#the boy in white might be a different fairy too

[blackswallowtailbutterfly]

So anyway it's not showing up because it's a fairy child.

[jessilynallendilla]

HOME POST

FAE/CREATURE/NON HUMAN JASKIER  

I Am The Wild  T   

Years ago, Geralt meets a little boy befriending a monster. Years later, Geralt meets a bard. There's something familiar in the way he tries to keep Geralt from killing monsters. "Real monsters are human", he'd always say.  

The Shapes Of Us  T 33,142 SERIES  

Jaskier was a shapeshifter. It was as simple as that. Except for nothing was ever simple with him. Especially not since that white haired man had rescued him. Protected him. Healed him. Saved him. What other option did he have but to try and return the favor?  

We Can Do Good, Together  M 8,391  

Geralt had heard rumors of it before he'd been approached by Yennefer and asked, "How much?“  

He stared at her, unimpressed, "How much to do what?"  

"Don't play coy," she replied, "You know just as well as I do that there's been something wrecking havoc across the Continent."  

Hidden By The Forest  M 15,496 SERIES  

“Geralt, please, I... can... let me explain, please...” Jaskier’s voice wavers and he takes another step back. Geralt strengthens his grip on the blood-soaked sword still in his hand and glares at Jaskier. At who he thought was Jaskier but is clearly something else.   

Salt And Ash, Iron And Bone  EX 47402  

After Geralt’s death, Jaskier returns to the fae realm, unable to live in the human world without the witcher he loved. When he’s attacked and nearly killed eight centuries later, Jaskier flees back to the human world, where he finds himself face-to-face with Geralt. This Geralt is a redheaded, freckled human with no memory of his life as a witcher or of Jaskier. But as Jaskier gets to know his oldest friend all over again— and starts to fall in love with him all over again— a mysterious enemy threatens both their lives.  

The Red Prince  EX 72,058 SERIES  

Jaskier has lived many lives over the span of humanity's existence, and yet he's still fascinated by them. But when he catches word of Witchers, he has to know more. He follows them, befriends them whenever possible, and saves their lives. They know him as The Red Prince. Bloody-handed and handsome. Some kind of patron saint of Witchers. A legend. A fairy story. The same story Vesemir once told a young Geralt the night before his Trials. And many years later, Jaskier meets a gruff, white haired Witcher known as the Butcher. But the man is no murderer. He's interested. Smitten, even. So he follows the White Wolf on adventure, expecting that at some point he'll have to revive the legend of The Red Prince. Because Witchers get wounded. They die. He won't let that happen to Geralt. Not so long as he can retie the strings of Fate.  

Try, Please Try For Me  EX 131,979 SERIES  

Jaskier was part fae. A quarter to be precise. There was an old superstition among humans that names held power, but for fae it was so much more than that. Names meant control. If you knew a fae’s name, their true name, they would be completely at your will. If someone knew your true name you were nothing more than their servant. A slave. All it took was a single command. When war breaks out between neighboring kingdoms, Jaskier's father uses his true name and commands him to marry a witcher as part of a peace treaty. Neither Jaskier or Geralt are particularly happy with the arrangement. But as Jaskier gets to know him better he realizes that the witcher might just be able to give him the thing he's always craved. Freedom.  

Fair Folk, Or: The Difference Between Honey And Destiny Is That One Of Them Is Sweet  T 35,322 SERIES  

wherein everything is the same, except when it isn’t.  

So Can We Pretend, Sweetly  T 2,131  

Jaskier is a regular human bard, and Geralt could swear that yesterday he’d had regular human teeth. They’re just a little bit too long for his mouth, now- too white, too sharp. A predator’s. Jaskier clicks them together, experimentally, and winces when he bites his tongue. “Fuck anyone you weren’t supposed to?”   

“I don’t fuck anyone I’m supposed to,” Jaskier says, a little proudly.  

Drawing Our Destinies In Closer  T 649 SERIES  

Jaskier encounters a dangerous killer. 

Wróżka  G 2,600  

jaskier has a secret, and geralt is trying to find the clues to figure out what it is.  

When We Bloom (And We Will)  T 12,132 SERIES  

a fic in which geralt acquires a baby, jaskier saves the life of said baby, and ciri insists that she has a new sister until it becomes true.  

In Your Arms, I Am A Wild Creature  T   

A different version of Geralt and Jaskier meet; Geralt is still a witcher— it’s Jaskier who’s different.  

Fae Jaskier  G 964  

This was a request, but it's one of my favorite things I've written so I posted it separate of my ask collection.  

Pray All Ye Meet Are The Gentle Fae  EX 11,631 SERIES  

“It was remarkably foolish of you, witcher,” Jaskier drawled, his glamour gone and the picture of his inhumanity complete. “Stumbling into my clearing like this.” Or: Geralt and Jaskier take a night off to have some fun. Less fun? They're overheard. If only their dirty talk didn't sound so...incriminating.  

A Deal Which Cannot Be Refused  T  

Jaskier got into trouble a lot, that was normal. But not until he was too late to help Jaskier did Geralt ever realise that Jaskier was perfectly capable of solving his own issues. He has the ability to turn a whole argument on its head, unfailingly coming out the victor with a smile on his face, and the slightly burnt scent of pure magic in the air. Every time Geralt asked how exactly he got himself out of some new impossible situation Jaskier had just smiled and offered a well crafted but purposefully vague answer. Usually relating to a deal of some form, or a favour that Geralt didn’t really know if he wanted to know any more details of. Or - Jaskier isn’t quite human, Geralt can tell that much. What he can’t figure out is exactly what Jaskier is.  

Featuring misunderstandings, very confused and slightly oblivious Geralt, morally grey and at times ominously terrifying Jaskier and some healthy doses of angst.  

The Weight Of Life  M 25,855  

A few years after the unfortunate adventure with the dragon hunt, Geralt accidentally runs into Jaskier in the exactly same tavern, where the said adventure began. Maybe it wouldn't be that surprising (we are talking about the travelling bard after all), if Jaskier didn't look and behave so strange. How else can you describe approaching the witcher without making any indication to what has happened on the top of a certain mountain and simply paying him for killing a monster?  

Long Live The King  EX 47,450 SERIES  

Geralt placed the crown on his head before kneeling at his side, and the weight of it felt heavy on Jaskier’s brow. Jaskier’s path to becoming king, takes place five years after the fall of Cintra.  

He Fell Into A Faerie Ring  EX SERIES  

Traders are a gossiping sort. If there was a scandal within the noble houses of Posada, you’d hear about it in Cretegor by the end of the week. So, the quick spread of a rumor about a little village in the Kestrel Mountain range was not at all surprising. What was surprising was the story that the traders wove. They said that Luibhtorrach, a sad, ghost of a farming town, had miraculously become a hub for trade, as if overnight. Their lands unbelievably fertile and brimming with crop. Even stranger, each and every one of Luibhtorrach’s people professed that their good fortune was the work of a mysterious beast they’d claimed as their personal deity. Most recent news foretold of their plans to throw a midsummer festival celebrating this newfound god. In preparation, silken blue banners were erected in every corner of the town, each bearing the symbol of their new patron: A delicate dandelion wrapping around a golden sun.- Or -Jaskier accidentally becomes the god of a village he stumbled upon after Geralt’s post-dragon hunt meltdown. Maybe it had something to do with his new look.  

Honey, Where Do You Think I Came From?  M  

It was little things at first. A glare on his face, narrowed eyes and frowning lips, or a comment a touch more cutting than it needed to be. All explained away with simple enough rational: a bad day, lack of sleep. No reason to suspect what truly lay beneath. Looking back, the signs were there. But he didn’t look for what they meant. What the whispered sweet nothings shared in a corner but never taken to a bedroom meant. What the cutting glances and sharp words at an annoying lord meant. What the lack of a dagger tucked away in a boot meant In the beginning, well, he was a simple bard really. Talented, yes, but simple. And that was all.  

A Crown Of Crows  M  

There's something about Jaskier that Geralt can't place. It isn't the bard’s boldness in waltzing up to him, or how he seems strangely unswayed by the witcher's cold front, or even the way he glues himself to Geralt’s side. Jaskier makes Geralt's medallion quiver and tug at its chain any time they touch. Could be that lute of his is enchanted. But Geralt has a funny feeling Jaskier’s hiding something behind that warmhearted smile he finds himself so spellbound by.  

Rues And Bees  G  

Geralt is sick and tired of standing in front of his oak cottage door and peeking through the peep hole as Yennefer stands on the other side, beckoning Geralt to, "Open the door and let me in. It's cold out here," and replying, "You're not Yennefer, she's in the other room, sleeping. I can hear her snoring." So naturally, he does the next big thing: he falls in love with the doppler.  

Through A Field Of Poppies  T 1,060  

Jaskier dies in autumn. Geralt lays him to rest at the edge of a birch grove overlooking a flood plain on the northern banks of the Pontar. He remembers the place, now gilded in the afternoon sun by wayward wheat having made its way to the rich river soil, where his bard had once pressed a ring into his palm (“How about this,” he’d said. “You keep this near and I’ll know you still want me at your side.” And Geralt had closed his fingers around it thinking he’d take ten thousand golden trinkets just to be gifted with that smile) and he knows that come spring it’ll be a meadow thick with wildflowers. The next time he sees Jaskier, he reaches for silver.  

I Want To Know You  T 2,980  

Four questions that they ask each other over the years they spend together. Jaskier herded him to a table when their drinks were on their hands, talking more nonsense and pulling out of the Witcher the information of the monster he was after. The human seemed to take a weird interest in what Geralt did for a living considering his species who preferred to have the whole continent between them and one of Geralt's kind.  

Sunk But Sinking  NR  

He wakes up with a tightness in his chest, the reason for it revealed as soon as he opens his eyes. It’s not light yet, not exactly, but the fire is long gone and the cold had enough time to settle in his bones. He’s aching more than most mornings, but maybe it’s just the weather’s fault. Jaskier grunts and pushes Geralt’s hand off his chest, the unreasonable panic not quite evaporating from him at the same speed as the details of his nightmare.  

He Sleeps In His Bed (While He Plays Pretend)  M 34,049  

When Yennefer leaves him, Geralt comes back to Jaskier, heart in his hand, anger, hurt, and heartbreak bleeding from it. Geralt grieves his love life with his eyes closed, his body bare and fucking into his bard, Yennefer's name on his lips. On the other hand, as months pass, Geralt's begins to fall in love with Jaskier himself, leaving a huge misunderstanding his wake.  

Ensnared  EX 32,014  

Geralt is hired to hunt a creature that has been terrorising the local hunters and traders of Belhaven. He heads into Caed Myrkvid and finds more than he bargained for  

This Isn't The Beginning Of A Joke, This Is The Beginning Of A Love Song...  EX  

Jaskier sings Renfri and Yennefer to life and doesn't think enough about the effect it could have on two powerful women. And the effect it could have on him. After all; he's the first music note ever heard, not a fertility god.And everybody knows Witchers are made, not born.  

No No, Not I  T  

Geralt meats Fae!Jaskier due to a slight misunderstanding (or maybe its destiny messing with them?) and when Jaskier hurts his wing they are kind of stuck together for a while. It’s a journey that not only brings them in more and more danger and to unknown magical places but it also brings them closer together, if they want to admit it or not. The Fae is annoying Geralt to no end but he can’t just let him die, can he? Jaskier saw the jagged edge of the stone a fraction of a second too late and he couldn't stop himself from stepping on it with his bare feet. He hissed in pain, baring his fangs. “Wait, damn it,” a deep voice behind him demanded but he would not obey. He wouldn't dream of obeying the command of a monster that wanted to kill him.  

Namesake Retrograde  EX  

'Fifty years of meticulously crafted lies become dust in the wind before Jaskier can realize what's happening. Distantly, he thinks he hears the tonal crack of shattering crystal, before his mouth rushes with hot saliva and bottom drops out from his stomach.' Jaskier's glamour is obliterated. It goes worse than expected.  

Welcome, Oh Summer Love  G 2,390 SERIES  

After leaving Geralt and making a home in a fairy circle somewhere deep in a forgotten wood, Jaskier learns to move on. He makes a home in that stone ring, detached from the world and his worries. That is, until Geralt stumbles into his ring looking haggard and weary, trailing a lost princess behind him. Should Jaskier stay silent in his tree, let them pass by him as he rests? Will he finally face the love he'd run away from? 

With Romantic Intent  M 8,934 SERIES  

Jaskier decides that it's finally time to start courting Geralt. He just needs to make it obvious enough that the silly man will take the hint — and, in the process, figure out that he was never quite as human as Geralt thought.  

Of Music And Motion And Love  T 12,412 SERIES  

When Jaskier was four, he slipped his mother’s watch and went to the field to gather a bouquet of dandelions. He climbed back into the yard, as stealthy as a child really cared to be, and crept over to the barn. In the barn, lived a secret. (The man he thought his father said the secret was a monster, a plague. His mother said the secret was his sister.) OR Jaskier comes from a far humbler background, and would really like to know why Yennefer never came back for her youngest brother.  

I Come Round Back To You  M 15,567  

He is fifty and there is a man in the corner of a tavern in Posada who hasn’t moved save for the rise and fall of his tankard to his sculpted lips. Julian knows what he is before he knows to know. He should have started chasing monsters sooner.  

Where We Belong  T  

Geralt had many uses for the parasite living inside him. Jaskier could heal bones and regenerate a limbs like it was nothing, could eat the heads of monsters faster than a Witcher could draw his sword; even help Geralt breathe underwater if they so wished. Jaskier was a blessing in disguise if one forgone the constant hunger that came with hosting them. It was not, however, nearly enough to have to sit through the twice-damned singing and chatter inside his fucking skull.  

There's Magic In A Bard's Song (O Lei O Lai O Lei O Lord)  T   

There’s something different about the way the bard sings. There is something underlying his voice, his music. It bothers Geralt.  

As Daylight Dies  T  

The Witcher keeps to himself, gaze downcast, gloved hand extended to his tankard to keep within his lips' reach.  

"Are the stories true?"  

"Depends." The voice that comes from under the hood is deep, a wolf's growl and grunt. The White Wolf, an apt name for the man. A different, darker meeting between Geralt of Rivia and Jaskier. It's going to get darker.  

Once Written In The Stars  EX  

When Geralt accidentally trespasses on a fae forest, only the unexpected kindness of one of the forest's inhabitants saves him. Unfortunately, it also leaves him saddled with a travel companion who has never really met a human, let alone thought about how to play at being one. It goes about as well as you'd think.  

Will You Be Coming Home?  M 52,104  

At fifteen, Julian hires a bodyguard and runs away. At twenty, he's quite happy. At twenty-five, he's fucked.  

(Don't Ask Me) To Follow Where You Lead  M  

Bitter irony that Jaskier had fallen for him despite knowing that his freedom was linked to Geralt wanting him gone deep down more than he wanted him to stay – if Jaskier ever got what his heart yearned for, he'd lose even more than Geralt's affections in the same breath. In that sense, Geralt's words on top of that mountain were a blessing, for all that Jaskier did not at all agree with being blamed for things that were in no way his fault. For someone who had held someone else's fate in his hands for almost all of the years he had walked this earth, Geralt was surprisingly scared of destiny and way too concerned with running from it in vain. Jaskier could and actually had sung several songs about how escaping destiny was impossible – her cruel claws would sink into you one way or another, running from it was nothing but a waste of breath. 

