breaking them as a person and making them his slaves. The examples being the customer who kept mindlessly ordering excessive amounts of food and the manager slamming an employee's face on a grill as mentioned in the notes in his locale.

Being a literal demon, he's a very manipulate entity. Ruining the lives of others through a mundane fast food restaurant. You can even say his chase theme reflects this. Being innocently titled "We Have the Beef", which is a parody of the "We Have the Meats" slogan from Arby's, despite arguably being one of the most unnerving and chilling soundtracks in the game. Listening to the soundtrack itself, to me at least, it sounds like it could've once worked as a regular music track or jingle for the restaurant, but instead it's distorted and creepy sounding. Perhaps reflecting how much the demon distorted and twisted the restaurant for his own gain. There's also the fact that unlike Deer Lord, Beef Demon is much more violent and sadistic. When he captures his victims and sends them to his dimension, he later throws out their mangled and twisted corpse days later. Implying that he tortures his victims in some way before getting bored of them. But even then, the sweet release of death isn't something that his victims can be gifted with, because the demon keeps the souls of his victims. As mentioned before, perhaps sending the souls of his victims to hell or giving them a fate just as bad. When it comes to his voicelines (which you can view here) it's much more obvious that he's taunting and trying to scare the player unlike Deer Lord. The "I see you" and "I will catch you" lines being the main examples. There's also the "Turn to me" line which goes along with one of his motifs being about force rather than submission. Then there's the "Stop running away!" line, which is interesting to me in that the demon sounds noticeably frustrated while stating this. Unlike Deer Lord who is simply and calmly asking the player why they're running away, the demon is demanding the player to stop running from them in anger. Similar lines that show different perspectives.

The Beef Demon is interesting in that he's one of the very few characters in the game that you can really call evil. Most of the other specimens, monsters, and dolls have some excuse. He doesn't. The demon most likely knows that what he's doing is wrong, but he doesn't care and doubles down by taking pleasure in what he's doing.

Deer Lord has you come to him in his dimension so you can submit yourself to him. Beef Demon has you come to him in his dimension because he's a sadistic prick who likes playing with prey, with his arms wide open for embrace and all. Deer Lord just wants to be left alone for the most part. Beef Demon actively seeks his prey out. Some other opposites between the two include: Deer Lord staying close to the ground while Beef Demon floats, the axe not affecting the lord while the demon teleports away when hit, Deer Lord speaking normally while the demon speaks in reverse, Deer Lord being trapped just like all the other specimens while the demon can leave and come back whenever he pleases, Deer Lord being lean and standing upright while Beef Demon is more bulky and slouches forward, Deer Lord's locale being more natural while Beef Demon's locale is more industrial and familiar to humans, and Deer Lord is a child of Bayagototh and has his children come help him in the Hellgate chase. Meanwhile Beef Demon is a more separate and independent entity that makes others his pawns. I also brought up how they both have something to do with children, but what makes them different is that Deer Lord genuinely cares about his deer who he views as his children while Beef Demon is a manipulator towards children. Whatever went down in the play area and what happened to those children afterwards can't have possibly been good. One last thing to end this off that further relates these two to each other, not only do their chase themes fit together surprisingly well as seen in this video, but under that same video is a comment stating that apparently their themes have the same key and BPM. I'm not a musician or anything like that. So I don't fully know what that means or if it's true, but if it is, then it's another piece connecting these two to each other.

Conclusion

After thinking about and taking a closer look at all of this, I'm surprised by the results. I was always a big fan of Specimen 11, but I could understand why everyone was in the camp of him feeling like a poor man's Specimen 8 with his death sequence being so similar; as if Kira got kinda lazy while coming up with a cool death sequence and just did what Deer Lord did again because it worked the first time.

Now with everything I said and analyzed, I'm starting to think that these two being similar yet polar opposites at the same was possibly intentional. As for lore implications or what Kira was trying to imply with all of this, I'm not fully sure. You could simply view it as establishing Deer Lord and Beef Demon as rivals of sort, with them being so different in their personalities and ideals. Or you could perhaps say that the Beef Demon is connected to Bayagototh is someway somehow. Maybe one day Kira will make a game that expands on Beef Demon a bit more? Again, not sure, but it's all interesting to think about nonetheless. Needless to say, I'm fucking obsessed with this game and will forever love it to death. For such a seemingly simple game on the surface, there always seem to be something intriguing to find or think about. Well, I hope you enjoyed reading and have a snazzy day!

[seat-safety-switch]

For a couple years, I worked in a video store in a small town. In many ways, this was the culmination of a childhood dream: routine, unchallenging labour. If you were a particularly annoying labour analyst, all I actually ever “did” was ring up rentals, restock returns in the morning, and clean the windows. Customer service has its own way of filling the space left by the actual work, though.

People who have worked retail are a sort of elite corps. For one thing, you’re never rude to another retail employee for the entire rest of your life. You’ve been in the trenches, too, and even if you somehow managed to escape, you’d still have had that shared trauma to know how bad that shift could get for that shelf-stocker at Maybe’s Drugs off I-40.

I have all the usual complaints, but there’s something else, too. My unique problem is this: I had this one customer who came in every Monday morning, asking for the same movie. We never had that movie, which is the crux of our conflict. He – and I can’t remember his name anymore, even if the electroshock therapy had been effective – never took “no” for an answer, and would come back the next week. He’d ask for the same thing, by title. No other details: no barcode, no publisher, no actors. Not even a description of the plot (he hadn’t seen it yet, obviously.) Now, this was before broadband internet was widely available, so I’d have to dial up after hours to America Online, and see if the movie had been added to their database. It never did, except one night I saw some folks talking about it in a video store chat room.

Their customers, too, were asking for this film. Insistently. After talking about it that night, we decided that we would form a bit of a trade union group. If any of us heard anything on this mysterious VHS, we would share the knowledge with the rest of the group. That retail-worker camaraderie at work again, you see. Nothing ever came of it, but I did end up becoming good friends with a manager at a Hobart’s Movies in Ames, Iowa, and we were even roommates for awhile before he got a new job at Seaworld. I moved on, too, making my slow, but inevitably in retrospect, drift towards the coast. Still, the whole thing bothered me. For years afterward, I would turn on my computer every Monday night, long after I had left the job, and search for any clue as to the existence of this film.

Once, on a day off, I called a librarian, who got pissy at me for even asking about it, and demanded to know who had put me up to calling her as a prank. I hung up in a panic, but she called back for hours. Obviously, she was also undergoing the same situation, and I felt shame at having brought a momentary pain to another proud Retail-American.

