#the concept that I’m 17 is still foreign to me.

[thatweirdoleigh]

It’s so weird to think that my 18th is coming up

[ornii]

Killer queen anon here.

I meant more of a quiet reader who is really good at psychological evaluations to the point of him just looking at someone and knowing them, so Enid just points them out to Wenesday and tells them that they can help and then they just kinda do. Maybe romance. Maybe not. Who knows. But the serial killer thing is cool too. Maybe the Hyde injures their cat and then they just go out and beat the crap out of it and that is the exact moment Wednesday appears. Who knows.

/\__/\

(=^·^=)

(") (")__/

Cat.

Ah okay, I appreciate the clarification.

A Peaceful Life

Wednesday Addams X Male Kira Reader

To live a normal life, wasn’t in your deck of cards unfortunately

I am so sorry it took this long to finish this! But we’re here!

Wednesday had been in a bit of a slump, not sure on how to continue her investigation into the Gates, the school itself or anything of that nature. It seems that the mystery has finally eluded her. Wednesday was in the quad sitting by herself looking though book after book of any sort of information to assist her with the Gates, but nothing came to mind, it was Enid to instructed her to one person; Mr Kira.

(Y/n) Kira, Better known as “Kira.”, was a student in Nevermore just like Wednesday. Quiet, Kind, and a bit of a Shut in, your classic personality. Wednesday took note of his schedule and decided to pay him a visit as he exited the Cafe in Jericho, Kira stepped out, and looked around as he felt a bit of unease. It was rectified by a meow. Looking down he spotted a beautiful charcoal Bengal Cat.

“Well, how are you?” He said with a smile, the cat putters off and he follows, following the beautiful, whimsical animal. Turning into an alley he followed, unbeknownst to him, Wednesday was as well. As she watched, she saw him kneel down to look at the cat, and unfortunately he let his guard down. The ruffle of trash bags alerted him, turning quickly he caught a hard punch to the face. The impact and him to the ground and in a daze for a moment.

Opening his eyes to the sound of shuffling he looked to his side his backpack was emptied, full into the trash and muddy water, sadly ruining his biology project. A disgusting old man was shuffling though his things and sees the boy wake up. Kira stood up, feeling blood trickle out his nose, his mercy was wore thin. The creep drew a makeshift knife, he looked dazed, out of it.

“Just gimmie your wallet kid.” He wheezed, but still had this unnerving smell. Kira calmly reached into his pocket and grabbed a coin, and flipped it over to the old man. He caught it. “This can’t be! Gimmie the fuckin rest!” He said with a straight face. (Y/n) wipes the blood from his nose, and spoke in a very.. calm tone for a boy who was just punched.

“That’s a dollar coin, they’re rare… that’s your incentive to leave, I recommend you take it.” He says, but the man grips the coin and prepared to stab the young man, and Kira began to.. speak.

“My Name is (Y/n) Kira, I’m currently 17, I reside like most students in Nevermores Boys Dorm. As per usual I’ve yet to marry and am single. I attend my classes with zero punctuation on being late or tardy, no write ups, no suspension. I am very peculiar about my grades and lifestyle, after a long day of class I spend most of it by myself, ready or watching the local cats of our school. I always in bed by 8 PM to get the maximum hours of sleep, before I rest I drink a class of warm milk and stretch to decompress after school.”

“Why.. why are you telling me this?” The man’s hand was shaking, fear entering his voice, but (Y/n) was as calm as ever. But a dark, sinister aura began to emulate from his body, something Wednesday saw. It was as if pure evil had manifested from his body, given form.

“I’ve done everything in my power to live a calm and simple life, everything I do I plan meticulously to avoid an unexpected change. This may be a foreign concept, but I could truly care less about the concepts of winning and losing, rather enjoy my life to what I am capable of. That is how I cope with my life, is what brings me happiness.. it if I ever were to engage in something like this.. I would win with little effort..” (y/n) monologues, and that sinister aura transforms into a being that resembles A monstrous cat, with power beyond what this man could comprehend.

“You sir, have made me lose my biology homework, I simply cannot allow that to continue, and it seems you won’t take my offering of peace willingly.. so it seems there’s only truly one discourse left.. I will eradicate you, no one will remember you, nobody will find your body.. this, is Killer Queen.” (Y/n) holds up his hand, like a detonator for a bomb. With one smash of his thumb, Wednesday watches in a mix of delight and surprise as the man explode in a scream of gutteral pain and fear, and as if he never existed, nothing was left. (Y/n), after murdering someone, calmly picks up his belongings and went back to school, Wednesday quickly hides behind a bush to avoid detection. She seems to have caught a break in her case, or found the final nail in her coffin. Serial killers attempt to kill away from the public, the only way to get his cooperation is to force him in a public setting. And Wednesday waited for her opportunity which came the next day.

Sitting in the Quad center, Kira penciled notes down to remember for Biology, he felt a presence darken his mood and looked up, Wednesday Addams, in the living, or dead.

“Hello, you must be.. Wednesday correct?” He asked, she kept that unnerved demeanor.

“Yes, (Y/n) Kira. May I sit?” She asked, Kira shrugged and nodded, his eyes noting her, pale hands. As Wednesday sat across from him, he kept writing, ignoring her presence for the most part.

“I’m doing a thesis on, serial killers.” Wednesday began, “And I wanted to hear your thoughts on my findings.” She explained, (Y/n) looked up.

“I.. suppose.” He placed his pencil down and sat attentively, Wednesday reveals a notebook and things she’s written down.

“Something ive noticed about Killers all of them have some unique qualities, be it their victims, killing style, or or method. What I find most interesting is their, blending.”

“Blending?” (Y/n) raised an eyebrow.

“Yes.. you see in order to remain under the eye, Killers tend to blend in with their environment, to seem normal. Or to seem normal in the place they’re in, like a high schooler in a boarding school. He’d present himself as a normal student, wouldn’t stand out too much to avoid being seen in a, Light.”

(Y/n)’s smile slowly faded, it was silent in the quad between them, and Wednesday continued.

“If you were a serial killer, I think you’d do your best to not stand out, keep your head down, and be meticulous about everything to avoid you being noticed, but if some drugged man were to attack you in an alley, you could defend yourself.. couldn’t you?”

(Y/n) and Wednesday stared at each other, his murderous glare compared to her stalwart gleam. (Y/n) looked ready to take the pencil and stab her, but saw the students around and took a less lethal approach.

“You saw that? That’s unfortunate… I’m not a serial killer, that was my first and hopefully only, he didn’t give me much of an option to run or escape. Although I suppose that doesn’t matter.. there’s no trace of him, no evidence that I even did anything.” (Y/n) replied, and looked at Wednesday hands.

“But.. I have a question, why does it pertain to you? I doubt you knew him, unless you want to seek out some social justice.”

“No.. Enid recommended you.” Wednesday replies.

“For what?”

“I need help with.. an issue that you could assist me in.”

“.. You want me to make someone disappear?” He asked calmly, she shook her head. “No, not yet.. but that could be useful in the future. You’re smarter than most here and I need your killer instincts to help me with this mystery.. about me, and it seems there’s another killer among us.”

“Was that a joke? You do have a sense of humor.” (Y/n) smiles, but Wednesday keeps her calm Demeanor.

“Okay.. I’ll help, I suppose I’m exchange you won’t ruin my peaceful life.”

“That’s the deal.” She said, (Y/n) nods reluctantly.

“Then I suppose we must shake on it.” (Y/n) sighs and offers his hand, Wednesday shakes it and she attempts to stand up.

“I suppose as partners we should know each others strength and Weaknesses.” He said, and smiled. “Mine, is that I can make anything I touch into a bomb, like your hand I just shook.” He said with a hushed smile, Wednesday slowly looks at her hand and back to him. The boy laughs and stands up.

“But.. I don’t wanna do that to you, you’re.. actually pretty cool. So I will help you, because if there’s someone else killing, the peace I seek won’t end until they are.. I’ll be seeing you turn Miss Addams.” He said, Wednesday reluctantly stood up and walked away, (Y/n) gently tilted his head to the side.

“Man… what a Killer Queen..”

[noussommescruels]

Did you figure it out ?

You’re freshly out of the shower, a little cold, droplets running from your wet hair. You can’t avoid getting drenched, not matter how hard you try. 

Mingi sits next to you, his long limbs at odd in your small studio, on your even smaller sofa bed.

I never wanted to say that to you, or do that to you, you know ?

He sounds sad, regretful. Tired. You guys played this over and over again. You always focus on your own pain, you wonder how this all feels to him, if he’s relived, at least, that it seems to be over. 

You nod. 

You didn’t know, either, you never realized until yesterday. 

You were almost asleep when suddenly everything made sense and everything went suddenly… quiet in your mind. 

An epiphany. 

A piece of a puzzle slotting in perfectly, letting you see the whole picture. 

You tried. You tried bringing it up but now that you know, now that you understand…

He reaches out to hold your hand, but it’s as if he can’t reach you anymore, you two are on two different planes, not yet connected, not yet together. 

Can you tell me at least ? Who said that ? 

"The first guy I slept with", you answer, "used me and ditched me to go back to his ex. I was 17. He was 23. When he broke up with me, he told me that if he had known, he would not have slept with me. "

You remember the words as if they were spoken yesterday. 

And you never realized it was haunting you ?

You shake your head. 

Who am I, then ? Wooyoung sits at your feet. He doesn’t look at angry as you remember. Not as mean. 

It’s weird seeing him here, you guys are never in your small flat, that’s not how the usual stories go.

"My dad, maybe. My ex. I was never enough for them to love me the way I needed to be loved. They expected me to always be there, no matter the pain. They wanted a doll, they were not interested in the real me."

I would never do that to you.  Wooyoung pouts, chin on his knees. He looks so calm and so young, a far cry from the angry sarcastic men you remember from last time.

"I know", you answer. You feel so tired, so out of your depth. 

Is it why I never stay ? You hear Yeosang’s voice but you don’t turn to watch him. You can feel the tears trying to escape from your eyes, and you know he’s not feeling any better. I always want to stay, but you always make me choose someone else. 

"You’re all the past friends", you tell him, a tear escaping, "the people who promised to be there but vanished. The empty words and broken promises. You’re the warmth given and taken away." 

Who said these awful words to you ? Jongho sounds a little lost, almost as lost as you feel. He sits close to Mingi, but leans over so he can try and catch your eyes. 

"Is it important ? My family. Life. Society. Men in bars. Men and women alike. After a while you just… become these words. It doesn’t matter who I really am. I’ll always be my body first." 

Is that why I can’t never love you enough ? Seonghwa wraps himself around you, soft hair, soft bread, soft skin. Why no matter what, our story always ends in tears ? Why I can’t ever be on time, say the right thing when it could save you. 

It’s why I can’t win. Hongjoong doesn’t ask. He sighs but stands still, studying you closely, one hand in his hair. It’s why no matter what I do or say, it always ends up in tears. Our stories are all written in advance, no matter what.

It’s why you don’t let me get close. San smiles, and stays away, closer to the windows, to your plants and your cute plushie he holds close to his chest, making it wave at you. His smile is so gentle, almost hopeful. I could love you, and it could be simple. And it scares you. That’s why I’m not in your stories. Why you keep me away. 

"It terrifies me", you whisper. "You all terrify me."

We could all love you. But you need to let us. 

You’re not sure who’s whispering, you just feel so warm.

Safe. What a foreign concept.

"Are you ready to let me ?"

[galaxynajma]

can you explain that character to me :3

OMG ANON sorry for the super late reply

Originally when I got this ask I was planning on talking about Kaiser ( since he’s the character I’m most insane about) but more specifically some ideas for his backstory

But then the leaks for chapter 260 came out that actually had his backstory in it

So I was super distracted with that and forgot about this

But then the leaks for chapter 261 came out and now that we almost have all the pieces I think it’s time I answer this :)

Kaiser Kaiser Kaiser … where do I even begin

Since chapter 260 and 261 it makes understanding Kaiser so much easier

I already touched on how Kaiser feels about physical touch here and here but what about emotional intimacy?

Well Kaiser definitely does not take kindness well

It’s a foreign concept to him

Which makes sense since Kaiser has never felt the warmth of love from anyone before

His mother was said to have left him shortly after his birth and we all seen the way his father was acting

And it’s obvious Ray Dark didn’t really try to act much

Kaiser jumped straight into the idea of manipulating someone to be his teammate instead of you know .. being kind to people

Now here comes the hard question. Does Kaiser actually care for Ness

I think yes . In Kaiser’s very own way deep down he does

Did Kaiser’s and Ness’s relationship start out fake? Definitely but I think over time Kaiser grew fond of Ness

Unless Kaiser is a great actor like his mom i doubt that he can fake a genuine smile like this

And then there’s this scene

Could Kaiser be lying through his teeth to better manipulate Ness? While that could be a possibility I doubt it

But what the hell does Kaiser mean when he says he was a mentally weak person?

Does Kaiser mean that when he was still a child?the youngest I can see Kaiser being here is 17 and we didn’t see him struggle like that in the early panels chapter 261

Almost all the times Kaiser’s dad has ever acknowledged him was either with physical or verbal abuse so it makes sense that’s the way Kaiser would respond to the closest person he has to him 

Ness was born into a family that didn’t give that much of a shit to him . His siblings bully him for just being a child for just being himself while his parents turn him a blind eye to it and call Ness the childish one 

Ah yes because how dare a child have a imagination how dare a kid to have childhood wonder

That’s probably the reason why Ness is so attached to Kaiser … he’s probably Ness’s first closest friend..

That’s why Ness panicked when Kaiser was giving more attention to Isagi of all people

It’s interesting to see all the different ways abuse can affect a person. Kaiser is such a complex and fascinating character

This isn’t all of my thoughts about him but I don’t want this to get too long and I want those thoughts to be their own posts

Anyways. Kaiser therapy arc when?

[dark-elf-writes]

So to ramble-recap the My Hero Creed fusion concept:

Assassins and Templars are a thing. Pieces of Eden and Isu are. Abstergo is a thing, potentially defunct (or their Animus project research group at least) by the time Desmond reaches Japan. The Solar Flare was stopped but Desmond survived using the Eye and its not clear if anyone tried taking credit or if people were like "okay that was weird but we're good and hey why's a bunch of people (Templars) hiding in fallout shelters BEFORE the flare hit what the hell did you do". Eagle Vision either doesn't count as a quirk or maybe it does because Quirks Are Bullshit and the "cult commune" Assassins just NOPED out of reporting who had a "quirk" because the Templars are in the government NOPE.

AFO has or is about to get a Piece. Going by the Nomu hunting Desmond likely knows something about the Templar/Assassin war (although how much is unclear). Eraserhead is hunting the apparently false charges terrorist not-villain who some high up in Abstergo likely claimed was an cultist assassin who murdered one of their lead researchers. Which considering Humarise might be a thing if the movies are canon is a whole other pack of worrying statements.

Eraserhead has at the very least Midnight and Present Mic in cahoots in catching the "weird foreign maybe-vigilante maybe-secret agent". Nedzu knows a lot about "Subject 17" from his own illegal hacking and independent research but it's unclear if he bothered to tell them yet, if only to keep them from Freaking Out Desmond with their knowledge. Going by the run-ins it is possible that Desmond has been in Japan longer than a month, but no shorter than a week.

And Desmond picks up Izuku as a not-assassin student pinning the concept's events taking place about a year before Izuku starts at U.A. High. Which... raises questions on how often the Nomu are sent after Desmond or if they're less "brain exposed Nomu" and more like those Vigilante Bomber/Anonymous things which were a thing about a year to three before Izuku is on the rooftop. Aizawa's not gonna be happy if he hears those things are still around. Or have something like them but more 'creative' if they are Nomu-Nomu. AFO is wasting/risking a lot to get Desmond which means he KNOWS the value that Desmond is ("quirk", arm, blood...).

Also the concept gravitates to Desmond/Aizawa. Not sure if Desmond/Aizawa/Hizashi but definitely Desmond/Aizawa. And Nedzu apparently ships Aizawa/Desmond.

The concept of Desmond having a quirk all along that he either didn’t know about/never really talked about becuase of being trained on the farm to never give information to anyone is really funny whether that is eagle vision or more hilariously something that makes him more susceptible to Isu tech/seeing ghosts/etc.

As for timeline wise it will probably extend from the year before Izuku is accepted into UA through canon (I mean non animus reliant training and funded pieces of Eden at best based off of a map/memories/etc centuries out of date takes time) so while Des might not be hunted by Nomu at the start he is certainly hunted by several heroes who see him as a sort of odd vigilante/a civilian that NEEDS TO STOP JUMPING OFF OF BUILDINGS. The Nomu come later after he has foiled a few plans up to and possibly including yoinking at least one piece of Eden out from under AfO’s lack of a nose.

I’m definitely leaning towards Aizawa/desmond for this one. There’s just something about a grumpy tired and feral tired together that is incredibly compelling to me. Well that and “flirting through the most extreme game of tag” is also very funny

[loveclub24]

About You

I’ve realized the only way I can get myself to actually write is by using this blog (I mean... let’s hope it works. It’s working today at the very least, so I’ll take it.) So, from now on, I’m going to use this as my personal journal. I don’t think anyone will ever even read this blog, which honestly is the point, because I’m going to be baring my soul. I realize that the last few years, I haven’t done enough self-reflection - as in, not much journaling, writing, reflecting, etc. Or at least reflecting in the way that I usually would. I really want to try to change that and maybe “blogging” will help me. 

Earlier today, my therapist told me that tonight I should light a candle and do a little bit of journaling, so I’m going to try doing that now. I lit one of my pumpkin candles that is truly at the end of its life, and I’m sitting in my cozy living room with string lights on on a rainy day. It really is a perfect scene. I have my headphones on, listening to the 1975, which is actually the inspiration for the title of this post. 

Something I’ve been really reflecting on lately is that it has been almost 10 years of being a die-hard 75 fan. I was freshly 18 when I started listening to their Self-Titled album, and now I’m ~almost~ 27 years old. God, that is so crazy to type. My 18 year old self would think that I’m old as fuck, but that's the funny thing about growing up - isn’t it. 27 is not nearly as old as you think its going to feel when you’re a teenager. Anyways, Being Funny in a Foreign Language (BFIAFL) came out a few weeks ago, and I’ve truly been in such a nostalgic tizzy ever since. I can’t stop listening to the goddamn band, and I can’t stop thinking about how much I’ve grown as a person since I started listening to them. 