Honey, Bread and Summer Flowers  G 910  

Geralt and Jaskier meet at a crossroads. Neither is what he seems.  

Can’t You See I’m Unholy?  T 1,006 SERIES  

Jaskier was dead. Oddly enough, that’s the part he could handle. The part he couldn’t handle, the part that he’s never been able to handle, is the aftermath. The rebirth. -In which Jaskier is a demon that can’t ever fully die and Geralt is witness to his resurrection.  

Upon The Waking Of The Spring  T 2,074 SERIES  

When Spring comes along, and brings with it new life, Jaskier finds the man with white hair asleep on a bed of violets. And, though they’re not meant to meddle with the Fates of humans, Jaskier just can not resist.  

Like Real People Do  T 3,989 SERIES  

“Are you hiring me, girl?”  

After a beat of silence, the two staring at each other, she stands tall and scoops the coin into her apron pocket and shakes her head. “No, Witcher, I don’t believe I am. Just thought you should know is all.”  

He sighs out a breath through his nose, looking away. He grips the mug still in his hand a bit stronger and brings it to his lips.  

“It’s the wood near your professor is why I thought you should know.”  

Not Quite Right  M   

The meat suit ages around him. He can feel it grow every passing year, stretching and contorting over a too-big entity. The original soul died far before it was born into this world. It allowed him to step in and takes its place. His brethren are like vines that choke out trees, retaining their shape even as the mighty oaks or pines wither and die beneath them. He is like a weed with a lovely flower atop it. Mistaken for something meant for a bouquet, but even when identified, still plucked for flower crowns or innocent gifts. He calls himself Jaskier.  

The God Of Scraped Knees.  M 8,342 

Jaskier’s been pretending to be human for so long now that he hardly remembers what it feels like to be a sorcerer. He doesn’t want to remember what it feels like to be a sorcerer. But people still murmur his name with reverence in certain dim halls; Dandelion, Dandelion, destroyer of worlds.    

Blue And Yellow, Blue And Gold  T 4,292  

There is a blue-eyed boy living in Geralt's shadow.  

Fallen For A Lie  T 6,995  

It was a long time before Geralt suspected anything. Geralt had been trained to notice such things at Kaer Morhen, and had gone years, decades even, without missing something as large as this. He could hear Vesemir shouting now at Geralt’s blindness, unexplainable aside from the locked away knowledge that this had escaped his attentions because he liked the way Jaskier chattered at him, the coin he brought in from his little tunes, liked him. Any bizarre incident that arose was brushed aside in favor of Jaskier’s easy company. And there had been many incidents.  

What's Mine Is Yours  T 7,506 SERIES  

Jaskier had always had a set of lungs to rival the North wind. By the time he was old enough to put words to his wailing, his poor mother’s head was grey and her heart torn by the babe who had never once stopped crying. There wasn’t a healer or witch she took him to who didn’t say the same thing: there was nothing to fix. They could treat a bruise, bandage the reflections of another’s injuries that sometimes echoed onto his skin, but there was no curing pain that wasn’t his.  

Edge Of Nowhere  T 1,361 SERIES  

Jaskier needed no introduction to Geralt of Rivia, not when he knows who this Witcher is on sight. On the other hand, this is his opportunity to make a new and different name for himself, a guise within a disguise, and perhaps fame that'll hide the secrets that he keeps.  

Wolf & Songbird  T  

“Do I not warm you when it’s cold?” asks Geralt. “Feed you when you’re hungry, carry you when you’ve had too much too drink?”  

“Well,” says Jaskier. He gulps. “But you never said anything.”  

They may be destined to meet in every universe, but they always stay together by choice. 

And The Seasons, They Go Round And Round  T 2,938  

Taking hold of his emotions enough so he won’t begin shouting, Geralt stands before Jaskier, arms crossed protectively around his beating heart. “What are you?” he growls.  

With a heavy sigh, Jaskier leans on his elbows and peers up at Geralt. “Do you know the story of the seasons Geralt?” Jaskier inquires.  

In which Jaskier isn't all he appears and his rivalry with Valdo Marx is a bit more complicated than Geralt realized. 

Dear Fellow Traveler  EX 39,567  

Geralt had a rule: he refused to accept anything but coin for his work, no matter what was being offered to him. So when a man offered him a creature by the name of Jaskier, he elected to say no. After several incidents left the two no choice but to become traveling companions when they are forced to go on the run, things begin to change between the pair as they struggle to find a way for Jaskier to return to his home. 

The Man From Oxenfurt  M  

Jaskier is an assassin from the school of Oxenfurt, assigned a target with no name, picture, or any information besides the target's species (witcher) and the fact that he trained under Vesemir. His luck changes when he meets another witcher from the same school in a tavern in Posada, and he vows that he'll build a life with Geralt with the money from this last assignment. If only it could be that easy. 

Granted  EX 12,314 SERIES  

Jaskier feels it the moment the words leave Geralt’s lips. A rush of energy flooding from his core to the tips of his fingers and toes. ‘Oh no,’ he thinks. The magic spills from him like wine from a glass and before he can grab it, it’s done. He’s bound. Geralt’s wish has been granted.  

Lord Of The Forest  NR 7,521 SERIES  

Jaskier is not human, he is Lord of the Forest, and post season 1 episode 6, he returns to his natural form to wreak vengeance on Geralt.   

Pathway To Your Lips  EX 5,5145 

Geralt meets with Lord Pankratz about a monster in the forest of his duchy. In the process, he meets Jaskier, the Lord's son who is always dressed in a most extravagant manner. Amidst chaos at the dinner time and troubling thoughts, Geralt gears up to fight the monster he has been hired to kill.  

Into The Woods  G 1,318  

Geralt gets lost in the woods. But there's someone -- or something -- else following him.  

Like Real People Do  G 55,687  

A twilight that refuses to wane, the lingering scent of clean, bitter dandelion milk, and a strange man buried deep in the soil of a peaceful bog. Or, Geralt finds a traveling companion in the strangest of places.  

Muse Of White And Gold  G 1,573 SERIES  

It’s been a week and the person is still following him. What’s more, they haven’t attacked yet. Geralt isn’t quite sure what to do with this. OR Jaskier sees Geralt slay a beast and is instantly drawn to the stunning man of white and gold.  

Play Out A Spell In Your Sequence Of Chords (To Inspire And Sharpen Our Rusted Swords)  T 10,813 

Geralt cocked his head to the side curiously to regard the chittering fox caught in the hunter's trap. The beast had deep chestnut fur and eerily bright blue eyes. He knelt, and the creature hissed at him, baring his teeth in fear.  

"I mean you no harm," he rumbled, hands palm-up. His swords were at his campsite, regardless. He reached forward slowly, and the fox didn't move, though it's teeth remained bared. It was a simple matter to pry open the trap, and the fox leapt away, chattering its teeth at him. Their eyes met for a long moment, amber to fantastical blue, and the fox dashed off.  

Sighing faintly, hands resting on his knees, Geralt bowed his head tiredly. He rolled his neck to crack it, and rose to his feet to shuffle his way back to his camp.  

Set out neatly next to his bedroll were three cleanly gutted rabbits, and Geralt paused in surprise. Roach whinnied softly, and stamped a hoof. A crown of golden wheat rested primly between her ears.  

Ah. Fae, then. Services paid for services rendered. Hopefully the fae would consider them even, now, but something in him doubted it.  

Left Alone  T 7,026  

There's almost something between them, Jaskier can see it. An almost relationship. Almost love. That's why the sight of Geralt and Yennefer shatters his heart, leaving him broken and alone and in pain. And well, all there's left to do is go home.  

While Jaskier reunites with his siblings and remembers what's it like to hold his blades, Geralt looks for a way to break what the djin made. And well, Destiny wants them together so, in the end, they always come back to each other.  

Farewell Wanderlust  T 1,124  

After being left on the mountain, fae!jaskier goes dark. Geralt is contracted to take out the dark fae tormenting the village, unbeknownst to him that it is his old friend.  

Of Home And Gentle Hands  G 1,582 SERIES  

It’s been almost a year since Jaskier started travelling with Geralt, and he still can’t believe his luck. Geralt is having trouble understanding the way he’s feeling. Meanwhile, Yennefer shows up with a job offer. Travelling with Geralt, Jaskier decides, is far better when he’s allowed to walk next to him rather than stuck to following him from a distance. From this close, he’s able to see different things, things he never noticed from afar.  

Normal Human? Never Heard Of Him.  EX 6,955  

Three times Jaskier acts suspicious and one time Geralt gets his mind blown.  

What Is A Monster?  G 996 SERIES  

“You’re not a monster.”  

Geralt sighs, and puts his sword away. Kissing Jaskier’s head, he wants to say a million things, I’m not a monster to you, you make me feel normal, I love that’s how you see me but reality is different, I love you, but he understands that what would make Jaskier feel better is none of that. What he wants, needs, is far simpler, “I know.”  

Welcome To The Storm, I Am Thunder  EX 4,239  

They've barely left the tavern in Posada before Geralt has made up his mind about Jaskier. He's annoying and persistent, has zero sense of self-preservation, talks too much and is, first and foremost, painfully, vulnerably human. The next few weeks prove almost all of those things to be true—all but one.  

Look What You've Done To Me  M   

Jaskier can't ignore who he really is, and Geralt's not sure he can either.  

A Rose, But Only One  T SERIES  

A retelling of the ballad Tam Lin wherein Jaskier is Tam Lin.  

Witness Me, Old Man, I Am The Wild  T 1,787 SERIES  

Jaskier always asks to stop whenever they reach meadows, to cut as many flowers as he can manage. He usually aims for white heather and feverfew, and Geralt usually ends up with some threaded through his hair. He assumes at first it’s just Jaskier’s restless fingers and part of his campaign to change Geralt’s image. It takes him nearly three years, and a fight with a higher vampire, to realise there's more to it than that.  

Surprises Surprises  T 2,832 SERIES  

Yennefer isn't sure what's so special about the human bard that the Witcher cares so much, but she intends to find out. They meet again and again and again, and each time she sees more and more. Turns out there are more than a few surprises there  

Changeling Jaskier  T 1,022 SERIES  

Jaskier was far more observant and aware than most people gave him credit for, after all he had grown up among the fae and had gotten himself his freedom. He also knew Geralt better than the witcher thought he did, and he was not above using that knowledge when the man was doing something stupid.  

I’m Lost, I’m Found In You  T 1,190 SERIES  

Meeting Geralt of Rivia had initially been quite the shock. The man offered up his name so easily, thinking nothing of it, and everything in Jaskier’s body screamed mine mine mine. It wasn’t as if he didn’t get first names on a daily basis. But that was from humans, gullible creatures that had forgotten the tales of the fae, the warnings, choosing to live in blissful ignorance. But Geralt was a Witcher. Surely he could smell what Jaskier truly was, if not see through his glamour entirely. And yet���Jaskier felt his instincts awaken and tingle with joy - his mind was begging him to take, use, own this beautiful man with his name. But Jaskier gave up that life long ago.  

I Am Flesh And I Am Bone  T 2,601  

Geralt is pretty sure Jaskier isn’t quite human. He has a list of evidence, really, he does. And it starts with a petty challenge issued by Jaskier one night at a tavern. The list grows from there.  

His Love, Soft And Sweet  G 754 SERIES  

"I'm going to die," he says, voicing the thought aloud. "This is the end of me, dear heart. My final moments, the finale, the fine. Remember me fondly as you continue your journey down the Path—"   

"You're not going to die, Jaskier," Geralt interrupts him with exasperation. "It's a fever, that's all."  

A Wilted Warning  T 1,071 SERIES  

After the initial discussion, Geralt decides it’s best if he explores the woods surrounding the village. There’s only one issue…  

“I told you to stay in the room.”  

“And I told you I’m coming with you. How else am I going to write my songs?”  

OR Jaskier and Geralt search the woods for the culprit. Geralt gets to learn more about Jaskier, even if the bard is acting a bit strange... Well stranger than usual.  

Day By Day  G 1,261 SERIES  

Jaskier has been alive for a long time, has met his fair share of witchers and sorceresses and even Princesses. Some were dumb, some were smart, and some were somewhere in the middle. However, none were so completely dense that they didn't realize he wasn't human by the end of a five-year friendship. He's known Geralt for twenty years. Geralt still hasn't caught on. Now, Jaskier isn't saying Geralt is dumb because the man is obviously very intelligent, but Geralt is…. Well, he's dumb. Jaskier loves him, would sacrifice immortality for him, but his witcher is very stupid.  

The Curse Of The Fae-Child  T  

“I… there’s an estate, half an hour up north,” Jaskier started, avoiding Geralt’s questioning gaze. “It’s not on the map, but there’s a chance they won’t kill us if we ask for shelter. Don’t ask me to elaborate, if I am wrong we’ll simply find somewhere else and forget about it forever.” Forced to go back to his childhood home, Jaskier is soon tasked with some fae nonsense, because fairies do not exist... right?  

A Midwinter's Daydream  G 1,396  

“Either I mistake your shape entirely, or else you are that shrewd and knavish sprite called Julian Goodfellow?” Her laugh tinkles on the breeze, shrill to his ears. “Are you not sheep-stealer, milk ruiner, or wife stealer? Come sprite, I recognise thine face.” Her pale hand stretches out to pluck a delicate yellow flower from his hair, “or should I call you Jaskier, or sweet puck, and then will you bring me luck?”  

He matches her pitched giggles with a sharp strum of his lute, bowing low in mockery. “Thou speak’st aright! I am that merry wanderer of the night."  

Check Mate, Valdo Marx  T 1,227  

The sanctuary of Kaer Morhen was broken so much sooner than Geralt had hoped. He had a sorceress and three other witchers on his side to fight the whole army of Nilfgaard. All while a bard hid out in the pantry with his child surprise and a dagger in hand with instructions to use it when their last defence had fallen. Except, Jaskier was going to have none of that. He had won this round fair, Valdo was just a sore loser.  

The Voice Beloved By The Trees  NR  

“Why do you not like the forest, mama?” Julian had asked her once, age nine, knees pressed in the mud beside her. His mother sat demurely upon a rich blanket of gold and sky blue—the colors of their house. He remembered, briefly, how her fingers stilled at his question, though careful not to bruise the bud of the flower she was attending.  

“It’s not safe,” His mother had said simply, her blue eyes much too bright. She plucked the scissors up off her white saffron gown and quickly snipped a mature bloom, placing it tenderly in her wicker basket. A basket that was always full of flowers: roses, forget-me-nots, orchids, and the handfuls of dandelions that Julian snuck in—his mother's favorite name for him. For the wild boy with mud on his shins and rumpled riches. Her little Jaskier.  

