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jessilynallendilla · 21 days ago

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FAE/CREATURE/NON HUMAN JASKIER

I Am The Wild T

Years ago, Geralt meets a little boy befriending a monster. Years later, Geralt meets a bard. There's something familiar in the way he tries to keep Geralt from killing monsters. "Real monsters are human", he'd always say.

The Shapes Of Us T 33,142 SERIES

Jaskier was a shapeshifter. It was as simple as that. Except for nothing was ever simple with him. Especially not since that white haired man had rescued him. Protected him. Healed him. Saved him. What other option did he have but to try and return the favor?

We Can Do Good, Together M 8,391

Geralt had heard rumors of it before he'd been approached by Yennefer and asked, "How much?“

He stared at her, unimpressed, "How much to do what?"

"Don't play coy," she replied, "You know just as well as I do that there's been something wrecking havoc across the Continent."

Hidden By The Forest M 15,496 SERIES

“Geralt, please, I... can... let me explain, please...” Jaskier’s voice wavers and he takes another step back. Geralt strengthens his grip on the blood-soaked sword still in his hand and glares at Jaskier. At who he thought was Jaskier but is clearly something else.

Salt And Ash, Iron And Bone EX 47402

After Geralt’s death, Jaskier returns to the fae realm, unable to live in the human world without the witcher he loved. When he’s attacked and nearly killed eight centuries later, Jaskier flees back to the human world, where he finds himself face-to-face with Geralt. This Geralt is a redheaded, freckled human with no memory of his life as a witcher or of Jaskier. But as Jaskier gets to know his oldest friend all over again— and starts to fall in love with him all over again— a mysterious enemy threatens both their lives.

The Red Prince EX 72,058 SERIES

Jaskier has lived many lives over the span of humanity's existence, and yet he's still fascinated by them. But when he catches word of Witchers, he has to know more. He follows them, befriends them whenever possible, and saves their lives. They know him as The Red Prince. Bloody-handed and handsome. Some kind of patron saint of Witchers. A legend. A fairy story. The same story Vesemir once told a young Geralt the night before his Trials. And many years later, Jaskier meets a gruff, white haired Witcher known as the Butcher. But the man is no murderer. He's interested. Smitten, even. So he follows the White Wolf on adventure, expecting that at some point he'll have to revive the legend of The Red Prince. Because Witchers get wounded. They die. He won't let that happen to Geralt. Not so long as he can retie the strings of Fate.

Try, Please Try For Me EX 131,979 SERIES

Jaskier was part fae. A quarter to be precise. There was an old superstition among humans that names held power, but for fae it was so much more than that. Names meant control. If you knew a fae’s name, their true name, they would be completely at your will. If someone knew your true name you were nothing more than their servant. A slave. All it took was a single command. When war breaks out between neighboring kingdoms, Jaskier's father uses his true name and commands him to marry a witcher as part of a peace treaty. Neither Jaskier or Geralt are particularly happy with the arrangement. But as Jaskier gets to know him better he realizes that the witcher might just be able to give him the thing he's always craved. Freedom.

Fair Folk, Or: The Difference Between Honey And Destiny Is That One Of Them Is Sweet T 35,322 SERIES

wherein everything is the same, except when it isn’t.

So Can We Pretend, Sweetly T 2,131

Jaskier is a regular human bard, and Geralt could swear that yesterday he’d had regular human teeth. They’re just a little bit too long for his mouth, now- too white, too sharp. A predator’s. Jaskier clicks them together, experimentally, and winces when he bites his tongue. “Fuck anyone you weren’t supposed to?”

“I don’t fuck anyone I’m supposed to,” Jaskier says, a little proudly.

Drawing Our Destinies In Closer T 649 SERIES

Jaskier encounters a dangerous killer.

Wróżka G 2,600

jaskier has a secret, and geralt is trying to find the clues to figure out what it is.

When We Bloom (And We Will) T 12,132 SERIES

a fic in which geralt acquires a baby, jaskier saves the life of said baby, and ciri insists that she has a new sister until it becomes true.

In Your Arms, I Am A Wild Creature T

A different version of Geralt and Jaskier meet; Geralt is still a witcher— it’s Jaskier who’s different.

Fae Jaskier G 964

This was a request, but it's one of my favorite things I've written so I posted it separate of my ask collection.

Pray All Ye Meet Are The Gentle Fae EX 11,631 SERIES

“It was remarkably foolish of you, witcher,” Jaskier drawled, his glamour gone and the picture of his inhumanity complete. “Stumbling into my clearing like this.” Or: Geralt and Jaskier take a night off to have some fun. Less fun? They're overheard. If only their dirty talk didn't sound so...incriminating.

A Deal Which Cannot Be Refused T

Jaskier got into trouble a lot, that was normal. But not until he was too late to help Jaskier did Geralt ever realise that Jaskier was perfectly capable of solving his own issues. He has the ability to turn a whole argument on its head, unfailingly coming out the victor with a smile on his face, and the slightly burnt scent of pure magic in the air. Every time Geralt asked how exactly he got himself out of some new impossible situation Jaskier had just smiled and offered a well crafted but purposefully vague answer. Usually relating to a deal of some form, or a favour that Geralt didn’t really know if he wanted to know any more details of. Or - Jaskier isn’t quite human, Geralt can tell that much. What he can’t figure out is exactly what Jaskier is.

Featuring misunderstandings, very confused and slightly oblivious Geralt, morally grey and at times ominously terrifying Jaskier and some healthy doses of angst.

The Weight Of Life M 25,855

A few years after the unfortunate adventure with the dragon hunt, Geralt accidentally runs into Jaskier in the exactly same tavern, where the said adventure began. Maybe it wouldn't be that surprising (we are talking about the travelling bard after all), if Jaskier didn't look and behave so strange. How else can you describe approaching the witcher without making any indication to what has happened on the top of a certain mountain and simply paying him for killing a monster?

Long Live The King EX 47,450 SERIES

Geralt placed the crown on his head before kneeling at his side, and the weight of it felt heavy on Jaskier’s brow. Jaskier’s path to becoming king, takes place five years after the fall of Cintra.

He Fell Into A Faerie Ring EX SERIES

Traders are a gossiping sort. If there was a scandal within the noble houses of Posada, you’d hear about it in Cretegor by the end of the week. So, the quick spread of a rumor about a little village in the Kestrel Mountain range was not at all surprising. What was surprising was the story that the traders wove. They said that Luibhtorrach, a sad, ghost of a farming town, had miraculously become a hub for trade, as if overnight. Their lands unbelievably fertile and brimming with crop. Even stranger, each and every one of Luibhtorrach’s people professed that their good fortune was the work of a mysterious beast they’d claimed as their personal deity. Most recent news foretold of their plans to throw a midsummer festival celebrating this newfound god. In preparation, silken blue banners were erected in every corner of the town, each bearing the symbol of their new patron: A delicate dandelion wrapping around a golden sun.- Or -Jaskier accidentally becomes the god of a village he stumbled upon after Geralt’s post-dragon hunt meltdown. Maybe it had something to do with his new look.

Honey, Where Do You Think I Came From? M

It was little things at first. A glare on his face, narrowed eyes and frowning lips, or a comment a touch more cutting than it needed to be. All explained away with simple enough rational: a bad day, lack of sleep. No reason to suspect what truly lay beneath. Looking back, the signs were there. But he didn’t look for what they meant. What the whispered sweet nothings shared in a corner but never taken to a bedroom meant. What the cutting glances and sharp words at an annoying lord meant. What the lack of a dagger tucked away in a boot meant In the beginning, well, he was a simple bard really. Talented, yes, but simple. And that was all.

A Crown Of Crows M

There's something about Jaskier that Geralt can't place. It isn't the bard’s boldness in waltzing up to him, or how he seems strangely unswayed by the witcher's cold front, or even the way he glues himself to Geralt’s side. Jaskier makes Geralt's medallion quiver and tug at its chain any time they touch. Could be that lute of his is enchanted. But Geralt has a funny feeling Jaskier’s hiding something behind that warmhearted smile he finds himself so spellbound by.

Rues And Bees G

Geralt is sick and tired of standing in front of his oak cottage door and peeking through the peep hole as Yennefer stands on the other side, beckoning Geralt to, "Open the door and let me in. It's cold out here," and replying, "You're not Yennefer, she's in the other room, sleeping. I can hear her snoring." So naturally, he does the next big thing: he falls in love with the doppler.

Through A Field Of Poppies T 1,060

Jaskier dies in autumn. Geralt lays him to rest at the edge of a birch grove overlooking a flood plain on the northern banks of the Pontar. He remembers the place, now gilded in the afternoon sun by wayward wheat having made its way to the rich river soil, where his bard had once pressed a ring into his palm (“How about this,” he’d said. “You keep this near and I’ll know you still want me at your side.” And Geralt had closed his fingers around it thinking he’d take ten thousand golden trinkets just to be gifted with that smile) and he knows that come spring it’ll be a meadow thick with wildflowers. The next time he sees Jaskier, he reaches for silver.

I Want To Know You T 2,980

Four questions that they ask each other over the years they spend together. Jaskier herded him to a table when their drinks were on their hands, talking more nonsense and pulling out of the Witcher the information of the monster he was after. The human seemed to take a weird interest in what Geralt did for a living considering his species who preferred to have the whole continent between them and one of Geralt's kind.

Sunk But Sinking NR

He wakes up with a tightness in his chest, the reason for it revealed as soon as he opens his eyes. It’s not light yet, not exactly, but the fire is long gone and the cold had enough time to settle in his bones. He’s aching more than most mornings, but maybe it’s just the weather’s fault. Jaskier grunts and pushes Geralt’s hand off his chest, the unreasonable panic not quite evaporating from him at the same speed as the details of his nightmare.

He Sleeps In His Bed (While He Plays Pretend) M 34,049

When Yennefer leaves him, Geralt comes back to Jaskier, heart in his hand, anger, hurt, and heartbreak bleeding from it. Geralt grieves his love life with his eyes closed, his body bare and fucking into his bard, Yennefer's name on his lips. On the other hand, as months pass, Geralt's begins to fall in love with Jaskier himself, leaving a huge misunderstanding his wake.

Ensnared EX 32,014

Geralt is hired to hunt a creature that has been terrorising the local hunters and traders of Belhaven. He heads into Caed Myrkvid and finds more than he bargained for

This Isn't The Beginning Of A Joke, This Is The Beginning Of A Love Song... EX

Jaskier sings Renfri and Yennefer to life and doesn't think enough about the effect it could have on two powerful women. And the effect it could have on him. After all; he's the first music note ever heard, not a fertility god.And everybody knows Witchers are made, not born.

No No, Not I T

Geralt meats Fae!Jaskier due to a slight misunderstanding (or maybe its destiny messing with them?) and when Jaskier hurts his wing they are kind of stuck together for a while. It’s a journey that not only brings them in more and more danger and to unknown magical places but it also brings them closer together, if they want to admit it or not. The Fae is annoying Geralt to no end but he can’t just let him die, can he? Jaskier saw the jagged edge of the stone a fraction of a second too late and he couldn't stop himself from stepping on it with his bare feet. He hissed in pain, baring his fangs. “Wait, damn it,” a deep voice behind him demanded but he would not obey. He wouldn't dream of obeying the command of a monster that wanted to kill him.

Namesake Retrograde EX

'Fifty years of meticulously crafted lies become dust in the wind before Jaskier can realize what's happening. Distantly, he thinks he hears the tonal crack of shattering crystal, before his mouth rushes with hot saliva and bottom drops out from his stomach.' Jaskier's glamour is obliterated. It goes worse than expected.

Welcome, Oh Summer Love G 2,390 SERIES

After leaving Geralt and making a home in a fairy circle somewhere deep in a forgotten wood, Jaskier learns to move on. He makes a home in that stone ring, detached from the world and his worries. That is, until Geralt stumbles into his ring looking haggard and weary, trailing a lost princess behind him. Should Jaskier stay silent in his tree, let them pass by him as he rests? Will he finally face the love he'd run away from?

With Romantic Intent M 8,934 SERIES

Jaskier decides that it's finally time to start courting Geralt. He just needs to make it obvious enough that the silly man will take the hint — and, in the process, figure out that he was never quite as human as Geralt thought.

Of Music And Motion And Love T 12,412 SERIES

When Jaskier was four, he slipped his mother’s watch and went to the field to gather a bouquet of dandelions. He climbed back into the yard, as stealthy as a child really cared to be, and crept over to the barn. In the barn, lived a secret. (The man he thought his father said the secret was a monster, a plague. His mother said the secret was his sister.) OR Jaskier comes from a far humbler background, and would really like to know why Yennefer never came back for her youngest brother.

I Come Round Back To You M 15,567

He is fifty and there is a man in the corner of a tavern in Posada who hasn’t moved save for the rise and fall of his tankard to his sculpted lips. Julian knows what he is before he knows to know. He should have started chasing monsters sooner.

Where We Belong T

Geralt had many uses for the parasite living inside him. Jaskier could heal bones and regenerate a limbs like it was nothing, could eat the heads of monsters faster than a Witcher could draw his sword; even help Geralt breathe underwater if they so wished. Jaskier was a blessing in disguise if one forgone the constant hunger that came with hosting them. It was not, however, nearly enough to have to sit through the twice-damned singing and chatter inside his fucking skull.

There's Magic In A Bard's Song (O Lei O Lai O Lei O Lord) T

There’s something different about the way the bard sings. There is something underlying his voice, his music. It bothers Geralt.

As Daylight Dies T

The Witcher keeps to himself, gaze downcast, gloved hand extended to his tankard to keep within his lips' reach.

"Are the stories true?"

"Depends." The voice that comes from under the hood is deep, a wolf's growl and grunt. The White Wolf, an apt name for the man. A different, darker meeting between Geralt of Rivia and Jaskier. It's going to get darker.

Once Written In The Stars EX

When Geralt accidentally trespasses on a fae forest, only the unexpected kindness of one of the forest's inhabitants saves him. Unfortunately, it also leaves him saddled with a travel companion who has never really met a human, let alone thought about how to play at being one. It goes about as well as you'd think.

Will You Be Coming Home? M 52,104

At fifteen, Julian hires a bodyguard and runs away. At twenty, he's quite happy. At twenty-five, he's fucked.

(Don't Ask Me) To Follow Where You Lead M

Bitter irony that Jaskier had fallen for him despite knowing that his freedom was linked to Geralt wanting him gone deep down more than he wanted him to stay – if Jaskier ever got what his heart yearned for, he'd lose even more than Geralt's affections in the same breath. In that sense, Geralt's words on top of that mountain were a blessing, for all that Jaskier did not at all agree with being blamed for things that were in no way his fault. For someone who had held someone else's fate in his hands for almost all of the years he had walked this earth, Geralt was surprisingly scared of destiny and way too concerned with running from it in vain. Jaskier could and actually had sung several songs about how escaping destiny was impossible – her cruel claws would sink into you one way or another, running from it was nothing but a waste of breath.

Honey, Bread and Summer Flowers G 910

Geralt and Jaskier meet at a crossroads. Neither is what he seems.

Can’t You See I’m Unholy? T 1,006 SERIES

Jaskier was dead. Oddly enough, that’s the part he could handle. The part he couldn’t handle, the part that he’s never been able to handle, is the aftermath. The rebirth. -In which Jaskier is a demon that can’t ever fully die and Geralt is witness to his resurrection.

Upon The Waking Of The Spring T 2,074 SERIES

When Spring comes along, and brings with it new life, Jaskier finds the man with white hair asleep on a bed of violets. And, though they’re not meant to meddle with the Fates of humans, Jaskier just can not resist.

Like Real People Do T 3,989 SERIES

“Are you hiring me, girl?”

After a beat of silence, the two staring at each other, she stands tall and scoops the coin into her apron pocket and shakes her head. “No, Witcher, I don’t believe I am. Just thought you should know is all.”

He sighs out a breath through his nose, looking away. He grips the mug still in his hand a bit stronger and brings it to his lips.

“It’s the wood near your professor is why I thought you should know.”