Now, video rental stores are a thing of the past. Even in small towns, they have been reduced to just a fond memory and an abandoned corner of a strip mall. Maybe my customer’s quest doesn’t matter anymore. The aggregation of the world’s knowledge into one hissing, unseen beast at the centre of our collective technological hallucination is complete. If they don’t have it, pick a different one. All I know is that, one day, someone will find a copy of this movie, and I’ll be able to go back to that town and shove it in the ground where the video store once stood. On that day, I can finally rest, freed from the slavedriver that is Mr. Magoo’s Christmas Carol.

[vivid-vices]

hello hi, wanna go off a bit about mori-san? whatever you want to say, just have fun~

hi :) i always wanna talk about mori!!

i can't stop thinking about the disconnect between mori and dazai that comes from mori projecting onto dazai so hard. like when they first met dazai was very much like mori - obviously much more disinterested in life but he didn't have any close human connections and was able to follow mori's commitment to the ideal solution because of it. but through chuuya and ango and especially oda, he came to develop strong bonds with people that mori simply doesn't have. and mori didn't predict that.

dazai's words to fyodor about not trusting anything you can't control could apply equally to mori. he's a chess master and the city of yokohama is the board and the mafia members are his pieces. he treats them well, doesn't carelessly throw away lives, but at the end of the day, they have a purpose to serve. and oda - he was barely a pawn. he was so underutilized. mori doesn't have the kind of relationships that would allow him to prioritize true friendship, to value people outside of their usefulness. he expected dazai to follow his logic and ultimately understand the purpose of the sacrifice.

except dazai loved oda. and oda threw a wrench in all of mori's careful planning by telling dazai to escape to the light.

because maybe, maybe, mori could've predicted dazai going off to sulk and be angry for a while before ultimately coming back to the mafia, because what else did he have in life before oda gave him a purpose? but when he first heard that dazai joined the agency, it had to be a complete shock. a slap in the face, honestly. his greatest tool, his most competent executive, the boy he trained and taught and led for four years, now part of an enemy group because of his own actions.

that had to sting a bit. not even close to enough to regret getting the permit, of course, but for mori as a person, it had to be painful.

but mori would probably never acknowledge that emotion. it was for the good of the mafia, of yokohama as a whole, after all, and that's the only thing that matters. outwardly, at least.

i think mori is a deeply lonely person and dazai was one of the few people who made a dent in that loneliness - part of the reason why elise now copies some of his personality traits. (and i could make a whole post about elise, i love her so much. elise is such a reflection of his loneliness. you don't create an entire person if you have healthy relationships and aren't a control freak, but i digress.) but his biggest failure was in thinking that dazai was equally lonely, equally alone, and equally willing to put the organization over everyone and everything.

because mori has nothing else other than the mafia. it's both his home and his prison. like he said to chuuya, he's both a leader and a slave to the organization. that will never change.

and as silly as it sounds to blame the difference between them on the power of friendship, it's the only thing that separated dazai from ending up just like mori. except dazai has a capacity for cruelty that mori doesn't and if oda hadn't told dazai to leave the mafia, i think we would've seen the results of that immediately after his death.

anyway. i'm insane about mori and dazai. i think about them so much. their dynamic is one of my favorite relationships in bsd because of the range and ambiguousness of it - it's never even close to familial, way too casual for typical boss/employee while still definitely not friendly, dazai was a complete brat to him most of the time while mori was just amused, and now there's this one-sided absolute hatred while mori holds zero resentment towards dazai so you can't really even call them enemies. there's no label for whatever they have going on. and i'm not normal about it. at all.

[kittenpower05]

essay time

I just got through urban plague (library of ruina) yesterday and I'm thinking so hard I am rotating it in my brain like a microwave you do not understand

I love dystopia!! I love commentary on humanity by highlighting negative aspects of society!! And I ESPECIALLY love when there is a moral implication to it!! Spoilers for wedge reception cutscene but

The conversation between Philip and Oscar hits so hard when you view it with all the perspectives and parallels goin on like,, Philip WANTS to go back and retrieve the books of his dead coworkers, he wants to be able to avenge them for their death, and though Oscar agrees to go with him, he brings up the point that inherently, that thought is selfish, and that trying to do something under the guise of it being for someone else is a dangerous mindset

And like..... looking at the City? It's not an entirely wrong stance to have! It can be argued that people arent inherently selfish, or it could even be argued that even with people's inherent selfishness that doesn't diminish the acts of good deeds/doing things for the sake of other people. But in the City, it's a dog-eat-dog world where people kill to survive, to make a living for themselves. The only way to move forward is to force someone else behind. You're trapped in oractically an endless loop of trying and failing to increase status in the city. In that sense, if you ARENT selfish, you're as good as dead. So in Oscars eyes, trying to justify actions under the guise of emotion or for the sake of someone else forgoes safety, it puts oneself at risk, it can lead people blindly into situations they can't handle anf get themselves killed over something they shouldn't have placed upon themselves.

And especially seeing Roland and Angela's commentary on it as well!!! Angela is against it obviously because she was hurt by this mentality!!! Ayin had her trapped in a basement, repeating the same day over and over and over for YEARS. She wasn't even given a happy end for all of her hard work since she wasn't deemed significant enough for one- she was forgotten in favor of all the other sephirot getting their character growth and happily ever after. It doesn't matter to her that Ayin was following Carmen's dream in hoping to cure humanity and fix depression or whatever- Angela and the sephirot and all the employees of lob corp had to suffer for it. Enjecting them with drugs to create horrid creatures, living in the same timeloop until the day turns out Just Right, is it worth it? At what point does the suffering of the few justify betterment for the many?

But even so this is not at all like the situation that Philip is going through! Angela had experienced a very severe case of this- Philip only wants to go back to the library in hopes of getting his friends books back. Yeah, there's the likelihood that he and the wedge order all die in the process, but he dies for his friends. That's honorable, right? After all, it was his fault in the first place so it's only fair that he does something to make up for that, right? Clearly Oscar disagrees- he's the head of an Extremely influential order, and if he went around helping anyone with what he sees to be a hero complex then he would quickly lose reputation, he would be overrun by lower class fixers with meaningless revenge requests.