About You, one of the songs from BFIAFL that seems to be a favorite for hardcore 75 fans, is an answer to Robbers, one of the most iconic songs from self-titled era. The moment I discovered this (as in, read it on the genius notes on Spotify when I first listened to the album), I about lost my fucking mind because I knew I was about to go on a deep dive into “The Tumblr Era” that we’ve so affectionally called 2014-ish. Robbers is about a toxic relationship, a Bonnie and Clyde sort of story. It’s that kind of relationship that is easy to idolize in our younger years - we want the highs, the lows, the pain, the strife - and we want to romanticize it all. That is Robbers - its about a relationship that isn’t healthy, it doesn’t work, but it is ~aesthetic~ as fuck. And honestly, I’m not even a person who was super into romanticizing those kind of relationships in my younger years. I definitely had my fair share of them, but I think I knew what I was looking for - which was stability, slow, soft love. But still, there is something about our youth that makes us prone to a special yearning for the chaos (and perhaps, this yearning always lingers with us even in our adult year, i.e. now....). 

But, all to say, when I first listened to About You, I was focusing on this concept of it being a response to Robbers. Do you think I have forgotten about you? Matty sings repeatedly throughout the song. I miss you on the train / I miss you in the morning / I never know what to think about (I think about you). It is simple to take this fucking gorgeous song, About You, and see it within the confines of this relationship - how this person has never forgotten about this relationship. Even though it didn’t work, it still holds so much significance to this person. No, they have not forgotten about it. God... even that, just fucking hurt me when I first listened to it. I pictured myself being 17 again, and pictured each person I’d loved, lost, hated, fucked, throughout the past decade of my life and how each of these people were a part of my story, apart of my life, no matter how small. I know a place / it’s somewhere I go when I need to remember your face. It’s this simple reassurance of no, I have not forgotten about you and I still think about you sometimes. 

But what is truly beautiful about this song is that it is not a resolution, it’s not a perfect ending of the story of two lovers who keep missing each other. It is almost an acceptance, a raw, real one, of the fact that this relationship can’t work, and these two lovers aren’t meant to be. It may slightly romanticize this time in life, but the resolution of this song is that even if they won’t ever be together, they still haven’t forgotten about that person, that relationship, that friendship (whatever it may be) and they acknowledge the impact it made on their life (for better, for worse, for apathy, for chaos... whatever). And sometimes, that is enough closure in itself. 

However, a few more listens of this song later, I realized that the real significance of this song laid far beyond the confines of understanding it in terms of the “relationship” story that was being told. This song was a love letter to the fans, a love letter to the people that have grown up with this band, a love letter to each person who listens to it. Do you think I have forgotten about you? I instantly pictured myself - 18 years old - after having had my heart absolutely shattered by my high school boyfriend. I remember listening to self-titled in my car, eating fray, feeling so heartbroken yet so excited that I had found a record that resonated with me in a way so wholly that this one did. I remember graduating high school, I remember the summer before college, I remember going on late night drives with my best friends, I remember moving across the country for college and making new friends. This song isn’t just about remembering a dysfunctional relationship that was romanticized at the time, it was about remembering the person I was at the time and how I am still that person. God, when I realized that, I sobbed for so long. 

Sometimes, when I get caught up in the mundanity of every day life, I forget who I was when I was 18. Who I was when I went to a music festival for the first time and danced with my friends and felt pure joy; who I was when realized I was going to college and that everything was going to change. So, thank you to the 1975 for growing with me for the past (almost) 10 years of my life and for making music that I’ve been able to connect with in a way I never imagined I would. Thanks for witnessing all my fuck-ups, triumphs - the good, the bad, the ugly. Your music was there for all of it, and thank you for writing an album that is such an ode to our years together. I hadn’t actively thought about my teenage self for so long, and now I’m going to make an effort to remember her as often as I can. She had no idea what was in store for her - college, heartbreak, a pandemic, insomnia, jobs that caused her to lose herself, love, the best friends in the whole world, the best family in the whole world. I’m so grateful for it all. 

Also, one thing I want to add. Sometimes I feel slightly embarrassed about how much of a fangirl I am about this band, and have cringed at myself a few times even while writing this just now. But, I just want to reiterate for myself that being passionate is amazing, and so much fun. I’ve really felt a renewed sense of passion and enjoyment in the past few weeks during this 1975 heavy phase in my life. So here am I to say FUCK what everyone thinks... I’m going to write about how much I love this motherfucking band if I want to. 

[purpleyoonn]

the Little Fox Ch. 16

“The idea of being free was a foreign concept. Being free meant having choices, having opportunities. Being a hybrid meant never being free.”

Summary: Just as you escaped the Little Fox, a bidding house, you find yourself at war with your thoughts, not wanting to go to another shelter. You didn’t expect yourself to find a home anywhere, especially not with the men who found you, and their pack.

Pairing: eventual polyBTS x hybrid reader

Genre: hybrid au!, fluff, angst, poly, mentions of abo, slowburn, eventual smut

Status: Ongoing

Word count: 6.0k

Warnings: insecurities, anxiety, past abuse, past sexual abuse, mentions of rape/noncon, some violence, mentions of violence, smut.

Warnings for this Chapter: violence, non con/sexual assault, rape scene, mentions of blood, bad language, bad memories, death, major character death

Masterlist // Chapter 15 // Chapter 17

———————————————————

Previously on the Little Fox:

You watched Jungkook’s head fall to the ground, a sob leaving your lips as you cried. The two men who busted in were now walking towards you and Jimin, hands raised. You shook your head, pushing Jimin behind you. You could smell your mates fear, Jungkook laying in a pool of blood and knocked out from the blow to his temple.

Only a second later, one of the men lunged towards you, grabbing you by your arm and hauling you up into his arms, your fists and legs hitting him as you thrashed in his hold.

“Jimin run!” You yelled, hopefully alerting your mates downstairs of the attack. Jimin looked at you, wanting to stay with you, but he knew he wouldn’t be able to help. Before the second man could lunge, Jimin began to run to the door, his legs making distance between him and the attacker.

He was about to open the door when it was shoved open, Yoongi and Namjoon’s pupils black as they ran in. Growls rang throughout the room as they saw one of the men jump out the window, the second about to follow with you in his arms, still fighting.

You move to bite the man’s arm, sinking your teeth into his arm. You hear a cry of pain before you are tossed form the window. A scream leaving your lips as you fly through the air, landing in the second man’s arms. He starts running into the trees. You look back to see Yoongi jumping from the window before your vision is blocked and a pinch is felt in your neck.

“You were just supposed to knock her out not hurt her! She could be in a fucking coma and we would never know! Do you see the bruise on her precious skin? Only I’m allowed to mark her skin!” You hear through the depths of your subconscious, you could feel your ears were swiveling, trying to identify where the sound was coming from.

The scent of cigars reaches your nose, making you alert and terrified. You try hard to remember what happened, flashes of teeth and fists moving throughout your vision. You let out a small whine once you feel the heavy weight against your wrists and ankles. 

Small tears fall down your cheeks as you wince, the memories coming back. The feeling of being tied up bringing you back to the many nights you spent in room 62.

“I want you out of here. I need to be the first person she sees when she wakes up. I did too much to get her back to me and I will not have you or anyone else ruining it.” You can hear Red speak, his voice leveled only in the way he voices when he is angry or impatient. 

Footsteps move quickly, then a door opens and closes, your only hope of getting out of here about twenty feet to the right if you counted correctly.

“Foxxyyyy, it’s time to open your eyes…I know you’re awake, darling.” You squeeze your eyes shut even more, refusing to open your eyes and see the monster from your dreams up close.

“I don’t know why you thought you could escape from me that easily my love.” You feel his clammy hand rub your cheek, down to your jaw. His movements trying to be soft, trying to coax you to open your eyes, but you knew better. Just as quickly as he moved against you, he was gripping your jaw hard, his thumbs bruising your skin as he turns your head to face him. The shock from his grip forcing your eyes open.

“There’s those beautiful big doe eyes.” His grip on your jaw never loosens as he looks over your face. His other hand, however, makes its way down your neck, roaming you’re your shoulders and trailing down your arms before making its way back to your neck.

You shudder as his fingers trail itself around your mating mark. An angry groan making its way past Red’s lips as he sees your visceral reaction to your mark. His grip on your jaw moves to your neck, becoming impossibly tight as you now struggle to gasp for air.

“You should have known better than to let that mangy cat mate with you. You are mine. You are mine to mark. Mine to mate. Mine to touch however I wish.” His hand that was on your shoulders slowly moves to grip your breast, a painful whine leaves your lips as he squeezes it in his rough hands.

You try to do anything and everything in your power to get him off of you, using your gained weight to maneuver him off the bed. A loud thunk is heard as he hits the ground. You can’t help but want to grin, proud that one of the tricks that Jungkook had shown you actually worked.

“Now remember, your hips are one of the strongest parts of your body.” Jungkook says, laying down on the ground and motioning for you to climb on top of him. You shift nervously, not understanding what he was trying to say.

Once the threats from Red had shown up at the hospital, Jungkook had taken it upon himself to try and teach you some of the self-defense moves he had taught his previous owner’s daughter.

“C’mon baby, no one will get hurt I promise you. This is only a trick I want to teach you in case someone gets on top of you and you need to get them off.” He reassures you, holding his hand out for you as you climb on top of him.

Resting on his hips, he moves to grip your hands.

“Okay baby. I want you to try and hold me down, like this.” He moves his hands, that still grip onto yours, above his head. “Now, move your legs so that the rest outside of my hips.” You do as he says, moving your legs to that your full weight his resting on his hips.

“That’s it. Now, when someone has you held down like this, you can use your own body against them. The person will be vulnerable, as their weight will be used to try and hold you down.” You nod, trying to take this seriously, hoping you will never have to use this.

“Their weight will be spread unevenly between their arms and their lower body. More of their weight, if they are trying to keep you immobile on the ground, will be in their arms. This is where your hips come in.” Your eyes furrow in confusion as you are soon jolted to the side, Jungkook now on top of you with a small grin on his face. He laughs loudly at the pout on your lips, moving to steal a quick kiss before pulling away.

“Now baby, in this position, if you are able to, you need to try and get your feet flat on the ground. This will give you support to move quickly. Once you’ve accomplished that, you need to tilt your hips,” Jungkook says while his hands move to your hips, tilting them into the correct position before moving his hands back to hold your wrists above your head. 

“This will help you to center your weight. Once you have done this, you can try to buck the person off of you. To do this, you need to buck either to the left of you, or to the right. This will set their body off center, and they will fall off you.”

You try to do what he says, moving your hips up and to the right, throwing you weight into the move a couple of times before you are finally able to throw him off of you. A small squeal of delight leaves your lips as you finally manage to complete the move.

Jungkook claps, a grin on his face as he watches you celebrate your small win.

Despite wanting to smile, your face quickly becomes pale as you watch Red slowly get up from his spot on the ground, his lips turned downwards in anger as he stalks forward to your spot on the bed.  You watch as his hand raises and makes contact with your face, your head whipped to the side from the impact of his palm against your cheek.

Your face burned as you fell back against the bed, his body now on yours as you struggle to gain your bearings. His anger is palpable as he watches you, his own handprint standing out against your skin.

“Now, I don’t know who taught you that, but their dead. An omega should never fight against their mate. I thought I trained you better than this, hmmm?” A ripping sound is heard throughout the room as he tears your shirt off your abdomen, his nails scratching into your skin as he moves.

Taehyung’s shirt is now in shreds, scattered on the floor. Your eyes water as you look at the cloth, almost forgetting Red’s hands creating a trail on your stomach and moving south. You start to buck your hips again, hoping to make Red loose his balance against you as his hands try to get a grasp on your leggings.

“Stay. Still.” Red mutters out before hitting you again, giving him a good couple seconds to remove your stupid clothing. Everything was in his way from claiming you again, and he was not tolerating it.

Not even a second after your leggings were ripped from your skin, your underwear followed. Now bare against the bed, Red takes a seat back and admires you. It has been far too long since he has since you so bare in front of him, his very own canvas waiting to be marked up for his viewing pleasure.

He quickly moves his hands to your core, spreading you open and moving his fingers to your opening. A whine of discomfort leaves your lips as he inserts two fingers. You try to move away from him, but you can only move so far when your ankles are handcuffed to the bed posts.

Red moves his fingers in and out of you, his pleasure rising as he watches you squirm against him, in what he thinks is pleasure. Groaning, he brings his lips to your clit and begins to lick the betrayal of slick leaving your body.

“See baby, I knew you missed me.” Red says as he moves back to watch his fingers move. He sees the tears on your face as a sign of the pleasure he was bringing you, instead of the disgust and terror they truly represented. You shake your head, whispering “no” over and over again at the sound of him unbuckling his belt.

You couldn’t help but feel as though you were betraying Yoongi, despite the fight you were making. Your own omega didn’t see it that way; feeling that you were mating with someone else. Someone unfortunately familiar.

Red kissed up your body, leaving a trail of saliva as he began to push himself into you. A cry left your lips at the unwanted entry, his own pleasure clouding his brain. Despite this, you still tried to get him off you, kicking your legs against his own, pushing his shoulders away from you. Nothing worked as Red was too lost to feel anything but your warmth surrounding his dick.

At the feeling of him cumming, you can’t help but release your grip on him, your fight leaving your body as he does the one thing you were trying to prevent. You stare off into the distance, cold tears trailing down your cheek and neck as you feel the weight of his body leaving yours.  You squeezed your eyes shut, trying not to imagine the look of disappointment on the packs face, their scent now completely erased form your body.

NO! you thought. They would not be disappointed with you, they would know you would try and fight back. They would want you to do anything you could to not become entangled in Red’s hold again. A new sense of urgency began to stem form your abdomen, your mate mark burning as you tried to come up with different ways to fight.

Instead of Red using your body against you, you would use his against him. You knew his weak spots, but you were always to scared to do something against him. Now, now you didn’t care. You would rather die than be under his possession again.

You needed to get back home to your mates.

-*-*-

After chasing his pleasure, he left the room, not even bothering to cover himself up. He left you tied to the bed, nothing new, as he wanted to have access to you whenever he wished.

With his cum dripping onto the sheets, you tried your best to remember everything Jungkook had taught you. He had listened intently when you had first told your story to them, taking notes of all the ways Red would keep you in submission. Noticing that Red preferred handcuffs to rope, he did his best to teach you how to remove the articles.

One such way was to elongate your nails, using those to trick the locking mechanism into unlocking. This was the only thing you had truly mastered.  Knowing you could do this act in your sleep, you didn’t do anything yet, trying to save your energy and remember Red’s weaknesses.

Looking over to the window, you could just barely make out the sun rising above the trees. The last thing you remember was watching a movie with Jungkook, Taehyung, and Jimin before dinner, begging Taehyung to get you more popcorn. Now, with the sun rising, you knew you had to have been gone for more than sixteen hours, seeing as the sunrise was scheduled to happen at around 6:42 am.

You struggled to blink away the forming tears, knowing that this man didn’t deserve your tears. At this point, you couldn’t wait any longer, you needed to leave while he assumed you were down.

Using your nails, you were able to maneuver them into the lock opening, the handcuffs falling off your wrist to the bed. Sitting up, you stretch out your back, not wanting to risk anything. Setting your sights on the cuffs holding down your ankles, you easily removes those too.

You struggle a little bit in getting off the bed but succeed just as you hear footsteps becoming louder. Your eyes widen, heartbeat becoming faster as you start to panic, eyes scouring for some kind of a weapon you could use. You look around, knowing anything bigger than a vase would tip the person off of your escape. Finally noticing a small glass lamp on the bedside table, you lunge for it, removing it from the wall and holding it against your chest.

You settle yourself against the wall, your body angled towards the door so you could be aware of anyone coming or going from the room. Your heartbeat is felt in your throat as you wait for the door to open, the knob being turned slowly, the person probably assuming you were asleep.

Tiptoeing to the space behind the door, you watch as someone enters slowly, some kind of paper in his hands as he turns the small corner to the bed. Quickly turning back around the boy sees your tense form behind the now closed door. Taking this as your chance, you hit the man over the head with the lamp, watching as his body falls to the floor. The papers in his hand scattering across the floor.

Curious, you reach out for the paper, turning it over to see a picture. Your body quickly goes into shock, your hands shaking as you try to keep from vomiting. You stumble to the bed, catching yourself on the edge as you lower yourself down.

You bring you hand to cover your mouth, the image burning itself in your mind as you are unable to tear your vision away from the sight of a bloody Namjoon.

“Oh I see you are awake? Do you like my gift?” You turn your head to see Red, a grin on his face as he steps over the body of the boy, walking towards you. You kick yourself back, moving away from him as he climbs onto the bed. Getting out of the bed, you move to the nearest corner, as far away from him as you could get without moving past him.

“See, I thought that if those people were still alive, you would never accept me as your mate again. So, I thought, ‘Why not kill the people who stole you form me?’” You tried your best not to breakdown, your fight quickly leaving you at his words.

“You’re lying!” You growl out. He had to be lying, you would have felt their deaths.

“Am I?” Red throws the other images to you, watching as you fall to the ground at the sight of your pack bloody and some missing limbs. The one with the most done was Yoongi, his arms missing along with the mate mark from you carved out of his neck.

You sob loudly, the pain too intense as you come to the answer that your pack is dead. Your safety, your home, your mates gone. The ground catches you as you fall, throwing the images away from you.

Picking up the pictures, Red moves them into the trash bin before coming to pick you up. Your entire body lax as the desire to fight leaves your body. You had nothing left.

Laying your body back onto the bed, Red doesn’t even bother trying to tie you back up. His trick had worked; he knew the death of your pack would kill you, or at least, leave you moldable to his will. And he was right, you had no fight left as he removed his clothing.

You didn’t struggle against him as he moved his cock into your opening, groans leaving his lips as he picked up speed. You were lost to the world as you tried to block everything out, the image of Jimin and Jin missing their eyes was something you didn’t think you would ever get over.

If you hadn’t run away, you would have never been found by Jin and Jimin. If you hadn’t been found by them, then they would still be alive right now, probably cuddling in Jimin’s nest. You would never forgive yourself for being the reason behind their death.

