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February 2nd 2025

Just finished a 30 minute walk. I woke up from an afternoon nap. I'm cutting back on caffeine and it's got me quite foggy and tired so I'm just leaning into it until it passes.

Also, I absolutely gave myself a concussion yesterday. I was taking laundry out of the dryer, our dryer is stacked on top of the washer towards the back of our kitchen. They both are front loading. We have a little nook next to them that we'll be turning into a breakfast nook, but right now it houses Kimchi, the Roomba. I was watching to make sure Kimchi made it home and forgot I had the dryer door open or just forgot entirely what I was doing. So I was slightly bent over watching Kimchi, I started standing up to full height and turning around to face the dryer and walked right into the edge of the door at full strength.

I've never gotten dizzy or sleepy after hitting my head ever in my life. That did it. I also couldn't get a word out about 10-15 minutes after it happened, I had to speak slowly to avoid jumbling everything. I probably should've sought medical attention but also 🤷🏽‍♀️. If I go I go. (sometimes I think it was a bad idea to get off antidepressants because of my attitude towards things like this). And my boyfriend's sugar was incredibly high because he didn't put new insulin in his pump so he was barely conscious....we honestly are barely surviving as we are 💀.

We need to both turn it around this year. I'm glossing over the fact that the second half of January was less than desirable for me because of many things but I don't want to make excuses. Time to pick up where I left off.

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polo_reef on ig

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By wonder_doodles

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cs.desserts___

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everyone is becoming way too comfortable about being horrible people

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- Franz Kafka, 1912

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gotta lock in

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Oof

This week was rough. After we visited the urgent care for my dog they x-rayed him and he has early intervertebral disc disease. So he is to be on strict rest for 6-8 weeks. We bought a ramp for him to use to get onto and off furniture. He is so stubborn and despite fully being able to confidently use it, he still jumps every now and then.

We got the ramp delivered Friday. I was sleeping poorly prior to the ramp because I wanted to make sure he wouldn't jump off the bed throughout the night. And since he stubbornly refuses to use it with our bed, I am still sleeping poorly. Our bed is much higher than the couches so it's so bad when he jumps off it.

You can tell when he starts jumping too much the entire feeling in his body changes. He starts hunching more, trembling. And he just doesn't even realize he's hurting himself. He also wants to play so bad and we cannot so I feel so bad. I bought some things to entertain him without any physical activity. He's coming around to them.

But this week, aside from Monday and Tuesday, I have not moved. I did strength workouts Monday and Tuesday and that was it. And now that I'm kind of coming down from everything with my dog, I feel like shit.

I know life happens. But I want to be able to maintain even some semblance of a routine, or consistency even when life goes to shit sometimes. I'm feeling barely better because I realize not all is lost. I'm not fucked. It's not like I'm too far gone and it's pointless to keep trying. I may have overeaten...a ton. But what's done is done.

I can continue on trying to build better habits and routines.

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Waking up feeling like shit and giving myself grace like