Not Quite Right M

The meat suit ages around him. He can feel it grow every passing year, stretching and contorting over a too-big entity. The original soul died far before it was born into this world. It allowed him to step in and takes its place. His brethren are like vines that choke out trees, retaining their shape even as the mighty oaks or pines wither and die beneath them. He is like a weed with a lovely flower atop it. Mistaken for something meant for a bouquet, but even when identified, still plucked for flower crowns or innocent gifts. He calls himself Jaskier.

The God Of Scraped Knees. M 8,342

Jaskier’s been pretending to be human for so long now that he hardly remembers what it feels like to be a sorcerer. He doesn’t want to remember what it feels like to be a sorcerer. But people still murmur his name with reverence in certain dim halls; Dandelion, Dandelion, destroyer of worlds.

Blue And Yellow, Blue And Gold T 4,292

There is a blue-eyed boy living in Geralt's shadow.

Fallen For A Lie T 6,995

It was a long time before Geralt suspected anything. Geralt had been trained to notice such things at Kaer Morhen, and had gone years, decades even, without missing something as large as this. He could hear Vesemir shouting now at Geralt’s blindness, unexplainable aside from the locked away knowledge that this had escaped his attentions because he liked the way Jaskier chattered at him, the coin he brought in from his little tunes, liked him. Any bizarre incident that arose was brushed aside in favor of Jaskier’s easy company. And there had been many incidents.

What's Mine Is Yours T 7,506 SERIES

Jaskier had always had a set of lungs to rival the North wind. By the time he was old enough to put words to his wailing, his poor mother’s head was grey and her heart torn by the babe who had never once stopped crying. There wasn’t a healer or witch she took him to who didn’t say the same thing: there was nothing to fix. They could treat a bruise, bandage the reflections of another’s injuries that sometimes echoed onto his skin, but there was no curing pain that wasn’t his.

Edge Of Nowhere T 1,361 SERIES

Jaskier needed no introduction to Geralt of Rivia, not when he knows who this Witcher is on sight. On the other hand, this is his opportunity to make a new and different name for himself, a guise within a disguise, and perhaps fame that'll hide the secrets that he keeps.

Wolf & Songbird T

“Do I not warm you when it’s cold?” asks Geralt. “Feed you when you’re hungry, carry you when you’ve had too much too drink?”

“Well,” says Jaskier. He gulps. “But you never said anything.”

They may be destined to meet in every universe, but they always stay together by choice.

And The Seasons, They Go Round And Round T 2,938

Taking hold of his emotions enough so he won’t begin shouting, Geralt stands before Jaskier, arms crossed protectively around his beating heart. “What are you?” he growls.

With a heavy sigh, Jaskier leans on his elbows and peers up at Geralt. “Do you know the story of the seasons Geralt?” Jaskier inquires.

In which Jaskier isn't all he appears and his rivalry with Valdo Marx is a bit more complicated than Geralt realized.

Dear Fellow Traveler EX 39,567

Geralt had a rule: he refused to accept anything but coin for his work, no matter what was being offered to him. So when a man offered him a creature by the name of Jaskier, he elected to say no. After several incidents left the two no choice but to become traveling companions when they are forced to go on the run, things begin to change between the pair as they struggle to find a way for Jaskier to return to his home.

The Man From Oxenfurt M

Jaskier is an assassin from the school of Oxenfurt, assigned a target with no name, picture, or any information besides the target's species (witcher) and the fact that he trained under Vesemir. His luck changes when he meets another witcher from the same school in a tavern in Posada, and he vows that he'll build a life with Geralt with the money from this last assignment. If only it could be that easy.

Granted EX 12,314 SERIES

Jaskier feels it the moment the words leave Geralt’s lips. A rush of energy flooding from his core to the tips of his fingers and toes. ‘Oh no,’ he thinks. The magic spills from him like wine from a glass and before he can grab it, it’s done. He’s bound. Geralt’s wish has been granted.

Lord Of The Forest NR 7,521 SERIES

Jaskier is not human, he is Lord of the Forest, and post season 1 episode 6, he returns to his natural form to wreak vengeance on Geralt.

Pathway To Your Lips EX 5,5145

Geralt meets with Lord Pankratz about a monster in the forest of his duchy. In the process, he meets Jaskier, the Lord's son who is always dressed in a most extravagant manner. Amidst chaos at the dinner time and troubling thoughts, Geralt gears up to fight the monster he has been hired to kill.

Into The Woods G 1,318

Geralt gets lost in the woods. But there's someone -- or something -- else following him.

Like Real People Do G 55,687

A twilight that refuses to wane, the lingering scent of clean, bitter dandelion milk, and a strange man buried deep in the soil of a peaceful bog. Or, Geralt finds a traveling companion in the strangest of places.

Muse Of White And Gold G 1,573 SERIES

It’s been a week and the person is still following him. What’s more, they haven’t attacked yet. Geralt isn’t quite sure what to do with this. OR Jaskier sees Geralt slay a beast and is instantly drawn to the stunning man of white and gold.

Play Out A Spell In Your Sequence Of Chords (To Inspire And Sharpen Our Rusted Swords) T 10,813

Geralt cocked his head to the side curiously to regard the chittering fox caught in the hunter's trap. The beast had deep chestnut fur and eerily bright blue eyes. He knelt, and the creature hissed at him, baring his teeth in fear.

"I mean you no harm," he rumbled, hands palm-up. His swords were at his campsite, regardless. He reached forward slowly, and the fox didn't move, though it's teeth remained bared. It was a simple matter to pry open the trap, and the fox leapt away, chattering its teeth at him. Their eyes met for a long moment, amber to fantastical blue, and the fox dashed off.

Sighing faintly, hands resting on his knees, Geralt bowed his head tiredly. He rolled his neck to crack it, and rose to his feet to shuffle his way back to his camp.

Set out neatly next to his bedroll were three cleanly gutted rabbits, and Geralt paused in surprise. Roach whinnied softly, and stamped a hoof. A crown of golden wheat rested primly between her ears.

Ah. Fae, then. Services paid for services rendered. Hopefully the fae would consider them even, now, but something in him doubted it.

Left Alone T 7,026

There's almost something between them, Jaskier can see it. An almost relationship. Almost love. That's why the sight of Geralt and Yennefer shatters his heart, leaving him broken and alone and in pain. And well, all there's left to do is go home.

While Jaskier reunites with his siblings and remembers what's it like to hold his blades, Geralt looks for a way to break what the djin made. And well, Destiny wants them together so, in the end, they always come back to each other.

Farewell Wanderlust T 1,124

After being left on the mountain, fae!jaskier goes dark. Geralt is contracted to take out the dark fae tormenting the village, unbeknownst to him that it is his old friend.

Of Home And Gentle Hands G 1,582 SERIES

It’s been almost a year since Jaskier started travelling with Geralt, and he still can’t believe his luck. Geralt is having trouble understanding the way he’s feeling. Meanwhile, Yennefer shows up with a job offer. Travelling with Geralt, Jaskier decides, is far better when he’s allowed to walk next to him rather than stuck to following him from a distance. From this close, he’s able to see different things, things he never noticed from afar.

Normal Human? Never Heard Of Him. EX 6,955

Three times Jaskier acts suspicious and one time Geralt gets his mind blown.

What Is A Monster? G 996 SERIES

“You’re not a monster.”

Geralt sighs, and puts his sword away. Kissing Jaskier’s head, he wants to say a million things, I’m not a monster to you, you make me feel normal, I love that’s how you see me but reality is different, I love you, but he understands that what would make Jaskier feel better is none of that. What he wants, needs, is far simpler, “I know.”

Welcome To The Storm, I Am Thunder EX 4,239

They've barely left the tavern in Posada before Geralt has made up his mind about Jaskier. He's annoying and persistent, has zero sense of self-preservation, talks too much and is, first and foremost, painfully, vulnerably human. The next few weeks prove almost all of those things to be true—all but one.

Look What You've Done To Me M

Jaskier can't ignore who he really is, and Geralt's not sure he can either.

A Rose, But Only One T SERIES

A retelling of the ballad Tam Lin wherein Jaskier is Tam Lin.

Witness Me, Old Man, I Am The Wild T 1,787 SERIES

Jaskier always asks to stop whenever they reach meadows, to cut as many flowers as he can manage. He usually aims for white heather and feverfew, and Geralt usually ends up with some threaded through his hair. He assumes at first it’s just Jaskier’s restless fingers and part of his campaign to change Geralt’s image. It takes him nearly three years, and a fight with a higher vampire, to realise there's more to it than that.

Surprises Surprises T 2,832 SERIES

Yennefer isn't sure what's so special about the human bard that the Witcher cares so much, but she intends to find out. They meet again and again and again, and each time she sees more and more. Turns out there are more than a few surprises there

Changeling Jaskier T 1,022 SERIES

Jaskier was far more observant and aware than most people gave him credit for, after all he had grown up among the fae and had gotten himself his freedom. He also knew Geralt better than the witcher thought he did, and he was not above using that knowledge when the man was doing something stupid.

I’m Lost, I’m Found In You T 1,190 SERIES

Meeting Geralt of Rivia had initially been quite the shock. The man offered up his name so easily, thinking nothing of it, and everything in Jaskier’s body screamed mine mine mine. It wasn’t as if he didn’t get first names on a daily basis. But that was from humans, gullible creatures that had forgotten the tales of the fae, the warnings, choosing to live in blissful ignorance. But Geralt was a Witcher. Surely he could smell what Jaskier truly was, if not see through his glamour entirely. And yet…Jaskier felt his instincts awaken and tingle with joy - his mind was begging him to take, use, own this beautiful man with his name. But Jaskier gave up that life long ago.

I Am Flesh And I Am Bone T 2,601

Geralt is pretty sure Jaskier isn’t quite human. He has a list of evidence, really, he does. And it starts with a petty challenge issued by Jaskier one night at a tavern. The list grows from there.

His Love, Soft And Sweet G 754 SERIES

"I'm going to die," he says, voicing the thought aloud. "This is the end of me, dear heart. My final moments, the finale, the fine. Remember me fondly as you continue your journey down the Path—"

"You're not going to die, Jaskier," Geralt interrupts him with exasperation. "It's a fever, that's all."

A Wilted Warning T 1,071 SERIES

After the initial discussion, Geralt decides it’s best if he explores the woods surrounding the village. There’s only one issue…

“I told you to stay in the room.”

“And I told you I’m coming with you. How else am I going to write my songs?”

OR Jaskier and Geralt search the woods for the culprit. Geralt gets to learn more about Jaskier, even if the bard is acting a bit strange... Well stranger than usual.

Day By Day G 1,261 SERIES

Jaskier has been alive for a long time, has met his fair share of witchers and sorceresses and even Princesses. Some were dumb, some were smart, and some were somewhere in the middle. However, none were so completely dense that they didn't realize he wasn't human by the end of a five-year friendship. He's known Geralt for twenty years. Geralt still hasn't caught on. Now, Jaskier isn't saying Geralt is dumb because the man is obviously very intelligent, but Geralt is…. Well, he's dumb. Jaskier loves him, would sacrifice immortality for him, but his witcher is very stupid.

The Curse Of The Fae-Child T

“I… there’s an estate, half an hour up north,” Jaskier started, avoiding Geralt’s questioning gaze. “It’s not on the map, but there’s a chance they won’t kill us if we ask for shelter. Don’t ask me to elaborate, if I am wrong we’ll simply find somewhere else and forget about it forever.” Forced to go back to his childhood home, Jaskier is soon tasked with some fae nonsense, because fairies do not exist... right?

A Midwinter's Daydream G 1,396

“Either I mistake your shape entirely, or else you are that shrewd and knavish sprite called Julian Goodfellow?” Her laugh tinkles on the breeze, shrill to his ears. “Are you not sheep-stealer, milk ruiner, or wife stealer? Come sprite, I recognise thine face.” Her pale hand stretches out to pluck a delicate yellow flower from his hair, “or should I call you Jaskier, or sweet puck, and then will you bring me luck?”

He matches her pitched giggles with a sharp strum of his lute, bowing low in mockery. “Thou speak’st aright! I am that merry wanderer of the night."

Check Mate, Valdo Marx T 1,227

The sanctuary of Kaer Morhen was broken so much sooner than Geralt had hoped. He had a sorceress and three other witchers on his side to fight the whole army of Nilfgaard. All while a bard hid out in the pantry with his child surprise and a dagger in hand with instructions to use it when their last defence had fallen. Except, Jaskier was going to have none of that. He had won this round fair, Valdo was just a sore loser.

The Voice Beloved By The Trees NR

“Why do you not like the forest, mama?” Julian had asked her once, age nine, knees pressed in the mud beside her. His mother sat demurely upon a rich blanket of gold and sky blue—the colors of their house. He remembered, briefly, how her fingers stilled at his question, though careful not to bruise the bud of the flower she was attending.

“It’s not safe,” His mother had said simply, her blue eyes much too bright. She plucked the scissors up off her white saffron gown and quickly snipped a mature bloom, placing it tenderly in her wicker basket. A basket that was always full of flowers: roses, forget-me-nots, orchids, and the handfuls of dandelions that Julian snuck in—his mother's favorite name for him. For the wild boy with mud on his shins and rumpled riches. Her little Jaskier.

On The Wings Of Love EX 5,420 SERIES

After spending the winter in Kaer Morhen, Geralt and Jaskier get on with their travels again, and Geralt gets to see Jaskier in all of his Fae glory - the good, the bad and the weird. Somewhere along the way they get married, acquire a child and meet a djin. Somehow, they're all good things.

Wolf's Temper M

Geralt never expected himself to be stuck traveling with a werewolf, but when one night of drinking with Jaskier turns into a secret being revealed Geralt realizes what this means for him as a person and as a Witcher. He needs to protect Jaskier at all costs.

You Don't Have To Hide From Me T 1,737 SERIES

Geralt had always known, something was different with Jaskier but he hadn't been able to say what it was until the day they slept together for the firs time

Curiosity And The Cat T 2,834

Jaskier had always been different from everyone else. Odd, loyal, and a touch too curious for his own good. Or Geralt isn't sure what kind of being Jaskier is but one night while hunting a werewolf, his bard's persistence leads to a great deal of trouble.

Through The Desert M 3,397 SERIES

Jaskier is hungry for the world - even before he flirts with the wrong woman and gets turned into a vampire. Jaskier is not a bard anymore, he is a creature. (And witchers kill creatures, don't they?)

Could Be, Will Be, Maybe? T 6,445

“Do you want to hold her?” The princess doesn’t really wait for Jaskier’s answer; simply deposits the little babe into his arms, and Jaskier scrambles to hold her right, sneaking a hand to delicately cradle the head. She’s so small, he thinks to himself a little hysterically, and then, in quick succession, Geralt is going to love her. Or: the story of how Jaskier visits Cintra over the years, and carves lasting bonds with Pavetta, with Ciri - and finds himself as bound to Geralt as if Destiny herself had twined their fates together.

A Buttercup Plucked From The Side Of The Road NR

Alfred Pankratz is barely two years into his professorship when he finds a boy passed out by the side of the road leading to Oxenfurt. A small, adorable child with a buttercup tucked into his hair. Alfred Pankratz is 27 years old and can be described as many things, whimsical, flighty, headstrong but not as father material. He's not fit to be a father, he's not. He'll take Jaskier to the healer and then the orphanage as soon as the healer is done with him. Aforementioned healer raises an amused eyebrow, “You’ve named him?” Fuck he's already named him. Mentally, he rearranges his plans for the next decade or two. By sunset Alfred has already filled out the necessary papers, informed his colleagues, bought new children's clothes and cleared out a room in his quarters. He brushes his new son’s, Jaskier’s, hair out of his sleeping face and sighs a deeply resigned sigh. It will be the first of man

The Heart Is A Muscle T 31,045

The one where Jaskier is fae, Geralt can’t connect the dots to save his life, and, with some help, the pair discover what it means to find your true family.