Red moves to grip you neck for leverage, his thrust becoming deep and slow as he tries to last. With the way your head was tilted, he had full view of your mark.  Seeing red, he grips your neck tighter, his thumb pressing into your mark,

“As soon as we are done here, I’m gonna remove this blasted mark from your neck. I don’t need any reminder of the stupid animals who thought they could keep you from me.” At his threat, you head snapped to meet his eyes. 

Fire burnt in your abdomen as you cried out, immense anguish could be felt, even by Red, as your loud cry almost burst his eardrums. You couldn’t let him take your mark from you. You would not let him take the last thing you had of your mates from you.

Your omega rattled in your soul as you cried out, your call for help stopped by pressure against your windpipe.

“Don’t worry Foxy, once that mark is removed, you will be mine once again.” Red’s thrusts were hard and slow as he moved within you, your back burning as the old blanket underneath you rubbed against your skin.

The more he thrust against you, the tighter his grip on your neck became. Memories of you last night with him soared into your vision. How you were in a coma for three days before you woke up in Hyuk’s office, your neck almost completely black in the form of his grip.

You could feel he was close again, your body shaking.

“Please. Please don’t.” You repeated, unable to fight but not wanting him to finish in you. “No.” You whimpered.

You didn’t even hear the door breaking open, but a large growl managed to startle Red, his body moving to cover yours from sight. Looking around Red’s shoulder’s, you see Yoongi, his eyes black as he lunges for Red, throwing his body off yours and onto the ground. You tried to sit up, but the pain in your lower back prevented you from moving much.

You could hear the sound of grunts and skin on skin as you watched Yoongi move on top of Red, punching the skin out of Red. A presence caught you attention at the door, the sight of Namjoon making you freeze.

You had to be sleeping. There was no way that your alphas could be here right now. You had seen the images, their mutilated bodies. You were just really good at dreaming. That’s it. You had your eyes locked onto Namjoon, his form moving to your side as you tried to cover yourself with the blanket.

“Hey baby.” He moves onto the bed, his hands coming up to cradle your cheeks as he notices the tears pooling in your eyes. Your hands hold tight to the blanket, covering yourself form him. You couldn’t believe you eyes. He was here, in front of you. 

The scent of lavender catching your attention, making you question everything. How would you be able to smell him if he was gone? How could he be right in front of you, in great detail, if he was dead?

You couldn’t help but launch yourself into his arms, latching onto his shoulders and wrapping your legs around his waist. You could feel himself adjusting the blanket around you, covering you and holding you close.

“How do you like it, huh? You’re lucky I don’t string you by your intestines.” You hear Yoongi growl out, throwing punch after punch to the man underneath him. You could see Red fighting against Yoongi, struggling to get back to you.

“Get off me! She is mine! Her body belongs to me! She. Is. My. Foxy.” Red yells out, trying to move out from Yoongi and away from the onslaught of punches thrown his way. However, his words that made Yoongi even more upset. You watched as he nails gripped onto Red’s throat.

You were jostled as Namjoon stood up, moving towards the door. Namjoon knew better than to stay in the room with them as Red spoke. Despite his own desire to rip the man to shreds, he knew his mate needed him. Bringing you tighter into his arms, he quickly moved off the bed and towards the door. Your head was leaning against his shoulder as you watched Yoongi.

“No! You can’t take her away!” You heard Red speak as Namjoon walked to the open door.

“NO! She is mine!” You watched as Red struggled against Yoongi’s grip. Trails of blood began to leave him as Yoongi’s nails dug deeper into Red’s neck. At his last words, Yoongi had heard enough, quickly clenching his fist and ripping Red’s throat out.

The last thing you saw in the room was Red’s lifeless body his the ground with a thud, a whimper leaving your lips. From then on, it as like everything was moving too fast for your mind to keep track of. All you knew was that Namjoon was holding onto you, his scent pushed from his gland in the hopes of keeping you calm.

Sirens and yelling could be heard, hurting your head making you whimper. You could feel the loud growl from within Namjoon’s chest. You were adjusted in his grip as he holds you even tighter to his chest, protecting you from everything in his vision. You could vaguely hear the sound of your other mates, their scents numbing your anguish as you began to relax in Namjoon’s hold.

You feel Namjoon turn around before you are brought into Yoongi’s arms. Removing his shirt, Yoongi places the large garment over your naked body, throwing the blanket to the ground as he picks you up, his hands on the back of your thighs as he carried you in his arms towards the ambulance. He held you close as he mumbled praises into your ear, his cheek rubbing against your own, trying to remove the horrid scent of Red from your skin.

“You’re okay baby. I’ve got you now. You’re safe.” Yoongi whispered, repeating the praises as he moved slowly with you in his embrace, trying not to jostle you too much. You had tears streaming down you face, still unable to believe that they were alive, that they had found you.

You could feel people moving closer, tightening your grip on Yoongi, not wanting to be taken form him again. Taking the hint, Yoongi ignored the medics, instead sitting himself on the bed in the vehicle and moving you to sit on the bed so the men could have access to your wounds. But the sight of the unknown men frightened you even more, your body beginning to shake. Yoongi growled out in warning, not allowing the men to come near you. Soon though, you noticed two women in the same uniforms come forward; you felt safe enough to let them near you.

You could barely pay attention to what they were doing, Yoongi rubbing his cheek against your and scenting wherever he could reach. You loved the little kisses he placed on your shoulders and the back of your neck. Slowly, you were lulled into slumber, the sound of your mate purring the last thing you remember.

-*-*-

Bright lights fill your vision as you wake up, making you close your eyes again, squeezing them shut. You let out a small whimper before you notice the lights have been dimmed. Opening your eyes again, you see the teary-eyed smiles of your mates surrounding the bed.

You recognize the hospital as the one Jin works in. Seeing him, you notice he is wearing his uniform, the stethoscope hanging from his neck. The others were on either side of you, the bed unable to be seen from the amount of people cuddling against you. The only ones not in the bed were Yoongi and Jn, Yoongi choosing to sit next to you, holding your hand in his.

“Hi baby.” You look towards Yoongi, his hand held tightly against your own. You don’t even notice you are crying until Jimin moves to wipe his thumb against your cheek. The grip around your waist tightens. Looking down you see Jungkook looking up at you, his face bruised from trying to protect you.

You squirm in the bed, reaching for Jungkook. Quickly getting up, he moves into your arms, you hold each other tight. You sob into his chest, your hand moving to hold Jimin too.

“I’m so sorry.” You repeat against Jungkook’s chest, unable to stop apologizing. None of this would have happened if it wasn’t for you. Hobi could very easily tell where your though process was taking you.

“No. Don’t do that baby. None of this is your fault.” He looked at you, his heart breaking at the look of despair on your face. He noticed you whispering something, something that made Jimin whine and Jungkook hold you tighter.

“What was that baby?” He moved closer to you.

“I thought you were dead.” You whispered again; this time heard by everyone in the room. When asked to explain, you shook your head, refusing to even think about the images you saw. You just curled more into Jungkook’s chest, not moving as he maneuvered himself so he was laying on the bed and you were resting on his chest.

Jungkook looked towards Jin, raising his eyebrow and giving him a smirk, almost waiting for him to say something about him moving you from the bed. He smiled when Jin said nothing, just moving to look at your vitals.

Yoongi and Namjoon shared a look, concerned about why you had thought they were all dead. Namjoon clenched his fists, wondering what the hell that man told you, how he was able to convince you of this.

“Well baby, your vitals look great, you do have some bruising,” Everyone looks towards your neck and cheek, making you dig your face deeper into Jungkook’s chest. “And a couple of scratches along your chest.” That was news to you; you couldn’t remember how those had appeared.

“Other than that, I had to perform a rape kit.” You scrunched your eyes at this, never having heard of that before. Seeing this, Jin moved to explain, sitting on the chair that Yoongi was occupying.

“A rape kit is a tool for the investigators to capture any evidence left behind in the aftermath of a rape or sexual assault. As your mate, and your doctor, I was allowed to perform the exam. Given the situation, as the only one mated to you, Yoongi was allowed to give permission for the kit.” You look towards Yoongi, his eyes hardened on your form, almost recollecting the act he witnessed as he broke the door down.  You nodded towards Jin, letting him know it was okay.

You just didn’t have the energy anymore to speak, your eyes barely able to stay open as you listened to the beat of Jungkook’s heart, his chest moving up and down with every breath. You didn’t want to ever leave the embrace you were wrapped in, surrounded by your mates, their presence soothing the dark grasp on your soul into the shadows of the hospital room.

So, you rested there, in the arms of Jungkook, later joined by Hobi, Jimin and Taehyung as you waited for the okay to go back home. Namjoon had told you that they had the room cleaned, no evidence was visible of your kidnapping. You didn’t even react, almost in your own world, where nothing could harm you.

You didn’t even react when Yoongi changed you into the outfit of Jimin’s they brought from home, or when Jungkook picked you up, his hand cradling the back of your head as he held you. The walk out of the hospital was filled with camera crews and police officers trying to control the crowd.

A large following had appeared after you were found, some of the investigators from Red’s original case had gotten wind of you from someone at the station, causing hordes of camera crews and news stations hoping to catch sight of you. Unfortunately, there was only one entrance and exit to the hospital, causing Jungkook to hold you tight, the others surrounding you two as you walked out of the hospital, some security guards helping you all to the cars.

Once in the car, Jungkook didn’t even bother moving you into a seat, choosing instead to secure the seatbelt over your back, cradling your head to his scent gland. Jungkook was definitely the one who was taking your kidnapping the hardest. He just kept thinking he could have done more, tried harder to protect you. He could have, no, should have been able to keep you safe. It was what he was trained to do for goodness sakes. But he failed. He failed to protect you, failed to protect Jimin, and failed at his duty as a mate.

You snapped out of your daze when you felt something wet on your neck, and then heard the soft sniffles of Jungkook, trying to hold back his sobs as he held you closer. You moved your head back, looking at him. You brought your hands up to cradle his cheeks, brushing your thumb across his skin, wiping away his tears before bringing his face into your own scent gland, pushing out the sweet aroma of vanilla. You had already known Jungkook would feel this way; he took everything to heart, pushing himself to be more than he was perceived as, a lowly omega.

Despite knowing he was accepted fully by his mates, he still held the fear that one day they would get rid of him, his omega status was seen as something to be ashamed of his entire childhood and adolescence, so what is different now? He was scared for the day he would be kicked out of the pack for being an omega. 

He wasn’t your typical omega, he wasn’t small like Jimin, or caring and didn’t take on the role of caring and taking care of the pack like Jin. He didn’t like to nest as much and preferred to just lay in Jimin or yours. He was large and buff from his years of training, the opposite of what an omega was supposed to be.

But the look on your face as you brushed his tears away, the absolute love and adoration that shown through your eyes, made his own worries disappear, as if they never existed. He could feel the love coming off of you in iridescent waves as you pulled him into your shoulder, cradling his own head to your neck. Jungkook nosed at your neck, scenting every place he could reach through your large sweatshirt.

By the time you had arrived home, the both of you had calmed down, your hearts at peace for the time being. However, he still carried you into the house, not wanting to let go of you yet. Or ever again if he had his way. He followed the others, making their way straight to your room.

While you were out at the hospital, Yoongi and Jimin had come home to make sure your room left no trace of that had happened. Jimin had even remade a nest on your bed, gathering different blankets and clothing from everyone’s rooms. He had thought you would like to be surrounded by their scents, something familiar to you. He had spent almost two hours making your nest, ensuring it was perfect, not a single thing out of place. At the end, he made sure that the two plushies he and Yoongi had bought for you, your wolf and panther, were laid by your head, ensuring your protection.

Opening the door, the pack slowly walked in and stood around your bed, watching your expression as Jungkook stands sideways, your head resting against his shoulder, so you would be able to see your room.

Your eyes became glassy as you saw the nest on your bed, your plushies sticking out against the soft fabric of the blankets. Your looked immediately towards Jimin, knowing he had to have been the one who made the nest for you, remembering the time you asked him to teach you how to build one. A small smile graced your face as you motioned for Jungkook to let you down. Reluctantly, he complied, and watched as you stumbled your way to the bed, moving yourself over the edge of your nest and directly into the middle.

Once safe in the middle, you looked towards your mates, making grabby hands, wanting them to join you in your nest. There was no hesitation from your mates as they rushed to pick the best spot in your nest, next to you. Yoongi and Jin eventually resting next to you, Yoongi spooning you from behind as Jin held you to his chest. Jin, with you in his arms, safe and sound, decided that everything they needed to tell you could wait. 

Nothing was more important than having you in his arms once again.

[dmclemblems]

an extremely lengthy and massive deduction of Hopes Claude, feat. Faerghus politics and why Hopes Claude saw a slippery slide with its water on full blast and jumped on it without his summer Heroes alt or his swimsuit, causing all kinds of pain and suffering and grief, brought to you by i have nothing else to do except play more Hopes anyway.

so as some of you probably know I’m not a fan of Hopes Claude, but it does prove to me some things: Claude would only ever side with Edelgard in a world where he lacked proper knowledge about Fodlan.

the only chance in the entire world that he would even somewhat align with her goals is a world where he didn’t know what the fuck he was even actually getting himself into, was too young (19 versus 23), and had no idea how to handle foreign politics.

in a world where he does understand Fodlan, is not too young and is far more knowledge about the land’s politics, he sides with Dimitri (AM and intended to do so in all other routes) and does not want Rhea dead.

people are arguing that Claude entertained the idea of Rhea being dead in Houses; however, this only happened very briefly and during an earlier time in the Academy arc. He was 17/18, had not been in the Academy for a whole year yet, and was still extremely iffy and lacked knowledge about Fodlan’s politics and how the Church was part of them.

in a world where Claude grew into adulthood in Fodlan and was able to learn its culture and customs, he also understood that killing Rhea was not the answer and that no amount of bloodshed was going to solve the greater levels of problems.

it’s also worth noting that his trust in Dimitri between both games proves these points. in Hopes, we’re basically dealing with a stunted Fodlan growth Claude who was taken in by Edelgard’s bullshit because he was stressed out and tired of playing defensive against the Empire. he basically surrendered to her by making an alliance with her and just took her concepts about the Church and ran with them because he was tired.

he didn’t have the same trust in Dimitri because he didn’t know him as well, which is shown when he says he doesn’t understand what’s going on in  Dimitri’s head, versus in AM where he very, extremely understands Dimitri’s mindset to the most sensitive aspects of Dimitri’s behavior. how did he know that Byleth could talk to Dimitri and get him to listen? how did he know that Dimitri clung to the dead in the ways that he did? he knew those things because he knew Dimitri significantly better.

I see people saying that not having Byleth with Claude was why he ended up like this. that’s completely incorrect as proven by all three other routes in Houses. the main factor was his lack of being at the Academy for a full year and being able to have five years instead of two to learn and understand Fodlan’s political landscape.

the issue with Claude in Hopes is that he was basically thrown into a defensive war way sooner than he could handle. remember, Claude came from a life where he was a target for assassination repeatedly since for as long as he had any memories. he’s coming from a bad personal environment. on its own Almyra isn’t as bad as people in Fodlan see it as, but Claude’s own life was pretty terrible. couple that with literally running away from home without a word (only his mother knew about it as confirmed in Hopes with both Shahid and their father having no idea where he went and his father being distraught about it enough that he didn’t care that Shahid was causing mayhem in Fodlan) and the fact that he ran away to Fodlan and only had a few months at the Academy before things got messy enough that Rhea had to send everyone home.

then, take him running away from that horrible environment he lived in and couple it with the fact that he had two years there before Edelgard forced him into a war when he and the other lords of the Alliance did nothing whatsoever to her. he had, say, a total of two and a half years tops to get used to Fodlan before he got forced into a defensive war as a 19 year old. on top of that, whether or not you like Shez as a character, it’s not untrue that Shez is the one who planted the idea of overthrowing the Alliance into his head. even though they talked about it at the roundtable, Lorenz stated it was a VERY long discussion and from the sounds of it, it took a whole shit ton of convincing for Claude to be able to become its singular leader.

all of that culminated in what was essentially Claude’s bad ending, leading to him wanting to overthrow Fodlan and “take it for himself”, which as we know is nothing like Claude in Houses. imo all of these factors basically drove Claude to his worst mindset, where he would literally trap their supposed allies (Randolph’s army) and leave them to die, then only a bit more time passing before he declares war on the entirety of Fodlan.

not only is he basically exactly the same as Edelgard by this point, with both of them waging war on every single political power on the continent outside their own country, but Dimitri is the only one who wants nothing to do with it and is just trying to fix his own country while having to deal with the Church pressuring him (Rhea more specifically, because Seteth is far more mellow in his approach. Rhea is more along the lines of “we have to defeat them and kill these heathens” and Seteth is more along the lines of just wanting to make sure Rhea, Flayn and the Church are safe). Dimitri ends up with pressure on every single possible side: the Church, the Empire, the Alliance, and the civil wars in Faerghus that Cornelia and Rufus effectively caused. and, well, on top of all that, he’s got TWS to deal with, so... imo Claude really helped cause a bad ending/future for Fodlan by doing this. he’s basically assisted in helping destroy Fodlan.

what I’m saying is that TWS basically has Edelgard and Claude dancing on strings and helping them completely rip Fodlan apart. a younger version of Claude with less emotional attachment to Fodlan and less understanding of its inner workings is basically no better than Edelgard in being perfect bait for TWS to use and abuse.

tbh, TWS might have actually succeeded in wiping out Fodlan entirely if not for Faerghus and how loyal and emotional its leaders are. while the Alliance and Empire are having a vicious war that leads to Claude descending into the mess we saw in Hopes, Dimitri is stuck between dealing with the Empire and Cornelia, gets captured and is about to give up his life so his people don’t get killed (because Cornelia was using them as mass hostages essentially and was going to kill as many of his people as possible with TWS’ weaponry).

the only reason that didn’t happen is because Felix, who is in charge of the army in Dimitri’s absence, and everyone assisting him drop what they’re doing in the war, leave the defenses to Miklan and head out to save Dimitri. in GW/SB we don’t hear much from the Kingdom because for a chunk of chapters they’re dealing with their own issues, which also reduces the time Claude is exposed to seeing what Faerghus is like and learning that things are not as bad in Fodlan as Edelgard made them out to be. Faerghus is forced to be wrapped up in their own affairs and have no communication with the outside world because they have no chance to be.

the Faerghus part of Claude’s lack of knowledge that was extremely important and what Claude needed to know but didn’t that caused him to go down a slippery slope he couldn’t come back from:

“oh no crests and the system have taken over fodlan aaaaa” Faerghus has been trying to solve that for years and has been steadily and peacefully working to manage that, and it’s very clearly expressed in this game. while they were doing this in Houses too, it was less clear just how deeply into the subject they were going with it within their own leaders/powers. not only does Sylvain’s support with Dimitri discuss very in depth that they’ve been working on it and are still trying to in the middle of a war because it means so much to them, but the fact that Dimitri hired a non-Crest bearer to be a commander in his army is enough proof that they’ve made progress.

now while there was a minor shitshow of boo hoo how could you hire a former bandit as a commander, that had nothing to do with Crests! people were more concerned that Dimitri wasn’t being careful enough in who he hired because of background and history, but Dimitri’s decision was actually, wait for it, the correct answer. hiring someone who was disinherited for not bearing a Crest as a commander in his army was the proof that he hired based on strength, merit and potential. he also was willing to give people second chances and the only people who were aware of this internal concern were people more closely related to the Faerghus Four’s territory.