I do have an opinion and many other thoughts on this argument- but that's not my point here! My point is that morality is extremely complex, and I love esp in dystopias when morality is discussed and characters clearly have a different view of it based on who they are or the experienced they've went through! The game has a clear stance on the topic and it's because of the setting that all of these characters are living in- and I think that's beautiful

[gasstationsweets]

THIS POST CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR HELLUVA BOSS S1E8

okay okay okay- i just watched the new episode. i want to kinda unravel it all.

so, the first thing i realized is that there was definitely some connection between loona and tex (not romantic, obviously): even after she found out he had a girlfriend she still decided to be friends with him and still went to one of his “crazy ass hound parties”

second, i love how this whole episode focuses on loona and her life OUTSIDE of IMP. she isn’t just the way she is with all of her employees, but she’s the exact same way when she’s out and about: hard to interact with. but, like every episode, you see her confidence grow overtime, somewhat a character build up i guess.

though, when it comes to the aspect OUTSIDE of these things in the first half of the video, i wasn’t entertained. i honestly wasn’t.

then the second half rolls around, and blitzø gets involved.

he sees that he gets contacted by loona, and despite how mopey he is because of his shitty day, he still gets up and goes to get her. now i would like to point out that throughout the entire series, loona and blitzø have had such a hard time connecting but he will still be there for her and that’s something i love about him. she mentions how it “doesn’t matter” because she’s adopted but he still cares for her more than himself and that is a BIG aspect of his character entirely.

he comforts her and makes sure she’s okay. when she says she wants to give the party another shot, he is hesitant at first which is expected, but then said yes because he just wants her to be happy.

she felt so much more comfortable at the party the second she walked in with blitzø. it was obvious she felt a lot safer and she was actually having fun.

and she called him DAD ??!? HELLO ?!!! i’ve LITERALLY been waiting for this moment for SO LONG !!

later on, still at the party, tex and his girlfriend go up to loona and talk about how blitzø is “out of control.” at first, loona says that it’s fine and he gets like this all the time! once tex’s girlfriend mentions how he’s “causing problems on purpose” loona INSTANTLY gets defensive saying, “don’t act like you know him like i do!” he’s crazy, not problematic.

she finds him, drunk off his ass and making out with people, and drives him home. when they get there, she sets him on the couch and gets him water and a blanket. then, blitzø opens up to her about how his day was shitty. loona jokes around asking if that’s why he drank so much at the party, but then he starts CRYING.. he talks about his fear of dying alone. he asks if she’ll be there. as she covers him with the blanket, she says, “i’ll be there, dad.”

ANFJCJSNRIFJGLRKRKCJS

THAT IS TWO TIMES !!!!

the fact that blitzø knows he can open up to her and the fact that loona can care for him shows how much their relationship has grown. they still get on each others nerves but they still strongly care about each other and it’s now shedding out.

this WHOLE EPISODE just shows a completely different side of loona. her character has grown and she’s become more comfortable with herself.

also gonna mention the fact that the first time blitzø has EVER opened up about his feelings, it was to his daughter. sure, he was absolutely wasted, but it was still a special moment. when she walks away during his drunk blabber, he mentions stolas. before he said that he was afraid of dying alone. this proves my point from the previous episode that he DOES care about him, and that he has taken almost every moment for granted.

what’s crazy to me though is that i didn’t feel as.. attached? to this episode? i’m not sure why. maybe it’s just weird having an episode revolve around loona and her feelings because it’s just.. not something i’m used to seeing ?

i still very much enjoyed it though and i want to hear thoughts from other people :D

[ir0n-moon]

Army of the Doomstar spoilers.

I wrote all this for post-AOTD fanfic purposes. You can totally disagree and go in an entirely different direction for your own, of course. Go nuts.

Been thinking about the klokateers post-AOTD. We don't see any of them during the final battle, iirc. Just regular people, no hoods.

I think it kind of mirrors the season 1 finale where the army of Klokateers battle against Crozier's army while the boys are unconscious. Except this time during AOTD we can clearly see it's a diverse group of people from all walks of life.

Obviously this (+ Nathan's speech at the end) is a representation of the band coming to view their fans and employees as real people with real lives, and not just a matched set of disposable minions.

However I'm curious if 1. There's any Klokateers left in the world at all, 2. Will there be people willing to join the ranks of Dethklok again, and 3. If so, how different life as a Klokateer might be after the Metalocalypse.

So for no. 1, I do think there's still Klokateers out there. Sure, the "official" Army of the Doomstar was killed by Salacia & co., but I don't think Mordhaus was destroyed (the boys return to an intact home after the Aortic Desecration cataclysm, iirc). I'm willing to bet their regular staff must still be there. They might only be a fraction left of the millions they once were, but they remain as loyal as ever. They might have in fact been present during the final battle, simply not in uniform for storytelling purposes.

Number two. It all depends on what Dethklok will do post-Metalocalypse. I like the open world of possibilities the ending left us with. We don't know if they'll continue to make music, we don't know if they'll retire, I think the only thing we can say for sure is that they will remain together. So they could totally return to Mordhaus. Or they could downsize if they see fit. They've reached a... slight level of maturity after the events of AOTD. Perhaps this could mean them realizing that while they like their luxury just fine, they don't actually need that many rooms and fancy gadgets they once demanded on a whim.

So they might still need employees. And I'm sure plenty of people would be willing to work for them. They're the saviors of the entire planet, after all. But life as a post-apocalypse Klokateer might be very different than it was before. Which brings me to number three.

If post-AOTD Dethklok is really willing to continue learning and changing their ways, I doubt they'd continue to enjoy witnessing their employees' inhumane living conditions, no matter how "brutal" they think it is. People *might* be willing to live under such conditions for them, mind you! But I want to have faith in the boys and believe that they'd now fully interiorize how wrong that is.

After Salacia's been defeated, after the apocalypse has been mostly averted, there's no need for their employees to sacrifice their wellbeing, no matter how devoted they might be to their bosses. There's no need for them to go through a deadly hiring process. There's no need for Dethklok to continue being the meat grinder their Klokateers willingly enter into, knowing they won't make it out in one piece.

Post-AOTD Klokateers could just be regular employees, if only the kind to sport a wacky uniform and be proud of it. There'd be no need for them to be as many as there once was. Just enough to keep Dethklok safe (they'd still need bodyguards, after all), do their jobs as roadies and sound technicians, and regular everyday staff who keep the band's home running smoothly. Whether that's Mordhaus or anywhere else.

[carriagelamp]

Had the sort of month where I could feel my books crying out for me while I was at work. They wanted to draw me home into their loving embrace…

My main take away from this month is that if you're going to be anything, by god be sincere

Bury Your Gays // Straight

My hold on Chuck Tingle’s latest horror novel came in just in time for spoopy season, which felt very appropriate, so I read both it and Straight, his horror novella that I hadn’t known about until I was looking up the release day for Bury Your Gays.

Both were quite enjoyable reads, and struck similar chords. He does a really good job of taking a potentially campy concept that’s been done before, and giving a very unique spin — not just in the inclusion of queer themes which can often come across as surface level and token if poorly done, but from the societal commentary that’s woven through both works. The queerness isn't window-dressing, but inherent to the story, horror, and criticism that’s present in both. Another thing they both have in common is that they are also, fundamentally, about hope and community and overcoming horror, which feels very relevant to the topic matter.

Straight is the shorter of the two, and on the surface is a zombie story. Due to vague cosmic horror, a strange thrall comes over straight people once a year that causes them to become rabidly violent towards all queer people. Two years out from the first instance, this story looks at how a group of queer friends deal with the trauma, how society has responded to it (and the fact that this came out 2021 feels very obvious as it looks at a fictional global pandemic), and how the friends themselves brace themselves for this years event. Isolating themselves out in the desert, they batten down and hope to wait for it to pass by relaxing and playing board games… obviously this doesn’t happen as intended.