Masquerade As The Love Of Your Life EX 20,667

“As you know, Nilfgaard is pressuring Kaedwen borders. Our lands are struggling.” Vesemir has his arms crossed over his chest, his face stony. “We have a very promising solution but it’s also our least favourable.”

The Highest Reward T 2,240 SERIES

“What do you want in return?”

The fae’s smile was anything but reassuring. “Oh, nothing you will miss. Nothing you have ever wanted. I only ask for your first child.”

His Bard, Eternal EX 3,678

Geralt is just about to Kaer Morhen with Ciri when he comes across a village that desperately needs his help. He continues taking Ciri to Kaer Morhen so she is safe before turning back to take the job offer. There, he comes across a familiar bard that he had not seen since the dragon hunt with Borch. Can he make things better? Is Jaskier willing to forgive him? Find out here!

Make Them Hear You M 2,514 SERIES

The first year Jaskier goes to Kaer Morhen, he's struck almost dumb by the pain of the keep, the losses it's seen, and the cries of the land. There's little he can do to help, but what little he can, he will.

Thomas The Rhymer T 37,401

Jaskier, heartbroken and banished from his Witcher's side, finds himself employed by the Fae Queen for seven years. In return for teaching music lessons and performing for guests of the Seelie Court, she promises the bard a longer life, knowledge of the Faerie Tongue, and an escape from the pain that haunts his shattered mortal heart. After seven years of searching the world over for his bard, Geralt stumbles upon a familiar face in a clearing. A man with cornflower blue eyes, wavy brown hair, slightly pointed ears, and absolutely no memory whatsoever of the White Wolf.

Iron Blood T

It’s inevitable that it would’ve happened, sooner or later. He’d imagined that it would be at the hands of some mercenary or a hunter, though. He presses his eyes closed, hissing against the smell of burning flesh as it tears through his throat. In which Jaskier pretends Geralt doesn't know anything, and Geralt tries to court a fae.

Love/Home/Heart T 34,851

Jaskier remembers his birth. Or rather he remembers his first breaths in this world. A woman, unrelated to him by blood but his mother all the same, pulls him wailing out of the ground. He feels her joy and the stench of old magic in the air, the… the knowledge is gone. Contrary to popular belief, thank you Lambert, Geralt was not stupid. As soon as he’d walked into the Tavern in Posada, he’d known something was different about the bard. After an encounter with a Djinn, Yennefer finds herself with a Fae indebted to her. They keep running into each other.

Fingertip Distance. NR

People didn’t like to touch Geralt unless it was for a purpose. To hand him coin so he could deal with a couple of pesky monsters, to try and best him in a fight, or to lay with him for a night after they’ve been paid. People didn’t like touching Geralt, but Jaskier isn’t people. Jaskier touches him all the time, when he’s drunk and trying to regain his balance, when he’s tired and needs someone to lean on, when he needs Geralt’s attention he will press his fingertips to Geralt’s elbow. And Geralt? He finds himself fixating on those fingertips. Yennefer has warned him, told him that his control wasn’t as good as he thought it was, but as Jaskier stares at him, wide eyed and open mouthed Geralt can only hide his head in shame and blame the summer heat. For all the times Jaskier might have touched him, this is the first time Geralt reciprocated.

Escaped My T 17,005

Jaskier followed Geralts wish, of course he would grant his friends' one final request to leave. Jaskier was done with singing, after all his friend hadn't thought much of it, instead used his silver tongue for other things- much less honourable things. What did it matter Geralt was gone anyway so no one could tell him to stop.

His Name Means Air T 7,062 SERIES

Always too loud and too bright, Jaskier believes that he’s a changeling. He also believes that if Geralt finds out, he’ll kill him.

Out Of The Night That Covers Me EX 37,820 SERIES

Jaskier has begrudgingly agreed to accompany Geralt to Kaer Morhen for the winter. He has not, however, agreed to being up front about his true nature. Meeting the family is stressful enough without the threat of a painful death.

You Wingless Thing M 26,650

So, Geralt saves the terrorizing for the actual noble lord, and makes himself as unthreatening as possible. Contrary to popular belief, he isn’t a savage, bloodthirsty beast, and he’d rather this boy not be raised under that falsehood - though, it’s likely no matter what Geralt does that he will.The boy’s voice stutters as he looks up at Geralt, words coming out too fast and heart beating rabbit-fast. “S-sir, Lord Erynd requests your presence.” Geralt gets a contract in a town called Eristan, but it turns out the only monster there is human.

The Price Of Wanting M

He hadn't the imagination to build a human from scratch at the time, when he decided that no other shape would truly suffice, so he acquired one in the grand tradition of his people. He had offered the mortal a trade, as one did, and in return for his aid, he was granted his name: Julian Alfred Pankratz.

#the witcher #fic rec #jaskier

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ultravi0lence14 · 2 months ago

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From Eden

castiel x fairyfem!reader

1.7k | fluff

summary: as a wood nymph, you find yourself entangled with all sorts of hunters and supernatural creatures alike. although, you did have a better liking towards angels, especially ones in trench coats.

being a wood nymph wasn’t as easy as people assumed. for starters, you hated that people categorized you with the fairies. they were lovely creatures don’t get it wrong, but you were a whole other kind of species, and you too wanted to be appreciated for your own kind of talents.

secondly, being a mystical creature as is meant you had hunters and different kinds of curious creatures on your back. you weren’t a bad person, you just wanted some peace and quiet for gods sake. on the topic of hunters, sam and dean winchester were number one on your list of people who didn’t know how to give you some alone time.

those boys always needed help with something. whether it be your magical knack for research, or even something as small as dean wanting one of your yummy apple pies. they always called on you for help, and you were starting to think that moving from your forest cottage onto the road with them might be more beneficial.

then you would remember all of your forest friends, and the uncomfortable feeling of living out of the impala and motels. that idea went out of the window after that.

today was just like any other. you woke up, walked downstairs to make your chamomile tea, and sat down on your couch to switch between watching your favourite tv show and reading your favourite book. the day was going great, it was almost one in the afternoon and you felt at peace with how calming your day had been. nothing could’ve made it any worse.

your phone going off with the specific ringtone you made for dean had you sighing. of course you had to jinx yourself, no way he was calling you with good news. it wasn’t in the winchester brothers genetic makeup. he called to tell you that him and sam had a case near your home, and that they needed to see you so that they could catch you up on everything that has happened since you three last spoke.

waiting for the two men to get to your home, you grudgingly got up and went to your room so you could get ready. by the time you were done getting your clothes on, a loud knock was heard by the door, and you knew sam and dean were here to drop a load of awful information on you.

your sock covered feet padded across the floor as the wind from the door opening blew your long white dress back. sam and dean just smiled at you, moving into your home as you closed your front door and turned around so you could face the brothers awkwardly standing in your living room.

“you guys can sit down, your making me antsy.” with that you moved to the kitchen to make them both a cup of tea, fixing the bow in the back of your hair in the process.

when the tea was ready you sat across from sam and dean on the couch, all three of you going on to discuss the problem at hand over tea and cookies you’d made a couple days prior. they informed you on all the craziness happening now that lucifer was out of his cage, and you informed them on how you planned to stay as far away from that as possible.

mid conversation, you felt an added on presence into the room. turning around, the sight of castiel by your front door had your heart squeezing in your chest and a huge smile lighting up on your face.

looking over at the winchester boys, cas didn’t leave any room for silence before he spoke. “i found out what lucifer’s plan is, him and his army are going to– oof.” his sentence was abruptly cut short as you flung yourself into him, throwing your arms around his neck as your head went into his chest. “cas! you’re here!”

it was like sam and dean disappeared all together, for the feeling of cas hugging you back and kissing the side of your head had you feeling like you were the only people alive. “of course i’m here, tulip.” castiel spoke softly in your ear. the nickname that was born from your favourite flower had you going red in the face.

a loud cough was heard from behind you two, and as you turned around — arms still latched around castiel’s neck, you saw the unamused look on dean’s face and the slightly disgusted one on sam’s. finally remembering that the brothers were still here, you unattached yourself from castiel, turning towards the two men with an awkward look on your face.

“can we get back to the problem at hand? or do you two plan on going to Y/N’s room to fuck? cause if so, sammy and i are going back to our motel.” dean’s words had a bright blush dusting your cheeks. it also didn’t help that cas’ arm found it’s way around your waist, and after dean’s words, his hand tightening ever so slightly on your stomach.

throwing one of your pillows at dean’s head, you quietly mumbled a small, ‘shut up dean’ before his laughter was heard throughout the entire house.

“if you don’t mind dean,” castiel’s voice came from behind you, sounding more hard and annoyed than before. “i’d like to continue our conversation about the devil himself being out into the world and causing immense suffering and damage.” that shut that older winchester up, and you couldn’t help but stick your tongue out at him when his eyes had met yours.

the three men continued with their conversation, your cheeks going red every time you felt cas’ arm tighten around your waist or his hand caress the front of your stomach. he always needed to be touching you in some way, rather it be holding your hand or simply touching pinkies, he didn’t care. castiel just wanted to know that you were there and you were safe.

their conversation didn’t go on for much longer, and after you bid both sam and dean goodbye, you closed the door and turned around to see your angelic boyfriend admiring the daisies you had on your coffee table.

you couldn’t help but stare at him, the slopes and plains of his face completely drawing you in. he truly was an angel, for his features and pure hurt could make flowers grow and birds sing.

walking up behind the angel, you wrapped your arms around his torso and rested your head on his back. castiel instantly softened, hands resting on the daisies petals as he allowed the comfort you provided him to sink into his pores.

after a long minute of basking in the peaceful silence, castiel turned around and gently grabbed your face, lifting it upwards so he could place a short and gentle kiss on your lips.

when you pulled away, he looked beyond you into the backyard of your cottage, blue eyes turning brighter as the rays of sun hit his face. “it’s a beautiful day, my love. how about we go outside and tend to your garden?”

your garden was one of the most important things in your life. the flowers that you looked over every single day, the ivy that found itself growing over the wooden arch you put at the entrance, and the array of animals that found themselves wandering around the premises.

wood nymphs protected forest’s. so after you decided to move into your own home, a garden was the next best thing you could think of watching over.

castiel loved joining you when it came to gardening. whether it was planting new flowers or helping any plants that needed heeling, cas was there. he even bought you both matching garden gloves for your anniversary.

grabbing castiel’s hand, you led the both of you outside and down the cobblestone path that when followed would grant access to your botanical wonderland.

you watched as castiel took off both his trench coat and suit jacket, rolling his dress shirts sleeves up so he wouldn’t get dirt all over them. the sun was shining bright above the both of you, and you were glad you decided to wear a breezy dress on such a beautiful day.

gardening with cas was peaceful. sometimes you wondered if there were things that he needed to be tending to in heaven. as of now, you wondered if the battle with lucifer needed his help and if gardening with you was such a great idea. he was an angel of the lord after all, and keeping him holed up in your garden wasn’t going to make the other angels happy.

castiel wanted to stay, he had told you so countless times. all of the stress and worry he had over the impending doom of lucifer’s arrival was starting to take a toll on him. what better way to destress than to watch and help his beautiful girlfriend tend to her flowers.

as you both finished up your gardening for the day, you suggested baking one of your pies. even though castiel couldn’t eat it — for all food tasted like molecules to him, he still enjoyed the smell that drifted through your home as you baked.

everything was just so simple. from the way he wiped dirt from your cheek, placing a feather light kiss to the same spot after he was done. walking up behind you and fixing the delicate bow in your hair as you rolled out the pie crust, cas continuing to stand behind you and caress your hair as he watched you work.

every couple of minutes, cas would lean in and nuzzle his face in your neck. feather light kisses being left in his wake as he muttered in your ear about how much he loved you. “you are the best thing to ever happen to me, honey.” his voice would melt into your heart like frosting on a cake, sweetening up your mind as the colour of cherries would dust your cheeks.

a forest fairy and an angel of the lord. who would’ve thought that such creatures would work well together. but you and cas were alive and you were living proof of it, relishing in your common interests yet clear differences.

spending your days doing simple tasks with cas always made you happy, and you were glad that today was one of those days.

#supernatural #imagine #supernatural x reader #dean winchester #sam winchester #castiel imagine #castiel x reader #castiel #fluff

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kitthepurplepotato · 9 months ago

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Chapter 19 - Cards against humanity.

Part 2 of Winter Wonderland!

Summary: The gang makes it to the cabins. Izuku and Y/N tries out the fluffy rug in front of the fireplace. The heroes play Cards Against Humanity (MHA version) while drunk. Things get out of hand really quickly.

Warnings: Swear words, suggestive, drinking, drunk shenanigans, absolutely vile Cards Against Humanity cards so please, be aware that this chapter contains a lot of uhm… stuff. 16 +

First Chapter Master List KO-FI page

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

“I won, motherfuckers!” Katsuki yells victoriously as he makes it to the top of the mountain with Eijirou in his tail. Needless to say, everyone is in pieces; there’s so much panting going on, Rody is meters behind everyone, actually hyperventilating, you, Kyouka and Izuku are somewhere in the middle but only because Izuku gave you a piggy back ride (with black whip because he’s a good boy and he knows his limits.)

“I’m never… going camping with… heroes… ever again.” Rody pants, his legs shaking like a leaf.

“Who asked you to run with us, huh?” Katsuki retorts with a devilish smirk. “Know your place, weakling!”

“I thought… we are done … hating each other?!” Rody pants.

“This is how he loves, Rody.” Kirishima sighs.

“Jesus, stop fucking talking and sit the fuck down for a second, do you want to die or something?!” Katsuki yells with a red face, from embarrassment or just from the cold, no one will ever know.

The view is absolutely stunning up here; you can see the whole city underneath, the fairy lights connected to the street lights are sparkling happily, the snowflakes are massive but their flow is quite sparse at the moment so you can see everything perfectly as the snow doesn’t obstruct the view too much. Up on the mountain where you are standing right now, the snow is fresh and crisp, completely untouched except for the few imprints of your own shoes, the cabins are also covered in white, fairly lights attached to every single one of them, all sparkling in different colors to make the cabins distinguishable (probably in case someone gets too drunk to remember which cabin they rented. Haha).

“I’m sure I don’t really need to tell you who stays with who but I will do it anyway.” Shouto speaks up as well, clearly excited to be able to do his usual shenanigans. “First cabin: Hitoshi, Denki and Kyouka.” Kyouka and Denki cheers happily. Hitoshi looks… a little bit gobsmacked.

“You guys are getting the bigger cabin which has three separate rooms, so you can sleep alone if you need privacy or you can just use the massive master bedroom and have a sleepover!” Rody chimes in, picking up on the grumpy vibes coming from the lilac haired man.

“Oh, Rody! Do you mind sharing the other big cabin with us?” Yaomomo smiles.

“Yeah, that’s perfect for me!”

“With that said.” Shouto continues. “Momo, Rody and I will share the second cabin. Tamaki and Mirio will get the third one, Katsuki and Eijirou the fourth, which has a massive common space apparently, and Izuku and Y/N are getting the last cabin.”

“If there are any invisible individuals hiding in a bushes, please speak up now. The cabins will be locked overnight and it’s freezing outside.” Yaomomo adds, looking around with clear suspicion.

“Hagakure is not here.” Kyouka speaks up. “I personally asked if she would like to come but she’s away on a mission in America.”

“Splendid.” Momo mutters. “Please make sure to take some pictures for the people who couldn’t make it today. They might not be here in person but let’s make them feel included by sending them selfies and pictures of the place.”

“There’s no reception up here but there is wi-fi in the cabins! Don’t ask how they made that happen, but… yeah.” Rody scratches the back of his head sheepishly.

“Okay, so...” Momo continues. “This is where we usually give warnings, but seeing your faces, I think there is no need to do this today. But please, drink responsibly and don’t do stupid things. Only go outside in groups during the night.”

“Don’t go into the attached onsen while drunk. Trust me, it doesn’t end well if you do.” Rody chimes in, embarrassed. “Hot water and alcohol are a really bad combination.”

“Thank you for your helpful input, Rody! I’m glad to have another reasonable person in this group!”