Seteth, in particular, has a good deal of faith in Miklan’s abilities as expressed at camp in chapter eight. as an outsider to the drama the Faerghus Four know about, all Seteth (the second highest power in the entirety of the Church system) is seeing is a non-Crest bearer with potential and capability leading a unit and being loyal to Dimtiri. while Miklan prefers to act like he’s not really all that loyal and had no choice (as discussed when Miklan is officially established as part of the army and at camp), he could have turned tail and left (especially during chapter nine), but he decided to lay down his life for this and died with more or less a smile/smirk, indicating he was satisfied with his decision and didn’t lament his fate the way he did in Houses when Dimitri didn’t have the chance to save him.

what this means for Claude is that there was an entire mess going on in Faerghus all that time that he was struggling and starting to question how to handle the war on his end. everything Claude lost all faith in was happening elsewhere in Fodlan, and had he had the time at the Academy to see what it was like there, he would have had more time to realize that Dimitri (and thus the future of Faerghus) was someone who was going to turn the Crest system on its absolute head if given the time to do so (and Sylvain is very much a pioneer in fixing that system in BOTH games, which again circles back to Miklan in part of why Sylvain is so deeply part of that change).

tbh I think the biggest loss for Claude here is that he didn’t get to meet Miklan and find out that Dimitri had given him such a prominent station in the Faerghus army (and mind you, his absolute trust and Sylvain’s. they left a good chunk of trust in the soldiers left to handle the Empire when they had to rescue Dimitri, which means they all also trusted they wouldn’t be turned on and have anyone betray them for the Empire). that would have been the first crack in his concerns with the Crest system and would have led him with his more curious nature to look more into what was going on in the Faerghus army, and thus, destroying any perception he had that the Crest system was really destroying Fodlan.

ultimately yeah, you could say the Crest system had become an issue... but if Claude had more time to realize people were working on it, peacefully and without bloodshed, he would have sided with those people instead of becoming a huge warmonger, equal to the scale of Edelgard.

what I’m saying is that yeah, I don’t like how Claude turned out in GW/SB, but I can see where it came from and how fucked up it made him that he didn’t spend that time at the Academy. again, Byleth being by Claude’s side had zero bearing on Claude’s maturity. in AM Byleth was never with Claude, but Claude ceded the Alliance to Dimitri and trusted him to care for Fodlan and Claude’s people while giving him the Alliance’s most important possession (Failnaught). he didn’t need Byleth at his side to mature. he needed time and understanding. Byleth did help somewhat by being there because he knew Byleth for a whole year, knew Byleth’s influence on Dimitri on a personal scale in AM (proven in AM chapter 19), and because Byleth naturally had a large part in the turn of events, but Byleth was not a singular reason for Claude to go in one direction or another.

you know at this point im more inclined to say tl;dr miklan’s appointment as a commander in the army could’ve saved fodlan’s future if claude had only met him and learned about his background because claude’s perception of the crest system and edelgard’s nonsense would've been shattered in a heartbeat.

so you know what, i think im gonna say tl;dr dimitri and miklan should’ve been the real mvps but we were robbed because miklan deserved so much more having finally turned his life around no thanks to matthias

...real tl;dr tho, hopes claude (particularly non AG) is literally bad ending claude while houses claude (AM/VW) is good ending claude (CF ending claude varies between dead claude and status unknown claude bc we don’t really learn what happened with him after the game. we just know he went back to Almyra and not if he ever bothered forging relations with an Edelgard conquered Fodlan). ss ending claude is just a big ol’ ??? but i’d assume things worked out in the end bc byleth took over as the leader of fodlan in ss which is exactly what happened in vw so if vw led to good ending claude, i assume ss did too.

[jasontoddiefor]

Rant about D.Gray-man and father figures, spoilers up until the most recent chapters:

Mana adopts Allen out of a circus, which had allegedly bought Allen from his parents. So we know that the concept parents is entirely foreign to Allen. He knows that they exist and other people have them, but he doesn’t - and also doesn’t see the need for them. Narratively, we learn very early on that Mana loved Allen and Allen cared for him so much because Mana was basically his savior. So of course Allen blames himself so much for turning his father into an Akuma after he'd died and then sees it as his duty to help free souls as his father cursed him with the ability to do so. So we have a character that went from not caring (openly) about parents, to dedicating himself entirely to his father, building his grief-wrecked identity around him.

Which, you know. Seems pretty standard for a plot, nice father died, resurrected as an Akuma and is exorcised by his kid again, cursing him with the ability to see other monsters.

And then the image starts to deteriorate and you're left staring at it like "oh. oh they were SO NOT okay".

First of, "Allen" was named by Mana. His name before that was Red, for the color his deformed arm. And Allen wasn't just named randomly. As far as he is concerned he was named after Mana's dead dog. Like, that is so fucked up. Especially because throughout the series he always ensures that he is actually called Allen and not by some nickname. He has claimed this name, clings to it as if it’s all he has. (Which, would be an interesting parallel to Lavi, but that’s for another post.

What Allen doesn't know is that Mana named his dog after a deceased friend.

But point is that he still clung to the name of a pet that he'd taken for himself. Next up is the fact that Mana had hallucinations his mental health was continuously worsening to the point that he didn't exactly know where or when he was and likely, at points, saw Allen as Nea, whether that is subconsciously recognizing his presence or not, Allen was definitely aware that Mana was struggling and must have internalized that. As much as Allen saw Mana as his father, and Mana showered Allen with love and took care of him, they were So Messed Up.

And D.Gray-man handles that so wonderfully. When you're introduced to Mana, it's through the eyes of a grieving child who lost everything. Mana seems so perfect, so good and holy, and it is only as Allen grows up and learns more of the truth that he understands this broken image. And this is also one of the reasons why I don't mind the many hiatus of dgm so much because the reader literally got to grow up with Allen. I mean, I was 12 when i started reading it and Allen was 12 when his father died - now I'm older than he currently is in-universe (17) but it still feels like we grew up side by side as the narrative just became more and more mature and you learn to reflect actions more in depth.

So in Mana we have what appears to be a father figure first slowly turning into a deeply hurting man whom you're not even sure truly understood what he was to Allen.

With Allen's teacher Cross we have the exact different development. We see him pick up Allen and apparently tell him about Akuma but that's it. Otherwise we learn that he was rather rough to Allen, made him pay off his debts, left him alone for a long while and didn't even teach him all that much given how much the Order still has to explain to Allen when he joins them - which is also interesting. The fact that Allen has seen Grave of Maria in action and knows precisely what it is, the kind of magic Cross deals with, but is ignorant in so many other ways.

But then we have the plot reach a flashback and we learn that Allen was pretty much catatonic for months after Mana's death and that Cross, while bitching about it bc He Did Not Sign Up For It, cared for him. Fed him, cleaned the bed and him, talked to him and tried to get a rise out of him. All while saying that he can't afford to get attached to Allen bc Allen's death is pretty predestined.

And then again the narrative's growth just helps you reflect on it. You learn to view Cross and Allen's interaction as that of a kid who knows nothing but tries his best and a man who never meant to get attached, to ensure Allen only lived as long as he needed to but suddenly actually grew to love the kid and want him to survive, going as far as entrusting Allen with some of his most precious belongings and wanting Allen to actually deal with his repressed trauma and learn to live only for himself. Like!!! The parallels between Cross and Mana are so fascinating and while Cross by no means was like A Good Guardian, you see that it was him honestly realizing "ah fuck, I did it now. this is my kid huh.". And just!!! The fact that there are not many fanfics dealing with how fucked up it is to raise a kid for slaughter only to realize that you want him to have a fighting chance now makes me wanna cry. Hoshino did such an amazing work building up these relationships.

And I really love how Hoshino didn't go with any of the typical routes for father figures, but uses tropes to dig deep. you have the "uncaring but secretly loves him" father but it is actually bound to the fact that said father had to keep the emotional distance to avoid breaking the world. You have the "perfect and ideal" loving father whose love comes from the fact that he is actually so lost and doesn't have anything at all.

Just,,,,, I adore this manga so much

[ballorawan740]

SCP Scenarios: SCP x Reader - McDonald's Sprite (REQUESTED)

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Requested by: @katnotmore123

Bro y'all be simping for Sprite and I'm here simping for 7Up...

I mean I like them both but I just prefer 7up over Sprite... It's like comparing Pepsi and Coke ngl but with a more subtle difference

SCP 073 (Cain)

You came back to the foundation one day with a cup of iced drink and Cain had asked what you were drinking and you showed him

He was mildly confused but soon understood the beverage since he had seen them somewhere on the web (no, not the hub, an advert from McDonald's)

You asked if he wanted to try some and he did, so you gave him a sip

You were slightly annoyed and surprised since you drove over an hour and hadn't had anything to drink and the last thing you wanted was someone taking your drink

But since it was 073, you made it an exception since you hadn't expected him to have any food or beverages outside of site 17

You figured that he had enjoyed it as he reminisced his past about being able to eat plant-based food but no longer could

You felt bad and agreed to get more when you next go back

The researchers had wondered if the drink had ever rotted in his mouth but realise moments later that it's mainly made out of artificial ingredients aside from the natural flavourings

SCP 076-2 (Abel)

I have high doubts that you would be able to persuade Abel to drink such a plain beverage, so you had devised a plan to get him to try

You made a bet with Abel in which the loser has to finish off the drink, not that you'd complain (you unhealthy mf), but you really wanted him to give it a try

Abel accepted and had very much lost the bet

He had taken a sip and you noticed that he's enjoying the drink and teased him

He spat it out and flat out denied it (like the tsundere he is) but continued drinking it anyways

Some of the researchers monitoring Abel's cell found it rather amusing that he enjoyed such a "plain beverage" and did try to tease him about it

Let's just say it didn't end very well as it resulted in somebody's head being chopped off

You both had agreed that if Abel stops trying to breach his containment and be more cooperative, you or somebody else in your team would buy him more Sprite from McDonald's (and by 'buy', I mean kidnapping the whole chain's Sprite dispenser)

SCP 999 (Tickle Monster)

999 would most definitely take the drink out of your hand since his little tingles tell him that whatever you were drinking was sweet

And he was very much right

You were slightly shocked but wasn't surprised since he does have quite a sweet tooth

Every now and again, SCP 999 would ask if you had any more of those drinks and would even ask what they were

You had explained to him that it's a lemon and line flavoured soft drink created by the Coca-Cola company (the more you know right?)

He was intrigued and sweetly requested if you could buy him more and you obliged

You would use your time off to buy a dozen of Sprites from McDonald's and would sometimes buy other soft drinks like Coke and Fanta for 999

Needless to say, you had an orange blob as your personal pet who would give you unlimited hugs since you spoiled him with so many drinks

SCP 682 (Hard to Destroy Reptile)

This mf of a lizard right here is just as stubborn, if not even more than Abel, and would reject trying that beverage at all for the whole entire week

You had to bribe him and the researchers were laughing their socks off from this interaction you both got going

He did give in but was rather hesitant at first

Once you poured some into his mouth, he seemed slightly disgusted from the taste

He would just sit still for a moment as to contemplate then stuck his tongue out as a sign of disgust

But bring the cheeky person you were, you spilt more into his mouth which led to him farting for the next few hours to which everyone laughed

Dr Bright heard the commotion and came to see what was happening

Let's just say he encouraged you to carry on if you want your head cut off but found it amusing regardless

In short, don't ever give him Sprite unless you want to torture him

SCP 049 (Plague Doctor)

Does this bird doctor even drink?!

You mention multiple times about human food and how delicious they are

Mainly McDonald's Sprite and their food since its rather popular

ESPECIALLY THEIR CHEESE BITES/STICKS!!! HAVE YALL EVEN TRIED THEM!? THEY'RE DELICIOUS AF!!!

OMG they've released the garlic ones but I preferred the normal Mozzarella sticks and cheesy bites though

Anyways, back to Sprite, our side chick

049 would be intrigued about this 'Sprite' since you spoke so passionately about it like your life depended on it and requested you to get him one for a try and so you did

When he drank it he was surprised at the foreign taste

He asked if there were more beverages like it and you answered honestly, carrying on with your love for McDonald's and offered to buy him some for a try

Basically, 049 would give it a try since you spoke so passionately for them

He wouldn't necessarily hate it, but he wouldn't love the drink as much

I'd say he would be intrigued to try something new outside of his role in curing the pestilence

SCP 035 (Possessive Mask)

I am so sorry guys, I'll have to make 035 hella short since I can't think of anything interesting for him

DO YALL THINK THIS BOI CAN EVEN TRY?! JUST LOOK AT HIM!!! HE'S A BLOODY MASK!!!

The closest thing for him to try the drink is if you gave his now possessed body some beforehand so 035 could telepathically understand the taste

Like if you just straight up gave him the drink I don't think he would be able to drink it even if he wanted to

If the now dead body never had Sprite, then you ould just describe the tase to him in form of arts (I like to imagine 035 would be into arts, especially performing arts since he's basically a theatre mask)

SCP 105 (Iris)

Our girl here has a high chance that she might have tried McDonald's Sprite

But she just prefers healthier foods (this healthy mf knows that y'all can't keep healthy, that's why she's here to start your New Year's Resolution which is to stay healthy)

You both would recommend food which is healthy or unhealthy and would try them

Iris is more than capable of controlling her diet, but you, on the other hand, have a hard time doing so (don't lie, we all know y'all like junk food)

So, you both compromised in which you can have junk food as a reward, namely your favourite beverage, Sprite

You just love the citrus flavoured, colourless beverage so much that Iris would have to hide the drink from you (ah yes great promotion from me XD)

What would you do without our girl, Iris, eh? (Die from overeating unhealthy food which causes heart attacks and strokes, of course, fun!)

Anyways, sometimes when you're the one going out, you would be the one to buy a few dozen bottles of Sprite from McDonald's (bro do they even sell bottled drinks? Ik they do in KFC from where I live OwO)

Iris would drop dead from the sight of you bringing in so many Sprites into the foundation

She would most likely drink some with you, not because she likes them, god no

It's because there's no more room to store them and she's just a little bit thirsty

SCP 106 (Old Man)

This old man would be so confused by all this food and drinks from the outside world

His first impression of McDonald's was that of a circus since you've shown him the older advertisement for McDonald's since it fits his age (love you 106!!! Not)

And then you gave him a menu, and god did he not have any glasses (boi he do be needing to go to Specsavers fr)

He read Mozzarella Sticks as mosasaurs pricks, the Spicy Veggie One as spicy vag- and what's worse is that he read Double Quater Pounder as double quantum pounding (he even read Coke wrong!)

You and the foundation staff burst out of laughter at his 20/20 eyesight

So one day, you returned to the foundation with some Sprite in your hands in hopes that 106 would give it a go and so he did

He found the flavour somewhat new and strange but still enjoyed it nevertheless (this boi here do be a man of culture, am I right?)

Anyways, 106 loved it so much to the point that during one of the breaches, he disappeared from the foundation and reappeared with 10 boxes of Sprite

The researchers then realised afterwards that 106 had used his pocket dimension to teleport to the nearest McDonald's and stole the boxes of Sprite without even paying

They were even more surprised to find that the workers there were ordinary humans and weren't even fazed about 106 teleporting to their business (Sames here bro! If anyone stole my food/drinks I'd be pissed too regardless of who it is!!! Food is food!!!)