Bury Your Gays was very different again, and between the two feels like the more ambitious in terms of imagination and story telling. The main character of this story is a partially closeted screenwriter for a major film studio who has had some success, both cult- and critical-success. However he starts to realise that there may be something sinister pulling the strings when he comes face to face with a fan dressed up as one of the horror monsters he had created for the screen. It must be a fan, right?

Both of these are excellent stories, and I appreciate how they shamelessly demand the reader suspend disbelief. They don’t bother over-explaining things, and allow horror to be unapologetically horror, slightly fantastical and campy and definitely scary. I have to admit, neither quite lives up to Camp Damascus, but I enjoyed both quite a bit nonetheless.

Defekt

The sequel (technically midquel?) to Finna, though it honestly stands alone fairly well. Finna, which involved hopping wormholes through fictional Ikeas, was alright, but I definitely think if you want something like that you’d be better for reading Horrorstör by Grady Hendrix. Defekt, on the other hand, I thought was an excellent novella and I’m glad I decided to give it a try! If you’re on the fence about this series, I’d skip right over Finna and just go straight to Defekt.

This novel is about Derek, who is LitenVärld’s most loyal employee. Everything about his life is centred around his work… even after his shifts he goes no farther than the storage crate in the LitenVärld parking lot where he lives. In this way, and many others though, he starts to notice that there are some… inconsistencies between how he views the world and how his coworkers view the world. He has never quite connected to them before, but do they have entirely different manuals? And why is his superior getting so angry about him taking a sick day when his colleagues seem to see no problem with it? Things come a head though when he’s scheduled for a special sort of inventory shift and he finds himself face to face with not just one but a whole team of people who seem to be his direct clones…

Doctor Who: The Day She Saved The Doctor

Like many Doctor Who novels this one is… fine. If you’re in the mood for more Doctor Who and want something easy it’s pleasant, but nothing world rocking. It’s composed of four short stories that bill themselves as feminist tales that focus on Sarah Jane, Rose, Clara, and Bill and how they “save” the Doctor. Honestly my main complaint is that they don’t actually do a great job sticking to this theme. The stories range from rather hamfisted to completely insincere — none of them have a truly impressive “save” but part of that might just be that they’re such short stories that they really have no space to come up with a complex rescue mission. None of them were actually bad, but also none of them stuck with me enough to describe them now…

Emily Wilde’s Encyclopaedia of Faeries

I was disappointed by this one. I feel like I’ve seen rave reviews for this novel, and it’s been on my reading list for ages, but now that I’ve finally sat down to read it I found it… profoundly underwhelming. It seems to be going for a sort of “cozy academia” vibe and I’m sure that works for some people but mostly I just found it… very boring. Maybe I was hoping for something more like a grown up Spiderwick. Emily Wilde was an okay character, but without much depth, and the male character they introduced was uninteresting to me. I ended up giving up on it part way through when I finally gave up on the plot picking up in any significant way. If it does get better, it wasn’t worth the slog to get there imho sorry to all the people out there that love it.

Hakumei & Mikochi v1

I honestly just adore stories about Very Tiny People in a Very Big World. This completely scratched this itch I have for Borrower-esque stories! It’s an episodic manga about the lives of Hakumei and Mikochi, who live together in a tree house, and little events in their life such as shopping in town, camping, and befriending a necromancer! Normal day to day things! I wouldn’t mind reading a second, it was very chill and charming.

Jaws

I honestly don’t know what I expected here. I had never seen Jaws before, but me and my friends have spent so much time swimming this summer to keep cool that we decided it was the time to finally watch it. I see why the movie is such a classic, it was an excellent film! Very well made thriller! And a great end-to-the-summer movie. Then I made the mistake of deciding to read the original novel. I got about eight pages in before they said faggot for the first time. At that point I decided maybe I should read a review or two. Honestly I might have pushed past the homophobia if the novel itself sounded good, but apparently the types of horror used in the novel vs the film are very different. The novel has none of the subtly that the movie uses and is primarily sexual and gross-out horror that was fairly typical of the 70s pulp horror scene. So. I did not continue reading Jaws. I feel like I need a nega-pride flag for this one.

Poison For Breakfast

Really neat novella by Lemony Snicket, and honestly I have a hard time classifying this one. It’s technically fiction, but in a lot of ways feels like it’s not, it’s autobiographical about someone who doesn’t actually exist. It starts with the author receiving a note telling him that he ate poison for breakfast. More than anything, it’s an entire book of philosophy told through the lens and language of Lemony Snicket. If you have any fond memories of The Series of Unfortunate Events then honestly you should read this. Even if you don’t, it’s worth reading. The language is so evocative and it genuinely made me stop and think and squirm with a general discomfort that good philosophising around life and death can bring about. 

Series of Unfortunate Events: The Bad Beginning, The Reptile Room, The Wide Window

I stumbled across Poison for Breakfast specifically because I decided to reread the Series of Unfortunate Events. I’ve been fairly anxious lately (more than usual, which is saying something when it’s me) and I needed something that would hold my interest but otherwise be an easy audiobook to listen to at night or during my morning commute. Since I’ve never actually read the whole series as a kid (they weren’t all out yet when I started and I never got around to finishing it) I decided now was the time. I’m especially excited to read it as an adult because I’m picking up a lot of nuance I simply didn’t notice as a kid, especially related to the Snicket / Beatrice subplot. Lemony Snicket really does now how to write a compelling mystery.

If you’ve never read The Series of Unfortuante Events, it’s got to be one of the best youth novel series out there (I say, unbiased). The narration is unlike anything else I’ve read in any genre, as is the strange world that the story is set in. The series starts with the three Baudelaire children learning that their parents died in a horrible fire that consumed their home, and that they will have to go stay with a distant relative who they have mysteriously never heard of before: Count Olaf. It quickly becomes apparently that the cruel Count Olaf is only after the Baudelaire fortune that Violet will eventually inherent, and though they expose him by the end of the first book it’s only the beginning of the tragic events that will dog at their heels from here on out…

The Bad Beginning, The Reptile Room and The Wide Window are the ones in the series I’ve reread the most, and were very comforting to return to! (also I feel compelled to mention that Tim Curry does the audiobook for The Reptile Room and he uses his fucking Nigel Thornberry voice for Uncle Monty and you haven't lived until you've heard Nigel Thornberry get horrifically murdered in a completely unrelated novel... wild experience.)

Shakespeare: The Man Who Pays the Rent

Easily the best book I read this month. This book was originally meant to be a series of interviews between Judi Dench and Brendan O’Hea about her time as a Shakespearean actor. The interviews took place over four years and were meant for archival purposes before O’Hea realised how much these might be enjoyed by a wider audience — and boy was he correct about that.