“You guys know he only knows that because he fucking tried, right?” Katsuki mutters, rolling his eyes aggressively.

“That’s a fair point. But he learnt his lesson!” Mirio, the symbol of positivity adds.

“Hey, can you do something about that rainbow coming out of your ass? It hurts my eyes.” Katsuki makes a snarky comment, trying his best to sound menacing but he can barely hide his smile.

“Stop looking at my juicy peach then!” Mirio turns away, showing off his indeed juicy butt to the “audience” by bending over. The whole gang roars.

“Is this another gay thing I don’t understand?” Shouto asks his girlfriend with a bamboozled look on his face.

“I think it’s just a Mirio thing, to be absolutely honest.” Momo giggles with a fond look on her face. “Let’s go, guys!” She yells once more and everyone makes their way towards their respective cabin.

Izuku takes your hand in his and pulls you towards the cabin excitedly; you go without a single retort.

~•🥦•~

“This is so cute!” You yell excitedly right as you go through the main door.

This cabin looks so homey it makes you want to cry. Everything is wood and it’s just how you imagined it in your daydreams; there is a massive, cosy sofa full of blankets, almost the size of a normal living room, yellow fairy lights everywhere on the ceiling. There is a massive fireplace built into the wall, heat emanating from the fire that the staff has started before you arrived, filling the room with warmth and that lovely scent of burning wood.

“The fluffy rug!” Izuku points at the pure white rug by the fireplace exitedly. “It has a fluffy rug!” He doesn’t even let you put your backpack down before he pulls you towards it with childish glee.

“Izuku, we only have half an hour!”

“Shut up, wifey.”

“Izuku, what the hell?!” You giggle to yourself, given up on resisting quite quickly; Izuku takes that as a win and pulls you into his lap, slowly taking the backpack off your shoulders. He throws it on the massive sofa with the help of black whip, then lies down on the fluffy rug with you on top of him. Huh. This position is quite… uhm… suggestive. Huh, take a few deep breaths, will ya?!

You look down to see Izuku’s face and damn, that was a mistake; his hair is splayed out on the rug, his pine green hair even brighter in the sunlight coming in from the massive windows behind him; his face is pink from the cold, his eyes full of wonder as he looks up at you. You can’t help but lower yourself down, leaning on your elbows so you can look into those emerald eyes with nothing but love.

“Hi.” You mutter, your eyes slowly moving down to his puffy lips.

“Kiss me.”

That’s all it took to loose your composure. One sentence.

You kiss him with all you’ve got while Izuku’s hands snake inside your coat and your shirt and the touch sets your whole body ablaze; you slowly open Izuku’s own coat to be able to touch him properly, you hate all these layers, it’s way too hot in here, way too much for your little heart to take in, knowing it can’t go anywhere right now, but you can’t stop, you just can’t, his scent is so addicting, that citrusy pine, that hint of wood and sweat, it’s so Izuku…

You make a small whimper when you feel Izuku’s tongue dancing with yours while he pulls you closer and closer until every single one of your body parts touch.

“Calm down.” You mutter to him (and to yourself), your actions saying the opposite as you deepen the kiss even more. You’ll never get used to being able to this, to kiss the man of your dreams. Needless to say the half an hour passes before you can even put your stuff down properly; you can’t stop enjoying each other on the fluffy rug, probably smelly from all the sweat because heavily kissing in five layers of clothing is the stupidest thing you two could have done right before Katsuki’s grill party. Both of you start laughing as your alarm goes off.

“Well, uhm… should we roll in the snow for a few minutes before we go?” You snicker with your nose in Izuku’s neck.

“Should we just skip it and uhm… continue this?” Izuku retorts back. You can’t help but giggle once again.

“Do you want to die a slow, torturous death?”

“I’m quite sure I’ll be beaten to pulp the second we go through that door while looking like this anyway.”

“Fair point. Let’s go.” You try to pull yourself up but Izuku is not having it.

“One more kiss.”

… you got there half an hour late. I know, shocking.

~•🥦•~

“Today we are playing… drum beats please…” Denki’s body is about to burst from all the energy. Katsuki, still busy plating the food, stops for a second and beats on his thighs. “Thank you! We are playing… cards against humanity!”

The whole gang yells “NOOOOOOOO!”. Except for Denki and Katsuki. They look fucking thrilled.

“And I thought today will be easy.” Momo sighs exasperatedly.

“I want to go home.” Tamaki mutters to Mirio who only smiles at him.

“Okay guys, you don’t need to play if you don’t want to!” Denki retreats. “You guys can be the judges! So who’s playing?”

“Fuck yes!” Katsuki yells.

“I’m in!” Kirishima also joins.

“Hmm…” Izuku mutters then his smile changes into a shit-eating grin. “Fuck yeah.”

“Oh my god, Izuku swore! Hell yeah, man!”

You swear you see some electricity crackling around Denki. Bro must me really excited.

“I think I want to try this game.” Shouto mutters as well.

“Amajiki and I will play together if that’s okay!” Mirio chimes in; bless him, he’s such a sweetheart for trying to keep the shy man in the loop without him being in the centre of attention, knowing way too much that he would probably shit himself if he’d need to read the cards out loud in front of all these people.

Momo, Rody, you and Hitoshi became the judges of the game. You have a feeling this will be a lot of fun.

~•🥦•~

“What would Granma find disturbing, yet oddly charming?” Rody reads out the question loud, buzzing from energy. “Come on, don’t disappoint me.”

The players are already laughing their ass off as they look through their cards. Rody collects the cards and can barely stop laughing.

“All Might’s massive thighs on your face. Wow. Kinky.”

“Shigaraki’s five hundred broken fingers.” Hitoshi reads the next one. “Wow. That’s a good one.”

“Deku’s Big, weird eyes.” You giggle as you read the next card. “That was Katsuki’s. Hundred percent.”

“Oh my god, I really don’t want to read this…. Hawk’s out of control blowjob parties.” Momo’s whole face flushes. The whole gang roars.

“Fat Gum’s soft belly. Awww!”

“Communism. This card is so dry it must have come from Shouto.”

“Fuck you, Rody.”

“Rude.”

~•🥦•~

“Bonus features include never-before-seen footage of…” Momo reads the next question.

This game is getting out of hand already.

“A severed horse penis being hurled at a politician. Okay who the fuck was that?” You giggle to yourself.

“Who the fuck do you think?” Katsuki replies with a shit eating grin.

“A sad, old man. Is that supposed to be an All Might reference?”

“You can NOT just call All Might a sad old man!” Izuku gawks, offended. Everyone ignores him.

“Wigs made of executed LOV members. That’s… wow.”

“All for One riding a baby horse. I need to see that.”

~•🥦•~

“You need to sit here and think about…” You read out the next question. The boys look more and more drunk as the game goes. Izuku is giggling to himself like an idiot the whole time and it’s the cutest thing you’ve ever seen.

“Stabbing a guy in the eye with an arrow, pulling it out and shooting another guy with it.”

Everyone looks at Katsuki. It’s just so obvious that it’s him.

“Casually suggesting a threesome. Someone needs to get laid.” Rody comments and Kyouka grins like an idiot.

“Throwing your dad into a dumpster and yelling “who’s the daddy now?”” You can’t help but literally snort out loudly at this one. “Okay, I don’t even care about the rest, this one wins.”

“It was me.” Shouto admits and the whole gang gawks at him.

“Damn, I’m impressed.” Even Katsuki can’t help but comment on this one.

“Momo says I have daddy issues.” He mumbles back with a straight face, his cheeks blushed from the alcohol.

Half of the team ends up on the floor, dying.

Kaminari resigns from the game and stays on the floor for the rest of the night.

~•🥦•~

“This year, I’m going to dedicate 100% of my energy to:” Hitoshi reads the card and takes one of the answer cards into his hand. “A Nomu wearing a tiny raincoat and booties. Okay, that’s quite disturbing but kinda cute.”

“You are cute.” Kaminari giggles, still on the floor, completely wasted. An exasperated sigh leaves Hitoshi’s mouth.

“You always talk nonsense when you are drunk.”

“You are cute though. Don’t sell yourself short buddy!” Rody smiles at the purple haired man who flushes aggressively.

“He can’t sell himself short. He’s tall.” Kaminari mutters and goes back to sleep. Your tummy hurts so much from all the laughing but you can’t help but laugh once again.

“Worshipping Stain’s right ear hole.” Momo snort sat this one. “This game has no filter.”

“Sucking Dynamight’s dick until it explodes.” You read the next card, flushing like a virgin.

“I like this game.” Katsuki laughs proudly. “The creator has a good taste.”

“Oh my god, Katsuki.” Eijirou giggles next him with an incredulous look on his face.

“What?” Katsuki retorts. “Feels nice to be appreciated!”

“Time to stop drinking, Kats. Your soft side is coming out.”

“Whatever.”

“Licking shoes.” Everyone looks at Shouto. Shouto just shrugs.

~•🥦•~

“Last round because you all had too much to drink.” Rody reprimands, looking at the pile of people on the floor. The only ones still paying are Mirio, Katsuki, Shouto and Izuku. Tamaki is still sober but he decided to sit in the corner, right next to the pile of people to “keep an eye on them”. It’s absolutely hilarious. You can’t help but take a picture of it. Hitoshi looks like he’s ready to kill as he stares at Denki and Kyouka snuggled up on the floor, right next to the fireplace. No one comments on it. They are too terrified of drunk Hitoshi to do so. “Who’s hot and smelly and about to die?”

“A fucked up alien fish from the deep.” You read the first card.

“All for one’s hope for a “better” future. Damn.” Rody laughs.

“Red Riot’s popularity.” At that, Katsuki smirks right at his drunk fiancé who gives him a side glare for being an asshole. “Oi, it was a joke, you are literally the hottest man walking on Earth.”

When Momo reads the last card, she almost chokes on their saliva.

“We have a winner, guys.” She smirks and shows the card to the rest of the team.

The card simply says…

“Endevour.”

“Jesus fuck, I’m dying.” Katsuki laughs like a maniac, reading out the card out loud. Even Kaminari wakes up to the loud laughter that seems to never end. Izuku is literally crying at this point.

“Oh my god, I will burn in hell for laughing at this but… I can’t stop!”

“Izuku, take a deep breath!” You whine, still laughing your ass off.

“One extra round?” Katsuki smirks at the his friends and he completely ignores the group’s loud “NOOOOOO!” And takes a card from the pile. It’s a two card one, this time. “Okay fuckers, let’s take 5 more extra cards and let’s have some fun with it.” Katsuki gives the card to you to read it out loud.

“Dying from - something - is painless, but I would still prefer -something-. Three, two, one, go!”

This time, everyone reads their own cards out loud because the drunk idiots forgot how to play this game. It’s only Katsuki, Shouto and Mirio in the game now, Izuku laughed so much he made himself sick and now he’s resting in your lap, trying not to throw up. He’s so silly sometimes, honestly.

“They say dying from a tiny dick is painless, but I would still prefer sex with a blindfold.” Katsuki smirks, clearly proud of his own creation.

“Not today, babe.” Kirishima mumbles from the floor and that’s when the whole team roars. Katsuki looks like he’s about to explode.

“They say dying from shame is painless but I would still prefer another war with All for One.” Mirio reads his own answer with a massive smile on his face.

“Damn.”

“They say dying from a firm tofu is painless, but I would still prefer choking on pro hero Deku’s humongous dick.” Shouto KILLS everyone with his his answer. At least half of the gang has tears in their eyes.

Izuku chokes on his own saliva then laughs for a few minutes with his hands on his belly and… runs to the toilet to throw up.

“Emotional damage.” Hitoshi mumbles, smiling like an idiot.

Shouto somehow wins the game. His reward is one of Kaminari’s concoctions that was left on the kitchen counter. Shouto joins Izuku in the toilet a few minutes later.

“Why can’t you guys party like normal people?” Momo sighs, already sobered up.

“Why can’t you pull that stick out of your ass and relax for once?”

“Oh, you mean this one?” Momo creates a random stick from her lower back instead of her tummy, making the whole gang roar once again. It really looked like she just took that out of her ass, bless her creativity for that.

“Katsuki, I can’t laugh anymore. I’m in agony.” Eijirou whimpers on the floor, completely, utterly done with life. You must admit, he looks extremely hot, disheveled like that. Like damn, that guy is a fucking snack. Good job, Katsuki. Good fucking job.

Okay, you definitely had way too much to drink today.

“I’ll get Izu-Izu from the toilet.” You mutter as you stand up from the sofa.

“I’ll take the three bozos home then come back for Shouto.” Momo sighs as he makes his way towards the pile of people on the floor.

“I’ll help!” Tamaki SMILES at her and the whole team gawks. “What? I had fun. And Denki gave me his drink to finish.”

“Oh no, he’s been tainted with the Denki juice.” Hitoshi mumbles. Tamaki answers by growing a potato on his arm. “Huh. I guess there was vodka in it.”

Needless to say, NO ONE makes it home after that. At least the floor is nice and warm, thanks to the lovely fireplace in the wall. Katsuki doesn’t even look surprised, he just throws a bunch of blankets on everyone and lies down next to Eijirou, giggling to himself happily.

“Best party ever.”

… Next Chapter!

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

TL: @garfieldthomas @porusuniverse @stickygumchewer @sixxze @mily-moo @aei-sedai-moiraine @aymasakusa @katsuari @kenzie-deadly @shiviwrites07 @lukerycyja-reblogs @cloroxisadelectabletreat @coffeent @kisskissshutmydoor @bobcar1 @yazminetrahan @cringefan @ronimacaroni77 @themultifandomgirl @dangerousluv1 @emperatris-rinaka @shotos-angelic-whore @angelsdemonsmonsters @norvacaine @rei165 @unofficialmuilover @yao-ai @happydragonfrog @eeerreehhh @vinivave @alyss-eiz @sleepisfortheweakpooh

#bnha x reader #mha x reader #midoriya x reader #midoriya Izuku x reader #pro hero deku x you #pro hero Deku x reader #Deku x reader

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artist-issues · 1 year ago

Text

Screentime For the Prince

You know how in the original Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, each character's true nature is revealed by what they choose to treasure?

You know, Grumpy treasures safety because his true nature is vulnerable, the Queen treasures beauty because her true nature is ugly, and Snow White is the only one who's treasure is as true as her nature: pure love?

And how the Prince only gets around 5 minutes of screentime, and in those 5 minutes, proves that he A) treasures Snow White's true nature of pure love and B) keeps his promises?

Well, I was thinking. In the new Live Action, they're basically writing in a different male character in place of the Prince and not focusing on any kind of love story. So it's not actually "Snow White." But what would a good, faithful, beautiful adaptation of Snow White look like? (You know, one that actually does adaptations correctly--like Cinderella 2015?)

What should they be doing with the Prince?

I have a general idea below.

I mean, they can't introduce him in the same way they did in the classic animation. Obviously modern people aren't used to so much nuance in their big-screen fairy tales anymore; 5 minutes of screentime isn't enough, we prefer Mr. Darcy & Lizzie Bennet-levels of couple-building interactions, at least. And that's okay.

But it means we have to fill in a lot of the blanks about where this Prince comes from and why he values Snow White's "pure love nature" so strongly.

So I figure, in my head, it might look something like:

The Prince (let's call him Walther, German for "Walt," since basically everybody who worked on the original movie agrees that it was Walt's big brain child, and the popularized "Ferdinand" is not only fan-made but makes me think of a kindhearted bull) is the heir to a neighboring kingdom's throne.

Prince Walther isn't King yet, not because his parents are still King and Queen (they're dead,) but because tradition states he can only take the throne once he's come of age. Prince Walther's like 17, turning 18. So instead, his kingdom is essentially run by this council of busybodies, with one Regent holding the throne until he's old enough to take it. Something like that.

(the picture is of Dean Stockwell who's the son of the original voice actor for the Prince, I think someone who looks like him ought to be cast.) Prince Walther experienced pure love from his parents, who treated him like a normal boy and didn't place much emphasis on courtly manners or politics when raising him. But then they died tragically, leaving their honest and innocent son to be raised by a bunch of old people who put way TOO much emphasis on those things.