You basically made him addicted to Sprite

SCP 096 (Shy Guy)

(Imma be honest here, idk if this guy eats since he's facing the wall and covering his face like 99% of the time unless some guy saw his face)

You were sat in 096's cell and was debating on what food to get from McDonald's

096 was curious about what you're talking about since he heard you mumbling bout food from this so-called "McDonald's"

So you explained to him the concept of food and that generally speaking, unhealthy foods are tastier and typically served quicker in at places like McDonald's

Imma be real here, I like Burger King's chilli cheese bites a tiny bit more since the McDonald's at my place is stuck with garlic cheese bites atm

It's not like I hate them, but I just prefer the old ones, but it's nice that McDonald's changes up their food every now and then

Anyways, back onto our side chick

You bought your favourite Sprite along with the double quantum pou- quarter pounder

096 was upon curious and so you let him have a bite of your quarter pounder and your Sprite

Let's just say that 096 found it weird and didn't ask about human food again

Dr Jack bright

Jack Bright is very much aware of McDonald's and other fast-food chains since he does have a fair share of memories of eating them with his family and because the bodies he possesses do be unhealthy af (just like you)

You were talking about food with one of your co-workers and Bright just so happened to be nearby and butted his head into the conversation

Your co-worker also just happened to leave for a meeting so you're both stuck together talking about McDonald's

Sometime later, you bought to the foundation some food, including Jack's favourites as he had mentioned not long ago

You both tried each other's food and he was mesmerised by the Sprite since it's been a while since he had it

So whenever you went back, you would buy a larger bottle of Sprite for Jack since he wouldn't have much free time and needed to drink more anyways

Sometimes, when you're both talking about food, you'd make up puns for them or just laugh at your misinterpretations since you're just as blind as a bat (btw I've read somewhere that bats have good vision, they just use echolocation a lot)

Some of the things you both would say would be "Did you hear that McDonald's gave all their employees large laptops for Christmas? They were Big Macs" and "Hey, Ronald McDonald - been watching any good clown movies? Ronald: I'm loving it"

One time, he smacked your bum and casually said to you "Girl, this quarter-pounder will take you to a whole different level of experience" and then left

Dr Simon Glass

Another doctor who has knowledge of fast foods

He's similar to Bright in a way as he doesn't leave the facility as often as he likes since he's constantly busy

Also, he would make terrible jokes and puns using wordplay

When you told him about your favourite drink, Sprite, Glass immediately said "I went to the store to get eight cans of Sprite. When I got home, I realized I’d only picked seven up"

You just looked dumbfounded at his puns and laughed as he continued

He did manage to take a sip and drank the whole can of Sprite instead

You even bought some wrap with extra mayo and told Simon about your friendly chat with the waitress/cashier and mentioned her former co-workers

And you died on the inside because his only reply was "She should go back sometime to ketchup with her old co-workers or she mayo not want to"

To shut him up, you have decided that buying him Sprite would work and it kinda did

Only for a short while though

Dr Alto Clef

Clef is well aware of the fast-food chain called McDonald's

It was hard to ignore it as a lot of people younger than him had kept talking about it, even you

Even worse if it was you talking about McDonald's since you have an obsession with their Sprite

Poor Clef was confused as he assumed that all lemon/lime flavoured drinks were the same

Oh boy was he wrong

You came back with your lunch from you know where and 2 bottles of Sprite

One was from McDonald's and the other from Lidl along with some of your favourite pastries, like croissants and toffee yum yums

You had him try all the foods and both Sprites and he finally gave in to the fact that McDonald's Sprite tastes more superior than the other

Not only that, he made dirty jokes and puns about the food in McDonald's

Like "Baby, you got more legs than a bucket of McDonald's", "Come over to my house and I’ll give ya a happy meal", "Do you work here? Because I’d like to order some fries with that shake" and "Girl when I am done with you, you won't be looking for no toys in this happy meal"

Dr Benjamin Kondraki

Benjamin Kondraki would be the type of person who would be reluctant to try but would anyways since you asked so kindly and gave them those eyes

And by that, I mean a death glare

NGL he doesn't seem like the type of fella to be eating a ton of unhealthy food

I mean he doesn't necessarily eat salad or anything overly healthy, but he does have a balanced diet for the most part and does treat himself sometimes, but not too often

You magically crept up behind Kondraki and scared him unintentionally but you still laughed anyway because you're evil

He looked down and realised that the packaging was from McDonald's and you were holding a familiar clear bottle in your other hand

You were kind enough to share your food with him and he thoroughly enjoyed it

Then after that, you forced him to drink some Sprite since he has PTSD from your unhealthy obsession with it

And yes, he did end up drinking it

And no, he didn't like it nor did he hate it

You were upset that you thought he shot you down about Sprite but quickly regained your happiness since he did tell you about the drink being just above average

[itonje]

people of color in arthurian legend masterpost

hi! some people said it would be cool if i did this, and this is something i find interesting so. yeah! are you interested in king arthur and the knights of the round table? do you like to read about characters of color, especially in older lit? well, i hope this can be a good resource for people to get into stuff like that, especially poc/ethnic minorities who might feel uncomfortable or lonely getting into older media like arthuriana. this post is friendly to both those who prefer medieval lit and those who prefer modern stuff!

disclaimers: i am not a medievalist nor a race theorist! very much not so. i am just a 17 year old asian creature on the internet who wants to have an easy-to-reference post, if i’m not comprehensive enough please inform me. i’m going to stay closely to the matter of britain, as well, not all medieval european literature as a. this is what i’m more familiar with and b. there’s so much content and information and context to go along with it that it would really be impossible to put it all into one tumblr post. (however there’s always going to be overlap!) also, please do not treat me or any other person of color/ethnic minority as a singular all-knowing authority on anything! we’re all trying to have fun here and being made into an information machine on things, especially what is and isn’t offensive isn’t fun. with that out of the way, let’s get into it! (under cut for length!) 

part i: some historical context (tw for racism and antisemitism discussion)

fair warning, i’m going to start off with some discussions of more heavier history before we talk about more fun stuff. while pre colonial racism was far more different than how it is today, there still...was racism. and it’s important to understand the social mien around nonwhite people in europe at the time these works were written. 

to understand how marginalized ethnicities were written in medieval european literature, you have to understand the fact that religion, specifically catholicism, was a very important part of medieval european life. already, catholicism has violent tenets (ie, conversion as an inherent part of the church, as well as many antisemitic theologies and beliefs), but this violence worsened when an event known as the crusades happened.

the crusades were a series of religious wars started by the catholic church to ‘reclaim’ the holy land from islamic rule and to aid the byzantine empire. while i won’t go into the full history of the crusades, (some basic info here and here and here) its important to understand that they had strengthened the european view of the ’pagan’ (ie: not european christian) world as an ‘other’, a threat to christiandom that needed to be conquered and converted, for the spiritual benefit of both the convertee and the converter. these ideas of ethnoreligious superiority and conversion would permeate into the literature of the time written by european christians. 

even today, the crusades are very much associated with white supremacy and modern islamophobic sentiment, with words such as ‘deus vult’ as a dogwhistle, and worship of and willingness to emulate the violence the crusaders used against the inhabitants of the holy land in tradcath spaces, so this isn’t stuff that’s all dead and in the past. crusader propaganda and the ignorance on the violence of the catholic church and the crusaders on muslim and jewish populations (as well as nonwhite christians ofc) is very harmful. arthuriana itself has a lot of links to white supremacy too-thanks to @/to-many-towered-camelot for this informative post. none of this stuff exists in a bubble. 

here’s a book on catholic antisemitism, here’s a book on orientalism, here’s a book about racism in history that touches on the crusades. (to any catholic, i highly reccommend you read the first.)

with that out of the way, we can talk about the various not european groups that typically show up in arthurian literature and some historical background irt to that. the terms ‘moor’ and ‘saracen’ will typically pop up. both terms are exonyms and are very, very broad, eventually used as both a general term for muslims and as a general term for african and (western + central) asian people. they’re very vague, but when you encounter them the typical understanding you’re supposed to take away is ‘(western asian/african) foreigner’ and typically muslim/not christian as well. t

generally, african and asian lands will typically be referred to as pagan or ‘eastern/foreign’ lands, with little regard for understanding the actual religions of that area. they will also typically refer to saracens as pagans although islam is not a pagan religion. this is just a bit of a disclaimer. the term saracen itself is considered to be rather offensive-thank you to @/lesbianlanval for sending me a paper on this subject. 

while i typically refer to the content on this post as having to pertain to african and asian people (ie, not european) european jewish arthurian traditions are included on this post too. but, i know more about poc and they’ll feature more prominently in this post because of that, lol. 

part ii: so, are there any medieval texts involving characters of color?

i’m glad you asked! of course there are! to be clear, european medieval authors were very much aware that people of color and african + asian nations existed, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. even the vita merlini mentions sri lanka and a set of islands that might (?) be the philippines!! for the sake of brevity though, on this list i’m not going to list every single one of these small and frequent references, so i’m just going to focus on texts that primarily (or notably) feature characters of color. 

first of all, it’s important to know was the influence of cultures of color and marginalized ethnicities that helped shape arthurian legend. the cultural exchange between europe and the islamic world during the crusades, as well as the long history of arab presence in southern europe, led to the influence of arabic love poetry and concepts of love on european literature, helping to form what we consider the archetypal romance. there are also arthurian traditions in hebrew, and yiddish too, adding new cultural ideas and introducing new story elements to their literature-all of these are just as crucial to the matter of britain as any other traditions!

when it comes to nonwhite presence in the works themselves, many knights of color in arthurian legend tend to be characters that, after defeated by a knight of arthur’s court join the court themselves. though some are side characters, there are others with their own romances and stories devoted to them! many of them are portrayed as capable + good as, if not better than their counterparts. (this, however, usually only comes through conversion to christianity if the knight is not christian...yeah.) though groups of color as a general monolith created by european christians tended to be orientalized in literature (see: mystical and strange ~eastern~ lands), many individual knights were written to be seen by their medieval audience as positive heroes. i’m going to try to stick to mostly individual character portrayals such as these. 

with that all said though, these characters can still be taken as offensive (i would consider most to be) in their writing, so take everything with a grain of salt here. i will also include links to as many english translations of texts as i can, as well as note which ones i think are beginner friendly to those on the fence about medieval literature!

he shows up in too many texts so let’s make this into two bullet notes and start with one of, if not the most ubiquitous knight of color of the round table (at least in medieval lit),-palamedes! palamedes/palomides is a ‘’saracen knight’’ who (typically) hails from babylon or palestine and shows up in a good amount of texts. his first appearance is in the prose tristan, and he plays a major role there as a knight who fights with tristan for the hand of iseult-while he uh. loses, him and tristan later become companions + friends with a rivalry, and palamedes later goes off to hunt the questing beast, a re-occurring trend in his story. 

palamedes even got his own romance named after him (which was very popular!) and details the adventures of the fathers of the knights of the round table, pre arthur, as well as later parts of the story detailing the adventures of their sons. it was included in rustichello da pisa’s compilation of arthurian romances, which i unfortunately have not seen floating around online (or...anywhere), so i can’t attest to the quality of it or anything. he appears in le morte darthur as well, slaying the questing beast but only after his conversion to christianity (...yeah.) in the texts in which he appears, palamedes is considered to be one of the top knights of the round table, alongside tristan and lancelot, fully living up to chivalric and courtly ideals and then some. i love him dearly and i’ve read the prose tristan five times just for him. (also the prose tristan in general is good, please give it a try, especially if you’re a romance fan.)

speaking of le morte d’arthur, an egyptian knight named priamus shows up in the lucius v arthur episode on lucius’ side first, later joining arthur’s after some interactions with gawaine. palamedes has brothers here as well-safir and segwarides. safir was relatively popular, and shows up in many medieval texts, mostly alongside his older brother. i wouldn’t recommend reading le morte of all things for the characters of color though-if you really want to see what it’s all about, just skip to the parts they’re mentioned with ctrl + f, haha. 

the romance of moriaen is a 12th century dutch romance from the lancelot compilation, named for its main character morien. morien, who is a black moor, is the son of sir aglovale, the brother of perceval. whilst gawaine and lancelot are searching for said perceval, they encounter morien, who is in turn searching for aglovale as he had abandoned morien’s mother way back when. i wholeheartedly recommend this text for people who might feel uncomfy with medieval lit. though the translation i’ve linked can be a bit tricky, the story is short, sweet, and easy to follow, and morien and his relationships (esp with gariet, gawaine’s brother) are all wonderful. 

king artus (original hebrew text here) is a northern italian jewish arthurian text written in hebrew- it retells a bit of the typical conception of arthur story, as well as some parts from the death of arthur as well. i really can’t recommend this text enough-it’s quite short, with an easy-to-read english translation, going over episodes that are pretty familiar to any average reader while adding a lot of fun details and it’s VERY interesting to me from a cultural standpoint. i find the way how they adapt the holy grail (one of the most archetypal christian motifs ever) in particular pretty amazing. this is also a very beginner friendly text! 

wolfram von eschenbach’s parzival (link to volume 1 and volume 2-this translation rhymes!) is a medieval high german romance from the early 13th century, based off de troyes’ le conte du graal while greatly expanding on the original story. it concerns parzival and his quest for the grail (with a rather unique take on it-he fails at first!), and also takes like one million detours to talk about gawaine as all arthurian lit does. the prominent character of color here is a noble mixed race knight called feirefiz, parzival’s half brother by his father, who after dueling with parzival, and figures out their familial connection, joins him on his grail quest. he eventually converts to christianity (..yeah.) to see the grail and all ends happily for him. however, this text is notable to me as it contains two named women of color-belacane, feirefiz’s black african mother, and secundilla, feirefiz’s indian wife. though unfortunately, both are pretty screwed over by the text and their respective husbands. though parzival is maybe my favorite medieval text i’ve read so far i don’t necessarily know if i’d recommend this one, because it is long, and can be confusing at times. however, i do think that when it comes to the portrayal of people of color, while quite poor by today’s standards, von eschenbach was trying his best?-of course, in reason for. a 13th century medival german christian but he treats them with respect and all these characters are actually characters. if you’re really interested in grail stories (and are aware of the more uncomfortably christian aspects of the grail story), and you like gawaine and perceval, i’d say go for it. 

in the turk and sir gawain, an english poem from the early 16th century, gawaine and the titular turkish man play a game of tennis ball. i’m shitting you not. this text is pretty short, funnily absurd, and with most of the hallmarks of a typical quest (various challenges culminating in some castle being freed), so it’s an easier read. it’s unclear to me, but at the end of the story the turkish man turns into sir gromer, a noble knight, who may or may not be white which uh. consider my ‘....yeah’ typical at this point, but i don’t personally read it that way for my own sanity. also he throws the sultan (??) of the isle of man (????) into a cauldron for not being a christian so when it comes to respectful representation of poc this one doesn’t make it, but it does make this list. 

the revenge of ragisel, or at least the version i’ve read (the eng translation of the dutch version from the lancelot compilation), die wrake van ragisel, starts off being about the mysterious murder of a knight, but eventually, as most stories do, becomes a varying series of adventures about gawaine and co. one of gawaine’s friends (see: a knight who he combated with for a hot sec and then became friends and allies with, as you do) is a black knight named maurus! he’s not really an mc, but he features prominently and he’s pretty entertaining, as all the characters in this are. i also recommend this highly, i was laughing the whole time reading it! it’s not too long and pretty wild, you’ll have a good romp. this is a good starter text for anyone in general!

i’ve not read the roman van walewein, which, as it says on the tin, is a 12th century dutch romance concerning some deeds of gawaine (if only gawaine was a canon poc, i wouldn’t need to make this list because he’s so popular...). i’m putting it on the list for in this, gawaine goes to the far eastern land of endi (india) and romances a princess named ysabele. i can’t speak to ysabele’s character or the respectfulness of her kingdom or representation, but i know she’s a major character and her story ends pretty well, so that’s encouraging. women of color, especially fleshed out woc, are pretty rare in arthurian lit. i’ve also heard the story itself is pretty wild, and includes a fox, which sounds pretty exciting to me!

now the next two things i’m going to mention aren’t really? texts that feature characters of color or jewish characters, but are rather more notable for being translations of existing texts into certain languages. wigalois is a german 13th century romances featuring the titular character (the son of, you guessed it, gawaine!) and his deeds. the second, jaufre, is the only arthurian romance written in occitan, and is a quite long work about the adventures of the knight jaufre, based on the knight griflet. what’s notable about these two works is that wigalois has a yiddish translation, and jaufre has a tagalog translation. wigalois’ yiddish translation in particular changed the original german text into something more fitting of the arthurian romance format as well as adding elements to make it more appealing for a jewish audience. the tagalog translation of jaufre on the other hand was not medieval, only coming about in 1900, but the philippines has had a long history of romantic tradition and verse writing, so i’m curious to see if it too adds or changes elements when it comes to the arthurian story, but i can’t find a lot on the tagalog version of jaufre unfortunately-i hope i can eventually!

this list of texts is also non-exhaustive! i’m just listing a couple of notoriety, and some to start with. 

part iii: papers and academic analysis

so here’s just a dump of various papers i’ve read and collected on topics such as these-this is an inexhaustive and non-comprehensive list! if you have any papers you think are good and would like to be added here, shoot me an ask. i’ll try to include a link when i can, but if it’s unavailable to you just message me. * starred are the ones i really think people, especially white people, should at least try to read. 

Swank, Kris. ‘Black in Camelot: Race and Ethnicity in Arthurian Legend’ *

Harrill, Claire. ‘Saracens and racial Otherness in Middle English * Romance’

Keita, Maghan. ‘Saracens and Black Knights’ 

Hoffman, Donald L. ‘Assimilating Saracens: The Aliens in Malory's ‘Morte Darthur’

Goodrich, Peter H. ‘Saracens and Islamic Alterity in Malory's ‘Le Morte Darthur’

Schultz, Annie. ‘Forbidden Love: The Arabic Influence on the Courtly Love Poetry of Medieval Europe’ *

Hardman, Philipa. ‘Dear Enemies: the Motif of the Converted Saracen and Sir Gawain and the Green Knight’

Knowles, Annie. ‘Encounters of the Arabian Kind: Cultural Exchange and Identity the Tristans of Medieval France, England, and Spain’ *

Hermes, Nizar F. ‘King Arthur in the Lands of the Saracens’ *

Ayed, Wajih. ‘Somatic Figurations of the Saracen in Sir Thomas Malory’s Le Morte Darthur’

Herde, Christopher M. ‘A new fantasy of crusade: Sarras in the vulgate cycle.’ *

Rovang, Paul R. ‘Hebraizing Arthurian Romance: The Originality of ‘Melech Artus.’’