On The Wings Of Love  EX 5,420 SERIES  

After spending the winter in Kaer Morhen, Geralt and Jaskier get on with their travels again, and Geralt gets to see Jaskier in all of his Fae glory - the good, the bad and the weird. Somewhere along the way they get married, acquire a child and meet a djin. Somehow, they're all good things.  

Wolf's Temper  M  

Geralt never expected himself to be stuck traveling with a werewolf, but when one night of drinking with Jaskier turns into a secret being revealed Geralt realizes what this means for him as a person and as a Witcher. He needs to protect Jaskier at all costs.  

You Don't Have To Hide From Me  T 1,737 SERIES  

Geralt had always known, something was different with Jaskier but he hadn't been able to say what it was until the day they slept together for the firs time  

Curiosity And The Cat  T 2,834  

Jaskier had always been different from everyone else. Odd, loyal, and a touch too curious for his own good. Or Geralt isn't sure what kind of being Jaskier is but one night while hunting a werewolf, his bard's persistence leads to a great deal of trouble.  

Through The Desert  M 3,397 SERIES  

Jaskier is hungry for the world - even before he flirts with the wrong woman and gets turned into a vampire. Jaskier is not a bard anymore, he is a creature. (And witchers kill creatures, don't they?)  

Could Be, Will Be, Maybe?  T 6,445  

“Do you want to hold her?” The princess doesn’t really wait for Jaskier’s answer; simply deposits the little babe into his arms, and Jaskier scrambles to hold her right, sneaking a hand to delicately cradle the head. She’s so small, he thinks to himself a little hysterically, and then, in quick succession, Geralt is going to love her. Or: the story of how Jaskier visits Cintra over the years, and carves lasting bonds with Pavetta, with Ciri - and finds himself as bound to Geralt as if Destiny herself had twined their fates together.  

A Buttercup Plucked From The Side Of The Road  NR  

Alfred Pankratz is barely two years into his professorship when he finds a boy passed out by the side of the road leading to Oxenfurt. A small, adorable child with a buttercup tucked into his hair. Alfred Pankratz is 27 years old and can be described as many things, whimsical, flighty, headstrong but not as father material. He's not fit to be a father, he's not. He'll take Jaskier to the healer and then the orphanage as soon as the healer is done with him. Aforementioned healer raises an amused eyebrow, “You’ve named him?” Fuck he's already named him. Mentally, he rearranges his plans for the next decade or two. By sunset Alfred has already filled out the necessary papers, informed his colleagues, bought new children's clothes and cleared out a room in his quarters. He brushes his new son’s, Jaskier’s, hair out of his sleeping face and sighs a deeply resigned sigh. It will be the first of man  

The Heart Is A Muscle  T 31,045  

The one where Jaskier is fae, Geralt can’t connect the dots to save his life, and, with some help, the pair discover what it means to find your true family.  

Masquerade As The Love Of Your Life  EX 20,667 

“As you know, Nilfgaard is pressuring Kaedwen borders. Our lands are struggling.” Vesemir has his arms crossed over his chest, his face stony. “We have a very promising solution but it’s also our least favourable.”  

The Highest Reward  T 2,240 SERIES  

“What do you want in return?”  

The fae’s smile was anything but reassuring. “Oh, nothing you will miss. Nothing you have ever wanted. I only ask for your first child.”  

His Bard, Eternal  EX 3,678  

Geralt is just about to Kaer Morhen with Ciri when he comes across a village that desperately needs his help. He continues taking Ciri to Kaer Morhen so she is safe before turning back to take the job offer. There, he comes across a familiar bard that he had not seen since the dragon hunt with Borch. Can he make things better? Is Jaskier willing to forgive him? Find out here!  

Make Them Hear You  M 2,514 SERIES  

The first year Jaskier goes to Kaer Morhen, he's struck almost dumb by the pain of the keep, the losses it's seen, and the cries of the land. There's little he can do to help, but what little he can, he will.  

Thomas The Rhymer  T 37,401  

Jaskier, heartbroken and banished from his Witcher's side, finds himself employed by the Fae Queen for seven years. In return for teaching music lessons and performing for guests of the Seelie Court, she promises the bard a longer life, knowledge of the Faerie Tongue, and an escape from the pain that haunts his shattered mortal heart. After seven years of searching the world over for his bard, Geralt stumbles upon a familiar face in a clearing. A man with cornflower blue eyes, wavy brown hair, slightly pointed ears, and absolutely no memory whatsoever of the White Wolf.  

Iron Blood  T   

It’s inevitable that it would’ve happened, sooner or later. He’d imagined that it would be at the hands of some mercenary or a hunter, though. He presses his eyes closed, hissing against the smell of burning flesh as it tears through his throat. In which Jaskier pretends Geralt doesn't know anything, and Geralt tries to court a fae.  

Love/Home/Heart T 34,851

Jaskier remembers his birth. Or rather he remembers his first breaths in this world. A woman, unrelated to him by blood but his mother all the same, pulls him wailing out of the ground. He feels her joy and the stench of old magic in the air, the… the knowledge is gone. Contrary to popular belief, thank you Lambert, Geralt was not stupid. As soon as he’d walked into the Tavern in Posada, he’d known something was different about the bard. After an encounter with a Djinn, Yennefer finds herself with a Fae indebted to her. They keep running into each other.

Fingertip Distance. NR

People didn’t like to touch Geralt unless it was for a purpose. To hand him coin so he could deal with a couple of pesky monsters, to try and best him in a fight, or to lay with him for a night after they’ve been paid. People didn’t like touching Geralt, but Jaskier isn’t people. Jaskier touches him all the time, when he’s drunk and trying to regain his balance, when he’s tired and needs someone to lean on, when he needs Geralt’s attention he will press his fingertips to Geralt’s elbow. And Geralt? He finds himself fixating on those fingertips. Yennefer has warned him, told him that his control wasn’t as good as he thought it was, but as Jaskier stares at him, wide eyed and open mouthed Geralt can only hide his head in shame and blame the summer heat. For all the times Jaskier might have touched him, this is the first time Geralt reciprocated.

Escaped My T 17,005

Jaskier followed Geralts wish, of course he would grant his friends' one final request to leave. Jaskier was done with singing, after all his friend hadn't thought much of it, instead used his silver tongue for other things- much less honourable things. What did it matter Geralt was gone anyway so no one could tell him to stop.

His Name Means Air T 7,062 SERIES

Always too loud and too bright, Jaskier believes that he’s a changeling. He also believes that if Geralt finds out, he’ll kill him.

Out Of The Night That Covers Me EX 37,820 SERIES

Jaskier has begrudgingly agreed to accompany Geralt to Kaer Morhen for the winter. He has not, however, agreed to being up front about his true nature. Meeting the family is stressful enough without the threat of a painful death.

You Wingless Thing M 26,650

So, Geralt saves the terrorizing for the actual noble lord, and makes himself as unthreatening as possible. Contrary to popular belief, he isn’t a savage, bloodthirsty beast, and he’d rather this boy not be raised under that falsehood - though, it’s likely no matter what Geralt does that he will.The boy’s voice stutters as he looks up at Geralt, words coming out too fast and heart beating rabbit-fast. “S-sir, Lord Erynd requests your presence.” Geralt gets a contract in a town called Eristan, but it turns out the only monster there is human.

The Price Of Wanting M

He hadn't the imagination to build a human from scratch at the time, when he decided that no other shape would truly suffice, so he acquired one in the grand tradition of his people. He had offered the mortal a trade, as one did, and in return for his aid, he was granted his name: Julian Alfred Pankratz.

[sunnysidesevenup]

“I’m not the type to beg someone else to grant my wishes.”

When I stumbled across @angelwishess fairy tale themed event I knew immediately I had to draw something for it, so I flipped a coin to decide which oc to draw lmao. Arlo it is!

And his outfit colors are suspiciously familiar, haha…. There’s definitely no significance behind that.

Voice lines, notes, and the background image under the cut!

Home, login: Usually I’d be upset waking up somewhere I didn’t go to sleep, but I suppose I can forgive if it’s for a party.

Home transition 1: Vil and Floyd are here too, so at least I won’t be bored.

Home transition 2: I wish I had my camera, the plants—I mean, the architecture would make a good picture. Or the people, I guess. If I had to.

Home transition 3: I’m good at dancing when it comes to being at home, but land dancing is different. It’s a bit annoying having Vil judge me, so I don’t think I’ll even try tonight.

Home Tap 1: What would I wish for? I don’t believe in wishes magically coming true, so nothing. You think I’m lying so I don’t have to tell you? Ha! Maybe.

Home Tap 2: Neige is here? Why would I care about that? You might need to get checked for brain damage.

Home Tap 3: I don’t really trust fae party food, so I forced Floyd to eat some first. He’s not enslaved or anything, so I guess it’s fine.

Home Tap 4: This outfit is nice, but it’s a little form fitting. I prefer looser clothing—but it’s alright to mix it up every now and again.

Home Tap 5: Begging someone else to grant my wish? Like I’d do something so pathetic.

Set to Home Screen: Mysterious parties and wish granting fae… yeah, this might be fun.

Notes!!

okay yes the outfit is inspired by snow white’s colors. can you blame me? I had to

I mayyyyyyy draw a card for neige too. possibly. it would be fun and I’m motivated entirely by my own amusement at all times, so

I tried drawing the outfit in lighter pastels first, but Arlo is definitely a darker color kind of guy. It just works better with his hair!! why’d I give him hair like that!!!

my boy is loving the accessories on this outfit SO MUCH. he won’t tell anyone that though

Finally, here’s the background image!!! I drew it myself, so if anyone likes it I give permission to use it lmao. backgrounds aren’t my strong suit but I can’t get better if I don’t at least practice—so I think it’s decent?? maybe???

[builtaworldwithyourlove]

Free Falling

Chapter Five

3k/ (eventual) husband!joel x f!reader /minors dni ‘I felt very still and very empty, the way the eye of a tornado must feel’

Summary: you take the leap to leave your stagnant relationship, and end up falling into the arms of a man who will give you the life you always dreamed of. 

Content: age gap (reader is mid-late 20s, Joel is late 30s-mid 40s), angst,smut, fluff, oc(reader’s ex-boyfriend and friends/family), mention of reader grieving loss of her dad, swearing, smoking, alcohol consumption, lovely lovely baby boy Joel, reader is a sweetheart, lil time hop, planning Joel’s birthday bash

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‘I just don’t get it, what is the catch?’ Jessie asked with a mouthful of bagel.

‘Girl I don’t know he’s literally perfect. Keep your eyes peeled for red flags tonight.’

‘Aww you deserve to be happy. I might make up some red flags so I can him for my self’ Jessie giggled.

You cackled at her, and you both sipped in unison on your vanilla lattes.

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After about 10 different shops had wiped your bank account, you dropped Jessie home and got Joel’s presents, decorations and party food and drink in the house in only four trips to the car. 

How was it possible to take 5 hours out shopping for one person? Well, you were extremely last minute, and also extremely extra.

It was only 3pm, so you put the food and drink out in the fridge in the summerhouse and applied a dissolvable sheet mask whilst you took a quick cat nap.

The girls were arriving at 5:30pm to help you set up, so you could take the pressure off yourself and enjoy getting ready.

🧸🪷🧸🪷🧸🪷🧸🪷🧸🪷🧸🪷🧸🪷

You started to stir as your phone buzzed.

Incoming Call:

Joel😻😻

‘Morning baby’ you chuckled.

‘Someone sounds busy’ he tutted.

‘You don’t even know the half of it, asshole’ you sighed.

‘Naw I appreciate you my gorgeous girl. I was just gonna ask, it’s limes with tequila ain’t it and strawberries with champagne?’ He almost seemed too shy to ask.

‘Now I knew you had learned a useful thing or two from me.’

‘You’re not entirely useless. I’ll let you get ready pretty, I’m so excited to see you.’

‘I love you’ you told each other, and you hung up the phone to start your makeup.

You opted for a matte lip with the liner a slightly darker shade of brown, your favourite baby pink blush and the lashes Tommy always said would carry you away if you got caught in strong winds.The rollers were out, and your hair bounced with every step- it was well worth the ridicule Joel gave for stepping out in public with them in.

For the special birthday boy, you opted for a black mini skirt, thigh high boots and a plain white tee body suit. Very Rachel Green of you.  A lace matching set was underneath, and you were saturated in cocoa butter and Prada Paradoxe.

The girls arrived perfectly on time and you greeted them through the door with the sounds of Lauryn Hill and plied them with cocktails straight away.

The first port of call was dressing up the summer house. There was no particular theme so you decided on black and gold. A ballon arch adorned the worn French Doors, and the fairy lights fitted by Joel perfectly complement them. A table was put out with food that Lottie had kindly arranged following your flustered mother dropping hundreds of dollars worth of Costco food and drink round, and Rhea had brought ice buckets for the insane amount of alcohol that you had gathered. 

Bunches of balloons were tied to the front door, and you had decided to make a photo wall, filled with photos of you and Joel, Joel as a child with his brother and then some gems of Joel with your Auntie and Uncle from years ago. 

The time had flown by, and people had started to arrive slightly early, eagerly waiting to see your brilliant hosting skills in person, and to also make the most of the free bar and buffet.

Your twin sisters arrived, they were only young but were always at every family function, even if it was meant to be adults only. ‘Where’s Mom?’ You asked, so confused as to how they just materialised down the garden path, like that scene from the Shining.

‘Talking to the taxi driver’ they giggled in unison.

‘You’ve got to get it where you can I guess’ Jessie laughed as she appeared next to you. This was swiftly met by an elbow to the ribs and an ‘ignore her’ to your sisters.

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A familiar sound of soft rock and Joel’s laughter floated through the air. You felt giddy and nervous and ran into Joel’s arms as him and Tommy came through the garden gate. 

‘Happy Birthday  Baby’ you whispered into his neck. His arms wrapped around your waist, and he lifted you and spun you around. He made sure you were facing your family and your back was out of sight, and he slipped a hand up your skirt and held a handful of your ass. He grunted softly, and kissed your neck.

‘I love it. I love the fact I have a birthday weekend when my birthday isn’t until Tuesday.And I love you. You are perfect.’

You felt flustered and the butterflies doubled. You tried to steady yourself, and gave him the look to say, I can’t wait to get you alone. 

Tommy gave you a cuddle and brought you a refilled glass of champagne whilst giving a toast to all you had done.

‘Here’s our guest of honour’ Uncle Rufus appeared and said hello to you both. Clara kissed your cheek and gave you a tight squeeze as always.

‘Well look at the gorgeous couple, gosh you make me sick!’ She teased. Joel pulled you in tight and kissed your head. 

‘Not bad going right? Imagine the babies we’d make’ Joel sipped his beer.

You froze like a deer in headlights. Scared but excited, wishing you could stay in this moment forever but also fast forward ten years to turn these dreams into life. 

‘They’d be pretty cute, I have to admit’ you felt yourself blushing and broke the awkwardness by going to get everyone a drink.

‘Secret shot?’ Rhea asked.

‘He mentioned babies’ you whispered.

Rhea stopped dead in the middle of cutting a lime wedge, before bursting into a fit of giggles and squeals.