Because everyone in Prince Walther's court has had to handle being next-door neighbors to the Wicked Queen's country. They're all super political, and afraid of appearing weak, and therefore, very insincere. That's what I'm saying.

Everyone he interacts with on a daily basis never comes out and says what they really want. Nobody is genuine. He lives a life of hearing words like, "good morning Your Majesty, I hope you slept well. The Grand Duke could certainly stand to sleep better; the poor fellow looked run down at breakfast." but learning that what they actually mean is, "The Duke is getting old and ineffective and when your birthday passes you should decree that he give his land and resources away to me."

And he misses the genuine love the court used to feel from his parents' kind, simple way of ruling. No political games, no complex feuds. Plus, he misses the personal love they shared as a family, genuine, uncomplicated. He missed the days when people just say what they really want, unafraid, so that their rulers can take care of their needs.

Then there's the problem of why Prince Walther's in the Wicked Queen's realm in the original movie--that's not his territory, if he has his own kingdom.

So I think it would be neat and interesting if the Queen wants Walther's land. Maybe she invited his parents, way back when, to a kind of audience to negotiate an alliance. Then she got jealous of his mother's beauty, maybe even tried to seduce Prince Walther's father, and assassinated them both when he rebuffed her. Oo, maybe even the Huntsman (her FAITHFUL Huntsman) helped her do it all those years ago.

But she didn't realize they had a young son, so she couldn't just raise her hand and say, "Hey Neighboring Kingdom, it's too bad your monarchs both mysteriously died--don't worry, I'll be your new leader" because Prince Walther's council suspected foul play (they always do, they're suspicious people) and were preemptively like "NO NO WE HAVE A PRINCE, WE HAVE A PRINCE! We're fine, we don't need help, everything's fine."

So she sort of had to stew on that. Maybe she even tried a couple more halfhearted attempts to get their throne, and they just never worked out--then eventually her attention was occupied by how much older her stepdaughter was getting, and how much prettier.

Anyway, Prince Walther asks for an audience with the Wicked Queen; he's about to become King, and he knows that the council fears their neighbor, and he sort of wants to go over and size the next-door ruler up for himself. So he rides over with a little delegation of the members of the Court he can actually tolerate the best, and is visiting.

It's not fun. They're only there for a day, but the Wicked Queen is definitely scary. For one thing, she's unnaturally beautiful and everyone he brought with him is either stupefied in her presence or terrified. He himself is very confused by her; he's an open-hearted guy, with a touch of naïveté even though he was raised with good intuition and doesn't trust the Queen. All audiences with her are full of all the formal, double-and-triple meaning conversations that he hates back home; except worse, because she makes everything seem more sinister.

So after a particularly weird conversation with the Queen where he can't decide if she was flirting with him or threatening his kingdom, he goes for a ride around the courtyard to clear his head. And what should he hear, like a breath of the freshest air since his parents died?

A pure, beautiful voice. A young girl singing--and not just singing about anything, but singing about what she really wants. Genuinely. Her heart's fondest desire--and it's not power, or land, or even freedom. Just love. She's singing loudly, like she doesn't care who might hear such a vulnerable longing.

And he climbs over the wall and sees this scullery maid. She's absolutely beautiful, even though she's dressed all in rags, and he loves the picture of her: sharing her heart with doves, who feel completely safe with her, and not having to worry about what anyone thinks of her.

He sort of eavesdrops on her for a little bit, and in this part of the movie, maybe we learn how impulsive he is. He just jumps over and tries to join in. Maybe it's even a little funny. And we can stretch out the feelings behind the part where Snow White runs from him--that feeling of her being unsure of a stranger, not because she worries about what he thinks, but because it's so surprising that anyone is taking notice of her so abruptly at all. And she doesn't know him.

Maybe he asks to extend his stay at the Queen's palace and keep negotiating or whatever, but he really just wants to get to know the scullery maid better.

Then the romance is sort of still fast, but built in a way that the audience can sink their teeth into. The Prince and Snow White have a few more mutually-agreed-upon meetings, not necessarily hiding them, but just in breaks between courtly audiences with the wicked Queen. They're both enamored with each other: she's never been treated so kindly by anyone and his whole faith in pure, innocent love and uncomplicated, genuine people is being restored just by talking to her. They bond chiefly over missing their parents.

Eventually he learns that she is the Queen's daughter--maybe from the Huntsman, maybe from Snow herself in an innocent way. He's stunned that she's treated so poorly, but the second he learns it, he confesses that he loves her and he wants to take her away from there. Plus, this solves the whole "will my kingdom go to war with the Wicked Queen or be allies even though we can't trust her" diplomacy thing--Snow White is her heir, so it would be a beautiful twist of Providence that the girl he has fallen in love with can also be the alliance of peace for the kingdoms through marriage.

Snow White accepts his proposal, but she's afraid for a moment that her stepmother won't allow it. The Prince urges her not to be afraid: he'll take her to his castle and they'll be happy no matter what: he promises it, he gives her his word, he encourages her not to worry because he won't let anything stop him. It's lovely. She finally has someone she can gift her superpower of pure love to, and someone who can treasure her like she deserves.

Problem is, the Queen overhears this last conversation, right after learning that Snow White is the new "Fairest of All" from her mirror, just like in the original film.

So while the Prince is convincing his council that he's proposed to Snow White, the Queen's largely-unknown secret stepdaughter, and is going to reveal the fact to the Queen tomorrow, the Huntsman and the Queen herself are plotting the assassination attempt that eventually leads to Snow running for her life and living with the Dwarfs before she ever gets the chance to see her betrothed again.

Then the movie unfolds largely the same way it did, but with more dialogue and nuance strengthening the original's main themes: Snow White is pure love in nature, and that's everything the Prince has been missing, and he fulfills his promise which she has total faith in. And along the way, the Dwarfs learn to care more about protecting an innocent girl than they care about protecting themselves, and treasuring a person over jewels. Grumpy in particular. And the Queen dies because she's a jealous witch who's self-love has twisted her into something ugly.

Basically, what I'm saying is, there's a way to make the Prince compelling for audiences who are now used to more fleshed-out interactions in movie couples. Just give him a background that is longing for pure, uncomplicated, innocent love. Then when he runs into Snow White, who's never been treasured and valued since her parents died, they give each other everything they've been longing for--and then they have faith in one another when circumstances, both funny and sinister, force them apart.

It's like the Notebook (just in story structure)--you build up romance in the first act through a few poignant scenes, but then the rest of the movie is about waiting for that romance to be fulfilled.

Anyway. I guess I could've said all this more succinctly, but I was kind of making it up as I went. 🤷‍♀️

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eddies-silly-art-gallery · 5 days ago

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Made an Mane Six redesign/reboot based on Jenny Nicholson’s “The Applejack problem” !!!

So, if you haven’t seen the video, the premise is that there is a magic school ran by princess Celestia. All kinds of ponies are able to perform magic and every member of the mane 6 is a different kind of pony! Also, twilight is the reincarnation of princess Luna/nightmare moon and celestia is fostering her, trying to prevent her from turning back into nightmare moon.

I’ll explain my design process under the cut!

So, first of all! I wanted each pony to have a different main color, roughly fitting the colors of the rainbow. G4 almost did this, but they don’t have any green, so I changed that!

Now, let’s begin with the ponies!

Fluttershy

Fluttershy is a Breezy pony with a white coat, orange and magenta hair and magenta leaf shaped wings and antennae! He is also a boy now because Fluttershy is my favorite.

I’d imagine breezy ponies would be about the size of a g4 doll and have tinted acetate plastic wings shaped like different leaves and flowers.

For the colors, G3 Fluttershy and Posey did not convince me. Neither did Wysteria nor Sweetheart, which I also see associated with Fluttershy.

I attempted to look at ladybug themed ponies, but Ladybird and Lady Flutter were just pink, Twins baby Polka and baby Dot were too close to g4 fluttershy, and Lovely Ladybug was too purple. So I moved to other butterfly ponies.

I ended up having to decide between giving him G3 Fairy Dust’s colors or G2 baby Flitter’s colors. Ended up going with Fairy Dust.

If I were to make a revision, I’d make his mane fully orange since rn he is kinda too magenta heavy.

Applejack

The titular bitchular! Applejack is a wing pony with a green coat, a red braided mane and transparent red wings. Her colors are just G3 Applejack, but inverted.

I’d imagine Wing Ponies would be around g1 sized, but with g2/g4 proportions. Their wings would be transparent acrylic.

Rarity Sparkler

Sparkler is a glow pony with a sky colored coat, an indigo and magenta mane and two horns. She’s using G1 Sparkler’s near exact colors. Called her sparkler because that fit more with her being a glow pony.

Glow ponies would glow in the dark, have two or three horns and have tinsel on their hair. They would be the same size as wing ponies.

Twilight Sparkle Twinkle

A lavender unicorn filly with a deep blue mane with a periwinkle stripe. She might or might not wear pigtails and she has glasses. Her colors are mainly based on G3 twilight twinkle and beta g4 twilight twinkle. Decided to use twinkle instead of sparkle bc sparkler was already a character.

Unicorns would be the same size as wing and glow ponies, but twilight is a filly, so she is small. Like, g1 baby sized.

Pinkie Pie

Not much too say, she’s just pinkie pie. She is now a crystal pony.

Crystal ponies would be about the size of a g3 pony, and have clear acrylic bodies with glitter in them.

Rainbow dash Cloudy Kicks

Cloudy kicks is a yellow soft pony with magenta, green and cyan hair. Her colors I chose bc I thought she looked nice, though she kinda looks like g3 alphabittle. Named her Cloudy Kicks (MLPEG BG character in G4) because I thought it would suit her better now that she is a soft pony.

Soft ponies would be the same size as crystal ponies. They would have the same flocking gimmick as the so-soft line, but with the addition of a wooly or furry underbelly.

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homestuckreplay · 4 months ago

Note

do you have any theories about gG? Since there are 2 white haired characters (rose and dave) I wonder if they'll have black hair like John? Or maybe something else.

aahhhh thank you so much for this ask!!

I think you are absolutely right about the black hair - now that we have three characters fairly well fleshed out, it's easy to predict how GG might complete that square. a lot of my speculation is based on that, for example:

based on current gender identities we have two boys and one girl, so GG is probably a girl

key family members of characters are a dad, a mom, and a brother, so GG probably has a sister who's important in their life

John is into movies, Rose into literature and Dave into music, so GG might be into visual art, comic books, or television (perhaps sitcoms or cartoons, purely based off their vibes)

more generally there are a lot of parallels between John and Dave's interests (specific video games and webcomics) so we might see the same with Rose and GG -

Rose and Dave have 'needlekind' and 'bladekind' strife specibi (sharp weapons) while John has 'hammerkind' (blunt weapon), so GG might have something like 'crowbarkind' or 'ladlekind'

Stack/queue, tree, and hash map are all relatively common data structures, graph seems to be another fairly common one, so GG might have a graph fetch modus

John and Dave's houses are decorated with clowns and puppets (sharing a circus/performance theme) while Rose's is decorated with wizards - GG's might be full of a different magical being, for example mermaids, fairies, or vampires

all three characters are associated with disguise and concealment, John's more physical and Rose and Dave's more emotional - GG might have makeup or face paint among their interests

we meet John when it's clear and sunny, Rose when it's dark and stormy, Dave when it's blazing hot, perhaps we'll meet GG where it's freezing cold and snowing?

John and Rose play fairly 'standard' classical instruments (piano and violin) while Dave is into beats and remixes and modern music technology - GG might be a songwriter/lyricist to match that creative aspect, or might play a more modern instrument like a synthesizer or electric guitar

John and Dave both attempt to create digital things (failed coding files and weird blogs/webcomics) while Rose creates physical things (knitting projects) so GG might have an interest in painting, collage, model making, rube goldberg machines, etc

John's shirt symbol is a similar color to GG's text, so GG's shirt might be a dark blue like John's text. Also, John and Rose both have Creatures on their shirts while Dave has a record, so GG might also have a music/technology based symbol, perhaps a cassette tape?

I've noticed that all the characters have four letter/one syllable names so far, so GG probably does too. All three names are fairly common, and Rose is nature themed, so GG's name could go down either route. Based on their personality, some options I like could be Beth, Fern, Elle, Skye or Sage.

But if I was picking their name, I'd go for Evie - it's two syllables, but its biblical allusion would make sense with the story's themes so far and the username gardenGnostic.

if anyone else has any GG theories, either based on the text or wildly speculative, I would love to hear them!!

#homestuck #theory #<- new tag perhaps?#asks #chrono

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twistedtummies2 · 1 year ago

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Fee, Fi, Fo, Fum!

Hee, Hi, Ho, Hum!

I'm a most amazing guy!

A most amazing guy, am I!

Fee, Fi, Fo, Fum!

Hee, Hi, Ho, Hum!

I'm the stuff, I'm tellin' you!

For here's what I can do!

I can change myself into an elf!

Fly up high, like the birdies!

I can disappear into atmosphere...PEEK-A-BOO!

'Cause I know the Magic Wordies...

"Fee, Fi, Fo, Fum," Billy Gilbert.

-------------------------------------------------------------

My next image in my “OCs & Inspirations” series for Disney’s 100th Anniversary! This time, I present to you Billy Géant and his inspiration, Willie the Giant from the “Mickey and the Beanstalk” segment of a personal favorite Disney film of mine, “Fun & Fancy Free!” The art here was done by @twisted-brainrot.

Billy came about because I wanted to do something with one of my favorite fairy-tales, “Jack and the Beanstalk,” which is a big part of what I think “activated” the more macro/micro side of my many, MANY kinks and fascinations. My thought process was I could do one of two things: one was create an AU for Twisted Wonderland with some characters as giants and others as “Jacks” (which I eventually did for “My Hero Academia,” and may do again for another couple of anime-ish franchises I love). Two was to create my own OC based on a Disney giant - and I went with Willie for a LOT of reasons - and do something with them. Obviously, that is the choice I went with, and I have not seen a reason to regret it: alongside Nakoda, perhaps even MORE than Nakoda, Billy is my most popular OC for Twisted Wonderland. I think there’s more art and writing for him than any of my other major characters for this universe.

He’s also the closest to his source material. Willie the Giant, in his initial appearance (and most other antagonistic roles he’s had since), is essentially a villain by incidence rather than choice. The film actually states this in black and white: “Willie was a nice giant…he just got too big for his britches.” He’s not really EVIL, he’s basically just a big, dumb kid. He’s selfish and has a bad temper: when he causes trouble, it’s not because he’s trying to actively hurt anybody, but simply because he either doesn’t know or doesn’t care about the consequences of his actions (or both). When you push him the wrong way, he then shows his dangerous side, as he can go from cuddly and silly to a terrifying titan of rage. Billy is the exact same way. As well as having a lot of Willie’s superficial elements as a character, the main takeaway between the two is that inherent childishness, and the dichotomy of danger and sweetness it provides. Billy is a lovable dunderhead who only becomes truly cruel and vicious when someone REALLY presses his buttons, and typically is only an antagonist because circumstance has sort of put him in that position. The big difference between the two is what they seek: Willie’s problem-causing is usually a result of greed or ignorance. Billy, however, is someone with a LOT of personal issues: he’s lived a large portion of his life being neglected, rejected, abandoned, and betrayed. He’s effectively a very lonely person who just wants some affection, some respect, and above all some companionship. Show him those things, and you’ll probably be fine.