Rajabzdeh, Shokoofeh. ‘The Depoliticized Saracen and Muslim erasure’ *

Holbrook, Sue Ellen. ‘To the Well: Malory's Sir Palomides on Ideals of Chivalric Reputation, Male Friendship, Romantic Love, Religious Conversion—and Loyalty.’ *

Lumbley, Coral. ‘Geoffrey of Monmouth and Race’ *

Oehme, Annegret. ‘Adapting Arthur. The Transformations and Adaptations of Wirnt von Grafenberg’s Wigalois’ *

Hendrix, Erik. ‘An Unlikely Hero: The Romance of Moriaen and Racial Discursivity in the Middle Ages’ *

Darrup, Cathy C. ‘Gender, Skin Color, and the Power of Place in the Medieval Dutch Romance of Moriaen’ *

Armstrong, Dorsey. ‘Postcolonial Palomides: Malory's Saracen Knight and the Unmaking of Arthurian Community’ (note this is the only one i can’t access in its entirety)

part iv: supplemental material

here’s some other stuff i find useful to getting to know knights of color in arthurian legend, especially if papers/academic stuff/medieval literature is daunting! i’d really recommend you go through all of these if you can’t go through anything else-most are quick reads. 

a magazine article on knights of color here, and this article about the yiddish translation of wigalois. 

this video about characters of color in arthurian legend!

the performance of the translation of arabic in Libro del Caballero Zifar, and how it pertains to the matter of britain 

a post by yours truly about women of color in parzival

this info sheet about palamedes, and this info sheet about ysabele-thanks to @/pendraegon and @/reynier for letting me use these!

this page on palamedes as well

this post with various resources on race and ethnicity in arthuriana-another thank you to @/reynier! 

part v: how about modern day stories and adaptations?

there’s a lot of em out there! i’m not as familiar with modern stuff, but i will try to recommend medias i know where characters of color (including racebends!) are prominent. since i haven’t read/watched all (or truly most) of these, i can’t really speak on the quality of the representation though, so that’s your warning. 

first of all, when it comes to the victorian arthurian revival, i know that william morris really liked palamedes! (don’t we all.) he features frequently in morris’ arthurian poetry, (in this beautiful book, he primarily features in ‘sir galahad, a christmas mystery’ and ‘king arthur’s tomb’. he has his own poem by morris here.)

and some other poems about palamedes, which i’d all recommend. 

for movies, i know a knight in camelot (1998) stars whoopi goldberg as an original character, the green knight (2021) will star dev patel as gawaine. 

some shows include camelot high, bbc merlin, disney’s once upon a time, and netflix’s cursed, all featuring both original characters of color and people of color cast as known arthurian figures. 

for any music people, in ‘high noon over camelot’, an album by the mechanisms, mordred is played by ashes o’reilley, who in turn is performed by frank voss, and arthur is played by marius von raum who is perfomed by kofi young. 

i’ve also heard the pendragon and the squire’s tales have palamedes as a relevant character if you’re looking for novels, as well as legendborn and the forgotten knight: a chinese warrior in king arthur’s court starring original protagonists of color! 

part vi: going on from here

so, you’ve read some medieval lit, read some papers, watched some shows, and done all that. what now? well, there’s still so much out there! 

if you have fanfiction, analysis, metaposts, fun content etc etc about arthurian poc, feel free to plug your content on this post! i’d be happy to boost it. 

in general, if you’re a person of color or a jewish person and you’re into arthurian legend, feel free to promote your blog on this post as well! i would love to know more people active on arthurian tumblr who are nonwhite. 

this is really just me asking for extra content, especially content made by poc, but that’s okay! arthurian legend is a living, breathing set of canons and i would love love love to see more fresh diversity within them right alongside the older stuff. 

a very gracious thank you to the tumblr users whom i linked posts to on here, and thanks to y’all for saying you want to see this! i hope this post helped people learn some new things! 

[dewdropreader]

Hey! I was tagged by 3 different people— @insert-witty-user-name-here, @starport-seven-five and @bushs-world for this WIP fic tag, so I definetly had to give it a shot!

Rules: Post the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them and then post a little snippet of it or tell them something about it.

Then tag some people for a no-obligation mutual wailing/cheering/complaining session!

So I’m sorry to say my WIP names aren’t all that interesting 😂 I mostly label them with numbers and maybe a keyword, but nothing super funny or unique like some others I’ve seen! But regardless I’ll post what I’ve got and I’d love to chat/answer asks about anything y’all are curious about!

• Loki Bingo 21-Garden

• Loki Bingo 17 (A)- Disorientation

• Time Crew Fic 6- Loki Trauma

• Time Crew Fic 4- Songs!

• Loki Bingo 7- Admitting Something

Those are all the individual documents I have, but in a master doc of random ideas I have some more complete ideas listed as concept blurbs instead of 1-2 word titles

• Sylvie running away due to habit before returning to Loki and Mobius who comfort her

• Exploring Mobius studying Loki(s) and his empathy and attempts to understand them

• Mobius (+Others) trying to celebrate birthdays for Loki and Sylvie despite the concept being fairly foreign to them (so they react with confusion, being flustered, but also being grateful)

• Extended car scene with Mobius and Sylvie getting to know each other, followed by a scene where Mobius seeks Sylvie out to apologize more concretely for his hand in hunting her (I know the car scene fic is not original but I still want to do my take lol)

• (inspired by a Twitter post I saw on pinterest) Loki having scars from Thanos and hiding them, but one day they are revealed and Mobius reassures him that he’s not pitying or disregarding him but wants to help him because he cares, despite Loki lashing out at first

• Loki confiding in Mobius early on that he isn’t used to quiet due to having been under Thanos’/the tesseracts control, and dealing with what he thought would be good (being free from that) when in fact it’s just unsettling. Mobius stays and chats with him about random stuff so Loki can fall asleep.

And that’s that! Some of these are 3am ideas I jotted down so I wouldn’t forget and others are ones I’m actively writing so it’s a fun mix lol. I love these fanfic tags, they’re always lots of fun!

Most of the people I would typically tag were people who already tagged me or that I saw tagged by other people, but I’ll tag a few others myself! (Also not sure if everyone I’m tagging is active rn/currently writing fics so if I tag you and you’re like ??? Just ignore me lol)

@mossymushroomcreek @bebx @blackbirdofasgard @monicashipslokius @amadness2method

[fridayfirefly]

crushed petals, shattered glass, and other broken things

Read crushed petals, shattered glass, and other broken things on AO3

Masterlist

For Maribat March Day 17 - Court of Owls

Marinette was twelve years old, and she was a knife. Delicate in her looks, deceiving in her appearance, Marinette was the most dangerous weapon in the arsenal of the Court of Owls. She was an assassin. She was a spy. She was clever, cunning, versatile. Most importantly, she was a knife, a sharp tool to be used to inflict violence. It was a role that suited her well. Marinette was training to become the Talon of the Court of Owls, and she was untouchable.

-----

Marinette was thirteen years old, and she wanted to know how she came to be. Procreation was easy to understand scientifically, but part of Marinette's brain objected to the idea that she had two parents. Marinette was a knife, and knives were forged by hammer and fire, sharpened to a point by tools so that it might become a tool itself. Marinette could not have come from something as human as love. Love has no role in the creation of a knife.

To settle the conflict, Marinette did what she did best - she snooped around, gathered intel, and created the most likely version of events. From what she could tell, her Grandmother, an associate of the Court of Owls but not an actual member, betrayed the Court. As punishment, Marinette was taken away from her family to be raised by the Court. Marinette's surname, kept hidden from her for thirteen years, was Dupain-Cheng.

The very concept of a surname was blasphemous. Marinette had no family. She belonged to the Court of Owls. And yet, sometimes at night, when she was alone in the dark, Marinette mouthed the words, Marinette Dupain-Cheng. Something deep within her stirred.

-----

Marinette was fourteen years old, and she was supposed to kill the whole family. The mother and father, Marinette knew she could kill, but to kill their three children felt inhumane. The youngest wasn't even a year old. Marinette had completed hundreds of missions identical to this one. Sneak in, poison the food, sneak out, wait for the obituary in the newspaper in a day or two. However, this time Marinette couldn't do it.

Marinette cut the tracking chip out of her neck, crushed it beneath her boot, and disappeared into the shadows of the city. It was entirely unplanned, the only reason that Marinette was able to escape. Marinette didn't know much about life in the outside world, but she knew that it had to be better than the alternative, spending the rest of her life as a tool of the Court of Owls.

What Marinette didn't know was that the city she was disappearing into had a certain reputation. Soon, as she learned the true nature of Gotham, Marinette would wish that she stayed with the Court.

-----

Marinette was fifteen years old, and she now knew the true depravity of man. There was so much tragedy on the streets of Gotham. Some of the tragedies Marinette was able to prevent. Knives, after all, are just as good at preventing violence as they are at inflicting it. For other tragedies, Marinette was only able to witness the aftermath. For the victims, she had nothing to give. Knives can only hurt, they cannot heal.

Marinette loathes Gotham, a hatred that burns through her down to her core. In the Court of Owls, violence was planned. On the streets of Gotham, violence was random. It was so much worse. But a safer city would be more dangerous for Marinette, who needed deep shadows to hide in.

Marinette lived on the streets. She knew that she could pickpocket enough money to rent an apartment. It would be easy, the roughest slums of Gotham, to find someone willing to rent to a child, so long as they had the money. But Marinette's fear and pain had nothing to do with the physical conditions of living on the streets. It was all psychological. The horrors that Marinette had seen haunted her like a ghost.

The worst incident was Hannah, whose death shattered Marinette to her very core. Hannah was only seventeen years old, only two years older than Marinette herself. Marinette didn't know much about the girl, other than that she was on the streets because her boyfriend had threatened to kill her and the police wouldn't do anything until there was physical proof. Except, the way Hannah explained it was that the police wouldn't get involved until she was already dead. Marinette had offered to protect the older girl, but she shooed her away. Hannah told Marinette that she wouldn't let anything happen to herself. She told Marinette that she was tough.

Evidently, Hannah wasn't tough enough for the streets of Gotham. Marinette cried over the body for thirty minutes, cried so hard for so long that she knew she wasn't a knife anymore. Knives would never cry. Knives would cut right back. But Marinette was so sick of violence, so she cried and cried. Eventually, she knocked on the door of a house down the street, asking to borrow a phone to call the police and report a murder. Hannah's body was taken away. The police were ambivalent, they didn't even ask Marinette for a statement. To the police, Hannah was another victim of Gotham and there was nothing anyone could do about it.

This world was so deeply and terribly bad that Marinette didn't know how the rest of the world could survive it. Marinette didn't know if she wanted to survive it.

-----

Marinette was sixteen years old, and she finally got herself involved in the vigilante side of Gotham. Before Red Hood entered the scene, Crime Alley was a mess of villains and vigilantes, in a constant battle between chaos and order. Marinette never got involved. She had spent many years as a weapon, long enough to learn that a weapon can only harm and can never heal.

Red Hood toed the line between villain and vigilante. His network of crime was more civilized than any other the other organizations vying for control of Gotham. He kept the streets safe by keeping the most dangerous players in line. Marinette had to admit, he did more good for Crime Alley than Gotham's actual police force.

Still, that didn't mean that Marinette wanted to get involved. She preferred to keep to herself, keep out of the way, and keep in the shadows. It was safer that way.

That November evening when Marinette met Red Hood was cold. The rain that had come in the afternoon had frozen to ice. Marinette shivered as she sat in the alleyway, back against the brick wall, arms wrapped around her knees, hugging herself into a tight little ball. Winter was fast approaching, and Marinette knew that she needed to find better shelter.

Marinette hadn't been quick enough. Marinette should have fled the alley as soon as she saw the three brutish men start walking down it, but she was so cold she wasn't sure if she would be able to get her feet to move. By the time Marinette had gotten her feet under her to stand up, the three men were surrounding her.

The man in the middle leered at her. "You look cold. Why don't you come with us? We'll keep you warm."

There wasn't a trace of a question in his voice. It was a command. However, Marinette knew what happened to the girls who took up the offer, so she vigorously shook her head. She would rather freeze to death than join him in his bed.

"That wasn't a question," he growled, reaching down to grab her and pull her to her feet.

"I wouldn't touch her if I were you," an unfamiliar voice piped up from farther down the alley. "I just might have to remove your hand if you do."

"Red Hood! I was just helping the girl to her feet. I swear I wasn't going to do anything to her." The man sounded terrified, and for good reason. The punishment that Red Hood chose for rapists was well known for its brutality.

"You should leave," snapped Red Hood. The men hurried out of the alleyway, running without looking back. Marinette watched them go, relief rushing through her.

"Do you have somewhere to stay?" Red Hood asked, offering Marinette a hand to help her to her feet.

Marinette shook her head, squeezing herself into a tighter ball.

"I can take you to the nearest homeless shelter or I can take you to the nearest of my safehouses until I set you up in something permanent."

"I'm fine here," mumbled Marinette. It was the first time she had spoken in weeks. Her own voice sounded foreign to her.

Red Hood scoffed. "You'll freeze to death out here. It's either a homeless shelter or a safehouse. I don't leave girls out on the streets. Not in Gotham. Not in Crime Alley."

Marinette shivered, feeling more than miserable. It was obvious that she wasn't going to be able to convince Red Hood to leave her. A homeless shelter might need identification, which Marinette didn't have. Going to his safehouse was her best bet. "Safehouse."

Red Hood pulled Marinette to her feet. "Alright, safehouse it is. Mind telling me your name?"

"Marinette."

"No last name?"

Marinette shook her head. She hadn't earned a surname yet.

Red Hood took her back to the safehouse and got her settled, bringing over groceries every week as he tried to tempt her into giving him more information about herself. Marinette was reticent to tell him about her past. She doubted that he would still trust her enough to leave her alone if he learned that she used to work as an assassin.

However, Marinette couldn't keep that secret for very long. Two months after meeting Red Hood, as she waited in the kitchen for him to arrive with his weekly delivery of groceries, Marinette was caught off guard as a dark figure burst through the door and attacked her. Marinette didn't want to fight the dark-haired girl, but to be honest she couldn't see any other option, considering the other girl attacked first. The girl was skilled and Marinette was out of practice, after two years away from the Court. The best she could do was hold the other girl off while she tried to figure out an escape plan.

Red Hood came in the front door, which was already ajar from the entrance of the other girl. "Black Bat, stop! Marinette is my guest here," shouted Red Hood over the commotion of the fight.

Black Bat ceased her offensive, falling back into a defensive crouch. She pointed one finger at Marinette and accused, "Talon."

Marinette cringed back. "Not anymore. Never, ever again."

Red Hood stared at Marinette in shock. "You were an assassin?"

Marinette nodded miserably, wishing she could be anywhere else. She should have escaped the safehouse when she had the chance, but her stupid brain decided that Red Hood's safehouse would be a good place as any to spend the winter months.

"Cass? Jason? Why was the door left open...?" The civilian man who walked through the open door stared at the scene in front of him in confusion.

"Aliases, Grayson!" exclaimed Red Hood, or, Jason as he had just been named. Jason took off his mask, casting it aside as he ran his hand through his hair with a groan. "Black Bat, you take Marinette back to the bedroom and help her put bruise cream on wherever you managed to hit her. Grayson, you're coming with me back to the cave so we can explain this situation to you-know-who." Jason almost reached the door before he let out a loud swear "Fuck! I cannot believe that I have to be the responsible one here."

As Jason and his friend left the safehouse, Marinette followed Black Bat - Cass - down the hallway to the bedroom. "Sit," ordered Cass, pointing towards the bed as she starting digging through the bathroom cabinet, looking for bruise cream.

Marinette stripped off her shirt so that Cass could get to the bruises. The only significant hit was a kick to the chest that knocked the breath out of Marinette. It was already turning yellow. Marinette poked it and grimaced at the twinge of pain that followed.

"Don't worry," said Cass as she started to rub the medicine onto Marinette's chest. "Jason will keep you safe."

Cass wasn't lying. Whatever Jason said or did in the hours that he was gone that day, it worked. Two days later, Marinette was moving into Wayne Manor.

Jason explained it all to her on the drive over. "Bruce - Batman - doesn't want an ex-assassin living on the streets in Crime Alley, especially not one in possession of compromising information about our identities. Given that you've already taken the first step towards reformation, Bruce is pretty confident that you're safe to live in the house. He'll help you get back on your feet, get you a new identity, an education, or anything you need."

Marinette froze for a moment, then wrapped Jason up in a hug. It was her first hug and it was better than she expected. "Thank you."

-----

Marinette was seventeen years old, and she finally had a family. The Wayne household was a chaotic place. Marinette used to think that she hated chaos, but she could now see the appeal. Coffee at midnight with Tim, practicing acrobatics with Dick, racing motorcycles with Jason, rescuing farm animals with Damian - none of it was normal, and because of that, Marinette loved it. However, when things got overwhelming and Marinette needed a break from the chaos, she always knew where to go.

Cass was one of the only quiet Waynes (the other being Alfred). In fact, she barely spoke at all. Marinette had learned that she and Cass had quite a few similarities in the nature of their childhoods. They were both taken from at least one of their parents, both raised to be assassins from a young age, both were isolated from the rest of society. Where they differed was the particulars of their education. Cass was raised without language, and she only learned how to speak after she escaped from her father's grasp.

One night, after a patrol that led to Marinette stumbling upon a body that reminded her of Hannah from all those years ago, Marinette walked through the halls of the Manor to Cass's bedroom. All anyone wanted was for Marinette to talk about it. Cass was the only person who wouldn't make that demand of Marinette.

Marinette knocked on the door, two quiet little knocks. Cass cracked open the door, then gestured for Marinette to come inside. Marinette settled down on the couch in the corner, trying to pick out the questions that she wanted to ask Cass. There were so many questions, but Marinette knew that only a few of them were worth asking. They sat in silence for a while, Marinette so lost in thought that she almost forgot that Cass was there, too. Finally, Marinette settled on the question. "Do you ever wish that you could change the past?"

Cass was silent, deep in thought for a few moments before she shook her head. "No."

"Not even if it meant that you could have had a normal childhood?"

"I had a hard childhood," Cass acknowledged. "I like where I ended up. I wouldn't be here without my childhood."

Marinette had one last question to ask. "If you're able to speak now, why do you barely talk."

"I learned to speak," agreed Cass, going silent for a moment before continuing. "I have become proficient at using words to deliver information but I lack the skill to converse with others. I find it difficult to use any more words than necessary. For that reason, people do not like talking to me. I do not talk to those who do not want to talk to me."

"I like talking to you," said Marinette, squeezing Cass's hand. "I can talk enough for the both of us. You don't mind my talking, do you?"

Cass shook her head. "I find your words tolerable. Sometimes even pleasant."

It was a high compliment from Cass. Marinette smiled. "May I hug you?"

Cass nodded, and Marinette wrapped her dearest friend up in a hug.

-----

Marinette was eighteen years old, and it was time for her to create a new identity for herself.

"Do you want a surname?" asked Bruce.

Marinette stared at the screen. There were three options in front of here. The first, to remain nameless. The second, to take on the name she was born with, Dupain-Cheng in remembrance of her parents and the childhood she never got to have. The third, to move on entirely from her past and embrace the future. "Wayne. Marinette Wayne."