You invited Jessie and Lottie over for a three part tequila shot, and noticed Joel staring in adoration out the corner of your eye. He never let you too far out of his gaze, and never let that gaze drop when you were in his sights. 

The night passed with good music, good company, plenty of questions about Joel and how he’s treating you. The heels had been swapped for slippers or sliders, and the alcohol had diminished somewhat, although not from everyone’s blood streams. 

It was almost midnight and your mom had to leave to get the girls back to bed. She kissed Joel goodbye and asked if you’d need help tomorrow cleaning up. The playlist had changed to a playlist made of Joel and your favourite songs,  gentle and slow, and everyone had seemed to settle down, nursing their last drinks and having deep conversations with each other.

Joel held your hand and you slow-danced in a corner. Your head rested on his chest, and he rested his head on top of yours. A rough, workman’s hand held a tiny hand within his, and his fingers caressed every outline of yours. You swayed softly, praying this moment never ended.

‘And then I looked up at the sun and I could see

Oh, the way that gravity pulls on you and me’

He ran his fingers up your back and wrapped your curls up and around in his fist. He gently pulled your head away to look at him and kissed you.

Tommy abruptly brought you both back to Earth with a party popper and a change of song from meaningful and delicate, to the sound of whatever cheesy 80s song he switched to.

‘Lovetime’s over Mr and Mrs’ Tommy slurred. ‘Time for the Millers to show you ladies how we move.’

The girls cuddled up to you as you all took a seat on the garden swing, watching Joel, Tommy, Uncle Rufus and their dorky friends all take a shot of tequila and take to the dancefloor. Everyone was in fits of laughter and you and the girls joined the men in their cringe-fest.

This was bliss. The girls couldn’t resist Tommy’s charm, as he draped his arms over all three of your bestfriends. You threw fake evils at Tommy and he raised his glass to you, which you met with a wink. Your glass was empty, so you stumbled over to the bar and topped your glass up with a triple measure of Malibu and lemonade.

‘I love you but you disgust me’ Joel grabbed your hips and mocked you again for your drink choice. 

‘It tastes like cream soda, asshole.’ You laughed at him through a kiss, lips pressed to one another.

‘Classless.’ Joel smacked your ass and lit a cigarette. You swatted him off and drank your drink a bit too quickly. Somehow, everyone had hit a peak again and the party showed no signs of stopping. Until, you caught sight of Jess hunched over a plant pot, spewing up her mixed drinks.

You and Joel exchanged looks and he knew that was his sign to start herding the drunk and disorderly while you get the girls guest room sorted.

‘Come on babygirl, let’s get you sobered up’ you stroked Jess’ back and supported her on the venture upstairs. 

Joel said his goodbyes on your behalf, while you helped Jess take her makeup off and let her, Lottie and Rhea get snuggled up in bed and sleep off the alcohol.

You swept Leo up in your arms, and Joel locked up downstairs and joined you both in bed.

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The cool breeze left a spray of goosebumps over your bare leg which was exposed from the duvet. You searched to snuggle up to Joel, who was nowhere to be found.

You braced yourself to get up out of bed, before being struck down by the nausea and pounding headache. You laid back down, then sprinted to the bathroom.

Rhea slowly opened the guest bedroom door and you locked eyes, giving eachother the same ‘I’m never drinking again’ look. 

She came and sat on the cold bathroom floor with you, and you rested your head on her shoulder and fake sobbed.

‘Have you seen Joel?’ You asked.

‘Girl I don’t know what planet I’m on, let alone know what planet everyone else is on’

You nodded in acknowledgement then went and sprawled out on the bedroom floor, where you and your friends sat in silence.

‘Uhhh ladies’ Joel knocked on the door and smirked.

You all turned in unison to face him.

‘Downstairs is clean and tidy’ Joel winked at you and smiled. The girls cooed and you laughed and hopped up to kiss him. 

‘Starbucks?’ You asked the girls. 

You went and put on a Juicy tracksuit, Uggs and a pair of oversized sunglasses before standing in the bedroom doorway and nodding to the girls without saying a word. They nodded back and wished you luck.

‘And a Geek Bar please’ shouted Lottie.

‘You’re unhinged, but I’ll join you’ you shouted back.

Joel rolled his eyes and laughed at the hungover state of you. ‘Pathetic,’ he winked, and kissed you goodbye. 

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Your friends had gone and it was just you and Joel enjoying your morning. 

‘What’s the plan today, baby?’ Joel kissed your forehead as you melted into his chest.

‘Sunday Date Day?’ 

‘You’re a trooper, hangovers write me off for next four business days’ Joel whistled, surprised at your tenacity through the haze of next day tequila.

‘Let me shower and put some laundry on and we’ll do something cute. You wanna do something fun? Wanna go Taco Bell?’ You winked at Joel.

‘God Karen you’re so stupid’ Joel put on his best feminine accent and popped his hip with a palm to your face.

You squawked in his face, laughing at how well you had trained him. One thing Joel loved about you was your bursts of energy, and how when you were excited, you would just hop around like a puppy and run aimlessly in effort to be productive.

‘I’ll run you a bath, get the washer going and meet me there.’

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You bounced around for fifteen minutes putting laundry on and running the hoover round the house. Joel called your name and you met him in the bathroom. He had lit a candle and almost overflowed the bathtub with bubbles. He was perched on the side with a towel round his waist, and you slowly undressed and got in the tub with him.

He just about fit, he was so broad and tall. You layed back on his chest, and he drew circles on your stomach and placed kisses on your collarbone. 

‘Relaxed?’ Joel whispered.

The vanilla scented bubbles lapped at your chin, and you turned to face Joel, laying awkwardly on your stomach. You kissed him deeply as his hands explored your back. 

He grew hard beneath your stomach, and he readjusted himself, as you slithered up towards him, and propped your knees either side of his hips. The bathroom was almost silent, except for the drips of condensation falling from the mirror to the sink, and the splashes of water that echoed rhythmically with Joel’s soft moans. Your reached under yourself and positioned Joel’s cock so you could slowly slide down onto it and take in every inch of him. He placed his hands either side, and behind of, your neck to support you while you leaned your head back in pleasure. His fingers tangled in your hair, and he pressed his palms into the nape of your neck, trying to find a way to cope with the overwhelming feeling of your body grinding against him. His fingers circled the spot on your clit and he watched you with his mouth open in awe, as your skin glistened with sweat and body oil when you writhed and orgasmed. 

Your  pace quickened, as he pulled your hair back with one hand, firmer and forcefully. He held your wrists behind your back with his other hand as he finished inside you.

‘Worth the bad back tomorrow?’ You winked.

‘Always’ he exhaled into your neck and kissed you. You pulled the plug and both stood up, rinsing off under the shower head. 

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1pm rolled around, and you both decided to walk down to the farmer’s market and spend your Sunday eating and drinking before a cinema date tonight. 

You picked a bench in the back corner, in the autumn sun, wrapped up in a hoodie, leggings and a Lakers cap. Joel made a stupid joke and you both giggled like school children. Joel cleared his throat and stopped laughing as you carried on adding to the joke. You looked up at him as he stopped, and the noticed a figure imposing a shadow over your table, and blocking your sunlight.

The waft of Sauvage turned your stomach, and your throat went dry as James and a 5ft8 copper haired girl stood opposite you and Joel.

‘Joel, this is James.’ You croaked.

He looked at you confused, and you widened your eyes and gestured as if to say, how obvious can I make it?

He shook his head to snap back to reality. 

‘Broken wall guy?’ Joel stood up to shake his hand and James unwillingly accepted. You noticed Joel’s knuckles go white, clearly proving a point, or getting a kick out of making James squirm.

‘I’m Lexi’ the girl chirped, stepping around the bench to give you a cuddle. You took a step up and kissed her on the cheek instead.

James looked to the floor, and you stared him down.

‘Cute. Special occassion?’ You asked.

‘6 month anniversary’ Lexi giggled and pulled James close.

‘Now, if my maths is correct..’ Joel trailed off and sat back down. You elbowed him in the ribs, and James went red. The smile dropped off Lexi’s face, and her and James walked off mid sentence. 

You couldn’t help but look at Joel and you both erupted into laughter. This was closure for you, if it hadn’t already been 100%. Piece of shit. You kissed Joel, and he took your hand in his and rested on your thigh. 

He ordered another beer and you sipped a red wine. ‘God, I love you.’ He said, ‘I just want to love you and look after you for the rest of my life.’ 

‘That can be arranged’ you winked, and gestured to your empty ring finger.

He swiped his finger across your manicured finger, ‘Before or after babies?’ 

‘We can have all the babies’ you winked, eyes twinkling as your heart skipped a beat. 

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‘Remind me never to take you to the cinema again’ Joel huffed as you turned the key in the lock and walked through the door.

‘Yeah I’m not having it. Half an hour of trailers then over two hours of film. A girl simply cannot hold in almost a litre of soda for that long’ you justified. 

‘Self control. You’re toilet trained by now, no?’ Joel quipped.

‘Rude. So rude.’ You kicked your leg back, and threatened to shut the door in his face.

He grabbed a handful of your ass as you turned away.

‘Dinner?’ You asked.

‘No thanks, I’m trying to quit.’ 

‘You can’t say that to everything someone offers you. The bit isn’t working anymore’ you rolled your eyes.

‘Jeez not even a fake laugh for the birthday boy’ Joel kicked back in the sofa and rested Leo over his shoulder.

‘Don’t guilt trip me. I find the joke endearing, let me correct myself.’ 

‘Apology accepted.’

‘Tell me why I shouldn’t poison your food.’ 

You had your back to him, stood at the sink washing vegetables for dinner. He took his chance to jump and run through the doors that connected your living room and kitchen. He grabbed your hips and performed an obscene gesture, that you secretly loved. 

‘That is why’ Joel pulled you in and kissed your neck. 

‘You’re a menace’ you reached over your shoulder and flicked him with water, although a cold shower would be more appropriate. The man was insatiable.

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[not-wholly-unheroic]

Fellow Peter Pan fans, if you haven’t yet heard the Ballarat National Theater’s dramatized audiobook version, I highly recommend checking it out! It’s available for free on Apple Podcasts or in the Audible app (and probably other places as well). I’ll include a link below. It sticks pretty closely to the novel in most places but departs from it in a few ways that I think, for the most part, actually really add to the story rather than taking away from it. (Note: If you don’t want any spoilers about how the audio version differs from the actual novel, stop reading now and go directly to the link. If you want all the details, keep reading below the cut.)

A few things I noticed and found particularly interesting that the audio drama changed or added to the novel include the following:

- We get an actual voice actress for Tink and even someone doing the “voice” of Nana’s thoughts rather than just having the narrator read them.

- There is at least one bonus pirate and one bonus lost boy because??? The bonus lost boy is named Pockets (assuming after the character in Hook). The bonus pirate is called Chameleon.

- Skylights breaks the 4th wall and tells the narrator he doesn’t want to die as a demonstration and the narrator basically comes back with, “Sorry, that’s too bad, but this isn’t your story so….”

- Hook has a middle name and it’s the one Disney uses in Jake-verse (Bartholomew).

- Tiger Lily’s people are called “The Neverlanders” and are generally treated much more respectfully than in the novel and most other retellings in general. Their tribe is said to speak a language that is a precursor to Latin.

- The fairies crossing over Peter are on their way home from a “fairy ball.” I cackled because, man, that’s one of those, “If you know, you know,” things that most probably wouldn’t pick up on but I found hilarious. (It was definitely a ball and not an orgy… 😂)

- More 4th wall breaking by Tiger Lily, telling the narrator she was perfectly capable of escaping from the pirates herself.

- There are a couple of short breaks with these extra scenes. In one, the Lost Boys are griping about how the narrator is taking forever to get back to the story and reading over reviews from listeners.

- During a fight scene when Mr. Smee pulls out “Johnny Corkscrew,” we get a “Heeeeeere’s Johnny!” 😂 Definitely not a reference I was expecting!

- In another very cute short interruption, Mr: Smee is making soup and claims it has a bunch of disgusting stuff in it but Wendy is sure he’s joking and says it’s actually alright but missing something. The boys all start helpfully adding things they’ve found or brought with them—some of which are questionable—and then they ask Smee to try it. He acts like it has poisoned him and they’re all very concerned before he pops up with a, “Boo!” and they all laugh.

- Also, it’s hinted at one point that Mr. Smee may be a “Mrs.” in disguise. This may simply be a joke about the fact that the voice actor for Smee in this version is a woman or it might be something else. I suppose it’s left up to the listener.

- Peter has a few interesting parallels with Hook. Near the part where he is flying away out of the nursery window to leave the children, he has a quote that is very similar if not the exact same as one that Hook gives during his soliloquy.

- I’m just gonna say it straight out… I LOVE what they did with Hook in this version. They kept the dual casting of Mr. Darling and Hook and he’s the perfect actor for it. He has the sort of “growl” and the way of rolling his R’s that reminds me in some ways of Hans’ performance. They also do some great but subtle parallels between George and Hook. And during some of Hook’s rambling/soliloquy moments, we get most of what is in the book but it’s interspersed with a few things references to Shakespeare and Pilkington (a character in The Little White Bird who was based on a real-life teacher and who was sort of an early inspiration for/iteration of Hook). The ending for Hook is painful but incredibly well done. This Hook reacts to the crocodile much like “my” Hook does… When he is thinking, “The crocodile is about to board the ship” and when he asks the men to hide him, he starts just…repeating himself over and over in an increasingly desperate tone… Then, later, he has this almost…sigh of relief when Peter kicks before, “Bad form,” which is said less as an exclamation and more like…he’s releasing this weight off his shoulders. After the narrator says, “He went content to the crocodile,” we hear Hook humming something which I believe is the same tune we later hear Mary Darling playing in the nursery on the piano as the kids are coming home (“Home Sweet Home”). There is a quiet splash and a growl from the crocodile…and he’s gone. It’s perhaps the gentlest and most poignant ending I’ve seen done for Hook, and I really loved it. Mr. Darling is later heard singing a snatch of a sea shanty (“The Maid of Amsterdam”) and it’s like this little piece of Hook lives on. It’s just…super lovely.

So yeah. Love this version. LOVE this Hook. Go give it a listen!

[eddies-silly-art-gallery]

Made an Mane Six redesign/reboot based on Jenny Nicholson’s “The Applejack problem” !!!

So, if you haven’t seen the video, the premise is that there is a magic school ran by princess Celestia. All kinds of ponies are able to perform magic and every member of the mane 6 is a different kind of pony! Also, twilight is the reincarnation of princess Luna/nightmare moon and celestia is fostering her, trying to prevent her from turning back into nightmare moon.

I’ll explain my design process under the cut!

So, first of all! I wanted each pony to have a different main color, roughly fitting the colors of the rainbow. G4 almost did this, but they don’t have any green, so I changed that!

Now, let’s begin with the ponies!

Fluttershy

Fluttershy is a Breezy pony with a white coat, orange and magenta hair and magenta leaf shaped wings and antennae! He is also a boy now because Fluttershy is my favorite.

I’d imagine breezy ponies would be about the size of a g4 doll and have tinted acetate plastic wings shaped like different leaves and flowers.