As to the art…I asked Twisted-Brainrot to do this one because he’s actually made more art for Billy than anybody else, and because he’s also a big fan of Willie the Giant. I’m not sure, but I think this might have been his first (public) outing with the Disney original, and he did an absolutely MARVELOUS job. Seeing the big guy paired up with Billy is truly a treat, and speaking of Billy, I just love how cute he is. TB always draws him with this really cuddly “extra plush” appearance, and it’s truly beautiful to see him that way with his great-great granddaddy. Good big bois, both of ‘em. <3

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crazylittlejester · 6 months ago

Note

So the myth is called The Wooing of Étáin (pronounced Ee-tane)

(Étáin being the character who Wars will take the place of in the au version)

(Also if you do look up the original myth I suggest ignoring the last part of the myth where/after Eochaid (Ee-oh-kade) has to pick which is the real Étáin. The result is treated as a horrifying thing in the original (as it should be) but subject is still disgusting even though it's somewhat standard fare for myths involving gods because in Irish mythology, some fairies are actually the ancient pagan deities that were worshipped pre-christianity)

But anyway, here's the child friendly version I grew up with:

A girl (Étáin) grows up dreaming of a blonde haired fairy prince (Midir). Eventually she forgets about these dreams and catches the eye of the handsome High King of Ireland (Eochaid) and they get married! Étáin at first is beyond happy, having everything she could ever dream of. However one night, a storyteller tells the royal court of the magical land of Tír na nÓg (T-ear nan ohw-guh (kinda pronounced like Ogre without the R sound), land of the fairies and immortality basically), the prince of that land, and his missing wife, the princess Étáin, who had disappeared without a trace.

Étáin the high king's wife, suddenly remembers her dreams of the same prince and realises she was the beautiful princess that went missing. She becomes distraught with homesickness for Tír na nÓg and starts hearing voices in the wind calling her name. Then one night, the wind and voices grow louder and she looks outside to see her dream fairy prince on a white horse and knows that he is here to take her back to Tír na nÓg.

Eochaid sees the prince too, and fearful of losing Étáin, he imprisons her in the palace dungeon, puts the palace into lockdown, and summons all his armies to guard it.

Étáin, unsurprisingly, is even more miserable in the dungeons, and prays for Midir to rescue her. The wind and voices grow ever louder until they suddenly stop and a bright light shines into the dungeon. Midir appears within the light and pulls her into a hug, in which they both turn into a pair of beautiful white swans. The roof of the dungeon opens up by magic, scaring Eochaid and all his soldiers, allowing the swans to fly free back to Tír na nÓg where they lived happily ever after.

For the au version, I was roughly thinking Tír na nÓg could be Wars' hyrule, with Midir being replaced by a familial relationship with the Chain instead of the romantic relationship in the myth. (And because of how prince/princess work as titles, it doesn't change with the relationship switch) I was leaning towards Time being Midir because as Mask he was in the war with Wars but also he's the one called Fairy boy. And so the dreams instead are about all the happy moments he spent with the chain. (Before Dink captured, tortured and wiped Wars' memory and then trapped him in something like the dark world version of Wars' hyrule).

The Eochaid the High King and his palace/armies could be Cia and her army instead. Because she would trap Warriors in a dungeon and she'd absolutely take advantage of him not remembering he's the hero if it means she can trick him into loving her. Which means Warriors gets a break down about remembering the war (and Cia's obsession with him) a second time :) this time it's even worse because he was tricked into marrying/being in a relationship with her!

And then of course Sky could be the one to rescue Wars, giving him Twi's shadow crystal to turn him into a swan, so that they can escape via flying together (with Sky on Crimson instead of also turning into a swan, although Sky turning into a Loftwing would be fun too!).

As this got a little long so I'll send the other myth as a separate ask!

— Shams of the Wild

THIS IS SO COOL AND I LOVE IT, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SHARING THIS WITH ME

i think i could use SOME parts of this for the swan wars au, but i honestly might also make a completely different thing so i can incorporate this because the story is really interesting!! :)

#jes talks #jes ask #shams of the wild

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skyloftian-nutcase · 2 years ago

Text

Elastic Heart Ch 4 (Linked Universe story)

Summary: When Sky goes missing, the Chain scrambles to figure out where he is and what happened before it's too late.

(AO3 link)

Chapter 1

<<Previous chapter // Next chapter>>

Chapter 4: Too Slow

It had been a fairly busy night at the bar, and Telma was thankful that it was emptying out. She loved the cheer and bustle that came with her business, but not when the majority of them were soldiers.

Sighing as she wiped the counter, she glanced over at Auru, Shad, and Ashei. The three were murmuring feverishly as they stared over a map, marking different places where monster attacks had been increasing. She was beginning to grab a round of drinks for them when her cat, Louise, started meowing incessantly at the door.

“Now, why would you possibly want to go out?” she asked the fluffy white feline as she headed for the entrance. “Don’t you know it’s pouring outside?”

Opening the door, she watched her cat scurry outside into the water. That wasn’t completely unusual, but…

Lightning flashed, and Telma gasped.

Leaning heavily against the railing was a small figure, shivering and half collapsed. Telma hastened outside, ignoring the water sloshing at her sandaled feet, and she quickly climbed the flight of stairs to reach him.

At first, she almost felt her heart skip a beat. The green the boy wore was all too familiar. “Link?!”

The boy twitched, his gaze rising to meet hers in acknowledgement, but the face was not Link’s. Who was this boy, and why was he dressed in the Hero of Hyrule’s attire?

Either way, he was clearly ill or…

The crimson stains told her enough.

“Come on, sweetie,” she said as she pulled him off the fence. She stumbled a little as he leaned nearly all his weight on her, limping badly on his right side. He seemed completely unaware he was even being guided anywhere by a stranger, just following along.

Telma shuffled as best she could while supporting his weight and immediately called for the others once she got inside.

Auru was there first, getting on the boy’s other side to assist him before his leg finally gave out entirely. The boy became dead weight, making Telma yelp and nearly knocking her over as Ashei hastily sprang forward to catch him by the shoulders. Auru took a deep breath, grunting a little as he picked the boy up and carried him to the nearest table.

Ashei scowled at the kid. “Why is he impersonating Link? Idiot child probably went gallivanting around as the Hero and got himself hurt for it.”

“That’s not the issue right now,” Auru said pointedly as Telma grabbed first aid supplies.

Shad hesitantly approached, his eyes scrutinous and curious. They settled on the sword still strapped to the boy’s back, still unnoticed by the others. “That blade…”

“Yes, we’ll have to get it off—” Auru said as he unstrapped the belt holding the sword in place, and then he froze.

“Isn’t that Link’s sword? Or it was?” Ashei asked, her tone growing sharp.

Shad glanced around the room warily, scanning for other patrons and seeing none. He took a step closer. “This isn’t just Link’s sword, it’s the sword of the Hero of Hyrule. The legendary Master Sword.”

Telma plopped the first aid kit on the table. “Whatever sword he has, he won’t be here much longer if we don’t get to work. Get his shirt and chainmail off.”

The sword was placed to the side, Auru hissing as it sent a stinging, burning sensation up his arm when he grabbed it, and they sat the boy up to remove his clothes. When the tunic, chainmail, and undertunic came off, though, all they saw were the angry red remains of freshly healed wounds with some blood clots caked around them.

Telma stared at it in confusion. “What… but then where did all this blood…?”

“Never seen fairy magic before?” Auru asked with a smile. “He may not be in danger of imminently dying, but he might have lost a lot of blood before he was healed. What he needs is rest.”

Telma huffed. “And something warm, he’s shivering. I’ll get some blankets.”

In the meantime, she rolled up the boy’s undertunic so it could serve as a pillow; it was damp with sweat and blood but not soaked all the way through like the rest of his clothes. When she walked away, the others grew more somber, staring at the sword.

“What could this possibly mean?” Auru wondered aloud. “Only Link can wield that blade. It tried to injure me from just touching it for a few seconds. How is this boy carrying it?”

“You think he took it from Link?” Ashei asked darkly. “Surely the sword can’t be won over, right?”

Here she glanced at Shad for advice, and he only shrugged. “Legend says that only the Hero of Hyrule can wield it, but it doesn’t specify how that works. But the blade is sacred, so… surely it can’t be from underhanded tactics.”

“A duel isn’t underhanded,” Auru pointed out.

Ashei huffed. “Link would never duel anyone.”

Telma returned with a veritable mountain of blankets, settling them over the teenager, who stayed asleep despite all the jostling. Just as she was about to say something, there was a loud knocking at the door.

“Now what?” she muttered, making her way to the entrance. “This is far too much excitement for this late at night.”

Ashei hastily threw a blanket over the sword lying beside the boy.

When Telma opened the door, she stared in mild surprise as the postman stood in the entrance. “Oh! Is there mail for someone?”

“For you,” he said triumphantly, and then, upon noticing the others behind him, smiled in delight. “Ah, for all of you! Here, I have a letter for each of you.”

Exchanging confused glances, the others approached as the post man handed out letters. Telma looked back at him, raising an eyebrow. “Do you ever sleep?”

“Oh, I do,” he replied with a laugh. “But I was told this was urgent. I’m relieved I found all of you. Now I can go home to my family and get a good night’s rest for more deliveries in the morning!”

With that, he left in haste.

Telma slowly closed the door, baffled. “He… has a family?”

Ashei snorted back a laugh and opened her letter, her brow furrowing. “It’s from Rusl.”

“So’s mine,” Auru announced, having already been reading his letter. “And I think I understand who this boy is now.”

“What?” Telma glanced between her letter and the others. “What does it say?”

“Rusl says Link knows about the source of the monster attacks and is attempting to track it down with the help of other Heroes of Hyrule,” Auru explained. “…Heroes from all over Hyrule’s history, he says.”

“Like… from different… from different eras?” Telma parsed out, bewildered. “Oh, my. I’ve seen some things, but this… are you sure that’s what he’s saying?”

“That’s what mine says too,” Ashei agreed.

Shad was positively beaming. “This is fascinating!”

“So then that boy…” Telma trailed off, her eyes drifting to the teenager on the table.

The others looked his way as well as he started to moan and shift. The group walked over to him, filled with curiosity but still a degree of wariness.

The teenager’s eyes fluttered open and he coughed a little. When he registered his surroundings and state of undress, he started to grow more flustered, breath quickening as he sat up.

“Easy, hon,” Telma said gently, putting a hand on his shoulder. “You’re okay. You practically collapsed right outside my bar.”

The young potential hero watched her, eyes wide and expressive. He was obviously frightened, but he had a sense of awareness to him, quickly taking in the others and growing more guarded.

“Who are you?” Ashei asked, cutting to the chase. “And why do you have that sword? Do you know Link?”

He bit his lip. His eyes settled on the letter clutched in Ashei’s hand, barely visible as she crossed her arms. Then he noticed the one stuffed in Telma’s belt and wide open in Shad’s hands as he pored over it and then looked at the teenager in unmistakable curiosity.

“Are those from Link?” he asked quietly.

“No,” Auru answered. “But you know him, don’t you?”

The teenager’s hand subtly slid to his right, finding the blade hidden underneath.

“Hey,” Telma cut in sharply. “No fighting in my bar. Nobody’s here to hurt you, sweetheart. They’re just worried about Link. We all are.”

The teenager immediately started to shake his head, grabbing his hair with one hand as if he was going to pull it out. Telma took his wrist and brought it down. “Easy, hon. It’s okay. Why don’t you tell us what’s going on?”

“I have to go,” he muttered. “I’m sorry I bothered you, but I have to go.”

“You passed out less than ten minutes ago,” Ashei said flatly. “I don’t think you’re going anywhere until you rest.”

The teenager raised an eyebrow at her, clearly annoyed. “You look like you need the sleep more than me.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Ashei snapped as Auru laughed.

The teenager sighed, moving a little more and wincing. Telma finally coaxed him back down gently. “Whatever your quest is, young man, you need to rest first. We can figure it out in the morning, okay?”

“’n the morning…?” the teenager slurred, already falling back asleep. When his breathing evened out, Telma sighed.

“All right,” she said, tucking the boy in a bit more before stepping away and eying the others. “I’ll contact Rusl. Could one of you take him to the back? I don’t think it would be good if word got around about this.”

XXX

Wild would be lying if he said he was okay. But at least he was hiding it better than he used to.

When Twilight had been hurt, the champion had nearly—well, had actually had a meltdown. How could he not? He’d lost so much; he couldn’t bear to lose anyone else, especially someone he cared about so dearly.

Yet here he was, staring at an empty space where Sky should be.

The camp was still, as it was the last vestiges of the night before dawn broke through the darkness. Wild had offered to take third watch, knowing well enough that he would wake around this hour whether he was on guard duty or not. He’d slept uneasily the night before, and the longer Sky was missing without so much as a hint to what was going on, the more anxious he became.

He just… he didn’t know how to process it. He was trying to keep his anxiety to a minimum, but it was a fear of the unknown, a dread that slid into his core like ice creeping through cracks in a foundation and ripping it apart from the inside. With Twilight it had been agonizingly straightforward - he’d seen his brother go down, and there was a clear culprit. He’d felt helpless to stop Twilight from dying, but the issue at hand had been apparent. Here…

This felt like his past, like the painful ache of everyone he’d known before the Calamity haunting him. He didn’t know their circumstances, he didn’t know what had happened to them, he’d barely been able to start piecing it together. He’d barely even resolved to try to piece it together, stories and people from another life a century ago gnawing steadily at his sanity.

But Sky wasn’t a phantom from a past he couldn’t remember. Sky was a part of his life now, and he was terrified he’d become another lost Champion, another piece of his life that just vanished into thin air with no explanation, no closure, nothing.

Wild hugged himself a little, feeling ice cold and alone. Goddess, he hoped Sky was okay. He wanted to get up and look for him now. The sunlight was beginning to make the horizon glow, and he shot to his feet to wake the others. He doubted they’d mind the early start.

A bush rustled and snapped, and Wild grabbed his bow and arrows in a heartbeat, yelling, “Everybody up!”

Snores and yelps sounded around the camp, and a figure shot out of the bushes with its hands held high in the air, eyes wide and terrified.

“Easy!” the figure said shakily, and Wild recognized the skinny, muscular physique and voice after a few seconds of confusion. The postman took a steadying breath as Wild lowered his arrow while others scrambled for weapons and then froze in bewilderment. “I have a letter for a Mr. Rusl, I’m just passing through to get to Ordon.”

Legend dropped his sword to throw his hands in the air. “Do you ever sleep?!”

Twilight stepped forward and smiled apologetically with bleary eyes. “I know Rusl. Who’s it from? I can deliver it for you.”

“I’m afraid I can’t say,” the postman answered, taking a step away. “I have to protect my client’s privacy!”

“You could also try not scaring us half to death,” Legend threw in while gathering his blankets that he’d tossed everywhere in his panic.

Twilight sighed. “I understand. We had just spoken to Rusl yesterday about an urgent matter, and I know he sent word to others. I was hoping it was information we were looking for. You could expedite our search.”

“Your search…?” the postman asked confusedly. “Mr. Link, I’m afraid I’m not following.”

“We’re on a very important quest,” Warriors piped up. “Link is the leader of our team and was sent personally by the queen. We had spoken to Rusl to help widen our search, and he’d been expecting word from others to help gather information. If you at least tell us who the letter is from, it’ll give us a better idea of whether this is helpful information you’re carrying.”

Twilight shrugged, trying to set the man at ease. “You know me. You’ve followed me all over Hyrule—”

“And beyond,” Four interjected quietly.

“—And so you know I’m not a dishonest or untrustworthy sort. At least tell me who it’s from.”

The postman sighed, pulling out the letter. “It’s from the barmaid, Lady Telma.”

Twilight immediately perked up, more alert. “Telma! That has to be in relation to Sky.”

“I’m afraid that’s for Mr. Rusl to decide,” the postman said as he moved his arm back towards his pouch.

Wind slid in beside the man, giving him a beaming smile, his expressive eyes twinkling. “We understand, Mr. Postman. You have your own heroic duty that you have to maintain.”

Legend opened his mouth to protest and Wind cut him off immediately, crossing his arms. “The postman delivers valuable conversations, gifts, and information all across Hyrule. He’s a Hero of Hyrule just like Link. We should respect that. Have a good day, Mr. Postman!”

With that, Wind stepped away and waved the man off, who practically glowed with pride and happiness at the compliment, bidding them a good day and running into the forest.

“Sailor, what the hell, that could have—”

Wind’s smile widened, eyes narrowing in mischief as he held the letter up in the air.