@maribatmarch-2k21

[fallingtowers]

btvs season 2 episodes ranked

ok i warned you guys i was gonna do this and now i’m gonna do it!!! i’m rewatching btvs and i thought i’d follow up my ranking of s1 episodes that i did like years ago with my official ranking of the s2 episodes from worst to best. it’s much harder to do this for s2 onwards because the seasons are longer and the overall quality of the writing is much more even, but i feel pretty good about this list nonetheless. alright here we go

20. episode 12, “bad eggs”: of course this episode was gonna come in last. everything about it is stupid. the premise is stupid. the execution is stupid. the cowboy vampires are stupid

19. episode 11, “ted”: ughhh. man. ok, like, this episode makes a very important point about how if you’re a kid who’s being abused it can be really hard to even get people to believe you. unfortunately they forgot to also make the episode entertaining. the whole “something is wrong with the person my loved one is dating and i’m the only one who sees that” plot is mega trite. nothing that happens in this episode even really affects the overarching plot of the season. eminently skippable

18. episode 20, “go fish”: HOW is this dumbfuck episode so late in the season? were the writers like “hey things are heating up with angel. we’ve really got some narrative momentum going. i know what we should do. we should put the prison break guy in a gill-man suit”

17. episode 2, “some assembly required”: this is a dumb bland monster-of-the-week episode, but unlike “go fish” it at least occupies a reasonable position in the season for an episode of its caliber. it left me with a lot of questions, like: why in hell did they feel the need to dig up those graves just to see if the corpses were still down there? what did the creepy photographer guy have to do with anything? and, most importantly, who put angel in that ugly fucking beige jacket?

16. episode 4, “inca mummy girl”: dumb as hell. i hate it when xander is horny. also, at one point buffy is like hey maybe this south american foreign exchange student can translate these ancient incan runes? maybe she’s just kind of got that knowledge on lock despite ostensibly being 16? and fucking everybody in the room acts like it’s a reasonable thing to say

15. episode 9, “what’s my line (part 1)” & episode 10, “what’s my line (part 2)”: starts out kind of lackluster and quickly devolves into abject stupidity. kendra is probably the dumbest character on the entire show, which is a real shame given that she’s one of the show’s few characters of color, and one of its even fewer heroic ones. the worm guy is cool in concept but not in execution. also his name is “fister” lol

14. episode 5, “reptile boy”: why do they keep making buffy be attracted to these receding-hairline-ass middle-aged bitches. are we just supposed to accept this?? the scene where willow calls out giles and angel fucking rules though. i love willow so much

13. episode 8, “the dark age”: i mean i love a glimpse into giles’s past, i just wish it weren’t done in such a bland way. this episode also loses points because the resolution is so stupid in both concept and execution.

12. episode 13, “surprise”: can a vampire get a boner? would a vampire boner be cold? would you have to run the boner in the microwave for a few seconds before putting it in? anyway, the buffy/angel relationship fucking sucks and it’s never sucked more than here. this episode is basically just a setup for the much better “innocence”

11. episode 18, “killed by death”: buffy goes to the second-scariest hospital in the world, where she chugs flu water and fights nicky nine doors. this episode is very atmospheric and the monster’s gimmick is clever and unique, but it’s baffling to me that this is what they decided to follow up “passion” with. angel is barely even in this one!!

10. episode 15, “phases”: buffy and the gang face off against the second-scariest fursuit in the world. i appreciate how this episode manages to be a gimmicky monster-of-the-week thing while also developing the characters and moving the main plot forward. the punchline of the xander and larry subplot is so cheap but so funny

9. episode 1, “when she was bad”: the way the show keeps pretending the master was anything resembling an imposing villain is kind of silly, but it makes a lot of sense in character. btvs’s writing is at its best when it acknowledges that buffy is very young and that the stuff she goes through is bound to leave scars. the actual plot of this one is forgettable, and the anointed fuckin sucks, but the emotional beats hit so nice

8. episode 14, “innocence”: thank god they made angel evil. not only is the buffy/angel stuff deeply uncomf, angel as a good guy is sooo boring. angel as a villain is hammy and fun. the best part of this episode though is the way buffy takes out the judge with a rocket launcher, in a crowded mall, and there are no casualties and no structural damage. god i love this show

7. episode 16, “bewitched, bothered and bewildered”: although this episode could stand to be less horny, it’s so good and funny. btvs is really good at knowing exactly which beats to hit to make a strong premise as entertaining as possible, and this episode is an example of that.

6. episode 21, “becoming (part 1)” & episode 22, “becoming (part 2)”: the longer season kind of works against the writers here—they had room to let the finale sprawl and, by jove, they did. the result is a not especially tight two-parter which nonetheless has its share of banger moments, such as: any scene with drusilla; spike meeting buffy’s mom; the final confrontation between buffy and angel; the ending. all in all it’s not bad but it could’ve been better.

5. episode 3, “school hard”: god this is such a fun episode. it introduces spike and drusilla; the gimmick of buffy having to take charge and save everyone during parent-teacher night is super entertaining; principal snyder is good and funny throughout. and, to top it all off, spike does everyone a favor and finally kills off the anointed.

4. episode 19, “i only have eyes for you”: maybe i’m biased but i looove a haunting. i love a ghost story. unlike the other weirdly-placed late-game monster-of-the-week episodes, this one does some really interesting stuff with its premise and ties it into the bigger picture of the season. the parallels it draws between the ghost couple and buffy and angel are really powerful

3. episode 7, “lie to me”: this is a good-ass episode. ford works where so many other one-off characters fall flat, and the gimmick of the vampire wannabe club is really fun. the confrontation between buffy and ford whips ass. also, spike and dru rule. love to see em.

2. episode 17, “passion”: god what a fuckin banger. a little melodramatic, but it hits so nice. angel gets to really chew the scenery, and ends up feeling like a really threatening villain for once. the scenes between buffy and giles at the end are heartbreaking. again, though, this episode’s placement in the season is weird—it feels like it’s gonna kick off the endgame, and then is immediately followed by a handful of inconsequential monster-of-the-week episodes. could’ve easily been the #1 episode in the season if not for its kind of slow middle part, and the way all the momentum it’s built up just kinda ends up going nowhere.

1. episode 6, “halloween”: this one is so fun!!! an excellent gimmick, executed well. it’s a fun first glimpse into giles’s past, and the first episode to feature ethan rayne. also, spike and dru rule. LOVE to see em. this episode isn’t one of the season’s big moments and it doesn’t really hit any big emotional beats, but it wins out just by virtue of being extremely entertaining and well-written. it is just simply a good time

[douxspider]

— 𝐩𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐲 𝐤𝐞𝐞𝐧.

‘ARVIN RUSSELL x READER INSERT’

( potential spoilers for “the devil all the time” ) —  Reader is new to town, working at a bakery ran by a kind old lady. Getting used to the ropes of the city, a man in blue arrives unsettled, holding a bloody rag against his knuckles and shivering just slightly. (occurs after arvin approaches the three bullies.) 

warnings: blood, mentioned alcohol abuse, bullying. word count: 2,330 published: 9/17/20 ao3 link — part 2, 3

— — • — —

You didn’t ask for much in life. You didn’t want much. Your entire life you let the sea take you where it wanted to take you, and if it brought you to a flourishing island with the most beautiful sunsets and the softest sand, you let it. If it wanted to take you to the dangerous, icy hurricanes where waves clashed and thrown against each other and you drowned in the salty depth, you let it.

You don’t have a will, the town would mock you.

You were new to Ohio, originally coming from New York, and they liked to call you city girl. Your accent was more urban compared to the rural dialect around you. You stuck out like a sore thumb. The community grew together, knew everyone’s names, and when a random strange girl with only a plastic bag of clothes arrived at the nearest motel, it was all the rage.

Luckily, you managed to find a sweet baker lady to take you in. She had a plump figure, rosy cheeks, and graying auburn hair that spoke of pies and sunshine. Her name was Marilyn McCann, she was in her late 50s, and she had lost her two dear sons in the Vietnam war, her husband previously passing from health complications. Marilyn opened the baker, naming it McCann Boys in honor of them.

You were seated behind the counter on a stool, picking at a lemon and poppyseed muffin, placing chunks of the bread in your mouth and eating slowly. It was a quiet day, rain splattering against the window, most people wanted to bake indoors.

While you fidgeted with the book in your lap, idly reading it, you heard the bell ring. You glanced up, and instead of the man moving to the counter, he only took a seat by the window, a rag covering his knuckles as his hat hid his face. He refused to return your eye contact, which was used as a silent method of do you want me to come to you?

You were running the shop alone. You couldn’t ask Marilyn who this strange fellow was. You had to take the initiative.

Getting up from your seat, the stool groaned against the hardwood beneath you, and you made your way towards him. He was bouncing his jean-clad leg excessively, winding the rag around his tightened fist. There were dark stains on it, but you paid it no mind.

“Sir?”

The man twitched his head in your direction, his cap revealing only an inch more of his face before moving back down to the table. “Yeah?” His voice was low, a bit hoarse.

You leaned to the side a bit, crossing your arms, crooking a brow upwards. “You good?”

“Yeah, ah,” he spoke, moving his chin upwards to look at you, and he stopped. You did as well, a silent, complex tension thick between the two of you, before he continued, “Just uh… needed to sit down, s’all. Do I…” he cleared his throat after a voice crack, “do I need to buy somethin’?”

Shaking your head, you gave a quiet, slow, “No.”

Taking a better look at his hands, you noticed it was blood on the rag. So, he was getting that post-fight clarity. You moved to the back and grabbed some pure alcohol you and Marilyn liked to keep, pouring only a bit on a clean washing rag, before heading back to the mysterious man’s location. Taking his hands, he gave a quiet noise of surprise as you tore open his fingers from the old rag and placed it to the side.

“Lady, what are you— ow! Shit...”

Lightly sponging the rag against his knuckles, you then placed the new cloth in his hands, taking a seat in front of him.

The man in front of you seemed somewhat offended, clutching onto the rag and padding it over his knuckles, but also giving you a scowl. “The hell you do that for…? ‘Didn’t need that, I can take care of myself.”

“So, what’d the man do? Pissing contest taken too far?”

He removed the cloth from his hand and wrung his knuckles together, and you stared at the scabs. “Maybe you should keep your nose where it belongs, darlin’.”

You hummed, leaning over the table and resting your bare arms against the surface, looking out the stormy window. “Y’seem like a sweet girl,” the man spoke up, catching your attention, “but that kinda behavior here… askin’ too many questions, it can get ‘ya hurt.”

Eyeing him up and down, you tilted your head so it nearly rested on your shoulder. “Well… y’gonna hurt me, stranger?”

Brown eyes fogging over with clear distant memories, you watched his expression dampen, no longer seeming agitated but only conflicted. “No… no, I wouldn’t hurt ‘ya.” His voice was only a low grumble. “I was taught better than to hurt girls.”

Giving a hum as a response, you tapped your painted fingers against each other. “I’m not trying to be nosy,” you then confessed, “...just curious. Don’t hear much from this town regarding fist fights.”

“You’re the city girl?” With a wince, you nodded. “Ah.”

“That a bad thing, mister?” You asked, trying to analyze his expression. He seemed distant, staring off, before his eyes turned as round as saucers glancing at you.

“No, no, miss, I ain’t imply that. Lotta people know about you ‘round here, it’s rare for a cityfolk to come to this dot on the map,” he explained, “Just curious.”

Clearly that was an insinuation for you to indulge him on his question. Though, feeling smug, and honestly in your right, you told, “You tell me why you’re bleeding from your hands, I’ll tell you my harrowing tale of ending up in Ohio. How about that?”

Surprisingly, the stranger let out a quiet laugh. It was breathy, and for some odd reason you could tell he doesn’t do that often by the way it seemed foreign coming from him, the product from his lips being stopped with his mouth closing. “Fair. You’re good at this game, little lady.” He let his knuckles out into the open air before crossing his arms together, leaning back in the booth.

“My old man,” he started with a distant voice, grimacing at the latter, and you assumed there was a dark history there, “he taught me t’protect myself. To protect others. Now, he was no layabout, he was straight outta the war,” the stranger chuckled, “if anyone tried anythin’, he wouldn’t let ‘em. He taught me that with physical expression.” The jean jacket around his arms got tightened with his whitening grip. “Now, y’see, lotta folk in this town ain’t kind. They ain’t acceptin’, they don’t like new things. They don’t like concepts.”

You listened quietly, feeling your heart slow its pace within your chest, trying to silence itself to take in every word. “I got a sister. Step-sister. She’s sweet, but she ain’t like the others. They don’t like that.”

His jaw tightened as he looked out the window, his blue cap shading his eyes. “...Had t’put an end to it.”

An understanding finally settled in your head. You fiddled with the apron draped around your legs, chin tilted downwards as you took in the information. You looked back at him. “...That’s a good thing.”

“What?” He glanced at you from the corner of his eye.

“Protecting your sister. That’s a good thing.” You could tell he felt guilty only slightly, perhaps he was scared of himself, scared of what he did. “I never had a sibling growing up,” you told, “having someone there to protect me would’ve done me wonders.” The stranger moved his hand up to his mouth, rubbing the side of his index finger against his chin. You gave a weak smile. “People aren’t too kind here to me, so I don’t need to fantasize your sister’s reality. I can’t imagine what it must be like to be outcasted from your own town like that. Your sister must be a kind soul, being thrown to the wolves like sheep like that.” You shook your head. “It’s not right. I think you did what you had to do. Sometimes that’s the best you can do.”

He was staring at you, and you couldn’t help but to wonder if you said too much. If you were prying too much. You had never met this man before, he could’ve just killed someone for all you know for no rhyme or reason, he could be a sociopath, luring his next victim, but you trusted your gut on saying that this man was right in what he did.

The corner of his lips quirked upwards and he gave a quiet exhale through his nose, nodding his head before glancing at you, head tilted downwards. “Now, your story. Fair trade, little lady.”

With an amused smile, you shrugged. “Came from New York, had no ties. Father ditched when I was still learning my ABCs, mama abused alcohol, that’s what wound her up in the grave. Took that as my sign to go.” You recalled the dirty poor Manhattan streets you grew up on. “Manhattan… it’s a busy city. Too busy. No one knows ‘ya, but they assume they do.” You pointed at him to exaggerate, closing an eye, “If you’re in the wrong neighborhood, that’s what you are now. Wrong. I was a wrong, poor girl with no faith.”

“No faith?” The stranger asked.

“Faith didn’t keep me alive there. Only money.”

He nodded slowly. “Surprised to see someone here not lookin’ to God.”

You clasped your hands together and shrugged. “Well, when he brings me something nice, I’ll go to church.” Glimpsing up at him, you asked, “Do you have faith?”

“Only for my grandmama and sister. I ain’t got no interest listenin’ to a man for hours.”

“You seem like a family man, mister.” You smiled, leaning back. “Are they the only reason you’re here?”

A moment of hesitance resulted from him. “Yeah.”

You decided not to press further.

Taking in the quiet rain, you tapped your hands on the table beneath you three times and stood up, placing your hands on your hips. “Well, mister, do you drink coffee?”

He seemed so small in the booth, huddled up with his arms crossed, brown eyes that were no longer iced over with memories, but instead focused on you with a round childish charm to them. “Ah… yeah, I do.”

Smiling with a nod, you headed and started up the yellow coffee machine. You looked back at him, saw him staring out the window, and you finished up the mug of coffee and gave it to him, hot. Sitting in front of him with your muffin, you both indulged in your delicacies in a peaceful silence.

When his coffee was just about gone, he asked, “Mind if I smoke in ‘ere?” He wondered, and you gave him permission.

“Sure. The only thing I’m concerned about is the gross taste coffee and tobacco must have together,” Wrinkling your nose at the thought, the man laughed, amused as he placed a cigarette in his mouth and used a lighter.

He puffed in the smoke and then removed the cigarette from his mouth, pulling over an ashtray that rested on the table. Blowing through the thin slit between his lips, he murmured, “Arvin.”

“Hm?” You asked, wiping off your hands on your apron from crumbs.

“My name is Arvin Russell.”

Blinking at him, you smiled, testing out his name carefully. “Hi, Arvin. I’m Y/N L/N.”

Arvin seemed a little shy, his cap hiding most of his face before he moved his head up just slightly, catching your eye, pointing out, “‘Like that name. Suits you. A pretty name for a pretty girl.”

A little flustered, you pinched your bare lips together before giving out a breathy chuckle. He moved his cigarette to his lips, watching you closely, inhaling the smoke. “You’re sweet.”

Arvin smiled, the paper-wrapped cancer stick between his lips, he pulled it out with a quick huff and said, “You’re the sweet girl talkin’ to bloody strangers sulking in the corner of your shop and givin’ em free coffee, Y/N.” He was staring at the window when he said this, but his head turned towards you, relaxed against the seat behind him, tapping the ashes into the ashtray. “Y’deserve better than this place.”

Feeling overwhelmed with all the positive comments— you didn’t receive many— you tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear. “Well, Arvin, I think you deserve good things, too.”

Arvin gazed at you, a soft expression on his face before checking his watch. “Have to head home.” You both stood and you began to clean up. Arvin went up to the counter and gave a few dollars, and you stared at the money, gawking before giving a nervous smile and shaking your head.

“You don’t need to do that, Mr. Russell—”

“Arvin was doin’ just fine, sweet girl,” Arvin said with a smile. “Y’helped me out today. Thank you. Genuinely. I wanna pay back however I can.”

You took the money cautiously, feeling shy.

“Take that money for yourself. Buy yourself another pretty dress,” he said, eyeing the one you wore and tipping his hat. He was about to leave before he turned, hand flat against the glass, the other tucking his old rag into his coat pocket and gazing at you. “...We’ll be seein’ each other again, Y/N.”

Feeling overrun with flustered emotions, you smiled and said, “I would sure hope so, Arvin. I liked having you around.”

Arvin looked to the side, murmuring, “Likewise.”

You were left in the silence of the bakery, the rain turning into a light mist outside. Pressing your lips together, you changed your weight from foot to foot, turning to lean your back against the counter and giving a sigh.

Each encounter with him from then on would slowly grow into something more.

[padme-parker]

Collide / Anakin Skywalker x Reader (Chapter 6)

[a Star Wars x Avengers crossover]

Summary: You go to Onderon and meet someone you’ve been longing to see. Another call to home ensues and hearts get broken.