For the colors, G3 Fluttershy and Posey did not convince me. Neither did Wysteria nor Sweetheart, which I also see associated with Fluttershy.

I attempted to look at ladybug themed ponies, but Ladybird and Lady Flutter were just pink, Twins baby Polka and baby Dot were too close to g4 fluttershy, and Lovely Ladybug was too purple. So I moved to other butterfly ponies.

I ended up having to decide between giving him G3 Fairy Dust’s colors or G2 baby Flitter’s colors. Ended up going with Fairy Dust.

If I were to make a revision, I’d make his mane fully orange since rn he is kinda too magenta heavy.

Applejack

The titular bitchular! Applejack is a wing pony with a green coat, a red braided mane and transparent red wings. Her colors are just G3 Applejack, but inverted.

I’d imagine Wing Ponies would be around g1 sized, but with g2/g4 proportions. Their wings would be transparent acrylic.

Rarity Sparkler

Sparkler is a glow pony with a sky colored coat, an indigo and magenta mane and two horns. She’s using G1 Sparkler’s near exact colors. Called her sparkler because that fit more with her being a glow pony.

Glow ponies would glow in the dark, have two or three horns and have tinsel on their hair. They would be the same size as wing ponies.

Twilight Sparkle Twinkle

A lavender unicorn filly with a deep blue mane with a periwinkle stripe. She might or might not wear pigtails and she has glasses. Her colors are mainly based on G3 twilight twinkle and beta g4 twilight twinkle. Decided to use twinkle instead of sparkle bc sparkler was already a character.

Unicorns would be the same size as wing and glow ponies, but twilight is a filly, so she is small. Like, g1 baby sized.

Pinkie Pie

Not much too say, she’s just pinkie pie. She is now a crystal pony.

Crystal ponies would be about the size of a g3 pony, and have clear acrylic bodies with glitter in them.

Rainbow dash Cloudy Kicks

Cloudy kicks is a yellow soft pony with magenta, green and cyan hair. Her colors I chose bc I thought she looked nice, though she kinda looks like g3 alphabittle. Named her Cloudy Kicks (MLPEG BG character in G4) because I thought it would suit her better now that she is a soft pony.

Soft ponies would be the same size as crystal ponies. They would have the same flocking gimmick as the so-soft line, but with the addition of a wooly or furry underbelly.

[kitthepurplepotato]

Chapter 19 - Cards against humanity.

Part 2 of Winter Wonderland!

Summary: The gang makes it to the cabins. Izuku and Y/N tries out the fluffy rug in front of the fireplace. The heroes play Cards Against Humanity (MHA version) while drunk. Things get out of hand really quickly.

Warnings: Swear words, suggestive, drinking, drunk shenanigans, absolutely vile Cards Against Humanity cards so please, be aware that this chapter contains a lot of uhm… stuff. 16 +

First Chapter Master List KO-FI page

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

“I won, motherfuckers!” Katsuki yells victoriously as he makes it to the top of the mountain with Eijirou in his tail. Needless to say, everyone is in pieces; there’s so much panting going on, Rody is meters behind everyone, actually hyperventilating, you, Kyouka and Izuku are somewhere in the middle but only because Izuku gave you a piggy back ride (with black whip because he’s a good boy and he knows his limits.)

“I’m never… going camping with… heroes… ever again.” Rody pants, his legs shaking like a leaf.

“Who asked you to run with us, huh?” Katsuki retorts with a devilish smirk. “Know your place, weakling!”

“I thought… we are done … hating each other?!” Rody pants.

“This is how he loves, Rody.” Kirishima sighs.

“Jesus, stop fucking talking and sit the fuck down for a second, do you want to die or something?!” Katsuki yells with a red face, from embarrassment or just from the cold, no one will ever know.

The view is absolutely stunning up here; you can see the whole city underneath, the fairy lights connected to the street lights are sparkling happily, the snowflakes are massive but their flow is quite sparse at the moment so you can see everything perfectly as the snow doesn’t obstruct the view too much. Up on the mountain where you are standing right now, the snow is fresh and crisp, completely untouched except for the few imprints of your own shoes, the cabins are also covered in white, fairly lights attached to every single one of them, all sparkling in different colors to make the cabins distinguishable (probably in case someone gets too drunk to remember which cabin they rented. Haha).

“I’m sure I don’t really need to tell you who stays with who but I will do it anyway.” Shouto speaks up as well, clearly excited to be able to do his usual shenanigans. “First cabin: Hitoshi, Denki and Kyouka.” Kyouka and Denki cheers happily. Hitoshi looks… a little bit gobsmacked.

“You guys are getting the bigger cabin which has three separate rooms, so you can sleep alone if you need privacy or you can just use the massive master bedroom and have a sleepover!” Rody chimes in, picking up on the grumpy vibes coming from the lilac haired man.

“Oh, Rody! Do you mind sharing the other big cabin with us?” Yaomomo smiles.

“Yeah, that’s perfect for me!”

“With that said.” Shouto continues. “Momo, Rody and I will share the second cabin. Tamaki and Mirio will get the third one, Katsuki and Eijirou the fourth, which has a massive common space apparently, and Izuku and Y/N are getting the last cabin.”

“If there are any invisible individuals hiding in a bushes, please speak up now. The cabins will be locked overnight and it’s freezing outside.” Yaomomo adds, looking around with clear suspicion.

“Hagakure is not here.” Kyouka speaks up. “I personally asked if she would like to come but she’s away on a mission in America.”

“Splendid.” Momo mutters. “Please make sure to take some pictures for the people who couldn’t make it today. They might not be here in person but let’s make them feel included by sending them selfies and pictures of the place.”

“There’s no reception up here but there is wi-fi in the cabins! Don’t ask how they made that happen, but… yeah.” Rody scratches the back of his head sheepishly.

“Okay, so...” Momo continues. “This is where we usually give warnings, but seeing your faces, I think there is no need to do this today. But please, drink responsibly and don’t do stupid things. Only go outside in groups during the night.”

“Don’t go into the attached onsen while drunk. Trust me, it doesn’t end well if you do.” Rody chimes in, embarrassed. “Hot water and alcohol are a really bad combination.”

“Thank you for your helpful input, Rody! I’m glad to have another reasonable person in this group!”

“You guys know he only knows that because he fucking tried, right?” Katsuki mutters, rolling his eyes aggressively.

“That’s a fair point. But he learnt his lesson!” Mirio, the symbol of positivity adds.

“Hey, can you do something about that rainbow coming out of your ass? It hurts my eyes.” Katsuki makes a snarky comment, trying his best to sound menacing but he can barely hide his smile.

“Stop looking at my juicy peach then!” Mirio turns away, showing off his indeed juicy butt to the “audience” by bending over. The whole gang roars.

“Is this another gay thing I don’t understand?” Shouto asks his girlfriend with a bamboozled look on his face.

“I think it’s just a Mirio thing, to be absolutely honest.” Momo giggles with a fond look on her face. “Let’s go, guys!” She yells once more and everyone makes their way towards their respective cabin.

Izuku takes your hand in his and pulls you towards the cabin excitedly; you go without a single retort.

~•🥦•~

“This is so cute!” You yell excitedly right as you go through the main door.

This cabin looks so homey it makes you want to cry. Everything is wood and it’s just how you imagined it in your daydreams; there is a massive, cosy sofa full of blankets, almost the size of a normal living room, yellow fairy lights everywhere on the ceiling. There is a massive fireplace built into the wall, heat emanating from the fire that the staff has started before you arrived, filling the room with warmth and that lovely scent of burning wood.

“The fluffy rug!” Izuku points at the pure white rug by the fireplace exitedly. “It has a fluffy rug!” He doesn’t even let you put your backpack down before he pulls you towards it with childish glee.

“Izuku, we only have half an hour!”

“Shut up, wifey.”

“Izuku, what the hell?!” You giggle to yourself, given up on resisting quite quickly; Izuku takes that as a win and pulls you into his lap, slowly taking the backpack off your shoulders. He throws it on the massive sofa with the help of black whip, then lies down on the fluffy rug with you on top of him. Huh. This position is quite… uhm… suggestive. Huh, take a few deep breaths, will ya?!

You look down to see Izuku’s face and damn, that was a mistake; his hair is splayed out on the rug, his pine green hair even brighter in the sunlight coming in from the massive windows behind him; his face is pink from the cold, his eyes full of wonder as he looks up at you. You can’t help but lower yourself down, leaning on your elbows so you can look into those emerald eyes with nothing but love.

“Hi.” You mutter, your eyes slowly moving down to his puffy lips.

“Kiss me.”

That’s all it took to loose your composure. One sentence.

You kiss him with all you’ve got while Izuku’s hands snake inside your coat and your shirt and the touch sets your whole body ablaze; you slowly open Izuku’s own coat to be able to touch him properly, you hate all these layers, it’s way too hot in here, way too much for your little heart to take in, knowing it can’t go anywhere right now, but you can’t stop, you just can’t, his scent is so addicting, that citrusy pine, that hint of wood and sweat, it’s so Izuku…

You make a small whimper when you feel Izuku’s tongue dancing with yours while he pulls you closer and closer until every single one of your body parts touch.

“Calm down.” You mutter to him (and to yourself), your actions saying the opposite as you deepen the kiss even more. You’ll never get used to being able to this, to kiss the man of your dreams. Needless to say the half an hour passes before you can even put your stuff down properly; you can’t stop enjoying each other on the fluffy rug, probably smelly from all the sweat because heavily kissing in five layers of clothing is the stupidest thing you two could have done right before Katsuki’s grill party. Both of you start laughing as your alarm goes off.

“Well, uhm… should we roll in the snow for a few minutes before we go?” You snicker with your nose in Izuku’s neck.

“Should we just skip it and uhm… continue this?” Izuku retorts back. You can’t help but giggle once again.

“Do you want to die a slow, torturous death?”

“I’m quite sure I’ll be beaten to pulp the second we go through that door while looking like this anyway.”

“Fair point. Let’s go.” You try to pull yourself up but Izuku is not having it.

“One more kiss.”

… you got there half an hour late. I know, shocking.

~•🥦•~

“Today we are playing… drum beats please…” Denki’s body is about to burst from all the energy. Katsuki, still busy plating the food, stops for a second and beats on his thighs. “Thank you! We are playing… cards against humanity!”

The whole gang yells “NOOOOOOOO!”. Except for Denki and Katsuki. They look fucking thrilled.

“And I thought today will be easy.” Momo sighs exasperatedly.

“I want to go home.” Tamaki mutters to Mirio who only smiles at him.

“Okay guys, you don’t need to play if you don’t want to!” Denki retreats. “You guys can be the judges! So who’s playing?”

“Fuck yes!” Katsuki yells.

“I’m in!” Kirishima also joins.

“Hmm…” Izuku mutters then his smile changes into a shit-eating grin. “Fuck yeah.”

“Oh my god, Izuku swore! Hell yeah, man!”

You swear you see some electricity crackling around Denki. Bro must me really excited.

“I think I want to try this game.” Shouto mutters as well.

“Amajiki and I will play together if that’s okay!” Mirio chimes in; bless him, he’s such a sweetheart for trying to keep the shy man in the loop without him being in the centre of attention, knowing way too much that he would probably shit himself if he’d need to read the cards out loud in front of all these people.

Momo, Rody, you and Hitoshi became the judges of the game. You have a feeling this will be a lot of fun.

~•🥦•~

“What would Granma find disturbing, yet oddly charming?” Rody reads out the question loud, buzzing from energy. “Come on, don’t disappoint me.”

The players are already laughing their ass off as they look through their cards. Rody collects the cards and can barely stop laughing.

“All Might’s massive thighs on your face. Wow. Kinky.”

“Shigaraki’s five hundred broken fingers.” Hitoshi reads the next one. “Wow. That’s a good one.”

“Deku’s Big, weird eyes.” You giggle as you read the next card. “That was Katsuki’s. Hundred percent.”

“Oh my god, I really don’t want to read this…. Hawk’s out of control blowjob parties.” Momo’s whole face flushes. The whole gang roars.

“Fat Gum’s soft belly. Awww!”

“Communism. This card is so dry it must have come from Shouto.”

“Fuck you, Rody.”

“Rude.”

~•🥦•~

“Bonus features include never-before-seen footage of…” Momo reads the next question.

This game is getting out of hand already.

“A severed horse penis being hurled at a politician. Okay who the fuck was that?” You giggle to yourself.

“Who the fuck do you think?” Katsuki replies with a shit eating grin.

“A sad, old man. Is that supposed to be an All Might reference?”

“You can NOT just call All Might a sad old man!” Izuku gawks, offended. Everyone ignores him.

“Wigs made of executed LOV members. That’s… wow.”

“All for One riding a baby horse. I need to see that.”

~•🥦•~

“You need to sit here and think about…” You read out the next question. The boys look more and more drunk as the game goes. Izuku is giggling to himself like an idiot the whole time and it’s the cutest thing you’ve ever seen.

“Stabbing a guy in the eye with an arrow, pulling it out and shooting another guy with it.”

Everyone looks at Katsuki. It’s just so obvious that it’s him.

“Casually suggesting a threesome. Someone needs to get laid.” Rody comments and Kyouka grins like an idiot.

“Throwing your dad into a dumpster and yelling “who’s the daddy now?”” You can’t help but literally snort out loudly at this one. “Okay, I don’t even care about the rest, this one wins.”

“It was me.” Shouto admits and the whole gang gawks at him.

“Damn, I’m impressed.” Even Katsuki can’t help but comment on this one.

“Momo says I have daddy issues.” He mumbles back with a straight face, his cheeks blushed from the alcohol.

Half of the team ends up on the floor, dying.

Kaminari resigns from the game and stays on the floor for the rest of the night.

~•🥦•~

“This year, I’m going to dedicate 100% of my energy to:” Hitoshi reads the card and takes one of the answer cards into his hand. “A Nomu wearing a tiny raincoat and booties. Okay, that’s quite disturbing but kinda cute.”

“You are cute.” Kaminari giggles, still on the floor, completely wasted. An exasperated sigh leaves Hitoshi’s mouth.

“You always talk nonsense when you are drunk.”

“You are cute though. Don’t sell yourself short buddy!” Rody smiles at the purple haired man who flushes aggressively.

“He can’t sell himself short. He’s tall.” Kaminari mutters and goes back to sleep. Your tummy hurts so much from all the laughing but you can’t help but laugh once again.

“Worshipping Stain’s right ear hole.” Momo snort sat this one. “This game has no filter.”

“Sucking Dynamight’s dick until it explodes.” You read the next card, flushing like a virgin.

“I like this game.” Katsuki laughs proudly. “The creator has a good taste.”

“Oh my god, Katsuki.” Eijirou giggles next him with an incredulous look on his face.

“What?” Katsuki retorts. “Feels nice to be appreciated!”

“Time to stop drinking, Kats. Your soft side is coming out.”

“Whatever.”

“Licking shoes.” Everyone looks at Shouto. Shouto just shrugs.