“You sneaky little pickpocket,” Warriors huffed with a smile as Hyrule laughed.

“I am a pirate,” Wind replied with a shrug, handing the letter to Twilight. “Now open it up! I want to know if it has to do with Sky.”

Twilight tore into the envelope, perusing the letter quickly before gasping.

“What does she say?” Time asked, facing him fully.

“Telma’s seen Sky!” Twilight immediately said, his face flushed with relief and joy. “She says he’s at her bar. He’s not hurt but he looks like he was at some point, she says he’s resting there now. We have to go!”

The camp burst into excited movement in an instant, and then Time held his hands out to calm everyone. “Easy. If the letter says he’s resting then we have time. Let’s eat so we have the energy to get to him.”

Although the anxiety to reach their friend was palpable, Time’s words made sense. Telma’s letter didn’t indicate that Sky was in serious condition or going anywhere, which gave them all time to take a collective sigh of relief. The slowly building tension within everyone eased and released itself through enthusiastic and cheery chatter.

Wild grabbed the cooking pot and tossed some ingredients in to make a large batch of oatmeal. It would be quicker to eat and everyone could have their bowl individually flavored as they pleased. He would save the majority of his ingredients for a celebratory feast when they found Sky. He grabbed his ladle automatically and then paused as his fingers brushed over the elaborate carving in the handle. Holding the cooking tool with both hands, he felt his chest clench as he traced the woodwork, his heart filled with sudden worry.

Sky’s position was known, and he seemed to be safe for now… but he’d been injured at some point. And that still didn’t explain why he’d left in the first place. Had he been captured and had escaped? Had he waited for them to come rescue him and then decided they weren’t coming? If the postman had been around for Telma to reach him, why hadn’t Sky himself sent a letter to one of them?

Four traipsed over, collapsing beside him with a heavy air, and Wild held back an unamused laugh. Their smallest brother was also quite the worrier; he shouldn’t have been surprised that the cheerful news didn’t help him for long. “I miss him too. But we’ll see him soon.”

“Hopefully,” Four muttered.

“Hopefully?” Wild repeated as he ladeled the oatmeal, stirring absentmindedly.

“I mean… he disappeared for a reason, right?” Four asked himself as well as Wild. “I just don’t understand.”

Wild whistled to catch the others’ attention. Everyone was already packed and nearly finished dressing for the day (Wind was complaining that the soles in his shoes were beginning to wear thin, distracting Twilight temporarily), and they hastened over to eat and head out.

“Guess we’ll find out soon,” Wild said, giving Four a reassuring smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes.

XXX

Link’s entire body hurt.

More pressing than that, though, was the buzzing in his mind that seemed to reverberate into his chest. Confused, his eyes snapped open as his body tried to process all the sensory input. His chainmail was off, and he was wrapped in what felt like a robe and a handful of warm blankets. His head rested on something that was too hard to be a pillow but too soft to simply be a hard surface. And that buzzing was—

People?

Turning so he was laying on his back rather than his side, he blearily took in the sight of a small room, an antechamber of some sort, that was hidden from a larger room by a curtain. The people were on the other side of the curtain except for one, who was sitting in a chair by the entrance. It was a young man who was heavily preoccupied with a book he was reading.

Where was he? The last thing he remembered was stumbling into the town and being completely overwhelmed by its scale. He was lost, it had been the middle of the night, and he’d been too exhausted to see straight.

He… he’d spoken to someone, hadn’t he? He vaguely remembered doing so. Was this that person’s house? Was that who was reading? No, no… it had been a woman’s voice for sure…

He smelled food and heard murmuring from beyond the curtain. Breakfast? He smelled something else, the smokiness of a hearty fire, the sharp scent that whet his tongue with a flavor he’d had in the past.

Mead? He remembered having some with the others a few worlds back (he had conveniently left out that he wasn’t considered of age on Skyloft - he’d been curious, after all). The smell was definitely something with alcohol, he was certain of that.

…A tavern?

The man in the chair shifted, pulling at his collar a little as he got more comfortable. The blue embroidery on it caught Link’s eye, familiar in its design to his own people’s clothing. What in the—where was he?

Shaking his head, Link turned back towards the wall to see his clothes folded neatly in a pile. His adventure pouch was leaning against them, just within reach.

The longer he stared at his belongings, the less hazy last night became, until it all crashed into him with sudden clarity.

Those people—they knew Twilight! Link had long since figured out this was Twilight’s Hyrule, based on the stories he’d told and hearing familiar names tossed around in different areas he’d visited. He didn’t want to stay here any longer than he had to - what if one of them sent a letter to Twilight and that bizarre postman actually found him? He’d somehow traveled through worlds to deliver mail in the past, after all. Link didn’t want them to know what he was doing, he didn’t want them to get hurt. It was best that they stay in the other Hyrule where he’d left them. The less they knew, the better.

Just like in his own adventure. He’d handled being alone before.

…Well. He’d had Fi. And Gaepora. And Impa, and eventually Groose. But it had been his first journey - he was more experienced now. He’d figure this out on his own. He had been doing fine so far.

You almost died, idiot, he argued with himself. Then he argued back, But I didn’t, so it’s fine.

Glancing around, he saw his escape route: there was a ledge of sorts that framed the walls, and one of them had access to a hole leading somewhere away from here.

Reaching forward slowly, he slid his adventure pouch under the blanket, fishing out his faithful little beetle. Aiming for the rope holding the curtain, he fired the little helper, which flew directly into the rope, snapping it and sending the curtain falling onto the man on the stool, who yelped. He then flew the beetle to a ledge and knocked a few pots over to the ground before summoning it back. In the mild chaos that ensued, he leapt off whatever he’d been resting on, grabbed his belongings, and used the half severed rope to climb up the ledge towards the exit he’d spotted.

The passageway was dark and stuffy, making Link’s skin crawl. He felt like he was underground digging through Mogma tunnels. He tried to ignore his heart rate steadily increasing in a panicked frenzy.

As he stumbled through the darkness, crawling since it was too small and narrow to stand, he saw a dull light up ahead. Eyes widening with hope, he ignored how many scrapes he’d gotten on his knees through the robe as it separated from the movement and hastened his pace. When he reached the opening, he stared in bewilderment.

Was this… a house? Why was it buried in coins? The place smelled strange, coppery and metal, but also damp. Sliding to the ground, he hissed as his bare feet slipped on coins and was cut by glittering stones. He hastily threw off the robe and put his clothes and gear back on properly before nearly rolling his ankle on another mountain of some sort of currency.

Growing frustrated, he grabbed on to a nearby open chest for purchase, and the damp smell slammed into his nostrils. Was it… coming from the chest?

Curious, Link peered into the treasure chest, which was larger than even the ones that held boss keys. He couldn’t see a bottom. He grabbed a coin and dropped it into the chest, listening, and eventually heard a splash.

There was water in there! Where did this chest lead? He couldn’t see any other exit since what was probably the door was held in place by more decadence than he could count, if he knew what value it held. It would take a while to shovel the coins and jewels away from it.

But this…

Pulling his sailcloth off his shoulders, he held onto it tightly and leapt into the abyss. The fall honestly wasn’t that long, but the lighting of the new environment hit him so suddenly he didn’t have time to deploy his sailcloth. This wasn’t an issue, though, since Link slammed into frigid water, making him gasp and nearly inhale a mouthful of it. He slid down a little flooded slope into more water, and as he looked around he was heavily reminded of the lower levels of the ancient cistern where he’d had to retrieve the sacred flame to temper the Master Sword.

Swimming through a few tunnels to a shore, he saw the vestiges of webs and went on high alert. A few keese were flying around and were easily dispatched, and thankfully he didn’t see any skulltulas… yet.

What he did see, though, was a dead end. What was the point of this place? It had to lead somewhere. It looked pretty dilapidated, maybe it used to lead somewhere.

With no other options (it wasn't like he could go back to the place he’d just escaped), he searched for clues. After crawling over some crumbling stone walls, he found something promising: a mound of exposed earth, loosened from being torn into fairly recently. In fact, if Link just moved some of it…

Poking hesitantly at the ground with his Mogma Mitts, he saw it give way into an already-made tunnel.

Wow. This really was like his last adventure.

Tying his sailcloth around his waist so it wouldn’t pull at his neck underground, he took a deep breath and entered the tunnel. He… hated these closed spaces. He already missed the sky. But he could manage. He had in the past, after all. He kept his focus on moving forward, crawling little by little through the passageway. The air grew clearer, and light started to pierce through the darkness. Relieved, Link climbed upward as the tunnel fed to its exit point.

Blinking a few times as the sunlight blinded him, Link dusted himself off and grew even more bewildered. He was in a tower now?

Did anything lead outside?!

Sighing, Link started to climb, noticing that the steps spiraling around the tower’s wall were broken in places, with attempts at construction evident. It looked like maybe a battle had happened here. Link wondered if it had to do with Twilight’s adventure.

Either way, some support ropes were strewn all over the place, allowing him to tightrope walk his way across. When he finally reached the top, the source of the sunlight, he smiled in relief. The windows flanked the doorway, and he exited out to stone walls high in the air. Then he finally got his bearings.

He was in the castle.

“Link?

Link’s head snapped to the side to see someone in ornate attire watching him. He almost asked how she knew his name when the realization sank in: she was talking about Twilight. She must have thought he was Twilight because their clothes were similar.

His stomach churned. He wondered why their attire was similar.

The beautiful brunette woman in the elegant dress watched him with such a… strange look. At first it was surprise, which was expected, as she registered that the person she thought she was speaking to was not, in fact, Twilight. But then her eyebrows returned to their resting place, her mouth closing slightly, and she cocked her head to the side, eyes scanning him. There was something… almost magnetic about her gaze. Link couldn’t move.

“It’s you,” she whispered as if she herself was entranced as well, taking a slow step towards him. Link took a nervous step back. “The one from…”

Here she hesitated, her hand rising to her chest and resting over it. Link watched her, disoriented but unable to look away. She held herself with such an aura of otherworldly… something. Power? Familiarity? The woman closed her mouth entirely, along with her eyes, and she tipped her head forward in a graceful bow.

Link shuffled in place, even more perplexed, but his uneasiness was starting to settle. She wasn’t a threat, at least, but who was she? And how did she recognize him?

“It’s good to see you again, Hero,” she said as she rose once more, a gentleness crossing her features as she clasped her hands in front of herself. “But I must ask… where is Link?”

…What?

Good to see me again? When have we seen each other before? Is that why she seems weirdly familiar?

Link shook his head a little, focusing on answering the question. “He’s… busy. There are monsters in a distant land that are enchanted with dark magic and he’s getting rid of them.”

“There are such beasts here as well,” she commented. “Did… did he send you here to assist? I didn’t know such a thing was possible.”

Possible? This was making less and less sense. But it seemed she had valuable information he could use to track the Shadow, so he tried to ignore his returning unease. “I’m here to help. Tell me where they are.”

“I’ve heard reports of their presence near Faron, Eldin, and the Gerudo Desert.”

“I eliminated the first two hordes,” Link said. “How do I get to the Gerudo Desert?”

The woman’s brow furrowed together almost imperceptibly, her poise remaining intact and trying to hide her seeming confusion. “There is a passageway that is protected by my guards by Lake Hylia. They can escort you there.”

Her guards? Oh… this lady was important. He definitely didn’t want to ask her name - she obviously seemed to assume that he knew her. That would just make things incredibly awkward.

Wait.

She… she was someone of importance. Who had guards. Who knew Twilight. Who had authority to take Link anywhere in Hyrule.

Oh, goddess. This was… this was Twilight’s queen, Zelda.

Zelda. When Link had first learned that there were others who also bore her name in each Hyrule, he… hadn’t known what to think. He'd assumed that perhaps girls were named after her because of the impact she had on history. But with the curse… the only other possibility was…

Those who share the blood of the goddess and the spirit of the hero.

The spirit of the hero was shared among Link and the others whom he had left behind to protect them. Which meant those named Zelda were… well… his Zelda’s descendants. And seeing as it was highly unlikely she was romantically interested in anyone aside from him…

This woman was his descendant.

Did she… there was no way she actually knew that, was there? How did she claim to know him?

Goddesses. His bloodline. His descendants had to fight Demise on a regular basis as well. He’d cursed his own family.

Link felt his chest tighten and his mind grow numb as the emotions were too overwhelming to process. He pulled anxiously at his sailcloth, words failing him, and leapt over the side of the wall to make a hasty escape just as the woman called out to him in surprise.

Lake Hylia. Gerudo Desert. He didn’t need an escort. He didn’t need to be near anybody. This was—he was—

Goddesses above, he just wanted this to be over. He would restock in the market he remembered seeing last night and then get the heck out of here. There were already too many people here, just adding this to it was—

Link shook his head as he hastened by confused guards. Shouts started to echo across the pathway and he pushed past the last pair to lead out into the square.

And then he nearly had a heart attack. Was that—were those—

What the hell were they doing here?!

Hiding behind a pillar, he sucked in a breath as Hyrule froze in mid step, turning to scan the area where he had just been standing while the other heroes pushed ahead towards the opposite pathway. Legend called for his friend, whose intense gaze finally turned away to follow the veteran.

How did they find the portal so quickly?! How were they here in the capital?! What were they doing?! They… surely they weren’t… there was no way they were looking for him, were they? Link felt his heart clench and mouth go dry at just the thought, and he immediately shut it down. No. That wasn’t why they were here. He wasn’t even going to think about how his absence was affecting the group. He was the slowest member, he’d gotten Warriors and Hyrule hurt when he couldn’t keep up - this had nothing to do with him.

They must have heard about the monster attacks and were trying to clear out Twilight’s land. But that put them too dangerously close to the Shadow. There was no time, there was no time!

Trying to catch his breath, Link rushed away from the group to find directions to Lake Hylia and get to the desert as quickly as possible.

XXX

Wind hovered so closely to the others that he nearly tripped over their feet. As exciting as it was to see Castle Town, this place was overwhelmingly large and crowded. Wind was fairly certain this city alone held double the population of Outset Island. The entire place was floored with uneven cobblestone that reflected some of the sunlight in little puddles, and the air was filled with voices and footsteps and water trickling from the fountain and singing and dancing and calls for sales on acquired goods and—by the sea, this was a lot.

Warriors wandered around with an air of command, making the crowds part out of his way, and so Wind practically clung to his scarf, carried through the crowd like someone caught in a rip current. Hyrule was similarly quiet and subdued while Legend meandered between different market stalls and alleys, hanging near the periphery of the large plaza. Twilight was in the front of the group, leading the way to Telma’s Bar while Time hovered towards the edge of the plaza as well, staying in the shadows. Wild had to drag himself from every food stall he saw, snapping himself back into focus. The energy of the group was a strange mix of relieved, elated, and anxious, as if their quest was almost over but they weren’t sure if Sky was just out of reach or not. Wind was certainly relieved they finally had a location and confirmation that he was alright, and he was eager to see his friend again and give him the biggest hug he could muster.

Four paused just ahead of Wind, glancing somewhere in the plaza at the same time as Hyrule. Wind turned to face them as he continued to walk, nearly tripping over Warriors’ scarf once more.

“What are you guys doing?” he asked.

Hyrule didn’t move, simply staring at something. Four, however, rushed to the other side of the plaza where some musicians were playing and singing. He stood there for a moment, a smile on his face, and then dropped a few rupees in the pan on the ground before skipping back to the group.

“I always love the street performers when I go into Castle Town,” Four explained breathlessly as he caught up with the group. Wind had to smile at his flushed cheeks; Four had been pretty morose despite the good news, but he’d been growing steadily more excited the closer to the city they’d gotten. It seemed he’d finally caught the infectious relief that was swimming through the group.

At least through the younger members of the group. Time seemed strangely quiet, and it made the sailor a little worried and curious. What was the Hero of Time seeing that Wind wasn’t?

“Hope the money’s the same in this Hyrule,” Legend remarked as he joined the group once more.

Four froze in mid stride, horrified that he might have insulted the street performers with useless money, and Wind grabbed him by the wrist. “It’s okay, it’s the thought that counts!”