Warnings: angst, maybe cursing, I can’t think of anything else. oh and bad plot lmao

WC: 4.0k

A/N: this isn’t proof read so it might be scuffed. 

read chapter 5 here

C O R U S C A N T

After the nightmares began, Anakin was rarely around, only making you more susceptible to the dark side. You truly did want to tell him about what had been keeping you up at night, but how were you going to contact him when he was never around and the connection the two of you shared was seemingly cut off? You weren’t able to feel his emotions nor feel his presence. It was as if he had blocked you off, almost like he was dead, but he wasn’t. You knew that he went on more campaigns as he was barely spending time in the temple, wanting to stay as far away from you. And if the two of you ever were in the same room by sheer luck, he pretended that you didn’t exist.

On days where both Anakin and Obi Wan were gone, you trained with a girl named Xin. In a way, she reminded you of the mandalorian Sabine: intelligent, strong, and creative. She was skilled with her lightsaber, but also greatly skilled in hand to hand combat, making her an excellent training partner. When all three of them were gone, you spent time learning binary after shortly being gifted a droid. R2-KT, or Kaytee as you liked to call her, accompanied you on your walks around the Jedi temple, often telling you random facts about it or Coruscant.

As time passed, you noticed how the council became weary of your presence. After noticing the color of your saber, which wasn’t hard to miss, the Jedi Masters seemed to focus their attention on you whenever you were in the room with them. You would have liked to believe that you had begun to earn their trust, but you understood their cautiousness towards you. Hell, you would’ve probably reacted the same way if someone came to Earth using a big stone hidden in the middle of nowhere claiming that the fate of the universe rested in their hands.

The halls of the temple were empty- excluding the sentinels- as you roamed around with Kaytee at your side. It was still so surreal being in the Jedi temple. Six months ago you were on Earth, spending time with your family. It seemed so long ago since you were first introduced to Star Wars.

You were foreign to the concept of bonding, spending time with your peers. After spending almost 17 years in foster care, you learned to not attach yourself. To become cold, detached, and observant of your surroundings. With your arrival to the tower, it became a shock to you when you found out that the team spent time together willingly. Some nights they played games like Uno and Cards Against Humanity. You would always sit in the corner and watch them, not comfortable enough to be engaging with them in such a way like that. On the nights where they watched movies, you would always sit in the furthest seat away from the group. It stayed like that until Peter started coming to the bonding nights.

Due to the fact that he was still young, he stayed with his Aunt May. Only coming to the tower to help Tony with his projects. So it was a surprise to see him there, but you couldn’t help feel more comfortable knowing that someone else your age was there.

“So, what’re we watching tonight?” He asked. The team let out a couple of groans, unsure of what they were getting into. “How about we watch Star Wars? I bet you those two grandpas haven’t seen it yet.”

“Hey! Watch it, Peter.” Steve said, putting his hand over his heart to feign hurt. All it took for him to apologize was one glance at Bucky. “Sorry Mister Winter- uhh James- Bucky-- no. Sir Barnes. And Steve.”

He goes to sit down, but before he does, he takes a survey of the room. He notices you sitting alone on the couch, “Hey, why don’t you come sit closer?” He asked. You shake your head, telling him that you were alright where you were. “What about you? Have you seen Star Wars?” You quickly shake your head, you see Peter’s eyes widen and he takes off to sit in the empty spot next to you.

“OMG. WHAT? How have you never seen the movies?”

“Not everyone has the privilege to have a normal childhood. I just so happened to be one of those kids.” You informed him.

“Right, sorry.” He apologized, his hand awkwardly scratching the back of his neck. “I’m sure you’ll love the movies though.”

Peter was right. After watching A New Hope, the team had retired to their respective rooms, but the two of you had stayed up all night finishing the movies. After watching all three trilogies, you had a new found obsession, especially for a certain Skywalker. Even though some people thought that Anakin was a bad character, and sure the script was really bad, you really did love him. So when he betrayed Obi Wan to save Padme, your heart couldn’t help but break. Poor man was so whipped for the pussy :( I guess you could call it to die for.

Although your time on Coruscant was limited, you did your best to enjoy it. The six months you had spent here so far had been a gift. The environment was truly mesmerizing, and you wanted to share it with Peter. You tried not to call him often, the time difference was just slightly confusing. While six months might’ve passed for you, it had only been a month for your family back home.

You were broken out of your reverie by the buzzing of your holocom, requesting your presence in the council room. Making your way into the room, you told Kaytee to wait by the doors. You stood in the middle of the room with your hands clasped behind your back, waiting for them to address you.

“Nice to see you it is.” Master yoda said. “A task for you, we have.”

A task? What could they possibly want you to do? There was no way they’d be sending you on a mission, they never did.

“We want you to travel to Onderon. They are celebrating their liberation from the separatists. I don’t know why but Anakin and Obi Wan would like for you to be present-” Before Mace can finish his sentence he is cut off.

“I believe what Master Windu is trying to say is that they would both like for you to experience what our galaxy has to offer.” Shaak Ti answered for him. “There will be other Jedi there too, but you will be traveling on your own.” She said. “Oh, and please keep in mind, this celebration is also being held in remembrance for Steela, their fallen leader.”

“Understood, may I leave now?” Master Yoda gave you a nod, allowing you to leave. You made your way to the hangar, Kaytee following close behind you. Well, it looks like it was time to see Anakin again.

-

O N D E R O N

Your journey to Onderon is short, but you take the time to fiddle with Kaytee. Cleaning her up to make her look presentable. Weeks after you were gifted the droid, you took the time to fix her up and reprogram her to your liking. With the touch of a button, you could make her record a hologram, send her your location, or gouge out someone's eye if needed. You truly did love your droid, and you thanked the stars that Stark taught you how to code, program, and build trinkets of your own.

Kaytee lands the ship with a heavy thud, “I know you're excited to see Artoo, but we need to be careful with this ship. It’s not ours.” You told her, and in return you get a series of apologetic beeps. The door opens with a hiss, you signal for Kaytee to follow you. Stepping off, you notice all of the other ships outside of Iziz. It was like all the entirety of the galactic senate was here, which you really didn’t doubt. You felt out of place in your Jedi robes. People were arriving in magnificent, mind blowing outfits. Gowns with tails that trailed far behind them and tuxes with flowy capes. This ball was going to have it all.

The bustle of the market only intensified with the oncomers. You had to make your way to the temple before you got distracted. By the time you reached the temple doors, the crowd lessened, or so you thought. Entering the temple, you were greeted at the sight of hundreds of people. You felt blood rush to your cheeks as people began to turn and stare at you. Screw the Jedi Council for not giving me a nice outfit to change into. Just as you were about to turn around and wander through the market, you heard your voice being called out. You tried to find where the sound was coming from, only to get confused and jolt your head around violently as if you were a loth cat.

“Alyra! Over here!.” Your feet began moving on their own accord. As if you were being drawn to a presence. You come to a screeching halt in front of.. Anakin, of course it's him. Why am I not surprised that the force has literally brought me to him? Along with Obi Wan, R2, and Padme. Oh my god, wait, it’s Padme. I could kiss her right now if I wanted to. But I won’t. That would be weird, won’t it. Kissing her in front of her husband, who is my-

“Alyra, are you alright?” Obi Wan asks, breaking you out of your internal ramble.

“Yeah, I was just...trying to take all of this in. I’ve never seen anything like this.” You responded, pretending to look around the temple.

“It seems like you space out a lot.” He jokes, a smile on his face before he realizes no one else is laughing. He rolls his eyes before continuing, “Anyways, welcome to Onderon. This is my good friend, Senator Padmé Amidala of Naboo.” He turns to face her while he introduces you to her. You hold out a hand, expecting for her to shake it. Instead she walks up to you and takes you within her hold. She hugs you tightly, you can feel her protruding belly.

“It’s so nice to finally meet you! Anakin has talked a lot about you.” Both you and Obi Wan furrow your brows at the mention of Anakin speaking of you. Padme is quick to notice this and corrects herself, “I mean of what he’s mentioned to me about you today. Right, Ani?” She validates.

“Yeah, only good things though.” He testified, avoiding your gaze. It was weird that he was mentioning you to his pregnant wife, what was there to talk about? Not to mention the fact that he had been avoiding your presence for months now.

You squinted your eyes at him, “I could only hope so, seeing as though we haven’t spoken in awhile.” you accused. What in the world is he up to now?

You can practically see the gears turning in his head as he tries to come up with a comeback, before he can utter a word, he’s interrupted by Padme.

“C’mon, let’s go to your room and get you changed.” Once again, you furrow your brows.

“Changed, what do you mean changed?” You ask her.

“What, did you think I’d just let you roam around the ball in those ugly Jedi robes? Come, I’ll let you borrow one of my dresses.” She drags you away by the arm, Anakin and Obi Wan shouting at her. Something about Jedi robes not being ugly, you couldn’t really hear with Padme’s giggles silencing them. Kaytee let’s out a giggle of her own as she follows you, Artoo’s personality rubbing off on her.

Padmé all but practically throws you onto your bed as she ushers one of her handmaidens, Teckla, to bring the dresses into your room. Teckla wheels in a rack filled with elegant looking dresses, along with a bunch of different heels. All looking like they could snap your ankle in half if you walked the wrong way. The first dress she hands you is body conforming up until it reaches your knees, from there it fans out creating a mermaid gown effect. While the dress itself was very beautiful, you thought of it to be too plain for an event like this. You and Padme both share a look before agreeing that this was in fact not the dress.

However, the next dress she hands you is a proper ball gown. You slip it on, taken aback by how heavy the dress was. She walks up behind you to tighten the corset of the gown. She does her best to tighten it up without hurting you, but you can’t help let out a wheeze as she gets closer to tying it off.

“Sorry, as much as I love this dress, I also hate it. I’m so glad I’m pregnant so I don’t have to feel it stabbing me at every given chance.” She said, breaking the silence.

“How many months are you?” You asked.

“I’m six months along now, almost seven.” She finishes tying up the corset before stepping aside. “What do you think?”

“Well, it certainly is fit for an event like this and I do think it’s beautiful. But it’s crushing me with every breath I take. I feel like if I sit down, I won’t be able to get back up.”

“Right, well I can fix that.” This time she takes her time picking out the next dress. She lets her fingers brush across the different fabrics, stopping at one that caught her eye. “Here, try this one!” She suggests. By the look on her face, you can already tell that this is the one. The dress is flowy and soft looking. You step into the dress, pleased to find yourself correct. It feels like you have nothing on. Padme helps you zip the dress up, along with clasping together the leather pieces. The light blue tulle layered over the dark blue, almost purple material complimented your skin tone. The dress had a deep v-neck, showing off your cleavage. Right below your collarbone laid a strap of leather, connecting to either side of your thick shoulder straps. From those straps, a thin piece of tulle was stitched on, giving you two separate mini capes for your arms. Aside from a strap of leather covering your spine, the dress is completely backless. It feels like you could go frolicking in this dress. Who am I kidding, Padme probably went frolicking in this dress with Anakin.

“So, what do you think?” Her tone is hushed, as if she was trying to figure out whether you hated or loved the dress.

“It’s beautiful. Absolutely beautiful.” You respond. “Kaytee, what do you reckon?” The droid let’s out a series of delights beeps, showing her contentment towards the dress.

“Great!” Padmé says before ushering you into a chair. “Now, we're going to do your hair and makeup. So sit still.” For once in your life, you shut up and sit still, allowing Padme to work her magic.

“Do you know the gender?” You asked, your question breaking the silence, and while the atmosphere wasn’t exactly awkward, it wasn’t comfortable either.

“Oh no, I’d rather not. It’s not like it matters to me anyways. As long as my child is happy and healthy, then so am I. But it’s ironic because I haven’t been to a check up yet.” Padme gently pulls your hair back, leaving two pieces in the front to frame your face. It was simple, not taking any attention away from the dress.

No check up? Maybe that’s why Padme didn’t know she was having twins. “So you haven’t seen a doctor or a medical droid yet?” Your eyes follow her as she pulls makeup out of her bag, her collection vast.

“No, not really. I don’t have very much time to myself due to the fact that I’m a part of the senate. But I do my best to make sure I stay healthy for my baby and me. I also just want it to be a surprise.” Padme finds a foundation shade similar to your skin tone and blends it in.

“What if you have twins? What will you do then?” You probably weren’t supposed to be asking her questions like these, but you couldn’t help it. Maybe you should’ve asked why she had so much makeup instead.

“Well..” She sighed while blotting powder all over your face. “..I suppose if it happens, then it happens. It’s the will of the force.” She finishes powdering your face before moving to your eyebrows. Padme takes an angled brow brush and begins to fill them in, giving it a naturally fuller look.

“So, you believe in the force?”

“How could I not? I work so closely with the Jedi, I’ve seen what you guys have done. The father is very close friends with the Jedi.” Padme said, implying that the father was in fact a Jedi. It felt like you were intruding, but then again, you weren’t necessarily forcing her to tell you this. You had only met her moments ago and she already trusted you enough with her secrets.

“Really? I thought the Jedi weren’t allowed to form attachments?”

“Oh… we weren’t really together. It was sort of a one night thing. But he’s going to be in the child’s life.” She covered up.

The conversation went on like that for a while before Padme announced that she was finished with you. After finishing your makeup and adding some finishing touches to your hair, she finally stepped aside, letting you see yourself in the mirror.

The second you saw yourself, your mouth fell open in shock. You looked absolutely ethereal. Padme kept your makeup very natural to bring out your features. She also added small, white flowers into your hair. You excitedly thanked her and got up to hug her as a way to show your gratitude.

“Shall we get going now?” She offered

“Oh, if it was alright with you, I was going to stay behind. I have to contact somebody.” You asked

“Of course, I’ll see you later then.” She said before gathering all of her belongings and leaving with Teckla. As Padme arrives, Anakin notices that you weren’t with her.

“Where’s Alyra?” He asked her, eager to see what she would look like out of her Jedi robes.

“She said she had to talk to someone.”

Meanwhile, in your room you were getting ready to call Peter. Honestly, you had no idea if you had connection on Onderon, but you were about to find out. Taking off your necklace, you were pleased to see the green light, indicating that you were indeed connected to the bridge. You scroll through your contacts before finding Peter’s name. You hit the dial button and wait for it to connect.

-

E A R T H

Peter is sleeping when he gets a call, the bracelet on his left hand vibrating. He thinks nothing of it and almost declines the call. That is until he realizes it’s you calling on the bracelet he had designated just for you. He jumps up from his sleeping position and quickly answers your call. Peter can’t help but let out a gasp of awe the very second your face pops onto the hologram.

“What? Is there something on my face?” You move closer towards the camera and inspect your face, only to find no flaws.

“Nothing...it’s just been so long since I’ve seen you like this.”

“Like what?” Your eyebrows scrunch together, the confusion clear on your face.

“All… dolled up.” Peter’s response makes your face blush a hot red. You let out a shy laugh as your hand comes to rest at the back of your neck. He was right, it had been so long since you’ve felt this pretty. It felt good, for once you had felt good.

“Thanks, Pete. It feels good to be in something other than Jedi robes.”

“Not that I’m saying you can’t be dressed up like this, but exactly why are you so dressed up?” He pondered, he knew it wasn’t like the Jedi to go about their duties in exquisite gowns.

“I’m actually on Onderon.” You pan the camera towards the view outside of your window. “The Jedi have invited me to a celebration of Onderon’s liberation. But also in memory of Steela I believe. I really wish you were here with me. I still don’t understand why they couldn’t have sent both of us.”

“I miss you too, but you know I have a duty here on Earth.”

“Duty? So did I Peter!”

“You know I didn’t mean it like that. With me being Spiderman-”

“It’s not like they don’t have any other superheroes. I mean come on, admit it! You know more about Star Wars than I possibly could. You should be here with me.” You huff out before changing the subject, “Anyways, how are you? Did you end up fixing things with MJ?”

“I’m fine, but no, we didn’t. We both agreed that we’d be better off as friends. Besides I’ve already moved on.” He confessed, awkwardly scratching the back of his neck. It’s now or never Peter, you’ve gotta tell her.

“Oh, I’m sorry to hear about your split. But hopefully you and this new person will work out-”

“It’s you.” He says, abruptly cutting you off. Peter watches you tilt your head as your brows scrunch together again.

“Excuse me?”

“It’s you,” He repeats, taking a deep breath before speaking again, “It’s always been you. I didn’t realize it until you had left… I didn’t think I could miss someone so much.”

“Peter…. I don’t know what to say.” You uttered out,

“Please, say something- anything.” He begged, hoping he hadn’t just ruined years of friendship. Peter watches as you open and close your mouth, searching for the right words.

“...I can’t.” You say as you shake your head. “I can’t be with you, Peter.”

“Why? Is it because of my age? Come on, Y/N, I’m only two years younger than you.” He pleads

“It’s not that. You’re just not the right person for me, Peter. I know it in my very soul.”

“Oh yeah? And who is, Anakin?” He taunts, he can feel his eyes water as he watches you look away from him. “No freakin’ way. You’ve got to be kidding me.” Peter lets out a scoff.

“You’ve got to understand Pete, I love him. I really do.”

“NO! You don’t love him. You’re just obsessed with him. You think you can save him but you can’t! No one can! You can’t change his destiny.”

“What do you even know about love? You can’t tell me who I can and can’t love. It doesn’t work like that. You know nothing about it-”

“I LOVE YOU!” He screams, breaking the silence in his Queen’s apartment, surely waking up May. “Why isn’t that enough?” Peter watches as tears slowly stream down your face as he lets out a few of his own.

“I’ve got to see this out until the end, you know that Peter...I could only wish that it was enough, but it’s not. You’re like a brother to me, don’t do this to me. To our friendship...I’ve got to go now.”

“No, you don’t get to leave again-”

“I’m sorry, goodbye, Peter.” You end the call and Peter is left staring at the wall, mouth hung open in shock. He couldn’t believe this just happened to him. He faintly makes out the sound of Aunt May knocking on his door.

Without waiting for a response, she cracks open his door. She takes notice of the tears falling off of his face and closes her mouth. Aunt May is silent as she makes her way across his room, holding her arms out for him. Peter gratuitously accepts her embrace, his sobs muffled by her clothes.

No words are spoken as Peter cries his heart out, never in a million years did he think you’d be the one to break him.

--

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