The interviews are profoundly insightful about the various roles Dench played, her opinions on the characters and plays themselves very compelling, while also being interspersed with wit, banter, and reflections on everything from her fellow actors, to costuming choices, to green room antics. Dench has a remarkable memory and it means the interviews are able to go into great detail about the specific productions of each play that Dench participated in. I listened to the audiobook and if you have even a passing interest in Shakespeare I really can’t recommend it enough.

The Scum Villain Self-Saving System v2

 I continue down the SVSSS rabbit hole and honestly I have to applaud this series for proving to be more than mindless fluff, which is kind what I had been expecting of it (sorry, I was very biassed against this series). Don’t get me wrong, it is a genuinely hilarious series and an absolute parody of the genre, but it’s more than that which I think is important. Despite being a parody, it’s very sincere in its characters and relationships and story; while the main character may bitch and moan about certain “story tropes” and the “shitty author” who wrote the webnovel he’s found himself in, he’s as much swept up in this world as anyone else is, and the story forces you to acknowledge even the tropier aspects and look at how they would fit into a world where such things dictated every day life.

In this volume Luo Binghe (the “protagonist” who is supposedly destined to kill Shen Qingqiu) returns from his “presumed death” in the Abyss, much earlier than in the original story. Shen Qingqiu is frantic when he finds out, desperate to ensure his back up plan is in place and that he might yet avoid the inevitable death his character is meant to suffer at Luo Binghe’s hands. Of course, nothing is that easy, and Shen Qingqiu has irrevocably changed the plot (and possibly the entire genre) of this story, though he himself may not realise it yet…

Yuri Is My Job v1

So, my earlier comment about sincerity? How both SVSSS and Chuck Tingle’s stories intentionally use a lot of specific tropes and parody their genres? Despite this, both examples clearly love the genres they’re lampshading and ultimately commit to the story they’re telling. They never break away from the story to wink at the audience and say “see how dumb this is?” (cough Marvel) — they are completely embroiled in the worlds they create, they are entirely sincere in the story they’re telling.

And then you have this. Yuri Is My Job is a yuri manga about a protagonist who hides her true self behind a cutesy, beauteous mask. She’s determined to be the prettiest, sweetest, most desirable person in any room — she always wants to be the first pick! And things continue well for her, until she finds herself getting roped in to covering a shift at an usual themed café: one that’s based around a fictional private academy where the “students” work at the cafe and play out little dramas for the customers.

This could have been fun, especially as the protagonists realises that everyone is wearing a mask, and how their performed personalities can differ wildly from their true personalities, but there’s just no sincerity here. It makes me think of Ouran High School Host Club but without any love behind it. OHSHC can get away with a lot, and I’ll suspend a lot of disbelief while reading it, because it’s having so much fun with what it does. This manga seems to suck away any joy by constantly poking fun at its own premise.

So I dunno… YMMV, maybe this is something someone else would enjoy a lot, but it honestly just kind of annoyed me, especially when I sat down to figure out what exactly I didn’t like about it.

If you’re going to be anything, be sincere at the very least. Show me that you love what you’re about.

[riahlynn101]

Dad December - Day Nine: "Abandonment."

Summary: AFO’s abandonment issues go brrrr. Also, AFO x Inko :D!!

Trigger warnings: Abandonment issues, minor slut shaming, and AFO being AFO

--

All for One lets himself into his assistant’s apartment. He hasn’t seen her in over a week, and he (misses her presence, her warmth) is falling behind on paperwork. Besides, All for One is her boss, which means he has an obligation to his employees. It’s just business, nothing more (liar). 

He goes to slip his shoes off, but the mat Inko usually kept near the closet is missing. In fact, now that he’s looking closer, the entire area is empty and clean. His eyebrows furrow. Surely, Inko didn’t leave without telling him? She wouldn’t. 

She can’t. 

All for One calls out to her. “Inko! Inko!” Her apartment is completely empty. Everything from the furniture to the photos on her walls are gone. This can’t be. She can’t leave him. His hands shake and it’s hard to think straight and shecan’tleavehimeveryonealwaysleaveswhydotheyalwaysleavewh-

“In here,” a strained voice calls back. 

In a daze, All for One stumbles his way to Inko’s bedroom. And there, sitting on the edge of her bed is the very person he’s looking for. “Inko, my dear, I was calling you.”

Her head is bowed, long hair covering her face. “I…sorry.” 

“Are you okay? This isn’t like you.” He sits next to her on the bed. 

“No, Hisashi” she gives a humorless laugh. It’s so different from the laugh he’s come to know and love. 

Gently, he takes her hand. But Inko slides her hand away. She sniffles. “I don’t know what to do.”

He opens his mouth. There are a million things Inko can do - paperwork and answering phones the least among them. He likes having her around. He feels a little less lost, like the cloud that’s been hanging over him since his brother left him, while not completely gone, is more like a cloud on a sunny day and less like the ones that come before a thunderstorm. 

Inko breaks down, putting her face in her hands. And suddenly, Hisashi has no idea what to say.

“What happened?” He asks, rubbing her back. Comfort has never been his forte, but for Inko he’ll try. “Did someone rob you?” A robbery would explain the bare apartment and Inko’s behavior. But the thought of someone hurting his favorite (person) employee brings a new wave of anger washing over him. “Can you describe them to me? I’ll find them. They’ll regret-”

“No, Hisashi,” Inko says, voice wavering. “No one robbed me.”

He calms down a little. “Good. Then, why are you so upset?”

Inko lifts her head, and for the first time in over a week, Hisashi sees her beautiful face. It’s ruddy and wet from sobbing for god knows how long. But beautiful nonetheless. He kisses her temple. “Please, Inko, just tell me what happened.” He wraps his arms around her, being the stability that she obviously needs. “I won’t be mad, I promise.” 

And he wouldn’t be. Not at her. She’s still here, with him, and that’s all that matters. 

“I’m pregnant,” she murmurs. “And it’s yours.”

Hisashi is still processing the first part of her sentence, so he fails to hear the second. He suddenly feels warm, and he has to pull away from Inko. He stands up.

“Hisashi?” 

He paces the length of the room. “You’re pregnant, which means you have a boyfriend. Which explains why you’re moving out of the apartment. I guess you’re going to move in with him. I’m happy for you, but I can’t believe you didn’t tell me you had a-”

There’s a harsh tug on his jacket. Hisashi looks down towards the bed. Inko stares back at him with a pained expression. Her bottom lip quivers. “No! I don’t have a boyfriend. I just said you’re the father.” She burrows her face in her hands again. “I’m not like that. I wouldn’t do something like that,” her words are muffled, but he hears them loud and clear. 

“I’m going to be a father?” He asks, feeling a new emotion - one he hasn’t felt before. It’s electric in the best way possible. He feels giddy and lightheaded. It’s an odd combination, but one that’s a pleasant surprise. 