~•🥦•~

“Last round because you all had too much to drink.” Rody reprimands, looking at the pile of people on the floor. The only ones still paying are Mirio, Katsuki, Shouto and Izuku. Tamaki is still sober but he decided to sit in the corner, right next to the pile of people to “keep an eye on them”. It’s absolutely hilarious. You can’t help but take a picture of it. Hitoshi looks like he’s ready to kill as he stares at Denki and Kyouka snuggled up on the floor, right next to the fireplace. No one comments on it. They are too terrified of drunk Hitoshi to do so. “Who’s hot and smelly and about to die?”

“A fucked up alien fish from the deep.” You read the first card.

“All for one’s hope for a “better” future. Damn.” Rody laughs.

“Red Riot’s popularity.” At that, Katsuki smirks right at his drunk fiancé who gives him a side glare for being an asshole. “Oi, it was a joke, you are literally the hottest man walking on Earth.”

When Momo reads the last card, she almost chokes on their saliva.

“We have a winner, guys.” She smirks and shows the card to the rest of the team.

The card simply says…

“Endevour.”

“Jesus fuck, I’m dying.” Katsuki laughs like a maniac, reading out the card out loud. Even Kaminari wakes up to the loud laughter that seems to never end. Izuku is literally crying at this point.

“Oh my god, I will burn in hell for laughing at this but… I can’t stop!”

“Izuku, take a deep breath!” You whine, still laughing your ass off.

“One extra round?” Katsuki smirks at the his friends and he completely ignores the group’s loud “NOOOOOO!” And takes a card from the pile. It’s a two card one, this time. “Okay fuckers, let’s take 5 more extra cards and let’s have some fun with it.” Katsuki gives the card to you to read it out loud.

“Dying from - something - is painless, but I would still prefer -something-. Three, two, one, go!”

This time, everyone reads their own cards out loud because the drunk idiots forgot how to play this game. It’s only Katsuki, Shouto and Mirio in the game now, Izuku laughed so much he made himself sick and now he’s resting in your lap, trying not to throw up. He’s so silly sometimes, honestly.

“They say dying from a tiny dick is painless, but I would still prefer sex with a blindfold.” Katsuki smirks, clearly proud of his own creation.

“Not today, babe.” Kirishima mumbles from the floor and that’s when the whole team roars. Katsuki looks like he’s about to explode.

“They say dying from shame is painless but I would still prefer another war with All for One.” Mirio reads his own answer with a massive smile on his face.

“Damn.”

“They say dying from a firm tofu is painless, but I would still prefer choking on pro hero Deku’s humongous dick.” Shouto KILLS everyone with his his answer. At least half of the gang has tears in their eyes.

Izuku chokes on his own saliva then laughs for a few minutes with his hands on his belly and… runs to the toilet to throw up.

“Emotional damage.” Hitoshi mumbles, smiling like an idiot.

Shouto somehow wins the game. His reward is one of Kaminari’s concoctions that was left on the kitchen counter. Shouto joins Izuku in the toilet a few minutes later.

“Why can’t you guys party like normal people?” Momo sighs, already sobered up.

“Why can’t you pull that stick out of your ass and relax for once?”

“Oh, you mean this one?” Momo creates a random stick from her lower back instead of her tummy, making the whole gang roar once again. It really looked like she just took that out of her ass, bless her creativity for that.

“Katsuki, I can’t laugh anymore. I’m in agony.” Eijirou whimpers on the floor, completely, utterly done with life. You must admit, he looks extremely hot, disheveled like that. Like damn, that guy is a fucking snack. Good job, Katsuki. Good fucking job.

Okay, you definitely had way too much to drink today.

“I’ll get Izu-Izu from the toilet.” You mutter as you stand up from the sofa.

“I’ll take the three bozos home then come back for Shouto.” Momo sighs as he makes his way towards the pile of people on the floor.

“I’ll help!” Tamaki SMILES at her and the whole team gawks. “What? I had fun. And Denki gave me his drink to finish.”

“Oh no, he’s been tainted with the Denki juice.” Hitoshi mumbles. Tamaki answers by growing a potato on his arm. “Huh. I guess there was vodka in it.”

Needless to say, NO ONE makes it home after that. At least the floor is nice and warm, thanks to the lovely fireplace in the wall. Katsuki doesn’t even look surprised, he just throws a bunch of blankets on everyone and lies down next to Eijirou, giggling to himself happily.

“Best party ever.”

… Next Chapter!

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TL: @garfieldthomas @porusuniverse @stickygumchewer @sixxze @mily-moo @aei-sedai-moiraine @aymasakusa @katsuari @kenzie-deadly @shiviwrites07 @lukerycyja-reblogs @cloroxisadelectabletreat @coffeent @kisskissshutmydoor @bobcar1 @yazminetrahan @cringefan @ronimacaroni77 @themultifandomgirl @dangerousluv1 @emperatris-rinaka @shotos-angelic-whore @angelsdemonsmonsters @norvacaine @rei165 @unofficialmuilover @yao-ai @happydragonfrog @eeerreehhh @vinivave @alyss-eiz @sleepisfortheweakpooh

[artist-issues]

Screentime For the Prince

You know how in the original Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, each character's true nature is revealed by what they choose to treasure?

You know, Grumpy treasures safety because his true nature is vulnerable, the Queen treasures beauty because her true nature is ugly, and Snow White is the only one who's treasure is as true as her nature: pure love?

And how the Prince only gets around 5 minutes of screentime, and in those 5 minutes, proves that he A) treasures Snow White's true nature of pure love and B) keeps his promises?

Well, I was thinking. In the new Live Action, they're basically writing in a different male character in place of the Prince and not focusing on any kind of love story. So it's not actually "Snow White." But what would a good, faithful, beautiful adaptation of Snow White look like? (You know, one that actually does adaptations correctly--like Cinderella 2015?)

What should they be doing with the Prince?

I have a general idea below.

I mean, they can't introduce him in the same way they did in the classic animation. Obviously modern people aren't used to so much nuance in their big-screen fairy tales anymore; 5 minutes of screentime isn't enough, we prefer Mr. Darcy & Lizzie Bennet-levels of couple-building interactions, at least. And that's okay.

But it means we have to fill in a lot of the blanks about where this Prince comes from and why he values Snow White's "pure love nature" so strongly.

So I figure, in my head, it might look something like:

The Prince (let's call him Walther, German for "Walt," since basically everybody who worked on the original movie agrees that it was Walt's big brain child, and the popularized "Ferdinand" is not only fan-made but makes me think of a kindhearted bull) is the heir to a neighboring kingdom's throne.

Prince Walther isn't King yet, not because his parents are still King and Queen (they're dead,) but because tradition states he can only take the throne once he's come of age. Prince Walther's like 17, turning 18. So instead, his kingdom is essentially run by this council of busybodies, with one Regent holding the throne until he's old enough to take it. Something like that.

(the picture is of Dean Stockwell who's the son of the original voice actor for the Prince, I think someone who looks like him ought to be cast.) Prince Walther experienced pure love from his parents, who treated him like a normal boy and didn't place much emphasis on courtly manners or politics when raising him. But then they died tragically, leaving their honest and innocent son to be raised by a bunch of old people who put way TOO much emphasis on those things.

Because everyone in Prince Walther's court has had to handle being next-door neighbors to the Wicked Queen's country. They're all super political, and afraid of appearing weak, and therefore, very insincere. That's what I'm saying.

Everyone he interacts with on a daily basis never comes out and says what they really want. Nobody is genuine. He lives a life of hearing words like, "good morning Your Majesty, I hope you slept well. The Grand Duke could certainly stand to sleep better; the poor fellow looked run down at breakfast." but learning that what they actually mean is, "The Duke is getting old and ineffective and when your birthday passes you should decree that he give his land and resources away to me."

And he misses the genuine love the court used to feel from his parents' kind, simple way of ruling. No political games, no complex feuds. Plus, he misses the personal love they shared as a family, genuine, uncomplicated. He missed the days when people just say what they really want, unafraid, so that their rulers can take care of their needs.

Then there's the problem of why Prince Walther's in the Wicked Queen's realm in the original movie--that's not his territory, if he has his own kingdom.

So I think it would be neat and interesting if the Queen wants Walther's land. Maybe she invited his parents, way back when, to a kind of audience to negotiate an alliance. Then she got jealous of his mother's beauty, maybe even tried to seduce Prince Walther's father, and assassinated them both when he rebuffed her. Oo, maybe even the Huntsman (her FAITHFUL Huntsman) helped her do it all those years ago.

But she didn't realize they had a young son, so she couldn't just raise her hand and say, "Hey Neighboring Kingdom, it's too bad your monarchs both mysteriously died--don't worry, I'll be your new leader" because Prince Walther's council suspected foul play (they always do, they're suspicious people) and were preemptively like "NO NO WE HAVE A PRINCE, WE HAVE A PRINCE! We're fine, we don't need help, everything's fine."

So she sort of had to stew on that. Maybe she even tried a couple more halfhearted attempts to get their throne, and they just never worked out--then eventually her attention was occupied by how much older her stepdaughter was getting, and how much prettier.

Anyway, Prince Walther asks for an audience with the Wicked Queen; he's about to become King, and he knows that the council fears their neighbor, and he sort of wants to go over and size the next-door ruler up for himself. So he rides over with a little delegation of the members of the Court he can actually tolerate the best, and is visiting.

It's not fun. They're only there for a day, but the Wicked Queen is definitely scary. For one thing, she's unnaturally beautiful and everyone he brought with him is either stupefied in her presence or terrified. He himself is very confused by her; he's an open-hearted guy, with a touch of naïveté even though he was raised with good intuition and doesn't trust the Queen. All audiences with her are full of all the formal, double-and-triple meaning conversations that he hates back home; except worse, because she makes everything seem more sinister.

So after a particularly weird conversation with the Queen where he can't decide if she was flirting with him or threatening his kingdom, he goes for a ride around the courtyard to clear his head. And what should he hear, like a breath of the freshest air since his parents died?

A pure, beautiful voice. A young girl singing--and not just singing about anything, but singing about what she really wants. Genuinely. Her heart's fondest desire--and it's not power, or land, or even freedom. Just love. She's singing loudly, like she doesn't care who might hear such a vulnerable longing.

And he climbs over the wall and sees this scullery maid. She's absolutely beautiful, even though she's dressed all in rags, and he loves the picture of her: sharing her heart with doves, who feel completely safe with her, and not having to worry about what anyone thinks of her.

He sort of eavesdrops on her for a little bit, and in this part of the movie, maybe we learn how impulsive he is. He just jumps over and tries to join in. Maybe it's even a little funny. And we can stretch out the feelings behind the part where Snow White runs from him--that feeling of her being unsure of a stranger, not because she worries about what he thinks, but because it's so surprising that anyone is taking notice of her so abruptly at all. And she doesn't know him.

Maybe he asks to extend his stay at the Queen's palace and keep negotiating or whatever, but he really just wants to get to know the scullery maid better.

Then the romance is sort of still fast, but built in a way that the audience can sink their teeth into. The Prince and Snow White have a few more mutually-agreed-upon meetings, not necessarily hiding them, but just in breaks between courtly audiences with the wicked Queen. They're both enamored with each other: she's never been treated so kindly by anyone and his whole faith in pure, innocent love and uncomplicated, genuine people is being restored just by talking to her. They bond chiefly over missing their parents.

Eventually he learns that she is the Queen's daughter--maybe from the Huntsman, maybe from Snow herself in an innocent way. He's stunned that she's treated so poorly, but the second he learns it, he confesses that he loves her and he wants to take her away from there. Plus, this solves the whole "will my kingdom go to war with the Wicked Queen or be allies even though we can't trust her" diplomacy thing--Snow White is her heir, so it would be a beautiful twist of Providence that the girl he has fallen in love with can also be the alliance of peace for the kingdoms through marriage.

Snow White accepts his proposal, but she's afraid for a moment that her stepmother won't allow it. The Prince urges her not to be afraid: he'll take her to his castle and they'll be happy no matter what: he promises it, he gives her his word, he encourages her not to worry because he won't let anything stop him. It's lovely. She finally has someone she can gift her superpower of pure love to, and someone who can treasure her like she deserves.

Problem is, the Queen overhears this last conversation, right after learning that Snow White is the new "Fairest of All" from her mirror, just like in the original film.

So while the Prince is convincing his council that he's proposed to Snow White, the Queen's largely-unknown secret stepdaughter, and is going to reveal the fact to the Queen tomorrow, the Huntsman and the Queen herself are plotting the assassination attempt that eventually leads to Snow running for her life and living with the Dwarfs before she ever gets the chance to see her betrothed again.

Then the movie unfolds largely the same way it did, but with more dialogue and nuance strengthening the original's main themes: Snow White is pure love in nature, and that's everything the Prince has been missing, and he fulfills his promise which she has total faith in. And along the way, the Dwarfs learn to care more about protecting an innocent girl than they care about protecting themselves, and treasuring a person over jewels. Grumpy in particular. And the Queen dies because she's a jealous witch who's self-love has twisted her into something ugly.

Basically, what I'm saying is, there's a way to make the Prince compelling for audiences who are now used to more fleshed-out interactions in movie couples. Just give him a background that is longing for pure, uncomplicated, innocent love. Then when he runs into Snow White, who's never been treasured and valued since her parents died, they give each other everything they've been longing for--and then they have faith in one another when circumstances, both funny and sinister, force them apart.

It's like the Notebook (just in story structure)--you build up romance in the first act through a few poignant scenes, but then the rest of the movie is about waiting for that romance to be fulfilled.

Anyway. I guess I could've said all this more succinctly, but I was kind of making it up as I went. 🤷‍♀️

[snazzynacho]

SnazzyNacho’s Masterlist!

Basically a list of all my fanfics etc :) I write predominantly female oc’s/readers but sometimes gender neutral.

Last updated: 22nd Feb 2025

Requests: Closed

Asks open!

I do NOT consent to my work being copied or reposted anywhere.

If you want to find me elsewhere, I am on ao3 & Wattpad (same username.)

Key:

✅ = completed

WIP = work in progress/unfinished yet

✍️ = currently working on

❓= on hold

🚫= abandoned

🔞= smut/dark themes (check tags)

GLADIATOR II:

Sick Side - pt. 1, 2/? — Florentia is betrothed to Geta, but Caracalla is dangerously obsessed with her. 18+ WIP 🔞✍️

Geta:

Emperor of Time - 1, 2/? - Emperor Publius Septimius Geta somehow time travels to the future. With no way home and no idea how he ended up in a random woman’s living room in—he later works out to be—modern-day Britannia, he is forced to adjust as well as he can. And, maybe the woman talking a funny-sounding-gibberish-language to him, might not be all that bad…The gods have plucked him from his wealthy imperial-born path and plunged him deep into the unknown—a time of the modern world. Will he accept this fate or brutally shove it back into their mocking faces? #emperoroftime WIP✍️

Bloodthirsty Demon - You and your husband Geta get worked up over a bloody gladiatorial fight. Geta is engrossed by your bloodthirstyness. (Oh, and Caracalla’s there too, being cute hehe.) (pre-gladiator II I guess.)✅🔞

NSFW Alphabet (Geta x you) 🔞✅

The Gladiatrix - (WIP)

A Blessing or a Curse - (WIP)

Caracalla:

NSFW Alphabet (Caracalla x reader) 🔞✅

When in Rome - 1/? - Willow somehow wakes up in Ancient Rome. Caracalla likes what he sees… ✍️🔞

Marcus Acacius:

None yet.