Meanwhile, Legend called to Hyrule, who hadn’t moved an inch. The traveler finally snapped out of whatever daze he’d been in and hurried to them just as the group entered another street.

As they moved, Wind’s eyes finally lingered long enough on his overwhelming surroundings for him to register something he actually wanted. It was a smaller market stall, which was a relief, and it was absolutely overflowing with apples. The apple looked scrumptious and he was honestly pretty hungry after hiking across Hyrule Field at an accelerated pace all morning. Wind tried to get the seller’s attention, but the man didn’t pay him any mind, seemingly too busy with other clients. When he glanced at Wind after the sailor had done his third polite “excuse me, sir,” he waved dismissively with a comment about street kids and don’t have time or something of the sort.

Indignant, Wind furrowed his brow and snatched an apple anyway, whirling and getting ready to take a bite out of it when it was hastily yanked out of his hand. He let out a protesting whine, but it fell on deaf ears as Warriors plopped the red, juicy, life sustaining fruit back on the stall before the seller had a chance to notice what had happened.

“Sailor, you know better,” Warriors said in a low, chiding tone. “Why are you trying to steal?”

“He was being rude and I’m hungry,” Wind replied, annoyed. “And that was with me being nice.”

The captain raised an unconvinced eyebrow, putting a guiding hand on Wind’s back and pulling him away from the stall. “We’ll get food once we get to Sky.”

Wind understood that. It wasn’t like he didn’t recognize they were moving with a good degree of urgency. This wasn’t some foreign or unintelligible concept to him - he’d lost his sister for Farore’s sake. But the letter had said Sky was safe - Wind also understood that as well, which meant they shouldn’t be so frantic about everything. Being hasty meant not thinking, and despite his exuberance and young age, the Hero of the Winds did try to be measured in his pace.

Most of the time.

He supposed there was more to it, a reason the excitement the younger heroes felt was tempered with a degree of unease in the elders. Ignoring his growling stomach, he let the captain get a step ahead of him, still in sensory overload with everything around him and also wanting some space from more chastisements. Then he saw an apple appear directly in front of him, held by a hand decorated in rings.

Wind blinked, registering the sight, and then gasped, grabbing the fruit with a grateful smile glowing upward at the veteran hero. “Thanks, Vet! Wait—did you buy it from that jerk?”

Legend scoffed and then winked, bumping his elbow against the younger hero’s shoulder. “Guy was rude, anyway. Don’t tell the captain.”

Wind practically gasped in delight. Finally, someone who understood! He took a bite and skipped to keep up with everyone else.

Twilight led the group to the end of the street, but before exiting the city entirely, he veered left down some stairs in a side alley. Wind hastily stuffed his half eaten apple into his adventure pouch as the group huddled together at the entrance to what had to be Telma’s Bar. They entered single file, and Wind felt his anxieties from the city settle with the familiar sight of a tavern.

The place was small and cozy, just as the young sailor liked them. There weren’t many people in at this hour, which was a bonus. But there was something very apparent.

Sky wasn’t here.

“Telma?” Twilight called uncertainly.

A woman who was sweeping what looked like clay shards paused in her work, glancing up. “Link! Oh, honey, what a sight for sore eyes. I’ve had quite the encounter and I think you’ll be interested to hear it.”

As the others huddled around Twilight to see the woman and listen to her words, she raised an eyebrow and lowered her voice. “I see you brought... are these the other Heroes that Rusl wrote about?”

“Where’s Sky?” Wind immediately asked, his earlier cheeriness dissipating.

The woman, presumably Telma, cocked her head to the side. “I’m sorry, dear, but I don’t know who that is.”

Time laid a hand on Wind’s shoulder, and the young hero understood the motion, sighing and biting his tongue as Twilight spoke. “Rusl's right. These are the others, but we're still missing one. He goes by that nickname. I got info saying you might have run into him.”

“Actually, yes,” Telma answered, and Wind perked up. “But you just missed him.”

“Where’s he going?” Legend immediately questioned.

“I’m afraid I don’t know, hon,” Telma said with a sigh, sweeping the last of the shards into a bin. “He certainly caused quite the stir. Found him stumbling outside the bar last night, soaked to the bone and exhausted. I let him rest here the night, couldn’t get much out of him. He seemed like a nervous fellow. But just earlier he disappeared right as half my bar seemed to fall apart!”

Wind wilted under Time’s hand. They were right back where they started. But Sky had to be close, maybe Twilight could follow his scent—

Oh. Of course he couldn’t. He couldn’t turn into a wolf here. Wind blew out a hiss of a breath, blinking frustrated tears away.

I just want my brother back.

“I’m sorry,” Telma said genuinely. “I wish I had more for you. It’s midday and you look exhausted. Why don’t you stay here and eat something while my associates keep an eye out? They were already looking for him.”

“Associates?” Four repeated, raising an eyebrow.

Twilight, though clearly worried, gave a reassuring smile to the smithy. “They’re friends, and they’re reliable. If anyone can find Sky, they can.”

His words did little to ease the tension in the room as everyone was growing more concerned with Sky’s disappearance, especially since he couldn’t be far. Wind wanted to turn right around to track him down, but his stomach growled loudly, and it was practically like a death knell to his plans as Time said, “Let’s eat.”

To everyone’s relief, though, he added, “Quickly.”

The group took a couple tables and pulled them together. Wind noticed a keg on one of the tables he was moving and excitedly reached for the sweet smelling mead when both Twilight and Warriors pulled him away. He pouted. “Oh, come on! Linebeck lets me drink, and rum’s way stronger than mead!”

“You’re too young,” Twilight argued.

“Not on an empty stomach,” Warriors chided at the exact same time, garnering a horrified look from Twilight.

“What do you mean not on an empty stomach, the answer is not at all!”

“He goes through what we do,” Warriors fired back with a shrug. “He should be allowed to partake as we do.”

“That’s—that’s literally the worst logic I’ve ever heard—”

“Just shut your traps and eat, will you?” Legend interrupted, throwing a loaf of bread at the pair.

Hyrule picked up a bowl of stew by the hands immediately after it was placed in front of him. Wind did the same and the two caught each other’s eye. For a moment their anxieties were channeled into mischief instead, and the pair set off to racing to see who could gulp the stew down the fastest.

“For the love of Farore, you’re going to choke,” Four groaned, rubbing his face tiredly.

Wild slurped the remains of his stew, plopping his bowl on the table. “I win.”

Wind coughed, flabbergasted and affronted. “You weren’t even in the race!”

Before the atrocity could be further addressed, the entrance to the bar burst open and multiple soldiers rushed in as if they were about to arrest everyone in the room. The heroes quieted, hands subtly sliding to their weapons, but the soldiers didn’t lay a finger on anyone. Instead, they were scanning the area with a strange frantic energy, poking at corners as if the barrels of wine would come to life.

“What’s with all the fuss?” Twilight asked the soldiers as they scurried about the place.

“Her Majesty ran into the Hero of Legend himself,” the soldier answered.

The entire group stared at the armored man. Then at Twilight. Then at the soldier again.

“Really?” Time asked, eyebrow raised and tone denoting exactly what he thought of the man's intelligence.

“The Hero of Legend,” Legend deadpanned. “Oh boy. Wow. That’s—wait, the Hero of Legend?!”

Everyone stared at the veteran now, bemused. Then it hit Four.

“He was seen here?” Four asked quickly. As soon as the question left his lips, everyone went on alert, figuring out exactly who the soldier was talking about. This wasn't about Twilight at all, it was about Sky!

“We have been tasked with finding him and escorting him to Gerudo Desert to eliminate the beasts that plague the land!” the soldier explained.

“Yes, he’ll get rid of the monsters! We're just doing escort duty,” another added. “Now stand aside; we must fulfill our duty!”

The soldiers pushed by them with high importance and haste, leaving the eight heroes in their wake.

Wind blinked, processing the exchange they’d just had and then looked at Twilight. “Your knights are idiots.”

Twilight huffed. “I won’t deny that. But now we know where to go.”

"You think he already headed out?" Hyrule asked.

"Of course he did, at the rate he's going," Four answered. "Why is he doing this?"

The group went silent.

“We should leave now,” Time said, putting money on the table for Telma as he stood. “We can’t fall too far behind.”

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wordsarefakeokay · 1 year ago

Text

What does capitalism taste like

Does it taste like white picket fences and 2.5 kids

What about a dog in the backyard and BBQs on the weekend

Knowing all your neighbors names and having the HOA on speed dial

Does it taste like the life you want to live?

Are the HOA in your contacts because they keep calling you

Or are you calling them

Does that complicated C word taste the homogeneity in your neighborhood

Where the police arrive in 2 seconds flat, with a gate and a patrol to match

Does it taste like "I'll wait here for your manager" and weekends at the golf course

Does it taste like a martini because the trophy spouse has a long day?

Does it taste like security cams and a ranch on the property with the stable boys and the guest house to the side with the cabana ones?

Does it taste like equestrianship is in your blood from birth? What about fencing?

Does it taste like ivy league vines crawling up babies spines from birth?

Does it taste like "Harvard is your dream not mine" and then rebellion

Does rebellion look like a fully funded backpack trip to Europe with your first great love

Or does it look like "I'm going to work for my parents equally rich rival company"

Or does it look like different freedom, independence, simply a different life

Where you can still ask your parents for money because you reached a happy ever after in the movie

What does capitalism taste like

Happily ever after is fake for us real folks so it must hold true for those up top right?

People in gated communities who's stepford mother's figures are earned with the local book club

Who's menopause kicks in at the same pace because we're all just clucking hens bonding together aren't we

Aren't we all just girls looking to connect with other girls in line for the bathroom?

Let's be honest, we all have some kind of mommy issue don't we? #justgirlythings

And what about the men? Is it really just an opportunity to measure up?

Is it a subtle side eye to measure manhood, even tho bro code states "thou must not make eye contact with another bro I'm the bathroom"

Doe you feel like enough when you see a guy like your ex is now dating

Do you feel reassured when you notice your manhood is better?

Why does size matter?

Why am I automatically called "a little lady" by cowboys who are raised to believe "bigger in Texas" really means better

Is this what capitalism does

Does "be a man" follow men into the bathroom like "don't be a pussy" does for women?

Why must public communal bathrooms make us decide a gender right at that moment

Can't we measure a bathroom by the content of their room?

Stalls or urinals? Privacy or not? Right this way fellow citizen

Citizen. Human. Person. Life.

What does capitalism taste like

Does it taste like legislation against the gays?

No cakes no websites no space no homos

No healthcare no rights no sports pro bono

Hare dare anyone use pronouns! Fake news!

Them libs want you to think you can be referred to anything but your name. It's the devil's work

Didnt you hear that song? Call me by your name? He was a devil in the music I daresay! The devil!!

I'd let the devil fuck me

At least he would treat me right and show me a good time

What has capitalism done

This thing we fought for so that all our founders' legacies might have a future

Future away from tyranny and taxation and being slaves to our king

We have no kind any more, no crown jewels to protect, but we act the same

Why is the one who's always on top always the winner who writes the history

The winner who's educated

from a family with money

who were taught good Christian values

with a fencing rapier in hand and

Shakespeare in their veins

Is this what capitalism does

Dilutes us to the elite

Homogeneous suburbia and "all you need is fairy tales and you can be rich too"

Political correctness and "just find a man to solve your problems"

It's not just little girls who get told their not good enough

The gender non conforming community has definitely unlocked a whole cheat code on life

That and the furries who have been the scientific backbone of this country for eons

But why do my apples taste not like what an apple tree looks like in the movies?

The one in the corner of Mamma Mia on the isle in Greece

Where my problems were solved by not getting married but traveling the world as a skinny white woman with her Kenough manly man

Singing voice for character wink

Why don't my apples taste like those on the Grecian island where the stories of the locals are forgotten to the American story, the American dream

I escaped my mom and became one myself

I'm a self made woman now

With a mortgage she can't pay and life problems that were clearly solved by marrying the man who hurt her the most in life

Why doesn't my apple taste like how that apple tree looks?

Why doesn't it taste like the apple from the garden?

Why doesn't it taste like the freedom eve must have felt when she disobeyed

Why is the taste of temptation diluted in my cheap apple from the superstore in the fruit section

Does it taste like pesticide and FDA regulations

Who keeps them in check? The CDC? WHO?

The DOJ or FBI or NAFTA or the Geneva convention

Was it a Geneva suggestion or a line from the treaty of Versailles or did agent orange bring us here

How many babies were born deformed before I ate this apple

And how many nat GMO products have I consumed that my human body has endured?

What does capitalism taste like? Because I swear, remaining tribal lands must not be like this

Forgotten poor African villages eat different

Forgotten poor native south America cultures remain intact on top of mountains that the white or Spanish or French have not yet learned to monetize

And now they will never because the people on the ground know better and are stronger

And capitalism stays the same

Progress is progress no matter how small

But all this progress

Is it good for us

Good for our taste buds

They say to beware vaccines and microchips but aren't we already a cyborg because we carry a favored microchip in our hands?

The ones we avoid calls from home on and instead laugh at cat videos

We share, bare our souls online to strangers but the people in our lives could never break our pokerface

But if we were born this way

Would we ever know what capitalism tastes like

If we don't ask someone else?

Does capitalism taste like the additive sugar in a fun size bar of crunch

Does it taste like the chocolate take over energy found in the Nestle headquarters

Or does it taste like the cocaine they put into coca cola to keep people buying more

I'm not convinced that the girl scouts didn't take that idea for themselves

Does capitalism taste like the working conditions of these massive corporate overlords

Or the factories where they bottle and bag and package comfort for 1.25

Does it taste the endless metallic conveyor belts

Or the chance that peanuts were used in any of those products

Does it taste like our countries trade deal for cheap products made from other companies

Does it taste like the the sweat shops that make your favorite new shirt or those fashionable high tops

Does it take like the abused labor that built this country

Does it taste like all the ghost statues of people who should have been memorialized instead of forgettable white men from history

Does it taste like the rust they should have earned all along

Or does it taste like the pain of forgotten artists

The heart of Harlem the beasts of Boston the cheeps of the Cherokee

Does it sound like the ones who's names we forget

The neglected breaks of the Oregon trail the gentrification of the only pockets of culture in this country

The Japanese internment camps

Border patrol and the place where there was almost a wall

Are the tears of all the family members of witches still a part of Salem

What about the hurt caused by the fights for gender equality that excluded black women

Does capitalism taste like Jim Crow or strange fruit

Just because it's rotting in the back doesn't mean it's in our past

These caged birds still sing can't you hear?

I fear for my brother and my niece and my nephew daily, their lives matter too

Friends neighbors family

They're still part of your labor or did you forget what The 13th taught us

Toni Morrison, Frederick Douglas

Miles Davis, Billie Holliday

MLK and Malcom X

HER and Missy Elliott

They run in our veins

The revolution is not televised

Stonewall certainly can't be told by anyone else

Nor can we forget the power of black trans women in the creation of pride spaces

What about the flyover cities that are meant for rural living with signs screaming "no airport here"

The pain of the indigenous people who's land a mindless mall was built over

Being given back land that belonged to those born here ages past

Ancestral home can be yours with a side of steak knives

And while I'm here can I interest you in the Book of Mormon

What about their tears? Their blood their breaks their pain

Does capitalism taste like that?

The endless lost even now and memorialized in art with a red handprint to their portrait

The lack of water and resources to land promised back

Ancestral home returned but you're on your own. Unless you're ready to hear about our Lord and savior

When will we realize we aren't a savior to begin with

Is this what capitalism tastes like?

Institutions built for white people who forgot that the land isn't theirs and never was

Home of the brave where those with the most force and money can get anywhere

We're the underdogs, the land of opportunity, come on by

You just have to follow these few simple rules

So if you're not perfect or cookie cutter, don't worry we'll just sand around the edges

So you'll fit into these boxes and society can know what to do with you

But if you're too much or not enough be ready to hate the rest of your days here

Welcome to the country of goldilocks and fuck you if you're not "just right"

What does capitalism taste like for you?

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