He falls to his knees in front of her, taking her face in his hands. “Inko, why are you so sad? We’re going to be parents. This is a happy occasion.” 

Instead of answering, she cries harder. “I was going to move and start over. Packed all my stuff, signed a new lease a few cities over, and even had a new job all lined up. But…I couldn’t do I couldn’t do that to you, or our baby.”

“Our baby?” Hisashi repeats, the words feel funny coming off his tongue. A smile cracks across his face. He lifts Inko off the bed, spinning her around. “We have a baby. Or we’re going to have one. But it’s there. It exists, and one day we’ll be able to hold it in our arms.” His words tumble out of his mouth, without much thought to them. Not that Inko minds, as she’s taken to burying her face in Hisashi’s neck. 

“I love you, Hisashi,” Inko mutters. 

He smiles, soaking up her warmth. 

[babviews]

SPOILERS FOR TRAP 2024!!!

I was so excited to see this movie! The trailer looked so exciting.

What a movie! I thought the element of choice in this film was very emphasized. The whole time I was watching, it felt like I was in a choose your own adventure book, but someone else was playing it. There’s so many deliberate choices Cooper makes to get to the end. We see it very obviously with the fire alarm. He has a choice to either pull it or find a different way out. Before he can make the choice, the outcome is explained by the profiler as a dead end. Other instances of this can be seen from the small opening under the stage that Copper suggests he and Riley go explore during the show, and the knife he is quite literally handed by Jamie in the employee only area.

The first one his choice is made difficult by the fact that he would have had to leave Riley behind, making his decision obvious. Now with the knife, Jamie purposely made sure no one else was around while talking to Cooper, he had every chance to kill discreetly. The death could even cause a distraction. With each choice, where there is a fork in the path of what Cooper could do, the camera focused on his face and his reaction. Each time, his choices allow him to continue on. But just a little differently and he could have come to an ending in his choose your own adventure book early.

There are some plot holes, the glaringly obvious to me is first off, where is the security guards for Lady Raven? You’re telling me that this huge huge big pop star is getting into her limo with these random fans and going to their house and not a single bodyguard is involved?? I think not.

Also at the end when Riley and Logan are let out of the police car while their serial killer father is being arrested? I’m thinking that isn’t something that would fly well. Especially how Riley was allowed to give Cooper a hug, seems like something the surrounding fbi agents wouldn’t love. But that’s just me.

Final thoughts on the matter? Man is this whole thing going to fuck up Riley. Your dad was always there for you and loved you and took you to concerts, but the whole time he had this secret other life, that’s sure to cause some damage. The same loving hands that have held you your entire life are the same that have caused unspeakable violence.

Josh Hartnett did a great job of jumping from emotion to emotion. And how fun that they made him shirtless for like an entire scene.

They knew what they were doing there

[ahaura]

my thoughts on sh*v, which is to say how some sh*v fans talk about her and regard her online

to preface: 1) i am not as attuned to the characterizations and machinations of succ.ession therefore i have gotten things wrong before about characters n i am not going to claim i am spot-on or 100% on my analysis of sh*v as a character but 2) i have some thoughts and opinions on how certain (read: probably not you reading this!) sh*v fans regard her and her place within the show

TW for mentions of: sexual assault & harassment, child abuse, etc.

i am 100% aware of the fact that within the confines of her family, within her father's world, gender makes a world of difference and that because she is a woman she is neither treated nor thought of in the same way as her brothers or father or her husband will ever be. that she experiences misogyny is obviously wrong and inexcusable, it has shaped her and shaped her experiences with both her loved ones and acquaintances. i acknowledge all of that.

my point of uh "contention" i guess is when people solely focus on the single axis of marginalization on which she experiences discrimination. it's when the ironic #girlboss feminism comments turn into, almost, painting shiv as THE victim of the roy family. like she has suffered the MOST. like every interaction she has or slight she experiences must ONLY be examined EXCLUSIVELY through the lens of gender, when, as huge as a role her gender plays, there are two things that eclipse that: that she is a white woman - and - she is a member of one of the most powerful and influential families on the entire planet.

i love snook as much as the next person and enjoy shiv as a character but the way in which certain fans engage with her and assess her just rubs me the wrong way. you can definitely say she is a victim of misogyny. you can definitely say that she was harmed and shaped by her father in the same way her brothers were, but also differently because of her gender. but she is also a roy, through and through. there are COUNTLESS posts about logan's abuse (implied, implicit, and speculated) and how it + their upbringing has shaped roman and kendall. they, too, are a product of their environment. but they also made choices. they have the capacity to make choices. the drive/motivation behind said choices can be debated and dissected to the end of time (kendall all but abandoning his daughter and choosing the n*zi candidate because it suits his wants, roman's transformation from a shitty guy who sexually harasses one of his employees into a neo-n*zi (whether he actually believes what menken believes is irrelevant; intention does not negate outcome)) but the fact is they still made choices.

shiv may have tried to make different choices and maybe she does have different, more respectable principles than her brothers but it only goes so far. skin deep. i can't remember which season it was but when a (iirc) a SA victim was going to come forward, sh*v was conflicted about it! you could tell that she didn't want to! but it doesn't matter, because she went to that victim - someone who was also a woman, btw - and silenced her on HER FATHER'S BEHALF. you may want to say "what about the game logan made his kids play" or "she felt she had no choice if she wanted to win" or "someone else would have done it if not shiv" and im telling you that ultimately none of that MATTERS when, in REAL TIME, shiv CHOSE to SILENCE A VICTIM TO PROTECT HER FATHER. TO PROTECT THE COMPANY. TO PROTECT CAPITAL. and while, yes, her working against her brothers would have been BETTER for everyone, she wasn't doing it out of the goodness of her heart. she stuttered when talking about convictions the only time she brought it up. she was in it for herself, for her own gain, and you can argue that's just how it is in their world, that she was programmed to think of it that way, etc etc, it doesnt matter, i do not care.

every single utterance of convictions, principles, and morals ring hollow for me especially after watching that unfold. shiv CHOSE TO DO THAT. i think we can all agree that silencing a victim of sexual assault is NOT FEMINIST, YES?

as a character, shiv is very interesting. there's a lot of nuance and analysis to be had and i enjoy her as much as anyone else. but i regard her in the same way as i regard kendall (like shiv, trapped in his father's playground, an addict who was broken down by his father, but ultimately a man who will never be held accountable for killing someone and still decided the fate of the world), and roman (like shiv, trapped in his father's playground, abused by his father physically and perhaps otherwise which shaped him into the person he is, who CHOSE to sexually harass gerri and has WILLFULLY supported the n*zi candidate), and connor (excluded from his father's playground, or at least put in a different corner, a man whose mother was institutionalized, is the firstborn of logan roy but never treated as such or remembered, never counted among the real roy siblings, but is still absolutely a scumbag whose power and money most DEFINITELY govern his and willa's 'marriage'). they are human, with their own traits and pitfalls and wretchedness, but they are also members of one of the most powerful families in the world, which means that they can go through all of that, and it all can be bad and horrible, but their decisions do not just affect them and their inner dynamics, the fate of entire countries, the whole planet. on a whim, for capital, or personal gain, whatever. the roy children fall on 2 scales: the human scale, onto which we can identify with them or identify their humanness (good or bad), and the grand scale, which is to say that the troubles of the children of billionaires are WHOLLY eclipsed by how their decisions affect the entire world.

and i'm not saying you can't like or enjoy these characters! this is television, yes, but 1) remember their place in the world at large and 2) seeing as how these characters and the show itself is based off of a very real family who has very real control over media and has caused very real harm in real life, i would just... idk, caution you not to woobify your faves too far.