Lucius/Hanno:

None yet.

Lucilla:

None yet.

Commodus:

None yet

The Fantastic Four: First Steps: (2025)

Johnny Storm:

None yet.

The White Lotus:

Quinn Mossbacher:

In Common: (chapters 1/?) Aleena notices a boy around her age stuck on a level in a game she's played. She offers her help, and a lovely friendship turned romance blossoms between them. WIP

Fear Street Part One 1994:

Simon Kalivoda:

None yet.

Joker (2019):

Arthur Fleck:

Love You - You’re experiencing chronic pain but your partner, Arthur, is here for you. WIP✍️

Her (2013)

Theodore Twombly:

None yet

LOTR:

Aragorn:

Where Fairies Wander - Aragorn x fem!fairy!OC (WIP, on hold) ❓

The Hobbit:

Thorin Oakenshield:

Snapdragon & Co. - (chapters 3/?) mainly a Thorin Oakenshield x Fem!fairy!elf!OC (on hold)❓

Fili Durin:

Falling Behind - Fili x gn!fairy!reader: the reader is staying in Mirkwood and goes to investigate why the dwarves are imprisoned only to try and cheer up a grumpy Fili. Much to the reader’s surprise his grumpyness is to do with them! (WIP)

The Hunger Games trilogy:

Finnick Odair:

Eternal Blue - In which two former child victors are forced into the Hunger Games to fight. Each other, this time.❓

The Mermaid Mutt - As Finnick and the other previous Victors know, a Quarter Quell is much different from an average Hunger Games, and this year Snow has plans for a new type of Mutt to stir things up.❓

One Piece/OPLA:

Sun and Moon - (Chapters 2/?) Sanji x afab!OC (and a lil bit of OC x Buggy, & possible Nami x oc) In which twin sisters Nadja and Relia, who are running from the Marines and chasing adventure, bump into a lying young man, an annoying clown and a group with a straw-hat-wearing boy for a leader. Thus chaos ensues.❓

Yellowjackets (showtime):

Jackie Taylor:

None yet

The Umbrella Academy:

Diego Hargreeves:

Haven - (chapters 1/?) Beth meets Diego in a sketchy alley. He is beating someone up and she happens to be nearby. She asks if he needs any help. He seems to say no, but she sticks around for some reason anyway. She ends up saving him from a night at the police station and for that he’ll forever be in debt. Join her on an adventure of discovering superpowers, time travel and a family’s messy dynamic she didn’t know was living right under her nose. ❓

Dad Diego headcanons ✅

The Band Ghost:

None yet.

Kingsman:

Eggsy Unwin:

Princess - (chapters 1/?) in which the posh girl and the chav fall in love. Closed-off and un-admittedly stuck-up Gwendolyn Winslet is one of ten candidates training to be chosen for the open place at Kingsman. If she passes she will become a Kingsman, or rather, Kingslady. One person in particular - who on paper does not belong there - catches her attention, for better or for worse? ❓

Peter Pan (2003):

Wendy-Bird - it’s the night before Wendy’s 18th birthday but she doesn’t want to grow up because that means she truly won’t ever be able to see Peter again and she'll be forced to marry a horrid man. So, in the dead of night, she steps up onto her window ledge and steps off of it. Before she expects to hit the ground, she feels herself stop mid-air and a pair of arms wrap around her waist.

“Wendy Darling, what are you doing jumping out of a window?” a familiar voice whispers into her ear. ❓

RPF:

Bojan Cvjetićanin:

Behind Closed Doors - (Chapters 3/?) You are one of Käärijä's dancers for Eurovision 2023 and Bojan can't keep his eyes off of you. Meanwhile, you deal with conflicting feelings between him and your best friend Käärijä... ❓🚫

Wrong Number - (chapters 2/?) In which a woman accidentally texts the wrong number, and it might be the best mistake she's ever made: On the day of the 2023 Eurovision semi-final, which Poppy is attending, she excitedly sends a text to her sister, Clover, — a selfie of her standing outside the venue. Little does she know she hadn't actually sent it to her sister... ❓

[homestuckreplay]

do you have any theories about gG? Since there are 2 white haired characters (rose and dave) I wonder if they'll have black hair like John? Or maybe something else.

aahhhh thank you so much for this ask!!

I think you are absolutely right about the black hair - now that we have three characters fairly well fleshed out, it's easy to predict how GG might complete that square. a lot of my speculation is based on that, for example:

based on current gender identities we have two boys and one girl, so GG is probably a girl

key family members of characters are a dad, a mom, and a brother, so GG probably has a sister who's important in their life

John is into movies, Rose into literature and Dave into music, so GG might be into visual art, comic books, or television (perhaps sitcoms or cartoons, purely based off their vibes)

more generally there are a lot of parallels between John and Dave's interests (specific video games and webcomics) so we might see the same with Rose and GG -

Rose and Dave have 'needlekind' and 'bladekind' strife specibi (sharp weapons) while John has 'hammerkind' (blunt weapon), so GG might have something like 'crowbarkind' or 'ladlekind'

Stack/queue, tree, and hash map are all relatively common data structures, graph seems to be another fairly common one, so GG might have a graph fetch modus

John and Dave's houses are decorated with clowns and puppets (sharing a circus/performance theme) while Rose's is decorated with wizards - GG's might be full of a different magical being, for example mermaids, fairies, or vampires

all three characters are associated with disguise and concealment, John's more physical and Rose and Dave's more emotional - GG might have makeup or face paint among their interests

we meet John when it's clear and sunny, Rose when it's dark and stormy, Dave when it's blazing hot, perhaps we'll meet GG where it's freezing cold and snowing?

John and Rose play fairly 'standard' classical instruments (piano and violin) while Dave is into beats and remixes and modern music technology - GG might be a songwriter/lyricist to match that creative aspect, or might play a more modern instrument like a synthesizer or electric guitar

John and Dave both attempt to create digital things (failed coding files and weird blogs/webcomics) while Rose creates physical things (knitting projects) so GG might have an interest in painting, collage, model making, rube goldberg machines, etc

John's shirt symbol is a similar color to GG's text, so GG's shirt might be a dark blue like John's text. Also, John and Rose both have Creatures on their shirts while Dave has a record, so GG might also have a music/technology based symbol, perhaps a cassette tape?

I've noticed that all the characters have four letter/one syllable names so far, so GG probably does too. All three names are fairly common, and Rose is nature themed, so GG's name could go down either route. Based on their personality, some options I like could be Beth, Fern, Elle, Skye or Sage.

But if I was picking their name, I'd go for Evie - it's two syllables, but its biblical allusion would make sense with the story's themes so far and the username gardenGnostic.

if anyone else has any GG theories, either based on the text or wildly speculative, I would love to hear them!!

[ludicrousbird]

EVENT IDEAS AND STUFF (PT. 1)

I previously mentioned in a post that I have been theorizing and predicting possible TWST events and i have been right two times now. I predicted the Tangled event and the Nightmare Before Christmas Halloween theme. This could be coincidence but imma start talking abt my ideas here on tumblr. (cuz i supposedly have free will)

I have a paper with notes and when i find it i will post that here too.

1 - upcoming hometown events - there have been a few of these with Vil, Epel, Leona, etc and we will definitely see more. some ideas include the twins + Azul cuz we have never seen their home and this could actually tie in pretty well to the little mermaid. At first I thought there was no way Ortho or Idia would get one but then I realized they dont have to go back to the Isle we would end up in the Kingdom of Heroes with the Greek theming but it's still pretty different from the isle. the shoruds mention it a bit and the isle itself is what the kingdom used to look like. They also have family there so that could be fun. I know people like to think of if a version of Hercules exists and is their cousin at RSA. They have a large extended family and we have seen none of them so it could be interesting. It would also be a good chance for the bros to be in an event together again....and make me cry....AGAIN! - last hometown idea im gonna mention is Trey. We suspected since him and Riddle live in the same town it would be easy to do an event for them but with how many new Riddle things are happening at once rn i think if they did the event this year it would just be him and he would get an SSR. Chenya would make a guest appearance or it could be a fun way to introduce a card for him if he crashed. thinking about it with just Trey makes sense if they wanted a lighter tone without the Riddle stuff and honestly it would be nice for Trey to have a fun event

(IMPORTANT NOTE: i noticed most hometown events so far with the exclusion of Vil take place around a character whos family either gets mentioned more often or is important to their story. this is another reason Trey is a very likely possibility)

2 - Halloween - I really can see them doing a Peter Pan thing with pirates, the only thing that holds this back is that the next round of Halloween cards includes Jack and Ruggie who have been pirates in the past.

3 - Movies that I have low hope for - Mulan, they've done east asian inspired outfits and stuff in the past and Mulan herself gets a mention in the first Halloween event but my rule is that if the story can't function/there's nothing fun to do without the romance or main villain then it wont get an event. The villain of Mulan is based on an actual warrior from history who killed a lot of people and it's probably too risky to turn him into an anime boy. One of the reasons I saw the possibility of a Tangled event was because of the festival like with the masquerade (kinda). A lot of older Disney princess movies also seem less likely. with Pomefiore and Snow White we've received two hometown events with no direct connection to the original movie. (aside from mentions and refrences) Its driven by a romance. So I think Sleeping Beauty is off the table.

4. - Cinderella is not - the outfits would be absolutely amazing! fancy ball and while obvious characters could be there like Vil, Rook, Riddle, Silver etc. I think characters like Ruggie, Cater would be so fun at a fancy event. Think maybe a merge between Glorious Masquerade and Fairy Gala maybe.

An actual timeline I have for JP servers and EN servers

for jp i suspected a new event for spring which will be Tangled a re-run before summer of an event and then either a new summer event or a re-run (possible re-runs are harder to predict but the Vil event would be likely) After summer and spring they don't do too many events, They might be doing culinary crucible re-runs but if someone on JP knew for sure that would be great. Halloween and then general boring things (again they don't usually cram too much in cuz of Halloween) For New Years i think they will do Azul, Leona, Epel and either Silver or Lilia. if not one of them then a Heartslaybyul student.

For EN we will likely get re runs for last years summer events (one or both idk) for later in spring we will maybe get the Vil event which will be new but we won't get many new events since we got a ton last year.

This was just part 1 i have so many ideas and didn't want to make this as long as last time. (i didn't even get to mention the racer idea here so go check out my next posts)

[twistedtummies2]

Fee, Fi, Fo, Fum!

Hee, Hi, Ho, Hum!

I'm a most amazing guy!

A most amazing guy, am I!

Fee, Fi, Fo, Fum!

Hee, Hi, Ho, Hum!

I'm the stuff, I'm tellin' you!

For here's what I can do!

I can change myself into an elf!

Fly up high, like the birdies!

I can disappear into atmosphere...PEEK-A-BOO!

'Cause I know the Magic Wordies...

"Fee, Fi, Fo, Fum," Billy Gilbert.

-------------------------------------------------------------

My next image in my “OCs & Inspirations” series for Disney’s 100th Anniversary! This time, I present to you Billy Géant and his inspiration, Willie the Giant from the “Mickey and the Beanstalk” segment of a personal favorite Disney film of mine, “Fun & Fancy Free!” The art here was done by @twisted-brainrot.

Billy came about because I wanted to do something with one of my favorite fairy-tales, “Jack and the Beanstalk,” which is a big part of what I think “activated” the more macro/micro side of my many, MANY kinks and fascinations. My thought process was I could do one of two things: one was create an AU for Twisted Wonderland with some characters as giants and others as “Jacks” (which I eventually did for “My Hero Academia,” and may do again for another couple of anime-ish franchises I love). Two was to create my own OC based on a Disney giant - and I went with Willie for a LOT of reasons - and do something with them. Obviously, that is the choice I went with, and I have not seen a reason to regret it: alongside Nakoda, perhaps even MORE than Nakoda, Billy is my most popular OC for Twisted Wonderland. I think there’s more art and writing for him than any of my other major characters for this universe.

He’s also the closest to his source material. Willie the Giant, in his initial appearance (and most other antagonistic roles he’s had since), is essentially a villain by incidence rather than choice. The film actually states this in black and white: “Willie was a nice giant…he just got too big for his britches.” He’s not really EVIL, he’s basically just a big, dumb kid. He’s selfish and has a bad temper: when he causes trouble, it’s not because he’s trying to actively hurt anybody, but simply because he either doesn’t know or doesn’t care about the consequences of his actions (or both). When you push him the wrong way, he then shows his dangerous side, as he can go from cuddly and silly to a terrifying titan of rage. Billy is the exact same way. As well as having a lot of Willie’s superficial elements as a character, the main takeaway between the two is that inherent childishness, and the dichotomy of danger and sweetness it provides. Billy is a lovable dunderhead who only becomes truly cruel and vicious when someone REALLY presses his buttons, and typically is only an antagonist because circumstance has sort of put him in that position. The big difference between the two is what they seek: Willie’s problem-causing is usually a result of greed or ignorance. Billy, however, is someone with a LOT of personal issues: he’s lived a large portion of his life being neglected, rejected, abandoned, and betrayed. He’s effectively a very lonely person who just wants some affection, some respect, and above all some companionship. Show him those things, and you’ll probably be fine.

As to the art…I asked Twisted-Brainrot to do this one because he’s actually made more art for Billy than anybody else, and because he’s also a big fan of Willie the Giant. I’m not sure, but I think this might have been his first (public) outing with the Disney original, and he did an absolutely MARVELOUS job. Seeing the big guy paired up with Billy is truly a treat, and speaking of Billy, I just love how cute he is. TB always draws him with this really cuddly “extra plush” appearance, and it’s truly beautiful to see him that way with his great-great granddaddy. Good big bois, both of ‘em. <3

[crazylittlejester]

So the myth is called The Wooing of Étáin (pronounced Ee-tane)

(Étáin being the character who Wars will take the place of in the au version)

(Also if you do look up the original myth I suggest ignoring the last part of the myth where/after Eochaid (Ee-oh-kade) has to pick which is the real Étáin. The result is treated as a horrifying thing in the original (as it should be) but subject is still disgusting even though it's somewhat standard fare for myths involving gods because in Irish mythology, some fairies are actually the ancient pagan deities that were worshipped pre-christianity)

But anyway, here's the child friendly version I grew up with:

A girl (Étáin) grows up dreaming of a blonde haired fairy prince (Midir). Eventually she forgets about these dreams and catches the eye of the handsome High King of Ireland (Eochaid) and they get married! Étáin at first is beyond happy, having everything she could ever dream of. However one night, a storyteller tells the royal court of the magical land of Tír na nÓg (T-ear nan ohw-guh (kinda pronounced like Ogre without the R sound), land of the fairies and immortality basically), the prince of that land, and his missing wife, the princess Étáin, who had disappeared without a trace.