[xtruss]

57 Years Ago, A Legendary Psychologist Discovered The 7-38-55 Rule. It's Still The Secret To Exceptional Emotional Intelligence

The Classic Psychological Rule is Often Misapplied. But When Understood Correctly, It Can Radically Improve Your Emotional Intelligence (EQ).

— Expert Opinion By Jessica Stillman| Contributor: Inc.Com | March 29, 2024

Photograph: Getty Images

As someone whose whole job it is to write things that grab attention on the internet, I'm not surprised that the 7-38-55 Rule has stuck around for 57 years. It's incredibly catchy.

First described by University of California, Los Angeles, Psychologist Albert Mehrabian back in 1967, it was later explained in detail in his book Silent Messages. The rule, as it's usually cited, states that 7 percent of communication is conveyed by our words, 38 percent comes via our tone of voice, and 55 percent comes through body language.

How simple and compelling. No wonder it's still cited by many communication pros to this day.

Only there's one problem with this handy, memorable rule. As it's usually understood, it's simply not true. But don't ditch it entirely. A correct understanding of the 7-38-55 Rule can give an instant boost to your emotional intelligence and a leg up in all sorts of tricky but important everyday situations.

What Most People Misunderstand About The 7-38-55 Rule

Google this classic rule, and you'll find articles insisting that it can help you do better at job interviews and even business negotiations by being more cognizant of your body language and tone of voice, as well as the nonverbal signals of others. It's obviously a good idea to pay attention to whether the interviewer is yawning through your answers or you're coming off as aggressive at the negotiating table, but there's a clear problem with a lot of these articles.

That's not actually what Mehrabian said. The experiments that underpin the rule weren't looking at sales pitches or interviews. They were focused specifically on situations where people were talking about their feelings and their words and expressions didn't line up.

As Mehrabian explained on his own website, "Total Liking = 7% Verbal Liking + 38% Vocal Liking + 55% Facial Liking" and other similar equations were derived from experiments specifically focused on the communication of feelings and attitudes (i.e., like-dislike). Therefore, unless a communicator is discussing their feelings or attitudes, these equations are not applicable."

If you're looking to be convinced of this visually, I recommend this short, fun video debunking broader uses of the 7-38-55 rule.

Reading Conflicting Emotional Signals Is At The Heart of EQ

The bottom line is Mehrabian's rule applies only to feelings, not factual content. And it only works when different signals are in conflict. The good news is, this encompasses a whole lot of situations that are really, really important in life.

Wondering if your girlfriend is actually mad at you even though she says she's fine? Reach for the 7-38-55 rule. Not sure if you really connected with that interesting person at the networking event? Ditto. Unclear if your employees are on board with that new initiative? Same advice.

While the 7-38-55 rule may be wildly overapplied, it's still incredibly useful for focusing attention on what's most likely to provide us accurate and valuable intel in situations where it's hard to read others' intent or emotions. When in doubt, lean more heavily on tone of voice and body language than words.

It's also useful to keep in mind when you're trying to get your own feelings across. Words do matter (a lot), but they're far from the only thing you need to consider. If what you say is in conflict with your tone or your body language, people will believe their eyes over their ears. That's a warning to any leader looking to rouse the troops while fidgeting with their hands in their pockets -- or those who think they can handle emotionally delicate matters over email or Zoom.

Reading others' emotions and accurately communicating your own is a critical component of emotional intelligence. The 7-38-55 rule is a catchy way to remind yourself that, if you want to improve these skills, how someone says something is at least as important as what they say.

[vanitysunday]

Can’t sleep it’s 2am. Work related vent.

It is currently 2:22am, I woke up because I was hot and went to turn the thermostat down. And now my anxiety is keeping me awake.

I went to the office yesterday. My boss goes in on Wednesdays so I went purposely to hand in my mileage report and ask him a few questions. Everything I had to discuss with him were new situations I’ve never encountered so I wanted to double check procedure and how I should proceed.

For some reason after speaking to him like 4-5 times in the 7 hrs he was there, my brain has decided that he now thinks I’m stupid. That may or may not be the case. But it’s kind of out my control if he does maybe. I dunno 😂

I know I can be completely irrational. I’ve been working on my anxiety around work for years. And the later half of 2023 was actually the best out of 3 years. It started in December 2020 when I got my first job in accounting. 2021 was rough, that’s the job that was half accounting and half admin assistant. I questioned myself every day. I went home after work sat on my couch and had 0 thoughts for hours because of how drained I was from the anxiety throughout the work day. Then when it was time for bed I’d stay up all night reviewing that days events, unwillingly.

Then 3 months into 2022 I started my current job, I came into this job expecting nothing and knowing nothing. I applied in desperation to escape the double duty of my previous job. This job is a lot more independent, also a lot more specified, but the work we do affects a lot of different components within the agency. So the anxiety moved from “am I doing okay? Did they actually enjoy this? Did I do that right? What is this man going to ask for next?” To “is this person really an independent contractor? What state were they really working in? Is this a stupid question to ask my boss? The employer and employee have conflicting statements, I made a decision based on the employees statement and now the employer what’s to appeal that, how do they appeal that?”

In 2023 I really came into the realization that I have no control over how other people feel about things. And it could all be in my head that anyone feels negatively about something. Whether it’s something I said, or did, or didn’t do. Until it is explicitly communicated to me that someone is upset, or angry, or any type of negative emotion, it’s my anxiety making me overthink and perceive their behavior in a negative light. Obviously that doesn’t mean I’m not perceptive. If anything I’m overly perceptive to body language. I don’t just write everything off and wait for everything to be explicitly communicated. I am still learning to calm my anxiety around how other people feel. So I’m learning the difference between my anxiety amplifying someone’s negative body language or just fabricating it entirely.

And I’m trying to continuously remind myself that none of this matters in the end but this is my reality for the next 3-4 decades.

[olgbenga-agboola]

Olugbenga Agboola on How To Build International Business Partnerships

As new technologies increasingly make the world a smaller place, international partnerships are not only more common but essential — especially in developing markets like Africa. At the forefront of creating long-lasting and effective business relationships across countries and cultures is Olugbenga “GB” Agboola, the founder and CEO of Africa’s largest fintech company Flutterwave.

Because it’s a US-based business that operates in Africa, Flutterwave perfectly represents the potential of international business partnerships. As a true African unicorn and the highest-valued startup on the continent at $3 billion, it’s an inspiration for entrepreneurs in Africa and beyond. 

The key to Flutterwave’s rapid rise from a tiny startup to being the backbone of African fintech was creating sound partnerships across borders, Olugbenga Agboola said. 

“What we didn’t expect was to become the infrastructure of payments in Africa,” Agboola said on McKinsey’s Banking & Securities “Talking Banking Matters” podcast. “There’s no Africa fintech who is not our customer, and that’s very interesting. There is no other infrastructure to pay or get paid across Africa.

“So now we are seeing ourselves more as an emerging-markets payment processor, not just in Africa. We are starting to see customers ask us why we can’t do their payments in Europe, why we can’t do it in the U.S. We have customers who have incorporation in the U.S. and the U.K. and Nigeria, for example. A lot of African airlines are like that. So there is opportunity to drive value across the board. For us, it’s just a question of forging ahead and continuing to build that infrastructure.”

Olugbenga Agboola: ‘So Many Problems To Solve’

While it’s easy to understand the appeal of foreign investment, local know-how is a component that has often been overlooked by tech companies — much to their detriment, Olugbenga Agboola said. 

“There are so many problems to solve on the continent. There are so many things to build. I’m excited by entrepreneurs who are willing to take on these crazy problems and try to solve them across the board. Africa has always been known to leapfrog. We go from nothing to something, consistently — no phones, to mobiles, to internet. People skipped browsers; they search for what they want to buy on Instagram.

“We’ve always been that way when it comes to [technology] leapfrogging a generation.”

Indeed, Africa has represented a missed opportunity for tech investment. After Twitter founder Jack Dorsey visited Ethiopia in 2019, he announced plans to move to Africa and help spur a dramatic rise in the continent’s tech development. Quick on the heels of that announcement, Meta (then Facebook) announced a new program called Free Basics, which offered internet access to mobile phone users across Africa and other developing areas. 

Unfortunately, Dorsey never made the move, and Meta’s program has been met with some concern (it was entirely banned in India, and its practice of limiting access to preapproved content has spurred criticism). 

The fits and starts of a Silicon Valley-sponsored redevelopment plan has yet to truly bear fruit. For Olugbenga Agboola, this is partly due to an underreliance on Africans as business partners.

“At the beginning, we saw that payment in Africa is a bit different from payment everywhere else. The problems are different. Africa is highly fragmented when it comes to payments. Every payment system is unique and works well in its own country, but they’re not exported well beyond their shores. Obviously, we can’t just copy and paste a Silicon Valley or European model. We have to build what works for our environment.”

It’s a guiding principle that has served Olugbenga Agboola well. Since deciding to expand operations to new countries, his company has sent employees to Kenya, South Africa, Uganda, and other nations with the goal of getting a read on their societies and better understanding the subtle nuances of each culture.

“We used to just look for talent that understands what we’re trying to build and the mission of the company — where we’re coming from and where we’re going,” Agboola said on the podcast. “This is one of the very interesting parts of my job. Now we’re thinking more in terms of understanding other markets.

“African talent is really amazing. We have the best engineers you can imagine, who can see a problem and by Monday it’s been built, tested, and is ready to go live. We have to be very agile and extremely responsive to customer needs. That is driven by the talent we have. They understand the need for what we are building. For example, we’ve got a lot of amazing women at Flutterwave, from my COO to the head of expansion, head of operations, and the head of data science. These folks are really the best people I could imagine to lead the company.”

[the2amrevolution]

Semi-regular reminder that in most states, K-12 extracurricular athletics programs cannot be funded by school budget. This includes equipment and any facilities that are not part of the regular school day use. They are funded by student participation fees, ticket sales, sponsorships, and fundraising programs. The most popular sports (football, basketball, and baseball, sometimes soccer) often help pay for the other, smaller sports.

Other extracurricular activities like marching band, show choir, one act, FAA, debate, etc. are also not funded by school budget and have to have participation fees and fundraisers.

Funding for additional pay for teachers acting as coaches or club sponsors in addition to teaching varies by state. If a coach is an admin or athletic director (in charge of all athletics, regular school hour and extracurricular), then they get that pay plus coaching bonus, same as a classroom teacher would. In states where the extracurricular bonus pay is funded by taxes same as regular educator pay, the amount is based on the number of additional hours required, extra qualifications, and experience, same as any other pay. They may also receive additional bonuses from booster clubs (parent fundraising. Again applies to all extracurriculars as there can be general booster clubs or activity specific booster clubs, but all of that is up to parents, not the school or district.

Typically, the only things that are funded by school budget are teacher base pay, SpEd bonuses, and things required during regular school hours.

A teacher who works during school hours and doesn't sponsor any clubs or participate in any extracurricular activities won't get paid as much as one that does, which is fair based on student contact work hours (mandatory work hours and student contact hours are what are counted for calculating pay). A beginner coach won't have the same bonus as a coach with a decade of experience. That coach won't have the same bonus as a coach with a decade of experience and additional education certificates and a history of working with high achieving programs. That same thing can also be said of band directors, theater directors, and any other competition based program sponsor.

Regular school facilities and base teaching salaries being underfunded has nothing to do with extracurriculars of any kind and is entirely based on school funding being based on property taxes and local and state governments not allocating additional funding to cover the gaps.

A "car allowance" is either 1) not real or 2) a booster club or sponsored bonus. If a coaches school funded bonus is $30k+, and the school or other extracurriculars are underfunded, then there is a serious local government issue and potentially an illegal use of funds issue.

Universities are a different matter, though public universities typically follow the same model. Student tuitions pay for resources that are available to every student, while additional funding for sports teams and the like come from sponsorships, fundraising, ticket sales, etc. in the same way as K-12. Part of why college sports got into being televised and became a commercial thing was so that the teams could bring in more money for the schools without increasing tuitions. Unfortunately, obviously, since that wasn't codified and the salaries of employees of non-profits aren't restricted in any way, high ranking public university employees are grossly overpaid while the rest are underpaid, and athletics became a tool to keep boosting those salaries and the upper coaching staff became a part of that. Coaches' employment and salaries are still much more dependent on performance than other high paid university employees, but its still grossly disproportionate to other staff.

Even though it would benefit the school over all to regulate salaries of non-profit employees, they obviously arent going to do it themselves or support any legislature that would, and those individuals will fundraise for legislative candidates that allow them to keep making as much money as they can.