Étáin the high king's wife, suddenly remembers her dreams of the same prince and realises she was the beautiful princess that went missing. She becomes distraught with homesickness for Tír na nÓg and starts hearing voices in the wind calling her name. Then one night, the wind and voices grow louder and she looks outside to see her dream fairy prince on a white horse and knows that he is here to take her back to Tír na nÓg.

Eochaid sees the prince too, and fearful of losing Étáin, he imprisons her in the palace dungeon, puts the palace into lockdown, and summons all his armies to guard it.

Étáin, unsurprisingly, is even more miserable in the dungeons, and prays for Midir to rescue her. The wind and voices grow ever louder until they suddenly stop and a bright light shines into the dungeon. Midir appears within the light and pulls her into a hug, in which they both turn into a pair of beautiful white swans. The roof of the dungeon opens up by magic, scaring Eochaid and all his soldiers, allowing the swans to fly free back to Tír na nÓg where they lived happily ever after.

For the au version, I was roughly thinking Tír na nÓg could be Wars' hyrule, with Midir being replaced by a familial relationship with the Chain instead of the romantic relationship in the myth. (And because of how prince/princess work as titles, it doesn't change with the relationship switch) I was leaning towards Time being Midir because as Mask he was in the war with Wars but also he's the one called Fairy boy. And so the dreams instead are about all the happy moments he spent with the chain. (Before Dink captured, tortured and wiped Wars' memory and then trapped him in something like the dark world version of Wars' hyrule).

The Eochaid the High King and his palace/armies could be Cia and her army instead. Because she would trap Warriors in a dungeon and she'd absolutely take advantage of him not remembering he's the hero if it means she can trick him into loving her. Which means Warriors gets a break down about remembering the war (and Cia's obsession with him) a second time :) this time it's even worse because he was tricked into marrying/being in a relationship with her!

And then of course Sky could be the one to rescue Wars, giving him Twi's shadow crystal to turn him into a swan, so that they can escape via flying together (with Sky on Crimson instead of also turning into a swan, although Sky turning into a Loftwing would be fun too!).

As this got a little long so I'll send the other myth as a separate ask!

— Shams of the Wild

THIS IS SO COOL AND I LOVE IT, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SHARING THIS WITH ME

i think i could use SOME parts of this for the swan wars au, but i honestly might also make a completely different thing so i can incorporate this because the story is really interesting!! :)

[wordsarefakeokay]

What does capitalism taste like

Does it taste like white picket fences and 2.5 kids

What about a dog in the backyard and BBQs on the weekend

Knowing all your neighbors names and having the HOA on speed dial

Does it taste like the life you want to live?

Are the HOA in your contacts because they keep calling you

Or are you calling them

Does that complicated C word taste the homogeneity in your neighborhood

Where the police arrive in 2 seconds flat, with a gate and a patrol to match

Does it taste like "I'll wait here for your manager" and weekends at the golf course

Does it taste like a martini because the trophy spouse has a long day?

Does it taste like security cams and a ranch on the property with the stable boys and the guest house to the side with the cabana ones?

Does it taste like equestrianship is in your blood from birth? What about fencing?

Does it taste like ivy league vines crawling up babies spines from birth?

Does it taste like "Harvard is your dream not mine" and then rebellion

Does rebellion look like a fully funded backpack trip to Europe with your first great love

Or does it look like "I'm going to work for my parents equally rich rival company"

Or does it look like different freedom, independence, simply a different life

Where you can still ask your parents for money because you reached a happy ever after in the movie

What does capitalism taste like

Happily ever after is fake for us real folks so it must hold true for those up top right?

People in gated communities who's stepford mother's figures are earned with the local book club

Who's menopause kicks in at the same pace because we're all just clucking hens bonding together aren't we

Aren't we all just girls looking to connect with other girls in line for the bathroom?

Let's be honest, we all have some kind of mommy issue don't we? #justgirlythings

And what about the men? Is it really just an opportunity to measure up?

Is it a subtle side eye to measure manhood, even tho bro code states "thou must not make eye contact with another bro I'm the bathroom"

Doe you feel like enough when you see a guy like your ex is now dating

Do you feel reassured when you notice your manhood is better?

Why does size matter?

Why am I automatically called "a little lady" by cowboys who are raised to believe "bigger in Texas" really means better

Is this what capitalism does

Does "be a man" follow men into the bathroom like "don't be a pussy" does for women?

Why must public communal bathrooms make us decide a gender right at that moment

Can't we measure a bathroom by the content of their room?

Stalls or urinals? Privacy or not? Right this way fellow citizen

Citizen. Human. Person. Life.

What does capitalism taste like

Does it taste like legislation against the gays?

No cakes no websites no space no homos

No healthcare no rights no sports pro bono

Hare dare anyone use pronouns! Fake news!

Them libs want you to think you can be referred to anything but your name. It's the devil's work

Didnt you hear that song? Call me by your name? He was a devil in the music I daresay! The devil!!

I'd let the devil fuck me

At least he would treat me right and show me a good time

What has capitalism done

This thing we fought for so that all our founders' legacies might have a future

Future away from tyranny and taxation and being slaves to our king

We have no kind any more, no crown jewels to protect, but we act the same

Why is the one who's always on top always the winner who writes the history

The winner who's educated

from a family with money

who were taught good Christian values

with a fencing rapier in hand and

Shakespeare in their veins

Is this what capitalism does

Dilutes us to the elite

Homogeneous suburbia and "all you need is fairy tales and you can be rich too"

Political correctness and "just find a man to solve your problems"

Register to vote and "be a man or you're not good enough"

It's not just little girls who get told their not good enough

The gender non conforming community has definitely unlocked a whole cheat code on life

That and the furries who have been the scientific backbone of this country for eons

But why do my apples taste not like what an apple tree looks like in the movies?

The one in the corner of Mamma Mia on the isle in Greece

Where my problems were solved by not getting married but traveling the world as a skinny white woman with her Kenough manly man

Singing voice for character wink

Why don't my apples taste like those on the Grecian island where the stories of the locals are forgotten to the American story, the American dream

I escaped my mom and became one myself

I'm a self made woman now

With a mortgage she can't pay and life problems that were clearly solved by marrying the man who hurt her the most in life

Why doesn't my apple taste like how that apple tree looks?

Why doesn't it taste like the apple from the garden?

Why doesn't it taste like the freedom eve must have felt when she disobeyed

Why is the taste of temptation diluted in my cheap apple from the superstore in the fruit section

Does it taste like pesticide and FDA regulations

Who keeps them in check? The CDC? WHO?

The DOJ or FBI or NAFTA or the Geneva convention

Was it a Geneva suggestion or a line from the treaty of Versailles or did agent orange bring us here

How many babies were born deformed before I ate this apple

And how many nat GMO products have I consumed that my human body has endured?

What does capitalism taste like? Because I swear, remaining tribal lands must not be like this

Forgotten poor African villages eat different

Forgotten poor native south America cultures remain intact on top of mountains that the white or Spanish or French have not yet learned to monetize

And now they will never because the people on the ground know better and are stronger

And capitalism stays the same

Progress is progress no matter how small

But all this progress

Is it good for us

Good for our taste buds

They say to beware vaccines and microchips but aren't we already a cyborg because we carry a favored microchip in our hands?

The ones we avoid calls from home on and instead laugh at cat videos

We share, bare our souls online to strangers but the people in our lives could never break our pokerface

But if we were born this way

Would we ever know what capitalism tastes like

If we don't ask someone else?

Does capitalism taste like the additive sugar in a fun size bar of crunch

Does it taste like the chocolate take over energy found in the Nestle headquarters

Or does it taste like the cocaine they put into coca cola to keep people buying more

I'm not convinced that the girl scouts didn't take that idea for themselves

Does capitalism taste like the working conditions of these massive corporate overlords

Or the factories where they bottle and bag and package comfort for 1.25

Does it taste the endless metallic conveyor belts

Or the chance that peanuts were used in any of those products

Does it taste like our countries trade deal for cheap products made from other companies

Does it taste like the the sweat shops that make your favorite new shirt or those fashionable high tops

Does it take like the abused labor that built this country

Does it taste like all the ghost statues of people who should have been memorialized instead of forgettable white men from history

Does it taste like the rust they should have earned all along

Or does it taste like the pain of forgotten artists

The heart of Harlem the beasts of Boston the cheeps of the Cherokee

Does it sound like the ones who's names we forget

The neglected breaks of the Oregon trail the gentrification of the only pockets of culture in this country

The Japanese internment camps

Border patrol and the place where there was almost a wall

Are the tears of all the family members of witches still a part of Salem

What about the hurt caused by the fights for gender equality that excluded black women

Does capitalism taste like Jim Crow or strange fruit

Just because it's rotting in the back doesn't mean it's in our past

These caged birds still sing can't you hear?

I fear for my brother and my niece and my nephew daily, their lives matter too

Friends neighbors family

They're still part of your labor or did you forget what The 13th taught us

Toni Morrison, Frederick Douglas

Miles Davis, Billie Holliday

MLK and Malcom X

HER and Missy Elliott

They run in our veins

The revolution is not televised

Stonewall certainly can't be told by anyone else

Nor can we forget the power of black trans women in the creation of pride spaces

What about the flyover cities that are meant for rural living with signs screaming "no airport here"

The pain of the indigenous people who's land a mindless mall was built over

Being given back land that belonged to those born here ages past

Ancestral home can be yours with a side of steak knives

And while I'm here can I interest you in the Book of Mormon

What about their tears? Their blood their breaks their pain

Does capitalism taste like that?

The endless lost even now and memorialized in art with a red handprint to their portrait

The lack of water and resources to land promised back

Ancestral home returned but you're on your own. Unless you're ready to hear about our Lord and savior

When will we realize we aren't a savior to begin with

Is this what capitalism tastes like?

Institutions built for white people who forgot that the land isn't theirs and never was

Home of the brave where those with the most force and money can get anywhere

We're the underdogs, the land of opportunity, come on by

You just have to follow these few simple rules

So if you're not perfect or cookie cutter, don't worry we'll just sand around the edges

So you'll fit into these boxes and society can know what to do with you

But if you're too much or not enough be ready to hate the rest of your days here

Welcome to the country of goldilocks and fuck you if you're not "just right"

What does capitalism taste like for you?

[noyoucannotpushthevoid]

Back on my Bullshit: Blue and Her Boys as Quotes from my Dnd Groups

"I roll acrobatics to climb aboard" - anyone trying to get into the backseat of the pig "Sorry [Henry], there's not enough [mice] to go around" - Ronan sharing baby mice with everyone but Henry "Going in for another whack-a-mole" - Lynch brothers fighting "[Ronan] is a beefcake, alright?" - Hennessey hyping up Ronan "He is longer than the hole is wide" - Jesse Diddley and his cave "[Kavinsky] has one goal and it is to plunder and loot" "There's only one word for that: adequate" - Adam doing staff reviews at work "You take his bedroll and do a happy little leprechaun dance back to your tent" - Ronan stealing stuff from Declan as a child "First the voices, then the bedroll not existing" - Adam being so so tired that he starts to lose stuff "It's fucking library time" - Adam and Gansey "You would have the basketball hoop hamper" - Ronan to Noah who would have a basketball hoop hamper "Romantic hold, you mean uppies" - Ronan making fun of the height difference between Gansey and Blue "Would win: Squirrel or large haldron collider" - Ronan  "[Noah] can still experience terminal velocity" - Gansey trying to convince Ronan not to throw Noah out the window again "Welcome to costco for drugs" - Kavinsky "'You can't lick me' (Noah) 'Is that a challenge?' (Ronan)" "Hey boys, how do you feel about summoning satan tonight?" - Neeve "Bug satan bug satan bug satan" - if you know you know, you know? "As yes, these heathens who read" - Ronan bored watching everyone else do their homework "I mean pricking my finger is pretty simple" - Adam “He’s now nice and damp and gross smelling” - Ronan after tennis/Gansey after rowing “[Gansey]! Is! Caked! Up!” - Henry “No! [Adam], give me your body” - Cabeswater “Your brain is so smooth, I could shine it” - Adam at other students “[Gansey], be our dad” “My pronouns are gay/them” - Ronan any time someone assumes he’s straight “He might just be a little guy, but he can’t sit with us” - Ronan about Henry “You get one rizz between the three of you” - That first night at Ninos when Adam asked Blue out "yea, baby's first flail! let's go!" - Ronan when Chainsaw picks up a knife for the first time “There’s no longer strange creatures in his shirt” - Chainsaw being old enough that Ronan doesn’t have to secretly bring her to school anymore “I wasn’t paying attention because I was too excited about Excel Spreadsheets” - Gansey “The spirit bong” - Noah “I guess you could smoke ectoplasm if you REALLY want to” - The rest of the gang trying to figure out how Noah would smoke as a ghost "all of the hazing is horse themed" - Hazing at Aglionby in bumfuck Virginia "Some people have never been severely mentally ill, and it shows" - Ronan “Magic exists and Big [Declan] doesn’t want you to know about it” - Declan not telling Ronan about the Fairy Market “Don’t be rude-phobic” - Henry when someone’s mean to Ronan "Do better next time white man" - This could be either Blue or Henry, but the white man in question is Gansey regardless

[mothmags]

More Neil Heartfillia because I'm thinking about him and his main ref mainly talks about his magic type.

He would 100% have a tik tok account where they have a slideshow and just say wrong information on black and white photos and put a creepy audio

He also has a fake "certified" Twitter account where he pretends to be a flat earther journalist

Half of his following can see it's very obviously fake and is amused and the other half 100% believes him

He is THE band kid of fairy tail

I said this before, but he's mainly a loner that has a solid 1 close friend

Nashi is a little shit to people on a personal level. Neil is just chronically online teenage boy with too much time on his hands

Lumi convinces him to post some of his music on spotify and he has absolutely no branding

His name is something stupid like "gaylord9000" and has somehow over a million streams

His only advertising is that lumi will use him as background music sometimes, and literally, that's it

Each album so far is a different genre and they vary WILDLY

He would also make like the most profound music that frequently brings people to tears over how personal and heartwrenching it is, and he would name it "Sierra mist was better than Starry and you can fight me about it", "Anime tits on a tuesday" or "stream this I want to buy a new bass"

No one knows it's him tho exept for a select few (Nashi, Lumi, and his friend that I didnt give a name to yet)

Most of his income is from this account and his occasional jobs

He lives with his parents still so he doesn't pay rent or bills or anything. All of his money goes to another instrument he doesn't need but wants very bad or to his savings

He might be a little shit but he cares a lot about the people around him

When someone is upset he notices and beckons them over to his little music corner of the guildhall

He doesn't ask them about said problem, nono he doesn't like being in people's business but he will play them music that he knows they like and make an illusion that he knows will calm them down

Sometimes they tell him what's wrong but he barely gives them advice

Hes just there to listen and make sure they are ok and they appreciate that

His love language is gift giving and will occasionally gives the people he likes a little trinket

He will just take their hand, put the gift in it and walk away

That's how you know he likes you

He gave gajeel a metal gutar pick he found on the ground when he was like 4 and he put it on a chain and still wears it under his shirt to this day